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aflame4goinghome · 1 month

Text

Bad Reputation

s.f.k. x reader

chapter one

Series Summary: As a local jazz pianist in Nashville, you never fear being in the spotlight. Living in the same city, you’ve become very familiar with Sam Kiszka, a young musician who’s managed to gain a bad reputation in the city and throughout the country within his band’s fanbase. You’ve always just ignored Sam’s promiscuous and impulsive ways, but when you’re approached by the band to help repair his image, you’re given an offer you can’t refuse.

Word Count: 6k

Chapter Warnings: swearing, drinking, mentions of sex, mentions of smoking (tobacco & marijuana), flirting, arguing, sexual tension… you get it ;) (no smut… yet)

A/N: Hi guys! I’m so excited to share this series with you all. The idea came to me and I think it really ended up so good, I can’t wait for you to read it. Let me know in the comments or in my messages if you want to be added to the taglist for this series! See you soon :)

Listen to the playlist here :)

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The club was dark and crowded as you entered through the front door and made your way backstage to begin setting up. Your shoulders brushed past other people in the crowd, making it difficult for you to get to the back. On your way there, you paused for a moment, deciding to stop at the bar first for a much-needed drink.

“Hey, Sebastian!” you said, leaning over the bar as you greeted the bartender. You’ve been playing here for so many years, these guys were some of the closest friends you’ll ever have.

“Y/N, hey! Need a pick-me-up?” he said, turning his attention to you fully for a moment as the bar was bustling with other customers. Better make this quick.

“Can I just get a double rum and coke? Only a little bit of ice in it,” you asked, smiling politely as he nodded and began making your drink.

You take a second to look around the club as you wait, feeling a bit nervous as you take in how many people are actually there. You’ve played big crowds before, sure, but tonight felt extra intimidating for some reason.

You had sensed for a few months now that your big break might be coming soon, at least that’s what you’d hoped. You’ve grown to be quite popular in the greater Nashville area, but your reach hasn’t gone much further than that. You hope to branch off and move to New York one day, to play there professionally full-time.

For now, though, you make your living by playing gigs weekly, posting your music online, and taking a few brand deals here and there. It’s working well, and you make enough money to get by, but you’re not entirely fulfilled.

“Double rum and coke for the lovely lady,” Sebastian said, sliding your drink across the bar toward you with a smile. You return his smile and take it in your hand, tipping it toward him as a thank you.

“Thanks, Seb. I’ll be back later, you know I’m gonna need it,” you muttered, taking a long swig of your drink before squeezing your way through the rest of the crowd and finally making it to the backstage door.

Pushing the door open, you turned the corner toward your usual dressing room and started to set yourself up. You take your coat off, place it on the small couch with your tote bag, and then turn to the mirror to touch up your makeup before you take the stage in 15 minutes. You hear the door crack open, so you turn your head to look and see who it is.

“There you are, Lucy!” you exclaimed, moving to the door to greet her with a hug. “Where the hell have you been? I didn’t see you at the bar before.”

“Sorry, babe, Seb had me refilling the kegs downstairs for him… lazy bastard,” she scoffed, moving past you to plop down on the couch. “That’s a man’s job! That shit is so heavy!” You chuckle at her, finishing off your drink and then turning back to the mirror to finish applying your lipstick.

“He’s building up your strength, Luce! What happened to equal rights?” you laughed, making eye contact with her in the mirror as she rolled her eyes at you.

“Whatever, Y/N. I don’t see you lifting any heavy things,” she mutters, crossing her arms and throwing her head back.

Lucy was probably your best friend in the whole city. You met her in high school, being in the same jazz band class together, and immediately clicked. She works at Seb’s jazz club part-time as a bartender and server, which is how you started playing there. You play plenty of gigs at other places too, but this place became your regular haunt, thanks to Lucy’s help. She asked Sebastian to give you a chance to audition 4 years ago, and you’ve been playing there ever since.

The two of you live together in a little apartment in Midtown, only a couple blocks away from the club. After graduating high school, Lucy decided to go to Belmont for journalism while you ended up just starting to work on your music full-time. You made ends meet and helped pay rent while Lucy went to school, and she’s worked to make it up to you ever since.

She’s in her last semester of graduate school now at Vanderbilt, getting a business degree with hopes of founding a newspaper of her own one day. At 24, she seems like she’s finally getting her life together, but for you, it feels like you’re only just getting started. You try not to compare yourself to her or anyone else, which was something your mother always nagged you about. You knew she was right, but you can’t help it.

Despite all of that, you’re sure that you’ll break into the industry soon. Seb had planned to hook you up with his buddy who works in one of the recording studios downtown to get you in and record your own stuff. He’s just waiting on your word to tell him that the album is ready, but you haven’t been able to finish it for the life of you. You’re not sure if it’s fear or perfectionism, but it just doesn’t feel finished to you yet. For now, you’re filling your time with gig after gig, hoping to find inspiration.

“Stop sulking in here and get back to work, I have to be out there in 5,” you say, turning around to give her a stern look. She scoffs at you and then stands up, walking out the door.

“Break a leg!” she shouts as she rounds the corner, leaving you alone once more.

You have to admit that you’re feeling nervous. You compiled a few originals to test out tonight with the crowd, hoping to get some excited reactions to some stuff that you planned to include in your record. You had a few classics in the setlist too, including your favorite arrangements of Misty and Lullaby of Birdland, to make sure that the crowd doesn’t get too lost. But you hope that you’re new stuff will keep them captivated.

You take a deep breath, brushing your hands down your dress a few times to straighten it out and taking one last look in the mirror before exiting the dressing room and heading toward the stage. You hear Seb announce your name as you turn the corner and stride onto the stage, flashing a quick smile at the crowd before sitting down at the piano.

The crowd hushed as your fingers plinked out the first few notes, and then you started your first piece. Your hands glided across the keys with ease as you closed your eyes, getting lost in the music. Your first original piece went off without a hitch, the crowd cheering loudly at your extensive solo. They were enraptured by the covers you chose and your confidence was truly shining brightly off of you.

The set ended as quickly as it began and the club erupts in applause as you played the last note and stood up to take a bow. You look out into the crowd and see your friends back at the bar, flashing them a wide smile. Your eyes pan across the rest of the room, seeing all of the people cheering for you. This was what you were made for, you were sure of it. This is what you’re meant to do.

As your eyes stop at the back corner of the room, your expression quickly drops when you see the group at the large booth. It was a group of men from a band that you were very familiar with, bumping elbows at all the music venues in Nashville. It wasn’t the band specifically that you had a problem with, but just one specific man who always gave you trouble. Sam Kiszka.

“Fuck,” you mutter under your breath, flashing one more smile at the crowd before rushing backstage to your dressing room. You were so not in the mood for his antics tonight, not after putting on such a good show. The rest of his brothers, you could deal with, but not him. You refuse to let him tear down the confidence in yourself that you only just built up.

You grabbed your things in your dressing room and then hurried back out to the bar, needing to get a refill on your drink before even attempting to socialize with anybody.

“Seb– another, please. Pour it heavy,” you lament, resting your elbows on the bar and putting your head in your hands. You hear him chuckle as he starts your drink and you let out a low groan.

“I take it you saw them, then?” Lucy said, leaning against the bar next to you. You nodded as your head still sat in your hands, not bothering to look up at her. “Y/N, they’re really not that bad, I don’t understand what your problem is.” Your head shot up and you glared at her frustratedly.

“Not that bad? Sam takes every opportunity he can to belittle my music and talent every time I see him,” you scoffed, taking your drink from Seb and taking a long sip. “And when he’s not berating me, he’s trying to get in my pants.” Lucy rolls her eyes, stepping behind the bar to grab some drinks and put them on her tray.

“As if I’d ever stoop that low. That man’s been in bed with every single woman in Nashville. Probably even taken women, too!” you ranted, crossing your arms and taking another sip.

“Just ignore him, babe. I know the rest of them would like to see you,” Lucy said, lifting the tray to rest on her shoulder. “These are their drinks. Just come with me.”

She walks away with the tray toward the other side of the club to find their table. You linger for a moment and then let out an annoyed groan, throwing back another sip before reluctantly following behind her.

You followed Lucy with your head down, trying not to look too eager or willing to go with her. As you approached the table, Josh was the first one to catch a glimpse of you, a toothy smile growing across his face.

“There she is, the woman of the hour,” Josh remarks, opening his arms wide to pull you in for a hug. You accept, squeezing him tightly before pulling away. You smiled shyly as the others greeted you as well, except Sam, of course. He was distracted, seemingly complimenting the top Lucy had on. Barf.

She’d already been there, done that, which isn’t exactly surprising. Your best friend always had an affinity for one-night stands, never really wanting to settle down or get too serious. You never cared at all, until she told you one morning that she went home with Sam after a show one night. She promised that she didn’t plan to do it again, claiming she used him just as much as he used her, and you left it at that.

She kept her word, never going home with him again, but that didn’t stop him from flirting with her every time he came in here. You rolled your eyes as you watched him glance down at her cleavage subtly, but not subtle enough for you not to notice. He finally notices you standing there, turning toward you with a smirk. Here we go.

“Y/N… that was quite the set,” Sam said, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall next to their booth. Josh and Jake excuse themselves to go outside for a smoke, and Danny takes a seat back in the booth, scrolling on his phone. Alone, great.

“Thanks, I think,” you say sarcastically, taking a sip of your drink as you look up at him suspiciously. You didn’t trust that look on his face one bit, and you were determined to find out what he was up to.

“Oh, that wasn’t a compliment,” he said smugly. “If you’re gonna arrange music, at least write a song where the chord progressions actually make sense together.” He raises his beer bottle to his lips and tips his head back to take a sip. You scoff at him, trying to take a deep breath before you blow this entire thing out of proportion.

“Samuel, you wouldn’t know a good arrangement even if it hit you in your smug face,” you bit out, still doing your best to hold yourself back. You swing back the rest of your drink, letting the cold ice hit your lips before slamming it down on the table next to you. “It was a B flat and E flat blues. Who crowned you the king of jazz composition?”

His smirk grew wider across his face as his back left the wall and he began to tower over you. You sucked in a deep breath, wondering if you should've just kept your mouth shut, but frankly you didn’t care. His long hair frames his face as he looks down on you, his eyes dark and cold.

“I did,” he answered, his face growing uncomfortably close to yours. “You’re sexy when you’re angry.” His tongue skims his bottom lip as his eyes bore into yours. No. No. He is not gonna win this round.

“Is that why you enjoy bothering me so much?” you asked, keeping your eyes locked on his, insistent on not backing down. His lips turn upward into a smug smile as he leans back away from you, placing his back on the wall once more.

“Maybe. Or maybe I just think it’s fun,” he answers, smirking down at you.

“You’re such a fucking freak,” you scoff, crossing your arms. You notice a change in his eyes at your words, and you start to wonder if you took it too far.

“You’ve got no idea, sweetheart,” Sam says, stepping forward again to stand over you.

“Gross,” you mutter under your breath, looking up at him, trying to keep a straight face.

“Now, I don’t think you mean that,” Sam whispered, leaning down further to speak into your ear. “I think you like it, actually.”

“You wish,” you state, still maintaining eye contact. His mouth twitches and turns up into a smirk as one of his arms snakes around your waist.

“All that blushing you’re doing says otherwise, doll. Even in this dark club, you can’t hide it,” he whispers against the shell of your ear. Fuck.

“That’s what I thought,” he smirked. You watch silently as Sam puts his beer bottle down on the table and then reaches into the front pocket of his shirt, pulling out a lighter and a blunt. “C’mon Daniel, let’s go outside.”

Sam shoots you a wink before nodding his head in Danny’s direction and the two of them walk toward the front entrance. They pass the twins on their way out, who both turn to look at you with puzzled expressions as they sit down at the booth. You sit down next to Josh as you try to adjust the annoyed look that is so clearly plastered across your face.

“What the hell was that all about?” Jake asked, raising his eyebrow at you and taking a sip from his glass of whiskey sitting on the table. You crossed your arms and rolled your eyes, not even having an answer to give.

“The usual, of course. Can’t seem to leave me alone,” you muttered. The two of them let out a breathy laugh as Josh reaches over to put his arm around you.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about him, darling,” he offers, smoothing his fingers along your shoulder. “It’s all just show.”

“For it just being show, it sure does feel pretty insulting,” you say, fiddling with your fingers atop the table.

“You’ll adjust eventually,” Jake says. “We like havin’ you around, so don’t run off just yet.” A smile grows across your face at Jake’s subtle attempt at an olive branch.

“I’ll tough it out, I promise,” you answer. You suppose you can adjust to Sam’s antics to spend time with them. You could use all the friends in the industry as you could get.

“How long have you been playing piano?” Josh asks, taking a sip of his tequila soda.

“Oh, I started lessons when I was 6,” you answered with a smile.

“That’s sick, I started pretty young too,” Jake replies, resting his arms on the table. Bonding with successful musicians has been your dream and the fact that you’re getting along so well made you really happy.

“Yeah, so I’ve heard! Believe it or not, I am actually a bit of a fan of your band. Casually, of course,” you smile, trying to be chill about it. It wasn’t entirely a lie, you are just a casual fan, but you’ve definitely watched an interview or two as well, leading to you knowing more about them than you intended to.

“Oh, yeah? Which one of us is your favorite, huh?” Josh asks smugly, raising an eyebrow at you hopefully. God, the amount of testosterone in this room could be cut with a knife.

“Hmmm… Danny,” you jest, elbowing Josh softly. The three of you break out into laughter before you check your phone to see the time. 12:32 am. Yikes, it’s late.

“Well, I gotta head out, unfortunately,” you say, standing up from the booth. Before you had the chance to walk off, Josh stopped you.

“Hey, uh, we’re gonna be in the studio on Monday for a few hours to work on some new music… would you wanna stop by?” Josh asked, looking up at you hopefully. “It could be a cool way for you to get exposed to how the recording process works.”

“Oh, wow, that would be incredible!” you smiled. “That’s such a kind offer, thank you so much! I’ll definitely be there.”

“Perfect! I’ll text you the details,” he says with a smile, and you wave goodbye to them both and walk over to the bar to find Lucy.

“Ready to head out?” you ask, leaning over the bar toward her.

“Sure, let’s go!” she answers, turning around to grab her jacket and bag.

“God, I have so much to fill you in on…” you say as you walk out the door toward your apartment. You told her all about your brief run-in with Sam, and then Josh’s invitation to the studio as you walk down the street. She quite literally squeals when she hears the news.

“OH MY GOD, Y/N this could be it! This could be your big break!” she exclaimed as you turned the corner to the path to your building. “If you get in with their producers, this could really get you started! You have to make a good impression.”

“Don’t you think I know that? I’m freaking out! I really can’t screw this up,” you said as you turn the key in the door.

“You could never screw it up, babe. They’re gonna love you, I promise,” Lucy reassured you, hugging you tightly before branching off to her own bedroom.

All you had to do was get through the weekend, and then the day of your dreams will be all yours. Fuck, you don’t have anything prepared! As you shut the door to your bedroom, you rushed to sit down at your keyboard, turning it on. You pulled out your phone and opened the voice memos app, pressing start and then setting it down. You have to get a good demo down if you want to impress the producers at the studio and book a session there.

You spent all of Saturday and Sunday recording a few of your originals on your phone, taking dozens of takes to make sure each of them was perfect. This is it, it’s your moment.

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Your alarm goes off at 8 am, giving you two hours until you’re meant to meet Greta Van Fleet at the studio. Josh texted you yesterday with the time and address, emphasizing that you shouldn’t overthink it. He knew that you’d be freaking out, and he was right.

You’re hoping that a cool shower will wake you up and help you shake the nerves off. You get up out of bed, rub your eyes, and then grab your towel and walk out of your bedroom to the bathroom.

As the cold water hits your back, you start to think over the day that you have ahead of you. If everything goes the way you planned, then you might leave today with a record deal, or plans to meet up to make a deal. You appreciated Josh’s help so greatly, you really weren’t expecting it. He’s always been so kind to you, more so than the rest, but you figured that it was just the way he was. Now, it feels like he really has your back.

All you had to do was make it through today without any incidents with Sam. You hope that the other guys have already briefed him and told him to be on his best behavior, but you doubt that he’ll abide by that. You can hold your own, though, and you doubt that he’d pull something too obscene while working.

After drying off and getting ready to go, you find that you still have about 20 minutes until you need to leave. To pass the time, you sat down in your bed and opened up Instagram to scroll mindlessly for a little while until you had to drive downtown.

As you scroll down, your eye is caught by a post by The Nashville Fiddle, which is a local magazine. The Fiddle posts mostly about drama and celebrities, and you usually ignore everything they post, since you try not to give gossip the time of day. But this time, your eyes were stuck on their post, with a video of Sam Kiszka, belligerent and wasted outside of a club downtown Saturday night.

In the video, you can see Sam flirting with a girl outside of the club when a big, burly man comes up to him angrily. Clearly, this girl was taken, and her boyfriend was not happy. You can see Sam hollering back at him, getting in his face as he slurs his words before the man takes a large swing at him. Then, you see Danny show up behind him and pull him back, dragging him down the street, far away from the scene.

How could he be so stupid? Flirting with girls with boyfriends is bad enough, but it’s even worse to get into an argument and get caught on camera. He should know that he’s a public figure and that people can spread this kind of stuff around. What was he thinking?

You check the time and see that it’s about time to go, so you grab your tote, pick up your keys, and then head out the door. As you drive downtown, you take a few deep breaths. It’s not a big deal, you tell yourself. Everything will be fine.

Soon enough, you pull into a parking spot in front of the studio and put your car in park. 9:59 am. Just on time. You get out of the car, throw your keys into your bag, and then head toward the front door. After opening the door, you walked in and told the person at the front desk that you were meeting the band, and they directed you to the right studio.

As you enter the studio, you walk in to only find Danny sitting there. He looks up from his drum set and waves, standing up to greet you.

“Hey, Danny… where are the others?” you asked, hugging him and then taking a seat on a chair nearby. Danny lets out a long laugh, trying to compose himself before answering.

“Oh, they are never here on time. This is considered early,” he answers, smiling widely as he goes to sit back down at his set. “I wouldn’t expect any of them for at least another thirty minutes, if not longer.” You laugh along with him, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“Ah, Josh should have told me! Now I feel embarrassed for being so early,” you say, looking down at your phone for the time. 10:11 am.

“Nah, he just can’t admit that he’s always chronically late. He’s in denial,” Danny jokes. “Do you want anything while we wait? There’s coffee and tea over there.”

“Yeah, that’d be nice actually,” you answered, standing up to walk over to the coffee cart. “I’ll be honest, I’m not much of a morning person.” Daniel laughs, standing up to walk over with you.

“I’m not sure I’ve ever met a jazz player that was,” he says with a smile. “I think it’s just part of your DNA.” You laugh, nodding your head in agreement.

“You might be right. It’s not our fault, we play at night!” you say, pouring yourself a cup of coffee.

“Sam’s the same way, y’know. Stays up ‘til ungodly hours of the night, and then doesn’t roll out of bed until after noon,” he notes, laughing to himself. You laugh awkwardly as you add cream to your cup, cringing at the possibility of having anything in common with Sam Kiszka.

Almost as if he read your mind, Sam walked through the door, sunglasses blocking the dark bags under his eyes. He’s clearly hungover, rubbing his temples as he waltzes over to the cart and grabs the pot of coffee, pouring it into his own cup.

“Rough weekend, Samuel?” you asked teasingly, having already read about his escapades from this weekend. You can see his eyes roll behind the tint of the sunglasses as he takes a sip of his black coffee.

“Don’t start with me today, sweetheart,” he mumbled, pouring more coffee into his cup to make up for what he already drank, and then walking over to the corner to sit down on the sofa. He puts his feet up on the cushions as he takes a sip and then lays his head back against the armrest.

“See what I mean?” Danny asks, laughing as he walks over to his set and starts playing on his own, seemingly practicing. The idea sends a shiver down your spine. Could you and Sam be more similar than you thought? No, no way, you thought to yourself.

Not long after, Josh and Jake walk through the door and things can finally start moving. Josh walks over to make a cup of tea and then takes a seat on a stool, taking a slow sip. You walk over to him, hoping that his usual cheery disposition would calm your nerves.

“Good morning, lovely,” Josh smiled, patting your shoulder softly. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m good, I’m good,” you answered nonchalantly with a shy smile.

“Good. We’re still waiting for our manager, Jodie, to arrive, so just hang tight,” he says, taking another sip of his tea.

“Hey, you know what? How about you play us something?” he asks excitedly, his eyes lighting up. “Could be a good way to wake us up, huh?”

Your eyes shoot open, looking around the room at the rest of the guys. Danny is nodding excitedly and Jake walks over to his guitar stand, picking up his Gibson SG and slinging it over his head. Sam isn’t paying attention, his sunglasses have come off and his eyes are shut as he reclines on the couch.

“Well, okay… I guess it couldn’t hurt,” you answered, walking over to Sam’s keyboard next to the drumset. You turn it on and adjust the settings, giving it a funkier sound before taking a deep breath and starting to play.

You decide to play Higher Ground, by Stevie Wonder, falling into the groove of the intro of the song as your fingers move across the keys. Danny’s face lights up as he listens closely to what you’re playing, then starts playing along. Jake follows suit, adding his guitar into the mix, and playing along with you. Of course, everyone knows Stevie Wonder, but being able to play with a band was just so cool to you.

People keep on learnin’

Soldiers keep on warnin’

World keep on turnin’

‘Cause it won’t be too long

Josh sings along, his voice fitting perfectly in the range of the song. The four of you are really grooving now, and it is so fun for you. It’s been years since you’ve played with others, and you loved it.

You watch as Sam lifts his head from the couch, opening his tired eyes to look over at you all. For a moment there, you almost think that he might be smiling, but you shake it off. You’re surprised to see him rise from the couch and walk over, grabbing his Rickenbacker off the stand and putting the strap over his head. Oh, he’s gonna play along…

Sam starts plucking his bass, along with the rest of the song. You knew that they’d all played in jazz bands before, and this song was a staple, but it surprised you how easy it was to join together and play. It was almost like you belonged there.

As you start a short piano solo, their manager walks through the door and sits down on the couch. She seems to nod at you to keep going, so you finish your solo and then end the song. You’re suddenly caught by surprise as Josh starts applauding, smiling widely as he walks over to you. He stands behind you, putting his hands firmly on your shoulders, squeezing them.

“You’re an incredible talent, Y/N, truly,” Josh remarked, smiling from ear to ear as he left your side and went to sit back down. You smile shyly and get up from the bench behind the piano to go sit down on the couch with Jodie. The rest of the guys start talking cacophonously as you start your conversation privately with her.

“It’s true, you’re really good,” she says honestly, reaching out to shake yours. “I’m Jodie, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Oh, you have? Thank you so much, it’s great to meet you. I assume it was Josh who told you about me, he’s the one who invited me today,” you answer, smiling shyly at the compliment.

“I first heard about you from Sam actually… he had a lot to say about your talent on the keys,” she says, catching you completely by surprise. Sam? Is she being serious right now?

“Did he now?... Interesting,” you replied, your tone feigning confidence. “Well, I’m honored to be here today. I’ve been meaning to finally get into a studio here in Nashville.”

“Yes, I heard from Josh that you plan on recording an album of original songs,” Jodie remarks. “I’m happy to have you here! Hopefully, we can get you to work a bit! Not to mention, it’s quite nice to have a bit more of a gender balance.” You laugh together for a moment before she gets up to greet the guys, going over the agenda for the session.

They go through a few new songs, trying to get it all down perfectly. You just sit and watch, absolutely mesmerized by watching the professionals work. You even escaped to the booth for a while to see the mechanics of the equipment, talking to some of the sound techs that work there. It was a really rewarding learning experience for you.

“Okay, that’s a wrap, guys! Good work today, we’ll be back here at the same time on Friday,” Jodie says. “Sam, can you hang back for a sec?” She walks back over to sit next to you on the couch, nodding her head to motion for Sam to join you. Once she’s certain that everyone else has left the studio, she starts talking.

“So, I’ve had an idea. Just hear me out,” she started, somewhat apprehensively. “Y/N, I was thinking about how highly the guys speak about you, and how much untapped talent you have.” Okay… this is getting weird.

“And Sam, I’ve been thinking about ways to improve your public image and get you out of your rut,” she finished, trailing off as she saw Sam’s annoyed expression.

“Okay, first of all, I am not in a rut,” he said, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms as he leaned back on the couch.

“That’s not the point,” she snapped back. “My point is that I think I might have thought of a way to solve all of our problems.” You raise your eyebrow at her, still not really understanding what she’s getting at.

“What could possibly solve both of our problems?” you ask suspiciously.

“Like I said, just hear me out…” she says, but Sam interrupts her.

“Jodie, just spit it out already,” he groaned, growing frustrated.

“I think you guys should pretend to date!” she finally spat out, looking nervously at your reactions. Your jaw dropped as she finished her sentence, unsure that you even heard her right. Sam, however, already shot up out of his seat and stood angrily above you both.

“No, fuck no, absolutely not. This is ridiculous,” he starts ranting, but she cuts him off.

“Just listen to me, Sam. You’d improve your reputation by having a charismatic and talented girlfriend, the fans would love her! And Y/N, you’d gain followers and fans for your music career, and our label can get you started in our studio. Boom, both problems are fixed.”

“No! How could I even pretend to be interested in him? It’s impossible,” you complained.

“Woah, okay, try not to sound too disgusted,” Sam said, crossing his arms with a scoff.

“Don’t act like you didn’t react the exact same way, you asshole,” you scoff, staring daggers into him.

“Whatever, it’s not the same thing,” he spits back.

“Whatever, this isn’t productive,” you admit, crossing your arms in your seat.

“Exactly. It won’t even be that bad. Besides, you’re both benefiting here! It’s perfect,” Jodie says proudly.

“Well, I don’t know about perfect, but I guess it does kind of make sense…” you muttered, looking up at Sam nervously. He raised an eyebrow at you, walking toward you.

“You want to be my fake girlfriend, Y/N?” he teased. You roll your eyes and stand up to be more level with him, hating him towering over you.

“Shut up, Sam,” you replied, a hint of pink tinting your cheeks as your eyes locked on his.

“So? You guys are in?” Jodie asked hopefully. You and Sam exchange a look, then look back at her and nod.

“Yeah. Yeah, we’re in,” Sam answered, looking over at you with a smirk before walking toward the door. “Now, are we done here? I’ve got places to be.” You roll your eyes and reach down to grab your bag.

“We’re done here, go,” you mutter, slinging your bag over your arm. Sam walks out the door as quickly as he had came in, and you follow soon after him.

As you drive back home from the studio, you think about all of the day’s events. You almost can’t even believe that you agreed to be Sam’s girlfriend, fake or not. But you have to admit that it’s going to be great for your career, this is exactly the big break you need. You feel confident that her choice to ask you was based on your talent, so the unconventional means of gaining popularity didn’t bother you.

It kind of excited you to be included with such a famous rock band like theirs– going on tour, going to the studio, seeing the magic happen. Having to spend time with Sam was just the price you had to pay to jumpstart your music career and get into the music industry. You’re not sure what type of a commitment this arrangement is going to entail for you, but you’re honestly kind of looking forward to it. You have to admit that “Rockstar’s Girlfriend” kind of has a ring to it.

•┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈••✦ ♡ ✦••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•

chapter two

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a comment or send me a message if you want to be added to the taglist for this story, or if you want to be tagged in all of my stories! See you soon :)

Taglist:

@highladyofasgard @gvfpal @childinthegardenn @myleftsock @peaceloveunitygvf @gretasfallingsky @gretavanfan @itsafullmoon @jordie-gvf

#greta van fleet #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet fan fiction #greta van fic #sam kiszka #sammy gvf #sam kiszka fic #sam kiszka x reader #enemies to lovers #sam kiszka gvf #greta van smut #greta van angst #gvf #enemies to friends to lovers #bad reputation #greta van fleet smut #greta van fleet fanfiction #gretavanfleet #sam kiszka smut

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leeloooonfire · 1 year

Text

Modern Steddie-Roommate AU

Bros don't kiss and make out on their couch during a Saturday night in their living room while The Great British Baking Show on Netflix runs in the background.

Bros don't want to suck each other's dicks and want to wrap their legs around the other's waist, pulling them closer just to feel them, you know? To feel the warm skin and the erratic heartbeat and maybe even their rock-hard penis tenting in the grey sweatpants.

And bros certainly don't do some research on anal sex because they want to dick each other.

At least, that's what Steve always thought before 2020 started, the world went to shit and he found himself in three months-long lockdown with his best friend Eddie.

However, suddenly he finds himself in his best friend's and roommate's arms more often than not - with lips bright red and swollen because of too many lingering kisses and Eddie sucking at his bottom lip as if his life depends on it.

And obviously, three years later he has to ask himself: How did that even happen?

"SERIOUSLY, DINGUS, WHO DID THAT HAPPEN?" Robin shouts at him over a glass of deep red Cabernet Sauvignon that looks far too fancy for the woman who he dragged out of a roadside ditch at three am after drunkenly falling over while trying to pee.

"Eh," he says very eloquently and shrugs his shoulders. "It just happened."

"But how does this just happen?" She says with a mock imitation of his natural bass tone, "It's not like he slipped over your disgusting floor while being naked and HOLE IN ONE, or whatever."

Steve winces, "Ugh, could you stop being so disgusting? It just happened, ok? We got drunk, we talked about sex as dudes sometimes do and realised that we haven't had some in a long while and since he's kinda hot and I'm just-"

"Horny all the time," Robin interrupts with a sardonic half-smile.

"- and I'm me, it happened," Steve rolls his eyes at her snarky remark and continues, "It's not like it's a bad thing."

"Dude, DUDE! You two are like 5 minutes away from signing your marriage contracts the way you're acting since Christmas 2020 and haven't even talked about feelings - like - ever, right?"

Steve thinks, now won't be the best time to tell Robin, that yeah - he and Eddie actually thought about getting married for tax beneficial reasons and because then he can ask for legal guardian ship for Max more easily.

"Riiiiiight," he says with an, he thinks, kinda unobtrusive tone, but Robin chokes on her wine, wheezes for a few heartbeats and then shouts over her shoulders towards the kitchen, "GOD DAMMIT, NANCY! Steve and Eddie think about getting married for real!"

"NO FUCKING WAY!"

#steve harrington #eddie stranger things #stranger things #steddie #eddie munson #fanfiction #friends to lovers #fwb #and they were roommates #whoops #eddie x steve #robin buckley #steve and robin #steve x eddie #nancy wheeler #stranger things fan fic idea #fanfiction ideas

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violetsiren90 · 3 days

Text

The Lighthouse Keeper

~a What the Moon Saw drabble~

Pairing: Yoongi x f!Reader (What the Moon Saw universe)

Genre: drabble; non-idol AU; friends to lovers; childhood friends, angst

Summary: Life moves on. The moon blooms and wilts. The tide sinks away from the sands and returns with new waters. Yoongi stays.

Content warnings: PG rating, but ALL my content is off-limits to minors; drinking and drunkenness (set in a cantina); cigarette smoking; Yoongi gets hit on; longing and pining; sad Yoongi 😔; some ogling of a female character by Hoseok; reference to the death of a minor character; allusions to domestic violence; allusions to semi-homelessness; allusions to casual sexual encounters; this is just pure angst, honestly.

Word Count: ~1600

Author's Note: This has been sitting in my WIP folder, and in the wee hours of the morning last week I sat in a hospital cafeteria with the shittiest cup of coffee I've ever tasted (that I was nonetheless grateful for) and finished it up. Poor, sweet Yoongi . These two are my comfort couple and coming back to them has a way of reminding me that "nobody knows how the story ends - live the day, do what you can."*

As always, if no one has told you today, please know that you're loved, and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜

*"Nobody Knows", the Lumineers

"Alright, old buddy, what's got you down?"

A slim, dark-haired young man slid into the booth across from Yoongi. The older man's eyes softened slightly, and his mouth quirked up into a small smile as he regarded his companion over a swig of Pacifico.

"Who says I'm down?" he asked in a mildly affronted tone, drawing a hand over his beer-slicked lips.

The other man's mouth broke into a toothy smile, his lips pulling into a heart-shaped grin as he let out a boisterous peal of laughter.

"You never call these days unless you are," he rejoined, grabbing a foggy acrylic standee from the center of the table and squinting at its small list of beverages. "Geez, they really don't have much of a selection here, do they?"

Yoongi snorted.

"Since when are you an alcohol connoisseur? You don't even drink, Hoba."

"I do too!"

A waitress sidled up to their table and slid a food menu in front of Hoseok, who trailed wide eyes up her tattooed arm to her bright blue pixie cut with a thick swallow.

"Our mango ahi tacos are on special tonight," she hummed with a wink.

The young man's ears flushed a bright shade of crimson as he stammered something about passing on the food but wondering if they had any ciders. She pocketed her tongue in her cheek as she flicked her eyes to Yoongi.

"You hungry?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow and tilting a hip clad in low-slung cargo pants and a studded belt in his direction. Yoongi looked up at her and shook his head, taking another sip of beer.

"Hm, damn shame," she hummed, flicking her eyes over him a last time before sauntering back to the bar.

Hoseok tracked her every move with a slack jaw, craning his neck to watch her slip through the kitchen door before turning his face - features, still frozen in lascivious astonishment - back to his friend.

"Holy shit, hyung," he murmured, covering his mouth with both hands, "You could see her nipple piercings right through her shirt!"

Yoongi grunted in assent, trailing a cloudy gaze over the table's waxy surface as he picked at the bottle's damp label.

"You gonna get her number?"

"What?" Yoongi shifted in his seat, eyes refocusing on his friend.

Hoseok sighed.

"Nope, you're not. How long's it been, hyung?"

Yoongi glanced down at his beer again, then raised it to his lips and drained the bottle.

Jung Hoseok had met Yoongi the summer between freshman and sophomore year of high school. He had attached himself instantly to the older boy, an unusual experience for Yoongi, who was used to people as sunny as Hoseok steering clear of his little storm cloud. He was one of the few friends from those days that Yoongi still called up, on occasion. One of the few who knew the context of his life - the sandy paths on which he'd come of age...what he'd found there, and what he'd lost.

"Don't, Hoba," Yoongi murmured lowly, his voice suddenly thick in his throat.

