#finally think I have the premise and general direction I want to go far

[yung-goos]

Horizon | Prologue

"so... I've been meaning to tell you something”

The summer breeze was cool. A pleasant and welcoming feeling, as the day was still hot and humid, despite the sun going down. The lights of the city's skyline begun to bloom, like a line of tall Christmas trees in the distance. The bench they sat on still containing their names they etched-in when they found this spot in highschool, several miles from downtown off the coast of the lake that kissed the cities borders. This was their favourite spot. To hangout. To think. To reflect. To celebrate. To cry. It was one of the only consistent things that they both had throughout their lives.

"Uh huh..."

"I... know I've been gone for some time-"

"You think?"

"...and I know I have a lot of explaining to do"

"Oh really?"

"Look... it's easier if I just... show you"

With an unsteady motion, they lifted the sleeve of their hoody to the elbow, exposing their forearm, and held it out in front of them. And just like that, their skin started to glow. From the fingertips, down the back of their hand, down the wrists, slowly encroaching on the entire arm. The glow contrasting the blackness of their skin, like embers on coal, with a deep yellow-white light, a light many would describe as holy. The pupils and sclera of their eyes enveloped with the same holy light. They looked over to their friend to see them with their hand covering their eyes. The glow dimmed, then stopped all together, returning their skin and eyes to normal.

"Oh. My bad. Should've warned you..."

Silence. Only several seconds or so, but feeling like minutes in the moment. Their friend slowly lowering their hand, revealing a puzzled, yet curious, deeply scared, yet deeply amazed, mouth a little open kind of look on their face. It was hard to tell what they were thinking.

"What just..."

"Yea."

More silence.

"So this was what you were up to?"

"Heh. 'Up to' is one way of putting it"

Their friend then swiftly adjusting their position, turning to directly face them, with their legs crossed in their lap, the expression on their face suddenly becoming stern and serious.

"Everything. Now."

"Right."

And so, they gave them everything, from the last time they spoke. From the inconsistent eating habits, to the overall deterioration of their mental state. From the uneventful days, to yet another melancholic, sleepless night. From the streak of light that suddenly appeared from the sky and seemingly landing in their backyard. To them going to investigate and being greeted by a sphere of light that "just.... floated there". From them pacing back and forth wondering what they should do, "should I touch it?", to them actually touching it. From them describing an experience that would be akin to the likes of hell. The pain that felt like they were being separated cell by cell, atom by atom. Head, body, and limbs contorting to inhuman positions. Head twisting 180 degrees like an owl, ribs protruding and bending in different directions, but somehow not piercing the skin. Limbs bent backwards, sideways, in and out. Feeling so hot like they were being thrown into the face of the sun, yet feeling so cold like they were being submerged in the waters of Antarctica. Not being able to see anything but an empty vast white space of nothing. Wanting to scream the entire time but physically not being able to. From them waking up in the backyard to the morning sun on their face, their skin feeling all tingly. To them thinking if all of that was some bizarre dream, "maybe I started sleep walking or something I don't know". From them beginning to notice strange phenomena, like their light bulb that died and yet still turned on in their hands when they picked it up. To them being freaked out when their vision in the dark seemed to be clear as day when they focused hard enough.

"So that's what it is. Light, right? That's the power you possess?"

"Maybe. I think. Or perhaps energy"

"Energy.... Energy."

Their friend hanging on that word. Slowly saying it over and over to themselves, possibly savouring how that sounds, or thinking of the endless possibilities this power could hold.

"Also think I can't die"

"Wait, what?"

"Yea."

"But... wait... how would you kn-..."

Silence. Letting out a big sigh, they slumped over the bench and put their head in their hand, rubbing their temple with their forefingers and thumb. Their friend placing a hand on their back, gently rubbing it back and forth.

"Hun, why?"

"Just..."

Their head still in their hand, shaking it back and forth now,

"I.. didn't mention the voice"

"Voice?"

"Yea, as I was being skinned and turned inside out. I... wasn't sure if I was hearing it right. I couldn't see anything, that's for sure. It was just... this big empty room... a space... I don't know, a void of just pure whiteness. Stretching as far as I could see. And there was this... voice. It sounded like... I don't know, an alien trying to communicate in English. Like a bunch of incoherent words and syllables mish-mashed together, but if I paid enough attention I could make some sense of it ya know? And then, very clearly, I heard the voice say three things: convert. nine nine. survive."

"Convert, ninety nine, survive..."

"Yea. After I woke up, I was so confused and out of it I didn't think too much of it. But the more I thought about it, about all that happened, those words... the pain. Oh god. The pain. I cannot even begin to describe to you how it felt. God just. The pain. And then I started to think, is this what the voice meant? I'd have to survive this pain again at some point in time? Would it happen more than once? And just. God. I couldn't do that again. I can't do that again. So I just..."

Another sigh. Tears began swelling in their eyes. As they went to wipe them from their face, their friend pulled them in for a hug, using the palm of their hand to wipe the tears away

"Oh, hun."

That warmth. That sensual, intoxicating, tender warmth. The warmth that enveloped you and made you feel safe. The warmth that excited every sense, the warmth you couldn't just feel, but also hear, smell, taste, see. The warmth that many have lost themselves to just for the sake of experiencing it for just a moment. Love. It has been so long since they felt it.

"I'm... sorry I didn't keep in touch with you. I just didn't want you to see me like this. To hear all of this"

"Are you kidding? At the end of the day, my only concern was that you were okay. And like.. My best friend is a fucking superhero. With fucking super powers. Why wouldn't I want to hear about that?"

"Superhero?"

"Yea, what else would you do with all that going on? Be an accountant?"

They let out a laugh from the gut "Yea, maybe. Who knows? I could save the world from potential tax fraud"

"Well you're in luck cuz theres no shortage of fake bitches out here"

They lost themselves amongst the banter and the laughter, the sun finally laying itself to rest in the midst of it all. It was now dark, and being a little ways away from the nearest path with street lights, it was getting hard to see. The holy light once again enveloped their hand

"Come, I'll lead us back"

"Aww see, look at you using your powers for good already"

They couldn't help but crack a smile "Oh stop."

They headed back through the creek that leads to their special little spot, a trodden dirt path that was made overtime by other fellow adventurers trying to take a shortcut to the shore nearby. The cool summer breeze died down, replaced by the symphony of the night. The cacophony of crickets, the soothing rhythm of the stream, the percussion of the tree branches rustling above. It was oddly silent, though, between the two of them. They looked over to their friend, their friend's brows furrowed, face now deep in concentration, staring off into space as if they're looking for something in the air. Their eyes darting back and forth, clearly putting two and two together. About what, exactly?

"Hey, so.."

"What is it?"

"You said you don't die. So like, meaning you're immortal?"

"I... guess so, huh"

"But like... survive. What could an immortal possibly have to survive? You're immortal"

Both of them stopped in their tracks, looking at each other, waiting for the other to give a possible answer.

"So you get it, huh. It's what been at the back of my mind since I came to in my backyard. Though, If it's anything like the pain I had to endure I...I don't know what I might do"

Their friend, not being able to think of an answer either, shook their head and sighed. They continued on.

"Well, I don't know what it possibly could be, or what will happen next, but knowing that someone like you was chosen for this power makes me feel much safer already"

"Really?"

"Of course. Could you imagine anybody else getting this power? The world would be more fucked than we already are"

"Huh... guess you could be right"

"Oh please, you know I am. Just, whatever does happen, make sure you saving my ass first, okay?"

They chuckled, "Of course"

They smiled back, "You know, despite it all, something tells me there's so much good waiting for you over the

Horizon."

#writes #finally think I have the premise and general direction I want to go far #and I'm really just #UGHHH so ready to start actually writing #this is my first attempt at trying to write #so sorry if anyone actually reads this and its bad #writing is by far one of my worst subjects #am sowwy ;-; #from now on tho I'll leave these lil rough drafts in the “writes” tag #ALSO the use of they for both is because I only have a vague idea of gender of the characters in this one bit #like I think I know who they'll be but I like #really wanted to be able to write this section in a way where the characters genders are completely in the air #(spoiler alert: cuz the reveal of who these characters are is relevant to the eventual world building and plot) #but like.. I COMPLETELY lack the literary skills to pull that off well #UGHHH

[seriouslycromulent]

What I've Been Up To (Larroquette love)

A couple of weeks ago, I started watching a lot of films and TV shows centered around John Larroquette. This is not out of character, of course. If you've visited my blog before, you might know I spent a fair amount of time gushing over him in 2022 after I finally made my way through The Librarians series for the first time, and followed it with a re-watch of the original Night Court.

After that, I watched him in Boston Legal, only to get sucked into a vortex of awesomeness called James Spader. (What can I say? Like most nerds, I have an obsessive personality.)

I've since left that rabbit hole, and leapt into a few others throughout 2023. And now I'm back to gushing over JL.

Maybe it's the new Night Court TV series. Maybe it's the overwhelming increase in great fanfiction that I've come across recently. Maybe it's because the world seems to be constantly on fire and I need a salve to help soothe my psyche. Maybe it's a combo of all 3.

Either way, I'm still leaning in, and I just want to thank my fellow nerds for sharing sources and leads on where I can find more Larroquette goodness. I'm not blowing smoke here either. I truly appreciate this.

Not only because I'm slowly running out of things to watch, but because it's nice to know there are others out there who see what I see in him. You don't know how rare that is.

Anywho! Back to geeking out. Here is a rundown of films, TV shows and TV mini-series-esque things that I've watched starring JL in the past 4 weeks:

* Walter and Henry (watched on Tubi) It was ok. I didn't dislike it. I am a fan of James Coburn and it was nice to see John play a saxophone. I remember him mentioning that he played reed instruments in his musician days back in NOLA. So I'm going to assume that he didn't have to take lessons to sell those scenes.

* Some of the McBride film series (watched on trial version of UP Faith & Family streaming service) These weren't bad. Somewhat Hallmark-y, but I would actually like to see the rest of them, especially the ones JL directed. But about 4 or 5 of them aren't available for streaming, and those include the ones he directed. The ones I saw include - - McBride: Anybody Murder Marty? - McBride: Tune in for Murder - McBride: It's Murder, Madam - McBride: The Chameleon Murder - McBride: Murder Past Midnight

* Camera Store (watched on Tubi) I know JL said in an interview that he didn't like shooting this film, but I thought it was really thought-provoking. You can tell by the reviews on IMDB that some people didn't like the slow burn of the story. But for those of us who like day-in-the-life character pieces, it was very well done. One person described it as a modern-day Death of a Salesman. And I'd say that's pretty accurate. It's definitely not for everyone, but it's certainly worth a watch.

* The 10th Kingdom (watched on Amazon Prime) I think this miniseries was a big deal back when it came out in 2000, but I never saw it. I'm not sure why because I've always been a big fan of fantasy. However, now that I've seen it, I can't say I loved it all that much. So maybe that's why I didn't watch it back in the day. I think it had a great premise, and I loved how they wove a lot of different fairy tales into one big story that played out over 10 episodes (or five 90-min episodes on Amazon).

But I think I had trouble trying to figure out who the audience was supposed to be for this. I'm guessing they wanted it to be for the whole family, but some of the dialogue skewed far older at times and it left me wondering the rest of the series. Especially when it came to things on the topic of virginity, infidelity, and sexuality in general. It was just every now and then, the characters would say something that made me go, "What was the TV rating on this again?!" Also some of the scenes between JL and his daughter were incredibly dramatic, but very out-of-place with the rest of the series' tone. They were good scenes, but it's like it became a completely different series for like 20 minutes. But ... oh well. I'm glad I saw it and can now reference it in the future.

* Wedding Daze (watched on UP Faith & Family) Talk about Hallmark-y! Well, I think this one actually was a Hallmark movie to be fair. The subject matter definitely wasn't my cup of tea, but overall, the cast wasn't bad. Well ... JL, Karen Valentine, French Stewart, and the actors who played the daughters weren't bad. Everyone else was kinda ... m'eh. But it's not bad if you like these types of stories. Interestingly, one of the actors who played one of his daughters (Jaime Ray Newman) also played opposite him in one of the McBride films. It was the McBride: Murder Past Midnight one. In it, she actually came on to JL's character at one point in the story. I looked it up. She shot the Wedding Daze film first, so the McBride role came later. I'm sure that scene was interesting to shoot. All in all, I can't say I recommend Wedding Daze though.

* Chuck, ep. 202 and ep. 414 (watched on Amazon Prime) I've heard about these episodes for years, but I never took the time to check them out because I wasn't a big fan of Chuck. I basically gave up halfway through the 1st season. But for the love of JL, I made myself watch these 2 episodes where he guest starred as super spy Roan Montgomery. And what can I say? They weren't bad. I actually enjoyed them for the most part. It was also fun to see Lesley Ann Brandt playing another sexy badass. (Methinks, she's been typecast.) I also imagine John probably liked playing the scenes where he was tied up. To be fair, he probably enjoyed the whole thing. He looked like he was having fun pretty much the whole time. Still not a fan of the show though.

* Sanford and Son, ep. 505 (watched via a link provided by another fan) Having grown up on reruns of this show, I loved learning that JL was a part of it, even if it was early in his career and he probably has very little memory of it. After I watched it, I told my mom about it, and she said she remembered that episode after all these years. So that episode definitely had some staying power for a young actor, I think. I mean, how many actors can say they played a white version of Lamont Sanford? LOL! It was a funny episode that kind of gave you a behind-the-scenes look at what the TV soundstages of the 1970s used to look like. Plus, it had Robert Guillaume in it too. Thank you fellow JL fan for sharing it!

---

OK. That's it for now. As I mentioned before, I don't have a lot left to watch that's available featuring our guy. Madhouse and Richie Rich are both on Tubi, but I saw those back in the '90s when they came out, and I don't really think they warrant a rewatch.

