#grief is love persevering

[where-dreams-dwell]

Dexter is a cautionary tale of the need to accept discomfort as a part of life, with Emma as his contrast and aspirational example.

Throughout the show Emma embodies determination and self assurance. The only reason she thinks she can change the world is.. because why couldn’t she? In contrast Dexter has no idea what he wants and kind of resents having to even think about it, hence his jumping between careers and looking for purpose for the whole show.

While Em knows what she wants emotionally (the satisfaction or having made a difference, the achievement of doing what she always wanted) but isn’t sure on the specifics of what that will look like (I’ll write plays, no write poetry, no I’ll teach, okay no I’ll write a book), Dexter knows the specifics (I’ll be rich and famous) but doesn’t know what he wants emotionally (‘what will that look like?’ ‘I don’t know’).

While Dex is always running from uncomfortable feelings Em faces then head on and comes out the other side, able to learn from them.

As Dex is travelling to put off making long term decisions, Em has taken the first opportunity to do what she wants: writing, be it books, poems or in this instance plays.

On holiday Dex can’t allow himself to admit that he fancy’s Em and to leave it at that, he has to run from the honesty and vulnerability of that moment by adding on ‘but I pretty much fancy everyone’. In doing this you could argue that he looses his chance with her for several years, where as Emma’s confidence could have resulted in them getting together much sooner.

Dex misses his mothers last birthday because he doesn’t want to face reality. Instead of reacting to the fear and anger and pain of her diagnosis by spending every moment he can with her, or sitting down to have heart to heart talks with her, or helping her out in any meaningful way Dex runs away and numbs himself with substances, and is passed out for the little time he is in her presence.

When he’s nervous people won’t (or already don’t) like him on TV he again turns to substances to numb his feelings, and (instead of taking Em’s advice to ignore them) looks for reassurance from hangers on who don’t actually know him that well. He can’t sit in that worry/fear/discomfort so he finds a way to stop feeling.

When Dex’s marriage falls apart we see him running away to Paris to visit Em. And sure there are ulterior motives here (his hope and assuming that this could be the start of their romantic relationship) but the writer shows him literally traveling away from the country where his failed marriage, child and previous life were as he is show to be angrily talking about his divorce. As an image it appears like he’s running away from the reality of the divorce or running to Em for a distraction. It definitely supports Ems assumptions that he’s not serious about a relationship with her; she’s seen this behaviour in Dex before.

It’s even funny how in small ways we don’t see him handle upsetting things until the very end. Talking about his first marriage and the production the day became? Dex admits he didn’t want to rock the boat so he didn’t fight anything/reject anything/ have much say at all in his wedding. Sylvie drops off Jasmine? Dex is still at the cafe so Em is the one managing slightly awkward small talk. Jasmine practising her violin? We get a brief moment with Dex too but mainly it’s Em sitting through the recitals. In that last episode when they’re struggling with fertility, Em is the one who sits down and talks out her anger and fear and worry, where as Dex (who probably knew what the root of it all was) was happy to leave her to process it how she need to and support her while she did. If she hadn’t brought it up he wouldn’t have said anything.

That’s not becisarily a bad thing (Dex could have known that Em needed to process it herself before talking to him) but it is interesting that the writers engineer Dex to avoid all these moments of emotional discomfort. It reinforces his characterisation of being avoidant when confronted with conflict.

In contrast we kind of constantly see Em having to face hard moments and working through them.

Don’t know what to do with your life? Move to London to try and aim to work in your dream field. London life and restaurant job not going the way you planned? Commit to Dex’s suggestion of teacher training. Time to confess a secret? Here’s a hugely personal one about my past feelings for you. Past crush admits he kind-if fancy’s you? Stick to being honest about your past feelings and don’t take the opening to downplay them. You feel shit about your life and your secret affair? Well let’s turn that into motivation to finally write that book.

Not happy with your long term partner? End the relationship.

