#well i have now officially thought about this Too Much ahahaha

[smaller-comfort]

So how do you imagine snail love darts and necrontyr working/combining? Cause I am interested~

Aksjdhsk ahahaha oh god okay here we go

(Tumblr crashed on me three times while I tried to write this, but I will not let that stop me from rambling at length about snail sex, speculative xenobiology, and various ways that necrontyr get to be fucked up little guys.)

Okay, now snails: they use the darts during courtship to deliver hormones that increase the likelihood of fertilizing their partner's eggs; after the several-hours-long mating dance, they'll exchange spermatophores. (Fun fact, the penis, copulatory canal, and dart sac are all located inside the genital pore, on the snail's head. Mating dances can involve a lot of biting.) Snails have bad aim, but it's not uncommon for both snails to end up getting stabbed during courtship.

Okay. Some assumptions/general thoughts: necrontyr do not have "dual-use" reproductive/waste elimination systems (inferred from Trazyn's hilarious disgust at the idea, but honestly it would be entirely believable for him to have completely lost any and all memories of necrontyr biology). Most higher order animals do (they're efficient!), but you start to see ones that don't when you get down to bugs and marine creatures, so that's what kicked off this train of thought.

I'm assuming also there is relatively little sexual dimorphism among necrontyr (not for any particular reason, although my understanding is that actual female necrons are a relatively new thing in wh40k lore, so that fits). And finally, everyone constantly dying of turbo cancer has led to a 'throw everything but the kitchen sink at it' evolutionary approach to reproductive strategies.

"Copulatory canal" is a deeply unsexy phrase, btw. So are most words we use when talking about sex, unfortunately. *sigh*

Okay, so, love darts. Pretty much only ever used by nobles/the military, because in the upper classes of society, sex isn't about reproduction, it's about reinforcing social hierarchies. And necrontyr social hierarchies tend to be inherently about violence in one way or another. Sexual dominance is generally more about who gets stabbed with the dart than it is about which penis is going where. (That's still a factor, but it's secondary, since genital configurations/functionality can be a bit of a wildcard.) Snails take an egalitarian approach to sex; necrontyr categorically do not. Both parties consenting to be darted would be considered weird and perverted.

Anyway. While many necrontyr do only have one set of functional reproductive organs by the time they reach adulthood (either because the other set was always vestigial or because it gets removed to reduce the spread of cancer), both sets are usually present in some fashion. Sterility would be fairly common, but medical technology is able to mitigate some of that; the lower classes, at least, need to be able to breed like rabbits to feed the war machine. Gender is mostly divorced from reproductive role by the time biotransference happens; in addition to male and female, there would have been at least one other normative gender, possibly two (to account for both null and multimodal genders). Gender fluidity would have been common and largely unremarkable for necrontyr. (It's still largely unremarkable for necrons, but it's not particularly common; they're mostly fixed with whatever gender they had at biotransference.)

The dart sac would be located in their mouths, under the tongue; it's meant to be ejected into the soft tissue of the mouth, but it's sharp enough to pierce the skin anywhere. (This does mean kissing can be Complicated, or at least somewhat subversive, depending on everyone's social standing.) Normally it gets broken down and absorbed by the recipient's body; pulling one out tends to be extremely uncomfortable/painful.

Kind of going off ancient greek/roman sexual mores here; it would be entirely unthinkable, for example, for Obyron to be the penetrative partner in either sense with Zahndrekh. (Then again, Zahndrekh is a shameless pervert.) Sex between two social equals is generally accompanied by an agreement- sometimes tacit, sometimes explicit- about not using the darts. Doing so would be an overt act of aggression. Often, to prevent any potential misunderstandings, they'll voluntarily empty their dart sacs ahead of time.

Forcing someone to empty their dart sac prior to sex is a pretty common form of sexual humiliation. When done voluntarily, it's a sign of submission or respect. (Darts usually have a refractory period of a few days, depending on the person's overall health. Single-chambered dart sacs are typical, but multiples aren't unheard of. Leads to occasional 'surprise! You thought I was submitting to you but now you're getting fucked instead' situations.)

The exact cocktail of hormones and neurochemicals it injects the other person with would vary somewhat between individuals, but can potentially vary widely between dynasties or social classes due to genetic/geographic/cultural differences. Some might include a mild paralytic agent; some sort of euphoric effect is also common. (This is all in addition to the original function, which, uh. Is to make the recipient more likely to get pregnant.) The shape of the dart varies in a similar fashion, ranging from a straight, smooth bone spike to something more elaborate with barbs or fluting.

(A bloody mouth can signify a lot of things to necrontyr- in addition to violence or illness, it's also inherently erotic. Necrons who remember this try very, very hard not to think about it when confronted with Flayed Ones.)

(Yenekh: *very sexily smearing his mouth with blood and draping himself all over Oltyx*

Crypteks have their own social hierarchies within their conclaves, but they're usually not as concerned with sexual politics as nobles and the military tend to be. Most people believe that crypteks all lace their love darts with poison, and the crypteks don't try to discourage that assumption. Some of them probably do, tbh.

Oltyx: *oblivious, can't stop thinking about how pretty Yenekh is*

The rest of the flayed ones: *still not sure why their king and his consort haven't fucked nasty in a pile of carrion yet. Maybe they need a bigger pile of carrion? Yes, that's probably it. They will take care of this for their beloved king.*)

Necrons, of course, don't have genitalia, but they can still stab each other with love dart analogues- this ranges from things like executive buffer override packages sent via interstitial channel, to actually physically jamming a spike of necrodermis into a neural input node. (From a purely aesthetic/romantic standpoint I also like the idea of love darts constructed out of crystallized core flux. The first time Zahndrekh does that to Obyron he goes into complete cascade failure and takes several hours to reboot.)

If Orikan and Trazyn did have sex pre-biotransference, one of them would have darted the other without permission (probably accidentally, being that they are both intensely nerdy losers and thus Bad At Sex by necrontyr standards), setting off a sixty-five million year hate-sex feud that neither of them can even remember the origin of. Orikan would've gone after Trazyn's mouth with a pair of pliers at some point; joke's on him, Trazyn's into that.

(Trazyn does have a collection of necrontyr love darts in the archives- all of them ones he collected personally when he was alive. He has no absolutely no memory of slutting it up back in the day, though, and probably doesn't even realize what they are. Sannet, unfortunately, does remember, and wishes he didn't. He has had to put up with so, so much over the years.)

#nattering #warhams #well i have now officially thought about this Too Much ahahaha #this is what i get for trying to be funny; now everything's gotten slightly out of hand #am i even going to use any of these ideas? who knows. they are free to a good home

[a-luran]

Ok so senditothemoonn put Ireland in Mac's place and England in Dee's in that Always Sunny meme redraw, so naturally my first thought was the episode 'The Gang Finds A Dumpster Baby' (Can't remember if Wales or N.Ireland is in Frank's spot, but I can't really imagine Wales telling them to 'put it back' soooo...)

ahahaha I haven't watched that season in ages!

@senditothemoonn did an absolutely stellar job with their art (and just in case someone's missed it you can find it here. Tequila in sunscreen bottles doon at Troon Beach at the Jersey Shore for all. It always gives me a good laugh.)

as for elaborating on my own Always Sunny AU, I can't stay it sticks to canon all that much!

Arthur is in practice the owner, having inherited the pub from his former boss after he died childless. In Arthur's opinion it has been well-earned after years of backbreaking labour trying to keep the business afloat while the old man fucked off with a new sweetheart every other weekend. Was Arthur serving drinks before he was legally sound to do so? perhaps. And are some most of the supply dealings and receipts stamped with a forged signature? maybe so. The point is that the pub is in the black for the first time in it's entire 100-year-existance and Arthur is not above murder to keep it that way.

Daffyd is his first official hire and just brutally slow at his job. It's naw like he'd ever asked for a cocktail but he takes pint pouring with a seriousness it was never intended to have. He also has the vexing (to Arthur) need to make conversation with everyone and their mother and no, he will not interrupt any patron's riveting account on today's weather just because you're wanting to order. He's also been known to 'lose count' of pints and hand out a half on account of a not-even-particularly-well-crafted sob story. It drives Arthur up a wall.

Alasdair has been a regular for so long Arthur can't quite remember when he walked in for his first drink. There's even a good chance he might have been coming in long before Arthur even started pouring them. He was some kind of boxer,— or sailor, or soldier, or something, fat chance of anyone finding out— allegedly, and now serves as their handy man and bouncer. He seems to know anyone and everything and is also tragically farsighted (or perhaps just suffering from the effects of one too may concussions, and more than a little daltonic). He refuses to get glasses or hear anything about it. In any case he is built like a brick shithouse and does his job well so Arthur leaves him to it. (Favouritism? in this pub?? it's more likely than you think.)

Sean and Ross are in theory the co-owners. As highlighted, theory is a key word. They are the root of most of the pub's issues but more often than not also the solution, and the regulars love them. Cannae impress that onto you enough, they are the customer's darlings, their good time boys. They are the lads (said with an affectionate chuckle).

Every time Ross comes into the back office with a sheepish smile and lacking his worst half Arthur knows that something's gone amuck and it takes his misanthropic self every fibre of his being not to cry.

And so it goes! Welcome to O'Connor's, have a seat and have a pint and gnore the shouting coming from the back office. Don't mind the sheep of the towering man carrying it out on his shoulders.

(The running gag much like Charlie and Frank in the og Always Sunny are the hints that they are all related, only it's in increasingly obscure ways. They're cousins, then second cousins, then third cousins once removed. Then Sean's mammy was Arthur's cousin's godmother, who in in turn was Alasdair classmate two years down. And so on and so on, the way people find connections with each other when yous all come from small towns that grew exponentially over a couple of decades.)

#hws uk bros #it's always sunny AU #hws england #hws wales #hws ireland #hws scotland #hws northern ireland #Alasdair Campbell #Arthur Kirkland #Daffyd Owens #Sean O'Cléirigh #Ross O'Cleary #found dysfunctional family my beloved #Arthur and Alasdair do the Devil’s tango in the supply closet #Ross is scarred forever #the supply closet is disgusting and a disgrace and an affront to civility #just like them

[your-highnessmarvel]

Always You

Requested by Anonymous: Do you think you could do a prompt where the reader is 20 years younger than Chris and of course happy ending, but he thinks he’s taking away her prime years when he really isn’t and there’s a temporary break before they get back together. (Non famous reader, met at a bar?) please and thank you!

AN: i was watching a star is born when i made this ahahaha so meeting in a bar is thematic here.

Warnings: language

*gif not mine

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MASTERLIST

The door of the cab banged shut and you walked away without a last glance, your boots scuffing the gravel. You’d ended in some shit butt town off the border of Boston, and now you needed a drink. The guy you’d been seeing had just dumped you because “things were moving too fast”, and now you needed to drown your anger in some gin. 

The said bar - Jack’s Watering Hole - had a sign hanging off one hinge at the door that read “WE CARD ALL MINORS” and a LED sign flashing ladies night. Well, just your luck. 

This was not how you planned to spend your twentieth birthday night. 

The door opened and out came a draft of cigarette smoke and bad breath. You could barely see when you walked in, what with the low lighting and cloud of smoke curling around your leather jacket. Some guy at the bar turned on his rusty stool to stare at you, belly jutted out under a crumby grey wife-beater. 

There were two women in their thirties standing on six-inch heels by a shitty arcade game, giggling, swaying to the intrinsic music. A few lonely birds had flocked on the other side of the bar, staring into their beers. And a fellow with a Red Sox cap sitting alone in a booth, trying really hard not to stare at you but ultimately failing. 

You walked to the bar and ordered straight fucking gin because this was a shit night. 

“And give me whatever that guy sitting in the booth is having,” you added, watching as the bartender - who wore a sleeveless plaid - looked over your shoulder and shrugged. 

You clicked your nails on the bar as you waited, considering if what you were about to do was a good idea or the dumbest. Who knows? Serial killers are just about around every corner these days.

You took your gin and the stranger’s Budweiser - really? - and handed the bartender his money. You took a breath of good luck and twirled on your heel, headed towards the stranger.

He stared at you with open astonishment as you sat down right in front of him, smiling awkwardly, offering him his beer.

“Rough night?” you opened, mentally stabbing yourself for choosing such a cliche line. 

He smiled. Huffed. He had a full, brown beard that shadowed the bottom half of his jaw. A straight nose. Blue eyes. Handsome. What the hell was a J-Krew model doing in this asscrack of a town, in this bum fuck bar?

“Trying to be unnoticeable,” he said, grabbing the beer you offered him. 

You took of sip of gin. “Can’t really go unnoticed when you look like that,” you confessed. Maybe it was your ex’s betrayal or the lonely one hundred dollars sitting in your bank account or your left tire blowing out, but whatever it was that was giving you this much confidence, you loved it. 

“Look like what?” he asked. He tugged, nervously, at the seam of his black sweater sleeve. 

“Like a god,” you mumbled, dipping your lips into your drink.

“Well,” he laughed, “that’s officially the first time I’ve heard someone refer to me as a god.”

His smile was addicting. His laugh was close to dying over. 

You felt the pinch of attraction in your belly. “What do they refer to you as, then?”

He mimicked being in deep thought. “Hunk,” he said, pointing the tip of his beer at you. “Hollywood’s hottest single.”

Your face went hot. Flames were literally burning under your flesh. 

Hollywood?

“What?”

He smiled knowingly. 

“What?”

You scanned him briefly. He had the military-cut-out body type. The clear as a baby’s butt skin. The clothes with tags like Lacoste and Levi. 

Oh. 

Oh God.

“You’re...” you breathed out, finally putting two and two together. “My God. Chris fucking Evans.”

He threw his head back and laughed. “That’s a hell of an introduction,” he laughed. Holy Christ in Heaven, his laugh was like a waterfall of gold. 

Your face was hot. “I’m so sorry,” you said. “It barely registered. I’ve been having the shittiest week of my life.”

“Boyfriend?”

“Ex,” you corrected. “But also my boss smells like hotdog water. Oh, and my ex left a bunch of skidmarked underwear in my room. My left tire blew out. I can’t seem to save up any money. And I’m being kicked out of my apartment if I can’t get rid of my cat.”

Chris frowned, shaking his head. “Animals before anything,” he said, taking a sip. “I get that.”

“Yeah, as if I’d give away Looney Tunes for a three and a half with barely any hot water.”

“I know a few apartment blocks near my house that allow animals,” he said, slowly taking a sip. 

Your brow rose. “Am I about to know the super secret location of a celebrity’s house?”

Chris laughed. “If you want, you could come over for tea,” he suggested, cheeks pink.

Your mouth fell open. “You drink tea?”

“Of course.”

“We need to get married right away,” you deadpanned.

Chris roared with laughter, left-boob-grabbing and all. 

By the time the night ended, your number was in Chris’s phone and you were on your way to his house

TWO YEARS LATER

You took your bags from the bed, trying to keep the feeling of dread from crawling up and out of your throat.

“You’re okay?” he asked, sitting in the corner, elbows on his knees. 

You couldn’t look at him. You couldn’t comprehend the idea that he was letting you go, that you would never see him again. The hurt crawled through your ribs and bled into your lungs. 

“No,” you said, keeping a sob in your throat. “I just don’t...” you trailed off, sighing. 

Chris got up, smoothing his hands on his pants. “I just think it’s better this way,” he whispered.

Your eyes snapped to his, teary-eyed, cheeks blotchy. “Better?” you gritted. “Better!?”

“Y/N,” he said, calmly. “You’re twenty-two. I’m forty. Do you not see that I’m doing this for you?”

“Oh, right, the righteous older man,” you grumbled.

“No,” he sighed. “I’m just trying to not take away the best years of your life.”

“These were the best years of my life because of you!” you exclaimed, tears spilling hot over your cheeks. 

You saw the strain in his face, the strain to remain stoic. “You should be out with your friends, in bars, in clubs, staying out late and eating takeout half-asleep, drunk as hell. Not here at nine in the evening, curling up in a face mask with me. Not here, every night, reading.”

“God,” you groaned, throwing your hands up. “You really can’t see that this is what I want. You are what I want. I don’t care that I’m missing out. I don’t want to go out until 4 am, drunk off my ass, every night.”

Chris shook his head. 

You blew out a breath. “I see,” you whispered. “You’ve made up your mind.”

You picked up your bags, not letting him have the last word, and stormed out of his room, of his house, not even saying goodbye to Dodger.

SIX MONTHS LATER

“Ericka!” you called. No answer. “Ericka! Do you have my hair straightener!?”

You stormed across the flat, coming to your roommate’s door, knocking. 

“No! Go away!”

She wasn’t just your roommate, but also your best friend.

After Chris had all but broken your heart, she’d offered a place in her apartment. She’d also held you every night as you cried, stroking your hair. She’d also talked you out of calling Chris, or texting him, or sending him some cryptic letter with a bunch of cut-out magazine letters. 

“Oh my God, you have it!?” you yelled, storming into her room. She was running across her bed, the said item in her left hand. 

“NO, LEAVE!”

You ran across the room, trying to tackle her.

“GIVE IT BACK!”

Someone yelled. Ericka fell off the bed. She kicked you by accident in the ribs and you fell off the bed, knocking your head harshly against the floor. It made a sickening thud and you momentarily went blind.

Ericka yelled. “Oh my God!”

When you came too, you were strapped to stretcher, a paramedic telling you not to fall asleep. But you did. 

You don’t know how long you were out, but when you awaoke, there was a doctor there.

“Hello Miss,” she said, smiling broadly. “I’m just going to shine a light in your eyes, okay?” 

You nodded, groggy, looking around. 

She shone the light in your eyes, humming, seeming content and unalarmed by what she saw. 

“So looks like you had a little concussion from your fall,” she said. “We’ll keep you here overnight, just to make sure you’re all right.”

“Um, okay,” you muttered. “Can I get water?”

“Of course, I’ll send a nurse.” She got up. “Someone is here to see you. Are you willing?”

You frowned. It was probably Ericka. “Sure.”

But it wasn’t your best friend to walk into your room. 

And it’s at that moment, when Chris walked in, that you realized you were in a private room. You didn’t have that kind of money....

“Y/N,” Chris sighed, rushing to your bedside, his voice laced with worry. 

Your mouth moved, a rising tide of something coming up in your throat. God, even after six months, you were still so in love with him. 

His warm fingers grazed your cheek and you flinched, realizing you probably had a bruise. 

“God, I was so worried,” he said, eyes searching yours. “Does your head hurt?”

You sat up, straightening your neck. “Chris,” you said, tone harsh. You saw the way he inched away, hands going into his pockets. “You... you broke up with me. What are you doing here?”

The question hit. He put his hand to his mouth, sighing, sitting on the edge of the bed and hanging his head. 

“I didn’t... I didn’t break up with you. I just... set you free.” He sighed heavily, shaking his head slowly. “And I regret it. I wish I could take it back, Y/N.”

You frowned. “You... you set me free?”

Tears gathered behind your lashes.

When he rose his head and saw the tears, he reached out and wiped his thumb under your eye, stopping the fresh tears from staining your skin. 

“No,” he whispered, his own blue eyes glinting. “I was a complete idiot. I shouldn’t...” He didn’t dare finish that sentence.

“But you did,” you said, biting your lip. 

He looked up, breathing in, looking around the room. “So, how did you get in here?” he asked. “Did you forget how to walk down the stairs or something?”

You laughed. The surprised yourself and giggled. Then you thought twice and covered your mouth with your hand. 

Chris smiled softly. “Missed that,” he rasped. 

“I ran after Ericka cause she stole my hair straightener, then she kicked me in the ribs and I fell.”

Chris chuckled. “I remember how savage you get when your things are misplaced.”

You smiled, reminiscing on that time Chris did some cleaning and put your elastics in another drawer and you lost it. 

