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shadowshrike · 1 year

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Miyuki Kazuya Appreciation Post

In honor of his birthday this year, here's a little meta about Miyuki Kazuya's traits that I find most interesting (other than his beloved snark) throughout Act I. This is hardly everything, but I wanted to love on him a bit before the day is out!

Please forgive the fan-translated panels, but they're much more accessible for a quick post.

He's forgiving.

Miyuki forgives his father for not consistently emotionally or physically taking care of him. He may not even see it as something to forgive at all due to his family's circumstances.

He instantly forgives Chris for being a jerk to everyone after his injury, still wishing for him to make first string, and even wonders if he could have helped more.

He gives Zono an olive branch in the game immediately after their fight in front of the team, never once blaming him for causing a scene, laying hands on him, or damaging morale.

He forgives Tanba for not working with him as the ace. After being snubbed repeatedly as the starting catcher, he's excited when Tanba asks for him to catch, and is the first to back up Tanba's ace speech to the coach directly before the injury happens.

Even as a kid, he doesn't seem to hold a grudge against or tattle on the guys who beat him up in junior high. He just greets them at practice the next day (cheekily) and remains focused on holding onto his position no matter what.

He's (mostly) selfless.

Even though he can seem like a jerk about it, Miyuki gives up a ton of time to his pitchers even before he's captain. He doesn't mind being hated or misunderstood if it gets them the win, however he gets extremely frustrated with selfish people, notably Mei, Eijun re: Chris, and pitchers shaking off signs because they want to duel the batter one-on-one.

It's true that he's unabashedly ambitious when it comes to baseball. However, Miyuki dismisses internal wants that aren't for the good of the team, such as getting to play with Chris on the first string or worrying about his future health when Koshien is on the line. The only thing he truly refuses to give up is his position as catcher.

He's a caretaker.

Miyuki's been a physical caretaker since he was a little kid feeding his dad and an emotional one for his Seido teammates. Sometimes it's in a 'tough love' way for the confident ones, and sometimes it's done in a more gentle way for the insecure ones.

Does he always express it appropriately? Definitely not. Is he a little shit when the stakes are low? Absolutely. But his thoughts and actions are usually trying to motivate or support others.

Miyuki feels personal responsibility for the success of his pitchers. He lets them blame him for failure. He feels guilty for failing to notice injuries or distress. He even shifts away from his naturally harsh communication style based on individual needs, such as with the less-aggressive Nori or when Eijun struggles with the yips and he's trying to find the right way to help.

When Miyuki is named captain, he takes the team's success completely on his shoulders. He refuses to allow himself any moments of weakness as a batter, catcher, or playmaker because the team is counting on him, and redoubles his own training. He even seeks out advice from Tetsu to better handle his role when he realizes he doesn't have the perspective he needs to lead.

This is part of why he contradicts himself during the yips arc about whether he should focus on the team first or help Eijun to help the team. He's being forced to choose if he's going to take care of Seido as a captain or take care of his pitcher as a catcher, and he doesn't know how to balance those priorities yet.

At the end of it all, even when he's injured badly enough to be on the verge of collapse, Miyuki still nags the team to remember their ice.

During his recovery, we see his caring nature a final time in the guilt he feels around Chris' injury. It's completely irrational. After all, Miyuki was brand new to the team when it happened and probably new to being a real teammate in general. Still, he wonders if he helped his already injured rival senpai enough. The fact he was openly friendly, supportive, and patient with Chris in his second year, even though Chris was short with him, wasn't enough in his mind because someone he cared about dearly suffered.

He has abandonment issues.

Miyuki can't accept people he cares about, especially those he admires, leaving him. He expects himself to fix the situation if their relationship is threatened. If he can't fix it, his frustration can manifest as atypically childish anger for such an emotionally mature teenager.

Looking at his history, it's unsurprising.

Miyuki doesn't seem to have any junior high friends that have stuck with him into high school. It isn't that they're at odds, like Mochi's, but more like they were kids he just walked home with because his own dad couldn't make games.

His dad appears to be a hard-working widower who doesn't have time to be involved with his son. Miyuki respects rather than resents him for his dedication to his job despite having to raise himself in a lot of ways.

Once he reaches High School following Chris, his idol and should-have-been mentor first ignores him, then disappears due to his injury, then lashes out at him ("First string catcher") even into Miyuki's second year. Miyuki keeps seeking him out all the same.

The only involved adult figures Miyuki seems to have in his life are Rei, who is one of the few people we see watch out for him from the beginning, and Coach Kataoka, who has been a quiet supporter since Miyuki was made a starter under horrific circumstances.

Given all of this, it's unsurprising that Miyuki has learned to verbally accept that people leave, but he can't do so emotionally. We see this over and over again:

Miyuki losing control over his emotions when Sawamura said Chris should just give up on baseball. He can stand Chris hating him or ignoring him, but having Chris disappear from his world awakens that primal fear and anger of being left behind.

Miyuki telling the team that they have to win to keep Coach Kataoka. Other players mention it on occasion during the second half of Act I, but he is the first, last, and most consistent to demand they win so Kataoka can't leave. He even plays through a serious injury while internally citing the impending loss of Kataoka as why he has to.

Miyuki gets furious after Mei makes a stupid mistake, denying their match against each other. That petulant rage bleeds over into his conversation with the team afterward, causing him to nihilistically state that everyone moves on in the end, so there's no point in being friends. He instinctively tries (and fails) to protect himself from the pain of people leaving by never building bonds to begin with.

And after all this, when Zono comes at him, he doesn't really fight back. He lets Zono scream at him and listens even if he's stubborn about it in the moment. He seems to believe this as an acceptable consequence for his words like he did with his old bullies.

He's resilient.

Although baseball comes easily to Miyuki, not much else in his life has, and it makes him roll with the punches. From his home situation, to what happens with Chris, to teammates who hate or bully him, to dealing with losses - he's still always looking forward.

It's what makes him a great player, and ultimately, a great captain.

#miyuki kazuya #essay #Happy birthday Miyuki!#diamond no ace #daiya no ace #this is a mess but I wanted it out before the end of the day

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grayintogreen · 2 years

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46 and 10 for the title ask game

10 is there isn’t a past, there’s only the present flowing into the future which is an Empire Kids fic that deals with Beau trying to cope with not being an adventurer anymore and also not sure what her life will be if she stops, and she and Caleb end up going to Whitestone and she bonds with Percy a bit and gets some perspective. This should have been finished because it was getting close to an ending, but then I decided I wanted to use the "Gwendolyn runs off with Percy's invention" plot from Tal'Dorei Reborn.

Here's a snippet!

“Uh-huh,” Beau chews on her funnel cake and then tries to lick excess powdered sugar off her cheek to no avail. “You’re just not telling me anything because she’s rich, right?”

“Her family is extremely powerful, ja. And what she’s asking me to teach her is still… Not entirely appropriate here in the Empire.” He lowers his voice to almost a whisper and, instinctively, Beau checks her six and all other positions to make sure no one is following them. They’re at least a year out of the tangle of courtroom drama and yet she still worries about assassins on every corner.

She sighs. Sometimes she sort of longs for the thrill of an assassination attempt. She misses things that aren’t paperwork. “Guess the monotony of our new day to day is gettin’ to me, and she’s just so precise with her time. Fuck. I could set a godsdamned clock by her.”

“She also has a keen mind.” Caleb takes another thoughtful bite of his funnel cake. “And her father is a clockmaker.”

“The Soul said he was an adventurer.” Beau squints.

“One does not preclude the other.”

“Shit.” The realization hits her like a sudden punch to the solar plexus. Sometimes you just stop adventuring. Sometimes the assassins aren’t your problem anymore and the world gets saved by other people. She was old enough to know it was coming fast and young enough to be terrified of the prospect. “We’re gonna get that old someday, aren’t we?”

Not realizing the abject terror of the linear passage of time (of course he wouldn’t get it), Caleb shrugs and keeps eating. “Only if we’re lucky.”

46 is the math that makes us real... which might not ever see the light of day because someone else is writing a similar story and I don't want to step on toes and that's what I get for waiting too long. The idea is that when Caleb destroys the t-dock, there's an accident that causes Essek to accidentally end up in an alternate timeline where the Nein are all evil and he doesn't exist at all so he has to get them together for Reasons and the whole point is that Essek is somehow the least evil of them all and the moral center and it's hilarious. I might still write it because it is VERY different from that other fic but... again. It's awkward.

Also I don't write Essek that often and an entire multichapter fic from his POV sounds like taking a hammer to my ankle to force myself out of my comfort zone. Like yes I could do it, but at what cost.

#my asks #ask game #my writing

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butwhatifidothis · 3 years

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Tumblr is starting to VERY MUCH dislike how long the other reblog chain is getting, so this will be Reblog Chain 2 of my jotting down notes of this fic. Here is the first reblog chain for Chapters 1-20

But it appears as though I was correct in sleeping off Chapter 20, because Chapter 21 is. Hm. bad. Very. Not good.

Chapter 21:

Transcript under the cut:

Chapter 21: It's Called Scars so it Gonna Be Ass

- To be blunt, the constant need to reaffirm that yes, Edelgard went through terrible experimentation and that yes, they were very horrific, is tiring. This is chapter 21. The experiments occurred in chapter 2. Every single chapter between now and then have, at some point, mentioned that INDEED, Edelgard DID in fact go through horrific trauma. It is tiring to the reader to constantly have to reread the same thing - we know it happened. We know it was terrible. There's no need to constantly say so; we already understand as readers.

- "Every time the spark of life broke through Byleth’s blank face, it brought a flickering hope to the Flame Emperor’s heart." ->

- Firstly: Awkward use of the Flame Emperor epithet (its usage is on and off with how appropriate its been - this is off).

- Secondly: Once again, Byleth's face was rarely if ever blank. She was never the Ashen Demon, as even the last chapter showcased. The author is mistaking reservation with emotionlessness, which is simply wrong

- "There had been so many empty days and nights, without friendship, love or joy. With nothing to hope for, except someday, the peace of the grave." -> Suicidal tendencies: another trait that Edelgard doesn't have... (strikes against canon: 89)

- ...but Dimitri does. Counter: 12

- "Dimitri, too, was troubled by the thought, grasping the side of his head and frowning. As the spasm passed, he turned to Edelgard and smiled warmly." -> It seems a little callous to so casually toss Dimitri's symptoms into his interactions with others when such things simply don't occur in the canon interactions. It's not impossible, or strictly against canon, but it does not feel natural; it's more as though the author is shining bright neon signs that say DIMITRI HAS MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES than a genuine attempt at writing Dimitri's mental health issues. This is not the first time this sort of seemingly thoughtless showcasing of symptoms has happened (Noted separately: Dimitri having drastic mood swings)

- "No, this world must be ruled by humans…not cruel gods who ignored the prayers of little girls." -> This statement follows Edelgard internally chastising the actions of not gods, but the Children of the Goddess. This is a weaselly attempt at dodging Edelgard's racist beliefs that Nabateans should not be allowed positions of power by shifting the belief to apply to miscellaneous gods instead. While not inaccurate per se - she does also canonically believe that gods should have no power in human affairs - it is not honest

- "Byleth nodded with childlike simplicity. “We should all try to get along.”" -> Again describing Byleth as childlike and/or innocent. Counter: 3

- For those curious: yes, the rat scene is implemented, yes it is sloppy, yes it is out of character for Claude - so much so that it is being noted separately - and yes it is forced to all hell

- What will be noted here, however, is that this is yet another instance of a man being demeaned/humiliated for the honor of a woman. See quote: "Byleth was on him in an instant, a tempest forming in the sea of her blue eyes. “That isn’t funny.” She crossed her arms sternly. “Jokes are about bringing people together...about making them smile. Right now, the only person laughing is you.”" with Claude reacting awkwardly. Once again, Man Bad Woman Good

- In a showcasing of a complete lack of self-awareness within the fic: "“Maybe if you’d have taught the Deer instead…but since you seem to have no ambitions outside of cleaning up Edelgard’s messes…”" -> This is Claude being portrayed as the bad guy, not the one being completely and utterly right

- " She slapped Edelgard on the back, and smiled heartily. “I agree, Dimitri!” Edelgard grimaced, trying to hide the fact her teacher had just struck the wound she had received during the mock battle." -> As well as where undoubtedly countless scars would be, yes? Scars that still cause Edelgard pain? In fact, Edelgard has been slapped on the back by Byleth and Jeralt numerous times before, and yet expresses no pain or discomfort.

