a thousand thoughts flashing through,
yet not a single one comforting
and in the panicked haze,
all that mattered was you.
your smile, your laugh, your voice,
realising how naive, how stupid, how frail
screaming, begging for you to hold on
I’ll disintegrate if you were gone
At the beginning I finally thought I found someone like me, someone who's love means obsession.
But even just after a few months exactly what I feared would happen happend.
I am now the only one stuck like this, I am now the only one who keeps posting about him, the only one checking all is social media frequently when I am on my pc, the only one who can't keep their mind off the other one.
I am so obsessed with him it eats me from the inside out. Even having a slight uncomfortable discussion with him makes my stomach turn making me feel like I have to throw up and my head feels dizzy. Ĭ̷̧̢̹̳̞̩͕̳͈ ̸̮̬̞͎̀̂̉̍͘̕C̸͍̜͍̈́̆͑̈́͗̈́̉͑̚A̶̲̜͓̠̰̬̾̅͗͑̽̂̅͒N̵̺̬̻̯͔̦͔̼̬̈͂̿̇͊̐̄̏͝T̴̟͈̑̐̀̄̚̕ ̴̨͇̜̱̾͗̅̈́̐̋̎͠͝H̶̢̨̢̬̤̣͙͙̏̔̅͒̕Ã̶̦̌͋̈́̒͝͠N̵͇̟̩̉͊̏͂͛́D̶̛̘̟͖͍L̴̢̙͎͇̳̖͔͈̫̤̎̇͆̾̈́̈́Ę̷̢̢̜̫̬̗̮͓͎̒ ̶̡̝̪̲̠̤̬̣̳̓̂̍͂̆́͑̎̚Ţ̶̧͎͙̱̫̈́̉́̍̔̿̈̚͝H̵̰̭̽̎͂̈́̍̎̉̚Ḙ̶̏̂̀̈̌̏̀ ̴̘̤̃͆́͛͗͆́̋͗͠Ţ̵̳̼̩͊͂͐̀̽͋̈̄̽Ḣ̸̲͙̺̜̌̀͝Ǫ̵̮̬̬̰̹͈̗̜̊̿̊͐̑̄̑̄͜͠Ư̷͎̩̣̣̹̞͇̥͕͔͌͒̏͌́͘͝G̴̡̜̜̲̞̗̈̃͋̎́̑͋͠H̸͎̗̗̗̅́̋̾̃͌̀͘T̷͓̹̮̤̱͚̪̊̏̅̋̽̉͜͝ ̵̨̯͓̘͍͈͋͌̓̔̾͒ͅÖ̵̮͔̱̩̭̫͓͖̆̐̇F̴̨̪̱̿̈́́̌̉͑́̈́̕ ̷̼͉̜͓̉̿̅̈̕͜ͅL̶̙͍̬̼̜͇͗͛̈́̐͐̓̓̕͝͝Ó̴͈̼̒͌̈̕͜ͅƠ̷̫͑̔͋͑S̵̡͍͍͙̼̣̬̗̄̐̐̈́̅̐Ǐ̶̧̎͛̌̄̊̚Ń̸̡̻̹̩͙̺̲̻͕͊̈̎G̴̫͍̱͔̹̑̾̈́̿̓͝ ̶̻̽̒͠Ỳ̶͓͎̼̪͋̑̾͒Ṍ̵̙͖͉̮̱̜̊͐̆̾͘͝ͅͅƯ̵̳̘̫̄̈͗̑̊̕̚͝
Why doesn't he post about me anymore like he did a few months ago? Am I not interesting enough anymore? Have I gotten boring because he knows he can have me now? ? A̶͒͝M̸̡̺͎͕͝ ̷̢̜̙̹̍̀̚̕ͅI̶̧̛̩̠̩̮͋́̄̐ͅ ̸͙̙̪͐̽̈̃͘Ṫ̷͚̻̏́̌̽͑̾̃̿̕O̸̰͍̲̫̿̊̾͋̈́̆̕͘ͅO̵̧͉͛̓̋͗̌̋̒̕̚ ̷̞̲̥̯̈́͗́͌͗͌̅̎̚M̵̧̺͕̝̖̅͒́̉́̑̀̀͝͠Ư̴͚̻̼͇͚͈̙̝̤̮̔͒̂͑̄͆͂̍C̶̥͕̜̝̠̹̄̂H̵̡̩͊̆̏̎̇͜ ̶̗͆̂́͗̒̏̅́̌̓F̵̏́͌ͅǪ̵͇̰͕̻̼͓̃͒͒͗̆̔̈̀̏̏R̵̨͉̼͕̬̗̼̼͐̓̈́̿̃̌̈́͒̾ ̶̛̮͓͚̞̊͒̃̉̇̊̌̚Ŷ̵̜͖͎̜̿͛O̸̜̹̮̠͗͜U̴̠͍̲͔̣̓̍̋̂͝?̶̣̖̤̤̣̾͆̇̚ ̶̱̳̫͍̃̂͝͝͝Ț̸̗̫̩̬̬̄̆̍̓͐̈́͜ͅO̷̲͊Ọ̵̬̲͈͈͠ ̷̛̲̤͌͌̇̐͋̐̂͠I̷͎͊̔̏͐͘N̴̨̲̝͉̳͖͋͌̽͜T̶̡̛̪̟͔̼͕̖̀͂̉̎̊̑͝͝E̵͙͎̳͕̬͚̲͈͑Ņ̵̨̼̻̠̹͗͜S̸̭͍̰̫̬͚̱͎͛̿̈E̵̢̛̟̘̙̜͔̥̾̊̄̈́????He doesn't even like my posts here. He used to instantly like something as soon as I posted it. I think now he doesn't even see what I post here. Otherwise I probably wouldn't write this.
Now he hasn't liked anything in about a month or maby even longer.
When he says he loves me... What dose he mean?
At the beginning I felt so loved and now that I have fallen for him I just find myself constantly asking him if he still loves me...
He used to jokingly threaten me to kidnap me and put me somewhere only he can find me so I'll be with him forever and I am only his... I miss that... Was all that just show to make me fall for him because he knew how fucked my head is?
I think I am turning into the abandoned dog begging to be loved and taken care of again...