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#distinct fuckboy voice
shehsart · 1 year
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Gojo 🤝 bein fuckbois🤝 Hawks
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jacevelaryonswife · 1 year
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ㅤCatch me if you can, working on my tan, Salvatore.
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The summer's wild and I've been waiting for you, all this time, I adore you, can't you see you’re meant for me?
∴pairing: Sugar Daddy!Daemon Targaryen x fem!reader
∴warnings and notes: age gap, reader is 20+ but her age isn’t mencioned, smut. Inspired by Salvatore from Lana Del Rey.
The first time you saw him was at an exhibition at the Targaryen foundation, which depicted life in Old Valyria. He was magnetic, intense and almost too attractive. Truly inaccessible, you thought, however, life wanted to positively surprise you with the opposite of that. You weren't used to going to sophisticated places, although you were a girl with expensive and demanding tastes, so when your friend invited you to the event your heart almost jumped out of your mouth. It was so exciting to be among such a select few of New York's elite, you could almost relax for a moment. Almost.
Underneath the subtle makeup and cheap clothes — perfectly chosen for the occasion —you were scared. Not out of fear of discovering your humble nature, after all that never embarrassed you, but fear of rejection, of the superb and elitist look in your direction, fear of humiliation by unhappy and mean people. At the start of the exhibition your figure stood alongside your friend and her friend, Aegon Targaryen, a fully representative specimen of the rich fuckboy stereotype — at least he was funny. However, as the evening progressed and people became more relaxed, you assumed you could move around and mingle with less tension around people. You've talked to some of the Targaryen/Velaryon youths closer to your age. Two of them, Jacaerys and Daeron were genuinely adorable and even a little flirtatious, which made you slyly recoil upon realizing their interest.
In this way, finding yourself in a corridor away from the small crowd, you began to contemplate some paintings placed on the wall that didn’t belong to the exhibition. One of them caught your attention and captured you for a long time, it was a night city in a cyberpunk aesthetic in the shape of the upper part of a male silhouette. You've never seen anything like that.
"Do you like it?" A male voice asked very close to you, on your side actually.
And then he appeared. Tall, thin, short hair, with a discreet smile.
“Uh, I'm not a big art connoisseur, but I appreciate a beautiful painting,” you said.
“And what do you think of this one?”
You returned to contemplate the painting again, before replying: “I like the futuristic aesthetic. It's aggressive, rowdy and intimidating, it reminds me of works like Altered Carbon, it's chaotic and dark and I can't stop admiring it. I don't really know if it's futuristic at all, but it resembles me. I think it was my favorite so far.”
He didn't hide his satisfied expression upon hearing your opinion, looking away from his handsome face to the screen in question.
“The reference was a troubled phase of my youth, I spent nights awake in galleries in downtown New York, Chicago and Paris. It was more underground than it is today and I certainly have some scars, but nothing that time can put us back on track.”
His eyes sparkled in self-realization. That was not only the author of the painting, but he was also a Targaryen. How did you not notice before? The short gray hair and violet eyes were distinctive enough to give away a Valyrian for miles. Maybe it was some mechanism in your brain to avoid associating him with a descendant of the dragon and making you nervous again, but it didn't matter now, not when he was already beside you in that beige linen shirt with the long sleeves and collar and sophisticated posture.
“Daemon Targaryen,” he said, holding out his hand.
You introduced yourself with a shy smile, greeting him back. “Are these all yours? They are very good."
He didn't need to look at the other pictures in the hall to nod. “Only a few, most are in my gallery.”
“Oh,” was all you said. “How long have you been painting?”
“I like to say I was born with brushes for fingers,” he chuckled with a hint of smugness. “And as for you, what were you born to do?”
"I don't know. I never really knew. I like my field, although I haven't graduated yet, but I never had a big dream or talent for arts in general.”
The look he gave you was understanding, almost affectionate, nodding. You stayed the rest of the night together, and even though you hadn't lived a third of what he had told you, the oldest Targaryen didn't make light of your experiences and aspirations for the future, quite the contrary, he asked a lot about your tastes, your dreams, your preferences and desires. Even if you were apprehensive about being around the most charming man you'd ever seen, Daemon was good enough to break through your preoccupation and wrap you up in a spiral of seduction veiled in sophisticated words and good conversation. By the gods, how you longed for that night not to end and you had to return to your simple and unglamorous life, to your heavy routine of studies and tiredness with uninteresting boys unlike the handsome man at your side.
“You have a beautiful face, you know, I would love to have you in one of my paintings,” he said as he rested his glass of white wine on the shelf beside him, “and I can already imagine how.”
"How?" You smiled in ecstasy, especially when he moved a piece of your hair to your ear and caressed your face. Your heart froze a beat and your mouth parted, a part of the smile still visible. It seemed too unreal to be true, but you would never object to what was about to happen.
“I'd love to show you,” he said before cupping your face and pressing his lips to yours in a kiss that made you float. You grabbed the back of his neck to pull him closer and rose on tiptoe to reach him properly, only to find yourself deliciously pressed against the wall as he stole the breath from your lungs in the sexiest, most demanding way possible. It wasn't an exaggeration to say that your reality seemed fully magnified as he pulled back and stared into your face, still so close you could only get intoxicated on his expensive woody cologne. “Come to my apartment, I need you babygirl.”
Oh dear, an indecent sound nearly escaped your mouth at the nickname, your breathing turning into wheezes immediately. You've never been in a relationship with an older man, not for lack of interest, but there weren't any such attractive options close until tonight. It felt like a sensual dream, especially when he traced circular patterns on her neck with his thumb.
“Yes."
Daemon glared fiercely before pulling you gently around the waist and out of the room, opening the door for you to say goodbye to your friend and Aegon, hating the knowingly slutty look he directed at your figure. Your heart pounded with each traffic light the luxurious red convertible crossed, impressed by the ruby, blue and green lights that illuminated that part of town and even more by the large hand that was on your bare thigh. How you wished it would rise a little higher...
Luckily his dazzlingly modern apartment wasn't far away, with beautiful floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out over the sea of buildings and skyscrapers of the world's greatest metropolis. It was breathtaking. You couldn't help but walk to the center of the room, gently tapping the glass as a smile left your lips. "It's so beautiful."
“No more than you, I promise,” he whispered into your hair, next to your ear, sending shivers through the body. He curled one hand in front of your body, caging you between the glass as he brushed your hair away from your neck to sensually kiss your erogenous spot, making your eyes close and your hands rest on the glass. His vague hand ran over your waist and breasts, squeezing your flesh deliciously. “Have you been with a man before, babygirl? A real man, not these fuckers who don't know how to satisfy a girl properly.”
“No, I never have been,” you replied breathlessly, looking at him through the reflection.
“I will make sure you never forget this night.”
Daemon turned you around to kiss you, demanding to taste, lick, suck, and bite each of your mouths. He'd like to taste your sweet pussy right there, fucking your beautiful body against the glass, but he wanted more, so much more, he wanted to lay you on the bed while the blue light outside illuminated your body just like the painting he'd imagined. And so he did. He stripped you of your clothes before laying you on the white sheets, drinking in the masterful image before you. He leaned down to kiss and suck on your neck as he slid his hand down the length of your body to the wet spot between your legs, spreading your wetness with his fingers before massaging your clit incisively with the palm of his hand, making a long, breathy moan out of your throat as you held him from behind, desperate for more friction. He removed his hand from your legs to grab your breasts and bring them to his mouth, but was quick to repeatedly grind his clothed manhood against your needy, wet pussy. He smeared saliva on your breasts and continued to tread south, kissing and stroking your stomach with his big hands.
“Fuck,” he growled at the sight of your shimmering femininity, so eager for his attention. “So fucking pretty,” he said before kissing the inside of your right thigh, holding your hips in place to dip like a bee on your flower, eating you like no other has. You moaned loudly and squeezed your eyes shut, holding onto his hair as your legs unconsciously tightened around his head. He never wavered, devouring your pearl like a starving man only to feel your body relax beneath him, your orgasm coming so hot and wet it had you moaning pathetically as he licked for another moment. A proud smile appeared on his features, which was met by a shy and satisfied smile before your hands struggled to remove the last physical obstacle that separated them.
“Ready for me, love?”
You nodded during the long look at his beautiful member. How he would love to thrust into you with no hindrance, but that would be asking too much for a first night, he knew that. So when he returned to the bed with the condom on and settled himself between your legs, his hand on your knees, there was nothing to look forward to but losing himself in your wet heat, so deliciously hot and tight. He let out a guttural growl as you let out a sly moan, sagging in glee as your pussy was filled in a steady rhythm.
“Daemon,” you cried breathlessly, pulling him in for a sloppy kiss. He became deeper and faster in his movements. “Oh! Don’t stop!" Your whisper had him moaning in your ear and biting down on your bottom lip, fucking your sensual body hungrily.
“Fuckin' hells,” he growled as you squeezed him and milked him wet all over his cock, kissing the sensitive spot on your neck. He didn't last long after that, allowing himself to fully enjoy your heat to come hard over your body, rolling over to discard the condom and lying next to you, pulling you into his chest.
“That was amazing,” you said, smiling wide and tired, feeling your warm intimacy relax completely.
He just smiled and nodded silently, draping an arm over your shoulder. You didn't bother too much to stay awake, however, Daemon's low voice caught your attention.
“You said you never had great aspirations, but you also told me of dreams to be fulfilled, desires, everything you would like to have, see and live. Let me do it, babygirl, let me help you.”
Your eyes widened, looking up to meet his calm features. "Are you serious?" We don't even know each other well, this is a big step for both of us,” you said.
“We have enough time for that, I just need to know if you want it.”
This is definitely the best night of your life. Of course I do, holy shit I want it so bad. “Yes! I want it! I want it so much!” You kissed him sleepily, smiling against his lips. And that's how the dynamic between you began.
tag: my bestie @valeskafics cause she planted the idea of sugar daddy daemon in my head with this work here, check out her work! She's the queen of hotd content.
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missingrache · 3 months
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10 fandoms 10 blorbos, very belatedly responding to a tag from lovely @windsweptinred:
1. Bioshock: Mark Meltzer
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This man is the subject of my very first post on tumblr, he must be included here, I adore this sad fuck.
2. Homestuck: Diamonds Droog
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A toss up between him and Slick. I was and am a Homestuck Intermission girlie and this must be acknowledged.
3. Dragon Age: Justice
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I have many many Dragon Age faves and DAO and also Awakening is so so important to me, but Jorstin here is the fellow I have the most distinct and personal opinions about and is, aside from OCs like my Brosca Warden, Avi, the only one I have a strong rp/fic voice for. He’s such a weird and cool dude!
4. DC Comics/Animated Universe: Martian Manhunter/ J’onn J’onzz
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My BOY. I love him most in the VERY specific comic pictured above (1988 miniseries that establishes the Martian gods as being flaming horrorterrors, as we see in Sandman w/L’zoril Dream, it’s GOOD SHIT)—but also in general. Criminally under rated and under represented. A sad fuck, a shape shifting horror, a stranger in a strange land, a bereaved parent, Doing His Goddamn Best. AND sometimes a noir detective send up.
Anyway, speaking of comics.
5. Sandman: Dream of the Endless
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I am thrilled to be here in the year of our lord 2024 enthusing about and making friends over this scrunkly wet cat that I first encountered and dearly loved in high school. (I am more than halfway through my 30’s now, so it has been A WHILE). I’m counting Sandman and DC as separate affairs, sorry not sorry.
6. Our Flag Means Death: Izzy Hands
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Loved him even before S2, fascinated, I want to put him in a jar and shake him but also keep him safe forever. I am a little soured on the show after s2, but I have dressed up as Izzy and would gladly do so again so he belongs here.
7. Supergiant Hades: Achilles
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This SPECIFIC version of Achilles, who has died and continued growing through his pain and regrets and who is a surrogate parent to my BOI Zagreus, is. Fascinating. To me. I was so angry at first to find myself liking him as much as I did! It’s masterful how much characterization Supergiant implies with relatively little. He’s coming after Izzy on the list bc I came to them both in similar ways, looking at myself falling in love and going oh my god HIM? Seriously? And being like yup that war criminal there is my son now!!! (And now of course I’m fond of him all across the mythological/classical board, oh my god Hadesgame what have you done.)
8. Star Wars: Alexsandr Kallus
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The only space nazi redemption arc I will accept. (Although I am watching Andor with friends right now and three double agent gingers across the begins to suggest a pattern which is very entertaining to me.)
Anyway A+ arc, love this bastard man, love his giant cat husband, single-handedly keeping me invested in Star Wars, hope his gay happy ending never gets messed with.
9. Les Miserables: Inspector Javert
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Another character that I went oh my god REALLY??? That Guy??? About. But he’s so /funny/ in the Brick and Stars is lovely enough that I learned how to play barre chords on my guitar Just For That and look. Look. He is a bastard but he is MY bastard and I will read every redeemed!Javert fic that crosses my path forever the end. (Also a side note: Kallus was originally sold to me by @lokivangelist as “space Javert”)
10. The Witcher: Dandelion/Jaskier (all versions, but repping Hexer below because that’s my favorite!!!)
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Throwing a curveball for the last slot! I’ve got a sad dad/monochrome aesthetic/loyal right hand/shapeshifting nonhuman/rigid worldview kinda pattern happening above, and my boi here slip slides away from almost all of those. Except for the loyalty. This man is an absolute ride or die for Geralt and I love that about him. He is also an obnoxious fuckboi but I love that too, especially in a story as heavy as the Witcher frequently can be. (My runner up for this fandom was gonna be book!Lambert, who is similarly narratively savvy and good at puncturing the heaviness of a scene without being straight up comic relief.)
There they are! Ten blorbos, I climbed that whole mountain and now I’m heading to bed. (Will tag folks tomorrow perhaps? But also feel free to invite yourself in and do this and say I tagged you if you like, because I am curious what my mutuals and etc . might choose!)
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monoful · 7 months
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Personal thoughts on Seventeen’s main 3 units’ tracks + my fav released songs:
PERFORMANCE TEAM - I love how they always have the most experimental, sensual tracks. ‘Shhh’ is a masterpiece. The way they use sound that sounds like glass breaking but in reverse and mix in dissonant chords in the pre-chorus - it makes the chorus sound so satisfying even though it’s in a low key. Oh and the low voice to whispering to whistling feels very tastefully fuckboy-ish in the best way.
HIP HOP TEAM - They have a very hip new-wave, clean style yet mixes a lot of different sound textures, giving their tracks a creative, distinct flair. ‘Back it up’ stands out and demonstrates this uniqueness - it’s overall very clean and simple but all the complex sounds mixed together gives it more impact. Of course their unreleased music hit different but that’ll become a whole other post.
VOCAL TEAM - This unit is so interesting to me because even though they are a unit, the way they tend to expend energy whilst singing is so different that I feel like they don’t have many songs that show each member’s full skill, making the songs less memorable… That being said. ‘Dust’ is my fav from them. It has the overall soft element that Jeonghan and Woozi excel in, a dash of 2000s pop element that Joshua suits, high notes that Seungkwan’s good at, and more energy (than other vocal unit songs but less than Seventeen songs) letting DK show a glimpse of his talent.
Side note: I feel like DK’s voice shines more in Seventeen’s music than in the vocal unit’s songs because his voice is so energetic and clean whilst the rest of the vocal team have softer/airier sounding voices. I love how a lot of their songs have Hoshi and DK each sing half of the chorus as they have a similar kind of energy in the way they sing and their voices blend together very pleasantly.
Anyways, I’m a relatively new carat so pls give me more recos!
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sirensunrise · 1 year
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Thank you for responding to my ask with such depth. Cannot believe I didn’t consider changkyun and taemin. Ludacris oversight.
Would love to hear about what genre you see idols slotting themselves into with producing.
Idk if you like much non-kpop music but even trying to think of western bands/groups idols would fit into is kinda fun. Like yuta in 5sos, dawn in 1975 (still workshopping that), soyeon in paramore… I know that is an entirely different tangent to the original ask and what you said your tangent was.
First off, I LOVE music outside of kpop. I’ve grown up surrounded by mostly alt music (punk, rock, indie) (and also a lot classical) but branched into emo and then some pop, rap, and just all music like i just Love music so much.
Ok so also, to preface this, I just came back from a hockey game where I had one more drink than i normally have (they also were overpouring... like a Lot these things were essentially doubles lmao) so im a lil tipsy so whoops. 
(as i’m writing this i am having more drinks this is fun)
Also bc I’m drunk (I’m writing this while halfway thru answering sorry) I’m gonna continue my og train of thought. Apologies. I will reblog this when I’m sober perhaps and actually do the secondary tangent. Also This isn’t necessarily what the idols would choose, but its what i see them doing if they were in that like alt universe discussed before. Where they are all rock/rock adjacent artists. Also might not include all of them. Literally if you want anything specific. Ask. I will answer. I love being asked shit like this. 
What originally had started this was me thinking about yuta and taem and how yuta especially gave me hyde vibes. Which like duh, that’s his fuckin dad right there. They literally did a drunk insta live together and it gave me my whole life. Hyde was Super androgynous in the 80s and 90s which is huge taem vibes, also the cross mic stand and some christian imagery idk. it gives. plus hyde has a very distinct voice which both taem and yuta have. Yuta has such a japanese voice. idk how else to put it. its just So japanese rock. Yuta is a man built for that shit. lowkey im sorry but 5sos is pussy shit compared to what i see for my boy yuta. (who has such impeccable music taste like. yuta, hmu i know some jp, all my host sisters are from osaka, i love one ok rock. i like that you’re a perv) Also throwing in some X Japan style for taem just bc he would go to that extreme. If he did rock of course. idk the man is an enigma. 
JK, im so sorry baby girl you give me mgk vibes every now and then. If not solo shit he would be in a band like as a drummer or bassist with amazing back up vocals/secondary lead. Kinda like how pete wentz operated but like. More. Jk would be a sleeper hit. I don’t think he’d be lead singer if in a band. But he’d do some fuckboy shit if he were solo. Probably do really intricate shit tho if he played an instrument. The boy likes muse, go watch him do that baseline and tell me otherwise. I DARE YOU. 
ok the next person i can immediately peg (ha) is jjong. that man gives me classique warped tour vibes. I’m talking early 00s rock. Taking Back Sunday, Thursday. That vibe. Not screamo. Not metal. but not quite emo. More life than brand new. Solid like young people rock. lead guitarist. obviously. backup/secondary vocal. maybe even lead. That era. (i hope yk what im talking about lmao. rock is my shit. I just saw taking back sunday open for mcr in like nov and ive seen geoff from thursday open for frank iero (quick sidebar thats fun that they both were with mcr/mcr members ha) but yeah im getting Specific. and it’s not a lot of current shit. we goin Back a bit,)
Hongjoong is obviously muse/linkin park. the theatrics of muse. the intricacies. the showmanship. That man is Built for it. I saw muse a few years ago and they had a blimp flying over the audience. you know the next time i saw smthn like that? ateez’s rhythm ta performance on kingdom. Coincidence? yeah. but it MEANS something to me. muse is in his VEINS. BUT the linkin park comes in w the like kinda rap. like linkin park had some kinda rap. joong would prob do real rap. literally just his solo lil cover songs like its all there babey. ateez is essentially already what he would do on his own bc he is so involved in the creative process but idk, the muse vibes exist. a cool hybrid between the two. 
The other ones didn’t get like fleshed out immediately and my brain is mushyymushy rn like whoooo im more drunk than i thought this is pure stream of consciousness rn so i couldnt truly tell you about the rest. most of them didnt have obvious rock counterparts i suppose. idols are lowkey weaksauce most of the time. like punk to me is dead kennedys that type of shit. they type where u tell the govt to fucking shove it and call reagan hitler and scream and bash shit. idols, by nature, don’t get to do that. and the type of people who become idols are probably not the type to do that. except hongjoong. hongjoong and suga are like the most outspoken mfs about that. i respect them so much. they pussy poppin on that punk attitude in an industry that expects perfection and obedience. they get their dicks sucked for that one fr.
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bucksfucks · 3 years
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  𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚 𝙖.𝙢. ; 𝗯𝘂𝗰𝗸𝘆 𝗯𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘀
summary┃he won’t ever say i love you, but he’ll always fuck you until you can’t stand.
pairing┃fuckboy!bucky x f!reader
word count┃1,584 words
warnings┃spit kink, praise kink, hair pulling, blowjob (deepthroating), fingering, oral, overstimulation, choking kink, unprotected sex, breeding kink, mocking, degradation, name-calling, angsty ending —18+ ONLY//MINORS DNI
notes┃this is all i want bye
PART TWO
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 “You awake?” His voice was low and gruff, clearly tired and hoarse from God knows how many hours of screaming, running, and fighting.
   You sighed, shaking your head as you rubbed your eyes to face the digital alarm clock that sat on your nightstand.
   2:34 AM
   “Yeah, I’m awake,” you lie through your teeth, feeling your heart picking up its pace as your palms begin to sweat and that thought of Bucky.
   It had been two months since you last saw him. Two months of telling yourself that the next time he called, you wouldn’t answer. Two months of trying to get over him, hoping that a random hookup would quell your desires.
   But it never did, because there was no one else just like Bucky Barnes.
   “Be over in twenty then, I just landed.” He said, a shift in his tone as you felt your stomach turn, burning thighs and an aching core as you bit your lip.  
~
   Bucky was tired and sore, every little inconvenience making his blood boil as his cock hardened with each thought of her. He needed to feel her, to smell her, to touch her and use her like she always let him.
   “Hey man, wanna s—“ Sam was abruptly caught of by Bucky’s glare telling him that no he didn’t want to do whatever Sam was about to offer him.
   He felt bad and they both knew that Bucky would apologize to him in the morning, but right now, he just needed to get home and bury his cock in her pussy until she was begging him to stop.
   You kicked a rock, watching it bounce down the few steps of his front entrance as you groaned to yourself.
   It was cold, it was well past twenty minutes, and as much as you wanted to just turn around and leave—
   “Don’t tell me you’ve got an attitude already,” Bucky’s voice was rough as it came from behind you.
   He towered over you, leather jacket over his broad shoulders with his metal arm exposed. He looked like he had just been through hell, a few cuts on his lips and a blooming bruise on his cheekbone with probably many more littered over his body.
   They’d be gone in the morning. Just like you.
   “No, I-I was just,” he chuckled, cutting you off mid-sentence as he brushed by you to unlock and open the door.
   “Inside,” it was a gentle command, one that had you lifting your feet until you were inside and enveloped by the distinct smell of Bucky.
    Coffee, cinnamon, dirt, and cedar wood.
   “How was the missi—“
   You were cut off again.
   “Bedroom. Now. I don’t wanna repeat myself tonight, little girl.” He barked the command so firmly that you had to choice but to nod your head as you nearly hopped to the bedroom.
   Your excitement fizzled, panties damp as you heard his heavy footsteps following you. You heard the door shut before he snaked his heavy metallic appendage around you, resting his chin on your shoulder while his hot breath fanned over your neck.
   “I haven’t stopped thinkin’ of you,” he purrs, a soft gasp escaping you as you feel his cock press up against your ass.
   “My own hand just hasn’t been cuttin’ it, nothin’ compares to that sweet pussy of yours.” His words make you moan, leaning your head back against him as he chuckles lowly.
   “That’s it baby, just relax. Let me take care of you, gonna make you feel so fuckin’ good.” He promises, a promise he never breaks are his fingers massage your hips.
   “Gonna have you beggin’ me to stop, fuck you until you don’t remember your own goddamn name,” he growls, flipping you around to wrap a hand around your throat.
   It takes you by surprise, a strangled gasp passing through your lips, cut off when he applies pressure to the sides of your neck.
   “Wouldn’t you like that, my little slut.” He smirks before his lips are on yours in a searing kiss.
   He taste like copper, whiskey, and faintly like toothpaste as he shoves his tongue into your mouth. It’s rough and dirty, your body being slammed against the wall so hard something tumbles from his bookshelf.
   “Let me hear those whimpers, little girl. Lemme hear you beg for my cock.” There’s a darkness in his eyes as he says those words, your throat dry as you manage to pull him back by his collar against your lips.
  “Use me, Bucky.” You mumble, your breathing ragged as he curses under his breath.
  You feel weightless for just a moment before you’re plummeting onto his mattress, pillow around you as he tears your clothes off for you. 
  “That what you want, little girl? Want me to use you like the good little cockslut you are?” He taunts lowly, not giving you time to answer before his body is over yours.
  Flat on his belly he slides to the end of the bed until he’s level with your core, legs thrown over his muscled shoulders as he’s smirking down on you. 
  “Mmm, all this for me?” He cooes mockingly, running cool metal fingers through your folds as you shudder at the feeling. 
  “So fuckin’ wet,” he growls, “but let’s get you wetter.” He winks, the comment leaving you confused before he’s spitting onto your bare pussy, watching it glisten in the lowlight before he’s plunging two thick fingers into you. 
  “Oh how I’ve missed this pussy.” He groans, slowly fucking you open with his fingers. His mouth is hovering over your clit, hot breath making your stomach jump in need as you squirm under him. 
  When he gets his mouth over you, it’s game over. 
  Your eyes are closed, back arching off his bed as your fingers curl in the crinkled sheets as he licks you to endless orgasms. 
   You’re absolutely gasping for breath, “B-Bucky.” It’s the only thing you can croak out as he comes up from between your raw thighs; glistening, wet beard, and a dark smirk. 
  It’s a filthy sight to watch him wipe his mouth with the back of his hand as he yanks his shirt over his head, pants following soon after. He looks like he did two months ago, maybe even bigger as you gawk at him. 
  His cock bobs as he wraps his fist around it to pump himself. 
  “Open that sweet little mouth of yours,” and you do just that as you scamper to your knees. His tip passes through your mouth, salty with pre-cum as he hold your hair in a tight fist. 
  “Keep your eyes on me while I fuck your mouth.” He growls, hips stuttering before snapping in and out of your mouth. 
  You have to relax your throat, fingers digging into his thick thighs as you struggle to breath through the way his cock is gagging you. 
  “Such a good girl for me, takin’ my entire cock.” He smirks, slowly his pace as he yanks your head upwards to watch the way you wrap your lips around him.
  “But I wanna see it buried in that tight pussy of yours, sweetheart.” He clicks his tongue against his teeth before roughly pushing you back against the bed, bending your legs until they’re pressed up against your chest.
  He enters you in one long stroke, filling every inch of you and stilling as he gauges your reaction. 
  “How’s my cock feel in that pussy? Feel good, yeah? Bet you’ve missed the way I fill you up, the other guys just can’t fuck you like I can, hmm?” He taunts, your eyes shooting open at his comment. 
  How did he know? 
  “Don’t forget who fucks your brains out, baby girl.” He grunts before he’s wrapping his hand around your throat and snapping his hips against yours. 
  You can feel his thumb prying at your mouth, eyes struggling to stay open as your toes curl. 
  Wrapping your lips around his thumb you moan, hollowing your cheeks like you did around his cock just minutes earlier and Bucky lets out an animalistic growl before he’s locking eyes with you. 
  “Swallow,” he grunts, his spit landing in your mouth as you whimper, eagerly complying as you feel Bucky’s cock twitch inside of you. 
  “Gonna make me cum, fill you up ‘til you’re leakin’.” He groans, falling to his forearms as his body completely engulfs yours. 
  “And you’re gonna cum with me.” He pants before you’re feeling the coil deep inside of you snapping as the pleasure washes over you and takes all the breath from you. 
  Bucky spills inside of you, his cum leaking out of you as he rolls off of you with a heaving chest. 
  “Yeah, yeah that was what I needed.” He chuckles breathlessly as you nod, smiling at him. 
  You feel weightless as always, legs like jelly as you ran to the bathroom to clean yourself up, your heart breaking with each step you took. 
  When you remerged, Bucky was under the covers, phone in hand as he looked up at you. 
  “Do you wanna stay the night?” He whispered as you licked your bottom lip, dropping your head. 
  “No, I should get going.” You told him quietly as he nodded. Your words hung heavy in the air, telling yourself to be strong and leave quickly. 
  Bucky’s heart dropped lower into his stomach with each piece of clothing you added to yourself. 
  He had no one. No one but you, but even you, he barely had. 
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prettyboykatsuki · 3 years
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tell me again | e. kirishima 
➳ tags ;; fem!reader, disgustingly tooth rotting fluff, super cliche confession scene, kinda fuckboy kiri
➳ wc ;; 1.4k
➳ a/n ;; sometimes you just gotta write some corny fucking romance tropes man. 
➳ plot ;; after kirishima ghosted you post your confession, you don’t really plan on seeing him again. naturally when he shows up to your dorm during finals week - you’re not exactly sure what to do. 
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A knock on the door of your shared dorm room startles you out of a late night study session. At this time of night and during finals week - you don’t find yourself to be all that excited for whoever's at the other side. Your R.A., Iida is known for being a stickler and whatever news he brings won’t be good. 
You look over your shoulder at Mina, who instead of studying, has been playing 2048 on her laptop for the last hour. She looks back at you with an exasperated sigh leaving her lips, promptly pushing her laptop to the side. 
“Why is it always me who answers the door?” she groans. 
“Because you chose to study business,” you reply without missing a beat. She flips her middle finger off at you without a second thought but your nose is too deeply buried into your materials for you to care. 
The knocking gets more frantic as the seconds pass. 
“Coming!” she shouts it, irritation already filling her at whoever would be on the otherside. She swings it open, irritated beyond belief. In the midst of her preparing to cuss out whoever was on the other side at this hour, only a quarter of her sentence makes it out of her mouth. 
“Who the hell is -,” she stumbles, pauses. The words don’t even halfway make it out of her mouth before she blinks twice before stumbling back “Kirishima?” 
At this, your head snaps up to look behind you. You know you’re not visible from the door way, your desk opposite of view but you look anyway. You can’t see him but you can hear his voice. 
“Mina, hey - uh, is Y/N here? It’s uhm.. shit, I need to,” 
Mina crosses her arms above her chest, blocking Kirishima when he tries to look over her shoulder. You’re frozen in place and you think anyone in your position would be. 
Your.. relationship with Kirishima is complicated at best. You’d know him since you were freshman and after this semester, you’d managed to work out the courage to confess your feelings to him. You were certain he felt them back for you, ignoring his somewhat notorious reputation in hopes he was being genuine. He seemed awfully genuine to you. 
As it would be, you were met with rejection. It hurt but you weren’t worried about it either way. What you wanted was to remain friends, because Kirishima is awfully important to you. A confession shouldn’tve had made so much of a difference. You wished that’d been the case, anyway. 
But he.. left you like that. Left your friendship at the weird wits end where even when you saw each other on campus or elsewhere - there was no greeting. No hello or how are you. Uncomfortably, you faded into being strangers and you haven’t spoken to him in months.
“She’s not here,” 
Kirishima’s face twists up at the words. He looks over, just peers and shakes his head. 
“I can see the little colored lights that she keeps on to focus are on. I know she’s here. Please just let me talk to her,”
Mina turns her head slightly to make eye-contact with you. You shake your head softly, uninterested in what he has to say. Your heart feels too heavy. You know it’s kind of stupid but the wound feels fresh. Never-ending in how it aches. 
Mina doesn’t budge. 
“She doesn’t want to talk to you. Fuck off back to your dorm and leave us alone,” 
Mina pushes in on the door but he sighs, sticking his hand in even when she pushes in on it. He curses under his breath at the weight of it on his hand. Mina’s eyes go wide. 
“What the fuck are you -” 
“I know you can hear so I’ll just say it, shit” ― he curses under his breath but you catch ― “Even if Mina crushes my hand, please don’t though. You both know I don’t have health insurance,” 
You crack a warbly smile at the comment and Mina lets up but doesn’t open the door up. She keeps her hand steady on his, letting him writhe in mild pain. 
“I love you,” 
You freeze and so does Mina. Kirishima rests his forehead on the door with a soft sigh. Your heart skips a beat or two. You can’t keep track. 
