#also with tags im just tagging stuff that i either have or are talking about

[ianthoni]

Listen, Anthony's IG stories be about unconditional love and whatnot. I don't give a flying rats ass, they're about Ian 😎

LISTEN whenever i share my thoughts ppl call me crazy. But hear me out. I'm running an update account (@ian-anthonyupdates ) and im following his stories since december. And i believe all his stories about destiny/finding the true love/unconditional love/universe/sun-moon coded, fire and water coded stories are about Ian. And i have a ten pics limit so im gonna show a little bit whats in my head. (Check spirituality/lover boy tags in my updates profile you're gonna see what i mean i think half of them are related to Ian if not most) (the unconditional love videos he share is gonna be last)

Starting from his art pieces and their connection to Ian. This post was shared on the night of eclipse. For you guys to fully understand this whole interaction i need to start from the beginning of the day. Ian shared he watched the eclipse that day. He sharing a meme and a shadow of the eclipse (I'm gonna explain more in the next part) and then Anthony shared the red painting you can see at the back. Around the same time. That was Ian's FIRST ever comment in Anthony's painting account. He also followed Anthony's painting page and said 'this one was my favorite one so far'. And that night Anthony shared this heart, with the painting Ian liked at the back. Heart with an eye in it. Now eye is a keyword for us remember that it's gonna come up later in this essay lmao also noticed the tray in the table? Yeah it is coming in now.

Now here is the part tray comes in. That first tray is Anthony's tray. We can see it on the story he shared from the same day. And the eclipse story is Ian's story, he was watching the eclipse. Did you notice something? It is Anthony's tray, theyre watching the eclipse together. Now you may say that tray didnt come out in the factory as one piece. But remember it is from the same day. And its up to you if you believe it or not im just giving my observation. And remember this is the same day he liked Anthony's painting and followed his account. It is very very possible that they were together and maybe he even watched Anthony while he is painting.

After that watching the eclipse story. Anthony made an eclipse painting. Very obviously the sun hugging the moon. I love sun and moon ianthony stories because Anthony himself said Ian is like the sun. And we all know the romantic meaning of moon and sun, how sun illuminates the moon, how moon is in love with the sun and always around it. So it fits them. And Anthony shared this painting a few times after he did it which he was not doing that at the time. Like he wanted someone to see it and like it, comment on it like he did before with the red painting. But it didnt happen sadly :/ (this also might be the reason of instagram drama but im not opening that can of worms)

Now the EYES. Anthony and his obsession with blue eyes. This is definitely coming from looong before (i.e all his past gfs being blue eyed) but you know who's the first blue eye he met? Yeah you guessed it right. Ian. It doesnt even have to be love, but i think ian's eyes was always a safe place to him, something warm and remind him home and makes him feel happy cause Ian makes him happy. And he always complimented ian's eyes, how theyre beautiful and whenever Ian wears blue he always mention it, he even said "your eyes are out of this word" in Jared Leto live stream. So he loves blue eyes of a special person. And if you noticed before he loves drawing them too, either just blue pupils or full blue eyes but there's a couple of them. I'm specifically sharing this one cause he put a secret message in this. "I see the universe in your eyes" he shared lots of stuff about universe and destiny and love. And talked about him and Ian meeting again was universes job/ destiny. So i think he is associating Ian with the destiny/universe/galaxies stuff. NOW whats MORE interesting is Ian shared that story 7 hours after Anthony shared his painting... Interesting right. Oh btw Anthony always share his painting steps but he didnt share the i see the universe in your eyes. Like its a secret message just for one person to get it. And that person get it and send his own message back.

To accompany the eclipse painting, he used two songs, one that talked about a "longing" and another that was called Bliss and was the same piece that was playing in another story he shared that was about "consciousness observing the feeling of falling in love". (Which makes the romantic connotation of the eclipse painting undeniable). To make it even more interesting the same day he posted that eclipse painting he posted a picture of himself in lan's office, under a tapestry depicting a sun.

Ok this is getting SO LONG. But stay with me. The first one the hug. I shared that the hug looks exactly like their hugs. This is not obviously just that. The caption is more important. "Our differences makes us complete. Anthony talked about Ian and him being opposites in multiple videos till now. They're like water and fire, sun and moon, yin and yang. But this doesnt change the fact that they always find each other. If anything they're so happy with it now. They're getting along more than before.