- Another thing, that I had not noted though ought to have: Edelgard, a victim of sexual assault (in this fic), rarely seems to mind people touching her. She gets a little surprised if someone tries to get her attention with touch, yes, but Byleth's constant unprompted and random touching of Edelgard is never said to do anything but bring warmth and joy and comfort to Edelgard. It seems as though Edelgard suffering through sexual assault is just another source of trauma for the author to dump onto her for nothing more than pity points

- This is incredibly harsh to say, yes, and I would usually refrain from attributing such harshness onto a piece of text, but remember that Edelgard's scars only cause her pain when it's convenient, that she only experiences headaches when it's convenient, that she experiences PTSD episodes (when Claude mentions the rat) when it's convenient (note that in this fic he does it outside of battle, where her getting triggered wouldn't compromise her chances at victory). Edelgard not being touch averse and being a victim of sexual assault are not inherently something bad - survivors react to trauma differently, after all - but it is another in a steadily longer line of instances where Edelgard is simply given trauma for the sake of making her pitiable to the reader and the love interest, not something that Edelgard genuinely has to struggle with.

- "As Claude and Dimitri looked at their classmate expectantly, Edelgard was wracked with another bout of guilt. Deep in her soul, the princess knew these peaceful days would end soon. When that happened, no feast or vows of friendship could make up for the chaos and horror she would unleash. It would be better to pull away, close off her heart, rather than fuel the flames of her inevitable betrayal." -> Aka, "Feel bad for me, I feel guilty for planning to cause the death and ruination of countless innocents' lives all because I convinced myself that my way is the only way to get things done my way without ever actually trying to see if more peaceful ways could have worked. I'm going to orphan children, force families to fight each other, have the land be rampaged by banditry, and overall bring chaos onto these days that I ADMIT ARE PEACEFUL all because I feel that my way would be better. Wah wah pity me but I don't wanna be pitied I promise wah wah."

- "Byleth shrugged with a characteristic blend of innocence and spirit. “I guess I just like winning.” She began to blush and grabbed Edelgard’s hand. "It's so exciting! I’ve never had anyone other than Papa to celebrate with before!”" -> Byleth = innocent/childlike. Counter: 4

- The fic likes to reaffirm again and again that Byleth is "now" only acting like this due to Edelgard's presence in her life. Note also these statements written previously: "Every day, [Edelgard] was watching the person she loved grow and change. Become who she always was supposed to be." This, perhaps unintentionally, again enforces the "Lesbian Love is Pure and Innocent" trope; these wlw are only allowed to be their good girl, innocent selves - who they were always supposed to be - due to the pure lesbian love they have found with one another

- Count Bergliez didn't know of the experiments initially, but he eventually found out and did nothing to stop them, fleeing from a young and tortured El who was pleading for him to save her - Unnecessarily painting Count Bergliez as a spineless coward too afraid of Duke Aegir to save a child in pain

- Once again, a man fails to save a woman and further traumatizes her

- It should be noted that Bergliez is fearful not for his own life, but for that of his children, who were the ones Duke Aegir threatened. He, very similar to Ionius, cannot save Edelgard, except Bergliez (unlike Ionius) has a tangible, physical, explainable reason as to why he couldn't, and yet it is him who is painted as the bad guy, not Ionius. He is worthy of Edelgard's scorn and hatred, but Ionius only receives a begrudging feeling of betrayal from Edelgard that she feels guilty for harboring, even though he failed her far more than Bergliez failed her.

- "Daughters must always be loyal to their fathers" trope

- "No decent person thought the things Edelgard did. Just as her body had been twisted and shattered by the experiments, her mind bore terrible scars. Scars that the monster kept hidden, so she could walk in the world of men." -> Dehumanizing oneself as a monster as well as having violent thoughts (that specifically stem from trauma) one feels guilty for harboring are not traits Edelgard shows in canon... (strikes against canon, 90, 91)

- ...but Dimitri does. Counter: 13, 14

- "world of men?" Did the author perhaps mean "world of man," as in mankind? Keep note of

- The reason as to why Bergliez is said to have witnessed young El's tortured state and did nothing to help her is revealed: in canon, he dislikes her. It is blatantly and objectively said that he and Edelgard share a mutual displeasure in the other's company. What this fic had him do will be used as an excuse as to why he doesn't hate her, since no one is allowed to dislike Edelgard on the "good" side

- Edelgard, upon being asked if revenge is the reason she is doing what she's doing (reuniting Fodlan): "“No.” Edelgard put her hand to her chin thoughtfully. “I think for a long time, it was…but after a while, I realized that revenge wouldn’t satisfy me.” She looked at the blue sky above. “After you go through that much suffering…when you beg for help, day after day, and no one cares...you realize that nothing will ever truly make you feel safe again. The only thing I want is for this madness to end.”" -> This is internally inconsistent. See chapter 15 note: ""You know why they created me in the first place.” / “To reunite Fódlan,” spat Hubert. “It was all my father talked about.” / “And I will give it to them. "" This directly connects Edelgard's want to reunite Fodlan to the wants of her tormenters (as this states she is doing it out of spite). Note how Hubert spits at the idea of reuniting Fodlan, and how it was all his father - portrayed as a villain - talked about. This is not what this Edelgard wants, at least not of her own independent want. Earlier in this very chapter, Edelgard internally states a want to hurt Bergliez for leaving her behind. To say that she now no longer thinks vengeance would satisfy her, or that none of the reason that she is doing everything she does is out of a want for revenge, is ridiculous

- Edelgard to Bergliez, upon being asked what will happen to him and his family should Edelgard rise to power: "“All those who distinguish themselves will be rewarded. Given your history, I have little doubt you will be among them.” She nervously played with her white gloves. “All I ask is that when I seize back control of the throne, I can count on the military’s support.”" -> Yes, all who distinguish themselves to Edelgard, for Edelgard's cause, that Edelgard can see and/or know of. How likely is it that a poor farmer who is exceptional at fighting will actually be noticed by Edelgard and be given the credit he deserves, when others who may not be as meritable but do have some merit have the connections to show themselves directly in front of Edelgard? What means will Edelgard give the poor soldiers (that she or Byleth aren't already friends with, notably Dorothea and Leonie) that will allow them to be able to be seen by her and have their merits recognized? Edelgard is the one who says who gains power after all, so it is her they must prove themselves to, but how can they realistically do that?

- What about professions that are not immediately beneficial to Edelgard's cause, such as the arts? How will they fare in Edelgard's society, when their works and talents yield no tangible, objective results (such as, say, farming)?

- Something the fic will address?

- Edelgard does not nervously do anything in front of those she is trying to negotiate with in canon, not even Thales. Strikes against canon: 92

- "[Bergliez] could only laugh in response. “I think we’re going to get along rather well, my lady…and the other?”" -> Except Bergliez and Edelgard don't get along well, ever. Pre ts they are stated to dislike each other, which continues even onto post ts with Bergliez being the only noble Edelgard couldn't bring to heel. Strikes against canon: 93

- As predicted: No one is allowed to dislike Edelgard on the "good" side

- Literally forgot Hubert was with Edelgard and Bergliez lmao

- Ionius tried to consolidate power to be rid of the consort system due to his unending love for Anselma -> A ridiculous idea, plain and simple. Ionius was Emperor. If he wished to be rid of the consort system there was no need for him to try and take away all power from the other Imperial houses.

- If Ionius truly loved Anselma, why did he allow her to be exiled from the Empire? Why didn't he step in and use his influence as Emperor to help her?

- Edelgard, when she is Emperor - passed down a supposedly empty crown, at that - showcases the all-encompassing power the title of Emperor truly holds to one willing to use that power. That Ionius supposedly wanted to do all of these reforms and yet nothing at all was done, ever (save for ruining Houses Hrym and Ordelia, something even this fic has as canon), if Ionius did want to make these reforms, means that he was too spineless and cowardly to truly go through with trying to pass them. This again unintentionally showcases how awful a ruler and weak-willed a person Ionius was when he had power when trying to paint him in this righteous light.

- Lambert was stated to be trying to pass reforms before he died in canon, not Ionius. From parents to the children, the author is attributing traits from Lambert onto Ionius just as he (author's confirmed gender is male) attributes traits from Dimitri onto Edelgard

- " Her father and mother…she had thought their romance a fairy tale-a story from her father to make a motherless child feel valued. But…they truly had loved each other." -> Edelgard does believe Ionius when he told her of the story of when he and Anselma (supposedly) met each other. There is nothing to indicate that Edelgard thought it to be a lie: in fact, in canon: "But I choose to believe there was genuine love between them." Strikes against canon: 94

- It seems as though finally, after around 18 chapters, Edelgard's scars will finally cause her genuine inconvenience due to her complex about them as well as her trust issues. She has a gash on her back from the Battle of Eagle and Lion, but will not have it treated if Manuela isn't the healer, and yet the woman is occupied dealing with the rest of the students who were injured. How will this fic deal with this?

- Ingrid, referring to her and Sylvain: ""We just switched from Felix lecturing us all day to listening to Edelgard moralizing, didn’t we?"" -> The author is trying to compare a childhood friend whose friends have had years to get used to their barbed tongue to a stranger that directly insults the dreams of one of them. Something which Ingrid canonically hates having be done to her, even from Felix, a childhood friend. Once again, Ingrid being so casual about Edelgard being so disrespectful of her dreams is out of character. Strikes against canon: 95

- "Sylvain shook his head knowingly, ignoring Felix’s truly alarming scowl. “You should have seen his face, Edelgard. Dimitri would go on and on about this girl he met when he was a kid…and Felix would complain about her for hours!” He looked at Felix and smiled. “For all his whining about the “Boar,” nobody loves Dimitri more than him.”" -> Oh? A romantic gay male relationship presenting itself within the fic?

- Another vision of SS experienced by Edelgard. Word from a nameless guard: "The woman, Byleth, leading their forces... She’s not human! She killed half my battalion with one swing of that sword of hers. She didn’t speak, she didn’t shout, she didn’t even change her expression!” The panicked man was teetering on the edge of hysteria. “All those people rallying around her, and it’s like she doesn’t care at all. Like she's a walking corpse!"" -> Obviously saying that Byleth becomes the Ashen Demon if not allowed to be with Edelgard.