“I know I fucked this up like.. really bad. When you told me you had feelings for me, at first it was.. I don’t know. It was like I couldn’t believe you,” 
You bite back tears as you listen to him. He can hear people in the rest of the dorm start to peek out but he doesn’t seem to stop.
“Shit, it was you. Not be corny but fuck like.. how the hell could I ever believed you liked me? Of all people, you chose me with a shitty fuckboy reputation and stupid haircut,” he laughs a little at this and so do you. 
“Kirishima..”  Mina mumbles
“It was too much. Like you’re so.. so much. But not in a bad way. Like the idea of being with you was just so damn overwhelming. And Bakugou told me not to be an idiot and ghost you but I was just so.. so scared,” 
You can hear the way his voice shakes. 
“I’ve never been with anyone seriously before and I’m kind of an idiot and I didn’t wanna fuck it all up. Like what if you realize half-way that it’s not me you want? What if.. what if we started dating and you realized that it was some kind of mistake?” 
“Eijirou...”
He smiles a little. The sound of your voice is soft like he remembers. He thinks it might be worth Mina breaking his hand if he gets to see you. 
“It was easier to break it off before it got serious, that’s what I thought. But then we didn’t talk for a few months and I was goin fuckin’ crazy thinking about you,” ― he laughs at the memory, drunk and dizzy from it ― “You don’t think you can miss one person so much. That just one person could mean so much to you.. like you’re incomplete without them there,’ 
You sniffle, wiping tears you hadn’t realized had fallen from your cheeks. 
“I think I’m in too deep. It was already too serious. I already.. loved you. I thought it’d be better if I just fucking.. ran here and told you,”  ― Mina opens the door up and steps to one side as you stumble towards it, tear eyed and in loose pajamas. Not confession ready in the least  ― “I thought maybe I’d get lucky and I’d have a chance of you at least.. forgiving me. Maybe if I was really lucky, you’d still like me too,” 
He shoves his hands in his pockets and stares at you, mouth curved into a half smile. So sincere, like always. You wonder to yourself if there would ever be a way to love him less. 
“So uhm.. I’m sorry. And I love you.. and it’d be sick if you like.. loved me back but it’s not necessary. I’ll do whatever you want just.. I dunno. Be in my life again, maybe?”
You run into his arms but he catches you. You’re a half conscious mess, sniffling into him as you punch his shoulder. He chuckles but hugs you back, wincing as you hit him. 
“Of course I love you, you stupid asshole,”  ― you whine, hugging him even tighter  ― “Your timing is shit, y’know that? Stupid -” 
He pulls back and leans into you. Lets his mouth bump into yours clumsily until you melt into a placating kiss. It’s all too much Kirishima - a gentle swipe of tongue and sharp teeth. Sweet but not enough. When he pulls away, he kisses the corners of your mouth. He’s too good at that, you think. 
“I know, but.. that’s why you like me right?” 
You roll your eyes, opting to keep clinging to him instead of replying. From behind you, Mina sighs. 
“I’m glad you stopped being a jackass but how the hell did you make it up here without Iida noticing,” 
From outside, there’s two loud but distinct voices. It’s Kaminari, screaming and Iida screaming back. When Mina walks over to peer outside, she catches an eyeful of a very naked and very drunk blonde. She cackles. 
“Uh.. I’ll just say I owe Kami a ton of money right mow,” 
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Wanna talk about how the pilots are attractive
this was sitting in my unholy drafts so @silverpaintedstars and @cielo-estrellado-neborium I'm dragging you down w/ me you gotta rb on main let's goo: Tyler Joseph
It's almost odd to me we find Tyler attractive because honestly he has few to no traits that I've ever seen considered conventionally attractive. (Don't get me wrong; I think it's good to find unconventional, underrated and nonconforming ppl attractive! I'm just saying in this case I dunno what makes this guy hot stuff so I find it o d d)
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He has really tired looking eyes and little muscle definition, kinda a nice jaw but idk, full lips, though i don't think that's generally accepted as an attractive trait in men (depending). His eyes are really pretty when he's actually showing any emotion /hj But then again like his fade is super damn good, love his no-shit attitude, that frickin' mcfrickin' stare dude I can't deal, his flows not great (ok) but all the things I mentioned above and his distinct and heartfelt speaking voice are things I find rlly hot Also, over the course of more than a decade no a decade and a half he's kept a youthful, deep-thinker yet shy breedable fuckboy charm that I just haven't seen in anyone else.
Also, ovary ripping bass riffs. If (fictionally, fictionally!) Tyler told me to get down on my knees for him, I would. I think rpf smut is wrong but my personal fantasies of a yes married man are between me and God alright!!11!1!! (They're always outside of any real world context anyway) I'm a horny teen I think I can get some slack. Moving on those space buns and flowery jacket thing I think contributed 17% of my bisexuality. (Even though the space buns were after I came out; just the energy of someone who would do that paired with his previous gender-role breaking fashion choices did a lot to me) I wanna kiss a precious boy.
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And his hands!! Why does nobody ever talk about his hands?!? Just look–
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and tell me you don't want to hold those pretty nimble digits up against your cheek and just mwah. So, like, 10/10, would date young Tyler, want to date young Tyler why can't I have a boyfriend (him)???!
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(Also he's got a nice ass)
And it's just funny to me if there's enough pictures of someone and enough interviews for you to see an odd curated splice of personality and mannerisms can you find anybody attractive? I mean personal preference and character/physical traits are still 100% a thing but I'm curious if liking a person for reasons other than being physically attractive but having a huge amount of media related to them does anything to shift your view of what you find characteristically pleasing or good-looking. I mean, im nearly certain it does, but it's an open question. I'm thinking also I usually like guys with shaggy or long hair almost exclusively so... Yeah.
Josh Dun Josh can I actually speak openly here I was a bit bigoted towards and found him ugly for a long while. Before I was actually a fan and had only seen like two MVs and a poster at my friends house I thought they were a stupid pin up band I kinda thought Josh looked weird. It was sorta like this thing I won't lie it was racial prejudice (I however did not read him as Asian at the time) but I did have similar phases with and when i thought Billie Joe and Gerard were ugly (for BJ it was the basket case MV [i thought his jaw was odd! I've since loved the look of crooked teeth billie] and it wasn't because Gerard has a chubby face I actually though his makeup in the I'm Not Okay MV was very unflattering [i also disliked that song till like three listens] what sold me on Gerard and the band was WTTBP MV, which actually my thoughts were 'his face is so soft and cute!!', and for BJ just realizing he'd gotten it fixed and it was class prejudice to messed up teeth that I'd internalized, it faded with more pictures of him younger when I saw just how pretty he was) anyway getting sidetracked I didn't like Josh's odd eyes or large nose till I watched several interviews and really started to get into the band, when I saw like more pictures of him from different angles and such and it actually hit me that I had a bias. At first I thought he was Korean (thanks tear in my heart), like I actually thought that until just earlier this year when someone shared a screenshot of a thing he'd posted on Instagram. He's Japanese, actually, and I really relate to him 'cause I'm biracial as well. But yeah now I think he's really pretty but like I don't want to dismiss there was an East Asian and mixed race features alarm that was going off in in my head and it upsets me that I don't know where I picked that up from. Because less about finding him attractive I never should've thought him displeasing and ugly on grounds of race!! Not finding him attractive, sure, I find lots of people not attractive, but actually thinking negatively of him because of his ethnicity? Goddamn... I think it's worth mentioning that I had no such phase with Tyler, whose non-white ancestry is much less noticeable and who I think [Lebanese descendants] can frequently pass as white. (also i don't think anyone's gonna come for me for saying he's white so i just will; he's white) I deeply apologize for my insolence, internalized phobia and lack of education, even though I never expressed it publicly. I also just wanted to share as a reminder that brief phases of distaste or bias don't make you a racist person! So long as you acknowledge and apologize and do better there's no harm done, and really it's such a tangled sticky web of finding anything non-white acceptable without fetishizing or hyper idealizing that it's really not all your fault for having momentary feelings of dislike or discomfort (especially over someone you aren't even meeting for real!) that stem from racial stereotypes and bigotry. And if you recognize and correct it, really no problem! Which can be waay more difficult than people make it out to be, if there's the added factor of being raised with demonizing beliefs, it'll probably take much longer or not happen at all with out proactivity to think positively of certain unidealized features or racial traits. Oh and you don't have to find them hot, you just shouldn't think of them as universally undesirable But if you do, you might find a certain Asian boy super stinkin' mothafuckin' sexy. And on that note back to assessing hotness....
If you can get past his occasional awkwardness, he's such a fricking smiley bean!! He has these two flip sides of like talkative librarian to sweaty studmuffin drum machine and when and where the switch happens is always unexpected but you never see him go from bod babe back to handsome book marm. He can only devolve sexiness where no one can see, I suppose, which makes sense.
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When he was doing all the wacky hair colors it damaged his hair a lot but even that was a look!
And ahhh regardless of anything he's just so pretty!!
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L-like have you seen his perfect curls and gorgeous smile and laugh and his gauges and pretty eyes and his voice when his eyes sort of glance off when talking and shirtless his face when he holds his drumsticks up and his arm tats and his tits and abs and my god bABE THOSE FUCKIN TITS 1000/10 want to love from afar, an absolute gorgeous man.
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Hope ur balls are ok so you can have kids just as pretty if you ever want to one day. Jenna Joseph Jenna is so beautiful I almost find it hard to say so because she's gorgeous in such a western way. Like bright blue eyes and wavy blonde hair while being average height and slender I almost feel bad thinking of her as attractive, everything about her is so widely accepted as such. I really, really love her open mind and kindness! Like just everywhere I see her I'm like oh okay! Someone called the sweet woman here to be amazing again!! Ahh why is she so cute!!! She looks a little too made up or 'perfect' to me at times but I can totally look past that, simply because I know being in the public eye a lot and running an active account on an image media website where it's mostly pictures of you is rlly, rlly difficult. Again I admire her openness! (tho i'd never be that person)
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Tyler definitely deserves someone like her, but I'm still confused why she decided a dunce like him who screams and smashes piano (implication intended) was worth it lol/lh She doesn't set off my bi-panic, though, kinda just a heterosexual appreciation. 8.5/10, want hugs from, want tea with. Maybe kiss. Really sweet mom (no milf you hoe)
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Debby Dun I have little to say about Debby. I think I'm still kinda in stupor at what is the weirdest real life crossover of all time for me. I've known her name and face for like... Eight years?? I used to watch Jessie every other time I visited my cousin's house. I have nothing against her, I just have nothing for her either. Like I saw vines of her and Josh in like 2019 but I didn't recognize her. I didn't know they'd been dating till everybody was leaking that they'd gotten married (which dick move btw, you seriously gonna get invited to a nice private wedding of a famous person and then leak photos and info online?? What the hell? Granted I think a private wedding is silly when you're gonna say like 'we may or may not be' because if you aren't why not just say no? Kinda outing yourself saying anything but no. But I get it on more of a matter of principle I guess) so yeah still a total shock to my real life multiverse, I dunno if I'll ever like fully grasp that they're part of the same space time continuum.
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About her though, she's traditionally pretty, I like her personality, think she's funny and sweet. Cute eyes, like her hair when she has it natural. 10/10 for the shawty energy. ...like I said I have little for her.
I don't think I'd have any interest in her unless they had kids NOT to disrespect whatever decision not to or family planning they have I'm just it's odd in my brain for married couples to not have kids and I'd be lying to not convey it I am honestly curious is that a Catholic thing does anybody else feel like or know of people who feel like that?
But like yeah idk she's just boring, sorry. Sweet and I'm glad she makes Josh happy, but boring. Afterword: I swear if any of them ever read this I'll rethink all my life choices and jump off a roof (onto a mattress) tl;dr: id suck off young tyler some poignant stuff about race w/ josh and it comes down to tits and smile jenna be pretty (no milf) debby shawty but she's also eh to me
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honeysidesarchived · 2 years
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iv. just like magic ✤ pre-cult au
john/elliot + “i can’t stop picturing you with him” + “you belong to me” + new year’s eve prompt “they were so distracted, they even missed the clock striking midnight” because i’m a GREMLIN and didn’t get your request for that done until NOW requested by @lilwritingraven
words: 2.5k
warnings: oh, u know. naughty words, john and elliot steamy make out in a cramped bathroom. i think that’s really all. oh, and elliot has an embarrassingly poor memory when it comes to men who aren’t john.
It’s fifteen to midnight on New Year’s Eve, and Elliot Honeysett has no one to kiss.
Well, that’s not entirely true; she has a date, who is almost certainly anticipating a clock-strikes-midnight kiss, and in a pinch she can convince Joey for a midnight smooch so that she’s not standing around like a big fucking idiot at party in the city where she’s floundering like a fish out of water.
I shouldn’t have come, she thinks idly, finger dragging at the rim of her glass where most of the alcohol remains untouched. She’s too stressed out to drink. There are two—two—instances in which she wants to drink herself to oblivion, and as she neither listening to her mother talk about the timeline for grandbabies nor has her abandonment-prone father cropped back up, so her stress only makes her crave sobriety more. Can’t be spinning out of control, can we, if we can help it?
In fact, her date is making eyes at her from across the room, and Joey is somewhere out of immediate reach, and the boy—Dakota? Maybe?—is very nice, he’s very nice, and—
(And that’s exactly the problem, isn’t it, that Dalton (???) is nice, but in a way that feels cloying, and his eyes are two degrees the wrong shade of blue and he keeps his facial hair close-trimmed and he doesn’t have a single lick of ink on his body, and these are significant problems that immediately remind her of the person that she wants to be kissing, which makes him so, so, so unattractive.)
—and he’s making his way across the house right that second, and Elliot doesn’t want to explain to him in a categorized list why she actually can’t kiss him (“Do you want it alphabetical, or more like…chronological?”), so she turns on her heel like she didn’t just make eye contact with him and beelines it out of the living room.
It’s a house party. That’s all it is. It’s a house party in the city, because Elliot and Joey are spending the holidays in Georgia with her mother and Joey said that she’d fucking die if they had to spend New Year’s Eve listening to Scarlet lament the lack of “good help” available “these days”. As if she has ever had anything less than pristine house staff.
So they came out to a house party. And Joey found her a nice boy, so that she can have someone to kiss at midnight.
And she doesn’t want to kiss him at all.
She moves so fast from the living room that she runs headfirst into a firm, solid body, promptly spilling the entirety of her drink all over the poor soul that had the distinct misfortune of being in her path. For a second, Elliot opens her mouth to apologize—sorry, so sorry, fuck, I’m so sorry, how much was that shirt, I can buy you a new one—but then her eyes land on that face and she promptly snaps her mouth shut.
“Jesus Christ, do you have any idea how much this—”
John is looking down at his shirt, drenched in vodka and something else, when his eyes finally meet hers. And then all irritation is wiped from his face—maybe not from his eyes, entirely—and a wicked grin splits across his expression. It immediately sends her heart fluttering, and she thinks maybe it’s just because she likes eyes exactly his shade of blue.
“Ell,” he greets her, his voice a slick purr, “you could have just texted if you wanted to get in touch.”
“I didn’t know it was you, John,” Elliot snaps, “and I wasn’t trying to spill my drink on your stupid shirt.” And then: “You look like a fuckboy in it, anyway.”
“It’s the Lacoste you picked out, last summer.”
“And you thought I didn’t pick it out to make fun of you?” she prompts, meticulously uninterested. It’s a careful facade which must be upheld at all times, of course—not caring about John Seed. “That’s very cute.”
The brunette fans the shirt away from his body, grinning at her, and the expression reaches straight to his eyes—blinks at her through those dark lashes, and for a second she forgets that she broke up with him two months ago because he’s insufferably full of himself, constantly impatient, and hates her job.
“Can’t believe you accosted me,” he tsks, undoing the top buttons of the polo.
Elliot says, “Don’t be a fucking baby. You wasted my whole drink.”
Pulling the shirt off over his head—because of course he fucking would, of course he doesn’t mind peeling it off right there, the narcissistic motherfucker—John slings the shirt across his shoulder and takes a step toward her. There’s already so little space between them, having been in close enough proximity to spill almost all of her drink on him instead of the floor, which means that he’s suddenly invading all of her personal space with that expensive cologne and the faint scent of vodka and—ah, yes. It had been a vodka soda she was drinking.
“Get you a new one,” John offers in a sleek rumble.
For a second, her brain short-circuits: John Seed, exceptionally handsome and insufferably egotistical, crowding up against her at a house party in an expensive neighborhood of Atlanta, fifteen (now ten) minutes to midnight on New Year’s Eve, is her greatest weakness. Mostly, it’s that he’s shirtless, but the other things help too.
“With someone,” Elliot manages out, clearing her throat. “I mean—I’m here. With someone.”
John arches a brow loftily and opens his mouth, certainly about to reply that he doesn’t see anyone with her right now, when a hand glides onto the small of her back and she sees David smiling at her, bright and handsome and just. So sweet.
“You tryin’ to start your own party or something?” her date asks her amusedly, eyes glittering with warmth. He leans down and presses a kiss to her temple, closer to the top of her cheekbone. He’s been doing that all night. Inching closer and closer to her mouth with his shy little kisses.
“N-No,” Elliot says quickly. “John, this is—my…date.”
Dalton? David? Dominic.
A moment lays, suspended between the party of three, where someone is clearly waiting for Elliot to introduce her date whose name she cannot remember for the life of her—and then she doesn’t. So her date laughs and picks up the slack easily and holds his hand out to John.
“Daniel,” he says, and Elliot quickly makes a mental note of that. “It’s nice to meet you, John.”
“Likewise,” John replies, though he’s not nearly as enthused as before. “Daniel’s a biblical name, isn’t it?”
Elliot groans. “Don’t.” When her date looks at her inquisitively, she sighs. “All of John’s siblings are named after Biblical figures.”
“That’s fun,” Daniel says, even though it isn’t. “How do you two know each other?”
“Dated,” John offers up, and as he goes to say, “Long-term, too,” Elliot interjects, “just for a wink,” and they look at each other.
Daniel clears his throat. He stares at Elliot and John for a moment before he goes, “Your glass is empty. Can I get you another drink?”
“Please,” she eeks out, amidst the burning humiliation that comes with having absolutely no control over the situation, and passes him her glass. Fuck, where is Joey? She can dig her own grave, but she’ll need someone to dump the dirt over her once she climbs in. “Thank you, David.”
He gives her another long, searching look, one that she doesn’t quite understand the intention of, before he walks off with the glass in his hand. After two seconds of him being gone, John is very clearly trying to stifle his laughter.
“What?” Elliot grinds out. “If you’re about to say something narcissistic and cruel, John, he’s very handsome and I—”
“You called him the wrong name,” he says, gleefully.
“No I didn’t,” she replies instantly, but then the mortification washes over her, panic setting in. His name was Daniel. Not David. “No,” she says anyway, again, “I—said…Daan—”
“David,” the brunette clarifies. His eyes are bright. “You said David. His name is—and we can say it together, this time, with feeling—”
Elliot sucks in a sharp little breath. “Fuck you.”
“I’d love it,” John replies as quick as instinct, voice pitching low, “more than anything.”
And there it is—wretched, vicious man, sinking his claws right back into her just like that, like it’s nothing, like she’s completely incapable of holding her own against a man she broke up with.
Her face flushes scarlet. She doesn’t even have the excuse of being drunk. Where the fuck is Joey?
“Elliot,” John starts, but she clears her throat.
“Should wash out your shirt,” she says abruptly, snatching it from his shoulders and gripping it in her now-empty fist, “otherwise it’s going to be sticky and you’re going to bitch about it and send me an invoice.”
And she turns on her heel and marches to the nearest bathroom. Anything to get some space between her and John, anything to get her a little fucking breathing room. This whole thing had been a mistake from the get-go; she shouldn’t have ever agreed to coming to this party. But Joey is making out with a pretty red-head, she sees on her way to the bathroom, and it’s her duty, as a best friend wingman, to not end the festivities early.
Of course, taking the shirt to the bathroom had been a bad idea, because while it provides her a temporary reprieve from John’s closeness, he’s soon sliding into the bathroom behind her and shutting the door.
“Anyway, I’ve been having a great time,” Elliot says, which isn’t true, turning the water on cold and running her fingers under it for a minute even though she doesn’t need to. “He’s very nice. And—”
“I’m glad you’re here,” John interrupts, and he’s crowding up behind her, meeting her eyes in the mirror, and he’s shirtless, and it’s so fucking unfair. “You haven’t been answering my calls.”
“We—” She clears her throat, sticking the shirt under the water. “Broke up.”
“So you’re going to ignore me?”
“Well I work,” she snaps. Her fingers scrub the polo uselessly. “I have a fucking job. And, I’ll remind you, I’m here with someone, so if you want to give me a little more—”
“Ell,” he murmurs, his voice low, his mouth against her ear, “are you trying to make me jealous?”
Yes, everything in her says as his hands cage her in against the sink, just the way that he knows she likes. “I’m not that petty.”
“It’s working.” He makes a low, despondent sound, the timbre of it rumbling against her skin, and it’s so fucking ludicrous, how can someone be so attractive when they’re complaining?
Elliot slaps her hand down on the faucet to stop the water and turns around, steeling herself against him. “I’m not—”
“I can’t stop picturing you with him, and I hate it,” John says, their foreheads touching and their noses brushing—and it���s so unfair, so fucking unfair, he is so attractive and she misses the way that he kisses her. She’s fucking weak and she hates it. “Is that what you want, hellcat? A nice boy named Daniel to mix you a drink and kiss you at midnight?”
“Fuck,” Elliot says, about to say You, but he’s kissing her. His hands immediately go to her hips through the flimsy black silk of her dress and he hoists her onto the sink’s counter so that he can sidle between her legs, closer closer closer, always discontent with how much of her skin is within reach.
He kisses her like he’s hungry—a man, starving, for her, Elliot Nobody Honeysett, backwater hicktown Deputy with nary a designer anything to her name, but he’s hungry for her all the same. He kisses her, and from there on out it’s No Man’s Land: there’s no Joey, no crowd of people, no Nice Boy Dalton (Daniel) to make sure she’s behaving herself, and so she knots her fingers in his hair and kisses him back.
Stupid, she thinks, even when her lips part for him almost immediately, especially when she moans into his kiss because his teeth drag on her lip. Stupid, stupid fucking girl, you can’t, you can’t.
But she is. John’s breath fans hot and silky against her neck and she feels her lashes flutter, his hands sliding up under the hem of her dress, and it’s so fucking loud—loud, and hot, and the sink started running again because she bumped it, that neither she nor John pay any attention to the countdown starting outside.
“I don’t think you do,” John rumbles, voice thick and laden with desire. “Want a good boy. Do you, Ell?”
“Shut the fuck up,” she grinds out, “and kiss me, fuckface.”
He grins against her mouth and yanks her hips against his. It’s tight; the bathroom’s small, meant to be a quick stop, and certainly in a house like this there’s a bigger master bathroom that would be much more comfortable, if they could just—
Stop, she thinks furiously, stop mapping out a route to get fucked in.
A whimper pitches out of her when John slides his arm under her and hauls her closer still. Her fingers dig into his bare shoulders, and he says, “Love when you make that sound, Ell, so fucking good—no good boy for you, isn’t that right?”
“No,” she gasps obediently against his mouth. Later, she will think back on the absurdity of the moment: she has a perfectly nice boy waiting to kiss her come midnight waiting outside, and she and John are making out like fucking teenagers in a tiny, cramped bathroom.
Yes, later, she will think back on the absurdity of the moment, and feel a great deal of shame. For now, she thinks only of John, and the way he grips her hips with his hands until she moans and the way he says, “You belong to me,” and how if anyone else said that shit, they’d get clocked in the fucking face, but with John it’s—
Different.
It’s always different.
The whole thing is all very distracting. John, bunching her skirt up around her hips so that he can get her closecloseclose, ever craving her touch, and her ever craving to be touched; John, breathing her name against her mouth; John, John, John, doing anything, doing literally anything is so distracting and all-consuming that it’s like there’s no oxygen left in the room anymore for her to breathe.
“Fucking missed you,” he sighs, kissing her palm, the inside of her wrist. “You know I can’t get enough of you. So tell me you missed me, too—”
Went to wash out his shirt, she’ll tell David, and we got distracted.
That’s a good way to put it. We’re distracted, Elliot thinks, gliding her hands along his shoulders and kissing him again. That’s all. Just distracted.
They’re so distracted, they even miss the clock striking midnight.
But at least she got her kiss.
25 notes · View notes
lovely-ateez · 3 years
Text
Favorite Place~
ꕥPosted: 3/8/21
ꕥGenre: College!au, Angst, Fluff
ꕥPairing: FemReader! x Emo!Hongjoong
ꕥWord Count: ~4.8k
ꕥWarnings: General angst (happy ending), Unknown man being creepy to reader, Characters insulting reader behind her back, Alcohol intake, Driving with a few sips of alcohol (please don’t drink and drive), Implied violence, Language, Oral (f recieving), Unprotected sex, Corruption kink, Language
ꕥA/N: Reader is a girly-girl bc we need more rep that isn’t hella negative and to actually be portrayed as smart and hardworking for once 😤 You👏can👏be👏both👏 ANyWay—thank you for bearing with me while I wrote this
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I ran my hands along the open science textbook laying upon my desk, eyes scanning rapidly over the information. The pages were thin and flimsy, clearly showing the book’s age. If I wasn’t careful, the pages would rip with ease. Not that I had time to actually think about that.
In less than five minutes I, along with the twenty five other poor souls who took this class of their own volition, would be handed our last final for the class. A hundred and ten questions in an hour and thirty minutes.
The class was basically academic suicide and had I been told that, I would have stayed far, far away from the class. But no. No one bothered to run that by me.
A whiff of familiar cologne filled my nose and against my better judgement I looked up to find the class genius, Hongjoong Kim. It was bad enough that he was smart as a whip and never needed to study, but on top of it all he was a dangerous, handsome, irresistible bad boy.
He gave me a wink, a sly smile resting on his lips. I gave him the same reaction I always did: a blank face. There had been multiple times he had tried to rile me up, whether that be say something flirty or wink, or “accidentally” touch my shoulder, and I refused to give him the satisfaction of any reaction. I would keep a blank face, hoping that he would leave me alone.
I wasn’t immune to his charms. I felt butterflies in my stomach every time he looked at me just like any other girl he tried it on, but I didn’t want him to know that. The biggest reaction I had given him was an eyebrow quirk at most.
I could tell it bothered him. I knew he was frustrated that he couldn’t get me to blush or stutter my words, and that may have been part of why he kept up his antics. Probably the entire reason, knowing him. Had he not been a fuckboy, I might have fallen for him. Might have.
I returned my eyes to my book and heard his footsteps walk past me, headed to the very back of class. His usual spot.
“Alright ladies and gentlemen,” A loud clap could be heard from the front of the room, our professor signalling the start of class, “It is time for your final. I hope you all are well prepared. I ask that you remove anything from your desk aside from a pencil and I will begin to hand out the tests. You may leave as you finish, just make sure to hand me your tests before you leave. Good luck.”
Book already off my desk, I gripped my pencil, hoping six hours of studying was enough.
“Thank you.” I muttered to my professor as he placed the stack of papers on my desk.
Here goes nothing, I suppose.
-
I handed in my test with a smile, hoping that I’d pass. Taking a deep breath I stepped out of the classroom, seeing a familiar face. At the noise of my footsteps Hongjoong looked up from his phone with a devilish smile, eyes staring me down. I must’ve not noticed he turned in his test before mine, not that I was surprised. He always finished his test the quickest out of all of us.
“How’s it going, pretty-in-pink?”
Pink was my favorite color and and I wore pink clothes often, unfortunately it had earned me several unwanted nicknames, all coming from Hongjoong.
I barely bothered him a glace, “I have a name.” 
“But your nicknames are so unique to you. Don’t you love them?”
“Can’t say I do.” I walked away, not interested in entertaining him any longer than I already had.
“Farewell, princess.” He fleeted me with a honey-like voice.
Suppressing an eye roll, I gripped the straps of my backpack, ecstatic to get away from him. The more time I spent away from him the better. The less time I was with him meant there was less of a chance for me to get attached to him. I refused to let that happen.
After I left the building I grabbed a coffee and walked to the library, bracing the cold weather. I only had one final left and I needed to make sure I studied enough. Just one last push before I was done for the semester. Taking the elevator up to the third floor, I saw a familiar face who smiled at me and I sat down at his table.
“Hey! How do you think you did on the final?” Lia asked me as I took my laptop out.
“Honestly I don’t know. I don’t want to say I passed because knowing my luck, if I do I’ll fail it. I knew the majority of the answers though, so there’s that.”
“That’s a positive.” She cocked her head, observing the way my eyes were glued to my laptop, “So what are you studying for now?”
“Criminal Psychology. I don’t take it until late tomorrow but I wanna get some studying in.”
“You’ve been studying for hours, you’ll be fine. Let’s just go shopping instead.”
My ears perked and I slowly raised my head, “Damn you. You know I’m not gonna turn you down.”
A wide smile formed on her face as she placed her hands behind her head, “What are friends for?”
“Oh don’t look so cocky.”
“Why not? I’m pretty sure I’ve won here. Now let’s get going.”
Lia stood up and slid on her backpack, a smile still plastered on her face. Just as I was placing my laptop in my own backpack I heard a string of male voices and a mention of my name.
I gave Lia a look and, curiosity taking over, I snuck closer to the direction of the voices to see a group of men at a table hid behind a large stack of bookshelves. There were four of them, not a one of them sitting properly in a chair. Two were sitting on top of the table, another with his legs propped on the table, the other sitting upon a backpack which itself was on a chair. I could only see two of their faces and didn’t recognize either.
“We’ve gotta invite the token good girl, right?” A tall man with dark hair smiled, leaning back on the table.
A man with distinct dimples, clad in all black scoffed, “Y/n? Like she’d go to a party anyway.”
“She might.” Hongjoong tiled his head, allowing me to see him, black earrings swaying as he looked at the man with dimples.
Oh. He’s there, too.
“She dresses like she still believes in the tooth fairy.” A man with a blonde ponytail scoffed, “You think she’s gonna come to a party with people like us?”
I grabbed Lia’s arm to prevent her from storming over. She was upset, I was too, but I wanted to keep listening. Still, I couldn’t deny the pang of hurt I felt as I looked down at my pink skirt and cropped top. Was it a crime to like the color pink?
And I thought I looked cute today...
“You should be the last person to judge someone over the way the dress, Yeosang. You never wear anything but black. If she likes it, then she likes it. Fuck you.” Hongjoong bit back.
I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I didn’t know why he defended me, maybe he was just defending fashion for fashion’s sake and it had nothing to do with me, but it was still nice of him.
Yeosang smiled, “Damn someone’s aggressive, huh? Someone might almost think you’ve got feelings for the girl.”
Hongjoong remained silent.
“Ooh is she still not reacting to your desperate attempts to woo her?”
Hongjoong quickly became defensive, “Listen, I’m not-”
“Okay we’re not getting into this. Just invite her, you never know what she’ll say.” The dark-haired man said to Hongjoong, “And invite her friend, too. She wouldn’t go alone.”
“Yeah that’s a fair point. I’ll talk to them next time I see them.”
I turned to face Lia, whispering in her ear, “Let’s go. Please.”
Her face told me that she would much rather confront them, but changed as my eyes began to water once more. She nodded and put an arm around me, leading me out of the library.
A tear fell down my cheek as we walked. I raised my hand to wipe my face when Lia did it for me. She pulled me into a tight hug, running her hands through my hair.
“Don’t you think for a second that you’re any less of amazing. Fuck them for not seeing it.”
As she spoke more tears began to fall and my breath hitched, “But-t they-”
“No. There’s no excuse for being shitty to you, especially when you haven’t done anything to wrong them.”
I nodded, trying my best to believe her and steady my breathing.
“What can I do for you? What can I do to help?”
