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moonlit-imagines · 1 month

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Headcanons for being the forgetful Avenger

Avengers x reader

warnings:

a/n: it not too long i so sorry

prompt: @glitchy-bean: “Hi!!! I hope you're doing good!!! Could I request smth with a really forgetful reader + the avengers gang? More like found family than anything romantic at all with a teen reader if that's okay!!!”

“well sorry” -you, consistently “i cant remember everything”

“you can’t remember anything” -nat

“yeah, y/n, were you dropped on the head as a baby or something?” -tony

“cut it out, guys. it’s not their fault they forgot thor’s birthday. besides, hes had a couple thousand” -steve

“are you calling me old, captain?” -thor

“at least im not the only one” -steve

it wasn’t just birthdays you forgot

much much more serious than that

rendezvous points, mission details, plans of attack, perp descriptions, where you put your keys, where you put your gun

you name it you forgot it

i mean—not always, but enough for it to be the running joke

“keep your comms on, y/n. not having a disaster like last time when you couldn’t remember whether to cut the red wire or green wire” -tony

“you wish i cut the wrong one” -you

“uh, no, that’s very harsh. i moreso wished you didn’t scare us half to death by nearly digging your grave” -tony

“oh ok i forgot” -you

“who left their macaroni and cheese in the microwave?” -vision

“damn! its cold. and crusted a little. how long did i leave this in here?” -you, poking your tray with a fork “and why are you using the microwave? you dont eat”

“this is a shared space, is it not?” -vision

“he’s got you there” -steve

“you’re just ganging up on me because you’re all miserable and you want me to be miserable too. i’m going to drive one of tony’s expensive cars now, you can’t stop me” -you, storming out

you walked right back in

“what’d you forget?” -steve

“wallet, phone, keys” -you

tony noticed

“where is y/n going with my car?” -tony

“not sure, just out” -steve

“probably gonna forget their turn signal and crash into someone’s car” -tony

as far as missions went, though, you were a bit of a powerhouse so you didn’t really need to be looked after on that front…just had to make sure not to blow anyone else’s cover

“hey, what’s the codeword again?” -you

“check your wrist, kid” -nat

“oh, right…okay thanks” -you

“*gasp* was i supposed to give the signal? i just kinda went in” -you

“ok, who told y/n they could give the signal. speak up now” -tony

*clint loudly snickering over comms*

kinda forgetting what you’re talking about in the middle of sentences sometimes but like, just glitching out

“something smells like it’s burning” -you “my cookies…”

you forgot to set a timer

and forgot you were making cookies

the avengers honestly did find it endearing

just a hyper kid who cant get their thoughts in a solid line

but they’d continue making jabs at you constantly

“maybe wanda can fix your memory problems” -tony

“i will not” -wanda

“oh well nevermind then” -tony

honestly with all your forgetfulness, you worried as you dusted away if anyone would forget about you

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @locke-writes // @sweetheartlizzie07 // @queen-destenie // @johnmurphyisqueer // @captainshazamerica // @ravenmoore14 // @canarypoint // @procrastinatingsapphictrash // @swanimagines // @randomfandomimagine // @petersgroupie // @summersimmerus // @scarthefangirl // @bad4amficideas // @sheridans-dynamos // @simsrecs // @prettysbliss // @skdkdkckfk // @simp-legend // @wild-rose-35 // @nekoannie-chan // @evilcr0ne // @v0idl1nq // @ruvaakke // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @amirahiddleston // @beth-gallagher22 // @brutal-out-here // @rqmanoff // @elenavampire21 // @mymelodymia // @pheonixfire777 // @deanzboyfriend //

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stars-and-the-min · 1 month

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☆ the wrong way to hard launch (1) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n hello, this is called welcome to part 1 of a fic no one will read :) also i have a taglist now (yay?) so shoot me a reply if ur interested in being added <3

masterlist | prologue | part 1 | next part

TWITTER

lina !!! @EB_selina · 2h omg my f1wags debut??? y'all i've really made it 🫶

EB BAR @theemptybottlesbar · 2h us when our frontwoman decides to hard launch her relationship that we were scrambling to denounce: 🙂🔪🩷 ↳ camilina gfs fr @ drummergf · 1h the EB Bar admin working overtime bc lina insists on stoking the flames of this ridiculous rumour ↳ lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 1h media literacy where? this is a fucking confirmation bestie

INSTAGRAM

selinabui

liked by oscarpiastri and 103,273 others

selinabui me when i lie to myself and go date yet ANOTHER athlete 🤠👍 this one goes vroom vroom in expensive cars (p.s. dear news sites, pls stop using my old photos)

cameliazzz all that expensive media training chucked down the drain i see

eb_jonno the orange jumpscare holy shit lina it's like u hate him or smth ↳ selinabui @eb_jonno wdym he's very cute 🫶

landonorris Oh hello there ↳ oscarpiastri @ landonorris 😀 ↳ mclarwins @ landonorris OMFG LANDO WHAT ↳ selinabui @ landonorris bro why are you acting like we've never met or smth ↳ pi4str1 @ selinabui there's something about her that's so 😭

TWITTER

🕯️manifesting EB3 🕯️@ linabelles · 5h ok i fear we need to start weighing up the pros and cons ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 5h pros: WE'RE FREE FROM AMERICANS, he's actually cute, we already follow f1 bc of guanyu, he's aussie <3 cons: white, he's another fucking athlete, orange ↳ 🕯️manifesting EB3 🕯️@ linabelles · 4h 'free from americans' SO TRUE we were in the trenches with t*mmy

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 3h everything i find about this girl is just 😬 ↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 3h oscar, get the FUCK away from that girl ↳ clovie @ luvyouvie · 2h omg why, what's up with her?? ↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 3h kinda the classic rockstar shit and her ex is tommy howard (nfl running back)

liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 18h SELINA WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS??? WHERE DID THIS ENERGY GO 😭😭😭

↳ emme @flowersforcami · 18h as smo with a footballer ex, the comment on massive egos is so true T_T

↳ Ryan Forrest @ryanforrest93 · 17h Every time that interview pops up on my TL, I just get reminded of how YOUNG she was going through all of that nonsense. She was barely 20 and totally being gaslit by that arsehole. ↳ liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 17h ^^THIS!! yes!! it was crazy that ppl gave her so much shit about staying with tommy even after the cheating but it was her first real relationship and it fucked her up massively

