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bigmack2go · 5 months

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No i dont think u understand!! I love heartstopper with my heart and all and im greatfull for all the representation but theres just so much i will never see myself in tv or media.

I want to see a kid having two(+) crushes and despair bc „why do i have to choose?“

But instead of the kid chOoSiNg ThE BeTtEr PeRsON iN tHe eNd i want to see them end up with BOTH because you dont have to choose! You can love several people in a romantic way and theres NOTHING wrong with it!

I want to see a girl that doesnt get along with other girls or a boy that doesnt get along with boys( or just isnt the same as other boys/girls)

I want to see a kid that just doesn’t belong to either. I dont wanna hear „not boy enough for the girls and not girl enough for the boys“ and have them struggle with the other people. NO! I want them to wonder for themselves who they are! Have them realize they dont belong to both or to either BUT TO NEITHER!

I want to see an outcast that isn’t all „boys at school never look at me. Im just not a main character…“ give me a kid thats an outcast but „WHY??? WHY AM I AN OUTCAST?? IM NOT EVEN THAT BAD WHY CANT NO ONE SEE THAT???“

Give me an authistic kid that doesn’t realize its being picked on until its to late. I want to see then masking and learning to unmask! I dont want to see not because „what is your problem?“ but because What is my problem? I want to see them struggling to name their feelings and even understand themselves! I want them to have to explain themselves and their actions but not being able too because THEY DONT KNOW EITHER!! I want them to be told their not authistic because „if you were authistic [insert authitic stty]“ i want them to accept that they have a disability and learn to live with it, not to say „aUthIsM iS A GiFt“ because for it fuking isnt! Its a condition! But that doesn’t make you less worthy of anything.

I want a kid that gets made fun off and KNOWS it but they cant do anything about it because the bullying is so passive that everyone’s just like „hAvE YoU eVeR cOnsIdeReD tHeyRe NoT aCtuAlLly AgaInSt YoU?” And being told to just engage with them, but of they do that then everyone will know theyre a fool and they fell for the passiveness and „did u actually think we wanted to be your friends ha ha“

I want an adhd kid that wonders „what is wrong with me?“ „why me???“ or „why cant i just be like everyone else“ i want them to struggle with asignments and get burned out and shit! I wanna see them nit asking for help because „istg if one more person asks me what dont you understand im gonna lose it!“ because „HOW AM I SUPOSED TO KNOW WHAT I DONT UNDERSTAND IF I DONT UNDERSTAND IT?!“ i want to see them react negatively when they meet another kid with adhd thats like them instead of „i fInNaLy FoUnd SoMeoNe ThAt UndErStAnDs mE“ because

„THAT WAS THE ONE THING THAT WAS GOOD ABOUT THIS WHOLE STUFF! I COULD NEVER FIT IN AND THE ONLY THING GOOD ABOUT IT WAS THAT I WAS UNIQUE! AND NOW I DONT EVEN GET TO HAVE THAT ANYMORE“

I want a kid that is of faith but not the same faith that they were raised with.

I want to see a christian kid thats friends with a muslim kid,because w h a t d o i c a r e? Maybe one of us is wrong. Maybe were both wrong. Maybe were both right! There is quite literally no way to find out!

I want to see them both struggle because the musilm kid hears shit like

„you realise that r the same ppl that k!ll3d ourlikes back in the day..“ (but why r they so nice then?) from one side, and „blah blah are you/ your parents terrorist(s)?“ (where’d u get that idea from) from the other

And the other kid hears „you cant be friends with a blasphemer“ and „you realise that everything you stand for is homophobic and what not“

Even better; give me a GAY christian that goes to church on Sundays and to pride on Fridays!

Give me an abuse surviver that was emotionally manipulated. Someone who thought that was normal. Some one who’s been lied to. Someone who has to change their whole worldview because everything they believed to be fact wasn’t. I want to see them growing into the person that did that to them in the first place BUT AGAINST THEIR WILL! I want them to fight against it! I want them to struggle because they don’t wanna hurt anyone but they know they’re toxic. Not in a „im just a burdain anyways i should go kms“ way but in a genuine way where they do genuinely bad things sometimes without realising it. But they can win that fight and the y D O N T have to become the abuser.

Give me an emotionally traumatised kid. A kid that keeps apologising and that panics when things go to good!

I want to hear the story of a bullying victim that changes school and it actually gets better and they panic about it.

I want them to genuinely believe their new friendgroup secretly has a groupchat without them. I want them to genuinely think people are laughing AT THEM when they r laughing in private. I want them to genuinely believe that no one gets it. I want them to genuinely think certain people dont want to do with them and r just being polite every here and there because „they r so cool! There is no possible way they would actually wanna be friends w me“

I want everything in they’re life to grow to be better but they just dont. They just watch their life improving while they dont heal. The damage is done, the glue is dryed. You cant do anything about it anymore. Its to late.

They genuinely think they cant heal anymore

A gifted kid that struggles more than everyone else and „they must have switched something up! Theres no possible way that my iq is barely 10 under einsteins.“ because they keep struggling.

Gimme a dyslexic kid that doesn’t go „why do i not get this“ but instead „why does everyone else get this??“

Give me a discalculatic kid for whom its the other way around! I don’t wanna see the same thing that every kid has with maths like „dO yOu GuYs ActUaLlY UndErStAnd ThIs??“ no! (They dont prolly but thats just normal) they go „how come i dont understand this when everyone else seems to do it somehow“

A kid with generalized anxiety disorder being misjudged as paranoid. A kid that panics because of the most obscure things. „What if a metheor destroys earth“

If your feeling funny connect it with ocd!

„What if everyone in my family is zombies? I cant just ask them that because if i do they know their cover is up and then they dont have a reason to not do zombie stuff anymore“

(I actually genuinely believed that for three years straight and i had so many panic attacks.)

I dont want then to not ask for help because „thats stupid lol! Everyone will think im a dumb kid woth too much fantasy“ but instead „if i ask for help IT’LL GET WORSE!“

A boy that has everything!

His parents have much money, he’s white (dont experience racism), he’s straight (no homophobia), cis, a boy, has friends, nothing stressful in his life „so why do i feel so damn bad?!“

A kid that digs into their past and theyre grandparents and stuff and find something they just didnt wanna know!

This is the representation i need! I need to see the other representation too but it’s not done with that!

There is so much more that kids think they will never see themselves in when watching tv etc. and they WILL grow to belive that they are wrong or not normal for that if that doesn’t change!

I could go on abt this and maybe i will tbh but in the coments lol

(I didnt do anything abt racism because im a white person and i dont experience it! I dont think i should talk about stuff that i dont know about as much as someone who IS experiencing it does)

#representation matters #representation #mental health #autism #adhd #polyamory #bullying #burnout #nonbinary

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somescenecatholic · 2 years

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vent post

tw: queerphobia, religion, depression, offing

pls help me and dw im not depressed or officidal anymore

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grace culture is being tired of constantly having to hide lgbt stuff (especially this tumblr) from your parents bc theu will lecture you abt how I should hide this stuff

their only reasoning is bc you dont see straight ppl do it

UGH I wish they would actually listen to why! I told my dad and he dismissed it and my mom, i dont remember. I love them sm and im sick of this strain. im done with constantly having to hide in fear of them

like they literally cried when i tried getting a chest binder after they said no (this was literally the most dysphoric point of my life ever and I told them tht and they were just like "well u need to love urself more").

I love being a teen but I srsly cant wait till I get out so I can actually do these things and live how I want to. I have good morals and a good heart so ill be fine.

Mom thinks I'm getting too lost in society, yet thtis same society wants me dead and in hell. Like what???? I told her abt the antimtrans kaws being all over the us and stuff and she said "well what does tht have to do with you?"

IM TRANS, SOME MY FRIENDS ARE TRANS.

Not only tht but human rights should NEVER be repealed! And then she went on and on abt how she helped this person and how she sees herself in me.

Since this is how you are treating an extremely marginalized community, I dont want you in me. I love you and dad so much but I just cant do this anymore. I'm tired of lying and hsving to sit through your speeches abt how I should keep lgbt stuff private bc they would like me to do tht and society may hate it in the future (it already does). I'm tired of lying abt how I agree with you when I completely dont. I'm tired of you saying tht "well God loves everyone" when you really arent acting like tht, actually live your life and truly show His love to everyone you meet.

My dad is the same way execept he's not Christisn (he's Muslim but he doesnt go to mosque) and he looks down on gay/trans ppl bc so much of us have bad mental health. hmm I wonder why?? Its the same thing with Black ppl and other POCs so what are you talking abt?? We're Black so we should know how the other feels! And you're a doctor so you should stop this prejudiced nonsense, please.

I want to actually be able to talk to my parents abt anything and everything and be able to be me. I wish tht I didnt just have God and my friends, but my parents too! I wish tht they actually supported me with this stuff bc all theyre doing is hurting me! They say they love me but when I asked my mom to please use she/they (this was when i was thinking tht i was a demigirl and used she/they), she said "uhh no" and ignored it. only my friends helped. When I told my mom tht I wanted a chest binder, she said "what if its too dangerous and hurts your boobs?". I did research and proved her wrong but she still said no!

srry for the long vent but im just so tired of this. Last night, my mom looked at an image I sent to my brother and friends

this one ^ and she lectured me abt the gay emo pride thing. WHY DOES SHE CARE SM?