Well do i have to say anything? Friendship always wins.

Again water and fire hugging allegory. I love that he's thinking of each other like that. He also make comments about Ian bringing the fire, also the fact that he's sun literally fire ball. Ian's favorite movie rrr had water/sun allegory. So it is obv to me he thinks of them when it's about opposites falling. Oh and he also have a "in order to live life we need fire" tattoo.

This one is so funny cause i didnt get it until they talk in the live stream. He talked about how he saw Ian going for a walk and he said can I join you too? And ofc Ian said yes and they went for a walk around together. He literally shared this the day Ian and him go for a walk together 😭 he said life is pretty good actually after spending time with Ian is so🥺

This was also from the same day he went on a walk with Ian. I think it fits. Watch hot tub live stream for the full walk story.

This was the day after they spend time together, going for a walk, shooting day. He missed someone.

Tbh this is pretty self explanatory too. He did see Ian as coming home, a safe place, like turning back home after a Kong tiring day, just like he did with meeting with Ian again and glowing with him each passing day.

Well Ian is pretty LMAO and i don't see he's posting this about someone new. Like idk 🤷🏻

Again the unconditional love theme. He share a lot of stuff about this actually. I think it fits them. He loves Ian without a reason.

People think the first one is about someone new. Cause of the way it says "and then one day someone walks into your life" like someone walks into his life just now. But i see this as him remembering their first meet. How Ian walked into his life that very day in 6th grade and how he changed his life completely. Anthony is so talented don't get me wrong but if they're smosh now, if he is Anthony Padilla™ now its because of Ian. Ian was with him from the very beginning. He was helping him, encouraging him, supporting him when he was a shy lil teen in front of the camera. I think Ian is the one that walking in his life and completely changing it in the best way possible.

Unconditional love, a theme he is posting about very occasionly. Since we're that deep and ppl already call me delulu im just gonna write what i write to friends when i see his unconditional love stories.

Unconditional love means he would love him without expecting anything in return. This doesn't mean there's no love returning back to him but means he would love him even if there wasn't. Even if Ian didn't hug him enough or kiss him enough or share him with the world the way he wants it. He'd still love him. Cause his love is unconditional. He doesn't need any of this. He still loves him without getting to shout out to the world.

He is meaning he would love him for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish. This is basically a wedding wow. It doesnt mean he thinks Ian wont make him laugh or he is not beautiful or hes poor, no he means even if he had nothing he'd still love him. Hence the unconditional. They loved each other when they were little boy's that have nothing and look like little gremlins. And i think its not gonna go away soon.

Oh also did you notice something? The very beginning of the video. Is basically the same as the ornament in Ian's room. With a bright and rising sun in it : )

Ok bye love y'all 💖

#smosh #ian hecox #anthony padilla #ianthony #☀️🔍 #Anthony's Instagram stories #soupmates #soulmates #soulmatism #analisys

[ilyiwdtpyiwmyhmtkys]

can you pls make crack tig hcs like make them really random and weird, those are always some of my favs. tysm

yes ofc!! i think that i’ve done some of these before so you can check my master list for the first part (CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW IM PUMPING THESE OUT LIKE)

| tags: @urbanflorals @reminiscentreader @nqds @annamatix @x-liv25-jamieswife @sophiesonlinediary @lyrakanefanatic @thatrandomlemononyourcounter1 @fortunatelyjollybeliever @123letsgobestie @off-to-the-r4ces /

jameson and xander played a big part in the music choice at libby and nash's wedding reception

lets just say that "country girl (shake it for me" by luke bryan was played and it was CHAOTIC

max listens to asmr to fall asleep and the xander found out so now she gets teased about it by the whole family

jameson had a phase as a teenager where he was addicted to energy drinks

jameson and grayson always manage to start a fight about chess and all of the games that they play together (chess yk) and it usually ends with them wrestling on the floor

jameson is obsessed with kraft mac and cheese and it caused avery to also become obsessed with it

they all like to go to amusement parks together (but they always have to have really heavy security which is annoying but yk)

avery and libby made their boyfreinds watch all of the classic shows when they found out that they hadn't seen them yet (friends, gilmore girls, gossip girl, etc)

only nash and jameson though becuase grayson refuses and xander has already seen them obv