Hoseok hummed, lips pulled into a thin line. The waitress returned with a hard cider, a Pacifico, and a plate of nachos they hadn't ordered. While Hoseok changed shades like a chameleon on a tomato and attempted to stammer his thanks, Yoongi cast his eyes out the window.

The sun was hanging low in the sky, the gulls pushing their yellow legs from weathered wooden perches to soar beyond the edge of the pier and into the little golden space between the fading light and sparkling waters. The sandy beach stretched around the edge of a rising rockface, dappled with lush green ice plant and yellow sea asters, a few miles to the north. Around the other side of the stony promontory was a place Yoongi knew well. The shore there drew inward and curved into another swell of land as the cliff rose; near its highest stretch an old wooden stairway weaving down its face.

Tucked away to the side of those stairs was a ledge - a few meters wide and about as deep - that jutted out as the cliff sloped down to its base. It was smooth and fairly even, nearly level with the closest steps; a perfect little hideaway barely visible from above or below. Perfect for two children to sit, huddled against the rock, as they whispered their dreams and fears; for a boy and a girl to hold each other through nights that couldn't be spent at homes far less warm and gentle than each other's arms; for a young man and woman to give themselves to one another at last and too late.

It was where Yoongi had sat utterly broken, on the last morning of a summer ten years past, his head tilted back against the stone as he wept up to the sky, praying to any god that would listen that you would run fast and run far - that you would finally spread full your beautiful wings...that you would forget him.

But Yoongi never forgot you. Not one word that you spoke, not one touch of your gentle fingers or your soft lips.

He had left the ledge that day, but he had carried you with him - down the beach and back into the horrid little shack where three nights later Yoongi's father hit him for the very last time. Yoongi had carried you with him to the doorstep, as he threw the man out into the dirt. Then he had carried you with him to every couch and car and dingy apartment that served as a night's shelter until he had saved up enough for a little place of his own; had carried you around with the tools and lumber as he spent long, hot days building the tiny workshop beside it. And he had carried you, on a some miserable nights, into the beds of strangers - who, through no fault of their own, could never ever compare.

"My dad died," Yoongi said drawing his eyes away from the window. He said it with a quiet simplicity that he seemed to embody more and more with age.

Hoseok looked up from the plate of nachos, mouth full. He looked as if he were sorry, but didn't want to say that. Instead he got up and slid onto Yoongi's bench of the booth, gently shoving the older man over to stay flush with his side. Yoongi wouldn't usually tolerate that sort of closeness, but with Hoseok it was different. Hoseok knew.

"How's your mom?" he asked softly.

Yoongi nodded.

"She's okay. She's taking it better than me, actually. Already talking about leaving."

"Are you going to?"

"What?"

"Leave?"

Hoseok's voice sounded hopeful. Yoongi's right hand slipped instinctively into his jacket pocket, slender fingers curling around a little whittling knife with a pink heart painted on its handle.

"I don't think so, Hoba."

The younger man sighed through his nose. He was quiet for a long moment before turning to his friend.

"I got an offer from a high school down south. VP. I start there in the fall."

Yoongi raised his gaze, his small smile affectionate and his eyes soft. He wouldn't let the sadness reach them - he'd learned how to push it away.

"They'll be lucky to have you," he murmured sincerely.

Yoongi was used to people moving on. Everyone did...everyone but him. While the world turned, Yoongi stayed.

"Someday, you need to leave, hyung,” Hoseok urged him quietly. “She's out there somewhere living her life. She'd want you to live yours too."

At the mention of you, Yoongi felt his heart squeeze and ten years of carrying your memory well up and into his throat.

Hoseok clapped a hand onto Yoongi's back, and raised the cider to his lips.

Hoseok knew, but he didn’t understand. No one ever really seemed to.

As the cantina closed its door for the night, Yoongi ushered a stumbling Hoseok into the back of a cab.

"You're nah coming?" the younger man slurred as Yoongi stood and moved to shut the door.

He shook his head.

"Gonna walk. Goodnight, Hoba," Yoongi gave his friend a little endeared crook of his mouth before closing the cab door and tapping the back of the car as it rolled away from the pier.

Pulling a pack of Marlboros from his pocket, he watched the cab's red taillights fade into the evening blue. Yoongi lit a cigarette and turned to walk the path that wove along the edge of the cliffs. While he walked he wondered about you. He wondered if you were safe, if you smiled and laughed. He wondered if there was someone who made your eyes sparkle and your smile shy, someone with whom you could share your joys and sorrows. Yoongi wondered if you had found a home.

The moon had risen to meet the stars when he reached the little stairway. He gingerly descended its rungs - neglected of repair and worn with their years - until he reached it, the little ledge in the moonlight. He stepped onto its smooth surface, the lower half of the rickety railing long fallen away, and sinking down he closed his eyes.

The full bright moon washed over him, and for a moment, Yoongi felt it understood. It had seen, after all.

It had seen the boy and the girl and what they had become for each other. It had seen you give Yoongi a home, and it had watched him, in return, teach you to fly - to fly far away.

But Yoongi carried you with him. After all, you were his home, where else would he go? As the wind whipped up off the sea and swept around him, whispering of another summer's end, the moon watched Yoongi stay another season. And if it could have seen his heart, it would have watched him go to its little window, and, as the darkness fell, light a lamp to shine out across the sea.

The moon heard Yoongi pray that you'd never return.

…It saw him stay on the chance that you might.

-Fin-

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shawnxstyles · 1 year

Text

green and gold

DATE: MARCH 29, 2023

summary: tom invites you to the brothers trust charity event that you didn’t really want to go to. you made up countless excuses, trying to run away from him like you usually do, but were convinced anyway. during the event, tom finally confronts you about always running away when he’s close. years of pent-up feelings are unraveled along with some clothes to make up for all the time you lost.

request: yess

song: dress- taylor swift

words: 7.7k

warnings: SMUT (f- receiving [fingering, slight masturbation, some nipple play], exhibitism, small praise kink, unprotected sex [coming inside], dirty talk), pining, lots of fluff, and some language.

note: i used this image because it was one of the only ones i could find of him at the event where he wasn’t with other people lol. this is hardly edited

best friends to lovers :) famous!tom x female!reader

–

You really didn’t want to go tonight. You had so many reasons, or excuses is what Tom said, why you didn’t want to go to a high-end charity event. But your best friend put on his puppy dog eyes and played the “I need you by my side tonight” card. It was truly an unfair move.

The “reasons” you gave Tom were all in-the-moment excuses. Like “I have to clean my entire apartment and it’s going to take a week” or “I’m not going to feel good for the next week”. Yeah…your excuses got worse every time he asked.

Tom told you a week in advance and it went like this; he asked if you wanted to go, you said no for three days straight, and then eventually caved because of those stupid puppy dog eyes. That’s how most of Tom’s requests for your presence went. At first, you loved the idea of all the fancy clothes and luxurious events, but after about two nights out, you were already sick of it. You respected that Tom did that and more for a living.

Like every other event he convinced you to go to, you shared a suite in some grand hotel that still made your jaw drop from its lavishness. He made sure his team arranged an outfit for you each time, every dress more opulent than the last. The dresses he got you always fit you so perfectly, you were in disbelief when you looked in the mirror at the final results.

Tonight was no different. Well, it was a bit different. As you stood in front of the full length mirror, you stared at your figure way longer than you usually would have. Tom ordered you a long, green dress with velvet fabric that comforted your skin. It was snug, flawlessly fitting, and had a huge slit that showed your entire leg. You made sure to shave everything and wear your tiniest pair of underwear, so nothing could be seen.

You weren’t a celebrity like Tom. Yeah, sometimes you went to events with him, but only for support. You were seen on the media with him a lot, and after at least a year of fans either “shipping” you two or hating you, they finally understood the idea that a man and a woman can be friends.

No matter how much you hated it, that’s all you two were. That’s all it was ever going to be.

You and Tom have been friends since you were kids. You only ever saw him as a friend, and he, the same. But as puberty hit and hormones developed, the line of friendship began to blur for you. When he had a few girlfriends (all for short periods of time), it became clear to you that he had no interest in you outside of a friendship.

His name got huge after he landed the iconic role of playing Spider-man for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But your relationship together never faded, along with the confusing feelings you learned to label as a crush. Your “crush” eventually turned into a “like”, and then…well, you would be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t in love with the man.

And as you smoothed your hands over the velvet dress, your heart swelled at the idea of it all. A girl in love with her best friend.

You took a deep breath and pulled your conscience away from your reflection. You hastingly put in the dangly, gold earrings with matching green gems that Tom also ordered for you. Sparkling gold heels rested by the bed, waiting for your feet to become ridiculously uncomfortable. You strapped them on and grabbed your black clutch on the bed. You peered one last time at your shared hotel room before walking out and to the elevators.

Outside, a car was ready to escort you to the event. As you rode, you made light conversation with Tom’s driver, Eddy, and asked about his family and how his night was. While entering, sitting, and exiting the car, you repeated numerous thank you’s just like you did every time he escorted you. A few events ago, you overheard him say you were something along the lines of “kind-hearted” and “a keeper”, which made you smile to yourself. But you swear Tom replied saying “that’s the goal”.

Maybe it was all in your head, but it never left you. Even if it was, you wanted to hold onto it–the sliver of possibility that there might be something between you and Tom.

You trailed up the long, creme cemented stairs and opened the double glass doors. The lobby was roomy and extremely tall for no good reason besides the glistening chandelier that hung from the roof. The floor was covered in red velvet carpet with a white and gold marble outline. Heels padding the carpet, you checked in easily and were directed to the ballroom area. You followed and strutted into the decked out event.

Similar to the lobby, red velvet and marble decorated the floor and walls. The foundation of the walls were dark wood, which matched pleasantly with the other colors. Accents of gold were everywhere, including the white-clothed tables; candle holders, golden tassels, and picture frames. Voices buzzed all around you, but you hardly acknowledged anyone before taking in the beauty of the room. This was definitely one of the fanciest events you’ve ever been to.

After a welcoming look, you scanned the crowded tables for a familiar face. Or, familiar faces. Since this was The Brothers Trust charity event, all of the Holland brothers were present. That being said, it was also one of your first questions you had asked Tom when he asked for you to go. Why would you need to go if he had the support of all his brothers? You would just be there.

But that’s all he wanted. He just wanted you there. At his events, by his side; in his house, in his bed, in his arms–he always just wanted you there.

You got easily distracted by the outfits and people that it took you a minute to find him. But when your eyes spotted his face, your heart skipped a beat so frequent and fast that it became comfortable. Tom stood in a criminally charming tux by a table of middle-aged people, conversing with a wide smile plastered on his tan face. You watched as he laughed whole-heartedly when Harry made a joke, clutching onto his arm for support.

Without noticing, you had swallowed all your saliva and weren’t breathing correctly. Once your brain and body wanted to function, you used your legs to wander his way.

Tom was busy talking to one of his associates at another table when you caught his eye from across the room. The words that left the older man’s mouth turned into a muffled hum along with all the other voices in the room as he gazed at you. He’s seen you in a numerous amount of dresses, all beautiful and glamorous in their own way. But the dress you’re sporting tonight caused his breath to hitch in his throat and heart stop–correction, it made everything stop. Everyone around you blurred as he absorbed the image of you strutting towards him in that dangerous green and gold.

Dangerous because he might not be able to hold himself back tonight.

“Uh, Tom?” The associate questioned, causing Tom to shake his head and peer down at the man. Before the man could continue about whatever he was talking about, Tom politely, but quickly excused himself with a pat on his shoulder and met with you in the midst of the room.

He inhaled deeply to appear unaffected, like you didn’t just ruin his entire night–entire life–by taking his breath away and looking drop-dead gorgeous. He wouldn’t be too surprised if you killed him.

“This place is ethereal,” You said, head spinning and arms waving. “I cannot believe you made me come to this.”

“Why? You don’t like it?”

“Tom, I just said it was beautiful. Of course I like it. It’s just…a lot,” Your arms cross and you tuck your clutch under your armpit. “I don’t think this scene works for me.”

“Me either. You stick out like a sore thumb,” He teases with an exaggerated sigh. You dramatically gasp.

“What is that supposed to mean?!” You whisper-shout, leaning closer to him. He feels your breath fan his cheek and a slight blush creeps up his neck at the proximity. He doesn’t want to look down because he knows that he would get a glimpse of your breasts perched up by your crossed arms. However, his eyes betray him as his glances quickly at the pair causing a subtle twitch in his cock.

No more looking, Tom, he tells himself.

“You’re way prettier than all of these people. You’re killin’ all of their egos and raising all of their jealousies. If everyone hates me, I’m blamin’ you and that goddamn dress,” Tom expresses with gritted teeth, eyes wandering anywhere but yours. A wave of heat rushes up your neck and your eyes have a staring contest with the carpet.

When you finally have the courage to look back up, his eyes are piercing into yours causing your skin to feel flushed all over. The glare of his brown eyes kindles a small fire in the pits of your stomach, dull but throbbing. The feeling travels lower until there’s a slight drip in your thong.

“I’m glad I chose a good one,” He adds, eyes drifting to scan your entire frame once again with his hands behind his back. Your breasts raise up and down with the deep breaths you take, still unable to comprehend his previous words. You shake your head.

“You chose it?” You always thought it was some stylist, or literally anyone else but Tom. You thought it was just his money that he used to rent it. “Do you always choose my dresses?”

He nods matter-of-factly. “Of course. I’d like to think I know what you like.”

He wasn’t wrong. Every dress that he chose looked like it was made exclusively for you and only you. Whether it was flowy or tight, red or white, you always managed to leave the hotel room more confident than you had when you entered. Now that you think about it, you don’t remember ever telling Tom your sizing. It must have been something he learned along the way because like you said, every dress fit perfectly like it was tailored for you.

Before you could respond, a lady tapped on his shoulder and introduced herself. Tom didn’t hesitate to take a step back and introduce both himself and you. You greeted the lady kindly as you three talked about the goodness of the event. After a few minutes, the auction was set to begin and Tom had to excuse himself.

Before he went on stage, he showed you your seat, which was right in the front with Harry, Sam, and Paddy. You didn’t sit before giving them each a heartwarming hug, even though you saw them all yesterday. Even though you were in a glamorous ballroom you weren’t used to, you felt comforted by the boys you were close enough with to call the brothers you never had.

Sometimes, you wished you saw Tom that way. But when you compared the feelings in your heart and your head, you knew they could never be the same.

Finally, the auction started. Tom’s name glowed in dotted lights on the striped wall behind him. You turned your whole body to face Tom as he introduced the entire event before it got kick-started. Many items were being auctioned; paintings, autographed guitars, and other things that were so far out of your price range that you were deaf to all numbers over the thousands.

In between each item were fun little trivia games to keep the people awake and alert. It was an entertaining way to support a charity, and you felt a sense of pride because you knew it had been Tom’s idea. One of the trivia questions had been to guess how many na’s there were in “Hey Jude” by The Beatles. Some people got insanely close, but no one got it on the money.

After all the auctioning and bidding was over, you felt immensely poor, but felt instantly better when Tom came to sit next to you. The room chatted away, wining and dining while Tom’s brothers did the same. Unlike them, Tom turned to you.

“How are you?” His voice was raspy, probably from talking for hours. That subtle fire in your stomach tingles at his voice. You turn your body to face him.

“I’m good. You did really well up there, by the way,” You said, lifting your nearly empty wine glass to your lips. There’s a blurring stain from your shiny lip gloss on the rim.

“Thanks, love,” The graveliness of his throat doesn’t fade, even after he takes a few sips of water. You watch as his fingers wrap around the cup, and it’s embarrassing that you’re obsessed with his simplistic movements. You subconsciously lick your lips, unable to rid the dirty thoughts piling in your head.

Tux. Pretty. Hot. Raspy voice. Thick fingers.

Tom’s lips started moving, but you weren’t paying enough attention, too caught up in your head to focus on the living dream in front of you.

“What?” You asked, subtly leaning toward him. He leaned closer, lying a hand on your bare thigh through your slit. You quietly gasp because his hand is chilly from the water, but also because it was so close to where you ached. Your skin burned nearly causing you to break out in a sweat, contradicting his icy palm.

“Are you okay?” His other hand gently patted against your forehead and caressed your hot cheek with his thumb. “You’re warm.”

No shit. Does he see what he’s doing?

You couldn’t formulate a response when his hand traveled down to rest on the curve of your shoulder and neck. His hand on your mid-thigh rubbed reassuring circles as your heart thumped a million miles an hour.

“I’m fine,” You vaguely answered in a squeak, subtly squeezing your thighs when his touch got too much. His eyes glance briskly at your tightened thighs and anxious hands in your lap, a knowing eyebrow raising slightly. Tom didn’t mean to put his hand on your thigh, but now that it was there, he didn’t want to remove it. When he saw you squirm for a sliver of a second, he engaged in the idea that you might be turned on.

The thought made his cock twitch needily in his pants.

You didn’t notice, too concentrated on the feeling of his hands on you.

You wanted him to slide his hand up higher, to break that boundary that you’ve waited years to cross. But of course, when your chances were closer than ever, you had to be at some stupid, very public event. And doing anything explicit would be stupid.

“Are you sure? You’re burning up, love,” Tom’s hand squeezes the back of your heated neck causing you to inhale sharply. “And you’re so tense. What’s up, Y/N?”

You clenched your teeth. You began to run through every excuse in your mind, just like you had when Tom first asked you to this event. But he wasn’t texting you or calling you this time. He was sitting right in front of you with his hands on your neck and thigh. You nearly moaned out from just him rubbing your skin, his touch delicate with his rough skin. With every excuse you thought of, you couldn’t think of one that made sense enough for Tom to want to leave you alone for the rest of the night so you could collect yourself.

“I’m just really hot,” You complained in a low voice. Tom’s eyebrows raised, pursing and tightening his lips. To Tom, your voice sounded whiny and lustful. His dick stirred, slightly hardening at the growing conclusion that you’re highly aroused. Like him.

“What can I do, love?” He noticed the smallest quiver of your lip at the name, almost as if you were holding something in. He’s called you love for ages, so maybe it was something else. Or someone else…

What if it wasn’t even him? If it wasn’t him then what had you so worked up?

“Um…can we go outside? Need some air,” Your eyes traveled down to his pink lips, looking so soft and kissable. You were barely a foot away from him before he nodded and stood up. You didn’t know you were holding your breath until a wavering sigh left your mouth. Tom extends his hand and you follow him to what you assume is outside.

He leads you out a back door after giving a curt nod to a security guard. The chilly February night breeze brushes over your skin, finally cooling you down as Tom releases your hand. The exit led to an alleyway, a brick wall that grew darker one way. You strained your eyes on each brick and attempted to concentrate on your breathing. But Tom’s looming presence made it impossible because that fire in the pit of your stomach never dulled.

“Feelin’ better?” He broke the silence and it had you swinging your head to face him. You shakingly nodded your head with a quick hum.

You couldn’t take it. You couldn’t stand so close to him while you were feeling this way.

“I have to go,” You exhaled briskly before beginning to walk away. Tom told you to wait, but you didn’t.

You didn’t get more than a few steps before Tom caught your hand and spun you around magically. Your shoulders collided with the surface as he stood in front of you, caging you to the wall. Your breathing faltered as your heart bounced crazily against your ribs, skin beginning to burn up again. He faced the floor before finally meeting your wide eyes. He gazed at you as if he was searching for something and you wanted to give it to him, whatever it was, so he would stop looking at you intensely.

“Why do you always do that?” His voice was a whisper, low and still a tad raspy.

“What?” You scanned his features, allured by his lips only inches away from yours. He’s never been so close and it was dangerous. So, so dangerous. The only barrier in between you was that line of friendship that thinned with every passing second.

“Always run away. Every time…”

Your heart raced faster than it ever has before. It thumped out of your chest like a lovestruck cartoon character as he had you hanging on every single word.

He closed his eyes for a moment, seeming to collect his thoughts. “Every time I get close. Every time I want to be closer, you make up some excuse so you don’t have to be near me. Am I that horrible, Y/N? Is the possibility of this that horrible?”

Possibility? Possibility of what? Oh, please be what you’re thinking.

“No, God, of course not. You’re perfect. You’re too perfect that I get…overwhelmed when I’m near you. I can’t do this,” You shake your head and try to duck away under his arms. You’re completely disarmed when one of his hands drops to pin your hip down. Your wiggling comes to a halt.

“There you go again. Just stay, Y/N,” He leans toward you, mouth hovering near your ear. Your senses dial up to a hundred when you feel his breath tickle your skin. “You’re still warm, Y/N.”

You bite your lip, holding in a whimper that was threatening to leave your mouth. Your hips subtly moved against his hand that stationed you to the wall, but you weren’t going anywhere.

A thick thigh parts your legs, pinning you to the wall more securely. You gasp as his hand that was on your hip travels up and brushes over the warm skin of your cheek. You search for the words in your brain.

Maybe instead of avoiding it, just go with it.

Tom is struggling. Being this close to you has his cock rock hard under his trousers. He’s sure you could feel him against your bare leg, which was slightly spread for his own leg. His chest was restricting and blocking his air flow because he couldn’t breathe correctly. Your glossy lips were plush and soft, and he wanted nothing more than to kiss you until you shared oxygen.

You felt what you assumed was his large boner on your thigh. You mewled so delicately you weren’t sure if he heard it, but he did.

You felt years of friendship being slowly torn apart with every second he didn’t say something. You were about to push him off of you and sprint towards your hotel, which was miles and miles away, so you could die of embarrassment. Or maybe you would die because of your lack of cardio.

When you looked away from him, his hand adjusted your chin so you were staring directly at him. A soft kind of smile adorned his lips, but no words were spoken quite yet. You hated the sliver of hope that leaked from your heart. His thumb rubbed against your bottom lip and pulled it down, smearing your lip gloss.

“Do you know how long I’ve waited to kiss these lips?” Throat husky, he pushed himself impossibly closer to you, lips barely an inch away now. His nose bumped yours and you felt the breath evaporate from your lungs. “Sixteen years.”

“Sixteen years…” You repeated breathily. If you were to do the math, which your brain was very incapable of doing right now, that would be your entire friendship. Since you were only ten years old, Tom has been waiting to kiss you.

Tom’s been waiting to kiss you for sixteen years? That must mean…

“Promise you won’t run away,” Tom said, on the edge of pleading and demanding. A slow nod was all you did, and then Tom’s thumb slid down to your chin and tilted your head.

He pressed his lips to yours gently, slowly molding you both together. The motions are so agile, but you can feel everything this way. The tip of his tongue nudges yours, eliciting sparks of fire with every push of your lips. Your polished nails trail up and lightly scrape the soft hair on the nape of his neck. A swirl of passion ignites in your stomach, encouraging and begging for more. Eagerly, your movements got faster, rocking your heads together as you took in as much of one another as you could.

His body pins desperately into yours, smushing you against the rough wall. He removes his hand from your chin and slams it on the wall beside your head. His free hand lifts one of your legs, so he can slot himself in between you. A needy whimper escapes you as his clothed bulge presses against your damp thong. You clench around nothing but the aching and throbbing of your pussy.

“T-Tom, the dress–” You pant.

“I’ll buy you another one,” He slams his lips back on yours to shut you up, which of course, it works. But not for long before another excuse is popping up in your head.

“What if someone walks out here–”

“I’ll kill them,” He goes to kiss you again.

“Tom!” You dramatically shout with a giggle as your hand rests on his chest while the other is on his neck.

“Okay, I won’t actually kill them. Unless you want me to…” He drifts off, getting lost in your smile and your sparkling eyes.

At that moment, it hit him. He had you. He finally had you. Like he’s said, he’s waited sixteen years to have you. He’s been through trial and error with other girls, but they weren’t you. No one could ever be you.

Suddenly, someone bursts through the exit door and has both of your heads turning hastingly. Tom gently releases your leg as he scoffs annoyingly when he realizes it’s just his brother. His hand balls into a fist on the wall as he smiles irritatingly at Harry.

“There you are! Can you save this for later? We have things to sign and people to acknowledge,” Harry says before walking briskly back into the building.

“Yeah, let’s just “save this for later” like I haven’t waited long enough,” Tom mocks his brother with a grumble. You feel Tom sigh into the air. You bring your hand to caress his cheek reassuringly. After the last few minutes, you’ve gotten the courage to be a bit more vulnerable with him, without feeling the urge to run away.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve waited a long time, too,” You curl the corners of your lips into a faint smile as you watch your own thumb smooth over his tan skin. Tom practically melts into your touch, smiling goofily at you. “But we’ve waited this long, what’s a few more hours going to do?”

“Kill me,” Tom mumbles dramatically and you roll your eyes. “I don’t want you to run away.”

Your heart aches at his words. You made a promise to him, and you planned to fulfill that. After that kiss and feeling him in ways that you only imagined, you couldn’t run away now. You needed more of him, all of him. But even if you had all of him, you don’t think you’d be able to leave him again.

“I’ll stay by your side all night. Just like you asked,” You reassured and he nodded. He slowly backs away from the wall, releasing you, and all the heat between you dissipates. But your skin still burned from his touch and your clit still throbbed for him. You quickly adjusted your dress and wiped your hands over the fabric.

“How does the dress look? Fucked up?” You asked, spinning in a half circle. Tom cursed to himself, getting a view of the curve of your ass. That dress really did fit you perfectly, but he wanted nothing more than for it to be off of you.

“Not nearly as bad as I want it to be,” He husked, the sexual innuendo hanging in the air. He quickly swipes his thumb under your lip to fix your smeared gloss before leading you back inside. You blink a few times as he drags you through the door. You weren’t used to him being so blunt, but you loved it. It made you aware that there was something between you and Tom.

You had both surpassed the line of friendship ages ago. You looked back at it like a distant horizon as you entered a new, long-awaited arena; romance.

–

After what you swear was the longest two hours of your life, Tom had talked to every person at least twice with the addition of his goodbyes. Ever since you came back from outside, the tension between you and Tom was undeniable. You stuck to your word and were tied to Tom’s side for the straining hours. His hand was placed on your lower back for most of the night torturing you, and it was no different when he was ushering you out of the front door. Hastily, you both went down the steps and into the car with Eddy.

You tried your best to make normal conversation with Eddy like you usually do, but when Tom placed his large hand on your bare thigh again, it was hard to comprehend anything. Eventually, you entered traffic and Eddy got a phone call. He pressed a button and the wall that separated him from you and Tom was rolled up.

Tom gave you a knowing look as his hand raised higher on your thigh. Your breath hitched as his fingers were merely inches from your drenched heat. You instinctively spread your legs a bit wider, allowing him more access. He leans toward you, purposefully missing your lips and pecking your cheek. He tucks a stray strand of hair around your ear causing shivers to crawl up your spine.

“Are you wet, darling?” His thumb rubs dangerously close to your clothed cunt. Finally, his finger skims over the laced fabric, soaking. You whine when his delicate, teasing touch pets your clit. He chuckles hoarsely. “You’re soaked, baby. Have you been like this all night?”

You nod with closed eyes. “Please, touch me, Tom,” You plead quietly, in fear that Eddy might hear you.

“In the back of the car? Naughty thing,” His fingers press harder into your seeping hole, still covered by your panties. He rubs your hole, thumb petting your clit while your hand slaps over your mouth to keep you quiet. Your chest rises quickly with your racing breaths, your nipples poking at velvet material.

Tom slides your thong to the side, making bare contact with your dripping cunt. He massages your arousal around your folds while his thumb quickens its pace on your throbbing clit. That fire in your lower belly burns deliciously as his movements send you into a frenzy.

“Tom,” You mewled behind your hand suctioned to your face. Tom groans as his middle finger slips into your hole easily. Your hips buck into his touch, back slightly arched.

“Almost there, Mr. Holland,” Eddy informs on the other side of the wall. Your eyes widen as your heart beats quickly in a panic.

What if you get caught? Oh God, you would seriously die of embarrassment.

“Okay,” Tom replies simply, as if he’s unaffected and he isn’t fingering you in the back of a car. Tom’s voice lowers and instantly becomes raspier. “Are you almost there, Y/N?”

You remove your hand from your face, so you can hold onto his shoulder and nod briskly. Your nails dig into his tux jacket as your head slams against the leather seat. Rolling your hips for more, Tom inserts another finger into you and curls them. Your teeth stab into your bottom lip, probably drawing blood, so you don’t scream and alert the whole street.

“I need you to come, love. Right now,” His order was soft and sexy, but demanding and dirty. The thrusts of his fingers only increase in pace as he tries to get you to your orgasm before the car comes to a stop. With another curl of his fingers and a nudge to your clit, your stomach tightened until relief flooded over you.

Noticing this, Tom crashes his lips onto yours to dull your sweet noises. Every moan, scream, and whimper melts into his mouth as his fingers gradually pump into you. Your legs spasm intensely as your release coats his fingers. Tom pulls away from you and takes his fingers out from your sopping cunt, messy with your arousal and cum.

He doesn’t hesitate to raise the substance up to his pink lips, licking it clean off his hand with a devilish smirk on his face. You watch him do so with a widened mouth while you try to catch your breath, panting.

“Did so good, love,” His smirk never fades as the car comes to a stop. Before you know it, Eddy is unlocking and opening your door for you both. You exit first while trying to fix your disheveled appearance, so your post-orgasm look isn’t too suspicious. You mumble a thank you as you hurriedly walk to the front door of the lavish hotel. You stop in your tracks, almost forgetting your clutch in the car. Turning around, you walk back to the car and overhear Eddy and Tom again.

“I’m no fool, Mr. Holland. You told her.”

“I know you’re not, Eddy. And I did. Finally,” Eddy pats him on the shoulder. “And you can call me Tom, you know. We’re friends.”

“I know, I know. Because as your friend and driver, I know when to roll up the partition.”

As a wave of heat rushes up your neck and cascades onto your face, you realize that the clutch wasn’t that important and someone would return it. You resume your fast-paced walk into the hotel with an uncontrollable smile on your face.

A girl in love with her best friend.

–

Since you didn’t have your clutch, you were standing in front of your hotel room waiting for Tom. He wasn’t long after you, finally walking up to you with a smug smirk on his face. And your clutch in his hands. You snatch it from him.

“Finally, I can take these heels off,” You moan, slipping them off as he scans the card and unlocks the room. You place them on the floor near the door and head straight for your room. You don’t get too far, though, because Tom captured your hand and is twirling you around just like earlier in the night.

He traps you on the door, instantly warm against you. You feel his bulge poke your bare thigh as he spreads your legs slightly, fitting in between them. He grabs your hands and pins them above your hands.

“Your dress,” Rough and raspy, his breath fans your cheek.

“What about it?” You whisper, swallowing as your heart falters.

“I need it on the floor,” He husks. You hesitate, so aroused you can’t think straight. You just had an orgasm in the car and you were already horny again. This man made you insatiable.

“Then take it off,” You reply. Everything was so quiet around you. The only things you could hear were your ragged breathing and galloping heart. Tom groans, but listens.

He drops your hands and then folds the straps off your shoulders until your dress is pooled around your ankles. Now, you stood anxious in nothing but a black thong.

“Fuck me,” He grumbles after just looking at you for a second. Your breasts were bare and perky, nippled pebbled from being so turned on. He wanted to put them in his mouth and suck on them until you were sore and begging him to stop.

“That’s the goal,” You’re not sure if he got the reference, but he chuckled, voice even more raspy from the low talking.

“I knew you heard that conversation, you minx,” Without a warning, Tom sweeps you off the ground and throws you over his shoulder. You squeal, squirming in his hold, but it doesn’t even phase him as he leads you toward his bedroom. He jokingly slaps one of your ass cheeks causing you to shriek at the jolt of pain. You won’t lie, it turned you on even more.

Tom tosses you on the bed easily, watching as you scramble to lay on your elbows. You gaze at him with a seductively lip bite, wondering what he has in store for you.

“Touch yourself,” He orders as he loosens his bowtie around his neck. “C’mon, want to see what you can do.”

Hesitatingly, your hand sails down to your laced thong, slick with arousal. Your fingers rub your throbbing clit causing you to sigh and spread your legs. Your eyes drift shut as you get immersed in the feeling of your own hand. Your other hand massages your breast, gently pulling on your nipples. Getting eager, you yank your panties off. You get a glimpse at Tom, who is admiring your every move in nothing now.

Fuck.

You’ll never get used to Tom’s body. He was attractive on a God-scale level and sometimes that scared you. But finally seeing his whole body was jaw-dropping. His cock was girthy with a good amount of length that you had a feeling would kill you. His tip was pink like his lips, and like his lips, you wanted your mouth on it. Was he even real?

You didn’t get too much time to think about it because Tom was removing your hand from between your legs while hovering over you. His brown orbs ogle yours, piercing into your soul and reading you. Although you were way past friendship, entering the “romance” area was very scary. If not, scarier. Tom’s body above yours and the way you could see every detail of his skin terrified you. But you’ve never wanted something more in your entire life.

You pushed your head up, interlocking your lips with his. You melt into a passionate kiss, your hands entwining with his brown locks. Tom drags his lips down your neck, sucking for a moment on a sensitive part. Moaning, his smirks smugly against your skin, trailing lower. He meets your breast and immediately begins to suck on it.

You sharply inhale as his tongue swirls around the bud. His other hand twists the other causing your back to bend off the mattress. It should be illegal for him to be this good with his mouth. He could cause some serious damage.

He sails lower and lower until he’s kissing the skin near your heat. You’re already panting and he hasn’t even touched you yet. His mouth licks your thighs, teasing you immensely. You had already come once tonight around his fingers, you didn’t expect his mouth too. Although you would love to have his mouth on you, right now, you just needed him inside of you. You needed to feel him stretch you out and officially break that boundary.

“I really need you inside of me. Like right now,” You yank on his hair, pulling him towards you. He moans at your words and you love how vocal he is.

“Need a condom, fuck, hold on–”

“Can you actually um…not have one?” You suggested, voice shaky as the question came out. You just wanted to feel him. Everything that he was willing to give you, you wanted. You’ve both waited too long for this. In some way, you felt like you were in a relationship with him this whole time.

Maybe that’s what friendship to relationship feels like.

“Are you…are y’sure? I mean, I’m clean and everythin’–”

“Tom,” You put a reassuring hand to his warm cheek. “I’ve never wanted something more.”

