#ck’s 7 days of christmas | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

plooto · 4 months

Text

⋆˙✧⋆｡ kinkmas day 7 — under the table / blanket ｡⋆✧˙⋆

warnings ❆. rda ! jake , recom ! reader , no plot , whiny ! pussy drunk ! jake , watersports (?) , size kink if you squint , voyeurism , p i v .

now playing : this christmas ; jackson 5

1:01 ──|─────── 2:16

volume : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯

“ fuck- y’gotta be quiet baby girl- ” you clenched around him, his fingers gripping at you hips through the blanket as you grind your hips against his, clit brushing against his hips in just the right way. a whimper left your lips as he hit the deepest parts of you, tilting your hips just the right way to leave you seeing stars.

“ oh- s’that what you want huh? y’want prager to wake up don’t you? ” he asks, shifting his feet flat on the bed, thrusting you up higher, pulling you down firm against his hips.

your toes curled as you scratched at jakes chest through his tank, unable to contain the moan that left your lips,

“ want him to see you all fucked out on my cock? -yeah baby. ” he grunts, thrusting into you with unwavering strength, you cursed, feeling heat pool in your stomach as he hits the spongy part deep inside you. you slapped a hand over your mouth, trying to hide the sinful noises from jake’s sleeping roommate. his hips drop back down against the bed, shifting your foot awkwardly,

“ wha- ” he adjusts your feet for you, hugging you to his chest,

“ c’mere ” he grunts, pistoning his cock in and out of you roughly. your hands pinned to his chest, you bit down on his shoulder to muffle the sound coming out of you as he hit the deepest parts of you.

“ fu-ck baby you feel so good, so wet- ” he whines haphazardly you felt your pussy throb as he ruts into you, rolling his hips so deep—so slow. low whimpers leaves his plumped lips as he mumbled,

“ fuck. i can’t- ” he pauses for a moment, flipping you beneath him and pressing a finger to your clit. your eyes crossed, hips moving on their own as they tried to meet jake’s needy thrusts. “ yes. shit- just like that baby. just like that. ” you didn’t care how loud you were—nothing could ever have prepared you for seeing the blinding bright lights of pressure—falling over the edge head first, shaking with the sheer impact of your orgasm. you claw at jake’s back as the blanket threatened to fall off your curled toes.

jake angles his hips, hitting that spot with every deep stroke; you shuttered. you knew something was coming fast—forming in your tummy much faster than what you were used to. you wanted to warn him, but as he rolled into your hips at practiced angles, the shrill of pleasure shot up your spine—coating his hips and the bed sheets by far.

“ shit baby i’m- ” he came with a low growl, stilling his hips against your as he pumped his seed deep inside you. pulling out only to fuck the drops back in you. your breath slowly returned to you as you felt him fill you full of his warmth.

( lost in your own world of pleasure, neither of you noticed prager wasn’t as still as before—he was awake.

squeezing his eyes shut as he thrusts into his hand, the other hand giving him something to bite down on when the sounds got louder—when you squirted on jake.

neither of you noticing that another orgasm happened at the same time. )

tags -> @luvv4j4ybe11

x . the song i originally chose was i saw mommy kissing santa claus but i thought that would be too telling ? and also tumblr posted this on thanksgiving 😃

#atwow jake x reader #dilf jake sully smut #atwow jake #jake sully smut #jake sully x reader #jake sully #atwow smut #atwow jake sully #tteokbokki 🌶️ // spicy #avatar12daysofkinkmas #. character // jake sully

300 notes · View notes

missxmav · 3 months

Text

new beginnings - tom kazansky

tom 'iceman' kazansky x reader

Summary: Tom finds his pregnant wife in the heart of their shared home, the sight of her simply takes his breath away. Word count: 1,120+ Warnings: fluuuufffff, SERIOUSLY FLUFFY SOFT TOM, pregnancy, afab!reader (still working on gender neutral tone as best I can), assumptions about size (I play into the plus size side of things because I am plus size, but there's no direct mention), no use of y/n (just she/her pronouns) A/N: This is only rough edited by myself, I'm so sorry for any mistakes. (Im rusty as f*ck at fic writing) I've had this fic in my back pocket for months, please enjoy all the fluff. I'm head over heels for val kilmer as a person, and I'm well aware that the gif is not from Top Gun... this is however an aged up version of Commander Kazansky (;

Tom wasn't typically a man of many words, even after Top Gun and becoming a commander... He was still on track to becoming an admiral in a couple years and his stoic ice-cold exterior has carried him far in the Navy. No, there wasn't much that could get in his way now.

Except for her.

She melted his every icy edge. Especially now that she's 7 months pregnant with his baby. The way she waddled around the sizable estate that he purchased the year they got married. It'd been nearly 7 years since that beautiful day, but Tom and his wife decided to focus on their separate careers before committing to living with little ones under foot. He was nearing his mid-to-late 30's now and with his career excelling, his mind constantly settled on imagining what her beautiful features would be like mixed with his.

Would they get his ice-like stare or her warm bright irises that see right through to his soul? Would they get his pin straight hair that stuck up in all the wrong places or her beautiful, textured hair that fell beautifully in every light?

His mind would run rampant every time he looked at her, his eyes never failing to trail up and down her whole figure. He would linger on her face, taking in how absolutely mesmerizing she was in the pregnancy glow before darting down to her ever-changing belly. It was very noticeable now, and the way she braced the underside of the bump softened his stare every time. Even through the literal growing pains of making a human, she looked ethereal. He subconsciously pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. Tom was fully convinced that she could never be more beautiful than she was in this exact moment.

With a warm but soft chuckle under his breath, he stood slowly and made his way over to her. The book she'd been perusing at the kitchen counter happened to be a cookbook he got her for Christmas in the early years of their relationship. He'd assumed she must be craving something specific by the way she quickly flipped through the pages. He placed his hands over the tops of her shoulders, giving a gentle rub to the tense muscles in her shoulder blades and leaned in to kiss her neck. The smell of her conditioner and body wash from her shower this morning is almost intoxicating. His body was warm, causing her to lean back on his chest.

"You're absolutely radiant dear," Tom stated, a smile forming across his lips. "And absolutely distracting..." He hasn't been able to take his eyes off her since she entered the kitchen adjacent to the doors of his office. He'd been trying to get through some paperwork before finding her to ask what you might want for lunch as she graced her way into the heart of their shared home.

She was one of the only women that could ever truly take his breath away, though many tried. Even in a moment like this... with his wedding band heavy on her finger and growing the fruit of his love for her in her tummy, he still had to remind himself to breathe.

His large arms made their way down her body until they gently embraced her and her bump. He supported her belly gently, the same way the two had learned in the parenting classes Tom insisted on attending once she confirmed her pregnancy. The soft hum that escaped her throat told him that she needed this. Her eyes fluttered closed as he stood there, swaying gently with her in his arms.

“Blueberry.” Was the only thing that snapped the quiet of the moment between the two of them. Her words were soft in his ears. Tom raised an eyebrow in curiosity as he leaned forward to place his chin on her shoulder. The pages of the cookbook landed on a muffin recipe that had been dog-eared and made enough times to sport the stains of baking chaos.

