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#anyway you can definitely tell what i got into recently lol
mystical-salamander · 9 months
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rules — shuffle your “on repeat playlist” and list the first ten songs, then tag ten people
Thanks for the tag @friendly-jester !!
New Genesis – Ado
Mortal Reminder – Pentakill
The Whole "Being Dead Thing" – Beetlejuice Original Broadway Cast Recording
That Beautiful Sound – Beetlejuice Original Broadway Cast Recording
Prologue: Invisible – Beetlejuice Original Broadway Cast Recording
Rell, The Iron Maiden – League of Legends
Money – Mystery Skulls
Dead Mom – Beetlejuice Original Broadway Cast Recording
Backlight– Ado
A Pizza the Action - The Stupendium
No pressure tagging: @digital-gargoyle @thatonegreyghost @astudyinpanda @astralalmighty @foxxxtransformer123 @seth-shitposts @never-ending-fanfic @ahsoka-its-all-of-us and anyone else who wants to play
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angelfic · 10 months
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— IF I CAN’T HAVE YOU BABY
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pairing: mattheo riddle x nott!reader
summary: you weren't quite used to the attention of other boys, and it seems your brother's best friend isn't too fond of it either
warnings: brother's best friend trope!! swearing, kissing, not much else, very much unedited
author’s note: i don't tend to stray outside of the marauders era characters buuuut i've been a bit obsessed with mattheo and theo recently so this was for my own selfish needs lol as always let me know what you think!!
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He had barely looked away from you all evening.
You knew the only reason Mattheo’s eyes had been fixed on you for the entirety of dinner was because of a certain type of attention you had unconsciously garnered on your first day back at school. Particularly male attention. It wasn’t any less disconcerting, however, knowing that your brother’s best friend was prepared to fist fight any potential romantic advances towards you because he was just as protective as your actual older sibling.
Your brother Theodore is no better, a displeased frown appearing every five minutes when he looks over to where you sit at the Gryffindor table.
“Merlin, boys are pathetic,” Ginny mutters, spearing a potato with her fork. “You go away for one summer and come back slightly prettier and they flock to you like bees to honey!” You’re about to weakly protest that she’s exaggerating, but at that exact moment you’re interrupted by a tap on your shoulder.
You slowly turn on the bench, reluctantly lowering your goblet of pumpkin juice to face Michael Corner, a Ravenclaw boy who you’d only ever spoken to when he was going out with Ginny.
“Hi, Michael,” you sigh, offering him a bland smile.
“Hello, Nott,” Michael replies, with what he probably thinks is a winning smile. “Had a good summer? I was just going to ask if you wanted to go on the first Hogsmeade visit of the term with me.”
You stare at him, unblinking. “Er- well, as… nice as that sounds,” you say slowly, not meaning a word. You glance at Ginny as pointedly as you can manage and raise an eyebrow. “I don’t quite relish the idea of going out with my best friend’s ex.”
“Oh! I, erm, I didn’t actually see you there, Ginny,” he stammers, laughing sheepishly. “My mistake.”
“Quite,” Ginny says drily, turning back to her plate of food.
“Well, er, see you later then,” Michael mumbles, nearly tripping over himself as he rushes back to the Ravenclaw table.
You bite your lip to stifle your giggles but it’s not long before you catch Ginny’s eye and the both of you erupt into fits of laughter.
“I can’t believe I ever went out with him,” Ginny groans, wiping her eyes.
“Was he always such a tosser or is that new?” you ask, snorting at the way Ginny scrunches up her face in embarrassment.
You’re still laughing when your eyes happen to pass over the Slytherin table just to focus on Mattheo.
You notice with a jolt that he’s looking at you again. This time, his eyes flick over to the Ravenclaw table for a second where Michael has settled back onto, then back to you and he quirks a brow quizzically.
Frowning, you mouth at him to stop in hopes that he ceases his scrutiny, just for him to roll his eyes and return to whatever one-sided conversation Blaise Zabini was attempting to engage him in. You hope you don’t look as flustered as you feel after realising Mattheo has just witnessed such an embarrassing encounter, but you’ve found over the years that you’re not the best at hiding the effects he has on you. Theo has never mentioned it in front of Mattheo as far as you’re aware, but he definitely hasn’t shied away from teasing you about the childhood crush you have on your brother’s closest friend. Not that you’ve ever admitted it to him anyway, and you’ve gotten a lot better at hiding it since nothing could ever come of it.
“Your brother and Riddle have been looking like they’re ready to halve the male population of Hogwarts since we got on the bloody train,” Ginny says, pulling you out of your thoughts.
“Tell me about it,” you sigh, cutting into your carrot a little more viciously than needed. “They keep looking over at our table. I feel like I’m on one of those Muggle reality television programmes Hermione was telling your dad about the other week.”
Arthur Weasley was absolutely transfixed when he was learning about reality television from Hermione during breakfast the week you both stayed at The Burrow, and although you zoned out after his sixteenth question about a singular programme, you feel as though you caught the gist of it.
“Hm,” Ginny agrees, grimacing at the memory. She had nodded off at the table during that conversation and fallen asleep on her slice of toast. “In fairness, that’s not really a new thing.”
“What, being watched by my two guard dogs?” you ask in a mock-serious voice.
“Yeah, but…” Ginny chews thoughtfully for a second before answering. “I’m not just talking about today, or even recently. Your brother mostly minds his own business. I’m talking about Riddle. He’s always looking at you, I noticed it last year. Wherever we are, kind of like he’s checking up on you,” she says like it’s common knowledge, shrugging. “It’s sweet, I guess.”
You blink at her, a little speechless.
“What?” Ginny frowns after a few seconds of your silence. You look at her with raised eyebrows, not really taking her seriously. In your first few years at Hogwarts, you had confided in Ginny regarding your silly, little girl feelings for Mattheo and she would read into every action he took towards you in an attempt to prove he liked you too. Obviously, he saw you as nothing but a younger sister figure and once you grew up a bit, Ginny had let it go too.
Ginny reads your dubious expression now and sets down her knife and fork to cross her arms. “Oh, for heaven’s sake. I’m serious! I’m not just saying it because you were helplessly in love with him until you were, like, fourteen.”
“Shush!” you hiss, thwacking her arm. “Why don’t you just get up on stage with Dumbledore and ask him to include that titbit of information for the entire school to hear in his speech!”
“Good idea,” she says, nodding seriously and starting to get up. You know she’s just teasing, but you start spluttering and frantically grab at her sleeve to sit her back down, causing her to topple onto you slightly. This sets you both off laughing again and you find it hard to stop for the rest of dinner and desert, thankfully staying far away from the topic of Mattheo. You also pointedly avoid looking at him again.
Once dinner is over, you head to the Gryffindor common room with the rest of your house and catch up with everyone for a while. After a couple hours of socialising and fifteen minutes of helping Neville Longbottom search for his pet toad, you head up to your dorm with Ginny and Lena, one of your other dormmates, to unpack.
As soon as you open your luggage, you search for your pyjamas and immediately change out of your robes and into a t-shirt and baggy shorts for comfort. You’re in the middle of unpacking some textbooks when you hear Lena whistle from behind you.
“I do not remember those pyjamas looking like that,” Lena comments, grinning at you. Rolling your eyes, you comply with her request to do a little spin and you can’t help feeling pleased when Lena and Ginny start whooping and hollering. “You’ve always been gorgeous, but you really grew up this summer, huh? Look at those legs!”
“Tell me about it,” Ginny pipes in, flopping down on her bed and abandoning her unpacked suitcase. “She came to stay for a week and Mum looked like she was going to cry every time she saw us. Something about ‘blossoming into young ladies’ or whatever bollocks.”
“You ‘blossomed’ last year,” you point out, and Lena hums in agreement. “I haven’t forgotten how Zacharias Smith fell off his broom trying to wave at you during Quidditch practice.”
Ginny groans and starts ranting about teenage boys again. Lena joins in and starts teasing her about how Harry Potter is the only boy she hasn’t complained about and you’re about to set down your belongings to help Lena dodge the pillows Ginny is throwing at her when a flash of green and silver in your suitcase catches your eye.
“Shite, I have Theo’s uniform,” you huff, grabbing the clothes out of your suitcase and sliding your slippers on. “That means he has mine and I am not dealing with this at seven in the morning. I’m gonna go drop this off, be back in a minute.”
Ginny says goodbye before resuming her pillow attack on Lena as you make your way out of the room and down into the common room. It’s nearly empty, with most people having gone to their rooms to pack and a quick glance at the clock tells you its past curfew. You decide to take the risk since you have a reasonable excuse, but you hope that if you do get caught, it isn’t by Filch or Snape.
By the time you’ve reached the dungeons, you thank Merlin that Theo had the sense to tell you the password for the Slytherin common room before dinner in case of emergency.
“Pureblood,” you mutter, fighting the urge to scoff when the door swings open. You enter the common room and brighten up when you see that the only students still hanging around are Theo and his friends. Your brother seems to have already started unpacking since he’s standing and holding your uniform, presumably about to come and find you. His friends all mumble polite ‘hello’s and he walks up to you with a smile.
“Oh, hey, I was just-” Theo cuts himself off when he properly looks at you and frowns. “Wha- Why are you wearing pyjamas out and about?”
“You’re wearing pyjamas too!” you exclaim, slightly embarrassed that your brother is doing this in front of your friends. They all turn to look at you again, hearing the indignation in Theo’s voice and you notice Mattheo suddenly sits up straighter. Suddenly aware of your bare legs, you tug down the material of your shorts, despite the fact they aren’t even very short to begin with.
“Oi. Stop looking at my sister!”” Theo snaps, glaring at Blaise, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle. You know the only reason they glanced at you in the first place is out of curiosity regarding Theo’s question, but Theo and Mattheo scowl at them all the same and they all start sputtering, Draco in particular when Pansy narrows her eyes at him. Theo sighs at you, quickly exchanging your uniforms. “Just- at least take something to cover up back to your room.”
“I’ll walk her back,” Mattheo says, out of nowhere. He stands up and makes his way over to you, face carefully blank. Theo nods, agreeing quickly before he ruffles your hair goodbye to go and finish packing. You’re too surprised by Mattheo’s offer to protest until you’re already out of the Slytherin common room.
“I don’t need someone to walk me back, you know,” you mumble after a minute of charged silence.
“It was either me or Theo,” he shrugs, completely unapologetic when his mouth quirks up in a smug smile. “And I know you prefer me.”
“You’re both equally annoying,” you say, rolling your eyes, happy that he’s talking to you like normal again. You hated it whenever Mattheo was serious – it was rarely ever towards you and you much preferred when his whole face lit up with a smile. He begins to tease you about your bunny rabbit slippers and you’re in the middle of pretending to be irked when you both run into Ernie Macmillan, a Hufflepuff prefect doing patrol duties.
“Hey,” Ernie offers you a friendly smile and gives Mattheo a brief, slightly nervous glance. While you prefer not to get into trouble for breaking curfew, Mattheo clearly couldn’t care less and his relaxed, yet intimidating stance must be off-putting to Ernie. Thankfully, you’re on friendly terms with the Hufflepuff and you give him an even brighter smile to make up for it, to which he beams at. “How was your summer?”
“Good, yeah! Erm, listen Ernie. We didn’t mean to be out at this time, it’s just that I accidentally had my brother’s uniform and needed to-”
“Oh, forget it. Don’t worry, I won’t dock you any points,” Ernie reassures you, waving off your excuses and you instantly relax. Ernie gives Mattheo another unsure glance before leaning in the tiniest bit closer to you. You try not to pay attention to how Ernie has been glancing at your legs and how Mattheo tenses up when Ernie starts speaking again. “I was actually wondering if you were available next weekend…?”
Ernie trails off when you don’t show any indication of replying straight away and you snap out of your surprise to say something, but Mattheo beats you to it.
“She’s busy then,” he says coldly, working his jaw. “Now, if you don’t mind, it’s late. Kindly get lost.”
“Wha- Matt!” you hiss, smacking his chest to which he barely flinches, nor does he look at all apologetic. “Ernie, I-”
“Never mind,” he says quickly, seemingly eager to just leave. “I’ll, er, see you later.”
You stand frozen in shock while Ernie rushes down the corridor and turns the corner, leaving you and Mattheo alone. Turning slowly, you look at him with barely contained anger.
“Why the hell did you do that?” you demand, voice sharp as nails. If it weren’t past curfew and you weren’t in the middle of a school corridor, you would most definitely be yelling. Mattheo stands with his hands in his pockets, clenching his jaw and his silence makes you even angrier. You accepted long ago that you’d never have a chance with him, but now he was getting in the way of you having a chance with anyone. It was completely unfair. “What if I actually wanted to go out with him?!”
Mattheo scowls at this, but his impossibly dark brown eyes flash with a hint of uncertainty. “Did you?”
“What?” you ask, impatient.
“Did you want to go out with him?” he says, voice low and dangerous. He walks forward, towering over you and you refuse to be intimidated so you start walking backward until your back is against the wall. Despite having cornered you, he maintains a fair amount of distance between you, leaving plenty of space if you want to move away. You don’t.
