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jimimn · 3 years

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HI ITS ME WHO'S NOT OVER JJK BLONDE SELFIE AND WILL NEVER BE -💫

HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO <33333333

HONESTLY ITS THE WAY YOH SAY SUCH NICE THINGS AND I DISAPPEAR FOR DAYS ON END BECAUSE INCONSISTENCY BLEEDS INTO EVERY CORNER OF MY LIFE FNEKALKD BUT I'M GETTING DONE WITH MY FIRST LEG OF EXAMS ON MONDAY SO YAY TO THAT!! OKAY I THINK WE'LL MOVE SLOWLY WITH BABY STEPS JUNGKOOK DROPPED SOME SELCAS JIMIN DROPPED SOME SELCAS IN THE WORDS OF THE LEGENDARY JEON JUNGKOOK ALL WE NEED NOW IS "together..BAM!" (THAT'S LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS EVER THE WAY HE SAYS IT 🤧)

YES IN THIS HOUSE WE SCREAM OVER JIMIN'S DISRESPECT HE IS THE PARAGON OF A MULTI-FACETED MAN THAT HAS US WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER. THE AUDACITY 😤

CHANEL X JIMIN LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN AND OMG THAT SELFIE THAT DROPPED?? SIR???? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?? I MEAN YES BH SAID LET'S DROP SELFIES IN BULK BUT THAT ONE PICTURE OF HIM IN BLACK(GREY? I DONT KNOW FHSKKAJF) WITH THE SHIRTS UNBUTTONED!!! THEM COLLARBONES ARE FREE AND THEY'RE THRIVING IN THE OPEN IN THAT ONE. ALSO HIS LIPS ARE SO PRETTY. OH GOD LITERALLY HE HAS THAT COCKY SMIRK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE KNOWS HE DOES HOT BOY SHIT LIKE SHUT UP OK YOU CANT DO THAT JAIL FOR U NDNSLSKAJJW

SUCH A FUCKING TEASE THATS RIGHT!! EVEN STRAIGHT MEN?? BRO LIKE HOW DO YOU HAVE ALL GENDERS JUST TRIPPING OVER THEMSELVES FOR YOU IT'S INSANE AND OMG MISS SHIVI HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ONE CLIP IN WHICH JIMIN HOLDS HIS GAZE WITH THESE MEN WHO LOOK AT HIM (i think it was bon voyage?) and when they cross each other he JUST SMIRKS AND RUNS HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR LIKE YEAH OK ALEXA PLAY I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT. AND YES I'LL LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY ANYTIME 💗💗

12PM KST IS THE HOLY HOUR I TELL YOU ALTHOUGH I REMEMBER WAITING THE NIGHT BEFORE BE CAME OUT WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO COME AND BH WAS JUST LIKE "yea...no" OMG THAT'S AWESOME YOUR COUSIN'S VISITING YOU

HHFJDOSO YEAH IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE THEY DID THE JUMP ALTHOUGHHHH I'M POSITIVE THEY'LL DO SMTH COOL LIKE THAT IN THEIR CONCERTS BECAUSE THEIR PERFORMANCE QUALITY IS JUST.. THROUGH THE ROOF IT'S CRAZY!! WHEN THE PERFORM WINGS?? LIKE HOLY SHIT NO CHOREO NO POSITIONS JUST BTS RUNNING AROUND THE STAGE MAKING THE CROWD GO FERAL I LOVE EVERY WINGS PERFORMANCE SO MUCH MY SEROTONIN LEVELS ARE ALWAYS AT A HIGH THEN. OOHH MY GODDD BS&T IS REALLY THAT BITCH!!!! WHO'S DOING IT LIKE HER TODAY NO ONE IS EXACTLY. AND NOOOO I TOTALLY GET IT WE THINK ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH THAT ACCIDENT HAS THE SAME EFFECT ON ME. IF ONLY YOU'D TOLD ME THEN IN 2016 THAT THAT ACCIDENT WAS THE START OF SO MANY I'D BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWED (see: him basically stripping himself that one serendipity performance. holy shit.)

FOR REAL THO CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND DO YOU REMEMBER JIMIN SAYINF uUH iM nOt wORkInG oN a SoLo SoNg aT ThE mOmEnT heHe LIKE ALL MEN DO IS LIE OK AT THIS POINT. BYE. YES TAEHYUNG DID WARN US BUT ARMYS (LIKE MYSELF) PUT THEIR CLOWN WIGS ON AND THOUGHT IT WAS KTH1 LMAO. OMG I HOPE YOU DON'T SLEEP THROUGH ANY OF THEIR UPCOMING SONG RELEASES BUT I'M SURE IT'S THE BEST FEELING TO WAKE UP TO CHECK YOUR NOTIFS AND SEE "Big Hit Labels" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE FIREEE. DUDE SERIOUSLY I NEED JIMIN TO GO LIVE AGAIN (although we've been well fed by namjoon for now🤧😌💗) LIKE THAT ONE YT LIVE WHERE HE SAID "O...M...G" SHUT UP STOP BEING SO CUTE I'M DHJSWLIFJWKALS

LMAO OKAY YEAH THAT'S VALID YOUR BLOG THEME IS BASICALLY ✨jimin✨ AND I LOVE THAT IT REALLY GRAVITATED ME AND YOUR URL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD YOUR BRAINNN 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️

YES YES YES JIMIN IS SO PERFECT AND THE SOCK DOODLESSS 😭😭😭 oooo so when did you get into giffing? how did you start? BROOOOO YOUR URL'S ORIGIN STORY. I LOVE IT WOW YES IT'S DEFINITELY GOT THE REQUIRED ✨pazzaz✨

NOOO OMG THIS URL IS YOUR BRAND LIKE YOU'RE A LEGEND ON ARMYBLR I LOVE IT SO MUCH. BUT STILL!! IT'S YOUR CHOICE AT THE END 💖

OMG QUARANTINE DID IT'S ONE GOOD JOB AND GOT YOU INTO BANGTAN YAY. OMG YOU AND MISS LIFEGOESMON ARE FRIENDSS??? LEGENDS INTERACTING THIS IS SO COOL. LMAO THE PARADIGM SHIFT YOU MUST'VE FELT FROM LISTENING TO STAY GOLD (WHICH BTW THE MV...THE LITERAL CUTEST OH GOD THE LITTLE DOG AND JIMIN'S LITTLE SMILES DHSJAOWO) TO THEN GOING TO BST IN WHICH JIMIN IS BASICALLY STRIPPING AND JUNGKOOK IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO. YES BS&T HAS EVERYONE HOOKED THE POWERRRR. YOU FALLING DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH YOUR FRIEND'S ASSISTANCE OH GOD THIS IS SO CUTE 💓 EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM 🥺🥺🥺

AAAAH OKAY MY STORY ISN'T AS INTERESTING AS YOURS IS BUT IN 2016 BASICALLY ALL I KNEW OF KPOP WAS GANGNAM STYLE AND WASNT WILLING TO CUANGE THAT PERCEPTION (FOOL BEHAVIOUR I TELL YOU) AND WAS TOO BUSY OBSESSING OVER ONE DIRECTION'S REUNION AND SO ONE NIGHT (THE NIGHT BEFORE JIMIN'S BIRTHDAY 🤧🤧) I JUST STUMBLED UPON THEIR BS&T TEARS MV AND I HEARD IT AND I WAS LIKE OMG!! THIS IS THAT SUPER ADDICTIVE SONG THAT I'D HEARD SOMEWHERE AND IT JUST SPIRALLED FROM THERE I REMEMBER SEEING JIMIN AND BEING LIKE 👀👀👀👀 WHO IS HE I LIKE HIM AND JUST HIS AURA DREW ME IN SOOO MUCH AND WHEN I WAS GETTING INTO THEM I REMEMBER WRITING THEIR NAMES IN MY NOTES TO SEE IF I COULD REMEMBER 🤧 AND I STILL HAVE THAT NOTE FROM 4+ YEARS AGO 💓 AND YEAH BASICALLY SEEING THEM DO ALL THE MUSIC SHOWS AND STUFF AT THE TIME WAS SO COOOL AND MIND YOU BH DIDN'T HAVE SUBS FOR BANGTAN BOMBS THEN SO WENT ON THESE SKETCHY DAILYMOTION TYPE SITES LOOKING FOR ALL THE CONTENT I COULD CHURN OUT LMAO

AND YES!! COURTESY OF YOU I DID WATCH SOME RUN EPS!! I WATCHED THEIR CANADA ONES SPEAKING OF WHICH I LOOOVE THAT PART WHERE THEY'RE DOING THAT SONG GUESSING THING IN THE MORNING AND JIMIN SAYS "are you cold?" 🥺🥺 TO TAE AND HUGS HIM URRHRHEHSJSJSH AND I ALSO SAW THE ONES WITH THE PUPPIES GODDDDD I LOVE THE PUPPIES ONE SO MUCH LITERALLY JUNGKOOK AND HIS DOG (MIRI?) OH MY GOD THAT LIL FLUFFER AND ADAM IS MY ICON WITH HOW HE JUST DID HIS OWN THING LMAO.

BUT ANYWAY!! DO YOU HAVE A FAVE ERA?? LIKE DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THEM AND GO "Damn I wish I was a fan then" BECAUSE HONESTLY I WISH I HAD STANNED THEM IN THEIR DOPE ERA BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED JIMIN THEN DHKSOWID-💫

FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME!!!!!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!!! AND YAYYYYY CONGRATS I HOPE THE FIRST LEG OF EXAMS WENT WELL <333333 AND OH MY GOD you’re gonna make me cry with the together baam goddddddd same one of my fave moments and jimin’s giggles after that 😭😭😭😭 my babies <3 :((((

that..... black suit selca....... that opened button...... like open one more dear sir who’s stopping you... just do it <33333 YEAH he totally needs to shut up with his i know im hot side it just kills me every single time 😭😭😭😭😭

LISTEN THAT BV3 MOMENT S H O O K ME OKAY????? THOSE GUYS LOOKED AT HIM AND HE WAS SO FUCKING SMUG ABOUT IT (AND HE SHOULD BE) AND THE WAY HE LICKED HIS LIPS AND RAN HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR????? LIKE HE KNOWS HE HAS EVERY SINGLE PERSON; NO MATTER WHAT GENDER; WRAPPED AROUND HIS LIL PINKY LIKE THAT???????

OH MY GOD ME TOO I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE THE WINGS STAGE AND WATCHING THEM HAVE SO MUCH FUN IS JUST SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I ALSO ABSOLUTELY LOVVVEEE THEIR ENERGY DURING THE SY TOUR MEDLEY WITH IDOL AND BAEPSAE AND FIRE AND DOPE ZSXDFGFCHGVJBHJN THEY JUST LOSE THEMSELVES IN THE CROWD AND THE MUSIC AND ITS JUST SO FUCKING SURREAL TO WATCH HOW MUCH THEY ENJOY DOING WHAT THEY DO!!!!! kinda makes me want to find that happiness and passion in whatever i do in my professional life <3 and LISTEN jimin said the break the soul commentary THAT HE COULD DO SERENDIPITY SHIRTLESS TOO. THE AUDACITY. HE SAID THAT WITH HIS WHOLE CHEST.

YOU KNWO WHAT I THINK JIMIN WON’T GIVE US A HINT BEFORE DROPPING PJM1. HE’LL JUST DROP IT ONE FINE DAY OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE HE DROPPED PROMISE AND CHRISTMAS LOVE (i wasn’t here when he dropped promise but i read that on twitter sdfghjkl) AND NO PLS NO I DO N O T WANT TO SLEEP THROUGH JJK1 OR KTH1 OR PJM1 OR KSJ1 OR NAMGI MIXTAPE 3 OR HOBI MIXTAPE 2 OR ANYTHING BASICALLY YOU GET IT i had slept through dynamite cb because i had NO CLUE that they were gonna drop it at 1pm kst rather than 12 am kst. i was under the impression that since they dropped all the teaser pictures and the teaser itself as 12 am kst, the mv will drop at 12 am kst too. and I woke up like two hours after the mv dropped (which was almost noon my time) and i felt like A FUCKING FOOL AND I JUST 😭😭😭😭 NEVER WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN 😭😭😭

AND YES BABIE NEEDS TO COME LIVE SOON PLS I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH :((((( AND HIS O...M.....G HAD MADE ME FUCKING SOBBBBBBBBBBB his yt live god he looked sooooooo fluffy with his hair and his tiny hands and his puppy eyes and soft voice im just so 😭😭😭😭😭😭

NO NONNONONONO PLEASE IM NO LEGEND DON’T SAY THAT IM EMBARRASSED im just a normal fangirl who makes okayish gifs 😭😭 and ok yes so i started giffing LONNNGGGGGG time back on a different public fan forum from my country but i never knew the right process and stuff so obviously the gifs were shitty lmao BUT ANYWAY i got into gifmaking PROPERLY this in july last year and obviously struggled a lot in the beginning because i didn’t know shit about colouring and stuff lmao but i kept practicing and even though im not perfect rn i do think that i got better. i love giffing tho. its such a nice creative outlet and whenever i gif the boys it brings me so much happiness :( <33

AND YES ASDFGHJKL ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS SINCE A VERY LONG TIME SDFGHJK LIKE LONG BEFORE BOTH OF US GOT INTO BTS SDFGHJ and ah yes the whiplash lmaooooooo and you’re right god the stay gold mv is SO FUCKING PRETTY THE COLOURS IN THAT ENTIRE MV HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND JIMIN AND TAE AND JOON WITH THE DOGGO JUST EVERYTHING SDFGHJK <3333333 AND BS&T DUDE I GIFFED THE MV YESTERDAY AND IM 💀💀💀💀💀 (like i just giffed jimin from the mv but i did watch the whole thing 5647589 times <333333) AND GUESS WHAT!!!!!! I WAS A LILLY SINGH FAN (IDK IF YOU KNOW HER SHE’S A YOUTUBER) BACK IN 2016 AND PEOPLE BACK THEN HAD REQUESTED HER TO REACT TO BS&T MV AND I HAD WATCHED HER REACTION VIDEO AND (although it didn’t stick with me back then because i was a fucking fool) I DID SOMEHOW REMEMBERED THE JIN AND STATUE KISSING MOMENT AND WHEN IN 2020 I SAW THE MV AND SAW THE KISSING MOMENT MY BRAIN JUST!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE SOMEWHERE AND THEN I REMEMBERED I HAD SEEN THIS IN THE REACTION VIDEO LMAOOOOO i wish i hadn’t been a fool and gotten into them back then :((((

AH NO OMG YOUR STORY IS SOOOOOOO CUTEEEEEEEEEE ATLEAST YOU WEREN’T A FOOL LIKE ME TO NOT GET ATTRACTED TO BS&T THE FIRST TIME OF SEEING IT!!!! I WANNA HIT MY 2016 SELF LIKE DAMN YOU YOU FOOLISH ASSHOLE AND yes omg how did y’all do the subs thing damnnnnn i can’t imagine

AND YES THE CANADA RUN EPIS ARE LOOOVVVEEEE and that vmin moment plsssssss i cry everytime 😭😭😭😭😭 it is just so soft and innocent and tae’s little smile after jimin just turns around and hugs him 😔😔😔😔 i love soulmates 😔😔😔😔 AND MIRI YES OMG EVERYONE WAS SO IMPRESSED BY THE LITTLE CUTIE AND THE WAY JUNGKOOK JUST KEPT ADORING HER THROUGHOUT MADE ME SO SO SOFTTTT and bro adam is me. i am like that. lazy and un-motivated AF. although if i were a dog and jin were to be my owner i would listen to him so well and jump on him every chance i’d get 😌😌😌

GOD YES RED HAIR DOPE ERA JIMIN 💀 BABIE BUT MAKE IT SEXY 🥵🥵 AND OMG YESDGFHG MY FAVE ERA IS HYYH. ORANGE HAIRED JIMIN. PLS. HE’S EVERYTHING. I WISH I HAD GOTTEN INTO THEM DURING THAT. LIKE THAT ERA IS ..... SOMEHOW SO FUCKING WILD AND STILL SO ASSURING AND CALMING ????? KEEPS ME ROOTED LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN DFGHJKL AND WINGS TOO DAMN I WISH I WAS HERE TO LIVE ALL THOSE AMAZING ERAS. but even though i wish i had gotten into them earlier... i think i found them when i needed them the most. I was going through a very difficult time last year and they somehow they made me feel so fucking safe and at home that the connection was instant. honestly i’ve never stanned or felt a connection with any celebrity as strong as the one i feel with bangtan. its like... they don’t know i exist but they still know EXACTLY what im feeling and what to say or do at that time to make me feel comforted. Its weird god but its true :((( SORRY I GOT EMO I JUST LOVE THEM A LOT SDFGHJKL

#anonymous #replied #💫

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slytherinbangchan · 4 years

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‘📶’ Han Jisung One-Shot (Fake Boyfriend AU)

Blog’s Masterlist

Pairing: Han Jisung x Reader.

Warnings: smut

Word Count: 9.4k

This is my last post of the year. I hope you all enjoy it!

Happy New Year everyone and I wish you all the best. I’ll be back soon posting some of your requests and updating my aus.

Thank you for following me so far and I’ll keep working as hard as I can to try and make you happy with my writing.

-So you moved into your new apartment not that long ago.

-And all these college guys/girls live in that same building.

-It's a bit busy and noisy sometimes but it's ok.

-In the apartment on your right live two guys called Jisung and Hyunjin.

-You know Hyunjin's name cause honestly, who doesn't? It's weird not to hear someone mentioning him on the hallways.

-And Jisung... Well... This is kinda awkward but lets say his bedroom is right next to yours.

-First time you heard someone moaning out his name you blushed and went back to the living room.

-But now you're kinda used to it.

-Sometimes you even shush them.

-Anyway at the apartment on your left lives some guy called Seungmin and another one called Jeongin. You've knocked there more than once asking for some help with you door since sometimes it likes not to open.

-You think Seungmin is kinda nice and cute.

-Right in front of you live Minho and Felix. Bangchan has invited them over some other time.

-Oh yeah, you have a roommante called Bangchan but most of the time he's out working or hanging out with a guy called Changbin.

-Since you're 'new' in the city you don't know a lot of people yet.

-Only these girls from work who won't shut up about guys/girls and sex and you'd wish you were more interested on that but the truth is you're not.

-Like you work so hard and your anxiety is so high you don't even think about it till they bring it up.

-And you're so tired of them trying to fix you up with someone.

-You've told them to stop trying thousands of times.

-But they won't and today is not precisely your day.

-Your head hurts like hell and you just want to go back to sleep.

-'Would you meet my cousin then?' One of your friends asks.

-'What?'. You sigh as you massage your temples. 'I told you I don't wanna meet anyone'.

-'C'moon'. She whines. 'Why not?'

-'Maybe she has a boyfriend already'. The other one says and something clicks in your brain.

-'Yeah. You know what? I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier but I do have a boyfriend so please? Stop trying to fix me up with your cousins'. You say as nicely as you can.

-'You should have told us! What's his name?'

-'What?'

-'Your boyfriend silly, what's his name?' She chuckles.

-'Oh... Uhmm, it's... Jisung'.

-You don't know why you said his name. Maybe cause last night someone else wouldn't stop moaning it and it printed into your head.

-Also how come you have to make up a boyfriend so people would stop trying to fix you up after you told them to stop so many times already?

-You're so mad about that fact right now but your head hurts even worse. You just want them to stop no matter how.

-Anyway.

-One of your friends is looking at you so excited. What is with her now?

-'Jisung huh? What about a picture?'

-'Yeah, show us!'

-'Oh... Yeah, maybe tomorrow I don't have pics of him here cause it's a new phone'.

-They look at you like they're not buying it but finally they let go.

-Back into your apartment you take a shower and lie down on your bed with the lights off trying to calm that headache down.

-Then you start hearing some music from one of the apartments.

-You feel like crying.

-You're so tired and you feel like your head is going to explode any minute now.

-So you stand up and go knock on Hyunjin's door.

-Jisung comes out and says hi to you.

-'Hey I'm like dying here could you not play music tonight? Please.'

-'Yeah you don't look so good'. He says.

-'Thanks'. You sigh. 'So could you?'

-He chuckles softly. 'Sure, don't worry'. He pats your head lightly and you blush.

-You go back to your apartment with your face still burning red.

-He didn't need to be cute.

-He behaves and don't play any music though.

-He even tells Hyunjin to be quiet.

-It's amazing how thin those walls are.

-You fall asleep at some point to wake up the next morning to Chan's worried face looking at you.

-'You look horrible' He says.

-'Okay?'

-'No, like seriously. I already made a call telling your boss you're sick'.

-'Oh... Thanks'.

-'You're welcome'. He says smiling a bit. 'I left some breakfast in the kitchen for you ok? I gotta go tho'.

-'Ok. I'm not leaving my bed anyway'.

-He chuckles as he leaves.

-A while later someone knocks at your door and you practically crawl there to open it.

-'Hey, I've bumped into these ladies on the elevator. They were asking for you'.

-You look at Hyunjin who's pointing at your friends from work waiting behind him.

-'Oh, okay. Thanks'.

-'It's nothing. Are you okay though? Jisung told me you weren't feeling so good last night'.

-Just as he says that Jisung opens the door to leave the apartment.

-You can see your friend's eyes fixing on him immediately.

-'Oh, Jisung I was just mentioning you'. Hyunjin says as he chuckles.

-'Ah really, why?'

-'Omg y/n is this your boyfriend?' Your friends ask. 'You said your boyfriend was some Jisung right?'

-Fuck.

-You just mentally facepalmed yourself.

-The guys look at you and you look at them. Your face so red.

-Hyunjin chuckles. 'I'm gonna go inside'. He says. 'Bye ladies'.

-But your friends are too busy waiting for your answer.

-'Uhm...'

-'What's wrong baby?' Jisung asks you. 'Just tell them'. He says as he walks towards you.

-His hand on your waist.

-'Uhm, okay... Yeah this is my boyfriend'.

-They let out some squeals. 'Omg, y/n he's cute'.

-'Yeah I thought he was ugly and that's why you didn't show us his picture'.

-You force a small laugh and suddenly feel so dizzy you almost faint.

-But Jisung holds you and carry you inside getting rid of your friends.

-He puts you to bed too.

-'I'm sorry about that'. You say not being able to open your eyes cause you got so dizzy.

-He chuckles softly. 'It's okay. They seem like a lot'.

-'They are. Always trying to fix me up with someone'. You sigh. 'I said your name when they asked for my so-called boyfriend. I'm sorry'.

-'It's okay, there's more people named like me'.

-'I guess but also I was thinking of you as I said it'.

-'What?' He asks.

-But you're so weak you just fall asleep.

-When you wake up a couple hours later you find a post it with a note on it. 'Text me when you wake up'. There's also a number written down.

-'Hey, it's y/n. I woke up'. You text him.

-'Hey girlfriend😉'.

-'Ahh... Stop it😩'

-'😂 So I'm not your fake boyfriend anymore?'

-'I don't know...'

-'I don't think your friends are just letting go'.

-'😩😩😩 I know'.

-'It's okay. I don't mind being your fake boyfriend'.

-'Really?'

-'Yeah but... You may have to do something for me in return'.

-'Uhm... What is it?'

-'Idk I'll figure it out I guess'.

-'Okay? Lol'.

-'Yeah, oh btw Hyunjin knows we're fake dating but dw he won't tell anyone'.

-'Oh, okay. Fine by me. Anyway I'm gonna go grab some food now I guess so... Bye bye~'

-'Bye😊'

-Suddenly you remember Chan left some food for you outside and you go check but you don't see anything but another post it on the fridge.

-'I'm sorry food is gonna be extra cold but I couldn't just let it outside'.

-That one is from Jisung too.

-You smile to yourself. Never thought he'd be that thoughtful before.

-You get some text from one of your friends asking how you're feeling and then to let her know when you're completely fine cause they want to go out on couples date.

-You sigh as you text Jisung about it.

-Then eat something and lie down on the couch.

-A while later someone knocks on your door again and you whine all the way there.

-You blush as you see Hyunjin leaning on the door's frame. 'Hey'. He says and you try to fix your hair a little.

-'H-Hey...'

-'How are you feeling?'

-'Ah.. Better I guess??'

-'Yeah? Would you come to a little party at our apartment tomorrow then?'

-'A party?'

-He nods. 'You're Jisung's girlfriend now, right?'

-'I thought he told you we're just...'

-'He did'. He says not letting you finish. 'But maybe you want to invite your friends here so we have everything under control'.

-'Oh... I see. Yeah'.

-He chuckles softly and your heart flutters a little. 'Well, see you tomorrow then'.

-You nod as you close the door.

-Why didn't Jisung just texted you that?? You look at your phone.

-Oh. He did.

-Anyway.

-Damn Hyunjin. Why did he had to come and see you like that again?

-Not that you like him or anything he's just too handsome.

-You feel bad looking that ugly in front of him.

-You text your friends about the party.

-Also you think about if you should tell Bangchan or not about the fake-dating thingy.

-He probably would think is weird you're dating Jisung for real after all your complainings about the noise.

-Maybe not. Maybe he doesn't even care about it.

-And you don't want a lot of people to know the truth just in case so...

-He doesn't come back till very late at night anyway and you're already pretty much tucked into bed by then so you won't tell him tonight at least.

-You text Jisung as you hear Bangchan trying to get some food before sleeping.

-'Hey, no girl tonight?'

-'Got a girlfriend now🙄'.

-'Not a real one😂'.

-'People don't know that😂'

-'Oh, so you're a nice guy huh?😏'

-'Of course I am😂'.

-You chuckle softly as you read his texts.

-'How are you feeling? Hyunjin said you look better'. He says.

-'Ah, really? I guess I am feeling better'.

-'You're coming to the party then, right?'

