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videovamptramp · 9 months

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i would do anything for you to love me

(song: american hero - rainbow kitten surprises // natasha x fem reader)

summary - you have an obvious crush on natasha, and consistently do little things that prove so. though, she’s a grump who doesn’t know how to respond to your advances. this ultimately leads to her hurting your feelings.

warnings: mean nat, grumpy natasha, y/n is too sweet for her own good. a bit angsty but fluffy ending

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“hey nat!” you exclaim, and natasha nearly drops her coffee mug due to the sound of your high pitched voice. natasha turns to glare at you, “how many times do i have to tell you not to call me that?" she snaps, and your shoulders deflate a bit. “sorry, natasha! i just wanted to see if you were alright. you came back from that mission yesterday and you didn’t even have dinner...” you say, and natasha turns her head to keep her back towards you. “i’m fine.” it was an obvious lie, but natasha didn’t know that you knew that.

you merely nod, “okay, nat— natasha. i just brought you some of those banana and nutella crepe’s you like from that place downtown. here.” you reveal, as you place the to-go box on the counter that the redhead was leaning on. “thanks.” natasha mutters, and you smile widely at the small moment of politeness. natasha turns her head to see you smiling like an idiot, and her scowl returns as something unwanted in her stomach flutters. “is that all you wanted?” natasha asks a bit harshly, and your smile falters. “oh, yeah! sorry! i’ll leave you alone now!” you promise as you scurry away, leaving natasha alone. at least she thought she was alone.

“god, you’re such a cunt.” yelena murmurs, half asleep as she walks into the kitchen of the compound. natasha glares at her younger sister, “well good morning to you too.” natasha hisses, and yelena rolls her eyes as she reaches for a clean mug. yelena doesn’t say anything else to the redhead as she pours herself a cup of fresh coffee. "what has you in such a crap mood?” natasha asks, evidently annoyed. “nothing. i just figured we were all being asshole’s today, considering how you just behaved with y/n.” yelena’s response causes natasha to scoff. “oh please, i’m always like that with her. she’s like, borderline obsessed with me. nothing i say bothers her.” the older woman explains with a careless shrug, and yelena blinks at her sister in disbelief.

“she has a crush on you, идиот (idiot). god forbid somebody actually cares about you.” yelena whispers with a hiss in order to keep herself from snapping at her sister. natasha rolls her eyes, “i don’t want her to care about me. i don’t care about her at all. the sooner she realizes that, the better.” natasha simplifies, and shakes her head in dismay, before scoffing. ”you don’t deserve her anyways.” yelena mutters as she reaches for the to-go box that was originally for natasha. natasha glares, “that’s mine—” “you don’t deserve it.” yelena cuts in with a snarky tone, before she takes the crepes and coffee back to her room, leaving natasha alone.

natasha throws her coffee out into the sink, by now it's gone dog-nose cold. she tries to continue on with her day after that, though her thoughts of you, and the amount of unnecessarily sweet things you do for her, circulate through her mind. the way you leave files on her desk with cute little sticky notes. you bring her lunch or dinner up to her room, whenever she’s too mentally exhausted to join the team in the kitchen. you even bring her a protein shake after her practices and training sessions. natasha doesn’t remember telling you her favorite flavor protein shake, but you somehow know it’s peanut butter and chocolate.

the next morning natasha wakes up, and the kitchen is abnormally empty. she opens the cabinet, hoping someone bought new coffee so she wouldn’t have to. low and behold, there was a weeks worth of coffee in the cabinet with a sticky note and your handwriting on it.

“hey natasha! i’m going out of town for a week but i restocked the place with your favorite things! — y/n.”

natasha reaches for the note, and frowns. out of town? you didn’t mention a vacation to her. then again, she hadn’t really been in a talking mood yesterday. she never really was. “morning natasha. oh sweet!! someone bought coffee!” bucky exclaims as he reaches for the new tub of coffee beans. natasha stuffs the note in her pocket, “hey, where’s y/n?” natasha asks, and bucky furrows his brows. “she went out of town to visit her family for a week. i thought she told everyone about it the other day?” bucky questions, and natasha thinks back to a few days ago.

“hey nat!” you exclaim, your bubbly voice filling the gym as you bounce in. natasha scowls at the sight of you, “what do you want?” she asks, sounding harsher than usual. “oh, i was just looking for you to tell you something! i brought your shake!” you admit as you hand her the protein shake. “look, y/n, whatever you have to say, save it. i’m not in the mood today.” she snaps, and you frown. “o-oh okay. sorry nat i—”

“and my name is natasha!” she raises her voice and you flinch a bit. a wave a of guilt washes over her for a second, but she keeps her arms crossed and a glare on her face. “sorry natasha.” you mumble before walking out, and leaving natasha to train. “wow.” wanda chirps in, and natasha looks over at the other redhead. “what?” natasha asks angrily, “she just wanted to give you a shake and have a conversation.” wanda points out, and natasha rolls her eyes. “i don’t want to talk to her. and i didn’t ask her to make me a shake. i never ask her for anything. you’d think she’d take the hint and stop already.” natasha grumbles, and wanda nods. “well, maybe one day she will. i do think you’ll miss the actions more than she will though. so be careful what you wish for.” wanda warns, and natasha waves her off with narrowed her eyes as shoves her earbuds in and takes a big chug of her shake. it’s peanut butter and chocolate. her favorite.

“i guess she forgot to tell me.” natasha mutters, and bucky nods. “well, she’ll be back on sunday night.” he assures her as he opens the fridge. “oh sweet, there’s new bacon!!” he exclaims in a giddy tone, and natasha swallows thickly. you’re not here and you still did something for her.

natasha feels your absence throughout the day. it’s as if the compound is dimmer, and lacking any life. nobody brings natasha her shake, and she had to make it herself; though it doesn’t taste as good as when you make it. natasha always uses too much peanut butter. the rest of natasha’s day is no better. she doesn’t join the team for dinner, and she isn’t greeted by the sound of your soft knocks and a plate of her favorite foods.

natasha’s entire week without you is unexpectedly hell. for some reason, you seem to be the only person who seeks natasha out. you know when she’s having a bad day, you know when she’s had a terrible mission, you even know when she’s in a good mood. natasha doesn’t understand how you know all these things about her, she’s never once bothered to open up to you. it makes her feel a surge of guilt as she recalls all the times you’d try to talk to her, and she’d turn you down. she wishes she understood why she suddenly felt so weak without you. why her days dragged on when she didn’t hear the sound of your voice.

you return on sunday night, and as soon as natasha sees you, she knows somethings wrong. you smile at her, but you don’t greet her with your usual “hey nat!”. you drag your bags up to your room, and without a word you don’t come out until the morning. natasha doesn’t sleep that night; you’ve been gone for a week, and you didn’t even bother to say hello to her. why? you’re in the kitchen the next morning, chatting with yelena, “hey natasha.” you greet her with a soft smile. she doesn’t enjoy the way her full name sounds rolling off your tongue, despite how many times she demanded it.

“morning.” she greets back, eyeing you for a moment before shuffling passed bucky and thor to the coffee machine. natasha makes herself a cup of coffee, and can’t help but listen to you and yelena quietly talk about some show yelena’s watching. she doesn’t understand why it bothers her that you’re talking to someone else and not her. it’s what she wanted isn’t it? to be left alone by you. natasha huffs, and is out of the kitchen as soon as her mug is full of piping hot coffee.

today you don’t bring natasha a shake, and you don’t go out of your way to see or talk to her. natasha is in a grumpier mood than usual because of it. she hopes this is just a momentary thing. maybe you’re just taking it out on her for the way she acted before you left. you’ll be back to normal again by tomorrow. right? natasha doesn’t know why she's hoping that’s the case.

that definitely isn’t the case. the next three days pass and you barely say a word to natasha. you still smile at her, but the shine in your eyes seems to have disappeared. natasha has a haunting realization that you may have realized what yelena has been saying all along; you deserve better. better than natasha and her complex moods. better than the way she treats you. better than her and her need to push away anyone who truly cares about her.

natasha hasn’t been to dinner with the team for two weeks now, and you haven’t once brought her a plate. something about the sudden distance makes natasha inexplicably angry. your cheerfulness in your voice is gone whenever speaking to her, and she can’t figure out why your smile doesn’t reach your eyes like it did before. it takes two and a half weeks of this for natasha to get fed up and finally do something about it. she finds you on the treadmill in the gym alone, getting your cardio in.

this time, natasha tries a different approach. she brings you a protein shake. “hey. this is for you.” natasha says bluntly, and it causes your running to falter as you stop the electric machine and face natasha. she’s holding out a chocolate shake, and you eye it carefully. “i swear i didn’t poison it.” she promises, and you raise your eyebrows. “did— did you make it? for me?” you ask a bit uncertainly. natasha’s brows are scrunched together, and she scoffs.

“well, i don’t see anyone else in here do you?” she asks impatiently, still holding the protein shake. you gladly take it, and a small smile tugs at your lips. “thanks natasha.” you thank her, before taking a sip. it has way too much chocolate in it, but you don’t mind. the gesture is undoubtedly sweet. natasha stands there for a moment, and you blink up at her. “it’s good.” you obviously lie politely in order to spare her feelings, and natasha rolls her eyes. “you make them better than i do.” she grunts out, making your smile widen.

for some reason the curve on your lips makes natasha’s chest flutter. she clears her throat, “i’m uh— i’m sorry if i scared you off. i don’t take to kindness too well... your little acts of genuine kindness scared me. it wasn’t my intention to be such a jerk to you.” natasha apologizes, refusing to meet your eyes. you’re a bit surprised by the unexpected apology, and you shake your head quickly. “you didn’t!” you respond without thinking, “you didn’t scare me off... the truth is it’s been a tough few weeks for me. i’m not very close with my parents and whenever i visit, a fight always breaks out. it wasn’t my intention to make you think i was shutting you out, i’ve just been a little sad since going back home.” you promise, and her eyes widen.

“wait, so you... you aren’t angry with the way i’ve been treating you?” she asks and you shrug. “sure, sometimes you hurt my feelings, but sometimes i can see in your eyes how much you’re hurting. you deserve kindness, natasha. even if you don’t know how to accept it.” your voice is sincere, and natasha’s heart feels like it’s being squeezed so tightly it might pop. something inside of her snaps and she doesn’t even feel the tears brimming in her eyes. your eyes almost widen at the sight of her tears, “why? why are you so nice to me all the time?” natasha asks in a frustrated manner. why is it impossible to hate you? why doesn’t she want to?

“because i know what it feels like when the world hasn’t been kind. like i said, you deserve kindness, natasha.” you iterate, and the redhead lets her chest rise and fall before saying “yo-you can call me nat.” the smile you give her makes it feel like someone lit a match in her belly.

after that, there’s quite a difference in your friendship with natasha; if you could even call it a friendship. the two of you were nearly always together; during breakfast, during training sessions. on late nights doing paperwork, you’d keep natasha company, and she didn’t mind. it goes on like this for a few months, the subtle flirting, light touches, and longing looks. everyone on the team notices, including you both. the problem is, neither of you are brave enough to make the first move.

until you’re both put on a mission with peter and steve. it’s supposed to be an easy mission; peter and steve infiltrate the building across town with the databases and broadcasts, while natasha sets up a bomb in the secret hydra location downtown. except, it’s two minutes passed the time natasha’s supposed to have came out, and she still isn’t here. “steve— don’t start the bomb, nat’s not here yet.” you order, “what? *static* — do you mean— *static* —ot there?” steve’s mics chooses the worst time to start cutting out.

“rogers, stop the plan i’m going in for nat!” you say, and the mic goes silent. “steve?” you ask, but you don't get a response. within a moment a loud explosion sounds throughout the building, and your eyes go wide as the blood goes straight to your ears. you don’t even think twice before rushing out of the van, and running into the building. your eyes dart around, and you find the stairway right way. you go downstairs to where natasha’s supposed to be, and your eyes widen as you see she’s pretty busy fighting off three guys.

you rush over and pry one guy away from her, punching him square in the nose, then kicking him in the crotch. natasha uses one of her widow bites to tase the man, and she doesn’t notice you pulled your gun out until she hears the first shot. she looks over and sees the large man slump forward, and you don’t hesitate to shoot the other right between the eyes. natasha has never seen you use a gun before, and it causes her mouth to go dry for a moment.

you look at her, acting on complete instinct, as you grab her wrist and pull her for the nearest exit. not even a second after you push her out of the building, and stumble on top of her, the building collapses. surely leaving no survivors on the inside. you let out a silent breath of relief, nearly forgetting you’re literally on top of natasha romanoff. natasha pushes you off, glaring at you, “are you out of your fucking mind?!” the redhead shouts, and you frown up at her, propping yourself up on your wrists as she stands up. “why are you yelling at me!?” you ask loudly, your ears still ringing from the explosion.

“because you’re an idiot! you were supposed to follow orders and wait in the van!” natasha looks like shes seething, clenching her fists as she glowers at you. the police sirens snap you guys out of your feud, as you stand up. “get back in the van.” you order, and she scoffs as she follows you back into the van. as soon as you're both in, you speed away from the scene.

“rogers? parker? are you there?” natasha asks, as she uses the emergency walkie. “we’re here, natasha. where y/n? she was trying to tell me something before we got cut out.” steve says over the walkie talkie, and you look over your shoulder, “nothing. it doesn’t matter now.” you say, and natasha glares at you. “doesn’t matter?! you could’ve died! she completely went off orders and ran into the building, rogers.” natasha throws you under the bus and your eyes widen. “what?? y/n, you were supposed to wait in the van!” he reminds and you huff in frustration, hands gripping the steering wheel as you drive back to the compound.

“we’ll talk about this when we meet back at the compound.” steve adds, and your shoulder slouch a bit. you know you’re in for it. when you get to the compound, natasha completely ignores you as she practically stomps to the elevator. you sigh as you watch you her walk away. “y/n, your bleeding.” steve points out, as he gestures to your shoulder. “i think one of the guys i was fighting had a knife or something? it’s just a slash.” you assure him, and peter shakes his head. “that’s a pretty deep slash.” he mutters and steve flashes him a look, “that’s because it’s not a slash. it’s a gash. you need to get to medbay and get that stitched up.” he orders and you want to protest, but the stern look on his face advises you not to.

“yes sir.” you reply as you walk away with your head down. you aren’t upset that steve is disappointed, you’re more upset that natasha is angry at you for saving her. did she really expect you to just sit back and wait for her to die in an explosion? did she really think you weren’t going to go in there for her? your thoughts whirl around your head the entire way to medbay. you don’t mean to be so sensitive, but you can’t help but feel hurt as you realize natasha is angry with you. you don’t like it when natasha is upset with you.