- Unintentional statement: Byleth can't be the pure innocent (lesbian) woman without Edelgard's (lesbian) love granting her purity, reverting her to a monstrous, corrupt demon incapable of humanity

- See chapter 20 note: "Implying that choosing SS - aka, choosing the Nabateans - makes Byleth less human. Intentional?" Confirmed to be intentional. Also false: in canon, even when accounting for CF's lesser chapter count, Byleth emotes far more on SS than on CF, which matches with CF having Edelgard call Byleth detached in their A support. Strikes against canon: 96

- The same nameless soldier, same context: "And those Faerghus kids…” / Edelgard leaned forward in her chair. “Ingrid…Sylvain…what of them?” / “They…they were animals. Screaming and ranting about revenge for the King.” -> Is the author really demonizing Sylvain and Ingrid for (potentially!) being mad at Edelgard for murdering one of their childhood friends? Is that really the depths the Edelgard worship will sink to, that friends becoming enraged at a friend's unjust murder from a warlord is being portrayed as something sad for the warlord? Just what else should Edelgard be pitied for?

- "The scared girl desperately tried to drown out the thoughts that reverberated incessantly. / They’re going to despise us…it’s destiny. And how could they not? If we were truly good, the Goddess would have saved us…protected us. But She didn’t. The Goddess took Mother. She took our family. And soon, She’ll take everything else we love. She hates us. / It’s what we deserve." - Now confirmed that Edelgard hears multiple voices in her head tormenting her. That trait that, once again, Edelgard does not have... (Strikes against canon: 97)

- ...but Dimitri does. This is the third time this chapter that this has happened, and far from the only chapter to display such baffling characterization of Edelgard via Dimitri's traits. It is nonsensical.

- " Why had [Edelgard] even been born at all? Nonexistence would have been preferable to watching every faint dream be dashed, to suffering alone over and over. She was just…so tired of being alive." -> Once. Again. Suicidal tendencies/thoughts is not a trait Edelgard shows in canon... (Strikes against canon: 98)

- ...but Dimitri does. The fourth! The fourth time in one chapter the author desperately wanted to just write Dimitri!

- If the fic wanted to take Edelgard in a different direction than canon does and has her display some of these traits, it would be more passable, but this fic is under the delusion that it is in any way following canon closely, especially in regards to Edelgard, and so this can only be seen as a desperate attempt from the author to have Edelgard be sympathetic by donning the skin of an actually sympathetic character such as Dimitri

- "Edelgard looked at herself in the mirror. The back of her academy uniform was stained red, the rhythmic, soft dripping of blood assaulting the princess’ ears." -> And no one commented on this? No one was worried? Not Ingrid, Sylvain, and Felix, who were sitting right by her? Not Lysithea, who saw her take the blow to her back and never get it healed? Not Dimitri, who delivered the blow? It just so happened that literally no one at all noticed this?

- Byleth literally slapped Edelgard on the back earlier? Wouldn't her hand come back red with blood if it were seeping through the uniform?

** The scene that follows the previous note is too long to quote, despite how truly terrible it is. Long quotes, even extremely long quotes, have been presented in these notes before, but the length this quotation would be if the full extent of it were written here would be a mess, and quite frankly, at that point it would do one better to simply go to the fanfiction itself and read the text from there. With the context received from these notes, if one wishes to see the words for themselves, go to chapter 21 of The Emperor and the Goddess, enter Ctrl + F (or Find in Page on mobile devices), and enter the phrase "Byleth crossed her arms, clearly frustrated" verbatim. The following note will not be quoting the entire scene from the fic (merely summarizing it), though context is needed to understand how truly bad the scene is. **

- To have hope in this fic performing anything correctly is proving to be a fool's dream, for it has yet to do anything right; that includes the aforementioned gash upon Edelgard's back. As stated, it did not draw the attention of those who were sitting around her nor did it draw the attention of the one who witnessed the injury itself, nor of the one who delivered the injury itself, so no one commented on the gaping, bleeding wound Edelgard was "hiding" from everyone as she turned her (bleeding) back to them and left for the baths to clean up (it must be heavily stressed: immediately after leaving it is revealed that the blood is seeping through her uniform). As she was washing - naked, of course - Byleth just so happened to step into the baths with only a towel wrapped around her "for modesty," much to the horror of Edelgard, for she does not want Byleth seeing her scarred body. A slight argument arises between the two over Edelgard getting her injuries checked, before Byleth warns Edelgard that she will go to Rhea and force her to go to the infirmary should Edelgard continue to refuse treatment, which drives Edelgard past the brink. She raises her arms from the bathwater and presents her scars (""Fine!... If you want to see so badly, here!""), to the horror of Byleth ("Byleth Eisner was not a woman given to strong emotional reactions, but she staggered back, hands over her mouth."). Edelgard cries in hysteria, fear of her beloved teacher running away in disgust over her ugly, mutilated body overwhelming her. But Byleth, childlike in her innocence, shared that she too is scarred in strange ways, and that she too is scared of failing those around her - that she has no ambitions save to help and protect those around her. Byleth reveals that it is Edelgard whom Byleth looks up to for always being so strong and always moving forward, and shows that without Edelgard Byleth wouldn't know how to handle the pressure everyone else puts on her. The exchange ends with Byleth reassuring Edelgard that she is beautiful and not the monster she thinks she is.

- There is no nice way of putting this: this is a classic example of how not to write someone opening up to another about something. Edelgard views herself as weak, ugly, repulsive, a monster, shameful, but it is Byleth's love and affection that gives her comfort and warmth, that gives her hope of something more. It forces Byleth to behave wildly out of character (the author can try to excuse this with "well she wouldn't normally behave like this!" all he wants, it doesn't matter when it goes against the base, canonical Byleth. Strikes against canon: 99) in order for Edelgard's scarred body to be seen as something that is repulsive, that is ugly, that is stained, so much so that the pure, childlike, innocent Byleth couldn't stand to see something so tainted. And yet it is that same pure, childlike, innocent Byleth's pure, innocent, childlike love that pushes away the pain of Edelgard's scars for just that moment. Other characters become suddenly blind and/or forgetful of Edelgard's obvious, bleeding wound so that it is Byleth who can be the one to save Edelgard with her pure, innocent, childlike presence and her pure, innocent, childlike uncertainty about her own insecurities (but only when it is convenient for Edelgard, as even Byleth didn't noticed the gaping, bleeding wound until she was alone with Edelgard where no one could interrupt their bonding moment). This scene is inorganic and forced, ham-fisting Edelgard and Byleth in the same room - the wash room, where both are either naked or nearly naked - so that Byleth is the one to find Edelgard, no one else. No one was worried enough about the sudden exit Edelgard took from the conversation she was having to follow her and make sure she was alright, and Byleth just so happened to enter the baths right after Edelgard. The scene is, to be frank, insulting.

- There have been a couple of joking references to a book titled Stones to Abigail in these notes, but in all seriousness, this scene plays unsettlingly similar to a scene in said book, where a scarred girl who is naked reveals her "ugly" and "revolting" scarred body to the love interest, who goes on to soothe and comfort the naked girl as best they can. The resemblance is uncanny

- Byleth described as childlike/innocent. Counter: 5

- Edelgard, in canon, never expresses feeling herself to be ugly, or repulsive, or a monster. Strikes against canon: 100

- Again, Edelgard's scars are only important when they are convenient - this time, in helping develop the romantic relationship between her and Byleth

- There are ways in which scars can be utilized without being problematic, but certainly not when this much focus is placed on them and yet they are only truly present when they cannot hinder Edelgard.

- Perhaps particularly insulting is this phrase from Edelgard: "Did she actually love Byleth at all, or just being saved by her?" Yes, Edelgard, you do simply want to be saved by Byleth, because that is precisely what the narrative has been drilling into the reader's heads ever since Byleth showed herself. Byleth is Edelgard's light, Byleth is Edelgard's hope, Byleth gives Edelgard back her humanity, Byleth is Edelgard's one source of joy, Byleth is Edelgard's entire life, and nothing, absolutely nothing in this fic has shown this to ever be a bad thing. This dependence on Byleth to bring Edelgard joy at the near complete expense of everyone else has been propped up as something romantic, and yet it's now, 21 chapters and over 85K+ words in, that we're supposed to believe that this was actually Edelgard being unhealthy? Even though the author himself said that this was what he enjoyed about their relationship, how much they found each other in each other? Even though we see what the author thinks would happen to the two of them should they separate - Edelgard, lonely and afraid without her beloved teach, and Byleth, the Ashen Demon who cares for nothing without her beloved student - in her visions of SS? This is a joke

- It cannot be overstated that Byleth came to the bathhouses completely independently of Edelgard. She did not come to specifically see her because she followed her out of worry for Edelgard due to her injury - she only knows that Edelgard's injured in the first place due to seeing bloody bandages that Edelgard removed in the bathhouse, before Byleth arrived.

- Author's notes: "On Bergliez, we find out very little in-game, but he 1) offers himself for execution so his men can go free in SS and 2) seems to be actually competent at his job. I thought a nuanced portrayal was more interesting, since I've been writing Aegir as the absolute worst person in the world." -> Note: this is what the author believes to be a nuanced take on someone. Someone who likes Edelgard entirely and does nearly whatever they can to help her, but they did one thing that's morally gray (leaving a child behind to save his own children from the same fate) that is portrayed as objectively bad, so now they are nuanced. While perhaps this sort of character would be truly nuanced in better hands, as it is with his actions being portrayed as something that is obviously so completely and utterly wrong and him someone who deserves complete and utter condemnation - and yet Ionius, who does far worse for far less understandable reasons, gets a comparative slap on the wrist - it causes confusion as to Edelgard's lines. Bergliez seeing her the one time and never helping her is enough for her to want to hurt him as she was hurt, but her father repeatedly coming to and "being forced" to watch her actively be tortured and doing nothing does little to invoke similar depths of resentment? Even granting the idea that "she gives more slack to her father," Ionius is objectively and far worse than Bergliez, down to doing hard things to protect their children, and yet it is only Bergliez who is shined in this unpleasant a light

- To be clear, Bergliez's decision was not a good one, but understandable. It is a gray decision to make. But notice how he is called "gray" and "nuanced" and yet Ionius is nearly completely innocent, as described by the author himself, despite their being no given explaination as to why "he was a figurehead" should be a good enough reason to wash him literally standing there and watching as his children - some of whom aren't even teens yet - get slowly tortured and killed.

- "There are many localization changes I understand (Byleth wanting to get drunk after the battle is one of them), but Treehouse's decision to remove Ionius' entire reason for power centralization (eliminating the consorts) was a big, big mistake." -> Given the history of this author's grasp on the Japanese language, this needs to be checked, as he cannot be trusted as a source as to whether this is true

******* Notes of Claude mischaracterization: Chapter 21, section 1, paragraphs 1, 21 & 23, 27 *******

#o captain my captain #is the Cap'n's name fuckin' Greg holy shit #this chapter was baaaaad #b-but hey maybe i'm just being overly critical?

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acciocriativity · 3 years

Text

You and Me II || Harry Potter

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin/Reader

Summary: After years at Hogwarts, your life would really begin and nothing could be better than to start this new phase with your official birthday party, but the next day does not turn out quite as expected.

Warnings: For those who haven't read the first part yet, Tom Riddle is not Voldemort in this fic. The first wizard war was against another wizard but its consequences are still valid! Just pure fluff and an implied bit of smut.

Word Count: 3,0k

A/N: This is obviously the part two of You and Me, but it’s not necessarily related, so you can just read this one as a one shot but the first part gives you a lot of context for this, ok? ok then. (Happy really early Birthday Katie! I'd like to post this on your bday but I was too anxious for this. Hope you like it!)

