#but I got 28/30 so I'm good
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the lyrics 'always an angel, never a god' really hit hard.
#non fandom content#vent in tags#i feel like I'm good at everything but great at nothing#for example I'm supposed to be the 'smart' one but never the smartest.#when someone gets a higher score than me i get jealous#like once i got 26/30 for math which is a good score#still A1#but someone got 28/30 and i immediately feel inferior#like i cant really explain the feeling#and I'm that kid in class who has some friends#but im not in any friend group#so i feel left out#like im the second choice but never the first#and oftentimes i feel jealous of someone because they are better than me at something#everyone praises them and rambles all about them#they might not be present somewhere but somehow it feels like they are#and i hate it#and they talk about how the person is so smart#so talented#so dedicated#and even my softball coach praises them and he is hard to impress#they get a lot of positive attention#i get none#even when i outdo them in some way#they manage to steal the spotlight and get everyone to swoon all over them#thank god i ditched them#that would have fucked with my mental health more if i was still their friend
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Mini Verstappen Series Masterlist
Paring: Single Dad!Max Verstappen x Fem!Reader
At the end of 2020, Max Verstappen gets the surprise of his life when he finds out that his ex-girlfriend had given birth to a son, his son. A year and a half later Max's longtime girlfriend of 8 months finds out about his son Nico.
This is an ongoing series. I'm always adding to it. The masterlist changes often.
I do take requests for this. If there is anything that you want to see happen in this series just message me in my ask box. All of my normal request rules apply.
Reader Face Claim: Hande Erçel
Total Published Word Count: 49,402 Words
Disclaimer: This work below is fictionalized ideas and stories involving real people but does not directly reflect their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Please keep in mind that this is a work of fiction, so enjoy it as such.
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑂𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑟
0.0. Prologue - [December 2020]
Max finds out that he has a son. And it changes his world.
0.1. Be Something You'll Love and Understand [December 2020] Outtakes
He knew that he should have called his mom yesterday but he was still wrapping his head around the idea of being a father.
0.5. The Moment You Smiled At Me - [November 2021]
The evening that started it all for Max and Reader.
1. Mini Verstappen - [July 2022]
You get a small surprise the first time you visit Max’s apartment.
1.5. Girlfriend? - [October 2022] Request
You meet Nico.
1.8. Caught - [June 4, 2023] 18+ Outtakes
Lando swears he knocked before walking into Max's hotel room, maybe he should have yelled before opening the door.
2. Change - [November 26, 2023 + January 2, 2024]
It’s the end of the F1 season. Some things are changing for the Verstappen's.
SMAU #1. The Secrets Out - [December 31, 2023 - January 1, 2024]
It’s the start of a new year. You and Max decide to tell the world about Nico.
3. A Lioness Protects Her Cub - [May 5 - 9, 16, 23, 2024] Request
Reporters are vultures and Max picks out a ring.
4. Day At The Karting Track - [June 15, 2024]
Nico starts karting. It opens a small can of worms.
SMAU #2. Through Max's Eyes - [March 8, July 30 - August 15, 2024]
Max’s Instagram posts about Y/N, and a small life update from the couple.
5. Something Bad, Something Good - [August 17 - 19, 2024] Request
Reader deals with the haters on Twitter, Nico calls Reader Mama. Max claps back at the haters on Instagram like the malewife that he strives to be.
6. Race Day - [September 1, 2024] Request
Nico tags along with Max during a race day in Monza, well as much as he can.
6.1 Wedding Headcanon - [February 2, 2025]
Headcanons from Max and the Reader's wedding. Social Media posts from their honeymoon.
6.5. Give and Take (Kind of Love We Make) - [February 28, 2025] 18+ Request
Max had a plan in his head for the evening. He had mapped out the track before, and intended to keep to his strategy until they got home.
6.7. To Constantly Be Away - [March 10, 2025]
Second race of the season and Max is already having a tough time with the car. Missing his family only makes it worse.
7. From Three to Four - [April 4, 2025]
Reader tells Max that your expecting, he doesn't have the best reaction at first.
8. Stones To Throw At My Creator - [July 2025]
He wasn't his father. He would never raise Nico like that.
SMAU #3. The Verstappens - [January 8, February 2, May 26, December 3, 2025]
Big things happen to Max and the reader in 2025. Moving, getting married, and a little surprise that neither of them were expecting.
8.7 Give Me Eyes To See - [December 7, 2025]
Nikita's first few days at home. Flashbacks to moments from the reader's pregnancy.
8.8 Nikita's First Christmas - [December 24-25, 2025]
Nico's first Christmas with his baby brother.
8.9 Ghost of Bittersweet Memories - [January 25, 2026]
A few of the drivers visit you and Max for the day, and you end up talking with Charles about a woman that he meets at an FIA event. (This is the conversation I referenced in Part 2 of Bittersweet.)
9. Glass Houses - [February 17, 22, 23, 2026]
When Raymond had called you about going and getting lunch, you should have known that something was going on.
9.5. All That I Can Give - [May 10, 2026]
Another Mother's Day and one of Nikita's firsts.
9.7. On Sleepless Roads, The Sleepless Go - [December 2-3, 2026]
It's the early hours of Nikita's first birthday, and you can't help but look back at the day you brought your son into the world.
SMAU #4. A Year in Moments - [February 10, May 28, August 2 & 27, October 21 & 31, 2026]
SMAU #5. - [2027]
SMAU #6. - [2028]
10. The End of An Era - [November 2030]
The days leading up to Max retiring from Formula 1. The Article announcing his retirement. And the last race of his F1 career.
11. Right On Track - [2036]
Checking in with the Verstsppens in 2036.
12. Letters From The Past - [November 17, 2038]
Max and Reader sit down to read the letters that Amelia (Nico's birth mom) wrote.
𝐸 𝒳 𝒯 𝑅 𝒜 𝒮
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Dividers made by @cafekitsune | Banner made by me
Mini Verstappen taglist: @karmabyfernando, @barcagirly, @sachaa-ff, @iamahallucinationnn, @musingsbyshreya, @glow-ish, @nonsensical-nonsence, @fanboyluvr, @champomiel, @gothicwidowsworld, @lighttsoutlewis, @itsalwaysgay, @minkyungseokie, @mynameisangeloflife, @ursforever129, @aundercover, @bborra, @mindless-rock, @cixrosie, @barcelonaloverf1life, @taylorslovesswifties13, @konsti081, @mellowarcadefun, @smnthnclj, @brekkers-whore, @lpab
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The Babysitter Masterlist
Summary: In need of money and a way to escape the problems at home, you get a job babysitting two lovely boys named Billy and Tommy Maximoff. What happens when you start to feel things you shouldn't for their mother? Will it bloom into love or leave you heartbroken?
A/N- I would just like to say that there will be some sensitive issues in this story such as alcoholism, homophobia, anxiety as well as more mature content such as smut so, if you continue to read this, please consider this warning.
Ongoing. Word Count- 158k
Chapters:
1- Meeting the Maximoffs
2- Cookies and Cuteness
3- Falling Asleep On The Job
4- Parks and Puppies
5- Blame
6- Catching A Liar
7- Taking Care
8- Birthday Wishes
9- Shot In The Back
10- A Moment Of Weakness
11- Kiss Me
12- Like A Date?
13- Let's Go Home
14- You're All I Want
15- I Want To Make You Feel Good.
16- A Way To De-Stress
17- Hesitance
18- I Love You
19- Hopelessly In Love
20- Is Someone Jealous?
21- Together?
22- I've Got You Detka
23- Welcome To The Family
24- The 'Talk'
25- Beach House Shenanigans
26- Best Birthday Ever
27- A New Toy
28- A Moment Together
29- I'm Going To Kill Him
30- Punishments
31- I'm Here
32- The Right Person
33- Talk To Me
34- Family Night
35- All I'll Ever Need
36- Surprise Trip
37- Meet Me In My Office
More Chapters to come :)
#wanda maximoff#wanda fanfic#wanda maximoff x female reader#wanda maximoff x you#wanda x reader#eventual smut#marvel fanfiction#wanda x you#babysitter au#slow burn#eventual romance#eventual relationship#fluff#angst#angst with a happy ending#soft smut#mommy wanda#rough smut#natahsa romanoff#natasha
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The Awardist - Nicholas Galitzine & Taylor Zakhar Perez
I have to write down the best bits and record my thoughts while listening to this because I am completely losing my mind over what is our first real interview with the boys that was recorded in real time.
27:55 - right off the bat we got a great inside joke/reference from the host that had me cackle
28:19 - taylor being happy to see their faces and nicholas immediately shutting him down like "well i'm not happy to see taylor's face"
28:40 - taylor joking about putting a post-in note over nick's face lmfao
29:30 - the way they don't want to talk over each other, it's giving alex's bedroom flashbacks
29:40 - nick being like "oh! oh, it's good!" when dipping into the online response when the movie released lmfao 😆
30:33 - the silence following the social media question where they were apparently nodding followed by taylor saying they were texting each other like "mate" "mate" back and forth
31:20 - THEY TALKED ABOUT THE SIGNING WARS
31:44 - nicholas calling taylor "this little fucker" had me dying cause me and @meraki-yao were literally referring to him as that in our conversation on ig yesterday
32:00 - nicholas genuinely asking taylor "what possessed you to do this?"; it's giving storage closet in the children's hospital vibes when henry's like "why do you dislike me?"
