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#excuse my messy drawing but i’m just bored
kissnpunch · 5 months
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we have new hints of q!roier after all these days, i’m gonna share what i can see after clearing a little bit the photos (photos from roier’s twitter btw), he wants us to know something more about his situation but not too much to find the real answer.
first, this is before the kidnap because his physical state is pretty good, q!roier said he was building something, doing something to find answers and find the islanders who were left in the egg island, that’s what the antenna is for. then there is some details i like to include but maybe is not the big deal, for example; q!roier view like what were you watching? the floor or a computer? because he’s sitting there in a black base, q!roier has experience with technology, we know this because he knew sofia and cucuruchito, this is part of something more that maybe got him in trouble.
and of course, the bad weather is a symbol on the quesadilla island for something bad is going to happen.
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i don’t know if the place is something important, or the perspective, after all if someone caught him doing that then they have to destroy any evidence to avoid any probability to another islander find this. this is not like the federation photos because this perspective is too close, these photos are for the spectators.
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cruciomee · 3 months
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Why do you like the Greens so much. You seem very kind and it’s weird to me you like the clear villains/usurpers of the story (especially because they die out).
Honestly, I would normally be upset at this kind of question simply because I hate discourse. I am a people pleaser & in my heart I want everyone to be happy in the fandom. So normally, I would ignore this but not gonna lie. This question was kind of funny.
First & foremost, I was really neutral before I joined Twitter. I did not care about the silly who has more right to rule nonsense. I read fire and blood before the show came & the only thing I was looking forward to was “The Battle Above the Gods Eye” & Sunfyre coming back (because that dragon comes back!) Characters on both sides were equally interesting, but also equally boring for me. It was a specific part of the fandom on twitter to turn me so team green
On a sheer engagement level I have found that anything I draw with team black does not get very much interaction. You would think that ifRhaenyra is the most popular character in the show, if you draw something of her you will get some from of engagement but that is most definitely not the case. so sometimes I wonder if she actually has fans or is this fandom just full of people looking for a fight & use her as their excuse. Either way, I like drawing team black characters but what’s the point if no one wants to actually see it.
Now onto my personal opinions, I like my favorite characters to suffer. I hate cookie cutter happy go lucky stuff. The better a character is made to seem the more I don’t care about them. They become extremely boring to me. Im someone who likes a messy character. The more toxic the person the better. just because I like that kind of character doesn’t mean it has any effect on me as an actual person. fiction is not the same as reality! I don’t like discord in reality, but I love it in fiction! I hate toxicity in reality, but I love it in fiction! Aegon ii is a pathetic trashcan & I love to see him suffer. I can’t wait to see him burnt & broken! I also can’t wait to see him force himself off of Milk of the poppy & for his dragon to come back to him against all odds. I’m so ready to see his death, he needs to be alone & miserable. The fact I’m a kind person who honestly loves drawing kids & family interactions more than anything has nothing to do with what I want to see/read. I read some crazy toxic fanfic & the character I like the most is always the one getting emotionally destroyed in them. Everyone has their thing that they are into & I would never judge them so why should you judge me for liking a bunch of miserable losers who wear green in a show about dragons fighting for no good reason other than on who has more privilege to sit on a metal chair made of swords.
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appleofthemoon · 1 year
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⸻   *  ❪  ❀  ...  CAT & MOUSE
premise. and just when jungwon thought it would be a boring night, another round of chase begins.
pairing. non-idol! yang jungwon x s/o! reader.
pantone. yandere.
word count. six hundred thirty four.
warning. overprotective yandere, possible allusion to drugging, the victim is addressed as a mouse, murder. 
note for the reader. the depiction of the muse does not reflect upon their behavior in the real world. the muse’s actions are also not condoned by me, this is all purely a work of fiction.
extra note. i haven’t written dark fics in over a month now so please excuse how rubbish this is. i’m using @/dear-yandere’s prompts as my warm ups.
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CURIOSITY WON'T KILL THE CAT.
jungwon knows because he's still alive, sitting by your side. and he's entertaining himself by watching the mouse drag herself across the floor, painting a messy, crimson trail as she does so. when she reaches the doorway, she manages to pull herself onto her knees and press one hand upon her wounded abdomen.
silly little thing, she believes she's going to escape. heaving herself upright proves to be a mistake after the pain surges through every nerve in her aching body. and in such agony, she couldn't bother suppressing her scream.
his lips twist into a frown. really, did she have to make so much noise? cleaning the dirty floor is already going to be a pain and a half, now—
you begin to stir, eyes almost fluttering open. that is, until jungwon's humming bleeds into your dream. combine his dulcet lullaby with his gentle caresses upon your skin, and you decide there's nothing wrong with staying under for a little longer. eventually, his fingers dance across your wrist until he feels your slow rhythm once more.
“that's it, baby.” he leans over and kisses your forehead. “sleep tight, i'll deal with our little annoyance.”
satisfied, the dyed noir cat carefully pushes his chair back and removes his dress shirt. as he had come to learn a few months ago, red doesn't let go of white so easily. oh well, at least he knows now. it'd be a shame if he had to destroy another article of clothing—especially when this was one you loved to ‘borrow’ from him.
he picks up his knife and leaves your bedroom, remembering to shut the door as he does so. don’t worry, he’ll clean up the mess later. now that he's sure you won't be disturbed, he's free to run around and look for the mouse.
by a stroke of luck, he finds her wobbling down another hallway. jungwon has to give it to her; she's lasted longer than the others. in fact, he's so impressed, he thinks about letting her go.
“where are you going? you can't run or hide~” he taunts her, the words chillingly echoing through the air.
she looks over her shoulder and sees him getting closer. fear is consuming her, yet she still pushes herself to make it down the hall. it doesn't matter if the pain increases tenfold, she picks up her pace.
by the time the mouse reaches the stairs, there's not much energy left in her. realizing this, she resigns herself to leaning against the wall, chest almost caving in on itself as she slurs, “i'm sorry.. please don't kill me..”
jungwon crouches down and innocently tilts his head to the side. “why not?”
“please.. please.. i won't tell anyone..”
“i see..”
“i.. i swear.. i'll do anything..”
“any~thing?”
“yesss..”
he seems to give it some thought. she really is fun to play with. it wouldn't be far off to say she's the best toy he's had in a while. perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to keep her a little longer..
he draws out a sigh. “but you came here to hurt my baby, don't think i forgot that.”
indeed, for some reason, her stupid mind conceived the idea that by doing so, the pain your rejection inflicted upon her will ebb.
so jungwon decides to test the theory for her. of course, he makes a few modifications before that.
“wh.. why-” is all she manages to choke out before her body falls slack, just like her heart's rhythm. without her hands weakly fighting to pull his knife away, he gives it a little extra twist.
the cat, now satisfied with the knowledge that his theory is correct, merely smiles and lifts his bloody hand to pat her head.
“because experimenting is fun.”
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riisume · 7 months
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Not So Tough (Original Characters)
Summary: Elliot McCarthy and Nox LeBlanc don't get along and were put on cleaning duty together and things take a turn.
A/N: I'm trying to draw less because my drive for it is low. But I have given myself permission to write til my heart's content as a creative outlet! So I decided to write a tk story with my ocs Elliot and Nox. I started it several months ago and finished it up today... '-' Decided to post it cuz I feel like this is the best thing I've written ever.
This is a tickle fic! If this isn’t your cup of tea, turn back now. :^) There is also swearing if you don't like that? Idk!
Word count: 2139
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Elliot disliked a lot of things.The list of things he disliked had exponentially increased during the time he was spending with The Resistance; The uncomfortable, pitiful excuse for furnishing in their underground quarters, the damp and musty smell that wafted through the halls, the people. The list went on. Charlie had promised that her group would be willing to help “he and his sibling return to their appropriate continuity”, but there was a whole lot of that not happening. Elliot was growing impatient. Especially because instead of being provided a way back home, the two would be put on duty for trivial tasks, which he hated the most.
One of today’s trivial tasks involved helping one of Elliot’s least favourite people in The Resistance tidy some of the rooms; Nox Leblanc. She was bossy, dramatic, and arrogant. A conglomerate of things that the young man found insufferable in a person. He hated working with her. Nox would always act like she was above him and scrutinize every little thing he messed up on or fumbled with and today was no exception.
Elliot was folding blankets while Nox was sweeping the wooden floor that was riddled with dust bunnies. Elliot wasn’t the best at folding blankets, not that he’d admit as much. At home, he’d resort to laying his blanket out over his mattress to avoid the having a quilt pathetically rolled up at the end of his bed. It wouldn’t be long before Nox would take notice of the clumsily folded up covers.
Feeling eyes boring into the back of his head, the blond sighed, already aggravated. Peering over his shoulder, he spotted the brunette woman with that same scrutinizing look, glaring at him as her green eyes flitted from him to the messy quilts. He couldn’t help but speak up.
“Look, if you’re gonna chew me out about how I should be doing something better or about how I’m fucking shit up, just do it already.” Elliot huffed. Nox’s eyes widened for a moment before they narrowed. Gripping the broom in her dainty hands, she stepped up to Elliot, almost challengingly.
“Well, since you asked, I should start by telling you you’re doin’ a piss poor job of folding the blankets.” She started, her tone as hoity toity as usual. “Honestly, Mommy and Daddy did a shit job teaching you such a basic skill.” A look of disdain crossed Elliot’s features. His parents were a touchy subject for him and June by extension. A quip burned on the tip of his tongue. It was a burning that he couldn’t ignore. Throwing down the blanket he was attempting to fold, he glowered at Nox, his hazel eyes meeting hers with an equally challenging look. When she didn’t so much as flinch at his glare, Elliot felt his resolve buckle.
“A-and Mommy and Daddy did just as much of a shit job of teaching you basic manners, huh?” Elliot’s voice shook, his stutter betraying him once again. He prayed. Begged to whatever cosmic or heavenly deity of this world that was listening to not let Nox catch that stammer… The corners of her lips quirked into a smug, amused smile. The gods weren’t listening… The woman couldn’t help but laugh into the back of her hand and the young man felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment.
“Oh, Elliot, sweetie. We all already know you’re not as tough as you make yourself out to be.” Nox idly toyed with her hair. He wasn’t entirely sure, but Elliot swore the cocky smirk plastered on her features widened once she noted his visible discomfort. Begrudgingly, the thin blond adjusted the beanie hat on his head before going to pick up the crumpled quilt he threw down.
“Whatever. I don’t even know what you’re talking about...” Muttering and turning his back on the other, Elliot shook off the clumps of dust that wasted no time clinging to the thick sheet during it’s time on the floor.
The taller woman seemed pleased that the bratty boy backed down without much of an issue. She had deduced a while ago that he wasn’t as confident as he seemed after observing him some, pushing buttons here and there, and challenging him at times. It was types like these that were usually trying to compensate for an insecurity or put up a defensive wall. After all, Nox would know how those types worked all too well from personal experience. Though, unlike Elliot, she had perfected her confidence. Solidified her defenses. Not much could penetrate them, much less someone with a weak will like her current cleaning partner.
Nox decided to keep pushing. She was having fun with him.
“You don’t?” The woman canted her head in mock confusion as she crept towards Elliot, dropping the broom she was holding to the floor. “Hm… That’s funny. I recall hearing that The Resistance’s favourite otherworldly, tough brat could be brought to his knees by the lightest of touches…” At that, she reached out, briskly walking her thin fingers along Elliot’s spine.
The reaction she received was far more entertaining than she ever could’ve hoped for; Elliot practically leapt out of his skin, a high-pitched shriek resonated from him that echoed down the halls of the base. He arched away so sharply that  Nox was almost convinced that his thin frame would’ve snapped in half, before he waved his arms behind him in a frantic attempt to shoo the woman away. That poor blanket was on the floor again.
“Agh! D-d-don’t do that!!” Elliot whipped around, immediately shielding himself with his arms. A look of amusement and intrigue made itself apparent on the green-eyed girl’s features as she stroked her chin.
“Aaaah, so the legends were true.” A mischievous glint in Nox’s eyes made a chill run up Elliot’s spine. “The younger McCarthy is suuuper ticklish..!”
Elliot hated that word; ‘Ticklish’ and all of it’s other iterations. It always embarrassed him because he knew he was hellishly so… Not that he’d ever admit it of course. He hated that he couldn’t stop his face from turning a deep shade of red whenever someone asked him if he was ticklish. He hated the way he would be helpless when they inevitably tested the waters. He especially hated the way people would tease him about the noises he’d make while he was trying to fight the urge to succumb to the mirth.
Elliot knew that people enjoyed poking fun at him because of the way he overreacted. He had been told so many times, but it was unavoidable when he got flustered. It was something so engrained in him that he couldn’t fight it no matter how hard he tried.
“Sh-shut the fuck up! You just… You just caught me by surprise, okay!?” Elliot huffed indignantly.
“I did? Oh, so you totally won’t react if I just… Tickled you again?” Nox flexed and wiggled her fingers as she began to close in on Elliot. He felt his heart begin to race as he backed away. He didn’t want to be subjected to this humiliation! Should he run? Where would he even go? Someone was bound to ask why he was running down the halls in a panic, then what? Elliot couldn’t just go whining about how Nox was threatening to tickle him, that would be mortifying! He’d rather die! Maybe a retaliation was in order? … No. Elliot was terrified of tickling others, even in self-defense. He knew that would just invoke their wrath further and he’d suffer tenfold.
The most the distressed blond could think to do was attempt and reason with his assailant… Not that he thought she would listen, but he was desperate.
“W-wait, c’mon-! We’re… We’re supposed to clean up and- MNGH-!!” Reasoning proved to be just as unhelpful as he expected when Nox’s fingers began to prod and wedge themselves into the soft divots of his ribs. His arms couldn’t protect him completely. “N-noHOHO! NGH- BIHIHITCH! A-AH!”
Elliot’s eyes were squeezed shut and he could only imagine how wide Nox’s devious smirk was as he swore in between frantic laughter and yelps. Her fingertips pressed into the tender areas of his sides, causing him to buck wildly and twist away from her tickling digits… There wasn’t much else he could do when his back hit the wall, rendering him unable to back away further.
“N-Nox! SHIHIHIT-! Nohohooox! AH-! Quihihit it! QUIT IHIHIT!”
“Hmm…” As she continued to torment the other with simple poking and prodding to the exposed areas of his midriff, Nox hummed in mock thought. “And what if I don’t want to? This is entirely more entertaining than sweeping and folding blankets, wouldn’t you agree?” At the mercy of Nox and his own mirth, Elliot couldn’t do much but shake his head wildly in disagreement. As much as he struggled to stifle and choke back his own squeals and guffaws, they still managed to spill past his lips. Once he started laughing, it was nearly impossible to get him to stop until the person tickling him decided they were finished.
“While it might be more entertaining, there’s a job that needs to be done that you two were put in charge of and there sure is a whole lot of that not getting done.” A familiar calm, baritone voice sounded from the doorway. Nox froze, pulling her hands away from Elliot. The two’s attention snapped to where the voice was resonating from.
She was so lost in her amusement towards the boy that she wasn’t aware of her superior, the right hand and body guard of the leader of The Resistance, leaning on the doorframe, quietly observing the subordinates with narrowed eyes and a furrowed brow. His large, built arms were crossed in disapproval.
“B-Bernard!” Nox felt her cheeks grow warm. It was known far and wide throughout The Resistance that she had an untamed lust for the man before them. Her normally bossy disposition and superiority complex would shatter whenever he was around, rendering her desperate and vulnerable. Whether Bernard himself was aware of that was a different story. His dark eyes held the disapproving gaze. “I was… I just- Elliot, he was being uncooperative, and I-” At the sound of his own name, Elliot shot a glare at the woman trying to pin the whole debacle on him.
“M-me!?” Trying to regain his composure, Elliot straightened up, patting down the wrinkles on h is sweater. “You were the one who’s fucking bossing me around like always and-”
“Enough.” Bernard didn’t have to yell more times than not. This was one of those instances. Between Nox’s devotion, desire, and respect towards the dark-haired man and his intimidating aura having a solid grasp on Elliot, the duo shut up right away, their gazes meeting the floor. He continued to speak, his voice was leveled and cold. “Frankly, I don’t care what the two of you do while you’re off duty. Have all the tickle fights you want or bicker until your heart’s content then. Not when you have a job you need to get done. Understood?”
“Yes, sir…” Nox acknowledged him quietly.
“Y… Yeah.” Elliot followed up, shifting awkwardly. The larger man’s posture relaxed once the two seemed more cooperative, his arms falling to his sides. Though, the stern look hardly wavered from his features.
“Good. Both of you get back to work, make sure this room is spotless in a couple of hours.” Bernard turned to leave the room with a light and aggravated sigh.
The room was quiet and still until Bernard’s footsteps that echoed down the hall were no longer audible. Nox approached the doorway, peeking out for good measure; He was gone. She looked back at Elliot who was silently picking up the quilt he was fussing with earlier, patting the flecks of dust off it. With a sigh, she returned to Elliot, lightly tapping her fingers on his shoulder to get his attention. He flinched, whipping around to shoot a glare her way.
“Whoa, whoa! Easy-” Nox pulled away. “I was just going to… Offer to help you fold the quilts.”
“Help…?” Elliot echoed in disbelief, suspicion weighing heavily on his brow.
“Y-yeah, just… To get it done faster so Bernard doesn’t get upset at me because I have you holding me back!” She huffed, a hue of pink dusting her cheeks. “Here, I’ll teach you how to fold the quilts. It’s easier with two people.” The boy seemed to relax after a moment when Nox offered her hand.
“Uh-huh…” Elliot knew her change of tune was because of Bernard, though part of him wondered if she was musing over her earlier comment towards him about folding. “Er, thanks, I guess…” He gave her the one end of the blanket.
“Don’t mention it, Tough Guy. Now, just follow my lead…”
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rayisalive · 1 year
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★A/N: This is just a joke don’t take it seriously hh- it’s not meant to offend anyone in any way.
Originally I was gonna have a Y/N-Malleus-Ace-Jack imaginary harem but oh well hh-
I lowkey wanna write more of this AU- Y/N vs the overblots(/hj)
Please bully Y/N with me
★Includes: Fem reader(I’M SORRY BUT ALMOST ALL Y/N FICS I SEE ARE FEM READER AND I NEED IT TO BE FEM READER TO POKE FUN AT Y/N-) reader x Malleus and Ace(sevens I feel bad for them already, but I need Y/N’s imaginary love triangle) crack fic
★Context: It’s just me making a crack fic of the typical, pardon I mean “not like other girls” Y/N from fics x TWST hh-
★Tag.List: @yinenovica @snek-disappearedagain
←Y/N in Scarabia →
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I opened up by bluer than the ocean which gets the blue color due to the water absorbing colors in the red part of the light spectrum but I’m too dumb to know that so I’ll just say eyes as blue as sapphires.
Anyway I opened my sapphire blue orbs, my blue pearls, my blue balls in what I call eye sockets, my blue orbeez, I opened them and peered around my room.
Ah, today was just another Tuesday in my boring, uneventful, sad, life.
I turned to check the time on my clock, it was 8:06.
Wait, 8:06?! I was late for school even though no one would care if I was there or not!
I quickly rushed out of my bed, not paying attention to anything else.
I threw on an oversized hoodie and leggings as I live life like a side character in cartoons and only have one set of clothes.
Tying my hair into a messy bun I dashed out of my room, entering the kitchen.
Sadly, my parents weren’t there, they had died 50 years before I was born in a car crash.
I struggled to handle making myself a quick breakfast and doing last-minute homework.
I mean, I could barely reach the countertop as I am 1’3 tall with golden hair longer than Rapunzels.
After eating a small breakfast, I made my way to NRC, the dreaded school I go to.
I hate almost everything about it, I’m not what you would call the popular kids. I get bullied, and for no reason. Oh well, it’s just better to ignore them I guess.
Walking towards the gate, I made a sharp turn. I had to avoid others when entering, for some reason I was always removed even though I very much am totally a student there.
I weaved through the woods until I finally arrived at the backdoor.
Upon entering I felt my tiny body, smaller than a piece of rice, needs a microscope to see, smaller than the writers self-confidence, I felt myself crash into another student.
Looking up I saw one of the students that had gone to the school.
I could feel my face get redder than the wattpad logo as I stammered words out, looking for an excuse.
“I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- *insert 500 more “I-”’s* I’m so sorry,” I said, my voice quavering with each word.
“It’s nothing,” they said, before walking away.
I could feel tears grow as he walked off. There was no way, why did I deserve this? Why had everyone have to be so mean even if he literally did nothing wrong and I just like to be dramatic.
I took off like a caterpillar on drugs, making my way to the rooftop.
Barely anyone was there as I slowly approached the side. I looked around, making sure no one was watching.
Taking deep breaths, I let my voice ring out louder than a fire alarm as I sang the one true song I could resonate with, Fight Song by Rachel Platten.
I felt my fears and worries wash away as I sang, letting my true self shine.
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“There she goes again,” grumbled a student as they let out a sigh, walking away.
Another student looked up to yell, “Stop singing, you sound like a fire truck had crashed into a brick wall 50 times then refused to fix the siren as it was driven by toads.”
Onlookers did their best to hide their laughs as they left, not wanting to draw attention to themselves.
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As I heard the comment I immediately stopped singing, my feelings once again hurt.
Looking down, the person who I had assured to make the comment gave me a thumbs up, most likely enjoying the fact I had stopped singing.
I instantly recognized the red hair, it was none other than Ace Trappola, a first year in my alchemy class.
I felt miserable as I walked back down, off to class even though once again no one would care if I was there or not.
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As I exited the classroom once again my smaller than a lego figurine self walked into someone due to the fact that despite having eyes I can not see and if given the chance I would accidentally run into a wall of cacti.
My books tumbled out of my hands, happy to be free from me, as I fell to the ground despite barely touching the person.
“Watch where you’re going,” they mumbled before walking past me, leaving me there alone.
Somehow someone voluntarily walked within 500 ft of me, as they bent down, helping me pickup my books who were so close to escaping me.
I could distinctly tell him apart from the other students, who else was a tall dragon fae with horns? Only Malleus Draconia of course.
As we stood back up I felt the brush of his hand as he handed me my book. Red colored my face as I realized this could only mean one thing, he was in love with me.
How did I get to that conclusion? Oh well I’m so detached from society that I think my life is a wattpad story and anyone who gives me any sort of physical touch is in love with me, plus I’m too dumb to try to look at the situation logically.
“T- T- T- T- T- T- *insert 201837 more “T-”’s* Thankyou,” I stutter out before running off, not paying any attention to the dumbfound fae watching me.
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Walking down the hallways I could feel their stares as I headed to the only place I could truly be myself, the rooftop of course.
As I walked towards the edge once more, I let my voice out like someone opening a broken music box that was smashed by a hammer 600 times.
I sang until I had been interrupted, once again by the same rude redhead before.
I turned to see his scarlet red orbeez eye me, his voice cocky and confident.
“You sure do like singing that song, even though you sound like a burning building.”
“W- W- W- W-,” I attempted to respond before he interrupted me again, angering me further.
“Jeez, do you hafta stutter 500 times before saying a word? I get stuttering but you just seem like you’re exaggerating it,” Ace said, placing a smirk on that stupid face of his.
I gave out a scoff before turning back around, looking at the now full courtyard below me.
Ace let out a sigh before walking up next to me, a shock really as no one would want to be caught within 100 ft near me.
He rested his head on the railings as he looked out below too, keeping an awkward silence between us.
For the first time he wasn’t making fun of me, and seeing as how I reacted to Malleus helping me pickup my books, it was only natural for me to believe he had a crush on me aswell, of course I had to use the overused “only bully them because you like them” and “I can fix him” trope.
We stayed there until Ace perked his head up, a sudden burst of realization on his face.
“Wait a moment, this is an all-boys school, how the hell are you here? Are you even a student here?!” He yelped, his once calm expression now replaced with one surprised.
Just then a burst of faculty entered the roof, charging towards me.
I quickly took my books and ran off, not minding any attention to those who tried to stop me.
“Catch her!” Someone yelled as I pushed past people, which really wasn’t needed because once again I’m like a caterpillar on drugs.
I could hear someone mumble along the words, “Just another Tuesday,” as I ran past them, and honestly they were right, this was almost my daily routine.
Perhaps this was why I was often removed from the school, but you see as a wattpad Y/N I can break the logic and rules of stories.
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After what felt like I was running forever I finally once again arrived at my house, tired from the chase.
Finally I was able to rest as I placed my books and bag down. Taking my 100 ft hair out of the bun and leaving to relax. Of course, all by myself because I have no friends.
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©rayisalive 9/16/22 None of my work is to be translated, plagiarized, or reposted without my knowledge. If I inspired you be sure to tag me so I can check it out!
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oxiegoeimi · 15 days
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Art| #Onism
Artist| #Nuei
Living with this insanity that is my soul has been anything but boring. To inherit the beauty of this place without the mindset to appreciate it, I know that I must change. To be set to marry more than twice and end up apart, statistics demand that I look in the mirror. To live in constant regret is hell. Knowing how billions would give anything to trade places with me, relativity isn’t for a weak stomach. So, let me draw the curtain back for a moment. If I share all the experiences and highs publicly, such would be hard to believe. If my sins weren’t secret, you’d be shocked. Whether past, present, or to be determined; my life is perfect. My actions are not. Accounting for disease, debt, loss, psyche, failure, and reality; each second is one more than I can earn. So, despite the marred perspective and ignorant pride, I recognize that the synthesis of being is too miraculous to ignore. Does this excuse anxiety, fear, and depression? Yes. How and why? Bruh . . . if you never experience those things, we can’t be friends. Anyways, I can’t honestly say that I love everyone and everything. I’m not divinity. There’s no shortage of experts and helpers if you are after enlightenment. I’m just a messy person having a difficult time accepting that infinity decided that I am worth it. Why? I’m not . . . I don’t get to decide for them. Trust me, I tried 😬
- oxiegoeimi
here 11.1 🦁🏳🔐💙 remember to always #trust #nature 🌲 #Healer 🔥 #Spirit 🕊 #hope ⚜️ #grace ☔️ #love 🌸 #life 🌊 #unity 🌈 #believe 💝 #weareone ✂️🕚🎶 #energy #PinkySwear #prayer #meditation #freelove #hereandhereafter #dream #vision #Eternity #paradise #infinity #light #origin #writing source journey #create #coexist #together 💜🌠🌅🌟
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bratkook · 3 years
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girls like you. (m) kth
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‘swear to god she's a blessing and a curse, should’ve learned from you’
pairing. taehyung x reader genre. smut, some plot (not really) word count. 26k warnings. three separate smut scenes: masturbation in a public bathroom, handjob, exhibitionism on a bus, tae creeps on oc’s nudes, brief mentions of oc being a sex worker, dirty talk, messy sex, praising, grinding, pussy job, cum swallowing, overstimulation, forced orgasms, oral (m. receiving), fingering, begging, use of sex toys (hitachi), color system, use of safe word (yellow not red), crying, edging, choking, cockwarming, oc is very much straight forward and ‘in charge’ but def not a dom summary. girls like you were the ones he desired from afar. girls like you weren’t the girls you take home to mother. girls like you knew the power they had over a boy like him and fuck, did he love it. note. this is a reupload of an older story that i took down to be re-edited. it’s essentially pure filth with some plot and it’s mostly an excuse to write something where Taehyung is a little submissive compared to the reader. also 100% inspired by the song girls like u by blackbear. please let me know your thoughts on this thank u ilysm !!
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The daily commute from his home to university was always long and boring to put it simply. The monotonous routine was something he could do with his eyes closed. It started the same every morning, waking up with sleep still heavy on his lids, grabbing a quick bite to eat from the convenience store by the bus stop, and waiting in the differing degrees of weather until the hunk of metal creeped up the street. 
There was one plus to dragging himself out of bed at the ungodly hour of five am in order to catch the bus on time—really why did he ever think choosing morning classes was the way to go—regardless, the blessing came in the form of a near empty bus the second he stepped on.
Considering he was one of the first stops for this route, he’s lucky enough to always snag a seat. It's the same seat every time and he’s almost positive the regular riders knew this by now. Snagging a seat meant he could tuck his headphones in, rest his head against the window of the bus and pretend the way his head bounced back from the potholes wasn’t killing the last remaining brain cells he had.
What difference would a few brain cells be in the grand scheme of things? He couldn’t care less, always more focused on whatever was on his phone. The brightness was dimmed to an appropriate setting to not burn his dry eyes, strands of hair covering his face as he looked down at his lap, fingers scrolling robotically through his instagram feed and then switching over to his twitter.
It must have been a sign from god that made instagram crash that morning, causing an influx of annoying ‘is instagram down for anyone else or just me’ tweets that made him roll his eyes and choose to lock his phone and lift his head up from its permanent downcast position. He was getting a mean case of tech neck anyways, rolling his head and shoulders to release the awkward tension lingering in his muscles.
That’s when he noticed the eyes staring right at him. Had he looked up more often he would have known that those exact eyes had been watching him intently for weeks now, sitting and hoping he would eventually look up. He’s half expecting you to look away, embarrassed by being caught blatantly staring at him but instead, you tilted your head slightly and gave him a sly smirk, almost as if you’re taunting him to look away. And that’s exactly what he does, his eyes darting away and apparently his whole head wanted to follow, ramming against the window with a nice whack.
Great. Good going man.
He could feel his face burning with embarrassment, refusing to look up because he could just picture you laughing at him. Hell, maybe you were recording him with the purpose to post once instagram decided to get it’s shit together. With that in mind, it didn’t take much debating before he decided that repetitive tweets were more entertaining than making eye contact with you again, unlocking his phone and beginning the endless scrolling once more.
The long ride allowed him to eventually push his embarrassment aside, eyes lazily skimming the words on his screen, not digesting anything he’s reading. It’s not until the bus jolted forward at his stop that he took a chance and looked over at you quickly, noticing you were already up by the front, waltzing out of the doors before he could even get himself up from his seat.
A double take out the window confirmed that he was in fact at the university bus stop, hastily shoving his phone into his pocket and hurrying off the bus before the driver could get annoyed at his slow pace. 
Your silhouette was slowly disappearing through the crowd of other students and he had to snap out of his small daze once he lost you entirely, shrugging his shoulders at the odd encounter before making his way towards his first class of the morning.
His university is pretty large, the amount of students here bordering on absurd and it’s the main reason he chose to take the bus to school instead of driving because the parking lot is literally hell on earth. With all that said, he still couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t seen you before this morning. Had you always taken that bus with him? Also, how long had you been staring at him? Maybe it was just today, but fuck, did that mean he had something weird on his face...or maybe his hair looked jacked up in order for you to just stare.
“You good?” The sound of Jungkook brought him out of the whirlwind of thoughts in his mind, coming to a screeching halt and settling back into the dust as he came back to reality. Once his eyes finally focused back in, he realized he’s been staring at some random girl a few seats down with a zombie like expression. No wonder she was now giving him a bizarre look.
“Fuck.” Too embarrassed to even attempt to apologize to his classmate, he averted his eyes and looked to his left where Jungkook sat, a concerned expression on his face as he took a giant bite out of his oversized breakfast burrito. “I’m good.”
Jungkook gave him a once over, narrowing his eyes as he chewed his food, a bit of egg lingering by his lip. “Bullshit.”
The look of disgust on Taehyung’s face was very evident, so Jungkook could only smile before taking yet another massive bite out of his burrito, making an absolute show of chewing the meal. 
“You’re fucking disgusting.”
“Thanks.” Jungkook laughed, blowing his friend a kiss before properly chewing and taking a gulp of his water. “You sure you’re good Tae? You were staring into the fucking abyss or something earlier.”
From first glance he definitely looked like he was really thinking about some deep rooted issues. His body had been slightly hunched over his desk, eyes zoned out on that poor girl but his mind was elsewhere. An array of emotions had played out on his face, features contorted into different forms of distress as he had a mental conversation with himself. So when Jungkook walked in and saw him in that state he just had to make sure he was alright.
“I’m fine, just had a weird morning is all.”
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The next morning started off the same as always. Taehyung only had two morning classes today so he stayed in his sweats and hoodie, stopping by the convenience store to grab something to eat before getting to his bus stop. 
It was routine: his feet dragging along the sidewalk and coming to a halt beside the bench, mind still heavy with sleep, until a flash of a memory pops in so quickly it made him wince. 
That’s when he was reminded about you. 
You had left his mind after his first class yesterday, the stress of assignments taking over the part of his brain that was curious–and a little embarrassed–about your interaction. All that occupied his day was finishing that essay for his biology class, facetiming Jimin who needed help deciding between shirts before his date, and now the kimbap he currently had in his hand. 
But as he sat at the bench waiting for the bus, the only thing repeating in his mind was him smacking his face against the glass so hard his brain rattled, and unfortunately, his breakfast didn’t seem as appetizing anymore.
When the familiar hunk of metal pulled up in front of him he couldn’t help the small feeling of nerves bubbling up in his stomach. He felt a little stupid, how one situation was making him overthink little things when for all he knew you’ve been riding the same bus for months.
He shuffled down the aisle after swiping his bus card, head staring at the floor because he was a little scared to look up and see you on the bus already. Thankfully his usual seat was unoccupied—the last row at the back right next to the right window—so he made a beeline right towards it. 
Crinkling from his pockets filled the quiet bus as he finally settled into his seat, setting his backpack onto the floor right between his legs. Moving slowly in order to not draw attention, his hand reached in and pulled out the kimbap from his pocket, peeling it open and taking a bite off the corner. His eyes took a peek up, cautiously drifting over the few passengers on the bus with him and noticing that you weren’t on the bus yet.
Okay, my stop is before hers.