-'Already told my friends and everything'.

-'😂 Nice'.

-'Who throws a party in such small apartment anyway?'

-'Lol well, it's not exactly a party just some friends drinking at home while listening to music'.

-'So... A party?'

-'😂 Ok, maybe a very tiny party'.

-You chuckle again.

-'Ahh sorry, wifi is failing a lot. Guess I'll try to sleep now'.

-'K~ Good night then, girlfriend'.

-'😂😂Night~'

-You sleep for what it feels like an eternity and when you wake up you feel so much better.

-Thank god it's Saturday but then again you have to go to a party and pretend Jisung is your boyfriend.

-Could be fun though, right? Why not?

-It's been a while since you had actual fun with other people.

-So as the day goes by you start to feel like actually trying and put on a dress and some makeup.

-Hair looking good too.

-No one would say you were feeling like dying just yesterday.

-Chan looking at you as he hears your heels on the floor.

-'Hey, you're going to the neighbors?' He asks.

-'Yeah'.

-'To see your boyfriend?'.

-How does he know already?

-'What?'

-'I'm just kidding'. He chuckles. 'I always thought you had a crush on Hyunjin'.

-'What? I don't'. You laugh softly. 'He's just like so handsome I maybe can't stop looking at him but that's it'.

-'I see' He chuckles. 'Ah I heard Felix and some of the other guys are going to that party too'.

-'And you?'

-'Me? Nah. I gotta finish some stuff with Changbin. He'll be here any minute'.

-'Are you dating Changbin?'

-He chuckles as he playfully raises his eyebrows.

-'What does that mean?' You ask as you chuckle.

-Then someone knocks on your door.

-It's your friends and their partners.

-'Hey, it's too early? It is too early right?' One of them asks.

-You laugh. 'Yeah, I don't know. I think there's people there already'. You say. 'Hey Chan can I leave my phone etc... here? Would you open the door for me later?'

-'I'm not promising I will'.

-You roll your eyes at him. 'I'll take the keys'.

-'Love you!' He says as you close the door after you.

-'That's your roommate? He's kinda cute too'. One of your friends says.

-You smile at her words as you knock at the guys door and Jisung opens it.

-'Hey'. You say, caressing his face.

-'Hi girlfriend'. He says, leaving a kiss on your cheek.

-He smells so good.

-And what's with the skinship?

-You don't know when you got so close but?

-Well guess it's all part of the fake-dating thing but in any case you feel really comfortable around him already.

-He puts a drink in your hands as he winks at you.

-Hyunjin is sitting on one of the sofas with Felix and Minho and some girls you don't know.

-Jisung's hand on your waist as you distractedly try to follow the conversation. 'You look good'. He whispers in your ear and you blush lightly.

-'Thanks. You don't look bad yourself'.

-He chuckles. 'Thanks'.

-'Anyway, what is this party about really?' You ask.

-He srughs. 'Anything I guess. We just wanted to meet with some friends and drink'.

-'Well my friends seem happy so I won't complain'.

-He giggles. 'They seem to like the drinks at least'.

-'I think they just get kinda bored with their partners sometimes so they drink'. You joke.

-'Wow, we'll have to break up if we ever get that bored then'. He says and you chuckle.

-'Yeah I promise'.

-Someone knocks on the door. 'Oh, I'll get that'. You say as you hand your drink to Jisung and go get the door.

-'Oh, hi'. Seungmin says.

-'Hey! Didn't know you were coming'.

-'Yeah, same. Didn't expect you here'.

-'Right... I'm kinda dating Jisung now'. You chuckle.

-'Really??' He tilts his head as he looks at you head to toe. 'Thats a pity'.

-You throw a confused look at him but he just go say hi to the rest kinda ignoring you.

-Jisung walks towards you and gives your drink back. 'Do you like Seungmin?'.

-'He's cute'. You say as you sip your drink.

-'I could help you dating him when we break up if you want to'.

-'Really? I don't know I guess I'll be the same amount of anxious then and that's the reason I'm not dating anyone now'.

-'Well, at least you actually like this guy unlike your friend's cousins'. He laughs. ‘Worth trying’.

-You chuckle too. 'Yeah I guess so. I don't know. Let me think about it'.

-The rest of the night goes nicely.

-You sit on Jisung's lap as you all keep chatting and drinking.

-And you get to know him a bit better.

-It's kinda weird how natural actually feels to be on his arms.

-He's just such a warm person.

-You feel safe with him somehow.

-Suddenly you feel his forehead resting against your back and you turn around a little to try and look at him. 'What are you doing?' You ask, chuckling.

-'Sorry I'm so sleepy and drunk'.

-'Go to bed, idiot'.

-'There's too many people here I can't'. He chuckles too.

-'Hmm... Should we go to my apartment then?'

-'What?' He giggles.

-'You just want to sleep right? I know you don't like me like ''that'' '.

-He scoffs but doesn't say a word just pats your thigh a little so you'll stand up.

-You smile at him and hold his hand to leave.

-Hyunjin looks at you two with a confused face as you walk out the door.

-As you walk to you apartment you realize you're a little bit more drunk than you thought.

-Jisung and you chuckle as both of you hardly manage to reach the door without tripping.

-'C'mon open the door already'. Jisung laughs.

-You chuckle. 'I'm tryiiing'.

-Suddenly the door opens and you see Chan standing right in front of you. 'What is happening?' He asks.

-Jisung and you burst off laughing. 'Dad! You did opened the door for me'. You say as you laugh.

-'Omg y/n you're an adult'. Chan laughs.

-'Yeah, so get off my case idiot'.

-'Whatever'. He laughs again.

-'Oh, hey Changbin'. You say as you see him sitting on the couch. He waves at you.

-You enter your room followed by Jisung and clumsily take off your heels and try to unzip your dress.

-'Could you help me with this?' You ask him and he scoffs as he smiles.

-'Sure'. He says as he zips down the dress. 'I didn't know you were like this'. He says.

-'Like what?'

-'I don't know. Not that serious I guess'.

-'Oh... Well, you see, tonight I'm drunk and not having a headache so...'

-'Fair enough'.

-'Oh you didn't bring your pjs'. You say.

-'Ah, it's okay'.

-You put on an oversized shirt as he sits on the bed.

-Then you push him so he'll get under the covers.

-'Take those pants off idiot or you won't be able to sleep'.

-He laughs but does as you say.

-Then you curl up into him.

-'Ugh I'm so drunk the bed is spinning'. He says.

-'Me too'. You snuggle into him a little more. 'Ah, you smell so nice'.

-He smiles. 'Thanks, you too'.

-'Good night Sungie'. You say, leaving a kiss on his cheek.

-'Yeah... Night~'.

------------------------

-'So, Jisung huh?'. Bangchan asks as you prepare some tea in the morning. 'You sure are more quiet that the others'.

-'That's probably cause we were just sleeping'.

-'What? Really? Why did you bring him here then?'

-'I don't know... We were tired and there was a lot of people at his apartment so... Anyway we were too drunk to do anything'.

-'Hm... Yeah he looked terrible when he left earlier'.

-'I don't feel so good myself I'm gonna take a shower after my tea'. You say as you sit. Your phone chimes then.

-'I had fun last night. Wanna come by and watch some movies with me and Hyunjin as we suffer from hangover together?😪'

-You smile to yourself as you read his text.

-'😂 Yeah, why not. Let me take a shower first tho'.

-Like half an hour later you're all tucked in a blanket with those two.

-You had never noticed how tall and big in general Hyunjin is till now that you have him right besides you.

-His hair still wet from the shower. It's dripping some water over his own face which he dries with the towel on his neck.

-He leaves for a second to grab some food and you follow him with your eyes.

-'Thought you liked Seungmin'. Jisung says.

-'What?' You blush. 'I do'.

-'Really? You looked so mesmerized as you watched Hyunjin just now'.

-'That's... His hair was soaking I was watching the water drop'.

-'Sure'. He says with a half smile.

-'Huh... Are you jealous, boyfriend?' You say as you elbow him softly.

-He scoffs. 'You wish'.

-'Sounds jealous to me'. You chuckle.

-Hyunjin is back with some snacks.

-He plays the movie and you don't mention the jealous thingy again.

-That doesn't mean you're letting go.

-Even if you think Hyunjin will never ever put his eyes on you, that's not really necessary to prove your point right?

-So after a while you just lean over Hyunjin's side a bit. Jisung notices but he doesn't seem to care.

-'Are you okay?' Hyunjin asks.

-'Sorry my head hurts a bit. Do you mind if I lean on you for a while?' You ask.

-'Ah, sure. As long as you need'. He says.

-You lean your head on his shoulder and kinda hug his arm.

-He's blushing and you can tell he's kinda nervous.

-Cute.

-Jisung scoffs softly from the other side of the couch and you smile to yourself.

-After a little while you feel how something is pulling from one of your arms. Taking it away from the hold you had on Hyunjin's.

-You look at Jisung with a satisfied smile on your face.

-'Shut up'. He says as he laces his fingers with yours.

-You chuckle softly as you rest your head on Hyunjin's shoulder again.

-Your thumb caressing Jisung's hand as he holds yours.

-And you feel some kind of butterflies as you feel the warmth of his hand on your hand.

-When the movie is over you just don't wanna move but you have to.

-'Do you guys wanna watch another movie or.. some... wine? For our hungover?' Hyunjin asks.

-'Wine sounds good'. You and Jisung say almost at the same time.

-Hyunjin scoffs amused at your synchronization and goes find the wine.

-This time there's no talking between you and Jisung. But he's not letting your hand go either till Hyunjin is back with the wine.

-You take the cup Hyunjin poured for you and take a sip.

-They play another movie but nobody is watching.

-You're just chatting and laughing.

-Your legs over Jisung's after the second bottle is gone.

-His hands running up your thigh keeping just the right distance.

-'Ok, ok. Can I ask something tho?' Hyunjin says, but he can't stop chuckling before asking.

-'What is iiit?' You ask as you hit his arm softly.

-'Why Jisung?' He laughs again.

-'Why Jisung what?' You ask.

-'Why did you say Jisung's name to your friends instead of mine?'

-Jisung just chuckles as he waits for an answer too.

-You blush, but you were already blushing cause of the wine. 'Why would you ask me that in front of him?' You say playfully hitting him again.

-What a drunk mess you three are right now.

-'C'mon tell us'. Jisung says. 'I'm curious too'.

-'Ah... It's kinda embarrassing'.

-'Ohh, you like Sungieee'. Hyunjin sings.

-'What? Is not that'. You laugh.

-'Then what is it?' He insist.

-'Ahh stop iiiit. It really is embarrassing to say it outloud'. You chuckle again.

-'Leave her alone Hyunjinnie. I'm sure she'll tell me sometime'.

-'Hm...' He makes a pouty face. 'Well, you said you don't like him... Then kiss me'.

-'What?' Jisung asks.

-You're just laughing at what he just asked.

-'She's pretty and we're drunk. I want a kiss. C'mon is not that serious. We're just playing around'. He says as he chuckles.

-Is really Hwang Hyunjin asking you for a kiss right now?

-Jisung scoffs. 'Whatever you two just kiss if you want'.

-Hyunjin srughs and leans over you to kiss.

-His lips colliding with yours without waiting any longer. And you thought it'd be just a quick peck but he goes for it for real and he's such a good kisser.

-He pulls away and looks at Jisung. 'Omg. She's the best kisser ever Sungie. You should ask for a kiss too'.

-Jisung scoffs. 'I'm going to bed'. He says as he leaves his cup on the table.

-You look at Hyunjin with a worried face but he looks as confused as you.

-'Uhm... Don't worry he'll be okay tomorrow. I'm sure he's just super drunk'.

-You nod and help him clean up a bit. The alcohol in your body making it so difficult to move properly but the happy feeling was long gone.

-What's with Jisung?

-You were all having so much fun.

-He should have just asked you to kiss him too and that's it.

-You go back to your apartment and get into bed.

-You hit the wall behind you in bed cause you're kinda mad at Jisung for leaving like that and you want him to know.

-Then you hear something.

-You stumble as you kneel in bed to lean over the wall so you can hear better.

-Is Jisung calling your name?

-You blush as you recognize his moans through the wall.

-He's calling your name as he whines.

-He knows you can hear him you've joked about it a couple times before.

-You feel the heat on your lower body as his cute whines fill your ears.

-You bite your lips as you doubt for a second then you run over Jisung's apartment.

-Your knocks on his door. So needy.

-He opens the door to find you wearing literally just an oversize shirt on.

-You look down and bite your lips as you notice his boner.

-Your hand palming him over his pants. 'What is this about?'

-He gives you a half smile. 'I don't know. I think I was mad at my girlfriend and then I wasn't anymore'.

-You bite his lower lip. 'Next time ask for your kiss'. Your body so close to his.

-He pulls you even closer and finally kisses you.

-Then you both walk to his room without breaking the kiss.

-You push him on his bed and climb over him.

-Biting him everywhere. Kissing him like no one ever has kissed him before.

-You take his joggers off.

-His hard dick hitting his own body as you do so.

-And you're so wet already.

-Is like you've been waiting to do this for so long even when all this started just two days ago.

-He doesn't waste any time and just grabs a condom from the nightstand.

-And you just ride him.

-So hard.

-There's nothing holding you back.

-And this time you can hear his moans directly in your ears.

-His hands grasping at your butt as he helps you with the pace.

-And you're so into it. So wet for him.

-You can feel your orgasm building already.

-You bite your lips not to moan out loud but he wants to hear you, he wants to be praised.

-'I wanna hear your voice baby'. He says. 'Let me hear your beautiful voice moaning out my name'.

-And he's making you feel so good you wouldn't deny him anything.

-You moan out his name as you reach your high.

-He hisses. His fingers going deeper on your skin as he cums.

-He's drooling. His chest going up and down as he tries to catch up his breath.

-You chuckle as you see his fucked up face and kiss him. 'You're so good Sungie. That was amazing'. You say, making him smile. His fingers running down your hair.

-He kisses you again and then you shift to sit next to him.

-His hand resting on your lower back.

-You sigh after a while. 'Guess I should go back and get some sleep before going to work'.

-'Yeah, cause this isn't a bed. It's a pool and you can't sleep in pools'.

-You chuckle as you stand up. Still a bit dizzy cause the wine.

-'You know I came here only in this shirt right? I don't want to go back to my apartment in the morning like this. The guys are always in the hallways'.

-He chuckles too. 'Right'.

-There's a brief silence where you just look at eachother for a second.

-'Let's watch some movies tomorrow too'. You say.

-'Sure'.

-'Well, I really should go now... Bye then Sungie'. You say as you wave him goodbye.

-'Wait, I want a kiss'. He says as he lightly pokes his lips.

-You chuckle softly but kiss him. 'Sleep well you idiot'.

-'I totally will'.

-------------------------------------

-Next morning goes by so quickly.

-You barely slept but at least you're in a good mood.

-Work hours fly.

-Soon you're at your apartment humming some song as you get out the shower.

-'So, Jisung huh?' Bangchan says as you walk to your room. 'I take back the quiet thing. You two were l o u d last night'.

-'I don't know what you're talking about'. You say trying not to blush at his words.

-He chuckles. 'Yeah sure. Hyunjin was so surprised this morning when I run into him that he told me'.

-'Told you what?'

-'He went all like 'dude Jisung told me they were just fake dating but that didn't sound fake at all'.

-'Oh god he did told you'.

-'Yeah, he thought I already knew since we're roomates like them'.

-'Are you mad I didn't tell you? I didn't wanna risk more people knowing'.

-'No, I get it but... Jisung? I guess your friends bought it cause they don't know him'.

-'What do you mean?'

-'Like, c'mon you share a wall with him. He never brings the same girl twice'.

-'So?'

-He sighs. 'You know Seungmin right? He didn't buy it at all and he's telling everyone what he thinks about it'.

-'Whatever, let him say what he wants'.

-'Well if you don't want anyone else to find out maybe you should prepare some kind of break up before this gets any further. Just an idea'. He says. 'Or maybe you could come clean with your work friends'.

-Stupid Bangchan. Why can't he just let you be happy for a while?

-'I'll think about it. But the whole idea was to avoid them to fix me with someone else'. You say.

-'Anyway what was last night about?'

-'I don't know... Guess we were just drunk'.

-'Is that so?'

-'You said yourself he's not the kind of guy to get in serious relationships. Why do I have to think about it that much anyway?'

-'I'm pretty sure you've already thought about it'.

-'Well I haven't. I honestly think he doesn't like me like that. We were joking around about him being jealous but... It can't be. He was probably just horny last night and we get along well that's why he...'

-'He what?'

-You blush as you remember how you heard Jisung through the walls moaning your name last night.

-'Nothing'.

-Chan chuckles. 'Definitively not nothing but ok'.

-You nod still blushing and keep looking for an outfit in your drawers.

-He laughs. 'Ugh, it's so weird seeing you like this. At least promise me you'll let me know if something happens. Good or bad okay?' He says before leaving your room so you can get dressed.

-'I will'.

-Hyunjin opens the door for you today.

-'Hi, you look nice'. He says.

-'Thanks, you too'.

-He chuckles. 'Thanks. Jisung is in the shower. Let's sit'.

-'Oh, okay'.

-You think it's gonna be awkward cause you kissed last night and then he said you're a good kisser etc...

-But it's not.

-He just talks to you like nothing happened.

-'Hey, are you dating Jisung for real now?' He suddenly asks. 'He won't tell me'.

-'Ah...'

-'Hey, you're here already'. Jisung says as he dries his hair with a towel. Rescuing you from Hyunjin's question.

-'Fuck off Jisung'. Hyunjin says as he chuckles. 'We were talking about something'

-'Oh, were you? I didn't notice. But I'm here now so it'll have to wait'.

-Hyunjin sighs. 'I'll go find some popcorn for the movie'.

-Jisung chuckles as he walks towards you. 'Hey'. He says, softly.

-'Hey'. You say, same way.

-'Were you able to get some rest before work?' He asks.

-'Yeah, kinda'.

-'I skipped classes and slept the morning away'. He chuckles.

-'Wow, responsible'. You chuckle too.

-'Ugh are you gonna kiss or something?' Hyunjin asks as he stands before you two.

-'Shut up'. You laugh as you kick him lightly. 'What are you doing with that?' You ask looking at the bottle of wine he's holding.

-'Thought today we could just save time and start drinking early'.

-'Will my liver survive getting to know you two?'

-'It's just wine'. Hyunjin says as he pours some on the glasses.

-You hear the door and Hyunjin goes to see who it is but you can't see from the couch.

-'Hey, it's Seungmin'. Jinnie tells you. You can hear him inviting the other one to stay.

-'Are you drinking wine this early in the day?' He asks as soon as he's in front of you.

-You can't really read Jisung right now and it feels weird not being able to but you decide to just ignore that fact.

-Seungmin sits by your side, taking Hyunjin's place.

-Jinnie pouts knowing he'll have to sit alone in the floor but doesn't say anything.

-'Hey what about if we play a game instead of watching the movie?' Seungmin asks.

-'Not a kissing game'. Jisung complains.

-'You're so boring Jisung, really'. Seungmin says.

-'What? I don't wanna kiss my roommate'.

-'So you'd kiss me?'

-'If I have to...'

-You laugh as you see them arguing about it for a while.

-'I wouldn't mind kissing y/n again'. Hyunjin says interrupting the other two.

-'Again?' Seungmin asks. 'When did you kiss her?'

-'Well, yesterday'.

-'Omg, Hyunjin seriously?' Jisung says.

-'What?? You were there. You knew??'

-'Why would you kiss Jisung's girlfriend? In front of him?' Seungmin asks.

-'Ohhhh....' Hyunjin says realizing the problem with what he said a minute ago.

-You just laugh.

-'What is going on?' He asks again. 'Jisung you don't mind Hyunjin kissing her? Can I kiss her then?'

-Jisung looks at you not knowing what to say.

-'Why would you ask him if you can kiss me?' You ask. 'I'm the one you want to kiss'.

-'Right'. Seungmin says. 'Can I kiss you?'

-This guy.

-'Nope. I've got a boyfriend'. You say, smiling at him.

-'Do you really?'

-'What does that mean?' Jisung asks. 'I'm right here'.

-Seungmin looks at him for a moment and then back at you. 'If you happen to break up with this boyfriend of yours, call me. I'll take you out on a real date'.

-You all look at him in silence cause none of you knows what to say.

-He stands up. 'I'm gonna go. I don't like this movie anyway'. He says, then he leaves.

-'What's with him?' Hyunjin asks as he chuckles. 'y/n you really are stealing every guy's heart around here huh'.

-'What other heart have I stolen?' You laugh and he blushes.

-'Ah, I don't know... I just said that'.

-'Well, Chan told me Seungmin was suspecting about us being fake and that we should break up before my friends find out too. But I don't really think he's gonna do much with something he thinks he knows'. You laugh.

-Jisung sighs and gulps down his wine.

-'Anyway, let's watch the movie'. Hyunjin says.

-This time you curl up into Jisung after a while drinking.

-He softly kisses the top of your head as he caress your shoulder.

-His body so warm and cozy.

-Your head resting on the crook of his neck now.

-You leave a kiss there, fighting yourself with all you have not to bite him or go for his lips.

-And he seems to be having some kind of internal fight too.

-Hyunjin disappears for a moment to go to the bathroom or something. You didn't really heard what he said about it. Then you talk to Jisung.

-'Sorry. I guess I'm being too much right now'. You say as you move away a little.

-'Do you still like Seungmin?' He asks right away.

-You don't know what to say.

-'I guess? He's cute but...'

-'Okay'. He says. 'I'm sorry, come here. I'm still your boyfriend for tonight'. He says as he opens his arms to take you in.

-You don't understand what is going on inside his head but also you're kinda drunk to stop and analyze his words.

-Honestly you can only think about kissing him.

-So you do kiss him once before Hyunjin comes back.

-And he didn't expect it but he's not going to pull away either.

-Hyunjin steps aproaches and you stop to look at Jisung's eyes. Then you leave a couple pecks on his lips.

-'Oh, so you're kissing without me now'. Hyunjin says.

-'Hyunjin just shut up'. Jisung says. Then you all go back to watch the movie and drink the rest of the wine.

-You stop before opening a third bottle.

-You sigh. 'I'm not gonna drink anymore. I have work in the morning'. You say, leaving your cup in the table and going back to Jisung's arms.

-'Yeah, guess I should try to sleep too and actually go to one of my morning classes'. Hyunjin says.

-You chuckle. 'Good idea'.

-'Night then guys'. He says as he takes his cup to his room to finish it there.

-You look up to see Jisung's face so close to yours and he looks down to meet your eyes. 'Don't you have morning classes'. You ask.

-'Maybe'. He says, then he kisses you. 'Don't really feel like going anywhere right now though'.

-You scoff softly and kiss him again.

-One of your legs over his lap now, his hand on your thigh.

-And the last thing you want to do is going back home.

-'Can I stay tonight?' You ask with a soft voice.

-He smiles and pecks your lips. 'You can stay'. He caresses your face. 'Let's go to bed'.

-You follow him to his room. 'Can I borrow a shirt or something to sleep in'.

-'Sure. Take whatever you need from that drawer'. He says pointing to the one besides you.

-You put in a plain black tshirt and get into bed. 'Oh, you're taking off your hoodie? Gimmiee please. It's cold'.

-He chuckles and hands you his hoodie.

-And ah, it smells so good.

-It has Jisung's aroma all over.

-You feel some butterflies as you put it on.

-'You look cute in my clothes'. He says.

-'Thanks. Now come here'. You say opening your arms for him.

-He gets into bed and the kisses start all over again till you're so sleepy.

-'I'm calling in sick tomorrow'. You say. 'I don't want to leave this bed'.

-He puts away a lock of hair from your face. 'Yeah, me too. Let's just sleep forever tomorrow'.

-His husky sleepy voice.

-You fall asleep soon after that.

-And then a couple hours later you wake up suddenly.

-Stupid anxiety.

-You look at your side to find Jisung sleeping so peacefully.

-So you snuggle into him and he hugs you back in his sleep.

-Cute.

-Next time you wake up it's still dark but it won't be for a very long time.

-You try to fall asleep again but then Jisung starts to whine softly.

-You're worried at first but then you see his hand moving to his crotch in his sleep, then you notice his boner.

-You chuckle softly and leave some kisses on his neck and cheek.

-'Jisung sweetie'. You call him. 'Baby wake up'.

-He slowly opens his eyes and looks at you. 'Hey'. He says. His voice SO husky. 'I was dreaming about you just now'.

-You chuckle. 'Yeah? And does that have anything to do with this?' You say as your hand runs to his hard cock.

-He smiles and stretches a little. 'Maybe'.

-You scoff and kiss him softly for a while.

-'I don't think it's going down'. He says between kisses.

-'Yeah I figured'. You say, then you lie in bed and take your underwear off. 'So come here'.

-He lets out a half smile as he makes some room for himself between your legs.

-A tiny soft moan leaving your mouth as he enters you slowly.

-He kisses you before starting moving.

-He hardly stops kissing you actually.

-You're surrounded by his aroma as he fucks you while you wear his own hoodie.

-And his movements are so soft.

-Nothing to do with the other night.

-But you're both just so sleepy.

-The sound of his grunts and little soft noises on your ears.

-You kiss and bite his neck and he hisses.

-And you can't help but to moan softly as he thrust into you.

-Your cheeks blushing knowing everyone is sleeping and there's so much silence.

-Ah.. Hyunjin... Bangchan too... They probably just heard you.

-Jisung smiles as he notices you biting your lips not to moan outloud.

-He shifts the position a bit and now he's hitting your g-spot perfectly.

-'Fuck'. You moan out and you can feel his dick getting harder.

-He lets out a grunt.

-His forehead resting on yours before kissing you briefly.