Emma’s whole confrontation with Ian is a masterclass in facing difficult conversations and emotions, being vulnerable and open and honest about your feelings, and finding empathy for another outside your point of view. And look what she gains from facing that hard in comfortable conversation? Closure, and a kind of friendship, one that lasts even after she dies.

When Dex confessed that he hoped they would start a romantic relationship in Paris, Em sits him down and starts that hard conversation about how she doesn’t think that is 1) what he even wants and 2) would work between them. She doesn’t brush off of hide from the conversation. And then when she has more information and time to think she commits to Dex.

Even after they sleep together there’s a scene of Em laying the ground rules, making it clear to Dex what she will and won’t stand in this relationship. That’s an awkward conversation to have but Em doesn’t hesitate and makes sure he knows from the get go what she expects and deserves. The writers are constantly showing us ‘Em doesn’t run from uncomfortable feelings’.

And then the tragic twist of fate: Emma is gone and Dexter finally has to learn to live with emotional discomfort. He can’t keep running because there is no escaping this, not like he did with his mum. Like he says to Imaginary-Emma ‘why would time change anything’. He is going to feel like this forever, there is no escaping it. Finally he is learning to face it, manage it, and work through it.

Of course Emma is far more than a literally device and is her own layered and well established character. But in this regard for Dex it’s almost as if she’s the final lesson for him to work through to grow up enough so he can eventually choose to return to the place they met.

And it could even come across as a reward for him; in learning to live with those difficult emotions, his reward is being able to remember Emma fondly, and to return to the place they met to seek out those memories. The memories are bittersweet, but now he remembers Emma as she was and not how she never got to be.

Like his dad said, he is eventually able to ‘live [his] life as if she were still here’ but in order to do that he first had to accept that she was gone.

#spoilers #one day #one day netflix #dexter mayhew #emma morley #grief #emotional maturity #grief is love persevering #emotionally avoidant #I feel like he runs from pain #and doesn’t know how to handle it manage it #so he ignores it and runs from it #until the universe says ‘fuck you’ and makes it unavoidable #media analysis

[bespectacledbookworm]

I still can't believe that the rawest line about grief ( that I personally and intensely align with) came from Disney's Marvel's WandaVision, from a robot to a witch.

#the one about #grief is love persevering #i remember how my dad and I were at a funeral and the pastor quoted it #and my Dad touched my elbow #because we had both watched the show and thought it was funny #i really wanted to buy another mourning piece to put my fathers hair in #but the jewelr i like only does pieces in gold and its so expensive now #im starting to think this silly quote would be perfect #a show about grief #and he really did love marvel movies

[amariram]

“stay with me”

#merlin #merthur #bbc merlin #merlin fandom #arthur pendragon #bradley james #colin morgan #5x13 #merlin 5x13 #the once and future fandom #vision #marvel #grief #love persevering

[killsandthrills]

“i won't have peace. i'll be worried about you all the time.”

“that's just love. nothing you can do about that.”

another fantastic quote for the books, y’all

#😭😭😭 #maarva andor #cassian andor #andor #andor spoilers #star wars #echoes of ‘what is grief if not love persevering’

[urgentkettle]

#pets #pet grief #tw animal death #animal death #grief #pets are family #i am still grieving the death of my dogs #I don’t think I will ever get over them #because i will love them forever #what is grief if not love persevering

[blackthornish]

a whole phase dealing with the mourning of the characters of the post-endgame mcu and like it or not, our mourning. sincerely? very beautiful if you stop to think about it.

like wanda with vision and her kids.

clint and yelena with natasha.

sam and bucky with steve.

peter and happy with tony. and then peter with everyone else.

we can even consider the losses the eternals face, as well as shang-chi and his family.

losses on top of losses.