33:04 - "take it nick" immediately upon being asked the dense question regarding fans reacting to their portrayals of henry and alex, and the way that nicholas laughs and stutters makes me think that taylor totally did that on purpose to mess with him lmfao
34:00 - taylor stopping to talk to fans regardless of where he is or where he's going and specfically mentioning how meaningful it was that people have said *TW* they were contemplating suicide when they read the book/watched the movie and that it helped them ��
35:40 - the host referred to the film as "a coming out story", which i don't really agree with as a label because the coming out portion is an added piece of their relationship as two public figures, but their love is the actual story
36:40 - nicholas referring to the film as "wholesome and funny" made me smile so much because it truly is wholesome
37:18 - not the host making the "top to bottom" joke 😭
37:58 - nicholas and taylor have talked about their friendship with each other and how they instantly clicked; nick knew within a few minutes of rehearsal that taylor was "his buddy" 🥺
38:41 - catch me squaring up with everyone who has made nicholas self conscious and self deprecating about doing so much intimacy work on the screen that he refers to it as "basically his thing" like that's all he's recognized for; i am so ready to punch some motherfuckers 😡
39:10 - "it's so fun now, seeing my mate at all these awards and stuff"; catch me fucking crying
39:24 - not taylor misremembering the "nicholas or joey" question as "who was the better kisser"; he totally combined the "is nicholas a good kisser" question with the "who has your heart tonight" question
40:05 - taylor talking about matthew's background in theatre and how they got to actually rehearse with each other; i will never stop being insanely grateful that matthew is a theatre guy
40:55 - the way i said "oh my god" out loud because i was so excited by the question
41:14 - improvised the "physicality" of the store room; i.e. they just fell on top of each other and clamored around 😂
41:32 - the way i literally gasped so hard that i started coughing when nicholas called taylor "tay", i am not even fucking joking, that was so fucking cute 😭
43:42 - fucking wheezed upon realizing where the question going
44:02 - the knowing way taylor was like "i will take this one" lmfao
45:10 - not me going so red from second hand embarrassment 🫣
45:44 - taylor bringing the jockstrap that nicholas wears in bottoms, and nicholas immediately adding "i won't even go into mary & george" 😂
47:51 - taylor finishing nicholas' sentence about matthew's direction for the cake scene; sharing a braincell lol
48:36 - taylor's dog passed away the night of the first day of filming like wow, that fucking sucks 🥺😭
49:05 - "everyone's looking at me with these sad eyes" made me so sad but then taylor said "do you want some tea?" in a terrible british accent lmfao
49:50 - nicholas complimenting and boosting taylor's performance while having such a hard time emotionally 🥺
50:49 - taylor bringing up running through the museum; i can hear the smile in his voice while talking about it 😭
51:28 - they filmed the kensington palace fight and the red room the week after nicholas got covid
52:40 - oh my god, the way you can hear nick grinning as he throws taylor under the bus for the sequel question 😂
53:30 - taylor wants a second book to base the sequel off of
54:03 - taylor used they/them pronouns for casey!! see? he knows, it was totally nerves
55:20 - it felt like it was over too soon, i desperately need more of them PLEASE 😭
This is the greatest thing that's happened in like, a month for me lmfao I am literally begging for more people to interview the boys about RWRB, I am so fucking desperate for more content of the two of them together. They are everything to me 🥺
#the awardist#red white & royal blue#rwrb#rwrb movie#matthew lopez#rwrb book#casey mcquiston#rwrb interview#alex claremont-diaz#taylor zakhar perez#henry hanover-stuart fox#henry fox mountchristen-windsor#nicholas galitzine#firstprince#history huh? bet we could make some#Spotify
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going over this because oh my fucking god
charlottes middle name is whitney????? weirdly fitting
parker jay robins
WE GOT CONFIRMED AGEs HELLO??? charlotte is 28 and parker is 30 🥹
charlotte's weight is just. 30. 30 pounds? ounces? i assume objects would have a different way to measure weight than humans would
parker reported her missing the very next morning instead of right away...i assume he didn't do it right away because of the circumstances of her disappearance (i mean she just disappeared in front of him)
the cell phone number?? area code omitted, i assume this is because cheesy doesnt want people trying to dial up an actual number but it's still curious to me and i think an in-universe explanation would be fun too!
charlotte has an instagram (awesomegram) apparently
the spaces for limb and eye colors caught my eye too. i think it implies that objects of the same species can have different limb/eye colors, so it's more than a stylistic choice on cheesys part im probably reading too much into it but idc give me some slack
space for glasses/contacts
parker marking unknown for the report type 🥲
PARKER'S HANDWRITING!!!! this is a small detail but i really love when we get to see a character's handwriting it's just a cute touch
unknown as a marker for sex, i'm guessing this is for if the missing person in question is a doe but it would be funny if it were more widespread
OBJECT CLASSIFICATION GROUPS!!! i posted this on my biology blog but i found this especially exciting. really really good foundation for the taxonomical classifications of objects if that's your thing (i dont think anyone except for me cares about this but oh well)
that's it, i really like this, i'm hoping we get more of these for the other characters???
#hfjone#hfjone charlotte#hfjone parker#object shows#disarming voice#me and my friends will have fun scouring over this i'm sure
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Don’t Touch What’s Mine!
Pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Wife!Reader
Warnings: Angst/Fluff, Praise, Killing, Torture, Cursing, Yelling, Sexual Assault, Fluff, Aftercare, and more Minors DNI 18+
Word Count: 1,413
Summary: A man tries to have his way with you not knowing you're married to a mafia man.
A/N: This is my first mob oneshot I hope you Enjoy!
Y/n was just a normal 28 year old women that many feared. That is because she is married to the one and only James "Bucky" Barnes. He's not the leader of the mafia he IS the mafia.
Everyone knows not to mess with him, but god forbid anyone that does anything to his wife that means makes her sad, mad, or uncomfortable you won't wake up the next morning. Y/n found that out a week ago.
A Week Ago:
Y/n works as an interior designer that decorates houses. Everyone likes your ideas and that what makes you love your job.
You have seen a lot of beautiful houses, but nothing compares to you and Bucky's house but, the house you were focusing on was for a family of 3. Mom, Dad, and Daughter. You walked in and was greeted by a beautiful looking women maybe mid 30s and ya'll began to talk about what she was wanting in her house.
In the corner of your eye you can see a man staring at your ass, but you didn't say anything and continue talking to the wife. After you were done talking you went to a mini table to start planning.
The man walked up and said "Hey you look real pretty are you from around here" You looked up said "Sorry I'm taken but thanks" smiling at the thought of Bucky. "What's your name?" You ask wanting to know who he was. "Josh Miller" He said confidently. “Your turn.” He sung. "Y/n Barnes.”
He looked down and saw your ring and said, "Your married to someone with the last name Barnes? How about Miller. Y/n Miller, that has a ring to it, doesn't it?"
You were trying to be professional but he was talking about your husband so you kindly said "Yes I am and if that's a problem you can talk to him yourself" He was kinda shocked because he didn't expect sass out of you. "Feisty I like it"
You were disgusted and then remembered that the women's last name was also Miller.?"Aren't you married?" He leaned closer to you, so he was near your ear. "She doesn't have to know about it." He had a smirk on his face.
You were getting uncomfortable so you got up and went to the bathroom. You needed a moment to collect yourself. You've never been in a situation were men were preying on you because Bucky is protective, but now that he's not here you're on your own.
All of a sudden the door opened to the bathroom and came through the door was Josh. "You thought you could run and hide? I can do so much better than your husband, just admit it, you want me." You were backed up against the wall. He started tracing your body with his hands, staring with groping your breast and kissing your neck. You pushed him back. "No I don't. I'm happily married and my husband can do everything that you can and can't do!"
This must have pissed him off because you saw anger in his eyes. You didn't waste a second to kick him where the sun don't shine and ran out the bathroom to the front door. You ran down the street not caring about the looks people gave you. When you thought you were a good enough distance you called Bucky.
Bucky's POV
As I was in a meeting I got a phone call from my lovely wife Y/n, I picked it up and answered. "Hey baby ho-" Before I could finish I got cut off. "B-Bucky there was a guy and he tried to do s-something please hurry, I'm s-scared!” I got up so fast and started walking to the car I noted how out of breath she sounded.
"Baby share your location now." I said in a stern yet soft voice. "Bucky" She whimpered. "He's coming"
Y/n POV
You was on the phone with Bucky when you got grabbed by Josh. "Stop running, you will be mine weather you like it or not!" All of a sudden you heard car tires screeching on the road and walked out was Bucky and his guards and he looked pissed.
