#how to handle grief

[authorlakisha]

Holiday Grief

Grief will make you curse and hate the holidays. Grief will have you contemplating staying in bed. Grief will make you feel guilty about enjoying the holidays, you love. Grief – a deep feeling of sorrow. Grief is heavy enough on its own without you adding anything to it. Instead, think about your loved ones who are no longer here. How did they spend the holidays? Truly think about it. How…

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#Author Lakisha Johnson #grief during the holidays #holiday grief #how to handle grief #Kisha&039;s Daily Devotionals #Lakisha Johnson #Psalm 55:22 #Temple Church #what does the Bible say about grief

[starry-bi-sky]

my body's aching like a knock-down drag-out

and my poor heart is an open wound A Childhood Friends Au snippet that very briefly delves into Danny's life post-accident. CW: Mild Mentions of Blood, Violence, VERY mild gore ig. Danny briefly recalls getting impaled during a fight.

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What they don't tell you about being dead is that it hurts. That it can hurt. That it can hurt more than when you were alive. That when you die, the emotions you die with stick with you like a leech that just won't let go. That emotions are ugly little thorns that stick their barbs into you and grow beneath your skin; or, at least, whatever’s left of it. 

Danny is familiar with anger. It kept him warm in Gotham, when his parents weren't home from work and he and Jason were crowding Crime Alley with their presence. It kept him warm in Amity, when the fresh sting of moving was still needling into his heart and he wanted nothing more than to rip and tear into the closest person next to him.

He's familiar with violence. With fights. With death. He's seen people die in Crime Alley probably every day. From overdose, from gunshots, from stab wounds; anything that can kill, rest assured he's seen it. He's familiar with getting his own knuckles rough and bloody when other kids turn and bare their teeth at him and Jason; they're all just starving dogs stuck in a fighting pit, primed and ready to rip out each other's throats. 

Black eyes, stomped hands, bloody noses. You name it; he’s had it. Gotham is paved with the blood of her children, and Danny likes to imagine that when he was born, the doctors handed his mother a file and told her; “Take it. He’s going to need it for his teeth.” 

Danny’s mom (and dad, for that matter) was too busy trying to keep him and Jazz fed, so Danny stole the file from her drawer with Jazz’s help, and did it himself.  

He’s familiar with anger, he thought he was getting better at it these days. It doesn’t come to him as easily as it did before. Of course, that was before Jason died. 

Danny is less familiar with grief. Caring kills and Gotham kills the caring, so Danny cares very little about other people. Or he tries to. But grief hurts. His grief hurts. It hurts too much. It hurts like a bug trying to crawl out of his chest; like a rat chewing a hole through his heart. Some days he wants to dig his hands into his hair and split himself down the middle. Some days he just wants to scream. 

He’s dead. He’s dead. He’s dead. 

He wants the whole city to hear him wailing, some days. It sticks itself in the back of his throat like bile, and Danny is one wrong retch away from letting it loose. It sticks in his lungs like all the tar he’s smoked in since he was nine. It pushes and aches at his temples, in his head, like his brain is trying to swell out of his skull. His thoughts becoming so loud they threaten to commandeer his tongue.  

He has no mouth, but he must scream. 

Something they don’t tell you about being dead is that it hurts. That it hurts more than when you were alive. Something they don’t tell you about being dead is that it’s violent. That it’s bloody. Or as bloody as it can be when everyone has no blood. 

Another thing they don’t tell you about being dead, is that it’s a lot like Gotham that way.

With no threat of death, Danny’s enemies forget death itself. Blood comes easy, like water, and teeth are encouraged. Bring your own fangs to the fight. Dying is something you can just walk off. 

Danny’s been dead for three months. He can’t say he’s been walking it off easy. He’s perfected the art of turning his nails into claws since his heart was still beating, but he can’t say he’s perfected fighting other ghosts. 

Scrappy is just not enough. 

He feels like he’s back in Gotham again. Back in her death-shroud alleyways, fighting someone bigger than him. But there’s no Jason to watch his back, and Danny has to get himself out of there alone. Or he might just not get up at all. 