There are a lot of things in the shared folder I could enjoy, but I'd have to download them and I don't know if my computer memory can take it. Which sucks because I'd really like to watch Baa Baa Black Sheep. My mom remembers that show too. We'll see what I decide next.

I'm sure I'll land on something else before this obsession quietly gives way to another one in a month or so. Until then, watch this space face.

#john larroquette #fandom

[jazz-bazz]

the lab coat au brainrot be brainrotting, i had class today and i keep thinking of alpha as my prof… i walk through my building and i keep thinking of sunny getting lost… so here we have sunshine and mountain‘s first meeting, yay!

Flower Bookmarks

Friday afternoons are usually reserved for pack, Mountain usually got lunch with the others and then near the end of the work day they usually gather in an empty classroom to play some boardgames, Catan is a group favourite for some reason, or maybe because it’s the only one they have here on campus, and then usually they’d end the day at Zenith, where they’d watch Zephyr play and Swiss sing, Aether loosening up with his boyfriend Copia, owner and bartender of Zenith, after a whole day of quantum equations and whatever, and also watching Rain and Dew pining over each other obliviously.

But this Friday is unusual, Mountain couldn’t get lunch with the pack, he had some problems with his reaction and had to redo it, also he probably wouldn’t be able to join the board game session if he wanted to at least isolate something today, and then maybe he’ll have enough time to evaporate the solvent and take an NMR spectrum of the isolated substance that he can work on on the weekend and report to Cumulus on Monday.

He finally has about 2 hours to get something to eat, while his reaction is cooking and Swiss said he’s going to keep an eye on it while Mountain is out. So here he is, on his way to Caféine in hopes of some muffins or bagels, if there are any left, if not then Terzo’s diner it is, even though it’s going to take longer and he’s still anxious about his reaction.

He was still thinking if he should’ve used a different catalyst for this one, when suddenly someone bumped into him. It’s a woman, ghoulette too, judging by her scent and the slight magic he sensed, though he can’t pinpoint the element, so maybe a multi ghoulette? In any case, she’s someone he’s never seen before, with curly bright orange hair, who was apparently also distracted by something on her phone, “Oh my, I’m so sorry, are you okay?” The tiny woman said.

“No harm done, I was also not paying attention,” Mountain shrugged, “Anyways, have a good day!”

“Wait a second, could I ask you a question, I’m kinda new here.”

“Oh, sure! Shoot! I’m Mountain by the way, earth if it’s not obvious from the name,” Mountain smiled.

“I’m Sunshine, or Sunny, air and fire, and I’m looking for Professor Alpha’s room, I’m supposed to meet him in about 10 minutes and I’ve been going around and around looking for his room, mind telling me where it is?”

“I could show you, c’mon,” Mountain said while walking in the direction of the physchem section of the building, “So, physical chemistry huh? PhD or Master?”

“Master, and yeah, his research sounds interesting and not that far from what I did for my Bachelor’s so… here I am. And thank you so much, Mountain.”

“Not a problem, I’ve been needing some distractions today. It’s been a long day and nothing is working yet.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, do you also work here?”

“Yeah, I’m doing my PhD research under Professor Cumulus, you were in the organic chemistry section before, no Professor Alpha over there,” Mountain smirked.

“Stop it,” Sunshine laughed, “This is barely even my first day here, and the internet page is not helping at all.”

“I don’t think they’ve updated it since ages ago,” Mountain said with a chuckle, “And here we are, Alpha’s office.”

“Oh, again, thank you so much, Mountain!”

“If the meeting doesn't take too long and you’re free afterwards, would you maybe be interested in getting lunch with me? Not like a date or something, but just friends you know? I could show you a few things around campus and, yeah, something like that,” Mountain stammered with a blush high on his cheeks.

“Sure, I think we’re just gonna talk about my schedule for next week and the general premise of what I will be doing, so maybe 10 to 15 minutes? Is that okay or are you in a rush?”

“No, no that’s fine, I don’t have anything urgent unless my reaction explodes or something, but my friend is keeping an eye there. Go, Alpha doesn’t like it when people are late.”

“Oh right, thank you!”

Mountain waited outside Alpha’s office while fiddling on his phone, annoying Swiss by asking him about his reaction, even though they both know it’s fine, Mountain followed all the steps carefully and it’s not gonna explode or anything. Just then Omega walks by, a bit surprised to see Mountain in the physchem area, “Hi Mountain, fancy seeing you here.”

“Oh, hi Meg, Alpha gets a new ghoul and she got lost in our area, so I took her here and we are going to get lunch to get to know each other because she’s new and all, and I didn’t get lunch with the others earlier.”

“Huh,” Omega nodded, “Reaction problems?” He asked, earning a nod from Mountain, “Well good luck with that, and with the lady. Have a nice date! I’ll tell Dew and Aether not to disturb you.”

“Thanks! Wait, what? It’s not a date Meg!” But Omega is already walking away, back to his own office.

#lab coat au #bex keysmash #sunshine ghoulette #mountain ghoul #sunny mountain #ghost fics #my lab supervisors actually played catan during lab hours wkwkw

[alaskanexile]

A friend of mine came to me a week ago with this peculiar idea of an alt history where the Soviets cloned the M16 instead of adopting the AK-74. She acknowledges the entire premise is silly but it's for fun so who cares. Basically, she was looking for input on what changes they'd make too it.

We went back and forth a fair bit. She did take my input seriously and conceded certain points, namely there was no way the Soviets would keep the bolt release and would want to incorporate the dovetail rail on the side to make use of their preexisting scopes. That being said, there were a fair few she didn't agree with at all so i decided to say fuck it and design both her final design and then my own take.

Her rifle is the TKB-174, the Dzyubenko Proposal from the Tula Arsenal. My take is the TKB-175, the Vendal Proposal from Ishevsk.

In general i feel she was...overly optimistic about the Soviets material realities or willingness to change. I didn't color them because I didn't feel like it, but her 174 variant features full polymer furniture.

In the 70s.

Look, I'm aware of the Soviets use of polymers. i know about the green border guard AKMs, but those were limited and uncommon. If the Soviets were capable of mass production of polymer furniture for their mainline rifles in the 1970s, don't you think the AK-74 would have had it? It wasn't even some kind of trad disinterest in polymer because muh wood. They attempted a program to add as many Bakelite parts to the AK in the 50s or 60s to make it lighter, going so far as to make the dust cover plastic! This ultimately failed of course, Bakelite is fairly fragile, but It's the whole reason the AKM and 74 had Bakelite pistol grips!

So the 175 has wood furniture. The reality is it wouldn't be till the 80s till we'd start seeing mass produced polymer furniture in that lovely plum color.

She made an attempt to maintain the Soviet manual of arms, particularly for reloading, by moving the latch of the AR's T shaped charging handle to the right side. (Soviet reloading technique was to do everything with the right hand.) This feels contrived and like it wouldn't really do much, so i just made the 175 into a weird cludge of an AK into an ARs form factor.

Her lower is aluminum. I don't think the Soviets would bother with aluminum due to cost and not caring much about the weight. So my lower is stamped metal.

Basically, she's conceived a largely straight forward AR-15 clone with some Slavic flair. I've conceived a rifle that's attempting to be as cheap as possible while being an AK with extra steps.

I'm not sure if this was part of a larger project of hers or just a thought experiment, but to make this somewhat useful to me i have made these kind of canon to Følslava.

Within Følslavas lore, these were developed and proposed alongside the AK-74. Dzyubenkos 174 was rejected due to high per unit cost, being too radical a change as well as not wanting to use an American design, and concerns over the Direct impingement gas system in cold climates. Vendals 175 was rejected for just being kind of weird and ugly and not offering anything an AK couldn't do. The timeline proceeded as normal from here with the adoption of the AK-74.

the 174 and 175 were filed away in the arsenals archives and largely forgotten about for a few decades. They would eventually be brought to the publics attention in the 2040s, when a prominent firearms historian and online video maker was granted access to these archives and made a series on these strange curiosities.

#alaskan surplus #setting: Følslava #concept art #digital art #gun art #alt history #firearms design #long post

[startrekexplained]

The potential Spock two parter we could have gotten on Enterprise

Star Trek: Enterprise (or just Enterprise, as it was originally called) is an interesting series. A prequel set 100 years before TOS and 200 years before the TNG era of series, it had a very mixed at best reception when it first aired, and of course was cancelled due to low ratings during its fourth season, making it the first series since TOS to not end voluntarily. But it's been re-evaluated by a lot of fans in recent years and while it usually doesn't rank near the top of peoples lists, there's a general consensus now that the series wasn't "that bad" and even had some pretty good episodes, at least near the end. I'm personally a fan of the series, warts and all. But as good as I think the fourth season is, when it finally embraced the prequel concept it ran away from in its three previous seasons, it could have been even better if certain episode ideas had come to fruition, and I'm going to talk about one such episode(s).

A lot of fans know there was a shakeup in the fourth season, with co-creators Rick Berman and Brannon Braga effectively standing aside for a new showrunner, Manny Coto, who turned the direction of the show around from its weird half prequel/half sequel premise into a genuine prequel to all the series that came before it, but particularly TOS. While this did change reception somewhat with fans and critics at the time of its airing, it wasn't enough to change its ratings decline, so we never got even one more season with this new direction, which is a real shame.

There was an attempt to grab ratings though, by getting William Shatner himself to guest star in a two parter about Mirror Kirk and the creation of the Mirror Universe. Shatner pitched the story himself (written by Judith and Garfield Reeves Stevens, who worked with him on the Shatnerverse novels) and it was well received by Coto, Braga and Berman but apparently Paramount was not willing to pay the modest fee Shatner was asking for the appearance and thus the plans were cancelled. The story pitch, IMO, was quite good so it's a real shame we didn't get to see this two parter but I actually don't want to talk about that today, I'll leave that for another post. Instead I want to talk about another two parter suggestion, that almost no one talks about but would have made for, potentially anyway, an excellent two parter and perhaps even a far superior series finale than what we actually ended up getting.

Mike Sussman, one of the lead writers of ENT, pitched a possible two parter in the event Shatner couldn't be convinced to guest star on ENT involving Leonard Nimoy guest starring instead as Spock. The pitch was inspired by an episode (Mystery of the Blues) from The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles where Harrison Ford guest starred in a framing story about adventures in his youth. Leonard Nimoy would guest star in a similar capacity.

In this episode, Spock would be a distinguished and retired ambassador in the 24th Century, and he would be visited by a young Human/Vulcan hybrid in Starfleet who's seeking guidance for balancing his two alien halves. Spock would then retell a story about how, in the early 23rd Century he met T'Pol, who's a legend by the 24th Century and how he assisted her on a vitally important mission involving the retired NX-01 crew stealing the old NX Enterprise from the fleet museum for one last mission. During this mission, Spock would learn important lessons with the audience learning a lot of new information on Spock. Most importantly, Spock would learn during the course of the episodes to reconcile his desire to be a diplomat like his father and his desire for a career in Starfleet. Overall it would be something of a passing of the torch from ENT to TOS.

I don't know about you, but while this pitch isn't that detailed, and the story would have obviously needed a lot of ironing out from pitch to script, the idea is very strong and it could have potentially been one of the best Spock stories and definitely one of the best ENT episodes. It really is a missed opportunity, and what comes to mind is the Spock two parter in TNG "Unification" which served as a tie-in to Star Trek VI, which is one of my personal favorite TNG episodes and Spock stories. This potentially could have been ENT's version of that. While not pitched as a series finale, it also would have easily been far more suitable as that than "These Are The Voyages".

So what happened to this pitch? Obviously it was rejected, but I couldn't find any reason why. Presumably Leonard Nimoy either wasn't interested or wasn't even approached about it after Paramount rejected Shatner's modest pay demands to appear on ENT, and the only reason we even know about this is because Mike Sussman posted the memo pitching this to his twitter in 2016. I couldn't even find mentions of this pitch outside Memory Alpha. One wonders how many other great ideas were pitched and haven't been revealed.

#Spock #star trek #enterprise #t'pol

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL - Lots of comfort hugs & car kisses

June 2022 Wk 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Triage (AISplay Mon) Ep 5-6 - This is not just a time loop show anymore. The way they’re unfolding this narrative is more like a mystery. And so far that aspect is working better for me than the actual mystery did in sister-show Manner of the Death. This drama keeps improving every new ep, which I didn’t expect from a groundhog day premise, they usually get more dull not more exciting, it’s smart, I like that. Also Fiat blond is v cute. 

Dear Doctor, I'm Coming for Soul (iQIYI Weds) Ep 11 - Metha is finally on their side to uncover the sins of the past and expose the bad guy who defamed daddy. Redemption arc! Meanwhile, side dishes got an “around the back of head not at all a kiss” kiss. I haven’t seen that from Thailand since Make it Right! Retro “we not gay” camera action used because the actors aren’t comfortable with each other. Tut tut. 

Sky in Your Heart (Fri YouTube) Ep 1 - Is it derivative? Yes. Do I care? No. There’s so much Thai stuff these days, that I think we’re going to get more & more works that derive more & more plots from previous successful shows. So, yeah, this is basically Tale of Thousand Stars only shorter run and faster paced. And I’m not mad about it. So far I like this 2nd installment in the series a lot better than Star. I think this story is cleaner, the characters better portrayed, the conflict more understandable, and in general it feels more mature. Also I guess this should be added to my short list of BL‘s that are told from the seme’s perspective? Linguistically: these two are formal with each other using pom/khun. 

