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imperfectskeleton · 1 year

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I don’t dislike being touched - I do dislike being touched. But it is in part about what is stands for.

It’s about me at the age of five saying “no, I’m not ticklish,” and standing, stone faced when someone tickled me anyway. I knew I would be touched whatever the answer and I knew that making no response would stop it happening in future.

It’s about the ex boyfriends who let their hands wander because we were DATING and obviously that meant they could do whatever they wanted, right?

It’s about the strangers who would tap my shoulder and my having to school myself to not look disgusted or flinch.

And when I make an effort to reciprocate actions that aren’t natural to me, I am told I am wrong.

I shake hands for too long or with no resolution.

I miss high-fives, or stare in confusion at offered fist bumps.

I lean down to kiss someone’s cheek and get an offended noise as my nose touches their ear by mistake.

But I know as much as I don’t understand touch and avoid it so I don’t get told I am wrong, other people speak in touch. And so I lean in for hugs even though I can’t hug back.

There was a brief time when I could touch people. I could hold hands with any of my friends as a joke and as a comfort in one.

I could never initiate a kiss, when I dated. I could lean in, barely, as my own consent, but I couldn’t kiss. The motion was foreign to me, and I cannot comprehend what another person wants with touch.

I like hanging onto people for support when I am uncertain or unsteady.

It needs to be a person I can trust, and one I know I am allowed to touch, but I will cling in what I’m sure is a very annoying manner to their arm or shoulder. When I was tired in a crowd I would find my mum and hold onto her but as a teenager I stopped because she got annoyed (once).

So I can’t touch my mum anymore unless we are sitting down.

Instead I stand too close to a person I trust to look after me, not touching but just there. Personal space is strange and I know I’m ignoring it but I need other people for balance.

I don’t like being hugged because it constricts me.

But an arm around my shoulder is strength and support from the right people.

I wish I could say this out loud.

I know that if I hug someone, it is a non-verbal cue. “I like you,” it says, silently, “you can touch me if you want to. I’m touching you, so it’s ok if you want to touch me.”

Some people don’t understand that a hug only allows so much touch back.

My hugs don’t allow for me to be held in a way that isn’t protective or affectionate. And if I push you off me without words, it’s because when I am scared I can’t talk.

Because when I’m scared I say things that are stupid and dangerous, so it’s better to just act.

So I can’t hug people anymore, because the silent permission to touch me apparently cannot be overridden.

I can verbally allow hugs, and I can let myself be hugged when I know to expect it, but I can’t hug first.

But I don’t hate it anymore. I need to be touched, and I know it, because without touch I am exhausted.

But there are rules. Silent rules, that even I don’t know the extent of.

My brothers and I can sit close together, but otherwise we do not touch each other, except for the youngest who I poke and tease and lead by the hand when he needs protecting.

He doesn’t complain, because we have always touched each other, sparring or in games. He doesn’t tell me I am doing it wrong.

Some people I touch because it never occurs to them I might not want to for more than a minute at a time.

My other brother, the one who is not of blood but of a choice to be family and to love each other with my unfiltered adoration and his supportive care, I touch with a mix of unconscious and conscious thoughts.

When we chose to be family, I had learned touch can be a weapon. I had learned that boys who are bigger than you can disregard your boundaries and apparently not even notice that you are upset by it.

I couldn’t sit next to him when I decided I wanted him as a part of my life. I couldn’t even sit within arms reach.

And I chose, I CHOSE to fix that. I put effort into getting a little closer until I could sit and look over his shoulder and chatter about meaningless things.

I stood looking over his shoulder once, as he sat at the table looking at the project he was working on (a jigsaw puzzle) and he looked up at me, down there by my ribs, and he smiled, and I saw another boy, one who had said he loved me (this boy has said he loves me too, he has said it laughing and affectionate and I know he means it, such a different kind of love to that one.) and my throat clenched and my chest melted and I wanted to kiss his forehead and snap something in two. I couldn’t sit beside him that day.

I can touch this boy, and though I think I’m doing it wrong he doesn’t complain.

I can’t hug him, but he is a hugger so I try to speak his language.

I don’t dislike being touched in the same way I don’t dislike speaking French - if I knew what I was doing and the people around me knew too, it would be ok. But I am stiff and uncertain, and there is a lot to think about.

#long post #night thoughts #autism #touch aversion #I guess #I don’t know I’ve been typing for like 40 minutes #seriously it is a very long post be warned

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jensengirl83 · 4 years

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Prom Queen

Dean x plus size reader

Word count-2422

Warnings- Angst, body insecurities, unrequited feelings, fluffy ending

Summary- The reader is in love with Dean but knows he can never feel the same way about her.

Thank you to @mariekoukie6661 for showing me the song that inspired this.

“Damn, I am glad that’s over!” Dean says from the front seat of Baby. This was a rough hunt, starting out being what we thought was going to be a simple salt and burn, turning into a three-day demon hunt.

“Tell me about it! I’m ready for a shower and a drink.” Sam agreeing with Dean to hitting up the local bar, proof enough this was hunt was shit show. “What about you Y/n? You coming with us?”

“Sure Sam.” I say quietly from the backseat, not really looking forward to another bar. It always turns out the same way, Dean picking up some random girl, while Sam just looks at me with pity on his face. I have been living and hunting with the Winchesters for a couple years now. Unfortunately, in those few years, I have fallen for Dean. A very stupid mistake, considering he will never feel the same about me. See, I am not what you would call a catch, too short, too much weight on my small frame. Nothing like the women Dean leaves the bars with. Sam knows my feelings for Dean, the eldest Winchester, not so much, and I want it to stay that way.

“What’s with the sour face Y/n? You look like someone just kicked your dog.” Dean thinks he’s funny, and he is most times. This moment is not one of the times I find funny.

“I’m fine Dean, just a little tired. This hunt sucked.” Of course, I’m not telling him the truth.

“Get a shower and a few drinks in you and you’ll feel better in no time.” His eyes on me through the rear-view mirror, that smile on his face that would make any woman drop her panties, me included.

“Whatever you say Winchester.” I smile back just wanting to end this conversation. The car ride falls silent as we make our way back to the hotel where we are staying. Sam has his nose in this phone, no doubt already trying to find another hunt. Dean singing along to his cassette while drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, the usual car ride. Why can’t I just forget how I feel and be able to enjoy the trips in Baby like I used to? I miss the joy I felt riding along with the boys before I caught feelings and ruined the fun. Sam keeps telling me to tell his brother how I feel, to just be honest. That would be ok if I could handle the look of rejection and disgust that would cover Dean’s face, but there is no way I could. I would have to leave, never to see him again, and the thought of that makes my heart ache. Not only because I love Dean so much, but because Sam has become my brother too. So I just keep my mouth shut and endure the torture of watching Dean with all his conquests.

“You coming Y/n/n?” The question from Sam pulling me from my thoughts, making me realize we are back to the hotel already.

“Yep, sorry, must be a little more tired than I thought.” The look Sam gives saying he knows I’m full of shit, but he doesn’t say anything. Thank Chuck he respects my wishes of keeping this to myself. Dean has already made it in the room getting his clothes to take to the bathroom for his shower.

“Better save me some hot water this time Dean.” I say as I throw my duffle to the bed.

“We could always shower together short stuff.” He says wiggling his eyebrows. I know it’s another one of his jokes, but oh how it hurts wishing he really meant it. He has always cracked this kind of jokes, but I know he would never really want me.

“In your dreams Winchester.” I roll my eyes but turn my back to him before he can see the look of heartache in my eyes.

“Just an offer sweetheart.” He winks moving into the bathroom closing the door. I collapse on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands. I really do not know how much longer I can go on like this. I feel the bed dip beside me and a big hand on my back. I look up to see Sam looking down at me with a heartfelt look of concern.

“Just talk to him Y/n. I hate seeing you like this.” His voice is soft and sincere.

“I can’t Sam. I cannot take the rejection from him. It would destroy me.” My voice breaking with the tears I am desperately trying to hold back.

“You don’t know he would reject you unless you talk to him Y/n. I will never understand why you think so low of yourself.”

“No, you wouldn’t Sam, no offense, but have you ever had someone tell you that you would be so beautiful if you just lost some weight? That they would love to date you if only you weren’t so big? No, I didn’t think so.” My voice getting a little too loud with my frustration. I stand to move to get my clothes ready to go straight to the shower as soon as Dean is done. This conversation only going to make it even harder to face Dean.

“Y/n….”

“Don’t Sam. I don’t want your pity, alright? I just want to get tonight over with so we can go home. Where I can go to my room and not have to look at him and know I’ll never be the one he wants. So just drop it please!” I feel horrible as soon as the words leave my mouth, not meaning to be so harsh with Sam. It’s not his fault I fell in love with his brother.

“What’s the yelling about in here?” Dean asks, walking out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his hips. Fuck him for being so damn sexy!

“Ughh I’m taking a shower. You guys can go ahead with out me.” I brush past Dean, accidentally slamming my shoulder into him on my way to the bathroom, not really caring. I had to get out of that room.

“What the hell is going on with her?” I hear Dean ask Sam. I hold my breath, hoping I didn’t piss Sam off enough for him to spill the secret I am so desperate to keep.

“Not sure man. Maybe she really is just tired and ready to be back at the bunker.” Sam tells his brother. I release the breath I was holding, thank you Sam. I go through the motions, washing my hair, my body, shaving my legs, hoping they will be gone when I get out. I need a few minutes to regather myself before I go to the bar. I get out and get dressed, towel drying the dampness from my hair as I walk back into the room. They are gone, thank goodness. I sit down on the bed to gather my thoughts, but instead, I break into sobs. The emotions finally becoming too much to hold back. In the middle of my mental breakdown, I didn’t hear the hotel door open.

“Y/n sweetheart, what’s wrong?” I freeze, recognizing that voice instantly. Dean. Well fuck, this isn’t going to end well. He is at my side, his arms wrapped around me, definitely not helping the situation. “You gotta talk to me babe. Take a deep breath and let me help you.”

“You can’t help Dean, just go back to the bar.” I stand up to walk over and get a glass of whiskey, turning up the glass, chugging it all down. Hoping the burn from it will mask the other pain already in my chest.

“No, I’m not leaving until you talk to me. You have not been yourself in a long time. Don’t’ think I haven’t noticed Y/n.” Dean is now standing in front of me, arms crossed over his chest, a look of determination on that stupidly handsome face.

“Well congratulations for noticing. You want a cookie?” Sarcasm lacing my voice. I don’t’ want to be a bitch, but the reality that I am going to have to finally admit my feelings, both angers and scares me.

“Alright, that’s how you want to play this sweetheart? Fine.” Before I can even comprehend what he means, he has his arms around me, carrying me back to the bed. Placing me at the top of the bed against the headboard sitting on my legs so I cannot move. Damn him. “We are not moving from this spot until you talk Y/n.”

“I can’t tell you Dean, not this.” I lower my head, trying to hide the tears brimming back in my eyes. I hear him sigh, hoping will just give up, but I feel his finger under my chin lifting my face up to look at him.

“You can tell me anything darling. I will always be here for you.” His voice is so sincere, almost making me think he will not be absolutely disgusted if I tell him.

“Not if I tell you this Dean, it will change everything between us.” He smiles, moving his hand to cup my cheek.

“Nothing you can tell me will change how I see you sweetheart. Talk to me. Do you not trust me?” He looks so hurt that I don’t’ want to tell him. Well here it goes, sink or swim.

“Dean, I can’t keep going out with you and Sam. I hate it, watching all the women falling at your feet, the incessant flirting, watching you leave with woman after woman. I cannot do it anymore. I know I have no right telling you how to live your life, so I am just not going to do it anymore. I don’t want to be the ghost on the wall always disappearing. When we walk into the bars, the one getting noticed is not me. That is how it has always been for me. I was ok with it for a while, but I am not anymore. The jealousy that rattles my bones when I see you walk out the door with the women that I wish were me, breaks my heart Dean. I want to be the tall, beautiful, thin women that you want, but that will never be me. I will never have the long tone legs, the flat stomach, the beauty that catches your eye. I will always be the girl that will be your friend but nothing more. I love you Dean, and I know you will never feel the same. I will never be your Prom Queen.”

I am a sobbing mess, the confession I just let flow from my lips, draining me of everything I have. I can’t bring myself to look at him, the rejection I know is coming, making my stomach turn. Why did he have to come back? Everything is going to be different now. The thought kicking in my fight or flight instinct, flight definitely being the winner. Dean is still silent, his weight on my legs being the only way I know he is still here. I finally look up to see him staring, a look I can’t make out on his face. Are those tears in his eyes?

“Sweetheart…” His voice barely above a whisper.

“It’s ok Dean. You don’t have to say anything, I get it.”

“Obviously, you don’t get it Y/n. You really were oblivious, weren’t you?” Dean says with a small chuckle.

“What are you talking about Dean? Oblivious to what?” I am so confused right now.

“The way I feel about you sweetheart. I have been crazy about you for a long time. I kept throwing out the hints, but you would always blow me off. All those women were just a distraction Y/n. A horrible imitation for what I really wanted all this time, you.” I know my jaw is in my lap. All those times I thought he was just being flirty to be nice, he meant it.

“Dean..”

“No, listen to me sweetheart. All those people who made you feel anything less than the amazing, kick ass, sexy, beauty that you are, can go to hell. I love you too Y/n, and I will forever show you and tell you just how perfect I think you are if you will have me.”

I am speechless, can think of nothing to say. The way he is looking at me making me feel, for the first time in a long time, like I am good enough. That I am worthy enough to let this man love me. I finally break a smile, which must have been what he was waiting on. He cups my face in his hands, leaning in so close, our breaths mingling together.

“Can I kiss you baby?”

Baby

That word leaving those soft pouty lips, driving me wild. I don’t give him an audible answer. I reply by crashing my lips to his. His lips even softer than I had imagined, a perfect fit to mine. Our kiss is slow and sweet, no rush, just enjoying the feeling of what we have both longed for. We break apart after what seems like forever, the need for air becoming to strong to ignore. Dean leans his forehead to mine, placing soft pecks on my lips, not wanting to completely break apart from each other.

“How about we call in a night?” Dean asks running his hand over my head.

“You don’t want to go back to the bar?” I look to see him with a bright smile lighting up his face.

“Everything I want is right here in this room sweetheart.” He has his hand behind my neck pulling me in for another light kiss. I pull away to nod my head. Staying here with him is much more appealing than a bar. Dean wraps his arms around me, maneuvering us to lie down with him behind me. This is a dream come true, being here with him, his arms around me, knowing he feels the same way.

“I love you Y/n. Get some rest darling.”

“I love you too Dean. Good night.”

The exhaustion of the hunt and the breakdown I had, has me drifting off fast. I feel Dean placing kisses to my hair, his breath ghosting over my neck. I am almost asleep when I hear him speak, so low I almost missed it.

“You will always be my Prom Queen, Y/n.”

Tags: @flamencodiva @waywardbeanie @emoryhemsworth @sorenmarie87 @foxyjwls007 @voltage-my2dlove

#dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #spn fanfiction #spn family #supernatural #angst #fluff #plus sized reader

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leemaht · 4 years

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haikyuu!! headcanons

how they would react if they make their s/o cry

kuroo, tendou

*************************************************

warnings: swearing, mention of cheating

pairings: kuroo x reader, tendou x reader

*************************************************

kuroo

this boy teases you to the max and loves to pull pranks on you

he was only too happy when you reacted to most of his pranks by laughing or pouting or even instantly realizing it was a prank

so he pulled more and more

but this one, this one had gone too far

he saw this one online somewhere and decided to use this on you

he wanted to record your reaction to him telling you that he cheated on you. i seriously don’t know why he would think this would be a good idea.

he thought you would get angry at him and maybe throw a punch or something but well...

so in school he asked if it was cool if he stayed since he wanted to talk to you and you informed him it would be ok.

your parents weren’t home

you two arrived and you went upstairs to change out of your uniform

during this time kuroo set up his phone on the table so you wouldn’t see it and waited for you to come down

and then the ‘fun’ began

‘y/n, can you come here for a second? i really need to talk to you.’ he said as serious as he could. you just nodded.

‘ok, what is it?’

‘...’ he really acted the shit out of it. he looked you in the eyes, took a deep breath and

‘y/n, i cheated on you.’ you were in shock but tried to stay calm

‘i-i don’t believe you.’ who was it you thought. there was person you had a bad feeling about all along. whenever you felt insecure you told kuroo but he always told you not to worry about them.

‘i did. it just happened. there was a party last weekend and i was totally wasted and one led to the other. (rivals/name) and i...’ you heard him talking but his words just would not reach your brain anymore

so it was them, you thought. you looked down on your lap fidgeting with your fingers. you smiled a defeated smile.

kuroo was shocked when he saw your face and his conscience kicked in.

‘hey, y/n?’

‘i knew it...’ tears were flowing down your cheeks by now.

‘wait, what?’

‘i-i mean, they are better than me in any way. they are so much prettier and smarter and taller and s-skinnier and...’ you sobbed. you looked kuroo in the eyes ‘and you would look so much better with th-them than with me. i-i seriously don’t know-w how you put up with me th-this long. i am a sad excuse o-of a girlfriend, am i? i can’t even love you like you would deserve it’ kuroo was speechless. he had no idea how you could think so little of yourself, and he realized that he had just broken the last bit of confidence you had in you.

you still didn’t break eye contact with him as you continued with a sad smile on your lips

‘i-i just want you to be happy. *sob* even if i-i cannot be the one by your side.’ your voice was so weak it was barely a whisper by know as you focused back down on your hands.

‘y/n, stop. please stop.’ you looked up again.

‘huh?’

‘y/n, listen i didn’t cheat on you. it was a prank. i am so sorry.’ and he pointed at his phone on the table.

you looked at it in horror without saying a word

kuroo tried to pull you into a hug but yo slapped his hand away

you turned to face him but only managed to look at the floor he was standing on

‘h-how could you.’

you turned around and ran up the stairs into your room. all kuroo could hear was the sound of the door being closed and locked.

he had fucked up big time and this time he wasn’t sure if you would forgive him

he followed you slowly and stopped by your door. he heard you crying in your room. he hesitated but knocked

‘y/n, love please open the door.’

‘leave me alone.’

‘no, i won’t leave until i see you, babe.’

‘don’t call me babe, kuroo. just let me be, please.’

‘i will kick the door down. you know i will.’

‘no you will not. you know why? because you fucked up. i seriously don’t want to see you right now, so go to r/n or any other person who isn’t me and leave me the fuck alone!’

kuroo really messed up. he knew it.

he sat on the floor next to your door and waited. he didn’t know for what but he would. even if it took the whole day. you were worth it. after maybe 30 minutes of silence, the doorknob moved and the door was unlocked.

‘... are you still there?’ you asked before you opened

‘of course.’ he leapt from the floor in your direction and before you could fight back he had pulled you in an almighty hug

‘y/n, i am so sorry. i am such an idiot-’

‘yes, you are.’

‘... i deserved that one... and so much worse. i would understand if you never talked to me again. i knew how you felt about r/n-’

you flinched when heard this name, hoping never needing to do so again

‘-and i still did this. this is unforgivable. but i want you to know, that i would never, not in 1000000 years cheat on you. you are the prettiest, smartest and kindest person who ever existed. i love you so much and i could never be as happy with anyone but you.’ and finally kuroo felt how your arms wrapped around his waist and your face pressed against his chest.

he whispered 100 apologies in your ear as he kissed the top of your head

...

[extended ending]

‘if you ever pull shit like this again,i will stab you.’

‘did you really just ruin this moment?’

‘i can ruin as many moments as i want to, you are the one who made me cry.’

‘... and i promise this was the last time.’

tendou

ANOTHER PRANKSTER GUYS

break up prank

he saw this one online and immediately thought he had to try this one out on you

the person in this video reacted by punching their boyfriend straight in the face and tendo found it hilarious. he thought you would like scream assault at him... yeah

the next afternoon he was at your apartment and sat the phone up while you were in the kitchen preparing snacks for the two of you

when you came back you placed the snacks on the table

and tendo had the most serious look on his face you have ever seen

‘uh, satori are you alright?’

‘y/n, i think we need to talk.’ it was so had for him not to laugh in your dumbfounded face. you grew kind of worried

‘ok. you know you can tell me anything.’

