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superlarva · 9 months

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They're totally paying attention! :)

Welp, I'm starting to think I don't know what day Sunday is...

Regardless, here's Chapter 9 - School Visit of Raising Dominoes.

Prologue: 00 Previous chapter: 08 Next chapter: 10

Summary: Rex and Fives visit the local elementary school.

CW: Implied/referenced child abuse, a very minor curse (I wouldn't really consider it a curse, but just to be careful... also, it's said in narration, not dialogue)

Chapter 9 – School Visit

“I want to see Echo.”

“I know, bud,” Rex sighed, trying not to let the exasperation show in his voice.

Fives had been at it since he woke, refusing to move, eat, or say anything that did not express his want for his twin. Now they sat in the elementary school parking lot, two hours late for their appointment with the principal.

“Fives?”

The boy did not stir from his position curled up in his car seat.

“Fives, look at me,” Rex said, exhaustion allowing some of his usual sternness to slip into his tone.

The kid’s shoulders tensed and his eyes reluctantly wandered over to Rex’s.

“We are going to go see Echo as soon as his doctor tells me it’s safe to see him, okay?”

“Want Echo n-now,” Fives whispered.

His words lacked the high-pitched whiney quality Rex had been expecting and he blinked dumbly, taken aback. The last thing Rex wanted to do was keep the brothers apart. He knew the feeling that accompanied the separation from one you admire, trust, need. He knew the feeling well, and he would not wish it on his worst enemy, let alone his child.

Rex slumped back into the seat and began unconsciously picking at the sleeve of his jacket, mind whirring and leg bouncing erratically, “When- when I was your age, me and your Uncle Cody—er, Cody and I—we, uh, didn’t really have a mom or dad to take care of us.”

Rex paused to take a breath, still unsure where exactly he was going with this story. He could feel Fives’s eyes boring into him and he squirmed, unable to meet the boy’s gaze, “We got sent to a lot of different homes where different people would, uh, take care of us, but sometimes… sometimes they would split us up. Sometimes we wouldn’t go together.”

Rex stole a quick glance at Fives. The boy was staring, waiting for him to continue. Rex attempted a smile, but could not help but feel like it more resembled a grimace. He sighed, hands moving to fidget with the zipper of his jacket, “Every time they separated us, I felt so lost and powerless. There was nothing- nothing I could do, and I never knew when I would be able to see Cody again. And- and I hated it. It was the worst feeling.”

Rex turned to meet Fives’s eyes, “So, I get it. I really do. I know you want to see Echo. I want to see him too. If I could do anything I wanted, I’d bring you to him right now.”

“…you would?” Fives asked, voice barely above a whisper.

“I would.”

“I-I don’t want to go without Echo,” Fives mumbled, turning his attention towards the elementary school.

“We have to go take a look at the school because I told them we were coming and they are all super excited to meet you,” Rex said, starting to regret his decision to not include Fives when he and Cody called the school to set up a meeting and tour. “It’s going to be really fun. They’re going to show you around and tell you about all the cool things you’re going to learn.”

Fives made a face, “Echo should be here. Not me.”

Rex felt as if he had just been stabbed in the heart, “No. No, you should be here.”

Fives scoffed and turned his head so his face was obscured from Rex’s view.

“No, Fives, listen to me. You should be here. Echo should be here too, but you should be here. I- you-” Rex sighed, letting his head fall into his hands. He wished Cody were here. He would know what to say.

Cut would know what to say too. He had kids. Little rascals, if Rex remembered correctly. He had to make everything into a game for those kids to do anything. Putting away dishes: who can stack them the neatest? Time to get in the car: who can get there the fastest?

A game.

Of course.

Rex lifted his head out of his hands, “If we go in and take the tour and you remember what they tell you, then when we go see Echo this weekend, you can tell him all about it. Think he would like that?”

Fives turned to face Rex again and hesitated, eyes searching Rex’s for something, before nodding seriously.

Rex smiled, “Sounds like a deal.”

The secretary had them wait on a bench outside the principal’s office until he was ready for them. Given the fact that they had arrived later than expected, Rex had thought the principal would leave them waiting, but almost as soon as they sat, the door opened.

“Good afternoon, young one. I am Mr. Plo Koon,” A tall man that Rex recognized as the principal of the school greeted, smiling down fondly at Fives.

The boy jumped to his feet and stood stiff as a board, almost as if he were standing at attention, “G-good afternoon, Mr. Plo Koon, s-sir.”

The principal’s smile deepened, “My, what lovely manners. You must be Fives?”

Fives nodded, “Yes, sir.”

“Many of the students here call me Mr. Plo, but ‘Mr. Plo Koon’ or ‘sir’ is alright too if that’s what you’re comfortable with.”

“Oh-Okay Mr.- Mr.-” Fives looked up at Rex uncertainly.

Rex nodded and smiled encouragingly.

Fives turned back to the principal, “Okay, Mr. Plo.”

“Very good,” Plo said, beaming down at Fives and clasping his hands together. He then shut the door to his office and began leading them down the hall, “Shall we begin our tour?”

The school was nice. It had clearly been remodeled a few years ago as it had a very modern interior design and was relatively free from wear and tear that would denote that it was the home of tiny grade schoolers for eight hours a day.

They were shown the cafeteria, auditorium, gym, library, and the rooms for the various different extracurricular activities like art and music, all of which Fives marveled at for their large open spaces, walls and walls of books, or amenities.

Mr. Plo was clearly taking pleasure in Fives’s wonder and Rex could not help but enjoy the boy’s delight as well. He was glad that the tour had allowed his mind to wander from Echo, even if just for the good part of an hour.

At the end of the tour, they circled back around and stopped outside of one of the classrooms they had passed on the way to the library. Plo turned to address Rex and Fives, “This one of our second-grade classrooms. If you want, the teacher of this class volunteered to let us sit in on a few minutes so that you could see what it would be like to go here. Would you like that?”

Fives nodded eagerly.

The principal smiled and opened the door. Fives bounded in after him and Rex followed quickly, pulling the door shut behind them.

When Rex looked up he found a class full of 7 year old twisting around in their desks trying to get a good look at him and Fives. The class was eerily quiet and Rex was thankful when the teacher standing at the front broke the silence, “Good afternoon, Principal Plo.”

Mr. Plo nodded, “Good afternoon, 99. Good afternoon, second grade.”

The teacher—99—led the class in a chorus of “Good afternoon, Principal Plo” as Plo ushered them to an empty table in the corner of the class.

Once they were seated, 99 resumed his lesson and Rex scanned the classroom. It was as well put together as the rest of the school. It was bright and colorful, and there was plenty of stimulus for young children.

Rex also got a better look at 99. At first from his voice, stature, and the wrinkles lining his face, Rex had thought the man old like his name, but as he looked closer, he realized the man was not elderly, just had some sort of facial deformity. Perhaps a muscle one as well, as he looked awfully thin and hunched over oddly as he walked.

The children in the class appeared to be engaged and attentive, save for a group of similar-looking boys in the other back corner.

The big bald boy was playing with a toy half hidden under his desk, his face lighting up with joy occasionally from his own, internal musings. His stature was intimidating for a seven-year-old, but such an innocence played out in his eyes that Rex had to believe the kid would not hurt a fly. At least, not on purpose.

The second boy had long wavy hair, pushed back by a red bandana. He was staring out the window, boredom etched across his features. Rex thought he looked a little like Cody when he was fed up someone’s bullshit.

The scrawny one with glasses appeared to be scribbling notes in the margins of a book. He might have been taking notes on 99’s instructions, but Rex doubted it, as no other children had books out to take notes in and the boy was hunched over it like it was the only thing that existed.

The fourth boy was sleeping. Wispy white hair sticking out in all directions as his head rested on his folded arms across the desk. Even through the oversized hoodie Rex could tell by the boy’s pointy elbows that he practically had Fives and Echo beat for the “most emaciated kid of the week” award.

Mr. Plo noticed the direction of Rex’s gaze and gave him a small nudge, “Those are the quadruplets. They transferred here this year. Bit of a special case, those boys. Not so different from yours, perhaps.”

Rex took one last look at the brothers before turning his attention back to 99’s mini lecture. He hoped Fives and Echo would behave differently from those boys at school. He hoped they would at least try to pay attention.

After sitting in on 99’s lesson, Mr. Plo lead them back to his office and had them sit across the desk from him. He laced his fingers together and leaned his elbows on the desk, smiling warmly at Fives, “Did you enjoy the tour?”

The boy nodded, “Mm-hmm!”

“I’m glad,” Plo glanced quickly over at Rex, then turned his attention back to Fives, “Now, your father told me that you’ve never been to school before, is that true?”

Fives looked to Rex before cautiously letting out a small “uh-huh.”

“Okay, that’s alright. Would it be okay if I asked you a few questions?”

“What kind of questions?”

“Well, your dad told me you were really good at math, so I wanted to ask you some math questions. Then we might play a couple games. Is that alright?”

Fives’s brow crinkled and his eyes darted between Mr. Plo and Rex. From the look Rex didn’t doubt Fives knew this was a test, but the boy eventually shrugged and muttered a quiet affirmative.

Fives made it all the way through to multiplication before he started having problems answering the principal’s questions. He clearly did not know his times tables, but from what Rex could remember, that still meant he was on track for second grade.

After the math questions Mr. Plo pulled out a few logic puzzles and had Fives complete them. Fives seemed to do so without difficulty, filling in the picture with the correct puzzle pieces and picking the right color to finish the pattern.

The principal seemed quite pleased with the boy as he put the puzzles away, “You did a very good job, Fives. I just have one more question for you if that’s okay.”

Fives nodded, though Rex could not help but notice that the kid looked tired.

Mr. Plo slid a piece of paper and a pencil across the table, “Could you write your name for me?”

The boy visibly deflated a bit, but he said nothing and reached out, gripping the pencil awkwardly. At first Rex had no clue what Fives was writing; the lines were large and wobbly, curving in places they should not. By the time the boy got to the second vaguely “s” shaped letter, Rex realized what “name” he had been writing and reached out gently to still Fives’s arm.

Large brown eyes looked up at Rex in confusion.

“Fives…” Rex started softly, “That’s your other name. Could you spell ‘Fives’ for us?”

Fives squirmed in his seat, looking down at the paper for a long moment before meeting Rex’s eyes, “This is the only one I’ve seen before.”

“Okay, that’s okay,” Rex whispered, and he honestly was not sure if that was for his son’s benefit or his own. He reached out and flipped the paper over, “Do you know what letter ‘Fives’ starts with?”

The boy opened his mouth to respond, but no sound came out. The room was so quiet Rex could practically hear the tears welling in Fives’s eyes before he saw them. He sprung into action, scooping up the already shaking boy and shushing him softly, hoping to stay the torrent of “I’m sorry”s that were sure to follow.

“It’s okay,” Rex soothed, shooting an apologetic look to Plo before turning his attention back to Fives. “It’s alright if you don’t know. Nobody’s mad. I’m not mad. Mr. Plo’s not mad. It’s okay.”

Fives sniffled against Rex, but Rex could tell the boy was already calming down, his breathing slowing to his usual rhythm.

Rex set Fives back down in his seat, but kept his hand on the boy's shoulder, “Today was a tough day, but you did a really good job, okay? A really good job. I’m proud of you.”

Fives wiped at his eyes, his ears turning a bit red as he mumbled a shy thanks.

Mr. Plo cleared his throat, “Thank you so much for answering my questions, Fives.”

The boy nodded.

Plo continued, “I would like to place you in the class that we sat in on today, if that sounds good to you. The other children will be your age and will be on similar levels in most subjects.”

The principal paused and studied Fives, “Now, Fives, you’re a smart boy and you’re probably going to notice that the other kids in your class are better at reading than you, but can I tell you a secret?”

Fives frowned and looked from Rex to Mr. Plo.

Plo leaned over the desk and lowered his voice conspiratorially, “Your intuition and logic skills are beyond those of many children twice your age.”

Fives shifted in his seat, “R-really?”

The principal nodded, “It’s quite impressive. You'll be reading in no time.”

Fives left the school with higher spirits than when he had entered and that was enough to convince Rex it was the right place to send the twins. As he was setting up for Fives to start the next week and for Echo to start after the holiday break his phone rang.

It was Kix.

"What?" Fives asked after Rex hung up.

Rex smiled, "Go get in the car, we're going to go see your brother."

@marierg @stressed-cherry @ffdemon @renton6echo @bambambunny @tearfulsolace @rndmpeep @brokenphoenix99 @nerdy-valkyrie @xylionet @tazmbc1 @eyayah123 @the-bad-batch-baroness @sarcastic-nebula @ihaventpickedausername @sexysmeagolshitposting @emma-1409 @marcadamia

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hellish-sunsets · 2 months

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Curses and Blessings - Chapter 6

Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5 ~ Chapter 7 ~ Chapter 8 ~ Chapter 9

Summary:

Now, Y/N was left with a decision. Leave like Charlie asked and not cause any trouble but leave the poor girl struggling alone, or go in anyways and possibly cause problems but also possibly help her out.

Don't be a burden, or help Charlie.

She took a deep breath and opened the door a crack.

Read on AO3

Word Count: 1,584

Taglist:

@cherry-4200 @adaizel @kyo-kyo1 @elleofdragons @snoozewritezz

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The meeting with heaven did not go well.

Everyone had gone out to a club while Charlie and Vaggie left for the meeting. All except for Y/N, who couldn’t stand the crowds. Which meant she was the one at the hotel when the girls came back, clearly upset. Charlie ran off to her room with tears in her eyes, leaving Vaggie behind, downcast.

She hesitated, unsure if she should interfere. She would probably just mess it up. Vaggie slouched onto the foyer couch, cradling her head in her hands.

Yeah, she was going to do something.

She tried to be quiet as she padded over to the couch, settling beside the other woman. After a few moments, she placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Do you… want to talk about it?”

Vaggie didn’t respond at first, but eventually shook her head. She nodded her acceptance, and for the longest time they just sat there. Vaggie only got up and left when the others got back from the club. They could hear the group long before they arrived and Vaggie was quick to wipe the tears from her face and pretend like everything was okay, just long enough to get the fuck out of there. The others didn’t even notice as they went to their own rooms for the night. Angel gave her a wave as they passed and she gave a half-hearted wave back.

Charlie didn't leave her room the following morning, and it looked like Vaggie had slept elsewhere. That wasn't a good sign. Clearly Vaggie was uninterested in sharing what had happened. If she wanted info she would have to talk to Charlie.

She made some tea first, chamomile. She had heard somewhere that chamomile was good for relaxing. And maybe she should add some fruit too, since Charlie missed breakfast. Satisfied with her work, she loaded the bowl of fruit and mug of tea onto a platter that was laying around and made her way upstairs. If she remembered correctly, Charlie's room was on the top floor. Thankfully, it was pretty easy to find. There was a sign and everything, because of course there was.

She balanced the tray on one hip and knocked on the door. For a moment, there was no answer.

“Please, leave me alone!” Came Charlie's voice, a little wobbly.

Don't be a burden, or help Charlie.

She took a deep breath and opened the door a crack. Charlie’s room was nice, only slightly larger than the other rooms. Her bed was in the middle and, based on the lump in the middle of it, was where Charlie was. She was clearly curled up under the covers, shifting only slightly when she heard the door open.

Y/N closed the door behind herself as she entered and approached the bed, placing the platter on a side table with a quiet clink. She settled on the edge of the bed, next to the Charlie lump.

A moment passed in silence.

“So… want to talk about it? I have tea.”

After a moment, the lump under the covers shifted, revealing Charlie’s very sad and tear stained face. She reached for the tea and forced herself to sit up, the cover still over her head and around her shoulders. She didn’t drink her tea, though, just held the warm mug in her hands. She took a deep, shaky breath.

“The meeting didn’t go well…” She started, and Y/N nodded.

“I expected as much. What happened, hun? Heaven said no?”

Charlie sighed.

“Well, yeah, they said no. Then Adam decided, hey, fuck you, we’re attacking the hotel first! So there goes everything you tried to work for, now all your friends are in danger!” She said in a forced cheerful tone, a slightly psychotic sounded laugh slipping from her lips.

Y/N just hummed.

“Everyone is depending on me, and I’ve just let them down. Now they could get hurt or worse because of me.” Charlie put her mug down to pull the blanket over her head and flop onto her side.

“I mean, I personally blame Adam more than you. You’re just trying your best.” She offered, but Charlie just groaned under her blankets. “... are we looking for answers or comfort here?”

There was a pause, then Charlie peered out from under her blankets with a confused look. “What?”

“Just right now, do you want words of comfort or a brainstorming session?”

She thought a moment, sitting back up again with a genuine, thoughtful look on her face, seriously debating her choices. “... I need solutions. I’ve got to keep everyone safe.”

Y/N gave a satisfied smile and a nod. “Alright, hun. Why don’t we get everyone together downstairs and brainstorm together downstairs, or we can do a one one one first.”

Charlie winced. “I’m… not sure I’m ready to face them yet…”

“Alright hun, let’s get thinking. How do we defeat an angel?”

“We can’t!” Charlie all but shouted, burying her head in her hands.

“Well, that can’t be true. Everybody’s got a weakness. They’re probably just hiding it or something.” She said with a wave of her hand. Several long minutes passed as they tried to think about it. Eventually, Y/N spoke up again. “What… how do they kill sinners? I don’t really know much about how all this works, but I swear I saw a guy get cut in half once and he just got better. We seem pretty fucking durable, but they manage to kill us all the time, apparently.”

Charlie sniffled, rubbing at her eyes with a frown. “I don’t know. Angelic powers or something… I think? Maybe it’s the weapons?”

“That’s a good start. Angelic weapons… Do they ever leave any behind?” She shrugs.

“Sometimes, I think? Vaggie said that’s… where she got hers…” She deflated even more, if that was possible. Y/N narrowed her eyes at that.

“Alright hun, we’ll collect some weapons and see if that works. It’s at least the start of a plan to bring to the others, and we have the month to get ready. Things will work out, right.” She reached over to place a hand on Charlie’s shoulder, earning a smile in return.

“You’re right, we can work through this together! Thanks, Y/N… this helped a lot…” She gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze before dropping her hands in her lap out of the way.

“Now, what else aren’t you telling me?”

Charlie’s face grew a bit red and she looked away, forcing a smile on her face. “Oh, nothing! It’s just… this upcoming extermination is getting really, really stressful, you know?”

“Yeah, it is… And I get it, but there’s clearly something else on your mind.”

Charlie shook her head with a little sound, like she was pretending everything was just fine! Nothing going on here! She wasn’t nearly as good at it as Lucifer was. She stared Charlie down with an unimpressed look, and after a few minutes she wilted, curling into herself.

“... it’s Vaggie.” She finally said with the most downtrodden sigh. “During the meeting, I sort of found out… that before, she was an Exorcist.” Charlie paused to take a deep breath.

“... she was?”

“Apparently! And she never even told me!” Charlie threw her arms up suddenly in exasperation, tossing the blanket off and almost hitting Y/N, not that she noticed, too caught up in her emotions. “It feels like she doesn't even trust me! I thought… I thought our relationship was stronger than that… We’re matches! I trust her with everything! But somehow she couldn’t tell me this?” She buried her face in her hands again.

Y/N struggled to process for a second, staring at the ceiling as she thought before turning back to the distraught girl.

“I get it, hun. You two are each other's perfect match, it makes sense that you’d want her to tell you everything and vice versa.” She paused as Charlie shifted, her chin on her knees and perhaps pouting, just a bit. “But I can understand where she’s coming from too. I doubt she’s proud of her past. The last thing she would want is to admit to you that she was part of the extermination of your people. That’s not exactly… great. She’s probably scared you’re going to reject her or something because of what she did.”

Charlie’s eyes widened as she looked at Y/N, and she could see the girl’s heart fall.

“Yeah, I guess… you’re right.”

“You’re allowed to be upset.” She said with a comforting smile. “But maybe you should talk to her about it? At least let her know why you’re upset, you know?”

Charlie took a deep breath and nodded, a look of determination setting on her face.

“Alright! I got this! I just need to talk to everyone, talk to Vaggie, and get things going!”

“And tell you’re dad. He did ask for updates.”

She nodded.

“And I will text my dad!” She turned to Y/N with a big smile, relieved. “Thank you for talking with me about all this…” she gestured vaguely “mess.”

Y/N smiled back, reaching over to give her a big, warm hug, the best she could manage. She couldn’t imagine being in this girl’s spot. At least she could help a little bit.

“You’ve got this, hun.”

#hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer magne #hazbin hotel lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel lucifer x reader #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer x reader #reader insert #curses and blessings #hazbin hotel reader insert #hazbin lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel soulmate au #lucifer x reader soulmate au #soulmate au

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originalaccountname · 1 year

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POTENTIAL SPOILERS AT THE END OF THIS ASK FOR THE NEW CHAPTER IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET

Okay, so like, how far can Dazai’s nullification ability extend? I know it’s through touch, and that for the most part if he touches the ability user/object affected by an ability that can nullify it. Though that’s not always the case (like how he can be affected by Gogol’s warps because there’s technically nothing to touch though I suspect Gogol wouldn’t be able to touch him - or how he has to touch what Kunikida makes not Kunikida himself to nullify his ability and can’t nullify the victims of Q’s curse).