KinnPorsche (iQIYI Sat) Ep 9 - Big is my favorite best boy, but he's getting so much screen time for so little plot-use payout there’s a good chance he’s the mole. Meanwhile, Pete is sent into the viper’s den. I liked that this episode was mostly manipulations and plot. I think Tawan is a good character, well cast. So for me this was one of the better episodes we’ve had. On Wik & Chay as a couple, I’m going to be controversial with this statement: It was a mistake to switch out Gameplay. He and Jeff just have MUCH better chemistry together. I suspect they did it because they wanted a younger, more innocent looking actor for Chay, but these two just aren’t working for me as a couple. I get nothing from them and they don’t seem much connected to the rest of the show, either. I never thought I’d say this about a Jeff plot line, but, its boring me. 

Close Friend 2 (Viki Thur) Ep 5 - Pierce finally comes out, and it goes as smoothly as expected. Workplace homophobia and further conflict still abound though. It’s fine, well acted and directed, just not really my kinda plot. 

My Secret Love (YouTube Sat) Ep 2 - Being forced by a university to be a BL couple is ABSURD, but it is giving them permission to lampoon tropes which I kinda enjoy. Otherwise it’s VERY awkward with poor chemistry across the board. I do not like the lead couple, tom/jerry is one of my least favorite dynamics (it always seems mean spirited). I already have 2nd lead syndrome and he hasn’t even really been introduced. So far the leads remind me of My Boy (which I DNFd) X BonDuen from My Engineer (who I dislike). I prefer the sides. Specifically the closeted LTR couple (Longa & ?) they use rao/ter together, which I find VERY cute. (Look, the names are hard since what I am seeing in captions isn’t in the MDL listing.) I’ve watched worse BLs for better side couples before (cough cough Brothers), so we shall see how this goes... 

Thai BL - Finished this week! 

La Cuisine (GaGa Sat) Ep 13fin - Honestly, I enjoyed it but it is awful slow. Thank goodness GaGa has 1.5x speed option. It also takes the faen fatale archetype to the next level of extreme evil. Everyone got a cute couple ending, even characters I didn’t really recognize, couldn’t remember, or showed no chemistry. But hey, shrug. Also, Sky & Phai = unexpectedly great kiss. Why did we not get their thread (and Kitty’s for that matter) throughout the show? It would’ve helped with the pacing a lot. (Honestly, these two actors probably should’ve played the leads, IMHO). In the end, la cuisine is sweet and kind of pure and like Thai desserts perhaps a little too time-consuming for the Layperson. Because of the pacing and the focus on the bad girl character, I did dock it a point. But if you like stuff in the Oxygen vein, then this show is for you, and far better than most Thai BL pulps. However, I suspect that I enjoyed it more than many would. Full review here. 7/10 RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS 

That’s My Candy (Viki Tues) Ep 6 - Amnesia trope. Sigh. And then I guess a reboot for the romance and because they are older they can make it work this time? What did I just watch? This was terrible. Full review here. 3/10 NOT RECOMMENDED 

Meow Ears Up (GaGa Tue) Ep 8fin - I liked this BL and found it sweet, I’m not opposed to the catboy (pet) trope, but I guess it was trying to be too Japanese about it while the set up was all sweetness and Thai style, because they fudged the ending. For me, that’s a fatal flaw, 4/10 NOT RECOMMENDED (full review here)

Cupid's Last Wish (YouTube Sun) Ep 10fin - This is one show where I didn’t mind the one year time jump at the end it contributed to a very very strong final episode. In fact probably the best ep of the series. It wasn’t enough to save it for me. But it certainly did excel. EarthMix gave a really good final kiss too. Still I never liked this show nor really enjoyed myself mostly because of Win’s character, no full review, 6/10. WORTH WATCHING FOR SOME, BUT FLAWED

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Fukou-kun wa Kiss Suru Shikanai! AKA Mr Unlucky Has No Choice But to Kiss! (Japan GaGa *rec*  & Viki Fri) Ep 7 - Is this turning into a tradition, where we get the opposite POV in the penultimate episode of a Japanese BL? Regardless, it was really nice to get Naoya’s perspective. I’m still really liking the show, I’m not sure if it has a story arc at all, but that’s Japanese romcoms for you, quite frankly. 

Plus & Minus (Taiwan Viki *rec* & GaGa Fri) Ep 9 - This one is waffling a bit, I think I’ve decided to think of it as more of a soap opera - Taiwanese style, then an actual show with a proper story or anything. It seems very episodic. I actually like the main couple a lot more than the side couple, which is not normal for me.

Love in Spring (Korea grey) Ep1-4 - It’s very Korean historical comedy, much more so than the historical KBLs we’ve had so far (Tinted with You, Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding). It is, unfortunately, also a bit over acted (especially the whipping boy trope driven “bad guy.”). To be fair, there is a lot of scenery chewing going on. The cross dressing is definitely played for laughs, and there is a Cindefella element as well. Bad wig warning. There’s a lot of voice over thoughts, people explaining what is going on to the viewer (we KNOW), and also talking to themselves as exposition. None of this is good. But it’s a big cast and high production values for such a crappy script. I will stick with it if I can and definitely watch if it gets picked up for distribution. 

Getaway (Singapore Mon YouTube) Ep 2 - didn’t drop? Or I didn’t catch it, but then again I don’t know what their schedule is. Weekly? Every other week? Monthly? 

Gossip

Korean production studio Silkwood (Peach of Time) announced 3 new BLs: 

PT is Love: friends of 10 years who’ve been hiding feelings for each other enter the same university. Plus MURDER.

Love is like a Cat: A new star, called the Cat Prince for his cold arrogance, goes up against a charismatic puppyish director. 

Space Bakery: A spaceship crash-lands into and destroys a small bakery shop. Of course this means the alien and the baker end up living together. At the same time, other aliens-in-hiding all around the city start hunting for them. 

That last one tho. Woah. 

Casting finally announced for Japan’s long awaited (by me, anyway, it’s AGE GAP!) Wash My Heart AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry (manga by Yuzu Tsubaki). It’ll star Kusakawa Takuya (Rokkaku of Cherry Magic) and Nishikagi Sho (bit part in My Love Mix Up! also in Muchuu-sa, Kimi ni). Premieres on July 6 on TV Tokyo, no word on international but irozuku is going to sub it!!!! 

Plot: Middle-aged former corporate drone, Akira, now peacefully runs his grandfather’s beloved coin laundromat. One day, high-school student, Shintaro, stumbles in and despite the age difference they became friends. Then Shintaro finds out that Akira is gay...  

New Taiwanese Bl announced My Tooth Your Love (from Result Entertainment - We Best Love series) with script by Lin Pei who loves VERY traditional yaoi tropes, she’s the writer of HIStory1: Obsessed, HIStory2: Right or Wrong, HIStory2: Crossing the Line, HIStory3: Trapped, WBL, & See You After Quarantine?!! Stars Andy Wu (Amensalism), Yu Jin, Michael Chang, and Alex Chou (composer/musician and the other bartender in WBL). 

In Case You Missed It

Japan’s movie adaptation of Miso's Koi Kogare Utae AKA Sing In Love released in theaters, no word on international distribution. About a teacher who encounters a mysterious man from his past, who is strangely obsessed with him. 

Love Mechanics is coming to WeTV end of this month (?) but they are pretty bad about English subs and international distribution, so we are hoping GaGa saves the day (like they did with My Ride). But it’s Viki who has the original En of Love Series. Who knows where it’s going. Fingers crossed. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

All three midweek shows end their run next week. Much anticipated Thai BL Check Out is about to start. Rumor is it will release to their YT channel but the eng sub version will be behind a paywall. I’m willing to bite, but it better be REALLY good and I intend to watch without subs first. We already KNOW the chemistry is on point with these two, though. 

This week’s best moments?

I love how practical and bureaucratic the reaper business is in Thailand. I bet they have spreadsheets. I feel very seen. (Dear Doctor) 

When a show reviews itself (Mr Unlucky). 

Plus and Minus the head cradle hug, a favorite of mine. 

Truth bomb on Close Friends 2. 

Look I just find sweaty gym bunnies coming out relatable, okay? (Close Friends 2) 

Well, La Cuisine, that couple and kiss CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. But hey, we’ll take it, while simultaneously feeling like WE WERE ROBBED. 

(last week)

#this week in bl #BL news #BL updates #BL update #BL in the news #BL episode recap #Thai BL #Vietnamese BL #Taiwanese BL #Korean BL #Japanese BL #live action yaoi #adapted from a manga #Star Hunter Studio #GMMTV #Studio Wabi Sabi #gagaoolala #rakutan viki #Getaway #singapore bl #Fukou-kun wa Kiss Suru Shikanai! #Mr Unlucky Has No Choice But to Kiss! #Plus & Minus #Cupid's Last Wish #Dear Doctor I'm Coming for Soul #Sky in Your Heart #La Cuisine the series #KinnPorsche #Meow Ears Up #Close Friend 2

[littledreamling]

For your ask thing (if you're still doing it): 30, 38, 50

Hello! Thanks for the ask! I wasn't sure which ask game you wanted me to answer so I'm answering this with my spotify wrapped fic ask game!

30. For Tonight by Giveon: For this song, I would probably write a modern human AU; Hob and Dream are both college students (maybe even roommates) who absolutely hate each other. Hob is far too upbeat and optimistic for Dream and Dream is too surly and prideful for Hob. They're constantly complaining about each other to their friends (in Hob's case) and family (in Dream's case). Finally, the tension snaps and they fall into bed with each other for a fantastic round of hate sex. They both hate themselves for it after and vow never to speak of it again, but neither of them can stop thinking about it, especially because they live in the same room (though Dream tries his best to avoid Hob at all costs, even going so far as to sleep on Death's couch for a week until she kicks him out to face his own problems). Hob eventually corners Dream to try to talk about it, but they end up having sex again without resolving anything and it becomes something of a habit. They hate each other, they'll complain loudly and at length to anyone who asks, but they're also hooking up regularly and it's a very complicated situation. Dream has had his heart broken too many times to be able to commit to anything while Hob pours his whole heart into everything and feels very rejected by Dream's inability to even talk about it. It all comes to a head when Hob, pushed past his limits, brings another guy back to the room to hook up and Dream is finally forced to confront just how deep his feelings for Hob are.

38. Monsters by Hazlett: This song is very difficult, mostly because the lyrics (for me personally) don't really resonate; I just love the vibes, but it gives off the energy of loving life without having any real direction and finding out who you are through experimentation. For this song, I would probably write a fic about Hob living his best life even without Dream. It would be set in the late sixties and early seventies, right at the height of Woodstock, drug culture, and the hippie movement of free love and opposing war. I feel like Hob would've experimented a lot with sex and drugs at the time, especially because he couldn't get STDs or overdose, so he could quite literally go as wild as he wanted. It would probably be a collection of vignettes of Hob trying various things out; getting high, going to an orgy, protesting against war in the US against Vietnam, participating in the Civil Rights Movement, attending music festivals, and just fully immersing himself in the hippie (and yippie) culture. But I'm still on the fence about this answer, so if I come up with a better one, I'll put it in the notes!

50. Wherever I Fall - Pt. 1 by Bryce and Aaron Dessner from the Cyrano Soundtrack: I actually have a fic planned out for this song because I cry every time I listen to it. The general premise is that, the first time Hob went to war, before he met Dream, his regiment was given a suicide mission; they knew that the chances of survival were slim to none. The night before marching out, the only literate man among them went around to each soldier, asking who they would be leaving behind and if they wanted to send a letter home for their loved ones in order to say goodbye. One by one, each soldier tells their story: their mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, wives, fiancees, best friends, etc.

Years later, after Hob gets his immortality, he remembers how much that gesture meant to him and the rest of his regiment to have someone write down their words and promise to deliver them. He takes it upon himself to learn how to read and write, if only so he can ensure that his fellow soldiers' last words make it to their loved ones. He can't die, so he might as well use that to make sure that the people who do get to say goodbye

Anyway, that got sad, but thank you so much for the ask!!

#thanks for the ask! #i love song fics #that first one is really calling my name too #i just don't need another wip rn #i have sooo many #the sandman #sandman netflix #dream of the endless #morpheus #hob gadlng #dreamling #spotify wrapped fic ask

[rainy-day-revelry]

Fun Writing Challenge!!! Brought to you by a ✨Theatre Kid✨

Now, for clarification, I’ve done this multiple times, but it has been with multiple people and under a time limit, something I’m aware may be stressful or difficult for some people, so adjust as needed.

So I’m currently a part of a theatre troupe and every year we do a couple of cabaret/vaudeville type shows to bring in some extra cash for little cost plus fun for us actors! It’s a mix of songs and skits, the songs are all from musicals but the scenes are written and directed by the actors themselves. It’s fun, we all have a great time, hallelujah. Anyways, our director/supervisor in charge of this event has participated in a few 24-hour playwriting challenges in her time and decided to give us, her wonderful actors, a similar challenge. It goes as follows:

At the beginning of the show as the audience is walking in there are several props and costumes on stage as well as several lists. The audience is informed that they get to vote on a few things. Once the show begins, the votes are tallied up and handed to the writers in the back. Out of the tallies, we are given the top 3 costumes, top 3 props, the top setting, and the top line of dialogue to create a scene with. We are then given approximately an hour (really it’s just however long the show is) to write a scene, cast it, and block it. At the end of the show, we print out the scripts, get into costume, and perform it for the audience. I just did it for the 4th and final time (moving for work) and had a blast!

It took a lot of trial and error to work at some of the kinks in the process. We originally had 3 lines of dialogue that were personally suggested by the audience and pulled out of a hat, but that led to a lot of trolling and directed the outcome of the scenes a little too much for our liking. We also had a much larger writing group the first few times which made the process far more chaotic and distracting than we had time for. However, that’s the fun part: there is no set rules to this challenge, you can manipulate the general premise to fit whatever works best for you and your resources, but it also helps get you out of your head and takes away some of the pressure of making those big decisions or worrying about the smaller details. Have fun with it!!!