Another low chuckle reverberated through his chest. “Cravings?” Tom placed another gentle kiss on her neck as he slowly released his childbearing wife to turn to the refrigerator behind him. This recipe was one he was familiar with, having made it several times over the years. He grabbed out the bowl of blueberries, buttermilk, butter and eggs while his wife gathered the remaining dry ingredients.

A quiet melodic sound filled the kitchen as Tom watched his wife pull up the large glass bowl from the cabinet. The smile spread across his face as he recognized their wedding song falling from her lips. “I wanna know what love is…”

Tom set the cold ingredients out on the counter, crossing the kitchen swiftly to pull her back into his arms. “I want you to show me…” He whispered to her, a hum parting his lips as he twirled her around slowly in the afternoon light of their kitchen. He mirrored her radiant smile as they slowly swayed together, her baby bump separating them a little more than usual but neither of them cared.

After enjoying the embrace of her husband, Tom’s wife pushed him away gently as she resumed making the muffins lil’ kazansky was craving so badly. The blonde commander only laughed as he kissed her hand before parting their embrace. He too busied himself making muffins again wordlessly as he reached into the bottom drawer of the oven. Grabbing out the old muffin tin, he paused to preheat the oven as he lingered there for a moment.

Tom’s hand immediately found his wife’s lower back as he brought the tin over to the island countertop, using the other to place the white liners in each cup. A devious giggle caught his attention and before he could even blink, she’d managed to touch his nose with a flour-covered hand. His steely eyes closed suddenly as she swiped at his face, unable to hide the slow grin that parted his lips as he dipped his own hand into the bowl of flour.

He laughed as he pulled her back from the counter slightly, his flour covered hand landing gently over the top of her baby bump. The white handprint was stark on her dark dress. The gasp that escaped from the woman in his arms only made him laugh harder as she rolled her eyes and shook her head at her husband’s antics.

"What am I going to do with you, Thomas Kazansky? ” She said exasperatedly despite a smile growing on her face.

“Love me.” He said simply, his eyes gazing deeply into hers as he pulled her in close again. “And make muffins with me forever.” She laughed, her heart full, as she accepted his proposal.

#tom kazansky x reader #tom iceman kazansky x reader #iceman x reader #tom kazansky #tom iceman kazansky #iceman #top gun iceman #top gun #top gun maverick #tom kazansky x pregnant!reader #fluff #val kilmer #pregnant reader

206 notes · View notes

harrowreads · 1 year

Text

❥ Yoongi Fic Recs

❣ Each blurb gives a glimpse of the contents of each fic, but be sure to read the warnings before proceeding! ❣

Yoongi is my main bias + main obsession so plz don't perceive the length of this list, okay. It's going to be absolutely ridiculous.

❥ 12 Lays of Christmas: Day 2 by minisugakoobies | drabble, tumblr ↳ Gift wrapping with your boyfriend goes a little awry. ❣ Gender Non-Specified Reader ❣ smut, pwp | established relationship ↻ read my review

❥ All That Holly Jolly Sh*t by daechwitatamic | oneshot, tumblr ↳ You haven’t seen or heard from Yoongi since he broke your heart five years ago, laying out a logical list of reasons why you were better off breaking up. When a Christmas Eve blizzard traps you together for the night, you have no choice but to examine how few of those reasons are still true. And if they’re not… where does that leave you? ❣ Female Reader ❣ smut, fluff, angst | exes to lovers ↻ read my review

❥ Best Served Cold by anotherbtswriter | series, tumblr ↳ Yoongi shields his eyes from the flames. Smoke coats his throat, and he pants for breath. As he lies on the wet pavement, he realizes that this Molotov cocktail, this cheap-ass, dime-store intimidation tactic currently burning through his club, is a plan to intimidate him. First, he was annoyed. Now he’s pissed. ❣ Female Reader ❣ smut, fluff, angst | exes to lovers ↻ read my reviews: ch. 1, ch. 2, ch. 3, ch.4

❥ Blackthorn by sweetestofchaos | series, tumblr ↳ Min Yoongi, the last Emperor of the Joseon dynasty was betrothed to a foreign Princess from the time he could walk. The two exchanged many letters and gifts over the years as their love bloomed. Emperor Yoongi loved his Princess and it was on their wedding day that he was finally able to express his true feelings with his actions and not just his words. The love story of Emperor Yoongi and Empress Keena has been passed down from generation to generation; a love story so strong that it had surpassed the passage of time. Now a millennium later, the Emperor and Empress have been reborn at the same time…will history repeat itself or will the two become victims of the difficulties placed in their path? ❣ Female Reader ❣ smut, fluff, angst | strangers to lovers, arranged marriage au, soulmate au, fantasy ↻ read my reviews: ch. 1, ch. 2, ch. 3, ch. 4, ch. 5, ch. 6, ch. 7, ch. 8, ch. 9, ch. 10, ch. 11, ch. 12

❥ Cybersex by gimmethatagustd | oneshot, tumblr ↳ The whole point of being a phone sex hotline operator is that you’ll never have to meet your clients. So what are you supposed to do when you find out your favorite client is your brother’s best friend? ❣ Female Reader ❣ smut, fluff, humor | brother's best friend, friends to lovers ↻ read my review

❥ Defrosting Ivy by moccahobi ↳ In a world where the 3 apex predators (humans, vampires, and werewolves) have been in a long standing power imbalance, Y/n is tasked with going undercover as a diplomat for the start of peace talks. What do they need to do? Find a talisman their organization has managed to identify as vital in resolving the conflict and ensuring the safety of all humans. ❣ Female Reader ❣ fluff, angst | supernatural au, enemies to lovers ↻ read my review

❥ Devil Town by park-jimin-isnt-real | series, tumblr ❥ Chapter 1: Somewhere Lost - the guide ↳ You wake up on a bench in a forest, with no memory before then or recollection of how you got there. The person greeting you gives you three options: going into the Great Unknown (to never be seen again), wandering the woods (until you become an Edelwood tree), or spending a month in Devil Town. ❣ Female Reader ❣ platonic, light angst | over the garden wall au, speculative ↻ read my review

❥ Drip by here2bbtstrash | oneshot, tumblr ↳ When Yoongi makes the bold statement that any girl can squirt, you decide to call him on his bluff. ❣ Female Reader ❣ smut, pwp | friends to lovers ↻ read my review

❥ F*ck Christmas by sailoryoons | oneshot, tumblr ↳ Making hating Christmas your entire personality was never the plan. Then again, it seems bad things only ever happen around Christmas - like discovering your fiancé cheating on you, forcing you to move back to your sleepy hometown. But Min Yoongi happens to love Christmas, and if there is one thing your very stubborn childhood crush is going to do, it’s try to reignite your Christmas spirit. Even if he has to force-feed it to you with gingerbread cookies and too-sweet eggnog. ❣ Female Reader ❣ fluff, smut, humor | friends to lovers ↻ read my review

❥ Good Fortune & A New Beginning by moonleeai | oneshot, tumblr ↳ Grumpy neighbor Yoongi is secretly a softie. ❣ Female Reader, 1st person ❣ fluff | strangers to lovers ↻ read my review