“That’s none of your business,” you say stubbornly, raising your chin and trying your best to keep your voice steady. Mattheo narrows his eyes and reduces the distance between you ever so slightly with another small step. You nervously keep talking. “I can go out with whoever I want.” Another step. “And you can’t just-” One more step. “Matt.” His shoes are flush with your slippers.
“What?” he whispers, tilting his head and looking at you calmly, while you feeling anything but calm. “I can’t just… what?”
The previously respectable distance has gone out the window and instead you barely have space to breathe with the way Mattheo is leaning in, head dipped toward you but never touching, hands resting on the wall either side of you. He leans in, eyes dropping to your lips and your heart leaps in your chest with anticipation, but he ghosts his lips over your jaw instead and the barely-there contact has you breathing unevenly.
“You can’t…” you exhale, trying to finish your sentence with some dignity and failing miserably. “You can’t just scare people off like an overprotective older brother.”
Mattheo stills, lifting his head enough to meet your eyes, but making no move to distance himself any further. He scoffs quietly. “Brother,” he says the word with a mildly disgusted scowl. “Is that what you think I want to be?”
“I- I don’t…”
“You don’t know,” Mattheo finishes for you, the corners of his mouth turning up, yet his expression is devoid of humour. “No, you don’t know how badly I wanted to hex Macmillan just now. How badly I wanted to try out some new, experimental spells on that fucking Ravenclaw earlier. But none of that had anything to do with brotherly feelings.”
“They were just being nice,” you say stupidly, with not a clue in the world as to why you’re defending them right now. If anything, you’re just confused.
Mattheo quirks a brow, tongue pressing against his cheek as he considers your words. “That Ravenclaw from earlier was talking about you on the train. He said he was going to ask you out at dinner because you’d ‘gotten hot’ over summer,” Mattheo sneers, like he’s suddenly regretting not hexing Michael Corner in the Great Hall. “They weren’t being nice.”
All of a sudden, you feel irritated because you have no idea why Mattheo is telling you any of this. “What’s wrong with a boy finding me attractive? Is that such a crazy idea?” you demand, part of you not wanting him to answer.
“Merlin, do I seriously have to say it?” he groans, sighing when you glare at him. Mattheo takes a breath, meeting your eyes and you marvel at the sincerity you see when he speaks. “You didn’t ‘get hot’ over the summer. You’ve always been beautiful and they’re idiots for not paying attention then.”
Your breath catches in your throat, whether it’s from emotion or from the close proximity with Mattheo, you aren’t sure. “You think I’m beautiful?”
Mattheo nods, leaning back in to brush his nose against your own, his breath mingling with yours. “Always have.”
You take this as a cue to grab the collar of his shirt and pull him in and the next thing you know, his mouth is firm against yours, and his hands are finally touching you, grabbing you by the waist and sliding up your back to hold you closer. You’ve thought about kissing Mattheo before, but the thoughts feel utterly stupid compared to the real thing. Mattheo kisses you fiercely, mouth sliding hot and wet against your own making you come alive and weakening you at the same time. He nips at your bottom lip and you gasp, causing him to smile into the kiss. Your hands are sliding up his chest to snake around his neck when a thought suddenly occurs to you and you pull away abruptly.
“Oh my God, Theodore,” you hiss, covering your mouth with your hand. Mattheo furrows his brows, looking a little dazed and confused. “What are we going to tell him?”
 “He knows I’ve loved you since we were kids,” Mattheo says flippantly, waving you off and impatiently starting to lean in again, but you stop him with a hand on his chest. “What?”
“You’ve loved me since we were kids?” The words hardly register, but before you can feel any sort of elation, you mostly feel pissed off that your brother has clearly had his fun with the situation for years. “And Theo knows?”
“Yes,” Mattheo says slowly, as if he were talking to a child. He brushes the hair out of your face and his gaze turns a little uncertain when he speaks. “Er, this is hopefully the part where you say you feel the same way.”
“Well, of course I feel the same way,” you huff, still thoroughly annoyed at Theo. “He knew I was crazily in love with you too and the bastard was so irritating about it!”
You’re about three quarters of the way down a list of ways you want to get back at your brother when Mattheo gently turns your face by the chin to look at him. “As much as I’d love for you to plot against your brother right now, it’s kind of a mood killer thinking about him when I’m kissing you.”
“Sorry, sorry. Continue with the kissing.”
“How romantic,” he says drily. His smirk turns smug, however, when he processes your previous statement. “So… you were in love with me too. What was the word you used, again? Crazily? Crazily in love…”
“Don’t make me take it back, ‘cause I swear I will.”
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© angelfic 2023.
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alastors-antlers · 4 months
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Why Alastor is good aroace rep after all, written by an aroace
Hello all! I just want to start off this post by saying that I'm one person who definitely doesn't speak for all aroaces, but I wanted to make a post on this anyway, and maybe some folk would be interested in hearing out another perspective?
I'm not really caught up on everything that's been said over the course of HH's creation - only more recent interviews, since I'm pretty new to the fandom. Apologies if I've missed anything, but also I do not have the time to keep up with all the out-of-canon-material backstory unfortunately. I'm working with what we've got here.
So here's the thing:
Alastor is cruel, he's narcissistic, he doesn't care about anyone except himself, he's a serial killer and a monster.
(That's the argument I've heard - please tell me if that's not really what people are going for lol, in which case I've totally misunderstood?)
The issue with aroace rep when it paints asexual people with those traits is that it aims to dehumanizes them. Sex and love are essential to the human experience, right? So why wouldn't someone be interested? Because they're self-absorbed, and cold, and detached. They don't have the capacity to love others enough to feel romance.
And sure, Alastor is a killer, and a schemer, and prideful, and a monster by hell's standards. But no matter how above it all and stylish and in control and provocative he wants to be, he's a very human character, and his aroace-ness never serves to add to his alienation. You could even say that it makes him seem even more personable.
That's what I think is the key difference.
why he's human
Alastor's whole persona is about control, and he basically straight-up says this. He's controlling what his enemies know, what his public image is like. His goal is to be the Radio Demon -- overlord of Hell, charismatic, Machiavellian, and undefeatable. He's not. Despite that smile plastered over his face (a powerful tool, huh) he's so expressive for someone who's constantly pretending.
You see his exasperation with the Egg Bois and with Charlie's ranting; his nervousness in front of Zestial; his frustration with Lucifer and the petty lengths he goes to to piss off the ruler of Hell.
You see his desperation, making that deal with Charlie. He's surprised by the idea of being vulnerable in front of an enemy like Adam, and so close to danger. He drops the radio filter and the affect out of fear, and runs on broadcast TV to let out panic and anger and bitterness in his hideout, where no one else can see him.
He has a smile that tells us he's genuinely happy to see someone; it's a little wider than his default. You see it with Mimzy's greeting, you see it with Rosie. Rosie, especially, serves to make Alastor more human to the audience. More on this later, but for now, I'm just saying that you can see that he at least seems to respect her greatly. Whatever bond they have, we know that he trusts her to touch him, to share history with him, and with support that he trusts no one else for.
He pretends, but he can't pretend it all away. Loads of these emotions aren't even advantageous for him to show. It isn't necessarily how the typical asexual psychopath acts; he's not emotionless or only capable of anger or brutality.
He's so full of emotion that it leaks through, despite all that he does to avoid it. He's not inhuman and aloof, not really - he's so, so human, even when he tries not to be because he thinks that'll be what keeps him above all the rest. In control, and free from his chains.
(If anyone wants to see images about all this, I'll make a separate post - just let me know.)
(I also have another post, talking about why Alastor is at least a little attached to the hotel's residents too, shown via conversation with Niffty. In what way? different question.)
how the aroace part contributes to that
Now, to be fair, we don't hear much about his aroaceness in canon. It's just not relevant a lot of the time.
In the pilot, Angel's proposition ruffles his feathers so much that Alastor blanks for a moment. It's a joke, sure, but that ace panic face is a pretty popular Alastor moment in the fandom - Alastor, thrown off-balance by a sex joke of all things, after so many years in Hell that he should probably be used to this.
It's a moment that makes him more approachable; his aroaceness shows him unprepared for something someone else does for one of the only real moments in the whole episode.
And the other part: the ace in the hole statement.
Rosie apparently knows Alastor so well that she read that he's aroace. That tells us about their relationship; namely, that it is long-standing and genuine enough that she gleaned a piece of real information from him. It's a casual fact that she knows about him before he even figured it out himself. It lends legitimacy to their bond - this bond that shows us a more comfortable and warm side of Alastor that we don't often see.
If their relationship is purely business, isn't this something pretty frivolous and personal? It's not like he has anything to gain by telling her about his life, but she learned about it somehow. How close are they? That's where it adds a layer of complexity and personality to his character..
thoughts on representation
Overall, Alastor's an interesting character who has a level of depth and care and personality (outside of cruelty) that asexual psychopath tropes lack. Again, the moments where he's being represented as disinterested in sex or romance don't make him seem detached. Again, they don't say "look how hostile toward relationships his behaviour is - how separate he is from our humanity". That's what bad villain ace rep is. That's not what the show's doing.
Also: I'm not saying that we need to lower our standards or anything, but even if you think it's not the best rep, I feel like we should be supporting HH's efforts here. I know that on Tumblr we have a pretty queer-friendly space going, which is honestly an understatement lol but
Aces are incredibly underrepresented in fiction. There's a whole Wikipedia page about asexual characters in media, and it's short as all hell, and even if you consider what's on there you see quite a number of one-off characters who are never mentioned again.
In terms of real life business - before the DSM updated their definition of hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) in 2013, identifying as asexual wasn't even a recognized thing. If you talked to a clinician about your lack of sexual desire, you could be diagnosed with a disorder. Only in the 5th edition do we now have a little exclusion footnote about it.
The concept of asexuality hasn't been explored nearly as much as other queer identities in our scientific research. We get crumbs in terms of mainstream representation and understanding. House M.D. has an episode where House "disproves" us because he's just so smart.
Alastor isn't going to be perfect representation. There's no such thing as perfect representation, and from the moment he was conceptualized, you could see how people would take him poorly. Still, I think he's a net positive.
He isn't a side character or a token ace - he's a core part of the show, whose personality and character motivations we can reasonably presume are going to be explored much more deeply in upcoming season(s). He's loved by the fandom. Right now, given what we know, I trust Vivziepop to write the aroace representation he deserves, because with the way I've heard the cast/directing/etc. talk about him, they're trying to do the aroace community justice, so I wish people would let up just a little on the whole "Alastor is bad rep".
Let's give him a chance, all right?
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sirenfromthelostcity · 4 months
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Snowed In [Modern! Mizu x Reader]
Recently i got snowed in at my job and in my sadness i got to thinking, huh what if this happened but in a good and romantic way? And most importantly, with Mizu. This is definitely very fluffy and cute but honestly i need it lol. This was also supposed to be posted way sooner but then i got the flu and that got me good y'all. Anyways i hope you all enjoy! <3 Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated, i would really like to hear what y'all thought of this and it really helps keep me motivated! <3
Also wanted to add I listened to Kali Uchis “Tu Corazon es Mio” to get into the cute mood 💕 y’all should give it a listen it’s a very sweet song.
Tagged: @extrasour2
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You were propped against the couch with a despondent look on your face as you watched the snow blanket the city. As a kid, snowy days were the best because school was cancelled and you got to go outside and play in the snow. But frankly the older you grew the more you realized how inconvenient snow can be.
Especially today.
"I'm sorry the snow ruined our plans," Mizi mumbled as she joined you on the couch.
You could hear the sad pout in her voice and couldn't help but chuckle.
"I know you are not apologizing for something that is completely out of your control," you turned to her.
"I guess I am," her shoulders jerked in a brief chuckle before turning back to you. "I just feel bad. I know you were really looking forward to tonight."
"Of course I was. I think we both would've really enjoyed the food but we can always make another reservation. Today is still our anniversary and that's what I'm most excited about," while still on the couch you started to crawl over to her. Mizu's eyes darted between your eyes and mouth the closer you approached and you didn't stop your prowl until you were almost towering her.
"Anywhere with you is exactly where I wanna be. Come rain or shine. For better or worse," you whispered as you leaned into her and her eyes fluttered closed as you gingerly trailed kisses around the regions of her eyes, nose, and cheeks. She released a breathy sigh as your lips teasingly hovered above hers, a space she desperately wanted to close. She felt your lips twitch into a smirk, you had her right where you wanted her and she knew it.
“Fucking brat,” she rasped against your lips and one quick motion she yanked your legs and sent you flying back onto the couch.
You yelped at the abrupt landing and laughed as Mizu quickly seized your neck with gentle bites and kisses.
"That tickles, that tickles!" you cried out.
She felt your laughter reverberate through your chest and couldn't help but laugh with you. Still chuckling, Mizu pulled back to look at you and the snarky comment she had planned got stuck in her throat when she saw you look back at her with so much love and adoration in your eyes.
Prior to you Mizu only had one serious relationship experience and it was a very bad one. She disclosed this to you from the very beginning but what she didn't disclose is that because of her bad experience she almost decided against seriously pursuing you. She just didn't think a person like you could actually love a or even find a genuine interest in someone like her.