Chris reached out and tentatively took your hand. “Y/N, I just... I’ll leave right after, but I want you back.”

The admission was so raw, so honest and cold, that you just stared at him. 

“If that’s not what you want, I promise, I will walk out and you will never see me again.”

You nodded, biting your lip, eyes cast down to avoid shedding more tears. 

The bed dipped as Chris got to his feet, the smell of him lingering long after he’d left.

You dropped your head into your hands, sigh turning into a sob. 

A few minutes passed, your heart beating erratically in your chest. 

“Dammit,” you mumbled, grabbing your phone. 

You pressed on the contact info you still kept despite Ericka telling you to delete it. 

He picked up on the first ring. 

“Get back in here and help me get my hair done,” you ordered.

There was a soft chuckle. “Anything for you, baby,” Chris said, and you heard him laughing in the hallway.  

#chris evans #chris evansxyou #chris evansxreader #chris evansxyn #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans imagine #chris evans oneshot #fluff #angst

[shijiujun]

Okay I’ve decided to do a single rec after I finish one novel hahaha because if I wait to get around to it all it’ll never happen! Anyway because @sarah-yyy​​ has been reading it and I’ve gotten a lot of asks/replies on this, I’m just going to do one huge list for one of my faves so everyone knows what’s going on and where to find things XD

- Part of Min’s ‘Why You Should Read’ Series -

Summary: 

This is set in a historical setting where men can marry other men, but it’s usually reserved for sons who were not borne by the official main first wife of the patriarch of the family, i.e. a son born by a concubine in a family may be forced to marry a man to keep him from being able to become the next family’s patriarch for example. This is because any family’s next leader needs to be able to have children with a wife who married in as a zheng shi (lawful wife), and not a ce shi (second wife) or any other concubines/mistresses etc. Most of these men who marry other men have to take them as their zheng shi and lawful spouse in a sense, and the same goes for the royal family.

The story starts with third prince Jing Shao, who was forced to marry Mu Han Zhang, a Marquis’ second son, by the Empress and Emperor, thereby officially and effectively cutting him out of the race for the throne. He’s mocked by the public as everyone knows what this means, and for the next 10 years, he neglects Mu Han Zhang, blaming him for his predicament, and deliberately showers his three other concubines with affection in front of him, but 10 years later, when Jing Shao is accused of treason, everyone leaves him except for Mu Han Zhang. They are chased to the edge of the cliff by soldiers, and Mu Han Zhang dies in his arms having taken an arrow meant for him earlier, and Jing Shao jumps off the cliff with his dead body, and promises that if there’s a next life, he will do everything Han Zhang says, and love him.

He wakes up immediately on the night of his marriage with Han Zhang, and realizes that he’s been given a second chance to make everything right. Han Zhang is definitely afraid of him, humiliated and angry when he first wakes up after how rough Jing Shao was with him earlier on their wedding night, and he has no memories of their past life. Jing Shao then sets to SHOWER HAN ZHANG with affection, love and basically everything, because he realized that this is the only person who stayed by his side until the end, and then he falls in love with Han Zhang properly this time, and also deals with every single person who maligned and schemed against him in his previous life, with Han Zhang by his side.

Read: 

Novel (Online) | Novel (Print) - Not Available | Novel Translations | Manhua (You’ll have to download the KuaiKan app, the chapters are currently all free)

Characters:

1. 景韶 Jing Shao - 3rd Prince and is the first out of his three other brothers to be given a title 成王 (cheng wang). He’s referred to as 王爷, and also 小勺 (xiao shao) by Han Zhang. Went out on his first war when he was 14, and was thus given a title before any of his brothers. He’s known for being a merciless, cold and fierce army general/commander, but this was before his second life with Han Zhang, where he puts on like his doting mode and is basically a dumbass XD who listens to Han Zhang with a lot of trust, which is cool and all.

He marries Han Zhang when he’s 19, and in his first life he was very reluctant and resistant, and neglected Han Zhang for 10 years, until he was charged with treason and hunted down. 

In his first life he wanted to snatch the throne, even from his blood-related brother Jing Chen, but more out of spite than anything else because he felt he was dealt an unfair hand by having to marry Han Zhang. Not only that, but Jing Shao is not his father’s favourite son, and he always felt that the emperor was biased against him. Anyway, a huge accumulation of daddy and anger issues, which is fair.

When he realizes that Han Zhang died for him, he decides he will be good to Han Zhang if they are reborn in their next life.

2. 慕含章 Mu Han Zhang - The 2nd son of Marquis Bei Hou’s, born to a concubine. He’s called by his 表字 which is 君清 (jun qing) by Jing Shao. Official First Wife Bei Wei Hou-furen and her son (who is in line to inherit the Marquis title from his father) has bullied him all his life, and wanted to push him into greater desperation by marrying him to Jing Shao, knowing he will suffer at the hands of the supposed merciless/heartless wangye. He has a weak body because of an accident when he was younger, and in his first life he was really sick after being neglected for 10 years, and knowing this in their second life, Jing Shao does everything he can to take care of him.

He is incredibly smart, has a brain for business and sales, and is also very good at handling people, especially scheming ones. He aids Jing Shao in the beginning of their second life, and then Jing Chen later as well, as both brothers begin to fight to put Jing Chen on the throne, against the 1st and 4th Princes. Is an incredibly good tactician in war as well.

3. 景琛 Jing Chen - 2nd Prince, Jing Shao’s blood related older brother who is handsome af too. His title, given later in the novel, is 睿王 (rui wang). He was misunderstood by Jing Shao in the first life as Jing Shao thought it was his brother who led to him marrying Han Zhang, and because he’s not very good at expressing himself and shows his concern to Jing Shao by nagging at him, Jing Shao always thought he hated him. In their second life, Jing Shao already knows that Jing Chen loves him and did a lot for him in his first life, and so trusts his brother and supports him right off the bat, because Jing Chen is indeed the most suited person for the throne.

He has a wife and a concubine, 3 sons and 2 daughters at this point. He ends up helping Jing Shao a lot, and when he realizes that Han Zhang is way more adept at politics and the whole scheming thing than Jing Shao is, he begins trusting Han Zhang a lot more as well! There’s a surprise with Jing Chen hahaha which I loveee and could see, but wasn’t sure until they confirmed it in the last few chapters AHAHAHAHA.

Other Notable Characters:

1. Song Ling Xin (Second Wife) on the left, and two other concubines on the right

They’re pretty much vying for Jing Shao’s attention, but at this point apparently he hasn’t slept with any of them before. Song Ling Xin is the daughter of the Military Department’s Head Song An, and Jing Shao married her initially out of interest. The right most concubine (I forgot her name oops) was a gift given to him by his oldest brother, the 1st Prince. The two of them played a huge role in Jing Shao’s downfall back in his first life, and so in his second life, he especially detests Song Ling Xin. Plus the three of them keep bullying Han Zhang in the beginning, but thankfully Jing Shao is like: “Anything my Jun Qing wants”. They don’t stay around for long either, watch as Jing Shao gets rid of them like he’s swatting flies.

2. Xiao Yuan & Zhou Da-Ge

This is another male couple who’s been married for 7-8 years if I recall. Xiao Yuan is one of Jing Shao’s important allies and friends in the second life, because in Jing Shao’s first life, this was one of the only young officials in court who spoke up for him when the accusations of treason came about. Zhou Da-Ge is his husband, who is a cook running a restaurant in the city. Whenever Zhou Da-Ge bullies Xiao Yuan in bed a little too much, Xiao Yuan punishes him by making him wear colourful clothes out (pink, bright yellow, purple, etc.) and thus he has a reputation for being eccentric and a weirdo, but oh well, all for love.

3. Gu Huai Qing

One of Jing Shao and Jing Chen’s most powerful allies, and he becomes blood-sworn brothers with Jing Shao without realizing who he is. Later he takes a liking to Jing Chen.

(Will update with photos when they come out, but they’re a bit further into the story so we won’t have them for a few months yet ahahaha)

Amazing Scenes:

Jing Shao & Han Zhang first looks in the manhua

Jing Shao being THAT clingy husband and helping Han Zhang to wear his clothes properly so cute!!!!!

Han Zhang and Jing Shao in their first lives (10 years later), about to die, sad and then Jing Shao jumps down the cliff with Han Zhang’s corpse, regretful cuz he a dumb bij

Jing Shao unable to resist kissing Han Zhang’s cheek, realizes what he’s doing, and gets embarrassed LMAOOOO 没出息!!!!!!! (This is different from the novel, because in the novel Jing Shao just kisses and is done with that, the embarrassment part is drawn in only in the manhua hahaha)

Other Things I Like in the Novel:

Jing Shao is like, he does a 180 entirely and he is very cognisant of all his faults and what he did wrong previously, and how badly he treated Han Zhang, so he legit forces his brain to go “I will listen to Jun Qing from now on” and he really sticks to it!

Loves kissing and teasing Han Zhang, but doesn’t force him into bed after their wedding night, and instead goes to Xiao Yuan and asks for tips on how to make his partner feel less scared about sex

The both of them end up with a pet tiger?!! That’s called Xiao Huang (little yellow) LMAO

They nap together a lot which I love <3333

Jing Shao knows he’s bullied at home, so when they go back to the Marquis Bei Hou manor, he holds Han Zhang’s hand in front of everyone to let them know Han Zhang has someone to back him up

Brings Han Zhang to war because he “cannot concentrate if Jun Qing isn’t with me at all times” - and asks for special permission to do so

Han Zhang notes that since he married Jing Shao, as the ‘wife’ he is supposed to serve Jing Shao, but it’s always Jing Shao serving him - Getting water for him, bringing him to baths, putting clothes on for him, putting food in his plate if it tastes nice, massaging his back and waist etc. - and best is he doesn’t have to deal with any in-laws?!! HAHAHA

Jing Shao gets revenge on those who hurt Han Zhang when he was younger for him, and the outcome is pretty hilarious but well-deserved

EPILOGUES are cute af!!!!

#the wife is first #you own my all #qi wei shang #妻为上 #danmei #danmei novel #stebeee recs #min's why you should read

[saabbi]

Regret part 7

Warmth in the freezing snow

Genshin Impact Adeptus!reader au

warnings: light angst?, mentions of drugging and syringes, probably messy, crappy quality

words: ~2.8k

Notes: series is resuming after the hiatus. I had a hard time writing this chapter (because I suck at writing) so I really hope this chapter didn't turn out to be too messy and confusing. ao3 series link

[previous] [next]

Stepping out the ship, you’re immediately greeted by the harsh and nostalgic icy cold breeze. Pure white snowflakes that dance around your vision and the pile of soft snow beneath your feet tells you that you’re back in Snezhnaya.

You asked a subordinate to help you deliver the lantern you had bought for Teucer and obediently followed another Fatui member, who guided you to the chamber where the Tsarista is patiently waiting for your arrival.

“Your highness, I have returned.” You kneeled down on one knee, head lowering to pay your respects. The Tsarista’s ice cold gaze pierces you, making you anxious on why she summoned you.

“My loyal subject.” a voice so calm and quiet, barely to be heard, yet crystal clear and reverberates around the shallow and empty hall, sending a chill down your spine. You look up upon her call, acknowledging that she remains ever so strikingly breath-taking, as resplendent as the most exquisite flower, as elegant as Snezhnaya’s never-melting snow.

“Dottore has found a way to further enhance the capabilities of Fatui, and your aid is needed to achieve it.” She walks closer to you with each step, stopping just before your kneeled figure.

“To achieve it, your aid is necessary. I trust that you will provide all the help Dottore needs dutifully, yes?” A simple question, but her tone indicates that she does not accept rejection as an answer.

“Yes, of course.” The Tsarista seems delighted at your answer, resting her chilly hand on your cheeks and lightly caressing it with her thumb. The subtle intimate gesture however, was nothing resembling that of affection. The Tsarista’s sharp gaze remains fixated on you, yet it doesn’t feel like she’s properly looking at you at all. Her gaze has always been like that, as if she’s looking for something deeper in your soul, but not your existence.

“Dottore, come in. The final mission of our primeval harbinger shall now be performed.” The coldness on your cheeks is replaced by the sudden gushes of wind, the words leaving the Tsarista’s mouth leaving you off guard as you abruptly shot your head up.

“...Your highness? What does that-” Cut off by a harsh slam of the door, you turn to the entrance only to reveal a masked man with curly blue locks- Dottore. The condescending smirk spreading on his face as he meets your wary eyes sets off alarms in your head, screaming that this man is up to no good.

Your hand immediately reaches towards the hilt of your sword resting on your hips, ready to draw it out if he makes any suspicious movements. Furrowing your eyebrows and eyeing Dottore’s every move, unsure of what he would do.

“Relax, relax. This is all under the Tsarista’s orders, doesn’t do too much harm...I guess?” Dottore, now casually twirling a syringe filled with a dangerous-looking fluid, puts his hands up in the air in a placating manner, but his halfhearted response only makes you glare at him cautiously.

“I will have to question you on what you’re about to do, Dottore.” It’s all under the Tsarista’s orders, and you thought it would just be something about training new Fatui recruits, but Dottore’s behaviour insinuates that there is much more than that, and seems like the syringe is to be used on you.

“Oh this? Haha! I’m not quite sure, maybe knock you out for a bit? Y’know, draw out your adeptal powers to the maximum potential, I weaponise it, and voila! Fatui gets a new upgrade! Wonderful plan right?”

Dottore sure made it sound like no big deal, but you know that’s not all the catch. Because if it’s about your adeptal powers, then surely, the Tsarista’s intention is to-

“You’d better not do any stupid movements with your sword, yeah? It would be bad if you were to go against her highness’ orders, after all, you are her most loyal subordinate. Unless… you plan to commit treachery?” Dottore leered as your grip on the sword tightens, conflicted on what to do.

Reluctantly, you peered over to the Tsarista, who has not said a word at the impasse and tense situation between you and Dottore, silently watching everything unfold before her. The Tsarista’s glacial smile never fades as she meets your gaze, not giving you a definite response, but perhaps acknowledging Dottore’s words.

“That’s… not all there is to this, is it?” Despite your loyalty to the Tsarista, this question must be raised for your own sake. Adeptal energy has always been a rather sensitive subject to both you and the Tsarista, with you knowing that she has always wanted to utilise your mysterious powers to help her achieve her goals.

“Quite the sharp one huh? Well I suppose there’s no use beating around the bush, I’ll do you the favour in telling you this- Your adeptal energy is to be drained completely for us to use, ahahaha!” A fit of manical laughter jolted through him, his atrocious appearance matching his abhorrent personality.

“And that would leave me...vulnerable and powerless?” The appalling smirk that makes you want to throw up, the messed up plan that makes you want to run away from the Tsarista’s chambers.

“B i n g o! You neither have a vision nor delusion, so without those powers, you’re pretty much useless.” Dottore approaches you, barely stopping in front of you. Lowering his voice, he mumbled into your ears, “and you’ll be thrown away by the Tsarista, officially being useless to her. I’m sure you know by now, that all her highness cares about is that adeptal energy of yours, and not you yourself?” even at such a low volume, his mockery towards you can clearly be heard.

Of course you knew, that all the Tsarista’s interested in is your mysterious powers. It doesn’t take a detective to figure out her intentions in bringing you to her nation. Even after millennia of you serving her with your utmost loyalty, all she has taken interest in is your powers.

The cold Tsarista that requested you like an object from Morax as a trade of peace, and never paid you much attention. The Tsarista who only shows you some form of affection and addresses your name when she needs you to carry out her plans. To her, it was obvious that you are a mere chess piece, for her to attain her grand goals.

Despite knowing this, you still turned your head once more towards the Tsarista, locking gazes with her, searching for something that even you yourself wasn’t sure what you’re looking for in her eyes, but to no avail, the same empty eyes with no any sort of emotion returning your disappointment. That is how little you meant to her.

It has always been, a foolish hope of yours, to believe that one day, if you stay by her side long enough, you would become a figure that holds much more place in her heart. But that has never been the case, her icy heart never had space for you, locking you out. She has enough love for all the other harbingers, all except you.

The best course of action right now, is to draw out your blade and resist against the Tsarista. You have to defend yourself, you have to get out alive and well, because you promised Zhongli, Xiao, and Ganyu to return. You have to unsheathe your sword right this instant.

But your hands remain frozen, disobeying your commands and desperate internal cries. It should be simple, to protect yourself against those who could not care less about your existence and never acknowledging you, and flee to Liyue. So why can’t you bring yourself to do so?

Because it would mean that you’re defying the person whom your loyalty is dedicated to, denying the Tsarista’s ambitions.

The same Tsarista who ripped you apart from your family, but also the one who gave you a new identity, and a new place to call home, giving you a reason to live on by serving her.

And you who watched over her carefully throughout your lifetime; when she became obsessed with the idea of bringing down celestia, to the point where delusions are invented just for the sole purpose of resisting against the sacred land where gods are rumoured to reside.

You never found out the reason behind her obstinacy in bringing down celestia, but you stayed beside her long enough to witness her desire for power and authority to continue to expand into a bottomless abyss, and the times when she struggled.

Times when her immature plans backfired, times she felt livid and Snezhnaya would be in raging blizzards for weeks, times when she doubted her own decisions. You were always there, by her side and ready to jump into action whenever she needed you to.

Through trial and error, she learned to develop well thought-out plans after calculations and taking precautionary measures, and recruited talented individuals. The harder she falls, the higher she bounces. She was undeniably a dazzling existence to you.

The Tsarista is a blinding lone star that continues to glisten even if other stars have faded, showing its resistance towards the devouring night sky. Someone so cruel and brutal, yet ever so resplendent, that you couldn’t peel your eyes off her.

A star that defies the night sky.

And you, who only knew how to live under orders and pretty much lived a tedious life besides carrying out Fatui duties, are dull and have long succumbed to darkness.

So how could you deny her? The one who never faltered, the flames of ambition that refuses to die out no matter what? You couldn’t bring yourself to betray her even at this very moment, because you have watched over her for far too long.

“This turned out to be rather...disappointing.” Seeing you loosening your grip on the sword and putting down your defenses, Dottore scoffs.

You take a sharp inhale, making up your mind. Regretfully, your decision is to stay loyal to the Tsarista and faithfully do as she wishes up until the very end. A very foolish decision even you are aware of, and one that makes your heart scream in agony knowing that you’re once again being thrown away. Even so, this is the path you have chosen.

.

.

.

Drained, you felt. It felt as if your powers erupted all at once, and got sucked dry by a vacuum cleaner and left to die on the road. Your role as the twelfth harbinger has been dismissed, now just an identity-less wanderer. The Tsarista truly is a cruel person, you thought, to just throw you out and let you crawl away all by your own whilst surrounded by nothing but coldness and snow, knowing that you right now are incredibly weak and vulnerable. She didn’t even have someone to escort you to a shelter, simply took away your harbinger identification with the usual eerie smile.

But archons do you feel horrible, dizzy and nauseous, on the verge of passing out. Now that you’ve lost your place, where would you go? Tired, cold and nowhere to go, you lean on a nearby bark to grab a hold of yourself, trying figure out what to do from now on.

Slumping down and shutting your eyes, you are forced to face your own emotions that you have repressed in the Tsarista’s chambers. Your heart aches so much, the strong pulsations being the only thing resounding in your ears, it hurts more than how your body is right now.

What a pathetic destiny you face, to be thrown away whom you trusted and served twice in your lifetime. It hurts so much, your heart continuously screams to you, not forgiving the way you hurt it so severely. So pathetic, you are so pathetic, you thought.

Even after millennia, you still never found a place you truly belonged to, your miserable and pathetic self was not accepted anywhere. You know very well the Tsarista has always been using you, yet facing the harsh reality is not as easy as you thought.