they both have VERY strong opinions on the shows that they watch

jameson always tried new sports and stuff when he was a kid so now he's just really good at all of these random things

at their sleepovers avery and max do those random youtube videos that are like, "guess the song by the emoji" and max is a lot better at it for some reason

xander's dream is to go to a sza concert (he gives those vibes if you know what i mean)

grayson pretends not to like max but secretly he thinks that she's funny (even if he'll never admit it )

grayson was the one who first made jameson try alcohol as a dare (IT'S HIS FAULT HE WAS AN ALCOHOLIC)

tiramisu has a lot of energy so she likes running around with xander and jameson in the back yard because we both know that they have the most energy

sometimes jameson will randomly comment on tiktoks about himself and then start a chain of people freaking out

for the short time that nash was an only child he was always scared of walking around the house by himself because he either thought he was gonna get lost or that something was gonna pop out of the shadows

avery makes jameson download grammerly of smth on his phone because she gets tired of all of his spelling mistakes

which he probably just does on purpose at this point to annoy her

#the inheritance games #jennifer lynn barnes #jameson hawthorne #the hawthorne legacy #avery kylie grambs #nash hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #the brothers hawthorne #the grandest game

[pleasejustignore]

You know I really wish people would talk about the psycosis that comes with bipolar disorder more often. Because it fuckin SUCKS.

And apparently a great deal of bipolar people do experience psycosis in some capacity. Probably because people think more hallucinations then delusions, but either or both count.

#bipolardisorder #bipolartype1 #bipolar1 #bipolar #also with tags im just tagging stuff that i either have or are talking about #i get that symtoms overlap. im just bein specific over here #i dont care who reblogs really #except for ablists of any kind #even if theyre also mentally ill

[spear-gsun]

A character i designed in class today, got the assignment to make a character and for some reason i was thinking about bells I realized while making her that she'd actually fit into my oc world pretty well and add some really interesting stuff

Have not come up with a name for her yet unsurprisingly, so lets just call her Bell Goat(sheep? cow?) Grandma for now

Also heres the sketches from when i was trying to come up with ideas, first i drew the bells in the corner, then the person in the top right, and then the sketch i ended up refining

#I should really have a proper tag for my oc stuff shouldnt i? #OC #Original Characters #I dont have a name for the world/story/whatever itll be yet either #Thinking about calling it Reverie something.... Reverie Lost has been in my mind for the longest #But i dont really like it much lmao #Also i would like to talk more about my ocs but the problem is that they change so much because my worldbuilding process is a mess #Literally just decided one day “hey im gonna take literally all my current ocs and just mash them together in one universe” #And i ended up getting much more attached to my characters because of it but also #Making everything fit together as im still developing each character fairly seperately is like the worst puzzle ever #Its fun for me so its ok #Ill get there one day

[deus-ex-mona]

starting the year ✨wrong✨

#(this is about work ok. long rant in the tags bc auauauauauauauuauauauauauauauaaaaaaaa) #i’ve worked for just t h r e e (3!!!!) days this year and i think im already all burned out lmao #first i was stuck doing 2 workstations bc this freakin’ b o z o of a coworker decided to take the week off without prior notice #and *t h e n* the internal components of one of said workstations kicked the bucket and was only replaced today. sads. #rip to our wasted time and futile fixing efforts though. flashtag wetried #that’s not all t h o u g h i was told that i have to jump to the other work shift bc one of my coworkers is resigning #b u t the thing is. all of the other dudes in that shift are from [insert bordering country] and always speak in their nation’s language #so i won’t be able to communicate well with them for the most part ​esp s o bs #and if [insert country here] has a national holiday and a l l of them decide to take the day off.. #well. um. ahahahaha. im ✨screwed✨ #(but speaking of taking the day off… one of said guys on that shift has an approved leave for cny. which is funny bc he’s not even chinese) #(rips if the actual other chinese dude on that team has his leave request rejected bc of that guy lol. happy cny to him ig) #a n d also i was made to (sorta) teach these two new coworkers (of sorts) the workstation i’m at for the week #b u t the thing is. i do everything here by left (didn’t receive formal training either lmao sadge) #and i also couldn’t explain anything well in general bc it seems like my flow of thoughts can’t streamline itself ig #so i think i confused the poor guys more than anything. but like. why me??????? aaaauauaaaaaaaaaa #idk why one of them came back for more ‘education’ from me thoughhhhh #i’ve tried teaching ‘em stuff at another workstation before this and my feedback was ‘wait slow down you talk too fast’ s o o o o . #ig i’ll have to guide them though again in the morning though. sighs. this wasnt in my job description :( #speaking of job descriptions though… this h e l l a annoying guy no one likes who resigned a few months ago (to much rejoicing)… #is!!!!! coming!!!! back!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #w h y. like. w h y. why is he so attached to this company he l l o? why is our manager so attached to him helloooooooo????? why him??????? #our workloads literally t r i p l e when he’s around bc he’s just the way he is. auauauauauauauauaaaaaaaaaaaa #aaaaaaaaaaa i dont wanna work aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #science industry (derogatory) questionable laboratory conditions (derogatory) #felt cute; thought about retiring early idk