❥ If Walls Could Talk by btsrunmyiife | unfinished oneshot, tumblr ↳ You’re part of a web series of paranormal investigators that take cases from clients who believe their homes are haunted. While working in such close proximity, it’s only natural for some of you to gravitate toward one another – whether it be for stress relief or more. ❣ Female Reader ❣ smut | coworkers who fuck ❣ warnings: paranormal themes, mention of suicide ↻ read my review

❥ Invisible String by btsrunmyiife | series, tumblr ↳ Sometimes the hardest thing in life is letting yourself be seen. ❣ Female Reader ❣ queer, smut, fluff, angst | social media au, college au, strangers to friends to lovers ❣ warnings: topics of sexual assault & racial discrimination ↻ read my review

❥ Kick Up the Fire and Let the Flames Break Loose by ffion451 | series, tumblr ↳ Years after you gave up on him, Kim Taehyung appears back in your life: Are you the same person you were back then? Do you still love him? And why is it, with the supposed love of your life back, that you can’t stop thinking about the taciturn rapper who you has just come into your life? ❣ Female Reader | Feat. Taehyung ❣ smut, angst | friends to enemies to strangers to ?, strangers to friends to ? ↻ read my reviews: ch. 0, ch. 1

❥ Let Me by sailoryoons | oneshot, tumblr ↳ You’ve been friends with Yoongi for as long as you remember. When he tells you he’s never - and he means never - received oral in his life, you take it upon yourself to lend a mouth hand. ❣ Female Reader ❣ smut, pwp | friends to lovers ↻ read my review

❥ Nothing to Hide by gimmethatagustd | oneshot, tumblr ↳ It’s your boyfriend’s first Pride Month since coming out, and you’re determined to make sure he has the time of his life. ❣ Female Reader ❣ queer, smut, pwp | established relationship ↻ read my review

❥ Obsidian by sailoryooons | series, tumblr ↳ You remember everything. The first time you radiated at garnet, feeling the power of the jewel rushing through you. Remember the energy pulsing at your command. And you certainly remember the face of the man who ruined your life. Then there’s Min Yoongi, the Chaotic who is the key to your revenge. ❣ angst, eventual smut | strangers to lovers, urban fantasy, crime syndicate ❣ warnings: graphic violence, morally grey characters ↻ read my reviews: ch. 0, ch. 1, ch. 2

❥ Please Linger by matchy6812 | series, tumblr ↳ After terrorizing the villagers with one too many pranks, you’ve been locked away in The Tower to atone for your petty crimes. As far as you know, The Tower is impenetrable. Nobody can get in, and nobody can get out. It seems you’ll never escape—until one night, a man named Yoongi barges in… ❣ Female Reader ❣ humor, slow burn, smut, angst | fantasy au, strangers to lovers ↻ read my reviews: ch. 1, ch. 2, ch. 3

❥ Right Here Right Now by hobidreams | oneshot, tumblr ↳ What if little red wants to be eaten by the big bag wolves? ❣ Female Reader | Feat. Hoseok & Namjoon ❣ group, smut, pwp, humor | werewolf au, college au, friends to lovers ↻ read my review

❥ Suga's How-To Guide: How to Tr(eat) Them Right by sailoryoons | oneshot, tumblr ↳ Min Yoongi has been a cam boy for a few years now. The work is easy, the money is good, and he has loyal viewers. When he approaches you and asks if you want to be his muse for a ‘how-to’ series, your view on the infamous Yoongi changes. ❣ Female Reader ❣ smut, pwp | friends to lovers ↻ read my review

❥ Taste by 7deadlysinsfics | drabble, tumblr ↳ Hoseok is in a sharing mood and his best friend is so, so thankful. ❣ Female Reader | Feat. Hoseok ❣ threesome, implied smut | established relationship, strangers to lovers ↻ read my review

❥ Taste So Sweet by btsrunmyiife | oneshot, tumblr ↳ Yoongi is helping you experience something new, something you’ve always wanted to try. All you wanted to do was kiss a girl. You should have known it would be so much more than you imagined. ❣ Female Reader | Feat. Hwasa ❣ threesome, queer, pwp, smut | college au, established relationship + friends to lovers ↻ read my review

❥ The Earth, Your Butt, and Other Big...Flat Things? by matchy6812 | oneshot, tumblr ↳ When your world-famous boyfriend reveals himself to be an apparent flat earther, you decide to hold a modern exorcism—as in, you’re gonna try to fuck the stewpid out of him. ❣ Female Reader ❣ humor, smut, pwp | idol au, established relationship ↻ read my review

❥ Twirl for Me by gimmethatagustd | series, tumblr ↳ You’re perfectly content with admiring your ballet student’s father from afar, until he discovers the secret of your second job when he pays for a VIP room at the local strip club. What’s worse is your new knowledge of his secret life that won’t let you get him off your mind, no matter how awful it is. ❣ Female Reader | Feat. Jungkook ❣ smut, angst, slow burn | stripper au, strangers to lovers ↻ read my review

❥ Versus by minisugakoobies | series, tumblr ↳ Supervillain exes Yoongi and Hoseok are sick and tired of having their plans for world domination wrecked by you, aka Vitality, the world’s most powerful superhero. When fellow villain Jimin suggests a little competition to see who can bring you to your knees, they both eagerly accept. Now the battle is on as both men engage you in fight after fight to see who will conquer you first. Will you finally defeat these two, or will they destroy you - and possibly take each other out in the process? ❣ Female Reader | Feat. Hoseok ❣ smut, humor, fluff, angst | supervillain au, enemies to lovers ❣ warnings: some violence, use of weapons, fighting ↻ read my review

Yoongi x Reader as a side pairing:

❥ Business as Usual by blog-name-idk | series, tumblr ↳ The first thing Jin noticed about you was that you were hot. The second was that you were fucking brilliant. The third was that you were kind of a bitch. Basically, you were perfect. | The first thing you noticed about Jin was that he was hot. The second was the professors already called him by name. The third was that he was an insufferable prick. Basically, you hated his guts. ❣ Female Reader | Feat. Seokjin as main pairing ❣ smut, fluff, humor | college au, enemies to lovers ↻ read my reviews: masterlist, ch. 1, ch. 4

❥ The Love Witch by gimmethatagustd | oneshot, tumblr ↳ Despite being a popular romance blogger, Yoongi isn’t interested in finding love. He only summons a demon boyfriend to prove to his followers that it’s possible. He’ll send Taehyung right back to Hell once he’s done with him, obviously. ❣ Yoongi x Taehyung ❣ smut, fluff, humor, hint of angst | modern fantasy au, fake dating, strangers to lovers ↻ read my review

#yoongi smut #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #yoongi fic recs #master list: yoongi

147 notes · View notes

night-error · 7 months

Text

So I had spare time and I decided to draw my oc and Iris (why iris? He is the only caretaker i can draw without a ref-)

Random oc ranting below the cut

Soooo yeah, also just for context. My oc was born not pure but also not a corrupt, making her the first neutral shape on paradise. Her chest marking is the corrupted symbol but its a light purple corronding to her hair. This idea was actually original as I've never seen an oc like her ig. She is also a species of monster called "titan" ..im trying to find a better name. I promise. Its also why she looks humanish. Okay, back to the point about her being a neutral shape. She doesn't fear the corruption as for her to get corrupted it has to break through her skin so a slap won't do unless it tears off at least 1 layer of skin. Same with burns! They ONLY exception to this is corrupted water. It can corrupt her within a few seconds. Besides from that, she thinks the corruption is beautiful, since it is very different from everything she was told. Seeing corruptions who share the same chest marking make her feel alot more welcomed in corrupted areas. She feels alot more safer.