Taehyung’s body instantly relaxed into his seat, a small sigh leaving his lips. The creeping feeling of embarrassment faded away now, allowing him to fish his phone out of his pocket as he enjoyed his breakfast, fingers tapping as he scrolled and liked the occasional picture on instagram.
Considering it was a Wednesday morning all social media was pretty dead, so once he got to the end of everything, he locked his phone and just stared at the scenery blending together. 
Before he could fully zone out, something made his nerves light up. A small burning sensation coming from his left and he had an inkling of what it could be. Carefully, he lifted his head away from against the window and let his eyes travel over to where he just knew you were sitting.
Yup. There you were. A few seats closer than last time, sat in one of the single seats facing the aisles, staring right at him. His eyes trailed down from yours and couldn’t help but stare at the small bit of cleavage you had showing in your low cut shirt. A gold charm was resting between your boobs, cursive letters spelling out what he could only assume was a nickname. 
He only realized he was blatantly staring at your tits when the sudden movement of your hand coming up brought him out of his stupid fuckboy trance.
To be honest, he was expecting you to move your hand to lift your shirt up or flip him off, he wasn’t expecting you to tug your shirt down a bit further and lean over, placing your chin on the hand that was resting on your crossed leg. His wide eyes drifted up to your lips, seeing the gloss shining off of them, showcasing the little smirk you had on.
You were taunting him, seeing if he would look away this time or not, and surprisingly he hadn’t. He wasn’t looking at your boobs now though, his eyes were zoned in on your lips and the occasional pink bubble you would blow with your gum.
Deciding to take it a small step further, you leaned back a tiny bit and let your fingertips graze the top of your chest while maintaining your gaze on him. That was when his eyes shot down to your chest once more, seeing the heart outline tattoo on your pinky before quickly looking around the bus at the other riders who weren’t paying you any attention. 
When he finally got the courage to look directly at your eyes you just gave him a wink before leaning all the way back in your seat and deciding you were done with whatever the hell that was, leaving Taehyung sitting in his seat, slightly sexually frustrated and a little confused at how something so simple could rile him up.
When the bus jolted to a stop in front of the university you hopped up from your seat and headed off to your class with a hop in your step, satisfied with your little game. Taehyung could simply watch with a dumbfounded expression, immediately standing up from his seat and awkwardly holding his bag in front of him to try to hide his junk as discreetly as he could. 
This was embarrassing. Why was every encounter he’d had with you this far ended in him feeling embarrassed and you feeling accomplished?
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Little did he know that’s how the majority of your encounters would go. The bus ride to school was now the leading cause of his blue balls and the highlight of your rather boring morning. He had now started to see you around school more often, whether that was because he was now looking out for you or purely coincidental, he wasn’t sure but he was certain you were taunting him. Especially with the outfits you would wear. They weren’t vastly inappropriate, but it seemed like every pair of shorts got a little shorter and every skirt a little tighter.
Obviously he knew he probably wasn’t the only dude who was on your radar, so it was a little self centered to assume you were doing this just to him, but it was definitely affecting him to the extent of his friends asking him what the hell was on his mind.
“Honestly dude, what’s your deal?”
“Hm?” he questioned, one hand on the lid of his coffee cup while his eyes stared at the table they were currently sitting around in the nearby coffee shop. Taehyung had been zoned out the entire time his friends had been talking about the upcoming party at Seokjin’s fraternity later this week. His mind just kept repeating the scene that unfolded on the bus earlier that morning with you, a skirt that was too short, and the way you let him catch a glance of your underwear when you accidentally opened your legs too wide when you went to cross them over.
“Like, what porn are you watching that constantly has you in a daze?”
“Yeah, send us a link or something!”
Taehyung frowned at his friends' comments, although they weren’t really too far off. He might not be thinking about porn exactly, but his thoughts were far from pure regarding you.
Jungkook was cackling obnoxiously as the rest of his friends cracked jokes about Taehyung being a porn addict, and honestly it was a shocker they hadn’t been asked to leave from the sheer volume coming from the group. Add the vulgar topic of porn to the mix and it was only a matter of minutes before the cute barista who had a huge crush on Yoongi would come over and shyly ask them to keep it down.
“Shut up,” Tae grumbled out, hand abandoning his coffee cup and aggressively rubbing his eyes. It was almost like he was trying to scrub the thought of you out of his mind like a dirty stain on his clothes.
Namjoon was the one who suddenly gasped like a child finding change on the floor. “Fuck, it’s not porn is it?”
That caused a couple of confused grunts to come from around him, choruses of ‘well if not porn then what’ and ‘no way don’t you see the difference in buffness between his arms he’s totally addicted to some weird shit.’
Taehyung sat up a little straighter, a small look of curiosity on his face as he glanced at Namjoon. Yes, his friend was the genius of the group in every sense of the word but he couldn’t have possibly figured it ou— “Who’s the girl you’ve been literally fantasizing over for weeks?”
Fuck.
Whoops and hollers were the next sound of choice from his immature friends, Hoseok going as far as violently shaking his shoulder while everyone teased him and that’s when Eunha finally walked over very timidly.  
“Hey Yoongi.”
Yoongi glanced up at the sound of his name, his smile growing a little softer when he noticed who it was coming from. Everyone knew she had a crush on him—including Yoongi himself—so they always tried to be as nice as possible to her. “Hey Eunha.”
She tucked a piece of her short hair behind her ear, her eyes drifting to everyone around the table before landing back on Yoongi. “Sorry, my boss is just saying you guys are being a little too loud and I don’t want him to kick you guys out so,” she pressed her palms together gently. “Could you guys just bring it down a tiny bit?”
“Shit, yeah. Sorry about that. We’ll keep it down, thanks babe.” A small blush tinted her cheeks at the pet name and she was only able to mumble out a meek okay before she scurried off with a giant smile on her face.
All of them watched her round the corner and slip into the employee only backroom, smiles on all of their faces until the door swung shut, and then they were back to all eyes on Taehyung. 
“So, who is she?” They all inched in a little closer at Jimin’s question, acting like fucking vultures, desperate for any bit of gossip Tae was willing to spill. They couldn’t be blamed though, they had witnessed their usual charismatic friend go from flirting with random girls and throwing jokes here and there to basically sitting in class in a weird zombie-like trance. But those were only the days where he had morning classes, so they just needed to find the connection between it all.
“Just some girl I ride the bus with to school.”
There was a beat of silence before Yoongi spoke up. “Okay, so ask her out?”
Now how was he supposed to come out and say that you and him had never really spoken, and he didn’t even know your name and you didn’t know his, and the only interactions you’ve had were very sexual in nature, but you’ve also never physically touched each other? He was stuck, only able to chew on his lips in thought, but luckily his friends took that as a cue to encourage him.
“Yeah man, ask her out or something! Especially if she’s got you this strung up.”
He wanted to laugh, really he did, but he also realized that he really didn’t have anything to lose when it came to approaching you. If he approached you and it didn’t go in his favor then he could just move on with his life. Pretty simple right?
That was how he found himself bolting up the second you did the next morning on the bus, standing a few feet behind you as the bus pulled up to the stop. You had chosen to simply stare at him every now and then during this particular morning, extremely PG compared to the other rides, so he thankfully didn’t have the majority of his blood rushing to his dick today. Because of this, he was hopeful he could actually say some words to you that didn’t make him seem like an asshole.
You stepped off the bus quickly, your heeled booties clicking against the steps and landing on the concrete smoothly, whereas his vans thumped the whole way down with a lot less grace in his haste, but he was able to catch up to you nonetheless.
He didn’t want to shout out your name because well, he didn’t actually know your full name aside from the cute charmed necklace you constantly wore, and what better way to garner more creepy points than to make it clear he stared at your tits. So he chose to jog up to you and place a hand on your shoulder, making your body come to a halt, but it was almost like you were expecting it with the half smile that graced your face.
“Hey, what’s your deal?”
Nice first words Taehyung.
You raised a brow at his remark, arms coming to cross under your chest as you watched him with clear amusement on your features. “My deal?” Your voice had him pausing momentarily, he was half expecting it to sound high and sweet but there was a slight edge to it, the sound a little lower in tone than he had mentally imagined.
“Uh yeah.” He let go of your shoulder and chose to fidget with the black beanie on his head instead, his palms going clammy. “You’ve been staring at me for weeks on the bus.”
You were staring at him intently, watching how nervous he was to even speak to you, not an ounce of shame on your face at being called out. The fact that he was even talking to you had caught you off guard. You weren’t really expecting him to ever say anything at this point since most men would have pounced for a chance to get a word in after the first time they had caught you staring at them.
“Does that bug you?”
“No!” He instantly shouted out, hands outstretched almost as if he was scared of offending you. “I just wanted to know why you…stare?”
You nodded along, your lips turning up at the corners slyly, tongue gently running along the bottom of your teeth as you smiled. “You’re nice to stare at.” His eyes widened at that and you couldn’t help but think how cute he looked in that moment. Why did he seem like he was so out of his element? 
“And,” you started as you pulled a slip of paper and a pen out of your small side bag, quickly jotting something down before folding it in half. “I’ve just been thinking about how cute you’d look between my thighs for the past couple of weeks, so message me whenever you want.” You reached down and picked up the hand that was resting by his side, your fingers opening his palm and sliding the paper into it before closing it and just walking away without a second glance.
How could you just waltz away as if you hadn’t made him combust internally, calling him cute while slipping in a filthy thought. You hadn’t even cared to get his name before you admitted to wanting to sleep with him, and if this were a frat party and Taehyung was absolutely wasted that’s exactly how he would approach a girl too, but being on the receiving end made him a little unsure of himself.
The tiny folded paper in his palm was spread apart and that’s when he finally learned your actual name, along with your number which was written beside it in black ink and finished off with a heart.
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He never got the courage to text you.
Well, not until he saw you on the bus the following morning with a damn lollipop in between your lips. The way you slowly trailed it up towards your lips was just asking for dirty thought to cross his mind. 
That was exactly your reason for doing it though, this was like a game for you, he just didn’t realize it and that’s what enticed you to continue it, torturing him slightly since he had failed to reach out to you.
You let the green lollipop rest on your tongue momentarily before gliding it down and letting the tip of your tongue circle around it, seeing his eyes widen slightly at the provocative action.
Taehyung looked around at the lingering passengers to see if anyone was watching whatever this was going down but there was no audience, there never seemed to be one. The only passengers were gathered towards the front, all engrossed in their books or phones so they don’t see the way you swirl your tongue around the candy.
You clearly had the art of seduction down by how quickly he could feel his pants tightening but he couldn’t help it. His eyes were glued on your mouth, the way you were enjoying that stupid sucker was way too sexual and it didn’t help that your eyes were piercing into him. You knew exactly what you were doing to him. With how fixated his eyes were you could tell what thoughts were floating in his mind, especially by the way he shifted in his seat.
Taehyung was currently hating his life with all he had in him for wearing sweats, gray sweats to top it off. Those are surely going to show the nice outline of his half hard dick when he gets up.
He really should look away from you but every time he tried, flashes of you between his legs would entice him to keep staring. There has never been a moment where he felt more like a pervert than right now and he almost felt ashamed to be watching you. Almost.
This was just fun for you, you weren’t dwelling on this as much as Taehyung was. You only ever thought of him when you woke up for class and wondered how you were going to subtly torture him on the commute to school. You wanted to see how far you could take it before he reacted differently, whether that be him approaching you in person once more or finally shooting you a text.
Would he ever make a move on you? It was hard to tell considering he never reached out and what man would turn down an invite for casual sex if he was semi interested. Would he ever tell you to stop? You obviously would, but the way he denied being bothered by you giving him attention just led you to believe he was very much into it.
The subtle shift in his seat also showed you how much he was into the little show you had for him. He had pulled his phone out, tapping on a new message with your name being typed in.
Why are you doing this– he quickly deleted that, the little line flashing as it waited for the next words to be typed out.
Do you enjoy giving me random boners this early– nope delete that too.
The feeling of the bus coming to a stop made him lift his gaze from his phone and back to you, a small wink was shot in his direction before you were standing up and walking your way towards the front of the bus, your lollipop making your cheek bulge out as you let it rest on the side of your mouth. Taehyung just watched you standing there, one hand gripping the metal railing above you as the bus approached the stop. You gave one last glance over your shoulder to see if he had moved before you stepped off the bus, taking the sucker out of your mouth and giving him a wicked smirk before popping it back in and sauntering off to your first class of the day.
Taehyung once again had a boner pressing against the fabric of his pants and he couldn’t help the groan that left him because dammit, this was happening too often. He was tired of having to daydream about nasty shit to get it to go away while you just pranced off satisfied with how you left him.
He hesitated in his seat for a moment, debating whether he should hop off and head back home so he could calmly deal with the current situation in his pants or if he could suck it up and actually focus enough during his first class.
The bus driver looked at his rear mirror and gave him an irritated look, and with that his decision was made for him. Well a compromise actually, he wouldn’t be able to focus in class when all he was thinking about was your lips around his cock and the fact that you admitted to wanting to fuck him, but he also couldn’t leave school entirely because he had a test his next class and the bus ride back to his house and back to school was too troublesome to bother with.
So he was currently headed to the boys restroom in the building his first class was in, a little more pep in his step because he was finally going to fix one of the problems you caused. Did he feel a little shame in him? Yes. He did. But he was currently blocking that out entirely. All he was thinking about was how great the feeling of his hand around his dick was going to be, and that alone was enough to get him to walk just a little bit faster.
He entered the building and climbed up the stairs two at a time, clearly in a hurry but who could blame him. Luckily most classes were currently in session and if someone didn’t have a class they were usually lounging outside or getting coffee nearby so he knew the bathroom would be free of people, proven right when he swung the door open and saw no one inside.
Taehyung walked to the stall the furthest away from the door and deemed it worthy enough before stepping in and locking it behind him. He took a deep breath as he stared at the wall in front of him, having somewhat of a mental debate. Had he really gotten to this point where he had to resort to jacking off in a bathroom stall?
He let one of his palms rub down his face for a moment, but only a moment because he had a problem to fix and right now his throbbing dick was way more important than his morals. So he shrugged off his backpack and hung it behind him on the hook and slid his sweats down along with his boxers, the material bunching together around his thighs.
Taehyung shut his eyes, not being able to stare at the porcelain toilet in front of him as he wrapped his hand around his cock, the feeling making a shudder run up his back. A gentle tug started his motions, his shoulders dropping from finally feeling some sort of relief after the show you had put on for him. The way your pink lips were wet from sucking on your candy made it easy to picture you between his legs, your lips coated in saliva from giving him what he’s sure would be the best blowjob of his life, chin messy as you stuck your tongue out for him.
He could almost feel his hands in between your hair, tugging on your strands as you picked up the pace, so he mimicked it himself, stopping momentarily to spit into his palm to make the glide a little smoother. 
Fuck, he really should have texted you, maybe then he wouldn’t be doing something as filthy as this. Maybe—no he definitely would know what this would feel like in real life, but his hand would just have to do.
A groan left his mouth as he tugged on his cock faster now, eyes squeezing shut as he pictured you sucking on the tip of it, your eyes looking up at him in the same piercing way they always did. He’d like to think that you’d deepthroat him, or tease him, maybe even edge him because you definitely liked to torture him. His mind was flipping through a million and one scenarios as his pace sped up, now hunched over the toilet, the hand that wasn’t pushing him over the edge of an orgasm pressed against the wall in front of him.
His hips started thrusting into his hand, joining in on the motion, a whine felt at the back of his throat begging to come out because of how desperate he felt for his release. The pent up frustration he had for himself, and how badly he wanted to fuck you, paired up with his thumb focusing on his tip every time he stroked up brought him to his orgasm. A choked groan left his mouth as his hips stuttered, his hand continuing to stroke himself rather quickly as ribbons of white shot into the toilet. His groans turned into soft whines as he kept up the pace, the tingles he felt on his dick from the oversensitivity felt too good for him to stop, he was way too desperate for this and it was disappointing that it was over. It wasn’t until his hips and stomach continued to twitch that he finally pulled his hand away from his softening dick.
Taehyung leaned his back against the door, feeling the material of his backpack against him as he slumped down. His forehead was sweaty and his chest was heaving from his orgasm but he was content with himself now, mind no longer whirling with thoughts of you and that damn lollipop. He grabbed toilet paper and cleaned himself up before wiping down the toilet seat as clean as he could and flushing the evidence down the toilet.
He secured the strings to his sweatpants once again and stepped out of the stall, standing a little taller, glancing from side to side and letting out a breath of relief that no one was occupying the urinals or stalls. After washing his hands he stepped back out into the halls of his university and headed down the stairs to go sit in the quad to wait for his next class.
You were going to be the death of him. How was it that you had this much power over him and were so unaffected by it? He needed to do something about this, so he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Taehyung ignored the notifications on his screen from his friends and opened up a new message, typing in your name before staring at the blank thread waiting to be filled.
Taehyung 9:40am : I hope you’re happy with the problem you gave me.
Was that the best message to send? Probably not, but he wasn’t letting himself think about it too much before the spark of courage left him so he tapped send and immediately backed out of the message, choosing to pretend to occupy his mind by reading the texts he got from Jungkook. The typical ‘are you dead’ texts he would send him if he ever missed class, along with a random text from Namjoon asking if he’d made a move on the mystery girl yet.
Taehyung jumped so hard his phone almost fell out of his grasp when it buzzed with a new text from you. His fingers couldn’t move fast enough to open the notification but his smile dropped instantly when he saw your response.
Y/N  9:51am : Who is this?
How should he respond to this? Were you joking? 
His lips were pursed as he stared at his screen, waiting to see the three little dots indicating that you were still typing, maybe saying it was a joke but they never popped up so Taehyung decided to be rational and realize that he literally never gave you his name.
Taehyung 9:53am : It’s Taehyung.
Stupid. You wouldn’t know who that was so he went back and started typing another response only stopping when another one of your messages popped up.
Y/N 9:54am :???
Taehyung 9:55am : Boy on bus
He left the messages open, staring at the screen and grinning to himself when he saw the notification pop up under his text, letting him know you had read the message. But when you never replied as the minutes went on, he started to feel a little dejected, so he locked his phone and shoved it deep into his pocket as he tried to go about the rest of his day.
Taehyung liked to think he was a very easy going guy, someone who doesn’t let little things get to him, but that was just him lying to himself. He was relatively chill about 70 percent of the time, but that remaining 30 percent? Oh boy, that was the over thinking, over analyzing, Taehyung.
“Are you okay?” Solji, the girl who sat next to him in his environmental science class asked him. They hardly ever spoke unless they were exchanging notes for upcoming quizzes, but with the way his face currently looked she just had to make sure he wasn’t going through something serious. She tried once more but when he didn’t answer she just shrugged and decided it wasn’t her business.
He had his brows furrowed so deeply there was a small little indent in between them, his eyes focused on the corner of his desk while his mind was trying to think of every reason you hadn’t responded. You could have lost your phone, or better yet maybe somebody had snatched it from you the very second you had read his message. Or maybe, your phone—or his—glitched and you never got the message at all.
Little did he know you were currently sitting in your economics class, tucked away in the back corner with your phone in your hand as the professor lectured with the projector screen on in the dark room. You were purposely ignoring Taehyung’s message, turning your read receipts on just to torture him further.
He had finally messaged you and unfortunately it was not with a invitation to fuck. It did however paint a smile on your face because you knew he was very affected by you from the message he sent.
All you wanted was for him to be more forward. You knew he had jacked off at school, he had to, so why couldn’t he just go ahead and say that. Spice shit up a little and talk about what he was thinking about when he did it. It’s the little things really.
You clicked back onto his thread in your messages, choosing now to respond to him. Your fingernails lightly clicked on your screen as you typed out a response and snickered before hitting send.
Y/N  11:37am : Oh? okay.
Taehyung felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and his heart stopped, eyes widening to the point where poor Solji was once again concerned about his well being. She was gonna ask him one more time if he was okay but his sudden movement had her flinching back and avoiding eye contact as he shoved his hands into his pocket and pulled out his phone.
Oh fuck she responded. He thought to himself as he unlocked his phone to see the notification, he opened the thread and read the message, scrolling up and back down almost as if he was trying to refresh the page for more of the message to load because there was no way in fucking hell that’s all you sent him.
But it was. That much was made very clear after a few minutes passed and you didn’t send anything else.
It was almost like Taehyung’s mind was on autopilot. He had finished his test minutes prior, so he shoved his pencil and extra scantron into his backpack before he stood up and practically stomped his way out of the classroom.
He couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t handle the mystery that was you. It would be very easy for him to just text back and get to know you but this was the 30 percent, over thinking, over analyzing, not chill Taehyung, and that was just not the way he did things.
Not chill Taehyung decided it was appropriate to bail out on his current class as well as bail out on the plans his friends had all made after classes. He decided it was perfectly fine to hop his merry self onto the bus and head on home. The plan was not very thought out, at all, but as he rode the bus home he just knew he would have to do some lurking to find something about you. 
While he was doing that driving his mind into the gutter, you were leaving your current class, heading out to meet your friends for a late lunch.
You had your phone held in your hand, almost hoping Taehyung would text back with something a little exciting, but he didn’t. That was fine by you though, he was right in assuming he wasn’t the only guy on your radar and although something about him made you want to pounce on him, if he wasn’t going to act on it then you weren’t going to dwell on it.
“Alright girls so what’s the plan for tomorrow night?” Hani spoke up, rubbing her hands together evilly.
“Be a child of god and go to sleep on time because I have a test the following day.” A chorus of boos followed all around, Sunmi even going as far as tossing a crumpled up napkin at Chungha who only rolled her eyes.
“C’mon Chungha. Just come out for a little bit,” you pleaded, grabbing her hands in yours and giving her the saddest puppy eyes you could muster.
“Ahh, no! You always do this Y/N!” she whined, throwing her head back in frustration. “But fine, only for two hours and I can’t get wasted.”
The three of you cheered obnoxiously, knowing very well that she would end up as trashed as all of you were, but that was a problem for tomorrow night. A problem for tonight however just occurred in the form of a notification on your phone.
You stared at it curiously, it was a notification from your blog that you used on occasion so you opened it up and smirked at what you discovered.
Not chill Taehyung had obviously gone home and did his lurking on you. Nowadays it really wasn’t hard to find anything on anyone considering how open people were on their socials so Taehyung was able to find your instagram with ease, especially now that he had your phone number.
He had scrolled through your feed carefully, seeing group photos with your girlfriends at parties, and an abundance of slightly suggestive selfies. There was one thing that was clear, you definitely had confidence in your body and he admired that.
Instagram only showed him a glimpse of your life and it wasn’t enough for him. Considering Taehyung had an account for every social media made, he knew you probably did too. So he took to a generic search, and even a reverse image search because he was so desperate it was pathetic. But it worked, because one certain photo you had uploaded on your instagram of you in a bikini with your face cut off was also uploaded onto a blog online.
At first glance he assumed it was just a generic porn blog that had reposted your photo, but upon further scrolling he noticed all the photos on there were of the same girl. You. 
His first instinct was to exit out of the site and act like he never found it, feeling slightly creepy at what his lurking had uncovered. But the curiosity was eating him alive, so he continued to scroll, seeing simple photos of you in lingerie; never revealing your face or anything else besides your ass and boobs. Along with that were some questions you would answer and with that he gathered that you had quite a bit of fans online.
There was one photo in particular that really caught his attention. The image was a little low quality, showing you with a black heart choker on and a stringy caged bralette that let your boobs pop out, your fingers slicked with something he could only imagine as they pinched your pebbled nipples. The heart outline tattoo on your pinky is what confirmed that it was in fact you in that photo, and that was enough for him to click the heart button on the bottom right to save into his likes for later.
What he didn’t know was that you checked your activity quite often. He also didn’t know that his blog, unlike yours, was not anonymous and had a stupid selfie of him as the icon.
So as he sat in his room and jerked off while thinking about you for the second time that day, you sat in the restaurant and giggled to yourself a little every time he liked a new photo, letting you know exactly what he was up to.
“Are you on that money pile blog of yours again?” Sunmi asked as she chewed on a chunk of butter soaked bread.
“Yes,” you responded simply, taking a sip of your drink and smiling when your friends cheered you on.
“How much have you made with it?” Hani asked curiously, pulling her shirt's neckline out to inspect her boobs. 
You thought about it for a moment; you started that blog to help you pay for school and have some left over for yourself and with luck on your side, it took off pretty quickly. While you did post provocative pictures online, they were all pretty timid in nature, so it was only a matter of time before you started getting messages of people interested in purchasing personal pictures or videos.
There were quite a few older men willing to send you hundreds of dollars for simple photos or videos, but the majority of your buyers were people around your age who chose to purchase access to your private account for a monthly fee. It was always funny to you how some of these people went to your school and either had no idea it was you, or chose to pretend they didn’t know you.
“Enough to pay off my tuition this semester and put some away.”
Chungha nodded to herself, thinking it was impressive. “Get your coin girl.”
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The following morning Taehyung hopped onto the bus with a feeling of guilt settling into the pit of his stomach, a nasty churning sensation that had plagued him in his sleep. It made him forgo his usual kimbap breakfast, afraid he’d hurl it up the second he made eye contact with you on this ride and the last thing he needed was another embarrassing moment to add to the list. 
He shouldn’t have touched himself to those photos that you hadn’t sent to him exclusively, and he definitely shouldn’t have saved them in his likes. Sure they were on a public domain, but still, it made him feel wrong.
He slid into his seat of choice and shoved his earbuds in, drowning out the small hum that filled the vehicle. Taehyung was so focused on trying to fry out the memory of your boobs from his mind by blasting music that he hadn’t noticed the bus stop and the sound of chunky platforms making their way up the aisle.
You sat down a few rows closer than normal, analyzing him for a moment; his dark hair was covering his eyes partially, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his grey windbreaker, and his jean clad legs bouncing rapidly made it so clear he was nervous.
Perfect.
A smile graced your lips as you slipped your phone out, opening up the thread you had with Taehyung, with your very uninterested message being the last thing you had sent him. It’s almost as if the tiny devil on his shoulder called his attention, convincing him to peer over, almost jumping in his seat when he realized you were on the bus and a lot closer than before.
When he saw your attention on your phone instead of him for once, he couldn’t help but think that maybe you had lost interest in this little game. Maybe he had taken it a bit too far and knowing he had jacked off at school to the thought of you had turned you off.
That is until his phone buzzed in his pocket. Sharp eyes darting up and locking onto his right after, a knowing smirk on your face as you raised your hand and waved your fingers at him.
Y/N 8:09am : Hi bus boy.
Oh god.
Why was he so fucking nervous to talk to you god dammit. His eyes drifted back over to you, seeing you still staring at him, your head tilted in curiosity at why he still hadn’t responded.
With slightly trembling hands he begins to type out a response.
Taehyung 8:11am : Hey bu—
His fingers stop when a new message slides up on the screen.
Y/N 8:11am : Thanks for liking my pictures on my blog.
Y/N 8:11am : Saving them for later?
His stomach drops, mind playing a nice little montage of him scrolling through your blog and pressing that damn heart button as fast as he could. How could he be so stupid in thinking he was being discreet?
Taehyung 8:13am : Fuck im so sorry
He couldn’t look back up, his eyes focused on the three dots indicating your typing. It seemed endless. Were you gonna send him a giant paragraph calling him a pig or some other insult, tell him you had blocked his IP address and would be filing a restraining order on him?
Y/N 8:16am : No, it’s my pleasure.
He stared at the text in mild shock, the kissy face emoji at the end taunting him. Were you fucking with him? It honestly seemed like it considering you had hopped up off your seat and walked off the bus, your hips swaying in the small skirt you wore which only taunted him some more.
Taehyung let out a groan as he rubbed his palms into his face in frustration. What the hell was his deal? He felt like a prepubescent boy who had never spoken to a girl let alone slept with one. Maybe he was losing his edge. Regardless, he was done suffering through this alone so he was going to suck up his pride and seek out the help of his friends.
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That was how he found himself once again sitting around the table in the small cafe they all frequented. The six of his friends gave him intent stares at he finished off his story, “And my dumbass didn’t think to maybe not like the pictures for later and she sent me this text the next morning.” He paused to slide his phone into the middle of the table with the message thread lighting up the screen, “And now I don’t know what the hell to do.”
Yoongi pressed his lips together as he shook his head, fingers adjusting the olive green beanie that he had on. “You’re a dumbass.”
Taehyung gave him a shocked expression, the wrinkles in his forehead only deepening when he saw the rest of the guys nodding along in agreement. “What the fuck?”
“What?” Yoongi spoke in a monotone, his eyes playfully narrowing at his friend, taunting him to try to defend himself. 
“How am I a dumbass?”
Jungkook rubbed his hands together momentarily, looking around at the others to see if they were gonna speak up or if he was gonna have to be the one to do it. “Look dude,” he started off when he realized no one was gonna put Tae out of his misery. “You have this girl throwing herself at you, straight up telling you she wants to fuck you, and instead of acting on it you chose to jack off to the thought of her?”
Now that someone had said it outloud Taehyung did feel a bit stupid. 
This was so out of character for him, he was the kind of guy who hit on girls at frat parties and didn’t bother getting more information besides their name before he was taking them upstairs, and now that you were giving him that treatment, he didn’t know what to do.
“Not only are you stupid for not sleeping with her, but who the hell lurks and gets caught? What a rookie mistake!” Hoseok hollers out, causing Jimin and Namjoon to laugh along with him, and Taehyung could only feel his face redden in embarrassment.
Jin had Tae’s phone in his hand, scrolling through the extremely underwhelming messages you two had sent each other when suddenly, it dinged and a new image popped up at the bottom. “Oh wow!”
That caught everyone's attention, all of them leaning over to try to get a glimpse at whatever Jin had seen but he had already locked the phone, the screen turning black and blocking the guys from seeing the teasing picture you had sent Taehyung out of boredom.
“Aw c’mon, what was it?” Jimin whined, staring at the still locked phone that was now in Taehyung’s hands, hands itching to grab the device. 
Taehyung sighed. Did he even want to know?
One glance from Jin told him he sure as hell should, so he dimmed the brightness of his phone before he unlocked it to open up your message. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes made out the image, almost causing him to choke on his spit and make a bigger fool out of himself in front of his friends.
There, sitting all nice and pretty in your thread of messages, was a photo of your thighs spread open, your fingers lifting up the tiny skirt you had on today to reveal a small sliver of the black lace panties you had on. Very suggestive, clearly intent to tease him. 
‘Just for you’, was the only message you had written underneath, no indication that you would send anything else. Taehyung could only stare at the photo in awe, eyes trailing down the smooth skin of your thighs, desperately wanting to zoom in, but he knew his friends would only clown him further. It was pretty timid in nature but still just as sexy.
“Oh fuck,” he groaned out, locking his phone and letting his head fall onto the wooden table like deadweight. No one had any reaction to the rattle of the table, simply stabilizing their drinks as they observed their friend having what appears to be a mental breakdown. 
“What did she send him?” Yoongi whispered to Jin.
“Something mildly NSFW.”
At that, Yoongi reached over and jostled his whole body with force. “Get the fuck up you imbecile. Respond to her!”
“What am I supposed to say?” Tae slurred, cheek smushed against the table and muffling his words.
“Fucking anything is better than the silent treatment dude. Like she just took time out of her day to send you something. You gotta at least tell her she looks hot, or that you like the picture.” Jungkook rolled his eyes like it was the most obvious response, and honestly it was, this was sexting 101. 
“You’re right, I guess.” Taehyung lifted himself back up and unlocked his phone once more, staring at the screen with a distraught expression. “The fuck do I say though?”
Hoseok hummed in thought, tapping his chin as he stared at the lid of his cup. “Depends, what kinda photo was it? Full nude or like a tease?”
“A tease.”
“Oh! Tell her something like, she’s gonna be the death of you, or something along those lines. I’m sure she hears she’s hot all the time, so that's too basic.” Jimin speaks up proudly, his smile widening when Taehyung nods and begins typing out a response with slightly shaky fingers and hits send.
The little sound of the message being sent causes the whole group to let out a sigh of relief, slumping back into their seats and taking sips of their drinks.
“Who knew we’d have to resort to coaching Kim Taehyung on how to sext.” Namjoon snorts, earning a couple of laughs in return, and Taehyung couldn’t help but laugh too because honestly how ridiculous. 
The conversation flows easily once Jungkook starts talking, everyone momentarily forgetting about Taehyung’s situation, which he was grateful for. The current topic at hand was the party that Jungkook and Hoseok were having in a few days at their new apartment, but his attention was taken away from that when he shockingly received another text from you.
Y/N 7:36pm :Now we can’t have you dying on me.
Y/N 7:36pm : In the mood for some drinks? A couple of friends and I are going out tonight.
Y/N 7:37pm : You should come.
He stared at his phone in thought. Fuck, he wanted to go so bad, but because he had spent all day yesterday jerking off to the thought of you he had procrastinated an assignment that was due tonight. Not chill Taehyung was going to be his downfall. 
Taehyung 7:40pm : I wish I could, I have a deadline at 11
Taehyung 7:40pm : Next time?
On the other side of the screen, you were laying in bed in the same outfit you had on earlier, fingers playing with the hem of your skirt as you read his response, a small smile on your face.
In all honesty you weren’t even expecting him to respond to your photo anyways, so this caught you off guard.
Y/N 7:42pm : I’m holding you to that bus boy.
So as you went out with your friends, throwing back shots and dancing your life away to the song playing at the club you guys loved, Taehyung sat at home typing out a bullshit paper as his phone watched your instagram story from time to time.
