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#or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place
da-proti-toku-grem · 15 days
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why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/
#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad#and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay#but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh#like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet#but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety#or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place#1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out#2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me#3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days#4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for -#- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night#but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?'#i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed#and people where always like 'oh she's just shy'#but idk wtf changed#maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk#but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me#i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not#but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix#or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY#have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them#even if i don't like them#instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety??#i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc#but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day*#aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up#it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all.............#ranting
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713deepsubmerge813 · 3 years
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Short- ABO universe!
Keigo Takami x (gn) reader
Hawks x (gn) reader
Warnings-mostly SFW, only one sentence where hawk's mind goes to the gutter. That's it.
Note- if any one likes it I'll continue 😁
Letting him see them was the commission's biggest mistake.
Hawks contemplated calmly as he soared high above the city. From time to time when the avian man had a lot on his mind and not enough patients to deal with every fan he comes across, he would take to patrolling the skies. From high up keigo had a great view of the city and thanks to his sharp eyes could easily see what activities the bustling city was going through. Citizens on their way to and from work, some hanging out with friends after school and some walking their little ones accross the busy intersection. The pro hero couldn't help but let his eyes linger on the parents fawning over their children. It made him Think back to his own bleak childhood.
He couldn't help but wonder what it Would feel like, having a family to protect and fawn over. To make matters worse his rut was super close. He could already begin to feel himself pant and sweat, the usual symptoms befor his rut fully hit. It was a good thing patrol was almost done. He needed the week long vacation he was promised.
Having been traned by the commission since he was a child, the people in charge of him had to find ways to deal with his more avain tendencies. When puberty hit keigo takami, they had to learn the hard way quickly that some born with animal like quirks were increadably difficult to handle during mating season. They tried giving him suppresants and for a while they worked. They're biggest mistake however was letting him see the small creature they'd brought in to train.
The incident keigo will never forget came when he was fifteen. during his highschool years they found his ruts were getting more difficult to control. Keigo had been training in a massive out door obstacle course (courtesy of the funds donated by the hero commission) when he'd first caught the smell. It was tantalizing. It made feathers ruffle. He couldn't describe the smell but knew that it was intoxicating. He couldn't help but search for what it was. This scent had him swooning with each inhail as he made his way closer to it as fast as he could. This smell made him feel safe. Like a long forgotten memory used to comfort your anxieties. Keigo had never felt this way. His whole life was filled with neglect and abuse and that was before the commission took him in.
The smell and the feeling it gave him was something he could not pass by. He needed it. He needed it like he needed air. He vowed to find what ever it was and keep it for eternity.
As he brushed through the thick forest, he could feel the branches of trees scrape his wings, but paid them no mind as he gained speed. Coming in to a small clearing, he could see people standing around in a small semi circle clearly whispering among themselves. They were toadies and doctors from the commission and there beside them was a smaller creature with beautiful little white wings. His abrupt intrusion however startled the group of people who all grabbed the smaller child and shoved the tiny thing behind them before he could get a better look.
"Hawks! What are you doing here? Your not scheduled to use the obstical courses until after classes! " the doctor in the coat yelled up at him with a slightly panicked look.
Hawks lowered himself to the ground as he spoke .
"Sorry classes were let out early today so I figured I'd get a head start. You know, fastest man around and all that. "
It was the mantra they'd been drilling into his head for years now. Part of his conditioning to make him the best hero.
He landed with gentle feet on the grass so as to not alert them. Judging by their behavior he'd say they were definitely scitish and they were definitely hiding something.. or someone he thought as he heard a small whimper.
The few adults in the back began to usher that small someone further away from him. He realized they must have been testing the quirk of a new recruit. But why hide it from him? He's eaten and trained with other kids here before, why was this one a secret? And why did they smell soo damn good? Keigo felt a jolt of panick run up his spine. Why were they taking them away? His breathing became heavier. His body started to sweat and he could feel a painful pressure in his fingertips and gums. A glance down told him his nails had elongated and by running his tongue over his teeth he could tell that his canines were longer too . What was happening to him? The delectable scent was invading his nostrils to the point that he felt his brain go foggy. The rest was a blure.
When he awoke the next day it was in a hospital like room. But he could tell he was still with the hero commission. It was only logical they had their own hospital wing considering they put minors through extreme training. He looked down at himself to asses the damage but only found a small pinhole surrounded by a bruise on his chest. So they'd tranquilized him. He had to have been very close in range , practically right on top of them for it to have left that kind of mark. It made him shudder. What would have happened if they had not shot? Or if they had taken the shot with a real bullet . He tried to think back to what happened but could only recall a few flashes like pictures and emotions from his memory before his head started to pound.(must be from the drugs he thought bitterly) And that scent that would not leave his mind.
Who were they? Why did the commission want him to stay away? Why did he lose control?
When the doctors came to check on him he figured he'd ask if they knew what happened. And for onec they were thankfully honest. From what they could tell Hawks had a secondary gender that usually showed up in those with animalistic like quirks. Hawks was an alpha. And the tasty smelling person they were assessing in the woods was an omega. They told him it was a normal reaction but he didn't fully believe it. Even now as a full grown pro hero, Hawks had smelled quite a few omegas around different cities but none of them smelled the way that the forst one did. Who were they? He only caught a glimpse of small white wings.