INSTAGRAM

zhouguanyu24 Margaret Court Arena

liked by selinabui, oscarpiastri and 59,283 others

zhouguanyu24 Went to go check on the baby sister 💪

selinabui my personal photographer fr (good luck tmr 💚)

emptybottlesbar Always stoked to have family stop by for a listen! Best of luck on the track 💪 ↳ selinabui @emptybottlesbar he doesn't need luck. he needs his team to fix the pit stop problem. he needs divine intervention

zhouguanyu_br piastri is dating zhou's sister?? ↳ jemma.wren @zhouguanyu_br cousin actually, in chinese culture they refer to paternal cousins as just siblings

stakef1team Looking forward to seeing Lina in the garage ↳ selinabui @stakef1team oh lmao that's not happening 🥰 ↳ pastry81 @ selinabui IJBOL she said you ain't SHIT see you in the papaya garage

cameliazzz thanks for dropping by on ur race weekend <3 hope it was worth your while (and family-friendly 🤫) ↳ zhouguanyu24 @ cameliazzz Thank you for keeping her alive ↳ selinabui @ cameliazzz why has it taken you over 20 minutes to go get pizza 🤡 ↳ cameliazzz @ selinabui why are you asking in ur cousin's comments 🤡🤡🤡 (they need to cooka da pizza)

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

TWITTER

emme @flowersforcami · 34m walk with me here... if zhou went to friday's show, do you think oscar did as well? and if so... did they just watch empty bottles' almost 2 hours set of lina and kas flirting 😭 ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 22m i literally can't think of anything else now :) do you know what the encore song was? ↳ emme @flowersforcami · 21m kaslina duet of we don't talk anymore (og by charlie puth) ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 20m oh how do we even defend them

EB BAR @theemptybottlesbar · 1h whole team in shambles... @EB_selina we hope it was worth it

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 1h every linami realising they need to defend her stage persona to piastri fans... ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 1h WE SWEAR ON OUR HONOUR THAT THIS GIRL IS A TOTAL LOOOOOSER. SHE'S NOTHING LIKE WHAT THE MEDIA WRITES HER AS. HER ONE HOBBY IS SUDOKU. SHES A COMPLETE DOORMAT 😭😭 ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 1h ok well, hang on... i think they get the point

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 5h after a literal night of deep-diving, i take back everything i've ever said about selina bui bc she's such a cutie honestly i get it, i kinda want her now

INSTAGRAM

oscarpiastri

liked by cameliazzz and 113,292 others

oscarpiastri Finally got the green light to 'hard launch'

selinabui sorry i needed to be vetted so hard :/

logansargeant Oh so we're keeping secrets from each other now #fakefriend ↳ oscarpiastri @ logansargeant Sorry, did i forget the bit when you were there when we met or something 🙂

2cami4lina oh she let him in the studio, we're fucking done for

ausgp Some extra Aussie luck for the home race ↳ pi4str1 @ ausgp she's australian??? ↳ emptybottlos @pi4str1 do a simple google search first - the whole band is australian 🤡 they all grew up in sydney

piastri_lina but wait, the way i lowk manifested this... ↳ emptyb-aid @piastri_lina lock ur doors i fear i'm coming for you

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife

#f1 #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x oc #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri smau #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 smau #f1 fic #f1 smau #f1 imagine #f1 social media au

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cameronspecial · 7 months

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hi hi hi i saw ur requests were open, no pressure ofc just wondering if u could do smth like rafe (established bf) giving reader the silent treatment for like weeks and shes so confused because she doesnt know what the hell she did to piss him off so she decides to confront him about it and just angst -> fluff yk??

also i literally love you and your fics so much u dont understandddd <3333

Miscommunicated Silence

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Sex in The Beginning.

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.9K

A/N: You are literally the sweetest. You made my day and I love you too, anonymous. I know Rafe isn't pissed at her, but I can't imagine Rafe being mad at Y/N for any reason because he gives me such she can do no wrong vibes like how he is with Ward.

Masterlist

Rafe’s head throws back in pleasure as his dick spews his hot seeds into the condom. His arms grip Y/N to him as they both come down from their high. She carefully lifts herself from him and goes to get some clean clothes from his drawers. “Where are you going?” Rafe questions, expecting her to stay the night. She comes over to give him a peck on the lips, “I want to stay, Rafey. But I have an early meeting tomorrow morning and my house is closer to work than yours. Plus, we both know that if I stay here, I’m going to run late because of that tongue of yours. Bye, I love you.” “I love you too. Drive safe, Baby,” he calls out, watching her leave with a soft look.

———

Y/N has been trying to text Rafe all week but he hasn’t been answering her at all. Every time she sees him in public, he somehow doesn’t see or hear her and then disappears when she gets close enough to him. She tries meeting him at Tannyhill, yet he is never there according to his various family members. She would be more worried if she didn’t know that he is ignoring her. His text receipts, only on for her, shows that he is reading them. In all their years of dating, Rafe has never gone more than twenty-four hours without talking to her. So she isn’t sure what she could’ve done for him to give her the silent treatment for a week. It couldn’t be because she had to leave after sex last week because it wasn’t the first time one of them decided to sleep at home after sex because it was easier for them the next morning.

Her anger towards the way he is icing her out finally over takes her and so she’s had enough. “Y/N, Rafe isn’t home,” Wheezie tries to argue, but Y/N knows it is not true. His truck and his bike are in the driveway and she knows Kelce and Topper are playing golf without him, so he couldn’t have been driven somewhere by them. Y/N gently nudges her way inside, “I know that isn’t true Wheez, I need to talk to him.” Wheezie doesn’t stop her as she runs up the stairs toward his room. She throws his door open with a slam to find him shirtless on his bed, scrolling through his phone. His annoyance flashes through him as he looks up to yell at the person. He freezes at the sight of his angry girlfriend. “I don’t know what I did, but we are never going to fix anything if you keep ignoring me,” she yells, placing her hands on her hips. She waits for a response and her anger grows to fury when he doesn’t answer. She violently shakes her head, “Are you really going to continue this childish game?”

She stares at him and he can only return the stare with a hint of pleading she isn’t sure what to make out of it. “You know what? If this is how you deal with your problems, then maybe we shouldn’t be together,” she spins on her heels, storming toward the door. With her back to him, she doesn’t see the tears and panic cross his face. He rushes forward, wrapping his hand around her wrist. It is gentle enough that she can break from his hold, but as she turns to yell at him, she can see the pain in his eyes. This causes her to worry. If he is willing to show emotion to her at this moment and still not say something, then something must be wrong. His mouth opens, “P-Please don’t go.” The words that come out are so low and raspy that she wants to get him to a doctor immediately to check on him. “What’s wrong with your voice?” she worries, placing her hands on his cheeks. He holds his finger up and goes to get a notepad and pen from his desk.