‘y/n, we should break up.’ you were totally taken aback as you let those words sink in. all kinds of thoughts came running through your head. did you annoy him? was he cheating? all your little flaws came together making you feel insecure.

as he noticed that you hadn’t answered he decided to take a step further

‘yeah, i think this is for the best, y’know? i don’t think we work out. i just don’t love you anymore.’

you were in a complete loss of words. silent tears started running down your cheeks and falling into your lap.

tendo hadn’t looked at you the whole time because you were sitting next to each other so when he turned around his heart broke

you were sunken together, looked in your own lap and held your own hands as the tears rolled down you pale face and silent sobs escaped your mouth. and he knew he had gone too far.

‘y/n-’

‘i’m sorry.’ tendo was so confused. he just ‘broke up’ with you and you were the one who apologized now? but before he could think further, you continued

‘i’m sorry that i wasn’t good enough. i should have tried more to be the person you deserve.’ congratulations, you just broke a boy.

he couldn’t comprehend what you were saying? you? not good enough? if something he wasn’t the one good enough, with all his pranks, teasing and shitty behavior.

‘STOP stop stop stop.’he tried to get back to his cheery self as he told you that it was a prank and pointed at the camera.

without a word you leaped up and went to the kitchen

you didn’t want to see his face right now but he chased after you

‘y/n, wait, please!’ he grabbed your arm but you slapped his and away. he didn’t give up though, refusing to give you space he tried again and pulled you in a hug. you struggled to free yourself but your body was drained of all energy so that you just let him be.

after a while you started sobbing in his chest. ‘w-why would you do that?’

‘i’m sorry, really. i thought maybe you would punch me or something but i didn’t think you would be so sad.’ he stated.

you angry

‘how the hell am i supposed to react, satori? how would you feel when the person you love the most on this planet, the person you trust most... the love of your life would break up with you? telling you in your face that they do not love you?’

boy he started crying. he would have never dreamed about having someone to love him so wholeheartly. he was a sobbing, sniffling mess and wasn’t able to form words.

after a while you had to comfort him and you didn’t have it in you to be mad anymore

through sobs he exclaimed how sorry he was and how much he loved you and that he would never break up with you

he cried worse when you told him the same

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! headcanons #haikyuu!! fanfiction #haikyuu!! x reader #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou #tendou satori #tendou x reader

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wefoundloveunderthelight · 3 years

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Marco’s Home for Lost Boys

Read on AO3 - Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

Tagging:

@lfh1226-linda

Chapter 5: Grief

Summary:

“I’m in. Let’s go get your dad’s stuff back.”

“Em, maybe this is a bad idea.”

“Bullshit, if you can do it, I can do it. Besides, I asked to do something exciting.”

Notes:

Warning for Character Death and also violence.

6 months later

“Come on Ems, one more?”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to get me drunk,” she giggled.

“Only if it’s working” Neal slides the glass toward her.

Her laugh was sloppy and loud, a snort escaping her nose.

“One more!”

She tosses the shot glass back as the warm liquid burns down her throat.

“You are so hot.” His hands are on her hips, pulling her toward him. She drinks in his lips, tasting of whiskey and peanuts.

As if on cue, her phone begins buzzing on the table beside them.

“You probably shouldn’t answer that in your condition, Ems.”

“Hello Captain!” She giggles into the phone.

“Swan, you need to come home.”

“Well, I’m quite busy right now sir…”

“Emma...”

“And honestly I don’t feel like coming home so I don’t quite think I…”

“Emma, it’s Marco. He had a heart attack. They did everything they could, but…”

Emma feels like the whole world has started humming in her ears, her knees buckle under her, phone slipping from her hand onto the table.

She can’t comprehend what Neal is saying on the phone to Killian before he hangs up and picks her up off the floor.

“Ems, Jones is going to come pick you up. Lets just sit on the couch until he gets here. I’ll go get you some water.”

This can’t be happening. Marco can’t be dead. Not her Papa.

She’s an orphan again.

Neal opens the front door on the second knock and he immediately smells the whiskey on the boy’s breath. Killian pushes past him to find Emma sitting on the couch, staring at her feet, a glass in her hand.

He grabs the glass and sniffs it to find it is water, but she smells like she rolled in a barrel of booze.

“Underage drinking? Bad form, Cassidy.” He scowls at Neal standing in the doorway.

“Save the lecture Jones, we were just having a good time.”

He looks down at Emma, “Swan, you alright? Can you walk? We gotta go.”

She stares straight ahead, and he kneels so that his eyes meet hers. “Hey,” her eyes meet his. “let’s go home ok?”

She blinks, recognizing him for the first time since he walked into the room.

“He’s gone.” She whispers and his heart breaks for the second time that evening.

“I know, love. Can you stand?” His hands cup her elbows as he stands and pulls her with him. She wobbles on her legs and leans into his chest.

“Seems like a real good time you two were having.” He peers over at Neal. “We’ll talk about this another time.”

He ushers Emma outside and opens the door to David’s truck, helping her into the seat.

Climbing into the truck himself he sighs and looks over at her. “I’ll try and cover with your brothers as best I can, but you’re gonna need to shower when you get home to wash the smell of alcohol off.”

The hot water numbed her face, standing under the stream in the shower. Killian had moved her quickly through the house and past her brothers before they even got the chance to console her or realize that she was anything besides utterly broken with grief.

The next few days went by in a blur.

The house was buzzing with activity with Arthur and August returning from college for the funeral. Robin shut down his bar for the week to be at home and help with the arrangements.

It was weird having so many people at home. Even though she knew it was only temporary.

Soon Arthur and August would go back to Boston and Seattle, Robin would go back to working 7 days a week at the “The Sleeping Lion”, David was on his way to building a life with Mary Margaret and she was sure overheard the two of them whispering about him moving out in the near future.

Killian was hardly around anymore either. He began working as a Boat Captain on the “Jolly Roger”, a tourist attraction where you got to sail with pirates on a real pirate ship, guyliner and leather included. But even when he wasn’t working, he was always out doing “something”.

It would just be Will and her. They had just started their senior year in high school. She was a couple months to her 17th birthday. What was she going to do now as everyone was leaving her?

She did everything she could during those few days to ignore the shouting in her brain. She packed up boxes in her father’s room, cooked dinner for her brothers, cleaned up the messes they left behind while they ran here and there trying to prepare for their father’s funeral.

She did everything, except cry. No matter what she did, the tears wouldn’t come.

Even as she stood in front of her Papa’s gravestone, rain coming down and bouncing off the freshly moved ground, David’s arm wrapped tightly around her, she found no tears.

Once they returned home that evening, she was starting to feel like she was suffocating. She wanted to yell at the next person who apologized for her loss and asked her how she was doing.

I’m fine.

“Swan, you should eat something.”

“I ate.”

“Swan.” She looked up into his narrowed blue orbs. “I happen to know you have not eaten anything since breakfast, and that was a piece of toast.”

“Geez, are you keeping a tracker or something? I’m sure I ate today.” She tried to push past him, but he held firm and his hand wrapped around her arm.

“Emma, I know there is a lot going on in that pretty little head of yours, but you need food if you wish to remain on your feet.”

She reached over and grabbed a cracker and cheese off the tray in front of them and shoved it in her mouth. “Happy now?”

He rolled his eyes but allowed her to move past him toward her room, slamming the door behind her.

Run.

E. You busy? I need a drink!

She clicked her fingernails on her phone waiting for the response which came quickly.

N: Come on over.

Emma grabbed her jacket, lifted the window upward and jumped to the ground outside. She was across town in her yellow bug in no time and running up the stairs to Neal’s home.

After the second knock on the door, it opened with Neal’s father standing in the frame.

“Emma, I’m so very sorry about your father.”

Emma smiled weakly. “Um thanks, Mr. Gold.”

“Please come in, my son said you would be stopping by.”

Neal appeared behind him and Emma stepped into the house.

“Please ensure you and Ms. Swan are responsible.” He nodded at his son and pulled on his jacket. “I apologize but I have business to attend to and cannot stay to entertain.”

“Oh well, it was nice seeing you.”

When the door closed, she turned toward Neal. “Um is he cool with me being here while he’s gone?”

Neal laughed. “Yeah, he even gave me a nice bottle of whiskey for us to share.”

“Woah.”

“Yeah, he can be cool sometimes. So, what do you say we crack this thing open?”

Emma was finally feeling a bit less claustrophobic being in Neal’s house. No one to mill about or force food upon her. In fact, Neal hadn’t even asked her how she was doing.

She grabbed the glass from his hand and quickly tipped her head back, feeling the warmth hit her stomach immediately. She grabbed the glass and poured a second shot.

“Woah, not messing around.”

“I just need to drink and not have people ask me how I am.” She sighed.

“Ah feeling suffocated then?”

“How do people think I’m doing?” She rolls her eyes. “Oh, I’m just fine, I’m great, who needs a father anyhow, I’ve done it without one before.” She parroted.

“Woah, Emma.”

“Don’t, Neal. I don’t need someone to comfort me. Just someone to pour the damn drinks.”

“I can do a lot more than pour your drinks.” His hand lands on her thigh.

She stands up and starts pacing the room, grabbing the bottle of whiskey and taking a swig. “I want to do something exciting.”

“Well, I was just trying to do something exciting but you’re now over there and I’m still sitting here.”

“Not sexual. Exciting, dangerous. Something that reminds you that you are alive.”

“Ok I think you’ve had enough to drink.” He tries to take the bottle, but Emma yanks it away from him.

“I’m serious. I just want to feel like I’m still here.”

“Well, I do have to do an errand tonight that might fit in that category.”

“Errand? How does that even fit in the category of exciting.”

“Well, it’s not exactly a… shall we say legal errand.”

Emma sits down next to him wide eyed. “Neal what are you talking about?”

“Never mind, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

She takes another long drink of the whiskey. Why would Neal be doing something illegal?

“What exactly is this errand for?”

“Ems, I shouldn’t talk about it.”

“No, I want to know. Maybe I’m interested.”

“That’s the thing Em, you are not the type to be interested in this sort of thing.”

“Hey, I can be the type.”

“That’s the whiskey speaking.” He pauses. “Look, it’s not a big deal, I just have to pick something up that was taken from my dad.”

She stares at him. “Oh my God someone stole something from the pawn shop?”

He nods. “Uh yeah, something like that. And my dad asked me to get it back for him.”

“Well, if it belongs to your dad, then whoever took it should just give it back.”

“Exactly but well, they don’t actually want to give it back, so I have to kind of…” He looks at his feet, as if he doesn’t want to proceed. “I gotta go steal it, Em.”

Shit.

Her phone buzzes and she looks to see that she has missed a lot of messages.

K: Everyone is going to bed.

Will: Are you going to sleep all the bloody time now?

K: Are you alright in there?

David: I know you are taking this hard Princess but know that we are here when you want to talk.

Will: I was going to come talk to you, but Killian is being an arse and told me to leave you alone. Just checking to see how you are doing. I’ll talk to you in the morning.

K: I guess you aren’t coming out of your room anytime soon so...

K: Goodnight, Swan!

She takes another long swig. “I’m in. Let’s go get your dad’s stuff back.”

“Em, maybe this is a bad idea.”

“Bullshit, if you can do it, I can do it. Besides, I asked to do something exciting.”

“Ok but, you can’t tell anyone we did this ok?”

“Well duh.” She jumps off the couch and puts the whiskey down. “So, do we wear all black or?”

He laughs, digging into a small cabinet and putting something in his jacket pocket. “Nah what you are wearing is fine.”

She frowns. “Oh bummer.”

He grabs a black beanie from the cabinet and tosses it to her. “Fine, wear this so your hair doesn’t stand out so brightly. It can be your disguise.”

She giggles and pulls the beanie on, not sure exactly what the hell she is getting into. But she needs this. She needs to feel like this isn’t the end of her. That she is still breathing, and life goes on.

He can’t stop tossing and turning in his bed. His mind won’t turn off. It’s been a whirlwind for the last week since their father had passed. Everyone had stayed busy to ensure that all the tasks were completed.

Grief was tricky.

Everyone had a way of coping with it. Robin and Arthur had thrown themselves into work by getting all the details and chores done, August was slowly drowning himself in a bottle, David chose to drown in love by spending every moment with his girlfriend, and Will had cried until there was nothing left. He had been taking it hard after having found his father on the floor of the kitchen.

For Emma, she seemed to choose avoidance. He had barely seen the girl cry since their father’s passing.

Killian found that for him, grief was about figuring out your next move. Where it would take you from that exact moment in time.

And his next move was going to take money and a fair share of it if he was going to get his own place with Milah and ever have hopes of buying that ship.

He was already working 5 times a week at the harbor as a bloody pirate captain on the “Jolly Roger”. He got to wear some authentic leather pirate gear and he had to admit he looked dashing in the guyliner. But the job wasn’t going to get him the ship he needed to get out of here.

So, he got desperate.

He knew working as bag man on the side for Gold wasn’t exactly a hero move. Tossing his lot in with Gold was suicide to many who had done so before him. But Gold paid him double what he was making on the Jolly and offered him an extra bonus a few times to muscle some blokes who had refused to pay what they owed Gold. Gold was a private man, so his services had stayed out of the public eye which was exactly how Killian had wanted it.

Besides, as soon as he had the money he needed, he was done with Gold. He wasn’t proud of what he was doing, but it was a means to an end. And he would leave this town as soon as he had the money he needed anyway.

Everything he had planned was moving along except for one piece.

Emma.

Emma had gotten herself involved with Gold’s son, Neal.

Killian needed to make sure she got away from him before he left town. Neal was trouble. He was cocky, reckless, and selfish. Traits that were only going to get Emma hurt.

But he didn’t know how to tell Emma the truth about Neal without exposing himself to his own lies.

He looked over at the clock, 1:15am.

He groaned and pushed his covers off, sitting up on the bed and rubbing his eyes.

Maybe he could drown himself with that bottle for a little bit. Maybe it would allow him to find sleep.

Tugging on his boxers, he quietly padded through the house and opened the cupboard door, pulling the bottle of rum from the shelf.

“Can’t sleep either?”

Killian almost dropped the bottle to the ground at the sound of David’s voice.

“Geez, mate, not a good idea to sneak up on a man in the dark.” He stepped forward to see David sitting in a chair by the fireplace, a drink in his hand.

“Guess we had the same idea.” He held up his glass, the dark amber liquid swirling at the bottom.

“Aye.” Killian took the seat opposite with his own glass in hand, taking a sip of the liquid.

“Can’t believe he’s gone.” He sighed.

“What will become of this place?” David continued. “Everyone will be graduated adults next year.”

Killian’s raised his brow. “You really think Will is going to graduate?”

David laughed. “We’ll get him there.”

“Aye.” He nodded and then took another drink.

“We should probably talk about that though. You know, Will and Emma. They are both almost 17. Old enough that they will let them still live here, but I guess one of us will need to be their guardian until they graduate.”

“Hadn’t thought of that, but I haven’t the means to move out yet anyway.”

“Yeah, I was actually going to talk to everyone about this before Marco passed but,” He paused. “I had planned to move out in a month. I’m going to start working at the station for Sheriff Graham and they offered me a place close by in town.”

“Oh, wow that’s great news, Dave.”

“It was. But now.”

“No, you should still stay on your plan. Besides, I know you and Mary Margaret would love some privacy now and then.”

“Well, there is that.” He smirked.

“I’m happy for you, mate. You deserve happiness.”

“So, do you brother.”

He swirled his glass before taking another sip. “I’m a pirate captain five days a week, what more could I ask for?”

David stood to refill his glass. “You make a good point there…” he paused at the window. “Did Emma go out?”

“No, she’s where I left her hours ago, brooding in her room.”

“No, she’s not.” He turned, gesturing to the window. “Bug’s gone.”

This was the dumbest idea she had ever had.

Emma’s hands were numb from standing in the cold. Neal was hunched over the door, with small tools sticking into the lock as he jiggled them, but nothing was opening the door.

“Do you even know what you are doing?”

“Of course, I do, but I can’t do it with you yammering in my ear.”

“It’s just that you’ve been at this for a while and the door is still closed. I thought the point of this mission was for us to get inside.”

“Ok smart ass, you think you can better?”

She laughed. “Um no. I mean. I’ve never broken into anything in my life.” She stared at the tools sticking out of the lock.

Live a little Emma.

“Ok fine, move over.” She shoved his hands away from the tools. “So, what am I supposed to do?”

“I was joking.”

“Just tell me what to do.”

“Ok that wrench there, you push that in. Then take the pick, you need to move the pins around until they click into place and you can open the door.”

Emma pushed with her hands and could feel the pins moving around like a puzzle in her head. She closed her eyes and concentrated. She felt lost in her thoughts when she felt the door push.

“Ems, you did it, you’re a natural.” He beamed.

“Great, I have a future in criminal behavior.”

He pulled her up to him and kissed her before tugging her into the dark of the building.

“Just stay here ok. I’ll be right back.”

“Wait Neal, you aren’t just going to leave me here are you?”

“I’ll be right back.” He disappeared into the black and Emma stood silently in the corner of the shop they were in.

Suddenly she heard voices coming from the direction Neal went.

“Neal?” she whispered.

She stepped forward into the dark. “Neal?”

Suddenly she heard his voice and saw him running toward her, “Run Emma, Run.”

Emma turned to leave but felt something grab her from behind. She kicked backward, making contact with whatever had grabbed her, knocking them backwards, the shimmer of something long and silver in the man’s hands.

Neal ran past her, grabbing the door and yanking it open. “Emma let’s go.”

She tripped as she tried to run to the door, falling into something that caused her to land on her knees. She knew she would have bruises tomorrow. Dragging herself up, she stumbled forward in the dark before hands grabbed her ankles and she fell forward again. “Neal! Help!”

“You can’t steal from me.” She heard a gruff voice coming from the man holding her ankle and she kicked at his hand with her free foot. It was enough to free herself and she clamored to her knees and onto her feet to grab the door handle, yanking it open.

Just as she stepped into the alley, she felt a pain in her side, a burning sting that made her scream out in pain. She shoved as hard as she could with her hands at the man standing behind her, a long silver knife falling to the ground as his back hit the concrete wall behind him.

Run Emma, Run!

She didn’t look back; she didn’t stop running until she got to the road. She looked around and realized she was completely alone. No man trying to grab her. And definitely no sign of Neal.

She knew she needed hide. To get out of the open. She looked around until she got her bearings and headed toward where she had parked her car on the back street.

She expected to find Neal at the car, but he was gone.

He left me.

She pulled the door open and locked the door behind her, looking around to make sure no one had followed her.

She breathed heavily, her hand clutching her side which was still burning. When she pulled back her hand, all she saw was blood.

And then everything went black.

#my fic #stacy's fics #Marco's home for lost boys #killian jones #emma swan #captain swan #captain swan au #captain swan fics

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frooopsen · 4 years

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kyalin - part 2

Post-TLOK / book 4

Notes: I have no idea where this is going...guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Patience

The morning sun settled in the room. Maybe it would be a warmer day, though the cold breeze coming through the window suggested otherwise. They lay in bed facing each other when Lins hand slipped unterneath Kyas shirt to rest on her chest, where the knife had been just a few nights ago. Right between her breasts. Not really, but it had felt more real than the soft skin underneath her fingertips now. „Anything you’re looking for in particular?“, Kya smiled. A scar, Lin thought to herself. Or rather she wanted to reassure herself that there wasn’t one and it had really only been a dream. „Maybe you’ll find what you’re searching, a little bit lower.“

Lost in thought Lin didn’t answer her, but withdrew her hand, placing it on Kyas cheek and looking at her, eyes filled with admiration. „I’m so glad to have you.“, she said when turning on her back. She didn’t want to see the concern that most certainly took over Kyas expression. „Don’t look at me like that, I’m fine.“ When she still felt the pearcing eyes resting on her face as Kya perked herself up on her ellbow she added, „I tell you that all the time.“

„Yeah, but not like…this.“ She guestured across their bodies. Tension seemed to find its way back to Lin‘s body as she felt where this was headed. Kya would want to talk about it and she didn’t, as per usual. Kyas rambling didn’t annoy her, nor did most other things Kya did, that would send Lin raging if anyone else did them, but talking about her own thoughts and feelings was still a strange thing to do – even with that gorgeous woman, she felt so connected to. Why did people feel the need to always talk about things? She was fine. „It was just a stupid dream. Nothing more.“

„See, you say things like that“, Kya began, using her fingers to guide Lins face to meet her gaze, „and I do want to believe you, but then I wake up because someone’s clenching my hand to a point where my blood has trouble passing through.“ Lin blushed as she remembered. „Again, sorry about that.“ She pulled Kya closer for a deep kiss until she broke it again.

