#chewing gum season 2

[cieric-of-chaos]

Sukuna is like one of those Orange Cat who would bite you for no reason

#he so silly #i wanna chew him like a bubble gum... #crumpled him like a paper #ryomen sukuna #jjk spoilers #Poor yujii.... #jujutsu kaisen #jjk season 2 #sukuna #itadori yuji #yuji

[chickentunasalad566]

I think the worst day of my life was when I started liking connor from htgawm

#whats that post where its like 'gay people saying a show title naming some random letters' #htgawm #hot gawm #me when i chew on hot gum in a ny accent #connor walsh #i was a connor hater for 2 seasons but im changed now #text post

[adobe-outdesign]

Nigel: The Muppets' Most Interesting Uninteresting Character

(This was supposed to be a fun little post about an obscure Muppet character but now I fell down a hole doing too much research and sunk cost fallacy won't let me live it down unless I include all of the useless information I've learned so enjoy knowing more about this character than you ever have or ever will want to know)

Nigel was created to be the host of the Muppet Show's Sex and Violence pilot instead of Kermit (who only appears in the pilot for like 30 seconds)

He was originally puppeteered by Jim Henson himself, giving him a vaguely Kermit-esq voice initially

Nigel Voice Count: 1

Nigel is a yellow... something. You’d assume he’s just a stylized human Muppet but in S4E18 Sam refers to him as a “thing”

He actually looks near-identical to a Fraggle minus the tail. I don’t know what to do with this information

Nigel was diagnosed with terminal Boring Personality disease due to the following attributes:

He’s very meek. Unlike Kermit, who will freak out and tell people they suck to their faces, Nigel raises his voice one (1) time and mostly relies on Sam the Eagle and Crazy Harry to deal with the assorted chaos

His face is flexible like Kermit’s, but he has permanently partially-lidded eyes that leave him looking exhausted in every scene he’s in

He’s generally unenthusiastic and seems like he wants to go home constantly

Jim Henson: The Works describes him as "lacking in spunk and charisma," which is hilariously cruel yet 100% accurate

What’s surprising at this point is that instead of scrapping him, he instead took on the role of orchestra conductor on the show proper, where he proceeds to do almost nothing for five seasons

The Muppets Character Encyclopedia actually provides a canon reason for this: Nigel lost the job of host due to his “shy manner”, and Kermit, feeling bad for replacing him, gave him his new job

He can technically be seen in basically every episode during the theme song, but aside from that, he often pops up in the chorus during songs

Which is funny when you consider he should be in the pit Doing His Job during those sequences

A quick list of his more important (if you can even call them that) appearances:

S1E2: He has Zoot play a song called “Sax and Violence” b/c pilot references

It’s actually implied the Mayhem falls under his jurisdiction as he threatens to fire Zoot, but this never comes up again

S1E24: Playing the part of a library patron noisily chewing gum (despite not having teeth. idk you figure it out). This one’s only notable because he’s wearing the same outfit from the pilot

S3E16: Nigel’s eyelids are not connected to the rest of his body and he’s facing backwards through the entire backstage segment so you’re uncomfortably aware of this

S1E23 has Floyd complaining that the theme song is cringe(TM), at which point it’s casually revealed that Nigel wrote it?? how is this character so important and unimportant at the exact same time

If you’ve seen this episode and aren’t deaf you might have noticed he has a completely different voice here. This is because John Lovelady has taken over as his puppeteer, presumably because Jim was busy Running The Entire Show

Nigel Voice Count: 2

Nigel has a talent for whistling, which is shown off in S2E18 during a performance with Floyd (this is the only time he comes on stage to perform that isn’t with a crowd)

He shows this off again in S4E18 to participate in the age-old sport of Annoying Sam the Eagle backstage

As of the 2011 movie Walter takes over as the show’s resident whistler because Nigel isn’t allowed to have character traits

He briefly shows up during the credits of The Muppet Movie (now puppeteered by Dave Goelz). Because of this, in the UK version of the end credits, he has another completely different voice

Nigel Voice Count: 3

After a brief background appearance in The Jim Henson Hour (S1E12), Nigel proceeded to completely disappear for 20 years

I’m guessing the reason was that his puppet was becoming unusable. The foam used for the muppets disintegrates over time, and his puppet was ~15 years old at this point

Things were particularly bleak for him in the 90s because Muppets Tonight came out with a new unrelated TV director character named... Nigel. Because Jim had passed away at this point and I think everyone working on the show literally Forgot they already had a character named that

Not that it would be that big of a problem, seeing as the chances of yellow Nigel returning were bleak. who was gonna spend time and money rebuilding an incredibly minor background character like him

TRICK QUESTION because he was rebuilt for The Muppets (2011), which is pretty amazing when you consider that he does Nothing during this movie

The new puppet looks pretty similar to the old one. I think the face is a bit rounder/more structured but I could also be losing my mind

(Side note: shoutout to whoever decided to give him a scarf in this scene. that’s such an unnecessary detail)

What’s great is that now that the puppet’s been rebuilt he’s shown up in a lot of stuff because they have no reason not to include him. Some of the more notable examples include:

The music video for OK Go’s cover of the theme song (which I certainly hope he would show up in I mean. it’s his song)

In the live shows (The Muppets Take the Bowl and The Muppets Take the O2) there’s a parade of overlooked characters, which includes Nigel. I just find it funny that:

A) The writers fully acknowledge that he’s King of the Background Characters

B) The in-universe implication that Kermit was like “no one knows who you are, wanna be in a parade celebrating that fact” and Nigel was like “okay”

His most recent appearance was in Muppets Haunted Mansion, where he’s dead (don’t worry about it). More importantly, he gets an entire shot to himself conducting some skulls, which I think is the first time the camera’s been focused solely on him in literally 40 years. Good job, buddy!

Here’s some other misc appearances that I couldn’t fit elsewhere:

He appears alongside Jim and a few other Muppets in a 1977 commercial for American Express (once again wearing his pilot outfit), which is particularly strange considering he’s the only character there that used to be puppeteered by Jim

In 2010 he got a somewhat important role in the first issue of Muppet Sherlock Holmes, playing the part of a butler suspected of poisoning the head of the house

He gets one whole page in The Muppets Character Encyclopedia from 2014 (right next to other Nigel). In addition to the aforementioned info bridging the gap between the pilot and the show proper, it also states that he’s susceptible to hypnosis and he trained at the Tommy Newsom Academy for Music and Charisma

In terms of future projects: there is both a Jim Henson biopic and documentary coming in the future (side note: why???), so it’s possible he might be discussed briefly in one of those

I have no thesis statement or reason for writing this, but I guess I’ll close out by saying that I find it fascinating that a failed main character from a pilot episode is still appearing in recent Muppet productions but solely as a background character. I hope that in 2073 I can put on some Muppet media and Nigel will still be there still doing absolutely nothing

thanks for coming to my TED talk

#muppets #the muppets #the muppet show #the muppets 2011 #nigel #outdesign posts things #long post #nigel is like The character to throw in a scene if you want to show you know your stuff #because all the hardcore fans will be like 'omg nigel' without fail every time while regular fans literally won't even notice him #tumblr stop removing my sub bullets you're making my rambly incoherent posts look even more incoherent #greatest hits

[kerubimcrepin]

Dofus: The Production - reviewing the artbook

This post won't go too deep in detail, it's just my commentary on the artbook — but the next (or, well, one after the next), post will be me doing some actual research outside of it. I recommend you to buy the artbook, and go see its contents for yourself, if you're curious about it. (or download it. It's been scanned to hell and back...)

God, this makes me deranged and insane. Even being baby does not stop Kerubim from loving Joris's jokes... I'm insane...

This part of the artbook has always scared me because like... Does he kill people in Dofus 2, Tot?. Does he.?

Epic events is a funny way to refer to this movie's unending barrage of traumatic events, but man, we were kinda robbed of cool draconic winged Joris. That's sad.

I won't include too much art from the artbook if I can help it, but I wanted to report that this is a very good art and theres a lot of love and um and they love each other and um and [CAR CRASH] [GLASS SHATTERING] ‘GOOD LORD!’ [GENERAL COMMOTION] [BABY CRYING] ‘WAAAAH WAAAAH’ [YELLING] [POLICE SIRENS] WEEWOO WEEWOO [HELICOPTERS] ‘WE’RE REPORTING LIVE-‘ [EXPLOSION] ‘MY LEG… MY LEG…’

I wish I knew what the fuck Tot meant by this. However, knowing that Pupuce is Kerubim's pet, who just liked her owner's kid more than her owner, has fueled some of my headcanons for years and years:

This version of his armour matches the one we could see in the Dofus Manga. :)

I find it quite fascinating that at one point, it was considered for Julith to be an osamodas huppermage, considering it was theorized for some time that Joris might be an osamodas.

I wouldn't call her a tender mother, but eh. She's more of a... "very loving yet despaired mother who doesn't even know her son" mother. A "wants to get back the past which will never return to the point of putting her son into the torture nexus" mother. A "has love in her that is so mentally disturbed" mother. AND I LOVE HER FOR IT!!

I know that her being an alcoholic is a retcon that Dessous did, but its such a good one. I think it's a good show of her decade of slow slippage of sanity. Comic retcons win over Tot's ideas for all Joris-related media once again.

This post was made by "I love Kerubim's dead family from Dofus Heroes Kerubim and Bakara Alcoholism Lore from Dessous de Dofus" gang.

These two huppermages from the movie's concept art were reused in season 4 of Wakfu. Though it would be easier to say what in season 4 of Wakfu isn't reused stuff considering the "shoestring and a piece of chewed gum" budget it was made on...

God, him petting a pupuce is the most important part of the artbook, save for perhaps...

THE KHAN & THE RED-LIGHT DISTRICT & JORIS UNDERAGE DRINKING SCENE

The fact that this was cut is the biggest personal tragedy of my entire life, and I am NOT joking.

Apparently, in this tavern, we were supposed to learn more of his backstory, — like how his father was a gobbowler, but sadly (or happily, if you really hate Khan) it was cut.

But listen. Khan would go to some sexworkers to stare at them and do nothing. He's that much of a loser. He would take a 10yo as his drinking buddy.

This is where my headcanon that he buys Joris booze post-movie comes from, btw.

Compared to the movie's exaggerated visions of Kerubim crying, these images feel like something Joris would remember seeing in real life, something he'd want to avoid.

It feels more real, than just his panicked visions.

#moviehistory #ro liveblogs dofus #dofus #wakfu #krosmoz

[fabseg-reader]

Miraculous fanart: Chloebug Date + Miraculous rewriting: Chloenette AU (Season 1)

I publish some new Chloenette images.

It's the sequel of my previous post

Season 2 rewrite

Time for the rewriting !

The Story and its changes:

Season 1:

Origins/Stoneheart:

Hawkmoth begins his villainous actions.

Marinette rescues Master Fu. At the Françoise Dupont school, she seats with Alya and eventually befriends with her.

Akumatized Ivan (Stoneheart) tracks down down Kim for revenge.

Marinette and Adrien meet their kwamis (Tikki and Plagg). They become Ladybug and Cat Noir.

After the first battle, Marinette thinks about to secretly give the Ladybug earrings to someone but hesitates between Alya, Sabrina and Chloé.

When Marinette and Adrien meet first time, there isn't any chewing-gum incident. Instead of, Chloé just roasts Marinette and Alya (in Chloé's mind, she imagined Marinette and Alya as a potential date: Ridiculous !). Adrien is uncomfortable about the blondie's behavior.

Adrien befriends with Nino who learns him to be friends with real honest people.

Stoneheart comes back. He kidnaps Mylène and Chloé. The latter openly mocks the Myvan (Mylène + Ivan) ship as she already laughed of Ivan being a "monster".

Stoneheart throws out Chloé from the Eiffel Tower. Meanwhile, Marinette, who becomes Ladybug again, saves Chloé in extremis.

Hawkmoth publicly introduces himself to Parisians and claims the Ladybug's and Cat Noir's miraculouses.

The two heroes deakumatize Ivan. They save Ivan and Mylène of their fall.

Adrien/Cat Noir develops a love crush on Ladybug.

After the Stoneheart's second incident, Marinette and Alya steal Chloé's and Sabrina's seats in class. In this AU, Marinette stands up against Chloé and convinces the latter to sit at the desk of the first rank (the Chloé's and Sabrina's initial seats). Chloé accepts these terms, she can see Adrien/Adrikins at her left.

The umbrella scene happens, Adrien tells to Marinette his life before his first day at Françoise Dupont school. Effectively, Marinette begins to have feelings on Adrien. She falls in love with him (same situation in canon but without the Derision trauma but she's just: Shy !).

In same time, Chloé expresses thanks to Ladybug on social media. Due to events, she develops a crush on Ladybug and tries to forget Marinette. Meanwhile, the blondie is still confused between the bakery girl and Adrikins.

The Bubbler:

Marinette tries to offer her blue scarf to Adrien for his birthday (same way as in canon).

When Chloé comes to wish happy birthday to Adrien, she doesn't hustle Marinette.

Nino is akumatized into The Bubbler, sends all adults to the sky (except Gabriel Hawkmoth) and forces all the teenage people from Paris to celebrate Adrien's birthday in a form of a "party".

In this AU, Chloé offers to Marinette a dance but the latter politely declines because she must go to put the post-it on the gift. Chloé layer dances with Adrien anyway.

Ladybug properly interupts the Bubbler's party (no jealousy crisis like there was in canon).

Ladybug and Cat Noir save the day by deakumatizing Nino.

The next day, Adrien wears the scarf and he believes it's his father who offered it to him. That surprises Marinette when he tells thar to her, Alya ans Nino but she chooses to not reveal herself about the scarf.

Alya comforts Mari. Mari comforts Chloé (the latter was angry about having her gift get delayed).

Mr Pigeon:

The Design contest happens. The major difference is Chloé doesn't try to copy Marinette's designs. Instead of that, she makes Sabrina to create the bowler hat for service.