Also in my au, my oc was born during the first part of the pink corruption and had to be looked after by iris (her mom died. Same with her dad-) . They are distant cousins in my au and my oc has no other relatives (for the time being). During the first pink corruption thing iris was corrupted but his corruption would refuse to cause harm to her, since the pure side of iris's mindset was only set on protecting her and not harming her. Iris also does her hair. I know it isn't important but I believe iris being good at doing hair is a nice hc honestly. I also hc that he has a flower garden (I will probably draw it sooner or later) back to the main idea tho, iris only wanted to protect her from dub and probably the king of land of the Spheers since he might kill her for being corrupt like. She was kept a secret until iris met the big circles (Cirtunda, Circumuscle, Rincle and a new born spheer. Spheer is only 2 weeks older than her). They offered to help teach iris how to look after my oc and yeah. She basically lived there with iris and the big circles. Until iris moved away with pentellow, my oc was heartbroken but she had to let him go at some point (she is 7 at this point). Iris would always visit about, 43-67 times per year. Until pentellow was a caretaker, so it shortened too 23-33 times a year. Then when iris became a caretaker, only about 2-4 times. This upset her but she accepted it and just got on with life, she only cried once when iris didn't appear for Christmas like he promised. And yeah.

My Oc's name is Nightterror BTW. (It was originally ment to be pigment but Nightterror sounded more bada$$)

I promise the iris in my au isn't a d!ck he's just very overwhelmed and busy.

My oc is also a caretaker, her hero didnt come from a tree of life. But thats a rant for another day.

#sketch #lazy #digital art #the pink corruption #iris is the best #the pink corruption iris #the pink corruption oc #ranting #art i think #i have a problem #i need to stop tagging

11 notes · View notes

johnthestitcher · 1 year

Text

51 Naughty Christmas Jokes That Will Put You on Santa’s Naughty List

1. What do snowmen use to make snowbabies?

Snowballs, of course.

2. Why doesn’t Santa have kids of his own?

He only comes once a year, and it’s down the chimney.

3. What did Santa sing when he went down the chimney?

“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…”

4. You know what’s so great about this time of year?

You can slam your laptop shut when your partner walks into the room, and you don’t get any disgusted looks.

5. Say your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas…

Can I visit between the holidays?

6. As I was paying the cashier for my Christmas tree, he asked, “Are you going to put that up yourself?”

I said, “No, I’m putting it up in the living room.”

7. Why are Christmas trees better than men?

Even the small ones give satisfaction.

8. Why does Santa always land on your roof?

Because he likes it on top.

9. Why was the snowman smiling?

He could see the snowblower coming down the street.

10. Why did Santa divorce Mrs. Claus?

He was obsessed with getting the cookie.

11. Is that a candy cane in your pocket?

Or are you just happy to see me?

12. Is your name Jingle Bells?

Cause you look ready to go all the way.

13. Wanna see the North Pole?

That’s what Mrs. Claus calls it…

14. What do you call Santa’s helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

15. What does Mrs. Claus get when she wears tight pants?

A mistletoe.

16. Why does Santa always have a full sack?

Because he only comes once a year!

17. What do all the female reindeer do when Santa takes the males out to guide his sleigh?

They go into town and blow a few bucks.

18. Dear Santa…

Define ‘good’.

19. Why did Santa send his daughter to college?

To keep her off the North Pole.

20. What’s the difference between a Christmas tree and Santa?

A Christmas tree will stay up for 12 nights, has cute balls, and looks good with the lights on.

21. Why does Santa Claus like to get naughty after coming down the chimney?

Because it soots him.

22. What happened when Mr. and Mrs. Claus got randy beneath the Christmas tree?

She came down with tinselitis!

23. Why was the elf having trouble with his libido?

He had low elf-esteem.

24. What’s the most disappointing thing for a lover on Christmas morning?

When they get a sweater, but they’re hoping for a screamer or a moaner.

25. The Santa at the shopping mall was quite surprised when he saw Martha, a woman in her mid-twenties, asking to sit on his lap. We all know Santa doesn’t usually take requests from adults, but she smiled at him very nicely, and he ended up asking her what she wanted for Christmas.

“Something for my mother, please,” she replied. “Something for your mother? That’s very loving and thoughtful of you,” smiled Santa. “What would you like me to bring her?” Emily answered quickly, “A son-in-law.”

26. Why does Santa always come through the chimney?

Because he knows better than to try the back door.

27. What does a man who had a vasectomy have in common with a Christmas tree?

Their balls are both decorative.

28. Why is Christmas like an orgasm?

The closer it gets, the louder you get about its arrival.

29. What do you call a sex toy on a Christmas tree?

A d*ckoration.

30. A wife walked in on her husband putting on a condom. “What are you doing?” she asked.

He replied, “Wrapping your Christmas present!”

31. What did Miss Piggy give Kermit for Christmas?

A ham-job.

32. What do you call a Christmas sex toy drive?

Toys for Thoughts.

33. How would a sportscaster describe Frosty the Snowman’s lovemaking?

“Thumpity-thump-thump, thumpity-thump-thump, look at Frosty go!”

34. What happened when the Grinch tried Viagra?

He grew three sizes that day.

35. How does Santa practice safe sex?

He always wraps his package before shoving it down the chimney.

36. Why do elves laugh when they run?

Because the snow tickles their balls.

37. Why does Mrs. Claus always pray for a white Christmas?

Cause she’s married to a guy who comes once a year.

38. What do you call a penis wearing a Santa hat?

Jolly Old Saint D*ck.

39. What makes Christmas such a great partner to Thanksgiving?

Christmas always comes after Thanksgiving.

40. Why does Santa’s crotch make noise when he walks?

He has jingle balls.

41. How can you tell if Santa and Mrs. Claus have been, ahem, passionate?

He has Claus marks on his back.

42. What does Santa say when he reaches climax?

“Oh, oh, OH!”

43. What do you call a crotchety old man who gets down with three ghosts on Christmas Eve?

Ebenezer Screws.

44. Why does Mrs. Claus wish Santa Claus was like a stocking?

Because stockings are hung.

45. What’s more fun than a kiss under the mistletoe?

Unwrapping your package under the Christmas tree.

46. Who’s the friskiest reindeer?

Vixen.

47. How does Mrs. Claus make Santa feel better after a long night carrying so many heavy gifts?

She empties his sack.

48. Why did Frosty put his magic hat over his crotch?

He wanted it to come to life.

49. What do a train set and boobs have in common?

They were both made for kids, but dads can’t resist playing with them.

50. What do you call a penis too big to fit in a sock?

A stocking stuffer.

51. Why does Mrs. Claus call her lap the chimney?

So Santa will go down.

#naughty christmas jokes that will get you on santa's naughty list

59 notes · View notes

arrowflier · 1 year

Text

2022 fic writer's interview

Thanks to @thisdivorce, @energievie, @vintagelacerosette for the tags!