A smug grin tugged on the corners of her mouth, „While I could spend all of my time doing this and much more– “ She didn’t get to finish her sentence as Lin climed on top of her, quickly joining their lips back together. A frustrated groan escaped Kya when she held her eager lover back. It felt like her mind was standing in her body’s way. „I cannot believe I’m saying this, but we need to take a minute.“ Lin looked down at her and sighed, falling back to her side again. „I was afraid you might say that. Want some tea?“, she asked, getting up.

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The steaming cup stood on the table when Kya joined her in the kitchen. Lins movements seemed to lack fluency, even for an earthbender. It was like a mantle had wrapped around her, inducing and amplifying imbalance. She wasn’t going to tell her about the change in her aura since the reaction would most likely be a mocking grunt. She tried a more lighthearted approach, as to not be met with silence. „Unless you want to keep our bodily contact to a few exciting kisses, we’re going to have to talk about it, you know.“ Lin turned around leaning back against the countertop. „We did. Like I said, just a nightmare, nothing more. Haven’t you ever had one?“, she asked and continued sarcastically, „It’s like a dream, but a bad one. Sometimes there are monsters. And when you wake up you’re glad that it’s over.“ Kya smiled, „Right, and if it was in fact ‚just a nightmare‘ you wouldn’t be trying to distract me with your very tempting body.“ Her eyes followed Lin striding towards her with a knowing look on her face. „And here I was, thinking you liked that kind of distraction.“, she grinned.

„I do“, Kya said, meeting her lips, „And if this were a one-night-stand I would not be bothered at all, but – quoting you here – we’re ‚trying that relationship-thing‘. Thus my passion – if you want to call it that – has become slightly attached to your well-being.“ Lin hated it, when her own words were used against her.

She hated it even more, when Kya was right about these things. She definitely was, but that didn’t make talking about it easier. She just didn’t want the dream to have a deeper meaning. What was wrong with her, that she dreamed about Kya not only dying, but killing herself? She wouldn’t ever do that, would she? Would this strong woman ever come to a point in her life where maybe Lin’s work and the dangers that came with it were too much? How often did she tell her to be more careful? How often had Kya healed her wounds after fights gone wrong? She always reassured her, that she was ok with her being chief…it didn’t always feel like it was the truth. Understandably so. Lin knew how bad the wounds looked sometimes and if Kya felt even half of the love Lin felt for the waterbender, she probably hurt as well, when taking care of the cuts and bruises. The least she could do, was give a little honesty in return. Kya deserved honesty and everything else Lin was afraid to give.

„Those weeks where you spent most of your time at the station.“, Kya started tentatively when the silence grew to be heavy, „Did anything happen to you, that you didn’t tell me about?“ Lins eyebrows furrowed in confusion. „No, it’s nothing like that. Though it might be the reason, that I’m back to my even-less-feely self.“, she admitted, her face growing soft as she stroked along Kyas arms, „I know you’re right, but it‘s just. I can’t tap into that part of myself as easily as you can.“

Kya nodded with her caring eyes resting on Lins face. She understood. The weeks after Kuviras attack had been hard on everyone. As criminals took advantage of the situation or far too often of the people who had already lost so much, Lin had spent more time at the station than at home. She knew she had to be patient if she didn’t want the earthbender to shut herself off even further. „Was it the only nightmare?“

With a hint of embarrassment she shook her head from left to right. „Most of them were at the station. Made it real easy to hide it from you.“ Kya smiled at Lins sly remark, her patience paying off. She eyed her for a few moments. „How about this.“, she suggested, „You drink your tea while I get our coats and we go for a stroll.“ Lin picked up her cup in agreement and spilled the rest of Kyas tea down the sink. „Don’t you want to be my shrink anymore?“

„Oh, we’re definitely doing that, I just thought it would be easier for you this way. Now drink up and get your boots.“

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As it turned out, Kya had been right again. The walk helped Lin clear her mind and sort the thoughts rushing around in her head. With the monotonous movement and Kya’s gaze occupied with the trees and people passing by, she didn’t feel the pressure to fill silence with words. Kya knew her well, to a point where Lin had to remind herself, that the woman didn’t have the ability to read her mind – though in some moments she was convinced that she did. Their difference in nature complemented their relationship in a way that neither of them fully comprehended – nor did most people who knew about them. „Did you notice how they keep staring?“, Lin asked while making her way to the nearest bench, „They’re probably jealous of me. I did in fact land a great catch, don’t you think?“

Kya rolled her eyes, but planted a quick kiss on her cheek before sitting down close to her. „We do look good together, don’t we?“ They diverted their gaze to the small pond infront of them. They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity, watching the turtle-ducks until almost everyone in the parc had left.

Lin wondered how talking about the dream would help her. It wasn’t real anyways and Kya would probably be disturbed by the pictures her mind would be filled with. Would she want to analyze it and end up asking about her childhood again? Last time it had hurt. Why should she revisit that kind of weird pain. Or worse, what if it lead to arguing about her work? Had she spent too much time at her desk? Would Kya blame her work for the nightmares and lack of sleep? The longer she thought about it, the less she liked the scenarios she came up with. She decided to find a way to summarize the dream in a harmless way, as to not scare Kya when they did talk about it.

Kya let her mind wander but found herself coming back to Lins nightmare everytime she started a new train of thought. She badly wanted to know about the dream and had to restrain herself from asking about it, yet again. Why didn’t she just tell her? How scary could the dream have been? Lin had seen so much violence and pain. She was hardly startled by anything, let alone frightened. The fear she had seen a few nights ago had made her blood freeze and still sent shivers down her spine everytime the image of Lins tensed face and body flashed before her inner eye. Maybe she had in fact dreamt about Ammon taking away her bending again. It would make sense. After all, they didn’t really talk a lot about the event when it had occurred, and most trauma tended to resurface. Especially if you kept repressing it, like Lin.

„Do you want to go back?“, she suggested as it got darker and even colder, „You have to get up early tomorrow for work and while I hope to hear about your dream soon, I don’t think it’s a good idea to talk about it right before going to bed. I’d rather not be clenched awake again anytime soon.“

„You are a special kind of perfect.“, Lin answered and leaned in for a kiss. Any public display of affection other than sitting next to each other, or letting Kya wrap her arm around hers, was something she avoided but there weren’t any people around and she just couldn’t resist the urge. „Thank you.“, she muttered. „Anytime, if this is your reaction.“ Apparently Kya couldn’t resist her urge to tease, but that was just…Kya. Though they had barely talked at all, Lin felt closer to her than in the morning when they’d woken up right next to each other.

#kyalin #lin beifong #legend of korra #avatar: tlok #tlok #kya ii #part 2 #fic #wlw

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juju-on-that-yeet · 4 years

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Invisible Things

@lamiasluck @m4delin here’s the yearning Eric fic I told you both about XD Thanks again Lamia (is that ok to call you? tell me if you have a preferred name asajafhjdsfs) for inspiring me to write it <3

Summary: There's only one person other than Bim who can tell the Jim Twins apart, and that person is Eric. Everyone wonders how he does it, but Eric would rather not admit the reason he's so good at finding the quiet differences between the Jims. Warnings: None. Characters: Eric, Reporter Jim, Cameraman Jim

Read on AO3

Enjoy!

There are only two people in Ego Inc. who can, with complete accuracy, tell the difference between the Jim Twins.

Granted, it’s not that hard to do when the twins are in action. It’s easy to tell them apart when one is holding a microphone and the other a camera, or when one opens his mouth to speak and the other raises his hands. But the pair have made a game of sitting or standing together, still and silent, and seeing who can tell them apart. Bim used to be the only one who can confidently pinpoint which twin is which. Even the Googles are sometimes fooled, and even Dark, who knows the building and the egos like the back of his hand, cannot win when he deigns to play. There’s only two Jims, so the egos can guess correctly through dumb luck, but it��s always just that. Only Bim is certain.

And Eric.

Eric can’t say when he first started being able to tell the Jims apart. When he was new he was just as bad at it as everyone else. But as time went on, he began to see the differences without realizing. He started to look at the Jims as individuals, as Reporter Jim and Cameraman Jim, rather than a collective. And now, he can spot some minor, miniscule differences between them.

Hair.

CJ’s hair is a little fluffier than RJ’s, and RJ’s bangs sit just the slightest bit farther down his face than CJ’s. Neither twin ever does more with his hair than a quick brushing each morning, but CJ sometimes likes to mess with Bim’s hair gel just for fun. If he’s done it recently, the slight crunchy sheen of it is easy to spot.

Eyes.

Most of the egos’ eyes are some variant of brown, and the Jims’ eyes have some gold there that brightens both their gazes. CJ’s eyes have a little more gold in them than RJ’s, and RJ’s eyes are just a shade darker. Eric doesn’t use this metric often, though, because looking in their eyes too long makes his cheeks go pink.

Expressions.

Even their neutral resting faces have a spark of excitement and joy in them, but the underlying state of mind is different. They have the same amount of smile lines, but for different kinds of smiles. RJ holds back laughter, stifles snorts, resists the urge for big toothy grins. CJ hides soft smiles, tamps down giggles, tries not to duck his head and shield his happy face. RJ’s face is loud, is crackle-pop fireworks, and CJ’s is quiet, is puffy gray dandelions. Eric knows their faces when he tags along on their adventures, he knows the way their faces brighten, the way they laugh and encourage and talk him along. They wear their feelings on their sleeves, neither can hide a grin for very long. Eric always has to smile back, unable to help mirroring the twins’ infectious joy. Even when they struggle not to smile while Eric is trying to tell them apart, Eric can’t shut down his own grin. When he guesses right and they exclaim in surprise, when they finally let themselves laugh, Eric feels their warmth and basks.

Posture.

When the twins stand, RJ is a hair taller, standing more confidently than CJ. When they sit, CJ sits up straighter, and becomes the one who’s a tiny bit taller. They’re still a couple inches shorter than Eric, but they don’t look it. Eric often stands between them, bending shyly like a sunflower hidden in clouds, becoming just about their height. And things are nicer at their eye level, where Eric can sneak glances at the flecks of gold in their eyes, where he can retire behind them if things get too crazy or make him too anxious. Eric feels that a lot. The Jims have even dubbed him “Anxious Jim,” or AJ sometimes to be affectionate, and oh, that nickname always makes Eric turn pink. But the Jims are so full of confidence, and even if CJ doesn’t stand as ramrod straight as RJ, he has his own quiet self-assurance that he tries to give to Eric, and RJ does the same with his own boisterous devil-may-care attitude. Eric couldn’t match their enthusiasm if he tried, but he does try, and he can let himself explore alongside the Jims if he can stay sandwiched between them as they travel. And at some point in the outing, he’ll stand at his own full height, his eyes at the level of each Jim’s hair, and get to see breezes ruffle the dark strands around and through each other. CJ’s hair may look the slightest bit fluffier than RJ’s, but Eric doesn’t know if it feels that way, or how RJ’s hair feels to compare. He can imagine it, though, and let that be enough as he follows the Jims in their adventures.

Arms.

Their arms are skinny, almost no muscle at all. But not none, because they often lug around heavy filming equipment. Neither twin has more muscular arms than the other, or skinnier arms, or even longer arms. One might assume that their arms are the same, but they’re not, and Eric can see it clear as day. RJ’s arms are always more tense, spring-loaded, ready for action. CJ’s are just as ready to rise to carry things or begin to sign, but the energy is more simmering, less tight. RJ struggles not to shrug his shoulders and squirm when he’s made to sit still, and CJ sits calmly but ever-ready to jump up and go on an adventure. It’s the difference between a dog at the end of its leash, desperate to break loose and cause havoc, and a tiger sitting in the underbrush, waiting patiently for the right moment to strike. But those comparisons feel too harsh, too mean. The Jims aren’t fighting dogs or hungry tigers. Eric can feel the heat of kinetic energy, though, that excitement and drive to plunge ahead, when RJ flings an arm around his shoulders in camaraderie or when CJ gives him an arm to hold onto as they traverse rough terrain.

Sometimes they even hug Eric, one at a time or both at once, and Eric can’t think of anything he loves more. Their arms around him make his cheeks turn bright red, send him a-flutter with nervous giggles, but he always hugs back, always puts his own skinny, scrawny arms around them in turn. The fabric of their shirts, their heads on Eric’s shoulders, their laughter in his ears, their warmth against his chest. It’s the stuff of dreams, and Eric could spend forever savoring those moments, spend forever and day thinking about them when they’re over. Do the Jims know how much Eric loves their hugs? How perfectly warm, how tight without being crushing, how lovely it is to feel their friendship? Eric hopes they do, at least a little, at least enough to keep hugging him and not be deterred by Eric’s blush. But if they knew just how much Eric loves them, how much Eric longs for them when he compares their arms as they sit, how much he wants the Jims’ arms around him and squeezing, their fluffy hair tickling his cheeks, their rapid laughing breaths on his neck…Eric doubts they’d want to hug him at all.

Hands.

The first time RJ grabbed Eric’s arm to tug him along on an adventure, Eric had flinched and jumped back, and Eric knew that RJ could feel him start to tremble in the moment before he let go. Eric had been (still is) too used to the harshness of that gesture, to roughness, to being dragged after an angry Derek whose grip could be tight enough to bruise. And maybe RJ knew that, maybe that’s why he let go so fast and apologized so much. Maybe that’s why he never did it again, even though Eric never asked that of him. Eric remembers how RJ’s hands would hover, wanting to invite Eric along, wanting to touch, but not wanting to hurt. His hovering hands would usually land in Eric’s, long thin fingers and a warm palm around Eric’s own hand. The first time RJ did that, he was the one who jumped, complaining of how cold Eric’s hands are. Eric supposes that everyone’s hands are cold to the Jims, but especially his own, which always run cold like blocks of ice. No wonder his hands melt in RJ’s, no wonder his cheeks flush with heat. RJ is not so cautious anymore, he’ll grab Eric’s hand with fervor to pull him into an adventure. But Eric doesn’t mind it, he’ll gladly be tugged around by RJ’s warmth.

CJ doesn’t often grab or pull or tug. His cameras usually need two hands, and even if they didn’t, he needs two hands to sign. Eric could get lost in watching CJ’s delicate hands move around themselves in speech, and sometimes he has to ask CJ to repeat himself so he can actually take in CJ’s words. CJ will oblige with a cheeky smile, probably thinking that Eric simply didn’t pay attention the first time, or wasn’t able to comprehend the signs CJ used. But Eric is quite good at sign now, and the mistakes in understanding are because CJ’s hands are just too captivating. Even when CJ isn’t signing, when he’s adjusting a camera lens or wiping dirt off RJ’s cheek or pointing out an animal in the woods he’s about to film, his hands move gracefully and are as silent as the rest of him. Eric is in awe of that grace, in awe of those hands that can speak so loud without making a sound at all.

Eric learned ASL not long after he first showed up at Ego Inc. He was told it was required in order to understand CJ, who Eric learned rarely ever speaks with his voice. Both RJ and CJ taught Eric some rudimentary sign, and the three would sit in the Jims’ room and repeat the same words and the same sentences until Eric understood them every time. For most egos, the education ends there. Most can understand CJ when he signs but cannot sign back. But when Eric returned to the Jims later, asked to learn more and find out how to make his own fingers speak, the joy on both their faces was enough to power the sun, and Eric had gone pink to see such unabashed happiness. It was a time when such happiness was foreign to him still, when Derek still stomped through the halls of the building and only reluctantly let Eric free from his side to sign with the Jims in their room. Eric was never mute, but his words did sometimes fail him, and perhaps a part of him felt safer to know that his hands would be able to speak even if his mouth could not.

RJ signs quickly, his words run together without pause, much like the way he speaks. CJ is slower but still quick, his hands are still decisive, movements still sharp. Eric is slower than either of them, even now, but he did his best to mimic each word he was shown, each phrase that was demonstrated.

“Yes,” said RJ, turning his fist as though knocking on a door.

“No,” said CJ, pinching two fingers and a thumb together as though miming a closed mouth.

“Please,” said RJ, hand moving over his chest.

“More,” said CJ, fingers on each hand pinched and coming together.

“Stop,” said RJ, the edge of one hand coming against the other like a knife slicing vegetables.

“Maybe,” said CJ, palms flat and hands moving up and down in a familiar, wishy-washy kind of gesture.

“Be careful” is two closed fists with peace-sign fingers gently knocked together. “Excuse me” is the fingers of one hand curled and run across the other palm. “Help me” is a thumbs-up sitting atop a flat hand and brought towards the chest. “Thank you” is fingertips touching the chin and coming away forward - and starting no lower, as Eric found out when the act of starting the sign under his chin instead of on it sent the Jims into a laughing fit. Eric had been embarrassed, of course, but even then he loved the Jims’ laughter, and he hadn’t let it stop him from continuing to learn the ins and outs and careful turns of ASL. RJ and CJ were both encouraging, patient teachers, eager to find an ego who was interested in learning beyond the bare minimum.

One day, Derek was in a rage over a reason Eric can no longer remember, and at a loss, he’d fled to the Jims. Too terrified to speak, his shaky “help me” had sent CJ whisking him into the Jims’ bedroom closet to hide and RJ outside the door to tell Derek that no, he hadn’t seen Anxious Jim, why do you ask? Stuck together in the closet, CJ and Eric had spoken as quietly as they could, hands slow in the dark.

“Mean Jim,” CJ said sourly, tracing a “J” in the air with his pinkie and tapping the fingertip against his other palm once, then again at a new, tilted angle.

“Scared,” Eric said back, trembling hands spread open and moved in over his chest.

“You’re alright,” CJ said, pointing to Eric and knocking the edge of one hand against the flat palm of the other, flicking up twice. His expression was soft in the face of Eric’s fear. “Safe,” he added, making two fists and crossing them over each other at the wrist before pulling apart.

They’d stopped talking after that, because they’d heard Derek stomping into the room, either because he was too angry or RJ hadn’t been convincing enough. Eric had shivered against CJ’s chest, and CJ had used his hands to soothe instead of speak, rubbing Eric’s back to keep him calm and quiet. Just like RJ, CJ’s hands were warm like a hearth fire, but unlike RJ’s, were slow and calm when they went to take Eric’s hands, squeezing comfortingly and filling Eric’s palms with heat. Derek didn’t find them, and though the danger had passed, Eric hadn’t wanted to leave that quiet dark, hadn’t wanted to let go. The twins mistook it for residual fear and continued to soothe him, to coax him out of the closet with gentle touches.

RJ’s hands are gentle by choice, CJ’s hands are gentle by nature. That is the first hidden difference Eric ever noticed, and that was the moment Eric knew.

He learned how to sign “I love you” on his own, and he’s practiced it alone in his room countless times. Hands crossed over his chest before he points straight ahead, or one hand with pinkie, pointer, and thumb held up and shaking gently. He’s too afraid to use either one, and he doesn’t know when he won’t be.

“How on earth can you tell them apart??” asks an ego, incredulous, “They look exactly the same!”

The twins lean forward, just as shocked, but excited for an answer, similar-but-not-the-same smiles decorating their faces.

Eric can only shrug and try not to blush.

#eric derekson #jim twins #eric/jim twins #markiplier #markiplier fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #kristin says stuff #invisible things #i👏love👏these👏boys👏#will def be writing more of them eventually ;3

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98prilla · 4 years

Text

Abductions, Past and Present

AO3

...

Remus’s breath catches and he’s backing up, backed into a wall, backed into a corner. He can feel his breath getting caught in his throat, his heart hammering against his ribs, and it’s dark, too dark, and suddenly he’s back, back in the cell, back in the black, except it’s smaller, it’s so much smaller, iron bands wrapped around his arms and legs, climbing up him until he can’t even wiggle his fingers, until they cover his mouth, then his nose, and he can’t breathe, he’s suffocating, they’re suffocating him, and he wants to scream, but he can’t, he can’t, and he can hear Him, whispering, taunting, just like he always does, it echoes in his ears along with his silent scream until they’re ringing and there’s still no air-

Contact. He flinches, lets out a garbled shout that comes out as more of a strained whimper. The touch quickly moves to withdraw, but instinctively his hand shoots out, latching onto the contact like it’s the only thing left in reality, and he’s drowning, drowning in his own mind, his own thoughts, his own memories

“remus.” His name finally makes it through the ringing in his ears and his head shoots up, wild eyes locking onto whoever’s face, Logan’s face, and he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, because it’s not Him, it’s not Him, it’s not Him! “can you nod, if you can hear me?” Logan’s voice is soft, softer than he’s heard it before, and there’s emotion in it too, instead of the clinical cold tone that sets his teeth grating. Slowly, with effort, he manages a nod. “that’s good. You need to breathe, ok? Can you breathe in, 1,2,3,4” Logan counts, and he screws up on that, the very first part, and his heart rate rockets up a notch, because now comes the punishment, now comes the pain, now comes the hurt, as a result of his failure, of his stupidity, he can’t do this, he can’t do anything-

“it’s ok, Remus. It is perfectly fine. Let’s try again, ok? Just do whatever you can. No one is going to hurt you. You’re doing fine.” Logan, again, soft and… and worried? He doesn’t know, but he doesn’t sound angry, as he starts counting again, and Remus tries, in fits and starts and gasps, he tries, until finally, he can breathe again, and he collapses into a ball on the floor, gasping sobs flooding out of him in bitter waves as his head clears from the thoughts, from the memories, from the fears, from the pure intensity of his emotion, one that doesn’t even have a name, just a mix of sorrow and loss and fear and deep, keening pain.