Wouldn’t it be better if the abyss consumed you? To be embraced by darkness and vanish, not having to face pointless emotions and drama? If only your eyes never opened back from the first time you dirtied your own hands, and instead swallow by the cold and hungry arms of demise- if you only died back then, would you still have to face such circumstances?

“...Hey, comrade.” a light whisper of a familiar voice enters your ears, dragging you back from your thoughts. You looked up at the one who called for you, only to find your vision blurry and cheeks feeling wet and cold. You didn’t even realise droplets of tears had trickled down your cheeks, you are even surprised that you’re capable of crying, you hadn’t shed a tear, let alone cry out loud for so long that you had forgotten how it felt.

Childe crawls closer, slowly wrapping you into a warm hug and gently strokes you on the head like how he has treats his siblings. You feel embarrassed to be comforted by someone much younger than you and being treated like a child, but returned the hug nonetheless. Not knowing how much you needed a hug, you find his embrace to be pleasant and safe.

“There’s a ship heading to Liyue, so let’s get you home to where it’s warm and safe, yeah?” Home, Childe said, you wanted to retort, but somehow ‘home’ and ‘Liyue’ just sounded right. Is it okay if you return there? To seek asylum?

“Come on comrade, it’d be devastating if you missed the ride!” slumping your weak arms over his shoulders and a hand on your waist to support you, lifting you onto your feet to lead you to the harbour.

“I-I’m sorry for what happened, and that I...I couldn’t help you. If I had known what Dottore was scheming, I would have talked to the Tsarista and convince her not to adopt such a brutal method.” His cheery voice is replaced by one with remorse, avoiding your eyes.

“I didn’t know Dottore came up with such an outrageous method, the Tsarista didn’t inform us of her plan! I- I should’ve known Dottore was up to no good! I could’ve done something-” Getting agitated, his speech hastens and stumbles over his own words.

“Hey, hey. Calm down, you know it’s not your fault.” You cut him off, giving him a soft slap on the back. “The Tsarista had such plans a long time ago, she just...never found the right methods until today, I guess.”

Somehow, it only made Childe feel even worse, guilt and sympathy all shown on his face.

“Come on, where’s your usual jolly self? A gloomy expression doesn't suit you at all. Teucer and Tonia will be worried for their #1 toymaker of Snezhnaya.” you mustered a feeble smile, assuring him that you’re fine.

“Well, never thought I’d hear you crack a joke after all these years…” Childe’s lips curve into a relieved and playful smile. Although, you have to admit, it does makes you feel better knowing that he’s worried for you.

.

.

.

“This is the Crux, you might’ve seen their crew around Liyue before. I spoke with the captain, and it’s a huge relief that she accepted our request!” You and Childe stumbled into the guest room that is kindly lent to you, with Childe immediately helping you get on the bed and wrapping you in blankets.

“You had a not-so-pleasant eventful day, it’s best if you warm up and rest now. I can’t go back with you, but I’ve contacted Zhongli, he should be there to pick you up when you arrive.” with a soft tone, Childe picks up your hand and gently strokes your palms, taking a note of your pale complexion, you remind him of his siblings when they were sick. He turns to leave you alone, about to close the door.

“Hey, Childe?” He abruptly stops and turns back to you with a concerned look, worried if you’re still feeling unwell and perhaps he could help.

“Thank you.” but only two simple words came out of your mouth. So simple and short, but more than enough to convey the gratitude and respect you held for him.

Childe breaks into a beaming smile, “Of course! We’re friends after all, right comrade? I think I’m even your best friend!” to which you chuckled. Yeah, you suppose he isn’t wrong on that.

Just before he closes the door completely, he halts and opens his mouth, “Teucer adored your gift, he and Tonia wanted to prepare something in return… I’ll bring it to you next time, yeah? And perhaps drink tea too at Zhongli’s?”

“Yes, I shall look forward to dear Teucer and Tonia’s gift then, it’s a promise.” You feel your consciousness slip away, closing your eyes and replying to Childe with a light smile on your face.

“It’s a promise!” He enthusiastically replied, only to realise he should tone it down to let you sleep in peace. “Sweet dreams, comrade.” Just before passing out on your bed, you hear Childe’s almost inaudible reply and a click on the door shutting close.

[previous] [next]

for extra info/drabbles on this series: #adeptus reader asks please feel free to send some asks as well :)

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#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact zhongli #zhongli #zhongli x reader #ganyu #ganyu x reader #xiao #xiao x reader #genshin impact ganyu #genshin impact xiao #genshin #genshin x you #adeptus reader

[demonsandmischief]

Insecurities Pt. 1

Ghost Adventures - A Zak Bagans Imagine

Zak Bagans x Female Reader

ANGST ALERT ~ also some cussing

1400 Words

HELP 😭 I don't know what this is. WHY has this been circling in my head?? I'm not an angsty girl.

-Insecurities-

In which the relationship shatters.

----

The four friends came out of Zak Bagan's theater with cheesy grins and small residual chuckles.

Zak was chattering about something. Sometimes he never shut up, but that was your boyfriend and you loved him deeply. Anymore though, it seemed he didn't feel the same.

"Hi," you greeted. You were sitting at his kitchen island working on your laptop.

They continued to talk like you weren't there. When this happened at first, it wasn't a big deal, but lately it was like you didn't exist in Zak's world.

Your relationship had been good, really good. You got along great with his friends. You enjoyed his passion for his work. Yet, you were so opposite. You weren't a ghost hunter. You didn't ever travel with them.

You were definitely feeling a bit left out. Even Zak had slowly distanced himself. Was it something you did, or was your relationship simply over? Either way wasn't good.

"Hey, Y/N." Jay finally greeted back, easing some of the awkwardness you felt.

Zak said nothing to you. Actually, he was on his phone.

Billy, Aaron and Jay left, and Zak was still standing there texting.

"Hey, sorry. I actually have to hop on a meeting. It'll probably be a while." He finally looked at you and you shrunk under his gaze. It didn't feel like it normally did.

"What about dinner reservations?" you whispered.

"Raincheck?" he asked. "I'm really sorry, I do have to go."

"I'm starting to get a bit of headache anyway. I'll probably just head home," you said, but the room was empty.

You could feel your heart plummet to your feet as you walked out to your car.

You swiped away the first tear with rapid speed. You wouldn't give in to that, because as far as you know, you hadn't done anything wrong.

"I was supposed to leave, but there's been some kind of emergency meeting," Billy laughed, stepping out of his car. He paused, looking at you. "Are you okay?" He had moved closer, but you were heading towards the comfort of your car.

"I'm good. Just allergies," you faked a smile. "Good luck with that meeting." Finally, you could go home.

Billy frowned as he watched you drive off.

"Are you and y/n okay?" he asked Zak cautiously. He didn't want to be too invasive, but he was concerned.

"I think so. Why?" Zak looked up from his laptop.

"Well, the guys and I thought she did something since you had been ignoring her, but she was crying when she left. I was just concerned, I don't want to pry."

Zak frowned, "She left? And she was crying?" He heard you mentioned a headache, but figured you were just going to lay down.

"You didn't know she was leaving?" Billy asked in a soft voice. You were so polite, it was almost guaranteed you'd never leave without saying anything.

"Fuck," Zak dropped his head. "I wasn't ignoring her. She can be so sensitive."

Billy felt his defense for you, a good friend and a loyal girlfriend to his other good friend, raise, "Zak, you didn't speak one word to her. You wouldn't even look at her. What did she do that was so bad?"

Zak shook his head, "She didn't do anything." He hesitated, but Billy noticed.

"And?"

"It's me. I've never been in a good, committed relationship. She's so perfect, she doesn't need me. I just needed a way for her to leave me."

"Why the hell are you such an idiot?" Billy opened his laptop. "I'll deal with the meeting. You need to go."

----

Ten missed calls from Zak, and a dozen or so texts, but you wanted none of it. You silenced your phone and left it in the kitchen as you laid across the couch, watching TV as a distraction.

You hated feeling like a burden. If he was tired of you, he should have been straight about it instead of leading you on.

You swallowed the thickness in your throat, a tell-tale sign you were going to cry. You had been holding it in since you got home.

You brushed away the first tear with the back of your hand, pulling the soft blanket up to your chin as miserable shudders racked your body. It had been a sucky day and you were drained from it.

You must have dozed off because you were jolted awake by a knock on your front door. You knew immediately who it was, but you didn't know why he bothered, unless he was coming to break up with you officially.

You sat up, pushing your hair out of your face. You wished he would spare you of any more heartache and just leave.

You groaned silently to yourself when you heard the sound of keys rattling. It slipped your mind he had keys to your home. He hardly ever had to use them. You were almost always at his place.

Zak spotted you immediately huddled on couch and he felt like the worst piece of shit alive. He had been doing it so you wouldn't hurt, but he hurt you even worse in the process.

"Baby," he called softly, walking closer. He hesitated, not knowing what to say. Sorry just wasn't enough.

"What are you doing here, Zak?" Your voice was rough from crying and he hated it. He didn't know what had gotten into him, why he had pushed you away so hard. Yeah, you deserved better, but he loved and adored you. It was inexcusable.

"I had something to say," he said, moving closer and you finally turned to look at him.

He felt sick to his stomach at the torn apart look you gave him. He had caused that. It was his fault.

"I already know you're breaking up with me. You could've spared the trip."

"I'm not breaking up with you." Zak sat down beside you, and you followed his every move. You wanted him to leave, for the games to be over with.

"Then you're an asshole," you manage to get out.

He was a bit stunned by the sharpness of your voice. He caused you to be jaded.

He sucked in a deep breath, "I was trying to get you to leave me. You deserve so much better than me, and if this isn't proof enough..."

"You don't get to decide that for me. I loved you. I was doing my best, trying to be friends with your friend and accepting when you had to go away," you shook your head, tired of it all.

Loved. As in past tense. Wasn't that what he wanted all along? He swallowed thickly, unsure of what to say.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." He knew it wasn't enough, but the sting had numbed his whole body.

You couldn't contain the sob that escaped. It was like a dam had broken.

Zak reached for you, expecting you to push him away, but you allowed him to pull you to his chest.

You could feel his own tears as he bent his head and rested it on your shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," he mumbled. "I should've talked to you when I started getting insecure. I'm such a fuck up."

"I thought I had done something," you said into his chest with a sniffle.

Zak pulled away to gently wipe your tears with his thumb. "No, sweetheart. You did nothing wrong. It was all me. I'll spend the rest of my life making up for it if that's what it takes for you to forgive me."

You weren't sure how to feel. Zak obviously had some issues he needed to resolve, but he did still hold your heart. In almost a year of dating, you had never had any arguments or anything larger than a disagreement. Even though he was headstrong and stubborn, there had never been an issue and now you felt like you were at a crossroad.

---

"I should go. I know I barged in here, but I needed to talk to you." He wiped his own tears and stood up. He fiddled with his keys for a minute and you realized he was taking the key to your house off. He set it gently on the coffee table. It broke your heart even more. The last thing you wanted was for this to end. But he was already gone.

Here's Part 2

Ahahaha cliffhanger. I'm so happy this is out of my head. I don't really know where this came from but I hope you enjoy. I know it's been a hot minute since I wrote for Zak. Comment for PT. 2 :)

#ghost adventures #gac #ghost adventures crew #screaming room #zak bagans x reader #zak bagans #zak bagans imagine #angst #aaron goodwin #billy tolley #jay wasley #travel channel #zak bagans x you #paranormal

[writer-akihiko]

Can you write a sequel to the ‘We’ll change’ story featuring Yandere Yamato, Ren and Camus x Princess/Reader and Princess/Reader x Masato? I wanted more when I reached the end cause I’d like to know what happens to the princess and her son!

We'll Change PT 2 - Yandere!Camus + Yandere!Ren + Yandere! Yamato X Princess!Reader

PART 1

Cut under for yandere, angst and length. This is my personal characterisation of Ren, Camus and Yamato from Utapri as a Yandere. Actual Ren, Camus and Yamato would not do this; this is my take on how Ren, Camus and Yamato acts as a Yandere.

Thank you so much for requesting a part 2! I thought no one would appreciate part 1 enough to want the rest of the story. The routes after this are locked, but the links to their routes will be added once I post them!

With that, they swung their swords back and forth at the king, his body finally tossed out the window. Splashes and blots of blood decorate the chamber and the princes left.

"Princess!"

Your lady-in-waiting burst into your room, waking you up. You shifted out of your sheets, rubbing your eyes, your joints aching from the uncomfortable position you slept in. Your usually happy-go-lucky maid quivered, her eyes filled with horror as her tears soaked her skirt.

Once feeling your hands console her fear, the lady spoke up. "Your father was found dead! They said he was assassinated!"

"Gather the servants," You commanded. "The knights should be investigating now and I don't want to give anyone a chance to escape."

Your lady-in-waiting nodded, hurrying out the door. As the sound of clacking heels faded, you hurried out of your bed, impatient with yourself as you hurried to the servant room where your son stayed for the night along with the other children.

You breathed out a sigh of relief as the children, including Mitsunari, your son. His dark blue eyes resembling Masato glossed over, as his tiny body trembled into your embrace. As you gathered the children, the sudden hustling of the soldiers scared the children.

"Princess, you shouldn't be here."

Out of a reflex, you shielded the group of children with your body, your back towards the man. The tap on your shoulder alerted that everything was alright, although you weren't too happy with the face you encountered.

"Prince Yamato?"

He sheathed his sword, signaling the knights behind him. They swiftly lead the children away. One knight stayed behind, bowing to you and held his hands out to you, politely asking you to hand Mitsunari over to him.

You shook your head firmly, cuddling the boy close to your chest. "It's alright. This one's about to fall asleep, and I'll ask Lady Tomochika to take him later."

A sigh escaped your lips after watching the children leave to the other servants, however. Yamato was suspicious of how you cooed the child. He didn't assume you were heartless, well… You were cold to him, but not to the extent around children. He halted any thoughts of hatred towards the child in his arms, realising how sinister they were.

Mitsunari held onto your garment tight, snuggling up to your chest as you soothed him. Yamato untied his cape, draping it over your shoulders. You reluctantly accepted it, stepping away from the prince once the cape comfortably sat on your shoulders.

"Ah! There you are Princess!"

You wanted to scream on the spot. First you had to deal with Yamato, and now…

"Prince Ren," You bowed slightly, keeping Mitsunari in your arms. "And Prince Yamato. Thank you for coordinating the knights."

Ren bowed in turn, escorting by your side with Yamato. The two idly chatted, attempting to get closer and closer to you. You scoffed, trying to keep ahead of them. The situation was hazy to you, and they'd be the only ones who know about your father's death.

"…Where's my father's body?" You spoke up. You made sure to cover Mitsunari's ears in case of any possibility of gruesome descriptions.

Yamato huffed. He was hoping you'd inquire at least for his safety, heck, even Ren's. "Camus is handling the body with other knights. Ren is supposed to hunt the assassins, and I was to ensure the safety of the castle," Yamato snuck a look at Ren. "And clearly, someone's been caught slacking…"

The tense situation between the two princes never dispelled, which made you more wary of the two. Mitsunari didn't sleep throughout the entire walk, his head peaking out of the cape you swaddled yourself and him in.

"Ah, the little prince has awoken…" Ren quipped.

All airs of propriety vanished as you stopped in your tracks. A shiver ran through your spine, your hands cold against your son's skin. "How… How did you know?..."

The princes' usual teasing demeanour switched to a sinister expression on both faces.

Yamato couldn't help but laugh. "Ahahaha! Oh… Princess… If only you could see the utter despair on your face…" He wiped off a tear of laughter from his eyes, stepping close to you. "We're not as stupid as you think we are… We fooled you, didn't we?"

"Ma-Mama…" Mitsunari cried out, his curious eyes turning into wariness as he watched Yamato hurl over in laughter. You soothed your child, huffing at the other two.

"How impudent of you, Yamato… To scare a child through your laughter…"

The icy Northern Prince Camus appeared, sheathing away his bloodied sword. "Apologies for his rudeness, Your Highness but I believe that there are matters we must discuss in private…"

"Who are you to steal the lady's attention away?" Ren taunted, boldly pulling you by the waist close to him. "Didn't we say we'd play fair, Camus? Or was the Princess' face distractingly lovely for you?"

The men pestered you enough. To get them out of your hair, you had no choice to comply with the meeting. Mitsunari was still kept by your side, since the secret was leaked. Besides, the knowledge of the spy still being out there.

You set Mitsunari down, although he still clutched your skirt tight. His eyes glanced over the Princes, and by his body language, you figured he recognised the three Princes. To your shock, your son ran up to Prince Yamato, hugging him by the leg.

"Hello Prince Papa…" He said, his little body swaying from left to right, quite nervous. "Are… Are you here to pick up Mama?"

Yamato chuckled, picking up the child, teasingly mocking the other two. "Sure… if those other meanies would let me…"

"Who's here to pick up who now?!" You protested, quite alarmed that Mitsunari had such a good relationship with one of the princes.

"Now now Princess YN, I simply told your son the truth, didn't I?"

Mitsunari nodded, jumping off Yamato's arms and tugging your dress once more. "Mama… Grandpapa was going to sell you off if you didn't marry one of them… And…" The next words brought tears to his dark blue eyes. "And it would mean that I couldn't be with Mama…"

To dispel your doubts, Ren had presented you with official documents from the King's study, with contracts to sell you off, as well as legal announcements of bankruptcy. You couldn't believe it…

"No… No, this can't be true!" You cried out.

Camus caught you before your knees gave in. "We're afraid we can't lie about it…"

Ren tucked away the documents, huffing, "This is why you should've understand our reasons to kill him…"

Upon hearing those words, you shoved Prince Camus aside, unwilling to digest Ren's words. "My father… It was you?!"

Ren, braving your hatred, swooped in to land a kiss on your hand. "All for your benefit, my lady."

"My Queen, we couldn't bear the thought of losing you."

"Honestly, we have more means and power to protect you."

"So choose wisely Princess."

[Routes Unlocked]

[Prince Camus Cryszard Route]

"Hah, of course, I'm the only one who deserves you. No one would treat you better than me."

[Prince Ren Jinguji Route]

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting to worship you endlessly, my beautiful lady…"

[Prince Yamato Hyuga Route]

"Anyone who gets in my way dies by my blade… Honestly, that's the most of my mercy."

#uta no prince sama #yandere ren #yandere camus #yandere yamato #yandere utapri #ren jinguji #camus #yamato hyuga #utapri #ren x reader #camus x reader #yamato x reader #yandere x reader

[saiyuki]

dhbat#16-4

no repost/rework/typeset without my permission.

purchase & read the chapter here!

Kuukou: The path you chose begins here.

Jyushi: Begins... here?

Kuukou: You're teaming up with me, participating in the division battle!

Jyushi: Di, division battle...!?

Kuukou: That's right. Get to the top to reach a self you can be proud of!

Jyushi: Let me think just for a bit...

Kuukou: Don't say you're gonna think about it! Decide now! I don't like waiting!

Jyushi: Guh! Hi-Hitoya-sa... (Ah!)

Jyushi: (No... I thought to rely upon others again... I haven't grown at all!)

Jyushi: I'll be... in your care!

Kuukou: Yeah!

Kuukou and Jyushi shake hands... with a lot of intensity.

Jyushi: But... why me?

Kuukou: I've come to like the determined heart you've got deep within you!

Jyushi: A... determined heart.

Kuukou: You fainted taking my lyrics again and again, but you didn't back down. Guys like that aren't common.

Kuukou: That being said, I'll be counting on you!

Jyushi: Y-yes!

Hitoya sighs in relief watching the two get along.

Hitoya: Well then, I'll be on my way now that things have settled down.

Kuukou: You wait right there, cheapskate lawyer!

Hitoya: What now, you rotten trainee monk.

Kuukou: You forgot something.

Kuukou shoves a hypnosis mic in front of Hitoya.

Kuukou: You're a member of my team too.

