#fan writer

[hecalledme-jagi]

The Ponderings of a Man In Love

I've had this FanLore for Zen strewing in my brain for a little over a year and finally decided to write it out into a one shot!

Enjoy!

What does it mean to experience first love? 

Zen wondered as he watched you doze off beside him to the sound of a movie you both had forgotten about halfway through. He smiled to himself softly, gently brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen over your face, planting a tender kiss on the top of your head. The comforting gesture caused you to snuggle further into his side, cozy and loved. Treasured and wanted.

Zen often thought about the meaning of first love when he was with you. He always felt a pang of guilt over dating other girls before you, even if you weren't bothered by it. He knew you were his yesterday, today, and tomorrow--his dusk and dawn. His moon and stars--leaving him with the fact that you weren't his first, which felt wrong in every way imaginable. So there he sat wondering, and really pondering, what it meant to experience first love. Had he experienced it before? If so, that idea devastated him, leaving his heart aching, poking, splintering, and desperately wanting your comforting. Hoping all his wondering meant nothing. 

He snuggled in close, soaking in your warmth, soothing his self-inflicted wounds, nuzzling your hair, blinking back the sting of tears.

Slowly he doze off to the sound of your steady breathing, calming his anxiety. Slowly learning to bask in the simple pleasures of a quiet evening. 

His breathing steadied, finding rhythm with your own, and in complete unison, your chests rose and fell. 

He found his peace in his small basement apartment.

But absolutely and entirely, he found his peace here with you.

And in his slumber, there came a dream. Or, more accurately, a nearly forgotten memory.

Zen was younger here, much younger than you knew him now. His hair barely reached past his shoulders, fashioned into something of a mullet. His leather jacket just a size too big, but in a year's time, it would fit him perfectly. And he stood in a place filled with familiarity. His secret mountain hideout. The view was the same as it had always been, and somehow, that comforted the young boy, here now, and the man he would come to be. 

The cold evening air nipped at his cheeks and nose, a gentle breeze passing through his hair with the faint smell of cigarette smoke. Following the scent with his eyes and nose, he found a scene this young boy very well knew but was far from the scene his adult counterpart adored. There stood a girl who simply wasn't you.

Ji-an, a younger, much more boyish Hyun, recognized with an air of giddiness coating his thoughts, and in like manner, she was viewed with rose-tinted glasses. 

He admired her long black hair as it gently swayed in the passing breeze, her sharp and unusually dark eyes staring down at the view he found so much comfort in, reflecting nothing of the setting sun or the city lights flickering on one at a time. And her lips turned in a slight frown with a lit cigarette in hand. Ji-an was a girl made entirely of mysterious beauty, and for a long time, Hyun might've considered her the most beautiful girl he'd ever met. She was in the same gang as Zen, that's how they had met. She was older than him, but only slightly, maybe sixteen or seventeen. She was a force to be reconned with, a calm before a storm. Freedom and rebellion. Anger and desperation. Loneliness and devastation. But other than that, she was a total mystery. Hyun never knew more about her than she let him see, and maybe that was part of why he clung to her so helplessly. Or maybe it was because he envied her and how free she seemed to be. Maybe he wanted to live reckless abandoned where he was allowed to be who he wanted to be, the way Ji-an seemed to. Or maybe it was because bad habits always seemed more attractive than good ones at the start.

Ji-an sucked on her cigarette, holding the smoke in her throat until it burned. 

“You know,” she began as she turned to look at Hyun, “I think if we had met before everything hit the fan, I would’ve fallen in love with you for real.”

Hyun watched and admired the rugged elegance she exuded. Marvalling, despite how her words cut him deeply. His heart secretly wondering--when will anyone ever truly love me?

“For one thing, you’re a real looker,” she leaned in and kissed Hyun's lips softly, leaving the faintest taste of cigarette smoke and strawberry lip balm on the tip of his tongue. 

Is that all I'll ever be? A pretty face barely worth loving? Another secret wonder he wouldn't discover until much later.

“You’re not so bad of a guy either,” she reached out, with her free hand and gently played with the fringe that hung over his forehead. “If I wasn’t so damaged, I’d probably be able to appreciate that heart of yours,” she poked his chest playfully and with a tone of self-mockery, sucking another puff of cigarette tar into her lungs. 

