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#but also everything is not okay on my end because i am not in a good mental spot now and he essentially ghosted me after i just trauma dumpd
bluewhitehues · 2 days
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I hate you not ♡
Choi Seungchol × f. reader
|Arranged marriage/ forced marriage |
Genre: Angst,fluff,sort of enemies to lovers.
Summary:Married against their will, seungcheol and y/n end up hating each other.
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Part 1 | Part 2
Masterlist
After your shower, you wear your sweatshirt and shorts and go out towards the dining table where he's waiting for you. He was standing there leaning back on the counter. He comes forward when he sees you,giving you a little smile. He comes forward to pull the chair for you..you stop in your track looking at his smile cause this is the first time he's smiling at you.
"You're scaring me seungcheol." You say with eyes wide and round.
"Huh? Why? Because I pulled the chair for you?" He asks raising his eyebrows.
"That too but because you just smiled" you say looking & blinking up at him, eyes still round in surprise.
He narrows his eyes at you,"You are not gonna stop teasing me, are you?" He asks you notice his ears turning Red.
"I was dead serious, i got chills. You've never smiled at me ,last time I saw you smile was at the wedding,when you were forcefully smiling at the guests" You say finally sitting down.
He moves to arrange the dishes infront of you serving you, "Well yeah ..but I'm a human, I do smile ...I don't mean to scare you but you'll see it more often from now on " He says smiling again.
"Did you add anything in the food ?" You're half teasing him now but you're also half serious. You watch his eyes go comically wide "Oh my god, nooo ..why would you-" He shakes his head ,grabbing the chopsticks taking the food from each bowls and tasting it "see-" "nothings in there you can eat it." He says sitting down on his chair infront of you. You're trying to stifle your smile "okay okay sorry"
Well technically it isn't your fault. It's a very reasonable doubt. First he smiled at you, now he's giving you food to eat.
The idea of him being nice to you was too far fetched but him wanting to get rid of you, may be murder you, seems kind of right. Because let's be honest, he has always looked like he has a stick up his ass and whenever he talked it was venom. So your doubt is kind of reasonable.
There's spaghetti, spicy noodles, rice and chicken.
"What food do you like? "He asks you, trying to be casual "I wasn't sure so I just- got this" He says gesturing towards the food.
"This is fine I like rice in my meals , I like chicken too, seafood too, what about you ?" You ask back, glancing at him while eating the spaghetti.
"I like pretty much everything I love food..meat, rice, ramyeon everything.."
He says chewing on his food.
He initiates most of the conversations, it was quite awkward because you were not used to this.
"I always wanted to ask this but..did you have any girlfriend when our marriage was fixed? " You ask wiping your mouth with the napkin, looking at him for the answer.
"No I didn't..though I did think about bringing a fake one so I could break our marriage.."his lips twitch .."but I knew it wouldn't work, my father knows too much about me." He says shaking his head to the side.
"Ohh..I thought you had one that's why you hated me so much."
"Again I don't hate you..I never did,it's just I, i was angry i still am but I've got it now you shouldn't be the one on the receiving end of it ..i wasn't in the right mindset since our marriage was decided. You would know, you didn't like me too you were angry just as much, we almost didn't talk in the first month of our marriage..we avoided each other like plague" He chuckles.
"Well yeah I was in bad state too..it took so much for me to actually build some courage or even hope to actually talk to you , I didn't think you'd react so badly" You chuckle.."I just thought I'm trying so you'd open up to me too. But you were an asshole about it." You shrug.
"Okay say that as many times as you want until you feel better." He says in all seriousness nodding at you
"Daily..for two months atleast..i think I'll feel so much better" You say nodding back at him.
He closes his eyes with a sigh and opens them again "okay you can totally do that. I'm ok with it"
"Great then! Good night." You say getting up from the chair.
"Uhm ya good night ..sleep well." He says awkwardly smiling at you.
It's been a month since seungcheol is being nice to you. You're not as doubtful of him now. You've seen him, observed him enough to know that may be he really has changed, he really is showing his real side to you now, he has started to open up to you and he is making you feel comfortable around him now. You eat breakfast and dinner together these days ..sometimes he even texts you to ask if he could come and pick you up from the work. You wouldn't say you became friends totally but you're getting there with baby steps.
That weird look you saw in his eyes is still there when he smiles at you awfully softly when you say something funny or when you talk in general. You haven't been able to figure out what it is but you will confront him about it. The butterflies you feel whenever he gives you that smile are another topic you haven't been able to understand..don't you despise him? Why does he have those stupidly attractive and adorable dimples? why would you like his smile? You're weird seriously.
It's his brother's anniversary party today and you are supposed to go together. As a couple.
"Y/n" He knocks at your door "Are you ready?"
"Yeah coming just 2 minutes!!" You shout from inside.
When you come out and he sees you, his breath gets stuck..heart skips a beat or two and he's just standing there looking at you. You were fixing your hair, when you look up at him, he's just standing there like a statue his ears are somewhat red. And you would be lying if you say you didn't blush looking at him standing there all handsome and just staring at you. You never denied it, you know you've got a fine as hell husband.
"Let's go?" You ask him taking him out of his trance.
"Uh? Yes let's go." He says smiling you walk behind him towards the door when he turns around and says "You look good."
"Thank you, you're looking good yourself." You say While avoiding his eyes, hoping he wouldn't notice your natural blush along with the make up.
"Thank you." He says smiling.
You're wearing a sparkly glitter off shoulder gown with a slit on the one side of thigh. Hair long and deep berry coloured lips. Seungcheol is wearing a white button down with black pants.
He opens the car door for you and closes it after you sit.
Few minutes pass,you are on your way. Seungcheol is sitting beside you,you're in his fancy car, and Ofcourse he has his own chauffeur.
Seungcheol sighs glancing at you"I didn't want to go. My parents will be there." He says with a frown.
"It's ok we can come back early may be" you say giving him a reassuring smile.
"Yeah" He nods.
"Also stick closer to me even if you don't want it. So many people will be there, the photos might even get out in the press. I already don't like this." You blow out a breath shaking your head.
"Who said I don't want to stick closer to you ?" He asks raising his eyebrows at you.
"You do?" You ask.
"Aren't you my friend? I'd rather stay with you than have to talk with them." He shrugs.
"When did I agree to be your friend? I clearly remember me saying I'll think about it."
"I- ok then." He says nodding and looking out of the window. He's clearly sulking. His hands crossed over his chest, a pout on his face.
You let out a surprised chuckle,"Wait are you really sulking right now?" You ask trying to look at him.
He huffs,"No I'm not."
"Yeah? Say that while looking at me" You poke his shoulder with your index finger and he shrugs it off. He's still looking out of the window.
"Ok ok I was kidding. We are friends, you've proved it by now." You say smiling and he turns to you.
He narrows his eyes at you,"Thank you. You're so mean."
You raise your eyebrows at him"More than you?"
"No" He says in a small voice "but it was in past. I haven't been mean to you since the last month,have I?"
"No you haven't and I hope you continue that cheol."
His head snaps towards you at the speed of light, "cheol? Wait did you call me cheol?" He asks eyes big and a happy smile on his face.
You get flustered for a second, you didn't realise you said that ..so you say "decide one thing do you or do you not want me to be your friend? Friends call each other by nicknames"
"No no I want you to call me that ,you just took me by surprise." He quickly explains.
You get out of the car and he holds out his hand for you. You look up at him,he smiles softly at you. You fight off the blooming blush on your cheeks and take his hand. He holds you so gently. His hand is so warm,it makes you adjust your hand properly in his and hold it by your fingers. He smiles at you again. Helps you on the stairs.
You go inside the venue and notice there really are so many people.
"Let's just go and wish hyung and wish wife first then we can go early." He says in your ear. You nod at him, the blush won't leave your face.
"Hey hyung -Noona Happy Anniversary to you both." Seungcheol says smiling at them and hugging his brother. His brother gets so happy seeing seungcheol, that too he brought you with him. You also wish them.Seungcheol nudges you to hold the gift he has been holding in his hand,so you both could give it to them.
He again holds your hand. Guiding you towards an area where you could sit. Just then his old friends call him, they talk to him..you whisper in his ear,"I'll go sit there or else my heels would kill me" You say pointing at the drink and snacks counter where surpringly are very few people. "Ok stay there I'll be there in 5 minutes" He says nodding. stroking your hand with his thumb before letting it go. You go and sit there and order a mocktail. Cheol wants to go to you, he keeps glancing at you but his friends won't stop talking. Just when he was glancing at you he notices a man standing few feets away from you staring at you, cheol follows his eyes going to your exposed leg and instantly feels his blood boil. He clenched his jaw, excusing himself from his friends. He goes straight to you blocking you from the man's view. Putting one of his hand on the counter and the other behind you on your chair,he's standing so close to you.
"Sorry I took so long didn't I? They won't stop talking" He says looking down at you.
You knew it was him,you smelled his cologne as soon as he was behind you. So you don't get startled. You look up at him when he talks to you. You notice him standing so close to you and raise your eyebrows at him. "Well it's ok"
He ignores your silent question and keeps looking at you, "what are you drinking?" He asks.
"Oh ..just a mocktail, I'm lightweight I can't handle alcohol" You give him a toothy grin looking up at him. And god he finds you adorably adorableeee. How can you be so fine and cute at the same time. He has this urge to pinch your cheeks, so he does,very lightly. Chuckling showing his own teeth on full display. Looking at you with that weird look again. "That's ok, I know a few more you'd like ..wait." Then he shifts his attention from you to the bartender, telling him a few names.
As much as you liked him standing next to you, "Aren't you going to sit down?" You ask him tilting your head.
"Oh yeah" He says pulling a chair close towards you and sits down.
You enjoy the drinks he ordered for you complementing him that it really is good. He smiles at you that stupidly attractive dimple smile.
"You want to get out of here?" He speaks in your ear so you could hear him over the music.