-The warmth of his body against yours.

-And you like everything he's doing right now so much.

-You're dripping.

-Your hips moving as he pounds into you.

-He quickens the pace and your orgasm starts building.

-You moan his name out showering him with praise.

-And he just loves that.

-You reach your high filling the room with moans and he cums as he watches you melting under him.

-Your phone chimes and after a while you sit up to check on it.

-'Wow, just wow y/n'. That's Chan texting. You laugh as you see his text but kinda blush.

-'Who is it?' Jisung asks.

-'I think we woke Chan up'.

-He chuckles and pulls from your arm so you'd fall on his chest. 'Guess we did huh?' Then he kisses your nose.

-So much lazy kissing after that.

-And you don't want to think too much about it.

-But you can't help doing it.

-Cause it feels just so good lying there just kissing and chatting about every kind of stuff.

-And you don't know how much of this is real or just a part of the fake boyfriend thing that went too far but still just a 'fake' thing.

-It feels so real though.

-Maybe it's just you wishing it being that way.

-Ugh how could you fall into this?

-Your anxiety is laughing at you so hard right now knowing what is coming.

-'Hey, are you okay?' He asks.

-'Huh? Yeah...'

-'You looked so serious just now'. He seems kinda worried.

-'Sorry. I remembered something about work'. You lie.

-'Oh... You have to go?' He sits up.

-'Not really... Do you... Want me to go?' You ask sitting up too.

-'No'.

-'Okay'. You chuckle.

-'Sorry, too serious?' He smiles.

-'Yeah, kinda'. You laugh.

-'Well that's cause I really don't want you to go'. He says coming closer to you. He's waiting for a kiss so you peck his lips.

-'Let's get some breakfast'. He says as he gets out of bed.

-You take a quick shower and meet him again outside to walk to a coffee shop.

-'You sure you're okay just with some coffee and toast?' You ask him.

-'Yeah, it's fine'.

-'Ah, shit I forgot something. Sorry. Wait for me just a minute'. You say as you run upstairs.

-As you come back to Jisung you see him talking to Seungmin but they don't see you.

-'Dude, seriously. Are you dating her for real or not?' He asks.

-Jisung sighs. 'Why are you so interested?'

-'You know exactly why'.

-He scoffs. 'Look, I'm just...'

-'Hey'. You say interrumpting them. 'Sorry for making you wait'.

-'It's okay'. He says.

-'Hi, Seungmin'. You say, then you look back at Jisung. 'Should we get going?'

-'Sure'.

-You hold his hand and start walking again.

-You're shaking so he squeezes your hand lightly and you calm down a little.

-Why didn't you let him finish?

-You had no clue of what he was going to tell Seungmin and still couldn't stand the idea of him saying something remotely close to 'I'm just her fake boyfriend and nothing else'.

-Which by the way it's the only ending to what he was saying that your brain can come up with right now.

-But he wouldn't tell him about your deal like that right?

-He would ask you if it was okay for him to tell Seungmin about it.

-Right?

-'Jisung... What did Seungmin want?' You ask without looking at him.

-'Ah... Nothing he was asking again about us'.

-'What did you tell him?'

-'Jisung?' That's another girl asking. She was inside a store but now she's walking towards you two. 'What the fuck? Who's this?'. She asks.

-'Fuck.. This girl...' He mouths under his breath before she gets there. 'Hey, how have you been?' He asks her.

-'What do you mean? I've been pissed since yesterday'.

-'What?' He looks confused but the girl seems pretty mad.

-'You texted me to meet on the same spot we always met and you didn't appear'.

-'Wait, what? No I didn't'. He looks at you. 'Y/n I didn't. I swear'.

-You let his hand go but don't say anything.

-'Then what is this?' The girl asks showing you both the texts.

-'What the fuck I didn't write those'. He says as he holds the phone to read them better.

-You feel your heart crush. 'I gotta go'. You say as you walk away as fast as you can.

-'y/n wait'. He gives the phone back to the other girl and runs after you. 'y/n I didn't write those I swear'.

-'Leave me alone. I'm so stupid'. You say. Tears falling but you're mad.

-'Don't go just... Please'.

-You stop and turn around to talk to him. 'You know, I think this game of us went too far'.

-'What?' He frowns.

-'We should break up'. More tears falling. 'Then you'll be free to go back to bring girls to your apartment and make them scream your stupid name'.

-He scoffs. 'C'mon...'

-'Is that why you did all this?' You ask him. 'You were needy but couldn't call other girls cause what the others would say about you 'cheating on me' and you thought well, why not? I'll just fuck my fake girlfriend'.

-What

-Are

-You

-Talking about?

-You're the first person to know that's not true at all.

-He looks at you. 'You really think so?' He asks.

-'I...'

-He seems hurt.

-'Fuck you'. He says. Then he walks away.

-And it hurts so much.

-Just seeing him go.

-But you feel betrayed.

-You saw the texts.

-You had your doubts before about what you meant for him and now your insecurities sky rocketed.

-And even if deep down you feel everything that happened between you two was real.

-Right now you're blinded by your insecurities and how much it hurt to see those texts.

-Your phone chimes after you've walked around the block for a while.

-Bet is Chan.

-But you don't want to go back just yet.

-You're not ready for his questions or meeting any of the guys in the hallways.

-You sit on a bench in a park and finally check the text.

-It's Hyunjin.

-'y/n Jisung told me what happened I'm so sorry but it's my fault. Can you come by when you're back and I'll explain please'.

-'I don't want to go back. I'm at the park'.

-A while later Hyunjin is sitting right besides you.

-'I shouldn't have told you where I was'. You say.

-'Look, I know what it looks like and I'd be mad too but listen to me please'. He begs. He really looks guilty. 'I was texting this girl and you know how Jisung and I went to buy our phones together and...'

-'Are you going to tell me you can't tell your phone from Jisung's? How about the lockscreen and the background picture?'

-'Yeah I know but we're always changing those to eachother as a joke'. He lets out a frustrated sigh. 'Look I realize how much this sounds like bullshit but I swear it's true'. He takes out his phone. 'See? This is the girl I was talking to. It's not the same one you met today but their names are the same and I dated this one and Jisung dated the other one'.

-'But...'

-'Yeah, I texted that one thinking it was the one I was originally texting to cause their names are the same and didn't realize it wasn't my phone cause I was so drunk'.

-You look at him in silence for a while.

-'y/n please I swear. If it wasn't really my fault I wouldn't even bother on talking to you. I would just tell Jisung to fuck off for being a dick and then I'd be a dick myself and try to hit on you after you broke up with him so please?'

-You try to keep a serious face but you chuckle at that last part. 'Ok, I believe you'. You say and he sighs relieved. 'Still I said some mean stuff. I don't think he'll forgive me that easily'.

-'I know but you have to talk to him'.

-'Yeah, I know... I'll try... But... He won't care... We were just fake dating anyway'

-He lets out an annoyed grunt. 'Oh god, I swear you two are the same amount of stupid. I'm leaving'.

-'Sorry'.

-Hyunjin sighs once more and stands up. 'It’s okay. See you later I hope'. He says and you nod as he leaves.

-You're planning to go back home at some point but you just can't leave that bench.

-Your chest hurts with anxiety.

-You really fucked up huh?

-Jisung must hate you for real.

-You texted him you were sorry a while ago and he left you on read.

-The morning goes by and you're still there.

-There's no need to eat right now since you feel like shit and your stomach is just a ball of anxiety.

-You go for a tiny walk in the park and spend some time in a coffee shop but then you're back on that bench.

-Before you can notice it's already night and still you haven't been able to leave that park.

-Then it starts to pour and you scoff as you laugh at yourself.

-Do you even deserve that rain?

-Knowing how much you love it.

-You look up and let the raindrops fall all over you as you close your eyes.

-And it feels somehow healing.

-Even if people look at you as they run away from the rain.

-They may think you're crazy.

-Your phone has been chiming for a while but you're too afraid to check.

-Your hair all drenched after some minutes under that rain.

-But now with your eyes closed and the sound of the raindrops it's the only time in the whole day you're feeling some kind of peace.

-Suddenly you stop feeling the rain in your skin and hear the sound of it hitting an umbrella over your head instead.

-You open your eyes slowly to see a guy's figure in front of you.

-Then slowly look up to see his face.

-You feel your eyes filling with tears as you see Chan's worried look.

-'Channie'. You hug him as you break into tears inconsolably. 'I fucked up'.

-He pats your back. 'It's okay, let's go home'. He says as he holds your hand so you'd walk with him.

-You're still so afraid to go back and see Jisung around.

-But Bangchan makes you feel safer as he talks to you.

-You are about to finally leave the park when you see a guy waiting under an umbrella.

-You stop for a moment before keep walking and he raises the umbrella a bit so you can see his face.

-Bangchan scoffs softly. 'If you were going to come anyway why didn't you tell me?' He asks him. 'I would have stayed home'.

-'It was a last minute decision'. He says.

-Your heart has stopped for a moment.

-Bangchan sighs. 'Anyway. I'm leaving then. Is that okay?' He asks you and you nod.

-You can feel the rain in your skin again as he walks away.

-Your legs don't want to move anyway.

-Jisung closes his umbrella and looks up.

-'W-what are you doing?' You ask.

-'Just experimenting rain your way'.

-'But... You'll get sick'.

-'And you won't?' He asks.

-'I won't. I never get colds or the flu'.

-'That's weird'. He says.

-'Okay, can you just...' You walk towards him trying to make him use his umbrella again.

-He holds one of your wrists so you'd stop.

-You look up to meet his eyes. 'Ok, I'm sorry. Be sick then'.

-He scoffs. 'I won't'.

-'You will but whatever'.

-'Ok, can we just... I didn't came here to fight you'.

-'I'm not fighting you I'm just worried cause you look so weak. I bet you have a fever the minute you're back at hom...'

-He's kissing you.

-His hands on your waist pulling you closer and your arms over his shoulders.

-You have tears falling down your cheeks again but who could tell with all that rain?

-'I'm sorry'. You say as you pull away.

-He shush you. 'I know. And I'm sorry too, okay? I was so hurt at your words but Hyunjin and Bangchan helped me understand better how you were feeling'.

-'Did you have some kind of meeting while I was away?'

-'Kinda. Chris was really worried about you not answering your phone so he came to our apartment to ask if we knew where you were'.

-'Wow, embarrassing. He really is like my dad huh?'

-He chuckles. 'Yeah, guess he is. He told me I should be the one to come get you but I wasn't sure if you'd want me to so I stayed'.

-'But you came'.

-'Well yeah I stayed for like a minute and then I run here'. He says and you scoff softly.

-Then you kiss him and he smiles.

-'So... Can we date for real now? Please'. He asks as he chuckles. 'Before I kill Seungmin at least'.

-You chuckle too. 'You've been wanting to kill him lately?'

-'Please. I fell for you as soon as you walked in my apartment the day of the party and got to know you for real. Of course I've been wanting to fight Seungmin since then'.

-'Idiot'. You say then you kiss him.

-'You know, I actually love when you call me an idiot cause I can perfectly tell you don't mean it at all'.

-He holds your hand and you both start walking home.

-'I mean it a little'. You say.

-'Nah you don't. You know I'm a genius'.

-'My genius boyfriend who would get a fever just to prove a point'.

-He laughs. 'Shut up. You'd do the same'.

-'Right. Ah so genius Sungie. You know me so well'. You say. 'My genius'. You repeat dramatically.

-'Ew, shut up. You ruined it'. He says then he chuckles.

-You laugh too. 'Sorry. Let's get home already and take a shower to get rid of the cold'. You say.

-'Hm, that sounds really nice. Ok, wanna race there?'

-You start running instead of giving him an answer and he laughs and start running too.

-As you reach the doorway to the building you're breathless and so happy.

-He gets there seconds later.

-You pull from his hoodie and kiss him.

-He picks you up against the wall to keep kissing.

-The rain still falling over you.

-Then the doorman comes out the building. 'Just go inside you're practically home already, idiots'.

-You both laugh and walk inside. 'Sorry'.

-He sneezes as soon as he's on the elevator and you laugh.

-'I knew it'. You say. 'You're sick'.

-'I'm not, shut up'.

-You both leave tiny puddles as you walk with your drenched clothes.

-'Let's go to mine'. He says. 'Hyunjin is at Seungmin's'.

-As you get to his apartment he starts sneezing again.

-'Ah seriously. You got sick'.

-'I'm okay'. He says.

-'Take off those clothes already omg'.

-You get in the shower with him and he looks so dizzy.

-What an idiot. It's just as you said earlier. As soon as he stepped into the building he got sick.

-He kisses you. His hands all over your body.

-But you stop him.

-'Sungie you got a fever we have to get you into bed as soon as possible'.

-He whines and you kiss him. 'I'll cuddle you'. You say.

-He doesn't insist much more cause honestly he really feels sick and just wants you to take care of him even if he won’t admit it.

-You help him get into his pjs and take a shirt for yourself.

-'Aren't you wearing any underwear?' He asks as you tuck him into bed.

-You chuckle softly. 'Yeah, I left those at home Sungie'.

-'Ahh you're killing me. Come here. You said you'd cuddle me'.

-'And I will but let me hang our clothes first so it'll dry okay?'

-'Okay...' He pouts and you leave a peck on his lips.

-You struggle a little to find where to hang your clothes.

-When you're finally back Jisung is asleep.

-You look at him as you smile. Then you sit next to him in bed.

-He shifts to look at you and pulls from you so you'd lie with him.

-His eyes shut and his face is so close to yours.

-You caress his face softly and he opens his eyes a bit to look at you.

-'You okay?' You ask with a soft voice.

-'I love you'. He says and your heart stops for a moment. 'I know it's early to say it but I do'.

-You smile softly. 'I love you'. You kiss him. 'I don't care how early it is. I just feel that way too'.

Fin.

Seungmin’s One Shot ‘Colors’

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deathsmallcaps · 4 years

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July’s Story

My fifteenth Win A Commission contest is Crystal the Wise! If you would like to see my version, and see all my drawings together, please

There once was a gentleman who had quite a daughter. Whatever her teachers gave her to learn, she gobbled up. Foreign languages, geography, so—all were unspeakably easy for her. And mathematics! She could add up columns of figures far better than her father’s accountants could. Before long, she could have taken their place.

When Crystal (for so she was called) grew a bit older, the neighboring children came over to ask her to explain the problems their tutors had set. Soon everyone came to learn from her. In time, word of this reached the king. He wrote to the young woman, saying, “My son is nearly grown, but my daughter has trouble with her lessons, and needs a teacher who could make her understand. Will you come and stay with us for a few months?”

Crystal was delighted to do so. When she arrived at the palace, the king, queen, and princess greeted her warmly. The prince, however, sulked like a little child. He had offered to tutor the princess himself, but the king had said, “You’re too impatient. I have found someone else who can do a better job than you can.”

Over the next few weeks, the prince sat in the back of the classroom and contradicted Crystal whenever she spoke. His interruptions grew more and more frequent. Still, Crystal continued to teach, because she liked the little princess and wanted her to do well. Tired of being ignored, the prince stood up one day and said, “This isn’t how I learned it. Everything you’re teaching my sister is wrong.” Crystal walked right up and slapped him! After that, the prince kept away from her lessons.

When the time came for Crystal to leave, the prince went to his parents.

“I’m grateful for all Crystal taught me, and after all, she’s the cleverest woman in the kingdom. May I have your permission to marry her?” The king and queen eagerly agreed, and Crystal also accepted, figuring it was a good marriage. She hadn’t realized she was worth more.

After the wedding, the prince took his bride to a secluded cottage deep in the forest. As she was changing into her nightclothes, he came in and said, “Well, Crystal, are you ready to apologize for slapping me?”

“Apologize? I was right to slap you! And I’ll do it again if you keep on about it.” Crystal didn’t enjoy violence but knew when to defend herself.

“Is that so?” the prince snarled. He and a couple servants dragged her down to the cellar, where he thrust her through a trapdoor, into a little cell under the floorboards. There was a bed and a table and almost nothing else. In the morning, he asked her if she’d changed her mind, but she said no. Every day he came down and demanded she repent. Every day she refused, despite knowing her chances of survival were diminishing rapidly in such a dangerous situation. She had tried to run away when he first grabbed her, but even her considerable talents were no match against ten armed men.

Crystal grew weary of her imprisonment, but there was no way she would apologize. One day, she noticed a corner of her cell was blowing air, due to a spider’s web flying into her face. She blessed the spider for alerting her, tand investigated the hole. There, she discovered a rushing underground stream. She dug a hole big enough to squeeze through, and managed to swim all the way to her father’s house.

Her father was appalled to find out how she’d been treated. “I’ll see the king immediately.”

“Oh, no, don’t,” Crystal said. “Just dig a tunnel into my cell and bring me some decent food, and of course, my books. The prince only lowers bread and water.” And Crystal swam back to her cell with the prince none the wiser.

At last, he grew tired of her refusals and called down, “I’m going to Paris to enjoy myself. I’ll have a servant feed you while I’m having fun.”

“Go ahead,” she called back cheerfully.

As soon as the prince had left, Crystal bribed the servant to stop lowering bread and water, telling him to lie to the prince should he come back. She ran to her father and, with plenty of money from him, hurried to Paris, formulating a brilliant plan to ruin him forever with her father. There she disguised herself as a girl named ‘Marie’ and bought a house next to her husband’s.

She then forged a letter to the prince’s parents, explaining that ’Crystal’ had died en route to Paris, and that he was going to mourn for a while. Somewhere in the back of her head, she knew this was a dangerous course of action, and very unhealthy emotionally. But she was SO angry.

Then, each day, she drove out in her carriage behind four white horses. Her gown was thick with embroidery, and her fan was trimmed with delicate lace, and she adopted a beautiful Parisian accent. When the prince saw her, he was dazzled by her beauty, though he didn’t recognize her in Parisian fashions. He began courting her, and wedded ‘Marie’ inside a month, never mentioning, of course, that he had another wife back home. Nor did he notice her glittering intellect, and thought her a dumb but lovely creature. Nine months later, she gave birth to twins, a girl and a boy. Since Crystal had learned a bit, she made the prince sign a contract, vowing the children would be his heirs. He signed it, thinking it would be invalid, for she had drawn it up herself and he thought her stupid. He was mistaken.

Three years passed. Then the prince told her he had been summoned home, but didn’t tell her it was for a new marriage. He didn’t know that this third bride had been set up by Crystal’s father. Feeling bored with his (supposedly) new and beautiful wife, he agreed to return home and decided to leave Crystal and his children behind.

Returning home, the prince hurried to the cottage but discovered the cell empty. The servant told him Crystal had died of loneliness, so the prince thought he was in the clear.

His family got him all set up for the wedding, disallowing him to meet his match, claiming superstition. When the day finally came, he said the vows, and everyone cheered. He raised her veil, and saw Crystal grinning triumphantly back at him. His children toddled out from the audience, and he knew he was in trouble.

Stunned to see his triply-wed wife, the prince knelt down before the court and begged her forgiveness. But it turned out, she didn’t have to forgive him.

Her father produced the contract proclaiming the children as the prince’s heirs and a written account of what had passed by Crystal verified by many sources, including the servant who was supposed to feed her. Disgusted by their son, the King and Queen banished him and stripped him of his personal land, money and title, immediately giving them to Crystal. She and her family promptly lived happily ever after.

My Notes

Now, you may not have noticed, but this story? Extremely messed up. I mean, this woman is degraded and goes on the biggest revenge plot I’ve ever seen a female character do in a fairy tale. She even has revenge babies! They are going to have a pretty messed up childhood.

Why did I choose Crystal the Wise? Well, for three reasons.

One, I heard it on, you guessed it, the Myths and Legends podcast. I really liked his rendition, but I did NOT want to type the whole thing out (I did that with a different story of his that I’m going to give to a different little cousin). I found this version online. And this all happens in the story! Crystal is just that machiavellian, and I applaud her! I kind of wish she didn’t feel like she had to continue having relations with her abuser, or to change herself so completely, but she really hit him with the ol’ one-two, and I like it when people can dole out justice like that. Hopefully she had someone to talk to afterwards? Also its pretty problematic the King and Queen did not realize how much of a little creep they raised to be their heir.

Two, I realized I hadn’t done a story from South America yet! I realize its definitely a more modern story, with less ties to the Native people of Chile (btw the royal family of Chile isn’t a real thing), but I really liked it.

Three, I was looking up the Aymara people of Chile for unrelated reasons when I realized I would love to draw the women! I don’t know what the textile industry over there is like, but it must be pretty entrenched in the culture, because they have so many pretty patterns and colors in their everyday wear! Combined with the bowler hats (legend has it that a shipment of bowler hats made it to Chile just when they went out of style, so the haberdashers marketed them to women!) with all the lovely flowers added on, I was excited! So I wanted to draw an Aymara girl.

Now that I’ve explained that, I’d like to explain my drawings. They weren’t as full of background as some of my other drawings, but trust me, I put a lot of effort into them! I had a kabillion reference pictures.

The title is not based off of any movie logo I’ve seen, for once. Rather, it is based a bit off of the ACDC logo. I was working one day, when someone with that logo on his shirt came up to the register. I was inspired! So I quickly sketched out a sort of geometric, sort of lightning-bolt-esque title in between customers. And I liked it!

The second picture, the slap, was a difficult one for me. It combined an unusual perspective, unusual clothing, and unusual face shapes for me. As you’ve seen with my art, and maybe with your own art, it is often very easy to have a character face you and not interact with another object or person, You can’t really have that happen with a slap.

This story is supposed to be set in the early 1700s, when Paris was very in vogue. But as I really wanted to draw a modern Aymara woman, I did play little fast and loose with the fashion. There isn’t too many reference pictures for old Chilean fashion. I had to reach a little. Which led me to using a more European style of dress for the Prince. And this is the only time you get to see *Crystal dress in a way that is normal and comfortable to her. This is an important ‘theme’ of the story - sorry to go all English class on you!

*Just remembered that Crystal is not a very Spanish-sounding name. I’ve never found the story outside, even when I try to look it up in Spanish, so some part of me is worried that someone made it up and pretended it was Chilean. Please let me know if you find anything.

Their faces are different than what I’ve drawn before. As you can see on the prince’s face, he has serious acne. I’m not trying to demonize acne, but I decided that he’s one of those boys who hates getting clean and despite literally everyone telling him so, will not stop touching his face and causing acne. I went through a stubborn phase like that. But I also wanted to show how young and already so privileged the guy is. I really wanted to make him annoying. Crystal also has a bit of acne, to show her youth, but what really makes her face different than my usual fare is the fact she has a mole, never gets to smile of joy in my illustrations, and she is plump. I have a tendency to draw skinny characters I’m trying to get rid of as an artist - I want to be able to draw everyone, anyone. And i think she turned out quite pretty!

Third picture, the cave, was again sort of a challenge. I wasn’t sure at the beginning how to place Crystal so you could sort of see the hole that leads into her room, while also showing her climbing down and the underground waterways she is going to enter. And as you’ve might’ve seen before, when I draw caves and rocks, all I think of is really ‘geometry’ but in the way the guy in this meme thinks of aliens (look up history channel aliens if you don’t know).

But I guess I did it? As for Crystal, you can tell she’s uncomfortable, she’s skinnier in an unhealthy way and colder than before, her hair isn’t in the customary braids but in a crappy bun to keep it off her face, and her dress is in tatters. Not a happy camper, and understandably so.

Last picture, Crystal’s wedding dress, was sort of hard in a different way, again! I decided early on I wanted to base her dress off of Elizabeth’s wedding dress from Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. But I had to draw that while Crystal was holding her two kids on her hips, and smirking. I think I managed it, though. I think it’s interesting to note that the look epitomizes the kind of person she had to emulate while tricking the prince; a meek, european-mimicking little wifey. Totally different than the person she really is, the person she is illustrated to be in the first picture.

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed that! Another problematic story will be the one for next month! Thanks for reading!

@boopboopboopbadoop

#crystal the wise #wac #win a commission #marital abuse tw #commissions open #piff-paff #piff-paff: or the art of government #smack-bam #smack-bam or the art of governing men #Smack-Bam or The Art of Governing Men: Political Fairy Tales of Édouard Laboulaye #Smack-Bam or The Art of Governing Men: Political Fairy Tales of Édouard Laboulaye (Oddly Modern Fairy Tales)

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puffmamaa · 5 years

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Elbow Deep: Part 2

Hey, everybody! So here is Part 2. Finally! After racking my brain for daaayss, I was able to find some inspiration to write this. It will be a series btw. My first, so be gracious. I’m sensitive about my shit.

CATCH UP: Part 1.

Pairing: Erik ‘Killmonger’ Stevens x Black, Dark-Skin, Plus Size OC. (Always💛)

Summary: It all started with a plate of hot wings, y’all.

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: Cussing. Use of the N-word. Mention of the death of a parent. Mention of emotional abuse, fatphobia, & cheating in a romantic relationship. And a small mention of Steve Harvey, just in case the thought of his mustache triggers anybody. 🙃

A/N: I had to make some changes. One big one is that Erik isn’t the director of the Wakandan Outreach Center like what was mentioned in Part 1. He actually doesn’t work with it at all. But it’ll all be explained as we go along. Hopefully, it’ll makes sense. If not, I’ma need y’all to just roll with it anyways lol.

Bold, Italic font is inner dialogue.

——

Janessa moved through the gala hall towards her sit, her thick hips swaying between the tables.

“Girl, where the hell did you go? Leaving me here all by myself,” Chantelle, Janessa’s best friend, scowled lowly. She was a tall, fluffy-thick with sepia brown skin that was complimented well by her long, navy gown. Her fluffy burgundy twist was pinned in a cute updo.