“hey steve, where’s y/n?” yelena asks, sitting on the edge of the countertop as natasha rummages through the fridge for a beer. “medbay. she has a gash in her shoulder that needs stitches.” he admits and natasha knocks over the tub of juice as she practically pulls her head out of the fridge. “she got hurt?” the redhead asks demandingly, and peter shakes her head. “it’s not that bad, it’s just a cut.” he reassures the widow, and natasha slams the fridge shut.

“just a cut? a cut she didn’t even mention— oh i’m gonna kill her!” natasha hisses and the team hears her heavy footsteps as she angrily makes her way to the elevator. “natasha.” steve calls out, keeping his voice calm. she spins around, “what?!” she asks harshly, and he flashes her a look. “go easy on her. i don’t know why she went against my orders, but she sounded frantic before the mic cut off. whatever it was, i’m sure it was worth it to her.” he says, and natasha blinks a few times, the anger slowly leaving her body. you ran into that building for her. if you two would’ve left a second later, you’d both be dead.

natasha doesn’t respond; she swallows thickly, and makes her way to the elevator. the entire way to the medbay she thinks about how mean she was, after you quite literally put your life at risk for her. she also thinks about how sexy you looked while firing a gun. the beep of the elevator brings natasha out of her thoughts as she steps out, and she can already hear you and bruce going back and fourth. “come on, just tell me if it’s green.” you beg and he flashes you a stringent expression. “i’m not going to tell you if hulk’s junk is green!” he scolds, sounding extremely irritated and embarrassed while he attempts to keep still. he was nearly halfway through with your stitches, but you weren't helping by squirming every other minute.

natasha chuckles, causing you both to look over at where she was standing, leaning against the doorway. “you know, i always wondered that too.” she reveals, and bruce rolls his eyes. “oh great, now you’re both here. it’s bad enough i have to listen to this one’s way too personal questions, now i have to make sure these stitches are perfect.” bruce mutters, and natasha smirks, “better make sure you do a great job, banner. and try not to hurt her." natasha says protectively. you blush obviously, and bruce rolls his eyes as he continues.

you glance over at natasha who’s staring intently at the wound on your shoulder. “are you still pissed at me?” you ask, pulling her out of her thoughts and back to reality. she meets your gaze, and she shrugs. “only when i look at you.” she blurts out, and you frown, you shift and bruce glares at you causing you to halt your movements. “did you really come all the way here to tell me you’re still pissed?” you question, narrowing your eyes at the redhead. she crosses her arms tightly, turning her head to the side so she doesn’t have to meet your eyes.

when she doesn’t respond you scoff, turning your own head so you wouldn’t have to look at her anymore either. natasha glances at you every couple of minutes until bruce is done, but you keep your sight locked on the wall beside you. “alright, i’ll give you some antibiotic cream for it, you know the drill. come back next week so i can take the stitches out.” he explains adamantly, and you do a poor imitation of a salute. “sir yes sir.” you joke, making him shake his head, but there’s a faint smile tugging at his lips. “don’t make this a habit, y/n/n.” he adds, and natasha’s piercing eyes snap over to you both. “she won’t.” the redhead answers for you, and you flash bruce a look. “you heard her.” you state, and bruce nods as he makes his way out.

he leaves you and natasha alone, and a silence washes over you both. you gnaw on your bottom lip as you glance at her, before your eyes begin to dart around the room. your kicking your right leg back and fourth in anticipation, mentally preparing yourself to get yelled at or scolded (or both) by natasha. “what you did was seriously stupid. you do get that right? you could’ve died.” the taller woman scolds, but her tone isn’t as harsh as before. you narrow your eyes at her, “you could’ve died! if i hadn’t gone in there... you... you wouldn’t be here right now.” the haunting realization hits you as the words leave your mouth. tears brim your eyes as you clench your fists, “i don’t care if you’re angry! i’d do it again in a heartbeat!” you snap, and natasha looks taken back at the confession. as if the thought of you risking your life for her was so far fetched. as if you don’t think about her every morning and every night. as if her rare smile doesn’t make your day. as if she isn't the only consistent thought running through your chaotic mind all damn day.

“i have been nothing but an asshole to you! do you see that or are you blind?? why would you want to risk your life for someone like me?!” natasha yells back, her nostrils flaring as she crosses her arms, unknowingly flexing her bicep muscles. you have to remind yourself not to ogle her. your fingernails dig into your palms, nearly drawing blood as a few tears leave your eyes. “because you’re not just a fucking asshole, natasha! you’re a person! you’re a great person, and i don’t care how self deprecating you are, you deserve to live! and i— i wouldn’t be able to if you weren’t around... okay?” your voice breaking towards the end as tears fall out of her eyes rapidly.

natasha’s demeanor changes, as her arms fall to her sides, and her jaw unclenches. “what do you mean?” she asks, and you scoff as you turn your head to look at the wall. “please don’t pretend like you don’t know.” you whisper in a pleading tone, and natasha stares at you with those intense emerald eyes. “pretend i don’t know what, y/n?” natasha questions again, this time her tone is more demanding. you look at her, your eyes full of emotions. she’s never seen you so passionately upset, “pretend that you don’t know i’m hopelessly in love with you!” you hiss, balling your fists as you look at her while you cry.

natasha’s eyes nearly widen at the confession, and she stares at you as if she can see right through you. you sigh, shaking your head and wiping your tears away with your palms, “i know you could never love me, and maybe that’s why you don’t understand why i couldn’t just sit back today and let... let you get hurt. i had to go in there, and i would do it again. no matter the outcome.” you iterate certainly, and natasha is looking at you with an unreadable expression. “you’re wrong.” natasha mutters, and you roll your eyes. “if you’re about to gaslight me into thinking i don’t love you, you can just go, nat. i’ve had a long day.” you say in a exhausted tone.

natasha grits her teeth, “you had a long day?! i just almost watched the woman i love get blown up because of me!” natasha shouts, and her hand clamps over her mouth as soon as the words leave her mouth. your eyebrows nearly meet your hairline as soon as you hear those words. “the— the woman you love...? you love me?” you ask, your tone laced with a bit of disbelief and giddiness as your eyes flutter up to meet hers. she takes a step backwards, shaking her head, “n-no i didn’t— i didn’t say that. you misheard.” she says simply, and you grin, finally the air is light again. you giggle despite your tears, “no, i’m pretty sure i heard correctly. i’m also pretty sure there’s high tech cameras in this room, i’ll just ask FRIDAY to run the video.” you shrug and she narrows her eyes at you. “you can, but then you’ll be disappointed because i didn’t say love.” she insists, lying right through her teeth.

“it’s too late for take backs, nat.” you flash her a feline smile, and she scoffs. “there’s nothing to take back!” she defends herself adamantly, and you frown. “oh... okay.” you feign disappointment, pretending to actually feel hurt. she rolls her eyes, crossing her arms again, “god, you’re such a baby. i can’t believe i’m in love with someone who acts like a child.” she murmurs, and your eyes light up. “you’re in love with me?!” you ask, and she looks up at the ceiling. “you keep mishearing things, y/n. you sure that bomb didn't affect your ears?" she plays dumb.

you groan in mock frustration, “naaat.” you drag out her name whiningly, and she can’t help but grin. “fine. maybe i said it. once or twice.” she murmurs finally giving in, and your face breaks out into a gigantic smile. “i knew it! i knew you loved me!” you exclaim as you throw your arms around her neck and pull her in for a hug as you stay seated on the small bed. she rolls her eyes, but eventually hugs back. “can i have a kiss now?! please?” you ask hopefully, and natasha sighs, rolling her eyes as she pretends to be annoyed.

she pulls away, and before you can say anything else, she’s cupping your jaw with one of her strong hands and leaning down to kiss you. your heart is on the brinks of exploding, and you have no idea where to put your hands, but they instinctively land on her waist while you kiss back. suddenly every dismal emotion you've felt today dissipates, and all you can feel is a burst of warm joy. when she pulls away there's this soft smile on her face, and her eyes are full of love. "totally worth almost dying." you whisper, and she rolls her eyes playfully as she leans in and kisses you again.

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virtie333 · 1 year

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One Year Ago

I almost didn't post this. I wrote it for catharsis, but a friend said I should post it as it may help others. I can count on one hand the number of people who know about this. I don't know, maybe I'll delete it....

One year ago today, while cleaning Chester’s paddock, I made plans.

A few days earlier, I had received an email from my brother-in-law that involved some very hurtful and offensive accusations. My sister responded a few days after that, but not with an apology. She defended him, and added her own opinions.

When someone you have loved and trusted your whole life essentially says you are worthless, then it must be true.

So, the next day, I made plans.

I would have to complete my will, first. I would have to make sure Chester went to a local rescue. He wasn’t ridable and though I know a friend might take him as a ‘pasture pet,’ if push comes to shove and they ran short on money, he would be the first to go. The rescue would care for him, and I would make sure that if ever they could no longer do so, they would euthanize him.

My brother would get the other animals and all my belongings. He could sell my truck, trailer, etc. and use the funds to care for my dog Jackson, my cat Rodney, and Stache, the barn cat I had just brought home from work a month earlier. He would take care and love them.

It would have to look like an accident so my life insurance would pay out. God forbid my sister would have to pay for my funeral! I am an avid hiker, and there are trails very close that follow the canyon rim, with a 60 to 100 foot drop straight down. I usually hike with Jackson, but I could say I was leaving him home because he was sore. It would be very easy to slip while checking out the view. It’s happened before up there.

Could I actually do it? Was I brave enough? It was the only way. And I needed to do it soon.

That was my plan.

But wait. I can’t do it right away. Moon Knight just started, and I waited so long for this show and it’s even better than I had hoped and only two episodes have aired so far. I really want to see the rest. It takes my mind off the pain. I’ll wait.

Then I started posting a new story I had written. I didn’t think it would be very popular, as it was very different from my last, popular one, but I have loyal readers. I can’t just leave it unfinished, and have them wondering what happened to me. And I can’t post it all at once, because that will give away the fact that it was planned. So, I’ll wait.

An acquaintance that hated Moon Knight complained and criticized it over and over and I finally broke. I said things. I don’t regret them, because they were the truth, but I immediately became the villain to the rest of the group. Once more, I was reminded that I was unimportant, that my thoughts and feelings were inconsequential. How could I tell them? How could I explain this show literally kept me alive?

So, I waited.

A spark of hope. My brother and I worked toward a future we could both live with. I prayed, and found that I began to believe again for the first time in a long time. The story I was posting, the one I thought would not do well, became my greatest hit. Not only did its success thrill me, but once again, I had something to thank for keeping me alive.

Though low on funds, I made a trip west, to California, to meet up with my best friends in the world. They were the only people I told about my plans. They made sure to let me know how grateful they were I hadn’t followed through. I loved every minute of Galaxy’s Edge and I continued to hope for a better future. And I waited.

The hope was realized just before Christmas. My future wasn’t as dark and scary as it had been. Unfortunately, the loss of Rodney just before New Years kept me down. I was still depressed and full of non-stop anxiety, and on the anniversary of my mother’s death, I once more started falling into that darkness. I left a group I cared a great deal about because I realized a lot of my anxiety was coming from there; it’s hard caring more about people than they do about you. I bawled my eyes out while I clicked that ‘leave’ button, but I don’t regret it. It’s been over two months and only two people have even noticed I left. That says something right there.

Now, for the first time since Tariq got very sick in November 2020, I actually have the desire to do things. I’m not working and writing just to keep sane. I’m reading again. I’m playing with Chester. I’m taking Jackson on walks. I’m going back to mass, not because I have to but because I want to. I still resent my brother-in-law, and I’m still waiting for an apology from my sister, but I’m not holding my breath. I’m still alone. I’m still uncertain of my worth. But I have my animals, including two new cats, and my home. I have plans. New plans. Better plans.

One year ago today, while cleaning Chester’s paddock, I made plans.

But today I’m alive. And I’m happy. All because I waited.

Don’t give up. Things WILL get better.

#suicide awareness #tw: suicide #depression #anxiety #worthlessnesses #family issues #loneliness #hope #fanfiction #moon knight

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pidge-it-up · 10 months

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(Izuku and Katsuki have a rule: they can't leave the house mad at each other)

Izuku turned sides that night a hundred times, and he just now felt that Katsuki’s breathing had started to even out, so he tried his best to not move for the one hundred and first time.

But he had repainted the facade of the house today, and the cool welcoming September breeze may have hitten his bones too hard. His shoulder burned, but maybe if he took a deep breath it’d go away. His leg felt twice as big and disconnected from his body, but still, if it was disconnected, how can it hurt like this? Just a deep breath. His hand was kind of numb now, maybe if he tried to open and close it real slow… And that’s it.

One small move brings his whole body to move along and his conscious is nothing but white noise as his body moves as it pleases to try to make itself more comfortable.

“Fuck, ‘Zuku, I was almost falling asleep this time.” Katsuki grumbles on the pillow.

“Sorry.”

He lasted a minute before he had to move again.

“Goddman it, Izuku!”

“I can’t sleep, it’s not my fault!”

Katsuki doesn’t bother turning to him “Well, it sure didn’t fucking help that you snored your ass until 2pm.”

“I was tired!”

“And I’m tired now.”

“I-” Izuku could explain what Katsuki already knew, but why do it? “You know what, fuck this,” why explain for the thousandth time that the fact he couldn’t sleep had nothing to do with how late he woke. It never did. He was exhausted and he wanted nothing more than to sleep for days. But he just couldn’t. “You don’t see me complaining about how you take the whole space in the bed and I need to have an extra blanket, but god forbid I have trouble standing still one night.” He threw the covers to the side and got out of bed as fast as his rusting body allowed.

“Where are you going?” Katsuk raised his head, eyes squinting to try to make sense of the silhouette moving in the dark, voice close to a dog’s whine when his owner is about to leave the house.

“To the couch,” Izuku dragged himself to the living room without looking back.

He nested on the couch as best as he could. Pillows supporting his sides, a heating blanket on his back, and his comfort covering his legs. He made an effort to focus on the TV images, playing an old action movie with bad CGI. His eyes burned from the light, but closing them made him too aware of the hurt.

Then, his phone pinged. Someone from a nearby agency needed backup for a drug dealing operation gone wrong. Izuku sighed. At least it was something to do.

He texted saying he was on his way.

He changed quickly in the spare room, but before going out he sneaked his head past the doorframe of their bedroom.