Part I

04/27/1997

"You're really not well, how can a person be in this state when their birthday is so close? I've tried to understand and still can't", the brunette's bored voice made itself present in the room for the 4th time in the day and as I prepared my answer, she held up her hand and delivered her own hypothesis first. "You can't be sad that we're finishing seventh year, I swear for Merlin's sake, if that's the case, I'll...", the words slipped slowly from her mouth, as did the calmness remaining in her.

"Even though anything you have to say sounds like a lot of fun, it's not the case. I really want to start my own life, have my own job and all that. I'm just thinking a lot lately, too many things have happened, we've all changed so much", I didn't bother to look at her, still focused on the ceiling painted like a blue summer sky and she didn't mind asking permission to lie next to me on the bed.

"We had to grow up eventually, although some took too long, in fact, I can point out for sure that half the boys still act like kids", we both laughed until our bellies ached.

"Well, good for us then because Draco and Blaise are not on that list and don't even dare look at me like that, you know he's changed a lot", I heard her amused giggles and already imagined what was coming.

"I wasn't even going to say anything this time, it's really impressive how you just stick up for him, I hope it's the same with me", I frowned and looked at her as if she was out of her mind, and there were chances she really was. "Since when do you need protection from someone?".

"I never said I needed it, but it's nice to know I have it", she shrugged without looking me in the eye and I decided it would be better to change the subject, because nothing good ever comes out of a Pansy, who is unseasy in any sense.

"So, about your...," she started. "Pansy, what do you…”, I said at the same time, but I just smiled and waited in silence for what she had to say.

"I was going to ask about your parents, you're going to have to live with them in a month, so how are you feeling about that?", she just glanced at me.

"That's been going through my mind, I have no idea what it's going to be like but it's going to be better than anything that's happened in the past, that's enough for now", I sighed.

"You know you can come to my house, right? You can hide there", I agreed with a smile and we continued in a comfortable silence.

04/29/1997

7:30 A.M.

On the morning of my birthday, I woke up in the best possible way. The warmth emanating from Draco's body and the thick blanket kept me unfazed by the freezing wind coming in through the window. I didn't want to move and I didn't need to.

I sighed satisfied with the position I was in, curled up under the blanket hugging the blond's bare torso, with no responsibility or obligation other than to enjoy my day.

"Morning, love", his arms pressed me tighter against him, I could feel his calm breathing and somehow, I felt calmer too.

I left a few kisses on his bare skin and the goosebumps they caused on him made me break out into a little smile. "Good morning, love", I whispered leaning back against him.

"Come here, let me give you a proper happy birthday", he gave my hair a quick pat and lifted my chin to look at him.

As soon as I crawled closer to him, his arms entwined around my waist and pulled me even closer.

"Happy birthday my love", he left several little kisses on my face and neck before moving to my lips, but our moment was interrupted by a noise on the window.

A gray owl incessantly beat its beak on the window pane, we looked at each other, neither of us wanted to get up, but it would be too cruel to leave the poor thing waiting there.

"It's my birthday, I have the right to ask you to go", I gave a brief kiss on his lips before letting him go to the war field.

I stayed warm while he opened the window further so that the owl could get through, as well as the icy wind.

He rushed back to my side in time to see me tear the seal off the letter I received.

"It's from my parents, they are really working hard this year. I have to admit that", I told him as I scanned the paper.

"At least they realized what a great daughter they have, she's a little mean but still great", I was too busy reading the letter to notice his cunning and more icy than usual hands pass around me.

I jumped out of bed as I felt the shock of our skin contact and he had the audacity to laugh, I had to control myself too much not to grab my wand.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy, you are dead now", I climbed into bed with my pillow, ready to fight.

20:00 P.M.

A few hours later, I was getting ready for the party in the Slytherin common room, everyone was invited since after this stressful year, a party would be nice and I couldn't physically kick anyone out.

I was barely concentrating in my makeup, Nala was running back and forth between my feet wanting attention and I couldn't give it to her or for the next few hours, no matter how much it broke my heart.

"For Merlin's sake... Nala! Sit!", it saddened me to see that she obeyed but still wanted to come running to me, that deserved a good reward.

I fed her one of her favorite cookies and petted her shiny fur before going back in front of the mirror. I checked several times to make sure I was ready.

"See you later my love, mma will be back soon", I waved to her and went downstairs before I gave in.

There were already a lot of people when I arrived, the new song by The Weird Sisters was so loud that Pansy didn't hear me, even though I called out 2 times as she passed by on the other side of the room.

As I made my way through, many friends stopped to congratulate me and also to chat a bit, by the time I realized what I was supposed to do, more than 10 minutes had passed.

"Have you guys seen Pansy? I was looking for her", I said before turning my own glass of buttered beer over and leaving it in Tom's hand. "See you guys later", my eyes were glued on the blond guy standing in the corner and in less than a second, I was walking towards him.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with that?!", I heard his indignant voice but ignored it along with all the other people, who tried to talk to me on my way to him.

"You know, the delay is only elegant because it doesn't last more than 5 minutes", he was smiling even though he hated tardiness.

"Maybe for most people, a queen is never late love, the others were too early. Especially when it's her birthday", I stopped in front of him. "You haven't given me my present yet, I'm waiting", I pointed to my own lips.

He chuckled and looked at me for a few seconds before he said something, even with the lights flashing I could still see the twinkle in his eyes, which still reflected mine equally.

"Are you asking this as a gift around too?", his smile widened as did mine, he took a step closer.

"Does that mean you're not going to give it to me? I had high expectations for this one in particular", something in his gaze changed, I could clearly tell but it was gone as quickly as it appeared.

"That particular one can wait, right now, I have my main gift", he took his hands off his back and in them was a green velvet median box with silver details.

I was almost breathless just admiring the package once it was in my hands. To top it off, a green silk bow and I had the impression that he had made it himself.

When I opened it, my jaw dropped. A silver necklace with an emerald heart carefully displayed in the box.

"Draco, you really didn't have to give me something expensive", he didn't answer me, instead took the necklace and helped me put it on.

"It seemed like an appropriate gift, now that we will no longer be living by Slytherin rules, it’s a nice way to say goodbye", I didn't think twice before I kissed him.

"I love you, I'll never get tired of saying that", I whispered between kisses. "You won't forget that, right?", I sighed as he brushed his lips across the skin of my neck.

"I have no reason to forget love, I...", we were interrupted by a forced cough behind me.

"Why don't you two just go into a room? No one has to see this scene", Blaise's unmistakable voice sounded and I felt my boyfriend giggle, not moving out of position.

"You can go after your girlfriend instead of getting in our way, wouldn't that be a brilliant idea?", I didn't see what happened, but a nice answer wouldn't be."So where were we honey?", he raised his eyes to meet mine.

"We better save that for the end of the party love, wasn't that your idea?", I pulled away from him and took his hand. "You have a whole party to enjoy."

"I already regret that decision, thanks for reminding me", he mumbled that and a few other things I couldn't hear.

07/01/1997

7:00 A.M.

"I still can't believe this is our last breakfast at Hogwarts", Astoria commented amidst the silence that had formed at our table.

"I still can't believe it's really over, it seems like any minute now I'm going to wake up and be back in third year", Pansy added.

"Well, I hope you'll make better decisions if you go back there tonight. No one forgot the hair Pan", my remark made everyone laugh for the first time in the day, a bit of pride grew inside me.

"Just because Hogwarts is over doesn't mean we're going to split up. None of you have any right to be this down today", Theo said and I was forced to smile as was everyone else.

"I was glad to be rid of you, at no point I was sad," Blaise muttered but we could all hear him and we all laughed once again.

8:00 A.M.

"What are you thinking?" he was with his eyes closed leaning against the train window, but I knew he wasn't asleep.

"How familiar everything here is, the worn leather of the seat, the smell of candy in the hallway and of trees coming in through the window. Other things will be familiar 7 years from now, it's just weird to think about it," he continued in the same position but held out his hand to me.

"That's true but I feel better knowing that we will continue to be each other's constant," I intertwined our fingers and we continued like that until we arrived.

11:00 A.M.

"It's time for the gifts, we prefer to give you personally. I believe you will like it", my mother said as soon as we sat down on the couch in our living room.

I smiled not knowing how to respond, since I usually got the same thing every year, money or more paint, and I was pretty sure they didn't choose in person.

"Go ahead, open it. We decided to give two separate presents this year, the pink wrapping is mine and the purple one is your father's", the two boxes were right next to me on the couch, so why was I hesitating so much to pick them up?

A lot was going on in my head, they have changed a lot in the last year but why? I could be dreaming of the ideal day, but no dream was as vivid as this one.

I took a deep breath and opened the pink first, I expected to find anything but my stuffed bunny, he was washed and clean, different from how I remembered, but still the same.

"I thought I lost or tore it a long time ago", I managed to say as I hugged him like one who finds an old friend, but he was beyond that.

"He was really in a rough state, but I was able to fix him. It was in one of the boxes in the basement, remember how you got it?", I agreed again, a wave of memories washed over me.

My parents had just arrived home from a business trip, it was the first time I had been alone at home without them.

"Mommy, Daddy!", I ran down the stairs as fast as my little legs would allow and threw myself into my father's arms, not caring about his wet coat, which soon became even wetter. "You promi-promised that you would be back soon”.

"Oh my love, something unexpected has happened. We were never going to leave you alone for so long," her hands wiped away my tears and took me in her lap. "So, for you never have to be alone again, we brought a little friend, he will always keep you company when we have to leave."

That wasn't enough to calm me down but it made me curious enough to stop crying, I didn't have any friends before that.

I hurried to open the other package but there was only an empty picture frame with no photo inside.

Before I could open my mouth to ask for an explanation, shapes began to appear from the black background.

I recognized the picture, me still a baby in my mother's arms and my father behind her, hugging us both but as soon as I blinked, it was gone.

Another picture formed in its place, I was older, about two or three years old, this one I had never seen. I was on my mother's lap holding a drawing that I had made and possibly looked terrible.

More pictures appeared and disappeared but I didn't wait to see them all at that moment.

"I loved these gifts...thank you Mom and Dad," I made a great effort to hold back the tears as I hugged them both. "They are the best presents I have ever gotten."

23:00 P.M.

"What are you two doing out there at this time of night?! Draco, have you been drinking now?", Narcisa gave us another stern look before opening the door and shoving us inside.

We walked in almost tripping over the living room rug, laughing at each other, to the point where tears formed in our eyes.

"Shhhhhh, my dad must be working... uhhhhhh, he's not going to like this, u-um," his hand covered my mouth.

I pushed his hand away from my face. “Me?Shut up? You're practically screaming you idiot!".

"You two, I don't want another peep out of you. Come up quietly. Your father doesn't like to be interrupted," she whispered, but it was enough for us to agree without hesitation.

"Yes, Captain, I mean, ma'am," he pulled me up the stairs before her patience ran out.

07/02/1997

14:00 P.M.

"What do you mean, you don't remember what happened?", the blond was clearly trying hard not to laugh and I sighed, still under the blanket.

"I don't remember Draco, did your mother really not hate me? I can't believe we came here...", even though no one was watching me, I started to blush, or was it just the fever? There's no way to be sure now.

"That could never happen, she made sure to request your favorite tea. Now get out of there before it gets cold", he tried to pull on my blanket but I used all the rest of my strength not to let him.

"Noooo, out there that's too cold. Come here, it's too cold for you too", I took one of my hands from the comfortable warmth to pull him to me. "You didn't have to get up so early to get this", I whispered but soon after started coughing.