“You’re the one who nearly begged to be my plus one. I figured you wouldn’t mind,” Janessa whispered back, tossing her black, waist length locs over her shoulder as she sat down. “Plus, I was hungry and had to find something actually edible.”

“Heffa, you ate without me? What kind of friend…” Chantelle gave her a betrayed look.

“You looked fine picking at that bird food early. Kiki-ing real hard with whoever that guy was.”

“That’s because he looked like he had a little money. But he was a whole cornball. Going on about Steve Harvey being his role model or something. I couldn’t hear shit else after that.”

Janessa scoffed. “You better leave them bootstrappin’ negros alone.”

“I know. I usually wouldn’t even entertain…” Chantelle trailed off. “Who is that guy staring at you?”

“What?” Janessa replied, looking in the same direction as Chantelle. “Oh. I meet him earlier in the kitchen. We had some wings together.”

“You sure all he wanted was the wings? Cause he’s looking at you like you’re a bowl of gravy. And he’s the biscuit.”

“Girl,” Janessa huffed.

“Uh, uh. He FINE fine.” She squinted her dark brown eyes. “Did you at least give him your number?”

“Hell no. I didn’t come here for all tha—OW!” She yelped.

Chantelle had given her one of those big mama church pinches.

“What the fuck was that for?”

“Letting his delectable ass get away. I should do worse but we in public so I’ll let you live,” she half joked.

Janessa rubbed the sore spot on her thigh and looked over towards Erik. He was staring. And he was fine. It’s not like she didn’t notice before. She definitely did. His smooth brown skin and dark amber eyes. The way his meticulously sculpted facial hair framed his deep dimples. And those lips. She could feel herself starting to overheat. Uh, uh. No Ma’am. To her, a man like that couldn’t be nothing but trouble.

“Girl, I’m good,” Janessa said.

“Nah. You trippin’, is what you is,” Chantelle huffed, turning her attention back to the stage.

—

“And now for a particularly special part the evening. My favorite, I might I add...”

Erik tuned out the sound of T’Challa’s voice. All he could focus on was the beautiful woman in white and the way her dark, umber colored skin glistened against her bright dress. Janessa. The woman he’d just spent over half an hour eating hot wings with. The woman he’d felt oddly comfortable with in such a short period of time. The same woman he let leave his presence without asking her out or at very least, getting her number.

To be honest, Erik didn’t usually have to ask. Women would sell their panties for a chance to get at him. He even had to keep a few beckies at arm’s distance throughout the night. But not her. She actually walked her fine, plump ass out of the kitchen without so much as a second glance back. It hit him in his ego, he’d had to admit. But it also made him more interested in her.

Erik moved from his spot on the wall, eying a way to get over to her.

“Hey—Wait a minute, aren’t you from Wakanda? A short, thin-lipped white man asked.

“No.” Erik said blankly, attempting to move past him.

“Yes! I remember seeing you with the King before. Wa...W’kabi, isn’t it?

“Hell nah,” Erik flared his nostrils. “Ain’t nobody ever tell you it’s rude to talk during presentations?”

“Oh! Well, I didn’t me—“

“Yeah, uh huh,” Erik said inching away. He scanned the room. I just had my eyes on her...

“...so let’s give a round of applause to our honoree, The 2019 Most Influential Community Leader of the Year, Janessa James!”

Erik snapped his neck around so fast he swore he heard it crack. He looked up to see Janessa on stage exchanging a handshake and hug with T’Challa.

—

“I’m so proud of my baby!” Chantelle squeezed her arms around Janessa’s neck. “The best Director East Oakland Community Outreach Center has ever seen and now being honored by the King? My bestie is a bad boosh!”

“Thanks, girl!” Janessa hugged her back just as tight. “But you know we all put in hella work for the community. What would I do without my Assistant Director, holding me down?”

“Well, shit let me hold the award then.” She said taking the plaque from her bestie.

“Congratulations, Janessa!” Shuri hugged her from behind. “I’m so glad you and the center are getting the exposure you deserve!”

“I should be thanking you too. All you’ve done with helping us start the STEM program,” Janessa beamed at the teenage genius.

Shuri shot her a big smile. She had spent the last year partnering with the East Oakland Community Outreach Center. Her work introduced the youth in the community to STEM education they wouldn’t regularly have access to in their underfunded school system. She loved the center and had built meaningful relationships with so many of the people there.

“You are too kind. You know, I...” Shuri turned around slowly, feeling a large yet familiar presence behind her.

“Congratulations. I didn’t know you were being awarded tonight,” Erik said to Janessa, slowly moving his cousin out of the way.

“How do you two know each other?” Shuri questioned.

“We met earlier,” Erik replied, not taking his eyes off Janessa.

“There he goes with that staring again,” Chantelle teased as she moved to greet him. “I’m Chantelle. Janessa’s best friend.” She extended a hand to him.

He smiled and took it. “Erik.”

“MMhmmp! Look at those dimples. Deep enough to hide from the police in,” She chirped.

Janessa chuckled. Her friend was so damn extra.

Erik turned his attention back to Janessa. He look her over slowly and licked his juicy lips. “I was thinking, since we had such a good time earlier, how about I treat you to a real meal?” He ran his knuckle down the length of her arm.

Janessa raised an eyebrow at him, flicking his finger off of her. “Uh, no. I’m good,” she scoffed.

Erik and Chantelle both cocked their necks back.

“You good?”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, are you busy or something? Cause I can do lunch too.”

“No. Well, I am a busy woman. But that’s not why I’m not interested. I just...don’t want to.”

“You don’t want to? Why?” Erik was genuinely confused. He did not expect her to turn him down. “I thought we were vibin’ back there.”

“We had a nice little conversation. A cute time. But that doesn’t mean I owe you a date.” Janessa said in a harsh tone.

“And I—oop.” Shuri yelped.

Chantelle’s jaw damn near hit the floor. She knew her friend to pull no punches with men but she was laying it on extra thick with Erik.

“Come on, baby girl.” Erik ran a hand over his hair. “You serious right now?”

“As a heart attack, baby boy.”

Erik furrowed his brows.

“Well, we’ve got to get going. Bye Shuri. I’ll see you later,” Janessa gave Shuri a quick hug.

She gave Erik a cold once over and turned back at Shuri. “Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

She grabbed Chantelle, whose mouth was still wide open, and headed towards to exit. Erik stood there, still thrown off at the scene that just played out.

Shuri exploded with laughter. “Now, N’Jadaka. I thought you said you had ‘the juice’.”

She patted her baffled cousin on the back and walked away, still giggling.

—

“BITCH, what the hell?” Chantelle pressed hand to Janessa’s forehead. “Did you bump your head or some shit? That fine ass man just asked you out. Not only did you decline, but you left that poor baby with half his face on the floor,” She laid her head back against the seat, still in shock at her friends actions.

“He’s a grown ass man. He’ll be just fine. And like I said to you and him, I’m good,” Janessa bent down to remove her heels. “I know his type. Arrogant. Smooth. And rude as fuck. Talking about ‘Let me treat you to a meal.’ Because I’m a big girl, I must want to eat? Tuh! And did you see him touch me? Uh, uh. He’s probably used to having his way with women.”

“If I were you, I would have let him have his way with me,” Chantelle retorted.

“I’d rather not be number ‘umpeenth’ on his hit it and quit it list.”

“That‘s a damn shame,” Chantelle shook her head. “He look like he got good dick. The kind you need right about now. That ‘let him drop you off at your job in your car’ kind of dick.”

“Well, I guess we’ll never find out.”

“Speak for yourself. I’ma see if his ass is on BLK.” Chantelle pulled out her phone and stated swiping through her apps.

Janessa gave her a vicious side-eye.

“OKAY. I’m was just playing, damn.” Chantelle said as putting her phone away. She pulled out the parking lot and headed back towards their neighborhood.

—

Janessa pushed her large black rimmed glasses further up her face and streched her body in her plush office chair. She rubbed her hands down her high waisted olive colored pants and adjusted her long-sleeved, cream colored wrap top. She sighed as she pulled her long ponytail of locs over her shoulder. The center was preparing for its Annual Juneteenth Celebration. Which meant more work added to her already full schedule. But she couldn’t complain too much. It was her favorite event of the year. The whole block came out; youth, elders, and everyone in between. They’d have spades and uno games going. Basketball and baseball competitions. And a huge cookout, where the women would argue over who made the best potato salad while the men drank Coronas and grilled meat. But the best part was the ending ceremony. Everyone would meet in the basement of the center. One of the griots would tell stories of their ancestors and their survival through middle passage and slavery. The youth would give dance performances and skits, inspired by the favorite Black icons and moments in history. At the end, they would pray and sing songs to pay respect and homage to those that came before them. It was a beautiful day and never failed to bring Janessa to tears. Seeing her culture celebrated so proudly across generations really touched her heart.

A small knock at her door shook her out of her thoughts.

“Come in.”

“Hey, boss lady,” Chantelle smiled, walking into the office. She sat down in one of the chairs in front her friend’s crowded desk.

“Hey, Channy,” Janessa said, “What’s up?”

“Derek just checked today’s delivery. The order for the sports equipment was short.”

“Short? That’s not possible. I doubled checked the numbers myself,” Janessa furrowed her brows. “Did they mix up the order or something.”

“Nope. We both checked the invoice. I wasn’t a mistake on their end.”

“That can’t be right…” Janessa let out a deep sigh. She pressed a button on her office phone, buzzing her assistant. “Tandy, can you come here for a second?”

She was met with low giggles and whispers from the other end.

“Tandy?” She said a little louder.

“Oh! Hey, what‘s up?”

“I asked if can you come into my office.”

“Um yeah, hold on.”

Tandy entered Janessa office holding her cell in her hand. She was tall, slim and light-brown skin with a short brown TWA.

“You rang?” She said in a sing-songy voice.

Chantelle groaned.

“You ordered the sports equipment, right?”

“Yeah, I did. Why?”

“Well, only about half came. And based on the invoice, it’s because the wrong order was placed. Did you order thirty, like I asked?”

“Thirty? Girl, I thought you said thirteen. My bad.”

Janessa rubbed the bridge of her nose.

Chantelle gave Tandy a wide-eyed look.

“Tandy. I sent it in an email. And I told you in person. Twice.”

“Ohh, Pffhhtt! I don’t be checking that email like that,” Tandy let out a short laugh. “You want me to order more?”

“No, Tandy,” Janessa tried to remain calm and professional. “They wouldn’t be here in time anyways. I’ll take care of it.”

She shrugged. “Okaay. Well, do you need anything else from me?”

“No, that’s all.”

“Cool. I’ma go head and take my lunch then,” She exited the office, giggling at something on her phone as she closed the door.

Janessa threw her head back and let out a loud groan.

“I swear that girl is gonna be the death of me.”

“I don’t know how you deal with it. Between all the attitude and incompetence. Girl I can’t,” Chantelle shook her head in disbelief.

“Who you telling? If it’s not her constantly messing something up, she’s flirting with any breathing body that walk through the door,” Janessa rolled her eyes. “Last week I caught her getting fresh with the damn UPS man. And don’t get me started on the volunteer sign up. She ‘forgot’ to update the dates on the form and now we’re short-handed for this weekend.”

“Two words: New Assistant.”

Janessa sighed, “I know, I know. But I’m trying to give her a chance, you know? She’s young and needs experience. And you know it’s hard for us. What’s the point of me being in this position if not to put other Black women on?”

“I hear you. But for one, she’s not that much younger than us. And for two, she obviously doesn’t take her job seriously. I get your trying be patient and understanding, but you got to consider the big picture. It seems like she’s adding more stress to your load than anything.”

“Yeah, you’ve got a point,” Janessa rolled her lips, looking off into the distance.

“Listen,” Chantelle rubbed her hands over her knee-length black dress. “There’s something else I needed to talk to you about.”

“Okay. What is it?”

“That whole scene the other night, at the gala.”

“Girl, I know you’re not still on that.”

“Yeah, well you were kind of doing the most, friend. What was up with that?”

“I told you. I don’t trust guys like him.”

“But you don’t know him,” Chantelle said. “He could be a decent guy. I mean, he was cool enough for you to eat chicken wings with. What could a date hurt?”

“Why are you defending him? You don’t know him either.”

“I’m not defending him. I’m looking out for you,” She scooted closer to the desk, looking Janessa in the eyes. “I’ve seen you shut down almost ever guy who shows any kind of interest in you. I know men can be trash but you don’t have to give up on all of them. Everybody isn’t Andrew.”

Janessa shifted uncomfortably at the sound of her ex-boyfriend’s name. “What does he have to do with anything?”

“I mean you haven’t really dated anyone seriously since him. And it’s been years now.”

“So what? Being single is a problem? Turning down some stupid ass niggas who just want to waste my time is wrong?” She scowled in a defensive tone.

“No. It’s just...I worry about you sometimes. I know between dealing with Drew and what happened with you dad, it’s been hard for you to—.”

“I said, I’m fine. Okay?” Janessa fingered the sun-shaped pendant on her necklace. ”Look, I need to pick up this equipment while I have some extra time.”

“Nessa, I’m didn’t mean to upset you,” Chantelle grabbed her hand.

“I’m cool,” Janessa snatched her hand back. She stood up, grabbing her denim jacket and purse. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

Chantelle sighed, walking out of the office with her. “Okay.”

—

Janessa rushed through Joyner’s Sporting Goods, one of the only Black-owned sporting good stores in the city. She hated last minute shopping. But she obviously couldn’t trust her assistant with a simple task. Plus, she needed to get out the office. Chantelle’s comments had gotten to her. She knew she meant well, but her relationship with Andrew was a sensitive topic for her. He was her first everything, including her first heartbreak. She met him right after her father passed. He took advantage of her vulnerability and insecurity, always insinuating she wasn’t pretty enough or needed to lose weight. In the end, he winded up leaving her for some chick he was sleeping with while they were still together. Janessa was a complete mess after that. Chantelle was the one who helped her keep it all together. She didn’t have any other family around since her father was basically a single parent. Chantelle was even the one who encouraged her to start volunteering at the center in the first place. She was all Janessa had.

“Damn. I should have gotten a cart.” Janessa said as she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. She shifted the stuff in her arms around to answer.

“Hello?”

“Hey. Just checking your ETA. We still have some details we need you to finalize for this weekend.” Chantelle said through the phone.

“I’m still in Joyner’s but I should be finished soon,” Janessa sighed, shuffling her weight between her feet. “Channy, I’m sorry about earlier. I know I was a little rude. It’s just all that stuff...I don’t have time for it right now.”

“Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have brought it up while you were working. I was just concerned,” she said.

“I know. And I appreciate it. You’re always looking out for me.”

“And you know this,” Chantelle joked. “For both you and your lil nani, at this point. Because I’m concerned for her too.”

Janessa let out a loud laugh. She turned around to continue her shopping and smacked right into a shelf, knocking everything out of her arms.

“Shit,” Janessa yelped.

“You okay?” Chantelle asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Janessa sighed, trying to balance her phone between her shoulder and ear as she kneeled down. “I just need to hurry up and get out of here.“

“You need some help?”

Janessa looked up in the direction of a familiar voice. Standing there was Erik, with a smug little smirk on his handsome face. He wore a black hoodie that read ‘Lost Tribe’, black basketball shorts, and all black Air Max 90’s. His locs hung loosely to one side.

“Aw hell,” She whispered, still crouched down. “Not you.”

“Look Too Tough, I’m just trying to help. With your short, little arms I don’t think you can hold all that and run ya mouth on the phone at the same time,” He teased, leaning on his shopping cart.

“Huh? Who was that?” Chantelle questioned.

“Nobody. I’ll talk to you later,” Janessa quickly hung up and turned her attention back to Erik. “Too tough? Really nigga?”

“Yea, cause that’s how you was acting the other night,” He grinned, his gold slugs gleaming.

“Whatever,” She tried to grab some of her stuff off the floor. “I’m good, I got it.”

“You good,” Erik mocked, squatting down to help her. “What you need with all these toys, anyways? You got kids?”

“And if I do? Will that get you to leave me alone?”

“Nah. Kids love me,” He placed a couple of baseball bats in the cart.

Janessa rolled her eyes and pursed her lips. “Well, for your information, nosey. I don’t have any kids. These are for the center I work at.”

“Riight. Director of the East Oakland Community Outreach Center. Most Influential Community Leader of the Year.”

“You’ve been stalking me or something?”

Erik chuckled, “No, but I do tend to research things that interest me.”

Janessa snorted, rolling her eyes harder. “You’re laying it on pretty thick there, sir.”

”I could say the same for you and all your attitude, ma’am.”

Janessa let out a long sigh. This nigga got an answer for everything.

“Look, I still have more shopping to get done and other places to be. So, I can’t stand here and chat with you all day.”

“Cool, me too. Let’s go.” Erik grabbed the cart, and turned around. He pushed it towards the next aisle. Janessa reluctantly followed. She didn’t really need a shopping buddy but that didn’t stop Erik from grabbing her shopping list and picking things out. She attempted to regain control over her shopping trip but Erik wasn’t having it. Eventually she relented, figuring it was easier to let him take over instead of fighting him in the middle of the store. She tried to keep the conversation at a minimum but that was damn near impossible with all the questions he asked. Eventually, she told him more about her work at the center, including the Juneteenth Celebration. He told her that he owned and operated his own fitness studio, which made sense as to why he seem to know the store like back of his hand. And why he was built like a fucking brick wall. Janessa had to catch herself from staring at his body every time he turned away or bent down. But before she realized it, she found herself actually enjoying his company. Well, for a second time.

They both checked out and headed towards the parking lot. Janessa unlocked her car and popped the trunk. Erik pulled the shopping cart towards it and loaded her bags inside.

“Thanks,” she said jingling her keys in her hands.

“No problem,” Erik closed the trunk. “Honestly, I’m surprised you’re letting me help you, Too Tough.”

Janessa laughed at the nickname this time. “Are you always this corny?”

“You could find out if you let me take you on a proper date.”

“Haven’t we done this already?”

“Yeah, when you shot me down in front of all those people and left me heartbroken in the middle of the floor. Only to twirl away and out the door with your friend,” Erik recited, dramatically flaring his hands. “Yet here I am, brave enough to try again. You gonna go easy on a nigga this time?”

Janessa rolled her eyes. “That was me being easy on you.”

Erik let out a light laugh, “I couldn’t tell. I mean damn, ma. You act like I got the cooties or something.”

Janessa noticed his face soften a little. She sighed. “Listen, I got a lot going on right now. Things have been crazy hectic at work. And this weekend is approaching fast. I have tons of things to do. Paperwork to review. Hella meetings to attend. And I still have to figure out how to replace the volunteers we lost,” Janessa took a long breath to stop her ranting. “I don’t have the time for this.”

“Volunteers?”

“Yeah, we’re short a bunch of volunteers for the celebration.”

“Hmm,” Erik rub his hand through his beard. “You know, I’m free this weekend.”

“What?”

“I’m saying, I can stop by and help out. Whatever you need.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. On one condition, though.” Erik moved closer and lowered himself to meet her height, his nose almost touching hers. The scent of his cologne teased Janessa’s nostrils. Damnit, he smells good.

“And what’s that?” She said, bringing herself back to the conversation.

“You agree to go out with me.”

Janessa squinted her eyes at him. She wasn’t in a position to turn down volunteers, especially if she wanted this event to go off without a hitch.

Erik raised an eyebrow at her, a smirk dancing on his lips.

“Fine. I’m sure your brolic ass could help with some of the heavy lifting.”

Erik shot her a big grin and licked his lips. “Perfect.”

Janessa gave him the center’s contact information and a copy of the event flyer before getting into her car.

“Aight, Too Tough. I’ll see you this weekend.” Erik said.

She pursed her lips lightly. “See you, Erik.”

He winked and jogged off in the opposite direction.

Janessa started her car and pulled out the lot. As she drove, her thoughts drifted to Erik. His persistence was annoying as fuck. But at the same time, kind of cute? She thought about what Chantelle said earlier. Maybe she could give him a chance. It’s just one date.

She let out a deep sigh. The whole thing still made her feel uneasy. Erik was a charming motherfucker. She knew that too much of him and she’d be like Jill Scott, singing about grits and shit.

She clutched her necklace, fiddling with the sun-shaped pendant.

It was going to be an interesting weekend.

——

Taglist: @essaysbyciara @janelledarling @destinio1 @bitchacho25 @chaneajoyyy @quietstorm-73 @lifelover4u

Let me know what y’all think!

Like, comment, & reblog!

🌞

#erik killmonger #erik killmonger x oc #erik stevens x reader #erik stevens imagine #erik killmonger fanfic #erik stevens #killmonger #killmonger x oc #killmonger x reader #killmonger fanfic #killmonger fanfiction #n’jadaka #black panther fanfic #black panther imagine #black panther #Elbow Deep

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tnffc · 5 years

Note

Steter with 21? I love your writing so much btw!!

Ok so, I hope I used the right propt post, which would mean this was “best friend’s sibling au”

It took me quite some time to come up with a version here that worked for me but I am finally done!

So have some very alternative steter:

_________________________________________

Stiles grinned when he saw the beautiful house in the woods come into view.

And he grinned even wider when he saw his best friend Derek step out onto the front porch as he parked his old jeep next to the two other cars.

He got out and Derek shook his head with a smile.

“I can’t believe you are still driving that old thing, it’s a miracle it hasn’t broken apart right underneath your butt yet.”

Stiles patted roscoe’s hood.

“Don’t listen baby, he couldn’t understand the bond we share.”

That made the werewolf raise his eyebrows in the trademark Hale way.

“Should I be jealous?”

After Stiles got his duffle back out of the trunk he jogged up the stairs and went right in for a bear hug with Derek.

“Don’t worry dude, you’ll always be my number one best friend.”

He felt the warm, throaty laugh from Derek rumbling through both their chests and a reassuring hand in the middle of his back.

“I am glad to know that. Now come in dumbass, dinner is almost ready.”

~*~

Catching up with Derek and eating home made burgers was awesome and Stiles just then realized how much he had missed being able to do that while both of them had been away for college.

Time had flown by so fast and before they knew it it had almost been two years since they last had had physical contact.

Of course they had texted and skyped now and then, but it just wasn’t the same as hanging out and spending some quality time.

Derek had gotten even taller and broader it seemed, but Stiles realized he himself had grown as well, because now he was almost Derek’s height, although nowhere near his general size.

And of course werewolf physique meant the guy was able to maintain his muscled appearance just by being.

But Stiles had long stopped envying that. He was doing alright himself, college had taught him that much.

“You got really good at preparing food dude, I was worried all you might eat in college was raw meat from animals you hunted yourself or something.”

Derek grinned.

“I had a short ramen noodle phase, but then I met Braeden and she introduced me to the passion of preparing food, especially for others.”

Stiles smiled as his friend talked about the woman he loved and at the same time really wished he had somebody who made him smile that way.

“Man, you have to introduce her to me while I am visiting. I want to get to know the person that has you grinning like that. She must be amazing.”

Derek kept grinning and his cheeks turned a little red “She really is.”

Stiles took a gulp from his soda before putting it back down.

“I am so glad you got someone, you deserve all the happiness in the world.”

And Derek looked down onto his plate with a soft smile.

“Thank you, Stiles.”

“Only the truth buddy.”

~*~

They were sitting in the living room and playing video games like back in school. Normally A werewolf would easily beat a human, but Stiles’ mother had been the pack’s emissary before she died and Stiles had inherited her magical powers, so he always used a little bit of magic to level the playing field.

It was only fair.

Derek said “Someone just arrived” and moments later the front door opened and not long after someone walked into the living room.

“Derek, who is parking in my usu-”

Peter Hale, looking just as delicious as Stiles remembered, wearing a white v-neck, leather jacket and skinny jeans looked down at Stiles.

Stiles, who was ungracefully sitting on the floor with the controller in hand like a goblin with a treasure and the chewed up lid of his bottle of soda between his teeth.

Derek cleared his throat.

“Peter, you remember Stiles? My best friend from school?”

Peter smirked.

“Oh right, the fact you are chewing on plastic should have reminded me. Even though I was mostly away in college during Derbear’s high school years.”

Derek rolled his eyes.

“Don’t call me that. You were mostly away partying if anything. Just in case your memory is as bad as his, this is Peter my quasi big brother.”

Stiles nodded.

“Yeah I remember. He is actually your uncle, but only six years older than you and you grew up like siblings. And if I remember correctly you were studying to become a lawyer. right?”

Peter and Derek both gave him the Hale eyebrows of curiosity.

Derek with a side of judgement, Peter with a side of- something…

“Yes.” Peter confirmed then “You are correct. I’m actually on a good way to becoming county attorney.”

At that Derek pretended to fall asleep and snored loudly.

“Go brag somewhere else asshole, we want to continue playing the game.”

Peter shrugged “I have work to do anyway.” and then turned on the spot to go upstairs.

Stiles looked at his back -and ass- as he left.

When he was certain Peter was upstairs and would not hear him whispering he looked up to his friend.

“So since he’s still living here, Peter hasn’t chosen a mate yet?”

Derek made a face at the question.

“Ewww Stiles, please tell me you aren’t thinking about boning my brother.”

Stiles tilted his head.

“Yeah I guess that would be weird huh?”

For a moment Derek just stared into nothing and then he sighed deeply.

“No…I get why you would…you two would actually kind of fit together…it’s just…he is not the type to settle down and I really don’t want to get caught in the crossfire when it ends badly.”

Interesting.

“I get what you mean, but nothing could ever change the friendship we have. And I am not looking to settle down either. What I find fascinating is the fact you aren’t at all doubting he would be into me.”

Derek snorted.

“You are Hale catnip Stiles. Have you forgotten Cora, Laura and my cousin Anthony? Mum would probably consider you her favorite child if that was socially acceptable and we have been best friends since first day of kindergarten. Of course Peter would be into you.”