Sabrina's Chloé's hat could have yellow/golden colours.

But Marinette eventually wins the contest with her feather-themed hat. She is even praised by Gabriel Agreste and Adrien.

The battle against Mr Pigeon happens. No modification of the canon.

Lady Wifi:

Alya discovers Chloé has got a yo-yo in her bag. She believes she is Ladybug.

With the help of Nino, she tries to inspect Chloé's locker. She is eventually busted.

Chloé fires Alya causes the expellment of Alya out of the school by blackmailing Mr Damocles.

In this AU, Chloé rids off a rival ridiculous but 'nuisible' girl while Sabrina feels guilty about Alya's expellment (she recognizes in discretion Chloé's Mr Damocles decision is too excessive).

Lady Wifi events are happening like in canon. But Ladybug finds out Chloé is responsible of the Alya's expellment and takes more seriously the bad action the blondie had committed.

After the battle, Ladybug "reconciles" Chloé and Alya. The Ladyblog reporter eventually reintegres Françoise Dupont school.

Alya excludes Chloé of her list of people suspected to be Ladybug, recognizing her error.

At the end, there is a line of Alya to Marinette:

Ladybug is too kind. She could never bully or expell schoolmates like Chloé does it.

That makes Marinette blushing and having fun.

Pixelator:

Same story than the canon.

Jagged Stone comes to the Grand Hôtel with his assistant Penny and his crocodile Fang.

Vincent Aza, a fan, stalks Jagged for selfies. The fan is eventually expelled out of the Hôtel.

In this AU, when Marinette quits the Hotel for going at home to make glasses Jagged recquires, Chloé just says to the bluenette with a sarcastical tone:

Good Luck, Dupain-Cheng ! 😘

Pixelator commits his photo-carnage (he sends his targets/victims in his white boards from his house) at the Grand Hôtel and at the Arc-De-Triomphe (still identical story to the canon).

Ladybug rescues Jagged. She confronts Pixelator. Adrien and Chloé are photo-carnaged and later freed.

With the help of Cat Noir, Jagged (and the unawaited help of Chloé), Ladybug manages to neutralize Pixelator and deakumatize him.

Jagged receives his Eiffel Tower-themed glasses from Marinette. He later invites the entire Miraclass to his concert (Chloé included).

Marinette, Adrien, Alya, Nino, and Chloé (+ Sabrina) come to the Jagged Stone concert as VIPs.

Chloé goes to the concert only because Marinette and Adrien are here (she still prefers XY Roth to Jagged).

Darkblade:

Class representative election happens.

Marinette runs for class representative as candidate.

In this AU, Chloé talks with Marinette and requests to her explanations about her surprising candidacy (it was Chloé who was the class representative of her class in previous grades in every year).

Marinette already knows Chloé is blackmailing her classmates to prevent them to run to the election. But this time, she maintains her candidacy (due to Ladybug's influence(herself lol !) and Tikki's advices).

Chloé eventually sends Sabrina to discover Marinette's "dark" secrets at the Dupain-Cheng bakery. Resigned, Sabrina executes her "bestie"'s order (she is aware she is going to steal her 'formerly' friend).

Chloé organisates a Jagged Stone's autograph seance at thé Mairie of Paris and invites all her classmates for buy their votes.

Sabrina joins Chloé with the secret diary but her hand is consequently trapped in the box. Because of that, she expresses to the blondie she regrets her act.

In this AU, Chloé's blackmailing towards Marinette takes the form of a 'negociation': To improve Marinette's image at the school by letting Chloé win the election in exchange of get the stolen diary back.

The battle against Darkblade/Armand D'Argencourt happens. Ladybug and Cat Noir save the day again.

After the battle, the Chloé's blackmailing attempt is exposed. There is Marinette's speech about voting for better ideas.

Chloé openly retires her candidacy with humility.

Marinette becomes the class president. Alya is her deputy.

Chloé will pretend to people she had let Marinette win for save her own reputation (because she wants to preserve her friendship with Adrien too).

Dark Cupid:

Marinette (helped by Alya) tries to confess her love to Adrien. She finds the Adrien's unfinished love letter (same way as in canon).

Chloé, in her moment, tricks Adrien with a "just cause" thing for make him to sign an autograph on the poster.

So she can laugh at the girls from the Adrien fan-club.

In this AU, Kim tries to confess her admiration toward Chloé (the common point they have is the taste for pranks). That doesn't mean he doesn't try to date her. He is already in couple with Ondine.

Chloé, of course, declines the Kim's "love confession" (even if she does it less cruelly) . That causes the latter's akumatization.

The battle with Dark Cupid is happening (identically to the canon).

The Ladybug-Cat Noir Kiss scene happens too. The Adrien poster vandalism too.

Chloé borrows some money to his dad for donate to charity associations.

His dad is the mayor and at the same time he has a fiscal bank account for his family (he can spoil his wife and his daughter in money and luxurious gifts for satisfy their whims 💰💵💸).

She makes her donations very fast for hide the incident of the vandalized poster (Sabrina causes it under the Dark Cupid influence).

Kim offers his Valentine-themed gift to Ondine.

In parallel, Marinette/Ladybug discretly sends the love letter back to Adrien. The latter recognizes his letter and sees out someone has already answered to his confession. That makes him blush ans he thinks Ladybug could be the answerer.

In parallel again, Chloé think about offer a Valentine-themed gift for Ladybug but nobody knows the latter's real identity.

So the blondie furtively puts her gift in the locker of the first person she thought about: Marinette.

Marinette blushes when she discovers it. Meanwhile, the gift hasn't any name: It's anonymous.

She just guesses Chloé can be the giver. The gift contains a poem with a line: When I see you, I feel utterly ridiculous while you're miraculous. 💗

Horrificator:

Same story than the canon. The Miraclass make a short horror film.

There are minor changes for this AU.

Chloé afraids Mylène (that causing the latter's akumatization into Horrificator).

Chloé answers to everyone it was just a joke: she doesn't realizes the scale of her prank. That angers Ivan. Marinette and Adrien object her. Even Kim feels disappointed about the blondie's joke: Not cool !

When Marinette sends Chloé to search an nursery uniform for the movie, the latter leaves the classroom with Sabrina, Kim and Max.

In this AU, Chloé makes more time to realize Marinette has sent her far from the movie shoot.

Horrificator kidnaps Chloé, Kim and Max. Only Sabrina manages to escape.

The Marinette-Adrien kiss moment is interupted by Sabrina who warns the entire class about Horrificator.

Globally, the battle between Ladybug, Cat Noir, the Miraclass and Horrificator happens in a similar way to the canon. The method used to defeat and deakumatize Horrificator is the same method as in canon: a mini-concert.

After the battle, the movie is presented to the mayor (Chloé's Daddy): of course, it was rejected.

Chloé expresses a bit of apologies to Mylène and Ivan in présence of Marinette ans Adrien. She does it by fearing any possible comeback of Horrificator or Stoneheart.

Evillustrator:

Chloé laughs at Nathaniel about his love crush on Marinette in presence of the entire class. The blondie even briefly plays with his sketchbook.

In this AU, the blondie roasts the artist. Her line to Nathaniel:

You're too ridiculous. Too utterly ridiculous for having Dupain-Cheng as your lover.

Marinette is embarrassed by hearing Chloé speak like that. So the bakery girl feels compassion for Nathaniel.

The latter boy is akumatized into Evillustrator and he seeks revenge against Chloé in reason of the humiliation she has done to him.

Mrs Mendeleiev composes the groups of students of the class.

The known groups of three are: Adrien, Nino and Alya and Marinette, Chloé and Sabrina.

In this AU, Marinette and Chloé are used to be friends (or to be "friends"). So the bakery girl reluctantly accepts to work with the blondie. But she is less impacted than she is in the canon.

Knowing Sabrina, Marinette eventually teams up with her for the physics report. The two schoolmates work together early before Chloé joins them at the library.

Sabrina berates Chloé like she berates her in canon: I'm not your slave, Chloé !

Evillustrator suddenly comes to pertubate their time by summoning a giant hairdryer scarying Chloé.

The events with Evillustrator happen.

Ladybug and Cat Noir ask questions to Chloé about Evillustrator like in canon.

Marinette later sees Evillustrator coming at her home. She recognizes him as Nathaniel. The artist invites her to his private birthday. She accepts his invitation with the request of not harming Chloé.

Sabrina doesn't come to Marinette's home because the two girls were already well advanced in the schoolwork.

In this AU, Sabrina calls her just for express her worries toward her after the Evillustrator assault. So she doesn't berate Marinette (No comparison with Chloé).

The Evillustrator date happens. Cat Noir and Marinette ambush the akumatized supervillain but it fails.

Later, Ladybug and Cat Noir finally manage to defeat/deakumatize him in the Chloé's bedroom.

Aftermath: When Alya interviewes Chloé for the Ladyblog, the latter expresses her thanks to Ladybug for protecting her during the late night (instead of blaming the two heroes of trashing her bedroom as in canon).

Marinette and Adrien discuss together about Cat Noir (in the same way as in canon).

Chloé and Sabrina reconcile each other.

Nathaniel begins to work a comic about Ladybug. He comes to the art room joining his friend Alix.

Rogercop:

Plagg seeks cheese in the Chloé's bag and he accidentally gets his head stuck in the bracelet.

Chloé sees her bracelet has disappeared from her bag.

Adrien sees Plagg with the bracelet rolling to his feet.

In this AU (I repeatly write these words for more tell the divergence), Chloé doesn't accuse Marinette (not directly). Meanwhile, she publicly says there is a thief among them.

Agent Roger (Sabrina's dad) calls Chloé back with his moral quote: Every citizen is innocent until proven guilty.

But the mayor Bourgeois orders to Roger to search all the people from the classroom. Roger objects: The mayor's order breaks the law. Then the mayor fires the policeman.

The next scenes happen: Roger's akumatization into Rogercop, the debate about finding the "thief" in the classroom, Adrien frees Plagg from the bracelet, the battle against the Akuma.

Rogercop uses Chloé as hostage for make André Bourgeois leave his mayor fonctions.

Ladybug and Cat Noir are designated outlaws by Rogercop.

The two heroes defeat and deakumatize the villain.

Cat Noir puts the bracelet back in the Chloé's bag (that makes everyone believe the bracelet was just misplaced).

Mayor rehabilitates Roger in his policeman title (he even promotes him as lieutenant).

In the end from this AU, Chloé could publicly say she is sorry for hastly making accusations at the school (in front of Ladybug).

Timebreaker

Same story than the canon.

Alix receives, for her birthday (15 years old), a special gift from his father: The Bunny Miraculous A watch "from her ancestor".

Kim (on foot) and Alix (on skates) challenge each other in a race at the Trocadéro. The Miraclass comes as spectators.

Difference with the canon: When Chloé holds the Alix's watch, Marinette and Adrien, who hold the banner, say to her to return it. Instead of mocking Alix's watch (as in canon), Chloé would say:

Relax, Dupain-Cheng, Adrikins and losers. I just want to know how much does this watch cost.

Chloé eventually opens the watch and screams about seeing an hologram from the object. She accidentally destroy the watch (same way as in canon).

Alix is akumatized into Timebreaker and the Time massacre begins.

Of course, Timebreaker absorbs Cat Noir's energy causing his erasure. So she travels to the past (with Ladybug who is following her), to the moment from some minutes ago for saving her watch.

Like in canon, The presence of Ladybug and Timebreaker cause the watch's crushing in this new timeline. Alternate Alix is akumatized too.

Ladybug, Cat Noir and the Ladybug from the alternate timeline fight against TWO Timebreakers.

The end of battle is the same: Timebreakers are defeated. The world and its timeline are returned back to normal (Thanks to Lucky CharmS). The Alix's is even fully restored.

Reflekta

It's Photograph Day at the Françoise Dupont school. Juleka has a picture-day "curse" on her.

In this AU, Juleka's akumatization factor will be a bit of different: No one blocks her in the bathroom with a chair. She just laments about her cursed life too long that she misses the photo shoot.

Despite Rose's recomfort, Juleka is eventually akumatized into Reflekta.

While this moment, Marinette goes to delete the school picture in the Damocles' office but Chloé and Sabrina bust her. In this situation, Marinette's office violation can conduct to her expellment.

Sabrina can feel ashamed to see Marinette violating school rules. Meanwhile Chloé gives to the bakery girl a chance of forget the crime: She offers to Dupain-Cheng to give up the idea of delete the picture in exchange .

Because of the fact the three girls hanged out together in the past from this AU, Marinette takes a better idea: To offer to Chloé and Sabrina a deal.

Marinette's deal talks about to take a better school photography than the actual picture.

Convicted, Chloé accepts the deal and orders to Sabrina to keep secret the intrusion. A win-win.

When the three girls (the "trio") leave the office, they confront Reflekta. The akuma had already a lot of students and Cat Noir into Reflektas. So she turns Chloé and Sabrina into Reflektas too (except Marinette who manages to escape).

Ladybug and a Reflekta-ed Cat Noir fight Reflekta together. The battle happens identically to the canon until the Juleka's deakumatization and the aftermath.

After the incident, the Miraclass makes a photo group together at the park.

And Juleka is included. That ends the photo "curse".

Chloé and Sabrina are present in the new picture.

The picture in this AU be like (read my post for see the difference):

Princess Fragrance

Same story than the canon. Prince Ali comes to Paris.

Chloé finds out a red "plushie": it's Tikki sick. Marinette had accidentally lost her kwami while she was with Adrien.

In this AU, when Rose requests Chloé to send her letter to the Prince Ali, Chloé acts as her own semi-bully.

Her line to Rose:

I have no time with your fish funk, Cinderella ! It's a day between rich people. No peasants allowed.

A disgusted Chloé just passively throws the letter she had comprimed into a ball and throws it like a trash before leaving the place in limousine.

Rose is eventually akumatized into Princess Fragrance.