"Hey," you tucked one of her loose hairs behind her ears, bringing her out of her thoughts and back to you. "What's going on up there?" you gently rubbed at her temple.
"Hmm?"
"You look all pensive, you okay?"
"Yeah I was just-" she sighed, trying to gather her thoughts. "I was thinking about when we first started going out. How I almost ruined us..."
"You didn't almost ruin us," you chuckled. "I mean, I could tell you were scared but from what you told me, what you've experienced, I understood it. Honestly I was kinda scared too."
"Really?"
"Mmhmm," you nodded.
"Why?"
"Because I had never liked anyone how I liked you. Every time we were together I could just feel myself falling for you more and more. It was like the more I learned about you the more I just liked you. It felt dangerous because I realized that you could really break my heart," you lightly laughed even though you were being completely serious.
Mizu caressed the side of your face, "I'd never do that. I'd never purposely do anything to hurt you. I've never been happier than I have been with you in these last three years. I love (Y/N), you mean so, so much to me."
"I love you too," your hand overlapped hers as she caressed your face and you gazed back into her lovestruck eyes. "I love you and every moment with you." You snaked your free hand behind her neck, gently guiding her lips to yours and Mizu happily complied.
The kiss is tender and soft as both pour your love for each other into it. You opened your mouth and Mizu took the bait, sliding her tongue in and she moaned as she reveled in the taste of you.
"Y'know I wouldn't mind spending the rest of our anniversary on this couch, or we could move to the bed if you want," she said as her lips trailed down your neck.
"The bed sounds lovely, however we do have to figure out what we're going do for dinner soon."
"I'm working on mine right now," she replied with a firm squeeze at your hips to which you laughed at her insinuation.
"Ha, funny but I said dinner not dessert- oh," you abruptly moaned as Mizu sucked on a particular sweet spot on your neck. "Fuck."
"My thoughts exactly," she grinned. Mizu gave you one last chaste kiss before getting off of you and you whined at the absence of her body against yours. “But I guess we do have to eat actual food eventually so…” she casually ambled towards your kitchen and opened the fridge, intently eyeing its contents. “We don’t have much but we have enough to make some pizzas. We even have some of the toppings you like.”
“Homemade pizza sounds fantastic,” you smiled to her. It didn’t take much to make you happy, especially with Mizu around. You rose from your spot on the couch and sauntered into Mizu’s arms, “But how about we visit the bed first real quick.”
At this Mizu gently laughed, “So impatient to get me into bed, huh?” Truly she loved that you wanted her as much as she wants you. But there was something she had to do first. “I’ll meet you there just give me two seconds okay?”
“Mmhmm,” you eagerly nodded. “Don’t make me wait too long.” You cooed as you walked towards your shared bedroom.
Mizu just stared at you adoringly as you disappeared into the bedroom. She then walked to one of the cabinets where she carefully hid a small blue box. She opened the box in her hand and stared into the diamond ring, grinning to herself. Quickly she pocketed the box, saving it for tonight.
There was a lot of things Mizu was unsure about but you were not one of them. Her love for you was unequivocal and when she thought of her future she couldn’t see one without you. She had thought long and hard about proposing, it was a big step but it was a milestone she knew she wanted to partake only once and only with you.
“Mizuuu….” You called out from the bedroom, bringing her back to the present.
“Coming, love,” she replied, finally making her way to you.
A/N: should I do a proposal scene y’all? 🤭 Ngl was kicking my feet in the air writing this lol I love fluff
Edit: Part 2!
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prettyboypistol · 4 months
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hi there!! I'm new here, and I really like your writing lol. There's not a whole male reader stuff in the tf2 fandom from what I've seen, like, at all, and you're writing is just- skandnsns *so* good-
Anyways, uh, I'm sorry if you're not taking requests right now, I only just found your blog about a month ago, but I wanted to send in smt if that's okay??
Anyways, I was wonderin' if you could write something with the mercs, with a reader who has a panic attack the first time they respawn?
Like, maybe their a recent recruit, and they somehow haven't died on the battlefield yet?? The feeling of dying is probably horrible, that moment of not being able to breath, before nothing, even after respawning, so maybe after the match they skink off by themselves, not even noticing how off their acting as they leave. Platonic or romantic is fine lol. Sorry if I worded this weird, or it's too long, I've never really requested smt before
Anyways, love your writing dude!!
First Respawn || TF2 Mercs x M!Reader
can be read as platonic or romantic
Context: You and another merc were actually doing pretty well together- since you were assigned to shadow the more experienced people to really figure out how to fight and travel efficiently. Both of you were caught off guard by an enemy Heavy, who killed you both.
Scout
Jeremy respawned with a fit of curses and a stretching routine, yammering on about how Heavys shouldn't be allowed to sneak around. Then, he looked over to you. You were frantically touching over your chest and legs, desperately searching for the wounds you just felt agonizingly rip you from life. Jeremy bit the inside of his cheek before he crouched down to where you were.
"Hey man, 's'all good. That's respawn for you! You can never die here!" Scout explained lightheartedly.
"I- I felt-" A wrapped finger pressed against your lips, followed by a look of understanding and underlying discomfort.
"Shh, I know. I can't stand it either, but you don't really have a choice. You either just don't die or you bite your tongue and power through, kay? If the bosslady sees us chit-chattin', we'll both be in trouble!" Jeremy pulled you to stand up and shoved your weapon into your arms. "We can talk about it later, I'm really sorry pal."
Soldier
You and Jane were quickly executed and brought back to spawn. For Soldier, it was just another death. It's not like it meant anything! He quickly gathered his weapon and charged out, only to return a few seconds later.
"ON YOUR FEET, PRIVATE! UNLESS THOSE LEGS ARE BROKEN, OUR COUNTRY EXPECTS US TO FIGHT!" He tried to encourage you.
"I just died!" You wheeze out, more shocked than anything. "I'm dead! I got killed! I-"
Soldier yanked you to your feet and dragged you out to the battle field again, much to your scrambled protests.
"TEUFORT IS ALL ABOUT DYING AND COMING BACK! WE CAN LIVE FOREVER HERE!"
From somewhere you can't quite make out, you hear your Medic start to shout: "We are not living forever! Just unkillable!"
Pyro
Pyro had never seen a reaction like that before for respawn. They had seen anger, frustration- well, mostly anger. They watched carefully as tears streamed down your eyes as you sunk to the ground. You seemed... shell shocked? It was hard to really see through the pink clouds and mishearing your sobs as baby's laughter, but Pyro could definitely tell that something was up.
They placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, then pat your head softly with a humming of an upbeat tune. You didn't know the Pyro well, but from what you had heard from Engie and Medic, this was a definite attempt to comfort you. With one last sniffle, Pyro pointed to the doors with an excited cheer. You knew you had a job to do and not enough time in the day to do it in.
Pyro kept you close and looked around a lot more once out on the field as they hid you from most people's sight.
Demoman
As much as you and Tavish were friends off the clock, he really could be too daft. You gasped as you respawned, coughing violently. Tavish turned to you with a confused expression, but realized immediately that- oh shit, that was your first respawn. Demoman pulled you close and cradled you tight with a murmuring for you to follow his deep breaths.
"Right-o, breeeeathe. In... Out... Good job, just deep breaths." Tavish sighed quietly as he led you out of the spawn room and to a more private location. "That's respawn. You can't die here- but it's a hell of a thing to get used to it is. Sit back and hide while you calm down. If anyone notices a dip in my killstreak, I'd get a paycut."
As asshole-ish as it was for him to leave you, you really understood. He had a mother to take care of, after all. At least he talked to you after in detail about the functions along with Engineer and Medic.
Heavy
Heavy immediately noticed the nervous shakes that wracked through your body as life seemed to be thrust back into your arms just as quickly as it was torn away. Mikhail sighed and patted your back- a little too roughly for your liking, but the height and power difference was most likely to blame for that.
"It is... not easy to start- jarring? Yes, jarring at start." Mikhail sympathizes. "Deep breathing, we won't let it happen again." He promised as he nudged Sasha towards you. All you could offer was a weak smile as tears forced themselves down your cheeks.
Heavy felt a pang of guilt for needing to go right back to work, especially when his charge was so broken up about literally dying (it was reasonable, after all.), but orders were orders and the mouths of his family couldn't be fed by wasting time. He kept you close as he refused to keep you out of his sight at all- protecting you from any further harm.
Engineer
"Dag-nabbit! Those big guys should- oh." Dell watched as you started to hyperventilate and quickly rushed you to the intel room for a bit more privacy.
"Here, we can set up a few sentries here. Hide under the desk while I'm gone, okay? I'll be right back son." Was all you really could hear as you scrambled over to the desk with shakes and sobs deafening you to the outside world. It felt like hours, but finally a warm presence enveloped you. Dell stroked your hair and shushed you softly as you worked through the thrill of revival.
"I bet that was a scare, huh? Don't you worry. Me and Medic worked extra hard on these machines. You're gonna be safe in my hands, son. Don't you worry one lil' bit."
Spy
He rolled his eyes as you tried to feel for the now-healed bullet wounds, but deep down, he knew that he did the exact same thing on his first respawn. Half heartedly, he offered you a cigarette.
"It takes your mind off it- are you allergic to cannabis?"
How the hell did he manage to smuggle marijuana into a military establishment?! Wasn't this one of the most secure bases of Mann. Co?! Nevertheless, in moreso an act of desperation rather than actual desire to smoke, you deeply inhaled the smoke... Only to cough so loud and violently that you accidentally made yourself throw up.
Your superior was not impressed at the sight.
"I'm never letting you smoke my cigarettes again."
Medic
Ludwig was just how you expected him to be as you crumpled to your knees. He bragged about his amazing invention in an attempt to comfort you. A gloved hand brushed over your chest at where the bullets were with a manic smile.
"See! No holes! Quite the genius invention, yes?" He hummed happily. "Now, I know the adrenaline is still in your veins from well- dying- but that is more of a boost for when you get back out on the field!"
"Boost?! Back Out?! Hell no!" You protested as you scrambled away from Ludwig. "I fucking died!"
He clicked his tongue with an unamused expression. "Only temporarily- I'd argue not at all! Your heart barely stopped!"
You decided to keep your emotions and arguments to yourself.
Sniper
"How the hell did the big guy even get into my nest? Probably broke the ladder climbin'- you alright?"
You clearly weren't.
"Awe shit, yeah. Probably your first time kickin' the bucket." He muttered, mostly to himself as he crouched down to speak to you at eye level.
"Don't be too frazzled, chickadee. It's not the Heavy's you'll be worrying about mostly when you stick with me. At least the other Spy is efficient about the backstabs. I barely even feel 'em half the time."
You knew he was trying to be comforting, but it really just... didn't work too well.
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cookii-moon · 3 months
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ok ok so. I had.i had this thought. And I think it’d be really funny but only in the right situations.
so imagine if Cole could feel vibrations through the earth, right? Since that makes sense, and a lot of animals can do that anyways. but he doesn’t clock it as a master of earth thing. So he thinks it’s just. Like that for everybody.
so imagine he’s like sneaking around with the group, and to them, they’re like, the stealthiest ever!!! But since they’re so close Cole can sort of “hear” the vibrations of their steps so he’s like what the heck guys youre not stealthy at all we’re gonna get our cover blown!!!!! Because. He thinks they’re being really noisy. But really it’s just him that can hear them.
And ofc the others would be sort of like. Dude. We’re not making a single sound!!!, because to them they’re being very quiet, and so it’s sort of shrugged off as just. A Cole thing.
but snakes can also feel vibrations. So when the serpentine come up, imagine if they can ALSO hear the ninja and are just like smh you’re not good at sneaking at all. And obviously they’re really upset about this but also Cole is just taking it as an opportunity to go “i told you so”, the ninja STILL can’t hear their own or eachothers footsteps so they have no clue what’s up, but whatever, we’ll trust Cole!!!!
AND THEN JAY GETS SERPENTINE’D. And for a short while he can ALSO hear vibrations. So he’s like. Really confused before he notices, like wow,,,, I guess I just wasn’t listening well before!!! And then he realizes he’s becoming a snake, but he doesn’t connect the two until he turns back and suddenly he can’t hear it at all, and so now he’s 100% convinced that actually he was always right and Cole was always wrong and that no that’s just a serpentine thing.
but see now he’s just confused as to why Cole can feel them, because at that point they aren’t aware that the elemental powers weren’t just their weapons, and Cole’s been feeling them since day 1, but the fangpyre only got released recently and Cole’s been perfectly normal for the entire time he’s known him so like, he’s definitely not bitten or anything, so now he’s trying to argue with Cole that, no, they’re not loud, they’re being very stealthy, that’s just a serpentine thing and APPARENTLY also a Cole thing, no he does not know how they’re connected, and ALSO that Cole was JUST as loud as the others and he knows that because he could feel Cole’s footsteps too for a short time so he has ZERO right to bother Jay about it.
And like eventually itd just descends into a feud between Cole and Jay on whether theyre good at sneaking or not and the others just. Don’t even know at this point. They can’t be bothered. And then obviously they’ve found out Zane is a nindroid, so he can measure seismic and acoustic sounds, so he’d literally be able to tell, except he couldn’t be bothered getting involved, so the entire argument goes on for several seasons, up until the point where Jay asks Zane to help them figure it out and he’s just like. No that’s just a Cole thing he’s just hearing seismic frequencies lol. And jays just like. “WELL WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US THAT EARLIER?????”