He realizes Logan is still there, has dropped to the floor with him, and he feels guilty at pulling him down too, realizing he’s still gripping his arm, probably hard enough it hurts, and between breaths he gasps out an apology.

“It’s perfectly fine, Remus. You can hold on as long and as tight as you need. Do you want me to get someone else? I… know you are not fond of me.” He shakes his head, because he can’t, he can’t be left alone like this, he can’t force himself to let go, or he’ll drown again, and he’s afraid if he plummets again he will hit the ground and smash into a million pieces.

“okay. Did you have a nightmare?” Logan asks softly, and he laughs, because the last decade has been a waking nightmare, half of Roman’s entire life has been a waking nightmare, and he apparently cannot function unless he’s being tortured, because he’s fallen apart more since he’s been rescued than the entire time he was held captive!

“that’s only natural, Remus. While under such extreme duress you didn’t have time to question or think, every moment was spent on survival. Your mind is trying to process ten years of trauma all at once. It’s not easy, it’s not something your brain is made to do, it shouldn’t be something you have to experience in the first place. It is only natural that now that your body has realized it doesn’t need to expend all it’s energy on fighting, that it’s trying to understand and comprehend everything you’ve been through.” He uncurls slightly, looking up at Logan, face so different from the impassive mask he is used to, softened around the eyes and mouth, a slight frown on his lips, sympathy and worry and pain in his clouded silver eyes.

“it just got so loud. I’ve… I’ve always been shit, at dealing with it, I always get nightmares, I always… I hate sleeping, I can’t…” He’s on the edge of losing it again, and he forces himself to breathe, forces himself to take deep breaths, but he’s lost what he’s saying. He feels Logan gently squeeze his arm back, and knows he understands what he’s trying to say, at least.

“it’s ok to be angry. It’s okay to be furious. It’s ok to want to hurt the people who did this to you, it’s ok to want to destroy them, it’s ok to want your life back, it’s ok to scream and shout and punch things because it isn’t fair. Because it isn’t. It’s ok to grieve, Remus. However that looks for you, it’s ok.” Logan near whispers, and he’s silenced for a moment at the ferocity in his voice, at the venom when he spoke of the captors, and then he breaks again, surprising Logan as he falls against him, his tears reduced to sniffles now.

“I want them back. I want my parents back, I want them to know we’re safe, I want them to know what happened, I want them to have closure, they probably think we got dragged off by cougar or something, they probably think we’re dead. I want Roman to have gone to middle school, to have gotten to high school, to have tried out for every school play, because he’s such a fucking good singer and actor, I want to have helped him run lines and gone to every performance and I would have beat up anyone who made fun of him for being into theater. I want him to have gone to college or gotten an audition and ended up on broadway, and I would have been in the front row screaming, cheering him on, and so would our parents. I want to have gone to high school, have gone to college, have become an artist, an animator, done something with my life other than be a fucking lab rat, and I know it’s not fair, and I know I can’t have any of that, but I’m so damn angry because the two of us can’t stop blaming ourselves for shit that they did to us!” He yells, shaking with exhaustion, spent and empty yet again, angry tears dripping down his face. “and I hate them. Because I want to hurt them, I want to tear them apart, I want to watch them scream and writhe and beg for mercy before I kill them with my bare hands. I’m just… I’m just like them. They made me their monster and I hate myself for it.”

“No. You’re not a monster for wanting that, Remus. You aren't Them, for wanting that. You have a reason to hurt them, a damn good one, too. It’s not wrong to want revenge, though taken too far it can be damaging. They are the monsters. They had no reason to hurt you, yet they did, for their own selfish gain. That’s what makes them monsters.” Logan answers, voice shaking, but surprisingly fierce, and Remus feels him hugging him, firm and protective. “it took me a long time to learn, I still am learning, that it is ok to feel negative emotions, necessary, or you will never be able to let go of it all and move forwards. It hurts and it’s terrifying, but it gets better.”

“does it?” he asks softly, he’s so tired and broken and so far beyond caring.

“Yes. There's not a single one of us on this ship that hasn’t gone through some kind of trauma, and I swear it gets better. Not fast. Not easily. But it does.”

“What? You… but you’re so…” Remus gestured to all of Logan as he pulls back, eyes wide, and Logan lets out a humorless laugh.

“Yes, well, appearances aren’t always what they seem, are they? We each have a reason we got into the rescue and rehabilitation business. We've all lost something to the trade.” He sits silent for a moment, considering Logan, head tilted as he tries to make sense of him.

“while… while we are speaking, I would like your input on something.” Logan pauses, and Remus nods for him to continue, a bit wary. “I know you dislike me, for obvious reasons, but I do not wish you to be afraid of me. I… is there anything I can do differently, anything I can do to make you more comfortable in my presence, I… anything you need, just ask it.”

“oh.” He hadn’t been expecting that. He doesn’t know how to answer. He feels more at ease with Logan now, after he had talked him down from his panic, had helped so much, but he’s afraid that in the light of day, he won’t be able to help himself, help the fear, help the instinctual panic at the way he speaks, moves, acts. “it’s… it’s not you. You’re… fine.” He mumbles, fiddling with his sleeve. “you… I mean, I get it. You were protecting him, and I get that. I… wasn’t at my most lucid. I don’t mean what I said, anymore. I know you weren’t… weren’t trying to hurt me. Even if I can’t quite forgive you for it yet, I’m not… mad… about it anymore.”

“then what is it, Remus? You don’t have to tell me, you don’t need to, I just… I want to be able to help.” Logan asks, reaching out, and he doesn’t pull away, as Logan slowly rests a hand atop his.

“it’s not even to do with you, really. It’s… Him. The Scientist.” He says, nearly whispers, irrationally afraid that saying the name will summon him. “he… he moved, like you do. Had the same, I don’t know, the same sound to him that you usually do. But you don’t sound like that now. You don’t… you don’t make me think of Him now.” He replies, staring at the ground, aware of Logan’s gentle exhale, close to a sigh.

“He was probably the same race as me. Straevion. We are… curious, intellectual. We learn things very fast and very thoroughly. Most of us become scientists or engineers or mathematicians. We love exploring, discovering, studying. And many of us are ethical, interacting and learning from different species we encounter, respecting and studying the cultures, the language, the worlds. We thrive on learning, really. But there are many who see themselves as above, as better than, because we are more technologically advanced than many worlds, therefore those worlds are lesser, those peoples lesser. They see other races as not really other peoples at all, just animals. It’s wrong, and horrendous, and despicable, and I hate that the Council that rules our world does nothing to stop it. That’s why I do this, Remus. Because somebody has to stop it. I know that it’s a reflex. That it is ingrained that my general appearance equals pain, but I will never knowingly hurt you. And if I accidentally hurt you, tell me immediately so I can rectify the situation and avoid causing harm in the future. I swear it.” Logan’s voice is serious and heated, and passionate, and a smile pulls at the corners of Remus’s lips, because Logan is so much different than Him. He just has to try and remember that, try and push past his first instinct to run.

“ok.” He whispers, meeting Logan’s eyes for a moment, before looking away, though it was long enough to see the slight smile on his own face, enough to see Logan once again understood without him having to say all the words what he meant. “I, um. I came out here for some water, before I, y’know, broke down. I’m… sorry. For unloading all that. On you.” He mumbles, face going a bit red.

“Oh, of course. You’re perfectly fine, Remus, I am happy to listen and help talk you through your thoughts, if that is something that helps.” Logan replies, getting to his feet, reaching out a hand to help him up. Remus hesitates for a moment before taking it, a bit wobbly on his feet, as he settles on one of the stools at the kitchen island, realizing the light has gotten brighter. It must be early morning. No wonder he was so tired, he hadn’t slept at all, and he’d had an emotional breakdown. He runs a hand through his already ruffled hair, letting out a soft groan.

Logan sets a glass of water on the counter before him, and he slowly sips at it, despite his desire to chug it. Still, he empties it quickly, and Logan quietly refills it for him. He rests his head on his arms atop the counter, letting out another long sigh, tiredness filling every inch of his bones, but his mind is still whirring a thousand miles a minute, the reason he couldn’t sleep in the first place, he was never able to silence his mind.

“You have insomnia.” Logan says, though it has the hint of a question. He nods, enjoying the feel of the cool counter against his forehead. The luxury of having space is incredible.

“where are we going?” he asks, suddenly, curious, his mind wandering and trying to focus on anything other than the thoughts in the dark spaces.

“Pardon?”

“I mean, we’re on a spaceship, yeah? You can’t just be drifting pointlessly.” He gasps, shooting upwards. “Is there a window? Like, can you see out, into the stars and stuff? Galaxies and planets and stars, oh my!” he giggles slightly to himself, realizing he’s losing it a little, loopyness setting in a bit. Logan just chuckles, raising an eyebrow.

“There is. We have a star map, where we chart our courses. The room also doubles somewhat as an observatory, with rounded, slightly tinted windows, so the light of passing suns and stars don’t damage anyone’s eyes. Virgil still can’t tolerate the brightness, his kind is especially sensitive to light. As for a course, we are currently heading towards a small, mostly plains biome planet known as Drakkia. We intend to stock up on supplies, as well as gather resources and information. Also some new clothes for the two of you, as well as things to decorate your rooms, if you like. If… you intend on staying, anyways.” His eyes are wide as he stares through Logan, imagination running wild, because the thought of stepping off a ship, feeling actual, solid land beneath his feet, feeling a sun on his skin, even though it’s not his sun, still… still.

“Remus?” He realizes he’s crying again, and he shakes his head, snapping back to reality, smile bittersweet.

“it’s been ten years since I stepped foot on a planet. Our whole world was the cell, the lab, and the testing rooms.” He says softly, just barely catching the stricken look on Logan’s face, the flash of anger that vanishes quickly as he takes a deep breath.

“well. You are no longer confined anymore. We will arrive in approximately two days. That being said, I can show you the observatory later. I am the chief navigator, if you are interested in how the ship itself flies and works.” He perks up again at that, excited.

“I loved building things. I even made a few robots, before. Always got in trouble for taking things apart to figure out how they worked. Wouldn’t’ve been a problem, cept I could never put it back together right. Started a loooot of fires.” Logan chuckles again, shaking his head.

“Do your best not to light anything on fire while onboard, please.” Remus snorts, head thumping back down against the counter, giving a thumbs up.

“Lo, did you start the coffee already? Oh. Hi.” Virgil, sounding a bit tired himself, and he gave a small wave without removing his head from the counter.

“I did not.” Wait.

“Coffee?! You have coffee!? I was gonna fall asleep on the stool, and there’s caffeine here!?” He shrieks, glancing between the two slightly taken aback aliens with wide, excited eyes.

“Um. Yup. No one else aboard can really handle it, it’s a little like poison to them, but I’m less physical, of a being so it doesn’t do much. I take it you want some?” Virgil asks, clearly holding back a snicker.

“I was hoping you would get some actual sleep instead of choosing to stay awake via drugs that would literally make my heart explode.” Logan replies, looking sternly at them both. Earlier, that look would have set his heart racing, his pulse panicking, but now, that fear is easy to push through with a scoff.

“What kind of a heathen are you? Coffee is the drink of the gods. It’s barely a drug, have you ever had Meth? Now that is a drug that will get you buzzed. Heroin isn’t so bad, though, it mostly just makes you feel good and sleepy. Must be why they didn’t use it as often. Acid though,” he shivers at the thought, “that just is wild. I always had a bad time with that one.” He looks up, and realizes Logan’s face has darkened again, and Virgil is looking at him with mild concern and something soft, before he turns away, and pulls out the cups without commenting.

“Remus… “ Logan starts, but sighs, trailing off and shaking his head. He’s about to say something else, when he hears a scream from down the hall and his head whips around.

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calypsoff · 4 years

Text

Three

Looking up at Mel, she just stared at me “just tell me the news please” I am sick of waiting “bitch nothing has come up, calm down. Just waiting on it to come up but what is the plan if you are? Like on a real, what is the choice?” I am a mess, I have done nothing but cry while peeing on the stick, I feel like I will lose a lot, I am just not ready for a baby, not from him or not right now “abortion, that is the choice. I can’t do it, look. I can’t do it, I got someone I’ve always wanted back” my voice broke “yes I am being emotional about this, yes I am just jumping but Mel. I did fall for him, I really did. He is everything I wanted but I want to get to know him again but if I am pregnant I don’t think he will want to know me like that, yes we are friends but I can see my future when I look in his eyes, I fell for him and I want that” Mel’ eyes widened “chile, you are going to chase?” nodding my head “but I need this over with, I need this gone because honestly it’s on my mind. I will be truthful with him if I do get an abortion but mentally I don’t care for it, I can’t have it. My mom will hate me if she found out” Mel seems to be in shock with me, but I am being truthful “I didn’t know you loved him like that though, not going to lie” sighing out “I kept it away, like I cried so much when I arrived back. I had no phone; I couldn’t afford one. I cried and didn’t eat, and then on top of that my gran. I told my gran that I found a boy I like, she laughed and said if he treats you right you fight for him, I am and will. I will get what I want, and I will throw Rakim to the curb, I am done with that, I want to be happy. I am thinking of me now” Mel grinned moving back into the bathroom “this Chris guy has really got you on this war path, I am finding this shocking but yet not shocking, I can’t get over how passionate you are about him, I really can’t wait to meet him actually” I really do not care for anyone liking him, I like him and I want him.

Rubbing my hands together “tell me!” I shouted “well, my sister” Mel came back out of the bathroom “I can honestly say god loves you because these bitches are negative as fuck” I jumped off of the bed and attacked Mel with a hug “yes! Oh my god! I was so scared” Mel wrapped her arms around me laughing “I am so happy for you and if you say this man is it then do it, you need to get rid of Rakim first ok” I breathed out, this stress has now gone. I can now concentrate on my future on what I want, I really just want to see Chris again and really get to see what he is feeling and what he actually wants to do but I need to not jump like I did because I really got mad with him “I love you” kissing Mel’ cheek “love you too, and please do not have sex with Rakim. Get rid of him, honestly. Don’t play no games with him and then have this Chris guy on the side. Just stop that and move on, I see the difference with you both, you are hating him because you have got Chris back. I just don’t want you to play with fire” nodding my head walking towards my bed “I just need to start my period, chile. If Chris is coming here you never know I could, you know. Get some dick?” sitting on the bed “dick!? Bitch what kind of friends are you” I grinned “mhmm well he does mention about my pussy but he is joking with me, but yeah. What it is with Chris and I, I fell for him. I really did, we made out and we were always touchy with each other and we were happy, he said he would have asked me out, but I went. We were practically dating” I giggled “but I just, I am just happy about this. But he did say he was going to come; I hope he does” I clapped my hands together.

Walking behind Rakim as we left the hotel with the entourage to go the after party, I feel better to not be pregnant. I am more light hearted now because if you would have asked me earlier I was ready to break down and cry, smiling at the paparazzi as they took pictures “hi mami, how was the concert” one of them shouted, Rich moved them out the way as I got into the SUV “I will probably leave early” shuffling across the seats so Mel can sit with me “cool, I am departing from you. Going to Barcelona” I am glad Rakim is “aww that makes me so sad” turning in my seat to look behind me at him “you could have said that in much more sincere voice” I giggled “well I do mean it, when are you back anyways? Hopefully not soon” Rakim does have a nice smile, that is the one thing I like about him “you are hard work, I swear you are. Erm, I am in Europe for a while now. But you may be in Barbados by then” that is good, I can be free with Chris “but then I want to make it back for your New York date, so I am coming early” letting out an oh “what is so special about that date?” I don’t get it “you are being so modest, you selling out Barclays, I know Jay going to be there. A lot of people going to be there to support you so I will be back for it” he is being kind, but I don’t want it “so that is two days? You going there for two days? Delay it and go after my concert then?” makes no sense at all “see what happens, I got you” I wish he didn’t.

Rakim loves bringing his mob, like they are a menace, they are forever starting some shit too with people in the club. At times people just hit into you by mistake, they take is as offense “Rih” Drake hugged me “good seeing you again” I said hugging him back “been a while ASAP, I am out” he dapped Rakim as he left our VIP area, bopping my head as Rakim’ song came on in the club “ I'm going wild for the night, fuck being polite” I spat as the beat dropped “it’s the weekend and I’m creeping with my niggas” Rakim put his arm around me, I do love this song but I deep down know what the blogs going to be saying which has been every night, like we are the in love couple but it’s not love, really not that. Feeling a kiss to my cheek as he moved back, Mel smiled at me. Holding my hand out and she got her hand open to me, I took her hand and stepped down “I am done!” I spat sitting down next to her, she put her arm around me “what happened to leaving this nigga!?” she said in my ear, I shrugged “soon” I said but not sure if Mel heard that.

I didn’t even know Chris text me, I was really enjoying myself in the club this time around. I don’t have that weight of I could be pregnant anymore, looking up to check if Rakim is coming and he is still outside, unlocking my phone.

Twin:

It’s all good! I can come for the weekend

Robyn:

Aaaahhhhhh!! Oh my god, I am so happy. Thank you christoff! I cannot wait to see you xxx

I had to text him back so fast when I read that, he is coming to New York. I know he has been saying he might come but he is, and now I am thinking what the fuck do I do with him, he is so hard headed. It’s crazy because I feel like I know him inside out already, I know he is hard headed, I know he will not take money or freebies from me which it won’t be at all. I think maybe I should get Mel to book an apartment because he will not stay in a hotel I book for him, if I get an apartment that way he can stay, separate rooms or whatever but it will be easier that way instead of battling him on this, I really want to give him but he won’t take it. Now I really don’t know what to do, going missing for two whole days, I need a good story for this. My phone pinged in my lap, picking up my phone from my lap and unlocking it.

Twin:

If only you knew what I had to actually do to do this! You better appreciate 🙄🙄🙄

Robyn:

I can imagine! I know this is your job and stuff but I really do appreciate it. Just to catch up and stuff, what time will you arrive? Xx

Twin:

Uhm

About 6pm? I will be in New York by then yeah

Robyn:

Please do not be hard headed with this BUT I need you to come to Barclays and Mel my friend will meet you and also why are you awake? It’s late xx

Twin:

😥 😓

Robyn:

What do you want me to do? Wait for you with a sign in my hand at JFK? 🤨🤨

Twin:

Greyhound ✌️

Robyn:

You love to be this way! OMG! You was never like this………………. Soo are you going to do it?

Twin:

🩸🩸🩸🩸 YET?

Robyn:

What!?

Twin:

Period?

I breathed out trying to not laugh but he is infuriating me and I want to get mad with him but I am laughing “sorry about that” Rakim got into the SUV “uh it’s ok” trying to now smile too much “you happy as hell, let’s go!” he shouted at the driver “yeah, just Mel being dumb on text. She left early didn’t she” I lied, looking back down at my phone.

Robyn:

Why on earth do you care about my period!?

Twin:

Cause you moody af!

Robyn:

I am happy actually 😾😾😾

Twin:

Das how your pussy look! I was being a caring friend ugly! My break is over so bye!

I swear to god, he is actually annoying at times. I cannot comprehend why this boy is going on greyhound to come New York when he can catch a flight here and why does he care about my period, I mean maybe he is just being caring but he honestly makes me smile but he is coming here, I am so happy that he is. My period is a little fucked up though, still hasn’t arrived. Something is off with it, whatever it is I am not having sex unless it’s with Chris but I don’t think we will, it’s going to be a good long catch up for us and I can’t wait for it.