Marinette retrieves back Tikki. She meets Master Fu a "pet healer" who heals Tikki.

Cat Noir fights Princess Fragrance, evacuates Prince Ali, the latter's chaperone and Chloé.

Meanwhile, Cat Noir is brainwashed/fragranced like the test of the group.

Ladybug eventually saves the day like in canon.

Rose and Prince Ali befriend together (at the surprise of Chloé).

Guitar Villain

Jagged Stone requests Marinette about creating a new album cover.

But Bob Roth, the music producer, "advices" to the girl to design a "modern" version: A pink-themed cover based on XY's albums.

There are more Chloé's appearances in this AU than in canon.

The blondie accompanies Marinette to Jagged permitting to the latter girl to present the cover to the musician. The blondie rich girl will join Adrien later.

The Jagged's akumatization into Guitar Villain happens.

The battle happening is identical to the canon. Meanwhile, Chloé "offers her help" to Ladybug and Cat Noir (It's comical: She just comes to rescue XY Roth).

In aftermath, Marinette manages to design a Rock'n'Roll-themed cover for Jagged (At the objection of Bob).

Jagged's new album becomes N°1 on charts.

Adrien congratulates Marinette for the exploit. Chloé praises her too but with some nuance.

Kung Food

Wang Cheng/Cheng Shifu, Marinette's great-uncle, comes to Paris for participate to the World Greatest Chef contest that organisated at the Grand Hôtel.

Like in the canon, Marinette (under Alya's advice) asks Adrien for help to communicate with her great-uncle.

The story is the same until Chloé's comes to see Dupain-Cheng and Adrikins.

In this AU, Chloé sees them as her lovely "friends". In canon, only Adrikins is her lovely "friend" (as love interest) while she hates Dupain-Cheng.

Chloé says to the Adrienette duet she doesn't like the soup/dish (So. Why are you become a jury member if you don't want to eat/taste foods of candidates ? 🤔😑🥣).

Realizing the fact Cheng Shifu is part of the bakery girl family, the rich brat decides to impress the latter girl by cooking a dish.

For that, she distracts Shifu by telling him "Marinette is waiting him outside of the kitchen".

In the kitchen, she takes a pressure cooker that already contains a soup (unaware it's Shifu's soup) and she "cooks" it with everything she can find at hand. She is furtive. She cooks a soup with her own imagination.

When Chloé finishes it, Shifu comes back ans doesn't remark the Chloé's modification.

As in canon, the jury members are disgusted about tasting Shifu's "Celestial soup" and decline the cooker out of the competition.

Shifu claims someone has sabotaged his soup. Marinette and Adrien have the same thought about the sabotage thing.

Marinette suspects Chloé. The latter innocently whistles and just tells to have cooked her own "ridiculous" soup (advising the others to not taste it).

Cheng Shifu, who finds out the Chloé's presence in kutchen wasn't a coincidence, believes the latter has sabotaged his cooking and he is eventually akumatized into Kung Food.

The akuma incident happens in the same way as in the canon.

Chloé is taken as prisoner by Kung Food's brainwashed slaves. Ladybug and Cat Noir come to save her.

They eventually defeat Kung Food and his slaves (with the unawaited help of Chloé).

After the battle, Chloé expresses her "apologizes" to Cheng Shifu and she confesses to want to impress Marinette.

Shifu is reintegrated to the competition and he wins the title of World's Greatest Chef with the Marinette soup (previously named Celestial soup).

Shifu teaches to both Marinette and Chloé how to cook the concerned soup.

Antibug

There are major changes for this episode.

The Sabrina's akumatization into Vanisher happens in same way as in canon. Chloé and Sabrina initially played together with Armand Jean-??? the butler. The two girls were disguised as Ladybug and Cat Noir.

Chloé sees Jagged Stone and a reporter team (leaded by Nadja Chamack) talking together. The blondie thinks about a joke. She comes to the journalists by ignoring Sabrina and her butler. The joie: To pretend to be the real Ladybug.

Her joke seems work well until Sabrina "wastes" the plan.

Chloé becomes mad toward Sabrina. The "sidekick" tries to express an apologize but the blondie "fires" her.

The next day, Sabrina attempts to fix her relationship. But Chloé coldly says to her:

I would have preferred you were invisible. To be friends with you was ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous !

The Vanisher's torment against Chloé happens identically to the canon. Ladybug and Cat Noir confront the invisible villainess.

Chloé comes to help the heroes but Ladybug backfires her (she was aware about Chloé's "superhero identity usurpation" attempt).

After deakumatizing Sabrina, Chloé hears the conversation Ladybug and Cat Noir.

In this AU, the conversation happens like that:

Cat Noir: Why didn't you listen to Chloé ? She was only trying to help. Ladybug: First, because Chloé has put us in danger including herself. And about endangering herself, Second, she has been totally irresponsible to claim to be me earlier. Do you forget the Lady Wifi incident ? I was not gonna let her playing hero.

Hearing and misunderstanding her potential love interest's idol's words, Chloé is heartbroken. She falls in tears.

Hawkmoth uses this opportunity to akumatize Chloé into Antibug.

Hawkmoth: Antibug, I am Hawk Moth. Ladybug has broken your heart, I give you the chance for revenge. So, shall we defeat Ladybug together ? Chloé: You can count on me Hawk Moth ! There will only be one heroine in Paris, me ! Antibug !

While Ladybug and Cat Noir finish their talk with journalists, Antibug stands up against them.

Antibug's introduction line to Ladybug:

Hahahaha ! You should have accept my help to defeat Vanisher. You've broken my heart. And now, I'm going to break you !

The battle happens as similar as in canon until the deakumatization scene.

During the battle, Antibug/Chloé confesses to Ladybug to be in love with her.

Ladybug tries to reason with Antibug by explaining about her hero's duties and responsibilities but the contradicted villainess doesn't care.

The Lucky Charm and Anti Charm summonings happen.

About deakumatizing Chloé, Ladybug will say this speech (Shadybug vibes):

You're right, Chloé. Reject your help is an error. You have feelings on me and I respect and tolerate it. Sincerely I never wanted to hurt you. I want to say that: You're an exceptional girl, Chloé Bourgeois. I consider you as a close friend. You aren't ridiculous.

Touched by Ladybug's words, Antibug is crying. She feels emotional and thanks her heroin. Chloé says to her:

And you aren't utterly ridiculous, Ladybug !

Chloé executes the Miraculous Antibug repairing her own damages.

Afterward, Chloé rejects the akuma (Hawkmoth: NOOOOO !!!) that impresses Ladybug and Cat Noir.

After the battle, Chloé reconciles with Ladybug and accepts to reconcile with Sabrina too.

At the school, Chloé "apologizes" to Sabrina and rehires her befriends with her again.

We can say Ladybug and Chloé are more closer in this AU than in canon.

Volpina

Here comes the launch of the story.

Same story than the canon. Adrien "steals" a grimoire from the Gabriel's safe (with the complicity of Plagg).

A new student girl named Cerise Bianca Lila Rossi comes to Françoise Dupont school and gains sympathy of the schoolmates by lying telling her stories.

In this AU, Marinette, Alya, Chloé and Sabrina (forming a quartet) come to school together.

Marinette is aware about Lila's existence earlier than in the canon (possibly thanks to Sabrina and Chloé).

When Marinette stalks Adrien and Lila at the library, she is accompanied of Chloé.

In this AU, Chloé can temporary disturbs the "couple". Lila, unimpressed, passive-aggressively backfires/roasts the blondie girl who is angered. Chloé leaves the library while Marinette stays hidden for watching the scene.

Tikki recognizes the Grimoire/Spellbook when Adrien removes it from his schoolbag. But Lila steals the book (unknown to Adrien).

Marinette and Tikki eventually follow Lila until the park (the bakery girl remembers too the new student lied about being friends with Ladybug).

The "date" happens in the same way as in canon. Lila pretends to be a superheroin ("better" than Ladybug) to Adrien. Marinette, who has taken back the grimoire from the trashcan, becomes Ladybug and confronts the superliar exposing her on front of Adrien.

Humiliated, Lila is akumatized into Volpina. And the battle happens like in canon.

After the battle, Lila glares to Ladybug with the line: We'll never be friends.

Adrien finds out the Grimoire has disappeared. Gabriel will be aware about the book's disappearance

Marinette, under the guidance of Tikki, meets the guardian of the Miraculous: Master Fu. She comes to present the Grimoire to him.

End of Season 1. To be continued in Season 2.

You must see there are missing episodes: The Mime, Stormy Weather, The Paraoh, The Puppeteer, Copycat, The Gamer, Animan and Simon Says.

No need to adding these episodes because Chloé doesn't appear in theses and/or hasn't any interference in theses for the progress of the story.

It took me more one week for redact this rewrite.

The Chloenette AU prologue here:

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous au #miraculous rewrite #miraculous fanart #chloenette au #marinette dupain cheng #chloé bourgeois #chloenette #chlonette #my art #chloebug

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Between the Lines 2

Warnings: non/dubcon, Lee is rude, customer service triggers. and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters:Lee Bodecker

Part of the Bookstore AU

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Another day, another shift. It starts off less than ideal. Traffic is a slog and there’s customers outside waiting for open as you walk up. You have to escape them like a zombie horde to get inside. This time of year, they tend to resemble extras in The Walking Dead.

You put your things in the back and punch in. You help Giselle with the opening list as her lashes droop precariously. She’s never very awake on her morning shifts. As you balance the till, she yawns and checks her phone.

“That old lady is out again. Something about her back,” she pops a piece of gum in her mouth and starts chewing noisily. “Not like she could do much more than wring her hands.”

“Oh, that’s too bad,” you login and look across the store. You prefer being on the floor but you won’t get to stretch your legs until after noon.

“Eh, whatever. Not many seasonals this year,” she drones, “good, I don’t have to put up with children.”

You glance at her. She’s not much older than the high school students who come in to work the holiday sales. She’s just into her sophomore year and has the false sense of authority that often replaces the freshman fear.

You won’t mention that you have a masters and you’re still standing in the same place as her. Albeit, you’re full time and a pay grade higher. Still, it’s not that steep a gap between you.

The first customers are let in and swiftly fan out in their missions. A man comes up to ask about Tom Clancy’s novels and you point him in the right direction, telling him that Colton will be there to help out. He thanks you and shuffles away.

The morning drags by as you ring through the early birds. It’s that time of day where everyone is still waking up and seems to have something to complain about. You’ve suggested complementary coffee in hopes that it might quell their gripes.

Around eleven, you lean on the counter, the store effectively empty, and your headset crackles. Your name is called over the line to go to the operations room. You look at Giselle but she’s transfixed on her phone. She doesn’t even hear you say you’ll be right back.

The assistant manager, Colin, greets you in the operations room, one desk empty as he sits in another and wiggles a pen. You hover by the door as he keeps his focus on the monitor. For people who work in a bookstore, they do prefer the digital to the hard copy.

“Alright, let’s not waste time,” he leans back, finally tearing his attention from the computer, “got a complaint about you.”

“What?” You frown.

“Doing customer surveys, the online ones. This one’s particularly glowing,” he squints at the monitor again, “‘extremely dismissive and condescending. Kept trying to walk away’.”

“I never… are you sure it’s me?”

“They got your name. I went over the tape and it tracks. This guy, cop it looks like, you walked away twice. Why?” Colin points the pen at you derisively.

“Um, well, he told me to but changed his mind,” your eyes flutter as your nerves wind up. God, it has to be that jerk officer. “I did help him but he didn’t seem to want it.”

“Not what he says and he is a customer,” Colin sighs, “going to have to write you up, sweetie.”

You blink and hold your eyes shut. This is bullshit. You know better than to voice that thought.

“A write-up?”

“Relax, you got three before we do anything,” he pulls a paper over the desk and turns it towards you, “take the slap on the wrist and get back out there. It’s books. Just… smile a bit more and…” he pauses, his gaze dipping beneath your face, “maybe push your shoulders back. Posture’s important.”

You sniff back your disgust. You know what he means. Shoulders back; chest out. Gross. You cross the room and take the pen, reading over the write-up and the comments copy-pasted from the survey. Wow, what a jackass. You sign. Despite being a corporate peon, Colin’s right. It’s easier to just take the mark on your record.

“Thanks, sweetie,” he slides the paper away, “get back on the till.”

You nod and back out of the office. You shake your head as you stride through the store. This is so stupid and where the hell is Mr. Pine? He would’ve at least heard you out and overridden this nonsense decision. He’s been elusive lately and it shows.

You get back to cash as Giselle pops her gum noisily, “where were you, I gotta pee.”

“Go,” you wave her off as you step up behind the machine, “dead in here anyway.”

🚓

The day ends in the furor of after-work shoppers. You finally get free of the rush and into the lot. The air is crisp and whispers of the coming snows. Not quite cold enough as only a cold mist flecks down and has the tarmac shining black.

You go to your car and fish out your keys. As you do, someone rolls up behind your bumper and stops, exhaust puffing up in a stink. You shove the key in the door and glance over as someone gets out, staring at you over the roof of the cruiser. What the hell?

“Finished for the day?” The officer asks, the very same blight you had the pleasure of meeting the other day.

“Yes, officer.”

“Don’t sound so happy,” he comments, “nasty weather, huh?”

“Mhmm,” you nod and open your door, throwing your bag across to the passenger side.

“You’re being shifty… you nervous around cops?” He challenges as he rounds the hood of his car, nonchalantly idling in the lane.

“No,” you shrug, “I’m just headed home. Worked a long day, sir.”

“Oh yeah? You work so hard, don’t ya?” He scoffs, “smiles all worn out, ain’t it?”

He looms close, putting his hand on the roof of your car as his other comes up to touch your chin. You step back to look at him, crowded against the open door. You gape at him, heart pumping wildly.

“Officer, can I help you with something?”

