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annwrites · 4 days

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i think you needed me.

— pairing: billy hargrove x fem!reader

— type: ficlet (part of a series)

— summary: billy helps you with homework, you realize you have a crush, & yet another man enters the fold

— tags: billy trying to learn more about you, billy opening up about who he used to be

— tw: references to past sexual abuse/grooming of a minor, mentions of drugs, infidelity, implied abortion

— word count: 4,458

— a/n: going forward, this fic will be dealing in heavy material, like those referenced in the tw & more. sex scenes will be graphic & potentially triggering to some readers. putting it out there now, so some know to stop before following along any further with this post/series.

i hope this post seems okay. idk how i feel about writing billy this way. it feels ooc, bc he's so nice & mature, but he's supposed to be for this story, bc that's the kind of man reader desperately needs to lean on. idk. i think i just need to get more comfortable with characterizing him so differently than i did in my thoroughfare series.

When Billy enters the house, he finds you to his left in the living room. Or, what is now serving as a poor excuse for one. You’re on the floor, lying on your stomach atop a light blue blanket, legs in the air behind you, waving back and forth as you work on what he assumes is homework.

You glance up to him for a moment, a pencil balanced atop your upper lip which is in a pout to keep it in-place and he smirks at the sight.

He holds up a plastic bag from a hardware store. “Brought you a new doorknob.”

You drop the writing utensil. “Does that one have a lock, too?”

“It does.”

You turn back to the textbook in front of you. “Good. Now you can replace the other one that you broke.”

His lip twitches. “Yes, ma’am.”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t call me that.”

He repeats the statement yet again before heading up.

A handful of minutes later, he comes back downstairs, seating himself on the cushion-less couch. “Done.”

You look back at him over your shoulder.

He lays an arm across the back of the couch. “What? Do you want to inspect my handiwork?”

You go back to your homework. “Not really. And you’re not getting paid, either.”

He chuckles. “I’d say that’s only fair, since it needing to be replaced at all is my fault to begin with.”

Both of you grow silent then and he leans forward, squinting, trying to get a look at whatever you’re working on. “Number four is wrong.”

He leans back again.

You don’t initially respond, telling yourself that he’s just picking on you. Or that you don’t really care if your decimal is in the wrong place, but you keep glancing back to the question. You sigh loudly then and he smiles in response. “So what’s the right answer, then?”

He shrugs. “You tell me, sweetheart.”

You don’t like him calling you that yet again. Scott is the only one who gets to call you by that term of endearment. Joe had tried it once—twice, maybe—and even if he scared the shit out of you, you made it clear that he could call you by anything else but that. He’d agreed easily, since his cock had just been buried in your warm, wet mouth—close to finishing. His mind was occupied with other things at the time than arguing over meaningless nicknames. He’d given you what you wanted—agreement—and then you’d given him the same: an orgasm, which included swallowing, before his wife came home.

You look at him over your shoulder again. “Don’t ever call me that again. Got it?”

He blinks down at you for a moment, the air in the room shifting as he wonders whether you disliked that specific pet name, or pet names in general. And much more: why? “Sure.” He clears his throat. “It’s four point six seven, by the way. Your decimal is in the wrong place.”

You turn back to your paper, erasing and then correcting. You’d known you had screwed up, but had gotten so frustrated that you’d chosen to eventually move onto the next question.

“I hate math,” you mutter.

He props his other elbow up against the arm of the couch, resting his head against his fist. “It was my favorite subject, actually.”

“Can’t imagine why,” you say, filling in number five, hoping you’ve at least gotten it right. You’re sure Billy will tell you if you haven’t.

“What’s your favorite subject? You like to read, so I assume English?”

You bob your head from side-to-side for a moment. “It’s a tie between that and science.”

Ironic, he thinks. The daughter of a meth manufacturer who loves science.

Speaking of, you’d spent last night on-edge, wondering what the hell had gone through your head to think sharing such a secret with a complete stranger to be a good idea. If any of the men found out…‘being in trouble’ wouldn’t even begin to cover it.

You didn’t want to think what Joe would do to you if he found out you’d ran your mouth off to some random that wasn’t even from here, and clearly not a customer, either.

You weren’t sure that the prospect of him never getting to use you for his own personal sexual satisfaction again would be enough to save you.

Thankfully, however, the only cruiser that had shown up last night—which had still made your heart jump into your throat when you’d glanced out the screen door as your dad went out and you saw it—was Travis’. He’d just been bringing his weekly earnings by to be divvied up.

As your dad stood there counting; ensuring that everything was in-order, he’d stared at you, eyes trailing along your body.

You’d not reacted. You hardly did anymore. They all liked to look. But only a select few were allowed to touch. And he had. Twice now. Even if he was engaged. Not that being spoken-for seemed to matter much to any of them.

Joe had been married now for twenty-five years. Longer than you’d even been alive. But whenever his wife went off to visit her sister, or was to be gone majority of the day and the urge hit him…

Travis was different than him in bed, though.

Then again, they all had their own personal…styles.

Joe really liked blowjobs and demeaning dirty-talk, or taking you from behind—honestly, so long as he was fucking you in some form, he was pleased.

Travis, in the two times you’d now been together, had been more on the gentle side, almost like he was afraid of hurting you—it often made you wonder if that was how his fiancée liked it.

Rhett—in the one time you had been together a year ago—had been tender. You tried not to think about the way he had looked at you that night too much. Or the way he looked at you literally each time he was around you after. With longing, and something else you didn’t want to think about.

He knew what it had been going into it. It wasn’t your problem if he’d hoped for more. You’d been clear from the start.

Sometimes, though, you still felt guilty, knowing that it hurt him each time you slept with one of the other men, or they shared you between them, touching you right in front of him.

And then there was Scott. With him it was just…familiarity. Your bodies simply understanding one another. Wants, needs—they no longer even needed to be talked about. Once your naked skin was pressed against each other—in bed, against the wall, on the bench seat in his pickup, in his garage—it was almost like routine. A pleasant one. Like an old habit that both of you refused to kick. Not that you had any reason to.

Even if, when you fought, it left both of you fuming for days. But the making up was the good part. So, the thought of cutting things off never occurred to either of you. Not that it would last long if you even tried.

You were the only girl he’d bothered to continue carrying on with for so long.

And he was the only man you allowed to kiss you on the mouth.

That was your only rule with the rest of them: they could do, and have you do whatever they desired, but no kissing on the lips. Period.

And then you think of you breaking that rule just yesterday for someone else. But he’d been asleep, so that instance had been different. Or, that’s what you’d told yourself, at least.

You don’t even know why you had done it. Maybe to have a secret of your very own. A new one, that is. Because this house had been that, until he’d showed up.

And now you were back to pretending to be someone else for yet one more man in your life. No more letting your walls down for a few hours and just being a teenage girl with hopes and dreams—playing pretend—even if they dwindled little-by-little as time went on, and you warmed yet one more man’s bed.

He’d ripped that away from you.

You’re broken from your thoughts by Billy speaking again. “I can check your answers once you’re done. If you want.”

“Okay.”

You glance back to him over your shoulder and he meets your gaze with a raised brow. “Need help?”

You study him for a moment, then, “No.”

You turn back around. You’d just been curious as to where his eyes were currently trained at at-present. Because this moment reminds you of a similar one from three years ago, when you’d been fourteen, lying on your stomach on the living room floor, watching TV—you couldn’t even remember what had been on now.

The thing you could recall, however, was Joe sitting on the couch behind you, watching you with hooded lids. When you had turned back to him—feeling suddenly uneasy—you’d watched as he’d adjusted himself over his jeans, making sure you’d seen.

You’d felt sickly after, and hadn’t understood why.

Out of all of them, he’d always been your least-favorite. You had many reasons for that. Perhaps because he was the worst, even if he thought he was the best.

Once you’ve finished, you stand, coming to sit beside Billy, resting back on your calves as you watch him look over your paper.

You study him for a moment, noticing a bit of oil near his brow, and you lick your thumb, then reach toward him to wipe it away.

He pulls back, staring at you. “What’re you doing?”

You don’t reply. You simply clean him up, resting your palm back against your thigh. You wonder if he likes you touching him.

They usually do.

He stares at you for just a moment longer—you can swear that he blushes—before looking back to your paper. “Nine is wrong. Like, way off, kiddo.”

He hands it back to you.

You snort at the nickname, taking it from him. “What is it, then?”

He crosses his arms. “You tell me.”

This again.

You shrug, standing, bending over to put it back in your backpack—you can feel his eyes on your rear. “I can live with one wrong answer.”

He lays his head back against the couch, rolling his eyes. “The correct answer was B, not D.”

You smirk then, pulling the paper back out, quickly correcting it, then putting it away again.

“Never going to learn if I just keep telling you all the right answers.”

You turn back to him then, shrugging. “I’m used to getting what I want.”

He shakes his head lightly.

You sit down again, back pressed against the couch’s other arm, knees bent, feet pressed together in front of you. You break the silence this time.

“So, you went to Hawkins High, too?”

He nods. “Mhm.”

“What were you like? The way you are now?” It seemed to you that most men never grew out of being boys.

He smirks. “No. I was a completely different person.” He rolls his head to the side, looking at you. “Honestly, and this is just going off of a hunch, but I think you would’ve fuckin’ hated me.”

That surprises you. “Really? Why?”

He shrugs, looking up to the ceiling. “I was King Bad-Boy-Asshole. Smoking, drinking, partying, fighting, getting laid and driving a cool car. Generally acting like I didn’t give a shit about anything. Maybe a bit too concerned with my good looks. I had one hell of an ego, too; easily bruised.”

You try to picture this version of him, and for some reason, find it quite difficult to do. You’re not entirely sure that you believe him. But he seems the honest type.

“You’re right. I would’ve.”

And you would. All the guys could get cocky at times. You were used to such behavior. But when it came down to it, especially in regards to business—in whatever capacity—they all pulled their weight; did what was needed—necessary. They looked out for one another.

He smirks again. “You would’ve definitely been my type, though.”

This statement interests you. You lean in toward him. “How so?”

“Attractive, quiet, mysterious. You don’t seem to care much about what other people think. All around hard-to-get. I loved a good chase. As long as I got to break her in like a wild horse in bed at the end of it all.”

He looks at you then.

He’s only half-right about not caring for others’ opinions. Unless they were in your immediate circle, you didn’t. But if they were? You had no choice but to. They expected that from you—you caring about what they do, say, and think. Men like to feel good about themselves, and a supportive young woman is one way to get that validation that they all seem to crave, even if they’d never admit it.

You’d learned long ago to never emasculate them. Any of them. In any form.

“You’re not breaking anything.” You only half mean it. You still think him quite attractive, if nothing else.

It pleases you to hear that he thinks the same of you. Even if you’re not surprised by it.

“Didn’t say I was,” he replies, crossing his arms.

You cock your head to the side. “So, why change?”

“Once my dad kicked me out, real-life hit, and I knew it was time to grow the hell up; the time for games was over. The attitude I had was never going to get me very far.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then he speaks again. “What do you think of me as I am now?”

You shrug. “You’re okay so far. Definitely still a pretty boy, though.”

He scoffs. “Would a pretty boy have hands like these?” He asks, holding his palms up briefly, before settling them against his thighs.

“I was referring to your face, not your hands.”

He chews the inside of his cheek. “Yeah, well, I’m not that.”

Seems like your comment, for whatever reason, has hit a nerve. “Whatever you say, pretty boy.”

He reaches over, grabbing one of your feet, like yesterday, and tugging your sock off, balling it up, and tossing it across the room before massaging the sole.

“Do you have a foot fetish or something?”

His lip twitches in amusement. “No reason why it can’t benefit you.”

You raise a questioning brow.

He shakes his head. “No, I don’t. It’s called being nice. You should try it some time.”

You slide down the couch, settling your other foot in his lap as well. “Oh, I can be very nice. To the right people. Honestly, you probably wouldn’t even recognize me if you saw me with them.”

You stare down at your hands in your lap then.

The latter-most statement had come off as a tad…sad to him. “Why?”

You look at him. “It’s a long story.”

He shrugs, taking your other foot in his rough hands. “No place else to be.”

You glance to the watch on your wrist, knowing Travis is apparently bringing by another cop today to get him dealt-in on the business. He’d asked last night if you’d be there today. You’d said maybe. Meaning that you don’t have to leave.

He looks at your watch as well, then at you. “Do you?”

Your eyes meet his. “Not technically.”

Ever the enigma to him. Never a straight-forward answer with you. You kept him on his toes and guessing, that much was for certain.

“Are you always this cryptic?”

You shrug. “Trust is earned.”

“Trusted me well enough yesterday.”

You glance to him from under your lashes. “I should’ve never told you any of that. It was a mistake. A stupid thing to do.”

His thumbs move to the ball of your foot. “You don’t need to worry. Your secret is safe with me. Besides, I already told you I don’t have any friends. So, who would I have to tell?”

It’s just a general feeling—same as it was yesterday—that he can be trusted. And that’s an unusual occurrence for you. To meet someone like that.

Like him.

He rolls his head to the side, looking at you.

The warmth in his eyes…it’s not often you see such a sight.

“So, who are ‘the right people’, then? Classmates? Boyfriend?”

You cross your arms, shifting uncomfortably. “Family friends.”

He hums, moving his hands back to your other foot. “Why aren’t you with them now?”

“Are you always this nosy?”

He smirks, moving his fingers to your ankle. “Told you yesterday that I only have a few dozen questions to ask. That I find you fascinating.”

“And what do I get for answering?”

His lip twitches. “Helped you with your homework, didn’t I? Sounds like a give-and-take to me.”

“I was doing just fine before you came along.”

He rests the crook of his neck back against the couch. “I think you needed me.”

“Sounds to me like you still have one hell of an ego.”

He chuckles. “Never said I didn’t, honey.”

You glance to your watch again and sigh.

He looks at you, moving his fingers back to your foot, which you then remove from his lap, standing.

You head across the room to retrieve your sock.

He sits up. “Are you leaving?”

You pad back over to your shoes. “Mhm.”

He’s quiet for a moment, thinking. “Want me to give you a ride home?”

You look up to him after slipping them both on. A strange man bringing you home—especially if Scott or Joe were there, or your dad was in a mood—is most certainly a bad idea.

Even at that, with Travis…things were still new and blooming. You knew he felt special—since the rest of them you’d known for years and years—and taking a new guy to bed so soon had made him believe there was something different about him for you. Seeing you with an unfamiliar, like Billy, would only give him doubt.