"There must be a potion to help you, I'll just get it and then...", he was ready to get up from the bed but I didn't let go of his arm.

"I just want you, please stay here? The elf will bring it anyway", before he could protest, I covered him with the blanket. "You're not well either, let's just lay down for now".

He opened his mouth to deny it again but all that came out was a sneeze, after this he just gave up and lied down too. We were both screwed but at least we were together, right? I tried to think positive.

[ @x-dratie-x @fa-me]

Harry Potter Masterlist

#harry potter fanfiction #fred weasley #harry potter #george weasley #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy masterlist #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy smut #tom riddle #blaise zanbini #pansy parkinson #ron weasley #hp fanfic

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sashayaweh · 3 years

Text

Sam and Bucky dance to this song after having to take refuge in a safe house during a particularly high stakes mission. Theres a record player and Sam makes this necessary senior citizen taunts when he catches Bucky's frequent glances towards where it sits on the wooden shelf. Eventually, Sam walls over to fiddle with it because Bucky insists on faking disinterest, but Sam really wants to see him being not-so-boring for once. It was rare to see the other man take interests in his surroundings, barring the hyperawareness that he had for every environment he found himself in.

Sam could almost imagine Bucky's robo-brain whirring to calculate all the exits, people, and vantage points for any possible threat. He never seemed to fully relax. Even sitting in a chair, he sat stiffly as if he was ready to leap out at at any moment. Sam could understand. He wasn't brainwashed and weaponized for 70 years, sure. But he has seen war and death. Things he'd rather forget. And he's felt fear. The initial fear of the thousand foot free falls, the fear of the police and the banks, and the fear of losing himself in it all. So, Sam gets the mental burden and understands how hard it is to leave once you're in.

So, he fiddles with the record player and pretends not to know how to work it. There's no other records visible, but luckily one is still in place. Bucky would eventually get irritated and put everything into place because he knows what Sam is doing. And he knows that Sam knows. Because Sam knows everything. Bucky assumes this from the amount of time the other man spends talking. So, he puts the record on like old times and ignores the lump trying to force its way up and the memories that resurface. Steve-

"You're lucky, man. Etta James, and a classic at that, talk about a two for one. Looks like our luck it starting to turn around, CP30," Sam smile toothily and Bucky wants to do do something to that gap in his teeth. He doesn't quite know what that is yet. Maybe punch it because Sam knows he doesn't understand that obvious reference. But Sam's smile soften to a close, and the corners curl at the edges as his head begins to sway with the notes. Like silk curtains, his eyes slip close in simple pleasure as if he was settling himself into the music.

Bucky watches and feels awkward. At some point, in the past, he would know what to do in the situation. He would know what to do with the violins and the soulful tones curling words of longing into the air. And tired fulfillment. Maybe, he would know what to do with Sam but he doubts it. Or at least how to...be himself. Maybe then they wouldn't argue for once. Sam opens his eyes and looks over to see Bucky who stood, stone faced and deep in thought. The focus of his hooded stare was intense and Sam scoffed. The other man was being broody again.

"Are you even listening to the music or did you zone out again?" He shifts, slightly elbowing his companion and Bucky blinks, his thoughts shifting back to the present.

"You started talking, I couldn't help myself," Bucky quips and Sam let's out a soft scoft that becomes a short laugh. Bucky feels his own lips twitch.

"You gotta relax, man. You could beat a piñata with the stick you have up your ass," Sam shakes his head. That wide tooth smile is back but this time its less cocky and a little more warm. Bucky rolls his eyes and looks away. He does that a lot. At least he understood the reference this time.

Sam sighs and stops the music. He replaces the needle at the original point and let's it go. After a few seconds of crackling silence, the song fills the room again. Sam slaps the back of his hand gently against Bucky's chest and steps back with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Wanna dance, old man?"

Bucky gently freezes in shock but Sam catches it because he expected it, really. Its why he asked in the first place. He wants to shake up that tightly wound exposure that Bucky has at all times. And he was bored. Bucky was not a talkative person and their current predicament left them without many sources for entertainment. It'd been hours since they arrived, yet Sam was feeling the time pass under his skin like an itch. He was exhausted and body weary, but it was better to stay awake so he could orient to the new time zone. As a result, he couldn't help but pester the other man.

"No."

Sam just kept looking at him. His gaze was sleepy, but a twinkle of the earlier mischief still shined through. Similarly, his skin reflected the warmth of the sun as it clung to the early evening and seeped through the windows. It was lucky that they got to be above ground this time.

The staring lasted a long moment. Like it always did. Then Sam shrugged.

"I know dancing may not be a particular talent of yours-" but before he could finish, Bucky was in his space and the rest of Sam's sentenced disappeared with some of his bravado. Bucky was fast and his sudden closeness wasn't expected given the man's reservations a second ago. The sudden adrenaline that had sparked through Sam's started to fade too. He wasn't scared of his companion, but the man's behavior was largely still a mystery to Sam which meant that sometimes he was caught off-guard.

Bucky raised his right hand out, brow arched expectantly, and Sam took it with caution. The man's other hand rose to hover a few inches above Sam's hip, and it took a few moments before he realized Bucky was waiting for permission. His cheeks warmed and he hoped his complexion made it less obvious. He gently guided the metal hand until Bucky settled it on the jut of his hip, the surface cool and smooth under his soft hold.

"Aren't you a gentleman? Thats that old-school chivalry," Sam teased. Bucky pulled their bodies closer and smirked wryly.

"I aim to please." A new song had started and Bucky briefly tore his attention from the heat he felt spreading along his front. He hadn't danced in a long time. Not like this.

The current song featured a masculine husk crooning affections for the listener. It was accompanied by the distinct, steady tempo of a piano. Bucky felt his body catch the music, the way he'd been taught, quickly adjusting to an appropriate rhythm. Sam followed without much of a pause, finally starting to settle into the feelings of sharing this foreign intimacy with the familiar stranger who was holding him so damn gently. Even so, Bucky gripped him firmly like he'd catch Sam if he even thought about falling.

It was...nice. Nicer than Sam (or either of them, really) had expected. He hadn't been held in who knows how long. He was too busy and had mostly outgrown flings, but it wouldn't be fair to a potential partner if he randomly left on long missions that required little to no contact with those who didn't have the clearance. But that was kind of an excuse. Since everything that had happened, Sam hasn't much felt like having others in his space. He was a social person and owned that, sure. But it was hard to open up authentically as much as he teased Bucky about his tendency to isolate himself. He tries to take the advice he regularly gives to the veterans he takes under his wing. Its enough to sustain his close relationships, including whatever he has going on with One Armed Wonder, but he has little energy to offer anyone else. He has to remind himself that thats okay.

Without thinking, Sam realized he had sunk his head into the crook of Bucky's shoulder. He had started to drift, still following the gentle sways of his partner's body like a boat welcoming the gentle rocking of small waves after a storm. Bucky hadn't said anything, luckily, so Sam remains in his position and enjoys the comforting sounds of soul that has wrapped around them.

He had finally put Bucky onto some real good conditioner after growing sick of the greasy tresses the man sported as the Winter Soldier. No judgement. Its hard to have a solid hair care routine as an international assassin for magic super Nazis. But now, it smelled like honeyed coconuts instead of the scentless, dollar brands he used to buy at random. Even though Bucky's hair was shorter, Sam still caught wiffs of it near his neck. It was more noticeable this close given the man's lack of cologne.

Bucky had noticed earlier when Sam's head dipped into his shoulder. Shortly after, he though he had heard soft snores, but the man's body had otherwise remained upright and solid like usual. He had continued to follow the pattern they'd set, so Bucky had just shifted his hand to his partner's lower back to provide support and kept their pace steady. Otherwise, he lost himself in the heat of Sam's hand and the confusing stillness that had settled in his chest. He felt...anchored. But that was Sam. He was strong and steady, and reliable, but just as capable of sinking as anyone else without the support he inarguable deserved. The support Bucky tried to provide.

Steve was gone now. He'd left the both of them to figure out the aftermath of everything that had happened. Bucky wondered if it hurt Sam like it hurt for him. He didn't blame his Steve; couldn't begrudge him that act of selfishness after all they'd been through. Without Rogers' strong presence between them, they had been left to scramble in the gap and reshape it for two. Sam had his family and Bucky had his therapist, but nobody could understand the them as much as the other, as different as they are. So here they are, slow dancing in a safehouse Rhodes had been generous enough to lend them on short notice. He was amicable towards Bucky, but the generosity was really for Sam. Bucky's neck itched, likely with dried sweat, and he sighed internally. He needed a shower.

The man worked his hand against Sam's lower back instinctually and the other man responds with a questioning hum tinged with sleepiness. Bucky doesnt have an answer so they continue in silence. The song had changed. It was a woman again. She was singing the Blues, if Bucky guessed correctly. He's been picking up more of the music Sam liked. It could be relaxing but full-bodied one moment or rich and thrilling the next.

So far, he has only worked his way up the mid-80s. Sam jokesthat his sensitive hearing isnt prepared for the young and hip tastes that dominate the charts, but he'll still sneak recent artists into his recommendations so Bucky isnt completely "out of the loop." Like always, Bucky would just roll his eyes, but now and again he closes them and try to imagine what Sam felt when listened to the music. Wonders at the connections the man shares with the melodies, and the histories curved into the lyrics. Some things, he couldn't ever understand, even if he tries. So, other times, he just listens.

Now, he's curled over his partner's slightly shorter stature, nose brushing the other man's temple. Sam was not a small man. He was built like a brick house. His upper body was strong, but his lower half was thick with muscle and padded by soft curves of flesh. Probably because he only does legs. Meanwhile, Bucky's own body is near the opposite: wide, sturdy chest that tapers to a firm waist and steady, straight legs. They contrast nicely, Bucky thinks. Filling up the spaces the other doesn't. For two people of their size, they still manag to fit snugly with little space between their bodies. Any closer, and Bucky isn't sure how he'd handle the proximity. He feels lulled into the calmness of the evening that had unexpectedly crept up on them in the quiet of everything around them, save for the music.

The two danced a bit longer, but eventually Sam's body grew too weary after the lack of sleep. With hesitancy, they quietly parted after the final notes of the song slipped from the record player. Bucky turns stopped the music while Sam flops into the nearby couch. His growing exhaustion does not stop him from throwing a smirk Bucky's way which the man met with his regular deadpan stare.

"Not bad. Not a single hip replacement necessary. I'd say thats a success for two old men." Sam quipped. Bucky stayed silent.

"You're not old," he finally said. He hadn't moved from his spot by the record player.

"Hmmm. Well, compared to you, 42 isn't that old." Sam lets his eyes close again but Bucky clears his throat, causing one of them to open in question.

"There's a bedroom upstairs," he explains carefully. They've been on the move for some time now with little time for real rest. If Sam was going to finally sleep then it should be in a real bed, at least.

Sam lets out out a quick laugh, "if you think you can butter me up with a dance-"

Bucky cuts off his teasing with a quick glare. If there was ever a moment being the Winter Soldier has served him, it was now. Otherwise, the heat he could feel trying to redden his ears would send Sam into a fit of hysterics.

"I did a perimeter check when we arrived. There's three bedrooms upstairs. All of them have en-suites bathrooms so take your choice," Bucky grumbles out, avoiding eye contact with his counterpart. The earlier stillness he had felt was slowly disappearing now that they were interacting again. His nerves were more taxed than before. He'll analyze that later. Maybe with his therapist, but she was kind of petty, so maybe not.