“But instead, here I am, giving you cigarettes, beer, and bad memories,” she scoffed. 

Hyun took a step closer to Ji-an, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with her. He peered into her face, hoping to read the meaning in her words by seeing her expression more clearly, but there was nothing he could see. Her eyes continued to stare dispassionately at the scenic view, and not for a moment did she meet his searching gaze, nor did she acknowledge his presence at her side. Instead, her brow furrowed, and irritation fizzled in her vacant eyes.

"We shouldn't have met," she said, tossing her cigarette onto the ground and stomping it out under her boots. 

Hyun felt his heart drop.

Ji-an turned on her heels and walked towards her motorcycle.

"W.. wait! Ji-an, where are you going?" He called.

There was no answer except the loud roar of a motorcycle engine starting.

"Ji-an!"

She paused, looking towards Hyun, with more emotion in her eyes than Hyun had ever seen before, "Get out of here. Become something." 

And that was it. 

She rode off, the rumbling of her motorcycle fading the farther she got. And Hyun could only watch, confused, lost, and entirely too alone for a boy his age.

Zen jolted awake, beads of cold sweat running down his back and his heart dropping into his stomach, leaving his chest feeling hollow and unbearably lonely until he heard you.

"Hyun?" you said, coming back into the living room with a glass of water, "Are you okay?"

He looked at you, and the frenzy in his eyes became calm. A deep breath entered his lungs, and it was exhaled smoothly.

And that's when his wondering all made sense. 

Zen realized it then as his hysteria calmed at the mere sight of you. He knew then that perhaps in all possibility, before you came and before he had forgotten what life was like in your absence, he would've considered Ji-an his first love experience. And in some way, maybe she was. Maybe she was his first love, but that thought didn't seem to bother him so much anymore. Because maybe love was more about changing than firsts and lasts. 

(Although, admittedly, he was perfectly enchanted by the idea that you would be his last. You would hold all his ending chapters, and perhaps, that was far more important than keeping all his opening phrases.)

Ji-an encouraged his flaws but neglected his strengths. He knew now that they were bad for each other, beasts ravenously hungry for love and acceptance. In love with their shared self-pity. Wanting each other because of the addictive nature of cigarettes, loving the nicotine clinging to their clothes and mingling in their mouths. Loving the faint taste of strawberries after every kiss that made the bitter taste of tobacco seem pleasant and sweet. But even still, she inspired his drive for freedom.

And you? You came and captivated him.

You nurtured his strengths and loved his flaws, and for that, he loved you, but as his feelings began to grow, he wanted to be better for you. He wanted to change. So maybe, just maybe, it was for the best that you came at this moment in his life. You came at the point in his life when he still had room to grow but was mature enough to treasure you wholeheartedly. Perhaps now was the best time to love you--not to say it was the only time he could love you, nor was it the perfect time, for he knew that if he had met you ten years ago or ten years from now, he'd be ready to love you precisely and honestly--so now as Zen looks at you, finally finding his moment of lost peace, he realizes that all this wondering about "first love" was for not because all that matters is that he loves you.

Zen nods, gently grabbing at your waist and pulling you in. He rests his forehead against your torso, hugging your waist tightly.

 "Never better, honey~"

˚✧₊⁎𝒥𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑎⁎⁺˳✧༚

I do not own any characters, all ownership goes to Cheritz. Thanks for reading!

#my writing #fiction #mystic messenger #hyun ryu #zen mystic messenger #zen mm #zen x mc #zen x reader #zenny #angst oneshot #mystic messenger zen #mysmes #cheritz #one shot #zen angst #first love #mm fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom #fanlore #fan headcanons #Zen fan lore #mystic messenger fan lore #zen hyun ryu #zen headcanons #fan writer #lovely zen #zen the night #zen the knight

[obsessed-sketches]

As a writer I constantly find myself struggling with figuring out what to actually write. For the past few months before I was obsessed with Spiderverse I really struggled with writing at all because of lack of inspiration. I found myself despising the idea of creative writing because it just didn’t give me joy anymore without the constant flow of inspiration. Plus dealing with self esteem issues and not getting a ADHD diagnosis didn’t help. And now that I’m obsessed with spiderverse I find myself finally getting the dopemine boost I needed for so long.