Hitoya: I don't get what you're saying.

Kuukou: This matter's non-negotiable. I'm not letting you refuse.

Hitoya: There are two things I can't stand. First: redheaded brats. Second: being forced to do something!

Kuukou: Seems like I check both boxes! Ahahaha!

Hitoya: You know that well, don't you!?

Kuukou: Do I, now? I've set up a field for you to go up against Jinguji Jakurai, yet you're running away?

Kuukou: ...well, running away from an opponent you've never ever won against is a clever choice.

Taken aback, Hitoya finally gives in.

Hitoya: Heh, ain't that interesting. I'll ride.

Kuukou: Thought so!

Kuukou grabs Hitoya's arms, much to his displeasure.

Hitoya: Don't go pulling me around...

Kuukou: Hey, Jyushi! Gimme your hands!

Jyushi: Huh? Alright...

Kuukou: Hitoya! You too! ...great!

The three of them place their right hands on top of each others', officiating their team up.

Kuukou: We're family from now on. This bond won't vanish, even if we cross over to the afterlife! Know that there's absolutely no escape and no betrayal!

Hitoya: I'll judge as law says if you're doing the betraying.

Kuukou: Haha! I'll keep that in mind.

Ramuda watches the three through the gaps on the halls's wooden fences. Shakku approaches him.

Shakku: ―Oh. Do you perhaps have business?

Ramuda: Ahaha~ this plush was dropped in the temple grounds, so I came here to hand it over. Here you go!

Shakku: Oh my. Thank you very much.

Ramuda: Well then, bye-bie~!

The chapter ends with Rosho coming home to his apartment... only to see his living room light turned on.

To be continued (October 29).

Read TLs of previous chapters here!

#hypmic #dhbat #tl #bad ass temple

[bitchybutcher]

Texts I sent a friend the first time I watched The Boys, Season 2:

-        Gird your loins

-        I’m dying to know more about Black Noir

-        Ugh ffs Homelander smarming about on stage at Translucents funeral

-        It’s an empty box but I suppose how would people know cause invisible corpse

-        WHY IS ANNIE SINGING AT THE INVISIBLE PERVS FUNERAL

-        Aw no straight in with Sad Kevin

-        Oh ok angry drunk Kevin

-        Ugh not these Samaritans Embrace fuckers again

-        Oh Annie. Parroting the company line. I hope she’s gonna fuck them all over

-        SAD HUGHIE OH NO

-        BILLY JOOOOOELLLL

-        Aw Kimiko is learning

-        Her lil smile

-        Oooh Hughie is a liiiiiar

-        Meeting on the subway like a couple shifty teenagers

-        Oh I forgot they microchipped the supes like dogs

-        Oh nooooo young love angst

-        Oh no a Sad Kevin incident

-        Aaaaand he’s been arrested

-        A nice archer bailed him out

-        Omfg the fake Butcher re-enactment

-        Oh do NOT tell me this crazy bastard is gonna drink the frozen breast milk

-        Oh fuck he is

-        What the FUCK, HOMELANDER

-        This visually impaired ninja seems nice

-        That probably means he’s gonna turn out to be a dick

-        OH FUCK

-        Homelander what the fuuuuuck

-        Ok what the shit is happening here in the motel

-        WHAT

-        What the fuuuuuck

-        I – MM is making a dolls house? That’s so cute

-        Oh shit smuggled people

-        Homelander is nuts with power

-        Uhhhh who is Carol and why is she staring at Kevin while he sleeps

-        Finally an archer who is honest about how useless they can be once they run out of arrows

-        Oh noooo are they gonna try brainwash Kevin with homeopathic stuff? And why do they keep offering him Fresca

-        OH FUCK ME NOT ANOTHER RELIGION THING

-        Oh Hughie has grown a pair since last season. Good for him

-        Where’s Butcherrrrrrrr

-        Body gore porn dude is called Gecko that’s too cute a name for him

-        Stormfront seems like fun

-        She’s gonna be pissing off Homelander so much I like her already

-        OH WHAT THE FUCK THE CIA LADYS HEAD EXPLODED

-        I like Stan

-        Giving Homelander the dressing down he needs

-        I know it’s convenient for Toni to wear the padded suit all the time but does Homelander ever wear anything else

-        Oh hiiii Becca I still think you’re a bitch and Butcher deserved better

-        BUTCHERRRRR YASSSSS

-        “Daddy’s home”

-        I’m dead. It’s official.

-        The fuckin smirk and the voice I’m fuckin dead

-        OH NO KEVIN IS TRYING THE CHURCH THING

-        Is he making shroom tea

-        Why is Patton Oswalt voicing Kevin’s gills this is delightful

-        Atrain is awake again that’s not good

-        I’m cracking up at Sad Kevin and his singing gills

-        Homelander is gone way off the deep end oh boy

-        Awwww soft Maeve in the hospital with her girlfriend

-        I want to like Becca but I can’t shake the bad feeling

-        Homelander is a terrible father

-        I mean I know he has no role models to base his parenting on, but yikes

-        It’s like if Scar was raising Simba instead of Mufasa

-        ….are the gang raiding a party city store

-        I love how Frenchie always looks a mix of horrified and amazed whenever Kimiko kills someone

-        AWWW IT’S HER BROTHER YAY

-        Oh shiiiiiiiit

-        Butcher STOP JUST SHOOTING PEOPLE

-        You were right this season is weird

-        I like Kimiko’s brothers bedazzled denim jacket

-        Butcher don’t punch Hughie wtf

-        Starting with Hughie listening to the same song again, nice

-        Butcher is terrible at apologising it’s so cute

-        I’m sorry did Hughie just fall over trying to throw a punch

-        The kid’s a dandelion omg

-        Why are they on a boat? Did Karl just decide “I like being on boats lemme go on a boat”?

-        I see what you mean about Homelander being scary

-        He’s completely insane

-        Why does this storyboard guys shirt say assbinder

-        Chace Crawford is an excessively veiny man

-        BLACK NOIR IS CRYING

-        Or possibly laughing

-        Hard to tell when they have no face

-        Annie actually leaked all the compound V stuff good for her

-        FRENCHIE KISSED HUGHIE

-        Homelander is gonna get this kid killed tryna make him fly

-        Honestly the kid looks more like Hughie

-        OH MY GOD HE PUSHED HIM OFF THE ROOF

-        OH MY SWEET FUCKING JESUS HOMELANDER YOU CAN’T DO THAT

-        Oop there’s the laser eyes

-        Oh Homelander is back at the Tower and freaking Maeve out

-        OH FUCK THE BROTHER IS LOOSE

-        Hughie don’t do it

-        Oh ok I thought he was gonna jump off the boat

-        Kevin and the cult weirdos are up to something

-        Hughie no you don’t call the girl you like crying over Billy Joel lyrics

-        Oh god boyo you don’t then drop the L word in the same voice message!

-        He’s hopeless

-        Oh nooooo Kevin is attacking the boat goddammit Kevin

-        OH FUCK A WHALE

-        For fuck sake Kevin

-        Ewwwww

-        Butcher what the fuck

-        Hughie having a nervous breakdown inside of a whale

-        No but why is Karl so hot covered in blood

-        Actually I didn’t even need to include the blood part of that question

-        Oh boy here we go, the 7 show up to find Sad Kevin crying over spilt whale

-        ….why is Stormfront tryna get all up in Homelander’s ass?? I thought she was cool but now she’s all lemme suck that radioactive dick

-        OH NO

-        Poor Kevin he’s worked so hard to accept his gills and now Homelander has knocked him back down

-        Oooo dear Atrain is having a heart attack again this isn’t good

-        Oh fuck is Hughie gon get caught

-        Oh no it’s Annie it’s ok

-        OH FUCK

-        ANNIE WHY

-        THAT’S YOUR HUGHIE

-        OH MAN KIMIKO’S BROTHER IS BADASS YES SQUASH THE SMUG PRICK

-        Oh I do NOT like Stormfront holy fuckin shit what’s wrong with this woman

-        Poor Kimiko

-        What’s with the random woman talking about calling off her wedding?

-        Why is Frenchie taking drugs

-        FUCK SAKE FRENCHIE DON’T TRY KISS A GIRL WHEN SHE’S GRIEVING

-        What the FUCK is thiiiiis

-        Is he dreaming or is this the shapeshifter tryna stay alive by granting Homelander some sick wish

-        Yikes I feel bad for Doppelganger

-        I am fascinated by whoever and whatever the fuck Black Noir is

-        MM sees right through everyone’s bullshit

-        I feel so bad for Annie

-        Ooooo Atrain getting fired

-        MM having to put up with Hughie and Annie having a we didn’t start the fire singalong 😂

-        Ok who’s in the weird group therapy sesh with these women with strange views on love

-        Vending machine date so cute

-        Omfg ahahahaha the girl with the Ed Sheeran tattoo

-        I really want to like Becca cause she stands up to Homelander but I can’t shake the suspicions about her

-        I feel bad for Butcher

-        Homelander is a scary good liar

-        Oh shit interviewer lady is pulling out the diversity questions

-        OH FUCK

-        HE’S OUTED MAEVE

-        Poor Maeve what the fuck

-        Ugh Stormfront

-        Shut your racist hole bitch

-        Oh shit Kimiko on the warpath

-        Frenchie! Kimiko listen to him he’s tryna help

-        MM is doing a lotta sharing this episode

-        Ohhhh something bad is gonna come out about this Liberty lady they’re looking for oh fuck

-        Wait WHAT. STORMFRONT IS LIBERTY

-        Stormfront is like 70????

-        She’s really good with social media for an old bird

-        Ohhh fuck Homelander is pisssssssssed

-        Christ you’d know Homelander was an only child

-        Bitch you better not be fucking Butcher over

-        I FUCKIN KNEW IT

-        BECCA YOU RAGING BITCH

-        Got her goodbye fuck then called the supercops on him cause he’s a little broken? FUCK BECCA

-        Oh no Annie don’t give Hughie the “we can’t do this” talk

-        Pick your emo ass up and stop being melodramatic

-        All these women are chatting to Kevin?? Why??

-        Also this most recent one is super weird

-        THEY WERE INTERVIEWING TO BE KEVINS WIFE

-        This cult thing is so fuckin weird omfg

-        KEVIN GET YOUR SAD BUTT OUT OF THE CULT

-        Oh gross not the Doppelganger shit again

-        Doppelganger is really bad at flirting

-        ….

-        WHAT THE SHIT

-        Nonononono don’t do the selfcest

-        Not even Homelander is that fucked up

-        This is super weird

-        Why is Homelander crying

-        OH SHIT HE KILLED HIM

-        Uhhhh are they doing a lesbian scene in a vcu movie

-        Christ that was terrible and way too on the nose

-        “Strong female lesbians”

-        Homelander you himbo fuck what other kind of lesbian do you get

-        I feel bad for Ashley

-        She just wants to do her job well

-        Poor Butcher. His lil heart is broken

-        Oh no baby you’re hurt and upset? That’s so sad let me suck your dick about it

-        Oh no what’s he gonna do

-        BUTCHER WHAT THE SHIT

-        I mean it’s really fuckin hot but still

-        There’s always a cut on the cheekbone

-        “They’ve been moving her around like a Catholic priest” omg HUGHIE

-        Aww he called Hughie his canary

-        Oh shit are Frenchie and Kimiko missing?

-        KEVIN GOT MARRIED

-        BILLY HAS AN AUNTIE

-        Doggiiiiie

-        Awwwww soft Butcher with his dog

-        Aaaand now I feel bad for Atrain cause he’s being kicked to the curb

-        Oh gross this interview with Kevin and his cult wife

-        This is so cringe holy fuck

-        Bring back the Patton Oswalt gills

-        Why are the gangsters discussing musicals specifically Hamilton

-        FUCKING HELL KIMIKO PEELED OFF THAT GUYS FACE

-        Ahahaha the boys showed up at Butchers aunties house

-        The dog’s name is Terror that’s so cute

-        Hahahaha Hughie was holding the fuck pig

-        Why is there a sniper on the roof

-        Oh shit it’s Black Noir

-        Ugh what does Annie’s mom want and why is Stormfront being her friend

-        Oh hey it’s dickless

-        These two writer dudes are hella irritating

-        Poor Elena getting dragged into this shit

-        Yes Maeve scheme against his ass

-        Heartbroken Butcher is so tired

-        He needs a hug

-        Hughie give Butcher a hug please

-        Why is Kimiko in a church

-        Oh hey its Frenchie’s other girlfriend

-        Oh ok Kimiko is doing hits that’s fair

-        The old man just looking away like “I do not see it”

-        Aw no Frenchie don’t break up with Kimiko

-        Oh fuck off Cult Kevin

-        Stormfront again?????

-        Does this bitch ever fuck off

-        DID SHE JUST CALL ATRAIN GARBAGE

-        Wait why is Homelander giving an unapproved speech

-        This is gonna end in someone getting murdered isn’t it

-        OH FUCK

-        That’s a lot more murder than I expected

-        Ohhhh phew ok he was just daydreaming

-        Ashley is gonna go bald from stress

-        I adore grumpy Butcher

-        Omg auntie Judy is a drug dealer I love her

-        Ohhhh shit Homelander is having a nervous breakdown

-        BOBBY FROM X-MEN????

-        Uhhhh why is Homelander talking to Stormfront this can’t be good

-        Ooh MM set a trap this gon be good

-        BUTCHER HAS A BROTHER???? THAT HUGHIE IS LIKE

-        Oop Lenny is dead

-        The random explosions as Black Noir trips the traps

-        Oh shit Butcher locked the others out to face Black Noir alone

-        YES MM

-        OH NO MM

-        YES HUGHIE

-        Oh fuck did he KO Butcher

-        Shiiiit shit shit shit

-        Yes Butcher save your Hughie

-        Oh good they all survived

-        For fuck sake Kevin stop with the cult shit

-        Maeve please save Kevin from the cult

-        Annie why are you sneaking around don’t do it

-        There’s a lot of shots of Annie’s bum

-        What the fuck is Sage Grove

-        Stormfront needs to go choke on a bag of dicks

-        Oh fuck no not Homelander again

-        Uhhhhhhh

-        Stormfront x Homelander was not what I was expecting

-        These two have the WEIRDEST relationship

-        They’re gonna do some really fucked up supe bdsm shit aren’t they

-        Frenchie is Betty White. Fair enough

-        Wait what is happening. Why is Annie letting Frenchie at her with a lil saw

-        Ohhh the chip

-        “This might sting a little” FRENCHIE IT’S A FUCKIN SAW

-        Oh fuck that’s a big chip

-        Oh look it’s loves psychotic dream

-        Well that’s suitably gross

-        Aww Kimiko hugging Annie

-        Butcher is so menacing I love him

-        Kevin tryna be helpful to his buddies he’s so cute

-        NO! NO BAD KEVIN! STOP TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE JOIN YOUR CULT

-        Kimiko with her brass knuckle

-        Oh man, flowers??? Homelander has it BAD

-        Annie back the fuck off and leave Butcher alone

-        OH SHIT IT’S STORMFRONT AT THE HOSPITAL NOOOO

-        What the fuck is going on at this hospital

-        OH FUCK BOBBY FROM X-MEN IS LAMPLIGHTER

-        Oh shit who got let out

-        What does Cindy do

-        OH SHIT SHE’S THE HEAD BURSTER

-        Aaaaaaand now they’re all out

-        Good job, guys

-        Ewwwwww acid vomit

-        OH NO HUGHIE

-        Are you kidding me?? Annie can’t go all Starlight unless there’s a power source in the immediate vicinity??

-        What kinda fuckin shite superpower is that

-        Aha Butcher agrees with me

-        Ok so I’m guessing Homelander went berserk on set

-        Uhhhh apparently Cult Lunch is a therapy sesh?

-        Atrain get outta there

-        This cult leader guy is an arsehole

-        Hospital escape lookin like a horror survival game

-        Awwww flashbacks to happy times

-        Omfg Butcher with the slicked back hair

-        Welp, Annie just killed a guy

-        Oh shit a baby seat

-        Annie is gonna have a bad case of the guilts now

-        Oh fuck ok Lamplighter killed the kids by accident

-        So Frenchie went to save his friend instead of tailing

-        Oh god that’s the penis isn’t it

-        Stormfront to the…rescue? Maybe? She’s gonna kill Lamplighter isn’t she

-        Oh, no ok she didn’t kill him

-        Aw no sad Butcher cause Hughie’s hurt

-        Oh nooooo Elena found a video from the plane

-        Mallory gon kill sad Lamplighter?

-        Stormfront is coming clean to Homelander? Whaaaa

-        She was buddies with the Nazis??? SHE WAS MARRIED TO THE VOUGHT FOUNDER GUY

-        Oh fuck the head burster is still alive

-        A montage of how Stormfront is brainwashing people into racist attacks, nice

-        I hate Annie’s mom so much

-        Black Noir has just fuckin LAMPED Annie

-        Butchers mum called him 😂😂

-        Oh shit his dad died

-        Why are Hughie and Lamplighter watching knock off supe porn

-        Oh boy a racist rally

-        Homelander just threw Annie under the bus

-        Hughie that’s a really weird pep talk

-        And he’s gonna get Lamplighter killed

-        BUTCHERS MUM IS ADORABLE

-        Oh shit it’s Denethor

-        And he’s not dead

-        Oh fuck he’s why Lenny died?

-        Shit Lenny shot himself

-        Butcher was SAS???

-        WHERE ARE MY PICS OF BUTCHER IN HIS ARMY UNIFORM

-        Ah fuck he’s bringing stepmommy Stormfront to meet the kid

-        I have an urge to run my fingers through Butchers beard

-        Frenchie and Kimiko are too cute she’s teaching him her sign language

-        Is this a cult birthday party?

-        Poor Eagle the Archer. He pissed off the cult so he’s gon be excommunicated

-        Uhhhh kiddo made a Lego film?

-        Good for him

-        I know it shouldn’t be sexy when Butcher starts threatening to brutally murder people in his growly voice, I know, but hear me out: sexy growly voice

-        11/10 would let Karl Urban murder me

-        Oh FUCK Lamplighter killed himself

-        Poor Hughie

-        Why do all the bad things happen to him, like having to saw off a dead guy’s hand with a broken whiskey decanter

-        Annie versus Black Noir, beat his/her ass girl!