Black eyes, busted lips. It’s familiar to him like an old scent, Danny isn’t quite sure that he’s missed it. It’s more familiar than his fights with Dash. 

But there’s no one else who can do it but him. Not Sam, not Tucker. He can’t lose them too. He can’t. He can’t. He can’t. His heart can’t take another break, he already feels like he’s going insane. 

With no threat of death, Danny’s enemies fight like death themself. He learns why when Technus puts a street sign through his stomach one day. It pins him to the asphalt like a moth pinned by its wings. 

Danny claws at the metal like how an animal caught in a trap chews off its leg, and every move is blinding pain. He thinks he was howling, but it’s hard to tell. He couldn’t recognize the sound of his voice. 

He bleeds green. It mixes in black with the pitch blackhole in his heart, which throbs and twists and cries in time with his reckless panic. The finger-choking terror of dying again strangles out the air he doesn’t need. His blood evaporates, only to reabsorb into him. It just bleeds out again, cycling like a snake eating its own tail. 

Danny breaks his nails clawing at the metal, and eventually gets it in his mind to pull it out. So he does, and the end drips ectoplasm green as he gets to his feet. In red-vision, Danny sends the sign back with snarling, vicious fervor. The pain is irrelevant in his rage.

Only after the fight does the hole the pole left start to close. Danny doesn’t shift human until it’s gone. Unlike other injuries, a scar stays behind. Ugly; mottled, it aches for a week with every twist and stretch his body makes. He hates it. 

Being dead is agony. 

Every part of him is in pain. Every step, every word he speaks, everything he does, it is prerequisite with pain. The body is temporary, but the soul is forever, and death has carved into it with its freezing green hands and left him with never-ending heartache. It has torn from him and stolen what of him it could, and in return it’s left him with sorrow. 

His pain is his grief, and he’s sobbed in the safety of his room more times than he can count. It’s still as fresh as the day he heard the news of Jason’s death. He knows, instinctively, that it will stay fresh forever. 

In his room, Danny shoves his hands over his mouth and shrieks in whatever, muffled way he can into his pillow. It’s not enough. It’s never enough. He needs to be louder. He needs to be heard. He refuses to be. 

Being dead hurts. 

#tw mild gore #cw mild blood #cw mentioned violence #dpxdc #dp x dc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dpxdc crossover #dpdc #dp x dc crossover #dead on main #dp x dc au #dp x dc fanfic #cfau #cfau danny #obsessed with the fact that danny just has the WORST fucking time after jason dies and baby i can make it worse #*kills you and makes you a banshee and puts you in an irrevocable state of grief* #delicious angst. danny is having the wORSt time ever lol. lmao even #was originally meant to explore the idea that danny can survive lethal injuries as phantom. which briefly got mentioned. #but i got away from myself. leaning reaaal heavy into the fact that danny's a banshee. At 19 he's got a pretty good handle of himself #but imagine being a fresh out the gate banshee. usually they get time to themselves in the zone to cry until their heart's content. #sorry danny. you have school tomorrow and family sleeping in the bedroom next door #kinda proud of myself. you can kinda see how Rath would've occurred here. #danny is going through it rn #was gonna add a snippet about the city's thoughts on phantom but couldnt fit it in

[tragedy-for-sale]

Just thinking about how Umbara, Kadavo, the Rako Hardeen arc and Maul's returns are all back to back chronologically too not just in release.

#the boys were going THROUGH it #Rex gets through Umbara and Kadavo and he starts to feel okay again and then Obi-Wan Kenobi dies #Rex doesn't know how to handle all the grief #not just Ahsoka and Anakin #but Cody too #Rex had never seen Cody cry and now he's scared his brother won't recover #this period was the lowest time of their lives #at the height of war #star wars #clone wars #captain rex #commander cody #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #ahsoka tano #the clone wars #umbara arc #rako hardeen #kadavo #darth maul #thought of the day

[where-dreams-dwell]

Dexter is a cautionary tale of the need to accept discomfort as a part of life, with Emma as his contrast and aspirational example.

