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#fuck knows it's understandable to be emotional. they were kids
misserabella · 2 days
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two geniuses (a vacancy gone wrong)
enemies to lovers;; spencer reid x fem reader!
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masterlist!
sypnosis;you get a couple of days off, so you decide to spend them on a california hotel. except things start to go wrong when you meet spencer there. and later on, when you find yourself with cuffs around your wrists. there might be a killer whose obsession revolves around you. and he seems to have focused on reid as well. heads will start to roll!
cw; +18 content! minors dni!, talk of murder, graphic scenes, weapons, blood, alcohol consumption, tension, lots of fighting and bickering, lots of tension, teasing, flirting, pool scene!!!!!, reader gets drunk and flirts with spencer, spencer gets jealous? over another guy, spencer is confused, sharing one bed!!, murder of a secondary character, stalking, towards reader, secret murder admirer obsessed with reader… angst, fluff and smut in upcoming chapters!!!
you took a deep breath, a smile making your soft lips curl as the salty air hit your skin along with the warmth of california.
hotch had given you and the team a couple of days to relax. the last couple of weeks had been very intense with cases and lots of jet flights. all of you deserved a little time to wind down.
and so you’d chosen to gift yourself a four day vacancy on a 5 star beach hotel.
you were enjoying the feeling of the sun tanning your skin, the company of a good book and the cold comforting feeling of a margarita going down your throat when you crashed against something solid, your liquor splashing itself down your chest, making your exposed —claded in bikini— skin sticky.
but that wasn’t the worst of the situation. it was who you’d crashed against.
“you must be fucking kidding me…” you muttered to yourself. what the hell was he doing here?
he seemed as surprised and pleased to see you as you were to see him. your name fell from his lips in a breath.
“fuck.” you swore, trying to get the drink out of your skin. “there goes my fucking drink.” you sighed.
“nice to see you too.” he scoffed, trying to not look down at your exposed body.
you rolled your eyes. “what the hell are you doing here, reid? came to make my life a misery even on vacancy?”
“you wish. i’m actually here for my vacancy as well. just my luck to bump into you.” he explained, seeming as uncomfortable for having shared traveling destination with you as you were.
you sighed. “look. you don’t like me, i don’t like you. so let’s just… pretend we don’t know each other, hm?” you offered. “just want a couple of days away from everything i know.”
he nodded. “yeah, okay.” and just as he accepted, someone else came to find you.
“hey… is everything alright?” your eyes met matt, a guy you’d met on the pool of the hotel. spencer frowned at the unknown face, by the way he talked to you and touched your shoulder he seemed close. maybe a fling?
“yeah, sorry to keep you waiting, just… my drink.” you smiled at him, and something about it made spencer’s stomach churn. he’d never seen you smile. well, you’d never smiled at him like that. but he should understand that. your relationship wasn’t the best.
“oh. don’t worry, i’ll get you another one, hm?” he said, and you nodded. “you two know each other?” he inquired, and just as spencer was about to explain that you worked together you stepped in and shook your head.
“no. i’ve never seen him before.” the man nodded, and you took his hand. “let’s go.”
spencer watched you walk away with matt, his irritation growing stronger. he clenched his jaw so hard it aches, trying to compose himself. he couldn't understand why he was feeling this way, but he knew he had to get a hold of his emotions.
deep down, something screamed at him something that he already knew, but he dismissed it as simple hatred for your presence on his well needed vacation.
it seemed to be that his holiday wasn’t off to a great start.
-
he should be able to look away. but he couldn’t.
the hotel club was pretty full, but once spencer spotted you dancing with matt on the dance floor he couldn’t take his eyes away from you. he couldn’t help the sourness washing over him, his heart tightening at the sight of someone else making you laugh. his hazel eyes follow your every move, his attention completely focused on you. he tries to think of quantum theories, trying to lighten up his mood but it doesn’t help.
over the last few weeks he’d tried to stop thinking about that night with lila. he’d never thought that the sight of a gun pointing to your head would scared him so badly, but it had terrified him.
his head had flown towards you. there was no more lila. just you. he could still remember your pissed off face when the unsub had caught you. if only you knew the truth…
he watched as matt put his hands on your hips, and with a thick gulp, faced the bar, ordering a strong drink in an attempt to drown out his thoughts.
spencer can't help but watch you and Matt from his seat at the bar. he can see you drinking heavily, downing drink after drink as you dance your mind away. he worries about the amount of alcohol running through your veins, and in the back of his mind he tries to ignore the fact that this man could possibly be a killer.
although his worries disappear when matt gets a call.
he seems worried, and with a quick chat he leaves you. you seem disappointed, and made your way out of the club.
next time he sees you, it’s when he’s going back to his room. you’re in the pool, fully dressed, floating and looking at the starry sky. you look like a painting, and he doesn’t realize he had been staring until you notice him.
“reiiiiid” you sung out his name. “what are you doing here?” you giggled, looking at him through hooded eyes.
“i should be asking that question. are you drunk?” he inquired. he looked good. with a white sheer shirt —which sleeves were rolled up his arms—, short linen cream pants and a pair of brown shoes. his hair fell on soft curls around his face. you wondered if they’d feel as silky as your mind made you believe.
“maybe… why?” you turned around, water spilling down your chest.
“you know how easy it is to drown while intoxicated?” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “alcohol increases the risk of drowning by impairing judgement, reducing coordination, and delaying reaction time.”
“yeah, yeah… always the same genius, huh? you don’t know how to have fun!” you exclaimed, rolling your eyes.
“i know how to have fun.” he retorted, a soft frown tugging from his perfect brows. something inside you tugged in the need to smooth it out with your fingertips.
you hummed, ignoring his words. “get in.”
“what?” he incredulously spat.
“the water feels amazing, spencer, grab a suit and get in.” you repeated, and he shook his head, his tone changing.
“i’m not gonna grab a suit or get in.”
“but why? we’re on vacation! isn’t that what people on vacation are supposed to do?”
“yeah well i’d prefer it if you didn’t die, not want gideon or hotch coming down on me for it .” he muttered, to what you once again were rolled your eyes. “can you get out of the pool? please?”
you groaned. “fine…”
you got under the water once again, swimming your way towards the edge of the pool and the profiler, who expectantly waited for you.
“can you at least help me get out?” you asked, offering him your hand, he sighed, slightly scrouching down to take your hand, struggling when you didn’t seem to be helping him to get out of the pool, rather, you seemed to be pulling from him.
“what are you…?”he tried, but before he knew it, the cold water was engulfing him, soaking his clothes and body.
once his head breached the edge of the water he heard your laughter, his honey hair all over his face as he pushed it back with his hands.
“ha, ha. very funny. laugh it up, y/n.”
“oh my god, you should have seen your face!!” you chuckled, hugging your stomach due to how hard you were laughing.
“god, i would drown you…” he sent you daggers with his eyes, muttering under his breath curses as he looked at his state.
“woah spence, that’s a weird kink you’ve got. thought about talking it with a therapist?” you mocked him, using his own words to stab him.
he let out a single dry chuckle “you’re real funny tonight, huh?”
“i always am funny, you’re just too stuck up to notice.” you shrugged your shoulders, nearing him. your eyes on his exposed chest, now that the sheer shirt had almost become invisible due to the water. you’d never expected him to look like that… his chest was formed, with great wide muscular shoulders and defined abs…
“stuck up?” he scoffed.
“you don’t relax. ever.” you nodded. “you never enjoy yourself.” you looked up at him as you stood on the pool. suddenly, he seemed so tall…
“yeah?” he inquired, his eyes on yours, his muscles tensing when your hands fell on his shoulders.
“yeah…”you bit down on your bottom lip. “just look at you, so worried i might drown. you’re so cute.”
spencer is caught off guard by your sudden comment, his expression softening for a moment. he feels a flutter in his stomach, but he quickly tries to push it aside.
"excuse me? what did you just say?"
he can't help but be taken aback by your sudden flirtatiousness, his heart rate picking up slightly as he processes your words.
“i said… that you’re cute spencer. didn’t know you cared so much about me.” you chuckled, your arms surrounding his neck.
his eyes widen, feeling a mixture of surprise and something else he can't quite identify. he can feel your body press against his, and his mind starts to race with conflicting emotions.
you’re warm. so warm… and your skin is soft.
his heart is pounding as he stares at you, his mind struggling to process what's happening. After a few moments of silence, he finally speaks.
"of course I care... i wouldn’t want anything bad happening to you."
“you’re just worried about hotch and gideon being pissed if i died.” you tease and spencer can't help but chuckle at your comment, shaking his head slightly. he's surprised by how playful you're being in this situation, but at the same time he feels a warmth spreading through his chest as he hears your words.
"yeah, I have a feeling they wouldn't be thrilled if I had let anything happen to you." he says softly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
“hmm, your smile” you hum, looking at it.
he frowns, his lips tightening in a thin line.
"i didn't realize my smile was such a big deal," he says, a hint of a blush creeping up his cheeks.
“no, it’s just… i’ve never seen it before.” you mutter.
“i guess i don’t smile ever so often.”
“no. you don’t. you’re usually all frowns around me.” you chuckle.
“you and your awesome personality don’t help me smile.” you scoff.
“well it’s pretty…, your smile i mean.”
“you’re drunk.” he answers and you roll your eyes.
“i am. but i know a pretty boy when i see one, reid.”
spencer feels a heat rising to his cheeks as he hears your compliment. he's caught off guard by how casually you said it, like it's a simple fact. like statistics, like victimology. and it strikes him.
"you think I'm pretty?" he asks, his voice slightly teasing as he quirks an eyebrow.
you hum, pulling him closer and down into the now warm water.
“what are you doing?” he asks, frowning. confused. everything is confusing him.
“nothing…”your fingers dug on his wet locks, brushing them away from his face, his puppy hazel eyes digging into yours.
“you’re definitely doing something.” he whispered, trying his best to not let show the shiver that went down his spine when your nails scratched his nape.
“want me to stop?” you breathed out, almost choking when his hands held you by your waist, his fingers digging on your hips.
no.
spencer's heart races as he hears your question. he knows he should say yes, that he should step away and put some distance between you.
but instead he find himself leaning into your touch, his eyes locked onto yours. he feels like he’s the intoxicated one. like he’s drunk off of his mind. ‘cause somehow, this close distance with you doesn’t feel bad. quite the opposite. he likes it. and that scared him to death.
his voice a low, husky murmur. “we should get you to bed.” he advised, to what you smiled, falling into his chest.
“i’m not tired.” you breathed onto his neck, making his skin grow on goosebumps.
“god you’re absolutely gone, aren’t you? you’re gonna hate me so bad tomorrow…”
“probably…” you snickered.
you stare up at him, one of your hands on his chest as his hazel eyes shifting from your eyes to your lips. you bit down on your bottom one the moment your own eyes fell to his mouth, the image of lila kissing him weeks ago replaying in your mind. you wondered how it would feel like, how his lips would feel like, would they be soft? would they feel as plush as they look? how would he kiss you? would he be sweet? would he be rough and mean?
the two of you seemed to near the other, got closer, like two magnets being pulled to each other.
your breaths mingled, and his hold on your waist tightened. “we shouldn’t.” he muttered, his eyes slightly fluttering at the scratching on his scalp.
“why?” you inquired, tilting your head to the side to get closer. he seemed to be fighting with himself. internally. to push you away? to not devour you?
but deep inside, spencer knew the truth. he knew the reason for his hatred towards you. the murdering need to keep away from you, when all his body begged for was to keep you close. he wasn’t ready to accept it yet, though. he wasn’t ready to let himself know that he wanted you. and so he denied himself of the pleasure that would be holding you closer.
“‘cause you hate me, and you’re drunk. you probably won’t remember a thing tomorrow.” he explained. always the gentleman…
“does that mean you would kiss if i weren’t drunk?” you inquired him, catching the moment his breath hitched. his mouth fell open, unable to form words, and you smiled. devilishly. he should have seen it coming, but he was so entranced that by the time he had caught on you were already drowning him.
“got you!” you laughed, seeing the pissed of expression he sent you. he was seething. “god reid, didn’t know you had the hots for me!” you teasingly pinched him to what he groaned, taking you by your hips and getting you on his shoulder as if you weighted nothing, making you shriek as he walked towards the stairs out of the pool. he was gonna carry you to your room if he needed to.
“you’re getting in bed, now.” he spat, to what you couldn’t help but tease him one more time with a…
“in yours?”
-
“fuck! come on!” you cursed as the door locked you out once again. “it’s not fucking working!” you’ve been trying to get into your room for the last 5 minutes. it wasn’t working.
“here, let me try.” spencer offered you his hand, and you handed him your card, only for his try to be negated again. “there must be some kind of problem with the key.”
“i’ll guess i’ll have to go to reception and get it fixed.” you slurred, taking the key.
“that’s not gonna happen. it’s closed.” spencer sighed, to what you frowned.
“closed? why?”
“some technical problems with the computers, didn’t you see the sign this afternoon after lunch?” you groaned.
“and what am i supposed to do now? sleep on the corridor?” silence filled the space you two
share, until spencer’s lips parted.
“you could stay in my room.” he said. “i mean it’s only a few doors down. tomorrow morning you could get your key fixed. and i could lend you some clothes to change to, since you know, yours are soaked…” he started to ramble.
“share room with you? thought you would rather die.” he rolled his eyes.
“i mean it’s not exactly my dream, but i can’t leave you here all alone.” you cooed.
“what a gentleman. who knew you’d have it in you, huh?” he scoffed.
“i’m not doing it for you, i’m doing it for
gideon.” you hummed, watching him take out his key and start walking towards his door, guiding you and opening it for you.
his room was the same as yours; small, one bed, one bathroom. you hadn’t thought about the fact that you would have to share a bed with him. you smirked, wanting to tease him further. get on his nerves.
“you sure it’s not cause you want me in your bed, reid?” you laughed, and he looked at you.
“you get drunk and your IQ lowers, huh?” he retorted, grabbing a pair of new and untouched boxers, shorts and a shirt for you to change onto.
“i’m smarter than you.” you scoffed, legs wobbly.
he hummed, giving you the clothes. “here. change into this, i’ll put your wet clothes out to
dry so tomorrow- woah! what are you doing?!” he quickly covered his eyes, looking away as you started to pull from your tank top, getting rid of it. you looked at him as if he were dumb.
“changing?” he heard you unbuckling your shorts.
“well, there’s the bathroom for that!” he panicked, his cheeks warming up when he caught a glance at the exposed skin of your stomach and cleavage.
“you think i can make it there without falling? you have high hopes for me.” you slurred, laughing.
“god.” he quickly got a change of clothes and left for the restroom, his cheeks crimson red and his breathing heavy. it was easy to hate you, easier than actually thinking about what you really got out of him. how close you two stood in the pool, the look in your eyes, your teasing, your undressing… “get a hold of yourself, reid.”
remember. she’s a pain in the ass. she drives you crazy.
she drives you crazy, she drives you crazy, she drives you crazy…
once changed in his pajamas, he came out, finding you already changed and sitting on his bed.
“i already put the clothes to dry.” you muttered and he nodded.
he silently stared at you, at your still damp hair, clear skin, beautiful eyes… at your body clad in his clothes, at how big his white button shirt was on you, how it reached your thighs, how…
“aren’t you gonna get in?” you ask him, snapping him out of his mind. it wasn’t as if he was engraving the image into his eidetic memory…
“oh, yeah.” he quickly moved, surrounding the bed to get on the other side as you ruffled with the sheets, covering your exposed legs.
the two of you laid there in complete silence. he had his hands on his stomach. he laid like a mummy, what made you chuckle.
“well this is absolutely not awkward.” you muttered and he sighed.
“well excuse me for not being thrilled for having you in my bed.” you chuckled. “you’re not exactly my dream roommate.”
“you wish i were.” you retorted and he scoffed.
“oh yeah, totally. you caught me.” he sarcastically said and you laughed. “anyways, shouldn’t you be sleeping? by the time of alcohol you’ve ingested you should be passed out cold.”
“you underestimate me, reid.”
“i’ve noticed…” he muttered.
“i’ll let you sleep now, i know geniuses need their sleep hours to function properly. or at least men, but even with that they seem to
not really achieve it.” he chuckled.
“thanks?”
“you’re welcome, agent.”
“it’s doctor.” he corrected and you rolled your eyes, moving onto your side to give him your back.
“whatever. later.” you said your good nights and he hummed, moving just like you and closing his eyes.
ten minutes later the two of you were passed out.
-
it’s the next morning and your head is pounding as you wake up. reid is already up, reading on the room’s desk. of course. very of him.
memories or last night fill your mind and you curse. what the hell were you thinking? maybe you weren’t. you were drunk. that had to be it.
“well if it isn’t the sleeping beast.” he says and you groan, taking your temples.
“isn’t it supposed to be the sleeping beauty?” you inquire.
“i said what i said.” you roll your eyes. of course. “nice hangover right?”
“yeah and your voice surely doesn’t make it any better.” he chuckles, his eyes still on the pages.
“your clothes are dry, left them on the bed.” he announced, and that’s when you see them. you took them, muttering a ‘thanks’ before going to the bathroom and change in between curses and groans that only seemed to amuse more the genius on the other part of the room.
“not funny!” you tell when you can practically hear his smile.
“it actually is. funnier than actually seeing you drown yesterday.” you roll your eyes, opening the door of his room to leave. he quickly stands, following you. “where are you going?”
you groan, your head hurting so bad it was almost like a migraine.
“why do you care?”
“well actually, hotch called and he told me to…” his words died in his mouth when the two of you came face to face with police officers.
“y/n y/l/n?” one of them inquired and you nodded, frowning when one of them harshly manhandled you and pushed you against the wall.
“hey! what the fuck? what are you doing?!” you tried to fought, but he was handcuffing you as the other agent recited your rights.
“you’re under custody for the murder of matthew jackson.”
“reid?” i looked at him with panic in my eyes. he was in shock.
“no, you must have it wrong. we’re fbi agents.” he tried to stop them but they were taking you away.
“yeah, and i’m mary poppins.” the agent scoffed.
“reid!” i yelled for him as they pulled you away.
“i’ll talk to hotch! i’ll find you!” he promised, and you only hoped he would keep it.
“i’m not talking until my teams gets here. deal with it.”
“we’ve already called them, they are on their way.”the officer disregarded your comment.
“only part of the body was found. now tell me.” the interrogator stared you down. “where’s. the. head.” you groaned.
“oh, i don’t know! i must have dropped it on my way here, come on!” you sarcastically said. he slammed his hands on the table to which you were cuffed up.
“where’s the head!?”
you slammed your hands back. “if you don’t shut up your head will be rolling next!!” you yelled back. you were irritated. your head was pounding, and now you were cuffed being interrogated for a crime you had not committed first thing in the morning! you hadn’t even had your coffee for gods sake. he gave you a glare. “look. i didn’t do shit. i’m not the killer.”
“we found the body in your room.”
“i wasn’t in my room yesterday. i left it at 6pm and spent the night out.”
“lies!”
“actually, it’s the truth.” your eyes met those hazel ones as spencer made his way into the interrogation room, being followed by hotch.
“doctor reid and agent hotchner. fbi.” they showed their badges. “you’re interrogating one of the members of my team about a crime she has no matter in.” you sighed in relief when you saw them, spencer making quick work of taking off his suit’s jacket to give it to you, since your tank top exposed you.
something about it made you feel calmer, safer. also surprised you. he wasn’t kind to you, at least not if that meant nothing in return. maybe last night events had changed something.
“if she doesn’t have an alibi i’m on the right to keep her here as long as i see fit.” the officer challenged the brunette man.
“she has an alibi. i can prove she wasn’t in his room on the time of the death.” reid said and the officer looked at him.
“oh yeah?”
“yeah. i can, because she spent the night with me…in my room.”
silence fell into the room, and you coughed, clearing your throat.
“now. will you release my agent?” hotch recomposed himself and the officer sighed shaking his head and taking the keys to your handcuffs out.
once released you got up from your seat, putting on spencer’s jacket to cover your semi-exposed chest. your holiday clothes were not the best to work on the field, even less to get arrested on.
“you okay?” hotch checked up on you, and you nodded, massaging your temple.
“yeah, besides the fact that if had you hadn’t shown up now we would have had a second case…” you joked, making him chuckle as you three get out of the interrogation room, meeting with the rest of the team.
derek whistles when he sees you. “well if it isn’t the hottest serial killer in the USA!” you flip him the bird. “nice to see you too sweetheart.”
“here.” jj handed you pain killers and a bottle
or water, what made you almost cry in relief.
“oh thank god, my head is about to split open.” you said while taking them, making quick work of swallowing a pair.
“agent hotchner, thank you for coming.” one of the detectives of the police station suddenly approached you and your group. “and these must be agent morgan, gideon, prentiss, jareau and doctor reid.” he offered them a handshake. “doctor reid, not agent. agent y/n was very specific about that when she asked for all of you.” spencer frowned, tilting his head with a confused but amused smile as he shook his hand. you rolled your eyes when his attention shifted towards you, seeing his eyebrows raise. “sorry for my agents’s actions. you know… protocol.”
“we understand it, sir. what can you tell us about the case?”
“ ‘doctor reid?’ “ he teased you, leaning onto you and you pushed him away.
“whatever reid, don’t think this means i like you. ‘cause i don’t.” he hummed, that fucking smirk still plastered on his face.
“we share bed one night and you’re already falling for me, y/n?” i scoff.
“you wish, reid. now wipe that smirk out of your face before i rip it off.” he chuckled.
“you sure you don’t wanna rip my head off instead?” he jokes and you give him a dirty look. “what? it’s funny.”
“excuse me?” all of you turn at the sound of an unknown voice. it’s a post man, holding a box in between his hands. “package for y/n y/l/n?” you frown. the whole team seemed to frown. how could somebody know you would be here?
“uhm yes, that’s me.” you stepped forward, and the post man nodded, taking out a digital pad.
“need you to sign this.” you nodded, approaching him, taking the box. it was heavy, ‘fragile’ printed on its sides. “a letter came with it.” he explained giving you the envelop as well. he took off just as fast as he got what he wanted, leaving you with it.
“what is it?” emily inquired and you shrugged, leaving it on a table of the office.
“no idea.” you answer while cutting the tape open. your heart falls to your stomach when you uncover what hid behind the cardboard. “oh god…” dead well known eyes stare right into your soul, a note written in blood calls your name. “it’s matt…” you feel like getting sick.
you step away and the team takes a look. “well, now we know where the head is…” morgan said, and jj gives him that look.