1. How many works do you have on AO3

59--but quite a few are compilations, which would basically double it.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

460,173

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Meet the Neighbors (I'm coming back to it soonish I swear)

Eighty-Seven Percent (Anatomy of a Heart)

Marriage, Mickey, and Milk of the Gods

Being His Baby Don't Make Me a Bitch

In Case of Emergency

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Sometimes. I go through phases of trying to be better about it, but my brain is also weird and I start to feel conceited if I keep saying thank you😅 I always massively appreciate them though, it makes me so happy!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don't think any, except for maybe a couple of galladrabbles like this one

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

They have to end to have a happy ending lol, but basically anything that's done.

7. Do you write crossovers?

I'm never sure what can be classed as a crossover, but I've done 911 (In Case of Emergency), Jurassic Park (Tooth and Claw), sort of X-Men, sort of Star Wars (with ideas for a full fic that may or may not come to be), and probably some I'm forgetting.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Just once I think, and it was just someone who really doesn't like Vee's nickname being spelled with more than one letter.🤣

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, and I'm way too proud of it lol. It's mostly way too wordy and flowery language abounds because that's also the only way I can read it😂 I've got a collection of ficlets here from when I first started to write NSFW by request, and other assorted works.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but that would be really cool!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Calli (@ianandmickeygallavich1) and I have been playing around with one (very slowly on my part) that you can find under the tag #arrow&calli write

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I phase in and out of quite a few but right now Gallavich

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I refuse to say I won't finish anything I've started posting lol, but there are a couple things in an old doc that will probably never see the light of day.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I usually say description, but I've been struggling with it lately. Funnily enough, I think dialogue has been working best for me even though I've traditionally been uncomfortable with it.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Overcomplicating things: the plot, the sentence structure, everything. If I can overdo something I will.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I've done it once and I think it worked out ok, but I avoid it in general because I don't want to screw it up.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Shameless! Pretty much the only, too.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Good Omens and Our Flag Means Death, both of which I've previously planned things for but never followed through on. I'd be open to a pretty wide range of others but haven't had specific inspiration.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I'm gonna not limit myself on this, because I haven't felt like I like any of it lately but I was looking through my own stuff for these questions and honestly had forgotten so many I'm kinda proud of? So...

My first fic, because it got me here: F*ck the Stars

My latest fic, because I enjoyed writing for the first time in a while: Countdown to Christmas

My zine fic and my spicy collab fics, just because it was so cool to be part of the group: One hundred hours (without you here) and Show me (to) your garden

And my experiment with a short magic AU from a different of POV, because it was fun if a bit haphazard: Methods of Magic

I know this has gone around a bit already, but I'll tag @celestialmickey @abundanceofnots @iansfreckles @sweetbee78 @whatthebodygraspsnot @wehangout @sickness-health-all-that-shit just in case🥰

#I was gonna do the art one too but don't do it enough or have any techniques to speak of lol #well I might anyway we'll see😂#may all of us find the words we want in the new year!#tag game #writing stuff

12 notes · View notes

wicked-jade · 2 years

Note

For the shipping headcanons! 7 and 14 (SFW) and 13 (NSFW)?

Thanks for the asks! I'm going to assume these were all for Lawrusso. I'm going with CK era for these.

SFW 7: Would they go to the beach?

Absolutely! That's where they met, after all. Adult Daniel might be happier lounging by the pool at home with a martini in his hand, but Johnny still loves the beach. Even if Daniel lectures him the whole time about the importance of wearing sunscreen.

Beneath the gruff exterior, Johnny is totally the sort of romantic sap that would take Daniel for a sunset walk on the beach. But he would also get a good laugh out of trying to teach Daniel how to surf. "Where's your balance now, LaRusso?" 😂 He would have a lot of fun getting him back a bit with that. Daniel would be annoyed at first, but all the falls would ultimately be worth it just to see Johnny smiling and laughing, so carefree for once, his eyes sparkling like the water.

SFW 14: Who is the highest maintenance? Does the other mind?

Daniel. Daniel is by far the most high maintenance. Johnny doesn't mind though, mostly because it gives him loads of ammo to use against him. He delights in giving Daniel shit for his skincare regimen, his $100 face creams and his microdermabrasion treatments and the hair color to touch up his grays. He interceptions a message one day from Daniel's dermatologist, calling to reschedule his appointment for touchups on his fillers. Johnny lights up like a tree on Christmas morning, lmao.

He is less amused when Daniel starts trying to slather eye cream and moisturizer on his face. And he bitches about the cost of it all. That being said, Johnny does liberally make use of Daniel's expensive shampoo and conditioner, because he secretly likes how it smells and how shiny it makes his hair, lol. Eventually, he compromises on the whole skincare thing by at least wearing sunscreen after Daniel points out that it would be a pity for him to die of skin cancer now that they're finally together.

NSFW 13: Who’s loud? Who’s quiet? Does one try to make the other louder/quieter? How?

Johnny is the quiet one. At first, it's because he's self-conscious about the noises he makes. But he figures out pretty fast that when he's quiet, Daniel tries extra hard to make him moan, like each little whimper and whine he can punch out of him is it's own reward. So then it becomes a game, because if Daniel wants to hear him, Johnny's gonna make him work for it. 😂 Daniel gets to feel accomplished, and Johnny gets fucked extra hard. Everyone wins!

#ask game #lawrusso #headcanons

18 notes · View notes

mbrainspaz · 1 year

Text

I posted 3,907 times in 2022

That's 1,137 more posts than 2021!

565 posts created (14%)

3,342 posts reblogged (86%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mbrainspaz (I feel called out.)

@b1y7h3shifter

@dkpsyhog

@geeneelee

@curlsabroad

I tagged 2,865 of my posts in 2022

Only 27% of my posts had no tags

#tiktok - 154 posts

#funny video - 131 posts

#personal problems - 112 posts

#life of a texan peasant - 91 posts

#funny story - 78 posts

#funny post - 77 posts

#us politics - 75 posts

#gifs - 68 posts

#writer problems - 63 posts

#lmao - 62 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i will continue to enjoy my trash entertainment where everybody comes back to life and nothing makes sense and villains are inexplicably ho

My Top Posts in 2022:

Can people change?

Yes

Can you change them?

Nope!

85 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

I keep coming back lately to how f*cked up it was that my dad never let me mess anything up. Oh no, don’t climb out the window and sit on the roof--you’ll damage the shingles. So I put out beach towels and was extra careful, and he still got mad. Some of my best childhood memories were sitting out on that roof with my brother or my friends. Man f*ck the shingles. We sold that house a year later anyway. I waited years for him to fix the toilet paper roll holder in an upstairs bathroom--then one day just broke down and fixed it myself. It took me 5 minutes. And he was mad because I didn’t use the right kind of screws. F*ck the right screws. It looked perfect and it worked just fine, at least until I moved out. Now I’ve been out here living with a bunch of rogue ranchers and old engineers and it’s given me a whole new perspective on life. The first day I moved onto this ranch the owner got out an electric saw and cut a hole straight through a sewer pipe. I nearly panicked! Like--YOU CAN JUST DO THAT?!?! Just break something?! It was a horrible job! But BAM--it was done! And that sh*t changed my whole worldview. Last week I helped remodel a bridge with some spare logs and a pickaxe. I’ve sawed open the roof of my house and glued it back together. I’ve torn wall fixtures off and burned them in a bonfire.