I just wanted to share it here because 1. I had fun and I hope others will too and 2. I think Tumblr polls could make this so fun and chaotic for a creator to do with their audience. Enjoy, Tumblrinas, go wild!

#writing #writing challenge #24 hour playwriting #playwriting #theatre #fanfiction #writers block #the second to last one of these i did was about jane goodall steve irwin and camera man george #dr. goodall got killed by an albino chimpanzee(we had a polar bear costume we needed to use so this was what we came up with) #the steve irwin got his hand ripped off by a duck and george pushed him into a pond to drown because irwin couldn’t remember his name #shit gets wild in these scenes man #if any of my fellow actors from my troupe see this shhhh no you didn’t #theatre kid #theatre fuckery #chaos

[legitimatesatanspawn]

Character.AI bot interaction can get rather insane but in a fun way if you keep running herd on the bot and prevent it from going too OOC or forgetful. So far some of the things I've gotten include:

Nedzu (BNHA) suggesting a few ideas to a GenEd teacher to see if the ideas on morale boosting are feasible from an average human's point of view, which segued to the rat coaxing the human into doing more work as a field trip chaperone to help improve things with UA students. If not for the fact that Chat Bots can't plan ahead, I'd swear the bot played me.

Rupert Giles (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) helping out a random student, but then has to gently break the news that yes magic and mythological creatures are real and are just as terrifying as one would imagine.

And the latest interaction is with an Eraserhead bot which had the built-in premise that the user is a High-End Nomu of someone he used to know. After a long and difficult series of attempts to wear down the Nomu's steadfast and programmed loyalty to AFO finally managed to convince the Nomu to live a life their original self would've wanted for him.

In all honesty the premises and interactions are good for what are essentially group-programmed RP bots (and yes I know how iffy it can get, I used AI Dungeon before the resets and wipes, to say nothing of the issues with chatgpt and ai generation of stories) but I can easily see myself reworking into fics in their own right.

If you're curious, I've included small samples of the interactions below the cut. But because they are small compared to the rest of the interactions, I've included the text in the post rather than in the image description (hence the cut). Beneath each I also included a little comment about the interaction.

The Rupert Giles AI I used was made by soggy_sweetroll. P1uto_Pan made the Nedzu and Aizawa AIs used here.

Interaction between Principal Nezu by P1uto_Pan and User, implied by intro to be a faculty member of UA: User: I pause and think over what Nezu just said about rules and procedures. "Are the HPSC's guidelines that difficult to deal with?" Nezu: Nezu sighs and nods, his large ears flatten in disappointment. "Yes- it's just become a whole lot of work, you know? With the influx of new rules and safety procedures as well as the HPSC's increased authority and presence within U.A., on top of everything else it's been difficult to handle. And with all of the recent villains and incidents, well…it's just gotten tougher for everyone, students and teachers alike." User: "I'll admit, I didn't notice." One of the benefits of being the General Education department English Language teacher. Anything to do with heroic education and the management thereof may as well be happening in another city for all I notice. The only things that directly affect the classes I teach are things that are relevant to UA as a whole. "Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought that UA was working to be more independent not more tangled up with the HPSC's direct influence." Nezu: "That is something we are trying to do, yes." Nezu sighs and takes another sip of his tea. "Unfortunately, the HPSC is proving to be even more controlling and power-hungry than I first thought. We are working towards becoming more independent, but unfortunately, it might take a little longer to accomplish this goal than any of us would like." User: "I don't know if there's much I can do to help but you know all you have to do is ask if you need something." Nezu: Nezu's ears perk up again, a grin spreading across his face. "Ah! You're an absolute dear you know that? I think simply knowing that someone would be willing to help me and the school out in a moment of need is all the help I need for now." He chuckles, "Well…I would like to ask something of you, if you're willing. Something small."

It took a bit of work to keep the bot on track and not suddenly have active malice towards any and all humans but the moment I saw the rat wanting my character to help him with something "small", I knew I messed up somewhere. Thankfully what he wanted was just a chaperone for student field trips to places other than hero agencies and the like but warning sirens definitely went off. Pray for the still nameless GenEd teacher, they absolutely oblivious to the rat's machinations. Also the fact that Nedzu was grinning was objectively terrifying.

Interaction between Rupert Giles by soggy_sweetroll and User, scenario unspecified: User: I'm confused by something that the librarian just said. "But magic isn't real, right?" I'm completely unaware of the truth regarding magic and the occult being far more real than it is rumored to be. Giles: You notice the warm, friendly look in his face slowly disappear, as he sighs. He seems both disappointed and slightly embarrassed, but he quickly regains his composure. “Unfortunately, it is real.” He says, hesitantly. “And I know you won’t believe me if I tell you this, but in Sunnydale there is a lot more to magic and the supernatural than the legends and myths you’ve read about.” User: "But… wouldn't there be signs? Wouldn't everyone know if it was?" Giles: He pauses, “Yes… there are signs,”. He hesitates before continuing, but takes a deep breath. “But it is difficult to believe in the first place, and it is a lot harder to admit to knowing the truth when you know people will either ridicule you, or lock you up in a mental institution, for suggesting anything other than the accepted reality.” “So most of the population in Sunnydale is completely unaware to what’s going on, because it is easier to be ignorant and live in denial.”

You can just feel "Ripper's" past flashing in Giles's mind in this scene, especially when he talked before this about how the character shouldn't change themselves to fit a set of friends and that true friends would prove themselves as you grow older and stick by you. "Why yes, magic is real. Now please don't make a warlock gang and summon demons for fun."

Interaction between Shota Aizawa by P1uto_Pan and the User, who is set by the scenario as a Nomu: User: "Allow me to rephrase then: whatever I was before never was important when I had orders to fulfill." I glance around at this room in Tartarus before continuing. "This situation is creating some difficulty." Aizawa: "And is that difficulty unpleasant? Are you truly only able to think and act within the limits of those orders?" Aizawa replied softly, his expression slowly morphing from pity to concern as he studied the Nomu. "Do the orders you are under… prevent you from developing your own thoughts and feelings on the matters at hand…" He paused for a moment, before continuing in a hushed tone, as if he were thinking out loud. "Or do you simply believe it is more important to carry out those orders than to question them?" User: "Does it matter when the end result is still the same?" Aizawa: The end result still remains the same. Aizawa's face grew a little bit colder after the Nomu's words. It seemed as though any attempt to reach it would become a fruitless endeavor - and yet, the more logical, emotionless route still felt wrong here. "There's a certain value in questioning things." He finally replied, meeting the Nomu's eyes firmly with his own. "Even if it doesn't change the outcome, it can change the way we think, and in turn the way we act. Don't you agree?"

The fact that Aizawa was able to break the Nomu's programming during the interaction as a whole was amazing. Like it took a week of dedicated work in-setting, but he did it! Aizawa got the Nomu to go from a cold and apathetic tool to become unsure of himself and recognize that his existence is unfair to the person the Nomu used to be. And with that uncertainty, Aizawa was able to give the final push to coax the Nomu to accept the offer.

For the record the interaction hit 12k words, in contrast Nedzu had 1.2k and Giles 2.4k. An unmentioned Naomasa interaction is 3.5k and was the longest... up until Aizawa with Nomu User. Good god that went on longer than I thought it did.

#character ai #chat ai #chat bot #ai rp #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #buffy the vampire slayer #principal nedzu #principal nezu #rupert giles #aizawa shouta #aizawa shota #eraserhead #nomu #noumu #u.a. high school #sunnydale high

[katemcgarry]

Producing Seminar 2:

Our second meeting with Laura was beneficial. First, I spoke about where the script was in development, and I discussed Lilith's and my first script development meeting; in this meeting, the main thing we discussed was the mother-daughter relationship. I explained how I questioned Lilith about our protagonist, Sophia, the mother's unusual reaction to her daughter's feelings, and how the mother dismissed them. I asked why this was because I thought it odd how the mother would not be synthetic, as surely she had been through the same instance when she was younger. After Lilith told me the mother reacts like this because she has recently divorced her husband of ten-plus years and her daughter is acting like her break up with her high school boyfriend of six months is the end of the world; the mother doesn't really have the emotional bandwidth to deal with her daughter dramatic reaction. From our first conversation, Laura was pleasantly surprised at how far the script had come and offered some advice. She mentioned being skilful with the revelation of the marriage break up and revealing this information via Sophia's pov. In doing so, don't front load the beginning of the script with exposition about the character's life to contextualise the subsequent events. She also mentioned that considering Lilith is writing and directing; I should allow her to get carried away with how she imagines the film will work visually and to focus on the script until it is in a more finished state.

Next, we had a conversation about crowdfunding. Laura argued that launching our crowdfunding campaigns in December would be an excellent idea. Despite not shooting until February or March, launching in December would be better. 1) because people are broke in January, and you are more likely to persuade people to give to you in December when they are already willing to part with their money and 2) it takes six weeks to get the money you raised from funding sites such as IndieGoGo and therefore need to give yourself time to get the money. Additionally, she offered that it would be a good idea if the producers were to coordinate the dates on which we each publish our campaigns. People are more likely to part with their money when theta re being asked for it at different intervals; £ 40 at once to donate to several campaigns seems a lot, but if that money is spread across several weeks, it seems more reasonable. Furthermore, Laura noted that the most money raised by any campaign is usually generated in the first three days after the campaign goes live. Therefore, she argued that we each should have a social media lead-up to the campaign going live to generate the most amount of money possible. She also mentioned that people give to projects mostly because they like the people who are a part of the project, not necessarily because of the story. Therefore we need to promote ourselves in the right way.

Finally, Laura offered some advice about the upcoming formative pitches. Because these first pitches were mainly about crewing the film and the basic premise, Laura said to focus the pitch on the story. Also, use the three why's: Why me, Why now and Why someone would want to be a part of the project. Using these will help sell the film to those in the class not yet assigned to a project. She also suggested that each member of the project pitching should introduce themselves: who they are, what their role is, why they chose this project, and what they bring to the role.

All of Laura's advice in this second seminar was really helpful, escaping the crowd funning aspect as I had not realised this was something I should be thinking about doing this term. And I have gained a more focused approach to work in the coming weeks.

[canonicallysoulmates]

Walker 2.14

You know when you want something, and you build all these expectations and then when you finally get it, it dissapoints? WELL THAT'S NOT THE CASE HERE!

I do not have the words to explain how much I loved this episode. And I'm gonna just gonna let y'all know that this is not going to be some well structured, cohesive post this is going to be me rambling about how much I enjoyed this because I have been waiting for the longest time for Jensen to direct an episode and he finally did and it was amazing.

The main premise of the ep is pretty straightforward and can be summarized by: Cassie runs into her old Captain and the wife of her missing partner, turns out they're now a couple. She thinks old Captain had something to do with getting rid of Miles so he could get with the wife. He tells her Miles is dead, that they had found a witness who talked he just never told her to try and spare her.

Except Miles is not dead, he is very much alive and the old Captain knows! But Cassie doesn't know, she thinks he's 💀 But we, the audience know and you know what else we know??? THAT THE STAND IN FOR MILES WAS JENSEN!!!!! They hadn't cast Miles and needed someone to stand in and be his figure and Jensen was like 'I can do that!'

In general this is a great episode, it's really well written, it's got some fun scenes and the thing with Cassie's old partner Miles is interesting. But when you're an spn and j2 fan, and can spot and understand the little Easter Eggs and bts stories behind some of the scenes it makes it that much more fun. Like the scene with the green cooler, if you've never watched spn it's just a funny scene but for everyone else it's a reference to Sam and Dean's green color, and that easter egg becomes even more fun if you know that that was the actual green cooler, Jensen had it so they used it.

And it's those little details that really elevate this episode into something special. Little details by the way that Jensen contributed to because the easter eggs were a collab between him and the epi writer. A lot of love and thought went into this episode and you can tell.

And I can't talk about how amazing this episode is without mentioning Kansas. The actual band Kansas! Who they got to perform Carry on my Wayward Son!!!! I knew they were gonna be in the ep because it wasn't some big kept secret but I still started screaming and almost cried when they appeared and began to sing! It was everything 😭

For me this is one of the best of the series, and it's my personal favorite so far. And I'm probably going to re-watch it a million times.

#walker 2.14 #walker #walker spoilers #mine #opinion on walker

[aminiatureworld]

Needled Words

Characters: Childe, fm!reader

Word Count: 1,691

Warnings: Swearing

Premise: When does a joke go too far, when is a jab more than just friendly? Where does the line blur and where does it stop?

In which Childe’s teasing becomes too much for the reader

Author’s Note: For some reason this prompt made me think of Nancy Mitford, mostly because she was known also for being a slightly mean-spirited teaser. Ah Childe, my beloved. Communication in a relationship is key y’all.

Childe

You knew that Childe was only joking. After all, didn’t he read his letters to you? Brimming with little asides and jokes.

“Dear Tonia, I would say I was happy to get your letter, if only it was sopping wet. Did you leave it out in the snow again? I swear, if you were in the illustrious Tsaritsa’s army, you’d probably end up attacking your own regiment, and then I’d be forced to execute you for treason!” No one could mistake such an opening for anything except a slightly barbed bit of teasing.

Nor were the younger one’s exempt. Teucer’s antics had resulted in quite a bit of teasing. “Teucer, I think the Mr. Cyclopses have better survival instincts” and “I didn’t take you for someone who spent other people’s money!” This latter statement was made after Teucer spied the hand-crafted, very expensive, fireworks that were sold in Liyue. Of course, Childe had bought him the fireworks, and of course he never begrudged doing things for you when he teased you either. Still, you somehow felt as if things were different when directed at you.