Yes Stiles remembered how obsessed the entire Hale family was with him. He had actually considered Peter a bit of an exception because the guy had never given him as much as a second glance.

“Huh…” he said non-committal and then turned back to the game.

“My turn, I chose rainbow road.”

Derek groaned and let his head fall back onto the couch cushions.

“You really are just as much of an asshole as Peter…”

~*~

When it was 3am Stiles and Derek both decided it was time to head to bed.

The days of pulling all-nighters just for fun were behind them it seemed.

But it had still been a great day and Stiles was looking forward to the next two days.

He also slept in the guest room this time, mostly because he didn’t want to bother them get out a mattress and bedding and shove all that into Derek’s room when there was a perfectly ok bed to sleep in.

He didn’t need the high school experience that badly.

They wished each other goodnight and Stiles went to unpack what he needed for the night.

A sniff at his shirt then told him he really should take a shower before bed.

He wouldn’t want to insult anybody’s sensitive nose after all.

In his boxers and with a towel he made his way to the bathroom only to find Peter in his pajama pants already waiting in front of it.

The door was locked and there was the noise of the running shower coming from the inside.

He rubbed his neck.

“So Derek beat us to it I assume, shouldn’t take long…”

Peter shook his head.

“It’s Laura, she apparently decided to sleep over since she has a case here. Even though her office would definitely pay for a hotel.”

You could hear the frustration in the guy’s voice and Stiles tilted his head.

“You don’t like your sister staying over?”

Stiles got a thickly sweet smile back, he knew Peter probably used it with difficult people at work all the time.

“She has the habit to take forever and to use up all the warm water.”

Yeah ok, that was a bit annoying.

“I see.”

They stood there for a while in silence.

Then finally Stiles decided that was getting too awkward.

He tried to come up with a harmless conversation starter.

Unfortunately the first thing that came to mind while looking at Peter was maybe not the best question for that.

He apparently had stared too long because Peter caught his eyes and gave him a sly smile.

“Take a picture darling, I am very photogenic.”

“I thought werewolf eyes ruin the shot…”

There was a soft chuckle.

“You can learn to control it. I can’t be a public figure and all my pictures turn out bad.”

That made sense.

“Smart. I was actually kind of wondering where your pack tattoo is…but I feel like that might be an insensitive question.”

Peter seemed to consider his response while staring at Stiles.

“Most werewolves put it on a relatively good visible spot so they can be identified as part of their respective pack. I prefer to keep my cards a bit closer. It is on the inside of my left thigh. I-”

Before Peter could say whatever he had wanted to say next the door of the bathroom flew open.

“Oh my god Peter, I swear if you offer Stiles to show him your tattoo I am going to barf. I can smell both of your interest through the fucking door.”

Peter glared at her.

“Is there warm water left?”

She gave him a mean grin “Maybe a little, have fun asshole. Good night Stiles, great to see you again. And if you let Peter fuck you I’ll be disappointed.”

And with that she left both of them.

They gave each other a glance and Peter went to see if the water still ran hot.

“She didn’t lie. Maybe you should go first Stiles, I will survive taking a cold shower.”

Wow, considering what Derek and the others usually said about Peter that was uncharacteristically considerate.

The man seemed to read his thoughts.

“Don’t take all they say at face value Stiles. I can be very nice if I think somebody deserves it.”

Stiles was a bit confused.

“And I do?”

Peter came closer and grinned.

“You haven’t given me a reason to think otherwise. Now take the offer or leave it before I decide I’m an unredeemable asshole after all.”

His thoughts were running fast to come to a decision and suddenly he had a terrible, aweful, delightful idea.

He gave Peter a sly grin himself and stepped into the man’s space.

“We could always just share. Might be a good opportunity to show me that tattoo.”

Peter did not step back and instead licked his lips.

“What about Derek? Or Laura’s disapproval?”

Stiles made another step and their bodies touched, chest to chest, face to face.

“Derek said we would be a good fit and who says I have to be the one getting fucked. Unless you aren’t up for it.”

Peter’s eyes were full of mischievous joy.

“I am up alright.”

“Then let’s get clean.”

#teen wolf #steter #my stuff #stiles and derek are best friends #gaming #flirting #showers #magic!stiles #they grew up together #stiles grew up knowing about werewolves #siblings #sibling banter #nothing too hurtful

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the-lupine-sojourner · 5 years

Text

Love Conquers Amnesia [Amnesiac!Eijiro/Takara(OC)]

Hiya! I saw This video and couldn’t help thinking about KiriKara (my name for the ship. I can’t think of a better one, so if you can, leave it in a comment below!), and this is the result! Anyway, in writing it and trying to think of a realistic way for Kiri to lose his memory, I kinda veered from the video when I meant to practically quote it, but I also like this version, so here we are! Also, if you want more domestic KiriKara, send an Ask or message me and I’ll totally write it (as long as it’s not smut. Sorry!)!!

Real quick before I begin, @dailyojiromashirao is pretty much on my permanent MHA writing taglist, cus they’re always so sweet and supportive! Love you! And maybe @elite-guard-hardygal would enjoy this, too?? IDK. Feel free to ignore, lovey!

Now that that’s done, I will only this before we begin; I hope you all enjoy!

God Bless and Good Day!

~The Lupine Sojourner

(P.S: This guy is my headcanon/faceclaim for Adult!Eijiro, btw. I haven’t seen Bleach, but I know he’s a character in that show. This is the face Kiri makes when he sees his waifu but doesn’t remember her yet. She startles him with her beauty! XD)

Statistically, it was probably more shocking that it took so long for this to happen, given our profession.

But, it was still very shocking to get a call in the middle of a daytime patrol. “Are you Mrs. Takara Kirishima?” The person on the other end asks. I gulp.

“Yes, this is she. Who’s calling?” I ask as politely as I can.

“The receptionist at Sanno Hospital. I’m calling to report your husband’s admittance.” Instantly, my heart plummets into my toes, and the temperature seems to drop below freezing.

“O-oh...I...Is he..?”

“He’s in surgery. We’re still unsure precisely what happened, but more details are emerging the longer we have him. The doctors are very hopeful, however.” I can’t help but not feel comforted by those words. Something could always happen. It only took one wrong move, one instant, for everything to change.

“O-okay. I’ll be there in around thirty minutes. Thank you.” I say, then hang up. I race back to my agency. The one Kiri and I shared, like everything else. I rip off my headgear and toss it into the locker along with my belt, all while calling out the situation, before sprinting for my- -our- -car. We were supposed to drive home together and have a family movie night with our five-year-old son, Senshi.

This wasn’t supposed to happen! Kiri had an amazingly defensive Quirk. How could someone have hospitalized him?!

=#=#=#=#=

“The story we’ve pieced together from the data we’ve collected is this;” the doctor explains when I arrive. “your husband was fighting an unknown villain, and somehow suffered trauma to the head, resulting in the loss of the fight, and…”

“What?” I press urgently. I needed to know!

“Well, with brain injuries...memories are the easiest to lose, we’ve found. It appears your body automatically purges memories first instead of the knowledge of how to breathe, for example. I’m sorry, Mrs. Kirishima, but there is a strong possibility that your husband won’t remember much when he wakes up.” I thank him for telling me absently, eyes peeking into the room, to Kiri laying still on the bed. “And we’re not sure when he’ll wake up. We hardly had to use anesthesia on him for the surgery; he was unconscious when he was admitted, but without any real indication that we could find as to why. I’m sorry.” I nod.

“Thanks for doing what you could, doc.” I murmur, walking slowly into the room. The man smiles sadly at me and leaves me to sit beside Kiri. His hair had to be combed down and messed around so they could run tests to see why he was still out cold, and the black hospital gown looked incredibly odd on him. His chest rose and fell rhythmically. It seemed to lull me into a doze, one I tried to fight without much luck.

=#=#=#=#=

It’s only a few hours later that I wake up, and Kiri still isn’t awake. I hold in a groan and stand, stretching out my back and arms that were sore from sleeping in the chair.

I wasn’t planning on leaving til Kiri woke up and I could ascertain for myself his condition, so I watch him. His chest goes up and down and the heart rate monitor beeps incessantly as time creeps by. It was unknown how long I sat there before I started to fall asleep again. I shook myself. I wouldn’t fall asleep again until I saw Kiri awake.

So I stood again, deciding to leave briefly to get a cup of coffee and call people. Mainly Ma, Pa (what I call Mr. and Mrs. Kirishima) and Katsuki. They deserved to know what had happened.

It went about as well as expected. They were upset (Katsuki vowing to roast Kiri for being so sloppy as to let that villain get a hit on him), but promised to get here soon.

I then got my coffee and headed back to Kiri’s room, only to find him standing and gazing at the sunrise out of his window, his IV pole clutched beside him.

I gulp. Time to see what was what with him. I grin and walk over. “Beautiful, huh?” I ask, sipping the coffee. He flinches, jerking his head to look at me.

“Yea- -uh...did...did the doctors send you?” He asks, stunned, cheeks red. I blanch. Of course. Memory loss was a high probability, the doctor had said.

“N-no.” I murmur, gulping the coffee to avoid talking. How was I supposed to deal with this?! How long would this last?!

“Wow…” He breathes, taking me in and smiling. “You must be the prettiest woman in the whole world.” It’s almost like he wasn’t aware he was talking out loud. I blush. Even without memories of our marriage, he was attracted to me.

“Thanks.” I reply, chuckling. It then drops. “...Do you know my name?” I ask tentatively. Eijiro frowns, scanning me again.

“...I’m sorry, but no...should I?” I sigh. Of course he wouldn’t remember...

“Takara.” I reply. “It’s Takara Kirishima.” There. I’d kinda told him. He’d have to piece it together now. His eyes narrow in thought, then go wide.

“Are you my sister?” He asks. I snort.

“No. No, I’m not.”

“Cousin?” I smile.

“Not a cousin, either.”

“...Then...what?” He asks shyly. I roll my eyes.

“I’m your wife, dummy.” I chuckle, ruffling his hair. He blinks several times, then grabs my left hand. I slip the glove I hadn’t taken off and he stares at the simple sterling silver band around my ring finger.

“...We’re married?” He exclaims, staring at my face now. I grin proudly and nod.

“Yeah. For almost six years now.”

“Whoa, really?! How do I not remember that?! Man, I hit the jackpot!” I chuckle, scratching the back of my head, cheeks scarlet. Wow...

“The doctors aren’t really sure. You were admitted to the ER unconscious and had to go into a brief surgery to try and determine what happened. They still don’t know, but my guess is a Quirk’s to blame.” Kiri nods.

“I have one, too, right? A Quirk?” I nod.

“Yup. You can harden your body using your body’s carbon. Downside is you can’t do it forever.” He frowns, then grins happily.

“I think...I think I remember that!” He cries. “I use it to fight, don’t I?”

“Yup. You’re a hero. You help a lot of people at our agency.”

“Our agency?” Eijiro asks, head tilted. I grin.

“Yeah!” Just then, I hear the door open behind us. I glance over and see Katsuki glaring from the doorway, only halfway out of his costume, as well.

“Hey! Shitty Hair! Remember me?!” Kiri turns.

“...You know me?” He asks. Katsuki does a double-take, then scoffs.

“Right. Forgot. You let a villain hit you with some dumb memory loss Quirk. Your wife called me. I was closer than your parents are, but they’ll be here.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Kiri murmurs, looking at Katsuki’s outfit. “...Are you a hero, too?” Katsuki flinches in irritation, then deflates.

“Yeah. So’s your wife, dumbass.”

“Katsuki, thanks for coming, but don’t be mean.” I warn. I knew, however, that this was just Katsuki being Katsuki. He didn’t really mean it.

“Ground Zero, right? That’s...that’s your hero name?” Kiri suddenly asks, eyes lighting happily. Katsuki smirks.

“Finally, you remember something!” I roll my eyes.

“He remembered his Quirk and that he was a hero before you got here.” I point out.

“I don’t remember my hero name, though. Or yours, Takara. Sorry.” I wave that aside.

“No worries! You wanted to model your hero image after Crimson Riot, so you chose Red Riot as your hero name as an homage.” Eijiro’s eyes light up.

“Oh, right! He’s so manly and hardcore! What’s yours?” I chuckle and rub the back of my neck awkwardly. It always sounded weird when I explained it out loud.

“Well, I’ve always liked foxes and wolves, so I chose Kitsune as my hero name.”

“That’s awesome!” I laugh.

“You had that reaction the day we chose our hero names, too.” I reminisce fondly.

“Yeah, back when you two made dopey heart-eyes at each other in class and we all pretended we didn’t see and wanna puke.” Katsuki adds, scoffing and crossing his arms. His smirk betrays his happiness, though.

“Really?” Eijiro asks, eyeing me.

“We-well, it was more like I made the heart-eyes and then, ah- -do you recall something called the USJ incident? It happened almost nine years ago…” Eijiro frowns.

“I...I think so. We were in some huge building, right? Combat training?” I shake my head.

“No.” I grimace. Even now, the memory was painful, my ribs recalling that day easily. “We were supposed to be doing rescue training.” I murmur. “Then villains attacked. My mom nearly died. She was our teacher.” Eijiro frowns.

“Oh. Right. I was the one who found you, right? Against a fountain with a nearly collapsed ribcage?” I nod.

“Yeah. That was a tough week.” He nods.

“Ah, you babies got over it.” Katsuki muses. “If you ask me, that’s when you two nerds started liking each other and making everyone around you nauseous with your mushy attitude.” Eijiro then blushes and tilts his head, scratching the back of his neck.

“Uh...Takara, I’ve been meaning to ask...do we have kids?” I smile, pulling my phone out. I pull up a picture of Senshi at his fifth birthday (just a few weeks ago), sharp teeth on display as he grins at the camera.

“Yeah; a son, Senshi.” My hand goes to my stomach subtly. I’d planned to tell him the revelation I’d had this morning, the one still waiting on our bathroom sink. But not now. I’d wait til he had more memories to tell him, though. Eijiro stares at the picture for a long minute or two, gently taking my phone.

“He’s just like me…” He murmurs. I nod.

“Yeah.” His black hair came from his father, but the large brown eyes were from my side. It was adorable, and an instant recipe for success on his end when he gave me the infamous ‘puppy eyes’. “He’s a good kid.”

“Yeah, that brat’s alright.” Katsuki admits, scoffing a little. Surprisingly, Katsuki handled Senshi well. He wasn’t usually too forceful and angry with the kid. He’d really come a long way since our high school days, when he’d terrified any child that dared look at him wrong.

“I can’t believe we’re married and have a kid..” Eijiro murmurs thickly, and I notice tears on his cheeks. “How could I have forgotten you? I’m sorry, Takara...I’m so sorry…” I hug him, tears forming in my eyes.

“Eiji, it’s okay.” I murmur, rubbing his back as he clutches me. “It’s not your fault.”

“If I’d just taken care of that villain, none of this would’ve happened.” Eijiro sobs. I blink.

“So...you remember?” I ask, drawing back just enough to look him in the eye.

“Bits and pieces. The more we talked, the more I remembered. The picture of Senshi was like the final key.” He says. “That guy’s Quirk wasn’t affected by my Hardening, and it only took a touch for it to work.”

“Great, you remember, now stop dancing around each other and kiss already.” Katsuki grumbles before I can react. I laugh and hug Eijiro again. He’s blushing as we part a few moments later.

“...Can we?” He asks. “Can we kiss?” It was exactly what he’d said, the morning he’d confessed. We’d gone sunrise hiking and he’d asked that as we watched the dawn unfold. I smile and play with his hair, just like I had that morning.

“Of course you can.” I reply, continuing the reenactment, and he all but tackles me in elation, kissing me so eagerly, I’m pretty sure my lips are swollen and bruised.

“Oi! I know i told you to kiss, but come on! Knock it off!” Katsuki growls. I smile into the kiss and deepen it, knowing it would piss Katsuki off. Sure enough, he growls and is stalking over when Eiji pulls back to stick his tongue at Katsuki.

“Oh, lay off!” He replies. “You’re just jealous cus you’re still single.” Katsuki growls and grabs the front of Eiji’s hospital gown.

“What did you say?!” Katsuki growls.

“Oh, good; I see we were worried for nothing.” Comes the voice of my mother-in-law. I look behind Katsuki and wave.

“Hi, Ma!” I call. I generally call Mrs. Kirishima ‘Ma’ or ‘Mama’, and Mom...well, ‘mom’. “Turns out, Eiji got hit by a Quirk that knocks you out and gives you amnesia, but it’s nullified by showing the victim photos or talking about the missing memories, evidently. He remembers.”

Ma nods. “Thank goodness.” Eijiro hugs his parents.

“Hey, guys.”

“Hello, Eijiro.” Ma replies. Pa smiles and ruffles his son’s hair.

“Gave us quite a scare there, son.” He says. “But, of course, you pulled through!” Eijiro nods.

“Cus Kirishima men always win!” He says proudly, fist-pumping his dad. I roll my eyes. That was part of the reason Kiri was so upset in Middle School; his father encouraged bravery and manliness in his son and when Eijiro failed to act in that attack, it whacked his self-esteem.

But, over time, he’d become every inch a brave, manly hero. And an even better man to be married to. I side-hug him and squeeze his side reassuringly. “And the Kirishima women will always support their man.” I add, chuckling as Ma nods.

“Agreed. Knew I liked you when I met you, Kara.” I grin.

This was what we’d always have; a family to fall back on, no matter how bad or weird things get. Family is priority. Always.

Crappy ending is crappy, but hope you liked the rest! XD

#bnha kirishima #eijiro kirishima #Eijiro Kirishima X OC #Eijiro Kirishima X Takara Yamada (OC)#Amnesia #Fanfiction #OC #Original Character #MHA OC #BNHA OC #BNHA #MHA #My Hero Academia #Boko No Hero Academia #Aiming for Fluff #Might've missed the mark tho

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quirkett · 6 years

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update on my sister

Last I posted here I had texted her and she had yet to respond and everyone was still in a state of “is she okay.” She ended up texting me back that day and throughout the day. She was adamant that she was okay now and would not hurt herself again like that and said some..odd..things about the state of her relationship with her husband which she has now heel-face-turned on (now it’s that he did nothing wrong and everyone needs to leave him alone). I guess the big takeaway is that she is not scared of him and she feels she has a plan if she decides he needs dealt with..

I had a discussion with my mom the whole drive back. She got to vent and I think on the drive up to get me she took a lot of time to reflect on how she really felt and what she really thought of everything that happened. A lot of the information I had before was based on what Mom had relayed to me, so anything she had misunderstood was also passed to me. There aren’t words for how much I love her and how proud she makes me.

Between what Mom talked to me about and what little information I got out of my sister myself:

1) She ultimately does not remember what happened that night beyond she was upset because of her husband and took a bunch of Xanax.

2) It was the single most embarrassing night of her life.

3) We don’t know if she honestly attempted to kill herself. She had minor scratches on her wrists. When her husband found her we’re assuming he saw blood and panicked. Whatever she did do was an act for attention, most likely his.

4) If he would not have reached out to Mom that night it’s possible this entire ordeal would not have happened and all her shit thrown out into the open.

5) She is claiming there is no warrant for their arrest. I guess time will tell with that because her husband is the one that said that there was.

6) There was a lot of misunderstanding between our family and her husband and there was a lot of shit being based on assumptions/accusations being made by people outside her friend circle that want to spread drama.

Every question I asked her personally was met with offense but I can’t say for certain whether it’s because she didn’t want to be truthful, the stress of the situation and her fear of persecution, how her personality just is in general (she’s always been aggressive and she jokes about being hateful), side effects of abusing Xanax, or a combination of all of it.

I’m fairly certain she’s abusing Xanax but I don’t know how often. My older sister is convinced (because of these outside “sources”) that she’s snorting heroine (yeah, that’s a thing)..but the two of them need to be the ones that sort their mess out with each other. Mom has the information that she needs to get my sister the help she needs and she has already informed her that she will do it if she feels things are not getting better; Mom put the ball in her park.

Within the past year, before she hooked up with her now-husband, my sister and her on again/off again boyfriend had officially come to an end. The irony is that he is an addict; she was the one that tried to help him get out of it. Their relationship ended because he officially decided he was choosing his addiction. Life is..funny like that I guess.

I’m certain that she’s staying with her husband because she wants to and not because she feels like she can’t leave. An outside “source” is claiming that he abuses her but the truth of the matter is she is not a person you mess with and if she can’t handle it then our stepdad is also not a person you mess with (my Mom tamed the town Hellboy btw). I don’t like my sister’s husband and I don’t like this stupid secretive shit they have going on but I can at least believe he cares about her and doesn’t abuse her.

As far as my family is concerned my aunt and 16-yr-old cousin that were away on vacation don’t need to know what happened. Mom’s afraid about how my aunt will spread that information (she’s crappy like that) and no one thinks my cousin needs to be burdened with this drama and pain. I’m on the fence with it. She’s not a baby and I don’t want her to think that I can’t trust her to understand heavy shit like this but at the same time she’s not an adult and she has her own problems and a boyfriend she’s crazy about and this is heavy shit.

For the time being, it’s over. Thank you for bearing with me.

#personal things #attempted suicide #self harm

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moonlitgleek · 6 years

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Anonymous asked:

What was going on in the Tower of Joy. I am so confused by it. Why did Rhaegar leave THREE King's Guard with his baby mama and one teenager with his wife and lawful heir?

Because it seems that Rhaegar did not take into account the possibility of defeat.

Rhaegar had put his hand on Jaime's shoulder. "When this battle's done I mean to call a council. Changes will be made. I meant to do it long ago, but . . . well, it does no good to speak of roads not taken. We shall talk when I return."

In his mind, he’d have ridden to the Trident to crush the rebellion then returned to call a Great Council and overthrow Aerys. So Elia and the children, inside the Red Keep and surrounded by guards if not Kingsguard, weren’t in danger as far as he was concerned. That, of course, leaves Aerys but Rhaegar was fighting for Aerys and so was Dorne so Aerys had no reason to harm Elia or the children. Their stay in the Red Keep might not be pleasant (or by choice) but Rhaegar probably did not see a pressing danger in it as long as his father saw that Rhaegar was fighting for him. By the time their presence within Aerys’ reach could turn dangerous (when Rhaegar put whatever plans he had into motion), Rhaegar supposedly would have been back and in place to remove Aerys without posing a danger to his family. Of course Rhaegar failed to take into account his father’s unpredictability and the extent of his paranoia into account, and what that could lead him to do. Indeed, Aerys randomly decided that the loss at the Trident was because the Dornish had betrayed them and refused to send Elia and the children to the relative safety of Dragonstone which ultimately left them at the mercy of the Lannister forces, but oh well.

Note that Rhaegar’s belief in the prophecy has to be taken into account here as well because it’s probably what underlay his conviction of victory. He firmly believed that his children were the three heads of the dragon and meant to save the world, so it’s entirely possible that he believed the same magic that foretold the birth of the three heads of the dragon and that would bring the dragons back would ensure the safety and survival of his children, prophesied saviors that they were. That might have played into his firm conviction of his victory, and could explain how his plans to “protect” Lyanna were equally suspect, or why he committed so many glaring blunders without a thought to the consequences. If you have prophecy and magic on your side, what could possibly go wrong?

For a guy so fond of Summerhall, you’d think he would learn something.

Why, after most of the Royal family was killed because of poor guarding, did they not go to the new King, and pregnant dowager Queen who were actively being percussed?

Some argue that this is the biggest piece of evidence of Jon’s legitimacy and that the Kingsguard were there to protect their infant king. I disagree, because a surprise legitimacy reveal would be a deus ex machina that loses Jon’s story a lot of its narrative weight. And because even if Rhaegar took Lyanna for a second wife (probable), that does not mean their marriage was legal or would be recognized by anyone. More importantly, Jon did not have to be trueborn for the Kingsguard to be assigned to protect him.

Some kings thought it right and proper to dispatch Kingsguard to serve and defend their wives and children, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins of greater and lesser degree, and occasionally even their lovers, mistresses, and bastards.

Of course we then run into one main obstacle: Rhaegar was not king. He never was. But Rhaegar was also not king when he instructed the Kingsguard to stay in Dorne to “guard” Lyanna instead of fulfilling their duty to the king they were sworn to obey

The first duty of the Kingsguard was to defend the king from harm or threat. The white knights were sworn to obey the king's commands as well, to keep his secrets, counsel him when counsel was requested and keep silent when it was not, serve his pleasure and defend his name and honor. Strictly speaking, it was purely the king's choice whether or not to extend Kingsguard protection to others, even those of royal blood.

Aerys was facing an active rebellion that the Kingsguard vows compelled them to defend him against but the three Kingsguard eschewed their duty to the king and followed Rhaegar’s orders instead. So, in practice, Arthur Dayne, Oswell Whent and Gerold Hightower had all but treated Rhaegar as de facto king. They sat out the rebellion because Rhaegar told them to remain at the Tower of Joy, so remain they did. That says much about the allegiance of the three of them to Rhaegar’s person, which falls in line with what Yandel tells us about the state of Aerys’ court in recent years and the factionalism that permeated it between those loyal to Aerys and those loyal to Rhaegar. Arthur Dayne was an open supporter of Rhaegar whereas Oswell Whent is speculated to have been involved in whatever scheme was supposed to take place at Harrenhal. Our knowledge of Gerold Hightower is more limited but it says a lot that the Lord Commander didn’t return to fight for the king but stayed behind where Rhaegar instructed him to stay.

So the Kinsguard stayed with Lyanna instead of going to Viserys because Rhaegar ordered them to, and dead or not, their loyalty to him remained.

(And to be fair, Aerys was murdered by his own guard, while Gregor Clegane scaled Maegor’s Holdfast to get to Elia and Aegon at a time when the city was crawling with an overwhelming number of Lannister soldiers. Those are not good odds for any Targaryen guard.)