“Hey, Kacchan?” He called. Katsuki was a heavy sleeper, but he was trained to listen to Izuku’s voice like a loyal dog. He raised his head in a hum. “Just letting you know I’m going in. See you in the morning.”

It must have taken him a few second to fully process what Izuku said, because he was already five steps out the door when it burst open again and he was pulled back by a shoeless and shirtless Katsuki. “Hey, hey, hey, wait! Where are you going? You’re not on call!”

“Calli needs help.” Izuku stated simply. She was the new chief of police, but they got along well.

“Still, you- you know the rules. You can’t leave! I-”

Izuku smiled fondly. “I’m not mad,” the words were true.

“Still, I’m sorry.” This was also true.

“It’s okay.” Izuku caressed Katsuki’s cheek, taking a step closer.

“You want me to come with you?”

“No, love. Go back to bed, I’ll be fine. And it’s not like I can sleep anyway.”

“Sure?”

“Sure.”

“Okay. Kick their asses,” Katsuki grinned.

“I will. Love you,” Izuku smiled, kissing the right tip of Katsuki’s lip.

“Love you too.”

Izuku left, and Katsuki went back inside.

-----

This is a part of chapter 9 of In Our Grey Matter, All Grey Matters which will be out soon! Make sure to subscribe to the story to not miss it!

SUMMARY: Deku dies in a car accident but Bakugou refuses to accept that. There's just no way in hell!! So he finds a way to bring him back, but things don't go as expected.

#wip wednesday #bakugou katsuki #izuku midoriya #bakudeku #married bakudeku #angst #grey matter by pidge #fic by pidge #ao3 fanfic

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pineapplerightsideupcake · 10 months

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u do realize that the world isnt just americans and europeans right...not every anti american post is coming from a european lol

This website is over 85% North American/Australian/Western European

The chances I’m talking to someone outside that demographic is slim in the first place but I find that people from countries with actual grievances talk about their specific issues with America. You are invited to notice how I don’t police people bringing up American imperialism or our war crimes.

I think the American government and military are evil. I’m never looking to defend them.

But it toasts my ass cheeks that Europeans, grumpy that their empires are waning, write endless self pitying posts about how “America isn’t the whole world!” But they want our music and fashion and movies and TV and tech. Then they complain about how the ubiquity of American culture is oppressing them somehow. A Native Hawaiian can complain American culture was forced on them. I’d never dream of calling that out. I’d reblog them. We came with guns and worse and have done everything possible to erase their culture. But I’m sorry Pierre and Gustav, no American came and tied you to a chair Clockwork Orange style and made you watch “Iron Man VII”. If you hate that American culture is ubiquitous, feel free to go see a local film and skip Barbie! Vote to invest in entertainment. Koreans are killing it with producing TV and music the whole world wants to enjoy. Japan has had global anime fans for decades. I’m rooting for Indian and Thai movies to gain more popularity. Like stop bitching and make your own media and prioritize it.

And God forbid Americans on an American website use Fahrenheit instead of Celsius. Or don’t tag a legal tip with #sorryforbeingamerican

It’s the height of hypocrisy that Europeans frequently accuse Americans of always centering themselves while un-ironically demanding that 50% + of tumblr’s userbase cater to the preferences of its Euro users and not you know, their own.

And this isn’t even getting into Europeans using America’s problems and issues to deflect their own history of brutal imperialism. Let’s talk about their appalling treatment of Romani people. Let’s talk about “cultural purity” being a dog whistle for white supremacy and ugly Nationalism. Let’s talk about rampant anti semitism.

When Europeans rant about “hey American you’re not ackshully Italian/Irish/French/German because your great great grandfather came from there.” despite Americans explaining we know we aren’t literally from another country you can feel them dying to call you a mongrel race american that has no blood right to their country. Because if they didn’t care about cultural and racial purity they’d listen when Americans explain what our mixed heritages mean to us and how we express it as individuals, communities, and as national points of pride. They’d be excited that so many Americans do try and learn the language and do want to visit and do want to learn the culture.

Oh and by the way, let me know how Western Europe feels about the US military if Putin ever sets his sights further west than old soviet countries. Because I’d bet money suddenly they don’t have a problem with the American military-industrial complex. Most Europeans aren’t anti imperialist- they’re anti AMERICAN imperialism. They like us just fine when we enable their subjugation of their own empires. They love our money and our protection.

Anyway Tl;dr I’m aware not everyone criticizing the US is European, but the butthurt hypocritical posts they make are they only ones I’m talking about.

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not-me-simping-for-blasty · 3 years

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some soft!bakugou brainrot for the soul:

-he likes when you greet him in the morning. will absolutely roll his eyes and say sum “jesus, idiot, it’s too fuckin’ early for pathetic enthusiam like that” but will also simultaneously get pouty if u dont say hi to him first

-very much a quiet boy when it’s late at night. will just sit back with his eyes half-lidded and head in his hands, giving a little “mhm” to everything you say. you think he’s not listening but when you don’t finish a thought he will, without missing a beat go “the hell? really? gonna talk that much and then not even finish the story?”

-will cook meals that you like but will insist that he likes them too. bakugou is 100% trying to convince you that he made it for himself but the entire extra portion with your favorite toppings implies the opposite

-pays attention to what you’re doing in training, and will not outright tell you if you’re doing well,, but when ur alone he’ll just sorta “you looked less pathetic than last time, dumbass” with a slight smirk as he brushes past you

-likes to bicker,, i mean come on, obviously, but what i mean is that he just looks so weirdly happy when u yell at him (def goes heart eyes but literally do not say a word about it pls)

-goes very soft for hand massages,,, just like, ground ur thumb into the heel of his hand and rub at his knuckles. man’s will melt into wherever he’s sitting and close his eyes

-will absolutely bite your head off if you’re reckless, but then spend the rest of his time trying to think of ways to avoid u ever being in that much danger again

-remembers places you’ve been together very clearly. so like, if y’all wanna revisit some restaurant, bakugou is leading the way and ur just like “??? that was 6 months ago how do u know where you’re going” ,, n he just scoffs and “because i’m the best. now shut up and pay attention we’re about to cross the street”

-is very soft about u wearing his clothes but only when no one else is around to see it. idk contrary to popular belief i actually see him being very flustered by the sight of u in his clothes. so he won’t let u wear anything around others rlly, but when it’s just him??? poor bby is so soft for it. like, v much hiding his red face in your neck and just breathing u in type of soft

-has a specific blanket that he keeps for when u hang out. eventually it starts to smell like you, bc obviously, n he’ll cuddle up with it when you can’t be with him

-adores when you sing to him. 100% doesn’t matter if you’re good or not,, bakugou just likes that you don’t do it in front of anyone else

-likes when you get needlessly angry with him. idk how to explain it,, but just like, if he’s bitching at one of his friends and you back him up, purely bc u like the chaos, bakugou will be totally 🥰 over it. only after he’s done yelling tho

-mans has a thing for praise. he does. we been knew. but he rlly has an even bigger thing for mundane praise, like rlly small things like, “wow your handwriting is so neat” or “omg your room is so clean! you’re so organized!”,,, jus tiny stuff in passing that let’s him kno he’s doing good

-will absolutely not admit it but he 100% prays for lint on his uniform so you’ll brush it off for him. it’s like, a tiny little touch, just enough to sate him, but not so much that it feels like embarrassing pda

-is a sucker for someone he can just sit in silence with. like idk, if y’all noticed it, but he literally has like, nothing to say when he’s not bitching, so if he’s not angry he’ll just be quiet. if u can be quiet with him, in the same space but not talking, bakugou is a very happy boy about it

-he likes to know things about you no one else does,, so if u tell him anything in confidence, literally anything, he’ll keep it secret. 100% every time, no exceptions, will never spill a single detail even if someone is begging him to

-probably demands that u say u love him multiple times before y’all go to sleep. its the only affection he outright asks for so u give in every time

-shares whatever he has with u. just wordlessly will hand u a piece of whatever he’s eating. doesn’t warn u if it’s spicy tho,, bc he’s still a little shit

-sort of just follows you wherever you’re going. like, if u tell him u want to be alone he’ll leave, but otherwise he just kinda assumes he’s meant to follow. most times he’s right

-he is 100% the type to know something is wrong without u having to say it. he prob knows exactly what it is too. lmao like, sure, he’s still totally clueless on how to approach/support you but bakugou is the furthest thing from dumb. he knows,, he just does.

-gets super protective about your things. like, god forbid somebody try to write anything in ur notebook while you’re not paying attention,, bakugou’ll threaten them before their pen even touches the paper

-he likes to tend to your injuries. like, even the rlly minor ones. like, let’s say u get a papercut??? pls mans is grabbing your finger, running it under water, and wrapping a bandaid around it before u even register it. he’ll grumble the whole time like “jesus, dumbass, can’t believe i have to do this.” but rlly he enjoys doing it bc it makes him feel important. like maybe he’s someone heroic to u

-if no one else is around, and there’s a lot of trust established, he’ll prob do whatever u tell him to. now ofc there’s gonna be a lot of complaining, bc it’s bakugou, but he’ll do it

-is a big fan of when you tell him he’s your favorite. pls the man is so see-through ahaha,, u could be like “omg! bakugou! you took out the trash without me asking?? that’s why you’re my favorite!” n all he walks away hearing is “they think im the best. i fucking am the best.”

-he likes to watch you do mundane things. like rlly little, every-day things like brushing your hair or tying your shoes. idk he just thinks your methodical movements are weirdly calming

-is a sucker for forehead kisses. like obvi, only when y’all are alone, but like, press a kiss to his hairline?? suddenly it’s rip angry bakugou, soft bakugou hrs only

-doesn’t rlly initiate touch that much,, but when he does mans is extremely petulant about it. like, if u decide u have something more pressing than him, bakugou is almost immeadiately going “that’s fucking stupid. what you’re doing. you should stop.” n then he’s just poking and prodding and needling at u until u fall into his arms

-shadows you at social gatherings. very guard-dog like from an outsider perspective, but rlly it’s just bc when katsuki says he doesn’t like anyone else, he means it. he’s sticking by you bc you truly are the only one he tolerates

-he secretly rlly likes when u fuss over him. like, when u ask him if he’s sore from training or if he has any injuries. bakugou will brush u off like the absolute bitch that he is, but secretly he’ll be so warm about it. he just likes that u care enough to ask

-he tries very hard to be gentle for u. ofc it pretty much never works bc it’s him, but he’ll still forever be reading romance manga n going “yeah, i bet they’d like that. gonna it do it way better though. im the fucking best, i can do it.”

ahahaaha me?? a bunch of bakugou thoughts?? never, idk what ur on about

#bnha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugou #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha fic #mha bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugou headcanons

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look-at-the-soul · 2 years

Text

The Photoshoot (Part 20)

Cillian Murphy x OC

Previous parts here

Photos credits: flowers from The flower spell (a local flower shop in my hometown) // Model: Linda Hallberg (makeup artist)

They were having their usual dinner date over Skype, rehearsal done for the day and now he could focus on his favorite part; talking to Yael, they could keep the conversation going for hours until she noticed his eyelids started to give in and that’s when she ended the call, if it was for him, he would keep it going, loved to hear her laugh and see all of her facial expressions. Today, apparently wasn’t a good day at work though.

“…And he arrived two hours late to the shooting, then wanted us all to hurry up, we had to do it in record time.” She was explaining over a singer she worked with for a new record album cover.

“You should’ve cancelled it.”

“Couldn’t do that, it was the second time he postponed the session.”

“I’m sure you took incredible photos anyways.” There was a little smile forming in her lips.

“I liked them, but the pressure was too much.” He watched her scratching her arm, leaving a red mark. “Won’t do it again… that’s why I don’t work with celebrities.”

Cillian coughed. “Good thing I’m not one then.”

“You are a charm to work with... I prefer normal people, they know how to take directions.”

“Are you coming this weekend?” He asked hopeful.

“No… oh my God I forgot to tell you.” She lifted her hands to her forehead in a worried expression. “They changed the departure time flight for later and there’s no point if I will be arriving after midday and coming back the next day early.”

“Ohh…” he had been hoping to see her again.

“I changed it to the next week, Tuesday and Wednesday, is that alright?” Again, she started to scratch her right arm, a sad expression on her eyes.

“Don’t worry love, anytime that works for you.” He wished she could spend more time with him though.

“I have something for Scout! Wait a sec.” She left the laptop on the couch to move around, then she showed him on the camera a stuffed duck she was holding against her chest, it covered her whole face.

“What the hell is that?”

“A little duck, see?”

Cillian chuckled. “I’m glad that’s little, to think what would be big…”

“Well, someone is getting bigger, he needs bigger toys.”

“You already got him more fucking toys that any child I know.” And they were all around the floor.

Yael pouted behind the duck. “But you have a room for your music instruments…”

“So you want a room for his toys?” Scout tilted the head. She made the duck nod at him. “If you agree to come here, maybe I will accept the duck… maybe.” He said in a playful voice tone, half joking, half serious.

Yael heard him ask Scout if he wanted ‘mama’ to visit them, showing his dimples as he smiled at his dog.

That had been a topic they have discussed in almost every call they had. Yael moving in with him was the easiest thing for now while he was focused on the play, he had moved back to Ireland the previous year except for the months he was filming Peaky Blinders hoping he could settle down over there, London had been great but he couldn’t picture himself living there the rest of his life. That left only one option available; for her to move in with him in Ireland.

It would be something big for them, a huge step in their relationship, but after the Erin thing, anything else felt like tickles for them.

She was willing to do it. But it also meant that she had to start over again her photography career.

***

Cillian smiled at the photo Yael sent him holding the flowers she got from him. A beautiful bouquet full of color, eye catching flowers in hot pink and yellow tones along with a card letting her know how much he loved and missed her, she had been holding everything on with the distance and the baby and she truly meant the world for him.

But of course, she had to make the photograph look professional, God forbid her if she took a bad or blurry photo.

Typing back, he answered her email: I’m happy to know you liked the flowers. Love you so fucking much! Cillxo

“Uncle Pad! Uncle Pad! Connor is drooling on my doll.” Sinead complained, Cillian saw his brother roll his eyes before forcing a smile to the six-year-old. Sinead was Paidi’s niece from his wife’s side of the family, Paidi and his wife Elise were babysitting while the girl’s parents went to a wedding, but apparently drooling wasn’t part of the game.

“Well Sinead, Connor is just a baby he can’t play with you yet.” He took the girl in his arms and gently placed her on the kitchens counter and with a patience he didn’t know his younger brother had, he took the doll and a napkin to clean the mess.