For someone who's like "well nobody cares tht youre gay", you care quite a bit. Stop trying to convince me into liking or dating guys and stop trying to force me to not speak abt smth im passionate abt.

"well you havent rlly developed an attraction to guys"

duh obviously, bc I DONT WANNA DATE THEM! Guys are cool as heck and I'd be their best friend but not their gf!

You and dad think im doing this for attention but my entire life, I didnt care abt tht. Even when I was a toddler, I didnt care and made sure you knew! Dont you know me better? You pride me in being your first and being your daughter and you love me alot but if you truly love me, please stop doing this. I wanted to off myself and I was depressed bc of this. You're lucky tht I have a strong relationship with God bc He was the reason I didnt. He gave me wonderful friends and He comforted me through His word.

At the same time, Im afraid to even tell mom and dad this bc I know they'll be absolutely heartbroken and will cry a LOT bc of this. I dont wanna see them cry again bc when I did, I felt like it was all my fault and yeah. I have no clue what to do other than keep this a secret from them until the day I die. And after tht I dont want them to go to hell bc queerphobia goes against all God stands for.

pls help

srry for the long post but ive been holding this back forever. This has gone on for 2 years

#vent post #tw queerphobia #tw queerphobes #lgbt discrimination #queer kids #help please #this is a cry for help #mogai #queer #queer issues #black lgbt #black nonbinary #black xenogender #poc mogai #liom #mogai safe #tumblr

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octal-alchemist · 10 months

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complaininh

hoping praying i can switch my schedule soon. spoke to my manager today, she said somebody on afternoons is quitting so that works for her. not quite sure who it is she means but, neat.

i keep having like. a daily fucking mental breakdown and i am not okay with it. even when I'm okay, my future feels like it has been stolen. i force myself to look at my goals, but they feel pointless and unsatisfying. nothing is good. i live only to talk to other people, but even that can hurt. I can't create right now. i barely want to.

I've been eating a lot, trying a variety of things, desperately hoping something will satisfy this emptiness. it's making me worse. I can't talk about food stuff with anybody though. or about drinking. just in general people in my life are so used to me being uptight, neurotic, and in control - if i mention im struggling w overeating or drinking theyre like "good :) you should eat more." "oh cool, you're drinking again, i missed drinking w you" like hun no... but i dont want to show them how bad it's getting.

these r people i get to see once every few months. so like. i can mask it to be like I'm doing things reasonably for the time we r together so they don't understand. they don't understand that I've been falling the fuck apsrt again. im almost to the point I wouldn't mind being hospitalized again. maybe i need intensive fucking treatment. idk!

my memory has been like a sieve too. every day blends. an ongoing nightmare with bright spots where i get to talk to people.

it's so stupid that I'm making good fucking money but I'm almost as miserable as when i was homeless. at least then i had fucking company.

i normally clean my house daily w a weekly deep clean but somehow it's gotten disgusting all of a sudden. I don't know when i stopped cleaning. I don't want to fix it. im just fucking hiding in bed n trying to brainstorm. how can i fix thisbhow can i fix me. I can't do this alone humans arent meant to be alone but my pride is so damn big. the shit I say constantly on the internet i would never say irl. but theres stuff ive been too scared to say on the internet too.

if i wasn't so scared of guns idve been dead two weeks ago. if i wasn't a coward I'd use the pills i got in march. i want to live though!!!! i really fucking do!!!! but this alone shit is unbearable. I don't even feel like a person. i feel so unworthy of life of living. everyone else seems to be so connected and i can't find my way in. whens the last fucking time i was held? when did i last feel loved? I don't want to chase people away with my insecurities so i bluff like i think im important to some people but its just. so fucking hollow somehow. when i die i will be forgotten in a week. i both want that and im terrified of it. but there's no point in staining someone with my presence after i can no longer see that and feel that so its better if everyone forgets. if this is just a natural thing. expected.

god though last time i tried to kill myself with pills that was so fucking awful and disgusting and they straight up told me it wouldn't have killed me anyway even if i hadn't been taken to the hospital and i dont want to risk failure again it was so fucking expensive anf ruined everu relationship i had for a long fucking minute

blogging shit helps me feel like i can survive, somewhat. reading stories helps somewhat. i feel a little of the love others place into their creative works and it sustains me. i remember that all of my feelings, even the emptiness, I'm sharing these feelings with everybody. but at some point art won't be enough. stories won't be enough. I can't do this forever i need fucking help. i need something to fucking change.

my pride is not that easy to break so im still gonna try and do it independently. idk. make some lists and timetables and organize my thoughts and wait for some fucking. motivation. force myself along because dawn will come.

gotta clean my damn house. figure out how I'll pay the dental bill, if I'm buying plane tickets or not. research local events, classes, costs, times. if it's all in a spreadsheet I'll use it. oh right, fix the room light that's sparking for some fucking reason, I've been lazy so i taped over the switch instead of doing anything. food, I've only got alcohol and desserts and my blood sugars been fucked. hh. this isnt a coherent list exactly but its a start. i have picked myself up before and from worse. and hey, i have some money saved. if i cancel the trip I could even go a few months without working.

n maybe i should just cancel that trip. in this state it would probably be a waste. but maybe ill be better in two months. maybe i need to get the fuck out of here for a bit.

wish I didn't have to make my own decisions

ok editing. i went out of my way to make this message annoying to read hard to get tobthe important point that's dumv of me this is a cry for help tbh . i know yall can't help. i know. im practicing for when i do it irl. but it does bother me that idk if this is read or not if this changes things. if you do read dropping a heart would be appreciated? gonna assume my measures succeeded and nobody read this otherwise

#ramble that topic skips so much im barely following me #cry for help placed somewhere it can only be seen by people who cant help #tw suicide i guess

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roguestarsailor · 2 years

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I HATE BEING THIS OLD AND NOT KNOWING THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’vee been mad at my past self actually. watching stranger things* makes me feel this yearning for my childhood/teen years and wishing i’d done things differently. i sometimes regret how i spent it and now im a loser adult who hadn’t experienced ANYTHING and will never know the feeling of just being carefree. i mean i know why i didn’t do those things but god talking to other people, watching media depict these rich lives makes me soo sad; like i really am wasting my youth. the depiction of teenage love, having sex for the first time, going on dates, quiet glances in class, sooo many of those things i WISSSHHHH happened to me. even in college, i never got up the courage to do any of those things. now im moving to a different city and i’m literally not ready. i feel like a fucken child but im a grown ass woman who has never done anything ever. i have none of these experiences and quite frankly im so ashamed that i don’t--its embarassing!!! i dont want some stupid guy to teach me things; i wish i could have just done those things as a teen and not be so green about everything. i wish i was just normal!! i wish these things just came easily. i wish i could just date a man and enjoy it. i wish i didn’t stress about sex every time i talk to a man in a romantic setting. i wish i knew the feeling of wanting to kiss somebody. i wish i was just normal and did those things as a teen or early 20s. now i’m playing catch up and im really just standing there as everyone moves on with their lives. soo many of my friends just did those things and now theyre in long term relationships and is soo natural for them to just lean on their boyfriends and speak in “we”, “us”, “ours”, picking up random facetime and chatting about the mundane things.....and i really really want that my heart hurts!! i wish i could one day be that open with my feelings and have it reciprocated..

and i think thats it. i didn’t put in the hours to learning how to be with someone and now im solidifying being alone*. like im used to my company and year after year im just learning to be ok with just lil ol me, and its just exhausting trying to anticipate things happening and knowing that i pretty much have to support myself in all capacity of life (figure out how to weather politicians that pride themselves in taking away my rights). i have a responsibility for my family too and i have to factor that in as well. but my god, i fucken wish i could just be normal and be like a lot of girls i know (basically my age or belowww!!!!!!!) who can just settle down w their person and know there is some sort of support and have that companion that they can depend on as they grow through the life stages. and most of them seem liek they actively love their persons too (wtf???)

anywho not feeling great this week. lots of emotions and everything feels like a trigger to me. i feel like an absolute CHILDDD.