Throughout the show Emma embodies determination and self assurance. The only reason she thinks she can change the world is.. because why couldn’t she? In contrast Dexter has no idea what he wants and kind of resents having to even think about it, hence his jumping between careers and looking for purpose for the whole show.

While Em knows what she wants emotionally (the satisfaction or having made a difference, the achievement of doing what she always wanted) but isn’t sure on the specifics of what that will look like (I’ll write plays, no write poetry, no I’ll teach, okay no I’ll write a book), Dexter knows the specifics (I’ll be rich and famous) but doesn’t know what he wants emotionally (‘what will that look like?’ ‘I don’t know’).

While Dex is always running from uncomfortable feelings Em faces then head on and comes out the other side, able to learn from them.

As Dex is travelling to put off making long term decisions, Em has taken the first opportunity to do what she wants: writing, be it books, poems or in this instance plays.

On holiday Dex can’t allow himself to admit that he fancy’s Em and to leave it at that, he has to run from the honesty and vulnerability of that moment by adding on ‘but I pretty much fancy everyone’. In doing this you could argue that he looses his chance with her for several years, where as Emma’s confidence could have resulted in them getting together much sooner.

Dex misses his mothers last birthday because he doesn’t want to face reality. Instead of reacting to the fear and anger and pain of her diagnosis by spending every moment he can with her, or sitting down to have heart to heart talks with her, or helping her out in any meaningful way Dex runs away and numbs himself with substances, and is passed out for the little time he is in her presence.

When he’s nervous people won’t (or already don’t) like him on TV he again turns to substances to numb his feelings, and (instead of taking Em’s advice to ignore them) looks for reassurance from hangers on who don’t actually know him that well. He can’t sit in that worry/fear/discomfort so he finds a way to stop feeling.

When Dex’s marriage falls apart we see him running away to Paris to visit Em. And sure there are ulterior motives here (his hope and assuming that this could be the start of their romantic relationship) but the writer shows him literally traveling away from the country where his failed marriage, child and previous life were as he is show to be angrily talking about his divorce. As an image it appears like he’s running away from the reality of the divorce or running to Em for a distraction. It definitely supports Ems assumptions that he’s not serious about a relationship with her; she’s seen this behaviour in Dex before.

It’s even funny how in small ways we don’t see him handle upsetting things until the very end. Talking about his first marriage and the production the day became? Dex admits he didn’t want to rock the boat so he didn’t fight anything/reject anything/ have much say at all in his wedding. Sylvie drops off Jasmine? Dex is still at the cafe so Em is the one managing slightly awkward small talk. Jasmine practising her violin? We get a brief moment with Dex too but mainly it’s Em sitting through the recitals. In that last episode when they’re struggling with fertility, Em is the one who sits down and talks out her anger and fear and worry, where as Dex (who probably knew what the root of it all was) was happy to leave her to process it how she need to and support her while she did. If she hadn’t brought it up he wouldn’t have said anything.

That’s not becisarily a bad thing (Dex could have known that Em needed to process it herself before talking to him) but it is interesting that the writers engineer Dex to avoid all these moments of emotional discomfort. It reinforces his characterisation of being avoidant when confronted with conflict.

In contrast we kind of constantly see Em having to face hard moments and working through them.

Don’t know what to do with your life? Move to London to try and aim to work in your dream field. London life and restaurant job not going the way you planned? Commit to Dex’s suggestion of teacher training. Time to confess a secret? Here’s a hugely personal one about my past feelings for you. Past crush admits he kind-if fancy’s you? Stick to being honest about your past feelings and don’t take the opening to downplay them. You feel shit about your life and your secret affair? Well let’s turn that into motivation to finally write that book.

Not happy with your long term partner? End the relationship.

Emma’s whole confrontation with Ian is a masterclass in facing difficult conversations and emotions, being vulnerable and open and honest about your feelings, and finding empathy for another outside your point of view. And look what she gains from facing that hard in comfortable conversation? Closure, and a kind of friendship, one that lasts even after she dies.

When Dex confessed that he hoped they would start a romantic relationship in Paris, Em sits him down and starts that hard conversation about how she doesn’t think that is 1) what he even wants and 2) would work between them. She doesn’t brush off of hide from the conversation. And then when she has more information and time to think she commits to Dex.