-        HUGHIE COME SAVE YOUR ANNIE

-        YAY MAEVE

-        Black Noir has an almond allergy that’s such an off the wall weakness

-        Annie’s favourite chocolate bar saved her life

-        Well Maeve did, technically. But still

-        Omg Hughie accidentally saving Annie’s mom

-        Hughie and Annie are too cute

-        Oh shiiiiit Homelander screwed the pooch and showed the kid everything

-        HAHA SUCK IT BECCA

-        OH SHIT HEADS ARE BURSTING ALL OVER THE PLACE

-        Butcher in his lil jumper

-        For a non-American, this school safety psa video is supremely weird

-        BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS CALLED BOB

-        BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS JUST BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURAL BUT FANCY

-        Annie’s mom critiquing her choice in boyfriends while in mortal danger is gas

-        And typical

-        The lads going nuts with weapons they’re so happy look at them

-        And Butcher in his lil jumper again he looks so comfy

-        I would very much like to cuddle him in the soft jumper and give him beard scritches

-        Annie ffs let Hughie enjoy his Billy Joel, that’s a good choice

-        Ahahaha Maeve just called Hughie a twink

-        She’s not wrong

-        Oh fuck off Becca

-        Uuuuugh OF COURSE Mr Edgar is in with the cult

-        Oop Atrain overheard all of that

-        Poor Ashley she’s going bald from stress

-        The kid is gonna have a meltdown

-        Poor Hughie with his mom leaving

-        I wonder if she’ll pop up at some point and turn out to be a supe that would be fun

-        ATRAIN YOU CAN’T JUST APPEAR IN A CAR LIKE THAT YOU COULDA KILLED SOMEONE

-        Hold the phone is Homelander actually being a good dad for a minute

-        What the actual fuck is Stormfront on with this white genocide shit

-        Ahahaha the news broke

-        Uh oh the Vought soldiers got caught by Homelander

-        OH SHIT

-        MM BETTER BE OK

-        Becca fuckin constantly squawking about Ryan is so annoying

-        WHY IS KIMIKO LAUGHING

-        It’s adorable but still

-        Oh FUCK she snapped her neck

-        She’ll be fine

-        She’s like a wolverine, snapped neck won’t keep her down

-        AYYYYY MAEVE

-        The lads just watching them kicking the shit out of her like uhhh

-        Oh hey Becca did something useful and stabbed the Nazi in the eye

-        Huh. The kid melted Stormfront

-        Good for him

-        AHAHAHA YES HE GOT BECCA TOO

-        BYEEEEE FELICIAAAAA

-        I mean yeah, heartbroken sad Butcher isn’t nice to see, but Becca sucked

-        Aaaand now Homelander covered in blood has arrived to listen to Stormfront babble in German

-        This is like in those scenes where it’s like oh who will the dog go to

-        Ayyy Atrain got back into the 7

-        Aww poor Kevin getting rejected again

-        See Kevin this is why we don’t join cults

-        Annie thought he was breaking up with her, girl don’t be daft

-        Butcher and the kid, not awkward at all

-        The one lesson Butcher can teach a kid – “don’t be a cunt”

-        Aww happy endings for all the boys

-        Aaaaand a “happy ending” for Homelander too by the looks of it

-        Oh ffs a corrupt politician in with the cult, what a surprise

-        HIS HEAD BURST

-        Wait the politician lady is the head burster? I’m so confused

-        Confusion may have been aided by it being almost 3am

-        Hughie getting a real job, bless him

-        Too bad it’s with the head burster

-        Oh this is such a good song to end the season with

-        Welp, now begins the long wait for season 3, I guess

-        Should I sleep or find fic to read

-        Body says sleep, heart says fic

-        That’s a lie, heart says Butcher

-        ….Butcher fics it is

#theboys #theboystv #theboysmemes #theboystextposts #I'm back with more insanity #middle of the night is probably not a good time to be texting but hey ho #I'm still a shameless ho for Billy Butcher #that's so sad let me suck your dick about it #I mean like damn #Karl Urban doesn't mess around when it comes to thirst trapping #I need season 3 like yesterday #amazon please #the boys #season 3 #I need it

[chibinekochan]

Um first of all wanted to say THANK YOU AMAZING AUTHOUR! Your work 10/10 👌 - also can I request a hc to the boys reacting to mc being put under a love potion, (Solomon casting it, mayhaps as a prank) but you act normal bc you already love them (true love stuff) idk I thought it would be very fluffy and cute.

Thank you so much, that is very sweet of you! 

Solomon would do something like this, shady wizard.

Asmodeus 

He is very aware of the spell, and its effects. 

Not that he ever needed to use this. 

Asmo is a little disappointed when it has 0 effect on you. 

Not that he would take advantage of you but he wouldn't mind to see you flirting with him. 

He is wondering if it doesn't work on humans, but he has seen it working before. 

What other reason could there be? 

Asmo read through the spells description and there it says, it will not work if you are already in love with the first person that you see. 

Seeing as you two are alone right now, that can only mean one thing. 

You are in love with him! Wait a second. 

Asmo feels strangely shy about this, so unlike him. 

There is only one way to know for sure. 

That is, of course, to ask you. 

"Hey say are you in love right now?" 

"You mean from the spell? I don't feel any different."

"No, I meant before that spell was cast." 

You get a bit shy. "Well I mean you know…"

"Please be honest with me."

You turn red. "Yes, I am in love right now."

Asmo knows this is a bit silly to ask bit he has to know. "So the person that you love is in this room right?" 

"Yes." You feel very shy but this might be a good opportunity to confess your feelings. "And before you ask the person I love is you." 

Asmo is a bit taken aback. He had no idea. I mean he likes you obviously and yes you two have been flirting and enjoying time together. Well now where he really thinks about it, all the signs were there. Maybe he just never thought you would fall in love with him. 

"So what about you Asmodeus?" You ask a bit shyly, hoping he feels something for you too. 

"I love you too of course. Sorry I was just a bit surprised that's all." He smiles widely and hugs you tightly. 

He will not do anything else for now, just in case the potion had an effect on you after all. 

Satan

In a twist of fate he made a love potion for Lucifer to drink, to embarrass him of course. 

Sadly you somehow thought it was lemonade and drank it. 

Satan is very worried about its effects, and slightly curious how you would be when you are love drunk.

Soon he notices that there is no change at all. 

Satan is a bit confused, he double and triple checks the ingredients and the brewing method but he did everything correctly. 

That only leaves one option : You already love him!? 

He has to let that sink in for a minute and then blushes. 

Satan has to know to be sure. "Hey this might be a strange question, but are you in love with someone?" 

"Huh, why do you ask?" You have no idea why Satan asks. 

"Well, you see this love potion doesn't work on someone who is in love." 

You start to feel embarrassed. "I mean I meant to tell you before but yeah I love someone. That someone is you. I love you Satan." You fidget a bit and turn red. 

Satan blushes as well. He was hoping for this but was honestly afraid of your answer. 

He smiles and takes your hand to calm you down. "I'm very glad to hear this. To be honest I love you too."

Now you are both bright red and smile happily. 

He will wait until the potion has no effect anymore and then asks you to date him officially. 

You agree and soon you find Satan telling anyone that you confessed your love to conveniently leaving the lovepotion out if his story. 

Leviathan

He has this collectors item lovepotion and honestly expected it to be fake. 

To your credit it looks just like a bottle of the anime themed soda that Levi currently drinks. 

You accidentally fill your cup with it and Levi's. 

You both drink it and it tastes kinda strange but to be fair most of his soda does. 

Leviathan, at least, doesn't notice. 

Later your cups are empty and Levi is filling you both up. 

He gets pale when he sees the open bottle of lovepotion. 

"Ahhh look at this!" He runs over to you, bottle in hand. "It's a lovepotion! Do you know what that means???" 

You are slightly confused. "Wait, I thought it was soda and a lovepotion? Come on, that does not really exist, right?" 

"It's genuine, trust me I know the ingredients. What are we doing now? WE SHOULD CALL AN AMBULANCE!" Levi has half of a panic attack. 

"Alright, first of all we should calm down. I mean I don't feel any different then usual. Do you?" 

"No, but who knows I mean I never took a lovepotion before. So you really feel nothing at all when you look at me? No faster beating heart or sudden urge to kiss me?" Levi seems mostly concerned but also flustered to ask you. 

"Well not more than usual at least." You blush and hope that Levi doesn't notice. 

"Wait, no more then usual? D-don't tell me… don't me you ACTUALLY… no wait you can't actually like… LIKE ME?" Levi has no clue how to react to this. 

"I don't know if now is the right time but I really like you a lot. You know not just as a friend." You feel a bit shy about confessing it right now, especially when you don't know if Levi is feeling some effects from the potion. 

Levi goes beet red. He didn't see this coming whatsoever." Oh, I thought it was just me OMG. What, like, seriously, are you seriously sure about this? I mean is this like in -  TheonetimeIbecamefriendswithademonwhowasactuallyveryniceandthenheturnesouttobeanerdandnowwesomehowgotengadedbutitisverynice?" 

"Yeah it's just like that Levi, but what about you?"

Levi still seems only seconds away from fainting. "I mean I really like you too and it's not the lovepotion. I mean you are awesome. The best thing that has ever happened to me. I mean look at me, are you really sure that you like me?" 

"Of course, I like you and it's not just that. I love you Leviathan." You smile softly at him. 

Levi gasps for air. He feels like fainting. He never thought that you could love him. 

"Really y-you l-l-love me-me?" 

"Yes, I really love you Levi. What can I do to prove it to you?" 

Levi waves his arms around. "Wait, hold on a second just… I mean wait, I need to mentally prepare myself." He takes a few breaths to calm himself down and to assure himself that this is happening. 

"Alright, you know you are my best friend right? Like a really super real best friend and I don't want to mess this up. You know… So I just gonna say this now: I love you too!" 

Levi is far from calm, he is bright red. 

You've never been more in love with him than in this very moment. "You will always be my best friend Levi. We take it slowly, step by step. How about a hug for now?" 

Levi agrees and you both hug for a while. 

It feels very good. 

Levi asks you later if you are still sure about this and you kiss him on the cheek. 

Well that settles that. 

Mammon

The spell gets cast on everyone else, but Mammon knows how this works and closes both of your eyes. 

Then somehow gets you both out of the room. 

He does not care about the chaos behind him. 

Mammon just doesn't want you to go fall for some random demon or his brothers. 

It's not gonna happen!

You are slightly confused but Mammon doesn't pull his hand from your eyes, but he also has his own eyes covered. 

So to nobody's surprise he falls over something, and you look at him and help him up. 

Well not that he minds that you fall for him now. 

It might be from a spell but hey it's better than nothing. 

Just to be safe he brings you to your room and then locks the door behind you two. 

Obviously the spell has no effect on Mammon, he has been under your spell for a long time. 

Not that you have to know that part. 

"Mammon, what just happened?" You feel slightly lost. 

"Well, that shady wizard just had to show his skills to everyone. Beats me but we are safe now. How do you feel?" 

Mammon keeps a slight distance between you two, as funny as it would be to have you all over him it just wouldn't be right. 

"Pretty normal. What kind of spell was that even?" 

"You sure no strange urges? Wanting to pounce me or something like that?" Mammon feels only slightly disappointed. 

"Pounce you? Why would I want to do that?" 

"Hahaha yeah, good question beats me… so um really nothing unusual?" Mammon keeps probing, what is he even hoping for right now? He has no idea. 

"I feel normal so will you tell me what is going on?" 

"Well Solomon cast a love spell. A pretty powerful one too. So you should feel very attracted to me right now." 

"Lovespell? Are you kidding me? Wait, wouldn't you be in love with me too?" You aren't sure if this is some prank that Mammon has pulled. 

"Well that is you know…Ummm well… AhAh yeah I'm too powerful. So it doesn't work on me."

"So Lucifer is fine right now?" 

"Ahahaha yes of course."

"So if I go back he will be completely normal?" You can see that Mammon isn't telling the truth. 

"No-No don't go, please just stay here." Mammon is sweating bullets. 

"Mammon tell me the truth!" 

He sighs. "Fine, look it doesn't work on people who are in love already."

"Wait does that mean that you love me?" You blush. 

Mammon blushes. "Hey, hey, don't jump to conclusions there."

You look at him slightly disappointed. "I thought you might feel the same way." 

"Hey, no unfair tactics like that! I mean, you know alright. You got me I admit it. I love you. Are you happy now?" Mammon looks shyly to the other side. He is confessing like he committed a crime. 

You chuckle slightly, he really is so cute sometimes. 

"Yes, thank you Mammon. I love you too." 

"No making fun of me!" He grumbles slightly. Then realization hits him. "Wait did you just say... That you love me too?" Mammon stares at you with wide eyes. 

"Yeah, of course. I love you very much!" You smile at him, glad to be able to finally admit it. 

Mammon is completely red now but he is smiling with a wide smile. 

"You know it took you long enough to say it." Mammon pouts only slightly. He is very happy right now. 

"Yeah, sometimes I'm a bit slow. So will you forgive me?" 

"Of course I will forgive you, but only this once and only if you give me a hug." 

You can tell how happy he is and you both smile like idiots. 

You give him a big hug. 

Mammon is truly glad that you both feel the same way. 

Beelzebub 

He somehow thought the lovepotion was seasoning. 

Beel uses it on the pizza he then shares with you. 

You are really grateful and it tastes really good. 

Then Solomon notices what happened and he is mortified. 

He informed you two and advises that you stay close but if anything strange happens to go into separate rooms right away. By the next morning you both will surely be normal again. 

So you you go into Beels room and wait for the promised effect. 

"It's been like an hour now, do you feel strange?" 

"No just a bit hungry but I couldn't finish eating the pizza."

"Same. Maybe we are immune?" 

"I have some snacks hold on."

"Thank you, but I meant I don't feel like I have fallen in love from the potion. Do you?" 

"Hmm I don't feel any different than usual. I mean I love you anyways so I guess I wouldn't notice the difference."

Your heart makes a small jump when you hear this. "You mean you love me like a sibling right?" 

"It's not the same as loving Belphie or my other brothers, you are different and special." Beel doesn't hesitate at all and you start to blush. 

 "You mean romantic love?" You just have to clarify. 

Beel thinks for a moment, trying to figure out what exactly you want to hear. "Yeah." He boldly states with a pleased smile, like he didn't have a word before to define the love he feels for you. 

You become a tomato. "I had no idea that you felt the same way about me."

Beel almost drops his bag of snacks. "Wait, you feel the same way?" 

"Yeah, I just thought, you know, we're more like a family, but we're not romantically involved."

"Ah, I see that was my fault since I never told you in a proper way." Beel nods knowingly. 

Then he looks you in your eyes and holds your hand. "I love you."

Your heart skips a beat. "I love you too Beel." You smile and hold his hand. 

You both feel very happy right now. 

Lucifer 

He is pretty annoyed that you got hit with the love potion that was clearly meant for him. 

Lucifer has some suspects but first he wants to take care of you. 

He brings you to his room, just to keep you from seeing anyone else. 

You have already seen him anyways and he feels responsible for this. 

So you just more or less sit in Lucifer's room while he checks for any effects on you. 

You feel completely normal. 

Lucifer would still rather keeps you in his room, just in case. 

He knows it should work on you by now, it's been 3 hours already. 

"So you don't feel any different from usual? No higher heart rate when you look at me? No sudden desire to kiss me? Nothing at all?" 

"No, Lucifer I told you already I feel normal." You feel a bit shy. 

"Are you honest with me?"

"It's no different than normal."

Lucifer steps closer to you, gauging your reaction. He looks deep into your eyes. "So you feel nothing at all when I'm this close to you?" 

Your heart beats louder. "It's not like I don't feel anything… I mean if you are this close of course I feel something. It's just not more than normal." 

"So, the symptoms I have described to you are normal to you?" Lucifer seems to probe you for some reason. 

You shift slightly around, avoiding his gaze. 

"Not normal per se. Just normal when it comes to you."

Lucifer seems to be very pleased with this reply, a small smile is on his face. 

Belphegor

He had planned to use the lovepotion to humiliate Lucifer. 

He didn't think that Lucifer would give you the tea, since apparently it's your favorite type.

Sadly, Belphie only notices it after you have already drank a cup.

Lucky enough he is the first person you see. 

Actually a pretty lucky twist of fate. 

He always wanted to see you being love stuck. 

Maybe even flirting with him. 

Belphie brings you to his room, with some sort of excuse. 

You go along since you enjoy hanging out with him. 

You both play a game and just enjoy being together. 

Belphie doesn't see a change in the way you behave at all. 

It's been like  2 hours by now you should be all over him. 

"What they say is, do you feel any different than usual?" 

"No, everything is normal. Why do you ask?" 

"Hmm are you sure? I mean you got no urge to kiss me or anything?" 

You blush, thinking he might have figured out how you feel about him. "No-no, not really. Is there a reason you ask?"

Belphie leans closer to you and looks you deep into your eyes. Causing you to blush more and slightly shift around. 

"Nothing really, but you do behave a bit suspiciously." Belphie looks at you like he wants to see into your mind. 

"You are the one that behaves suspiciously." You turn your head away from him. 

"So, if I would kiss you what would you say to that?"

"You shouldn't tease me like that. You might end up breaking my heart."

"Your heart? Now this is interesting."

"Stop playing around and tell me what is going on Belphie." 

He sighs. "Alright. You had some lovepotion but I guess it didn't work on you."

"What? Why would you give me that?" Hearing this is very upsetting to you. 

"I didn't mean to give it to you. Please, you have to believe me."

"Why didn't you just tell me? You promised to tell me everything." This stings a bit. 

Belphie can see that you are disappointed in him. "I'm sorry. I just thought it would be fun to see you flirting with me or being in love with me."

You shake your head. "I can't believe this Belphie. If you wanted that you could have asked."

"I can't just ask for you to fall in love with me."

"Well yeah, but you know what, I love you. You are really such an idiot sometimes."

You still feel pretty upset. 

"Wait, can you repeat that?" Belphie is taken aback by your casual confession. 

"The part of you being an idiot?" You pout. 

"I know that part, I mean the part of you loving me."

"I'm still mad at you, you know." 

"I know I'm really sorry. Please forgive me." He bows in front of you. He is very sincere. "Just please tell me if you still love me?" 

"I love you Belphie." 

He smiles at you. "I'm so glad to hear this." 

He seems very giddy. 

"So what about you?" You ask, a bit shy. 

"What about me?" He plays innocent. 

"Belphie, you are on thin ice." You playfully narrow your eyes at him. 

He laughs. "Alright. Alright." He takes a breath. "I love you."

You smile at him. "Was that so hard?" 

"Yes, it almost killed me." He smiles brighter than you have ever seen him. 

You smile too and then you hug. 

You stay together the whole night and talk for most of it.

Check my Obey me! Masterlist for more content

#obey me! #obey me shall we date #swd obey me #obey me one master to rule them all #solmare obey me #obey me headcanon #obey me demon brothers

[heartsywritesthethings]

Team 7 Training 2

Part 1 

“I just wanna get stronger so I can show Sasuke that we can be friends!” Naruto said, throwing a couple of punches at the air. His new sensei, Jiraiya, just stared at him fondly. While he admired the nine tails for his intense friendship with Sasuke, he was worried that it would break the kid’s heart to learn about the true betrayal. True, he had fought off several ninjas in order to fight off Sasuke himself, but he still had it in his mind that Sasuke was coming back. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to get strong so a certain lady friend will finally notice you? Ladies absolutely love strong ninjas like you.” Jiraiya offered, leaning back against a tree lazily as he watched his new pupil. Naruto turned a bright shade of pink and he quickly looked away.

“W-well, maybe that too. But mostly for Sasuke. And becoming the strongest Hokage the Hidden Leaf has ever seen!” Naruto exclaimed, jumping up high into the air as he mentioned his lifelong dream. 

“If you ask me, becoming strong for the ladies is far superior to all of those things. If you’re strong enough, you can get any girl you want in the village. In any village!” Jiraiya said, smiling at just the thought. Ah, all of those different girls. Each different village meant a different level of experience and kinks never before seen in the leaf village.

“You’re gross sometimes, pervy sage.” Naruto said, scrunching up his face in disgust. There was only ever one girl on his mind at all times and she already had her heart set on Sasuke. Maybe if he brought Sasuke back, she would realize how strong he was too and decide to choose him instead. That thought alone was enough to get the fire back into his heart.

“I really do hate it when you call me that,” Jiraiya grumbled to himself, but it wasn’t as if he could actually correct him on that front. Even some of the girls he had relations with admitted that he could be pervy at times.

“Alright, Pervy Sage! Let’s get to training already! I wanna know how to fight better and get Team 7 back together!” Naruto said excitedly before bouncing over to where his sensei was. Jiraiya always looked so bored, but that never really bothered Naruto. His first official teacher in the ninja arts was Kakashi and that man was just about impossible to read because of his mask.

“We’ve already trained so much today. Leave this old man alone to his thoughts.” Jiraiya whined, closing his eyes in hopes that Naruto would just leave him alone. Of course, that was like asking the kid to just stop breathing.

“If I leave you alone, all you’ll do is think gross thoughts, Pervy Sage. I still have a ton of energy and more to practice! Let’s keep going! Keep training!” Naruto said, bouncing up on the balls of his feet as he looked at Jiraiya with the widest eyes that he could. Even though the sage couldn’t see it, he could practically feel those puppy dog eyes piercing through his armor. 