“Christ,” He grits and strokes his shaft above your cunt a few times. His tip teases your entrance, and the small, but very bare contact had you both hissing into the air. “So fucking wet for me.”

His dribble of pre-cum mixes with your arousal as he rubs himself against you. Finally after ten years of waiting, literally, he slowly pushed himself inside of you. The crown of his cock is squeezed by your walls as if you were going to lose him. He curses, pulling himself out an inch, just to add more of his length.

Just like you craved, you feel the impending stretch as his entire cock gradually enters you. Once he’s fully in you, you sigh as he holds the position for a moment. You both take in the feeling of the moment; you’re never going to forget his body on yours or the look on his face as he slowly moves.

“God, you’re so fuckin’ tight, darlin’,” Tom moans with a lip bite.

“Please, please, move,” Just as eager as you, he obeys your request.

He lifts his hips, almost pulling completely out, before thrusting back inside. You cohesively moan, your mixed sounds echoing off the hotel walls. His leisure rocks gently accelerate into powerful pumps, hitting that sensitive spot with a simple nudge of his cock. Your body naturally levitates toward his body, pushing your neglected breasts on his skin.

Tom rams his cock into you, pinning you to the bed with his harsh thrusts. His head falls in the cradle of your shoulder as one of his hands lifts your leg to spread you wider. When his dick sinks entirely deeper, you gasp and drown in a mix of moans and screams. Your nails dig into his tough shoulder blades, probably leaving crescent moon shaped marks. Your leg wraps around his backside, forcing him to be deep inside of you forever.

Your head is thrown back onto his pillow, hair fanned out wildly. When Tom lifts his head to look at you, the wind practically gets knocked out of him. You were drop-dead gorgeous in your dress, like he said. God, your naked, bare figure nearly sent him into cardiac arrest. But watching you wither in complete bliss underneath him gave him a sense of pride that he was the one making you feel this way. No one else. And it would never be anyone else ever again.

With this thought, his cock pumps barbarically into you, rightfully proving to you that your friendship will never be the same. He repeatedly pokes at your G-spot, eliciting debauched shrieks from you. When you thought it couldn’t feel any better, Tom’s hand sneaks between you both and circles lightly on your clit.

“Feels so good. God, you’re so good,” You praise breathily. Clenching around him, a shuddering moan leaves him. “I’m so close, please.”

“Gonna come for me, hm? Need to feel you come around my cock,” Tom orders with another jarring thrust into your cunt. Your eyes roll to the back of your head with his demanding words, your body on the verge of caving.

Squeezing around him greedily, your entire figure tenses as an overpowering wave of relief floods over you. Your abdominal muscles clench intensely, your hands cramping from fisting his skin so hard. Your legs flutter around him as you begin to coat his cock in your release. At the same time, you feel the twitch of Tom’s length inside of you, alerting you that he’s close.

“Where do you want me to…” He grunts when you clutch around him from overstimulation. A string of curses leak from his mouth as he holds back his load, waiting for your response.

“I-Inside, please. Fuck, I need it inside of me, Tom,” You panted as he practically growls against your perspired skin.

“Fuckin’ killing me, angel. Shit,” Finally, Tom releases into you, pumping sloppily as he does so. You sigh relievingly as his orgasm covers your walls, tingling your insides. He slowly pushes every drop inside of you, ensuring you didn’t miss any.

Your eyelids flutter closed as Tom falls on the bed beside you. Your body sinks into the mattress beneath you, suddenly too tired to move. You had a keen feeling that tomorrow you would struggle to walk, or move in general.

“Tom,” You start. “I think you just ruined me forever.”

“Good,” His post-orgasm was somehow even more sexy. It was groggy and double raspy. He drags your body towards him and holds you close. Your head relaxes on his buff chest, his rapid beating heart making you smile to yourself. “I want to ruin you for everyone else.”

The heat on your skin that you thought had ceased never did, not with his flirtatious and alluring comments. A flush creeps up and makes your cheeks all warm against his torso.

“You know you’re mine now, right?”

“That’s definitely not how I pictured you asking me out…”

“Well, how did you picture it?” The truth is, you never really pictured it. You never let yourself think that far because then you would start getting hopeful. And being hopeful made you scared, and when you were scared…you ran away. It was a constant loop of life you lived in. However, with Tom lying beside you as your face was cradled in his chest, you had a feeling you wouldn’t have a problem staying this time.

“How about “Will you be my girlfriend?” That seems better.”

“But what if you said no? Might as well jus’ say you’re mine, so you can’t,” He kisses the top of your head softly while you roll your eyes at his foolishness. “Aren’t you glad you went now?”

“Yeah, yeah,” You wave him off. Realizing you have to get up from the comfort of his security, you gently push yourself up into a sitting position.

“I really don’t want to get up.”

“Then don’t? Just stay here. We don’t ever have to leave this room again.”

“As much as I love you, I’m not sleeping with a face full of makeup,” You begin to slide off the bed before you realize what you just said.

Oh fuck. Did you just admit you loved him after not even five minutes of being in a relationship?

“You love me?” He gripped your wrist, but didn’t spin you like what he did earlier. This time he let you stand still in shock of your own words. In every other situation you would have run away or made some excuse. But you wanted to be different. You didn’t want to be so easily intimidated by intimacy or vulnerability anymore. You really did love Tom, you always have, even if it took you a little longer than him to realize it.

Maybe instead of avoiding it, just go with it.

“Yeah, I do,” You smile full-heartedly at Tom, delicately biting your lip. A part inside of you bursted open, unlocking all sorts of emotions you didn’t know how to comprehend or express.

“I love you too, So much,” You both lean in to share a passionate kiss, but you cut it short to seriously push him off of you, so you could leave and wash up. If you didn’t have an ounce of self-control for the both of you, you would never leave this hotel room. Tom was clearly the insatiable one.

“If you don’t come back to my bed in five minutes, I’m dragging your ass in here. No warnings,” Tom says before you strut out of his room completely naked. You hear him groan to himself, which makes you giggle like a young school girl.

Walking to your bathroom, the same uncontrollable smile etches on your face like the one you had when you returned to the hotel. You splashed icy cold water to your heated cheeks and tried to rub away the plastered grin, but nothing could dull the adoration you felt for the other man in your hotel room. Instead of trying to erase it, you stared and allowed yourself to feel the emotion without running away from it.

A girl in love with her best friend.

A boy in love with his best friend.

Best friends who are stupidly in love with each other.

–

this was wayy longer than i thought. i liked this a lot more than i thought i would, too. i hope you enjoyed it just as much :D

tags: @lnmp89 @crybabyddl @pretty-npeach @marine-mayday @aerangi @justanotherpasserby-blog @tinafuentes @moniffazictress11 @eywaheardyou @alwaysclassyeagle @mrstealuregirl @bisexual-desi @sherlockstrangewolf @madsttx @graywrites20 @bradtomlovesya @raajali3

crossed out= not able to tag

#shawnxstyles #tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland fan fics #tom holland fan fic #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland one shot #tom holland fluff #tom holland best friends to lovers #tom holland friends to lovers

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imsadstuff · 1 year

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Loving You Is Red - A Jeon Jungkook Fic

Synopsis: Jeon Jungkook's name was unheard on the Formula 1 paddock till he got a chance to drive a Mercedes car as a reserve driver. His 2020 starts looking brighter as he signs with Ferrari and meets you, his team mates little sister. So many cliched tropes, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, dating brother's best friend, and most importantly Jeon Jungkook looks smoking hot in a Ferrari! Genre: Fluff, angst, slice of life and humor Author's Note: Sorry for the delay, I've been busy with university stuff. This took a lot of time and energy, so I hope you enjoy reading this. If you do please leave me a like or comment, please don't be a ghost reader! Word Count: 28k+ (I reccomend reading on a desktop if possible!) Warnings: Sexual themes, drinking, and just a whole lot of fluff.

Link to my masterlist if you want to check out my other stuff : here

AO3 link incase you prefer that: here

Race 16 Singapore Grand Prix 2019

Race weekend is always exciting, especially when it is a night race. The city felt alive as the crowd buzzed around, ready for the race to start. Walking beside your father, you stop periodically as he stops and talks to a million people through the paddock.

The Ferrari garage is buzzing with tension as your father goes up and pulls your brother in a tight hug, “Lets win, just like last year!” your father is gleaming with pride thinking of your brother’s glorious win in Singapore last night.

“How did the doctors go?” Philip asks as you kiss his cheek, after a shattered ankle, back injury and multiple head injuries a year ago, doctor visits have been regular for you.

“There’s progress, I might go back on ice again” you reassure him and he gives you a big, pleased smile. Phillip soon gets back in the car as everyone gets ready to race, he looks at home in the car.

“The two-time world championship winner Phillip Lee is starting at pole position followed by the other ferrari and mercedes” the commentator's voice booms in your headphones as you look at the cars line up.

“It’s an important race for ferrari to maximise points. The mercedes team feels weak today as their lead driver has to sit out of the races due to sickness. The replacement is mercedes reserve driver Jeon Jungkook, starting at P10” the camera pans to a new face for you, you’ve heard Jungkook’s name a few times, after he almost won the Formula 2 championship last year.

Jungkook feels like he’s given a unique and once in a lifetime opportunity when he was asked to fill in for Hamilton. His dreams of driving for a formula 1 team have felt impossible as he was still out of a contract mid-way through the season, this race is his opportunity to show how deserving he is of a seat.

You can feel your heart beat loudly as the countdown starts and within a blink of an eye the cars are zooming through. You’ve seen a million races by now, but each gives you the same adrenaline rush, you wonder how great it’s for the drivers.

Usually, the race would be focused on Hamilton and Phillip fighting to be the lead, but tonight the mid field seems to be more intriguing. “Oh, he’s fast, so fast” your father says as you watch the 14 number car zoom through the midfield. “What is my current position?” Jungkook asks as he starts lap number 30. “P 5, that was the fastest lap of the race. Keep out on turn 6, there might be some debris” his engineer says and Jungkook can feel a migraine coming, but he pushes through.

The crowd is visibly in awe as Jungkook zooms through the other mercedes car, just behind the two ferraris. “Jungkook, 2 seconds behind you and he’s catching up fast, mode push” the engineer tells Chuck, the other ferrari driver as he groans. The two of them go tire to tire for two turns until Jungkook finally takes over and you aren’t proud but you’re cheering against your brother right now. “Fantastic overtake Jeon, let’s push and try our best” Jungkook engineer says and Jungkook asks, “Who’s ahead of me?” “Phillip, five seconds ahead, the focus is to keep dodging Chuck” “Copy”

Everyone’s literally holding their breath as the race enters the last five laps. Jungkook has been struggling to keep off Chuck but it’s the final two laps when Jungkook goes from fast to, extraordinarily fast.

“Fuck!” your father and multiple engineers in the ferrari garage groan as Jungkook successfully manages to overtake Phillip. “Today’s race is going to be one we’re going to remember for the rest of our lives. Currently the driver from South Korea who started at P 10 has managed to end up at P 1, his skills have surprised everyone as he continues to dodge the two-time world champion Phillip” the commentator says and Jungkook enters the final lap of the race. There is a moment at turn 7 when Phillip almost overtakes him, but Jungkook keeps his position.

“This has been one of the most impressive things I’ve seen in the last twenty years of F1 history. A twenty-year-old rookie driver is finishing in the pole position in his first ever formula one race” the commentator says and your father groans as Jungkook crosses the chequered flag.

“Holy shit, HOLY SHIT, FUCk” Jungkook’s voice is barely audible over the radio as the crowd cheers for him and he sobs behind his helmet. “Right ahead park at the P 1 slot Jeon, this has been a life changing race mate!” Jungkook’s engineer sounds elated as the mercedes Jungkook is driving comes to a halt.

You watch through the tv as Jungkook barely gets out the car, the world watches as he sobs, placing his head by a tire, his body feels drained yet he feels like he’s at the top of the world.

Phillip isn’t in the best of the moods as they arrive for the press interviews post the celebrations. But he still turns to Jungkook to congratulate him on the win as they sit down for press interviews.

“So Jungkook, the smile doesn’t seem to be disappearing off your face any time soon. How does it feel to finish at a pole position in a race you ended up in because of Hamilton being sick?” an interviewer asks enthusiastically and Jungkook adjusts his cap before answering.

“It feels surreal, like I’m going to wake up any moment and realise all this was a very vivid dream. I knew when I got a call this Thursday that this was going to be a once in a lifetime opportunity for me and I just wanted to make the most of it” Jungkook is visibly happy as he talks.

“You’re still looking for a seat for 2020 season, offers must be lining up after tonight” another interviewer directs a question towards Jungkook and he takes a deep breath before answering, “I’m cautiously optimistic about my chances of driving next season. Being that it’s mid-season and a lot of teams and locked up their line up for the next year, let’s see what happens”

“Question for Phillip, how do you feel about the 2020 season with a high possibility of Jeon joining a team and racing you next year” and interviewer asks and Phillip chuckles before answering, “Excited honestly, today was one of the most tough race for me of the season and Jeon pushed me to my absolute limit and competent competition like him is what brings out the best in me as a driver”

Jungkook finally catches a breath as he sits down for dinner with his parents and manager. “So, we have an offer from McLaren, they want you to get the feel and spend time at their garage at the next race” His manager says as he barely chews the rice. “McLaren have a good car, top of mid field” his father comments and he nods in agreement. “Who else hasn’t locked up their line up for next year?” Jungkook asks with a mouthful of food. “Aston Martin, McLaren, Alfa Tauri and Ferrari” Jungkook gasps when he hears the last name, not expecting to be on this list. “Chuck might be moving to Alfa Tauri, he’s still in the middle of negotiations but ferrari is a little out of reach to be honest” Jungkook nods when he hears that, historically ferrari is not a team that bets on young drivers. Jungkook doesn’t fall asleep that night, afraid this dream might end.

Race 17 Japanese Grand Prix 2019

Jungkook was all excited to spend the weekend with McLaren’s team, but fate must be really working for him because he was informed late Thursday that he’ll be driving for mercedes again. Hamilton is in better condition but still not in a place to drive

“Tonight's race will tell us if Jeon’s podium finish last week was a stroke of luck or a show of his phenomenal skills. He qualified at P4 so let's see where he is at the end of the race” a news host talks to the camera as Jungkook arrives at the paddock. The second he steps out his car, he’s swarmed with fans and media, he’s still not used to the attention but he smiles and takes a million pictures with fans anyway.

“You must be on the top of the world?” Pierre Gasly asks Jungkook as the walk beside each other, Pierre is a driver for Alpha Tauri, he might be his teammate next year. The two of them go back to carting days, and have known each other for years.

“I’m trying not to let it get to my head, just not think about how much of my career is riding on this” Jungkook answers candidly as they reach the mercedes garage. They talk some more for a few minutes till Pierre’s girlfriend comes and interrupts them.

“Congrats on last week Jeon, I texted you but you never replied” Francisca complains as the two of them hug.

“My phone’s been blowing up, I might have missed it” Jungkook says with a big smile, he can see someone walk up to them.

“Fran come on we gotta get to our seats- oh” you look up from your phone to realise that it’s not just Pierre and Fran, it’s also last race’s winner Jeon Jungkook who gives you a very polite smile. “Hi” you say awkwardly waving a hand at him, he giggles as he waves a hand back. “You guys are watching from the grandstand?” Pierre asks and you nod showing him the tickets. “I have a friend watching too, come on they’re waiting” you say and Fran, she grumbles and reaches over to plaster a big kiss on Pierre’s lips.

“Jesus fuck is he hot” Lily exclaims as Jungkook appears on the big screen, the camera follows as he puts on his balaclava and gets in the car. “Is he dating someone?” she asks Fran and she nods no, “He had a pretty serious girlfriend but they broke up some time this year” Fran has the inside scoop on anything and everything.

There is this silence as the cars line up to start the race, Jungkook’s mind goes absolutely blank as the lights go off and he’s cruising. The first turn results in a big crash between Chuck and the other mercedes car.

“The safety car has been deployed, and both ferrari and mercedes have only one car in the race now” the commentator announces and you watch as Jungkook drives behind your brother once again. Jungkook takes a pit stop in lap number 40, pushing him from P2 to P7, “You have Sainz in front of you, three seconds away” “Copy” Jungkook answers overtaking and reaching P6. It takes him around five more laps to get back to P2.

“Jungkook is tire to tire with Phillip but the ferrari driver is riding on older tires, Jungkook tries to overtake again, and OH Jeon manages to push Phillip off the track a little and takes the pole position” the commentator is basically shouting at this point.

“He was in my way, and hit me” Phillip complains on the radio and his engineer sighs waiting for a word from the stewardess. The accident is shown on the big screen again and the ferrari fans sigh with defeat.

“Phillip is given a five second penalty, maximise distance while he boxes” “Copy” Jungkook’s car zooms by where you’re sitting and it’s hard not to be awed by him.

Phillip is pissed as he walks by Jungkook to talk to a reporter, if he could he’d be back at his hotel room but he has to talk to people. “What a gripping race, you and Jeon were wheel by wheel so many times but he came on top at the end” the interview says and Phillip passes him a tight smile.

“He’s a tough competition but I’m hoping to make up the lost points in the coming weeks” Phillip is very media trained, no matter how pissed he is right now, he is going to try and stay level headed.

“What does it feel like right now? Two consecutive pole positions far from what mercedes must have expected of you two weeks ago” the interviewer asks and Jungkook grins widely as you watch him get interviewed from a distance.

“I’m excited to have my own episode in the next season of drive to survive, thank you Netflix in advance” Jungkook says with a cheeky smirk making everyone around him laugh out loud.

“So, this has to stay between us right now but McLaren made a counter offer” Namjoon, Jungkook’s manager whispers to him and his eyes go wide.

“How much?” Jungkook asks and Namjoon shows him by pulling four fingers up.

“There’s something else too, ferrari’s team principal has requested a meeting later today” this makes Jungkook gasp out very loudly, garnering attention from a few people around them.

Race 18 Mexican Grand Prix 2019

Midway through this year, your schedule has been emptier than expected. Right now, you were supposed to be at the Olympic camp as a part of the figure skating team, instead you were sunbathing in Mexico. Putting on your cover up, you are heading back to your hotel room when you run into someone very unexpected in the elevator.

“Hello” Jungkook is standing against the wall with his manager on the other side. You mumble a meek hello as you stand in front of them. The two of them are talking about last week's race till the elevator reaches a stop and his manager steps out.

“I have some stuff to work out with the lawyers but I’ll come and get you for the signing” the manager says and Jungkook nods. There’s silence as the two of you walk back to your rooms, awkwardly in the same direction.

“So, you are a figure skater?” Jungkook finally breaks the silence and you nod, looking at him a little surprised.

“How’d you know?” “I looked you up on Instagram” he answers with a teasing tone, like, duh he looked you up on Instagram.

“How are your injuries?” he asks, surprising you again. Sure, you make a long post to announce your injuries, but you didn’t expect him to bring it up.

“They’re there” you answer and he gives you a sympathetic smile as he opens the door to his room.

“Congratulations on signing with ferrari” you shout as you walk away from him, he turns around, his big bambi eyes looking around with terror.

“Shhhh!!!! how’d you know?” he says very seriously only, making you giggle as you open your room diagonal to him. “I have my ways” you say with a small smile and he looks away shyly.

The paddock is absolutely buzzing as people continue coming up to Jungkook to congratulate him. His seat on Ferrari was announced last night, and it still does not feel real to him. He makes his way to the ferrari garage as everyone gets ready for qualification.

Photographers take a million pictures as he goes up and greets Phillip, “Welcome to ferrari” Phillip says with actual excitement. “Thank you! It still doesn’t feel read” Jungkook says and Phillip laughs and remembers this feeling. “It won’t till you’re actually in the car” Phillip says and Jungkook chuckles nervously. Jungkook goes around, greeting everyone and all the team members seem to be fascinated with him. By the time the cars go out, you arrive at the garage.

“Good afternoon” he greets you with a cheesing smile that comes up to his eyes. “Afternoon” you mumble looking at the screens as Phillip drives quickly. “So, how are you planning to celebrate Jeon?” your father asks from the other side. “Training and lots of it, I’m also starting Italian lessons” he says and your father chuckles loudly. “buona fortuna!” (good luck!) you say giving Jungkook a thumbs up. “Grazie” Jungkook says with a twinkling smile.

Jungkook is taking diligent notes through the race, you don’t understand half of it between the scribbling and bad handwriting, but he seems focused.

“You’re going to need a red diary now” you tell him and Phillip enters the last few laps of the race, tonight’s race wasn’t as exciting as the last two ones.

“They delivered all this ferrari merch, there has to be diary in it too” Jungkook says shutting his diary.

“What are your plans over the winter break?” you ask him removing the headphones, his have been off the whole time.

“Moving to Monaco, skiing with a few friends and training” Jungkook was dreading the winter break, all he wanted to do was be back in the car.

“What are you doing?” he asks and you sigh having no actual idea. “Doctors appointments, decide if I want to absolutely give up on my dream of figure skating, stay at home and rest because my doctors going to be asking me to do that” you answer absolutely dreading the lonely winters. Jungkook doesn’t know how to reply to that, you might have laid way too heavy stuff on him.

“It’s not all that bad, I’m going to be drinking lots of wine and reading twenty books” you say bringing up the kindle in your hands, you always carry it around with you.

“Reading just requires too much concentration for me” Jungkook answers completely given up on watching the race at this point, he can always rewatch it.

“Yet you drive a formula 1 car with precision” you say with a taunting tone, earning a big laugh from him.

Race 19 United States Grand Prix 2019

You aren’t attending the race this week, instead you decided to fly back home for a doctors appointment. “There’s very slow progress, how does this feel” the doctor asks slightly turning your foot and you grumble with pain.

“The fractures and injuries are healed but there’s some swelling, have you talked to your coach?” the doctor asks as you sit up, you had and he wasn’t happy.

“What are my chances?” you ask the doctor and he sighs, you know you aren’t going to like the answer.

“Your foot injury is healing slow, but your back injury is what alarms me, even with the physiotherapy I’m worried you’re going to have a flare up if you go back on ice” the doctors words are ringing in your ears. You knew this was coming, but it was going to take you some time to accept it.

You’re waiting for your food to be delivered as you get a notification, Unknown Number: *video* You play the video immediately and realise it’s a video of your brother driving out the garage, the camera turns to reveal Jungkook cheering on with your father. Unknown Number: Where are you? You: How’d you get my number? Jungkook: to quote you, “I have my ways” You: You got it from Pierre Jungkook: I have my ways… Jungkook: Where are you? You: I had to see my doctor, I’ll be back for the next race Jungkook: How’d it go? You: I��m drafting my retirement press release soon so not well Jungkook: I don’t know any appropriate response to that, it must be heart breaking You: Just tell me it’s going to be fine Jungkook: ___, I’m sure that it’s going to be fine

Race 20 Brazilian Grand Prix 2019

This is your first time in Brazil, and to put it simply, the food is delicious and for once in your life you aren’t overthinking after eating. You were walking around with Phillip and it’s hard not to be stopped every five seconds but he had to get some shopping done before his trip.

“Why are you being so anxious about perfume, it’s just perfume” you groan as Philip smells the nth perfume of the day.

“Because it’s my first getaway with Maya and I want to smell amazing, it’s very important” he says and the sales person chuckles.

“What are you dinner plans?” you as Phillip as he opens his ferrari, he only drivers a ferrari, on and off track.

“I’m having dinner with Jeon” he mentions nonchalantly and you give him a surprised look.

“I thought you didn’t like him” “I didn’t on track when he beat me, but he’s on my team now, I’d rather him be on my team” he explains driving through the packed city.

“Plus, we’re going to be spending a lot, LOT of time together, I want to get along with him” Phillip has a very close relationship with Chuck too, no matter how much they fight on track.

“So, what are you guys doing for your date?” you say with a teasing tone and Phillip laughs sarcastically.

“I suggested golf but he doesn’t know how to golf so we’re doing a very boring dinner and drinks” Phillip says stopping on a red light.

“Have fun on your date, too bad you won’t get some” this earns another sarcastic chuckle from Phillip. “Jeon’s too pretty for me anyway”

Jungkook’s massaging his head as he walks to the mercedes garage to watch the qualifying. Last night, he drank for himself and Phillip and it resulted in a bad headache and an even worse hangover.

His PR manager comes and finds him for an interview and he groans, reading the agenda. “It’s a simple fluff piece, they’d want to talk more about your interests and hobbies, what you are like as a person and not the f1 stuff” the PR manager says and he nods putting on his sunglasses, the sun might feel a little too bright today.

“I pick up a ton of hobbies, photography, video games, bowling, I’m very good at bowling.” Jungkook feels a little carefree during this interview, no hard-hitting questions.

“No golfing?” “I tell people that I don’t know how to golf when the truth is that I’m bad at golf” he answers, earning a hearty laugh from the interviewer.

“Last night, Phillip posted pictures with you, are you getting along with your future teammate” “Absolutely, I am still a little starstruck around him and I’m glad that I get to work along with him-" Jungkook loses his train of thought when he watches you walk into the paddock. “I, um, so so lucky to be driving for ferrari and learn from a two-time world champion” he finishes the thought massaging his head.

“This is the question I’m curious about the most, do you have a girlfriend?” “I don’t, right now the focus is training for the coming season”

Jungkook: why were you limping? You: When did you see me limping? Jungkook: Arriving at the paddock, what happened? You: Just a flare up, obsessed much Jeon ;) Jungkook: the words you’re looking for is worried, caring, thoughtful, etc. You: Close the thesaurus Jungkook, I’m fine Jungkook: you should ice it, do you have an ice pack? You: yeah I stole one from Phillip You: How’d the interview go with the pretty lady? Jungkook: Obsessed much ___ ;) You: The word you’re looking for is observant, attentive, aware, etc. Jungkook: Focus on icing your foot and close the thesaurus You: Fuck off Jungkook: Gladly :)

Race 21 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix 2019

“Final race of the season and after last week’s competitive race, Hamilton ended up at P1, making your final score close to equal. So much pressure on this race, how are you feeling?” the interviewer asks pushing a mic in Phillip’s face.

“It’s been a tough season, I’m just happy it’s ending” Phillip says before walking away.

You’re in the hospitality area of ferrari, waiting for your father to be done talking to someone, again. Jungkook walks in, flashes you a smile before he goes and talks to someone.

Today you aren’t watching from the garage, the first time Phillip won the world championship, you were late and in the hospitality area, and given how superstitious Phillip is, you’re stuck in the hospitality area.

You: where are you watching the race from? Jungkook: I have a few friends waiting in the grand stand, so from there Jungkook texts you back quickly, looking up and quirking an eyebrow towards you. You: Lucky… I am going to be stuck here Jungkook: Come with me, I got an extra ticket You: Can’t

Before he can ask another question, Phillip walks in the room, and takes a seat beside you. “How you feeling?” you ask him and he sighs leaning back in the sofa.

“I feel like I’m going to throw up” Phillip has a lot riding on today’s race, he can’t lose.

“Want some water?” you offer him a bottle and look up to find Jungkook sitting opposite Phillip.

“Let’s all get drunk after you win, and not just me drinking this time” Jungkook can sense how tense Phillip is, this makes Phillip chuckle a little.

“I’m going to be drinking none the less,” Phillip says and Jungkook chuckles standing up.

“Good luck for the race! I’ll get going my friends are lost” Jungkook says making eye contact with you for just a second.

“Thanks” Phillip stands up, mumbling something about seeing an engineer, you look up at Jungkook, and he taps on your phone, like he’s signalling for you to check it. Jungkook: Text me if you get bored

You’re holding a throw pillow pretty tightly as you watch Phillip enter the last lap of the race. “Hamilton is 2 seconds behind, mode push, mode push” “Stop talking on the radio, I’m trying to win” Philip yells on the radio as the two of them almost touch at a corner but Phillip comes ahead and the crowd goes wild as he zooms past the cheeked flag.

“So sorry for yelling” Phillip apologizes and you wipe a tear, “Don’t worry mate, if you’re winning the world championship for the third time, you can yell all you want” his engineer says and Phillip chuckles.

Phillip doesn’t seem as excited as he walks up to the podium, he seems relieved. Phillip looks around for you in the crowd, but you’re missing.

You know you should be happy for your brother right now, but all his victory does is make you feel miserable about your lost career. Your family doesn’t know about the tough conversation you had with your coach last week, they don’t know about the press release that’s going to be released some time next week.

You notice people coming back to the lounge so you leave, not wanting to answer any question. “___?” you hear a familiar voice as you bump into someone on your way out, looking up you realise that it’s Jungkook. Sniffing your nose, you walk away like nothing happened but Jungkook follows, the image of your running mascara worries him.

“___ what’s wrong?” he stops you, holding you back with your wrist, the question only makes you sob harder. Quietly, he pulls you into a dark corner, not wanting anyone to see this.

“I am the worst sister ever, thinking about myself when my brother achieved something great” you cry out, leaning your head against his chest. Jungkook knows his words can’t console you right now, so he just hugs you tightly till you stop crying.

January 2020

“So, three-minute-long hug and you haven’t talked to him since?” Lily asks and you nod sitting up on the counter. The two of you are hiding in the kitchen during your brother’s birthday party, it’s just too important to gossip about boys.

“He replied to my stories a few times but we haven’t really talked, and I know he’s training and busy and I’m far from his mind but it’s still driving me insane” you grumble eating the cake you stole on your way in.

“It’s his first formula one season, of course he doesn’t have the time for a gir- Jungkook!” you squeal his name as he walks into the kitchen and Lily turns around with a big smile.

“Hey” he says waving his hand as he walks towards you. “Hi” your voice comes out very high pitched, this makes Lily giggly. “Phillip told me you were hiding in the kitchen” Jungkook says running a hand through his hair, his eyes are fixed on you, he hasn’t even noticed the woman standing beside you completely.

“Not hiding, eating cake and-“ “Okay so you two clearly don’t see me” Lily complains, flustering the two of you. “Jungkook, this is Lily, my friend-“ “Her best friend and I’m going to leave, nice meeting you Jungkook” Lily leaves you with a teasing smile and you look at her like an helpless puppy. “Hi” you say again, your face flush with embarrassment, Jungkook has a million things to ask you, a million more to tell you, but he feels tongue tied right now.

“Your parents moved to Germany when you were six months old?” you ask with amusement and Jungkook nods taking the pint of ice cream from your hands. As the party escalated to a club, the two of you disappeared in the crowd, staying back at your brother’s apartment.

“My father got a big mechanical engineering job so we moved from Seoul, they’ve been living in Frankfurt” he says looking at the ocean as he takes a big bite of the chocolate ice cream.

“There’s so much I don’t know about you” you whisper snugging even more into the blanket, it's was pretty windy out here on the balcony.

“I could say the same” he whispers laying his head back on the sofa, it’s hard not to stare in his eyes but you snap yourself out of it.

“How about we each ask a question and both of us answer it” you suggest and he nods immediately. “Comfort food?” you ask turning to face him, he ponders for a second but lights up as he answers, “Any soup my mom makes” “Mine would be a good, juicy, greasy burger” “Favourite movie?” he asks and you answer immediately, “Pride and Prejudice” “Iron Man 2” his answer makes you scoff, so on character for Jungkook. “I’ve never seen a marvel movie to completion” this earns a big old gasp from Jungkook, he sits up straight to look at you with shock.

“Sci-fi and the superhero trop is boring to me” “Don’t you dare sully the good Iron Man’s name” Jungkook says very seriously and you giggle, moving a little closer to him. “I’ve never seen any harry porter movies too” you confess and he laughs sarcastically.

February 2020 You: How’s testing going? Jungkook: I wasn’t able to sleep because of how excited I was to drive the car, and it went not as well as I expected You: What happened? Jungkook: Some engine problems but I’ll be fine Jungkook: What are you up to? You: I am studying to finish the last year of school, and I forgot how bad studying was Jungkook: Sucks to be you, I am out celebrating Jungkook: Why are you awake right now? It’s past midnight in Monaco You: Isn’t it even more past might in Bahrain? Jungkook: Yes, answer me first You: I had coffee late in the evening and now I’m all jittery and anxious You: Now, answer me second :) Jungkook: I had a photoshoot and event later, and another after party and now I’m drunk in bed

Without thinking too much, you press the video call button and he picks up immediately. His flushed face is very close to the camera. “Heyyyyy” Jungkook says dragging the y, knowing it’s going to make you laugh.

“You’re still in a suit, you’re going to wrinkle your suit” you say turning around in bed too.

“I don’t have to wear this again, at least for a while I think” Jungkook wonders out loud getting up from the bed, no matter how tired he is, sleeping in a suit is uncomfortable. He walks up to the massive washroom and places his phone by the sink.

“I’m going to back to the room and change, no peeking” Jungkook says very seriously earning another round of giggles from you.

“I said no peeking ___” Jungkook shouts from the living room, this definitely shows just how drunk he is. “I physically can’t Jungkook” you yell and he is very quiet until there’s a loud groan.

“What happened?” you yell, a little too entertained by drunk Jungkook. “I forgot how to open pants” “I don’t think you open pants, you unbutton them” you correct him, earning another groan from him.

“You know, you can be a huge know it all” he says as he walks back in the washroom with just a towel, hanging very low on his hip. He might be drunk, but he notices the instance change in your demeanour.

“Like what you see ___?” Jungkook says resting his hands against the sink, it takes a full minute to process what he just asked.

“Cockiness is not very attractive Jungkook” you challenge him and he hums splashing some water on his face.

“From my experience, it is” he says and you bite your lip, refusing to show just how much he can affect you. The two of you are playing a dangerous game, but refuse to give up.

“Make sure to drink some water, you can’t afford being hungover” you say looking away from the screen, needed a break from his piercing eyes.

“Worried about me ___?” he asks trying to rile you up again, but your response absolutely softens his heart. “Yes, very much so”

Race 1 Bahrain Grand Prix 2020

“Hey?” Jungkook picks up your call as he catches an elevator up to his room.

“Are you back to the hotel?” “Yeah, I’m on my way to my room” Jungkook says pressing his floor number.

“Can you stop by my room, it’s 504” Jungkook hums a reply, not knowing what to expect.

You’re in the middle of attempting to tidy your room when you hear loud knocks, way earlier than anticipated. Swinging the door open, Jungkook smiles widely, not having seen you in almost two months.

