#escapism and grief

[minijenn]

Keys to the Kingdom Preview

Despite Moving Anxiety and whatnot I am off and on working on the next chapter. Here’s a snippet of it, not focused on the Pooh stuff as I’m not quite there yet, but some soft bonding between Sora and Namine bc everybody can use a little of that in their lives: 

***

“Could… can you do it?” he asks, the one question she’d been dreading most of all. The fact that this is something he actually wants, something he thinks he needs, when it’s just about the last thing that will ever truly help him. “I don’t… I-I can’t keep dealing with all of this.” His tears come quickly, his hands tightly gripping his mug to the point that his claws scratch its surface. “It’s all so much–too much. Even now that Maleficent is finally gone, I-I can’t stop thinking about what she did to me… I can’t stop thinking about what the master might do to get me away from all of you. I’m so sad and scared all of the time, a-and I just… I hate it! I don’t want to be like this anymore! I just… I… please, Naminé… Just… just take it all away… please…”

Naminé is nearly on the verge of tears herself after hearing all of this. She sighs again, her hand trembling as she reaches across the table to place it overtop of Sora’s. She finally meets his gleaming golden gaze, her voice steady as she tells him the truth, knowing he deserves nothing less and wishing she could give him so much more. “I’m sorry, Sora… but… I can’t…”

“B-but… but you said-”

“I know what I said,” Naminé says, ashamed of such a rash mistake. “And… technically, I can do it, but… I shouldn’t. Vanitas was right when he said wiping your memories won’t change what’s happening to your heart. You’d still look the way you do, you’d still be under Xehanort’s power. You just… wouldn’t know why. And neither would anybody else who wants to help you. But… you know who would remember everything? The Organization would. I can’t interfere with their memories like I can for the lights. If I did this… well, it’d be just like the glamor spell Donald cast on you; nothing more than a temporary fix to a much bigger problem.”

“I don’t care!” Sora protests, rising from his seat. A few stray spikes rise with him, a testament to the anguish that Naminé knows she’s painfully ill-equipped to truly heal him from. “I know I should be happy now that I’m back here with everyone, but I’m not, I can’t be as long as I know what’s coming. But… if I’m able to forget about what’s coming, even for just a little while, maybe I finally can be.”

“You won’t be,” Naminé warns earnestly. “Trust me, Sora; messing with memories only leads to trouble. It did the last time I was forced to do this, and it definitely would if I did it again. Think about it: if the others lose their memories about what’s happening to you, then all of the progress they’ve made in trying to help you will be completely undone. We’ll be no closer to saving you than we were from the very start.”

“W-well… can’t you just erase my memories then?” Sora pleads. “The rest of them don’t have to forget, they could-”

“They do,” Naminé shakes her head. “It’s either all or nothing. That’s just how my powers work, Sora. I can’t just impact your memories alone. And even if I could… I wouldn’t. I know you think that erasing your memories would erase all of the pain you’re feeling, but… that pain would come back sooner or later, it always does. And once it does, it’d be even worse because you wouldn’t even know where it’s coming from. I want to help you, Sora, so much, but… I can’t, not like this.” She stands, a few tears finally slipping down her cheeks as she approaches him slowly, wanting to hug him, though of course, her own nerves hold her back, just as they always do. “The only thing I can do is just… be here to offer you a shoulder to cry on…”

Sora takes that shoulder almost immediately, catching Naminé off guard as he suddenly steps forward and pulls her into a tight, desperate embrace. For as surprised as she is, she gently returns it, doing what she can to provide him the comfort he’s so clearly craving right now. “Sometimes… I wish I had power over time instead of just memories,” she says quietly as she continues to let him pour his grief out. “Because if I did, then I’d go back and undo every horrible thing you’ve been through. What’s happened to you, Sora… it isn’t fair and it isn’t right. I know you might think you’ve done something wrong and that you deserve all of this, but you don’t. Someone as kind and brave and good as you should never have to suffer the way you have. But even if none of us can change the past… at least we can all try to give you a better future…”

“I don’t have a future…” Sora almost says, a miserable thought that’s been lingering at the back of his mind for quite some time now. Because by all accounts, his master has already decided his future for him, a future he doesn’t want, but has no choice but to accept. A future that he’s not even sure his friends, for as courageous and hopeful as they all might be, can even do anything to change. 