“yeah, seems like we have and admirer too…” gideon pointed out as spencer put on a pair of gloves and took the note. he recognized the victim as the boy you’d met at the hotel.
“‘loosing my head for you.’” he read out loud. “seems like it was written in blood too.”
“there’s also a cassette, guys.” emily points out, taking it out of the box, careful to not go near the bloody head. there’s a sticker on it, black ink that begs a ‘play me’. hotch takes it off the hand of the brunette and pulses the play button.
a distorted voice fills your ears. “i know… i know… you might don’t like this side about me, y/n. but i couldn’t stand still while that creep took glances at what belongs to me! you’ve gotta understand! i love you. i just want the best for you. to protect you…” his voice although unrecognizable seemed soft, as if a lover tried to make his other half understand the why behind this actions. “if you don’t believe me, take a look inside the letter that came with the box. see you soon, love.”
your eyes fell on the letter, your hands following suit, ripping it open, pictures falling from its inside and spreading themselves on top of the desk. it were pictures of you, in your bikini, in your room, changing clothes… you took them in between your fingers.
“he was stalking you?” emily inquired.
“seems like it.” morgan chirped in. “wait. is that spencer?” he stopped you, and you frowned, taking the picture. it was a photo of the two of you, him carrying you on his shoulder across the pool court and towards your room.
“there’s something written on the back…” you mutter, turning it around, ink scattered along the white. ‘WHO’S HE?’
“seems like the holidays are over.” hotch said, and you sighed.
definitely over.
-
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mj0702 · 2 days
Text
The other Bronze – Pt. 19
Without looking back you just sprinted away from Keira who watched you cut through the crowd and took a deep breath before turning around after she lost sight of you. And oh boy she wasn't wrong with what she expected to see – Lucy was pissed. Her whole body was basically shaking with anger and Keira was grateful for the glass door that divided the two of them for the moment. Keira wasn't scared of Lucy by all means but she also knew that both Bronzes – Lucy and y/n – can get quiet unfair when being emotional. So she took another deep breath before scanning her own ticket entering the tunnelway to the plane
“I'm not talking to you when you come at me like this nor will I deal with this whole issue in the middle of Boarding while others are around” the blonde calmly said before stepping around Lucy continuing walking towards the plane
“What the fuck is going on?” Lucy asked her voice shaking with anger and she was straight in Keiras face
“Keira Fae Walsh” your sister growled trying to grab Keiras wrist to suddenly found herself blocked by Irene
“Let's get home first Lucy...” the spanish player said calmly
Normally not one to get involved into clearly family stuff but as the quiet observant Irene was she saw what Keira did there and obviously Keira only wanted to make you happy. Irene never was someone who was always outgoing like say Mapí or Pina she usually stayed back and just observe. It was clear to her that after what happened in Barcelona just before the international break you needed more time away from the catalan city. It wasn't obvious to Lucy, Mapí, Pina or even Alexia but Irene saw you slightly flinch every time someone would mention Barcelona. You obviously needed distance to overcome whatever was still bothering you. So she did something very unusual for her – she stepped in and got involved.
“I need to get my sister” Lucy suddenly felt a wave of panic wash through her and quickly turned around “... she's still a baby she can't be in a big ass airport by herself”
“Lucy...” Irene said soothingly grabbing the defender by her forearm “... she's a young growing woman – she's not a toddler anymore. We both know who she sprinted after so she isn't alone and you need to trust her... I know it's hard – believe me I know better than anyone. You want to keep her safe and secure and keep the rough world away and make it as easy as you can for them – but they grow up and learn to walk and talk and as hard as it is you need to let them Lucy. When Mateo took his first steps it was the proudest and scariest moments in my life – I was proud he walked and at the same time I was so scared something happens to him. But even if they fall and get hurt – you need to let them Lucy... trust your sister – she's a good kid and has a good head on her shoulders”
“She's fragile right now” your sister tried again weakly
“And you think it's getting better if you force her back to the place where it happened?” the spaniard asked knowing Lucy was just hurting a little too
“I can protect her” Lucy swallowed hard trying to not let her teammate see the tears that were starting to pool in her eyes “I can make it right again”
“We all know that Lucia... we know you can protect her – but right know she doesn't need you to protect her. She needs you to understand that she needs time away. She's save Lucy and that's the only thing that matters”
“I know Irene... I know that she's save.... but it's so hard to let her go” your sister was on the edge of tears standing a little to the side with her teammate while other passengers walked passed uninterested
“Trust me Lucy... I understand you... I understand you better than anyone but you brought her up to be an amazing woman... you let to set her free Lucy – as hard as it is” Irene tried to consult her obviously upset friend “Let others see too that there's another amazing Bronze out there”
“Yeah... yeah okay” Lucy took a deep breath “Thank you Irene”
“No need Lucy – I know how you feel... it's the same feeling I get every day when I drop off Mateo at the kindergarten and he just runs off without even saying Bye because he needs to show his friends his new toy” Irene chuckled pulling Lucy in for a hug
“She didn't run off to show G her toys” Lucy chuckled back through her tears as she hugged her teammate back
“Oh you never know... she's probably showing Georgia her grown up toys” the spanish grinned as she let go of Lucy and turned around to finally board the plane leaving a flabbergasted Bronze behind
“No she's not!!! She's a baby!!!” your sister yelled after Irene a minute later after she collected herself earning strange looks from people going past and further down the tunnel you could hear Irenes laughter
“G!!!! WAIT!!!” you yelled spotting the blond ponytail from your girlfriend as you did your best not to run into someone
You saw Georgia turn around a confused and shocked look on her face thinking she started hallucinating hearing your voice calling out for her. But no – there you were jumping (not) so gracefully over a trolley sprinting towards her. Your girlfriend had mere seconds to collect herself before she saw you launching herself in Georgias arms. Just as you knew your girlfriend caught you with ease but she had to use the momentum to spin you around so you both didn't end up on the floor.
“What are you doing?” Georgia asked slightly panicked “Please don't tell me you ran away because seriously y/n... your sister is going to kill me for real – that's if she's faster than Keira”
“No... no don't worry... I didn't run away – Keira and Sarina rebooked me ticket... I get a small getaway in Munich... that's... if you'll have me” you quickly explained smiling but you'll make sure to drop your voice at the end so bystanders wouldn't hear it
“What...? Yeah... yeah of course” your girlfriends face changed from confused to widely grinning
“Good... I kinda start missing Jill... she's so unintentionally funny” you grinned after your girlfriend put you down again
“Scuse me?” the blonde looked at you offended “What you mean you miss Jill??”
“Oh my Mrs. Stanway... do I detect some jealousy?” you teased your girlfriend keeping your voice low while you move towards the boarding queue
“No... just interest” Georgia tried but you saw right through her
“Interest my ass” you snorted while you handed a Stewardess your ticket happy that the light turned green after she scanned it “Everyone thinks your this easy going persona... in reality you're possessive, dominant and jealous...”
“... and yet still you love me” your girlfriend husked in your ear standing behind you
“That I do... also... you make me laugh” you mumbled back smirking to yourself “But so does Jill”
You couldn't stop the little squeal when Georgia pinched your side and you just started to laugh. You already felt so more at ease for just being with your girlfriend that you set yourself a mental reminder to get the biggest fruit baskets for Mama Rina and Keira that you could find. You steadily moved forward and stepped into the plane that would fly you to Munich when it hit you and you suddenly turned around to Georgia
“I don't feel good” you said a little panicked and try to push past Georgia who just grabbed you gently and turned you back around towards the plane
“It's okay Baby” your girlfriend murmured next to your ear “I'm with you the whole time...”
“No G... I don't FEEL good” you pressed while you got pushed forward gently
“It's not a long flight Baby” Georgia tried to calm you down again smiling slightly at the Stewardess “... she's a little nervous about flying”
“Oh don't worry Miss... our planes are on the newest safety standards and flying is even safer than driving” the Stewardess smiled politely
“Driving... that's it... we're driving... let's go” you rambled trying to turn around again for Georgia to sigh and keep pushing you forward
“No... I have training tomorrow afternoon... we can't drive” your girlfriend said calmly pushing you through the tight aisle and you already felt your chest tighten
“G” you said your voice trembling
“It's okay Baby... nothing will happen I promise” Georgia said soothingly stopping you at your seats “We take off, have a nice conversation about how you miss.. Jill... and then we already land... easy peasy – like the win over Spain”
“G” you said again desperately your panic rising
“You're safe Baby” your girlfriend mumbled quietly pushing you into the middle seat at your row before taking her own seat at the aisle
“No G... I don't feel good... I feel if I'm gonna throw up” you whispered your eyes fixed on the seat in front of you
“Oh...” Georgia said a little lost “.... ehrm.. you haven't eaten this morning.... wait... I still have a cereal bar”
“No please don't make me eat anything” you begged your girlfriend but she was already out of her seat searching her little carry-on bag for said cereal bar
“Here... eat that... you don't have to chew just bite some off and swallow it” your girlfriend held the bar right under your nose smiling encouraging
The smell alone made you heave and you pushed her hand away
“Baby please... I beg you” you looked at her with pleading eyes
“No... you eat that cereal and then you feel better.. it'll help your nerves Baby” Georgia said her voice low and caring
“I'm not...” you started but she interrupted you
“... hungry I know...” your girlfriend rolled her eyes “... for me... please?”
“You better keep your stomach in check because I'm 87.94% sure I'm gonna throw up” you mumbled as you grabbed the cereal bar as if it personally insulted you
“Thank you” Georgia said before checking her surroundings quickly then pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek
“Yeah yeah” you mumbled opening the snack and biting into it “That's disgustingly sweet”
“Yeah sorry... it's white chocolate/strawberry” your girlfriend smiled apologetic
“You KNOW I hate white chocolate” you whined but didn't get very far as Georgia pushed the bar back into your mouth and the safety instructions started
“I don't know why they do that every flight... if we crash we crash” you mumbled with a full mouth
“There are still people who never flown and not every crash is deadly” your girlfriend mumbled back not paying attention herself already having her tablet out looking for a movie to distract you during the flight
“Still...” you mumbled taking another bite from the cereal bar chewing it aggressively
Georgia chuckled lowly laying her hand on your knee in a calming manner stopping your leg from bouncing nervously
“Okay... we're about to take off... take my hand” your girlfriend said quietly offering her hand
“I've flown alone before...” you grumbled but take her hand nonetheless
“Oh I know you did... just wanted to give a reasonable excuse to hold my hand” Georgia smirked
“I kinda missed the sneaking around” you mused squeezing her hand tightly feeling your nerves rising again as the plane rolled onto the runway
“You're doing great Baby...” Georgia whispered and ran her thumb over your knuckles
“G... my stomach is acting up.. I think... bad feeling” you mumbled your voice strained
“Just nerves babe.... relax... tell me about Barcelona” your girlfriend tried to distract you
“It's hot there... so so hot G... the weather isn't bad either” you said nonchalantly and your girlfriend bursted out laughing
“So... who looks best in a bikini?” Georgia smirked mentally congratulating herself for succeeding with her distraction plan
“All of them” you quickly said “Ratings... Bonmatí is a 9 – she had one of these big white hats on.. kind of a turn off... but still... a 9... Princess Norwegian is a 10 – she's a full package... I kinda digged that dark blue bikini... Lucy probably could've pulled that one off too – she got a nice tan... apparently without lines”
“Ew... too much” your girlfriend pulled a face
“... yeah... that's what I said... who else was there.. uh... tweedledee... a 8.5 – she definitely has the body for it but the bikini was a little... boring... tweedledumb... a 7.8... she small and I really don't get the printed bikinis you know... why would you wear somethings with pineapples on it?” you looked at Georgia confused who chuckled shrugging her shoulders “... then you have Ona... I don't really want to rate her – I saw her naked... okay I saw her back and ass naked... ugh” you shuddered “... I thought I forgot about that”
“Sorry to open old wounds” Georgia smirked and you saw that she wasn't sorry at all
“You're nooo...” you started but then you felt the plane pick up speed feeling the unmistakable little jump when the plane started to take off
“It's okay... look at me...” your girlfriend calmly said feeling you squeeze her hand to the point where she was sure you'd brake it “... Baby... look at ME”
“I hate it..” your breathing starting to get quicker as you turned your head looking into your girlfriends brown eyes
“It's all good... you're doing amazing...” Georgia said lowly holding your stare until she felt you relax and lighten your squeeze “How does Lucy deals with it when she's with you?”
“Keira always gives me these Vitamin gummies” you mumbled
“Vitamin gummies?” your girlfriend asked confused and there was the well-known “pling” as the seatbelt sign went off
“I love you... but move” you quickly opened your seatbelt basically climbing over her
“What... where are you... y/n” Georgia looked puzzled after you as you speed walked down the aisle before she quickly tried to get after you but forgot that she still had her seatbelt on
You quickly made it into the tiny bathroom just in time to hunch over the toilet and empty your stomach content into it. Your girlfriend squeezed in behind you as you felt a new wave of nausea hit you and you crouched over the bowl again heaving again
“Oh god” you heard behind you and heard Georgia dry heave
“Get out” you pressed out
“No no... I'm going to help you” your girlfriend said her voice strained
“G... you're a sympathy puker... GET. OUT” you said before heaving out there
“You need...” another heave “Help”
“I need you to get out” you said before getting hit by another wave which caused you to vomit again
To your surprise your girlfriend stayed the whole time holding your hair and rubbed over your back soothingly. When you thought you were done you sat down your back against the cold wall and you looked up towards Georgia. The blonde still held your hair loosely but she looked in the complete different way than you were in. It made you smiled lightly before you remembered where you sat and you quickly jumped up already shuddering thinking about all the gems that were now on you.
“I'm done.... I don't think there's anything left” you mumbled
“Thank god” your girlfriend sighed out “What do you need?”
“A bottle of water to wash my mouth... and some spearmint” you said slowly “... and some disinfectant”
“Wait here... I go to the stewardess” Georgia said and out of routine she leaned forward wanting to press a kiss to your mouth but you stopped her just in time with your hand against her chest
“Yeah I don't think so” you said pushing her backwards
“Sorry... habit” your girlfriend mumbled ashamed before disappearing
A few minutes later you heard a quiet knock on the door and you tiredly opened it to see the pitiful face of your girlfriend
“Do not pity me Stanway” you said exhausted “Told you I hate flying”
“I just wish there was more I could do” Georgia said sadly
“You did more then everyone ever before...” you whispered accepting the bottle of water gratefully
“More than Lucy?” your girlfriend perked up
“Lucys asleep before we hit the runway... especially with early flights...” you mumbled after you rinsed your mouth twice
“Keira?” Georgia tried
“I never let her in” you admit and in this second Georgia realized how special this moment was – even if it costed it her whole willpower not to puke on your back
“I'll always take care of you... lets go back to our seats – you can rest some and I'll wake you up when we're landing okay” the blonde whispered and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead
“Kay... sounds good” you mumbled exhaustion clear in your voice as you let her lead you back to your seats
“Baby... wake up” Georgia shook you slightly as the captain told the crew to prepare for landing “... we're landing”
“Hm?” you grumbled your eyes slowly opening as you looked around confused
“We're landing... nearly home” your girlfriend smiled lovingly pushing you in a normal seating position
“Home?” you asked the sleep thick in your voice
“Yeah... just landing, getting our luggage and getting home...” Georgia confirmed intertwining your hands
“Good... I'm really hungry now” you answered still not fully aware of your surroundings
“I bet... nothing left in your stomach huh” your girlfriend chuckled
“Nope... dropped it somewhere over... I don't know.. maybe Berlin” you shrugged your shoulders getting more awake by the minute
“We didn't fly over Berlin” Georgia laughed
“Then some other German city... hope they didn't get offended or flashbacks...” you bit out and suddenly you felt the wheels of the plane connect with the runway in Munich “.... we're... already down”
“Yes... knew it would help to let you sleep as long as possible” your girlfriend grinned proudly
“I didn't sleep” you mumbled grumpy
“The patch of drool on me shoulder says something different” Georgias grin widen
“You probably spilled something on yourself” you huffed and rolled your eyes for good measure
“Mhm” your girlfriend grinned like a maniac now
“Hate you” you grumbled
“No you don't...” the blonde laughed and pressed a subtle kiss to your temple as the plane got in it's final parking position
“When do you have to be back at training?” you asked as you opened your seatbelt and nudged your girlfriend to do the same
“Tomorrow at 4....” Georgia answered as she stood up getting your carry-ons from the overhead cabs
“Sooooo... we have the rest of today AND tomorrow morning to our selves?” you grinned
“Oh god woman... what have you planned now?” your girlfriend exclaimed scared
“I'll break your knees if you call me “woman” ever again” you growled but Georgia saw the glint in your eyes before you playfully push her forward
“Why does baggage always takes so long??” you whined
“They unload about a 100 bags... relax Babe” Georgia said sitting in one of the chairs opposite to your baggage carousel turning on her phone “Text your sister that you're still alive”
“I'll text Kei later...” you answered starting to pace again
“Babe please... text Lucy so she knows I didn't kill you... she hates me anyway I don't want her to have stuff to add on top” your girlfriend pleaded
“Lucy... might not be happy with me either at the moment” you said carefully
“What? Why?” Georgia asked confused looking up from her phone
“She... didn't know about... this” you waved your hand around
“She WHAT now????” your girlfriend shot out of her seat
“It was Keira and Sarina... I didn't know either... Keira pushed Lucy through tickets before me and then told me... so Lucy was already through and just saw me... running off.... so I doubt me texting her will help our case” you confessed scratching your neck
“Oh dear jesus Mary mother of god” your girlfriend groaned “... she'll kill me... she'll think it was my idea.... she's probably already on her way to Munich... but... Munich is a big city... she'll never find me... I just... I... WitSec... do they have Witness Protection in Germany?”
“G... calm down... she won't... Keira wouldn't let it happen – Keira is in our corner and she's basically the only One who will get away with it because she's the only One who can make Lucy see reason...” you grabbed your girlfriends shoulders shaking her slightly “... and Witsec is American... so I don't think they have that here”
“Okay... yes... yes you're right” Georgia took a deep breath before her eye shot open wide in shock “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.... hide me”
“Huh??” you asked confused as G already started to pull you behind a pole positioning you in front of her as she crouched down “G?”
“Ssssshhhh...” she shushed you peaking out around your waist “If she sees me I'm fucked”
“Who??” you whisper yelled
“Oh Georgia” you suddenly heard a sing song from the other side of the pole and you saw all color leave your girlfriends face
“Shit” you heard Georgia swear before she pushed you to the side sprinting off
Next thing you knew a flash of blonde came around the pole and sprinting past you. You were confused to know end seeing a blonde woman chasing your girlfriend around the baggage carousel
“What the fuck?” you mumbled to yourself watching how Georgia quickly cut a corner and jumped over some seats
“This an ex??” you asked loudly as your girlfriend was near you not knowing what to make out of this scenario
“God NO” Georgia yelled back jumping up when she saw that woman coming in for a slide tackle
“Crazy fan?” you tried again grabbing for information
“Something like that” your girlfriend answered before coming to a skitting halt next to you pulling you quickly in front of her using you as a human shield
“Talk to me woman” you growled seeing the other blonde walking over to you
“Magdalena Lilly Eriksson!!! I DARE you!!” you suddenly heard from your right and when you turned your head you saw an angry even blonder woman pointing aggressively towards the blonde woman in front of you
“But...” the slight darker blonde whined
“What the fuck is going on here??” you asked with a mixture of confusion and anger
“SHE” the darker blonde pointed at Georgia who was still hiding behind you “Ate my last Kanelbullar... and THEN she just fucked off”
“I swear I didn't know it was the last” your girlfriend piped up from behind you
“She what now??” you asked baffled
“Okay... stop... that poor girl is losing her mind right now” the lighter blonde said sternly turning towards you “Hi... my name is Pernille Harder... this hothead over there is my girlfriend Magdalena Eriksson... we play with Georgia at Bayern”
“Hardersson...” you exclaimed after a second that you needed to process that information “... I heard of you before”
“Yes... that's us” Pernille smiled warmly “And you... are?”
“Uh uh.. sorry... I swear Keira taught me manners.... y/n Bronze” you extended your hand to Pernille “... the best kept Secret in the Soccer world as it seems... or the better looking, younger and smarter Bronze”
Pernille grabbed your hand shaking it while she laughed heartwarmingly
“I do remember you... you were Lucys shadow when City played Chelsea...” the Danish smiled
“Now I'm just her pain in the ass... I upgraded meself” you grinned back which set off a fresh round of laughter
“So Pernille... Harder... better part of Hardersson... what do I call you?” you asked stumbling a little over your words
“P is just fine...” the lighter blonde laughed
“Okay... P... WHAT exactly is the problem here and why is Stanway using me as a human shield?” you asked teasing
“G ate Magdas last Kanelbullar... it's a Swedish... I would like to say dessert but they eat it at whatever time they feel like it... so I just say Swedish dish...” the Danish explained while her girlfriend had the biggest scowl on her face “Oh stop it Magda – I know for a fact that you stuffed your face with Kanelbullar the second your feet touched Swedish ground”
“That's NOT the point...” the swede grunted “... and how do you know about that anyway?”
“Frido AND Stina” Pernille waved off “... not to mention all the complaints from Zečira about all the crumbs in her bed...”
“These backstabbing...” the swede grumbled before her gaze locked on your girlfriend again “... you still...”
“Magda leave her alone...” Pernille said warningly and as much of a hard ass Magda was on the field – when her girlfriend used this tone she knew to listen
“Okay... for the stupid english over here” you pointed at yourself “... G ate what?”
“Kanelbullar” Magda grumbled “MY Kanelbullar”
“WHAT. IS. THAT??” you looked at the swede talking overly slowly like the blonde didn't speak fluent english
“It's a Swedish delicacy” the swede looked at you like you were stupid
“You guys stuff your face with fish that makes the whole WORLD puke... you could end wars with that stuff” you exclaimed “... so don't just say “Swedish delicacy”... EXPLAIN it”
“Ey... Surtrömming is eatable... you just need to wait after you opened the tin” Magda looks at you offended
“Okay.... you obviously don't get me” you said turning around fixing your girlfriend with a glare “You ate her last what now??”