[httpiastri]

how about if... i just... don't do my work.....

#ohhh right i was supposed to connect my phone! i totally forgot about that!! and i didn't read that par #of the email you sent me... just all other parts... and even though you told me to do it this tuesday and also last week i just forgot... #pls i'm so unmotivated #i speedran a lot of my work stuff but now it's like #my job computer has freaked out and i should go to the like it services help but i just can't be bothered #idk the guys working there are kinda sketchy (and they're probs on lunch break rn) plusssss i don't have a like access card (????) so like #if i leave the office i cant really get back in so i'll have to knock on the door and hope someone lets me in lol i just don't wanna #the only assignment i have left for the day is something i need the work computer to do but i just don't wanna talk to people to get help.. #also none of my bosses or coworkers in my department are here... its just me and this one lady from the economy department so no one knows #she either listening to really loud music in her headphones or she doesn't even have headphones?? either way i can hear her music clearly 😶 #also!! the n1 thing i should do but just cant is #im supposed to go to the front desk and like connect my phone to my boss's number so i get her calls because shes on holiday or whatever #but like... i still really really *really* can't talk on the phone #there's just no way im doing that #i just don't know how to fake like #sounds believable? #much more fun to rant in tags than to work 👍 #and to think of how obsessed i am with lando norris #OMG PAUL F2 ANNOUNCEMENT RN AS IM TYPING AAAAAA #HELP

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

y'know, I've been seeing a lot more posts talking about how fanfic, specifically, puts characters into boxes and takes away the nuance of them, and while I think that's an important discussion to have, I also find it quite perplexing? Like, these posts seem to come from people who don't even, or maybe very rarely, consume fics in the first place, and I say that because, if you do consume fics semi-regularly, you kind of learn? how to gage what the stories and characterisation are going to be like based on the tags and summary? Sometimes, you do have to step into the fic to figure it out, but it hardly takes very long to realise if it gels with you or not. Idk, it's not anything serious or important, but it does give me... "girl, what were you doing at the devil's sacrament" vibes, you know?

#this gets posted here because my main has mutuals (whom i still love v much) who are part of the girls suspiciously at the sacrament #fanfiction #ao3 #i feel like the post doesnt properly address what i mean. i understand that these posts arent talking about fics exactly but rather how #mischaracterisation in fics permeates into how characters are portrayed in the fandom at large but even then it's a bit. like i dont think #you can put that all on the fics/writers (and these posts usually do) alone?? like yes the mischaracterisation is more prominent in fics #by virtue of their medium but if it's resonating with artists and other creators then that's clearly indicative of a general #cognisance issue in the fandom??? and like. maybe it's because tumblr is the only socmed site i use but i dont find it difficult to curate #my fandom experience. people generally know how to use tags and while the sudden influx of x reader stuff for every single character isnt #something im fond of either they're generally good at tagging their stuff. it's annoying but you can blacklist that. you can. #also fic isnt like art where you look at it and you've seen it. you have to engage with a fic to understand so then it /really/ feels like #girl what were you doing at the devil's sacrament to me. idk this post isnt complaining about fandom mischaracterisation in general #i complain about that all the time but more so the inclination to put it on fics & their writers. because if you know how to move through #fic spaces and read the summaries and tags #you can generally find works that are really really good. could you argue they're rare? sure. but saying all fics propogate #mischaracterisation is just... a lie? #this got so long. im not even really bothered or annoyed by it im just confused #these are also often the people who espouse rhetoric about being unafraid to post cringe and embracing your weirdness #and it's like. okay do you want people to post unabashedly or do you want them to shut up. #anyway. back to our regularly scheduled programme now