But instead of telling Naminé any of that, he pulls back, wiping a few of his tears away as he offers her a wavering, largely fake smile. “Thanks…” he says, deciding to accept her final verdict. Realizing that she’s right, in many ways, that taking away his memories wouldn’t do a thing to take away the pain that plagues him inside and out each day. “I… I’m sorry for asking.”

“It’s ok,” Naminé says warmly, patiently. “I shouldn’t have ever suggested it in the first place. I guess that’s something you and I have in common: we both tend to make some… pretty reckless decisions when we’re stressed.”

“You can say that again,” Sora says with a small, yet genuine chuckle, one that Naminé is more than happy to share with him.

#wholesome and sad are my specialties #this chapters themes are mmmm #escapism and grief #loove it #jen writes #keys to the kingdom #keys preview

[ruporas]

feast (ID in alt)

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #tw blood #im posting this so late because october escaped me Suddenly.. hello.... #i wanted to make it a photoset with this other vampire vw wip but i don't think i'm finishing it any time soon and the mood of it is #completely different anyway. also i don't think i ever shared anything about my vampire au on here !!! it's all old art by now so im shy lo #but maybe i'll do a photodump of it. long story short vash is a vampire since birth and ww is a human vampire hunter that turns during thei #travels together due to EoM experiments + getting vash to drink from him at some point. #humans turn once they get bitten but bc ww has been experimented on #& got bitten by a bunch of human turned vampires thruout his hunts he thought it wouldn't be a problem for vash to drink from him but alas. #theyre both ok though theyre traveling together definitely not hating themselves for what theyve become and feeling guilty for what theyve #done to each other. theyre completely normal about it. the biting part is really appealing to me in vampire aus so i draw it a lot but #in reality vash only drank from ww once and ww mightve done it twice under the realization he might actually die otherwise #since he wont drink from humans after being turned.... he's combatting the 5 stages of grief at all times #if this is all nonsense im sorry DMGKSDF I'M NOT good at explaining and this au came from nowhere in the depths of my mind its a mess #ruporas art

[bluestation]

i found you in the future

#robin #HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE................. #a TINY bit late but pls forgive me #egghead spoilers #isn't it so romantic that she learned about ohara's survival on the island of the future ............. #one piece #some added commentary: the little white bits can be seen as bubbles of air escaping the books #to symbolize that the lives poured into them continue to breathe on #and also the ashes of ohara thrown into the sea #so the water around robin holds death life knowledge and flowers #(callback in a way to the 'scattered in the sea are the world's grief / the world's secrets' line from my last robi drawinf) #ah and also her tears! which contain those multitudes as well #good things lay in wait 4 ohara : #'-)))

[euphorictruths]

Jiyai Li

#surreal art #hearts #neon #high #love #melting #burning #drugs #heroin #dreams #imagination #beautiful #beauty #escape #pretty #art #dark #candles #smoke #fantasy art #dreamy #artists #pink #passion #burning love #heartbreak #grief #healing

[arthursfuckinghat]

There needs to be a scientific study done on how Rockstar Games' Arthur Morgan is able to provoke the most earth shattering emotions I didn't even know I had in me