Releasing Lia from my tight grip I stepped back and looked in her eyes, “Nothing. Let’s just go shopping.”
My friend nodded and slipped her hand into my own, something she would always do when I needed comfort. I squeezed her warm hand, following her footsteps as she led me to her car.
“So...you’re not gonna go to the party are you?”
“Yeah I don’t think so.”
She let out a hum in approval and nodded, opening the car door for me.
As much as I wanted to take my mind off of the boys’ words, I couldn’t. No amount of retail therapy seemed to help that. I knew Lia was doing her best to make me feel better and I felt a bit guilty for bringing down the mood. She scoffed when I told her, making eye contact and emphasizing that she simply wanted to make me feel better.
Sooner than I liked, we had to part. Lia had a class in thirty minutes and I had to help out in an on-campus activity. She gave me a tight hug and a small smile, bidding me adue.
I was the Vice President of our Activities Planning Board and as such was in charge of setting up an Academic Bowl for the competing students. Unfortunately, I was having trouble setting up the large tables and my small frame just made it harder. I was confident anyone around could see that I was struggling and I huffed, hoping no one would look my way. It didn’t help that I was outside in the middle of campus, where anyone just walking by could see me.
“Do you need any help?”
I turned to find Hongjoong with his dark backpack slung over his shoulder, a concerned look on his face. Had I not desperately needed help, I would have refused.
“Yeah I do. Hold this, will you?” I nodded at the opposite side of the table I was struggling to hold.
He appeared shocked that I accepted his offer, but I didn’t dwell on it and instead lifted the table. We worked in silence aside from a few words of instruction I gave him, and I was thankful for the lack of distraction. When we set up the last table I placed my hands on my hips, looking at the tables.
Hongjoong crossed his arms, “Why were you doing this alone?”
“No one else signed up to help for the Academic Bowl, so I did it myself.” He gave a confused look so I clarified my position.
“Of course you’re the Vice President.” Hongjoong muttered.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I faced him, feeling slightly offended.
He shrugged, “I know you’re just involved in a lot. I’m not surprised.”
Ignoring his comment, I took the conversation another direction. “Why did you help me?”
“You needed help, princess.” He answered simply.
I nodded, ignoring the nickname. “Well...thanks.”
A moment of silence followed until Hongjoong broke it, “Hey listen, there’s a party this weekend I want you to go.”
“Why?” I cocked my head.
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t know anyone that will be there.”
“You know me.”
“That’s not exactly an incentive.”
He scoffed in mock offense, “Okay first of all, ouch. Second, what if I sweeten the deal?”
My eyebrows raised, lips forming a smile, “Oh yeah? What could that possibly be?”
He faltered for a moment, his voice lowering seemingly without intent, “That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile. You’re beautiful.”
I turned from him, trying to will any semblance of a flustered expression off my face. “You were saying before?”
Hongjoong chuckled, “I’ll drive. You can even invite your friend if you want.”
“Lia?”
“Yeah. If it makes you more comfortable.”
At first, I wanted to say no. At first, I wanted to continue my streak of refusing any advance he made on me. But looking at his kind eyes, completely devoid of any malintent, I felt my heart flutter. When my mind thought back to how he had defended me in the library I felt a warmth bubbling in my chest. I pretended to ponder for a moment, even though I already knew my answer.
“Okay but I don’t...I don’t think I should tell Lia.”
“Why’s that?”
“She kinda hates you.”
He looked taken aback, “Might I ask why?”
I sighed, crossing my arms, “Don’t worry about it. So where is this party?”
He filled me in on the details and I did my best to keep up my neutral façade. I wouldn’t admit it, but I was ecstatic to see him outside of campus, my will of staying away from him faltering by the minute.
-
I stood in front of my closet for what seemed like hours, desperately trying to find something that would match the occasion. I laughed a bit to myself as I looked at the section of black clothes I had. I went through a bit of an emo phase in middle school and I just couldn’t bring myself to get rid of any of them. I debated avoiding black clothes all together, but the words of Yeosang rang in my head and I bit the inside of my cheek.
Fine. I’ll change it up. But I’ll be damned if I give up on pink.
Taking a deep breath I slipped into a light pink leather skirt reaching mid-thigh with black fishnets. I put on a black leather jacket over my black see through shirt exposing my lacy bra underneath, my pink shoes on last.
I took several deep breaths and observed myself in the mirror. It was a change, definitely. I didn’t mind black, but I wouldn’t wear just black alone. I wanted it to be more feminine.
I heard a car horn outside my apartment much sooner than I expected. Bracing for Hongjoong’s reaction, I stepped outside. I was greeted with a smug smile, the man adorning it seeming as confident as a god until he observed my clothes, his eyebrows raising.
Hongjoong’s eyes scanned over me, taking in my abrupt fashion change, “I still wasn’t entirely certain you’d go. Much less looking like this.”
My lips quirked into half-smile, “Well I can’t show up looking like I normally do.”
“Why not?”
My heart swelled at the genuine confusion evident on his face. “Some people don’t care for the way I dress.” I took a breath and continued, “I heard you and your friends in the library.”
I forced myself to look him in the eyes. I could see the gears turning in his head as he put the pieces together, a scowl forming on his face. “You don’t have to change a goddamn thing. You look great, don’t get me wrong, but you look great in pink, too. And I’m sorry if he made you feel otherwise.”
I shook my head. “It’s alright, I actually kinda like it.”
“You definitely make it work.” He swallowed, voice lowering.
“Then maybe I should wear a bit of black more often.”
The man gave a thousand dollar smile, quirking a brow that left my panties feeling slightly damp. He motioned to the car door, “Hop in, cutie.”
A friendly string of conversation followed us as Hongjoong drove. I felt my nerves starting to dissipate, his smile I once despised now bringing me comfort. And really, he was much funnier than I had believed. I found myself laughing with him more than I had in a long time. I knew my walls were falling, but I wasn’t trying to fight it anymore.
Why the hell not? He’s kind enough, and he isn’t even close to being hard on the eyes.
The car drive was much quicker than I expected, although how quickly I was unfamiliar with my surroundings through me for a loop. The trees around us became more sporadic and the sun set quicker than what seemed normal. I fidgeted slightly, prompting Hongjoong to look over at me. He intertwined my fingers with his own and I smiled, secretly welcoming his touch.
“Hey, don’t worry. I’m right here with you, okay?”
I nodded, grasping onto his hand tightly. Before I knew it, my eyes locked with the building in front of us. I took in the abandoned building in front of me, eyes widening slightly as I observed its poor condition. Large windows were shattered, vines were growing around pillars, grass peaking through what once was concrete.
“This is the most sketchy place I’ve ever seen in my life.” I spoke, feeling slightly alarmed by the building but comforted by Hongjoong’s presence.
“Oh come on, it’s not that bad.”
“I literally just saw a rat run out a broken window.”
Hongjoong suppressed a smile and let go of my hand, opening his car door and telling me to stay in place as he walked around and opened the door on my side. I hesitated as I exited the car, a bit afraid of what could possibly be inside the building.
“We can leave at anytime. If you don’t want to go in we can leave right now. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
As sweet as he was being, I felt the need to prove to him that I was brave enough to enter, even if it did look like he was leading me to my death.
“Thank you, but I’m okay. We can go in.”
He smiled, leading me to an out-of-the-way entrance which seemed to lead to a different building entirely. I gave an involuntary “woah” as we entered the building. As horrific as it looked on the outside, it was gorgeous on the inside. Perfectly up kept brick walls hugged the sides of the building, lights were strung from the ceiling, arcade machines and dart boards were huddled in a corner, and of course, there was a bar with a seemingly unlimited amount of liquor. People were scattered all throughout, socializing and being generally loud. Everyone wore about the same color clothes as Hongjoong, dark as they could possibly get.
“How did you even find this place?”
“My friend Yeosang and I were just driving around and we found it one day. Decided to make it our hangout spot.”
I looked at him confused, still amazed at my surroundings. Hongjoong led me over to his familiar group of friends, assuring me that they wouldn’t bite, and introduced me to the seven men, four of which I hadn’t seen prior. I saw the color drain from a few of their faces as they saw me, likely from their words in the library, but I didn’t comment on it. Overall, they were much friendlier than I expected them to be.
“I’m gonna get a drink,” Hongjoong nudged me, “You want anything?”
“No that’s okay. I think I’m gonna check out the pinball machines. They look kinda cool.”
“You sure you don’t wanna stay by my side? I won’t take long.”
I shook my head, “I’ll be okay.”
He chucked, “Alright. I’ll grab a drink and I’ll head right over, princess.”
I bit my lip at the nickname and wandered over to the machines, surprisingly feeling comfortable in the environment, despite everything being so unfamiliar. All of the games were being used, some people clearly playing better than others.
I got lost in the artwork on the side of a particular pinball machine when a gruff voice caught my attention. “What’s a pretty thing like you doing here?”
I turned to meet a tall man with grey hair. He was young, likely in his mid-twenties, and reeked of cigarettes and a foul smell I couldn’t place.
A flash of fear ran through me and I tried to make my voice as confident as possible, “I was invited.”
“Well...that’s certainly a shame now, isn’t it? I wasn’t invited, but I decided to show up for a bit of fun anyway.”
He came closer to me, our height difference incredibly prominent as he leaned over me, “How about you give me a kiss, little thing?” I ran away as soon as the words left his mouth, hoping that he wouldn’t follow me but assuming he would. I dashed around quickly and sporadically around people, hoping I would lose him.
I looked around desperately for Hongjoong, sighing when I found him surrounded by his friends, laughing at something one of them said. I ran up to him and grabbed his arm, gaining his attention.
I hope this fucking works.
“I need you to kiss me.”
A look of confusion flashed in his eyes, “What?”
“Please kiss me.” I begged, eyes wide, disregarding the stares of his friends around us, hoping that if the man saw I was taken he’d leave me alone.
Without hesitation he wrapped his free hand around my waist—a cup of alcohol still in the other—and pulled me close, pressing his lips to my own. He kissed me hard, biting my bottom lip slightly and letting out a growl only I could hear. He wasn’t my first kiss, far from it, but no one had ever kissed me like he did. Just a kiss had never left me feeling weak at the knees. Just a kiss had ever made me feel so submissive, making me want to beg him to take me right on the spot, regardless of the fear in my veins. Even with the taste of alcohol still on his lips, his scent overtook me.
He pulled back, eyes darker than before, and raised a brow, “Care to tell me what that was about?”
Just then I realized my hands had been gripping his leather coat, pulling him just as close as he was pulling me. I looked over in the direction of where the man was before, not seeing him.
“A man was following me and he was trying to get me to kiss him a-and I didn’t know him...I just wanted him to leave me alone.”
His eyes narrowed at my words, a rage I hadn’t seen before taking over them, “What did he look like?”
“I-I don’t know he was tall and had grey hair and-”
He cursed under his breath. Keeping me just as close he turned to the men around him, their eyes narrowed as well.
“You heard that?” He asked his friends.
“Loud and clear.” San said, cracking his knuckles, a scowl on his face that scared me, even though I knew I wasn’t the one it was directed at.
“I thought we told him to never come back here.” Jongho snarled.
“We did.” Hongjoong said.
Seonghwa looked at me, nodding to Hongjoong, “Keep her safe and take her out of here. If he’s here I’m sure he’s brought friends. Yeosang, lead everyone out. We’ll take care of him.”
Hongjoong looked conflicted, obviously wanting to stay and fight, but gave into the older man’s command. “Be fucking safe,” he barked, but I could see the fear in his eyes as he looked at me, “Come on, we’re going.”
Seonghwa mumbled something to Hongjoong and he nodded in response, tossing his alcohol to the ground. I didn’t have time to ask questions as he led me out a back door, the darkness of the night equally horrifying and comforting, and quickly pushed me into his car, apologizing the entire time. He entered the key into the ignition and the car sprung to life.
“Uhh...maybe it’s not a good idea for you to drive. You’ve been drinking, right?”
“I had maybe two sips. I’ll drive safe, promise.”He gave me a small comforting smile, “Put your seatbelt on. Hold on tight, sweetheart.” His voice was calm but firm as he spoke. I nodded and did as he said, bracing as his car sped off, my heart beating in overtime.
The ride was a blur, the only things I could remember being Hongjoong’s calming voice, periodically reassuring me that things would be okay. We arrived at a foreign building which Hongjoong called his house, and only then did I let myself fall apart. I felt tears streaming down my face as my hands quivered, my head beginning to pound.
“Hey, hey look at me. You’re safe. You’re safe with me.” My teary eyes met his and I felt my heart break at the way he was looking at me, as if he had made me cry himself.
“Here, come on. Let’s get you inside, okay?”
My tears slowed as he carefully led me inside his house, sitting me down on his bed. He crouched down in front of me, wiping the tears from my face.
“I’m so sorry, princess. I didn’t realize he was going to be there. I never should’ve made you come along I’m so-”
“Who was that?”
Hongjoong sighed, “He used to be a friend of mine. We had a falling out and he became violent. One time he showed up at one of our parties with some friends of his to start a fight. We won and told him to never come back. Looks like he did.” He looked off into nowhere, regret clear on his face.
“You didn’t know,” I sniffled, “You couldn’t have known.”
I watched the muscles in his jaw tighten, his agitation still visible. I brought a hand out to reach his own, trying to comfort him. The loud ding of Hongjoong’s phone made me jump and he apologized profusely. As he took out his phone from his pants pocket I looked around his room for the first time. It looked exactly as I had expected, solid black furniture and so many band posters decorating the wall I could hardly tell what color his bedroom walls were.
Hongjoong spoke up, “I just got a text from Seonghwa. There were two other people there with him. My friends took care of them don’t worry, you’re safe.”
I nodded, pulling him into a hug and burying my face into his chest. “If you’re comfortable with it,” He started, “I’d like you to stay here. I want to know you’re safe.”
My eyes met his as he moved a hair out of my face, “I’m not pressuring you. If you don’t want to I understand.”
A hand of his ran up and down my back, tracing little patterns here and there, and I realized just how much I wanted to be with him.
“If it’s alright with you, I’d like to stay.”
He laughed, “What do you mean ‘if it’s alright with you’ I asked.”
I bit my bottom lip and looked down, a bit embarrassed.
Hongjoong laughed, “Hey, look at me.” He said in a commanding yet sweet tone that made my thighs press together. I glanced back up at him, his handsome features making me feel dizzy.
He chuckled, “What’s that look for? You got something to say to me?”
I hesitated, “Actually, I do have a question.”
“Which is?”
“Why did you chase after me?”
Hongjoong smiled, “You never gave a reaction to anything I tried. It confused me and piqued my curiosity. So I began to watch you and how you interacted with people. You’re gentle and sweet. You’re innocent and haven’t let the world tear you down. I admire that.”
He leaned closer to me, his lips brushing my ear, “And it turned me on beyond belief. I wondered how I could ruin you, thought about how I could turn you into a quivering mess as you beg for me.”
I shivered and pulled back slightly to look him in the eyes. His beautiful, dark eyes. Hongjoong let out a dark chuckle as he sat on his bed, lifting me on his lap. He gave an eyebrow raise and a crooked smile as my breath hitched while looking at him, taking him in.
How did I never notice how his dark hair falls to one side when he cocks his head and how he looks so endearing when it happens? How did I never pay attention to his soft pink lips that give way to his gorgeous smile and how much I’ve been dying to kiss them all this time? How did I not see the way his eyes form crescents when he smiles, making my heart grow ten times over?
Why did I never think to take note of how his deep voice makes my stomach do somersaults? Why was I so unaware of his tongue piercing that was leaving me wonder how it would feel on my skin? Why didn’t I observe the black painted nails of his that were currently dancing along my thighs, giving me goosebumps?
How and why did I never notice him?
“You’re such a good girl.”
And for the first time around him, I flushed.
He chuckled, “Oh? You like that?”
I nodded quickly and he said it again, smiling as my face heated up once more.
“It’s so good to see you react to what I say. I wonder...” Hongjoong leaned closer to me, “How will you react when you’re underneath me? Squirming and begging for me to touch you?”
I gave him a look of desperation and balled his shirt into my fist, trying to move him closer, “Please.”
Hongjoong lifted me off of him, quickly discarding my clothes followed by his own shirt. My eyes were guided down by his abs and I ran a hand across them without thinking, whimpering quietly.
“Is my baby girl getting needy?” He cooed.
I closed my eyes, once again nodding in embarrassment.
“How about we take care of that?”
He laid me down on the soft sheets of his bed, leaving me in anticipation as he pinned my hands above my head with a hand of his own. My eyes widened and he chuckled, running a single finger along my folds.
“You’re so unbelievably fucking wet...do I turn you on that much?”
I let out a small “yes” and he hummed in response. Placing a few kisses upon my lips, Hongjoong slowly entered two fingers into me and my back arched. His fingers curled, hitting a spot inside of me that’d I’d never been able to reach. I spread my legs as far as they could go, pleading for more, feeling tears prick my eyes.
Hongjoong spoke, his voice already dropping several octaves, “Keep your hands here, understand? I don’t want you moving them.”
I nodded, willing my hands to stay in place as his own moved to my hips, leaving kisses along my inner thighs.
“Hongjoong please.”
“Please what, princess?”
“Please touch me.”
“Oh, I think I can do better than that, don’t you?”
His lips attached to my core, tongue running through my folds and nose hitting my clit as I moaned pathetically. His hands held my hips down as I tried to buck them up, barely able to keep my hands above my head. After what felt like years, his mouth finally reached my clit and I cried out as his lips attached to it, sucking hard and leaving kitten licks. My high built up quickly and I came hard, my hands leaving their spot and pulling slightly on his hair.
“Thought I told you to keep your hands above your head, no?”
I mumbled an apology and he leaned over to kiss me, “You’re forgiven, darling.”
He seemed just as impatient as I was and without much begging the rest of his clothes were off, his dick teasing my entrance.
“God Hongjoong please I need you so bad.”
“I need you too, y/n.”
He fully entered me, cursing as he did so. I was so caught up in the feeling of him inside of me that I didn’t even register him asking me a question until he laughed at me.
“Feeling good, baby? Can’t even speak?”
I whimpered, nodding seeming to be the only thing I could manage to do. I felt his member twitch inside of me and I pleaded for him to fuck me, to give me anything. Hongjoong growled and jerked his hips up into me over and over, leaving me a moaning mess.
“Taking me so well, aren’t you? Such a good girl for me.”
The amount of praise he gave me caused a few tears to fall from my eyes, not realizing how bad I needed it until that moment. My walls clenched around him every time, causing him to groan and snap his hips into me even harder. Hongjoong’s eyes grew hazy, his dark hair sticking to his forehead.
“I’m close, darling. Be my good girl and cum for me”
His hand trailed down to my clit, rubbing tiny circles. My back arched as I came in time with him, our breaths synchronizing as we gasped for air.
He slowly pulled out of me and ran to the bathroom to grab a towel, cleaning me up. Hongjoong giggled and I raised a brow at him.
“I never thought you’d give me a chance. It’s almost like I’ve corrupted you.”
“You have. Aren’t you aware of the party I went to because of you? I almost died.”
Hongjoong laughed as he crawled into bed and pulled blankets over the both of us. He ran a hand through my hair, looking at me fondly, “You did not almost die.”
“Okay yeah but I could have. That’s what we should be focusing on here.”
“I think there’s something else I’d like to focus on.”
Hongjoong pulled me into a deep kiss, hand slithering down to my waist. His kisses trailed to my ear, a slight chuckle leaving his lips, “My pretty princess.”
I looked at him with doe eyes, slightly in awe of him, and wondered how I could’ve pushed him away for so long. I knew for certain that I had no intention of doing so ever again.
When I told him he smiled, “Good. You’ve had a grip on my heart since day one. I’d be a fool to let you get away from me.”
I blushed slightly, much to his entertainment. We snuggled up to each other in silence, listening to the sound of our synchronized breathing as I lulled to sleep, our warm fingers intertwined. My dreams filled of him.
“Sleep well, my princess. I’ll be right here when you wake.”
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sirius · 4 years
Text
Bite Marks (The Mandalorian x Reader) SMUT
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Pairing: The Mandalorian x Reader
Warnings: Unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap that willy), Dom/Sub, Rough sex, Oral sex (Reader receiving), Swearing. IF YOU’RE A MINOR, KINDLY FUCK OFF 
Word Count: 3.6k? I think? Who knows at this point
A/N: Nothing sexier than Jealous!Mando, amirite? 
***
The bounty was supposed to be easy.
All five mercenaries were dudebro fuckbois with high prices on their heads and a habit of pissing off the wrong people. They were all expected to be at the same club, too, which meant that you just had to flaunt some skin and purr honeyed promises and they’d be in the palm of your hands.
The bounty was supposed to be fucking easy .
It wasn’t.
***
The Mandalorian is suspicious. He always is.
“What are the chances of all six of our targets being in one place?” He says, “Seems suspicious. Could be a trap.”
“I considered that, too,” you remark from over your shoulder, searching idly for an outfit, “That was before I realised it was a Solastice festival. Literally hundreds of thousands of people rock up to this sleeze fest. No one wants to miss out on the free booze and the orgies,” Your fingers skim across a velvet mermaid dress, “How about this?”
Mando huffs out a grunt, “I should come.”
You toss the dress aside and search for another, “Who’s going to look after the Child?”
The Mandalorian stares long and hard at the Child, who blinks owlishly back at the Mandalorian, his inky eyes filled with adoration, “I know someone.”
“You sure you can trust them?”
“She’s taken care of him before.”
You give a noncommittal hum and hold out a lacy, navy-blue dress, “What about this?”
“That’s it?”
“What? You don’t like a bit of lace—?”
“—you’re not going to argue about me coming on this bounty with you?”
“It’ll be fun,” you smirk, throwing the dress away, “Besides, I like watching you in action. You’re sexy when you fight.”
Mando tilts his head. His expression is impossible to read but you suspect he might be amused, annoyed or confused.
Beaming excitedly, you flatten a sleek, backless dress with a plunging neckline against your body, imagining how the dress will hug your curves and flaunt your cleavage. A long split down the side will give you access to the blasters and daggers strapped to your thigh holster too. It’s classy with just enough sexy to keep the imagination stirring.
The Mandalorian doesn’t say anything for a long, measured moment. Somehow, perhaps ironically — the silence seems to whisper his approval.
You untie your silk dressing robe, letting it fall to the ground and pool around your feet. The Mandolorian averts his gaze. suddenly taking a keen interest in the small plant you’ve been watering. You wish you could see his face. Is he blushing? Is he horrified? Is he aroused?
Sliding into the dress, you turn and gesture to the zip kissing the small of your back. “Do you mind?”
The Mandalorian hesitates at first. Somehow, you can almost hear the clink of his thoughts colliding, like he’s mentally solving dynamical system calculations and differential equations. Finally, he stalks toward you and you feel the hesitancy begin to thaw as his gloved fingers twitch around the zip and tug.
His ghostly, featherlight touch lingers on your skin, following the line of your spine until he reaches the thin straps sitting elegantly on the knob of your shoulders. Summoning every ounce of your ex-assassin courage, you slowly turn to face him and stare deeply into the slit in his helmet, imagining the colour of his eyes. Are they a dazzling shade of blue? Or a lovely, rare shade of teal green? Perhaps a smokey umber or steely grey? Or were they like yours; a kaleidoscope of colour always shifting and changing and never one distinct shade?
The air thickens, electricity crackles.
Suddenly, the Mandalorian nods stiffly and stumps away, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You sigh, realising that there’s more than Beskar armour hiding his thick, prickly layers. Perhaps... , you muse, in that childishly naive way that only deep affection can stir, ... Perhaps  I’ll find a way to pry it off.
***
Outside, the festival rages.
The dancing crowd of celebrants are like a splash of vibrant colour against the bland backdrop of the surrounding buildings as they flood the streets, filling the air with hoots and cheer and vivid shades of life .
You perch on the barstool, keeping an eye on both your targets and the festival. The Mandalorian is sitting at a table in the far corner, close to the exit in case the targets are as dumb as they look and decide to make a break for it.
The bartender slides yet another drink your way from a hopeful suitor. You smile and take a sip, winking at the nervous, young man stealing furtive glances at you.
“My, my...” a greasy voice says from over your shoulder, “What’s a beautiful woman like you doing in dump like this?”
You spin in your stool and smirk.
The lead dudebro of the fuckboi boy-band is trying to make a pass at you. He thinks he sounds smooth but his pick up lines are equal parts cliche and cringy and they come off polished and second-hand, like he’d heard it from a grainy, amateur porn movie and decided it was a winner.
“Hoping to find myself a handsome fella,” you purr, flashing him your most alluring smile.
Dudebro leans against the counter, reeking of smoke and sweat and virile fuckboi testosterone. He trails a lewd gaze from your eyes down past your neck, spilling indulgently between your breasts, along the sloping curve of your hips, down to the skin of your thigh peeking out from where you have one leg crossed over the other.
“How is that working out for you?”
Your lips tilt into a cat-like smirk, like a spider watching the squirming wreck of their prey struggle against the sticky fibres of a carefully designed web, “You tell me.”
“Beautiful, clever and single? Seems too good to be true.”
“Yet here we are.”
A dodgy grin hooks around Dudebros chapped lips. He slides a calloused hand along your thigh, his grip bordering on possessive.
“Here we are.”
You pause, stretching out a silence to create tension. Dudebro slides his tongue over his bottom lip.
“You should know that I give generously to women who know how to please a man,” he says, “And you look like you know a thing or two about that...”
You lean over, your lips ghosting over the shell of his ear, “Why don’t we get a room and you can see for yourself.”
Dudebro shudders. You’ve got him.
Suddenly, a blur of grey and silver charges toward dudebro, slamming his head onto the counter. Dudebro crumbles into an unconscious heap by your feet.
The Mandalorian has swooped in to save the day. What a knight in shining fucking armour.
“What the fuck was that about?” You hiss, incensed, “I nearly had him!”
The Mandalorian doesn’t answer. Instead, he’s twirling his blaster between his fingers with well-practiced movements.
The other dudebro’s jump to their feet, steeling themselves for a fight.
Chaos erupts.
***
You’re quiet on your way back to the Razor Crest.
Your blood is boiling, your throat itchy and dry from all the insults you want to scream into the dull, black, bottomless void. The Mandalorian’s anger is an icy contrast to your fire; his broad shoulders steeled and his posture hard, unforgiving, like he’s still hunting down a bounty.
Your temper spikes as you watch him pay Peli Motto, your jaw clenched and your lower belly fluttering with a confusingly irritating concoction of venomous seething and hot, syrupy desire.
“It didn’t have to end in a fucking bar brawl,” you snip, waspishly, as he closes the hatch to his ship, “Thanks to you, though, it did.”
The Mandalorian gives you his usual response: silence.
Your nostrils flare.
“Three dudebros nearly escaped. It was lucky I was able to catch them before they raced off.”
Still no response. He’s too busy scaling the ladder up to the cockpit. You stomp up to the ladder and call up to him.
“You undermined me! And for what, exactly? Because some guy was getting a little touchy feely?”
You hear the engines roar to life and feel the ship rise, hover, then launch into the air.
Fuming, you pace the length of the ship, clutching the daggers in your thigh holster  and hurling them in quick procession. They lodge themselves into the bullseye, trembling from the force of your strength.
“You’re making dents in my ship.”
Your jaw clenches, molars grinding as you storm toward the daggers and pull one of them out.
“So now you want to talk!” You snap, scathingly, wheeling around to face him.
Mando’s helmet tilts as though he were evaluating you. He takes three deliberate steps forward, forcing you take a surreptitious step back.
“I’m not exactly a conversationalist,” he states, his voice clipped and tight. He makes no effort to disguise the anger in his tone.
You ball your fingers into a fist, clenching and unclenching, “So you’re not going to explain to me why you nearly let three of our bounty’s escape?”
There is a crackle and whir from the modulator as he speaks again, low and even with an intensity that sends shivers traipsing down your spine.
“You don’t know?”
You squint at him, wondering what he’s playing at. He acted rashly and impulsively; in a way that he’s never done before, betraying his years of careful training and defying all common sense. His timing was peculiar, too, just when you had suggested finding a room...
It hits you like a blaster to the chest, “You were jealous.”
Mando takes another step forward, neatly eliminating any space you had tried to regain. Your back is pressed against the wall as he takes another step closer, closer, closer , his arm reaching out grazing against your cheek, caging you in, closer, closer, closer—
He grips the handle of your dagger and pulls it out of the wall beside your head with a strong tug. The dagger dances between his fingers as he twirls it then parts the split in your dress just enough to slide the dagger back into its holster. His fingers glide along your inner thigh and you gasp, his touch electric.
“Not exactly,” he says, “Just a little protective.”
You exhale slowly, evenly, your chest fluttering with a thousand hummingbirds, “Is there a difference?”
He pulls his gloves off and trails his fingers along the delicate skin of your inner thigh, “I suppose not.”
The tension in the air is almost sentient, alive with a frantic, crackling energy that’s hotter than a heatwave in Tatoonie. Mando’s fingers dig into the spot where dudebro fuckboi had his hand back in the bar. Slowly, slowly, his hand snakes up your thigh, grazing across your hipbone, tickling the sensitive skin...
“You’re such a fucking asshole,” you sneer, your upper lip curled.
“I guess I am,” he admits, his eyes boring holes through the visor of his helmet, “But you’re no angel, either.”
With that, he whirls you around and pushes you up against the wall, your flushed cheeks pressed up against the cool metal of his ship. You moan when he drapes a bandage across your eyes then tugs tightly at your hair. You hear him pull his helmet over his head, dropping it onto the ground with an obnoxious clang. Then he’s behind you, his voice in your ear, sultry and thick.
“You waltz around teasing me with those looks and that body of yours,” he grips your ass through the fabric of your dress, squeezing with bruising strength, “You drive me absolutely fucking crazy.”
He presses a searing kiss to your neck, teeth clamping around the flesh. You moan and arch against him, desire pulsing through your veins like velvety liquid chocolate.
“Then I saw you with our bounty, the way he eyed you, like he was undressing your right then and there,” the Mandalorian grazes his teeth along your neck, biting and nipping hard enough to draw blood, “Only I get to look at you like that. You’re mine.”
With a sudden burst of strength, the Mandalorian grips you by the waist and spins you around, pressing your back against the wall. He crashes his lips onto yours in a searing kiss, teeth scraping and tongues clashing, his mouth ruthless and bruising in the most delicious of ways. He kisses you with the hunger of a starved man, as though he’s deciding whether to savour you or swallow you whole.
The Mandalorian spills his lips down the column of your throat, biting and sucking and bruising, planting blossoming purple roses in your skin. Bite marks swell beneath his lips; a brand you’ll wear proudly for the next few days. It’s ironic how being claimed by the Mandalorian can make you feel so liberated.
He pulls away from you and clutches the zipper to your dress, tearing it from your body. You gasp, the cool air caressing your exposed skin. You feel the prickle of his eyes travelling across your body, capturing and collecting, memorising every detail.
And then he’s on you again, kissing your lips fiercely, stealing the breath from your lungs, swallowing your gasps, your moans, trapping your bottom lip between his teeth and biting. Your hands roam through his hair, tugging the roots, letting it melt between your fingers like honey.
The Mandalorian reaches behind you and rips off your bra followed by your panties, pulling an involuntary gasp from your lips.
“You’re going to have to pay for those,” you pant, “They weren’t cheap—“
You trail off into a moan as you feel the Mandalorian’s hot lips close around one of your nipples, teeth scraping and nibbling. You arch into his mouth, massaging his scalp as you play with his hair. His hand paws at your other breast, rolling the soft flesh in his palm, sending shivers throughout your body.
“Consider it payback for denting my ship,” he counters, and you hear his armour clink against the ships floor as though he were kneeling.