[thebuttsmcgee]

THE SAME PLUSH CREATOR FOR THE LUMITY PLUSHES HAS PLANS FOR A WILLOW AND HUNTER PLUSH SET LETS GOOOOO

#butts talks nonsense #well technically its also owl house related but I dont wanna main tag that #tho it might end up there anyways? ehhhh #aaanyways. apparently they said so nearly a month ago lmao I guess I missed it tho ldjqhbdw #really cool tho!!!!!!!!! Dude I have seen like NO Willow plushes at all and only 1 Hunter plush. Ive seen a custom made Gus one as well but #only by 1 person tho it was still p cool #Im p excited tho!!!!! Their Luz and Ams plushes have always been really well made as well as their SPoP ones so woot! #Granted I jUST got the Luz one a little ago but to be fair Im. hm. picky? when it comes to detail and Ive always seen her hoodie as purbl #so thats why I ordered right away when they started manufacturing Luz in purbl instead of the blue. I also just never got the hexside #uniformed ones cuz. uh. money? Ig. lmao I dont really remember since its actually been a while. Kinda regret it but who knows! #Maybe theyll restock it or someone could sell their own one day. I did just see a S1 Ams plush go for sale. so. ehhuh. #hg. times like these I wish they made a Gus and Matty plush set ghhehgvvvv. IMAGINE A GUS PLUSH IF YOU WOULD!!!! #Granted I dont think we've seen Matty in an actual casual fit so he'd either hafta be in Hexside uniform or the fit he wore in TTLGR. #Which. Mighta? been his casual? outfit? uh. hm. In my mind I kept thinking that was his previous Glandus uni but Im not sure now LMAO #anyways w for huntlow. even if ya dont like it then hey an actually well made (and actually made) Willow and Hunter plush! #THO. HEADS UP. LMAO ITLL BE 120 FOR THE SET FHSBABSBW #yea I paid about 67 for my Luz plush and the Lumity set was like. 120 without shipping fees dfjwbsb #all cool tho. after all it is commission work! #dude I just love plushies. My sonic one is on the way argh argh argh. #I need to hold myself back from stimming cause more cool stuff like plushes for toh gets me really happy and excited djahb #but yea!!!!! hell yea!!!!!!! HELL YES DUDE!!!! FINALLY WILLOW MERCH!!!! also merch for gringito 👌 #OH LMAO I bet Mr. Zeno Robinson is gunna somehow get 1. He deserves it #uh oh. lookin at these tags. I may have. whats the word. uh. infodumped? I dunno but I rambled a lot about this cuz Im actually excited #for this. BUT THEYRE SUCH A GREAT PLUSH maker ofc I would!!!! I wonder what designs they'd use tho. okay I should stop. bef. brgore I #before I ramble again too much rjaqnnqwn

[pyrriax]

hey guys im back at it again with the horrible levels of s4 zam brainrot. um.

did i manage to somehow make this song about him in my head? yes! yes i did. and i cannot be normal about it.

#haunted ecosystem #genuinely when youre insane enough about your blorbos everything is about them. this is one of those cases #also i might be writing some more things. and probably watching some vods. #im writing something to post as a general christmas gift fic (as i've done for the last like. two years? in my heart at least) alongside #the two event fics i have in the works PLUS the twb flash prompt event im participating in :) #expect some more bizarre concept fics soon i think! i might also pick up some older threads that i havent touched #i think it'll be fun since my muse is definitely leaning toward writing zam. i love writing him honestly #i have a thing for distinctly pathetic and paranoid characters (see: my adoration for outsiders!apo & pandora [oc]) #who knew i'd enjoy writing characters i relate to #is it weird to say that the general concept of asomatous and the stuff i want to write related to it is very near to my heart. and like #its very personal. its inspired by my experiences you see. the concept of losing sight of reality in isolation and also just #the bugs. i never had a moment with bug pinning but i did have a problem with collecting the corpses of animals i found dead #once spring rolls around im going to work on processing them and giving them proper display and love #AAANYWAYS #ohhhh my god i should finish up bedrock shards and bloody garden #those two are my og fics for this fandom. i want to complete them and share them even if they arent fully how i view the characters now #i think its interesting to share and show initial impressions and also show how i wasn't fully sure about these guys #(also i love how i didnt understand the concept and mechanics of the cleansing but its still Present because it was before s5 so like #it was either s3 or abandon canon and i was sooooo afraid of leaving canon behind in favor of exploring) #my talking in tags habit is showing again.... woops #does anybody even read these? i have no clue #if you do i am so sorry for my habit of talking about dead animals. good lord. it happens so often #i forget it isnt normal until people point it out. having to explain that *yes* i collect dead things is. fun #oh man i have some coyote skulls i really need to clean at some point. its just a pain since i need to get the cage out again and prep them #since the method that got recommended to me is actually bad for the bones (since it involves essentially cooking them which softens #the bones and makes them a lot more likely to break or splinter. so i need to leave them out or bury them and im still not sure which wil #work better. it really depends on if spring is going to be dry as hell again or not. im rambling AND off topic. woops) #Spotify