"If you don't get your fucking hands off my wife I will make sure they're off your body!" Bucky said his voice laced with venom. Josh immediately let go scarred for his own safety. Bucky instantly pulled you in his arms as you started crying. He looked at his men. "Bring him home to the basement."
Bucky lead you to the car and held you all while whispering in your ear things like 'You did so good, darling without me.' and 'You're such a strong woman'. Bucky texted the maid’s telling them to get a warm bath ready and for them to cook your favorite food.
Once you got home you could see gaurds dragging Josh down to the basement. Bucky lead you upstairs to the bathroom slowly taking your clothes off. He saw the bruises on your neck and got even more angrier, but pushed it to the side when he heard "Bucky, please stay with me." Bucky looked back at you. He saw how desperate and scared you liked so he stripped and got in the bath, slowly washing you.
"B-Bucky I tried to stop him" You said shaking. He shushed you saying it's not you’re fault and that you don't have to worry about him anymore and got up grabbed a towel and took you to the bed
He grabbed one of his shirts and a pair of panties and dressed me.
After that he got dressed and put on my favorite show and went downstairs to get the food. He came back and feed me slowly waiting for you. He decided to wait till you went to sleep to go do his "business". He grabbed you pulled the covers up and cuddle you until you fell asleep knowing you’re safe and protected.
Bucky POV
Y/n fell asleep so I made my way down to the basement. There I saw a glorious site. (Not as good as a naked Y/n). The fucker that tried touching my wife tied to a chair with tables on the side filled with different weapons.
I slowly walked over and took off the cloth off his mouth and said "So you think you can touch my wife and get away with it!?" Josh then responded "I-I didn't touch her she's lying s-she's f-framing me!" I let out a chuckle "So your calling my wife a liar?!" | yelled.
All color drained from Josh face. "N-n-no sir she just mad that I'm m-married and have a d-daughter so she s-set me up." he said stuttering. Bucky took a moment to think "So your married....What will your wife and daughter think when your body is sitting on the porch of your house?"
“No p-please. She’s just mad that I'm m-married and have a d-daughter so she s-set me up." Josh said stuttering. Bucky took a moment to think "So your married....What will your wife and daughter think when your body is sitting on the porch of your house?"
"Please don't kill me promise it won't happen again." He plead. "Oh don't worry you're right it won't happen again." With that being said Bucky took the pliers and twisted his fingers one by one smiling satisfied as he heard the cracks and screams of the man.
His guards watched in terror thinking what if they were in that position. "SO YOU GONNA TELL ME WHY YOU THOUGHT TOUCHING MY WIFE, Y/N BARNES, WAS ACCEPTABLE!?" I yelled. I was beyond pissed. “I'm sorry I-..... thought she was-... s-single." He cried taking breaths. "Well it's a shame that your wife and daughter isn't going to have a husband and father in their life." Bucky said picking up brass knuckles.
Bucky punched him square in the nose hearing the crack and seeing blood coming on his face. He started punching Josh in the jaw, throat, legs everywhere he could to release the anger he felt for this man.
After he thought there was enough of that he asked his men to untie him and leave the room.
His men untied him and left. Bucky grabbed a bat and started swinging at him beating him to the the ground blood was spilling under his body and the bones cracking was just as deadly. He couldn't even scream anymore. "P-pl-" Before he could finish, Bucky pulled out his gun and shot him 5 times. "DON'T TOUCH WHAT'S MINE!" He yelled.
Satisfied Bucky went to the bathroom downstairs so he wouldn't wake up Y/n and showered, Change, and went to bed. He pulled you close with a smile on his face knowing your safe.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes one shot#mob!bucky#mob!bucky barnes x reader#mafia!bucky barnes#mafia!bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes and reader#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x female reader
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Happy birthday!!!!
WWX identity shenanigans? Or anything!
a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33
A-Qing is scared.
Everyone around her is dead.
Everyone except Xiao Xingchen and Chengmei.
She doesn't know what to do. Xiao Xingchen remarks at how strange and reclusive everyone in this town is and she nods and complains, saying she wants to go someplace a little more lively, but Chengmei insists he likes it here.
Xiao Xingchen is blind and can't tell that everyone around them is dead and A-Qing can't tell him because she's supposed to be blind too, because if she tries then Chengmei will discover the truth about her and she'll become just one more dead girl who can't do anything to help anyone.
There has to be something happening here, some spell or trick. Xiao Xingchen had smelled blood on the road but he doesn't seem to notice the air of decay or the way no one around them is breathing. Chengmei has done something to dull Xiao Xingchen's senses or addle his mind, has done something to him that he hasn't done to her.
It's important to her that people underestimate her. She's worked hard to be underestimated. But she's almost regretting it now - maybe it would be better to be walking around in ignorance, rather than having to smile and laugh and pretend that the walking corpses around them don't frighten her halfway into being a corpse herself.
She could leave. Chengmei doesn't care enough about her to stop her, she doesn't think, and maybe she could get some help. But what will happen to Xiao Xingchen while she's gone? What if Chengmei does something terrible to him? What if he takes Xiao Xingchen and leaves and by the time she comes back they're gone forever?
The thought is ever worse than her current situation, so she stays, and hopes one day she'll find an opening to get them to safety.
She's by the river, because the corpses seem to avoid running water, when she sees a woman she's never seen before walking through the mist. A-Qing squints, trying to make sense of what she's seeing as the woman heads in her direction. It makes her nervous, but the corpses have never hurt her before.
She's wearing pale blue robes and she's tall, for a woman, and almost too skinny. Her dark hair falls freely down her back but she has a strange ribbon wrapped around her forehead. A-Qing is trying to figure out what killed her, considering she lacks the puffy face of strangulation or and her robes are free from blood, when she notices a sword at the strange woman's side.
Terror shoots through her. A-Qing yanks her robes to her knees, getting ready to run, when the woman waves at her and shouts, "You there! You're alive, aren't you? Have you seen anyone else alive around here? He'd be this tall, in all white, very pretty?"
A-Qing freezes, mouth dropping open. The woman still has her tongue. Her eyes sting and she desperately tries to blink her tears away, worried if she loses sight of the woman in front her that she'll disappear completely.
This woman is alive. She's got a sword and she's smiling and she's asking for Xiao Xingchen, which means maybe she's a cultivator too, maybe she can save them from Chengmei's horrible games.
A-Qing throws herself at the woman, who in spite of her small stature doesn't so much as sway with the impact, and instead lays a warm hand against her back. "What's all this, then? What are you doing here with all this going on, anyway?" She rubs soothing circles into her back. "Hey, hey, don't cry! It's going to be okay. I may not look like much, but I'm pretty good with stuff like this."
She's warm. She's warm and alive and she's a cultivator and she's going to help.
A-Qing keeps her forehead pressed against the woman's chest and starts talking.
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idea from your prompt list… i’m thinking reader saying number 28 regarding jbs tramp stamp. a little “me and the boys are getting tattoos” and her not giving reader any other info… then boom. tramp stamp.
I was in the middle of writing something about the tramp stamp and was so stuck, and this helped me sm so thank you anon :)
wc is somewhere around 700 words (short king!)
julien baker x fem!reader - #28 "This not what I expected."
"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Julien is murmuring against your skin, her lips leaving small kisses on your cheek and jaw. She's half snuggled into you, her body hanging off the bed, arms effectively pinning you down. A yawn escapes you; she pulls back, eyes wide and teasing as she watches you yawn, a grin stretching across her face. It's like she can't help it, leaning in and kissing you again, moving up to your temple.
"Where are you going again?" you mumble sleepily. She laughs lightly, mumbling against your skin, "the boys and I are getting tattoos”. She smiles, kissing underneath your ear when you hum in acknowledgment.
"You'll be back by lunch?" you murmur, half asleep, leaning into your girlfriend's affections. "Mhm, should be back by 1:30... you want me to bring you something?" Julien asks, rubbing your back and pressing a kiss to your head. She wants nothing more than you to come with her to the tattoo shop, but she also wants you to rest, your body not used to traveling the way hers is.
"Will you guys eat lunch with me?" you mumble, Julien smiling softly down at you, convinced there's nothing sweeter than your sleepy talk. "Yeah...Phoebe, Luce, and I will get take out and bring it home...okay?" she says, rubbing down your back, tapping your butt. "Can I have a hug?" she asks, standing up from the bed. She chuckles, watching you roll over, eyes lighting up when your arms widen, nuzzling into your chest and neck, your hands rubbing her back and patting her head. "You're squishing me..." you breathe out. She squeezes harder, chuckling into your neck, "I wish I could crawl into you....is that weird?" she asks, lips attached to your skin. "You're weird."
"Okay, I'm gonna go if you're going to bully me..." she says, standing up, pinching your hip, and rubbing your bare thigh. She scoffs when you don't respond, your eyes remaining closed before a tiny smirk blossoms on your face. "You're so mean," she says, slapping your thigh softly.