“No, thanks. I like walking.”

You pull your backpack on and he stands then.

“Will I see you tomorrow?”

You shrug. Normally, you didn’t come here on the weekends to begin with. But you’d procrastinated your math homework yesterday in favor of reading instead. And then had used the unfinished assignment as an excuse to come back today.

You wonder if he always works weekends as well.

He takes a step closer to you, floorboards creaking.

You stare up at him. “Will you be here tomorrow?”

He smiles. “If you want me to be.”

You don’t entirely know what to say to that. “Do you not have work?”

“I don’t work Sundays. And I only work every-other Saturday. It’s the only reason I’m out here today.”

So next weekend you’d have this place all to yourself from the sounds of it. You now had something to look forward to.

You step past him. “And here I thought you came for me.”

He laughs. “Now who has an ego?”

Once the two of you are on the front porch—you really wanted to begin trying to fix this place up, even just a little; perhaps the furniture upstairs could be put to use—you turn back to him. “What I’m doing tomorrow depends on today. Make of that what you will.”

If Travis’ fiancée was to be at work all night, you knew where you’d be this evening. And if you felt wore-out from it come tomorrow, you most likely would hold off on coming back until Monday after school.

Billy raises a brow. “Think I need more details to make anything of it.”

You stand on tiptoes then and press a soft kiss to his cheek, just like yesterday. Once you’re standing on flat feet again, you look up to him with a smile. “Bye.”

He’s blushing again now—you think it sweet that he’s still capable of doing so; the last man who you’d made blush was Rhett, and that was quite some time ago—and you turn, heading through the field to your right without another word.

Billy shakes his head. “What the fuck have I gotten myself into?”

When you come into the yard, you don’t falter in your steps when you catch sight of Travis and his friend leaned back against Travis’ cruiser—another parked behind it—as they speak to your dad.

You merely glance to them, and the new one—he’s perhaps forty, tall, with dark hair and tanned skin, his strong jawline covered in stubble—looks to you with dark eyes for just a moment. His demeanor is cold, hard, distant. Already he unsettles you.

He breaks the staring contest when he looks back to your dad as you head up the front steps, going inside.

You head to your room, softly shutting the door behind you and slipping off your backpack, setting it on the floor before flopping down face-first on your bed. You smile softly to yourself when you think of Billy’s hands on your feet—such an un-intimate part of the body that he’d made feel the very opposite—and the way he’d blushed when your lips pressed against his warm skin.

You had a crush.

The last time you’d felt such a thing was when you first set eyes upon Scott at eight-years-old. It was now a foreign feeling to you, but nevertheless felt…good. It made you giddy, warm, excited. You bury your face in your pillow and softly squeal, kicking your feet. You should’ve told him yes to tomorrow. You wanted to see him again. You wanted to see him every day.

At what was now your place. You still somewhat wish he’d never found it, but he seemed nice enough so far. Different. And he clearly likes you.

But he liked hard-to-get, had said as much out loud. Most men did.

It was always a careful, delicate balancing act upon a high tightrope you were forced to walk day-in and day-out. Glances and soft touches, giggles and flirtatious comments, precise body-language that could be easily construed one way or the other. But never so distant that it left them frustrated or wholly uncertain of your feelings toward them.

They always needed to believe they were the ones in control. That you might think you know what you’re doing, but in reality, they always have the upper-hand. That they know how to play the game far better than you ever could. Because you’re just a girl. Some pretty, empty-headed doll or sex-toy, while they rule the world. That you need them.

You’re broken from thoughts of golden curls, pretty eyes, and handsome smiles by a knock at your bedroom door.

You groan. Travis. You’re sure it’s him.

You turn onto your side, snuggling the pillow under your head. “Yes?”

When the door opens, you’re proven correct. He leans his tall, broad form against the doorway, crossing his arms. You notice his typically short dirty-blond hair is just a tad shorter today—he’d gotten a haircut. He’s wearing a gray t-shirt, which just says ‘HPD’ on the front, and jeans. At least he’d bothered taking his shoes off first—they all know how you hate them walking through the house with them on.

He gives you a small, soft smile. “Where you been all day?”

You shrug.

He hangs his head, shaking it with a smirk and a small chuckle before looking to you again. “Should come outside and meet Cyrus. I’ve told him a lot about you.”

That translated to: I tell him the things we do when Amy is away at work, and he’s interested in also getting to know you on such a level.

Honestly, you’re a bit surprised he would do so. He’d made a ‘joke’ the last time you two had had sex last week, asking ‘how to get you all to himself’. You’d told him that that’s not how things work around here. If some newbie—a cop in particular—came along and demanded you all to himself suddenly…it would not end well for him.

You sit up then, on the edge of the bed, and just stare up at him.

He glances around your room, then back to you. “She’s out tonight, pulling a double at the hospital. You could come over. I’ll even make you dinner. Spaghetti?”

Having dinner made for you was also different. It was the other way around with the rest of them. But he’s still new at this. Trying to woo you, even if it’s completely unnecessary. You don’t need presents to get you to spread your legs for him.

You doing so easily and willingly is a pivotal part in all of this—your role to play; cross to bear. It was one more thing that kept them all coming back—kept them working with your dad, even if he’s unaware of it. You think sometimes he suspects—he’d nearly caught you and Scott once on your bedroom floor—but he says nothing of it if he does indeed know anything.

If you ever stopped—decided to start telling any of them no—they wouldn’t take kindly to it. They saw you as something they were entitled to, something that belonged to them. And even if they accepted that: you wanting to stop—albeit reluctantly—the business would fall apart.

Having an attractive young woman to fuck whenever, and however they pleased for free with minimal effort put into your so-called ‘relationship’ was something they wouldn’t be getting anywhere else.

You don’t come home covered in bruises or crying, and haven’t gotten…well, as of two weeks ago you could no longer say that. That was the day you’d found the house. You’d never needed it more than in that moment after getting out of Joe’s truck a nervous wreck after leaving the clinic.

But because you always seemed fine, your dad let it go. Sometimes you wish he wouldn’t.

You cock your head to the side. “It’ll be just us?” Will your buddy be there, too? You’re asking.

He smiles again, nodding. “Yeah, baby, just us.”

“Okay.”

He grins. “I can take you home with me when I’m getting ready to leave?”

You stand, readying an overnight bag, incase you need it. “Just let me know when you’re ready to go.”

He comes closer to you, wrapping an arm around your waist, his other hand tugging gently at the hair at the nape of your neck, easing your head back, his lips coming down to settle over your pulse. He kisses, other hand squeezing your rear and he groans. You feel him pressing into your stomach then, hard and firm.

“I will,” he mutters against your skin, sucking on it for just a moment before stepping back. He winks at you before heading back outside.

You simply roll your eyes once he’s out-of-sight.

#fic: stranger things (billy hargrove x reader)#billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove x you #stranger things x reader #stranger things x y/n #stranger things x you

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streamafterlaughter · 12 days

Text

Safe

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summary: a night out with your friends turns sour, but you’re rescued by an unexpected hero

A/N: i wrote a chapter based on this post for my main fic, but feel a desperate need to write it again putting more detail into it bc i love a fictional man covered in blood idk what to tell you!!! let me know if you want a part II, im feeling a miniverse comin’ on (dw, chapter 23 of FD is in the works, i promise!) reblogs and comments always appreciated!

tags/tw: friends to lovers, mentions of sexual harassment, blood, violence (eddie gets in a fight), swearing, slut shaming, confessions, drunkish!eddie. (lmk if i missed something!) fluff, angst, slight hurt/comfort. reader and eddie are about 22-23, out of high school, happy etc etc. best friend!robin and best friend!steve feature, of course.

—

Your friendship had been simple, at first. You and Eddie had met as kids, before boys had cooties and girls were lame. Eddie had been cornered on the playground, by some giants in the grade above you. They'd shoved him against the chain link fence, their greasy leader demanding he hand over his lunch money. When Eddie blubbered that he didn’t have any, that he hadn’t eaten lunch in weeks, the goons cackled at him, shoving him to the ground while calling him things like “trailer trash.” You couldn’t stand it, even at eleven years old. The poor kid, with hair buzzed closely to his scalp, dressed in all black, carrying around a battered notebook with doodles of dragons on its cover. Your face had warmed with anger, hands balled into fists ready to swing on the group that would outnumber you five to two, or five to one if you were being realistic. This kid clearly wasn’t a fighter.

“Hey!” You had shouted, stomping your worn out converse against the mulch of the playground. “What the hell are you doing, Jared?” You hadn’t been afraid to get in the kid’s face, brows furrowed together as you jabbed your tiny finger into his puffed out chest. “What’s he ever done to you, huh? I don’t think it’s his fault your mother left.” You know now, it wasn’t the nicest thing to say, but it had worked. Jared’s goons had gone silent, anticipating his retort, but all he’d done was cry. What a bitch.

When he’d run, tail tucked between his legs, you’d turned to the cowering boy behind you, offering your hand. “You okay?”

He’d nodded, clearly still shaken up but trying to be brave. “I can take care of myself.” Of course, it had been embarrassing. Not because you were a girl, or younger than him, but you were braver. You didn’t give a shit what people thought of you. Even then, he could tell. You were fucking cool.

”Yeah, sure looked like it. Whatever. I’m Y/n.” You held out your hand to him again, this time to shake, like you were a seasoned lawyer, or something.

“Eddie.” He’d taken your hand, given it a brief shake, but you could tell he was nervous by the way your palm stuck to his.

”Hi, Eddie. You wanna walk to Benny’s with me? Get some burgers?”

He’d shaken his head. “I don’t have money.”

You’d only shrugged. “I got it.” You didn’t think mentioning that Benny was your uncle, or that you and your friends could always eat free, was worth mentioning. From that day on, you and Eddie had been inseparable.

—

The Hideout is loud. You’re wrapped around your best friend’s arm as he leads you through the bar. It’s the only time you’ve seen this place busy, let alone filled with people that don’t qualify for a discount at Denny’s.

The crowd must be the fault of the band. They're full of life on the tiny stage in the back of the bar, somehow convincing patrons to take to the sticky wooden floor to dance.

“You wanna drink, sweets?” You hear him even over the loud music, like a siren call meant only for you.

“Yes, please!” You look up at Eddie, who’s already staring at you. His rich brown eyes sparkle in the dancing stage lights, and you find your tongue in knots at the sight of him.

He nods, sliding his jacket from your shoulders before seating you at a table. “I’ll be right back!” He promises before skipping off to the bar. You keep your eyes trained on him, hypnotized by the way he glided towards the bar, weaving between the mass of gyrating bodies.

You can’t exactly pinpoint when your feelings for him started changing. You assume it had to have been high school. He started growing his hair out, dressing in leather and denim, and listening to a lot of heavy metal. Something about it was attractive to you, watching your best friend become the man he is now, at twenty three years old.

Even with an exterior most find scary, Eddie is still the kindest soul you know. That’s what really pulled you in. He’s always treated you with kindness and care, never once letting you leave his house angry, and knowing just what to say to calm you down. He always makes sure you’re home safe after a night drinking, sometimes even willing to forfeit his own fun to drive you to your place, or crash at his trailer.

Of course, these feelings have stayed stuffed deep, deep down. You can’t bring yourself to ruin what you have with him, risking your closest friendship to maybe be told what you want to hear.

“Hey! You still in there?” Eddie waves his decorated hand a few inches from your face, and you’re dragged back to earth. He places your drink on the table in front of you.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“Penny for your thoughts?” He rests his chin on his knuckles, full attention on you, and you feel your face warm.

“Just happy to be out with you is all.” Not a lie, but not exactly the truth. Safe.

“Alright.” He’s never been one to pry. “You wanna dance?” The song has changed to something slower, and you try not to read into his timing as you nod your head cautiously, taking Eddie’s hand as he leads you to the floor.

Eddie places his hands on either of your hips, and you can’t help but stiffen. “This alright?” He must have felt it too.

“Yes, yeah,” You stumble to reassure him, nervous you’ll scare him off. He’s always been such a gentleman, so careful with you.

You drape your arms around his neck loosely, casually. Safely. Still just two friends, swaying to some angst ridden tune you can’t understand the words to.

—

It’s later when Steve and Robin arrive, already drunk from spending the night at a concert in the city. You’re still not down for the count, and Eddie’s nursing his sixth drink of the night as the music has switched from guitar driven to computer beats coming from a turntable.

“Since when does The Hideout hire DJs?” Robin shouts over the bass driven music, eyes squinting in the bright lights.

“Ever since the place sold to some big wig in Indy, they’ve been doing this shit on weekends!” Eddie informs her as Steve starts talking about how “this is actually a great business tactic.” You decide now is a good time to slip back to the bar for a refill.

Unfortunately, you are one of about fifty people to have that idea, and you groan as you fight to find an open space along the counter. You mumble “excuse me” after “sorry” after “move, please!” until you’ve almost reached the front. As you’re about to order, you feel a hand squeeze your ass.

You whip your head around, and come face to face with a large, muscular man in a tight t-shirt and even tighter jeans.

“Hey, baby,” He winks, the disgusting smirk on his face sending a chill through your body. “You here all by yourself, gorgeous?” Your throat tightens. This is what it’s like, you know that. You shouldn’t be by yourself, that was your mistake. Your throat tightens, impossibly dry, before looking back up at this man. He is seemingly a foot and a half taller than you, likely able to break you in half using only his bicep, and he’s is standing way too close. You can even smell the whiskey on his tongue. “Uh, well,”

“Cmon, let’s go dance, huh?” He interrupts, snatching your wrist with an iron grip, and you squeeze your eyes shut as he leads you towards the dance floor, already formulating an escape route. You’ll say you need to use the bathroom, then you’ll find your friends and leave. Easy enough, right? Unfortunately as you reach the dance floor, the song slows again and you find yourself flush against this beast of a man, his big arms caging you into his chest. You feel the tears start to well in your eyes, blurring your already obscured vision. Your heart drops into your stomach when you realize you are completely, fully, and hopelessly trapped.

—

“Sooo,” Robin turns to Eddie, who’s been staring across into space, daydreaming about you for the last five minutes. “Where’s your girl?”

“What?” He’d heard her, but he wants to hear it again. And again and again.

“Your baby, dingus! You’re one true-“

“Would you shut up?” He interrupts her slurring of teasing, aching jabs, feeling his face heat up with every syllable. “She’s not my- y’know, she’s not mine.”