EXCEPT SPIDERVERSE IS SUCH A PERFECT MOVIE THAT I CANT WRITE ANYTHING ABOUT IT. There nothing left to expand on!! (For me at least)

It is a sad moment for me 😔

however fanart is always an option.

#accross the spiderverse #atsv #across the spiderverse #spiderverse #adhd #adhdlife #beyond the spiderverse #spiderverse art #spiderverse writing #Writer #fan writer #fanartist

[gamerbot-22]

I’ve spent so long writing my own lore for Obey Me to fill in gaps that I have a like. Myriad of reactions to learning new information.

1. [canon information] is good! I’ll use that instead, it makes my writing so much easier cause now I have answers that I didn’t a while ago. (Nightbringer has been SO HELPFUL with characterization notes for the brothers early on)

2. [canon information] is… whatever. I rewrote over this scene anyways, so this doesn’t affect me at all and I’ll keep what I have for now. (There’s a handful of plot beats in the original game that I’m just not a huge fan/haven’t gotten to yet so I just have notes to fill the gap and will either keep or toss them as I read.)

3. [canon information] is wrong! Since when did that character’s name change, I— oh wait. Wait hang on. No that’s the canon name, I just had a different name for him in my notes. Well then. Carry on I guess, I’ll have to keep that in mind— (Good example of this is that Nightbringer might have just named the Demon King finally, but I already had a name picked out for him that I’ve been calling him for maybe 6 months. There’s also a ton of other hunks of information in my head that don’t match up with canon and I’ll forget isn’t correct, although some of them I’m unsure of because the story changes in-canon sometimes.)

4. I really don’t like [canon information] but it’s so minor I can just change the wording. (Only example I can think of is Diavolo using Lilith’s death as a bargaining chip to get Lucifer to swear loyalty to him. I’m not a fan of that plot beat so I just have it be that he offered to do it anyways and Lucifer swore loyalty to him on his own as non-necessary repayment.)

#the curse of being a writer for this game— #I have a whole backstory thing planned out with a bunch of fan characters to fill it out #Just cause I’m starved for lore #I like getting to kiss these boys and see them be silly #But I’m autistic in an English Student way #And when I see gaps I want them filled #That’s what she said #Anyways— #Obey Me! #Obey Me! Shall We Date #Obey Me! Nightbringer #Fan writer #Rosie Rambles

[psychoteacher90]

I have a question for the fanwriters on this website. I probably already know the answer given the whole Goncharov thing but let's see what you think anyway!

I was discussing sequels/prequels/spinoffs with some friends the other day and how terrible they generally are and I said that they wouldn't even need to work that hard to make a good sequel/prequel/spinoff. Just go on Ao3, find a good fanfiction and ask the writer if you can use it with due credits, of course. If someone asked me to turn one of my fanfictions into a script for the movie/game/book/tv show I love I would even do it for free!

Would you do it, though? Would you accept to turn your fanfiction into canon?

#ao3 #fan fiction #fan writing #sequel #prequel #spinoff #fan writer

[sylvies-kablooie]

i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.

#i often wonder about how many things would be considered classic or high art had they only received the marketing #how many short films that were made for class could have been the most powerful thing you'd ever seen? if you'd seen them? #“you know the greatest films of all time were never made” etc etc #but like. these works of art ARE being made. it's just enjoyed by a smaller audience with equal impact though #i think about this one furry i used to follow on insta who had the coolest worldbuilding ever. it's been years. #thought prompted by that sketch of nimona from ten years ago that was just for a character design #posted to the creator's tumblr and now it's nominated for best animated feature film at the oscars #and by the genuine emotional reaction a fan comic made me feel. how much work had gone into it. how beautiful it was to me. #idk what to tag this but i hope whoever needs to hear it does #writing #writer #fandom #fandom culture #artist

[bluejay757]

#ao3fic #ao3 #ao3 memes #fan fiction #fan fic writing #fan fic writers #fan fiction memes #those 16 bookmarks mean the world to me #this is literally me

[bloodybellycomb]

One massive, legitimate way to improve as a writer or artist or in any creative endeavor really, is to become absolutely obsessed with something and to allow yourself to be weird about it. Genuinely mean this btw.