It takes him a second to write on the notepad before he hands the pad to her. I lost my voice this week. “Why didn’t you tell me? Or at least answer my texts. You don’t need to talk to do that,” she questions, giving him the pad back so he can respond. I was embarrassed about why I lost my voice. And texting always leads to phone calls with you. You know just talking to you isn’t enough, I love hearing your voice. “How did you lose your voice?” He gives her a sheepish look and then writes the answer down. I think I lost it when we had sex last week. I must have been too loud. She giggles at his words, looking up to see him looking away. “Aww, Rafey. Don’t be embarrassed. I think that’s hot. I love it when you are loud for me. It lets me know that I am making you feel good,” she explains, wrapping her arms around his neck. He brings his head to her neck and gives it a kiss. She plays with his hair to help stop his tears from spilling. He pulls away from her and writes something down. I’m sorry I ignored you, but please don’t break up with me. Y/N gives him a soft look and then a kiss on the lips. “It’s okay, Rafey. I forgive you.”

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mamasbakeria · 7 months

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hey, what's your major again?

summary: my credible expert opinion on what the aot characters would study in university. what are my qualifications? the dozens of hours i’ve spent staring at my school’s program bulletin trying to figure out what i’m majoring in

genre | includes: headcanons, sfw, minor language, uninformed percy jackson reference (pls don't hate me if im wrong)

characters: eren jaeger, mikasa ackerman, armin arlert, sasha braus, jean kirschtein, connie springer, historia reiss, ymir, reiner braun, annie leonhardt

author’s note: had this in my drafts for months now. i just need to post it so it stops haunting me. might do the rest of the marleyans and vets in the future! lmk your thoughts, my only tumblr notifications are from p*rn bots, so i'd love to hear from real people lol. enjoy <3

eren: sociology and public policy, 4+1 program for a social work masters

there’s only so many times you can hear “you’re gonna be a doctor just like your dad” before you start to believe it. that’s why eren started out with biology on the premed track. the thing is, he really didn’t care for it. eren is really passionate about lessening equity gaps and is a firm believer in “if you want something done right, do it yourself”. this is why i see him making the switch to a double major in public policy and sociology. he wants to know about how society got to the point of perpetuating disparities so that he can fix them. but he also knows that the government fucking sucks and thinks its naive to expect policy change to be the only method of change. and like the maniac he is, eren is enrolled in a 4+1 program so he can get his master’s in social work when he’s done with his undergrad. he’s determined to graduate with both degrees in just 4 years though. rip his summers.

armin: international relations and military ethics, minor in communications or smth

everyone always says armin would study marine biology or oceanographic studies, but i honestly think that it’s a passion that he pursues on the side. he takes marine bio courses for his breadth requirements, but knows he’d end up hating the ocean if he spent the rest of his life studying it. he also strikes me as someone who would rather run buck naked into traffic than sit through multiple semesters of organic chemistry. armin was always a good public speaker, though, despite being a bit insecure. that’s why his speech and debate teacher during sophomore year of high school recommended model united nations to him. he was hooked after his first conference and now genuinely sees the path of international diplomacy as his calling. that’s why he’s majoring in international relations. his concentration in military ethics is something he tacks on in his junior year after taking some courses and publishing research with dr. erwin smith. he probably minors in communications because he can.

mikasa: forensic science

mikasa had no idea what she wanted to do when she started uni. she’s good at nearly everything. like never gotten a B in her life and is the student who the curve is based off of. but excelling in every environment you’re put in often means you don’t know what you’re best at. she knew deep down that she wanted to do something justice related like her childhood best friends did, but she’s no public speaker and has no interest in political reform. she was, however, emo in high school and heard a fair share of undertaker jokes at her expense. it wouldn’t hurt to look into right? as cool as the title sounds, morticians don’t make enough money for the job they have. fortunately enough, forensic pathologists do and mikasa looks good in a lab coat. she would never admit it to spare armin and eren’s feelings, but when they, as children, recreated the crime-solving shows mrs. jaeger always had on, mikasa always wanted to be the brains. so criminology and forensic science it is. (side note: she definitely joins the military and they pay for her education)

jean: structural engineering and industrial design with a minor in studio art

more than anything, jean wants to provide for his mom and knows he can’t guarantee a retirement of luxury for her as the freelance artist he wishes he could be. he’s decent at math when he tries and doesn’t hate physics, so he decided he’d give structural engineering a try for at least a semester or two. he wasn’t expecting to get much from it, to be honest. he had a plethora of backup plans waiting for his supposedly inevitable distaste for engineering, but he found that he didn’t hate it at all. someone once told jean that he had the makings of a great leader and he didn’t believe them until he started taking the lead on design projects and producing incredible results. his only qualm is that he just doesn’t get to be as creative as he wanted to be. that was easily rectified by an additional major in industrial design and a minor in studio art. he’s unbelievably busy, busier than he anticipated when he started his post-secondary journey, but he’s content and there’s nothing some extra coffee can’t solve.

sasha: environmental science and sustainability

sasha spent her childhood ankle-deep in mud and fighting her way through forest thickets without a compass. an upbringing like that doesn’t leave your spirit, no matter how far into the city you go for school. so sasha’s always been passively passionate about the environment. that passiveness became significantly more prominent when part of the woods she grew up in was cleared out to build an industrial complex. it was then that she started researching and writing petitions about preserving wildlife and making environmentally conscious decisions. her work actually got her the scholarship she’s on (because god knows it wasn’t her grades). and she genuinely loves what she does, so why wouldn’t she keep learning about it? the environmental science and sustainability program at the school is small, but tight-knit and known for churning out changemakers. sasha knows she’ll be one of them one day. just hide your plastic straws from her, okay?

connie: computer science and chinese

stick with me here okay? everyone expects connie to be a douchebag marketing major whose hardest assignments are graphing functions and making posters on photoshop, but he’s a lot more invested in his education than he looks. don’t get me wrong, connie has always struggled academically, but that’s because so much of early education is pre-determined. he performed way better when he could choose what courses he took. it’s kind of like percy jackson being dyslexic in english because he was wired to read in greek. connie can’t keep his eyes on a history textbook for shit, but will gladly sit in front of the c++ code on his pc for hours. he doesn’t even get mad when he realizes that he was missing a semicolon. connie loves how versatile of a future he could have with a compsci degree, because, let’s be real, he could never survive in a typical office environment. definitely takes a bunch of chinese classes and doesn’t realize that he has enough credits for it to be a minor until his second to last semester.