“Oh, please!” Steve snorts, causing Eddie to whip his head to look at him. “We all know she’s yours, and you’re hers, and all that romantic bullshit, okay? No use trying to squirm out of it. Be grateful you got that much. We all know she loves you.”

He rolls his eyes, but his heart is skipping with each word. He wants to believe them, desperately. He can’t bring himself to have those hopes, though, not about you. He’d only disappoint you, or scare you off when he got too close. It’s better, keeping you at a distance. Safer.

“Is that… No,” Robin looks beyond Eddie, and he turns to follow her gaze. He finds you easily, the only figure he’d recognize in such a loud, multicolored environment. You’re squished against a boulder of a man as you sway to the music, but he can’t see your face. Eddie feels his heart catch in his throat as he turns back to his friends.

“See? I told you she’s not mine.” He clears his throat when he hears his own voice crack. Not fucking now.

“Who is that guy?” Steve asks, craning his neck to get a better view.

“Probably just some club sleaze, she’s probably not even having fun.” Robin shrugs. Her comment clicks in Eddie’s brain before it clicks in her own, though.

“I gotta go.” He shoves himself from the table.

“Should I go with him?”

Robin shrugs. “That dude is gigantic. Maybe watch his back.”

—

“Hey, um,” The song has ended, and you need to get the fuck out of here. “I’ll be right back, I gotta use the ladies’ room,” You peel yourself away from him, but he grabs your arm before you can.

“Nuh uh, you can use the bathroom at my place. C’mon.” There will be no talking yourself out of this. Usually you can confuse a man into leaving you alone, but this guy’s different. You can sense the danger, the complete lack of empathy, like it’s a scent he’s giving off. You have to make a scene.

You twist your arm, writhing to get out of his grip, when you feel the cooling rings of a familiar hand on your shoulder. “Hey, sweetheart,” Eddie’s voice is low, so this man/monster can’t hear him. “I’m gonna get you out of here. Hang on.” He moves in front of you, between you and the giant causing him to drop your arm. There’s an angry red ring of his lasting grip around your wrist. “You gotta problem, buddy?” The guy puffs his chest out at Eddie, like some weird, animalistic instinct to seem bigger. Like he needs that advantage.

“Yeah, I do. Why were your hands on my girl?”

You try not to think about the words too much. Despite the situation though, you feel your heart skip. Steve joins him beside you, placing his hand on your other shoulder protectively.

“Your girl, huh? Well your girl’s a fuckin’ slut then, she’s been dancing with me for the last ten minutes.”

“What the fuck did you just call her, you prick?”

“You heard me bitch boy, she’s a slut! And I like my girls dirty.” Before Eddie can respond, the guy swings his arm into Eddie’s unsuspecting face as you watch, frozen and helpless. Your hands fly to your mouth to muffle the shriek, but you catch the attention of some nearby patrons.

Eddie doesn’t go down, though. The adrenaline keeps him on his feet. “Oh, we’re doin’ this now?” Eddie smirks as he wipes the blood from his split lip. “Cmon, I know you got more in ya than that. You’re massive!” Eddie taunts him before launching at the guy, managing to double him over with a punch to the gut. “You’ll have to do more than that if you want her, big guy. I’ll lay down my fuckin’ life in this bar for that woman.”

The crowd has now turned their attention to where Eddie’s got the brute in a headlock. He gets one more punch in before his opponent breaks out of his grasp, sending his elbow straight into Eddie’s nose. “Oh, ho, ho,” Eddie cackles maniacally as he lifts away from the counter, blood now dripping from his nostrils into his mouth, staining his skin and his shirt. “Look at you, tough guy.” He spits a mouthful of blood onto the bar floor. “Real big of you beatin’ on someone a quarter your size.”

Before anyone else can make a move, the bouncers are rushing up behind them, escorting both men out the front entrance while you follow behind with Steve and Robin. It takes six guys to move the giant, leaving Eddie to comply with the disgruntled manager. You watch as your adversary curses at Eddie before walking into the night, disappearing before anyone could think to call the cops.

“Oh my god, what the fuck?!” Robin is laughing nervously as she looks between you and Eddie, then to Steve with that annoying, know-it-all glint in her eyes.

“Eddie, he could have fuckin’ killed you!” Steve, ever the babysitter, scolds his friend with an elbow to his ribs, causing Eddie to wince in pain.

“Yeah, maybe, but if it meant keeping her safe-,” He cuts himself off as he meets your teary eyes. “Oh, no. Sweets, what’s wrong?”

You shake your head, barely able to look at the bloody boy in front of you. He’s hurt because of you. You were supposed to keep him safe.

“I’m so sorry, Eddie.” You whisper, afraid your voice will betray you for speaking at full volume. “You shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t have let you.” The tears are warm on your cheeks when they spill, and as quickly as they do, you have six arms wrapped around you.

—

“Get some rest, we’ll see you guys tomorrow.” You shut the cab door behind you before following Eddie into his trailer. You don’t want to be alone tonight, and Eddie has graciously offered a sleepover at his place.

“How’s your face?” You ask, already on your way to the freezer for an ice pack.

“I’m fine, honey, I promise.” His voice says otherwise, low and scratchy from a night of straining it. “How are you doing, though?”

It’s a loaded question. How are you supposed to feel, watching your best friend risk his life for you? You’re grateful, sure, but the guilt eats at you still. “I’m just so, so sorry Eddie,” You carefully lift your hand to caress his swollen cheek. “You really didn't have to do that.”

“What was I supposed to do? Let him hurt you? I couldn’t live with myself.” He shakes his head, wincing in pain. “I meant what I said. I’d risk my life to keep you safe.”

You shake your head, not accepting his answer. “Why?” It’s meek, barely a whisper as you blot the remaining blood from his lip.

“What do you mean why?” His words are muffled by the tissue.

You huff, getting upset despite yourself. “You’re telling me you’d put yourself in danger if it meant keeping me out of it? What’s the point? Why do that to yourself because I’m too stupid to make the right decisions? What do you gain from that?”

He shakes his head, clearly frustrated. “Do I have to gain something from it? I do it because I love you, y/n. Simple as that.” You gape at him, and he rolls his eyes, the beginning of a smirk twitching on his face. “Do I have to spell it out for you?”

“It would be helpful, yes.” You’re just about begging now, the nervous sweat causing your shirt to stick to you.

“Sweets, I accepted that I would die for you a long fuckin’ time ago. If it meant keeping you happy, I would tie myself to the train tracks. Or, in this case, let some fucker twice my size beat the living shit out of me.”

You can’t accept it, logically. Your brain won’t let you believe any of his claims. “But I don’t-“

“No.” His voice is stern, almost scolding. “No more of that ‘I don’t deserve you’ shit. Okay? Absolutely not. Because you do. You saved my life all those years ago, and I promised myself I’d make sure to protect yours, too. You are my best friend, and the absolute love of my life, so I’m gonna give you everything I’ve got.” He laces his fingers with yours, and you watch as his rings catch the light.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel that way about me, I’ll never ask you for that, it wouldn’t be fair. But I can’t stand by when you’re in trouble, it’s not what I do.”

Your heart is fighting to free itself from your ribcage. It wants to jump from your skin, straight into Eddie’s open palms. Though the ever present coward in you wishes to curl up inside yourself and hide from him, everything else in your body is being pulled towards him, compelled as if by nature.

Before you even notice you’re crying again, Eddie wraps himself around your shaking frame, rubbing soothing patterns on your back as you sob, open mouthed and ugly, into his t-shirt. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m right here.” He coos, and you focus on his breathing, matching the pace to calm the stutter of your cries.

You claw at his jacket, inhaling his scent of cigarettes and pine soap. You need him closer. He tightens his grip on you, and you look up to face him. His own cheeks are wet with tears, his eyes screwed shut trying to stifle the bite of the wracking sobs you know the strength of well. This is the only chance you’re getting, so you move with calculation. Despite the anxious pounding of your heart, and everything in your head telling you that he’s not yours and never could be, you crane your neck to reach Eddie’s split and swollen lips, squeezing your eyes shut as you place your mouth on his, ever so gently.

Before Eddie can react, you’re gone, face inches away from him as his eyes flutter open. “Whoa. Uh, w-what… what are you doing?” He sputters, face now bright red, and you feel your own cheeks blush.

“I’m- I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed… ” You cover your mouth with your hand to hide the shame, feeling the fire in your stomach. You have just ruined years of friendship, and for one stupid kiss! But Eddie’s beaming, and he’s still gripping you close to him. “I've just wanted to do that for so long.” You admit shyly, shifting against his grip, ready to retreat, but he holds you tighter.

“Can you do it again?” His voice is more confident now. You’re not sure you’ve heard him correctly, but when you look at him, it’s undeniable.

You mirror his smile, nodding before leaning into him again. He makes the connection, taking the lead as your body contorts around his, lips locking together as he holds you flush against him. His lips are so soft, and he’s so gentle with you, even though you can tell he’s eager, like maybe he’s also wanted to do this for a while. The thought causes you to smile against his lips, and you feel his own lips stretch against yours as your hands move from his shoulders to his hair.

One of his hands moves from your waist to caress your face, holding your jaw like a precious pearl he’s discovered after years at sea. Your tears fall freely now, ones of overwhelming love for Eddie, ones you never could have hoped to shed, content letting them simmer in the pit of your throat if it meant keeping your best friend. You’re breathless when he lets you go, fighting the urge to chase after his lips. After almost a decade of wondering what Eddie would taste like, what kissing him would feel like, now you get to know. “I have been in love with you since that day on the playground,” He confesses, tightening his arms around your waist to keep you close. “But I’m such a chicken shit, I didn’t wanna ruin anything. You were so sweet to me, I couldn’t risk losing that, losing you.” The words seem to spill from him now, like he’s been craving to tell you. You suppose he has.

You take in the sight of your best friend, battered and bruised for the sake of your honor, like a knight thrown into battle without armor. He’s beautiful, even in black and blue. You bring your hand to his cheek, rubbing small circles on his skin as he leans into your touch. You could stay here forever, you think. “I love you too, Eds. I have for as long as I can remember.” He smiles at you, lip splitting again but he doesn’t even flinch. You return the grin, feeling your cheeks ache from how wide you’ve stretched your mouth. “Thank you for keeping me safe.” You kiss him again, letting yourself taste the blood he’d spilled for you, a silent promise that you’ll make sure he never has to again.

taglist @children-of-the-grave :p

#friends to lovers #best friends to lovers #eddie x reader #eddie x you #eddie munson #st #st4 #eddie munson fanfic #angst #fluff #stranger things #strangerthingscentral #f!reader #willow writes sins #i keep forgetting to use that tag bc i made it when i was 12

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zegrasdrysdale · 7 months

Note

Hi! I wanted to ask if you could write a request for cole caufield! So him and reader are like newly public but have been dating for a couple months, but she’s getting hate on the internet bc her ex is someone who’s famous (idk who lol) but anyways she goes onto like a podcast and talks about how much better of a boyfriend cole was to her than her ex and when she gets home he’s just so in awe of her and the way she feels and speaks about him (I’m so sorry if this didn’t make sense) 😭

[ to love and to be loved ] c. caufield

paring : Cole Caufield x influencer!fem!reader

summary : tired of the hate she's been getting, (Y/N) goes on a podcast to talk about her life, her past relationship, and her new public relationship with Canadians star Cole Caufield

warning(s) : language, mentions of cheating

author’s note : my first time ever writing for cole so pls tell me if i did okay :)

༺═──────────────═༻

She didn't know what she thought would happen when she and Cole went public with their relationship a few months after they started dating. There were a few hours where all she saw was support, until her TikToker ex decided to say something about the announcement she and Cole made.

All she sees right now is hate from thousands of people after her ex's comments on his Instagram story. He called her a bitch and said she used him to gain fame and use his money to get what she wanted. He even tagged Cole in a second Instagram story to warn him about her "manipulative ways". His millions of fans agreed with him and have started to flood her feed with hate and negative messages.

She can't even imagine what Cole's comments and DMs look like.

It's been a week since that day, and she's only grown tired of seeing all the hate. She's hasn't spoken out about her ex's accusations about her despite her having more serious accusations about him and his own girlfriend.

As soon as she was invited to go on one of her friends' podcasts, she jumped at the opportunity to speak out about what's been going on. It's time to speak out, and that's the reason her friend invited her on to the podcast.

The set is comfortable. She sits on the couch next to her friend and her friend's podcast partner. A microphone sits in front of her on a stand. A table sits at her feet that holds cups of coffee for the three of them. It's a cozy set up.

"Thank you for inviting me," (Y/N) says to her friend. "I'm sorry Cole wasn't available to come on with me. He flew in this morning from his road trip and has practice today. He didn't want to risk being late to the rink."

Her friend Demi says, "It's not a problem. I understand that he has a busy schedule. Thank you for agreeing to come on."

"It's time I spoke up about this," she tells her friend. "Don't be afraid to ask the hard questions. I'll happily answer any of them."

One of the crew members tells them they're going live in less than a minute. (Y/N) throws her curls behind her shoulder and sits back to get comfortable on the couch.

The same crew member counts down from five before pointing at Demi and her podcast partner. Demi is the one that gives this episode's greeting.

"Welcome back to TikTok Stuff You Should Know," she says into her own microphone. "To my left is Payton, which is not surprising at all because she's glued to my side. Today we have a very special guest joining us. She is a very close friend of mine who has been dealing with a lot of hate recently after launching her relationship online last week. Please welcome (Y/N) (L/N) to the podcast."

Payton looks over at (Y/N) and speaks. "Welcome, (Y/N). We're very happy you're able to join us today."

"Happy to be here."

Demi smiles at her and says, "So, we're all dying to know. How is your relationship with Cole Caufield? How have the two of you been dealing with the past week?"

There it is. Starting out strong.

"Cole has been super supportive of me," she replies. "He's been doing his best in trying to distract me over the past week. I think we've both been trying to stay off social media this week and focus on making sure we're both okay. He's been playing really well recently too, which makes it very easy to distract myself from everything that's been happening on social media. I think he's been using hockey as his own distraction."

Payton nods along as (Y/N) speaks. Demi's eyes are on her. They're both listening to everything she's been saying.

That's only a fraction of what's been happening.