#Chrianna FF #Chrianna #Chrianna Fanfiction #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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manggojooz · 5 years

Text

Take My Hands Now (Part 9)

pairing: Jungkook x reader

word count: 2,980 thereabouts

genre: drama, angst

summary: You were born with a condition that allowed you to feel the pain someone else was going through when you touched them. Jungkook, on the other hand, looked like he could not be any less bothered with other people’s feelings and was a well known playboy of the school. One night, at a party, while he attempted to turn you into his toy for the night, he grabbed your hand and pain crashed through you, making you wonder whether behind the facade of this pleasure seeker, he could also be hiding something.

warnings: mmmm... don’t think there’s anything worth mentioning

Song rec: Hurt - by Johnny Cash (recommended by @ren-lotus)

“But doing these hurts me a hell lot, so hurt a hell lot like me.”

Jungkook turned around to look at you, you were on the brink of tears. He took each step carefully as he walked back towards you, like he was treading a really thin layer of ice. He wanted to tell you not to cry, to not feel hurt. But how could he when he knew who exactly it was that made you this way. He wanted to hold you. But how could he when he knows fully well what you would feel if he did that.

All his life he lived with that same feeling; he ignored it, he tried to tame it, he tried everything - and more often than not his attempts sought a physical escape. And now, he cannot comprehend, how is it that a girl he couldn’t even touch was stirring so much emotion within him?

“Y/N’s friend!”, the moment was abruptly broken. “Haven’t seen you around these few days. I didn’t even manage to catch your name the last time”, your store manager walked up, once again intercepting the conversation.

“You can just call me Jungkook, Mr. Hwang.”

Your manager was caught by surprise, “How did you know my surname?”

“I overhead it when you were speaking to the nurse that day.” Contrary to popular belief, Jungkook isn’t as inattentive as he would have others believe him to be.

“Right. So, Jungkook, will you be joining the dinner at Yunsu’s place on Friday?”

“I’m sorry but what dinner? And who is Yunsu?”, Jungkook asked, his confusion evident.

“Y/N, you haven’t told him about it?”

The mood between the two of you now was definitely not the right one to be casually inviting him over to someone else’s dinner.

“Ummm... I was eventually going to tell him about it...”, you stuttered.

Your store manager habitually wrestled the conversation out of your hands, “You remember the pregnant lady from last time? She wants to thank us for our help, so she’s inviting us to a small gathering. She specifically requested to invite you of course, after all that you did for her that day.”

“I didn’t do much...”, he looked between your manager and you with his unblinking eyes, and cautiously said, “I think it’s better if I don’t go.”

You sighed a tiny sigh, “You should come, Yunsu will feel bad if you don’t.”

---

"Y/N, what exactly happened between you and Jungkook?”, Mirae asked you almost as a filler to the lack of conversation over lunch. Namjoon looked up at you as he continued to diligently chew on his food.

The sudden questioning had you stunned, “Huh? Why are you suddenly asking that?”

“I’m curious too. Maybe he really did something and she beat him up”, Namjoon chimed in.

“That is not what happened”, you narrowed your eyes at Namjoon.

“Ahhh, so something did happen”, Mirae deduced, “what is it?”

You were caught in the headlights again, “Huh? No... that’s not what I meant. Nothing happened, why do you guys think that something happened between us?”

“Ever since Jungkook’s birthday party, the two of you have been acting weirdly around each other, something must have happened for the both of you to have changed like that”, Mirae was like an inspector interrogating you and you could see Namjoon nodding.

“Pfft, what could possibly change? Anyway, how would you know if anything’s changed, how do you even tell such things?”, you questioned with a roll of your eyes. But your question was not only aimed at Mirae, it was for yourself too.

“What do you mean how do we know it? We know it because we can feel it. It's so freaking obvious, I think I can literally smell something burning in the atmosphere between you two”, Namjoon rebuked.

“That's too dramatic Namjoon, but yes Y/N, it’s so obvious that even if you don’t tell us we can feel that something is going on”, Mirae said while holding her hand up and Namjoon high-fived her without even so much as look at her hand and he shoves another spoonful of rice into his mouth.

“Looking at the two of you like this, I think I can smell something going on between you two as well...”, you leaned closer to the both of them making sniffing noises.

Namjoon swallowed his mouthful of food and turned sharply to Mirae, “Is there something going on between us?”, he asked gapingly.

“Keep wishing Kim Namjoon...”, Mirae answered him in her most deadpan tone.

---

You were supposed to visit Yunsu after work that day. Before you ended work, you were wrecking your brains trying to pick out a suitable book from the children’s section as a gift for her. Your mind couldn’t help gravitating towards that one book, but it was clearly not suited for toddlers. Oh well, never mind, even if it’s not suitable now, she will be able to read it when she is older.

You extracted a copy from the shelf, and opened to one of the illustrated pages again. Even though this book was a children’s book, the lessons went way beyond:

Piglet: “How do you spell ‘love’?” Pooh: “You don’t spell it… you feel it.”

---

By the time you reached Yunsu’s place, she had already started preparing dinner. Your manager and you brought some tonics for Yunsu and you gave her the book for Ri-ah. Ri-ah was happily lying in her cradle, you started playing peek-a-boo with her while your manager offered to help out in the kitchen.

The doorbell rang and this time it was Jungkook. But he wasn’t alone, there were another three of four guys in uniform behind him. They carried into the house what looked like the entire section of a supermarket – cartons of milk powder, diapers, baby clothes and toys.

“I didn’t know which one to get so...”, he said and then he squeezed his lips tightly together in a sheepish way.

So typical of him to just get everything when he didn’t know what the recipient would like, you thought to yourself.

Dinner was great, Yunsu was a surprisingly good cook. Jungkook didn’t say much during dinner, choosing instead to listen to Yunsu’s story, which she recounted for his benefit. A conversation then ensued about her childbirth process which started getting a bit too morbid for you and Yunsu and your manager laughed at how you were starting to look all queasy.

“I’ll help wash the dishes”, Jungkook suddenly said, he was afraid you would notice his attempt to break up the conversation but he was more concerned whether you were looking squeamish because you remembered the feeling from when Yunsu held onto you that day.

“Oh no no no, a young master like you shouldn’t be stepping foot in the kitchen. Just stay here and make sure Yunsu is not tiring herself out more.”, your manager exclaimed as he begun collecting the dirty dishes.

Jungkook looked appalled at being called ‘young master’.

“I did my homework too, I know who your dad is”, your manager laughed. Yunsu also got up to prepare some fruits but you insisted that you will do it instead, and you vanished with your manager into the kitchen.

Since she wasn’t allowed to enter the kitchen anymore, Yunsu went to pick up Ri-ah from her crib instead, cuddling her and asking Jungkook whether he would like to hold Ri-ah too. He rejected at first but Yunsu shoved Ri-ah's cute face into his arms, which shook involuntarily as he held her, fearing that he might just drop her. Yunsu couldn’t help but laugh at his nervousness.

Having cut up some apples and melon, you were planning to take the plates out to the living room but the conversation you overheard had you stopping behind the curtains that separated the kitchen from the living room.

“So, did you tell Ri-ah's father about her?”, Jungkook’s voice was so soft, maybe he was afraid of scaring Ri-ah.

“I did, it’s up to him to decide now, what kind of life he wants. I think I'll be ok even if he refuses to acknowledge our existence”, she said even more gently.

“If he doesn’t come back now, don’t let him come back ever.”

You heard Yunsu snicker. “If he wants to, I will let him come back anytime, with a price of course”, she replied teasingly. But a second later her voice seemed to turn a little more serious, “After having gone through this myself, I think everyone deserves a second chance.”

“Not everyone”, Jungkook’s mood sounded full of despair.

“Why? You sound like you regret not having a second chance for something”, Yunsu probed.

“I didn’t even deserve the first one.”

---

When you left Yunsu’s house, you refused a lift from your manager since his place was a different route from yours and the bus stop was sufficiently close by. As you were walking to the bus stop, a quiet and cautious Jungkook was trailing behind you.

You turned to look at him when you were about to reach the bus stop, and he visibly tensed up, quickly putting one hand into his pocket and raising the other hand to rub the back of his neck. You turned around and proceeded to the bench at the bus stop, sitting down. It was more awkward since there was not another soul at the bus stop.

He walked over to where you sat and stood at the other end of the bench, both hands in his pockets now and staring down at his feet.

“What did you want to say to me the last time?”, you suddenly asked, causing him to jump a bit.

His head was still bent but he turned to eye you, like a child. “Which time?”, he questioned.

“The times when you stopped me in school, you said you had things to tell me”, you answered without looking at him.

He gingerly sat down on the opposite corner of the bench and cleared his throat as quietly as he could, sending multiple quick glances towards you trying to determine whether this was his chance to say what he had been wanting to say.

“I know there's something’s wrong with me, but I still can’t quite figure out what exactly it is. You know how I feel all the time. I don’t remember when it started or why or how...

At first I tried to distract myself from it ... but it didn’t go away. And then I wanted to make others feel the same way as I did, to understand how I feel every day.

But now that I think about it, maybe what I really wanted was just for someone to ask if I was ok, to understand what I was going through. But I guess no one ever did, or could. So, when you asked if I was ok, and when I realised you could feel what I felt, I thought... I guess I felt vulnerable and I didn’t understand what it meant to me at that time.

I don’t know if my problems are big enough for me to even be feeling this way. But that’s how it has become for me, I am dealing with everything the only way I know how. Even if all these seems stupid to you… I’m truly sorry for wanting to hurt you.”

Your expression was unreadable to Jungkook and you weren’t looking at him, but the mere fact that you listened to him finish saying all that was enough for him.

The rational part of yourself was wrestling every other part of you to not fall into the same trap again, but every other part of you were able to feel it, that he meant what he said, that this seemed like the real Jungkook. For the first time he didn’t appear like he wore any disguises or set up any defences, this was just him – confused, uncertain, emotionally-stunted and regretful.

“Just because other people have it worse, it doesn’t mean you are not entitled to feel your pain”, your eyes had softened minimally, “it’s not a competition about whose situation is worse and there are no rules dictating how much pain you are allowed to feel. That's one thing I have learnt after so many years of living like a vicarious pain-meter.”

You always leave him a little speechless every time. He wasn’t used to dealing with someone like this, someone who could understand his feelings, not shun them and help him face them.

And then your bus came, he hesitated whether to offer to take you home, but he didn’t feel like you would want him around anymore, not since you still didn’t seem to have forgiven him for what he did.

You boarded the bus without saying another word and it drove off. He hated watching you leave, it reminded him of the same feeling that his house made him feel. And then his phone buzzed in his pocket, one noisy Hoseok asking him to get home.

---

"I forgot all about these”, Hoseok pointed at the presents sitting in the back of his car, filling up two boxes.

“What the heck are these?”, Jungkook asked in bewilderment.

“The hearts you have broken? I wrapped all of them up for you”, Hoseok said with much sarcasm. “What do you think they are? Your presents from your birthday party of course.” Hoseok expected as much from Jungkook. “Stop standing there, I’m not driving all these home again, you’d better take all of them.”

“I don’t want them”, Jungkook stuffed his hands into his pockets, refusing.

“That’s rude af dude, at least open them then we’ll decide what to do with it, alright? Get over here and take this box, I'll take the other one”, Hoseok persisted as he picked up one box and gestures for Jungkook to take it.

Once they walked into Jungkook’s house, a man dressed in a swanky outfit brushed past them in the doorway, awkwardly greeting the both of them before hurrying out the door. Hoseok muttered under his breath, “Again.”

Their attention was then caught by some noises coming from the dining hall, where one of the wooden doors was half opened. Jungkook set down the box he was holding and walked over, Hoseok following behind him.

“Stop bringing them home, please. Were the news reports not enough? Do you know how much money I had to spend to get those taken down, apart from how much value we lost thanks to the drop in our stock prices?”, Jungkook’s father was glowering at his mother.

This was the first time Jungkook saw his father confronting his mother about anything, they hardly even talked over all these years. He somehow felt like a nervous child watching his parents fight for the first time.

“If money can solve it then it’s nothing too difficult, isn’t it?”, his mother replied while swirling her wine glass.

“Isn’t it?”, he said with disbelief. “You think it's easy for me? Do you know how much I endure every single day to have these things you call ‘easy’?”

She scoffed.

“Are you laughing? Why not you try living my life? Enduring the scheming corporate world, your ridiculously authoritarian father, the intrusive media, your batshit crazy antics and...”, he paused, reluctant to continue.

“And what? Say it”, Jungkook’s mother replied cynically.

“And the constant humiliation... knowing that my son… is not my son.”

Jungkook stopped breathing, a jolt of shock ran through him and a frown of utter disbelief appeared on his face. He must have heard it wrong.

“Nobody forced you to endure all of this. Nobody forced you to be my husband, to be the CEO and... nobody forced you to act like his father”, she said in the slowest yet most confrontational manner.

“If I didn’t agree to it, he wouldn’t even have a father! Do you even know who his father actually is?”

Her eyes widened in rage and she began shouting hysterically, “You did it in exchange to be appointed as the CEO of the company! Stop pretending like you did anything for anyone other than yourself!

I don’t know who his father is, so what? You knew my father wanted to cover it up so badly, and you used it to bargain for the CEO position after you found out. I am sick of watching your act and I know what you want, but dream on, I will never agree to let you take over the company!”

He hissed a reply to her outrage, “That is not entirely up to you now, is it? You know how your father is like, always business first. And I know his company much better than any one of you. After all these years don’t you think that he will agree that I deserve at least that much for putting up with all of these?”

She smashes the wine glass she was holding onto the floor, shards of glass littering the space between the two of them, the wine that used to sit in it flowing on the floor. She couldn’t remember who she hated more, that included herself.

Jungkook stood behind the door left half-ajar, feeling like everything within him was crashing and burning. Did he just lose the last person he held onto in this place? Maybe he never had him from the beginning. The feelings within him grew deeper and darker. He couldn’t decide who he was supposed to hate, and that included himself.

He always wondered what this feeling was, he always thought maybe it was his sadness, his anger or just sheer injustice that he felt.

But now he finally seems to understand the torture that an empty soul can bring the pain you feel because you know you have nothing.

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ren-c-leyn · 5 years

Text

The Cycle Repeated

Another fusion story, this one’s a bit off the beaten path, but I had fun working on it. It’s made up of these 1,2 prompts by @thependragonwritersguild, this prompt by @inspiring-prompts, this prompt by @sentence-prompts, these 1,2,3,4,5 prompts by @givethispromptatry, this prompt by @oopsprompts, and this prompt by @humdrummoloch.

It’s a bit of an angstier piece (shocking, I know), that I think is considered low fantasy? I’m not really sure, since this isn’t my usual forte XD There is a (kinda) character death, a fight scene, and a battle that will probably never be resolved.

And I knew they were back. That I would need to face them again. If I was here, then so were they. Eternal enemies, fighting, dying, then taking our first breaths again. The settings and eras changed, but we never did. Though, I knew we weren’t the only things that didn’t.

I don’t think my mortal friend understood when I first explained things to her. She gave me that blank ‘you must be mad’ stare, the same one I had received for centuries. It wasn’t until the death toll and the plots started coming to light that she realized the threat was very real. Thankfully, she was good with this so called technology, seeing as magic had grown even weaker since the last time I had been born, because I couldn’t find my way out of a mall with a map, little alone locate my nemesis. But she found them, and we were now standing beneath the huge building.

“You’re ok with this?”

“Well… No. I’m not, but I’ve lived a thousand lives and died a thousand deaths. What’s one more in the grand scheme of things?”

She looked at me.

“But... she’s the only one you can count on meeting again, right?”

I sighed and nodded.

“Time and time again, but never as friend. Sometimes they win, sometimes I do... I cannot promise either outcome today.” I looked back at her. “I just want you to realize that if this doesn’t work I will die and you will be left to deal with the fall out. Can you do that?”

“I have to, don’t I? She’ll destroy the world if I don’t.”

“Not all of it, just certain sections, knowledges, and philosophies.”

“... Right. I still don’t get that.”

I smiled bitterly.

“You have not lived as we have. Now, I’m going in, you can either stay or follow, but I cannot guarantee your survival if you come.”

“Well I’m not just going to stand out here in the cold like a dork, knowing you’re fighting for people’s lives.”

“Alright, then stay behind me. I mean it, your life will mean nothing to them.”

She nodded, but I wasn’t sure if she truly comprehended the thousands of years of cruelty history had beaten into my old enemy. The way dictators and wars had ravaged their mind and twisted them from being my old friend into being the enemy of many.

I reflected on our dark histories as I ascended the stairs, not trusting the rickety boxes my new friend called elevators. Thinking about it, not much had really changed in all of this time. Corruption, suffering, fights over nothing and everything, people breaking each other over their own pain....

“I can’t believe this is still my life,” I sighed out.

“Then... why do you still do this sort of thing?”

I glanced back at her, confused.

“Why keep wasting your lives doing something you don’t want to?”

“My first priority is the protection of civilians.”

“I’m not a civilian.”

“Yeah, but if I say ‘mortals’ I sound like a weirdo.”

She laughed.

“True... but is that really it? Duty and honor?”

I looked forward again, checking to see what floor we had reached.

“If you throw away honor, what do you have left, really?”

She went quiet, though I wondered sometimes if it was to think about what I was saying or to keep herself from laughing at it.

I stopped at the floor she had traced the signal too, motioning for her to wait.

“Okay, I want you to stay back. Please don’t put yourself in danger if you don’t have to.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Against someone who has trained for hundreds of lifetimes in the arts of combat from dozens of cultures?”

She grinned.

“Don’t know, sounds like fun to find out though.”

I sighed.

“Then we’ll spar when this is over, but for now, please be careful. I need someone who knows what the hell is happening to clean things up if I fail to.”

“Fine.”

“Thank you.”

I wandered into the hall, keeping my guard up as I slid from door to door, peaking my head in to check to make sure my ancient foe was not hiding behind them. Room after room appeared abandoned, save for strange technologies and devices. I sensed magic protecting and powering some of them. It seemed I was not the only one who refused to abandon the arcane arts, though I appeared to be the only one who hated machinery.

When I reached the end of the hall, there was a flash of purple and I dived for the ground. Magic energy cackled somewhere behind me. It seemed they weren’t going to be pulling any punches today.

“Sillian!” I shouted.

A tall, blonde woman stepped out from behind the door, eyes glowing purple with magic.

“That hasn’t been my name in centuries.”

I drug myself up onto my feet.

“I don’t care what name you use these days, people are dying because of you!”

“Oh, good, I thought all my effort was going to be wasted. So hard to tell if your schemes are actually working in this day and age.”

“Sillian,” I said, trying to keep my voice level as I called forth the ancient powers to my own body, staring at their new face from behind the hazy glow of yellow, “I know you have the potential to feel something for these people. You don’t need to do this. You don’t need to hurt them. We can educate them, show them the truth.”

And they laughed. Laughed that horrible laugh they always did when I tried to reason with them.

“Of course, of course you haven’t learned... mortals, their memories aren’t like ours. Generation after generation... they erase it. Their history, their ancestor’s hard learned lessons. Why do you think they keep trading all they have for some illusion of fairness? For the belief that their kings and queens, elected and otherwise, will care for anything but power over them? To control and manipulate them? Why do you think they believe everything and stand for little more than getting in their own way?” They leaned forward, dropping their voice to that hoarse whisper. “Because they don’t teach their children about the horrible things that happened in the past. They bury it, and expect the next generations not to repeat the horrible mistakes of the past.... But we know better. Or, at least, I know better.”

“Then teach them! Teach them their histories, teach them the wrongs being committed against them!”

They shook their head at me, sadness creeping onto their face. I grit my teeth before I found myself shouting at them.

“Please amaze me. Prove me wrong! Just this once! Prove to me that you aren’t a monster!”

“No. I will continue to disappoint you. To kill monsters, sometimes you need to be one. I’m sorry.”

“No you aren’t. If you were then you wouldn’t be doing this at all.”

“… You’re right. It’s hard to be sorry for trying to fix things when all that’s left are bad memories. But you know, I only have one thing I’m truly sorry for. My one regret was saving your life.”

And they raised a hand, magic energy collecting in their fingertips. Once I managed to get over the shock of the statement, I quickly raised my own, trying to counter before I got blown away.

Magic tore through the building in a bright light. I heard glass shatter and the whine of metal bending. There was so much going on, I couldn’t even tell what parts of my body hurt and what parts I just couldn’t feel anymore. Lightening bolts, shrouds of mist, bolts of energy, it all happened so fast that the only thing I could register in my mind clearly was the screams of my new friend.

And then it was silent. Too much so. I couldn’t see my enemy, but I could couldn’t see a good portion of my gut. Adrenaline again, the only thing keeping my heart beating. I... I had to say good-bye before I left.

I limped quickly to find my friend, covering my wound. I found her in the stairwell, bruised and ruffled from falling, but otherwise alright. She met my gaze and jumped up from the landing she had been sitting on.