"I love you, Jay," you murmur, watching her slip on a jacket. "I love you, sweet girl," she responds, kissing you again quickly.
"Have fun!" you say, yawning again. Julien blows a kiss, leaving the house.
.
It's about 2:00 when Julien returns, Phoebe and Lucy following behind her. "Hi," Phoebe says excitedly, smacking a kiss on your cheek before shoving her arm in your eyeline. "Oh sick!" you exclaim, tracing the outside of the wrapping. "It looks good, P," you smile at her; she happily hums, putting bags of food on the table. Lucy greets you similarly, kissing your head before showing you hers as well, "I love that you guys have more than one matching tattoo," you giggle. "It's almost like we love each other or something," Lucy smirks, teasing you softly.
"Let me see JB," you request, your girlfriend showing you the same matching tattoo and your initial on her ring finger. "You're insane," you murmur, blushing deeply. She smirks, kissing the corner of your mouth, wrapping you in her arms, her hands on your ass. Your hands rub her lower back, and she winces softly, pulling away. "What did I do?" you ask, panicked, "Are you okay?"
Lucy and Phoebe laugh, "No way, did you not tell her?" "Julien!" "Babe, she got a tramp stamp!" Phoebe and Lucy say, talking over each other. Your ears perk up, hearing ”tramp stamp”.
"YOU WHAT?" you exclaim, eyes wide. Julien giggles sheepishly, lifting her shirt and turning around, her jeans sitting low on her hips.
Absurd Freedom. Your girlfriend...has a tramp stamp... that says 'absurd freedom'.
She turns back around, looking at you with waiting eyes. Phoebe and Lucy freeze, watching Julien watch you digest what you just saw. They glance nervously at each other, actively knowing that you'll support Julien no matter what but also knowing that Julien thinks very highly of your opinion.
"This is not what I expected."
"I- but- okay is- are you mad?" Julien stammers.
"Of course not, I just- you're such a nerd," you say, smiling wide. "The myth of Sisyphus... made you get a tramp stamp?"
"You scared me!" Julien exclaims, making Lucy and Phoebe laugh.
"Oh my god, you drama queen, let's eat," you say, pulling her into you and kissing her head.
"Should've seen the look on JB's face after she showed you," "Shut up Phoebe!"
#anon cutie#six word sentences prompts#boygenius mini fic#julien baker x fem!reader#julien baker x reader#julien baker mini fic#julien baker#julien baker tramp stamp#she is an icon honestly
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Ironic
Hayden and Reader met and fell in love while filming a movie. After a four year break, you go on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, and he points something out.
gif not mine; credit to the owner!
Pairing: Hayden Christensen x Actress!Reader (established relationship) age gap (Reader is 28, Hayden is 41)
Warnings: Fluff, dad!Hayden, twins are a boy and a girl, pet names (honey, sweetheart), is jimmy fallon in new york or la? hes in new york for this one. mentions of pregnancy, abortion, and childbirth
~~~~~~~~
You were scrambling around the condo trying to make sure you had everything you needed before you left for the night. You kissed your babies as they slept, quietly slipping downstairs to see your husband. He looked amazing, dressed in all black, his hair slicked back and a smirk on his face.
"You look great, honey. Do you have everything?" Hayden asked, ever patient while you ran through your mental checklist, confirming you were ready to leave. He held out is arm and led you to the car, the babysitter told to make herself at home and not to wait up. Your heels clacked on the concrete path, unconsciously chewing on your bottom lip as the driver opened the car door, sliding quickly into your seat. Hayden followed, grabbing your hand to comfort you.
"I'm okay." You mumble, feeling the lingering stare your boyfriend was sending your way. With a chuckle, he pulled your hand up from your lap and kissed your knuckles.
"I know. I'm still here, sweetheart." The tender moment made your heart skip a beat, tummy now flipping for a different reason, a welcome distraction from the nerves.
"Thank you, honey." You responded, sending him a loving smile. He nodded and kissed your hand again, letting you turn to look at New York whizzing by. It was a rainy November day, the anticipation of snow thick in the air and the condensation on the window blurred the city lights as you got closer to your destination. You hurried into the building, clutching tightly to Hayden's hand as he confidently led you through the double doors. A crewmember corralled you into your dressing room backstage seeing as you were about half an hour early and you took a deep breath to help calm down. Hayden grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and cracked it open before handing it to you, which you gratefully accepted.
Thirty minutes later, you and Hayden stood behind the curtain, waiting for Jimmy to introduce you. Your knees were wobbly and your palms were sweaty, anxiety settling in a ball in your belly.
"Please welcome Hayden Christensen and Y/N Y/L/N!" As the curtain opened, Hayden squeezed your hand three times, a silent I love you. You smiled and waved to the audience, excitedly hopping over to your seat and clapping with the audience.
"Oh my God, I've missed this!" You gushed, a bright smile on your face.
"It's great to have you back! How are you? How have you been?" Jimmy asked, his eyes flicking between the two of you.
"I've been good! Lots of changes, a few new surprises, but it was definitely what I needed." You responded, glancing at Hayden as you spoke. He returned your gaze, smiling at you with so much love and support it almost made your heart explode.
"So you two met on a movie, correct?"
"Yes! It was a cheesy little rom-com called Maybe, Probably. It took about a year and a half to film, and it was a wild ride from start to finish." Hayden answered.
"In a good way?" Jimmy asked, leaning over his desk to hear better.
"In the best way, Jimmy." You responded. A chorus of 'aww' rippled through the audience and you blushed, biting back a smile and turning back to face Jimmy.
"So what was your first date like?"
"Oh it was pretty great despite the circumstances." You giggled slightly at the memory. "I was sick the day of. I spent all day filming outside in, like, 30 degree weather, and I had rain pouring on me. I woke up the next day feeling like crap and I did everything in my power to feel better by the date, but nothing worked."
"Oh no! What happened?" Jimmy urged.
"I called Hayden and apologized. He accepted, then asked me if there was anything I needed. I thought nothing of it, he was just being nice, until about an hour later when he showed up at my place with soup, medicine, and my favorite movie." You gushed, once again blushing as Hayden held your hand.
"Which is funny because her favorite movie is Revenge of the Sith." Hayden commented, laughing with you and the audience.
"Aw that was so sweet! So you took a break soon after Maybe, Probably. Why?"
"I was getting burnt out, in all honesty. I've been in the industry since I was 18, and after six years of non-stop working; filming and interviews, and traveling, It was just time for a break."
"Hayden, how did you feel during that time?"
"I agreed and supported her choice. I know what it's like to work until you're bone tired, and you suddenly stop that routine, you don't know what to do with yourself." Jimmy nodded, listening intently.
"I got cabin fever pretty early on. I deep cleaned the house, read all the books I had, went for walks. I did whatever I could to keep myself busy for about two weeks, before I eventually just hit a wall. One day I think I slept until like 2 in the afternoon, I was just that tired."
"Wow! So you're feeling better, right? Ready to get back into acting when the time is right?" Jimmy asked, flipping through his notecards to keep the conversation flowing.
"Oh yeah, of course! I'm already working on a few new things that I can't talk about just yet, but so far they're pretty amazing!" You answered quickly, wrapping your hands around your knee as you crossed your legs.
"You mentioned some new surprises earlier on, would you care to elaborate?" Jimmy asked, a knowing smile on his face. You glanced at Hayden, who slightly nodded at the question hanging in the air.
"After two years of being together, I found out I was pregnant right around Valentine's Day." You revealed, the crowd going wild shortly after they heard the word 'pregnant'.
"Oh that's amazing! What was your reaction to that?" Jimmy asked.
"I was terrified! I went back and forth for weeks about what I wanted to do; keep it, don't keep it. I ended up calling my mom to tell her, and of course her first question was 'have you told Hayden yet?'. My answer was no, because we hadn't discussed having a baby. We weren't even living together at the time, so I practically chewed my lip off as I debated having this conversation with him." You answered, popping your knuckles anxiously.
"When she finally did tell me, I think we had just missed the cutoff to abort, but I didn't care. I knew I wanted another baby almost as soon as Briar was born, so when Y/N told me she was pregnant I practically jumped out of my skin."
"So about four months after I found out, I went to the doctor. I had an amazing OB/GYN, and she supported my craziness and my paranoia on days when Hayden couldn't be there. Anyway, this was a routine appointment, I'm laying on the ultrasound table, and all of a sudden she gets this weird look on her face. My heart drops and I immediately think the worst; I had lost my baby.... until she looks at me with a smile and pushes a button on the keyboard. The sound of not one, but TWO heartbeats echoed around me and Hayden and I just remember looking between him and the doctor with wide eyes." You giggled.
"You guys had twins?" Jimmy asked, jaw on the floor in shock.
"We had twins, a boy and a girl." Hayden answered. The crowd cheered along with Jimmy, who came around the desk to wrap you in a hug.