(Y/N) has been in tears almost every night, especially since Cole has been on a roadie for the past four days. The first three days after all hell broke loose were perfect. She laid in Cole's arms every night and woke up next to him every morning. It made the days a lot easier.

Since he left, she's been in tears on FaceTime with him. It hasn't been as easy without him near her. It actually kind of sucks. She didn't even get to see him before she left.

"What made you want to come out about your seemingly new relationship with him?" Payton asks. "Did you think that Ethan would say something about it when you and Cole posted about it?"

She shakes her head. "I always thought Ethan was a really nice guy," she explains. "I certainly didn't expect this out of him. Especially after everything he did throughout our relationship. Cole and I really love each other and we both got tired of hiding that from the public. It was his idea to make out "

"That's an interesting comment," Demi slowly says like she doesn't know what her ex did. "What did Ethan do during your relationship?"

(Y/N) bites her bottom lip for a second. "He cheated on me," she tells the two of them. "All the time at the end of our relationship. Actually, his new girlfriend is just one of the girls he fucked while we were in a relationship. He would have a new girl every weekend and I would look the other way because I loved him."

"It wasn't because you didn't want to lose your constant source of followers and money?" Payton asks. "I'm not taking a shot, by the way. He accused you of using him for fame and money so I just want you to be able to clear the air."

"No, I understand," she replies after being caught off guard by the way the question was worded. "Um, no. I never once used him for followers or money. I made my own money by posting my own content across social media. I stayed with him because I wanted to believe he was a better person and that he could change. I truly loved him and I wanted a future with him. After nearly three months of this, I couldn't do it anymore and I ended things with him."

She notes that Payton looks genuinely surprised by her words. Demi looks annoyed because she and (Y/N) are actually very close friends so she was one of the first people that she told what was going on. She was one of the people that told (Y/N) to end the relationship when Ethan started cheating on her.

"That's crazy," Payton drawls. "Holy shit." She looks over at Demi. "Did you know about all of this?"

"(Y/N) is one of the most genuine people I have ever known," Demi says. "I hated seeing her in that relationship at the end, and I hate that she's being accused of using someone for followers and money. There was a reason she rarely ever posted Ethan on any of her social media. She didn't want to constantly post him because she was afraid to be labeled as a user. She loves creating content and videos. She's so much happier now."

A small smile forms on her lips as she thinks about Cole. She thinks about how he actually loves her and isn't afraid to show it.

"I am so much happier now," she echoes. "I mean, Cole is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He was so patient with me at the beginning of our relationship because I was still healing from my last relationship. He spent so long trying to show me that it's okay to love and be loved by someone that I gave my heart to him. I trust him with my everything, which is not something I would've said this time last year."

Demi smiles at her and Payton mirrors it. "That's so good to hear," Payton says. "Sounds like you caught a good one, (Y/N)."

"I absolutely did," she replies with a smile on her own face. "He is the best boyfriend. I've been so emotional this past week and he has made sure to be there for me the entire time. He checked in on me while he was on the road for the past few games. I am so in love with him, and he helped me believe in love again. I am so grateful for him."

One of the crew members tells them to begin wrapping up. Payton takes over. "Well, thank you for talking with us, (Y/N)," she says. "Where can we find you and Cole?"

"You can find Cole on the ice tomorrow night at seven when he and the Canadians take on the Calgary Flames," she says. "You can find him on social media at colecaufield. You can find me on social media as well at yourusername. Or you can find me somewhere in the stands at Cole's home hockey games."

༺═──────────────═༻

It feels like an eternity since she's been home when she walks into her apartment in downtown Montreal. She shuts the door behind her with a sigh and leans against it.

When she throws her keys in the bowl by the door, she sees Cole's car keys. "Coley?" she calls. "Are you here?"

She walks into the living room to see Cole sitting on the couch. He looks back at her and smiles. "You are freaking amazing, baby," he tells her. "I listened to the podcast on the way home and holy shit. I have never heard anyone talk about me the way you do. I swear I fall in love with you more every single day."

"You listened?" she asks.

Cole stands up with a nod. "To the whole thing," he replies. "I helped you believe in love again?"

"Yeah," (Y/N) breathes out. "You did. You showed me that it's okay to love someone without being afraid they're going to hurt you. I thought that for a long time, Cole. You helped me realize that it's okay to love someone again."

Without realizing it, tears begin to roll down her cheeks. She tries to wipe them away quickly but Cole notices them before she can wipe them away. He walks around the couch to get to her and he envelopes him in a hug. "I'm so proud of you, baby," he whispers in her ear.

She lets out a quiet sob and buries her face in his chest. "I'm so grateful for you," she replies.

"You're so brave for talking about the whole situation," Cole tells her. "I can't believe how well you're handling it. I'm in awe, (Y/N). I wish I had your strength. I wish I could've been there to witness the whole podcast."

"I'm only brave because you're here," she admits as she pulls her face out of his chest. Cole moves his hands to her jaw and his thumbs wipe away more tears that escaped. "I don't know where I'd be if you weren't here. I don't know if I'd even be here if you weren't, Cole."

Cole presses a kiss to her forehead and mumbles, "I love you. More than you'll ever know. You're so strong."

She closes her eyes and whispers, "I love you too."

(Y/N) isn't afraid to say those three words anymore. Not like she was last year. Cole has showed her that she doesn't need to be afraid anymore.

༺═──────────────═༻

MASTERLIST

have a request ? check out the guidelines !

#hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey fanfiction #hockey fic #hockey oneshot #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #nhl oneshot #cole caufield #cole caufield x reader #cole caufield fluff #zegrasdrysdale request

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airenyah · 2 months

Text

Get to Know Me Tag :)

was tagged by @telomeke, @ranchthoughts, and @callipigio <3

do you make your bed?

not usually. both in my room at my parent's flat and now in my own flat as well i don't have a couch to hang out on and so i tend to spend a lot of time in my bed during the day bc it's more comfortable there. why make my bed in the morning if i mess it up soon enough anyway? i'll only make my bed when i'm trying to feel/look neat (like for example when people who i don't really know come over)

what's your favourite number?

23! elementary school me was veeery creative in choosing this number.... (my birthday is on a 23rd) anyway this number stuck with me and now it's just part of my personality hahaha

what is your job?

i'm a uni student and i don't have a "fixed" job where i'm employed and get money every month, but i have been working at a specific theater every summer since 2022. this year i'm actually the official assistant director. the rehearsals haven't properly started yet, but i've already one or the other task for it. can't wait for june when we're finally starting with the rehearsals!!!!!!!

if you could go back to school, would you?

depends... compulsory schooling that they make you go through from age 6 to age 15?? HELL NO. adult education? catch me taking 434353 courses on 434353 things

can you parallel park?

i don't have a driver's license

a job you had that would surprise people?

i haven't had many jobs in my life and none of them seem very surprising tbh? if you know me, at least i've worked as a graphic designer before, but i don't see how that would be surprising. also, i'm sure that i've mentioned this a few times in my tag ramblings

do you think aliens are real?

i don't think aliens are real but i also don't think aliens are not real. basically, i don't think aliens exist in the way they are depicted in movies, but if nasa came up to me and told me they found some sort of life somewhere else in the universe i'd be like "yeah i'll believe that". the universe is so vast, so it wouldn't surprise me if there really is something out there, but i don't really think about it tbh

can you drive a manual car?

as i said, i don't have a driver's license. but if i did, the answer would be yes. bc as a european you WILL be taught to drive a manual car at driving school. you could also choose to learn how to drive an automatic car, but that's really the exception to the rool. besides, idk what it's like in other countries, but in austria you're allowed to drive manual cars only if you got your license with a manual car. so getting your license with an automatic car limits your options quite a lot

what's your guilty pleasure?

i don't really feel guilty about my pleasures?? i don't always tell people that i'm really into thai bl, but that's less about feeling guilty and more of a "know your target audience" kind of thing.

tattoos?

nope. my brother has a couple of tattoos and he'd love it if i got one (i think he'd like to have a matching tattoo with me), but i can't do needles. but if i ever did get a tattoo, it would probably be something related to sicily. my brother actually has a tattoo of the trinacria

favorite color?

a really shiny dark blue and a really shiny darker red!

favorite type of music?

uhhhh.... good question?? i grew up listening to classical music and i still really like it, but i don't really listen to it anymore. these days i listen to pop music quite a lot? but that's also a very hit and miss for me, bc i tend to get overwhelmed easily with pop music. idk, just show me a song of any genre of music and i'll tell you if i like this particular song or if i dislike it my playlists tend to be full of song i have some kind of emotional connection too, though! so for example, songs that have been in series/movies that i watched or songs that my loved one's have/had in their playlists and that remind me of them, etc...

do you like puzzles?

i don't dislike puzzles, but it's not something that i would think to spend my time with

any phobias?

spiders!! i've had a phobia of spiders all my life. it's gotten a little better now, and how freaked out i am really depends on the size of the spider, where it is, if it's moving, and also how i'm feeling that day. the worst thing that could happen is a spider touching me in any way, so as long as i have enough distance between me and the spider and the spider is stationary, i'm good. i really dislike spiders right above my head, though i also have a phobia of needles. when i was 12 i had to get my blood drawn when i was sick once and i had a panic attack (or something along those lines). i've tried to avoid needles as best as i could ever since... and as a child i also had a fear of vomit. people vomiting still makes me uncomfortable, but at least i no longer run away and hide behind the door of my room hahaha

favorite childhood sport?

i've never been really athletic but i liked swimming!

do you talk to yourself?

in my own flat when i'm all by myself? yeah!

what movies do you adore?

der schuh des manitu is my problematic fave <3 apart from that, i also adore stardust and tangled and the emperor's new groove and i'm also up for marathoning high school musical, how to train your dragon, pirates of the carribean (1-3), and lord of the rings (extended edition of course) at any given point in time

coffee or tea?

tea!!!!! i LOVE tea!!!!! i had a cup of tea only an hour ago!!!! i'm not big on coffee, apart from a cappucino every once in a while which i also only drink when i'm in italy bc i just don't like it enough to spend 3-4€ on it in austria. coffee flavored things are mostly fine, but coffee as a beverage? not a big fan

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

i don't remember the first thing i wanted to be that wasn't a suggestion by my parents. possibly an actress????

tagging @newyearknwwme @moonkhao @visualtaehyun @celestial-sapphicss @cornflowershade @dimplesandfierceeyes @wack-overflow

as always, feel free to ignore!

#this was fun!!#tag game

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sipsteainanxiety · 1 year

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˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖ valentine's day brings promises of chocolates and roses, hugs and kisses, smiles and laughter. but this year it also happens to bring along something more... bittersweet ˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

welcome to dark chocolates, a multi-fandom valentine's day collab brought to you by the teahouse, a discord server ran by @petrichorium and myself. you will find stories of romance and love, yes, but with a twist!

the deadline for this collab is, of course, valentine's day, so expect pieces to be posted around then and subsequently updated on this masterlist! you can also track the #teahouse collab: dark chocolates tag for fics as they are uploaded.

please be mindful of the tags listed for each fic. we hope you enjoy all the following wonderful pieces written by the wonderful authors in the server. happy reading! ❦

for you, anything by @tsukkismoonlight

pairing: nakedtoaster x reader

mentions: general warnings around breakups, thoughts/anxiety related to self image/self worth

summary: you've sworn off love. after the way your last ex treated you, after all of the heartbreak, and all of the nights you lost to someone who didn't care, you have had enough. or, that's what the plan had been. you wouldn't have guessed that a tiny fan server with less than ten members hid someone who made everything feel like all of that pain was worth it. and you, they'd do just about anything.

idk man by @antheawritings

pairing: onion thief x reader

mentions: character death

summary: dead grandpa :( but it’s okay bc sexy onion man :)

cacoethes by @venexus

pairing: aki hayakawa x reader

mentions: prior toxic relationship (reader & unnamed ex), romantic tension, smoking

summary: cacoethes (n.) - the urge to do something inadvisable.

alternatively: when you escape a toxic ex, your favourite work colleague is there to pick up the pieces.

untitled by @petrichorium

pairing: diluc ragnvindr x reader

mentions: sfw, royal au, reader is explicitly female, canon typical violence, family death, mourning

summary: in which after five years spent rampaging amongst the frigid tundras and snowy forests of snezhnaya in the aftermath of his father’s death, crown prince diluc ragnvindr finally makes the journey home with a life-threatening injury—and an unanticipated companion.

standing still by @lou-struck

pairing: wakatoshi ushijima x reader

mentions: breakup angst

summary: you have been together for years, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

a persistent lack of follow through by CooPigeonCoo (ao3)

pairing: todoroki shouto x reader

mentions: exes, breaking up & making up, angst with a happy ending, personal growth, drinking, sexual content, child abuse, humor, pining, natural disasters, serious injuries, domestic fluff

summary: shouto had learned a lot from his father; how to take a hit, how to pull himself back up, and how to hold a grudge.

but one thing endeavor could never teach his children was how to be a good partner.

shouto had to learn that particular skill the hard way.

-----

he had spent long, sleepless nights reflecting on the things you had told him; the reasons you left. every moment of your acquaintance was turned over repeatedly in his head and examined until one devastating conclusion was reached:

"i was a bad boyfriend," shouto muttered dejectedly, idly picking at the label of the shochu bottle in the middle of the table.

----- a story where shouto loves, loses, and learns.

the night train by @pikatsum (tumblr) / Undercover_Royalty (ao3)

pairing: midoriya izuku x reader

mentions: SFW, some angst, hurt/comfort, fem!reader

summary: “what, did we both get dumped, tonight?” you ask, ever tactless in the face of silence.

through the sniffles, the hooded man gives a little jolt that might have been a laugh. it’s a start, at least.

when the night calls by @sipsteainanxiety

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader

mentions: char death (bkg) but not reaaalllyyy, aged up chars (25+), supernatural elements in a pro-hero au, grief/mourning, horror-esque but it's romantic i promise, hurt/comfort

summary: you thought katsuki was gone—that he had abandoned you in this life to move on to the next. you saw his body—lifeless, cold, still. saw him get lowered into the ground in his dark casket enveloped in his hero colors. you stayed, for hours after the funeral, at his grave.

you thought he was dead. that he'd left you alone.

you were wrong.