*yes i should know my triggers and what to avoid. yes i shouldn’t compare my life to others because mine circumstances are different..but my god i feel like such a stupid slow loser

*everyone at work keeps saying “how young i am” now that im going to SF but these people are also like i met my husbands at 25. yyeah okkk. doesnt help when so many people you know are just settled and live with their partners. honestly, meeting ppl might not be good for me anymore. and by meeting people i mean most of the girlies i’ve met through SAT and we recently had a happy hour w a bunch of them and theyre all just in relationships and thats all they talk about. is just how they can quit their jobs and have their partner supporrt them or how much more money they make than them and tho they are grateful they have that safety net or just having ur default travel buddy, doing shit together, and again “us”/”we”/etcetc. oh god maybe i gotta stop hanging out with these people..,until i sort out my fucked up brain.............i gotta get a therapist holy shit

#amandathoughts

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namuneulbo · 2 years

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week twenty-one

*insert twenty one pilots reference here*

this week was gorg mentally. i havent had this good of a week mental health-wise in agessss. also, ive realized im more emotional than usual. its not just this week but all the time. its a permanent thing now? i cry easily when im by myself. like ill cry multiple times watching queendom for some reason? also finished heartstopper and i was SOBBING. full blown cry sesh. i cried so hard. i would show u a pic but i have more self-respect than that. im so glad its getting two more seasons bc its easily become one of my fav shows. im still watching saiki k but im on season 3 now.

it was either on monday or tuesday but after school i went to the thrift store to look for cds for ms bday. i didnt find anything she listens to but theyve said they wanted a varied collection in their car so ppl can find something they like no matter what genre they like. i got a hole cd and a jimi hendrix cd, both bc the packaging was cute.

i met up w l on wednesday. culture club has ended for now and itll be back next fall (i think??). l came to my place and we did,,,, nothing? both our social batteries were low.

on thursday i had a class in the studio and it was more doable than usual and afterwards i went to buy snacks for fridays sleepover. since our friend group consists of six ppl (me, a, e, l, m, t) we had a rainbow themed (like a pride flag) thingy so i had to buy green snacks. i got a cucumber, chips and some dips and apparently chips were not as unique as i though since three others had chips as well TT

friday! sleepover! i thought id get drunk for the first time but i didnt. i didnt like any of the alcoholic drinks we had TT i suppose its good that i dont like the taste of alcohol? i got to try some from t though and i like that drink quite a lot but it tasted just like a less sweet soda lol

it was a fun sleepover though, at least most parts of it and i was surprisingly unbothered by them being there when i woke up. i tend to just wanna be alone after a sleepover but i was fine w them being there in the morning. i also think i felt more relaxed since we slept at my place. i slept w l, t slept on the couch and e and m slept together ofc. a didnt stay for the night.

l was the last to leave on saturday and they helped me clean up and we listened to some rnb/indie and it was all good. i did hw and then took a ,,,,,, 3 hour break. i made myself a frozen mozzarella pizza and watched the latest ep of queendom. it was the fantastic queendom stages and omg... theyre all so good and i might be biased but WJSNS STAGE!!!!!! pantomime???? omg?????? we got pantomime???? also the stage was insane!1!!!1!!!!

sunday. i woke up at 6.50 am. me and l were meeting up at the studio at 10 am although l was the time optimist she always is and arrived 20 mins late anyways xx i was supposed to record vocals for my school project and we were just about to do so when some thingy stopped working and the music wouldnt stop playing for the speakers... bc u know obviously i cant have the track playing from the speakers when im recording vocals in the same room but for some reason it just wouldnt just go to my headphones? so i ended up showing l wjsns pantomime stage and then we played around w autotune just for funsies. after our booked time was over we went to town and they bought us fries w ketchup and béarnaise <2 ty l! we also saw ls idol sitting on a bench so we sneakily sat a few benches away so we could watch him and his friends.

it was a good week.

sotw: lm.c - ghost heart

#diary #tumblrdiary #namuneulbo

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jaekaicx · 3 years

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so ive had this idea for an amphibia fangame for a lil while now-

(LONG post)

its based around the idea that sometime after anne got sent back to earth, she decides to sneak out one night to visit sasha and marcys bedrooms and poke through their stuff. this causes a bunch of memories to come back to anne through flashbacks while she tries to process everything thats happened and her feelings abt their friendship.

i was thinking itd be mostly a visual novel type thing. maybe with a few small choices, but the story would be mostly linear. thered be around 3 main story beats: a prologue bit w/ anne sneaking out of her house, marcys bedroom, and sashas bedroom. also one of the main mechanics would be looking at one of their bedrooms and clicking on random objects of importance and triggering a flashback sequence.

it came from the idea that anne will probably try to just shove all her emotions down and try to ignore her feelings abt true colors and everything that went down then. especially with what we saw in the sneak peek, anne will probably try to hide her emotions and bottle them up, which is obviously not healthy. so eventually shes gonna have to work through her emptional baggage and try to process everything.

i havent thought through EVERYTHING just yet, just some more major plot points and maybe one or two ideas for flashbacks. nothing too solid yet. but heres a bit more detailed runthrough of the plot

summary - prologue

so it would start off with anne at home. she and her mom are talking outside annes room. her moms concerned abt how annes been handling everything that happened in amphibia but anne keeps brushing everything off. her mom tries to get her to open up, but she keeps dismissing her and eventually shuts herself in her room. after taking a bit to cool off and think anne decides that shes gonna take the night to just ride off her emotions and stop repressing them for once. she also makes an impulsive decision to sneak out and check out marcy and sashas rooms.

anne goes to gather her stuff in her room, and just as shes about to climb out the window, sprig walks in to check on her. hes still rly concerned abt his big sis but he knows he cant stop her. he tries to go with anne, but she tells him she needs to do this on her own. so, sprig lets her go and tries to cover for her while shes gone.

so at this point i’ll probably give the player the choice of whose house to visit first. it doesnt rly impact the story or whatever, but i guess it might have a small emotional impact depending on whose house u choose to go to first??

(quick note: after this bit, there arent too many specific details for the plot and stuff like that. its largely just an overall idea of how the plot is gonna go. and even then, there isnt much to it. i didnt think that far ahead yet, which is why there isnt as much refinement yet. so far i just have general ideas for how annes gonna get to the bedrooms, with a couple of vague flashback ideas. just keep that in mind; this whole thing is still being thought over and planned as im typing this out)

summary - sasha

with sasha, annes still rly conflicted abt how she feels abt her. of course shes still rly hurt by being backstabbed by her twice and swordfighting her as many times. but as much as she hates sasha she cant bring herself to fully give up on sash. she hates her guts but deep down shes still willing to give sash another chance.

there may or may not be a small sequence where anne has to sneak into sashas house, but eventually she works her way into sashas room. im not entirely sure abt the details of sashas house n her family yet. im probably gonna wait for info from s3 until i solidify anything, but for now i do know that sashas family has a big house n theyre probably rich.

so anne goes into sashas room and its been left pretty much untouched ever since annes birthday, save for the few times someone came in to dust things off. again, dont rly have all the details for sashas room, but it kind of has a vibe of controlled chaos, with organized clutter and a bit of a touch of a rebellious teen girl. one detail i do want to have is a calendar opened up to the month the trio disappeared, with annes birthday circled and highlighted so much that its impossible to miss.

the calendar itself might include a flashback. im thinking of also having a varsity jacket and some old stuffed animal be different “artifacts” that trigger their own memories. there’ll be a bunch more, but those are the only ideas i have so far fjsbndnd

summary - marcy

ok so i want to be rly mean about marcys segment: this is going off the theory that marcys parents moved away while the trio was in amphibia.

anne doesnt know this yet tho, so shes in for quite a surprise when she turns onto marcys street to find a realtor sign on the front lawn. the clues are all there: an empty driveway, sign on the lawn, an overall empty vibe coming from the house. but it doesnt completely register at first. its not til anne actually comes up close does she notice the sign.

anne tries to deny it, and decides to prove to herself that “no marcys parents wouldnt do this. theyre not that cruel. im just gonna check marcys room myself.” the front doors locked, so she just goes over to marcys window and climbs in.

but its completely empty.

ok not totally empty, but a lot of marcys furniture and stuff is gone, except for a few stray toys and other “junk.” the home guys (idk what theyre called????) are still kind of in the process of cleaning everything out, so theres still some stuff left here and there around the house. but its still way too empty. and its yet another gut punch for anne.

anne searches the rest of the house a bit more, hoping that shes just hallucinating. but no, marcys parents are really gone. she tried to deny it before, but now she has more of an idea of how shitty the wu parents are. so anne decides to just mope around in marcys old room, checking out the stuff their parents left behind.

maybe she finds an old blanket marcy liked when he was rly young. or an old rubiks cube from marcys vast collection. a cnc figurine, some cards, a pride flag, and old diary? a couple of other old toys, an old report card or two, or maybe even some stray clothes. whatever anne finds, its all thats left of marcy, at least in LA.

it really doesnt leave anne in that much of a better emotional position. she already felt conflicted enough about what happened in true colors and what she found out abt marcy. but seeing even a small glimpse of what marcy was dealing with, it just makes her more confused. marcy was such a sweet kid! theres no way they couldve done anything wrong. yet here anne was, betrayed by both of her childhood friends.

only now is anne really taking the time to process the fact that marcy essentially kidnapped her and sasha with the calamity box. he didnt mean to do it, and theres no way they couldve known the box would actually work, but it doesnt completely excuse marcy. his actions still hurt anne and sash, and while they meant the best of intentions, it didnt rly come through that way.

and now marcy was dead. stabbed in the back by the newt king.

and now annes curled up in an empty bedroom, wrapped up in one of marcys old blankets, trying to wrap her head around her feelings about marcy while reminiscing in the past.

summary - extras/epilogue??

i kind of like the idea that anne ends up drifting off in which ever bedroom ended up being the second one she visited. she slowly comes back to consciousness, with her surroundings feeling somewhat familiar, only to wake up in horror bc “OH SHIT I FORGOT TO GO BACK HOME” im not completely sold on the idea tho bc it feels a bit abrupt and like too much of a tone shift?? idk it doesnt feel exactly right

but anyways, im also playing around with the idea of a small epilogue scene with the calamity trio hanging out in annes room, a good amount of time after amphibia ended. dont know what theyre doing in there, but theyre just chilling and feeling a bit nostalgic i guess.

but uh yeah thats pretty much what ive got for the overall idea. it doesnt feel too out of reach, but somethjng like this would definitely be ambitious. i could mayyyybe handle writing out the vn and drawing the character sprites, but i have no idea how to code a vn or draw detailed backgrounds, both of which would be pretty important to this fangame fjsndj. so i might consider having help with this.