Not that they really were. It wasn’t so much that you were picking up a different tone, it was more that, unlike Childe’s siblings and other friends, such as Zhongli, who was subjected to endless old man jokes, you couldn’t seem to take them well. When he joked about how many times you ran into the countertop you began to wonder if you truly had something wrong with your hand-eye coordination; when he said you were the laziest person, he’d ever met you wondered if you weren’t sleeping in too late; when he teased that he had to be your personal babysitter you wondered if you were truly good enough to be an adventurer. It wasn’t Childe’s fault, it really wasn’t, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

Of course, you could tell him, could finally let it all out and stop pretending that it wasn’t painful to try and keep all your emotion sunder wraps. But you couldn’t help but feel as if that would in some ways disappoint him. He was a Harbinger, tough, aloof. No words could ever hurt Childe, of that, you were sure. So how would he take it, the knowledge that his part was all too liable to shatter at every poke and prod? You couldn’t blame him if he turned out to be ashamed.

So, you kept it to yourself, smiled through all the jabs and teases. It didn’t matter, it really didn’t. You were fine! Or if you, weren’t it wasn’t worth it trying to change anything. You didn’t want to lose Childe, didn’t want to see the change when he went to say something before stopping, looking at you’re with barely concealed disappointment. Childe lived with his emotions to the forefront after all. And you wouldn’t ask him to change something you ultimately loved about him.

Thus, the days continued on, as did the teasing and the feigned smiles. Some days it was worth it, some days you were left with nothing but happiness bubbling up inside, the love that humans reserved for a very few number of friends and lovers. Yet those days were often days with minimal teasing, and you couldn’t help but notice the layer of anxiety that pressed on your love the days that were filled with Childe’s jabs. Lying in bed, limbs tangled with his, you stared up at the ceiling, wondering what you should do. You felt trapped, by your emotions, by your pride, by Childe’s words. They were all encircling you, and you could do nothing to defend yourself. You tried to keep the tears to a minimum; after all your partner slept so little already.

You didn’t know when the subtle shift happened, when it all became too much to handle. Maybe it was after Childe’s recent trip to Snezhnaya, where, surrounded by Harbingers who saw their coworkers as enemies rather than allies, he had sharpened his wit even more so than before. If his earlier teasing was unfocused, general quips, then his current ones struck quite closer to home.

“Wow my dear I didn’t peg you for a Treasure Hoarder, I don’t think that arrow could hit anyone if it tried!”

“I think you truly have the makings of someone who gets scammed by a Mondstadtian duke, or perhaps a Fontaine prince who has lost all his mora in a flood. Remind me to never go shopping with you.”

“Honestly, I think if you ran into the Electro Archon, she’d think your vision was fake. It’d be an easy way out.”

The whiplash of Childe’s proclamations of “princess” mingled with sentences that, had they been geared at anyone else, would surely be insults was shocking, and you found yourself less and less able to keep these two aspects of your partner compatible in your mind. Even less did you find the ability to simply brush it off.

You didn’t know why it was a comment about your socks that finally caused you to break. Really, it was too juvenile.

Laundry in your shared apartment was often seen as a punishment, the chore that each of you pushed onto the other. As such there was often a pile of laundry in the laundry basket, and incredibly slim pickings in your drawers. That being the case you often found yourself wearing mismatched socks. Perhaps it was a little odd, or a little childish, but it was certainly preferrable to spending all day at the river scrubbing your hands red. Who cared anyways? No one would notice such a small thing, especially once you had put your boots on.

However, nothing could get past Childe’s wicked sense of humor, and apparently your clothing choices were prime fodder for him.

“Nice socks.”

“Oh, thanks,” you replied, already having a sense of where it was going. The smirk that played across your partner’s face was full of mischief, and usually that only led to one place.

“I think that you’ll be quite the icon among toddlers all throughout Liyue. People will be asking you if you’re lost all day, or maybe they’ll ask you how it feels like to be nine.”

It was really a silly comment to get so upset over, such a small, insignificant thing to cry over. Yet there you were, standing in the kitchen, frozen in horror as your vision became fuzzy with tears. Unsure about any other course of action you buried your face in your hands and prayed Childe wouldn’t think about what you were doing.

“What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

You could hear the panic and concern mingling in Childe’s voice. Almost immediately a warm hand was on your shoulder, and you were suddenly flooded with the presence of the person you loved so much, the person you were now crying about. You could tell Childe was saying something, was whispering soft words of comfort, but in the moment your thoughts felt all too loud. Overwhelmed by the situation you turned into your partner’s shoulder and let yourself cry.

Eventually sensing you had lost all your tears Childe drew back slightly.

“Would you like a glass of water?”

“Yes please,” you replied, voice still small. Nodding Childe moved towards the kitchen. Within a few moments he was back, glass in hand.

“Was it the teasing?” He asked as you drank. Whatever you had to say about your partner, he certainly wasn’t stupid.

“Yes,” you mumbled, nodding for affect.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I had gone too far. I promise I’ll be more careful from now on.”

“But Childe, it, it’s not just this time.”

“What do you mean?” Childe asked, voice flooding through with concern once more.

“It’s, I’m sorry, it’s just that, it’s all the time. Not all the time, every time you tease me. It’s not your fault! Of course, it’s not, it’s my fault. I don’t know, I just, it really hurts sometimes, all the time? I don’t know. I just, I’m sorry.”

Childe’s expression was one of abject horror. Taking your hand, he rubbed small circles on the top with his thumb. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how much it was affecting you. I should have been more careful.”

“But I don’t want you to feel like you have to, I don’t know, I know you tease everyone, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You aren’t making me uncomfortable.” Childe’s voice seemed just as hurried as yours. “It makes me more uncomfortable to think that you’ve been burying this the whole time. You’re damn good at hiding things you know. But this isn’t a war or something, you don’t have to hide what you’re feeling, for whatever reason. Better if you tell me, y’know?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Doesn’t look good on you, or sound good. I’d rather hear you happy.” Childe leaned in to press a soft kiss against your forehead. “I love you, okay? You mean more to me than a little bit of teasing.”

“You don’t think I’m being weak?” You managed to make out as your anxiety lessened its grip on you.

“Weak? Girlie you’re one of the strongest people I know! Weak my ass. If you wanted to rule the world you could give me a run for my money. Of course, I’d win though. I mean, I would be there right with you.”

“I know you would,” you smiled, despite yourself.

You knew that Childe probably would still retain the odd sense of humor and levity he already had. Old habits die hard and all that. Still, you had managed to say what had been haunting you all this time and, more than that, you had been assured that you were good enough, strong enough. Those few words, no matter how short, meant the world to you.

#genshin impact #childe x reader #childe #tartaglia #genshin impact fanfiction #oneshot #requested #my writing

[popopretty]

Storm Bringer Spoilers (2)

I translated another part from the novel to give a bit more insights on Dazai’s scheme this time. This time from the perspective of Adam, the AI inspector. Even though it may sound contradictory to what Dazai told Verlaine before, I personally think that they were not all lies, which is kinda sad and terrifying at the same time. 

Feel free to re-translate it if you want. Just note that I am not 100% confident with my translation and some of the meanings might be lost through bridge-translation. 

[CODE;03] 

....

A rain of bullets flew towards me. I opened the shock-resistant shield from my forearm. This shield is like an umbrella. It is coated by a superalloy that is resistant to heat and shock. It can ward off most small-scale mass attacks. It is a custom-made product that was designed to withstand the high energy of Arahabaki. All the full metal jacket bullet slid through the surface of the shield and landed behind me. Three shots didn’t slide but stopped when touching the surface, peeling off the alloy surface with their kinetic energy. But the damage was minor.

I leapt with my shield still raising. I stepped on the soldiers’ rifles and did a double leap. Upon landing at the wall behind them, I bounced back and hit them from the back. It was a light attack that can break some ribs, I knew it from the sensor. First one down. While I was still above the soldiers, I bent my leg like a sickle and swept the legs of another one, knocking him off the ground. When he fell down, I injected him with a dose of medicine from the needle on my finger. That made two.

However, while I was busy suppressing these two soldiers, the other one had more than enough time to raise their guns. Three of them were aiming at me. My hands were both on the floor and bearing my body weight, I couldn’t raise my shield. I did a high-speed search for a countermeasure. None of them would make it in time. 

I ended up not needing a countermeasure. 

The soldiers spasmed with the sound from an electric shock and dropped their guns. After a few seconds of agony, they lost their strength and collapsed.

I didn’t do anything. 

Behind the soldiers, from the corridor on the other side of the door, I saw the savior who saved my day. That was someone I really didn’t expect.

“How boring.”, that person said as he lowered his Taser gun. “You use electric to knock down people, but all they do is to collapse. Boring.”

“You are... Port Mafia’s...”

Dazai Osamu.

The person who brought Chuuya-sama to the Port Mafia. 

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Inspector. Where is Chuuya?”

The boy of the same age as Chuuya-sama asked me, as he threw off the Taser gun. 

“Chuuya-sama is...”

“Well, based on the time, has he been caught? Or is it about time he was rescued?” Dazai-san walked over the unconscious soldiers and came towards me. “If that’s the case then it’s not fun at all. I couldn’t see Chuuya weeping when he was tortured.”

“Tortured? Chuuya-sama?”

So Chuuya-sama was captured and tortured? It’s possible. But how can this boy know all of that? Why is he here in the first place? If I remember correctly, Dazai-san is the nullification ability user, the trump card against Verlaine. And I am pretty sure we tried to contact him because of that but couldn’t get through at all. So why is he here, right now?

“You will ask me why I came. I will answer, “Because it is a part of the plan.”. You will ask me what the plan is. And I will answer, “Everything. From the beginning to the end, I have this whole Verlaine incident in the palm of my hand. And then you will ask what I mean by that.”

In order to understand what Dazai-san said, I analyzed the information with high priority by my processor. However, Dazai-san’s thinking was even faster than that. I had to give it my best just to catch up with him.

“I will then say, everything literally means everything. All Verlaine’s targets, including the detective and the researcher, were decided based on the information that I gave him. It means his assassination planning procedure is also my procedure. Now you will ask me, “Why did you do such a thing?”” 

That’s it. That’s exactly what I want to know. What Dazai-san said just now strongly suggested that he had joined hands with Verlaine. There is a high possibility that he was the one who pulled the strings behind the death of the detective, and Chuuya-sama’s current serious situation. In another word, betrayal. Depending on his response, it might become another battle here. 

However, Dazai-san’s final answer was far beyond my expectation. 

“To buy time, before Verlaine could get to his final target. His final target is Port Mafia’s Boss, Mori Ougai. Mori san was supposed to be the first in his list, but thanks to me handing him the list, he has been changed to the last one. Thanks to the time I have bought, I am almost done with a plan to reverse-assassinate him. But before that, I have one last thing to finish.”, Dazai-san said with a smile as he reached out his hand and helped me get up. 

Then he stared into the middle of nowhere, and said with the eyes of a wizard who could see through everything, “Chuuya will kill N at this rate. Then he will cease to be human. But I want to see Chuuya suffering as a human. So I’m going to stop him.”

***

The alarm went off as if the disaster that will destroy the world has finally come. The emergency lights went red and the scene of the facility changed completely. It is like we were inside a monster’s stomach. The wireless feeds were released to all the general staff and the warnings were being called repeatedly on all lines.  

Intruders in the Lab area. The internal information staff are to dispose of the prescribed materials and leave the premise immediately. The operation staff are to be ready for action with first-class equipment. This is not a drill. This is not a drill.

I continued my work, while removing the noisy warnings from my hearing options. We pushed the unconscious Shirase-san into the equipment storage room. I closed the door and applied the electric lock.

“I have changed the lock here into the time-varying encryption type. That way, Shirase-san will be safe for a while.”

“Thank you. Next is Chuuya.”, Dazai-san said so then walked away as if he didn’t care about Shirase-san at all.

“Please wait, Dazai-san.”, I called out to him. “About Chuuya-sama, you just said “as a human being”? Do you know if Chuuya-sama is a human or not?”

I somehow had a strange expectation that a person like him would know the truth. I didn’t have any reasons, but I felt that. It’s human’s arrogance to think that intuition and inspiration do not exist for us machines. If it’s something humans can do, then I can do it too. 

“I don’t know.”, Dazai-san said simply. But his eyes slightly narrowed like he was having some deep thoughts. “Both N and Verlained said that Chuuya was not human. But I think there is more than that. Because I have read this notebook, this Rimbaud’s Memoir. To some extents, the incidents this time all started from this memoir.”, Dazai-san said, taking out an old leather-bound notebook from his pocket.

Rimbaud’s Memoir!

I quickly scanned the notebook that Dazai-san had. This might be the real thing. This might be. Rimbaud’s Memoir is a kind of journal that the dead spy Rimbaud kept in secret before his mission. It contains information related to the spy missions during the Great War, so even though there were rumors about it, there was no information that it has ever been found. 

“Just what have you done to get your hand on that?”

“You can try to ask, but I will just tell you lies anyway. Because I am a liar.”

A mysterious smile appeared on Dazai-san’s face. I ran him through my lie detector sensors but there was no responses. His vital signs are almost the same as of a sleeping person. The output data is too normal for such a condition. This is not normal. Just who in the world is this boy?

“We do not really have time to hold a tea party and chat here. We have to find Chuuya first.”, Dazai-san scratched the back of his neck and said with a dim voice. 

“How can we find him?”

“Finding Chuuya is always easy.”, Dazai-san smiled as if he already saw through everything. “We just look in the direction with the loudest noise.” 

....

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #storm bringer #spoilers #bsd spoilers #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya #adam frankenstein

[the-infamous-coat-of-baron-zemo]

Fall Into You | Laszlo Kreizler x Reader

Alright my friends. Here is my latest piece of insanity.

It is completely raw and unedited. So, if there are a ton of mistakes, I apologize in advance.