“Sheriff,” he taps the star emblazoned on his coat, just under the fleecy collar, “I’m not lookin’ for your help, don’t you worry, but you look like you got a load on ya so I’m just doing my duty here and checkin’ in.”

You set your jaw. You’re not working, you have no obligation to pander. You’re parked between the lines, your insurance is up to date, and you’re tired as fuck.

“I’m good, sir. Thanks for asking. I gotta get home.”

He smiles, his hand falling to your scarf. He fixes the fabric as you fidget, resisting the voice that hollers at you to push him away. Assault on an officer is the last thing you need.

“Get home and cozy, huh?” He smirks, his blue eyes sparkling, “got someone special waitin’ on ya?”

“Sir?” You frown.

“Dangerous livin’ alone. I’m just makin’ sure you’re safe.”

You clamp your lips tight. He wrote a whole essay about you’re disservice to him, so why is he bothering you now? This is quite the power trip.

“Fine, sir. My cat will be hungry, so uh…”

“Ah, one of those,” he snorts and pulls away.

“One of…” your voice trails back.

“Don’t need no man,” he tuts, “you got your cat. They all say that before they know what’s what.” He wags his fingers as he backs away, “there’s only so much you can learn from books, you’ll see.”

You stare, frozen in place. Is that a threat? Is this all because you tried to help him? Because you didn’t just take his entitlement and swallow it like cherry pie? As absurd as it seems, it’s still scary as hell.

#lee bodecker #dark lee bodecker #dark!lee bodecker #lee bodecker x reader #series #drabble #au #bookstore au #between the lines #the devil all the time

[posletsvet]

A bunch of JJK season 2 headcanons:

(because I had nothing else to occupy my mind with while on a train trip)

Nanami has a few stomach problems, so he's very mindful about his diet. He eats bread on his cheat days. He also has mild lactose intolerance.

If there's anybody in the series with a 'my body is a holy temple' attitude, it has to be Gojo. He never smokes and rarely drinks because of that. Others used to make fun of him for 'being a princess with such delicate tastes', but he certainly did use it to his advantage by being insufferably annoying after parties/celebrations. He ended up not being invited.

Shoko smokes to wind down, so she sticks to some pleasant flavours. Her favourite ones are cherry and coffee, and she gets annoyed with tobacco shop workers for confusing the latter with chocolate.

During school Shoko carries around a handful of sugarless candy or gum to chew on in order to resist a tobacco craving. Gojo makes a habit of stealing a couple or more from her.

Geto smokes to numb his senses, so he usually goes for nasty foul things, nothing fancy at all. He also buys cheap cigarettes because he doesn't like the prospect of spending too much money on it. Once Shoko tried to snatch a cigarette from him, but ended up putting it out without finishing.

Geto actually hates the smell of cigarette smoke, so he has a separate set of clothes for this purpose. Gojo doesn't like it either, and he whines about it every single time Geto goes for a smoke because that means he can't hang out with him without smelling it.

Adults in Geto's life are usually fond of him, especially his past teachers, and his reputation of a model student is important to him. This is partly because his previous classmates tended to treat him as an outcast due to the rumors around him.

Haibara comes from a rural area and still has a great share of childlike wonder towards everything around him. He's more than excited to live in the capital city.

Haibara has a bunch of older siblings as well as a younger sister. By some miracle, he manages to get along with everyone. You guessed it: he is the miracle.

Utahime's hair tie is actually Shoko's gift.

Utahime's hairstyle was something that inspired Shoko to grow out her hair. She started by growing out her bangs. Before that, she had worn a bob haircut for as long as she could remember. Her mom insisted on it -- she thought longer hairstyle wouldn't suit her as her hair was rather thin. Turned out it wasn't true.

Shoko was raised by a single mom.

Nanami pierced his right ear, then backlashed by becoming too self-conscious about it and grew out his hair to hide the piercing.

Gojo is effortlessly good at everything he puts his mind to. When he started seriously studying chemistry in order to further improve his Limitless, he turned to Shoko for help, but then turned out to be a frustratingly quick learner. She would idly throw things at him for it.

Geto is a morning person to the marrow of his bone. His habit of getting up early stems from his childhood when he used to do so in order to get a few spare hours just for himself. He took to mindlessly cleaning up his room back then as well -- as a means to relax by organizing his life at least a little bit and feel in control of it.

Geto also cooks pretty well and is used to looking after himself. He's not that much of a foodie, though, and at some point of his life struggled with an eating disorder. He relapses during the Premature Death arc.

As someone who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, Gojo doesn't know what household chores even are. After he takes Megumi and Tsumiki under his care, for quite some time it doesn't even occur to him that doing all the housework by themself isn't a normal childhood activity for an eight-year-old.

Gojo tries to give Geto a sweet tooth by being obnoxious about Geto having his drinks sugar-free and trying to sneak sugar in his beverages. It results in Geto gradually taking to drinking his tea/coffee with just one piece of sugar. Gojo thinks it's a win.

Gojo forgets to buy presents every single time. Untill he brings Geto and Shoko ridiculously expensive gifts that one time when they came to the decision they're not buying anything for each other this once due to low budget.

Gojo is an albino and has very sensitive skin. (That's why he was wearing a hoodie in Okinawa!!) Moreover, if it wasn't for the Six Eyes, he would have poor eyesight.

Geto's skin tans very quickly in the summer and he gets freckles easily. He ends up burrowing Satoru's sunscreen a lot.

Haibara is the only dog person of the group.

Shoko was involved in the jujutsu world from pretty early on since her technique is so rare and so valuable practically -- therefore her laid-back and nonchalant attitude.

Gojo has a severe case of being touch starved. He's constantly leaning in somebody's personal space and initiates touch a lot. Usually Geto doesn't mind it, but on bad days it rather unnerves him as he sometimes just needs his privacy.

Utahime used to chew on her lips when deep in thought or feeling nervous, and that made wearing lipstick a problem. She broke that habit after graduation as she started to gain confidence.

Geto and Utahime have the best handwriting among the group. Geto's is more graceful, swift with prolonged fine lines, and Utahime's is smaller, neat and round and with a lot of curves. Nanami's letters are refined and tidy, but somewhat formal as if it's typed rather than written. Shoko has pleasant handwriting as well, but she usually writes really fast and doesn't care whether it's nice to look at or not. She's got messy notes only she herself can navigate through. Haibara's writing is almost childish, big and legible and somehow brings to mind the image of a smile. Gojo's writing is like chicken scratch honestly. He couldn't care less and finds it funny when it's impossible to read.

Haibara more often than not forgets his lunch money. Nanami and Geto are usually the ones who share with him when it happens. Afterwards Gojo always demands that Geto share with him as well.

Last but not least: Gojo has migraines from time to time. He claims that laying his head in Geto's lap is the only thing that helps him.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk headcanons #gojo satoru #geto suguru #shoko ieiri #utahime iori #nanami kento #haibara yu #sashisu #i love them your honour #i love them so so so much #i hope nothing bad ever happens to them #anyways don't mind me #it doesn't have to make sense it's just my therapy #are there a few too many smoking headcanons? #probably #i have a couple of tokyo trio hcs as well #but i think they deserve their own post #will i ever make it? #who knows

[rkay07]

Homerun

Baseball Player!Schlatt x Fem!reader

(You’re invited to a college baseball game by your best friend but come to realize you might have a little crush on their pitcher.)

Warnings: Flirting, Physical Touch, don't have much else...

Word Count: 3.2k+

You were curious as to why your best friend, Ted, had just now asked you to go to a game at his college, in the third year. He said you looked busy during the season but then he noticed how many times you went to the local library, so he thought otherwise. He very much encouraged you to come just because of that, he said that, “You spend too much time alone” that, “You should hang out with people” And you heard him, you really did but it just wasn’t your forte. You finally agreed when he told you his girlfriend, Shae, would be right there at your side, you felt a little better and went with it. So now you're headed out, ready to be bored out of your mind, but to be honest you knew baseball pretty well. Like a homerun and a strike and an out and a foul and a steal…ok maybe you knew more than you let on but you still didn’t watch it very much.

Anyway, you got there, and Ted starts talking about all the players on the team and the guys he knows. One guy stood out to you, the pitcher. Ted said he was good, like really good, so you took his word for it and waited for him to step up to the mound.

The game starts as the players fill the field. All of a sudden you’re excited to watch a sport that you’ve never been interested in. You straighten up in your seat and set your attention onto the guy walking to the mound, you’ve never seen a guy chew gum with such passion. Throwing the first pitch and getting up to 93 mph, the batter strikes out. You watched in awe as the pitcher made the batter strike out all 3 times. You were so ready to watch all 9 innings now.

The first inning finishes and the home team, your team, is up 2-0. You didn’t know your team was good enough to score points but here you are rooting for home with Ted and Shae right by your side. You normally didn’t show that you liked being anywhere but this was fun, being involved and actually knowing what you’re looking at. You look to your right, towards the home dugout, and see someone waving their hand off trying to get Ted’s attention. You press your lips together, “Ted I think someone’s trying to say hi.” You point over to the dugout and he whips his head around. He perks up and waves to him, “You’re going great Honey!” The guy laughs, throwing his head back. He gives him a thumbs up then goes back to his baseball buddies. You tap Ted on the leg and lean towards him, “Who was that?” He chuckles, “That’s Jay, he’s the main pitcher I was talking about.” You squint your eyes trying to get a better look at him, “He’s cute.” You say honestly. He smiles this time, “He’s single~.” Your eyes widen as you look at Ted with a how dare you look. He shrugs his shoulders and slings an arm around his girlfriend. You huff looking back onto the field, seeing all the players are heading out onto the field to start the next inning.

Laughing and clapping during most of the innings was something you didn’t expect, another thing you didn’t expect was to catch a couple glances from the pitcher as he would walk to the mound. Every time your eye connected, heat rushed to your cheeks, making you look down or away from his gaze. His eyes penetrated the walls you had built up, never letting anyone get through to you. But he did something, something no other person has ever done to you. His look was genuine, genuinely curious, genuinely starstruck, maybe even genuinely loving. But you haven’t even shook his hand, let alone said a word to him. You were taken aback when you noticed you might have a legit crush on him. You frowned at yourself, looking down at your hands and bringing them up to your neck to massage it.

The game ends, with an unbelievable score of 7-3, with the home team winning. The whole home side stands up and applauds for the home team, including you, Ted and Shae, clapping for a good minute. As the crowd dies down, you grab your stuff, making sure to stay close behind Shae. You follow them towards the dugout area, stopping to talk to Ted’s girlfriend about the game. Ted comes walking back with his friend, the guy who was making eyes at you for most of the game. You clear your throat as Ted introduces you, “This is Y/n, she’s a bit shy but I finally got her out here to watch the game.” You awkwardly smile at him, waiting for him to laugh or something but all he does is grin. This huge puppy-like grin hit you like a train, almost making you want to fall to the ground. It didn’t help at all when you scanned the rest of his facial features, deep brown eyes, sharp jawline, red cheeks from the heat. You wanted to cave in right then and there but you stood your ground, blinking any images away you might have had in that moment, “Yes I’m Y/n, but I’m not at all shy…” you trail off looking down at your feet, “Just busy.” A weak smile spreads across your face, but to your surprise he didn’t buy it. He looks down at you with his eyebrow raised and his arms crossed over his chest, wanting a better answer out of you. Your eyes lock with his not being able to remove your gaze from him.

You stand there still for just a couple seconds but to you it felt like forever until Ted decided to jump into the mix, “How about we go grab something to eat?” Jay doesn’t even think about looking at him until you’re finally able to look at something else other than Jay, “Food sounds amazing right now.” You stand there for a second then quickly grab Shae’s arm and walk off.

It was quite a walk so you had some time to tell her what had happened right in front of her face, “Shae, do you know him?” you ask, slowing down the pace as you’ve created a good distance between her boyfriend and his friend. She looks back at you holding onto your arm, “Well, I’ve known him for as long as I’ve been with Ted, why?” You take a deep breath in, “Does he…” you hesitate to say the next line but go for it anyway, “Does he like to hit on girls?” Shae looks at you, trying to hold in a laugh but fails miserably, she bursts out into laughter now holding onto your arm so she doesn’t fall to the ground. It lasted a good moment until she came back with tears in her eyes from laughing so hard, “You think- you think he- you think he can pull girls?!” Taking a breath in between words. You kind of smiled at her but not very big, you were concerned but also amused that she didn’t think he could pull a girl. You chuckled as she calmed down, wiping tears off her face, “But I did see how he looked at you and girl, you’re in trouble.” You pursued your lips at her comment, not knowing what to say. You look to see your cars are just up ahead, “You think I’m in trouble?” She scoffs, then gives you the I’m not kidding look, “I know so, Babe.” You shake your head with a smile as you part ways, getting into your car before anyone can pull you out.

When you got to the restaurant, they put you at a booth, you narrowed your eyes knowing only two can sit on each side. You looked at Shae, she pouted her lips and sat in the booth in front of you. You pressed your lips together and stared at the booth. Jay leaned down from behind you, getting right next to your ear, “Suck it up buttercup.” You immediately sat down in the booth, sliding all the way down to the end. At least Shae was in front of you. Jay sat down next to you leaving room in between. You glance over at him from your menu,  noticing that he had changed out of his baseball clothes and into some normal ones. A black hoodie, shorts and some not-so dirty shoes. He leaned on the table with his fist in his cheek, now having a direct view from his menu to you. You look back at your menu hoping he didn’t see you, but he did.