You’re about to ask him what he’s doing when he begins pressing butterfly kisses down your stomach, tasting the salty sweetness of your skin, tongue mapping out the canvas of your body. You moan when he bites your hipbone then travels lower, lower, until his hot breath is hovering over your slick entrance. He slings your leg over his shoulder and inhales your scent as though he were taking mental notes, cataloguing your natural fragrance with everything he knows about you, and then—
He dives in, curling his tongue over your clit, rolling the sensitive pearl of nerves as he drinks you in like sweet nectar. You moan and gasp and whimper his name, your voice hoarse as your lower belly crackles with ethereal-like energy; a nest of frayed, live wires sending currents of azure-blue electricity through your body.
Thick fingers push into you; first the index, then the middle finger, then both. Your back arches and your fingers fly into his hair, gripping hard enough to draw a groan from the back of his throat. It doesn’t take long for you to climax; you cry out his name as you shatter into oblivion, coasting a high that jolts you into hyperspace.
The Mandalorian kisses his way back up your body, and then he kisses you deeply. You slide your tongue over his lips, tasting yourself. Your head spins into a state of euphoric delirium.
“Your pleasure belongs to me,” he snarls, transforming your spine into a quivering live wire, “I’m in charge. Understood?”
“Yes, sir ,” you whisper, light as air, tone teasing.
“Good girl.”
The Mandalorian breaks away, the absence of his warmth leaving a ghosting greyness where he once stood. You shudder as you hear armour clicking and the whirr of zipper teeth being pulled apart. Then you feel his hands tug on the knot behind your head, keeping your bandage together, and the fabric falls away, returning your vision.
You blink, eyes adjusting. The Mandalorian stands before you in his armour, including his helmet. His codpiece is discarded; the lump of metal sits abandoned on the floor near your shredded clothes. You trap your bottom lip between your teeth as your gaze dips to his huge, thick cock.
“Wow,” you gasp, “You’ve been holding out on me, Mando.”
The Mandalorian steps toward you again, hooks his arms around your thighs, and hoists you up against the wall. The cold metal bites into your back, penetrating your skin and crawling down your spine. He presses his cock against your entrance.
“Maybe if you weren’t such a brat...”
Without further ado, He pins you to the wall of the Razor Crest with his long, thick girth, sinking into you with a loud groan and a roll of his hips. You cling onto the pieces of his armour and rest your head on the cool metal of his shoulder as the Mandalorian sets a pace. He rocks his hips slowly at first and you move your own hips against him, for once perfectly in sync.
“Fuck,” you curse, wrapping your thighs around his hips and pulling him further into your warm depths.
The Mandalorian snaps his hips against you, building up a fast, unrelenting pace. His movements are steady and deliberate, his grip plunging into your thighs, shooting sparks of pain and pleasure throughout your entire body. He’s silent for the most part, occasionally grunting and gasping in your ear when the muscles in your pussy contract.
“Yes,” you cry, biting into the fabric of his shoulder, “Just like that, don’t stop.”
A familiar tightness begins to curl inside your lower belly again, sloshing around with the chemical cocktail of champagne,
dopamine and serotonin. The feeling rolls and crashes within you, filling you up like seawater and sunlight and bright, glittering gold.
“Every time a man lays his hands on you, I want to cut them off,” he growls, each word punctuated with a sharp thrust, “Each eye that follows you makes me want to dig them out of the socket.”
“I never — oh — never knew you felt like — Ah, fuck yes — like that.”
“Bullshit. You knew...you’re just such a — fuck — fucking tease .”
“So what are you going to do—do about it?”
The Mandalorian groans and increases his pace, slamming his cock inside of you. He balances you with one, strong arm while the other snakes between the two of you and reaches up, up, up, his fingers wrapping around your neck, flexing gently. The added pressure makes you moan as you crest higher and higher, scaling the wobbling, tipsy-turvey ladder of a crashing crescendo—
Suddenly, the tight coil inside you snaps, spirals, sending pleasure surging through you, fluttering in your chest, pulsing through your arms and legs. Your pussy quivers around him, hugging his cock as the muscles spasm and quake with the force of your climax. The Mandalorian follows you over the edge, gritting his teeth and growling your name as he buries his twitching cock inside of you and comes, pouring his seed deep inside of you.
The air around of you smells like sweat and sex and grease and is filled with your combined pants. After a few lingering moments, the Mandalorian slides out of you and places you gently on the ground, tucking himself back into his pants. Your thighs are sticky with his dribbling cum and your head feels like it’s been crammed with fluffy cotton buds but your entire body tingles like light dancing off the ocean.
“That was—“
“Incredible...” you finish, biting your lip. The Mandalorian’s faceless mask stares down at you, but you have a sneaking suspicion that he’s gazing sheepishly at you, perhaps shy or maybe even aroused. Maybe he’s like you — an amalgamation of conflicting emotions, some old and nostalgic, some surprising and new.
***
Morning light drenches the Mandalorian’s quarters, shimmering like gold dust. You moan gently, consciousness slowly returning to you. You become aware of your surroundings, recognition settling in, delicious memories of being tied up and blindfolded while the Mandalorian worshipped your body...
The gentle caress of a warm kiss tickles your inner thigh.
You moan as the kisses dot along your thigh, climbing higher, teasing around your entrance, licking and nipping like he can’t get enough...
Your fingers fumble then clench around the bed sheets as his tongue finally laps at your clit, swirling and sliding in tantalising rhythms. You gasp and mewl, whispering words of encouragement as the Mandalorian feasts on you, plunging two fingers into your slick entrance. You begin to draw closer and closer to your climax, your toes curling as you throw your head back and moan—
A small whimper suddenly jolts you back into the present.
You sit up on your elbows and gasp, clambering to cover yourself as the Child stares up at you, distressed by the sound of your moans. His bottom lip trembles, his large eyes unusually glassy as he waddles up to you.
Beneath you, the Mandalorian shifts, and you turn away from him as he slides his helmet on.
“Hello baby,” you soothe, reaching down to scoop him up with one arm, “It’s okay, mummy’s here.”
The Child coos in delight as he snuggles into your embrace. You gently turn on your side to face the Mandalorian — who is now wearing his helmet — and place the Child between your bodies. He stares up at both of you and beams; his smile could light up a thousands suns.
When the Child begins to doze, you gaze up at the Mandalorian through your lashes, bracing your head on your hand bent at the elbow.
“I think he was jealous,” you whisper, stifling your giggles.
You hear the amusement in the Mandalorian’s tone, “Of you or of me?”
You shrug, leaning down to press a tiny kiss on the Child’s head, “Who knows?”
6K notes · View notes
taecalikook · 4 years
Text
(Not) Just Friends
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summary : Befriending the fuckboy with devilishly handsome face and emotional capacity of a pea is not exactly your choice, especially when you met him when you were in fifth grade, attracted for the unhealthy vermillion shaded face of the nerd he was that fateful day. So is Jungkook, as he is already putting strictly platonic label on your forehead and calls it a day. But it is only a matter of time before everything changes, and it only takes a frat party, lots of booze and... a certain Kim Seokjin.
{friends to lovers! au, fuckboy! au, fratboy! au}
pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (side kim seokjin)
genre : major fluff, a sprinkle of angst and borderline crack
word count : 24.612 (one-shot)
==============
“Hi, pumpkin! Is that for me?”
You were just sipping on your morning espresso, sitting in your favorite coffee shop while reading your favorite book of all time when the familiar annoying voice of your childhood best friend rang in your ear. You look up, finding the hateful smirk on his lips that you desperately want to strangle off of him, more for interrupting your sacred solitude morning routine—well not really solitude since you did promise him breakfast before class today. But as per usual, he just had to steal the glass you had in your grasps, sipping on the tasteful liquid while scrunching his eyebrows on your choice of reads.
“Isn’t it too early for The Great Gatsby in such a wonderful morning?”
“Isn’t it getting too old for you to keep drinking my coffee?” You bite back in the same bratty manner he displays. Jungkook chuckles, resting the cup back with a slight grimace. Probably because the coffee is tad too bitter for a sweet-crazed tooth like him. “You don’t even like espresso. I don’t even know why you always want a taste of my coffee.”
“Nah, I just want to mess with you fam.” He smirks, the bitterness still leaving a mark on his taste buds. Serve him right, you roll your eyes and try to center your attention back to your book. This idiot really knows no boundaries when it comes to you, you swear to God.
You and Jungkook have been best friends since both of you were kids. As cliché as it sounds, you met Jungkook when he was a total nerd in fifth grade of elementary school. He perfectly embraces the nerd stereotype at that time, thick ass glasses, braces, carrying books and his neon green nintendo nearly everywhere. You were not really interested in befriending the nerd, but when he got shamed by the cool girls for giving them chocolates for Valentine's Day—an expensive chocolate, for anyone keeping notes—you quickly stepped in when it seemed like it went overboard. 
Jungkook was bullied in the middle of the school yard with everyone to witness, for giving the girl he likes a chocolate on fucking Valentine’s Day. You noticed how ashamed he was—lips quivering, heads hanging low and the most distinctive feature is his cheek and ears, literally turning to the shade of vermillion. You did not know whether it is healthy for a face to be that red—you were terrified he might pass out—but yet those girls were still keen on mocking his sincere acts and his shy expression, not showing a sign to stop anytime soon.
Your consciousness literally forced you to step in, jumping on between them and literally yell at those girls. You forcefully stole the chocolate from one of the girls' grasp, eating them on the spot and shouted in irritation, “Done! I ate everything, so stop bullying him. You girls should be ashamed of yourself, he did nothing wrong!”
The imbecile girls were embarrassed, because their show was immediately stopped by an unpopular girl they never saw before in front of the whole school to see. One girl who seemed to be like the leader of the lunatic gang suddenly moved forward and pushed you until you fell on your back, and you know that was it. You seriously had been waiting to use your taekwondo skills for a better cause, and at that time, you saw the chance and took it whole-heartedly. You were not even using your full strength on her—you mostly used your defense technique when she was giving multiple amateur punches. You really lost everything when she grabbed your hair and pulled it hard (like most amateur girls would fight). The pain on your scalp hurt from the vicious pull, so you mildly used the front kick technique on her to push her away yet she easily fell down like a limp noodle, scraping her body with a small amount of the blood trickling out.
After the fight ensued and was broken off by one of the teachers, you and the crying girl were taken to the headmaster’s office. You were going to be punished severely, but fortunately some witnesses came to your rescue, you and the girl received punishment of detention for one month straight. Somehow, the spoiled annoying girl got out of the punishment with her parents persuasion, yet not really the same for your strict parents. They were furious for you to be punished for a physical fight in school that they directly cut you from your twice-a-week taekwondo classes you loved so much—thinking that it must be a bad influence for you. Not only that, you were also grounded and was forbidden to go out of the house for a month. You were devastated, but you know there was no way to change their minds, so you just sucked it up and promised to do your punishment well.
Day one of your punishment, you were sitting inside the detention class, the teacher was zooming off on the table with a documentary of Helen Keller played on the television. You were doodling on the back of your book in boredom. Suddenly, amongst the silence, a hush was heard in front of you, whispering your name. You shifted your head, finding the same boy directly on the table in front of you.You must absolutely did not expect it to be him—the nerd you saved from raging selfishness of the slow-minded girls.
“Hi... I got into detention to accompany you...” 
You inspected the boys with scrunched eyebrows in confusion. He somehow was still with the vermillion shade of red coloring his supple cheeks, just like last week when you were defending him. Is he... sick? He better be not, cause if he were, you were going to regret not setting the girl straight a little bit harder. The adamant despise towards injustice firing inside you was ignited by the lesson you always received from your taekwondo class, how you always must use your strength for goodness. Yes, you indeed will be missing going to Taekwondo classes. 
Realizing your mind had been anywhere but here, you straightened in your seat and tilted your head in confusion at the guy. “Are you okay? You look so… red.”
The boy quickly hid his cheeks with his palm, eyes not meeting yours out of shyness. It looked like he wanted the world to swallow him firsthand. “I—I’m sorry! I just have this weird physical habit of turning super red whenever I'm shy or angry..” He whispered, nibbling on his lips while still avoiding your eyes. “I hope I don’t make you uncomfortable..”
“Nope.” You answered with a loud pop on the last ‘p’, sending the boy a warm smile. “It doesn’t bother me in any way. You should not be ashamed of that. That’s cute.”
Well if you thought his face was already red, you could not imagine how more red it could turn into after you called him cute. Out of panic, you swiftly handed him the cold drinks sitting on your desk. “H—hey! You are too red, it is not possible. Put this on your face!”
After a few seconds he spent pushing the cold bottle to his face, you could finally see him breath again. You were unable to hold a smile looking at the boy, huffing his breath repeatedly to calm himself. You did sincerely find him cute, so different from the boys from your school who somehow really got on your nerves from constantly bragging about nearly everything. Their expensive belongings, their parent’s house, their ability to play sports, and it sickened you. Well you didn't really know the boy in front of you, but it seemed like he wasn’t the type to. You were prepared to drop him the second a cocky symptoms were found though, even if internally you wish he wouldn’t. You spared so much of your effort to take on the guy’s side, such a waste to do that on another thick-headed prick.
“I just realize I don’t know your name.” You suddenly thought to yourself after multiple times addressing him as ‘the nerd’ or ‘this boy’. He was just giving your drinks back to your desk, and then he shyly put out his hands to you.
“Hi.. My name is Jungkook. I am ten years old, and I came from Busan. I have one brother and one dog. My hobby is playing games and taking a bath! Nice to meet you!”
You really were going to burst into laughter, but then you detect the teacher was already woken up and shooting looks at the both of you for causing such a loud commotion. You bit your lips, holding any sound from coming out fervently, your eyes trained on your desk so you would be able to hold them back. Inside, you were glad that you saved this boy the other day. This boy was too pure and kind for his own good, and you were happy that you stood for him.
Well, that was all too long in the past, you nearly had a hard time remembering it. Now Jungkook has changed, 180 degrees from that cute, shy, vermillion shade faced boy you met in elementary school. After an agonizing ten years has passed, he went from a total innocent sweetheart, such a cutie to the annoying ass of a fuckboy jock he is today. What a shame to witness the degradation, you thought to yourself. But you did know when and where it went wrong—he was just too tired of being taken too much of an advantage by despicable people around him. The friend he befriended, his chemistry lab partner in middle school, his classmates and especially the girl he dated in high school. He hated it—he hated everything that happened to him when he was trying to be the nice guy for everyone. 
So in the last year of high school—after the bad breakup with the said girlfriend—he changed everything, nearly everything until it's even hard for you to recognize him sometimes. He swore off dating and romances, he went twelve hours per week to the gym and the school’s football team, attended parties days and nights before fucking random girls, and did the bare minimum in his education due to the shift of focus. But still even by then (actually, even until today), one and only person he would always listen to was you. 
When he failed one of his subjects in the last term of high school—and seemed completely unbothered by it, you were furious at him and refused to communicate in any way to him until he got his priorities straight. He tried contacting you, but you rejected at the first beep. He waited for you in front of your class but you quickly shove him with hurtful words his way, “You stop being yourself, Jungkook. I don’t even know you anymore.” and you meant every word. You missed your best friend, you missed his innocence and availability for you, and frankly, you also had enough of hearing about how charming he was, or how good he was in bed, talked in hush by your obnoxious girls in your classes. 
Few days later, you were already resting in your house while reading a book and listening to the droplets of the heavy rain knocking down on your roof, until a hesitant knock was heard on the door. You shuffled to open the door to find, was expecting your brother coming home from college, but instead found Jungkook, drenched in front of your porch with the remedial sheet on his hand—written that he passed the said subject with flying colors. You were surprised that he even got the chance to fix his grade, but after telling you he needed to do a fifty page review of the economic systems around the world to even got the chance to remedial test, you did realize how much he put an effort to pass a subject he didn’t even like. Somehow, it resulted in more happiness on you than you thought it would be. You couldn’t deny you were already contemplating whether you were too harsh or nosy on him, or he would just drop you the second you push him away. You were on the edge, imagining that you would lose a best friend because of your annoying attitude and peskiness. But he came through.
After welcoming Jungkook to take a bath and wear your brother’s clothes, you offered him a glass of hot chocolate, his favorite drink. But you noticed that he was still pouting, so you questioned it. “I am thankful that you knocked some sense into me, but Y/N, don’t ever ignore me like that again…” Jungkook’s pout turned deeper, his knuckles pushing your forehead in annoyance. 
“You are the last person who I ever wanted to turn against me.” He whispered after seconds of silence of just staring at each other, eyes turning gleam that knocked some guilt inside your chest. You nodded silently, promising that you would not do that kind of antics again.
You remember that day like the back of your hand—after a long time, you see how vermillion-shaded his face has returned after telling you how thankful he was for your presence as his best friend during the past ten years, and your straight-up attitude that set him straight during his weak times. He cried that day, telling you how hard everything was for him. Behind those strong facade and muscle, you realized he was still the innocent, vulnerable nerd with a vermillion-shaded face you met ten years ago. You missed those innocence he finally displayed, and it brought you back to times when it was just you and him against the world. 
Even after that day Jungkook still continues all his fuckboy ways, and until now after both of you went to the same university. He is taking an industrial engineering major while you were doing your life-long dream of taking political science, both of your faculties are located near each other. Jungkook was still being the same Jungkook he was, he joined the football team and brother frat in college, filled with dumb rich jocks who held parties nearly twice a week. After getting few drinks in the party, he would fall into meaningless sex with the girl he just knew before. Not that you mind, you have been way too accustomed in having such a best friend and it doesn’t even bother you anymore.
But still, you were confused how Jungkook is able to maintain his life together—his studies, his jock practices and his fuckboy activities in parallel. You have no objection at all for his life choices—since he never leaves you out and schedules a breakfast or lunch minimal twice per week with you to update you on what he was doing with his life and likewise. Not even counting the times he would get you from your apartment if you have the same morning class like today. By what you hear from him, it really seems like he is holding up just well. Good for him.
“Hey, stop ignoring me, you ugly ass hoe!”
You wake up from your long flashbacks, since you notice that you have been zooming out for quite a while now. You clear your throat, sipping on the coffee that has turned cold, sending apologies for not paying attention to him. “Sorry. I was distracted. You were saying?”
Jungkook frowns, his eyes squinted on you, and you know what he was doing. He was trying to diagnose your silence. You roll your eyes at his nosy acts. “Stop looking at me like that! I said I was sorry, Jungkook. Now tell me what’s bothering you. This girl you fucked with before, did she still try to contact you again?”
“I wasn’t telling you about that!” Jungkook raises his voice, his face slightly reddening out of shyness for you mentioning his bad experience on one of his one night stands. Looking at him, you are reminded about the vermillion-faced Jungkook you met in elementary school. Oh how you miss those reddening supple cheeks of his. “I was telling you if you are going to Hoseok’s birthday party this weekend. It’s gonna be lit, I swear! He is holding it in his fancy ass house with a pool and whatever.” You snort, your eyes trailing back on your books even if you are not reading at all. You just want to ignore him, implicitly telling how silly his invitation was. Parties are never your forte, you feel mildly uncomfortable in such a short distance with tons of strangers. You’d rather reread this book you are holding for the nth time already, you swear.
“Y/N, you could even meet boys there, I know how saintly you have been living lately. Live a little, pumpkin! I swear you’ll enjoy it there.” Still you don’t budge on him.
“Kim Seokjin is gonna be there, though. You sure you won’t come?”
Listening to his name, your ears perk up, eyes slightly glancing up to him. Seokjin is one of Jungkook’s frat brothers, a final year who surely does not share the same ugly traits of the other brother. He is smart, ambitious in his study, and is also the head of the Taekwondo university club. Your deep interest in Taekwondo has driven you to see him in multiple universities and external competitions, and you cannot bear yourself but to swoon over him and his rightful acts. Even if you surely do not have the courage to directly introduce yourself to him, you have been thinking a lot about joining the club with pure—well not really pure motivation. You are also unable to emphasize more that he is really one of the kindest souls out there. He is known as very helpful to everyone, joining as a volunteer in various social and environmental movements. You also heard that he had a serious relationship for five years, in which they had to break up a year ago because the girl had to move to America to pursue her study and decide to break up with him. What a doofus.
You notice the cocky, winning triumph on Jungkook’s face realizing how affected you are by the name, but you’ll set aside your will to erase the annoying smirk off of his face just to get more information out of him. “Continue.”
“He is best friends with Hoseok. I know he is not really a party type—you probably know that better than I do—but this one's for his friend's birthday party. He’ll come.” Jungkook says, munching on the served american breakfast in front of him. “You can finally meet him, probably say hi and then bone him while you’re at it. You get me?” Jungkook wickedly smiles, eyebrows dancing on his temple and you roll your eyes in response. You have such an obnoxious dickhead as a friend, and whose fault is it? Yours, of course.
“I hate you so much, Jungkook. Do you know that?” You gave him a cynical smile, and he returned it with the same bland taste, biting on the last piece of bacon. 
“Can.. Can I bring Lia too?” You hesitantly asked, biting on your lips. Jungkook’s chewing movement is slowing, an uncomfortable silence ensues.
Lia is your apartment roommate, a cute girl with the same major as yours. Short height, big round eyes and straight hair are her noticeable features, and what troubles Jungkook for Lia’s presence in your discussions, is her uncanny resemblance to his high school ex girlfriend. Her similar name, her looks, her height, her choice of outfit and nearly everything, reminded him of the girl he has been trying to forget. You were surprised while meeting her too at first, but you did not realize how the resemblance would bother Jungkook that much. Well probably, Jungkook was still trying to forget about her—hell, this whole new persona of his was founded by his heartbreak towards the bitter-ended relationship.
You remember how head over heels was Jungkook towards his ex-girlfriend. Whenever he is around her, or just thinking about her when she was brought up in your discussions, Jungkook would again turn vermillion in shyness for his adoration of the girl. He would waste hours, with all his power and wealth to make the girl happy—without telling you at that time about how much he spent for her, since he knew how fervently you would react to that—and content with the relationship they both shared. But none could prepare him for the inevitable break up, Jungkook found the girl was cheating on him with another older guy, in which he found out who was her source of income too. Jungkook was devastated, heartbroken and that's the turning point when he swore off romances and relationships at all cost. You tried your best in helping him mend the broken pieces caused by the vicious witch of an ex-girlfriend, but you know none of it was the same ever again. What you could and promise to do is to be there for your best friend, at all times.
“It’s—it’s okay. I think I am just overreacting over all of this. I swear.” He sighs, sounding a little bit tired of everything and putting the utensils on his plate. You lean closer, waiting for the continuation of his spoken mind. “I am so fucked up, Y/N. Like, there are so many things that keep reminding me of her. You know how evil she is, and everything she did to me—but I still find myself missing her so much it’s crazy. It’s been nearly two years, but I still think about her—a lot. The girl I was with last night. The girl I met at a party two weeks ago. Your roommate—gosh, i’m so tired.” He sadly groans, hiding his face behind his palm. Oh, how you wish to take away some of the pain he feels.
“I think.. I think you just need to stop pushing it away, Jungkook..” You softly speak, your palm caressing his shoulder to his arm in sympathy. Jungkook let out another sigh, resting his palm over yours, eyes filled with frustration over himself.  “I think the more you are trying to stop thinking about her, the less you are able to overcome it. Just let it go. Confront it. Confront everything that reminds you of her, and tell yourself that you are slowly but surely overcoming the hunch.”
Jungkook silently nods for a while zooming out to the street, until at one point he slowly squints his eyes on you, full of suspicion. You choose to look away, trying to be nonchalant of his suspecting gaze.
“You just want me to allow your friend to go to the party so you will have a companion to meet Seokjin, right?”
Well, you should know you are going to be caught red-handed, but it should not this fast, though. Are you that obvious or it’s just another episode of Jungkook knowing you better than you do? “You know how much I need to meet him, Jungkook! You are my friend, you should help me with this. I need her as my support.” You defend yourself, arms folded in front of your chest in agitation. You are desperately in need of  Lia there, so at least when you embarrass yourself in front of a cheering crowd—or worst, Seokjin himself—you will have support that helps you get into that taxi and drive yourself to the nearest cliff. You won’t even expect Jungkook to be  there for you, he must be off somewhere fucking bimbos and that’s just how less you expect of him.
“Hey, I can be your wingman to score him too! Are you kidding me? I am his kind, I know how to get you to him better than that friend of yours.” Jungkook scrunch his nose in distaste of your doubts about him. You scoff loudly, pushing your cold coffee away so you or Jungkook’s slob trait will not nudge or drop it to pieces mid argument. That surely happened before, and you do not want another dirty look thrown by the waitress at the both of you for causing troubles, yet again.
“Stop kidding me. First, you are not his kind. He is not a fuckboy. And what would happen if I go there with you are first, you missing at twenty minutes mark and off fucking some girl on the upstair bedroom or even worse, in the restroom and I’ll just be foolishly standing in the corner like fucking nerd who miss her literature club meeting with expectation to meet a cute, faithful guy in some dumb frat parties, fell in love and get married to happily ever after. Or second, you ignore the girls thirsting over you to accompany me and just an hour, you off to get a drink and those dumb girls will kidnap me and feed me to the lion. I don’t see any positive scenario over you, accompanying me to the party. No thanks.”
Jungkook is surely bewildered over the scenario you just play out to him. You take a deep breath, realize you have been spitting out so many words in such a short span of time. You are quite proud of that talent, though.
“That’s… strangely detailed.”
You roll your eyes, looking at the watch on your wrist. Only ten minutes left and both of you need to run to the first class.  “We need to get going now. Let’s go, you dumb jock.”
Jungkook sighs, following your step, resting a few bills on the table. “It’s my turn paying now. Let’s go.”
*
“Are you sure you want to wear that?”
Listening to Lia’s queries for the nth time, you sigh and go inside the bathroom to change into your comfy house clothes. You have been trying to find the perfect dress that is the perfect balance of classy and slutty since three hours ago—exactly right after you ran home from your afternoon class. But yet it seems like no dress is right, one makes you look too slutty, or another which makes you like a freaking nun amongst the girl in the party, or another one which make your butt looks massive or one that is too tight you know you can’t even breathe if you wear that to the party. And who are you even kidding? You are putting too much effort for a party that most likely will not even realize you are there. You know that you are not that excessively pretty like some girls that hangout with Seokjin and Jungkook’s frat—yes, you are not far on the other side either, but it’s still a valid point.
“I’m done. I’m just wearing anything to the party and if Seokjin can’t see me, he can kiss my ass. Probably gonna die alone anyway, why do I even try...” Your groan was muffled to the pile of clothes on your bed. Lia hisses at your sudden discouragement, she wakes up and launches a slap on your butt.
“Nuh-uh! You know how important this is to you, Y/N. You gotta try, or you’ll regret it forever!” Lia shakes you again, but you are still groaning against the clothes. Seeing how long this may drag and you still haven’t even done your hair, she has no choice but to drag you from bed until you are thrown on the floor with a loud bump.
“Ah! It hurts!”
“I know it hurts but you’ll be thanking me in the next five years when you are married to Seokjin and pregnant with his third kid.” 
“Now that’s just forward. And delusional. Seokjin is married to me? Seriously, like he even wants to deal with such a mess.” You pout while rubbing on your hurting elbow due to the unexpected fall. Even with such a small frame Lia cages animalistic power it’s unbelievable. “And I don’t even want to get married that fast! I still need to open my restaurant, I haven’t even met Liam Neeson, travel the world—”
“Wait-wait, hold on. Why Liam Neeson?”
“Because he is hot. Like real hot. Have you seen Narnia? That is one god-carved voice, damn! How I wish I could have a man with a voice like Liam. In Taken! He is so hot and protective and do you know that in Star Wars—”
Lia quickly shuts you by throwing a glittery dress to your face, disgust coloring her face. “That’s just borderline daddy kink and I hope you are well aware you are fucking weird.”
You grimace. “No argument here.”
*
9pm, and both you and Lia finally arrive at the large mansion which you recognize must be Hoseok’s. You check the text Jungkook sent this morning about the location’s address once again, quickly scrambling out of the car after muttering thanks to the driver to enter the huge, fancy house. Lia holds you by the waist, giving it a short squeeze of support seeing how jittery you have become since the taxi arrived. “It’s okay. You look beautiful, and Seokjin will be crazy not to see you.”
“Thanks.” You huff a breath, trying to muster a little bit confidence in your steps. It is half-working, you have to admit. 
It’s still early, yet the party is crazy enough you can’t even believe it. Every corner is busy with their own games and activities, the bass blaring in your ear until you’re this close to temporary deafness, and the outside of the house is a large outdoor pool with people laughing and girls with hot bod and bikinis. Just the perfect recipe of the best night everyone will regret—or maybe it’s just you.
You already had your fair share of parties, and you have to admit that it’s not your thing. The free booze, though? Tempting. You are trying to look at the better side of the whole ordeal. Even if you fall short and embarrass yourself in front of your crush, you get the eternal consolation of booze to help you kick the shame away. Nothing screams adult like pushing your problem away with the help of alcohol, right?
You check yourself against the reflection on the nearest mirror to you, restlessness creeping inside your head. Damn, you seriously are just a sack of old potatoes compared to these girls in clad dress and high stilettos which will surely be able to stab and kill someone. You should just pack it up and go home, really.
“Hey! I know that face, Y/N. No! We are not backing down. I did not just spend five hours of your whiny ass complaining what to wear for you to be this defeated without even trying!” Lia quickly pushes you away when you are about to run out the door for your life. You frown, ready to let out some whiny complaints when she pushes your unknowing ass away, right into someone’s arm.
From the countless people inside the freaking party you just had to fall to Seokjin’s arm. God must be joking. 
Looking straight into his beautiful, sparkling eyes, it seems like your mind is completely wiped like new, and you have the trouble of speaking your mind. His warm arms are around your shoulder, keeping you stable on your feet and this might be the nearest you have been to the taste of death.
“Hey, I’m sorry, I think you fell and I just caught you...” Seokjin smiles politely, eyes crinkled into a smile and you are still in the midst of inner conflict of speaking out anything. Out of realization how annoying your act must have been to him, you jumped feets away, desperate to keep a distance. You are really this close to running away, but do not want to be perceived like a total moron especially to him, so you let out a thin, nervous smile. 
“T—thank you for catching me.” You breathily murmur, feeling shy. How can someone not be? God, is he beautiful. His fluffy hair is styled nicely, he is wearing such a simple attire, a blue loose shirt and black denim but damn did he wear it like nobody’s business.
“No problem.” He lightly shakes his head, but a sudden realization comes to his mind as he inches closer to you, eyebrows scrunched together in question. You unconsciously lean further away from him, heart drumming fast in your chest. “I think I’ve seen you before. In my Taekwondo’s match. Right?!”
Never in a million years have you thought that Seokjin might notice—and even remember your face amongst the large crowd, watching him in his battles for your college’s team. You are always hidden, and as plain as ever whenever you watch him from the bleachers, and would run away the second whistle blows signaling the end of the competition. But now he told you he recognizes you?! Gosh, what are the odds. You have never felt so shameful and concious of your own skin before.
“Um… Yes! But you have nothing to worry, I’m not a stalker or anything, I just really like taekwondo and I like watching you—I mean the team!” You shyly correct yourself, internally punishing yourself for the accidental slip. You are such a humiliation and frankly, still too sober for this. What will you trade to forget the encounter never happened and drown yourself in booze in every form—drinks, beer, jelly shots, whatever.
“No! Of course not.” He chuckles, amused like he is really content to see you, nonchalant to how uncomfortable you are with your skin right now. You feel like a doofus, making a fool of yourself. “I really want to talk to you every time a match is finished, but you always bolt away after, I don’t have the chance to.” Then he dare to fucking winks. “But I’m glad we can finally meet here.” 
You are too confused with every act and word coming out of his mouth—did he just flirt with you?—so your reply is simple, and desperate. “Wow. Sorry, I seriously need a drink right now. Can you hold that thought?”
Seokjin chuckles and nods, his palm hovers over your back, guiding you. “I’ll come with you.” You don’t really know why he has to follow just for you to shortly grab a drink, and then he points to his empty glass. You nod knowingly, trying to focus on the booze bar you are heading to. The bar is crazy extravagant for a frat party, with the bartender pouring mixed drinks on the side. You silently gasp. Damn, Hoseok is really that rich, huh?