“Cute pj’s” he comments as you let him in, they are in fact not cute pj’s. What you sleep in is a very old, oversize t shirt and gym shorts.

“Sit” you order and he complies immediately, taking a seat on the bed beside you. Wordlessly, you pass him a pale paper bag, there’s some paper rustling till he reaches the gift.

“oh, wow this is embossed” Jungkook says feeling the soft leather of the diary. He’s about to open it when you not so gently swat his hands, “Do that when I’m not there” you whisper and he chuckles, seeing just how embarrassed you are about this.

“I can’t use this, it’s too precious a gift” Jungkook can’t help but keep fiddling with the diary.

“I bought it for you to fill it with diligent notes,” you say, turning to face him.

“Thank you ___” Jungkook’s the one feeling shy right now, more accurately vulnerable. Tomorrow is the first race of his first season, there’s so much pressure and he feels like you can sense just how heavy his shoulders feel.

“Don’t tell Phillip, but I kinda want you to win tomorrow” you say, reaching for his pinkie finger with yours, Jungkook immediately takes charge, intertwining them.

“But whatever happens, it’s going to be alright” you reassure him as he holds your finger very tightly.

“How can you be sure?” he asks, finally looking you in the eyes, his eyes give away his fears and tension immediately.

“Because when I was going through something tough, you told me it was going to be alright and it’s starting to feel alright”

Race 2 Australian Grand Prix 2020

Jungkook finished fourth in last week's race, in an ideal world he’d want to be first but it wasn’t bad either. Jungkook was more excited about his sister and niece joining him for the week in Australia.

“What are you guys up to tonight?” Jungkook asks Phillip to get to the paddock for a test.

“Nothing much, might go to a steakhouse. Why?” “I’ve rented a yacht for the evening, some family is in town, you guys want to join?” was this a ploy to spend more time with you, yes.

“Sounds fun, maybe together we can convince ___ to jump in the ocean” Phillip says with a playful grin on his face.

“Um, excuse me, my fear of the ocean is very rational. I am not a fish, I can’t breathe in water” Phillip and you are arguing about this for the nth time as you walk up the dock.

“How can you two have the same argument with the same statements every time” Maya, Phillip’s girlfriend groans giving the two of you annoyed looks.

Jungkook’s laughter is the first thing you hear as you step onto the yacht, as you walk further up the deck you spot an adorable face that’s been mentioned to you several times.

“Oh, Hi guys!” Jungkook hollers waving his hands as Harper wiggles in his arms. Harper is Jungkook’s two-year-old niece, and seeing Jungkook with kids is not helping you with your “weird” feelings about Jungkook.

“Fish!!!” Harper yells from beside Jungkook and he returns her excitement with actual seriousness. The funniest part of their dynamic is Jungkook talking to her like an adult.

“Nemo” “No that’s not nemo, something else but definitely not nemo” Jungkook corrects Harper and you choke on your beer, finding this very ridiculous. Jungkook looks over at you with questioning eyes as you continue to cough like you’re going to die.

“Can you just let her believe that a fish is Nemo?” you ask standing up to sit a little closer to them. The two couples are off riding the jet skies the minute you got here.

“I’m setting her up for life and all the disappointments that come with it” Jungkook says, stealing the bottle of beer from your hands and taking a long swig.

The offended look on your face doesn’t faze him as he takes another swig. You go back to reading as the two of them look at fishes, Harper’s very into fishes.

Jungkook wants to bring up the diary, specifically the note you’d written on the first page, but you seem too focused on your book. Every time he turns around, he’s fascinated by the intrigued look on your face, sometimes you gasp or laugh with glee, the last one is definitely his favourite.

“Jeon, who was spectacularly starting at P1, unfortunately had to retire the car because of the engine on fire. This is definitely not the spectacular start everyone expected from him this season” the commentator says as you watch on the tv a frustrated Jungkook jump out his car.

“He’s going to be beating himself up about this even if it isn’t his problem” Sora, Jungkook’s sister, comments sitting beside you. Jungkook’s pissed to put it lightly, he’s already dreading the media questions that are going to be thrown at him.

But he pushes through, getting back to the garage and talking to the team principal. Wanting to get away from all this, he changes out of his driving suit and makes way to the hospitality area.

“Uncle Koo!” Harper says, springing up with excitement as Jungkook walks into the room. He picks her up immediately, cuddling her close.

“Next one will be better” Sora tries to comfort him with a gentle pat on his arm.

“Hopefully” Jungkook says, taking a seat beside you. You try and look him in the eyes again and again, through the race, but he keeps avoiding them.

“It’s going to be her bed time soon, I’ll take her back to the hotel” Jungkook’s brother in law says, and he gently transfers an already drowsy Harper from his arms. People are quick to leave when Phillip crosses the race in second place, wanting to go out and celebrate.

“Hey” you say, brushing his hand ever so softly, you want to reach over and hug him, but you don’t know if you should.

“Please don’t tell me the next one is going to be better. I’m tired of hearing that” he says flopping back on the sofa, he feels exhausted like he’s never before.

“I won’t,” you say, reaching over for his hand again, this time he holds onto it, not wanting to let go.

Race 3 Italian Grand Prix 2020

For a ferrari driver, the race in Monza is always the highlight of the season. Jungkook hasn’t gotten used to the fans and attention, but this week has been unreal. Everywhere he turns, he sees someone in red, he realises just how important this race is.

Jungkook: Where are you? He hadn’t heard much from you after the race in Australia, you had mentioned something about taking a little trip while in Italy but he didn’t know you if you were going to be here for the race. You had a plan, you were supposed to explore the Italian countryside and have all the pasta your heart desired for. This was supposed to be the year of fun and travelling around, instead you were laying on the crappy hotel bed with an ice pack on your back.

You: In bed at the hotel, my back hurts like hell Jungkook: What happened?

There’s no response from you for another hour and Jungkook’s all anxious and worried. He’s spaced out for most of the qualifying debrief and Phillip takes note.

“You alright man?” Phillip asks as most of the staff members leave the room. “Just worried about the race, I haven’t been off to the best start” it wasn’t all a lie, Jungkook was worried like he’s never been before about his performance.

Phillip knew Jungkook was his biggest competition, at the end of the day they were fighting for the same title but he couldn’t help but have a soft spot for Jungkook, maybe because he was once a tensed rookie driver.

Jungkook doesn’t let the amazing qualifying performance get to his head. Starting ahead in a race always make his chances of winning the race, but right now tomorrows race is not what he’s thinking about.

“Jungkook?” you exclaim as you swing the door open for him, Jungkook has a wide toothy smile as he shows you the box of pizza he picked up on his way.

“Feeling better?” he asks as you sit on the bed, waiting for him to join you. Jungkook can see how not okay you are based on how difficult it is for you to move.

“Why’s there a sad box of steamed veggies too?” “That’s my dinner, what are you watching?” he asks, sitting against the headboard too. Jungkook’s starting to understand your obsession with the office as he watches along with you. He notices how you turn around every now and then to see if he finds a joke funny, like you are testing him.

You know Jungkook’s in bed by 10 on a night before the race, he’s very particular about his sleep schedule. You reduce the volume when you hear his soft snores beside you, his head awkwardly resting against the headboard can’t be good.

“Jungkook,” you call for him gently, shuffling closer to him. You’re close enough to be able to count his eyelashes, in a moment of weakness, your hand softly grazes his hair off his face.

“Come on, we can’t have your neck hurting tomorrow morning” you say, softly patting his cheeks, this does wake him up. He begrudgingly gets up from the bed, his head knows what the right thing to do is but his heart wants five more minutes.

“Thank you” you whisper to him as he puts on his shoes, he looks back at you with confusion, “For what?” he asks as he watches you stand up in front of you.

You don’t answer his question, instead you get on your tiptoes and softly lay a kiss on his cheeks, “Good luck for tomorrows race”

“You’ve done it mate! That’s P1 in Monza!” Jungkook’s engineer cheers on the radio and his mind goes blank as he enters the cool down lap.

“Fuck, FUCK, Unbelievable!” Jungkook’s short of words as he brings the car to an holt, he has the same feeling he had in Singapore, the feeling is winning is like nothing else.

Jumping out the cockpit, Phillip is already celebrating his second position with the team as he joins them. “Congrats Jeon!” Phillip sounds ecstatic as he greats the younger man. Everything is a blur to Jungkook after he jumped on the team, shouts as he celebrated.

Jungkook’s hair smells like champagne as he gets back to the hotel room, he noticed that you weren’t watching the race from Hospitality like you usually do. He can’t help but smile as he notices a few texts from you. You: CONGRATUALTIONS JUNGKOOK!!!!!!! You: I jumped so hard when you won, might have injured my back more You: So fucking happy for you!!! You: Internet on the flight sucked but I watched you win!!Jungkook: Flight? You: Yeah I flew back to Monaco, my back was getting worse and I wanted to see my doc before it became unbearable Jungkook: hope you feel better :( You: I wished I could’ve seen you win in person :( Jungkook: Don’t worry, I’ll win more races just so you can see me win more

Race 4 Portugal Grand Prix 2020

“The two of you getting along? Is the bromance flourishing yet?” the interviewer asks the ferrari drivers and the two of them break into loud, hysterical laughter.

“I’ve had more dinner’s with Jungkook this year than I’ve had with my girlfriend, so I’d say we’re getting there,” Phillip says and the crowd laughs along with them.

You watch the two of them get another round of questions about the coming race, and it’s fresh to see Phillip getting along so well with a teammate. This had been an issue for him in the past, but friendship with Jungkook came naturally to him.

You click on another pre race promotional video of the two of them, it’s a chaotic game of Song Challenge. The basic premise of the game being the one to guess most of the song names, winning.

“Oh god, this is my game to lose, I don’t listen to a lot of music” Phillip confesses and Jungkook looks at him like he’s confessed to a murder. The game starts as a fun, silly thing but by the end of it, Jungkook’s literally jumping up with excitement when he guesses each song correctly.

“How did you even know all this, you’ve guessed most of them within ten seconds” Phillip grumples, clearly losing this game.

“I listen to music, lots and lots of it” Jungkook says cocklily as the final song plays. The two of them wonder what the song is for a while till Phillip smashes the buzzer.

“Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol” Phillip yells with excitement, knowing he’s right about this.

“You don’t recognise Beyonce’s song but recognise this song?” Jungkook asks with a sour look on his face, he is not a pretty loser. “It’s my sisters favourite song”

“Today was your second pole position of the season, how does it feel?” the interviewer asks right after the race.

“Well, finishing P3 is nothing compared to P1 but it’s exciting to see Ferrari finish with a double podium” Jungkook answers by fixing his cap.

“Around lap 50 you were asked to let Phillip through, sending him from P4 to P1 subsequently,” the interviewer isn’t asking a question, he’s stating a fact to get a rise out of Jungkook.

“Well Phillip was going for the fastest lap and I was happy to let my teammate through,” Jungkook answered pragmatically.

“Are you worried that strategies like these are going to place you as the number two driver in Ferrari?” he has to take a long deep breath before he answers.

“It’s about playing the long game, my team mate is always going to be my biggest competition but at the same time I want to establish my relationship with Ferrari.”

Jungkook looks pissed as he walks away from that interview. It had only been four races so far, but this was each reporter's favourite question, wanting to know if he was brought on board just to help Phillip win the championship.

Jungkook: Are you going to be attending the race in Spain? You: Nope, dad’s going to be attending, I still have some getting better to do Jungkook: :( you feeling any better? You: A lot, even did some yoga today You: I’ll definitely be there in Monaco ;) Jungkook: Are you cleared to do yoga? You: Yes I am , just some stretching and meditation Jungkook: Please be careful… also I have a favour to ask

Race 5 Spanish Grand Prix 2020

Jungkook’s apartment is nothing you imagined it to be, it’s emptier than expected. It’s a humble two-bedroom apartment that’s surprisingly empty. He’d asked if you could be there while someone delivered and built two beds. He'd been sleeping on a mattress on the ground for all three months of the winter break he spent in this apartment.

Jungkook wanted to fix up the apartment mainly because his parents were flying down to watch the race and stay with him while he got a week off between races in Monaco.

“How was qualifying?” you ask Jungkook on facetime, you’re still at his apartment late in the evening.

“P4, could’ve been better,” he sighs as he lays down on the bed, all he was looking forward to was the few days off in the coming week, he desperately wanted to do nothing.

“It’ll be fine, onto more important things. Why aren’t there any plates in your apartment?” you ask and Jungkook laughs, imagining you going through his sad, empty kitchen.

“Because I mostly ate out or ate directly from the pan” “You have two playstations, a full shelf full of marvel figurines, a very expensive racing stimulator but no fucking plates?” your outrage seems adorable to him.

“It’s about what’s important and plates clearly didn’t make the cut” “Well, I bought you a set, and also some snacks and fruits for your parents. I also hung up the curtains you very clearly gave up on, how were you living like this” you ask and he chuckles getting cozy in bed.

“Don’t strain your back for me” Jungkook pleads and you smile looking straight at him.

“I am not, this is just a way for me to distract myself from the fact that I’m bad at studying, it’s almost like I forgot how to study” you sigh sinking deep into his very comfortable sofa.

“How about, to return the favour, I help you study. You might not know this, but I’m very academically gifted” he brags nuzzling his head into the pillow, he’s exhausted from thee day and minutes from falling asleep.

“You need to be spending time with your parents Jeon” you tease, watching his heavy eyes. “I can make some time for you”

Tonight is a rare night as your father and you both watch the race from the living room instead of actually being there. Your father would attend most races in person if he could.

“You want some more?” you ask your father as you get yourself another glass of wine.

“No, I have an early morning with my accountant” silence envelops the living room again as you two silently watch the race. Your relationship with your father has always been a little awkward and distant. You’d spent most of your young years training and skating, your mother was more involved in your life while your father focused on Phillip.

“So, how’s the studying going?” he asks in an attempt to make some small talk.

“Going well, still trying to figure out my plans for college. I’m thinking business or advertising” you offer some more information than he asked, wanting to keep him in the loop.

“Have you thought about real estate? Not to brag but you are related to one of the biggest real estate moguls in Monaco” he says and you chuckle sitting up straight on the sofa.

“I’ve never thought about it, do you think I could do that?” you ask and he nods looking straight at you.

“You can do anything you put your mind on, remember how you’d fall on the ice every five minutes when you first started” he recounts with a grim smile on his face.

“How about this, you come with me to work next monday, spend the day at the office, get to see what a day’s work actually entails?” he offers and you seriously think about it before mumbling. The two of you talk some more about work that you almost miss Phillip finishing third in the race, and Jungkook second.

Race 6 Monaco Grand Prix 2020

“I haven’t been on a date in ages and it’s making me anxious” Lando confesses to Jungkook as they’re walking back from a free practice. Lando was a driver at McLaren, similar to Jungkook’s age so they naturally got friendly towards each other.

“I haven’t been on a date in… a year” Jungkook says and Lando gives him a scoff.

“Why? Not to sound gay but you’re a hot dude Jeon” Lando says and Jungkook laughs hysterically. Jungkook hadn’t ever thought of himself as special looking until he started driving in Formula 2, most of the attention he garnered was based on his looks. The craze just went deeper as he joined Ferrari, at least it has landed him sponsorships with major brands.

“How about we go clubbing after the race, there’s a ton of amazing places here and we got to party when in Monaco” Jungkook agrees to it immediately, he needs to let loose and party a little.

Jungkook: where you at? You: hospitality lounge, chatting with your parents You: they just told me the adorable story of you finding out Santa isn’t real at the ripe age of 10 You: Adorable! Jungkook: Why?? Don’t? You: They’re fun! your mother has a ton of baby pictures on her phone ;) You: The particular pictures of you and sister having a tea party, immaculate! Jungkook: Don’t you need to be studying some algebra? You: Don’t you need to be getting ready for qualifying?

“Don’t fight Jungkook, he’s faster” Phillip’s engineer tells him on the radio as the two of them go tyre to tyre on another turn. Jungkook started the race behind Phillip, and midway through the race the two of them were fighting to get ahead.

“Tell him to back off” “He’s on new tyre’s Phillip, he’s faster. We’re going with strategy 3” his engineer says and Phillip groans but doesn’t fight Jungkook anymore.

This is all Jungkook needed because within seconds the gap between them is increasing to great lengths, Phillip can’t deny Jungkook’s amazing skills that let him be so fast.

“That’s another victory for you mate! P1 in Monaco” “Yes, YESSSS, AGHHHHHHHHH!!” Jungkook had a lot of motives to push through tonight's race, he wanted his parents to see him win, he wanted you to see him win.

Jungkook spots you by your parents, he sends a victory wink your way as he bites his lip with excitement.

For the post-race press conference, the Ferrari drivers are paired together and Phillip isn’t very delighted about it. “Talking about the race today, the two of you seemed to be fighting around lap 30, and Phillip you were asked to not fight Jungkook, which ultimately cost you P1 today, how do you feel about strategy calls like these?” the reporter asks and Jungkook bites his cheek, knowing this isn’t an easy question to answer.

“It was a team call I wasn’t super delighted with but I wasn’t going to cost the team points because of my selfishness” Phillip answers truthfully and Jungkook continues staring around blankly, not willing to give any fodder to the reporters.

“Your team mate seems to be much faster in the same car as you, do you feel threatened about your position as the world champion?” another interviewer asks and Phillip smiles tightly. “I’m driving to win and so is Jeon”

Jungkook ends up at a yacht party instead of the club, he looks around for you as he gets himself a drink. “Check out the chick at 2 o’clock” Lando says and Jungkook turns around as nonchalantly as he can, he doesn’t check out the chick but he does spot you talking to some other man.

“Not really my type” Jungkook says chugging his drink in one go, his mood is definitely different now.

“What is your type?” Lando asks and Jungkook laughs sarcastically,

“If I knew, I wouldn’t be single” Jungkook takes hold of another drink and downing it again.

“Are you the kind to date to marry?” Lando asks and Jungkook takes a second to think.

“Not necessarily” Jungkook answers and watches you walk up to them.

“Then go talk to that chick-” “Hello boys!” you say cheerfully, greeting the two drivers.

“Jeon’s about to go talk to her” Lando says subtly, pointing at the gorgeous model.

“You are?” you ask, turning to look at Jungkook and he nods, downing his third drink. It’s hard not to look away as Jungkook charms the woman, of course he’d go up and talk to the gorgeous woman, why wouldn’t he.

“So, what about you? Should we find someone for you too?” Lando asks as you stare blankly at your drink, why’d you delude yourself into thinking Jungkook was remotely interested in you.

“Who’s he and why is he making bedroom eyes at you?” Lando asks, talking about the friend you were talking to earlier, just an old friend you ran into.

“The hell are bedroom eyes?” you ask with disgust and Lando chuckles at you bringing forth another shot of vodka for the two of you.

“I think the name’s self explanatory, come on go talk to him. Tonight, I’m the wingman for everyone” Lando says and you shake your head with disappointment, absolutely in no mood to talk to someone. ‘I think I’m gonna go home”

Jungkook: hey? did you get home safely? You weren’t expecting this text from Jungkook the next morning, putting down your cup of coffee, you contemplate what to say. You: Yeah, I saw the million pictures. You must’ve had fun Jungkook partying had taken up your explore page, around sometime that night he took over the mic and started singing, how could someone sound so good while being drunk off their mind? Jungkook: It was, would've been more fun if you were there This is why you were delusional about him, texts like these You: Why? The model wasn’t any fun Jungkook: She isn’t really my type You are enticed to ask him if you are, but you don’t. You: Go back to sleep, enjoy your day off

Race 7 Azerbaijan Grand Prix 2020

Lily has a semester break from college, so she decided you join you. The two of you spend all of friday and saturday exploring the beautiful city of Baku.

“Are you really going to work for your father?” Lily asks as the two of you sit down at a restaurant for dinner.

“Yes, right now I’m just learning and doing some of his assistant work and it might look boring but it’s better than doing nothing. Plus, I get to attend most race weekends” you explain reading the menu, your father was adamant on attending all the races, at least the European one’s and he had the fortunes to do that.

“So, taking this job has nothing to do with your massive crush on a certain driver” Lily asks and you’re starting to regret being a little too truthful with Lily.

“It’s just a teeny tiny one and it’s going to go away, this is all about supporting my brother” it was partly that, Phillip was all on his own during this early years as a driver, it’s nice to have family around.

“Why won’t you just ask him out?” Lily sounds frustrated about all this, to her all this looks very simple.

“Can we drop this and talk about your disaster of love life? Still sleeping with that professor” you ask with a teasing smile and Lily groans, hate being put on the spot.

“He’s barely a professor” “He’s 35” you retort and Lily is tempted to throw the water in your face.

The car starts feeling weird to Jungkook mid way through the race, between trying to get control of the car, he’s hit by someone and this causes him to lose all control on the brakes.

“Break fail! I have no control on the breaks” Jungkook’s panicked voice booms through the radio and everyone watches as he crashes into the side, taking two other cars out with him.

“Jungkook, are you okay?” his engineer asks and he groans, having hit his head pretty bad. The red flags are issued as an ambulance rushes to him, you shaking with nervousness as Jungkook is barely pulled out the car.

“We’re told from the medical officials that Jeon might be concussed, maybe even injured because of the sheer speed at which he hit the barriers. Let’s get a replay on the incident that caused this” the commentator says as you watch Phillip hit Jungkook on a turn, and him crashing the car at a dangerous speed.

You don’t notice the tears that well up in your eyes as you hear the ambulance sirens. Shutting your eyes, all you can see is the last few things you saw after your very ungraceful fall on the ice. Clutching your heart, you remember Phillip tightly clutching your hand as you were driven to the hospital, how every part of your body seared with pain. You open your eyes to stop reliving that day, but the massive tv’s in front of you focus on the ambulance that is driving a probably very injured Jungkook.

“Seriously, I want to be by myself right now” Jungkook’s getting a little irritated by all the people crowding his hotel room. He was a little woozy after the crash, but the doctor cleared him of any concussion, he just had a sprained wrist.

His team principal and trainer are the last to leave, checking on him for the millionth time. Jungkook sits up against the headrest as he checks some messages from other drivers checking up on him. You: Please text me when you’re fine Jungkook: I promise you I’m fine but can you still come and visit me :( You: Of course, which hospital are you at? Jungkook: I’m not at a hospital Jungkook: room no. 1011, I’ve left the door open for you

“Jungkook?” you ask knocking on his door and it swings open before he can answer, you’re not proud of it but you might have run up to his room.

The worried look on your face is still there as you gently pad over to him, Jungkook confusion grows as you wipe your tears.

“Hey, hey, ___, I’m not hurt at all. I fainted a little before but-” “You fainted?” you ask with a small voice as your big brown eyes look at him.

“It was because of dehydration” he says as he pulls you closer with one swift move, you sit opposite him, still shaking with fear.

“I know this is kind of a big ask, but can you stay here? Just for tonight?” Jungkook asks fiddling with your hand.

“You want me to?” you ask from beside him and he nods, your eyes are bloodshot red still, he doesn’t want you all by yourself right now.

All the lines are crossed that night as you cuddle closer to Jungkook. You know this isn’t going to end well, but right now you couldn’t care less. His hand is gently rubbing your back as your head lies on his chest.

Jungkook knows that you’re obviously working through something else, probably about your incident on the ice. The two of you never talk about it, Jungkook doesn’t know how to bring it up, or if he should ever bring it up. Jungkook knows that the situation is shitty, but he is happy about you being in his arms, he could get used to it

Race 8 Austrian Grand Prix 2020

“Why?” Jungkook asks as he’s walking to the Ferrari office. It’s a meeting and photoshoot heavy day for him.

“Because I have a job now, even if it’s sorting my father’s emails and arranging his meetings, I can’t be there every weekend” you explain calmly as you swivel around in your office chair.

“What’s your day like today?” he asks as a fan stops him for a picture, he’s becoming better at being popular as every race happens.

“We have a few apartment showings, so I’ll be shadowing him, start to figure out if I want to do this or not” you say sipping on your coffee, you’d been arriving early at the office to have some moments of peace before the chaos starts.

“What is your day like?” you ask him and he just grunts, knowing how bad it is to sit through meetings.

“I have a strategy meeting, another meeting with the communications team, lunch with a bunch of promoters and in the evening we’re shooting a bunch of videos for ferrari’s youtube channel” Jungkook reiterates his schedule for the day, and he’s already starting to feel tired.

“Press has just been awful since the last race, no wonder we’re having comms meeting two days in a row” Jungkook had been trying to stay away from the negative headlines but everyone was absolutely shitting on Phillip this week.

“They like pitting you and Phillip against each other, last week was all the ammunition they needed” you had been screening all the click baity articles, they were absolutely making Phillip lose his mind.

“Do you think he hit me on purpose or was I really in his blind spot?” Jungkook asks opening the door to the conference room, most people are already here. Phillip is already slouched against a chair, looking defeated already.

“No comments” “Boo Freaking Hoo” he says and you can’t help but smile like a stupid idiot.

“Call me later if you can” you say and Jungkook hums a goodbye as he takes a seat opposite Phillip.

“So, lots of bad press, people are divided” Claudia says, placing down multiple article print outs and newspapers on the table.

“And thank you Phillip for snapping at the sky sports reporter, just handing them their headlines” this hasn’t been Phillip’s week, and he’s done with cameras and reporters.

“We need to take hold of the narrative or at least change it because the sponsors aren’t happy with the two drivers seemingly fighting each other. How about you go golfing or something this tuesday” Claudia suggests and Phillip immediately nods his head no.

“He can’t golf to save his life and I have my sister’s birthday party that day-” “So, just invite Jungkook, because I really need the news narrative to change” Claudia says with an authoritative tone, the two of them can’t even think about going against her.

“I don’t want to intrude on a family thing-” Jungkook sounds a little offended by the whole situation, mostly he’s a little ticked off about you not telling him about your coming birthday.

“It’s not, it’s a surprise party with a few friends, I was going to invite you anyway” Phillip says and Claudia smiles widely.

“This is sorted then, I need at least a story with the birthday girl on the two of your Instagram’s” The two of them are left alone as Claudia leaves, there’s still this animosity in the air.

“Just so we’re clear, I didn’t hit your car on purpose,” Phillip says, looking Jungkook square in his eyes.

“I know that,” Jungkook replies, a little too confidently. “How can you be so sure?” Phillip asks as he sits up straight.

“You’re competitive, not petty” Jungkook leaves with a big smirk on his face, he’s been enjoying the season so far a little too much.

You: P3!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!! You: Still have that migraine? Jungkook: Why didn’t you tell me about your birthday being next week? You: How’d you come to find out about it? You: Did Phillip tell you? You: He is throwing me a surprise party isn’t he? Jungkook: Wow you derived to the bottom of it pretty quickly Jungkook: I mean no, I don’t know of a party if there is one Jungkook: Why didn’t you tell me? You: Because I’m not the kind of person who celebrates their birthday Jungkook: But there are other people who want to celebrate you turning twenty You: So, you just confirmed the surprise party Jungkook: If this get’s back to Phillip he might actually push me off the track intentionally this time You: Now I understand why Lily wanted to take me dress shopping You: Give me more details Jeon! Jungkook: I’m sorry I have no idea what you’re talking about

Race 9 Austrian Grand Prix 2020

It’s week two of the grand prix in Austria but Phillip is suspiciously in Monaco on Monday evening. “Why are you here?” you ask, dropping your handbag and a million other things you take to the office in the hallway.

“I know you know why I’m here because I know Maya sucks at keeping secrets, so just go up and get ready” he says flashing you a big smile. Phillip and you have always tried to celebrate birthdays, between him training and racing and you always practicing, there wasn’t always time to celebrate.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you actually did this” you squeal with excitement when you see the decked-up ice rink, you’ve always wanted to celebrate on a ice rink.

You’re awed by the classy decoration, one would almost forget that this is an ice rink, a few of your friends already skating around.

“I love you!” you squeal like an excited thirteen-year-old as you hug Phillip, he has a genuine smile on his face too.

“Please be careful tho, I don’t like the smell of hospitals” Phillip says as you watch Maya walk up to you, a little uncharacteristically you hug her tightly too, knowing she had a big part in planning this.

“Girl!!! you look smoking hot, so glad you went with the black one!” Lily comments taking a long look at your dress, it was a simple bodycon with a huge slit up your left thigh.

Jungkook arrives sometime around midnight, right as Phillip walks up with a massive cake and sparklers. Jungkook watches from the crowd as your face lights up with delight, he’s truly never seen you this happy. Your smile is contagious, infectious, he always wants you smiling like you were when you shoveled cake in Phillip’s face.

“Staring a little too much are we?” Lily comments from beside Jungkook and he snaps out of it, turning around and flashes the familiar face a polite smile.

“Am I being too obvious?” Jungkook doesn’t try to deny the accusation as he sheepishly ruffles his hair again, a nervous tick.

“The two of you are hopeless, go on, talk to her” truth be told, Lily was getting a little tired of your pinning on Jungkook.

Jungkook’s a little powered up by Lily’s comment, maybe there could be something between the two of you. He’s hopeful as he approaches you, maybe it’s the whiskey getting to him.

“Happy Birthday” Jungkook whispers in your ear from behind you, you’re a little startled till he comes around with a smug look.

“Thank you for not telling me about this party!” you shout a little, leaning closer to him. The lights have been cranked down and the music is much louder now.

“Aren’t you going to go on the ice?” he asks and you look up and shake your head no.

“I don’t know if I’m there yet, I’m just happy being in a rink right now” you answer and he takes hold of your hand, leading you away from the crowd.

“I should be back there, dancing and drinking” you whine as the two of you make way to a dimly lit supply office.

“You’ll be back there in no time, I just want to savor the moment of giving you your gift” he says, finally coming to a stop. You hop on the desk, outreaching your hands for the gift.

To your amusement, he places a tiny box in your palms, looking at you expectantly. You gasp as you pick up the delicate ring from the box, it’s a simple gold ring with an ice skate designed in the middle.

Jungkook had prepared a speech in his mind, he had his reasons for why he had this ring made. But at that moment as he watched you slip the ring on your index finger, his mind went blank.

The silence is suffocating the two of you as Jungkook’s hand reaches over to play with the ring, he got your size almost right. His warm hands around the cold band are starting to sober you.

Wordlessly, you pull him closer by the collar of his shirt, stopping right as Jungkook takes a deep breath, trying to brace himself.

“I was feeling so heartbroken about the figure skating chapter of my life ending, that’s all I’ve know of myself as, it has made me restless and anxious like never before, and this, is always going to remind me of that heartbreak” you say looking Jungkook straight in his eyes and his heart absolutely shatters, he can hear his heart breaking.

“I didn’t mean to-” you shush him by placing a single finger on his dry lips.

“But it also reminds me of some of the happiest moments of my life, it reminds me of my potential. If I could start skating at the age of four, I can start something new at the age of 20. It gives me hope, you give me hope” you whisper the last part your head rests on his chest. your arms circling around his waist.

Race 10 British Grand Prix 2020

The race in Silverstone has everyone on the paddock a little too excited, maybe it’s because of the upcoming two week summer break that everyone desperately needs. Jungkook is seated with Lando, Phillip and Daniel for another set of press conferences and he’s starting to understand why drivers hate press day so much.

“Question for Jungkook, the first half of the season is almost over and you’re up there on the drivers championship charts just behind Lewis Hamilton and just ahead of your teammate, how does it feel to be considered serious competition in your first year in F1?” a reporter asks, somehow complementing Jungkook and taking a dig at the other two drivers who haven’t had the best year so far.

“This is a very competitive sport by its nature and only 20 superbly skilled drivers get to drive a formula one car, and being able to be on this lineup is a dream come true for me. My first year so far has been filled with highs and lows and it’s surreal to me to be on the top of the list right now, but it all can change in a couple of races. Teams are constantly working on their skills and cars so we never know when the championship takes a turn, right now I’m at a place of cautiousness, a lot can happen over the span of 12 races” Jungkook answers calmly, and Phillip sits back, a little awed.

Phillip has been in the sport longer than Jungkook, but the way Jungkook handles and answers each ridiculous to serious question is motivating for him.

“This has been a very highly requested question, you drive under the number 14, what’s the significance behind it” you’ve been watching another set of interviews of Jungkook, apparently people just can’t have enough of him. Phillip is also very focused on the screen, wishing he was as charismatic as his team mate.

“It’s my mother’s birth date. She was vehemently against me going into racing, she was worried not just about my safety but she also didn’t want me working under this kind of pressure since a young age. Despite that, I made it here, and this was just a way to make her proud and spite her, just a little bit” Jungkook says confidently, making the female reporter chuckle and Phillip scoff.

“His PR manager really spun a great story for him” Phillip says snacking on some popcorn while you turn around to give him a weird look.

“You too drive under our mother’s birthdate” you state and Phillip rolls his eyes, something is definitely up with him.

“That’s because she died, it’s a dedication to her” Phillip says increasing the volume to listen to the interview properly.

“If you weren’t a f1 driver, what would you be doing today?” “I’d be a college student, probably getting a degree in computer science. During my year as a reserve driver, I did some soul searching to really think about a future outside of racing, and computer science is what I landed on” Jungkook says with a charming smile and you watch the interviewer literally swoon for him.

“Who in the hell does soul searching?” Phillip complains again and you turn around to get some answers from him.

“What is up with you today? I thought you liked Jungkook” you ask and he looks away with a guilty look.“I have this feeling that ferrari is pushing for him to win the world championship, they want the youngest driver to win the championship to be him” Phillip offers and you’re the one rolling your eyes this time.

“And why wouldn’t they, he’s smart, handsome, great with press, very skilled, drives fast, he’s the golden boy they’ve been looking for” Phillip has never felt this threatened by a team mate, but with Jungkook there’s something different.

“You’ve been reading too much of all that nonsense gossip, you’re a three time world champion, ferrari wants you to be a four time world champion too” you try and reassure Phillip but he just exhales.

Jungkook’s glad to be seeing his sister and Harper again during his week in the UK, he’s maybe been a little too homesick. Sora and her husband both work in London, and for once he can sleep at a place resembling something close to home rather than another hotel room, even if just for a night.

Sora and him stumble around the kitchen, making the most of their mother’s kimchi for their dinner. “So, who have you been texting all night? Want to talk about her?” Sora has a know it all smirk on her face as she watches Jungkook lock his phone and put it down on the table, screen down.