Even after they sleep together there’s a scene of Em laying the ground rules, making it clear to Dex what she will and won’t stand in this relationship. That’s an awkward conversation to have but Em doesn’t hesitate and makes sure he knows from the get go what she expects and deserves. The writers are constantly showing us ‘Em doesn’t run from uncomfortable feelings’.

And then the tragic twist of fate: Emma is gone and Dexter finally has to learn to live with emotional discomfort. He can’t keep running because there is no escaping this, not like he did with his mum. Like he says to Imaginary-Emma ‘why would time change anything’. He is going to feel like this forever, there is no escaping it. Finally he is learning to face it, manage it, and work through it.

Of course Emma is far more than a literally device and is her own layered and well established character. But in this regard for Dex it’s almost as if she’s the final lesson for him to work through to grow up enough so he can eventually choose to return to the place they met.

And it could even come across as a reward for him; in learning to live with those difficult emotions, his reward is being able to remember Emma fondly, and to return to the place they met to seek out those memories. The memories are bittersweet, but now he remembers Emma as she was and not how she never got to be.

Like his dad said, he is eventually able to ‘live [his] life as if she were still here’ but in order to do that he first had to accept that she was gone.

#spoilers #one day #one day netflix #dexter mayhew #emma morley #grief #emotional maturity #grief is love persevering #emotionally avoidant #I feel like he runs from pain #and doesn’t know how to handle it manage it #so he ignores it and runs from it #until the universe says ‘fuck you’ and makes it unavoidable #media analysis

[insertsomthinawesome]

@priellan COME GET THE BOY!!! ✨

Some different ideas for how that could go down >:D And me picking something personally self indulgent again asdlfjsdLJSDGLDSJG I wanna see him with a Tangled rapunzel length hair braid... it would be so pretty...

#Trigun Stampede #Trigun Stampede Spoilers #Vash the stampede #vash trigun stampede #Isa's fanart #InsertSomthinAwesome #Isa doobles requests #May2023 #priellan #I'm not tagging date asdlfJSDLKGJSDLGJKSDG #i sat down and went. I am not going to out myself as a Somnium files enjoyer through trigun fanart #SDFKJSDLKGJSDGLSD I NEED TO REBLOG SOMETHING FIRST xD #admittedly that would've been funny tho #THis was some good fun :D #Let me know if you need a version without spoilers because I understand he was kinda outta nowhere asdkfJSLDGJSDLGSD #boy needs something to keep all that hair out of his face good GRIEF #Uh xion don't read the tags past this point because I'm rambling about somnium files nonsense WHEEZE #friend 1 talking about date: I love how proud he looks like he did it himself #friend 2: the last one tho Date's been giving pointers I see #Guys my friends are making Date out to be dadding Vash and I can't handle the wholesomeness of that thought #(he would tho) #Lore: Meryl did the third one WHEEZE #the mid head high tail #she did her best. but bless her she also has short hair and no idea how to manage it

[cult-of-the-eye]

Ok listen, Gwen being killed off would be interesting because the rest of the OIAR would have to grapple with the grief and the underlying feeling of suspicion in the way she died. Like she'd be a warning that would be ignored and I think it would switch up the dynamics in a really cool way.

#alice would be wildly conflicted with grief and probably unable to handle it #sam has probably dealt with grief before so is a bit calmer #but also conflicted cause he didnt know her for that long #celia has no fucking idea how to act cause everyones suddenly changed demeanor and she didnt even know gwen #so like if she acts sad they'll think its not genuine #but itll be weird if she acts like everythings normal as well #lena would be like offering alice a mental health leave which she would firmly deny #colin would probably spiral deeper into his madness #but maybe also get closer to sam in the process #while this splits sam and alice #cause Sam's going deeper down the rabbit hole #and alice is intent in burying her head in the sand #tmagp #the magnus protocol #tmagp theories #gwen bouchard #alice dyer #sam khalid #lena kelley #celia ripley #colin becher

[chepib3]

"bruce stopped dick from being a murderer!" so close it was the other way around

#stop making everything revolve around bruce im begging you #acting like dick was a feral child for wishing death on his parents' murderer 🤦🤦 #he was EIGHT do you think he had any idea how to handle grief #robin #dick grayson #batman #bruce wayne

[metrixnos]

I did enjoy my stay, techno. I did.

