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I think a cocaine addiction is more ethical than owning four homes in the new york metro area.

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bro what the fuck lmfao. funniest possible thing to say for absolutely no reason

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when people defend the “Cis white guy is default” thing like “He’s meant to be an everyman we can all relate to and project on!” kindly remind them the largest ethnic group in the WORLD is Han Chinese and the highest gender percentage fluctuates so if you want an ACTUAL  “default” you want a 40 year old chinese person whose gender changes from year to year.  

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I hear the words "bichon frise" and my brain spends an uncountably long moment frantically overturning every memory I have, desperately trying to remember what foreign luxury car brand I have to pretend to care about in order for this conversation to go favorably. After my every mote of knowledge about cars has been thoroughly ransacked and I am on the verge of failing this social interaction, a smudged sticky note flutters into view that simply says "small white dog."

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you ever see a poll and just Know that a character lost purely because their source material is less well known than the winning character's

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deletes you forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [you still exist as metadata]

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Kindly reminding my fellow bisexuals the existence of this Japanese slang where we use the word for a two-sword fencer for bisexuality

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the only reason why ten year old girls are destroying stupidly overpriced products at sephora to make “skincare smoothies” is because they aren’t being given access to a yard with a variety of mud, sticks, rocks, puddles, and old ceramic planters to make potions in. the children yearn for the apothecary

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my flabber is gasted and my gob has been smacked

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today a woman became very angry with me because "i've never shopped anywhere that had no labels or pricing anywhere!!!!" ... she was in our production house. the only label in there is the big EMPLOYEE'S ONLY sign. so.

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Really thinking about those build your own banjo kits.

I dunno how to play banjo, but I'm willing to learn.

Can't for the life of me read sheet music but I'm betting you don't actually need to know sheet music just to learn how to jam.

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<Reblog to get a sword.> o()xxx[{::::::::::::::::::::::::::::>

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This? This shit right here? Why Mob Psycho 100 is my favorite anime right now.

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weird animal flipbooks i made

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Look, we joke a lot, but really, "you were born evil, wretched, worse than the scum of the earth, and it took killing a god to make you salvageable, so now you'd better be grateful to that god and thank him 10,000 times a day for it and fill your thoughts with him 24/7 and abide by the letter of his every word, lest you suffer unimaginable torture for all of eternity" is a truly horrendous thing to believe about yourself and other people

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Oh, no, why do they come to uneven points? Terrible. You can't even see them. That 3rd step will trip you up- it's a killer step.