#teahouse collab: dark chocolates #nakedtoaster x reader #onionthief x reader #aki hayakawa x reader #aki x reader #diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr x reader #wakatoshi ushijima x reader #ushijima x reader #midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #blooming panic x reader #genshin x reader #chainsaw man x reader #haikyuu x reader #mha x reader

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leonsmamacita · 8 months

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"Drunk on Lust"

a/n: hello! so this is my first ever fic written/posted in public, mostly bc im shy nd i get intimidated a bunch jsjsjjs but! that changes today! anyways i dont wanna make this too long, so tldr; just lmk if i did good nd if there is any suggestions u wanna give, feel free to! idk how tumblr rlly works so sorry if tags/cw is off

word count: 2.1k (yes i do hate myself)

disclaimer: just bc i write it dont mean i condone these actions irl! this is purely for entertainment purposes ONLY; practice safe sex + drink responsibly <3

MDNI; +18 ONLY

cw: a tad of angst, alcohol abuse ( reader is forced to consume alcohol ), mentions of vomit, heavy degrading, mention of breeding, overstimulation, edging, p in v, no comfort/no aftercare, manipulation, mentions of guilt-tripping, BDSM ( temperature play, spanking, sadism ), mentions of lactation, he comes inside, empty sex ( fwb ), no use of y/n; not proof read!

song below is the main inspo for this fic if u are interested to give a listen to!

————————————————————————

"Great, just what I fucking needed."

Waking up with a splitting headache along with a burning migraine from a hangover was a feeling Leon found himself all too familiar with as of late; breath reeks of cheap booze and remnants of whatever he had for dinner. In a daze, he sat up and found himself in more pain than usual. Although only in his prime (around the 30's), his body feels as though it had gone through decades.

Phone now in hand, he checks his inbox and sees an unread message sent by the one person who can take away not only the physical pain, but the emotional kind as well— his own personal carrier for his emotional baggage. A snort leaves his nose as he reads the message; you always aimed to please, telling yourself constantly that you are only doing this to help a friend out. A "friend", how cute. So pretty, so young, and yet so naive.

On his way to your place, he spaces out for a moment or two. He would always find himself in this suffocating mog of black, a place his fucked up brain traps him in against his will. A never ending spiral that he keeps getting swept up in— no matter how many times he tries to regain control, it always ends up out of his hands due to the cruel will of fate. That was, until he met you.

As corny as it was, you were the light at the end of this dark tunnel he trapped himself in. Unhealthy habits; he would do them all, and no one would bat an eye. You were the only one who truly cared, who truly worried— he could not let you go. He looses himself to you each and every time, much more than he does to alcohol. When he admitted this to you, you were more than willing to offer yourself to him in any way he sees fit. It doesn't matter if he was mildly intoxicated or black out drunk, you would always welcome him in with open arms. And open legs.

"Hey, you."

Your voice snapped him out of his daydream. How did he not manage to crash on his way here? Perhaps it was his body usually going on autopilot during those moments. His mind was already wired into what turns to take, what lane to switch to on the highway, and what apartment complex building you reside at. As long as it leads to you.

Not wanting to waste another second, his lips crashed into yours. You already smelled the alcohol, sweat and vomit on him, it was only more intense as you tasted it on your tongue. No matter, you agreed to this anyways. You want this as much as he does— he conditioned you to do so. Fumbling with the leather of his jacket, he slips it off and tosses it to the side, doing the same with your sleep-shirt. Your nipples stiffen at the draft of cold air fanned against your areolas, moaning at how sensitive they grew out to be after Leon forced you to get those piercings.

His gaze falls on the ends of the silver bars, tempted to suck them harshly enough you were sure enough to lactate— even though you couldn't. But, he has to be patient, you had only gotten them three months ago. No worries, he will have his way with your tits soon enough. His rough thumb pads gently trace down the side of your hips to your love handles, holding onto them as he hoists you up into his arms. Sitting you down on the kitchen counter, he nips at your neck as he desperately tugged down your pajama shorts along with your undergarments.

Without hesitation, he opens his flyer to take out his painfully hard cock— the tip crying of pre as he taps it against your clit, sending a jolt of raw pleasure to shoot straight to your core and all throughout your lower abdomen. With his free hand, he takes out his hip flask and looks at you with that familiar glint of lust in his eyes.

"Open up."

A beat too slow passes; before you could register what he is planning to do, he scissors you open with his fingers and shoves the opening of the flask past your lips, forcing you to take him and to drink whatever cheap booze was inside the flask all at once. It was overwhelming, too much, and yet it was creating the perfect storm between you two— enough to make both of you moan at the sensation.

The cold counter meets the flesh of ass, sticking to it just slightly as your slick runs down your thighs and around the girth of his fat, long fingers. Dragging you onto him, using you as if you were a living sex doll; no regards for your pleasure whatsoever. Feeling a bit dazed, possibly from the alcohol he forced you to take, you whimper. It only intensifies at the fat of his calloused fingers kissing the opening of your g-spot, causing that delicious burning sensation you can't get enough of— you were sure you were going to be aching by the time he is done with you, and he is just getting started. Feeling your walls flutter around him, he quickly pulls out, leaving you whining as you clench around nothing.

He coos at you softly, making those empty promises of making you cum— he never lives up to it however. It's not like he can't, he could. But, he likes to be an asshole and rip away the pleasure from you, costing you an explosive orgasm that leaves you crying as the feeling quickly coils back painfully into your core; denying you pleasure is an all-time favorite for Leon, even if he ends up blue-balling himself as well. Makes coming inside you all worth it.

Grabbing the bottle of liquor you took a shot of earlier to hype yourself up before Leon came over, he smirked darkly at you, drinking in every detail of your pathetic self trembling at the denied pleasure. An eerie silence falls between them, before it was interrupted with a loud gasp falling from your lips and a low hum leaving Leon's.

"What, can't handle it? C'mon, you're a big girl," he teased, disregarding your pleas and the crescent-shaped cuts you leave on his biceps as you clawed away at him, trying to get him to pull the cold glass bottle away from your clit. Rubbing the icy glass against your clit some more, he holds the edge of it and pushes the hood that protects it back, exposing your clit some more. "So pretty; you're enjoying this, aren't you?"

Leon then rubs the length of the bottle against your exposed clit, making you writhe against him, pressing your body further back against the cold counter. Either way, you were trapped between his heavy body and the counter, forced to give into the aching pleasure being given to you. You just have to take it.

Finally, he takes the bottle away from your heat, making you sigh in relief— and yet, you were again slightly denied an impending orgasm. Were you seriously going to cum from that? God, Leon was ruining you. Before you could dive deeper into the relief, your lips meet in an open mouth kiss, and you could taste the booze he forces into your mouth. Not wanting to choke, you are forced to swallow the alcohol quickly, already feeling lightheaded. You weren't drunk, not yet at least, but you were at least woozy enough for Leon to hoist you over his shoulder and take you to your bedroom.

You aren't sure when he started rutting against your crying pussy with his fat tip, but nonetheless the sensation makes you arch your back, bringing your chest up against his broad pecs. A snort leaves his mouth at your reaction, making you whine at how mean he is being to you.

"Actin' like a bitch in heat," he blows his hot breath against your ear lobe, leaning in and licking the shell of your ear, making you mewl. "Gonna have to fuck you s'good, it'll make you drunk on my fat dick instead." With that, he splits you open and completely bottoms out deep inside you. Fuck, fuck, fuck, too much. Your mouth agape, that dumbfounded look on your face— it only pushed him to snap his hips against yours, balls slapping against your cheeks, making obscure and downright pornographic sounds echo around the room.

Switching positions, he maintains himself lodged inside you as he flips you on your stomach, putting you in a prone-bone position. Wrapping his arm around your neck, he cuts off your airway just right. The mixture of alcohol and the lack of oxygen makes your head spin, making you have this fucked-out look on your face as Leon continues to ravage your pussy from behind. Low grunts and growls are heard from him; he was close, and you were too.

"Yeah? You like that? Drunk on my booze and on my cock," he laughs at you, mocking you as you can only let out a sinful symphony of moans. "Such a slut, letting me fuck you into your own mattress, fuck," he keeps choking you out, squeezing your neck as your cheek meets his bicep, having no choice but to bite down on the meat of his muscle in order to muffle your moans. "What's the matter? Don't want your neighbors to hear you getting slut out? Letting the perverted alcoholic have his way with you? Is that it?"

His words contained malice and lust, with no respect for you whatsoever. As much as you hated him for talking down on you this way, the way he is battering your insides and plunging deep inside your guts has your body saying otherwise. A sour feeling creeps up on your stomach— either it was the urge to throw up since you were quite literally drunk and being dragged back and forth on some dick, or it was the urge to let go and cum. Either or, it was making you even more dizzy, becoming too much to handle.

"Aw, am I being too mean to you, sweetheart?" Leon said in his snarky, condescending tone, laughing at you as tears streamed down your face, proving this to be too much even for you. And yet, despite this, he continued to fuck you stupid. "Hold on just a lil longer, nngh, fuck, take it," A loud smack is heard as his handprint marked the fat of your ass, and more is heard as he continues to spank and fuck you at a ruthless and unforgiving pace. "Oh fuck, if you keep sucking me in like that, m'gonna have to plug this pretty pussy up full of my cum and give you a baby."

Skin slapping against skin, slick mixing with pre, it all became too much. Letting out one last cry, you come so hard you could've sworn you could see stars as your eyes roll to the back of your head. Leon only laughs at this, slightly wincing at the grip your walls have on him. This doesn't deter him however, as he continues to thrust into you much deeper, balls slapping against your pussy lips as he grinds his hips flush against your ass. Clit chaffing against the bedsheets, he overstimulates you over the edge, causing you to hiccup in between sobs.

Hearing you sob was what pushed him to the peak of his climax; what an asshole, getting off of the idea of making a sweet soul like you who only wanted to help a piece of shit like him cry. His thick and heavy cum floods your womb, holding your hips in a bruising grip as the last ropes of his load spurts inside you, finishing with a guttural moan. Leaving his softening dick inside you, he lightly taps the red and hot flesh of your lower back. "Still with me?"

—

"Jesus, my head.."

You wake up the next day, hungover and sore as shit. You feel as though you got ran over by a tow truck carrying trucks. Lifting the blanket off of your body, you notice the small puddle of slick and cum on your bed sheets, letting out a scoff of annoyance.

Lugging yourself out of bed, you take a quick shower to freshen up and to get started with your day— even though it was nearly three at the afternoon. Your phone in hand, you see a new message in your inbox. It was from Leon.

Leon [10:52 AM]: "You up yet?"

————————————————————————

#leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon scott kennedy #leon kennedy x yn #leon kennedy x yn smvt #leon kennedy vendetta #resident evil vendetta #resident evil fanfiction #leonsmamacita #wrote this mildly intoxicated #Spotify #leon kennedy smut

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cerealmonster15 · 2 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

ty for the tag @unpredictable-probabilities! I don't usually do tag things but I'm feeling an exception today and I want to ramble lol let's GO!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Right now, 51! I think i started using ao3 back in college with rvb fic lol. I've since orphaned 2 fics so I guess there wouldve been 53.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

86,956

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, mostly just Twisted Wonderland (and the occasional dndads, I still have a fic in my brain I kinda wanna write for that). Twst was kinda my comeback to wanting to write fics and has been my main inspiration for a lot of things and it's been the most fun i've had writing fics I think, and it's eventually what's gotten me to try to write my first multi chapter fic.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Slip Ups and Lift Ups (Stardew Valley) 444 Kudos 2. A Fishy Intervention (TWST) 354 Kudos 3. Company (TWST) 249 Kudos 4. Security Cauldron (TWST) 248 Kudos [my first twst fic i think? also has some errors in it teehee oopsie] 5. Because I Care (TWST) 234 Kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes!!! I think I didn't used to? Maybe because I felt weird about my own comments changing the comment count and like it was somehow lying lol. but that's silly and i like talking to people and I Need people to Know that i Love Their Comments

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmmm I do not write much angst, and even when I do it's more hurt/comfort, bc permasads make ME permasad. I think it was my rvb fic "forgotten" - which i always forget was my first fic uploaded to ao3 LOL, back in 2015. ironic that my first wasnt reflective of the tone i usually write for. i don't wanna reread it to check [even tho my fics from back then are WAY shorter] bc im scared to face how i wrote when i was fresh outta hs lol BUT if i remember correctly/based on the summary, it was a doc/donut fic and I think it was about how after doc had disappeared from the future cube or whatever in canon and no one knew he was gone, i wrote a scene of doc getting upset with donut bc Of All People Why Didnt You Notice I Thought I Meant Something To You 😔 kdlsjfkdlsj i think it ended with doc walking off and donut being SAD and idk maybe they broke up, idr if they were 'officially dating' in the context of that fic. but um hashtag docnut for life.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most all of my fics are happy endings with an exception of like one ^ or two lol. I don't know if i can quantify those!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not to my face if I do lol. I don't think enough people know about me to give a shit if i do stuff they dont like

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope!!!! i dont really like smut personally and it's not the kind of genre i have story ideas for.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't think i've ever done that 🤔

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that I know of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

girl help i cannot choose. um. well first shout out again to rvb's docnut bc u will always be strong and married in my heart. and in dndads im an oakworthy truther til i die BUT for twst. twst beloved twst i am in that pitfall of i like 50000 different ships. jamiazu is the one i write and draw the most LOL and theyre def a top fave HOWEVER. god. treycater alters my brain chemistry. rookvil marriage real. adeuce beloved fool duo for life. im physically restraining myself from mentioning more KLFJDSKLFJS especially when we get into the multiship/poly web bc god we will be here all day. i can and will be enabled but this post is already long enough GOODBYE!!!!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oooh ok well there was a dndads oakworthy thing I started like last year but pretty soon after I started it, we started seeing more of hermies forbidden other 'true' personality traits and i was like ruh roh this guy keeps pulling a fast one on me, i dont think the direction i had with this fic is fitting anymore. i had barely gotten anywhere with it and it wouldve been short anyway, but i think about what couldve been.... lololol and then for TWST umm. Hehe. Teehee even. Back during nanowrimo I used that as time to start 2 fics: kalim and the great relationship rescue, which is my current multichap fic about kalisil and jamiazu, it’s got about 3 chapters, and I’m still writing it. AND IM STILL GOING TO FINISH THAT ONE!!! but the OTHER one I started during that time and have NOT posted any of it yet was the stuff with my first twst oc, Char, and his place in my big caterella multiverse ideas lol. I’ve posted a bit about that story idea and done a lot of doodles and brianstorming for it, but I fear it would be too intimidatingly ambitious to stick to and I’m not sure writing one concrete fic is the right medium for it 🤔 plus I just don’t think many people would like it much LOL it would be very self indulgent and tapping into my soap opera brain. I feel nervous when I talk about it HAHDBFNTG so I’m not sure I could commit. But I still have what I wrote, and maybe I’ll figure out another way to go with it or maybe I’ll just wake up one day and say WHATEVER and write it anyway lol. I’ve gotten shyer again so we’ll see 🧍