He continues with a cheeky smile. “I have been looking forward to talking to you since forever, and you just bolted out. Is it wrong of me to be scared you are going to pull the same trick again?”
Wow, you don’t even know what he means by that, so you let out a nervous chuckle as an answer. It is like you are back to third grade, having your first crush giving you hope by his words and you are busy configuring and overthinking everything like fucking detective conan. But you refuse to get your hopes up, your brain desperately screaming to fill your glass with your favorite whiskey. You offer him the bottle, and he smirks and receives it while purposefully brushing your hand in the process. Fuck Kim Seokjin. What happen to such a polite boy you heard so much about?!
“So, are you going to tell me about yourself?” He smiles, and your finger fidgets in nerve, quickly taking a whole gulp of the alcoholic drink, praying it to quickly intoxicate your mind so you can speak clearly in front of such handsome face. Well, for one booze is the best recipe for you during these times.
“I don’t know what you want to know about me, Seokjin. I’m just an ordinary freshman.” You smile, your teeth grazing your lower lips. But one thing you notice is that Seokjin is silent, his eyes following the movement of your bitten lips like he is completely bothered by it.
“Do you like taekwondo? I see you a lot in the match.” He starts with a simple question, while taking a large portion of his drink down his throat and ending it with a sigh. “When you were watching, you looked like you knew your stuff. It’s TMI, but I can’t help but to find it’s totally, totally hot.”
“So you are watching me watching people during a Taekwondo match?” You bravely shoot, and Seokjin let out a chuckle. You do not know what has gotten on him—or you, even at that point. What you know is that you feel your head is light, but your body is hot and bothered by just looking at him. Seokjin just literally flirts on you and all you wanna do is to jump on him and quench the thirst rubbing in the middle of your thigh.
At the time, you notice that Seokjin is bluntly staring at your lips, his eyes turned dark and heavy with lust, and his face literally inching closer and closer to you. You lick your lips, suddenly finding it hard to swallow. Is it really going to happen? Seokjin somehow, against all odds, finds you hot and that's it—you’re going to kiss him like that? Just how many years of luck do you have to sacrifice for this?
“Seokjin! Here you are. Hoseok is looking for you.”
The strange sexual tension that filled the air between you and Seokjin with your lips just inches away from each other is broken by the dumbest fuck of a best friend, Jeon Jungkook. Seokjin immediately flinches, moving away and you instinctively turn your head, your hands scratching your nape out of shyness. You swear you are going to kill your best friend after this. How dare he interrupt the moment you have been dreaming for such a long time now?!
“Thanks for that, man.” Seokjin hisses, his words dripping with sarcasm and annoyance of your interrupted session. He turns his regretful eyes to you, hands resting on your shoulder, sliding to your wrist affectionately. You do not know whether it’s just you, but your body feels like it is set on fire with his light , feathery touches. He suddenly grabs your hand, giving it a light squeeze.
“I’ll find you later, yeah? Don’t go anywhere.”
You shyly nod, and Seokjin turns his back on both of you and walks further away to the other side of the gigantic house. After his disappearance, you quickly land a hard punch on Jungkook’s arm in agitation.
“You are fucking idiot and I hate you! How dare you interrupt us like that?! We were just about to kiss, you moron!”
Jungkook frowns, rubbing on the spot you just hit. “Hey! I am doing this for your own good. You are certainly going to regret kissing that guy! He is not that good, you’re better off without him.”
You hisses at his lackluster explanation. “I don’t know what crack you are sniffing, Jeon, but you just told me yesterday to attend this party and bone him. And now you’re pulling this shit?!” 
“I know! But I just don’t like it with him. I feel like he’s up to something.” You sigh after listening to his nonsense. Seriously, you can’t believe it. The first time you ever try to flirt and kiss someone you just met, and get a response—from Kim Seokjin, more to emphasize—at a party has to be interrupted by your fuckboy best friend. You have overestimated your luck.
At your sudden silence, Jungkook takes the time to raise his gaze and take in your appearance from head to toe. You are wearing your black sleeveless bodycon dress, the one you once drunkenly bought a year ago and always have been placed on the back of your closet. You compliment your dress with a pair of red heels, fresh from Lia’s closet. Your wavy hair is styled nicely, tied up that exhibits your neck line to the slightest of your collarbone. Your makeup is rather simple, but the red lips is just the perfect end-touch to your appearance today. You are simply beautiful.
“Why are you looking at me like that, you hobo?” You snort when feeling Jungkook’s gaze is too intimidating around your body—you fold your arms protectively on your chest. At your mocking question, Jungkook quickly throws his head somewhere else, sniffling his itchy nose. He seriously needs to catch himself before he erupts and makes a fool out of himself. But one he somehow forgets is that his body is way, way more truthful in speaking his mind than he really is. 
“Hey! How was it? Have you scored Seokjin yet?”
On your side, Lia shuffles with a bottle of beer and a knowing smirk. You sigh, shaking your head mournfully. Your wingman nearly yells.
“Why?! I voluntarily shove you too, back then! I saw you guys are chilling together so I decided to grab something for a sec and now you’re telling me he’s gone and you both did nothing?!”
To answer her question, you just vehemently point Jungkook. “This asshole decided to ruin everything. Just when it is about to happen, Lia! His lips were this close.” You mourn your lost chance, mimicking his lips hovering over yours. Jungkook quickly pushes your hand away from your lips with annoyance, eyebrows scrunched together in disgust. 
“You are creepy, and I am doing this for the sake of my frat brother. He is better off with someone else.” He pouts, his face looking severely annoyed and red. But it’s not just any kind of red. It’s vermillion, just the way you remember it from your elementary school, along with the childish pout on his lips. Ignoring your previous anger at him, you scrutinize his face closely and shift his face side by side with your palm, and he looks completely flustered. What in god’s name is happening?
“Hey, why are you so red, Jungkook? Are you okay?”
At the sudden attention thrown at him, Jungkook’s face just becomes even redder—if it is even possible. Realizing that he is in a very unfortunate situation at the moment, Jungkook quickly racks his brain for any reason to avoid your pesky questions. “I—I just think it’s too hot in here. Don’t you think so?”
“There’s literally four air conditioners in this room, Jungkook. It’s freezing cold in this place. Who the fuck has four ac in just a living room anyway? Damn you, capitalism!” You hissed, unamused with his lies. Jungkook grins, realizing how idiotic he must have sounded. At your last statement, you are suddenly self-conscious about the coldness in the room, rubbing your bare arms to create friction and warmth. He quickly notices your subtle gesture.
“Are you cold? Here, use my jacket.” Jungkook instinctively offers, not even waiting for your answer and unattaching the fabric of his body. At the kind gesture, you are touched as he seems to always understand you without you even need to say a thing. But when you see he is just wearing a body-fit black shirt underneath the denim jacket he was wearing—clearly, that jacket is going to go either way—you immediately snort. That bitch is just asking for an opportunity to flex the unnecessary muscle in front of the girls there, no need for you to feel flattered whatsoever.
“God, you’re both so fuckin domestic and boring. I’m off finding fun somewhere else, don’t wait for me~” Lia coos, walking to the other side of the house along with her bottle of beer. Well, Lia basically knows her ways in and out of frat parties, so you are not worried for her. If somehow Seokjin does not find his way back in thirty minutes, you promise yourself to hitch an uber as fast as you can and bolt out of that shitshow without making a scene. 
As the girl who somehow looks exactly like his ex exits their space, Jungkook reverts his focus back on you. You are busy looking anywhere else but him, your lips clamp on the glass to sip on the beverage. “Aren’t you tired with those heels? Let’s sit somewhere else.” He offers lowly.
You comply either way, somehow feeling a little bit suspicious over Jungkook’s sudden calm demeanor. You know him and how he is at parties. He should not be with you right now, instead joining his dumb jock friends and the girls at the other side playing body shots. This is borderline weird—you don’t want to interrupt him during his fuckboy activities, now both you and Jungkook are seated on the sofa in the corner of the room. 
“Are you okay, Jungkook? You are suspiciously silent.”
Jungkook clears his throat again, but all of a sudden loses all remaining composure when your finger delightfully skims his cheek. “And your face is red. There must be something wrong. The last time I saw you like this was—”
Jungkook knows what you are about to say but decided not to. He decided to ignore your suddenly awkward gesture and answers. “It’s not that, I—I’m just not feeling it tonight.”
You suddenly scoop his fingers and squeeze it lightly. “Is it because I am here? I swear Jungkook, you don’t have to accompany me. I’m perfectly fine on my own, you know it.”
“I want to accompany you.” Jungkook denies, not knowing how to speak his mind in any other way. His gaze is filled with unexpected sincerity, you don’t really know how and why. “I attend these parties, meet these people nearly everyday, Y/N. But they don’t have what we have. And now that you here, of course I would rather be with you.”
You don’t know whether it is the alcohol in your spine or the bass thumping likely on your heart, but you clearly feel something about the words. You feel important. You feel needed. And the way Jungkook looks at you right now? You feel like it’s somehow filled with new, raw emotions you never found on him before. The way his fingers are clasped on you—it’s like he is holding it for dear life. You can not deny that you are mildly confused by the sudden tension between you and Jungkook.
“Here you are, Y/N. I’ve been searching for you.” 
Seokjin is now standing in front of you and Jungkook, his eyes silently trailing on the fingers intertwined with you and your best friend, but refusing to comment. Realizing how awkward the moment must have been for the three of you, you swiftly jump on your feet, cheeks slightly reddening out of shyness while Seokjin still maintains the charming smile on his lips. “Can I take you somewhere else? This party is too loud. Let’s go somewhere quieter.”
“Mmm.. Okay.” You mutter, trying your best not to glance at Jungkook. You want to avoid adding more fuel to the awkwardness—well, you are too emotionally incapable to face whatever emotion you were having with Jungkook just now. He is just a thoughtful best friend, why are you even dwelling on it like it’s something new in your friendship? And being the coward you truly are, you answer the offer of Seokjin’s hand, following him to the outside without glancing even once at Jungkook. Even if all you can think about is him and what the hell just happened.
*
It’s been nearly two weeks, but you have yet to receive any message, or call, or anything from Jungkook. It’s not his fault, though—you could have started a conversation yourself, but you always find yourself hesitating while typing words on your screen. Maybe it’s because Jungkook has mostly been the one to start any conversation, and now nearly two weeks has passed since your last encounter and you have no idea how to start. Idiot.
You are still lounging in your bed, mustering yourself to be brave enough to say anything to Jungkook. When suddenly a message arrives, you are startled, swiftly clicking it open. But seeing the sender, you sigh in disappointment. It’s not Jungkook.
From : Seokjin
Hey, you are coming to the practice, right? [12:40]
Do you want to grab a bite after that? I have this coupon I need to use:) [12:41]
Ah, Seokjin. Since that fateful night in the party, you have been frequently hanging out with him. He is a senior in your department—he is even the assistant for some of your classes—so you do meet frequently. It is weird now that you are acquainted with him, he is everywhere, like literally everywhere. Especially because after that night, he asks you to join the taekwondo club based on your interest and previous experience. And who are you to reject? You like Taekwondo, and you like him. Talking about killing two birds with one stone, right?
But now you feel on the edge nearly all the time because your fuckboy best friend is missing in action. You want to tell him everything, but you feel like you have sinned him greatly for ditching him that night. It’s even hard to find out why! All you know that he might just find another girl to fuck with that night, and both of you know that the only thing in first that invite you to the party is because Seokjin is there—even Jungkook propose you to bone him! You seriously hate yourself for feeling this way.
“Jungkook, you are a complete moron!” You hiss, throw the phone to the desk and dip your face to the pillow.
Okay, new plan. It’s better for you to just meet and confront him directly. So tomorrow after class, you are going to meet him after his 8am, and just point and blame him for ghosting your friendship. Well, he is not ghosting, but that’s not the point! It’s a brilliant plan, yet you find yourself strangely terrified for what is about to happen.
*
Tomorrow morning, you are going to ask Lia to walk to class together, yet you find she is already missing, bed is made and cleaned. It’s weird to see her wake up so early since she is absolutely not a morning person, but you shrug it anyway, expecting to see her in class. Still, even after the professor arrives, you find her regular place beside you is empty. You send her a message, but it is met with no reply. Skipping class is not really rare in her case, so you just silently attend, mind filled with the plan you will execute later on.
After class, as previously planned, you directly head to Jungkook’s faculty. You can remember it vividly, Jungkook’s class for the morning is always running late due to his old as hell professor, who talks extremely slowly and loves to discuss anything but the topic he is supposed to teach, hence your plan. You are going to wait in front of his class, supposedly asking to grab brunch together before accusing him for ignoring you altogether.
But then, what you find while walking on the bridge connecting the two faculties catch you by surprise. It is Lia, talking to a man who's back you easily identify as Jungkook—you can detect those small waist everywhere, hidden cladly in a slim fit dress shirt. Both of them are engaged in serious talk, with Jungkook’s face a little bit tense and Lia’s face looking like she completely had enough.
Lia? And Jungkook? Your eyes must be deceiving you right now.
With all will, you march onto them, and even the fact that they are talking, just the two of them without you is weird enough, they don’t even realize your presence until you are tapping on Jungkook’s shoulder with a suspecting gaze. The moment he finds you, he unconsciously jumps a few steps back with a loud gasp, exactly like whenever he has been caught doing something bad. “Y/N! You’re here!”
“Yes. I was just about to catch you after your class, Jungkook, maybe we can grab a bite together.” The moment you let out those words, you heard Lia snickers and Jungkook immediately throws her a look. 
“Finally. You both should eat together! and I don’t know—maybe be truthful at each other? or anything, I don’t care. I’m out of here.” She walks out, not minding your voice calling out to her. You seriously have zero idea what she means, but Jungkook quickly places his hands on both your shoulders—desperate for your focus, his cheeks now colored in bright shade of red.
“Don’t mind her. Let’s go eat.”
You stop your track against Jungkook’s force of pulling you away, scrutinizing his face closer with a worried gaze. “Jungkook, you are acting weird. And you are sooo red. Are you sure you are okay?”
Jungkook hastily nods, pulling you to the place you both usually grab coffee at, not really far from his faculty. On the way, both of you still fall in silence, and one thing your eyes could focus on is his fingers, tightly intertwined on yours—the same gesture he has been doing for around ten years now. 
Is it weird that now you definitely do not feel nothing from just holding his hands?
*
Both of you are seated on your usual spot—near the window inside the coffee shop, right after ordering. “So. Are you going to tell me where you have been these past two weeks?” You questions, sipping on your usual choice of espresso. Jungkook grimaces, his fingers clasping against each other nervously. Not that he expects you to beat around the bush.
“I am just kinda busy. With practice and studying.” He silently answers, eyes still not looking anywhere else but you. And what kind of best friend are you not to notice that?
You nod cryptically, decide against pushing it.  Even though skeptic, what he said does seems plausible. “So, what’s up?’
“Just the regular.”
Your left eyebrows raise. “No news on your fuckboy conquest of one night stands?”
Jungkook eyebrows scrunched. “You’re disgusting.”
You are baffled at that. “What?! I am disgusting? Jungkook, you have been explicitly telling me stories about these girls you sleep with for already two years now. What are you, playing coy?“
Jungkook sighs tiredly. Instead of answering, he reaches for your glass of espresso, sipping it before wincing due to the bitterness—like a fucking moron doing his usual thing. It seems already too familiar, so you just shrug it and focus on the initial topic instead. “I just… I haven’t been sleeping with anyone these past two weeks, okay?”
You send him a cryptic look, and Jungkook complains in frustration. “I am not lying! I am not an animal, okay? I am tired sometimes, and I am allowed to not do that anymore.”
“Jungkook, there is no way you are not going to parties and not sleeping with these girls. You have been doing these for two years. What gives?” You push, as you know there must be something he is hiding from you. Jungkook sighs, looking at you with a gaze filled with strange emotions.
“I—I haven’t been to parties too. Look, I am just not feeling it, okay? I just.. I just needed a break.”
Looking at Jungkook, it is difficult to even imagine him not doing all his usual popular jock activities. And now he told you he hasn’t been to parties for two weeks? It’s really unlike him. He hasn’t missed a single party for these past two years since high school to the point you have a hard time remembering what he used to do on Friday nights. Something must have happened, that’s for certain.
“Do you want to tell me why?” You ask him carefully, your fingers reaching out to his. He looks up at you, something in his face tells you that something indeed has happened. And suddenly, your mind flashes to the event that just occurred. Could it be?
“Does it have anything to do with Lia? This morning, when you met her?”
Jungkook’s eyes bulge, his hands are harshly pulled to his lap, away from you. You can detect his chest pumped, heaving too much air in, eyes nervously scanning away. Too many reactions for a mere ‘nothing happened’. “I—I don’t know? What do you mean?”
“It’s weird! You were literally avoiding her before, Jungkook. But then I saw you meeting her alone. What happened? Tell me.” You persuade, determine to get to the end of it. But the answer you are given is only a nervous shake of head, with shade of red slowly creeping in his face. Another trait that you know from Jungkook, is his inability to hide his feelings—at least in front of you.
Due to his prolonged silence for his orders arrival, you silently guess what might have happened with him. A flash of unpleasant image enters your head and you wince internally. God, please don’t let it be true. You even have a hard time to spell those words. 
“Jungkook, please tell me you didn’t sleep with her.”
Jungkook’s face is flushed in a bright shade of red, as he shakes his head vigorously. “You are crazy. I did not sleep with your best friend.”
A sense of relief washes you. “So tell me what it is! What is it that you can’t possibly tell me? It must be it, or do you expect me to believe you somehow have feelings for her?!” You mindlessly intrude, but now seeing Jungkook’s face is vermillion red and how silent he is for a few seconds after the accusation, you can’t even believe there is a chance it might be true.
You hesitantly approach, voice caught up midways. “You… do you have feelings for Lia?”
Jungkook stares back at you, and you can see a hint of sadness on his eyes. Internally, he is terribly conflicted. He doesn’t know what he can say to you. He already has the answer to your query on the tip of his tongue, clearer than anything else but he cannot do that. It would be unfair to everyone, especially you. 
In life, Jungkook believes he is a risk taker—he is taught that way, ever since he was a little kid. Risk is what makes life even better and interesting. But how can he gamble with what you both have right now? He could never take that risk for what you have right now with him. It’s too much in stake—a game not worthy to play, and he knows his chances like the back of his hand. So he forces a smile, mustering all his might to say something that he is well aware does not reflect what he is truly feeling.
“I—I think so..”
Listening to his answer, you nod slowly, not knowing exactly how you feel. You are happy for him—for Jungkook to finally find someone he likes, someone who can get him off the meaningless sex routine he has been accustomed to for awhile now. And truth to be told? Lia is one of the best girls you ever acquaintanced with. If one thing you can ever count on, is that both of your best friends are great people that somehow grealy deserve each other. Lia is pretty, smart, fun to talk and party with, and allegedly good at sex—you don’t really now, it’s just what she claims to be—and Jungkook is the kindest soul out there—even if he is a certified douchebag once in a while—but they really fit each other well.
But is it disappointment in the pit of your stomach?
Noticing how silent you have become, Jungkook quickly takes the opportunity and changes the topic he instantly regrets. “So, how are things with Seokjin? I hear you both are hitting it well.”
Your throat feels constricted, so you clear it, hoping your stupefiedness is unrecognizable. “Yup. He is a good guy. I am now in the Taekwondo club as well, so… yeah I’ve been seeing him a lot too.”
“I am glad you finally got into the club! I remember how much of a pain you are, always go on and on talking about Taekwondo.” He rigidly smiles, eyes still trained on the dish served in front of him, cutting it in pieces. God, he is seriously digging his own grave with this fake supportive best friend shit.
“Yeah, whose fault is it that I got off Taekwondo in the first place, huh?”
Jungkook sighs, resting his utensils on the plate. He is aware of it very well, he knows what a fucking coward he has been since little, which may had forced you giving up on taekwondo—something you really loved. You can’t even imagine how guilty he is about everything. You have been the one thing keeping him sane, yet he always thinks himself on the recipient side of the friendship. And the midst of his current vulnerable state, he feels greatly undeserving of you. Who is he kidding? You might even regret saving him from humiliation on that fateful day, ten years ago.
Sensing that your joke may have not been taken well by Jungkook, you reach out to him, placing your palm on his, trying to soothe the indignation palpable on his face. “Jungkook, I am sorry.. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know.. I know. It’s okay.” Jungkook answers, lips pursed into a tight line. You can see that he is indeed piqued, and truthfully, it is your fault. He always blames himself for the time he felt you sacrificed so much for him—like Taekwondo, for example. You convince him that it is not his fault since you can always go back to Taekwondo again—you just choose not to, but he always blames himself, thinking of the what ifs. You should not have brought it up and joked about it.
The silence then ensues, the tension between you and him thickens like you can slice it and choke it down your throat. You were about to apologize again, right when your phone rings and displays Seokjin’s name on the screen .Jungkook definitely saw the name too himself. You are hesitating whether to answer or not, before Jungkook answers it for you rigidly, jaw clenched tight. 
“Answer it.” 
When you are in the middle of conversation with Seokjin—and unimportant one, Jin is just asking what are you doing because he is bored in the middle of intensive taekwondo training, so you just casually tell him about grabbing a brunch with Jungkook—your best friend quickly flips few bills from his wallet, raising up from his seat. You swiftly hold him back, cutting off the ongoing call without even saying goodbyes. “Jungkook, where are you going?”
“I guess you must be somewhere with Seokjin, right? Let’s go, don’t want to keep the handsome boy waiting.”
The way Jungkook pronounces every word is heavy with sarcasm, and it wounds you. Is he seriously telling you that you are going to ditch him for Seokjin? Dry tears are lounging on the corner of your eyes till your visions are blurry, and it is hard to even breathe. How dare he play that game to you? Does he really think he has any right to treat you like that?
Jungkook must have noticed your contorted face and inevitable tears, and he is quick to apologize. “I am sorry, I didn't mean it like—”
“Save it.” You curtly cut him, slapping a few bills on the table. “It’s my turn to pay now. And you are correct. Thank you for that, I will find that handsome boy right now.”
If Jungkook calls you again, you are unable to hear it. Too pissed off to even breathe, your head feels like it’s about to explode along with tears that are quick to rain on your parade.
*
After you storm off the brunch with Jungkook, your afternoon class is fortunately cancelled. Instead of going with your words and meeting Seokjin, you decide you are too emotionally exhausted and head back home. So here you are, chilling in your apartment alone, watching netflix and eating popcorn after completing a long nap of five hours straight. Your phone is far ducked inside your room, as you notice Jungkook has blown off your phone for quite a while now, and you are this close to answer it so you throw it away. That bastard definitely deserves a lesson for pulling an unfunny passive aggressive prank like that.
While you are in the middle of refilling your bowl for the second batch of popcorn, your apartment door is swung opened. It is Lia, with a huge triumphant smile on her face. “Look what I brought us!”
You don’t even know the reason why, the moment you are looking at Lia’s face, you immediately remember Jungkook’s claim that he has feelings for this girl. For your best friend. For a girl who looks exactly like his ex. Damn, did you really sound that bitter?
“What is it?” You fake enthusiasm, even if what you really want to do is sigh and roll your eyes. 
“Chicken and beer! Not just chicken, this is the exact brand and flavor you like! I think since we rarely hang out nowadays, tonight we can watch bad movies together and eat and drink unhealthy food and drinks we probably will regret in the morning!” She cheerfully shouts, resting the packages of food on the table, running to her room to change into comfy clothes.
You bite your lips, regretting how undeserved she is for your cynical thoughts. You are greatly touched by her mindful gesture. Albeit harsh and sometimes cold, Lia is really affectionate at times, kind and selfless to her friends, especially you. You can’t even count how much she helped you, saving you from an embarrassment or humiliation due your sloppy and forgetful trait. The mind is indeed a dangerous place, and you should limit any possible toxicity that might be planted and grow in it.
So you and Lia jump to watch some chick flick which she always denies to like, but somehow always in tears after. One thing that you might not realize is that you often find yourself staring at her, thinking about how easy it is to like her. She is really the dream girl. Pretty, strong, funny and independent. She’s basically perfect. You even doubt Jungkook deserves her, seriously.
“Honey, another look and I think I might just go gay for you.” Lia sighs, resting the chicken drumstick on the plate. You avert your eyes on the TV, shy of being caught staring. “What is it? Are you falling for me? I swear—”
“No, I just.. Nothing.”
You are silent, busy gulping the beer to hide how flustered you are right now. Damn, are you really that obvious? “There must be something. Y/N, I will not push, but you know you can tell me everything. Nothing will surprise me, seriously.”
You nod, throwing your attention back to the movie. But not even five minutes, the curiosity gets the best of you, so you decide to mum a question to her. 
“Lia, what do you think about Jungkook?”
You kind of wish she does not hear you, but it is instantly cancelled since she answers. Yup, she can hear your silly question, loud and clear.
“Jungkook? He is hot, good looking and kind. A little dumb and blabber a little bit too much, but I think it’s manageable.” She nonchalantly answers, suddenly her prodding eyes are thrown at you. “Where does this suspicious question come from?”
“Nothing! I just want to know what you think of him.” You bitterly smile. Yes, definitely that and only that.
Another ten minutes pass and you open another question, still full of hesitation whether it’s best to ask or just keep it to yourself, yet it’s literally killing you so you ask anyway. “Hypothetically speaking. If… I don’t know, Jungkook confesses to you he likes you. Would you accept it?”
Lia looks at you strangely — like you have grown another head, when her face suddenly brightens, an imaginary light bulb practically pictured on her head. A sleazy smile is worn on her lips, her eyebrows wiggling playfully. “Ah! So that is about all this. Finally!”
“Of course! Jungkook is a nice guy, he is kind, respectful, albeit a little annoying and dumb, he is hot, which kinda makes it even. He listens well, and strangely gives good advice.” Lia brightly smiles, literally like the woman who endorses cooking items in the supermarket to middle aged mothers. “I think anyone having a monogamous relationship with that manchild is very, very lucky!”
You do notice how exaggerated and odd her sentence is, but when you are about to reply, few soft knocks are heard on your door. So keeping the words back, you wake up and mindlessly open it.
Well, It turns out to be Seokjin, and he could arguably be the last person you think would be standing in front of your doorstep now.
“Seokjin? What are you doing here, at this time of the night?”
Seokjin answers with a serene smile, his eyes sparkling amidst the dim hallway. “I am sorry to be at your doorstep this late. I just… I just want to talk to you. Is that weird?”
Your heart literally skips a beat at that. Seriously? Seokjin comes to your apartment at 10pm just to talk to you? Is this even real? “You can’t just call me? Not that I’m not glad to see you, but I don’t want to tire you. You just finished your crazy tiring training!”
“I’ve been trying to contact you, but I went into voicemail. So I guess, more reason to meet you, right?” Seokjin shyly smiles, scratching his nape. God, have you ever mentioned that he is really cute? “I hope I’m not a bother.”
“No! Of course not. But my roommate is here. Do you want to go somewhere else? I think one restaurant near here is still open.” You quickly offer and Seokjin agrees with a nod. You are hurriedly about to grab your purse, when Lia walks out to the doorstep, meeting Seokjin.
“Hi! You must be the roommate. I’m Seokjin.” Seokjin offers a hand along with a charming smile. Lia receives it with confusion written on her face. 
“Are you both going somewhere?” She asks, puzzled. You slightly run to the door, hoping there is nothing to be discussed amongst the three of you anymore.
“Yes! We are. I’ll be back soon, see you!” You quickly smile and close the door right on her face. Damn, you don’t know what has gotten into you, but you really can’t seem to shake that cautious feeling. It really needs time before you even consider letting Seokjin hang out with your nosy friends. Like Lia, or even Jungkook.
Especially Jungkook.
*
Jungkook is sitting with Taehyung, his project mate on the corner of a restaurant near your apartment. He has been trying to contact you since afternoon but you still haven’t replied to his call nor messages, it makes him feel guilty beyond words. He shouldn’t have snapped like that at you, you literally did nothing and he blew everything way out of proportion—especially when that dickhead Seokjin called you. And now he is nearly losing his mind, because he doesn’t want to spend another minute in your probable wrath. How can everything be so messed up?
“Dude, stop calling her. She’ll call you soon. Why is this such a big deal?” Taehyung groans when Jungkook relentlessly dial your number once more. He doesn’t even know why, but another call you ignore, he might combust and run to your apartment, begging for reconciliation. He is seriously just that desperate.
The call fails, yet Jungkook is still tapping on the call again button when Taehyung meddles in his pathetic best friend obsession. “Hey, stop! Why are you doing this, dude? You like this girl or what?” 
At Taehyung’s accusation, Jungkook was silent. “I don’t know. But I can’t stop, Tae. Or I’ll go crazy.”
Taehyung sighs, giving up and instead going back to his work. As long as the tasks are divided, he would not be bothered by his friend’s crazy fixation towards a so-called-friend. Seriously, why do people even want to monogamously date? It’s such a hassle, and unimportant. Girlfriends are liabilities, and Jungkook of all people should know it!
After being rejected for another three calls, Jungkook finally gives up, slamming the phone on the desk. “I give up. She’ll never answer. Fuck it, I need to work.”
Taehyung glances at that guy trying to focus on the task in front of him. Everyone can see how out of place he is—if there’s a guarantee Jungkook will not land a punch to his precious face, he really wants to tease him right now it is hilarious. Damn, his friend is whipped.
Amongst the silence, Jungkook’s phone suddenly rings. Throwing the thousand page book in his grasps right away, he answers it like a madman—probably without even checking the caller. It must not be the girl of his dreams, since his hopeful puppy face instantly sombers.
“Of course not! How can I, we just got into a fight.”
After listening to the faint caller’s word, his knuckles intimidatingly whiten due, jaw tightening. “Seriously? They are leaving now?”
A few banter and the call ends, but Taehyung can see how bothered the guy is after the call. He is no longer bothered to even pretend he is working, instead his eyes hollow, zooming out to nothingness. But another five minutes, a slight tingling from the entrance bell is heard and Jungkook feels like his heart is about to fall out he instinctively ducks his head. Taehyung tries to steal a look to the source of attention, and it’s you, the girl he has seen a lot previously with Jungkook and Seokjin… Together while holding hands.
Oh, oh. This is bad.
Jungkook really should just storm out. He is never the masochist type, but somehow curiosity gets the best of him so he stays, his work is completely ignored. He focuses on glaring to the other side of the restaurant where you and Seokjin sit near the window, nonchalant to his presence while lively and affectionately talking to each other. And for fuck sake, can fucking Seokjin get his hands off you? It takes everything in his power to ignore the need to slap those dirty paws away.
“Jungkook, we should go..” Taehyung silently pleads, noticing how tense his friend has become since you and Seokjin arrived. But Jungkook is unable to hear or sense anything, was too focused on probing both of you while trying not to be caught.
It is a rather short meal, as you and Seokjin only ordered a dessert to share and Jungkook is irritated. You finished a bowl of ice cream in one sitting and you can’t seriously get a dessert for your own? Disgusting—After approximately thirty minutes, you and Seokjin head out, hand by hand with a sickeningly shy smile on both of your faces.
Jungkook thinks that is the end of it, thank God he can finally breathe. But how wrong he was to even think he will remain unscathed, because as both of you stand in front of the restaurant, Seokjin bravely pulls you closer by the nape and crashes his lips on yours. It feels like a punch to Jungkook’s gut, seeing how blissful both of you are engaged in a sweet kiss, your hands on his cheek and his hands clasped on your waist. There’s the anger, the jealousy raging inside Jungkook’s chest at the moment that it’s even difficult to breathe. 