And like at this point they would know about their powers so Cole would be forced to admit that no, he wasn’t right, he can just hear seismic frequencies, and by some chance, the very first villains they faced were serpentine who can also hear seismic frequencies, but for completely unrelated reasons. But he doesn’t want to admit that he’s been wrong for several years, so instead he’s decided that actually he was technically right and they weren’t stealthy during the serpentine fighting era because the serpentine COULD feel the vibrations thus making them not stealthy.
the others have decided that this is the best they’re ever going to get.
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sophieinwonderland · 5 months
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Now, why would you dare me to embarrass you and your pals like that?
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I appreciate how you wanted my attention so bad you posted me to not one, but two subreddits.
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Makes a girl feel special! 🤣
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I have actually never seen Wikipedia cited as a source about endogenic plurality. Though I do see anti-endos all the time, when asked for sources, telling people to just Google things.
Anyway, here's @guardianssystem's document filled with academic papers about endogenic plurality:
I've compiled my own, but honestly, theirs is better organized than mine.
And in the interest of fairness, here are all the anti-endo papers debunking endogenic plurality:
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Sorry, I forgot. Those don't exist. Oops. 🤷‍♀️
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Echo chamber? LOL!
Weren't you the one spouting a bunch of lies on Tumblr, got totally debunked, posted the people who debunked you to r/systemscringe to have a hugbox where fakeclaimers could assure you how the people who contradicted you are all fakers, and then blocked everyone who disagreed with you?
Weren't you also the one who, when shown a quote from an expert in dissociative disorders who worked on the DSM-5 saying that a disorder isn't a disorder if it doesn't cause distress, argued that the people who defined what disorder are must be wrong about that definition?
You're a misinformation machine who can only find support when huddled in cringe subreddits. Don't try to talk about people in echo chambers.
Also, you know most of psychology is just... listening to people? That's how it's been as long as the field existed. DID (or MPD at the time) was a recognized disorder since long before the first brain scans were conducted on DID patients. It's saying something though when basically every single scientist who has ever researched endogenic plurality has said they believe it's a real thing, or that it could be. While absolutely zero academic papers have expressed that it's fake.
There is also an fMRI study into tulpa systems that's been in the works, but results have yet to be published.
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Sure, if that's what you'd like me to call you, Crazy. 😊
Anyway, Crazy, you should know that just because you personally find something scary doesn't mean everyone will or that the thing is bad. Personal preferences are a thing.
In a study of tulpamancers though, most generally reported their lives becoming better after the practice.
78% reported improvements in their mental health, and 91% on overall life.
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There are many out there who would jump at the chance to have someone there with them that knows them intimately, and to never have to be alone again.
If it's not for you, then so be it.
But it's certainly not something to be afraid of.
And maybe, for those who are willing to commit to the practice while America struggles with an epidemic of loneliness, it's something worth being open to.
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This is actually pretty fair.
But that's now, and I'm looking at course of history and trends of plural acceptance.
300 years ago, any plural would be viewed as demon possessed and end up tortured or killed for their plurality.
70 years ago, all plurality was seen as a mental illness, and it was common to force plurals, as well as anyone else associated with mental illnesses, into asylums.
30 years ago, the first real plural communities were able to connect on the internet and form in small numbers.
8 years ago, the first studies into endogenic plurality started being conducted. 4 years ago, the ICD-11 acknowledged that you could have multiple distinct personality states without a disorder. 2023 marked the first, but certainly not the last, time a system used their system name as an author of an academic paper.
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Recently, new plural resources have been designed and put into use. More servers than ever are using Pluralkit. And Simply Plural went from 100k users at the end of 2021 to 210k at the end of 2022.
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Progress is happening far more rapidly than you realize. And you had best be ready for it.
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BOO! 👻
Oh, hey, I just realized... this is literal pluralphobia!
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Liberté!
Egalité!
Fraternité!
And yes, The Future is Plural! 😜
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mushroomnoodles · 17 days
Note
Can we have an actualization on Spicywizardbetty Simon? like my man was ABOUT TO POP but he was just suspecting? was he waiting for Morri to kick to notice or what? Also, I think Betty kut think something is going on and prefers not to tell cuz you can't just ignore that bowling ball belly lol
tw/cw for sfw and non kink mpreg
some notes (this is not being passive aggressive, i reread this and worried it came across that way so sorry if it feels that way)
in simon's defense, his pregnancy is advancing in spurts that are more frequent (but subtle) than vanilla or normal wizardbetty simon's. he's been in bed a lot, eating a lot, not feeling great, and up until the last few growth spurts he assumed he was just gaining weight (although he did notice the abnormality of how his stomach felt)
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also, logically, how could he be pregnant? he hasn't had sex (or anything remotely like it) for over a thousand years, he's old and well out of his fertility window. he was actually feeling movement- somewhat frequently too, but he told himself it was probably his upset stomach, since he's been feeling bloated and experiencing nausea for the past four months.
it's been about six months since he had the weird meetup with GOLBetty and got dropped in spicy wizardbetty's universe, and he's more focused on trying to help betty than whatever is going on with his body, since she's clearly insane. but she yells at him whenever he gets out of bed so he's been mostly trying to talk to her (and pondering how to help her, what to say) when she brings him food or checks on him. he's trying to get her to talk more.
the other thing he does in his spare time is read, betty brings him books. anyways, the last spurt has him definitely convinced he has a tumor of some sort.
also, yeah, betty's noticed the bump.
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her protective instincts have gone through the roof and she's grown even more obsessed with keeping him safe, so when she isn't checking on him or making him food she's out and about, "defending her territory".
he feels different to her, but simon doesn't look or feel like he used to even before he came back (she thinks, anyways). she has a bit of trouble with physical continuity, especially with her wizard eyes. everyone looks a little weird to her. plus, he's usually under a blanket so he doesn't look quite as big as he is to her, but she's definitely made a comment on him enjoying her food. she hasn't seen the most recent advancement, where he like, definitely looks pregnant.
until he scampers out to see her in a tizzy immediately after he wakes up looking like he does.
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brother needs a hospital
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Text
Warmups #1 (Plus Charlastor!)
Turns out warmups really DO help in art (fuck me, right?) and these are all from yesterday and today, hope you enjoy it!
SCROLL TO END FOR TIMELAPSE <3
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Pretty much just Hazbin and some OCs of mine! (That's basically all I've been drawing the last month or two lol) I've also been reading way too much (not really, fight me) Charlastor/RadioBelle fics and consuming ALL the artwork. I might just be obsessed with Al in general though - *sigh* - before my Charlastor fixation it was RadioStatic/Silence. Anything with the Strawberry Pimp or Vox tbh. Fuck I'm just rambling about Hazbin, huh? uhhhh where was I? RIGHT here's the one and only reference I actively used besides glancing at some official Hazbin art:
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I saw it, and then immediately fell into a fit of laughter at the idea of drawing Charlie and Al like this. The whole drawing process made my cheeks hurt bc I was giggling over getting to make those two idiots be, well, adorable fucking idiots! XD
Anyways, here's the speedpaint!
Anatomy is so harrrrrd but I'm actually really proud of myself for how I did with this one, I'm still terrified of drawing the lower body but heyyyy, problem for another day!
OH I almost forgot to talk about my own characters a little?! Hyperfixation, what have you done to me?!!! We've got four of my babies here, all from the same project called Ashland Bites, which will hopefully, someday, be an animated series! I've been writing it for years and years (slow but steady, I'm a team of exactly one person lmao) and I've been trying to get my art skills honed so I can do as much of the (probably very distant, but hopefully someday) future pre-production work myself! I started learning more about animating recently, and the openness that Vivienne Medrano allows her cast and crew to have has been a godsend for learning more about the different steps of the process (all while feeding my ravenous little neurodivergent brain with that good good fixation content lmao)
Can't share too much about my own project at the mo, but let me just say it's got Vampires, the fair folk, godesses, ancient fantasy cultures, modern humans running around thinkin' the world is our definition of 'normal', and SO much more (I wish I could tell u all the things oh my GODDD)
Thanks for taking a look at my work *smooches ya*
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soberrsoon · 11 months
Note
Can you do a fic about Bill or Tom (doesn’t matter who because atp I can’t decide whether I’m a Bill girl or a Tom girl 😭) where both him and reader have been dreaming of eachother, but they’ve never met like ever. Like randomly they started having dreams of eachother, but the catch is, they’ve been dreaming WITH eachother. Then maybe one day they see eachother irl and both are in shock to find out that they’ve been dreaming with eachother
(Sorry if this doesn’t make sense 😭)
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T. KAULITZ x READER
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★ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you haven’t gotten much sleep lately since you’ve been dreaming about a mysterious boy.
★ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: alcohol, swearing
★ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: LOL i am definitely a tom girl but anyways sorry i’ve been busy y’all 😻 i have to do band stuff (yes im in band) speaking of which though… band camp is starting soon so im gonna be really busy unfortunately 😭 but send reqs and i’ll try to write as much as i can and get a lot posted before i leave and i also try to post during it as well!! ALSOOOO my birthday is tomorrow yippee 🥳
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you haven’t been able to sleep much recently, not ever since a mysterious bit appeared in your dreams. it was strange since you’ve never seen him before but you weren’t complaining since damn he was hot. your dreams with the boy were all very vivid, almost like they were real and you feel in control in those dreams, like it’s real life. you and the mysterious boy never speak in the dreams, usually you two would just enjoy each others company, amused by one another.
you wondered if that boy was real person dreaming just like you.
before you could overthink it though, you got up to get ready. you brushed you teeth, got changed and started making breakfast. you placed your food on the kitchen table before taking a seat and calling your friend liz. “can i come over later?” you asked her through the phone. “sure. i’m just picking breakfast right now, want some?” she asked. you looked down at your plate, deciding whether to eat at your place or abbi’s. “i’ll have some, see you later,” you said.
you packed your breakfast up put it in the fridge, making your way out the door to abbi’s house. since her place wasn’t that far, you would always walk over which took less that 15 minutes. when you finally got to her house, you decided to tell her all about your dreams with the mysterious hot boy. “okay so like the dreams are super vivid, but they’re just dreams,” you explained. “and the boy? do you know him?” she asked. “that’s the thing! i don’t know him, he’s like super mysterious,” you replied.
“well what does he look like?” she asked. you though about it entire giving your response. “well he has like dreadlocks, he wears baggy clothes and he has a lip piercing right here,” you explained, pointing to your lip. “he sounds totally hot,” abbi said sarcastically. “ugh you don’t get, i wud you could see him because he is totally hot,” you said. “yeah whatever,” she said.
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you guys continued eating your food before abbi started talking. “do you wanna go out tonight?” she asked. “i don’t know… i’m not really i’m the mood,” you replied. “well maybe you’ll find your dream boy,” she said. “oh you’re right, fine i’ll go but you’re paying for first round of shots,” you said laughing as abbi rolled her eyes. you guys decided to go out to run some errands before going back to your place to get ready.
you guys first went to the post office since abbi had to mail something. you waited outside since she’d be awhile and as you waited you noticed someone that caught your eye. it was a boy who looked exactly the one in your dreams but… different? you thought. this boy had spiky black hair instead of dirty blonde dreadlocks. he was inside a gift shop across from the post office. you quickly rushed into the post office to grab abbi’s attention.
“abbi! look! across the street, that boy with black hair, do you see him?” you asked. “yeah…? what’s wrong with him?” she asked. “he looks exactly like the boy in my dreams,” you said. abbi didn’t speak for a second. “wow, i’m sorry i doubted you then, that boy is hot,” she said. “i know right?!” you replied. “well what are you going to do?” she asked. “nothing i guess, i mean what can i do?” you replied. “you’re right, let’s just go back to your place now,” she replied.
you two took a taxi back to yours since it would’ve been a 30 minute walk. “maybe we will fine your dream boy tonight, i mean we basically saw his twin today,” abbi said. “maybe,” you replied, focused on your mascara. abbi was curling her hair and you were doing your makeup as you waited for her to finish. you two switched before both finishing. “you done?” she asked. “almost,” you said, putting your hoop earring in. “okay! now i’m done,”
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you guys took get another taxi to the club for a night out, hoping to find your dream boy or at least get drunk. the club was packed today, it’s not like it was the weekend so you weren’t sure why. as you two walked in you could tell the club was filed with girls, all in a crowd surrounding someone. you and abbi tried looking to see who it was but couldn’t push through the other girls. “is there a celebrity or something?” abbi asked. “i don’t know but let’s just go to the bar,” you replied. as you two left the crowd, you didn’t realize a pair of eyes following you.
you ordered your drink along with abbi and you guys started talking as you waited. “look around, do you see him?” you asked abbi. “i can’t tell this club is filled with girls,” she said. “yeah i wonder what that’s about,” you said as you looked at the crowd. your drinks arrived and you two started drinking, you both got shots. even though abbi could not hold alcohol she always insists on drinking and she was already drunk after her third shot.
she decided to walk around now, searching for a hookup and you decided to follow her. she laid eyes on a boy with curly brown hair and started making a move, you decided to leave her and go sit on a sofa. you sat around awkwardly now not knowing what to do until you locked eyes with familiar face. you couldn’t believe what you were seeing, it was the boy from your dreams. he had the dreadlocks and everything and he looked shocked to see you as well. you didn’t know if you should approach him or just leave it because what if he thinks you’re crazy?
you convinced yourself that you were seeing things and that the alcohol was kicking in so you went to the nearest bathroom you could find. you splashed your face with water before getting your phone out to text abbi about the encounter. you then prepared yourself and walked out.