Fine. If this kid wanted to train, they would train.

“Alright, kid.” Jiraiya sighed, opening his eyes begrudgingly.  Naruto jumped up high in the air with an excited yell. Where the hell this kid had the energy to do all of this was  beyond him. It was almost impossible for him to just keep up with his own pupil.

“What are we gonna learn today? Can you teach me how to make a lightning sword? Or maybe you could teach me to talk to bugs? Dogs? Oh! Foxes! I bet I would be really good at talking to foxes.” Naruto said excitedly, looking around as if any of those creatures would be available for him to attempt to control. Jiraiya rolled his eyes and picked Naruto up by his shoulders and walked him over to the nearest tree. 

“Oh! What are we doing now? Are you going to show me how to climb trees quietly? I can already do that since I am a top notch ninja.” Naruto said excitedly as his back was pressed against the bark of the tree. 

“Put your arms up.” Jiraiya said calmly. He did his best to hide his own smile. This would definitely tire the kid out.

“Uh, are you going to make me climb the tree backwards? I’ve never tried that before.” Naruto said, mostly to himself as his sensei wasn’t listening at all. 

Jiraiya took out a piece of rope from his pocket and began tying up his new student against the tree. He could practically hear the gears turning in Naruto’s head as he tried to make sense of what Jiraiya was doing. 

“Are you trying to see if I can get myself free? I totally can! Not that I would ever let myself be kidnapped like this. Being kidnapped doesn’t look good for a future Hokage like me.” Naruto said, already wiggling and struggling against the ropes. He couldn’t budge much, but Jiraiya wouldn’t doubt that the kid could get out if he really wanted to. 

“You are going to have to withstand certain torture methods without relying on your nine tails power.” Jiraiya said smugly, standing back and looking over his handiwork. Naruto paled slightly. 

“Uh…torture?” He squeaked out. His former energy immediately draining out as his mind went to the absolute worst torture methods that they had gone over in ninja class. Was his sensei really about to do those things to him just because he was asking for help.

Jiraiya held up a hand, seeing the panic in the kid’s face.

“Not like that, Naruto. Give me some credit as your teacher.” Jiraiya told him. 

Wow, what has this kid gone through to think that someone would immediately hurt him like this? Someone that he trusted? That would have to be addressed at some point in the future.

“Now, I’m going to tell you a word, and you are going to have to keep that word a secret from me. If you tell me before I stop, then you lose and we’ll have to do some more torture training and you’ll have to leave me alone for the rest of the night.” Jiraiya said, giving Naurto a pointed look with that last statement.

“There’s no way I’ll break! I’m Naruto Uzumaki! I’m going to be the greatest Hokage in the Leaf Village!” Naruto yelled out. His confidence boosted slightly, and he couldn’t let his sensei know that he was actually kind of scared of being tortured as a form of training. Jiraiya finally smiled. An evil smile that Naruto had never really seen before.

“Naruto, are you ticklish?” Jiraiya asked.

Oh. Naruto’s smile slipped ever so slightly. How in the world was he supposed to answer something like that? No matter how he responded, he was sure to get tickled. Instead of saying anything, he instead clamped his mouth shut. This was supposed to be torture training, right? Jiraiya chuckled to himself.

“You’re already in the right mindset, Naruto. Now, the word you’re going to keep from me is Ramen.” Jiraiya said, “You can back out any time starting now. All you have to do is say that word.”

Naruto opened his mouth to say something, but decided to close it. Jiraiya couldn’t help but chuckle. This was probably the only time this kid was quiet when he wasn’t eating or sleeping. Hell, he was still loud doing both of those things. Jiraiya went ahead and began his torture.

He began wiggling his fingers near Naruto’s elbows. Naruto immediately began focusing on not laughing. His face was honestly hilarious. Naruto was glaring at an empty space in front of him, scowling with intense concentration. 

“You can go ahead and say the word, Naruto.” Jiraiya hummed, moving his tickly wiggly fingers under Naruto’s arms. Small squeaks escaped Naruto’s lips and his face twitched as a smile fought to the surface. 

“You seem pretty ticklish, Naruto. You should probably go ahead and say what I need to hear so that I stop.” Jiraiya hummed. Truthfully, he was enjoying this. The lack of laughter seemed like a challenge. Now he had to make him laugh. Naruto shook his head furiously. He was going to get through this. He was going to be the Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village after all, he could withstand a few tickles.

Right?

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Jiraiya said, still tickling and occasionally pinching at Naruto’s armpit with one hand as he reached into his pocket with another. He pulled out a long purple feather and Naruto could practically feel all of his blood draining from his face. 

The feather lightly danced around one underarm while Jiraiya’s other hand continued to scratch and squeeze at the other.

“Wahahahahiihihihit!” Naruto giggled, shaking his head more wildly. He couldn’t hold back his giggles and his laughter anymore. The conflicting tickly feelings were driving him up a damn wall. This was somehow worse than when Kakashi and the other members of team 7 all ganged up on him. Maybe it was because now he was purposefully holding out for a reason. Before, he would just enjoy the tickles and laugh wildly, but now he had to hold back from yelling the one word that his body was screaming for him to yell. 

“Aw, that easy? Go ahead and say what I wanna hear then. Might as well since I can already tell that it’s going to get worse from here.” Jiraiya said with a shit eating grin on his face.

“NAAHAeheheahaver! Never!” Naruto laughed.

“Your funeral kid.” Jiraiya chuckled. 

Next was the ribs and sides. Jiraiya began pinching up and down Naruto’s ribs and sides. With each pinch, Naruto jumped and squeaked. It seemed that Jiraiya was planning out which ribs and spots on his body were the most sensitive. 

“Looks like here…. And here.” Jiraiya said, focusing on two very specific areas on Naruto’s body to attack now. One spot was the second upper rib on his left, and the other was just below his ribs on his right. Jiraiya began pinching each spot sporadically. 

“AHAHAHA SENSEI! NOHOHOHO ACK!” Naruto lauched, his heels digging into the dirt and grass underneath him as his body attempted to get away from those tickly fingers. No matter how much he wiggled, he couldn’t escape. Once he realized how futile fighting would be, he let out a giggly groan.

“Ah, finally realized that you’re stuck, huh?” Jiraiya said, talking a little louder in order to be heard over all of that laughter. “Wait, why didn’t you attempt to get out sooner? You knew what was going to happen, so why wait until now to struggle?”

“Shuahahahat UP! AHA! PEheheEHEHRvy SAGE!” Naruto laughed. He squeezed his eyes shut as the tickling feelings filled his body. Those weren’t even his worst spots and he was already going crazy.

“I’m starting to think that this may not be torture to you. Do you, Naruto Uzumaki, like being tickled?” Jiraiya said. He watched as his pupil turned a very bright shade of pink. Sure, it could easily be written off as just lack of oxygen, but Jiraiya had a feeling that wasn’t the case. 

“How about this. You admit that you like being tickled, and I’ll stop. The original word doesn’t count anymore.” Jiraiya said. Naruto immediately snapped his head up. He was still laughing and giggling, of course, but he was shocked.

“Never! Ihihihih’ll never fahahall for someTHIHIHIng sohhohoho stupid.” Naruto laughed, and managed to actually stick out his tongue at his sensei.

“So you really like being tickled because otherwise, you would have thought a little bit before doing that.” Jiraiya said.

Little did he know that little goes on in Naruto’s thoughts before he does anything. Oh well. The damage was done.

Jiraiya began targeting Naruto’s stomach now. The nine tails began to accept that this was how he was going to die. By the tickling hands of his sensei no less. It was all over. Goodbye Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi. Goodbye Ichiraku Ramen – he’d miss that the most in the afterlife.

Jiraiya was a little too good at this. The feather began swirling around Naruto’s belly button. The seal of the nine tails, though hidden now, seemed to be the most sensitive place on his body. Aside from his navel of course. Once that feather dipped inside and twisted around, Naruto lost it.

“RAMEEEEN! RAMEN RAHAHAHAMEN! PLEHEHEAAAAAAAAASENOTTHEREEEE!” Naruto screeched. While it did pain him to have to give up so quickly, this kind of tickling was just unfair. 

Jiraiya immediately pulled back. Even though he had changed up the rules, he didn’t want to actually kill his new student. Not yet anyways.

He untied Naruto and the blonde slumped to the ground. Jiraiya picked him up, tossing him easily over his shoulder. He walked Naruto over to his sleeping bag and set him down.

“Now, will you please go to sleep and leave me in peace?” Jiraiya asked. Naruto huffed out another laugh and curled up on his sleeping bag.

“I…still gotta…run three miles…then…I can sleep,” Naruto said between deep breaths. Jiraiya just stared at him. This boy just about had his soul tickled out of him and he still was up for a run? Three miles?

“I will never understand you, kid.” Jiraiya sighed, though he was warming up to having a student like Naruto. Maybe it would make all of the mistakes he had made in the past go away if he could do right by this crazy chaotic kid.

(17/25)

-GA!Babe

#25 Days of Fics #17/25 #submission #GA!babe #Team 7 Training #naruto #jiraiya #I will never be over the fact that jiraiya canonically uses tickling as an interrogation method #normally I'd tag more but I'm a lil overstimulated rn because I need my siblings to NOT HAVE A CONVO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY #like shhhh shut up go chat in your rooms or something too loud too much no bueno #anyway #my girl killing it again

[im-gettingby]

30 Days of Carry On

posted (and written by?) @captain-aralias

(I’m doing most of these at once because I said so. it’s long so under the cut)

1. Favourite major character

I literally thought — Simon no Baz no Penny no, Agatha!

I guess I will pick Simon, since I relate to him the most — or at least, my connection to him led me into the fandom.

2. Favourite minor character

I think we all know this one 🐑🐑🐑

I have written many a treatise on Lamb Rights. I’ll spare everyone now

3. Character you relate to the most

Oops— I already answered this, kinda. I relate to them in different ways: I relate a lot to WS Simon because he has abandonment issues and “kid who was told he was extraordinary and then grew up to be ordinary” issues. We also both have a “fix all the things for everyone” complex, too.

Baz — It took me a while to get into Baz’s head, but I would say, I relate to him because of his intense emotional world and tendency to see the world through an intensely romantic/tragic lens. But also he’s a Pisces. and I’d never do that like a Pisces does. (Sorry, not sorry.)

4. Which character would you like to go to lunch with?

SHEPARD obviously. I don’t feel the need to elaborate.

5. Favourite non-Snowbaz ship

Ooh! Probably Lamb/Baz or Simon/Shep or just...literally anything. Like, I will read anything as long as it’s well written. The weirder the better. (Within...legal and moral limits.) in my other fandoms I’ve been a big multishipper and there’s not a lot of options for that in CO - which is fine - but wholeheartedly support rarepairs :D

6. Favourite non-romantic OTP

So, obviously Simon/Penny and Baz/Penny are great ones, but I think the nearest & dearest to my heart is Simon/Agatha. The kind of siblings/unwillingly dating/weird exes dynamic and the way they both shaped each other’s lives is just so interesting. And while Simon & Penny are closer, Agatha and Simon represent their aspirational selves to one another. And the way that they were both tied to one another along with their gender roles/places in society and both broke away at the same time is just...mwah

7. Favourite Baz outfit

I honestly dress kinda like Baz. Anything involving a printed silk shirt or a floral brocade suit, so like, all of them? I love WS Baz, his fashion sense is so thoughtful yet fun. He’s so expressive with it — in the sense of both being guarded, being sexy, and playing with masculinity/femininity.

8. How do you feel about Wayward Son?

In case it wasn’t obvious, I absolutely love it. I mean, from a writing/narrative standpoint, I don’t think it’s the most elegant or engaging book ever written, but it’s just so raw and fresh. I don’t see many examples of an author trying to do what Rainbow did, which is build a complex emotional AND plot-driven story with so many characters and so much lore. I’m very excited for AWTWB.

9. Favourite scene from Carry On, besides Chapter 61

I like what the book does/sets up overall. Honestly probably the first scene, where Simon walks to the bus stop & takes the train and just thinks about his life and makes lists -- I love Simon. I know Rainbow said she thinks that bit is boring, but it honestly says so much about his character in a short time. (and he’s an extremely complex character!) Also, Baz’s dramatic entrance. Also, the chapter where Baz says “and I’m hopelessly in love with him” because it’s just so dramatic, and it comes out of nowhere

10. Favourite scene from Wayward Son, besides Chapter 41

Baz and Lamb’s journey across the Strip - vampire lore, jealous Simon, Baz getting to be his own character— it’s beautiful.

11. Remind us about something in canon readers might have forgotten about

Ahahaha um. Simon says he thinks Baz’s cousin Marcus is fit. That’s pretty funny.

12. What are your hopes and fears for Any Way the Wind Blows?

I don’t have any hopes because I don’t want to be disappointed - and that’s not a cynical thing, I just want to go into it with an open mind. (I’ll take a break from fandom and reread the books beforehand so I’m (more of) a blank slate) I guess just...interesting emotional journeys, whatever that ends up being. There’s a lot that Rainbow has to do in the book and I don’t think any one person could get through all of it -- that’s why we have fanfiction.

Fears? I don’t know. I think just...the series ending. Even though I’ve been in fandom for less than a year I just really love this fandom & the thought of that kind of eroding away is sad. But also I don’t think that will happen immediately, and change is a part of life. I’ve never related as much to Cath as I do now :’)

13. An unpopular/cracky opinion you hold

unpopular: Lamb is the best character; I don’t want Simon to get his magic back; both Simon and Baz should have other romantic options.

14. Something from your head fanon

Hmmmmmmm well. Just mean things about Baz really. Like that he’s weird looking, not that great at football, and actually has kind of garish fashion sense. (which is a self-roast as well - see above.) I just feel like Simon/fandom put him on a pedestal, and Simon’s an unreliable narrator re: Baz anyway. So I like the idea that Baz is this average looking kinda strange nerdy guy who is everything Simon has ever wanted in life.

And before you tell me that Baz was hot at Watford and Agatha was into him, have you ever been to a tiny boarding school? Standards get weird 😂😂😂 and Terry being into him — come on. The guy’s a violent pervert.

also - back to Watford being a tiny school. Baz doesn’t have much competition to be the star of the football team. (also, does anyone except Simon even think that he is?)

16. Favourite location other than Watford

Vegas!

17, Favourite location in Watford

I’m pretty bad at Watford lore/geography bc again, I’m way more into WS. Probably the floor in the Cloisters where everything happens the same way, just a day later. There’s a fic there, but I can’t wrap my head around all the time travel implications enough to write it.

18. What would be your favourite subject at Watford?

Any potions-esque subject because I loved chemistry lab. Latin because I loved Latin in school. Uhhhh I don’t like history class, so not that — maybe a literature course focused on the derivation of spells.

19. What would your magical implement be?

Ooh! This is a good one. I’d like to think it would be a weird body piercing. Or a belt a la Gareth. Maybe some kind of traditional south Asian jewelry, like a nose chain or mang-tikka or something. maybe a hat. like, imagine your magical instrument being a fedora and you just have to...wear a fedora all the time.

21. Favourite canon spell

Hm. Kiss it better? Candle in the wind?I should try to think of a non-horny one. honestly they’re all so cool and clever - I love the magic system in CO/WS.

22. What would your eighth year spell at Watford be or do?

Maybe something from a poem I love. That would probably be pretty but not very functional. Or a healing spell.

23. Who would you want as your roommate?

Agatha is uptight, Penny is passive aggressive, Simon is a slob, Baz is both uptight and passive aggressive.

Definitely Shepard.

24. Favourite item of merchandise, official or unofficial

My @subparselkie sticker

25. Favourite book cover design

WS. Oh, another unpopular opinion - I don’t like the kevin wada cover of carry on. their faces look so weird and the colors don’t work for me. I own the version with the blue and yellow cover art instead

26. Do you want a movie? If yes - any fan casts for the movie?

Probably wouldn’t want a movie! Because I am way too possessive of these books/this version of the story. And I am historically extremely disappointed by adaptations — I get upset with the smallest of changes 😂

27. If they made a movie, what scenes do you think they’d cut that you’d be furious were missing?

See above. A LOT haha

28. If you could ask Rainbow Rowell one question, what would it be? (If you have already, you can share if you like)

What is Lamb’s full name????? Is it actually Lamb Lambert Lamborghini the third???

What is Rainbow’s relationship with sheep and goats. Why are there so many references to them

29. Have you read any of Rainbow’s other books?

Only Fangirl

30. How did you get into Carry On and/or Carry On fandom?

I read fangirl & the pages at the end mentioned carry on, so I read that, and enjoyed it but I wasn’t obsessed. Then I read WS spring 2020, reread it a bunch of times, reread CO, freaked out about the cliffhanger/cool vampire stuff/unresolved sexual tension, had pandemic cabin fever, got on AO3, and the rest is history.

As @annabellelux knows, I wrote my first (published) fanfic after reading her amazing fic Drop The Game. and the first fanfic I read was @captain-aralias’ Greener Grass. I was so obsessed that about a month later, I searched through the AO3 tags for it, because I couldn’t remember the title or author but kept thinking about it.

#tag game #30 days of carry on

[theotheroccassionalfanficwriter]

Summertime Story

Summary: The Lantern Night people had come to visit town! Fireworks, food stalls, festival games! Helping Mammon pay off his debt! Underneath this festive atmosphere a single wish blossoms in your heart,

“I want this moment to last forever...”

Based on the Summer Festival Event.

Rated: T for Teasing Mammon about outdoor sex  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Tags: Established Relationship, Too Much Love for Mammon, Yearning, Love Words are: Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, with a dash of Receiving Gifts, B-I-N-G-O.

--

The day had begun in a peaceful manner, and you were enjoying a rare moment to yourself in which Mammon was not particularly in need of your affection, in this case it meant that the two of you were just holding hands underneath the dining table and eating breakfast with one hand. It was peaceful precisely because Levi wasn’t making a fuss over it, Belphie and Satan wasn’t throwing an oil tanker to the fire and neither was Lucifer frowning over it.

Summer had come into Devildom and it was officially, a few months since you had been part of the Exchange Program, and a few months since forming a pact with Belphie. During that time, you had done your best to juggle time between the six of them and pursuing Mammon. It had been a rough time, since more often than not your chances either backfired or Mammon himself would end up ruining it. However with the power of love (lol) you were able to successfully confess your love with help from Levi and Asmo and now Mammon and you were going steady for a total of three weeks.

And now you were enjoying a breakfast “date” with Mammon, skillfully ignoring the other background characters (lol). You had been tuning out the conversation, focused on the rare karaage Mammon had brought home last night for you, when your ears had heard the words “casino” and “debt” come out from Mammon’s mouth.

“Eh? You went to a casino without me?” You blurted out.

Which caught the attention of the others. Asmo already had the teasing look on his face as he said, “How cute~ Hey! Mammon how does it feel like having a girlfriend that attached to you?”

“I-It’s not fair! I want someone to say that kind of thing to me too!” Levi whined.

“I love you so much!” Mammon blurted out with a red face, an apology of sorts for not bringing you out with him to play.

“Hehehe... you’re so easily pleased aren’t you?” Belphie teased you as you snuggled up and melted into Mammon’s warm embrace.

You opted to ignore him and instead told Mammon, “If you needed money, you should have come to me!”

“Oi! You understand he’s like that because you keep on spoiling him right?” Satan said, worried at how easily you spoiled his idiot older brother.

“?”

The look of confusion on your face easily told him that you had become an idiot for love. But a quick glance at Mammon rubbing your face together and intermittently kissing your face in different places made him realize you still, at the very least, had your IQ points.

“Tch! Both of your deserved each other” Satan grumbled as he looked away at the sickening display of affection.