As now both of you and Seokjin have left the scene, Taehyung forces himself from the tense situation to steal a glance at Jungkook. Just seeing him—staring at the ceiling with no expression whatsoever—radiates the devastation and frustration he is currently experiencing. God, Taehyung hopes he will never have to experience that kind of emotion in his life.
*
During ten years of friendship with Jungkook, you never knew what it feels to have him avoid you. But now that you are exactly being treated like a plague by him, you wish you were warned beforehand because it fucking hurts. And you have no idea how or why, and you have no one to console your loss — not even Seokjin, or Lia. Well it mostly because you don’t want them to realize how fucking dependent you are to Jungkook, it’s pathetic.
“Kitten, you are spazzing out. Are you sure you are okay?”
Seokjin’s words are nearly lost on you, and the moment his hand is on yours, you unconsciously flinch. He is now examining you, with a gaze full of worry. 
“If you are feeling not okay, we can just go home.” Seokjin kindly offers, but you shake your head fervently, not wanting to wallow again in your sadness. You can’t take this away from Seokjin, when it’s his dearest fellow frat brothers—especially the seniors who are having the party. Seokjin as the angel he is will not let you be alone in your apartment.
Since the day you meet Jungkook for brunch, a week has passed and it seems like you and him are in the middle of a cold war. It’s not like you are not speaking to each other, but every word coming from him speaks distance and you are tired and just stop trying—yet it doesn’t lessen the pain. And now you are going with Seokjin for his frat party, and you know Jungkook will be there—it might be the reason you are simultaneously eager and despise going to the party. You are terribly anxious about facing him, but you can’t back down when you know you did nothing wrong.
In front of the frat house, Seokjin holds your hand and brushes his lips to your temple as an encouragement. “Let’s go in, shall we?”
You throw your gaze at Seokjin’s side profile. Seriously, what did you do to deserve him? He is seriously the kindest soul out there, always looking for your best interest. He never hesitates to go big for you, yet you can help but to feel guilty. He is too kind. Too perfect. And you can’t shake this feeling of undeserving and owning him everything to him.
The moment your feet step into the party, your eyes instantly fall to someone so familiar yet so strange—Jungkook. He is leaning on a sofa, talking animatedly with two girls on either side, leeching to him like they are willing to take turns to suck him dry. You roll your eyes in disgust. What were you expecting? That Jungkook might go celibate and seriously get a grip on his life? You must be drunk. That bastard can’t even face the fact that he likes someone and actually does something about it.
Yes. He likes Lia. But being a total fuckboy is not what someone should do when he seriously likes someone, right? You just want the best for him, not wanting Jungkook to waste another time when he can have someone he truly likes instead of engaging in another one night stand.
While Seokjin is chatting with his group of friends, you excuse yourself to grab a drink. He, as the gentleman he is, offers to accompany you, but you refuse—mentioning it will only take a short while. And after finally settling in the kitchen where you can finally have a space for your own, you heave few deep breaths. You do not know exactly why, but being surrounded among strangers always sends you to a nervous bundle. 
That’s exactly the reason why you always avoid going to parties. You wanted to tell Seokjin about the anxiety you feel, but you feel like it’s too much of a burden to throw on him so you just swallow everything and hope for the best—but now you regret everything. At least previously, you have Lia and you are assured she is going to take care of you. Not that you don’t think Seokjin will not, but the trust issue you have for nearly everyone is not going to go away when you literally only know him for one freaking month.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Suddenly, a familiar voice is heard and you look behind, seeing Jungkook with a worried gaze, his palm soothing your back. “You don’t really look good. Does the party bother you?”
You bask in his appearance, and sense the anxiety building up inside your head crashes into a loud sob. Seeing such a familiar face, worried about your well-being somehow instantly relieves you, and the emotion is excessive and you inevitably feel the urge to cry. 
“Hey, hey. Don’t cry.” Jungkook whispers, pulling you inside his arms and enveloping you with the ever-so-familiar warmth. His fingers forming circles in your back, just the way he used to calm you on every rainy day, while you clutch into his jacket for dear life. 
“Why do you even come here, you idiot? You should have let me know.”
His ignorant statement somehow flares the anger inside you, and you irritatedly push him away with both your palms. Jungkook is a jerk, and you do not deserve any of this. “How can I let you know, Jungkook? When it’s crystal clear you are avoiding me. I haven’t heard anything other than your one two word messages. I can’t even call you!” 
The guilt is definitely painted on his face, confirming a guess that has been going around your head. He truly was avoiding you. “I—I don’t mean it like that…”
“What wrong did I do, Jungkook? How can you do this to me?” You whimper sadly. All the frustration inside you is coming out. “I know I was wrong, but this is not how we resolve things, Jungkook. You know it. And you can’t even tell me what’s wrong directly to my face, or even try to reconcile our friendship, instead you go back to partying, eye fucking two girls at the same time when I’m standing right here. Do you even know how it makes me feel?”
“It’s not that!” Jungkook defends himself, feeling the obnoxious guilt seeping inside his heart. He feels at fault now seeing how heartbroken you look, and the fact that he is the one causing them. It’s like he is finally awoken, that he has been selfishly trying to redeem himself from a one-sided love for his childhood best friend without thinking about how you feel. But in his defense, he thought you would be okay! 
“I...I just thought now that you have Seokjin, you won’t be needing me no more. He seems to be such a better companion than I am. And I know you like him so much, Y/N, I feel like...”
“Hey. Are you okay?” 
All of a sudden, Seokjin appears in the kitchen, staring at both you and Jungkook standing in front of each other with somber looks on each of your faces. He definitely was about to say something, but like he sobers up and puts up a thin smile and reaches out to you. “You take a long time to get a drink, so I thought I should check up on you.”
You quickly grab the nearest bottle of beer, giving a short, civilized smile to Jungkook to handle the pain throbbing inside his chest. You desperately need space away from him, swearing that you would do anything to avoid breakdown in the middle of a frat party filled with tons of strangers. “Excuse me.”
“Hey, Seokjin! Get your girl, we are going to play!”
That trademark voice was definitely Hoseok’s, gesturing you to join the circle of group with countless shots in the center—which is literally a recipe for a disastrous night. Seokjin is about to wave him off, intending to focus on your well being instead, but that is seriously the last thing you want to do right now. All you need is alcohol—lots of them and avoid whatever internal conflict you are having since that’s what you do best. Hence, you pull the older guy closer to the group cheering them on, forcing him to sit down beside you. 
“Hey, we don’t have to do this if you are not comfortable.” Seokjin consoles, his hands smoothing on your thigh. 
“But I want to!” You fake a cheer, pretending to sound enthusiastic. “I haven’t done this in a long time. I wanna do this again.”
Jimin—one of the other frat brothers, is counting the people and after clicks his tongue in dissatisfaction. “We need one more. Hey, Jungkook, come here!”
You quickly snap your head towards your so-called best friend, who just came out from the kitchen from your previous unpleasant encounter. Just a glance and you can see how messed up he looks right now. Jungkook seriously was about to flip Jimin off, instead wallowing himself in sadness and regret. But seeing you sitting in the circle, he gets no other choice but to accept the offer. All that he can think about is the annoying frat buddies of his who might force you to do the things you despise, along with your occasional social anxiety that might ruin everything for you. He will never forget himself if they happen without him there, when he had the opportunity to. He’ll do it, regardless of your current distaste for him.
“Okay! So we are going to play Never Have I Ever!” Jimin shouts, and your stomach dips in nerves. God, are you seriously going to do it? But then you feel a certain concerned stare is directed towards you, and your pride forces you to act nonchalant. You are not going to let Jungkook think he needs to babysit you again. The previous thing in the kitchen is humiliating enough, you don’t need another second. 
“It’s the usual. if you have done it before, drink a shot! Don’t worry, we have abundant alcohol supply and our dearest freshmen right here, kindly volunteer to refill the glasses.” You emphatically look amongst the fellow freshmen, standing outside the circle with bottles of alcohol in their hands. God, this reminds you why frat people are seriously the worst.
“I’ll start! Okay. Never have I ever sexted someone during class.”
A series of groans are heard in the circle, few people—some that you know are Taehyung, Hoseok, and even the smartest of the frat boys, Namjoon bottoms up their respective drinks. Seriously? They pay tuition to sext during class. What a disgrace.
And of course Jungkook’s glass is empty too. What did you expect?
Next is Hoseok. “Never have I ever faked an orgasm before!”
Well, that one is on you, but you are just glad to be able to finally drink. And damn is it good to finally have alcohol buzzing inside your system—it’s been way too long. After drinking his own, Seokjin offers to exchange your empty glass into a full one. You send a thankful smile his way.
“Never have I ever sent a nude to someone.”
Well, that's correct on your previous relationship with a dickhead in your high school. Wow, you feel the slight kick, but since your tolerance is quite high, your tongue still craves for more.
“Never have I had a threesome before.”
Your eyes curiously find Jungkook, as he bottoms up his third glass of the game, with only a few of the people there drink—Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin and one of the unknown girls. Not that you did not expect it, but you find yourself mildly uncomfortable and somehow disappointed with the facts. He is Jungkook. You should have known it.
“Never have I ever roleplay mommy / daddy kink during sex.”
You detect Seokjin shyly drinking his glass, and you fake a gasp. The alcohol on your spine and the great atmosphere are a success in bringing up your mood. “Wow, I knew it! It’s all so clear, you must have daddy kink!” You let out a belly laugh as he softly pinches your waist, still abashed to the new found fact. What you miss is Jungkook shooting daggers both your ways and Taehyung on his side giving him a few comforting taps on the back.
“Never have I ever liked someone else when I was in a relationship!”
The question somehow kills every fun you have, as you silently recall your previous relationships. There was definitely something on your mind, but you quickly pushed them back. No. It did not make sense and still does, and it was something you chose to bury a long time ago. Pretending it never exists is way easier.
But when you straighten your back to regain your sense, your eyes instantly find Jungkook sipping on his alcohol whilst glaring at you, before throwing his back and bottoming it up. Not only that, even after he slams the glass back on the table he is still giving you the same intent stare. What does he want from you? If he is trying to mess with your mind it is not working—so you faked nonchalance, waiting for the next question, yet your mind is busy thinking about who might be on the receiving end of Jungkook’s feelings while he was in a relationship with his bitch of an ex.
The game goes on for another round, and boy was it a mess. As time goes by, the questions are getting out of hand, until a point you seriously think you need to see your therapist due to how traumatic the questions are. During the game you only drink five glasses, which is still not enough for you—and Seokjin, who apparently has a great alcohol resistance as well. The game ended when Hoseok and Taehyung were hugging each other with two bottles of vodka between them, noisily faking smooches sound to each other.
When Seokjin offers to walk away from the rainsacked table, one of the friends whom you recognize as Yoongi holds him back with a tactful smile. “Hey, Seokjin! I’m bored, Let’s play!”
“Yoongi, I think that’s enough play. I think me and Y/N are just going to talk.” Seokjin calmly refuses, when Jungkook comes to Yoongi's side, resting his arm on the smaller man with his face bright red, looking totally buzzed.
“Ugh, that’s so boring! Why don’t we just play a game!”
You snort when you can smell his breath reeking with booze. No wonders though, he only missed two shots during that godforsaken game. “Jungkook—”
“No! I want to play!” He childishly pouts again. Here goes Jungkook acting like a nine year old whenever he is drunk. You roll your eyes agitatedly. Can he grow up already? “I want to beat you and this boyfriend of yours. Let’s play beer pong!”
“That’s a great idea, Jungkook! I think for the prize the winner can ask the loser for anything.” Yoongi shows his gummy smiles forming a smirk. Seokjin was about to discard the offer when his friend cleverly ignited another fire. “What, you don’t think you can win? Or do you just don’t get the nerves to? Too scared to be beaten down in front of your girlfriend?”
Somehow the conversation is loud enough that it attracts people, and now everyone is wooing the provocative statement from Yoongi. He has been silent throughout the previous game, and you don’t even know why he is so keen about playing beer pong with you and Seokjin. Can’t he just ask someone else instead? But you are assured, since one thing you learned from athletes like Seokjin, he is not easily provoked by such cheap statements. 
“You are on.” He grimaces as you gape, not expecting the sudden plottwist. How can he just approve? Damn him, you seriously do not want anything to do with these frat boys! “But I swear to god if you lose, I am going to force you to kiss this manchild for fucking five minutes in front of everybody.”
“Well that’s not really a punishment if I will enjoy it, but go on.” Jungkook drunkenly shouts, Yoongi palpably shudders beside him. The crowd laughter goes wild, as other freshmen—you seriously really feel bad for them now—sets up the red solo cups on the table. Your head spins in confusion, as you literally have not once played beer pong before. It’s a lost cause, and you are going to be punished by those evil spawns!
“Seokjin, I seriously can’t play for shit!” You hisses in worry while Seokjin smiles as an assurance.
“No worry, Y/N. I am a reigning champion of beer pong is this godforsaken frat. We will surely win.” He holds you by the shoulder. You send a judging gaze to Jungkook as he pretends to look nonchalant, confidently rubbing his palm together. Damn, you really want to smack him in that idiotic drunk ass face of his. What a jerk! You just hope Jin is truly as good as he claims, because if not, you are completely, utterly fucked. And not even a good one.
The first thing you did wrong was to believe Seokjin is just as good as his words, because Yoongi—who you just knew is the captain of the basketball team—completely triumphs him through every shot. And you already in peace with the fact that your aiming skill is the worst thing that could happen to you, so there goes scoring zero. That bastard Jungkook, somehow amidst the drunkenness is able to score a lot as well—probably due to the fact that he also plays football. Now that you think about it, the game itself does not make sense. And not only that you lose, the glasses you shove down your throat are quite a lot, to the point you can finally feel the buzz of alcohol in your spine. Just fucking perfect!
“Yes! We win!” Jungkook gleefully shouts, seeing the last red cup in front of your table has the shiny yellow ball in it. Seokjin sighs in defeat, quickly taking the last glass and drinking it, completely forfeited. You groan, rubbing your aching temple. This is gonna be rough.
“Wow! Do we finally have the winner here?!” Yoongi shouts with mirth, as the crowd woo. “Well, I don’t want to hold you back, let’s cut to the chase, shall we? I am just giving you a taste of your medicine. You can now make out with the bride.” Everyone snickers, and you are too shy to even look at Seokjin. “But we don’t want porn here, so just three minutes?”
“Are you okay with this? I can make him stop.” Seokjin asks calmly, as Yoongi snickers about his friend’s cringey thoughtfulness. Well now that everyone’s looking at you, you ain’t really got any choice, right? So you hesitantly nod as a permission, before Seokjin encloses his lips on you, and all you can sense is the deafening shouts of the crowd.
And Jungkook’s deflated back while exiting the room.
*
Two hours after the last disastrous beer pong and a three-minutes exhibitionist makeout session with Seokjin, you are shocked to still find yourself sitting at the frat party. Seokjin has asked you multiple times if you want to head home, but you refuse, feeding him lies about somehow still enjoying the party. Truthfully, you don’t even know what he is holding you back. You stopped drinking after the game, instead drinking lots of water to avoid a bad hangover in the morning. The party is dull, especially when you are no longer drinking and alone—Seokjin is asked by a few fellow final year friends to join them for a drink outside, so you assure him you’ll be okay staying back. All you do now is keep an eye on your so-called best friend, shoving alcohol down his throat like there’s no tomorrow. There were few girls around him, but the way Jungkook was not having it and instead focusing on the drinks—his nonchalance probably bore them so they fled, locking on other frat boys as targets. It is only Taehyung now with him, who looks just as drunk as he is. Literal dumbasses.
Amongst the loud bass thumping inside the room, your phone vibrates. You quickly excuse yourself from a couple who is now making out beside you—god, you seriously thought the girl was interested in talking to you before, but now she just ignores you while shoving her tongue down the boy’s throat!—and walks out to pick up the call. Against your expectation, it is Jungkook’s brother, Junghyun on the other side of the call..
“Y/N! Y/N, I am so glad you pick up!” Junghyun shouts loudly, sounds greatly relieved after listening to your greetings. You chuckle, realize it has been quite a long time since you heard from him. You desperately need to visit him sometimes, instead of constantly hanging out with his idiot younger brother.
“Hey, do you know where Jungkook is? We actually have to fly to Busan tomorrow morning, so we expect him to be home now. He even brought the car with him!” Junghyun shouts filled with stress, then you scrunch your eyebrow in confusion. He will fly tomorrow morning, so why did he even bother to come to the party? You scoff in disbelief.
“Yes, oppa. I am in the same party with him, but he is not looking real good.” You answer, looking inside the frat house. Well, not that his brother is unaware of Jungkook’s current trait of drinking and partying—not that he supports it—but you just think that he would be more responsible in his choices, and the your disappointment at him is vivid as a day. Making his family worried, all because he just wants to party which he nearly does every week? It’s shallow even for him. “But I’ll get him home now, no worries.”
Junghyung release a relieved sigh. “You’re a lifesaver, thank you!”
After a shot goodbye, you close the call and furiously march inside the frat house, right to Jungkook’s side. He is still drinking, but now looking severely drunk while unreasonably laughing with Taehyung, and now Jimin as an addition. Three drunk guys are never a good combination. “Jungkook, you fucking idiot, let’s go home!” 
With that Taehyung whistle loudly, tapping Jungkook on the back fervently, pepping him. “It’s Y/N! God, finally she is asking you to get something-something!” You scrunch your eyebrows at the drunk ass guy with a reddened face. You are earnestly curious for what booze he is having so you can avoid drinking it forever.
“You want to go home? Let’s go home, babygirl.” Jungkook lowly whispers whilst standing up, but before you can even react to such provocative words, he limps—probably dizzy from consuming too much alcohol. You circle his arms on your shoulder, helping him cause you are certain he is unable to walk on his own now.
Limping to the outside of the house at the best speed you can do, you find his car is parked a few meters from where you both stand. You grumble, swearing that you would keep a tab in every kindness you give to this unthankful moron. 
“Hmm, you smell nice.” Jungkook whispers, the tip of his nose settles on the crook of your neck, brushing it to your skin repetitiously as he hums in delight. All of a sudden you feel like it is hard to breath, your nape hair standing from such impulse. Damn, how can he take so much reaction out of you? It’s totally unfair! “I love your smell, babygirl. I wish I could smell you everyday.”
“Jungkook, I smell like booze, smoke and sweat. And what the fuck is wrong with you!” You hiss, trying to calm your irregular heartbeat. And you can always trust Jungkook to somehow flirt with you in the middle of his drunken antics. “I need to get you home, Jungkook. Don’t make me throw you on the street, okay?”
Listening to your cold answer, Jungkook pouts, his arms fold on his chest. The luring persona he had is now replaced to the childish one, and you can’t believe you have to deal with it now. “You are being a meanie to Jungkook! You have to apologize!”
Boy did he mean it, because he is now refusing to enter the car until you apologize. You sigh in distress — but some part of you do enjoy the cute banter with your drunk best friend. You are definitely going to tease him about this after he is sober.  “Okay! I apologize, Jungkook. I won’t throw you away, and I will get you home safely. Satisfied?” He nods with a foolish smile.
Then you realize that you don’t know where he places his car keys at, so you ignore the warning in your head and search his pockets, trying to disregard that he is wearing tight-ass pants that force you to feel him up somehow. God, you can’t even shake the embarrassment creeping to your cheek. Where the hell is that key?!
“Y/N, do you seriously want to do it here? I want out first time to be in bed, please.” Jungkook politely says, like he did not just imply about sleeping with you — instead asking for a candy. You whimper, greatly embarrassed even if you know it’s only a drunken act. He does not mean it in any way possible, so the flutters inside your heart should stop! You curse yourself, despising how his words are now affecting your wellbeing.
After finding the key in his left back pocket, you open the door to him and he kindly obeys, but you take the chance and purposefully hit him in the head with the door. Serves him right! As Jungkook winces while bearing the physical pain, you gladly saunter to the driver's side, turning on the car and heading it to Jungkook’s address—which you already remember like your own, located not really far from university.
Few minutes pass in silence, so you think Jungkook already fell asleep, when a sudden question is heard and throws you away to shock.
“Do you like kissing Seokjin?”
“What the fuck—” You look at him, thinking he is joking but you find him staring back at you, eyes dead serious while his face is painted with no trace of mirth whatsoever. It sends you jitter and nerves all over your body. “Jungkook, I don’t understand why you are asking that.”
“I just want to know if he is a good kisser or not.”
“He doesn’t need to be a good kisser to make me like kissing him.”
You heard Jungkook’s breath hitched like it’s so hard to believe. “So you like kissing him?”
“That’s beside the point, Jungkook. I am just stating a fact cause your logic is flawed.”
You most definitely underestimated the level of distressfulness in his question when Jungkook literally growls, not liking the mind games you are playing on him. “I’m serious. Do. you. like. kissing. him. or not!”
“I don’t know why you are asking that, since it’s literally you who asks for the fucking beer pong game. Not to mention, it’s you who wants me to bone this guy, Jungkook.” You whisper, reminding him of the day he offers you to come to Hoseok’s birthday party. “That question is weird, I am not answering that.”
“I regret that day, everyday…” You hear him mutter silently while looking outside the window. You quickly warn yourself to avoid overthinking it. It’s unhealthy, and you’ve been here before! Better to turn off your feelings before everything gets messy on your side.
“Why do you even have to be bad at beer pong?! It’s just shooting fucking ball to a cup. How bad can you be to not even score a point?!” Jungkook childishly huffs, and you take a few deep breaths to stop yourself from landing a punch to his devilishly handsome drunk face. What you are going to do is ignore him, like an adult you truly are.
But the silence is too much and you just want to talk to him, hence opening up a new topic. “Jungkook, you know you have to leave for Busan tomorrow. You shouldn’t be partying the day before. Have you even packed?”
Jungkook looks at you and sighs, like he is mentally and physically drained—well, as he should from drinking that much. “How can I, when there’s a chance you are going to the party as well.”
You raise your eyebrow, unsure. “What are you saying?”
Jungkook scoffs in disbelief when grasping how clueless you actually are. “I don’t know what fucking Seokjin has asks you to believe, but I am still your best friend, Y/N.  Since we were kids. I know you like the back of my hand, I know how you hate parties, how you dislike being around strangers, and I know how dangerous it is to be with these frat boys.”
He pauses. “And frankly, I just can’t trust Seokjin. Even with ten years of friendship, I’m still finding new, wonderful things about you and you expect me to trust a fucker who only knows you for a month? Seriously. I only trust myself to be capable of taking care of you.”
The sincerity in his words and gaze, how determined he is with his words seriously blinded your sanity—this part of you trying to assure that what he says is strictly platonic. Your heart is beating so fast it is literally painful to even breath, all the butterflies in your stomach fly without a care in the world. Does he really mean it? Do you even want to know what he means by the words?
The rest of the way passes in tense silence, both of you busy in each of your thoughts, and the car already approaches the street of his house. You sigh, putting on the break when you finally arrive in front of his house lane. “This is it, Jungkook. Go home, get some sleep. Don’t forget to eat some aspirin, and please wake up in time for your flight.”
Jungkook somberly nods, clicking his seatbelt off. You were about to say something, anything about addressing the elephant inside the car—to confirm whether he meant his words, whether he is indeed jealous of the punishment kiss with Seokjin. But then he beats you to it.
“Can I ask you one thing? And please promise me you will answer this.” He stares at you, and you hesitatingly hum as an answer, the tension is hard to miss.
“Answer me truthfully. Do you like kissing him? Seokjin, I mean.”
You sigh, not believing how still hung up Jungkook is on the matter. “Jungkook—”
“I know you like this guy so much, Y/N. I don't even want to ask that. I just want to know if you like the kiss. I wish this guy sucks in kissing, at least let me live with that.”
You look up to him, cheeks turning vermillion as he braves himself to look into your eyes. Your heart swells in pride, thinking how important it is to confirm that to you. God, has he really been this cute before?
“It was okay.” 
Listening to your answer, Jungkook smiles widens from ear to ear, like he is completely over the moon with okay as an answer. “Just okay? Not mind blowing whatsoever?” 
“It was okay.” You repeat, not confirming nor denying his latter question, but Jungkook still looks pleased with just the same answer. The manchild then hums, throwing both his arms around you, enveloping you into a hug so close like he never wants to let go. After a good minute he finally lets go, still with a million-dollar smile on his face and... rests his forehead on yours, closing his eyes as he breathes your scent in. This time, you are definitely sure you are going to schedule a slot with a cardiologist because there must be something wrong with your heart for beating that fast. There must be. And then his eyes flutter open, showing a strained gaze filled with anonymous emotion. 
“Are you going to be mad if I were to kiss you now?”
At Jungkook’s hushed questions, the temptation to taste his lips and comply with his request has you blinded, so you let go of your sanity and approve with a shy nod. The realistic side of you is quickly shut down as you don’t want to argue with it now. All you are thinking and craving about is to kiss him, or else you are going to die.
As his lips advances, the kiss finally happens. You can vividly feel the fireworks light up inside your chest—a strange yet wonderful feeling, the first time you ever feel this away while kissing someone. Jungkook’s lips are soft, touching you slowly like he is testing the waters. After he feels your careful reply, he sends more pressure, slowly but sure savoring your lips like he is taking his dearest time with you. Boy did he taste amazing—like a good whiskey, even if it’s probably all on him. The kiss feels amazing, yet you find yourself getting impatient with how it progresses, since all you can think is to feel him close. God, you must have lost your mind.
“Patience, pumpkin.” He teases, and you can feel a sleazy smile formed on his lips. You snort in annoyance, but he unexpectedly uses it to his advantage, stealthily shoving down his tongue inside your mouth cave. You gasp when the taste of alcohol kicks in, but is content nevertheless. You can’t even describe how good it is to have him close, your fingers entangled in his beautiful oak brown silk hair, his hands tightly encircled on your waist. How did you even think about spending a lifetime without kissing him?
“God, can I have you now? But I hate doing it in the car—I want our first time to be special.” 
Somehow, his desperate words instantly sobers your lust-clouded head, viciously taking you back to reality. So he really thinks of you that easily. And like you are saved by the bell, his brother appears from inside the house, probably realizing that the car has arrived but yet to show his brother—for a bit way too long. You curtly shove him away, heading outside the car before slamming the door vigorously. Of course. Of fucking course that is going to happen! What do you expect? He kisses you once and is finally ready to take your hand in marriage? You should’ve known better than to fall for the same tricks he played on those dumb girls. He even does it while drunk, for god sake. You should’ve known better!
With heavy self-disappointment you quickly open your phone, opening an app to order your ride home. All you want to do is now wail in sadness, and promise yourself to never let that happen again. You are too focused on your plan to flee, so when you feel Jungkook’s touch against your skin, you instinctively flinch. You can see how pained he is to see your reaction closing him off, yet you keep your mouth shut, not wanting to say even a word to him. The more you think about what just happened, the stronger the ache you feel, so you decided to just stop trying. You desperately need some time alone.
“Y/N! You are here. Thank you so much from bringing Jungkook home. This kid never learns, I swear.” Junghyun smiles, nonchalant to the tense air between you and Jungkook. You put up a fake smile of reassurance to the older guy, shrugging his worry.
“Are you going home? I can drive you, just let me take this guy in first.” Junghyun kindly offers, but you quickly recide. How can you do that when just in a few hours they are going to fly to Busan? They are seriously too kind.
“I ordered my taxi, it will arrive soon, oppa. No worries!” You brightly smile, not minding the obvious stares of Jungkook on your skin. You thank your lucky stars after the white taxi of your choice gladfully is near enough, and the blinding light of the taxi car lamp finally allows you to breathe. “It’s here!”
“Hyung, please take the details of the taxi, will you?” 
While entering the taxi you hear Jungkook’s subtle request to his brother, yet you pretend to be clueless, since it is better this way. You can’t. You shouldn’t. You don’t want to mess with the things you have now. You are so conflicted you don’t even know what to do with yourself.
“Text me when you get home.” Jungkook rigidly murmurs and you nod with the same manner. The taxi finally moves, and after a few seconds of total silence, you find the tears you have been holding for a while finally free, raining down on your cheeks.
*
Finally ending the fateful night, you arrive in your apartment and cry yourself to sleep. You feel betrayed, you feel dirty, you feel played and used. You do not know what has gotten into you to seriously think you are special to Jungkook, but that’s definitely not the case since he just caught up in the moment and just needed you to wet his dick. After that, you are going to ruin a ten year old friendship just because you can’t keep your feelings in hand like he can’t keep his dick inside his pants. You should’ve seen it coming—but now the damage is done, there is no use of regretting the things you can’t change. Yet ever since that day you can’t even sleep, eat, study, or basically do anything without thinking about him.
Especially since in the morning he left for Busan, he informed you through a message that he will be there for a week, and after that he needs to talk to you. You haven’t even replied, leaving him only on read even if that’s basically what you are thinking about night and day. What is he going to say? Is he going to reject you? Is he going to say how disgusted he is for that night? Is he going to tell you should not be friends anymore? There are countless scenarios playing in your head, and not even one is as what you wish it would be. Just an endless count of rejection and humiliation.
So the night before he is coming back, you are seated coated in your blanket in your apartment, right in front of your TV even though you don’t even know what show is playing. You are just zoning out, racking your brains for reasons that you need to say to Jungkook to avoid meeting him tomorrow. Do you just pretend you are sick? Or can you bail on him? But thinking about Jungkook, waiting alone in a cafe makes you sad and guilty, so you immediately cancel that last option. God, what are you going to do?
Too invested in your thoughts, you do not notice Lia is just in front of you. You finally acknowledge her presence when after she is now waving a plastic of delicious smelling food in front of your face. “Hey, earth to Y/N!” She calls you again, the agitation builds up for the past week of being ignored by her own roommate.
“Honey, seeing you like this makes me sad.” She sighs, resting the plastic on the desk. “I brought offering food, and with this I hope you can finally tell me what’s wrong.”
You sigh, realizing how annoyed she must be seeing you like this. You have been closed off on her as well, keeping the event from a week ago only for yourself. It just doesn’t feel right talking about it with someone Jungkook admitted he likes… Which suddenly pops an idea inside your brilliant head. God! How can you not think of it before?!
You widely let out an ear-to-ear smile which frankly scares Lia due to the drastic change of mood. But you couldn't care less. You need to do this, to save the remaining pieces of your friendship with Jungkook and give him a helpful hand as well.
“Lia, honey, can you please help me with something?”
*
Jungkook arrives at Gimpo International Airport at 5.40pm, along with his parents and brother. After going back for the wedding of his relatives, every new day he can’t wait to finally be back in Seoul. He is worried as hell about you, since he is aware that he did make a mistake that night—he scares you with his overwhelming feelings, but he promises himself to make things right. He would be crazy to let you go that easily. Jungkook definitely felt something from you that night—there is a glimpse of hope that you somehow like him too, and now he is helplessly hanging on to that rope.
After telling you he needed to see you after he got back, you left him on read for a few days and he had to confess that he was so moody and off during those days, constantly pissing everyone around him. But how can he not? He thought he lost his chance. What if Seokjin took those days to convince you how much better of a man he is than him? What if you had enough of him and dump his ass? Or worse, what if you think you can no longer even be friends? Those thoughts constantly bothered him, but when you message time and place to meet him, he feels comforted. He trusted you—you are much better of a person than what his pessimistic mind forced him to believe.
So when his flight arrives, he directly goes to take the train instead of going with his family’s car, heading to the restaurant you informed. As you informed him about the dinner—7pm reservation, he carefully calculated his ETA. Jungkook is a bit confused due to your choice of place—you don’t really fancy Mexican food, but he pays no heed as what he can only focus is what he is about to say and the gift he thought thoroughly and carefully before, secured on his backpack. Jungkook silently smiles. He is going to make this right.
Exactly an hour arrival, he is now in the area of the restaurant. He quickly hitch a taxi, asking the driver to drive as fast as he can since his plan was to arrive first before you. The hope grows dimmer as seconds pass, especially when his taxi is caught in the middle of a traffic jam. Jungkook groans, there is no hesitation that he will be late. He quickly send you an apology by text, in which you do not even read—adding more anxiety to his already existing one.