“Why would you assume that it’s a her?” Jungkook asks, filling the two of their shot glasses with soju.

“It can be a he, she, they for all I care, I know it’s someone you’re interested in romantically” Sora knows Jungkook well, a little too well for his liking.

“I’ve been conflicted about asking her out, I’m worried that she sees me just as a friend and by making a move, I’ll ruin a great friendship” Jungkook comes clean with it, it’d be nice to talk to someone about it.

“I got her this meaningful gift, and I thought she was going to kiss me, but she hugged me. Not that I’m complaining, but it confused me” Jungkook had been racking his brain ever since that night in Monaco, he never stopped thinking about it.

“And there’s this another layer of complexity, she’s related to someone I work with-” “Oh my god, you’re talking about ___” Sora explains loudly, almost waking Harper up.

“Why? How’d you even get to that?” “I saw the two of you during that race in Australia, you were all pissed and grumpy about retiring the car but you came and sat beside her and suddenly you weren’t so pissed off” Sora had made that observation pretty early on, and it makes Jungkook wonder if they haven’t been so lowkey about each other.

“___ likes you” Sora says it like it’s a fact of life, like the world wouldn’t make sense if it weren’t true.

“Make sure to not rub that know-it-all attitude on Harper and explain” Jungkook asks and Sora laughs boisterously.

“Remember when we had that dinner on a yacht, you had some mustard on your hand. A good friend would point it out, maybe even hand you a tissue. Someone who’s interested in you will just swipe the mustard off, like it’s the most natural and sensible thing to do, she wouldn’t cross that line if she wasn’t interested in you” Sora’s explanation leaves Jungkook utterly shocked, Australia was a long time ago, have you been interested in him all this time?

“Is it really that simple?” Jungkook asks, now directly drinking Soju from the bottle. “Love is simple Jungkook”

Summer Break 2020

Summer in Monaco is beautiful, everyone enjoys a host of activities in the mediterranean summer, not that Jungkook would know anything about it. All he’s done for the first week is exercise, train on his stimulator and rot in his apartment, and he’s savored every moment of not having an engagement or meeting.

“Am I travelling somewhere? Nope, I needed a break from airplanes and hotel rooms” Jungkook talks looking straight to his camera as he phenomenally loses a race in a video game. He’s streaming while playing on his stimulator, he used to do this a lot last year, now not so much.

You ring the bell to Jungkook’s apartment a few times but he doesn’t answer, you wonder if the passcode to his apartment is the same one he texted you a few months ago. In a moment of impatience and wanting to pee after a long flight, you type in the code and to your surprise the door opens.

Jungkook hears a door in his apartment close and sits up straight, very alert right now. Namjoon had been begging him to get some security cameras and right now he’s regretting not listening to him. The stream is still going as Jungkook jumps out the seat and gingerly walks out the room.

He picks up a random shoe as he knocks on the occupied bathroom door, what’s his plan with the shoe? He doesn’t know but at least he has something to protect himself with. The world feels like it’s in slow motion as the door swings open, Jungkook was expecting a robber but it’s you, with a very confused look.

“What is with the shoe?” “I thought someone broke into my place” Jungkook whispers, knowing the stream is still live.

“I’ll be back” he says and you follow him into his spare room, “Jungkook what is it-” he shuts you up real nice by placing his palm on your face.

“I have a twitch stream going, go wait in the living room” “Okay” you mumble against his hand and he can’t help but smile.

You feel rejuvenated after spending a week with your grandmother and Phillip, it’s hard to get some quality time with the family all over the place.

Your grandmother on your father’s side lived in the countryside outside London, still in the same house your father was raised in. You had some ulterior motives for flying to Monaco before your father and brother, you had some work to take care of at the office and second, you wanted to spend some time with Jungkook.

And if watching tv and eating too much food counts as quality time, you’ve been doing that all evening since you arrived this morning.

Your head is itching very close to Jungkook’s shoulder the more episodes of the office you watch. He feels your head flop on his chest somewhere before 9, he turns to find you deep in sleep.

If he was a good friend, he’d wake you up, maybe even offer to drive you back home. But he was someone with a lot of romantic yet confusing feelings for you, he gently picks you up.

Jungkook lays you on his bed, and tucks you in. He sits by the bed for a minute, taking in every detail of your face, Jungkook’s never noticed how beautiful your eyelashes are before this. He was tempted to lay in the bed beside you, but he does the right thing and struggles with falling asleep in the guest room.

“Oh come on, you’re flying out to France the day after tomorrow. It’ll be race after race, after this weekend! Please just say yes” you plead over the phone as you walk back from the office.

Jungkook wasn’t the clubbing type, neither were you. But seeing all your friends having the best time of their lives all summer was giving you fomo.

“It’s going to me Lily, Stuart, you and I. I got us access to this new club’s vip lounge and I need you to say yes” “Who’s Stuart?” Jungkook asks drying his hair with a towel.

“Lily’s situationship, can you pick me up from my place around 11, we can get a cab from here” Jungkook doesn’t like a lot about this plan, clubbing, going someplace after 11, paying for expensive bad drinks, but he whispers a yes anyway.

Jungkook rings the bell at your family’s townhouse right at 11 pm, you don’t need to know that he’s been waiting on the stoop for five minutes. Swinging the door open, you smile with delight as Jungkook brings forward his hand with the prettiest set of flowers.

“These are for me?” It's surprising because most people don’t show up with flowers before they go clubbing.

“Yeah, I didn’t want to come here empty handed” he makes the most unbelievable excuse, but you take the flowers anyway, you haven’t been given flowers, ever.

“I just need a minute to accessorise,” Jungkook isn’t listening the second he takes a good look at your very short, red dress.

“So, are you excited about getting back in the car?” you ask Jungkook as he takes a seat on the bed, through the vanity mirror you catch him staring.

“I’m thinking sneakers because heels are just impractical but it’s a fancy place so I want to be presentable” you say, bending a little with your back still facing him. Jungkook clears his throat nervously as you turn around, clearly having caught him checking you out.

“So, this is how I find out you’re an ass man?” his ears are blood red as you tease him.

Jungkook’s suspiciously quiet since you teased him, maybe you’re starting to feel bad about it. He makes some small talk with Stuart, but none with you.

“We’re going to get drinks, shots for everyone!” Lily and Stuart leave to get drinks the moment you get there, probably to make out in the bathroom.

“I am so sorry about earlier but please talk to me” you shout to Jungkook, sliding closer to him in the booth. The low lights and loud music are a reason enough for the two of you to be sitting so close.

“Sorry? I should be the one apologizing, it was inappropriate of me-” “I love how super sweet and nice you are, but I’d rather you check out my ass than anyone else's. Does that make sense?” you ask, sliding even closer, till your bare thigh is touching his.

This flusters Jungkook as he looks down sheepishly as he drapes an arm behind you. To your surprise, Stuart and Lily come back with not just shots, but also bottle service.

Around shot number 5 you pull Jungkook up, dancing with him off beat to a trendy pop song. Jungkook watches with loving eyes as Lily and you do a very bad job at dancing and singing to a song.

Jungkook doesn’t watch anymore as you stumble for the third time, he takes hold of you by your waist and the two of you stumble together, Jungkook’s pretty drunk himself.

“Your eyes sparkle, has someone ever told you that?” you had noticed this a long time ago, Jungkook has by far the most beautiful eyes ever.

“I want your eyes when you die” your seriousness makes Jungkook laugh like an idiot, him laughing like that makes you laugh like an idiot and it’s just a vicious cycle of laughter fuelled by vodka.

“I don’t want to go back to my empty home, can I stay with you?” you ask Jungkook as you lean his shoulder. There’s some music playing in the cab and your head is still spinning.

Jungkook has come to the realisation today that it’s hard to say no to you, mostly because of the soft smiles and pleading looks. You clutch onto his palm tightly as you struggle with walking on the cobblestone street.

“You’re sloshed” Jungkook states wrapping an arm around you, the heels were a mistake.

“You smell amazing” you whisper, starting to sober up as the elevator stops on his floor. Jungkook smiles sheepishly as he intertwines his hand with yours, doesn’t let go as the two of you walk into his dark apartment.

The events of the night as coming crashing back to you as you look Jungkook in the eyes, he has this confused look. Reaching over, you crease his stressed eyebrows and your hands drop to his neck, the two of you insanely close to each other.

The moment just feels right, with Jungkook’s arms circling you closer by the waist, you can’t help but lean into his lips, but right at the last second Jungkook turns his face around, your lips landing on his cheek.

“___, we’re wasted” he remarks breathing against your hair and you just nod.

“I have actual feelings for you, and I don’t want to sabotage my chance with you because we were drunk and made a mistake” it’s taking everything in Jungkook to not pin you against the wall and kiss your lips till he forgets how to breath.

“Can we go to bed?” you ask against his chest and he just nods, picking you up again.

Every limb in his body hurts as Jungkook shifts around in bed, he’s sweaty, uncomfortable and your head is nuzzled right in his chest. This isn’t like the time he woke up with you beside him after the accident, there isn’t any distance this time.

Jungkook squirms around and somehow turns the ac on, the cool wind makes you snuggle even closer to Jungkook’s hot body. He wants to detach himself from you and get some water, but since it’s been established that Jungkook is weak for you, he snuggles you back to sleep.

The next time he wakes up it because of pots banging in the kitchen, turning to his side he notices you’ve left the bed, again no one breaking into his place it’s just you.

The events of last night flash in his mind as he brushes his teeth, so many lines crossed, he’s worried that now you’re sober and awake, you regret them.

“So you didn’t have any groceries, all that was in your pantry was ramen and coffee so I made that. And I know you’re watching what you eat so there’s also a side of broccoli but I haven’t cooked broccoli before-“ Jungkook literally crashed you against the kitchen counter as his lips capture yours.

Jungkook kisses you with fervour and it takes you a second to process it, but soon enough your hands are tangled in his hair, biting his lip Jungkook has the most bashful smile as you pull away, absolutely needing to breath.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t wait any longer” he whispers against your lips as he kisses you again. Right there, as you are smiling against his lips, Jungkook understands what Sora said about love being simple. It’s simple because it’s meant to be, anything else just wouldn’t make sense.

Race 11 French Grand Prix 2020

As it turns out, the weekend of the race things get a little complicated, not between Jungkook and you. Some fan captured Jungkook and you on the way to his apartment and the pictures were all over the internet, the only bright side to the situation, you were the mystery girl, your face wasn’t captured in any of the blurry pictures.

“I’m sorry but I’m not releasing a personal statement, my personal life is none of people’s business and they shouldn’t have been photographing us in the first place” Jungkook says putting away the statement Claudia handed him.

“Okay but you keep it quiet if any reporters bring her up, and please for the love of god be careful.” Claudia leaves with that, she has more important things to take care of.

Namjoon sits back with disappointment, the fans and press are really having their time with this.

“Who was she?” his manager asks as Jungkook does some before race stretches, he’d usually play with a football outside but he’s in no mood for press or fans.

“Are you going to see her again?” Jungkook does answer this question with a simple nod.

“This isn’t like you, you aren’t the hooking up kind” “We didn’t hook up, hyung I really care about her and I don’t want our relationship to end even before it starts. Can you have the press go easy on this?” Jungkook pleads and Namjoon sighs standing up.

“I’ll try, maybe you’ll have to do a special interview with one. Give them something else to talk about”

Jungkook: it’s 10pm, where are you :((( You: Maya arranged a dinner to celebrate Phillip’s win, we’re on our way back to the hotel Jungkook: What about soothing my loss of coming second Jungkook: I had a thing planned You: I’ll be there in a few minutes, just stay put Jungkook: room 1202, I’m waiting

“So, we’re getting drinks with a few other drivers and their partners, wanna tag along?” Maya asks the four of you leave the restaurant. It was an amazing French delicacy restaurant but all you could focus on the entire time was being back at the hotel.

“I’ll just tag back with dad, we have a early flight and-“ “oh my god you are dating Jungkook aren’t you” Maya accuses you with a whisper as she pulls you aside.

“That’s just, um, how did you even, we aren’t dating Maya” you as a little frazzled by the accusation and Maya just gasps loudly.

“Because we bought that red dress together, you weren’t so sure, I thought you looked amazing, later we also had that conversation about me borrowing that dress and oh my god you’re dating him aren’t you” Maya accuses you and again you try and defend yourself.

“We aren’t, that night we just went clubbing, fell asleep at his apartment and kissed in the morning. But we absolutely aren’t dating” this isn’t you defending yourself, this is you spilling the beans the first chance you get.

“So, where do you guys stand now?” this question stuns you, you haven’t talked to him about the two of you since that morning. It’s too soon to ask that question.

“I don’t know but you can’t tell Phillip, he’ll go all big brother and I want to figure it out myself”

Jungkook’s suite is suspiciously quiet as you make your way in, things start to make sense as you catch Jungkook who’s fallen asleep while waiting for you. There’s also a table set with food, wine, candles and flowers right by him.

“Jungkook, come on let’s get you to bed” you say sitting by him as your fingers tap his cheek. He stirs awake right away, smiling when he realises it’s you.

“I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting, come on you’ll sprain your neck” you say as he sits up straight but Jungkook’s not listening to you. He just pulls you up with him and walks over to the set-up table.

“I thought we could have our first date tonight, even though you’ve eaten already and it’s too late for dinner” Jungkook whispers in your ear as he pulls a chair for you.

Jungkook lights up the candles and pour some wine before he takes the seat across you. “Now tell me, what’s your favourite color?” he asks as you laugh putting down your wine glass.

“Really, that’s the big opening question” “Yes, this is quintessential first date question, now tell me” he pleads with his glimmering eyes and you give in.

“Sage green, what about you?” you ask and he smiles looking down at his hands.

“Guess” “Blue?” you suggest and Jungkook really thinks about it, he’s never really thought about what his favourite color was, but the way you lit up when he nodded yes to your guess, it might as well be.

Race 12 Belgian Grand Prix

It’s a few days before the race, Tuesday to be precises and Jungkook has an invaluable off day with no schedule or work at all. He decided the best thing to do was explore the city of Brussels, with you.

Jungkook had the entire day planned, which started with a bright and early morning of exploring the city and it’s beautiful architecture. “So, is this our second date?” you ask Jungkook as the two of you put on sunglasses and hats before leaving the hotel, hopefully no pictures are taken this time.

“I guess” “Hopefully today tops the cold pasta and warm wine” you joke fixing his beanie.

“It was a spectacular first date! you laughed so hard you choked on that warm wine” he whines circling his arms around you.

“If you want a third or any more dates with me, promise me you’re never going to bring that up again” you whisper, leaning dangerously close to him.

“I’m making no such promises” Jungkook whispers before kissing you, every kiss with him is full of the same fervour as that morning.

“Come on, we have the city to explore” you say pushing his chest away and he groans, seizing the distance again.

“How about I explore every inch of your body instead” he says pulling on your earlobe just a little. The previous smile on your face is replaced by a tighter, forced one as you again push him back.

“As tempting as that offer is, we’d regret not making the most of the day” you say pulling him out the hotel room by his arm and Jungkook slides down his hand, intertwining it with yours.

The night was getting darker as the two of you walked back to the hotel, hand in hand. To put it simply, it had been one of the most perfect and romantic day and you were starting to dread having a difficult conversation with Jungkook.

“Hey, so, um, kinda wanted to come right out with it because it’s very embarrassing for me” you say and Jungkook stops in his tracks and quirks an eyebrow at you.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook’s voice is laced with concern and you have to look away.

“Nothing is wrong per say, but, um like, how do I say it without me sounding like a complete weirdo?” “It can’t be that bad” Jungkook pleads and you scoff, knowing it’s a little bad.

“I’ve never had a boyfriend, not that I’m assuming that we are a couple. Since I’ve never had a boyfriend, I’ve never been with someone, sexually. I just never had the chance before, and someone right never came along and now I’m this 20-year freak with no dating experience at all. I’d understand if you never want to see me again, I’d be fine with pretending we never-“

“___, breath” Jungkook says cradling your face and forcing you to see him in the eyes.

“You’re not some freak, you’re only 20 it’s natural to not be that experienced. We can take it at a pace you’re comfortable with, I promise I’ll be patient with you” Jungkook reassures you and you’re worries about this are starting to fade away.

“It’s just that I gave this speech to some other guy and he didn’t react so well” you say hugging him tightly.

“Well, give me that jerks name so I can punch him square in the face” Jungkook chuckles as he kisses the top of your head.

“If you’re going to go around punching people for me, I have a list” you laugh and Jungkook detaches himself, giving you a knowing look.

“What else are boyfriends for if not to punch people that have wronged their girlfriends”

You: Please be careful with the rain and all, I don’t want another incident Jungkook: I’ll try, if there is one just no crying this time You: I’ll try Jungkook: Also, when I win, if I say ‘yeah baby’ on the radio, know that I’m saying that to you You: ‘When’, little too cocky aren’t we Jeon Jungkook: You’re my girlfriend now, you have to support me, in cockiness and health

You’re a blushing mess as you re read Jungkook’s text, it’s a little unbelievable being called his girlfriend. Tonight, it’s just you, your books and the race on the tv.

“And there goes Jeon Jungkook, crossing the checkered flag a whole 5 seconds ahead of his teammate at P1, this win is puts him whole 12 points ahead of his teammate and at the top of the championship” the commentator cheers and the crowd goes wild.

“That’s P1 mate and at the top of the championship, you were stunningly fast this race!!” the team principal cheers on Jungkook through the radio as he doesn’t stop the random shouting out of joy.

“Thanks for the team, this car has been delivering race after race. So incredibly lucky to be driving a ferrari, seriously so fucking lucky. YEAH BABY!!!!!!” Jungkook cheers and you’re blushing so hard it’s embarrassing. Race 13 Netherlands Grand Prix 2020

“You’ve won seven races this season, eight if you win tomorrow, it must feel incredible to be this close to winning the championship” the reporter says and Jungkook chuckles looking away.

“Winning always feels incredible, things have been working out so positively for me that it feels surreal. Eight months ago I was thinking of giving up on my F1 dream and now I’m here and there are days when this doesn’t feel real” Jungkook says as Phillip comes around for his interview.

Things had been tense in the Ferrari garage to put it simply. There had been far too many strategy meetings out of which Phillip had stormed out of. He’d also made some comments regarding the team favouring Jungkook and devising strategy that helped Jungkook get closer to the championship, it had been a PR disaster.

“Now Phillip, Ferrari has clearly produced a winning car but you’ve had fierce competition from your team mate. Are you still hopeful about winning the championship?” another interviewer asks and Phillip tries very hard to not roll his eyes.

“Well Jeon is a fast driver and I could learn a few things about his break skills, but I have seven-year experience of driving on these tricky circuits so I’m hopeful” Phillip answers the way he’s been advised by his PR team, the interviewer can sense the fakeness in his tone.

“Ferrari has not historically been a team that gambles on young drivers but the bet they made on Jeon Jungkook is clearly working out. Now your contract is up to expire next year, do you feal threatened by the younger driver replacing you?” this time Phillip does roll his eyes.

“Ferrari isn’t in the game for gambling, they’re in the game for winning, and I win”

“Your brother called me pretty boy during a comms meeting, I was offended and delighted at the same time” Jungkook says placing his phone against the pillow, it was race day tomorrow he had to sleep early.

“Can we not talk about work, I don’t want you bitching about my brother. Phillip just got done bitching about you” you groan shuffling in bed yourself, you’d spent the entire Saturday studying and you were starting to get better.

“I don’t understand why he doesn’t like me? I’ve been nothing but nice to him” Jungkook groans and you sit up in bed and groan too.

“Phillip’s always been competitive, when we were little, he once made me cry after I won against him in chess. This isn’t your issue, it’s his” you say sighing with defeat, the better the season got for Jungkook, the worse it got for Phillip.

“How many men have made you cry ___? There are only so many punches I can throw” Jungkook tries and joke to make this situation a little less tense, he’s successful based on the way you’re smiling.

“I’m starting to miss you, luckily I’ll be there next week” “Starting to? You’re starting to miss me after two weeks?” Jungkook’s offended tone only makes you laugh harder and him more offended.

The race starts off fine, the race is almost a little boring till lap 30. “The two ferrari are once again one tenth of a second away from each other. The two drivers have been competing with each other all season and, OH turn 3 and Phillip tries and overtake Jeon but Jeon maintains his P1 position” the commentator says and you’re sitting on the edge of your seat as Phillip fails at overtaking again.

“Phillip box now, box now” “I’ll box after I’m done overtaking” Phillip yells over the radio and you wince, taking a big swig of your beer.

“Please the strategy is to maximize distance with competition and you need to box-“ “Shut up!” Phillip yells and manoeuvres an overtake and you gasp with shock as the two ferrari’s make contact.

“What is wrong with him?” Jungkook asks frustratingly over the radio as he somehow keeps the lead.

“Phillip please don’t damage the car, box now box now-“ “And the two ferrari’s make contact again, Jeon’s rear crashing with Phillip’s front wing, taking both the cars out” you look at the tv in shock, knowing this isn’t going to end well.

Jungkook’s searing red with anger as he walks into the garage, he takes quick strides towards Phillip who’s talking to an engineer and pushes him back by the shoulders.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jungkook shouts and the engineer stands between the two of them, not wanting any more of this happen on camera.

“Look I’m sorry, I should have listened to-“ “Damn right you should’ve! Your ego cost us so many points, FUCK!” Jungkook walks away as he notices the sheer amount of camera’s around them.

Race 14 Italian Grand Prix 2020

“I think I’m going to need the two of you to hold hands or kiss in public” Claudia says very seriously and Jungkook snickers, tired of this week already. It’s safe to say the press has been having their fun with the articles and headlines, to be fair the two of them handed them everything on a silver platter.

“This isn’t my problem, I wasn’t the one who attacked my car. I have been complaint with the decided strategy, even when it didn’t favour me, that’s because I know how to be a team player” Jungkook says standing up and putting his cap back on.

“He’s right, I just need to go through some difficult press questions and be done with this” Phillip says, stopping Jungkook in his tracks. It had been bad for Jungkook but it had been absolutely shitty for Phillip. Usually, Jungkook would be understand, maybe even sympathise but he’s angry still.

“I have a list of questions and answers prepared, the two of you will absolutely stick to it” Claudia says handing the two drivers a big stack of papers. Jungkook is ready to leave the garage when Phillip jogs up to him.

“Look, you were right, I let my ego get the best of me. Can we hash it out with dinner?” Phillip asks tapping Jungkook on his shoulder. “I have dinner plans with my girlfriend” Jungkook dismisses the proposal immediately and Phillip lets out a defeated sigh.

This has been the worst week of his life, and watching the office with you is a great escape. “Why are you so fidgety tonight?” Phillip asks as he plops on the sofa with a big bowl of popcorn. There was only one reason for you being this fidgety, Jungkook had planned a romantic dinner, he picked out a restaurant and everything but you had to cancel last minute. Leaving Phillip while he’s a whinny, complaining mess was just not an option.

“I had coffee after 6” you dismiss shovelling a bunch of popcorn in your face.

You: I’m so sorry … You: I promise to make up for this, no matter what it takes You: Jungkook please respond to my texts

Another episode starts and Phillip sits up, wanting to ask you something all this while.

“so, um, I know you had a few therapy sessions after your incident. How did you go about it?” Phillip asks and you finally realise why he wanted to hang out, he was anxious about therapy.

“I’m still in therapy” you say and Phillip looks at you like he doesn’t believe you.

“Therapy can be a difficult, excruciating process, first they usually start with ‘Why do you think you’re here’” you say and Phillip sits up straight, really thinking the question through.

“I have some serious self-esteem issues, it sometimes feels like people give me their time of the day only when I’m successful, and that terrifies me of losing” Phillip’s honestly stuns you, he isn’t the kind to be vocal about his emotions.

“How did your first session go?” Phillip asks, as he turns to look at you.

“So much crying, I remember falling crying to sleep, the first few sessions would leave me exhausted” your head falls back with exhaustion just thinking about it.

“I feel like a bad sibling for letting you crying to sleep, I wish I was there for you” Phillip says reaching for your arm and patting it.

“You were there for me Phillip, and time went by and the thoughts in my head started terrorising me less and less every day.” You are getting a little chocked up just thinking about it, you can’t help but play with the ring signifying your past.

“But you have to be patient, even when the process feels like it’s pushing you to your limits. When it starts feeling like too much, you come to me and we’ll watch the office together” you say and Phillip smiles thankfully.

Phillip leaves after a while, mumbling something about having to call Maya and you’re still stuck on the sofa. Jungkook hasn’t responded to any of your texts and you can already imagine the first fight. Playing with the key card to his hotel room, you’ve missed him so much and a fight is worth having if you get to see him.

His room is pitch dark as it always is as he falls asleep, and you stubbing your toe against the table is enough to wake him up. Jungkook groans as he sits up, resting his naked torso against the headboard. Dodging his eyes you slide into bed beside him, the stiff silence in the room making you anxious.

“Phillip has been in a terrible condition and I just couldn’t tell him I had plans when he wanted to talk to me” you say and Jungkook sighs, turning his head towards you.

“I understand ___” Jungkook says as his hand intertwines with yours.

“You do?” your voice is laced with extreme shock, not expecting this response at all.

“Yes, did I want to spend some quality time with you, also yes” Jungkook says and you turn to face him too.

“How about, tomorrow, we wake up bright and early and have a breakfast date before practice?” you ask and Jungkook answers with a soft kiss. The kiss just intensifies as Jungkook pulls you in his laps, his hands grasping your waist tightly.

Things are starting to get hot and heavy, you can feel his bulge against your centre and it’s driving you insane. Jungkook snaps out of it as your nails leaves some marks around his neck.

“___” he whispers your name as his forehead rests on yours, his hot breath fanning your flushed cheeks.

“We should go back to sleep if we want to be up early tomorrow” Jungkook can’t believe the sheer restraint he’s showing. The two of you snuggle as close as humanly possible and Jungkook sighs against your hair, tonight he’s fine with just getting to fall asleep with you in his arms.

Race 15 Singapore Grand Prix 2020

“How does it feel being back in Singapore? You left an impressive mark as a mercedes reserve driver just a year ago and now you’re second on the drivers’ championship, what a year it has been” the interviewer asks and Jungkook smiles widely, thinking back to his year.

“Singapore is always going to be special to me and after the win last weekend the team and I are trying to maximize out chances for the championship” Jungkook answers and another interviewer stands up to ask another question.

“Talking about team, how is the tension in the Ferrari garage after the incident in Netherlands?” Jungkook was expecting this question, and Phillip tenses up beside him the second he clears his throat to answer it.

“Well, tensions can be high in this sport when the difference between P1 and P2 are hundredth of second, but we’re working on keeping it civil, Phillip and I are in couples therapy of sorts” Jungkook adlibs the last part, but based on the approving smile Claudia gives, he did good.

“Hey, can we talk?” Phillip asks as they’re leaving the press conference. Jungkook just mutters a sure as they quietly walk to the Ferrari garage.

“I never really apologised to you” Phillip says sitting opposite the Jungkook, the hospitality area is empty after the practice.

“You don’t need to” “No, I do need to. You’ve been nothing but nice to me and I’m been an absolute piece of shit” Phillip says and Jungkook chuckles, trying to ease the situation.

“Since I fucked up my chances at the championship this year. I’m not going to block you, anymore” this is uncharacteristic for Phillip, Jungkook doesn’t know if he’s being serious or not.

“Phillip, I’ve admired you as a driver because of how competitive you are. And our competition is what makes racing fun, I don’t want you to stop fighting till the end” Jungkook says and Phillip chuckles, crossing his legs.

“Let’s just steer away from costing the team millions in damages, but there are seven races left, anything can happen” “You’re a polite motherfucker, game on Jeon”

Jungkook is back at the podium after a difficult race, he was sweaty, exhausted but it’s nothing compared to being drenched by champagne.

He spots you cheering and sends a wink your way, all he wishes was for a congratulatory kiss from you, a kiss that tells the entire world that you are with him.

But he waits till he’s back at your hotel room, pinning you against a wall, he hungrily kisses you, his hot hands wandering under your shirt.

“Take off your shirt” you whisper in his ear, tugging on the red ferrari polo. Jungkook toned abdomen distracts you for a second, and Jungkook takes advantage of it, unbuttoning your shirt.

“___ are you sure? We can wait” his question makes you contemplate for a full few seconds.

“How about we test the waters instead” “Third base?” Jungkook asks picking you up as your legs wrap around him instinctually.

Jungkook sits on the bed, you still on his lap as he takes a quick look at you, you seem to shiver with anticipation for what’s about to happen.

“Have I told you just how pretty you are” he says pushing some of your hair out of your face.

“You have, but right now I need you to lay back so I can suck your dick” you surprise him by pushing him back in bed.

“I’m going to fall in love with you if you keep talking like that” he moans lightly at the last part as you cup his bulge. “That’s the plan baby”

Jungkook is not so gently tugging on your nipple as another finger enters you, making you moan even louder. Your hips are shaking with an orgasm as Jungkook reaches for you lips, kissing them gently. Exhausted after the activities of this night, he plops on the bed beside you, the two of you still breathing very heavily.

There’s comfortable silence as Jungkook stands up and returns with a clean towel, wiping you off and getting you some water.

“___, baby, please say something, I’m kinda starting to freak out. You have this stoic look and I don’t know if you regret what just happened-“ “I don’t, I just can’t think straight still” you say standing up and slipping on one of his t-shirt.

“So, you don’t regret it?” he asks sitting back on the bed.

“Of course, I don’t, I’ve just, um, this is new to me and I don’t know how to react and I’m so exhausted and can I just say, the thing you did with your tongue, WOW” you say sitting on his lap and circling your arms around him.

“I could say the same ___, about the tongue thing” Jungkook confesses as his neck flushes, just thinking about the earlier events.

“Kook, I’m glad you were my first about tonight, and will be many more of my firsts for more things. If you were any other guy, you’d be impatient, needy, definitely wouldn’t have waited three months to go third base. So, thank you for being patient, kind, caring and so fucking handsome it’s unreal” you say and Jungkook breaks another one of his shy smiles, they’re pretty rare so you savour them.

Race 16 Japanese Grand Prix 2020

There’s a camera on the study table as you step out the washroom, still drying your hair.

“What’s with the camera?” you ask Jungkook who’s sorting the two of your luggage in the closet. There was a week off and while most drivers chose to fly home, Jungkook had convinced you into a four-day trip in South Korea.

“I want to document our first trip, now come on we have to be places” the camera focuses on you for the most time as the two of you explore Seoul, you might have to fly back just for the food.

The inevitable happens during day 2 in Seoul, Jungkook’s spotted and asked for some pictures. Now you understand why Jungkook insisted on you wearing a mask and cap, because you just take a few steps away from him, letting people take as many pictures as they can.

“I’m so sorry guys but I’m out with my girlfriend” Jungkook says to the enthusiastic group of people. He jogs up to you, intertwines his hand with yours and kind of pulls you along.

“Why’d you do that?” you ask as you sit in the rented car beside him. “Do what?” Jungkook asks sheepishly, knowing exactly what you’re asking him.

“Announce to the world that you have a girlfriend” “I think you just answered my question” you check twitter a few hours later, and of course the biggest mystery is who is the ferrari golden boy dating.

“Did it hurt?” you ask as your fingers gently hover around the first tattoo Jungkook just got.

“Hurt when I fell from heaven?” he jokes and you scoff getting out of your boots.

“The tattoo you dumbass,” “I like dumbass more than baby, but I did almost like a constant ant bite, not too severe but present” Jungkook says as you fall back on the bed, a little too tired from todays walking around.

“I’ve always wanted one but I can never commit” you say tracing lines on your arm, thinking of exactly what tattoo you want.

“I made a pact with myself, every time I go through something difficult, once the difficult part is over, I’d get a tattoo. To remind myself of the pain but also to have something that symbolised me getting through it” he says plopping on the bed beside you, and you turn pushing some of his hair away.

“What difficult part compelled this one?” “June last year, my racing future was looking pretty bleak. I couldn’t afford another year of being a reserve driver after 13 years of time and money invested to get me to Formula 1. I was terrified and anxious, wondering what the next year was going to look like, and by luck I was given one saving chance. And a year later, I’m in love, driving for ferrari and in the lead for the championship” Jungkook’s voice and eyes both hold you in place, with a magnetic hold.

“You love me?” you whisper and Jungkook snaps out of it, realising what he just blurted out.

“I have for some time now, I was waiting for the right time and I guess today is it. ___ I know we’re taking it slow and there’s no kind of pressure-“ he stops talking when a big bright smile appears on your face, the same one he saw the morning he kissed you.

“I love you Jungkook” you say throwing your arms around him and pulling him closer for a kiss and a million others.

Apparently, the complete paddock saw the thousands of tweets speculating the identity of Jungkook’s girlfriend. A usually boring driver’s parade in Japan is turned into a speculative morning with a million questions for him.

“How long has it been going on?” Lando asks and Phillip nods enthusiastically, wanting a scoop of gossip too.

“Five months” Jungkook answers nonchalantly and Lando is hooting immediately.

“Five months? How come she hasn’t been at the paddock yet” Phillip asks and Jungkook is a little stunned, having to decide between how much he has to lie.

“We’re just kinda taking it slow, and with press and fans involved it can get intense” Jungkook answers honestly, omission isn’t lying.

“That is pretty smart, one day you’re in a chill romantic relationship, next day all of the internet is too involved in everything you do” Phillip speaks from experience.

“How’d you meet each other?” Lando shoots another question and Jungkook smiles tightly, knowing he can’t get away from them.

“Common friends” Jungkook is kinda right about this, at least that’s what he tells himself.

“Jesus, you can’t even just think of her without smiling, can you?” Phillip say smacking his shoulder ever so slightly.

“I’m in love” Jungkook confesses like a love sick idiot, glad to be talking about you with someone other than Sora.

Race 17 United States Grand Prix 2020

“I have exams next week, I’m sorry if I can’t drop everything and be in Vegas with you” you say on the phone and Jungkook groans getting out the car.

“But I thought we could blow stupid amount of money on crap we don’t need, and when we do get sloshed, I would have kissed you this time” he says locking the car as he follows one of the manager that leads him up to his room.

“As tempting as a sloppy make out sounds, you know how bad I’m at history. And if you want a well educated girlfriend with a respected job in the future, you’ll stop whining, get changed into something classy and go out and have some fun” Jungkook can imagine you sitting sternly as you say that.