By the time he was calling it a night after he turned in his assignment you were still posting videos of your friends dancing and pouring drinks into your mouth straight from the bottle. You clearly knew how to have a good time and he couldn’t help but feel a tiny twinge of regret at not going out when you had invited him to.
That same regret seeps into the following morning, rewatching your stories and imagining how much fun he would have had if he decided to forget his assignments and go out with you. It’s safe to say that he was honestly not expecting you to hop on at your usual stop, mainly because he knew from your posts that you didn’t call it a night until 4am and it was currently 7:20am. So, when he saw you step on the bus, he was slightly shocked.
The regular attire he was used to was missing, normally styled hair now up in a messy bun, a thick pair of shades on, and an oversized flannel barely hanging over your shoulder. It was very obvious that you had just rolled out of bed. 
His reaction time was a little slow, but when he saw you continue down the aisle and getting closer to him, he tensed up and held his breath, not releasing it even as you took it upon yourself to sit down right next to him. The two of you being the only passengers at the back of the bus.
“Hi,” you spoke out, turning to look at him as he tried his best to just face forward. A sweet smile passed between you when he finally turned towards you and gave you a small hello in greeting.
That satisfies you, so you wiggle in your seat to get comfy, your hands pulling out a book from your bag and starting to read it to pass the time. Taehyung visibly relaxes at that, happy that your attention was on the book instead of him because he wasn’t sure if he could make it through a conversation this early without embarrassing himself.
You take note of his relaxed frame, his head resting against the window and one earbud in his ear playing some song you couldn’t quite make out. That was when you decided to make your move, your eyes still trained on your book as you let your right hand trail up onto his thigh, letting it rest there for a moment to gauge his reaction.
His thigh tenses instantly at the sensation. “You can tell me to stop and I will,” you whisper, your hand already retreating. You knew he was attracted to you but you weren’t gonna do something to him if he was uncomfortable.
Taehyung sits there for a moment, having an internal debate, because fuck does he want you to touch him, but he’s also on public transportation and he’s not sure what the fine is for public indecency. The inner debate is splayed on his features, but in the end the pros outweigh the cons, so he reaches out and grabs your hand, placing it higher up on his thigh.
“No, keep going.”
It was genuine curiosity to see how far you would actually go, and when you told him to put his backpack over his thighs he knew you were being serious. He listened to your instructions and waited with baited breath as he felt your fingertips trail around his crotch, ghost touches sending a small shiver down his spine.
His dick was already twitching in his pants and you had barely even touched him. Your fingers tugged on the string of his black track suits and slipped behind the waistband of them, trailing down his skin and feeling his stomach twitch at the contact. You settled with palming him over his boxers, hearing Taehyung let out a small grunt at the feeling, his dick slowly hardening under your touch.
He was very responsive to your touch, thighs tensing up as he tried to fight back the urge to buck his hips for more friction and it fueled your excitement. 
Considering this was a risky move, you decided to stop torturing him with teasing touches and finally slid your hand past the material of his boxers, wasting no time in wrapping your hand around his thick cock.
Taehyung could feel the blood pumping in his ears as he dropped his head forward with a choked gasp, resting his forehead on the seat in front of him because he knew he wouldn’t be able to disguise his facial expressions if anyone were to look back.
Every jerk of your hand made his breath hitch. Your hands felt like magic, pulling up to twist around the swollen head and gathering his precum before coming back down. God, he wanted to rip his pants down so he wouldn’t feel so confined.
In the perfect display of nonchalance, you still had the book in your left hand, eyes cast down on the page as if your right hand wasn’t focused on his sensitive tip with determination to make him break down. On occasion, you would glance over and smile to yourself at his facial expression, seeing how his eyes were screwed shut as his forehead rested on the seat, alternating between chewing on his bottom lip or just licking his lips and leaving his mouth open as he tried to suppress the moans he wanted to let out. 
“Fuck.” The first crack to his exterior had him finally mumbling out as you picked up the pace, his eyes opening up and looking over at you for a moment, needing to solidify that he wasn’t imagining this. There would be nothing worse than coming face to face with his bed sheets as he awoke from a dream instead of you actually getting him off. 
But there you were, looking so at peace, staring at him with an innocent smile like you weren’t about to make him cum in his pants embarrassingly quick. “You close?”
He let out a small whine as he nodded, finally losing the final bit of self control and bucking his hips to meet your hand, hearing the small thump of your palm against his skin. “Cum for me. I wanna feel you make a mess.”
With eyes sparkling with mischief, you tightened your grip on him as you sped up, your bottom lip being chewed on by your teeth while you watched him come undone. His eyebrows were furrowed, a small frown on his face as he opened his mouth in a silent moan, something you desperately wished you could hear. Harsh pants of breath fanned across the back of the seat as he groaned, fingers gripping the material of his backpack to stop himself from digging his nails into his palm as he neared his release. With a few more pumps, his whole body tensed up as he finally came, stomach twitching while you milked his orgasm.
Taehyung vision blanks for a moment while aftershocks filled his body, dots of light flickering across his eyes until it all came back, and as he realized you were staring at him in awe he could have sworn he was gonna cum again. Your hand was still slowly pumping him, feeling his dick twitch at the overstimulation but he couldn’t get himself to tell you to stop, enjoying the small ache of sensitivity too much. 
It wasn’t until he started to softly grunt at the pleasure that turned painful that you pulled your hand out of his pants, content smile spread across your lips. Taehyung sat there limp, his body feeling like absolute jello, thighs still shaking from his climax. He can already imagine how unsteady his legs will be once it's time to get off the bus. 
You stared at your hand, eyeing the small milky beads of cum on your fingers and you didn’t think twice before popping them in your mouth and sucking on them as you stared right at him. “That was fun. Thanks bus boy.”
He watched in a daze as you stuffed the book back into your bag and got up from your seat, giving him a wide smile while you walked up to the front of the bus. It was only then that he realized both of you had arrived at your college, the boring commute speeding by thanks to your antics. With a spared glance at the displeased bus driver, Taehyung shot up from his seat, cringing at his still sensitive dick and the uncomfortable sticky feeling in his pants.
You were absolutely going to be the death of him
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Taehyung was weak, bottom-of-the-food-chain, top tier simp material for you. All it took was one handjob for him to be stuck on you, constantly waiting for any form of interaction you would give him. It was pure infatuation—and a little pathetic—but he wasn’t sure how he felt about you. It was like his brain was torn between trying to get to know you in a more personal way, or just going with the flow and fucking you like you had originally offered. It just made him feel more confused, and a little naive, because it was so clear that you had no romantic feelings for him.
This experience had filled Taehyung with a small sense of guilt, he now knew how the girls he treated this way felt. The constant stringing along and nonchalant carefree aura he would have when he would hook up with girls who clearly wanted more, it was fucking frustrating being on the receiving end and even more frustrating because he knew if he really wanted it to stop all he had to do was ask.
But Taehyung couldn’t get himself to ask you to stop. You had a grasp on him, and you did it so easily, which is why when he didn’t see you on the bus the following day he felt his heart drop a little. 
Sure, he hadn’t noticed you prior but considering it had been a few weeks of constant contact in one form or another, he just found it a little odd now. His hand was twitching with the urge to send you a text and ask if you were feeling okay but he stopped himself in fear of sounding like a clingy mess. 
“Any progress on the mystery babe?” Jungkook asked as they waited in line at the fast food joint near school. 
Taehyung smirked a little at that, memories of yesterday's random handjob coming back to mind. “Sort of.”
Jungkook scoffed, “Sort of? Dude c’mon, just shoot her a text and tell her you wanna hang out, or be blunt and ask her to fuck.”
In retrospect that would be the typical route Taehyung would take, but there was something about you being so in control of this dynamic that had him so unsure of himself. “Look man, she’s different.”
“Oh no—“ And immediately Taehyung knew how that had come out. “Do not say you like her. You barely know her.”
He raised his hands in front of him, “No! Not like that Kook! I just mean that I don’t know how to act.” He let out a sigh, feeling annoyed with himself with this entire situation. “I hope I don’t sound like a total douchebag saying this, but I’m used to girls who let me take charge in situations you know?”
Jungkook nodded, staring at his friend as he spoke, “Girls that basically follow me around and let me decide if I wanna keep them around—and I hate how I sound speaking like that—but it’s the only way I can explain it.” He let out another defeated sigh, definitely something that had become a common form of expression for him. “She doesn’t do that shit, and I don’t know how to act like myself because of it.”
The younger man nodded again, knowing exactly what he meant. “I knew a girl like that, honestly the best two months of my life. Look dude, if she's making it clear that she doesn’t want anything serious then what's the dilemma? She’s confident in herself and you shouldn’t feel intimidated by that.”
Taehyung hummed at that, he was right as Jungkook continued, “And who knows, maybe she’ll help you realize that chains and whips excite you.”
And there was typical Jeon Jungkook. “I fucking hate you.”
Jungkook let out a cackle before turning his attention to the poor cashier who unfortunately had to hear the end of his statement. As he ordered for himself and Taehyung, the latter felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He was half expecting it to be a message from Hoseok asking him some dumb question, so when he saw your name on his screen he thought he was hallucinating. 
Y/N 12:17pm : Hope you didn’t miss me too much today
Y/N 12:17pm : Come to this
Y/N 12:17pm : You promised me next time bus boy
Attached to the messages was a photo of a party flyer he was very familiar with. It was the silly flyer Jungkook had spent around 5 minutes making to promote their party tomorrow night, and the fact that you had come across it either meant it really got around or you had a mutual friend. 
He looked up momentarily as Jungkook tapped him, motioning for him to follow to an empty table as they waited for the food. Taehyung blindly walked behind him, eyes downcast on his screen as he typed a response. 
Taehyung 12:19pm : I’ll be there
Your response was instant and it caught him off guard because you usually lagged on messages. 
Y/N 12:19pm : I’ll be waiting
But it seemed like Taehyung would be the one waiting. He was standing at the corner of the living room with a drink in his hand and his phone in the other, waiting for you to text him as his eyes scanned the current room. 
Jungkook stood beside him, animatedly talking to a cute girl who had grabbed his interest, too busy to notice his friend eyeing the room like a hawk. Taehyung wanted to wander off and find someone for himself, but the idea that you would eventually be here kept him glued to one spot. 
It was nearing midnight and people were already making messes of themselves, passed out on the couch and some even on the front lawn. Jungkook and Hoseok’s new place was more spacious than their last, but it was definitely overcrowding so people were coming in and out frequently from the front to the backyard to get some fresh air.
“I'm gonna go get another drink.” He told Jungkook, who waved him off and continued his conversation while Taehyung made his way to the kitchen. 
He used the same cup he had in his hand and filled it up with vodka and cranberry juice, his favorite drink of choice right next to drinking it straight. Then suddenly, it was like a magnet forced him to look up and over his shoulder, and that's when he spotted you and your group of friends. 
You all walked in with big smiles on your faces, one of your friends walking over to Hoseok and giving him a hug, and that's who he assumed the mutual friend was. Your hair was flipped over your shoulder as you played with it with your hands, small crop top showing just enough cleavage and your stomach, and Taehyung could just feel himself staring. 
That's when your eyes met his, and they glinted with something he couldn’t pinpoint. Your target had been acquired, and as he saw you making your way over to him he choked a bit on his drink. 
“Bus boy.” Was all you told him, a smile on your face as you easily slipped beside him against the counter, elbows resting casually on the cool surface as you leaned back.
“Hey...bus girl.” he awkwardly responded, feeling like an idiot immediately after. You only giggled, your fingers wrapping around his own on the cup as you brought it from its place against Tae’s mouth over to your own for a sip. 
“Mm, vodka cranberry?” You licked your lips, and his eyes were glued on them. “How’d you know that's my drink of choice?”
“Lucky guess?” He slowly responded back, gently taking the cup back from your grasp when you handed it over, his eyes glancing at the sticky residue your gloss left on the rim of the cup.
You were analyzing him, watching him standing there with an aura of unsureness around him. You see, you knew of Taehyung, had a couple of friends who had hooked up with him, and this is not what they described him as. They always told you he was assertive, the first to make a move and once he had he was aggressive in bed in the best way. That’s why he had caught your attention, you wanted to see how hard it would be to crack him, break him down until he was begging and pleading since he was so used to taking charge. The possibility of having him on his knees, holding on to your every word, made this sick sense of pleasure creep up your spine.
Taehyung was handsome, that wasn’t up for debate, but you could see him biting his lips almost like he had a million things he wanted to say to you but was afraid they wouldn’t come out right. Cracking him might be easier than you thought.
“Did I miss all the fun?” The question hung in the air for a moment as flashes from the night played through his head. Jungkook kicking out some dude for trying to piss in the kitchen sink, Hoseok doing a line of who knows what off some girls boobs and her boyfriend trying to fight him, among a plethora of incidents in the span of a few hours. 
“No, definitely not. The night is still young.”
You only stared at him, waiting for his eyes to finally look at yours instead of pretending like he didn't notice you. And finally, they did, narrowing a bit in suspicion as he wondered what you were thinking in your head. 
“So,” you began, confidently grabbing his drink again. “Have you taken my offer into consideration?”
He was so focused seeing your tongue lick your lips to catch the remaining moisture of the drink that he almost didn't hear your question. “I’m sorry, what offer?”
A small laugh left your lips at his question. “You really forgot already?” You only gave him a moment of silence before you continued, “The offer that involves you fucking me, or are you turning it down?”
Taehyung froze, taking in your facial expression before answering. Your mouth held the same sinfully evil smirk it always had, head tilted slightly as you handed his drink back to him and shot him a wink before you sauntered off towards your friends who had watched the entire exchange go down.
They instantly tugged your wrist and yanked you towards the sliding doors that lead to the backyard where a game of beer pong was going down. Chungha was all giggles, not being able to believe the new person of interest in your eyes was Kim Taehyung.
Taehyung on the other hand just let his eyes follow your body until the sliding door was shut once more. He had taken too long to respond to your question, his mind had been shouting at him to just blurt out that yes, he had taken your offer into consideration and he one hundred percent wanted to fuck you. Too bad his mouth decided to sew itself shut. 
He took another swig of his drink, swallowing harshly with a bit of determination set on his mind. By the end of the night he had to make a move on you, that much was for sure. He was tired of you always having the upper hand with every interaction you had. This party was his element for fucks sake, he was a seasoned pro when it came to sleeping with random girls at house parties. The only difference this time was that none of them had come on to him as boldly as you had, but that wasn’t a problem at all.
Jungkook slapped a palm on his shoulder, making his drink slosh in the cup and catching him by surprise. When Tae looked away from the sliding door and over to his left, he could see Jungkook was also looking in the same direction with a knowing smile on his face. “Oh man, she’s trouble.”
Tae’s eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. “Wait, who?”
“Y/N, man. Who else?” He released his grip on the older one's shoulder, taking a sip of the beer in his other hand while he nodded his head in thought.
Taehyung was clearly out of the loop here, “How do you know her?” He mentally sorted through the girls he had seen Jungkook with in the past, even trying hard to remember any girls he had mentioned in passing and you had never come up.
Jungkook took another drink of his beer, wondering how to go about this carefully. He could be honest with Tae and tell him he had met you last semester at a club that was popular with the students at the university. How you had been the absolute best sex of his life for two steady months, and then suddenly dropped him without a care in the world—which would have absolutely crushed Jungkook if he let himself get attached but he hadn’t, he swore he hadn’t. He was kinda shocked and very amused that you had chosen his best friend as your new target, even if it was purely coincidental.
In the end, he decided being honest wasn’t necessary. “It’s not important, just know she’s pure trouble in the best way. Is she the bus girl you always talk about?”
That answer didn’t satisfy Tae but he was too busy thinking about how to make a move on you to dive deeper. “Yeah, she is.”
Jungkook nodded, hearing Jimin calling him from somewhere in the house with a very slurred voice. “Well, I hope you’re planning on making a move on her tonight or I’ll let all the guys know what a pussy you are.” He jostled Tae’s shoulders once more with a hearty laugh before running off towards Jimin who was surely drunk as fuck.
Outside of the house stood you and your friends, surrounding the beer pong game going on between Yoongi and Seulgi. Your eyes were peering behind you, staring through the glass doors as you watched Jungkook speaking to Taehyung for a brief moment. You smiled to yourself, knowing the small mess you might be causing between friends but not caring enough to stop it.
“This winning shot is for you gorgeous!” Yoongi shouted out, blowing a sloppy kiss out towards Sunmi before tossing the ping pong ball haphazardly towards the last remaining cup and somehow making it in. 
“That winning shot made me lose!” Sunmi erupted in laughter while everyone cheered at the end of the game. Seulgi rolled her eyes with a playful smile before chugging the last cup and walking back to your group.
“I don’t know how that fucker beat me considering his blood alcohol content should have his ass in a coma.” 
You laughed, throwing your arm over her shoulder and tugging her closer to you. “It’s because Sunmi told him that she’d give him her number if he got the winning cup. I guess desperation makes boys a little more sober.”
“Pigs.” She grumbled with a laugh, watching as Sunmi and Yoongi exchanged information, both of them looking like flustered children with blushing cheeks. “Anyways, are you gonna torture that poor boy inside all night?”
“Hm,” you hummed to yourself. “Is it really torture if I gave him a way in?”
“Oh please Y/N, has any boy ever taken to your advances that quickly? You’re intimidating as fuck, in the sexiest way possible. He’s probably not used to girls telling him shit like that so he doesn’t know what to do.”
“Yeah, but Yuna told me he was blunt as fuck with her when they slept together.” Your eyes peered back inside, no longer being able to see Taehyung.
“Yuna? Kang Yuna?” You nodded, looking up at Seulgi and seeing a look of disbelief on her face, “Dude, she’s the most timid, shy, submissive girl I’ve ever met. Guys eat that shit up. That’s what guys like Taehyung are used to. You spicing it up has him second guessing everything, so I say you keep it up. Be two steps ahead of him.”
You knew she was right, even though this was an exciting game of cat and mouse for you, you'd be lying if you said you weren’t slightly interested in him for more than just a one night stand. 
“You gonna play?” Chunga popped in beside you, a grin on her face as she held a white ping pong ball in her hands. You smiled back and gave her a nod, letting her tug you towards the table being set up.
Yoongi stood wobbling on the other side, claiming to want to hold on to his winning title but the boy was clearly close to passing out from the amount of alcohol in his system. That was when another boy stood beside him, his frame towering over Yoongi’s and a charming smile on his plump lips as he tried to coax Yoongi into going inside to drink some water.
Chungha hummed in approval as she took his appearance in. “Wow he’s...”
“Yummy?”
She snorted out, “Oh yeah, definitely yummy.”
Yoongi was bickering with said yummy boy until Sunmi approached him again and put on her best flirtatious look to get him to follow her inside the house. He was done for after that, handing his friend the ball in his hand with a lazy wave, his half lidded eyes trailing down Sunmi’s body as she dragged him behind her. He probably thought he would be getting laid tonight but Sunmi was in mom mode, so unless he was ready to down a gallon of water and sober up, the only thing he would be doing is going straight to sleep.
“Hey, yummy guy, are you playing or not?”
He looked startled by the nickname, his hand coming up to point at his chest in confusion. When you and Chungha gave him a look that said yeah you his mouth opened up slightly before he was smiling again. “Yummy? Wow, can’t say I’m opposed to being called that.” He started to laugh at that and Chungha sighed at the sound, yup she was a sucker. 
“I don’t have a partner to play against you two.”
You stepped back from the table with a shrug. “Don’t mind me, he’s all yours Chungha.”
They instantly started chatting with each other, playful threats and possible bets being made for whoever lost this game, but you weren’t planning on staying to watch this go down. The friends you had left on the sidelines watched you saunter away and they knew exactly where you were headed.
You wandered inside the crowded home and let your eyes scan the room, the kitchen was immediately to the left of you, a group of boys huddled around the alcohol as they made drinks, but no sign of Taehyung. Grabbing the lone vodka bottle from the counter, you took a quick swig before you resumed your hunt, ignoring the nasty burn to your throat. 
A few more steps inside towards the living room didn’t reveal him either, too many bodies moving together to some random beat playing through the speakers placed around. There was a hallway to the left and another to the right, you chose to go towards the right side, side stepping random cups left on the floor. 
A few voices were at the end of the hall, coming out of the only open door so you continued near them, desperate to see a familiar face until you came to a stop in front of the bathroom. You rested your shoulder against the door frame, seeing Jungkook leaning over his friend’s hunched form as he clung to the toilet bowl. Although this was a familiar face, he was not the one you were searching for. 
As if sensing your presence, he looked up and over at you, a gentle smile gracing his face when he saw it was you. “You got the invite I see.”
You smiled back at him. “I did. So did the rest of my friends, you know, from Hoseok.” The drunken friend on the floor dry heaved for a moment, making Jungkook look back down at them and pat their back. 
“He’s probably on the front lawn smoking by the way.” He spoke again, not needing you to explain who you were looking for, and you were grateful because you weren’t in the mood to play dumb. 
You pushed off the door frame and stepped back, hearing him shout out a sarcastic ‘I know you miss me’ as you walked away. “Save it Jeon!” You playfully shouted back. You knew he missed you, he had told you plenty of times ever since you decided to stop sleeping with him. 
Of course Jeon Jungkook had been a good fuck, having been one of your favorite switches. Very true to his reputation, he could fuck you all night long with no issues, bringing you to orgasm enough times until you were crying for him to stop, while also letting you tie him up until he was the one begging—but he’d gotten attached. 
He could deny it all he wanted, but you sensed the change instantly. It creeped up in moments where he’d ask you to spend the night instead of leaving after hooking up, seeping into him asking you to hang out in day to day life instead of just 3am booty calls. And that just wasn’t something you were interested in having at the time. It wasn’t a jab at Jungkook, he was a nice guy if you were being honest, but that was old news. 
So as the music blasted in the house, sounding muffled to your ears, you walked with a purpose, weaving in between people as you crossed the living room and reached the front door. 
The fresh air met you the second you pushed the door open, loud bass spilling out of the house and into the front lawn, dimly lit up by the porch light. It allowed you to instantly spot Taehyung, a barely lit blunt between his fingers as he spoke to a taller boy beside him. At the sound of the door opening they both looked over in your direction, the taller one offering you a smile while Taehyung took a drag and gave you a nervous wave. 
You weren’t going to bother talking to him out here, he turned into a deer caught in headlights whenever you did so you just walked over to him, plucked the blunt from between his fingers and handed it to his friend before wrapping your hand around his wrist and dragging him behind you. The two of you needed to be alone, not around drunk party goers, or both of your nosey friends. 
Taehyung didn’t resist at all, looking over at Namjoon and seeing his friend had a shit eating grin on his face as he got dragged inside. You clearly had a mission, shoving your way through the sea of bodies again as you trekked to the opposite hallway this time, going for the only room on this side of the house. 
The bedroom door got thrown open and thankfully no one was inside of it. Taehyung slammed the door shut behind him and locked it as you turned to face him, inches separating you and you let out a soft breath at the close proximity. “Do you want this?”
His mind fogged over briefly as he watched your fingers playing with the hem of your shirt, slowly inching it up to reveal more skin. “Yes, I do.” 
Those were the words to set it all in motion, hands yanking your shift off your body and tossing it aside, leaving you standing in your bra for him to ogle at. 
“Better than the photos huh?” you tease with a honey-sweet voice, reminding him of his deep dive onto your blog while your hands slid behind your back to unhook your bra and let it completely slide off. 
Taehyung couldn’t help but stare as your hands came up to give your boobs a squeeze. “Fuck.”
He stepped forward, wanting to finally touch you but you tsk in disapproval, shaking your finger at him and it just made him pout. Isn’t that what you wanted from him?
His breath hitched in his throat when you stepped even closer, tips of your fingers trailing from his shoulders to his chest, down to the hem, bunching the fabric in your grasp as you tugged it up and off of him. His arms raised up with no protest as you undressed him, wide eyes just watching your every move, ready to do whatever you asked of him. It was so out of character for him, but that much could be said about every interaction he’s had with you so he goes with the flow of it all. 
Goosebumps rose up on his tan skin as you trailed your hands down to play with the button on his jeans, fiddling with it to tease him. You wanted to cover his chest and stomach in hickeys, marking every inch of him up, bruising and teasing him until he was pleading for you to suck his cock. There was just something about him that made you want to see him flushed and desperate. 
He could see you lost in thought as you stared at his body, now hyper aware of the fact that he wasn’t absolutely ripped, but you liked that. His arms came up again in an attempt to pull you in to kiss you, but you stopped him once more, finally snapping out of your daze.
“Do you deserve to touch me?” His mind blanked at your tone, the slight edge he had heard the first time you spoke was back, and something about it made his body tingle. “Hm?” you hummed when he remained quiet.
That glint in your eye returned and his head shook without him realizing, no he didn’t deserve to touch you.
“Take it all off and lay on the bed,” you spoke sternly, the smirk on your face growing when he did as you said. His body hunched over and stumbled as he stripped out of his pants and boxers, his shoes and socks long gone beside them. Taehyung followed instructions and laid on the bed, feeling a little guilty that poor Hoseok’s bed would be defiled like this, but when you slid off your own pants and underwear he couldn’t find himself to care anymore. 
His cock was already hard and twitching as it laid against his stomach, and he could feel the small pool of precum gathering under his belly button, leaving a sticky mess on his skin. You hadn’t even touched him and he was this riled up already, terrified he would cum the second you decided to touch him, so his hand came to grasp the base of his cock and gave it a firm squeeze.
That action wasn’t lost on you as you slowly approached him, your knees resting on the mattress while you shuffled towards his body. Your fingertips trailed up his thighs softly, going around his cock and up his chest where your nails lightly grazed his nipple. His body shuddered at the touch, and the way your teeth sunk into your bottom lip at the reaction made him nervous.
You swung your leg over his waist, hovering above his skin but not making contact just yet. Taehyung had never been patient, his eagerness getting the best of him, and just as his hands rose up—about to touch your hips and force you to plop down on his cock—your own hands reacted, grasping his before he could touch you and bringing them above his head, successfully catching him off guard. 
“You said you don’t deserve to touch me.”
His eyes widened in realization, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to think of a way to take back the words that he said earlier. Fuck, he wanted to touch you, he could see your pussy hovering inches over his cock, and he bet he could slide right into you from how wet you looked, already picturing the feeling of your warmth as he sunk into you. 
Your hands grasped both of his wrists, leaving his arms pinned above his head as your other hand reached down, and he held his breath. There was a brief moment where he thought you’d show him mercy, hoping you were going to grab his dick from between your bodies, but when he saw your index and middle fingers part your lower lips he let a groan escape him. You trailed them up your slit and back down to circle around your entrance with a quiet hum, bringing your fingers back up in front of Taehyung’s eyes, watching him stare at them in awe as you separated them and your slick strung across from them.
“It’s a shame.” Your eyes trailed up to his hands again, seeing them clenched together in your grasp. “I’d love to have your hands inside me, but maybe next time.”
“No,” he croaked out, hips desperately lifting up in hopes of grinding into your pussy but he fell short. “Please, let me touch you.”
The begging satisfied the sick itch you were hoping to scratch, leaving you grinning above him. You had just started, yet his eyebrows were already furrowed, eyes locked in a trance on your fingers that were still in front of his face. 
“Not today, baby. Do you want a taste though?” He was nodding the second the proposal left your mouth. Taehyung licked his lips in desperation, mouth opening up as you brought them towards his lips, his neck craning forward and wrapping his lips around your fingers to taste the remnants of your arousal. His tongue flicked between your fingers as he sucked like his life depended on it, the urgency displayed had more wetness gushing out of you, and when Taehyung’s eyes darted towards his abdomen, he saw that some of it had dripped onto the skin below where you hovered.
You pulled your fingers out of his mouth and brought them back between your legs to tease yourself further. “Fuck, this could’ve been you doing this to me Taehyung.” You gasped out as your fingers flicked over your clit repeatedly and he whimpered, head falling back to rest on the pillows because he couldn’t take watching you get yourself off above him while his dick lay hard and leaking right below you.
You snickered to yourself, finally deciding to take some pity on the man, reaching below you to grasp his cock. His neck tensed up at the action, head whipping back up to make sure he wasn’t imaging anything. But there you were, small hands barely wrapping around his thick cock as you gave it a gentle tug. Your fingers were covered in your slick, making the glide feel delicious, spreading your arousal around his length and mixing with his own in a sinful combination. 
Taehyung’s chest heaved slightly as you picked up your pace, your fingers coming up to play with his pink tip before going back down quickly, hands set to tease him. He was trying to stop himself from moaning, you already had his arms restrained, he didn't want to give you this much power over him, but when your hands came down to fondle his balls he couldn’t hold back the needy whine that left him. The desperation behind him just made your pussy clench, and you really wish he could fuck you, but you weren’t going to let him get his way this easily, not when he hadn’t worked for it.
“Keep your hands there.” You spoke firmly as you released your grasp on them, smirking at his obedience when his fingers chose to wrap around the poles of the headboard behind him instead. He wasn’t sure what you were going to do, but he was hoping your next move would be sinking onto his cock. 
“Wait,” he spoke up as you placed both your hands on his chest. “I don’t have a condom,” he admitted, face scrunching up when he saw you freeze in your action of dropping down on top of him.
“Oh,” you cooed, left hand coming up to cup his cheek tenderly. “Don’t worry about that.” His heart was torn because although he loved going without a condom, he didn’t know you enough to trust continuing without one. “You’re not fucking me.”
And now his heart was shredded, thrown into a dumpster, and set on fire. “What?”
Your fingers traced his cheek softly as you smiled at him. “Only good boys get to fuck me and you—“ you patted his skin in a gentle, yet firm, slap. “—haven’t been good.” 
A pout forms on his lips because now he’s desperate, and also confused. Why would you strip out of all your clothes just to tease him like this? Were you going to finish yourself off on top of him and just leave? He wasn’t entirely against that scenario because he’s sure it would be hot as fuck, but his dick was literally throbbing.
He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t notice you had shuffled down a bit and rested your dripping pussy right on top of his cock, your lips parting slightly as you rocked your hips forward. And then he was gasping, his hands detaching from the headboard and instinctively wanting to grab your hips, but they stopped an inch or so away, catching his own mistake. His fingers remained trembling in the air, a moan finally leaving his lips at the feeling of you grinding on his cock, the relief of you not leaving him high and dry taking over.
Keeping your palms on his chest, you used them as leverage to help you move, a wicked smile on your face when you saw the internal debate he was having. He could touch you if he really wanted to, he could say fuck your rules and grip your hips so hard they’d bruise, but he didn’t. He listened to you, his shaking hands retreating back to the headboard with a groan of restraint.
“Good boy,” you spoke softly, his cock twitching at the praise. He liked this, the foreign feeling of being pliant underneath you, letting you call all of the shots, it was igniting a warmth inside of him that he never expected. 
Taehyung could feel his stomach becoming a sticky mess from his precum and your wetness dripping down from his cock, but he didn’t care, he loved when it was messy, loved hearing the squelching sound filling the room every time you rocked your hips. The fact that you were this drenched from teasing him just turned him on more, and he really wanted to say fuck it and ask you to sink onto his cock, but you told him to be a good boy so that’s what he would do.
“Feel good?”
“S-so good,” he whined out, breathy and strained, almost as if he didn’t want to admit to it. 
His thighs were tense and aching, forcing himself to not thrust forward in fear that you’d stop what you were doing, small moans leaving his lips when the tip of his cock would brush against your clit. He looked fucked out underneath you, eyes blown open as he locked onto the spot between you two, watching his messy cock peek out between your legs when you’d grind your hips back.
Taehyung had never cum from doing this, it was something he had never tried before; he was used to the quickness of fucking at parties, some fingering being involved before he slid in from behind. But he could feel himself edging closer to his release embarrassingly fast, the sinful moans leaving your mouth only aiding in pushing him over faster.
You had a good rhythm going, his cock trapped between his stomach and your pussy, and even though he was trying his best not to be vocal, you could see he was close to falling apart. His hands were clenching the headboard so hard they were paling, and if that wasn’t enough of an indication his face surely said it all. 
Leaning over his body, you let your face inch closer to his as you sped up your hips. At your proximity Taehyung finally spoke up, “Can I-fuc—” he shuddered, “—can I please kiss you?”
Your eyebrow cocked up at his request, not expecting that to be what he wanted from you. “You want to kiss me?”
Taehyung's dark hair bounced on his head as he nodded frantically. “Yes,” he gasped out, squirming underneath you as you bucked harder on top of him.
He wanted to kiss you, your lips looked so soft and shiny, and he wanted to feel them on top of his. Honestly what he really wanted was to flip you over and fuck you senseless—he had the power to—the weight of you on him was nothing he couldn’t overpower, but something about you being in control of his pleasure was doing things to him.
When your hair grazed his chest from you dropping down, his heart skipped but your lips chose to kiss his neck instead, small traces and licks on his skin as you trailed up towards his jaw until finally you reached his lips. They were tacky from your lip gloss but he didn’t care, they felt as soft as he imagined, and when you snuck your tongue into the mix Taehyung whimpered into your mouth. His eyes fluttered shut at the feeling, pleasure rolling over him in waves that only intensified when you wrapped your lips around his tongue and sucked. 
You could feel his body tensing up from underneath you, his climax creeping up on him, so you rocked faster, sinking your teeth into his plump bottom lip and tugging back. That was the final push before he was cumming, face screwed up the same way it was on the bus and a rough groan that you swallowed with another kiss.
Fuck, he was beautiful.
Another moan spilled out as you continued your movements, feeling his cum splashing up towards his chest from the force, some of it dribbling down his cock and settling onto your pussy. “Wow,” you mused, lips pulling back from his and looking down to see the mess he had made, his breathing continuing to shudder until you came to a stop.