historia: political science with a minor in international relations and child development

historia is a lot like eren in the sense that she knows her time is best spent doing hands-on work in the fields she cares about. she realizes this sometime after reconnecting with her estranged father and volunteering at the orphanage she grew up in. but now that she’s publicly associated with a powerful political figure, historia doesn’t get to do what she wants, only what is expected of her. that’s how she ends up on the pre-law political science and public policy route. the nickname “ms. president” that connie and sasha give her only further reminds her that she’s heading down a path she never wanted for herself. after lots of encouragement from ymir, historia decided to take child development courses on the side. even if she doesn’t take on the full minor, she’s taking some classes she cares about. maybe she’ll find use for it someday. at the very least, it’s her first step in becoming the most selfish girl in the world.

ymir: data science and business management

ymir is smart. much smarter than she presents herself to be, almost as a form of protection. nobody expects much of someone who is aloof, so it makes it easy to slip through the cracks to remain safe and comfortable in the shadows. business management is notoriously low commitment and easy to skate by with. guaranteed internships, post-graduate employment, and so on. To anyone who doesn’t know ymir well, it’s perfect. but they have her mistaken, ymir will do as little as possible to go as far as possible. sure, she can live comfortably with a business degree, but it could be better with a little bit of data science in her arsenal. she’s intelligent enough to pick up on it, and determined enough to make it her bitch. yeah, academia is a money-sucking pipeline into the capitalist hellscape, she doesn’t believe in it yada yada, but at the end of the day, ymir’s gonna get the bag. so what if she’s gotta sleep through some stats classes to get it?

reiner: behavioral economics

reiner’s mother had convinced him his whole life that getting a high paying job would fix their lives and bring his father back. believing “perfect grades lead to a perfect life” made high school tough for reiner; gifted kid burnout is no joke. it really messed him up. he wasn’t sure if he could withstand the pressures of university, but here he is. reiner was never allowed a therapist, so he figured pursuing psychology would, at the very least, give him some answers and be a good pathway to a medical degree. he loved getting to understand how people work and why they act the way they do, but something was missing. he found out what it was when a guest lecturer spoke in his economics class. he knew making the switch would be risky, it’s a new field and his current career options are really only research, academia, or government, but the interdisciplinary study of behavioral economics is calling reiner’s name.

annie: biomedical engineering and kinesiology

annie’s entire life revolved around her father, including the injury he was never able to heal from. the one she gave him. he’s claimed to be over it, she’s forgiven, but annie will never feel like she’s earned that forgiveness until she gets rid of the problem entirely. how is she going to do that exactly? with biomedical engineering. she has years of hell in front of her, especially with her concentration on biomechanics, but she doesn’t care. annie will throw herself into her work to get the results she wants. she takes the highest amount of credits possible every semester so she can graduate early. you’ll most likely find her chained to a study cubicle at the library at all hours of the day and running on 2 hours of sleep, but it doesn’t faze her. she tacks on a minor in kinesiology because it makes sense and she had most of the credits for it anyway. and as if it couldn’t get worse, she probably TAs for a thermodynamics course or something crazy like that.

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x-liv25-jamieswife · 8 days

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sad avery head canons

@ariscats requested this in a comment under my sad grayson hcs, and i'm more than happy to do it for my fav girl avery. trigger warning for self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and sexual assault. pls don't read if this might trigger you, and if you ever need help, there are helplines you can contact for free. family and friends are obviously also an option (if you'd rather talk to a stranger, you can always dm me (or whoever you feel comfortable with) <3). sorry if some of this doesn't make sense. i wrote this at 1 am. hope you enjoy<3.

avery used to pull out a guitar (cause i hc she can play the guitar) and sing songs for her mom when she was on her death bed

she now visits her mom's grave and does the same thing. she sings her mom's favorite songs on the verge of tears (if she isn't already crying).

avery used to wear an elastic band around her wrist and would snap it repeatedly until her wrist became sore and red (it didn't always make her stop though) when she was feeling overwhelmed or did smth she deemed wrong.

whenever avery would drive across bridges or anything really high up, she would think about jumping off of it.

she used to get her mom or libby to help her bake cookies that she would bring to school to try to get people to become her friend (it never worked)

she used to eat lunch in the back of the courtyard in a secluded place most of the time bc no one wanted to eat with her (until she met max obviously)

i'm currently rereading tig and i can't help but notice how uncomfortable she becomes when someone touches her so i hc drake or some other random creep sexually assaulted her once (or multiple times) and that's the reason why she seems so uncomfortable with physical touch.

she used to cry in her mom's arms wondering why she wasn't good enough for people to want to be her friend

when her and libby were struggling to get by and couldn't afford food, she would save the food for libby and not eat (she would tell her she ate at the diner she worked at but didn't)

when she realized, at the age of six, that her father was a piece of shit who didn't actually want her, she started trying to find faults in her to explain why this might be (she thought that if she could 'fix' herself, her father might want her)

she sometimes purposely gives herself papercuts when she feels really numb just to make herself feel something

when she would live in her car, she would sometimes continuously bash her head on the steering wheel wishing her life could be different.

when she was younger, to get people to like her, she would give them everything she had. she would do their homework for them, would cover for them when they wanted to cause trouble in the school, etc, but, in the end, it was always temporary

whenever she comes across someone who looks like sheffield grayson she freezes up in fear/shock. a little voice in her head tells her she's in danger and they'll hurt her.

after all of the almost-death experiences she's been through, she developed a panic disorder (this is already sort of confirmed) that she has to treat with pills.

she sometimes takes the haters' comments to heart (the comments about her weight, etc). she would start telling herself that skipping one meal wouldn't hurt. jameson noticed really early on though and stopped her before it became too severe.

she's convinced people would be better off without her and that she only causes pain and destruction everywhere she goes (bc of what happened with toby)

she actually hates getting drunk because it reminds her too much of her father. jameson started to notice that she would get really uncomfortable whenever he got drunk so he started to drink less. when he did drink though, he made sure it wasn't enough to get drunk.

because of everyone comparing her to emily, she's convinced herself that she's just jamie's second option and she'll never measure up (personality wise, looks wise, everything). jamie and her talked about it a lot and she's now less insecure.

she gets terrified when she hears noises at night bc she's convinces someone's there to hurt her

she forgives people so easily bc she desperately wants people to actually like her.

in the books she says she doesn't allow herself to want to want things bc it could potentially distract her/hurt her. i also think she doesn't allow herself to want things bc she doesn't think she deserves to want anything.

when she's in a stressful situation or she's having a panic attack, she'll start scratching her arms really roughly until they start to bleed to get herself to focus on anything other than the stress/panic.

the scratches on her arms became too obvious so she started scratching her sides instead.