"Congratulations! What are their names, if you don't mind me asking?"
"Thank you! It was quite a debate trying to pick their names. I called them Ross and Monica, Jim and Pam while I was pregnant, but none of them really stuck. I think we were about to be discharged from the hospital, getting all packed up and dressed, and I looked at my babies and it all just clicked. Our son is Theodore Isaac Christensen, aka Theo. Our daughter is Matilda Sage Christensen, aka Tilly." You gushed about your babies, tearing up slightly as you thought about them at home with the nanny, almost feeling guilty that you weren't there with them. Hayden noticed your voice beginning to crack, so he took over talking.
"They just turned one in October, and we had a cute Star Wars themed birthday party. We invited friends and family, Briar loves being a big sister, it just all worked out so wonderfully. I couldn't ask for a better family, if I'm being honest."
"Y/N, at what point did you realize that you had twins with Anakin Skywalker?" Jimmy asked, throwing his head back and clapping as he watched a wave of realization hit both you and Hayden.
"I never connected the dots! Haha, Natalie, I had his twins and survived!" You commented, Jimmy laughing harder at the joke you made.
"Alright, when we come back, we're going to play some games with Y/N, Hayden, and our next guest! See you soon!" Jimmy called to the camera, signaling a commercial break. The rest of the show went by in a flash, the games you played with your boyfriend, Jimmy Fallon, and Blake Lively helping you realize just what you were missing during your break.
You loved acting. You got to do your dream job every day, no matter how tiring it was, but nothing could replace the feeling of going home at the end of the day and spending some quality time with your little family.
Maybe you should take a break more often. Probably not.
#anakin x reader#hayden christensen#hayden christensen imagine#hayden christensen fluff#hayden x reader
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I saw your post about how peafowl are ... resource and knowledge intensive to keep. Is there a bird you would recommend for beginners? Are quail easy?
Compared to peafowl or even to chickens, yes, but that also depends on what you mean by quail. There are a BUNCH of species that are able to be kept in captivity, depending on where you live. If you're in the USA, coturnix and button quail are both domesticated species that do well in relatively small enclosures (think, a large rabbit hutch or one of those little "coops" from tractor supply co that they think are for chickens but are only suitable for babies at best). Most people that want to keep quail for meat or eggs are keeping coturnix not buttons but if you just want cute pets, button quail are adorable. The males of both species are LOUD though.
Coturnix do well eating game bird crumble mixed with layer crumble, as they need around 2.5-3% calcium if they're laying, which is about half what chickens need. They also need a higher protein than chickens, especially as babies (28-30 as babies, 21-26% as adults), or you don't get much in the way of eggs. Other than that, fresh water and a clean home and they're good to go.
The hens typically start laying by around 6-10 weeks (the Celadon gene can cause laying delays), the boys will be crowing on a similar timeline, so be sure you are okay with the noise or know what you're going to do with culls. Coturnix can be kept outdoors year round... button quail cannot, they need to be indoors if it's cold out. The biggest problems I've had with the coturnix is a) noise (which I've mostly bred out) and b) water in the winter. My water system only works when water can stay liquid. So, in the winter, the quail switch over to water bottles with 3D printed drinker bottoms, and those get changed 2+ times a day. They look kinda like this:
and c) aggression in a poorly-bred line. I don't see it much with my Celadon line anymore, but when I first got them, and in the new outcrossed babies, the males would be relentlessly either on the girls or fighting each other, and sometimes a girl would also do this, just start attacking everyone. I culled against it from day 1, and now they're fine, but I had a group of outcross boys that came from my Celadons x fresh blood and the boys were unmanageable immediately. It doesn't matter because I'm not keeping any of them, but I do worry it'll come back on birds I /want/ because the girls may carry that. So that's just something to be aware of, I guess. Ask the breeder about it before you buy.
If you just want "A Bird" and not specifically farm fowl: you want a pigeon or two! They bond to their humans or to each other, they do silly things and have Antics, there is a ton of easily accessible info about their nutrition (and their food is easy to acquire), care, and behavior, and there's always ones looking for homes. Since they were bred as companion and even work animals, not just as food, they socialize easily with humans and they can be kept indoors and unlike quail, their noises are pleasant.
Of course that doesn't dismiss the need to do your research on what it would entail to keep one (or two!), but at least that's easier to do well.
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Pudge’s “Good Boy Calendar” 2023 - September Update
Another month gone by means it's time for another diaper training calendar update!
“Diapered all day” happy faces: 28 (27 needed to avoid punishment)
“No sticky diapers” gold stars: 26 (25 needed to avoid punishment)
"Healthy boy" red apples: 25 (25 needed to avoid punishment)
I think I did pretty good this month, though there is a shameful red frowny face sticker on there from a day where I took a pull-ups break that wasn't for a social or work event, which instantly disqualified me from a happy face that day. Hopefully, that's the last one we'll see this year.
This was the first month where I needed 25 red apple stickers to avoid punishment, which signify that I worked out for at least 30 minutes and generally watched my food intake for the day. I'm not being too strict about my diet at the moment, since getting into a workout routine is where I really needed a push. It's going to be a slow road, but I'm already noticing improvements, even if they aren't evident on camera just yet.
There are only 3 months left to go, so things should be returning to normal around here pretty soon (well, except for my bladder control) and next year will see more of my usual style of posts on this account. Lately, every time I get the urge to make a post, I either need to shoot one of these updates or I've posted a bunch on my side account @diapercheckpudge and I forget that I'm not updating here. I still plan on keeping the program going next year - and already have the calendar ready to go - but I'll mostly be doing it privately. I don't want to jinx anything, but I should probably mention that I've got a crib on-order at the moment, and it'll hopefully be here before the end of the year(!)
If you’re not familiar with the calendar program, I’m pushing myself to wear diapers as much as possible this year - click here for the full breakdown.
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Nervous
Alhaitham x gn!reader
-> IN WHICH Alhaitham acted nervous the previous days. Why's that?
-> Normal Universe
-> Wordcount: ~0.9k
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"Is he okay?" Paimon asked as she looked at Al-Haitham. Kaveh shrugged. "I don't know. He's been acting like this for quite a while. I'd say a few days…? Never once have I seen him like that. If I had to take a guess, I'd say one of his studies didn't work out."
Now you might be wondering what's gotten Al-Haitham all worked up. He's been distant. Sure, Al-Haitham was one of the humans that don't like human contact and is avoiding it at all costs.
But in the last few days, he's been distant, short-tempered and nervous. Kaveh wondered what could make Al-Haitham nervous.
Al-Haitham always made sure the house was cleaned, always made sure everything was set in place and always made sure that Kaveh did all these things as well.
Oh Archons, one time Kaveh put his dirty dishes in the sink, telling himself he would clean it later,
and Al-Haitham saw it,
oh boy,
Kaveh got a 30-minute long lecture regarding his dirty dishes, why he shouldn't put them in the sink, why he shouldn't leave them there and why he should clean them right away.
That made Kaveh worry.
Al-Haitham never acted like this.
Never.
"Now that I think about it, he's been acting so strange, it's not normal anymore. Well, as normal as he can be. I'm gonna ask him later in the afternoon." Mache said his last words before following Al-Haitham,
who ran off again, because "the colours don't match". Kaveh didn't know what that meant, so he brushed it off as he did before.
Al-Haitham was pacing around the house again.
"Al-Haitham." Kaveh stopped in his tracks to follow his roommate.
"Al-Haitham." He didn't respond to Kaveh's call, still murmuring "That's not good enough." and "This doesn't fit well.
"Al-Haitham!" Now Kaveh yelled his name. Said man stopped in his tracks, locking up his roommate. "What?!" The scribe matches his energy. "Can you not just stand around and help me?! The table is off, the light is too bright and the carpet is dirty!" Al-Haitham's tone was loud and demanding. [Name] should arrive the next day
or today,
he didn't know. That's why he wants the apartment to look perfect at all times.
It's been a year since you travelled to Fountain because of your job. What if you found someone new? What if your love for him disappeared? What if you realized you don't need him anymore?
He didn't know. But he wanted to. So badly. You never gave him an exact date when you would come back. If you did. Maybe you had sent a letter telling him you would stay. Telling him you didn't want him anymore.
"You need to calm down!" Kaveh's voice brought Al-Haitham back. "I don't know what's going on with you! The previous days you've been acting strange! Always walking around, never giving yourself a break, never once stopped complaining about how dirty this apartment is or how the lights are too bright! You need to stop! You need to take a break! Please." The architect grew frustrated at the end of his lecture.
Al-Haitham was ready to respond.
But the doorbell rang.
He instead froze.
Is that you?
Were you finally home...?
...back to him?
The scribe completely forgot about Kaveh and his lecture, about his complaints and, about his doubts regarding you. Instead, he paced towards the door, maybe it's not you? He carefully opened the door.
"Al-Haitham." You stood there, smiling at him. You came back.