Cillian watched the whole interaction, suddenly forgetting about what they had been talking about. He started wondering if this would be his future, the image of little creatures running around the house complaining about something the other one did, while he tried to fix it. The beer in front of him getting warmer as he had his eyes fixed on his nephew, Connor who recently turned two years old was happily giggling in his bouncing chair. His heart made something weird inside his chest at the imaginary moment of his own child like that.

“I’m home!” His sister in law, Elise announced from the door, Pad was on her the second he heard she was in, both entering the kitchen with their arms full of bags.

“I couldn’t find any good green apples, only red.” Elise told her husband.

“I don’t like red apples! I want green!” Sinead’s happy expression turned into a pout and then the tears and loud cries appeared, copying his cousin and without a real reason, Connor started crying too, suddenly turning it into a competition between the kids.

Cillian looked at the family dynamic in awe, not fully understanding how everything happened so fast; his brother was holding Connor, gently rocking him while Elise tried to reassure Sinead she would go out to find green apples for her, wiping her eyes.

He wasn’t ready for that yet.

“Shit happens.” His brother mouthed at him, dealing with a loud round of cries over the fucking color of an apple.

****

Waiting for him at the airport, she couldn’t help the tingle in her body, she was so excited to see him again, and there it was the green mini pulling in front of her, his smile inviting. Her excitement growing as she finally was able to kiss him once inside of the car.

“How was your flight?” He asked as they drove, leaving the terminal behind.

Yael smiled. “It was nice, closed my eyes for a while and we were landing already.”

“There’s something for you in the door compartment.” Yael frowned at him, but as she found an envelope, she opened it.

She couldn’t believe what was in front of her. “Is this real?” Her face in shock.

Cillian chuckled, pleased with her reaction. “Would you honor me with your presence at the Galway International Arts Festival?” They would do a few dates at the festival before the official ones.

It was impossible to hide her happiness, Yael wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek, jaw and the corner of his mouth as he tried to drive straight.

“Somebody is happy.”

“You just made somebody very happy.”

Cillian raised his eyebrows. “It’s just a ticket babe.”

“Can you try let me be happy over this?” He nodded. “Kayla sent you the blue jacket from the Cara magazine shooting we did. She asked the brand if they would give it to you.”

“Really? That’s nice, I liked that one.”

“Hmm… We worked together again, she’s a good girl.”

“You had the photos you needed?”

“It was better than I imagined, I asked the model to claim on the ladder and she didn’t hesitate! We got the perfect shot against the window and the light was coming through beautifully, look.” She showed him the photo on her cellphone as he stopped at a red light.

“Wow, this is incredible.” She showed him another one.

“Thank you.” She blushed.

The screen on his cellphone lighted, showing a name she didn’t know.

“Can you get that for me please?” She answered the call on the third tone, activating the speaker.

“Mr. Murphy, It’s Dave, your realtor, just to let you know I placed your offer on the house, now we just wait for the owner’s response.”

“Thank you Dave, we expect to hear back from him in two, maybe three days, right?”

“That’s correct, but you don’t have to worry, I’m sure your offer is the highest.”

“Good, thanks again.”

“My pleasure, Mr. Murphy I will be in touch.”

Yael looked at Cillian as he parked in his driveway. “I found a beautiful house a few blocks away from the apartment were Erin’s living, that way I can drive the baby back and forth.” He explained taking her bag.

“A few blocks?” He couldn’t be serious.

“Just three blocks apart.” His words slowly sinking in. She felt like she was punched in the stomach.

She could barely understand how this was a good idea… and he had been asking her to move in already? She didn’t want to have Erin knocking on their door asking if they had sugar o nappies. One thing was his children, another, completely different was dealing with his ex.

“Did you heard me?” Scout had been jumping on her still frozen by the door.

“No.”

“Do you want sushi?”

“Doesn’t matter, I’m not hungry.”

When he tried to approach her, Yael moved behind the couch, trying to get some space between them, looking for something in her bag.

“I can order fish and chips.”

She avoided looking at him. “You know what? I think I will skip lunch, had trouble sleeping yesterday, I don’t feel like eating, gonna have a lie down.”

He seemed genuine and serious about the house. Of course it was his house, his money and his decision, but she wasn’t expecting she would run into Erin every time she walked out of the door.

Or was she exaggerating everything? Yes, it made sense in order to be close to the baby, but there was a thin line and having Erin as her neighbor wasn’t something that thrilled her. Cillian made it seem he already decided about it with an offer on the house and everything, so she really didn’t have much choice there.

Why did it have to be so hard? She had been doing her best effort to support him and help with everything she could, but she wasn’t ready to go Demi Moore and Bruce Willis style going on vacation with the exes and former partners like a big modern family. Overthinking making her worry, and the baby wasn’t born yet.

She heard Scout scratching the door, opening it for him, he went inside the room with her, jumping on the bed to cuddle next to her legs. Her mind running miles away with every single possible bullet of the reasons why this was the worst idea. They weren’t together anymore, why would they live close? They would need boundaries, from both sides, not just Cillian’s.

“Feeling better?” Cillian offered her a glass of water. She nodded a little. “My brother called, you want to go for dinner over there? They are doing hamburgers.”

“I’m really tired, been running from one shooting to another these past days, but go ahead.”

She was lying, she wasn’t tired, his decision took her by surprise, she wasn’t prepared to hear something like that, and right now socializing while pretending everything was fine, when it wasn’t would only make everything worse.

“No, I will stay her-”

“Go to your brother’s I will be sleeping in two minutes. The hamburger sounds better than the sushi you offered me.”

“Fine, but if you need anything you call.” Yael nodded and closed her eyes as his lips kissed her hair.

How could she bring up the issue and say ‘I’m not comfortable with living close to your ex’? When she said she would never be the reason of a separation between Cillian and his child.

“Are you fucking nuts?” His brother snapped at him as he heard the house story.

“What do you mean? That way I can see the baby on a regular basis.”

“Yeah? And about Yael? “

The smile he had while telling his brother his plans faded away.

“What about her?”

“They are going to run into each other, at the supermarket, the nail salon, the park, oh why don’t you just take Erin into your guest room? That way she can be closer, even better, move Yael to the guest room and ask her to give up her side on the bed for Erin. You are really lucky Yael didn’t dump you already.” Pad shook his head. “Fucking eejit. She must really love you.”

Cillian looked down, thinking on his brother’s words.

“You need to understand they are not friends, never will, maybe years from now they will be kind towards the other for that kid.” Cillian listened in silence. “One woman is going to be the mother of your child for the rest of your lives, while the other is the one you apparently love so much, and I say apparently because you’re pushing her to the edge. How would you feel if this was the other way around? If she was the one pregnant with her ex? And this ex buys a fucking house in front of yours… ‘to be close to the baby’” Pad marked the quoting fingers.

“I’m an idiot.” He was just trying to solve the distance issue while digging his own grave.

“You are. Maybe she just ran to the airport already.”

“Shut up!” Cillian got up and grabbed his keys, not even saying goodbye.

Trying to call her on his way back home, she wasn’t answering. Shit.

Rushing into his apartment, he found Scout lying down on the arm of the couch, Yael had her legs up to her chest while Mamma Mìa! Was playing on the telly. Neither of them looked at him as he entered the room, apparently Pierce Brosnan had all their attention.

Cillian took a seat in front of her and grabbed the remote from her hand, turning it off.

“I was watching that.” A painful expression crossed her eyes when she looked at him.

“And I’m watching the most fantastic, caring, charismatic and fucking gorgeous woman in front of me.” She didn’t show an ounce of amusement at his words. “I know you are mad at me right now, but-”

Yael distracted herself petting Scout’s neck. “I’m not mad… I’m just trying to cope with certain things.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t see how this would affect you, I swear it wasn’t my intention.” She still wasn’t showing any sign of letting her guard down. “The first thing I will do tomorrow is cancel the offer for the house, we can start the search over, will you help me find a place? For us.”

“But you wanted that house, to be close to your child, and you are right about that.” She understood that part, but still it was hard to assimilate.

“I know she will get the main custody anyways, there’s no point on going through that.” He took her hands in his, his thumb caressing her skin.

“Why would you change your mind when you already made an offer?”

“Because sometimes we need someone to shake our shoulders to get our minds back, and instead of making this harder than it already is for you, I want to make it better.”

When she didn’t answer, he looked into her eyes and asked: “Are you having second thoughts?”

“No, God no…” she reassured him caressing his face. “It’s not that, it’s the mind creating all kind of scenarios, worrying about things that aren’t happening yet. And all I can think of is if I’m having a hard time… you must be under so much pressure.” She was back to her normal self now, understanding the feelings the other person is going through.

Cillian found himself nodding.

Cupping his face between her hands, Yael kissed him softly on the lips. Cillian leaned against the arm of the couch, bringing her close to his body, her legs between his. Making the promise to raise their hands on the things they weren’t comfortable with, or when something felt like too much.

They needed to support each other, trying to sort things out together, leaning on the other one. Now, more than ever.

——

What do you think? She overreacted? Would you like to see more of ‘Yael’s work’?

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nightingaelic · 3 years

Note

Companions (DLC included) respond to the Courier getting drunk at their wedding.

Arcade Gannon: "What is wrong with you? You couldn't pick any other day to act like a brahmin who got into the broc patch?"

Super apologetic toward his new husband, he should've known the courier was going to make a scene, honestly, it's about the only thing they're good at, and gets so flustered he starts blushing and his newly-minted spouse has to reassure him that the courier isn't even the most inebriated person there. That award goes to Cass, who is pickling herself in a mixture of wedding joy and despair that the nerdy gay scientist of the friend group found love before she did. Arcade stops the courier from being a bad influence and forbids the bartender from pouring the pair of them any more shots. Will not hold the courier's hair if they throw up, but will slip them some Rebound for the inevitable hangover.

Craig Boone: "Take it easy. Here, I'll finish that one for you."

Ignores the courier's antics completely until they make their way up to congratulate him and his new partner personally, at which point his usual stony façade will crack a bit. He's well-acquainted with the courier's drunk personality by now, but hasn't let himself loosen up out of a strong sense of duty. Now, on this happy day, he's willing to relax an inch and share some extra drinks with them and the rest of the Lucky 38 crew. This is the one time the courier will be able to steal his beret and be able to hang onto it until after the festivities.

Lily Bowen: "Go sit in the corner until you can behave yourself, dearie!"

Embarrassed by her surrogate grandchild's actions, Lily would attempt to scold the courier back into sobriety. Eventually she would realize her efforts are fruitless and take a few minutes to sulk, before the whirlwind happiness of the day and the flounce of her dress win out and she lets her spouse, the courier and her Lucky 38 and Jacobstown friends lead her out to the middle of the dance floor. After that, well, there aren't many spectacles that can top seeing a bunch of super mutants dancing.

Raul Alfonso Tejada: "Hey, hey, slow down boss! Tenemos muchos años más to act like fools together, eh?"

As soon as the courier jumps up on a table to give an impromptu toast, Raul will unleash his best grito and toast them back with the nearest bottle of tequila. Once deep enough into the alcohol himself, Raul would get a little weepy and start thanking them profusely for their role in his recent years of life, leaning on them as much as they're leaning on him. Largely forgiving of messes caused by clumsiness or turned stomachs, unless any of them threaten to ruin his suit or his partner's outfit.

Rose of Sharon Cassidy: "Well if this ain't an excuse to get wasted in the wastes, I don't know what is."

Cass lives up to her nickname "Whiskey Rose" and is probably just as deep into her cups as the courier. Through the laughter, stumbles, bumps and curse words, however, Cass is careful not to go past her point of no return, and cuts the courier off before they also slip over the edge. She's spent much of her later life trying to get blackout drunk, but today is not a day she wants either of them to forget. As such, she has a low tolerance for anyone who messes up something important in her eyes, and will toss them out on their ass. God help anyone who rips her dress.

Veronica Santangelo: "That's the first time I've seen anyone mix Jake Juice and ant nectar together. This should be interesting."

Rather than confront a drunken courier about their bad behavior, Veronica settles for blushing deeper and deeper shades of pink, until her new wife tells her to go outside and get some air. Like Cass, she is very protective of her dress, but mostly because she loves wearing it in general and wants to feel like a princess for as long as she can. Will definitely get lost in the bathroom with Cass and the courier at some point, complimenting everyone who walks in. Will hold the courier's hair back if they throw up.

BONUS!

Dean Domino: "Don't leave me out if you have plans for some grand finale. Marriage might've caught me, but this snake can still rattle."

As long as the courier doesn't start singing, Dean regards their drunken stunts with a charming smile and a wink or two. If the courier tries to start some impromptu karaoke, however, Dean will start heckling them and get the rest of the guests to join in. This is less about being offended by their singing and more about putting himself back in the center of the spotlight. If the song is a duet, though, he'll probably join in on the second part with some pre-war choreography.

Christine Royce: [scowls]

The Brotherhood assassin is quite good at piercing glares, which is exactly what the courier will get if they don't put the centerpiece down and melt back into the crowd around the bar. Christine is also unafraid of a confrontation, and if the courier's behavior doesn't improve after their first warning, they'll be kicked to the outskirts of the reception, or kicked out altogether. Veronica will take pity on them if this happens and sneak them some food, but Christine doesn't let her guard down easily anymore and removal from the party is permanent.

Dog/God: "Hrrrrrrn..."

Watching the courier overindulge is too much for the nightkin, who is painfully reminded of his own split personality. Still too polite to ask the courier to tone it down or leave though, he instead disappears until the courier leaves or until someone else deals with them.

Follows-Chalk: "Let's share a cup or two, then get back to things, neh?"

Though he's personally fine with the courier's lack of decorum, Follows-Chalk meets the disapproving glances from the rest of the Dead Horses with sheepish grins and hustles them to the back of the celebration if they get too loud. He'll share a few drinks with them though, and the alcohol will warm him up significantly toward letting them back into the center of things. Ultimately, he and the courier will wind up swaying together over a bonfire, singing songs off-key and reminiscing about their time together in Zion.

Waking Cloud: "Muddy your water if you must, but do not forget to let it run clean beneath the morning."

The tall, stately bride is polite and tolerant of the courier's drunken outbursts, but chooses not to partake herself when offered drinks. The Sorrows view mind-altering substances as something for serious, sacred purposes, and weddings are focused on celebration rather than ritual. Still, Waking Cloud can't help but smile when the courier tries their hand at the intricate, unending dances on the banks of the Virgin River. They might look foolish, and watching members of the tribe might wince, but the smile on their face is pure ecstasy.

Joshua Graham: "There is a fire that burns within the righteous, but that fire cannot prosper if you insist on quenching it."