#you guys get me right #like you feel it deep in your chest #the joy the anguish the grief #it feels like words aren't enough #and I don't mean it as in “sad moment in video game makes you sad” #I mean it as in “a deep and well written moment that has been slowly building is fleshed out in a video game and I think about for weeks” #when I say I lose sleep over this game I really mean it #I spend hours just laying in bed thinking about everything that happens in arthur morgan's life #it eats at me #I'm not ashamed of how much I have cried over this game #it fucking gets to me #playing rdr2 is the best form of escapism until the story hits you like a stab in the chest but the blade just pushes in further and further #until you're left with a gaping wound #“wow michael I didn't know you were so emotional over pixels on a screen” #except those pixels were acted out and performed by real people and voiced by real people and designed to look like real people #the game's main target was historic realism emphasis on REALISM #to provoke emotions through amazing storytelling #it's okay to feel strongly about things!! #this game man #this game #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #mick squeaks #mick thinks #arthur morgan #red dead redemption 2 spoilers

[sendmyresignation]

i truly think nearly every my chem song has more than one meaning (this is true of most things) but also that many of those meanings are contradictions and thats the point because that's the heart of my chemical romance: an enterprise which is both fake shrouded costumed performed and also the most genuine thing on planet earth

#this is to say wttbp was born to be the anthem which is itself selfaware of the fact its not enough n also somehow the most important thing #like you have to have the dualities of death and grief in your mind i think to grasp that. #and that the anthem cannot full explain all of it but man. the world will never take my heart. #you dont have lines like that in a song commited to complete subversion #bc my chem have never been a band with flights of detatched 90s irony or cynicism. even at their most bleak. yknow. #like not to be too stark about it. but this is a song about death by someone whose witnessed death #by someone whose experienced deep personal grief #and by someone whose been honest about viewing death as an escape. at one point. #and all those threads are important... the idea of death as something which can feel like propaganda...... #anyway wttbp song of all time #my posts

[thatbookmate]

It is sad, of course, to forget.

But it is a lonely thing to be forgotten

-v. e. Schwab

#death quotes #grief #loss #quotes #reading aesthetic #writers on tumblr #literature #quotations #prose #numb #poetry #philosophy #quoteoftheday #writeblr #escapism #long reads #the invisible life of addie larue #yellowjackets #us #the invisible library #poems on tumblr #poetsandwriters

[mishapen-dear]

Cant sleep so im thinking about ayhalo

I think its like. one sided. qaypierre WOULD smooch that demon and take him on dates. qbad would not recognize anything as a romantic gesture. aypierre could throw a bouquet of chocolate roses at him and bad would just be like ! thank you :}

like they love each other, absolutely. they TRUST each other, to the point where i’d even say it gets in the way of bad seeing aypierre as anything more than a good friend. that’s his guy. The dude always in his corner. Friend resource label: team mate (coparent) (down to help kidnap people). bad doesnt do classic romantic relationships- all of his relationships are INCREDIBLY queer, but the closest he usually gets to what others read as romance is a classic chewtoy4chewtoy dynamic. He LOVES to fuck with people and he loves to get fucked with and if there’s a nice jawline or pretty muscles included?? huge bonus !!

he’s got something- not kinder, with aypierre? not calmer, either, but stable, maybe. pierre has proven, over and over again, that he’s on bad’s side. Spying on tubbo, encouraging bad’s pranks, the kidnapping- i can’t call it a reliable dynamic, not with how paranoid bad is, even when he trusts, but there is still a feeling of understanding that, wherever pierre’s limits are for when he cant support bad (or genuinely turn against him), it hasnt been reached yet

aypierre, on the other hand, i dont know enough about to be absolutely sure but there are some Vibes. ironically, i think hes feeling like his relationships are unreliable. max was going to have their baby, and then he wasnt, and then he left him, then max fucking died. plus whatever is happening with him and ayrobot, which probably leaves him feeling like he cant rely on Himself. like he had, if not a little crush on bad, at least some Interest in him, before. as well as several islanders. i remember the days of the Bed Threat.

but thats part of it, too? because those flings didnt have that emotional connection, and i always got the sense that he started looking for that with maximus, to Love and Be Loved rather than pure lust. To care about someone, genuinely, and be cared about in return. but he didnt get that with the flings, and We know that max was using him, but i dont know if he did, but maybe he had a feeling about it and maybe he also had a feelinf about maximus’ feelings towards bad and maybe- there’s something about that? A little push of not-spite-not-projection onto bad.

because bad IS that reliability, right now. he’s a fucking gremlin. a bastard. a prankster silly guy. he trusts aypierre and aypierre trusts him and they dont share everything but so often, when it comes down to it, it is them against the world. them in the corner, caught, aypierre shouting about kissing as a cover for their crimes while bad runs giggling away from him.