Sam's teasing smirk has settled into something a little more kind as he rises frim his seat and crosses the room to where Bucky stands. He roughly claps the other man's arm a couple of times before settling the familiar weight of his hand at the ball of Bucky's shoulder.

"I'm just messing with you, man. Thanks though. That couch would do my back in after being thrown by that explosion. Luckily, you were there to provide some cushioning," he says with that toothy smile. Before Bucky can respond, Sam bids him goodnight and slowly makes his way upstairs. Bucky watches him go, dry-mouthed and slightly confused. Once Sam has completely disappeared from view, Bucky takes in his surroundings and feels the emptiness of the room without Wilson's presence.

He'll do one more perimeter check then turn in for the night. Even he can feel the pullings of sleep. Maybe tonight, he'll dream about dancing.

#Spotify #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky #winterfalcon #tfatws #fatws #this was not supposed to be a fic #but it turned into one #mcu marvel #cliche #fics #edit later

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mysticdragon3md3 · 3 years

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I find it endlessly amusing how after 10 years, my OTPs have circled back onto the same type. lol

I realize the Blue Lions have Dedue, and Ashe used to be a commoner. But Ashe got adopted into a higher class. Meanwhile, the Golden Deer has 3 commoners who stay commoners.

And Yukimura probably had commoners serving under him, but Sengoku Basara (2009) takes a lot of time to emphasize that Masamune's commoner associates are named, get screentime, voice his effect on them, and spent time closely serving under him. Meanwhile, Yukimura's only named subordinates seem to also be lords or ninja, more than basic commoners.

When referring to "self-doubt & a phase of failing as a commander", I'm specifally referring to Sengoku Basara (2009) season 2 for Yukimura. That's pretty much most of what he does that season. And he made a critical decision error as a commander that got one of his major subordinates killed and probably also unnecessarily killed some of his other soldiers. Though I am vaguely aware that in one of the videogames, Yukimura similary spent most of the story in self-doubt, after thinking Takeda was dying, and I think he ran his army around doing actions without enough thought.

And of course, with Dimitri, I'm referring to his post-time-skip phase wherein he went full "boar" and refused to properly lead his army. Though after regaining more mental stability and becoming a proper general, he still gets haunted by self-doubts for the rest of his life.

When I spell "Strength" with a capital "S", I'm usually shortening my term "True Strength" and referring to both a mental and emotional fortitude, resilience, and frequently an iron resolve in Compassion. That's just my personal philosophy in defining "True Strength". Personally, I see 2 definitions of "strength" that both converge at Compassion, to define "True Strength". 1) In an amoral sense, strength is resilience in maintaining one's own "soul pattern"/emotions/resolve, without being swayed or influenced by outside forces to change. 2) In terms of defining strength as the ability to do what is most difficult, in my opinion, Compassion is the most difficult. Not only do acts of Compassion often cost a range of efforts from some to exorbitant, but it can also require the enacter to put themselves into a vulnerable position. So it is often something only the strong can afford, or survive, or disregard fears of being vulnerable or taken advantage of. Therefore, in my personal opinion, converging the 2 definitions into an unwavering resolve in Compassion, is my personal definition of "True Strength".

So when I categorize Date Masamune as having Strength, I mean he is unwavering in his resolve towards Compassion. Sengoku Basara 2009 takes a lot of instances to reiterate that Masamune cannot be swayed, his Resolve is unquestioning, no one can stop him, slow him, or change his mind. His catch phase is "pressing onward" (translated as "full speed ahead"). One of his first scenes is charging ahead, disregarding Katakura's warnings for caution. (Notice that in Judge End, this is framed as foolish brashness, but in Sengoku Basara 2009, Katakura smiles and continues following without worry, because he completely trusts Masamune's instincts and decision-making. Because everyone trusts Masamune 2009 to always make decisions based in the best ideals/Compassion.) This is reiterated throughout season 2, when Masamune makes allies and each of them ask him to change directions, but the most they can do is temporarily slow him down, because he doesn't stop moving forward. This Strength directed in outward Compassion towards others is almost unexpected after considering Masamune's historical backstory. One would think that someone betrayed by his mother would become disillusioned and spiteful towards the world. It's a basic supervillain backstory to be betrayed by a trusted figure, especially during fundamental development. But instead, Masamune seems to want only to protect others and bring the whole country under his command, so that the whole country of people can be under his umbrella of protection. The 2009 series only mentions his regret from one of his early battles where lots of his soldiers died, being his major motivation in protecting others, specifically his soldiers. But I've headcanon'ed a lot that can be extrapolated from his historical backstory, that when in conjunction to his actions in Sengoku Basara 2009, portrays a Masamune who has dedicated himself towards Compassion, despite his tragic backstory.

Similarly, Claude's backstory is tragic, yet he emerges with True Strength. I've heard criticisms within the fandom that Claude growing up experiencing so much bullying and discrimination against his being biracial, could not believably yield a person dedicated towards Compassion. But I think that's just brainwashing from too many supervillain tropes telling us that traumatized and mentally ill people invariably become villains. I've heard it's more realistic that people who have experienced trauma, tragedy, or some kind of pain, actually are more likely to increase their ability to empathize/sympathize with others, consequently becoming more compassionate. (Mentioned in https://youtu.be/bHe2seINnE0 at 2:03/9:09; https://youtu.be/zaZYDK1RcEU) Claude experienced descrimination and bullying; he explicitly explains in FE3H canon that he wants to create a world where no one else has to experience that same pain. I really don't see why this can be an unbelievable characterization to some people, when most of the world admires Batman for literally that same reason. And I think that characters, like Claude, who react to trauma and hardship with altruism, demonstrate a True Strength in their characters. They haven't been broken by their trauma. They not only survive, but survive as people who still want to care for others. (Also why I love Natsume Takashi.)

I was tempted to include Dimitri in the category of "Emerged from tragic backstory with Strength and vowing to make world where no one will experience same pain". But he didn't emerge with the same level of flawless Strength that Masamune and Claude did. Dimitri certainly did resolve to protect others from ever experiencing the pain that he felt, after the Tragedy of Duscur. But he was also not as mentally stable. He was so repressed and internally conflicted (concerning his feelings of vengence, or sadness that didn't know how to be expressed as anything but anger, lest he break), that he didn't integrate his "boar" impulses/emotions until much later in his post-time-skip. I didn't feel that Dimitri was a fully reconcilled version of himself, until after he had accepted his "boar" emotions, stopped repressing his unresolved anger, and learned to express them more appropriately or at more appropriate times. After he became more mentally/emotionally stable, I have no doubt that he still can have episodes of rage, anti-social moods, or crippling survivor's guilt, but I think he no longer allows those feelings/episodes to push away the people he cares about or disregard his true personal desires to be kind/protective towards others. He knows how to deal with those feelings now. But he spent a long time not yet at that stable level, until much later. Until then, he was frankly wavering, conflicting with his personal resolve, denying his own ideals, and allowing his survivor's guilt manifesting as ghosts to sway him away from his true desires/motivations/values of Compassion. Dimitri was Weak for a time. So I can't say that he was in the same category of Strength as Masamune and Claude.

Dimitri's backstory of his father's death and idolizing Rodrigue, after he took him in, is information he canonically tells the player.

But I realize that Sengoku Basara 2009 never actually mentions a backstory like this for Yukimura. I'm actually referencing the takarazuka version of Sengoku Basara. In that play, they include a childhood backstory scene, where Yukimura's father was a subordinate of Takeda and died while protecting him. Young Yukimura blamed Takeda for his father's death and went to punch him out. Because Takeda understood that Yukimura needed catharsis and was trying to reconcile with his grief, Takeda allowed himself to be punched. But he also punched back. I think maybe to encourage Yukimura to keep going? I can't remember. But eventually, Yukimura punched out all his anger and only had energy left to finally cry, and Takeda said something that comforted him. From then on, he called Takeda "Oyakata-sama" and became completely devoted to him. This explained the origin of the running gag from the 2009 anime, wherein Takeda and Yukimura engage in fist fights as a form a bonding. (It's a shame that the video of these scenes was taken off YouTube. ;_; ) I don't know if "Sengoku Basara Sanada Yukimura-den" mentions how Yukimura's father dies, since he finally appeared in that game. So I'm referencing the takarazuka version.

There isn't really mention of Masamune's mother in the 2009 Sengoku Basara anime. The closest, was Masamune's maternal uncle appearing in the movie "The Last Party" that ended that anime series. But historically, after the real life Date Masamune survived smallpox at a young age, and lost sight in his right eye, there was a lot of dissent among the other high ranking people within his clan, concerning his continued position as the Date clan's head. A lot of this dissent was lead by his mother, who insisted that Masamune's younger brother should become the new clan leader instead. Some accounts say that to shut up accusations that Masamune was weak and that his faulty eye was just an advertised weakness that enemies would take advantage of on the battlefield, Masamune either pulled out his own right eye or ordered Katakura to do it. Apparently, that shut up everyone except his mother, who still continued to try undermining his position. I don't know if there was one instance of several, but she also tried to kill him through poisoning, to replace him with his brother. Because of this, Masamune's only choice was to kill his own little brother, which forced his mother to run back to her original clan. (I can only assume that Masamune didn't just kill his mother, because it's possible she indoctrinated his brother to ursurp him. So Masamune might have ended up eventually needing to kill his brother anyway.) Lots of us in the Sengoku Basara fandom like to headcanon that all of this happened for the Basara version of Masamune too.

It's my understanding that Cornelia implicated Dimitri's stepmother in the murder of his father and friends at the Tragedy of Duscur, but that things were still left canonically vague. Personally, the fact that Patricia was always kind to Dimitri, combined with the fact that Cornelia is proven duplicitous, I find it difficult to believe that Patricia intentionally betrayed Dimitri. The way Cornelia described it, she offered Patricia a chance to be reunited with her daughter Edelgard, Patricia confirmed that desire, then the Tragedy of Duscur happened. Given that Cornelia was already doing terrible things behind Patricia's back, like experimenting on Hapi, and Patricia being angry at Cornelia when she discovered Hapi, I doubt that Cornelia would have been fully truthful with Patricia. I imagine Cornelia tricked Patricia into opening a path or lowering some defenses to "allow a clandestine meeting with Edelgard", but then Cornelia would probably use it to sneak in enemies to kill Dimitri's father and friends. That's my headcanon theory on the Tragedy of Duscur anyway. So Dimitri was only *possibly* betrayed by his mother figure.

And that's my comparison between DateSana and DimiClaude/DMCL/ClauDimi. It continuously amazes me how similar these ships are and how my shipping has come full circle. lol

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sagebodisattva · 5 years

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Fatalism in the Modern World

So let's talk a little about Fatalism, a philosophical position that suggests the subservience of all activities and happenings to fate. Fatalism generally refers to any of the following ideas: The view that we are powerless to do anything other than what we actually do. Included in this is that man has no power to influence the future, or indeed, his own actions. An attitude of resignation in the face of some future event or events which are thought to be inevitable. That acceptance is appropriate, rather than resistance against inevitability. So these ideas are closely related to determinism and defeatism, which are mindsets that are associated with pessimism and cynicism, which are indicative of grounded positions rooted in the dark spectrum of ill psychologies.