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“hey,” you heard a male voice call from behind you as you slowly turned around. “hello?” you asked. it was the same boy you saw a few minutes ago. “this may sound weird but i’ve been seeing you in my dreams lately and i haven’t been able to sleep. i knew i had to approach y since this was such a coincidence,” he said and you were surprised that he was dreaming about you as well. “wow, oh my gosh. i’ve been dreaming about you too, i wasn’t sure you were real when i saw you but i haven’t been able to sleep recently either,” you replied.
“let me buy you a drink,” he said. you nodded and followed him to the bar. you guys got to talking more and you both realized you’ve been dreaming about the same thing. “do you think we’ve been dreaming together? i mean my dreams feel pretty vivid,” you said. “surprisingly this makes sense,” he replied. you guys instantly clicked after that. you found out that his name was tom and you told him about your encounter with his “look-a-like” which you now know as his twin bill.
once you both left the bar you started texting instead and of course you had to tell abbi all about it.
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urf1lterr · 1 year
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lovesick | pedro pascal [4]
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"and on this night and in this light i think im falling, im falling for you."
previous chapter: [3] series masterlist
summary: in which a 1975-obsessed film student accidentally falls in love with an older man she can't have.
pairing: actor!pedro x intern!reader
genre: acting world!au, big age-gap!, strangers to friends- maybe lovers?? au | angst, mature, awkward, love- eventually
word count: 10.6k
status: in progress
author's note: so sorry for the long wait! but i tried making this chapter longggg. i typically have my days off altogether and the rest of the week booked with work/school. i try to post many chapters within my short timeframe (bc im booked af) so pls expect another update soon after this one! sadly, it takes me around 8-10 hours to write one bc its hard to think lol. also, i don't want this to be too long of a series and kinda wanna connect the dots- slowly but surely, ya know? not edited.
"So, he just came knocking on your door at 6am?" Joon questioned, taking a sip of his smoothie soon afterwards. "I can't even wake up that early."
"We had to do that everyday for our last job."
"I woke up ten minutes before I had to be out the door," he shrugged. "Men get ready fast."
"Anyway," you eyed him as he cluelessly did the same, confused as to why you wouldn't look away. "I don't remember him coming."
"Yeah, because you fucking freaked out and hallucinated over Lady Gaga," Jules exclaimed, you automatically cringing just at the horrible memories you've recently faced with that damn cat.
Once she explained what had happened hours after you had woken up, you were disturbingly shocked.
And the fact that your sleepiness was to blame had you going insane- imagine all the other odd things you may had committed while under the covers.
But you will admit you did remember some of that night's events clearly, again like you practically making out with Lady Gaga- although she was the one who licked your face endlessly first.
Mortified just by the thoughts, you will never be able to face Pedro again sanely.
How could you when you recently dreamed about a man 25 years older being intimate with you- that's...confusing. And the worst part of it all was you couldn't say anything to anyone with the fear of being judged or laughed at- maybe both.
The thing was you couldn't quite understand why you had to dream about that. Maybe your time of the month was coming and your hormones targeted the first guy you had nonstop contact with?
No, that would've been Joon.
Attraction may had played a part but Joon definitely had that, Pedro as well but a little different...age-wise at least. There's no way you felt allured for men with bad jokes and rough skin- no offense. Right?
He did text you that same morning he dropped by and commented on how creepy you are half asleep and whether or not you agreed to his 'business' proposal. Not trying to start a conversation you knew you couldn't finish, out of second-hand shame, you just replied a simple:
LOL but busy with school atm to make a final decision- tell ya later
That later still hasn't arrived.
Unfortunately, you forgot to ask him why he made a random visit that morning- but you weren't going to ask him days later. In your mind, you need to avoid him. There's no way you'd be able to act normal after have unholy fascinations about him.
Not that it'll be a problem, you two hadn't seen each other for weeks before your cafe encounter, you're sure you can do it again without him noticing your distance.
It's been about two days since then which meant you didn't have to prioritize so much of your time on homework, you'll just save that for Sunday when it's all due.
"Did you bother to ask him why?" Jules added, turning to you. "He obviously wasn't coming to see me- I barely know the guy."
"You do know him!" you argue as she rolls her eyes. "You literally got mad at me for not recognizing him the first time we met."
"He's a celebrity- everybody knows him," she defends before tilting her head in curiosity. "But you two are oddly close, it's kind of weird."
"No," you shake your head, trying to laugh off her suspicions. "We are casual friends who fan girl over the same things."
People did take notice how close Pedro and you were but it wasn't anybody's fault you two had so much in common. Both of you loved Starbucks, going on hikes- when you weren't lazy, and believe Matt Healy is extremely attractive.
If they have a problem with that they can sue you.
"I see it," Joon adds, jumping up a bit. "Him and I barely talk and we're men- we should be bonding easily!"
"You're...you," Jules cringes, making Joon glare in return. "I can understand why he chooses not to be close to you."
Laughing, you watch as Joon quickly flips her the finger before he continues on with the conversation. "I just feel like he always comes around only to see you, it was pretty obvious since the first time he took us home."
Furrowing your eyebrows, you didn't understand what he meant by that. Pedro offered all three of you a ride home, not just you.
Already feeling done with this topic, you wanted to switch it before things started escalating and freaky theories started unfolding. They had every right to question your friendship, but you were starting to think they might be leading down a road where they may soon develop other impressions as to what your friendship might have been.
Why are you even thinking that? That's so inappropriate to imagine.
"You two are silly, he probably needed my advice on something or wanted to workout," you suggest, their faces showing they weren't fully convinced. "But anywho, did you call Yoongi yet?"
"I don't think that's a great idea," Joon declared, adjusting in your warm sofa. "He's not really a skating kind of guy."
Since it was Friday and you had no plans, you thought it would be a fun idea to be adventurous for once and do something you would never do on a regular basis.
Ice Skate.
Your friends were extremely down with the idea, but you needed a fourth person to make the group complete. Why not a skinny, impatient blonde man who would probably spend the whole night complaining about why this plan was awful?
Right now you could use some other grumpiness in your life.
"Just tell him to go," you beam back, clapping your hands in excitement as you'll soon be able to fall countless of times on the ice. "I'll buy him hot cocoa."
"You better do it or he'll never let that go," Joon states.
After hours of sitting around and blasting random music through your speakers, the three of you were ready to set off on your journey of locating the ice rink.
If it wasn't for Joon's constant whining to stop walking to take pictures of the scenery you probably would've arrived 15 minutes sooner than your actual arrival, but too bad your friend is a nature freak.
"You taking pictures of the pigeons better not be the reason why you're late," you heard Yoongi grumble as the three of you finally found him sitting on a bench near the entrance of the rink, staring directly at Joon who just scoffed.
"I'm sorry if my happiness bothers you," Joon snapped back as Yoongi just stood up from his seat and made his way to your trio.
Grabbing your ice skates wasn't too difficult as the long line seemed to flow by smoothly, but standing on them was a different story.
"I can't do this," you squeal as your hurriedly motion your arms around to find some balance. "I'm falling!"
Yoongi sent you a questionable look as he watched your poor attempts to stay still embarrassing. "We're not even on the ice yet."
Feeling a hand grab a hold on your shoulders and practically drag your feet towards the ice, you glance up to see Jules steadily directing you to face your fears.
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
"Are you going to push her in?!" you hear Joon gasp a few feet behind you but you couldn't turn your head as you rather focused your attention on yanking yourself off of Jules.
"It was her idea so she'll be the one going in first."
"Ahh!" you screech, putting all your pressure on your feet to stop her hard pull. Spiraling your ankles in the most crucial ways, you start to lightly slap her arms off you as she continues to fight them off.
One thing about her was she's going to make sure to remind you that this was your idea.
Feeling an arm gently tug you off her grip, you landed on Yoongi's side as Jules whined in return, offended that he ruined her vicious plan. Respectfully, he kept you stable with an arm wrapped behind your middle back as you gripped his other one, fearful she might snatch you away again.
"Why would you do that?!"
"I don't think watching her fall face first on the hard ice would be a fun sight to see," he bluntly returned as Jules huffed. "The sight of blood gives me the ick."
"I was waiting for that moment all afternoon," Jules sighed, disappointed that she wouldn't be seeing you fall- yet.
Waiting for her to walk away to go on the ice, you see Joon follow her before you released your friend, relieved that she wouldn't be partaking in her scandalous scheme just yet.
"You do know how to skate, right?" Yoongi asked, his uncertain eyes on yours as you crazily wave your arms in front of him to rub off his questionable thoughts.
"Do I? Of course I do!" you argue, making your way towards the ice until you were two feet away from it. Putting your feet on the edge, you hesitate as you could feel the cold breeze wrap around you legs. "I'm gonna go now."
"Yippy," he states, waiting at your poor attempts to convince him.
Giving him a thumbs up, you clap your hands together to try to reassure yourself that you could do this, forgetting that he was right behind you secretly laughing.
Taking one final breath, you placed your right foot on top of the ice steadily, trying your best not to make any harsh movements, until you felt a hard jerk on your upper body, making you lose yourself in an instant.
"God, if you don't know how to skate why would you suggest it?" Yoongi grumbled, gliding both your bodies along the ice as he held tightly onto your arms. You were practically skating like a wet dog in front of him, begging with your eyes for him not to abandon you.
"I always wanted to try."
Sending you an annoyed look, you zipped your mouth as his arms were now securing you, closing any gaps there may have been and giving you the ride of your life.
Shutting your eyes harshly, you didn't dare to witness the environment around as you felt the icy wind slap your face the faster you two- or at least by Yoongi's swaying, got.
There were times where he did pretend to lose his balance, causing you to cry in horror and him immediately placing his hand over your mouth by how loud you weaped.
But other than that, you came to enjoy his help as your two other friends rudely abandoned you guys in order to practice their poor attempts of leaping across the rink.
"Okay," Yoongi started, releasing his left hand from your side and keeping you close with only his other. "Now you try on your own."
Fear creeping up in your face, you rapidly shake your head in disagreement and try catching his recent abandoned arm, which he denied. "I can't."
"Can't or won't?" he countered back making you silent.
He did have a point.
"C'mon, it's not that hard. If Joon could do it, you can."
"He's literally on the ground right now," you whine as Yoongi quickly averts his eyes in search of your tall friend, soon finding Joon clutching his knee in pain as Jules records on her phone.
"No."
Sighing, he continues to look around, trying to plan out an idea that would at least convince you to slide a few feet alone without his help until he smirked and met your eyes.
"What would Matt Healy do?"
Widening your eyes, you were taken back by his question.
Only Pedro used that line on you.
And for some reason it felt odd when Yoongi did the same. You shouldn't be bothered by his choice of words...but you were a little.
He wasn't him to be saying it.
"He wouldn't force me to do something I didn't want to do," you reply back, causing him to groan.
"I feel like you just want to be in my arms," he retorted with a grin, immediately making you revolt and fly out of his arms, your bottom hitting the ice hard. "Well that's one way to make you skate."
Feeling immediate pain on the back of your thighs, you just knew you were going to be bruised and swollen the next day. But hey, this technically counts for your workout for the week.
Awkwardly swaying your body around, you couldn't get up off the damn ice. You were sure you looked like a fish out of water by how crazy you were moving.
"Get on your knees," Yoongi commented, causing you to send him a death glare as he lifted his hands up in defense. "It helps you stand."
Or he could just grab your arms and help you himself.
Cautiously following his suggestion, you slowly pull your right leg up and place it firmly on the ice before slowly trying to do so with your left one. As you began to feel satisfied with the weight being supported, you felt your body finally working and lifting up off the ground before he poked your shoulder- making you fall again.
"I'm going to murder you!" you threaten as you stare at him on your back, whole body restlessly laying on the ground in misery as he cackles loudly.
He may have advantage on the ice, but oh man- once you regain your balance off it you were going to end that slender man's life.
"Isn't this just a sight to see," you heard someone exclaim before hands grab your arms and soon lift you back on your feet.
Moving your eyes to the ones in front of you, you burst out in smiles. "Bella! Nico!"
"I take this as my queue to leave,'" you hear Yoongi mumbles but you swiftly grab his arm from his close proximity and halt his plans.
He was not going to desert you now.
"What are you girls doing here?"
Not seeing them for a few weeks didn't make things awkward, but different. It was like catching up with old friends, even though you barely met them less than three months ago.
"Had nothing to do tonight so why not ice skate?" Nico giggled.
Bella examined you up and down before pointing at your head. "My god, your hair grew so long. Has it really been that long?"
Rolling your eyes, you were about to answer her before Yoongi cut in. "No, it's her fake extenstions."