Back to him.
Your boyfriend didn't move, didn't speak and didn't even think. All on his mind was you and you only.
"[N-Name]?" He couldn't believe his eyes.
368 days. 18 hours and 28 minutes since he has last seen you.
Yes, he counted.
How could he not?
"Aren't you gonna give me a hug?" You opened your arms and Al-Haitham immediately responded, hugging you.
And lifting you up. "Aw, did someone miss me?" You giggled. You were so happy to be back home and finally spent time with your boyfriend again.
"Quiet," Al-Haitham murmured while burying his head into your neck. You were sure 5 minutes have passed since he lifted you up. "Hey I know you missed me and all, but can you put me back down, please? We have time." You patted his head as he let you down, even though he complained. You put your hand around your suitcase and entered his apartment.
"I see you've cleaned. How unusual of you, I wonder what else is new." You laughed, noticing him blushing because of your words. "I-I wanted it to be perfect for you. I know how you like keeping your environment clean and organized." You were going to say something, but-
"YOU HAVE A PARTNER?!" Someone you didn't know yelled from behind. You turned around, surprised. "Haitham you didn't tell me you had a new friend, less roommate. Here I thought you would be lonely during the time I was gone." Kaveh didn't know it was even possible to get the scribe to blush, but here you are, making a stammering, flustered and blushed mess out of him.
"I'm [Name]. Al-Haitham's partner. And you are the 'annoying' roommate Haitham spoke about?" You held out your hand and smiled kindly at the new person.
"Yeah sure."
#alhaitham x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact#x reader#genshin#genshin fluff#alhaitham#reader#gn!reader
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Got Game? Haikyu edition !
Ranking Hiakyu characters on how good they are at hitting on people. Basically does your fave has rizz or nah?
A/n: there are sooo many haikyu characters so if I forgot your fave I'm sorry feel free to add them in wherever you want & if you disagree be nice about it or I'll bite you this took a long time there’s SO MANY OF THEM
33. Mad Dog
He’s scaring hoes. No explanation needed.
32. Aone
He was dead last until I remembered mad dog existed. He is scaring hoes as well. But like if someone could give him a chance I think he does have a good heart. He really needs to be introduced to someone or something, bc cold walking up to someone is never going to work for him I fear.
31. Ushijima
More intimidating that scary, but still makes people nervous. He’s just like super dry and has bad social skills. Does not know how to be flirty at all. He’s cute so I think on occasion there’s girls that want him enough to look past all that but honestly he will almost always strike out unless he has a wingman (Tendo) to help balance him out.
30. Sakusa
Bro is mean and grumpy. I also feel like he doesn’t really care for random hook ups anyway so he is not trying to pick up people a lot. On the occasion he does see someone he wants to approach, I just struggle to see him being flirty. Like you almost get the sense he is judging you when he’s talking to you. Which, to be fair, he probably is. He is another person who would benefit from having a wingman, though he won’t admit it. He’s getting past Ushijima by the skin of his teeth just because he isn’t as imposing.
29. Kita
Another one who I don’t see trying to approach too many people. I think he would come off as disinterested even if he did find you cute. Would probably try to flirt by asking weird philosophical questions. Does better than Sakusa bc his energy is slightly less intense.
28. Yamaguchi
He’s just too awkward. He gets super shy and flustered around anyone he thinks is cute. Sometimes gets lucky when he goes for someone who finds his shyness cute, but often is shit outta luck.
27. Tsukishima
Of course Tsukki and Yams are next to each other. Tsukki is another grumpy one, but not as intense as Sakusa. He too doesn’t approach too many people, but more than Kita or Sakusa would. I could totally see him being one of those dudes that relies on being tall for getting girls. Like he thinks he doesn’t have to try that hard since he is over 6 foot💀 I think he flirts by being mean but it comes off too mean or condescending at times. Definitely tries to be more selective with who he approaches though, won’t approach anyone he doesn’t think he has a good chance with.
26. Goshiki
Talks a big game in front of his friends, but gets really nervous in front of the person. Blushes like crazy and trips over his words. Can get past that at times, but flirting definitely doesn’t come as naturally to him.
25. Tendo
Tendo is fearless, which does help his success rate because he just will walk up to anyone he thinks is hot. Doesn't really get nervous at all. However, he is a little weird (I say that affectionately) so he's definitely not everyone’s cup of tea. Strikes out a decent amount bc of that, but honestly it doesn't really bother him at all. Will just move on to next one. He’s really just there for a good time.
24. Yamamoto
Gets very nervous around girls he thinks are hot. He gets loud when he is nervous which can freak people out. Tries his best, but either comes on really strong or really stiff. Sometimes can get past that if gets hyped up by his friends beforehand.
23. Kunimi
He’s okay at it. He’s quiet and a little snarky, which doesn’t alway connect well. I think if he is able to break the ice and get a conversation going, he has a good success rate. But if he isn’t able to get the person hooked into the conversation quickly, he fizzles out.
22. Asahi
He is like 50/50. He’s the guy who comes up to you and you get super excited because he’s cute, but he can fumble it. If he is in a nervous mood, it is really hard for him to get a convo going and be natural. Those days he is striking out more. If he is feeling confident that day, he has a really good success rate. Again, 50/50.
21. Oikawa
I know this is low but hear me out. Because girls were crazy over him in high school he really never had to try to get someone to like him. Therefore he really doesn’t have good skills in that area, especially when just approaching someone random. I think he would learn fairly quickly, but it would be a tough start.
20. Kenma
He’s kinda shy and doesn’t like approaching people bc he’s a lil lazy( but mostly nervous). However, he’s super smart and if he can figure out a way to get you to approach him, he’ll definitely do that. Can have trouble standing out to people since he is on the quieter side. But circling back to the smart thing, I think he is good at zeroing in on his type & what will get that person hooked on him. Definitely spends some time observing you before he makes a move. His success rate does go up a lot if he has a wingman, but he doesn’t NEED one like some people on this list.
19. Tanaka
He’s very similar to Yamamoto, but I think he is just a bit better at staying calm. Just a bit. Definitely is nervous to start& can come off a little strong at first, but if you give him a chance he’s able to show he’s a good, genuine guy. Also feel like if he is with a friend his success rate goes up like crazy. Like he doesn't need the wing man to intervene for him, it’s more like having his friend there makes him feel confident and takes away his nerves. This is why he is always begging Nishinoya to come out with him.
18. Matsukawa
Middle of the road guy. I feel like he is bad at opening conversation, which hurts him. However, if someone gives him a chance for a longer conversation he does a lot better.
17. Daichi
He’s not bad, but he’s also not amazing? Like I don’t really see him as someone who gets very nervous around people he finds cute. However, he’s not super flirty and can struggle to hold people’s interest if that makes sense? Just kinda mid tbh.
16. Koganegawa
He has like puppy dog vibes. He has a lot of fun flirting. I feel like he is a lil bit of an air head, so he doesn’t even realize he should be nervous. But since he has such positive, easy going vibes it’s super easy to talk to him. His down fall is that he can be a little too spacey and forget to follow through, ex forgets to ask for your number or tell you he thinks you’re cute.
15. Kageyama
He’s not super flirty either. But I feel like as he gets older he grows in confidence and gets better at approaching people. Let’s be honest them beautiful fucking blue eyes has him picking up most people he wants. His weakness is sometimes he’s too reserved and the other person thinks he’s not interested. Either than that a pretty solid success rate
14. Akaashi
Honestly bro is so fine he really doesn’t have to try that hard. Similar to kageyama in that he can struggle with coming off too aloof. Still, I think he’s super polite and engaging which makes him charming without even really trying
13. Lev
He also has some puppy dog vibes but I think he is more in control of it. Especially as he gets older he mellows out more. Being a professional model gave him a lot of confidence, but he still is a lil goofy on the inside, so it never comes off as cocky or anything. I could see him trying a little too hard to be suave at times that it works against him. Like it comes off a little disingenuous. But he’s a 6′4 model, he’s not struggling THAT hard to get numbers lets be real.
12. Nishinoya
He’s higher than Tanaka bc I think he comes off slightly less strong. Maybe it’s just because he’s small 💀. But he doesn’t feel intimidating even though he does come on strong. He’s able to do it in a way that’s very endearing. Also once he gets talking he’s able to reel himself in more. He’s also super funny which helps his success rate a TON.
11. Kuroo
Idk why but I can see him wanting to use like pick up lines 💀 like he thinks he’s being smoother than he really is. Kenma tells him he’s being a dork(which he is). He’s hot enough that most people will give him a chance, though. Once he gets past that he genuinely charming and doesn’t struggle to get someone’s number
10. Bokuto
Another one that can come on strong but in a way that works for him. I can deadass see him just walking up to someone and flat out telling them they’re gorgeous. And it feels so genuine(bc it is genuine) and not just like someone trying to get in your pants (even if he is trying to get in your pants). If he strikes out tho it totally kills his mood and it’s hard for him to recover.