But I’ve seen debate on how his ability affects things through other things. Because I’ve seen people say touching his clothes (which touch him) also nullifies abilities but that he needs to touch people skin to skin (not through their clothes) to nullify those types of abilities. And it mostly doesn’t necessarily seem to work through cloth or whatever else he may be touching (that an ability user may or may not be touching) but then I recall that part of the way they beat Rimbaud in the LN — if I recall correctly — was by having Chuuya wrapped in cloth that Dazai touched in order to nullify the effects of Rimbaud’s ability through it.

So I’m kinda confused.

(Mostly this was brought up by the debates over whether Chuuya’s gravity could affect the elevator Dazai’s in since he can’t really avoid touching it which would nullify if. Though if it doesn’t necessarily transfer through what he touches, I don’t see why Chuuya couldn’t just grab the elevator and control the gravity of his own body to slow it down or stop it.)

To be transparent I had to scrap the first version of this answer because while looking up arguments to say how Dazai's ability does affect objects he directly touches, I found some new things and now the answer to that is a big I don't know, maybe not???

EXHIBIT A

In Fifteen, Dazai touches a long cloth wrapped around Chuuya to nullify Rimbaud's attacks. I thought it was because he was making the cloth immune to abilities like himself, but after discussing it with @videogamelover99, I changed my mind. Remember that part about how being in and out of Rimbaud's subspace is akin to two characters from different novels trying to interact, which is impossible? The new interpretation is that Dazai, being immune to abilities, was outside of Rimbaud's subspace, while everything else was inside that subspace. By grabbing the cloth, he forced it to exit the subspace to join his reality outside the subspace, which made it so Rimbaud's attacks couldn't touch the cloth anymore and couldn't reach Chuuya.

EXHIBIT B

Also in Fifteen, Dazai went out of his way to grab Chuuya's neck when Hirotsu and him first fought Chuuya to nullify his ability (direct contact). Meanwhile, Hirotsu's hand was on his shoulder/chest, and he fully intended to use his ability on Chuuya while Dazai was holding him. It doesn't seem like Dazai touching Chuuya would have protected him from Hirotsu's ability (no transfer).

EXHIBIT C

The new stuff I hadn't noticed! Taking you all the way back to chapters 9-10-11, when Dazai is in the mafia dungeon. So far, Dazai's bandages were consistently drawn going high up on his neck, well above his Adam's apple.

In the dungeon, Akutagawa uses Rashoumon to attack him and "attempts" to cut his throat

and afterwards, his bandages come loose, exposing his Adam's apple

His neck is unharmed, because no ability can touch him, however his BANDAGES, which touch his skin directly, were cut and damaged by Rashoumon. Which would mean that 1. his ability does NOT transfer to his own clothes and 2. touching his clothes does NOT nullify an ability.

EXHIBIT D

I cannot find an instance of Dazai nullifying someone's ability and not either touching them directly (Atsushi's face/neck, Chuuya's neck/arm/face, Ranpo's hair, unnamed blond guy's face...) or touching their ability manifestation (Q's doll, Kunikida's things, Rashoumon...). Steinbeck's situation, I would like to mention, is rather ambiguous in the manga and could easily be skin on skin contact. If you have a counter example (NOT from the anime), please share it!

CONCLUSION

It seems like Dazai's ability works in very simple terms: no ability can touch him. That means if he touches the source of an ability (a person or a manifestation), that ability gets nullified, and no ability can affect him. It only works through direct contact with him (hair/skin) and does not transfer through material/surfaces/people.

So the elevator? Probably fine actually. If he's not affecting the bandages and the new Rimbaud interpretation is right, his ability can't affect random objects, so in theory it wouldn't prevent Chuuya from manipulating its gravity, so long as Dazai isn't touching him directly.

(there's also the very real chance Asagiri changed the lore along the years, but until further notice I'll assume everything still works the same way)

#when you make an analysis to prove a point but get turned around midway by new (old) info so you reevaluate your whole vision #hypothesis might have been wrong! it's the scientific method!#debate me if you have more to bring to the table but i do not see the anime the anime does whatever it wants i only know manga and LNs #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd analysis #bsd 106.5 #bsd manga spoilers #bsd spoilers #bsd dazai #bsd dazai osamu #apparently i talk sometimes #long post #new favourite picture: chuuya making dazai's coat extremely heavy to pin him down / dazai frantically trying to grab chuuya to free himself

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azrielslightintheshadows · 6 months

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Shadows and tears

So this is a series about Azriel and reader. English is not my first language so please excuse any mistakes. I hope you like it!

Summary: Reader is a tortured soul who barely escaped the brutality of the Illyrian camps finding shelter in the Day Court. Her identity was well hidden until she caught the attention of the Night Court’s Shadowsinger. Will the mating bond be enough for their love to settle in?

Warnings: angst, mentions of abuse and trauma, smut towards the end (18+)

Masterlist

Prologue , Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 , Chapter 6 , Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 10

Chapter 9

Hope.

The next morning you woke up ready to face the new day. The smile never left your face as you showered, got dressed and braided your hair. Maybe this could work between you and Azriel. Once again you met Nesta in the dining room and after your breakfast you headed to the roof finding Cassian, Azriel, Emerie and Gwyn. You started stretching and waited for Cassian to train you while the girls were already moving into the ring.

It was Azriel who approached you. “Ready?” He cocked his head.

“I thought Cassian was going to train me” you furrowed your brows.

“He told me you need some help with your shadows and your focus” he replied straightening his posture. The hurt of your reject flashing in his eyes.

“Okay” you muttered, guilt building in your chest.

He led you to the usual corner. You placed your feet like Cassian had shown you and stared at the training dummy. Azriel placed his hands on your hips to angle them correctly and you heard a gasp behind you two. Both of you snapped your heads to the direction of the gasp. Gwyn was on the ground holding her nose as blood flowed from it. Nesta was by her side muttering apologies and Cassian was standing in front of them, a harsh look on his face. “You lost your focus” Cassian growled.

“I’m sorry” Gwyn said and glanced at your direction; her eyes stayed on Azriel who tensed.

“Okay let’s get back to work” Azriel told you dismissing the look Gwyn sent him.

You tried to focus again, but something wasn’t right. Why was Gwyn staring at you like that. You would shake the thought off, but Azriel tensing was proof that something is going on. The shadows whispering in your ear brought you back from your thoughts. You continued, trying not to blush at the shadowsinger’s praises. Training with Azriel was way more helpful than with Cassian. Not that the warlord didn’t know what he was doing but Azriel could understand the struggle to keep focusing when something cold was whispering in your ears. When training was over your brain felt like a mush and your body ached. Az had a proud yet worried look on his face as you limped to the bench to drink some water.

“You did really good today” he said taking a seat next to you.

“Yeah, and became best friends with the ground” you replied. “I’m a little jealous of that, you’ve hugged the ground so many times that I now believe that you like it more than me.” He pouted. The shadowsinger pouted. AND he made a joke. You blinked and burst into laughter. He grinned and stared at you. “Oh don’t let it go to your head I’m only laughing that much because it was unexpected” you shoved his shoulder and he chuckled. “Nope you just think I’m way too funny” he replied and winked at you.

“You arrogant Illyrian” amusement filled his eyes “You are an Illyrian too” he replied with a teasing smile.

“Maybe I’m arrogant too, we’ll see” you shrugged and got up, picking your stuff to go back to your room.

“Are you coming to Rita’s tonight?” he asked walking next to you. You remembered Nesta telling you that everyone was going during breakfast. You nodded.

“Great I’ll see you there” he offered you a smile and disappeared in his shadows.

The moment the hot water touched your aching body you moaned. All your muscles relaxed, and you wondered if you could just stay in the bathtub for the rest of the month. You knew Mor would burst in your room to get you ready, so this plan was hopeless. You enjoyed the moments of peace not realizing how long you stayed there. The water started getting cold and the door of your bathroom opened, like the house was telling you to get out, you glared at the wall and then chuckled feeling stupid for being mad at a house. With a sigh you grabbed the towel and wrapped it around your body. You entered your room hissing at the cold and cursing yourself for leaving the window open. Dinner appeared on the small coffee table and Mor burst in, Nesta hot on her heels with a bottle of wine. They slammed the door shut, filling your room with giggles as they jumped on your bed, hot plates of food appearing in their hands and three wine glasses next to your plate. You narrowed your eyes. “This belongs to Rhys’ personal collection; we don’t know who took it” Nesta shrugged and they both burst into laughter earning a giggle from you too.

“He’s going to kill us if he finds out” you muttered shaking your head but taking the bottle from her hands to fill the glasses. You all ate the food and got ready. Mor chose the clothes you all would wear and Nesta did your hair before doing her own.

By the time you had to leave you were all tipsy, giggling you all made your way to Rita’s where the rest of the inner circle was waiting for you. You walked to the booth and took a seat next to Azriel who sniffed and smiled teasingly. Rhysand was staring at the three of you, a scowl appearing on his face.

“Please tell me I’m not smelling my wine” he whined throwing his head back desperately. Everyone laughed while Feyre petted his hair cooing “poor Illyrian baby”. Shock was evident in your face as you watched the most powerful high lord acting like a toddler.

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re his mate or mother” Amren spoke lifting one brow.

Azriel placed his hand on your thigh relaxing back and then tensed when he realized his actions. Before he could take his hand back you covered it with your own and offered him a sweet smile. You saw relief on his face as he relaxed more. Nesta saw the movement and winked at you. You knew the alcohol made you so bold, but you couldn’t stop yourself as you laid back on him. The others didn’t seem to notice, or they just hid it well as they continued drinking and chatting.

“….and then he was on the ground with just one punch.” Cassian exclaimed throwing everyone into a fit of laughter. He was talking most of the night, he had so many stories from the war and the Illyrian camps, and he told them with such a humorous way. You were amazed by the way he could make such dark stories so fun, but you could see the haunted look behind his eyes. Azriel bumped his shoulder into yours, a curious look on his face. You stared into his eyes, primal instinct taking over you as you captured his lips with your own. He was frozen but after a few licks on his bottom lip he grabbed the back of your head and started leading the kiss, it was hot, messy and needy. When Rhysand cleared his throat you two broke the kiss, staring at each other. He smiled and turned his gaze to his friends who continued their conversation but kept smirking. You made a mental note next time something like that happens to get your shadows to cover both of you.

After some drinks Azriel cleared his throat getting everyone’s attention

“I think me and y/n had enough to drink we are going home” he announced and grabbed your hand. You stood up and followed him after saying your goodbyes to the others who were howling and whistling.

“They are acting like kids” Azriel muttered.

“Lighten up Mr. Grumpy” you giggled. He smiled and grabbed you by the waist shooting up earning a surprised yelp from you. In a matter of seconds you could see every part of Velaris. You felt so lucky to be able to live in a city like this. Azriel landed on the roof of the house and let you go.

“I have wings you know” you teased him.

“I know but I wanted to feel you.” He confessed. “Why’d you kiss me?”

“I don’t know… I felt comfortable like I could belong in this family, and you next to me… it felt right.” You shrugged but then your jaw dropped. “Oh Cauldron boil me, I didn’t ask for your permission I just kissed you, Az I’m so sorry.”

His eyes widened “No. You don’t have to ask for permission to kiss me. Don’t you ever think that again.”. He grabbed your face and slammed his lips on yours, a hard kiss to confirm his words. He left you breathless. Your eyes filled with lust and the smell of your arousal filled the place. His eyes darkened in response, and he pushed you onto the wall, his body covering yours and pushing you harder against the wall. You could feel his breath on your face as he stared deep into your eyes.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish” he growled and lowered his head to your neck, smelling you. You felt his tongue caressing your soft skin only his lips interrupting the trail as he left soft kisses.

“Who told you I can’t finish it?” You breathed and almost screamed when he manhandled you, laying you flat in the middle of the ring. He kept kissing his way down, lifting your dress until it reached your waist. His face was between your thighs, and he stared at you waiting for permission, you nodded and in a blink your underwear was ripped, and his mouth was on you. He licked a long stripe, and his teeth grazed your swollen clit. You moaned his name pleading for more. He chuckled and brought his fingers between your folds, entering them in a harsh move that made you gasp. He removed them and brought them between your lips. “Taste yourself” he ordered. His voice strong and cold. You did as he asked a hum of pleasure deep in your throat. You lapped his fingers tasting yourself until he yanked them out of your mouth, grabbing your jaw and moving your head so you could look at him. “Don’t be greedy leave some for me” he growled and brought his fingers in his mouth, tasting your arousal and saliva. You could climax just by the view. Your heat clamping onto nothing making you more frustrated.

“I want you…please” you whined. A vicious smile appeared on his face as he unbuttoned his pants taking himself out.

“Then take me” he snarled and slammed into you. You cried out in both pleasure and pain making him stop.

“I’m okay” you breathed, and he continued pounding into you, changing his hips’ angle to hit the right spots. You were seeing stars, your throat sore as his name kept leaving your lips like a prayer. You were reaching your high quickly but you wanted him to finish with you, so you stretched your hand caressing the sensitive place on his wings making him shudder.

He snapped his hips once, twice and his body tensed, his cock deep inside you as he filled you up. A low “fuck” leaving his lips making you follow him crying out his name, and every forgotten God’s name. He throbbed inside you. His hair falling on his face along with drops of sweat. He stared in your eyes, lowering his head to capture your lips in a soft kiss full of care and love. He pulled out and you whined at the empty feeling making him chuckle. He laid next to you staring at the stars.

“I wanted our first time to be gentle, but I couldn’t hold myself with the way you were looking at me and the alcohol I had” he confessed, and you could hear the guilt in his voice.

“It was perfect, I don’t like it gentle” you replied and laid your head on his chest. Your hand caressing his jaw. He took your palm and left a soft kiss. You didn’t know how long you stayed like that or when you dozed off, but when you opened your eyes, you were in your bed. Alone.

@cleverzonkwombatsludge

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eternalglitch · 7 months

Note

How many chapters of lfls did you post before it started getting popular?

Additionally, did you do anything special to get people to notice it or did it mostly grow for itself?

I didn't notice I had any attention until about chapter 7 if I remember correctly...? And then I joined a discord where EVERYONE knew of me and I was like... what happened. What's going on. And then by chapter 9 things started snowballing noticeably on social media.

I remember that chapter 2 only got like two comments total and I was like aw man :( I was hoping for a little more attention lol

Once a few people started making fanart I think that really got eyes on my work. As after that it felt like a lot of popular artists in the community would make a piece here and there and that created a feedback loop effect of more art and more attention. Particularly Sol creating her animatic of it in particular was a spike in notice.

I didn't do anything in particular but I did also have the rare circumstances of:

One of the first long form Rise fics where there hadn't been any before

Started writing the fic just before the show itself picked up in popularity, which as new people checked for fics pointed newcomers towards me

One of the first serious angst Rise fics, which fans later seemed to latch more onto

So, yeah! Timing, scarcity of competition at the time, and fanart are probably the factors. On top of just solid writing getting it into the right time and place. I didn't do much of this intentionally, the only thing I could control here was the quality of my writing.

#glitch answers #lfls

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baronessblixen · 1 month

Text

Twenty questions for fanfic writers

Tagged by the amazing @frogsmulder. Thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

417 🤯

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

774,561 - I wanna get to a million now, wow

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The X-Files, Frasier. At least on AO3. I have way more fandoms on ff.net (where I used to post).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Prompts & Drabbles

Fictober 2020

Fowl Play

Love is Not Blind

Some Things You Just Can't Fake

5. Do you respond to comments?

For a while I did and then I forgot again and I'm always afraid I will reply to someone but oversee someone else. In theory I want to respond to all of them! I just got two amazing ones in the last two days. So thoughtful and so plain kind. I definitely need to reply to these people.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I wrote one where Mulder dies (of old age, though) but I'm not even sure it's on AO3.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them have a happy ending! I don't think I have a story without a happy ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have. Mostly in the distant past, but I think some more recent hate too. If I remember correctly, it wasn't directed at a fic in particular but rather at me as a writer in general.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written a few smut stories. I know it's a popular genre, but I gotta be honest and admit that it's just not my favorite. Neither writing nor reading it. I know that's a very unpopular opinion.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Again, not on tumblr, but I think I wrote a Frasier/Hot in Cleveland crossover once.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Hmmm. I think maybe one?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! I co-wrote Eden with a bunch of others! I mean we each wrote chapters but that still counts, right? It was a lot of fun and I'd love to do it again.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Mulder and Scully

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My Five Minutes Series. I think about it so often but I like the chapters I have written a lot and I'm afraid to screw it up by writing more.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm decent at writing dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Everything. I struggle with describing an environment or surroundings. I gotta admit I sometimes even skip reading those parts when other people write them. I don't see those things in my head.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Technically I always write dialogue in another language since English isn't my native language. I've written a few German fanfics and that was a lot of fun. Might do it again.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

It was either Friends or X-Files. Or if we count stories I only wrote for myself then it's Scarecrow and Mrs. King.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Can't choose between my babies!

Tagging @xxsksxxx @randomfoggytiger @agent-troi @numinousmysteries @oohnotvery @atths--twice (feel free to ignore if you don't wanna do it!)

#my fic #oof this took a moment #i miss writing!

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yesimwriting · 2 years

Text

Final Girl (Part 5)

A/n she’s here and she’s big enough to probably have been two parts lol, so feel free to carve out some you time to absorb all of this, also there are scene breaks in this one like in chapter 4, but no smut warnings!!

also feedback is always super appreciated :))

Final Girl Series Masterlist (updated parts 1 - 9 and extras)

Series Summary: Y/n can’t believe that she has to leave the only home she’s ever known just because her mom’s latest boyfriend has a house in some town in California. Just as she’s starting to think that Woodsboro might not be that bad, something life altering happens after she agrees to sleep over at Becker’s house. Now her name is practically synonymous with Ghostface’s.

Chapter Summary: Billy and Stu are throwing a party that's basically couple's only. Good thing a guy in Y/n's english class is always trying to ask her out...and a good thing that Gloria isn't around to stop Y/n from raiding her closet.

----

What. The. Fuck.

Like actually.

The first thing I registered when I woke up was the sunlight that slipped in past my curtains. The second thing I registered was how comfortable I was. I don't think I've been this comfortable sleeping since what happened to Casey. The third thing I registered was the hand on my back and arm.

I'm half curled into Billy, and Stu's asleep on his back, my arm pulled to his chest. Okay--this isn't the most shocking thing ever. There was alcohol yesterday, and drunk me is touchy. The fact that we all passed out in bed isn't shocking. What’s shocking is the fact that it’s...weirdly nice.

This is the first time since Casey’s that I slept through the night without a nightmare. Was that because of the presence of other people or alcohol, I’m not sure, but either way the feeling of a full night of rest is refreshing.

I start to sit up slowly, doing my best not to shift enough to disturb either of them. Before my spine can straighten, a firm touch on my back has me moving back down. I slump against Billy, throwing a more confused than truly annoyed glare in his direction. “Billy.”

“What?” The question is mumbled, Billy doesn’t even bother looking at me. “I’m comfortable.”

Rolling my eyes, I briefly consider pushing away from him, but he does have a point. It is comfortable, and he’s warm. “That makes one of us.”

At that, he opens his eyes just enough to squint. I take a deep breath, a little too aware of the way he’s looking at me. Even jokingly lying to Billy feels exposing. I always feel like he can instantly tell.

He doesn’t call me out on it. At least, not directly, “You seemed comfortable last night.” The comment is just a tiny bit more suggestive than it needs to be. I sit up just enough to softly smack his chest. “You’re the one that fell asleep on me,” he defends, “So asleep that you snored.”

My jaw drops in offense. “I do not snore.”

The indignation in my whisper makes him grin. “Why are you whispering?” I tilt my head in Stu’s direction. As far as I can tell, he’s dead asleep and not loosening his hold on my arm any time soon. Billy’s gaze briefly flits over to Stu’s sleeping form. “He sleeps through everything.” When I don’t ease, Billy continues, “He slept through all that snoring.”

If looks could kill, I’d be a murderer. “You’re getting kicked out.”

“You’re mean in the mornings.”

“It’s not the morning, it’s...” I sit up a little more, looking at the digital alarm clock on my nightstand. “It’s 12:09. Wow, I really passed out.”

My mind begins to work in overdrive as I try to remember as many details about last night as possible. The gist of it is pretty clear, but what if I’m missing something?

“Don’t worry,” Billy says, reading my face easily, “You were fine. A little touchy, but you fell asleep right after The Shining.”

If I’m remembering correctly, I wasn’t the only one being a little too touchy. “Right.”

“What’s wrong?”

Eyes focusing on nothing in particular, I mull over my options. It’s not like there’s anything particular for me to complain about. I don’t remember being beyond uncomfortable or anything, just a little bit unsure. And I really don’t want to ruin everything by overreacting when I’m not even sure what my problem is.

“Nothing.” My fingers move, nervously tracing the floral pattern of my sheets. “The morning after drinking feels weird.”