"Home?" You ask him with furrowed eyebrows. He shakes his head smiling at you "you'll know let's go" He says getting up. You get up and nearly trip. He instantly grips you by your elbow. "Hey careful.. you ok?" He asks worried. You notice the hook of your heel is undone,he follows your gaze and instantly gets on his knees to fix it for you. Your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. And the butterflies? They are tickling your tummy so bad and may be they are sitting on your cheeks too.
You didnt expect him to do that "Cheol you don't need to-" he cuts you off,getting up.
"It's ok, let's go" He smiles taking your hand in his again. God you're blushing and you notice a few people looking at you two.
Seungcheol sees his parents approaching and speeds up instantly. You sigh when you're out in the open air. "Till when you're not going to talk to them. Your mom looked so sad, you should atleast talk to her."
"I don't know y/n ..They need to understand I'm not a robot who's supposed to follow their orders. I've feelings too."
"Sorry I didn't mean to upset you"
"You didn't"
He takes you to a place where it's so peaceful, you can hear the crickets chirping, you hear the water flowing and the best part is the night sky filled with infinite stars. "Woah" you look up in awe. swirling yourself to capture the whole sky in your eyes.
"You like it?"
"Like? Cheol I love it" You say laughing and he thinks the stars you're holding in your eyes right now are even more precious and beautiful than the actual ones.
"I'm glad you love it".. "You're about to love it even more." He says giving you a mischievous smile.
You look at him confused your brows furrowed. He goes to the car taking a white bag from it and bringing it to you.
"When did you even get this?" You look at him eyes wide when he takes out the yummiest looking fried chicken and burgers. "I told hanbin to buy it" He says gesturing towards the car where the said chauffeur hanbin is.
You eat it while sitting on the bench.
You giggle looking at him "what?" He asks cheeks filled with the burger he's eating.
"You look like a four year old baby eating. Look you've got sauce and crumbs all over your lips." You say still giggling.
"Just say I look cute and go." He says narrowing his eyes at you. And he really does look so cute you almost coo.
"And you're no one to talk you've got sauce on your lips too" He says grabbing a tissue and wiping it gently on the side of your lips. You pause eating. Why's he doing this to you?? first he held your hands, then he fixed your heels, he brought you at such a beautiful place and now this. And how can you forget he brought his jacket from the car because he noticed you getting cold, the butterflies, the heartbeats everything has been a mess for you. And him? He seems so casual about it like it's the most normal thing to do, making you feel like you're only overthinking.
You reach home, and your thoughts won't let you be in peace so you hold his sleeves from behind stopping him. He turns towards you,"hmm?" His thoughts were filled with you too, thinking how you'd now go in your room and he can't be close to you, how tomorrow is too long to see you again.
You can't pull him towards you so you step towards him, tightening your hold on his sleeves. "I've questions for you." You say looking him in the eye. And his eyes go a little wide but he's quick to mask it. "Okay..go ahead."
"Why do you look at me like that?"
"Huh?"
"You have been looking at me like that alot these days..are you hiding something from me? " You ask him further.
In one swift motion he removes your hand from his sleeves and envelops it in his own.
"Do you still not trust me?"
"I'm not saying that, I'm asking why are you looking at me like that ..the way look at me it changed..you have been acting so weird since last month and i didnt actually buy it completely when you said you started acting nice to me because i didnt eat dinner and breakfast ..i mean come on that doesnt make that much sense ..look at you holding my hand right now, and do you want me to say every little thing you did today?"
"Will you say anything or am I just crazy?"
You notice his cheeks turning Red.
"You're gonna make me say it, Aren't you?" He whispers.
"Make you say what?" Your own voice not above a whisper as he's looking at you like that
He steps closer to you, hand still holding yours. "Promise me you won't get angry at me or won't forget this past month we spent together?." He says worrying his lower lip between his teeth.
You have not seen him this nervous before."Depends on what you're going to say cheol ..but ok I'll try..what is it" You ask tilting your head at him, for some reason you're nervous too. You liked this past month so much,you don't want to ruin your progress.
"I-" He takes a long breath with closed eyes and then again matches your gaze. "What if I told you I actually like you?"
Your heart starts speeding at his words, "That's something I never thought would be an option ..but do you?" You ask tentatively, your eyebrows furrowed.
"I do" He says tightening his hold on your hand. "I like you y/n."
You keep looking up at him, opening and closing your mouth again not knowing what to say, your brain is covered by fog suddenly.
"Please say something..I'm kind of dying here" He says holding your hand as if you'll go away from him any second.
"Since when?" You ask
"From last two months, since I admitted it to myself. But i think i started to like you even before that,unknowingly. " He tells you, his eyes vulnerable.
" Are you right now saying that was you liking me? Really? I don't understand two months back you were far from liking me" You look at him confused.
His cheeks get warmer again with the embarrassment,"I know I'm sorry that was me being an idiot you know me by now..i- I purposely tried to push you away because I didn't want to give my parents the satisfaction that I did end up liking the girl they chose for me against my will." He says squeezing his eyes shut in embarrassment.
"Huh" You huff in disbelief.."Are you saying you made me suffer, let me think of myself as a fool , just because you were in denial and you didn't want to like me?? You idiottt" You say trying to free your hand from his hold and hitting his chest with the other one. "You idiot of a man you idiot" You say hitting him again and again.
"I know..I know I'm sorry ..I'm sorry,just one last time I swear I won't give you any reason to complain again, just one last time ..I'm not an idiot anymore I swear, I'd rather hurt myself than hurt you again ." He doesn't leave your hand(you stop trying after few attempts) and let's you hit him as much as you want, until you stop and your hand drops by your side.
You look up at him with your own vulnerable eyes, they're glossy and seungcheol curses himself all over again.
Your eyes going from his one eye to another and then you're lurching forward to hug him.. You bury yourself in his neck/shoulder, hands looping around his waist, clutching his shirt in a tight hold. You close your eyes, trying to calm yourself and just dissolve in his arms. On the other hand he thinks his heart stopped beating for a second when you hugged him because he didn't expect that, he thought you'll be mad at him again. But soon he holds you to himself again pulling you closer. Burying his face in your hair, taking a deep breath,finally letting out a sigh. He feels like he'll cry any second. He has never felt such intense emotions for anyone before. You do something to him which he can't quite explain. "I'm sorry." He says in a quite whisper,as if it'll break your bubble if he even let's out a loud breath.
You notice the crack in his voice and say,"shut up ..I hate you." Your own voice a whisper too as you breath in his scent,clutching the fiber of his shirt even more tightly.
"Mhm It's ok..I'll take that too" He says smiling to himself. Pressing his lips on your hair,kissing there a few times.
It's like both of you don't want let each other go because you just keep standing there hugging each other.
You think it's been 10 minutes.
"I like this but my feet are starting to hurt." You mumble in his shoulder. He opens his eyes to look down at you, you pull back to look at him too.
"Oh ..you're still wearing your heels." He says looking down, you both are blushing, your cheeks tell it all.
"Sit here" He says, guiding you to the couch with your hand.
He gets down on his knees for the second time today. Carefully taking your leg on his knee and undoing the hooks of your heels one by one..his soft light touch sends goosebumps on your skin. "Oh..you're whipped for me ..Mr. Choi, who would've thought" You say with a teasing smile. Inside you're a blushing mess but you won't leave a chance to tease him.
"And if I am?" He says raising one of his eyebrow and he's smirking Ofcourse. Oh you're gone..cause there is no reason to find this so hot as you're finding it right now. And that brat doesn't stop at that, he squeezes your ankle in his hand pulling it towards himself. You shiver at his touch, and try to fight off the blush on your cheeks but fail so badly, so you just look away from him, avoiding his eyes. He smirks even more then let's out a chuckle.
He removes the other heel too. "You won't answer me?" He asks Standing up. "No" You reply. He chuckles again saying "ok tomato." "Wha-?What kind of a nickname is that?" You say looking up at him with a huff. "Because you look like one right now" He says poking your cheek with his index finger. Dimples blooming fully on his cheeks. "Yeah? Should've looked at yourself a few minutes ago" You say huffing, standing up. Brushing past him,he instantly catches your hand, "let me walk you to your room you're limping ..are you sure you're ok? Does it hurt bad?" He asks looking down at you worriedly. "It's ok it'll go away..just the side effect of wearing pretty heels." You say pouting at your feet.
"I can totally massage them ..or pick you up if you want." He says. You turn to him narrowing your eyes at him. "Just saying" He shrugs trying to stifle his smile. When you turn again going to turn the nob of your door. He pulls you a little making you look at him. "Are you going to come out again after changing? We could talk.." He says nibbling his lip. He just doesn't want to let you go. "Talk about what?" You ask softly, raising your brows at him. "Just..anything" He shrugs. "Ok I'll see." You say ..he let's you go with a sigh then whispering an "ok".
And you're no different you don't want to go as well. So you turn around calling him, "Seungcheol" This time you're the one catching his hand. "Hmm?" He turns around and you go forward, pulling his hand keeping it on your waist and holding both of his cheeks in your hands.. you stand up on your toes and press your lips on his. His eyes go wide, but he's quick to hold you. After a second of glitching he quickly holds your jaw with other hand and turns his head to the side to kiss you better. He walks you backward slowly,pressing you on the door. Your noses bumping with each other. He's kissing you so gently yet so intensely and you're trying to return it as much as possible. You pull back to catch your breaths.
"Guess you're whipped for me too Huh?" He says exhaling above your lips, wiping his thumb over your lower lip.."And if I am?" You say with a smirk repeating what he had said. You watch his eyes go from wide and round to dark and dangerous in a second before he groans and presses his lips on yours again, more harshly this time. "Mhm" You let out and press yourself further in his arms looping your hands in his neck, and his hair pulling and caressing the hair on his nape.
"A-are you- trying to kill me baby?" He asks in between the kiss,pulling back so you could hear him. "Shit - don't- call me that" You say between the sharp exhales to catch your breath. "Youh-you don't like it? " he asks furrowing his eyebrows, removing the hair strands from your face with his fingers and putting them behind your ear.