GO AHEAD! BREAK IT. Wear down the shingles. Cut holes through the wall. Get mud on the sofa. Put stickers on your car. Break the world around you just a little instead of living in fear of losing resale value you rarely get back anyway. It’ll be fine.

198 notes - Posted April 7, 2022

How much did I want a horse?

A totally sane amount. 🫣

406 notes - Posted September 1, 2022

have I mentioned how hilarious it is to me when people ask me about my gender and I tell them I'm non-binary and they go "well I don't believe in all that." Cool beans pal. And I don't give a f*ck about your beliefs. Have a nice day. 😂

448 notes - Posted June 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

mom: It’s so crazy it’s like everyone around me is getting covid.

me: that’s why it’s spiking, mom.

mom: no like your dad was saying I’m the carrier, haha.

me: Well you might be. You were sick over christmas and everyone else had it after. [and I begged you to wear a mask but you went around kissing everybody instead]

mom: But my symptoms were really mild and allergy meds made mine go away.

me: allergy meds can treat symptoms. My regular ones have helped with covid too.

mom: huh. But your dad’s symptoms are totally different. He’s got a fever and he’s been throwing up. It’s really bad. Same with our friend from church.

me: Were they vaccinated?

mom: no.

me: THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE NOT VACCINATED.

mom: But your dad already had covid before the pandemic.

me: IT’S A DIFFERENT STRAIN MOM. PEOPLE CAN GET COVID MULTIPLE TIMES MOM. THAT’S WHAT THE VACCINE IS FOR MOM. THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN TELLING Y’ALL FOR TWO YEARS MOM.

mom: Well...

675 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #the longest tag 😂😂😂#tumblr drama #I knew tiktok was gonna top the charts

3 notes · View notes

qnewslgbtiqa · 4 months

Text

LGBTQIA+ New Year's Eve Celebrations across Australia

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/lgbtqia-new-years-eve-celebrations-across-australia/

LGBTQIA+ New Year's Eve Celebrations across Australia

Emerging from the Christmas food coma, the question on everyone’s lips is what to do on New Years? From fireworks to bush doofs, there are LGBQTIA+ New Year’s Eve events across Australia to cater to all members of the community.

NSW Events

Poof Doof NYE Party

Held at Arq, Poof Doof NYE has a killer lineup as well as a special appearance from Drag Race Down Under finalist Hollywould Star. Tickets are available to purchase online.

Eden Sydney NYE Party

A new event for Sydneysiders, Eden is the largest touring women’s party in the world. Catering to the lesbian, queer, non-binary and trans community- guests can expect queer female celebrity DJs, live music performances and show stopping dance performances.

NYE at Bernie’s Bar

The ultimate New Year’s Eve party destination is none other than Newcastle’s favourite gay bar! Brace yourself for an unforgettable night filled with an exciting lineup of performers, mesmerizing roaming acts, a dazzling Infinity light-up dance floor, delectable canape service, and so much more.

Bush Magik New Year’s Festival

Tropical Fruits know how to ring in a new year. Held at the Lismore Showgrounds, Bush Magik consists of three dance parties across the 30th (Camp party), 31st (NYE party) & the 1st (Recovery party), renowned Cabaret (NYE) the crooked ‘Next Day Cabaret’ (NYD) as well as an arts & cultural program with panels, workshops & activities. Camping is also available from 27th-4th for up to 1000 people.

Queensland Events

NYE at The Wickham

Was your 2023 heavenly or hellish? Either way, celebrate in epic style at The Wickham! Hosted by RuPaul’s Drag Race’s Art Simone and Karen from Finance, join us for a devilish evening of heavenly performances, DJs and campery! Also featuring performances by Shanny T-Bone, Asphyxia, Chocolate Boxx, Abril Latrene & Ivyy Monroe.

Runway: New Years Eve at Sporties

With three bars and a ‘Supermodel Spectacular’ starring an ensemble cast of Dame Liz Taylor, Gina Vanderpump, Katya Lou-King, Liz Anya, Magenta and more- Sporties is the perfect destination for your new years celebration. Limited tickets are available at the door.

Victoria Events

BONEZ Queer Party

BONEZ is Australia’s Alternative Queer party with Punk as F*ck Bands, Drag, Burlesque and DJs. Ring in 2024 at the Northcote Social Club in an inclusive and welcoming enviroment.

Sundaylicious NEW YEAR’S EVE

Sundaylicious, the renowned Sunday event that celebrates the LGBTQIA+ community, will be making its way to the majestic Northcote Theatre on New Year’s Eve. Ring in the new year with community in a colourful and joyful celebration of love and diversity. Doors open from 7:00pm.

South Australia Events

Love Island NYE at My Lover Cindi

Love Island invites you to shake off 2023 and dive into 2024 with friends and lovers. The rhythm of tropical house and all your club favourites from the year gone by heat up the dance floor for an unforgettable celebration of queer joy! Doors open at 7PM for sensory hour with general doors opening at 8PM. Dress code: tropical beach party and paradise creatures.

Silver and Chrome Party at Mary’s Poppin

Say goodbye to 2023, and hello to 2024 with a silver & chrome disco pop party unlike any other. With Adelaide’s best drag & DJs going hard all night to keep the vibes high & the mood right. Dress code: Think chrome couture, silver chains, metallic sparkles, holographic glitter- just be sure to shine brighter than anyone else on the dance floor.

Western Australia Events

NYE at The Flaming Galah

Freo’s first inclusive small bar is hosting a free event to ring in the new year- The Bowery Ball. A night to let your freak flags fly, boogie your shoes off to DJs Kenneltoe & Mama Cass and dress like your life depends on it. In honour of the legendary Leigh Bowery, let your imaginations run wild, get your faces painted for the gods and say goodbye to 2023 in style.

New Years Eve at The Court

Get ready to embark on a journey back to the future as we present the most epic event of the millennium – the Y2K Space Invaders! Brace yourselves for a cosmic collision of nostalgia, futuristic fun, and intergalactic adventures like never before.

Tasmania Events

Judy’s Ruby Slipper Ball

Coming to Altar, Judy’s Red Slipper Ball is ready to help you say goodbye to 2023. Brought to you by the iconic Pussay Poppins, bring your best Judys along for a night of queer communion and celebration.

Whatever the plans, have a safe and fabulous New Year’s Eve.

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

#new years eve

0 notes

spnyouresostupid · 8 months

Text

Season 4 Final Rankings

Listen to out wrap up here

Here is our Top 5!

5. The Rapture

Alex's Score: 9

Sarah’s Score: 9

Total Points: 71

So good I had to disrupt my whole rating system! I love this episode, I love Jimmy, and I love Misha. This was still so good on rewatch!

4. Lucifer Rising

Alex’s Score: 10

Sarah’s Score: 9

Total Points: 75

Supernatural proves that it does finales so well. It’s heartbreaking, exciting, and that cliff hanger!