As a Mormon, Joshua Graham doesn't drink, and he's very judgmental of those who overindulge. Seeing as it's the courier, his disdain is tempered into something more akin to disappointment, but he'll still take every opportunity to pull them aside and try to explain their faux pas in between their hiccups. Most likely to have a dry wedding in the first place, but we all know the courier has a trusty Vault 13 canteen and is great at breaking the rules.

Ulysses: "The Twin Mothers knew how to cure a wound with bitters, one drink at a time... some wounds need more. More bitters, and more drinks. There's enough bitterness already in our history."

Ulysses also doesn't drink, but he knows better than to try to separate the courier from a good time. He'll simply avoid them until they simmer down, grabbing his partner and ducking out of conversations right before the courier crashes them. He's so successful in this that the courier might start loudly complaining about how they "didn't know we were back in the Divide," and enlist ED-E to bob around the party in pursuit.

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rinharu-purple · 3 years

Text

On Jealousy

I owe this analysis/answer to an anon ask which I've accidentally posted, though only with the introduction sentence and then couldn't retrieve.🙈

Dear anon, this analysis is dedicated to you.

I HOPE YOU SEE THIS!!! 🙏🏻💫🙏🏻

Thank you @sin-with-quiche for proofreading and @lunabai78 for the spiritual support 💕💕💕

---—-----—

We have quite a number of moments in our journey with Gavin... Some are funny, some are cute, some are...mmm over the edge

(。-ω-)ﾉ

If you ask me whether Gavin is a jealous man, I would give you two answers:

1) Pre and early relationship... Absolutely!

2) Established relationship... The fitting colloquial term is "territorial".

In order to look at Gavin's attitude towards other males and whether to categorize them as jealous behaviour or not, first we need to describe jealousy .

Jealousy generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety.

The word stems from the French jalousie, formed from jaloux (jealous), and further from Low Latin zelosus (full of zeal), in turn from the Greek word ζήλος (zēlos), sometimes "jealousy", but more often in a positive sense "emulation, ardour, zeal" (with a root connoting "to boil, ferment"; or "yeast").

As you can see, there are different set of emotions that might boil or ferment the reaction of jealousy in one's belly.

My personal take on this is that jealousy arises from two simple things 1) Lack of self-confidence 2) Lack of trust towards one's partner (in terms of romantic jealousy). You don't get jealous when you know you're one hell-of-a-mate and are with the right person. Which is why as we will see in a minute Gavin fits the bill at the beginning but afterwards his jealousy isn't actually jealousy at all!

So which sets of emotions lead to his jealous behaviour and in which conjuncture?

We know that Gavin is completely attuned to MC. This also applies for his reaction towards the presence of other guys around her. So the type of jealousy he displays is attuned to MCs type of reaction to the source of his jealousy. He observes MCs aura and attitude carefully and then reacts in an either desirous, protective, territorial or downright pouty manner.

If he sees the person is overstepping their boundaries like TNTs Tyson or the guys catcalling her during Romantic Date, he gets protective. If he sees someone from his inner cycle being only the slightest overfamiliar with MC as in his phone call with Eli, he gets territorial and draws boundaries. If he gets ditched by MC and walks on her having lunch with another guy all the while she's being touched by him and she's not showing any protest, he pouts in the corner and stabs MC with his words "Too much of anything can get boring after a while" (love this moment and how Joe delivers this line with a strong tonation on the word - boooring-)

If he sees the person is actually drawing MCs attention, well... This is where we can look more into. Because this is actually a stereotypical example of making one jealous. Seeing your love interest with another person in an over-friendly manner.

In Trio Date, he worries that MC might have a crush on Kiro and a close relationship with him. Which is understandably an alarming situation for him, because he isn't that close to her himself and Kiro is... well... Kiro. Pretty much everyone's into him 🌟. But Gavin doesn't show any aggression or envy towards Kiro. On the contrary, he praises him for his charm and even says that he can see what people mean by that as in confessing to being charmed by Kiro himself. I really praise how elegant Gavin acts in the face of this situation 👑 Needless to say, it's a Gavin date, meaning the canon couple in this scenario is Gavin x MC (On a side note pretty bold and disrespectful of PG to put another LI in the supporting male role in a date for another tbh) And also RIP Chandler, the poor guy didn't do anything wrong ^_^

At this point I need to let one thing out of my chest though. I can't say that I appreciate him telling MC when and where to wear revealing clothes <spoiler alert> only for him. Even though we don't actually see him seriously forbidding her to wear them I think it would be better to leave her be the judge of it. But considering the fact that she gets catcalled even at his presence I can kinda see why Gavin gets protective here. On a side note, his girlfriend isn't better on this matter either. MC covers Gavin's body at the beach during 2021 summer event in CN server so that other girls don't drool over him 🤣 These two have some homework to do in that department I tell you that 😅

In the more mature phases of their relationship, we no longer see Gavin feeling himself threatened by the presence of another male. AT ALL! All Gavin jealousy after this point is only because someone is overstepping their boundaries and making "his girl" uncomfortable.

Gavin might be the one acting jealous the most frequently among the LIs, but he never ever gets possessive over her, limits her freedom or makes unconfirmed self proclaims on behalf of her. Being possessive over someone objectifies them and the moment you objectify a person, you no longer need to be in a relationship with them tbh. Leaving your partner room to breathe and respecting their personal space is important and Gavin does this the best alongside with Kiro. We also never see Kiro getting possessive, limiting or doing anything of that nature with MC.

Further in their relationship Gavin still acts jealous, but in an extremely cute, pure and harmless way. Be it against prankster ghosts, animals she's met in the middle of the desert, a wild child, service dogs, birds and co. Basically anyone and anything that diverts her attention from him for more than a nanosecond can be perceived as a threat but an adult male 😂At his core, Gav-babe wants MC all for himself but his jealousy is actually only adorkable.

(´∀｀)♡

In the main story, however, there is a certain LI which becomes the magnet for Gavin's firsthand jealousy and even kinda provokes this. And this is actually what I am dying to write about in this post😈. It only happens at the beginning of the story, but I love it so much and therefore it must be in this post.

Gavin shows signs of jealousy towards one particular LI at various occasions and that is...

Gavin shows obvious signs of jealousy towards our genius scientist and that is completely understandable! Lucien is the one who makes his advances first and is the most straightforward one throughout the main story. Plus, he lives right next to MC and, let's be honest here, is the only one who toys with MC's poor hormones the most. Just to give one example:

Gavin and MC don't become quite a couple before CH12 and S1 Gavin has some issues with self-worth and confidence (towards MC). When he meets MC again after 6 years, he is perplexed and is fairly clueless as to how to approach her romantically. Lest Gavin making the wrong moves, he acts weirdly around MC which further confuses her. Gav-babe is really weird at the beginning of the story 😅

The first time we see Gavin getting jealous about Lucien is in CH2, when he and MC spend a prolonged period of time for the first time as they investigate the time warping incident. Our birdcop is hopelessly in love with MC so when he sees her become so red on the phone with another person, he gets worked up.

Fun trivia, Joe's reaction to this moment can be found here

The second instance is when MC spends two nights in a row with Lucien in CH5 and then falls asleep in her office.

It is crucial to remember at this point that up to CH5, MC seems to be most romantically involved with Lucien and spends most of her time with him. LuLu mercilessly teasing her and flirting with her doesn't help much in that sense either because he is actively making advances on her. Thus announcing his candidacy for "Mr. Love". So when Gavin catches MC spending nights following Lucien, having phone calls with him, living right next door to him, working closely with him and blushes because of him, it's fairly understandable that our birdcop gets fairly jealous because at that point in the story Lucien seems to have a better shot at love with her than he does.

Btw, MC flatlines on his question as to who is the resource of her flustering this time around and doesn't explain herself ;)

Interestingly though, in the third instance, where Gavin sees MC and Lucien, he isn't jealous at all! In the famous "Rude Awakening" moment, the vibes we get at first is as if Gavin walks in to MC and Lucien. But actually our protective boyfriend is there to save MCs life. What's more, he doesn't give credit to Lucien's provocations, such as when he calls Gavin "dangerous" or pulls MC behind him, stays extremely close to her and plays the "protective boyfriend" in front of him. On Gavin's defense, the one actually saves MCs life and protects her is Gavin here as he deflects the bullet shot at her.¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Furthermore, he asks Lucien to take MC home, albeit not before telling her that he will be contacting her later, signaling to Lucien that he shouldn't stick along for long. A highly subtle way of "marking his territory", much like a wolf would. God I love this scene both in the main story and in the anime.

It is necessary to mention at this point that the chapter following this scene revolves around Gavin and MC clearing all kinds of misunderstandings between them and MC trying to bind with him. Hence laying the first stones in the temple of their relationship. After that point we no longer see Gavin showing any kind of jealousy towards anyone. So mark CH7 people ;)

----—-----—-----—

You know what I would love to see? Gavin getting jealous over Shaw. I wonder whether he even knows that MC spends time with him 🤔 Too bad that PG has left the idea "brother conflict".

If you would like to read another perspective on this, Cheri has posted her analysis here

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bloodstainsontengensfloor · 3 years

Text

Tsumiki and Megumi childhood HeadCanons!

*some slight spoilers on what happened to Megumi’s dad

———————————————————————-

BEFORE the abandonment:

-Megumi didn’t like Tsumiki when they first met. She was so happy... why? Like him, she only had one parent and didn’t have the nicest things. She smiled despite not having the nicest clothes, not having the nicest toys, and with not having a dad.

-They walked to school together and Tsumiki would just talk his ear off

-Megumi didn’t really warm up to her until he tripped and scraped his knee and Tsumiki’s entire cheerful demeanor changed and she went to fretting over him

-It annoyed him but at the same time... made him feel happy

-He warmed up to her gradually after that. She always checked in how he was doing as his dad started to check in less and less

-Megumi was aware that his dad didn’t care for Tsumiki’s mom as much as someone you married should, and was surprised when he found out that Tsumiki shared the same sentiments

-Tsumiki and Megumi’s dad... she was a ray of sunshine to him of course and he... had literally no clue how to deal with it. He also didn’t like how a second grader was a better parent than him, but in the end... he knew Megumi would be in good hands

-(If he stayed around, Tsumiki and Toji would have a relationship like Hori and her dad for Horimiya I take no arguments)

AFTER the abandonment:

-Megumi’s dad left first. he didn’t really understand what was happening or why his dad stopped coming to say goodnight and then stopped coming home at all

-Tsumiki was emotional over it for the sake of Megumi and her mom, and started to do little things like get Megumi small gifts when they would walk from school- little stuffed animals (the first one was a dog ofc), chocolates, candies, etc.

-When Tsumiki’s mom left, leaving only a little money behind, Megumi expected Tsumiki to cry or shut herself in, but she didn’t. She took on the role of taking care of him and barley took care of herself.

-He didn’t know why his non emotionally constipated sister wasn’t crying and was smiling. Why was she not showing her hurt? Her dad left her and her mom, and now her mom left her too.

-”Don’t worry about it! She’ll be back soon!” Tsumiki had said when making breakfast for them.

-Oh, Megumi thought, she was in denial.

-When the denial ended, Tsumiki didn’t show any evidence of going through the other stages of grief. When he asked her about it one day, Tsumiki sighed, and looked really tired. “I saw it coming. I don’t remember my dad much, but I remember how he was in the days leading up to when he left.’

-”Stupid Sister,” Megumi said as Tsumiki tried to do the dishes. “Go to sleep. You suck at cleaning anyway.”

-A year of them living alone was fine. Neither of them asked for anything too much and Tsumiki tried to hide the fact that the money was running low as a year was about to pass

-Megumi was having trouble sleeping one night and he and Tsumiki were playing hand shadows. and then. DOGS. Tsumiki screamed but then started coddling them whereas Megumi was just like shocked.

-Megumi was confused at Tsumiki’s naivety but eventually the dogs melted into the shadows again

-Enter creepy dude with white hair.

-Tsumiki saw him talking to Megumi, got a broom, and attempted to whack this giraffe on the head

-But infinity kicked in, and Gojo was invited inside to explain everything.

-Literally everything. Tsumiki asked a lot of questions and was taking notes. If this was something Megumi would be involved in, she had to know as much as she could. They would have been more skeptical had Megumi not discovered his technique.

-Gojo stayed the night by accident, and woke up to Megumi and Tsumiki using the stove, cooking food etc and he wasn’t surprised that they could do this, but rather annoyed that a second grader and first grader could do this and he couldn’t.

-When Gojo ‘officially’ became their guardian, he teleported into the house with party poppers and the certificate yelling “IM YOUR GUARDIAN!”

-Tsumiki just was in shock for a moment before politely smiling. She was more of an adult than this teenager at this point.

-Megumi just deadpanned and went “Why”.

-They had a nice little dinner after that, and because Gojo would always spoil them, they both got luxuries they never had before.

-They got like phones and ipads or ipods or whatever was the most popular product at the time. Tsumiki was so grateful and embarrassed whereas Megumi was annoyed but accepting.

-Tsumiki and Megumi would eat dinner together, and with Gojo whenever he came

-Tsumiki kept on trying to get Megumi to open up a lot more, and he always gets annoyed over it and will rarely ever talk about how he’s feeling

-Except that one night when Megumi had a nightmare that he was alone. Alone in the shadows, unable to summon anything to help him or comfort him, and just wandering down a dark, dark road. At one point, he entered a hall of mirrors, and he saw Tsumiki in one. He was so scared at that point that he kept on trying to get to her but she changed mirrors every time. Megumi shattered every mirror with his fists, cutting them open. In the end, all that was left was a lily flower.

-Megumi, aged 10, woke up crying silent tears and ran into Tsumiki’s room. Tsumiki woke up, concerned but aware that her prying would get her nowhere. She sat up and Megumi hugged her so tight. He ended up sleeping in her room for the next week after that.

-”Megumi..’

-” I’m gonna protect you-”

-”i.... okay.’

-Tsumiki never curses... unless talking about her father, her mother, and Megumi’s dad

-They are both aware Gojo killed him, he almost let it slip when first meeting Megumi and he relayed the info to Tsumiki.

-One time, Gojo asked about Tsumiki’s parents. Megumi was asleep at that point and Gojo was terrified.

-seeing the nice, angel, sunshine 12 year old he knew for years curse worse than Utahime whenever Gojo was remotely near her??

-Please, Tsumiki’s abandonment issues are off the chart. That’s why sometimes she gets too involved in Megumi’s life because she cannot lose him. No matter what. He’s her little brother who’ll scold her if she works too much or tries to take care of too many people.