she can't watch any tv shows with violence/war bc the loud sounds remind her too much of the shooting.

one of the reasons why she realized her father was a piece of shit was bc, once, he got way too drunk and slapped her. that was sort of like the catalyst for her.

bc she grew up so isolated, she's afraid of emotional and physical intimacy. she's afraid she'll start liking feeling loved/close to someone too much since she believes it'll never last (jamie showed her she was wrong)

i'm an averyjameson stan so don't take this the wrong way but avery was affected by jamie thinking of her as only a game way more than she lets on. even after they got together, she was paranoid that he had ulterior motives.

she blames herself whenever something goes wrong in the foundation or hawthorne house even when she had nothing to do with the problem.

she's extremely paranoid when it comes to locking her bedroom door and stuff like that bc of how often her privacy is invaded.

i said this in another post but, especially before she inherited the money, she would sometimes smoke weed to lessen the stress she felt for a little while.

she hates going to sleep bc her sleep is always invaded by horrendous nightmares. it became so bad she ended up in the hospital (jamie was absolutely terrified and made her promise to talk to him more).

she has this one stuffed animal that her mom gave her not long before she passed that she cries into whenever she feels like her life is going to shit.

before she inherited the money, she was actually near her breaking point. she was seriously considering if staying alive was actually worth it.

before she inherited the money, she used to count on her fingers how many people would miss her when she died to convince herself to stay alive (the number was never more than three). the fact that the number was so low made her feel even shittier and made her spiral.

her grief for her mom is so intense sometimes she can't get out of bed. she doesn't eat, sleep, drink water, etc. alisa had to contact a therapist/psychiatrist to help avery get out of bed.

to end on a brighter note, here's a happy avery head canon:

she used to dance all the time when she was younger. she would pull out her mom's phone, start playing some music, and jump around waving her tiny little arms everywhere whilst singing along. she would pretend she was a popstar. her mom would film her and send the videos to libby. the brothers have seen all of them bc libby showed them.

not proof read so i apologize for any spelling mistakes<3. again, pls contact someone/helpline if you ever need help. speaking from experience, things tend to get better. sending everyone lots of love (and my girl avery).

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #xander hawthorne #nash hawthorne #libby grambs

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profounddefendorcrusade-blog · 10 days

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I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 7)

Staroba is... not my cup of tea.

Still can't get over the fact Ceroba showed so little empathy for Star. It becomes even worse when you remember she started lecturing him ALL while wanting to take Clover's soul herself and lied to his face just so she could later betray the kid. At least Star tried to fix things. She started digging deeper and deeper into her plan and in the end got forgiven really easily.

I keep thinking Ceroba sees Starlo as a childish little bro or smth and even mentions how the reason she chose Chujin was because he was "mature." Yeah he WAS more serious in terms of personality but everyone's different. Chujin wasn't morally perfect anyway

'Back when I was a naive kid, kinda like you' and 'hey, it's science. your brain is still developing' rub me the wrong way. Basically what I got from this is how she thinks only someone childish and emotionally underdeveloped would consider a relationship with Starlo

Ceroba seems to view Star as a "poor naive manchild" who needs babysitting. She feels so bad for him that she'd sometimes tag along with his antics but won't hide the annoyance most of the time.

She'll also spare him from his feelings getting hurt, which is nice but it's not her honest opinion:

She seems to show little appreciation for what he tried to do for her even though they're supposedly best pals. She says how she's been burying her sorrows in the saloon but not how spending time there even slightly cheered her up.

She envies Star's optimism but imo it sounded more like an adult envying a kid's naivety than one adult admiring the other.

And APPARENTLY the time she spent with Clover in Steamworks cheered her up a little but not what Star's been doing for her for months.

heck she didn't even notice he had been doing it for her. too stuck in her sorrows, probably

I think the reason for this is because the Steamworks reminded her of Chujin and Kanako and the life they used to have. Btw, she loved Chujin waaaay too much (and even though he's gone now she still doesn't think she'll ever be with anyone else except Chujin, she's proud of Chujin for a useless award, she still calls Chujin 'her love,' she keeps talking about Chujin's legacy and how Asgore and everyone else never believed in him), to the point she stubbornly supported him without question, only (maybe) seeing him more realistically at the end of pacifist. I just feel like Ceroba doesn't take Starlo seriously. It's not that she doesn't care about him at all, but… she definitely doesn't get him.

For these reasons, I'm not a fan of staroba.

#uty #undertale yellow #starlo uty #uty starlo #north star uty #uty ceroba #ceroba uty #ceroba ketsukane #anti staroba #I won't pretend I like this ship #I honestly don't see the chemistry #their friendship is ok though #but imo star puts more effort into it #maybe she's hiding her true feelings for starlo #maybe not #idk #either way I won't overthink it #i know a lot of fans love staroba and that's fine #i just don't #star was a sweetheart to let her go #and let her have happiness somewhere else without him #i want starlo to either end up alone raising clover as a single dad #or with someone who will appreciate him and find him inspiring #this might sound funny #but that someone could be el bailador #both are energetic and passionate and 'too much' for the people around them #they wouldn't find each other 'too much'#corn yaoi is something I want to discuss separately

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lcvernat · 1 year

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Pushed to the Limit | Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Request: hey! i love your works! they made me feel warm

could i request a delicious hurt/comfort? i wanna leave it broad for you coz i love your ideas so far.. but maybe smth w injury and reader continuously pushing thru the pain?!! until they collapse?! sensational.

thanks :)

Word Count: 1.4k

Content Warnings: hurt/comfort, slight violence, mentions of a bullet wound, sort of angsty, fluff, strong language, nat's the best & reader is very stubborn

A/N: ah thank you so much!! i'm so glad you enjoy my works and i'm so sorry this request took a while but i hope you enjoy it and it was at least a tiny bit worth the wait <3

You never knew when to stop.

Pushing your body to the limit all of the time, only stopping when you were on the very brink of passing out from exhaustion. You hid it well though. No one usually noticed. No one except Natasha. She noticed because she done the same.

It was hypocritical, really, how you always told Natasha to take it easy and to not overwork herself, but you didn't do the same for yourself.

You never asked for help. You didn't want to be a burden. You'd been made out to be a burden for your entire life and you had eventually learned to just fix yourself; fix your own injuries, whether they were mental or physical. You didn't want to ask Natasha for help, even though she would willingly help you. She was your girlfriend, after all. But you couldn't burden her.

Even when the Avengers had to head to the MedBay after returning from missions, you claimed you were fine even if you weren't, and you patched yourself up in your room. It worked, even if you were straining your body to its limit, it worked.