“Kanel...” Georgia started
“If you just repeat that word I'll break your kneecaps...” you sneered your nostrils flared
“It's a Swedish... yeah.. zimtschnecke” your girlfriend quickly explained a little scared of you
“a what?” you started to lose your patience
“Zimtschnecke... you know... like Nussschnecke... just with... Zimt” Georgia looked at you lost shrugging her shoulders
“A WHAT??” your breathing picked up significantly as you heard Pernille chuckle behind you
“You ate that before! I saw you eat it” your girlfriend tried to calm you down
“Georgia” you heard Pernille chuckle “... maybe you should try to explain in english... you just used German... she doesn't look like she speaks German”
“Oh... OH” your girlfriends eyes widen “Cinnamon rolls... I ate her last cinnamon roll”
“Oh for god fucking sakes... all THAT because of a cinnamon roll???” you asked baffled
“She likes her cinnamon rolls” Georgia smiled apologetic
“Here...” you turned around to the Swedish player pulling a fiver out of your pockets “... buy yourself some cinnamon rolls... kindergarten.. seriously”
Magda was about to grab the money as Pernille just cleared her throat behind her girlfriend and the Swedish smiled at you
“That's very nice but not necessary... but thank you very much” Magda smiled strained which made her look like she has a stroke
“Suit yourself.... Stanway... luggage...” you grumbled not ready to deal with more bullshit and your girlfriend knew that – that why she stumbled away as quickly as possible trying to find your twos bags.
“I like you little Bronze” Pernille smiled “... good to know someone has at least some control over Georgia”
“She just scared of Lucy” you shrugged your shoulders watching your girlfriend – now in company of Magda – running around the baggage belt looking for your bag
“Because she's sleeping with her baby sister?” the Danish smirked
“Don't know what you're talking about” you said nonchalantly
“Oh but you do... but it's okay.... not all of us are as comfortable showing their relationship as Mags and I.. it's okay...” the Danish said warmly “... but I saw the way G looked at you... I KNOW that there's something going on”
“There's nothing going on...” you said neutral “... not for the next 14 month, 2 weeks and 9 days...”
“Oh really...” Pernille looked at you surprised “... and why is that?”
“That's the day I turn 18” you shrugged your shoulders your eyes still on your girlfriend
“Oh damn...” the Danish caught on immediately
“So... no.. there's nothing going on... we're just friends” you said but Pernille heard the strain in your voice
“Look at me” the blonde said a little more stricter and waited until you looked her in the eyes “I know we don't know each other but I won't tell a single soul and as long as it's just me and Magda around you two can be as open and as touchy as you want to be... you two love each other and we're not judging anyone... so if you want I would like to grab dinner sometimes... just the four of us”
“Thank you” you whispered gratefully “and dinner sounds go.... wait... we're getting take out right? No way I'm eating that Swedish fish”
“I'll cook... Magda would just burn down the house” the Danish laughed out loud
“G's the same... Keira told me they banned her from using the toaster because she nearly sat their shared apartment in Manc on fire... she tried to shortcut making fish fingers.... she didn't do them in the oven like every normal person but put them in the toaster and the toaster basically exploded” you told Pernille shrugging your shoulders unimpressed
“Magda managed to burn down the water cattle” Pernille smirked
“Wha... HOW?” your head snapped in the blondes direction shocked
“She didn't close the lid properly and it kept boiling.... and boiling... and boiling... until there was nothing left to boil except for itself” the Danish smirked at your expression
“We should get Bayern media team to make them cook and put it out there...” you grinned “... I mean she already gets shit for the half-Jamaican thing...”
“Please no... they probably injure themselves so badly they can't play anymore and you know we have Champions League coming up” Pernille said
“.... after maybe?” you mused innocently
“No...” the Danish said firmly and you huffed disappointed
“Ba... y/n... I found your bag” you girlfriend came running over dragging your bag behind her like an excited golden retriever
“Good job” you cooed “... I'll make sure Pernille gets you a cookie”
“Why me?” the blonde looked at you frazzled
“I'm not getting in trouble with our Health and Nutrition Coach” you lifted your hands in a surrounding matter “You're not English... she can't make you run laps”
“If Stanway gets a cookie I want one too.. I got our bags” Magda suddenly appeared behind Georgia
“No one gets cookies” Pernille sighed out
“Spoilsport” your girlfriend mumbled
“Glädjemördare” Magda mumbled at the same time just as disappointed as Georgia
“Excuse me Magda Eriksson?” Pernille raised her eyebrow at her girlfriend “You do realize we're dating long enough for me to actually speak and UNDERSTAND Swedish yes?”
“What did she dare you to?” you looked interested
“She didn't dare me to do anything?” the Danish looked at you confused
“She said gibberish gibberish dare” you said like it was clear what you meant
“No søde... she said “glädjemördare”... Swedish for “joy killer”...” Pernille laughed at your language confusion
“Great... another confusing language” you rolled your eyes “Can't you guys just stick with english?”
“I can teach you all the swear words... so you can annoy Frido” Magda grinned
“You will do no such thing” Pernille scolded her girlfriend
“You will absolutely do such thing” you grinned widely
“Ehrm... y/n?” Georgia looked at you
“Yeah??” you looked at her confused
“Home?” your girlfriend asked
“Yeah... day was emotionally exhausting” you said yawning
“Will we see you tomorrow at training?” Pernille asked you
“Think so...” you shrugged your shoulders “... apparently I'm not allowed exploring by meself anymore”
“I'm not taking any chances for you to end up at the botanic garden again” Georgia exclaimed (Note: the “old botanic garden” is one of the most dangerous parts of Munich)
“It was a mistake... your directions weren't clear” you defended yourself
“I told you ENGLISH garden... not botanical!!” Georgia bursted out
“It a garden isn't it???” you asked lost
“But the wrong one...” your girlfriend pressed quiet stressed
“Yeah... you shouldn't go there søde... it's really dangerous” Pernille said seriously
“It wasn't on purpose... Georgia talked about that beautiful garden and I just googled garden and that was the nearest one...” you defended yourself “And why are you calling me soda?”
“Søde...” the Danish corrected while she ushered all of you towards the exit “... Danish”
“Great... ANOTHER language...” you huffed as you exit the baggage area to get met with quite a large crowd of fans “Oh lovely... fans... a lot of them”
“You're not a fan?” the Danish blonde asked a little alarmed
“Not really no...” you shook your head falling back a little letting Georgia go in front “... had some not so nice interactions with them”
“Magda” Pernille pulled her girlfriend back “Make sure she's okay...”
“Yes ma'am” the swede nodded seriously
“Just stay with Magda... fans get really quiet around her because she always has this scowl on her face... she'll make sure you're save” the Danish told you and pushed you next to her girlfriend
The Swedish blonde laid her arm around your shoulders pulling you into her side which you surprisingly accepted gratefully and let her lead you towards the crowd of fans
“When it gets to much tug on my shirt okay... I get you out of there in seconds” Magda mumbled through her smile she put on for some pictures
“As long as they don't invade my space too much it should be okay” you said quietly “... or touch me...”
Georgia was already in full fan interaction mode, signing stuff, taking selfies, talking to the fans a little – full package. Pernille was also signing some Jerseys and pictures while Magda tried to keep you out of the middle of the crowd. Your girlfriend glanced up every five seconds to check if you're okay even tho she knew Magda was like a pit-bull when it comes to keep people safe – nearly as bad as Lucy. But just nearly. Lucy was a whole other level.
“Magda” you whispered and you saw how the swede turned her head lightly obviously waiting for you to continue while she took some more pictures “... getting too much”
Immediately you got pulled along through the crowd and sat in the next chair that was empty while some Police were slandering over asking if everything was okay. Of course they knew who Magda was so when she told them you were on the verge of a panic attack (so not true) they offered some protection. You were so SO grateful that Magda got you out of the bunch of crazies as you call them ever since you were little and some fans ran you over you to get some autographs from Lucy – got you a free ride in the ambulance and then seven stitches to the back of your head and a free concussion on top. Since that day Lucy made sure she either carried you (which heated up the rumors about you being her daughter) or sat you on top of the baggage trolley. Now Magda took over the responsibility to keep you safe and damn she took it seriously. There was a girl about your age that started her way over to her but one glare from Magda made her change directions quickly.
“Thank you” you mumbled a little ashamed
“No problem... I know they can get a lot sometimes – even if the Bayern fans are pretty well behaved... most of the times” the swede smiled sitting down next to you “... so... you're staying with G?”
“Yeah... needed some time off” you nodded
“Off what?” the blonde asked interested
“Barcelona” you said biting your lip
“Spanish people are something else huh” Magda kept the interaction light
“Yes... you could say that” you answered quietly
“I would love to see you at training tomorrow” the blonde said suddenly “.. you make her better”
“Huh?” you looked up confused
“Georgia... she's different when you're around... better different....” the blonde said “... in love different”
“Dear jesus lord have mercy” you sighed “... not you too – is it that obvious?”
“Not to people who haven't experienced love...” Magda smiled “... but the way you look at each other - that's love Busunge”
“Did you just insult me? It sounded like an insult” you looked baffled
“No...” the swede laughed “... it means “little rascal”...”
“Why is everyone giving me weird nicknames?” you wondered out loud
“Because you are loved... I've only known you for about half an hour but it feels like I've known you forever and I want to protect you.. you have a pure soul and people see that” Magda said calmly
“Okay... now it gotten weird” you mumbled looking over to your girlfriend “... I'm not confirming nor denying anything...”
“You don't need to...” the swede smiled laying her hand on your knee in silent support “... I already know... and don't worry – no one will hear a word from me”
“Thank you” you whispered thankfully as you saw your girlfriend approaching the two of you
“Ready to go home?” Georgia asked smiling herself
“Sí” you nodded standing up “Thank you Magda... it really means a lot”
“Always Busunge... Stanway... protect her with all you have” the blonde looked at Georgia seriously and G nodded curtly
Meanwhile Lucy, Keira and the Barca woman landed in Barcelona with Keira still ignoring her ex-girlfriend. After they all got their bags and said their goodbyes Keira put herself in Lucys way
“You with me... we have something to talk about” the blonde sneered keeping her voice low
“Ona drives me home” your sister said a little scared
“No she's not... I told you we're gonna talk” Keira said simply
“But...” Lucy tried again but got shot down with just one look
“Ona can come too if she wants to” the blonde said looking at her friend
“Ehrm...” the small spaniard rubbed the back of her neck “... I actually... yeah... uh... I have to pick Coco up... yes.. See you later Babe”
And with that she was gone and left Lucy fearing for her life. She saw that look on Keiras face once before – when fans were a little too excited to see the Lionesses and pushed you around and hurt you in progress. This look on Keiras face means business. The drive to Lucys apartment was short and not enjoyable for the england defender. The atmosphere in the car was icy at best and Lucy wrecked her brain what she could've done that would make her ex that angry
“Unlock” Keira simply said gesturing to the door which Lucy follow suit and quickly unlocked it pushing it open so the blonde could step inside before following
“Who the hell do you think you are?” Keira turned around looking even more furious than before after the door fell shut
“What?” your sister asked dumb folded
“I ask... WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE??” the blonde now outright yelled
“I... can't follow” Lucy said confused
“Who do you think you are sabotaging your sister relationship like this?” Keira asked again
“I didn't...” your sister started to defend herself
“Oh you fucking did and you know it... do you know that the WHOLE TEAM planned their little getaway from you Lucy... THE. WHOLE. FUCKING. TEAM... Sarina including... you didn't even noticed how hurt Bitsy was when you shooed G away every morning at breakfast. Or how sad she got when G didn't even take her hand when we were watching analysis... Or that six out of seven days y/n came to ME crying herself to sleep at night why YOU were so angry at her and G and she seriously thought about ending it so YOU would be her sister again and not some mental deranged cunt” now Keira got really angry
“Ehrm...” at this point Lucy was at loss for words
“... you didn't realize that hurtful look in Bitsys eyes whenever you pushed yourself in between them two... YOU didn't... the rest of the Team did and Sarina helped them... your own coach helped the Team to work something out which didn't benefit you, did it now?” the blonde kept talking ignoring Lucys attempts to interrupt her “... so again... who the hell do you think you are hurting them like that?”
“I... didn't mean too” your sister started “... I just... every time I saw G near her I got so so scared she'd hurt her”
“YOU were the one hurting her Lucy” Keira pressed again
“Not on purpose!!” Lucy exclaimed “But.. it's G you know...”
“It's G... exactly... the woman who loves Bitsy with all her heart... with all her being... with everything she has... the woman who jump off a building for her or walk the Antarctica in shorts... the woman who makes sure to give her more love than she can actually offer to make up for YOUR stupid behavior...” the blonde said seriously “... she LOVES her Lucy... it makes me so sad that you can't see what we all see... these two... they are their forever Lucy....”
“That's what we thought about ourselves too one time” your sister said just as serious
“We both know that's a lie... we both realized pretty quickly that we're not our forever... but they are Lucy... just like Ona and you... G is everything to Bitsy... and more” Keira said turning around before stopping again the door handle already in her hand “... everyone needs a G in their life Lucy... I hope you don't fuck it up with yours and see that she's your forever just like G is Bitsys”
With that Keira left leaving a gob smacked Lucy behind who used the next best cupboard to sit down
“Home sweet Home” you sighed as you stepped into Georgias flat after her “... and OCD clean as always”
“Had to clean before I left” your girlfriend mumbled looking through her mail
“Babe... I love you... but you ALWAYS clean... I swear we could do a surgery in here” you grinned as you walked into the kitchen opening the fridge “... we need to go shopping”
“God Damnit fucking fuck shit” you suddenly heard Georgia swear
“What happened?” you quickly walked into the living room not used to your girlfriend swearing so openly – the occasional “fuck” yes but that?!
“I got a speeding ticket!!” your girlfriend exclaimed upset holding the letter into your face
You didn't know how to react so you did the first thing that came to mind – you bursted out laughing as you took the letter from her looking at the little black and white picture on it
“What did that picture cost you Stanway?” you laughed
“You have to give it back so I can look” your girlfriend grumbled as you already handing the letter back “... 178,50€ and a one month suspension.... fuck”
“What does that mean?” you asked looking over her shoulder
“I have to hand in me license for a month....” Georgia was pissed now – pissed at herself
“You know that you could get better pictures of yourself from fans for free right... you didn't have to do a shooting that's so expensive” you grinned smugly
“Not in the mood Baby” your girlfriend growled
“Hey... G... Baby” you softly said seeing how tense her body was “... it happened okay... nothing you can do about it... it just means you have to go to training with public transport – or maybe someone can pick you up”
“It's not that... I'm pissed at meself” Georgia grumbled her Manchester accent coming in thick
“Shit happens... I can drive if you want” you shrugged your shoulders
“I'm not giving you my Audi... I saw what that stunt guy taught you” your girlfriend looked at you shocked
“So... public transport it is then... we need to go shopping” you shrugged your shoulders walking towards the bedroom and you heard Georgia groan loudly
“What's that?” you pointed at some weird looking steaming mass at the meat counter
“Leberkäse” Georgia said “It's translated to liver cheese but it hasn't got any cheese in there... it's just meat.. normally served warm in a bun with sweet mustard”
“Sounds.... yummy” you pulled a disgusted face but smiled as soon as the saleslady looked over
“It's not bad... you wanna try it?” your girlfriend shrugged her shoulders
“No thank you” you said shaking your head slightly
“You want something else to eat? Schnitzel or Bratwurst?” Georgia asked again getting excited that for once she's the one who knew all the food instead of you
“Can't we just get some vegs and make some pasta?” you looked at your girlfriend pleadingly
“Since when are you voluntarily eat vegetables?” the blonde looked at you confused
“This looks all so.... much” you said ashamed looking at the meat counter
“We can share a Bratwurst if you like... like.. to go and then make something at home” your girlfriend offered “.... cause I'm starving”
“You're always starving” you rolled your eyes “... but sounds good”
“Okay...” Georgia smiled turning towards the saleslady “Hallo... eine Bratwurt im Brötchen bitte”
“You sound like you're choking when you speak german” you said flatly
“You want ketchup or mustard?” Georgia chose to ignore your comment looking at you expectantly
“Is it like.. a must?” you eyed the sausage carefully
“Of course not...” your girlfriend shook her head addressing the saleslady again “Entschuldigung.. wir brauchen noch eine moment”
“Des is koa problem – nehmts eich nur Zeit... wir han schliaßlich ned auf da flucht” the lady smiled
“Whatever she said” you mumbled confused “What did she say?”
“I have... a slight clue but I'm not sure – I think she said to take our time” Georgia looked a little bit lost too
“I thought you spoke German” you shook your head at her in disbelieve
“That was Bavarian... I can speak tiny little bit Bavarian... but not.. like sentence” your girlfriend answered
“Gosh... it's like Lucy and catalan all over again...” you rolled your eyes
“Ketchup? Mustard? Nothing?” Georgia asked you again
“Well... I don't know... what's authentic?” you looked again at the sausage – this was answer enough for your girlfriend
“Senf bitte” she smiled proudly at the saleslady
“Oamoi mit senf... basst” the woman smiled and squeezed an awful amount of Mustard on the sausage “Bittschee... da hobt's eier bratwurst... zwoadreisge mochts”
“Dankeschön” Georgia smiled and handed the lady some cash in trade with the sausage roll “Das passt so”
“Mei merce dia derndl” the lady smiled brightly
“Take a bite” your girlfriend looked at you with excitement “It's really good”
“It's... spicy” you said after you took a bite handing the roll back to Georgia
“So you don't like it?” her face fell slightly
“No no... it's good... just... different you know” you quickly said “... I've never had a sausage like this”
“Oh yeah... it's a weird taste at first.. but you'll love it soon – it's the best... what's also good, but A LOT is schweinshaxe” Georgia smiled happily
“Come again?” you choked on your water
“Schweinshaxe... it's deep fried pigs leg.. it's REALLY good but you need about four people to eat one portion” your girlfriend snickered at your shocked face
“A pigs leg....” you swallowed hard trying not to heave
“Trust me... sounds disgusting but is REALLY good” Georgia said as she took your hand starting towards the shopping center with her sausage roll in the other hand
Two hours later you sighed in relieve once you kicked the front door closed with your foot. You've never been a fan of shopping. But shopping in a big ass shopping mall with five million shops for everything and some more with 35 million people around who obviously understand you just to answer your questions in german was just too much for you. Also – half the stuff they sell you never heard off. For example “Obazda”. Never heard of it but apparently it's the shit under the locals. Georgia made you try it and you were 97.8% positive cyanide wouldn't taste much different. G explained that it was basically just cream cheese with brie cheese and some spices but you were sure that stuff was poisonous. Your girlfriend laughed tears when she saw your face and heard the sounds you made after you put that little testing spoon in your mouth. The second you could talk again – after you cleared your mouth with Spezi – you threatened your girlfriend with no sex for the next six month which cause G to buy you some weird looking sweet dish. She called it “Auszogne” - it was weird looking but oh SO tasty.
Back in Georgias apartment you dropped all the shopping bags and just fell face forward onto the couch with a loud grunt
“You okay?” your girlfriend poked her head inside
“Just tired” you mumbled into the pillows
“I'll quickly put away the groceries and cook something okay... stay there and rest” Georgia said and went into the kitchen
“Okay” you sighed relaxing instantly – until your brain registered what she just said and you shot up and off the couch into the kitchen “no!”
“No?” your girlfriend asked confused “No what?”
“I cook... you just... put the stuff away” you said quickly
“I can cook” Georgia said a little offended
“The last time you set fire to the potatoes” you deadpanned “FIRE G – I didn't even know potatoes could burn even less catch fire”
“They were dry from the beginning” your girlfriend defended herself
“No Baby... they weren't... so you do groceries I do food” you smirked and Georgia rolled her eyes and grumbled a little bit as she started to put away the shopping
“Fuck me” your girlfriend moaned as she ate the first fork of the dinner you made
“Been there – done that” you smirked but started to eat too
“Where and when did you learn to do.... that?” Georgia gestured in between your plates
“Making pasta? Pretty much when Lucy fled to Spain and left me to fend for me own” you said shrugging your shoulders
“She didn't flee.... she did what was right for her career” G looked at you “... like when I went to Munich... sometimes you have to make decisions you don't really wanna make”
“Yeah I get that... it was the way it happened” you said avoiding your girlfriends eyes
“What do you mean?” Georgia looked confused before taking another fork full of pasta
“You know how I found out Lucy was transferred to Barcelona? Through the media... she didn't tell me herself – I found out through Instagram” you said and G noticed how your voice changed
“Hey... calm down” your girlfriend said taking your hand on the table “... maybe she just didn't know how to tell you...”
“She had no problem telling me she's going to Lyon” you pointed out
“I... don't know what her reasons were but I'm sure she had some” Georgia said a little lost
“Oh I can tell you the reason... the reason was.... is... Ona Batlle” you smiled sarcastic “... You know Lucy and Keira basically split after the Euros... and like.. 8 month later there's the first speculation about a new girl at her side??”
“Ehrm....” now you lost Georgia completely
“Sorry... I really don't want to talk about Lucy.... what are tomorrows plans?” you took a deep breath “And more importantly... where is Giovanni”
“Tomorrow... training at 4... other than that? Nothing?” your girlfriend was glad about the topic change “... and Giovanni... waiting in the bedroom for you”
“Perfect... didn't you tell me you wanted to take me out for breakfast?” you smirked sweetly
“Oh I see how it is... spending all me money why don't you” Georgia rolled her eyes smiling
“Says the woman who has to pay a 180 bucks fine for speeding” you shot back
“And here I thought you love me” your girlfriend grumbled offended
“I do love you... I've never cooked for anyone else than myself before” you pointed your fork at her a slight glint in her eyes
“And it's delicious...” Georgia quickly said
“I better fucking hope so.... I kinda want to do that for a living one day” you answered smiling
“You do?” your girlfriend looked at you surprised
“Yeah.... since Keira left too I was looking after myself – so I started to cook
“Morning...” you heard Georgia mumble into your neck pulling you closer into her
“Go back to sleep... it's still dark outside” you grumbled but melted into her
“That... are the blinds Baby... it's actually 9” your girlfriend chuckled
“Ugh fuck me... you're awake aren't you?” you groaned
“Yeah...” Georgia said a little embarrassed
“Ugh” you groaned again “... go... running or something... I want to sleep”
“I thought about taking you out for breakfast... I promise it's worth it... Avo-Toasts as many as you can eat” your girlfriend nuzzled into your neck
“Orange juice?” you asked your eyes still closed
“As much as you can drink” you could feel G grin into the back of your neck “... and a shower before we leave”
“I swear Stanway if you drag me out of bed for a shitty coffee I tell Lucy we had sex with her sleeping on the couch” you grinned evilly and your grin widened when you felt your girlfriend tense behind her
“You... wouldn't right?” Georgia asked carefully knowing fully well which situation you talked about
“Get me good coffee and I won't.... my dear” you said sweetly as you stood up walking towards the bathroom leaving your baffled girlfriend behind before turning around “You coming?”
