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pleasejustignore · 7 months

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My bestie has NPD and I'm a Bipolar mess. So we show solidarity thru memes.

Also this one was made by frien

#Bipolar #bipolartype1 #bipolardisorder #npd #npdpositivity #narcissistic personality disorder #hes my emotional support narcissist uwu #my last braincell dies every manic episode #i feel for anyone who has to witness

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bipolartypeonefeels · 3 years

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What living with Bipolar Disorder is like:

I’m currently on the 16th floor of a balcony located at a hotel in downtown Miami.

My hope is gone. Every action is mechanical, choices I make are reckless, but made without hesitation. I’m just going through the motions, trying to stay afloat and survive. I’m numb to the pain, but I’m also numb to the pleasure.

Part of me has given up. For the first time in my life I feel like my future isn’t so clear anymore. I don’t want to chase after my goals, I don’t want to do anything but lose myself. I’m not coping, and I have no one.

Everything I once cared about, even my morals seem to have been thrown out the window. The world doesn’t care about me, so I’m reciprocating.

I can’t concentrate and at this point I don’t even want to try because I feel like a failure. I was a straight A student who was able to balance so many responsibilities, and I did it well. Now I can barely manage day to day.

I don’t know what I’m doing but in brief moments of clarity, I’m horrified.

Countless men all in the hope of connection, or if anything at least a distraction. I feel used but I keep clinging on to the idea someone might save me.

The same disorder that ruined my dad’s life, and that ultimately killed him, is what I’m trying to manage by myself. I don’t blame him anymore, because I know what it’s like to feel as if you’re going insane.

I feel very alone. I feel like I’m having to deal with this by myself. This disorder kills people, and it does so painfully. It’s a slow spiral descending into madness and isolation.

I wish I had someone who understood what I was going through, the loneliness is crippling.

I don’t trust myself. I don’t know if my thoughts, decisions, or ideas are the manic depression or if they’re me.

I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. Everything I once cared deeply about and had a passion for are things I no longer think about.

There’s always something wrong, I can’t hold onto happiness but for a moment.

The hardest part of all of this is that there’s no one to blame. It’s my brain that’s turned against me. I’m at war with my own mind.

I don’t care about anything. I don’t care about school, I don’t care about family or friends, I don’t care who I hurt, and I certainly don’t care about myself.

It’s difficult for me to look into the future, because all the plans I had for myself seem so distant. I just started crying as I’m typing this. I miss who I used to be. This disorder took my life away from me and I feel like I’ve been left alone to deal with the outcome.

I do still have some hope left, but I know I need to get on Lithium soon. I think that might be the key to finding some type of normal again. I want to be more than someone who’s just trying to survive.

#bipolar #bipolardisorder #bipolartype1 #mania #hypomania #depression #manic #hypomanic #bipolartype2 #mentalhealth #personalstory #mentalillness #bipolar1 #bipolar2 #bipolartypeone #bipolartypetwo

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fcked-up-sometimes · 4 years

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What is something you wish people knew about bipolar?

I wish people knew that:

1. Bipolar doesn’t mean regular mood swings... it’s not like being sad one moment then happy the next. It can be crippling.

2. You can have long periods of stability, that doesn’t mean you don’t have bipolar anymore.

3. Mania isn’t fun. Not full blown anyway. It might feel great at the time but there are consequences like harm to yourself. It’s dangerous and could land you in prison or hospital.

#actuallybipolar #actuallymentallyill #mentalhhealth #mentalillness #bipolaraffectivedisorder #mania #manic #manicdepression #depression #bipolartype1 #bipolar1 #bipolardisorder #bipolar #mixedepisodes #stigma #psychosis

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mymentaltalk · 5 years

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Being “bad”

Personality disorders and mood disorders like borderline personality and bipolar disorders are not really talked about on mainstream media or in society at all and definitely not as much as mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety. There’s no wonder why there’s so much stigma, ignorance and misconceptions about other complex mental health problems like borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder.

We are all so used to seeing words like depressed, suicidal, panic attack, self harm, etc and putting them with mental illness, but that isn’t always the case. With these types of disorders, being “bad”, relapsing or having a tough time doesn’t always mean that people with mood/personality disorders are deeply depressed and suicidal, it can mean that we’re manic, hyperactive or overwhelmingly happy. We could be absolutely furious, riddled with anxiety, of course, we can also be deeply depressed and suicidal too. Sometimes (a lot in my case) quickly changing from one mood to the other, bouncing from suicidal to on top of the world from a “small” trigger. All of these emotions are intensified by a thousand, making our “happiest” and ’saddest” both unbearable.