After a few minutes which passes like a thousand years, he finally arrives in the said restaurant. He slaps a few bills at the driver, not even waiting for a change as he runs inside, nervously tapping his foot after mentioning your name as a reservation. His heart is beating fast, his palms turn clammy, and he feels jittery all over his body. God, the feeling has already been too long to even remember. But he can’t deny that it indeed feels nice. It feels amazing to care and have real emotions this deeply about someone.
Instead of finding the face he has been thinking of night and days, he finds a completely different woman, sitting nervously on the table. He is too overwhelmed to even speak.
“You—What are you doing here?!”
Jungkook can’t even believe his eyes. It’s Lia, your best friend, sitting on the table right now. All at once, his head spins followed by a sudden nausea bubbling up his throat from the great shock. He has been expecting you—to see your face again waiting for him with a smile, to tell you how much you mean to him, to finally confess and give him a gift he carefully picks out for you—but instead you set him up for dinner with your best friend, without letting either of them know. He feels rejected, a wave of sadness crashing at him that he can only weakly sit down, his legs nearly giving him up. He is now mourning on so-selfless yet so idiotic action you do him.
“God, Y/N asked me for dinner together, and he actually set me up with you? What the fuck?!” Lia flares angrily, taking her phone and fervently dialing up your number. Seeing how ugly it can get, Jungkook takes the phone away, closing the call. “What are you doing?!” She hisses.
“I.. I accidentally lied to her that I like you instead of her when she caught us meeting that morning.” Jungkook whispers, his throat too dry for catching up in the sadness. “And now she is setting us up together.”
“God, it all makes sense now! She actually asked me how I feel about you, and knowing you like her, I put good words. Could it be that she thinks I like you too?” She gasps, but Jungkook is already too numb in the feeling. “God, she is such a moron sometimes!”
“That’s okay. It’s just clear now. I know she does not have any feelings for me, and she might be too afraid to say so. She is probably already with Seokjin now.” Jungkook bitterly whispers, trying to uphold his voice yet it still wound him so fucking bad. Of course that is it. Seokjin is a whole perfect package for a man, not a child with zero emotional capacity like him. He must be drunk to even think about competing with that man.
“No, that's not it..” Lia shakes her head fervently at Jungkook’s helpless posture. “I believe she broke up whatever relationship she had with Seokjin. Don’t tell her you know this from me, but they kinda did it in our apartment hallways a few days ago and I accidentally—well not really accidental but that’s not the point—heard! I thought she was extremely quiet and sad because of that!”
He is confused, he really is, but now he knows the fact, there must be something he has not known yet. “Are you sure?” Jungkook rises up to his seat, strangely motivated. Not that he wants to take advantage of your odd break up with Seokjin for his personal advantage, he just wants to be there for you — like what best friends would do.
“Are you okay if I leave you now?” Jungkook kindly asks, and Lia shoo him away boredly, eyes already skimming on the menu.
“Don’t need no boys helping me eat, but you owe me a lot after this, bro. You get it?” With a nod of confirmation and a short smile, Jungkook quickly heads to the place he knew he would find you.
*
You don’t even know what you are doing, seated in the usual coffee shop you always visit with Jungkook. You have been sitting in the cafe for nearly two hours, munching on the countless foods you order from the menu, yet you can’t hold back the obnoxious, ugly feeling in your chest — especially when the barista is asking where Jungkook is when you ordered your usual. It’s literally on you—you were the one setting up both your best friends who greatly deserve and like each other together, so why is it so painful to face the possibility that they are having a nice date in her favorite Mexican restaurant right now?
Great. Now you are crying. God, you must look hideous, no make up, alone with plates of food in front of you. You can’t even imagine what people must be thinking about you right now, since even you are disgusted with yourself.
“I better go home.” You sigh, ready to pick the bill when a soft bell tingling is heard and you do not know whether you can believe your eyes or not, but it signals Jungkook’s entrance. He is wearing a dark blue sweater you bought him for his birthday a year ago, walking pensively to your table. Just looking at him immediately quickens your heartbeat, too loud you can distinctly hear it rings in your ear. What is happening? Why is he here, not more than an hour in the date? That look—Is he mad at you?
“Y/N, before I am going to be angry at you for setting me up with your best friend, I want to hit pause. Okay?” He calmly speaks, resting his bag on the floor. You look at him with teary eyes, still shocked for only his presence so you hesitantly nod. 
“Are you okay? After Seokjin, I mean. I heard about it.” Jungkook whispers, trying for a slow approach to the said matter. You don’t even know how he knows, yet you don’t really care.  “I’m sorry.”
You finally gather your courage to let out your voice, eyes still training on your lap. “Don’t be. It’s hard, but I’m okay. We just realize it wasn’t meant to be.”
“Do you want a hug?” Jungkook good-naturedly offers like it's the most usual thing to do inside a coffeeshop, and you can’t hold the chuckle which he follows. “We always hug it out whenever we are sad. I don’t know about you, but it always works for me. Your hugs are the best.”
You know he probably does not imply anything, so you nod, because you are desperately in need of your best friend’s hug right now. When everything is hard, it feels nice to have someone who completely understands and is willing to listen, instead of telling you what you need to do. That’s the kind of friendship you have with him, and you are thankful neither of you has given up on each other even with the constant fights.
After a good ten minutes just having each other close in a hug—his arms secured around your shoulder while you lean your head on his annoyingly sturdy chest—you let your best friend go. “God, we must be looking like two moron right now.” You whisper, noticing a few glances are thrown at your table and Jungkook snickers, agreeing with your comment. You snort. “More like because you look like a fucking idol and I look a hobo. Thanks for that, by the way.”
“Hey, I just arrived from Busan and I directly come here without even changing.” He pouts and you chuckle, feeling the butterflies vividly knocking on your stomach. He helps you asking for the bill, and when it arrives, he directly gives the waiter his card and you angrily shove him away.
“Jungkook, if you pay for the food you don’t even touch, I swear to god—”
“But it's my turn to pay!” He protests and you roll your eyes.
“It’s not, because you did not even eat a thing.”
He quickly munch on the leftover fries, giving the waiter his card and pushing the confused man away before you can snatch the card back. You hiss, seriously feeling guilty for letting him pay for the whole thing. “God, I am starving! Can I eat this?” He asks, munching on your half eaten pasta without waiting for you. You just stare at him, happily eating your food and you can’t hold down the smile.
“Can I have this coffee too?” He politely asks, pointing at your black coffee and you sigh. 
“Jungkook, once again I tell you, you do not like black coffee. I’ll just order you anything.” You are about to call the waiter again when he holds you back.
“I like everything you like, Y/N. I think this goddamn coffee has grown on me.”
But he is completely bullshitting you—and probably himself because as his lips touch the glass to take a sip, he instinctively grimaces at the strong, bitter taste. Gosh, an idiot and somehow you still call him your best friend.
“Jungkook, do you want me to order you a banana milkshake?” You kindly offer like the coffee thing did just not happen, and he answers with a 1000 watt smile that leaves you strangely speechless.
“My hero.”
After exactly another hour talking about the cousin’s wedding he attended a few days ago, both of you and him exit the coffeeshop. You can’t hide your blush when the barista is secretly teasing you with his goddamn eyebrow, not that Jungkook can notice. God, you wish he doesn’t notice.
“Can we walk to your apartment? Are you okay? it’s a little bit cold.” Jungkook worriedly asks, and you nod as an agreement. He smiles serenely at you, his hand runs to fix your messy hair—courtesy of the wind. His fingers delicately put a strand of lost hair to the back of your ear, and smile with all his bunny teeth on display after being satisfied with the result. God, you wish he would not notice how nervous you are right now.
During the short walk filled with comfortable silence, he reaches your hand, tightly intertwining it with his fingers. All the things he does are not special—you nearly do it every time in your so-called platonic friendship, but everything definitely has changed. But the fuzzy feeling quickly turns into nerves when you sense the inevitable talk is coming, as he points to one of the benches in front of your apartment building.
“I am angry at you.”
You look up to him, expecting anger on his face when you found none, instead a thin smile. “You set me up with your best friend. What were you thinking, Y/N?”
“You said you liked her. And I know you need a push to finally do something about it, that’s why I did it.” You guiltily try to defend yourself. Jungkook sighs, suddenly feeling remorse of what the conversation will turn into.
“But.. I don’t know whether we want to discuss this, but here goes—we kissed that night, Y/N. Does it even mean anything to you?” 
And now it is there. The hurt, the frustration, the anger shown on his beautiful doe eyes. You know it is coming — the inevitable confrontation about that night. But how can he even ask such question to you? Doesn’t he know it nearly keeps you awake every night?
“You were drunk, Jungkook. And horny... I was—we were just caught up in the moment.”
He scoffs in disbelief. “I don’t know about you, but I was not just caught up in the moment.” Jungkook curtly answers, taking a deep breath of courage. He hopes he doesn’t mess up everything and end up chasing you away yet again.
“Can’t you see it, Y/N? I like you. I like you so much for how it seems like a long time ago, but idiot me, somehow I just realize everything now.”
At his answer, your head feels like it is about to explode. But you are too scared, too realistic to even think about the possibility that he may truly mean every word. “You can’t lie to me like that, Jungkook! I am not the girl you can play with like your one night stands. I do not want to be just another number to you.”
“But you're not just another number to me!” He agitatedly hisses, letting his emotions open up on the table. “You think it doesn’t kill me? I think about it nearly everyday. I think about you and Seokjin. I think about you rejecting me. I think about you and our ten years friendship currently on the line. Do you think it has been just a walk in the park for me?”
He takes a deep breath. “I like you, Y/N. I like you so much it kills me for you to close me off that night we kissed. I thought everything was clear—my obvious feelings for you, but just now, you set me up with your best friend. How fucking great!”
The tears welling in your eyes are forcing to come out. “You don’t know how afraid I was, Jungkook. You can’t even imagine how it was for me! I like kissing you—I think I like it a little bit too much—but when you said you wanted to fuck in the car, I felt… I felt disgusted. You were drunk, and I felt like you were just using me for my body, like I’m just another dumb girls who you’ll fuck and never call back. I.. I don’t want to feel that way anymore.”
The statement you let out just brings a whole new guilt on his chest, and he moves to hold you close. “What were you thinking, Y/N. I would never do that to you…”
“How can I think of that? Are you shitting me right now? Jungkook, you slept with at least three girls a week, and you explicitly told me about fucking these girl nearly everyday before. So you expect me to comply and fuck you in that car, ruining our friendship because you only want to fuck me and wet your dick?!”
“Y/N, I swear it is not that. I like you too much, and I got so jealous of Seokjin—I am sorry that I make you feel that way. But I swear to god, at that time I just wanted to show you how much I like you, and I am sorry if it came out that way.”
You take a deep breath, but even doing it suffocates you. “I just need some time. That’s it. Can we… can we just pretend this never happens?” You sigh tiredly, and at your word, Jungkook feels hit with a ton of brick until he is completely numb. You want to disregard everything that happened?
“I am heading upstairs. You.. you can just head home now.” You whisper, and every word coming out hurts you back like it hurts him, but you need this. You need some time to think about everything. You don’t want to hurt yourself again—just seeing him now hurts so fucking bad already. Jungkook is not emotionally ready for you. He just caught up in the moment of drunkenness, and he doesn’t mean it. You should just stop thinking about it.
You are about to leave to cry your eyes to sleep, when you heard him call from behind.
“Here. I bought this for you. Don’t worry, Y/N.  I’ll leave.”
And you can hear the steps of his boots, walking far and far away until it disappears in the  silence. Now that he is not here, you find the wind is ten times colder, and the pain in your chest multiplies a thousand times. It’s only you now, alone with your thoughts. You brave yourself to turn back, seeing a box of chocolate resting on the bench, which then leaves you a crying mess.
It’s the exact chocolate he gave ten years ago to the girls, the one you ate when you saved him from the humiliation he faced. How could he even get this?
To : Y/N
Thank you for saving me again that day. And the day after. And the day after, until today. I owe you my life :)
With love, your vermillion faced favorite person in the world.
Jeon Jungkook.
*
Another week passes, and Jungkook wakes up with a groan inside of his room he shared with Taehyung. God was he trashed last night. His frat was having another party, and he may or may not steal a few bottles and decided to trash himself whilst playing Overwatch—he can’t even remember when or how. His back is killing him for falling asleep with bent back, his face plastered on the keyboard.
He tries to straighten up, but the dizziness from suddenly standing up washes him away that it takes some time to get used to. His lips are as dry as sahara, yet he found no bottle of water that may relieve the thirst—seriously, Jungkook? Stealing two bottles of vodka but forgot to bring up a bottle of water? God he is a moron sometimes.
He walks out of the room, descending to the downstairs with his head still banging painfully due to the bad hangover. He is about to head directly straight to the kitchen, but his steps are paused when he finds Seokjin currently having his breakfast on the table, with… you.
The first thought that comes to his mind is how different you look—you look pale and tired, the dark eyebags are getting prominent and it does look like you haven’t been sleeping well. The thoughts finally come closing when he realizes how awkward the air has become, you, Seokjin and himself on such close distance. Jungkook can’t bear the bitter thoughts of you, having your usual breakfast with Seokjin. God, he must be a bother—so he quickly enters the kitchen, intends to grab a drink and forces himself out of the picture.
“Jung—Jungkook, can we talk? Outside, I mean. I want to tell you something.”
He looks back, not expecting to find you standing up and walking to him to the kitchen. 
“We can. Do we need Seokjin to join as well?” He bitterly shoves the water inside his throat, not even minding how petty he must have sounded. 
“No. No need. I need to talk to you alone.” You beg, internally praying that Jungkook will not make it harder than it already is. All you want to do is say what you needed to say, then run away and bury yourself alive beside the nearest tree. 
Jungkook hums, and follows your hesitant step to the backyard of his frat house. But now that he is seeing you in such close distance, makes him realize that he terribly misses seeing you and talking to you. The week after the confession he let out, he decides to give you the space you deserve—no matter how desperate he is to just send you a message and ask how you’re doing. He can’t even deny that he went to your faculty a few times before, wanting to just see how you are doing even from afar. He knows how cringey and creepy that thought is, but he seriously can’t stand the idea of not having to see your face during those times. Checking up on you is like something he has been doing for ten years now, and he doesn’t intend to stop just because you need your own space.
Now you are standing with him, yet he thoughtfully motion so you can sit on the patio wall. The first touch he gave you since the last encounter, and it successfully turns you ten times nervous than you already are. Will you even be able to say what you need to say when he is right there, looking at you like that?
“Before you say anything, can I ask why are you having breakfast with Seokjin?” He starts, somehow unable to disregard the scene he just witnesses. He doesn’t know why, but he feels somehow sad and anxious that you are spending such an intimate breakfast with him. Sensing that Jungkook is indeed dead serious, and so are you, you decide not to beat around the bush and answer him with the truth.
“It’s nothing. I just wanted to see you and he was there, having his breakfast. He was just being polite.” 
“Jungkook, I want to say I am sorry.” You whisper directly and cut to the chase, intending to look him in the eyes but still failing to do so. All because you are nothing but a nervous pile of mess. “I.. I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t set you up with Lia just because of my insecurities. I thought I was doing you some good, but that was my fault to overstep it. And I shouldn’t have been angry at the thoughts that you were just playing with me—it’s only in my head and I accused you for it. It’s so unfair for you, I.. I want to apologize.”
Both of you fall into deep and tense silence, waiting for the other to speak up. But falling too uncomfortable with the silence, you decide to open your voice again. “Aren’t you going to say anything? Are you still angry at me?”
“Shouldn’t you apologize for one more thing?” Jungkook calmly asks, basking in your appearance once again like it’s never enough. God, are you even eating well? You hesitantly look up, confused with his words. What does he mean by that?
“The way you expect us to forget everything happened.” He winces soundly just by saying the word he refuses to acknowledge since the moment he heard it. Just thinking about the word you said a few nights back still brings fresh pain inside his chest. “That’s actually what hurts me the most. I don’t really care about the other.” You bit your lower lips. Is it just your hallucination or Jungkook seriously asking that?
Jungkook racks his brain, trying to articulate his thoughts yet failing to do so. Then he gives up, letting his heart do the talking instead. “I like you, Y/N. I don’t want to scare you—but I might even be in love with you. These past few years are so clear now. I like you, I always have feelings for you but it was so clouded with any friendly, somehow platonic feelings I thought I have and I don’t know—what happened with us just awakened me, making me realize  that I don’t want anyone else but me to be the one taking care of you.”
The newfound sincerity in his words astonishes you. Your breath hitches, with his words coming in and out of your mind, yet it still feels unsettled. Does he really mean it? 
“I guess I was just too busy with myself, with my own ways of hiding the pain I felt. But I realize, it was not any parties, or meaningless sex or any other things that makes me happy. I thought it was, but it’s not.” Jungkook takes your chin, pleading for you to look up to him. You are too overwhelmed by emotion, and you are thankful he asked you to sit because if you weren’t, your leg would give you away.
“It’s you. It’s always you.” He proclaims, as clear as the sky upon him. “It’s breakfast with you, talking with you everyday, seeing you be happy and be the one causing it. That’s what makes me happy.”
At such sentiment, the tears swimming in the corner of your eyes finally falls, streaming on the side of your cheek. He quickly pulls you close, his head entangles on your hair and your hands basked on his waist tightly, like you are holding it for dear life.  “Jungkook, I am scared. I don’t want to lose you... What if everything goes wrong and then I lost you forever?”
Jungkook kisses the top of your head. God, he is scared beyond words too. But he loves you too much, he believes in what you both have and is ready to take his chances. “We’ll make it through. I can’t promise you much, but I promise I’ll always look out for our best interests. You won’t lose me. I am your best friend before anything, Y/N.”
You nod, somehow assured by his words. You know it’s going to be hard to believe—even your past self would too, but you trust him with all your heart. Jungkook has been one constant thing in your life, and you trust him and are willing to put everything on the line because frankly, you love him, and he loves you. Maybe it’s time to finally be brave enough to face anything and take that risk. Only because it is him.
Another moment of holding each other close when Jungkook fucking opened his mouth and decided to ruin everything. “So.. Can I kiss you now?” He jokingly whispers and you snort, all sappy moments crumbling down to ashes. An amused chuckle somehow did escape your lips, and he pouts. “Hey, let me kiss you, you pretty girl. Seriously, I kissed you once, and god, that’s all I can think of this past week.”
You roll your eyes, heart beating rapidly fast in your chest. You are going to shrug his face away from you, but the moment you can clearly look up to him, you feel warm and giddy. His face is saying everything, shaded vermillion red while shyly looking down on you. A flashback comes inside your head, reminding you about the eleven year old kid with the same shade of vermillion on his face. He is still the same Jungkook you know—the Jungkook you love and wouldn’t trade for anything in the whole world.
His lips advance closer to yours yet you are the one to close the distance between. To have your lips finally touch against his chapped one, you can feel the same firework lights up, only ten times better now that you finally is truthful to your own feeling. God does it feel amazing to feel it to have him against your lips. Both of you are too content with even such innocent kisses, feeling the smile forming in each of your lips, inevitably bringing up a laughter.
“Fucking finally!”
At the loud roar, you quickly push Jungkook until he falls a few steps back, completely shocked beyond words to hear the shouts behind you—which belongs to Taehyung, somehow with Lia shutting him instantly on the mouth. There are few other frat brothers like Jimin and Namjoon as well, smiling meaningfully in front of the door. You shyly duck your head, god, how long have they been standing there? This is embarrassing!
“Are you going to hit them or should I?” You whisper, walking outside from the back door with Jungkook on your side, escaping the loud shouts and woo from the people standing there. Jungkook chuckles with mirth at your reddened abashed face. Is it a good time for him to say how adorable you are right now, with a burst of red coloring your cheek?
“No worries, I will.” He kisses your supple cheek. “But objectively speaking, I do think Lia has rights for that. She is the one helping me to get you since god-knows-when.” Jungkook smiles endearingly, holding you close around the shoulder when it’s finally just the two of you, brushing a kiss on the top of your head. You chuckle knowingly, and Jungkook stops to see you straight on the eye.
“Aren’t you going to ask me when, why or how? I mean about the chasing you thing with Lia.” He asks seriously, yet apparently can’t get his hands far from you as he reaches for your cheek, softly brushing it delicately with his fingers. You hum, somehow content with his touches. God, you sure like him so much it hurts.
“Baby—you’re cute. But actually it’s Lia who convinces me about you.” You chuckle, and Jungkook scrunch his eyebrows, yet still falling shy at the nickname that sounds entirely different now that you are the one saying it to him. “She told me everything. And that’s actually when I realize that I can trust you. With all my heart.”
Jungkook smiles, heart turning warm from your statement and still, the endearing nickname. “On the light note, you called me your baby. Ugh, can I kiss you again, pumpkin?” He cheekily asks, and your hearts light up at the familiar yet so strange nickname that now it feels different to have him as your lover.
You smirks, holding his palm against your cheek, taking in his disheveled, morning appearance once again. He looks extensively cute with his button nose and reddened cheeks, his disheveled morning hair still super inviting to have your fingers running through it. And it is unfair that somehow he looks his best now, better than anything you have seen him before. High chance it is because for you, the best thing for Jungkook to wear is his smile—especially when it’s because of you.
“Not if you have to ask again every time you don’t.”
He smirks and pulls you by the nape, muttering an answer against your smiling lips. He seriously wouldn’t mind doing this every second of the day.
“Deal.”
========
Finally! nearing 25k, wow this is a lot to write. But it was so much fun and i hope you like it! let me know and lets talk :) kindly check my masterlist !
UPDATE #1 : Drabble posted on masterlist! Do check lovelies! <3
UPDATE #2 : Find the Taehyung spinoff, “The Platinum Rules” click here!
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lovestrucked-again · 4 years
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Neighbours | J.Jaehyun
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NCT m.list
Summary: The fire alarm went off at 3am and now the cute guy from next door is standing next to me in his boxers. 
Pairing: Fuckboy Jaehyun X Reader Word Count: 1.9k Warning: Fluff
Request: hi! it's first time requesting omg but can u please do an imagine where it's y/n's first time to make out with anybody and fuckboy!jaehyun got so soft? thank u!!
A/N: Thanks for your request and I’m so sorry I took so long on this but I hope this makes up for it! I had fun writing this and intertwining the scenarios with this. 
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“What is it this time?!” You scream into your pillow, rolling over to turn your side lamp on. This was the third night in a row with the fire alarms going off from the unit across yours. You rub your eyes, trying to wake yourself up from your drowsy state before checking the time on your phone, 3:02am.
You let out a heavy sigh, wrapping a robe over your silk night dress and slip on your bunny slippers. You take your phone off charge seeing it at 100% and trudge over to the door, intending to go have a proper look at the unit with the blaring alarm this time.
When you swing open your front door, the lights in the hall flicker on and your eyes adjust to the faint lighting. The building was built like a square, the inside being hollow for sunlight to shine through and units surrounding the sides. You take a few steps closer to the railing, squinting into the darkness, attempting to locate the unit.
The sound outside of your home is louder, the noise violently invading your eardrums. You can see a few lights turning on as people appear on the floors above and below, pointing in the same direction you’re squinting. What a pain.
“Y/N?”
You don’t hear the sound of your next-door neighbour’s door opening so when the sudden voice calls out your name your snapped out of your trance and jump in surprise, whipping your head around to look.
“O-oh my god!” You yelp, spinning back around just as fast to face the darkness. Jaehyun leaps into action at your sudden response, running over to check on you while letting his door slam shut.
“What is it? Are you okay? Y/N?” Jaehyun’s voice is right next to you as your face is buried into your palms, heat rising on your cheeks. You take a few deep breaths, trying to steady yourself, wanting your voice to be clear and strong before you answer.
“Is that you’re pjs?” you ask, your voice squeaking. It wasn’t the exact words you had planned to say but your point was made. Jaehyun takes a moment to glance at himself before chuckling lightly, taking a step back.
“Sorry, I was just going to take a peek through the door.” Jaehyun explains, raising his hands up in defence “Didn’t intend on actually coming outside like this.”
You’d talked with your neighbour before, meeting him on the day you moved in. He offered to help you move in and show you around the neighbourhood but you had politely declined, your parents always warning you to avoid strangers.
“No your u-uh, you’re okay.” You state, letting your hands fall awkwardly to your sides. It’d been a while since you’d seen him. His hair was tousled around, covering a little of his eyes that reflected the moonlight in the dark. Your eyes skimmed around quickly, darting between his bare toned chest and to the door behind him, then back to him.
“The alarm woke you up?” He asks, not feeling embarrassed at all standing in the open in just a pair of boxers.
“Yeah, wanted to see which unit it is.” You explain, your eyes glancing around in circles, avoiding him. Why can’t he see how inconvenient his appearance is making this conversation. You can only pray the dim lighting prevents him from seeing how tense you are.
“Maybe give them a piece of your mind,” Jaehyun tells you, throwing a few fake punches in the air.
“Sure..” You mumble out, definitely not what I’d do but okay.
The alarm suddenly stops, the peaceful silence of the night now becoming more distinct than ever. The few grumbling neighbours who had come out during the event also disappearing back into their homes.
“Well I better head inside, it’s freezing out here,” Jaehyun says.
“Yeah good idea.” You suggest, hoping to go back into the safety and warmth of your own bed. You lean against the railing, waiting for him to leave first as you stare out at the moon for a bit longer.
“Fuck.” Jaehyun murmurs
“What is it?” You ask, turning around to look at the back of his figure as he plays with the knob on his front door.
“I think I locked myself out,” He sighs, letting his head fall against the door with a soft bang.
Time felt like it stilled as you let your expression fall. Thoughts were running through your head, Should I offer my place? I can’t leave him out here can I? Ah goddamn it.
“I guess you can stay at mine for the night? I’ve got a couch and some spare sheets if you want.” You offer, letting out a shaky breath. For a moment, there was no words exchanged, just the heavy beating of your heart and you second guess your offer.
He lets out a sigh of relief, turning around to face you, “Really? Thanks that’d be great babe.”
“It’s fine, can’t have you freezing out here.” You tell him, staring straight at the ground as you speed walk back to your door, avoiding his gaze. You couldn't tell anymore, was your face so flushed from the cold or was it his words. Babe.
You fumble at the front door, finally unlocking it as he stands behind you patiently, waiting for you to lead him inside your home.
“I’ll get you some sheets.” You tell him, running into your room to find them. The spare minute you have to yourself lets you hear just how fast your hearts racing. Fuck is this a good idea? Your pulled back out of your trance when you his voice coming from the living room.
“Can I take a seat?” He calls out.
“Yeah, make yourself comfy.” You yell back, grabbing an old shirt and some pants from deep underneath your drawers – which you personally never wanted to see ever again. You walk back out and Jaehyun’s sitting on the couch, staring at the photo frames along the bookshelf.
“Cute photos.”
“Thanks,” You smile at the compliment, they were pictures of you and your siblings from a family trip back before you moved out.
“Is this for me?” Jaehyun asks, pointing at the pile of fabrics still in your hands.
“Yeah, hopefully it fits.” Before he’s able to say anything you walk back into your room to find the bedsheets. Found it. The only spare bedsheet you had was a pink fairy bedsheet used on the occasions your friends came for sleepovers. Whatever, it’ll do. You grab a spare pillow from your bed and switch the pillow covers, throwing the old one on the floor.
“A guy’s shirt?” Jaehyun asks, an eyebrow raised with a hidden smirk.
“It was my ex’s,” you emphasise, taking a seat on the couch beside his now fully clothed figure.
“You’ve dated before?” he asks, the shock evident in his voice.
“Of course I have, why do you sound so surprised?”
“Sorry that’s not what I meant, you just seem so reserved and,” Jaehyun takes a moment to think, looking to the side, “quiet? Just a little surprised is all.”
“Well I’m not that reserved.” You fight back, feeling like you’d just been titled as boring, “What about you? How’s your girlfriend?”
“I’m single actually.” He stares at you with an amused expression, leaning against the couch as he waits for you to explain.
“Oh, I thought you had a girlfriend...” you mumble out.
“What makes you think that?” He asks, surprised that you actually kept an eye on him.
“Well, I see like different girls coming over all the time so I just assumed...” you explain, suddenly feeling a little ashamed of how rushed you were to judge his lifestyle.
“What can I say? I suppose I’m just that charming; I can’t help that so many ladies like me.” He says, leaning back against the armchair of the couch, shoulders raised.
“What a liar.” You mutter to yourself, hiding your giggle with a cough.
“What’d you say babe?” He asks, scooting closer to you.
“Nothing, nothing at all.” you wave off, leaning on the armchair on your side.
“Did you call me a liar?”
“What? No, of course not, how could I do such a thing?” You gasp, sarcasm dripping out.
It’s hard to notice in the darkness but his figure suddenly launches at you and you scream as his hands start running along your body, tickling at all your sides.
“Stop Jaehyun! I’m going to cry,” You wheeze out, laughing as the tears start forming in your eyes.
“You bought it upon yourself!” He yells over your laughter.
“Stop!” you cry out, trying to fight back as he stays hovering over you while your squirming against the couch.
“Make me.”
And for some unknown reason, all your buried confidence that you weren’t even aware you had, brings you to do the craziest thing, you kiss him.
Jaehyun stops immediately, his hands frozen against your skin. He doesn’t move and you pull away quickly, embarrassed.
“Sor-” Before your able to finish your sentence, Jaehyun wraps his arm around your neck, bringing you closer to him as his lips press against yours. His kisses are soft, the opposite of what you wanted right now. Your hands knot into fists around the fabric of his shirt, pulling him harder against you as he lets out a low soft groan.
It’s not until you feel his tongue, pushing against your lips, begging for entrance which brings you back to reality. Your hands release his shirt and you place them against his chest, creating some distance between your bodies.
“What’s wrong?” He asks.
“I u-uh, I’ve never actually made out with someone before.” You mumble out, the darkness saving the flushing red on your face from being seen. Jaehyun doesn't laugh, he takes what you say seriously. On the inside though, it drives him crazy, realising how innocent and pure you are.
“It’s okay.” He smiles, resting his hand below your ear, his thumb caressing your cheek as he smashes his lips against yours again, your breaths mingling. You run a finger down his spine, bringing his body closer to you as the gap disappears.
His insistent mouth parting your shaking lips, send wild tremors along your nerves, bringing out the sensations you’d never known were possible. The minutes pass feeling like seconds as you realise you’ll never have enough of this, of him. He’s everywhere, hands up your back then around your waist, suddenly kissing you harder, deeper with a desperate urge.
“You’re so perfect,” he whispers, prolonging each word as if to savour them. Your heart flutters at his voice as your hands reach to cup the sides of his face. He brings his hands to yours still wrapped around his cheeks. Staring directly at you. “What have you done to me?” He murmurs, kissing the palm of your hand.
“Can’t help it, I’m charming like that.” You giggle, grinning up at him. Jaehyun lets out a laugh, intertwining his fingers with yours.
“You’re mine now.”
“All those girls will be absolutely devastated to find out you’re taken,” you tease and he lets out a scoff, pulling you up into his chest so your weight is now on him.
“That’s not my problem.”