Hawks never caught sight or smell of them again... Until recently.
The commission must have moved them to a different location. For years keigo tried to smooz information out of the commission about other children they had taken in to train. But they stayed on top of their game, never letting a speck of information slip but, Japan is small and he finally caught the sent he'd been searching for, for years.
He'd followed it to a quaint little apartment building the next town over. It was a small town more on the impoverished side of the tracks but keigo didn't mind. It would only help him locate them easier. The only thing that stopped keigo was the shout of a woman in distress. He should have figured, crime never takes a break. He altered course and flew to where the commotion was coming from. A petty thug trying to rob a middle age woman, hawks already knew it wouldn't take long for him to defuse the situation, take the criminal in and get back to his hunt before his rut fully kicked in.
That was until, a beautiful creature with wings white as snow swooped down faster than even him and took the criminal out with one hit. That may have been over kill thought hawks before he completely lost his train of thought when that sent hit him again... Oh no, his mind was already fogging. Why did they have such an effect on him? Years of mental discipline flew out the winow every time he caught taste of that smell on the wind. Could he hold out? Could he control himself so close to his rut? What if he ended up hurting them? He stopped to rethink his plan when he heard their beautiful voice ring out.
They were consoling the womam who had been attacked. That's when Hawks finally realized he'd been hovering mid air for at least a few minutes deep in thought. He'd never been so off his game. Finally, the other hero turned to him and their voice rang out.
"Sorry pal, didn't mean to steal the spot light. I mean this is my area to patrol today."
Hawks was flabbergasted. There they were. He'd been searching for so long and here they were and of course his mind wouldn't function. They were beautiful. (Hairlength (y/h/c) curled in soft waves and your (y/e/c) eyes looked up at him with amusement. How had he never actually seen you before. A rush of anger towards the commission had him breathing heavier. How could they keep you apart? You were perfect. Your costume hugged you perfectly and accentuated all the best places. Hawks was shook. He panicked momentarily.. What was he even supposed to say?
'Hi I'm hawks you don't know me but I've been hunting you for years. '
Funnily he couldn't see that going over well. He tried to think fast.
The first Impression they had of him was probably when he attacked the commission members. The last thing he wanted to do was scare you off now. Not now that he finally found you. Think! He told himself.
"That's alright pretty bird. I was just in the neighborhood after patrol, thought I'd lend a hand."
Hawks lowered himself slowly to the ground a distance away. He didn't want them smelling his pheromones which were surly escaping without his consent now.
The other hero finished clapping some quirk canceling hand cuffs on the villain and made sure the woman was okay to leave after taking a brief statement and calling the police. They did everything perfectly, efficiently. And hawks had to use all his self control to not rush over and begin sniffing their neck like a weirdo. Every thing about them screamed at him to take them, to protect them, to make them his forever. To burry his cock so deep inside them that they never thought about another. Keigo shook his head. Don't scare them off he thought.
'Take it slow, no rushing this. You can do this'. He told himfelf with confidence. He's flirted and gained people trust before, this would be easy for him.
"Always the hero even on your time off?"
They asked with a chuckle.
"Guess I shouldn't expect anything less from the number two hero. "
They shot him a cheeky smile and continued to help the police officer load the villain in the vehicle.This was going to be harder than he thought...
But no matter. He could have patients, he's waited this long after all and good things do come for those who wait.
"Well baby bird. How about I get your number? Or I could give you mine incase you ever need a hand. "
Hawks panicked... That was apparently the wront thing to say. They quirked an eye brow at him and took a more offensive stance by folding their arms across their chest. And what a beautiful chest it was Keigo thought. Then tried desperately to shove that though away when they finally answered.
"Thanks but I think I'll be okay. " they turned to walk away but kaigo panicked!
"Wait! " hawks nearly yelled but composed himself quickly. "You live around here? I could walk you home."
Keigo rubbed his neck sheepishly trying he's best to seem cool but instantly wanted to shove his foot in his mouth. Why did he say that? He knew he came off as creepy and deprate. He's never had anyone knock him off his game before.
"No thank you, I'll be fine. " they responded as they turned to leave. Well what was he supposed to do now? He couldn't let them disappear again but at least he had a good idea where they lived, if the stronger scent surrounding the building he'd found a few weeks prior was anything to go by. For now he'd have to play it cool until he could figure out a good plan to ask them to date. Date? Or was it courting? He'd never had to before in his life. He'd become very accustomed to the fast lane- instant gratification kind of life style he's been living since he broke out on his own. But for them.. He'd wait an eternity. Their scent lingers even after they've left. But hawks didn't move, still trying to breath in the last of the fading aroma and when it had finally faded he felt a very deep pit like whole in his chest. How was he going to survive without them? Could he survive taking things slow? He could tell they weren't some fan that usually tried throwing themselves at him. He'd have to take his time, he told himself. He'd have to for them.
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