“Okay, fine, I’ll go out with Lando and we’ll gamble a stupid amount of money, will that make you happy” Jungkook says as the manager hands him the hotel room key with a big smile.

“Oh so happy, but remember to buy me something expensive with all the money you win”

“How can you be so sure that I’m going to be winning tonight?” he asks as he opens the hotel room, dropping his bag in the hallway.

“Honey, you’re going to be winning tonight” Jungkook doesn’t just hear your voice from the phone, he also hears it from the room in the suite.

“I thought you had to study” Jungkook whispers, not believing you are sitting in his bed.

“And I thought we could play strip notecard game, every answer I get wrong you remove an article of clothing” you say pointing to the huge stack of notecards you’ve been studying through.

“That isn’t right, you’ll just be answering wrong on purpose” he says sitting on the and pulling you closer by your chin.

“There’s a twist, for every five answers I get wrong, you add back another layer of clothing” you say pecking his lips, ever so gently.

You are starting to regret the romantic, sexy, fun game because you forgot to factor in your boyfriends stupid level of competitiveness. “Come on baby, you’re one wrong answer away from me putting back my jeans” he teases as you continue to huff about the difficult question, getting more and more worried about the coming test.

“Oh! I am so infuriated by you right now, it’s past mid night, we should have already had sex by now” you complain as you scoot closer to him and swat the notecards away from him.

“I’m not losing this game ___” he says as you sliding even closer, eventually landing back in his lap.

“You hate losing, don’t you?” you ask grinding against his growing hard dick.

“I do, but I also-“ Jungkook stops talking the second you slide off your sweater that’s been hiding your naked tits.

“I think I’m going to be winning this one” you whisper against his ear, leaving a soft kiss on his cheek and pulling back.

“Baby, I don’t think I’m going to be hypnotised by your tits, this terrible game just proved how much you need to be studying, and jesus christ” he whispers the last part as cup one of your breasts, and Jungkook knows he’s lost this game.

“I might be losing this one but first, I’m going to fuck you till you see the stars for teasing me all night. And second, we’re going to sit down and study because I can’t have you failing on my watch” Jungkook says flipping you around and pinning you down.

“Failing, like you’re failing right now” you say and he groans as his lips hover over yours.

“I love how cocky you are” “More than you love me?” you ask daringly as his lips touch yours.

“Nothing is bigger than my love for you ___” that’s the last thing Jungkook says before he accomplishes the task of turning you into a moaning and shaking mess.

“I wanted us to go to a male strip show but Phillip is being a little bitch about it” Maya says as the two of you walk to the ferrari hospitality for the race.

“How about we tell him that we’re going shopping and sneak out and catch a sexy little show” you suggest and Maya scoffs.

“Phillip knows me too well, he’s going to know I’m lying” “Well, it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission” you say as the two of you sit down on a sofa.

“Is that your strategy with dating Jungkook and not telling Phillip about it” she gives you a pointed look as she says that, Maya has tried her best to not pester you about it, but she’s getting concerned.

“It is the 21st century, I don’t need anyone permission to date anyone-“ “As much as I love a good feminist rant, you and I both know it’s not about permission but rather keeping things from your brother. Important things like dating his team mate, who he’s had a sort of turbulent relationship, and they’re finally getting along” Maya says as the two of you look at the two drivers discussing something pre-race.

“I know, that’s why Jungkook and I have decided to tell him after the final race. Once the season is over and everyone is a little relaxed, then maybe we four could even do a trip to the Bahamas” Jungkook and you had talked about this, extensively.

“Jungkook wanted to come clean earlier, but we’re just in this romantic cocoon and everything feels so right and we don’t want to change anything, for as long as we can” you say and Maya smiles supportively, she can absolutely understand the romantic bliss you’re in right now.

“He’s the one isn’t he” Maya asks and you’re too distracted to answer her, Jungkook and you hold each other’s eyes through the distance and it’s hard to look away.

Race 18 Mexican Grand Prix 2020

It was exam week, and you were starting to give up on the idea of college. The night before the test, you remembered exactly why you dropped out in the first place, but you don’t have to time to freak out, you need to be studying.

“___?” your father ass knocking on your door. He comes in and places a warm cup of hot coco on your desk.

“It’s just an exam” he says running a hand through the hair you might have been pulling on too much.

“But what if I fail at this too” you say, biting your lip as an attempt to not cry. Your father sighs, sitting across you on your bed.

“You didn’t fail at figure skating, you cracked half your body giving your best and you’re still sitting here, that’s not failure honey. You’ve given your best before a million times before during each competition, I’m sure you can do it again” these words of reassurance are all you needed, your father isn’t the biggest touchy feely person, but tonight he is.

“And you are too fiercely independent to be someone’s trophy wife, so I have the utmost faith in you” he says as he again ruffles your hair, trying to soothe you a little.

“That is the best compliment I’ve received, ever” you are feeling a little better after talking to him and the warm cup of coco, you’re not as anxious as you drift off to sleep.

Jungkook knows he should be mediating right now, it’s his pre-race ritual that he sticks to religiously. But today he’s all sorts of distracted, waiting for a text or call from you. Today was the last exam and during the week, there’s been a few texts from you, he understands that you’re busy. But he still got his hopes up about a sweet good luck text.

Usually there’s quietness from Phillip’s side of the driver room, but today he seems to be talking to someone. The voices aren’t clear but Jungkook hears a ‘I told you it was going to be fine’, he assumed Phillip is on call with you and sticks his ear to the shared wall, not one of Jungkook’s proudest moment.

“I can’t believe the questions were so easy, I was kinda prepared for the worse” Jungkook’s suspicious are proven right when he hears your voice through the wall, making him feel a little less stupid about this.

Jungkook shakes with surprise when his phone vibrates against his thigh, You: I know you’re deep in your meditation right now, so I’m not going to disturb you. You: Good luck on the race! Please be safe ❤️ You: I love you ❤️ You: And I crushed my tests, like you told me I was going to You: I’ll see you in Brazil ❤️

Jungkook doesn’t reply right away, too distracted blushing over the fact that you were indeed thinking of him.

“My father has always been a major racing fan, and he’d take my sister and I karting all the time, somewhere along the way I started doing it competitively and here I am” Jungkook answers the podcasters question of how he got into racing.

“What about you sister?” “She found her computer more interesting, she works in big data now” Jungkook answers jokingly. They go back and forth about this season, team, other teams, strategy and other technical stuff.

“You’ve had one of the most phenomenal F1 debut in the history, and the build up has been keeping everyone on their heels. What does it mean to win the championship this year?”

“Everything, it literally has been building up for 13 years. This was an incomprehensible dream to me just a year ago, there are some days when I wake up wondering if this has all been a very vivid dream” Jungkook says and the host nods knowingly.

“How is your relationship with Ferrari looking like, they signed you for two years last year, do you think this relationship is going to extend” they ask and Jungkook chuckles, sitting up straight.

“I think I’ve done everything in my ability to prove to ferrari that I’m a driver worth having on their team, and right now the future looks positive” Jungkook says, alluding to a possible contract extension.

“We’ve covered your racing career extensively, how about a few questions about your personal life” the host asks and Jungkook smirks, knowing this was coming all this time.

“You were spotted with your girlfriend in Seoul and not since, is the relationship over” “It’s the opposite, we are in a very relationship, we just want to stay away from the cameras and media for as long as possible. The attention on me has been immense since I started with Ferrari, while I absolutely am grateful for the fans love and attention, I also have this wish to protect her for all kinds of attention that comes along with dating me” Jungkook answers and the host sits up with another question.

“You haven’t invited her to the paddock yet, will she be here cheering for you winning in Abu Dhabi?” “We haven’t discussed it yet, but wherever she is, she’ll be cheering for me” Jungkook answers pragmatically, giving away as least information as he can.

Race 19 Brazilian Grand Prix 2020

“Put the white t-shirt down Kook” you threaten him jokingly as he down put down the t-shirt. After persuading Jungkook for a mere few seconds, he’d agreed for you to help him shop. He’s been wearing ferrari merch like uniform and desperately needs help, as you put it gently.

“We can get a white t-shirt, but not the plain kind, something with waffling that looks classy by itself but also great under a blazer or jacket” you say picking up another thing for Jungkook to try on.

“What kinda clothes do you want?” you ask and he hums with wonderment.

“I like your style, shirts, knit sweaters, also that half zipper jumper you love, I need multiple of those” he says feeling a sweater and you stand there, delighted.

“Also, a few straight fit jeans, I’m bored of the skinny ones, and a chunky pair of sneakers, also a good bomber jacket” the list of stuff Jungkook wants just rolls off his tongue, and you snicker, thinking back to his earlier statement of ‘I don’t need new stuff’

“What about you? New handbag? Boots?” “I was thinking a skirt, now that the surgery scars on my thigh are fading, I want to try skirts again” you mention and Jungkook eye’s light up immediately, pulling you to the women’s section.

“Baby I want you to dress however you feel comfortable, but I’d also like to make a formal request to add skirts back in your rotation” Jungkook pleads as you spin around to give him a good look of the leather skirt.

The two of you sigh with exhaustion as you sit down on the park bench, Jungkook’s arm immediately comes around your shoulder, your face nestling on his chest.

After a long morning of shopping, you surprised him with a fancy dinner at a restaurant, a rare event for two of you together. You feel contentment as you feel his warmth, contentment is something you haven’t felt in a while.

Turning to look up at him, you smile lifting your face to look him in the eyes. “Why don’t you ever ask me about my accident?” you have been wondering about this for a while now.

He bites his lip as he thinks his answer through, “I’ve wanted to, but I also don’t want you to think of the accident again” he answers truthfully, and to his surprise you smile encouragingly.

“Ask me, I really want you to know” “How did it happen?” a simple question has you back on the ice.

You tell him about the night before an important competition, you had a complicated routine and wanted to practice a few times before the morning came. The ice rink was especially quiet as you slid across, calming yourself with a few deep breaths you begin the routine effortlessly. Everything feels natural till it comes to the triple axel, you knew you were doing it wrong the second your feet were off the ground, falling flat on your face.

You felt some blood on your lips, your nose was possibly bleeding but you attempted the jump again and failing, concussing yourself. By the third attempt you were crying because of frustration and fear for tomorrow, but you end back on your feet, having handed a perfect triple axel.

“So, you landed the move?” Jungkook asks with confusion, this is not what he was expecting.

“I did, and I was confident as I left the rink, but I was also very concussed. Nothing felt off till I walked to the stairs to get out the centre, I was holding on to something as I was lightheaded, one miss step and I was barrelling down the stairs, that’s what injured me” you say as you remember shutting your eyes with pain as you lay on the cold concrete, multiple parts of your body feeling broken.

“A maintenance worker found me bleeding and next thing I remembered was Phillip sobbing as he called out my name” you say and other tear escapes your eyes, his warm hand, wipes it away again.

“I was so happy being able to do a graceful triple axel and down went my dreams” you whisper snuggling even closer to him.

“I had a broken back, shattered hip and bleeding from my head but I’m still here, it could’ve been worse. I could have died if I bled out on that concrete floor for another hour” you shudder thinking about the what could haves of that night.

Jungkook doesn’t know if his words could ever comfort you, so he kisses your forehead as he wipes away another string of tears.

Race 20 Qatar Grand Prix 2020

“___, I have to leave for qualifying soon, I can’t be late” Jungkook complains as you look for something in your luggage. You’d just landed in Qatar and came straight to his hotel room.

“I know for a fact that you have another half hour to spare, so sit your ass down” your sternness does make him sit on the bed, usually he likes to get to the garage a little earlier than expected, but not today.

He looks at you with confusion as you place a small velvet box in his hands. Opening it, he discovers a dainty silver chain, and his confusion just grows.

“I was 15 and it was my first time competing at the Olympic level. Apparently, in figure skating wearing a necklace is considered a good luck charm, but I didn’t have one before the competition. So, my mother removed this chain and put it around my neck, I made a ring out of the pendent, and the chain is a very late birthday present for you” you explain with a soft smile.

“It indeed turned out to be a good luck charm for me, and now it’s yours” you continue and the endeared smile on his face only grows.

“This is too personal, don’t you want to keep something your late mother gave you?” he asks closing the box and his hands reach for yours.

“I want you to have my good luck charm, especially when I’ll too busy to attend your races because I’ll be busy at university next few years” you had already started with university interviews and were hopeful.

“Years? You think we’re in it for the long haul?” Jungkook asks and you mumble a simple yes and a hopeful smile.

“I think so too” Jungkook whispers as he kisses your lips, today he could care less about being late.

Race 21 Saudi Arabian Grand Prix 2020

Jungkook was cornered into a meeting with Namjoon and Claudia after the race. He didn’t know what to expect as he walked into that office but the stoic look on their faces didn’t sit right with him.

“Congratulations on the win” Claudia says as he takes the seat opposite him.

“Thanks” Jungkook says picking up the envelope Claudia put in front of him. He gingerly opens the envelope, and to his surprise, it contains a few blurry pictures of you and him at a restaurant, possibly from Brazil.

“Is that ___ Lee and you?” Claudia asks and Jungkook nods, putting the pictures down.

“Are you dating ___?” she asks and he mumbles a yes, not understanding the point of all this.

“Break up” she says strictly and Jungkook looks at her with bafflement, expecting for her to explain.

“I just got done dealing with all sorts of articles pitting Phillip and you against each other, a sponsor almost pulled out after all that bad press we got after you almost fighting Phillip in front of camera’s. We’re exhausted with the gossip, so break up with ___” she explains standing up, ready to leave.

“Ferrari is willing to discuss the terms of your contract extension once this is done” those are the last things Claudia says before she leaves.

Jungkook and Namjoon have been sitting in silence for long enough for it to start feeling awkward.

“So, ferrari is threatening me to break up with ___?” Jungkook asks, still not done processing the earlier conversation.

“They wouldn’t have cared if you were dating anyone other than your team mates sister, why didn’t you tell me?” Namjoon asks, massaging his forehead.

“Why didn’t I tell you what? That I’m dating ___ or that I’m dating my team mates sister” Jungkook asks raising his voice a little.

“You know it’s the latter, if not you’d have told me. You knew this could’ve been an issue, that why you hid it from me Jungkook” Namjoon reasons, staying as calm as ever.

“I’m sorry but I’m not doing that” Jungkook protest, standing up.

“Let me give you a scenario, you don’t comply, ferrari doesn’t extend their contract with you so all of next year you’re treated as their number 2 driver who doesn’t win the championship, out of a contract, your relationship with ferrari absolutely ruined. A top team will be sceptical signing you, given how ferrari didn’t have confidence in you because of a two-year contract. You end up at a mid-field team, the car’s okay, but not world championship winning, you spend another two, maybe three years with them, again out of a contract. What is your next step? To be out of a seat again by 25 because you stood up to Ferrari?” Namjoon’s voice is a decibel louder than it usually is.

“You’re willing to throw it all away for love? For someone you’ve loved for less than a year? You’ve loved racing for 13 fucking years Jeon Jungkook!” Namjoon says standing up too, wanting Jungkook to understand this, loud and clear.

“Jungkook you’re young, ask her to wait a few years” Namjoon asks softly, noticing how red and watery Jungkook’s eyes are.

“If it’s meant to be, you’ll find your way back to each other” Namjoon tries and comfort him with a soft pat on his arm.

Jungkook feels sick as he walks into his hotel room, you seem to have fallen asleep, the food you ordered for the two of you long cold. Just the image of you sleeping calmly in his bed is freaking him out, rushing to the restroom, he splashes his face, not knowing what to do next.

“Kook?” you call out for his name, him coming into the room having woke you up.

“Go back to sleep, I need a quick shower” Jungkook shouts from the restroom, not wanting to look you in the eyes right now.

Jungkook picks up your book and takes off your glasses as he gets back to bed, his hands softly caressing your face but he snaps himself out of it.

He’s wide awake as he slides in the bed, he keeps a respectful distance but you cease it all by cuddling into his chest.

“Did something come up?” you ask as your face presses into his naked chest.

“Kinda, did you have dinner?” Jungkook asks and you nod a yes.

“Did you?” you ask looking up as your eyes barely open.

“I feel like I’m going to throw up” Jungkook says and you force your eyes open, to get a good look at him.

“Do you want some water, medicine?” “I just need to sleep it off” Jungkook whispers as he nuzzles even closer. He can deal with his issues tomorrow, tonight he just wants to fall asleep with you in his arms.

Race 22 Abu Dhabi 2020

Jungkook: I got you a separate hotel room, I really need some time by myself and I don’t want us to fight about this Jungkook: Just get the key card from reception You: Why are you pushing me away? Jungkook: I’m not pushing you away, tomorrow is one of the most important race of my life. I don’t think I’m asking too much by wanting some time by myself You: You aren’t asking for too much, it’s just so unlike you and it worries me Jungkook: Well don’t, I’ll see you in the morning You: Call me if you can’t sleep Jungkook: Thanks

Jungkook feels sick to his stomach as he rereads the text exchange between the two of you. He hasn’t been able to breath properly since the comms meeting last weekend, it might have affected his qualifying today as he starts tomorrows race at P7, not at a winning position.

Jungkook knows what he has to do, he just can’t bring himself to do something he though he’d never have to do.

Like promised you do see him in the morning, more like late afternoon once he’d done training. One good look at him and you can see he’s not been sleeping well.

“Jungkook, you’re starting to scare me, what’s wrong?” you ask taking a seat on the bed beside him.

“Last week, Ferrari agreed to extend my contract” he prefaces with good news before he unleashes the ugly truth.

“Isn’t that good news” you ask as your hand comes up to caress his cheek, to your surprise he flinches because of your touch.

“They had some stipulation, well one to be exact” he whispers looking at his hands shamefully as you retract your hand. Jungkook’s trying his best to form the next sentence in his mind, wanting it to come across as gently as it can.

“Kook, whatever it is, it must be worth agreeing to. Driving for Ferrari has been your dream, just say yes” your soft voice triggers another set of tears in his eyes.

“Is it worth agreeing to if I lose you in the process?” he asks looking you in the eyes and watches as you bite your lip with confusion, wanting him to explain.

“They want me to break up with you, they don’t want me dating my teammate’s sister because they don’t want any more gossip or bad press and I wanted to scoff in their faces, I really did. But I-“ he’s at a loss of words when he notices the tears in your eyes too.

“___ I don’t want to do this, but I don’t want to throw my career away for love and later regret that” Jungkook pleads as you stand up to get away from him.

“Okay” you whisper, “Okay? You’re okay with this-“ “How the fuck can I be okay with this but it seems like you and I don’t have a say in this matter, DO WE?” you yell as your eyes turn red with anger.

“___, please-“ “Do I want you to fight them and keep dating me, yes. But between the two of us, I’m the only one who’s had to give up on a dream without having any say in it, and it’s painful and frustrates the life out of me, so please for the love you have for me, let me go” you can’t help but be rational about this, seeing him like this is making your heart hurt.

His eyes are fixed at you as he watches you, he wants you to fight for this relationship. “The idea of letting you go hurts too much ___” he says as he stands up too, taking small steps till he’s face to face with you.

No words could encompass every emotion you’re feeling, reaching onto him one last time, you bring his face closer to yours, his forehead touching yours.

“I love you” you whisper one last time and Jungkook ceases all the distance, his lips kissing you with desperation. You can taste the salty tears on his lips as you peck him one last time before pulling away.

The kisses turn into a tight hug and as each second passes, Jungkook knows he has a second less with you. He kisses the top of your head as your tears stain his polo. The moment is interpreted by loud knocks, followed by Namjoon’s voice.

“Jungkook, we’re ready to leave for the race” his manager announces and Jungkook sighs, pulling you even closer.

“Promise me something” you ask as you begrudgingly pull away. “Win the championship tonight” you ask and he sighs with defeat, he’s not in a headspace to driver, or even win.

“And remember, that’ll I’ll aways be cheering for you” you say as you leave a soft kiss on his cheek before you walk out that hotel room.

“Jungkook last two laps, you’ve .1 second away from Hamilton” the engineer announces over radio and Jungkook zooms through, fighting to overtake.

“And Jeon manoeuvres another overtake at turn 3, AND HE OVERTAKES THE MERCEDES” the crowd cheers as Jungkook zoom’s through entering the last lap. Usually when he’s inside the car, his mind is blank, only focus being driving. But tonight, as he zooms through, a montage of the last six months of his life is on replay once again.

“Jeon Jungkook you are the 2020 World Champion!!!” his engineer is practically yelling on radio as the montage starts to disappear in his mind.

His face is stained with tears as he gets rid of the balaclava, for a minute he’s overcome with joy as he team hugs with shouts and cheers. But it all starts to come crashing to him as he’s standing on the podium, looking around and not seeing your face in the crowd.

As he returns to the empty hotel room, Jungkook feels like the biggest loser. He reaches for the velvet diary you gifted him early this season. His finger traces the little note you left on the first page. Whether you win or lose, it’s going to be okay!

Phillip’s 30th Birthday (2022)

The Monaco breeze sends a chill down your spine as you take Christian’s hand as he guides you up the yacht. You watch as the water glimmers under the late evening sun, Christian’s hand still on the small of your back as you make small talk with some acquaintance.

“So, congratulations on the pregnancy” you whisper to Maya as she’s chokes on the tiramisu.

“How’d you kno- I’m not showing yet, am I? I haven’t told Phillip yet and it’s a big surprise for him, and shut up!” Maya is clearly a little panicked about the complete ordeal.

“Again, how did you know?” Maya asks as you pass her a wicked smile, sipping on your champagne.

“You weren’t drinking and I took a shot in the dark, oh my god you’re really pregnant” you’re starting to freak out just thinking about it, and your freaking out does not help Maya. The freaking out doesn’t last for too long as you see a familiar face walk across from you.

“So, I didn’t tell you Jungkook was invited because I didn’t want you to cancel” Maya says and you turn to give her a look of disappointment.

“You never told me why you guys broke up?” Maya asks as you watch as Jungkook looks over at your side and you dodge his eyes.

“We were just fighting a lot, and we knew I was going to be busy with university and wouldn’t be able to see him as often. Breaking up seemed like the natural thing” you lie through your teeth as you down another glass of champagne.

Before Maya can shoot another question towards you, you notice Christian go up to Jungkook and talk to him.

“Christian, I think I should introduce you to some of my cousins” you say desperately, trying to stop your ex and your present boyfriend from talking.

Jungkook holds your eyes for a little too long, you haven’t seen him in the eyes since that night in Abu Dhabi and it’s hard to look away.

“Of course, darling, we were just talking about the upcoming race in Monaco. I think we should attend it” Christian’s arm comes around your waist as he says that and Jungkook has to physically look away.

“I’d be great but I have midterms in a week” you answer noticing how familiar the sweater Jungkook is wearing, it’s the half zipper you helped him pick out.

“Midterms? What university did you get accepted into?” Jungkook asks and Christian answers before you can, “University of Oxford, we met on ___’s first day. She was late for her first lecture, I was rushing to submit an assignment. We collided into each other; her coffee ruined my project. To make up for it, she offered to buy me dinner and the rest is history” Christian says the last part as he turns to look at you lovingly, but there’s just a uncomfortable smile on your lips. Jungkook has a million questions to ask you, but seeing you with some other man is making him sick.

“Well good talking to you” Christian says cheerfully as you tug on his arm again.

“Likewise,” Jungkook says with a small voice, as he watches the two of you walk away.

Race 22 Abu Dhabi 2024

A rush of memories come back to yobtu as Maya and you walk into the Ferrari hospitality. You haven’t been on the paddock since Jungkook and you broke up, and you’re here today only because it’s Phillip’s final race. Maya had a tumultuous pregnancy, and after Phillip missed the birth of his son, it was decided, he was going to retire. He’d had a good ten years as a driver, now it was the time for him to be a father.

“Hey, I’m going to go look for Phillip” Maya says as she walks off with baby Aiden. You are a little fidgety as you take a seat, not wanting to see Jungkook but at the same time also wanting to see him.

To your surprise, Jungkook walks in, hand in hand with Ava, his girlfriend now for a year. Ava and him met during an Armani photoshoot, the two of them hit it off right away.

Jungkook keeps her at an arm’s length as he goes around talking to a few people, you keep eyes on them like a creepy ex-girlfriend, wondering if this is what he’d been like you with publicly.

It's when Jungkook’s hand goes up to massage his neck that you notice the shining silver chain around his neck, why would he keep it after all these years? Or more importantly, why would he wear it after all these years?

The after party is a little out of control, the ferrari people are celebrating two things, Phillip retiring and Jungkook winning the championship for the third time.

“So, you’re graduating this spring?” A random dude in the club asks as he leans even closer to you.

“Yeah, with a degree in education” you say as your eyes wander around the club for a familiar place, you spot Jungkook by the bar.

He’s not by himself, he whisper’s something in Ava’s ear and she turn around to punch him on his shoulder and lean in for a kiss. That sight is enough for you to be done with this night, making your way out the crowd is difficult but you manage it somehow. You’re almost out the club when someone tug’s on your wrist.

“Can we talk?” Jungkook asks but doesn’t wait for your response as he’s pulling you someplace quiet.

“Congratulations” you mutter and he smiles dropping your wrist. Jungkook changed so much over the last four years, his hair is longer, his face seems mature, his left forearm is full of tattoos, he looks like a champion in his fancy clothes.

“Where’s Christian?” Jungkook asks the question that he’s been waiting to ask since he spotted you in the ferrari garage earlier today.

“He proposed so I cheated on him, because I was too much of a coward to break up with him. I was an ugly, messy end” you don’t have any filter as you talk to him, maybe it’s the vodka you chugged earlier today. His lips are agape with bafflement as he stares at you, not knowing what to say.

“Just tell me it’s going to be fine” you say with a teasing smile, repeating something you said to him years ago.

“I’m sure it’s going to be fine” Jungkook mutters with a wide smile, thinking back to 20 year old you, because 24 year old you is so different it’s hard to recognise.

You keep your naturally long hair in a bob now, so many piercings along your right ear, you dress in mostly darker colours now instead of the pastels you favoured earlier.

“Seriously, I’m so happy for you. Three championships you wouldn’t have won if you didn’t break up with me, two actually” you try and joke but your tone is a little too serious.

“Don’t say that” he whispers looking down at your hands and noticing the missing golden ring.

“It’s the bitter truth tho, how are you and Ava? You guys in love?” you ask bitterly, taking a step away from him.

“___, don’t make me feel guilty about moving on-“ “I’m not trying to, I’m just frustrated that you can move on as if we never happened and I’m still stuck feeling broken because I can’t get over you!” you shout as the tears start to well up in your eyes again.

Jungkook wants to reach out, pull you into a tight hug, whisper how everything is going to be fine, but he doesn’t. He has Ava now, and reaching out to you like this would just give you false hope. Instead, he watches as you walk away again.

Spring 2025, Phillip and Maya’s wedding

“You guys were supposed to sleep apart the night before the wedding!” you bark as the couple as you break into their hotel room.

The couple just groans as they barely life of the bed, you’re just thankful none of them is naked.

“I snuck in because Maya was freaking out about getting married” Phillip whispers as he’s clearly hungover.

“You’ve been dating for over seven years, have a four year child, how the fuck are you nervous about getting married?” you shout and Maya springs up in bed, “Oh my god! Where’s Aiden?”

“He’s with your parents, seriously how much did you guys drink-oh my god five bottles of wine!” you shout some more as you spot the bottles by the bed.

This immediately triggers Maya’s tears, she’s clearly very hungover too.

“I’m going to be hungover on my wedding day” Maya cries and Phillip turns to glare at you, like her being hungover is your doing and not his.

“I’m going to get you a smoothie that’ll either fix your hungover or make you throw up and not be sick anymore. Phillip, get out, the makeup and hair people are going to be here soon, and please for the love for your son, no more crying till the wedding. Got it?” you ask with a stern voice and the couple nods with uncertainty.

You thought you had delt with the last of today’s problem but there’s a nth knock on your hotel room.

“Who’s it?” you shout struggling with the zipper of your dress, another thing to add to your drawbacks of being single.

“Jungkook” he says as he nervously ruffles his hair again, had he been looking forward to seeing you all weekend? Yes. Does the idea of seeing you make him incredibly nervous? Also, yes.

You swing the door open with confusion and are met with Jungkook holding up a tie he’s obviously been struggling with.

“You’re the only person I could think of to ask for help” he says and you smile and nod letting him in, weirdly enough you back into the room with your front facing him.

“I thought you were bringing Ava?” you ask leaning against the door, taking deep breaths to calm yourself.

“Ava and I broke up, long long time ago, a year ago” Jungkook says as he stands by the bed, watching as you stay fixed by the door.

You whisper a ‘oh’ as you walk towards him. Jungkook can’t believes he’s in an another hotel room with you, he had convinced himself this was never going to happen again.

“I can help you with your tie only after you zip up my dress,” you say turning around and exposing your bareback to him.

Jungkook’s dazed for a second but he snaps himself out of it as you take all your hair towards the side. The movement earns a surprised gasp from Jungkook.

“You got a tattoo?” he says and finger has a mind of his own as it traces your soft skin, making you flinch under his touch.

“You got a hand flipping of on your lower neck?” he asks with amusement as he zips up your dress quickly.

“I was so drunk and I thought it would be a great idea to get this, so that I was flipping off everyone behind me. How’d they allow people so drunk they need subtitles to understand get a tattoo is beyond me” you grumble about that stupid night is college again, no matter how fun it was, it was stupid.

“A stupid but kinda cute tattoo is part of the college experience ___, I’m just glad you weren’t holed up in your apartment every night, crying while reading a book” he teases and you snatch the tie away from him.

“You only walked in on me sobbing while reading a book once-“ “Twice actually” he corrects you as you move closer to raise his collars, bantering just like in the past.

A quietness blankets the room again as you hand sternly tie the tie around his neck. Jungkook’s looking away, this proximity feels like too much. “About the last time we talked-“ Jungkook’s interrupted by more rapid knocking on your door.

“Phillip is missing, I can’t find Phillip, oh my god he ran away!” you recognise the voice that belongs to one of Phillip’s groomsmen.

“I, um, have to take care of that” you whisper looking in Jungkook’s eyes as you take a step away from him.

“Of course,” he says tightening the tie and fixing his jacket.

“Phillip’s not missing, you check with Maya’s parents because he might probably be with Aiden. I’ll go and kick his ass if he’s getting Maya drunk again” you spring into action mode, somehow running in 4-inch heels.

You’re thankful about the waterproof mascara as Phillip and Maya exchange their vows. It was a beautiful ceremony, the sun was setting as they walked off as husband and wife. As the night gets darker people start to get more liquored up. Walking up to the couple, you pull the two of them in a tight hug, “I can’t believe you stupid idiots are married!”

“Can you not call us stupid on out wedding day?” Phillip grumbles and you chuckle sarcastically.

“Sure, I can’t believe you morons are married” “Talking of morons, have you talked to Jungkook yet” Maya says and you grumble snatching her drink.

“I can’t believe you told him” you say giving Maya a pointed look.

“Husbands and wives aren’t supposed to keep secrets from each other” Phillip announces, a little too happy about this.

“Maybe we should tell Phillip about the time you stuffed ones into a very chiselled man’s-“ “Why are you going around ruining people’s relationships because your love life is miserable” Maya raises her voice just a little as she shuts you up, gathering attention from a few people around.

“Hey, my love life isn’t miserable I’m dating myself, oh who am I kidding. I haven’t been on a date in three months” you grumble snatching Phillip’s drink too and he just look at you with concern.

“Maybe you should go talk to him, and stop stealing people’s drinks” Phillip says as he pulls Maya along with him. Turning to face the rest on the party, you spot Jungkook talking to a woman on his table.

Jungkook finally gets rid of the woman who’s been eating his ear off for most of the reception, maybe his mother is right, he’s too polite. Jungkook scans the room for you, and not to his surprise you’ve escaped the party. But it doesn’t take him too long to find you, Jungkook spots you on the other side of the lawn, sitting on a park bench.

Knowing you startle easy, he clears his throat to let you know of his presence. You give him a shy smile as you watch him walk up to you.

“Can I have a dance?” he asks as he offers you a hand. You had almost forgotten the feeling on his warm rough hands against yours and you take his offer. The band switches to a soft romantic song right on que, like it fated to be, or more like Jungkook slipped them some money to do that.

The two of you savour the moment, a rare sweet moment. Your cheek rests against his chest while his arm snakes around your waist as you sway together. He gets a hit of your perfume and it’s the same soft, vanilla sent and it’s making him lose his train of thoughts.

“You were wrong” he mutters, gaining some courage to talk to you.

“Wrong about what?” you ask, moving your head to look up at him.

“Ava and I weren’t in love, she or any other woman was a mere distraction to not keep reminding me of you shaped hole in my heart” he whispers as he watches your chest heave.

“I have an arm full of tattoos because ever few months I’d delude myself into thinking I’m over you, get a tattoo to symbolise it and then a week later be back to zero” Jungkook says this for the first time out loud. The look on your face is unreadable, maybe he’s lost his chance with you.

Jungkook drops his arm from around you and takes a step back, wanting to respect you.

“I’m sorry for bringing up old wounds, when it comes to you I always manage to do the wrong this” Jungkook can already feel a migraine coming as he thinks of all the overthinking he’s going to be doing. This finally evokes an emotion in you, a frown but still an emotion.

“You didn’t do something wrong when you broke up with me Jungkook, you have to stop beating yourself up about it. You were put in a corner, and that was the only solution to the problem” you say as your hands come up to cradle his face.

“Sure, I was irrationally angry with you for a while, but then I’d see you win during a race and feel like maybe the pain was worth it” you say with a twinkle in your eyes and Jungkook chuckles looking down.

“And you kept winning, I have some suspicion that Phillip partly retired because he was sick of you and the South Korean national anthem after most races” you say in attempts to ease the tense moment and this does make him smile.

“I had my suspicions about that too, but I didn’t bring it up because I’m sure Phillip would’ve punched me” Jungkook says snaking his arms back around you.

“That was smart of you, Phillip would have punched you square in your pretty face” you say as you lean your cheek back against his chest.

“Pretty still? I think it’s more ruggedly handsome face now” he whines as the two of you start swaying again.

“Sure, Phillip would’ve punched your ruggedly handsome face” you give up and hear another round of chuckles from his side.

