pleasejustignore

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I'd totally get into bdsm or kink in general if I could confidently say that I'd even use a safe word. Or that I wouldn't purposefully ask to do scenes that's going to make me want to throw up and die when I try to sleep that night. It wouldn't be fair to whoever is doing the scene with me to basically be a tool for me to hurt myself.

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I wish I could stop going from completely empty, extreme paranoia, knowing I'm going to be ok, thinking about how beautiful life and how humans are inherently good, to remembering every horrible thing I've either done or has been done to me, intrusive thoughts, spiral thinking about how I may never feel ok again and this is my life now, miss people who probably don't even think about me, be convinced there's something hanging just above me wanting to do unspeakable things to my corpse once they're done with me, think about how much I love my cat, think about how devastated I might be when he dies, think about how I'm probably just making up all my problems, want to just die already, remembering how much my friends love me, and how I love them, try to ignore the feeling that they're just going to leave anyway, miss them in advance, question if any of this is worth it, and back to feeling empty again. All within a few hours while I try to sleep. I don't know what I'm going to do anymore.

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Why am I so afraid to die? I don't want the rest of my life to be like this. But what am I supposed to do? I don't have anyone or anything to define what genre of life I'm supposed to live. Everything is just empty

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I meant as in like. People don't realize it's psycosis bc it's just delusions for them. Also it's hard to realize that you're being delusional so that throws ya off too

You know I really wish people would talk about the psycosis that comes with bipolar disorder more often. Because it fuckin SUCKS.

And apparently a great deal of bipolar people do experience psycosis in some capacity. Probably because people think more hallucinations then delusions, but either or both count.

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You know I really wish people would talk about the psycosis that comes with bipolar disorder more often. Because it fuckin SUCKS.

And apparently a great deal of bipolar people do experience psycosis in some capacity. Probably because people think more hallucinations then delusions, but either or both count.

#bipolardisorder #bipolartype1 #bipolar1 #bipolar #also with tags im just tagging stuff that i either have or are talking about #i get that symtoms overlap. im just bein specific over here #i dont care who reblogs really #except for ablists of any kind #even if theyre also mentally ill

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My bestie has NPD and I'm a Bipolar mess. So we show solidarity thru memes.

Also this one was made by frien

#Bipolar #bipolartype1 #bipolardisorder #npd #npdpositivity #narcissistic personality disorder #hes my emotional support narcissist uwu #my last braincell dies every manic episode #i feel for anyone who has to witness

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Funny that I ignored this blog after making it. Was too scared people would somehow know who I am if I posted anything. I'm unsure if I'll ever tag posts. Either way I have no idea what my intent behind this blog is.