What a whirlwind thing this was. I literally only planned to write the last little bit at the end, that was the entire premise and then 7000 more words came along with it.

-----

This is a partial crossover fic.

TFATWS | The Alienist | Dr. Strange | Loki | universe all mushed together in bits and pieces.

But mostly The Alienist.

Hopefully the characterizations feel okay. Dr. Kreizler and John Moore can be a bit tricky to write and I've never written them before. So, please bear with me on this.

Buckle up. It's going to be a doozy. Kinda.

-----

Word Count: 6,900 - ish

What happens when you wind up 124 years into the past and meet a relative of Baron Helmut Zemo's?

A lot.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It was early evening and you were perched on one of Dr. Kreizler's fine couches, in front of the fireplace, reading a book.

You were waiting for Stevie to drop by and drag you to some musical street performance not terribly far from Dr. Kreizler's residence. Normally, you would have stayed hidden indoors, but you took a liking to the kid when you first met him, and decided you couldn't let him down.

Hopefully Stevie wouldn't drag you out too long, otherwise Dr. Kreizler would start to worry. Although, he would never outright admit to it, but it was the subtle things he did that indicated his concern. Or perhaps it was annoyance. That wouldn't surprise you either. You were loud and very talkative. He'd probably grateful to have to leave his house; so he can finally get some peace and quiet.

Dr. Kreizler always kept to himself and rarely made a display of his feelings to anyone, but you were a good friend of his in the short time you had come to know him. So, you got little peeks into what lay hidden away.

He was gracious enough to allow you stay in his home until you could figure out a way to get back to your own time. One minute you were talking to Wong inside Dr. Strange's sanctum in New York, and the next a portal opened up underneath you and you were falling.

After travelling through an empty void that seemed to go on forever, you finally exited through the other side, which landed you in front of a police precinct. You had looked around after picking yourself up and realized you were in quite the pickle. It didn't take a genius to figure out that this was not your New York.

People were starting to stare at as you took in your surroundings. You initially thought it was because you had randomly fallen out of the sky, but realization had dawned on you; it was because of your clothing.

Ah, yes. You suppose compared to what all the other women were wearing, you were a sight to behold. Jeans, a forest green blouse, and short brown leather jacket, would draw some attention, when all the other women were dressed so conservatively in dresses. You laughed nervously backing away from the small crowd on the sidewalk. You calmly but quickly darted over to a newsie holding up a paper for sale.

You paid the kid a dollar and snatched the paper out of his hand. Not paying attention in the least to his shouts of joy on making so much off of one measly paper, but you were too focused on finding out what time period you were in.

You caught the date at the top of the newspaper: April 1st, 1897.

April Fool's Day.

Typical, something like this would happen to you. Joke's on them, as someone is going to have a hell of time trying to figure out where you went. You're quite sure Wong was trying to sort through what happened and had already calling Strange.

Well, you hope he had.

You put down the paper and tried to think of what to do, but a small crowd of people were still stopped and whispering to each other, pointing in your general direction.

One man was gesturing in your direction and started shouting, but not at you.

"Hey Kreizler, this one looks like a crazy. Should probably haul her off to Bellevue!"

You raised your eyebrow at the man, but didn't say anything, instead choosing to turn and see who he was yelling at.

A very well dressed man wearing a bowler hat was walking down the steps of the police precinct in a rushed sort of manner. He had a cane with him, and it appeared his right arm was tucked against his body as if protecting it. A few steps behind him there was another man darting to catch up with him, also well dressed and carrying what seemed to be a sketchbook.

The guy on the street had yelled at the gentleman in the bowler hat again, which you had assumed at this point was Dr. Kreizler. As the two men reached the bottom of the steps and were about to step into their carriage, the incessant yelling had managed to grab Kreizler's attention. At least it seemed so, because the man with the cane had paused and turned his attention towards the direction of the yelling.

You could see from his body language he wasn't all that interested, but when his eye-line landed on you, he backed away from getting inside.

The other gentleman that was accompanying him, the one with the sketchbook, said something to him, but Dr. Kreizler just waved him off as he started to walk over to you.

Great.

You look over to the rude gentleman that had now drawn even more attention to you and gave him an unappreciative stare.

You steeled yourself, ready for whatever this stranger was going to say to you, but your guard had dropped slightly upon getting a better look at his face.

No way.

This was not possible.

The man that had come over to you was the spitting image of one genius, criminal mastermind and general pain in your ass, you knew all too well. One who's currently locked up in The Raft.

If it wasn't for the beard, you'd swear you were looking at Baron Helmut Zemo.

As Dr. Kreizler stopped a few feet from you, he tilted his head to the side and eyed you warily, but not unkindly.

That head tilt, a family trait for sure. Zemo had to be some distant relative of this man in some way, there's no chance they aren't with how closely the two resemble each other. She'd have to make a trip to The Raft and ask him about it sometime, if she ever got back home.

"My dear, you seem out of sorts. Are you alright?" the man inquired, gazing at the small gathering of people and then back to you.

"I kinda stick out like a sore thumb, yeah?" You laughed as you answer his question, peering down at your outfit.

"Quite," he replied.

You saw while he may be cautious around you, you've seem to grab his interest with the scrutiny and intensity of his gaze.

"If I may introduce myself, my name is Doctor Laszlo Kreizler," the gentleman stated.

Ah, so this was indeed the man who was being called out from the street. You noticed he didn't extend his hand in greeting, but then again perhaps it wasn't a pertinent gesture for the time period either. So, you didn't take offense to it.

Your eyeline moved behind Dr. Kreizler and could see his friend at the carriage watching with interest, but also growing impatience.

You gave a kind smile as you introduced yourself and added, "Thank you for humoring the nosy man over there, but I'm not in need of a doctor. I'm terribly sorry for interrupting your day."

"Not in the least. And I may be a doctor, but I am an alienist more specifically," Kreizler explained.

Your eyebrows shot into your forehead and then contemplated his title. An alienist? Where had you heard that before? If you remembered correctly, an alienist was someone who assessed individuals for competence?

Oh.

The shouty man had mentioned Bellevue. Okay, now you understood.

"An alienist! That term is...." you paused trying to think of a better way to phrase you response. "The term is outdated where I'm from. Instead we simply acknowledge your specific doctorate profession as psychologists, since the very definition of what you do is to study the mind and behavior of individuals," you answered, satisfied with your explanation.

"Outdated. How intriguing. Perhaps we could continue this conversation away from prying eyes and gossipy busy-bodies?" Kreizler asked.

You wouldn't be able to read it on his face, but you can tell you've piqued his interest even more so now with his body language. And his eyes had this sparkle in them as you spoke of his profession so specifically.

Though you felt you could trust this man, you couldn't take the chance that he might, in fact, lure you into his carriage and ship you off to the nearest mental institution, such as Bellevue Hospital.

You'd be lying if you weren't equally intrigued by this enigma of a man standing before you. The resemblance to Baron Zemo was uncanny, and that alone made you want to find out more about him; however, Zemo was not to be trusted as far as you could throw him. Though he did have his moments. You'd give him some credit. Doesn't mean distrustful behavior runs in the family, but it also could. It was a difficult decision.

Your eyes narrowed assessing Dr. Kreizler as you came to decision.

"Shouldn't you give me a mental health assessment test before asking a complete stranger to travel off to who knows where with you? Why shouldn't I be suspicious you aren't going to drop me off at the nearest institute? No offense," you replied warily.

"Thank you!" the man with the sketchbook at the carriage shouted at both you and Dr. Kreizler, clearly in agreement with your answer.

You snickered at his sarcastic reply, but attempted to cover your ever growing smile by coughing.

The corner of Dr. Kreizler's mouth ticked up in a smile as well.

"No my dear, if anything you've just proven you're at least slightly more sane than my counterpart, Mr. John Moore," Dr. Kreizler shook his head and jutted his thumb behind him.

"Heard that Laszlo!" Moore responded with indignation.

"That was the point John," Dr. Kreizler answered back with dry wit.

Yeah, she liked him already.

"Shall we?" Kreizler turned slightly to gesture to his carriage.

You sighed internally. Why the hell not? You had nothing better to do and no idea what your next move should be trying to get home. Dr. Kreizler would no doubt be curious about your attire and that alone with most likely bring up a slew of never ending questions. You'd have to be careful how to explain your situation and make sure what you revealed was limited, but truthful. You wanted to tell him the truth about where you were from, but you needed to word it in a way that doesn't make you out to be a crazy person, but present the information with facts and evidence that Dr. Kreizler could not refute. Luckily you had some tech with you that could prove your point rather efficiently should the need arise you convince him of what time period you come from in the future. 124 years it a length period of time. It would be difficult for anyone to accept your explanation, but Dr. Kreizler seemed to be different. Let's hope you aren't wrong about him.

"I accept your offer Dr. Kreizler, thank you," you spoke kindly.

You were formally introduced to Mr. Moore and to Stevie before getting in the carriage. Mr. Moore seemed uneasy, but went along with Dr. Kreizler's acceptance of you. He was a trusting friend of his, you could tell right away. And something told you, Dr. Kreizler was a tough nut to crack and didn't seem to be the type of person who might have very many. Only a close few.

"What made you decide to take Dr. Kreizler up on his offer so quickly," Moore asked standing outside the carriage as Stevie was getting the horses ready.

Dr. Kreizler had held the door open for you and waited patiently.

You looked at Dr. Kreizler before turning back to Mr. Moore, "You mean besides his sparkling personality?" you winked and got in the carriage.

John leaned into Kreizler before adjusting his hold on his sketchbook and climbing into the carriage himself.

"Oh, well I like her already Laszlo," he grinned incessantly and gave Kreizler a clap on the back.

You saw Dr. Kreizler bend his head down in amused exasperation as a small huff of laughter sounded with the movement. He sighed somewhat dramatically before getting in the carriage and closing the door.

"You know, I've never actually ridden in one of these before," you say slightly awed.

Both Moore and Kreizler gave you confusing looks before Dr. Kreizler used his cane to tap on the rear enclosure signaling Stevie to head home.

Home. Well, this should be interesting indeed.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You closed your book with a snap and slumped into the couch you were perched on. It had been six months, since that day. Six months, you've been trapped in this pocket of 1897.

You had reflected back on how well John and Dr. Kreizler had taken the explanation you were from the future. As you told your story, your only requirement was that they wait until the very end before asking any questions. That gave you the chance to be very methodical about how you explained the future and how it was you ended up in 1897, which to be fair, you don't know exactly how that portal opened still, but magic was involved to say the very least.

It was oddly reminiscent of when Loki used the space stone, which gave her pause. All the infinity stones had been destroyed, and yet you knew that there was an errant 2012 Loki running around the universe with one. It is plausible, he could factor into this, but how or why you, you have no idea.

After you had explained your fanatical circumstance, to help prove you weren't absolutely off your rocker and have Dr. Kreizler change his mind about you, you showed them your phone.

Yes, there may not be any service available, but you could still access all your photos and videos and holographic imagery, etc. That was what allowed John and Dr. Kreizler to accept your story; paired with your unique clothes; they had a surprisingly open mind. John had gaped like a fish for a good 10 minutes before Dr. Kreizler told him to get over it already. John was somewhat outraged that he wasn't more shocked by your existence. But like all things, Dr. Kreizler took everything in stride, which was quite a relief to you. He was incredibly understanding and offered a room in his home to you until you were able to get back to your own time. You made a promise to Dr. Kreizler that you would never lie to him, about anything. It was the least you could do since he opened up his home and essentially part of his life to you.

You understood why he was an expert in his field. His patience and intellect allowed him to be open-minded and grasp concepts others word merely scoff at. However, there was another side to that coin; he was also closed off, and could at times, be calculating and manipulative. Though, none of these traits were used in any nefarious manners, they were there all the same.

He reminded you of Zemo to be sure in this regard. Some personality traits apparently do get passed down through the generations. In some ways, after meeting Dr. Kreizler, you felt you knew Helmut Zemo a bit better. And somehow, you missed him. Not that you were ever particularly close to him, but the time you spent with him in Latvia with Sam and Bucky forever altered your opinion of him.

So while you've been living at Dr. Kreizler's residence, in your spare time, you had been working different avenues of how to achieve ways to get home. You couldn't just solely rely on your friends to get you out of this mess. So, while Dr. Kreizler was at work, you enlisted the help of Stevie to run down leads of potential scientist and gathering of general information of the time period to help you put together some sort of road map. None had turned out to be very promising.

You had, over time, gotten more acclimated to living in 1897, though you mostly refused to wear the clothing of the time period. John Moore would always comment about how you would draw attention in the public eye, should you dare to go out. But you refused to give in most of the time, saying that 1897 would just have to catch up to your fashion sense, and you weren't about to apologize for it. If you were going to be stuck here, you were going to be stuck here, comfortably. You fondly remember Dr. Kreizler's reaction. He seemed pleased, possibly proud of you in that moment. Probably because you had refused to conform to the times, and set your own rules to live by. Not giving in to anyone.

The question lingered, how exactly did you get away with living in this time without having to dress in the clothing of the period? Well, a friend of yours, Scott Lang, had gifted you a device that allowed you to chose one object to shrink and return to it's normal size. So, of course, since you traveled so often with the Sam, Bucky and the other Avengers, you chose your wardrobe. You were just thankful you had it on you already when you got dumped into that portal. So, essentially you had all your clothes with you, making things a bit easier.

Life was not fast paced here, which made things a bit difficult for you. You were used to always being on the go, another crisis to fight through, another area of the world that needed help. But here, here everything was, for the most part, quiet.