AND END IT WITH WAKANDA FOREVER... really something. cuz we really lost chadwick. 💔

#marvel #marvel studios #marvel films #mcu #ucm #wanda #what is grief if not love persevering #peter parker #marvel phase four #marvel phase 4 #black panther #wakanda forever #chadwick boseman

[star-girlfriend]

Can grief be beautiful? Should it?

mitski francis forever // shannon barry (barry_happy on instagram) // sylvia plath the unabridged journals of sylvia plath // ocean vuong // unknown (pinterest) // @ryebreadgf on tumblr // brenna twohy zig-zag girl

#grief #webweaving #poetry #words #art #parallels #text #tiktok #web weaving #girlhood #grief/mourning #grief poetry #loss #mourning #beauty #love #love and loss #what is grief if not love persevering

[ihavedeclaredwaronthemoonxx]

what is

if not

persevering

#nandor x guillermo #nandor the relentless #guillermo de la cruz #heartstopper #nick nelson #charlie spring #nick x charlie #nandermo #merlin #bbc merlin #merthur #merlin x arthur #arthur pendragon #what is grief if not love persevering #what we do in the shadows #wwdits

[kerryweaverlesbian]

Claire gives Cas a haircut. It's fraught. This is a love that lasts forever. Here's the opening:

The room's tense. Most rooms with Claire in them end up being tense, Cas has found, although it may be the combination of he and Claire together that makes things this way. The only time he's heard her laugh - really laugh, not just an emphasised exhale - she had been three rooms away at Jody's house, before she knew Cas had come over. She makes him call ahead, now, so he hasn't heared it since. 

There are memories, of course: the giggly little girl on the merry go round; the 11 year old pulling faces through the rearview mirror together until she couldn't keep it together from smiling too hard; the baby who opened her eyes from a nap and started laughing with delight just to see his face. But, those memories don't belong to Castiel. They're Jimmy's. To take courage or comfort from them would be a clear and cruel violation. 

Claire in the present works on her denim jacket silently, repairing a tear from the wolf-man they'd hunted earlier with a thick, black thread. Her jacket is heavily patched, some repairs just thread and others covered over with logos and images. Cas had thought he recognised AC/DC in the mix, but when he'd pointed it out that morning Claire had just scoffed and rolled her eyes, so maybe he's wrong. 

The way she sews is harsh, tugging the needle through the same way she pulled her knife out of the wolf-man's body. Cas has seen her do it gently before - stitching up a wound on Alex with precision and care even as they bickered viciously about who's fault it was that they'd got caught in the first place, and when applying a patch that Donna had got her that said "MAMA'S LITTLE BEAR <3" on it. Right now, though, she's mad. She has every right to be. 

Read on ao3

#claire novak #castiel supernatural #cas and claire #fathers / #claire's grief #every time I reread this to edit it I DID start crying #i love my dad 😭😭😭 #i wrote a different short story about hair-care which was about loving my mum lol #autistic castiel #not to quote the mcu of all things but literally what is grief if not love persevering. #cawis creates #suptober23 #close shave

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i love dead characters. i love characters who were always dead, who die halfway through, who die in the end - characters who die and come back but in a way they're still dead bc their first life died with them & nothing will ever be the same & their coming back is a bandaid over a gaping wound & their own death haunts them-