THIS ISNT ANY SORT OF PROMISE OR WHATEVER. id rly love to follow through and make this fangame a thing, but im not making any guarantees. i have no idea if i’ll actually follow through, but i would definitely love to.

who knows. maybe in like a couple years this might actually become a thing. but for now i have no idea

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tf-vigilante · 4 years

Text

A better life

Hi guys ! After years of reading exciting stories from other authors, I decided to start writing by myself. English is not my native language so I'm sorry if I make mistakes. Feel free to comment, react and make suggestions for the future ! Any feedback is appreciated.

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My existence and my origins are a mystery. For most people I do not really exist... I think that I am more a power that has become consciousness by itself, an entity whose purpose is to transform, to make the world as it should be, or rather as I wish it to be. I am particularly powerful to transform men into what they deserve. I take pleasure in trapping them, punishing them by transforming them into another version of themselves. But not often the one they would like...

Will (on the left) and Dan (on the right) had decided to work out together at the local gym that evening. They had been buddies since high school and now in college theyr were the two kings of their little town. Popular and charismatic, they were also arrogant, disdainful, true bullies and terribly homophobic.

I watched, invisible and ethereal like a ghost, the two young men doing their workout. Then I followed them to their car, thinking about how to use my powers over them. With malice I took possession of the car radio to talk to them directly with a robotic voice.

Good evening gentlemen, I will now cancel your status as an oppressive alpha male in order to restore peace and balance in your environment.

“What the fuck is that ?” asked Dan while driving.

“I fuckin dunno bro. “ answered Will. “I’ll turn it off !” He tried, in vain.

You are not allowed to stop the process. I detect that most of your pride comes from your muscles and athletic habits... starting physical changes... starting reality adjustment...

Suddenly the two friends could feel a wave of weakness running through their bodies. With painful creaks, their bodies began to shrink, both in muscle and size. Years of gains form working out disappeared. I mischievously watched the biceps, abs and pecs diminish in volume. The muscles were deflating like balloons and the bones were cracking.

“What’s happening ? Dude stop the car !” The poor Will was looking at his now thin arms, horrified and on the verge of crying. Funny how it is easy to break strong and fearless boys with that simple change...

“I... can’t... need to drive back home...” Dan was the dumbest of the two. I could force him to continue drving without breaking a sweat. I’m a nice spirit, his car seat came closer to the steering wheel by itself to allow him to drive even with his smaller body. Talking about the car, it also had to change. The boys were too focused on their bodies to realize that the car interior was also smaller to suit their future life. The loud black Jeep soon transformed into a cute blue Fiat 500. In the back of the car, the two gym bags vanished without a trace. In mere seconds, their sportswear changed into casual clothes, a simple t-shirt and jean shorts. Then I took a break in the changes for the rest of the drive back home, leaving them shocked, lost, screaming in fear for the loss of their precious pride...

20 minutes later, they arrived at Dan’s small flat. Will ran to the bathroom to see the damages in the mirror. I followed Dan in his living room / bedroom. It was a stereotypical jock room : messy with stuff and clothes everywhere. This wouldn’t do for my projects for them. I took control of the TV and turned it on. I appeared on the screen as a handsome news presenter

Tonight our guest is Daniel ! But I’m affraid he doesn't deserve any applause for his disgusting flat. I am committed to turning this into the perfect love nest. What do you think of that?

Terrified, Daniel unplugged the TV and my face disappeared from the screen, which turned black again. But the mischief was done, and soon the whole flat grew larger with extra rooms and much cleaner. Photos of the two young men appeared at some places. Fearing a mental breakdown of my two subjects, I instantly change their reality. They are now living together under the same roof. Daniel knew something was wrong. In his mind, a part of him was screaming to run, to flee before it was too late... But he couldn’t.

Will came out from the bathroom, confused and demoralised. They looked into each other's eyes and the magic took effect. The two young men were captivated and mesmerized by this sight. Their homophobic personalities were fighting against new feelings for each other. Daniel suddenly felt the need the need to reassure his friend :

“I’m so sorry I don’t know... how to reverse this...” He was about to stop talking but words came by themselves “Babe come into my arms it will make you feel better...”

As they were getting closer and closer, I could feel their willingness to resist. Daniel was already asking himself why he called his buddy “Babe”. They were slowly starting to become a cute couple I told myself when they started cuddling.

Their homophobic beliefs were infuriated and disgusted by this scene. But they were slowly fading, already in passenger seat of the boys’s life. I turned my attention more specifically to Will. He was the worst of the two in his previous life. I needed to make sure to break his spirit. In Daniel’s arms, Will or should I call him Willy now, started to feel more sumbmissive and dependent on Daniel. Before meeting them, him and Daniel were both 23 yo. I took 5 years of age from Willy to gave them to Daniel. Now Willy was 18 yo and Daniel 28.

Willy was a teenager who just graduated from high school but he was madly in love with Daniel for a year already. He moved in with his boyfriend only last week. I gave Willy a beta male personality, seeking guidance, attention and security from his boyfriend. Daniel worked as a chef in a local restaurant now...

They kissed with fondness and passion for quite a while. I was proud of my first achievement with this cute couple. Willy moaned with pleasure when he felt his boyfriend’s beard stubble on his neck.

“I will cook us a nice meal for dinner honey.” Said Daniel with kindness.

“Can I stay with you ? I love watching you cooking !” answered Willy with a much higher voice than before. Shrinking his adam apple was a nice addition for him.

“Of course my little koala. Come here...”

Willy then lowered his hand under his boyfriend’s underwear and started to jerking off the hairless dick. “Mmm a little Willy will have a tasty whipped cream for dessert...” continued Daniel with a sensual voice.

I left them at their new life. Some straight remnants in their minds were still fighting but they wouldn’t for long. I liked leaving them knowing that by my powers they became the kind of men they hated. But the world will be a better place with Daniel and Willy than with Dan and Will...

#maletf #reality change #mental change #straight to gay #straighttogay #transformation #cute #first story

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anakinthetrashking · 4 years

Text

BnHA One-Shot Fic Recs (pt1)

Making some fic-rec posts has been on my to-do list for a while and I’m finally doing it, yay! Currently I have 6 word doc pages full of just BnHA recs. So I’m splitting them up by length and completion, so first up is (part one of) one-shots! Let’s go!!!

Lets start with some classic Izuku and DadMight!

Pictures, Posters and Tender Beauty by ProPinkist (tumblr: @dazais-guardian-angel ) Rating: G Category: Gen ~4,400 words Summary: Izuku has virtually every All Might-themed item out there, and prides himself on all of it, as Toshinori is well aware. However, somehow, the boy still decided that there was something vital missing. This is fluffy and very cute. No one truly appreciates All Might as much as Izuku does, but 1A comes close. All Might deserves all the love, and this fic truly provides!!!

Dear Mr. All Might by QuizzicalCrow (tumblr: @quizzicalcrow ) Rating: G Category: Gen ~5,000 words Summary: As the #1 hero for decades, All Might has collected a lot of fan mail over the years. Toshinori tracks down a series of letters that only now, years later, does he appreciate for their significance. I always love the thought of All Might looking through his fan mail, even if he can’t get to all of it. This was a wonderful glimpse into that AND it was made to be so, so personal and sweet. Go have some heart-healing fluff.

Growing Pains by LordofLies (tumblr: @theangelofchildren ) Rating: G Category: Gen ~5,900 words Summary: Izuku finds himself changed by his encounter with the Hero Killer, but changes of a more physical kind are in store for him as he begins to truly accept One for All as his own. Once, he would have been thrilled to look more like All Might, but now those connections are as much a source of anxiety as they are of pride.Or, Izuku wakes up one morning and sees the world through different eyes. Izuku having anxiety and Toshi being there to help him through it and calm him down? Sign me UP. Its also a pretty cool take on how One for All is able to change things about it’s holder. Could this happen in cannon? Who knows.... Regardless, it was a great read!

I’ll Carry You Home by Renesvetta Rating: G Category: Gen ~2,700 words Summary: While training with All Might, it wasn’t uncommon for Izuku to be so exhausted at the end of the day that he unwittingly fell asleep without regard for where he was. It consequently became part of All Might’s routine to help his young protégé home. During that time, Izuku may have let loose more than one sleepy confession towards his mentor. Yes, it is as adorable as it sounds. Its tagged with “self indulgent Dad Might fluff” which is both accurate and appreciated. In other words: Superb you funky little writer!