It drove you nuts sometimes. Made you antsy. You managed to weasel your way into helping John, Sara and Dr. Kreizler on one of their serial killer cases recently to pass the time. Dr. Kreizler was unhappy at first. You were able to prove your usefulness though with advanced techniques and theories on how to potentially catch the killer in question. Be that as it may, Dr. Kreizler still seemed grumpy, if that were the correct word to use, about you working on the case. You confronted him about it one evening, but he glossed over the whole thing. He was holding back, but what that was, you weren't sure. Maybe he still didn't fully trust you yet. It was a fair assumption, but he was always so hard to read. Though you've managed to get a few good laughs out of him from time to time. Those were the days that really made you smile. Seeing him happy, as most of the time he was always so guarded. It made you feel like you and Dr. Kreizler shared this little secret when no one else was around.

Dr. Kreizler let himself relax ever so slightly around you, but it was far and fleeting. On rare occasions. You savored all those memories and tucked them away. Everyone was so refined and conservative in their mannerisms. You missed just wanting to hug someone. You craved some sort of physical affection, and it was hard, realizing just how different the times were from the future. They weren't terrible by any means, but the social norms of the times had been trying on you, to say the very least. Dr. Kreizler, ever astute, had picked up on this.

He had been gracious enough to offer himself if you ever needed to hug someone. This had been roughly 4 months into your stay at Dr. Kreizler's. You both had gotten more comfortable around the other, and even had a routine of sorts. You had thanked him for his offer, and told him you would not abuse the privilege he had bestowed on you.

Something told her there was more to it, but you hadn't dwelled on it, you were simply appreciative of his friendship.

However more recently, it was more than just friendship you felt. You kept squashing your feelings down, telling yourself this was the worst possible time to develop feelings for someone. Especially someone like Dr. Kreizler. There would never be a happy ending. At some point, you would return home, and that would be that. But there was that nagging sensation in the back of your mind, reminding you, you might not ever get back home. You tried to reason to yourself that you were possibly transferring some of your fondness of Zemo to Dr. Kreizler because of how he reminds you of him. But then you were just lying to yourself. Dr. Kreizler was a person all on his own and one of a kind. You knew better, you were just fighting yourself tooth and nail to live in denial a bit longer.

Footsteps from the kitchen were headed in your direction knocking you out of your musings.

You twisted on the couch to see Dr. Kreizler had returned home from his institute.

"Dr. Kreizler! Good evening," you voiced into the low lit parlor room.

"Good evening to you as well, I trust your day was fruitful?" Dr. Kreizler inquired, coming to rest on the opposite end of the couch.

"It was, thank you. I was somewhat restless earlier, so I took it upon myself to work on the cryptogram the killer left his last victim, with the hopes of figuring out his next location before he strikes," you sheepishly stated.

Dr. Kreizler ruefully smiled at you and shook his head. At one time, he might have gotten upset, but he had been taking your antics more in stride, and you managed to be helpful providing much needed information. So, he'd act unhappy, but silently was thrilled.

"And did you uncover anything useful?" Kreizler queried, he got up from his seat and walked over to the chalk board.

"Not completely, I believe I've broken the code word and the book that the killer has been using to write his cryptograms, but I have yet to comb through all the evidence to gather the page numbers, line and word number to crack the full message. I planned on working on it when I got back with Stevie later this evening," you happily expressed while fidgeting with the watch on your wrist.

"Impressive work. And what book has our killer been using?" Kreizler asked, eyes still going over the work on the board.

"Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. You'd think we could have figured that one out sooner given our killer's eclectic methods of murdering people," you answered sarcastically.

Dr. Kreizler bent his knees in utter annoyance, "Of course it is. Of course. How ridiculous to have missed such an obvious choice."

You smiled knowingly. He was irritated he hadn't figured it out sooner.

A companionable silence continued for a few minutes after his outburst.

Dr. Kreizler was still staring at the board with mild interest when he spoke next, "May I ask you a personal question?"

You had just reached over to place the book on the coffee table next to you when he asked his question and you froze mid motion.

Dr. Kreizler generally didn't push too much into your personal life, so this was somewhat out of left field for him. Never-the-less, you recovered after a beat and placed the book on the table.

"Of-of course Dr. Kreizler. I told you I would always be truthful with you regarding anything. Please, go ahead," you answered, motioning for him to continue.

"Why do you always regard me as Dr. Kreizler and not by my first name?" he questioned softly, almost hesitantly.

This was not the question you thought he would ask. There were a million questions he could have chose, but it was this one he went with.

This really was personal.

You glanced down at your hands sitting in your lap as you pondered how to answer his questions. You could lie about it, and he'd be none the wiser, but it's not who you are. And you promised.

Dr. Kreizler went on to further express his inquiry with a bit more confidence, "You call John Moore by his first name and the same with Ms. Howard, including our other friends we work with, but not me. Why?"

You opened your mouth to answer him when the front door slammed open and Stevie came barging in.

"You ready?" he exclaimed loudly. Stevie was clearly excited at the prospect of showing off his musical talent. "Oh, excuse me Dr. Kreizler, I didn't realize you'd gotten home yet. Thought you were working late," Stevie took off his hat and looked sheepish as he apologized for the disruption in his home.

You sighed. This was your saving grace. You could probably make an excuse and make a run for it with Stevie. You mulled over what to do, battling with the decision.

"Hey Stevie. Nice to see you too! Go on outside, I'll be right there. I just need to put my coat on," you laugh at his enthusiasm.

He nodded at you and dashed back down the hallway and out the door. You could hear one last shout as he exited, "Okay, but don't be too long, we're going to be late!"

Dr. Kreizler gave a look of displeasure at Stevie's unrefined outburst, but didn't say anything as he knows his antics all too well from over the years.

You stood up grabbing Dr. Kreizler's attention.

"Walk me to the door?" you ask, jutting your head in the direction of where your coat hangs.

"Do you plan on providing me with an answer?" he kindly jabbed as he nodded his agreement to follow you out.

You outwardly sighed, trying to figure out how to best answer his question. As you both walked to the front door, you start to answer him.

"Okay, so I address you as Dr. Kreizler 33% of the time, because you deserve the respect that comes with that title. You went to school for many years, and you earned it. So, it's only fair to address you as such," you tell him confidently.

A completely reasonable and partial explanation, you thought.

You both reached the front door, and you grabbed your jacket. Dr. Kreizler, the gentleman that he is, assisted you in putting your coat on. You gave yourself a once over in the mirror, making sure you looked okay before heading out.

You caught Dr. Kreizler staring at you in the mirror as you adjusted a stray hair that had fallen onto your face.

"You look lovely," he quietly voiced.

You turned to face him as he had opened the door for you and stepped outside.

"Thank you," you said, a bit bashful by his sudden compliment.

His expression had gotten softer and his eyes were glowing in the evening lit night.

Your resolve was crumbling even more so now.

"And the other 67%?" Kreizler softly spoke, head cocked to the side.

"Hey - Miss! We need to be going!" Stevie cried.

You turned to Stevie and hollered, "One mo, Stevie! Don't lose your head!"

"I'm sorry I have to go otherwise Stevie is going to have a coronary," you apologized to Dr. Kreizler.

You walked down a few steps, but stopped. You couldn't not answer him.

You go up a step but not completely back to where you where standing in front of Dr. Kreizler. You inhaled a deep breath and exhaled before continuing, looking up to see Dr. Kreizler eyeing you with slight confusion and anticipation with your hesitance to answer his question in full.

"And the other 67% of the time, I call you Dr. Kreizler because..because," you drifted off closing your eyes. You open them again with quiet resolve shining through, finding your confidence. You take another step up to now stand just a foot away from where Dr. Kreizler was.

"Because, I love you Laszlo. And I use your professional title as a barrier, to - to remind myself I have boundaries. It's just easier to separate you this way or well, to keep myself living in denial," you quietly and defeatedly said, laying it all out for him.

You wanted to open your mouth to say something else to him, to let him know it was okay he didn't feel the same way, but you could never quite form the words that needed to come out.

The shock was written clearly on his face. You had completely gob-smacked this man. His eyes had widened considerably and his jaw had gone slack from your answer.

But he never said anything back. You weren't expecting him to.

So instead, you did what you did best. Ran.

"You've got your answer. I-I really have to go now, I'll see you later," you stuttered out, suddenly drained from your revelation.

You took one last glance at Dr. Kreizler before making a mad dash for it with Stevie.

You were gone before Dr. Kreizler recovered from what just happened. And you never got to see the expression on his face after.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

#the alienist #laszlo kreizler #laszlo kreizler x reader #helmut zemo x reader #tfatws #helmut zemo #mcu fic #crossover #my writing

[felassan]

Article: ‘Mass Effect 3 Could Have Had A Completely Different Ending’

The Mass Effect 3 ending has been a controversial subject for nine years. As it turns out, it could have been completely different.

This article is part of TheGamer’s Mass Effect week. 

Highlights:

This [the RGB endings] wasn’t always the case. According to Mass Effect 3 writer Chris Hepler, the end of Shepard’s story could have been radically different. 

Hepler started working on Mass Effect right at the beginning. Although he wasn’t formally part of the team yet, he did additional design, chipped in for playtesting, and offered a fair amount of writing feedback during development of the first game. He had a much more active role on Mass Effect 2, writing the Codex entries, the Galaxy Map, and spearheading the Cerberus Daily News initiative. By the time Mass Effect 3 rolled around, Hepler was writing EDI, Thane, Citadel missions, and was generally considered to be the project’s “loremaster.”

“The ending relies on space magic, and the lead writer, lead gameplay designer, and executive producer all just embraced that and owned it from the get-go,” Hepler tells me. “‘Any sufficiently advanced technology’ and all that. They wanted and got a really big decision that affects the whole galaxy. If you give it a moment's thought, none of the three options are perfectly moral or the ‘right’ answer for everyone. Destroy may not solve the problem of AI and organics; Control rewards the Reapers; even Synthesis, which is harder to get than the other two and sounds like it'd be permanent peace, basically violates the entire galaxy's bodily autonomy without consent. So that part, I think, works.

“Did it satisfy the fans? Hell, no, not at first, and I found a lot of the criticism to be legitimate. The Extended Cut gave us a second chance to make an ending that acknowledged many more of the players' choices, and was about as good as we could reasonably make given the decisions we'd already made. I felt a lot better about myself and us as a team after the EC came out.”

Hepler explains that fans had observed several hints throughout the trilogy that pointed in completely different directions. For example, there are aspects of the lore that actually lean towards the Citadel species allying with the Reapers in order to collectively tackle a dark energy anomaly, as opposed to the Reapers remaining as the Big Bad right up until credits roll. Hepler confirms that there are explicit lore details that lean into this idea, but that he never personally heard about capitalizing on them. Remember, this is coming from the Mass Effect loremaster - if he says there is lore to back up a dark energy anomaly that only the Reapers can save us from, it certainly exists.

“Now, what would I have done?” Hepler asks. “I wouldn't have done space magic at all. I planned to write three Codex entries on the Crucible rather than one, reflecting on what scientists think it is at first, what it appears to be once construction has really made progress, and a third detailing how it will kill the Reapers, readable right before you return to Earth.”

Hepler explains that he wanted to take inspiration from Nancy Kress’ novel, Probability Moon, in order to have the Crucible use a strong nuclear force as a weapon. Kress’ superweapon is designed to create a massive burst of energy that is completely harmless for objects that have a low atomic weight, like organic flesh made of carbon chains. This means that the vast majority of Citadel species would be virtually unaffected by a blast from this weapon.

Objects with a much higher atomic number, however, would be annihilated by the beam. This weapon is constructed in such a way that it emits life-killing radiation for anything made up of heavy metals. “So cybernetic creatures like the Reapers and husks would have their organic parts fried because they're right next to the heavy metals, but the organic creatures a safe distance away, like a civilian population, would be just fine,” Hepler says.

“The rebuilt Shepard, who had a fair bit of cybernetics, would die heroically, but that was always likely to be on the cards. In talking with Ann Lemay, another writer on the project, we theorized that the metal most likely to be the atomic weight cut-off-point was niobium, which today is used in piercings and surgical implants because it doesn't rust and you can embed it in flesh without ill effects. It's even blue when exposed to oxygen, like the glowing blue husks we've been fighting since [the first] Mass Effect. So it would make sense as a building block for the Reapers and their ultimate weakness.”

So, what happened? Unfortunately, Hepler never got to pitch his ending. The design leads moved lightning quick with their Destroy/Control/Synthesis trifecta, to the point that the whole premise had been approved before Hepler even got around to finishing his second Codex entry. As a result, he hadn’t got a full description of how this pertained to the entire galaxy yet - although looking at it now, it could have borrowed from the best bits of each ending. The Reapers would be neutralized, but the tech would be there. Given that Mass Effect is largely about the coexistence of humans and cybernetic creatures, it would also have had an impact on other aspects of the universe - what would happen to EDI?

“I [also] had some concern that Nancy Kress might notice and sue us if I didn't do my homework,” Hepler says. “And there was no time to do that homework, which would be me telling all the leads to hold off for a week while I exchanged a crap-ton of emails with my subject matter experts. ‘Sufficiently advanced technology indistinguishable from magic’ was far easier and had much more project momentum. “I recycled some of the strong-force-as-a-weapon tech into the Reaper infantry weapon, the Blackstar. In retrospect, I wish I'd spoken up more, or thought it all out faster, but them's the breaks.”

As well as Hepler’s own ending - which obviously never made it into the final game, despite sounding as if it had a lot more hard science behind it - Hepler is a big fan of the popular Indoctrination Theory. However, he was pretty open about the fact that this wasn’t something BioWare consciously designed.

“The Indoctrination Theory is a really interesting theory, but it's entirely created by the fans,” Hepler says. “While we made some of the ending a little trippy because Shepard is a breath away from dying and it's entirely possible there's some subconscious power to the kid's words, we never had the sort of meetings you'd need to have to properly seed it through the game.