#so #the killers enterlude exitlude huh? #god. #sometimes i hate being in that subredit #or a technoblade fanartist #because unprocessed grief gets brought up some times #and i never know how to handle it other than ignore it #but at the same time #its nice to know more about him #know he loved us too #i guess #dsmp #technoblade

[wikipedie]

The train is late and your family is dead

I think grief is like a really ugly couch. It never goes away. You can decorate around it; you can slap a doily on top of it; you can push it to the corner of the room—but eventually, you learn to live with it. ― Jodi Picoult, Leaving Time

Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking | The Mentalist season 1, episode 7: Seeing Red | Linda Pastan, The Five Stages of Grief | The Mentalist season 2, episode 23: Red Sky in the Morning | teashoesandhair, grief | The Mentalist season 1, episode 5: Redwood | Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events (for Beatrice) | The Mentalist season 4, episode 23: Red Rover, Red Rover | The Mentalist season 5, episode 2: Devil's Cherry | Anne Carson, Glass, irony and god | Jamie Anderson | Anne Carson, Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides | The Mentalist season 7, episode 13: White Orchids | Glennon Doyle Melton, Love Warrior

#the mentalist #web weaving #grief #patrick jane #quotes #compilations #yes i am slightly obsessed with talking about the grief and trauma of the characters #s1e7 #e2e23 #e1e5 #s4e23 #s5e2 #s7e13 #i really like how they handled his trauma and grief at the beginning of the show #and i am a bit sad and wished they did it a bit more at the end as well #but still. #love me a haunted man #i would have loved to add 'you say i killed you! haunt me then!' except i don't think he'd be mad at angela and charlotte #he thinks he killed them tho and he wished to be haunted by them #i also wish i didn't hit my 30 images limit so that i could've added the couch as well; #he finds the couch right as he's reading the Red John case #grief as a manifestation of that couch...

[quinneleanor]

Lately I've been contemplating the vast differences Sam and Dean display when one brother loses the other.

When Sam was murdered in AHBL, Dean crash dives into suicidal ideation. Bobby tells him, "Something big is going down. End-of-the-world big." And Dean snaps, "Then let it end." When faced with Sam lying dead and ice cold in that cot, Dean would more likely lie down and curl around Sam's corpse and starve to death than live without him. I believe Dean would have done it, too, if he hadn't struck up that deal with the crossroads demon.

On the other hand, Sam goes into serial killer mode. When he lost Dean the final time in "Mystery Spot" Sam metaphorically died with his brother. Sam's transformation is unsettling; he's stripped away the blood and bones of humanity, leaving a feral, blood-thirsty super solider behind.

The idea is so interesting to me. It's been said before, but it's true: when faced with the loss of his brother, Dean becomes suicidal while Sam becomes a straight up serial killer.

#Supernatural thoughts #Supernatural #samdean #wincest #sam winchester #dean winchester #How the brothers handle grief #Sam's rage #Dean's suicidal ideation #sam and dean

[librarygf]

the interview as a confessional. hm

#interview with the vampire #tw suicide #m #it's like why are you returning to this story now what is different what are you gonna say #sorry to episode 5 but i'm still so compelled by it. where are we going with this? #are we talking about abuse? complexity? love? forgiveness? responsibility? grief? #idk and i don't know if they'll handle it right but i'm still listening #but i need to know NOW like how do i respond to this episode i just can't tell

[johns-prince]

Now and Then (the demo and this completed version by Paul) falls in perfectly with the group of songs like Dear Friend, Jealous Guy, [Just Like] Starting Over, and most definitely Here Today, that I can only listen to every once in awhile blue moon, because if I'm not careful playing these songs on repeat, one after the other, I could spiral into a sad ball of grief and palpable secondhand regret and longing from these two fools

#mclennon #these songs are so potent with how John and Paul felt for each other it's like handling radioactive letters of yearning love grief regret

[hotdogmchiggin]

King and Eda are fucking pissed.