9. Atsumu
He’s the opposite of bokuto where him calling you gorgeous sounds like he’s just trying to get in your pants 💀 but he is SUCH flirt oml. I think that can hurt him at times bc he’s laying it on a little too thick. But usually finds a good balance. Can charm the pants off most people if you give him enough time.
8. Aran
Solid flirter. Confident enough to approach you and make conversation without being overbearing. Chill and easy to talk to. Even if you don’t end up going out with him after, you still enjoy the talk you had. Also doesn’t make it weird if you decline him.
7. Sugawara
Suga is so good at getting your guard down. He’s just sweet and genuine you feel at ease with him (it’s those big brown cow eyes). So easy to talk to and is surprisingly funny. Plus when he tells you he works with kids it makes him seem even sweeter.
6. Terushima
And then we have to total opposite. Honestly he should be lower. He comes off strong to the point of being cocky but somehow makes it work. Let’s be honest it’s the tongue ring(he definitely makes suggestive jokes about it). I also hc that he’s super tatted as an adult. I think he does well because he’s superrrrr good at picking out the girls who would be into his vibe. Also like who doesn’t wanna hook up with a bad boy every now and then?
5. Hinata
Listen. This may be high but I truly believe Hinata has good game. So good that at times he doesn’t even realize the effect he is having. I think his favorite way to flirt is getting you to do something competitive with him. Has no issue walking up to you at the beach to ask if you wanna play volleyball with him or even just asking to play beer pong at a party. He doesn’t even really have to try once you agree because he is super good at everything he does (which is a turn on) and you have a lot of fun. Great at asking you on a date without even realizing you’re being asked. Like he’ll say you should go get something to eat after playing together and you immediately agree. Then you’re like wait a second... this is totally date. And you’re very happy about it.
4. Semi
I feel like we don’t know that much about his cannon personality, but he has such a cool vibe. Liken effortlessly cool so you’re naturally drawn to him. Plus he’s super good looking like come on. Really just knows how to curate his look. He’s someone expect to be a little mean but he’s actually a sweetheart. Has you head over heels in no time.
3. Osamu
Atsumu is punching the air rn. He’s got Atsumu’s confidence but is able to keep from being too much. Subtle flirt, but super good at it nonetheless. Loves flirting with costumers who come to his shop because it gets him extra tips but also you keep coming back to order shit just so you can talk to him more. He knows he’s got you right where he wants you. He gets soooo many numbers left on receipts and absolutely will call them if he liked you.
2. Suna
God. This man. He was born to flirt look at him!! He’s so fucking smooth. He’s sorta aloof but he is really able to work that to his favor. Definitely confident enough to just walk up to you and start a convo. He is a good talker but he almost doesn't need words??? Like he can just look at you a certain way and god you’re sweating (in the best way). Easily gets anyone he sets his sights on.
1. Iwaizumi
Iwaizumi has the best game idc. He’s equally hot and approachable. Has plenty of confidence but is never cocky. Truly has a kind, warm aura that makes you feel so comfy talking to him. He’s super smart and funny. Like you just feel like you’re having a conversation you don’t even realize he’s flirting with you but you’re absolutely developing a huge crush on him. The type you talk to and immediately feel like you’ve known him forever. He truly never strikes out. It’s a gift.
Bonus: Coach Ukai
It didn’t feel fair to compare Ukai to everyone bc he is a few years older and definitely more experienced but I couldn't leave him out. He has INSANE game. Like just look at him. He’s fine, a lil bit of a bad boy vibe, has a heart of gold (LOVES dropping in that he is a volunteer coach with kids). I think he would be sexy n fun flirt like it’s just too easy for him.
#why are there so many#haikyuu#haikyu#haikyu x reader#haikyu headcanons#haikyu scenarios#haikyu hcs#oikawa hcs#kuroo hcs#kenma hcs#bokuto hcs#hinata headcanons#kageyama hcs#atsumu headcanons#osamu headcanons#suna headcanons#iwaizumi headcanons
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Sleepy Prompts II
"Come on, love. It's time to get up."
2. "You know I can tell you're tired? You're clinging to me like a koala."
3. "You're so cute when you're falling asleep."
4. "Your lap is a comfortable pillow."
5. "You're welcome to sleep in my bed if you want."
6. "Come back to bed. I need a cuddle partner."
7. "Didn't we talk about you pulling all-nighters?"
8. "Sometimes I like to watch you sleep. Not in a creepy way. I just think you look so pretty and peaceful when you're sleeping."
9. "You're always so beautiful first thing in the morning. Must be the way the sunlight hits you."
10. "I'm not tired!" "Babe, that's what little kids say when they're tired."
11. "I love that, even though you have a bed, you somehow always end up falling asleep on me."
12. "You were so sound asleep that you didn't even notice I went in and out of the room like five times."
13. "For someone who claims to not be a cuddler, you couldn't keep your hands to yourself all night."
14. "Why are your feet so cold?!"
15. "If you don't come to bed now, you're not gonna get a goodnight kiss from me."
16. "We're not even halfway into the movie and you can barely keep your eyes open."
17. "Good morning, sunshine!" "Shut up."
18. "Did you just yawn, Ms./Mr. I'm-Not-Tired?"
19. "Go to bed."
20. "Sleep is a construct created by the government, so I'm not gonna fall for it." "That's...not correct at all..."
21. "No! No more coffee! You need sleep!"
22. "You feel sick because you haven't been sleeping."
23. "See, babe. This is what happens when you stay up until 3AM scrolling through TikTok."
24. "I'm too tired to care."
25. "You look completely dead behind the eyes."
26. "You're like a little ice cube."
27. "Did you have a nice nap?"
28. "All the concealer in the world isn't gonna cover your dark circles. But you know what will? Sleep."
29. "Why does it matter how much sleep I got last night?"
30. "Is there a reason you're not sleeping?"
31. "If you open those blinds I will murder you."
32. "It's too early! I wanna go back to bed!"
33. "Bedtime, sweetheart."
34. "You've got bedhead, love."
35. "Four hours is not enough sleep."
36. "Come here. Cuddle with me."
37. "Aw, my cute little sleep-deprived angel!"
38. "Don't you dare grab that Red Bull."
39. "You didn't sleep, did you?"
40. "Come on. I'll carry you to bed."
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in a lot of zombie stories like The Walking Dead, the only way to kill a zombie is to destroy the brain. Given that the skull is designed to protect one of our most important organs, how hard would this be on average? Would it be easier with bladed weapons like a hatchet vs blunt weapons like a baseball bat? And while killing anything is easier with a gun, I’ve heard headshots can be quite hard to nail. Is this something that can get better with practice, or will it always be something of a crapshoot?
Honestly? Thinking about it, destroying the brain to put down the zombie doesn't make that much sense. The first problem is the brain itself. The skull is pretty good at protecting the brain most of the time, but that's more impressive when you consider just how fragile the brain is. It's very soft tissue, suspended in fluid. It's also one of the first organs to really suffer from decomposition.
Particularly, the brain is the organ you have to really worry about when someone flatlines. It will start suffering serious damage within 30 seconds of being deprived of oxygen. Within minutes of death, it undergoes irreversible chemical changes and starts to break down, so, it follows that, the brain isn't going to be in a usable state by the time the zombie virus tries to claw its way back to the living.
This is a different kind of problem with living “zombies,” such as the 28 Days series or REC. Though, in those cases, the zombies would have a very limited shelf life, as the strain of the virus would kill them long before the second film rolled around. But, in those cases, massive trauma should still kill the zombie, so you don't really need headshots, when a shotgun, center mass, will get the job done.
For clarity, you know there's no way to answer that comment about headshots without sounding like a psychopath, right? The short answer is that, yeah, if you' know what you're doing, and you know your gun, you can hit a small, semi-mobile target at medium range. A sapient being? That's harder, people don't tend to present their head for a convenient bullet, like a video game shooting gallery, but, with practice, you can reliably hit a head sized target at about 30m. Landing that shot against a live person running for cover or shooting back might be a bit tricky, but against a shambling, reanimated, corpse, it should be pretty doable. Obviously, I don't have a lot of first hand experience shooting reanimated corpses, so I'm having to make some educated guesses here.
However, having just said that, I'm immediately reminded of something the Resident Evil 2 remake pointed out: Shooting someone in the head doesn't mean you destroyed their brain. Surprisingly, shooting someone in the head will only kill them about 98% of the time, so I can see some logic in the thought process.
That said, shooting zombies tends to run up against a problem, that doesn't make a lot of sense when you step back and think about it. Generally you don't want to shoot zombies because the sound will attract more zombies, and there are inevitably more zombies than you have bullets. This the exact scenario that The Walking Dead works with. So, I have one small question: How did we get here?
Before we go any further, and spoilers for a comic book that published 15 years ago, but The Walking Dead did answer that. (The TV series and comic have different answers. In the TV series it's a virus from space that reanimates corpses, in the comic book it was a presumably supernatural force reanimating the dead. Though, it might have become a space virus now. I stopped reading the comic when it just got too goddamn depressing.)