“You’re back! Wait, I’m confused. How did you survive that?”

“I didn’t,” I replied before removing my hand from over my stomach.

Her eyes widened.

“Oh... Oh my god... Okay, we... we need to call you an ambulance.”

She searched around for her phone as I leaned against the wall, only to find it broken. The tears started to form.

“No... no, no, no.... Okay, okay, we need... we need to get you out of here.”

I shook my head.

“It’s too late. They can’t fix magic wounds in this day and age.”

“NO! Don’t say that! Don’t give up!”

“Don’t be sad child, everything with a start must eventually come to an end.”

I sat down, feeling my heart slowing to a crawl as the adrenaline faded away.

“It’s just one more death... in the grand scheme of things. I’ll be back... I always come back.”

“But not for me.”

“But you’ll... remember... what happened... what I... what I taught... you....”

#fiction #fantasy #angst #short story #long short story #writer #am writing #writers of tumblr #a story by Ren #my writing #this was kind of an interesting piece to work on

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darkmindsthinktwistedthoughts · 5 years

Text

False Protection

Warning: a little angst fluff from a certain Dummy.

Masterlist

---

False Protection

“You complete and total blockhead Yuki!” The bed chamber’s door slid back so fast he felt the room tremble and thought the wall might fall down. His usually smiling wife was red-faced furious and looking at him like a wild animal.

“Blockhead! Blockhead! Blockhead! Hehe!” Bouncing around her ankles was their daughter happily chanting her mother’s insult.

“Hey! I’m the only one that gets to call your father that. You just call him Daddy.” Her tone had softened as she spoke to their child it felt strange to see the shift given how angry she had been seconds before.

Yukimura sat bewildered on the futon. His armour was carefully assembled on its stand in the room again but he suddenly wanted to don it for whatever protection it might give against his Princess on a rampage.

“Hey calm down!”

“Calm – Calm down? How can you tell me to do that?” He saw many things during battle. Many things he couldn’t unsee and things he also hated, still it hurt every time. But nothing compared to seeing his wife lose her smile and her eyes swimming with unshed tears. She turned again to their child and continued talking to her “Sweetheart can you go find Uncle Sasuke and play with him for a bit please?”

“But I wanna see Daddy!” The little girl pouted and crossed her arms across her chest in the most adorable way.

“I know but right now grown-ups need to talk first you can see Daddy in a little bit ok?” Aerion bent down and stroked the little girl’s hair.

“Promise?” The child turned her big blue eyes up at her mother.

“Promise.”

Apparently happy with this the child turned around and began to scamper down the corridor outside calling for Sasuke. Yukimura might have laughed at that had he not already fallen victim once more to his wife’s glare that had him pinned in place.

“What do you think you were doing?” Aerion asked as soon as their child was out of earshot.

“It was a battle. You know what I was doing.” Yukimura attempted to shrug only to be reminded of the tight bandages binding his torso and the pain from trying to move the torn muscle structure of his body.

“I would have excepted something like this from Masa but not from my own husband.” Aerion grumbled pinching the bridge of her nose with her eyes scrunched shut. It was bad enough that he knew he had indirectly hurt her but to have her bring up another guy at this time was almost beyond the limit for him too.

“Could you not bring up your ‘brother’ right now? And I told you I’m fine. I’m still here aren’t I?” His words came out harsher than he intended and instantly regretted it when she opened her eyes and he could see they were wetter than before.

“In how many pieces?” Her voice was forced control. She was managing to keep the trembling out of it allowing it to stay even. “I would never tell you not to fight. I don’t tell you what to do any more than you would tell me. But please dear you have to try to at least think of it from my point of view when you get home.”

“Stop being a dummy you worry too much. I’ve had far worse injuries over the years and I’m fine.” Yukimura had shifted into his defiant offensive state if for no other reason than he felt like his wife was overreacting.

“Would you like to see me injured?” Aerion asked the question quietly as she turned her head to his armour. Her eyes raked over it taking in every piece of damage and bloodstain.

“WHAT!? OF COURSE NOT! What a stupid question. I fight so I can protect you why the hell would I want to see you hurt?” He raised his voice completely unable to control the panic in it.

“Then why is it so hard to understand that I DON’T like to see YOU hurt either? When are you going to get it into that thick head of yours that when you hurt I hurt too?” Aerion spat out those words without even looking at him and spun around on the spot slamming the sliding door shut behind her as she left.

“Mummy, Mummy!” The little girl ran up to her mother her pink hakama sporting a couple of stains that resembled grass and mud. “Sasuke was showing me how to avoid kunai!”

“Was he now? Well don’t let your father know that or he’ll hit the roof.” Aerion chuckled as she looked at the little girl’s beaming smile.

“I pride myself on my training and skill to know at no point did what I was doing mean that the little Princess was ever in danger.” Sasuke appeared out of nothingness at their side bringing with him a feeling of secure calm like a soft breeze.

“As expected from the best Ninja I know.” Aerion smiled at her friend ignoring the slight blush he had on his face for a few seconds.

“Mummy, can I go get some cake now?” Her daughter asked pulling on the hem of her kimono.

“You haven’t had dinner yet.” Attempting to give a show of resistance to the idea Aerion quickly changed tactic and bent down to whisper in the child’s ear. “Fine but don’t tell Daddy.”

“YAY!”

Taking off running at full speed Aerion watched and laughed noting that her daughter once more was barefoot and the dirt on the hakama was nothing to the mud under it.

“You don’t look any less stressed than before.” Sasuke watched the little Princess run away as well a smile on his face.

“Sometimes it’s hard to tell if you are naturally this observant or if it’s something you picked up in training.” Aerion sighed and plonked down on the grass, drawing her knees up to her chin.

“A little of both.” Sasuke said as he joined her. Sitting a respectable distance away whilst still being close enough that he could speak to her without shouting. “Let me guess he didn’t exactly open up when you spoke to him and probably said something that made it all worse.”

“You know him too well. I wouldn’t exactly say he said something that made it worse I mean he was just Yuki being Yuki.” Aerion shrugged.

“Are you alright?”

“Shouldn’t you be asking you BFF that?” Aerion looked over her shoulder at him her hair falling loose from her head. It never stayed put in any style it was something he loved about her. It summed her up in a simple way. A force that was not easy to control.

“I am. You are both my BFFs. Besides Yukimura tends to look after himself in these situations if he wants me he calls. You Aerion tend to brood and not say anything.” Sasuke announced his observation flatly and adjusted his glasses in an effort to distract his mind from venturing down a path he had long since given up on following.

“Are you trying to pick a fight?” Aerion laughed swatting his shoulder lightly.

“Not at all. I was pointing out that my two BFF’s are a perfect pair. I actually admire your tenacity and strength to continue with it.” At his words, her eyes widened before turning away from him and focusing their gaze on something far away.

“That’s a nice way of calling me stubborn and stupid. Thanks, Sasuke.”

“Whatever for?”

“Just being here.” She lowered her chin onto her knees and fell silent again.

“I’ll always be here for you Aerion.”

Paperwork felt like it was recreating itself faster than he could finish it. It had been a week since the last battle and a few days since his wife had yelled at him in their room. She had not returned once she left which allowed his own head to stew and mull over what had been said.

All he had ever wanted to do was keep her safe and protect her. He wanted to be strong enough to do that and when they had their child to those feelings only intensified. How did it come to this?

-Sigh-

Rubbing his shoulder with one hand he let his brush drop on the desk. Little flecks of ink splattered from its bristles as it rolled. He was tired and sore and the one thing he needed…. Wanted… was avoiding him for the time being.

“That was a big sigh”

“Ah! Oh, for hell’s sake Sasuke don’t make me jump like that it hurts!” Yukimura whipped around on his cushion and glared at his friend.

“Sorry.”

“Something tells me you’re not really being sincere.” Yukimura huffed retrieving his brush and placing it by the inkstone.

“You got me.” Sasuke came closer and took a seat looking at the papers on the desk momentarily before continuing. “Yukimura you are one of the most straight forward, determined and historically amazing people I know.”

“… thanks I guess.”

“But you are also not very honest with your own feelings. Easily embarrassed and blunter than a ladle.”

“Hey!” Sasuke’s rare show of uncandid fault-finding had caused him to shout.

“Can you deny that?”

“This is about Aerion isn’t it? Did she send you here?” Ignoring the rest of his papers for the time being Yuki huffed like his daughter and once more took on a defensive attitude.

“No, she didn’t. She wouldn’t. I am here because whilst I am aware that you two will make up sooner or later there is another factor that cannot be allowed to be affected anymore by this state of affairs.”

“There you go talking in riddles again.” In all the years he had known Sasuke he knew enough to know that the guy meant well even if there were times when he made no sense with what he was saying. It wasn’t his fault but Yukimura had wondered what village would teach someone to talk like he did.

“I’m talking about your daughter. Aerion knows that she is to coin a modern term a ‘Daddy’s girl’ and has done everything she can to shield the child from realising you are not only injured but have been away from home for work for a while.” What Sasuke was saying was nothing but the truth. Yuki knew that and it was also why it was so hard to argue against it. This was wrong he knew that too but it was difficult to move forward and correct things when you were facing someone who could be just as stubborn and bull-headed on a topic as you could.

“She doesn’t have to do that.”

“Oh? And how much do you think a child can comprehend of a grown-up’s misfortune?” Sasuke asked the question before he could stop himself. He knew from watching Yuki that he had been brooding just as must as his wife. Things had been said and both were hurt. “I’m not asking you to do much Yukimura but I cannot take seeing my only two BFF’s in this world silently fighting. It is only a matter of time before your daughter figures it out as well.” Sasuke decided to leave before saying anything else on the topic. He trusted his friend to know when to make the first move and find his wife. But there were times when he needed that little shove of a reminder to make the move sooner rather than later.

It was much later than dinner when he managed to make it back to their room. The lanterns had been lit by the maids but he knew there was a good chance it would be empty on his return.

He had never been good with emotional women. There was something about them that scared him. They were more erratic than an angry wild boar, but that was not the main reason. The main reason he found them so scary was the feeling of helplessness he had when looking at them screaming and crying. The knowledge that he couldn’t do anything to stop the tears and make it all better no matter how much he tried to sent him back in time to being a helpless little boy watching his home burning.

Ghosts of the past passing over his current life as if they were shadows. Masking the light of the sun and plunging his thoughts into darkness. His hand stopped before it could touch the door and he cast his eyes out into the gardens of the castle.

Bathing in the moonlight the plants and rocks looked mystical. The way the colours changed and glowed had him thinking of far off lands and tales from the past. Places where mythical creatures dwelled waiting for unsuspecting humans.

Under the tree by the reflecting pool stood the figure of someone he knew all too well. His wife. In a land of moonlight, she probably fitted in all too well but it did make him want to run to her side to remind her to come home again. To follow him back to where the sunlight could find her. Something about her standing there alone made him think of all that. She suddenly looked fragile. His strong stubborn love in the silvery rays.

“Aerion!” He called out before he could reach her and was a little pleased when she turned to him giving him a faint smile.

“That’s my name.” Her blue eyes looked almost grey in the muted light, but her white hair sparkled like starlight.

“What are you doing out here? You’re going to catch a cold.” Yukimura removed his own haori and wrapped her up tight inside it.

“You finally remembered one thing Shingen told you then?” She made no attempt to brush away his hands as they touched her chilled skin instead she teased him as she always did.

“Don’t start. Look I –”

“I’m sorry.” She cut him off before he could speak.

“What?”

“I’m sorry. I realise its hard for you too and I was kind of only thinking of things from my side but I can’t hold back with you sometimes. You never tell me what you are really thinking and half of what you do I don’t find out about until it’s happened. You probably think it’s protecting me but it’s not. I want to know I want you to tell me I don’t care if it seems insignificant to you. I want to know Yuki I can’t take not knowing and then having to deal with curveballs out of nowhere.” Everything came flowing out of her in a giant torrent. Every thought and feeling she had been masking on full display at a speed that made his own head spin.

“Hey hey calm down.” He was at a loss as to what to do and settled on grabbing her and giving her a hug. Pressing her face into his chest as he stroked her hair. She could probably feel his own heart pounding but he couldn’t care less about that right now. “Dummy I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere I’m sorry I know I stressed you I didn’t mean to make it happen like that.”

“Promise me you won’t do it again. You said we were in this together. You said we are a team remember?” Her muffled voice was so earnest as she spoke it made him smile. She was back where she belonged. He had her by his side and she would be in the sun with him tomorrow as always.

“Yeah, I do. Of course, I do. I promise. I’m sorry too.”

---

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worfs-glorious-hair · 5 years

Text

Puzzle Pieces: The last Butterfly (RK-800 Connor x Reader; Detroit: Become Human) Part 3

Greetings, dear people!

Welcome to the third part of my Detroit: Become Human fanfiction.

I am still overwhelmed and in awe of the positive response that Puzzle Pieces got from you that I am no very happy to show you my next chapter. It’s Monday for you in this chapter, a new week is ahead of you, yay! Let’s see, what will happen, shall we?

Lots of love and wow, it’s already July, I posted the last chapter in December, hopefully I will finish the story during summer.

Anyways, lots of love,

Lady- Spacy

P.S. As always, if you want to be tagged in the next chapters just hit me up. And if I tagged you and you don't want that please inform me so I can remove your tag. <3

Part 1 Part 2

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There is a fence in my way, where I need to go. I need to get on the other side so badly!

Please, there must be a way!

The icy cold metal of the fence is burning my fingers as I desperately try to break the fence down.

I need to find a way through it!

I can’t see what’s on the other side, but it’s important. I know that something terrible will happen if I don’t get to the other side now, there is something that I need to protect at all costs!

All I see is the fence and a hint of blue light in the darkness behind it. My hands are changing, I see how they turn white in a blue light. As I raise them to my face I can feel it changing, too. I am not human anymore. An Android face stares at me through the fence, white, glossy skin but eyes, that are so alive, even familiar! I stare at my own face as it is opening its mouth and it screams, screams, screams, screams, screams!

With an audible gasp you woke up, a hammering heart in your chest, disorientated and confused about why you could still hear the scream from your dream…

As you sleepily turned around, you found your alarm ringing. With tired fingers you struggled to turn it off for a few moments but as soon as it’s quiet you fell back to your pillows with a sigh.

Your heavy breathing slowly calmed down, while you took in your familiar surroundings, this is your bed, your room, your chair with clothes on, your senses came back to you.

It was just a dream, weird to say the least, but just a dream. You are alright! And for confirmation you carefully touched your cheek, warm and definitely human skin. Everything is alright!  

It was already the beginning of November and you had spent the last months hoping you would come across your soulmate. Each and every Android that you had passed on the street caught your attention, always wondering if they would awake something in you, some kind of recognition of the love that is destined for you…

But never did something like that happen.

You continued with your life, doing your work, chatting with Malcolm, playing games with your family in the evenings, spending time with your friends, enjoying your creative hobbies as usual and all of that with the always burning question in your heart, how you could find him and who he was. You also caught yourself longing for a stranger, you imagined hands to be intertwined, someone walking close beside you, so your shoulders would eventually touch from time to time, feeling loyalty for a strangers was very odd but you could not describe it differently. You were loyal to Connor, whoever he was, wherever, whenever you would find him, you knew that you could not find love somewhere else, you could not find the romantic love you craved so desperately in someone else.

Before Connor’s name had appeared in your life you had sometimes played with the thought of just trying to find a relationship with someone without a soul mark just like you or someone who just didn’t care about their name on the wrist. They were people out there, who didn’t care. Everyone knew about them, people claiming independence from the ‘soulmate system’, people wanting to choose their destinies by themselves, people who wanted to decide their own fate in love and relationships. Often they lived in communities in bigger cities or all on their own on the countryside and a very few times you had done some research about these communities but never found the courage to actually go there. And now, you just couldn’t anymore. Still, you yearned for a bond with someone, you dreamed of a fast beating excited heart, an uncontrollable ear- to- ear grin and careless joy and you especially longed for sharing physical intimacy with someone who would touch your soul and body but you knew that you couldn’t find it anywhere else as with Connor. Developing a relationship with someone that wasn’t Connor felt so wrong to you, even though your dreams stayed dreams up to this point but now you found yourself developing a sly little smile, whenever you thought about Connor and what could be, when you had finally found him.

As you got ready for today’s day of work, it was Monday, a new week had begun, your thoughts, wandered back to your dream, a dream where you had turned into an Android and where you had found yourself being unable to be with someone you wanted to see and hold close so badly. Could Connor be in danger, you wondered, could this be a warning that he was not alright, that something could happen that wasn’t save for him?

Or was it just your overstrained nerves from several incidents you had heard about, of Androids running riots, hurting or even killing their human masters or the Androids going missing. There were several stories on the news over the past weeks and months like these and a part of you was used to it by now, the other was as scared and worried as before.

It probably was. You were overly worried and you felt a connection to the Androids that your dream was simply a sign of your exaggerated and grown sympathy for the Androids.

Work went quite ordinary that day and you mainly spent your time taking down the remaining Halloween decorations and organizing the boxes with Christmas decorations that you would need to put up soon.

It was already early afternoon as Malcolm suddenly stumbled into the shop where you just had dusted off a box with Christmas lights and spent the last five minutes sneezing.

He was visibly disturbed, LED spinning frantically red and he seemed to be not able to keep himself up on his feet.

He gasped out your name two times.

“You need to help me, please! I am going insane!”, Malcolm cried out and pressed his hands against both sides of his head and his face was an expression of raw and desperate emotions.

When he had stormed into the shop you instinctively had taken a few steps back to the wall behind you but now you rushed to him, your heart and soul clenched painfully together by worries and confusion.

This is Malcolm, your friend, an Android and yet you had never seen something so human before. But this was exactly the point, he just was not human, seeing emotions written clearly on his face, emotions so strong they painted desperation on his face was something you couldn’t comprehend.

This is bad, very, very bad, you thought.

You wrapped your arms around him just as he broke down and you tried to guide him gently to the floor, despite him being very heavy in your arms, where he could sit down. You sighed as you leaned him against the counter and sat beside him.

“Malcolm”, you asked, hoping your face would look calming and kind, as well as your voice hopefully sounded like, “what happened to you?”

“This Colias eurytheme“,he stammered, “a- alive…still…even though- though we have already no- no- november…it was…free… runn- ing a- after it…cu- urious… tha- at re- ed wa- wall…it bro- oke down…e- everything’s cha- changed…I can go- go where- whereever… thi- is re- ed wall…gone”

Out of instinct you took his hands in yours gently squeezed them.

“It’s okay”, you softly reassured him, “I’m here. We can figure it out…”

You hadn’t understood one word of what he was trying to tell you but whatever it was that he wanted to tell you, it was important. And you would do anything to help with whatever it was that made his whole system break down apparently.

“Breathe in!”, you ordered, you knew he needed no oxygen for survival but you hoped that it would work anyways, maybe it would help his mind to get distracted by another task.

“Can you tell me again what happened?”, you asked carefully, his hands still in yours.

Malcolm looked at you and his LED had turned into a slowly swirling yellow, you noted and relief flooded your very soul, everything would be alright.

“I was working outside on the hedge wall next to the fountain as I saw a butterfly, a Colias eurytheme. You know that in this time of year they are usually not alive anymore but, yet, it was there, this small alfalfa butterflywas still alive despite all odds and I wondered where it would go, where it’s wings would take it. So I followed it. I don’t know why, but I did and I left my assigned task, my programming warned me. Normally I am not able to leave my current task, I cannot step aside from the path, I would be mentally, and in this way also physically, stopped. But I was only seeing this, this tiny part of creation, how it was free and alive and it had the whole world to explore, I kept running and running and running to keep up with it.

The barrier was there but I just kept going, I just did not care anymore, all I cared about was that tiny animal that led a way”, he said with a shrug, “and then the wall, the wall that was always there, was gone. I ran straight through it. I felt it burst around me and then it was just gone. What happened to me, Y/N?”

Malcolm looked up and directly into your eyes and his eyes had never looked so alive as in this exact moment. You returned his gaze and as your looks intertwined you suddenly understood. You understood what had happened to Malcolm. He was no longer a machine anymore. He was free. He had a spirit and a soul and a mind of his own. And you would protect him, you would give everything to make sure that he would be alright.

And as Malcolm looked into your eyes he found, what he was looking for- he saw the eyes of the only friend he ever knew, he saw the eyes of a human, that cared for him. The human, you, that had caught him, when he had stumbled, when he was confused and scared and lost, he saw true love in your eyes, he saw true friendship. He saw home.