“I missed you” you say as you bring your arms around him, and just like that the twinkling is back to his eyes, maybe he still is pretty face.

“I love you, I mean I missed you, FUCK!” Jungkook shuts his eyes, the migraine is starting to assault his senses but the rapidly blinks his eyes when he hears your boisterous laughter.

“Is my misery funny to you Ms Lee?” he asks pulling you closer and you just nod, mouthing a very.

“If you were any other man who’d said what you just did, I’d be running out of here. But lucky for you, I never stopped loving you” you say as you lean in for a kiss, and with just one singular kiss it feels like the last few painful years never happened.

taglist:

@blancflms @nadzzzblog @kookiewhtaee @jksoftiitii @oiseul @elisaaru @coralmusicblaze @tearyjjeonn @moonchild1 @jungkooksseuphoria @cookysstuff

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lemoncrushh · 1 month

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MASTERLIST

>> Learn a little about me and my writing here <<

>> Check out all my old fics on Wattpad (2015-2022) <<

*** REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN! ***

Dressing For Revenge // Part 2 Still heartbroken from finding your ex cheating on you, you go to a nightclub with your friend Kelsie, where not only do you run into your ex, but also a handsome gentleman who’s willing to help you get over him.

Kiss Me Deadly The annual Halloween party at the local pub has Y/N excited when she decides to invite her boss at the University, Mr. Styles. But she soon begins to second guess her decision when Harry starts acting odd. Is Harry Styles really who she thinks he is? Will this Halloween be a fantasy come true…or the kiss of death?

Through the Wall Harry is your handsome neighbour, and you keep hearing him through the wall.

Tattooed Heart You are a cocktail waitress at a swanky lounge. Harry comes in one night, and you instantly dislike him. But another encounter eventually changes your opinion. (Tattoo artist!harry x waitress y/n, enemies to lovers) [6 parts]

The Entertainer Set in the 70s, Sky Jones, a young woman from L.A., meets Harry Styles, an up-and-coming musician and frontman for the band Wildfire. Told in first person from Sky’s point of view, she shares her journey and what it’s like to fall for a rockstar. [10 parts]

The Entertainer II * Currently Ongoing * What if it wasn’t the end? What if Sky did actually see Harry at the Forum in the early 80s, and he saw her too? What if fate took hold of them both, and they realized their journey was not over? Set in 1981, Harry and Sky’s story continues with more music, more romance, and a few more twists and turns.

Wild Horses * Currently Ongoing* Amber Crosby didn’t end up with the life she’d expected, but that didn’t keep her from following her dream. A young, up and coming country recording artist, she and her band set out to do just that. Trying to leave her past behind, it wasn’t until meeting Harry Styles that she realized just how her life could take a turn and alter her future forever.

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ciaonicole85 · 8 days

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Part 5: What Then?

It's finally Sydney's one year work anniversary! A little slice of fluff to tide us over. Quick summary of the last 4 parts- Its been about 5-6 months since The Bear opened, the slowburn is slowburning,, and Carmy wants to make Syd an shareholder. Please excuse grammar/spelling. My contacts are fizzling out.

Sydney woke up with cheerful expectation before her alarm rang. Today was her work anniversary or “workversary”. A year ago, she strode into The Beef praying that this was her chance to make something great with one of the best chefs in the industry. Then in a couple short months The Beef had closed, the process of The Bear began, and since it’s opening her hopes of creating lifelong memories for people and of obtaining a star seemed possible. The dream was becoming more concrete every day.

She got ready eagerly and grabbed the garment bag with her freshly dry-cleaned custom chef’s coat. More than just the significance of the day, Syd felt like something special was going to happen. Carmy had brought up this anniversary almost every day for the past week. Obviously, he was hiding something, and she was ravenous to know what it was. She tried every truth extraction tactic she could think of, from feigning nonchalance to making him a gourmet peanut butter and jelly sandwich, to shameless pouting. The last almost worked, but Richie walked by interrupting her performance. Carm snapped out of her spell and from that moment refused to hint about today. Richie teased her ever since and even last night he left a voice note impersonating her honeyed murmur “Carmy, pleasssseee tell me…I’d wouldn’t hide anything from you” followed by retching noises.

Oh, well. She liked good surprises.

The morning was uneventful, but during staff lunch Carmy announced that it was Sydney’s work anniversary and Marcus brought out a sublime vertical carrot cake for everyone. He even made an additional small cake for her to take home and share with her father. It was so divine that if the cake was all she got, she would have been thankful, and she told him as much.

“Marcus, you are incredible! If you ever need a kidney, just make me this,” she moaned.

“I’ll remember that chef” he answered scratching his neck and bashfully ducking back into the kitchen. His crush on her was mostly snuffed out the night of Friends and Family, but occasionally those old feelings resurfaced.

As Sydney reached the peak of a blissful sugar high Carm asked her to join him in Natalie’s office. First a cake and now the mystery reveal!

They asked her to take the seat of honor, aka the comfortable chair, behind the desk. Nat looked pleased and relaxed, while Carmy was harder to read. His expression was a mixture of agitation and gladness as he drummed his fingers on his knee. For a moment they sat in silence.

“What is it?” Sydney blurted.

“Carm, tell her!” Natalie ordered with an exasperated smile.

Taking a deep breath Carmen gushed forth,

“Sydney, I don’t even know where I’d be, where The Bear would be, without you. You put in a crap ton of hours without pay during the reno, you kill it in the kitchen every day, we created the menu together, the staff respects you, you kept everything running when I was sick and…and…we want to give you a share in the restaurant.”

Sydney slumped back in the chair, speechless and gazed at them her pupils dilated like saucers.

Natalie went on to explain further, handing her a contract.

“If you accept, your share would be equivalent to Carm and I. Of ‘course none of us will see additional income until we pay back Uncle Cicero, but we didn’t want to wait to make it clear that you are essential to The Bear, to our family.”

Carmy held his breath. He had been elated about this for days, but now he doubted. Yes, Sydney wanted a star, and she loved the work, but would she want to be tied to The Bear, and by extension to him?

Sydney sat up, clutching the contract, and shook her head in amazement.

“You’re serious? A share? An equal share?”

“Yeah, of ‘course” Carmy replied, his ocean tinted eyes imploring her to believe it.

“Okay” she conceded softly, her vision blurred with tears, and she stood up to embrace her now legal partners.

Natalie swooped in first with one of her famous hugs and whispered, “Thank you.”

Then Carm overwhelmed with relief pulled her close, his lips slightly brushing her cheek.

Just then someone tapped on the door and Natalie opened it. It was Uncle Cicero eating a slice of Marcus’s cake.

“Hey, Uncle Cicero, to what do we owe this pleasure?” Natalie enquired.

“Well, my lawyer said he sent the contract over this morning, so I just wanted to officially welcome our new partner to the business and to the family! Sydney you’re a class act and this one couldn’t have picked better,” Uncle Cicero answered with a wink at Carmy. Then he beckoned for Syd to give him a hug, which she did her face hot with a mixture of happiness and self-consciousness. She felt like she was an honorary Berzatto.

“Well, I got to head out. We’ll talk again soon Sydney,” Cicero said warmly and beckoned Carm to follow him.

As they walked through the restaurant and out to his car, Cicero praised his nephew for making The Bear a success so far, raved about the cake and most importantly for making their monthly installments. Then he said something very strange.

“Carmen, you’re doing this right with that girl. Wise to get the business side squared away first. Oh, and I got a ring guy, he could get you a good deal.”

Carmy was jolted from the hazy cloud of contentment that enveloped him since Sydney accepted the offer.

“Why would I need a ring guy?”

“Hey, I know young people do things differently these days. Some wait for years, but when you’re ready to get engaged I got a connect.” Cicero explained.

“Well, uh, Sydney and I aren’t dating,” Carmy responded with a shade of longing in his voice.

“You broke up!?”

“We’ve never dated.”

“Then who were you seeing right before the restaurant opened?”

“Claire.”

“Who’s Claire?”

“She was from our old neighborhood; It didn’t work out. I was Alex Gonzalez during a lot of the reno. Why did you think I was dating Sydney?”

Cicero cocked his head, scrutinizing Carm with the intensity of an owl. That look would make Mike Tyson falter.

“Why do you think I thought you two were dating?”

Carmy blushed with a crooked smile, rubbing his chin.

Cicero sighed, got into his car, and rolled down the window.

“Don’t overthink it nephew. I could’ve been married to the love of my life if I wasn’t such a know-it-all manichino (dummy) in my youth.”

Carmy blinked, confused.

“But you are married.”

“Yeah, and she’s great. Not the love of my life though.”

With those words Cicero waved and took off.

Carmy stood for a minute to clear his mind before heading back inside. He knew Sydney was probably recovered from shock and waiting for him with dozens of questions about their new arrangement.

Also, would another hug be out of order?

#the bear #sydcarmy #sydney x carmy #carmy x sydney #carmy the bear #sydney adamu #fan fiction #syd adamu #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #friends to lovers #fan fic #fluff

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rendevok · 1 year

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My illustrations for CJC Week 2022 - unofficially titled Green Carnations

Done in collaboration with my friend Zee, who wrote a lovely fic by the same title.

#cjcweek2022 #caejose #this was such a special series to work on and im SO proud to say i actually finished a ship week for once!!#i pulled this entire week out of my ass [looks up to sky] this ones for you joseph #also dont look too closely i was suped up on cold medicine for like 90% of this #smooches #jjba #aus #fan art #fic rec #rendevok #i dont want to officially tag this because it’s wildly NOT canon at all #this is their happily ever after childhood friends to lovers story #set in a similar time frame but no powers no bullshit no bizarre adventure just a whole lotta homosexuality

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watermelonlovershigh · 18 days

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Friends Who Share Mutual Emotions {part 3.} (housemate!harry series)

Arguments and Confessions {part 2.} (housemate!harry series)

AN: i've been in a writing mood lately so i hope you enjoy me spitting out these stories left and right lol. anyways, here is part 3 to my housemate series. before you ask, yes there will be a part 4 and hopefully a couple more after that. let me know how you liked it and make sure to leave your feedback. thank you and enjoy!

This story contains: mentions of one-night stands, confessions of feelings, slight angst, fluff

{ housemate!harry - friendrry - soft!harry - au harry }

word count- 1,372

Harry confesses that you're the women he likes and after giving you some time to think, you have an eventful conversation about your mutual feelings and how you'd like to move forward within your friendship.

Looking deeply in your eyes, Harry answers clearly, "Her name..... her name is Y/n." The weight of his confession leaves you standing in the kitchen, completely shocked. When you initially asked him about his love interest, you never anticipated that he would reveal his feelings for you. Although he described some of your qualities, you didn't think much of it, as many people can possess similar traits.

Realizing that you need some time to process his words, Harry rises from his stool and states, "I don't expect you to feel the same way about me or anything. I'll give you some space to think, alright?" With that, he turns around and retreats back to his bedroom.

Now standing alone in the kitchen, you find yourself torn about what to do. On one hand, the man who kindly allowed you to stay in his home as a housemate, who eventually became your friend, and whom you've developed feelings for, has just confessed his affection for you. It seems like the ideal outcome, but what if something goes wrong? You would risk losing your best friend and a place to live.

On the other hand, if everything goes well, you could finally experience a fulfilling relationship. You could put an end to the casual encounters and truly understand the intimacy that others have experienced in Harry's bed. You would have the opportunity to feel his touch on your skin and savor his kisses, something you had only imagined during fleeting encounters with strangers.

---------------------------

You head to Harry's bedroom and upon reaching his door, you give it a hesitant knock. A soft voice responds with, "Come in." and you take that as your signal to enter. Inside, you find him sitting up in bed with his cat Pixie beside him, and the TV showing old episodes of Friends.

Approaching his bed slowly, Harry gestures for you to sit beside him. After a deep breath, you confess, "I want you to know that I have feelings for you too, Harry. How could I not? You're kind and sweet, and anyone would be foolish not to have a crush on you. But, I'm afraid."

Harry turns off the TV to focus on you. "Afraid of what, Y/n?" he asks, "We both like each other. What's there to fear?"

"It's not that simple, Harry," you respond with a hint of frustration. Why can't he see your concerns? Maybe it's a gender difference. Men don't worry about relationships as much as women do. Well at least from your personal experiences.

"Can you explain then, please? I want to understand your fears so we can move forward in a way that works for both of us."

Shifting uncomfortably on the bed, you express, "Harry, what if things don't work out between us? What happens then? I could lose a friend and I might not have enough money to cover regular rent in London."

"Y/n, our mutual feelings don't automatically require us to rush into a romantic relationship. We can proceed at a comfortable pace, one day at a time. Even if we don't progress beyond friendship, I value our bond too much to risk losin' it. As for your concern about losin' a place to stay, rest assure that I would never evict you if things don't work out romantically. You were my housemate first and foremost, and that won't change. Well, unless you want to move out someday that is."

Hearing his words have made your eyes gloss over. You can hear the sincerity in his voice and it makes your heart swell. But, you still need some clarification to move forward. "So like, where do we go from here, Harry? I don't want to think we're one thing but you assume we're something else. I don't want to constantly be questioning where we stand. What's too much or what's not enough."

Harry adjusts his posture, leaning closer to you. He carefully reaches out for your hands and clasps them within his larger grasp, holding them gently as he begins to speak. "As I mentioned earlier, Y/n, we can take this slow. Let our connection develop naturally. At this moment, I would describe our relationship as friends, but friends who share mutual emotions. And in response to a question I know you may have, no, I will not be sleepin' with anyone else. And I don't expect..."

Anticipating his next words, you swiftly interject, "No, neither am I. I mean, being involved with someone else intimately. I can promise you that. Besides, I never truly enjoyed having one-night stands. I only sought them out as a means to conceal my feelings for you. But now that my feelings are out in the open, there's no reason to hide them any longer. From now on I only want you."

Chuckling in relief, Harry murmurs, "Just me, huh?" He was incredibly anxious that you might still have the desire to sleep with other people, even though that didn't make much sense after you had confessed your feelings for him. However, he couldn't be entirely certain.

You lean forward, wrapping your arms around Harry's body, embracing him tightly. "Of course, Harry. I would never do that to you. Besides, most of the men I slept with were unsatisfactory, so I'm perfectly fine with giving up my one-night stands."

Harry reciprocates the embrace, then teasingly asks, "Unsatisfactory? Are you tellin' me those muscular, macho men you brought home hardly ever satisfied you?"

You respond, your voice filled with affection against his neck, "That's right. And when they did, it was usually because I was thinking of you."

"Alright, let's end that conversation right here or we'll have a problem on our hands and break our 'takin' it slow' rule." Harry remarks, trying to maintain a sense of caution. If you kept talking about how you always thought of him while having sex with all those strangers, he'd get hard in his pants and he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable right now. Nor does he want to move that fast. Like he said, he genuinely would like to take whatever you are, slow.

You laugh at his words and playfully say, "Can we take a nap? I'm feeling tired. Didn't get much sleep last night."

Harry nods in the embrace you still hold and replies, "Yeah, we can take a nap if you'd like. I didn't get much sleep last night either."

As you sit up, you carefully shift towards Harry's side where he's preparing a space for you to rest. "Seriously?" you inquire. Although you noticed his exhaustion when he entered the kitchen earlier, you didn't consider that it might be due to a lack of sleep.

"Yeah," Harry begins to coo while helping you under his duvet, "felt awful with how I spoke to you last night. The guilt ate me alive and I couldn't sleep."

Now laying side by side, facing each other, you whisper out, "Awe, well you can rest easy now. I forgive you." As your eyes flutter shut, Harry can't help but think about how you're too far away from him. Even though you're literally just six inches apart in reality.

So without thinking, he draws himself closer to you and wraps you in his arms. Which in turn has you pressed up against his clothed chest. "Is this alright?" Harry whispers quietly. Although he wishes to take things slowly, cuddling is typically considered a leisurely activity, isn't it? It remains innocent and platonic.

"Yes, very much alright." you reply and soon after fall asleep. The musky smell Harry produces along with the warmth of his body lulls you right to sleep. It may be only nine in the morning but with your lack of sleep the night before, have no trouble falling unconscious.

Harry also falls into a deep slumber. The comfort of having you in his arms lulls him into a state of relaxation, leading him to quickly doze off. His cat Pixie has now settled at the foot of the bed, peacefully asleep alongside you both. Harry's once anxious room is now filled with tranquility. The unfolding of your friendship will become more apparent when you wake up later today.

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )

tag list: @one-sweet-gubler // @harryscherrysugar // @hsfanficsrecss // @lollypopsx // @harrycanyonmoonn // @allthelovehes // @damnasstyles // @mrsstylesharry // @softmullet // @meetmyblondemuffins // @thegirlnextdoorssister // @stanleystyles // @haarrrys // @michellekstyles // @skyangel57 // @the-gardener-31 // @lhharrylilpumpkin // @yousunshine-youtemptress // @clairestylessss // @kissmyaxe140 // @goldenmelonsugar-hi // @kaitieskidmore97 // @florencepughily // @alienorknight //@dancearoundthelivingroom // @swiftmendeshoran

// @luv-flor7777 // @alohastyles-x // @tenaciousperfectionunknown // @sleutherclaw // @siredtohybrid // @whoscamila // @a-strange-familiar // @golden-elodie // @mrspeacem1nusone // @goldenkhae // @lntwithhrry // @shadowygladiatorlight // @manifestrry //@mendesblurb // @sunshinemoonsposts // @depersonalizationsucks // @academiaghost // @zendayassimp // @reveriehs // @vsnnstuff // @dancinsunflowerkiwi // @quinnsgrapejuice // @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite // @justlemmeholdyou // @hsonlyangelxo // @luvonstyles // @howdey

______________

My Masterlist Masterpost

A Shift Occurs {part 4.} (housemate!harry series) (SMUT)

#harry styles #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fic rec #friend!harry #friendrry #housemate!harry #housematerry #softrry #soft!harry #harry x reader #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles series #friends to lovers #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb

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be-with-me-so-happily · 10 months

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Chapter 7

Series Summary: Gemma is definitely Cassidy James' favourite Styles family member, considering they are best friends and all. And especially considering that Harry Styles is Gemma's smug and self-centered younger brother. Her life isn't perfect, and neither is she, but she hates how everyone thinks Harry is. Because she knows that's not the case.

Chapter Summary: Cassidy thought her friendship with Harry and her relationship with Derek could exist peacefully. But you can't always have what you want, and sometimes you can keep what you already have.

Chapter Warnings: Some explicit language, mention of sex, alcohol consumption, jealousy, argument, physical altercation, panic/anxiety attack

[ present - August 2020 ]

As the sunlight from outside peeks through the curtains, Cassidy stretches her body, her eyes still shut as she holds onto that peaceful feeling.

A stirring beside her opens her eyes, and she rolls over to see Derek slowly waking.

It wasn't planned that he would stay the night, but the relief from her completed work, a couple glasses of wine, and the feeling of his lips persistently grazing her neck sent them straight to the bedroom as soon as her laptop was shut.

"Mm. Good morning." Derek mumbles, turning onto his side and slowly blinking to clear his vision, smiling as they meet each other's gaze. "I definitely enjoy waking up like this."

Cassidy brings her shoulders up in shyness, a blush forming on her cheeks. He is the first man, in a very long time, that she has woken up next to in the bed. The man before him was, maybe unfortunately, her last sexual partner. The man before him is actually, in a way, the reason it's been so long. Because, the man before him is Cecelia's father.

[ flashback - January 2016 ]

"You had sex with Nathan?" Gemma squeals, bouncing in excitement.

Cassidy smiles at not only the question, or the memory of that night, but also at how silly yet normal it feels to be sitting on Gemma's bed and talking about boys, since now they are in their early twenties.

"You're acting like I'm some shy, little virgin, Gem! I've had sex before."

Her best friend swats her arm and Cassidy grabs it in dramatic fashion.

"I know you're not, CJ. I was at the party when that all changed." She winces in disgust, and Cassidy knows it is due to the reminder of that night. She was naive, and inexperienced, and it was just bad. "I know about everyone you've had sex with."

Cassidy clears her throat, desperately hoping that Gemma doesn't read anything into it, because there is actually one person that her best friend does not know about. That she can never know about. Gemma will never know that Cassidy had sex with Harry. Twice.

"Okay, now you're making me out to be a whore."

"Oh for fucks sake, CJ." Gemma rolls her eyes, pulling her knees to rest under her chin. "So… what was he like?"

"Gem!" Cassidy exclaims, tossing a nearby pillow in her friend's direction.

"What? I had to ask…"

"You really didn't…"

Gemma pouts, giving her best begging eyes, even though they both know that Cassidy will spill the beans anyway.

"It was good." She states, dropping her head down onto her own knees as she feels a pink hue rushing to her cheeks. "Really good."

"That's all I get?"

"I'm not going into detail about it, Gem, bloody hell!"

"Fine." Gemma's shoulders drop in disappointment, causing Cassidy to let out a loud laugh.

"It was hot and sweaty." She replies, suddenly wanting to give her friend just a little something to satisfy the curiosity. "And, he was good at it."

A buzz almost vibrates through the entire mattress, and both girls check their phones to see who was sent some form of communication. Cassidy holds hers up so the screen is on full view for her friend.

"Speaking of…"

🗨️Nathan: i had a really good time with you

Cassidy instantly feels the pink hue turn to a bright, hot red. She bites her bottom lip, and her gaze flickers up to her best friend, not speaking any words to clue her in on what was just said through the text.

🗨️Cassidy: i did too

🗨️Nathan: i'll let you know next time i'm in town

🗨️Nathan: if you wanna hang out again

"Well… what does it say? Are you gonna see him again?" Gemma asks, scooting across the bedding as if it gets her closer to the information she's about to receive.

"Ummm…" Cassidy begins to reply. She feels an almost giddiness begin to flutter in her stomach, but tries to reel it in. When they met, at that One Direction party, she figured he was nice, even though their interaction was cut short by a certain long-haired twat. And when Michal later mentioned Nathan had been asking about her, she must admit she was a little flattered, despite the awkward tension in the room between her and Harry. It's sort of ironic that she was so insistent that she and Nathan were not going on a date on New Year's Eve, yet here she is, talking to her best friend about how she just spent the night with him. She can almost hear Harry's disgustingly arrogant 'I was right' comment if he were also involved in this conversation. She hates that he was, coincidentally, correct. But her recent date with Nathan went really well, and even though it would cause Harry's already giant ego to grow, she's actually glad she got together with the guy.

"Yeah." She utters, looking down at the open messages on her phone, slight discouragement settling in.

"That doesn't sound convincing…"

"It's just that…" Cassidy looks up, her teeth toying with her bottom lip as she adjusts her posture. "He isn't always in town. I guess he's been traveling a bit for his job."

"What does he do?" Gemma asks. "I don't remember."

"Honestly? I don't either." She admits, pulling her lips inward with a little guilt. "Something with production, or marketing, I think."

"Hm." Her best friend hums, an expression of thought now embedded between her brows. "Well, it seems as if he likes you… he wants to see you again when he can… maybe just see where it goes?"

"See where it goes." Cassidy utters back, as if to let the words take root in her brain. She looks down to her phone again, her thumbs positioned over the keyboard as she begins to type.

🗨️Cassidy: yeah, let me know when you're back

[ present - August 2020 ]

Cassidy gives Derek one last kiss before rolling out of his arms and scooting close to the edge of the bed to retrieve her phone.

"I think we slept in…"

"That's good… right?" Derek chuckles, a humorously confused look across his still sleepy face.

"Yeah, it is, I guess. I just never get to do it. But it's good." She smiles back, unlocking her phone to check the time. As she opens it, her expression drops and she quickly sits up in the bed. "Nope… not good. Not good!"

"What? Why?" Derek asks, sitting up to match her posture and placing his hand on her back.

"Shit. Umm… okay, okay…" She stutters, looking around the room for something, though she isn't sure what she needs, since her mind has become a jumble. "The time! Harry is gonna be here in 15 minutes with Cece!"

"Okay… I don't understand why that's bad."

Cassidy sighs. Not truly out of annoyance, but more so to regulate her breathing, also hoping she can take that second to gather her thoughts.

"She's going to see you here." That's all she can manage as her mind focuses on searching for her clothes.

"I'm… confused… I'm still not seeing the problem."

She can't blame him, really. He's never dated a single mum, so he's not accustomed to the dynamic of this sort of relationship. She really shouldn't blame herself for anything either, but she can't help picturing the face Cecelia will make seeing Derek there when she is brought back home. It doesn't sit right with Cassidy, not this early on.

"She's still getting used to us being together, Derek. I don't want to make it even more awkward for her."

"Cecelia is only 3 years ol-"

"Derek, please. Y-you... I need you to leave."

"Okay." He slides out of the bed, stopping his steps as he gets close enough to hold onto her shoulders. "I don't want you to stress out. I'll go."

Cassidy nods in response, closing her eyes as he kisses her forehead and releases his hold for them to both find their clothing.

She feels her breaths pick up their pace, hoping she can keep herself calm enough so that Derek doesn't pick up on her current fret.

As he finally finishes dressing, he comes up behind her, shuffling along with his hands on her waist as she exits the bedroom, walking to the hook by the front door where he placed his keys.

She spins around to find a wide, amused grin stretched across his face, causing a small amount of annoyance to bubble up.

"What's so entertaining about this?"

He pulls her closer, once again placing his lips on her forehead, then down onto her nose, and one on her own lips.

"This is the first time I've been kicked out." He utters. "But if it ended up happening, I would never have thought it would be because someone was coming back home. Well, not a kid, at least."

"It's just…" She begins to reply, not even sure of what she wants to convey, her mind is in too much of a frantic state.

"I was just trying to lighten the mood, I'm sorry."

He pulls back, lifting her chin to focus her gaze on his. "It'll be okay. I'll call you later, yes?"

"Yes." She quietly responds, receiving one last kiss, and watches as he exits through the front door.

She releases a few shallow breaths as she attempts to gather herself. Derek is gone, which wasn't the problem, but she does believe that having him there when Cecelia got home would just create an even more awkward dynamic between the two of them. She may be young, but she is observant and bright. Cassidy is sure she would pick up on the fact that something was different. Or, at the very least, feel upset because someone else is at their flat in the morning, despite her own absence. Even if Cassidy is completely wrong, she'd much rather be safe than sorry. Her daughter always comes first.

A knock on the door pulls her out of her daze, creating a frustration since it seems Derek is being a bit careless and disregarding her wishes.

She swings the door open, finding Harry standing on the other side, with Cecelia's little hand wrapped in one of his, and her belongings held in his other.

"Mummy!" She exclaims, releasing herself from Harry and wrapping her arms around her mum's leg.

"H-hey, Bug." Cassidy manages to reply, her gaze flickering down the corridor with worry beginning to build. Did they see him? Did they both see Derek? If they did, what might he have said to them?

She moves out of the way, ushering them both inside, and closes the door behind them.

Cecelia runs straight to her bedroom, and Harry turns around with a curious expression on his face.

"I see work went well…" He states, an unclear tone to his words. Cassidy feels her chest tighten at the realization that they did, in fact, run into the man who stayed the night. Not only did her daughter encounter him, but Harry too, and she can't determine why that bothers her almost as much, but assumes it is because of the tension they always seem to have. "Cass, are you alright?"

"Did… did he say anything?"

"Who? Derek?"

"Yeah."

Harry shakes his head, putting down the bag of Cecelia's things and placing one hand on Cassidy's arm.

"I spotted him in the parking lot. Cece didn't even notice." His response helps her to release a bit more of a shaky breath, and Harry gently squeezes her arm. "Hey. Inhale and exhale for me, yeah?"

Her eyes meet his, seeing the familiar concern that he has shown each time he's helped her through a panicked state. He begins to demonstrate what he's asked her to do, and she follows along, breathing in and out at the same pace, seeing his own worry diminish each time they do so together.

"There you go." He encourages, his focus fixed on her. "Better?"

"Yes." She replies, her lungs opening with her new regulated breathing. "Thank you."

"What's going on?" He asks, that concern seemingly turning from her panic and now to what may have caused it.

"I don't really know." She replies. Despite simply not wanting Derek's presence to create an uncomfortable environment for Cecelia, she isn't sure why that possible scenario caused such an intense reaction.

"Was it Derek?" He questions, his tone turning a lot more stern than it was just moments ago. "Did something happen with him?"

"No, no, no." She quickly responds, wanting to squash the negative assumption immediately. "No. I just… I didn't want Cece to see him here."

"Why's that?" He asks suddenly.

"I'm not sure." Her brow furrows, searching her mind for a satisfying answer. Not necessarily for Harry, but for herself. "I just thought it might be awkward for her. I'm sure I was just being ridiculous."

"That's not ridiculous, Cass." He gives her a small, yet reassuring smile. "She's your daughter. You want to do what feels right for her."

A warmth falls over her. A sudden relief through validation. She's a mother. She's allowed to be protective. Especially when allowing another person into their lives. And besides, this is all new territory for her.

Derek hasn't been in a situation like this either, so she can't expect him to understand. Oddly, Harry seems to get it, but many of his other friends have children too. He's probably been privy to a multitude of different parenting difficulties.

"I didn't… plan any of it, by the way."

"What do you mean?" He asks, confusion appearing on his features.

"I didn't know he was coming over last night. He showed up while I was working. He hung around while I was writing, and then we ended up-"

"I don't need the details." Harry interrupts, smiling yet wincing simultaneously, causing Cassidy to laugh.

"I just don't want you to think that I had you watch Cece so I could… have a date or something, and not tell you." She explains softly, and shyly.

"Cass… I know you're not that type of person." Harry chuckles. "And I suppose it doesn't matter anyway. I offered to help, there were no conditions."

She sighs out of relief. Mainly due to the reassurance of his willingness to help out. But also, mildly, she feels that relief because he doesn't seem to be uncomfortable with whatever potential reason she needed that help. Maybe that's a good sign, that they can all get along, and be around each other.

"Plus, I'll take any opportunity to spend time with the James girls…" He begins to add, and by the look being created in his face, Cassidy can tell he has something cheeky to say next. "Well, one of them. The other is a bit of a nuisance…"

"Oh you're one to talk, you wank-"

"But speaking of hanging out, are you free this weekend? My friends Sarah and Mitch want to meet you." He states, a shy blush forming on his cheeks, and an almost timidness to his tone.

"From your band? Why?" She asks, hoping the question didn't come across as snarky. Though, considering their usual banter, she wouldn't really care either way.

"Yeah." He chuckles, running a ring-free hand through his unclipped hair. "They want to meet the girl who tormented me as a kid."

"Oh you've got to be kidding me!" She exclaims, watching as a wide grin stretched across his face, and a dimple caves into his cheeks.

Harry throws up his hands, dramatically, in defense of his sarcastic statement.

"That's how I remember it…" He replies, the grin somehow getting wider. "It would be a small group of us, eating out or something. You can tell lies… I mean stories… from our childhood."

"Wow. You are really selling me on the idea of hanging out with you and your friends." She rolls her eyes, noticing Harry pulls his lips as he jokingly does the same.

"You'll have friends there too. Me…" He points to himself proudly, and arrogantly, as if that's all the reason she needs. To be fair, it is. She would hang out with him any time. But considering how Derek feels, it's probably best to include more people. At least for now.

"Wow. Convincing." She scoffs, lightheartedly.

"And Gem." He jokingly scowls back. "And Roxie, if you want to invite her."

"Well, in that case…" She teases, pretending to ponder all the information she's just been given. One thing she does actually wonder is if she should mention the man she's been dating. If she should include him, too. It's Harry's invitation. He doesn't seem to be the biggest fan of Derek, who seems to reciprocate the feeling, so it's probably best not to. Besides, she has seen a lot more of Derek lately than the others, and she can have a night out with just her friends if she wants. "Count me in!"

•••

Despite the new limited capacity inside, the pub seems to be filled with noise and laughter, and as she walks up to the secluded booth filled with her friends, Cassidy can't help but feel as if this is something she's been needing. Though, it's probably something that most people have been needing, ever since the world practically shut down.

There's probably not enough gratitude she can express for this venue allowing small groups of people, masked until they are seated, to get together and slowly get back a bit more freedom. And just as much, she is thankful for Harry's invitation to a night out.

"There she is!" Gemma exclaims, causing each person's head to swivel in her direction. "Is Roxie coming?"

"No, she couldn't make it."

"Well, nice of you to join us." Harry adds, instantly receiving a friendly glare from her.

"Hey! I had to try to explain to Cece why she couldn't come and hang out with us." She shakes her head, almost exhausted from the fifteen minute conversation she had with her 3 year old before she left.

"She just wants to be with her bestie…"

"Yeah and I still can't figure out why." She chuckles, sliding into the spot at the end of the seat, next to Gemma.

"You must be Cassidy then." She hears from the middle of the group, turning and meeting the gaze of the brunette smiling back at her.

"I am! You must be Sarah." She smiles, reaching across the table as best she can to shake hands. Her gaze moves over a few inches to see a quiet, brunette man, with the smallest of smiles on his face, barely detectable as he makes eye contact. "And you must be Mitch."

"Yep." He responds, reaching his own hand out for a quick shake.

"Nice to meet you both." She states, settling back down in her seat. As her gaze flickers over to Harry, she sees his lips pulled slightly to his left in a subtle smirk, as if proud that they've all finally met. Though, the funny thought crosses her mind that he might not be so happy about the situation if and when she corrects any ridiculously inaccurate stories he's already told them. "I hear I have some childhood memories I need to straighten out."

"That was a joke, Cass."

"They still deserve to know the truth." She smirks, seeing his grow a little wider with amusement. "But first, I need a drink."

•••

As Harry buries his face in his palms, the rest of the group erupts with laughter, unfortunately for him it's at his expense.

"My mum never intended for him to wear that dalmatian costume for two more years…" Gemma states, expanding on the story they've been engrossed in.

"It didn't even fit him anymore. The hem of the bottoms came halfway up his shins!" Cassidy adds, trying hard to catch her own breath.

"Alright. Alright." Harry lifts his head, giving it a shake as he gives his sister a glare.

"Sorry little brother." Gemma states.

"It's a fun memory!" Cassidy adds, regaining control of her breaths. As it settles, she focuses on him, seeing a sheepish smile on his face.

"Yes, yes. They've all been so fun." He proclaims sarcastically.