Taehyung kept his grip on the headboard, a lot more limp than before, vision hazy from his orgasm and entire body tingling. You lifted up from him and shuffled further down, licking the trail of cum on his stomach with a grin when you noticed how his sensitive cock twitched at the visual. 
Trying to save face, he turned his head into his upper arm to shield himself, the small burn of embarrassment felt at the fact that he had just blown his load from you grinding on him in record time.
You weren’t finished with him yet though, your body still slowly sliding down him, fingers leaving feather-like touches on his skin that he mistook as you soothing his shuddering body, until they grasped his cock.
“Oh,” he winced, feeling your fingers grazing his sensitive dick, your mouth quickly enveloping it, making his back arch from the sudden sensation. It was no secret that Taehyung had a love for overstimulation, constantly toeing the line between pain and pleasure when he continued to jack off after cumming, but your warm mouth was new.
His sore fingers released the headboard, elbows straightening up because he had to watch this, had to burn this point of view into his mind forever. You were crouched at the bottom of the bed on your knees, ass up in the air as you swallowed his cock, your tongue swirling around it when you felt it start to harden again.
“H-hurts,” he admitted with his hips twitching, not sure if he wanted to thrust into your mouth or back away. Your hands rested on his hips to stop them from moving as his dick slipped out of your mouth with a pop.
“You want me to stop?” One hand was lazily jerking him as you spoke, his dick twitching in your grasp once more. 
No, no he was loving this. The pleasure was sharp but it was spreading a warmth throughout his body. Could he cum again?
He was clearly having a hard time deciding if he wanted you to stop or not, the wrinkles on his forehead deepening as he moaned softly, but Taehyung liked the pain, you could tell.
When your mouth took him in again he gasped lewdly, his elbows giving out and letting him flop back on the bed with a thump, fingers gripping the crumpled sheets beneath him. “No, no,” he whimpered again when you hollowed your cheeks and sucked. “Don’t stop, god.”
He could feel you smirking around his cock, your tongue coming out to flick the tip of his dick, red and swollen and once again dripping. One of your hands wrapped around the part you couldn’t reach, squeezing and tugging in time with your mouth; the other was dipped between your own thighs, fingers sinking into your cunt and thrusting them to match your motions.
Taehyung had his hands gripping onto the bed sheets to stop them from tangling into your hair and forcing you to take all of him, but his head peeked up, and when he saw you playing with yourself he sat back up, hips finally coming up to thrust into your mouth. Whimpers of pain and pleasure filled the room, the muscles in his neck pulled taut as he felt pressure start to bloom in his lower stomach. 
He wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle having another orgasm, every time he’d hit the back of your throat he felt the wind get knocked out of him, knees acting on reflex and shooting up to try to squirm away from your grasp.
The want to scold him was strong but you were getting closer to cumming, and seeing him losing control only made you moan around his cock. You pulled your fingers out of yourself, and with a few more flicks on your clit you were cumming. Taehyung watched in awe as your hips stuttered, and the moan you let out just urged him to keep thrusting into your mouth. 
His fingers were sore from the grip he had on the sheets and when he saw the drool leaking out of your mouth as you sunk all the way down, he finally felt the band snap, a throaty moan leaving his lips as he bowed his back into the mattress, the pain and pleasure blending together beautifully and bringing him to one of the best orgasms of his life. This load was a lot smaller than the last, but he was completely spent now, body lying limp on the bed as he tried to catch his breath.
Swallowing the cum on your tongue with a smirk, you took him in your mouth once more to tease, pulling back and placing a gentle kiss on the tip of his soft cock. 
“Such a good boy.” You teased as you made your way back up to him with a genuine smile on your face. Your soft lips pressed against his again, mouth opening up and he could taste himself on your tongue but he didn’t mind it. With a little hesitance, his hand came up to finally touch you, fingers tangling into your hair as he deepened the kiss, your teeth clashing together a few times because he couldn’t get enough. 
He watched as you pulled back from him, your tongue tracing your lips while you flipped your hair behind you again. “You know, you’re pretty when you cum.” And he doesn’t know why, but the statement made him blush. No one had ever told him he looked pretty when he came.
“Thank you?”
You giggled, still on top of him. “You’re welcome. I’ll be thinking of it when I touch myself later.” You gave him another quick peck before you got off of him and started putting your clothes back on. Taehyung was in a state of shock as he observed you, he had cum twice and still hadn’t fucked you, and you were very clearly getting a kick out of it. 
A final adjustment was done to your skirt before running your fingers through your hair, looking back at him still limp on his friend's bed, limbs resembling jello. It was cute, but you knew you had to trail him along further so you shot him a wink, opening up the bedroom door and waltzing out like you hadn’t just ruined him.
The haze that surrounded him whenever you were around him faded as you left and Taehyung sprung into action with a yelp, wrapping Hoseok's comforter around his naked body when he saw that you left the door open. Luckily no one was around, but he still rushed up with the sheets to close the door, legs feeling a little wobbly. With the door securely locked, he rested his weight against it, letting Hoseok’s ruined sheets fall from his body into a heap on the floor, his hand coming up to run through his messy hair.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he groaned in disbelief, balling up the sheets and stuffing them into the small hamper by the closet, they barely fit but it didn’t matter. Taehyung felt lost and a little unsatisfied, he knew he wouldn’t be able to feel completely satisfied until he actually fucked you. All he had to do was say it, you were dangling it right in front of him and he was too tongue tied to tell you how he actually felt. It was like all vocabulary and sense of communication was wiped clean whenever you were within a certain radius of him.
He slid back into his clothes, grabbing the tissues Hoseok conveniently had next to his bed, and wiped the small residue that was still on his stomach before he put his shirt back on. When his heart stopped pounding and he thought he was decent, he exited the room. Taehyung was set on finding you and speaking to you like a normal human being, his mind now cleared after those orgasms, so he felt sort of confident that he’d be able to get out a coherent sentence without sounding like an insecure loser.
Jungkook spotted him as he emerged from the hallway, his bunny smile spreading across his face when he saw how disheveled his friend looked, and considering he had seen you exit from that same spot minutes prior he knew what had gone down.
“Hey buddy.” Jungkook cooed obnoxiously, hands coming up to squeeze Taehyung's cheek, his fingers rubbing off the leftover residue of your lipgloss from his skin. He was drunk, breath smelling like vodka and his eyes glazed over, the classic dopey Jungkook smile on his face. Taehyung swatted his hands away from him with a grimace but Jungkook just slid beside him, slinging his arm across his shoulders and dragging him to the kitchen to get even more alcohol.
“So you fucked her right?” Taehyung accepted the drink, taking a sip as his eyes searched the room for you just like they had earlier.
“Sure,” he responded, not wanting to tell his friend that although you were both naked on top of each other and you had forced two orgasms out of him, he had not in fact been able to slide his dick inside of you.
Jungkook was too drunk to comprehend that sure didn’t exactly mean yes so he whooped, throwing his arms in the air with a laugh, and Taehyung couldn’t help but smile at his younger friend. 
“Have you seen her by the way?”
Jungkook thought back to when he spotted you leaving Hoseok’s room, you had a look of satisfaction on your face as you walked through the house and headed for the backyard. You emerged back out with one of your friends beside you and you both laughed as you made a swift exit out of Jungkook’s house entirely. It was pretty obvious you wouldn’t be coming back.
“She definitely left.”
Taehyung could feel his heart sink at that. He should’ve spoken to you when you were both alone in the room instead of lying there in his post orgasmic glow. Too late. 
He slid his phone out and decided he had to text you. The black line flickered on his phone, taunting him, waiting for him to type anything out, but he was stuck. What was he supposed to say? Thanks for the orgasms with a stupid emoji tacked at the end?
Taehyung 1:48am : You left so fast, get home safe
That’s what he settled on, and his eyes stayed glued on the phone when he saw the notification that you read it, three dots popping up as you typed a response back.
Y/N 1:52am : Sorry friend needed to get home and I was her ride.
Y/N 1:52am : Think about me tonight yeah? Goodnight busboy.
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Taehyung thought about you alright. He thought about you often, frequently replaying the events that had happened that night as his fist wrapped around his cock on those nights where he was beyond desperate to cum.
The both of you hadn’t spoken much since the night of Hoseok and Jungkook’s party, due to the fact that finals were approaching and as much as you enjoyed this game you had with him, you also knew you needed to pass the classes you had. Taehyung doesn’t fault you for that, he was on the same boat, and if you had continued to tease him on the bus or through text message while he was already on the verge of a mental breakdown, he wasn’t sure he could survive it.
So it came as no surprise that when the semester came and went, the communication was once again severed, no longer having the morning commute to share together as winter break started.
Taehyung still thought of you often, every time you uploaded something onto your social media he stared at it for a minute too long, fingers urging to send you a message and start a conversation; but considering everything that had transpired between you two had been purely sexual he wasn’t sure a ‘haha funny meme’ message was going to get him very far.
When the second week of break rolled around and Taehyung started to go out with his friends, you began to slip his mind, the small acceptance of whatever you two had going fizzling away from his thoughts. He wondered if you forgot about him already, maybe you were home visiting family and had your sights set on another person.
With that thought engraved in his mind he allowed himself to go out with Jimin and Namjoon on a Saturday night, the three of them being the few of his friends that lived in the city and weren’t going home to their family for the holidays. They stood by the bar of some club closer to Jimin’s apartment, deeper into the city, a place Jimin swore the hottest girls frequented and when Taehyung scoped the crowd he took notice that Jimin was right.
It only took two shots to loosen him up enough to ease onto the dance floor, and only a few more minutes until a pretty redhead spotted him and made her way over, her hands trailing up onto his shoulder as she moved her hips in time with his. He smirked down at her, her eyes gleaming up at him while her teeth sunk into her bottom lip, she’s definitely his usual type. The way she gripped onto him when he slid his thigh in between her legs, how she easily gave in to the way he kissed his way into her mouth, eager to let him have his way with her. It’s no shock that he found himself tucked away in a corner of the club, letting her hands roam his chest as she latched her lips onto his neck while he dipped his hands under the hem of her skirt to play with her covered slit. It’s messy and he’s the one leading the way, it's familiar for him, but he can’t stop the small craving inside of him for something else, something different.  
She whimpered into his mouth, not at all shy about being out in the open, and he can feel his cock throbbing at the thought of another girl that isn’t you for the first time—and you must have a sixth sense—there's no other explanation for him besides that when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.
The nameless redhead whined at the loss of contact when he pulled his hand back to grab his phone, but he shushed her with a kiss, telling her he needed a minute. And that's all the convincing she needed to continue sucking hickeys into his neck.
When his phone lit up and he saw your name on his lock screen he blanked, eyes roaming behind him when he looked back to check if maybe you were here and that's why you were texting him. But when he unlocked the phone and saw the message you sent, it was oh so obvious that you were definitely not at the club.
The revelation of the photo you had sent catches him so off guard, he almost drops his phone, the device slipping through his fingers until he reacts and slammed it against his chest so hard to not let it clatter to the ground. The action winded him, the sharp pain of his phone wacking his chest had him wincing and it got the girl's attention.
Leaning back as her curious eyes peeked up to stare at him, instead she found herself staring at his chest, her face oddly lit up. The realization settled within him now, noticing that he must have flipped the phone over when he caught it and she was now clearly looking at the photo of you naked. The jaw dropping nudes you had sent, showcasing your boobs with your fingers on your nipple, wet with your arousal; and the second photo of your pussy on display had taken his breath away, but all it got him was a glare and a shove to his chest from the red head, muttering out that he was a pig as she pushed her way back to her friends.
He gulped as he flipped the phone around and analyzed the photo, a deep groan leaving him, because god dammit he had just started to come to terms that whatever you had was old news. You were always keeping him on his toes, it was going to fuck with his heart and his health.
Taehyung turned around and squinted through the flashing lights to hopefully find his friends, spotting Namjoon with a drink in one hand, his other clutching onto a blonde as they danced together, and he made his way over to him. 
“I’m gonna head out,” he mumbled into Namjoon’s ear, ignoring the confused glance he gave him. The clear translation being: what the hell.
“We just got here.”
Taehyung knew this but he can’t hang around here with the thrumming bass and dance with other girls when you had just sent him these fucking photos. “Yeah, I don’t feel so hot. Don’t worry, I’m gonna take an uber just let Jimin know.”
Namjoon could only nod, not really wanting to separate himself from the cute girl he had grown fond of, but he would be forcing Taehyung to come out with them again next week. He just watched as his friend slipped through the crowd of the club until he stepped out. 
When the cold air hit him Taehyung gulped it down, hands pressing against his face as he sighed and walked towards the brickwall on the side of the club. He couldn’t do this anymore, and with the alcohol numbing his common sense he didn’t think twice as he pulled his phone back out and opened up your message again, rechecking that you had in fact sent him those photos. And when he saw that you had, obscene photos still filling up his screen, he clicked the phone button and gave you a call.
He swore you weren’t going to answer him as the ring droned out, but when it cut off and all he heard is silence, he held his breath, wide eyes focusing on the cars driving on the street in front of him.
“Hi.” 
Oh fuck.
“Why are you doing this to me?” He spoke out so softly, pleading into the phone as he grabbed a chunk of his hair in between his fingers.
“Would you rather I didn’t?” you hummed, phone pressed against your shoulder and ear as you lazily trailed a finger up and down your stomach.
“No!” he shouted, wincing when he saw other club goers give him an odd look. “No, but why me? We haven’t even spoken lately.”
“We’re speaking right now.”
He remained silent, not knowing how to respond to you, but he keeps the phone pressed against his ear, the soft sound of you breathing being the only noise he hears—until there's a small moan. It makes his blood run cold, eyes slipping shut as he imagined why you had made that noise.
“What are you doing?” He finds himself getting the courage to ask, enjoying the small laugh you let out as you admitted to touching yourself, so nonchalant and carefree about the fact that you were still the leading cause to his blue balls.
Taehyung was slightly tipsy, his mind whirling as he pictured your fingers sinking into your pussy like they had that night, the pretty sounds you had let out as your mouth was stuffed full of his cock and he groans. “Do you really enjoy making me suffer?”
“Oh, are you suffering?” you cooed into the receiver. “You know all you have to do is say it.”
He knew this, oh god did he know this and right now he’s way too lost in it all to even feel the embarrassment or unsureness he usually does when he’s around you, so he asks—no begs—to finally fuck you. “Please, please let me fuck you Y/N.”
Your own eyes shut as he said this, fingers coming back up to rest on your stomach while you sat up in your bed with a smile on your face, focusing on the object beside your bed. “Okay, I’ll let you, if you let me try something on you first.”
Taehyung doesn’t even care to ask what the hell you meant by that, his mind already set on fucking you, and when he agreed without a second thought you text him your address, your head whirling at whats to come.
Taehyung didn’t even realize when he got to your place, running on autopilot fueled by pure hormones as he got into the taxi and managed to somehow get to your apartment in one piece.
His fingers were shaking slightly as he punched in the code you had given him, the main door buzzing as it unlocked, and it's then that it hits him, he's actually here. He had actually voiced his want for you and now he was here, fuck.
You sat patiently on your living room couch, a soft oversized shirt on as you waited for him to make his way up. You had buzzed him in about a minute ago, so when you heard the soft thud of footsteps approaching in the hallway, you knew it was him.
The gentle knock against your door had you hopping up from your spot, slowly approaching it and pressing your eye against the peep hole to catch a glance at him. He stood a foot or so away, eyes squinting at his phone and back up at the number to make sure it was the right place, not wanting to embarrass himself in front of a neighbor. 
Once you pulled open the door, you could tell he was nervous, hair a little messy on top of his head and face looking slightly flushed, but he stood up straight and gave you a smile.
“Hi,” he utters out, walking into your place when you stepped aside and motioned for him to come in. He half expected your apartment to look like a sex dungeon, dark and dim, covered in leather with a sex swing in the corner, but its surprisingly normal.
The soft pastel pinks and oranges greeting him is definitely not what he imagined but he likes it, his eyes locking onto a watermelon plushie with button eyes tucked into the edge of your couch.
“Taehyung, do you want some water?” you offer, wanting to ease him into this, but he just shakes his head, turning back around to face you and it's then that he realized you’re only wearing a shirt.
“If you’re drunk we don’t have to do this right now.”
Taehyung heard you loud and clear, but he can’t look away from your chest, every time he blinks he could see the image of your tits thanks to the picture you had graciously provided him with. It’s killing him because he knew you were currently bare underneath the thin shirt you have on.
To be honest he wasn’t drunk, barely even tipsy, the small amount of liquor he consumed tonight was way less than his normal amount. He felt woozy enough around you on a normal day, but he knew he definitely wasn’t too drunk to do what he had come here to do.
“No, I’m good. I swear.”
The determination in his tone was very clear but you still waited for him to stop blatantly staring at the way your nipples poked through the fabric of your shirt, until finally his gaze locked with yours, following behind you as you led the way to your bedroom.
When he entered your room his eyes were drawn to your bed, fluffy and inviting, draped in a soft peach duvet with light pillows, but knowing the absolutely filthy things you most likely did on it killed the small sense of innocence he initially felt. Especially when he spots the hitachi wand resting pretty at the edge of the bed.
You were staring at his profile when he spotted it and you saw the way he swallowed, wide eyes bulging out as he analyzed the toy. Was this what you had been using when you answered his phone call? He wasn’t sure, he hadn’t heard anything in the background...maybe it was one of those fancy zero noise ones.
When he heard you giggle he snapped out of it, turning to face you with curious eyes. 
“Have you never seen one?” Taehyung remained silent as he thought, but it's pretty clear he hadn’t. There was never time for sex toys with one night stands in random houses, sure he had seen them in porn but real life felt different. He wished he had, he didn’t want to use this on you and fumble around and make a bigger fool of himself.
“I take it you’ve never used one then?” you ask again as you walk over to it, picking it up gently in your hands and approaching Taehyung thanks to the fact that it was wireless.
He could only shake his head, staring at it in your grasp as your fingers glided over the plastic handle, your thumb flicking it on and smiling when the low hum filled the room. It's on the lowest setting but that didn’t stop you from beginning to get excited.
“Would you let me try this on you Taehyung?”
He looked utterly confused by your question, not at all expecting to be on the receiving end of this. What did you mean by that?
“You mean like shove it up my ass?” He could see you trying not to laugh at him, biting your lip as you shook your head. 
“No, it's not a dildo Tae. Use it here.” You reached out until it was gently pressed against his crotch, the wand buzzing over his jeans. He let out a grunt at the feeling, head dropping down to stare at the white silicone head weakly vibrating on him, taking a moment to get over the initial shock. He chalked it up to being slightly under the influence, but he really wanted you to turn it up.
It was clear to see how mesmerized he was by the device so you flicked it up a level, relishing in the small gasp he let out as his jaw dropped. It was barely a flutter of pleasure, but something about it excited him, had him craving more so he looked up at you, glassy eyes and all. 
“You can do whatever you want to me.” He felt no shame when he told you that, groaning once more when you applied a hint of pressure against him.
The way your body reacted to his words was pure instinct, him admitting to letting you do as you please unhinged you. He saw it in the way you bit your lip, your eyes roaming his face until they dragged down his body, landing on his now half hard cock with the vibrating head of the wand still pressing against it.
“Fuck, please,” he begged, and when you retract the wand he almost takes it back. That is, until you were pulling him in, one hand tugging at his shirt until he's flushed against you, your lips meeting his in a frenzy, swallowing the moan he let out into the kiss. His hands stayed at his sides, not sure if he was allowed to touch you again considering you had told him not to last time, and you smirked when you realized it. Taehyung knew he would only be able to touch you if he deserved it, your words being engraved in his brain, and he was planning on earning that tonight.
“Good boy, you remembered.” you whispered out, lips brushing against his as you spoke. His eyes remained shut, the only indication that he heard being the small nod he gave you. Your hand inched up from the grasp you had in his shirt until you’re cupping his cheek gently.
“You see what happens when you’re good?” You kissed him again, pulling back once he started to press harder into you. “You get rewarded.” His breath shuddered against your face at the promise of being rewarded, and you smiled while reaching down to grab his hand and gently tugged him closer towards your bed, your right hand still holding the wand loosely by your side as he followed along.
“Do you want me–“ he paused to take a breath when you turned back around to face him. “Do you want me to strip?” His voice sounded so soft, unsure if asking you was the right thing to do, but him asking you this showed you that you’d managed to create another sliver in his outer shell. One step closer to cracking him.
You gave him another gentle kiss, nodding as you stepped back from him, eyes trained on his body while he began to tug at the black shirt he had tucked into his jeans, the material slowly sliding off his body and revealing his tan skin.
He didn’t feel uneasy at your staring this time around, being able to tell you’re clearly enjoying the view of him slowly undressing, your eyes focusing on his cock as it sprung out when he slid out of his briefs. Your hand clutched onto the wand a little tighter, fingers hovering over the power button with newfound enthusiasm, eager to make him squirm at the new sensation. And when he took  it upon himself to settle onto your bed without you having to ask, you withheld the urge to clap in excitement.
Taehyung waited with baited breath when you kneeled onto the bed, shuffling your way up his body and setting the toy by his side, his body flinching slightly when the cool plastic touched his skin as it rolled on the bed. Resting your weight on your left hand, settled by his shoulder while your right hand softly cupped his cheek as you inched closer. His eyes looked at your lips before looking back down to his own hands, an unspoken question hanging off his tongue.
“My hands?” Is all he managed to get out, the rest of the question dying when he made eye contact but you only raised your brows up, making him realize he needed to be more specific. “Do you want them grabbing the headboard again?”
Leaning forward to kiss him once more, you smirked, witnessing how such a simple question could embarrass him so much due to him being in a different position than he was used to. “Ideally I’d want them cuffed and behind your back.” He shut his eyes at your words, cock throbbing as he pictured himself the way you wanted him. “But not today. Just keep them on the bed. Can you do that?”
Taehyung felt your lips press against his again and he nodded. “Y-yeah, yeah I can.”
He could feel you hum against his skin, the hand that was cupping his cheek beginning to trail down his chest, passing his navel until you reached his dick, fingers wrapping around him and beginning to slide your palm up and down. “Good.”
He sighed into your mouth as your hands squeezed around the base of his cock, twisting as it came up in a slow motion, wanting to ease him into the pleasure of it so as to not scare him when you grab the wand again. It only took a few minutes until he’s kissing you more relaxed, body sagging into the bed as he grunt softly into your mouth whenever you focused on his swollen tip; and that's when you reached over to your bedside table, grabbing the bottle of lube you had with your lips still attached to him.
They separate with a light smack, and you rest back onto his thighs, taking a moment to take him in, the way he’s laid out on your bed, chest heaving slightly while his weeping dick sat against his stomach. He watched you intently as you uncapped the lube you have, dropping a generous amount into your palm and wrapping it around his cock again. Taehyung hissed at the cool sensation, stomach tensing when you began a fluid motion only set on spreading the liquid, but he still groaned because he knew what was next.
You tried not to let the overt excitement show on your face when you reached over and grabbed the wand once more, thumb flicking it on to the lowest setting and pressing it against his thigh first, observing the way he jumped slightly at the sensation. “I know you’ve never used this before,” you start, trailing the vibrating head up onto his stomach and back down to his other thigh, dipping down slightly towards the center but staying off his cock. “So, you need to tell me if you feel uncomfortable at any moment okay?”
His thighs are tensing up already, getting desperate to feel something, anything. “Like a safe word?”
“Sure,” you hummed, staring back at his face and seeing the distraught look on it. He wasn’t sure why the idea of a safe word sent his mind into a flurry, he had never used one and having to think of one that he’d remember seemed almost impossible at the moment. “Or we can make it easy. You know traffic lights?”
He nodded. “Great. If you say green everything's going good, yellow is if you start to feel uncomfortable or need me to slow down, red is if you need me to stop completely. You say these at any time.”
You’re continuing to tease him as you explained this and Taehyung rested his head back, not wanting to see you as you clearly avoided giving his dick any attention. 
“Okay, I got it. Green,” he groaned out, and you just chuckled, finally pressing the head of the vibrator against his cock. The low vibrations started at the base and his stomach tensed at the feeling, a tiny whine escaping him, hands having to resort to clutching your sheets again to stop himself from grabbing you and forcing you to switch it up a level.
The head of the vibrator bent slightly as you applied more pressure, thumb flicking it up two levels and enjoying the way he cursed, his head lifting back up to stare in awe as you slowly dragged it up an inch before coming back down, passing it right over his balls briefly. 
“Oh shit,” he keened, teeth sinking into his bottom lip, not being able to thrust up into it because you were still resting on his thighs.
“Aren’t you glad you told me yes?” you asked teasingly, sliding it up until it was nuzzled right against his frenulum before kicking it up another two levels. His reaction had you dripping against his thighs, arm muscles taut from how hard he’s grabbing the duvet, stomach caving in as he moaned out unabashedly. 
“Fuck,” he gasped, “yes, I am.” Taehyung had no idea something like this could feel so good, he was so accustomed to hearing women talking about vibrators and he thought it was a load of shit. Clearly he had been very, very wrong. 
Even though you’re focusing it on the underside of his tip, slowly raising the levels up until he’s squirming, he felt like his whole lower body was vibrating. The telltale signs of his orgasm creep up on him, the feeling only increasing when your fingers wrap around his shaft and you hold the vibrator against his swollen tip. The fluttering feeling of pressure building up becoming more consistent, his breath leaving him in huffs as he tried to force it away.
You can tell by the way his body started to tense up, your finger turning it up another level to push him further. “Are you gonna cum already? I thought you wanted to fuck me?”
He whined loudly, desperately trying to sink his hips into the bed to ease the pressure but your hands followed his movements, his head whipping to the side as he scrunched his face up. “Fuck, I do–I do want to fuck you, god–“ he gasped out when you started to circle the head of the toy around his tip, the rolling pleasure becoming too much. “Unghh, please let me f-fuck you.”
His stomach began to shudder more aggressively, hips wiggling around and you smirked down at him, his face finally turning back up to stare at the ceiling, his brows pulled together tightly with unshed tears prickling his waterline. “Hold it Taehyung.”
He nearly sobbed at your demand, taking in a deep breath as he shut his eyes once more, forcing himself to try to tune out his nearing release. His heart feels tight in his chest, blood thrumming so loud in his head, eyes burning as the tears finally spill over. But it’s too late, the tingling feeling had started to spread throughout his body and he knew he was a few seconds away from blowing his load.
Taehyung let out a pained moan. “Fuck I can’t, y-yellow, yellow!” You let go of his cock, the vibrator lowering in intensity before easing off and going back to trail on his stomach and thighs as his close release faded away, letting him whimper as he tried to catch his breath. “I’m sorry.”
After a moment you switched the toy off entirely and set it aside on the bed, soft hands running along his skin to help calm him down, reaching up to gently wipe away his fallen tears. “Don’t be sorry, you did good.”
He sighed in relief, glad that he hadn’t ruined it by not being able to hold off his orgasm, he tried the best he could but the only way he wanted to cum was after he sank into you.
You gave him another minute to come down, easing off of his thighs to tug your shirt off of your body, the material landing in a heap on the floor and that grabbed Taehyung's attention. He looked at your body with desire, wanting to reach out and grab you, kneading your flesh as he cupped your tits and ass, but he's done so well so far so he holds himself back. The only daring touch he allowed is his thumbs gently rubbing against your knees as they rest on either side of his thighs.
You let the touch slide as you bent forward and kissed him, reaching over to the bedside drawer and pulling out a condom. Leaning back from him, you tear it open with your teeth and slowly ease it onto his throbbing cock, hearing him groan when your hands add a bit of pressure at his base once it's fully rolled on.
“You okay?” you ask softly. He looked dazed out, no longer tipsy from his earlier adventure but his mind was working on overdrive, the abundance of fantasies he’s had of you are coming to fruition. He was finally going to know what it felt like to actually fuck you, and he was scared his excitement would make him cum a minute in, especially after he had forced his last orgasm away.
“Yeah, just–“ he swallowed harshly, letting his head fall back into the plush pillows. “Give me a minute please.” You smirked at the slightly pained expression on his face, but you hummed anyways, letting his dick lay back above his stomach as you leaned forward and opted for kissing him softly, fingers slowly trailing through his hair to help calm him down.
Taehyung shivered as your nails gently scraped down until you reached his neck, his hips beginning to rut up against you, clearly being ready to continue.
“Please,” he starts again, groaning as you tugged his lower lip between your teeth, letting it snap back gently. “Let me fuck you. I’ve been good right?” He still felt his face flush at his own words but a strange sense of pleasure also coursed through him when you nodded in response.
Your hand reached down between your bodies, grabbing his cock to tease around your entrance. “Yes Tae, you’ve been very good.” He held his breath as you started to ease down onto him, the both of you groaning at the pleasant stretch of your walls, his jaw dropping while he kept his eyes glued at the sight of his thick cock parting your lips.
“Holy shit,” he gasped out when you fully sank onto him, giving him a moment as you rested your hands on his chest, biting your lip at how full you felt.
Kim Taehyung’s dick lived up to its name, long and girthy with the prettiest veins running along the underside of it, the slightest curve of it allowing it to gently nudge along the sweet patch inside of you. It filled you up perfectly, leaving you stunned above him as you adjusted to his size. 
When his breathing evened out, you peeked a glance at him, his forehead slightly damp from the earlier teasing. He looked so utterly fucked out and desperate and it urged you on; you were determined to crack him, show him how great this could be, and so far he seemed more than willing to let go of control.
As you start a slow rhythm, you wished you could bind his wrists behind his back, strapped into a chair, wrapped up in the pretty red rope you used to use on Jungkook, or even drape your favorite blindfold over his eyes like you used to with Hwasa;  but you didn’t want to push him further, you were letting him dip his toe into this.
Taehyung was so used to being in control, so used to being the one in charge of giving for himself, and when he had heard the way you spoke to him: praising him for behaving, all giggly and soft after you had made his mind blank from an orgasm, he wasn’t sure he wanted to go back to his normal.
His thumb was still grazing your knees, every time he flicked them upward on your skin he could feel your muscles tense as you lift yourself off of him and snap back down, the sound of your skin slapping together filling up the room. They mixed in with your soft moans, nearly concealing how affected you were by this, hiding the small cries of pleasure felt from the tip of his cock nudging the sweetest spots deep within you. 
Taehyung could feel his blood buzzing in his ear, the feeling of being buried inside of you going beyond what he ever thought, his heart continuing to pound when he felt you tighten around his length.
“Is this worth you leaving whoever you were with earlier tonight?”
Your words caught him off guard for a moment, having to clear the heady feeling in his brain, and he took a moment to wonder how you knew he was with someone, but then your fingers came to prod at the hickeys littering his neck.
Half moons marked his skin as your nails came down to his chest, lightly digging into his skin and he hissed, hips thrusting up slightly. “Shit, I–“ he whined when you began to grind against him, slow rocks of your hips letting him feel the glide of your walls against his cock. “Yes, so worth it.”
You let yourself lean more against his chest, tits pressed along his skin as you brought your face closer. “Do you think she would’ve been able to make you feel this good?”
He doesn’t even have to think about it, immediately shaking his head. “No—fuck, just you.”
You pressed a kiss directly underneath one of the hickeys, leaning back again and cupping your breasts, fingers pinching and rolling your nipples as you resumed bouncing on top of him. Sinful slaps of your skin connecting fill up the room like it belonged there, arousal gushing out of you when he whimpers at the visual of you riding him. 
The whiny pleas he let out proved he’s edging close to his release again, making a heat pool in your gut, and he shocks you when he requests for you to place your hands around his throat. He had always been interested in choking, albeit he always imagined he’d be the one with his hands wrapped around someone but this felt right, your thumb and middle finger pressing into his carotid artery had all the stars aligning in his eyes.
Your eyes widened at his reaction, not expecting him to be bold enough to ask for this considering it took him this long to tell you he wanted to fuck you, but you’d take it. You’d take his half lidded gaze as you applied pressure on his neck, his stomach caving in slightly everytime you slid back down on his length, your walls squeezing him deliciously as he neared his end; you’d take all of it. .
He could feel his mind going hazy, drifting up as every nerve in him tingled, hyper fixated on the repeated raunchy, wet sound of you riding him. Taking note of his floaty appearance, you sped up your pace, tightening up around him as you leaned forward and kissed his cheek softly. “You feel so good Taehyung, cum for me.”
He shivered slightly at your words, your hands squeezing a little tighter against his neck, and suddenly he's cumming. His body was set alight as the feeling caught him by surprise, eyes bulging out and a choked gasp leaving his mouth when you released his throat.
He let out a loud moan of your name, rutting his hips up into you as his dick twitched and filled up the condom, spine sparking with pleasure as you continued to rut against him. “Oh fuck,” he cried out, his hand coming up to tangle into his hair while the small after shocks of his orgasm hit him.
When you reached over to grab the forgotten hitachi wand, his mind blanks, seeing you continuing to grind against his still hard dick as you pressed the head of the wand against your clit had him at a loss.
Fuck you’re hot.
When you smiled down at him, your mouth dropping open slightly when you found the sweet spot, he realized he uttered that out loud. Another groan of his spilled out again when he felt the vibrations against his own cock from how high you had the settings.
You give up on fucking him, letting his cock stay nuzzled deep inside of you as you pressed one hand against his ribs while you hunched over and moaned. The intensity of the vibrator had your whole body trembling, buzzing directly against your swollen clit with precision, making your velvety walls pulse around his sensitive cock. 
The feeling of your orgasm came on strongly, your hand pressing the toy harder against you, and Taehyung felt like he could cum again as you tightened your walls around him, the sensation making him softly rut up into you.