Gasping, you turn your body to him and smack his shoulder as he smacks you back. One thing about him, he's all about equality. You touch him, he touches you- simple.
You don't see the way Nico and Bella exchange smirks to one another before Nico slides in front of you and pulls out her phone. "We should take a selfie! You know, for memories."
Laughing, you agree. You took some pictures with them but never really out of the work environment.
Uncomfortably standing still, Yoongi hastily moves to the side a bit, not wanting to intrude this moment you were having with your friends. He was a pretty sociable person, but only if they had things in common and he fairly knew them.
Yoongi didn't know these two young girls and he sure as hell didn't want to be the one being kicked out of this picture- so why not kick himself out first?
"Where are you going, we need your long arm to get us all in the frame!" Bella exclaimed, motioning Yoongi to move back as he sent her a flustered glance.
"I can just take it with the three of you."
"Nonsense!" Nico argued back, shaking her head as you giggled. "We don't leave people out."
Biting his bottom lip a bit, he scratches the back of his neck swiftly before increasing the speed of his skates to the girl, accepting her phone. "I suppose."
Fixing your posture, you stand behind your friend as he carefully raises his right arm up in the air, positioning the phone that was able to capture all four of you in the frame.
Pulling out the gummiest smile, you bursted out a gigantic grin after seeing the rare radiant expression Yoongi was giving. He was never one to show much emotion so finding him giving in for a picture amused you.
Taking the phone out of his hands, Bella examined the screen before chuckling. "Wow, you've got one adorable smile."
You could've sworn you saw Yoongi blush as he lowered his head while shaking off her compliment, trying to act natural but he wasn't fooling anyone.
He was shy.
Gasping at the sight in front of her, Nico pointed at the concession cart near one of the exits of the ice. "They have hot cocoa! We must get some."
Faking a groan, Bella allowed her friend to drag her away but not before sending you a pout to follow, which you were happy to do. You were freezing to death without even realizing it until you stopped your attempts to skate for the picture.
"I was promised a free cup," Yoongi stated as he was gliding behind you, softly pushing your back as you proceeded to do nothing but allow him to direct you to where your desired hot cocoa was.
Scoffing a little, you shush him as you reached the exit ramp. Jumping off, the two of you slowly waddled to Bella and Nico who were next in line.
"Wait," you start, pausing your footsteps which resulted in him almost falling after slamming to your side. "Shouldn't we ask Joon and Jules if they want one?"
Peeking over your shoulder, Yoongi looks back down to you. "Nah, don't wanna ruin their fun."
Following his recent glance, you could see Joon and Jules in front of one another, both holding hands as they try to catch a faster pace while twirling in big circles.
You were sure they were eventually going to knock a small child over soon.
"Next," you hear the worker call out, sitting behind his register waiting for your arrival.
Quickly walking up, you place your order as nothing else but the hot drinks seemed to interest you. The total came out to be the cost as what four drinks at your local cafe would be, but you shouldn't be surprised since this place was pretty popular to the public.
Pulling out his wallet so fast, you didn't have to process what Yoongi was doing until you caught the view of his credit card as he handed it over to the man in front of you.
"No-" you try intercepting what had just happened by giving your card to the worker who just shrugged as he had already paid for the drinks on Yoongi's card. "Why would you do that?"
"You're too slow," Yoongi bluntly said as he grabbed the two drinks and moved to the side so the next person in line could place their order.
"But it hadn't even been three seconds since he said the total before you handed him the card," you protest.
He handed you your cup, hoping it'll shut you up as he took a small sip from his own. "And?"
Is he being serious? "'And,'" you question as he continued to be unaware as to what you were getting at. "Since the beginning I vowed to buy you hot cocoa."
Yoongi laughed at how stubborn you were becoming. "Vowed? What a great word choice for this scenario, fiance."
Rolling your eyes at his teasing, you hated the fact he was avoiding your question. You knew he did it because he wanted to be a gentleman, but the problem was he didn't want to admit he was one.
Again, he was being shy.
"I see you are kind," you smirk as he gave you a disgusted glance. "Don't worry, I won't tell people you have a heart."
Before he could leave a snarky comeback, Nico and Bella came back in giggles as Yoongi retreated back to his natural state of looking lifeless. "Oh my gosh- we went to get napkins and I kid you not I may have poured my drink on the back of this poor little girl."
Lightly gasping, you widen your eyes as Yoongi confusingly replies back. "May have? You don't know if you did or not?"
Bella makes an accountable face, scrunching her nose in the process. "Okay, I did. But she's the one who ran into me!"
"Well, she was really small and you kind of didn't search your surroundings before kneeing her," Nico exposed, causing Yoongi and you to give each other a concerned look.
"You kneed her?!"
"Only in her side," Bella excused herself, sending Nico a betrayed look. "It wasn't like it was her stomach."
"It practically was...," Nico mumbled but became silent when her co-star eyed her hard.
Coughing uncomfortably, Yoongi caught everyone's attention as he tried to avert the conversation into something that wasn't as horrific as striking a child with hot cocoa and a knee. "We should probably hit the ice again soon before Jules and Joon find out we got these drinks without them."
"Jules is here?!" Bella beamed, searching around for her through the large gatherings of people on the ice. "I missed that crazy lady, she was the only one who would get my coffee order right."
"She told me she would threaten to get the baristas fired if they kept getting it wrong," Nico recalled, chewing her mouth a little. "That's why I stopped letting her take my orders."
Sighing, you looked up in the ceiling in disapproval as you could feel Yoongi laughing his ass off beside you. That was very Jules of her to do.
After another two hours of trying to figure out how to skate, and basically latching onto Yoongi the whole time as Bella and Nico were doing laps around you guys, you finally made it home.
To say you were exhausted would be an understatement- you were drained.
No, seriously. You hadn't worked out this much since Jules and you almost missed the subway two months ago and had to run three blocks to catch it on time.
That day was dreadful, but you were sure if you went to bed you were going to wake up lifeless like a worm.
"I call the shower first!" you hear Jules scream, running to her room in order to grab her belongings but you were faster and instantly made your way to the bathroom, locking the door before she could break in. "You bitch! How dare you steal it with my back turned!"
Grinning evilly to yourself, you wanted to get your night routines over with so you could hit the pillows quickly. Even after taking off all your makeup, taking a very steamy shower, and doing your nightly skin care routine, you were sure you could easily knock out sitting on the toilet if you had the chance.
We all have done it once in our lives.
Opening the door, the steam flows out smoothly as you face your very displeased roommate on the other side, glaring at you. "All yours," you smile, stepping to the side but she roughly pushes you in response, causing you to yelp as you manage to catch your balance midway.
Mental note, burn her eggs next breakfast.
Stepping into your room, you change into an oversized hoodie and sweats before throwing yourself under your covers in excitement.
The moment you've been waiting for all day: sleep.
Closing your eyes, you feel all your senses slowly drifting away from your body as relaxation crept up from all around. It was truly intoxicating how in trance you were.
But of course with your luck, nothing goes as planned- ever.
Wildly jumping up from the loud blaring of your phone, you cover your face in agony as the vibrations and noise cause pain throughout your entire body.
Who the hell was calling you at 10 o'clock at night? This should be illegal.
After taking a minute to control yourself, the ringing stopped. Good, now you won't have to make time to engage in a conversation. Quickly falling back down onto your pillows, it wasn't even ten seconds later before you feel your phone going off like crazy again.
With you eyes shut, you move your hands around your bed until you feel the cool object underneath your pillow. Lazily pressing any button, without batting one eye open, you move the phone to your ear before releasing a groggy, "What?"
"What a lovely way to greet somebody, kiddo."
You instantly freeze, automatically thinking about the vivid dream you had about him, then Lady Gaga, and felt a blush creeping in.
Slowly pulling the phone away, you let out a loud but fast scream before moving it back. How the hell are you going to begin a conversation without thinking about his lips on yours. "What do you want?"
Pausing for a second, you can hear him move around through his end. "Did you just scream?"
It's not like you didn't just dream about him kissing all over your body two nights ago.
"Did you just wake me up to ask me the obvious answer?"
Act like you don't care. Like you are perfectly fine.
He chuckles lightly and you can tell by his tone he was close to passing out too. "Somebody's cranky, is it past your bedtime?" Pedro teased.
You were definitely not in the mood to handle his ridicules at this hour, especially by how nervous he was slowly making you. What did he want?
"Yes," you simply reply before hitting the red button, ending the call and laying your head back on your pillow. Good, just end it before you make a bigger fool out of yourself.
It hadn't even been another ten seconds before your phone was ringing once again. Pulling it up to your face, you let out a huff. What a shocker, it was him again.
"You better have an insanely good reason as to why you chose to wake me up in the middle of my dream," you immediately say as you press the 'accept' button.
Hearing him laugh, you just know he has a sarcastic comment coming any second. "Wake you up? Honey, you're still living your dream talking to me."
Honey.
No, not another nickname for him to call you in future dreams.
Shaking that thought away, you rejected the idea of him being in any more dreams- you forbid it.
Loss at words for a second, you almost let your next words trip over one another before calmly gaining your composure at the incidental choice of your pet name.
"So funny," you reply back, trying your best to sound sane. "Pretty sure I was dreaming of a very shirtless Matt Healy playing 'Please Be Naked' to me."
Why the fuck would you slip that out.
"Are you trying to hint at something?" he smirks, making you press mute and hold your hand over your mouth to hold back the screams you feared would release.
Feeling like your soul was about to leave your body, you couldn't believe he just said that.
Actually, you couldn't believe you would even recommend that song. God, your sleepiness was messing with your mind.
Finding your energy once again, you unmute the call and try to seem unfazed by his last comment. "Yes, that I want to sleep. Goodbye now."
Before you could hit the red button again, you could hear him chanting over the phone to do the exact opposite. "Don't!"
Groaning, you clutch the phone harder in despair. "I am so tired. Don't do this to me, please. I am a girl who values her sleep!" you whine as you hear him continue his light giggles in the background. "If I don't sleep I will die, is this what you want. Are you trying to kill me?"
"I can reassure you I don't plan on keeping you up long," he explains. "And I wouldn't dare wish for your death."
Your heart fluttering, you glare at your chest. "Then what do you want?"
Moving his phone from one ear to the other, he lays in his bed while smiling at his ceiling. "You," he declares, making you widen your eyes as he shuffles around in his blanket. "Tomorrow, let's hang out."
Sitting up against your bed frame, you furrow your brow. "Hang out? For what?" There's no way you will be able to act normal for a long period of time, your weak-self can't do it.
Placing a hand over his chest, he lets out a light hiss in fake hurt by your comeback before continuing. "Can't I hang out with you by choice and not by a work schedule? Unless you're so disgusted by me." That's when he started his fake cries. "I'm so sorry I am not Matt Healy and can't do a great British accent."
Shaking your head, you try to intervene as his ugly cries become louder through the line. "That's not what I meant, stop being dramatic," you complain as he instantly stops while smiling widely. "Is there a specific reason why you want to hang out?"
Taking a deep breath, he fiddles with the fingers on his non-occupied hand. "Does there need to be a reason?"
You pause for a second. He's acting too kind for your liking and it's making you question what his intentions are. In this point of time, you're sure he's going to take that moment to convince you to work with him in Canada.
"With you there's always a reason."
Scoffing lightly, he grumbles. "I just want to go on a hike and need a hiking partner."
Oh hell no, you already did enough working out this evening. You were not about to do that again, that's for sure.
"Yeah, nooo," you exhale lowly. "I already did too much working out with my body if you know what I mean and-"
"I don't know what that means," he cuts you off.
"It means I am going to be sore for days so my body has no strength to walk for more than five minutes," you declare as he falls silent.
After a few seconds that felt like forever, he replies. "Fine," he blankly states. "Have a goodnight, sweetheart."
The warmth as blood began drawing to your face became present as you quickly reply with a simple "night" before ending the call. And for some reason you felt as if you couldn't breathe normally by the pounding on your chest.
What the hell was happening to you. Looking up at the ceiling, you silently pray you don't have a Lady Gaga 2.0 fiasco.
As you were questioning why your heart made you feel as if you were going under cardiac arrest the night before, your body was currently making you feel if you really needed to make that trip to the ER by how tender you were.
It also didn't help that Jules was the one waking you up at the crack of dawn, half asleep with her eye mask clinging onto her forehead.
"W-why are you-" you grumble, rubbing your eyes as you look at the alarm clock near your bedside. "-waking me up at 6:18am? It's Saturday."
She sent you a death glare for assuming she randomly wanted to wake you up for the fun of it as she was the one who was woken up first. "Someone's here for you."
Positioning your body upwards, you squint your eyes up at her. "What are you talking about?"
"Why don't you take a look for yourself," she gritted her teeth, swaying her head towards your door.
Slowly standing up, you make your way to it before sneaking a peak of the view of your living room. That's when you see a very annoying man you were sure you both agreed on the phone last night to not go hiking.
Luckily, he didn't notice your wandering eyes as his were glued to his phone, scrolling through his social media.
What was he doing here? You can't face him without thinking about his body wrapped around yours and his lips doing dangerous things.
Oh no, you truly were screwed.
Lightly shutting your door, you nervously turn back to your roommate who looks displeased. "I told him no."