Simple Gifts by QuizzicalCrow Rating: G Category: Gen ~6,700 words Summary: One year ago, Izuku received the greatest gift he could ever imagine. Now he’s determined to return the favor for the one responsible for it all with a gift of his own. First off, I love the idea of Izuku and Toshi quietly celebrating the anniversary of passing on OfA from All Might to Izuku. Even just taking the day to hang out with each other. It’s a really precious idea. But there’s not just fluff! Izuku finds himself in a fight, again. (cool villain quirk, too!) I love all of the small details that are in this fic (and in Crow’s other works, too!) anyway its exciting AND very heartwarming, so go read it!!!

Affectionate by Sevi007 (tumblr: @sevi007 ) Rating: G Category: Gen ~2,600 words Summary: Toshinori starts to show affection very easily around his students. The reactions he gets for that are not quite the ones he had anticipated - well, not all of them, at least. Toshi is LOVED, APPRECIATED, and 1A feels like HOME. how many times can i say “cute” and “heartwarming” on this post?? bc these are some amazing writers, whom I adore, and their writing makes my heart WARM. AND. FUZZY. i mean, even just the first few paragraphs of this one just, really sets the scene of what i like to believe the 1A dorm is (on a good day, lol). its a really nice read, so go treat yo’ self by reading it.

paint me in trust by dinomight Rating: G Category: Gen ~6,400 words Summary: The first mark Izuku gets is a slight brush of green across his temple. It’s the soft touch of a mother holding her son for the first time. Inko has one to match, the same shade of green staining the tips of her fingers. Hers is more noticeable; Izuku’s tends to blend into his hairline. He loves it anyways. He has to. It’s the only soulmate mark he has. (Or: how Izuku goes from just green to a rainbow, UA-style.) Ok, so this fic sort of plays off the idea of soulmates, and does not fit in with soulmates in the usual form of the trope. First off its completely platonic. Its categorized as Gen and sticks to that. Also it doesn’t seem to be as obligatory and permanent as you would think it would be. It seems to be more of the universe telling you who has the possibility of being important in your life. I really really loved this, it was so adorable and gives you that sweet, sweet Izuku angst, before healing your heart with the power of friendship and found family!!!

The Die Has Been Cast by ChiwiTheKiwi (tumblr: @chiwithekiwi ) Rating: G Category: Gen ~5,400 words Summary: “There’s something about that kid you aren’t telling me, isn’t there?”When no answer meets him, Shouta tries again.“You know something about Midoriya’s quirk that you haven’t shared with me. Is that right?”(Or: A canon "What If" surrounding the latest manga events and focusing on Aizawa finally making a connection.) First off, this fic has spoilers for the manga, so dont read unless you’re past chp212! I loooooooove OfA reveal fics, especially when it’s Aizawa that finds out. He deserves to know!!! its kind of important!!!! This fic chooses a great moment to work off of, and does a great job with Aizawa’s character. I really enjoyed it and couldn’t keep myself from going back and reading it just now LOL

These last two are actually two-shots, but it makes it an even 10! also Izuku and dadmight, so we can continue the theme here...

Some Unspoken Thing by LittleKy Rating: G Category: Gen ~7,900 words (2chps) Green, Toshinori has always thought, is the color of life anew.(Or: It's time for Yagi Toshinori to finally accept that he has a son, now, in all but blood. It's time for Midoriya Hisashi to accept that as well.) YES ALL MIGHT! ADMIT THAT IZUKU IS YOUR SON! great portrayal of the characters and really hits the nail on the head for DadMight. and Izuku in this story is just the smallest green floof that you wish to give a hug. NEVER MIND ALL MIGHT, YOU TOOK TOO LONG SO IZUKU IS MY SON NOW AND IM NOT GIVING HIM BACK ( no but seriously i want to hug this fic its so cute TTuTT )

LAST BUT NOT LEAST! I See You by BirdAntlers (tumblr: @aarymk )

Rating: G Category: Gen ~15,400 words (2chps) Midoriya Izuku is a quirkless child, blind from birth. Yagi Toshinori is the most powerful man in the world, loved by millions. They could not be more different, and yet their loneliness is the same. (From a pair of AU posts on Tumblr that got way out of hand; I wanted to put it here because it turned into more of a fic than a "what-if." Basically a vessel for me to vomit as much Dadmight as I can.) Hey, you! Yeah! You! Do you want to cry? Do you want to start sobbing in a public space?? Do you just want to be destroyed with words and be left there kneeling at the feet of a writer who has torn out your heart and stomped on it before they gently wipe the tears from your face? Yeah?? y oU Wan NA D IE??? READ THIS AND GET REKT. you’ll thank me later

(under the cut is just me rambling, i kept all the important stuff up here, ur welcome)

Now that the actual recs are over I can rant here- look i really tried to slim my recs down, but i have almost 300 bnha fics bookmarked,some of them are “to read” or theyre in progress, etc but i managed to get this list sorta slimmed down? a little?(to only 58!!!) but as i was gathering this post together it felt like i dont have very many Dadmight recs on that list??? but i havent rechecked all the other fics i was just going through the oneshots. i... kinda read a lot more fics with AIzawa in it instead. it be that way. DadMight content is SO GOOD. but my fav is aizawa im sorryyyyy anyway i have another SEVENteeN oneshots to put in rec posts and that does NOT include the mulitchapter and friikin series and stuff... and like i said this is aaaaaaallllllllllllllll BnHA. batfam fic posts will come after, and then star wars, and then maybe star trek? we’ll see. i have a very specific taste in ST fics and that is Tarsus IV whump. which. i have not read in a while. when they say “that trope came from ST” for sooooooo many tropes, you WISH other fandoms had tarsus as a trope, holy crap it is TOP TIER angst fodder. if you love to write/read whump, angst, and h/c i would HIGHLY recommend that you take a bit of time and explore the content and stories there. heck maybe i will make a ficrec post for just tarsus angst. ok.

my INTENTION is to edit these posts later with little links to the other fic rec lists so that itll be easier to find. but., its me, so itll either happen in painful detail or not at all

asdjkdgh its 2:30am and i need to sleep and not be rambling incoherently again I WILL SAVE THIS AS A DRAFT.

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fictionalpeoplecompleteme · 3 years

Note

I’m a bisexual girl and I’m in love with Julie so I was wondering if maybe u could write one where the reader thought she was straight but slowly realizes she’s bi and in love with Julie, reader comes out to parents and when they don’t accept she runs to Julie and they kiss and it’s kinda angsty but then BAM fluff

Title: Valid

Request: Yes / No

Word Count: 3234 (!!)

Warnings: homophobia !!, probs not well written angst omg

(A/N): not me saying im back and not being back i hate myself. yall, there’s no schedule i just post whenever im like, active and thats a really bad habbit that i should NOT keep doing istg. also au where the band never died, but theyre never mentioned. anyways ty ty TY to the sweetie who asked for this ! i literally squealed when i read this request. not this being 3k words umm help

You had your moments. Those weird moments where you didn’t know what you were feeling, especially to the person you were feeling those emotions to. Like this one time where it was a normal day watching Disney Channel and eating pizza (basically living the dream) and then a new movie popped up. “Teen Beach Movie” was the film, and let me tell you, when you saw Butchy AND Lela wearing leather, let’s just say you were confused why felt his way for both of them... it wasn’t right.

No, of course it was right ! You had these feelings for both genders, and your feelings were valid, so why wasn’t it right? Well, it was a simple answer.

Your parents.

Of course, they didn’t down right say they hated the lgbtg+ community. Although they might as well have downright said that they did, because with the things they say,

“Why do they get a whole MONTH of pride?”

“Ugh, the gays are making it EVERYTHING about them.”

“Do they have to do that in public? Couldn’t they have waited until they got home?”

“Why would they put that in tv?! The kids are gonna watch that and think that they’re gay!”

Obviously you heard their views, and when you started to realize you somewhat fit in their hate demographic, you “decided” that you weren’t going to. And that’s how it has been for a long time.

RIIINNGG

Ugh, another school day.

“Kill me now.”

You got up your very comfortable bed, and did your daily routine. After you were finished with that and dinner, you were dropped off at the infamous Los Feliz High School. You were then greeted by your best friend, Octavia.

“Hey bestiee.” you joked.

“Hey rat.” Octavia said with the same energy.

“So, did you finally finish atla last night?” you asked.

“Of course! To have a chance to see my husbands is a chance I’ll always take. Even started watching tlok! Mako does looks scrumptious not gonna lie.” she said, doing that weird tucking her hair behind her ear and having a look of thirst on her face. Its the fact that she basically always does that for me.

“Not you finishing atla AND starting tlok the very same night. I don’t think that’s normal.” you said shaking your head.

“Lets just say that if I get diagnosed with insomnia, don’t be surprised.”

“I don’t think anyone would be.” you said while the both of you are putting your supplies in our locker.

“ANYWAYS, I’m sorry for you getting moved to Mr. G’s class. I know he can be very mean.” Octavia said sympathetically.