“I thought it wasn’t the morning.” He barely pays any attention to the way I roll my eyes. “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing, really.” I sit up, tugging my arm away from Stu as gently as I can. The space makes it easier to organize my thoughts. “Just thinking about yesterday feels a little weird. I don’t think I was the touchiest person last night.” My eyes awkwardly flit towards the one person that’s still asleep.

Billy shifts, watching me carefully. “He had been drinking since before I got to his place. He was moody, something about his sister and his parents.”

At that, I freeze, my breath catching itself in my throat. Mentions of their families, of what their dynamics are like beneath public perception, are rare...and always a little heartbreaking. “Oh.”

“I wouldn’t bring it up.” His warning isn’t needed. Early on, I learned that this is the one topic I can’t get away with talking about. Still, I nod. “And you know how he is, a ‘knock it off’ is a joke until he’s beyond sure you’re serious. Especially with you.”

My eyes snap away from the even rise and fall of Stu’s chest. “Especially with me?”

Billy’s hesitant, thinking over his words. “Your attention means a lot to him.”

I can’t bring myself to look at Billy. I can’t bring myself to do anything but stare at Stu. “Still,” I mumble after a second, “Boundaries.”

“I’ll bring it up to him when he’s more receptive.” Probably a good idea. The last thing I want is to push Stu when he’s going through something that he’s sensitive about. Maybe my silence comes off as hesitance because Billy continues, “You know he’d never do anything to hurt you on purpose.”

“Yeah.” I do know that, but I’m starting to feel like that doesn’t excuse everything. There are things that matter more than intentions. It’s hard to be mad at Stu when he’s asleep. When he’s this relaxed, he looks smaller, almost more vulnerable.

From what I’ve pieced together through bits and pieces, Stu’s parents are rarely around physically, and when they do come home, they don’t exactly express a lot of interest in their son. I’ve heard even less about Stu’s sister. I only know she exists because of the one time I went to Stu’s house. There was a framed photo of a girl, and when Stu mumbled something about a sister, my surprise was clear.

Growing up, I had always wanted a sibling, so I got a little excited. Stu’s reaction let me know that my enthusiasm wasn’t taken the right way. I didn’t get it until Billy mentioned that Leslie isn’t Stu’s favorite topic. He told me enough to let me know that it has to do with parental approval and attention.

Even though the way Stu acted yesterday was confusing and out of bounds, knowing where his head was at makes it harder to be upset at him.

Deciding that I don’t want to think about this anymore, I fold my hands on my lap.“How long do you think it’ll take him to wake up?”

“There’s no telling with Stu.” Billy moves so that he’s sitting up fully.

Frowning, I let out a too dramatic sigh. “I wanted pancakes.”

The corner of Billy’s lips turn upwards. “You wanted pancakes the last time you were hung over.”

I lean back, my arm supporting my weight. “Not hungover,” I defend, “Just want pancakes. They’re the perfect after-drinking food.”

“We can wake him up.”

“Don’t.” Billy’s arm is already half extended, I grab his wrist, my words a whispered hiss, “He said he hasn’t been sleeping great. Let him get some rest.”

Billy’s regarding me in a way that leaves me still. I think he might have found something about that amusing. “Protective.”

I roll my eyes. “He needs his sleep.” Stu isn’t the best at taking care of himself. What teenage boy is? And it’s not like his parents are checking in on him.

Okay, staring at Stu while he sleeps is weird of me. I turn my head to look at Billy. The bags under his eyes are made more prominent by the light coming in through my window. And is it just me looking for an excuse to worry or does he seem thin? Now that I’m thinking about it, I can’t think of anyone that’d be really looking out for Billy either.

The few things he’s mentioned about his dad don’t make him seem like a caretaker, especially considering that up until kinda recently, Billy’s mom was around. “Are you getting enough sleep?”

Oh my god, did I just ask that out loud? Billy turns his head, eyes softening just a little. “Worried about me?” Ugh, this is what I get for being nice. I cross my legs, eyeing him cautiously. “I sleep okay.” Before I can respond, Billy tacts on, “You?”

“Fine,” I reply too quickly, “Better before the whole thing with Casey.” Scratching the inside of my wrist, I try to force away the images that come to mind. It’s strange, how quiet the killer and the case as a whole have been. “But I guess that’s normal.”

Billy reaches forward, long fingers wrapping around my wrist before I can pick at the skin too much. “If you can’t sleep and you need something to do, you can call me.”

The offer is comforting. “Thanks, you’re a good friend.” His touch is warm, anchoring. “You both are. Not to make things weird, but you guys have been really helpful through all of this.”

“That doesn’t make things weird.” His response is delayed.

I look up, hoping to get a little more out of his expression, but his head is angled downwards. He’s staring at my sheets. “Let’s go make pancakes.”

Billy sits up even more before standing. I follow him, careful to not bother Stu as I move off of the bed. “You’re going to leave him here unsupervised?”

It’s clearly a joke, but I still shrug as I consider my response. “If he wakes up and decides to be nosy and look through my drawers, all he’ll find is proof of my sticky note addiction.”

----

This is nothing like what happened that night. I repeat that in my head again and again as I watch the stove. This isn’t like Casey’s and there are too many differences for me to feel like this.

It’s daytime. What happened at Casey’s was late at night. And I-I wasn’t really using a pan, it was just Jiffy Pop. There have been no weird phone calls. There’s been nothing. I’m fine.

I repeat the differences between now and then in my head like a mantra as I pour the pancake batter. It sizzles as it expands into the form of a lopsided circle. Forcing my focus to remain on what’s in front of me, I grab the spatula, lifting the pancake’s side to check how cooked the bottom side is.

“Almost done?”

“Patience is a virtue.”

Billy lets out a breath, supporting his weight with his arms as he leans against the kitchen counter. “You okay?”

I nod, tilting the pan slightly. “When it happened,” my knuckles lighten as I tighten my grip on the pan’s handle, “When Casey got that first call, I was standing in front of her stove.” Shaking my head to dismiss the potential downward spiral, I lift the edge of the pancake. “I can’t freak out every time I’m behind a stove for the rest of my life.”

“It hasn’t been that long,” Billy says patiently.

I flip the pancake. The loud hiss that follows leads me down a different road of memories. “I have good stove memories, too.” A weird thing to say, but it’s better than what I was thinking of. “When I was little, my mom didn’t have anyone to watch me and I was a terror unless I had something to do. So she used to sit me down on the counter next to the hot stove and had me mix the batter. It became such a thing she’d even put me on the counter when she was just baking. My mom went through a real baking phase from the time she was pregnant until around the time I started school.”

Lifting the pancake from the pan and onto the plate, I look up at Billy before pouring some more batter onto the pan. There’s a pensive quality to his expression that’s vaguely familiar. It reminds me of that brief second in the hospital after my mom came in. What had I called that look then? Wistful. “I used to trail my mom around the kitchen. She’d pretend to let me help her.” Focusing on the spatula in my hand, I try to keep my expression casual. “That was awhile ago.”

I abandon the utensil on the counter. Not being able to help myself, I turn and let myself look at him. What happened to his mother? She always comes up fleetingly, in ways that make it clear it’s a sensitive topic. I don’t think she’s passed away, the energy he reserves for her is too touchy. Maybe a messy divorce? I still remember that one summer my dad petitioned the court for custody and how much that sucked.

He’s closer than I realized. My hand reaches for his. He lets me intertwine our fingers. “Billy...” Thee’s something I should say. Something comforting and not pushy. Nothing good comes to mind. My thoughts are clouded by Billy’s eyes. My lips part, because he’s waiting for me to say something.

The smell of burning snaps me out of it. Snapping my head towards the stove, I release Billy’s hand. I yank the pan off of the stove and quickly drop it into the sink. Turning on the water, I begin fanning out the smoke. “Great, the one thing my mom told me not to do was trigger the fire alarm again.”

“Again?”

Turning away from the sink, I halfheartedly glare at Billy. “Long story and I’m not as responsible for it as that made me sound.”

He eyes me skeptically, taking a step forward. “Really?”

Before I can think of a response or get too lost in thought, an unexpected, tired voice interrupts us. “What are you guys up to?”

“Stu!” I grin, leaning against the counter. “We’re making pancakes.”

At that, Stu blinks, glancing at Billy, then at the still smoking pan, and finally, at me. “Really?”

“Trying to, at least,” I correct, “I’m way better at making them than it looks right now.”

Stu walks towards us with lazy steps. “I’m sure.” He ignores my pointed look, walking further into the room until he’s practically within reach. Stu extends an arm, vaguely reaching for me. I give in, closing the distance between us. He’s quick to wrap his arms around me gently. “Morning, angel.”

“Morning? It’s like 12:30.”

He runs his hand up and down my back for a second before I slip out of his grasp gently. “You’re the one making pancakes.”

I return to the sink, scraping the burnt pancake batter off of the pan. “Fair.” I turn off the sink after everything’s clean enough for me to start working again.

----

Reaching forward, I grab a few pieces of popcorn from the bowl that Stu stole from me. He turns his head, jokingly narrowing his eyes. “Hey, I made that.”

I pop a piece into my mouth. “Because I asked you to.”

“First, you make us watch this movie and now you’re stealing my popcorn.”

“First off, I didn’t make you watch this. You made a hospital bed promise to watch Clueless with me. You can’t back out of hospital bed promises, that’s like, karmic bad luck.” I pull my legs beneath me, sitting up a little more. “Second, it’s my popcorn, all you did was pop it. And I made you pancakes earlier!”

He shifts, pulling the plastic bowl towards him a little more. “Popping is the popcorn, without that it’s just kernels.” He ignores my glare. “Sorry, babe, but it’s mine.”

My last two pieces of popcorn go into my mouth. “Fine--if I say its yours, will you share?”

Stu sinks further into my couch, weighing his options. After a second, he shifts the bowl, leaning it in my direction. “Only for you.”

“We’re watching a movie.” Billy’s whisper is a little bit sharper than usual, irritated.

Billy being the kind of person to shush people for the smallest things during a movie makes sense. Even last night when I was basically wasted, he gave me a dirty look for mumbling something a little too loudly during The Shining. But that was the kind of movie he cares about.

I watch him as he stares at the TV. “Did you just shush me during Clueless?” He doesn’t react, just continues watching. I dramatically gasp, eyes widening. “Oh my god,” I don’t bother hiding the grin in my voice, “Are you, Billy Loomis, liking Clueless?”

“If you’re going to make me watch something, you should at least let me pay attention.” I press my hand against my mouth in an attempt to suppress a laugh. He is so busted. “If you don’t stop looking at me like that, I’m leaving.”

Holding my hands up in defense, I force myself to turn. “There’s nothing wrong with--”

“I’m leaving.”

“No!” My hand stretches forward, grabbing Billy’s arm. “It was a joke. I’ll stop. Promise.”

Billy looks at me skeptically for a long second. Cher says something to Dionne, and his eyes flit towards the screen, betraying him. “Fine,” he mumbles dismissively, attention already leaving me.

The second this movie is over, he’s never hearing the end of it. Oh, maybe if I play my cards right I’ll be able to get him to watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Unlikely, but I can dream.

I don’t know how the late morning turned into us watching a movie, but the company’s nice. I’m not used to an empty house and Billy and Stu are the kind of people that are hard to get tired of. Stu’s sense of humor becomes a little much after awhile, but telling him off is half the fun.

Billy relaxes against the couch, his arm eases as he turns over his palm. He intertwines our fingers before I can pull my arm back.

With the exception of a few comments Stu mumbled under his breath, the rest of the movie is watched with no interruptions. By the end of it, Stu’s head is on my shoulder and Billy’s still loosely holding my hand.

“I really promised you I’d watch that.” Rolling my eyes, I softly elbow Stu’s side. “Mean.” Before I can scold him for starting it, he moves on, “When is your mom getting back?”

Weird question, but I guess not too weird for Stu. “Um, Tuesday after school, right after the long weekend.” A part of me wishes we had school on Monday, at least it’d be something to do while I wait for my mom to come home. The more time I spend with people, the safer I feel. “Why? Do you have plans that’d get me in trouble or something?”

He moves away enough to look at me before throwing an arm around my shoulders. “I’ll get you in trouble whenever, angel.” Stu squeezes my arm, looking me over with a suggestive glint behind his eyes. “Except for tonight. Billy boy and I have places we need to be. Big, empty house plans.”

Oh. It’s not like I expected them to spend all weekend with me, but the vagueness of the statement makes me feel a little awkward. “‘Big empty house plans’ sounds like a code for an orgy.”

“Someone’s jealous.”

I half-scoff-half-laugh, “Of your orgy?”

Stu’s fingers press into the skin of my arm again. This time, the touch is a little firmer and less easy going. He raises his eyebrows up and down teasingly.

“Not an orgy,” Billy corrects, throwing a look at Stu that comes and goes so quickly, I can’t even start to interpret it, “Just a hangout with some guys and their girlfriends.”

I might not have the most experience with having friends that are (semi-)popular, and being left out of secret plans is a sore spot for me, but that sounds a little too much like: ‘Stu’s throwing a party that we don’t want to tell you about.’ But that’s a lot to assume from one sentence. “Still sounds like an orgy.”

“I’d invite you to my orgy,” Stu hums almost sweetly, his hand moving up and down my arm.

I shrug out of his grasp. “Really?”

“Eh.” Stu tries holding onto me as I continue to scoot away from him. “But only because an orgy’s a rough way to lose your virginity.”

Wow. Heat rushes to my face and the only thing that I’m thinking about is that I can’t just sit here silently. “What makes you think I’m a virgin?” Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad, bad idea. I shouldn’t humor him because now I’m going to have to have a conversation about virginity. “I was hot shit in Texas.”

There’s some odd quality to Stu’s grin. If I didn’t know better, I’d feel like he was baring his teeth. “You’re still hot shit, babe, that has nothing to do with it.” He answers my unspoken question before I can think to change the subject, “With the way your mom is about guys and how you listen to h--”

“I don’t always listen to my mom.” God, I’ve never felt like more of a little kid. “I-I drink and I don’t tell her about it.”

“But you’re mom’s okay with drinking.” My head turns towards Billy. “The first time I came over she was trying to convince you to get wine drunk with her so that you could watch some movies together.”

Do my mom and I enjoy the occasional tipsy movie night? Yes. Did Billy come over to work on a project with me while my mom was in the middle of trying to convince me to do just that? Yes. Did I need that thrown into my face right now?

Absolutely not. “What’s your point?”

“You always listen to your mom, it’s just not a problem because she basically lets you do whatever.”

Damn. Billy’s completely right, and so is Stu. I’ve never had sex or a boyfriend. I’ve never even had a first kiss because the one time I almost did at Chloe Woods’s 13th birthday party I freaked out and didn’t. They can never know that.

“Okay, I’m done talking to you guys about whether I have or haven’t had sex.” Scratching the back of my wrist, I try to keep my face just slightly annoyed. “And it’s weird that you’re connecting it so much to my mom.” I need a change of topic, and I need one fast. I think through all of the potential topics and how to throw this back at them. “Is that thing you’re doing at your house tonight the couples only thing a bunch of football players are going to?”

Stu’s smug grin turns, taking on an undertone that feels mean. “Pieced that together. You gonna put amateur detective on your journalism school application?”

I shrug, not loving this energy. “A few guys in my English class were talking about it on Tuesday.” The more time I spend with Stu and Billy, the more I notice their pension for staring when they want you to say more. “I forgot about it until Noel Thompson brought it up.”

“When did you talk to Noel Thompson?” Billy’s question comes out in a way that almost seems like an accusation.

“Uh, Friday, I’m pretty sure.” I scratch softly at my knee. “He came by to give me the homework I missed, which was nice because Mrs. Tegan assigned us another essay.” After a second, I meet Billy’s gaze, “He asked me if I wanted to go, I said I wasn’t really up for anything big, but he left his number in case I changed my mind.”

Oh! I have his number, maybe I could still go. Noel’s nice, and it’s not like I’ve ever been asked out before. Plus, he’s like the only guy in my English class that doesn’t have super sexist takes on our readings. “Oh, now that I know it’s at your place, maybe I should call him. That could be fun since you guys and Sid and Tate are gonna be there.”

“Noel Thompson yells a lot,” Billy says, voice weirdly low, “You’re too sensitive to go out with him.”

He doesn’t seem like the yelling type, but Billy’s demeanor keeps me from correcting him. “I wouldn’t be dating him, it’s just one party.”

“We never said it was a party.”

“Noel did.” I bite my tongue a second too late. The reaction came out too quickly. It makes me look defensive.

Stu’s touch on my forearm nearly makes me jump. “So you want to believe Noel because he came over to your house to flirt with you?” Not what happened, and before I can even open my mouth to defend myself, Stu continues, “I wasn’t going to say anything, but since you’re being naive, I feel like I have to tell you. Noel broke up with his last three girlfriends like a week after fucking them for the first time.”

Nails digging into the skin of my palm, I find it nearly impossible to meet Stu’s stare. “If you don’t want me there or don’t want me going with you, that’s fine, but don’t lie to me like I’m stupid.” What’s with them? One minute, they’re the sweetest, and then the next, they’re trying to parent me. “I get that it’s probably not fun to know that your friend’s a disaster when she drinks because then you feel like you need to babysit her, but I won’t be your problem tonight.”

“You’re always our problem.”

I try pulling my arm away from Stu, but he’s holding on too tight. “Excuse me?”

“Like you’re not going to come crying to us the second he tries something you don’t like.”

Didn’t realize my friendship was so annoying considering that they literally snuck into my house last night. “If you don’t want me telling you about things anymore, congratulations, because I won’t.” I try yanking my arm away again, this time being more firm about it. Stu’s grip is too much, and for the first time ever, that sends a pinprick of nerves through me. “Stu, let go.”

Billy places a hand over Stu’s. At that, Stu loosens his hold on me. “Stu’s just saying we don’t like seeing you upset.” There’s something about Billy’s calmness that bugs me. It’s feels as forced as the voice I used when I worked at the mall and a woman I couldn’t yell at kept snapping at me. “Noel’s an asshole, ask Sid if you want. He creeps her out.”

That’s likely true. Sid gave me a bit of a ‘be careful’ look when she saw me talking to him after class once. “I appreciate the concern, but it’s not a big deal. It’s not even an actual date.”

“It’s not a good idea,” Billy continues, “He’s going to hurt you.”

“I get that you’re worried, and that’s nice of you, but I can handle myself.”

Stu releases my arm completely, sinking into himself, “We just want a night where it’s just us and our girlfriends. You’re around all the time.”

My lips part, but no words come out. Nothing angry or considerate, just silence. I’m 14 again and finding out that while I called all my friend’s houses asking if they wanted to hang out, they were out together. I’m 12 again and fighting with my mom, defending my dad for standing me up on my birthday just to find out that she lied for him. He wasn’t working. He was at my stepsister’s cello recital.

Every moment in which I’ve been too much. Too attached, too needy, too dependent on others hits me at full force. And it hurts. And it’s unfair...it’s not like I ask them to be around all the time. I didn’t ask them to come over last night.

But I do involve myself in a lot of the things they do with Sid and Tatum. Mall trips, coffee runs, movie nights. Sometimes Randy’s there as well, but there have been times where I just kinda involved myself.

I thought we were all friends and that no one minded. This wouldn’t be the first time I made that mistake. Is this just a Stu and Billy thing or do Tatum and Sidney feel the same way?

“We can do something tomorrow.” Billy’s voice is still patient, but it doesn’t feel fake anymore. I can’t tell if that makes me feel better or worse. “I’ll drive you to the big bookstore on the other side of town.”

That’s something I’d normally jump at. It’s one of the worst parts of having no license. No one ever wants to take me to the big bookstore because it’s far and I take forever. There’s nothing more time consuming than me in a bookstore with a cafe inside of it.

I nod. “Yeah, that’d be nice.” Billy’s eyes are heavy on me. I don’t like it. “Maybe--I um, I have a lot of homework I want to get done before my mom gets back. She takes up a lot of time after trips, no matter how small. She has a thing about taking pictures.”

“Don’t be mad at me, Stu’s the one that said it.”

“Like you’ve never said it.”

Great, now I have to think of them talking about how annoying and clingy I am. “I’m not mad.”

“Stu’s an idiot, he only said that so that you’d be mad at both of us.” Billy’s words are too carefully picked. He didn’t deny thinking that. “You can do your school stuff tonight, that way we can go tomorrow.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” I need to act more okay about all of this before they accuse me of making a big deal about this. It’s bad enough that they already think I’m clingy. “You know I should probably start soon and I’m feeling kinda tired.”

Billy turns to face forward. “You’re kicking us out.”

His voice sounds so small I’d backtrack if it wasn’t for my thoughts. “I’m feeling weird, I’m not sure you’re supposed to drink with a concussion, which could explain why I got drunk so fast yesterday. I think I need a nap before I start working on anything.” I stare at my lap. “That way I’ll have time to finish it all before tomorrow. Besides, you guys have that thing to get ready for.”

At that, Billy seems to unfreeze. He nods. “Yeah, you’re right.” He moves to stand. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Stu gets up without looking at me. Whatever his problem is. Who is he to call me clingy when he literally got drunk and demanded to stay at my house last night? I say one last goodbye and the two of them leave.

Never have I wanted to talk to my mom and dissect an interaction more, but I can’t without getting into the whole thing. I could edit out the details so that she doesn’t kill me, but I don’t want to get into all of that. Lying and keeping things from her isn’t my strong suit, and I don’t have the energy.