"No means yes, I guess," she replies, snaking her arms around her body for warmth. "I'm going back to bed."
You could hear her walk out of your room as you frantically begin searching for something warm yet comfortable clothes to wear on this undesired hike. You knew if you tried backing out he would stay until you caved, he was very persistent to get what he wanted.
And what he wanted was for you to get your ass up and exercise.
You were also certain you heard Jules let out a "thanks for the invite" to him before hearing her bedroom door shut.
Running out of your room, you made sure not to look in his direction so he wouldn't see your morning appearance clearly- well he already has but why reveal yourself in this state again?
Quickly brushing your hair, teeth, and washing your face, you change into a baggy green sweatshirt and some black workout leggings before slipping on suited running shoes.
Try to act natural. Give him little attention so he won't speculate anything. You aren't into old men and did not vision him smooching you on your sofa.
"You are so buying me breakfast," you deadpan as you walked straight out of your door, not even daring to wait for him to follow.
Good, be straightforward.
Laughing to himself, Pedro promptly jumped off the couch and jogged after you once you shut the door on him and continued down the halls to the elevators.
Finally catching up, he barely made it through the elevator doors as they were closing to find you leaning against the corner, mad and tired. "Good morning to you, too."
You let out a small cry as you lay your head against the wall in pain from how frustratingly exhausted you were. If one cold breeze hit you outside you were sure you were going to burst into tears.
"Oh, come one," he walks over to you and nudged your shoulder to wake up some more. If he unexpectedly touched you again you were sure you were going to rip his arm off. "In a few minutes you'll be wide awake and fine."
"How dare you assume I'm going to be fine!" you whine, trying to hit his side but he manages to capture your arm and that's when you give up and allow your worn out body to fall on him.
He instantly wraps his arms around you as your head falls just beneath his chin, your eyes slowly closing and your thoughts drifting away as his warmth was making you drowsy.
You tried to stay focus, but your poor state was taking over and you suddenly weren't as anxious as you once were. Being sleepy really made your mind roam.
"Hey, now," he whispers and looks down to see you snuggling up against him. "You can't fall asleep on me. I do not want your security guards thinking I drugged you."
Tightening your arms on how lower sides, you ignore him as you feel yourself easing closer to dozing off by the constant beating of his heart. "Stop," you mumble, clutching your ears softly before positioning your head on the other side of his chest.
"What?" he curiously glances down at you.
"You heartbeat's annoying me," you lightly whine. "It's pounding against my ears."
Pedro was extremely glad you were too tired to process his heartbeat and the bright red tint plastered across his face. Your drained-self definitely saved him from embarrassment.
Finally, the elevator doors opened and you still weren't moving. You were too comfortable to make any effort to walk on your own and if he really wanted you to hang out this morning then he was going to have to find a way to make you move.
And to him, dragging you was his best option yet. But with care.
Delicately keeping his arms secured around you, he gradually walked out with you still engulfed by him, eyes shut and only moving your feet with his pace.
Honestly, you were surprised how much rhythm you had.
Stopping to pull out his car keys, he unlocked his car and opened his passenger side door once you two reached the garage complex. Gently, laying you on the seat, you station you head against the headrest as he buckled you in. "God, I really hope security doesn't report me."
And once he made it to his side and hopped in, he laughed at the state you were in, head instantly bent to your side and legs tangled together in hope to create some kind of warmth. "Adorable."
But of course you were too dumb to not catch that.
You were awoken by a small speed bump and the instant hit of warmth through the heat vents, your eyes slowly glancing around your surroundings. Taking a quick peep at the screen indicating the time, you read that it was almost 7am.
Tilting your head and leaning against the headrest, you lazily stare at Pedro as he continues to drive to god knows where.
"Don't I look so handsome in the morning?" he jokes before meeting your eyes, sending you a warm grin.
And handsome on top of you.
Shutting your eyes tightly, you beg your imagination to please shut the fuck up.
"You mean drastic," you mutter, moving your head to the opposite side, against the window to force some sleep again.
Better to make time fly by faster knocking out where you were sure you wouldn't say anything stupid.
"Hey, no..." he whines, moving his right arm across to shake your chin softly to keep you conscious. "Don't pass out on me again, I'm lonely."
"And I'm tired, deal with it."
Shuffling in his seat, he looks over to see you curling yourself up in a ball with your legs to your knees and arms wrapped around. Not thinking things throughly, he hits the brakes hard for a split second and watches as your body jolts forward before swinging back against his seat.
"What the fuck!" you shriek, propping your body up and facing him in pure rage. "Are you trying to irritate me?!"
"I'm lonely and you're not helping," Pedro calmly states, shrugging as you continue your daggers his way.
You were beyond pissed. How could he think you would be energetic and talkative right now? How could he attempt to make you fly out the window? You could feel your nerves slowly fading away by the fury growing inside you.
If he wanted you awake then fine, you were going to be awake.
Doesn't mean you had to talk though.
Silently sitting up, you stare at the windshield in front of you and watch the cars drive as he continues to spare you a glance every once in a while.
Honestly, your silence was terrifying the fuck out of him. Normally, you would have some snarky comeback or violent punch to return to his evil tactics, but you were doing nothing.
Literally nothing.
And he knows damn well the sights of trees and cars did not interest you.
"Hey...," you feel Pedro lightly poke your side, pursing his lips once he saw your non-existent reaction. "You're not mad, right?"
Ignoring him, you continue your deep stare now onto more trees as you two were getting closer to nature than streets. You must've been out for some time as you barely noticed how far away from the city you really were.
Joon would really love this.
Gradually lifting his arm up, his places it on top of your own and gives it a small squeeze while laying it there. "C'mon, don't ignore me."
As if that would make you stop your scheme.
Blinking slowly, you acted like you paid no attention to his puppy dog pleads as the car was making its way towards an almost empty parking lot, all surrounded by a forest that only had one route starting within an old wooden bridge.
Pulling up to a nearby parking spot, Pedro parked the car before turning back to try and capture your attention but nothing was working.
You were so damn frustrating, it was infuriating. But he was still desperate to gain your attention.
"Are you just going to sit in here all day or what?" he questions as he waves a hand over your face to make you blink.
You didn't and that kind of frightened him. Work of the devil.
"I am going to cry," he warned, swatting his hand over his face to prepare for his fake tears.
Yet you showed no mercy. Sitting there patiently, you inhaled and exhaled softly, causing him to internally flip the fuck out because why were you being so aggravating when the two of you should be walking and pointing out the squirrels fighting over nuts.
And sadly, he was slowly giving up.
"Imagine if I really was crying," he began, offended you did not care one bit. "Really means a lot how unconcerned you are."
But when you suddenly started examining your nails and carefully picking at them is when he totally lost it.
Reaching over to you and moving his arm down your arm, he swiftly intertwined your fingers with his before moving you posture to face him.
His hand was huge.
"No, no-" he started, pulling a face as you gave him a blank stare back. Act natural. Pulling your shared hands in front of his chest, he sulks. "-please, for the love of whichever god you believe in, or if you're an atheist- for the love of you, please talk to me."
Watching him beg for forgiveness has always been funny in the past, but his pleading for attention now makes you feel bad.
"If you talk to me I will buy you breakfast and a very delicious milkshake that will make you extremely happy for the rest of the day," he continues, using his free left arm to wrap around you as his right one still clutches onto your palm.
He's so warm.
Pursing your lips a bit, you send him a skeptical glance. "Oreo shake with a lot of whipped cream?"
He instantly nods, a smile breaking out. "Of course, anything you want."
You look at the car's steering wheel before averting your eyes back to his. "And a red cherry?"
"I'll buy you a full jar of cherries if it makes you happy," he declares.
"And fries?"
Agreeing, he lets out a quick nod again. "With extra seasoning."
Biting your lip, you proceed to think about other stuff you may want with your milkshake and fries. "A burger?"
"My goodness, woman" he sighs, letting go of you and jumping out of the car before running around to your side and opening your door. "I'll buy you the whole menu, now let's go!"
With that, he vigorously yet cautiously pulls you out of your seat and throws you over his shoulders.
"Oh no!" you squeal, trying to find something to hold on to as he begins his journey, walking towards the bridge to start the hike. Grabbing a hold of his neck, you try not to choke him as you place your arm around it.
If you were going down, you were sure you were going to break his neck in the process. At least it would be a learning lesson for him.
"If you drop me I am never talking to you again," you threaten as he continues down a path.
"Said that before and just did it half the car ride here," he begins, moving his shoulder to give you a little fright of your life. "Now I just found out that all I have to do is buy you food and you'll yap again."
Glaring, you choke him a little to which he chuckles. "Didn't know you were into that."
Speechless, you couldn't believe his words. What the hell was he on this morning?
"Put me down!" you exclaim, immediately moving your body so he would lose his balance. Once he did so, you scowl as he ruffles your hair, making it tangle around. "Hey!"
"Can you stop being negative for a few minutes and enjoy the environment?" he asks, pulling his arms up to twirl around. "Just take in that fresh air mother nature gifted us."
Scrunching your nose, you frown. "It smells like rotten eggs."
"Because of the ducks," he pointed out before patting his pockets. "Which we will be feeding with the bread I brought."
Examining his pocket, you shoot him a curious glance. "How big are your pockets?"
"Not important," he states, grabbing your arms and dragging you along with him down the long trail. "What's important is finishing this trail to feel accomplished."
Pouting, you allowed him to drag you along as you miserably dreaded the next few hours to come. The energy you had to give off just for some damn breakfast.
Shame on you for loving food so much.
Encountering many frogs, lizards, and pigeons who loved flying right by both of your heads and scaring you to death, you had long forgotten about how anxious you were being around him. Being distracted constantly had you occupied which was a relief.
Eventually, you two finally found the drugs.
Or the ducks.
Walking by a huge pond, there were numerous amounts of ducks leaping around with their families following behind. It was really cute, but the smell wasn't.
"I wonder if they can choke on this?" Pedro muttered as he pulled out a large bread. Slowly nearing one medium-seized one in caution, he rips a piece apart and throws it. "It is kind of thick."
Taking a moment to check the bread out, you sigh. "Are you feeding these ducks bolillo bread?"
He pauses, not sure why you would care to ask. "Yes and?"
"They have thick crusts!" you exclaim. "And why not just feed them normal wheat bread?"
"Who even eats wheat? It's bland." he protests. "Plus, this is leftovers from my dinner last night."
"They're ducks! They don't care," you argue as he shakes his head.
"Just imagine if you were a duck," he began, making you huff in annoyance as you just knew he was going to say something ridiculous. "Wouldn't you love to eat this nice bolillo bread, maybe visualize a torta with some carnitas, onions, avocado, can't forget the refried bean-"
"The duck is choking!" you squeal and stare in fear as the poor duck starts to wheeze sharply.
Pedro's facial expressions drops as he sees the poor duck quacking in agony. Nervously rushing to its side, he looks up at you. "Do we pat its back? CPR? Call 911?!"
Pulling out your phone, you type away to find answers for your current problem. It was indeed true that you aren't supposed to feed ducks bread.
Especially thick Mexican ones.
"Give it mouth to mouth if you want chlamydia," you read aloud, causing Pedro to instantly leap away from the duck as it hastily begins to lay on the ground. "Wait, you get that from birds, not ducks. Silly me."
"Ducks are birds," he discloses, trying his best to softly pat the ducks back, finally giving it one powerful swat to help but instead the duck ends ups being thrown a few feet away by his force.
"Do I look like a fucking duck doctor?" you spit out, making him look up confused.
"You mean a veterarian."
Ignoring his last comment, you continue scrolling through more of google's suggestions, finally finding some information that may help. "You need to press down on its chest with 1-2 fingers or just give them water to drown it down."
Immediately grabbing the duck and placing it on its back, you worriedly watch over the duck from Pedro's shoulder as he works his fingers on the poor animal.
However, no luck was given as the duck was beginning to look weak and drowsy as pressure kept being projected on its chest. "We need water!"
Running towards the pond, you motion for Pedro to follow along with the duck as you look for a safe ramp to lead the duck onto. "Let's just lay him down near the water and splash him with it."
"He?" Pedro asks, stopping his movements. "But it looks like a she-"
"We are not arguing over its gender when its literally dying in your arms!" you exclaim, causing him to quickly nod and follow the ramp you found towards the water.
Gently, Pedro lowered his arms near the water with the poor duck taking over his hands. Trying to move the flow of water towards its face, he calls you over. "He's not accepting it, you need to scoop some up in your hand and pour it over his beak."
Rapidly nodding, you do as he says and take a handful and try not to spill it before gradually pouring it over the duck's beak. This water was not clean, but at least it was something. Nothing was happening until your third scoop once the duck began to actually swallow some of the water slowly.
"I-I think it's working! We did it!" Pedro cheered, trying to give you a high-five, failing incredibly as he somehow managed to lose his grip and dump the poor duck hard in the pond. "Oh shit!"
Squatting down, you try to reach for the duck as its face was buried underneath the water before Pedro's body slams into yours, causing you to fall into the dirty, cold pond.
The feeling of thick, muddy water overtakes your body as you lose all sight of air. Quickly moving your arms up and down, you rise back to the surface to find Pedro with his hands over his mouth and his jaw dropped.