"Nah..I like it too much.. that's the problem." You say your eyes going from his eyes to his lips. He smiles, again those damn dimples. He chuckles and presses his lips on yours gently, you feel it tickle your lips. "Thank you for telling me that ..baby" He says,talking over your lips. You feel his smile growing. And looking at him that happy and smiley, you laugh too..pressing your giggles to his lips. "I'm not letting you go now..it's all your fault" He says pulling you to himself again kissing you properly.
.
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A/N: so here's the part 2 ..sorry for being late but look it's so long and my hands just kept going 😭😭 they still want me to write more ..if you want that too then reblog/ comment. AND HOW IS IT PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME.❤️
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11cupid-tarot11 · 3 days
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Pile 1 -> 3 🩷
Short random messages regarding love for you! 💓
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Pile 1- the chariot, the star and seven of coins
For starters the star card is making me think you might already have a crush on this person or might know of them, take what resonates for you.
For others, I'm getting this person might just really admire you. I'm hearing they like you so much they're willing to basically cross seas for you.
This person is strong willed meaning when it comes to you nothing else matters in the world, I think they have their eyes on a prize and are very determined when they want something which would appear to be you lol
I think this person is already planning y'all future in their head, like they've really got everything figured out even how they want to approach you 😭 (that's cute lol)
I feel like this person just really wants to say you're all in their space and they're accepting it. Like they can't wait for the day you two come together (and get married I'm hearing for some 😉😜) but they're definitely planning on making their move soon!
Other messages- 1111 might be significant, you're hot, lots of dates in nature, can't wait to kiss you, I miss you already.
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Pile 2- I FORGOT TO WRITE DOWN THE NAME OF THE CARDS BUT I WILL NOT FORGET NEXT TIME MY POOKIES 🤞🏾😜🩷
Okay, for this pile I'm picking up on a dynamic that's like light and day, one person in this connection is a bit colder, closed off and I feel like someone in this connection just refuses to give up.
I'm hearing 'let your doors down' and this person might feel very hurt that the other isn't open to the same emotion intimacy the other is into.
I'm seeing it might be best to take a break, maybe the relationship has gotten to a point neither of you had meant it to or you're just really disappointed by the outcome and they're clearly not up to your standards and it's not good to settle for less.
I'm seeing maybe some of us are trying a little too hard to hang onto this connection but we can't change nor fix something that's not broken.
I am seeing for some of you that removing your energy might actually make this person miss you, and if they love you enough they'll come around and compromise so the both of you can feel fulfilled and happy in the relationship and if they don't clearly they weren't the ones for you and that's okay, because you never know when the universe is going to throw someone new your way! This could be a blessing in disguise 🥸.
Other messages- 444 could be significant, the color red, maybe a red car? I have no idea what song this is but it's got something to do with driving?idk ur person is singing it 🤣 Maybe that's significant for someone out there?
Pile 3-
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So for this pile I actually heard 'its time!" I think this pile is being called to awaken to something or for some of you a special someone? 🥹
Okay this message was a little harder to read but I think both ends have been stressing out over this? And it's kind of ridiculous because you're both literally good people according to spirit that would have a very beautiful relationship and would grow like a freaking fruit tree! I think spirit is saying since neither of you will make a move they'll be forced to push both of you using the universe- like magic almost I'm hearing.
This pile was shorter, and I'm also randomly hearing someone in this connection could be short lol? I think someone here might smile a lot too, I'm seeing smiley faces!
Other messages- the song 'Magic by txt', 12, 111, the color yellow and maybe the month of May- June might be significant for some of y'all?
Have a fantastic day! 🌹 See you all again soon! Hope you enjoyed 😊
Dm for personal readings!
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vlcimor · 2 days
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I am not over (and probably never will be) these two parallels. And no one talks about it enough, so I had to draw it (forgot to post it, surprise) for my own sanity. Does it help? Absolutely not, not at all.
Let's talk about it for a bit, okay?
The first drawing is the scene from the end of the 4th episode of the 1st season, right after Ed's and Izzy's (first mate at the time) conversation about plans with Stede, the full crew of the Revenge, and the future. We can see Ed's expression and OH BOY. He is hiding under the mask of Blackbeard to survive. He is exhausted, bored, empty and so done being "The dreadful pyrate Blackbeard". He just wants to be Ed, who fancy fine fabrics and sweet and soft things. It's completely opposite to Izzy's expression, who is behind him and smiling, clearly delighted by Blackbeard's persona and his great plans. On top of it all, the song "The empty boat" by Caetano Veloso playing in the background (I love love love this song), and it fits so well with Ed's emotions.
The second drawing is the scene from the 1st episode of the 2nd season, right after Ed and Frenchie (now first mates) spoke about future plans. Ed let himself be soft and got hurt because of it. Now he's trying to be Blackbeard again, trying to fit in some "norms" of "manly man," trying to survive in a world where liking soft and being soft means dead, and he is failing miserably. He is everything he doesn't want to be. Also, even Stede's name is not mentioned, you know it's all about him. Ed is hurt, tired, and heartbroken. Ed is not the only one who see this. Basically, the whole crew can see how unstable he became after coming back to Blackbeard/ The Kraken persona. Frenchie´s expression shows it all. He stands behind him on his right side, the same spot where Izzy stands in S1. But his expression completely different from Izzy's - sad, afraid, unsure. Once again on top of the scene, the song "Pygmy Love Song" by Francis Bebey (one of my favourite songs from S2) perfectly shows all Ed's emotions.
I am so sorry for this long, boring post. I simply LOVE these two scenes and everything about them, and I needed to share my thoughts with you. I hope it makes sense and my grammar is not too bad.
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vbecker10 · 7 hours
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Can you do a jealous ex where reader is with Loki and the ex starts getting mad and starts texting and calling reader constantly then one day she forgot her phone and Loki reads the texts and listens to the voicemails then reader comes home to a concerned Loki because reader got hurt somehow?
She's Mine Now
Pairing: Loki x female reader (y/n)
Summary: You and Loki have only just started dating and you're worried your ex-boyfriend will ruin everything. You've been able to hide how often your ex contacts you but one night he calls over and over while you are with Loki. After finally admitting to Loki what has been going on, the God of Mischief takes matters into his own hands.
Warnings: controlling ex-boyfriend, jealous ex-boyfriend, some vague mentions of previous abuse (nothing specific), arguing, swearing, threatening language, name calling, Loki being super protective
A/N: I'm so so so sorry it took me ages to get to this. I'm finally going through my request box and I loved this the minute I saw it. I changed it just a little but I hope that's OK. Thank you for sending it! I hope you like it! 💚
Also... I realized as I was proofreading this that I never named the ex-boyfriend so it's whatever you want it to be lol pick any jerk you know haha
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Loki sits on the end of his couch, your head resting on his shoulder while his fingers run slowly up and down your arm. You've only been together a month but you have completely fallen for him. You look up at him and smile when he laughs at the movie you selected.
He notices you watching him and kisses your nose causing you to giggle. "The movie is more interesting than I am, I assure you," he jokes.
"I've seen it," you respond but rest your head against him again.
Everything about him makes you want to tell him how perfect he is and how deeply you love him but you are afraid to. A small voice inside you keeps holding you back from opening up to him the way you want to. Every time you told you ex-boyfriend you loved him, he would tell you that you sounded clingy or needy or desperate. You don't want Loki to feel the same so you keep those three words to yourself.
Loki's fingers move from your arm to your back, moving in slow circles. You close your eyes and focus on how calming it feels but then his hand moves further up. He begins playing with your hair, his eyes still fixed on the screen, a small smile on his lips. You try to keep your thoughts from racing as you feel a familiar pit growing in your stomach. He's upset, he doesn't like your hair this way, your inner voice starts to spread panic throughout your body, he's going to grab a fistful of it any second and yell at you. You tense as his fingers gently run through your hair and he notices the change in your behavior.
"Are you okay, love?" he asks, he removes his hand and looks down at you concerned.
"Yea, I just-" you look down and begin playing with the sleeve on your sweater as your mind replays what happened the last time you got a haircut without talking to your ex first. "I'm sorry, I- I was going to ask you before I cut my hair. I know I should have but I was only going for a trim so I thought it was okay but then I saw a shorter style I really liked and I just went for it but-"
He cuts off your words suddenly when his lips met yours, your whole body responds to his kiss and the feeling of his hand softly touching your cheek, relaxing you instantly. He pulls back slightly, his eyes locked on yours so he knows you are listening to him. "It's your hair darling. You can do what you like with it," he gently plays with the ends of your hair. "You don't need to ask me to do things like this," he says as if it is obvious.
You nod and remind yourself for the hundredth time that Loki is not your ex-boyfriend.
He settles back on the couch, bringing you with him easily, his arm around you. He smiles and adds, "I'm sorry if I forgot to tell you that you look beautiful today."
You blush and bury your face against his chest, the heavy feeling inside of you vanishing completely. He kisses the top of your head and goes back to watching the movie. You close your eyes and force the images of your ex-boyfriend's reaction from your mind, replacing them with Loki's words.
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Half an hour later your phone vibrates on the coffee table. You lean forward to try and reach for it but Loki keeps his arm around you. You giggle and try again but he doesn't let go. He looks down at you and smirks, "Where do you think you're going?"
Your phone continues to vibrate. "I need to answer my phone," you roll your eyes.
He looks back towards the TV and dramatically puts his foot on the edge of the coffee table, sliding it further away from you as he straightens his leg.
"Loki!" you laugh as a smile spreads across his lips. He finally loosens his grip so you can get up. You pick up your phone but as soon as you see the number, you end the call and put it face down on the table.
"Who is it?" he asks.
"Wrong number," you answer with a shrug but the laughter is gone from your voice.
You sit heavily next to him and he waves his hand to bring the table back to its original spot. He doesn't respond but you know he can tell you are lying, his expression has become serious and his eyes remain fixed on your phone. Before you can think of a better excuse, your phone begins to vibrate again. You grab it and hang up quickly without stopping to see the number, you know who is calling.
"Who is it, Y/N?" he asks again, his tone is curious but you can feel your nerves getting worse.
"It's no one," you tell him as you tug on your sleeve again.
He sighs at your response and turns off the TV. "I don't like being lied to," he says as he faces you.