Seconds later you heard the blankets rustle and Georgias naked feet on the hard wood floor.
“Oh god... this is GOOD” you moaned shamelessly at your first sip of coffee
“Could you please not act like you're shooting a porn right now... it's just coffee” Georgia said turning bright red looking around if someone looks
“You should be able to tell me moans apart Stanway” you shot back not caring who's listening – you haven't even had your first coffee yet
“Oh god” your girlfriend groaned embarrassed “Just... keep drinking...”
“What a sight for sore eyes” you suddenly heard behind you and your head shot up
“Seriously??? Munich has like... 500 million people and YOU find me amongst them?” you asked the person behind you without turning around
“I told you... I'll always be able to find you... Liefje” the person answered and you could hear the smirk in her voice
“You sound like a stalker... and don't call me Liefje... only ONE Gouda-head is allowed to call me that – and the last time you weren't her” you smirked as well still with your back to that persona
“I'm gonna tell your precious Head coach you called her a Gouda-head...” the person said a little offended
“Oh I called her far worse to her face... so by all means... be me guest” you continued smirking
“I gladly be your guest” the person said pulling a chair over to your table and flopping down trying to steal your coffee
“First and only warning... If you try to grab me coffee again I'm going to shoot your feet with a nailgun” you growled holding your cup out of her reach
“Hello too you to Baijings” now Georgia grumbled feeling left out
“What's up Stanny?” the Netherlands player grinned opting for stealing half of your avocado toast
“May I ask why you crush our breakfast?” your girlfriend asked a little irritated
“Actually just walked past and saw that... sweetheart over here through the windows and thought I'd say hi...” the blonde said before biting into your toast “Shit that's good stuff” she moaned which made you laugh
“Stop moaning like you shooting a porn” you threw your girlfriends words in your friends face laughing
“Sweetie... you know what I sound like when I REALLY moan” the dutch threw back which caused Georgia to choke on her tea
“Excuse me?” your girlfriend coughed
“Get your mind out of the gutter Stanny...” the blonde waved off “... I stayed with Viv in England for a week and so did the gremlin here... apparently the walls were very thin”
“Scarred me for life” you mumbled disgusted before you tried to bite into the other half of your Avo-toasts only to have it taken out of your hand by Jill “Come on now” you whined
“You snooze you lose” the dutch shrugged her shoulders
“G...” you whined looking with puppy eyes at your girlfriend “... por favor”
“Por what?” your girlfriend looked confused
“Damnit... spaniard again.... these paella eating shrimp lovers mushed me brain....” you snipped your fingers “.. please...”
Your girlfriend just sighed and waved the waitress over to order you another avocado toast.
“German sounds so weird...” you said as a matter of fact after the waitress whose Nametag said her name was Dinara left again “... but not as weird as dutch”
“Excuse me?” Jill exclaimed starting to cough a second later
“Please die more quietly on that toast thank you” you smirked satisfied that you threw her off guard
“One day I'll get you back for all those mean comments I tell ya” the blonde pointed an accusing finger at you
“Be... my... guest” you grinned
“Are you happy to wait here Baby?” Georgia asked her voice low as you just found a seat in the shade at the Bayern trainings ground
“Sure... I'm gonna watch you and tell you afterwards if you're able to be a pain to Barca” you grinned and your girlfriend quickly looked left and right before pressing a lightning quick kiss to your cheek
“There she is.. my favorite player” Alexander greeted you happily and came over to hug you for your girlfriend to look absolutely offended
“I'm here too” she huffed out
“We all know she's my favorite... nice work with Rubiales... looked like you got him good... did he need stiches?” the Norwegian asked grinning widely
“Sadly not.. but it was definitely broken” you grinned proudly back
“Such an amazing bitch move” the Trainer couldn't stop grinning
“Thank you... just to let you know... I don't hold back for anyone...” you now smirked
“So Georgia... starting XI the whole season... how does that sound?” the Norwegian laughed understanding you immediately
Your girlfriend just huffed rolled her eyes and turned to leave
“You need more than her if you want to scratch Barcas ego” you looked at him seriously “I watched them train... you need something”
“Giving me tips so we can win over your sister?” the trainer grinned
“No... I'm giving you tips so you can annoy them...” you shrugged your shoulders “They won two titles already... they only have the Coppa and the Champions League left... I want you to at least annoy them... and not annoy them with rough play – I want you to annoy them with your skills... Harder, Eriksson, Stanway, Viggó, Guili... you got good players... use them”
“Give me a little more” the man got serious
“The player you want to have an eye on is Salma... don't let her run – she a freaking sprinter... have a player on her all the time... Caro is fast as well... she always comes over the right wing... her connection to Aitana is unmatched...” you started seriously “... Alexia is dangerous in general – from far, near or in private... don't let her get the ball on her left foot... Ona and Aitana are dangerous because they're small and agile – one second they're on you right and a split second later they're on your right... they all have an amazing ball control... but they're not.. flawless” you pulled a face when you said flawless getting a flashback.
“Thanks y/n... greatly appreciated” the Norwegian nodded and left to start training
You watched the girl train for a bit before closing your eyes relaxing in the shade with the players shouting for the ball or the pass or whatever. Lucy always said since you were a wee baby you were able to fall asleep with thousands of people screaming around you without any problems. When it would be quiet tho you screamed your head off yourself – up to this day you didn't like it when it was totally quiet. So even now it wasn't a problem for you to nap away until you felt a presence in front of you. When you opened one eye you saw your slightly panting girlfriend leaning on the railing smiling at you
“Yeah?” you asked a little dazed
“We're done... I'm heading for the shower... you wait here or outside?” Georgia smiled
“Gonna wait here... got comfortable” you yawned
“Okay... Gonna be quick” your girlfriend smiled pushing herself off the railing walking into the tunnel
You looked around and noticed you were really alone at the trainings facility. You were alone except for a stray ball in the corner. One for being raised with cleaning up a field after training you slandered over to the ball and picked it up. What you didn't expect was that the ball slipped out of your hands and bounces off the ground. Like on autopilot you started to do keep upsies while walking down the sideline. The ball bounced off your feet easily until you didn't got the angle right and it bounced away further into the field. You jogged after it kicking it up again before catching it on your forehead balancing it a little before letting the ball fall again catching it this time with the inside of your right foot holding it there for a second before starting to perform a few tricks.
Unknowns to you Georgia came back wanting to get you so you could go home to find you walking down the sideline playing with a ball. She quickly pulled out her phone starting to record a video when the ball bounced off your foot wrongly and rolled into the middle of the field. Your girlfriend thought you were done know knowing from stories how easily irritated you became at times but to her surprise you kept going. So she kept filming. After watching (and filming) you some more your girlfriend carefully retreated back into the tunnel giving you some more time with the ball for the first time in what felt to you like forever. Even tho you didn't play for over three years know you still could feel it. The way the ball bounces on your foot. The way the grass felt under your soles. The strength you needed to play it higher. You remembered it all.
When you were done you chipped the ball into one of the ball containers on the side of the field before making your way towards the tunnel and the locker rooms.
“Stanway...” you said entering the locker room to find everyone gone except your girlfriend who just dried her hair “... Babe you're still not done??” you whined
“Yeah sorry... got caught up with Guilia” your girlfriend smiled apologetic
“I'm getting hungry” you said and right on cue your stomach rumbled
“Yeah lets go..” Georgia said getting her bag and holding out her hand for you to take
“I thought Chinese...” you said as the door closed behind you not knowing your girlfriend send her video all the way to Barcelona to her best friend who received the message with the capture
When Keira clicked on the video tears sprung immediately into her eyes and she began to silently happy cry
“I think she's home”
282 notes · View notes
fanaticsnail · 2 days
Note
Snail important question;
Of any line-up of characters of your choice-
Who do you think is attracted to competency,
Who is attracted to stupidity,
Who can go either way,
And who is attracted to both at the same time (imagine;
Reader: sorry I'm late I had to fight off two different ships
Them: is that how you got that bruise on your face?
Reader: oh... Actually, I wasn't looking and pulled a push door off its' hinges into my face
Them, kicking off their pants: god you're so fucking stupid, sit on my face
)
Also, I feel like there are different versions of competency and stupidity. Street smarts vs social obliviousness. Book smarts vs functionally illiterate. Strategic/battle smarts vs what-do-you-mean-flashing-the-enemy-isn't-a-valid-distraction?
(Zoro is completely math smart and dumb in every other way)
I could imagine Luffy would be attracted to hyper specific competency. If you're really into a specific thing and good at it and it's your dream he would absolutely love it even if it sounds like you're speaking gibberish to him. He wouldn't even think of it as weird - I mean, no more weird than any other dream he doesn't personally understand - he's certainly not the type to judge based on societal norms. You could talk his ear off about the reproductive habits of different animals and he wouldn't get why everyone else doesn't like to hear it when they're eating but hey more food for him.
Snail. Your asks always know how to get the better of me. Have a series of little drabbles, dear.
Competency, Stupidity, Duality
Masterlist here
Word Count: 410+, 510+, 580+
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Synopsis: They can't help what attracted them to you. No matter what you did, they simply couldn't get enough of you. Their emotions finally catch up with them, and they confess their adoration for you.
Themes: variety x gn!reader, feelings, injury, mentions of battles, finally giving in, all different 'reader' inserts, confessions of love, kid x reader, zoro x reader, killer x reader, angst, fluff, sweetness.
Notes: I wasn't expecting to write this today, but I've been thinking about the big boys lately and I needed to give them some love. Something about trios lately.
Tag List: @sordidmusings @nerium-lil @feral-artistry @since-im-already-here @writingmysanity @indydonuts @gingernut1314 @i-am-vita @carrotsunshine @mfreedomstuff @daydreamer-in-training
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Competency: Eustass Kid
When Eustass Kid noticed how quick and sharp you were to react in life or death circumstances, he was immediately smitten with you. Being a Straw-Hat, your ambitions and dreams were fostered by your playful captain as you sailed aboard the Thousand Sunny. Your ability to interact flawlessly by balancing the combined efforts of the three crews had him intrigued by your charisma. 
Fighting by your side was something he didn’t expect to affect him so much. The way you researched the strengths and weaknesses of all three crews sailing and fighting together was admirable. Asserting yourself by asking Law to push and pull you closer to the fight with the Ope-Ope no Mi ability, while fighting side-by-side with Massacre Soldier Killer in close quarters, had him left wordless.
After the battle finishes, he watched as you hastily aided your crew of their injuries while disregarding your own; putting others first while adding pressure to your hand-gash, hovering it over your head to slow the bleeding. He couldn’t get enough of you. 
He needed you to know how he felt about you, but being in the presence of Luffy and Law always seemed to bring out the more juvenile side of attitude. His simple attraction and infatuation with you had to be revealed to you in due time, but he couldn’t risk sounding like an idiot in front of you. He would have to simply wait until you were alone and unoccupied before he made his move to take care of you after taking care of others. 
Slowly approaching you as you sat down against the tangerine grove aboard the Thousand Sunny, his shadow shrouded your form and prompted you to gaze up into his scarred, sheepish face. Your smile caused his heart to beat harder and his head to swirl with a variety of "what-ifs". Gulping back his insecurities, he knelt down in front of you.
“Let me take care of that for you,” he offered with a soft smirk, “You’ve done so much for others, and I think your hand needs some seeing to.” 
“If you say so, Captain Kid,” you shrug, offering your injured hand delicately to him and listening to his every instruction as he treats you, “I wasn’t aware you had any medical training.” He straps your hand in a bandage, placing down the final ties before holding your injured hand in his.
“I don’t,” he shrugged with a smile atop his painted lips, “But I’ve lost an arm before, and I don’t want to see that happen to you.” 
“You’re-...” he stuttered over his words, gazing at your hand before softly drifting his tired eyes up, “...-You amaze me. Truly, amaze me.” You place your other hand on his, never once removing your eyes from his face as he offers you such kindness. 
“Thank you, sir,” you nod to him with a soft smile, “You amaze me, too.”
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Stupidity: Roronoa Zoro
“Why would you do that?” Zoro roared at you, hovering his body over yours and caging your face-down body within a shield of his own. The gashes on your back were deep, your body weeping out the red essence and staining your clothes with it.
“C-Couldn’t risk yours,” you stuttered out with a soft smile, “H’was gonna g-get yours. Didn’t want you to wear the shame.” His eyes widened, filling with a steam of glossy tears that threatened to spill over the moment you stuttered out your confession. “That’s what you said, wasn’t it? Mark on the back is a swordsman’s greatest shame?” 
Drip. 
Drip.
Drip.
One after one, soft tears spilt down his cheeks and mixed with the fluids pooling at your back. He leaned down towards you, the heat of battle dying down with the swift, flaming kick of the blonde cook and giggling chuckles of your captain, Luffy. 
“You’re a fucking idiot,” he sniffed his sobs back as he leaned down to cage you, “Can’t you see? None of that fucking matters without you here.” He softly, tenderly moved you from your position on the floor to not disturb your wounds. He sat you up, cradling you against his broad chest and openly sobbed for you. 
“When you get better,” he growled into your shoulder, “I will repay you for this. I will pay my debt to you.” His sobs got more desperate, not halting in the slightest when Trafalgar D Water-Law approached the two of you in your embrace. 
“Let me get ‘em to the infirmary,” Law offered, gesturing for Bepo to ready the aid kit, “I’ll treat the wounds there-.” 
“-I won’t leave them,” Zoro barked over your shoulder, your soft smile tugging at your cheeks in your hazy daze. “Let me go with you, Traffy. I won’t say a damn word to distract you, on my honor.” Law nods, raising his hand and spreading his fingers and offers the two words to switch positions within the infirmary: “Room, Shambles.” 
As you drifted in and out of consciousness, you laughed each time Zoro chastised you for your stupidity. Echos of: “There were so many other things you could’ve done instead,” and “You stumbled into that blade like a moron and took that hit for me, idiot.” You giggled through the pain, barely feeling it as Law worked to stitch you together again. 
Upon regaining consciousness, you looked to your moss-haired crewmate and offered out your hand to his bicep. His head was bowed, arms crossed over his chest, and was assumed to be napping by your bedside. Feeling your touch, he was roused from his sleep and immediately leaned forward to bring his face beside yours. 
“You’re a fucking moron,” he huffed, smiling in a melancholy grin. You laughed at his insult, squeezing his muscle before retracting your hand. As you nearly drew it away to your side, he caught your hand and brought your palm up to his lips. 
“My fucking moron,” he confirmed, placing a soft kiss to your palm before using it to cup his face. “I love you.”
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Duality: Massacre Soldier Killer
Staring up into your face while remaining silent, resting his masked face on the heel of his palm, he listened to your recount of a very specific childhood injury that left you with an interesting scar on your thigh. Killer’s eyes never left your face, his cheeks beginning to glow warm and vibrant beneath the shroud of his mask.
“So, let me get this straight,” Captain Eustass Kid held his hand in front of his face and gave it a gentle wave to halt your words, “That sick-looking scar wasn’t from any time you served with Luffy, but because you set off a fucking harpoon and speared yourself in the leg with it?” 
Killer felt himself swoon at the melody your laugh thrust into the atmosphere. He was ever thankful his blue and white mask disguised how much he was smiling beneath the shroud. 
“Yep,” you popped the ‘P’ afterwards, nodding in confirmation as you sat beside Usopp and drew your tankard up to your lips, “But I learnt from it, and it hasn’t happened since.” Killer sighed, his voice almost coming out in a soft moan to reveal his growing infatuation for you. Kid barked out a harsh gaggle of laughter, clapping you on the shoulder with his right hand and gestured for you to reveal it to them.
“Let me see it again, go on,” he chuckled, removing his hand and sitting back on his seat, “Use Killer’s thigh as a prop so we can see it properly. You don’t mind do you, big guy?” Killer absentmindedly and slowly shook his head, tapping his thigh twice with his hand for you to reveal your injury to the captain of the Victoria Punk, himself and your crewmate beside you. 
“Alright,” you shrugged, standing beside Usopp and Killer and gently placed your foot atop Killer’s thigh and began hiking up your shorts to your hip, “Feast your eyes, Captain.” Sure enough, an interesting looking scar was revealed on your inner thigh, clear as day and sure as the sea is salty. 
“Oh, fucking hells!” Kid gave you a hearty laugh, “You seeing this, big guy?” Kid turned his attention to his first mate, his smile only growing as he noticed the angle of Killer’s mask never left your face. Surprise was immediately thrust into Kid’s eyes, noticing the unwavering resolve in Killer’s posture. 
You turned your attention down to the silent and broody first-mate, your face puzzled and eyes searching his mask for any further thought or action. He slowly drew his hands up to clasp around your ankle and calf, holding it firmly as he leaned forward. 
“You’re perfect,” he offered in a breathy whisper, stroking your leg and gazing lovingly into your face, “Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.” 
Your face flushed with a warmth at his words, eyes widening and looking down at his large hands as they held you so tenderly and delicately within his grasp. Smiling, you leaned forwards and placed your hand over his scarred left forearm with mischief in your eyes, asking him a simple question with a suggestive tone. 
“Like what you see then, big guy?” At your question, Usopp nearly choked on his drink. You had never been this bold before, and this came as a shock to your crew’s skilled sniper. He covered his choking with a soft cough, turning away with a downturned smile and stifling his growing laugh. 
“So much,” Killer confirmed, gently caressing your calf and looking up at you through half-hooded blonde lashes beneath his mask, “So, so much.”
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sweetnans · 2 days
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a/n: This could contain some mistakes, english is not my first language. Enjoy 💫
Pt.1
You saw Bakugo flying away, blasting explosions through the air, chasing Midoriya, who was miles away from him. A bad omen twinkling in your guts right after he disappeared from your sight.
You were in the city, trying to help the heroes establish the order again. Helping elders and kids find his relatives again in the middle of chaos, some of your classmates helping you and the other heroes doing some sweeping in the remains of disaster after Shigaraki broke the city in two.
Ochako screamed your name because your quirk was useful in the thing that she was doing. That helped you a lot to keep your mind away from your boyfriend.
He told you we'll be careful and you trusted him with all your heart.
Cleaning the city, evacuating civilians, and watching your back for any villain to appear out of nowhere, made you extremely tired.
You were putting your hands in some wreck from machia destroying everything on his way when an agitated Todoroki stumble in your view.
"Have you seen Bakugo?" He asked right away catching his breath a little bit.
"I saw him fifteen minutes ago flying that way chasing Midoriya," you pointed out to the horizon, and that didn't change Todoroki demeanor, made it worse. "Why?" You grew anxious at his face. Todoroki wasn't the kind of person who wore his emotions on his face, but right now, it was fear all over gaze. "Why Shoto?" Your voice trembled.
"We have to go, right now" he looked at Ochako, and she caught the hint right away.
"I got your back," she said, giving you a little push.
Todoroki grabbed you by your arm and started making a path of ice, sliding in it with you at his back. You ignored the cold and the way that he was going so fast that you almost slipped two times only for him to grab you tighter. You've never seen him act like that, desperate and breaking the rules, not to mention Ochako as well, after what happened in Kamino, you saw a change in her but never expected to cover you two for running straight to something very dangerous without any hero escorting or knowing about.
"Are you okay?" Todoroki shouted in front of you, his voice muffled for the sound of the ice and because he was giving you his back.
"I don't understand what's going on" you yelled back.
"You know your boyfriend," he said, giving you a side eye, "He can be very reckless"
Ok, now you expected the worst.
"What did you see exactly? Where the fuck are we going?" You sounded desperate and you knew that you needed to keep your calm because you were a hero, you needed to act like one but in the other hand, you loved the bastard and you didn't know anything about him and in what state you would find him.
"I think there's something bigger going on in that direction. I'm pretty sure my father is there, and I think that neither Midoriya nor Bakugo should be there. That's what worries me"
He sounded like he was worried. You knew that your boyfriend and Midoriya made him come out of his shell of trauma, and that, even though Katsuki didn't think that, they were friends.
"If your dad is there, maybe they're not in danger. He's protecting them, isn't he?" You asked, trying to see the bright side. At least they were with the number one hero.
"Why do you think my father is there?"
He didn't mean to make you feel dumb but it was a conclusion that you didn't want to come to.
It didn't settle your nerves down, the exact opposite, and it increased when you started to notice the columns of smoke and flames far away, the sound coming straight after that.
"Fucking hell" you muttered to yourself.
You closed your eyes, putting away all your intrusive thoughts and preparing yourself to fight against Shigaraki.
The villain was like an unhinged king Midas, but instead of making gold, he destroyed everything he touched. His capacity to break down everything was absurd, and he seemed undefeatable.
"Hang on!" Todoroki screamed worry laced in his tone.
His path of ice stopped while grabbing you firmly, so you wouldn't trip over him from the impulse. He was still in front of you, blocking every view from you to see. The grip in your arm was hurting, but you didn't have the chance of saying anything before he made a mountain of ice to stop Shigaraki from tearing up Aizawa's face.
You were shocked to see your teacher bleeding and on his knees.
The neurons in your brain connected quickly. He was using his quirk to suppress Shigaraki's quirk. Now that he wasn't able to do that, the situation morphed into one that was ten times worse.
Shigaraki destroyed Todoroki's ice in an instant. You were in the ground when Deku appeared out of nowhere and tackled Shigaraki.
You ran towards Aizawa kneeling at his side to see the damage in his face. He couldn't open one of his eyes, and the bleeding wasn't stopping.
"What are you doing here?" he coughed his answer and put on a worried face.
"We are the back up team, remember?" You tried to joke but you were out of breath.
"Get away from here. It's too dangerous. " He was getting weaker, and you grabbed him, helping the other heroes.
"No chance, sensei. I promise you'll have me in one piece when this ends"
Your quirk wasn't very useful in hand to hand combat. You could grow vines in every part of your body, making them useful for climbing, swinging, catching, and with suitable surfaces, flying, but this time you didn't have any building at your sides to tie up your vines Sero style.