#qsmp character analysis #qsmp shipping #<- because i DO think bad would be down to ~fornicate~ #but i dont think pierre drifts into that chewtoy zone enoufh for bad to get that Obsession #theyre kidnapping and escaping buddies !! who share food and secrets and strategies !! #but bad would do the same with the other french yknow #god i could go on for YEARS about how queer qbad’s relationships can get that demon is full of LOVE and that love is QUEER #i could make an argument that even his parenting style is affected by his queerness #in the way that he takes on all required roles for the eggs and cares for them SO MUCH #and SO OBVIOUSLY #as a dad/uncle that you dont often get to see in fiction #to the point where he is still in some way seen as a mother figure #but thats a whole different post #anyway this is part-analysis and part-silly written at ass-o’ #clock in the morning #if i remember ill come back to tag the ship for filtering purposes but i dont wanna throw ‘i think its one sided and exacerbated by grief #and general yearning for love/stability in an ever changing world’ when prople are just tryin to make em kiss #i respect the kisser causers have fun yall im enjoying seeing it #god i need to sleep #ayhalo

[whyeverr]

just a lil update to say I’m continuing my semi-hiatus, and not just because we’re still buried under 3 ft of snow (we are) …

I had to say goodbye to my senior cat last week and I’ve been a fuuuuuucking trainwreck 🥲

obviously with her advanced age I knew it was a long time coming but that hasn’t made it any less painful. and as much as the sims is a comfort to me, it’s something I haven’t had the creative energy to really throw myself into just yet.

I’m still around, and I’ll be back to posting my bacc in time. just not rushing back in to anything.

please do yourself a favor and squeeze your pets with alllllll the love they can handle. we never know how long we get, but however long it’s never enough. 💗

#cw: pet loss #cw: grief #if you need me I’ll be rewatching d20 starstruck odyssey #in between junior year episode drops #and favorite episodes of new girl #hyperfixation escapism for the win

[whaliiwatching]

cozy color..

#transformers #starscream #knock out #knockscream #koss #kept freaking out n stimming over this while drawing it #i am SO HAPPY with how it turned out!!!!! #even tho the coloring process was a NIGHTMARE #just. hmngh. peace after war. star prolly escapes jail and hunkers down as far from civilization as he can #there is nothing left for him to fight for—the world he knew is long gone #maybe ko finds him while on a drive through the more rural parts of cybertron #he’s thinking the same thing #not sure what happens from there—maybe ko brings him back and they start a new life together #maybe ko stays with him in the ‘country’ #either way. love and grief. you know the drill #you can’t go home again and all #that’s way sadder than i was thinking it would be #but its hopeful dw i like happy endings

[atopvisenyashill]

imagine you are baela targaryen and you want to name your daughter after your long dead mother. your husband lets you because it’s a suitable Velaryon name. the husband that you love because he acts like your dad is acting like your dad by fucking your niece, who is the same age as your grandson. he will carry on this affair until you are both dead.

you are elaena targaryen and the only freedom you’ve ever known is with your aunt’s husband who is older than your father. when they are all dead, you marry the grandson of your lover. you want to name your daughter laena, as a way of remembering baela & alyn and everything you all put each other through. your husband agrees because you’re both half Velaryon and he likes that you share this. you are not in love but you are happy. a war breaks out and he is murdered in front his mother. you have just suggested his niece marry a prince.

you are laena velaryon 2.0 and you marry a nice man around your age and have many children. your first born doesn’t marry for a long time but when he does, he makes a match with your cousin, who had an affair with your father that emotionally wrecked your mother. a war breaks out and you watch all of your sons die one by one except the very youngest, and they call this a mercy.

you are aelinor penrose and your husband refuses to consummate your marriage and you attempt to shame him for this. a lifetime ago, your auntie elaena told you a story about her sister who did the same thing, and it got her locked up for years, but your smart, savvy auntie elaena tells your husband he can live his life as he pleases without destroying his wife, and you think of the way your auntie elaena and grandma laena can’t even look at each other anymore, and you figure maybe you got lucky.