"I know," you shrink away from him, waiting for him to yell or tell you to leave.
"Y/N," he reaches out to touch your chin lightly, wanting you to look at him but you flinch away from his touch involuntary. He pulls away as well, giving you more space instead of invading yours. You look up after a moment and instead of seeing anger in his eyes as you expect, he looks sad.
You know in your heart Loki would never hurt you but your instincts had forced you to distance yourself from him. When your ex was upset because you had lied or had done something he thought was wrong, he could be unpredictable.
Your phone vibrates again and he sighs as he picks it up off the table. He hands it to you and says, "Whoever it is must really want to talk to you."
"I don't want to talk to him," you tell Loki, trying to hold back your tears. You toss it away from you wanting it as far from you as possible. It skims over the top of the coffee table and lands on the ground in front of the TV.
"Who keeps calling you, Y/N?" he asks again and this time you know you need to answer him.
You tuck your legs underneath you and move further away from Loki, wrapping your arms around yourself. He shifts his body to face you but doesn't move any closer. "It's my ex-boyfriend," you tell him, you try to keep the fear from your voice but you know he hears it.
"The one Wanda told me about?" he asks, his eyes glance towards your phone and you see a flash of anger cross his face.
You nod but don't say anything else, you had barely mentioned your ex to Loki for so many reasons. You aren't sure how much Wanda told Loki but it was obviously more then you had ever shared with him.
"Please talk to me," he says, moving towards you slowly, testing to see if you will pull away again. "I don't understand why he would still be calling you. I thought you ended things with him months before I met you."
"He started calling and texting me again a few days after our first date," you finally admit to Loki. "I don't know how he even found out about us..." your voice trails off as you look down.
You feel Loki move closer to you again and your body tenses as you prepare for an argument or worse, you shouldn't have hidden this from him, it was as bad as lying.
"I'm not texting him back I promise. I always ignore him. I don't want him to call me but he just keeps doing it, I've asked him to stop but he won't," you say quickly, all in one breath. Loki opens his mouth to say something but you are too afraid to give him a chance. "I didn't want you to be upset, that's why I didn't tell you, I wasn't trying to hide anything or lie about it, I'm sorry," you feel the apology pouring out as it had so many times with your ex. You cover your face with your hands but can't stop the first few tears from escaping.
"I'm not upset Y/N," he says softly. He gently touches your hands and slowly takes them away from your face, "I'm worried about you, that's all."
You look at him, not having expected that response. When your ex found out you were texting Wanda after work, he had been furious. He had never met her and didn't want you telling a stranger anything about him or your relationship.
"I'm sorry," you mumble quietly, not even sure what you are sorry for anymore.
"Please stop apologizing," he says in a calm voice, "You haven't done anything wrong." He wipes the tears from your cheeks, his eyes never leaving yours.
You nod and without thinking you answer him, "Sorry."
He gives you a half smile and puts his arms around you, pulling you close. You squeeze your eyes shut and press your cheek to his chest as he rubs your back slowly. He holds you and sighs, "I don't know what he did to you... and I will never ask you to tell me," he adds when you look up at him, "But I need you to remember that I am not him. I never want you to be scared of me, you can tell me anything."
"I know," you wipe your eyes again. "I'm sorry-"
He raises an eyebrow at you and you let out a small laugh. "There's that beautiful smile I love so much," he smiles in return.
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A few hours later, Loki lays awake staring at the ceiling, wishing you hadn't left. He has told you on numerous occasions that he sleeps much better when you are curled up in his arms. Unfortunately, you need to run an errand before work tomorrow so you had gone back to your apartment after the movie finished. Closing his eyes, he rolls over but sits up quickly when he hears a faint buzzing sound.
He gets out of bed and follows the sound into his living room. Loki looks around as the buzzing gets louder until he finally sees your phone lighting up on the floor just under the tv stand. You must have forgotten you threw it there when your ex-boyfriend was calling. He was worried when you didn't text him to say you arrived home like you always did, so at least now he knows why.
He stands still for a moment, watching it ring as he debates what to do next. The call ends and he bends down to pick it up then he takes a seat on the couch. After a few seconds, it vibrates once more notifying him that there is a new voicemail.
He sits back, phone in one hand with his other hand over his eyes. Loki trusts you more than anyone he has ever known, on Midgard or on Asgard and doesn't want you to think he's invading your privacy. It's not you he wants to check up on, it's your ex-boyfriend. Everything he knows about him, he heard from Wanda in one very short but eye opening conversation. She only told him what little she knew but it was enough for Loki to know that you deserved better. He sounded like a man you weren't safe with and your reaction to his calls tonight confirmed that for him. Loki would do anything to protect you so he takes a deep breath and unlocks your phone.
Thankfully he remembers your password, you had told him what it was last weekend so he could send himself some pictures you took together at the museum. He opens your call history and covers his mouth with his hand in shock. Fifty-three missed calls in the last week alone, he stares at the number in disbelief. You hadn't answered a single call but still he attempted to reach you over and over. Most of the calls came in groups late at night, like they had while you were watching the movie.
He opens your texts, feeling both guilty for looking around and angry knowing what he will likely find. He smiles a bit when he sees how you've saved his name in your phone, Mischief 💚, but immediately frowns when he sees an unsaved number right below his conversation with you.
He clicks on it, at first he barely reads the words, he just scrolls further and further down hoping to find the end. He sees text after text after text, some are long rants while others are a single insulting word and it seems to go on forever. Once a day is a text from you pleading with him to leave you alone but it only seems to enrage him.
Loki quickly goes from upset to angry to furious as he reads the threats and insults your ex-boyfriend had thrown at your over the last few weeks. He grinds his teeth as he thinks about you being afraid of your ex and the things he has done to you. He sits back and types out a lengthy reply but at the last second he deletes it.
With a smirk he sits forward with his elbows on his knees and begins to type a new, much shorter message. He hits send and waits a few moments. Your phone vibrates when your ex replies and Loki turns off your phone before going back to his room.
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You look both ways and cross the street quickly, excited to finally see Loki for lunch like you do every day. You spot him sitting on his usual bench just past the entrance to the park, lost in his book. You smile when he looks up, his book vanishing as he stands. He hugs you tightly then leans down to give you a kiss.
"I missed you," you tell him, his arms still around you.
"Then you shouldn't have left last night," he smiles. "Oh, I believe this is yours," he takes your phone out of his pocket.
"Thanks. I can't believe I forgot it, that was really stupid," you shake your head. You had realized when you got home last night that you had left it at Loki's but it was too late to go back.
Your heart stops when you realize its your ex-boyfriend. You look up at Loki, one of his arms is still around you but his eyes are fixed to your ex as he approaches with a wide smile and outstretched arms.
"You are not stupid," he corrects you and before you can respond you see someone walking over to you.
He continues towards you and when your brain finally registers that he is trying to go in for a hug you free yourself from Loki and quickly back away. Loki moves in response, putting himself easily between you and your ex which causes him to stop.
"Seriously Y/N?" he says, already sounding annoyed with you. "I drove all the way out here for lunch with you and you won't even give me a freaking hug? You're lucky I accepted your ridiculous invitation after you kept ignoring me."
Loki says, "Y/N did not invite you here, I did."
"Oh really?" he's looks from you to Loki and seems unphased that he is face to face with the Prince of Asgard. "What, are you looking for some tips on how to control her better?" he laughs to himself. "Of course, if you've decided you're done with her, I'll gladly take her back. I put years into fixing her, wouldn't want that to go to waste."
You take another step back as his eyes find you again and they roam up and down your body. You suddenly wish you hadn't worn a skirt and you cross your arms tightly around yourself. He always commented on how you dressed, he had so many opinions on what he wanted you to wear.
Loki notices how uncomfortable you are and brings the attention back to himself. "Do not look at her, this conversation is between you and me," he tells your ex.
He sighs and says, "Fine, what do you want?"
Loki holds his anger at back and in a controlled tone says, "You will apologize for how you treated her in the past and then you will leave, never return here or contact her again."
He almost laughs and says, "I treated her the way she deserved. She needed to learn how to behave and you should be thankful I trained her as well as I did."
Your eyes dart from your ex to Loki and your heart races with anxiety about what might happen next. Loki doesn't respond at first, you watch his fist clench and his jaw tighten. He looks like he is holding himself back from lashing out with every bit of strength he has.
"You have no idea what she was like before. When I first met her-" he tries to look at you but Loki cuts him off.
He walk steadily forward, glaring at him as approaches. "I will not stand here and listen to a pathetic mortal like you speak poorly of Y/N. She is kind, funny, generous, creative, beautiful and so much more. She never deserved to be mistreated by the likes of you. Y/N is a queen and I will ensure she is treated as such."
You can't take your eyes off of Loki, you've never had anyone speak about you this way before.
Loki stops just in front of your ex and says, "If you ever speak to her, text her or see her again, I will make sure you suffer greater than any human on Midgard has ever suffered before."
Your ex-boyfriend looks at him in shock but it quickly morphs into anger, he does not take being challenged or threatened well. He takes a small step backwards and says, "You can't just threatened me like that. You might be some fancy royal on your planet but here your just another asshole. If I want to talk to her, I will. She was mine once and I could take her back if I really wanted to."
As soon as the words come out of your ex's mouth, you know he finally pushed Loki too far. Loki's full armor and tall horned crown appear in a bright flash of gold and green. Your ex goes quiet in an instant as you are both reminded that Loki truly is a God among men.
The God of Mischief looms over him, staring down at him, daring him to speak again. Loki raises one hand and suddenly your ex is picked up by his throat, a green mist surrounding his neck. He tries to claw at it but Loki's magic brings him closer, until they are eye to eye. In a dark voice, Loki says, "She's mine now."
Your ex-boyfriend looks utterly terrified and a part of you can't help but enjoy seeing the fear in his eyes after all the pain he inflicted on you. You watch, your heart still pounding quickly. As much as you want your ex to suffer, you are afraid Loki will go to far, you've never seen him so angry. Look had worked so hard over the last few months to gain the trust and support of the Avengers, if he hurts your ex he will have to face serious consequences. As much as you hate your ex-boyfriend, its not worth risking Loki's future with the team or with you.