Until it, inevitably, stopped working.

A mission gone wrong and a bullet to the thigh was never ideal. Sitting on the Quinjet fighting for your life, trying not to draw attention to yourself despite the fact you had a bullet still buried in your thigh and blood slowly seeping out of it was also not ideal. At least your suit was black, so the blood wasn't that visible. Unless you were really paying attention. No one was, though, so it was all good.

"You okay?" Your girlfriend leaned over, staring at you, her brows pinched in concern as she assessed you.

You nodded, "Mhm. Jus' tired."

Not necessarily a lie. You were exhausted. You had barely slept at all last night, spending all night training for this mission because it was a so-called very important, high-priority mission. And you had still failed, so it didn't even pay off. It was a team effort, but you still felt like it was entirely your fault somehow.

Leaning your head back, you close your eyes, clenching your fists as a sharp stab of pain shoots up your thigh.

"Y/N."

"I'm fine, Nat." You quickly say, but you don't look at her. You keep your eyes closed because you know she'd be able to see through your deception instantly. She was a superspy, after all. You could never successfully trick her.

"Approaching the Landing Pad," Steve announces, "head to the MedBay if you need patched up. Good job out there team, we tried our best."

You had to resist scoffing. Tried our best, yet still failed. It wasn't exactly a good job, was it?

The Quinjet landed shortly after, and you clenched your jaw before standing up. Pain shot up your leg again, and it was slowly but surely going numb. A wave of darkness washed over you for a second, and you had to lean your hand on the wall of the Quinjet for support.

"Y/N," Natasha's voice sounded close and far away at the same time, and you vaguely registered her hand on your waist.

You push it off, regaining your composure enough to walk away from her and off the Quinjet. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

"Completely fine."

"Don't bullshit me."

"Not bullshitting," you continue walking, despite your leg having went completely numb and your vision going in and out of focus. You're also pretty sure you shouldn't be seeing stars right now. Natasha was right behind you; you couldn't hear her, but you'd known her for long enough that you could just sense her.

"You need to go to the MedBay."

"No," you said with as much conviction in your voice that you could currently muster, "no MedBay. I'm fine."

"Y/N," she sounded a mixture of angry, worried, and exasperated now.

You spun around, but clearly that move was the final straw for your body. The final push. It had had enough. Nausea turned your stomach, your brain went foggy and lightheaded, you couldn't feel your body anymore and everything sounded hazy, like you were underwater.

"I-"

Natasha rushing toward you and something - you think they were her arms - wrapping around your body was the last thing you felt before your knees gave in and everything disappeared into pain-free nothingness.

You regained consciousness, and the first thing you noticed was that you were in fact not on hard ground but instead on something quite comfortable. Your head was propped up on a pillow, the pain in your thigh had subsided, and you were actually comfortable.

Your eyes shot open, and you immediately breathed a sigh of relief when the sight greeting you was not the tiled, brightly lit ceiling of the MedBay. You scanned the area, and quickly came to realize that you were in Natasha's room. Which was when you noticed the redhead in question sitting at the edge of the bed beside you, her gentle gaze on your face.

"Hey," she says softly, squeezing your hand reassuringly. You're surprised that she doesn't seem angry.

"You don't seem angry," you croaked, your voice hoarse.

"Oh, believe me, I'm fuming. I was fuming, and I still am. But I had to take care of you first. I'll scream at you later though, don't worry."

You try to laugh, but it hurts, so much that you're forced to stop. You don't know why your entire body hurts. You'd only got shot in the thigh. At least, you're pretty sure it was only the thigh.

"If you're wondering why your entire body hurts," Natasha begins, as if she was reading your mind (she says exactly what you're thinking a lot, and it never fails to terrify you every time), "it's likely because you've pushed it to the very limit and it couldn't take it anymore. So now it's getting it's revenge by hurting everywhere."

"Don't act like you don't do the same thing."

She frowns at that, chewing on her bottom lip before responding, "You're not wrong. But I can push my body to the limit, I'm used to it. You, on the other hand, cannot, because I will get angry, upset and worried."

"Likewise," you smirk and Natasha sighs.

"I cleaned your wound and bandaged it up. You're not allowed to leave this bed for at least a week, though. You need the rest. And I won't hear any of your silly arguments or excuses."

"But-"

"No."

You sigh but don't bother complaining anymore, you know you'll never change Natasha's mind. She was nothing if not stubborn.

"Where will you sleep?" You ask her.

Natasha rolls her eyes, "Here, idiot. Beside you. We are dating, you realize that?"

"Oh. Yeah. That makes sense."

Apparently, your brain still wasn't working 100% right now because things were still confusing and hazy. You can barely remember what happened during the mission or what had led up to this moment. God, you really needed to sleep for at least 24 hours.

Natasha knew. She always did. "Get some sleep," she leaned over, planting a soft kiss on your forehead, "I've left some water and painkillers on the bedside table if you need them when you wake up," she gestures to the table, "your phone is there too. I'm going to train with Steve for a bit, so if you need me either text or tell FRIDAY, but do not leave this room, and if I even hear a peep that you tried to escape to train or whatever, I will kill you myself. Understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," you use most of your remaining strength available to raise your arm to your forehead and do a mock salute. Natasha chuckles before kissing you once more, this time on the lips, and then exiting the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.

Silence envelopes you, and you honestly don't expect to get to sleep because you never usually can, you've always had a problem with sleeping. But whether it's because you're in the safety of your girlfriend's room, or the comforting warmth in your stomach knowing that she cares for you more than anyone has ever cared before, you fall asleep almost instantly.

Only to awaken hours later with your leg feeling as if it's been stuck in a bush of stinging nettles and then into a pit of lava, but the painkillers on the bedside help. Though the text message from Nat asking how you're feeling is probably better than any of the painkillers in the entire world combined.

Maybe you'll start going more easy on yourself, if not for you, then for her. You don't want to worry Natasha. And she better do the same for you, or you'll be very, very annoyed.

tags: @sheneonromanoff @olicity-boo @r4nd0mgir1 @tigerlillyruiz @dj-bynum3718 @lovelyy-moonlight

dm me, send me an ask or reply to be added to my taglist!

#natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha fanfic #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff imagine #black widow imagine #black widow x y/n #black widow x you #natasha romanoff x gender neutral reader

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just-a-torn-up-masterpiece · 1 year

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emily, i’m sorry

boy genius (the record) masterlist

emily prentiss x reader

18+ : super mild smut, kissing, alcohol consumption, implied alcohol use as a coping mechanism, smoking, angst, right person wrong time, a double dose of mommy issues, happy ending

word count: 2.9k

a/n: i started writing this so long ago and i feel like i only really like the last 500 words or smth 💀

You’d been sitting behind Emily since the beginning of the semester, two months in without an introduction, merely observing from afar. You’d never thought yourself to be a person to fall into those romantic clichés with your chin resting in the palm of your hand and your eyes on the side of her face instead of the professor at the front of the class.