#you are laena penrose and you are sweating bullets rn #something something can’t escape your mother’s blood #baela targaryen #elaena targaryen #laena penrose #laena velaryon #ronnel penrose #aelinor penrose #but also. family tree like a christmas wreath aksjdjdjjd these people are so inbred. #getting on my soap box #rani attempts meta #IM SORRY I CANR STOP THINKING ABOUT IT #like imagine being elaena and proposing this match as some sort of. personal atonement for blowing up your aunt’s marriage. #and then the penroses are targeted in the war BECAUSE of this match she proposes. #can you imagine. how could laena and elaena ever look each other in the eye again. #the grief would be never ending #insurmountable.

[number1villainstan]

FUUUUUCK i just realized that that shot when Mikage's standing up against the wall so that his shoes are part of the lineup of all the dead boys' shoes it's to hint at the fact that Mikage's already dead

#mikage's character arc with mamiya deals so heavily with death and dying and inevitability and trying to escape it #and then you get to the final arc and it's like. you know who else is already dead? dios. and by extension akio. #extending his life through torturing his sister but he's still *in a coffin*. akio is dead just like mikage #and can only live as he exerts an unnatural influence over the world #sucking the life out of everyone else #and he can only live through anthy holding so desperately onto the ideal prince Dios that she's willing to put up with Akio #through utena holding onto the reconstructed memory of dios showing up to save her from her grief and thus falling into his trap #through saionji holding onto the ideal of a childhood friendship with touga (a childhood now dead and gone) #through miki wishing desperately for his sunlit garden (now gone to seed and impossible to reach) #through juri being unable to let go of shiori (stuck in the past like everyone else) #anyways this has been another episode of Gray Freaking Out Over RGU's Brilliance #rgu #sku #revolutionary girl utena #shoujo kakumei utena #souji mikage #mikage souji

[almoststedytimetravel]

I've said this about Zero Escape. However, the correct way to play any mystery vn is to play it once, then watch as many different lets plays of the games you can find, kicking your feet and giggling as they slove the mystery.

#been doing this ace attorney reasently #quickest final twist I've seen someone guess is someone getting Fulbright before even starting the final investigation/trial #live to see people reach SoJ's final twist and watch them go through all the stages of grief along with Apollo #ace attorney #zero escape #aitsf #danganronpa #raincode

[grim-has-issues]

Waiting in anticipation for Escaped to release something so fucked up that I can ignore my real life emotions.

#cant wait to be upset at fiction #and it needs to be bad #like listener death bad #i need cry laughing rocking back and forth grief #i need to remember where i was when i listened to it #fucking albus york death level of fuckery #asmr roleplay #audio rp #escaped audios

[calhanx]

noose in the form of a fake world

#hfjone #artstuff #hfjone airy #hahahaha you fucking neeeeeerd #NERD ALERT NERD ALERT. LOST HIS IDENTITY BY GRIEF AND ISOLATION AND ESCAPISM.

[thatbookmate]

But a life without art, without wonder, without beautiful things she would go mad. She has gone mad.

V. E SCHWAB

#death quotes #grief #loss #quotes #reading aesthetic #writers on tumblr #literature #numb #prose #quotations #incorrect quotes #quoteoftheday #writeblr #escapism #long reads #the invisible life of addie larue #youtube #the invisible library #original poem #short poem #poetry #philosophy #annotating books #spilled thoughts #dark academia