“Anyways! Please help me out with the stall!” Mammon begged, “I can’t just use my wife’s money like that after all.”

“I’ll ignore what you just called our Master but sure I’ll help you out~” Asmo agreed.

“I’ll do the same” Beel added.

“Me too” Levi spoke through gritted teeth.

“In that case I’ll do the same and head out for the library to figure out what stall we should do” Satan replied and headed out.

“Well, it seems like you’re having fun so I’ll do the same.” Belphie said before finishing up his breakfast.

“It’s rare to see all of you this cooperative” Lucifer commented as he watched with wide eyed disbelief that his troublesome brothers were cooperating this smoothly.

“We all probably have ulterior motives though...” You replied, still snuggled in Mammon’s hold and now being fed by him.

“We?”

You hummed and addressed Lucifer’s unsaid question,”Yep. I just want to spend time with Mammon.”

Hearing this words only invigorated Mammon’s love for you further and made Lucifer torn between exasperation and fondness for your love of Mammon. 

-

After the brainstorming session on the library, the whole lot of you with the exception of Lucifer started to practice making Candy Apples.

Carefully following Satan's instructions Belphie and you poured the sugar into the dyed water carefully. All of you watched in fascination as the sugar melted into the water.

"Hehe this feels like we're about to make poisoned candy apples~" You were amused at the thought of such mischief.

"Just be honest and say this feels like we're a couple of witches brewing poison" Satan outed your inner thoughts.

You turned your head around and gave him the kitty blep. Belphie had interrupted the fight before it could even escalate with a well-timed question,

"Should we stir it?"

"We probably should? I remember that burnt sugar tastes bad" You frowned as your brain recalled the taste of your burnt caramel pudding.

Your answer had led to Belphie to start stirring in panic. Mammon, your darling demon, in his impatience, grabbed the stirrer from Belphie's hand and began to stir enthusiastically.

"Oh crystals are forming?" Asmo looked at the cauldron, you took a peek as well and realized that there was indeed crystals.

'Ah...I messed up...' You looked sadly at the wasted efforts just as Belphie angrily asked,

"Whose idea was it to stir it?!"

Levi, your saviour, decided to shift the blame on Belphie. You sent him a grateful smile and secretly decided to pamper him a little bit more, once the opportunity arises.

"Let's just feed this batch to Beel" You told them as you took the tray away and delivered it to Beel.

"Ahahaha, you're treating Beel like a disposal unit!" Asmo laughed in amusement as he recalled all the times you had fed Beel your failed cooking and desserts that just didn't meet your standards.

You blushed as you remembered how much time the three of you had spent baking and cooking just so you could give a home-made lunch set to Mammon. It had ended in vain due to a mishap with a lower demon but you couldn't deny the happy feeling of Mammon eating the fallen spicy squid rice ball you had made for him.

"It's delicious! You should cook for me next time~!" He had teased you.

"This is just me being practical..." You hmphed at him and gently stomped your way out of the kitchen as they began to make a new batch.

When you were faraway enough to not overhear anything, Asmo chimed,

"She really does spoil all of us doesn't she?"

Mammon happily agreed, "Isn't she just the best!"

"Of course you'd say so, out of all us, you're the one she spoils the most!" Levi grumbled as he began washing a new batch of apples.

Satan hummed to show his agreement, "You must be so happy getting exactly the kind of lover you want."

Mammon blanked out for a moment before he remembered what Satan was talking about.

"I want someone who'd invest on me as much as I'd invest on them!"

He remembered the sticker you had sent at that time. Your cute and almost childish enthusiasm and your following comically rude disinterest at the following answers. It was in the early days of your stay when they were all interested in you, not as you were, but as a human they happened to be living with.

Mammon smiled softly and replied, "I am! That's why I'm doing this for her!"

Satan stared at him in shock.

-

You came back to see that others were resting while Belphie was still going at it.

"Anything I can do to help?" You asked him as you silently settled across him and stared into the cauldron.

"Keep me company? It's rare to see you and Mammon not attached to the hip." Belphie answered, soft smile gracing his lips.

You nodded your agreement and proceeded to talk to him about mundane stuff and the occasional gossip you would get from your succubi and incubi Tea Appreciation Club members. It was an open secret among your demons that the club was really just a front for Gossiping. And Diavolo allowed it simply for the fun and sometimes useful nuggets of information you'd tell him on your weekly report about the Exchange Program.

"Oh! I think you've got it down Belphie!" You noticed the perfectly melted candy and Belphie happily ordered you to prepare the tray of apples.

"Aye aye, Captain!" You saluted him and then quickly assembled the tray and watched him pour the candy over the apples.

The two of you watched the candy dry in glee and cheered.

“Let’s do the next batch?”

“Let’s take a taste test first,” Belphie replied as he took one candy apple and gave it to you “Here, take it.”

You gingerly took the apple and happily took a large bite on the side. You closed your eyes and gleefully savored the sweetness of the candy that worked well with the light sourness of the green apple.

“Is it delicious?” Belphie asked.

“Yep! You should have a bite!”

You moved the apple towards him and Belphie took a bite on the opposite side. Seeing him eat the apple made you laugh as you remembered the story of Eden. Belphie had looked at you in confusion and you explained,

“Bit on the nose isn’t it?”

You smiled and gestured to him, the apple and then yourself, “A demon, an apple and a woman.”

Realization sinks in and Belphie laughs lightly. “Well the apple certainly wasn’t green at that time.”

Your eyes widen at the implication of Belphie’s words however he refuses to elaborate what he meant.

-

The next couple of days were spent building and designing the stall. It had been fun painting the sign board, coming up with the prices just on the side of a little bit pricey without outright scamming the festival goers, flirting with Mammon, convincing Lucifer to let Diavolo drop by (Barbatos had seen through your attempt at free advertising), and scheming to get Lucifer's fan club to drop by (Lucifer had caught wind of it and you were given an impromptu running exercise). As the final preparations came to a finish, you couldn't help but ask a few questions about the festival itself,

"Ne ne Satan~" You poked at Satan's arms "Do you know if there would be fireworks shows at the end?"

Seeing your inquisitive look Satan began telling you what to expect at the Festival,

“These demons have different culture than the ones you typically see at RAD, theirs share a commonality with the human world’s Japanese Culture. An example would be the food stalls and the game stalls, the clothes called Yukata, animal masks, fireworks show and of course the Bonfire dance.”

“What’s the differences then?” You asked.

“Well...I guess the difference lies on the intent behind the bonfire dance?” Satan mumbled as he held his chin with his hand in thinking position, “Up there, the humans do the Bon Dance to guide their spirit ancestors to the underworld, in here the Lantern Night folk lights the fire to welcome those who arrived.”

“Lord Diavolo rents them an entire mountain range to use for this occasion,” Lucifer added “Though this event had always been here even before we arrived.”

“Then it’s just sad Dia-chan never got around to drop by until now~” You frowned at the thought that it took a long time before Diavolo even considered to drop by the festival until you invited him (with harmless ulterior motives that Barbatos let go).

“Dia-chan?” Lucifer repeated with a thunderous expression on his face.

“Get over it, I’m his human best friend.” You told him non-nonchalantly and wandered off to help and flirt (again) with Mammon.

The day of the festival arrived and as all of you were preparing to head out, Asmo had arrived with presents.

“Oh! Is it food?” You asked excitedly, trusting that Asmo knew your tastes by now but seeing the pout on his face you knew that any hope of having a light snack on the way was null.

“It isn’t! Jeez, why are you like Beel whenever someone gifts you something?” Asmo whined and you laughed at him.

“Because food is life.” You answered and then winked at Beel who was happy to support your claims.

“So what present did you get for us?” You asked once you had your fun and let Asmo do his thing.

“Ta-da~! Levi and I made clothes for us to wear at the festival~!” Asmo handed out the paper bags to the rest and presented yours with a flourish, “This one was specially made for you~ I had to hunt down the exact fabric and accessories just to make it come true!”

Seeing the proud look on his eyes, you happily praised Asmo and then some. You didn’t forget to praise Levi as well and happily watched his face turn red from embarrassment with your heaps of praise before inviting him to cosplay with you sometime.

“Hehe~” You hid your giddiness behind the wide and long sleeves of the soft white kimono. Admiring the detailed phoenix embroidery on the left side, while pink hand painted cherry blossoms littered at the bottom of the hems. the thin gold threads that formed clouds made it sure that the phoenix was soaring upwards.

“Thanks a lot, Asmo! I really like this!” You thanked Asmo once more before praising him for his cuteness and assured him he’d be a body breaker with how good he looked.

As each of the brothers went out to show their festival clothes, you made sure to praise each and every single one of them. Naturally, Mammon received most of your praise and appreciation, you made sure to thank Asmo once more for his nice assist. 

“Mammon you look so handsome in your yukata!” You praised your boyfriend and made sure that he knew you were throwing very appreciative looks on his well-toned abs even if it was partially covered by bandages. You even patted his chest, taking the chance to grope his firm pectorals.

“Oi! Do that kind of thing at our bedroom!” Mammon lightly admonished you, as he gently grabbed your wandering hands and held you tightly against him.

“We can do it too if we find a dark secluded place in the forest...” You whispered to him and then loudly added, “You can grope me too if you want~! I’m allowing you to do so! Actually please do so!”

“Oi! Don’t tempt me here!”

You laugh at his agitation and kiss him before quickly running away with Asmo and Levi on tow.

-

After setting up the stall, you and Mammon were on the first shift. You watched in amazement as Mammon turned on his charms and easily sold the first two pieces of Candy Apples. You silently thanked your lucky stars that your Mammon wasn’t a ladies man but was instead just as utterly devoted to you as you were towards him.

“Hey, you should try calling out for customers too” Mammon gently nudged you to call out for customers and you gathered up your courage to at least contribute to the sales.

“Hey, Handsome!” You called out to the fox demon, “Come try our glossy candy apples!”

“Is there anything special about it?” The fox demon asked you.

Your mischief senses tingling to make a sale made you answer, “The special thing about it is that we sell it as a pair! Give the other half to the one you like and you’re guaranteed to have a wonderful event~!”

The fox demon blinked at you and hesitantly asked, “How did you— ”

“Handsome Fox-sama~ Our apples are guaranteed to help you have a beautiful memory from this event~ also seeing how much effort you put in tonight, a little luck from Enmusubi-sama won’t hurt!” You winked at him and you knew that he had fallen for your sca—sales speech.

“Then I’ll take two, please!”

“Here you go~! Two candy apples to go!” Mammon wonderfully assisted you and the two of you spent the shift doing excellent sca—sales work.

As the shift came to an end, Mammon began asking you what you wanted to do. You thought about it for the moment and said, “I want to see all the stalls while holding hands with you! And I want to see if they have fortune telling stalls too!”

Mammon blushed at your words and shyly said, “O-ok! As a reward for doing well, I’ll take you around and do everything that you want!”

“Then in that case I’d like to add that I want to dance with you around the bonfire. watch the fireworks with you at the end of this festival, and share a kiss that could lead into something else with you in a dark secluded space.” You looked at him in the eyes, conveying the seriousness of your wish.

“The-the last one might just be a bit...”Mammon trailed off as he stammered and felt his face heat up.

You made sure to show him your well-honed (courtesy of Asmo) puppy-dog eyes. And boosting up your charm just to get a sweet, passionate kiss from Mammon like both of you were part of a shoujo manga special.

“Grah! I got it! I got it! I’ll ki-kiss you at the end of the fire works show so stop giving me those eyes already!”

“Hurry up and leave you shameless PDA couple.” Satan told both of you off with dead fish eyes.

You did as Satan said and quickly pulled Mammon away from the stall to start of the date. The two of you idled around, sampling snacks and feeding each other.

“Here, have a drink. You’ve earned it” Mammon placed the cup of iced tea in your face and you took a sip from the straw.

‘Indirect kiss~ get!’ You thought happily as you drank.

“You did really great compared to how you used to be when talking to other demons” He praised you as you finished taking a drink, he tucked in the stray strands of hair away from your face and you blushed at the intimacy of his actions.

“It was all thanks to you...”

You looked away from his loving eyes, and squeezed his hand tight. You knew that most changes you had could be attributed to Mammon and your never ending desire to keep his eyes on you.

“Wh-what’s with this cute act!? Do you want a kiss or something?” He stammered and you could only shyly snuggle closer to him and nod slightly.

“Yes, please.”

Mammon leads you away from the crowd and prying eyes, the two of you were now tucked behind the stalls and Mammon’s hand was gently cupping your face.

“You’re really spoiled you know that?” He complains and yet his eyes were soft and fond of you.

You had always heard that eyes were the window to the soul and Mammon’s eyes told you everything he felt for you. And as always you couldn’t help but drown in them. You watch his face get closer to yours and you closed your eyes as his breath mingled with yours.

Mammon’s kisses would always begin in this way, soft and cautious. Always giving you a chance to pull away, even if everything in you would always seek him out, he kisses you like you were something infinitely more precious than the gems and countless treasures he stored away from the House of Lamentation. He kisses you in a way that never allows you to doubt for a single moment that you weren’t important.

He pours everything that he feels into his kisses and you accept all of it and give him back everything that you are. You drown in his love and let yourself grow weak in the knees and Mammon, your devoted demon, never fails to catch you and hold you close to him.

-

The rest of the shifts you had were a blur of events as your mind kept on wandering to the kiss Mammon gave you behind the stalls. It had felt different and you didn’t know why. This in turn made the situation feel like it was the start of the Exchange Program once more, and everyone but Mammon could see that you were crushing on him. The difference was that this time Mammon was aware of the blush on your cheeks, the reason behind your increased heartbeat and coquettish looks that you’d send to him.

He would without fail take his chances to payback for all of the times you’d tease him and you would take it like a champ even if you stammered or blushed your way through it.

Levi who couldn't stand it anymore got fed up and told the both of you to go PDA somewhere else.

“Be back before the fireworks show.” Lucifer said as Mammon took you away and proceeded to do everything that you asked of him.

The two of you garnered attention with your matching themed festival clothes, the dragon and the phoenix. Female demons would sigh and look at envy with the careful and gently way Mammon treated you, his doting and affectionate looks towards you made you feel muddle-headed while increasing the envy of the female demons. 

The unsatisfied female demons who were single made up their mind to buy the blessed candy apples, while the ones who weren’t glared at their useless lovers and asked why they can’t be treated as sweetly as you. Thus, every demon that got criticized for not being as romantic as Mammon silently cursed your boyfriend in their heart, you were oblivious to this of course.

The two of you drank the free cup of sweet sake given away for those who got their fortunes told, and continued to leisurely walk around the stalls while holding hands. You spotted a stall selling couple charms and asked, “Can we check out that stall? I want to buy matching charms.”

Hearing the word “Matching” Mammon began walking towards the stall and enthusiastically began picking the ones that would look best for the both of you. Among the numerous charms you saw a pair of maneki neko and took it. Examining it carefully for damages, you turned to Mammon and said, “Darling, what about this?”

“Hm? What does it do?”

The vendor seeing her chance answered Mammon, enticed by the idea of gaining more luck when it comes to money, he bought it for the two of you. As all vendors of charms are to do, the crow demon lady also advertised a red thread of bracelet as a couple charm. Knowing the lore behind red threads, you shyly handed over twice the amount and bought it for you and Mammon.

Both of you thanked the lady demon and went off. You were admiring the woven red thread bracelet on your wrist, adoring the idea that you had tied your fate with Mammon. Seeing how happy you looked at something that was cheap, Mammon wondered if the bracelet you had tied to his wrist meant something deeper but he remained silent and instead opted to admire the pleased look of your face and fell in love with you all over again.

He tugged you closer to him and bent down a little bit to whisper to your ear, “ The bonfire dance is about to start, let’s go?”

Your ears reddened at the warmth of his breath and you remembered the kiss again, you could only weakly lean against him and nod your head. Mammon, seeing you so docile and practically transmitting your love for him to all demons and angels within range, made him smug. He leads you carefully towards the bonfire, and masterfully leads you to dance. Your hands clasped together, bodies close, and the warm light of the fire as both of you gazed at each other lovingly was the envy of all who were watching the dance.

You knew that Mammon was no angel, but the way the light shone upon him made him look so soft, and your love for him was overflowing that it hurt. But it was a pain you had grown to be familiar with. A small silent proof that you were capable of loving, and that you were worthy of being loved back.

As the time for the fireworks drew near, Mammon and you slipped away and headed to a spot he knew. It was up into the mountains and a secluded viewing platform that was overgrown with trees and grasses.

You glanced down to your linked hands and smiled at the realization that not once had he let go of your hand. You couldn’t help but keep on smiling, smiling so much for the whole evening that your face hurt. Today’s Mammon had made you realized how lucky you were to love and be loved by someone like him.

Mammon who was always considerate of you, silently taking care of you, and always looking out for your best interest. You recalled all the times, he’d cook for you and secretly put all the best parts on your plate, the times he’d just hang around you all day when you’d wake up with a heavy heart and body. You remembered how he had happily supported you with your naivety of saving that other version of you, how he always had your back and supported you unwavering in his belief on your abilities even when you doubted yourself.

“Look!” Mammon called your attention as he pointed into the sky.

The first firework exploded like a blossoming flower on the sky, and then came the next and the next until the Devildom sky was decorated in varieties of colored fireworks. You were mesmerized and couldn’t help but let out a soft, “It’s beautiful...”

You turned to Mammon and met his eyes, soft and utterly in love with you.

“You-you should be watching the display...” You hid your blush behind the sleeves of your kimono.

Mammon let go of your hand and you looked at him in confusion, he chuckles at your displeased look and instead brings out a velvet box. Your heart stammers and you feel blood rushing to your ears.

He calls your name softly, preciously, sweetly, as if it was as holy as his Father’s name and to him, your names was perhaps even holier than God’s. A name meant to be said only with love, a name that carried so much meaning for him. You had carved a hole in his heart and filled the empty spaces in him with your love. Your love had changed him irrevocably, remade him into a better version of him, made him unable to think of a future that didn’t have you in it and fear such possibilities.

You had made him care for you in a way that he had forgotten since he fell, and Mammon wanted you to take responsibility for it because he was no longer just the Avatar of Greed, one of the seven Rulers of Hell. He was now your Mammon, your lover, your most beloved demon, and most devoted avatar.

“Is this...?” You trailed off, not daring to hope too much on what a small box could mean.

“There is no such thing as marriage among demons not in the way humans do, not in the way angels used to have...but I can give you my vow, to love you as I always had in this obscure and inhuman way where I give all of myself to you.”

You tear up as his words envelop you and Mammon continues, ever so gentle with you as he whispers the words only meant for your ears, “Let me continue loving you in spaces between my ribs and in my heart, in the shadowed and rough edges of my soul, allow me to join you in your darkest days and happiest hours, i’ll weather the wind and rain for you...all I ask is that you give me the entirety of yourself...the bits and pieces that you hide because you think I am capable of being disgusted by you, those parts of you that you hate because it is the worst of you and you think it is ugly.”

“Mammon...”

“I don’t know how to love the way you humans do, all I know is that I love you as simple as the fact that my heart, sometime ago, without me knowing began to beat for you.”

Your tears flow, and you could only give him a choked up, “Yes.” 

Mammon smiles with tears in his eyes as he slides the ring into your ring finger and kisses you on your forehead. You do the same to him and the two of you snuggle together and watched as the show slowly came to and end. You stare at his content face, and you can’t help but wish,

“I want this moment to last forever...”

Mammon blinks before his a wide mischievous and doting smile blossoms on his face, “In that case let’s start the tradition of spending this festival together from now on!”

You happily agreed and once more linked your hands together, red bracelets intertwined without you or him realizing.