After everyone gets their drinks, that’s when you finally hear Jay talk, “So Ted, tell me.” He looks over at you while taking a sip of his drink, “How long did it really take for this girl to finally come?” You stop what you’re doing and look at Shae as Ted responds, “Well really ever since you started playing, I’ve been asking her and asking her and asking her but she just wouldn’t come.” Then they both look at you, making your eyes jump from one to the other, “Ok, hold on, don’t you dare look at me like that!” A slight chuckle escapes from your lips, “Why I wasn’t agreeing to it is because I like my studies, I didn’t want to-” Your cut off my Jay’s words, “Waste your time.” He raised an eyebrow, your jaw dropped, “No! I just…” You calmed down as you were getting a little riled up, “I would rather spend time doing school work than being at a baseball game,” You take a glance at Jay who’s still looking at you, “that’s all I’m saying.” He nods and takes another sip of his drink. You sigh and look at Shae and bring your hand up to block Jay’s view of your face, “What is with these two?” She could tell that you felt outnumbered but she was right there with you, she reached out to grab your hand and squeezed it. She brings her free hand up to your face so they can’t see her mouth, “They’re just being boys.” You roll your eyes and drop your hand into your lap, the other still in Shae’s hand. She squeezes it one last time then releases it. You pout as you look at your drink, you reach for it but Jay had other plans. He gets to it before you do and takes it, taking a sip from the cup not from the straw you had in there. You stared at him as he set it down in front of you, “Just making sure it wasn’t poisonous.” He winks at you, making you blush, “Thanks.” you mumble as you pick up your drink and take a sip from the straw.

The rest of the dinner was a little more silent than you would have liked, only Ted and Shae talking. You were quiet because of your food, but you didn’t know why Jay was quiet. You would occasionally glance over at him, making sure he was still there because he was so quiet. Every so often you would lock eyes with him, he would chuckle at the glare you gave him like he wasn’t supposed to be looking at you. As Ted finished his food he took a look at Jay and found him on his phone, so he brought him into the conversation, “Whatcha doin’ over there?” You look up from your food to see Jay on his phone, smiling as you finish your food too. Jay turns his phone off and sets it on the table furthest from you. You looked him up and down as he talked to Ted, taking your sweet time to look at every inch of him. Not even noticing it yourself, you had scooched towards him just a smidge, he didn’t notice either though. So you scooched over like you wanted to know what they were talking about even though you could hear perfectly fine from where you were sitting previously. Jay noticed that one, glancing for a quick second then leaning all the way back on the booth. He put his arm on the booth, his hand grazing your back as he moved. You shuddered at his touch, crossing your arms over your stomach as you lean on the booth. You looked at your drink thinking about picking it up but second guessing. He watched you as you stared at the cup, his eyes trailing from your face to your hair to your bare shoulders. He wanted to touch them so bad but not in an inappropriate way, but just grazing his fingertips along your shoulders. It was an urge he didn’t know he could feel but he looked away not wanting to make it worse. Shae saw all of this, she was in awe of how he looked at you. It was almost as if he was in love. And on top of all of this you were staring at your cup like it was going to walk off the table.

She widened her eyes to get your attention off your cup, making you blink out of the trance, “What?” she rolled her eyes and pointed her eyes to the arm around your shoulders. You shrugged and mouthed “watch this.” She leaned on the table, her elbows supporting her and watched as you reached over Jay’s body and grabbed the spiked drink menu. He didn’t move a single inch and was staring in your eyes the whole time. You stopped in front of him, your heart pounding as you looked between his eyes and lips admiring the closeness between the two of you, you finally settled back into your seat feeling quite proud of yourself. You leaned onto the table just as Shae did, her jaw dropped and her eyes wide, “How-” You shrugged your shoulders and looked at the menu. Flabbergasted, she turned to her boyfriend who was also flabbergasted at what he just saw. Ted looked at Jay, who had his hand over his mouth contemplating if he should take you to his car now or wait till everyone was gone. You smiled to yourself as you flipped through the menu. You flagged down a waiter and ordered a nice spicy drink to finish the night.

Walking out of the restaurant and endlessly thanking Ted for paying for the night. You guys stood around for a minute talking and ending the night on a high note. You honestly still couldn’t get over Jay’s height, like, he was so tall and that hair, all messy. Yeah there was no way you weren’t leaving without a kiss but how? How do you sneak a kiss in without Ted and Shae seeing? Guessing Jay already had his plan in motion, he leaned over to Ted and whispered something to him. You looked at Shae, eyes frantic but hers were fine, actually they were too fine. She gave you a soft smile and left with Ted with her arm interlocked with his. You failed to say goodbye to Ted but you didn’t fail to say thank you to him one last time. As they disappeared behind Jay’s large figure, you swallowed your saliva down your throat, trailing your eyes up to his. You could say you were nervous but you could also say you were excited, you couldn’t decide what you were right now but what you did know is that you were in trouble, in a lot of it.

You looked at each other for a hot minute, the tension building slightly. You turned to look at your car then back to Jay wondering if he was going to say or do anything. When you turned back he had taken a step closer and that made your brain fuzz up and your eyes jolting from both of his. He cocked his head and pouted, “Oh…don’t do that to yourself doll.” He stood there, a small grin appearing on his face. You felt small compared to him, physically and figuratively. In a good way he made you feel protected and taken care of but on the other hand you wanted his big stature on top of you. You come back from your daydreaming to him a foot away from you now. You looked up at him, big eyes and heart pounding. All you could do was stare. And he did too, he stared all over from your hair to your perfectly clean shoes. Your breathing became heavy and longing for his breath to mix with yours. He glanced at your lips, when your lips parted he dove in.

Starting off easy with just his lips, he held your neck with both of his hands. You held onto the inside of his elbows as he kissed you softly, following his lead,your eyes fluttering with every movement. His hands rubbed your skin with the utmost gentleness. You winced at the feeling of his tongue grazing your teeth, digging your fingertips into his shoulders. He wanted you closer, snaking his big arm around your waist and one hand still holding the back of your neck. You lean into his warm body and fiddle with a drawstring on his hoodie. You pulled away, needing some air but you guessed that he didn't need air because he kept going, planting kisses light as air on your lips as you caught your breath. He ran his hand from your neck to your hair lowering his voice as he spoke words into your ear, “...Take your time…there’s no rush…” pressing kisses against your ear in between sentences. Heat rushed to your face as he spoke such soft words to you. You took deep breaths, exhaling into the crook of his neck. He rubbed small circles on your back as he hugged you, pulling your body as close as possible.

You lean back to get a better view of Jay and cuff his face. He looks down at you with eyes full of bliss as he rubbed his face into your hand, feeling the warmth of your touch. He raised his hand to yours, gripping them slightly as he removed them from his face, “Let me drive you home tonight.” His sudden voice sent chills down your spine, you thought about it for a second then nodded with a smile, “I’d like that.” A genuine smile spread across his face as he slung an arm around, walking beside you to his car.

Sitting in the passenger seat of his car, he takes a hold of your hand and plants a single kiss on the back of it. Looking at each other, you can’t help but lean towards him. You kiss him with ease, grazing your thumb along his jawline. You couldn’t get enough of him but you finally sit back down as he starts the car. Right then and there you knew that this would be something good, maybe even forever with a baseball player you just met the same day.

#jschlatt #schlatt #schlatt fluff #jschlatt x reader #schlatt x reader #jschlatt fluff #Baseball Player!Schlatt

[icyg4l]

PAC: What Can You Do to Pass Your Finals?

Hello beautiful people! It is about that time of the year again where us students are struggling to meet deadlines & have to study for the dreadful finals. Well, I’m here to give you all some tips on how to pass your final exams this season. I will be using my True Heart tarot deck for this reading per usual. If you resonate with this reading enough to want to book with me, please read my guidelines and dm me for a reading! Without further ado, please select your academic weapon!

Left-to-Right: Pile 1-3 (Elle Woods, Dionne Davenport, Jade the Brat)

Pile 1: I feel like this pile really needs to consider having a study buddy. That would help you tremendously. Doing things like going back and forth to repeat formulas, coming up with sufficient answers for mock trials and practicing for a foreign oral exam with another person can be some of the things that you do. Study dates are absolutely necessary. I feel like you also need to change the scenery. Go somewhere that you’ve never been before, particularly near a body of water. And another thing that you can do to help you achieve academic success is chewing gum while you study. It’s scientifically proven that chewing gum can improve your memory & can boost your test scores (only if you put the effort in though beforehand lmao).

Cards Used: Death, 7 of Cups, Princess of Cups, Knight of Cups.

extras: being by the water. trees. hair twirler. fidget spinner.

Pile Two: I think the best thing that you can do is ask for assistance directly from the source. I feel like this is specifically for those who are struggling in their math or science classes. I get the feeling that you don’t want to take this class ever again. So, you need to get situated and fast. I feel like this pile may be going through a separation/breakup from their partner. It may be affecting your ability to focus on school. But it is best that you not only seek academic guidance from the source, explain your situation to them so that they can understand what you’re going through. They may direct you to some mental help. I feel like another thing that you could do is practice grounding exercises. Surround yourself in nature. Go bicycling or hiking. Go to a conservatory. Lastly, another thing you could do is go for a swim. I feel like you need to get moving. You need to get physical before/while you’re getting ready to study.

Cards Used: 7 of Cups, 9 of Discs, 2 of Cups, Judgment, Queen of Cups, 5 of Cups, Page of Cups.

extras: pull ups. heartburn. feeling helpless. “unusual.”

Pile Three: This pile feels very extreme. It’s a crucial moment in your academic career that could either make or break you, it seems. I think that this finals season determines whether or not you will have to go to summer school or whether you will get into that school. Maybe even going to the next grade or having to retake that particular class. So, you have to buckle in. I am seeing someone crack their knuckles and stretch out their neck. I don’t get the feeling that this is a traditional final. It could be a project or a paper that’s graded harshly. It could also be a collaboration. Whatever it is, I feel like your mother figure could help you a lot with this. She knows more about this subject than you think. Allow her to help. Another thing that can help you is reaching out to people who have done the same project as you in previous years or the semester prior. And lastly, take really good notes from people who are well-versed in this subject. They will come in handy & you won’t regret that you did it.

Cards Used: The Tower, 10 of Discs, The Lovers, The Moon, The Empress.

extras: “it’s gametime.” “appealing.” sweaty hands. marnie. beats headphones. deep breath in & out.

#law of assumption #manifesting #neville goddard #hoodoo #tarot #tarotreading #astro notes #pick a card #pick a pile #divination #tarot tumblr #tarot witch #free tarot #daily tarot #tarot deck #tarot reading #tarot cards #pick an image #pick a reading #tarot pac #pac reading #tarot pick a card #tarot pull #spirituality #tarot community #channeled message #intuitive readings #black tarot readers #pick a photo #tarotcommunity

[janehaster]

Mobius is not as harmless as he seems

I find Mobius to be such an interesting, intriguing character.

He has this harmless aura around him, but people forget he specializes in hunting dangerous Variants. Renslayer wouldn't trust him with such an important job if she didn't know he was capable of handling it. It means Mobius isn't as harmless as he seems.

Spoilers below

He has been around for at least 400 years, so imagine how many cases he must've worked on. How many times he had to outsmart psychopaths, powerful individuals and other threatening beings, maybe even creatures capable of obliterating entire worlds with just one thought.

Some attributes of his which may have gone amiss are:

He has quite a deep understanding of psychology. He played Loki so he could get him to spill his secrets and be able to build a psychological profile on all Loki Variants.

He uses manipulation as a tool to win. He tried to manipulate Loki to get him to cooperate out of jealousy for his "superior Variant".

He uses flattery to turn people to his favour and get what he wants. He used this technique on Renslayer on episodes 1 and 2, even pretending to be hurt that she had another analyst as her favourite.

He doesn't like to dwell on the past or on what could have been and prefers to live in the present, tackling challenges as they arise. This is shown in two instances: when he refuses to learn about his life before the TVA and when Loki is panicking in episode 1, season 2 when he talks about the many Kang Variants coming while Mobius asks him to focus on more pressing matters at the moment.

He tackles problems logically. When he remembers the Kablooie chewing gum, he tells Loki that now "they have 2 variables", a term used by mathematicians or people from similar fields. Could he have a degree on Mathematics or Calculus from his previous life?

Overall, Mobius is enigmatic and charming. He doesn't want to confront his past, and yet gets angry when Brad (X-5) insinuates he's a Nowhere Man (like the Beatles song), which is basically a person without a purpose in life and who doesn't really belong anywhere (or who feels that way). Since X-5 read the files of his TVA companions, could it be he knows who Mobius was before and knows exactly how to get under his skin? This is highly significant, because it could mean Mobius doesn't really feel like he belongs in the TVA, or has self-doubts about his real importance in the organisation and if this is where he should really be, and what he should really be doing (being a TVA analyst).

Another trait which people may have missed is, while Loki is rebellious and provocative, Mobius is the very opposite: a people pleaser. However, BOTH characters possess the same basic psychological structure. They're both manipulative, persuasive, scheming and cunning, thick-skinned and willing to do anything to get what they want.

It's no wonder Mobius understands Loki so well and both of them have become fast friends. They just get each other and it's likely they can predict what the other will do most of the time. Ironically, Mobius and Loki both had a stroke of luck when the analyst was entrusted to hunt Sylvie, since that gave him the opportunity to meet Loki. And it seems both of them needed the same thing:

A lifelong, reliable friend.

.

.

Also, returning to the original purpose of the post, given what we know of Mobius so far, there's enough evidence to suggest he's a wolf in sheep's clothing. Harmless on the outside, extremely cunning and relentless on the inside, moving with deliberation to achieve his goal.

(Sure, Loki can be a bit more emotional and impulsive sometimes, but they still share the same basic psychology.)

#loki #loki series #mcu loki #loki theory #loki tv #mobius #mobius loki #mobius theory #mcu mobius #tva #mobius marvel #mobius m mobius

[twogyuu]

Rose-Tinted Glasses || Profiles

Pairing: Seokmin x fem!reader

Featuring: Seungcheol, Mingyu, Jun, Vernon, and Jeonghan (and sometimes Wonwoo)

Synopsis: Lee Seokmin and Y/N don't even make sense as friends, yet Seokmin wants something more - do you? (Or are you really just oblivious to it all?)

Seokmin likes to think you do, but everyone else thinks he just sees the world that surrounds you through rose-tinted glasses. (He doesn't.)