Maybe I should just do homework.

----

“Oh my god, you know what you have to do, right?” Hallie’s voice rings so loudly throughout the phone’s receiver that I have to push it away. “And if you say homework, I’m hanging up and never talking to you again. Please tell me you’re not doing homework.”

I frown at the essay in front of me. “You’ve been friends with me long enough to know that that’s my go to panic move.”

Hallie and I have been each other’s go to’s since we met in the first grade. I had been having a terrible day, and then when Samantha Colts made fun of me for reading during recess, Hallie pushed her off the swings. The teacher asked me if I saw what happened and I said I didn’t see anything. It was my first lie to an authority figure and Hallie’s first time hurting someone for me.

“Okay, but this is different. You can’t let guys walk all over you like that. if you let them get away with it once, they will do it a thousand times.” Not only did I call Hallie because of how close we are, I also called her because she’s always so opinionated when it comes to guys. Not that this is really a ‘guy’ situation, because it’s not like I’m dating them. But still, they’re boys, and I’ve never cared about a guy’s opinion so much before. “You need to hang up on me, call that football player, and show up, looking super hot. Don’t acknowledge Billy or Stu unless they walk up to you and then be like ‘oh, haven’t noticed you, I’ve been busy.’”

Do I want to do that? I mean, it’d be fun to get in a jab about that whole clingy thing, but it’s conflictive, and arguing with them is exhausting. “I don’t know.”

“Well, I do,” she continues, “Go to that party in the outfit Gloria wore to chaperon our middle school dance. The one that almost got her called into the principal’s office.”

Ugh...my mom was about to turn 30 when I was in middle school, and the crisis of leaving her 20s showed. “It’s late, Noel probably already has a date.”

“So? Tell him that your schedule just cleared up and that you’re a better time than whoever he’s replaced you with.” I love Hallie, but she’s not like me. When she wants someone, she has them wrapped around her finger in an instant. “You’re just using that as an excuse. Go out, have fun, make them eat their hearts out.”

I roll my eyes. “They’re not going to care that much. They have girlfriends, remember? It’s not like that.”

“Guys are weird about seeing you with other guys, even if you’re just friends. It’s like a psychological thing, like they want you around as an option or think that you’re gonna get stollen or something. I don’t know. People have studied it.”

While I doubt that, she’s never given me bad boy advice before. “I just don’t want this one thing to ruin our friendship. Maybe I should give them the space they want.” I groan, going from sad to angry. “You know what, screw them. If they don’t want to be friends with me anymore than who needs them?”

“No, those are your daddy issues talking. Just because you’re mad at a guy doesn’t mean you’re never going to talk again.” After a second of silence, Hallie asks, “Are Billy and Stu hot? I’m imagining them really hot.”

This is the exact kind of question Hallie would ask, but I can’t help feeling embarrassed. “Hallie, they have girlfriends, remember?”

“Doesn’t answer my question.”

Sighing dramatically, I cautiously eye my room as I pull the receiver even closer to my face. “Yes, they’re hot.”

She squeals. “I knew it. I cannot wait until I visit.”

The thought of Hallie meeting either Billy or Stu makes my stomach feel unsettled. She earned the nickname Hurricane Hallie when we were kids for a reason. She likes to flit in, let others get wrapped up in the storm when they should be bunkering down, and then she disappears, leaving you alone with the aftermath. I love her, but I don’t want her interfering with my life here just yet.

“Yeah, hot guys with girlfriends, your speciality.”

I can practically feel her eye roll. “Yep, that’s me,” she plays along sarcastically, “Now quit stalling and call him. I’m hanging up before you can change your mind. And wear something hot for me, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll dress up all pretty just for you.”

She giggles, “Alright, love ya. Call me tomorrow with the details.”

“Okay, wi--” Before I can finish my good byes, Hallie hangs up. She’s smart, she knew I was like two seconds away from talking myself out of this.

With a sigh, I flip over the English packet Noel dropped off on Friday. He scribbled his number on the back. I dial it before I can panic. After two rings, he answers. “Hello?”

“Uh, hi, Noel, it’s me, Y/n, from English.” Ugh--I can feel Hallie facepalming from states away. “I know it’s kinda last minute, but I was wondering if you still wanted to go to that thing?”

----

Those freaking liars.

This is a damn party, and honestly, I’m offended that they thought they could get away with lying to me about this. It’s not like I’m social classes below them. At least, not all the time. At the very least, they should have considered that Sidney and Tatum could have brought it up to me.

Honestly, this whole thing is starting to feel weird. Who throws a party that’s couples only? It feels like the kind of thing old married couples would say to get a group of swingers over to their house. Now I’m starting to feel weird.

“You look really pretty, by the way.” Noel’s voice snaps me out of my train of thought. “I don’t think I told you that earlier.”

I smile warmly, feeling the slightest bit easier. I went full in with Hallie’s advice and dug through my mom’s closet until I found her go to chaperoning outfit. Pink, low cut halter top paired with a pink mini skirt. Nothing flashy, just mildly suggestive. “Thank you.”

He gestures towards Stu’s house with a nod of his head. “You wanna go in?”

Bracing myself for what I hope won’t be a too drastically eventful night, I nod and let him lead me into the house. The second we step inside, the fact that this is most definitely, undeniably a party hits me at full force. From Noel’s truck, I could hear music coming from the house, but this is something else all together. The energy is absolutely magnetic. So magnetic that when Noel comes back from the kitchen and hands me a beer, I don’t think twice before drinking some.

I’m about halfway done with my third (maybe?) drink when a high pitched, “Y/n!” steals my attention.

I turn, searching for the source of the sound. Oh, it’s Tatum. Am I mad at her? What Stu said kind of made it seem like everyone was getting tired of me. I guess the only thing I can do is act normal until I figure it out. “Tate!”

She runs up to me in a tipsy-enthusiastic way. I let her pull me into a hug. “I was starting to miss you. I even wanted to call you to come over but Stu hasn’t given me a minute.”

The mention of Stu’s name leaves me feeling awkward. I almost didn’t notice him lingering around Tatum until she mentioned it. He places an arm around her shoulders, squeezing her even tighter as she giggles and pretends to push him away. “I’ve missed you, Tay.”

She rolls her eyes, pulling on Stu’s shirt slightly. “Boys are overrated. We should have a girls day soon.”

That sounds nice, especially since I don’t think I’ll be spending as much time around Billy and Stu. “Yeah, we should go get our nails done or something soon.”

“Yes,” she grins, “Oh my god, are you here with Noel Thompson? We saw you walk in with him earlier, I wanted to say ‘hi’ then, but I lost you.”

Okay, maybe Tatum’s a little more than just tipsy. “That’s okay,” I giggle, “And yeah, I’m here with Noel, he’s just grabbing another drink. He came to my place to bring me some homework from English and then asked me if I wanted to come with him.”

“Oh, that’s cute,” she hums, “Just be careful, though. I’ve heard enough girls crying over him in the school bathroom.”

Stu’s lack of attention is starting to feel pointed as he continues to be all over Tate. I guess that’s what he wants tonight, but he could come up for air long enough to say hi. Whatever, if he doesn’t want to talk to me, I don’t want to talk to him.

“I know, I know. It’s casual.”

“Good,” she agrees, “I’m gonna go get another drink, but you should find Sidney when you get the chance, she missed you, too.”

Oh. Both Sid and Tate wanted me here. So Stu and Billy are the ones that have problems with me. Tate circles her way out of Stu’s grasp, laughing and throwing a look over her shoulder once she finally escapes. After she disappears into the crowd, I’m left alone with Stu.

Just when I’m about to break and say something to him, Noel returns, swinging an arm over my shoulder and pulling me towards him. “Hey, you wandered off.”

“Hi,” I grin, “Sorry, I saw someone I knew.”

“Oh, you’re friends with Macher?” Noel turns to look at Stu, who seems to snap out of a level of aloofness. “How you doing, man? I meant to check in after the whole Casey thing. I know you guys broke up awhile ago, but still, it’s gotta hurt.”

Wait--did Noel just say Stu used to date Casey?

How has that not come up? He was literally in the hospital with me after--? I guess that explains why he wasn’t thrilled when he saw me talking to her after homeroom. No one likes it when their friends talk to their exes, but not mentioning it at all? That’s weird.

“Hey, you okay?” Noel squeezes my arm. “You look a little uneasy.”

“She’s the girl that was at Casey’s the night it happened.” Stu explains, his tone a lot softer than anything he’s used around me since our argument. “She’s still sensitive about it. Aren’t you, angel?”

I blink twice, taking a long sip of room temperature beer. “I um--”

“Shit, that was you?” Noel takes an awkward semi-step away from me. “I must’ve forgot it was you. I didn’t mean to bring up any bad memories.”

“It’s fine.” I internally cringe at how fast the answer comes out. “I’m gonna, I need to use the bathroom.”

Waiting for nothing else, I turn on my heels. The sound of my name is faint in my ears as I rush away from the crowds. I just need a second away from this noise so that I can think.

“Hey, Y/n.” I nearly jump out of my skin as a hand grabs my arm. I turn too quickly, nearly stumbling into the wall behind me. Noel’s watching me with eyes that ooze sympathy. “I am so sorry about bringing up Casey. I didn’t know you knew her, let alone--”

“It’s fine,” I breathe through gritted teeth, “I just-I need a second.” Why am I melting down? Because he mentioned her name so casually? Because of the fact that Stu dated her?

“I didn’t um-I didn’t expect to hear her name. The things that have been making me spaz lately have been so random.”

Noel nods once, “That makes sense, I can’t even imagine it.” When I don’t ease, Noel drops his arm. “Wanna go into the kitchen? It’s quiet there and I can get you some water. You just-you kinda look like you want to throw up.”

I nod gently, letting Noel lead me out of the hallway and towards the kitchen. My stomach is in literal tangles, Noel nailed the ‘wanting to throw up’ thing.

He’s right. Stu’s kitchen is empty and well lit, making it a lot easier to breathe as Noel pulls a water bottle out of a cooler. “Are you feeling okay? You look really freaked out.”

I twist the lid off of the water bottle before bringing it to my mouth. I take small sips until nearly half the water’s gone. “Do you think it’s weird that Stu never mentioned they used to date?” The second the question is out, I regret it. Noel doesn’t know the situation. I don’t even really know the situation. I can’t start rumors like that based on a bad feeling after an emotional day. Especially not when talking to a guy I barely know. Maybe I could get away with bringing this up to Randy, but not Noel. “Oh my god, I’m a terrible person for asking that.”

“I don’t think you’re terrible,” Noel starts gently, “It’s natural to question everything after something like this happens.” I nod, fingers twisting the plastic cap between my fingers. “And I honestly don’t think it’s that weird that he didn’t bring it up.”

My eyebrows draw together at that. I press the cap into the counter with my thumb. “What?”

“It makes him look super suspicious. I don’t think I’d want to take that kind of heat over a girl I dated sophomore year of high school.” That’s a decent point, I guess. If most people have forgotten you dated someone, why bring it up when it could potentially ruin your life? “Plus, if we’re going to make everyone Casey Becker dated a murder suspect, the police will have their fair share of guys to look through.”

My thumb digs so deeply into the plastic that I can feel the ridges of the cap dig into my skin. “Are you seriously slut shaming her right now?” God, what is it with men? “My friend’s--she’s gone and you feel the need to make a joke about her dating life?”

“No!” He blurts out, moving like the implication scalded him. “No, I’m not saying that at all, I’m just saying that I know Stu. He’s a lot and he makes jokes, but he’s not a killer.” Noel shifts when he realizes that I’m not easing, “He’s not like his friend.”

What? “His friend?”

Noel leans against the counter. “Him and Billy are pretty close, and Billy seems impulsive and too attached to how people see him. I’ve known them since we were kids, but Billy’s the only one that gives me that vibe, y’know?” When I don’t say anything, he continues, “I’m not saying Billy did it, there’s no proof as far as I know. I’m just saying that’d surprise me less.” Noel’s gaze moves towards the cap I’m still fiddling with. “He’s just a little too...I don’t know--protective?”

The choice of wording cuts through me. While Stu’s up front about everything, Billy’s the one that’s quiet, hard to read, and cares so much about the people he’s close with in an invisible way. The way he reacted to me saying I might come here with Noel tonight demonstrates the distinction between them clearly. Stu was openly bothered, but Billy...he was nice. Maybe too nice?

Okay, that’s ridiculous. I can’t suspect Billy, the same Billy that was making pancakes with me this morning and grabbed the syrup off of the top shelf when I couldn’t, of murder. Especially not because he seems like less of a wild card than Stu.

But then again, most killers aren’t the larger than life personalities. The charismatic white guy is the bad guy so often I’m surprised they’re still never the first suspect.

Ugh. I hate thinking about this. I’ve had too much too drink and my head’s starting to hurt.

“I don’t think it’s Billy, for the record,” Noel says after I refuse to end our long stretch of silence, “I was just using him as a reference point.”

It can’t be Billy. It can’t be. I’m drunk and creating conspiracy theories out of panic. I’ve done it before. Two seconds ago I thought it could be Stu just because he didn’t feel like advertising the fact that he used to go out with a murder victim. I can’t just switch up based on whoever’s name I hear while I’m freaking out.

“Yeah.” My voice sounds hollow, unsure. “Sorry, this is a party, and that was bleak.”

“You’re fine,” Noel seems genuine, “You’ve been through so much I don’t even know how you’re out of the house. I’d be too scared to ever do anything again.”

I smile at his effort. “Guess I’m tougher than I look.” Letting go of my water bottle, I reach for the beer I abandoned. “No more talk about all of that, let’s just have fun.”

Noel picks up his own beer bottle, tapping the neck of it against mine. “I’ll drink to that.”

----

The alcohol, small talk, and forcing myself back into the party was supposed to help my anxiety. It hasn’t. No matter what I do, I can’t stop thinking through every interaction I’ve ever had with Billy. Even the nice things feel weird now. I couldn’t even bring myself to meet his gaze when he nodded in acknowledgement towards me earlier. And when Sid called me over, I pretended not to notice.

Ugh, I hate myself for letting these ideas get into my head.

There’s no proof. There’s nothing. And because of that, even if I could form an opinion, no one would believe me. Whenever I mention anything about that night, people look at me like a child that needs to be coddled. Their eyes get all sympathetic as they dismiss me with kind phrases like, anything’s possible and yeah, I think the police should look into that.

if I put this in the perspective of something I know well, all mysteries have evidence. They all go back to the crime scene. If Randy gets to pretend that this is a scary movie, I can pretend it’s a mystery novel.

And following that logic, I need to go back to Casey’s house.

After I pee. God, I don’t feel drunk, but it’s possible considering how many times I’ve abandoned Noel in the last hour to use the bathroom. I don’t hate the excuse to leave, everyone’s getting couple-y and making out and maybe Stu did have a tiny bit of a good reason for telling me not to come tonight.

Whoever’s in there is taking way too long. I lift my hand to knock again, but before I do, the door opens. The lack of physical object in the way throws me off. My fist flatly lands against a chest.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry!” I immediately take my hand back, looking up at the person who I accidentally hit. “I am--” The rest of my apology is lost as I realize that it’s Billy. I take two steps back as my heart thrums in my chest.

“Oh, Billy, it’s you.” Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh. A nervous giggle leaves me. “I um-I didn’t see you there.” Shaking my head dramatically, I start over, “I saw you, I just-I didn’t see--before, you know?”

He regards me cautiously. “How much have you had to drink?”

“Not much,” I mumble, digging my nails into my palms to avoid bouncing on the balls of my feel, “I um--I’m not your problem, anyways, remember?” It’s supposed to be a joke, or maybe an excuse for my aloofness, but it comes out too bitter. “Sorry, um, we can talk more tomorrow. Bookstore, right?” When Billy doesn’t move or say anything, I tilt my chin up, “Bathroom. I need to use the bathroom.”

Billy tilts his head, his expression unreadable as he takes a step forward. “You jumped when you saw me.”

My eyes widen. “No.” The denial is too quick, too offended. “I jumped because I didn’t expect to see you, or anyone.” I cross my arms in front of my chest, tying to seem steady. “I’ve been drinking.” I whisper the last word like it’s some kind of secret.

“I noticed,” Billy says flatly. His hands almost leave his sides like he’s considering trying to help stabilize me. Or do something more cynical. “Maybe you should get your boyfriend to take you home.”

Swallowing back my dread, I watch him for a long second, “Boyfriend? Oh, Noel, he’s not--I mean he’s nice.” He thinks you could be a murderer. “I don’t think he’s in the going home mood, and I need some air. I’m walking home after this.”

Billy presses his lips into a thin line. “Let me take you home, make sure you get to bed okay.”

“No.” The word is basically a pout, and the way I sway slightly doesn’t make things any better. “Not your problem anymore, remember?”

He pushes himself away from the doorway of the bathroom. Billy stalks towards me slowly. I hold my ground until Billy’s basically leaning over me. At that, I step back, but Billy keeps going until I’m backed into the wall.

The hallway is empty, but the party is still alive and well around the corner. It feels like a world away with Billy standing this close. “I never said you were a problem and I never said you weren’t mine.”

His words only half make sense, but the intensity of his tone edges me towards panic. “Billy,” I begin slowly, “I just want to go to the bathroom, splash some water on my face, and then go home.”

He places a hand next to my head and I feel air claw its way back down my throat at the implication. He’s trapping me. “You’ve been avoiding me all night. Didn’t even say anything to Sid when she tried waving you over.”

I shake my head the little bit I can in this position, silently praying that I don’t look like a deer caught in headlights. “No...I was just giving you guys the space you asked for.”

Billy leans impossibly closer, his hand sliding off the wall. I hold my breath until his thumb brushes against my cheek. Despite the tension in the air that I’d need a knife to cut through and my own nerves, my body relaxes instantly at the contact. “Do you remember when we first met?”

It was during lunch. Tatum was the one that first pulled me towards their group and Stu was the one that kept calling me over. It was my first day and I was super nervous about lunch. Stu called me over before I could freak out and then a few seconds later began a joke that turned some kid into a punchline. I remember not being super comfortable, but not wanting to say anything because I couldn’t risk it. Billy had jumped in and saved me from needing to make a comment about it.

“Yeah,” my voice is too soft, too flighty, “During lunch on my first day.”

He nods once, eyes taking on a kinder hue. “You know what the first thing I noticed about you was?” Billy doesn’t wait for me to respond, “That you can’t keep a single thought or opinion off of your face.”

Every drop of blood rushes down my body. The corner of Billy’s mouth turns upwards at my expression. “That’s how I know that you’re lying. You don’t want to go home. Where were you going?”

Staring at him is becoming too difficult. “The bathroom,” I mumble, “And then...Casey’s.”

And just like that, any cracks in Billy’s demeanor disappear. “Stu’s right when he says you’re one impulse away from playing Nancy Drew.” I don’t say anything, but Billy doesn’t seem to mind my silence. “You’re drunk, you should go home.”

“I’ll get there.” I try to sound serious as I say, “Go spend some time with your girlfriend, I’m fine.”

Billy looks at me for a long second, the fingers cupping my face pressing slightly into the skin of my neck. Something I don’t recognize flashes across his expression. All at once, it disappears and Billy steps away from me. “Sid would kill me if I let you wander the streets this drunk.”

“Don’t do me any favors, I’m not trying to be anyone’s responsibility.”

With a sigh, Billy looks me over again, “I’d worry too.” He studies my reaction, “Friends worry about their friends.” When I don’t protest, Billy continues, “Go to the bathroom, I’ll walk you home after.”

----

I’m being ridiculous. If I don’t start acting normal, Billy’s going to realize that I’m freaking out. If he hasn’t already.

Shaking the thought out of my system, I keep my eyes on the ground. People saw us leave together. Sid gave me a quick hug and told Billy to take his time keeping an eye on me, considering the fact that no one’s waiting for me at home and I’ve been kinda jumpy. Two girls from two of my different classes waved goodbye to me. I wanted to say goodbye to Noel, but I couldn’t find him.

The October air bites against my skin. My mom could get away with wearing this in Texas no matter the time of year because it’s actually hot there. I keep my arms tucked into myself for warmth.

“Here.” Billy’s stopped walking, and now he’s holding his arm out to me.

I blink, realizing after a second too long that he’s offering me his jacket. He’s looking just past me like he can’t bring himself to meet my eyes. It’s weirdly cute in an awkward way. The endearment that I feel quickly melts into guilt.

I take the jacket, shrugging it on. “Thanks.”

“Are you okay?” Billy takes a step towards me, nearly making me trip off the sidewalk. “Be honest.” When I still can’t bring myself to say anything, Billy’s expression seems to cloud, “We’re not at a party, we’re not at school. It’s just you and me.”

It’s ironic that the only anchor I feel is the warmth of Billy’s jacket. The patience that he’s looking at me makes the dam break. “I--I feel like I’m going crazy, all the time.” My answer is so honest, my throat feels raw. “And I feel like that because I lived I’m like indebted to the universe or something. Like--like I’m supposed to do something for Casey, but I can’t do anything because I don’t even feel like I can trust my own thoughts.” A small scoff leaves me. I’ve never been this pathetic. “What if I’m never normal again? I-I tried watching the movie that we were gonna watch before it happened the other day and I couldn’t even get through the first five minutes. And I--I loved that movie.”