Why is being manic a bad thing anyway? We’re happy, really happy, so what’s the problem? People never seem to understand why it’s a bad thing that I’m manic, most people don’t even see it has part of my mental illness, they just see me being better. On the outside, I must look fine, more than fine, but for me, being manic is when I’m probably most at risk of taking part in dangerous behaviour, ie: spending loads of money, alcohol/drug use, not taking my meds because I feel good now and so on. It’s just as serious as when I’m in a severely depressed episode, but no one sees that.

I’ve been accused of “faking” my mental health problems, that it “isn’t mental health" as one minute I’m “happy and loving’ and the next, I’m anything but. Clearly I just act up when it’s convenient because I was fine a minute ago. Maybe I’m just dramatic or attention seeking because you’re either depressed or you’re not, right? How can I be off sick from work for my mental health but I’m seen to be really happy, hyperactive and quite clearly finding it easy to step outside. If I’m off work for my mental health, surely I’d be depressed in bed, in a dark room, on suicide watch or something? Sometimes, yes I am because I woke up suicidal, but by the evening, I could feel like the happiest person alive.

I understand why people would look at my behaviour and accuse me of lying, faking, being attention seeking, dramatic, using the “mental health card” and so on, I really do, but if you know yourself that you’re not educated on complex mental health problems and haven’t been exposed to them before, then please try not to make statements and judgements like that on people with complex mental health problems. We’re not depressed. We are depressed. We’re happy and we’re not, we’re sometimes angry and we’re sometimes nervous, we’re everything you are but to the fullest extent all the time and go from one to the other very quickly. You don’t understand it and that’s not your fault, but making such comments to and about someone with complex mental health problems and what that does to a person, is your fault.

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allofcam · 5 years

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um okay, hi.

okay i RARELY make my own posts anymore so idek what to say. but if there’s anyone educated or experiencing anything listed in these tags, can you please message me or like this & i’ll message you. i have questions with nobody to ask b/c i’m not allowed to talk to my doctor about this type of shit. (also be prepared for a slight rant bc i’m a fucking talker)

#bipolar disorder #bipolar #adhd #depression #add #bipolartype1 #mental health #mental illnesses #bipolartype2 #bipolar1 #bipolar2 #bipolar depression #manic depression #bipolardisorder #anxiety #cyclomania

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missyzuzia-blog · 5 years

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Hi, I'm Zuzia - I speak English, Polish and a little Spanish.

I've started a new blog to speak out about the way my experiences with a mental health condition have shaped my life.

I'd like to take you on a journey back in time, to 2012 to be exact, when the London Olympics were in full-swing... and I was sat in a locked ward, playing with jig-saw puzzles, watching the gold medalists on TV and just beginning to wonder what exactly had happened to me this time.

Not long afterwards I was handed a diagnosis of bipolar affective disorder.

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happyafricaorg · 3 years

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Repost •@borderlineandbipolarjourney Awareness for Borderline personality disorder. @what.is.mental.illness Drop 💜💜💜 to raise awareness about Borderline Personality Disorder! You’ve probably saw and heard a lot of stereotypes and misconceptions about BPD from people you know or from the media. People with BPD face the struggles of the condition on a daily basis, and on top of that often experience stigma, discrimination, isolation and insults. Most of what’s written about BPD doesn’t sound overly positive with many being portrayed as manipulative, hopeless and dangerous, which is NOT TRUE AT ALL. BPD is still highly stigmatized so here’s a chart to help you know what BPD actually is! It’s important to note that not all people with BPD are the same. Just because you had a bad experience with someone with BPD doesn’t mean you’II have a bad experience with other people with BPD. 🤍 Source: Borderline in the act • • • #bipolardisorderawareness #bipolarawareness #bipolardisordertype1 #bipolardisordertype2 #bipolardepression #hypomania #mania #psychosisawareness #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorderawareness #mybpdlife #mybipolarlife #bipolartype1 #mentalillnessawareness #eupd #bipolartype2 #borderlineandbipolarjourney #trauma #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #eupd #depression #mentalillness #mentalhealthmatters #eatingdisorderawareness #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #livingwithmentalillness #understanding #bipolarsupport #borderlinepersonalitydisorderrecovery #cptsd (at South Africa) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSlooY3syVU/?utm_medium=tumblr

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theglassboxx · 3 years

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This is one of those candid real life oh my God did she really admit that?