"Why did you bring her here?" You heard Bakugo yell at Todoroki while shooting explosion to Shigaraki.
Todoroki didn't answer.
After a round full of fights, Shigaraki stopped. He was in the center of it while everyone was panting at his side in a prudent distance. Todoroki made his way to his father, throwing him some of his ice so he could cool down and keep fighting. This was far from ending.
Bakugo made it to your side. He didn't touch you in any way. He was just by your side, his chest rising and falling with every breath he took.
"Before you say something," you started knowing that he would call you out for coming. "I'm here to back everyone up. I want you to do your best there and destroy that bitch"
He smiled smugly at your words and gave you a look taking you in.
"You got it princess"
You ran back to Aizawa, wrapping his leg with your vines to cut the bleeding. Midoriya was there losing it. The heroes telling him to go.
"Midoriya," you snapped your fingers at his crying face. "Go"
In your peripherals, you could see Shigaraki ready to touch the ground again when something in his chest exploded, shredding all his skin. He reached his limits.
Everything happened so fast. Midoriya grabbed you all with his quirk lifting you up from the ground before Shigaraki destroyed everyone.
You didn't know that Midoriya could float, and it seemed that the other didn't know it too.
You couldn't let go Aizawa's leg from your vines, so you weren't much of a help trying to secure the others with your quirk, lightening Deku's work. You could keep them floating, but you needed something to tie your vines and there wasn't any building around.
While thinking of ways you could help, Deku left you all in the ground just staying with Shigaraki in the sky.
"Shoto, take care of the wounded" Endeavor said looking at him and then looking at you. "You, help him too"
You nodded and went straight to settle Grand Torino on the ground.
Bakugo started yelling at Midoriya, but you couldn't catch anything he said.
Midoriya started to punch Shigaraki in the air repeatedly, over and over, but the bastard was far from getting unconscious.
"He's going to break his limbs again." Shoto remarked, standing up and watching the fight. You did it, too.
"Todoroki are you done?" Bakugo said.
"Yes, what do you-"
"Come here and hold on tightly,"
Todoroki made his way to Katsuki while he was yelling his plan to Endeavor. He was going to Midoriya to help him get rid of Shigaraki.
With Endeavor and Todoroki at his back, he started elevating, making his way faster to his friend.
Bakugo grabbed Endeavor and throwed him to Shigaraki. Enveavor hugged him, telling everyone to go away. He lit himself up, burning Shigaraki to the core, leaving him roasted like a burned chicken.
Endeavor fell, and Todoroki caught him in the air.
You were out of breath watching everything passing so quickly in front of your eyes. From your position, the scene seemed like it was near to end. You thought that Shigaraki was the next one to collapse from the air.
"Why isn't he falling like Endeavor?" you asked the heroes that were beside you, but they were clueless too.
In a span of seconds, something emerged from Shigaraki's body, aiming straight to hurt Midoriya when the explosions caught your eyes, three to be exact.
Bakugo tackled Midoriya receiving all the impact from Shigaraki's quirk, red spiky blades passing through his arm, chest, stomach, and leg, hurting him bad.
You heard you screaming like it was a third person. You felt your throat getting sore and your vocal chords straining out.
Your vines weakened beside you, breaking loose from Aizawa's leg because you couldn't concentrate on anything other than Katsuki hurt and falling from the sky above you.
You were ready to throw some vines to catch him, but Todoroki grabbed him by his leg holding Endeavor's and Katsuki's weight.
"Hey, we need you here," Lock Hero snapped you from your trance.
You blinked a few times, dissipating the tears you hadn't noticed streaming down your face. You put yourself together and kneel beside Aizawa, wrapping your vines around his bleeding leg.
You tried not to look up. You wanted to keep your vines in position so your teacher wouldn't bleed to death before the EMTs arrived. But the try was worthless.
Midoriya was turning into something you hadn't seen before. He was seeing red. He made his way to Shigaraki, biting the blades until he was in front of him. The villain was able to reach him now, and he absolutely did.
Todoroki screamed, everyone did, even you. Shigaraki was absorbing Midoriya's quirk.
You were midway of keep screaming when all of a sudden something lit up in the sky and blinded you, then, complete silence. Both of them, Midoriya and the villain fell from the sky.
What happened after was something that you were almost unable to explain. The other from the league came and made his appereance venting out some secrets that took you and everyone else by surprise.
Everybody ended wounded, even though that, while taking care of the already wounded, had to interfere. Aizawa and Bakugo, whose heartbeat was steady but faintly, got all your attention. You had to keep them safe.
You were one of the conscious ones while everybody was dropped dead. You helped the paramedics carry the bodies of your classmates and friends using your vines and tucked them safely in the ambulance.
They took you to the nearest hospital, where they checked your vitals and looked up for hidden wounds. You didn't have any.
"I need to see my boyfriend," you almost pleaded to one of the nurses.
When Todoroki dropped Bakugo to your side to keep fighting against his own brother, you leaned on your boyfriend for a while, touching his hair and cleaning the blood from his body, the tears dropping to his uniform. You watched his eyes closed and prayed that he wasn't feeling any pain.
The nurse gave you a sympathetic look. You weren't asking for impossible. You knew he would be fine, and he would give you shit about your look and make fun of you for being a cry baby.
You needed him.
"I'll see what I can do"
That sentence stucked for a few hours. She gave you his room, but the doctors didn't allow you to come in. They said that they were still checking on him.
Mitsuki called, and even though she sounded like she was about to cry, she said firmly to you that you had to punch him in the face the minute he woke up, for being so stupid to get hurt.
You cried a little talking to her, and she told you the same that his son told you just the say before. He would never leave your side.
After two hours, the doctors and several nurses left Katsuki's dorm. You stood up at the sight of them and the doctor just smiled to you.
"I think he wants to see you too"
That took all of your breath away. He was awake.
Joining your hands, you made your way to the dorm while the doctor held the door for you.
You couldn't help but sob at the sight of him. He was connected to several machines, and his body was wrapped around bandages.
"Don't cry," he told you, holding his own tears at the sight of you. "C'mere"
You sprinted at him and pulled the chair to sit by his side.
"Oh no," he said, scooting over his bed. "I need to know I'm not dreaming"
"I don't want to hurt you," you said, doubting if it was a good idea or not.
"It's hurting not having you right here," he pleaded.
He sounded desperate, touch starved. You complied.
Silence flooded between the two of you, only the beeping from the machine echoing in the room and your heartbeat matching his.
"Your mom called. She said she's proud of you, " you told him. Well, you lied to him, but you knew that deep down that was Mitsuki meant.
"She didn't say that shit," he shook his head in disbelief.
"Nah, she said something about you being stupid for risking your life." You looked up at him, and he pouted. He did that face when his mind went cloudy.
"Mm," he hummed in response and stayed still for a moment, caressing your hair and twisting your locks in his fingers while brushing it with them. "I'm sorry"
Katsuki wasn't the type of boyfriend to verbalize his apologies. He was more the type of doing things to fix what he did. His love language was acts of service for rights and wrongs.
"If you are saying sorry for what I think you are saying, sorry, I won't forgive you," you whispered, searching for his eyes to meet yours. "I'm proud of you Katsuki, you did exactly what every other heroe would have done"
"But I broke the promise I made to you," he sounded conflicted. He was a man to his words but he was also a great hero.
"You did what you had to do. You saved not only Midoriya's but many more lives. I know you just woke up, but have you realized what it could've had happened if he hurt Midoriya instead of you? That son of a bitch was acting like some sort of unbreakable loser and after he did that to you Midoriya went nuts, he almost lost his mind using Shigaraki as a punching bag"
He went quiet for a minute and then hugged you with the remains of his strength after a huge fight. You could feel his arms around you, hanging faintly but his grip firm on you, his head against yours.
"It's okay baby, you are okay, I'm okay, everybody's fine," you hummed against his chest.
"When I saw you behind icy-hot, I almost lost it," he blurted. "The first thing in my mind was getting you out of there, getting you as far away as possible, and then I saw how you were helping Aizawa with his leg, and then I realized that you are one of us too. Back there, you were doing ground control, but what if we need you and your quirk fighting next to us?, I can't lose it like I did with you there knowing that you are as capable as me doing this kind of shit, I'm sorry" his voice trembled and you tried to look at him.
"Sorry for what, Katsuki? For caring for me? Please, we saw Shigaraki, how he broke everything in his way. I was scared as shit when I saw you fighting, and when you got hurt, but I do know you too, I know your strength, I know you stubbornness, I know you care for others even if you try to hide it, I would've do the same for one of our classmates and I know it felt more personal to you being that person Midoriya, it's fine, shit like this is going to happen again and again but I'll be here, next to your wounded body everytime and I know if it was me laying here with all these bandages in my body, you'll be here too"
You didn't expect that your speech broke him, but he did, in a Bakugo way. He exhaled the longest sigh that you ever heard, and his heart was beating like it was going to blast out his chest. But he was fine knowing that you wouldn't leave his side anytime soon.
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rafesapologist · 2 hours
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the setback ─ rafe cameron; part eleven
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summary: it's been two years since your departure from the outer banks and rafe cameron has seemingly convinced himself that he can go on with his life as if you never happened, except now more than ever his addiction is at an all time high. whether he was snorting lines of cocaine at wild parties or drowning himself in alcohol to numb the pain, rafe couldn't escape the memories of you. despite his efforts to bury his feelings, your absence lingered like a shadow, haunting him at every turn. meanwhile, you've been navigating life outside the outer banks, trying to carve out a new path for yourself. but no matter how far you've traveled, the memories of rafe cameron still linger in your heart, leaving you with a sense of unfinished business. as you find yourself facing new challenges and opportunities, you can't help but wonder if fate will eventually bring you back to the place where it all began.
warnings: swearing, just mostly angst
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His lips lingered like the final note of a symphony, suspended in the air, resonating with the depth of the situation between you two. His hands were tender and gentle as they cupped your face with the delicacy of a whisper, as if he were cradling a fragile dream. His fingers traced the contours of your cheek feeling the warmth that lingered like the last rays of a setting sun.
The intensity of the moment held you captive, locking away the words that danced on the tip of your tongue. It was as if time itself had paused, allowing you to drown in the depths of his gaze, searching for answers to questions you couldn't bring yourself to ask.
In the silence that stretched between you, there was an unspoken understanding, a silent conversation that transcended words. It was in the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, mirroring the warmth in your heart, and the way your breaths fell into sync, as if they were orchestrating a melody only the two of you could hear.
"I wish we hadn't lost all that time," Rafe's words carried the weight of regret, each syllable heavy with the burden of what could have been. You felt his anguish seep into the air, thick and suffocating, wrapping around you both like a shroud of sorrow. Tears welled in your eyes as you listened to him, his apologies echoing in the chambers of your heart. You wanted to tell him that none of it was his fault, that life had a way of steering its course beyond their control, but the words caught in your throat, choked by the weight of your own emotions.
Despite your eyes squeezed shut to fight back your tears from falling, Rafe continued, "You left this island because of me. And because of that, it led you right into Maybank's arms." He seethed, combing his hand through his hair hysterically as he shook his head at the ground. You could see the war waging in his mind by the depths of his discordant gaze. JJ's name was an acrid bitterness on his tongue, as if the taste of every vowel left a lingering taste of a cruel reminder.
"Things were different back then," you warbled in a hushed cadence, "after everything came out I thought it would be easier on you to not be reminded of me. I thought I was helping you move on."
Rafe gazed at you in bewilderment, as though you had spun a cruel jest. His eyes were wild and frenzied, darting back and forth with manic urgency, as if searching your face for a hint of laughter, a sign that it was merely a joke you were telling him.
"Y/n, you're kidding, right? It was fucking hell when you left here," he let out an unhumored laugh, the sound hollow and pained.
Your heart clenched at his words, the pain in his voice cutting through you like a knife. "Rafe, I... I didn't know. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought you hated me after everything that happened."
"Hate you?" Rafe's voice softened, his anger giving way to raw vulnerability. "I could never hate you, Y/n. I was hurt, confused, but I never hated you. I just... I didn't understand why you left."
You looked down, unable to meet his gaze, tears blurring your vision. "I was scared, Rafe. Scared of what we were becoming, scared of losing myself in all of it. I thought leaving was the only way to protect us both, before we ruined each other."
Rafe gently lifted your chin, forcing you to look into his eyes. "But it didn't protect us. It just tore us apart. And now... now you're telling me you won't do it again, that you won't betray me, but what about JJ? What about everything that's happening now?"
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart. "I told JJ I can't do it. I can't spy on you, Rafe. It's not right, and it won't solve anything. We have to find another way."
He nodded slowly, relief and sadness mingling in his eyes. "Okay. We'll find another way. Just... please, don't leave again. I don't think I could handle it."
"I won't," you whispered, wrapping your arms around him, holding him as tightly as you could. "I'm here, Rafe. I'm not going anywhere."
As you stood in the rain, lost in Rafe's arms, you began to distance yourself from the world. The sound of the rain hitting the wooden planks of the dock created a symphony that seemed to resonate with the depth of your emotions. The warmth of Rafe's embrace, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against yours, and the gentle patter of raindrops all blended into a moment of fragile peace. It was as if time had stopped, allowing you to savor this brief respite from the chaos of your reality.
But the world had a way of intruding, even in the most perfect moments. Your phone began to ring, shattering the illusion of tranquility. You pulled away slightly, the sound pulling you back to reality. Rafe's eyes searched yours, concern etched in his features as he watched you fumble for your phone.
You glanced at the screen and saw Sarah's name flashing, the sound of her ringtone piercing through the night.
"Sarah," you muttered, feeling a mix of urgency and dread. You answered the call, your voice barely a whisper. "Hello?"
"Y/n, where are you? JJ's been looking for you everywhere," Sarah's voice was frantic, a stark contrast to the calm you had just been enveloped in. "He thinks something's happened. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," you replied, glancing at Rafe who was still holding onto you, his eyes never leaving your face. "I'm with Rafe. We're talking things out."
There was a pause on the other end, followed by a sigh. "Okay, but you need to come back soon. JJ's not in a good place, and he's worried sick about you."
You nodded, even though Sarah couldn't see you. "I'll be back soon. Just tell JJ I'm okay."
"Alright, but hurry. And be careful," Sarah added before hanging up.
You slipped your phone back into your pocket, looking up at Rafe with a mixture of apology and resolve. "I have to go. JJ's worried about me."
Rafe nodded, understanding but also reluctant to let you go. "I get it. Just... be careful, okay?"
"I will," you promised, giving him one last hug before pulling away completely. "Thank you for understanding, Rafe. We'll figure this out."
He gave you a small, reassuring smile. "Yeah, 'course."
You let out a sigh of dread as you turned on your heel, lifting your hood to shield yourself from the rain. The urgency of Sarah's call propelled you forward, and you sprinted down the dock, the wooden planks slick and treacherous beneath your feet. The cold rain pelted your face, mingling with the tears you hadn't realized were falling.
You regretted walking there now, with the rain coming down harder and the pressing need to get back to the Chateau before JJ blew a gasket. Your heart pounded in your chest, each beat echoing your rising anxiety. Adrenaline coursed through your veins, urging you to keep running, your footsteps a steady rhythm against the backdrop of the storm.
As you raced through the dimly lit streets of Outer Banks, your thoughts swirled in a chaotic mix of guilt, fear, and determination. You couldn't shake the image of Rafe's eyes, filled with a mixture of hope and sorrow. You knew this was far from over, that your decisions would have far-reaching consequences.
The familiar sight of the Chateau came into view, and you pushed yourself to run faster, your breaths coming in ragged gasps. You reached the front porch and paused for a moment, catching your breath and trying to steady your racing heart.
You slipped inside quietly, hoping to avoid waking anyone. The living room was dark, but you could hear the faint sound of voices from the kitchen. You crept towards your room, hoping to slip in unnoticed, but the floor creaked beneath your feet, betraying your presence.
The voices stopped abruptly, and a moment later, JJ appeared in the hallway, his face a mixture of relief and frustration. "Y/N, where the hell have you been? I've been worried sick!"
"I... I needed to clear my head," you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper. "I just went for a walk."
JJ didn’t quite believe your excuse for leaving, and so he pressed forward, his voice tinged with frustration. "Why the hell would you go for a walk in this weather, y/n? It's pouring out there!"
You flinched at JJ's aggression, taken aback by how angered he was at your disappearance. You knew he was worried, but you didn’t expect him to be so hostile. His anger radiated off him, filling the space between you like a tangible force.
"JJ," you began, your voice trembling slightly, "I just needed some air, okay? I had to clear my head."
"Clear your head?" JJ repeated, his voice laced with sarcasm and disbelief. "Do you even realize what you're saying? You went out in this weather, alone, at night. Do you know how dangerous that is?"
"I know," you said, trying to keep your voice steady. "But I couldn’t stay cooped up inside. I needed to think."
JJ scoffed, still not happy with your answer. His eyes burned daggers into yours, fueled with anger. "Bullshit, Y/N. You know, you've been acting so damn weird lately. You do remember we're together, right?"
His words hit you like a punch to the gut. You took a step back, feeling the sting of his accusation. "Of course I remember, JJ," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I haven't forgotten."
"Then start acting like it," he snapped, his voice rising. "I can't keep doing this, y/n. One minute you're here, the next you're gone. I need to know where your head's at."
You felt a lump forming in your throat, making it hard to swallow. "I'm sorry," you said, trying to hold back tears. "I just have a lot on my mind. Everything with Ward, John B... it's overwhelming."
"Overwhelming?" JJ scoffed again, shaking his head. "You think it's not overwhelming for me? For all of us? We're all in the same boat here, y/n."
"I know, I know," you said, your voice breaking. "I'm trying, JJ. I really am. But it's not easy."
"Well, you're not making it any easier by disappearing like that," he said, his tone softening just a bit. "I need you here, with us. With me."
You looked into his eyes, seeing the hurt and confusion there. You knew he had every right to be angry, but it didn’t make the situation any less complicated. "I'm sorry," you repeated. "I won't do it again. I promise."
JJ nodded, seemingly satisfied by your reassurance. But as he went to pull you into his arms, for some reason, you instinctively backed up a few centimeters. Immediately, you realized you had made a mistake. JJ's expression fell into one of surprise and annoyance.
"What the hell, y/n?" he demanded, his voice laced with hurt.
You took a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. "I'm sorry, JJ. I didn't mean to... I just need a little space right now," you said, your voice trembling.
"Space? From me?" he asked, incredulity and hurt blending in his tone. "I thought we just agreed to be honest with each other. What's really going on?"
"Nothing is going on, I—" you began, but JJ cut you off sharply.
"Cut the bullshit, Y/N! What—are you cheating on me or something? I mean, I get why you did it with Rafe, but I thought we were better than that."
You felt a rush of anger and hurt at his accusation. "I didn't cheat on him, JJ!" you snapped, your voice rising with frustration.
JJ's eyes bore into yours, a mix of anger and betrayal simmering beneath the surface. "Then what the hell is it? You've been acting so damn weird lately. You sneak off, avoid me, and now you won't even let me hold you."
"Because, JJ!" you threw your hands up in defense, feeling overwhelmed by his interrogation. "My feelings have been all over the place since we got back here, and you don't seem to give a shit! You think this place doesn't bring back a lot of memories for me? Because it does, and I am trying to cope with them, but you won't fucking let me do that."
JJ's face twisted with confusion and frustration. "What are you talking about, Y/N? What memories? If you're struggling, why didn't you just talk to me?"
"Because it's not that simple, JJ," you scoffed, crossing your arms defensively. "This entire place is a reminder of my past. So forgive me if I'm 'acting weird,'" you spat, the words coming out sharper than you intended.
JJ looked taken aback, his eyes narrowing slightly as he processed your words. "Your past? Y/n, we all have pasts here. But you don't see me freaking out and running off in the middle of the night," he retorted, his voice tinged with frustration.
You felt a surge of anger rising within you. "You don't get it, JJ. This place, these memories... they're not something I can just brush off. Every corner, every street brings back something I thought I had moved on from. And you standing here, accusing me of cheating, just makes it worse."
"Well, it's nothing you haven't done before," JJ replied, his tone biting and accusatory.
You flinched at his words, feeling the sting of his accusation. "That's not fair, JJ," you said softly, trying to keep your voice steady despite the turmoil inside you. "we were not together and you knew that. Why are you holding that against me? It was two years ago."
JJ scoffed, his frustration bubbling to the surface. "Yeah, well, it's hard to not think about when you keep disappearing and acting all secretive."
"I told you, I'm not doing anything behind your back," you insisted, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and desperation. "But you need to understand that I can't just forget everything that's happened here."
JJ's eyes bore into yours, the intensity of his gaze making you feel even more vulnerable. "Then help me understand, y/n. Because right now, all I see is you pulling away, and I don't know how to fix it."
"There's nothing to fix, JJ. You have to let me figure this out on my own," you asserted, your voice firm and resolute.
JJ's expression softened, a mix of resignation and concern in his eyes. "I just want to help, y/n. I hate seeing you like this."
"JJ, I just... think we need a break from each other right now," you confessed, your voice heavy with emotion. "I'm not in the place to be in a relationship right now, and obviously that's evident to you, too."
JJ's expression faltered, a mix of surprise and disappointment crossing his features. "A break?" he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper.
You nodded, your gaze fixed on the ground. "Yeah, just for a while. I need some time to sort things out, figure out what I want."
There was a weighty silence between you as JJ processed your words. Eventually, he let out a heavy sigh. "Okay," he said, his voice tinged with resignation. "If that's what you need."
You offered him a weak smile, grateful for his understanding. "Thank you, JJ. I'm sorry."
He reached out to touch your arm, a fleeting gesture of comfort. "Don't be sorry, Y/N. Just take care of yourself, okay?"
As you turned away from JJ, the tension in the air was palpable, thick with unresolved emotions. Your heart raced, a mixture of guilt, relief, and uncertainty coursing through your veins. With each step down the hallway, the weight of your decision seemed to grow heavier, pressing down on your shoulders like a burden too heavy to bear.
Tears blurred your vision as you hurried away, the sound of your own footsteps echoing in the empty corridor. You could feel JJ's eyes burning into your back, his unspoken questions hanging in the air like a stormcloud ready to burst. But you couldn't bring yourself to turn around, couldn't bear to face the hurt and disappointment that you knew would be written across his face.
Just when you thought you couldn't take another step, you collided with someone, jolting you out of your spiraling thoughts. It was Sarah.