By the time I’m done with my rant, Billy is close enough to me to pull me into a hug. I let him, slowly moving my arms back around him. “It’s been a week,” he whispers, “You just need time.” I nod into his chest. “And in the mean time, we can find a better movie than A Nightmare on Elm Street.”

I move away far enough to wipe at my face with the back of my hands. “Yeah,” I smile stiffly through a sniffle, “I just want to go home and not drink again for a really long time.”

Billy lets go of me. I turn slowly, already starting to walk again. Billy stays behind me. Shit, he picked up on it. I break out into a run, ignoring the confusion in my body. Billy’s footsteps are deceptively quiet behind me.

We’re only blocks away from my house. I can--I can get there.

He grabs my forearm, forcing me to face him. “Wh-what’s gotte--”

“How’d you know what movie was playing?!” Billy pauses, his grip on my arm tightening. “I didn’t tell you. I only told one person, and it-it was the guy on the phone.” His lips part, but before he can speak I stomp on his foot with all of my strength. It doesn’t affect him until I throw all of my weight back, forcing him to loosen his hold just enough for me to squirm away from him.

I start running again, taking off my wedged heels and throwing them blindly behind me, hoping that they somehow slow him down. Those shoes are more of a hazard than running barefoot.

Now it’s just me and a race against Billy as I try to think of every horror movie mistake I could possibly make. My instinct is to run through the woods in order to potentially lose him, but that’s literally the opening scene mistake. So I just run fast and straight, staying on the illuminated sidewalk path and never looking behind me to see if he’s still following.

The house is only steps away from me. “Y/n!” Shit. I pick up the pace, ignoring the ache in my side and chest. “Let me explain!” I scramble to unlock the door. Billy’s close.

Just as I throw open the door, Billy’s fingers brush against my shoulder. A scream that I can’t even recognize as my own bleeds from me as I slam the door behind me. Billy pushes against the wood, but I was expecting him to do that. I use all of my force to shove against the door. After slamming it hard a few times, the door shuts just enough for me to be able to twist the lock into place.

This isn’t my first time trying to keep an angry man locked out of the house so I know better than to move away from the door while he’s still pounding on it. “You can’t believe that I’d do that.”

My eyes squeeze shut, tears blurring my vision. “Just go away! Please.”

“Not if you think I killed them.” He continues to knock and try the door handle. “You think I’d hurt you?”

I’m still struggling to breathe and the adrenaline is starting to wear off. My head is starting to pound.

A familiar ringing cuts through my emotional haze. The phone. The living room extension is only a few steps away from me. It could be my mom calling because she can’t sleep, or my dad, or maybe even Hallie. All I know is that it’s a lifeline, and Billy’s no longer shaking the front door.

I keep one hand on the door for as long as I can before picking up the receiver. “Mom?”

A dark laugh that’s played almost every night in my head since I first heard it absorbs all the hope from my body. “I’ll give you one more guess, doll face, just cause I like you so much.”

My bones are glass, the phone slips from my grasp. It clatters onto the ground, not loud enough to be heard over my heartbeat. The last time I ignored him, he didn’t take it well. That’s the only reason I find the strength to sit down and pick up the phone. I push myself back so that my back is pressed into the front door.

“You back yet? You’re cute, but I don’t like being ignored.” My breath comes out just shaky enough for it to be audible. “Oh, I hear you. What’s wrong, doll face? Not happy to hear from me?” My lips part, but my voice has completely left me. “Aw, keep the silent treatment up and you’ll hurt my feelings. And I play a lot less nice when my feelings are hurt. Might even have to take it on your buddy Billy Loomis, since you left him locked out like that.”

Billy? “I-I’m still not sure that this isn’t Billy, but if it’s not leave him alone.”

“Maybe you’ll believe it’s not him when he turns up gutted like your little friend.”

The reference to Casey forces my stomach to lurch. I swallow back bile. “Why’d you do that?” I force my hand over my mouth as I almost let out a cry. Did I just kill Billy? “Why-why do that to Casey and just let me live?” Wiping my face with my palm harshly, I try to keep my voice steady, “Why call me now?”

There’s the slightest bit of motion audible over the receiver. “What can I say, baby doll? I missed your voice.” If I felt any strength left in my body, I would have rolled my eyes at that. “You should already know why I let you live. You said it yourself the first time I called you.”

“What?”

He lets out a cruel laugh at such blatant confusion. “I’m not doing all of this to make a bad scary movie. And all the greats have a final girl, you said it yourself.” As his words sink in, a sob threatens to escape the confines of my chest. If he means what he’s saying, then a lot more people are going to die. “And, sweet cheeks, you’re mine.”

The possessive sort of growl that makes up the last word sends a chill straight through me. This game of cat and mouse is starting to make me sick. A floorboard from upstairs creeks and instinct takes over. “But you have to earn it, doll face, no fun if it’s guaranteed.”

I force myself to stand on shaky legs. He could be in the house. Billy and Stu had no trouble getting in last night, but Billy already knew about my window. My breaths are too shallow as I reach the kitchen, stealing a knife from the block on the counter.

“You know,” I start, trying to sound braver than I feel, “A lot of times final girls kill the slasher.”

Another sharp chuckle. “I’m glad I picked you.”

Footsteps are coming from the stairwell. I grip the knife’s handle, trying to force myself to walk towards the stairs. “You won’t feel that way forever.”

“Feisty,” the voice either growls or groans, I can’t tell.

My skin crawls as the steps from the stairs sound closer than ever. I hold the knife out in front of me with shaking hands.

“Y/n, I--” Billy stops in front of me, holding his hands out in front of him. “I just wanted to tell you that I knew the movie because they printed it in the newspaper. It was in the VCR when the police found you and they listed it in that article where they listed everything that was in Casey’s living room.”

There was that one article that over analyzed everything about what was in Casey’s house. They even listed the lipglosses Casey was showing me and a bottle of opened nail polish we left out. The explanation paired with the fact that the person on the other line is still there leave my head spiraling.

“Billy?” He’s probably so mad at me and I-I just--how did we end up here? I drop the knife, letting it hit the ground.

“I leave your friend alone and you thank me by ignoring me?” The voice on the other end of the line snaps me out of it.

After stuttering for a moment, I finally blurt out, “Leave him alone.”

“Protective,” the voice muses, “Careful, baby doll, I might get jealous.” Before I can get myself to speak again, the line goes dead.

Billy’s the one that knocks me out if my panicked trance. He delicately places a hand on my shoulder. I can’t breathe. I don’t think I’m crying until my vision turns blurry. He tugs me towards him, placing a hand on my back. He rubs my back soothingly. “You’re okay.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, my voice hoarse, “I’m so sorry, I--”

“It’s okay,” he whispers, letting me hug him tightly, “It’s okay.” Billy pulls me away just enough so that I can look him in the eye. “We’ll call the police and figure it out, okay?” I nod, but make no move to let go of him.

----

Taglist: @cole22ann @womenarecannibals @fand0mskullfa1ry @princessleah129 @i-amnotokaywiththis @fvcking-gxddess @suckmyass-things

----

A/n things were getting a little too nice and i had to remind y’all hehe

#scream #scream x reader #screa 1996 #billy loomis #billy loomis x reader #stu macher #stu macher x reader #ghostface #ghostface x reader #poly!ghostface #poly! ghostface x reader

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bourbon-ontherocks · 1 month

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20 questions for writers

I was tagged by @pia-writes-things (ty!!! ❤️)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

46!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

703,271. Which is, um, a lot.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Good Girls (formerly), HPI (formerly), and l'Art du Crime. There's also a random bit for les Combattantes, and one GG fic has a shared universe with Graceland. I'm very mono-fandom lol.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Take A Dip

It's All Coming Back To Me

It Hurts When I See You Struggle

Love And War

We're Living In A Powder Keg And Giving Off Sparks

Unsurprisingly, these are all GG fics, although I don't think my kudos ranking is accurate because most of these were impacted by the great kudos-bombing gate from 2020 so it's hard to tell what's actually my most kudo-ed fic.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely. My secret goal is to keep the conversation going back and forth for the longest possible time because I love the opportunity for a good ramble about my writing 😈

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I wanna say Ad vitam æternam (L'art du crime)? I mean, it's literally an MCD fic, so, not that merry... Also if I remember correctly, Always lost in the sea (HPI) doesn't end on a very hopeful note either.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't know? All of them? None? I generally tend to go for happy open endings with that extra bit of bittersweet so I really couldn't tell. But hey, maybe the ending to that thing I'm currently writing actually is the happiest of it all, because oh boy, things do get cheesy at some point 🥺

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No at all! Unless you count that one person who commented on several chapters of whichever long GG fic I wrote just to point blank hate on Beth character lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Of course I do (in English only), I like my porn toxic and desperate and angsty with just the right amount of power play and mutual hatred. Basically, I write hatefuck 😂

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not really, no... I've tried a couple of times, but I think I'm better at/more interested in mimicking existing interactions than inventing a dynamic between characters who never met canonically (and also, boy the kind of SETUP you need to justify some characters crossing paths... it's just too much work). I'm more of a cameo/easter egg kind of writer, so once in a while I'll allow a character from another fandom to pop up in a fic and say hi, but it's really a blink-and-you'll-miss-it kind of encounter.

I guess my craziest attempt would be that Crazy Ex-Girlfriend / Good Girls crossover that I never finished though, cause like, super different moods?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of but I don't really attempt to know

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! By myself lol. I once posted a fic in two languages before acknowledging it was a hell of an additional work 😭

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Kinda? We never finished nor even posted it but at some point we shared a quite unhinged co-writing story with @whiskeyjack and @00gangfriend00 and it was a lot of fun 🥰

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

You... you guys have that? You don't just live by your Ship of the Moment just to instantly forget about it and hop on the Next Ship when it shows up? I'm sorry but I don't think I have one of those.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

What a trap question!!! 😂

It's All Coming Back To Me, obviously. Look, I really really want to finish it, not even for me at this point, but for the 120-something people who subscribed to it, for the faithful readers who still leave me comments every now and then hoping for closure. I know how it ends. I have it partially written. I just don't seem to know how to write for Good Girls anymore, and getting my head back into it feels like such an insurmountable load of work, I just- I'm trying, ok?

But like, if someone's interested in helping, or even writing that ending based on my notes (and getting full and proper credits for it obvi), just let me know! I'm really open to it 🥲

16. What are your writing strengths?

Probably dialogues? I've been told many times that my dialogues feel very close to the original, and the thing is, I write about TV shows and I have a very good ear so I think I catch quite easily the actors' voices and tones and mannerisms in my head, so every time I write down a line, I play it several times in my mind with the character's voice to determine whether they would say it like that or not. Looks like it's not working so bad.

Also I *think* I'm not too bad at stream-of-consciousness inner monologues. At least it's one of my favourite things to write so there's that.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes (that includes sex lol). Filling the gaps between the important parts. Descriptions. Setting up the scene.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Like, featuring two different languages inside the same fic, or writing in different languages? I'm not sure I've ever really written the first one? I guess I find it a bit clunky, occasionally I've written scenes that included a character whose native language wasn't the one of the fic, and I'd give them a line or two if that's relevant to the plot (for instance, if characters are lost somewhere in another country, I can add a line/dialogue in another language for comedic effect. Or it can be a way for a character to whisper something for themselves), but the logistics are quite nightmarish, you gotta either assume your audience knows the second language, or translate the lines in the author's note, or have another character translate it in a way that doesn't sound too articifial, that's really really tedious haha

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Good Girls.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

You think I know that? Out of FOURTY-SIX??? Lol. Get out.

Tagging: @sdktrs12 @joeyjoeylee if you're around @riosnecktattoo @humanbra @hemerae-ramblings @sothischickshe @asteraceae-blue

#tagging games #writing #my fic #fanfic

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f0xgl0v3 · 5 months

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Legacies in Camp Jupiter/Just Pjo?

Wow I am on a roll! Anyway I’ve been wanting to do this and the power post just really dragged up this issue in my head back to the forefront, and it is someone that really continuously confuses me on a basic level of how Rick chose to let this category function.

Legacies are a type of Demigod introduced in HoO that are directly related to Gods but aren’t first generation. They are not children of gods but like grandkids, great-grandkids, so on and so on. This is not a new concept, it is as old as myths themselves, the first thing that pops up in my mind was Troy’s royal family was said in myths to be descended from Zeus. That makes someone like Hector (in Pjo-verse vocabulary) a legacy in the Pjo canon.

But.. Legacies aren’t really different to demigods? Like- not different enough that they would get classified as differently-? For several reasons I believe, but the main three points I want to make (because apparently all my thoughts come in packs of 3), is that 1) Legacies and Demigods are shown to have the same godly-ability level as one another/ it’s inconsistent, 2) somewhat through the books themselves they just sort of stop using the word Legacy/Legacies never have anything that set them apart from demigods, 3) this is a new concept to distinguish them (this is the weakest but it feels weird that Rick decided to differentiate Legacies and Demigods when myths never really did too much, but when did Rick care about the source material- okay, that was rude I’m just still annoyed over Ares-)

Anyway,

Legacies and Demigods powers. Legacies are shown to have similar power levels to Demigods, or those powers are inconsistent. I bring this up because it feels odd? That legacies would have a similar broad level of abilities while still being more mortal than god (this depends and I’ll talk about what I think for like hc on New Rome and their legacy population) but we have characters like Bryce Lawerence; who has powers like, shadow travel (the shadow travel is implied but I’ll get into why it’s likely he has some form of enhanced ability to travel), enhanced tracking (also implied but this will fit into the travel thing), summoning the damned souls of those who broke oaths, along with being implied to have visited the underworld at some point because he mentions hearing the screams of the fields of punishment. But let’s also remember that BoO takes place somewhere in 8-9 days (starts July 20, ends Aug 3) the Bryce attack scene is on chapter XXX while Bryce being brought back to the legion is in chapter VI. No less than if I remember correctly like 2-3 days could’ve past. There are a couple things, he’s stealthy enough that Nico doesn’t notice him. We don’t get any confirmation that he’d been following them for a while (from all I know of Bryce’s character I have to assume he wasn’t or he would’ve 100 percent taken the first chance to attack them) but he is able to get from Long Island to South Carolina on foot, and seemingly appear out of nowhere. There is probably a logical explanation but also considering the fact he knows what’s happening to Nico (that shadow traveling fading that doesn’t seem to matter?) makes me consider and lean more to the idea that he can shadow travel (honestly would love to make another post on Bryce Lawerence because no one cares about him but I really find him interesting). But if he can do the (implied shadow travel) and the very apparent necromancy he has the same skill set of Nico! Never mind the tiny little difference in the necromancy, they have the same power and the same level of that power. The difference is that one is a legacy, and one is a Demigod- but there doesn’t seem to be a power difference. Secondly Frank’s shapeshifting thing, I’ll be real and say I just think that’s a thing because like Poseidon gifted it? I think of it as the same way that like the Red panda gift from turning Red is going strong because it was a blessing or whatever. And Octavian, who is (said, for some reason Rick wanted to put in that maybe Octavian never had powers at all but that’s stupid and takes away what little things Octavian has) but he also, doesn’t seem to have a dip in powers? I don’t care much for seeing the Apollo kids but it seems that they all can have varied powers (fitting seeing as Apollo was a god of so many things) and Octavian’s skill doesn’t seem limited in any way (would’ve been great if we got more information on it because we have no idea how it works compared to say, the way we know how the Oracle stuff works) but all of this puts a clear image that from the legacies we know, there doesn’t seem to be a big difference in power. Which is odd, seeing as they don’t feel like they should.

Through HoO Rick really just like- stopped talking about legacies? I’m laughing as I’m writing this but know it’s a saddened laugh because like. Rachel refers to Octavian as Son of Apollo (Which could be argued she doesn’t know what a Legacy is but I feel like since her Oracle powers told her everything else it would’ve informed her of his proper title- or I guess not because the writing didn’t care at all about Octavian-) and I think Reyna mentions Bryce is a legacy though it’s not referenced any more. Bryce just brings up Orcus in some dialogue and that’s about it. If you’re going to bring up a new type of Demigod then why not explore them more? HoO doesn’t explore like anything but still, Frank never has thoughts about his Legacy stuff. We don’t even get any notes about Greek demigods not considering most of the Roman Legacies Demigods because they aren’t the direct Children of the Gods? It just like- Legacies kind of do nothing, there is nothing different about a legacy.

Mythology doesn’t even really distinguish the two? Like- again because I’ve read the Iliad and Odyssey it’s what I always think first. Hector mentions he is also related to Zeus- that there is a distinct thing about demigods like Sarpedon, Achilles, and Aeneas. But there never is something where it calls out, “Oh Hectors great-great-great grandpa is Zeus and that’s super different and crazy” but it’s just “Hectors related to Zeus y’know and he’s gonna kick your butt man >:[“ obviously this is a random point because those are ancient texts. But we have to remember that Pjo is founded off of these myths and the fact that Legacies are a part of these myths but distinctly different (literally everyone who is descended from Zeus which is literally everyone- not literally but like-) operate differently, they are essentially no different than their fully mortal companions other than they can sport a God ancestor and the most convoluted family tree.

Okay. Those are the points that I’ve made. All of those boil down into like “Rick did nothing to differentiate Legacies from Demigods other than slap a different name on them” and that’s a missed opportunity. It’d be like if something like Harry Potter went, “Here are wizards that are said to be different than other magic users but all that’s different are their titles!” That might be a thing I don’t know I don’t consume Harry Potter. But there was a ball and it was slammed into the ground (huh, almost like Rick did that with a lot of things related to Camp Jupiter and the Romans- also the Romans canonically have cars and I don’t like that). But I have some Head-canons about legacies for my re-imagining to hopefully make them, make more sense?

The longer a legacy line is, the more ‘diluted’ the power becomes. Like in the myths, after you hit a certain point most legacies will have incredibly weak powers. This adds to the powers post I made (shameless plug that you should read that one too because I’m proud of it.) and how the legacies affect the Romans view on powers. But this means that the farther you get down a family line the less and less powerful the power is. Say a child of Zeus has children and then like ten generations down the line the descendants could be more resistant to lightning, conduct it easier and attract it a little more, maybe jump a big higher but that’s about it. Example, Michael Kahale In my re-imagining comes from a super duper long line and his powers pretty much are, I look pretty, I’m a little more persuasive from remnants of charm-speak (and I want to buff up the Aphrodite cabin more because Rick really just didn’t care when it came to them)

This doesn’t include ‘gifts’ like Frank’s. I think by the will of the God that blessed the ancestor with it they keep the power strong. This goes the same way for curses, maybe. If the curse is not revered than it probably is passed onto your kid.

In common sense, the fresher the legacy the more potent the power. And sometimes there can be mutations that a child can end up with more potent powers, whether that be the wishes of the Godly ancestor or they just get miracle genes it could act as a soft re-boot to strengthen the powers. For examples; Bryce is a very new legacy, his dad is the direct child of Orcus and Bryce gets passed down all of the cool powers (also need a hc for his mother because she comes from a legacy line) or Octavian was just.. born with the more potent powers, I like to think Apollo noted him and took interest to strengthen his powers for some reason. (Note he also is a legacy of Venus but I haven’t worked out if that affects him and how, but the Venus part is much more downplayed)

Legacies who have mixed godly blood/ several different lines that have merged have a little from everything, their powers are weaker but if like for example a Child of Athena with a Hermes legacy might have a easier time stealing things, or be a little faster than their peers. But these end up very minimal because the direct child aspect overpowers it a lot (idk I don’t know hypothetical demigod genes and how they work so let’s just go with it) this is similar with legacies+legacies though the family will usually stick to one legacy title (sort of how last names are passed on, but a partner wouldn’t take up the legacy title of the family. But a child would) while the powers honestly could be all over the place

Okay that’s all I think right now, if I have anything else I’ll probably make a separate post but for me right now it is very nighttime and I need my sleep so I can crush my siblings in various unserious competition.

#idk how to tag this #pjo hoo toa #camp jupiter #hoo #hoo headcanon #really I just talk about Bryce #jk jk #legacies are so confusing #Nico is a legacy of Nike and maybe one day I’ll make a post about the one time I saw that hc and I adopted it #okay bye #hehe :3 #goodnight

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currentlyobsessedwithobi-wan · 5 months

Text

To the person who asked me to make a list of my favorites Star Wars time travel fanfictions, and anyone who may be interested, first of all sorry that it took me so long. For some reasons my dumbass self didn’t bookmark the fics so I had to go and search them.

Secondly, I don’t want to disappoint but you should know that I’m not really picky when it comes to fanfics. Meaning that there’s a lot of thing that I don’t actually agree with but that I’m ready to accept in fanfics (for example madalorians. I honestly don’t know enough to either love or hate them in canon but I don’t ,mind them in fanfictions, as long as they’re not just here to bash the Jedi). Really, my only hard limit is no Jedi bashing.