“Oh god, fuck Taehyung,” you gasped out, throwing your head back as your orgasm finally hit you. All Taehyung could do was stare at you in a daze as you came undone, small whimpers leaving your lips as your hips twitched, chasing the pleasure until you were sighing and shutting off the toy, body still trembling from the aftershocks. 
When you tossed it aside you stayed sat on him, breath heaving as you hunched over him slightly. His hands that were on your knees fully came up onto your thighs to gently massage them, wanting to comfort you, the mutual understanding that he was allowed to touch you after sex being passed between you. 
After a minute, you slowly eases yourself off of his soft length, pulling off the condom and tossing it into the bin beside the bed.
Taehyung was entirely spent. Tonight had felt like the longest night of his life, and his eyes were drifting shut when he felt you straddle him again, your arms resting on his chest as you stared up at his sleepy form.
His eye cracked open and he grinned at you when he saw the look on your face; it was the sweet smile you wore when you were up to no good. The fingers on your left hand gently spelled your name on his skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake, your chin rested on top of your arm and you laughed when you saw his eyebrow raise up in question.
“What?” he asked. You were clearly out of the mood that made you want to bind and tease Taehyung until he was crying, wanting to reassure him and make sure he was comfortable after doing things you knew he wasn’t used to with your soft touches.
You hummed softly as you stared into his eyes. “Kim Taehyung is into choking huh?”
His face flushes immediately as he replays his request in his mind, and you pat his chest to get him to stare at you, a small frown on your face at his clear embarrassment. “Hey, it wasn’t a tease. It’s hot.”
Taehyung raised both brows now, staring at you like you had said something absolutely foreign to him. Tonight was a night of firsts and realizations, who knew Taehyung loved the feeling of a vibrator on his cock, and who knew he had a kink for your hands around his throat. “Really?”
“Oh yeah,” you mused, lifting up slightly to inch closer to his face. “Seeing you squirming while I choked you was the hottest thing.”
He could only stare at you, the gears in his head turning as he thought of what just happened. He never imagined he’d be into giving someone control like that. Taehyung knew it was minuscule, but this was all new to him and he loved it already, his brain wondering how much further you could take it.
“You know, I’m kinda into it.” He looked away from you as he said this, still not confident in admitting it and he knew it was silly, especially when he could see how much hearing these words lit your face up.
Your eyes shut when he admitted to this; it always felt like finding gold when you got a man to confess to enjoying this. So many men were always afraid to admit to liking how it felt when a girl took control over them, no matter how subtle, and Taehyung was someone you thought would be a little harder to break down.
“Are you?”
He hummed, his hands finally coming up higher to touch you and his warm grip caught you off guard. But he takes his time as he trails his fingers up and down your sides, gliding across your back, sliding them into your hair and tugging you closer until he’s kissing you, the first time he’s ever taken control of any situation.
He relished in the small gasp you let out as he licked the seam of your lips, his tongue slipping in and massaging against yours slowly for a brief moment until he’s pulling back. Taehyung realized that this is the longest conversation you two have had in person, and the first one where he didn’t feel like a babbling idiot.
“Is there more we can try next time?” he wondered softly, nudging your noses together and kissing you again briefly.
Your mind was already picturing how he’d look tied up, cock swollen and dripping with a cockring sat snuggly around his base, maybe a thick collar around his neck. You could ease him into trying out some of the floggers you have, or tempt him into wax play, maybe ice cubes if he was wary of the wax. So many ideas that had you squirming on top of him with anticipation, and when he saw that look on your face he found himself smiling with you.
“Oh, there's so much Taehyung. You just have to tell me what you’re comfortable with.” Your fingers are raking through his own hair now as he leaned into the touch. “Can you do that?”
When your fingers tugged the strands, he sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”
Pressing your lips against his again, he feels you smirk against his skin, the small sharpness of your teeth sinking into his lip making him groan. “Good boy.”
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sukunasfourtheye · 3 years
Text
Late Night Texts- Eren x reader
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Minors DNI, 18+ Adult Content 🔞
Masterlist
Summary: It’s midnight, you’re kinda tipsy, and you text your friend Eren.
Warnings: Smut smut smut, minors DNI. This is pure pure fucking filth. Yoinks.
Contains: swearing, sexting/texting, sexting turned to FaceTime sex/phone sex, dirty talk, ‘good girl” used multiple times, masturbation
Words: 1.2k
Note from the author: I personally have such a thing for phone sex/sexting so much so this is a personal fav gahhhhhh. I debated this being a Levi or Eren fic but feel like Levi would literally just get up and go to your house and wouldn’t have the patience for sexting LOL so Eren it was
———————*~*~*~*~—————-*~*~*~*~*~————
>>> heeeeeeey haha whats upp
Eren raised an eyebrow as he glanced down at your text. Hmm, he thought. Kinda late. He squinted at the clock on his night stand that read 12:31am.
> Sup 
Probably just bored, he thought. He hit send, and not even 15 seconds later his phone *dings* again.
>>> nothing hahaha kinda tipsy but oh well
He hated to admit it, but he felt a small flutter in his chest reading your reply. You’d been friends for a while, but he never picked up on any flirty vibes from you, but drunk texting at midnight? Hmm...
> Fun. Did you go out?
>>> yeah clubbing with sashaaaa haha so fun:) you shoulda caaaaaame
Ok, this is definitely flirty, he thought. The thought of you in a tight dress, all dolled up, swaying on a dancefloor....phew.
> Damn, yeah I should’ve come. Would’ve been fun seeing you.
He hesitates, thinking he’s definitely breaching into flirty territory with this one. He thinks, fuck it before he presses send.
His phone *dings* and he sees the text preview on his home screen:
>>> [y/n] sent you a snap!
>>> now you see me :)
His excitement started to grow as he saw the Snapchat and text double notification on his screen. Despite himself, he felt his cock twitch in his boxers, and he reflexively reached his hand down to start to rub himself lazily.
He opens the Snapchat notification.
It’s a video of you laying in bed, your phone held up at arms length, smiling with your tongue sticking out playfully. You were wearing a strapless v-neck leather top and tight black pants, your face alight with glittery makeup and a clear drunken stupor. Your smile was radiant.
Fuck, she’s hot, he thought. His hand had a mind of it’s own and started to rub himself through his pants, with a bit more purpose now. He groaned, shifting his hips up at his own contact. He replayed the video, stroking himself.
>>> replayed my video? ;)  
Whoops. He forgot you get notified if he replays your video. He goes to at first make an excuse (”whoops my bad”) but instead decides against it. Fuck it shes drunk maybe she’ll forget it, he thought. He hesitates, but presses send:
> Yeah, damn you look good
Why did i just send that. The tension of seeing you typing back made him even hornier, letting out another groan as his dick began hardening under his boxers.
>>> reaaaally? :) youre not too bad yourself ;)
 Oh yes. It’s showtime. 
> So that’s why you’re texting me so late. Just wanted a little attention?
> Yeah, you’re low key hot as fuck
There’s a long pause as he’s waiting for you to reply, terrified he fucked it up and went too far.
Then....you sent a voice note. He hit play:
>>> “Mmmmm... I wish you were here right now.”
Your voice is almost a moan, going straight to his dick. Fuck, she wants it. That’s so hot. His hands go inside his boxers and frees his now fully hard cock, giving it a few pumps as he does. Before he can even respond, another *ding* makes his cock twitch.
>>> Attached: Image
It’s a picture of you leaning forward towards the camera, giving a clear shot down your cleavage as you looked up at him, a mischievous smile on your lips, biting your tongue
> Pretty girl. Tease.
>>> im not teaaaasing i actually want to fuck you :p
The blunt text you sent made him gasp, his dick hot in his hands as he worked himself. 
> You’ve got a filthy fucking mouth
>>> you can make it filthier if you want ;)
Fuck. His throws his head back jerks himself faster, before stopping to squeeze the base of his cock. Fuck I want her to suck me so bad. Before he even registers what he’s doing, he hits the “Facetime” button to call you.
>>> [y/n] is unavailable for FaceTime
He groans in frustration. Fuck, i wanna see her.... she really is a fucking tease.
>>> we cant facetime right now im doing naughty thingssssss 
>>> this convo is making me crazzyyyy shhh
> Good. That’s a good girl.
>>> *Incoming Facetime call from [y/n]*
Too easy, he thinks. He chuckles as he swipes open the call. The camera is angled at the ceiling, the room dimmed. 
He chuckles into the phone. “All I had to say was ‘good girl’ and suddenly you calling me now, huh?”, he says, cocky as all hell. 
“Hmmm....”, he hears you say, drawing out the ‘mmm’ suspiciously. 
“Hmmmmm?” he questions back, mimicking you. “What’re you doing right now, [y/n]?”
“M’, Ummmmm, nothing....” he hears you say faintly, innocently, phone still pointed at the ceiling. He thought he was imagining it at first, but he can barely hear the sound of fabric shuffling and shifting on your end. 
“Nothing? Doesn’t sound like nothing, pretty girl”, he teases, stoking his now leaking cock. He sighed heavily on purpose, suggestively, making sure you heard him.
“What’re you doing right now?” you asked lightly, breathlessly.
He feels himself starting to slowly lose his restraint when he hears your breathy voice. “If I tell you, will you tell me?”, he grumbled, panting obviously now, loudly and into the phone, clearly out of breath from the effort of jerking himself off, hard
He hears you sigh, the sound of shuffling fabric getting louder. He hears you shift in bed. “Yes”, you say.
Through obvious gasps, he grills you: “You promise you gonna tell me what you’re doing, hmm, baby? You gonna tell me what you’re doing after you made me so fucking hard for you?”
He hears you moan loudly now, obviously meant for him to hear, panting.
“I’m stroking my fucking dick right now, that’s what I’m doing. I’m thinking about bending you over and fucking you stupid” he moans in unison with you, hearing himself admit it making him feel even dirtier
“Are you touching yourself, [y/n]? Your pussy wet for me? Hmm?” He hears your high-pitched moan and your body shift quickly in your bed.
“Use your words, I wanna hear that pretty little mouth say my fucking name”, he commands, heat flushing his face. 
“Ung! - Eren...ugh....” you finally mewl, sounding just as desperate as he was to cum
“Fuck i wanna stuff my cock in your mouth so fucking bad, [y/n]” he moans, babbling off strings of dirty talk, barely able to catch his breath as he gets closer and closer. “You’re a naughty little girl aren’t you? Were you touching your pussy while you were texting me? Hmmm? Dirty girl. You wanted me to make you cum, yeah?  You thinking about my dick fucking into that messy little pussy? I wanna hear you say it you needy little---ahhh! fuck. speak to me.” 
You finally break your silence: “Ugh, Eren, ah!-- you’re gonna make me--fuck, you’re gonna make me--!”
Fuck
He lets out a string of swear words, cursing through both your orgasm and his: “ah, fuck thats such a good fucking girl yes, cum for me baby, cum on daddys cock, cum on this fucking cock babe, uuung...!”
As you both catch your breath from the thrill that just ran through both your bodies, he pants “That....was hot”. 
“Yeah”, he hears you say, the camera finally moving away from the ceiling and onto you. You looked dazed, a thin sheen of sweat smudging your makeup. Still, a satisfied smiled was painted on your pretty face. “You’re so hot. Wow. I haven’t cum that hard in a long time. Next time you’ll have to come over?”
“See you then, princess”
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docholligay · 2 years
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You're going to call me a baby, but how do you keep yourself accountable without feeling like you're worthless all the time? When I think of my flaws, all I do is fixate on them until I hate myself. It made me feel better to think about how my upbringing and stuff made me act in these ways, for a long time. But I'm starting to feel like it's just an excuse. But I don't want to spend all my time hating myself! What do, Doctor?
I’m not gonna call you a baby, firstly because you already did it yourself so I don’t have to, and secondly--you’re not hiding out under anything. You are, at this moment, not trying to squirm out of anything. You’re having a problem but taking the bull by the horns. That’s not weakness, and that’s not being a baby. Having trouble’s not a fireable offense.
Anyway, I know I give the impression sometimes that I think I’m great all the time, because I absolutely am, but in truth, I do also sometimes manage to draw up long lists of things I hate about myself, things I struggle to change. Sometimes I get so angry with myself, because I’ll say or do something patently stupid or hurtful or annoying. I sometimes worry that the people I care about will hate me because they’re tired of my argumentative nature, my messiness, my stubbornness.
But like, item one, it takes a lot of different flowers to make a garden interesting. I love roses, but I’ve been to the Portland Rose Garden and let me tell you: It is boring as shit. So I’m annoyingly argumentative, and maybe you’re a fucking doormat, but we makethe world a more richly textured place. I remind myself of that. The ways in which I am annoying and twitchy and weird are part of what make me, even if they could Use Improvement. A peony bush may need to be pruned pretty badly, but that doesn’t make it a bad bush until it is. Right?
So what I do, first off, is when I’m feeling rough about myself, I have to counter that genuine flaw, I don’t deny it or try to justify it, but I answer it, with a thing about me that I think is genuinely good or neat.
I’m painfully argumentative, sometimes for no fucking reason! Sometimes even when I KNOW I’m wrong as soon as it comes out of my mouth! But also, I am impulsively generous and thoughtful. I love to send little gifts and notes, I love to tell people why I think they’re so interesting and smart, I make things I know people love for no reason but I think it will make them happy.
I am absolutely ass-stubborn, even when I need to be folding the cards, cause I’ve lost. But also, I am deeply loyal! Once I have decided you fit in the friend zone, I’ll back you play and do whatever I can for you.
I am SO messy and disorganized, jesus fuck if I could wave a wand and fix that, I would. But also! I am very creative, and thinking of new ideas all the time, and an empty desktop just isn’t going to be a part of that.
I think forcing yourself to say, “Yes, and,” when it comes to yourself helps. I think it’s good. That doesn’t mean you give up on trying to improve yourself: Every year, I try to be more patient, slower to respond, quicker to let shit go. I have never reached the metric I like. But I try.
Remember King David fucked up so bad he literally sent a man to slaughter to fuck his wife, and he’s one of the great heroes of Judaism. You can’t be the worst thing you ever did. That’s not how it works. You can be better, day by day, in tiny small ways that are meaningful to you. If I feel bad about something, it’s worth looking at, but remember that you can look at yourself and say, “I don’t want to do that anymore” without having to fucking pronounce sentence on old you. We’re all works in progress.
You can be and do better, and honestly? Sitting around hating yourself is a useless action. It fixes nothing. It doesn’t improve you or the world. In a sense, it’s self-centeredness of the highest order. I get frustrated with myself, all the time. CONSTANTLY. But I am more than my worst habits. When you restore a house, you don’t look at the fact that the floor is scratched to high heaven and low hell, or that banister is falling out of the wall. Those are things that need fixing, but they aren’t what you see. You never fix something because you hate it. You see wide plank oak floors and originally stained glass. You see the beauty, and that makes the fixing worth it. You’re no different.
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angelicyoongie · 3 years
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everything i brew, i brew it for you
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⤷ 1.2k follower event request: Familiar!Seokjin x Witch!Reader + “I should’ve told you back then, but I didn’t want you to leave.” + Fluff/Angst ⤷ @softescapism​ said: seokjin x reader or OT7 x reader + prompt C8 + witch/familiar, fluff, sfw (hi! could you write a drabble/scenario/short fic for the follower event based on this, please? 💓) ⤷ word count: 2.1k ⤷ a/n: this is a little angsty in the beginning, but the ending is all fluff! i hope you like it!!
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“There you are!” You grumble, snatching up a vial from the back of your cabinet. The little thing is covered with dust, the label yellowed with age and barely clinging on to the glass. But even then, there’s no mistaking the content. The shimmering pink powder inside makes you stomach flip uneasily, but you know it has to be done. You uncap the bottle before you can talk yourself out of it, carefully sprinkling the powder counter-clockwise into the boiling concoction in your pot. You can’t help but frown as it slowly turns from clear to bright pink, the stark colour mocking you as you throw in a pair of four leaf clovers with a little more force than necessary. The kitchen is quiet aside from the bubbling brew and the rhythmic tapping of your impatient fingers against the counter, your eyes resting nervously on the dark garden outside your window. You promised Seokjin years ago that you would never make this particular potion again, but you’ve run out of options.
You love being a potions witch, but truth be told, it’s probably the worst financial decision you could have made. All witches have to choose their niche the day they turn eighteen, and you, driven by the long list of potions witches in your ancestry, wanted to follow in their footsteps. What you didn’t account for however, is just how drastically the times have changed. Larger covens have started selling their potions online, making them in big batches to cut down on the cost and shipping them all across the country. There’s no longer a need for a town to have their own potions witch, not when you can get them delivered to your doorstep for a cheaper price. The mass produced potions are definitely not as potent as a singularly brewed ones, but it seems people care more about price than efficiency these days. Well, at least most people don’t care. And considering business has been dwindling so alarmingly fast over the last four months that you’re barely scraping by, there’s not a chance that you can lower your prices anymore than you already have.
You shake your head, trying your best to ignore the tendrils of guilt wrapping around your chest. As long as your familiar doesn’t find out about this order, there will be nothing for him to worry about. That's why you’re hunkered over the stove in the first place; desperately hoping that it will be done in time before he comes home. Tonight is Seokjin’s monthly familiar night with Hoseok and Namjoon, and the only window of alone time you have to make something like this. You murmur a quick incantation under your breath as you give the potion one last stir, watching as the pink brew slowly darkens to red. The sickly sweet smell that whiffs up from the cauldron almost makes you gag, but at least it tells you that the potion is almost complete.
You take a step back, throwing another glance towards the window as you count down the seconds in your head. Five minutes. That’s all you need. It’ll be finished, and you can finally hand over the love potion to your customer tomorrow. Despite your reservations and Seokjin’s hatred for that particular brew, it’s actually not that bad. It can’t force someone to fall in love, but it does make them more .. loose-lipped around their crush if they happen to have one. If anything, it’s honestly more of a rebranded truth serum. It does make you want to confess your feelings, and that’s also where the dubious morality of the potion comes in. Even if the person is already in love with someone, it still forces the recipient to act on emotions that they might not be ready to, or even want to share with their crush. You’ve turned down requests for this potion numerous times in the past, but this time, you truly can’t afford to. Seokjin might be older, but he’s still your familiar. Your responsibility. It’s not his fault that he decided to create a bond with you – a witch who can hardly sell enough potions to keep food on the table. You have honestly no idea how you managed to end up with a familiar like him, one that’s so utterly selfless and helpful. Seokjin’s guidance and assistance feels a little wasted on you, and you can’t help but think that your familiar should’ve ended up with a different witch. One that would actually be able to repay him properly for everything he does. You let out a deep sigh. You’ll just have to do better. Maybe you can try to set up one of those witchgram accounts Taehyung is doing so well on, after all, the ritual witch’s sales has been increasing.
The brew suddenly releases a puff of red smoke, signaling its completion. You hastily grab an empty bottle, scooping up as much as possible as you fill the vial to the brim. ”Shit, not yet,” You can suddenly feel the familiar itch behind your right ear, a telltale sign that Seokjin will be home soon. You scramble to turn off the oven as you hear your familiar open the back door, just about managing to shove in a cork at the top of the bottle and hide it behind your back as Seokjin steps into the kitchen.
”Hey! How was your night out?” You lean awkwardly against the counter, bottle digging into your back as you press it flush against your body.
”It was good,” Your heart flutters as Seokjin comes closer, the handsome features never failing to make your heart skip a treacherous beat. ”How was your night?” Your familiar raises an eyebrow as he takes in your awkward posture, the lingering scent of magic in the air betraying what you’ve been up to while he was gone.
”Boring! You know, just very normal and .. boring,” You wince. You breath hitches as Seokjin stalks closer, the frown tugging on his lips causing another wave of guilt to crash through you. You brain shuts down as he cages you in against the counter, and you swear you only blink before you find yourself staring at a red vial in front of your face, your hand grasping around air.
”I see,” Seokjin huffs, ”It’s so very boring and normal to brew a potion we agreed we wouldn’t sell.” As Seokjin stares down at the bottle with disdain before he places it on the counter, you can’t help but shrink against the wood, wracking your brain to figure out a good excuse. You can’t explain why you did it without exposing Seokjin to yourfinancial issues, and you have no plans of doing it – but, then you catch your familiar’s gaze, his kind eyes filled with saddened disappointment as he says, ”Y/n, why would you do this behind my back?”
The reason bubbles up your throat before you can stop it, the words bitter on your tongue as you blurt out a panicked, ”I had to! Business isn’t going well and we need the money, I couldn’t turn the customer away.” You register the flash of shock in Seokjin’s eyes, the purple tint around his brown irises brightening before he gets it under control. Your familiar runs a hand through his hair, leaving the dark locks messy and disheveled as he let out a deep sigh.
”For how long has this been going on?” You slump against the counter, adverting your eyes down to the floor as you mumble, ”Four months. I should’ve told you back then, but I didn’t want you to leave. I thought I could fix it before it became too much of a problem .. I just didn’t want to make you regret choosing me.”
Seokjin’s eyes soften, an exasperated huff of air leaving his lips as he places his fingers under your chin, tilting your head back up. ”Y/n, I would never regret choosing you as my witch,” Your familiar keeps his gaze locked with yours, his eyes urging you to understand the sincerity behind his words. "I just wish you had told me, we could have worked this out together much earlier.”
”I didn’t want you to worry,” You frown. "You already do so much by making deliveries and gathering ingredients, and I didn’t want to burden you more." You feel your breath hitch as Seokjin’s hand moves from your chin to cup your cheek, his touch gentle as he runs his thumb across your skin.
“That’s what I’m supposed to do as your familiar, Y/n. I’m here to help you and guide you, but I can’t do that if you don’t tell me when something’s wrong.” You know that, you really do, but it’s still hard to accept sometimes – the fact that you can’t solve everything on your own.
“I’m sorry,” You pout.
”I know,” Seokjin nods, a faint smile on his lips as he moves his hands to your back, pulling you into a hug. ”Just talk to me next time, yeah?”
”I will, I promise,” Your voice is muffled by the thick material of his sweater, but you know your familiar hears you as his arms tighten around your waist in response.
”Good,” Seokjin’s voice is fond as his fingers draw small patterns against your back. You feel yourself relaxing into Seokjin’s hold, your body melting against his as he rests his head on top of yours. ”How are we going to fix it though? I’ve tried almost everything I can think of. There’s nothing that beats low prices and convenience,” You sigh.
”Of course there is,” You pull back at the affronted tone in Seokjin’s voice, your familiar looking down at you like you personally offended him. Seokjin releases you from his hold, his hands flying up to cup his face as he says, ”I can beat that. This–” He points wildly at his face, ”–is sure to bring business in again. No one can resist the opportunity to glance upon this handsome face.” You snort at the expectant expression on his face, rolling your eyes so hard it feels like they’re close to popping out. As much as you like teasing Seokjin for his confidence, he’s not wrong. There’s no one in this town that can come close to Seokjin’s handsomeness, and well, everyone knows it. That’s the biggest reason you have Seokjin running errands and making deliveries, because it means he won’t have to deal with being ogled by all the customers that stop by. For all the banter and smiles he would flash at your customers, you could tell it made your familiar uncomfortable. You could see the way he gently tried to pull away when touches lingered a little too long on his arms, his ears stained a permanent red the days he worked out in the shop.
”Making money isn’t worth it if means you’ll have to do something that makes you uncomfortable,” You shake your head, ignoring the flutter in your chest as you grasp Seokjin’s hands, pulling them away from his face.
”I’ll be fine,” Seokjin says. It’s your familiar’s turn to roll his eyes as he sees the doubtful look on your face. ”I mean it. Please trust me just this once? I’ll let you know the moment it gets too much.”
You hesitate, using the extra seconds to search his face for any uncertainty. ”Fine,” You grumble. You owe it to your familiar to at least extend the trust he has given you back to him.
”Don’t look so sad Y/n, you know you’re the only witch that gets unlimited access to my handsome face,” Seokjin grins.
”Shut up,” You groan, pushing lightly at his chest. You can feel the heat creeping up your neck as Seokjin looks down at you, and you find yourself thankful that familiars don’t have enhanced hearing, otherwise your heart would’ve surely given you away years ago. Something flickers in Seokjin’s eyes, and your familiar’s grin turns heart wrenchingly soft as he ducks his head down.
”I do mean it Y/n, you really are the only witch for me.” You freeze as Seokjin leans in, your blood rushing in your ears as you feel your familiar’s plush lips press against the corner of your mouth. As your brain finally catches up to what just happened, Seokjin has already pulled back. The spot he kissed is burning against your skin, and you barely manage to make sense of Seokjin’s warm gaze lingering on your lips before his eyes flicker behind your back, eyebrow quirking as he says, ”Now, what should we do about that potion?”  
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Click here for the 1.2 follower event masterlist! Please leave a comment/reblog/like if you enjoyed :) If you enjoy my stories, you can support me here! 💖
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gashinabts · 3 years
Text
philophobia|(m)
Words: 7.4k
Pairing: Taehyung x Reader
Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mature
Summary: Taehyung, a man, who swears he’ll never fall in love meets Y/N a hopeless romantic.
Warnings: Teasing, spitting, oral (f/receiving), fingering, pussy slapping, pussy sniffing ( lmao idk if thats a thing?), squirting, sexual intercourse, mention of homophobia. Topics of child neglecting, if this makes you uncomfortable pls don’t read :) minor character death
A/N: Taehyung is a bisexual king! Tell me what you peeps think, remember that comments motivate me to continue writing!!! This is my work, no reposting this and my other works on any other platforms.
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Kim Taehyung was born December 30, 1995 his father left him when he was 11 years old that is when Taehyung realized that love never lasts. His mother pretended that his father never existed, she quickly hid the family photos away, along with covering his tomato garden with dirt. Taehyung wanted to ask where he went but stopped wondering when he heard a few of his classmates whispering that Taehyung’s dad left them for a young woman in her twenties. 
As Taehyung grew into his teenage years he would often get asked out by his classmates, he wouldn’t decline, accepting the dates to see if he can ever fall foolishly in love like his Mom once did. However, nothing ever happened, he would kiss them goodnight but won’t call them the next day. In high school he lost his virginity at a party, he wasn’t nervous, just did things he’s seen in filthy pornorgraphy. The very next day the girl spread the rumor that Taehyung was a sex god, that he probably had sex everyday with a different people. Was that a compliment? He remembered thinking to himself as he sat in the back of the classroom, feeling people secretly stare at him. 
That day he met Jimin. Jimin was a popular boy that everyone swoon over. Of course he had a girlfriend, they have been dating since middle school. The guys would gawk at her when she would wear a sports bra to track practice. Taehyung was in art class sketching an apple, Jimin came over and talked to him as if they were friends. It was nice, Taehyung listened to Jimin complain about his art. When class was over, Jimin asked Taehyung to hang out with him after school. When Taehyung sat on Jimin’s bed, he looked over on the desk and saw a picture of Jimin and his girlfriend. Right next to it was a picture of what he assumed was Jimin’s family. A Mom, Dad, an older brother, and Jimin. He turned his gaze back to Jimin...who was undressing in front of him. Jimin’s underwear was the only thing on, Taehyung didn’t expect him to have lean muscles and define abs. An hour later  they were both breathless, exhausted from the sex. 
“ I’m not gay.” Jimin tells Taehyung as he cleans himself with a rag. 
“ Okay.” Taehyung shrugs and pulls his pants up. He’s watched gay porn and straight porn before and got turned on by both of them, so it doesn’t come to much of a surprise that he enjoyed the sex with Jimin. 
*******
Taehyung watches from afar when Jimin kisses his girlfriend in the school halls, wondering if that’s love. The next few months, Taehyung and Jimin fool around more. Jimin would call Taehyung over, then they would fuck and they would both be on their way. There were never conversations or pillow talks, until right now.
“ I’m gay.” Jimin confesses to Taehyung. 
“Cool.” Taehyung shrugs, looking for his shoes. 
“ That’s all your gonna say?” Jimin rolls his eyes grabbing his t-shirt wiping the come on his stomach. 
“ I’m bisexual, happy?” Taehyung looks at his phone and notices a missed call from his mother. He tucks his phone away, “ Why are you still with her? Your girlfriend.” He finally asks the question he’s been meaning to ask since the beginning.
“ I love her and I don’t want to hurt her, but I can’t love her like that.” Jimin looks at the picture of them and flips it down, almost ashamed of how much of a coward he is. “ Plus my Dad would kill me if I told him I like men.” He throws his head back looking at the ceiling not wanting to cry his eyes out. 
Taehyung thinks love is complicated, he thinks people who are in love are selfish. They rather hurt themselves for the sake of love. It’s stupid he wants to tell Jimin that but he keeps quiet until Jimin looks at him with tears eyes. “ I don’t know what to say…”
“It’s fine...you don’t have to say anything just keep me company, yeah?” 
“ Okay,” Taehyung sits back on the bed watching but not really watching tv with Jimin. 
---
Taehyung’s mom was proud of him when he got accepted to a good college, she would brag to her friends and show pictures of his acceptance letters. Along with bragging how she raised Taehyung all by herself. Taehyung didn’t mind that he was in the spotlight, whatever made his mom happy he would comply with whatever she does. He was good with numbers so he was going to major in data analysis, he really wanted to major in art but his mom laughed in his face, telling him to be realistic. 
Taehyung is now in his third year of college, wanting to just graduate already, done with the shitload of classwork and long ass lectures. Just right now he just finished his homework that took him three hours. He’s about to call it a night until Jungkook barges in his room, yelling at him to get dressed for a party. Taehyung switches his dirty hoodie with a clean hoodie, opting out grey sweatpants with jeans. He keeps his glasses on, due to his eyes being tired and not wanting to irritate them with contacts. 
Jungkook hands Taehyung a drink, there’s obscene music, blunts being handed around, and people grinding on each other. “ When’s the last time you got laid?” Jungkook asked, as he took a gulp of his beer.
“ Last week...I think.” Taehyung searches through his mental sex list, but can’t seem to remember the girls face or name. He looks around and watches a couple argue with each other. The man rolls his eyes as the woman tries not to cry, the woman ends up leaving him and going upstairs.
“ Damn, lucky. I tried to hook up with this girl and she ended up leaving me hanging. Claimed that she’s not over her boyfriend, started crying on me when I was going down on her.” Jungkook cringes, sipping more alcohol. “ Be my wingman, yeah?” 
“ Sure,” Taehyung nods. Jungkook is talking to this pretty girl, and she laughs at every joke that Jungkook makes. Taehyung wasn’t even sure why he asked him to his wingman when Jungkook can easily get a girl to bed. Jungkook nods absentmindedly when Taehyung excuses himself, he wanders around the frat house looking at people getting wasted. Once he gets tired of it he goes upstairs, hoping to find solace in an empty room. He opens a bedroom door, and notices a girl with a pencil and notebook. “ My bad-,” Taehyung is about to close the door.
You look up from your sketchpad, you see a tall man with messy curls and glasses. “ You can stay,” you observe him, he looks like he was forced to come here. There’s no red solo cup in his hand, he looks like he hasn’t a good night's rest. Also why else would he look mindlessly into rooms, the bathroom doors have a handwritten sign stating ‘BATHROOM’, so he must be bored or something searching into bedrooms. “ Or don’t. I don’t care.” You watch him close the door, entering the room.
“ Is this your room?” Taehyung looks around the room, noticing posters of naked women and marvel posters. Weird combination he notes. Along with the dirty clothes scattered all over the floor. 
“ No,” you laugh. Shutting your notebook close, taking notice of his nice hands brushing his hair back. “ My friend’s room. I didn’t really feel like partying just decided to sketch,” you lift your pad up. He nods and sits on the bed.
“ Can I draw?” Taehyung points towards the sketchpad. He hasn’t drawn in months too busy in his schoolwork, his fingers would sometimes draw on foggy windows but nothing more. You nod tearing a piece of paper out and handing him a pencil, he thanks you. 
You were sneakily glancing at him, sketching him, his angular jaw, messing hair, uneven eyelid, long eyelashes. Getting lost at his elegant features, wondering if he knows how beautiful he looks. You shake your head for easily fawning over this man. His hands are even beautiful, they travel across the paper gracefully with each stroke. You turn your eyes away when he makes eye contact with you, cheeks getting warm. “ What’s your name?” You ask while shading the contours of his cheeks.
“ Taehyung.” He folded his paper into a small square, putting it into his pocket. “ Yours?”
“ Y/N,” you smile.
---
“ Did you get laid yesterday night?” Jungkook is shirtless with scratch marks behind his back, there’s a couple of hickies on his neck.
Taehyung takes a sip of his tea before answering, “No, just talking to some girl. Her name is Y/N.” 
“ Y/N. She’s a nice girl. One time I forgot a scantron for class and she gave me one. She’s also friends with Namjoon.” Jungkook pours himself coffee sitting next to Taehyung. “ Are you interested in her?”
Taehyung would be lying if said he wasn’t interested in you. When he entered the room he thought you were pretty and had a kind smile. “ Maybe...why?” 
“ It’s best if you don’t try to get at her. Y/N looks the type to fall in love easily.” Jungkook sighs cracking his back on the back of the chair, groaning at his achy body. Taehyung wonders how can someone fall in love easily, he’s not one to believe in love at first sight or any kind of stuff in that realm. “ Alright, I’m gonna take a quick shower and then we can leave.” 
Taehyung and Jungkook are at the library studying or trying to study, Jungkook is texting someone the whole time instead of studying for his macroeconimics test. While Taehyung is playing video games on his phone. “ Hey guys! Didn’t know you actually study Jungkook,” Namjoon jokes, ruffling Jungkook’s hair. Jungkook rolls his eyes pushing his hand off his head mumbling curse words at him. Taehyung looks to the side of Namjoon and notices you laughing as the scene unfolds. You’re carrying ice americanos and Jungkook immediately takes it out of the carrier, thanking you. 
