Harry, reaching for a coffee pot: What if I put coffee in my cereal instead of milk?
Draco, taking the pot as he walks past: What if you don't?
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My Friends/Family: Hey can I see your phone? I need to look something up.
Me, closing like 80+ Ao3 Tabs as fast as I can:
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OMGGGG THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!!! Honestly though I had a heart attack when ao3 was done but we survived it!!!
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harry: my old archenemy, draco malfoy
voldemort: i thought i was your archenemy?
harry: i have a life outside of you, tom
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Hermione: Talk to him, that's what boyfriends do.
Draco: Nope. I'm gonna wait 'til I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.
Hermione: That's your plan for dealing with this?
Draco: That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have seventy-seven arguments I'm going to win that way.
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The sitchie being bullying Harry and the impies being his big fat crush on one (1) Harry Potter
Please this was so funny in my head
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Cedric: *flirts with Harry*
Draco and Crabbe: *watch them*
Crabbe: You're awfully quiet, Draco
Draco: Nobody plans a murder out loud
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Does anyone else read fics that have absolutely zero conflict? And it’s all just nice and sweet?? Because reality is just such a kick in the teeth?? No? Just me?
Like let me have my silly little guys and let them be in love with no trauma whatsoever, okay? Okay, great. Just let them be silly.
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Muggle university au! With down & out Draco.
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Auror Drarry:
~~~♤~~~
Harry: *terrified of needles* I swear to Merlin I am going to pass out right now.
Draco: Stop whining, Potter, you're fine.
Harry: I am LITERALLY bleeding to death.
Draco: They're taking one vial. You defeated the Dark Lord you can handle a needle.
Harry: You wanna swITCH ME??
Draco: *also terrified of needles*
Draco: *literally shaking*
Also Draco: Would if I could, Potter, but I wasn't the one who got himself cursed, was I?
~~~♤~~~
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