Loki's magic brings him closer, until the are inches from each other, his feet dangling helplessly above the ground. "Do not doubt for a moment that I will do what needs to be done to protect the woman I love. Is that clear?" Loki asks and he nods rapidly in response.
Loki releases him from his grasps and he falls to the ground. Getting up quickly, he runs from the park without looking back.
Loki's magic vanishes, his crown and armor fading away in the breeze as he turns to face you. The determination and rage in his eyes is gone, replaced with his own nervous fear. Your eyes remain locked on him as he slowly walks towards you.
"Y/N," he asks softly. You don't answer, your mind still processing the events from a few moments ago. "I'm sorry, I never meant to let my temper get so out of control but I just couldn't bear to listen to him talk about you for another moment," he explains and you nod in understanding.
He reaches out to take your hand, looking down as your finger interlock and sighs. "I told you not to be afraid of me and then I showed you exactly what kind of terrifying monster I really am. I never wanted to scare you, I only wanted him to leave you alone."
"You um..." you pause, biting you lip as you think. "You said you love me?"
"Loki," you close the distance between you and touch his cheek with your other hand. "I could never be scared of you." He looks at you slowly and you smile, he breaths a sigh of relief and smiles in return.
He laughs and relaxes completely, his arm wrapping around your waist. "Darling, I have loved you from the first time we spoke," he tells you. "You mean everything to mean."
You reach up and kiss him, his hands move down your back to hold you flush against his body. You look up, still pressed together and say, "I love you too. Thank you for keeping me safe from him."
You rest your head on his shoulder and he kisses the top of your head. "I promise, I will always protect you, you just need to tell me what is bothering you," he swears.
You smile when you look into his eyes and see how much he means it. He leans down to kiss you again and between breaths he whispers, "Mine."
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I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚
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texasbama · 1 day
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oh I AM WALKING
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Like……i just. Hm. Okay. So like
Season 8: Buck is exploring and having fun with his newly discovered sexuality. With tommy or whoever. Doesnt matter. We see Eddie dealing with the layers and complexity of his catholic guilt. Him starting to truly discover what it actually is HE wants for himself versus what he think’s supposed to want.
Buck throughout the season, while dating, is having fun and he’s happy but he starts to feel like there is just still something missing but he doesn’t know what it is. We see the boys stories parallel in that way for most of the season. S8 finale. Big emergency cliffhanger. Trapped dads vibes okay. Perhaps feelings come out. Buck realizes “oh shit. Im in love with Eddie” and tries to tell Eddie but then something bad happens. Bam! End of season.
Season 9: buck is reeling from this realization but like. They almost died so all emotions are on 10. They are in the hospital talking about everything but the elephant in the room. They talk about the will and what it means. Its heavy. Eddie telling Buck again that there is no one else for his son. No one else for HIM. “Its only ever been you Buck” and they are just sitting in this moment with so many words left unsaid. Both of them scared of the magnitude of their feelings.
The season continues as both of the boys try and navigate through what it means to be in love with your best friend. Eddie possibly working through having feelings for a man. Buck scared of losing what they have but also knowing that Eddie is it for him. Maybe mid season, they finally sit down and talk. Buck tells Eddie in so many words: I want you. I want this life we have made together with Chris. I love you. Eddie feels the same way. they both agree: we need to be sure, because once we go there, there is no going back. This could be a great thing for both of them but they have to be ready for it.
Now as 9B goes on, we see flirty Buddie. We see them basically together but not together ya know? They are happy taking their time cause they know the wait will be worth it. Now of course cause this is a primetime drama, some very traumatic/ dramatic will happen in the season finale. Now while nothing happens to the boys physically, whatever big ugly thing that happened, they just want to be with each other afterwards. They are each other’s home. We get a scene in the finale of them at Eddie’s house, on the couch. Eddie basically says that he doesn’t know if he will ever be 100% ready (more to do with his feelings about his own shortcomings) but that he is 100% sure about them. About Buck. He says I love you. Buck says it back. Then Buck proceeds to give his own love declaration. All these beautiful words about how Eddie has been what he has been looking for all this time. That this life is short (they understand that better than most) and he wants to spend whatever time he has left with Eddie and Chris. Cue first kiss. Cue thousands of fan girls dying. End season.
Season 10: now that they are together i feel like the lead up to an engagement could be fun. They are all happy and in love and they are sappy and Chris is making fun of them. Maybe on a call, or somewhere else Buck introduces Eddie as his fiancé and Eddie is like ????? And we get some fun spiraling. Eddie talks to Hen or something. “I would know if I was proposed to right? I mean we’ve only been together a few months???” And Hen is just like “yall have been Buck and Eddie for much longer than that” so that leads to Eddie asking Buck about it. Buck is like yea I said I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you remember??? And Eddie is like that isn’t a proposal! A proposal usually includes a question like WILL YOU MARRY ME? Again. We’re having fun with this. So Buck is all like okay. Eddie, will you marry me? eddie thinks he’s joking but he’s not. The moment goes from light and fun to intimate and emotional. We get some more “you’re it for me. I love you” Buck is choosing Eddie. Eddie is being chosen. Eddie is choosing to be happy for himself. Eddie says yes. BAM! LET THE WEDDING PLANNING COMMENCE.
(Now obviously this is just idiots ramblings. These are bones and they story would need meat and muscles to become fully fleshed out but. I just. Ya know. Had feelings)
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Text
"In the Warmth of Trust: A Promise Recalled" part 2
BANG CHAN X READER x stray kids
(part 1)
TYPE: ANGST, CHEATING, fluff
( i feel the ending is very cringe but this only came in my mind)
(also bang chan is an angel, this is just fictional)
When Chan broke up with you and you stopped eating or going out, your dream of mastering your studies turned to shit and you scored the lowest grade in your class. All you did was text Bang Chan and cry for him until he blocked you. When the results of your first semester came, you were broken. You couldn't believe that you let Chan's situation waste six months of your life and take away half of your dream college experience. You went to your grade professor and explained the whole situation. Luckily, your college had two batches a year: the December winter batch and the summer batch in June. Your professor asked you to reappear in the December batch, which was ideal. That winter batch changed your life. It's been seven years since Chan's situation. You just turned 30 and were actually preparing for the reunion of your undergraduate batch in Korea with Changbin. You and Changbin both became college professors: he was in the music department and you were a law professor.
Fast forward to the reunion. You met all of your friends, but then you heard Changbin yell, "OMG!" and you turned to see Bang Chan and Felix. You felt no emotions; you were just happy to see they were okay and doing well in life. Changbin dragged you to see your old group, and you instantly got deja vu when everyone in the group blocked you, including Changbin. When you saw Bang Chan and Felix, Felix looked at you in an apologetic way. He pushed Bang Chan and hugged you, saying, "I am sorry for everything. I didn't know you didn't dump Chan; it was Chan who dumped you." You just smiled at Lix and said, "What happened was in the past, let it go."
Before you could reply to Chan, Changbin, Hyunjin, and all of them started beating up Bang Chan and Felix. Both Chan and Felix left Korea and went back to Australia five months after you left Japan. They started their own company in Australia, and since they got busy, they lost touch with the whole group. All of you sat, and Felix asked you, "Y/N, you are the only one whose life is a mystery." All of them looked at you, and you said, "Really?"
Felix asked, "What happened after all that drama? I don't even know how you and the guys became friends again. I mean, when Changbin hyung called me to come for this meet up, he also mentioned how Bang Chan was the one who left you. NGL, I stopped talking to him for two months, but at the end, I had to talk since he was my partner." You smiled, "It's okay, Felix." Chan and Felix looked at you and asked, "So what were you up to in these years? You don't even have social media; you look different."
Y/N said, "Are you saying I got fat, Christopher Bang?" Changbin quickly said, "Hey, it's happy post-baby weight gain," and Bang Chan and Felix were shocked. Chan's disappointment was showing on his face with regrets. Felix got more excited and asked you about your life. You replied, "Well, when my college ended, I had to come back to Korea. After coming back, I was a guest lecturer and preparing for the assistant professor exams. While preparing, I suddenly bumped into Changbin, and he gave me the dirtiest look ever. I ignored him, and he made a comment, 'Look, cheater is back.' I was angry; I turned and hit him with my book and yelled at him, 'Me, cheater? Really, Changbin? Your friend was the one who broke up with me and at the same week got together with Sana, and I am a cheater?' That's when Changbin, Hyunjin, and I.N. all came to me and apologized. I never wanted to be friends with them again because they believed Chan, but everyone deserves a second chance, right?"
Felix said, "Hey, hey, you didn't tell us about your baby and your partner?" Y/N laughed, "Well, I met my 'husband' (the word 'husband' made Bang Chan's eyes more regretful) in Japan itself. I was roaming in the market street and spotted a familiar face. We both looked at each other, and you know, it was only six months after the breakup from Chan, and I got news that I had to repeat a semester. I was emotional, so I just looked at him and started crying." Felix interrupted, "Wait, wait, wait, so you knew him?" Y/N replied, "Yep, he was from our batch. He just stood there and comforted me."
Y/N: Well, after the meeting, I asked him not to talk to the gang about this since I wanted to talk to everyone directly. And since I was starting a new college, I didn't want people from the past to be back again. My husband and I talked to each other via FaceTime every day. He came to Japan for my graduation and asked me on a date.
Felix: Aww.
Y/N: But I said no. Haha, I actually didn't want to be in a relationship. I had zero trust. So, he waited for my answer for one year, and one day when I saw him taking care of me, I confessed to him. Since then, we are stronger than ever. We got married two years ago, and we just had a baby girl. My husband was the reason I improved my grades in college, and I believed in love again. He was my strength and pillar during my worst times. I thought I would never believe in happiness again.
Bang Chan was shattered. He couldn't even look at you in the eye because he realized you lost your friends and had to repeat a semester because of him, just because he wanted to fool around with Sana for a few weeks.