You look at Taehyung placing one in front of him, “ I didn’t know what kind of coffee you liked.” Taehyung is wearing similar clothing to what he wore at the party, mostly muted green colors and his circle glasses, his hair is pushed back with a headband. He looks surprised to see you, but nevertheless thanks you for the coffee. The conversations between Jungkook and Namjoon get more serious when they finally decide to study for their materials. You try to study but you want to talk to Taehyung wanting to get to know him more, you nudge your foot against his leg. He looks up, looking at you in question, you nod your head towards the exit entrance, he nods slowly unsure to what you're up to but following your lead. Jungkook and Namjoon are too invested in their studying to see you and Taehyung leave. “ Do you wanna go to my apartment?”
“ Sure,” Taehyung shrugs. The apartment was small and kind of messy, you try to hurry up and toss some of the paintbrushes in the sink. There’s water cups filled with murky colors, and paint marks on the tables, he’s not used to a sight like this. In his apartment it is always clean and tidy, not a dirty plate in sight. “ You live by yourself?” he asked, placing his stuff on the table. 
“ Yeah, my roommate moved four months ago with her boyfriend.” You give up cleaning the mess since there’s too much to clean. “ Want some-” You are interrupted when you feel Taehyung’s lips on your, your hands push his chest flustered at the sudden kiss.
“ I-I- sorry...I must have read something wrong,” he looks embarrassed immediately backing up giving you space. “ I thought you invited me to your apartment for sex.” Taehyung notices how your eyes widen, fuck he feels like an ass, scared that he made you uncomfortable. “ I should go…” he goes to pick up his bags ready to bolt out.
“ I just wanted to talk...to get to know you better,” you speak before his hands grab the doorknob. “ We can paint and talk, if that's okay with you?” 
“ Are you sure? You don’t want me to leave?” 
“ Stay.” You go to the sink to wash your dirty brushes. 
Taehyung sits down looking at the wall, notices a canvas of a man, he has plump lips, gentle eyes, overall he is beautiful, something that seemed out of this world. Maybe it was the way it was painted that made it appear like that. “ You painted that?” Taehyung speaks shifting his gaze to you.
You look at where Taehyung was pointing at, it was the painting of your ex boyfriend, “ Yeah, that’s my ex boyfriend, Seokjin. The professor told us to paint the definition of love…,” you stare at Seokjin’s face, remembering the memories you shared. The brushes are all cleaned and you set them down, grabbing some water colors that are in the cabinet. 
“ Do you still love him?” Taehyung curiously asked, watching carefully at your reaction.
There’s a slight pain of thinking about him, truly not over his death. “ Yeah I’ll always have love for him…” 
Taehyung wants to ask more about him but doesn’t want to intrude, he doesn’t say anything else but paints. This is when Taehyung feels like he’s truly being himself painting, expressing himself without saying anything. Moments like these wish Taehyung would’ve chosen doing what he has a passion for insteading appealing to his mothers standards. 
“ Why are you a data analysis major?” The artwork he is doing is remarkable, there’s dark undertones and eerie about it but it is beautiful something that you have to keep staring at.
He chuckles, “ Because I need to eat.” You look down feeling a little insulted he must've noticed since he immediately apologizes. 
“ It’s okay. You know if you ever want to relax and paint, you can come here,” you continue painting small flowers. The first time, he smiles and nods his head.
---
5 months later
This is the third flower shop visited and he’s getting more tired with each second. “ This arrangement or this one?” You ask Taehyung, as you hold two bouquets. One was more filled with carnations and the other was filled with lilies. He gives it some thought before pointing at the carnations. “ This would be pretty to paint,” you smell it getting happy inside.
“ Finally, when can we eat...I didn't eat anything this morning,” his stomach growls at the thought of food. He’s still carrying the vases you bought at the thrift shop, you had to plead with you to not buy another antique mirror because he knows he would have to carry it to the apartment.
You gave the cashier the money, as he wraps the flowers in newspaper, turning your head you look at Taehyung, “ Why did you come with me if you were going to complain the whole time?” You laugh at his scrunched nose as you pinch it. The flowers are handed back and you thank the cashier, leaving with Taehyung.
“ Because I wanted to,” Taehyung shrugs. In your apartment he puts the flowers away as you cook him food, he always enjoys your cooking. When he was younger all he ever ate was ramen, never really ate some home cooked meals, his mother was always busy working trying to financially support the family so he never once asked his mom for dinner. Even at his own apartment he doesn’t eat Jungkook’s food since he doesn’t know how to cook either. Sometimes when he’s hungry he’ll just come to your apartment and you’ll be more than happy to cook for him.
When Taehyung enters his apartment Jungkook is watching anime, foot propped on the table and sipping some beer. “ Back from your girlfriends’ so soon?” 
“ Not my girlfriend but yeah, I left my schoolwork here so I had to come back,” he sighs. Taehyung doesn’t get mad when Jungkook teases him about you being his girlfriend, but he sometimes gets annoyed. He likes the friendship between the two of you, it’s different from any other friendships he had in the past. “ Tomorrow night the apartment is mine. This guy wants to hangout with me.”
“ Just say he wants to fuck you,” Jungkook yells as Taehyung closes his bedroom door. 
---
You meet Taehyung at the park with some bread, he hugs you and asks about your day. “ It was okay. Had lunch with my Dad, but it always ends up in some lecture. I swear, sometimes it feels like I’m fifteen or something,” you tear a piece of bread throwing it into the pond watching some ducks gobble it. You try to look at Taehyung but it hurts when you see some hickies on his neck. On the day you were about to confess your feelings to Taehyung you asked him if he ever loved someone, he laughed and said that he doesn’t believe in no such thing as love. As much as you wanted to disapprove of that idea, you couldn’t be the one to change it.
He grabs some bread, chucking some pieces out, “ What was the argument?”
You laugh thinking about your Dad’s red face, “ I invited him to my apartment, and he found the blunt we smoked together in the ashtray.”
“ Shit, I should’ve thrown it away,” Taehyung laughs too, pushing some of his hair back. 
“ Just glad he didn’t find any of my sex toys,” you cringe just thinking about it. You feel something tugging the end of your skirt, looking down you see a toddler smiling cheekily pointing at the bread. You smile, “ Here, have fun,” you hand him the rest of your bread. You watch him wobble as he runs to his mother throwing the whole slice in the water. 
“ Sex toys?” Taehyung asked once the child was out of sight. “ Like what?,” Taehyung is interested, he doesn’t know, maybe because he can’t imagine you using them. Or he wants to know how you use it. There were times when Taehyung wanted to have sex with you but he turned those urges off. He doesn’t want to give you mixed signals remembering Jungkook’s words of advice. “ Never-”
“ A dildo, vibrator, hitachi wand, or even my favorite pillow,” you trail off not thinking much until you realize who you are confessing to. “ I-I uh…”
“ How often?,” Taehyung asked quietly, not wanting any other people hearing the conversation. He shouldn’t get turned on but he is.
Something about Taehyung’s deep quiet voice is making you squeeze your thighs, “ Every night…” You're still looking at the pond, watching the ripples that are caused by the ducks swimming away. You can feel Taehyung's stare but you ignore it. The conversation switches to another topic when you talk about your school work. The sun sets and you both part ways.
The sound of tea kettle wakes you up from your concentration of you sketching, sighing you pour yourself the tea. Looking at your art, you turn it over not wanting to see Taehyung’s face right now. But fate has different plans when you hear knocking on the door, Taehyung appears, he lets himself in and is close to your face.
“ Taehyung?” You’re puzzled at his frazzled state, deeply staring into your eyes. 
“ Can I kiss you?” The words are quiet but firm. Stupidly you nod, not caring about any consequences. His hands cup your face, immediately going into the kiss. The kisses get deeper, his hands travel to your hips bringing you closer to him quickly, you lose friction from the fluffy socks you're wearing causing you to slip, immediately grabbing Taehyung as you fall backwards. His hands are quick to save himself from not falling onto you. There’s a slight pain on your tailbone but is immediately forgotten when Taehyung goes back to kissing you.
The big t-shirt you are wearing is tossed, his hands immediately fondle your breast, his lips leaving kisses on your neck, groaning as he pushes his bulge against your clothed core. “ Taehyung...let me touch you,” you moan when he bites your neck. He pulls back, pecking your lips before taking off his clothes. Your hands trail against his chest, his stomach, towards his pelvic, trying to remember every part of him. He is surprised to have you touching him like he was some marvel statue, usually his past hookups just rush into the sex. It’s very intimate and he doesn’t know how to feel about it.
 Taehyung groans when you touch his dick, he’s hard and wants to be inside of you already. He comes down kissing you, his hands get rid of your panties, fingers spreading your wetness. The moans you let out are turning him on even more, he stretches you out with his fingers. He likes the way your eyes flutter, the shape of your lips tremble, along with your chest inhaling and exhaling deeply. “ You are so pretty,” he doesn’t mean to say it loudly but he does. There’s a blush that blooms on your cheeks, it reminds him of the flowers you would get to study paint.
“ Taehyung,” you moan slightly flustered at his compliment. He reaches for his pants grabbing a condom. “ You don’t want to go to the bedroom?” The floor is still cold against your back, and the last time you cleaned the floor was days ago. 
Taehyung shakes head, already putting on the condom not wanting to waste time, “ Too far,” he smiles when you laugh. He enters you feeling you clench tightly around, he moans digging his head into your neck. “ You are so tight,” he groans. “ Feels so fucking good, having you like this,” he confesses.
You moan loudly, his thick cock streching “ Oh fuck, Taehyung, please just fuck me,” your hands go to his waist urging him to move. He listens to your command, thrusting slowly trying to get deep as he can. Maybe if you can close your eyes you can pretend that he’s in love with you. He goes faster and cries at the pace he’s going, the pleasure is overwhelming, something that you can’t get with your own hands. “ I’m close already,” your hand goes to tug at his wavy hair.
“ Me too,” his voice is deeper. His hand travels down to your pussy searching for your clit and rubbing it. “ Come for me,” he says into your ear. You moan his name loudly, cumming around his cock, scratching his back. The sight of you creaming around him makes him immediately come, he searches for your lips, moaning your name in the kiss. The two of you lay in the afterglow of the sex, panting loudly his body is barely being hold up, and you laying on the hard floor.
Taehyung gets up throwing his condom away, he looks at you still laying on the floor with your eyes close, the realization of him having sex with you just popped up. He hurriedly gets dressed, then helps you get dressed, he gets shocked when you kiss him as a thank you. The next morning Taehyung wakes up early, making sure to leave quietly, not wanting to disrupt your sleep.
---
You weren’t going to lie, it kind of hurt not waking up beside Taehyung but you shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up. Namjoon invites you to a kick back, only inviting a few people to his house to chill and drink. You take solace on the couch, watching people get high and drunk, you weren’t in the mood to do either so you make conversation with a slightly high Hoseok. He’s in mid-discussion about Shrek being a cinematic masterpiece, when Jungkook yells from the door entrance that he has Taco Bell. Taehyung is beside him wearing all black beanie, crewneck, and sweatpants, but still looks better than half of the people here.
 You turn your gaze back to Hoseok who’s left walking towards Jungkook immediately grabbing a taco. Sighing you decide to get fresh air, staring at the tall dark buildings. “ Whatcha you doing here by yourself? It’s fucking freezing,” Taehyung speaks out closing the slider door standing by you. He takes off his vape pen inhaling it.
“ Wanted fresh air,” you shrug, still staring at the buildings. “ Hoseok left me for tacos. He was onto something, saying that Shrek is a masterpiece. Who knows maybe he’ll write his thesis about it.” Taehyung chuckles, he keeps looking at you and you finally stare at him. “ Why’d you kiss me yesterday?”
He blows out the smoke, and puts his pen away, “ Cuz I wanted to,” he shrugs not thinking much about it. 
“ Nothing else?” You arch your eyebrow.
He continues to stare into your eyes “ Nope,” he shakes his head.  
Some part of you wanted him to say that he had feelings for you but in the back of your mind you knew that wasn’t going to happen. You smile pushing his chest, “ Well that’s the last time we are ever going to do anything like that.” The both of you know that is a lie.
---
For the next couple of months you and Taehyung continue sleeping with each other.
When you are studying with Namjoon in the library, Jungkook and Taehyung spontaneously show up, causing Namjoon to groan. “ You know you love me,” Jungkook jokingly says sitting next to him. 
Taehyung sits down next to you, looking at your classwork, “ How long have you been studying,” he whispers. 
You turn to look at the time of your phone, “ Like four hours,” you sigh. He hands you a jolly rancher, you immediately put in your mouth. “ Why are you here? You texted me that you were going to take a fat ass nap?”
“ I wanted to see you, kind of missed you,” he lays his head against the table. His eyes close when you brush his soft hair. 
“ I’ll be done in forty minutes.” He lets off a quiet okay continuing to look at you doing your work. 
Taehyung wakes up to you caressing his cheek, his neck is in pain from the awkward position he slept in. “ Where did Jungkook and Namjoon go?,” he looks at the empty seats. He tries to crack his neck and watches you pack your stuff.
“ They left about twenty minutes ago,” you get up stretching your legs. “ Let’s head home. We still have left over pizza,” you groan at the pain on your lower back. 
For some odd reason Taehyung liked hearing you say home, there’s some comfort it gives him but he never says it out loud. Taehyung grabs your backpack, holding it for you as you walk towards your car. You look in the fridge for the pizza, but Taehyung has other plans when he closes the fridge door, pinning you against it kissing you feverishly, his tongue already begging for entrance. Laughing you push him away, “ What’s gotten into you?”
“ I told you...I miss you,” his hands are on your waist. He kisses you again, picking you up easily and placing you on the kitchen table. He takes off your pants and panties, and you reach for his pants but he stops you forcing you to lie completely on the table. “ Look at you, laying so pretty on the table,” he bends down kissing you on your lips before he goes down on you. 
He licks your cunt, gently prodding his tongue up and down. Your hips move frantically wanting to feel more of him. His rough hands pin your hips, and he continues with his teasing, lightly kissing your clit before touring you with his slow pace.  “ Look at your pussy, it looks like the roses you painted yesterday…,” his finger goes up and down your folds.
The words make your cheeks grow hot, “ No it doesn’t,” you get shy shaking your head. The embarrassment fills your body, for maybe shamelessly liking his compliment. You are probably never going to look at roses the same way ever again.
“ Yeah, it does Y/N, but your pussy is more pretty,” he continues to tease you. Wanting to see you get more flustered, he likes it when you do it gets him more turned on. “ I wonder if it smells like roses too,” he’s about to smell your pussy but you hold his head. He watches you cutely shake your head. 
Taehyung is filthy but it makes you get even more aroused. “ It won’t,” you whisper, wanting to cry but he shakes his kissing the inside of your thigh to try to comfort you. 
He smells your pussy and he groans, your heart thumps faster and nervous for what's about to say, “ It smells better,” he kisses your clit. His tongue keeps tracing your folds gently wanting to make you beg for more. The movement of his tongue makes you want to pull your own hair out. The pleasure is barely there but it grows within each second of his tongue flicking up and down.
“ Taehyung,” you let out desperate whine, “ please, I need more.” One of his hands slap your cunt, and your back arches surprise but even more turned on. You never knew that you were into that. The sting hurts at first but shoots up ecstasy after a nanosecond, you can’t help but seek more. “ More!” 
Taehyung lets out a dark chuckle, he gives you another slap, slightly harder on the center of your clit, the stinging making your face scrunch up but letting out a lewd moan. He groans at your wetness seeping out some of it landing on the table.
Suddenly, he is done with all the teasing, and dives in, nose touching your clit and tongue inside your entrance going in and out. Finding it extremely hot that you are riding his face, like the pillow on your bed. Taehyung vividly remembers when you showed him how you ride your pillow last week. The way you desperately let out cute whines trying so hard to relieve yourself as Taehyung only watched, wanting to see you get off without his help. 
He moves his face side to side so his nose can rub your clit. Head in the clouds, your body is floating with ecstasy wanting to stay in it forever. Your hands reach down trying to anchor yourself, Taehyung reaches for your hand holding it tight. You cry out his name loudly, coming intensely, your eyes are shut when it doesn’t seem to stop. Your body finally calms down, looking down you see Taehyung’s face is completely wet. “ Oh my god, did I-
“ Fuck, that was hot,” Taehyung wipes his face with the back his arm. He kisses your lips, he helps you from the table, handing you your panties. 
“ Let me repay you?,” you tug at his belt loop, you look down to see the bulge is gone and there’s a wet stain. Your eyes widen, “ Did you come?”
“ Yeah, you squirting on me, made me bust a nut. I swore I never came that hard either,” he sighs happily. Laughing you go towards the fridge, finally eating the cold pizza. You hand him one and he eats it in two bites. “ My mom called me today…”
Taehyung hardly talks about his family, you only know that he was raised only by his mother. He never talked bad about her but you can tell that they didn’t have a close  relationship. “ What happened?” You and Taehyung move so you're sitting on the couch.
“ She told me that my father wanted to meet up with me,” Taehyung rolls his eyes. “ Told her that I don’t want to. She started crying and telling me that he’s my father...I sometimes think she’s still in love with him. She’s an idiot.” He lays his back staring at the ceiling.
“ Sometimes it’s hard to get over someone that you once loved. The one you shared your laughs, arguments, touches, memories...vanish into thin air... or you could hold onto it. Love isn’t easy...it’s messy, it’s confusing but it’s beautiful being able to share it with someone. Don’t you think?” You look at Taehyung’s side profile.
Taehyung turns his head looking at you, “ I don’t know...I will never fall in love. I don’t want to end up like my parents,” he closes his eyes.
“ Taehyung-“
He opens his eyes smiling, grabbing your hands, “ Let’s head to bed,” already over the conversation. 
---
Jungkook is cooking breakfast and almost burns his hand when a random girl walks out of Taehyung’s room. Immediately she exits their apartment, doing the walk of shame. Taehyung walks out shirtless with hickies on his chest and dishevelled hair. Jungkook clears his throat, “ Thought you were seeing Y/N,” he turns off the stove.
Taehyung grabs a glass of water, “ We are just friends,” he takes several gulps.
Jungkook scoffs rolling his eyes at his friend’s stupidity, “ Yeah, friends who have sex, hold hands, and almost spend every night together. My bad I forgot they changed the definition of ‘friends’ in the Webster dictionary.”
“ Whatever man...I'm out of here,” Taehyung leaves the kitchen going to his room. He looks at himself in the mirror, disgusted at his appearance, at the splotchy marks on his neck. Why am I like this? Taehyung leaves his apartment ignoring Jungkook, entering your apartment with his set of keys. He looks at you cooking pancakes, you look at him quickly and smiling.
“ Hey...you want some? It’s your favorite banana pancakes,” you flip the pancake. He looks at the big stack of pancakes you have on the table, you continue with the last couple of pancakes and sit down taking a couple of bites. You are consumed by the taste, not really focusing on Taehyung until he clears his throat, looking at him you notice marks on his neck. Your heart plummets, you thought the whole time the two of you have been messing around he wasn’t seeing anyone else. “ You hooked up with someone else yesterday?,” you set your utensils down.
Taehyung nods trying to look nonchalant, “ Yeah, is that a problem?” 
“ No,” you try to lie to yourself but it’s no use, your face looks the opposite of how you feel, disheartening, you can’t save face even if your life's on the line. Swallowing hard you shake your head, “ Actually, yes. It is a problem,” you sigh. “ I don’t understand you. You treat me like a lover, but then you do things like this…” you get up from the kitchen table tossing the plates in the sink, not caring that you didn’t finish the meal, “ I open my heart with you but you don’t do the same. I feel used in this relationship or whatever the hell this is,” your hands clenched tightly as you turn around and face Taehyung.
He’s now by the kitchen counter standing up, “ I told you I’m not looking for love. I’m sorry if I gave you mixed feelings but I don’t want this to end whatever we have with each other. I like how things are-”
You scoff, rolling your eyes at his words, “ Well I don’t...if you want to fuck around then do it... I’m not going to care for you like I love you anymore.” The angry tears stream down your face, your hands wipe them before he could, “ Go Taehyung. I wish you the best,” his face is etched with subtle pain, turning away from him you wash the dishes not bothering to look at the sound of him leaving.
---
Three days later
Taehyung hasn’t been sleeping well, tossing and turning, giving up completely and decides to study all night long. This has been a daily occurrence since the fight with you. I’m not going to care for you like I love you anymore. Taehyung groans, wanting to get the image of you out of his brain. Jungkook knocks on his door, eyes widening at the sight of him, “ You look like shit, c’mon Namjoon is having another get together.”
When Taehyung shows up to the party he watches you have a conversation with Hoseok, from a far distant, unsure how you would react if you saw him. Taehyung waits till Hoseok leaves, walking towards you as you are on your phone texting someone. He watches you jolt as he calls your name. “ Hey,” you greet him but there’s no smile or warmth like you usually greet. And he hates it, it makes him feel like a stranger.
“ About the last time, I’m sorry that we got into an argument,” Taehyung apologizes, he tucks his hands in his pockets, a nervous tick he developed when he was elementary. 
“ Ok,” you nod your head, not wanting to discuss something so private in a social setting. “ I should get going, I got a research paper to go over,” you give him one last glance and leave, not saying goodbye to anyone else.
Taehyung doesn’t like the way your back faces him, leaving him all alone with a place full of people. He pushes against people not wanting to let you go so easily, he wants to talk to you, he wants to hear you talk. He wants to lay in your bed and listen to your heart beat while you stroke his hair, letting him fall asleep in your arms. You're opening your car door, and you halt when he calls your name, you wait patiently for what he’s going to say. Please stay.  “ I-I uh...I wish you the best, Y/N” Taehyung says. He watches you give him one last small smile and drive away. 
---
Six months later
Taehyung hates visiting his mother, there’s always something unsettling when he enters his childhood home. As soon as greets his mother she comments about his weight, his slightly long wavy hair, and baggy clothes. She doesn’t ask him college, she never does. Instead he listens to her talk about her work. “ I told your father that you're in town,” she says over the sound of the faucet. Taehyung nods, handing her the dirty dishes, “ I told him you are free tomorrow, you are going to visit him at IHOP,” she leaves no room for argument. 
The sun wakes up Taehyung before his alarm does, he doesn’t really put in effort to look nice but when his mother gives him a look, he changes into something more appropriate. Maybe if Taehyung was in middle school he would be nervous meeting his father but now that he’s an adult he couldn’t care less. It takes him a while to find his father, he looks older from his adolescent years, has a few gray hairs and slightly wrinkled skin. His father stands up, and Taehyung immediately holds his hand out giving him a handshake not wanting to receive an awkward hug. His father looks surprised but compiles, awkwardly laughing and sits down taking a gulp of his hot black coffee. “ I ordered your favorite,” his father points to the triple drizzle chocolate milkshake with a red cherry on top that is set in front of Taehyung. “ How are you kiddo? You look so grown up, your mother has been feeding you well, huh?”
“ Yup.” Taehyung looks at the red cherry. 
There’s too much uncomfortable tension, and his father is letting more awkward coughs to try to fill the silence. “ Almost done with college, yeah? Just three more months, and you gotta face the real world,” his father comments.
Taehyung has been facing the real world since he was a teenager, he worked when he was in highschool to pay for college, he cooked his own dinner because his mother always came home late, he didn’t need to graduate college to find out the world was shitty. “ Yeah.”
His father tries really hard to have some sort of conversation with his son.“ You still like to paint?”
Taehyung smiles, getting reminded of you. He wonders what you are doing right now, if you are painting the canvas he bought you when you guys were friends. “ No. I mean yeah, sorta. I painted with this girl, she made me fall back in love with painting but I did something horrible to her. Now I can’t paint without thinking about her,” he sighs. 
There’s surprise etched on his father’s face, since more than a word came out of his son’s mouth. “ Seems like a very important person to you. You should talk things out with her, don’t want to lose someone like that.” 
Taehyung rolls his eyes, “ Why? You did the same thing to us.”
“ Taehyung-”
“ You really fucked me up father, I hate that you and mom made me this way. I want to love her but I’m scared...what if she ends up leaving me like you did. I rather be alone for the rest of my life than to have someone steal a part of me,” Taehyung grits his teeth.
“ I-I I’m sorry Taehyung...I really am. I hate myself everyday for not visiting you, I should’ve been there for you...Your mother and I once loved each other but sometimes people fall out of love, but that doesn’t mean love is evil. Don’t give up on love because of our failed marriage, son, you deserve to be in love.”
---
One week later
“ Fuck, watch where you going asshole,” you yell at the asshole who wasn’t paying attention that made you drop all of your art supplies. He doesn’t even bother apologizing, just continues to walk with his friends. You pick up your pencils, someone helps you pick up your other materials. “ Thank-” you stop midway when your eyes are met with Taehyung. He hands you the sketchpads, you quickly put it in your bag, “ Thanks.”
“ No problem. You just got out of class?,” he asked intently looking at you.
His hair is pushed back by his headband, showing his forehead, he’s wearing his usual baggy grandpa clothes. It makes your heart flutter, but you quickly push the feeling away. “ Yeah, but I have to go back to pick up my two pieces,” you shrug. 
“ You need a hand?” He offers with a careful smile.
You contemplate, you don’t want to make two trips, “ If you’re not busy…”
He eagerly shakes his head. “ I’m not, let me help.” Taehyung follows you to the art room, and picks up the pieces easily despite it being large canvases. There’s silence when you are done putting it in your car. 
“ Thank you,” you give him a grateful smile. “ Do you need to ride home?”
Taehyung took his car to campus but he lies, he accepts your offer in hopes that you guys can talk things over. The radio is on low, and Taehyung is almost near his apartment, “ I lied I don’t need a ride,” he starts off and you let out a surprise laugh.
“ Why are you just telling me now?,” you are about two minutes from the destination. 
“ I wanted to talk to you about what happened to us-”
You sigh, not wanting to reopen bandage wounds on your heart, “ Taehyung, I’m over it-” 
His head turns to face you, “ I love you. I think I always loved you since we became friends. I was scared to tell you because it was something so new for me...I was selfish, I thought that everything we had was fine but I never took your feelings into consideration.” He’s breathing really hard because he finally confessed his heart out, something he vowed he’ll never do since he was a child. 
“ Why? Why now?,” you swallow hard, not looking at him but only the road. Scared that if you look into his eyes, you’ll get lost into them. 
“ It took me a while to come in terms with how I am feeling. Because love is messy right?,” his voice cracks.
The car is now parked in his driveway, “ Yeah, it is.” Turning to finally face him, he has little tears in his eyes that haven’t fallen. “ I still love you, Taehyung,” your hand touches his soft cheek, caressing it. Taehyung leans closer to you and you close your eyes expecting a kiss, instead he sobs against your neck. Feeling wet tears against your neck, you try to coddle him but the tight space in the car is not giving you any room to do so. “ Tae, why are you crying?,” you comb the back of his curls.
Taehyung pulls away giving you a tearful smile, “ Because for the first time in my life I know what love is.”
end.
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empressapprentice · 3 years
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Arcana Headcanons: Infidelity + M6
I’m back with more headcanons, and will be sharing even more soon as I have more free time! My last batch was super sweet and fluffy, these are decidedly not. I’m doing these headcanons as character study exercises, and since the LIs are so devoted to you in-game, I wanted to think about what could possibly motivate them to cheat. Not all of these involve sex because I thought that certain characters would consider emotional interactions cheating on their partner. But warning for non-explicit sexual content for several of the M6--I’d say this is PG-13. These are kind of long, but I felt I needed some good exposition to set things up. I hate how much I enjoy angst :( Feedback and requests are always welcomed: if you hate it or love it, let me know why so I can improve! Plus, check out my Ao3 here, where I’ll be posting these as well.
Asra
Asra will never, ever regret giving up half his heart for you. But one night, he can’t sleep, feeling regret for the friendships and relationships he missed out on because it’s so difficult to form connections with others. He wishes that while he waited for you to recover from the resurrection, he’d been able to let others into his life.
He’s slept with people other than you (Julian, for one), but not since you woke up after the ritual. He realizes that he can’t remember any of his previous encounters. He completely forgot what anyone other than you feels like to hold and to touch.
The next day, he tells you that he wants to take a quick overnight trip to Nopal. With such late notice, you can’t tag along. He just wants to spend some time alone and actually get to know the villagers for once, intending to practice his social skills and break the cycle of isolation he unintentionally maintained with the people there.
When he sits around the fire, eating and sharing stories with the villagers, a handsome young man approaches him. He says that he’s always had a crush on the mysterious magician, but could tell that Asra was never open to getting to know anyone. Asra, remembering that he doesn’t know what it’s like to be close to someone else, starts flirting back. Before he knows it, his lips are brushing against the stranger’s.
The moment their lips meet, Asra pulls back sharply, overcome with guilt for betraying your trust. He shakily apologizes to the young man, saying he didn’t know what came over him. He runs back to his hut, gets on the Beast and travels back to Vesuvia as fast as possible. Faust comforts him as he sobs silently, thinking about never wanting to leave your arms again.
Nadia
Nadia is visiting a neighboring territory and sitting through a very, very boring dinner with dignitaries. She’s been away from Vesuvia for a week and anticipates having to stay for at least one more as negotiations drag on. She’s loath to admit it, but she’s lonely. The letters you’ve exchanged via Chandra only make the separation more painful.
So when a diplomat approaches her with questions about Vesuvia, she’s happy to have some company. She clearly admires Nadia quite a bit and compliments the work she’s done to turn Vesuvia around.
While basking in her companion’s kind words, she unconsciously moves closer to the other woman. It doesn’t take long for the conversation to become personal, moving away from professional networking. And even more quickly, the conversation becomes flirty. When Nadia moves her hand to touch the other woman, her intentions are clear. The diplomat is flattered, but hesitant, asking, “Aren’t you married?”
Nadia is momentarily stunned by the question, but refuses to lose her composure. The lie comes easily, from years of schmoozing fellow politicians. She replies that her marriage is open. The diplomat smiles, unaware of the shame pooling in Nadia’s core. She sheepishly invites the Countess back to her room.
Though the dinner is long over and the party moved into the sitting room for a digestif, many having already left, Nadia finds herself worried how it would look for the two of them to leave together. She hates herself for worrying more about appearances than you, but she’s been particularly hungry for the feel of a body next to her in bed and she’s frustrated at not being able to get what she wants for once. So, she agrees.
She excuses herself, saying that she must retire for the night, and waits a few moments for the diplomat to leave as well.
Nadia excuses herself after the shameful act, saying she must be in her own bed when servants come to wake her in the morning. She spends the rest of the night staring at her ceiling, vowing to never tell you about her indiscretion. You find out, of course, knowing your wife too well for her to hide that something’s wrong.
Julian
One night, he goes to the Rowdy Raven and is mid-tankard of Salty Bitters while animatedly telling the story of how he helped defeat the Devil. When he finishes weaving the tale, he heads back to the bar to another drink. Before he can get his coin purse to pay, an extremely attractive stranger tells Barth to put it on their tab--payment for the entertaining story.
Julian gratefully accepts, sliding into a seat to chat with the stranger. Whether consciously or unconsciously, Julian turns his charm up even more, wanting to make sure he keeps them entertained. They swap introductions, Julian’s natural tendency to call people affectionate names and his rakish attitude being interpreted as flirtation.
As the stranger returns the affection, Julian realizes what’s happening but doesn’t want to stop it. He’s practically glowing from the kind words flowing from the mouth of his new friend and is addicted to the feeling. A nagging voice tells him he should get back home to you, but it is quieted when the stranger moves closer to him, running a finger over his chest.
The stranger downs their drink and gets up abruptly. They tell Julian to finish his drink and meet them in the alley outside, with a cheeky comment about seeing what else his mouth could do thrown over their shoulder as they walk out the back of the tavern.
Julian’s breath catches at the thought of a clandestine alleyway quickie, and he can’t deny how appealing the idea seems to him. He stares at the drink remaining in his glass, fighting a mental war over whether to finish it quickly and run to the alley.
Barth approaches Julian, noticing he was about to finish his latest drink and anticipating a request for a refill. While waiting for Julian to finish, he makes light conversation with him. When he asks how you are doing, Julian bolts upright. His face reddens at the mention of your name, knowing he made a grave mistake even considering the stranger’s offer.
Julian leaves the rest of his drink untouched. He awkwardly gets up, says goodnight to Barth and hopes that he won’t run into the stranger when he exits the Raven out the front door. Mercifully, he doesn’t, but he might not have even noticed, he was so focused on getting back to you.
When he reaches the front door of the place you share, he’s sobbing. Even though it’s late, you are waiting up for him, knowing that he often needs you to offer him water and get him to eat some food after a night out. He falls on his knees before you, utterly broken by the kindness of you waiting to take care of him, and begs you to listen to him one last time. He tells you, again, that he is no good for you and it is inevitable he will break your heart. He confesses everything that happened at the bar, his voice breaking when he says how close he was to cheating on you. He admits in a small voice that he will never be worthy of you--despite all he’s changed, he’s always one step away from hurting you.
Lucio
Lucio is dressed in a new outfit, finely made and very flattering. He is about to attend a party at his estate in honor of the summer solstice. The last step in his pre-party ritual before joining you and making a grand entrance fashionably late is to admire himself in the mirror. He poses and struts in front of it, hyping himself up for the night, but stopping short as he notices a grey hair in his meticulously coiffed style.