[flashhwing]

I need to confess something so I’m gonna put it in the tags and hope that nobody who Knows will see dhsksj

#THIS ISNT BAD OR DRAMA OR DISCOURSE OR ANYTHING this is me being like teehee I did something I’m not supposed to #anyway my latest dnd group is like a subset of an existing discord #so our dm created a thread so he can talk about campaign spoilers with the rest of the server #without us players seeing it #but secretly ………….. I check the tag regularly #IM CAREFUL THO about things #I only look at spoilers that pertain either to myself or the campaign at large #I DONT LOOK at anything to do with the other players and their backstories #(okay I did see ……….. one thing I’m not supposed to) #(but I PROMISE I can keep the secret! I can act like I don’t know!) #AND LIKE OKAY TO BE FAIR ALSO a lot of what I’ve seen is stuff that’s like. well I do not know what this means because I don’t have context #or like ‘here’s an npc that is blorbo’ #and since it’s a pre written module that I haven’t read but others in the thread have #the dm doesn’t expand on it so I don’t know what they’re talking about anyway! #and there were a few things I snooped on they went and later told me about privately anyway so y’know what. that’s fine dhsksjsh #I’m just a nosy person who enjoys spoilers okay and I don’t think I’ve done anything that’ll ruin things for me #OR ANYONE ELSE because despite appearances I CAN keep a secret #(okay the thing I know about another character would’ve been a really interesting reveal if I didn’t know) #(but since I do I can consider it. dramatic irony! for me and me alone mwahahaha) #delete later

[princekirijo]

I beat Elden Ring 🧍

#i am still pumping with adrenaline from that final boss god damn #what an ending #i am just about to do ranni's ending cause i love her #but holy shit #absolutely stellar game #i really hope it wins game of the year it really really deserves it #(well it or stray) #honestly? top 5 if not top 3 fav games of all time #i warn you all now im about to dive head first into the rabbit hole that is fromsoft games #i think ill either go new game + of elden ring or start ds3 #but wow play this game if you can because it is amazing #everything i want in a game and more 🙏 #also ill mention it again but now because im going to be talking/reblogging stuff about the game more #im not tagging spoilers unless im asked to #but if you want me to please ask #otherwise well yeah imma be spamming it more #im so excited to try thw others in the series i have high hopes for ds3 and bloodborne #and if y'all thought this was me parking persona content then no because now ive beat this game i can focus on p5r again #and also riku my boy ain't going anywhere because i was playing as him so he's getting dragged into this hell with me 💀

[nick-close]

I think I got dndads tumblr burnout tbh- I have this horrible habit where if I go on the dndads tag I can’t leave until I’ve seen every new post under it so I didn’t miss anything,,,, and turns out THAT SUCKS TO DO!! ESPECIALLY IF U TAKE A LONG BREAK!! So now I am just... quiet.. shh.... so that’s probably why I’m inactive lol-

#not dndads #im mentally ill #help #I also insist on commenting something nice under every good art post I see under the dndads tag #which is fun but tiring cuz ill put off interacting with a post until I have the mental energy #I JUST #this is either an adhd thing or #idk some othr mental illness #who fucking knows #anywyas this is just me explaining myself #and saying sorry for being gone!! #I’m also trying to graduate high school lol #and I’m mostly doing stuff with ocs and my obscure au I cannot talk about because it’s cringe #<3 #ty for listening ik nobody cares or expects things of me but #yk

[shiningclown69]

My biggest pet peeve is ppl saying Brandon and Helia were cheating on their girlfriends.