"Whoa, y/n, are you okay?" Sarah's eyes widened in concern as she steadied you with a hand on your arm. Her warm smile quickly faded when she saw the tears streaming down your face.
You looked up at her, struggling to find the words. "I... I broke up with JJ," you finally admitted, your voice trembling.
Sarah's face softened with sympathy. "Oh, y/n, I'm so sorry. What happened?"
You wiped a tear from your cheek, taking a shaky breath. "It's just... everything's been so overwhelming since we got back here. This place brings back so many memories, and JJ doesn't seem to understand. I felt like I was drowning, and I couldn't breathe. I needed space to figure things out."
Sarah gave you a sympathetic look and sighed, resonation hitting her as she spoke softly, "It's because of Rafe, isn't it?"
You fell silent, looking up at Sarah as tears welled up in your eyes. Unable to hold them back any longer, you nodded frantically and fell into her arms, sobbing onto her shoulder. She held you tightly, offering the comfort you so desperately needed.
"I thought I was over him, Sarah," you choked out between sobs. "I really did. But then when I saw him for the first time again, it all came back."
Sarah rubbed your back soothingly, her voice soft and understanding. "I know, y/n. Feelings like that don’t just disappear. It's okay to still have them. It’s okay to be confused."
You clung to her, the weight of your emotions pouring out as you continued to cry. "I don’t know what to do. Everything’s such a mess. I hurt JJ, and I feel so guilty about it. But at the same time, I can’t ignore what I feel for Rafe."
Sarah pulled back slightly, just enough to look you in the eyes. "Listen to me, y/n. You have to follow your heart. It’s not going to be easy, and people might get hurt, but you can’t live your life based on what others expect of you."
You nodded, wiping your tears with the back of your hand. "I just don’t want to keep making the same mistakes."
"You won’t," Sarah assured you. "You’re being honest with yourself and with everyone involved. That’s the most important thing. And no matter what happens, I’m here for you."
Taking a deep breath, you felt a glimmer of hope. "Thank you, Sarah. I don’t know what I’d do without you."
She smiled warmly, giving you another reassuring hug. "You’re stronger than you think, y/n. You’ll get through this."
You pulled away from the embrace and nodded at Sarah with a small smile, wiping away the last of your tears as you attempted to calm your breathing. "I need to go see Rafe. To tell him I ended things with JJ."
Sarah gave you an encouraging nod. "I think that’s a good idea. He deserves to know where you stand, and you deserve to move forward without any more confusion."
Taking a deep breath, you gathered your strength and turned to leave. The thought of seeing Rafe again filled you with both anxiety and anticipation. As you made your way to the door, Sarah's voice stopped you.
"Remember, y/n, you’re doing the right thing. Just be honest with him and with yourself."
You gave her one last grateful look before stepping outside. The rain had eased to a light drizzle, the cool drops refreshing against your skin. You pulled your hood up and started walking toward Rafe's place, your steps steady despite the turmoil inside you.
The journey felt longer than usual, every step bringing a new wave of doubt and fear. But you pushed through, knowing that this was something you had to do. You needed closure with JJ and a new beginning with Rafe, or at least clarity on where you stood with him.
When you finally arrived at Rafe's house, you hesitated at the door, your hand hovering just inches from the wood. Taking one last deep breath, you knocked, the sound echoing in the stillness of the night.
After a moment, the door opened, and there stood Rafe, his eyes widening in surprise and concern as he saw you standing there, rain-soaked and trembling.
"Y/n, what are you doing here?" he asked, stepping aside as you pushed yourself inside.
You entered, your heart pounding in your chest as you faced him. "I need to talk to you, Rafe. It's important."
Rafe looked at you, a nervous look on his face. His eyes scanned around behind him as if he were looking for something, which made you confused. "Y/n, we can talk whenever you want but right now really isn’t a good time—"
Before he could finish, a female voice came from the shadows of the hallway, "Rafe, who’s at the door?"
Your heart skipped a beat as you peered into the dimly lit corridor, trying to make out the figure approaching. The girl stepped into the light, revealing herself to be none other than Sophia, Rafe's supposed girlfriend. Her eyes widened slightly when she saw you, then narrowed in a mix of surprise and annoyance.
"Y/n?" Sophia said, her voice dripping with disdain. "What are you doing here?"
Your expression fell as you took in the sight of Sophia, a familiar pain surfacing that you thought you had forgotten. Seeing her was a harsh reminder that Rafe had moved on after you left, adding salt to your open wound. The shock and hurt must have been evident on your face because Rafe immediately tried to speak up.
"Y/n, wait—"
But before he could finish, you were already sprinting back down the driveway, the rain mixing with the tears streaming down your face. The dampness of the night mirrored the turmoil inside you, each step feeling heavier as you ran, trying to escape the crushing reality you had just faced.
Your thoughts were a whirlwind. The memory of Rafe's tender words and the undeniable connection you felt with him clashed violently with the image of Sophia standing in his hallway. The betrayal stung deeply, and all you wanted was to put as much distance as possible between you and the pain.
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laurabwrites · 1 day
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WIP I'm Accepting I Will Never Write
My brain has been generating too many Star Wars ideas for me ever reasonably get around to writing all of them, so I'm going to start dumping them on here (maybe AO3 as well, not sure yet) once I've accepted it's an idea I won't get to. So, to start off:
Anakin got Arrested at the Start of the War
In this one, Anakin's massacre on Tatooine was revealed shortly into the war (Qui-Gon Jinn's ghost, A'Shared Hett or Padmé having a conscience, doesn't matter it's not the point of the idea and I don't think it affects the plot). Anakin goes to Jedi jail in the Temple and the war proceeds apace.
At the end of the war, when Palpatine sets off Order 66, the Temple Guard who in another timeline became the Grand Inquisitor lets Anakin out. They would be killing all the Jedi, but somehow the Jedi have been alerted and the Temole seems strangely light on clone troopers they could be using as backup. The Grand Inquisitor knows this, Anakin doesn't. He's been in Jedi jail and has no idea what normal operations in the Temple have looked like for the past three year. They manage to get to the atrium of the Temple with the objective of getting out and rounding up some clone troopers to come back with. Except there's this Tortuga fighting both of them. She's not getting in any hits in on them but this scrappy, can't be more than 16, 17-year-old is holding both of them off while simultaneously organizing the Padawans and Initiates to grab younglings and run.
Then the 212th enters, Cody and Rex frog marching Obi-Wan in.
Which gives Anakin the opportunity to villain monologue about the Jedi Order not understanding emotion, they threw him away, Palpatine recognizes his true power, Obi-Wan will see the destruction of everything he holds dear, blah blah blah. Basically entitled white boy I did no wrong (ignore the dead children), you'll regret being so mean to me (enforcing the consequences of my own actions), ranting regurgitating Palpatine's bullshit about Jedi.
Meanwhile, the Grand Inquisitor is noting that a lot of kids are safely getting the fuck outta Dodge and the 212th is getting some good lines of fire. Why are they letting Anakin monologue instead of enacting Order 66?
Finally as Anakin is winding down, Obi-Wan speaks up: yes but, you see, you made one critical mistake.
Anakin, sneering: oh what's that
Obi-Wan: you hurt your Padawan-sister
Obi-Wan Force pushes Ahsoka and every remaining kid out of range while the entire 212th opens fire on Anakin and Grand Inquisitor.
Inquisitor is dead on the ground (sorry buddy, you were just a plot device to get Anakin out of his cell and show off how badass Ahsoka is with Soreasu mixed into her Jar'dai (I think I spelled those right...)). Anakin is on his Force bullshit, not quite dead, as Obi-Wan, Cody, and Rex come over to check.
Anakin: you won't finish me off, you're a Jedi, you're too weak.
Rex putting three rounds in his chest and three in his head: I'm no Jedi, slaver.
Backstory to get to this scene that slammed into me like a ton of bricks months and months ago:
212th never split the 501st off since Anakin wasn't there to get Knighted. Therefore Fives went to Obi-Wan when he found the chip. Obi-Wan got Shaak Ti to distract the Kaminoans, so Quinlan (or another Shadow, but I like using Quinlan for the known connection to Obi-Wan) could dig in Kaminoans' files and find documentation as well as an emergency counter signal. Obi-Wan dechipped his battalion anyway, not wanting to rely on the counter signal being permanent. They then jammed Coruscant's communications when Cody got the Order from Palpatine. 212th then uses the counter signal on the Corries, as they go to the Temple to grab whatever Masters were on planet. The clones and a fourth of the Council go kill Palpatine as he's declaring the Empire on the floor of the Senate.
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benevolentslut · 19 days
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a thing i see people talk about a lot when it comes to annie + her character redemption is that one guy she spun around from his odm wire, wondering why she would do that, using it to justify hating her. and i've thought about it and i think the best way of summing it up is - she's already conflicted about doing all this horrible shit, and it's already, in her mind, over the line - and i don't think she knows where to distinguish a Second line, especially once emotions get involved. it's the same as when she kicked the crap out of her father and reiner. her emotions pushed her over the line and she lost track of where she should draw it after that point.
in the case of that guy, i think it's not emotion that pushes her to do it, but rather the persona. She believes she's supposed to be the enemy of Paradis, so she plays the part. She's already over the line by killing them at all, and so I think it was a subconscious extension of that - once you're over the line, where do you stop? When you're supposed to play the part at any cost, not going that far could subconsciously feel the same as failing the part.
with all that said - reading comprehension, it's still obviously Wrong of her, that is still a Personal Flaw, she is human 😭 just that i disagree with the idea that it was sadism or enjoyment or anything along those lines, and it's definitely not a reason to Hate her character.
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no1ryomafan · 11 days
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Every time I’m with my irls the subject comes up a lot more cause they’re into more female oriented series but man while it’s given better female rep is just okay-not astounding but not feeding into the more worse tropes of women in anime-I feel really bad for Michiru.
It’s like she’s the more prominent female in getter as she’s probably had the most appearances out of any of the others but I feel she’s never been used to her fullest potential. The manga really felt like Ken didn’t know what to do with her as she just kinda existed and then was killed off, arma just uses her as a plot device, toei I can’t speak fully but I know she’s a support character however given it’s that role and the 70s it only goes so far and in other canons she’s flat out hardly acknowledged. (SVN literally just has her as a cameo)
New is probably her best version but I feel there was some missed opportunities with her as the Hein arc could’ve shown more what was going on in the present and with her but it didn’t have enough time for that, and even if she does have dynamics with the boys hers and Ryomas are very undeveloped as they hardly interacted which is both a shock and a shame as they seemed to be fun in the one ep-ep 2-where they really talked.
And also as much as I like News approach to her characterization it is a shame we hardly ever seen the more traditional version of Michiru be fleshed out, when even if “uwu nice girl” is more basic it can still work and be a good character. Like it made me more sad watching Android Kikaider and seeing Mitsuko who’s basically the same trope as Michiru-down to even LOOKING like her-being a older sister with a dead brother, absent mother and a sus scientist father and be so fleshed out, but Michiru never got that chance.
You can always say “oh maybe in another getter project” but fuck knows when that’ll happen ever man💀
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eveninglottie · 7 months
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bo0zey · 1 year
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being the oldest daughter raised by a narcissistic emotionally abusive father is just…👩‍🍳👌💋
#i don’t know why i always end up crying when i know exactly what to expect from him#the constant belittling then turning around and crying victim on how i ‘hurt’ him bc he can’t accept the fact that he did something wrong#i know i shouldn’t expect anything from him but it’s like this stupid fucking useless part of me during these moments is just#so heartbroken and frustrated because it’s not fair the child in me just wants to have a dad that cares and sees her as a human#nobody fuckjng cares if they hurt me and i don’t care if they hurt me either that’s why i hurt me too#he’s supposed to be my dad he’s my only parent left and he never should’ve been a parent to begin#i can’t believe how easily he turns things on me saying it’s my fault i never come talk to him and it’s like how the fuck#you were barely basically nonexistent the first 5 years of my life then barely there from then on out#how could i ever come to you how could i trust you just because i’m your daughter by blood doesn’t mean you’re not a stranger to me#you’re supposed to be the adult you’re my father you’re supposed to come to me and guide me why are you such a helpless fucking child#i do everything on my own i have nothing to say to you just like you have nothing to say to me#small talk only does so much i don’t want to talk to him i don’t care about our relationship#i’m just literally flabbergasted at the audacity he has to gaslight and manipulate me and ply victim when i’m the one he keeps hurting#it just reinforces the idea that my feelings are invalid my feelings have been invalid to him for the past 23years#i wish i was emotionless and unfeeling i wish he didn’t have the power to affect my emotions so strongly#i’m such a little kid i wish my mom was here i wish someone wanted to protect me and talk to me and at least try to understand me#i can’t wait to be dead i just want this to be over i’m just wasting time taking up someone else’s space#i think the only time i’ll be genuinely happy is when i’m dead#i don’t remember the last time i was actually happy unless i’m distracting myself#i’m constantly maladaptive daydreaming and when i’m not i’m at work trying to be a functioning an adult#but as soon as i’m home i’m back in my dream world where i don’t have to think about me at all#when gerard said When i grow up i want to be nothing at All that man read my my mind#ramblings#vent
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bioswear · 2 years
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[VENT POST / DNREBLOG]
Gotta keep telling myself like, 60% of the HnK fandom is just babies who are like, Barely out of their teenage years (allegedly - I’m not IN the fandom bc im almost 30 and fandom drama anything is stupid and not worth my time) but sometimes I’ll see a stupid take and then it’s like “oh you’re just 19 okay. Ur a BABY in comparison you don’t have the life experience to know better” but man it’s SO HARD to not have anyone on my same intellect to talk about this series 😩
It just feels like a vast majority of readers side with Phos despite all of the equally shitty things they did with the Gems and treat Phos like they fulfilled all of their promises even tho they didn’t? They jumped from one empty, long-winded promise to another and the only way they were ever fulfilled is by someone else who fell into the place that Phos left.
Like, Bort was absolutely correct when they said Phos preyed on their weaknesses and then manipulated them into leaving earth (save for Dia, who had already peaced out-ied), but you all aren’t ready for that kind of taking accountability yet
Also, regarding Phos, the best most recent example I can think of comes from TUA S3; this quote from Five:
You know what they call a superhero who works alone and doesn’t listen to anybody? A villain.
In the perspective of the Gems, Phos is a wild card. Unpredictable, chaotic, powerful, othered. All in all, Phos is basically a superhero relative to the Gems’ usual abilities. They are To be feared, because they [the Gems] don’t understand. Jade even says “I’m sorry I didn’t take the time to understand you” (PARAPHRASE) Phos, whether intentionally or not, lauds this over the rest of the Gems.
[To simplify - Phos is that kid who keeps kicking the back of your chair. Hard. And doesn’t stop when you ask politely]
So like YES - the Gems absolutely suck in that aspect of not really ever understanding Phos based on their formulated, projected image of them. Yes they should’ve made more of an effort to support Phos earlier on, etc etc. BUT at the same time, if their circumstances were also being outwardly manipulated the entire time by Aechmea, then they really couldn’t do much to stop it.
On the flip side, the Gems suck because they’re now dealing with their own butterfly effect of problems coming to light between themselves and their community/culture as a whole because of Phos, who swung at the proverbial bees nest??? That also doesn’t sit well, because it’s reducing the problem to Black vs White; good versus evil, and that’s where I fear people are losing the actual themes of the story in exchange for “durhur my blorbos” brainrot 🙄
[Dont blind yourselves to the ways in which a character does or doesn’t take accountability and responsibility for their actions. It’s what differentiates a hero from a coward; the degree in which a character owns up to their actions is a huge reflection of their personal integrity]
Even if Phos viewed their own actions as noble and worth the effort and troubles imposed on the others, they still acted selfishly. Solo. They saw this big, monumental task that nobody had ever done before and developed so much tunnel vision for it without thinking of how their actions would branch out and affect everyone else around them.
When Cinnabar tells them to drop it for their own sake, Phos does the complete fucking opposite and escalate things. They hear “Don’t do that” and see a challenge to prove wrong.
So I don’t blame Cinnabar for not wanting to go or stay with Phos, since REALLY, this fucking far, Phos never actually thought about Cinnabar other than as a means to fulfill THEIR promises to find them a better job. Cinna even acknowledges that - “if you had just asked to be partners, it would be different” (NOT VERBATIM) - like Shinsha Isn’t fucking stupid, and perhaps is able to see through more of the ruse Phos put up than the other Gems because they lived separately from the community mindset. And also if we’re speaking truthfully, their connection wasn’t even that deep beyond shipping lenses. Phos never took the time to really get to know Shinsha or understand what THEY wanted. Phos imposed what they thought Shinsha wanted.
Anyway Jesus fucking Christ I have a lot of thoughts and analysis now that I’ve reread Houseki at an older age - there are a lot of moments and events that I didn’t fully understand when I first read it. But boy there are so many more things I get now that im older :’)
Also all attempts at starting “fandom drama” with me will be ignored :) because I literally don’t care about the petty trivialities of fandom drama.
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My eleven year old brother is literally more helpful around the house than my dad. With him at summer camp, there’s more chores to do around the house. When my dad’s not here, there’s less mess.
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jankillbride · 3 months
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I’m rereading mob psycho cause I need some motivation in my life and the parallels between dimple and Reigen are just like ough to go through again.
#it’s kinda insane#ok not super insane but it just hits you in the face#Reigen talking about how LOL wasn’t helping anyone just making people dependent on dimple so mob did a good job#dimple talking about how he wants to understand mob better than anyone else because then mob will depend on him#and dimple gets access to that power#it’s 1. a glimpse into if Reigen had been worse and 2. shows why the story needs to happen#Reigen is dependent on mob for business sure but ultimately he can pick himself a life apart from mob#separation arc showed that because he was the one who chose to apologize and chose to do community service and he decided himself to just#step the fuck up#if Reigen were cut off from early in the manga he’d probably be the same too.#but like. dimples thing about dependence is not wrong#mob is very much dependent on Reigen for making sense of these emotions. which to a degree makes absolute sense#outside of his powers being a thing he’s a kid. kids are figuring everything out for the first time#but it doesn’t change the fact that mob was dependent on Reigen for this kind of. emotional need? is that the word?#Reigen is someone he trusts to know things and so it’s imperative that trust isn’t really broken#because then mobs foundation will shatter#it’s also a hint of a possible future when Reigen describes group psychology stuff in regards to LOL#they’re all smiling and laughing in the cult but outside the meetings they get more and more anxious and that’s why they return#that’s why they probably search for a god other than lord dimple when they’ve been ‘freed’#freed in the sense that the effect of cult psychology is still there but dimple is gone#in another world if Reigen failed mob would have found another mentor#also who’s to know what would’ve happened if the dependence did not occur and mob didn’t block his powers.#anyways that’s why I’m very much for the ending of mob getting his own life even tho Reigen isn’t super prominent in it anymore
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brucewaynehater101 · 3 months
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AU for Bats and the JL
When Duke joins the brigade, the Bats are ecstatic to introduce him to the JL. Why? None of the JL actually believe that the Bats are non-meta humans. Are they supposed to believe that Batman can do all that he can because he trains really hard?
The JL is so convinced that the Bats are lying about not having powers that they've included it in New Member initiation. It's considered "rude" and "mean" to call out Bats on their very obvious power usage. In fact, guessing Bat powers is half the fun! They gather all of the non-Bat members to have potluck discussions about it.
Obviously, the Bats are well aware of these meetings. They have their own gatherings where they laugh at the suggestions or come up with strategies to fuck with the JL.
For Bruce, the JL is convinced that the man has control over shadows as well as increased mental compacities. Bruce is way too skilled in disappearing in a room full of people with enhanced senses. Also, he knows facts about almost every subject.
For Dick, that man should not be able to move like he does. He either doesn't have bones or has increased elasticity. Dick's favorite JL memory is crawling down the Watchtower halls with his joints in weird places. Green Arrow's scream is forever recorded and backed up into five different servers.
At first, the JL thought Jason had emotional manipulation capabilities. The hope, courage, and passion he inspired could not have been naturally occurring. Then, after he re-emerged as the Red Hood, obviously his powers are resurrection -_-
Tim? Kid's a cryptic ancient creature. The creepy kid will stare at you without blinking throughout a two hour meeting. Stay away from him and don't piss him off.
Steph nearly laughed herself into a coma when someone tried to convince Hal that Spoiler gets her power from the color purple. Her switching to Robin's costume caused a riot and the JL members frantically scheduled an emergency non-Bat meeting. Should they intervene with Bruce forcing her to wear a costume without aid to her powers? The few months she was Robin were tense for the members.
Damian has an ability to understand martial arts on an unparalleled level. What other non-meta ten year old can utilize a sword so effectively?
Cass is an entity. They don't know what she is, but they fear her all the same.
Barbara is all-knowing. Her ability to collect information and navigate technology can not be naturally occurring.
Now, the JL is faced with the first Bat to admit he has powers. Does that mean none of the others have powers? Is Signal's just too obvious to deny?
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ja3yun · 1 month
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please be real | p.js
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ex!jay x fem!reader warnings: angst, heartache, smut (mdni), fingering, unprotected sex, cream pie, teasing, pet names (princess, baby), crying, mentions of alcohol, drunk jay, pure heartbreak in the beginning, not proofread, anything else lmk synopsis: after a six-year relationship, you and jongseong part ways due to different needs for the future. when jongseong's first birthday post-breakup arrives, his struggle with your absence reaches a breaking point, prompting a late-night call from his friend that consequently reignites emotions and unresolved feelings. wc: 9.4k a/n: hi! it's me and it's jay's birthday so i wrote him a little something something. i didn't initially intend to rip my heart out as i wrote this yet here i am. this was oddly a healing one to write but i must warn you it does mention the reader not wanting to have children so if that doesn't appeal to you then this probs isn't the fic for you! as always, like, comments, feedback, etc. is all appreciated! ilysm and happy bday jay <3
A sharp, jarring noise pierces your ears, the peaceful sleep you were in rudely disrupted. You groan out loud, covering your face with your covers but it does nothing to stop the ringing from your phone, it doesn’t even dull it a little, the little black device only echoing around the room louder.
Disoriented and groggy, you fumble for your phone on the bedside table, clumsily searching for it in the darkness. It isn’t your alarm, the usual peaceful tones of the birds chirping would be a welcomed sound, one that eases you into the day; no this was a phone call.