Moving closer to the mirror, he is horrified that several other grey hairs have popped out since the last time he dyed his hair, not long ago. Stepping back, he frantically tries to change the style to hide them, shrieking as he realizes the wrinkles on his forehead are deeper than he remembers. The time-honored ritual, which has never failed to put him in the right mindset for a night of socialization, has only made him more self-conscious about his age than ever.
He starts pacing around his room, heels clicking and mind racing. He feels a strange sense of longing for his old life, when he had no responsibilities and never worried about the consequences of his actions. He’s old now, and he wishes for the freedom and stupidity of youth.
When he makes the grand entrance with you at the party, his heart isn’t really in it. He immediately heads for a servant, demanding a glass of hard liquor instead of his usual sparkling wine. One glass turns into several, and it’s not long before he’s very intoxicated. You see Lucio drinking more than usual, but you keep getting distracted by guests and can’t figure out what’s going on with him.
Once he’s drunk enough to not care about anything--just as he intended--he makes eye contact with an attractive woman in a slinky gown and winks. His rough flirting works, as the woman comes up to him. He feels a mixture of pride and shame that he’s still attractive and powerful enough to draw someone in with nothing more than a wink.
They chat briefly, but they both know Lucio desires more than conversation and the guest is more than willing to oblige. He takes the woman’s hand, leading her to an alcove far away from the party and they begin to make out. Soon his pants are at his ankles and they’re doing far more than kissing. It’s rough, messy and fast, exactly the thing he would have done in his life before he got the plague and before you.
The woman leaves him panting when they’ve both finished. His stomach drops as he realizes that this cheap attempt at feeling young again only made him feel worse. He realizes with a start that he jeopardized the thing that actually fulfills him and makes him truly happy.
Muriel
Muriel dislikes social interactions with pretty much everyone, especially strangers. How could he possibly cheat on you when he can hardly stand to spend time around his friends?
But as he becomes more comfortable with being around people, he starts spending time around the Palace. Usually, he’s waiting for you to finish your duties with Nadia so he can walk you home or go back to the shop for dinner, but sometimes he comes early so he can spend a quiet moment in the gardens.
The more time he spends at the Palace, befriending some of Lucio’s poorly-behaved albino animals and trying to train them, the more time he spends with a certain servant determined to befriend him.
At first, they don’t even catch his attention, he’s so used to tuning other people out. But this servant notices his gentle nature and sometimes brings him some water or tea and a pastry while he’s sitting by the fountain. They claim that they’ve been trained to always serve the needs of their guests, but they’re mostly interested in getting Muriel to open up.
After several weeks of Muriel becoming used to the servant and accepting that they can be trusted, he begins exchanging a few words with them beyond a grunted thanks for the refreshments. The way the servant approaches him reminds him of you and he finds he doesn’t mind light conversation to entertain him and distract him from Lucio’s pets.
One day, he realizes with a start that he not only trusts the servant and enjoys their company, but that he finds them attractive. He panics, not knowing how to tell you. He feels so ashamed of himself for letting someone new in and he’s never felt attracted to someone like this before, other than with you. He’s confused on how to handle his feelings and how he should tell you, if at all.
He confesses the situation to Asra before going to you. Asra is very kind and supportive, saying that it is natural to find other people attractive and that it’s a good sign that he is willing to let a stranger befriend him. But Muriel can’t shake the idea that he’s done wrong by you and refuses to come back to the gardens.
Portia
Given how much Portia likes secrets and romance stories, I think a part of her would love the idea of a sneaky romance. Portia is a deeply practical person, but there are times where she can get carried away with romanticism. The thrill of getting away with it and using her knowledge of the secret passages in the Palace, etc. to hide a tryst holds some appeal to her, but she’d feel ashamed of even fantasizing about it.
She has to work on the first night of the Masquerade after the events of the game due to her new responsibilities at the Palace. Out of solidarity, you work too, creating real-time magical spectacles to surprise guests. To keep up the aesthetic, you’re both still wearing costumes and masks.
While Portia is in the ballroom, she’s fretting over the floral displays and a heavily intoxicated person knocks into her, sending the vase flying. Before Portia can even react, she falls into strong arms, rescuing her from the splashing water and strewn flowers. She turns to thank the stranger, and they say she can express her gratitude by granting them a dance. In the spirit of the Masquerade, she accepts.
She and the stranger twirl around the dance floor to a fast-paced song. The stranger is a fantastic dancer and leads Portia through the steps flawlessly. They end the song by dipping her low. The music switches to a slow ballad while the lights dim. Still breathless, the stranger pulls Portia close, and she loses herself in the moment. The ambiance is incredible, and kissing a gorgeous masked stranger at a ball could not be more storybook-perfect. Their lips touch, until a swirl of magical energy brushes her and she remembers you. She steps back from the stranger and runs off, forgetting about her duties, the flowers on the ground and the rest of the Masquerade. She feels horrible about kissing someone other than you but can’t shake the smug pleasure deep inside her that loves her fairytale romance coming to life.
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youareinlovees · 3 years
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LA Lockdown (submission)
(um hi, hope you don't mind me submitting this to you but I got inspired to do some ~creative writing and Nat got deactivated 😭)
May 2020
It’s a beautiful day in LA. Joe sits at one end of the couch on the outdoor terrace, absorbed in his book. Taylor is sitting at the other end, looking out at the view across Beverly Hills and occasionally looking at her phone, her feet up on the seat and her legs draped across Joe’s lap. It’s an idyllic scene. Lockdown might be boring him stiff, with all his upcoming acting projects being pushed back indefinitely, but he knows that he does have it pretty good.
Joe gets distracted from his book by the sight of his phone screen lighting up with new messages in the Frosty Crew and partners group chat. Picking up his phone, he sees that Jesse has sent a link to a Reductress article entitled, ‘Have you made the Bon Appétit focaccia yet or do you live with someone you can fuck?’
He chuckles, but before he can respond, another message pops up in the chat.
Taylor: Not to brag but some of us have managed to do both
She looks across from the other end of the couch and smirks at him. In response, he taps out a message of his own.
Joe: And it was thoroughly enjoyable Joe: Orgasmic one might say Joe: I am of course referring to the baking that Taylor did yesterday
Taylor: Aw baby I didn’t know you liked it that much Taylor: We can have it again later if you like
Joe: Later? That’s an awfully long time to have to wait
Jesse: do you two know you can just text each other directly if you want to schedule sex?
Taylor slides her legs further across Joe’s lap, intentionally rubbing herself against his groin and shuffling closer to him. He grins, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her in so he can press a few light kisses to the side of her neck.
Billy: Text each other? She’s probably sitting in his lap right now.
Joe momentarily pulls away from kissing down Taylor’s jawline to add a final message of his own.
Joe: Oh shit, busted Joe: Billy you need to stop spying on us through the security cameras Joe: Anyway I’ll talk to you lot later
Taylor tugs his phone out of his hands and puts it down next to her own on the table, her eyes sparkling. ‘Now that you’ve finished telling everyone that we’re about to fuck, can we actually get on with it?’ she teases.
‘Hey,’ he says, looking straight into her hypnotizingly blue eyes, ‘I think you’ll find you’re the one who started it, actually.’
‘Excuse me, Joseph, but which one of us was too impatient to wait until later? It’s only the middle of the day. I would have been perfectly content waiting until after whatever movie you’ve picked out for us this evening.’
She’s a vision, her messy hair falling across her shoulders, dressed in an old Rolling Stones t-shirt and a comfy pair of short shorts that cling tightly to her ass. They’d played a game of tennis earlier and he certainly hadn’t been complaining about the view whenever she bent down to pick up another tennis ball. Now, he runs his hands up under her t-shirt, over her stomach and round her back.
‘Well,’ he says, pretending to be disappointed, ‘if that’s how you feel, I guess I’ll go back to my book.’
‘Don’t you dare,’ she says breathily, straddling his lap properly and grinding into him. He takes one hand out from under her shirt and pushes it into her hair instead, pulling her head firmly down towards his until their lips meet.
They kiss passionately, desperately, Taylor moaning into his mouth, breaking apart only to pull off each other’s t-shirts. She’s still moving back and forth on his lap and driving him wild. He’s almost fully hard by this point, and suddenly he stands up, taking her by surprise. She’s still wrapped around him, her long bare legs encircling his waist.
‘We’re going back to bed,’ he says firmly.
They could just have sex where they are, or on one of the many other couches downstairs - they’ve done it plenty of times before - but he has a sudden urge to show off to her a little, give her a practical demonstration of the benefits of all the working out he’s been doing during lockdown. He carries her through the house and up the stairs to their bedroom as she bites his earlobe and kisses his neck in a very distracting manner.
He lowers her onto their bed, climbing on top of her to kiss her again. ‘You’re still wearing far too many clothes,’ he murmurs into her ear. She shivers in anticipation - he knows how much his voice turns her on when it’s right in her ear like this - and lifts her arms above her head in response, allowing him to pull her sports bra off and turn his attention to her breasts, licking and sucking at her nipples. She gasps as he aggressively sucks a hickey onto her underboob, pushing her hips up against his body in an effort to seek out some much-needed friction.
‘Joe, please,’ she begs. ‘Enough with all this teasing, I need you now.’
He smirks, pressing his hips firmly down into hers, stopping her grinding motion. ‘Well, since you asked so nicely…’
He draws back to kneel on the floor at the side of the bed, pulling her hips towards him. He can practically hear her heart thudding in her chest as he hooks his long fingers under the waistband of her shorts, pulling them off in one motion along with her underwear. As he pushes her thighs apart and drapes her legs over his shoulders, he can see that she’s soaking wet. He decides to cut out the teasing, having made her wait for long enough already, gripping her hips and going straight for her clit.
The sound she makes in response is almost enough to make him come then and there, but he’s made of stronger stuff than that. As he continues, he can hear her breath catching in her throat, feel her perfect thighs tightening around his head, her body squirming under his attentions as she gets closer and closer to orgasm. Before long she’s coming, her whole body shuddering and her back arching off the bed as she moans out uncontrollably, ‘oh, Joe.’
He works her through her orgasm until eventually he looks up from between her legs to see her lying with her head thrown back, breathing heavily, hands clutching the sheets on either side of her, and a blissed-out expression on her face. She’s radiant, the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, and he feels a surge of satisfaction at being the only person allowed to bring her to this state.
‘Fuck,’ she mumbles deliriously, her cheeks flushed red. ‘That was so good, babe.’
But they’re not done yet, because he’s as desperate for her as she is for him. Pulling his sweatpants and boxers off, he climbs back onto the bed and hovers over her, repositioning them so that her head is on the pillow now. Taylor whines softly as he pushes into her, clearly still sensitive from the high she’s just had, so he starts off at a gentle pace. She feels so so good around him, and he nuzzles into her neck and groans softly into her ear. He loves feeling connected to her like this, their bodies intertwined and her hands in his hair. He lifts himself back off her slightly to look into her eyes.
‘s okay,’ she whispers to him, ‘you can go harder.’ He notices her gaze lingering slightly on his arms, which have bulked up noticeably in the last few months. He suppresses a grin. If that’s what she’s after, that’s what she’ll get.
Without any warning, he grabs her wrists and pins them above her head, thrusting into her with a newfound aggression. She moans, her mouth falling open and her eyes rolling back as she hitches her thighs up higher around his waist. She writhes in pleasure underneath him as he hits her spot, taking advantage of the new angle to penetrate her more deeply. With her hands restrained, she can only tighten herself around him and respond to every stroke by undulating her hips up into him. ‘Don’t you dare stop,’ she gasps, ‘I’m so close, Joe.’
The desperation in her voice turns him on even more. He can feel himself getting close, so close, and he quickly moves one of his hands down to her clit, repositioning the other one so that it’s still pinning down both of her wrists. ‘Are you going to come for me, Tay?’ he asks, his voice low and commanding. The combination of his fingers, his relentless thrusting, and his voice pushes her over the edge for a second time, and he feels her whole body shaking and clinging onto him as she comes hard.
The sensation of her body clenching around him is enough to make him explode as well, and he collapses on top of her, finally releasing her hands. She winds her arms around his shoulders and through his hair, which by this point is a complete mess, as he lies with his head on her chest, both of them slowly getting their breath back and letting their heart rates come back down to normal.
Joe can feel Taylor smiling against the top of his head. ‘Sorry for tearing you away from your book, babe,’ she says cheekily. ‘I’ll have to make you some more of my - how did you describe it? - orgasmic focaccia to make it up to you.’
He laughs at her silliness as they both get up to look for their clothes. ‘That’s okay, love, you’re good enough to eat on your own.’ Taylor snorts and pretends to smack him on the arm with her shorts, but she can’t resist replying, ‘In that case, maybe I can arrange a special dessert for you after dinner tonight.’
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refinedbuffoonery · 2 years
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Looking Through A Window (11)
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macriley married undercover au
masterlist.
I’m gonna be honest...this chapter is messy and underwritten. My time is limited these days, and I had to choose between obsessing over this not-so-important chapter and putting that time/energy into making the next chapter (which is Very Important) really good. 
That being said, there will probably be quite a wait before Ch 12 is posted. I’m trying to survive my last (!!!) semester of college and can only carve out small chunks of time per day. Thank you all SO MUCH for sticking with me and this story, even as I take an eternity to write it. It brings me so much joy to share this little fictional world with you. xoxo
*****
Mac is really tired of these stupid council meetings. 
Maybe that’s why the FBI passed this op to the Phoenix. Because they somehow knew it would be so goddamn boring. 
So boring, in fact, that Mac lets every word said during the hour-long meeting float in one ear and out the other. He avoids thinking about the inevitable scolding he’ll receive from Riley when he can’t relay any of the information shared today. 
Riley. Now there’s someone he does want to pay attention to. 
While he’s stuck in this meeting, in a stationary chair with nothing to fidget with, Riley is off getting her nails done. They need to look nice for this weekend, she claimed, having already made the appointment. Mac believed her then. Now he’s pretty sure it was just an excuse to ditch the meeting. 
Gleaning anything useful from this snoozefest is a lost cause, so Mac lets his mind play back moments from this morning with aching clarity. He woke half freezing to death since Riley had stolen all of the covers again, leaving him with practically nothing. He yanked the covers back, nestling into their warm, fluffy heaven, but that too was cut short when Riley stole them again. Despite wanting to shove her onto the floor, which he spent several minutes seriously considering, something in Mac’s chest tightened. 
Remembering the feeling, Mac rubs his chest as Conrad drones on. And on. And on and on and on and on. 
Conrad’s stupid drawl fades into white noise. At this point, listening to the sound of his own breathing would be more enlightening than this. 
He thinks about the way Riley’s chest rose and fell, steadily and slowly, as he tucked her in before leaving. Her near silent breathing makes her the quietest person he’s ever shared a bed with, although that doesn’t negate the fact that she has the same ruthless bed-hogging habits as every girlfriend Mac has ever had. And also Jack. Especially Jack. 
Honestly, at this point he’s starting to think this is where karma draws the line and his luck runs out. No polite, acceptably warm and snuggly bedfellows for him. 
Another voice joins the (one-sided) conversation, but Mac’s relief at the break in monotony is cut short when he realizes it’s Jett, aka the only person here he likes less than Conrad. 
Jett should consider that an achievement, honestly. 
If Jack was here, he would’ve threatened to bash Jett’s head in by now, which would be very satisfying to watch. Of course, he’d go on to actually bash Mac’s head in for getting up close and personal with his daughter, which would hurt like a bitch. 
Sorry, buddy, he thinks. You’ve got to sit this one out. Matty’s orders. 
The man sitting beside Mac starts complaining about something, and Mac allows his words to morph into the tantrum Jack would throw on the rare occasion the nature of an op forced him to stay home. Listening to one of those tantrums used to piss him off to no end. But the longer time stretches since Mac heard the last one, the memory fills his chest with more warmth than annoyance. 
Unlike Conrad here, who needs to shut the hell up. 
The scrape of a metal chair on the warehouse’s concrete floor shatters Mac’s daydream and causes a hush to fall over the room. It seems Mac isn’t the only one getting a headache from listening to Conrad talk in circles. Standing, Ethan slides his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, the picture of nonchalance. A good actor. 
“Thank you all for coming today,” Ethan says, as if this were some special occasion and not the regular Wednesday morning council meeting. “I’d like to remind you that the fundraiser gala for Cody Rickshaw’s campaign is this Saturday. The party starts at 6 p.m., so I’d like to see you all there no later than 7. Dress code is black tie.” The last sentence earns scattered groans and eye-rolls, but they all show begrudging acceptance of being put on parade. Clearly aware of that, Ethan gives his men a cool smile. “I’ll see you then.” 
Dismissed, the men scatter before they can be forced to agree to anything else they don’t want to do. Mac does the same—a detail he’ll leave out of this week’s action report. 
Conrad catches him on his way out the door, and Mac has to stop himself from rolling his eyes. So much for slipping out unseen. “James, I’ve got a quick question for you,” Conrad drawls. 
Mac plasters on his best business face. “Shoot.” Conrad doesn’t catch the pun. If Riley was here, she would’ve laughed. 
“Do you do explosives?” Conrad asks bluntly. 
Not expecting that question, Mac’s brain stalls as he puzzles through why the hell Conrad would want a bomb. Shit, does this have something to do with the fundraiser? Three days is a tight window to build and plant a bomb, but doable. 
Mac weighs his options. He could tell Conrad ‘no’ and potentially decrease future casualties. But Conrad could very well find another bomb maker, making Mac less useful to the organization. Or Mac could say ‘yes’ and maintain his monopoly on the Patriots’ weapons supply. 
He isn’t stupid. His value only goes as far as his usefulness. 
“I do,” he says, deciding to worry about the consequences later. It’ll be fine. Or maybe this is a huge mistake. He doesn’t know. He wishes Riley was here to be the voice of reason. 
He’s careful not to let any of that show on his face. He can hide his trepidation so long as Conrad doesn’t question him, which thankfully, he doesn’t. 
Conrad lowers his voice before asking, “How much would it cost me for something that could level a building?” 
Holy shit. Holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit. 
Mac slides his hands into his pockets to hide the shaking. Hopefully all Conrad sees is nonchalance. “More than the guns,” he answers calmly. Conrad whistles. The first shipment of guns alone had cost an outrageous amount of money. How the Patriots acquired that sort of funding was beyond Mac, but he wasn’t about to question it before the wire transfer was complete. Now, however…
The lump sums migrating in and out of the Patriots’ bank accounts continue to plague Mac’s thoughts. Where the hell are they getting this much money from? 
“I think we can make that work,” Conrad replies, surprising Mac. “Ethan and I need to talk it over a bit more, but we’ll come to you next week with a formal request.” 
“Alright.” It’s risky, but Mac adds, “If you clue me in to what you’re planning, I’ll be able to make better suggestions.” He takes it all back. This op is not boring, and he’ll never even think such a thing again in order to avoid jinxing future ops. He always made fun of Jack for being superstitious, but dammit sometimes that bastard was right. 
Conrad smiles knowingly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
*****
The apartment is quiet when Mac returns, which means Riley is still out getting her nails done. Honestly, it’s fine by him, since it means he now has uninterrupted time to puzzle through what building Conrad and Ethan want to blow up. 
The problem is that he doesn’t have a damn clue. 
Houston is a big city, and the Patriots could want to level any number of buildings here. But then again, their target might be in a different city altogether. Which begs the question, how far is the Patriots’ reach? 
The FBI intel said they’re nothing more than a grassroots startup, but if they’re really that small, then why did the Phoenix get called in to deal with it? The Phoenix solves crises in progress, not future problems; they’re the “Big Guns,” as the long-time tac team guys like to call him and Riley. 
So if he’s the Big Guns, then why is he getting paid to sit on his ass? The jurisdiction politics just don’t line up. 
Scratch that. None of it lines up. 
Harley trots out of the bedroom, and Mac drops to his knees to greet her. It’s routine at this point—a good scratch behind both ears and a kiss on the forehead. Breathing her in, Mac wrinkles his nose. “You stink,” he informs her. 
He should probably call Matty and Bozer to fill them in on the bomb thing, but until he learns more next week, they’ll just be harassing him for information he doesn’t have. They can wait, Mac decides. At least until he tells Riley. 
Which means he has plenty of time to give Harley a bath. 
Brushing her is already a hassle, so Mac can only imagine how much getting her into the tub is going to suck. Grabbing the peanut butter and a spoon, he lures his already-suspicious dog into the bathroom, shutting the door halfway behind them. 
He sets the peanut butter jar on top of the toilet and starts unbuttoning his pants, because Harley always headbutts the back of his knees while he’s trying to pee. As long as she’s occupied, Mac can shut the door faster than she can escape. Or at least he hopes so. 
Harley falls right into his trap. 
She aims straight for his knees, and as soon as she makes contact, Mac throws the peanut butter at the door. The plastic jar collides with a bang, shutting the door and trapping Harley inside. Mac smirks at her, gloating, “I win.” Her head whips back and forth between him and the closed door. 
Now that he has her trapped in here, how hard could this be? 
Step one: re-button pants. Step two: bathe dog. Simple. 
Harley backs into the corner, eyeing Mac suspiciously, but he ignores her, instead getting to work smearing peanut butter along the inside rim of the tub. Lucky for him, it’s the kind of tub that’s also a shower, and it has a removable showerhead. In no universe would Harley wait patiently while someone dumps water over her with a bowl. 
After a staring contest, a wrestling match, and quite a bit of pleading from both sides, Harley is in the tub and drenched in water, and for that matter, so is Mac. While she’s distracted by the peanut butter, Mac works shampoo into her thick coat. For now, at least, the battle is over; Harley doesn’t seem to care as Mac scrubs her back, head, belly, legs, and even between her buttcheeks. 
Mac doesn’t question his luck. Especially not when the peanut butter runs out before he’s finished. 
“Just your tail, and then we’re done,” he tells her. 
What the little information they had on Harley’s past failed to mention is that Harley hates her tail being touched and, as Mac quickly discovers, will go to great lengths to avoid it. Too slippery to hold, she flops across the tub like a fish out of water, tail tucked and her butt to the wall. Mac keeps reaching, and Harley keeps squirming. He curses under his breath. 
There’s a gentle knock on the bathroom door, and Mac jumps in surprise, accidentally knocking over the shampoo bottle. It hits the tub floor with an echoing thud. 
“Everything okay in there?” Riley’s voice is muffled by the wood. 
“Yeah. I’m trying to bathe the damn dog, but—” he grunts, using his body to block Harley from jumping out of the tub— “it’s not going well.” 
The door cracks open, and soft laughter fills the tiny room. Riley asks, “Want help?” 
“Please,” he begs. Harley likes Riley better anyway. Maybe she’ll cooperate with her. Closing the door behind her, Riley kneels on the floor beside Mac and pours a dollop of shampoo into her palm. 
She instructs, “You hold. I’ll scrub.” 
Harley doesn’t stand a chance with both of them there. Her tail gets scrubbed. Thoroughly. 
Reaching for the showerhead, Riley says, “You’ll never guess who I was seated next to at the nail place.” 
“Who?”
“Carrie Ann.” 
Mac feels sorry for her already. “How’d that go?” Harley wiggles in his arms, and he tightens his grip. 
“Honestly? We had a good time. She’s like a nosey but well-meaning aunt. Once I dodged all the too-personal questions, she was actually kind of cool.” 
Cool isn’t a word Mac would ever use to describe Carrie Ann, but if Riley, of all people, could learn to like her… Maybe she isn’t so bad after all. But only maybe. 
“Nice,” Mac says. While they’re on the subject, he asks, “What color did you get?” 
Riley blinks, taken aback. “You care?” 
“Isn’t that the question I’m supposed to ask? Because if you report back that I’m a terrible fake-husband, Matty will definitely put it on my permanent record.” That earns him a genuine laugh, low and melodic. A soft smile lingers on her face afterward, and Mac wishes he had his phone so he could take a picture and keep her expression with him forever. 
“You’re not a terrible fake-husband. And I got metallic dark blue.” She holds out her free hand for him to examine, then her bare foot. “My toes match.” 
There it is again—that comforting wave of domesticity. He sees these moments so clearly sometimes, timestamped with a future date and slightly altered. Moments just like this—him and his wife sitting on the bathroom floor, soapy and soaking wet, in the middle of a disastrous attempt to bathe the dog. Not for the first time, Mac feels like he’s looking through a window to what could be the rest of his life. 
“Looks nice,” he says. 
As they finish rinsing Harley, Riley accidentally sprays him with the showerhead. Well, the first time might’ve been an accident, but after the second, Mac isn’t so sure. 
By the third time, Mac knows it’s intentional. 
“Watch where you’re aiming that thing,” he warns. Riley just smirks. 
“Did I spray you? My bad.” She doesn’t sound sorry. Not in the slightest. 
Before she can spray him a fourth time, Mac tries to yank the showerhead from her hand, snarling, “Give me that.” Riley’s grip is stronger than he expects, and they end up clamoring over one another in the wettest-ever game of keep-away. Mac never manages to steal the showerhead from her entirely, but he can taste the sweetness of satisfaction—although that might just be soapy water—when he directs the spray so it hits Riley square in the chest. 
She retaliates by spraying him in the face. 
Water lands just as much outside of the tub as inside as Mac and Riley keep fighting. Sharp barking, then laughter, echoes in the small space. After Mac spectacularly loses the upper hand, Riley has him pinned to the rim of the tub with the spray pointed toward his face, and Mac’s hand isn’t big enough to block all of the water—only enough to avoid being waterboarded. Still, she pushes, victory in sight. 
He’s beyond soaked. The only thing Mac has left to fight for is his dignity, and he’s on the verge of losing that too. At least no one else is here to see him lose a fight he saw coming from a mile away. 
Jack would’ve wanted Riley to win anyway. 
Mac holds his breath. Letting go of the showerhead, warm water drowns his senses as he lunges for the shower handle. His fingers close around the cool metal, and not a moment too soon, the water shuts off. Coughing up water, Mac jokes, “We should probably leave this out of our reports.” 
Riley releases him, smirking. “Leave out the fact that you lost? Not a chance.” 
Mac groans. He should’ve seen that coming too. 
Speaking of seeing… he’d have to be blind not to notice the way Riley’s pale blue t-shirt clings to her body and is now slightly see-through. Before she can catch him staring, Mac lowers his gaze from her chest, but then he’s thinking about her thighs around his hips and how he’s dying to drag her back onto his lap—an even more dangerous train of thought—and he’s forced to slide his gaze even lower. All the way down. 
For now, the only safe place to look is the ground. 
Harley paws his back, reminding him of the whole point of this endeavor. He grabs both towels off the rack to start drying her. 
“Is that my towel?” Riley asks, frowning. 
“I’ll wash it.” 
She grumbles, “You’re lucky we have extras.” 
Once Harley is semi-dry and the towels have been laid out to soak up the water on the floor, Mac and Riley sit across from each other with Harley between them. If they let her out now, she’ll immediately jump on the bed and the couch and end up making the whole apartment smell like wet dog. 
Using their own waterlogged state as an excuse, Mac convinces Riley to stay in here with him and Harley. It’s the perfect opportunity to check in with her while her guard is still down. “How are you?” Mac asks, banishing his earlier train of thought. 
He sees her walls go up, sees it in the way her body tenses and her eyes go cold. It’s an instinctive reaction, he’s learned. Either she’ll relax and answer his question, or she’ll choose to give distant, clipped answers. Mac really hopes it’s the former. 
“I’m…” she trails off. “I’m okay. The thing with my mom got me.” Riley hugs a knee to her chest. “It was terrifying, Mac. I’m not…I’m not ready to lose another parent.” 
Mac nods. He knows that feeling all too well. He wishes he didn’t. 
“Anyway,” Riley says, changing the subject, “how are you?” 
Mac doesn’t answer right away, taking stock of his feelings about each aspect of the op. 
The Patriots and their plans make him nervous. And the fundraiser gala this weekend…that has to be more than just a fancy party, right? Not to mention Conrad’s bomb request this morning.
On top of that, living with Riley is complicated, to say the least. The problem is that it’s easy, and Mac can’t stop thinking about what his life could be like if only she loved him back, if only they were both willing to risk the relationship they already have. There’s also the problem of her being incredibly distracting, all the time. 
And last but not least: Harley. His relationship with her is so hot and cold Mac has no idea where he stands half of the time. She’s smart and seems to want affection, but the second he or Riley makes a mistake, it’s back to square one. Bonding with animals takes time, and he knows that, but still. All he wants is for Harley to realize she’s safe and loved. 
He’s not sure how to verbalize all of that, so instead he gestures to his clothes and answers, “Wet.” Riley snorts. 
“Come on. I gave you a good answer.” 
She did. Now he owes her one in return. 
Mac picks the easiest one. 
“Nervous,” he admits. “I’m still not sure we’re doing the right thing with the Patriots. Helping terrorists just feels wrong, even if it’s to ensure we take out the entire operation when we finally call in the cavalry.” Harley lays down, resting her head on Riley’s thigh, and Mac has to shove down a pang of jealousy before continuing. “After the meeting today, Conrad asked me if I could make them a bomb. No details yet; he just wanted to know if I could.” 
“What did you tell him?” Riley asks cautiously, stroking Harley’s head. Mac can’t decide whether he’s more jealous that Harley is in her lap, or of Harley being in her lap.
“I said yes. Figured it was a better option than him finding a separate bomb maker.” 
“Okay,” Riley says, and she means it. “That’s good. That’s one more variable we can control.” Mac wasn’t too sure about his decision before, but when Riley puts it that way, it makes sense. 
“Yeah.” Mac lets his eyes drift, and they land on the gray tufts of hair from Harley’s undercoat along the baseboards. That dog sheds so much, no matter how often they clean, there’s always hair everywhere. “We need to vacuum again.” 
He needs the distraction. From Riley. From the op. From all of it. He hates cleaning, but anything that keeps his hands busy also keeps his head clear, and that’s a trade Mac is always willing to make. 
“Rock, Paper, Scissors?” Riley holds out her fist. Mac does the same. 
“On shoot.” 
Mac loses. Lucky him. 
When he vacuums later that afternoon, he tracks down every piece of hair in the whole apartment, checking in every nook and cranny. Once he’s gotten all the hair, maybe the vacuum will suck down his fears about the Patriots and this weekend too.
.
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21 notes · View notes
hartigays · 3 years
Note
I’m laughing thinking about Ward going through the 5 stages of grief after learning Rafe has a boyfriend
ward cameron when rafe tells him he’s a raging homosexual:
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fic under the cut!!
the dinner table is silent, save for the noises of forks and knives clinking against porcelain.
rafe stares down at his steak, mouth watering but refusing to eat it. he has plans later, after all, and steak is not kind to his bowels, despite how delicious it may be going down.
his bowels do not need to be in a twist for what’s in store for him later.
barry would probably murder him in the front yard of his trailer - it has been a week since they’ve been able to see each other, after all. and as barry had so eloquently put it on the phone earlier, rafe needs to be prepared to be “taken down to pound town, back around, and down again”.
not like anyone at the table needs to know this, but rafe imagines he’ll get questions soon enough about his lack of enthusiasm towards his meal.
almost as if she could read his mind, rose fixes rafe with a calculating look and asks, “rafe, why aren’t you eating? that’s a perfectly good steak, i don’t want it going to waste.”
going to waste, rafe thinks with an internal snort. everything in this house goes to waste - it’s just part of living on figure eight. everything is disposable, everything is replaceable.
“rafe, eat your steak,” ward insists with a sigh, not looking up from his plate. “i’m not in the mood tonight.”
in the mood for what, rafe has no idea. ward is acting like rafe is a fussy 4-year-old who he has to constantly battle with to eat his peas, when in reality ward couldn’t give less of a shit about what rafe does or says or eats on a daily basis, so long as it’s not making the family look bad.
the thought alone has rafe gritting his teeth, glaring across the table at his sorry excuse for a father.
“i’m not hungry,” rafe lies, folding his arms across his chest.
ward sighs again, like this 2-second conversation has pained him greatly, still not looking up. “i’m not arguing with you, rafe. eat the damn steak or leave the table. no one is in the mood for your sulking.”
rafe makes a face, then rolls his eyes. “i’m not sulking. but whatever, i have to be somewhere anyway.”
he scoots his chair back, ignoring sarah eyeing him warily from the seat adjacent to his.
“be somewhere? it’s almost nine,” rose questions. she raises her brows at rafe expectantly.
rose is looking at him like the stern stepmother she pretends to be, acting like she actually gives a shit where rafe is going, when the question was really only asked to ensure that whatever rafe is doing, it won’t reflect poorly on everyone else.
never mind that rafe is nearly 20 years old and can go wherever he pleases. he’s also gotten sick of this notion that every move he makes will somehow make them all look bad and tear the family apart. despite the fact that sarah is the one who’s openly dating a pogue, one who’s basically a walking red flag.
barry may live on the cut, but at least he doesn’t brand himself the king of pogueland.
rafe narrows his eyes at rose before making a split-second decision.
“well, my boyfriend gets off work late, so yeah. i have somewhere to be at nine,” rafe says offhandedly, like it’s no big deal, like everyone already knew he was a massive fruit who’s been on his knees for his local coke dealer for the past six months.
the sounds of silverware clattering onto plates fills the room, and rafe feels ridiculously satisfied with himself for getting a reaction. he loves to see these idiots squirm.
he’d rather see them all choke on rat poison, but barry is insistent that he won’t continue fucking rafe if he goes off and kills his whole family.
barry is lucky rafe loves him, because honestly, not being allowed to murder people who irritate him is kind of a buzzkill.
“you- who- your what?” ward sputters, the first to break the heavy silence.
“my boyfriend,” rafe repeats slowly, enunciating, treating ward like he’s the stupid, petulant child he constantly claims rafe is.
rafe watches ward’s face go from pale, to pink, to violently red. there’s a set to his jaw and rafe just knows ward would give anything to leap across the table and wring rafe’s neck right this very moment.