-Now... for some reason, I Headcanon Tsumiki has lesbian, or having at least some kind of wlw vibes. Idk why...

-Tsumiki told Megumi first ofc, and he didn’t understand why it was a big deal.

-”Ok and?”

-”y-you don’t think it’s weird?”

-”You can like who you like, it isn’t hurting anyone. If you wanna date a girl, date a girl.”

-Tsumiki was grateful to have a brother like Megumi

-Now as for Megumi’s possible coming out for whatever his sexuality (personally i headcanon him as pan, but this will be opened ended for whatever you headcanon)

-Tsumiki just got so happy for him. Began researching everything about it.

-”AWWW MEGS!!”

-hugs. lots of hugs. Always.

-As they got older, they started to but heads more. but despite whatever petty arguments or fights they had, at the end of the day, they loved each other and would do anything for each other.

-and sadly... I gotta add some part of

AFTER THE CURSE:

-Megumi came in yelling and screaming. The denial?? He was convinced this was some prank to get him to stop fighting kids.

-It broke Gojo’s heart. It was the most emotion he ever saw from Megumi and that kind of hysterical accusation of it being a prank soon dissolved into full on sobbing. Gojo hugged the boy as tight as Tsumiki would

-”Never again... I’m... I’m going to get stronger. Then no curse will hurt her again... that’ll work right?”

-Gojo patted the boy head. “Yea... it will. But it won’t be easy.”

-Megumi’s emotions settled and he quickly wiped his tears away. His emotionless expression returned but it was different... There was more fire, more resolve, as he said “i know.”

-Every Friday he visits Tsumiki. He tells her everything that happened in the week.

-”And then he ate it. Tsumiki he may be more naive then you. He ate the finger.”

-When talking to Tsumiki, he reveals his ability to tell stories. Like it’s amazing. He can distinctively set up a scene and gets a little more emotion in his voice.

-God Forbid if Kugisaki or Itadori ever saw him when he told Tsumiki stories

—————————————————————

WOO! This has been in my drafts for a while, so here! I hope you enjoyed!

Thanks for reading!

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #fushiguro megumi #fushiguro tsumiki #megumi headcanons #satoru gojo #gojo satoru #jjk headcanons #jjk anime #anime #siblings #toji fushiguro

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perksofbeingradioactive · 3 years

Text

Dick and Wally loved rom-coms. It was a public secret at the Mountain. At first if someone caught them watching, they would find an explaination as to why it was on or blame M'gann, but after a while (and too many "accidental" scenes of "Love,actually") they ran out of excuses and just gave in. Wally's all time favourite was "Four weddings and a funeral", while with Dick, it was a tie between "One day" and "When Harry met Sally" (because, friends to lovers). The first time they watched "Four weddings and a funeral" when the scene with the funeral passed,Wally turned to Dick:

"I want somebody to recite that at my funeral"he stated,mouth full of popcorn.

"Dude,why are you thinking about that??"Dick responded, still a bit shook from the emotional scene that just passed.

"Well, it could happen any day in our line of work, so I'm telling you, as my best friend, my requests"

"Pfft, any musical wishes?"Dick asked sarcastically, "Also,who do you think would read the poem anyway? I don't recall you having a husband last time I checked. And if you do, well, that funeral will be much sooner than expected, given that you didn't invite me to the wedding."

"Hmm" Wally furowed his brows, deep in thought, "I haven't figured out that one yet, but when it happens I bet it'll be my smoking hot, smart-ass girlfriend with whom I'll have at least two dogs".

Dick scoffed "Okay,sure Kid Mouth, lets lighten up a bit, we still have two weddings left"...

Every single time they watched the movie, the same conversation would come up and it would never get past the"Who will read the poem" part.

...

The night before Kid Flash officially retired, he and Dick watched their favourites in Wally's room one last time. After "Love,actually", "Notting Hill" and "Bridget Jones' diary" (it almost seemed like Wally had a thing for Hugh Grant,the blue-eyed,brown-haired heart throb) "Four Wedding and a funeral" got its turn. As the funeral scene was ending, Dick was ready to repeat the same sentences he always did during the years,but Wally's opening line surprised him:

"I've decided who's going to recite at my funeral" he said with a smirk(yet again, mouth full of popcorn).

"I hope you told Artemis cause she does not like surprises" Dick looked away, feeling a sting of jealously over a hipothetical situation. And even if it weren't, god forbid, Arty is his girlfriend, Dick snap out of it!

"Oh no, she doesn't, but she shouldn't be worried cause I chose you" Wally turned to Dick, who went through 17 different emotions in 3 seconds.

"Why me?" Dick asked after processing the newfound information for much longer than his mind usually did.

"Well, your my bestest friend in the whole wide world plus with how many times we've watched this masterpiece, I bet you know the poem by heart"

"Just because you love it doesn't mean it's a masterpiece" Dick tried averting from the conversation.

"I know, but it still is. You haven't responded"

"But its a love poem and most oftenly linked to these two guys!" Dick slightly raised his voice, panicking.

"If someone even tries to comment anything even slightly negative on that matter, they will be haunted by yours truly for the rest of eternity" Wally joked, punching Dick in the shoulder.

"So,will you do it?"he asked after few minutes of silence.

"Yeah, of course" Dick huffed "but don't you dare die any time soon!"

"Well, with Artemis' cooking, it might be sooner than you think" Wally grined,enjoying his best friend's company...

...

It was a rather gloomy day, although it wasn't raining. You'd think that rain was an essential part of every funeral, but people died throughout the whole year. Dick was sitting in the first row, next to Artemis and her mother, Barry and Iris, wearing dark sunglasses and a black suit. He felt a deja-vu, but unlike at his parents' funeral, he wasn't crying. Not that he didn't want to (he wanted to lie and weep and scream at the sky and curse into the ground all at the same time) it just wasn't his assigned role. Artemis was sobbing into her mother's shoulder, Barry's face was puffed, he definitely spent the night crying, same as Iris'. Dick couldn't cry in front of them, he was just Wally's friend. Who also got him killed. Wally was never supposed to get back into the superhero business and now he was gone. It was all Dick's fault. No one said that to him,but Dick knew it was the truth. And there was nothing more that Dick wanted than to dig up a hole and just die in it(that is actually a lie,more than that he wanted his best friend back) but unfortunately, that wasn't possible, so he got up to hold an eulogy for his (former)oldest,best friend.

Dick cleared his throat, checking if he actually had the strength in his voice to pull this of, and started: "Wally loved romantic comedies. He would cheer when it came to the happy ending and complained and cried when there wasn't. It was always easy to figure out Wally's emotions. When he was happy he smiled and when he was sad he ate 2 gallons of chocolate ice cream. When he asked me to read a poem from one of his favourite movies at his funeral I could see he was being serious. That was weird because: 1)he wasn't serious very often and 2)we were teenagers and you don't really think about these thing when you're a teenager. So here I am, today, respecting my best friend's,at the time,riddiculous wish."

Dick pulled out a piece of paper with the scribbled poem but then he stopped and put it away. Wally was right,he knew it by heart.

"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,

Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,

Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,

Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West." Dick paused,trying to keep himself together.

" My working week and my Sunday rest,

My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;

I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;

For nothing now can ever come to any good. "

He whispered the last line,saying a final goodbye to the one that got away.

#birdflash #dick grayson #wally west #nightwing #kid flash #young justice #the flash #dc

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cianmars · 3 years

Text

They were roommates... (A Lokius Fic)

So I made this a lil while ago, it gets updated every few days

Loki has to stay somewhere in the TVA and if he was working for them then its a little mean to leave him in a cell... or at least that was Mobius' argument, so he took one for the team and has Loki move in with him... A purely selfless act....

AKA Loki learns to be a good person, an okay roomie, and a not so good at being a menace to society (unless society bugs him)

AO3

Loki hadn’t recovered from seeing the projection of his mother being murdered in front of his eyes, because of him, for very obvious reasons…. But he had started to come to terms with it, with everything.

That of course didn’t mean that he wasn’t looking for a way, any way, out; but it did mean that he had agreed to work with the TVA, well not with them, but with Mobius, even if the man (was he a man? Man was just short for human, was he human?) was infuriating, in every Gods damned way.

A whistle and a tilt of the agent’s head was what woke Loki from where he was dozing at the same table he had been sitting at since he had brought in, some unspecified time ago, Loki had opened his mouth to tell him that Gods did not appreciated being whistled at like a dog but Mobius was already off, walking out of the room.

Gods did not chase after anyone, let alone men who were holding him prisoner, Gods did not chase…

“Gods don’t chase,” he told the man, practically bouncing as he caught up to the fast walking man (seriously how did he walk so fast?), his head following everyone who passed them as they walked by, and trying to see what propaganda they had tacked to their modern walls.

“And yet, here you are,” Mobius replied in that calm yet amused tone he always used for Loki.

Loki glared, but Mobius wasn’t looking at him so he rushed past him, turning back to face the man walking backwards without breaking pace, trying to focus on him not on everything they were passing, he hadn’t been this way before, had they? A hundred questions bounced around his mind, most of them were ‘why the fuck is a talking duck being led by four armed guards?’ and ‘can I go talk to the duck?’.

A hand on his upper arm stopped all the thoughts in his head and he had to stop himself from coming to a full stop, or tripping, that would be embarrassing.

“Careful, Loki, you’re gonna bump into someone,” Mobius slowed his pace as he pulled Loki to walk at his side, “You can keep bouncing around like Tigger from beside me.”

Loki was not blushing; not at how flustered the touch made him, not at the mixed soft and amused tone which Loki swore was just for him (he wasn’t possessive he was just right), not from the chastisement, no he was not blushing, the TVA clearly just had a heating issue which seemed to be largely affecting just his cheeks, they couldn’t even heat a building correctly. Typical.

Loki cleared his throat, unrelated to his blushing, “Casey doesn’t know what a fish is but you know what that hyperactive big cat is?”

“Like I said Loki, you’re a pussycat.”

“Remind me to introduce you to a real hungry tiger one time,” Loki muttered, cheeks still pink, he kept an eye onto the admittedly comfortable slip on canvas shoes as they slapped against the floor.

“What was that, darling?”

This bastard was doing this on purpose, he had to be… unless he wasn’t, then he’d have to explain why in general people who were practically strangers didn’t call each other ‘darling’, but that did come with the increased risk of him either never calling him it again… or calling him it again, and they’d both know it was on purpose. He’s a bastard. Loki plastered a cheery smile onto his face, looking up at Mobius with a look of innocence they both knew was fake, “Nothing!” his smile turned genuine hearing Mobius laugh.

They were in a golden doored elevator when Loki found his voice again, “Where are we going?”

“I seem to remember some God of comedy telling me that he didn’t talk much…”

“It’s the god of mischief, or tricks, not comedy,” Loki cut in, narrowing his eyes when he saw a barely concealed smirk on his face, “But of course, you knew that as you know ‘everything’ about me. Where are we going?”

“Why don’t you tell me?”

“How can I tell you if I don't know?”

“You’re pretty,” Mobius leant forward past Loki and pressed his hand to the black screen on the elevator pad, pausing his speech for a second too long as he did so, “smart, why don’t you try to figure it out?”

Loki was frozen as Mobius’s arm brushed against his own as he leant back and stood beside Loki, he could smell the sandalwood from his aftershave as he moved. “You’ve found The Variant, the less amazing, less talented version of me?”

“The Variant is pretty talented too, Loki.”

“Not as talented as me,” Loki pouted, not pouted, Gods did not pout (as his father so often talk him), but his lips were pressed together and slightly stuck out. This was just ridiculous, he wasn’t pouting and he wasn’t jealous, because what would he even be jealous of? Some less awesome version of himself gaining Mobius’ praises?

“Agreed.”

Loki’s head snapped to the man who was studying his watch intently, a little too intently, if Loki wasn’t imagining it.

Mobius cleared his throat, looking back up at Loki, a mild smile on his face, “We haven’t found The Variant, yet. Any more guesses?”

Loki let out a frustrated noise, “This isn’t fair, you have more information where we’re going, I haven’t been given any clues!”

“Take a breath.” Mobius told him with an amused smile and a glint in his eyes, “Why’s it so hard for you to say I don’t know?”

“I don’t know.”

“Nice, very funny,”

Coming from anyone else it would have annoyed Loki, but it sounded both fond and amused from Mobius, he needed to get out of the TVA it was making him… he didn’t know, but it wasn’t what he was used to, and that made him nervous, which typically made him feel stabby. “So you’re not going to tell me? It’s taking forever, for a place which dictates how everyone else should spend their time you’d think that you would actually develop a elevator which doesn’t waste all of your time.”

“Time works differently here in the TVA, Loki, I’ve already told you; anyway no need to whine, we’re here now.” The elevator stopped and the doors opened and Mobius strode out and headed left.

“I wasn’t whining,” Loki whined to the empty elevator, before bounding after him.

“What’s this?” Loki bounced on the balls of his feet as Mobius stood in front of a door, as it scanned him.

“Do you ever stand still?”

Loki thought for a second, he shook his head, then ran his hand through his hair to place it back into its original place, “Most people ask me if I ever shut up.”

Mobius looked away from the door to Loki with that ever present smile, “I already know the answer to that one,” he winked then pushed the door open and walked inside.

Loki took a few more seconds to follow him than he perhaps would have had Mobius not winked at him.

When he finally did walk in he was met with… an apartment, fairly lifeless, the style of the rest of the TVA continued inside of the place, a small kitchen, a living area with a screen which looked like a television but he dare not ask in case that bloody cartoon clock began to play, there were a couple of doors leading off to one side and a couple more leading off on the other side.

“I don’t understand.”

“What don’t you understand?”

“Don’t use that patronising tone on me, I'm not a child.”

Mobius sighed, “I wasn’t using a patronising tone on you, Loki, I was asking you what you don’t understand, which is okay.”

Loki gritted his teeth and began to move around the room, strolling to the kitchen, he wasn’t sure if it was to stop himself from snapping again, or, gods forbid, from apologising. “So?” He turned back to see Mobius watching him with his hands tucked into his pockets.

“So…? Use your words, Loki.”

Loki could see the glint in his eyes across the room, that time he had meant to “What’s the test? Has the variant been here? Or is there some sort of set of clues? Or…, I swear if there’s a training video or propaganda video I shall launch myself out of the windows.”

“Nah, we’ll start on the training and propaganda in a day or two, not right this second, and those aren’t windows.”

Loki turned to look at the windows, “What are you talking about, of course it’s… oh simulated glass panes… I must have sustained a concussion from The Hulk, I’m never usually this slow.”