16. What are your writing strengths?

umm. i do not know if it is a strength but i feel more light comedy and dialogue come more 'naturally' to me, but i do not know how well i actually can pull it off LOL also shorter, contained stories. Everything I write is a one shot, and I’m struggling on my recent attempt at a multiple chapter fic BDBFFBFNGD

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

hrhrnrngm more descriptive writing, i find im in the pitfalls of writing TOO MUCH dialogue. and i also feel like when i try to do more serious tone things it comes off as cringe or trying too hard kFDKLSHFLDSJ. no one's said that to me but yknow. fear and whatnot. also ending the story is. Hard. I feel like that’s always a weak part of my fics bc I sit there like WELL I WROTE ALL MY IDEAS HOW DO I WRAP THIS UP…. I worry my endings come off kind of half assed but I do my best lol 😔✌️

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

like are you asking if i would do it? or how i feel when it's done in fics i read? i dunno lol. i could maybe do spanish bc ive studied it a lot but i'd get nervous i think.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

on ao3 it was rvb bu teeeechnically back in my neoseeker forums days i was in there writing like, animal crossing or harvest moon or pokemon stuff. it was very bad bc i was like 10 years old LOL

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

ohoho ummmm. Well I always have fun writing jamiazu and I’ve written a LOT of those lol. I have a soft spot for The Comfort of Familiarity. That’s one of the ones hats taken me the longest to write because I was really trying hard to handle it with care, as it was a less light tone than I typically do and I was trying to explore the characters and their situation in a particular way that I really wanted to come across well with who reads it. It was hard, and I’m not sure I fully got there, but ultimately I did like it quite a a bit. on the flipside, one of my more recent fics and I think now my longest oneshot to date, Blue Raspberry Mango was VERY fun to write lol. That one’s a lot more like what I typically write, silly romcom style lmao. Cater and Idia goofing, characters bickering, friendship, me trying to sneak in as many side ships into the background for funsies, jamiazu is there, it was a good time. And that one started as a prompt suggestion which I feel like often times I end up struggling with and not delivering super well… but this one ran away from me and I had a blast lol. Idikei fixed me 😌✌️

Ty for tagging me! Umm. I am too scared to tag other people 🧍 goodbye jk @officialgleamstar 🫵 You Do It

[sorry if I missed any typos or autocorrect, part of this was on my phone and I always miss SOMETHING lol]

#I don’t know what to tag this as lol #It’s not an ask but I’m gonna put it there bc it fits the vibe #Asks

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oh-my-may · 3 months

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Hey there

Hi, this is my reintroduction to tumblr (kinda).

I go by May on the internet, it's some weird nickname I made of my real name and goes back to my first gamer tag on minecraft...

I'm currently 22 years of age, which sometimes makes me feel incredibly old on the internet? At the same time I seem to come across many other people my age who go through very similar struggles as me lol

I curretnly work fulltime as a waitress. I'm European so I get paid a proper wage there, and the work with my coworkers is very fun and comforting. I'm not always the biggest fan of other people, but being a people pleaser and having the ability to hide my true personality behind a "nice" facade makes my job possible and bearable. (jk aside, I really like my job)

Hobbies include:

reading (I always say that, but I barely ever pick up a book. Just spent most of my early teen years absolutely ramming through a shit ton of books. I still really enjoy reading, but I barely find the time to do it. My tbr list is endless)

gaming (I'll dip my toes into anything that's not an ego-shooter, my PS5 is one of my most treasured possessions)

watching movies (last year I dragges either my sister or one of my friends to the theaters at least once a month. Doesn't mean I'm a movie critic or anything, but I really like watching movies and I might just share some takes on it on here)

anime (just a select few, the most famous ones. Life's busy when you have a fulltime job and still have other hobbies, but I'm currently on my first watchthrough of One Piece! Will definitely post about this from time to time)

listening to music (realizing I have very basic hobbies bc my parents never urged me to pursue anything specific when I was a child, but anyway: I will listen to almost a bit of anything, but Taylor Swift and Ghost were amongst my most streamed artists on Spotify last year. Do with that info what you will)

writing. I did start with writing fanfiction, first harry potter, then boybands, then kpop, then anime. Most important to me was always my original idea though. I know many people have things like this. A few years ago I thought I'd actually go with trying to publish something. Now I have revised and rethought the whole thing. I barely write, but it's still in the back of my head all the damn time. I always think about writing, but doing the actual thing rn seems impossible.

As I'm writing this I realize how pathetic I feel doing this, beacuse I have this awful feeling no one is gonna respond and I'll end up regretting this so much that I'll delete it. Thank God the internet gives me the opportunity to be anonymous.

Anyway, the previously mentioned hobbies lead to my (current) interests that I'll most likely post about, so if you're into one or more of these things as well, let's chat!

in terms of games: Currently playing through Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth and generally FF7 is probably a huge hyperfixation of mine and has been for years. I've just arrived in Gongaga on my playthrough and I'm loving all of it. The game caters to all the expectations and interests I have in games. It's just so insanely beautiful and makes me tear up every couple hours idk

on this note I'd like to mention that I dipped my toes into FF14 but since I only play on Playstaion now, all the commands are overwhelming to me. I'm definitely planning on playing FF15 and FF16

Kinda cringe but I swear I'm normal: Genshin Impact. Have been playing since early 2021, once had a pretty unhealthy relationship to this game, but I was mentally not doing well during that time. Having a fulltime job changed my perspective on the game. Now I'm a casual enjoyer bc I love the open world and characters, and I love to get into the lore, so I might post a few theories and stuff on here

On that note: Honkai Star Rail. Same company, but it took me way longer to get into the game. Really enjoying it now though, although I am struggling with a bunch of battles. Save to say, I am NOT playing the game for the meta lol

One Piece! As mentioned, I started my watch of it last year in summer just before the Netflix live action came out (work bestie talked me into it). I'm quite literally at episode 500 rn. Had to stop for a while at around Thriller Bark bc the first few episodes didn't quite do it for me. Now I try to watch a few episodes before sleep everyday :)

Other anime that I am different levels of unhinged about: Jujutsu Kaisen, Attack on Titan, Bungou Stray Dogs, Demon Slayer. The basics, I know. Just don't have the time to watch a lot while other life stuff happens, you know. OP is the main thing rn, and until I am kinda up-to-date with that, everything else will have to wait lol

In terms of book stuff I must admit I keep going back to communities and fandoms I was a part of when I was a teen lol. This largely refers to stuff like Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugho, The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater and All for the Game by Nora Sakavic

Right now though I am more interested in reading some classics and other stuff. Read Britney Spears' biography last year (within the span of one day, I wanna add), currently I'm reading a chapter of Crime and Punishment once in a blue moon. I'd like to read more stuff like that in the future, but everything at it's time ig

Other fictional universes I was once quite unhinged about: Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings. Both communities are kinda dead atm though. I'm still in the process of reading the books (which means I last picked them up over a year ago. But believe me, I'll get there, eventually.... someday)

In terms of music as I said I listen to almost anything. Not a lot of rap and techno, though. I like stuff with lyrics I can sing along to and feel deep within my bones. I wouldn't call myself a "fan" of any particular artist, I was very unhinged about musicians as a teen and I have learned my lesson. Now I just listen to the music without caring too much about the artist themselves. I used to really like 5 Seconds of Summer as a teen, then I moved to Kpop. Now I barely keep up with either but just listen to the stuff I did back then

I think that's basically it for now? The most important parts about myself. Stuff I like to talk about, so if you like some of this too, maybe come talk to me? I wanna get to know people here after all, and I have learned this is probably the best way to start.

I don't have many conditions for friends tbh. I'm 22, so anything between like 19 and 26 or so is fine as long as the vibes are good :) I don't care about genders and all that, personally going by she/her. I'm a Taurus, in case someone wants to know. Last time i took the test I was an infp-t (still think it's pretty accurate but it's been a few years nd I heard that test isn't as accurate? idk)

Other things you should maybe know is that English is not my native language, so excuse any mistakes you might come across lol. I dropped out of university. My profile picture kinda captures my most basic features.

Anyway, feel free to hit me up, I love talking to people on the internet and I really look forward to this reinvention of my account here and actually talking about my interests and reposting stuff I like :)

If you have any questions, just ask!

Until then,

May

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diodellet · 29 days

Note

hiya dio!! tossing in 3 (honkai star rail? 👀), 5, and 15!!

hiya ian! thanks for shooting me an ask!!

3.) Go to the [honkai star rail] tag and reblog some art you like that has under 100 notes

aight i gotchu oomfie, ill search for stuff to queue up 😤😤

5.) What genre do you like reading the best?

angst and hurt/comfort 🔛🔝!!!

it's painful, it's good, and it makes emotional processing so much easier and less burdensome because the difficulty goes into finding an okay sentence and stringing together ok-ish dialogue (but at least those can be solved with a banger ass playlist, ykw?)

augh special mention to one of my formative twst fics i love that grim has such a big role in this

15.) Worst fanfic tropes ever?

NOO!!!! U CANT MAKE ME SAY BAD THINGS ABT FANFIC!!! ALL FANFIC IS GOOD WHEN IT IS MADE WITH HEART!!!

(did i say bridal carry? ill just say it again for funsies HAHAHA i dont like bridal carries, it doesn't spark any joy, please just carry me like this🤧👇👇)

i'm usually really open-minded with reading fanfics... so aside from the obvious fanfic writing sins (using generative AI, plagiarism, not doing enough careful research for sensitive topics) OH WAIT--

(this is probably specific to genshin/hyv) but i Reaaaaally don't like it when fandom infantilizes characters that use the teenage model. like, there is such a thing as short adults! (me. i am one of them!) one time i saw someone say that lynette was probably a year younger than lyney and i was confused bcs aren't they twins??? like, are we forgetting that lynette was the primary "errand-goer" for the house of hearth upon getting her vision? girlie's probably seen more shit than lyney did.

^^semi-related to infantilizing characters, i dont like how some obm fics treat luke as a literal toddler. like, yes he's immature but he's got a good head on his shoulders and even if he's a low-ranked angel he probably has sm powers that he can make use of to protect MC. and i esp see how he gets left out even in gen/platonic fics and hcs. smtimes i feel compelled to look at the game's shitty pop quiz events for fanfic fuel (i mean, the luke tag has more ppl saying not to sexualize him than actual writing and that bugs me ://)

There used to be this really good obm fanfic (Nightmare by StarsEncrusted) and it had a plot point of helping luke get his wings, but it++the author's orig account got deleted from ao3. thankfully some fans had the foresight to archive it, so heres a wayback link to the fic and the accompanying side stories

i guess to expound more on my aversion to marriage in fanfic, it icks me when the characterization stops feeling like the characters themselves and the fic starts feeling heteronormative (also sometimes the writing comes across as if the marriage/childbirth "fixes" all those issues, which, it doesn't) and, well, i already kind of deal with the idea of "getting settled down" shoved in my face. it's really not for me. but i do understand why it's comforting to people, smtimes i can indulge in reading in it. but on a bad day, nah, i can't.

anyway, also special shout out to chat fics, they can be fun but idk it reads to me as a way to regurgitate overused incorrect quotes. (please some vines need to be laid to rest. also, can we stop quoting that one copaganda show oh my god)

(art appreciation ask questions, please bug me to rb some underrated fic and art)

#dellet-asks #mga chismoso kayo!!!!! (/j)#im alr wracking my brain on how to word what i dont like in fanfic sdfkjsldfjs without being nitpicky bcs writing hard #smtimes fanfic discourse is a subtle way of dissing writers who dont have english as their first language js #i have specific characterizations that muddle canon and fanon and itll probably piss off people on both sides #idk but if it makes the fic more interesting ill go for it (if i have the spoons for it)#also just as a disclaimer i like most incorrect quotes. just not the ones from b-(nasagasaan)#scint1llat3

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toxicanonymity · 11 months

Note

Do you ever struggle with feelings of discouragement or inadequacy if your fics don’t do as well as you had hoped?

I’m struggling with that myself. I try not to get so hung up on it but it’s very hard, especially when something I’m so proud of doesn’t do as well as my other works.

I don’t even feel motivated to write bc I don’t wanna set myself up for disappointment

Discouragement, sure, I think that's natural sometimes. But I really don't feel like stats have anything to do with adequacy. Baring my soul, yuck. But fuck it we ball. Sorry it's a long answer.

I don't think I've ever answered a serious ask aside from the time i created Dr. rock which hardly counts but I've seen a lot of people struggling with this lately and hope this might be idk comforting to a person or two without leading to debate/discourse.

You mentioned something you're proud of isn't doing as well as your other works, and I can see how that would be disappointing. For laughs, I'll compare 2 of mine. These fics are impossible to compare (as are most, I think) but I def understand the urge to measure yourself against what you see as the potential. Aches: <1k popular trope I banged out in no time, wasn't sure about it, literally thought "people don't have to like it" before I hit post. >4 notes per word. Left in Lincoln: >22k posted so far, challenging, writing it for months. Has possibly driven me crazy bc I had this passing thought the other day and not about TLOU. (I didn't feel like re-reading it all): "I should just rewatch the movie. . .wait." 🤡 The whole Lincoln series combined has fewer notes than Aches lmao. But it's far more rewarding in getting to see it come to life, quality of engagement, and stretching myself 😏. It's not for everyone, for various reasons. Surely would have better stats without the twist I went with. But at what cost??

-------

Often, if people don't read or like something, it's a reflection of their own interests, limitations, and assumptions. And the right "fit."

I don't rly read much in general, but specifically, I rarely read long stuff (if I do I prob scan a lot tbh). I normally only want, if any, just enough plot/premise to build sexual tension. I don't read fluff or angst. I don't have the attention span / commitment to get invested in original characters. I tend to avoid stuff similar to what I'm working on. I make assumptions - If there's no word count, maybe it's too long. I know a lot of the fics I skip for these reasons must be fantastic. Assumptions I experience - I've seen very popular fics in the wild that strike me as dark, creepy, or pervy but aren't tagged that way. So some things that are tagged dark, etc., including plenty of mine, might not be dark in the way people assume based on their own ideas, or based on what others do tag. Also some people think I only write dark when sometimes it's just horny (see master list).