Alternatively, in which Lee Seokmin tries to forget about you and find love through blind dates.

Genre: fluff, crack, some angst, smau, acquaintances-2-lovers, one-sided pining, some jealousy (but no love triangle - promise! just misunderstanding lmao), cold!reader, resident doctor!reader, happy!seokmin, elementary school teacher!seokmin

Warnings: Pictures of food/alcohol, Vernon is a peds intern dkfjldskfjs, implied that OC's parents are deceased and raised her little brother on her own :')

WC: ~500

A/N: A smaller crew compared to Two Minus One, but I hope you still enjoy! I self-inserted so hard, but not as reader iykyk 😂💀 But also wonwoo hehehehe 😈😚 bonus, if you caught the collision of au's 😘

masterlist || next

Seokmin: A well-seasoned fourth grade teacher and hopeless romantic searching for, well, love. He strives to stay optimistic and see the best in everyone and everything. For that reason, he arguably has the best fourth grade class, despite Jeremy who continuously sticks gum he's not supposed to chew under his desks in the back row. 

Jun: The fellow art teacher who isn’t actually really good at art 💀 He shares his dinner leftovers with Seokmin during lunch when the latter rants about terrible dates and heartbreaks though!

Jeonghan: Seokmin’s best friend, wingman, hypeman – you name it, he’s there and ready (kind of). When he’s off-duty, he’s a faux stay-at-home DILF to his four-year-old daughter, Nina. 

. . . .

Y/N: Third-year pediatric resident, notorious for her cold-hearted and blunt personality. People wonder why she was hired in the first place, but hey? The important thing is that she makes her patients and their parents feel better. In truth, she's just a misunderstood and burnt out introvert with lots of responsibilities weighing on her shoulders.

Hyunwoo: Y/N’s kid teenage brother, who’s simply trying to live his best life in his third year of high school and make sure his sister doesn’t die alone (or with a house full of cats). 

Mingyu: Middle school biology teacher, Y/N's best friend, and a mutual friend to Seokmin. All the prepubescent teens have a crush on tall, tan, and gorgeous for obvious reasons (he’s trying to keep a distance from this image). Y/N’s voice of reason when she’s being irrational. 

Seungcheol: Former P.E. teacher turned PM&R resident and Y/N’s neighbor. He’s been around a long time and helped out her and her younger brother – he’s practically family! His dog, Kkuma, is his whole world 💞

Vernon: Y/N's underclassmen and mentee and one of the hospital’s new pediatric interns. He is so incredibly laid back, it’s mildly concerning. If you pay close enough attention though . . . there is someone who pays a little extra attention to 👀

Lia: One of the hospital’s new emergency medicine interns who is overly anxious, it’s mildly concerning. She likes Vernon and everyone seems to be aware except for him. Who needs ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ when you have them?

Not pictured, but will make an appearance every now and then:

Jeon Wonwoo: The eight grade algebra teacher who Seokmin befriended when he spent a year trying teaching seventh grade social studies. Hangs out with the others occasionally, but mostly enjoys the drama from a distance. He has enough matters of love on his hands anyhow . . . 🤫

#seokmin x reader #dk x reader #seokmin fluff #seokmin angst #seokmin scenarios #seokmin sm au #seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen scenarios #seventeen smau #seventeen sm au

[completely-real-and-normal-human]

an untitled magnus archives fic

the document this fic was in was just called ‘an indulgence in these troubling times’ and like yeah. sums it up really.

this fic isn’t really part of a wider au, i just threw one of the scrunklies from my brain into tma and wrote down what happened. i think it’s set somewhere in season 2 but i cannot be sure!

basic synopsis: spiral train.

my first fanfic on tumblr so pls be nice!!

tw: mentions of transphobia, spiral-typical body horror

[CLICK]

OLLIE A tape recorder? Seriously? I mean, I knew you folks were old-fashioned, but...

ARCHIVIST (mildly irritated) We've made several attempts to record to digital software, but it seems to disagree with most of the statements. This is the next best thing.

OLLIE Y'know what? I like it. Very retro. It kind of fits with this place.

ARCHIVIST Well, quite. (pause) If you'd like to begin?

OLLIE Sure. Do I, like, introduce myself, or...

ARCHIVIST Yes, just say your name and what your statement is regarding.

OLLIE Okay, uh, my name is Ollie Maverick, and this is regarding the disappearance of my coworker Grant Lewis due to an unexplained train in my workplace.

ARCHIVIST An... unexplained train?

OLLIE Well, it wasn't supposed to be there, and I sure as hell never got any sort of explanation for it.

ARCHIVIST R-right, well... (clears throat) Statement recorded direct from subject eighth of March 2017. Statement begins.

In your own time.

OLLIE (STATEMENT) Working in security was only ever okay, to be honest. The work's all right, apart from the night shifts — those really messed up my sleep schedule. I was working the night shift at a London train station when this happened. I know that's very vague, but I don't think I can name the station here, so you'll have to bear with me on that. We didn't exactly part on the best of terms, and I'd like to avoid a lawsuit at all costs. Anyway, like I said, I worked in security, and it was one of my least favorite jobs. Not the worst, but it's up there. Top four. Mostly because of Grant Lewis.

Not to speak ill of the dead or anything, but Grant was an asshole. He drank too much, chewed spearmint gum way too loudly, and he ran one of those alpha-male podcasts in his spare time. You know the ones — white guys in their twenties spend thirty minutes a week ramming their unsolicited opinions about women who won't date them and abortion and liberal politics down the throats of their listeners. That should tell you all you need to know about him. He was a prick, and he had it in for me from day one.

I was the only queer person on the security team, and I looked it. I came in the first day with a pronoun pin and a pink mullet and... well. He latched on to me, and I couldn't get rid of him. The worst part was, since we'd started working there at the same time and he kept making these awful jokes about me, to me, everyone else assumed we were friends. No one else could stand him, so we got lumped together the whole time on shifts. I spent hours with him in the control room, patrolling the station, even on my lunch break a few times when I came across him accidentally in a café. Every time, I'd have to listen to this — endless stream of unfunny jokes about my gender identity and my sex life. And, of course, those controversial opinions he aired on that podcast. He was infuriating, and he wouldn't go away.

But however much I hated Grant, I still don’t think he deserved what happened to him. Officially he's just disappeared, but I don't think anyone believes that now. I really, really don't want to know if he's still alive.

It all happened about a month ago. I was working the night shift from 11PM to 7AM with three other people — Allison Bates, Fred Landy and, of course, Grant. (long, irritated sigh) I... wasn't in the best of moods, to be frank. I'd spent the whole day dreading this, and to begin with it was exactly the kind of awful I'd expected. It was a Sunday, so the trains kept running until 2AM. The first hour or so was in the control room with Allison and Fred, who spent most of that time loudly flirting with each other. It was... very uncomfortable to watch, so I volunteered to go help Grant keep an eye on the platforms. It would have been well past midnight by this stage, coming up to 1AM, and he was out making sure the drunks lurching off the trains from holiday parties didn't get too rowdy.

There were four platforms in that station, grouped in pairs, and he was looking after platforms one and two. So, I headed off to look after platforms three and four, because I didn't feel like dealing with his bullshit. The steady flow of commuters was starting to peter out, and those that were drunk were harmlessly so. It looked like it might be shaping up to be a fairly quiet night. But I only got around forty minutes of relative peace before my radio crackled. Grant was apparently coming to join me, as Allison was covering platforms one and two. I had an idea that she'd probably sent him, as Grant had no idea how to be around any female-presenting people without getting really creepy. I may have mentioned he was a complete asshole, so I didn't really blame her, but I wasn't happy about it.

Grant showed up and we began patrolling the platforms and the small shop and cafe area together. He talked too much and chewed gum loudly, and I tried to ignore him as best I could and focus on the job. The last train rolled in around 2AM, and once the final passengers had stumbled out into the night we went to lock up.

It was then that we heard it. As we were walking back to the control room, the tannoy system crackled into life.

'The train now approaching Platform Four is not intended for passenger use. Customers are advised not to interact with the train, or indeed acknowledge it, in the interest of health and safety. Under no circumstances attempt to board the train now approaching Platform Four.

Thank you.'

It didn't sound like the usual train announcements. Those were an automated vaguely female voice, distant and slightly robotic. This voice was a garbled, distorted mess that I could barely understand, and it cut off with a screech of static that made my head ring. Grant and I stood there in confusion as the echo of that sharp static bounced off the walls, warping into something like a faint, mocking laugh.

I've not painted a great picture of Grant here, I know, but he was at least a fairly competent security guard. While I was still reeling from the announcement, he managed to get out his radio and make contact with Fred and Allison in the control room. They'd heard it too, and they were going to head towards the room that the tannoy operated out of, to see if it had been hijacked. Grant said we'd go take a look at Platform Four, to see if there was anything we needed to deal with.

It took us about two minutes to get there, and it felt like the echo of the tannoy announcement still hadn't died away. The air seemed different — heavier, maybe, and it smelled a little bitter. It made me slightly nauseous. Grant didn't seem to notice; he just started checking around the platform for anything suspicious. I was going to join him when there was a sharp, screeching whistle, like an old steam train, and I realised that I was smelling smoke.

It filled the platform as the train chugged into view, curling around everything and shimmering with colours that I — can't describe. The cloying, bitter smell of the smoke grew stronger and I could see Grant choking on it, tears streaming down his face but I breathed it in and it was... (panicked, breathy laugh) ..intoxicating. The train itself was an old steam train, bright purple and gold, with no driver that I could see. It slowed to a stop and the door to the first carriage swung open right in front of me. Mocking. Beckoning. (another laugh) It seemed the most natural thing in the world to just... step in.

Inside was a narrow corridor, carpeted in that same rich, wine-toned purple. The doors of the seating compartments faced me, and each had gauzy purple curtains pulled across the windows. I started down the corridor, and noticed a figure sitting inside one of the compartments. I couldn't make out much through the curtains, but they had long hair that seemed to be moving of its own accord, and….. their hands were... wrong.

I don't think I was entirely... myself, at that point. (shaky breath) I reached for the handle, and suddenly Grant rammed into me from behind, sending me sprawling onto the floor. He was pinning me down, talking fast and terrified, saying we had to get out, had to get help. I could see the long-haired figure in the compartment behind him slowly rising to their feet, rising and rising far beyond the proportions of a normal human body, limbs bending oddly in ways that hurt to look at. I screamed for Grant to run, but it was too late.

The door of the compartment opened with a creak, and... it wasn't a person. I don't know what the hell that thing was, but it was not a person. The hair was blond, and twisted and curled in on itself like a nest of snakes. Its eyes were hard to look at. B-but its hands... they were long, and the fingers had too many joints and they were sharp, and it looked at Grant and he started screaming, and it started laughing. That sound, it... it made my mind sting.

He tried to run, then. Got to the door that should have led back to the platform, but it was different now, smaller. Painted yellow. He opened it to show another long corridor, this time lined with mirrors and twisting wallpaper that hurt my eyes, and the monster-thing just... pushed him in. (pause) I... really hope he's dead. I really do. The alternative is just... well.

I scrambled to my feet and backed away as the thing turned to me with this... self-satisfied grin on its impossible face. Like it had just had a good meal.

Go if you like, it said. You'll be back. You won't be able to help it.

It began to laugh again as I began to run.

I don't know how long I ran. The carriage never seemed to end, and every door I opened led either to a set of seats or to another twisting corridor. Eventually, think I just... gave up. Lay on the floor and waited to dissolve into an impossibility.

I woke up lying on Platform Four with Fred leaning over me asking panicked questions while Allison was calling the police. I couldn't focus on any of what Fred was saying. My head was spinning. I... wasn't really aware of much until the police arrived. They asked me where Grant was. I said I didn't know. I was too rattled to come up with any sort of lie, so I just... told them what happened. (quiet laugh) I'm not really sure what the official proceedings were, but they didn't want to know. One of the officers dropped me home and I just went straight to bed. Thankfully my partner Rory was out on his own night shift at the time, so I didn't have to explain anything just yet. I slept like the dead until about four o'clock the next day, and the first thing I did when I woke up was send in my resignation.

I tried to... well, not forget about it, but to... put it at the back of my mind. I had no backup plan for a job, and Rory could only cover the rent alone for so long. I had to tell him what happened, obviously. I don't know if he fully believes me, but he hasn't said anything. He knows I saw something that really scared me, and he knows that that's why I quit my job. He's sticking with me, though.

Last week, I managed to get an interview for another security job in the Foundling Museum. And when I went to catch the train to get there, well.. I'm sure you can guess what happened. The smoke, this time, it... it was so hard not to get on that train. It felt... right. It was all I could do to walk away.

That blond monster-thing is following me, too.

It doesn't look as, as wrong as it did in the train, but I know exactly what it is. I see it pretty much everywhere I go. It catches my eye and winks at me, and I just about throw up with fear. Rory thinks they're panic attacks. He's trying to get me to see a doctor, or a therapist or something. He's probably right, but I wanted to come here first. I thought you... might be able to help.

ARCHIVIST (pause; a few abortive attempts to speak) Statement, eh... statement ends. I — I think I recognise this, ah... blond monster-thing you've mentioned. Did it... have you approached it? Talked to it?

OLLIE (incredulous) No!

ARCHIVIST Good. It... it calls itself Michael. I don't know exactly what it is, or what it wants, but it enjoys. toying with people. Doesn't seem to have any real purpose other than... spreading misery and madness.

OLLIE W-well, I... (clears throat) What do I do?

ARCHIVIST I'm afraid I... don't really know. (noises of panic and indignation from Ollie) I mean, I can tell you to avoid any suspicious doors, but I... have a feeling you could have come to that conclusion yourself.

OLLIE Great. Great. I knew this would be a waste of my goddamn time. Is that seriously all you've got for me? Avoid suspicious doors?

