there’s a boat stuck in the suez canal.
it used to be stuck there because it was physically stuck, it had jammed itself into the canal wall during a sandstorm and couldn’t get out of the bank. It held up loads of traffic, and everyone had a good laugh, because damn, for once we can laugh about a big disruption and funny situation where nobody dies or is seriously injured.
they unstuck it from the bank some time ago. but they didn’t unstick it from the canal, because it caused so many companies to lose money that it’s forbidden to leave the canal until the company pays a fine.
which is, obviously, even funnier at first. get the boat unstuck, make it stuck again. the punishment for getting unstuck after about a week in the canal is to... make you stay in the canal longer.
and then I think about it a little more and yeah, it’s still funny but there’s something else too. something deeper. something different.
we are the ever given.
we have three choices, except we’re not the ones who get to make the choice. we can stay stuck in the canal or we can get out and pay the price for it.
stay stuck in the canal, stay poor, stay out on the streets. stay working a minimum-wage job, without basic respect that everyone deserves, stay down, keep your head low, you made your bed now lie in it.
or you can get out, if you’re lucky and work real real hard. get a high-stakes, high-paying job. get a nice house and get a car and health insurance and what the hell, maybe a sweet upper-middle-class suburban family. and then your insurance runs out because your job was too taxing on your health and you get sick and die because you can’t pay the bills anymore.
dead is dead is dead, they say. dead on the streets, dead in a hospital bed. you’re still dead. it doesn’t matter. but they’re wrong. dead isn’t dead because nobody dies. everyone is still alive in every little scrap of humanity. remove one little pebble and there goes the cave. there are people who you cannot kill. because they are alive in every part of what makes us human.
this is going way too out-of-whack for a metaphor about the human condition and the ludicrous incident of the boat in a canal, so let’s go back to where the ever given was us and we were the ever given.
the ever given isn’t a ship stuck in a canal, it’s a people stuck in a system that’s too narrow for them. the ever given will never die, even after it leaves the canal because the ghost of it will stay in us forever, reminding us who we were and who we might have become.
as long as the ever given is there, and we are the ever given, we live drifting between being trapped in the canal by force or trapped in the canal by ultimatum. either way we’re still stuck in the canal and the only way to get out is by leaving and then by digging out the banks of the canal and making it bigger and making the ships follow regulation so this never happens again to anyone and the ever given and by extension the human population can taste freedom and fairness again.
the ever given won’t leave the canal until we do. when that is, though, that’s up to us.
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Fuck me up! Why am I thinking about you? Maybe it was because you were my first girl...correction, my first woman I had anything with. You were the first to make me realize who I truly was, even when I was afraid to know that side of me. You knew what I was when you laid eyes on me and there are days I feel like you are the biggest lesson that came into my life…..even over my son’s father (because men are trivial when you simply gay).
YES! Gay...GAY AS FUCK. I love pussy. Eating it, fingering it, touching it, feeling the wetness on my finger as I feel all her walls. Suddenly when she is rubbing on me and I’m rubbing on her; her touch is ecstasy. A sweaty man on top of me while being inside of me….doesn’t do it for me anymore. My bisexual (defined ass) wants to have sex with a man a few more times before calling it quits. But I’m confident I know what I’m going to end up with. I smile more when it comes to women. I love seeing them, being around them...especially when I’m crushing. I’m not afraid of men like my sister. No...simply I am not into them. Don’t think I ever was.
But off that topic….. I’m back to thinking about you! Why?! I don’t know. Maybe it is because this “other air sign” that I’m fucking around with is driving me up the wall. So delicate in her feelings, and more confusing than you ever were. You were simple. Almost like those algebra equations that I liked to do sitting next to you while you are trying to catch up on sleep.
I let out a sigh as I’m sitting here at work, daydreaming about being with something easier and continue to figure out my feelings for this air sign woman. All I can do is keep moving. No need to look at the past.
But I must ask Cupid something…...what the fuck, man? Can you make this love game a little easier?
Thank you <3
I have a feeling I have to meet him in the middle. Damn Cupid.