“Of course…” he said in a way which made it clear that he did not believe it, “We can get you checked out at the medbay tomorrow, if you like, being here might be affecting your healing capacity. This isn’t some form of test, it’s an apartment, my apartment.”

“It’s…” Loki looked around again with fresh eyes, it was still fairly lifeless, but there was a bright yellow mug on the draining board with that bloody clock on it, and a Coca Cola red pen on the table closest to him, a few certificates with ‘Mobius M. Mobius’ on all of them, along with some books which didn’t seem to be propaganda for the TVA… interesting… “It’s very…,” he tried to think of a compliment but gave up quickly, so instead gave a shrug, “it’s smaller than my childhood nursery was.”

Mobius gave a laugh, “I’m sure it is.”

“Well it’s very… it’s certainly an apartment… Why precisely are we here?”

“It was agreed by Judge Renslayer that if you would be working with us you deserved to be housed somewhere which isn’t a cell, of course you can’t go anywhere without me, and this apartment is fully secure.”

“You’re not worried that I’ll slit your sleep in your sleep?”

“It would mean I don’t have to get around to all of the paperwork on my desk.”

Loki frowned, why did this man never take his threats seriously? “If I’m staying here where will you be staying?”

“There’s two bedroom’s Loki, you’ll be staying in the guest bedroom.”

“A guest bedroom? Why do you have a guest bedroom? Are you allowed guests at the TVA headquarters? Do you have guests? Like your mother? Do you have a mother? Do all of the apartments have guest bedrooms? Are you agents allowed to get married and have kids? I don’t see why else you’d need two-.”

“Loki, can we stay on topic, please?”

“Sorry,” Loki swallowed, looking around once more, then back at Mobius, “I… I suppose it’s better than a cell.” The best thing about the cell had been Mobius’s visits, because Loki enjoyed annoying him, and nothing more.

“Marginally,” Mobius chuckled. “Is that a yes? Cause if not I should get you down to a proper cell before dinner time.”

“I… I suppose.”

“You don’t sound very enthusiastic, the cells really aren’t that bad, if you’d be more comfortable in your own space then I can take you there.”

Loki rolled his eyes, dropping into a rather uncomfortable armchair, he almost regretted his dramatics, almost . “I’m staying… But if you try to indoctrinate me into your cult with more of those videos I’ll skin you alive.”

“That’s the spirit.”

Loki was certain that he was going to kill either himself or Mobius by the end of the week.

#lokius #lokius fic #wowki #wowki fic #agent mobius #mobius m mobius #loki #loki laufeyson #loki disney+#loki show #they were roommates fic #twr fic #twr

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babedur · 3 years

Text

oops, i was drifting off to sleep and had a horrible thought. had to share it with the world.

so, some jeangst.

It was almost a week before Jean realized. He could hit himself, for being so fucking stupid. He nearly got up and walked over, in the middle of the night, sitting up in his bed- but no. No. He wasn't doing that anymore. He rolled over and fought himself back into sleep.

The next day, though, he stopped by Harry's place.

"I can't believe it didn't occur to me," he muttered, heading straight for Harry's phone. There was a notebook and a pen that appeared to have taken up residence on a side table nearby. He flipped it open and scrawled down his phone number. "You didn't remember your own fucking address, how did I not think that you'd forgotten my number?"

He turned to his partner. Harry looked... uncomfortable. "Actually," he said. "Trant stopped by. He made sure I had everyone's number- everyone in C-wing, and Pryce, god forbid I should ever need to call him from home."

Jean paused. Looked to where Harry gestured- and there it was, Heidelstam's neat, inoffensive print, everyone's names and current addresses and phone numbers. Satellite-Officer Vicquemare, right at the top. (Lieutenant Kitsuragi's had been scrawled in below, in someone else's hand. Not Harry's. Probably the man himself.)

"Oh," he said. Unsure of why he felt like he'd been kicked in the back of the knee.

"Look," Harry said. Jean looked- and looked away. "I know that- I drug you down a lot."

"You don't know a fucking thing," Jean growled. Like a dog, raising his hackles. Defending...? "You don't know a god-fucking thing about the shit I've gone through for you over the years."

"I don't," Harry agreed. "But I know you sure as shit don't deserve any more of it."

"Fuck you, Harrier du Bois." He didn't want to look him in the face. See the pitying expression from- from his partner of six years. He looked at it anyway. "You think you can just- just fucking shut me out?"

Harry's expression was not one of pity. It was one of surprise, shock even. "I thought- I thought you'd be happy."

Jean laughed. He laughed long, and merciless. "Harry," he said, "How many times do I have to fucking tell you? We've gone through this before. So when you find yourself high as fuck across town with no way home, or thinking it would be a good idea to give your gun a blowjob-"

"Vicquemare." Harry's voice was solid, like walking into a cold, concrete wall. Like Harry could get when handling an unruly suspect. "Get out of my apartment."

There was a time that Jean would have ignored that order. Did ignore that order. Dragged Harry, fighting the whole way to the shower, to the kitchen, to his bed. Because he knew that the moment he gave in and tried to leave, Harry would beg him to stay, would start apologizing, pleading, explaining how badly he hurt everyone around him, and that was so much worse than fighting with him.

But this time, when Jean turned to go, Harry let him. Silent, except for his hard breathing.

Jean paused on the threshold. Saw a flaw in what was happening. He turned. "Look," he said. "If you need me- don't let your fucking pride get in the way, asshole."

"I won't," Harry replied.

Won't let your pride stop you, Jean wondered, halfway down the block. Or won't need me at all?

#snippet #discoed elysiumed #disco elysium #wow! these brainworms hurt!

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collecting-stories · 3 years

Text

Car Lessons - c. 15 - Georgia

A/N: Fucking finally 😭😭

Georgia Masterlist | The Walking Dead Masterlist

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

Daryl clenched his fist, trying to calm himself down as he stood at the front of your jeep with you. He had agreed to helping you with your car, had even been the one to suggest it originally, but spending the afternoon with you again, the way he used to, was a lot harder now. Knowing the way you felt for sure and knowing exactly what he felt, it was hard to stop himself from just telling you, giving in to the temptation of letting himself be with you.

“At what point do you think we could take a break?” You asked, turning to look at Daryl, smiling at him with your best attempt at puppy dog eyes.

“Barely even taught ya anything,” Daryl replied though he stepped away from the hood, wiping his hands on the rag from his back pocket.

You had off from work today and a half-day at school as you prepared for spring break. Daryl had kept his word to teach you. Nearly a week of ‘car lessons’, as you had deemed them, had happened so far. Tara joined you on two occasions, picking up the knack much quicker than you were and actually getting along with Daryl, something you were grateful for.

“I know but I’m kinda hungry,” You reasoned, “I think my mom’s trying to starve my dad out of the house.”

“Thought she was happy he was home.” Daryl replied, watching you walk over to the picnic table in front of the camper and take a seat on it, feet stable on the bench beneath it.

“It’s a catch-22,” you shrugged, noting the way Daryl’s eyebrow quirked when he didn’t recognize a phrase and explaining further, “she wants him home for appearances but she doesn’t want him home cause she’s seeing someone else.”

“E’rbody’ll find out anyway...what’s the difference?”

“The difference between my mom leaving my poor, working father or him abandoning his family?” You asked, pulling a face as he sat down beside you. You knocked your shoulder against his and smiled, “come on.”

He just hummed and nodded in return. It always came back around to the same thing, appearances. Your mom cared about the same thing everyone else in King County cared about, how they were perceived by their neighbors. Heaven forbid, anybody thought there was any fault to be had in your mother’s life. You had been living with the grief of that for a long time too but the more you had spent time with Daryl the less you cared what anyone else in town really thought of you.

“You been alright?”

“Do you always worry this much about me and you just don’t say it?” You asked, grinning at him. You’d been trying to drop hints for a week now that you still liked him and that you knew he liked you back, if only he would wise up to it and not pretend this was just some odd sort of friendship.

He pushed himself off the picnic table, patting his jeans for the keys to his truck before holding them out to you, “come on, ain’t got any food here worth eating. Ya wanna drive ta Woodbury?”

“Me drive?” You asked skeptically, reaching for the keys from his outstretched hand. Just as you touched the keychain his pulled his hand away, a close-lipped smile on his face, “stop!” You laughed, hopping off the table and trying for the keys again.

Daryl closed his hand around them, holding tight as you grabbed his wrist, turning so you could put yourself between him and his arm, your back to his chest as you pried his fingers open. “You said I could have the keys.”

“Ya weren’t quick enough,” he nearly laughed, wrapping his other arm around your waist as if he could hold you off that way.

Your fingers interlocked with his as you pulled the keys away, holding them above your head so he couldn’t grab them, looking back at him triumphantly. “Got ‘em.”

He let you go, hand grazing your stomach and then pinching your hip as he stepped away from you, the faintest of pink tinged on his cheeks. Touching you was something he couldn’t resist and he’d gotten bolder about it since the first afternoon he’d spent with you but he still got embarrassed or self-conscious after the moment ended. But you ignored that moment, smiling at him as you shook the keys, showing off your win.

“If I drive do I have to pay too?” You asked, walking to the truck.

“Wouldn’t wanna put ya out.” He replied, pulling himself up into the passenger seat. Once you’d started the truck, he fiddled with the radio dial, turning it to something that he liked.

“I know you never come to stuff that I invite you to but Maggie and I are having a joint graduation party, thought maybe I could extend an invitation.” You mentioned. Annette had sent out the official graduation party invitations a week prior, getting the slot for the second weekend in May before anyone else could try and claim it. “I know you hate people-”

“I don’t hate people.”

“You don’t like them.” You pointed out.

“Ain’t it.” He shrugged, “its the other way around anyway.”

“Well I’ll be there and I like you.” You said, looking over at Daryl and catching his eye for just a second before he turned away, lighting a cigarette to distract himself, “Tara’ll be there too.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Are you saying that cause you will think about it or because you want me to never ask you about it again so you’re humoring me?” You asked.

Daryl grinned around the cigarette in his mouth, “take your pick.”

You bit back a smile as you rolled the truck to a stop, casting your eyes down to the dash, “you’re low on gas,” you mentioned, noticing the dial lulling to the E.

He nodded, a silent agreement that you could pull into Jacqui’s for gas. After your birthday you had stopped hanging around Daryl and it was as if everyone in town had gotten the memo about it. Patricia had even commented that she was glad you seemed to be “back on track” and whether you cared what they thought or not, when you started hanging out with Daryl again you had kept a low profile about it. This was the first time the two of you were going anywhere together during the day, when anyone could see you driving around in his truck.

But you pulled into the gas station without a second thought, truck facing the window of the small store as you parked at a pump. “I’m not paying for this either.”

“Yer unbelievable, ya know that.” Daryl rolled his eyes, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket and handing some cash to you. “Just get $20...get me a pack of marlboro too. Jacqui’s always up my ass when I’m in there.”

“Oh yeah, cause she won’t be up mine?” You asked, taking the cash from him. You popped the door open and got out, turning back around to look at Daryl, “anything else?”

He shook his head.

You shut the door as you stepped passed it, walking between the truck and the gas pump, heading inside the store and ignoring the car two spots down from you. All you were thinking about was the sheer relief you felt stepping inside the door and realizing that it wasn’t Jacqui behind the register. Small miracles, you thought, paying for the gas and asking for a pack of marlboro.

“You front the bill for his drugs too?”

Your eyes practically rolled into the back of your head at the sound of Shane’s voice. You had been avoiding a majority of the people you knew from school since the fight at Shane’s house but he definitely topped the list.

“Shut up Shane.” You mutter, grabbing the cigarettes from the cashier and turning to leave, pushing passed your ex-boyfriend. When you push the door open he follows you outside, stepping in front of you. Just over his shoulder, at the truck, Daryl looks over. He’d gotten out to pump the gas and the sight of Shane blocking your path had sparked his attention. “What?” You were still paying attention to Shane though and hadn’t noticed Daryl, “What do you want?”

“I just wanna talk to you for a minute.” He reached for your arm and you stepped away from him. “I’m just trying to understand where you’re coming from. Hanging around that low-life? Showing up to my party with Aiden? Come on, guys like that don’t give a shit about you.”

“Wow, thank you for that amazing chat, I’ll put you down as concerned and delusional for thinking I give a shit about your opinion.” You started to step around him but he moved to block you again. “Shane...I swear to god, get the fuck away from me.”

“I still have feelings for you.”

“I have to go.” You pushed passed him, walking across the parking lot to Daryl’s truck, stopping just in front of him, “next time, you go inside.”

“He give ya any trouble?” Daryl asked, taking the pack of cigarettes and the receipt from you.

“No, just being a general douche and trying to lecture me. I mean, where does he get off lecturing me?” You complained.

Daryl hung the nozzle back up, closing the gas cap. He placed his hand on your arm as he passed you to walk around the front of the truck, placing a quick and surprising kiss to your head as he did, in full view of Shane. You grinned, sure that Daryl was turning pink from his ears to his chest because of the peck but not wanting to look at him and give Shane any more of your attention. You got in the driver’s side of the truck, finally glancing at Daryl as you pulled the car out of the parking lot.

“You’re pettier than I thought you were.”

“Ain’t petty,” he replied, smacking the new pack of cigarettes against the palm of his hand, “just want that Walsh kid off yer back.”

Daryl showing you any kind of affection or attention would probably have the exact opposite effect if you were honest but you certainly weren’t going to tell him that and discourage him. “I don’t like him but he can’t take a hint.”

“Has he bothered ya before?” Daryl asked.

“Not for a few weeks,” you replied, “he came into the diner after the party but Otis told him to leave. Lori said he’s ‘passionate’ about me.”

“That ain’t passion.”

“I know.” You assured.

Daryl looked over at you as you pulled up to a red light, “be careful if he comes around again.”

“You know, people tell me the same thing about you.” You teased and he scoffed.

“I wouldn’t ever hurt ya.”

“I know.”

You pulled the truck into the parking lot of the diner in Woodbury, parking in the same spot you had when you had driven there the first time. The familiar little diner was a welcomed sign in your life right now, as was Daryl. You knew the chances of him coming to your graduation were slim but you thought that resistance he had to letting himself be with you was slowly breaking, his resolve disappearing. He’d kissed the side of your head, for a split second, quicker than a blink of the eye, but he had done it and you couldn’t shake the feeling it had caused. The way all the annoyance and anger at Shane had just washed right off you when you looked at Daryl and how okay you felt when he touched your arm.

“You should let me drive your truck more often,” you commented, handing the keys over as you walked inside with him.

“I’ll think about it.” He replied.

“Are you just saying that to humor me?”