When you're looking at a city like Atlanta (from The Walking Dead), and you're facing something north of six million zombies, yeah, that's a serious problem. You can't headshot six million zombies. But how did you get six million zombies? Six million zombies is a problem that can't be solved with brute force. Six-hundred-thousand zombies is a problem that can't be solved with brute force. But, sixty-thousand zombies? That can be contained. Six thousand zombies is an orderly riot. Six hundred zombies can be locked in a building and disposed of. Sixty zombies can be easily contained and neutralized. Six zombies? You can send out animal control and nip that problem in bud before there's an outbreak. And without higher brain function, there's basically no chance of patient zero avoiding detection.
But, I know the answer to this one, “well, they sent cops to catch patient zero, and the cops got bitten, then they turned in the hospital, and...” this would be a lot more plausible if rabies didn't exist. Actually, with the reputation of American police, there's basically no chance a zombie gets within biting distance. But, even if they did get closer, you know what else likes to bite cops? Meth heads. You know who has more higher brain function than a zombie? Meth heads.
Is there zero chance of a first responder getting bitten by a zombie? No, there's a chance. There's basically zero chance of that zombie biting anyone else, and on the slim possibility that the infected first responder turns and manages to chomp on one of their coworkers, there is no chance that the infection daisy chains out from there.
There's also a real likelihood that any growing outbreak will suffer, “a negative biomass shift,” as it tries to expand. That is to say, if someone sends twenty soldiers to contain 100 zombies, and those soldiers are overrun and infected, you're not going to have 120 zombies. You probably won't have 100 zombies, after they're infected and turned. So long as those soldiers drop more than two zombies, the horde will experience negative population growth. Incidentally, it doesn't matter if this is a modern or medical fantasy setting, in either case, the zombies aren't going to be able to put up much of a fight against armed and armored troops. Militaries train to fight against sapient foes, while zombies are going to be little more than training dummies. Even if they are eventually overwhelmed by the hoard, the hoard only gets a few corpses to replace all the zombies it lost. (Note: This doesn't apply if you have necromancers raising undead forces, in those cases, the actual loss of zombies will be minimal, as they reanimate zombies that were damaged enough to break their previous reanimation, but could still be used on the battlefield, so in this specific case, the goal would need to be more egregious destruction of the corpses.)
So how did we get to six million zombies? Any zombie outbreak will be at its most vulnerable when there are only a handful of infected. This even applies, to some extent, when you're looking at non-traditional zombie scenarios, such as fungal infections. Zombies are generally not very stealthy. (Ignoring The Walking Dead (TV)'s ninja zombies for the moment.) So, if you have a biohazard situation like that, unless there's a very long incubation period (which most zombies don't exhibit), then the danger of them going undetected and reaching critical mass is pretty limited.
Also, once you start looking at urban environments, that's not a great space for zombies to navigate. Things like storm drains and security barriers can effectively stop zombie advancement through an urban environment. Sure, zombies might be a threat to massive glass windows on the ground floor, but how are they going to operate the elevators, or the keycard reader to get into the stairs? Much less climb multiple flights of stairs to find the survivors? They might be able to chase them up the stairs, but getting there under their own initiative? Not so much. Same problem with any structure that puts steel bars on the windows. Zombies can't get in, or out.
After that, there's still the problem of decomposition. Dead bodies don't typically hold up particularly well. Maybe there's an embalmed zombie out there somewhere, shambling around, years after the outbreak, but most of the corpses will, quite literally, fall apart in a couple weeks. (Probably less, if they're chasing after survivors and slamming into walls.)
Having said all of that, I don't hate zombie fiction. Zombies can be a fantastic metaphor. You can even come up with compelling and interesting zombie scenarios. I know I just said it was implausible, but I don't hate The Last of Us's scenario, even if I do have some issues with some of the writing (specifically in the last few levels of the first game, before anyone asks.)
So, would it be hard to kill a zombie? Usually no. You might have some exceptions, such as magically reanimated corpses that really don't need to be intact to continue trying to kill you. Dead Space's necromorphs come to mind as an excellent example of creative zombie assembly.
The issue is usually the volume of zombies, just the sheer number threatening to pour out onto the street at any moment. Which requires that things went exceptionally wrong in ways that don't really make a lot of sense when you step back and think about it.
The issue wasn't shooting one zombie in the head, it was the next ten, and the next hundred, and the next thousand. Because, in those numbers, it doesn't really matter if they're easy to kill, there will always be more.
-Starke
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do we have any information on the approximate dates or year that TMA takes place in? I’m obsessed with timelines and I’m so curious about if those dates are Known or not or can only be guessed about
yes we do! some parts of the timeline are a little vague, but every live and "in situ" statement (with a few exceptions) has a date attached to it. I won't go through every known date, and I'm also not scrupulously checking to make sure I've copied all these numbers down correctly so there's probably an error or two in here, but some significant ones include:
s1
mag 13 - alone: the first live statement and the first hard date for the show, 13 january 2016
mag 22 - colony: martin's statement after being trapped by jane prentiss, 12 march 2016
mag 26 - a distortion: sasha's statement about meeting michael, 2 april 2016 (<- that was my fourteenth birthday :3)
mag 38 / mag 39 / mag 40: jane prentiss's attack on the institute, sasha's death, and all the debrief statements afterwards, 29 july 2016
s2
mag 41 - too deep: jon's statement about exploring the tunnels and his first supplemental tape about gertrude's murder, 2 september 2016
mag 43 - section 31: basira's statement about diego molina + the start of her giving gertrude's old tapes to jon, 19 september 2016
mag 47 - the new door: helen's statement about the hallways, we meet michael in person for the first time, 2 october 2016
mag 61 - hard shoulder: daisy's statement about seeing the coffin for the first time, 1 december 2016
mag 73 - police lights: basira's statement about rescuing callum brodie from maxwell rayner, 11 february 2017
mag 76 - the smell of blood: melanie's statement about her investigations into war ghosts, at the end she and jon have a bit of a fight about how That Is Not Sasha, 13 february 2017
mag 78 / mag 79 / mag 80: jon releases not-sasha from the table, martin and tim get trapped in the corridors, jon meets leiter, elias smashes leitner with a metal pipe, all on 16 february 2017
s3
mag 81 / mag 82: jon makes a statement at georgie's place about a guest for mr spider at the same time as daisy interviews the remaining archives staff to try and ascertain his whereabouts, 18 february 2017
mag 89 - twice as bright: statement of jude perry, ft. jon hand crispification, 24 april 2017
mag 91 / mag 92 (/ maybe mag 93?): statement of mike crew, death of mike crew, jon daisy and basira's encounter in the woods, the big elias conversation at the institute, 28 april 2017. mag 93 might also be recorded on this day, I'm not quite sure, because georgie's statement (mag 94) is 29 april, but I don't know if that's fully the next day or if jon got back really late on the 28th, recorded mag 93, and then georgie gave her statement in the wee hours of the 29th. up to interpretation and how little sleep you envision jon as having.
mag 100 - I guess you had to be there: lynne hammond's is 2 may 2017, robin lennox's is 20 may 2017, brian finlinson's is 26 may 2017, and "john smith's" statement doesn't have a date.
mag 111 - family business: gerry's posthumous statement about smirke's 14, 30 june 2017. again, trevor and julia's statement about how they met in mag 109 is dated 29 june, and I don't know if it's an either-side-of-midnight thing or a full day elapsed between them.
mag 118 - the masquerade: martin and melanie pull a fast one on elias while the rest of the gang sets up explosives in the unknowing, 6 august 2017.
mag 120 - eye contact: elias's statement about jon's coma dreams + elias's arrest, 9 august 2017.
s4
mag 121 / mag 122: oliver banks gives his statement about point nemo and jon wakes up, 15 february 2018
mag 128 - heavy goods: breekon deliver's the coffin and jon slurps a statement right out of his head, 3 march 2018
mag 132 - entombed: jon buries himself alive to rescue daisy, 24-26 march 2018
mag 141 - doomed voyage: on the boat to norway jon slurps a statement about mikaele salesa out of a shiphand's head, 11 june 2018
mag 142 - scrutiny: jess tyrell comes in to complain about jon slurping a statement out of her head and haunting her nightmares, 12 june 2018
mag 146 / mag 147: jon gets intervened on about all the brain slurping, they go to hilltop road and find annabelle's statement, 20 july 2018
mag 157 / mag 158 / mag 159: peter releases not-sasha and brings martin to the panopticon for a showdown with "elias," julia and trevor attack the institute, daisy goes monster mode, and jon follows martin into the lonely and saves him with the power of gay love and also slurping peter lukas's brain so hard he explodes badly, 25 september 2018
mag 160 - the eye opens: jon reads a normal statement and nothing bad happens, 18 october 2018.
s5
fuck if I know
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