#characters whose deaths haunts the narrative and the other characters #almost to the point where it feels like theyre still there #characters who continue to haunt everyone even After they come back #CHARACTER DEATH <3 #when done Correctly its sooooooo good its literally the best i love it when characters die Well #when you rewatch/reread and Notice that they were doomed from the start. they were always going to die #AGH AGH AGH AGH #im going to be honest my Favorite trope is characters who die and come back #bc - again - when done well its SO!!! FUCKING!! GOOD!!! #maybe they come back the same but no one else is and That changes them too #or they come back Different and it just makes them haunt the narrative / other characters More Intensely #anyway their resurrection just makes it hurt worse bc theyre Back but now everyone knows what its like to live without them #and they will forever be haunted by that Knowing. and understanding that they could lose them again so so easily #the terror! the dread! the persevering grief!! looking at someone wholly alive and seeing a ghost! seeing everything thats Not There! #ohhhh also shoutout to characters who die without Actually dying #they never lose their life but who they are Changes So Suddenly that its like they died. the person they were died #and someone else kept breathing #slamming my face into a waaaaallllllllll #death in fiction death in fiction DEATH IN FICTION!!!! #oh also shoutout to characters who die without dying and then Actually die and both haunt everything #prime example: anakin motherfucking skywalker. KING of haunting the narrative #absolutely unprompted #what has me thinking about this? well im always thinking about it BUT #ahsoka episode 5. my own characters. potentially welcome home (we'll see we'll see...) #character death my beloved <3 #there are so many ways to do it and do it Well <3 #and it kills me inside that 'killing for shock value' and 'character dies and everyone moves on' are so common #its so lame! and annoying!!! like cmon!!! get a grip! #we need CONSEQUENCES we deserve FORESHADOWING #we need their death to haunt the narrative so hard that rereading/rewatching is one big reminder that They Will Die!!!

[high-warlock-of-brooklyn]

Poetic screenshot

#what is grief if not love persevering #destiel #casdean #castiel #dean winchester #jace.txt

[assassyart]

control your heart.

#mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #katsuki bakugou #kacchan #izuku midoriya #deku #bakudeku #bkdk #katsudeku #what is grief if not love persevering? #assassys

[rotzaprachim]

this grief is so heavy.

#the world is full of grieving people. some of them are kind and some are unkind. all are grieving. i don't know what to do with this #with this political grief - #a grief used to kill more people remains a grief #love persevering. love persevering.

[twelvemonkeyswere]

it's been a while so I think I can finally say that "i don't know what to do with it, with all the love i have for her" was the original and much better written version of "what is grief if not love persevering"

#people went mad with 'grief is love persevering' but the IMPACT the narrative BLOW in 'i don't know what to do with it' #incomparable #fleabag was an incredible look at grief imo #show don't tell and all that #wendy watches #my thoughts this morning

[byler-alarmist]

Okay, I'm relatively new to the Yellowjackets fandom, so my apologies if this has been discussed at length. I noticed something very...weird.....about Jackie's diary on my S1 rewatch.

Spoilers after the cut:

So adult Shauna goes to have brunch with Jackie's parents in S1E5. She takes a walk into Jackie's old bedroom and sees a pink diary on the desk, opens it up, and reminisces about their childhood.

There is a MASH game they played as well as several lists of Jackie's favorite things.

The music top ten is very contemporary for 1995/1996, And it looks like a couple items were erased to make room for other choices (Celine Dion's "Because You Loved Me" was put back on there again after being erased).

The top ten movies are also contemporary for 1995/1996.

But then there is the "Movie Characters I Would Be" page....

Now if you'll notice, there are several movies on here that did not come out until after 1996.

Titanic, released in 1997.

Bring it On, released in 2000.

American Beauty, released in 1998.

10 Things I Hare About You, released 1999.

What is going on here? Did adult Shauna write these in herself during her many visits to the Taylors' house? Or is there some kind of supernatural shit or time fuckery going on?

This can't be a simple production error, right?

#have to compare to shauna's handwriting in her diaries #but yeah it's a weeeeeird choice to me #if it was just shauna grieving jackie ig that's to be expected #but man #jackieshauna #shaunajackie #what is grief if not love persevering #yellowjackets spoilers #yellowjackets theories #yellowjackets #jackie taylor #shauna shipman #shauna sadecki #yellowjackets meta

[sull3ngirll]

on grief

florence and the machine - my love / florist - M / mitski - francis forever / the silent voice (1898) - gerald moira / big thief - masterpiece / taylor swift - marjorie / phoebe bridgers - chinese satellite / mitski - once more to see you / taylor swift - bigger than the whole sky

#web weaving #webwave #quotes #dealing with grief #grief/mourning #what is grief if not love persevering #taylor swift #phoebe bridgers #mitski #florence welch #florence and the machine #florist #big thief #midnights