And it’s all true. Mr. G is basically known for being modern day Snape, favorites and all (especially to the popular kids). Considering you were fresh meat to his class, you were not looking forward to the inevitable insults.

“Ugh, don’t remind me. I can NOT stand the fact that I wasn’t even in his class in the first place, thinking I was safe, and then I got moved!” you yelled.

“I know, I know.” she said while putting her hands on your shoulder. “(y/n), if he even BREATHES in your direction, just tell me and I swear the next time I see him its on sight.” Octavia said with a very stern look on her face. “Honestly I can’t believe that the principle wouldn’t fire him, he has enough complaints for at least a suspension.”

“O, what would I do without you? And besides, don’t blame her. She genuinely tried to fire him. But I heard that he lawyered up to the point where he was basically untouchable.” you said.

“We lost.” “We truly did.”

Right after that conversation, the bell rang.

“Good luck (y/n)! I love you !!” said Octavia while going to her 1st period class.

“I love you too!” you yelled back.

Oh lord. Please please make this class bearable.

You walked to the door, and took a deep breath. As you went inside, not one second went by as you already got a taste of his scrutiny.

“Well well, if it isn’t the newbie! (y/n) (y/l/n). Just pick an empty seat as that’ll be the only way you’ll get someone to sit next to you.” he chuckled

You wanted to die right then and there.

And it got worse as the whole class seemed to find that insult funny, considering that they all laughed.

“O m gosh, Mr G. That was your best one yet!” said Carrie. Of course she had something to say. Not one situation where she kept her mouth shut and yelled her commentary to everyone in the room.

You shuffled your way to the back of the class, to find an empty seat next to this girl. She looked familiar, but not to the point where you knew her name. Though you wished you had. She looked quite.. pretty. With her amazing hair, and her beautiful eyes. Not to mention her face in general..

NO !

No. Of course you had these thoughts of her, she’s just naturally pretty, anyone would’ve thought that. You then put your backpack behind the seat and proceeded to sit down next to her. A few moments passed of you sitting next to the girl, until she said,

“Sorry about that. Mr G. can be very mean sometimes to everyone, -not that that’s okay!” she stuttered. “It’s just, don’t take it personally.”

“Er- thanks.”

“I’m Julie by the way! What’s your name?”

“I’m (y/n).”

“Nice you (y/n)! With each other, I promise you, we can get through his class.”

You smile at her. And Julie smiled back. of course she had to be nice too!

“Well Ms. (y/n), Ms. Molina, talking in my class? I’m not even mad, just surprised! Ms. (y/n) actually found someone to talk to!” said Mr. G.

Aaand of course, he has something to say again.

“I’m surprised she has anything to say at all, considering the amount of times you had already talked down to her. Just simply leave her alone.” said Julie with assert.

You were shocked to say the least. And it showed to, having a look of disbelief all over your face.

“Um, wel- uh, Ms. Molina, keep that mouth closed, if you don’t want to spend your lunch in detention.” said Mr G.

You were honestly very glad that she stood up for you in that moment. A little too glad, because in that time, the feelings started to flood in.

Of course, why wouldn’t it! She was just simply nice to you and you had already developed whole feelings for her! But was it exactly bad? Sure, your parents deemed that it already was, but that didn’t mean that you had to. This is who you were, a human being with valid feelings, and there was nothing wrong with that. So with this whole situation, you said with a big smile,

“Thank you.”

Hey, you never said you were good at speaking with other people. But I don’t think it mattered to Julie, because she had returned your smile, and in that moment you realized you can find yourself deeper in love.

The two of you really had bonded during class time. Sure, you can say that you both flirted but you were never really good at figuring that out, even when you were flirting with boys (it had always been Octavia’s job to figure that out.) But considering the things she said to you.

“I love your hair!”

“You have very nice hands.”

“Your eyes are a beautiful shade of (y/e/c).”

After class, you both knew that you liked, liked each other. But that's where the hard part came in, actually confessing. To be totally honest, you could barely manage confessing to a boy, imagine with Julie? Although you were happy to know that Julie had already thought about this, because when you both walked out the door, she took your hand and guided you to the music room, where the both of you were alone.

Both of you were facing each other. You could tell she was nervous, cause she was playing with her hands, and didn’t seem to try to make eye contact with you.

“(y/n), I know we just met this class,” she said, both chuckling, “but would you like to get coffee with me sometime?”

Oh boy, she actually asked you out! Don’t get you wrong, you were happy! In spite the fact that you had your parents to worry about. So with that, knowing all that was at risk, you still said with full confidence,

“I would love to.”

Julie gave you the biggest smile you had yet to see. She moved a strand of hair out of your face and then proceeded to hold your hands.

“It’s a date! How about at 4 after school?” she said.

“The perfect time.”

After exchanging numbers, you both felt ecstatic, the both of you just left the room with the biggest grin. You couldn’t believe that you had gotten a date with Julie! Now I know that you’re gonna say that you should’ve told Julie about your situation with your parents, but she looked so happy that you couldn’t possibly have ruined the moment with that.

After that amazing moment, you had managed to spot Octavia in the hallway. You walked up to her like you normally would, though this time you had a scared expression. You had never come out before. Though you thought the possibility of keeping this from your parents, this wasn’t something you could keep from her. So walking up to her, you just blurted out the truth, without a second thought.

“Hey! How was Mr-.”

“I’m bi!”

She seemed stunned after a second, but only a second as she bursted out laughing out of nowhere.

“Um-”

“Oh my gosh, the way that was the way you came out to me! It’s the disorganization for me.” said Octavia, while wiping her tears away.

“Wait-, you don’t care?” you asked confused.

“Do you want me to be bothered or something?” she asked in a more sarcastic tone.

“Well no- it's just- I don’t know, I was just scared I guess.”

“Listen,” she said sternly while again putting her hands on your shoulders as a way to comfort you. “I will love you no matter who you love. Understand?”

“And I you. The problem is my parents. I know what they think of people like me, and it’s not good. How am I going to survive this ughh.”

“They’re your parents, I’m sure it’ll be a shock to them, but if they truly love you, they’ll accept you.”

“Thank you Octavia, what will do without you?”

“Hey, that’s what I’m here for.”

After you finally finished your classes, you nervously went to the front of the school to wait for your mom to pick you up. You felt so nauseous, to the point where you were sure that you were going to throw up right there. After waiting for 5 minutes, your mom pulled up. You got in the car and you felt so nervous that you were just silent the whole car ride. Your mom for sure took notice.

“Hey sweetie, you’re alright?” said your mom.

“Yeah, I just don’t feel so well.”

“Oh, are you alright? Did you eat something bad maybe?”

“Yeah, probably something during lunch.”

And after that the conversation fully stopped as your mom noticed you were not in the mood to talk.

You finally got home and you felt even worse than before. You dreaded this moment, and just felt like passing out. As you got inside, you quickly went inside your room, not bothering to say hi to your dad. You put your stuff on the ground and just started to really think about this.

They’re my parents! Like Octavia said, they should still accept me, I’m their child. And if they don’t? They have to, right?

Right?

You finally built up the courage to go outside your room and go to the kitchen, where both of you parents were.

“Mom, dad? I need to tell you something.” you said, basically shaking.

“Sure, what is it sweetie?” said your dad.

And without a second thought, you just blurt it out?

“I’m bi!”

It was dead silent. And that scared you.

The part that truly scared you? Hearing the words that you had been dreading to hear.

“You’re pranking me, right?” you dad chuckled, as if it was a joke.

That’s when you started to get a little irritated. You knew how your parents were, so this reaction was inevitable. So considering all the preparation, you still got mad.

“Why would this be a prank?!” you said with an “attitude” (that’s what your parents would say at least, although you were just simply defending yourself).

“Honey, as much I love you, this isn’t natural.” said your mother with a normal tone, which you could argue was just as scary as an angry tone.

“If you actually loved me, you would accept me as I am!” you said, starting to actually get aggrieved.

“Don’t yell at your mother like that!” said your father, who actually stood up from his chair.

“I wouldn’t need to be yelling, if you would actually accept me for who I am, not all this!”

“LISTEN, I’m sure this is just a phase. You either change your ways or you are no longer considered my daughter! No daughter of mine would feel such a disgusting thing!” your father yelled.

That’s when you lost it, you knew that no matter what you did, they would never change their way. That’s why you just let it out, because they would never change their way, so why not just let it all out?

“You know what?! I’m going to leave! I rather be homeless than to live in a house with you two! My two parents who don’t even accept me, WHO DON’T MAKE ME FEEL LOVED OR VALIDATED!” you yelled.

At that point you were shaking and crying. With the anger that you were feeling inside you didn’t even think to get any clothes or basic necessities, you just grabbed your phone and just ran out with your parents yelling your name. But you didn’t care, you were not going back there, that’s for sure.

After that horrible fight, you went to a park that was near your house. You went inside a private bathroom that was thankfully unoccupied, cause if it wasn’t, you were pretty sure that you would’ve broken down right then and there. Once you had gone in there, you surprisingly didn’t cry. You just held it in, and really thought about your situation. You realized that it was pretty stupid of you that you didn’t get your belongings and then left the house. Oh! And that you were pretty much homeless.