ARCHIVIST I'm sorry, I —

OLLIE (overlapping) Don't even —

[DOOR OPENS]

ELIAS Sorry Jon, am I interrupting?

ARCHIVIST Oh, Elias! Um... no, I, I think we're just about done here. R-right?

OLLIE Sure. We're done.

ELIAS Is everything quite all right?

OLLIE Apparently, you people are perfectly happy to take my statement, but you can't actually help me with my fucking eldritch stalker.

ELIAS Ah, yes. I can see how that might be... upsetting.

OLLIE (barely controlled rage) Can you, now?

ELIAS I believe I can. (pause) I'm Elias Bouchard, head of the Magnus Institute. And you are?

OLLIE Ollie. Ollie Maverick.

ELIAS Well, Mr. —

OLLIE (overlapping) Mx.

ELIAS Oh, my apologies. Well, Mx. Maverick, while I don't really know much about your situation specifically, I've found that our Institute is quite good at deterring any, ah, supernatural harassment of our employees. For the most part. And I believe you're in the market for a new iob?

OLLIE Uh. I mean….. yes, but how did you —?

ELIAS I was waiting outside for Jon to finish up, and I couldn't help overhearing. Interested?

OLLIE I... don't know that I could do much here. I don't know anything about ghosts, or - whatever it is you do...

ARCHIVIST I — Ollie, I really wouldn't —

ELIAS (overlapping) I'm sure you'll pick it up very fast. Should we discuss this in my office?

OLLIE Um... sure. May as well.

ELIAS Lovely. Oh, and Jon?

ARCHIVIST I — yes?

ELIAS Basira’s just got back. I believe you wanted to talk to her?

ARCHIVIST Oh, uh... okay, I'll — I'll go do that, I suppose.

ELIAS Right. Follow me, Mx. Maverick.

[FOOTSTEPS; DOOR SHUTS]

ARCHIVIST (sigh) Damn.

[CLICK]

[CLICK]

ARCHIVIST Well, that was... (sigh) ...anyway. Another person trapped in the archives. Better than being trapped in a corridor hellscape or an endless train carriage, I suppose. (pause)

Though... would they have been trapped? The way they described the train, and especially that smoke... what did they call it? Intoxicating.

They're clearly very scared, and I can't say I blame them, but I have to wonder if what I'm seeing here is... the birth of a new avatar. With Michael shepherding them to their new domain.

In terms of follow-up (sigh) I have been able to confirm that a Grant Lewis was filed as missing on the third of February this year. However, I was not able to find anything else about the case or the circumstances of his disappearance. The police don't seem to have done anything, and it looks as if this Grant didn't have any friends or family to make a fuss about it. I talked it over with Basira, and she agrees with me that it probably comes under Section 31. Obviously, this makes it difficult to get any real evidence for this statement, but I'm inclined to believe it anyway.

What I don't understand is why Elias would offer Ollie a job. They've made it clear that they need it, but I hardly think it's out of the kindness of his heart. (quiet, tired laugh) He's probably got some secret, evil plan for them. Some way to cripple the Spiral, perhaps. Or maybe he just wants to inflict a new and interesting kind of trauma.

Either way, I think I'll be keeping a close eye on Ollie Maverick.

End recording.

[CLICK]

[CLICK]

[SOUNDS OF SHUFFLING PAPER AND DRAWERS — A FILING CABINET? — OPENING AND SHUTTING. A DOOR OPENS.]

TIM Oh, uh — sorry, this area of the archives isn't open to the public.

OLLIE Yeah, I — I work here.

TIM In the Archives?

OLLIE Yeah, it’s my first day. My name's Ollie Maverick.

TIM Um... Tim Stoker. (pause) Sorry, what are your pronouns?

OLLIE (pleasantly surprised) They/them. You?

TIM He/him. (pause) So... you don't exactly look like the academic type.

OLLIE Says the person wearing a Hawaiian shirt to work.

TIM (laughs) No, I meant... y'know, people in this profession don't tend to be quite so buff. We're all skinny little nerds.

OLLIE Ah yes, my perfectly chiseled physique. I can see why you'd be confused. (Tim snorts) My last job was as a security guard, so...

TIM Sounds interesting.

OLLIE Well, it... didn't end well. I actually came to make a statement about it yesterday, and then your boss — Elias, I think his name was — offered me a job. For some reason.

TIM What?

OLLIE I know, right? I mean, I know jack shit about academia, but I did English in college and that was apparently good enough for him. I got the feeling that you're a little pressed for job applications.

TIM Yeah, well... I just hope you know what you're getting into.

OLLIE Oh?

TIM This place is... wrong. In a lot of ways.

OLLIE (jokingly) What, you've come across a lot of ghosts and ghoulies?

TIM I'm serious. It does things to you.

OLLIE Such as?

TIM It... won't let you quit. You can try it, but — you won't be able to.

OLLIE That all?

TIM (sigh) You'll find out soon enough, I guess. You're stuck here now.

OLLIE (pause) You're not just — messing with me?

TIM No.

OLLIE Well... fuck. (resigned sigh; pause) Out of the frying pan, into the fire. Assuming this even works.

TIM Assuming what works?

OLLIE It... doesn't matter. I guess we'll see.

TIM I guess we will.

[SILENCE]

OLLIE Hey, has — has that been running this whole time?

TIM What?

OLLIE That recorder. Did you bring it in here?

TIM Oh, for fuck's sake —

[CLICK]

#magnus archives #tma #tma fanfic #my oc #my writing #the spiral #micheal distortion #micheal my beloved #tw body horror #aubrey writes stuff

[falling-endlessly]

The Lazy Eight

Loki x Reader Drabble (Season 2)

She felt not unlike a rubber band.

One moment, enjoying the warm rays of the Indiana sunlight on her front porch, and the next moment—snap—reduced to a cluster of disassembled atoms in a gloomy void.

In a split-second, her mind had time to think: oh, crud, before an unknown force managed to gather her stray molecules and mash her back together like chewed gum.

Nora was frozen for a time. Flesh and bone was not meant to be ripped apart and put back together so violently. Her skin buzzed like a live wire. Her mind reeled with the knowledge that she’d just been separated into billions of billions of pieces like sand scattered in the ocean. It was singularly the most violating feeling she’d ever been forced to endure.

Though momentarily—or permanently frozen, Nora was fortunately not deprived of her senses. For one, the air around her was glowing green. Far, farther than her eye could see, there was green. Above and all around, it encompassed her, emanating from a twisted maze of floating branches that intertwined over and over and over again until it was impossible to tell where one started and the other ended.

She was sprawled across a jagged rock, the cold chill of it seeping into the skin of her cheek. Bent at an odd angle and forcibly immobile, Nora tried to focus on her breathing, the only bodily function she could properly control. Time passed excruciatingly, like the last drops of mollasses emptying from a carton, before she was even able to twitch her fingers again.

Trembling like a newborn, she clumsily pushed herself off of the damp ground, and then—with much concentration—to her feet.

And for a moment, she wanted nothing more than to drop back to her knees.

Because what—what the actual hell was this?

Her hazy, fragmented mind was finally putting the pieces together. This, was no place on earth.

The branches around her pulsed like a heartbeat, whispers of voices echoing in the air like radio waves, billions of them, all trying to interrupt each other, all fighting to be heard.

And then, with startling clarity, one said:

“You are not supposed to be here.”

#loki series #loki season 2 #loki #loki laufeyson #loki spoilers #loki odinson #loki show #mcu loki #loki god of stories #loki god of time #original character #original female character #loki x original female character #loki x original character #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x oc #loki x ofc #yggdrasil #tva loki #tva #time variance authority #loki who remains #time slipping #drabble #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #marvel mcu #mcu fanfiction

[total-drama-takes-takes-2]

aftermath 2

A dark blue, fish-eyed globe turns itself across the screen, starting in Canada and traveling eastwards around the world. Five words flash over the globe: TOTAL - TAKES - WORLD - TOUR - AFTERMATH!

A static flash to Wales, on the countryside. 

---

Julia hangs at the back of the group, watching the two up front. Mal darts into frame for a moment, running around her ankles and barking before circling the group once again. 

The sound of laughter and sheep appears from behind the team and Julia turns a bit to catch a glimpse of Team Mojo following them up the crest, sheep in line and following Sha-Mod and Patrick in the front. 

The latter grins and waves as they pass by. “See you at the finish line, sweetie!”

Julia grimaces, but waits til the team disappears up ahead to make comment. 

“I hate that guy,”

---

Then to Australia, in the rainforest:

---

It’s dark. 

The sound of bugs flying, mammals chittering, and birds crying out fills the empty air. 

Slowly, Sha-Mod awakes. He groans and sits up, scratching his head with his back to the camera. “Owie,” he says. 

Then, it’s bright. Too bright. 

“Wait,” he grabs at his face. The feeling of warm flesh fills the void where smooth paper should be. Sha-Mod looks to the ground and sees the mulchy, emulsified remains of Lighting crumbled on the ground. “Oh, no. Oh no. This isn’t good.”

---

The Title Card flashes again and fades into a pink, warm-lit studio. Unlike last season’s aftermath, this peanut gallery is sparse and empty. O picks at his nails absent-mindedly, Alistair waves and flashes a pearly grin, Scary is holding a large book over their face and avoiding the glare of the cameras as they zoom in. Beneath them, the so-far eliminated contestants who bothered to show- Joner and Scruffy. 

But no one directs the attention of both the cameras and the audience like the navy-blue haired, sharply dressed pastel puff standing in the center of the stage. Caesar waves at the adoring crowd, soaking in the attention like a flower takes in the sun. And by the looks of it, he needs the vitamin D- he’s rather pale and tired-looking for someone of his sunny disposition. Behind him, on the pink couch in the center of the stage, a moody-looking teenage boy is on his phone, leaning back against the sofa with his legs kicked up. He pulls a wad of chewed gum out of his mouth and wipes it on the couch. Caesar cringes. 

“Welcome one, welcome all, to another riveting episode of Total Takes World Tour: The Aftermath! I’m your host, Caesar, and behind me is my… unique co-host. Noco,” he seems to go tense at the name, as if a shiver is running up his spine. “We have a very special episode for you today, folks, so stay tuned for drama, drama, and more drama!”

“Whoop-dee-doo,” Noco says unenthusiastically, twirling his finger in a little circle. Caesar grits his teeth. 

“Joining us today are our charming peanut gallery- O, Alistair- formerly known as Fren- Scary, Joner, Scruffy, and- hm. McLovin?” Caesar looks around the stage. “Has anyone seen McLovin?”

“McLovin is busy preparing this super secret awesome surprise for the fundraiser!” Joner chimes in. “I’m the lookout- I mean! He’s busy! Aw, man…”

Scruffy pats his shoulder. “You did your best,”

“Ahem, well… speaking of the fundraiser, this isn’t just any episode of Aftermath… today, we’re sending out an S.O.S. for our stranded friends,” Caesar says, pacing the stage. He speaks in long, dramatic drawls. “Stuck on a remote island in the middle of the Atlantic, not a penny to be spared.”

The peanut gallery sighs, and the audience aw’s. 

“Oh, can we cut the crap?” Noco yawns and sits up, turning on the monitor behind him to a live broadcast on St. Helena. The World Tour contestants are lounging on the beaches, enjoying provisions from first class, and playing tag in the fields. Chris and Chef toast to a much-needed vacation in their inflatable pool. 

Caesar rushes over and flicks off the screen. “Like I said- tragic!” 

“Listen, folks…” Noco says, standing in front of Caesar. “This whole episode is nothing but corporate pressure from the big wigs upstairs. The producers are too cheap to pay it out of their own fat pockets, and now they’re scamming us into believing that the cast is dying in some desert.”

“They’re stranded on an island. Together! I couldn’t imagine a worse fate. And Bonnie is all alone…” the host looks down warily, fidgeting with his bow tie. 

“Oh, please. A break from the script is a paradise. I would be relieved to know the charade is over. Max and Julia-”

Caesar begrudgingly pulls a small remote from his coat and presses the large red button on its surface. An extremely loud incorrect buzzer paralyzes the audience for a split-second. Noco falls backwards. 

“Alright, enough of that. Now, with your help, we can raise the necessary funds to save our stranded friends. Donate by calling the number below, or send your checks to the Aftermath Inbox,” Caesar says, pointing as a graphic flashes across the bottom of the screen. 

Across the stage, the peanut gallery pulls out landlines from under their seats. O gives Caesar a thumbs-up. 

“For our first telethon act, we have the one, the only: Takes Three Trio!” Caesar announces, backing away from the center of the stage as the lights dim. 

A single spotlight illuminates three figures in matching tracksuits. Sha-Mod, in blue, stands on the far left, nodding solemnly. Joner, in green, mirrors him on the right, staring up at the ceiling. McLovin, in pink, takes center stage. A single tear rolls down his cheek. 

Caesar mumbles “Oh, brother,” as a beat begins playing. 

Joner starts. “Our friends, you need to save- our friends, you gotta tell, our friends- that you care!”

Sha-Mod picks up. “St. Helena, they’re trapped down in: St. Helena. They can’t even- Sha-Party. It’s so unfair!”

“You gotta help now, they’re on the brink,” McLovin vocalizes. “The crew gets fired, if this ship sinks!”

“So make a difference- in their lives!” Joner says. 

All three harmonize on the next line. “Empty your wallets or they all die,”

Caesar cringes as Sha-Mod picks up from there. “Saaaaave this show! Total Takes!”

“Saaaaaaaaaave this show! Don’t let them escape!” McLovin sings. 

“Save the show that you love!” the three harmonzie again. 

A tear rolls down Joner’s cheek. “Saaave this show- Total Takes!”

“Saaaave this show- don’t forsake- Them,” McLovin continues awkwardly. 

“Save our friends with love… and one-hundred thousand dollars!”

Sha-Mod flips on a pair of sunglasses. “Save the show, baby. Send us your money. Please. Send us money,”

The lights turn back on and Caesar clears his throat. “That was… um, grim?”