Both of their reactions throughout this whole scene in Watching and Dreaming fucking destroyed me man. Their complete, wordless shock followed by unbridled grief-stricken rage just…. hit hard. Havent really seen art for this moment so wanted to take a crack at it.

Also since I’ve been experimenting more with procreate, I learned that it automatically saves a TIMELAPSE. So now YOU TOO! Can see my abysmal drawing process. I’ll either add that in a reblog or in a new post, so just keep an eye out if you’re interested in seeing that I guess.

Anyway tumblr’s gonna fuck up the quality so I’m putting CLOSEUPS under the cut.

#tried to post this with the timelapse attached before but i think she was too LARGE and it got mad #SO! I will post it in a reblog or something #or a new post?? i dont know whats better #anyway AUAIAGAOAIAUAHAHAOUAGAGAH I LOVE GRIEF FUELED RAGE AND INTENSE EMOTIONS #and i love trying to figure out how to properly CONVEY the INTENSITY of those emotions in my art #so HOPEFULLY! I succeeded here lol #i sorta wish that king and eda had more time in the episode to go completely apeshit and attack belos #but i understand the writers probably had to be super tight with how they handled time so I cant be too mad about it #FUCK DISNEY FOR REDUCING THE SHOWS LENGTH EDA AND KING DESERVED TO BEAT BELOS TO DEATH FOR 10 MINUTES #anyway I should. probably stop ranting in the tags #the owl house #toh #eda clawthorne #king clawthorne #watching and dreaming #toh season 3 #toh spoilers #myart #toh fanart

[saphushia]

I would pay so much money to Oda just to know where the remnants of the Spade Pirates are. We know they integrated into the Whitebeards, so they were there at Marineford and possibly at the Grudge War afterwards too. So if so….then where are they!?! 😭😭

Are they alive? Have they met Luffy? Do they want to? What about Deuce? 🤔

REAL. deuce has made a couple brief anime appearances but they seem to all be flashbacks... after the whitebeards dissolve i could see skull going back to his informant gig solo, maybe mihal settles down to teach kids full time without the pirating stuff, but deuce... with how the manga ended i want soooo badly for him to show up again

i need him to meet luffy so fucking bad. AND I ACTUALLY ONLY JUST NOW NOTICED THIS BUT. HOW DOES HE KNOW ABOUT SABO??? he specifically mentions the revs chief of staff what is up with that!!! i need deuce to reappear soooo fucking bad

#i suppose it's possible the ending bit takes place a fair bit after ace's death and sabo's already met luffy #but i want to knowwww #i am so ill abt sabo deuce parallels #if i was smarter i wouild write one billion word essay on how they handle their grief over ace differently #but it will simply continue to exist as vague vibes inside my brain #talking #one piece #answers #anonymous

[starheirxero]

Wouldn't it be fucked up if Bloodmoon resorted to trying to alter how Jack works and acts in some feeble hope that he will get a result closer to his twin. hoping that he can live in denial a little longer by changing his speech patterns, his personality, his movements, anything that makes him seem closer to what's been lost. yk?

#xero says things #and wouldn't it be worse if he never got it #jack is still always jack at the end of the day. and bloodmoon doesn't know how to grieve #he doesn't know how to handle anything other than bloodlust. so when he feels a deep aching grief in his entire body as he looks at who- #-jack is supposed to replace. #he does what he does best. and he is alone again. #sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #sams jack #sams bloodmoon #sams spoilers #tsams spoilers #angst

[sunmoontruth-stiles]

I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.

#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her #and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura #he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life #deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was #he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means. #when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial. #the best he can do at least #he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times. #often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship #but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost. #22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way #Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless #he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it #she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes. #he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone #he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home. #can’t bare to see another shell of a home #he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes #Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon #but promises feel costly these days #he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura #someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here #his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long. #Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place. #clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them #but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here #he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention #he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves. #he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods #he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.