After a good thinking session, you did the most sensical thing you could do in that situation.

You called Julie.

Now I know what you’re thinking! ‘Why Julie, why didn’t you call Octavia instead?’. Well it was pretty simple, you just desperately wanted to see Julie. You pressed on her contact, not really knowing what was coming with it. What if she thought you were weird? What if she laughed at you? What if she felt weirded out with you and then blocked your number? What if-

“Hello?”

“Julie?” You sounded pretty distraught, so it wasn’t surprising when she sounded concerned herself once she heard your voice.

“Hey, is everything alright?”

“Julie, this might sound really weird, but something really bad happened and you were the only person I could think to call! If you’re busy I’m sorry I won’t-”

“Hey! I’m sure everything’s going to be fine. Where are you?”

You took a deep breath, you were just thankful she didn’t block you right then and there. “I’m at the park in (street name).”

“Okay, just stay right there and I’ll come and get you.”

When the call ended, you walked out of the bathroom and sat on swings, waiting for Julie. After you waited, for what seemed an eternity, you saw her.

Julie.

She spotted you in the swings, and gave you the sweetest smile. She walked closer to you and stretched out her hands, which you took. After just staring at each other, she gave you the biggest hug, which (not gonna lie) you just really needed. Much to your disappointment, she let go of you, she swung an arm around you, and started walking to her house. The both of you didn’t say anything, but you guys didn’t need to, the peaceful silence was nice.

The both of you then arrived at her house. That’s when you started to panic, you weren’t looking forward to bother her family.

“Are you sure we can go in the house?” you asked

She gave you a chuckle, “I think we can go to my house.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to bother any-”

“Hey.” She proceeded to grab your hands and then moved to cup your face. “Everything’s going to be okay, my dad and brother aren’t home, and even if they were, you would absolutely be greeted with open arms.” she said,

You both went inside the house and then inside Julie’s room. She motioned to sit on her bed and you did. She sat next to you and then held your hand, intertwining with each other.

“It’s okay, you can talk to me.”

You took a deep breath, and just let all your feelings out. “It’s just my parents were never really supporting of the lgbtq community, so it was stupid of me to actually think they would have any other different reaction. And the fact that they would react like that? To say such cruel things? I just..- I don’t know, is it wrong for me to feel bad?”

“They’re your family, of course you would have this sensation of feeling bad. But I just want you to know that they’re in the wrong, not you. Any sane person would think that, everyone just wants to be accepted. Just know this,” she said while leaning closer, your hands still intertwined. “you are valid, so many people love you no matter who you love.” she said while moving a strand of hair out of your face.

You continued to smile, but looked into Julie’s eyes with so much adore. And the best part was, she was looking at you the exact same way.

Without a second thought, you decided to just go for it. You kissed her. The kiss was passionate, and sweet. Julie then gave soft kisses to you cheeks and knuckles, murmuring comforting words such as “it’s okay” “you’re alright” “i’m here”.

After pulling away you both looked at each other, and then you offered your favorite pastime.

“Can we go to sleep? I just wanna sleep the stress away.”

Julie chuckled and then agreed. You both got into a position of Julie laying down while your head rested on her chess, and her holding you. While you were half asleep, you said those three words,

“I love you.”

You were half asleep, so you didn’t understand the severity of the action, but before you fully drifted, you heard these words coming out of her mouth.

“I love you too.”

Taglist (link in bio!)

@noncannonships @mandiscadelinha @yoyokzzz @twist3dtinkerbell

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #julie molina #julie molina x reader #julie molina x oc #julie molina imagine #netflix #jatp imagine

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poppedthep · 3 years

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The power dynamic between the girls is so well done cause I wasn’t sure if I was just super kinky and reading into things, or if it was a hint at things they might get up to when they’re older! I’m rly excited to see how it develops, cause atm they’re baby lesbians in gay panic mode lmao

But damn in chapter 16 when aurora was like “do u want me to wear a label that says I’m ur property?” (Obvs in better words) and in their heads theyre both like ha ha jk…… unless….? 👀 Except aurora is oblivious and confused abt how she feels, and tayce is slightly more aware.

Also, ik you’ve lost a bit of ur motivation for this story (VERY understandably!!), but I rly hope u continue if ur able to, cause ur writing is so good! Like ur super talented, and even if u continued the HP au, but with ur own characters I’d 1000% still read :)

Ahahaha I love that journey for you! Honestly I was worried that collar metaphor might have been too on the nose so I'm glad it was working for you. 😂🤟

They are very much baby lesbians in gay panic, it's a fun time. 🥳 In terms of both queerness and kink I think that period where you start having ideas that you know you like or sort of seem intriguing but you haven't connected why you like them or what it is about them is so interesting to me! Or even looking back as an adult and recognising things you used to think that you had no idea at the time meant anything but now you're like ohhh THAT was definitely THIS. I had planned to kind of skip over the younger years to get to the juicy stuff but since that didn't happen I thought it could be fun to sprinkle in that kinda stuff to see it play out later.

I really hope I can get the love back for it too. 🥺 It was such a huge part of my brain, I miss having a default thing to have endless thought spirals on!! ✨ And it would be a shame to have done all this setting up the sexual/emotional tension and then not end up getting to the bit where it actually gets juicy!! 🙈 It's still early days for me being able to feel sympathetic towards the Aurora character but I did watch the 4 Poofs stuff with A'Whora and there were some things that tickled my imagination bone a bit. So we'll see! Usually when I'm angry about things it fades with time so hopefully this will as well.

(A fun quote that jumped out from that interview for kink was A’Whora on drag being painful- “You know when you really commit to something it’s kind of like satisfying to go through the pain of it.” I hadn’t decided if I could see her as actually a masochist who finds enjoyment from pain or more up for doing anything to please a sadist because the attention/praise she’d get as a result is more satisfying than anything else. I was leaning towards making it more a control/power focussed thing with like servicey and bratty elements than really deriving pleasure from pain. Even though I could def see Tayce as a sadist (I think irl she’s maybe even mentioned it?! Haha. But especially as the Tayce Black character with the House of Black element. Although I also think she LOVES giving pleasure and getting reactions and really prides herself on that and on being nice despite her mischievous impulses - so the sadism would have to be very tied up with knowing the person really enjoys what she’s doing I think?) ANYWAY that quote was potentially interesting for extrapolating how the character might view pain in a relationship she really cares about. .....even though this is all so far down the line from where they are now 😂)

That's such a lovely thing to say about continuing with my own characters! 💖💖Literally a writer's dream to hear, bless your heart!! 🥰🥰😘😘 Tbh I think for me this AU is so wound up in thinking about the girls and extrapolating it from things about them I don't know if I'd be able to separate it out for myself - even though these versions of them are already variations on their actual drag personas that are quite specific to this verse and influenced by HP elements, and - since we're on the topic - my decision to lean into some of the kinky elements later. But thank you for saying that! So sweet of you. 💕

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the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see · 3 years

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i’ve always been jealous of people who are like oh when i heard the word asexual/demi/aro i knew it described me perfectly- like it was never like that for me. you’re so right about trying to fit into a label that i googled and thought eh well close enough. honestly sometimes i feel the world queer isn’t right for me either, but it’s the closest and the most comfortable (like dan mentioned who the fuck invented labels?!! or words?!! i don’t know what the fuck i am!) all this to say i gay

cassie’s a rick stan too, in the beginning of chain of iron she thanks him for letting her use his character name. apparently there’s a nico di angelo in the shadowhunter world. I haven’t read chain of iron yet either though!! i want to read it so bad, but i get the families and characters confused sm lmao.

ahhhHh i’ve seen one of those text memes where magnus is like i hate all shadowhunters and then alec is like hi (this makes no sense i’m sorry lol)

dans video came out! i lost my dinof virginity and daddy dan penetrated me hard with his upload... this is the grossest thing i’ve ever typed out, i hope your proud tree. also i single handedly ruined dan’s pride celebration.

i have so many thoughts about the video but my brain is all sludgy rn so i’ll save them for another ask to save you from reading that mess.

i love you and all our tiny children who randomly pop up on your blog.

mwah! mwah! mwah! (i missed you more so you get three)

also i write these to you right before i go to bed like a little good night letter. that also means most of me is unfiltered indi lol, also kudos to you for always deciphering my typos. i can’t help them i have fat thumbs like daddy dan (okay that was the last one i’m sorry).