Felix asked Y/N, "Hey, show us a picture of your baby." Y/N showed him the picture, and he said, "OMG, she is so cute! She looks like a bunny." Lee Know yelled from the back, "Of course, she is cute; she is my daughter." Everyone looked back at Lee Know, who was holding your daughter, who was wearing a bear suit. Felix ran to Lee Know, and Lee Know thought felix was giving him a hug , but Felix just snatched your daughter from him and started taking selfies with her. While everyone was laughing, Chan went to Lee Know and said, "Thanks for taking care of Y/N." Lee Know said with a cold look, "You don't have to thank me." He made his way to the gang who were literally fighting each other to hold your and Lee Know's daughter. Bang Chan just stood there, watching you, Lee Know, and your daughter being the perfect family with your friends, and he found himself alone.
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smaller-comfort · 2 days
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So how do you imagine snail love darts and necrontyr working/combining? Cause I am interested~
Aksjdhsk ahahaha oh god okay here we go
(Tumblr crashed on me three times while I tried to write this, but I will not let that stop me from rambling at length about snail sex, speculative xenobiology, and various ways that necrontyr get to be fucked up little guys.)
Okay, now snails: they use the darts during courtship to deliver hormones that increase the likelihood of fertilizing their partner's eggs; after the several-hours-long mating dance, they'll exchange spermatophores. (Fun fact, the penis, copulatory canal, and dart sac are all located inside the genital pore, on the snail's head. Mating dances can involve a lot of biting.) Snails have bad aim, but it's not uncommon for both snails to end up getting stabbed during courtship.
Okay. Some assumptions/general thoughts: necrontyr do not have "dual-use" reproductive/waste elimination systems (inferred from Trazyn's hilarious disgust at the idea, but honestly it would be entirely believable for him to have completely lost any and all memories of necrontyr biology). Most higher order animals do (they're efficient!), but you start to see ones that don't when you get down to bugs and marine creatures, so that's what kicked off this train of thought.
I'm assuming also there is relatively little sexual dimorphism among necrontyr (not for any particular reason, although my understanding is that actual female necrons are a relatively new thing in wh40k lore, so that fits). And finally, everyone constantly dying of turbo cancer has led to a 'throw everything but the kitchen sink at it' evolutionary approach to reproductive strategies.
"Copulatory canal" is a deeply unsexy phrase, btw. So are most words we use when talking about sex, unfortunately. *sigh*
Okay, so, love darts. Pretty much only ever used by nobles/the military, because in the upper classes of society, sex isn't about reproduction, it's about reinforcing social hierarchies. And necrontyr social hierarchies tend to be inherently about violence in one way or another. Sexual dominance is generally more about who gets stabbed with the dart than it is about which penis is going where. (That's still a factor, but it's secondary, since genital configurations/functionality can be a bit of a wildcard.) Snails take an egalitarian approach to sex; necrontyr categorically do not. Both parties consenting to be darted would be considered weird and perverted.
Anyway. While many necrontyr do only have one set of functional reproductive organs by the time they reach adulthood (either because the other set was always vestigial or because it gets removed to reduce the spread of cancer), both sets are usually present in some fashion. Sterility would be fairly common, but medical technology is able to mitigate some of that; the lower classes, at least, need to be able to breed like rabbits to feed the war machine. Gender is mostly divorced from reproductive role by the time biotransference happens; in addition to male and female, there would have been at least one other normative gender, possibly two (to account for both null and multimodal genders). Gender fluidity would have been common and largely unremarkable for necrontyr. (It's still largely unremarkable for necrons, but it's not particularly common; they're mostly fixed with whatever gender they had at biotransference.)
The dart sac would be located in their mouths, under the tongue; it's meant to be ejected into the soft tissue of the mouth, but it's sharp enough to pierce the skin anywhere. (This does mean kissing can be Complicated, or at least somewhat subversive, depending on everyone's social standing.) Normally it gets broken down and absorbed by the recipient's body; pulling one out tends to be extremely uncomfortable/painful.
Kind of going off ancient greek/roman sexual mores here; it would be entirely unthinkable, for example, for Obyron to be the penetrative partner in either sense with Zahndrekh. (Then again, Zahndrekh is a shameless pervert.) Sex between two social equals is generally accompanied by an agreement- sometimes tacit, sometimes explicit- about not using the darts. Doing so would be an overt act of aggression. Often, to prevent any potential misunderstandings, they'll voluntarily empty their dart sacs ahead of time.
Forcing someone to empty their dart sac prior to sex is a pretty common form of sexual humiliation. When done voluntarily, it's a sign of submission or respect. (Darts usually have a refractory period of a few days, depending on the person's overall health. Single-chambered dart sacs are typical, but multiples aren't unheard of. Leads to occasional 'surprise! You thought I was submitting to you but now you're getting fucked instead' situations.)
The exact cocktail of hormones and neurochemicals it injects the other person with would vary somewhat between individuals, but can potentially vary widely between dynasties or social classes due to genetic/geographic/cultural differences. Some might include a mild paralytic agent; some sort of euphoric effect is also common. (This is all in addition to the original function, which, uh. Is to make the recipient more likely to get pregnant.) The shape of the dart varies in a similar fashion, ranging from a straight, smooth bone spike to something more elaborate with barbs or fluting.
(A bloody mouth can signify a lot of things to necrontyr- in addition to violence or illness, it's also inherently erotic. Necrons who remember this try very, very hard not to think about it when confronted with Flayed Ones.)
(Yenekh: *very sexily smearing his mouth with blood and draping himself all over Oltyx*
Crypteks have their own social hierarchies within their conclaves, but they're usually not as concerned with sexual politics as nobles and the military tend to be. Most people believe that crypteks all lace their love darts with poison, and the crypteks don't try to discourage that assumption. Some of them probably do, tbh.
Oltyx: *oblivious, can't stop thinking about how pretty Yenekh is*
The rest of the flayed ones: *still not sure why their king and his consort haven't fucked nasty in a pile of carrion yet. Maybe they need a bigger pile of carrion? Yes, that's probably it. They will take care of this for their beloved king.*)
Necrons, of course, don't have genitalia, but they can still stab each other with love dart analogues- this ranges from things like executive buffer override packages sent via interstitial channel, to actually physically jamming a spike of necrodermis into a neural input node. (From a purely aesthetic/romantic standpoint I also like the idea of love darts constructed out of crystallized core flux. The first time Zahndrekh does that to Obyron he goes into complete cascade failure and takes several hours to reboot.)
If Orikan and Trazyn did have sex pre-biotransference, one of them would have darted the other without permission (probably accidentally, being that they are both intensely nerdy losers and thus Bad At Sex by necrontyr standards), setting off a sixty-five million year hate-sex feud that neither of them can even remember the origin of. Orikan would've gone after Trazyn's mouth with a pair of pliers at some point; joke's on him, Trazyn's into that.
(Trazyn does have a collection of necrontyr love darts in the archives- all of them ones he collected personally when he was alive. He has no absolutely no memory of slutting it up back in the day, though, and probably doesn't even realize what they are. Sannet, unfortunately, does remember, and wishes he didn't. He has had to put up with so, so much over the years.)
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kaiyaamin · 2 days
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Hello! I know what I'm about to write here may seem strange, but in my head, it's just perfect. Imagine a scanario of Batmom×Batfamily where S/N(batmom) is a witch (like those in the Harry Potter universe), but she's always been afraid to tell her family because she feared they would start to hate her and that Bruce would ask for a divorce (and also because, as we know, there's a law that prohibits them from exposing this to not-witch). However, somehow they discover her secret, but in the end, everything turns out fine.
Kisses♡
Sooooo... I am a witch
Bruce Wayne x witch reader
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It was an average day, nothing out of the ordinary, the boys were looking through their old stuff planning to donate it. They decided to start in the attic which they didn't even know they had. But boy was it filled with a lot of stuff in labeled boxes.
"Hey look my old toy car, I forgot I had you well time to donate you", Jason said tossing the car in a pile of stuff he didn't want.
"Hey guys look what I found", Tim said picking up a box with a do not open painted on the top of the box.
Damian took the box, "I think we're not supposed to open it, Oh well". He hurriedly opened the box, and the other boys peered their heads over Damian to see what was in the box.
Surprisingly when they opened it they saw a book, some photos, and other weird things. It all looks so cool like from a movie, Dick slowly took some photos out scrutinizing it.
"Guys look at this", Dick said holding out the photo in front of his brother's face.
"That girl she looks familiar", Jason said reaching out for the photo it was of a girl behind a tree wherein a green and black color robe.
"guys, that's Mom, see the girl has the same birthmark as Mom", Tim said pointing at the girl and the picture of his mom he had taken on his phone.
The boys hurriedly raced down the attic trying to find their mother. Damian had the box in his hand while Tim had the picture. They raced down the stairs almost knocking into Alfred in the process. Finally, they saw their mother in the living room watching one of her favorite movies Princess Diaries.
Y/n heard the sound of footsteps looking in the direction of the noise. She looked at what Tim was holding, and immediately Y/n got up and took the picture out of his hand. " where did you get this" Y/n demanded taking the other things from the other boy's hands.
"Mom, what is this? what have you been hiding? Dick said pointing at the picture. Mom, it's okay you can trust us", Jason said while nudging Damian to go and hug Y/n.
" I am a Witch, I am from Hogwarts where I learned to train and use my power. But not too long ago I fell in love with your father hiding the secret I was a witch, for I was prohibited from telling any non-witch about my powers. So I hid all my stuff in an attic before we got Dick, but you kids must have found it".
"so father still doesn't know", Dick said still trying to process this story. Y/n shook her head no. "You have to tell him Ummi", Damian said. "your right, I will tell him right when he gets home", Y/n said confidently.
Soon Bruce came home, greeting all his children before going upstairs to his and Y/n's room. There he saw Y/n sitting on the bed looking straight at him not a single emotion on her face.
Before Bruce could talk, Y/n started to cry heavily, slumping her shoulders, and looking away from Bruce. Bruce quickly rushed over to her scooping her up in a hug and whispering soothing things in her ear trying to calm her down.