"Well, fun for us…" She responds, pointing between herself and her best friend. Harry purses his lips with a squint of his eyes, causing Cassidy to lift her almost empty glass for a sip, to fake some innocence. Though, she knows he's unbothered by it. He was the one to create this situation after all.

She feels a buzz under her hand, and she flips her palm over to unlock her phone, opening the new message she has just received.

🗨️Derek: hey beautiful, having fun?

🗨️Cassidy: yeah, loads!

"What about secrets? I'm sure you've got some good ones to share about this guy that most people don't know!" Sarah asks.

She closes out of the texts, turning off her screen to think over Sarah's question. For a second, Cassidy believes she doesn't have any, only funny stories to embarrass the guy. However, only a moment later, she is reminded of the one secret they share. The one no one else knows. The one where their bodies were entangled in a sweaty mess in his hotel room. Twice. The one that cannot and will not be shared with anyone else. Especially not at this table, with this crowd. Especially not with Gemma, her best friend and his sister, sitting right beside her.

Her eyes shoot up to his, noticing his lips pulled inward in anticipation. Or maybe worry. Clearly, though, he was reminded of the same thing as he stares at her with wide eyes.

"Umm…" She stalls, watching him squirm in place as she feels her heart begin to race. What can she even say? Her delayed response is only going to make things more uncomfortable, and maybe even begin to look suspicious. She has got to think of something to say, and thankfully, to her extreme relief, she thinks of one other thing to share. "I do know… one thing…"

"Ca-... Cass…" He utters nervously, and quietly, potentially hoping to be unheard by the others, and plead with her not to share their intimate secret. He shouldn't be worried, she wants to keep that locked away as much as he does. Maybe even more.

"When he was younger, Harry had a crush…" She begins in a teasing manner, noticing his eyes squeeze shut. "On his teacher, Mrs. Hamilton."

His eyes shoot open with surprise, and possibly even gratitude, despite her statement being of utter humiliation for him.

"How did you-"

"I overhead you singing some cutesy little made-up song about her one day."

"You did not!" Gemma squeals, a question rather than a defense for him.

"Most boys have a crush on a teach-"

"She was 50 years old, H!" His sister interrupts, causing his hands to return back into his palms as he growls in embarrassment.

"She had a nice smile." He whimpers, and Cassidy can just make out the red blush on his cheeks.

Despite it being a mild admission, she does feel bad for revealing the information, so she takes a deep breath and reaches towards him, placing the tips of her fingers on his for encouragement.

"I… had a crush on Mr. Peters…"

"Oh god!" Gemma exclaims, her palm hitting her forehead as fast as the words leave her lips. "That's just as appalling."

"He had a nice smile, too." She adds, watching Harry lift his head and chuckle, sending an almost appreciative glance with his glistening green eyes. She feels a tickle on her cheeks as a pink hue undoubtedly begins to surface, so she pulls her hands back and straightens herself. "And now I need another drink!"

"I'll get it." Sarah states, bumping Mitch on the arm, causing him to do the same to Harry. "My shout, I'll pay, as a thanks for giving up all those details about H!"

As Harry stands, he rolls his eyes and steps aside, letting his friend out of the booth. Sarah winks as she walks away, and Cassidy feels a nudge on her own arm.

"I need to use the toilet." Gemma utters, causing Cassidy to slide off from the seat and allow her friend to slide by.

Another vibration from her phone grabs Cassidy's attention as she reclaims her seat, and she opens it up to see a couple more messages have just come in.

🗨️Derek: how long will you be there?

🗨️Derek: was hoping to come by after

Cassidy rereads his question, unsure as to why it seems to suddenly, but only slightly, bother her. He knew she was going out with her friends tonight, and that the two of them didn't have any plans together. But nonetheless, she supposes it should be considered sweet that he still wants to see her.

🗨️Cassidy: not sure, maybe an hour or 2

🗨️Derek: oh, really? okay

She places her phone back down onto the table and sighs, thinking that maybe she should have actually included Derek in this get-together.

"You good?" She hears next to her, coming from that familiar and deep voice of her friend, apparently now sitting next to her. She looks up to find his curious, maybe even concerned, expression waiting for her answer.

"Yeah, I'm good." She nods, but it doesn't seem to ease the tension in his features.

"Is it Cece?" He asks, scooting just a little closer as his eyes float down to the device in front of them.

"No, no, she's fine. Our neighbor is over at our flat to watch her. And she's in bed anyway." She replies, inhaling a deep breath and feeling an odd, random sense of comfort as his cologne hits her senses. "It's actually Derek texting me."

Harry's body tenses, very apparent to her, but maybe not so much to his other friend Mitch who is now listening to something on his own phone. She wishes she knew exactly why Harry reacts that way every time she mentions the man she's seeing. If she knows what it is that bothers him, maybe she can fix it.

"Right. And, umm…" He unclamps the clip that has been holding his hair back, and runs his fingers through as he tussles it around. "Did he not want to come out tonight?"

"I didn't invite him." She unintentionally blurts out, no longer able to cultivate a better reply.

"Oh." He utters, and Cassidy catches a small upward tug of his lips, which he immediately attempts to retract. "Why's that?"

"I just wanted a night out with my friends." She shrugs, doing her best not to react to his true, yet subtle, expression of happiness at Derek's absence. "He can come to the next one."

"Sure." He nods, stretching his long, tattooed arm across to grab his glass, instantly bringing it to his lips for a taste of the contents. Cassidy rolls her eyes, though only internally, at the underlying tone to his statement, no matter how hard he's trying to cover it up.

Another notification buzzes through, and she hears an exhaled scoff from the man beside her, slightly muffled by the edge of the glass still pressed between his lips.

🗨️Derek: text me later then

🗨️Cassidy: i will

She relocks the screen once again, setting the phone into her bag to focus on the friends in front of her. She meets Harry's gaze to find him smiling, potentially the biggest smile of the whole night.

"What?"

"I'm just glad we all get to hang out." He shrugs, a timid innocence drawn with his words.

"Really? Even though I'm counteracting this alternative reality you seem to have created for your other friends?" She chuckles, nudging his side gently with her elbow.

"Yes. Despite that." Harry responds, running his thumb along his bottom lip. "It's fun to reminisce…"

"Yeah. You're right." She agrees. "Turns out not all of my childhood memories were so bad."

[ flashback - September 1999 ]

Sitting atop her fluffy pink quilt, her little fingers picking at the nails of each hand, Cassidy waits for someone to enter her bedroom. She doesn't know who it will be. She doesn't know who she wants it to be. But what she does know, even at the age of 6, is that whatever she just walked into was something she wasn't meant to see.

"CJ?" She hears spoken softly, accompanied by a gentle knocking on her door. Her shoulders drop, feeling a little calmer as to who is on the other side.

Her mother slowly opens the door, keeping that quiet, calm demeanor as she steps inside and closes it behind her, allowing it to be just the two of them in the conversation.

"I'm sorry if me and your dad scared you." Her mother states solemnly, taking a seat on the bed and stroking her daughter's hair in comfort. "We were… having a little disagreement…"

"You were yellin', and yellin' is bad." Cassidy responds quickly, and so matter-of-fact, showing off how well she really does know the rules of the house.

"I know, darling, I'm sorry."

"I didn't like it."

"I know, I'm sorry…" Her mother sighs, kissing the top of her daughter's head. "We shouldn't have been so loud."

Cassidy leans into her mother's chest, feeling warmth and comfort appear as she is wrapped up in the hug.

"Mummy?"

"Yes?"

Cassidy pulls her head back, innocently looking into her mother's eyes.

"Daddy shouldn't have hit you. Hittin' is bad, too." She furrows her brow, remembering her father's hand smack across her mother's face as Cassidy entered the kitchen earlier in the evening. "I didn't like that either."

"I know. I'm sorry, CJ." Her mother pulls Cassidy's body back to her, the hold a little tighter this time. "He was… upset. I made a mistake and… well, anyway, I'm alright. Okay? I'm alright."

"Okay." She nods, feeling a hot breath on her hair, causing another question to want to wiggle its way out. "Umm… Mummy…"

"Yes, darling?"

"Will… will he-... what if I make-"

"CJ." Her mother states, pushing back to stare into her daughter's eyes, showing such a sincerity that even the young girl can understand it. "You don't have to worry. No one will hurt you."

[ present day - August 2020 ]

As Cassidy enters through the doors to the lift of her building, she realizes she hadn't sent a text to the babysitter, letting her know that she was on her way.

"Damn it." She mumbles, reaching inside of her bag to retrieve her device, hoping she didn't miss any important messages.

As she unlocks the screen of her phone, she is met with multiple notifications, and feels guilt poke at her heart for not checking it sooner.

Her finger presses to open the app and her breath halts momentarily as she realizes that every message is from one particular person.

🗨️Derek: have you left the pub?

🗨️Derek: are you back yet?

🗨️Derek: can you please text me

🗨️Derek: when will you be home?

🗨️Derek: Cassidy where are you?

Eyes growing wide and the noise of the lift reaching her floor pulls her attention away as the doors begin to open.

She steps out, her gaze adjusting down the corridor towards her flat, and notices someone sitting by her door.

"What the…" She utters quietly, catching up with her thoughts as she catches the attention of the visitor. "Derek? What th-... what… are you doing here?"

The man scrambles to his feet and instantly stands tall, the expression on his face being one of concern. No, it's not one of concern, it's one that is concerning. To her.

"I told you that I wanted to come by."

"Right, but… Derek, I-... I was out with my friends…"

"I know. You said you'd be back in an hour or two, so I made my way over." He shrugs, as if this shouldn't be a surprise to her at all. As if this was always the plan for the night. "You took a bit longer than you said though."

"You've… you've just been… waiting out here?" She watches as Derek nods, swift and simple, yet not doing anything to subside the shock and confusion that's chaotically taken over her brain. "Umm… l-let's just… go inside."

She reaches into her bag and the quiet jingle of keys captures her focus enough to unlock the door and slowly push it open.

"We need to be quiet. Cece is asleep." She whispers over her shoulder, hearing a hum of acknowledgement behind her.

They both step through the doorway, and Cassidy's neighbor stands up from the sofa.

"How was she, Mrs. Clarkson?"

"She was great." The lady smiles. "Went down for bed pretty easily too.'

"Well, thank you so much for watching her tonight. I really appreciate it." Cassidy states, more than grateful to have finally gotten to know her neighbor a few weeks ago, and the woman's offer to take care of Cecelia whenever she was needed.

"It's no problem. Cece is so fun and so sweet. It was my pleasure." Mrs. Clarkson states and suddenly glances behind Cassidy, seemingly noticing the man standing a foot or two away. "Well… I suppose I better be off then."

Mrs. Clarkson nods at the both of them, grabbing a small bag and shuffling towards the door.

"Are you sure I can't give you some mon-" Cassidy tries to ask, despite their earlier conversation, before her night out even began.

"You are just as sweet as your daughter. But I'm sure." Her neighbor swivels around, one hand up in front, the other on the doorknob, and a smile on her face. "I'm here to help, if and when you need me. Enjoy your night."

"Thank you." Cassidy replies, watching the woman walk out, closing the door, and seeming to take the positive vibes with her. Her previous confusion and frustration reappear instantly as she turns her attention back to Derek. "What is going on? Why did you come over?"

"A guy can't just want to see his girl?" He asks, a sarcastic tone to his voice, and his arms across his chest.

"That's not what I'm saying. But tonight was about me spending time with my friends."

"And am I not good enough to hang out with them, too?"

"What? It's not that… you…" Cassidy exhales forcefully, confusion clouding her mind enough to prohibit any complete thought or sentence to be formed. She still has no grasp of an idea as to why he's there or what's going on. "I just… wanted to spend time with my friends."

"Right. Without me." Derek replies, his entire body becoming noticeably more tense as she sees his palms curl into fists.

Cassidy pulls her lips inward, not wanting to say something she may regret, though she isn't even sure what she would say anyway. This entire conversation, and situation in general, is throwing her for a loop.

Thankfully, a buzz from her phone gives her some relief, pulling it out and using the new message as a chance to momentarily reset herself.

🗨️Harry: did you get home safe?

Her thumbs touch the screen to respond, yet the word 'yes' becomes a jumbled array of extra letters as she feels her phone being snatched out from her grasp.

Her mouth drops open, unable to comprehend what has happened, and she shoots her gaze up to see Derek's scowl as he looks down at the device.

"Harry was there?" He growls.

"Derek, what the h-"

"I fucking get it now." He drops the phone back down into her still open hands and scoffs. "Now I see why I wasn't allowed to go."

"What?"

Derek steps closer, and a familiar feeling flows over Cassidy's body, though she doesn't have the speed and steadiness to determine what it is. But she knows it isn't a good one.

"You didn't want me there, because Harry was there."

"Why would that-"

"Because you love him! Don't you? You fucking love him and you lied to me!"

"Derek, Harry and I are just friends." Cassidy replies, quieting her volume in hopes that he will do the same, for the sake of Cecelia's sleep.

A few more steps and he is right in front of her, their toes almost touching. It's normally something that someone would want their significant other to do, but this is not one of the times, and an uneasiness courses through her veins.

"Are you fucking him?" He asks, his voice no more than a whisper, though the intensity in his tone has doubled.

"We've talked ab-"

"Answer the question, Cassidy." He growls, a darkness growing in his glare. "Are you fucking him?"

"No! I'm not!" She replies, her mind swirling in a daze, only providing the most inappropriate memory to manifest at this most inconvenient time. "It's been years since we-"

"Years? Years since… what? Since you two hooked up?" He groans, throwing his head back and running his hands over his face, scoffing at her unintended confession. "I knew it. I fucking knew it."

"It… it was a long… long time ago." She utters, surprising herself that any words came out considering the lump now lodged in her throat.

"Sure. And I'm supposed to believe that you two are 'just friends' now?" His body resets, and a hand suddenly flies forward to grip her arm, causing her body to stiffen, and as his other grabs her phone and throws it to the floor. "I call bullshit."

"Derek… please…" She whispers, her past beginning to surface in her thoughts and feelings.

"Please? Please what?" He mimics, bringing his free hand up to grab her jaw, and his face hovering right in front of hers. "Please forgive you? Please believe you?"

"P-please… let go…"

A little thud and shuffling of tiny feet grab the attention of both adults, sending worry down Cassidy's spine. She hoped it may have caused Derek to release his hold, but he tightens his grip and she whispers as a fear sets in.

"Mummy?" The sleepy little voice sounds out from the bedroom.

"I'll… I'll be r-right there, Bug." Cassidy manages to get out, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

"Mummy?" Cecelia utters again, clearly having not heard her mum's response, or not understanding it in her drowsy state.

"Stay in your room!" She shouts, shakiness and panic unavoidable at this point, as she hopes it goes unnoticed. Not just by her daughter. "Please, stay in there!"

She hears Cecelia shuffle back to bed, and her cheeks become wet, undoubtedly leaving long black marks as the tears drop.

"You… you need to leave." She mumbles, unsure if her words even left her lips, but desperately hoping they did.

"You think I'd want to stay?" Derek scoffs. He pushes against the arm he holds tightly, releasing it as she begins to stumble and falls to the floor, landing right where her phone did moments before. "No. It's over. I'm done with you."

She watches through blurred vision as he turns and exits the flat, shuddering as the door slams shut, and desperately hoping it doesn't draw her daughter out of her bed again.

With her legs out to her side, and her palms pressed against the floor to prop herself up, she feels anything but steady. How did she end up there? Obviously, she knows Derek pushed her down, but how did things get so bad, so quickly?

A single knock and the sound of the front door opening has her reaching for her phone and beginning to scramble to her feet.

"Cassidy, it's alright." She hears the soft voice of her next door neighbor try to reassure her, and she collapses back to the ground as Mrs. Clarkson's arms wrap around her shoulders, bringing her into a gentle embrace. "I heard the yelling, and the door slam shut."

"I'm… I'm sorr-"

"Sh. Sh. No need to be sorry. I wanted to make sure you're okay." A soft palm runs over Cassidy's hair and the peaceful gesture alerts her to her racing heart and labored breath.

"Cece… she woke… can you…"

"I'll go check on her." Mrs. Clarkson states, pushing herself up. "Is there someone you can call to come over?"

Cassidy nods, not having a specific person in mind, but giving the acknowledgement nonetheless. Her neighbor walks away, and as she hears the door quietly creak open, she turns her daze covered eyes to her device.

She sees her open messages, pressing the call button and holding the phone up to her ear.

"Uh oh. Is this a drunk dial? Or are you ringing to make more fun of me? Because I don't know if I can take much more tonight." Harry chuckles, and in any other situation, Cassidy knows she would be too.

"H-Harry…"

"Yes…?"

"I… I need…" She stutters, trying her hardest to voice any request, any thought, any comprehendible word to help him understand anything she's trying to say. Anything through the choked back wail that's threatening to push through.

"Cass… what is it? What's going on?" He asks, a concerned tone growing with each word.

"Derek… he…"

"What did he do? Where is he? Is he still there?" Shuffling can immediately be heard from the other end, and if Cassidy could put any extra thought into it, she would know he's putting shoes on.

"No." She whispers, feeling a mild amount of relief as she hears the beep of his car unlocking. But her breathing stays rapid and she clutches her chest with her free hand, as if to keep her heart in place.

"I'll be right there."

Her body begins to feel weak, her eyes begin to glaze over even more, and her hand drops down with a loose grasp on her phone. She hardly registers anything besides overwhelming dread and anxiety, though the feeling of her device leaving her hand can just barely be acknowledged. And then the faint sound of Harry's voice can ever so slightly be heard shouting through the speaker.

"Cass? Cass!"

"Hello?" Another voice speaks, gentle and calm, belonging to Mrs. Clarkson.

The muffled noise from their conversation fades into the background and Cassidy is left with the sound of her fast heartbeats and even faster breaths.

"It'll be alright. He's on his way." She hears beside her. "Harry's on his way."

[ flashback - May 2005 ]

Cassidy sits on her bed and giggles as she watches her best friend twirl around the room in one of the dresses they found in the closet.

"This one should work." Gemma asks, stopping her motions and posing in front of the full length mirror that is propped up against the wall. "You're sure you're okay with lending it to me?"

"Of course!" Cassidy exclaims. "That's what best friends are for."

"Exactly." Gemma winks in reflection, taking one last look at herself before turning around to face her friend. "I need to use the toilet, and I'll change in there too."

The noise of the bathroom door sounds out and Cassidy pushes herself off the mattress, bending down to begin tidying up the multitude of outfits that did not satisfy the specific look that Gemma was going for.

A sudden thud causes Cassidy to jump in place, and her happy, fun demeanor is replaced with anxiety as she hears two voices from the front of the house. From her mum and dad. That means, their happy, fun day is about to turn chaotic, and they need to get out of there. Fast.

"No, no, no."

She drops the clothes and bursts out of her bedroom to the door across the way, bringing her fist up to gently, but vigorously, knock on the wood.

"Gem." She whispers, keeping her words and actions as quiet as possible. "Gemma."

"Alright. Alright. Hold on." She hears in a response, an unknowingly chuckle accompanying the words.

"Gemma. We've… we've got to go."

The door swings open, and Cassidy sees her best friend's curious yet playful expression turn to one of concern as loud voices begin to fill the house.

"What's-"

She's not even sure what her main concern is at this moment, but what she does know is that she wants to get out of there. She needs to get out of there. They both do. She grabs her best friend's hand, motioning for her to keep quiet and begins to maneuver through the house to the back door, while the yelling only increases in volume and intensity.

As they arrive at their exit point, Cassidy's palm grips the doorknob, but she feels Gemma's hand squeeze her own as a sharp noise booms, quickly followed by quiet whimpers.

"You stupid cunt!" The deep voice of her father yells, accompanied by another sharp smack.

"Oh my god." Gemma whispers, and Cassidy's heart sinks as they sneak out of the house. She feels hurt, because she knows her mum is now in pain, and she feels embarrassed, because her best friend now knows it too.

They round the corner of the home, hands still gripped onto each other, and Cassidy lets out an exhausted, but relieved exhale as they reach the footpath out front.

"Umm, so…" She hears, turning to face her best friend, but unable to meet her gaze.

"That… that was awkward, right?" She chuckles, hoping to play it off as normal as possible. "Sorry you heard my parents… having a bit of a… a small disagreement…"

"That sounded like it was way more than a small disagreement, CJ." Gemma replies, her usual confidence taken over by compassionate caution.

"Oh, no. It was nothing."

"I heard him call her a… a cunt… and I heard him… hit her."

"It's… I mean, they just…" Cassidy sighs, choking back the tears in a last ditch effort to keep her composure, though she has the awareness that it's truly failing.

"CJ." Gemma mutters the statement of her name, and the dam breaks. Her hands fly up to her face, knowing her reaction has already been seen, yet still wanting to disappear into nothing. It's bad enough that those 'disagreements' even occur, but having her best friend hear it, know about it, makes it that much worse. And also, that much more real. When no one else knew, at least Cassidy could pretend it didn't happen at all, or that it was just a bad dream. But now? Now someone else knows, now she can't hide it, and now she has to face the truth.

"Please don't tell anyone."

"Well…" Gemma begins, grabbing her friend's shoulders. "I think we should… can I at least tell my parents? Maybe they'll, like, let you stay over."

Cassidy looks right at her best friend, practically her sister, and finds the sincerest and most compassionate of expressions she's ever come across. She can only imagine how much deeper they would be from Anne and Robin. Though the thought of anyone knowing her secret terrified her before, something about Gemma, Anne, and Robin knowing makes her feel at ease. If she wanted anyone to know, it would be them. The family she's basically growing up with now as her own.

"Okay." She agrees, feeling nervous yet comfortable with the decision. "Just, please, don't tell your brother."

[ present - August 2020 ]

Cassidy can't tell if it has felt like mere seconds, or a full hour since Derek had stormed out, so the new knock at the door sends a shiver over her body.

It creaks open, and Cassidy glances over from her spot on the sofa to see Mrs. Clarkson standing cautiously in the small gap she has made between the door and the frame.

"Hello." She states solemnly.

"Hi. I'm Harry." He replies quickly, almost an urgency to his greeting.

The neighbor nods and opens the space wide enough for him to enter the flat. As soon as Cassidy sees his short tousled curls, the small amount of sweat framing his face, and the terrified anger shooting through the greens of his eyes, her gaze immediately falls down to her pathetically shaky hands.

The fragrance of his cologne hits her first, swiftly followed by the warmth of his palms on her thighs.

"Cass." Harry exhales, lifting her chin with his finger, and she looks up to find his gaze flickering all over her face at a desperate speed. His fingers push her hair back on each side, and his thumbs brush over her skin as if searching for the answers. "Are you alright?"

Her brow furrows in uncertainty of how to answer. Sure, she is physically fine, despite the pending bruise that will most likely form from Derek's tight grip on her arm. But her heart, mind, and soul are in pieces. Not over Derek, per say. No, what hurts is the fact that this happened at all, that she let it happen, that she didn't see it coming in the first place. What hurts is that she has been in that situation before, years ago as a child, and still saw no signs in her most recent relationship. But what hurts the most, is the thought of what might have happened if her daughter had not stayed in her room.

"Cass. Breathe with me. Inhale for ten, remember?" His soft voice encourages, though the perceived gentle tone is wrapped with wavering confidence. "Cassidy… please, breathe with me."

Would Cecelia have seen what was happening, and understood? Would Derek have hurt her even more with her daughter present? Would he have hurt her daughter?

Pain and guilt strike every nerve in her body. She, of all people, should have seen signs. She, of all people, should have been able to avoid that situation. She, of all people, should have been able to keep that potential danger out of her child's life.

"C-... Cece…"

"Cece is fine. She's asleep. Mrs. Clarkson just checked on her before she left." She hears the words, though muffled by her racing thoughts. Warmth covers her cheeks again and her head begins to tilt by Harry's hand, raising her blurry gaze to find one of pure concern. "Cass, look at me. Cece is fine."

"I… let… let him… around her." She begins, eyes filling, unbelievably, with even more tears. "I let him… around my daughter!"

A silence fills the room, leaving only Harry's calm breaths left to encourage the regulation of her own. The heat on her cheeks travels to her hands, and she looks down to see them wrapped up in his.

"Inhale for ten." He whispers, taking a breath with her. "And let it out."

"I'm-"

"Please, love. Breathe." He demands in the most tender way, causing her gaze to shoot back up to his. "Breathe with me."

She nods, taking in air with Harry and holding it in as he holds her hands.

"I'm so… stupid." She states, releasing an exhale as she finally feels her lungs open and her chest release the tight hold it has around her heart.

"You're not stupid."

"I should have known." Her brow furrows, an anger towards herself rising to replace her panic as she catches more breaths. "And what's worse? I liked him. I mean… there were things that bugged me, things I questioned a little… but I kept seeing him!"

Harry's hands squeeze her own, so subtly, and she hears his throat clear as he pulls them away. His body moves around and takes a seat beside her, his elbows resting on his knees with his hands clasped together.

"You just… wanted someone… to share life with." He utters sombrely.

"The wrong someone."

"They're all 'the wrong someone' until we find the right one…" He states, a little chuckle following his words, clearly a little pleased with how philosophical his statement came across.

Cassidy releases an amused exhale and feels the tension of her body begin to loosen.

"And even then…" He adds, giving a small yet noticeable shrug. "Love is… complicated."

"I wasn't in love." She instantly replies, certain of that fact, even with the night's events aside. "I've… I've actually never been in love."

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Harry's posture straighten and his gaze shoot over to her.

"Really?"

She is unsure as to why, but his sudden reaction and the following question have her feeling embarrassment flood over her.

"Have you?"

"I think so." He replies, his hand reaching up and fingers readjusting the clip on his curls.

"Isn't that something you should know?" She asks, watching as his lips pull inward, and noticing something she has very rarely seen in him, if at all. Vulnerability.

"Is it really love if…" He releases a subtle sigh, and as she looks over, she sees him begin to twist his fingers of one hand around those of the other, as if his rings were still adorning them. "If… it's not reciprocated?"

Cassidy opens her mouth with nothing to say. She's never felt that way about somebody. Anybody. The relationship that should have been her example for love had all but destroyed the hopes she had for finding it. She may not even know how to do it properly. Then when Cecelia came along, there wasn't really a need for it. Though that is a different love. Nonetheless, she feels sad for Harry. Knowing how generous and caring he is with his friends and family, with her and Cecelia, she can only imagine how much more he would give to someone he felt that strongly for. And for it to not be returned? She's surprised he hasn't given up hope. She sure wants to, the little she even had to begin with.

"You… probably shouldn't ask me…" She utters, wrapping her arms around to hold herself, and staring down as her fingers gently run over the large red mark that's been left behind.

"Okay. I won't." He states suddenly, slapping his palms against his thighs and pushing himself off of the sofa. Cassidy looks up to him with surprise and curiosity, seeing the formation of a mischievous little smirk. "I'll make us some tea instead."

He walks into the kitchen, doing his best not to clang things around as he retrieves two tea cups from the cabinet and adds water to the kettle.

"You know what though? We're forgetting something…"

"And what's that?" Cassidy asks, repositioning herself to get him into view.

"We are married."

Her eyebrow instantly raises, and her eyes flicker all over the room in an attempt to gather some sort of clarification, though obviously unable to do so.

"I'm sorry… what?"

"Shit. I'm an idiot." He replies sheepishly, a pink hue evident under the kitchen lights. "Of course, you don't remember."

"Remember what?" She inquires, only to be met with a timid shake of his head as the colour on his cheeks grows brighter. "Clue me in, Harry."

"Nope, there's been too many trips down memory lane recently, most at my expense."

"No, you have to tell me! Please?" She asks, channeling the sweetest her daughter uses whenever she needs persuasion to tip the scales in her favour.

He closes his eyes and pulls his lips inward, and Cassidy can't help but giggle under her breath as she watches him prepare to respond.

"Alright. Well, one afternoon, when we were kids… you and Gem were playing fairies." He shares, followed by a sort of grunt as he takes in a breath to divulge more. "Gem wanted to have this elaborate fairy wedding, so she made you the princess… the bride… but you needed a groom. So she found me and-"

"Dressed you up to be the fairy prince!" Cassidy exclaims, immediately covering her mouth in an effort to quiet her new excitement. "I do remember now! Didn't she put glitter all over your face?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't remember that specific detail…" He gripes, pouring the hot water into the cups, and lifting them as he starts to walk back to the sofa. He hands the hot beverage to Cassidy, and carefully lowers himself back down next to her, taking a sip of his tea before resting it down on the table in front of him.

"Well, the wedding was pretty magical." She states. Harry lifts his head, turning it slightly towards her with a proud smile stretched across his face.

"Bit of a rocky marriage though." He points out, and Cassidy's jaw drops dramatically as she swats his arm, causing his hands to be thrown up in surrender.

"That's because the prince was, and still is, kind of a twat."

Harry mimics her offended reaction, his hand flying to this against his chest, as if physically pained by her insult.

"The princess is still kind of a pain in the ass herself."

"Well, thank goodness it wasn't official!"

"Umm, excuse me, but if I remember correctly, the ceremony was done with a magic wand." He states, so matter-of-fact. "That's binding."

"Oh bloody hell." She replies, pinching the bridge of her nose, annoyed but mostly amused by the declaration.

"You're stuck with me, Cass." Harry grins, most likely from his perceived triumph of the argument, yet Cassidy can't help but feel as if he is happy with the sentiment as well. With the notion that she has to put up with him and have him around, in some capacity, forever.

She wants to lean into her instincts and make some jab about how she regrets ever putting on the fairy tutu Gemma had made her wear. But as she focuses on the green of his eyes, she feels a heat run up her neck and hit the apples of her cheeks. She's flattered by his desire to continue to be friends throughout the rest of their lives, and she has to agree that she wants the same. Despite all of their childhood torment of each other, he truly has become one of her best friends, and she can't really envision him not being around. For her and for Cecelia.

A sudden thud from the corridor outside of her flat causes Cassidy's gaze to shoot over to the front door, her lungs to gasp, her arm to swiftly stretch out to her side, and her hand to latch right onto Harry's thigh.

"Hey, it's alright." She hears him say softly, her eyes unable to focus on anything but the front door. One strong, warm palm sets on top of hers, the other begins to run up and down her back, tearing her gaze away and back onto the man beside her. The friend beside her. "You're alright."

She feels her expression go from panicked to pained, and she feels hot tears trickling down her cheeks. Another feeling, an odd feeling, begins to overwhelm her, as if her body is being pulled between alarmed tension and settled ease. The noise outside has clearly triggered an unfortunately familiar response, and yet somehow it is also being so effortlessly drawn to a comforted state. By Harry.

"Would you like me to stay for a bit? We can watch a show or something."

Cassidy nods, still feeling the adrenaline coursing through her veins, though the intensity is decreasing as she watches Harry's caring gaze stay fixed on her, almost displaying relief with her unspoken response.

"Okay, then." He replies, pulling his lips inward, attempting to disguise a small smile that still manages to peek through by the corners of his mouth. He leans forward, grabbing the remote, and settling back into the cushions as he turns the television on.

Cassidy watches him while he scrolls, and something about such a mundane moment begins to bring her a slight amount of peace. She realizes that he seems to be one of the people, one of only a few people, who does that for her. Who actually can do that for her. And she needs all the peace she can get right now.

"Harry?" She practically whispers.

"Yes?" He replies, the light of the screen brightening his face and reflecting in his eyes as he scrolls through the viewing options.

"Would… would you… maybe, also…" She utters, clearing her throat to gain some volume, and confidence, for her next request. "Stay the night?"

His head immediately turns to her, his eyes wide, yet leaving her unable to determine what emotion is behind them. What thoughts could be causing them to react that way.

"Of course I will!" He exclaims, and more tears start to gather on her lash line at how quickly he answered, and how willing he is to do what she wants. What she needs.

He turns away, reaching to the other side of him, and twists back with one of her large blankets in hand. Cassidy scoots closer to Harry as he holds it up for her, allowing him to place the blanket on both of their laps. His arm stretches behind her on the back on the sofa, and without thinking, she leans into him, the movement of their adjustments causing her senses to be hit with his scent. It's the same as it's always been, but tonight it includes an increased, soothing element.

A few muffled noises outside momentarily grab her attention, her head slightly pointing in the direction of their origin on the other side of her front door. She lets out an exhale, louder than intended, and then feels the slightest squeeze around her shoulders.

"Are you alright? Comfortable?"

"As much as I can be, I suppose." She chuckles, accompanied by a scoff of disappointment and frustration, wishing she was able to truly calm down.

"You can… sit back up if you need to…" He utters, and she feels him begin to slowly pull away. "I can grab another blanket, or-"

She sits up, but only slightly, and only so she can meet the green eyes that are now filled with concern and uncertainty.

"No, it's not that. I just… I just don't know if I'll be able to relax fully here." She responds with a sigh, acknowledging that the events of the evening have taken their toll on her physical and mental state.

"Stay with me, then."

"What?"

"Come stay at my place."

"Harry, it's way too late." She states, confused as to his thought process behind the suggestion. "And Cece is sleeping."

"Not tonight." He replies, a bit of amusement to his tone. "Tomorrow. Pack up some things for the both of you, and just spend a few days there."

"I don't know. I don't want to impose-"

"You're not. I offered." He interrupts, seemingly annoyed yet entertained by her attempt to not inconvenience him, despite his constant reminders that she's not. This situation just feels a bit different for her. He's not responsible for making this situation any better. Yet, here he is, doing just that.

"And it's very sweet." She smiles, unintentionally, and feels a heat on her cheeks as he smiles back. "But also unnecessary. We'll be okay."

"Truth be told… I need it." He begins, bringing his balled up fist to his mouth as he clears his throat. "I won't be able to fully relax, unless I can see it… see that you're okay."

Cassidy is instantly hit with so many things at once. Her lips shut tight as she tries to swallow the lump that has instantly formed in her throat, her face tingles with the vibrant blush that has suddenly spread from her cheeks, and her abdomen tightens with something she can't quite understand.

"It would help me." He utters, a sudden timidity taking over the confidence he first used with his suggestion. "You don't have to."

"Well-" She tries to speak.

What is this feeling? What is going on in the pit of her stomach?

"But I'd like you to."

It's butterflies.

"Okay." She accepts, feeling her heart race with positivity, for the first time tonight. "If you insist."

Series Masterlist

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