i don’t even know what i’m typing anymore but ilysm and you’re so pretty and nice

with a forehead kiss

- indi <3

completely agree, a lot of my friends came out as some form of queer close before and after i did, and they all had specific labels for themselves that they loved, and i was So Jealous of them for already having something they were so comfortable with it, and it made me feel horrible whenever i told them i was changing a label or adding on to something until i quite literally broke down and decided to just use queer bc it was easiest, and then i realized it was "easy" bc i was most comfortable with it. (this led to me crying for an hour on the toilet because why am i so goddamn stupid but technicalities)

oh and that reminded me, i know we havent talked about it recently, but going way back to being queer and having to kind of cut off your heritage, it hits me a lot when im trying to find a name for myself, bc on one hand, i can have an english name and its fine bc its my choice, but i almost feel like im betraying my culture? and i know, deep down, that im not and its fine, but some part of me doesnt believe that. and then on the other hand, the names i find cool, like arjuna or mahesh, work, but then im like do i really want to spend my whole life correcting the pronunciation? bc the thing with picking indian names is that i have to like both the actual way to say it, and the english accent way to say it. and i like Arjuna (even though im not cool enough to pull it off lol) but i dont like the weak way its pronounced by english people. and i definitely like the nickname Aru for it, but i dont like the ahrhoo way english people say it. and i dont want to correct it. and my deadname is telugu and its one where you know what it means immediately, so do i want to carry that theme over to my new name (ex: a name like Anand, or Dharma)? but again, pronunciation. idk im just ranting a bit, ignore me lmao

no yeah, theyre both so supportive of each other!! i just got chain of iron and the dedication says "di Angelo" so maybe a character has that last name? idk, ill read it in a week or so, im super excited!! i get the families and everyone confused but im too lazy to go back and reread so i just suffer 😌 eventually i get enough of a grasp to understand it though, so all's well that ends well

no but thats exactly what happened lmaooo, magnus was like "fuck shadowhunters" and saw alec and was like "...😳 fuck shadowhunters 😏👉🏽👈🏽" and yk, thats valid, alec is a snack tbh. so's magnus but he doesnt need to be told that lmao, he knows.

*sniffs* i am... 😢 so proud 😭 the student has become the master 😓 in all honesty, the video made me cry and i loved it, like there were definitely parts where i was like k move on but the whole thing put together was 😥 im definitely rewatching it at some point (in three years when i have another hour of free time)

feel free to dump i cant articulate anything right now!!

🥰 i love you more, and our tiny children know theres cereal in the kitchen so please dont bother your parents lovelies /j

😊😚 no I missed you more!! *groans fill the air, i am kicked out of the swamp*

🥺 a little good night letter? :(((( thats so sweet, and dw there arent even that many typos (or maybe there are and im too dumb to notice 😌 either one works) (and sTOP)

🥺🥰🤗 thank youuu, but you know you're prettier, and lovely and i love you so much <3

#asks #the tree speaks #indiphannon #my beloved <3

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pompadourpink · 4 years

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hi mum, i recently passed a job interview but due to complications from the company theyre unable to hire me. so now im still jobless. i feel so terrible because my hopes were crushed and prior to them informing me of it i turned down another job offer because i've passed this one. im so lost and sad because ive been trying to find a job since march. plus both of my bestfriends are already working and i feel so left behind. i also feel guilty to my parents because im not earning anything :(

Hello darling,

You turned down an offer, and then the other company had to change their plans for external reasons. That means two different companies looked at you and said Yes, we like this one. You’ll be fine.

1. We are in the middle of an awful pandemic. Now is exactly the time to rest and think about what’s next; that’s what I did back in April when I was in the same situation, and now I’m about to become an entrepreneur. Don’t torture yourself; this isn’t your fault and getting a job now would mean taking risks regarding your health anyway.

2. We all take a different path. Career, house, marriage, kids: you won’t self-destruct if you don’t have certain things at a certain age. Only compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Talk to your parents, make sure they know you’re not acting spoilt. If you feel like it, make a deal that you’ll pay bills for a while when you do get a job to show gratitude.

But don’t let pride make you miserable.

3. Exactly two years ago, I got mononucleosis. I was on sick leave for a month and a half, in agony; until then, I hadn’t taken more than half a day off in my entire life. I was so ashamed of myself I kept apologizing to my manager for not being at the office in the middle of summer.

And you know what? That was stupid. Not only because I had done nothing to get in that situation, but it was just a job. I stayed there for less than a year, was overworked because my coworkers kept delegating, had people talking about me behind my back and lying when I confronted them. I hated that job. We were about 150 people there, most of them said hello to me every single day, yet only two of them, my favourite coworker and my supervisor, called during my leave. That’s when I realised how dumb I had been.

What happened next? One, I got back to work at the end of August, took two weeks off for my birthday in September and flew to Rome. When I got back, I quit. Two, before I went to Italy, I had a discussion with my supervisor, an even more overworked old lady, who stayed late, skipped her breaks to help others, without getting any kind of recognition, while being paid like shit. She was saying how she was so anxious about numbers she couldn’t sleep. I told her that no one there would even consider visiting her in the hospital if she ever had a heart attack. When I got back from my vacation I found her desk empty: she had retired, and later texted me how happy she was, back home, with her garden and her dog.

You don’t have to be productive to be a worthy member of society. You’re on this blog because you’re trying to learn a language; you’re clearly sweet, smart, and willing to do good; surrounded by people who love you. You’re a good person and you deserve to feel good, regardless of the state of your professional life.

It’s a bad moment, not a bad life.

Love,

Mum

#ask #malks

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sortavibing · 3 years

Text

Haikyuu romance matchup

Hii, could i request a haikyuu matchup ive read some of them on your blog and theyre so good.

Im 5'7 with blonde curly hair and a big nose. My body type is an hourglass however im chubby so ive got some a stomach and thiccy thighs and thicc arms and i love them lmao.

Im a taurus and my personality type is estp :)) I’m quite confident in myself and im kinda blunt not a great thing tho LMAO. Im more of an older sibling type of person im the more mature friend in my friend group and i tend not to take risks coz im a scaredy cat lol. My friends also say im quite funny which i take pride in coz if someone said i wasnt funny i might cry.

I like to draw and play sims 4 its my favourite pastime i also study alot because i take pride in my grades but also im blessed enough to be smart naturally. I like music such as kanye west, sza, 2000s, kpop especially twice ong i love them, 70, 80’s and 90’s.

In a partner I’d want someone with a sense of humour and someone who is honest and loyal. Just someone who respects boundaries and loves me for me yknow, I also want PICNIC DATES AND SLEEPOVERS MEIXJSIDJSJZJSJ man I’d do anything for a picnic date.

i kin oikawa which is a very fun 😃👍.

hello! thanks for requesting! please i wish i had good grades :I my 60% in geometry isn’t looking very good rn🤠 anyways, here’s your matchup!

generating matchup…

matchup: complete

i match you up with sugawara!

you and suga are both the mom/older sibling friends of your friend groups, so you guys were drawn to each other with the mutual just annoyance of having to handle so many children. he was really happy to meet you, because you are like the only person that he knows who is somewhat mature and he needs you to stay sane.

you guys often have study dates, and you both actually study pretty well, with light conversation and sappy 80s songs playing in the background to break up the silence. suga usually gets bored of studying if he’s covered everything that he needs to cover, and then he will go over to you and lowkey bother you until you go watch a movie or just vibe with him.

one of your most memorable dates you had with him was an almost perfect picnic date. the weather was warm, and there were like no people at the park you guys went to eat, and all the food was really good. you guys just talked and made stupid jokes the entire time, while trying new food combos and doing the eating a cake out of a glass tik tok trend. the whole date was super chill, but really romantic at the same time.

every few weeks, you guys have a movie night, where you jokingly argue over what movie to watch, and then you and suga try to see who can catch the most popcorn in their mouth (you guys both are pretty bad at it). if you want, you guys will do facemasks, and just laugh and have fun with each other while the movie plays in the background.

one of suga’s love languages is touch, so if you guys are together, he will always have an arm wrapped around your shoulder or waist. his favorite form of pda is when you guys lock pinkies while walking, because it’s a lowkey way of showing everyone that you are his, while still being cute and romantic.

he likes to make playlists for you, and they always are super upbeat and will put a smile on your face just from the pure vibes they give off. if he ever sees you listening to them, he will get really happy that you actually liked it, and then he will add more songs to it just to surprise you the next time you listen to it.

suga likes to draw as well, and will often make small sketches of you and say something smooth like “i tried to make the drawing as pretty as you are in real life, but that’s impossible”, and he will be secretly proud if he gets a reaction out of you. he will keep everything you draw for him, and look at them whenever he is missing you.

you are always able to make him laugh, no matter where you guys are. if you and suga are in the same class, you would be joking around when the teacher was talking, and he would literally laugh out loud, and everyone would hear him. he has gotten in trouble many times, and he always pretends to be mad at you for getting him in trouble, but he really thinks it’s funny to see you try to apologize.

sugawara is your #1 hype man, like you could be doing the simplest thing, or wearing the most boring outfit, and he would tell you that you are a literal goddess and just make you feel like the baddest bitch ever (as you should). if you are ever going to put extra effort into an outfit, he would want to match with you so you guys can be an aesthetic couple together.

overall, you and suga are always able to put a smile on everyone’s faces, especially each others. he loves you so much, and would never think of cheating on you. people envy you guys for the trust you both have in each other, and how aesthetic your dates are. (god tier picnic dates i tell you).

i hope you enjoyed!

#haikyuu #haikyuu matchups #haikyu #sugawara koushi #koushi sugawara #sugawara #suga #haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyu headcanons #haikyu imagines #suga headcanons #suga imagines #sugawara headcanons #sugawara imagines #sugawara x you #submission

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