In 2019 I ended up addicted to Ritalin - yep - I mean I could pop a pill and not feel a thing yet felt like I needed it to survive- I had no idea it was because I was hypo manic - I thought that for the first time I was smart and able to accomplish things and be happy a lot- I did Feel like myself before I “broke”

In all reality with my education I should have seen it but really you don’t when it’s you

In 2020 I ended up having to come off of multiple meds- I suddenly became allergic to lamictal which I had been on for years- and suddenly Ritalin wasn’t given me the ups

So In 2020 I ended up withdrawing from the meds at home

My doctors didn’t give a damn, I was a number and I can recall the amount of “samples” I’d be given- which we know is cause there some sort of agreement with pharmaceutical companies and docs.

It was fucking hell, full on, mind blowing hell-

I begged for death- I cried , I tried to turn myself in, I tried to get help, I prayed, went to priest , tried church , I mean everything - but withdrawing off of Ritalin and ativan at once- ha- you think you know hell till you are the demon making it hell-

I don’t know how but my husband kept me alive, truthfully I don’t know how- I planned my suicide- I was going to hang myself from my kitchen fan with my favorite robe on -hanging by my robe string-

But thing is I didn’t want to die

I wanted THAT part of me to die

The part I feel I have no control over

I felt like I wasn’t in charge of my

Own mind

And physically - did you know how physically debilitating anxiety /depression and bipolar can be ? I would hurt all over- I’d throw up id feel sick with anxiety

And night time - oh night time was the best- it’s when all my bipolar demons come out and every bad decision every short coming every thing comes to surface at night- and during that time I had no Ambien- I went 4 days sleeping 2 hours- I was gone- my husband would have to rush home randomly to be with me-

The sweats

The shakes

The pain

Your mind

All of it-

It’s fucking hell-

Keith Kane - we haven’t had the easiest beginning - but going through what we did last year to get me through my WORST episode of mania in my life-

It made us different , not just stronger , but patient , and understanding

You were one of the few who didn’t judge me when I tried to shave off my hair, or all the other manic things I’ve done- you have grown to such a wonderful man-

Bipolar is a beast, I eventually was diagnosed , or re- diagnosed - but the this time with bipolar type one not two

And yes I called the Veterans Health Administration (VHA) - U.S. Department of Veterans AffairsI have the Text they told me to try and take a walk to calm down-

Eventually I got a call from the local va, a doctor called and said I needed to go through a 30 day program and that they were sorry they just realized I was high risk- as I have been committed before- that was all I heard

Let me tell you what , this month I got another phone call from the VA before my annual appointment and the nurse asked me if I finished the program- I was like what program ? She said and I quote “oh it seems as though you slipped threw the cracks”

Than I go to my annual appointment and she tells me the VA doesn’t care… word for word

And you know what , she was the realist person I had ever seen at the VA, I know I’m a number , - broke dick as they call.

Our system , our mental health system , is a utter joke in this country, don’t get me started on our government health care -

And Military OneSource won’t help if you have bipolar - they are the ones that turned me in last time and after that it was as if they washed their hands-

#military #marine #veteran #VAdisabilty #invisiblescars #bipolar #addiction #depression #mania #bipolartype1 #Ritalin

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fabianolflucas-blog · 4 years

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#Repost @bipolar2andme • • • • • • Educate yourselves okay! If only it was “happiness and sadness” 🙄 #bipolar #bipolartype1 #bipolartype2 #bipolarmemes #bipolarawareness #ihavebipolar #itsmymentalhealth #educateyourself #mentahealthawareness (at Miramar.BsAs) https://www.instagram.com/p/CC8_QLjj27x/?igshid=1d5rcu9zzklar

#repost #bipolar #bipolartype1 #bipolartype2 #bipolarmemes #bipolarawareness #ihavebipolar #itsmymentalhealth #educateyourself #mentahealthawareness

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somewhere-how-when-who-why · 7 years

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XXXVII: Godspeed, Gemini.

Long ago, Chained to a body By the Gods, I was. Call it torment. Call it bliss. This is life And my perspective Has been rife With thoughts Such as this. Death is a soft kiss. I know it to be One I do not want Anytime soon. So I work and pray To the Stars, Where they cross, and the Moon. Maybe someday, The gods would see fit To lift my soul And remove me from The Equator To someplace nice. Some place cold Where the birds Would not bite Nor peck at a mind Already ravaged. So I hold my hands high, Close my eyes, Take a pill or two And dream while I sigh.

#mental health #mentalhealth #poem #poetry #poet #reflection #reflective #spilled thoughts #bipolar #bipolartype1 #gemini #irony

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pleasejustignore · 7 months

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You know I really wish people would talk about the psycosis that comes with bipolar disorder more often. Because it fuckin SUCKS.