So, right out the box, we can see why these presuppositions appeal to the average, sardonic man. It relieves him of all responsibility, makes him feel less emasculated by his own disempowered disposition, enables the pathos of his hapless condition, and helps him feel less guilty about his own inaction, apathy and any possible immoral behaviors; assuming that he has a shred of conscience that causes self reflection and recapitulation. It's not safe to assume that. This is a very degenerative state of existence for a human being to resign himself to. It's basically throwing in the towel and giving up. It is often a position that develops as a result of a long journey into the depths of the external, which will always, without exception, conclude with disappointment and failure to assuage the common anxieties that plague the modern man. Indeed, so many of us are like hungry ghosts, wandering around in vain, searching longingly for something to fulfill our desperation... and we can just imagine how the hungry ghost's search will turn out, for there is nothing found externally that will ever bring it lasting peace.

But, in a way, the fatalist is right: with this mindset and attitude, and the refusal to investigate and probe deeper into the introspective source, fate will command your path. For those that are content to hit the cruise control and ride their existential agency out on auto pilot, your course will be ruled by destiny, no question about it. But. for those who have done a little deeper experimentation and investigation into the source of awareness, the only factor that cannot be disputed due to the discernible empirical first hand self evidence of such, these suggestions are utter nonsense, and irresponsible dereliction.

"We are powerless to do anything other than what we actually do."

What is that? Does this actually mean anything, or is this just a hungry ghost moaning about his bleak plight? What else would you hope to do, other then what you can actually do? Maybe you are getting caught up on the inference of the concept of 'actuality', of which, is comparable to defining one's limits and possibilities to a shackle around one's ankle. What is actual is that you are aware of an experience of a reality; beyond that, anything else proposed will either contribute to weighing you down, or will serve to facilitate your freedom from self imposed limitations. It's as simple as that.

So much of how everything is assembled is arranged so to fortify your disempowerment, and at the core of this marginalization is the dictating narrator, the constant chatter of the thinking mind, which reinforces the disempowerment by continually sustaining it through stubborn attachment to dogmatic narrative; external verification substantiated by way of reflective aspects and validation via confirmation bias. All of this gives the impression that the restricting parameters are not the result of self imposed limitations, but are, in fact, the unbendable laws that one has no choice but to abide. And of course, this assumed set up fits well with most people's predilection, so it's a self fulfilling prophecy and a cycle that eventually reinforces itself with little or no provocation. The notion that you are powerless to do anything other then what you can actually do, in itself, is self defeatism, for it helps to revert the awareness into conformity to the idea of powerlessness as the accepted normative condition, while promoting the idea of the severe limitation of the existential agency; casting a cloud of weakness, and hence distrust and disdain, to the very aspect that is most sure, most immediate, and most self evident.

With this as a mindset, which we can liken to a harnessed horse with blinders, what kind of conclusion about reality will be realized that isn't in deference to some sort of external phenomena? This is the conditioning that must be unlearned in order to take responsibility and command of your reality. Things are not as solid, fixed and rigid as we fancy them to be. Anything and everything, in your idea of an outer space contextualization, was originally sourced from a superpositional potentiality. There is no such thing as actual phenomenal content; for, anything manifested, whether it be an object, a force, a law, or a material phenomena, is empty unsubstantial transient and impermanent. Increased lucidity reveals the hidden designs of these projections as sourced from pure potential, which is the foundation of physics and the source of all manifestations. And pure potential doesn't follow any rules; it produces rules. Pure potential isn't bound to anything as limited and contextual as determinism. If determinism does have any role as a factor in a produced reality, then it is only as a supportive role, conditional to, and framed within, a manifestation with borders; of which, is rooted in pure potential, which is limitless, undefinable, immeasurable and ineffable.

We can become powerful when we position ourselves to be unbounded by actuality. This requires meta awareness and detachment from the identification with the persona; which, cannot influence the future or even it's own actions, due to being immersed in disempowerment. Indeed, only those whose mind's are untethered from the rigid confines of the worldly ego can influence the conditions of the present moment; which is all there really is, in truth; the ideas of past and future being only illusory concepts, with no basis in reality, which is the false premise upon which the idea of determinism, is constructed.

And, of course, the untethered awareness can also influence the actions of the persona, which is afforded to those who are not slaves to the impulses, desires, and visceral demands of the physicality. Without this, it's understandable why an ego would resign itself to the idea of an inevitable future, for it is powerless in this state of being, and with this program as it's conditioning, resignation does seem like the appropriate response, because mere thoughts and actions performed by a world based persona are not going to make any difference. Yet, on a sort of side note, if we consider pure potentiality, in a sense, the fundamental essence could be said to be both eternally always so in superposition, yet deterministic, for the oneness of all that is, while non-committed and free of all qualities, is always as such, determinedly so. And the cosmic Maya of time, change, development, condition, and circumstance, while of illusion, are, at the same time, as illusion, equally forever present, never created nor destroyed, perpetually happening instantly and simultaneously.

But this is a bit tangential to the specific matter of a persona in delusion, struggling with paradoxical absurdity. But it does highlight that illusion does have both the qualities of determinism and free will, but much of it will depend on whether the mind is over the matter, or if the matter is above the mind. When the matter is over the mind, the persona will be at the mercy of fate, as it is identifying with illusion instead of knowing itself as the source of awareness; and as such, will be subject to conditions, which are bound to a cause; and causes, under these conditions, are tied up in dependent origination. Brining the mind over matter is to break these rules, much as a hacker can compromise a program, and this leads to the wisdom of knowing that, as lucidity reveals, illusion is a production of the mind, and as such, ironically, there is nothing to change, nothing to command, nothing to gain, and nothing to fix; for what good does it do to tinker with an illusion if one is already awake and aware that it is the source of these illusions, which only beg to be changed, commanded, gained or fixed, when one is in delusion? But, if you are not of the mind to take responsibility for reality, and are resigned to let illusion steer the fate of your ego, then also in this case, there is nothing for you to do about it; and while this buries one deeper in illusion and makes it much harder to self recognize, perhaps it can reveal the flaw in the fatalistic reasoning.

It's called the "Idle argument", which states that if something is fated, then it would be pointless or futile to make any effort to bring it about, so why not just be idle instead? The points of the argument are stated as follows:

If it is fated for you to recover from an illness, then you will recover whether you call a doctor or not. Likewise, if you are fated not to recover, you will not do so whether you call a doctor or not. But either it is fated that you will recover from this illness, or it is fated that you will not recover. Therefore, it is futile to consult a doctor.

Indeed, if you are resigned to fatalism and a deterministic belief system, then really, there is no reason for you to do anything at all, for whatever it is that you do, or don't do, is already determined, and since it's already determined, there isn't a choice to make, a casual action to perform, an effect to influence, nor any conditions to change; unto yourself, others, or to the world. So you might as well stay in bed all day; and don't worry, if you do, it was already determined to be that way by fate. So does this really seem like a sound philosophy? Or just an elaborate device designed as an excuse to not do anything; or if one does something, to not take any responsibility for doing it, or not doing it, as the case may be.

But what about logical fatalism and the argument from bivalence? Well these are very antiquated arguments, and not that difficult to pick apart due to being based on weak limited tools of reasoning. Logic does have it’s application, but it is hardly an all encompassing be all and end all, believe it or not. The key idea of logical fatalism is that there is a body of true propositions (statements) about what is going to happen, and these are true regardless of when they are made.

So, for example, if it is true today that tomorrow there will be a baseball game, then there cannot fail to be a baseball game tomorrow, since otherwise it would not be true today that such a baseball game will take place tomorrow. What if the baseball game gets rained out? Then what? Then what was true today fails to be true tomorrow due to an unforeseen factor. Furthermore, to suppose that there is a body of predetermined true propositions fails, due to indefiniteness and the lack of identification of the agency where these propositions are given context of truth, outside of the subject that is asserting such presuppositions. Through logic, one may assign a truth value to a proposition before something is shown to be true or not, but one cannot assign a definite one. How could that be justified?

I hate to say it, but much of these notions of predetermination, destiny, and absolute truth value, stink of theological concepts. Logical fatalism assumes a perennial set of all propositions, which exist without being proposed by anyone in particular, and for that reason alone, are incompatible with logic. Where are these predetermined definite predictions assembled? Predetermined by what? By whom? Where are they located? When were they made? How were they determined? Why are they predicted as such? If you want to assert the pre-existence of truth in the future then you need some basis to substantiate it, and so, on what are you substantiating it upon? Pre-existence of truth in regards to what? What is it pre-existing exactly? Relative to what? Pre-existing to the subject that makes all this shit up? Yeah, of course. That's always the underlying motive, isn't it? If there really is pre-existing truth out there, independent of the ones who define it, then this begs for explanation. By explaining that it is the objective configuration of a material universe doesn't explain one damn thing, since you cannot substantiate the context and origination of this so called universe. We assume a universe exists because we experience it? Ah well, then it sounds like the only thing you can be really sure of at the very least is that you have an awareness of appearances. Beyond that, you don't really know jack shit. You are just telling stories about appearances, not much different then theology.

So pre-determined truths exist independently of the very thing that provides you with the ability to determine a truth? Fascinating. And I suppose the universe has it's own story independent of the one who is telling the story about it? This universe does seem like a great mythology, but if you wanna push the truth of its independent existence, then authenticate that it's independent please. Oh right, you can't do that. So then this whole idea ceases to be logical determinism because it is depending on fallacious arguments; and what good is logic if it is only a tool of an inconsequential subject that is a byproduct of something that exists independently of it? Doesn't really sound like all that great of a tool at all. I'd prefer a tool that exists independently of me. I think it might be somehow more reliable since it's a tool that's not crafted by my own bias. Sounds handy!

Then there is the so called “principle of bivalence”; the idea that propositions, that it to say, statements of opinion or value judgment, can only either be true or false, absolutely, with no in between; which is a silly proposition in itself.

Here are some statements that can be either true or false:

Pepperoni pizza is the best type of pizza when seasoned with garlic.

Irishmen that own lawnmowers don't drink alcohol.

Dogs with leather collars chase squirrels.

It is not certain whether or not a healthy diet will result in weight loss.

Should I continue? This principle is just another tired presupposition of objectivity and absolutism, which is attempting establish these theories as default axioms. If demonstrating how it's not accurate to say that a proposition can only either be true or false, due to ambiguity, uncertain variables and the indeterminate nature of a future truth, is in discord with classical logic, then logic really is a weak tool with very limited application.

I will further deconstruct logic in the future, but for now, I'll wrap this up by pointing out that so much of the motives behind fatalism, as is also the case with most philosophies, ideologies, theologies and mythologies out there, involve the usual attempt to dismiss the interconnectivity of reality with the mind, and to keep the externalized monkey in the mirror syndrome conditioning intact. It's rarely ever just said outright, for they don't even wanna draw attention to it by even mentioning it, but instead, it is indirectly implied through various elaborate philosophical confections, complex mathematical equations, intriguing scientific postulations, cloak and dagger conspiracy theories and fantastical theological allegorical parables. Yes, there are many different fashions of distractions and diversions, but all of them share in common the aim to misdirect the attention away from itself and to fixate on the perceptibles, all of which serve to reinforce the conditioning of the disempowered mind that is in self imposed submission to matter. Will you take the necessary steps to examine this condition, discover it's secrets and free yourself? Or will you simply become a modern day fatalist, resigned to a destiny that is out of your hands, living a life of a hungry ghost, stuck in a medium of predetermined stifled helpless desperation?