Finally grasping your phone, your eyes fight themselves open as you blink away any remnants of sleep, trying to find any sort of centre from your dizzy awakening. You look at the name on your phone but your vision is so blurred you can’t make it out but answer it anyway, knowing that whoever is phoning at this ungodly hour is clearly in need of your help.
“Hello?” you ask quietly, as if you don’t want to disturb the quiet of the night, unlike the person on the other end of the call.
“Uh, Y/N? It’s Jake.” His soft Australian accent drifts from your phone speaker into your ears. He sounds unsure whether he is supposed to be making the call, which to be fair, you understand because you haven’t heard from him in months, not after…
Letting out a sigh, you rub your forehead with the base of your palm tiredly, “Jake, why the fuck are you calling me at…” you pull the phone away, inspecting the time now that you’re more alert, “3.36am?” you ask with a hint of disdain. Normally, you would welcome the boy’s surprise call, after all, you did miss him. But considering he woke you up from a good dream involving you, Jeongin from Stray Kids, and a happily ever after; he wasn’t exactly your favourite person right now.
You can faintly hear some music in the background as he stays silent and you swear to yourself if this is to give him a ride home from a concert turned party, you’ll have his head.
“Listen, I hate to ask you this but can you come to Haven?”
“The nightclub? Why?” Your earlier suspicions are proving to be right, he does want a lift home. That would be an acceptable request if you guys were actively talking every day and the best of buddies but he isn’t even your friend, not really. 
You can hear him shuffling around on the other end of the line, his voice can be heard trying to calm someone down but his words are obscured as if the phone is wrested away from his mouth, leaving only disjointed fragments of speech drifting through the receiver. 
This sounds like more than just a simple ride home and it causes you to snap to attention, your senses heightened with concern. 
Jake finally brings his attention back to you, letting out a sigh of discontentment, “It’s Jay, he’s a mess and he’s calling out for you.”
Jay. Park Jongseong.
It’s been so long since anyone has dared to mention his name to you that it almost sounds like a foreign word.
Seven months ago, you and Jongseong had decided to call off your 6-year relationship, both of you reaching the understanding that it was for the best considering your battling differences and needs within the relationship.
It wasn’t easy, the furthest thing from it actually. You and him had been inseparable since high school and once you both got together in year 12, it was always you and him against the world. He was the love of your life, that once in a lifetime kind of love that only happens in fairytales. Your souls were both painted from the same brush stroke.
But he wanted a peaceful, routine life - a classic white picket fence dream. Evenings would be spent with friends, savouring white wine and casual conversations over dinner. His heart was set on imagining the echoes of your future children's laughter filling your home, family trips to the seaside, and comforting them with kisses and band-aids when they got hurt.
And you craved spontaneity, to embrace life with vigour, travelling the world together was your dream, free from the responsibilities of parenting, cherishing moments just for yourselves. You longed for random midnight trips to Tesco for birthday cake simply because you could. All you wished for was to be with him, just the two of you.
Suddenly, your brain clicks into an important detail and you hurriedly check the calendar on your phone and the date makes you slump in your bed.
Today is Jongseong’s birthday, well technically not anymore given the time, but that means he has lived his first birthday without you by his side in so long. You would always celebrate his big day by doing something from his handwritten bucket list he has had since he was a child. Over the years he has added more to the list, each birthday scoring one out to add another.
The list wasn't extravagant; it was filled with simple yet heartfelt desires. You bought him a bundle of guitar lessons and a Taylor 114e electric guitar to fulfil his wish of learning to play. When you noticed the Download Festival marked with gold stars on his list, you surprised him with tickets for the year Metallica was headlining. And when he expressed a desire to cook a meal from scratch for his mum, you gifted him a kitchen knife engraved with his name and took the time to teach him how to prepare her favourite dish.
His birthdays were the most precious when you were in them, and you weren’t there with him.
“Y/N?” Jake’s sweet voice draws you back to his attention and out of the memory lane swirl your brain has put you in. He knows this is a tough call for you to take considering you and Jongseong said to cut ties completely; it’s better to act like you both didn’t exist than keep a thread tethered to one another that would only hurt you more.
As Jake and Sunghoon whisked Jay away for his birthday celebration, their intention was simple: to help him let loose and have a good time. Jay had been buried in overtime work lately, leaving little room for socialising. Since the breakup, the idea of going out without you - dancing together, stealing kisses in the taxi ride home - seemed unappealing.
Waking up that morning, Jay realised it marked the first birthday in six years without ticking something off his bucket list. The familiar, worn paper lay dormant on his desk, a stark reminder of your absence. He had no desire to celebrate today without you by his side. If he could fast-forward through the day to escape the weight of his birthday, he would eagerly do so.
Yet, with two very persuading friends and a whole lot of whiskey later, here he was, curled up outside Haven, yearning out for you.
“Y/N please, at least come and convince him to get up and come home with us,” Jake pleads. You can hear the cries of your ex-lover more clearly now as Jake kneels beside his friend, checking in on him.
With a resigned sigh, you nod, “Okay. Keep him warm, I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”
Hanging up the phone, you quickly put a brush through your hair and change into a baggy top, one you bought for Jongseong before breaking up, and a pair of grey sweatpants. This is a bad idea, you know it is, but you also can’t leave him to wallow in the middle of the street. You don’t think you could live with yourself if you didn’t help and Jake wouldn’t call unless it was something he couldn’t handle. 
You don’t want to see the state Jongseong is in, his wailing cries that you could slightly hear over the phone already made your heart clench in hurt.
As you drive to Haven, your heart races in anticipation with each mile that passes. Is your heart ready to face him after all these months? Staring into the love of your life’s eyes once again might break you even more. You’ve done a good job in keeping yourself together, at putting on a facade that everything is okay, when deep down you know that if one person asked you about Jongseong you would crumble and fall apart. 
He wasn’t the only one throwing himself into work to forget. You’ve worked hours and hours trying to keep your mind off the heartbreak, you thought that if you just focused and kept your head down, the phrase time heals all wounds would kick in and you’d be free of the torment of losing your first love. But it hasn’t worked out that way, you know that now as you speed down the empty roads to console the one person you are trying to forget.
As you reach Haven, you can vaguely see three boys under the illuminating sign, almost as if shining a spotlight on them to add to the spectacle that Jongseong is making. Onlookers are watching as your ex-boyfriend cries on the pavement, wishing you would come home.
With a quick exhale, you step out of the car before doubts can creep in, determined to be there for him. Jake and Sunghoon's voices float to you, attempting to soothe him and inject some sense into the moment. Bracing yourself, you approach, ready to offer whatever comfort you can, despite the storm of emotions swirling within you.
Sinking onto the balls of your feet, you lower yourself to Jongseong's level, meeting his strained figure. Instantly, the sight of his distress instantly shatters your heart into a million pieces.
An abundance of tears cascades down Jongseong's reddened face, obscuring his features like a relentless waterfall. His clenched jaw and the prominent vein on his forehead portray the intensity of his distress as he struggles to draw each laboured breath. Curled into himself, his body seems to contort with the weight of physical agony, mirroring the emotional pain that ripples through his trembling form. He’s been keeping this in for so long that his body doesn’t know how to cope with it.
Reaching out to grab his clenched fist, you shuffle forward, “Jjongie? It’s me, baby, look at me,” you say calmly, trying to reassure him with your soft voice.
As your fingers gently encircle his clenched fist, Jongseong's body tenses at the touch. Slowly, he turns his gaze towards you, his eyes bloodshot and filled with an overwhelming mixture of sorrow and longing. For a moment, there's a flicker of recognition in his eyes before they cloud over again with anguish.
He doesn’t believe you’re actually here, considering the long nights where he has conjured up the idea of you, clinging to his imagination on the lonely nights he wishes for your touch. But as you squeeze his hand, he realises this isn’t a dream-induced sighting, you’re really here in front of him.
"Y/N..." he murmurs, his voice choked with emotion. Tears stream down his face in torrents, some landing on your hand that holds his. His cries reverberate through the air, each wail a sharp stab to your chest.
Cupping his cheek, you settle yourself between his legs, ignoring the discomfort of the rocks beneath your knees, your focus solely on him. With a sad smile, you attempt to mask your own anguish, your touch a gentle reassurance amidst his storm of emotions.
"Hey, hey, enough of that now," you hush him softly, your voice a soothing melody in the tumultuous night. Using your thumb, you tenderly wipe away his tears, though they continue to flow unabated.
He leans into your touch, “I miss you so much, Y/N, please. Please,” he pleads as you feel his warm breath against your skin as he nuzzles into your palm, seeking solace in the familiar sensation he's been yearning for.
It’s hurting you just seeing him like this, the man you once knew to be strong-willed and resilient, keeping his emotions under control unless he’s sharing sweet vulnerable moments with you under the covers, is now a shell of himself, stripped bare by the weight of grief.
Turning your face to look at Jake, you offer him a small smile, “I’ll take him home.”
“You sure?” Jake asks, knowing that it’s a dangerous game for you both if you do.
“Yeah, I don’t think he’s going to move unless I do,” you chuckle sympathetically but there’s a bubble in your throat as Jongseong’s whimpers flow into your ear from beside you.
Nodding, Jake gestures to Sunghoon, silently enlisting his help in the task of ferrying the drunk man to your car. The weight of Jongseong's limp form proves cumbersome as you all struggle to navigate his dead weight, his limbs hanging heavily without offering any assistance.
"Let's get you home," you murmur softly, your hands pressing gently against Jongseong's chest to steady him, aided by his friends who lift him onto their shoulders.
His eyes lock onto yours, an intensity burning within them. "Please be real," he whispers, his voice trembling with desperation. Despite feeling your touch and catching hints of your scent, doubt gnaws at him. If this is merely a figment of his imagination, he knows he'll never forgive himself. You're so close, so tangible - it has to be you.
With much struggle, the three of you get him to your car, putting him gently in the backseat so he can lie down, but he wraps his arms around your waist as his legs stay situated outside of the vehicle, holding you close to him.
"Come on, Jjongie, lie down for a minute," you coax gently, guiding him to stretch out along the seats. But he remains unmoving, clutching onto you as if fearing you'll slip away if he lets go. With a soft sigh, you stroke the back of his head, your hands moving in a soothing rhythm. "I promise, I am not going anywhere," you whisper, your words a tender vow to him.
Yet, your attempts to reassure him seem to go unheard. His face burrows deeper into your stomach, his words muffled by the fabric of your t-shirt and the weight of his tears.
You exchange a worried glance with Jake and Sunghoon, “How much did he have to drink?” you ask, scared of the answer they will give. Your ex-boyfriend has always been so good at holding his liquor that it must have been a hefty amount he consumed.
“Like two weeks' wage worth,” Sunghoon winces, his neck tightening as he looks at his best friend.
"Oh, baby..." you sigh softly, feeling a wave of empathy wash over you. Returning your attention to Jongseong, you press a tender kiss to the crown of his head, hoping to offer some comfort amidst his distress. His response is to cling to you even tighter, his sobs echoing against your chest as he seeks solace in your embrace.
You need to get him home, he’s a mess and the longer he stays like this, the more his body is going to wear out. 
With a gentle hand, you stroke his hair, your touch a soothing caress against his trembling form. Despite the chaos swirling around you, you find a semblance of peace in this intimate moment, anchored by the bond that still lingers between you.
"I've got you, Jjongie," you whisper softly, drawing back as he eases up his grip on you. His friends go to help you but you halt them with a firm gesture, "You guys can go, I've got it from here."
Sunghoon shakes his head, concern etched on his face. "He's too heavy, Y/N. You won't be able to manage him into the flat without us," he protests.
But you stand your ground. This is your and Jongseong's mess, and you can’t let others help you clean it up, "It's okay. You guys have done your shift for tonight. Go home," you insist, your voice resolute.
Reluctantly, Sunghoon and Jake nod and bid you goodnight before going their separate ways home, leaving you alone with Jongseong and the weight of your shared history.
Taking a deep breath, you hoist him in, his body listening to you a little more now that you’ve reassured him you aren’t leaving him. He sprawls over the backseats and lays still, the alcohol consuming him into some form of comatose now that he has relaxed slightly.
You slide into the driver's seat, the engine humming to life beneath you. Glancing at Jongseong's slumbering form in the rearview mirror, you steel yourself for the journey ahead.
_____
Arriving at his house makes you more nervous than before. This wasn’t just his flat, it used to be your shared home, the place you lived for 2 and half years and made countless memories in.
You were the one to move out and find your own place, thinking it was best since your work was further away and you could find an apartment closer to it. But the truth is, you just couldn’t face being reminded of him in each room and in the pieces of furnishings.
It was selfish of you to leave him with the remnants of your relationship surrounding him, all you thought about was you and your needs, neglecting to think about how he might feel being surrounded by nothing but memories.
Lugging him into the flat, his legs are working in tandem with you now unlike before but he still isn’t proving to be the easiest person to carry. The last time you had to hold his weight like this was when he got drunk at your prom after taking sneaky shots in the hotel garden with his friends. It was funny but you blame him for some of your back pain that you’ve endured in your early twenties.
As you push open the door and step into the living room, a wave of nostalgia washes over you like a tsunami. Though only seven months have passed, it feels like a lifetime since you last stood in this space with him by your side. Everything remains unchanged, frozen in time since the day you left. The same couch sits in its familiar spot, adorned with throw pillows and blankets you bought for last season. Photographs of you both, captured during Christmases and holidays, adorn the walls, each one a snapshot of happier times. Even the vase that his mum had gotten you both for your housewarming gift, one that you loved and he hated, remains in its pride of place on the mantlepiece.
You push your thoughts down and make your way to your once-shared bedroom, walking through the memories and heaving your ex-boyfriend along slowly. His nose nudges into your hair, sweeping in your scent as he loses himself in the feeling of you.
As you reach the familiar threshold, you can't help but feel a pang of bittersweet longing. This room, once a sanctuary where you both shared your laughter and bodies, now serves as a poignant reminder of the love you've lost.
Gently, you ease Jongseong onto the bed, sitting him up, “I’m going to get you some clean boxers okay?” you ask him but he’s not here, not really, so you make your way to the drawers on the other side of the room.
Walking over, you spot a familiar t-shirt lying crumpled on your old side of the bed. You make a b-line to investigate it and as you pick up the crumpled t-shirt, a flood of memories washes over you, transporting you back to simpler times. Your fingers trace the familiar fabric, still faintly carrying the scent of you, now mingled with his cologne. You piece it all together pretty quickly, the way it still smells faintly of you but is not starting to be overpowered by his cologne. He hugs it at night to find peace of mind.
“Oh, Jjongie,” you sigh, heart reaching out to him. You’re no better, you have one of his hoodies that you snuck into your luggage as you packed and wear it when you’re at home. Just like your t-shirt, his hoodie is starting to lose its scent from the amount of times you’ve hugged yourself to sleep in it.
Jongseong has always been reserved, his emotions carefully guarded behind a facade of reason and rationale. To see him like this, vulnerable and raw, strikes a chord deep within you. If he had always worn his heart on his sleeve, perhaps it would be easier to understand. But the complexity of his emotions only serves to deepen the ache in your chest.
You place the t-shirt back on the pillow before opening the dresser drawer and retrieve a clean pair of boxers, his favourite ones with the faded Hellow Kitty print that you've always teased him about.
Gently, you begin to undress him while he rambles incoherent nonsense that you can’t understand between the mix of tears and drunk slurring. The top half is easy but the bottom half proves difficult as he only looks up at you, whispering pleas as he stares at you, keeping his bum firmly sat on the edge of the bed.
As you finally manage to remove Jongseong's jeans and boxers, leaving him naked, a new layer of vulnerability settles over the room. He sits before you bathed in the soft glow of the hallway light, his silhouette outlined in the darkness.
His beauty, illuminated by the faint light, is both captivating and heartbreaking. The familiarity of his form, once etched in your memory, now lays before you in the flesh, a tangible reminder of the love you still harbour for him. How could you not still love him? He was perfect in every way possible.
"Stay with me," he whispers, his voice a gentle plea as his hands begin to roam your sides, tracing the contours of your body beneath your shirt. Each touch ignites a flurry of sensations within you, sending butterflies fluttering in your stomach.
He pulls you onto his lap, your sweatpants becoming the barrier between his cock and your pussy. Yet, none of you are really thinking about that right now, all you both want is to hold one another again.
“Jongseong, we broke up, and for good reason,” you rationalise with not only him but yourself as you find yourself sinking into his touch as his hands roam your back.
Nuzzling his nose against yours, he begins to cry softly again, his face rubbing itself against yours as his tears transfer from his cheeks to yours, “Please, baby, don’t leave me,” he mumbles as his lips ghost over yours. 
He doesn’t just mean tonight, he means forever. A tear from your eye cascades down your face, getting lost in the mixture of his, your empathy for him overwhelming you because you feel the same way he does. You need him in every way, you need to be close to him, to feel his heart beating in synch with yours once again.
But you know better than this. You’re both just prolonging heartache if you succumb to being with him again. You can’t give each other what you need.
“Baby, don’t do this,” you beg him, knowing that he has the power to pull you back into his life with the click of his fingers, that resolve you have worked so hard to build up now hangs in the balance, “Let me get you changed and then into bed, yeah?”
Reasoning with him is a lost cause, his arms now hugging you tightly like before as he ignores your suggestion. The last thing he wants is to put on those boxers because he knows when he does that you’ll leave. 
"Please, Princess," his voice is raw with emotion, his desperation palpable in the air between you. And as you look into his eyes, you see the depth of his longing mirrored in your own. 
His plea hangs in the air, a heavy weight pressing down on your already burdened heart. You feel torn between the overwhelming desire to give in to his request and the harsh reality of the situation.
With a deep breath, you summon the strength to gently extricate yourself from his embrace, feeling the weight of his disappointment lingering in the air. His hurt expression tugs at your heartstrings, but you shake your head firmly, "Just tonight, okay?" you assure him, your voice soft but resolute.
Curse you and your heart that caves into his pleas so easily.
You disregard getting him dressed and instead, remove your sweatpants and replace them with those very boxers you planned to adorn him with and swap out your t-shirt for the one on your old pillow. Jongseong clumsily climbs into his covers, getting comfortable and finding some happiness in the fact that you’ll be in his arms at least for a little while. 
Once you climb into your side of the bed, he instinctively hugs you from behind, the comfort of your body pressed against his. He spoons you, tucking his face in your neck as he exhales in contentment. This is all he has been craving since that night you left and he couldn’t be happier. All the turmoil and anguish from earlier slowly depletes as he finds himself sinking into a much-needed sleep.
You can’t deny you feel the same, his arms wrapped around you feel like home, like you’ve been on a seven-month business trip and you’re now finally back where you belong. You sink into him further, relishing his skin against yours.
“Happy birthday, Jjongie,” you whisper, bringing his hand up to kiss it before intertwining your fingers with his.
_____
Waking up, Jongseong feels like his whole body has crashed into a brick wall. His bones ache and his head feels tight, but there is a weight that feels so familiar yet foreign, his legs tangled around something and his arms holding it close. This feels different from the t-shirt of yours he clings to every night, this has more substance.
Please don’t be some random girl he thinks to himself, scared to open his eyes. 
Even if he did want to open them he couldn’t because they are being held together so tight by something. Was he crying last night? Actually, what even happened last night?
He replays the fragments of the evening in his mind, a few scattered images begin to surface - Jake and Sunghoon dragging him to Haven, the raucous atmosphere of the bar, and the ill-advised decision to ride the mechanical bull. And then nothing.
As he tries to recounter the night, you see him attempt to pry his eyes open and decide to help him out. Swiping your thumb over his eyes, you wipe away the mix of his dried-in tears and sleep. He looks so confused when you touch him and his body tenses.
Either he is having a severe case of hallucinations to the point where he is starting to physically feel you or the girl that he took home last night resembles your touch. God, how he hoped it was the first one. 
Opening his eyes with your help, he blinks away the blur and sets his eyes on your face, his expression reading one of relief that quickly turns into astonishment.
“Y/N? Baby?” he whispers, his hands instinctively reaching for your cheek, “Please be real.” The same words he pleaded out last night leave his lips again. Jongseong has spent so many nights dreaming of you, wishing in an alternative universe that he can hold you again, so much so that this doesn’t feel real.
You don’t know what to say but obviously, you have to say something. It was one thing to confront drunk Jongseong who didn’t have a wit about him but now it feels like there’s a boulder on your chest as you try to conjure up the courage to speak to a sober, semi-alert Jongseong. 
All you can do is nod, no words escaping your dried lips. You look down to see you and his limbs mangled together just like they used to be, the feeling of his body pressed so tightly against yours almost feels like heaven.
He takes in the sight of you, the lines of disbelief on his features soften, replaced by a glimmer of hope. Slowly, almost tentatively, he reaches out to you, his fingers brushing against your cheek as if to confirm your presence.
The touch sends a jolt of electricity coursing through you, he’s caressing your cheek so tenderly it reminds you of the time you had the shift from hell and Jongseong held you the whole night, whispering sweet words into your ear and stroking your tears away, just like this.
Except there are no tears this time, you’re all cried out - months of mourning the loss of your relationship will do that to you.
As Jongseong's eyes meet yours, a flicker of recognition passes through them, followed by a wave of embarrassment. His voice is soft as he speaks, a hint of uncertainty lacing his words, "What are you doing here?" he asks, his tone laden with confusion.
"You got pretty drunk last night," understatement "And Jake asked me to come pick you up."
You can feel the tension in the air as Jongseong processes your words, his expression a mixture of shame and regret, "Sorry, I don't usually drink that much," he murmurs, his voice tinged with remorse.
The explanation stings, not because Jongseong has been drinking more, but because of the distance it creates between you. It's as if he's explaining himself to a stranger, rather than to the person who once knew him better than anyone else. The past six years you’ve known how he knows his limit and that he doesn’t tend to breach it, not subconsciously. 
All you do is nod, accepting his explanation as you slowly start to detangle yourself from him, “I better get going.”
“Y/N, please let's talk,” he pleads as his voice wavers, his grip tightening around your waist, and his desperation palpable as he pleads for your attention. But you've made up your mind, and no amount of persuasion can sway you from the path you've chosen.
"Jongseong, please, let's not do this," you implore, your voice tinged with a mixture of sorrow and resolve, "We're only going to hurt ourselves again."
You both know the reasons behind your breakup are deeply rooted, immutable truths that cannot be changed. It's not a matter of cheating or petty disagreements—this is about fundamental differences in desires and aspirations for the future.