I've sometimes found myself thinking "It sucks more people don't read this bc i bet they would enjoy it" (not just my own fics). It might sound egotistical but I think it's often true.

------

Of course I want engagement because that means more people reading something which can mean more interaction, discussion, learning what you liked, what you think, etc. that's what I love.

But notes aren't rly near the top of what I care about, even though it does feel great to get them and I truly appreciate every single one.

Night walks doesn't get nearly as many notes as some of my other stuff, especially these days, but it's fun to write and I like to feed his feral fans who only get more into him with time. Same with raider: among those who do read and engage, I sense rising enthusiasm, thirst, and rate of falling in love with him (my bad). That's all worth more than 1000 likes to me. I have a good time writing these guys, so I write them more than other ones that get way more notes 🤷. I'm not saying notes don't matter at all, I know they affect exposure and engagement. But if just did what gets notes, I don't think I'd have such high quality engagement bc I'd just bang out more stuff with the most popular tropes instead of our fave Joels and those destined to become our faves bc they offer something special.

My outlook was the same before I had so many followers btw. Rock Bottom (22k) was what I felt like writing, still more ambitious than anything I've done in the Halloween fandom. I was disappointed it got way less attention than my one shots, but I know it's a banger, just certainly not for everyone lol.

I'm sorry for what you're experiencing and feeling, but I think it's very common and hope you can reframe it to not feel inadequate. I especially hope it doesn't discourage you from writing. ❤️

#ask #how the sausage is made #toxicanonymity writer's room #this doesnt mean i answer serious asks now lol

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gamerwoo · 2 years

Text

[SVT Imprinted] Wonwoo: Perfect (Part 2)

Characters: Wonwoo x female reader

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, college au, angst, some fluff here and there and toward the end (but then more angst at the end oof), uhhh would this count as like hurt/comfort stuff??? idk!!!!, pregnancy stuff but reader is very much not into it lmao, mentions of unprotected sex and not pulling out (stay safe friends!!), reader has a panic attack, if i missed anything pls let me know

Word count: 5,621

Summary: The pack senses something off, but nobody’s really sure what. Wonwoo knows it’s you, but he doesn’t know what exactly it is that’s strange, so he doesn’t mention it. Little do you know that that thing is something that’ll change your life forever – but you’re not sure you want that.

Tags: @psshwa @uglyratlmao @brokenbutchocolate @shra-vasti @killcomet

Unable to tag: @junuoyi

a/n: this was never requested but back in the day i did a poll bc people were wanting someone to finally get knocked up lmao. also things in bold are in english!!

Previous | Next | Imprinted Masterlist

Both you and Wonwoo knew you’d spend the rest of your lives together, so you often talked about marriage, kids, and the like. You agreed everything would wait until you both had graduated college, and maybe after you’d found a place to live away from the million and one other people – not that you didn’t love your pack brothers and sisters, but you couldn’t live with them forever.

That being said, the two of you were always careful. Wonwoo always used condoms – save for that one mating season where he was too needy and just went for it, and then never pulled out, causing the biggest scare of your life – and then you even recently started using birth control when Wonwoo realized that he really liked that ‘thing’ he did that one mating season. You didn’t know what the big deal was – he said it was probably just some werewolf mating instinct thing – but hey, you had your things too, so who were you to judge?

So the possibility of starting a family already wasn’t in your mind. It was never a worry. Besides, if you ever wanted to take care of a child, you could offer to babysit Kaito.

But Wonwoo noticed something…off about you. It wasn’t anything physical, it was something internal. Something wasn’t right, but he couldn’t quite place what it was. It was something his senses picked up on, and it wasn’t like anything he’d ever picked up on before. Whatever it was, was completely new to him.

“_____,” he spoke up one morning after the two of you had lied in bed for the last fifteen minutes, debating whether you should even bother getting up on your free day, “have you been feeling okay these last couple weeks?”

You nodded, your head resting on the pillow beside him. “Yeah, why?”

“Something doesn’t seem right…” he mused, rolling over to face you completely. His golden eyes stared at your face as the sun streamed in through the windows. “I don’t know what it is, and I didn’t want to tell you and worry you, but it’s making me worried.”

“I promise, Wonwoo, I feel fine,” you chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of his nose. When you pulled back, he was smiling softly, his nose scrunched up in the cutest way. “Come on, let’s go make some breakfast to prove I’m 100% okay.”

“Alright,” he sighed, rolling back over to get out of bed with a soft grunt.

Once the two of you managed to finally get out of bed and go downstairs, you went straight for the kitchen, trying to decide on what exactly you were craving. Wonwoo mentioned something about omelets, so you went to the fridge to grab the eggs. Meanwhile, your mate sat himself down at the kitchen table, humming softly as he watched you.

He was trying to act casual, but truthfully, he knew something was up with you. Maybe you didn’t realize it, but it was there. He wondered if maybe it was his instincts trying to tell him that you were about to get the flu or a cold or something, but it didn’t seem like it was that. It seemed…different.

As Wonwoo studied you, Seungkwan wandered into the kitchen at the sound and smell of someone making food. He smiled brightly when he saw you with your back turned to him, standing at the stove. He kind of hoped he could use his charms to get you to make food for him, but then he picked up on that strange...thing that Wonwoo had picked up on.

None of the wolves had really been around each other much since everyone was pretty busy. You were always at school or in your room to study, and the wolves had sort of sensed something odd in the house, but nobody was really sure where it was coming from. Wonwoo had never bothered to mention anything because he wasn’t even sure what was going on. But now Seungkwan had found the source of the thing giving everyone strange vibes: you; and he was concerned.

“Good morning, _____.” he spoke up, approaching the room slowly.

You turned at the voice, giving Seungkwan a warm smile, “Morning, Kwannie. How’d you sleep?”

“I slept well,” he nodded, trying not to act weird, but it was clear to at least Wonwoo that he was not being himself. “How did…you sleep?”

“Fine,” you shrugged. “Um…are you feeling okay?”

“Are you?” he wondered, walking over to you with concern written all over his face

Wonwoo watched as Seungkwan reached a hand out to you, and it was like time slowed down as his eyes followed Seungkwan’s hand. Everything inside him was screaming to not let anybody touch you, even if that somebody was his own brother. He didn’t know what it was, but he just felt the strongest urge to protect you, like you were in danger.

The tall wolf shot up from his seat, and was standing in front of you faster than you’d ever seen. His back was to you, but you could hear the warning growl coming from his chest as he stared down the younger wolf. It even frightened you, and you weren’t the target.

Seungkwan stumbled back, staring wide-eyed up at Wonwoo, “What the hell, dude!”

“Wonwoo, what’s your problem?!” you shouted, unsure as to why your boyfriend was suddenly being so hostile toward Seungkwan.

Hearing he commotion and the shouting, Seungcheol – and a crowd, as always – rushed into the kitchen to see Wonwoo standing protectively in front of you, Seungkwan looking at him in horror, and you looking confused and annoyed, “What the hell is going on?!”

“I don’t know!” you huffed, gesturing to the two wolves in front of you.

Seungcheol suddenly stopped, staring at you instead of the wolves that were probably on the brink of fighting, due to the amount Wonwoo was shaking, “Wait…you’re the one giving us that weird feeling.”

That was the third time this morning that someone had implied you were feeling off, and you groaned. Why did everyone think you weren’t doing well? “For the last time, I feel fine!”

Seungcheol shook his head, “No, it’s…ah… Hey, Wonwoo, back off!”

Finally taking notice that Wonwoo was close to shifting, Seungcheol’s glare darted back to your mate, stomping over to him and pulling on his arm. Wonwoo snapped at the alpha, his fangs elongated – probably why Seungkwan was so terrified, Wonwoo was really livid over something – and his eyes bright red. Seungcheol froze in shock for only a second, before his eyes turned a blood red, and he stared down the taller wolf.

“Relax,” he growled lowly.

Feeling the weight of the alpha’s words, Wonwoo stood down, backing up until he was behind you, and wrapping his arms protectively around your waist, “Sorry…”

“Say sorry to Seungkwan,” you told him.

Wonwoo looked over at the still-scared wolf, mumbling, “Sorry, Seungkwan.”

“What’s going on with you?” Soonyoung wondered, one arm behind him to keep Kaito and Rini safe in case your mate suddenly lost his cool. “Wonwoo’s usually the calm one. Plus…it’s just Seungkwan. Jihoon, yeah, I’d be concerned about, but--”

“I really suggest you stop talking,” Jeonghan advised, seeing the way Jihoon was glaring at Soonyoung.

Seungcheol turned, scanning the crowd that formed to see what the fuss was about, “Where’s Josh and Aya?”

You suddenly saw a hand shoot up, but you couldn’t even see the small female wolf behind all the taller men. She made her way through, walking to stand beside the alpha. Joshua was following behind her, his eyes already scrutinizing you.

“You two can sense it too, right?” Seungcheol asked.

“You need the med students just to confirm _____ has weird vibes?” Seungkwan asked quietly, still afraid of setting off your mate.

“I knew it wasn’t just me…” Wonwoo muttered, his chin resting on your shoulder.

Joshua nodded slowly, “I just don’t know…what it is…”

“Wait, none of you know?” Aya chuckled, looking between the two older boys, and then at you and Wonwoo. “Wait…do neither of you know?”

“No,” Wonwoo admitted.

“Know what?!” you burst, tossing your hands in the air. “Why does everyone think something’s wrong with me?!”

Aya opened her mouth, but nothing came out for a few seconds, “I thought you just were waiting to tell us…”

You gave her an incredulous look, “How can I tell you something when I don’t even know what that something is?!”

“Well, Josh can correct me if I’m wrong, but,” she paused, looking between you and Wonwoo with a growing smile that made you nervous, “_____, I’m pretty sure you’re pregnant.”

As gasps of surprise filled the room, you felt your heart stop, and your stomach drop. Being pregnant wasn’t something you ever considered because of what you and Wonwoo agreed on. The two of you were so careful, you didn’t understand how it could’ve happened. The last time you had unprotected sex was months ago, and it was just one time! How could this happen? You couldn’t have a kid, you still were one!

Most of the pack were smiling at you, starting to say their congratulations, but you cut them off with just one word: “No.”

“No?” Aya repeated, cocking her head to the side. “_____, you--”

“No,” you repeated more firmly. “That’s impossible; we-- We always use protection, a-and we never planned to have kids until after we graduated and settled down. There’s no way.”

As you began to ramble with panic, your language switched back to your native one, that most of the pack could only understand bits and pieces of, “I can’t be pregnant; I have school and a job and…and I’m still just a kid! Right? Josh, tell her she’s wrong!”

Those who understood you – Joshua, Hansol, Kira, Aya, and Wonwoo who you’d taught English to – quickly realized that this wasn’t something you wanted. They thought you’d be happy, but you were panicking, and nobody knew what to say to make you feel better. All they could do was be honest with you.

Joshua’s smile had fallen with your words, and he sadly shook his head, “I’m sorry, _____… None of us thought it could be that, either, but as soon as Aya said it--”

“No!” you shouted, which everybody understood. You hadn’t even noticed tears were sliding down your cheeks until you subconsciously wiped them away with the back of your hand. You felt angry, and you didn’t know why. You also felt scared, but you knew exactly why. You weren’t ready for this at all. “No, tell her she’s wrong!”

“_____--” Wonwoo tried to comfort you, but you pushed away from him.

“No!” you cried, shoving through the crowd of wolves and going to the bathroom, slamming the door shut and locking it.

The pack watched you leave before they turned back to Wonwoo, who just stared in the direction you left. He looked like his heart had been shattered, but he couldn’t even find it in himself to be upset with you for not wanting this. He knew that you were afraid – you’d told him so many times you weren’t ready, and you both agreed it was best to wait – and he hated himself for this. He felt like it was his fault you were pregnant, even though you both were careful.

Truthfully, Wonwoo was elated when he heard those words pass Aya’s lips. Once she said it, everything suddenly clicked. That’s why he felt protective over you, it was why all the wolves could sense something off about you, and he was over the moon to be having his child growing inside you, even if it was still early. He knew he told you before that he didn’t want kids now, but it was his child with you; how could he not be happy?

But you didn’t want it, at least not now. He felt bad for being happy, because you were the complete opposite. It was all his fault that you were upset, and he couldn’t do anything to fix it. This was something he couldn’t make better, and it crushed him.

“Wonwoo, I--”

“It’s okay, Aya,” he told her quietly, letting his head drop as he went to go sit outside the bathroom door to wait.

You cried for hours, and he heard the whole thing. You just sat in the bathtub, crying and trying not to panic, but all the wolves could hear your erratic heartbeat, and the way your breathing was shallow and uneven. But they all knew there was nothing they could do, even Wonwoo. You needed time alone to think, but all you could think about was how unprepared you were.

You wanted to wrap your arms around yourself as a form of comfort, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to touch your stomach. There was a literal human growing inside of you – possibly even a werewolf – and that thought was terrifying. Even in the small bathroom, you weren’t alone.

But when one hour finally turned to two and a half, and Wonwoo’s butt was asleep as he sat up against the wall beside the bathroom door, he heard your breathing become slow and even, and the hiccupped sobs stopped. He waited a few more minutes before realizing you had fallen asleep, tired out from crying. So he stood up and found the key to the bathroom door above the doorframe -- Kaito had locked himself in the bathroom on accident once so the key was necessary -- before he opened the door.

There you were in the bathtub, your face red and puffy from crying, and your lips parted. He carefully picked you up from the tub and cradled you in his arms, carrying you upstairs to your bedroom to tuck you in. He made sure to lay you down without moving you around too much before he covered you with blankets and held you close.

“I’m so sorry I did this to you,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your head. “Whatever you decide to do, I’ll support it. I just want you to be happy; that’s more important than anything else.”

It was around afternoon when you woke up again, your head throbbing from crying. Immediately, you remembered what had happened before, and your heartbeat picked up – Wonwoo could tell. He pulled you closer, realizing you were awake.

“I’m so scared,” you whimpered, your arms wound tightly around him like he would disappear at any moment, and you’d be left alone with a baby growing inside of you.

“I know, but it’ll be okay,” he promised, “because I’ll be with you the whole time, no matter what you decide. If you don’t want it, you don’t have to have it.”