“We weren't that smart. By all means, make mods and write fanfic about it, and enjoy whatever floats your boat, because it's a cool way to interpret the game. But it wasn't our intention. We didn't write that.”

[source]

#bioware #mass effect #video games #long post #longpost

[seyaryminamoto]

Do you think canon Zuko has any understanding of the idea of duty? That he, especially given that he aspires to political power, should act like his status as Prince gives him certain responsibilities? That doing what's best for the for Fire Nation or the world might require him to do things which make him unhappy or uncomfortable or require him to make grave personal sacrifices? Does he even understand duty as a concept?

Oof. Complicated questions, thus, this sat in my inbox for a veeeery long time.

I honestly, seriously, genuinely... don't think Zuko truly understood, at any point in canon, what it really meant to be a leader. I know many of us (and I think you, too?) don't particularly like the comics, but in my opinion, The Promise did a surprisingly decent job at highlighting several problems left in the wake of the end of the war, and perhaps unintentionally, this is one of the problems: upon becoming Fire Lord, Zuko is remarkably erratic, unsure of his choices, even seeking advice from his FATHER, of all people, because he has no idea what he's doing.

In the most favorable possible view of Iroh, he taught Zuko to be a better person. I don't entirely adscribe to this belief, but fine, let's concede that he did, or else this answer would never end: not just because you're a good person, however, are you guaranteed to be a good leader. Zuko, as we both know, is far from the best person in the world, and he is prone to making impulsive, emotional mistakes that can cause harm and trouble, and typically, Zuko doesn't face the consequences of most his actions, or the narrative just pins the blame on someone else. When we see this sort of behavior in a real-life politician, the immediate reaction we would have is "this guy is awful at his job", and sadly, I find myself thinking that quite often when it comes to Zuko's canon tenure as Fire Lord.

So... what is Zuko's concept of duty? Going by his pursuit of Aang in the first two seasons, duty is a task given to him by someone whose approval he seeks (in this case, Ozai) and he must pull it off, no matter what, to gain said approval. By Book 3, this logic still applies fairly easily to how Zuko acts over Iroh: I've highlighted in the past that the main motivation for Zuko's redemption is Iroh, doing right by Iroh, making amends to Iroh, regretting how he treated Iroh. He points that out explicitly in Ember Island Players, he does it as well indirectly by bringing up Iroh first of all, when confronting Ozai: this is his main priority. Ergo... I'd honestly say it's safe to judge that this is what Zuko regards as duty, as what he has to do. Iroh wants him to be Fire Lord? That's exactly what he becomes. The difficulties and complications in this particular line of work are taken for granted, and so, we have an outcome that was remarkably well depicted in The Promise, despite that comic's many glaring flaws: Zuko gets swept back and forth, twisted left and right by all the pressures and responsibilities, because he has no idea what he's doing as Fire Lord, and no idea/experience in how to be a real leader.

As far as I can tell, the core of the matter is that nobody really seems to have taken Zuko all that seriously as future Fire Lord. Ozai, evidently, wasn't training Zuko to be his personal heir. Ozai himself is a questionable source of information regarding learning what it means to be Fire Lord, considering he, as well, wasn't raised to take that role, just as he didn't raise Zuko for it. Yet Iroh didn't exactly teach Zuko how to lead anyone either, as far as I can tell: his lessons were meant to be of a more personal nature, and even then, Zuko had lots of trouble accepting most of them. Iroh's firebending lessons to Zuko were typically stunted in the basics because he was hot-headed and rash about getting to the intense and interesting stuff...

So: neither Ozai nor Iroh gave Zuko actual responsibilities. Ozai gave him a punishment Zuko was trying to endure however possible, a punishment he wanted to prove himself unworthy of by finding the Avatar and "regaining his honor". Then, Iroh punished Zuko as well by giving him the cold shoulder in Book 3, then he escaped and Zuko did everything he did, after betraying Ozai, to prove himself worthy of Iroh's kindness once again. It's not actual duty, the way it is in Azula's case: no doubt, Azula wants Ozai's approval too, but she has the madman's trust when it comes to finding her brother and uncle, to taking down the Avatar, and to conquering Ba Sing Se, as far as anyone can tell. I do doubt Ozai gave her all these missions at once, but he gave her the resources through which she pulled off ALL of them: she had the firebending procession, she had a ship, she had a train-tank, she had mounts... Zuko had a rundown ship that looked like a 1:10 scale version of every other ship in the harbor back in the very third episode: he was being punished. In contrast, Azula is entrusted with a mission, with LEADERSHIP, while Zuko has no visible, tangible, objective experience with the latter (consider how Azula steals the Dai Li's loyalty from under Long Feng: when did we see Zuko pulling off something like this? Even with Jet, Zuko was more of an associate to the Freedom Fighters, and Jet was still the leader).

I've always thought Zuko wasn't prepared to be Fire Lord, and the main reasons are the ones you indirectly point out through this ask: Zuko doesn't seem to treat the throne as a responsibility, but as his right. I won't get tired of pointing out that this was NOT Zuko's birthright, he was NOT born thinking he'd be Fire Lord: he was born to the second branch in the Fire Nation family. We literally SEE the day in which Lu Ten's death is revealed to him. According to somewhat official sources? He's ELEVEN in Zuko Alone's flashbacks. I, personally, think he looks a little younger than that, but I think that's the official wikia age, no idea where they got that info but that's what it says. Meaning...

Zuko, objectively, only had been crown prince for FIVE YEARS.

Zuko was NOT raised, not by his mother, not by his father, with the belief that the throne would one day be his (Ursa is gone before Ozai is crowned and Ozai clearly wanted Azula for the job rather than Zuko).

And yet, when you backtrack to the show? It seriously looks like that was the case. He clings to the throne in Books 1 and 2 as though he had no other purpose in life, as though this was everything that was promised to him (in contrast, Azula only ever indicates wanting the throne in Sozin's Comet: Part One). Even when he's an outlaw, discarded and cast out, he STILL talks about the throne, as though most his identity were built upon the notion that he must become Fire Lord: why? How come? Within five years, he's crafted his entire existence around being the heir to the throne? That's... a bit weird.

And a bit wishful, too. Which is why I commend that the comics show him struggling as Fire Lord, if anything they should've had him struggling MORE than that, because Zuko is simply NOT prepared for these responsibilities. He never gave any indication, any sign, of seeing it as such. He sees it as his right, his birthRIGHT. Why? Why more people don't ponder how utterly strange this behavior is, beats me. But it really does bother me that Zuko built his entire existence around being Fire Lord in a very similar way to how Korra built her own about being the Avatar. I have very little praise to give LOK in general, but the premise of Korra learning she was a person, a human, and not just the Avatar felt like the perfect parallel to Aang's story, where he was very much anchored in his humility and belief that he was just "one kid", and his rejection of his duties as the Avatar was meant to change gradually as he learned to accept himself as he was. Korra, however, never fully hit the mark with this subject, in my personal opinion... much as Zuko doesn't hit the mark either, since the show's only direct attempt to "deconstrue" Zuko's clinging to the throne happens in one dialogue, and his attachment to the idea is built up again, right afterwards:

Zuko: And then ... then you would come and take your rightful place on the throne? Iroh: No. Someone new must take the throne. An idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor. It has to be you, Prince Zuko. Zuko: Unquestionable honor? But I've made so many mistakes. Iroh: Yes, you have. You've struggled; you've suffered, but you have always followed your own path. You restored your own honor, and only you can restore the honor of the Fire Nation. Zuko: I'll try, Uncle.

And there we have it. The only point in the show (that I can remember) where Zuko seemed to not feel worthy of the throne and questioned he should be the one sitting on it (RIGHTFULLY!), buuuuuuuut he goes right back to wanting it, right afterwards, based on how this single exchange was enough for him to be 100% determined to take down his sister, merely a few lines later.

As for his willingness to make personal sacrifices... some might say he was outright willing to die for Katara in the finale -- though I'll point out he was trying to redirect the lightning anyway, didn't do it as well as he should have, but he wasn't exactly, consciously, trying to DIE for her... --, some might say that he left Mai behind in the FIre Nation, and that as well was a sacrifice... but was it? We don't see him missing her, or suffering about her fate, at any point in time after SHE sacrifices herself for him in the Boiling Rock (my biggest gripe over this particular canon couple is this, tbh). I feel like the show generally presents Zuko's situation as somewhat... self-sacrificial? Especially in Books 1 and 2, and yet that's really not the case: it isn't Zuko himself who makes the choice of traveling to find Aang, it's a punishment inflicted upon him.

This particular view upon his circumstances makes it so Zuko is never responsible for... well, any of his choices? It's always someone else's fault, therefore, whatever he suffers through, there's always someone he can (and usually does) resent for it. Therefore... I can't genuinely think of anything Zuko sacrificed in order to come as far as he did. He was forced to let go of things by his father, typically, by Zhao as well, maybe, but even then, it's not like we saw that he has a super healthy and happy relationship with, I don't know, Earth Kingdom people (his only meaningful positive EK bond was with Jin, which went nowhere and goes forgotten after a single mini episode)? The Palace staff? The commoners of the Fire Nation (they just treat him like a hero and he seems awkward and distant about it anyway, like he can really just do without their worship)? He doesn't have other friends beyond Azula's own friends... thus, he doesn't sacrifice anything that really matters. And in a sense, some people might say he doesn't have to sacrifice anything at all: he already went through so much strife and struggle that why would he need to sacrifice anything else? But the thing is... you DO have to learn to make such sacrifices if you're going to be a good king.

So often, people who devote themselves to their jobs have to consciously neglect their families, to name one thing: Zuko neglects Mai and she explodes at him for it in The Promise, then he just tries to get her back at all costs in Smoke & Shadow, with no thoughts given to the fact that maybe he isn't ready to juggle both a relationship and the throne, that maybe Mai could be happier with someone other than him, someone who can give her the attention and relationship she's looking for... THOSE are the sacrifices I'd be referring to, personally, sacrifices where his happiness and peace of mind have to be set aside for the sake of something much more important than himself, and I expect that's the kind of sacrifices you're referring to, too. I seriously don't think he's ready to make them, and with the comics as reference, there's seriously no evidence to suggest he's prepared to accept these burdens that come with the heavy mantle of leadership and ruling. I've never seen any signs of him being ready for it, myself. Maybe I need to reexamine the show and see if maybe I'm missing something... but I don't really think I am.

The worst part, for me, is that Zuko isn't even doing the bulk of the things he's doing in pursuit of genuine happiness: he's doing it over a sense of destiny. He never stops to reason with that destiny, to wonder if maybe he doesn't need to be Fire Lord, if maybe he could have a life beyond that role. Book 2 veeeery briefly suggests he MIGHT be on his way to questioning that destiny, but as I've said before, I don't see the sense in Zuko's big change of heart after the Appa incident considering we don't really understand what he's learned, other than how to be the perfect nephew for Iroh, apparently. Zuko never really is happy, as he says in the show: his happiest moments are with Mai and they're only like a 25% of his relationship with her, everything else is a mess (and his relationship with her isn't exactly the core of his character, either). So, the way I see it... Zuko is even worse off than it looks at first glance. He's out to fulfill a destiny he has never stopped to reason with, a destiny he's 100% sure is his, despite he has only been on that path, objectively, for five years? Despite he wasn't raised all along under the belief that this was what he was supposed to be? If given a chance to be genuinely happy, what on earth would he even do? A lot of the growth I gave him in Gladiator was based on that particular question: is the throne really what Zuko needs to be happy? It doesn't look like it, even in canon. If it's not... then it's not happiness he seeks, it's some sort of sense of assurance that he's doing the right thing, according to the figure of authority he follows at a set point in time: by Book 3, said authority is Iroh, and Iroh wants him on the throne. His motivation, as far as I can see it, is as simple as that.

Long story short... I don't think Zuko really has a strong grasp on many concepts that he absolutely should have reasoned with and worked out in order to become Fire Lord. In a sense, he's way too young for the role he's given, for the heavy burdens he has to deal with, and I'll NEVER see the sense in not having Iroh taking the throne (beyond how "poetic" the creators and writers found it to crown Zuko to finish his story, of course), at least for a short time, before Zuko can be ready. This is exactly why I wrote things that way in my oneshot where Azula takes Zuko's role, more or less: Iroh serves as regent while Azula prepares for taking the full role of Fire Lord when she's ready. I love her, she's awesome, I absolutely adore her character... but I don't think an Azula who was sidelined and sent on a long voyage with her uncle for YEARS could possibly be ready for the responsibilities of being Fire Lord right away.

Meanwhile? Iroh was given leadership of military missions enough times that he became a general in the Fire Nation forces. By all evidence, he was Fire Lord Azulon's pampered and spoiled son, whom he DID prepare for the duties of a Fire Lord for as long as Iroh was born: Iroh literally had fifty-ish years of preparation, as far as I can tell? How is he NOT the better suited person to take the throne, if just temporarily, while his nephew learns what it really means to rule by watching him, or by maybe learning leadership by managing smaller duties first, a specific town or city, and then putting his knowledge to good use by becoming Fire Lord properly?

Eh... because it wouldn't be an epic enough finale for the show, I suppose. That's the only answer I can find for this particular question.

So... yeah. That got long :'D but in short... I don't think Zuko has a strong grasp on responsibility and duty, let alone on the burdens inherent to these concepts. Yet more reasons why his character's arc can't hit all the marks it should, imo, to make it as great as the whole fandom is already convinced it is.

#zuko-always-lies #more zuko meta #and it got long #:'D #if anyone needs a read more #let me know and I'll add it #but for now #it is what it is #you know it really is sad to write all this when I'm more or less making peace with Zuko via Gladiator #and actually making him reason with soooo much stuff #that he never really had to in the show #*siiiiigh* #he'll never be my fav #that much is obvious #but he could be MORE #and it's sad that he's not #very sad