#dc comics #disco elysium #shakespeare #hamlet #scott pilgrim #<- all this things have made me a better #writer and artist for both fan creation #and for my own original work #literal life hack #allow yourself to become obsessive and cringe to a certain degree #birdy chirps

[toointojoelmiller]

better than drugs

#ao3 #nothing better #I wish I could snort this feeling #fan fic writers #fan fic readers #tlou fandom

[thisnightissparkling089]

A friend sent this to me today and I feel attacked😅

#chenford #the rookie #fanfiction #ao3 #fanfic #fan fiction #a03 fanfic #ao3 fic #read on ao3 #archive of our own #writing problems #writers of tumblr

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Just opened my fic document and found this

Thanks, past me. Incredibly helpful.

#fan fic writing #fan fic ideas #kanej fic #six of crows fic #soc fic #maya Olsen oc #writeblr #writing #writer problems

[defnotmadie]

the one thing i want to be able to do as a writer is make people come back to something ive written. i want that piece of text to haunt them, i want their thoughts to be briefly consumed by this. i want this to be something they remember long after its time. thats the one thing i want to do

#madie rambles #rambles #ramblings #fan fic writing #writer things #writblr #writeblr #writerscommunity #writing #writing goals

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

ICYMI, there was fear that companies were scraping public AO3 fics to train their AI without the consent of AO3 or its users. That fear has been confirmed.

AO3 has written about what they’re doing (and what they’re not able to do), and they recommend restricting your work to AO3 registered users only. [Instructions here]

This gross misuse of the archive by techbros is why I’ve locked down my fics for the foreseeable future. I recommend the rest of you do the same.

#fanfic writer problems #AO3 #fanfic #fan fiction

[reidiot]

don't fucking interrupt me when i'm reading my x reader fics it's rude

#× reader #fan fiction #tumblr writing community #tumblr writers #fics #fanfic #wattpad #stories #fandom #booklr #reading #fangirling #spencer reid x reader #stiles stilinski x reader #rafe cameron x reader #spencer reid #stiles stilinski #rafe cameron #imagine #short story #one shot #author #ao3 #recommend me stuff #female hysteria #girlblogging #gaslight gatekeep girlboss #girl interrupted #x reader #writers on tumblr

[patronsaintofhomosandpain]

Psst hey!! Over here!

Fic writers and original story writers are the same!

Writing fanfics doesn't make you any less of a writer!

Yall are just gatekeepers. Stop being assholes. There's room for everyone!

#writeblr #writerscommunity #writers #writers on tumblr #writerslife #writing #writblr #writer things #writerscorner #book blog #fic #fan fiction #fanfic #fan fic writing #fan fic stuff #thats that on that #gabyrels grumbles

[tethered-heartstrings]

#fanfic #fanfiction #fanart #fanartists #fanfic writers #fan fiction #fan art #the speaking clown

[alex-wrtng]

Dialogue tips that actually work:

You are not writing a movie (ignore this if you are). The reader doesn't need to know every word the characters say for the duration of the story. Less is more.

Dialogue can happen within the prose. "And they awkwardky discussed the weather for five minutes" is way better than actually writing five pages of dialogue about the weather.

Balance your dialogues. Surprise yourself with a monosyllabic answe to a dialogue that's ten sentences long. Don't be afraid of letting your character use half a page for a reply or nothing at all!

Don't write accents phonetically, use slang and colloquialisms if needed.

Comma before "said" and no caps after "!?" unless it's an action tag. Study dialogue punctuation.

Learn the difference between action tags and dialogue tags. Then, use them interchangeably (or none at all).

Don't be afraid to use said. Use said if characters are just saying things, use another word if not. Simple. There's no need to use fancy synonyms unless absolutely necessary.

Not everyone talks the same way so it makes sense for your characters to use certain words more often than others. Think of someone who says "like" to start every sentence or someone who talks really slow. Be creative.

Use prose to slow down the pace during a conversation.

Skip prose to speed up the pace during a conversation.

#writing #fiction #writeblr #writers #amwriting #writing problems #fan fiction #amediting #books #creative writing #dialogue writing #dialogue #character tropes #character design