Why, when Ned, Howland, et al, finally came for Lyanna, did they fight. It was her brother and a bunch of Northmen. I assume they had a Stark banner. Yeah, if it had been Robert, I’d have been worried, but it was Ned and his buddies. It wasn’t like an army, it was 9 guys, they could have talked for five minutes. Ned wasn't going to hurt Lyanna or her baby.

Yeah, that’s one of the reasons many of us question Lyanna’s assent to remain in that tower and just how “willing” her stay was. According to GRRM:

The King's Guards don't get to make up their own orders. They serve the king, they protect the king and the royal family, but they're also bound to obey their orders, and if Prince Rhaegar gave them a certain order, they would do that. They can't say, "No we don't like that order, we'll do something else."

Which by no means absolve them from the responsibility of choosing to follow Rhaegar’s orders even in defiance of their knightly vows, btw. It’s not like their vows render them physically incapable of defying the king. That was still a choice on their part.

But the fact that Ned had to cut his way to Lyanna’s side does not give the best impression of Rhaegar’s orders to the Kingsguard or speak of Lyanna’s wishes being respected or taken into account. It is quite possible that the Kingsguard were not sure of Ned’s intentions: after all, Ned was one of the leaders of the rebellion and the three knights had received the news about what happened with Elia and her children, and who knows how accurate or comprehensive the account was. They might not have known that Ned spoke against the crime or quarreled with Robert over Clegane, Lorch and Tywin escaping punishment - indeed, he left King’s Landing to lift the siege of Storm’s End and accept the surrender of Lords Tyrell and Redwyne so in their eyes he was working for “the Usurper".

However, my issue with this is that they chose to meet Ned sword-to-sword (using their vows to justify it) without even attempting to suss out his intentions, or you know, listening to the sister who knew that her brother would never hurt her or her baby. Lyanna clearly trusted Ned and had faith that he’d help her protect her child so it’s not like the Kingsguard had no grasp on who Ned Stark was or what he was capable of. Even if they did not fully trust Lyanna’s account due to her age, illness or general familial bias, surely escorting Ned to her under guard wouldn’t have cost them anything. Or a conversation that wasn’t centered on how the Kingsguard do not flee and that’s why they were fighting the guy who only wanted to get to his sister and who was literally pushed into war, on the assumption that he might just turn out to be a kinslayer after all. I’d have hoped that three of the finest knights in the land would have enough moral judgement to recognize the position Ned was in, his family murdered and his sister missing for over a year and a half. He was only trying to reach Lyanna (who may have been yelling for him, if that part of his fever dream is correct.) Ned did not want to fight. He was sad about having to fight the Kingsguard but they were giving him no choice to get to Lyanna but to cut his way through. The fact that they were keeping him from his sister and that they were complicit in carrying her off means that the onus was on them to prevent bloodshed.

That is all to say that the Kingsguard gave more weight to Rhaegar’s orders - which seem to have been “no one gets past. Period” - over the needs and wants of the dying woman inside the tower who, if nothing else, deserved to have her brother by her side when she died and deserved to have the comfort of knowing that her baby was safe with her beloved brother, instead of taking her last breath as another of her brothers was cut down outside her door.

And what was the plan for them? They didn't know Lyanna was going to die (unless that was the plan), so what where they planning on doing with her and the baby? WTF King’s Guard guys? (you write the best meta so I thought I’d ask if you could help me understand.)

It would have been clear by the time Ned made it there that Lyanna was dying but I really have no idea what their plans were after that, if they had any. My best guess is that they would have taken Jon and crossed the Narrow Sea to Essos, though their reaction to Ned telling them that Willem Darry did exactly that with Viserys and Daenerys could be a counter-indicative to that. But I don’t know what else they could have done.

(Sometimes I entertain the possibility that Davos’ words about Cortnay Penrose “trying to yield with honor.... [e]ven if it means his own life" apply to these Kingsguard, hence their words about how the Kingsguard do not flee. Not that that would have been any better because killing Ned’s companions to accomplish that does not make them honorable, it only makes them awful. Idk, just a thought I had.)

#asoiaf #asoiaf meta #elia martell #rhaegar targaryen #lyanna stark #ned stark #the kingsguard #rhaegar's folly #rhaegar and lyanna #the tower of joy #aerys targaryen #arthur dayne #oswell whent #gerold hightower #robert's rebellion #consent issues

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wannawrite · 6 years

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Don’t Play

who?: Wanna One’s Ong Seongwoo genre: 🌸 type: bullet point the ‘our two lips’ flower boys LDH | PJH | PWJ | KJH | IYM | JH | LGL

blog navigator. • flower boy AU • Seongwoo loves to play but not on the job and definitely not with your feelings the double-edged sword flower boy AU is back, with added Christmas spirit. I kind of lost touch with this AU, it has been awhile. :”) but TYSM for requesting anon!! The boys are back ;) - Admin L

• so you know that guy who is always over enthusiastic and excited about ANYTHING • that is Seongwoo at his finest • you always hear him before you see him • it’s simply a Seongwoo thing you know? • every time, everywhere • in university lectures • at the campus Starbucks • even on the other side of the football field • Ong’s voice will surround you • everyone is blessed with Seongwoo and the whole student body drools when they see him • along with his 10 friends • everyone calls them Wanna One • for some odd reason • strange • literally, everyone loves them • there are fan accounts on IG and Twitter just for individual members • your college is so extra tbh • side note: this actually happened at my friends’ school • like there were fan accounts of the popular boys • lowkey scary tbh • but anyway, they’re Wanna One • they are just THAT good-looking, well-mannered, smart • if you breathe the same air as them, good for you • honestly, you’ve inhaled too much of Seongwoo’s toxicity • he has been your neighbour since two of you were toddlers • but it isn’t that cute, fluffy, scattered with sugar story that is expected • no • the Ongs and your family aren’t exactly on good terms • it isn’t like World War III is about to lash out any moment but that’s exactly what I’m saying • there’s just some unspoken rivalry that neither of the younger generation understands • ‘you must never associate yourself with them!’ • ‘don’t even think about looking about that Ong boy!’ • your parents shut up whenever you question it and your grandparents brush it off • ‘it’s nothing. just ignore them and don’t give charity.’ • lol trying to trip Mr Ong Senior with your walking stick isn’t ‘nothing’ • but whatever, you and Seongwoo just avoid each other • like you’re meant to • your families would throw a big fuss if the two of you were within a 5-metre radius • ‘why can’t we just sell the house and move?’ You’ve asked that question many times • apparently, this house is passed down to your parents from generations ago and they must ‘continue the family tradition’ • this is weird • side note: I’m sure this happened in real life too • so you continue to avoid Seongwoo • even though many of your lectures are spent a few seats away from each other • sometimes you take that chance to ogle his extremely good features • that jawline • his twinkling eyes • those cool three moles on his face that form a perfect triangle • you wonder if he took his family’s eyeliner to draw it on • there’s no way he can be SO flawless • but he is Ong Seongwoo so there is a way • half of you wants to just say ‘f it’ and talk to him but the other, more rational half is saying that he won’t speak to you because of all that family drama • no one knows what even happened • you go about uni ignoring Ong and trying to suppress your feelings for him • but it’s really hard because of how ‘close’ you are to him • like if you concentrate, you can see that he’s actually drawing flowers on his notepad and not taking down notes • Seongwoo also lets Daniel, his best friend, doodle random sketches on his hands and arms • most of them resemble flora like patterns • it’s also not uncommon to see Seongwoo walking home with a bunch of wildflowers in his grasp • he likes flowers • and he’s intimidating • Seongwoo is that guy who will talk a bunch of crap and expect people to know what he’s referring to • only his friends get the drift • he’s just naturally talented in gag • always cheerful, bubbly, making his friends chortle with laughter • he definitely knows how to put on a show • playfully insults all his friends, won’t hesitate to punch one of them - but gently and for fun • you’ve seen enough of Seongwoo’s quirky personality to fall in love • finally, on the very last day of school, you muster up the courage to talk to him • ‘h-hey Seongwoo, c-could you sign m-my yearbook?’ you stutter out, blushing • internally: please! don’t! ever! tell! my! parents! about! this! • smiling, he turns away from Daniel - who wriggles his eyebrows - and takes your book • ‘sure, of course. I can’t deny my adoring fans, can I?’ • he even adds a heart to your yearbook page • you can’t tell if you should cry or laugh • ‘thank you!’ • ah goodness now you have to make up some crappy excuse as to why your parents can’t see your yearbook • ‘oh! that! I...uh left it at Jaehwan’s place by accident. You know...since we went out to celebrate...’ • Seongwoo was at Jaehwan’s house party too, but you never communicated • I guess it’s a good thing? • a wasted opportunity • other than admiring from your living room window or balcony, that’s the last you see of him and the first yet last interaction you had • you need to be careful, your mother caught you staring at him a few times • ‘staring at that Ong boy again?’ she spits out ‘Ong’ so venomously you nearly shrink back • ‘that Ong son is no good? Don’t mix with him! I’m so glad he will be in a different lecture next year. Good grief!’ • your whole family insists he’s bad influence, turning you into somewhat of his rival • it does irk you a little how much they dislike the Ongs • enough to pit their children against each other • sigh • family drama :( • ahhh, another thing happens • Seongwoo starts to pay more attention to you • ‘hi!’ he chimes when he sees you at the bus stop • ‘you asked me to sign your yearbook...and I saw you at Jaehwan’s party. Y/N? Was it?’ • is he really talking to me? • hold up, there are CCTV cameras around here right? • ‘uh, yeah. see you around!’ • *runs* • another time, you’re going out with your friends and he seems to be on his morning run, Nikes, earpieces and all • ‘GOOD MORNING’ • you blush, shyly waving • Seongwoo greets you every time he sees you around and it really worsens your crush on him • for a good week, you try to avoid him as much as possible • please! don’t! smile! at! me! that! way! • if not my heart will flutter wildly :”) • but our families hate each other • for no reason • and I’m not about to go around pulling some modern day Romeo and Juliet shit • btw, I watched the ballet this year and it was very very VERY enthralling. 12/10 would recommend • suddenly, running from Seongwoo becomes a routinely thing • it works • now, it is the only physical activity you will engage in • to hell with physical education • but do take care of your health guys!!! • you find yourself thinking of other things other than him • until Saturday • you and your best friend are on your way to a cafe for dinner • since it’s Soyeon’s birthday, she chooses to dine at Our Two Lips • please support Cube’s amazing rapper, Jeon Soyeon’s debut single ‘Jelly’ • please please Cube is trash but their artists are never • ‘oh! My relative, Guanlin, works there. I’m here to collect blackmail to send to Seonho.’ • my Cube babies :”) • Lai Guanlin? The opposite of ‘flower boy’? • oh well • Our Two Lips is early to celebrate Christmas, the place is already decked out with fake snow, Christmas lights and a hella lot of mistletoe • all the flower boys now boast Santa hats • well, some have Poinsettia flower crowns • Guanlin literally goes tomato red when he sees his cousin • he’s all over her Snapchat story • from a mile away in the Yoo house, you can hear Seonho’s evil laughter cackling • ‘I’m done.’ Guanlin says, tossing his mile of menus to someone else and taking a tray of empty plates from their hands • oh look who it is • your jaw falls open, and immediately, you feel redness creep up your neck and guilt root in your stomach • the man you had been desperately trying to evade • Ong Seongwoo • and his perfect constellation moles • to hell with him in his crisp work attire and bright red Poinsettia flower crown • plus, he did his hair up today • the poinsettia’s are the ones holding his up-do in place • in fact, the dark shade of his hair makes the flower crown POP • w o w • but, to your surprise, there isn’t any huge beaming smile, or jokes falling from his lips • just a serious, suave, look • Seongwoo smiles politely and takes the both of you to your seats • throws a huge fuss when he finds out its Soyeon’s birthday • ‘SuNGWOON HYUNG, iT’S SOYEON’S BIRTHDAY’ • if you don’t get the connection, Sungwoon and Jisung spend a lot of time dabbling in dessert and confectionery other than being flower boys • seen in the other flower boy works ^ • wink wonk check them out via the master list • ʕ ·ᴥ·ʔ • this Seongwoo is so different from the one you’re used to seeing • suddenly, you miss his laughter, his smile and his humour • that small glimpse you had of his personality was enough for you to love it • ‘I’ll be back shortly with your order,’ he says, taking the menus back • cue wink @ you • once he’s out of earshot, Soyeon bursts into a fit of giggles • ‘I knew it! Everyone was betting whether you two liked each other!’ • everyone? • ‘huh? who?’ • ‘oh you know, Daniel, Lin, HyunA, Jisung, Sungwoon, Jihoon, Yeeun, E’Dawn, Hui, Eun-‘ • your hands fly to cover your reddening ears as Soyeon lists pretty much everyone you know • ‘LA LA LA LA LA’ • it doesn’t take you long to realise that you blurted that out a crowded cafe, loud enough for everyone to hear • curious stares bore holes into your back and you can feel the embarrassment choking you • ‘FA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY’Seongwoo belts out, skipping across the room as if it was normal • out from the speakers blast the Christmas carol • the speakers were connected to Seongwoo’s phone via Bluetooth • you’re lucky he invested in Spotify premium as an early Christmas present • ‘to: Ong Seongwoo. With love, Ong Seongwoo’ • he is that hoe who pulls that kind of shit • but yes self love, self appreciation • pretty much forces everyone to join him in a mini Christmas song karaoke session • Soyeon gets the video she needs • Guanlin wants to kill himself so he dabs at the end of every song • all the diners clap and cheer along like nothing happened • they love Jaehwan’s high notes • it takes you a moment to process that Ong Seongwoo, who you tried to hate and avoid • whose family is in deep shit with yours • just saved your ass • albeit it isn’t like he saved you from drowning • well, drowning in your tears of embarrassment but • it’s nice of him to try and cover your peculiar behaviour • ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!’ Ong shouts, spraying canned fake snow • ‘uh, hyung it’s still November.’ Park Woojin reminds softly • ‘well Halloween is already over and we can’t exactly celebrate Thanksgiving right now so it’s practically Christmas already,’ • happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate! • I don’t but I’m thankful for all of you 💓 • Seongwoo wins that mini-debate so it’s declared Christmas starting from 30 November • remember when he said Merry Christmas in the middle of May? yes, mood • ‘JIHOON, I’M GOING TO NEED SOME SNOWMAN LATTE ART’ • ‘JAEHWAN, BRING OUT MORE POINSETTIAS’ • Soyeon simply snickers once more Christmas songs pour out of the speakers • Seongwoo arrives with your drinks and you can’t bear to look him in the eye • ‘Oh gosh Soyeon,’ he whisper-yells. ‘God doesn’t need snow to make an angel.’ • *points at you* • I’m sorry I’m sucking the bad Christmas jokes too much • I can’t believe I came up with that? It’s awful • your face is redder than the Poinsettias or mistletoe decor • when will he give you a break? • never • I love Never so much • ‘hey, Y/N,’ he pauses to set your dinner down • ‘yeah?’ you already know how it’s going to end • you like it • shush, don’t let him know ;) • ‘in my eyes, you’re more radiant than an angel.’ • A S D F G H J K L • that was bad since I made that one up too • you fight a blush and purse your lips, forcing yourself not to smile • ‘I guess you’ll end up on Santa’s naughty list this year,’ you counter-attack • ‘wait...I didn’t know you were into that kin-‘ • ‘because you stole my heart!’ • cutting off Seongwoo for a good reason • he nods in approval, high-fiving you • ‘nice one.’ • all puns intended • with a smile on her face, Soyeon shakes her head and quietly chuckles • ‘you two are the perfect match. I saw it coming.’ • the only rivalry you’ll allow between you and Seongwoo • who can make worst puns? • it’s entertaining to playfully spite him • puns bring people together • Seongwoo looked absolutely dashing • you suddenly love Poinsettias • and mistletoe • but that’s for another day ;) • he’s sweeter than the Christmas stollen you ordered • he’s stollen your heart for sure • puns intended • there’s like 0 way you can hate him now • your family is going to combust if they knew • AHHHHHHH • maybe you’re secretly wishing for Seongwoo to appear under your tree this year • ‘don’t wish for him under the tree, wish for him under the mistletoe!’ Soyeon hisses, winking. • you love her • spending time with your best friend at OTL is 12/10, I’m ready for emotional talks over Christmas scented Yankee candles yes • then • Seongwoo, Sungwoon, Jisung and pretty much all the other staff make their way to your table • you can see the glint of Guanlin’s phone as he records the moment of Soyeon’s face going absolutely red when they start singing ‘happy birthday’ to her • SO CUTE • she’s a girl crush okay, what is my sexuality anymore • the cake that Sungwoon and Jisung made is a mini log cake • those with little reindeer and sleds pinned on the top too • ‘Soyeon, I have locked you in my memory!’ • you don’t need to look to know it’s Park Jihoon and his catchphrases • ‘ahhh, no. That’s now how you do it,’ Seongwoo protests • Jihoon pouts. ‘Okay, show me hyung.’ • ‘Y/N,’ • N O. N O • ‘You have the key to UNLOG unlock my heart!’ He does an ‘unlocking door’ gesture • you can’t contain your giggles and neither can the rest of your friends. • awwwww Seongwoo is really something else • maybe he’s your gift this Christmas • the sweetest, cheekiest, cutest gift ever • you really wouldn’t have it any other way • ‘Seongwoo,’ you call, just before you’re about to leave. • he perks up, a faint pink rushing to his cheeks. ‘yes?’ • ‘maybe...you can give me your number and we can go out more this holiday.’ • his eyes go wide and his mouth falls open a little, shocked • ‘u-uh..sure!’ • he NEVER stutters • ‘I’ll see you around then!’ he yells as you walk out of the shop • outside, there’s a thin layer of snow coating the ground • snow falls • and you’ve fallen for the Ong boy wearing a Poinsettia flower crown • looks like you’ve got a secret to keep this Christmas • and Santa has one wish off your list

#wanna one #wanna one scenarios #produce 101 #produce 101 scenarios #yoon jisung #ha sungwoon #hwang minhyun #ong seongwoo #kim jaehwan #kang daniel #park jihoon #park woojin #bae jinyoung #lee daehwi #lai guanlin

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nightwingswing · 7 years

Text

“Babygirl” (mom! Black canary x reader)

Hello, my lil wings!

Im back!

So this imagine is for @hamsterforlive because she’s feeling sick and needed some fluff! We talked and I asked her for a character. She said Black Canary, So i hope you get better soon and i hope you enjoy it!!! ❤ ❤

Tagging: @plethora-of-things and @hamsterforlive

If you want to be tagged message me anytime!.

(btw, the Black Canary and Harley Quinn scene is CANNON and from the comic Injustice: Gods amongs us Year two)

Hope you enjoy!

Dinah Lance hasn’t had the most easier of lives.

But who was, right?

With her sometimes on-sometimes off relationship with Oliver and her work with The birds of prey as Black Canary, she was content with that.

Until after a rather bad break up with Oliver she started to feel ill, the other birds were worried for her and thus bought a few pregnancy test.

“I’m not pregnant!” She yelled.

“Its just to be sure!” Babs said.

“It just a test! You pee and that’s it!” Selina said.

“argh! Fine! “ She grabs the tests and walks to the bathroom.

“You think she is?” Helena said.

“Maybe” Babs answered

“Totally” Selina smirked.

//*\\

Dinah was waiting for the test results.

“Come onnn, I can’t be with child!” She said when all the pregnancy tests showed

“Nonononononono! IT CAN’T BE!” She screamed and the birds came in.

“Canary?? What’s wrong!” Babs said as Helena grabbed the stick.

“Uh….its positive.” Selina said.

“I KNOW!!” Dinah was panicking. “I CAN’T TAKE CARE OF A BABY!”

“Shhh, Dinah… breath, okay? We will help you,ok? You can take it!” Babs calmed her.

“Yeah” Selina said. “It will be a cute baby. I know she will have a lot of suitors” She grinned.

“OH HUSH!”

//*\\

Even though Canary knew she was pregnant, she couldn’t let her job.

So that’s why she was here, pucking her gut out in front of Harley Quinn.

“Ewwww, whats wrong with you?”

“I-Im fine!” Dinah said.

“Wait, wait!!!!!! Its morning sickness?”

“im not discussing this with you! Let’s just get back to be throwing your ass out of here.” Dinah glared before pucking again.

“HA” Harley snorted.

“You think this is funny?!” Canary glared at the clown.

“I think its hilarious!!” Harley laughed, but bit her lip at the glare of the superheroine. “oh come on! How it’s not funny? You are a superhero with morning sickness!! You save the world and the you throw up! And oh, my god-“

“What” Canary sat on the ground.

“Im picturing you in the third trimester, All fat but still wearing the fishnets” Harley signaled at her belly.

“Stop it!” Dinah said.

“I can’t. That image is seared forever in my brain.” Harley shakes her head.

“Can we please get back to beating each other’s up? Its far less painful.” Dinah said.

“Oh, don’t be stupid. I’m not going to fight you now that I know you’re pregnant….” Harley sat next to Canary and sighed. “I remember how hard it is”

“You remember?” Canary eyes soften.

“huh?” Harley said.

“You remember what?......Harley? Are you…? Did you have a child?” Canary turned to the harlequin, whose expression turned painful.

“Let’s go back to hitting each others, that was fun.”

“Harleen” The clown girl’s face turned away as she wiped the tears.

“I….I have a daughter. Her name is Lucy, she lives with my sister…She’s four and she likes tutus and toy cars. She’s especially likes putting tutus on toy cars, she likes the idea of a ballerina car. I think that makes perfect sense…” Harley smiled sadly hugging herself under the soft eyes of black canary. “Mista J didn’t know about her, I knew that wouldn’t….that he wouldn’t… His work was too important, he couldn’t have a daughter.” Harley eyes closed fiercely, holding the hot aching tears that picked her eyes. “I went away for almost a year. When I came back to my puddin’ he was so funny…. He acted like he didn’t even notice I was gone.” She got up from the ground. “ It wouldn’t have worked, it was better this way…Lucy’s better off. She’ll have a normal life filled with normal day’s and dancing cars.”

That conversation with Harley let Dinah thinking…Did she want her child growing up in this life, always threaten, living on the edge….

But she couldn’t separate from her child….

She loved it too much already.

She put both of her hands on her still flat belly…

“I’m going to protect you, darling.”

///*\\\

Dinah thanked every day that she had the birds to help her.

They covered her up with the league and they also helped with the cravings and all.

She was eating (f/f) when she felt a strong pull on her belly, her hands grabbed the kitchen table hard. A soft moan of pain escaped her lips but after a few seconds, realization hit her in the form of another kick and her hands flew to her tummy.

“Babygirl…” Dinah smiled softly as tears picked her eyes. “My baby”

As tears fell from her eyes, her hands clutched her stomach.

“My baby’s first kick…” She smiled openly.

//*\\

“Omg, Roy that’s horrible.” Babs said

“Excuse you, Lian liked it! Right baby?” Asked Roy with a ugly puffy mustard dress on his hands.

“Ew daddy.” Lian said from Dinah’s arms and Roy had a crestfallen look.

“ If Dick had chosen that dress I would have understand, but you? I thought you were one of the cool kids.” Babs said.

“Hey!” Roy whined.

As they sat down to eat after buying all the needed things, Lian put her little hands on Dinah’s tummy.

“When is baby coming?” She asked.

“Soon” Dinah brushed Lian’s dark bangs. “You will protect her right? You are her big cousin.” Lian smiled, showing her lost tooth

“I promithe!” She grinned.

///*\\\

As Roy escorted Dinah to her apartment with Lian on his arms.

“….” Roy didn’t know what to say, he holds Lian close as Dinah opened her door.

“Thanks Roy, I’m happy you were here.” Dinah smiled.

“I’m happy you trusted me, D” Roy said. “You will be a wonderfull mom, D” Dinah smiled and kissed Roy’s cheek.

“Thank you, and don’t tell Ollie?” She said.

“I won’t” Roy smirked before he and Lian went away.

///*\\\

“Dinah, there are a few weeks until it born, don’t you think you should tell Oliver about it?” Babs asked her.

“No…he’s… Busy right now, and our relationship didn’t end in the best terms last time.” Dinah said.

“Are you feeling okay? You don’t look so well…” Huntress said as Dinah eyes widened and her mouth opened, a wet splash sounded.

“My water broke-“

“WHAT??????!!! OH GOOOOODDD YOU ARE EARLY! OMG OMG! HELENA CALL AN AMBULANCE!” Babs ran to Dinah side to support her. “deep breath, 1,2,1,2” Babs turned to Helena. “ HELENA, THE AMBULANCE!!!!!!!!!!! OH WAIT! THE COSTUMES!!!”

“WHO CARES ABOUT COSTUMES!? IM HAVING MY BABY!” Dinah screamed.

“I’m calling Roy” Babs said. “Helena grab the things! I called backup!” AS Babs said that a car honked outside. Huntress and Oracle helped Dinah down and inside the car, where Dick was driving.

“Hey Dinah! Roy called me! Let’s go!” Dick drove to the hospital like a mad man. When they arrived to the hospital Dick called (more like screamed) for the nurses.

“MY FRIEND BABY IS COOOOOOMIIIIIIIINNNGGGG!!!!” The nurses ran outside to help Dinah in a wheelchair and inside a room.

“Okay Miss Lance, it’s too late for the epidural, so you have to bare with me.” The doctor said. “Look, I can see it’s head. Okay now you have to push, push with me. 1 2 3 push!”

///*\\\

Roy came in in a hurry to see Babs, Helena and Dick sitting in the waiting room.

“Is she-“

“Inside. Lian?”

“With Ollie.” Roy fell on the seat next to Dick and huffed.

“I just hope she doesn’t use the canary’s scream.” Dick smiled.