"my pretty girl, what's wrong?", Bruce said continuing to massage Y/n's back. "Bruce, I have something to tell...I am a witch", Y/n didn't wait to see his reaction before continuing "You are probably mad at me but I understand so if you want a divorce then I am fine with it", Y/n said so fast it was hard for Bruce to even comprehend.
"Y/n were not having a divorce, I love you too much for that, no matter if you kept a secret you probably had your reasons and I am not mad", Bruce said in a reassuring tone. Bruce stood up holding Y/n close to him swaying them side to side and humming a beat. Y/n started talking about her past as a witch telling everything to Bruce. She felt so happy to finally tell Bruce after so long, feeling so much better.
"So does that mean since I have powers I can fight crime like you", Y/n said with her best puppy dog eyes. Fuck, it was so hard for Bruce to resist those puppy dogs eyes. "Fine", Bruce said letting out a groan and seeing Y/n jump up and down clapping her hands, smiling widely at Bruce.
Question for the readers: what is your house in Harry Potter?
mine is a Slytherin
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your-absent-father · 3 days
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Children in writing: my personal pet peeves
Okay, some might know that I work as an elementary school aid, done it on and off since I was 19, so I have the credits lol. Last december I even got my trade school papers for it. I preface this this way bwcause I have worked with shitton of kids, and will in a future. My background also means that I am very quick to notice when people don't interact with kids that much.
Even the savant syndrome kid is still a kid
One thing that annoys the hell out of me is when the 8 year old smart kid character acts like a 32 year old with all the emotional cababilities it entails. Yes, some kids have an higher intelligence, emotional or otherwise, but in the core of them, they are a kid. They get temper tantrums, they are in awe of new discoveries, they love to play in their own way.
For example, the class I'm in now, we have a kid I will call James. James is raised by his grandparents and it shows in everything he does. He is an old soul, always getting striaght As and almost helping the adults in conflicts. James also giggles as I race with him during recess, he sulks like a kid after not getting what he wanted and laughs really hard at fart jokes. He is 8 even if he has an emotional intelligence of an older kid.
Children are sponges, in bad and good
Speaking of James, he is a great example of children being sponges. This 8 year old, he uses terms like "gosh darn it" or "welp, it is what it is", terms I could see his farmer grandpa using. When he is stressed, he poses like a 73 year old looking at a broken tracktor. You can see his grandpa in him clearly.
I want to say it because a lot of people only write like "I am bad because my dad was bad" characters, even though it isn't that simple moat of the time, and children being sponges could be used in so many different ways, and not just bad.
Kids knowing big words doesn't always mean they are smart
This adds into the "kids are sponges" segment. Lot of kids, especially now, pick up different words, some very difficult, but they themselves don't know what they mean. Just today I had to explain what a dictator meant to a kid talking about North Korea. (That is an other thing too I like to add: kids try to explain with their own understandkng of the world what things they don't understand are)
Children's are adults in progress
Thus is a thing that peeves me the most of all, because a lot of people think children are thing entire different entity than adults. I like to explain it in videogame logic, like as a kid you are doing the first levels and progressing trough. You still the same character at the core of it, you just leveled up and got new tricks up your sleeve. Children are humans, they aren't that difficult to comprehend.
kids with disabilities have presonalities
Omg I am such a passionate person towards this, especially because I am specialized in special ed. It annoys me in no end when a special ed kid's presonality is "ehh they are disabled?". Every single special ed kid I have been with have different personalities and likes and dislikes, if they can't show it to you themselves. I don't think I have met two disabled kids (nor adults) with same personalities, even if they have exact same disability.
In the class I am in now, James's best friend is this kid named Jackie. I don't know Jackie's diagnosis but she can't walk straight, and uses multiple walking aids when her legs hurt too bad. She can't talk very well, struggling with her speak. Still, those things weren't the first thing I'd use to describe her. I'd describe her as a dramaqueen, always ready to complain about something, i'd describe her as a sporty, always running after her friends, even if she is much slower than others. I'd describe her as kindhearted, and clingy as she is always ready for a hug. Her disability is n intergal part of her but not everything.
I could complain about this all day. I have worked with kids and adults with disabilities and they have all been do different from each other (like able bodied people). Maybe another post lol.
Okay rant over.
Tldr: Chldren are humans too. Lol
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seabird-bard · 2 days
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about to do a luca wordvomit sorry sorry
i just saw someone saying that luca was "queerbaiting" or like. an example of writers/executives being to afraid to write queer romance, and while that may or may not be true (given the context, like how maybe a year after that film came out those pixar employees wrote that one letter) i actually think that luca is impressive and impactful because it isn't a romance-- it exists within a pre-romance, and because of that, it hits that much harder.
also they aren't canon just because kenna jean harris made fanart of them but that's another conversation. back to my actual point:
viewing luca through a queer lens, there is SO much to be found that is immensely relatable to the queer experience-- primarily, what it's like to grow up gay. you have the concerned, fearful mother; you have the supportive relative and ally friend; the bullies, the mentor-- and more importantly, you have that one person that absolutely changed everything.
i'm not going to say that this is a universal experience-- everyone's journey is different. but i am going to say that this is something that is incredibly common, even more so within queer media-- and luca is just another example of this. no doubt about it-- alberto's presence in the film is one that is both vital to the plot and to the allegory that the story presents.
it's almost common to joke about life-ruining/world-altering homoerotic friendships in online queer spaces. that's probably why the film was so relatable to a lot of queer people, myself included. not only that, but the way the characters are written-- when i joke about this film being the pixar fish version of "call me by your name" i'm not actually all-the-way kidding. this film, i feel, is so intertwined with queerness and the experience of growing up queer that it's really difficult to look at it and go, "okay, but they're not gay."
THAT BEING SAID. they shouldn't have been canonized. like, ever. that would have ruined the allegory luca presents. purposeful or not, whether the writers really did want to make them a thing, they shouldn't have been. i'm really glad they're not.
i'm not saying that every queer story ends in heartbreak. but i am saying that it's common for those pre-teen/teenaged formative experiences-- the ones where you're young and inexperienced and unsure because what if dad found out? or mom? those stories, those connections, they are almost bound to break your heart.
luca paints a picture of a story just like that. luca has a deep fascination for something that's forbidden. he takes a chance, befriends someone-- alberto, who's already crossed over into this other land-- and falls in love with all of it. he goes to great lengths to hide this from his parents. when they find out, they try to send him away to a place that will try to permanently change him and his perception of what he actually wants, so he decides to run away with this other, braver person instead.
they go to a town that's unwelcoming to a fatal extent. they have to stay hidden to survive. they make a friend-- but they can't even trust her, at first, since her father is one of the people that wants their kind dead. i could go on and on and on-- the point is, this all reads queer. allegorically, or within the film itself.
and the ending, the goodbye-- it's bittersweet, because this is something they're not ever going to be able to replicate. this has changed all of the characters, internally, in every way-- but especially the main two. it always gets me choked up, because i know that feeling. and a lot of other queer people do, too.
basically, they're not REALLY gay, but aren't they? when you watch luca as a queer film, everything gets so much worse, because the "what-could-have-been," or even the "what-could-be" becomes so glaringly obvious and beautifully awful. and it's GREAT. why would i want them to be boyfriends within the story itself, when what we're presented with already is so much more complicated and gut-wrenching, especially when you contextualize it with the time period? why would i want fanon luberto to be canon when canon luberto already fucking slaps?
tldr: luca and alberto are only kind of gay. the vague platonic-ness of the nature of their relationship plays to the strengths of the story itself. i am absolutely obsessed with this film
sorry if some of this is a little incoherent i refuse to proofread byebye
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whump-on-a-string · 4 months
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Guy's been alone in his lil vampire house for about 4 decades too long and forgot how to have a normal conversation. He just yoinks people off the street for a little dinner party bc he doesn't know how else to go about it. Poor bastard just wants some friends.
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I like my shenanigans with a bit of levity.
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This week on "CJ needs to gush about DAO": Morrigan's dark ritual.
I adore Origins because depending on how serious you take roleplay, every decision you make is a thread that leads back to your origin, and in this case of the ritual, who you choose to romance can have a major impact on how you handle this choice.
For context, my canon run is with a female Tabris who romances Alistair and keeps him as a Grey Warden, and is close friends with Morrigan. It's more in character for my Tabris to reject Morrigan's ritual and not even bring it up to Alistair, which would result in her leaving him behind while she makes the ultimate sacrifice in killing the archdemon... however, agreeing to convince Alistair to do the ritual with Morrigan is the only choice in the entire game where I break roleplay because I'm selfish and weak and I want Tabris to live.
I have a lot of strong feelings about the ritual, like it hurts me. It makes me want to chew on furniture. I can talk about it until I can talk no more. I so badly want to be strong enough to remain in character and reject the ritual.
Let me explain: Tabris survives an origin that deals with sexual assault. She gets kidnapped on her wedding day, she watches the other kidnapped women and her husband get murdered, and then is too late to save Shianni from being assaulted... and Tabris carries that trauma with her throughout the entire game.
If the way to save her life is to ask the two most important people she cares about; one being her lover and the other being her best friend; who she knows hate each other, to have dubiously consensual sex in order to make a baby to absorb the old god soul... she's saying no. The last thing Tabris would ever do is put someone into a sexual situation where consent is at all dubious after what she saw happen to Shianni and nearly happened to herself. She'd rather die than force that upon Alistair and Morrigan.
That's what I mean when I say origin affects everything; I know some will side eye that with "Really? Your warden would rather die than let Alistair sleep with another woman? It's one time, and Alistair agrees to it, so no one needs to die?"
Let me be clear in saying this isn't a "Morrigan slept with my man" issue. Sure, that part's awkward and it sucks, but that's not even breaking water tension, let alone diving into the deep waters to the core of the issue.
For my Tabris, this is about betrayal, consent, and accepting fate.