#Fatalism

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franeridart · 7 years

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after watching the new episode i was wondering if it possible for TodoBaku or is there moment that show Bakugou doesn't really mind about Todoroki in the later chapter ? and what's your opinion in TodoBaku ? how do you see their relationship ? Thanx :)

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh what a good great unexpected question - personally, I don’t ship it romantically one bit, but it is one of my favorite dekusquad/bakusquad relationships - I guess you might consider it something similar to an accidental sort-of-friendship neither of them seem to actually have noticed yet? It’s definitely a unique relationship for either of them, at least… they make it clear more than once that they Do Not Give A Fuck about the other’s personal struggles, I just can’t see them talking and finding sympathy in each other, but that just ends up giving them a kind of blunt and no-bullshit relationship that doesn’t stop them from working together when needed. I don’t know how to properly explain it, honestly, but they’re fun!

I don’t know how much spoilers you want so I’ll keep this as vague as I can, but they do happen together more than either of them would like, and their relationship is a really amusing one for me - Todoroki actually cracks jokes with Bakugou around, though always with his neutral face and making fun of Bakugou himself when he does, and the way he has of just straight out ignoring Bakugou’s insults and fire-spitting and answering as if they were having a civil conversation is weirdly entertaining tbh

I wouldn’t say that Bakugou “doesn’t mind Todoroki”, but he does end up having way more important things to think about than his one-sided rivalry with him, and once he starts settling things with Deku the narrative mostly moves to push in that direction, which means that every interaction he has with Todoroki is either on neutral grounds or in the middle of forced cooperation, pushing any antagonism they might have to the background, really - also, the more the story goes on the more Bakugou becomes civil with the rest of the class, so there’s that too! Anyway, they’re fun to me, I wish to draw more of them in the future tbh

Anon said:I do laugh at Bakugou’s reaction on the podium bc visually its animated funny. But u r right that the whole thing is fucked. How is that even appropriate to do to him? And it takes until after his fight with deku many arcs later for All Might to say “we maybe sort of neglected this kid’s mental health.” Like wtf. It upsets me sometimes to think just how much All Might just doesn’t even *see* Bakugou. So much is wrong about this, from putting Bakugou on display to forcing the medal on him.

Blessed words all of them - it’s why I’m such a fan of the idea of Bakugou without even noticing switching his role model to Aizawa, actually? Aizawa’s the only adult figure in the whole manga who’s constantly been there for Bakugou, he has his future and mental health and reputation constantly in mind and works his ass off to try and help him along as much as possible, he takes note of everything Bakugou goes through, every switch in mood and worsening in personality and interpersonal relationships, and he’s always incredibly fast in nudging him towards the right path again - and Bakugou noticed. He trusts Aizawa to know him, follows his directions and accepts his advices, believes he’ll have his back without an ounce of doubt, that’s the tutor/student relationship Bakugou deserves

I understand that All Might has a lot of problems of his own and he’s just learning to be a teacher anyway, but he found it in himself to be there for Deku, while Bakugou has been obviously staring at his back for the whole length of the manga and it took All Might 120 chapters to notice, that’s just plain sad

Anon said:What’s your favorite Bakugou headcannon?

BOI I have a lot! One is mentioned in the ask up there, actually haha but generally you can see most of them in my art? I like the idea of him being an artist a lot, given how both his parents are into it, I like to think he’s a rock-music type of kid, I have weird headcanons about his dorm room all including too fancy-looking designer furniture and one too many hero figures stuffed under his bed - he might have a fire extinguisher or two in there as well. Also, he’s a restless sleeper (more like a fighter sleeper) and never wears socks ever

I like to think most of his clothes are black because it’s the color on which the soot from his explosions is the least noticeable, and that he unironically honest to god thinks skulls are the coolest thing ever and can’t stop himself from buying every piece of clothing with them on it (first time he entered Tokoyami’s room he died what a cool place he never wanted to leave ever again); that he really doesn’t like the sea - or taking long baths/showers - because water washes his sweat away and he feels defenceless and it’s horrible, and that rain makes him useless like it does to Mustang from FMA (haha)

He names everything after fire arms (has an extensive, nearly to the point of being uselessly detailed knowledge of those) be it his special moves or his pets or his toys when he was a kid or every and each of the pokemon he’s ever had in any game he’s ever played - he’s a gamer! Mostly into fighting games, though they frustrate him because now and again he blows the controller up without realizing and he’s forced to stop playing, but he also likes strategy-based rpgs a lot (all his characters are called King Of Explodo-kills. All of them)

He talks in hyperboles most of the times, means a thing but uses a word fifty times stronger than necessary to express it instead, and he’s so not used to positive emotions that the first time he feels them it takes him a while to figure out exactly what it is that he’s feeling - he’s an affectionate friend, though he has weird ass ways of showing it, and this part of him is new to him as well since it’s just coming out now that he’s got the squad (he was nearly sure the kids in middle school were his friends, but what kind of friend leaves you to be saved by Deku when a villain attacks?) (meeting the squad made him realize he’d never actually had friends before, it was a bittersweet feeling)

………..okay enough, you asked for my fave and I just blabbered half an hour. I don’t even know which one’s my fave tbh hahaha

Anon said:as much as I like the anime, seeing the sports festivals always makes me sad because bakugou is still an angry kid, but at that time thats pretty much the only thing people see, while after in the manga, yes hes still angry but hes softer? in a way? idk he grew up so seeing him back at the first point makes me sad (sorry for the rant I have a lot of feelings abt this lmao)

He HAS grown, hasn’t he! I hadn’t realized just how much until I saw him back at the beginning of this season yelling at Todoroki the he should stop thinking about Deku and start worrying about him - it’s? Painful? He’s in a constant fight against the whole world, while now you see him way more with his guard down and just… existing. I’m so proud of him and all the good great amazing relationships he’s built ;u;

Anon said:What episode 12 needs is the bakusquad getting angry at how Bakugou was treated because you can’t convince me they were okay with that.

Hmmmmmmmmmm boy I would love that, but all things considered at that point, given how Kaminari and Mina and Sero reacted to Bakugou’s fight with Uraraka, I can kind of safely assume they didn’t think much of it cause they honestly thought Bakugou would flip and destroy the world if not restrained - Kirishima might have found it eccessive, possibly, but in that case too his relationship with Bakugou was just being formed, he didn’t know Bakugou enough to be sure he wouldn’t just lounch himself at Todoroki as soon as he was free

What I can imagine is all four of them some months in the future thinking back on it and going, man, fuck, that really was messed up, what the hell, and for a whole week Bakugou’s highly confused and kinda creeped out by how nice they’re being to him (at some point he starts thinking it’s a quirk) (they stop and go back to normal once they realize he’s honestly trying to figure out a way to unmake it)

Anon said:have you ever thought about…. ojinari (denki and ojirou) beings best buds or just hanging out? and i always liked the idea that baku and kiri get a little jealous whenever denki fawns over ojirou’s soft tail

I have!! It’s also pretty much canon, they’re seen interacting a lot - I don’t know about jealousy tho, mostly because I like to think Baku and Kiri enjoy Ojiro’s friendship a whole damn lot too haha Ojiro’s probably the only one who trains just as much as they do, really, he must be a great gym partner

Anon said:Holy mother of–the medal around Bakugou’s neck is just–I have no words but it’s such a really thoughtful and beautiful way to represent just *waves hands* I can’t explain it but it was really perfect and you’re such a great artist aND BAKU DESERVES BETTER

Holy smokes thank you!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!! ;;;A;;; I’m so glad you liked it, oh b o i and yessssss at least he deserves a lot more respect than he ever gets from anyone that isn’t his friends ;~;

Anon said:I know the chains and muzzle were probably(?) for comedic effect like “hahaha he’s so angry we had to restrain him” but dang I’m with you that was just wayyy too far. Crossing into inhumane territory there

;-; I’m so glad I’m not the only one that feels like this about that

Anon said:Okay…. but have you considered in the recent chapters….. platonic kirideku….. (please, I need more of their pure friendship)

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I have, they’re pretty cute and pure and Kirishima’s a ball of excitement and fighting spirit as usual and Deku is kinda there trying to keep up all wobbly smiles and good intentions (he’s not used to the hype people poor child *pats his head*) which is amusing, I don’t mind their relationship at all! But as of now I still haven’t found anything about it unique and interesting enough to make me want to draw it? They’re cute! But they feel… sorta superficial? Like, Kirishima’s friends with everyone, and Deku’s friends with everyone, so of course they’re gonna be friends with each other too! But that’s about it right now. I dunno, maybe it’ll develop more in the future and I’ll decide I want to draw it, who knows!

Anon said:Have you seen that vine with the drunk guys recording singing backstreet’s back? The guy recording is kiri the guy angrily carrying the other drunk guy is baku and the guy being carried is kami

Oh my god this is the best thing I’ve thought about all day, bless you anon hahaha I can’t stop laughing send h e l p the angry look is just so Baku how did they even get him to carry Kami rip

Anon said:I’m sorry if this is annoying of something (mostly bc it’s not a question really) but I REALLY needed to tell you your art is awesome and you made me giggle like a little girl (especially at your kiribaku stuff), and I spent hours at it. You’re amazing!!

It’s not annoying at all!!!! Oh my god, thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Sero giving Bakugo some kind of tape corset is just… omg Fran.

It’s not easy keeping the explosive friend at bay, but someone gotta do it (usually it’s Kirishima) (Sero works well enough when the target of Baku’s yelling is Kiri himself, tho)

Anon said:I just wanted to let you know that bnha has been all over my dash forever but the only reason i’m watching it is you. I found you through your haikyuu art (the bokuku.roteru comic to be specific) and I was sad that you don’t post much hq anymore, so I figured I would watch bnha so that I could enjoy your art to the fullest 😅 I’m only 8 episodes in but i like it so far!

I’m!!!!!! So happy you’re liking it, holy smokes!!!!!!!!! *O* thank you so much for deciding to try it out only for my art, oh myyyyyy ;u;

Anon said:Okay so… This is going to sound honestly terrible but… If Suneater needs to eat something to get his abilities, what would happen if he ate a human with a quirk? Would he be able to use it too?? Gosh. This is so morbid. Sorry for the ask.

DON’T!!!!!!!!!! worry anon this is a home open to every and each speculation as far as quirks go I live for this shit - also I might or might not have thought about this too (I have) and I guess as long as quirks are classified as physical attributes then he would gain the quirk? Mutations, for sure, but stuff like Bakugou’s sweat works too (he can use the venom in the animals he eats so nitroglycerin sweat is fair game) and probably body-shifting like Kirishima would work as well… I’m not sure about stuff like Shinsou’s quirk, but if there’s a gene or an actual mutated part of his body that can make him control people, then probably it’s be okay too

Please Jiki don’t ever eat anyone, tho lol

Anon said:I also am weak for the need vs want. I’ve actually said that to people. Don’t need you, I want you hahaha love you, Fran!!

Anon said:OMG Fran the comic !!! the soft kiribaku !!! and i love that Bakugou can still live without Kirishima but his live will be colourless, just LOVE IT !!!!!!

THANK YOU BOTH SO MUCH OH MY GOD!!!! I’m super glad you liked it!!!!!!!!!!!!

#fran answers #GUESS WHO FEELS CHATTY TODAY #i do #this is the longest ask post in the history of this blog #ship asks #and #bakugou headcanons #metaing all around #there's a lot of blabbering in this but i don't feel good enough to draw so asks answers it is #yaaaayyyyyyyyyy #anonymous #i just realized but probably my fave bakugou headcanon is that he's in love with kiri anon #tho that was pretty obvious wasnt it #lmao

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