“…”

“Shit” Roy said.

///*\\\

When the gang entered Dinah’s room they saw her looking down with the most sweet smile. The bundle of joy in her arms whined as Roy approached her.

“Hey D” He looked down the bundle of joy to see a cute chubby face with a bunch of (h/c) and her little fist grabbed his finger. A soft smile came to his lips.

“What’s her name” Dick smiled at Dinah.

“(y/n), (y/n) Lance. “ Dinah smiled at her little babygirl.

“Well, little (y/N), welcome to the Birds of prey!” Babs smiled at the chubby baby.

///*\\\

When Dinah was feeding her little (y/n) Harley came in with a loud bang.

“HAYY! This is the lil’ bundle of joy?! Shes so cute! What’s her name?”

“(y/n)”

“AWWW, lil’ (n/n)!!! I bought you a present!” Harley showed a dog’s muzzle

“QUINN THAT’S A MUZZLE!” Dinah said outraged.

“When she starts super screaming like you, you will thank me. Buuut I guess if you don’t want itttt…..” Harley smirked at the done face of the canary.

“Gimme that!” Dinah grabbed the muzzle as Harley smirked.

“Well,I gotta go! Cute baby and all that jazz! Bu-bay!!” Harley leaved the hospital room as Babs came in.

“Was that-“

“Please leave it be…”

///*\\\

A year after that, You were playing with Lian where you and her were superheroes and had to beat the supervillain (Roy and Dick) under the amused gaze of Babs and Dinah.

“OHH NOOOOESSS, YOU BEAT MEEEE!!!!” Dick fell dramatically like only he knows, to the ground tackled by his favorite girls, Lian and (y/n).

“You will be next, daddy!”

“Ya, Doy next!!” You smiled and the girl’s coed at the cuteness. Babs had taken pics and was sending them to everyone.

“YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME!!!!” Roy laughed as he was tackled by the young girls. “NOOOOOO!!!!” The two boys laughed as they grabbed the girls and smooched them.

“NAYY, DADDY STOOP!!” Lian laughed as Roy beard tickled her

“Didi ztop!!! “ (y/n) laughed wholeheartedly as Dick smooched her. “mommy!!! Didi won’t ztop!!!”

“Want Uncle Dick ass be kicked by mommy?” Dinah smirked as Dick realized he was in trouble.

“YEZ!” You laughed.

“NOOOOO, BABS PROTECT MEEE!!!” Dick screamed.

“lol” said Babs.

///*\\\

“awwwweeee look at her!!! She’s the cutes thing everrrr!!!!” Harley fangirled as she had dressed (Y/N) in a little black canary. “ like her mommy!!! “

“Seriously Harley? Even the fishnets?” Ivy said to her girlfriend.

“Cute!” you laughed.

“C’mon red, she’s adorable!”

“She is, but we will be late to pick Lucy up from school. Remember we were going to show Lucy and (Y/n) the new botanical garden.”

“Ah, you right red.” Harley smiled warmly as Ivy picked you up.

She finally had the family she always had wanted.

///*\\\

It was time for the league to meet you.

To say you were nervous was nothing compared to Dinah’s nerves.

She carried you inside the meeting room where all the other heroes were and let you down in the ground.

“BABY!!!!” Diana yelled and ran towards you.

“DIANA SHE’S NOT MADE OF CLAY!!!” Batman ran behind her.

“Hey D hey lil bird” Roy said.

“Doy!” You hugged his knee as everyone came to meet you except Oliver, who still was surprised as hell.

Dick carried you off to meet his brothers.

“(y/n) This are my bros! Red Robin!” Tim smiles awkwardly at you. “Red hood!” Jay gets his helmet off and smiles at you.

“Hey, lil canary” You reached for him and he came closer. You messed with his hair and then grabbed his to big for you helmet and put it on your head, making you look ridiculously cute.

“Wait, this deserves a pic!” Jason took various selfies of you two together before you noticed Damian and ran to him, hugging his leg and looking up at him with an enamored look.

“oh , Robin! She likes you!!!” Supergirl says. “That’s so cute!”

“TT” Damian looks down at the cute (h/c) girl hugging his leg and blushes.

Damian end picking her up and carrying her around, with (y/N) smiling openly.

After an hour almost all the league was gone, leaving the confrontation Dinah was afraid off.

“….” Oliver didn’t know what to say to Dinah and the little girl on her arms. “So…a daughter…”

“Yes”

“And…its mine?”

“Also yes.”

“…Can I-Can I hold her?” Dinah hesitated but in the end she passed the sleepy (y/n) to Ollie.

“…” Ollie looked down at your sleepy eyes.

“Mommy…Im sleepy.”

“Hello sleepy” Oliver smiled. “ Im dad”

Dinah facepalmed at the same time Roy did.

“Daddy?” You opened your eyes completely. Looked at your mom that smiled.

“Yes, baby its me.” He hugged you and you hugged him. He laughed and hugged Dinah, kissing her cheek.

“Im still mad, Ollie” Dinah smirked. And Ollie pouted.

///*\\\

In the end, Dinah and Oliver carried you to your provisional room in Queen Manor, they kissed your forehead and you mumbled.

“Mommy, Daddy…can I go play with robin again??” You asked sweetly. Ollies face turned red in anger and Dinah sweetly kissed your hair.

“Of course, baby! Now sleep” Dinah dragged Oliver out.

And when they were in a safe distance…

“LIKE HELL MY BABYGIRL IS GOING TO DATE THAT DEMON CHILD SON OF THE BAT!!!!!” Ollie yelled under the amused look of Dinah.

“Of course not, Ollie…of course”

Bonus!

Damian sneezed as his bros looked at him amused.

“Someone is talking about you” Jay smirked.

“Probably bad, because you are a demon.” Tim smirked

“TT.” Damian leaved the room to pet Batcow.

Bonus! X2

In the end they did date.

The end?

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if-weshadows-haveoffended · 7 years

Text

Strela Amura- Chekov x Reader

A/N: So sorry about how late this is, I’ve just been really busy at Uni. Anyway, She’s Kirk’s sister but also not Kirk’s sister. It’ll make sense, trust me. ut my favourite thing about the OS has always been the time-travel episodes, like???? What a gift to Humanity. So here’s me playing with that space time continuum.

Also. It’s Eurovision time!!!! Sorry not sorry for nearly winning last year btw. Anyway, you know what that means? Time to listen to my Eurovision husband’s entire discography. Like it’s such a cute Chekov-y song, bless.

Also key word: Chekov tries to save her

Title: Strela Amura (Cupid’s Arrow) Inspiration: here (x) Tags: Fluff, kinda-kirk’s-sister-but-kinda-not, pre-romanov decline russia, TIME TRAVEL MOTHERFRICKERS, ridiculous bustle skirts are my aesthetic Words: 1500+ Masterpost: here (x) Prompt List: here (x) Mixtape Archive: here (x) Original Request: (x) - Could you do a thing where reader is Kirk’s younger sister (or other relative), that isn’t part of Starfleet, and gets taken by the big bad, and Chekov saves her? Then fluff?

Стрела Амура

Most senior students at the Starfleet Academy dreaded the ‘Little Sibling’ program; in which a senior, slowly struggling and watching their very soul leave their bodies were forced to pair up with some innocent, optimistic first year who had yet to see their life force choked from them due to obscene assignment due dates.

You were rather surprised to have found yourself partnered with a one James Tiberius Kirk, as he had introduced himself, a coffee in hand and dark circles under his eyes. You were a little intimidated, admittedly, but he was as supportive as you could have hoped for and Jim was genuinely wonderful. He would always remember your exam dates and check up on your actual dates and was always there to hold your hair back and cover for you if a party got too wild. Or there to ruffle your hair in pride as you passed that one maths class you always seemed to flunk exams for. He even kept in contact as he graduated, sending you updates as he traversed the expansive galaxy, promising that if you did well, you would score a place on the prestigious Enterprise crew.

He somehow convinced your parents that a certain trip-that-shall-not-be-named was actually a Scientific Field trip. You didn’t want to know exactly how he did it, but your mother was still singing the praises of ‘Darling James’ and considering adopting him.

But things went to hell part-way through your study. You left, much to your parents’ disappointment, hoping that you’d be better than the rest of your family, hoping you could be their chance to one-up your cousins that the grandparents always seemed to favour. But it was simply… you simply couldn’t deal with the reality of the Khan incident, it had hit far too close to home and you had lost far too many friends who had graduated. Space seemed far too cold, too brutal and too cruel to your tastes and while you still adored the endless possibilities, you weren’t sure what to do if you’d lost-

No matter. Perhaps what was most important that Jim had said it was the bravest thing you’d ever done, to know what was important and what was best for you. And he still updated you, sending over photographs on your PADD, every message ended with a little smiley.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY BABY SISTER’S ON THAT TEAM!?” Chekov was genuinely confused, no scratch that, the entire Bridge seemed confused at the Captain’s outburst.

There had been a temporal anomaly, the ship caught in it comprised of a small team of archaeologists and historians off to some far-flung planet in order to do some first-hand investigations for a company that Uhura had briefly mentioned before Kirk began to shit his pants.

“Captain, you do not biologically have a younger-“

“You know Spock, the Little Sibling program back at Starfleet?” The Captain clarified with a little embarrassment colouring his tone, “I was assigned to Y/L/N, she left after a couple of years, but we’re still in contact.”

“So I assume that means we’re going in?” Sulu hazarded, making worried eye-contact with Chekov. Chekov gulped a little, before turning back to face his station, his hands already finding the familiar grip on the controls, already awaiting the inevitable words,

“Fucking punch it.”

No one had warned you that 1880s St Petersburg was freezing in winter. Or perhaps, no one had warned you that it was perhaps to the best to piss off a Prince who (you assumed) thought you were flaming hot (from what your French could discern) only to find yourself in a dungeon in the bowels of the city, heavy with the scent of pungent sewers and stale sweat. On the upside, the gown was very pretty.

But that wasn’t much help at the moment. With your tired arms bound behind you with chafing rope, it was impossible to reach anything. You knew you still had a comm somewhere in the voluminous folds of midnight satin and a tri-corder smuggled in near your stockings. But with absolutely no waves, not even radio, there was no way the comms were going to work.

Oh and your legs were definitely out of the question, they’d bound those too after you tried escaping for a fourth time.

You could always flirt your way out of the situation? That was what Jim would do. Actually that was a lie, he would start a female insurrection on ideology against the Prince and manage to have half the women in the Aristocracy storming on the Duma and the Tsar demanding equality. Fascinating notion though. And definitely entertaining.

“Who the hell are you?” You suddenly found yourself being forced to move over as a young man was thrown into the freezing dungeon along with you. He certainly seemed from the far-flung past, with a perfectly knotted cravat and hair rakishly curly. He only seemed about your age, perhaps a year or two older, but about your age.

That was an idea. Flirt with the cute guy who just got chucked into your cell and hope he can get you out, because if you get invited to a Romanov Prince’s party, he’s definitely rich.

Only problem was the only Russian you knew was most likely just going to offend the poor guy.

“You speak English?” He tilted his head in confusion as he attempted to sit up, his hands bound behind him too. “You’re Keptin Kirk’s leetle sister?”

“You’re with Jim!?” You felt your heart fall out of your arse in complete and utter relief. He’d be able to find you, and the rest of the team. Hopefully.

“I’m Ensign Pavel Andreivich Chekov.” He introduced quickly, “Yes, well… there were some complications.” He admitted, a bashful grin gracing his face and his dimples casting charming shadows against the guttering candlelight of the cell. “I theenk we haff most of your team. Sulu and I were in the area after we got these…” He tried gesturing as best as he could to his stylish suit.

“How did you end up in here then?” Your flustered mind only now making the link between the cute boy (okay, he was cute, you were allowed to think that. He may be the last by you ever see. Maybe you’d have to spend the rest of eternity… together… in this piss-poor excuse for a cell) and his accent. “They’d be able to understand you…”

“Oh, well…” He made a bit of an ‘eek’ expression on his face, and you already dreaded what he was going to say next.

“Don’t tell me you challenged the Prince,” You said, flatly.

“Look, I may haff graduated Starfleet at sewenteen, but they don’t teach us fencing-“

“Isn’t there someone on your crew who does? Specialise in fencing, I mean?” You jolted at the memory of one of Jim’s early messages.

“We don’t talk about Sulu.” He muttered darkly, though his expression quickly passed into what could only be described as ‘overly-excited puppy’. “Put your heels on my shoulders,”

“Hm?”

“Zat way I can try to untie your ankles, zat leetle bit of rope is loose…” He continued on.

“Hm?” You repeated, your mind most definitely not turning to a certain golden retriever tying you to one of the grand beds three floors above…

“Here… shuffle over, no… no please put your heels on my shoulder.” You did as he instructed, nearly taking out his eye with your heeled boot. “Okay,”

“You sure this is a good idea?” You raised a brow as he placed the narrow strip of rope between his teeth, and began to tug a little. Slowly, but with relative ease, he managed to undo the loose knot and un-lopp the rope from your boots. “Wait, check up my skirt, my comm,” You added quickly.

“Yes, that might be a bit difficult,” He titled his curly head in the direction of his bound hands. Time was of the essence and the party raging upstairs sounded far too lethargic now, even through the dulling stone floors.

“It’s only above my knee. One of them, not sure,” You added with haste. “If you can activate the switch, you might be able to get a signal out before the Prince comes back in here to interrogate the pair of us,”

Biting hard on your lip, and hoping that the nearly-extinguished candle would hide your blushes, you watched as Chekov shuffled as best as he could, nestling between your ankles and your skirt that had ridden up a fair bit. Your heard drummed tight against your corseted bodice now, hearing distant footsteps. You guessed that Chekov decided it was all or nothing and attempted to reach the miniscule button of your comm with his nose.

For second there, you thought that it was all over, the door swinging open. There would be no hope of escape and that you would die with a (hot) stranger, centuries before you were ever born.

Your parents? What would they think? Would they care? Would they keep on reprimanding you? Saying that it would have been better if you’d stayed in Starfleet, for at least they’d have a body to bury.

What about what remained of your friends?

What about Jim?

“Chekov, what the hell do you think you’re doing to my sister!?” Chekov’s head immediately bobbed up from your upper thigh, immediately missing the warmth, his face surely as red as your own and his curls an endearing mess.

So that’s what Jim thought.

#chekov x reader #pavel chekov x reader #pavel chekov x reader imagine #star trek imagine #star trek x reader

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soberrnatural · 7 years

Text

Back of the Mind

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Summary: Sam and Reader graduate from Stanford in less than two months. All seems to be going great for the two of them. Until Y/N hears something coming from the living room whilst the two of them are home alone and together in the bedroom...

Warnings: fluff, mentions of miscarriage, briefest bit of smut, minimal angst

Words: 6,287

A/N: There is not enough words to explain how sorry I am for not posting the past month. I’m not going to use the excuse that I was disabled for the past month and a half (I’m on crutches, nothing serious!), because that should’ve given me more of an excuse to write more. But honestly, I’ve been procrastinating. I guess writer’s block is in the mix, too. But really, it was just me shying away from writing further.

Honestly though, I think it’s because this part of the year is when I lost my cousin and then my best friend’s birthday is coming up and normally I’d be planning a massive party for the shittard, but I won’t be able to do that this year or any other year. Kind of sucks but I don’t know, I just feel useless at this very moment. So, I’m sorry. There is really no real excuse for my lack of writing.

But on a good note; I’m going to start writing a book! Nothing to do with any television series or hot as fuck actors and actresses. I’ve actually decided to fulfil my dream to become an author and write a book. So, I’ll probably be posting less on here and focusing more on that. Another reason why I haven’t been posting as much as I used to. I’m so very sorry, But I promise I’ll try get what was requested posted and fulfil your needs.

Thank you for being patient with me. Also, I apologise for any grammar or punctuation mistakes. And I’m also sorry if none of this makes sense, I had written the first half of it like weeks ago and then I only just finished the second half today and it’s probably a fucking mess. But yolo.

I hope you enjoy the last part of the Back of the... Series! I’ve had people ask if they could have a spin-off to have an insight of Dean and Carmen’s little love story. Is that what people want? Because I can totally pull that off for you lovely readers.

ALSO, any Riverdale fans out there? I decided to check it out and I’m hooked. Am I the only one who ships Jughead and Betty? I SCREAMED WHEN THEY KISSED OMFG! Btw, Jughead is the loml. Does anyone else think Madalaine (Cheryl Blossom) kind of looks like Holland Roden (Lydia from Teen Wolf)?

MASTERLIST

“Where’s mummy?”

You heard the little voice ask Sam. You couldn’t help but smile and wait for his answer. You were hiding in the kitchen and standing in front of the freezer to soak in the cold air that cooled your hot skin. It was a rather hot day and the air conditioner wasn’t doing much justice. If it weren’t for the four year old boy in your living room, you’d be stark naked and laying underneath the aircon.

“She’s busying saving the world with her superhuman powers. But she’ll be here soon, okay?”

The giggle that left your mouth couldn’t be prevented. Sam had always come up with different ideas to steer the child away from being upset about the absence of his mother. You adored Sam and the way he was with children. No amount of compliments could convince him that he was brilliant with children and that he would be the best father in the world.

“I have the bestest mummy,” Jackson, the little boy, had sighed in contentment.

Closing the freezer door, you walked back out into the living room and smiled at the sight. Jackson and Sam were drawing at the coffee table and crayons had littered the floor around them, as well as countless papers with Jackson’s scribbles on them. You leaned against the doorframe and watched them fight over a blue crayon.

Sam looked up when he felt your eyes on him and a grin plastered his face immediately. He let Jackson have the blue crayon and got up before walking over to you. He bent down to peck your lips quickly before standing behind you and watching the little boy stick his tongue out and draw some more. Sam rested his head on your shoulder and wrapped his arms around you.

“He’s adorable,” he cooed into your ear, “I want one.”

Your cheeks heated at his comment as you turned your head to glance at him. He had the cutest grin adorning his perfect face and you couldn’t help but lean forward and kiss him again.

“Slow down, cowboy,” you giggled, “Let’s finish school first.”

“We graduate in less than two months,” he pointed out as he buried his face into the crook of your neck, “Might as well start trying.”

“I don’t want to look fat in my wedding dress,” you truthfully told him as you looked down at your engagement ring. There wasn’t a day that goes by where you hadn’t looked down at your hand and admired to simple ring on your finger. From the day he got down on one knee nearly a year ago, you were giddy and ready to claim his last name as your own.

But the two of you decided to take it slow and enjoy the excitement of being an engaged couple. The planning was hard work as it is and having a year to plan the wedding worked out great with the two of you and your busy schedules. That didn’t stop either of you second guessing the long wait. There had been a day when Sam wanted to put everything on a halt and get married straight away. You couldn’t blame him, there had always been days when you wanted to just take him to a church and wed him in an instance.

“You will still look absolutely beautiful to me,” Sam pecked under your ear before he reluctantly pulled away and walked back over to Jackson who had ran out of paper to draw on.

Your gaze followed his tall figure as he plonked down beside the blonde boy and helped him pack up the crayons. Little whines came from Jackson, saying he wanted to draw some more, but Sam had told him that we were going to order some pizza for dinner and watch a movie of his choice. That caught Jackson’s attention and he moved in lightning speed to clean up the mess he and Sam had made.

“Stop being so cheesy,” you complained in which made him turn to look at you, but secretly you loved it way too much. Although, he didn’t need to know that his words corrupted a zoo inside of your belly, “You know I’m lactose intolerant.”

“You’re not the only one” he said, referring to himself, with a grin plastered on his gorgeous face, “Maybe that’s why we’re so perfect together.”

“Because needing to use the bathroom at the same time after eating diary makes us perfect together,” you cocked your eyebrow as a chuckle emitted from his mouth with a mumbled “You know what I mean.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at him before turning away and walking back into the kitchen to order the three of you dinner. It hadn’t taken long to call up and order the pizzas and it hadn’t taken long for the pizza to be delivered either. The three of you sat in the living room with a box of pizza on your laps – well, Jackson had a plate with two slices of your pizza – whilst you watched Snow White on the small screen.

Sam thought your attention was on the princess on the screen but it was very much caught by him. He was watching Jackson smile at the screen as he sat on the edge of the couch and pointed at the TV whenever something funny had happened. At one point, Jackson had said that he wished animals liked him enough to clean his bedroom. You giggled at the little boy before turning your attention back to the movie rather than your fiancé who was grinning at the small child.

Watching him interact with Jackson made you upset as you thought back to night you were both reunited. The scare was enough to keep you both wide awake all night as you panicked at the thought of being pregnant during your first year of college. You’d taken the morning after pill and felt relieved knowing there was no chance you’d be pregnant now.

Fate likes playing tricks, though. Four weeks had passed and you were with Carmen when you puked up the meal you had. Obviously, you shrugged it off and thought it was probably food poisoning. But the sickness continued for a week and it hadn’t passed. Carmen had eventually forced you to go to the doctors and that’s when fate decided to mess with your life.

“We found the cause to your constant vomiting,” the doctor had told you, “Congratulations, you’re pregnant, Miss Y/L/N.”

When you had told Sam the news, he was a mix of happy and distraught. Neither of you were ready to raise a child, though that was completely understandable. You were both young and clueless but nonetheless, you both decided to deal with the consequence of not wearing a condom and agreed to keep the growing infant inside of you.

You had just reached sixteen weeks and you had a small bump adorning your stomach. Sam found it was the most beautiful thing he had ever witnessed. He couldn’t take his eyes off your stomach as he watched the bump grow bigger with each passing week. You were never sure about your decision on keeping the baby, but after your first ultrasound, you couldn’t help but already feel attached. You had two beating hearts in you and the idea of being a mother had warmed your heart.

When the doctor told you that you were expecting a baby girl, neither of you could hold back the proud cries as you grinned at one another before looking back at the screen that showed your princess. You were having a baby girl and the first thought that had popped into your head was; “I hope she ends up with Sam’s hair.” The giggle that left your mouth caused confusion to embed in Sam’s features as he glanced over at you.

Isn’t it strange? That a thump, a sound, in regular motion within the confines of your body would bring such happiness to your everyday life? Does it not give you a smile? Every experience is shared, all feelings connected, the warmth of a newborn, like the glow of sunlight: precious. But in due time, the sudden loss of the second beating heart, before your princess starts her dance, her first step, the smallest but greatest, would have faded into oblivion. You had drowned in despair at the loss of your loved one. A half-hearted living being, empty at the core. All purposes lost to the wound on your soul as time passes by you. At eighteen weeks, you were carrying a dead infant. Carmen had been there to constantly remind you not to worry, always telling you that your little one will enter the gates amongst a grand parade. The heavens will watch her dance. A standing ovation awaits and she would merrily dance again. Sam would say that God had missed his Angel too much that he wanted her back home. You appreciated their comforting words but it hadn’t made you feel better, you doubt anything would have. Your loss was Heaven's gain and you couldn’t help but feel that God was too greedy, wanting all of the precious souls that walked among this Earth. In your case, the precious soul inside you hadn’t gotten a chance to walk this Earth, and for that, he was greedy.

“Baby,” Sam’s voice snapped you out of your train of thoughts and it was only then you realized that the movie had finished. You furrowed your brows at the credits and wondered how you managed to zone out for the rest of the movie. Feeling Sam squeeze your hand gently, you turned to look at him and gaze into his concern eyes.

You were about to open your mouth to tell him that you were okay, truly, when a knock sounded on the front door. It was then that you noticed the now sleeping boy on Sam’s chest with his thumb in his mouth. A small smile made its way onto your face as you admired the scene in front of you. But another knock sounded on the door and reminded you that it was Jackson’s mother ready to pick her son up.

You stood and pried the sleeping boy from Sam’s arms gently before slowly walking over to the front door and unlocking it. Once you opened the door, you were greeted with a blonde haired woman with strikingly beautiful grey eyes. She quietly cooed at the sight of her child sleeping soundlessly in your arms before stepping forward and taking Jackson into her arms.

“Was he good? I’m sorry if he made a mess,” Emeli whispered as she rubbed Jackson’s back when he begun to stir in his sleep.

“No honey, he was great. Sam and he drew and then we ate some pizza whilst watching a Disney movie, so everything was good!” You assured her as you leaned against the doorframe and folded your arms across your chest.

“Oh, thank the Lord. I’ll transfer the money over to your bank once I get home, okay?” She smiled at you as she waited for your protest.

Emeli was always so persistent that she owed you money for babysitting her child. You had known her since you first started your job at the popular restaurant in town. Even before becoming pregnant, she was persistent with handing you money for simple things like helping her choose an outfit for her date or doing her makeup. But to you, looking after Jackson wasn’t a job so you saw no need for her to pay you. You enjoyed looking after the gracious four years old that you had adored so much. Plus, seeing Sam play with him warmed your heart.

“Keep your money; we don’t need it, sweet pea.” You reminded her, smirking a little when you noticed her stomp her foot lightly. She was such a child for a twenty-four year old and you loved it.

“It’s the least I can do for looking after the devil’s spawn,” Emeli raised an eyebrow as you chuckled at her comment. You shook your head and pleaded that she’d stop calling him the devil’s spawn when in actual fact; her son was a blessing from the greedy man up above.

“He’s God’s Angel, Sam and I adore him. Instead of money, though, you could say yes to coming to my bridal shower,” you wiggled your eyebrows at her and hoped it’d convince her to say yes this time.

No amount of convincing could change Emeli’s mind about coming to your bridal shower. She had been worried about leaving Jackson with somebody else considering she had always come to you when she needed babysitting. You had told her countless times that she could bring him along and let him enjoy the attention of the countless women that were going. But she’d always glare at you and say “I’m not allowing my son to be around drunken women.”