That being said, here are some of my favorites that I was able to find again (most of them are incomplete or WIPs). I tried to put a simple description for most of them, but if you want something really accurate I advise you to just check the fanfiction :

The Lesson by cjwritesfanficnow

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26486284/chapters/85863850 :

Work in Progress. This one is pro Jedi but also pro Mandalorian and feature Jango/Obi-wan, so be warned if it’s not your cup of tea.

Basically, Jango realize what an ass he was, and is confronted with the consequences of his actions. Then he get to time travel in order to fix it.

Little Light Age by SpideyGrayson

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44444098/chapters/111788134 :

In progress. This one is also Pro Jedi. It’s mostly fluff for now. Ship : Cody/Obi-wan.

Obi-wan is send in the past, back when he’s 12, and becomes Shaak Ti’s Padawan instead of Qui-Gon’s.

Take it from the top and try again

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3535600 :

it’s a serie of two fics, one completed and one in progress. I honestly don’t remember if it’s completly pro Jedi or Jedi critical. But it’s not straight up Jedi Bashing. No ships for now.

Obi-wan is sent back at the time of Phantom Menace, and wants to save everyone (yes Anakin too, so if you truly truly hate him this one is probably not for you). It involves a lot of politics.

To Fix the Shattered Past by Forever_A_Thief

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42912192 :

Work in progress. For now it’s (and hopefully will stay) Pro-Jedi. But it’s Qui-Gon critical/bashing (because, you know, Legends). Anakin friendly (yes again, sorry to those who may be bothered by that). Dooku redemption (one of those things that I only accept in fanfiction. Though in this one, if I remember correctly Galidraan hasn’t happened yet and Dooku is not even close to falling).

Obi-wan, Anakin and Ashoka are send back in time during Melida-Daan. Obi-wan is physically 13, Anakin 6-9, and Ahsoka 3. For now it’s a lot of fluff (i like fluff, okay ? 😆) and a bit of angst.

Reprise by Elfpen :

https://archiveofourown.org/series/454408 :

A serie composed of four main parts. Three completed, and one in progress. Honestly, I read this one a long time ago so I don’t remember much. But I know that I liked it a lot. I would have to re-read. But I also read this before I became completly Pro Jedi so beware that this one may be slightly Jedi critical.

Since, like I said I don’t remember much I don’t want to risk making a mistake while describing it. I just remember that Obi-wan comes back as an adult (as Ben) and so there’s two Obi-wan : Qui-Gon’s padawan and the Obi-wan who died and time traveled. So if you want to know more, just click on the link.

Unexpected awakening by Rhiw

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15436701/chapters/35831454 :

Work in progress. Once again, remember reading, somewhat remember liking it, yet for some reasons can’t remember any details. By the tag, seems to be Pro Jedi. No ships tagged.

Please click on the link to know more.

Edit : so, I started re-reading this fic right after I posted this. I’m at chapter 4 for now, and it’s actually seems to be very Pro Jedi. And I really likes the writing style. I don’t really know how to describe it, but to me it’s almost…soothing. Where I’m at in the fic it’s still mostly hurt/comfort, but that’s the kind of thing that I really enjoy.

Revolving sun by SiennahRobek

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31766296 :

Work in progress (though I don’t know if it’s abandoned or not). Pro Jedi. Semi Anakin friendly. No ships.

It’s an alternate universe where Luke is raised by Obi-wan (and is somewhat his padawan) and they both ends up back in time, during the clone war. I really like this one despite it being incomplete.

When The Time is Right by robinasnyder

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26242654 :

Incomplete (still in progress? Dunno). Anakin friendly (listen there’s not a lot of time travel fanfics that are Anakin critical. Believe me I actually like it when he has to face consequences). Pro Jedi if my memory serves me right, but you should probably check just in case. Ships are : adult Obi-wan/Cody, kid Obi-wan/Cerasi/Nield.

Obi-wan, Anakin, Padmé and some clones ends up in the past. Obi-wan for some reasons that I can’t remember takes Bruck Chun as his padawan.

Teach the Padawan. Save the galaxy. by alexjanna91 https://archiveofourown.org/series/2520193

A serie of 4 works (each completed). Ships are : obi-wan (Ben) Kenobi /Tahl and temporary young Obi-wan/Satine. Kookie is Obi-wan’s son (I honestly didn’t remember this before doing my researches), So this is the fic that I talked about in my original post about time travel fanfictions. Be aware that while Jedi are still the good guys in this, it’s rather critical toward the Jedi Code. Pro Mandalorian (I think) but they’re not the main guys. I decided to add it here anyway because even if I have my issue with it now that I’m pro Jedi I still feel…nostalgic, since it’s one of the first time travel fanfiction that I have ever read.

Ben Kenobi is send back in time, save his younger self from Melida-Daan. Then he takes young Obi-wan as his padawan and trains him. And tries to save the galaxy.

Well, that all for now. Please let me know if I made any mistakes, and I’ll correct it (if I’m not too lazy).

#star wars #jedi order #pro jedi #well mostly #Fanfictions list #Pretty sure there’s an official tag for that but I don’t remember #obi wan kenobi #time travel #fanfiction #star wars prequels #ben kenobi

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littlefoxwithadagger · 5 months

Text

Zee's 2023 Reads

Stats:

Books read ˋ°•*⁀➷ 62

Books DNFed ˋ°•*⁀➷ 9

Five-star reads ˋ°•*⁀➷ 23

Note: ☆ counts as a half star, since there isn’t a half star emoji

I tried not to tag any books I didn’t like because I don’t like to hate on books in their fandom tags, so if I accidentally tagged something I have a bad review, please tell me 😭

This list is chaos and I defintely ripped into some of these books because I hated them. Be warned. (I’m sorry ACOTAR fans. Maybe don’t read this if that’s your favorite book series. I didn’t hate them, but I certainly had quite a few criticisms.)

Also, if you see the reviews start to get way longer in October, that’s because I started this post in October, so everything I read after that was reviewed immediately after reading.

↳ March (2)

Red Queen - Victoria Aveyard

March 3rd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I read this by request of my aunt (it's her favorite book series) and honestly it was just kinda boring and not my taste...not to mention the ending REALLY pissed me off. The whole powers thing was kinda cool, but the dystopian main plot was kind of generic? Which is fine, but this was kind of bland for a first book. Will not be finishing the series.

Glass Sword - Victoria Aveyard

March 10th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️, DNF

This is the sequel to Red Queen, and frankly I think I read about three chapters of it before I DNFed. The main reason I DNFed this was because of the ending of the first book. I won’t go into detail about it because it spoils the end of the first book, but after my favorite character was taken away from me, I couldn’t finish this series.

Overall, I think this series had great potential but bad execution. I may try to read it again in the new year just to give the entire series a proper, full review, but at the time that I read this, I wasn’t into reading much at all and therefore couldn’t read a book just to say I’d read it.

↳ May (7)

Les Misérables - Victor Hugo

May 5th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

By far my favorite classic thanks to my mom encouraging me to read it. Loads of beautiful prose and a compelling plot line. I especially liked how he wove a bunch of stories that seemed not at all connected into one. Jean Valjean was a very complicated character, and I enjoyed following his story as it progressed. It felt very full-circle, even if the ending was a bit sad. The author took us all over France, and I felt very immersed in the world even though there was no visual for it. I also appreciated seeing the side characters grow over the length of the story. There were quite a few side characters who got a full arc despite not needing it. I'll probably reread this someday, just not now.

Flip the Script - Lyla Lee

May 20th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This is a cute sapphic love story between two teenage actresses starring together in a Korean drama. Fun fact - I didn't realize it was sapphic for a good while and was confused why sexuality was a hot topic in the book. Whoops! Cute anyways, and the plotline kept me interested.

The Selection - Kiera Cass

May 26th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This was my first reread of the year! I read this book back in 2021 originally by request of a friend. Rereading it was a bit of a let-down. I found the main girl annoying at times and overall the plot just kinda felt...meh. I will say that I was a bit disappointed that Maxon was the main guy at first because I really loved Aspen, but I think Maxon grew on me quite a bit more towards the end of this book. It was also easier for me to love him on the reread because I’d followed the full story already, so I think I appreciated his character more on this read than I did on the first read. I'm also not huge into dystopian, so that did kill my enjoyment of this a bit.

The Elite - Kiera Cass

May 27th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

To continue my Selection reread, I read this. This book was better than the first one, though some of it was just very boring if I'm remembering correctly. It was nice to have a smaller group of girls and get to see them getting to know each other better, and this alone made the book more enjoyable than the last. I think the political tension upped a bit in this book, which I didn’t really like, but it did lead to quite a few great scenes between America and Maxon.

The One - Kiera Cass

May 28th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

To complete the Selection reread, I read this. This was by far the best book in the trilogy. It was fun and full of action, and Maxon and America finally got themselves together. There was a great love confession from Maxon at the very end which will forever have my heart. Five stars just for making me swoon honestly. There were a few things that frustrated me in this book, such as the fact that America and Maxon still didn’t seem to trust each other for a lot of this book, but that’s their problem, not mine. I definitely enjoyed the scene where America saw Maxon’s scars for the first time. It was a very sweet scene, and I love emotional vulnerability between characters. 💔

Honorable mention - The Heir - Kiera Cass

May 29th, ⭐️⭐️, DNF

This book sucked to put it frankly. I recall enjoying it the first time I read it, but upon reread I found the main character entirely unbearable (making America look like a saint) and I think I made it about ten pages before deciding it wasn't worth the reread. I wish I didn't own this book.

The Love Hypothesis - Ali Hazelwood

May 29th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This book was what really got me back into reading, and I'd been wanting to read it for months after hearing about it all over the internet. I gave it four stars at the time because I cringed a bit at the number of times the main girl referred to the main guy as "big" or something of the sort but overall found it enjoyable. Honestly, I'd probably rate this lower if I re-read it, but I'm not going to bother testing that theory. It got me back into picking up books, and that's what matters.

↳ June (9)

A Court of Thorns and Roses - Sarah J. Maas

June 10th, ⭐️⭐️☆, DNF

This book...was disappointing. This was the first book I bought from the store without reading it first because the internet had me so convinced I'd enjoy it. I didn't. I found myself so bored I didn't bother reading past page 100 before I returned the book to the store. I don't really have much to say about it other than it was boring, honestly. Feyre also annoyed me a decent bit.

The Romantics - Leah Konen

June 14th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️, DNF

This book had the same problem as ACOTAR, only far worse. This book felt like it had absolutely no substance, and I read at least half of it. The entire book was narrated by the entity of Love, and all of the characters we got introduced to were only ever surface-level. I felt like I was watching a bunch of strangers interact with each other. Perhaps it was just that young teenage romance isn’t really my cup of tea, but I found the plot entirely uninteresting.

Once Upon a Broken Heart - Stephanie Garber

June 19th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

My babyyyyyyyyyy <3 My bread and butter, the reason I got into fantasy books. Definitely not as compelling as the second book, but compelling nonetheless. Jacks and Evangeline have insane tension and it was overall just great. I absolutely loved the whole kisses deal, though I’ll admit this book was NOT what I thought it was. When I picked it up, I was expecting Jacks to be an actual prince, and I was quite surprised to find that he was more of a demigod. Either way, it was a great book, and if you love romantacy, I’d recommend this for SURELY. (I’m biased, can’t you tell? This is a OUBAH blog, after all.)

The Ballad of Never After - Stephanie Garber

June 20th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'd give this book six stars if I could. This entire book was just pining and drama, and I live for it. Not to mention...the Hollow? Yes. Yes, yes yes. Everything about this book, yes. The curses in this book were completely crazy, and I felt like we got a lot more world building in this book. The entire world felt a lot more complete in this book, and we really got to start to piece together Jacks’s backstory. Lovely.

One True Loves - Elise Bryant

June 21st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm pretty sure I actually read this book last year, but it got put into my book tracker in July so I'm leaving it here. This was a cutsey little romance about a girl who goes on a cruise in Europe. I don't remember much about it, but I remember loving the two main characters and the realtionship they had with each other.

Happily Ever Afters - Elise Bryant

June 21st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Pretty sure this is the book before One True Loves? They're in the same series, I know that. This was a cutsey little book about a baker guy and a writer girl who ended up at the same high school. Absolutely loved the character growth the main character had over the course of the book.

In Order to Live - Yeonmi Park

June 26th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was a biography written by a woman who escaped North Korea. It was truly an amazing read, and this is the one book I cried while reading this year! I would definitely recommend this to anyone because it is extremely informative while also being very immersive.

Caraval - Stephanie Garber

June 27th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Back to Stephaine Garber! Honestly, I started reading this series for Jacks, but the first book is something entirely on its own. I absolutely loved Julian and Scarlett, and I'll be rereading this again soon. The book very much immersed the reader, and I felt like I was a player in Caraval myself. There was so much fun to be had in this book, and honestly it could just be read as a stand-alone.

Legendary - Stephanie Garber

June 31st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I drove all the way to the other side of town to get this book, that's how good the first one was. This book was less enjoyable than the first, but the plot was extremely compelling. Sadly, I’m not a huge fan of Tella, so I struggled to immerse myself in this book the way I got immersed in Caraval.

↳ July (11)

(Was I ok in July? How many books is this, Zee?)

Finale - Stephanie Garber

July 1st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Jacks. That's about all I have to say about this book.

Sugar, Spice, and Can’t Play Nice - Annika Sharma

July 2nd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Not sure why, but I decided to dump $16? $17? on this when I went to Barnes and Noble with a friend, so I had to finish it. There was a tad too much sexual tension and not enough romance between the main characters for my taste, but it was a good book. I especially enjoyed that the author did so much with her own culture in the book. Both of the characters learned the importance of truly connecting with someone over the course of the book, and I thought it was lovely.

The Spanish Love Deception - Elena Armas

July 2nd, ⭐️⭐️, DNF

This book was...something. I - yet again - purchased a book without reading it first. Learned my lesson this time. I have honestly no idea what this book is about because I read only fifty pages of it and there was...too much of her referring to him as "big" and "tall". I get it. He's tall and wide. Can we please discuss why you hate him? I'd love to know, really. Perhaps this book is for you if you like extreme sexualization of tall, buff men, but it’s not for me.

The Inheritance Games - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

July 6th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Queen. Puzzles and drama galore, and I love the boys. That's really all I have to say about this. I LOVE puzzles so this book was a big hit with me. Avery is a little genius and I appreciate it, and I also loved getting to see her adapt to her new life.

The Cruel Prince - Holly Black

July 9th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This read is courtesy of my bestie. She had not finished the series when she recommended it. Still hasn't. (Nani, this is a plea for you to finish it.) I don't recall much of the book, honestly, but the plot was good enough for me to rate it four and a half stars, so...?

The Wicked King - Holly Black

July 11th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

Cardan and Jude...on the couch...with- ahem. I mean what. What was this book about? Also I love the way Cardan speaks. He’s very formally-spoken and I love that for him.

The Queen of Nothing - Holly Black

July 11th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

yESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. This entire book. The ENDING??? Insane. How do I not remember any of the plot of these books besides the end of this one? We'll never know.

Skin of the Sea - Natasha Bowen

July 14th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆, DNF

This book was probably pretty great. I personally found the introduction to the plot a bit dragging and it lost my interest because of this, but it sounded like it would eventually be a good and intriguing plot. I may eventually pick this back up, but currently there are other books I am actually excited to read, so for now this will be only a DNF.

These Violent Delights - Chloe Gong

July 17th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️, DNF

Ahem...this was actually a great book, despite the DNF and star rating. I DNFed this book because it was too gorey, but I'm currently attempting to finish it. The writing is beautiful and the characters are very compelling. The tension between the main characters is lovely. I'm hoping to give this five stars when I finally finish it.

Six of Crows - Leigh Bardugo

July 18th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Delicious. A heist, six morally grey characters, lots of fighting and tension - both romantic and plot-wise. Absolutely ate up the characters' backstories. I love a good trauamtic backstory. I was reading fanfics about this book before I even finished reading it, that's how good the character building was. (Sadly I got a ton of the plot spoiled for me between this book and the next because I decided to join the online fandom before finishing the books. I will NOT make that mistake again.)

How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories - Holly Black

July 19th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

A goofy short read about Cardan. I love him. That's it.

(Zee said no reading during birthday month apparently? Was I spending too much time being lovesick over my coworker? We'll never know.)

↳ September (6)

The Forgetting - Sharon Cameron

September 1st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book surprised me. I had no idea what it was about going into it, and I was entirely surprised. Apparently it's dystopian? Sci-fi? Who knew? (not me) Anyways, I loved the two main characters, and the plot was extremely creative. This is definitely going to be a re-read next year. Sadly, the sequel was not about this pair of characters, so I didn’t end up reading it.

Fourth Wing - Rebecca Yarros

September 15th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Well, this is a funny story. I put in a request at the library for this book in July, having about zero clue what it was about beyond dragons. I was intrigued, of course, because I LOVE dragons. By the time I got my hands on the book, I'd heard many reviews about how awful the book was. I was convinced I'd hate it, but of course, I had to read it because I waited TWO MONTHS for it. It took a few pages for me to be interested, but it was a VERY good book. I love Xaden. I will kiss him on the head. This got four stars because those smut scenes GAGGED me (and not in a good way), but I have since read worse smut, so perhaps this will be a five-star someday. The smut was truly something, though. I sat on the couch and sobbed from laughter while reading them.

The Stolen Heir - Holly Black

September 16th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was...gorey, honestly. But other than that, a great read. Both main characters are very compelling, and I adore Oak. Sweetest boy. I can't wait to read the second book. It really took us a lot farther into the world of Elfhame, and I appreciated the book for that.

Lightlark - Alex Aster

September 16th, ☆, DNF

I truly wish I could just say "No." and move on with this list, but this book was probably the worst book I've ever read. I read three pages and was so extremely confused that I couldn't continue. To confuse me that awfully in the first three pages of a book is a feat, I'll give her that. I would not recommend this book to anyone, and generally I believe that everything has an audience. I'm sorry if you're a fan of this book, but I just...can't.

Fireworks - Alice Lin

September 20th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Cute book about a girl and her childhood best friend turned Kpop star when they finally reunite at age 18. Soooo much romantic tension, and I loved how the book dealt with mental health. I hope these two live happily ever after.

Reread - Fourth Wing - Rebecca Yarros

September 25th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Yes, I reread it a week after I read it. Sue me. It was a good book. I’ll be rereading it again when my holiday edition shows up.

↳ October (8)

Imogen, Obviously - Becky Albertalli

October 5th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This is going on the list of cutesy sapphic books that make me cry. Absolutely loved the way the realtionship between the two main characters developed, and I thought it did a good job about commenting on what it means to be queer. Also, arguably the best college friend group ever in this book. I'm jealous.

When You Wish Upon a Lantern - Gloria Chao

October 6th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book was ok. It was cute, but I found it slightly boring. I will say it was very good for a first-person dual POV book, which I usually hate and refuse to read.

Assistant to the Villain - Hannah Nicole Maehrer

October 14th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was a funny read, because I expected to hate read it, but it had me kicking and screaming, especially the ending. I was so insanely upset when I realized it was a trilogy (mostly because the ending was absolutely jarring and I didn’t expect it to end on a cliffhanger), but at the same time I'm glad this isn't the last we'll see of these characters. I love books where the villains are villains because they felt like that was all they could be. I love. Beyond all of this, I simply enjoyed to see all the characters interact with each other, and I felt like the author did a good job of humanizing all the characters. Not to mention Kingsley. He’s arguably my favorite character despite having no real lines in the book.

The Hawthorne Legacy - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

October 15th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Puzzles, Hawthorne boys, and...strip bowling (I forgot about this scene until a coworker told me she didn't read the book because there was stripping in it. I laughed.) Anyways I loved Jameson and Avery in this book and that's about all I have to say.

The Final Gambit - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

October 18th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ok I’m going to be completely honest this book was one huge blur and it almost felt disconnected from the rest of the series. Don’t get me wrong, it was GREAT, but it was like complete whiplash while simultaneously tying up all the loose ends we had in the last two books. Also *spoilers* but JamesonAvery endgame YAYYYYYY.

Reread - Once Upon a Broken Heart - Stephanie Garber

October 19th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I reread this in preparation for the third book and it took me a month to read. Idk man.

Reread - The Ballad of Never After - Stephanie Garber

October 23rd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Good soup. Send me to the Hollow, please.

A Curse for True Love - Stephanie Garber

October 24th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

*ahem* drum roll please… 🥁🥁🥁 …LOVELY!! Evajacks kiss. This is all I wanted. Also his dimples. And Archer. And- Ok enough about that. To actually review this book, I think it was a great wrap-up of the series. The book had an amazing vibe, and I loved how the first half of the book felt shrouded in mystery since we spent the majority of the time in Evangeline’s head. I read this entire book in one five-hour sitting, completely skipping all the homework I had to do that night just so I could read this IMMEDIATELY. It was totally worth it. I also just loved seeing Jacks as the tortured man I always knew he was. Yes bby be so tortured. Now kiss.