“no, nope, absolutely not,” ward snaps, furious in his denial. “not my son. no.”
“ward- ” rose starts, but ward cuts her off with a swift wave of his hand.
“do you realize how this will look for us if anyone finds out?” ward spits, holding his fork in a white-knuckle grip.
sarah actually speaks up on rafe’s behalf, which is probably the most shocking reaction rafe has gotten so far.
“dad, come on. it’s 2021,” she says with a sigh, shaking her head. “besides, rafe being gay is probably one of the only good things about him. or, wait, are you bi? or gay?”
sarah questions rafe casually, like this information doesn’t come as any kind of shock to her. rafe makes a mental note to revisit that later, along with her comment about it being one of his only good traits. she’s looking at him almost in earnest, and for a brief moment rafe is transported back to a time when he actually liked his sister.
“not that it’s any of your business,” rafe starts, glancing at her, “but i’m gay. thanks for asking. anyway, like i said, i have somewhere to be, so- ”
“not a big deal?” ward hisses, cutting him off, clearly still stuck on sarah’s surprising defense of rafe’s sexuality. “not a big deal? sarah, it’s- no, see? no. we aren’t talking about this.”
Despite his own declaration, Ward continues, “what about all those girls? all those girls you hung around with? the ones you brought around? you know you can still have them over from time to time. i know we talked about respect and responsibility, but i suppose a man does need to let loose every now and then, and if it’ll help- ”
this time, rafe is the one to cut ward off, not in the mood for his pathetic attempt at bargaining.
“dad. dad. i’m gay,” rafe says firmly. “forget about the girls. it wasn’t what you thought.”
ward opens and closes his mouth several times, trying to form some sort of coherent response. then, he buries his face in his hands, groaning.
“why is it always something with you, rafe?” ward mumbles through his hands, sounding defeated. “can we not just have one day? one day without your life overshadowing everything we’ve worked towards?”
rafe rolls his eyes at ward’s dramatics. “how does me liking dick ruin anything for this family?”
“rafe, wheezie is right here!” rose admonishes. wheezie just chokes on her water, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes.
“sorry, wheeze,” rafe tells her, feeling only a little bad. “but i’m just saying. half the guys on figure eight go both ways. it’s seriously not a big deal.”
ward finally looks up at rafe, crossing his arms before staring for a long stretch. long enough that rafe starts to turn to go, itching to get away and back to the one person who doesn’t make him want to rip his hair out.
“fine,” ward finally says just as rafe turns on his heel. “fine. but don’t- don’t expect me to meet him. or like him. and for the love of god, don’t bring him to important events. whoever he is, he’s bound to draw attention.”
that’s very, very true. and rafe has every intention of dragging barry to the next auction or gala or what the fuck ever, clad in one of his stupid sleeveless t-shirts and basketball shorts and his hair in a messy, tangled bun - the whole nine yards.
he’s dying to see the look on ward’s face when he shows up to some black-tie event with barry the cocaine king slash dirty mechanic slash army vet in tow.
“so is that it?” rafe asks, sounding bored even to his own ears. “can i go now?”
ward still looks like he wants to slam his head through the nearest window, but he nods. accepting the truth that rafe has forcibly laid out before him, albeit reluctantly.
rafe nods back, turning and walking away with his hands stuffed in his pockets, whistling a tune that’s far too cheerful given the looks on everyone’s faces as he exits the dining room.
his favorite is ward’s, still looking angry and defeated and resigned to his acceptance of rafe’s preferences all at once. rafe hops onto his motorbike, yanking on his helmet with a smile.
barry will be proud of him, he thinks. not only did he finally come out to his family, but he also didn’t feed them rat poison during the process.
baby steps. he’s taking them one at a time, very carefully, and he thinks that’s something at least.
maybe barry will reward him for his efforts, rafe wonders, just before revving his bike to life and speeding off the property.
rafe deserves a reward, in his own personal opinion. and after all, his opinion is the only one that matters, really.
maybe barry’s, too, but only when it suits rafe. if that happens to be more often than rafe would care to admit, well. that’s between him and Jesus.
the night air is cool as it whips around him, and rafe looks forward to the warmth of barry and his shitty little trailer, not sparing a single thought about the mess he just left in his wake.
rafe presses harder on the gas, heading towards home.
123 notes · View notes
marvels-writings · 3 years
Text
Used To
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Natasha Romanoff Masterlist
Sequel: World Turned Upside Down
Requested by @trikruismybitch​ : NatxReader, 12,18,19,22,29 <-said by R, angst questions. Nat cheats on R with R’s Bestfriend (Steve or Bucky) Nat saying 44, 23<- angst questions, 26, 49 angst dialogue. Just really angsty maybe include a little confrontation with Nat, R, Steve/Bucky with the avengers witnessing it? I’m in the mood for heartbreak (:</p>
12: “Can’t you see how fucked up this is?”
18: “When did you stop loving me?”
19: “Don’t you think you’ve done enough?”
22: “Which part of me wasn’t enough?”
23: “How do I make you love me again?”
44: “How do we fix this?”
26: “Will you ever forgive me?”
49: “Will I ever see you again?”
Word Count: 6.2k (heartbreakingly good)
A/N: I loved writing this, as tiring and angsty as it was. I think this is one of the drabbles i’ve cried while apologizing and writing it. It’s really good in my opinion, please do me the honor of reading it.
Moonlight blurred with string lights, bringing you into a gradient of golden and white colors. The balcony was set up, the fairy lights adorning the open-air gazebo above you. The light shone through the glass of red wine you held, the blood-like light splattering on your hands as you played with your food.
Natasha’s voice flowed around the small balcony, bringing to light her most recent mission. Her voice the only sound throughout the entire date. It wasn’t like her to ignore your silence, yet here you were. She had spent hours decorating the roof for your date night, even longer learning to make your favorite food and serving it to you, you were almost guilty for not trying to enjoy it.
How could you when your emotions cloud your judgment? The emotions brought from weeks of observing your girlfriend and your best friend. You thought you knew Natasha would never hurt you, you almost wished she wouldn’t.
But everything seemed to be changing around you. Bucky was spending more time with Natasha than before. You could’ve sworn you saw him leave her room just before you came back from a mission. You could’ve sworn you saw the same lovesick smile she wore around you, around him.
You were just being paranoid, you almost hoped you were being paranoid, to the point where you were ignoring the signs she didn’t cover. Today, you couldn’t ignore it anymore.
Your girlfriend was wearing an off-shoulder sweatshirt, revealing a hickey on the skin there. You had been on a mission for almost a week, today was the first day you came back. The dark mark was covered heavily in foundation, it showed through the heavy attempt to cover it up.
You couldn’t take your eyes off of it for almost half an hour. Every time you tried to look away or even distract yourself for it, for a few seconds. Your eyes always came back to it.
“What’s wrong?” Natasha asked, a coy smile playing on her lips. “You’ve been quiet lately.”
You tilted your head to the side, considering lying to her, even though it might not work. Taking your eyes off her shoulder to look at her eyes, you set down your fork. The green orbs shone in the soft candlelight, almost distracting you from your turmoil. Almost.
“What?” Nat chuckled, leaning back in her seat, squirming slightly. “I know my cooking isn’t the best, but-”
“When did you stop loving me?” You cut her off, licking your lips nervously.
Your heart hammered against your chest, terrified of her response. What if you were wrong? What if nothing was going on?
Some part of you hoped you were wrong and this would just be another fight. A small voice told you that you were right, you tried desperately to ignore it. You couldn’t, especially when you saw Natasha try to cover up the hickey on her shoulder. It only resulted in smudging the makeup, revealing it more as the cloth slid back.
“I didn’t,” Natasha stated, her brows furrowing in confusion as she leaned forwards into her chair. Her eyes bored into yours, almost asking you why you were upset.
“Then what is this?” You asked, leaning forwards, fingers reaching towards the mark on her shoulder.
 Your hand had barely moved forwards when your girlfriend pulled away. Natasha glanced to the mark before turning towards you. Her face wove itself into a mask, hiding anything she was feeling.
“I, this isn’t.” Natasha stuttered, falling silent when she saw the expression on your face. 
It wasn’t an expression she had seen before. Your lips were pursed tightly, the bags under your eyes seeming more prominent than ever. But your eyes, she wasn’t sure she had ever seen then so despondent.
“How long?” You asked quietly, clearing your throat as your voice trembled. You didn’t want to show how upset you were, not yet. She was barely showing any emotion, you wanted to try to do the same.
“What?” Natasha asked, unsure if she heard you correctly. Her hand inched towards yours on the table, almost flinching when you drew away suddenly.
“How long have you and Bucky been…” You trailed off, you couldn’t say it.
Maybe if you said it, it would become more clear than it is now. Even now, Natasha could deny everything, keeping reality away from you. You weren’t sure if you could handle this reality, starting to prefer if you hadn’t noticed anything.
“Not that long.”
Her mouth opened to speak again, maybe try to make excuses or try to get you to forgive her. You didn’t care, cutting off her lies before she could speak again.
“Don’t lie to me.” You hissed, face morphing into anger as you stared her down. The redhead flinched at your harsh tone, unfamiliar to having it used on her.
Natasha licked her lips, her fingers inching towards the mark to try to cover it up again. It would still be too late, she couldn’t hide the signs once they had been noticed, she couldn’t fix what she broke.
You waited for her to say anything, to tell the truth, to explain why she did this. Nothing, she didn’t speak at all. Her eyes bored into yours as if she was trying to beg you to forgive her with her eyes. You barely noticed when her hand inched towards yours again, her fingers touching yours.
You almost let yourself back into her again.
“I’m sorry, y/n,” Natasha whispered, her thumb drawing patterns on the back of your hand before you quickly drew away. Your thumb rubbed the back of your hand, trying to wipe away the feeling of her touch.
“Sorry?” You scoffed, gesturing vaguely around you. “You think you can just say you’re sorry and that would fix this?”
Natasha hesitated, emotions beginning to leak through her meticulously kept mask. The regret flooding off of her in waves. But underneath it all, you thought you could see a thread of fear. Fear of losing you.
“How do we fix this?” The redhead asked, leaning forwards in her seat. Wincing when she spoke the wrong word. Your eyebrow raised in anger.
“We?” You asked, eyebrow still raised as your arms crossed above your chest. 
Your jaw clenched tightly, muscles tensing as you tried desperately to form some sort of mask. It got harder as you spoke, your voice trembling as tears began to gather in your eyes.
“Natasha, I don’t think you can fix this.” You muttered, hoping you were wrong. 
But there was nothing she could do. The mistake had been made. You had to live with it, even though you wanted to leave it behind.
“You broke everything we had.” You muttered, a tear slipping down your cheek. It looked like liquid gold because of the lighting.
You inhaled sharply when you saw the redhead reach forwards to wipe away your tear. Leaning backward, you almost fell out of your chair when you stood up abruptly. Footsteps neared the door as you tried to leave this mess.
You heard Natasha’s chair clatter to the floor when she stood up to chase after you. Her footsteps barely behind you as she followed you out. More tears began to stream down your face, dropping on the ground below you.
The door slammed shut behind you, leaving Natasha outside. It wasn’t locked, she could follow you if you wanted to. Though, you doubted she would.
You leaned your back against the door, breathing heavily as tears soaked your cheeks. You didn’t know what you were supposed to do. Should you leave? Wait for her in your room? But you couldn’t go back to the same bed where she had forgotten you.
A heavy sigh left your lips as you went in search of someone you could trust.
————
The loud bang of the balcony door was accompanied by rapid footsteps nearing your door. Wanda looked up from her bed, frowning in concern. Pictures were spread out on her bed as she tried to sort through them, wanting to make a photo album.
She expected to hear the sound of your bedroom door slamming shut. It was usually what happened after you fought with Natasha. This time, it didn’t happen.
Waves of anger and despair hit her as the footsteps neared your door. The slam still didn’t sound, she decided you might be waiting for someone. She bit her lip, nervously walking towards her closed door to open it.
The door handle twisted slowly before revealing you. 
You stood in front of her door, your hand raised as if you were just about to knock. Tears stained your face, your eyes still glistening with them. Your hair was messy as if you’d been running your hands through it. Your hand dropped as she opened the door, your fingers wringing together as you glanced down.
“Y/n, what happened?” Wanda asked, opening the door a little wider. Her brows furrowed in concern as you avoided eye contact with her. Your entire body seemed to be shivering despite the warmth inside.
“Can I, can I come in?” You stuttered, shivering a little more. The witch nodded and let go of the door. But you didn’t seem to notice the gesture, your eyes vacant as you watched her.
“Of course.” She stated, stepping back to give you room to step in. The witch glanced around outside, incase Natasha was behind you. She spotted her red hair, glancing towards your girlfriend as she began to close the door.
Green eyes stared at the witch as she closed the door. It shut with a soft click, Wanda licked her lips nervously. Guilt rolled off Natasha in waves, the witch could almost hear her thoughts through the door. 
Shutting her off, she sighed and turned towards you.
You stood near her bed uncomfortably, glancing towards the pictures. Your eyes seemed to linger on the pictures of you with Natasha, more tears beginning to form in your eyes. Your lip slid in between your teeth, watching the images before turning back around to face Wanda.
“What’s wrong?” She asked, gesturing to the bed for you to sit.
Hesitantly, you sat down, not before moving away the pictures laying there. One of the pictures were when you had celebrate your second anniversary with Natasha, Wanda was posing behind both of you as you took a picture.
 Your fingers ran over your happy smiles with an air of nostalgia.
“It’s Nat, she,” You bit your lip harder, willing the tears to stop flowing.
 They spilled forth anyway, a drop of blood staining your lip from where you were biting it so hard. Letting your lip loose, more tears spilled forth. A sob wrenched its way from your throat as you hunched over, eyes stinging.
Wanda sat down in front of you, one of her hands resting on your knee. She tried to look at you, looking up at you to see your face. Your hands covered your face in a hasty attempt to hide your mess. Your back shook sporadically as you shivered, your body wracked with sobs.
Red wisps caught your eye, you glanced towards it before turning to look up at Wanda. Her hand gestured towards your head. She looked at you innocently, hoping you would let her see what had happened.
It wasn’t the first time Wanda had asked. 
You had come to her many times with nightmares or something that left you broken. She helped you with her powers, using them to help you instead of harming others. You trusted her completely, more than Natasha.
You nodded weakly, trying to bring the argument to the front of your mind. The images began to play through, the hickey on her shoulder, Bucky leaving the room once you came back from a mission, the looks they shared. All of it came to the front of your mind.
Wanda looked slightly confused, unsure of what was happening as she probed further. You tried to conjure an image of them in the act. But you couldn’t, more tears began to fall from your eyes as you tried to clear your mind.
But one image kept showing, no matter what. The same smile Natasha always wore when she told you she loved you. Her lies kept coming back to you.
Wanda’s eyes widened as red wisps stopped flowing between her fingers. Her eyes bored into yours, emotions running through her. The main one being shock.
“She, oh my god,” Wanda stuttered, unable to believe it.
Your relationship with Natasha was the strongest she had seen. You had plans for the future, promises to get through everything together. All of it made you what you were. For Natasha to tear that all down for a few nights of sex, she couldn’t wrap her mind around it.
By the looks of it, neither could you.
“y/n, I’m so sorry.” She whispered though a part of her knew it wouldn’t help. Her hand rested on top of yours comfortingly, trying to provide whatever support she could.
You nodded staring down at her hand nervously. Tears fell from your eyes, streaming down to your shirt and soaking it. Your lips pursed together before you drew your hand away from Wanda’s.
The witch let the silence settle over you, waiting for you to speak. There was nothing she could do, nothing she could say to make this go away. She stayed silent, hoping you would speak eventually. Though, a part of her hoped you wouldn’t say anything, instead seeking comfort in the silence.
“Why?” You asked, voice cracking as you spoke. You bit your lip tightly, trying to steady yourself. Taking in a deep breath, you turned to face Wanda.
Her heart broke a little seeing you like this. Your eyes were turning red and puffy, tears still falling from them. You looked at her with so much pain in your eyes, like you’d watched something die.
In a way you had.
“Why the fuck did she do this?” You asked again, your voice steadier than last time. It still broke slightly as you leaned back against the headboard. Your jaw clenched as you waited for the witch to answer.
You didn’t know what you expected her to answer. Maybe she would tell you it was a mistake, or this was just a bad dream you needed to wake up from. 
Part of you hoped for that last reason, almost clinging onto it like a lifeline.
“I don’t know,” Wanda whispered, shattering the last of your hopes.
You licked your lips, tasting the salt from your tears, remembering how Natasha used to wipe them away. You could feel the ghost of her touch her thumbs running over your cheeks as you cried. 
Her comfort after you had a nightmare. 
Her lips on your skin as she drew you out of your mind’s hell.
You wiped your face angrily, trying to wipe away the ghost of her touch. The last thing you wanted was to be seeking comfort from the same woman who broke you. Turning to Wanda, you saw the gears turning in her head as she tried to come up with a solution.
“Maybe you can still work this out?” Wanda suggested timidly, cowering slightly.
You huffed, running one hand through your hair as you stood up. Voice caught in your throat, you coughed before speaking. The witch moved away from you, knowing she had said what you didn’t want to hear.
“Wanda, I don’t think…” You trailed off, palms digging into your eyes to stop the tears from flowing. 
A broken groan escaped you, the pain worsening. Your chest tightening as your arms fell to your sides. You gave up, a sigh leaving your lips as you stared down at her.
“Can’t you see how fucked up this is?” You asked, eyebrows furrowing. It was as if you were begging her to see your point of view. 
Wanda winced as she shook her head, waiting for you to explain. You almost didn’t want to, scared of narrating your worst nightmare.
“I wasn’t enough for the only person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.” You muttered, jaw clenching shut tightly.
Memories came back to you, memories of talking to Natasha about your dreams. Everything you wanted to do later, from the small cabin on the lakeside, to what you wanted to name your children. 
All of your plans, even to the small outdoor wedding you had planned. 
All of the things you wanted to do with her, gone.
“And Bucky, of all people,” You sighed, running one hand through your hair, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. Deflating, you sighed as your anger began to leave you. An empty feeling taking it’s place as tears continued to stream once more.
“even if it was a stranger it wouldn’t be that bad.” You said, another heavy sigh leaving your lips as you set your hands onto your lap. You leaned backward, laying down on the bed, fidgeting with your fingers as the witch watched you.
Bucky is, no, was your best friend. He had helped you through your hardest of places, you’d helped him once he came back from HYDRA. He was the person you wanted to go to after a long day to rant about, the person you trusted most.
 It was almost ironic that he did this.
“When, when you and Vision broke up, how did you cope?” You asked, turning to face Wanda. 
Her lips were pursed, she wanted to keep the answer to herself. You had been there when the breakup had happened, you had seen how miserable she was. But she pilled through it in a matter of months.
“Y/n…” Wanda trailed off, not wanting to answer. She wasn’t sure if you were going to break up with Natasha, she almost hoped you wouldn’t.
“Please?” You asked again, watching her carefully. Wanda caved with a heavy sigh, avoiding eye contact with you as she spoke.
“I had a few one night stands.” She confessed, glancing up at your. “Then I left for a month, to take a break from everything.”
You huffed in frustration, her answer wasn’t something you had hoped for. If it was something you wanted to do, you would’ve gone for it. But one night stands, it didn’t make sense. 
Leaving everything, that seemed a better option, even though it shouldn’t.
Wanda watched you carefully, seeing what you were going to do. She could see you weren’t going to do what she did. But you might leave, she couldn’t blame you if you did.
“You’re not the kind of person for one night stands,” Wanda stated, her jaw clenching as she noticed your posture stiffen. You relaxed slightly as you spoke, your words more of a quiet confession than an answer.
“No,”
“But you want to hurt her the same way she hurt you.” She continued, hoping she was wrong. 
The look you gave her confirmed she was right.
Your pain was morphing into anger, wanting Natasha to feel some of the pain she was causing you. The last thing you had wanted to cause her was pain, after this, you weren’t sure what you wanted anymore.
“You didn’t need to read my mind to figure that out.” You scoffed, turning away from her towards the window. The stars shone in the sky, the clouds nearing the slowly to cover the light that remained.
“I didn’t,” Wanda whispered, almost too quietly for you to hear.
Silence filled the room again as you considered what to do next. What options were there, you could stay and try to work things out or break up with Natasha. Or you could leave, away from this giant mess she had created. You had the right to.
“Do you think I should leave? Take a break?” You asked, turning towards the witch. She shrugged, not knowing what to answer. Her knees were curled up to her chest, her chin resting comfortably on top as she watched you.
“I think you should do what’s best for yourself,” Wanda answered, truly thinking so for the first time. 
She didn’t want you to leave, but it was probably what was best for you.
You chuckled sadly, wiping away the tear stains on your face. A hand-wound itself in your hair as you smiled again. Your eyes glazed over as memories continued to filter through your head.
“You know, I used to think that Natasha was the best thing that happened to me, the best thing for me.” You turned to face Wadna, silent tears streaming down your face. 
They rolled off your cheek and into the blanket below you, creating small stains. Your words stung you, a crushing feeling in your chest as you continued speaking.
“That being with her was all I would ever need.” You continued, feeling the air leave your lungs as you remembered the feeling. The feeling of looking at her and thinking, almost knowing that this was all you needed for the rest of your life.
Natasha was all you had needed.
“I used to think she felt the same.” You muttered, turning to face the ceiling. Your arms felt heavier than they should be, too heavy to wipe your face. You let them remain there, licking your lips again. Aware of the pitiful green eyes watching you.
Wanda stayed silent, unsure if you were finished. Even if you were, there wasn’t much she could say. 
You opened your mouth again, closing it as you chose your words carefully. A broken chuckle left your lips as you turned on your side, propping your head on your arm.
“How foolish, I used to think she loved me.”
Your words resounded in the room, circling back to you as you spoke them. They were so tired like you’d already given up on Natasha. You’d given up on everything you had, even your plans.
Wanda watched you turn away from her to sleep. The crying had worn you out, you found some comfort in thinking your mind couldn’t come up with a nightmare worse than your reality.
There wasn’t anything she could do to comfort you. If she tried to reassure you, maybe tell you that Natasha loved you, she would be lying. 
You had already been through enough lies.
She sighed, pulling up her knees and taking a book from the nightstand. Sleep wasn’t something that would come easily to her. Your thoughts were still too loud, she did her best to try to comfort you using her powers.
Eventually, you fell into a dreamless sleep. 
One devoid of lies and Natasha, one almost better than the reality you were in.
————
Noise from the bathroom filled the room as you lay on the bed. Sunlight streamed through the open blinds into your eyes. Wanda was in the bathroom, you were alone in the small bedroom. The pictures which were there last night had been moved.
Treasuring the small moments of the morning, you avoided the events of yesterday as you hoisted yourself of the bed. 
Honestly, you weren’t sure what you were going to do. Natasha was still in the compound, waiting to talk to you. She wasn’t one to run away after fights, you were.
Rapid knocking sounded on the door. Your head snapped to the doorway, waiting for a voice to sound.
“Y/n?” Natasha called, the door muffling her concerned voice. “Please, I know you’re in there.”
You froze at hearing her voice, convincing yourself she would go away if you didn’t do anything. Soft footsteps sounded near the bathroom. Wanda stood in the doorway, hair wet from her shower as she watched you.
It was up to you to let her in. If you talked to her, what good could come out of it? Maybe the apology, maybe a plea, but nothing enough to make you stay. If you didn’t want to talk to her, you knew you could ask Wanda.
 But it wouldn’t make this go away. It would only delay the inevitable.
Licking your lips dryly, you shook your head, deciding not to talk to her. Wanda nodded to you, heading towards the door to tell her off. The lock sounded as the doorknob rattled, along with the sound of a lock being picked.
Your eyes widened slightly as the door opened. Natasha stood behind the half-open doorway. You looked away from her as she came in, jumping to your feet.
“Y/n-” Natasha began, not getting in another word as you whirled to face her.
“NO!” You shouted, finally looking at her. Her eyes were red and swollen, hair messy but she still looked like the same woman who had lied to you. You couldn’t do this, not now.
“Natasha, I don’t want to talk to you.” You stated, keeping your voice level to not scream at her. Wanda glanced at both of you, unsure what to do. You stared her down, waiting for her response.
“Please? Just let me apologize.” Natasha pleaded, wincing under your gaze. Her eyes bore into yours, looking for any sort of response. But you’d shut yourself down, adamant to not give her any reaction. though, you doubted that would last.
“Let me try to fix this.” She asked, hoping to get a response from you, hoping you would let her explain.
But you didn’t, you scoffed and raised an eyebrow. Your arms crossed over your chest confrontationally as you looked at her. Heart hammering in your chest, you tried to stop feeling. Stop feeling everything, the nostalgia of what you were, the pain of this, everything.
“Don’t you think you’ve done enough?” You asked, voice cracking as you spoke.
Natasha paused, the answer clear in itself. She had done enough, there was nothing she could do to fix this. Explaining it could only make it worse. What could she explain anyway? 
Explain why you weren’t enough for her?
You didn’t want to stay near her. It was strange, how her mistake managed to turn everything upside down. You used to think of her as your home, the only place you felt safe and protected. Now, you’d give anything to be away from her.
Shoving past her, you headed out the door. Natasha didn’t hesitate to follow you, arm reaching out when she stopped herself.
You didn’t know where you were going, storming into the common room where the rest of the team was. They glanced up at you coming in, Natasha and Wanda at your heels.
“Y/n, please stay, just-” Natasha began, reaching out for you again. You turned around at her words, close to shoving her away from you before she stepped away.
Bucky looked up at both of you guiltily while the rest of the Avengers observed. None of them knew about your fight yesterday. Natasha had kept it under wraps, hoping she could fix this before they found out.
“Why the fuck should I stay, Natasha?” You asked, voice cracking as tears began to form in your eyes.
 The whirlwind of emotions you were avoiding caught up with you. A sob choked in your throat as you glanced away from her.
“Why should I stay when everything I gave you still wasn’t enough for you?” You demanded, stepping closer to her to look her in the eye.
Natasha avoided looking at you, trying her hardest to mask her emotions. Every question you asked cracked her mask more until it began to break. The weight of her mistake was bearing down on her, nearing like a wrecking ball. She was scared it was too late to fix the wreckage.
“Why should I stay when everything we were,” You said, wiping your face hastily to clear the tears. “everything we could have been didn’t matter to you?”
You clenched your jaw tightly, unexpectant towards answers to your questions. You watched her, thinking she would lie to you again. But she didn’t, she stared down at the ground as her eyes grew watery.
Her mask finally broke.
Tears slipped down her face, dripping onto the floor, landing with the soft patter of raindrops. Showing emotion wasn’t common to her, crying was out of the question. She had rarely let you see her breakdown, let alone the rest of the team.
Silence shrouded the room in an ugly cloud. Natasha’s sobs the only sound in the room. No one dared to move, watching both of you intently. The redhead opened her mouth, closing it after as she weighed her words.
“You should stay because I love you,” Natasha whispered, her voice barely loud enough for you to hear.
You licked your lips slowly, eyes tracing the tears falling down her cheeks. A small part of you wanted to wipe them away, to never hurt her again. It was what you’d promised her after all, to never hurt her or lie to her.
It never occurred to you that she would be the one hurting you. That she would be the one who should have made that promise.
“I don’t love you anymore.” You stated, keeping your voice as flat as you could.
Natasha looked up to you, searching your face for your tell. She couldn’t see it, staring at you, desperately hoping you were lying. It was like she was searching for you, but instead of looking for the truth, she was looking for the lie.
There wasn’t one. 
You were telling her the truth.
“Not after this,” You muttered, facade breaking as you let out a sigh. Your eyes slipped to Bucky, who looked up at you. Shutting your eyes tightly, you looked away from him, unable to look him in the eye.
There wasn’t anything you could say. Your heart thudded dully in your chest, the nervousness of seeing Natasha wearing down. Now, you were just upset and angry. All you wanted was to leave.
But there was a question you needed to ask her.
“How do I make you love me again?” Natasha asked, speaking before you could. 
You sighed again, a despondent sound as you looked back up at her. Your eyes were vacant, sad like you’d given up on her.
“I don’t think you can Nat.” You whispered. A sad smile graced your lips, twisting the corners of your mouth into a broken look.
You turned around, about to leave when you remembered the question you’d been asking yourself the moment all of this began. You didn’t want to ask her, scared of the answer. But you wanted to know.
“Just tell me one thing.” You began, turning back around to face her. Natasha looked up at you hopefully, but your expression was serious, crushing her hopes easily.
“Which part of me wasn’t enough for you?”
Natasha opened her mouth but closed it after. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She should have answered something. Maybe lie to you, tell you that nothing was wrong with you. But she didn’t admit it, staying silent.
“No, I genuinely don’t understand.” You ran one hand through your hair, stepping backward. Your eyes glanced around the room.
Wanda was watching the interaction, looking at you worriedly. Steve’s face showed nothing, but his eyebrows were furrowed in anger as he looked at Natasha. You didn’t look at Bucky, you still couldn’t. He sat in your peripheral, looking from you to Natasha guiltily.
“I don’t understand how I wasn’t enough for you.” You spoke, voice wavering as tears began to form in your eyes. “I don’t understand how you slept in the same bed as me, knowing you had broken us.”
Natasha didn’t say anything.
She slept in the same bed as you, made plans with you about your future, told you she loved you. All in the same day she had cheated on you. All in the same day she decided you weren’t enough for her.
“How, how did you even sleep at night?.” You spoke, stepping forward to look into her eyes.
“In the same bed, we talked about spending the rest of our lives together, you broke us.” 
Natasha opened her mouth to speak, a strangled sound coming out. Her eyes glanced down, staring at the floor instead of you. She had never seen you this hurt. Even after missions, when you were scared and crying after a nightmare.
She hurt you more than anyone before, even though you had given her what no one had.
“Y/n, please, it was a mistake,” Natasha begged you, pleading you with her eyes. You stepped away, betrayal shining in your face as you did so. Her eyes slipped to Bucky who looked almost as guilty as she did.
“Please just,” She reached forwards to take your hand, watching you pull away quickly. 
Her eyes shut tightly in a desperate effort to stop crying. It only irritated her eyes as more tears slipped away. She looked up at you again, staring at your blank face.
“Will, you ever forgive me?” She asked, watching your facade crash into anger.
Forgiveness. After everything, after throwing away everything, she dared to ask for your forgiveness. It was almost funny how naive this situation had made her. Anger shrouded you as you looked at her.
“You don’t deserve to be forgiven.” You stated harshly, clenching your jaw tightly.
The redhead winced at your word, a broken chuckle leaving her lips as she looked up at you. She remembered when you had told her otherwise. When you had told her she deserved to be forgiven for her mistakes. 
What she had ruined would come to haunt her.
“You convinced me I deserved to be forgiven, that I deserved love,” Natasha whispered, fondly remembering your promises to her.
You remembered your reassurances as clearly as she did, maybe even clearer. Her nightmares were always more shattering than the reality. But you were always there for her, convincing her that she deserved your love.
“And you had me convinced that you loved me.” You breathed, watching the fondness fade from her face into heartbreak.
You knew she still loved you. She had told you too many times, making it a tradition more than important words. The first time she said them, it was more difficult than you had thought. After, it was almost like the words were meaningless to her.
“I believed you, I used to think you loved me.” You spoke, heartbreak resonating in your tone as you turned away.
Everyone was still watching you intently. Your entire family was watching you, the rest of the team was in the living room now. Funny, the only time you thought they would be watching you and Natasha talk like this would be at your wedding, the day you promised each other your lives. 
Now, they were watching as you broke apart.
She opened her mouth to speak. You winced, waving her off.
“Don’t, don’t say anything.” You stuttered, stepping back slightly. You didn’t want to hear her speak, her lies, or her truth. Not that you could tell the difference anymore. She closed her mouth in surprise.
“I can’t tell the difference between your lies and your truth.” You said, licking your lips nervously.
To your surprise, she didn’t say anything. Maybe she had given up on trying to fix this. You had already given up.
Looking down, you decided to leave. If you stayed, all you would get was apologies from your family and Natasha. If you stayed, nothing could come out of it. Wanda was right to take a break after her breakup. She came back stronger after it.
Maybe you would come back stronger after. You didn’t know if you ever planned to come back.
“I’m leaving, away from this mess.” You told her, looking around the rest of the room.
They were shocked, but Wanda looked like she expected it. She gave you a small nod, leaving the room quickly. The rest of them looked up at you in shock, almost stepping up to argue with you when they caught sight of a tear making its way down your cheek.
They couldn’t stop you from leaving. Not even if they wanted to.
Your eyes fell to Bucky. He looked up at you apologetically as you finally looked him in the eye. Everything was gone from your eyes, the affection you used to greet him with. He was sure his mistake would haunt him for the rest of his life. 
This was one of his biggest regrets.
“Will I, will I ever see you again?” Natasha asked timidly, hope underlining her tone. She couldn’t stop you from leaving her with her mistakes. All she could do was hope for your return. Upon seeing your expression, that seemed unlikely.
“If the entire world turns upside down, you might.” You said a halfhearted joke as you turned towards the door.
Leaving your things behind, leaving your entire family behind. There wasn’t anything here for you anymore. Her mistake had taken that away too.
Maybe in a few years, you would come back, turn this into a story to tell your friends. Tell them the story about how Natasha Romanoff loved you. The story about how you used to love her.
World Turned Upside Down
A/N: I actually wove all of them together. And everyone who made it down to here, please tell me how it is, I put a lot of time and effort into it. Comment and reblog!!!
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