Finding yourself smiling at the sound of her laugh, eyes darting away from her direction when she’d glance towards you. Because she’d noticed you too.

By chance your paths finally crossed at a party, a spilling of your overly strong drink from the red cup onto her arm and a rushed apology.

“Get me another drink and all is forgiven.” She smiled with a hand on your waist to keep you close as you made your way through drunken college students into the brightly lit kitchen. You’d never seen her this closely, her dark hazel eyes lined black and equally dark hair pushed behind her ear.

“So, what can I get you?” You asked, looking over the options scattered messily on the kitchen counter, space taken up by tipped over plastic cups and spilled liquor and mixers making the surface sticky. “We have beer, cheap vodka, something blue,” you twisted bottles to see their labels with a shrug at the poor selection the student budget could afford. “Or cheap vodka.”

“I’ll have what you’re having then.” Emily laughed, leaning her hip against the counter as she watched you pour bottles into two cups. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

You lifted a brow at her statement with a small smile as you passed her the drink. “You have?”

“Of course. Who wouldn’t wanna talk to a pretty girl like you?” She was bolder than you’d expected, what with the way you’d seen her blush.

“Well I’m glad you finally did.”

“Oh, so you’ve been waiting for this then, hm?” She smirked, keeping a fixed gaze on you over the top of her cup as she swigged at its contents.

“No, I was just getting a little tired of you staring at me so much.” You huffed mockingly, grinning into your drink at the way she stumbled over a response.

“I find that hard to believe,” she finally uttered, inching closer with a hint of alcohol on her breath. “I know you’ve been pining after me. It’s cute.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Emily.”

Her name sounded delicious as it rolled off your tongue and she just had to hear it again. She was overcome with a need for you, to talk with you and dance with you and learn each centimetre of your skin.

Neither of you were very good at dancing, especially with the liquor pumping through your veins, heads dazed with the buzz and a coating of sweat lining your foreheads. She kept you close, a hold more possessive than you’d expected on your hips moving your bodies together.

She dragged you away to somewhere quieter where you could actually hear the mutterings of one another’s voices. You got to know each other as well as two drunk people could, conversations barely scratching the surface but in the back of your mind you knew there’d be more time for that. You could hardly let her go now.

The closeness of your bodies set your skin alight, hardly able to keep your eyes off her. The way her fingers held a cigarette and her lips parted with a stream of smoke. You could taste it on one another’s tongues when she finally kissed you, escaping to a bathroom with your body perched atop the counter; the flavour of ash and coca cola, the bitterness of vodka and the sweetness of cherry lip gloss.

The way she slotted her lips with yours was sublime, a heat pulsing through you at the hand on the back of your neck. Her hair was soft and perfect between your fingers and the sound of a moan falling from her throat to yours made your stomach flip.

Movements were sloppy and fuelled with drunkenness and lust, a building tension of the evening finally being untangled in the transference of warm hands beneath your shirt. Her touch wandered desperately and yours was just as hungry, grabbing at any part of her you could reach, the material of her t-shirt clenched in your fist.

Neither of you thought it through, giggling in your tipsy haze when she haphazardly pulled your jeans down your legs and trailed her nails upwards across the skin of your thighs. Her breath was hot against the column of your throat where her lips lay kisses and licks of her tongue, her teeth grazed the crook of your neck while her fingers inched past the waistband of your underwear.

Your head fell backwards and your hands kept her head where it was, where she made you dizzy with sucks against your flesh. It was as though she’d already learnt your body off by heart with the way her fingers pulled noises from you that the both of you could only hope were kept within the four walls of the bathroom. With your legs wrapped around her waist you were as close as you could be, the heat of each other’s bodies pulsing through you like lightning and a thick tension simmering.

It was a moment you’d come to find amusing, being walked in on by a girl stumbling over her heels. It would become a memory of that first night together, that fateful night you met and you’d laugh wondering where that stranger was now.

–

It was routine by now to be sprawled on the living room floor with textbooks and papers scattered in front of you. Overused highlighters scratched across printed sheets with a bright pink left behind, less and less information seeping into your brains as the hours would add up.

You’d forgone buying desks, using your shared apartment floor as an infinite display of university work - it was a definite benefit of sharing a degree with your girlfriend.

Your evenings were either spent with bleary eyes straining to read for hours on end, shooting one another questions to test knowledge whilst you drank copious amounts of coffee. Or you’d be dancing together tipsily with a bunch of other students, rooms blurred with smoke, smelling like cigarettes and the sourness of cheap beer.

You were happy together, you could never imagine your love for Emily to fade away.

There was a perfectly intimate domesticity between you; smiling conversations half asleep over breakfast and evenings watching tv, lighting incense and candles to mask the smell of nicotine.

She’d smiled to herself this evening at the sight of you staring at the ceiling in frustrated boredom, lying on your back on the ground with an open textbook face down on your chest. You’d been studying for a while and she could see the burnout all over you.

She went to the kitchen wordlessly and poured two glasses of the cheap wine from the kitchen counter; she always swore she’d be able to afford the good stuff when she was older.

When she came back you took it from her with an appreciative smile.

“You read my mind, Em.”

“Reading your mind is a stretch, I just saw you staring at the ceiling despondently and I know you like the back of my hand.” She laughed and you shrugged - she wasn’t wrong.

“I bet you can’t guess what I’m thinking now then.”

“I think I have an idea.” She smirked, letting you take another sip of your drink before she took your glass and set it aside, lowering herself to straddle your legs. She pushed your back against the ground with her lips ghosting yours with her voice. “Something like this?”

The taste of her lips was so familiar, cigarettes and wine. They pushed into yours sublimely with her hand cupping your cheek while yours held her closely by her belt loops. The kiss grew heated as it always did, that perfect electrical heat that never failed to make your skin alight with goosebumps and your body arch into hers in an effort to get closer than possible.

“There’s a party across campus. Wanna go?” Emily muttered once she’d pulled away to catch her breath. Of course you agreed, diving head first into a night of liquor fuelled sex, rooms misty with smoke. Intoxicated by each other, dizzy from the lust.

—

And now you’re walking home alone, feet scuffing against the loose debris along the cement with your dazed steps, struggling to keep your footsteps linear with the way your head buzzed with the swill of unmoderated alcohol.