And apparently a great deal of bipolar people do experience psycosis in some capacity. Probably because people think more hallucinations then delusions, but either or both count.

#bipolardisorder #bipolartype1 #bipolar1 #bipolar #also with tags im just tagging stuff that i either have or are talking about #i get that symtoms overlap. im just bein specific over here #i dont care who reblogs really #except for ablists of any kind #even if theyre also mentally ill

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ronakana · 7 years

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When manic comes around

Memangnya enak living a life in manic period? Mungkin saya memang punya banyak energi yang hampir tak terbatas. Gak perlu tidur sejak 4hari yang lalu. Gak perlu takut kebablasan walau bimbingan sejak jam 5 subuh. Gak perlu takut sama macet yang bikin betis pegel. Cause i got unlimited energy. Dan selalu nampak happy. Tapi dibalik itu semua.... I got a racing thought. Pikiran saya gak bisa fokus dalam satu hal di waktu yang lama.i got anything undone. Implikasi dari overload serotonin itu ke impulsif. Saya ngomong seenaknya karena dopamin sama serotonin yang mbludak itu bikin penilaian terhadap realitas saya terganggu. Kalau saya posting apa apa yah mungkin bisa saya undo dengan hapus postingan itu. Tapi gimana kalau yang terjadi dengan yang saya omongin? Saya gak bisa undo omongan saya. Apalagi kalau orangnya keburu sakit hati. Saya berusaha ngerem sekuat tenaga saya, begitu pun dengan emosi saya. Saya usahakan. Karena periode ini bakal terus ada walau saya minum obat teratur. Obat hanya mengurangi dan overloadnya masih terjadi. Saya udah terapi musik dengan musik tanpa beat kaya yang psikiater saya saranin. Saya udah ngejauhin orang orang yang selalu muncul di fase manik saya. Yang saya usahakan sekuat tenaga buat purapura gak kenal di fase stable saya. Saya usahakan. Tapi ternyata saya selalu punya jalan..... Dan atas segala perkataan yang menyakiti, ya, saya sadari. Tapi kata maaf pun tak mampu akan mengobati. --- Saya lelah, butuh di doakan. Semoga Allah memberikan saya kekuatan untuk melawan di fase manik yang sedang datang. Semoga fase ini segera terlewatkan.

#bipolar #bipolartype1

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fcked-up-sometimes · 4 years

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Does anyone of you who have bipolar also struggle with an eating disorder or anxiety or agoraphobia? If so how’s it affected you? 💛

#bipolar #bipolaraffectivedisorder #bipolartype1 #bipolardisorder #bipolar1 #anxiety #agoraphobia #mentalillness #recovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorders #anorexia #bulimia #edrecovery

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lilmoonshine21 · 7 years

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Some days, I feel everything at once. Other days, I feel nothing at all. I don’t know what’s worse, drowning beneath the waves, or dying from the thirst.

an excerpt in an essay I wrote about struggling with bipolar disorder.

#bipolardisorder #bipolartype1 #bipolartype2 #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillnessisreal

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bipolarprincessblog · 5 years

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Can't sleep so worried about today! My stupid mental health isn't helping. All these horrible thoughts keep running through my head and I can't turn it off! #bipolartype1 #racingthoughts #simba #kittysofinstagram #instakitty #furbaby https://www.instagram.com/p/Bwt1AzDpzk7SAr8JSruUgQ7ey9bEejgqqTOQVc0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=u4g2afcz0z5c

#bipolartype1 #racingthoughts #simba #kittysofinstagram #instakitty #furbaby

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thinklevation · 3 years

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This is why we should never compare our journey to someone else’s journey towards healing. This is a brilliant representation of why we shouldn’t. It’s like a spaghetti diagram. No two situations are the same, similar maybe, but not the same. Posted @withregram • Everyone’s journey looks different 🗣🔥 • Reposted from @borderlineandbipolarjourney • • • #bipolardisorderawareness #bipolarawareness #bipolardisordertype1 #bipolardisordertype2 #bipolardepression #hypomania #mania #psychosisawareness #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorderawareness #mybpdlife #mybipolarlife #bipolartype1 #mentalillnessawareness #eupd #bipolartype2 #borderlineandbipolarjourney #complexptsd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #eupd #ptsd #mentalillness #mentalhealthmatters #eatingdisorderawareness #mentalhealthawareness #traumarecovery #livingwithmentalillness #understanding #bipolarsupport #borderlinepersonalitydisorderrecovery #trauma https://www.instagram.com/p/CQL9gosHjFT/?utm_medium=tumblr

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