↳ November (8)

A Court of Mist and Fury - Sarah J. Maas

November 3rd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was...a book. It had potential to be a great book in the first 100 pages, but somewhere along the way it got kind of insane. Honestly, I feel like it should've been two books. It was over 600 pages and yet I found most of the scenes were a bit too short. Also, there were too many location changes, and this book is where the bad smut truly is. I couldn't even read the smut scenes...I can usually tolerate them. (Is it clear I don't like smut?). The first half of the book set up this lovely dynamic between Rhys and Feyre that I loved and showed me this new, fun world of the Night Court. I only wish that I’d enjoyed the second half of the book as much as I did the first. The second half didn’t get enough development and kind of just all ran together, which sucked. I would’ve given this four stars if the second half had had better pacing.

Honorable mention - The Queen of Nothing - Holly Black

November 8th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

*cough* *cough* ahem. I reread like half this book for the scenes between Cardan and Jude…especially a specific scene in chapter 21 (if you know you know) and also the ending <3 yes queen get your ma-

Iron Flame - Rebecca Yarros

November 12th , ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

(I just finished this book right before I started typing this so excuse my screaming) BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR. HANDS DOWN. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING ENDING AND I LOVE YOU REBECCA YARROS. If you like fantasy, I’d recommend this book. (Also rep for the messed up joints girlies 🙏🏼) I love Xaden and Violet sm.

These Violent Delights - Chloe Gong

November 14th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This book was very good. Great prose, amazing characters, original plot. I only didn’t give it five stars because I personally felt just a bit disconnected from the story. I didn’t really feel all that stressed by the plot, though this may have been because I only had four hours to read the book. Overall, it was a great book and I’ll be reading the sequel when I have time. (Also, coming off the Iron Flame high does make this book a bit less fascinating.)

Crooked Kingdom - Leigh Bardugo

November 15th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

After four months, I finally bring myself to finish this. A masterpiece. I didn’t want to leave this world, and yet I finally had to. The entire crew has my heart, and that ending broke me. I wanted so badly to simply not read it and make sure it didn’t happen, but here we are. Our gang all got their not-quite-happily-ever-after, and this may or may not have been the only book to make me cry ever. (That’s not true, but I can’t remember which other book I cried at. Perhaps it was my own.) Five stars. I will be returning to this duology someday to reabsorb the masterpiece that it is.

Drizzle, Dreams, and Lovestruck Things - Maya Prasad

November 22nd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This book was pretty good. The sisters had a cute relationship and the inn was fun. The book was split into four parts - one for each sister - and personally I enjoyed the first two the best. The third one was also pretty cute, but the last one…I didn’t connect with the character as well, and her plot seemed to drag. I actually stopped reading like 3 pages before the end because the plot was basically over like 20 pages before and it was just focusing on side characters. I think I’m just not a huge fan of slice of life in book form, so if you like that, then this book is for you. I have the sequel sitting on my shelf, but I might just take it back to the library at this point.

A Court of Wings and Ruin - Sarah J. Maas

November 23rd, ⭐️⭐️

This book was way too long, to put it bluntly. I considered DNFing it a number of times, and the plot just seemed to drag on. I don’t understand what Maas has against question marks, either. I can’t tell you how many times I read a question in here that ended with a period. I’m not sure whether it was supposed to emphasize tone or what she was trying to do, but it was extremely irritating and distracting. I didn’t notice this happening in the other two books, but maybe I just missed it. The only reason I finished this book was so that I could read ACOSF with full context because I do love Cassian and Nesta, but otherwise I probably would’ve DNFed about 2/3 of the way in. The fandom wasn’t kidding when they said ACOMAF was the best book in the series. I’m only glad I finished this because of the Nessian scene we got at the end 💔 my heart cried.

A Court of Silver Flames - Sarah J. Maas

November 25th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

To my surprise and delight, this book has question marks!!! Yayyy!!! To start this review off, I’ll begin by saying - Sarah finally got a decent review out of me. I really enjoyed this book except for a few small details. Now, that may just be because I love Cassian and Nesta, but I consider it a win that she wrote two characters that I LOVE.

That being said, this book made me dislike Rhysand even more than I already did. I’m not sure what it is about him, but I find him a bit intolerable. I won’t dwell on this point, but I found him especially irritating in relation to the Feyre B-plot. Oof. That in combination with the ridiculous number of smut scenes made me knock this down a star. I was fine with them at first, but then it just became too much. Google says there were only 7 smut scenes in the book, but I swear there were more. This is just a personal gripe and nothing against the book or its readers, but it certainly downgraded my enjoyment of it.

Beyond that, I really loved the tension between Cassian and Nesta, and I also enjoyed seeing the two of them work through their issues. They’re extremely sweet and I love them. One thing though - Sarah, why did you tease a mating ceremony for like three pages and then we don’t even get to see it??? Miss ma’am at the very least I wanted to see Cassian being all sweet as they consummated the mating or whatever. But instead we get another scene of someone crying over Feyre’s painting??? COME ON!!! This will probably be the only time I’ll rate an SJM book over 3 stars.

↳ December (11)

The Brothers Hawthorne - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

December 2nd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

To start this off, I was completely thrilled to read a book about the boys. Don’t get me wrong, I love Avery, but the three youngest Hawthorne brothers have always piqued my interest more. I honestly didn’t think a book in this series could be better than the others, but there was something about this book that was even more incredible than the trilogy. This book was even better than I thought it would be. I expected to enjoy Jameson’s part of the story even more than Grayson’s part, but I actually found myself enjoying getting to know Grayson quite a bit more. (Don’t get me wrong, I loved Jameson’s part of the story, but this book made me love Gray a lot more.). I’d give this book six stars if I could. Absolutely lovely and completely compelling read, and I love all the new characters we’re introduced to. I do hope that someday we get a book about Xander and Nash, but for now, this will quench my Hawthorne thirst. I definitely have a new favorite Hawthorne though (sorry Jameson). I will kiss Gray-

The Half-Life of Love - Brianna Bourne

December 9th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Uh so to put it simply. I hated this book (in the best way possible). I don’t know why I read this. I knew how it would end from the start, but it intrigued me enough that I read it anyways!!?? Haha. I sobbed at the ending. I never want to think about this book again. I loved the characters but I hated the plot. That’s it. (I will also say this book dealt HEAVILY with death and was very heavy so. Yeah. Be warned.) Update after a week of processing: I actually loved this book a lot, but it broke my heart. I loved the character development that Flint went through over the course of the book, and it absolutely broke me that that was the end. I may change my star rating for this before I officially post this, but for now it stays at 3 for hurting me.

Fireborne - Rosaria Munda

December 16th, ⭐️⭐️☆, DNF

This book was…odd, to say the least. It had potential, but something about the world building felt off to me. Perhaps it’s just not my vibe. My main gripe with it has to be the characters’ names. Some of them had very modern names, some of them had very old names, and some of them only went by extremely weird nicknames. The names alone took me out of the immersion of the world, because every time I’d finally get into it, I’d read a name and go oh, yeah, this is a book. It took me about a week to decide to DNF this, but after reading so many books I genuinely enjoyed, I just couldn’t force myself to finish it.

Greymist Fair - Francesca Zappia

December 16th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This was one of my most anticipated reads of the season. I saw the cover at the library and was like oh, yeah, that’ll be a good read. I didn’t even read the summary. Turns out, I was so right. The book kind of has similar vibes to the tales of The Brothers Grimm, but oddly I didn’t find any of this story very creepy. It was dark and a bit gory, but I thoroughly enjoyed the progression of the story. I wouldn’t say this was a five-star read, but I really enjoyed this book. It’s a collection of stories about Greymist Fair that weave together very beautifully, and I absolutely love the atmosphere this book created. Come to find out after I read it, it’s classified as a horror book? I would’ve probably said it was more paranormal fiction, but alas. This was not a horror book to me. I should know, I hate horror. Would definitely recommend this book to anyone who likes morally twisted fantasy books - especially classic fae stories. This book gave me similar vibes to those.

The Matzah Ball - Jean Meltzer

December 22nd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This book was so much fun. I think I read it in 3.5 hours. I wasn’t sure what to expect going into this, because honestly it’s one of the four Christmas (this book wasn’t technically Christmas but based on certain themes I think you could categorize it that way) books I impulsively rented from the library, but I loved it. The main girl had a chronic illness, and as someone who struggles physically myself, I really enjoyed reading about a main character going through the mental struggles of such a thing. This book gave silly Hallmark movie vibes, but it was completely enjoyable. The main guy was extremely sweet albeit a bumbling idiot, and I actually didn’t mind the major misunderstanding trope that carried this plot. I also really enjoyed reading a book that included lots of Jewish culture. It felt like home. There were a few aspects of this book I found a bit childish for a book about two people who were nearly thirty, but I guess different people enjoy different things. It was a fun, quick read if you’re looking for something with a holiday theme.

These Hollow Vows - Lexi Ryan

December 23rd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

I’m not really sure why, but I started reading this in October and couldn’t get into it. A couple pages in and I was HOOKED. I love me a book about Fae realms. (At least, the original Fae. ACOTAR was too far from the source material for me to enjoy it, sadly.) This book has all the mystery and wonder of the Fae lands while being extremely simple to read and understand. I LOVED the plot progression, and the plot twists were predictable in a roundabout way where you could sort of guess them, but they still surprised you. The ending made me scream in both an angry and excited way. I totally saw the ending coming, but it still pissed me off!

I can’t wait to read the next book, but sadly I must wait until I return from vacation. I would DEFINITELY recommend this if you like fae books, especially if you enjoyed The Cruel Prince. The only reason I didn’t give this book five stars is that I felt the side characters were all a bit underdeveloped. I’m not sure if this was on purpose since the book is from the main character’s point of view, but I felt like I didn’t even know the love interests well enough to actually make a good judgement of either of them. I did, according to the ending, end up pegging both of their true characters correctly, but I still felt they were underdeveloped for how much time they spent in the book.

Honorable mention - The Queen of the Tearling - Erika Johansen

December 24rd, unrated, DNF

I tried to read this book about ten different times before I had to return it to the library, but it just isn’t my cup of tea. It didn’t capture my attention in the twenty pages I read, and I don’t think I can follow the character on her journey. It’s very sad, because I truly love a learned royalty plot, but I couldn’t do it. Perhaps I will pick it up again someday, but I don’t plan on it being anytime in the near future.

Defy the Night - Brigid Kemmerer

December 25th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ok, this one surprised me. I picked this book up at the library back in the summer, but I realized it was dual POV, and at that point I just couldn’t handle reading that, so I returned the book. I picked it up again on Christmas because my grandma bought me a kindle and I really wanted to try it, but the options at my library that were immediately available were limited. I’m so glad I gave it a second chance, because I loved it. This book had everything I love in a fantasy novel. There were so many twists I didn’t see coming, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. This book made me enjoy a wholly political plot, and I love that for it. Usually, I’m not a huge fan of political plots, but I loved the way this one developed. The romance was absolutely adorable as well, and it made me so happy I decided to give this book a second chance. As it stands, I will probably be reading the sequel tomorrow, and I am very excited, although I’m a bit upset the third book isn’t out until January! I was so happy to give another book five stars this month, because with how it was going, I didn’t think I would be.

Defend the Dawn - Brigid Kemmerer

December 26th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

Hah. This book. True to my word, I finished it the day after Defy the Night. I’ll be honest, this book was slightly disappointing after how amazing the first book was, but I’ll let it slide solely because we got to know a new and amazing character. Besides that, this book did BOUNDS of character work. We got to know more and more about our main characters, and they all learned to overcome their stubbornness in this book. One thing I really loved about this book is that we got to see more about how close the brothers are. I feel like I don’t read many books where boys are very close to each other, especially not in a royalty setting, so it was refreshing to read a book where two brothers rule the throne united instead of going to war over it.

I was a bit disappointed that they spent the majority of the book on a ship, but because of the development that happened in the ship both character-wise and plot-wise, I can’t necessarily complain. For one, we got away from Allisander in this book, and I really had no character in this book more than him (yet). I’m very excited to read the last book when it comes out, though I wish I could read it right now. This series is truly worth the hype it had when I first discovered it, and I can’t wait to see where the relationships go in the next book.

The Lost Sisters - Holly Black

December 26th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Truth be told, this was a whole lot shorter than I thought it would be. It was essentially a letter from Taryn to Jude about the events of the first book. I found it to be a very interesting character study, honestly, and it showed us a bit more about Cardan too. I would recommend reading this if you’ve read The Cruel Prince series.

These Twisted Bonds - Lexi Ryan

December 29th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Oh my gosh this book did more than I could’ve ever imagined it would. This book gave me all the character development the first book was lacking, and the way the plot developed was insanely amazing. I absolutely love Finn, and the way he calls Abriella Princess just absolutely melts me. The world got extremely fleshed out in this book, and I really enjoyed seeing how this author put her own twist on the world of the Fae. I also, oddly, really liked how the spice was done in this book. It was there but it mostly lacked detail and description, which is how I like my spice. I want a vague idea and nothing more! 😆 Overall, I really enjoyed this book, and it will probably be my last book of the year. I think it was a great conclusion to this year’s reading, and I’m glad I ended the year on a high note.

If you read this far, thanks for sticking around! For 2024, I will be doing monthly wrap-ups, so don’t expect another post like this…unless I decide to do a yearly wrap-up after my monthly ones are done…

If you have any recommendations to start my year off, tell me! I currently am planning on reading the Percy Jackson series, but that’s the only thing I’m really looking forward to reading

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2dmenenthusiast · 7 months

Text

Last Night on Earth Final Part

(Ethan Winters x Gn!Reader)

yo yo yoooo I have nothing to say other than this was a painful chapter to write hahahaha :) But thank you to everyone who has liked, commented, and reblogged this fic, it means the world to me, and I can't wait to write the next installment!

ALSO the title of this fic was based on this song

Warnings/other info: none I can think of!

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9 Final

The hospital was so clean it almost made you uncomfortable. All you’ve known the past few years was the swamp and mold everywhere, so being somewhere this neat and tidy was… something you weren’t quite used to. You were used to you being this clean. When you first arrived, a couple lovely nurses took you away and scrubbed you raw, and then threw away your clothes. Not that it was much of a loss. They had been torn beyond repair, and were most likely covered in more contaminants than you could count. But, you were given a BSAA logo hoodie and some comfy sweatpants, so it was really a win in your book.

After they ran some EKG’s and a few other tests you couldn’t remember the name of, you were deemed healthy. Now, you were just waiting for the labs to come back with an explanation for your high regeneration. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t scared of what the results might be. You knew you weren’t infected anymore, but the idea of the virus still lingering inside you, it wasn’t exactly a comforting thought. Especially when you knew so little of what it actually was.

Your leg bounced impatiently on the edge of the hospital bed, fingers fidgeting and a sigh leaving you for the umpteenth time. The doctors wouldn’t let you leave your room for whatever reason, and you were getting increasingly impatient. You had received no word about Zoe or Ethan, your only knowledge being that they were stable, and that was it. A voice in your head was telling you to just say ‘fuck it’ and go looking for them, anyway. But, you felt like you were on thin enough ice as it was.

When the door opened, you shot up off the bed and held your breath, hoping to see one of the two people you desperately wanted to see. But when Chris’s large frame came through the door, you sighed and collapsed back onto the bed.

He chuckled. “What? Not happy to see me?”

You sighed, shaking your head, “It’s not that. I’ve been waiting in this room for hours and they still won't let me leave.”

“Well, when the labs come back, I’m sure they’ll let you see your sister.”

You perked up at the mention of her. “Is she alright?”

He sat in the chair next to the bed and pulled it up so he was closer to you. “Yeah. Vitals are stable, she was given the vaccine and the virus seems to have cleared out of her system.”

You sighed in relief. “Good. Hopefully we can put this all behind us soon.”

Silence blanketed the room for a moment as you tried to find the courage to bring up what you wanted to ask next, but you found yourself swallowing down the lump in your throat and just coming out with it.

“Um… How’s Ethan? And Mia?”

Chris tensed, and while it was a small gesture, you still noticed it.

“Mia’s good. Same as your sister, she’s been given the vaccine and the infection cleared out. As for Ethan, he’s… okay. He’s healthy and awake, responding correctly. But, there’s a few things the doctors and I are concerned about.”

You moved to the edge of the bed. “What is it? He’s gonna be okay, right?”

“For the most part, yes. But I can’t tell you the rest. It’s classified.”

Your eyes narrowed. “‘Classified?’ You’re fucking kidding me.”

“I’m serious. Only the doctors, Mia, and I know—”

“Oh, Mia gets to know. The woman who was working for a terrorist organization. That Mia? Yeah, makes perfect sense.”

“She’s his wife. It’s a matter of safety.”

“Safety?! So- So, what you're telling me is that you, her, and a whole bunch of other people get to know, but the man whose safety you’re concerned about doesn’t?!”

“You don’t understand. And it’s none of your concern, either.”

“Bullshit! Ethan and I fought like hell together to get out of that hellhole, I have a right to know what’s going on with him.”

“You’re lucky I even told you we had concerns in the first place! Do you know how much shit I could get for disclosing any amount of information to you?”

“Oh, right. Wouldn’t want me getting you in trouble or anything with fucking Umbrella. Christ.”

The door squeaked open, and a blonde nurse popped her head in.

“I don’t mean to interrupt, but if the noise continues, I’m going to have to ask you to step out, sir. You’re causing stress for the patient.”

You waved her off just as Chris went to speak.

“It’s okay. It won’t happen again, sorry.”

She gave you a tight-lipped smile and closed the door, and you sighed once she left, body deflating.

“Look, I don’t wanna fight with you. All I’ve done is fight for the past however fucking long and I’m tired of fighting.”

Chris almost looked guilty, not quite hanging his head, but he wouldn’t meet your eyes for a moment.

“I know. I’m sorry it has to be this way.”

“S’not your fault. Fuckin’ red tape bullshit.”

He hummed in agreement, and the silence that followed made your mind spin in circles. What could possibly be wrong with Ethan? You knew it had something to do with the virus, but what exactly? Was it incurable? Was he too far along that any dose of the vaccine would kill him? You could feel your chest tighten with each anxiety ridden thought, and you were grateful when Chris suddenly cleared his throat to get your attention.

“I um, I have something for you.” He reached behind his back and pulled out a photo frame, the back of it facing you.

When you took it from him and flipped it over, your breath stuttered in your chest and your heart stirred. It was an older photo, your parents sitting on the couch while you and Lucas sat in between them and Zoe rested on your father’s lap. This was only a few months after they adopted you. Your mother insisted on getting an updated photo of the family, considering its newest addition. You had never experienced more love and compassion in your life than when you grew up with them, and the memory made your chest warm.

You finally realized you were crying when a tear hit the glass, and you quickly sniffled and wiped at your eyes. “Shit. I’m sorry. I…” Looking up at Chris, you smiled. “Thank you for this.”

"It's the least I could do."

He stood from his seat, making for his departure from your room, when you stood up as well and grabbed his arm.

"Hey." He turned towards you. "Thank you for what you did for me, letting me go after Lucas. I won't forget it."

Chris scoffed, the sound bordering on a chuckle. "Not like you gave me much of a choice."

You huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, I guess I didn't."

Before he could leave, one of the Doctors stepped into the room, adjusting the glasses atop his bumped nose.

"Up on your feet, I see. You feeling better?"

You fought the urge to roll your eyes. "I've been up on my feet and ready to get out of this place hours ago. You guys sure took your time."

"Lots of tests to run. I'm sure you can understand."

With a shrug of your shoulders, you sat down on the bed again. "So? What's the diagnosis?"

"Well," he cleared his throat, flipping through your chart. "Your vitals are functioning normally, but we did find something interesting, of course."

"Regarding my, like, ridiculously fast healing?"

“Yes. Let's put it this way." He set the chart on the bed. “Your infection was more advanced than we originally thought. When you died, it sent the virus into overdrive and started your heart back up, as well as healed any previous injuries you had. You were about to reach the final stages of infection when you got the vaccine, which is why it didn’t kill you, but it didn’t get rid of all of the mold infected cells in your body. “

“So… I’m not gonna end up like my parents, right?”

“No. The vaccine and the antibodies are preventing that. And while you still have residual traces of the E-Series inside of you, you won’t have to worry about being controlled like your family either.”

You slowly let the information sink in, and you found that even with a medical explanation for all this nonsense, it still didn’t make sense.

“What about Zoe? She was as exposed to the mold as I was.”

“It’s completely out of her system. We believe that your death caused an excess of mold infected cells to form to revive you. You were lucky to get the vaccine when you did, or else you would’ve been completely infected.”

You forgot Chris was in the room until he suddenly spoke up.

“So they’re okay? No risk of suddenly growing an extra limb or something, right?”

The doctor chuckled and shook his head. “Not likely, no. Just make sure to get your annual vaccination and you should be fine. But, please remember that you’re not invincible. A shot to the head will still kill you, super soldier.”

You gave a mock salute with your two fingers. “You got it, Doc.”

He was halfway out the door when he turned his head back towards you. “Oh, and you’re free to visit your sister and friend if you would like.”

Your eyes lit up, practically jumping off the bed. When you looked back at Chris to make sure it was okay, he just gave you a nod with a small smile. With a wide grin, you practically burst out of the room and almost knocked down a nurse or two whilst you were rushing to your sister’s room. It took less than a minute to find her room, and while you had been waiting hours to see her, you couldn’t help but stand there, clenching your fists anxiously as you swayed back and forth on your feet. But it only lasted for a moment, and soon you were opening the door and locking eyes with Zoe.