But Jongseong refuses to accept defeat, his forehead coming to rest against yours as he breathes his love out, "Princess, we can work it out, I know we can," he insists, his words heavy with sincerity.
You steel yourself against the onslaught of his love, knowing that to give in would only prolong the inevitable pain, "We want different things, Jjongie," you remind him gently, your voice tinged with regret.
“I can do without them. It’s you I can’t live without…I can’t breathe without you here by my side.” His words are sincere and you know it, but you can’t accept it. When you both discussed your future, he looked so excited at the prospect of kids that your heart broke instantly. You knew right away that you couldn’t give him what he wanted most.
Closing your eyes and sucking in the bottom of your cheeks, you steady yourself to have this conversation yet again, “You can’t give up the idea of having kids. Having the life you want is much more important than me. You can find someone who can give you that.”
It hurts to say but you need to rip the bandaid off quickly. 
“You think I want that life with anyone but you?” His voice raises lightly, hinting at the anger rising into his chest. He needs you to listen to him, to understand him, “Y/N, if it’s not with you then I don’t want that life.”
Shaking your head determinedly, you sit up, “But I can’t give you that life, it’s not what I want.” You feel like you’re reliving the argument that ended it all those months ago.
“That’s okay.”
“No, It’s not,” It’s your turn to get angry, your eyebrows lacing together as you try to read him. How can he say all of this so easily? Like he wasn’t trying to promise you that he would change his entire life plan just to be with you. Is it romantic? Sure, but it’s also fucking stupid. No one should change just to keep someone they love because if they were meant to be, then their values would align…right?
"It's not that simple, Jongseong," you argue through the silence, your voice tinged with frustration, "You can't just sweep aside your dreams for the sake of our relationship. What about what you want? What about your own happiness?"
Jongseong sits up, the covers hiding his naked lower half; he hadn’t realised he was naked and it only adds a new layer to his vulnerability. He is laying himself bare to you.
But Jongseong's gaze remains unwavering, his determination evident in the set of his jaw, "Since we broke up, I've realised that you are the life I want," he declares, his words carrying the weight of his conviction, "Whatever that looks like for you, I want it."
You feel his words like a pickaxe, slowly breaking away at the wall you’ve spent months building around your heart and reason. A whirlwind of conflicting emotions sweeps over you. On one hand, his declaration of love sparks a glimmer of hope amidst the ruins of your fractured relationship. Yet, on the other hand, doubt claws at your insides, gnawing away at any semblance of certainty, the pure love that you have for him only wishes to make sure he’s happy and gets everything he wants in life.
"Jongseong, I..." you start, your voice wavering as you grapple with the turmoil inside. How do you express the depth of your feelings?
Grabbing your face with his large hands, he kisses you, his soft lips now coating yours. You’ve missed him so much that you become overwhelmed by his actions, a soft tear leaking from your ducts.
So much for being all cried out, you think to yourself.
"It's you, Y/N, I only need you," Jongseong whispers against your lips, his urgency evident as he seeks solace in the warmth of your embrace, stealing kisses with a hunger born from longing.
In spite of yourself, you find your lips responding to his touch, drawn in by the familiar sensation of his mouth against yours. Your arms instinctively wrap around him, fingers grazing lightly over the muscles of his back as you hold him close; your brain is telling you to push him away but your heart is pulling him tighter to you. 
"It's not fair to you, Jjongie," you murmur, the words weighted with a sense of guilt and remorse.
"I'd rather be with you happily than with kids and someone else miserably," Jongseong confesses, his words carrying the weight of his heart's deepest desires.
Jongseong wishes you could see it from his point of view; of course, he has wanted kids and a comfortable life for so long but the idea of achieving that when you are not his wife seems fucking ridiculous. There is no one in this world he wants to be with other than you and if that means he has to be an uncle rather than a dad, so be it.
You are all he has ever wanted. To grow old with you, to experience each of your accomplishments together and have you close to him. He wants to protect you and look after you the way he knows he should and that is his new life goal. This isn’t a decision he has made lightly but a decision he wanted to make.
His hands glide down your sides, trailing over your thighs as his kisses continue, each touch a manifestation of the craving that has consumed him. His need for you is overwhelming, every fibre of his being yearning for you in every possible way. Another moment without you feels unbearable, as if he might die.
You surrender to his touch, sinking back onto the bed as he hovers above you, his grip on your thighs firm yet tender. The intensity of his desire leaves marks, but in this moment, you welcome anything he offers.
It's astonishing how the feel of his lips on yours dismantles your resolve, scattering your apprehensions like leaves in the wind.
Slowly, he removes from you the t-shirt that has absorbed his tears on countless nights and the boxers you borrowed from him, leaving you exposed beneath him. As he looks upon your naked figure, his eyes drink in every curve and contour, offering silent gratitude to the heavens for letting him have you like this. You are everything he wants and more.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, Y/N,” he whispers into your mouth as he presses his body hard against yours, his member rubbing itself against your folds. 
The feeling of him rubbing against you is enough to elicit a moan. No amount of toys was enough to satisfy you, not the way Jongseong could. Over the years you learned about one another’s bodies so intimately that no one could ever know you the way he does, not even yourself. 
You couldn’t bear the thought of sleeping with someone else, even if you and Jongseong had broken up, your heart couldn’t do it. You never even considered a one night stand because deep down you knew that your body belonged to Jongseong and no one else.
He moves his hips, slowly rubbing himself against you, the bell of his cock grazing your clit teasingly. It feels like a dream for him to touch you this way again, and the fact that you were coating his cock with your wetness was enough to tell him that you need this too.
Kissing you desperately, his tongue darts into your mouth and swirls with yours as he seeks to taste you, his buds dancing along with yours. He moans into your mouth and acts as an echo of his love for you.
“I missed you so much,” he whispers as his hips continue to move slowly, teasing your hole with his tip each time he draws back. It’s becoming increasingly obvious how much it’s starting to irritate you, your need to have him inside you is evident in your whines of frustration.
"I missed you too, baby. More than anything," you confess, your hand finding his cock as you press against him, seeking to create greater friction between you. With each movement, the pressure builds, sending waves of pleasure coursing through both of you.
With each synchronised movement, the tension between you mounts, the desire for one another lingering in the warm air. His hips continue their slow, teasing rhythm, each brush against your core sending sparks of want up your heat and into your chest.
Feeling the urgency building within you, you guide his cock with precision, pressing it against your eager entrance. A soft gasp escapes your lips as you feel the head of his length dip into you only slightly, the anticipation of being filled with him heightening your senses.
"Please," you whisper, your voice laden with need and longing, a plea for him to take you.
With a teasing grin, Jongseong relents to your plea, but not in the way you expected. Instead of thrusting into you the way you want him to, he trails his fingertips along the curves of your body, igniting a trail of fire in his wake. His touch is light and tantalising, tracing patterns across your skin as he savours every moment. He wants to take his time with you, no matter how much his dick longs to be surrounded by your walls.
You like to be teased even for a little bit, the payoff at the end always hits the right spot.
You squirm beneath his touch, aching for more, but he continues with deliberate slowness. His fingers dance over your heated flesh, exploring every inch of your body with an intimacy that leaves you breathless. Each caress sends shivers down your spine, building the anticipation to unbearable heights. God, you missed his hands all over you.
As his right hand dips lower, he begins tracing circles around your sensitive clit and you can't help but arch your back in pleasure, a soft moan escaping your lips. The sensation is electrifying, sending waves coursing through your body as he expertly teases you.
Feeling your body tremble with anticipation, his touch becomes more urgent as he presses his fingers against your throbbing clit h and with practised skill, he begins to move faster, applying just the right amount of pressure to have you writhing beneath him.
“You look so fucking perfect, all desperate and whiney like this, Princess,” he says as he leans down to kiss you, breathing in deeply through his nose as he tries to fill each of his senses with you. It wasn’t just enough to feel you, he wanted to taste you, to inhale your scent, to hear you cry out for him, to see you unravel beneath him.
Your breath catches in your throat as the intensity of his touch sends you spiralling towards the edge of bliss. Each stroke of his fingers drives you closer to the brink, your body humming with the need to let go.
But just as you feel yourself teetering on the edge, Jongseong suddenly slows his movements, drawing out the pleasure with agonising slowness. It's a torturous tease, the brief moments of intensity followed by long, drawn-out strokes that leave you gasping for more.
“Please, please, please, Jjongie,” you whimper in frustration, your body aching for release as Jongseong continues to play you like a symphony, alternating between fast and slow, building the tension to unbearable levels. Just when you think you can't take it anymore, he finally gives in, his fingers dipping into your heat and thrusting into you at a rough pace, your pussy soaking his digits as he coaxes out your orgasm.
“You’re clamping down on my fingers so hard, Baby, you gonna cum?” he asks arrogantly, knowing that with each curl of his finger, he is watching your body lose control and surrender to him.
Nodding quickly, you pull him down for a long, searing kiss as his thumb joins the party and flicks your clit rapidly, “Oh my god,” you moan out into his mouth through bated breaths, “I’m gonna cum, Jongseong, please can I cum?”
“You never have to ask baby,” he moves his mouth to your ear and lightly nibbles your lobe, “Cum for me, Princess,” he gently commands.
Jongseong continues to work his magic, his fingers moving with expert precision as he guides you through the throes of ecstasy. Your vision blurs and every nerve in your body hums with pleasure as you reach the pinnacle of bliss.
With a final, desperate cry, you let go, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave. You arch your back and cry out his name as pleasure consumes you, your body trembling with the intensity of it all.
His fingers remain still inside you, but his thumb maintains its relentless pace, each swipe sending jolts of pleasure coursing through your body. Your hips instinctively twitch in response, your nub throbbing with sensitivity and yearning for a respite. Yet, Jongseong shows no signs of letting up, his determined flicking only intensifying.
"You like that, baby?" Jongseong's voice is hoarse with desire as he intently watches your reactions. His eyes are dark with need as he continues to work you with wild desire. 
Your senses are overwhelmed by sensations pouring through you, so you can only respond with a gasping nod. Every single nerve in your body is buzzing with ecstasy, and all you can think of is the delicious agony of his thumb against your delicate clit.
"Tell me what you want, Princess," he asks, his voice a seductive whisper in your ear, "Do you want more?"
You can only make a frantic plea, your words barely comprehensible in the middle of intense pleasure. "Yes, please, Jongseong... More..."
Jongseong's lips curl into a wicked grin as he hears your plea, his confidence growing with each breathless gasp that escapes your lips. With a teasing twinkle in his eye, he moves his fingers again, pressing them against your contracting walls, his hot breath ghosting over your ear as he speaks.
"What do you want, Y/N?" he whispers, his voice dripping with anticipation, "Tell me, and I'll give it to you."
Your mind is a haze of desire, but amidst the fog, one thought stands out clear and demanding. You need him inside you, filling you completely with his presence. With trembling hands, you reach for him, your fingers curling around his cock, guiding him to where you need him most, pushing his hand out of the way.
"I want you," you whisper, your voice trembling with need. "I want all of you, Jongseong." When you utter the words, there’s a deeper meaning to them, a meaning that Jongseong is clinging to.
The way your fingers wrap around his rock-hard member elicits a hiss from him, your touch mixed with your words only fuels him to give you everything you need. 
Jongseong lets out a guttural groan, entirely surrendering to your touch and words. His eyes darken with want as he watches you take control, and his breath quickens with anticipation as you guide him inside you. His breath coming in ragged gasps, he looks into your eyes with a mixture of desire and adoration, "God, Y/N," he murmurs, his voice rough with need, “You feel so fucking incredible. I’ve missed how you just suck me in like this.”
You look down and watch as his entire length gets lost in your heat, his cock’s head hitting deep within you. You’ve missed how he fills you up so much but you hadn’t realised just how badly until right now as he shallowly thrusts into you.
You respond with a low moan of pleasure, your nails digging into his skin as you pull him closer, urging him to go deeper. "Yes, Jongseong," you whisper, your voice laced with longing, "just like that. I need this so much, I need you."
With each thrust, he grunts in response, his movements becoming more desperate as he seeks to satisfy your every desire, "I'm yours, Y/N," he declares, his voice filled with raw emotion, "completely and utterly yours."
As he lifts your legs and closes them, gently draping them over his left shoulder, your warmth envelops his shaft, drawing him in closer. Jongseong relishes the sensation of your tightness, revelling in the snug embrace of your canal around him. And you too find delight in the pressure of his girth, relishing the way he stretches you further with every powerful thrust.
Each movement of his hips is deliberate, each one designed to bring you both closer to the edge of ecstasy. As his hands stroke your legs tenderly, contrasting with the intensity of his thrusts, you find yourself lost in the intoxicating rhythm of your bodies moving as one.
His jerks grow more intense, the pace quickening as he drives deeper into you, each stroke bringing you closer to the edge, "You feel so good," he groans, his voice filled with unrestrained passion, "so fucking perfect for me, Princess."
In response, you curve your back and meet his thrusts with equal conviction, the heat between you building to an almost euphoric level. "Jongseong," you exclaim, your voice a symphony of fulfilment, "don't stop, please don't stop."
Jongseong intensifies his efforts with a wild growl, each movement driven by a burning need to push you to the edge of satisfaction and beyond. At this moment, there is only you and him, burned by the fires of passion.
With a swift motion, your lover bends you in half, positioning your legs by your head as he quickens his already rapid pace. Lost in a whirlwind of desire, your eyes roll back and your hands instinctively grip his shoulders, your chest heaving with each forceful thrust of his cock. Your nails dig into his skin, leaving marks on his shoulder blades as you cling to him, lost in the intensity of the moment.
Feeling the sting of your nails, he grits his teeth and strains his neck, the veins in his temples pulsating as he fights the overwhelming urge to release inside you right then and there.
“Fuck, claw my back, Baby,” he growls, his voice thick with desire, “make me yours again.” With determination, he continues to pound into you, each movement bringing you closer to your shared orgasm.
After hearing Jongseong’s go-ahead, you dig into his back, dragging your nails across his skin, leaving fiery red lines in their wake, just like he wants. It burns him in the most delectable way, making his cock throb inside of you.
Your breaths combine in the air, creating an ensemble of desire as you both reach the edge. The tension between you grows with each thrust, a crescendo of want reaching its peak.
As he slams into you furiously, his voice fills the room with urgency, "You gonna cum again, Princess? You want it?" His words are a mixture of want and domination, starting a fire inside you that threatens to consume everything in its path.
With a firm nod, you meet his gaze, your eyes brimming with want. "Yes, Jongseong, please," you beg, your voice a frantic appeal for release once again.
In response, he increases his efforts, his motions growing more frenzied as he propels you both to your orgasms. And then, with a final, strong thrust, you shatter, your body convulsing from the ferocity of your release. Jongseong follows closely behind, his own climax mirroring yours as he finds release within you, “Fuck!” 
His body stills as he shoots his seed into you, the tremble of both your bodies vibrates the bed beneath you. Finding it hard to keep himself up, he falls onto you, moving his cock into you further, only drawing out a final moan from your lips.
After a couple of minutes, Jongseong rolls over, his chest heaving up and down rapidly. God, he missed the way you feel under him, he could go another ten rounds if you asked. 
But that would mean you would stay, and is that even something you want? He doesn’t want to ask, your answer being the deciding factor of whether he goes on his life with misery or happiness.
He knows he can’t force you into this relationship but he hopes he has done enough to convince you that you are all he wants.
“Please be with me again, Y/N. I can’t live without you,” he whispers into the air, not daring to look at you.
You on the other hand only want to look at him, to see if you can really try this again, “Even if it means no kids? No playdates with other parents? No family trips to Jeju?”
“Even without all that.” He does look sincere, his eyes now burning into yours with a new lease of determination.
The truth is, you’ve missed him so much that it hurts. Behind the strong facade is just a girl who misses her lover. Being without him is like being in a fire with no escape, constantly fighting your way out of a blaze while your lungs collapse. He’s the clear path to fresh air you desperately need, there is no denying it. And clearly, he thinks the same about you. 
Seeing him last night so fragile and broken engulfed you in the flames, burning you alive because you know that you feel every ounce of hurt that he is. It was a mirror to how you were feeling and you don’t think you knew how badly you needed him until that moment. You were trying to be so strong about it all, giving yourself only a short amount of time to grieve that as you looked at Jongseong last night, you know he has done the same.
You need one another to extinguish the fire.
“Jongseong, truly think about this, this isn’t me saying no to letting you go on a lads holiday, I’m denying you the opportunity to be a father,” you plead with him one last time, giving him an out to all of this as you lay it all on the table.
“Princess, I have had seven months to think about it. I am not compromising or altering my needs for you, this is a decision that I have made on my own. If I truly wanted the life I thought I did, I wouldn’t be begging you to be with me right now. I know this isn’t an easy choice but I have never been more sure about anything in my life.” 
Jongseong kisses all over your face, each one a receipt of his sincerity.
His words strike straight into your heart. He’s serious. A part of you wants to still feel guilty like you’re forcing him into this but on the other hand, he’s right. You’ve given him a multitude of opportunities to leave and find a girl who will cater to him, but he hasn’t. 
He doesn’t need to because all he needs is you and your love, to Jongseong, that is all he needs in his life.
“Okay, but if you ever change your min-”
He interjects with a kiss, one filled with so much happiness and love that it’s almost intoxicating; either that or all the booze in his system has transferred its way into your bloodstream. 
You giggle as he rolls over on top of you again, peppering loud and wet kisses all over your face and neck akin to a dog licking you from utter joy. Your hands try to fight him off playfully, your laugh growing louder as he nuzzles into your neck.
“Oh, wait!” Your lover's sudden pause catches your attention, his eyes sparkling with excitement as he swiftly rolls off the bed and rushes over to the messy pile on the chair by his dresser.
Curious, you crane your neck to see what he's up to, watching as he retrieves something from the floor.
“What is it?” you inquire, intrigued by his enthusiasm.
Turning back to you, Jongseong holds up the familiar torn sheet of paper that you recognise instantly, his smile lighting up his face. He grabs a pen from the desk and returns to your side, handing you both items.
“Tick it off,” he urges, pointing to the bottom of the page where a new addition was made yesterday morning. Despite his internal conflict about the list, he couldn't bring himself to tear it up. If he never saw you again, this would be a precious memory to hold onto.
So he added a new aspiration at the bottom.
Taking the pen from his hand, you read it slowly, “Make Y/N mine again..”
You gaze up at him in awe, understanding the significance of this gesture and how much the list means to him, “You wished for this?” you ask, to which he simply nods at your question, “Then you need to tick it off.” You push the pen and paper back to him but he stops you.
“No, you made the wish come true, so you need to tick it off,” he replies, the corners of his lips upturning slightly.
So with the pen, you draw a line over the words, scoring it off once and for all as you beam proudly, happy that both of your souls are now joined together again. You pull him in for a long, deep kiss, the bucket list discarded as you lose yourselves in the moment once again.
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ifwebefriends · 1 month
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My thoughts during “The Sign” [SPOILERS!!!!!]
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More thoughts under the cut
So I think most of us can agree that this is the best episode of Bluey so far. It was so emotional and satisfying in ways that are kinda new for Bluey. It answered so many questions while giving us a few new ones. I’ve been waiting for this episode for months and it did not disappoint in any way.
This is just a Chekov’s firing squad of an episode. As in a lot of stuff that was set up in earlier episodes all pay off in this episode. I kinda understand why people love soap operas now lol. I will say that this episode was a tad overwhelming for me in the best way possible. As in I had to pause and rewind every 30 seconds or so so I could emotionally process what was happening before moving forward (but that’s a me thing). There was just so much going on and I’m happy about that.
Now onto individual thoughts about specific things:
The callback to Baby Race (“you took your first steps in that house!”) really got to me because Baby Race was the first episode of Bluey that I watched and it immediately made me fall in love with it so it just got to me.
When Chilli said “Frisky and I came up here as teenagers to…um…think,” my mind started racing immediately with “what the FUCK happened at the Lookout?” “Who hurt Frisky and/or Chilli?” And I’m just so curious about what made Chilli say that line like that but we’ll probably never know what happened.
So yeah that scene at the end when the music was playing and Bandit ripped the sign out of the ground and Chilli tackled him to the ground ABSOLUTELY CHANGED my brain chemistry y’all. I can’t articulate my feelings any more than that.
I know some people were upset that Brandy ended up getting pregnant but I thought it was great for her! I’m happy for her! And I think that even though she got what she wanted in the end doesn’t negate the feelings she had about her infertility earlier. But I think we’re all wondering who the father is and I don’t know if the show really needs to answer that.
The whole message of “we’ll see” in terms of if something is good or bad is such a mature message that I never really thought of like that so I will be taking that philosophy forward in life. Congratulations Bluey, you managed to teach a 22-year-old childless person something new and insightful about life that I don’t think I’ve learned from another show.
I want to know more about what Bob was going through and feeling and why he went to India, but again, we’ll probably never know.
I just love how the wedding photos were beautiful but imperfect. Like of course we’re not perfect and nothing will ever be perfect but it’s beautiful and worth remembering anyway.
So many little jokes and moments were so funny in a mature way (I.e. “are we allowed to do that?” And Nana thinking there was about to be a baby announcement) were just so funny and memorable.
I think some people would say it’s a cop-out to end up not selling the house after building it up for 2 episodes but I don’t know, I think it works. I think Bluey and Bingo learned a valuable lesson and Bandit (and Chilli kinda) learned it’s not always about making their kids lives “perfect” in their eyes. Also I’m just personally glad they didn’t end up selling the house and I also kinda like that it wasn’t entirely their choice to keep it.
On a more serious note I think this episode has some interesting commentary on like gender roles and gender relations in straight relationships. In this episode Chilli and Frisky (both women) have to deal with their male significant others pressuring them to move with them far away from what they know and love. In the end they don’t end up moving and the men didn’t seem to have like malicious or selfish intent with it, they were just kinda basing their choices off their jobs instead of what’s best emotionally for their loved ones. But I think it’s interesting to have this conflict where gender is kinda brought up in a way (“because your husband is making you”). It kinda plays into the traditional idea of like men are the breadwinners and the family has to move with them regardless of what they actually want. And this episode kinda like deconstructs that and says “no, it’s not always about the job or money, it’s also sometimes about connections and emotional attachment.” And I’m not saying that you should never move or whatever, but really weigh your options. I just thought that it was interesting that this episode kinda touched on that.
So yeah that’s kinda the main thoughts I had on this episode if you made it this far thank you for reading my rambles and have a good one!
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