#mammon x reader #mammon x mc #obey me mammon x reader #obey me mammon x mc #obey me mammon #obeymax #summer festival #obey me

[inkykeiji]

ME TOO CLARI ME TOO my fav thing to do is making someone watch a film that i’ve enjoyed nd observe their reaction all the time hehehe i watch their reactions more than the actual movie pffft

moving onto ur fav film list, your fav film list made me SO happy!! i was so excited to see that most of them were films i’ve watched&wholeheartedly enjoyed ( ^ω^ ) FINALLY SOMEONE APPRECIATING THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS YES!! whenever i mention anderson everyone talks ab the grand budapest hotel so im so happy to see u enjoyed the royal tenenbaums 🥺 also omg u watched burning?!? isn’t it such an amazing film <3 also reservoir dogs and little women and spirited away and ahh i could go on and on forever ab ur list but this ask would be a whole essay so i’ll force myself to hold in cri cri

horror movies are so fascinating aren’t they!!! i love em sm too <3 ari aster n jordan peele r my fav favs when it comes to horror. +the shining and scream! i enjoyed the conjuring series as well :) wait can i drop u a rec, since u love horror i totally recommend a tale of two sisters by kim. one of my all time favs&i have a strong feeling u would love it too! that film has such beautiful cinematography as well (✿╹◡╹)

ahhh my fav films r like, all over the place cuz i don’t have a strong preference/taste, but some of my fav films (that aren’t mentioned above/in ur list) include jojo rabbit-waititi, the florida project-baker, dazed and confused-linklater, moonlight-jenkins, girl interrupted-mangold, your name-makoto, mid90s-hill, lady bird-gerwig, uncut gems-safdie and etc etc so many more but i feel like im oversharing hehehe i also love action movies too but that’s a whole different discussion ;)

honestly u can recommend me anything u want cuz my taste is all over the place like i said, but to narrow it down, hmmm 🤔 is there a movie that u think is a must-watch? or genre-wise, maybe horror/action/drama/coming of age!! love u so so much clari<33 how is tumblr allowing me to write this much huh -🐰

ehehehe okay i’m gonna answer under the cut because i knoooow i’m gonna ramble

RIGHT and like idek why i guess i just love sharing the things i love with the people i care about and observing how they feel about it???

AHAHAHA YESSSSS oh my gosh i love the royal tenenbaums so much!! like my favourite wes film is either fantastic mr fox or rushmore, but yes!! grand budapest is rly pretty tho and i think that’s why so many people gravitate towards it yk? I DID WATCH BURNING actually i was super lucky and got to watch it at TIFF before it ‘officially’ premiered + there was a lil q&a with the cast and director (w a translator ehehe) but it absolutely blew me away. i’m just in love with korean cinema as a whole. i have yet to watch a korean film that i don’t like!!

little women is just !!!!!!! i love greta so much and i can’t wait to see what else she creates; i just feel like greta is a woman director creating films FOR WOMEN. does that make sense??? well-known women directors are already so sparse, but there are some (ie bigelow) who create uhhhhhh films that cater more towards men and the masses??? and that’s not to say that bigelow isn’t a fantastic director, because she IS, but i really like sofia coppola and greta gerwig because their films are so feminine and focused on feminine issues and relationships that we really don’t see on widespread/popular screens (like at first run theatres ie multiplexes).

RESERVOIR DOGS AAAAAAAH listen listen i have A Thing for mr. blonde ehehehe yeah i really love quentin, as i mentioned. whenever someone says pulp fiction is his best film i really have to refrain from rolling my eyes, and i know that makes me sound like suuuuch a snob but like,,,,,,,,,, pulp fiction is his most popular film, not his best (in MY opinion!! since art is all personal opinion yk etc etc). and like i could go on forever about him, i love every single one of his films, i think he’s such a fantastic writer and just aaaaah <333333 love quentin’s work so so so much.

ARI ASTER AND JORDAN PEELE ARE FANTASTIC. i wrote an essay on get out and it was literally one of my favourite essays to write!! i’m really really really excited to see what both of them continue to create!! OOOOH I LOOKED IT UP AND YEAH IT LOOKS RIGHT UP MY ALLEY i will add it to the list n get back to you!!!

aaaaah ur taste!!! dw clearly my taste is all over the place too ahahaha i just love cinema so much, i’m always eager to watch new films and literally always feel overwhelmed with just how many i want to watch ehehehe. OH MY GOD YOUR NAME MADE ME SOB LIKE A BABY such a beautiful film!!!!!! loved it so so so much. eeeee i actually hate action movies ahahahaha 🙈🙈🙈

hmmm i’m gonna try n go with ‘must watch’ films just because i feel like i’ve already mentioned so many in most of those genres n you’ve already seen most of them, so!!

ladri di biciclette by de sica

masculin, feminin and pierrot le fou by godard

news from home by akerman (if you can find it, it can be a lil difficult to track down but if ur school has a decent film library/collection they should have it!!)

rome, open city by rossellini

in the mood for love by wong kar-wai

the 400 blows by truffaut

hotel by the river by hong sangsoo (i literally love this film so fucking much my gosh like another one we saw at TIFF one year and just !!!!!!!)

full metal jacket by kubrick

apocalypse now by coppola

bride of frankenstein by whale

nosferatu by murnau (honestly anything german expressionism is worth watching esp the cabinet of dr caligari and metropolis, too,, i just really love german expressionism lmaoooo)

peeping tom by powell

king kong (1933) by cooper + schoedsack

aaaah like tbh i’d be surprised if you didn’t know/watch these, too!! like, i feel like they’re fairly common in film programs but!!! recommending films to another film student is hard cause i’m sitting here like ‘well, they most likely know all of the american/hollywood ‘must watch’ films’, but then i’m all ‘but if they’re a film student, there’s a good chance they’ve watched these, too’ so aaaah idk i hope some of these are new to you, at least!!! i kinda just thought about my favourite cinema movements and picked a film or two from each ahahahaha

SORRY I WROTE U A MINI ESSAY LMAO JUST RAAAAMBLING but !!! i can’t wait to hear more about ur cinema adventures!!! lmk if you’ve seen any on the rec list omg omg and once again sorry it took me so long to finish answering this :((

#WHEW #literally i could talk forever about cinema i love it so much #i will not shut the fuck up LMAO #but yeah!!! aaaaah it's so great to have another film student to talk to on here!!! #if you've seen most of the films on that list then i can move onto horror + drama recs (if u want me to ofc!!) #anyway lmk!!! #i hope u had a wonderful day my lil bunny n i hope you're staying safe!! <33 #🐰.anon #clari gets mail

[elains]

BOOK REVIEW: HOUSE OF EARTH AND BLOOD, Crescent City Book I, by Sarah J. Maas.

First off, my sincerest thanks to @scraphim, who listened to my comments and rants with the patience of a saint and encourage me to put them down. Second, english is not my first language, so my apologies if there's anything confusing or awkward.

General Rating: ★★ 1/2

THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CUT HERE OUT OF COURTESY BUT TUMBLR MOBILE IS BEING ITS IMPOSSIBLE SELF SO DO MIND THE RATING BEFORE CONTINUING.

Congratulations, Sarah J. Maas. You got me to sit down and write a review for a book, something I hadn't done (officially, anyway, might as well count the endless conversations with my friends) in a long while. Unfortunately, House of Earth and Blood was one more disappointment in an ever-growing list, and this review was born not out of pure, simple enjoyment, but of how much reading this bothered me.

Let me start by saying that I wanted to like this book. I did. I don't buy books which I don't think there's a chance I will not enjoy, I have way too much to do with my life and little money to spare on that. I hoped Sarah would go back to the early days of ToG, when the writing wasn't so choppy I kept questioning what is her problem with commas and when the characters weren't more and more of the same. Or perhaps that she would go back to ACoMaF, which at the time I loved reading.

Silly, silly me. The thing about having an eye-opener to something is that you can't go back. It's not so simple to close your eyes and pretend the bad doesn't exist, doing so feels irresponssible. I'm not sure her books have changed much, perhaps it was just me, the reader, whose perspective changed.

Let's go into the detail, then. Warning for spoilers of her previous books:

• THE LENGTH. It. Is. Ridiculosly. Long. I would say that length itself it's not necessarily a bad thing, something can be long but engaging. HoEaB's problem is that it drags on, to the point I had to put it down I don't know how many times out of frustration that nothing relevant happened. The infodumps do not help AT ALL, making the whole experience even more tiresome. I'll talk about worldbuilding separately, but jesus, so much unecessary information whose only purpose was to add to the wordcount and could have been woven into the story more organically. Readers are not dumb, they can make simple inferences, you don't need to explain every little detail.

The story only picks up and runs like the devil itself is chasing it in the last like, 20 chapters or so. Considering there are 97 of them... Yeah. It could have been a shorter, more direct and overall just more engaging.

• THE WORLDBUILD. I'll give Sarah J. Maas a point: it is more elaborate and refined compared to ToG and ACoTaR, whose worldbuilding are in general quite shallow and in the later's case, nearly nonexistent. However, the use of names blatantly lifted from real-world mythology and places bothered me to NO END. In a book which is built around those mythologies as their main source of inspiration, I can understand. Not here. Look, Maas can come up with original fantasy names, there are even some in HoEaB itself. But unless it's meant to be purposeful and Crescent City is to be Earth All Along, it's just jarring and feels lazy. It's not something new— refer back to the Illyrians and the Myrmidons.

Archean? Valbara? Pangera? Hel? REALLY? And those are just place names. Might as well name something Proterozoic. Or Laurasia.

The Roman inspiration, which was supposed to be a big thing from all her talk felt extremely loose and barely there. Oh sure, there are legions, a governor, the SPQR/M, and some names which to me, a portuguese speaker, where so cringy I had to laugh (Like Gelos and Cervo. You know, literally Ices and Stag or in that case Hind), but they did not feel Roman to me, naming aside. You could literally have named them anything else and it'd still have worked.

We studied Rome (mostly the government and the legal system) in our first semester of College and it might be the student in me, but I kept wanting to see more of the government structure, the politcal system itself. In a book that dealt with law enforcement and figures in places of power, this was a part of the worldbuilding that felt lacking, and a wasted opportunity to expand on the Roman inspiration.

What gets me is that some interesting concepts could have been explored better. I kinda like the idea of the Asteri, the rifts, the summoning salts.

• HUMANITY'S PORTRAYAL. Ahahaha. Where do I even begin with this one? In KoA, I hated that Aelin loosing her human side was seen as such a big sacrifice when the Fae were repeatedly shown to be "superior": stronger, more beautiful, immortal, the list goes on. Aelin herself preferred the Fae-side, so it felt a completely pointless sacrifice. In Crescent City, it gets even worse. Humanity is oppressed, trying to fight for their freedom and their inherent rights as sentient beings, and the books keeps going on and on about the Vanir.

Forgive me, but I'm supposed to be sympathize with the Vanir? To see the Vanir main-characters go on and change the world and make it better for everyone? I'm sorry but I'm not here for that. Bryce's mother and stepfather and Briggs aside, the HoEaB could have definetely used a human PoV or just. You know. ONE THAT DOESN'T FAVOR THE VANIR IN EVERYTHING. So yeah, I'm here cheering for the humans.

• THE CHARACTERS. I like Ruhn. He read like a concerned older brother, I could relate to that, not a possessive alphahole and I was baffled when Bryce kept insisting that. Oh, he has his flaws, but overall, I like him and his friends. They're nice. Danika, too. I would have liked to see more of Juniper and Fury, and them together, instead of using their relationship as kind of a surprise. Hypaxia is another Yrene/Sorscha. I also liked Lehabah, she was a sweetheart (Also I'm sorry am I supposed to think Bryce witholding the news on her freedom to throw a party WASN'T a WTF move? That Lele just knew because she looked at the documents???)

Now, to our main duo. I found Hunt boring. Simple as that. There was nothing in him that I found captivating, nothing new in terms of SJM's Love Interests. How he kept sexualizing Bryce in the most inappropriate of moments pissed me off. His and Bryce's relationship felt to me as Rowaelin 2.0, just as they themselves read as another versions of them, and not very different ones. He is not supposed to be an "alphahole" but... I didn't feel it. Hunt felt as just more of the same.

Now, Bryce Adelaide Quinlan.. Is it so much to ask for a main character who isn't gorgeous, super special, and super-powerful? I get the appeal of the trope, I'm no so hypocritical as to say that I've not indulged in it myself, but with Sarah, it feels overdone. When all characters are beautiful, special, so powerful it... kinda loses its meaning. However, that's not what bothered me about Bryce, no, it's the fact that she could be read as PoC (Golden, Tanned skin, two very ambiguous terms. My white cousin gets golden skin when she stays too long outdoors ffs), and as a PoC myself, reading her into those situations bothered me so, so much I cannot even begin to tell you.

Her curvy, sensual, bug boobs and butts are easily one of the more sought after where I live. People would go to great lengths for such a body and no, it will not hinder your dancing career. We have a word for it roughly translates to Hot, but having men call you that as something laid out on a table for their pleasure, objectifying you is horrible. And that's what most characters do in HoEaB: sexualize Bryce again and again, playing into harmful stereotypes.

My skin crawled reading those passages. I felt uncomfortable. And it wasn't even just the nameless, countless side-characters: it was Hunt himself. Every single move Bryce made was sexualized and I hated, hated it. "She's a Queen who owns her body and doesn't care for anyone else's thoughts" is all well and good, but women like me already have the stereotype of whores, sluts, homewreckers, and it was handled in such a tone-deaf way that it touched ALL of my wrong buttons. It was just uncomfortable, and cringy.

Two and a half stars, like those bad movies we still watch god knows why.

#hoeab #crescent city #book reviews #review #lacie reviews #or tries too #not that I'm any good at it #I JUST HAD THINGS THAT I WANTED TO SAY FOR ONCE #also i hate Tumblr mobile

[leondaltons]

💘 + lottie & casper!!

where they first met and how

They first met back in high school!! Almost everyone around town knows the last name “Dupont'' because of how long the family has been there and with what they are associated but i’m guessing hadn’t put her face with the name until one day she caught him and his friends pranking her locker (you know that gilmore girls gifset where they are writing a phone number and then the dude says “write mine” when he sees Alexis bledel? well like that lol)

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

aksjasa Casper has been flirting with her since the moment he saw her and the boy hasn’t stopped even after all these years of rejection. She started to “flirt back” only some months before feelings get involved (her flirt back is calling him an idiot, sending him spicy pictures and then blocking him lol)

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

this one is easy, Casper ahahah. Boy has been wiped since he was a teen ahahaha

where their first date was and what it was like

first real date when they are like, officially dating? Casper took her out for dinner and some drinks to a small restaurant with a view to the beach where they would sometimes meet each other before dating, it’s small enough to keep it intimate but also casual. Second date he takes her to see his band play and honestly she goes 👀👀 Their first is a little weird at first, i mean they have known each other for years now and Lottie has a hard time being emotionally vulnerable, but she tries so things gets better once the food is on the table ahahaah

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

i think casper has asked lottie out in every way you can imagine, but one of the biggest was when he asked out for prom; he did this big public thing and it officially backfired

who proposes first

casper, hands down! I honestly don’t know if marriage is something that Lottie ever thought she needed in her life, like she would be happy without it but if he wants to then she would say yes without thinking ♥

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

well they started making out and sleeping together (before an official relationship) and they were done kind of in secret, i think? mainly because of Lottie and her refusal to admit she had feelings or was actually interested in Casper

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

Casper proposes the same way he asked her for prom (the one that backfired lol) it’s really big and almost identical, his way of reminding her how long he has liked her. Lottie can’t believe she is saying “yes” to this but in a way can’t stop smiling and feels so lucky to have him in her life

if they adopt any pets together

My take is that they adopt another cat to keep lottie’s cat company!!!

who’s more dominant

In bed? definitely Casper hahaha

where their first kiss was and what it was like

I’m thinking their first kiss was either in the middle of the night in an empty street or in a really dark pub. It was definitely heated and angry; when things that have been building for a while inevitably explode (context: casper was probably teasing her and pushing Lottie’s buttons while they were arguing about something and she kind of snapped and kissed him)

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

Maaaaaaaaaaybe deep in the relationship they get matching mugs? I can’t really see Lottie wearing matching sweaters AT ALL nasbajkshajk. Oh and at some point she gifts him the same necklace she has with her birth stone

how into pda they are

I would say that once they are dating they are very into it. Lottie has no problem in making out in public or sitting on his lap

who holds the umbrella when it rains

Casper ♥

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

I think they meet a lot in each other’s home, mainly because it’s the place they are more comfortable doing whatever they are doing. But there is also this small bar/restaurant with a view to the beach where they accidentally met a few times that Lottie really likes. It’s small and comfortable and their official first date was there

who’s more protective

This one is a really close one but I think i’m gonna give it to Lottie, I think? She doesn’t have too many people she REALLY loves but she would fight with claws and teeth for the ones she does loves

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

after they finally kiss? jashajsa not long at all, maybe some weeks after it i’m guessing?

if they argue about anything

pre relationship? about everything lmao. Well mainly Lottie argues and Casper just pressing her buttons. In relationship they still do but not as much or seriously enough

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

Casper aksjasa (i mean that photo of Lottie with the hickeys👀)

who steals whose clothes and how often

she steals A LOT of his tshirts

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

spooning!!!

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

mmmm I like to think that Lottie ends up asking Casper to teach her how to play the guitar, she finds it super sexy and she would really enjoy him teaching her. I think they would also enjoy sharing time together, she with a good book while he plays with his guitar in the same sofa

how long they stay mad at each other

Lottie can stay mad for weeks if the situation deserves, but a good number is probably some days and after that she slowly starts to let go. Casper gives me the vibe he can’t stay mad for too long ahahah

what their usual coffee / tea orders are

Casper likes his coffee with tons of sugar and Lottie orders one of those super sweet frappuccinos that are more sugar than coffee lmao

if they ever have any children together

Both Casper and Lottie are a little scared for being parents for different reasons, but after she accidentally gets pregnant and they kind of freak out at first, they kind of settle into it and are great parents

if they have any special pet names for each other

Lottie just calls him Casper or “idiot” lol

if they ever split up and / or get back together

once they get together they don’t split up again ♥

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

I think it would be some kind of messy order if that makes sense? like clean dishes on the counter and maybe some clothes on the floor, probably a lot of things like books or paper over the tables but they know exactly where everything is. Definitely a lot of plants and candles

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

I think their first new year together is actually kind of nice? I’m thinking Lottie invites him to have dinner with her grandma and her! maybe he can bring his father if he wants too!! Her grandma is great at cooking and Lottie makes a delicious apple pie (honestly the only thing she knows how to bake lol). When midnight comes she doesn’t say anything but slowly and delicately interlaces their fingers; it's small and simple, but it means a lot. Lottie’s house is at the outskirts of town, so if it’s too late or there is too much snow, then he (and his father if he came) are more than welcome to stay the night……. 

what their names are in each other’s phones

Casper's name changed a lot through the years lmao, at first it was “??????” then it move to “Casper Nahm” to “C*****” to “Casper DO NOT PICK UP” and now is just “Casper” lmao

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

Casper waits until Lottie closes the store and then walks her home talking about their day. Every Thursday they meet for lunch at the diner (maybe they also do it other days too but Thursdays is a must). And every anniversary, Lottie gifts Casper a guitar pick (plus his other gift)

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

askjasa i think Lottie is the first one to fall asleep but also the first to wake up, honestly she can fall asleep everywhere ahahah

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

Casper is the little spoon!!! And Lottie is the big spoon and totally loves it!

who hogs the bathroom

Casper, I didn’t have to even think about it haahhaah

who kills the spiders / takes them outside

Lottie kills the spider with a lot of strength and passion hahahah

#thank you so much Isa 💕💕💕 #yakovasilyev #ask #smalltownverse: casper x lottie #isa🐰 #subjected to possible changes #lolol #this was fun!