“Holy shit,” she breathed.

You smiled. “Nice to see you, too.”

She laughed and stood from the bed, and you met her open arms with a tight hug. Your eyes squeezed shut, holding her like you haven’t seen her in years. It certainly felt that way. Just hours ago, you thought she was going to die from Evie’s weird, mind power bullshit, and now she was here, standing and talking and smiling. She was okay.

When your eyes started to sting, you pulled away before you could start crying like a baby in front of your little sister. When you got a good look at her, your eyes widened.

“Oh wow, your hair!”

She looked away with a shy grin.

“Yeah, a little parting gift from Evie,” she said, running her hand through her short, white hair.

You stepped back and crossed your arms over your chest, lips pursing as you examined her.

“I don’t know. I think it suits you.”

She scoffed. “Oh. shut up.”

“I’m serious!”

Your laughter bounced off of each other’s, and fuck, it felt so good to feel this again. To just be vulnerable and laugh and not have to worry about how you’re going to survive the next day. If only your parents were there to experience this with you.

You gestured to the bed, and you both sat down.

“So,” you began,“where do we go after this?”

She sighed, as if the weight of the question physically affected her. “I don’t even know how to begin to think about that. Been so focussed on survivin’ all this shit, I…” She grabbed your hand and squeezed it. “As long as we stick together, I don’t care where we go. Hell, we can move to fuckin’ California if you wanted to.”

You grimaced. “Eugh. I’ll pass, thanks.”

She pinched your arm and you punched her leg, falling into a fit of giggles when the door opened. You groaned, irritated that your time with your sister was being interrupted, and turned to whatever sorry soul that walked in.

“Can’t you hear we’re busy—”

The words died in your throat when your eyes locked on a pair of brown ones staring right back at you, and the air in your lungs vanished with a shuddered breath.

“Ethan.”

He let out a heavy breath, shifting on his feet as he took you in.

“Hey.”

Standing from the bed, you approached Ethan with slow, calm steps, despite everything in your body screaming at you to barrel into his arms and cling to him like he was a buoy in a vast ocean. You barely recognized him without the dirt and grime on his face. He looked good, slight stubble on his face and a scar on his nose.

You always dug guys with scars.

Raising your fist, you connected it with Ethan’s shoulder.

“‘Hey?’ I’ve been worried sick about you and all you have to say to me is ‘Hey’?”

Ethan chuckled and rubbed his shoulder. “You want me to ask you how your day’s going?”

You muttered for him to shut up before grabbing his arm and pulling him towards you, wrapping him in a tight hug that he immediately reciprocated. He squeezed you against his front, hand coming up to cradle the back of your head, and you closed your eyes as the warmth of his embrace enveloped you. As far as you were concerned, you never wanted to forget what this felt like. How his arms perfectly fit around you, how his front felt pressed up against yours.

Too bad it couldn’t last longer.

Zoe cleared her throat behind you. “I hope I’m not interrupting your quality time in my room.”

You chuckled and pulled away from him, but the warm hand Ethan kept on your back sent tingles shooting down your spine.

“Zoe. You’re looking well,” he said.

Your sister shrugged. “All thanks to you both.”

“Don’t act like you didn’t do anything. You had to endure our brother’s annoying ramblings when he kidnapped you and Mia.”

She let out a dry laugh, idly playing with a frayed corner of the blanket and suddenly avoiding your gaze.

“Lucas… is he…?”

“Dead. For good this time. I’ll save you all the gory details.”

You could almost feel the relief coming off of Ethan when you confirmed your brother’s death, his lungs releasing a deep sigh. Zoe almost looked disappointed, and if you were honest, you empathize with her. Lucas was barely pleasant even before Eveline came alone, but he was still your brother. Still your family. Even if he was a fucking psychopath.

Ethan cleared his throat, catching yours and Zoe’s attention.

“Uh, do you mind if I steal you for a second?”

You looked to Zoe, and she nodded, giving you the okay. When you relayed the same gesture to Ethan, he gave your sister a quick smile and led you out of her room, softly closing the door behind him. The quiet of the hallway suddenly felt overwhelming, because now you were left with every little thought and feeling you had about Ethan and his stupid, handsome face and every damn emotion felt like it was ready to come spilling out of you at any second.

Ethan Winters, you bastard.

You leaned against the wall opposite your sister’s room, sunlight spilling in through the window behind you. As soon as you looked at the man in front of you, your heart jumped into your throat and it was suddenly hard to breathe.

Fuck this. You hate this.

“So—”

You held up your hand. “Don’t—! I… Just give me a second because if you start talking, everything you say is gonna go through one ear and right out the other because the only thing on my mind right now is certainly not appropriate for our current setting.”

His eyes widened, surprised by your boldness, but then the asshole smirked and you immediately wanted to slap it off of his face.

“Uh-huh… Interesting.”

“Oh, fuck you.”

He barked out a laugh, the sound echoing off the white walls of the facility, and you hated how much you liked it.

“Ethan, I swear to christ—”

You watched as he closed the distance in just a few strides, fingers tracing over your jaw before cupping your face and fitting his lips against yours. You sighed through your nose and brought your hands to his chest, sliding them up until they rested at the base of his neck. It wasn’t a deep or intense kiss, but it was more than enough to have you weak in the knees and craving something more.

He pulled away much too soon for your liking and placed his hand on top of one of your own, giving it a squeeze. His gentle smile sent your heart aflutter, and you almost felt embarrassed of how smitten you probably looked. Like some dumb, lovesick teenager.

“You scared the hell out of me, you know. Going after your brother like that. I knew you would be okay, because somehow you always are, but…”

You gently pushed against his chest to create some distance between you and gestured to yourself. “Hey, look at me. I’m right as rain.”

If the rain had some weird mutation.

Ethan’s lips formed a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and you could still see some leftover doubt in his expression.

“Hey.” You took his hand again. “You just snogged me in the hallway of a hospital. I��m more okay than I’ve ever been.”

He laughed and pulled you forward, kissing your forehead.

“I’ll make sure to kiss you in hospitals more often if that’s what you’re into.”

Eyes widening, you quickly pulled away and searched his face. You knew it was just a silly joke, but the way he said it made it sound like there was a future between you two. Like he would be around to kiss you and hold you whenever you wanted. But you knew that couldn’t happen. Because you barely had the rest of your life figured out and he had a fucking wife. A wife he went through absolute hell to find, and one you garnered zero sympathy for. Would he really waste all that effort he went through to be with you?

No. That’s next level delusional, and you were nothing if not a realist.

“What’s wrong?”

You blinked, realizing you hadn’t spoken for a moment, and cleared your throat as you shook your head. “Nothing. Um… how’s Mia?” Her name tasted bitter on your tongue, but you swallowed down your disdain and tried not to show it on your face.

“Oh, uh, she’s good. Doctors checked her out and she’s ready to go home.”

The smile on your face was forced, and it made your cheeks hurt. “That’s good! I’m glad she’s okay.”

Nothing was said between you for a moment, and you crossed your arms uncomfortably over your chest, suddenly felt dirty thinking about the kiss you shared with Ethan only moments ago. No, you didn’t like Mia. But even still, a part of you felt awful for even thinking about him like that, let alone acting on those feelings.

No shit. It’s her husband, for fuck’s sake.

You sighed. “Ethan, I—”

“Well I’ll be damned.”

Your head turned in the direction of the voice, smiling when you saw your Uncle Joe coming down the hallway towards you. All stressful thoughts were momentarily abandoned as you met him in the middle and leaned into his open arms, his tight hug practically crushing your ribs whilst he lifted you onto your tippy toes.

“Jesus, kid, how long’s it been?”

It gradually became harder to breathe in his embrace, and you took in a deep breath when he finally let you go. Joe’s always been tough, but somewhere in the years you haven’t seen him, you must’ve forgotten just how tough.

“Too long. I’m really glad you’re here.” Turning black to Ethan, you grabbed his hand and brought him forward to stand next to you. “This is Ethan. He helped us.”

He held out his hand, and Joe clapped his own palm against his before giving it a firm shake. You watched Ethan’s face as he winced, and couldn’t help but suppress a chuckle.

“Thank you, son. I really appreciate what you did for my family.”

Ethan gestured his head towards you. “If anything, they helped me. I would’ve been screwed if I hadn’t run into them.”

“Yeah. Tough sonuvabitch, ain’t they?” Joe chuckled.

You rolled your eyes, but chose to accept the compliment anyway. After everything, you deserved a little praise. But then your mind returned to the previous conversation you were having with Ethan, and your lips turned downwards.

“Hey, Unc, um… Could you give Ethan and I just a minute?”

Joe looked between you for a moment, lips disappearing under his beard as he gave you a small grin.

“Sure thing, kid. I’ll go visit with your sister.”

You said your thanks as he walked away and then sighed. Ethan’s expression was one of concern when he turned back to you, and you wished he wouldn’t look at you like that. You didn’t want to have this conversation, but this might be the last time you see him. The thought made your heart crumble.

But, the truth was… well, it was certainly a bitter pill to swallow. Something between you two couldn’t happen. As much as you wanted it to. He had obligations, a wife, a life far away from you that never had you in it to begin with. It was by dumb, stupid fucking chance that Ethan ended up in your life at all, and maybe under different circumstances, things could’ve worked out. But not now. Not like this.

“Everything okay?”

Ethan’s voice brought you back to earth, and you gave him a tight lipped smile.

“As okay as I can be.”

He didn’t seem satisfied with the answer, and when he took a step towards you, you took one back.

Fuck, this hurts.

“Hey—”

“Ethan, I—” you sighed, dragging a hand down your face. “I’ve never met anyone in my life like you, you know. I probably never will. So… When you go back to whatever life you had before you were roped into this fucked up mess, I want you to remember me. ‘Cus I will certainly remember you.”

His brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… fuck.”

When he moved towards you again, you didn’t try to escape him, keeping your arms tightly wrapped around yourself. He muttered your name, and the sound of it softly tumbling from his lips was almost your breaking point. You swallow thickly, struggling to meet his eyes.

“I have lost so many people that I cared about. And I’ve learned to deal with it and move on because that’s what I have to do. But then… then you just fucking crash into my life and make me care about you. And I have to go through the same shit all over again.”

It hurt, pouring yourself out at his feet like this. But you had to get it out, because if you didn’t, it was just going to build and build and build until you couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe. But, you wondered if suppressing it would’ve hurt less than just spewing out all your feelings.

He shook his head. “What? You’re not losing me.”

“What do you think this is, Ethan? That you’re gonna leave your wife, never go back to California, and run away with me while I try to figure my life out? That you’re gonna be patient with me through the nightmares and the pain?”

“We haven’t even talked about this! You’re acting like everything is gonna go a certain way when you don’t know that.”

“It can’t be any other way!”

Your voice echoed down the hallway, and you cleared your throat to try and regain some sense of control over your emotions.

“You have obligations, and I’m not gonna be the one holding you back from them.”

Turning to walk away felt more painful than when your brother smashed your head open, and you clenched your jaw tightly as you willed yourself not to cry. But, the telltale burning of your eyes proved you to be unsuccessful.

“What if it was my choice?”

You stopped in your tracks, turning your head.

“What?”

He started walking. “What if it’s my choice? To leave. To be with you. What if that’s what I want?”

Every word that came out of his mouth was like shrapnel to your heart. You wanted that life. You wanted it so fucking bad it hurt.

So why couldn’t you have it?

Because this was reality. A fucked up, shitty reality. And you couldn’t have everything you wanted.

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am.” He gripped your arm, turning you to face him. “I’m serious. I’m serious about you, about how I feel. I know you feel the same.”

God you did. More than he knew. You think you liked him too much if you were being honest. Which is why it hurt all the more when you swallowed down every confession you wanted to throw at him, and said something completely different instead.

“Go to Mia. She needs you.”

“Do you still love your wife?”

That seemed to stop him in his tracks, because he was suddenly speechless as he opened his mouth and tried to search for the right words. Ones that wouldn’t hurt you. His silence did enough of a job of it, though.

You placed your hand on his chest, feeling his racing heart beneath it.

The words were painful to say, and you wished you could take them back. Because god, the look on Ethan’s face when you said them might’ve been one of the most painful things you’ve ever seen.

When you went to pull your hand away, Ethan captured it faster than you could blink and yanked you into his chest, crashing his mouth down onto yours. You inhaled sharply, his hands cradling your face with a gentleness that contrasted with the roughness of his lips. His thumbs on your cheeks caught your rogue tears. It felt like he was breathing you in, committing you to memory with each bruising kiss that sent your brain spiraling and your heart into overdrive.

You clutched his shirt tightly in your hands, and when he finally pulled away with a gasp, you didn’t want to let go. Because this was it. This was probably going to be the last time you’d ever see him again, and the fact was absolutely crushing. Like your heart had been ripped out of your chest and smashed on the ground.

“Hey.” You gazed up at him, watching as he searched his pockets before grabbing a pen that he probably nabbed from a doctor.

“Turning to a life of crime already?” you joked.

He smiled, and damn if it didn’t make your heart stutter. His fingers wrapped around your wrist, clicking the pen before dragging the ball point across the back of your hand. His number.

“Ethan—”

“You said to remember you. I don’t want my only memories of you to be of us fighting for our lives. We’ll keep in touch, I promise.”

With a sad smile, you nodded, despite the doubt you felt in the pit of your stomach. It was better than nothing, and it was all you could ask for. With one last hug, you willed your feet to begin moving in the opposite direction, and it took everything in you not to turn around and give him one last glance. Because if you did, you’d run right back into his arms again, and you couldn’t do that to him. Couldn’t do that to you.

Shit. You didn’t think it would hurt this much. Thank god you were turned away from him, because you couldn’t stop the tears from rushing down your face. Your footsteps sped up into a light jog until you made it back to your room, shutting the door behind you as calmly as you could before the facade broke. Your back pressed against the door, and you choked on a sob whilst you slid down to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest.

For the longest time, you thought growing close to anyone would be impossible. After the constant abuse you suffered in foster homes, and the loss of your friends in the field, you closed yourself off, only letting your family see a little behind the stone walls you took so long to build. And you were comfortable that way. Despite it being a lonely life, you never gave anyone the opportunity to hurt you ever again.

And then Ethan Winters came and smashed your walls down with a fucking wrecking ball.

You couldn’t describe it, but there was something about him that was just so inviting. Captivating. Maybe it was his kind eyes, or the way he spoke to you with assuredness and respect. Maybe it was something entirely different.

You wouldn’t call it love. You’ve known him for all of two days. But… it was certainly longing. A deep ache to fill the lonely void you’ve lived with for so long. Maybe it wasn’t even real. Maybe you’re just so desperate for companionship that you latched onto Ethan like a last resort.

But if that was the case, then why did it hurt so fucking much?

You gasped when there was suddenly a knock on the door, scrambling to your feet and furiously wiping at your eyes. It didn’t matter, the red rings around your eyes were a dead giveaway.

“Just a second.”

You cursed yourself in your head for how your voice trembled, clenching your fists so hard you formed small crescent shapes in your palms.

“Everything okay?”

Chris. It was just Chris.

Breathing a sigh of relief, you hesitantly put your hand on the doorknob and slowly opened the door. He smiled when he saw you, but it immediately dropped when he got a good look at your face.

Like you said, a dead giveaway.

“What’s wrong? Something happen with your sister?”

You shook your head, opening the door wider so he could enter the room. “No, nothing like that. Just some other stuff. I… don’t really wanna talk about it.”

Chris nodded, respecting your boundaries, which you were more than grateful for.

“Alright. I wanted to discuss some things with you, if that’s okay.” He gestured to the bed, and you sat down, him taking his place next to you. “I finished up my report on the mission and the BSAA just got back to me. They were impressed with your performance.”

You smiled, trying to mask the aching of your heart as you pointed both thumbs towards yourself.

“Super soldier, remember?”

He chuckled, and the sound comforted you in a small way.

“What would you think about joining up?”

Your brows shot up. “I’m sorry, you wanna recruit me?”

“You’re good on the field, can handle yourself in a fight. You’re a decent sniper too, right? You were a bit reckless on the mission, but your fast healing made up for it. If you were to join, though, you’d have to make sure not to pull stunts like that again.”

“You say that like I’m considering it.”

“Are you?”

You paused, looking down at your feet that dangled a few inches from the floor. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t think about joining the fight again. It was all you knew, and you were damn good at it. You just didn’t think it would be so soon.

Of course, what other options were there? Live a boring, normal life, working a nine to five? It sounded like hell. But, you had to think about Zoe first. Because wherever she went, you went, too. Ultimately, you were leaving the decision up to her.

“Let me talk to Zoe first?”

“You should do it.”

You practically jumped off the bed at the sound of her voice, snapping your head in her direction to see her leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over her chest.

“When the hell did you get here?”

She shrugged. “Few minutes ago. I heard enough of your conversation, though.”

She came forward, sitting on the other side of you and effectively sandwiching you between her and Chris.

“You should join. I know it’s what you want. And I can take care of myself while you’re off killin’ god knows what.”

You faced your body towards her. “You’re not worried?”

She scoffed. “Please. You took shrapnel to your leg, fought like hell the past three years to get us out, and you’re still here. Alive. If anything, I’m worried about the sorry bastards that are unlucky enough to come toe to toe with you.”

You smiled at your sister’s praise, glad she believed in you more than you believe in yourself.

“It won’t just be people I’ll be fightin’, Zo. The BSAA deals with bioweapons. As in the shit we were facing those said three years.”

She shrugged. “So? Means you got experience, then. Like I said, unlucky, sorry bastards.”

Shaking your head, you wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into your side. “Alright, shithead.” You pinched her arm, and she pulled away to smack your leg.

With a chuckle, you turned back to Chris, and noticed him watching you with expecting eyes. You sighed, and like that, your decision was made.

“Where do I sign?”

The pack on your shoulder weighed heavy, causing you to slump on one side as you lightly kicked the suitcase at your feet. You had woken up at the ass crack of dawn to get to the airport on time, and after a warm shower and the excessively long cab drive, you were still an hour early.

3 weeks later

Where the fuck is he?

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, and you quickly fished it out to see a text from your sister.

You quickly typed up a response, fingers flying over the keyboard.

-6:15 Zoe:

Get there safe?

You smiled at that, glad she was feeling at home. You both had bought a small, two bedroom apartment somewhere just outside of New Orleans, and it was nice enough. Of course, when you brought up the idea of leaving Louisiana, Zoe shut that idea down with a firm “Hell no,” which was exactly what you were expecting. After all that’s happened, this place was still home to you, and you weren’t planning on leaving.

-6:15 You:

Yeah. Way too early for this shit.

-6:16 Zoe:

You’ll live. Apartment is looking nice.

After the shitshow ended, the BSAA and other government officials grilled you and your sister for information, and you told them everything you could remember. No, you weren’t happy with so many persons of authority sticking their noses up your ass, but you didn’t have any other choice. Afterwards, they made you sign some documents swearing on your life and liberty that you wouldn’t reveal any information about Eveline or anything else that happened to you, and you did so with mild irritation.

-6:17 You:

I expect it to be fully furnished and painted when I get back.

-6:18 Zoe:

You gonna send me the money?

-6:18 You:

Government pays well for you to keep your mouth shut.

At least you were safe. That’s all that mattered now.

Your phone buzzed again, this time with a text from Chris.

You rolled your eyes.

-6:20 Sir Punch-a-lot:

ETA 5 minutes.

With a laugh, you pocketed your phone and idly rocked on your heels as you waited for Chris to shop up. Seconds had barely passed before you grew fidgety and pulled out your phone again, mindlessly scrolling through apps. It had been years since you had a phone, and you barely knew how to function. You found yourself using it a lot these days. It was a good distraction from all the racing thoughts in your head.

-6:20 You:

You’re texting me, not the president. Stop being so formal.

-6:21 Sir Punch-a-lot:

It’s convenient. Less words to type.

-6:21 You:

Maybe you should try using a gif next time. Even faster.

-6:21 Sir Punch-a-lot:

Gif?

-6:22 You:

Oh dear god.

You didn’t know why, but your thumb mindlessly pressed on the contacts icon, and you read the three names you had in there.

Zoe

Chris

…

Ethan.

Nibbling on your bottom lip, you pressed on his name and the options to call or text came up. It had been weeks since you last saw him, and despite him saying that you’d keep in touch, you haven't tried to call him once since then. There’d been many times when you considered it, holding your phone close to your face late at night, the UV light burning your eyes as you read his name and number over and over again. But, you always talked yourself out of it.

What if he moved on? What if he didn’t really want to hear from you, and he said all those things just to be nice? What if… What if Mia was making him happier than you could’ve ever hoped to make him?

You breathed out a sigh, clutching your phone tightly in your hand. You were about to travel to the headquarters of the American branch of the BSAA so you could be briefed, and you had no idea when you’d have another free moment to call him. Now was a better time than ever.

Anxiety crawled down your throat as you pressed the call button next to Ethan’s number, and with a shaky hand, you held the phone to your ear.

Ring…

Ring—

"We're sorry The number you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Goodbye.”

#Ethan winters #Ethan winters x reader #ethan winters imagine #resident evil #resident evil 7 #re7 #resident evil biohazard

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