He looked back at you as the hostess grabbed two menus, the smallest of smiles crossing his face, the smugness of it making you smile back.

taglist: @hopesxxhigh @coffeebooksandfandom @jodiereedus22 @tehfabbooty @thecaptainsgingersnap @of-storms-and-sadness @twdeadfanfic @mainokutan @sabertooth-potato @solllaris @bucky-barnes-babies @ly--canthrope @daryldixonandfrogs @jaycc7983 @easnuppa @imaginecrushes @tonystarkismyboy @watchmeaspire @harpersmariano @guccicloudz @sapphire-angel @buzzybhee @alexbealee @elodieyung @its-evita-here @angelbabymed

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fanficimagery · 4 years

Text

Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner [Part 1 of 2]

Summary: Imagine being the “baby” of the group.

Words: 2.8K Warnings: Language. I tried my best, anon. I hope you like it either way. Requested by Anonymous who said: hi! i’ve had this idea in my mind of being younger than everyone else in the VS (maybe like 19/20?) and literally everyone calls you Baby like it started as a joke but it’s gotten to the point they’re introducing you to others as “Baby” and they’re all super protective of you and yeah just a cute thought i’ve been having hehe

While you've heard of the Vlog Squad and watched David Dobrik's videos to pass time, you didn't think nothing much of the group who were living their best lives and posting for everyone to see. They seemed like they'd be fun to hang out with, and though you lived quite close to where David apparently lived, you never once rushed to the random pop-ups or ran into any of them when they were out and about.

But that all changed one day when you were playing with your puppy in the park, and you were surprised when David, Natalie, and Jason walked up to you. Natalie had fallen in love at first sight of your Beagle puppy and David chanced walking up to you in hopes of getting his friend some play time with the dog. You were surprised to see them and then quickly explained your surprise, and they were pleased to learn you watched their videos. You had then happily let Natalie play with Milo, the four of you sitting on the ground as you teased Milo with doggie treats. It was then David, Natalie, and Jason learned some about you, the three of them surprised to learn you were not yet twenty-one when David had jokingly invited you out for drinks. Jason grumbled about hanging out with toddlers, and David had giggled as he recorded Natalie and the puppy.

You figured running into them was a once in a lifetime type of deal, so you were surprised to run into David and Natalie again about a week later. While waiting for some food for yourself and your parents, the two of them had walked in to order an outrageous amount of food. They had spotted you first and you were shocked they remembered your name. Then as the three of you had chatted while waiting for your food, David invited you back to his place to eat when he realized you didn't live that far. You had politely declined because you had to get the food back home, but David urged you to join them. He suggested that you could eat with them and their friends, and Natalie suggested she go with you to your house so you could drop off the food, pick up Milo, and then she'd direct you to David's. They were eager to have you join them, and to pick up Milo, that you couldn't say no.

It was a bit surreal to meet Zane, Heath, Mariah, and Todd, but the group welcomed you without even batting an eye. Jason, upon spotting you when he arrived, jokingly referred to you as Baby. Everyone seemed confused, but when they found out why the baby jokes were soon to start. And from that day forward, you were introduced as Baby to everyone else you had yet to meet and the name just stuck.

You're sitting on the floor of David's living room, a bowl of sliced cucumber in hand and a smaller bowl of Ranch dressing balancing on your knee. David's editing not far from you and Natalie is playing with Milo in the backyard.

The front door opens, someone shouts to see if anyone's home, and you shout back to confirm that there is.

Erin, Carly, and Jeff walk around the corner, the three of them laughing at what they were previously talking about. "Hey, Baby." They all greet.

"Hey, guys." You see Carly glancing around the floor and you grin. "Milo's out back with Nat." She chuckles before walking to the door, Erin walks into the kitchen, and Jeff plops down on the sofa right behind you. "Snack?" You ask, holding the bowl out for him over your shoulder.

"What'd you put on it?"

"Just lemon juice and a sprinkle of salt. There's also Ranch."

Jeff huffs a laugh at your bowl of Ranch, but does accept a couple slices of cucumber. Erin soon joins Jeff on the sofa, and the girls come in from outside with an excited Milo in tow. As Jeff and Erin then attempt to grab your dog's attention, your phone rings with the telltale sound of a Facetime call.

Erin takes the two bowls when you answer the call, you quickly thanking her before one of your other friend's excited face fills the screen and her voice spills out of the speaker. "Happy birthday, bitch!" You cringe and smile in thanks, avoiding the gazes of those around you as they suddenly go still. "We're getting fucked up tonight! You're finally legal!" She squeals.

You sigh. "I don't know, Em. I don't drink much and I'm not too fond of having strangers grind on me."

"Come on, girl!" She groans. "We're in the prime of our lives! You need to let loose at least once in your life."

"Yeah, Baby," Jeff lays out behind you, his face just visible behind your shoulder. "You're in the prime of your life. Go out and have fun."

Your friend's eyes widen on screen and you faintly grin. But before she can question you, David's piping up. "It's your birthday? Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because I don't care for celebrations," you shrug.

"But it's your twenty first!" Natalie says. "You're supposed to let go once you turn legal."

"Oh my god. Our Baby is no longer a baby," Erin realizes. Carly laughs, she busy playing with Milo again. These people really loved dogs.

When you meet your friend's gaze on the phone, you sigh yet again. "Em, this is Jeff. Don't even think about it. I forbid it."

"But-"

"Nope. Now if you want me to go out tonight, you'll forget all about the hot person behind me and text me where I'm supposed to meet you guys tonight. Okay? Love you. Bye."

As soon as you drop your phone beside you, your friends are on you.

"It's your birthday!? Oh my god," Natalie says. "I can't believe you hid it from us."

You laugh sheepishly. "I didn't exactly hide it. I just- I didn't tell you. I didn't want you guys to feel obligated to get me anything or do something."

"But you're twenty-one," Carly says. "That's huge!"

"Not really. It's rare that I'll have a drink. I'm not too eager to get shit-faced and wake up regretting my life's choices."

"Well tonight you are," Natalie says. "Come on. We'll raid my closet for an outfit and get you ready."

"But-"

"No buts," David muses. "You have this night with your friends and then next week you'll celebrate with us."

"But Milo," you say, picking up your Beagle and holding his face to your cheek. "I can't leave him all alone."

"On it." Jeff takes Milo from you and you pout at him. "What? The sitter's got Nerf for the night. I'm not doing anything."

Chuckling lightly, you let Natalie and Erin pull you up to your feet. Carly follows behind you and you readily start picking through a drawer of your stuff in Natalie's room for underwear you kept there for emergencies. She hands you a towel and a robe, and instructs you to not wash your hair. You oblige her, taking extra care to pamper yourself in the shower before making your way back to her room.

Mariah has now joined them, she surprising you with a cupcake and a singular candle. They quietly sing happy birthday to you as to not attract all the boys, and snap several pictures to post later. Carly then does your hair and Natalie your makeup. Once they're done, you get to choose between four outfits they had put together and laid out on the bed.

One outfit in particular catches your attention- anything that sparkled was a weakness of yours- and you spend a little too long staring at the metallic sequined crop top with a plunging v-neck.

"Why don't you try it on?" Carly asks.

You huff. "And risk flashing my tits? No thanks."

"That's what the tape is for." Mariah laughs.

Natalie and Mariah then help you into the crop top, taping it down so you don't flash anyone when you no doubt let go at the club later that night. The top pairs with high waisted, faux leather shorts that fit almost like a second skin and a pair of chunky heeled boots that stop just above your knee. You have to endure a mini-photoshoot for your friends before they let you out of the room where they then direct you to the kitchen without even addressing the boys.

"A round of shots for the birthday girl," Natalie says, immediately seeking out a bottle of liquor and shot glasses. Carly, Erin, and Mariah cheer. Shots are poured and then passed out, you grabbing it and raising it in front of you so Natalie could finish her toast. "May you let loose, have fun, and call us from a jail cell so one of us can go bail you out."

"Don't jinx me!" The girls all laugh and then you down your shot, grimacing.

There's a sudden commotion as others arrive and you make small talk with Erin and Carly as more people enter the kitchen.

"Oh hey, when did we get a new hot gi- oh my god, it's Baby!" You whirl around at the sound of your name, slowly grinning at Todd's gobsmacked expression. You wink.

"Damn, babygirl," Zane whistles, "who is you trying to impress?"

"Alright, alright!" David shouts, camera recording. "Everyone gather 'round." Zane, Todd, Heath, and Jeff enter the kitchen, everyone gathering the kitchen island. "So today is Baby's twenty-first birthday-"

"WHAT?!"

"Shut up, Zane, and let me finish." Everyone laughs. "As I said before I was rudely interrupted, today is Baby's twenty-first birthday. She didn't tell us because she didn't want presents or a party-"

"BOOOO!"

"-so tonight she's going out with a few friends-"

"Not dressed like that, she's not!" Heath then interrupts.

You and the girls all cackle, even more so when the other boys are seen vaguely nodding along.

"But next week she's all ours. So, Baby," David says, coming in closer so the camera is practically in your face, "any last words before you're too drunk to make good choices?"

"Yeah. If my tits pop out of this shirt, I'm throat punching Natalie for encouraging me to wear it."

"Hey!"

More laughter rings out and you can't help but laugh as Zane, Todd, and David struggle to not look at your chest.

"Jesus, Baby," Heath mumbles. "Will you please change?"

"Nope."

"If you don't change, we're following you to the club," Jeff says.

You grin. "Well then I guess you're following me to the club."

Thirty minutes later, you're sitting on Todd's lap on one of the middle seats in David's Tesla. He and Jason are in the front, you, Todd, Jeff, and Zane in the middle, and Heath and Ilya in the back.

"You know, I didn't think you were actually serious that you'd accompany me to the club," you say. "Or pick up Jason and Ilya."

Ilya laughs from the back seat. "Todd sent me a pic of your.. chest. I was torn between wanting to put a shirt on you and ogling the picture some more."

"Todd!" David laughs. "You didn't?!"

"I'm sorry!" He laughs.

"She's like our baby sister, man," Jeff chuckles. "What is wrong with you?"

Todd laughs, his arms lazily wrapped around your waist. "I was so confused! I mean, I know it's Baby, but.."

"We ain't never really seen Baby's boobs on display like this. It's confusing. And upsetting," Zane says.

"Now you boys know how it feels for us girls when you walk around in nothing but your boxer briefs. I mean, you guys are like family. Sort of. But you're all still so pretty. It's confusing."

The rest of the drive doesn't take very long and soon enough David's pulling up to the club your girl friends are all waiting outside of. And before you can open the door, Todd's holding on tighter as Jason turns around in his seat. David records what comes next.

"Ground rules," Jason says, putting on a mock serious expression. "Very little alcohol, no drugs, no boys, no hook-ups, no-"

"Yes, dad, I get it. Have fun, but not too much fun." You sigh. "Can I go now?"

"Listen here, young lady." You snort and all the boys snicker at Jason's tone. "You are only just barely legal-legal. You're lucky I'm even considering letting you out of this car!"

"I love you guys, but you're all idiots. I'm going now." You tap on Toddy's arm to let go, which he does, and you make your escape soon after.

Then making sure the tape has done its job and kept you covered, you pull down on your shorts from where they'd ridden up. You wave to the boys as soon as the door closes, but you only make it a few feet before Jason's voice is ringing out.

"Call us if you run into any trouble! We mean it, Baby!"

You stumble and glare over your shoulder when people start to stare, you flipping off all the boys now laughing. Your girl friends then walk up to you, staring between you and the car of boys in amusement. "Don't ask," you grumble. "I need a drink asap."

- X - X - X - X - X -

By the time you're stumbling out of the club, every one of your girls are completely smashed. Makeup is smudged, shoes are in their hands, and one of your girls is a crying mess. Your mind is a little fuzzy and some things look like they're in slow motion when you move a little too fast. Thankfully, however, you had enough of your wits about to order an Uber for the girls and call David to come pick you up just because.

The Uber gets there before David, so you quickly wrangle up the girls and get them in the van. Then left alone, you take a seat on the curb and mess about on your phone to keep yourself occupied. Your Instagram has blown up with notifications from all the sloppy pictures your girls had posted and tagged you in, and all the comments your other group of friends had left on them.

There's whistling behind you, followed by some catcalls that make you slightly uncomfortable, but you do your best to ignore it.

Finally the familiar white Tesla pulls up and you sigh in relief. The front passenger window rolls down and Todd's beaming smile greets you. "Someone doesn't look like they've had fun."

"I was until some idiots ruined it."

"Aw, Baby, whose asses do we have to kick?"

You huff a laugh as you attempt to get up, only to trip and bump into the side of David's car. You can hear him cackling from the inside. The back passenger door opens, and Zane and Jeff are recording you with their phones.

"Seriously, Baby, who pissed you off?"

"Just some-"

"Yeah, sweetheart, flash us those tits!"

The shouting startles you and you grimace, looking towards the source of crude remark. The guy who shouted, plus all his friends, laugh as they shove each other around and continue staring at you. Todd leans his head further out the window and Zane halfway exits the car.

"Flash us your tits! Flash us your tits!"

"Suck my dick!" You suddenly bark back, your anger spiking. The catcalling morons seem startled you spoke back, they still laughing but no longer chanting. "What? You think it's cute to act like jackasses? You wanna see tits so bad, go home and jerk off to PornHub."

"You tell 'em, girl!" A random group of girls cheer you on.

"Fuck, Zane, get her in the car!" Jeff says.

"You wanna go, you little bitch? Lets go, motherfucker!"

"Zane, grab Baby!"

You start to walk off, but arms wrap around your waist and pull you back.

"Yo, man, come get your girl! She's fuckin' crazy."

"What the hell did you just say?" Zane stills and suddenly you're the one nudging Zane back to prevent him from marching up and starting a fight.

Suddenly David's in your face, the light on his camera blinding as he laughs in your and Zane's face. Todd and Jeff do their best to calm the situation, and then you're being herded into the Tesla. And even though there's two perfectly empty seats in the back, you're seated on Zane's lap in the middle seat with Jeff beside you.

"Are you kidding me right now?" Jeff suddenly muses, chuckling the further David gets from the club. "You went from 0 to 100 in a blink."

You frown. "They started it. I ignored it at first, but the chanting really got under my skin."

"You're a mean drunk," Todd giggles. "You went off on those guys. I seriously can't wait until next week."

"I can. Everything feels super slow right now. It's almost making me dizzy." Since you're sitting sideways in Zane's lap, you place your head on his shoulder and snuggle in. "This sucks."

"No, no, no. Don't you dare puke in my car."

You burp. "No promises."

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