“Fine! It’s a deal, babe. I’ll catch you around!” She gave in and let out an exaggerated sigh before she leant forward and hugged you softly. She turned around and walked across the road to her house. You watched to make sure she made it safely before closing the door and locking it behind you. You didn’t get the chance to turn around before you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist and pull you flush against his torso. You let out a squeal of surprise as he lifted you off the ground and spun you around.

“We’re alone, at last!” Sam shouted before he placed you back on your feet again. Your hands gripped his arms as you turned your head to the side to look up at the handsome man you were lucky to call your fiancé.

“Selfish bugger,” you giggled as started to pull him towards the bedroom.

His arms tightened around your waist as he tried to pull even closer to his body before leaning down and kissing your lips gently. You brought a hand up to cup the back of his head as you kissed him back. A satisfied hum left his lips as your fingers tugged softly at his chestnut locks.

“I’m sorry, but I just really love you,” he murmured against your mouth and you felt him smile before pecking your lips again.

“It’s okay, I happen to really love you, too,” you spoke between kisses before he pulled away with a large grin on his face. It almost made you question his antics, but you knew better. He was in a playful mood and that usually meant he was going to attempt to outlast his stamina.

“You better,” he teased before tucking face into the crook of your neck and biting down softly on the skin as he hands begun to roam your sides. You wanted to move out of reach from his hands knowing that he was about to tickle you but you wanted to remain in his arms with his lips on your neck. Life was just so complicated when you were engaged to the younger Winchester.

“Sam!” You yelped as his fingers dug into your sides, making you squirm but his grip held you tight against him. His warm breath brushed against your neck as he chuckled, absentmindedly leading you towards the bedroom. Your laugh filled the silent house as he continued to tickle your sides before he managed to press you up against the back of the bedroom door.

And soon enough, your laughs were morphed into moans as he ravished you for hours. This time, you hadn’t needed to worry about wearing a condom as you were now on the pill. In the back of the mind, you knew that the pill wasn’t a hundred percent trustworthy, but you wanted the pill to fail you both so you could begin to make a family with the man on top of you.

His kind words reminded you that you’d look beautiful no matter what. He assured you constantly that he wouldn’t mind having you walk down the aisle with a massive belly only to meet him at the end. He told you that it’d be like vowing to the both of you that he’ll love you for the rest of his life and that he’ll never leave you. Of course, his theory would always rethink your decisions about pushing the family making further away. It didn’t sound so bad, after all.

So, here the two of you were, making love between the sheets with mouth-made marks and scratches from sharp fingernails. You could feel him fill every inch of you, making your walls clasp tightly around his long, thick shaft. It hadn’t matter what position you’d been in or the limited time you had or even the countless orgasms you already had, he had always managed to bring you to your climax within a record time. The words he spoke were enough to have you screaming his name at the top of your lungs and cling tightly to him as your body trembled with pleasure. Multiple rounds later and stolen breathless kisses, you’d both laid in bed bare for the world to see. Your chests were rising unevenly from your ragged breaths and your hearts were beating far too fast.

Neither of you seemed to care as you basked in the other’s satisfaction. You were lazily wrapped around Sam’s sweaty body as his hand absentmindedly drew patterns into your bare back. You felt far too weak to move and were glad that it was nightfall so there’d be no interruptions as you close your eyes and wait for slumber to reel you in.

But there had been an interruption that caused you to snap your eyes open and jolt your body up. Something had been knocked over in living room and you knew Sam had heard it too as he slowly sat up and peered over at you. Fear was written in his features as he listened to the intruder walk around the house.

“I think we’re being robbed,” you whispered to him, although something in the back of your mind kept telling you that it wasn’t someone robbing us, but much rather a something trying to get revenge.

“Yeah,” he frowned, “Stay here. I’ll go check it out.”

You wanted to protest and tell him to get back into bed. Whether it was because you didn’t want him to get harmed or you hadn’t wanted to be left alone in the bedroom for an unarticulated reason. You wanted to scream out to him when he opened the door and walked out unarmed. You wanted to run out and save him from any possible danger out there.

Sitting on the bed quietly, you listen for anything to give away the trouble that Sam was walking into. But you were greeted with silence and even after minutes had passed, there was nothing to assured you Sam was okay. Quickly, you got up and threw on a shirt and your underwear before you silently walked out of the room and kept your back pressed against the wall.

It was only when you got closer to the living room did you hear hushed voices talking to each other. You knew one of them belonged to your fiancé but the other remained a mystery. They didn’t seem to be arguing but it wasn’t a polite conversation either. You had heard Sam interrogating the mystery man, asking what he was doing in his house. The man only replied that he needed to see Sam, that it was an emergency.

“Sam?” It was then that you chose to call out your lover’s name and step out from the dark. Sam looked over the man’s shoulder and over to you with a soft smile on his face at the sight of you. The mystery man turned around, making you narrow your eyes at him, trying to find recognition in the familiar figure. And then it hit you.

“Dean!”

A smile warped your face as you ran over and pulled him into a tight embrace. You hadn’t seen him since you were sixteen and it saddened you that Sam hadn’t spoken of him since the two of you had gotten together. He seemed hesitant at first before wrapping his arms around your waist and placing a gentle kiss to the crown of your head.

“I can’t believe it’s you, Y/N,” Dean muttered as he pulled back and glanced over your body, clearly noting that you were only wearing Sam’s shirt and smirked at the thought of his brother getting some action.

“Yeah, I found her,” Sam mumbled more to himself than to his brother. But Dean had heard him as he pulled back and turned to look at his younger brother again with a frown imprinted in his facial features.

“How come you never told me?”

“We barely spoke and I didn’t want to distract you from work,” Sam muttered and you were about to question him but a pounding on the front door distracted you from doing so. Dean stood silent as he watched the door; Sam was peeping through the living room window and noticed the same car that gets parked there basically every day. He begun to converse with Dean again, already knowing who was pounding at the door.

“Y/N! Open this fucking door!” You heard from behind the door and it made you want to whine at everyone for interrupting your alone time with your fiancé. Maybe you could ignore her and pretend you weren’t here and then maybe she’d storm away, but that idea ceased to exist when she yelled again, “I can hear Sam talking to you and the lights are on!”

“What is this? A reunion party?” You muttered to yourself as you trudged over to the entrance and opened the door for your annoying best friend. The brunette woman pushed right past you with her hand in her hair and a frantic look on her face. Immediately, you knew something was wrong if she was stressing out easily. Normally, she was chilled back and relaxed.

She paced back and forth, her fingers clasping her dark brown locks as she tugged at them frustratingly. She was stammering and it was obvious that she hadn’t known where to begin. Her face paled and she stood still as she must’ve just thought of the worst outcome of what was troubling her.

“Carmen, what’s wrong?” You closed the door again and walked over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She tensed under your touch before relaxing. But then she remembered why she was here and her body tensed up again.

“There’s an emergency,” she puffed out as her hands fell to her sides after I pried them away from tugging her own hair further more. My brows furrowed as I took in her statement and she was about to open her mouth before she got interrupted–

“Carmen?”

Carmen’s head turned in the direction from where the voice came from and almost instantly her body relaxed again. She let out breath, one that she seemed to have been holding in, before she walked over to the man wearing the same worn out jacket he wore when she first met him.

“No fucking way,” she said, “Dean?”

Her hands reached out to touch his face as if she hadn’t believed that he was actually in front of her in that current moment. Dean’s head slightly leaned into her touch and it hadn’t gone unnoticed by either you or Sam. The two of you remained silent as watch the scene unfold in front of you. By then, you had absentmindedly walked over to stand beside your fiancé as you watched your best friend’s eyes well with tears.

“Fuck me,” Dean whispered and coughed to cover the crack in his tone, “You haven’t changed a single bit.”

“You’re still a hot mess,” her hand fell to her side as she smirked up at him and stood up straighter.

The pain that ghosted behind her eyes was immediately replaced with joy. You had known how sad she had become since she found out that you came across Sam. Carmen had admitted that she had envied you but told you that she was glad that you were happy. Right now, she was standing right in front of her happiness and you couldn’t have been any gladder with her choice of timing.

“Ehem,” Sam coughed, “Why are you two here?”

You elbowed his side and narrowed your eyes in his direction, silently cursing him for destroying their bittersweet reunion. He winced and rubbed his side as he glared at you, his eyes telling you that he wanted them gone. You begged with pleading eyes to keep watching them rekindle their love, but he simply shook his head before turning back to the two in front of us. With a huff of annoyance, you turned your gaze back to Carmen and Dean and noticed that they had witnessed the two of you telepathically yelling at each other.

“Well I’m here to tell Y/N important news,” Carmen finally spoke up after an awkward minute of silence passed you all by.

“And I’m here to tell you important news,” Dean told Sam, gaining a questioning glance from his long lost love beside him.

“Okay, so tell us,” Sam prodded, only receiving an eye roll from you at his impatience.

Carmen’s eyes flickered from Sam to Dean before landing on you. Dean’s gaze happened to flicker from you to Carmen before landing on his younger brother and it was obvious that what the two of them didn’t want to share what they wanted to say openly. Panic lit up behind Carmen’s eyes as she stared at you. Sam’s foot irritatingly tapped on the floor and you knew it was a sign of annoyance.

“Dad’s on a hunting trip and he hasn’t been home in a few days,” Carmen and Dean spoke once they noticed Sam’s impatient glare. All four pair of eyes widened in that moment.

“You guys are hunters?” Dean choked out as he stared at the two of you ladies in disbelief.

Sam remained silent and watched the commotion. You couldn’t meet his gaze because you knew that behind those hazel would lay multiple emotions; betrayal, disbelief and hurt. You hadn’t shared with him a large amount of your life but neither had he. You knew why he hadn’t told you, they were the same reasons as your own. You didn’t want to drag him into a dangerous life. But now you know; he was always in the same dangerous life you were in.

“This explains what he meant,” you mumbled to yourself as you begun to distant yourself from your fiancé. You balled your fists tightly as the thought of their father harming your own flooded your mind. You remembered your father talking about another hunter who left him to nearly die on a hunt but Belle, Carmen’s mother, had came across him just in time.

“What who meant?” Dean spoke up as he studied your actions.

“Your fucking dad,” you wanted it to come out as a growl, but it came out as a mere whimper. You couldn’t bear the thought of losing your father, too. If that son of a bitch got a hold of your father, you’d make his death a slow and painful one. Even if that meant losing the two brothers in the process.

“Excuse me?” Dean growled and stepped forward but Carmen grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

“That night when you first took me to Bobby’s,” you turned to Sam who had remained silent the entire time, “When your dad took me outside to talk. He mentioned that he knew my father and that if I didn’t stay away from you then there would be consequences. I didn’t think much of it.”

“He said that to you and you never told me this?” Sam frowned and stepped closer to you. You didn’t bother moving away from him, you wanted him to hold you. After all, you weren’t mad him, but much rather his father.

“First of all, how was I meant to tell you without you questioning why he said that? Secondly, I didn’t want you worrying. I simply just wanted to be with you and live a normal life,” you whispered to him as he pulled you against him, wrapping his arms tightly around you.

And it was sincere – all that you said. There had not been a day that had gone by without you questioning if you should tell your teenaged lover the truth about your life. Though, the guilt that you felt when he left without knowing your true identity soon subsided and you believed that leaving him in the dark was for the best. Having someone know about a huntress’s lifestyle was perilous. Being exposed in this lifestyle made you a target – it made everyone you knew a weakness to your system, it made them a target.

From the moment Sam walked into your life, you knew from that moment that you were going to shelter him from your dark storyline. You weren’t going to expose him to the monsters that lurked beyond the shadows. You weren’t going to risk losing him to a creature that was better off dead. So, you kept it hidden. You vowed you’d never tell him the truth.

But here you were now with the truth spilled on the floor in an impure mess of disbelief, hurt and tragedy. Everything that you kept locked away for many years was leaking out of your pores and there was no point in closing them back in. The love of your life had just revealed that he lived in the same lifestyle and you were going to be honest with him one hundred percent from now on.

“What about you Carmen?” Dean asked, breaking you from your train of thought.

“My mother hunted alongside her father and we met when my mother dropped me off at her place,” the brunette woman answered the emerald eyed man with a stern voice and straightened her posture; the action warning you that she was trying to close up the hurt she felt.

“You told me you met her through tutoring her,” Dean frowned at the thought of the woman he loved lying to him.

But you knew from the look on his face that he couldn’t blame her for doing so; he, too, lied to the love of his life. That seemed to be the main problem in the hunting life; heck, in your opinion, the biggest problem you’ll come across is unfolding the untold truths from those involved in your life. Hopefully though, from now on, neither of you will see the need to lie to the other. It’d make life simpler.

“That wasn’t technically a lie,” she replied with pursed lips, “That same night she was studying and she was struggling in a subject and so I helped her.”

“Hold up, why did you say dad? You two aren’t sisters?” Sam pulled back, but still left one arm wrapped around you as he held you to his side. You looked up at him and took him his puzzled gaze, you couldn’t help but giggle. He looked adorable when he was confused.

“No, but her father acted like more of a father than my biological father ever did,” Carmen answered him, making you look over at her and smile softly. Her body was still rigid and you knew her too well to know that she was about to shut down if we kept talking about things that made her feel like breaking down.

You noticed Dean looking at her with pain written in his features and you wanted nothing more than to scream at him to pull her into his embrace. But he remained glued to his place, being sure to keep a safe distance between the two of them. His gaze met yours for a second and you silently screamed for him to change the topic before the inevitable break down that your best friend will have.

“Wait, so why did you live with your grandparents?” He asked, diverting the conversation away from Carmen, not before glancing in her direction again.

“Because my father was always away hunting,” you answered him and leaned into Sam’s side. His hand tightened on your hip and you were grateful for the action, for you knew what direction this conversation was about to head in.

“What about your mother? Didn’t you live with her?”

The question was a simple one but the answer was most difficult to reply with. You could lie like you did with many others and say that your mother left you when you were younger and spare yourself the heartache. But all the truths you had kept bottled up for your whole life had already piled up on the floor beneath you; there wasn’t any point in lying anymore.

“She died when I was five months old,” you choked out, your sight becoming blurred from the unshed tears in your eyes, “Carmen’s mother died the same way a year after you two left.”

“How did they die, if you don’t mind me asking?” Dean asked you both and you looked over to Carmen to see that she was already looking at you. She raised her eyebrow to ask for permission to give out the truth behind our mother’s absent presence.

“Burned on the ceiling,” Carmen seethed, “By that stupid fucking Azazel prick.”

Sam’s arm loosened around you as he stood up straighter and looked over at Dean. The two had locked gazes and it hadn’t gone unnoticed by either you or Carmen. She eyed them curiously as you looked up at your fiancé. His gaze dropped from his older brother’s to yours and you knew that whatever the two were telepathically conversing about was indeed about the yellow eyed demon.

“This guy didn’t happen to have yellow eyes, did he?” Sam asked the two of you ladies, but his eyes remained on your face. In any other situation, your cheeks would’ve heated up by now due to the intense look on his face. But instead, you frowned and studied his features to try figure out how he had known that.

“How did you know?” Carmen asked the question you were thinking of.

God bless her for being so nosy, you thought.

“He killed our mother when Sammy was six months old.”

The silence that remained after Dean’s statement was suffocating. Carmen had sucked in a breath at her train of thought and was staring at the emerald eyed man with questioning eyes. He noticed this and clearly understood her silent query as he nodded softly in her direction. Within a second, she wrapped her arms around him tightly as she whispered incoherent things into his ear. You

You looked away from them and up at your fiancé again who was studying the scene in front of him. He must’ve felt you staring at him as he turned to look at you. You, too, had wrapped your arms around the love of your life and squeeze every ounce of love you could give into the embrace. His pressed a kiss to your forehead and mumbled that he was sorry about your mother just as you did the same.

Neither of you needed to apologize, though. What was there to apologize for? Things happen for a reason and you’d never question Fate’s choices, but the reason behind your mother’s death would always remain a mystery. You’d just hope you won’t die trying to figure it out.

“So, dad’s missing,” Carmen interjected after a couple of minute’s silence. She wiped her cheeks and pulled away from Dean who gave her a weak smile. Though, you hadn’t pulled away from Sam’s embrace, you decided to stay in the warmth of his arms.

“So is our father,” Sam rested his head on top of your own as he relaxed under your fingertips drawing patterns on his back. Your ear was pressed to his chest and you could hear the beat of his heart fasten. You couldn’t suppress the giggle that left your mouth, which in return gained a confused glance from Dean and an eyebrow waggle from Carmen. Sam’s chest vibrated from the soft chuckle that emitted from his mouth, knowing why you were giggling.

“So, what do we do?” You coughed to ease the awkwardness.

You wanted nothing more than to pull away from Sam and punch Dean in the arm when you caught him rolling his eyes at you. Well, in your defense, there are many other options to choose from in this situation so the question was well needed. But Dean had clearly thought that you must’ve been stupid from the lame question you had asked.

“We go look for them both and haul their asses out of the crap they’re in.”

The moment Dean opened his mouth; you knew immediately what he was going to say. If it weren’t for the fact that your father was missing, you would’ve declined and stay behind to finish school. But this wasn’t just your father missing; it was also your fiancé’s father who had dropped off the face of the earth. You weren’t just going to sit back and let them do the work, you were going to drop the opportunity to live a normal life and go and find your father. Plus, it’s a bonus that you were going to be crisscrossing the country with three of your favourite people.

Looks like we’re going on a road trip, you inwardly yelled in glee.

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xseildnasterces · 4 years

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i'm a loser baby (so why don't you kill me).

Well, it’s been a while. Quite a lot has happened since I last wrote here. I guess I got bored of writing every day when nothing much was changing and the expectation I put on myself to write made me not want to, so I gave up on the daily diary entry and instead I will go back to writing when I feel like it.

Birthday:

Yep, that’s right, like many other people this year I celebrated my birthday in quarantine. Unlike many other people though, I did so alone, thousands of miles away from the people I love. However, my birthday made me feel very lucky to have such an amazing bunch of people in my life - it really, really did! I didn’t even cry on my actual birthday which is amazing considering that’s all I’ve seemed to do over the last few years. (We will ignore the bit when I did cry the night before when I received a message that said ‘happy birthday btw’. Yeah, that hit me pretty hard and I lay on my yoga mat surrounded my candles and cried away the internal pain I felt on reading that email.

Thankfully, my family and friends went out of their way to make me feel loved and special. I got all my lovely cards from my family, even K which was a surprise, O sent me a huge delivery of cupcakes from my favourite DC cafe, C sent me a bunch of UK chocolate and R sent me a super cute little care package which I loved. I felt so incredibly lucky to have people in my life that made such an effort on my birthday when they were all so far away. We all chatted all day, video called and just had a really nice time. H sent me flowers and chocolate and L even drove around and dropped off a cake they had baked for me with a candle in it! It was so cute and made me so happy. Everyone at work sent me happy birthday emails and messages, and I just felt lucky, and considering I was physically alone, I still had a wonderful day and it was so much better than I had expected. I was glad to not have FB active because it took away another way for me to feel sad when certain people didn’t wish me happy birthday. It made me realise even more who was a valid and important part of my life, and who indeed wasn’t.

Work

I am hating work right now. I have lost count of the times I have sat crying my eyes out after receiving an email, after a meeting or a phone call and wished I could find another job. I’m not the only one who has noticed that I am criticised openly more than anyone else in our team, and I feel that no matter what I do I cannot do anything right. I could go on and on. I have my APR on Monday and I have never dreaded anything more in my life. I am absolutely petrified. Cue no sleep this weekend and major anxiety all day until my meeting.

Friends

R and I are trying to video call once a week which is great. We spend so long on the phone together and just laugh our heads off for hours. It makes my day every time I see her face and we chat. Neither of us care what we look like and can be so unbelievably open about everything and anything. She is, and will forever be, my day one. J and I video call at least once a week too, he always cheers me up beyond belief and he’s great to talk to about work issues but also just general chitchat. Another person I am very lucky to have in my life. L and I talk most days on and off and it’s nice to have someone here in a similar position to me. H and I talk a lot either work related or non work related and F always comes in to say ‘hi’. She told H that she loved me the other day and if that isn’t adorable. I also have frequent email and WhatsApp chats with various people I have worked with over the years and it’s so interesting to hear how everyone is dealing with this in lot’s of different countries. (Much better than the US and UK... which comes as no surprise).

Parents

Thankfully my parents are doing okay. Luckily the UK has had some wonderful weather so they have spent a lot of time in the garden together and gone out very early for long walks together. What cuties. My dad is still working but wearing a mask and gloves every day and they have brought in some measures to ensure people are protected in at least some way. They also get their temps taken before entering the factory. My mum is still off work and my grandma is still shielding inside - which reminds me I need to write all my birthday ‘Thank You’ notes and send an especially long one to my grandma.

Sister

K is still in Bangladesh. She hates it. I hate her husband and wish she would divorce him and come home. He goes out every night to play sport or eat with his friends and when she asks to go he tells her that she is fine at home. Personally, I wouldn’t be putting up with this, and she shouldn’t be either but ‘love is love’ and she’s in love. Unfortunately. She has incredibly low self-esteem and I’m pretty sure she thinks that she would never find anyone else. She’s so young and wasting so much of her life and I just hope she doesn’t live to regret all of this as much as we all think she will.

Yoga

I have lost count of how long we have now been in quarantine but apart from one or two days at the beginning, I have done yoga every single day. I could not be prouder of myself, and what’s more I am already feeling better for it and enjoying it. I’m currently in the middle of a 30 day plan that I am following. Some days are awfully painful and I’m working muscles I don’t think have ever been worked before, and other days I am perfectly fine and can do everything that is requested. I’m excited to see my yoga practice grow, to improve my flexibility and becoming more connected with my personal well-being. (Yoga is exactly what I am going to do once I’ve posted this). I’m also doing plank before bed. So far I am only holding for a minute but I’m proud of myself for doing this each day. Plank is also part of most of my yoga flows, but I also want to build on this.

Health

IBD is a major bitch. I had an online appointment with my IBD Dr here in the US the other day and I am being scheduled for a colonoscopy over summer. I also have to have bloods taken next month and provide samples. They are trying to distinguish whether it is Crohn’s or UC because at the moment it is still diagnosed as IBD-U which means undetermined. They are currently leaning towards Crohns and that there is a good chance that my whole digestive tract is affected, so that’s pretty rubbish. In other news, from doing so much yoga I have developed a small cyst between the joint on my wrist. It’s so annoying because it is completely in the way during certain poses and causes pain. For now I have to just see how it goes. Some peoples disappear over time, but not if you are constantly using it - which I am everyday. If it gets bigger or causes me more pain then I may need to go in for hand surgery with a specialist.

Therapy

Therapy is going well. Last week though I just wasn’t in the mood. I had so much going on at work that I just didn’t want to address anything else. We spoke about work but I didn’t feel like I got anywhere or made any progress. I also realised afterwards that I avoided talking about anything else which is frustrating because I have been doing so well. I’m still finding it hard online and look forward to being able to connect again in person. A couple of weeks ago though I did have a really good session, even if I did find myself crying during it. We discussed identity and sexuality and my therapist said how much more alive and happy my body language was when I was discussing being part of the LGBTQ+ community and feeling a part of something, meeting people and taking part in events like Pride. I expressed that I was finally reaching a place where I was proud of how far I had come, and trying to be proud of who I am despite the hurdles I have overcome and still have to face. I explained how this happiness and feelings of love just became tainted with other aspects of my life and how I felt that I couldn’t celebrate that part of myself (which is my whole self) because of other things, and again these are things that I need to work on. I love that when I talk about certain people she instantly can see and understand by my body language and emotions how much they mean to be and how special they are to me, and I think it’s important to have a relationship like this with your therapist.

COVID-19

I had to add this topic, but honestly, what a mess. I can’t even express how much of a car crash the UK and US Press Briefings are each day. Trump now says the virus will just ‘go away’ without a vaccine, and the UK are talking about opening the country and putting measures in place that should have been in place two months ago when every other European country put them in place. The whole thing is a joke. People celebrating VE day yesterday make me so angry. In my whole 28 years of life, I have never heard of anyone having VE parties before, yet now, in lock down, people are doing the bloody conga down the street. What? Is this even real? Put simply, people have used it as an excuse the flaunt the rules. After the US idiots protesting over the lock down, people in the UK have now started to do the same in London. Absolute morons. I have nothing else to say on the matter.

Skin

My skin is an absolute disaster. I have no idea why, but clearly being inside does not work wonders for my skin. I am breaking out every single day with new spots and my face looks like the moon full of craters. My jaw and chin is covered in massive potholes and my head has a bump on it like I’ve just been hit with a hammer. I have zero idea what is going on but nothing seems to be helping. Is clear skin too much to ask!?

05.05.05

This week marked 15 years since J died. 15 whole years. No matter how much time has passed, thinking about that day takes me right back. I remember where I was, in which classroom, who I was sat next to, the empty seat in front of my desk where J should have been sitting, the cries from her cousin when she was told the news, and then the complete and utter shock as us, a class of 13 year old were told that they were never going to see their classmate again because they had passed away. I remember standing outside and a teacher asking if I was okay whilst I cried in the arms of a friend. I will never forget that day. I cannot believe it has been fifteen years. Fifteen years since I saw her little face and joked about wearing pigtails. It’s unbelievable really. Time is passing fast. Much faster than I think any of us realise, so we really must not take life for granted, or the people we hold so dearly in it. If right now wasn’t proving it to you, I don’t know what will... life is short, so incredibly short.

[Blog title: I'm a Loser Baby (So Why Don't You Kill Me) - Beck].

#me #personal #diary #life #life update #update #thoughts #feelings #emotions #emotion #thought #feeling #journal #I'm a Loser Baby (So Why Don't You Kill Me)#beck

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