Especially if they use that as a counter-argument to ppl who don't like Riven

#i hate it so much #and its a surprisingly re-occurring take i always see #this is coming from both a brandon and riven enjoyer #this take never fails to make me write an angry 2000 word essay #idk if its just me #stop saying brandon was cheating!!! #just bc ur uncomfortable w his behaviour doesnt mean stella was!!!!! #stella literally does the same thing with guys and they have flirting contests #as for helia krystal is literally just his childhood friend #they have no romantic interest in each other #krystal is literally just a sweetheart who happens to be v touchy #i imagine if she got closer to flora she would be as touchy w her as she was w helia #helia introducing flora as his friend was a bit strange but hes not wrong also? #plus flora didnt rly address her insecurities with either of them #that plot was so contrived....its literally a misunderstanding problem not a cheating problem #riven and musa literally had the same misunderstanding problem later on #im gonna d*e #anyway i accidentally wrote my angry 2000 word essay in the tags lol #imma end it here in case somebody gets mad at me 😭 #jester talks about stuff

[rouge-the-bat]

Hi Rouge! Just wanted to say that with all the drama I've had going on with anon hate, I'm really glad it wasn't you. I was a little worried because I like your content and I would have been sad to lose you.

Also, I wanted to tell you that you helped me figure out some gender things and now I'm a little more open minded regarding gender. So thank you!

D: oh no, ive been more off tumblr lately after getting sdv so i hadnt seen youve been getting hate 😟 im so sorry about that, we havent been following each other for very long but you seem really cool, you dont deserve hate :(

*hugs* im glad to hear tho that you really like my content n ive helped u understand some gender stuff better!! if i can help people become more open minded about stuff thats always really great to see :'3

#also dw i wouldnt stoop to shit like anon hate #ive gotten WAAYYYYY too much of that over the years #if i got a problem with someone i say it with my chest and call them an asshole for when theyre being an asshole HFJSJFJ #i only do that for ppl hating on me/my identity tho. bc im sick of ppl spouting hate #and its not like ill keep sending hate. ill just see them being an ass and ill send one ''wow youre a fucking asshole'' and block #if i have an issue with someone i relatively know i believe in the Hey Can We Just Talk About This method #i may not have any mercy or respect for people being deliberate cunts #but im not the type to attack ppl for like. different views or maybe being a bit ignorant on something or w/e #also i scrolled down ur blog n ig its about the pro life stuff?? #which like. im pro choice 100% but im tokophobic so i prefer staying away from topics about pregnancy n abortion n stuff usually #i got tags for that stuff blocked #im not gonna immediately lump all prolifers into being pieces of shit or w/e #theres a lot of reasons n emotions involved for why ppl take stances esp on a topic like that #n from what im seein it doesnt look like a topic either of us really feel comfy with discussing in depth lol #so dw im not gonna be dragging u into talking about it #starry asks #wow i really just say a lot of shit in the tags sometimes. why do i put in here rather than on the post itself? idk i just Do #this is the secondary thoughts room. i guess

[alchemiclee]

as a fellow introvert; we are social creatures. introverts who purposefully see no one for months on end are usually just in a cycle where its been so long since they’ve hung out that it’s too intimidating for them to do anymore. i 100% feel tired after hanging out with my friends but i DO also feel happy and refreshed! tl;dr - you’re super normal lol. try to reach out to a couple people just to chat this week <3

thanks for reaching out I really appreciate it❤️ but I have to rant a bit. I allow you to ignore it!

I wish to not be a social creature because going too long without having a friend to talk to or not having someone to talk with almost daily feels bad and it's so hard to have a friend when I need one D:

i've been reaching out to people for the last few weeks or so but they don't reach back. try playing games with people but they play with their other friends or dont feel like playing. invite people to hang out but they say maybe and never give an answer or don't respond.