“Thank you!” McLovin beams. 

“Oookay. Speaking of the Takes Three Trio, Sha-Mod: as the first booted contestant since the last Aftermath, would you do the honors of announcing our prizes?”

Sha-Mod pulls out a card and clears his throat. “For a donation of $25, you’ll get a, um… does this say a lock of hair from the contestant of your choosing?”

“Okay!” Caesar laughs, nabbing the cards from his hands. He leans into Noco. “I thought we agreed no body parts!”

“Do you want donations or not?”

Caesar thinks for a moment and then grumbles to himself. “And for a donation of $50, you’ll get a commemorative DVD copy of the first season of Total Takes Island!” The audience cheers. “For one hundred, you’ll get a personal shoutout on the Total Takes official blog!”

The audience whoops and hollers again. Scary peers over the edge of her book and rolls his eyes. 

“And for the low, low donation of $5, you’ll get… a signed folder of proof that Total Takes is scripted?” Caesar squints at the cue card. “ISAAC!”

The gloomy boy grins and shrugs. “I figured someone would bite. I mean, hey- the proof is in the pudding,”

O leans into Alistair. “I hate when he smiles. It scares me,”

The pink-haired actor nods in agreement. 

Caesar glares. “Fine. Whatever! For the price of $200, you’ll get a blind date with none other than our beloathed co-host, Noco!”

Noco’s smile drops. “Huh?”

The phones begin ringing off the hook, filling the air with the sharp sound of bells. Caesar scoffs. “Imagine that,”

“To be fair, the dark and mysterious “bad boy” look is really popular,” Scruffy says, matter-of-factly. “Noco is really popular in my superfan Discord server.”

The host rolls his eyes. Peter stands suddenly, clutching the landline receiver in his sweaty palms. “Um, I have about six different people with $200 donations. What do I do?”

“Yeah, we’re out of hold space here, man!” O yells. 

“Then it’s a bidding war! Starting price, $200!”

“You-you can’t do that-! I hate romance! I hate happiness! No one should want to “date” me!” Noco interjects, shoving a finger in Caesar’s face. He swats it away. 

“Tough luck. Let’s see those numbers!” 

The monitor drops from the ceiling again and crackles to life, displaying a whirl of flashing numbers, climbing up to the thousands faster than they can count. Noco shrivels like a grape in the sun. 

“While the fans battle it out, let’s have another special guest on stage to boost these numbers. You may know him as the Princess of Total Takes- or the dunce! Ladies and gentlemen, Patrick!” 

Patrick walks out on stage, stiff and unhappy. He glares sharply at Caesar before taking a seat, his legs neatly crossed. 

“Welcome to the show, Patrick, we’re glad to have you. Can I offer you something? Water? Tea? First aid?”

The audience laughs and Patrick scoffs. 

“Whatever,”

Caesar clears his throat and winks at the audience, who laughs in turn. “So, you’ve had quite the rough season, haven’t you?”

“As if. I was just getting warmed up, and they gave me the boot! They don’t know what they’re missing- Team Mojo just lost its most valuable player!” Patrick snaps, holding out a petite porcelain teacup for an intern to fill with warm water. “Those two kittens won’t last a day without me, I- honey, not sugar. I’m watching my complexion- I’m unexpendable! It should’ve been that cupcake, Albert.”

The audience Ooh’s. Caesar chuckles. “Yes, yes- word on the street is that you two weren’t the best of friends. And yet you never rigged the votes to get him kicked from the game?”

Patrick raises an eyebrow. “Rigged the votes? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, you know, you… you rigged the votes in season one, and you rigged them to get Sha-Mod booted…”

The camera pans over to the Takes Three Trio, who all shake their heads in a disapproving fashion. Patrick takes a long sip from his teacup. 

“Listen, Bluebell, I don’t know who you’re getting your info from, but I didn’t do any “rigging”. A guy like me doesn’t have to play dirty- if everyone knows what’s best for them, they stay outta my way!” 

Caesar raises an eyebrow. “Wait, so… you didn’t rig the votes against Fren in Island?”

“Who is Fren?”

“My, my… with the irrefutable evidence of tampering, this means there’s an entirely different- possibly two different traitors in our midsts!” the host says, prompting the audience and peanut gallery (nix Scary) to gasp. “Scruffy- our resident TD expert- any thoughts?”

Scruffy scratches their chin, looking around for a few moments. “I can’t believe I never considered… I suppose I was just so caught up with Jules…”

“Don’t remind me,” Patrick grumbles, delicately holding his cup. 

“Oh, speaking of which…” Caesar says, checking his watch. “It’s time for our next segment- Who Dumped Who? And make sure to keep those donations rolling in!”

The monitor lowers again, turning on and focusing on the image of Patrick and Julia through a restaurant window. The audio is unintelligible, but within seconds, she’s throwing a fistful of spaghetti at his face. 

A faint ding sounds. “That’s one breakup for Julia!”

Another scene starts, this time of the two smiling awkwardly for a fan picture on the street. The fangirl snaps a selfie with them and walks away, and the two immediately burst into an argument. Patrick shouts something indistinct and storms off (into oncoming traffic, where he’s hit by a bus). 

“That’s one for Patrick!”

Another segment plays, this time of the two in the peanut gallery in the aftermath studio, already bickering about something while Ass and Courtney cover their ears from the row beneath them. Julia shoves Patrick off the benches and he falls into the audience with a shriek. 

“Another for Julia!”

Before the next clip can play, the sound of revving pulls everyone’s attention to the side of the studio. Caesar raises an eyebrow. “Um, what’s-”

Two massive ramps have been set up on either side of the room. McLovin is on the left, revving a motorcycle. He’s dressed in a white suit with a matching helmet. Caesar’s jaw drops. 

“See? Surprise!” Joner says. 

“If I die, everyone has to donate double!” McLovin shouts, flipping his visor down. 

“Wait- WAIT!” Caesar shouts. But it’s too late. 

McLovin speeds off, climbing one of the ramps at a speed faster than the cameras can capture and flying through the air. 

It lasts all of two seconds before he smacks into a ceiling tile and falls dead-center in the stage. Drywall showers on him like rain made out of asbestos and chunks of roof. 

Caesar stares. The audience falls silent. 

He turns to the counter on the monitor. The numbers are still for a moment- and then shoot up. The host sighs with relief, and the audience cheers. 

Sha-Mod and Joner rush over and help McLovin out of the rubble while he grins.

“Awesome,” he says. A tooth falls out of his mouth. 

Caesar wipes the sweat off his forehead and sits back on the couch. The lights overhead flicker and some more drywall dust falls from the ceiling. He swipes it off his shoulder. 

“Why so tense? You’re not the one going on a date with some happy-go-lucky rando!” Noco snaps. Caesar ignores him. “Ohhh, I see. Now this I can get behind.”

Noco stands, grinning. “Feeling miserable? Helpless? I’m your guy! For a donation of $1000, I’ll psychologically torture the cast member of your choice! Cough, cough- CAESAR!”

The phones begin ringing again, and the tally counter soars. Noco grins maliciously. 

“Now, I’m no theracologist or whatever,” he says, gesturing towards O, who glares. “But if I had to guess, I’d say Bonnie being stuck in that terrible place all by themselves is really bothering you, right? Knowing that they’re all alone? Even worse- that they’re being singled out and picked on because of your relationship?”

Caesar shifts uncomfortably. “I don’t know what you’re-”

“Don’t play dumb!” Noco scoffs. “This whole control freak thing is just you making up for how helpless you feel. You’re positively miserable! This is great!”

He claps his hands quickly and squeals. Caesar glares at him. The tally counter rises, and rises, until a loud siren blares. 

“And with that, it looks like we’ve reached our goal,” the host announces. “Time to see who bid the highest for a beautiful, romantic, sweet, and ENDEARING evening with Noco!”

Noco’s smile drops and he goes pale again. “There’s… no way anyone actually-”

“At a bidding price of $60,000, Noco will be going on a date with… Becky from Vancouver!” Caesar reads off the monitor, a smile creeping back on his face. “Let’s get Becky on call!”

The screen crackles to life and focuses on the image of a pretty girl in a pink outfit with a blonde ponytail. She squeals, clutching a unicorn plush in her lap. “OMG! I won! My Daddy is like, never going to forgive me for maxxing his credit card, but it’s worth it!” she screeches. Noco looks sick. “Ohmigosh, Noco looks JUST like my favorite Twilight character, I can’t wait! EEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Caesar grins widely as Noco scampers away, a few security guards close behind him. 

“That’s enough of that,” the host says. “And it looks like we’ve hit our quota just in time, too! That’s all for today, folks- catch Total Takes: World Tour on your nearest TV soon! Good night, everyone!”

#total takes world tour #aftermath

[echolocati0n-art]

my dsmp , qsmp , empires , hermitcraft, etc headcanons because im insane

when c!puffychu are cuddling sometimes c!niki has to come up for air because c!puffys hair is just like, very curly/wool like and in the summer they have to turn on the ac to max, very nice in the winter tho

katherine would own a motorcycle but specifically in season 2 of empires and it would be painted half pink with glitter and the other side black with spikes

c!fundy makes a contraption where c!phil is able to use his wing again, that plus the syndicate helping him do physical therapy, he is able to fly again

the dream smp did not end badly fuck that ending they all live happily ever after

life series pearl tends to pick her nails a lot/bite them and tends to have a lot of bandaids on her hands, especially after the events of double life it got so much worse, in limlife, she kept doing it and big b would help bandage her hands and when he noticed her doing it, would give her a stick of gum or something to chew on + distract her or even they would paint eachothers nails

A CHEW TOY AHAHAHA werewolf pearl agenda

froggy is liml!pearl's PTSD ESA 👍

c!fundy is transmasc and c!quackity once had a lot on his mind and c!fundy happened to be shirtless, he saw the top surgery scars and was like "who did this to you", he still gets made fun of for it

avians (grian , jimmy, whoever else with fanon wings idk im too tired) cannot fly in the life series as the watches make their wings smaller to stop them from having an advantage / flying away but they can glide down hills and short distances, if they panic whilst falling they cant catch themselves

shelby and oli are swifties

in empires s1, both scott and xornoth have trouble walking through doors because of their antlers. Like xornoth will be chasing someone or something then he just hits the doorframe with a CLANG or scott will be trying to get outside and he just gets stuck and has to get someone to free him

speaking of those antlers my own hc is that when scott found the book in that tomb, he went from a regular elf to having the antlers and like deer ears / deer hybrid thing, during his elsa arc he shed them / he sawed them off because he felt he wasnt worthy but they grew back and sometimes have icicles hanging off them

jimmy hates the crust on sandwiches in all universes

c!purpled and c!punz are brothers, or at least sort of, c!purpled is an alien who crash landed on earth at like 5 years old and tiny 10 year old c!punz found him and they became very close, c!punz taught him earth culture

i loved that hc of lmanburg having a different language and using it to communicate and their own culture and such, for some reason I very much imagine it as french

no one speaks it anymore but when frustrated or excited you may find former members of lmanburg using it / they have slight accents

c!schlatt banned them from speaking said language so c!niki used it to spite him specifically

c!niki also shouldve lost a life during that festival she was beat to death by c!ponk under order of c!schlatt WHY ISNT THAT CANON!!

Tallulah loves the movie Tarzan and q wilbur really regrets showing it to her because. gorilla

qsmp has access to tv streaming services and the internet, chayanne and bobby love action movies but q phil chooses what he watches very carefully, tallulah and richarlyson are OBSESSED with bluey, dapper loves nature/informative documentaries, leonarda and ramon i feel would be a huge fan of nickelodeon, tilin used to love peppa pig, juanaflippa preferred to read

bobby has adhd because i said so he is a little ball of insanity

jaiden with the conure wings you already know

cellbit drinks an insane amount of high caffeine coffee, he started to have heard palpitations from it. The other portugese speaking people had an intervention

forever gives me ashfur vibes idk with the i love you philza you broke my heart

hcs9 impulse forgets to sleep because hes underground / inside a lot and doesnt see the sun, when he stays awake purposely to get work done gem and/or pearl will march him to the nearest bed and sit there until he is asleep

there were times where scott didnt feel safe at home because of xornoth so he would sleep in other empires, he felt safest in the cod empires because of jimmy (not because jimmy was strong but because gay people)

same with shrub, she would often end up in the overgrown napping in katherines castle

gem and fwhip are identical twins but it's impossible for there to be opposite gender/sex (?) identical twins so basically: transfem gem

thats it for now i am eepy but hope you all enjoy

#dream smp #empires smp #mcyt #qsmp #dsmp #empiresshipping #life series #third life #last life #double life #limited life #hermitcraft

[1980sactionfigures]

MORE EBAY AUCTIONS

Hi, everyone - I am in a horrific financial situation at the moment and am letting my entire collection of, well, everything go. Here are some of the auctions I have up right now, great Christmas gifts abound:

I am selling a massive part of my animation collection on DVD including tons of RARE and OUT-OF-PRINT titles! The combined amount for these are several hundred dollars more than my Buy It Now or Starting Bid!

Also letting go of a large amount of my DISNEY Treasures and Legacy Collection sets! Again, many are out of print and rare!

Have a MSTie in your life you want to get something for? A signed 1997 Calendar, autographed by five of the cast members PLUS over a dozen MST3K, RIFFTRAX and CINEMATIC TITANIC DVDs!

Halloween may be over, but it doesn't have to be if you decorate your entire place with these 13 movie posters based on the works of STEPHEN KING!

One of the coolest MOTU Knock-off lines, I'm offering a giant collection of IMPERIAL TOYS' DRAGONS KNIGHTS AND DAGGERS! Beasts! Weapons! Chariots!

A huge collection of GODZILLA collectibles!

From the 1970s through the 2000s, over 1300 trading cards based on movies and TV most in great shape!

#ebay #toys #godzilla #mst3k #disney #cartoons #mego #stephen king #wonder woman