The person offering Tabris this deal is someone she thought of as a trusted friend who has actually been lying to her the entire time. It doesn't matter what Morrigan's intentions are now or if she genuinely wants to save the wardens. She knew from the beginning why Flemeth sent her with them, she admits as much. She knew a warden would need to make the ultimate sacrifice and then leveraged that to get what she wants. Morrigan waited until the night before, when Alistair and the warden learn one of them has to die to defeat the archdemon, and took advantage of the high running emotions and possibly the fear of dying to make the warden agree to her ritual.
At least, that's how my Tabris interprets this confrontation. She feels betrayed by someone she came to love like a sister and went out of her way to help Morrigan with her mother upon learning what's in Flemeth's grimoire. And then that someone tells her no one needs to die, she just needs to convince Alistair to sleep with her... which is a huge fucking problem.
The Alistair and Tabris romance is slow; it took a long time for either of them to be comfortable with being emotionally vulnerable and trusting each other with basic intimacy, let alone sex. Tabris is mortified at the idea of putting Alistair in this situation. Not only would it feel like a betrayal on her part to ask that of him, but she knows the last thing Alistair ever wants to do is father a bastard who then goes on to grow up without him. How could she possibly ask him to do that?
Then you consider that ritual or no, there isn't a guarantee that they'll survive anyway. Say they do the ritual and Tabris dies anyway; she made Alistair sleep with Morrigan in order to save her and then she died anyway. Or if Alistair dies then Tabris gets to live with the fact that the last person Alistair was with was a woman he hates because she asked that of him… and either way, Morrigan gets to walk away with what she wanted.
Tabris led the group, and she's accepted that if Riordan dies [which he does] then she'll be the one to make the sacrifice, even if it means breaking both hers and Alistair's heart.... except she doesn't because I'm a coward who doesn't want to lose her because my worldstate isn't good without her in it but I also refuse to lose Alistair so I just pretend it plays out differently in my head it's fine-
But... that's how I play Tabris and view the situation. My friend @pi-creates and I have discussed the dark ritual at length. While I play a Tabris who romances Alistair, Pi plays a Mahariel who romances Morrigan, so we have vastly different interpretations of the ritual itself and Morrigan's intentions.
Which yeah, it makes total sense that someone who romanced Morrigan with a different origin, and has the option to do the ritual with her rather than asking someone else to do it, wouldn't see this the way I do.
To quote Pi: "Playing as a male warden in the Morrigan romance makes the whole situation feel different, and maybe it’s because she’s presenting it differently due to the emotional connection, but it feels more like she’s opening up about her initial instructions (that she had been given by Flemeth) and offering a solution to avoid the possibility of death. And for my Mahariel, the constant threat of sudden death has haunted him from the start – he caught the blight and was ripped away from his clan (something he did not want to do in the slightest), got forced into a Grey Warden ritual that could kill him, was forced into a battle that could kill him, going on this whole quest that he never wanted but has now become responsible for regardless of his thoughts on the matter… the dark ritual may be one of the few moments where he is presented with an option to decide if he wants to walk into certain death, or take actions of his own volition to stop it.
"The idea of the ritual still feels like a dodgy thing to do since the ultimate outcome is unknown at that point, he’s taking Morrigan at her word that it will save the warden and that this child would be unharmed, just with an old god soul that she isn’t exactly clear on why she wants that and is determined to runaway immediately after the battle to secure it properly. It could be interpreted that it’s purely a preservation thing, but I’m biased to wanting Morrigan's intentions to not be power based.
"But also, taking part in the ritual isn’t as outlandish for my warden since he and Morrigan have already been involved in an intimate relationship. It’s the future of the ritual that is scarier – the idea of this old-god baby, and the idea of Morrigan insisting that she’s leaving afterwards when Mahariel and her have a loving relationship. He’s hurting, but he doesn’t want to die, he doesn’t want Alistair to die, he doesn’t want Morrigan to leave, he definitely doesn’t want pregnant Morrigan to leave on her own… it’s complicated, but for completely different reasons."
And I find that fascinating. I want to know how other players approach this part of DAO, what origins they play, and who they romanced. Seriously, this is an invitation to anyone reading to share their thoughts.
What about a warden who doesn't even have Alistair in their party because they made Loghain a warden? Is there anyone out there who has Loghain do the ritual with Morrigan and why? What about male wardens who don't romance her? Do you choose to do it with her anyway, or do you ask Alistair or Loghain to do it? Do you tell Morrigan to fuck off with the ritual? Why? Who makes the ultimate sacrifice in that case? And what about Morrigan herself? How do you interpret her intentions/motivations? I want to know.
I'm telling you, this is a discussion that gets me excited, as most discussions about DAO do.
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ladyofthelake · 4 months
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Nothing more magical and heartbreaking than building to the Merlin finale on Christmas Eve
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ferromagnetiic · 4 months
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【 KID'S BIRTHDAY 2024. 】
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          It is his birthday.
     The party hasn't even started and he is already drinking.
     He's ready to get wrecked and remember absolutely none of it tomorrow.
If you catch him when he's pissed enough, he might even be a little bit less horrible to you. Or maybe he'll be even more aggressive. Depends on how the night goes.
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catastrxblues · 8 months
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hi so i just finished bridge to terabithia and now i’m unwell and my eyes are red because i’ve been crying before i’d even reached 20 minutes of it for i actually knew what was going to happen and by the time i reached an hour something something i just straight up sobbing screaming into my pillow. and now it’s 12 am and i’m still thinking about them. because god, look at them, how they were, the little world they lived in, wouldn’t you just love that, to run away, to escape, to grasp that childhood naivety and innocence that you lost a long time ago, to feel the sun in your skin and the air in your lungs and to paint fantasies and laugh and play and run hidden away from the world and find an old run down tree house and decided to make it your own little shelter and pin up canvases on the worn wood and paint and let your creativity goes wild and have someone understand you and gets you and do it with you, and wouldn’t you just love to have something so constant, so sincere, so genuine, so pure, so real, that there wasn’t anything else. if i knew i was going to cry this much, if i knew how much space this movie would make in my life, i wouldn’t have started this movie tonight. i would have been in peace on the floor of my room, not realizing how badly i actually want something like this even though i would never unironically admit this to anyone in my life or even myself when i’m outside of the familiar place of my mind, for that matters
#bridge to terabithia#how am i supposed to recover#i wasn’t planning to write a paragraph about it but yeah i kinda love this movie i guess#i needed a good cry and the universe didn’t stop me from choosing this movie i don’t know if that’s nice or simply mean#i was going to watch la la land after this but that’s not gonna happen now#i’m not reading back what i wrote otherwise i would just delete it because i’d think this movie deserves better more coherent thoughts#and i’d say that i’d just rewrite it tomorrow but then i wouldn’t#because nothing would ever beat the “everything i create has to be great or nothing” in me#and i never am proud of what i made unless it’s supposedly only for my viewing#so i actually don’t know if what i just wrote make sense but yeah#my eyes feel so weird right now#also the ending was definitely up to interpretations!! (spoiler alert* just in case)#i myself personally like to believe he dreamed up the last 30 minutes of it and didn’t even go to the museum#and so he’ll just wake up definitely shocked but then still find leslie in her house who was just about to meet him so they could go!!#and because the rope was cut off by the lightning from last night they decide to build the bridge so everyone could cross safe and sound!!#i like my ending better they really should change it#but no all and all the end was really beautiful#even though it took me maybe even an hour to get through it because i keep sobbing and have to repeat over and over to hear what they said#yeah okay anyways sorry for the rant<3#i’m not sure what this is#but glad i could get it off my chest#let’s see how to tag how to tag#movies#just#childhood#whatever <3#nadirants
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malewifehenrycooldown · 5 months
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yeah yeah i got recommended that Henry Cooldown analysis video whatever. i am still not over people comparing Henry to a medieval knight, NOT even taking the time to unpack that said mental image of a knight is 'mostly' associated with the British Monarchy*, an extension of its Empire that *checks notes* did a long list of atrocities like imperialism and colonialism, and also (multiple) genocides.
Henry is NOT British, he is Irish. Although considering the history of Ireland and how poorly the British Empire has treated them (amongst SO MANY OTHER COUNTRIES AND DIASPORAS), yeah it's NOT surprising that an Irish man like Henry is essentially forced to adopt quote on quote 'British sensibilities' to 'survive'. <- intentional imagery or not, the implications are not lost on me.
Like okay, calling out the comparison is cool but it sure would be nice if people went further to unpack what that means and implies in the long term. you know, like ACTUAL CRITICAL ANALYSIS?!
#I COULD do a whole essay about this. but i don't have the spoons to do so.#this is were i drop the big ball of information about me because fun fact! I am IRISH AND SCOTTISH. AND GREEK. so like.#so yeah i REALLY don't like the british#i hope in alternate universe i make youtube video essays about no more heroes and successfully argue how its about inter-generational traum#shallow rambles#nomoreposting#technically I was quite surprised by being recommended it. but looking at the comments i realised that their interpretation#is like the buy the books obvious surface level analysis of henry's character. not actually. thinking about the deeper things#behind his character. like. are we really going to ignore how his memories were wiped when he was adopted? okay.#to me henry is an example of someone finally confronting their trauma. how they cope is a whole other thing but henry is second#to jeane (the sister) that actually takes the time to confront the trauma although unfortunately this is mostly implied off-screen#travis BARELY acknowledges how fucked up it was for him and his siblings to be split apart and raised by different families#this got really fucking personal and i don't think anyone has actually cared enough to even consider the historical subtext#of these characters but that's just my take.#also i'm not fucking listening to a man explain to me what henry is. you know in a filmbro way. i have my own brain and interpretation and#that is all that matters to me. if you liked the guys video that's fine but honestly i am just not that interested in the essay.#you like henry for the rivalry trope. I like henry for other reasons that are open ended. we are NOT the same.#btw not EVERYTHING is about kill the past. it feels so reductive to ONLY analyse suda's work as a connected series#because it implies each one can't stand on their own merits!! that's NOT good analysis!! his work can stand on their own individually!#*about the whole knight and british monarchy thing there are other knights in other countries but unfortunately we only#think about knights in a VERY british-centric way. just thought to bring that up.#no i wont make a video essay about any of this i value my anonymity.#no i won't apologise for waking up and choosing violence today
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