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eivor-basim · 3 years
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ezio (in all seriousness now. mind your step 🥰🥰🔪🔪)
hey you can put your pixel knives away, i love ezio. and i'm not gonna steal your video game boyfriend i promise <3
first impression
i first played ac2 when i was 13 or so. at the Very First Glance he annoyed me a bit because he reminded me of boys my age who thought they were all that. a pre-fuckboy, if you will. but then he was so soft with his family. i really felt the pain of losing them with him. and he was adorably awkward flirting with cristina and being baffled by leonardo. so i quickly realized that ezio actually deserves so much love. and also a hug... pls allow this man some damn comfort ubi. plus of course, the fancy renaissance assassin robes and being so overpowered in fights just made it so FUN to play as ezio. i appreciated his badassery
impression now
now, playing an ezio game feels like coming home.
no matter what life throws at him, ezio finds a way to move forward and make something of it. always with a joke and a spring in his step. i love that resilience. and i've come to love the charm that annoyed me at first. because it's not putting on a show, that's just How He Is. he's warm and charismatic and funny. and manages to maintain that in spite of everything.
also, his humor isn't a façade veiling a lack of character or wisdom as can sometimes be the case with the fun-loving roguish archetype. over the course of the games, he really grows to be a man of principle and gains truly insightful perspective. these quotes he just drops:
"When I was a young man, I had liberty, but I did not see it. I had time, but I did not know it. And I had love, but I did not feel it. Many decades would pass before I understood the meaning of all three. And now, the twilight of my life, this understanding has passed into contentment. Love, liberty, and time: once so disposable, are the fuels that drive me forward."
"I have lived my life as best I could, not knowing its purpose, but drawn forward like a moth to a distant moon. And here, at last, I discover a strange truth. That I am only a conduit for a message that eludes my understanding. Who are we, who have been so blessed to share our stories like this? To speak across centuries?"
"To say that nothing is true is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile and that we must be the shepherds of our civilization. To say that everything is permitted is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious of tragic."
"My story is one of many thousands, and the world will not suffer if it ends too soon."
i cried looking those up and reading them again btw!!
this man goes through so much pain. he builds the brotherhood up from nothing, only to lose it. and then builds it again. he does ALL THAT only to realize his whole life has served to convey a message he will never understand to a person he will never meet. yet even so he still finds contentment. he finds love and happiness. and he does it all with the signature ezio auditore da firenze flair. and looks hot doing it
(i really do need to note, this pixel man is FINE. i have to say his brotherhood look is my favorite but he is consistently hot)
i love him i love him i love him
favorite moment
there are so many??? and tbh i just started my ezio trilogy replay so the details are a little fuzzy, especially on brotherhood and revelations
one moment that always rips my heart out is when he assassinates his first target and yells "the auditore are not dead! i'm still here! me! ezio! ezio auditore!" and you can just hear his voice breaking a little
i love the little conversations between him and leonardo. leo really becomes one of the few constants in ezio's life, which forms such a distinct and powerful bond between them. and leo is just a walking ray of sunshine
ooh i really love the entire venice carnival sequence. also both ezio and claudia's assassin induction ceremonies. when ezio yeets cesare off the roof. and all of the moments with the quotes above
like i said, impossible to choose. and i still feel like this list is incomplete since i'm about to replay and will likely rediscover a bunch of old faves
idea for a story
hmm i don't know. i really feel like ezio's story is well executed and comes full circle in canon tbh. in the past i've enjoyed fics that actually do give ezio a chance to talk to desmond and explore the bleeding effect creating overlap between their lives. if i wrote a story, i might focus on ezio and claudia, because i feel like her character is very underutilized in-game.
unpopular opinion
i suppose a lot of my interpretation of ezio would be unpopular among those who see him as a womanizer and put him on a pedestal for that. other than that, hard to say tbh. i know many people don't like ezio with sofia, and i think they're very cute together. i guess also, i don't think ezio ever fully recognized claudia's ability. i think his perception of her was clouded by the gender roles of the time. in my view, he improved over time but never managed to shake off that bias
favorite relationship
romantically, this is difficult because ezio has great chemistry with lots of people and almost every ship makes me think oh yeah that'd be cute. i don't really have an otp with ezio, you know? i do really like him with leonardo and sofia tho
platonically, claudia. the murder siblings dynamic is everything. also, yusuf. their interactions were always so charming and hilarious, and yusuf's death clearly hit him so hard-- why ubisoft
favorite headcanon
ezio paints portraits of his targets, but i also like the thought of him painting portraits of his loved ones. ones that just feel more tender and personal when you're looking at them. and going out to the countryside to paint landscapes with leonardo-- artist couple!!
this is a communal headcanon at this point lol, but in-game ezio tries coffee and suggests adding sugar and milk. so i like to think he's the inventor of The Most Extra coffee drinks, like a triple caramel cappuccino with extra whipped cream and sprinkles type shit
finally, i think at heart he's very sentimental. he probably holds on to all sorts of knick knacks that remind him of the people in his life and the places he's been. he catches a whiff of, idk, a certain type of flower and is instantly transported to picking those flowers for a crush as a boy. gets all misty-eyed thinking about it. ezio is soft!!
send me a character!
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Fics Written In 2020 Masterlist
Flatmates (ao3) - intoapuddle
Summary: oh my god they were flatmates / the fuckboy!phil au we all deserve
i don't know why (i can't keep my eyes off of you) (ao3) - panlesters
Summary: Starting a new university is hard enough without Phil having to convince his best friend PJ he doesn't have a crush on their other flatmate, Dan. He definitely does not have a crush on Dan.
I like cupcakes, especially the gay variety (ao3) - Fictropes
Summary: Firstly, Dan was 29. How was that a mature student?
Secondly, his actual book was on the university fucking syllabus.
(or the one in which Dan tries university again in a desperate attempt to prolong his procrastination, and his lecturer Phil is apparently something of a fan)
I'll Protect You (ao3) - rainbowchristy
Summary: Phil is unique in more ways than one. The main thing that makes him different is his ability to see people's number one wish and biggest fear in blue and red respectively above their heads.
Most days, Phil acts like any other seventeen year old. One day when Dan's parents physically abused him (which was unfortunately not a rare occurrence), his wish changed. Can Phil help Dan change his wish in time or will his death wish come true?
It's cool, we're just friends (ao3) - sierraadeux
Summary: A romantic getaway for two, a beautiful Greek island, the wedding of everyone's dreams - what more could any couple want? Well, for Phil, maybe just for his date to not be his best friend.
or, the one where dan is an idiot, phil is an idiot, and the street cats of Santorini are incredibly cute.
let chance take me to your shore (ao3) - basl
Summary: Dan feels like he’s underwater. Everything seems filtered, the voice, the colors, even the pain he was feeling a moment ago.
He closes his eyes again.
“Stay with me,” the voice pleads.
But Dan’s tired, and sleep is more inviting.
or dan and phil are witches that somehow find each other.
linger on (ao3) - dizzy, waveydnp
Summary: A recent loss has ground Phil's life to a halt. At 33, he's static in his grief and living in the house he grew up in - until his mother kicks him out.
In a fit of indignation and with nothing to lose, he answers the first listing he finds for a room to rent in London... a listing posted by a guy named Dan.
Live Incidentally (ao3) - yikesola
Summary: At thirty-two, Phil’s fine with this lot in life— manager for Printzoid, a flat he rents on his own in a relatively nice part of London, friends he sees at least twice a month for board game nights, an ex-fiancé he’s trying damn hard to get over, and a brother who means well even if Martyn doesn’t understand why Phil insists there’s a distinction between their father’s artwork being creative and Martyn’s music being creative and Phil’s novelty t-shirts being... not-creative. A fic about adulthood and opening up.
Maybe (ao3) - dayevsphil, intoapuddle
Summary: They’re only friends but when Dan wants more, Phil gives it to him.
meant for me (ao3) - graydar
Summary: Dan doesn’t believe in soulmates. Phil believes in everything. Dan is scared of everything. Phil is scared of Dan.
Nature's Call (ao3) - indistinct_echo
Summary: When Dan goes camping, all sorts of limits get tested.
slutville, population two (ao3) - dayevsphil
Summary: Dan and Phil both have reputations for sleeping around. Their friends don't think they could hold down a relationship if they wanted to. Sounds like a challenge to them.
In Dan's defense, tequila makes anything seem like a good idea.
The Canary (ao3) - galaxy_ash
Summary: Dan is a famous singer called The Capricious Canary, but known as The Canary by his fans and the public. Phil is a paparazzo who hates his job and is assigned to stalk Dan to get insider pictures.
Time's Tide (ao3) - intoapuddle
Summary: All men have secrets, and Phil won't let his own be known. But even in 1984's Manchester there is another person that understands.
to all the people i've loved before (and the one who actually made me fall in love) (ao3) - natigail
Summary: Phil doesn’t crush on people often, but when he does the emotions seem to overwhelm him. The only way he knows how to deal is to write love letters. They were never meant to be read.
The most recent letter threatens to ruin his relationship with his big brother Martyn, so in a fit of panic, Phil finds himself turning to the boy who was the recipient of the very first love letter for help. Even if he is Dan Howell, the school heartthrob.
too far to walk alone (ao3) - chickenfree
Summary: “The hazelnut stracciatella,” he says, as always. They might or might not have a bet in the shop about whether he’ll ever vary.
Under My Skin (ao3) - americanphancakes
Summary: Dan gets a tattoo. He really, really enjoys the experience. A lot.
when it rains, it's lemon cakes (ao3) - corvinephan
Summary: "The thought of the boy quickly becomes one of his go-to fantasies, the thing that helps him get through the day, tethering him to reality and making it a bearable experience. And really, Phil thinks that it's a bit much to feel this way about what is, essentially, a complete stranger, but he's always been bad with fantasies, getting lost in them easily, head always filled with impossible scenarios and tender moments he'll never get to experience."
Sneaking around. Crushed pastries at the bottom of the tray. Kisses at dawn and the impending threat of an arranged marriage.
Phil meets a tall stranger on a late-night rendezvous through the castle. What happens when that stranger's smile and laugh fill an entire room, burrowing besides Phil's heart and refusing to leave?
World's Greatest First Love: The Case of Daniel Howell (ao3) - Yiffandquiff (paradisobound)
Summary: Dan Howell wanted a clean break from his father’s publishing company. It was why he applied for a different company in London: to stop the ridicule of his coworkers for riding on his ‘daddy’s coat tails’. But he wasn’t expecting to suddenly be going from a literature editor, to a graphic novel editor. And he certainly wasn't expecting to come face first with his first love who broke his heart from when he was a teenager: who just happens to be his new editor-in-chief.
Your Crowning Glory��(ao3) - pasteldanhowells, rainbowchristy
Summary: Dan is 18 years old when the news is suddenly sprung upon him that he is next line to be the next king of Genovia, but things don’t go as smoothly as he thought, between having a suddenly busy schedule, a new lifestyle, an arranged marriage that Dan has no control over, and worst of all, Philip Lester trying to steal his crown.
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tansypoisoning · 4 years
Text
(Un)Conditional - Part 1
Truce
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You didn’t remember how or why you found yourself in Ransom’s bed in the first place, but now, poor, pregnant and desperate, you had your reasons for putting up with him, and they weren’t noble. His reasons for staying with you weren’t noble either.
   Me  🤝  The Reader Insert     making stupid decisions
In which the reader is pregnant with Ransom’s baby and he sees that as an opportunity for personal enrichment. Big changes to the original plot, but Idk where this is going, so stay tuned for my brain farts, and I accept suggestions (Ransom redemption arc? Or should I make him even shittier? I haven’t decided yet!). I still want to have Benoit Blanc in the story somehow, because he’s my jam, my jelly, my peanut butter and my peanuts. This chapter is safe for anyone who hasn’t watched the movie but THERE WILL BE SPOILERS in the future.
 Chapter 2 - I Came Out to Have a Good Time and I’m Honestly Feeling So Attacked Right Now
Fandoms: Knives Out
Genre: *surprised Pikachu face*
Ships: Ransom Drysdale x Reader
Word Count: 4k
Warnings: Smut, some light choking, some daddy kink, mentions of past sexual assault, talk of abortion, unhealthy relationships, Ransom is an asshole, a fuckboy and also verbally abusive tbh.
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You were such an idiot.
Many were the times you had come home after terrible dates, or left parties in your friends’ arms after a guy tried to finger-bang you when you were passed out on the couch, and yet you still let your guard down around men you knew to be assholes. You could always tell; you weren’t sure whether it was thanks to familiarity ,or if you had a knack for reading people, but you still let terrible men in when you knew them to be terrible. Bad habits, hard to break, yadda yadda yadda. All that made for piss poor comfort when you looked at the five little plastics sticks in front of you.
Feet tapping against the ground and your phone held in between your cheek and shoulder, you typed on your laptop. Planned Parenthood. You should’ve done this sooner, way sooner, when you could get an IUD, or the pill, or the shot, or whatever the fuck else, instead of trusting your reliably unreliable partners and your nonexistent backbone. Birth control was expensive, but it was nowhere near as expensive as a baby, and you were going to get the same amount of help with either, which was to say, none.
No… That wasn’t quite true. Your brother and your friends would pitch in if you asked, you knew, but, as previously established, you were an idiot.
You knew there were people who loved you and would support you no matter what, but you didn’t want to burden them with your problems. This mess was on you, on you and…
Mailbox. Of course he didn’t pick up. He got what he wanted from you, and was now moving on to another woman who was equally as gullible and equally as “passable” as you. You couldn't believe his negging had worked on you, you were so fucked.
Deep breathes. It wasn’t over yet, you could fix this. The… the thing was still only two months, you could get rid of it, with a pill, even. But should you?
You tossed your phone to the side and opened another tab. Fetus two months. You clicked the first result that mentioned the development of the thing growing inside you and read the section entitled “Baby”. Internal organs already in place… wiggling and waving like mad? Distinct facial features?!
Your hands found their way to your mouth as a sob found its way past your lips. No way. This was some forced-birther propaganda, it had to be.
You left that shitty website and opened usually trustworthy Wikipedia, but it was of no help. It didn’t exactly contradict the information the other website had given you – the difference between “waving” and “twitches” was negligible to your addled brain.
You closed your laptop with a little more force than it was wise. You stood and began pacing, one hand over your face and another resting on your abdomen. It was just your luck to have your eggs dodge the sperm of every jerk you could get to pay child support, only for you to end up carrying the Antichrist – and the Devil could afford the best lawyers.
Damned be the day you let Hugh RaNsOm Drysdale in your bed without a condom, and damned be you for being so fucking stupid. You deserved whatever suffering that came from this, and you could accept them with some grace if it didn’t feel like you were dragging an innocent along with you.
You stopped and looked down at the row of pregnancy tests arranged over the bathroom counter, all of them positive. You couldn't do this. You regretted that one night of meaningless sex more than you regretted anything in your life, and maybe you’d regret your current decision even more but you couldn't do the thing you knew you should do.
You swiped all the tests into your arms and dumped them in your bag. You grabbed your keys and walked out of your pitiful apartment and into your pitiful car. You had barely enough money to take care of yourself, let alone a child. Abortion could be the best thing you could do as a mother, but…
You pushed the keys into the ignition and shook your head. You were emotional, that was all. If you just gave yourself a little more time you’d stop thinking of it as more than the parasite it actually was, but for now… For now you needed to get things straight with the sperm donor, no matter how much it could hurt, and you were under no illusions – it would hurt like a motherfucker.
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You had been in Ransom’s unfairly cool house a grand total of three times. He didn’t like having you over, much preferring fucking at your house even if he turned up his nose at the building and everything inside it. Maybe he didn’t like having to disinfect his furniture every time it got into contact with your poor people germs.
Yeah, like he cleaned anything.
You parked in front of the contemporary building and made your way to the front door, ringing the bell four times because Ransom never answered when people rang only once or twice, and then another because you were filled with dread, and manic energy, and the powerful desire to punch him in his perfect face until it wasn’t quite so perfect anymore.
You waited several minutes but there was no answer. It wasn’t surprising; if he was inside you’d have seen him through one of the outrageously large windows that covered almost every wall of the house.
You sat down on the steps to the entrance and pulled out your phone. You were done with work for the day, and you weren’t sure when he would want to pick up your calls again. You could wait.
And wait you did.
It was two in the morning when Ransom’s BMW pulled up in front of the building, activating the motion sensor lights. He walked out of the car with the confidence of a man who knew he owned everything he surveyed.
Fucking dipshit.
“Wow,” he laughed, opening his arms then dropping them to his side again, lest he appear too inviting. “You want it bad.”
You started rummaging through your bag for the pregnancy test as not to waste your time with pointless conversation. That should tell him everything you wanted to say.
“Sorry, I’m not in the mood today,” he said pulling his keys from his stupid suede coat only he could make look hot “long day, you know how it is. You can suck my cock and stay over, if you want.”
He had unlocked the door and was nudging you with his foot when you found what you were looking for and got up with a jump.
You waved the stick in the air victoriously. Even though you were the one who was the worst off in this scenario, you could at least use the source of your misery to wipe the smirk off his dumb, gorgeous face.
Done and did. Once Ransom caught on, the corner of his mouth dropped, free falling. Your life had been thrown in disarray, and the medical bills, if you chose to keep the thing, would ensure you would end up homeless in a couple of months, but at least you could rejoice in the fact you had ruined his eternal party in a spectacular fashion.
“What do you want?” He snarled. “Can’t pay the abortion? How much is it?”
You recoiled as if he had just swung a knife in your direction. This was new. You’d seen him angry before, sure, but this… the curl of his lips, the look in his eyes– it had you second guessing your decision to come see him.
You struggled to find your voice for a few seconds “I don’t… I haven’t decided what I want to do yet.”
Regret pierced you through like a lance. You knew he didn’t care about you – he didn’t “do monogamy”, he never asked you about your day, it was a struggle to get him to even buy you a coffee, and he only bothered to make you come if he could use it to feed his pride somehow – but all his disinterest in your well-being was nothing compared to the loathing radiating from him, like you were a fat dying cockroach stuck to the bottom of his nice leather shoes.
There was no reason Ransom should be able to make you feel like that. He was an absolute shitheel, a trust-fund baby who had never had a job in his life, never worked to build anything, and didn’t even have the decency to be thankful to his family for all they had done for him, and you didn’t even like him (conceding that he was attractive and you were a masochist was not the same as liking), so his opinion shouldn’t matter to you, someone with a stable source of income and an ounce of moral fiber. That didn’t stop you from writhing under his gaze.
“Get in,” he said, voice devoid of anything that could be considered charming.
You entered, waiting at the side, in fear of walking past the foyer without invitation, while he locked the door behind him.
He walked by you and went right to the kitchen. You followed him with your eyes, watched him grab a glass, fill it with water and down it. He didn’t offer you anything – you figured he didn’t think you deserved it.
“You’re suggesting it’s mine.”
His words startled you from your stupor, and you shook in your spot by the entrance before answering. “I know it’s yours. I haven’t slept with anyone else in almost a year.”
“And you are saying that.”
You bristled at his insinuation. “We can get a paternity test, if you want.”
Ransom lifted his head and inhaled sharply. He paced the length of his high end, open concept, immaculate-because-it-was-never-used kitchen, then opened a drawer, pausing to look up at you, closed it, then moved to the next and repeating the process several more times, while you shifted from one foot to the other.
“Here’s the thing, honey,” he said, and the last word was said with anything but sweetness “I’ll pay for the abortion, and I’ll pay for you to have the abortion. If you’re not gonna do it, then I don’t want to see your dog face again.”
You knew Ransom didn’t like kids – he despised them, even – but you didn’t think he’d react quite this badly. You knew he would want nothing to do with it, but you still thought telling him was the right thing to do. He deserved to know at least, surely.
The feeling you got when he first turned on you that night was a sign; you shouldn’t have come.
“I’m leaving,” you whispered.
Ransom’s cheeks were red and wide, and it seemed as if he was about to argue when he slammed his hand against the counter then stomped towards you.
You shrunk in on yourself, but you needn’t have. He just unlocked the door and pulled it open, holding it for you to walk through. His breathing was heavy and his shoulders were tense, like he was holding himself back.
Once you had rallied your strength and crossed the threshold, you heard your name being called behind you. You turned to see Ransom, still glaring at you with the same awful expression. You couldn't imagine what he had to tell you that hadn’t already been said.
“If you try contacting me again, you’re fucked.”
And then he slammed the door in your face.
You made your way to your car, head hanging low. That had been a disaster, but at least he made it easier for you to choose one of the options.
Fucking dipshit.
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You had been right; time had given you helped you think things over.
Three days later and you could refer to the fetus as a fetus without going down a depressive spiral, and the thought of abortion was more palatable to you. In a couple more days you were certain you’d be able to walk into Planned Parenthood with your head held high, get your pill, and walk out, facing the world and the potential crowds of angry protesters with confidence, then move on with your life, promising never to get involved with another shitty guy again. The scare would be enough to make you change your ways, you were sure.
You didn’t want a kid, at least not yet. You were young, living paycheck to paycheck, and any child you had right now would grow up without a father. You were still mulling it over but abortion seemed like the most responsible choice, and if you couldn't make the responsible choice now, you’d make for a terrible mother in the future.
A knock on the door made you look up at the clock. Fifteen past eleven. Maybe the old lady who lived across the hall from you needed help killing a bug or something. You stood, pulled the latch off and unlocked the door, not thinking much of it, and almost walked face first into a hard body you were far too familiar with.
Ransom was there, waiting for you, his face inscrutable. His chest was heaving, and some serious heat emanated from it. You had the urge to hug his waist and burrow into his warmth, but you resisted it bravely. You’d promised yourself you would stop chasing men like him, and you intended on keeping that promise.
“Ransom,” you greeted, trying to keep your voice even.
A flash of pain roamed his face, and then he was putting his hands on you, holding the side of your face in his large palms. You opened your mouth to scream, but the sound was muffled between your lips and his.
A kiss. Ransom was kissing you – and a second ago you were so sure he was paying you a visit just to beat you up.
He maneuvered you into your apartment, still cradling your cheeks with surprising gentleness. You knew you should’ve stopped him, but your feet followed his steps with such ease, and he was so fucking warm and you living room so cold.
As one of his hands slid from your face to the back of your neck, something inside you screamed. It told you to stop now or it would be too late, and you’d fall into the same old hole and not be able to crawl out of it. You surprised yourself by listening to it and pulling away, pushing on his chest to keep a good distance between you. You told yourself you were doing well, even though you were holding onto his white shirt like a lifeline and arching your body into his.
“Ransom, wha-” your words were cut off by another kiss, more heated than the previous.
He pushed you down onto your couch -  the creaky old thing he always complained about – and climbed on top of you you, forcing you both into a laying position.
When Ransom pulled away (only to immediately latch his lips to your earlobe) you made to question him before the weakest part of yourself could convince you to just let it happen. It was she who had gotten you into this mess in the first place. “What are you doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing?” He mumbled against your skin.
“I know what you’re doing,” you huffed, twisting your body beneath him in a half-assed attempt to buck him off “You told me to never contact you again. Why are you here?”
He chuckled, a deep rumbling sound that had your very core thrumming. He removed his hands from you and pushed himself up by the forearms to look down at you. When you saw his smirk, you knew you were going to end up having sex with him no matter what he said next.
“I guess I couldn't keep away.”
And with that he went right back to his station, sucking and nibbling on the spot just behind your ear and running his hand across your waist and belly.
But what about the baby? What about whether you wanted to keep it or not? These questions were lodged in your throat, dying to burst out, but you didn’t want to to ruin this moment. You were so tired; you just wanted to be held, and Ransom was willing to do that for you, so what was the harm in giving in?
You lifted a leg and wrapped it around his thigh, and that Ransom took as acquiescence or defeat. He pulled away to lift your shirt above your breasts and wasted no time diving for them, capturing one of your nipples in his mouth and squeezing the other in between his fingers. You planted your feet on the couch and used them as leverage push your crotch upwards and rub it against his. He was a terrible person, you knew, but he could fuck you so good when he wanted to, and right now you only had the brain space to care about one of those things.
Your hips rocked in tandem with his, driving you closer to that edge you didn’t know you were yearning for until you saw him standing on your doorstep. Entangled in his arms, you remembered your older brother’s words from that night some ten years ago when you were lying on the backseat of his car, a plastic bag filled with your vomit clutched in your hands. You saw his eyes in the rear view mirror, crinkling in a smile that was equal parts amused and concerned.
A pretty boy is going to be the end of you, huh?
Ransom pushed himself into a kneeling position, removed his dark cardigan and tossed it to some forgotten corner of your living room, his shirt receiving the same treatment soon after. For someone who was so averse to working, he sure didn’t skimp on his work outs. He was built like a god, but his smile was that of the devil.
He crashed down on top of you, and his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you to him. You sunk both hands in his perfectly coiffed hair and dragged him up until you were staring into his baby blue eyes. He leaned down to kiss you, and you obliged him. His mouth devoured your own while his hands roamed your body, hungry, desperate almost. You didn’t want to be outdone, both because he was an asshole and you didn’t want to lose to him, and because you were as starved of him as he seemed to be of you, so you wrapped both legs around his waist to pull yourself even closer to him, as close as you could get.
Ransom’s hands abandoned your body in favor of his belt, unbuckling it to shove his pants just past his upper thighs. His eyes were pointed, telling you he expected you to follow his lead. You undid your buttons with heavy fingers, and allowed him to pull your bottoms all the way off. His grin grew in size and insolence when he saw your panties were soaked through.
“You do want it bad.”
Fucking dipshit.
Before you could think of something smarter to say, he was dragging your underwear to the side and spreading your folds. You certainly weren’t going to think of a comeback now, with his fingers up your cunt and your body begging for his attention. You wouldn’t be this aroused with any other man, but you already knew you suffered from a serious case of tastelessness and dumb. Most grievously, it appeared to be terminal.
Ransom stoked the fires inside you with one hand, pulling it out periodically to smear the wetness across your lower lips while he held himself aloft with the other, his usual lazy, confident smile plastered on his face. It made a sudden wave of lucidity wash over you.
What the fuck were you doing? You knew he wasn’t worth your time since the day you met him; Three days ago he had treated you like shit after you told him you were pregnant; Just a few minutes before you were determined not to get involved with him or men like him ever again. All the signs told you to stop now, push him away and tell him to get out under threat of you calling the police, and yet here you were, panting under him and dying to feel his cock stretching you. The mere promise of dick had you going back on your word like a rat, and all you did was make excuses for yourself. You were always too weak or too dumb to resist your urges, weren’t you? That’s why you never bothered trying.
“Wai-”
The air was forcibly expelled from your lungs when his cock entered you. He wasn’t gentle, and he didn’t have to be; your body was more than ready for him. The grunt that came fro you had an air of finality to it. You weren’t going to stop him now.
The screaming part of you let out one final screech, then withered and died.
Ransom panted, rolling his hips against yours. You held onto his arms and looked up at him. This was unusual. Normally he’d be pounding into you when you were this slick, and unusual with Ransom tended to mean ‘bad’.
He brought two wet fingers to your face and tapped your chin with them.
“Get me clean.”
You parted your lips and accepted the appendages into your mouth. Nothing unusual there; he’d made you taste yourself on his fingers a couple of times. He liked to watch you lick them clean, but this was different. His smile was strained and his eyes looked past you. You turned the full powerful of your best puppy impression on him, but he still seemed to be half-there half-somewhere else.
Once you had slurped all your juices and then some, Ransom moved both his hands to your arms, pressing you against the hard surface of the couch. He should’ve started fucking you already, but he only rocked his pelvis side to side, giving you just a hint of friction, nowhere near enough to satisfy you.
You whined and bucked your hips upwards. That got him out of his trance, his eyes regaining their shine and his smile splitting into a grin. There was that asshole you knew and didn’t love.
“What’s with that face?” He asked and moved one of his hands to your neck, applying pressure, not enough to compromise your breathing but enough to leave you light-headed for a different reason “You want something?”
“Ransom,” you clawed at his forearm like you could do anything if he chose to choke you.
“You gotta ask, baby. If you want daddy to fuck you, you gotta ask.”
Your fingers stilled around his arm. The daddy thing was not new either, but you didn’t think he’d bring it up under the present circumstances. Was this intentional, or was he not even aware of what he was saying? Were you wrong to think it was weird for him to say that now?
The fingers around your throat tightened, closing your airway for a moment, then releasing.
“Ask.”
You squirmed, tapping on his arm, but all that got you was another squeeze.
“Please,” you whimpered “Please, fuck me, daddy.”
Ransom’s grin grew even wider, wide enough that light reflected off his canines. He adjusted his position on his knees, and took his other hand from your arm, reaching behind your head to pull you by the hair, further exposing your neck to him.
“That’s a good girl,” he whispered against the top of your head.
He pulled his cock almost all the way out, then slammed back inside you. He pushed into you with shallow thrusts until he tapped a spot that made you gasp. Having found what he was looking for, Ransom diverted most of his attentions to hitting his target over and over again, periodically stopping to grind against it in a torturous slow pace.
You were too aroused to last much longer, and the bastard would be able to finish you off with little effort.
“You close, baby? You wanna cum?” He asked, and you nodded emphatically “Then you gotta do what daddy says. Can you do that?”
God, you’d do anything he asked of you at this point. Someone needed to tattoo ‘Sucker’ on your forehead already.
“Yes, daddy!” You cried, your words devolving into a high-pitched whine “I’ll do anything, please!”
The hand in your neck slid down across your body and delved in between your legs in search of your clit. You squealed when his fingers made contact, and whimpered when they began rubbing. You were aware of your trembling legs, but unable to do anything about them.
Ransom could always dismantle you with ease, but now more so than ever. You came in record time, with short little moans that culminated in an embarrassing howl. You were just coming down from your high when he picked up his pace, grunting and huffing above you. He gave you no warning before spilling into you, swaying back and forth and groaning as his own orgasm ebbed away. The fact that this was the least concerning thing he’d done all evening didn’t escape you.
He held you to him for a few seconds as both your breaths evened out, then rolled over, leaning against the backrest and lying you down by the outer edge of the couch. Ransom was always more tractable after sex, but he’d go back to being his dismissive self come the morning, and then you’d bitch and moan to yourself. This was a familiar dance you couldn't seem to stop repeating.
You were ready to recommence your self-pitying when Ransom spoke, interrupting the flow of your lamentations.
“I thought about what you said the other day,” he said. The pregnancy? Why would he bring that up now? “and if you want to keep it, I’ll help you.”
A tremor ran through your spine and you lost your precarious balance on the couch, falling to the carpet with a loud thud.
There was laughter – because of course there was – then Ransom was peering down at you. His lips were pressed together, as if he was still fighting to rein in his amusement.
“You… you want to help me?” You asked when you found your voice again.
He nodded. “I do.”
“You want to help me raise a kid?”
“Yeah,” he rolled his eyes “I thought that was obvious the first two times I said it.”
“You don’t like kids.”
“I like to think I would like my kids,” Ransom said, stretching across your couch like a lazy cat.
“Why?” You said, then, realizing that question was more for yourself than it was for him, you rephrased your question “What made you change your mind? Cause you seemed pretty sure when I saw you last.”
“And I was,” he agreed “I never wanted kids, and… And I was pissed,” he chuckled and shook his head “I don’t know who I was pissed at. All I know is I couldn't think straight. When I saw the pregnancy test… I don’t know, I could see my entire life crumbling.”
You could’ve asked him ‘what life?’ but decided against it.
“So, cut to a few days later, and I had this… Clarity. I realized there was nothing I could do if you wanted to keep it, and maybe,” he paused to take a deep breath “maybe I should take responsibility.”
You sat up and made a point of frowning at him. “Seriously, what happened?”
“I told you already. Just… boom – clarity.”
You knew Ransom was sharper than a first impression would lead one to believe, but self-awareness was not his forte. Could he have had a change of heart in such a short period of time? Did you believe him? You wanted to believe him.
“Do you seriously want to raise a kid with me?”
He laughed and threw his hands up in the air “How many times do I gotta say it?”
“Do you even know what that entails?”
“Hey, I babysat my cousins a couple times,” he said, picking at the foam peeking through a hole in the upholstery of your couch “I bet I’d do better than you.”
Being a parent had to be harder than watching children for a few hours, but as far as experience with children went… well, maybe he was onto something.
A palm emerged in front of you, rousing you from your thoughts.
“Truce?” Ransom asked. There was something about the way he looked at you gave you hope.
Earnest, he looked earnest.
You took his hand in yours and shook once.
“Truce.”
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Part 2: I Came Out to Have a Good Time and I’m Honestly Feeling So Attacked Right Now
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