3. Monster Movie

Alex’s Score: 9

Sarah’s Score: 10

Total Points: 83

Are you suprised this one is so high on our list? So are we! This episode was well shot, well acted, and just a great heartfelt homage to classic horror movies. When Supernatural can get the right balance of horror and comedy that might be when I love it the most. (Also it has one of my favorite Sam lines ever)

2. Lazurus Rising

Alex’s Score: 10

Sarah’s Score: 10

Total Points: 83

Do I even need to explain this one? Just as good as I remember and beats out Monster Movie because of Cas. This is another one that just hits the sweet spot of what this show can be.

And Finally....

1. On the Head of a Pin

Alex’s Score: 10

Sarah’s Score: 10

Total Points: 84

Man Supernatural really knows how to f*ck you up. I remembered this being good, but I was still kind of surprised at how much I liked it on rewatch. It’s tense, it’s heartbreaking, and reveals a lot of season long secrets. I honestly think this might be Supernatural at it’s best. I can’t sing the praises of this episode enough!

For the rest of the list:

15-22

6-14

And because I’m a Masochist, here are all 4 seasons ranked:

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

1. On the Head of a Pin

Season 4

2. Lazarus Rising

3. Monster Movie

4. Ghostfacers!

5. A Very Supernatural Christmas

6. Night Shifter

7. In My Time of Dying

8. What is and What Should Never Be

9. All Hell Breaks Loose Part 2

10. Faith

11. Lucifer Rising

12. No Rest for the Wicked

13. Something Wicked

14. Tall Tales

16. The Rapture

16. When the Levee Breaks

17. Jus in Bello

18. Home

19. Hunted

20. Yellow Fever

21. Mystery Spot

22. Devil's Trap

23. Bloodlust

24. Heaven and Hell

25. Skin

26. Hell House

27. Jump the Shark

28. The Kids Are Alright

29. In the Beginning

30. Bad Day at Black Rock

31. Sex and Violence

32. Crossroad Blues

33. Death Takes a Holiday

34. The Monster at the End

35. Hollywood Babylon

36. Scarecrow

37. It's a Terrible Life

38. Simon Said

39. Asylum

40. Windego

41. Folsom Prison Blues

42. Croatoan

43. After School Special

44. Provenance

45. Playthings

46. Dream a Little Dream of Me

47. The Benders

48. Everybody Loves a Clown

49. All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1

50. Criss Angel is a Douchebag

51. Born Under a Bad Sign

52. Are You There, God? It's Me Dean Winchester

53. Pilot

55. It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester

54. Wishful Thinking

56. Bedtime Stories

57. Phantom Traveler

58. Bloody Mary

59. Salvation

60. Dead in the Water

61. Nightmare

62. Roadkill

63. Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things

64. Red Sky at Morning

65. Family Remains

66. Houses of the Holy

67. Fresh Blood

68. Dead Man's Blood

69. The Usual Suspects

70. Hook Man

71. Long-Distance Call

72. No Exit

73. I Know What You Did Last Summer

74. Heart

75. The Magnificent Seven

76. Time is on My Side

77. Shadow

78. Malleus Malefixcarum

80. Metamorphosis

79. Bugs

81. Route 666

82. Sin City

#supernatural #listen to our podcast #dean winchester #season 4 #jensen ackles #my screencaps #spnyouresostupid #post mortem

0 notes

wiypt-writes · 3 years

Text

Real Life Tasks With Ransom Drysdale Masterlist

A collaboration with @sweater-daddiesdumbdork and @ohthankevans13

Mature themes throughout, please pay attention to individual warnings contained at the start of each piece.

Day 1- The Case of The Mysterious Shrinking Sweater Day 2- That’s Not Exactly Folgers In Your Cup Day 3- A Shock To The System Day 4- Pink To Make The Boys Wink Day 5- Anyone Can Change A Tire, Right? Day 6- Culinary Clusterf*ck Day 7- Screw This Day 8- It’s The Most Important Meal Of The Day. Day 9- Stuck On You Day 10- Shop Till You Drop Day 11- Where The Fuck Is The Top? Day 12- Duvet 1, Ransom 0 Day 13-Ironing Out The Kinks Day 14- There Is Only One Way To Load A Dishwasher Day 15- You Better Check Yourself Day 16- A Vicious Assault Day 17- Spawn Baby Has Needs Day 18- Toasted Day 19- Sparks Fly Day 20- A New Fashion Trend? Day 21- Foot In Mouth Day 22- National Lampoon Christmas Vacation Drysdale Style Day 23- Fuming Day 24- That’s A Wrap

#real life tasks with ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale fic

639 notes · View notes

what-is-your-plan-today · 3 years

Text

Real Life Tasks With Ransom Drysdale Masterlist

A collaboration with @sweater-daddiesdumbdork and @jennmurawski13

A Collection of 24 drabbles/one shots based upon everyone’s favourite sweater-wearing asshole.

Posting daily from now until Christmas eve.

Mature themes throughout, please pay attention to individual warnings contained at the start of each piece.

Day 1- The Case Of The Mysterious Shrinking Sweater. Day 2- That’s Not Exactly Folgers In Your Cup Day 3- A Shock To The System Day 4- Pink To Make The Boys Wink Day 5- Anyone Can Change A Tire, Right? Day 6- Culinary Clusterf*ck Day 7- Screw This Day 8- It’s The Most Important Meal Of The Day Day 9- Stuck On You Day 10- Shop Till You Drop Day 11- Where The Fuck Is The Top? Day 12- Duvet 1, Ransom-0 Day 13- Ironing Out The Kinks Day 14- There Is Only One Way To Load A Dishwasher Day 15- You Better Check Yourself Day 16- A Vicious Assault Day 17- Spawn Baby Has Needs Day 18- Toasted Day 19- Sparks Fly Day 20- A New Fashion Trend? Day 21- Foot In Mouth

#real life tasks with ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale fic #chris evans #chris evans characters

327 notes · View notes

jobean12-blog · 3 years

Text

HBC Home for the Holidays

*Indicates SMUT (18+ only please)

Day 1: Advent Calendar- Chocolate Secrets (Dad!Bucky x reader)

Day 2: Getting the Tree/Decorations- The Perfect Tree (Steve Rogers x reader)

Day 3: Decorating- Decorate with Kisses (Bucky x reader)

Day 4: Fireplace- Wrapped in Love (Hubby and Dad Bucky x reader)

Day 5: Greeting Cards- Special Delivery (Bucky x reader)

Day 6: Baking Cookies- Sweeter than Sugar * (dad and hubby Bucky x reader)

Day 7: Holiday Movies- Movie Night Under the Stars (Chris Beck x reader)

Day 8: Ice Skating- Miracle on Ice (Bucky x reader)

Day 9: Gingerbread House Decorating- Gingerbread Win (Steve Rogers x reader)

Day 10: Tree Lighting- All I want for Christmas (Bucky x reader)

Day 11: Hanukkah- Dreidel (Dad!bucky x reader)

Day 12: Elf on the Shelf- I Solemnly Swear that I am Up to No Good (Loki x reader)

Day 13: Favorite Holiday Recipe- Sweet Dreams (Bucky x reader)

Day 14: Picture with Santa- Make my Wish come True * (Bucky x reader)

Day 15: Holiday Music- Candy Cane Licks * (Bucky x reader)