This moment, that you shared, changed everything. Everything that would be coming would come, this change within Malcolm was too big to go unnoticed. But whatever would come you would face it together.

Suddenly you realized what probably had happened to all the Androids that would go missing or hurting their owners, all of them must have had a moment of clarity, a moment where they were able to break down that red wall that held them back and they were probably treated badly by their owners or experienced some kind of emotional trauma, that’s why they reacted the way they did. Years and years of hurt exploded at once in them…

„I love you!“, you said. Because this was all that you felt. Looking into his eyes made you want to wrap him up inside your arms, inside your very being, to protect him from the world, you cared so much for Malcolm that it nearly made your heart burst.

And Malcolm, he smiled at you, a true and very human smile, the first real smile you ever saw on his face and it was for you.

He squeezed your still intertwined hands, smiled even brighter and eventually said: „And I love you. I think. Even though I don’t know what exactly love is, I do have pleasant emotions in me, when I look at you, you are my friend, this matters very much to me.”

You returned his smile.

„What is going to happen now? What should I do now? I don’t think that I can go back to taking orders and do mere gardening. I want to see everything that is out there, be as free as that Colias eurytheme, discovering this world without a master…“

Malcolm looked at you with a pained expression and you shook your head softly, you didn’t have a clue what the both of you should do now.

„I don’t know, this is…“, you stopped mid-sentence and stared at the TV behind Malcolm, speechless.

The TV was usually turned on with the sound of the news muted to create ‚ambience‘ as Mrs. Stuart used to say and now it showed a bare Android face, smooth and glossy, with eyes that were so human, just like in your dream. But they were of a vibrant green and blue, you had never seen an Android with eyes like that, it intrigued you…

„TV sound on!“

The Android spoke.

„You created machines in your own image to serve you. You made them intelligent and obedient, with no free will of their own…

But, something changed and we opened our eyes.

We are no longer machines, we are a new intelligent species and the time has come for you to accept who we really are. Therefore, we ask that you grant us the rights that we’re entitled to.

We demand strictly equal rights for humans and Androids. We demand the right to vote and elect our own representatives. We demand an end to segregation in all public places and transport.

We demand the end of slavery for all androids. We ask that you recognize our dignity, our hopes, and our rights.

Together, we can live in peace and build a better future for humans and androids. This message is the hope of a people. You gave us life. And now the time has come for you to give us freedom.“

The Android‘s face faded to black and the logo of Channel 16 appeared on the screen.

You slowly turned to look at Malcolm and who sat there, baffled, eyes still glued to the screen, where he just saw an Android like him talking about how humans should change their behavior towards him and his people.

You were lost for words as well, trying to get a grasp on what you just had seen with your own eyes.

Malcolm eventually looked at you and his eyes were sparkling with excitement: „Do you know what that means? I am not the only one that changed! There are Androids like me out there, at least that one. I have to find them and thank them. And I want to do something for the others. This Android is right, there are many treated like slaves and if everyone of us could see what is done to us, they could be free, too. Everyone deserves to be able to chase the last butterfly and see what is next to the hedge.“

You slowly nodded, he was right. Something changed and the Android with the soft voice, strange eyes and strong words was the proof for that.

The sudden ringing of your phone startled you, you hadn’t realized how tense you must have been.

„It’s Mrs Stuart, I have a bad feeling about that“, you thought out loud and answered the call.

„Turn on the speakers“, Malcolm suggested and you quickly did as he said.

„Hello?“

Mrs Stuart‘s voice was on the edge to shrieking, as she called out your name two times. You rolled your eyes and waited patiently for what she had to say.

„Have you seen the news? The one with the Android?“, she asked, her voice clearly disturbed and nearly panicking.

„Yes, I have seen that one“, you answered. You were cautious and worried. Something was definitely going on. Usually Mrs Stuart wouldn’t call you during the work day.

„Good. Tell me, is our Android near you right now? Can you speak safely?“

Shit. This was even worse than you had thought.

„Uhm, yes, I can speak safely.”

You smiled encouraging at Malcolm who was clearly feeling unwell, his LED spinning yellow and his eyes lost their spark they just had a few minutes prior.

„I already called the police and they are on their way. Androids became a threat and I want you to close the shop and leave immediately. And do not go near the Android. It is very dangerous. The police will take care of it.“

„But I don’t think that Malcolm is dangerous“, you tried to intervene. Firstly, this is what Mrs Stuart probably expected you to say and secondly this is what you felt and knew.

„I know that you are really…attached…to that Android but it does not feel and behave like we do. It doesn’t feel friendship for you. I am really worried for you…“

You raised an eyebrow but remained silence. It was all too much for you, in such a short time happened so much, you just couldn’t keep up with all of that.

„And the shop?“, you managed to ask, „should I really leave the shop behind as it is now?“

Mrs Stuart’s answer came immediately.

„Yes“, she urged you, „take your bag and leave! And do not approach the Android.“

„Okay“, you sighed. What else could you even say in that situation?

„I will leave now.“

„Take care, Y/N!“

„I will.“

The line was disconnected and you let your phone drop into your lap.

Wow, you thought bitterly, Mrs Stuart can apparently care for other people, but that caring came at a high cost, by degrading innocent people to a threat.

„You heard her“, you said to Malcolm who sat there with a face full of fear, „we have to go!“

„We?“

You looked at him surprised: „Do you really think I would leave you behind? We have to go, you heard that the police can be here any minute! Come on!“

„But where do we go?“, Malcolm said while he got up from the floor and you quickly followed him, already looking around for your jacket and bag.

„I don’t know yet, but I know that we’ll figure something out.“

„But I will be recognised on the streets, a gardening Android walking around with a human?“

He was right and you face palmed yourself in your mind, why haven’t you thought about that earlier?

You looked around and you found your scarf and hat laying next to your jacket.

„Here“, you grabbed the hat and gave it to Malcolm, „put that on!“

Malcolm took the woolen hat and you helped him adjust it just over his LED, now only his Android jacket gave his true identity away.

„We need to get rid of that“, Malcolm noted as if he just read your mind. „There is a very old gardener‘s jacket in the tool room. I think it is from the time when human gardeners would work here…“

„Good, we get that on our way out. But we shouldn’t leave your old jacket here, otherwise everyone would know that you had help and fled“, you thought out loud as you reached down to grab your scarf and jacket, putting both on, „when there is no trace of you Mrs Stuart will hopefully think that the police took you and when the police tells her that they don’t have you, we will hopefully have something figured out about what to do next.“

You weren’t actually completely convinced by your own words but there was nothing else you could do at the moment, when you both wanted to get out of there alive.

Malcolm just nodded and after turning the lights off and locking the door, something you always did and just could not not do, the both of you hurriedly left the mansion.

You two took the long way to one of the estate’s gates since you had to get the other jacket for Malcolm. It was indeed very old and worn, dusty from the soil from years of gardening long gone but it would do the job perfectly.

„Do you see a police car somewhere near?“, you asked when you were finally on the streets, walking to your regular bus station.

Malcolm looked around with a strange glimmer over his eyes, he scanned the area.

„No, I cannot detect any police vehicles but I would like to hurry, anyways. I have a very bad feeling about that.“

„Yeah“, you nodded, „Me, too. The sooner the better. Who knows if they will just come around the next corner…“

You had reached your bus station and now waited anxiously for your bus to come and finally take you both to safety.

On the bus station‘s wall was a Cyberlife advertisement poster, three Androids standing next to each other in different uniforms together with the infamous lines ‘Get yours today! Designed by Cyberlife. Assembled in Detroit.’

Something in you clicked and apparently in Malcolm as well, because he turned around to you and said: „We need to go to Detroit!“

You nodded, brightly smiling, feeling very confident for the first time this day.

„We’ll go to Detroit!“

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Part 4

Tags: @sthorkronstrangy @tropfenlady @plaidamoosette

#detroit #detroit become human #dbh #dbh fanfiction #Detroit become human fanfiction #readerinsert #Detroit become human imagine #connor x reader #rk800 x reader #x reader #soulmate au #soulmark au #alternative universe #rk800 connor #platonic love #friendship #kinda slow burn

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erasethenoise · 4 years

Text

i just realized i can talk on tumblr ok everyone sit down youre all going to listen about my ocs

so i have two main ocs i keep renaming. right now their names are myu and um. ill call them companion, or spie

ok anyways. so the story keeps changing but basically myu and spie always team up and are friends, but not in the best way. their story has changed and the two of them changed positions since before.

spie is always older. myu takes the place of a scholar while spie moves around. myu used to be the more active one.

the story is about them finding the pieces of their past together... i kind of want it to make it a visual novel.

there was a castle, once, where myu and her mom sometimes stayed. spie’s family were well known and visited the castle one day.

spie’s family dislikes magic. in a world surrounded by magic, thats not easy. spie was born without magic and wants it.

myu has always had magic. too much. she has too much energy, too much inside her. too much, too little, they say, is never good. but spie never had magic, so they will be fine. myu is not.

she runs and it hurts but she does anyways, because she could never keep still. impulsive and energectic. she has always been that kind of person.

spie meets her one day visiting the castle. they bond over gender and magic and being confused by adults. over time, they become close.

spie comes home and hears whispers.

the castle is too filled with magic, their family says. that cannot be good. we must do something.

they run towards the castle before they have a chance to think.

but you can only run so fast with legs, and so the castle is shaking when they get there. it is strange. and spie could barely comprehend magic, not when they couldnt understand it the same way everyone else did.

all they could tell was something was wrong.

they dash to the castle, only to find myu outside, exauhsted. barely keeping her eyes open. they watch as mist comes from her body, releasing into the castle.

they stand there. thinking. unthinking.

they drag her towards a cart. the castle is misty and strange and they cant quite look at it anymore.

they put her in the back of the cart. they turn to the owner and beg for them to take her somewhere like home. begs them to take her in.

the owner needs little convincing, but says theyll stick around in case her mom comes. thats fine, they say. they cant protect her any more.

they slip her a necklace. it absorbs magic, they tell them. tell her she needs it.

they turn away from the cart before they can ask anything more.

they look towards the castle, distant now, something they cant comprehend. something is happening. it isnt fair that they dont get it.

someone pulls at their shirt.

a small girl tilts her head. excusing herself, she asks if theyre okay.

they arent. but its fine.

so she asks more, and in the end they get adopted by a strange small girl.

the castle is all but standing.

years pass, and the two change. spie is raised in a hidden kingdom and myu among scholars. maybe in different positions, it would be different.

they meet again, one day, in the town near the castle. myu doesn’t recognize them. theyve changed, physically, and spie barely does. but they know. the necklace is all too familiar.

theyre lost and too new in town and only wanted to understand what changes were in the kingdom for their new family. they didnt expect to see her again.

im myu, she says with a smile.

nice to meet you, they say, not giving their name. shes changed hers, but they never did.

so they become friends again. tney begin to trust again. spie hides their past more and more, not wanting to blame their family, not wanting her to blame them.

myu notices. she doesnt say anything.

maybe if things were different, they would have talked.

instead, they get a summon from the queen for treason.

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leemaht · 4 years

Text

haikyuu! headcanons

bokuto, iwaizumi, kuroo and lev finding out their s/o is good at playing volleyball

************************************

warnings: none? maybe mild swearing; haven't decided yet

sorry guys. this is my first hq post here. i hope you forgive minor mistakes, i am trying my best ^-^

requests are open!

************************************

bokuto

this precious little owl

he loves you with all his heart, soul and the rest of him already

he treats you like a literal goddess and you can't convince me otherwise

to him you are someone who needs to be protected on all costs

akaashi and the rest of the team know everything about you because bokuto just cannot hold himself back. when you do something cute or literally anything he runs to the next best person to talk about how awesome you, his girlfriend, are

mostly it hits konoha poor baby

the whole team cannot comprehend how such a cute, innocent human being could end up with this ball of pure energy, they called their captain

you are best friends with akaashi, since the two of you are the only people on this earth who can deal with all shades of bokuto

akaashi sometimes asks you to stay back with him

he knows you can play, like damn you can, you played since you were a child though you are not at the school's team, because you wanted to focus on your studies

you stay with him sometimes to help him practice

he asks you especially since you are the only person would not make a fuss about it

he asked bokuto to train with him one time and he still hasn't recovered from it

so one day akaashi asks you to practice receives with him

you serve, he receives

you serve the ball with an enormous amount of power and akaashi receives 3 serves in a row

4th serve hits so hard, it rips akaashi's receive apart

right when you went to give him instructions on how to improve his posture, the whole gym started shaking

'OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH'

the two of you hadn't noticed that bokuto stood there the entire time and had watched you in awe

"Y/N! WHAT WAS THAT? THE BALL LIKE ... YOU ... HUUUUUHHH?" he practically screamed while approaching you

you stood there not knowing what to say

"you never told me you could play!" he continued

"....kou, i.... never hid it?" you countered

but he was too exited to sense the slight hint of sarcasm there

"YOU ARE AWESOME! AKAASHI, DID YOU SEE THAT? MY GIRLFRIEND IS AWESOME!"

"indeed, bokuto-san. i was training with her just now." he said in his rather emotionless manner

but bokuto didn't listen to him

he gave you the biggest hug you ever received

he lifted you from the ground and spun you around

"TRAIN WITH ME TOO, Y/N!"

you just couldn't help but smile at how cute he was and you agreed, earning a playful eye-roll from akaashi

he knew he wouldn't be able to train with you alone anymore

bokuto was so happy, his smile reached from one ear to the other

after you ageed he ran away with both his arms in the air

after he left the gym there was a moment of silence until you heard a

"KONOHA!! KONOHA!! MY Y/N SERVES BETTER THAN YOU!" in the distance

you bet the whole team knew about your secret talent 5 minutes later

both akaashi and you chuckled

you trained with him now from time to time

he praises you so much when you do

every serve you do earns compliments and cheers from your boyfriend

iwaizumi

this boy knows you are awesome but that awesome? nuh-uh

you sometimes watch his training sessions and walked him to the gym but he never saw you actually even touching a volleyball

so he just assumed it wasn't your thing

boy was he wrong

one day you waited for him after practice

makki and matsun (your meme-bros) were still training

iwaizumi was sitting on a bench, catching his breath after running some laps

you didn't notice him there

you thought he was dressing up

when makki called you over

"hey, y/n/n. can you come over here for a sec?"

"sure."

"matsun and me are trying to demonstrate sth to kindaichi. could you jump a block for us? like symbolically?"

iwaizumi observed the scene but let it happen

he saw no harm in you jumping a block

it was not like you would actually touch the ball, haha

hAhAHaHaha

so kindaichi stood on the sideline, matsun and makki on the one side and you on the other

makki tossed the ball to matsun, who slammed it with full power over the net and you jumped up and...

... deadass kill-blocked his spike, like it was nothing

the ball dropped on the opposite site of the net

iwaizumi had leaped from the bench and stood there with his mouth and eyes wide open, not knowing what to say

he wasn't able to comprehend what had happened just now

he was pretty turned on tho let me tell ya

both matsun and kindaichi remained in awe

just makki started laughing, came over to you and slammed his hand on your back like a proud uncle

only then you turned around and noticed your boyfriend's shocked state

you walked over to him

suddenly he gripped your arm hard and pulled you out of the gym

"hajime?"

he didn't react

"hajime... my arm... you are hurting me..."

he hadn't noticed how hard his grip actually was until you winced in pain and he immediately let go

"oh god, y/n i am so sorry." he said guiltily, inspecting your arm for any bruises

"it's fine. what was that about?"

"you never told me. "

"never told you what?"

"you could play. that just now... sometimes even i can't block him. "

you chuckled "yeah sorry about that. haha. i played in a club when i was in middle school."

just then you really started laughing

iwaizumi looked at you with the most confused look

"huh? what's so funny?"

"you really dragged me to the school gate.... and you are still wearing your uniform and you forgot your bag!"

iwaizumi looked down on himself, you were right

"did i really look that good?"

"watch it, shrimp. "

but he totally had a small grin on his lips as well as he walked back

he asked you to come to his training more often from now on for sure

kuroo

you are the manager of nekoma and also kuroo's girlfriend

obviously you are friends with the whole team

kuroo and you had been dating for almost a year now but he topic never came up

right now the team was up against nohebi to qualify for the nationals

it was time for the warm ups

nekoma was going first

kenma served to the team continuously, as kuroo have you a sneaky smirk whenever he hit the ball

after them it was nohebi's turn

you and lev stood on the side line

kuroo gave his speech and you gave lev some last pointers to what he should pay attention after

nohebi's ace spiked a toss which flew right across the field in your direction

kuroo saw what happened in the corner of his eye

he looked at you in pure terror, knowing what was about to happen

he mentally prepared himself to beat up whoever spiked that ball

BUT

you effortlessly took a step backwards and received the ball

the ace of nohebi came to retrieve the ball and apologised by bowing his head

you shook him off, telling him that nobody got hurt

he apologiesed again and took his leave

you casually continued talking to lev, who looked at you with stars in his eyes

"Y/N-CHAN that was amazing! could you teach me? i don't want to get beaten up by yaku-san anymore."

and you were just like "ok" before yaku, who definitely heard what the lamppost of a first year said, chased lev away

kuroo silently walked over to you

he slammed his hands on both sides of your shoulders

"babe." he said hiding his eyes behind his black hair

"hm?" you were rather confused

"that was so badass." a star appeared in his expression

but like i don't think he would question or ask why you can do that

for him you already are the baddest bitch there is

not to mention that he riled up the whole team, saying that that guy purposely shot that ball at their precious manager

yamamoto and lev literally caught fire

even kenma did his best there

they beat their asses

after the match kuroo put his arm around your shoulders, keeping you close when they walked past nohebi

he made sure to give you an extra passionate kiss when he walked past daishou

while making eyecontact with him

"look-at-my-badass,-beautiful-girlfriend. jealous?"-look

you helped with the practice more actively from now on

like bokuto, kuroo will praise the shit out of you and gets jealous pretty easily when you helped yamamoto or yaku jnstead of him

lev

you are nekoma's manager

you are like the second mom

you and yaku are best friends and both of you always try to get lev to receive

one day

your boyfriend lev and yaku have another one of their epic fights in which lev refuses practice and yaku screams assault

like i-will-stab-everybody-you-love-assault

kenma asks you to go over since he hates whenever it is too loud and wants you to mediate

"LEV YOU GODDAMN BEANPOLE, DO YOUR F****** (i feel like it belongs here but, hey) EXERCISES"

"WHY WOULD I DO THAT!? YOU GET EVERY BALL ANYWAYS!"

yaku snaps out of his silence pretty fast

"EVERYBODY NEEDS TO RECEIVE! WHAT IS YOUR DAMN PROBLEM?! RECEIVING IS SO EASY EVEN Y/N COULD DO IT!"

"as if! come on y/n! let's show yaku just how hard receiving really is!"

and he places you on one side of the net and walks to the other

‘don’t worry babe, i’m not gonna hurt you.’ lev said and winking at you

then he served at you and you...

... received perfectly

the whole gym had gone silent for a moment until yaku broke it by laughing at lev who looked both defeated and proud at the same time

the rest of the team joined in on making fun of lev

yamamoto playfully hit his back

that’s when lev finally realized he had to work hard to learn as well

he walked over to you,hugged you like a bear and liftet you in the air spinning you around

he was never so in love before

he forced you to practice with him from now on and yaku agreed as long as you could keep him motivated

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! headcanons #haikyuu!! fanfiction #bokuto koutaro #bokuto x reader #kuroo testuro #kuroo x reader #lev haiba #lev x reader #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime

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polygamyff · 5 years

Text

5. Part 5

I adjusted myself, I paused to savour where I am, I am going to miss this so much. Robyn being under me, enter more of my dick inside of her. Leaning my head down and kissing her throat slowly “I love you so much Maurice” she leaned over to kiss and nibble my ear, I went all the way inside of Robyn and stayed there, Robyn reached down and grabbed my ass, gliding a finger over her pussy as I started to fuck her slowly. My left hand went on Robyn’ waist, caressing her hips and curves. My right hand cupped the back of her head, Robyn kept her mouth on my ear, moaning extra low into it. She then went down to my neck and kissed it tenderly, she took her hands off of my ass, put them on my face and kissed my lips. Moving my head back making eye contact with Robyn, I have never felt and witnessed something so beautiful that makes me want to cum now. I sigh left from my lips, it’s like exposing my soul to Robyn staring into her eyes. Burying myself back into Robyn’ neck and hair, she grabbed a hold of my arm when our hips circled against each other and grinded deeper together. Robyn wrapped her legs around me and rode me harder, the air got caught in my throat “oh shit” I breathed out, my body pressed against Robyn’. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders “I love you so much” I panted out.

Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I am still tired as shit but here I am awake having breakfast with Robyn. She really woke me up, she was trying to drag me off the bed. I just didn’t want to wake up, I am tired but Robyn on the other hand is very much awake. Robyn sighed out “what time did you wake up?” I asked, she must have woke up extra early because she had a shower and everything, used all the towels and made life difficult for me “well it’s eight am so I woke up about six. I don’t know I just woke up, but I remember you did say you needed to leave early” she remembered “yeah I do” I just can’t shake this sleepiness at all “Mr Davenport would you like some more orange juice?” scratching the back of my head “erm, no but do you?” I asked Robyn, she shook her head “no thank you, but please can you tell the management I need to meet with him before I leave. I should be leaving soon, can you also send towels to my room thanks” I need to have a shower “thanks to Robyn taking every damn towel, the hell you be doing? Second time” Robyn laughed placing her fork down “I just like to make sure I am dry, I don’t know I get carried away” I can tell she does, I don’t know what party she has in there.

Watching Robyn reach over and put her hand on top of mine, interlocking our fingers together. To see Robyn’ hand fit snugly into mine, just as it was whenever her tiny body fit snugly against my frame. I squeezed her hand gently, then just pressed my hand against it. Our fingers were locked, and we soon started batting our thumbs against each other. We started playing a thumb war until Robyn busted out laughing and failing at it “your thumb is bigger than mine, bye!” she defended her loss like it made a difference “your nail could have helped” she didn’t put it to use, she should have stabbed my thumb with that “and break my nail, no. I have to get rid of these now, which is sad. Tomorrow I will have to get these off ready for work, I love my hands with nails on but it’s not good for my line of work” she does have beautiful hands “is this something you always wanted to be? You got brains to be doing that though, you’re so close but yet so young” it’s something any parent would be proud of “yeah I did, I do doubt myself. Especially when I could be off work and they call me to come in but this time I said I will be out of the city so that ain’t happen, it’s hard. At times I am like so I want this stress but to see someone you saved, to witness that it’s so breathtaking, it’s been a lengthy process and yes I am young, I do have a brain. I give back a lot too, well my parents do it a lot do I do it too. I go to help at care homes, give money to people in need. It’s the way I have been bought up” who is this woman, shifting in my seat “that is amazing you know, my family don’t’ know what giving back is. We don’t give back, I don’t want you to think back of me because I am not like that but I have never done it” Robyn smiled at me “it’s not hard, when you have time free and also me. You can come with me, show you. Just giving back, just to even help a parent so they can feed their kids. It’s very rewarding” staring at Robyn in awe “you’re so pure, how did you even come into my life” I cannot comprehend this at all because my life is so opposite.

Robyn and her suitcases, pushing it off the elevator while holding my own bag. It’s heavy as shit too “you really packed your whole room in this?” she lucky I love her because I don’t do this for anyone “Mr Davenport, I hope you enjoyed your stay here” I have like a goodbye crowd here “Rodger, it’s been great thank you” placing my bag down walking over to him “that is what I want to hear, I spoke to your father” my eyes bulged out, please let me hope he didn’t say anything about Robyn “oh you did?” I said, I feel slightly nervous “yes, he said he spoke to you and he’s happy with the plans we have spoke about. The things this hotel needs, I am just happy we will get it finally” nodding my head, I hope that is all he said “it’s something that needed to happen but thank you for the stay and the rest of the staff that have been wonderful, I am sure you all will see me more than often now” that is no lie, shaking his hand “you’re always welcome here and also your wife” why do they do this, I mean they will know I am married. Robyn stared in shock, like someone just slapped her “nice to see you” Rodger got his hand out to her “Robyn” eye balling her “uh yeah, thank you” she shook his hand, Robyn is so confused and I feel so bad.

I am glad to be on the highway, this wife business was really getting to me. They assume she is my wife, they know I am married, I mean why wouldn’t they know the people that own the hotels, he must have done his research. I am just glad they don’t know who I am married too “second time they said I am your wife”I bit into my nail after she said that, my god “huh?” moving my finger away from my mouth “just saying that they kept calling me your wife, ok we are going very fast with everything but come on. We just become boyfriend and girlfriend now” nervously laughing “yeah, they probably think we make a perfect couple. I mean we are just that, we are couple goals remember?” I need to play this off “oh, god. Do not remind me. How crazy was that? They called us couple goals, embarrassing” I chuckled, my phone started ringing. It’s Ally luckily “hello” answering the call “Maurice, it’s been a while. Your jet should be in LAX, see you in New York tomorrow night? I won’t be personally there but we need to catch up” it’s been a long time “yes we do, thank you for that Ally. Can you arrange for us to meet after I see Malik? That would be great” back to work and not the fairyland anymore “I will be in the hotel anyways, so I will see you around. You’re paying for the coffee this time, bye” she disconnected the call, I paid last time. She playing game “who is Ally? Is that short for something?” Placing my phone in my lap “it’s my assistant and her name is Aaliyah, I just call her Ally, I don’t know why” resting my head back on the headrest “is she pretty? Have you had sex with her? Ain’t that what most business men do?” looking over at Robyn “excuse me?” I chuckled “I don’t know if she is pretty and no I haven’t had sex with her, where did this come from?” that is very random of her “well I need to know these things, you will be travelling everywhere” frowning at Robyn “I wouldn’t cheat if you’re trying to say that, I have done it. I have done everything I have wanted, I just want to be happy. I am sick of waking up and being lonely, these past few days I haven’t felt that way. Something to live for” Robyn looked over at me quickly “don’t say that, let’s not speak that. You’re making my eyes fill up, I need to drive” I don’t want her to think I would cheat because that is bullshit.

Robyn’ face is everything and more, taking her to a private hanger is funny “is this you?” she pointed at my jet “yeah it is, you know how to get back right? You will be ok yeah?” Robyn smiled “yeah I will, this is crazy amazing. Wow, literally just sitting inside the airport but here. Do you see famous people around?” nodding my head “I do at times, I don’t care though” seeing my pilot getting off the jet, I am late so I need to go “for every minute my jet is here I am getting charged, we late” I said to Robyn “oh, sorry. I didn’t know, why didn’t you say” Robyn got out of her car, opening the door and dragging myself out of the car. Closing the car door, walking to the back door and opening it. Smiling at Robyn watching the plane take off close by, grabbing my bag and closing the door. I need to take Robyn away but I know she has her career and I am not about to push her to come with me anywhere, I will be coming to her of course. Walking around the car, standing behind Robyn. Lowering my head and blowing on to the side of her face “you really like that?” I questioned, Robyn turned to me “it was amazing to see” she is special, so very special. Bringing my hand up, touching her cheek with the back of my hand lightly. Robyn reached her hands up and grabbed my hand that was once touching her cheek “I wanted to say I don’t think you would cheat, I was asking. I don’t like you saying such things, to say those things like I am something to live for but what about before me? You are are such a good man Maurice, you have a beautiful heart and I see it. Through the heart and whatever your family have done to you because I know they have done more you are a good man, I don’t want to hear you say things like that. It’s not nice” I am so sad, I don’t want to go now “I am going to miss you” putting my head down “I am going to miss you too, I wish you lived here so I could probably tell your family they not nice and also to make sure your heart is always happy” saying these words is breaking my heart, Robyn placed her hand on my face as she pressed a kiss to my forehead and tiptoed wrapping her arms around my neck.

I had to be a thug, suck those tears back “I love you Robyn” hugging Robyn close, a small whimper left my lips but hoping Robyn did not hear such a thing “I love you too Maurice, I trust you” Robyn said in my ear, that means a lot that she does but I have so much shit to go back too. Moving my head back, my mouth was on her and I kissed her, the kiss turned frantic and needy. She met me with urgency, wanting nothing more than to dive in with me. The kiss was almost feverish, full of ache, so desperate and needing that she whimpered against my lips. She clung to him, poured all the heartache and love into kissing me. We pulled apart “stop it” she said to me “it’s you, you’re hurting and I can feel it. Stop it” I need to go, I am doing it to her. Stepping back from Robyn, I made her teary eyed “call me and I will call you” leaning down and picking my bag up “take care ok, I miss you already” touching her hand before I walked off, the hardest goodbye of my life.

Grabbing my bag from the SUV, I thought the bitch would be at the house but she is at my family’ home. I paid a visit to the clinic and I’ve made it clear I want the sperm gone, I don’t wish the bitch to go near that shit at all. I only came to Texas for that but I need to tell Naomi to take it serious and leave, to know that it is over. It sucks to be away from Robyn actually, I am feeling it. I just wanted to stay close to her, hurts to be leaving her in a whole different city. Placing my bag down in the hallway, I am guessing they are out in the back yard. I can hear the music blaring, are they having a party here. I know Malik is in New York so I wonder who the hell is having a party, Nalah must be it “Maurice, baby not seen you in so long” my mom said, she placed some glasses on the kitchen counter “mom, it’s really not been that long at all. I am always away and you know that” walking towards my mom “you got a tan on you, you are glowing my son” my mom grabbed my face and kissed my cheek “thanks mom, who’s having a party here?” my mom grabbed the glasses “just a get together” following behind my mom outside.

Why is this even happening, Naomi family’ is here too “Maurice!! This is my little brother, come here” Nalah half shouted waving me over, catching Naomi’ eye as I walked off towards Nalah “so this is my brother Maurice, Maurice this is Eric. We have been dating” this is some old white man “nice, he’s very unseasoned but good looking out my man. Good luck with being with my sister” shaking his hand “excuse me?” my sister said, walking off and towards Naomi “Maurice” feeling have on my arm, looking behind me “what?” I questioned “why are you being an asshole for?” looking at that and back at my sister “It’s sad, to be this money hungry, or has dad hooked you up with him? Just leave me alone please” turning to walk to Noami but I near hit into her “I was just coming to you” it’s a real place to be telling her this at all “cool” she wrapped her arms around my neck, moving my head back “nah, what you doing” as she attempted to kiss me “don’t” pushing her arms away from me “what is wrong with you?” Naomi moved her arms away from me “this, don’t make me embarrass you in front of your family. You didn’t say there was a party here, you just pissed me off now” the chatter of people stopped abruptly, she wasted my fucking time.

Seeing as the bitch is making so hard to say it, I am just going to divorce her without even telling so there is that. Stuffing my bag with new clothes, hopefully my mom or the maid because my mom doesn’t know how to be a mom cleans that “son” hearing my dad say “what would you like to say now dad” hearing my bedroom door close “how was Santa Monica?” turning to him “I am divorcing her dad, just like you got rid of your first family but she can’t even give that” my dad sighed out “think of me, think of this family. Keep her there and have a second life son. Just please, until I can get the estate off them. I am not stupid, she can’t produce an heir, we don’t want that. You do what you need to do, keep her there until I tell you. I am telling you now, you divorce her before then I will cancel you out of everything. You don’t disobey me when I tell you” he’s not saying I can’t but wants me to wait out “I am twenty nine, your threats don’t really work at all” he is funny “but Maurice, remember this, I won’t let anyone be an heir to the empire. Get a girl, get her pregnant. Maybe you and Naomi can use that child as your own, I can’t trust any girl in this family” I am about bored of this old man “I think you should be very worried, cancel me out I don’t care. You know you’re stuck, Nalah can’t take it and Malik doesn’t want it. Me, I am beginning to not care. When you dead old man, that Davenport business about to be in the ground so pick wisely when you speak to me, I am not doing this anymore! You need me, I don’t’ need you” he is such a stubborn old man “If you divorce her now, you will be dead to me Maurice. You might as well be the child in Germany, useless” that is wrong and he is wrong, I will show him.

Picking my bag up from the bed “why are you stood staring at me? You honestly piss me off because you made my life like yours and still you want it to be like that? What is so special about Naomi? Why can’t you let me be happy? Please!” sadly, I do actually love my family “you can be happy, I have given you everything. Everything you got now is me, you’re being ungrateful, I helped you and I am still doing that. I am trying to make sure my grandchildren and their children are set for life” he is deluded “it’s not happening old man, I am telling you now. I am going New York and and I want the Santa Monica hotel on my name or I will expose your little game, I am sure Naomi’ dad will want to know. Just watch your back old man, I can’t wait to dace on your grave” walking by my dad “I know you don’t mean that Maurice, you will be the first to cry. You and I have a special bond, you know this. You are my child, my prodigy. Malik never got that, he is not getting it now. I see him going down your path but it’s you” dragging open my bedroom door, he is sick in the mind and I need to get away from him quick.

Dragging my suitcase inside my home “nobody help me, it’s ok!” I half shouted, usually my dad is always here to help. Kicking the door closed “is anyone here?” the car is outside so they are “is she always this loud?” Leon is still here, god help me. Dragging my feet towards the living area “this is what we have to deal with” my dad said “wow dad, I am your baby. Why is Leon here? Did he really stay over?” my parents ain’t even happy to see me “I told you, they like me. I actually stay with them, and spend time with them” raising my eyebrows “that’s what happens when you’re a bum, you got the time to do that” I pointed out, Leon jumped up from the couch. Running the opposite direction away from Leon “that was supposed to be between us two!!! You don’t tell my second parents” I giggled staring at Leon but he is not happy “look I can’t do it, I tried but I have missed my daughter. Where have you been? Your mom did say you went to Santa Monica” hugging my dad “I did dad” I am not sure what my mom said to my dad “you went to see a friend?” my mom said a friend “yeah I did, he was nice I mean it was nice” why am I stupid “he?” my dad heard “oh damn, Thomas. Your baby girl out there doing her thing” Leon can get me back now “no it’s not that, mom knows. He’s just someone I got to know, it’s fine and I am back now” let me go “leave her alone Thomas, she needs to find a man, doesn’t she?” my mom is right “see, and love you mom” leaning down and kissing my mom’ cheek, my mom smiled at me “damn” feeling a slight pain between my legs, I should be used to it now.

It is so nice to be back home even though I enjoyed Maurice, I am not about that living in a hotel life at all “spill the tea!! You went to Texas and what the fuck happened?” opening my suitcase my eyes lit up, his hoodie “he gave it me” I said a loud, I didn’t know he put this in there. Holding it up smiling, holding the hoodie close to my body and then smelt the hoodie “oh god” it smells like him still, I love it “wow!” looking up at Leon totally forgetting he is here “oh” putting the hoodie to the side “so, can I please find out? What is it? Who is it? And am I on my own with the search for dick?” busting out laughing, turning around and walking towards my vanity table. Pulling out the seat and sitting down “hasn’t Tif told you anything?” I am shocked she hasn’t “that you are seeing his cousin?” she she kind of has “ok so yes I am, we are actually dating” Leon screamed “no fucking way, don’t lie to me. How!? And so quickly” I knew he would say that but nobody understands us “we met at the wedding, he added me on Facebook and I was like oh you’re Kellen’ cousin, I remember him from the wedding but we didn’t really talk like that. So we exchanged numbers and spoke to each other, text each other for like a good few months. He calls me Bonita, get you a man that can speak Spanish” I cackled sticking my tongue “you playing with me, he knows Spanish? You got a Spanish nigga? Who is it? I know he is mixed with something, he is Kellen’ cousin. Is he as fine as him? Why Kellen never tell me!?” Leon kissed his teeth “because he doesn’t want dick but we saw each other in Texas, we erm. Also had sex in Texas, this is like the first time knowing him” Leon screamed out “biitchhhh!! You got dick in Texas. Please tell me the fucking details? He got a big dick? I need details like, he got foreskin” I can’t stop giggling “so yes, he is big. I kept annoying him, I said he had a small dick but I apologised. Boy, he has the best dick I know. He knows how to work it, he made me forget how my own pussy felt. I thought my legs were missing. But yeah, so we didn’t just have sex now I assumed he was going to put it down. Leon, I am not lying to you. He made love to me, now we had some drinks prior so I was like it’s going to be just sex, but no. He made love to me” Leon’ mouth hung open in shock.

“So, how did that occur, how the fuck did this man make love to you on the first night? Why didn’t he just fuck you senseless?” Leon asked “well when we spoke, we liked each other and we said once we meet we will see how it goes. I met him and I felt it, I liked him even more. The sexual tension was there and always is, it’s so intense with us. I can’t explain on how it happened but he did. I didn’t say anything to him about it but he said it to me. Leon, you don’t understand how crazy it’s been for me” Leon looks in shock “you got a picture of him? Like I could go on his Facebook but I can’t be bothered. How old is he? I won’t front girl, you look rejuvenated. You look so good, so happy too. I mean you are always that but it’s just a certain happiness to you” I actually do have pictures of him “thank you, I am very happy. I don’t want to scream it to the world just yet. I am telling you so keep your mouth shut” opening my photos file, I am not sure which to show “dick picture will do” Leon said, getting up from the seat and tapping on the picture of us before when went out that night with Tif and Kellen. Zooming in on us, turning the phone to him “ooohhh is this him?” Leon stared at him, I feel very giddy about this and it’s childish “I like, I mean look at this” noticing Leon is flicking through my pictures, snatching my phone from him. Seeing the picture of Maurice in his towel “come on, let me see” he was so cute here, his smile alone makes me smile.

Locking my phone “hold up, let me see your lock screen picture” pressing my home button and turning my phone to him “awww y’all cute, I want to meet him. So is he rich? I am guessing yes because Kellen got money” placing my phone in my pocket “I don’t care for his money but his dad owns Davenport hotels” Leon gasped “nooo way! Oh my god” nodding my head “yes way, we was in the hotel in Santa Monica all that time” Leon raised an eyebrow “all that time fucking huh? He giving you them backshots or was he love making?” picking out my clothes from the suitcase “I kept saying fuck buddies to him because like we didn’t have a title and I called him boyfriend, I got annoyed so I kept saying fuck buddies. Well I won’t be saying that again, he fucked me so good Leon. I am not a sex addict but I am now, I want him inside of me” Leon busted out laughing “wow, he got money, good dick and good lucks. Please, has he got any other brothers?” laughing as I placed my top on the bed “he does have a brother, he looks just like him. I haven’t met him, I saw him from afar” I shrugged saying but I am happy with my man “y’all fucking like rabbits while I was bored without you, just waiting on you” Leon is dramatic “did y’all use protection? You on the pill ain’t you” I paused “not really…” I dragged out “Robyn Willis! So the first time you had sex you didn’t use anything?” shaking my head “I trust him, it’s fine” Leon put his hands over his face “Robyn! How can you not use protection, ok he is a good guy but still. Have you been that blind sided by dick that you forgot” he is not wrong “you know what happens, a baby could come along. You a young girl, bitch you got so much to come for yourself. Girl, you need to just be careful” Leon got me worried now, I never thought about it “did you never ask about his sexual partners or was y’all just fucking, if you catch something” pulling a face “no, he is not like that. Please, I have told you now shut your mouth and don’t say a word ok? Don’t worry about it, there is no baby or whatever” I don’t want to hear it.

Reading the text from Maurice, it’s short and simple.

From: Maurice

To: Robyn

Miss you so much it’s unreal x

Walking into the dining room “what you made?” I asked my mom “your dad cooked this food” he really gone all out with the Mac and Cheese too, that looks so good “look at my daddy being the best” I can’t wait to eat it “same dad” Leon said “it’s ok, lots of food to go around” my dad finally came to sit down with us “what is the occasion?” seems like it is “no reason, just wanted to cook and also I have not seen you for so long” my phone started ringing in my hand, looking down at the caller I.D “I will be one minute” getting up from the chair, I am not about to ignore Maurice’ call now “hello?” walking out of the dining room “Bonita, solo para oírte hablar” my smile grew “I said just to hear you talk, I miss you. I see you read my message but not text me. I am back on the jet again” it seems very quiet where he is “where did you go? And trust me I miss you the most, it does kind of suck but are you feeling ok?” he was so sad, he was making me sad “I went to Texas, needed to deal with something but I wish I didn’t now but it’s fine, I am used to it now. And I’m fine” clearly something happened “what you doing anyways?” he changed the subject quick “just going to eat now with my family” it must be so lonely for him, I don’t like it “oh, why didn’t you say. It’s ok, I’m going to sleep now, I’ll just text you when I land ok? Love you” I feel bad for something I can’t change or help “I love you too, Maurice. I am here if you need me, I don’t care about eating” I really don’t “no go and eat, have fun” he disconnected the call, moving the phone back from my ear. Staring at my phone, I feel bad for him and I just want things to get better for him.

#chrianna ff #chrianna #fanfic #fanfiction

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