You just knew that Wonwoo wanted this baby from how he was acting, and you didn’t want to hurt him, either. Even if Wonwoo hadn’t wanted one just yet, he was happy to just be having one with you at all. He knew it wasn’t the intention or the plan, but the idea of having children with you just made him so happy.

So now you had to decide if you upset Wonwoo who you knew would still put on a brave face anyway, or go through with having this baby. You knew you still had a little bit of time to think about it, but you really didn’t know what to do. Wonwoo was giving you the decision because in the end, it was your body this was happening to. If you didn’t want a fetus in it, then he’d respect that. But not only that, your happiness was more important to him, and if you weren’t happy, he wanted to do everything he could to make you happy. You just knew it would upset him, though.

You were too wrapped up in your thoughts to realize that Wonwoo was rubbing the crease that had formed between your brows as you considered your options, “You don’t have to think about it right now, love. Rest a little longer, okay?”

“But Wonwoo–”

“Close your eyes, _____,” he told you softly, “we can talk about it later.”

“No, I need to ask you now,” you insisted hoarsely, sitting up in bed.

He let out a soft sigh, but sat up as well to give you his full attention, “You can ask me anything.”

You had to be sure, even if his answer would upset you. You had to know if any decisions you made would hurt him, because even if it was your body, you still saw it as Wonwoo’s child, too. Yes, you could do what you wanted with your own body, but what if he really did want it like you inferred? How would you be able to go through with anything knowing Wonwoo would be upset?

“Wonwoo, do you want the baby?” you wondered quietly, your fearful, sad eyes searching his.

Despite the question, his liquid gold eyes stayed warm and comforting, “I want whatever makes you happier, _____.”

“No, that’s not what I asked,” you stated. “I want to know how you feel, too.”

He stared at you silently for a while before he dropped the strong, comforting façade. His eyes turned sad as he offered a lopsided smile that didn’t look genuine or happy, “Truthfully…I do want it. I know what we planned, but it’s something that we both made. I didn’t think I’d want kids so soon, either, but as soon as Aya said it, I just… I’d never felt so happy – not since finding you. I thought you’d be ecstatic, but you weren’t, and that broke me more than anything – not because you didn’t want it, but because you were so upset that you actually ran away from me.”

“But hearing about us having a baby…”

“I’d never felt that happy since you accepted me,” he admitted with a soft chuckle, the genuine smile coming back to his face as he thought back to the memory. His face fell suddenly. “But when you ran off like that… I’d never felt that kind of pain, knowing you were in pain while I was happy. I know I’ll feel that kind of happiness again, but I never want to feel that kind of hurt ever again. Lovebug, I don’t want you to do this just because of me.”

“Wonwoo, don’t you get that you mean as much to me as I do to you?” you laughed dryly. “I can’t just make decisions like this without thinking of you, too.”

“_____, it’s your body.”

“And it’s partly your baby.”

The two of you stared at each other in silence, waiting to see if the other would back down and agree. When neither of you did, and you just continued to feel more and more conflicted, you could feel the tears filling your eyes again. Wonwoo’s demeanor shifted, and he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest.

“Fuck, _____, I’m sorry.” he told you, rubbing your back soothingly. “I didn’t mean to make it worse for you. I know you’re already confused and scared.”

When you had first met Wonwoo, both of you were shy and quiet. He thought you were the most innocent thing he’d ever met, and all he wanted to do was protect you from the world. You looked at everything with wide eyes, said few words, and hid from everyone in the pack when he first introduced you. Now, he was seeing that girl again; the one that looked so nervous all the time, and needed to be protected from everything. It was something odd after seeing you come out of your shell, becoming the loud, goofy girl he still loved just as much as the quieter one. However, this kind of quiet frightened him. You’d never been this quiet or serious for this long.

Wonwoo could read you like an open book, and he knew your silence wasn’t good, “Would you like some time alone to think?”

Both of you understood this wasn’t you being mad at him, it was just you needing time to sort through your own thoughts that Wonwoo couldn’t seem to help with as much as he wanted to.

Your voice was muffled against his chest, but you managed to get out a quiet, “Yes please.”

Wonwoo pressed a final lingering kiss to the top of your head before he got up, leaving you alone – well, not completely alone – with your thoughts.

Wonwoo hated being apart from you, especially when you were pregnant, but he knew it was what was best for you. If he didn’t give you space, it would only stress you out and upset you more, so he just settled for at least being in the same house as you. Though, he would admit he hated when any of the males went upstairs. He knew they were just his brothers, but he still didn’t like anyone being near you when he wasn’t. Especially when Joshua went up to your room to give you pregnancy tests to take.

You didn’t know that Wonwoo was scared for you to take those tests, but he was just as scared as you were. He didn’t know why – maybe because if they were negative, he would be upset – but he couldn’t stop pacing when Joshua had returned downstairs after giving you the tests.

You were scared because if they both came out positive, that was just more confirmation for you. The wolves could already sense it, but this would just really solidify everything, and that made you nervous. It had been three days of you just laying in bed and thinking, so you weren’t really emotionally stable enough to handle this, but you knew you had to do this and get it over with.

You sat on the edge of the tub in the upstairs bathroom while the two tests sat on the sink. You stared at the tiled floor, waiting for Joshua to come back in five minutes to check the tests. You couldn’t stop bouncing your leg and fidgeting with your hands as you waited, trying to keep your eyes averted from the counter.

The soft knock on the door made you jump as you lifted your head, staring at the two shadowed spots under the door. It definitely hadn’t been five minutes yet, so why was Josh–

“_____?” Wonwoo’s voice was soft from the other side of the door. “It’s me… Josh thought it was better for me to wait with you, but I’ll understand if–”

Wonwoo stopped talking when he heard the bathroom door unlock. You slowly opened it, looking up at him with an unreadable expression. He just stared back at you, not wanting to do anything to make things worse for you, even though all he wanted was to engulf you in his arms.

Luckily for him, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around his waist tightly. Wonwoo let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in, letting his arms settle around you as his cheek rested on the top of your head. You could feel the content grumble vibrating in his chest.

As much as Wonwoo didn’t like being away from you, you also didn’t like being away from him. You just wanted to think, but your thoughts were just so confusing. You felt like you weren’t feeling any better than you were before. Things were still just as scary and confusing, and you weren’t sure what to do.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, unsure of what else to say.

You didn’t say anything. You just pulled Wonwoo into the bathroom, and he closed the door behind him. The two of you sat together on the edge of the tub, Wonwoo’s hand resting on your knee as his thumb rubbed over your skin. Like you, his golden eyes looked anywhere but at the sink.

“I wish I wasn’t so scared,” you admitted quietly, your voice just barely a whisper.

Wonwoo’s gaze went to your face as you frowned at the floor, “Why do you say that?”

“Anybody else in this house would be excited to start a family with their mate, but I’m…” you paused, unable to figure out how to continue. You just let out a deep sigh. “I don’t know.”

“You know you won’t deal with this alone, right?” Wonwoo asked, genuinely wondering if you realized this. “I won’t leave you.”

“I know,” you nodded, “but…I’ll be a mom. Wonwoo, I’m the biggest kid in this house. Literally.”

“Alright, alright,” he chuckled, moving his hand from your knee to put his arm around you, “just breathe. You won’t be taking care of this baby alone, love. Nobody expects you to just know how to handle this. Neither of us have been parents before, you’ve never been pregnant before; it’s a lot of new stuff and that’s scary. But I’m always here for you for scary stuff, aren’t I? And you get through it, right?”

Wonwoo definitely had a point. He was everything to you, and he was always there for you. He was your best friend, partner in crime, and your entire world. You already knew he’d always be there for you, and nothing bad ever happened to you when you were with Wonwoo, so why were you so afraid to start a life with him now? You’d do it eventually, you just weren’t as prepared. But hey, when were you ever prepared for anything?

When you had nightmares, Wonwoo was there to hold you and lull you back to sleep. When you had to put up with the pack’s scary movie marathons, Wonwoo would be the one to crack jokes and make you find the movie not scary at all. Hell, he was the first friend you made when you moved to this foreign country alone. Every single time you had ever felt unsure or afraid, Wonwoo was always there to make you feel okay again.

So why were you so scared? Wonwoo was smart, responsible, and sure of himself. It was okay if you had to lean on him for help and support because that’s what he was there for. He was your mate, he was supposed to help you when you didn’t know what to do. You always got through things together, and this was no different.

Besides, you always loved talking about your future kids you’d have with him. Talking about your future always made you feel happiest. You wanted little yous and Wonwoos running around the house and giggling and making messes. You were just getting those things a little sooner than planned. But you never even planned to be a mate of a werewolf, so you weren’t really familiar with things being planned anyway.

“Are you okay?” Wonwoo asked when you didn’t say anything.

“Just thinking,” you mumbled, leaning into his side and resting your head on his shoulder.

“About…?” he prompted, letting his head rest against yours.

“You,” you shrugged. You inhaled slowly before letting the breath out in a quiet huff. “We’ll…be okay, right?”

“We always are, lovebug,” he said before kissing the top of your head. “This time will be no different. We just have to trust each other.”

Slowly, you nodded, “Okay, I can do that.”

“Remember how we talked about babies the other night?” Wonwoo asked, gently rubbing your back. “The little baby we’d have that run around the house in little baby Vans and baby button-ups?”

“And we’d teach it to terrorize Jeonghan,” you smiled softly, remembering that detail from when you were half asleep and grumpy at Jeonghan for eating the last piece of cheesecake.

“Exactly!” Wonwoo chuckled. “We’ll get to actually do all that: buy the little baby clothes, raise it ourselves, give it all the love in the world – it’ll be something we made together.”

You tilted your head to look up at Wonwoo, “You don’t think I’ll be a bad mom?”

“Even if I hadn’t seen how you play with Kaito, I wouldn’t think that,” he reassured you, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. “But, as I said before, I want you to do whatever it is you want to do.”

You fell into a silence that wasn’t really awkward or tense. It was actually almost…comforting; maybe almost happy. You felt a lot better than you had before.

“Has it been five minutes?” you asked softly.

Wonwoo hummed, “More than five, I think. Do you want to wait a little longer?”

“No,” you decided, lifting your head from his shoulder. “I’d rather know now.”

As Wonwoo went to grab the tests, you grabbed his arm. He looked at you, eyebrows furrowed.

“What is it?” he wondered.

“Can we…do this with the pack?” you wondered slowly. “I mean, this is the first pregnancy – well, maybe pregnancy – and I know they’re all probably listening anyway, so–”

“We’re way ahead of you!” you heard Seungkwan’s voice call from what sounded like down the hallway.

Wonwoo opened the door, and lo and behold, was the pack gathering outside the door. Even Yerin was leaning into Seokmin as she watched expectantly for the results. Joshua made his way through the crowd, reaching for the tests.

“You two should find out together,” he smirked before looking down at the tests.

Wonwoo wrapped his arms around you from behind, inhaling a nervous breath before slowly letting it out. You let your hands rest on his arms, watching Joshua’s every move.

Joshua wore a poker face before he looked back at you, his eyes flickering up to Wonwoo’s for a second before back to you. The pack tried to look over his shoulders, but he kept the tests close so nobody could see and give it away with facial expressions.

In a plain voice, Joshua seemed to tell you more so than Wonwoo. “…They’re negative; we were wrong.”

The pack fell into a heavy silence, looking at you and Wonwoo, and at each other.

Something in you felt…sad. More than sad, actually. You felt tears welling in your eyes, and you covered your mouth with one hand, your gaze falling to the floor.

“What?!” Aya’s voice cut through the silence. “How were all of us wrong?!”

You shrugged, your voice breaking when you spoke, “It happens, I guess...”

Wonwoo didn’t realize you were crying until you spoke. He moved his head to look down at you, frowning as he wiped away tears that started to escape your eyes, “_____, why are you crying?”

“Well,” you shrugged again, laughing sadly at yourself, “I guess I started to want it more than I thought. After you talked to me, things didn’t seem so bad. But…I got what I wanted, I guess, so…”

“_____,” Joshua spoke up. When you looked at him, a smile was growing on his face, “I lied. They’re positive.”

Your heart stopped, and both you and Wonwoo were hyper focused on the older werewolf.

“What?” you whispered.

“Joshua, please don’t fuck with us.” Wonwoo begged before reaching out and grabbing one of the tests.

The two of you looked at it, and sure enough, it was positive. You looked up at Wonwoo as he looked at you, wide smiles breaking out on your faces. You turned, throwing your arms around his shoulders as he picked you up from the floor and spun you around, both of you giggling with joy. The pack started yelling at Joshua, but were also celebrating the fact there would be a new addition to the pack.

“I love you,” Wonwoo mumbled into your neck.

“I love you,” you replied through laughs and tears.

As always, though, the pack had to ruin the moment. They filed into the bathroom in a big group hug.

“I love both of you,” Seungcheol grinned.

“But we hate Joshua!” Soonyoung added.

Chan laughed above the crowd, “Yeah, fuck Shua!”

You were in the kitchen making a snack after the rest of the pack had gone to bed. Wonwoo was in the shower, which was the only reason you were alone. But you weren’t alone for long, as you heard a familiar voice behind you.

“_____?”

You turned to see a scared-looking Yoona behind you, slowly walking into the kitchen as she played with her hands.

“Hey,” you smiled, though your eyebrows knitted together in concern, “what’s up?”

“I need to talk to you,” she said, looking more and more nervous.

Your smile started to fade as you walked over to the table, pulling out a chair, “Okay, what’s wrong?”

Yoona took a seat beside you, exhaling deeply, “I don’t really know how to say this, so… I guess I’ll just say it.”

“Yoona, you’re kind of scaring me…” you admitted.

Yoona reached into the pocket of her sweatshirt, pulling out a pregnancy test that said it was positive. However, this one didn’t look like either of the ones you took. This one was definitely a different brand, so it didn’t belong to you. Which meant…

“Nobody could tell because I guess it happened to us at the same time,” she laughed nervously as you just stared at the test in her hand, your mouth agape. “Everyone thinks it’s just one of us, but I guess that’s good for me.”

“It is?” you asked, not getting why that would be good.

But then it hit you: Yoona has two mates, and if she’s pregnant, it can only be with one of them.

Yoona’s sad smile fell as her bottom lip quivered, “I… I don’t know if it’s Jun’s or Minghao’s.”

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