It wasn’t the same without Emily. Parties were just an excuse to get drunk, to let your mind finally drift away, distracted by the overly loud music and crowds of people hiding you away. They used to be fun, a way to let yourselves loose, drinking together and laughing and enjoying the night before giggling drunkenly on your way home.

But you were here and Emily was at home, her head buried in textbooks as she crammed for the same exams you should be focussing on.

It’s hard to know when it began to go downhill, when the parties stopped being fun and the stress of graduation overtook you both. When you started to spend more and more time apart with different focuses and goals.

All you’d yearned after for so long was a freedom your bones ached for. Free from the judging gaze of your mother, living up to the expectations she loomed above your head. And you’d found it, you felt liberated, truly able to smile and laugh and party with friends. You were finally figuring out who you are with this freedom you’d always wanted, who you are with Emily and on your own; who you are in your own apartment and in the cafe down the street.

You just want to be free but even this freedom is dotted with downsides.

While you’re making your way home to her, Emily is finishing another cup of coffee, blinking away the exhaustion in her eyes in hopes to unblur the words on the paper in front of her.

She could only sigh when she looked at the clock. 1am and you weren’t home, it wasn’t new but it was frustrating. It was frustrating how your newfound freedoms had led you down different paths.

Sure, she was no longer living with her mother, peering over her shoulder with bated breath waiting for her to fail. Her freedom may be literal, oftentimes in a differing country to the ambassador, but nothing had truly changed. Elizabeth’s voice was always there in the back of her mind, with each assignment and exam. Each time her phone would ring she’d prepare herself with a deep breath before trying to appease her mother on the other end.

Keep her happy, keep her proud and satisfied at her academic progress. She’d placate and be agreeable, thanking her for helping her pay for the apartment all whilst fidgeting with the lighter in her pocket, desperate to ease the anxious tension her mother never failed to arise in her.

With each passage highlighted, page turned and hand cramped from scribbling notes for too long, she thought of Elizabeth. The standards she couldn’t help but stare at with each decision she made. She’d tried to let herself live and breathe but she wasn’t ready to be free yet. She knew she would be eventually but for now she needs to get her degree, excel or disappoint, and let herself be free with you.

You were the only true freedom she could hold on to but she could feel it slipping away.

The door closed behind you when she poured herself another cup of crappy coffee and she habitually grabbed another mug - your favourite one with the chip in the handle.

You took it from the counter with an appreciative smile when she pushed it towards you and you both sipped without a word. It was quiet. Too quiet. Neither of you knew what to say, there were so many words you wanted to utter yet neither of you could form any.

“I thought you weren’t gonna be out so late tonight.” She murmured to break the silence.

“I lost track of time.” You shrugged with the slightest slur decorating your words.

“You’ve been saying that a lot lately.”

“I didn’t realise I had a curfew.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know that.” Emily sighed. “We’re about to graduate and you’re out at any party you can find while I work my ass off. You’re not taking it seriously.”

“My grades are fine, Emily. I just want to feel like I have a life outside of all this.”

“Well I can’t keep being woken up with you stumbling in at night. I can’t keep being interrupted by you coming back drunk when I’m studying. You know I can’t afford to fuck this up.”

“I know.”

“It’s like we’re on different wavelengths.”

“I know.”

You couldn’t meet each other’s eyes with the way they stung with tears, so scared that you’d both break with just a glance.

“I love you so much but it’s as though we’re different people now, y’know?” Emily uttered through a shaking voice, wiping at the tear on her cheek with the end of her sleeve.

“Mhm.” You nodded, clearing your throat to find your voice again. “We’re not who we were at the beginning. We’ve changed.”

You’re so right for each other. Perfect. But the world is cruel and time is painful and sometimes things don’t align the way they should.

“I love you, Emily. I’m so sorry. I wish I could be better for you. I wish I didn’t feel so suffocated and trapped in this hole that I’m trying to climb out of. The hole my mother buried me in. God, I wish I could be better for you.”

“No. You don’t have to be sorry.” She returned with tears matching your own and her arms wrapping around your body. “You haven’t done anything wrong. We’re just not ready for the same things. The timing isn’t right, no matter how much it fucking hurts my heart to admit.”

The taste of salt coated your lips when you kissed and each breath that sounded in the room was stuttered, lingering in an embrace you so desperately wished to last forever. It was unspoken for now, you’d work out the formalities another time but for tonight you let yourselves live the night with freedom. Teary freedom with each other, kisses and touches so perfect, falling asleep entwined with puffy eyes.

“You are the truest love I could have ever imagined.” Emily whispered. “Nothing could ever take away this feeling I have for you. I think it was created for you. I think that you were made for me.”

“You will always have my heart, Em. I can only dream of one day being able to take it back.”

—

Years passed. So many years with an Emily shaped space looming near. Though she lived in the back of your mind it wasn’t uncommon for her to be the only thought your brain could focus on. But that was a different time. You hadn’t seen her since graduation and even that was merely a smile across the room, you couldn’t bear anything more, not with the inevitable ending. You’d thought it best to interact as little as possible, sparing yourselves of the agony. There was no cure for the pain, only the numbing of time.

The ding of the elevator closing behind you was the beginning of your new job, the career you’d been working towards. A bubbly blonde grinning at you from across the room caught you off guard and her excited announcement made you want to hide your face in embarrassment.

“You must be the newbie.” She smiled with quick steps carrying her towards you. “I’m Penelope Garcia.” She introduced with an excited shake of your hand with hers as she guided you towards the others.

She looked the same. Her jaw was sharper maybe and her eyes sported lines of laughter but it was still her. Emily Prentiss, the one who’d kept your heart. Perhaps you could feel the thumping in your chest again if she’d be so gracious to let you. If she could forgive you.

You didn’t quite know what to expect. Would she pretend your past was nothing, brush you off like a tarnish? Would she unleash some kind of anger she’d been holding onto, send you running, wishing you’d never even applied to this job? You felt your palms grow clammy with the way her eyes were so set on yours, unwavering for what felt like eternity.

It was like it was just the two of you, soul peering into soul. And then you had your answer, as though nothing had soured between you. Like the clock that once was broken had been repaired and the time that once controlled you was being steered into place by your own wanting hands.

She smiled that smile you’d been dreaming of for all this time; a beaming upturn of her lips that told you all she wanted you to know, that she still held your heart for safe keeping. That just seeing you again, both of you free, standing on the line of time with one foot in front of the other, was all she ever needed. You were the same people but time had changed for the better.

And in that moment, for the first time since that night, you had your heart again.

And you smiled back.

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