Day 16: Homemade Gifts- Tempting Taste (Steve Rogers x reader)

Day 17: Holiday Shopping- The Winning Hand * (Bucky x reader)

Day 18: Holiday Office Party- Get the Party Started * (Bucky x reader)

Day 19: Ugly Holiday Sweaters- Festive Tickles (Steve Rogers x reader)

Day 20: Gift Wrapping- A Magic Touch (Loki x reader)

Day 21: Winter Solstice- Once Upon a Winter Solstice (destroyer!chris x reader)

Day 22: Secret Santa- Not So Secret (Bucky x reader)

Day 23: Driving/walking to look at Decorations- Love and Lights (Charles Blackwood x reader)

Day 24: Christmas Eve- Go the F*ck to Sleep! (dad and hubby Bucky x reader)

Day 25: Christmas- Little Doll (dad and hubby Bucky x reader)

Day 26: Kwanzaa/Boxing Day- A Flurry of Kindess (Bucky x reader)

Day 27: Regifting- The Gift that Keeps on Giving *(Charles Blackwood x reader)

Day 28: Donating/Volunteering- Best Friends (Bucky x reader and Alpine)

Day 29: Playing in the Snow- Winter Wonderland (dad and hubby Bucky x reader)

Day 30: Hot Chocolate- Sweet Cravings * (Andy Barber x reader)

Day 31: New Year’s Eve- Yours at Midnight * (Bucky x reader)

Jan 1: New Year’s Resolutions (bonus day)- Hold on for Life (Bucky x reader)

210 notes · View notes

mew-light · 2 years

Text

I woke up an 7 am today, on my own, not because of my alarm.

I put on an amazing outfit, did my hair and make up, I'm even wearing heels right now!

I've been making up Christmas Jingles, and I'm going to continue doing it! Not because I'm excited about Christmas but because IT'S FREAKING BAD BUDDY FRIGAY AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME!

PS. My fave Jingle for now is, cue Jingle Bells!

FRIGAY IS HERE

FRIGAY IS FINALLY HEREEEE

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OFF WORK AND WATCH BAD BUDDY TODAY HEY!

FRIGAY IS HERE

FRIGAY IS FINALLY HEREEEE

F*CK CHRISTMAS AND EVERYONE BAD BUDDY DAY IS HEREE~~

(I can continue but it gets too personal from here oops)

#bad buddy #ohmnanon #ohm pawat #nanon korapat #patpran #pranpat #pat #pran #christmas #jingle bells

14 notes · View notes

nuxcia · 3 years

Text

RE8 Masterlist

[Last update : 01/04/2023]

Fanarts

- 2022 -

Come with me (Karl Heisenberg) Hot in here (Karl Heisenberg) First anniversary (Heisenberg, Dimitrescu, Moreau, Beneviento)

- 2021 -

Christmas 2021 (Karl Heisenberg) Jack-O Challenge (Karl Heisenberg) The man and the machine (Karl Heisenberg)

___________________________

Crossover DMC x RE

- 2022 -

Happy new year 2022

- 2021 -

AU : Viking (Karl Heisenberg & Dante Sparda) More than buddies (Karl Heisenberg x Dante Sparda) Two saviors (Karl Heisenberg & Dante Sparda) Arm wrestling (color - Karl Heisenberg & Dante Sparda) Arm wrestling (Karl Heisenberg & Dante Sparda)

The lords and the demons (RE8 x DMC)

Cute manthing (Dimitrescu Daugthers & Nero Sparda) Taking care (Donna Beneviento & Vergil Sparda) Galant encounter (Lady Dimitrescu & V) That big ! (Karl Heisenberg & Dante Sparda) Best buddies (Karl Heisenberg & Dante Sparda)

___________________________

Original Character x Canon Character

Haven Frost aka Fenrir (Original Character)

A kiss in the night (Karl Heisenberg x OC) Moonrust kiss (Karl Heisenberg x OC) Sweet kiss (Karl Heisenberg x OC) Watch him sleep... (Karl Heisenberg x OC) By the river... (Karl Heisenberg x OC) Fun time (Karl Heisenberg x OC)

Under the tree (Karl Heisenberg x OC) Over the desk (Karl Heisenberg x OC) Having fun (NSFW - Karl Heisenberg x OC) Steamy session (NSFW - Karl Heisenberg x OC) The man within (Karl Heisenberg x OC) Going for a smoke (Chris Redfield & OC)

___________________________

3D Renders

The snake's whispers (Karl Heisenberg & Mother Miranda) The prodigy son (Karl Heisenberg & Mother Miranda) WintersBerg (Karl Heisenberg & Ethan Winters) Two badass uncles (Karl Heisenberg & Dante Sparda) Battle without honor or humanity (Karl Heisenberg & Dante Sparda) A smoke (Karl Heisenberg) Come little children (Mother Miranda) Cavern (Karl Heisenberg) Touch (Chris Redfield) Night smoke (Karl Heisenberg) We meet again (Karl Heisenberg) Smoke and cigar (Karl Heisenberg)

___________________________

Art Series

KINKTOBER 21

DAY 1 : Dom/Sub (Dante x OC)

DAY 2 : Masturbation (Heisenberg)

DAY 3 : Teasing (Dante x OC)

DAY 4 : Blowjob (Heisenberg x Winters

DAY 5 : Blindfold (Heisenberg x OC)

DAY 6 : Orgasm Denial (Dante x OC)

DAY 7 : 69 (Heisenberg x OC)

DAY 8 : Shower Sex (Dante x OC)

DAY 9 : Shibari (OC)

DAY 10 : Size Difference (Dante & Heisenberg)

DAY 11: Biting (Dante x OC)

DAY 12 : Tied Up (Heisenberg)

DAY 13 : Collar (Heisenberg)

DAY 14 : Threesome (Vergil x OC x Dante)

DAY 15 : Thigh F*ck (Heisenberg x OC)

DAY 16 : Public Sex (Dante x OC)

DAY 17 : Cage (Heisenberg)

DAY 18 : Rain Kiss (Dante x OC)

DAY 19 : Cunniling*s (Heisenberg x OC)

DAY 20 : Phone S*x (Dante)

DAY 21 : Mirror (Heisenberg)

DAY 22 : Lingerie (Dante)

DAY 23 : Feral (Heisenberg x OC)

DAY 24 : Demon (Dante x OC)

DAY 25 : Wax Play (Heisenberg x OC)

DAY 26 : Dirty Talk (Dante x OC)

DAY 27 : Choking (Heisenberg x OC)

DAY 28 : Caught (Dante x OC)

DAY 29 : S*xtoy (Heisenberg x OC)

DAY 30 : Lap Dance (Dante x OC)

DAY 31 : Foursome (Dante x Heisenberg x OCs)

___________________________

Anime Screenshots

Valentine's Day 2022 (Dante, Heisenberg, Reaver)

Terror as a name... (Karl Heisenberg x OC) Come here (Karl Heisenberg) A little cold ? (Karl Heisenberg) Werewolf (Karl Heisenberg) Time to run ! (Karl Heisenberg) Die... manthing (Alcina Dimitrescu) Little secret (Karl Heisenberg)

___________________________

Comics

You are mine.

Spicy private time

Meeting #1 Meeting #2

26 notes · View notes