I don't want to bother my closest friends in our group chat too much in our group chat but the chat is mostly me sending messages with no response and even couple times saying I need a friend when I was having bad days but they didn't want to chat and I dont want to force anyone to entertain my lonely depressed ass. (especially when all I really needed was to talk about the new star rail stuff to distract me but I don't think they've finished it yet so I don't want to spoil) they live together so they always have to socialize and probably make each other tired without needing to add me to it.

so i've also been trying to reach out to new people, like joining twitch chats again for the first time in years. but that never goes well and doesn't satisfy my social needs. too many people talking at once and being the new person no one cares about and all....getting to know a new is very exhausting. but it's so hard to just be able to skip all that getting to know each other stuff jump straight into talking about a thing we both like (in this case it's star rail and cosplay and maybe art) I don't have enough already-known people to reach out to and i'm too tired to do the small talk dance until it's appropriate to jump into special interest territory. being autistic is so exhausting. I with to be one of those rare autistics I sometimes hear about that have 0 interest in social interaction at all

so as you can see, i'm trying. so hard. to the point I'm exhausting myself. it's been too much work for no payoff and makes things feel worse when the outcome isn't what I need and its constant reaching with no one grabbing my hand back. so I keep making annoying tumblr posts about it. i'm so sorry to anyone that reads my nonsense 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is a normal thing with me but it's usually kept to my other blog that's reserved for more serious posts like this but I tried posting here as a way to "reach out" and see if it invites any friendly friends or something but I don't think i'm doing it right...

(but I am going to a con tomorrow with someone I haven't talked to in like 2 years. but we don't have anything in common anymore so theres not much to talk about. he's the only person who responded to me after trying to reach out for like a month but I fear it will only exhaust me being around too many people and not help this gross need to have a deeper connecting socialization D:)

#i dont know how to ask for attention without asking for attention because attention seeking is bad and annoying #the more needy and annoying you come off the more people will ignore you. saying i need someone to talk to or hang out with gets me ignored #but being vague gets me also ignored???? like just trying to start a convo by throwing things out randomly doesnt work either #so if i cant be direct or indirect or invite people or ask to be invited or anything else ive tried ehst do i do? #how do i satisfy this stupid social need im cursed with? it takes me a month or 3 to recover from socializing so its not like i always ask #but its still too much. and “you need to find the right people” isnt helpful. because how!!! ive been looking for that for 30 years lmao #i just need someone to invite me and always invite me every time and always reach out first every time (well not every time. just dont make #me be the one every time because thats how it usually seems to go) #but no one wants to do the work and tell me when its ok to bother them. if i bother someone too many times in a row and get no response #then i will stop and wait. and wait. and wait. and give up eventually. or after certain amount of rejections i give up. #so that i dont come off as needy and attention seeking and obnoxious. if people want me they can come to me. and when no one does #that just feels bad. i hate that it feels bad. i wish to make that stop. i wish to turn off feelings. #i cannot figure out the line between bothering someone too much or just enough. how much am i required to push people #and how much is too much where i snap the line while trying to reel them in? because ive snapped more times than ive caught #or the bait just gets completely ignored and i get bored of waiting #oops im slipping into metaphor territory now. that means its time to stop saying words. #hopefully no one reads my annoying tags. i just needed a free space to ramble and vent amd tags are lile little whispers to do that in #but also it is autism acceptance month. people should be adopting a local autistic(me) person to show them what having friends is like #lee rants #im being super particular about how i need to socialize right now as well. dont want trauma bonding/life talks/depression sharing type stuff #only want special interest light hearted goofy fun talks. but those are so hard to do. its easy for people to default into doom conversation #but its hard to keep them on my topic of interest and to stay positive 😭

[lollybliz]

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#bliz rambles in the tags #wip talk #the brain worms have been WRITHING #i think ive finished the prequel oneshot #i think its done #and i want to post it so goddamn bad fhsflsd #but i need to wait for my sister to give it a second pass cus i just know ive missed some typo or grammar fuckup somewhere #and i really did plan on waiting to post it until the big one was closer to finished #and i did pick it back up yesterday! #but it was all editing mistakes and stuff; theres still a huge chunk at the backend that's stuck in outline hell #i know where i want it to go i just dont know what shape exactly it'll be and most of my time rn is either class or work #spring break is coming though #(theres also the fact that both fics involve the kink ive joked about but havent posted to this blog in y e a r s so theres that) #(im definitely expecting to get teased when i post them fshfls)