He knew he wasn't going to hear the end of it.
"Fuck," he nervously muttered to himself before reaching out for you. "I am so so so sorry, the leaf made me slip AH!-"
He couldn't finish his sentence as you yanked his arm down with you, pulling with almighty to get him to land in the pond. The weight of the water going down with his body diving harshly against it, you knew he was completely soaked.
And probably pissed, but its okay. It's what he deserves.
Waiting for him to come up, he finally did so in seconds looking very unhappy. It made you delighted.
"You did that on purpose!"
Scoffing, you splash him and watch as he gasps harder. "You do a lot of things on purpose."
Using both hands to release bigger waves, he splashes you back. "Don't splash me!"
Growling, you slap his chest as he clutches your wrist afterwards. "You're so lucky I forgot my phone at home."
Gasping, you feel one of his hands fly underwater. "I didn't!" You hold in your giggles as he shuffles frantically before moving his gaze back up. "Wait, I never removed it from my glove department. Be fortunate I forgot it because if you destroyed it I would've made you walk home."
Furrowing your brows, you push his shoulders and make him move back by the force of it. "You're the one who started it. We're gonna get duck chlamydia now!"
Rolling his eyes, he pushed you back, causing you to fall under the water. Once you caught your breath again you notice the way he glares at you. "That's not even a thing."
"Just another STD to add to your list," you jokingly mumble to yourself, sure he didn't catch it.
You were wrong, again.
Launching himself onto you, the two of you fall underwater as he shoves you body around in revenge. Swimming back up, you gasp for air while slapping his arms off you as he tried blocking all your attempts.
Wrapping his arms around your waist, he clings his face on your shoulder as he proceeds to try and bring you down under but somehow you manage to wrap your leg around his thigh, causing him to lose his strength and fall backwards with you on top of him.
He sure has one strong grip.
Now, not saying you were going to kill him. But this was your chance to kill him with no witnesses.
Well- besides the ducks, but they wouldn't quack a soul.
Regaining his energy, he lifts himself back up and holds you up, about to drag you under again before you crazily oppose while shaking your head, "Don't! We're gonna get sick!"
"That's not a very sincere apology," he tilts his head, his wet hair scattered across his face as he awaits your alibi.
Huffing, you fight back a rude remark. "Do you understand how much poop were swimming in right now? These ducks are probably laughing at us by how much they are quacking."
Swiftly looking around, the two of you check the surrounding ducks around who blankly stare back. The older looking ones hollering nonsense, probably making plans to kill you and Pedro.
"I bet their releasing their chlamydia right now," you cry, hiding your face in his shoulder as he bursts out laughing.
"I don't think that's how it works."
Glancing down on him, you're surprised by his strength. He's been holding you up by your waist for so long you're shocked he hasn't dropped you accidentally yet. "Let's not find out, let's get out."
"You're forgetting something," he smiles, staring innocently at you, knowing damn well you can't leave without his release. "And I wouldn't wait this one out because I am pretty sure I feel toads swimming near my feet."
Instantaneously, you clung onto him tighter in fear as you could imagine the feeling of something swarming around your body. It was like hundred of spiders crawling all over you, you needed to get out of here.
Pulling yourself back up, you place your hands on his shoulders as he impassively stares back at you, waiting. "Fine," you huff. "I'm sorry for claiming you had STD's before."
Pedro just stays there, not moving an inch as if he wants more. Groaning, you knew he wasn't going to give in so easy. "And I am sorry for stimulating the idea that you would get duck chlamydia," you apologize. "But you can get E. coli."
That didn't help as he just helplessly eyed you, not impressed with your poor excuses of your so-called apologies. What more did he want? You can't necessarily beg on your knees, you're in the water!
Whining, you knew you had to pull out your sincere face. You just knew your Oscar-worthy acting was about to award you freedom.
Softly, you move strands of hair stuck near his eyes away from his face and brush his hair back before quivering your lips and looking down upon him in sorrow.
He has really pretty eyes.
"I'm really sorry," you start as you push your face inside his neck and lock him inside your arms. "I know you don't have any infections, you don't even have visible rashes or sores to prove it."
Pedro finds your plead for forgiveness charming as you squeeze him tighter. He begins to release you until he hears the mutter of your "-that are visible."
"You couldn't hold it in for a few more seconds?!" he whined at how fast you went back to insulting him.
Sighing heavily, you slap a hand to your face. "It's hard!"
Suppressing a laugh, he unwrapped his arms around you and let you get back to the sidewalk. But once you were back on your feet, you looked down to find your body filled with random pieces of dirt, sticks, and grass. "Ew!"
"You're not sitting in my car," Pedro states, waving his head side to side to release some water from his ears.
"You're worse than me!"
"My car, my rules."
Frowning, you weren't sure if he was kidding or not. "Well, you almost committed first-degree-murder so if you don't want people to know you must be my personal servant."
His instant glare turned into confusion as he abruptly moved his attention back towards the pond. "Where did the duck go?"
Widening your eyes, you forgot that you had a helpless duck in your hands minutes ago before your splash attack with Pedro. Scanning your eyes from the sidewalks to the ramps to the pond, you noticed a duck floating nearby. "I think that's them."
Pointing at a duck with the closest familiar colors than the rest, you felt Pedro let out of sigh of relief. "Thank goodness, I would have felt extremely guilty if she would have died."
"It could be a he," you snap back.
He was about to protest but honestly, you were done for the day. You just wanted to take a long and hot shower and knock back out. Not only that, but you ruined your cute running shoes you gifted yourself months ago for your work out journey.
You never really wore them, but it's the thought that counts.
"We can get breakfast another day," you plead to which he didn't argue over because he really wanted to remove the unknown substances off his body asap.
He wouldn't admit it, but he was genuinely scared he may have gotten duck chlamydia .
"Okay, but no sleeping in the car," Pedro states as you exhale loudly. All this and you still weren't allowed to doze off, how cruel is life at the moment.
Walking back to the car would've went down smoothly if the two of you weren't given disturbed looks from strangers and your clothes weren't clinging uncomfortably to your bodies, especially your shoes.
Luckily, Pedro had towels in his trunk and set them down on the seats. "God, I am definitely going to need a deep cleaning after this."
Slipping inside, your hands find the heater and turn it on full blast. Not only was it freezing outside, but your drenched state made you feel like an icicle.
Setting off back to the road, your mind begins to wander back to the question that has been flooding your mind lately. Craning you neck towards his presence, you make out his comfort state. Cool, he's calm.
Here goes nothing.
"So," you start, awkwardly playing with your hands as you try to make direct eye-contact with him as he turns his head to you. "Why did you visit the other morning?"
Lifting a brow, he pulls a face. "Other morning?"
Biting the inside of the cheek, you try to sound composed. "Yeah, remember? You dropped by around 6am-"
"-and you thought I was Lady Gaga, slammed the door on my face, and went back to bed?" he finished, grinning while finding your eyes again. "You mean that day?"
"Well if you knew what I was talking about why make me recall those mortifying details?" you grumble, leaning back against your seat. "And I thought you were a cat."
"I figured, I always questioned why Jules would ramble on about buying Lady Gaga a new electric litter box until I connected the dots," he confessed making you let out a small chuckle.
Yeah, you clearly remember how upset Jules became when Lady Gaga neglected the expensive box.
"But if you're curious, it wasn't because I wanted to go hiking," he smiled, referring to the current day.
"Then why?"
He paused for a minute, checking his mirrors before switching lanes. "I'm not really sure."
Tilting your head a bit, you express curiosity as you glance back. "I don't understand?"
Laughing lowly, he slightly shook his head. "I did wake up real fucking early that day," he started. "Maybe around 4am? Which sucked because I must've gotten like 3-4 hours of sleep."
"So you decided to wake me up so I could feel your pain?"
"No," he stifled another chuckle. "To plant trees."
Squinting your eyes, you become very confused. What is he talking about? He noticed your puzzlement immediately. "You know, go early in the morning to different areas in the city and help dig and replace old trees to plant new ones."
This whole time you were flipping out, wondering why he randomly came early in the morning just to find out it was because he's a nature boy who wants to help out the community?
It was very sweet of him to be as helpful as he was, but you were a little disappointment it wasn't something more.
"That's why?" you ask and he nods. "And why no warning?"
"Well, I was going to call but I figured all that studying you had done the evening before may have knocked you out early," he confessed.
Yet he still made you wake up early today knowing damn well you were exhausted last night. Strange.
"Why me?" you giggle. "I'm not your typical nature girl, Joon would've been perfect for the job."
Shrugging, he leaned his elbow on his middle console. "I thought about asking him, but to be honest I didn't want to pay for any damages he may have caused."
That was a very accurate insight of what Joon really was, clumsy. The amount of times he accidentally dropped his coffee cups, tripped over wires backstage, and face-planted against glass doors would be too much to count on both your palms.
You're surprised he hasn't broken his back again- but still glad he hasn't. That would really suck.
"But have you thought things over yet?" Pedro glanced your way before looking back forward. "About Canada?"
Stiffing up a bit, you move your eyes to the dashboard. You weren't dreading this conversation, but you didn't want to talk about it.
This was a situation where it was a win but also a loss.
Win as in gaining incredible experience, loss that your parent's wouldn't be pleased, it was in a different country, and you'd be missing out on your social life for almost a year.
"Not really," you admit and sense from the corner of your eyes his shoulders fall. "Still indecisive, as always," you try joking to lighten the mood.
Sending over a tiny grin, he mirrors your same expression, doubtful. His face turns concentrated again, leaning closer to you before he shuts down again, ultimately rejecting whatever idea he had going on.
The rest of the drive back to your place went by fast. The two of you made little talk about each other's life and how school was going for you, but he already knew so much already from past encounters.
Pulling up to the red curb you loathe, you crack a scowl as he only returns a smirk at his doing. "I will personally send my property manager to you so she can threaten you."
"I do love threats," he beamed, watching as you reach for the handle before stopping you by his voice. "-but I had fun this morning, despite our little uh...catastrophe," he chuckled, looking down at his clothes.
"I totally agree," you grin. "Dirt just looks so good on me."
He sniggers lightly before slightly sobering up. "But seriously, think about the offer," he begins, nipping at his lip a bit, not trying to put too much pressure on you. "It'll be good for you, you know- your future."
Sighing, you nod. You knew where he was coming from since he's been doing this for so long, but you were still young and had a lot on your mind.
"I'll think about it," you smile, reaching for the door handle and swiftly getting out, missing the way his smile slowly vanishes.
Taking your usual step back, you send him a farewell wave but he does his habitual goodbyes as he gets out of his car and grins to you. "See you around." Laughing, you walk inside the doors and make your way to the elevators, his followed soft "beautiful" being muffled by the traffic on the streets.
It seemed like both of you were screwed.
+
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rainiishowers · 19 days
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LUKE AND MAMMON REQUEST!!
Something slice of life?? Mc and mammon could go grocery shopping then see luke and now its all just a big familt outing doing chores together
A/N: Ahhhh I finally got my creativity back!!!! (About time brain, c'mon) Summary: It was Mammon's turn to do groceries, and MC decided to tag along (totally not because Mammon practically begged them to lol). They find Luke and Simeon, and after finding out Luke deserves a reward, they all decide to stop by a flower shop!
Genre: Fluff Content: Gender neutral MC, (implied?) MC x Mammon content, MC is implied to be able to cook better than Solomon
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"Human, let's get goin'!" "I'm coming, I'm coming!!" Mammon helps MC down the steps of the House of Lamentation, which earns him a thank you that he brushes off with a flustered face. The two quickly make their way to the market, but decide to make a quick trip at the shopping district. Mammon was trying to not get distracted by the shiny new things in the shop windows when he notices two familiar somebodies.
Those two familiar somebodies happened to be Simeon and Luke.
“Let’s go say hi!” MC drags Mammon to the two angels with no resistance, and Luke was the first to notice them. He tugs on Simeon’s shirt, and he looks away from the store window. The elder angel greets MC and Mammon with a smile.
“Hi you two!” Luke greets, with an equally if not more wide smile.
“Heya, watcha out shoppin’ for?” Mammon asks.
“Luke hit a milestone in his baking skills so I thought I should get him something, we needed to get groceries anyways.” Simeon tells the two.
“That’s amazing Luke! Good job!” MC praises, to which Luke bashfully smiles.
“Hehe, thanks!”
“Anythin’ specific ya want?” Mammon asks the young angel, who ponders this for a moment.
“I wanted to research more about Devildom plants and botany! From what Barbatos showed me, it’s so varied!!”
“There’s a flower shop not too far from here, wanna go look?” MC asks. “I’m pretty sure they have flower and botany guides for sale.”
“Ah, the one not too far from the market, it just opened recently if I recall correctly.” Simeon notes.
“Yea! That sounds awesome! I want to go!” Luke smiles, with stars in his eyes.
“Hey Sims, if you’re busy, we can take him there.” Mammon offers. “Most of our groceries come from the market anyways.”
MC nods in agreement. Simeon frowns, not wanting to trouble the two.
“Are you sure that wouldn’t be much of a bother?”
“Nah, it’s fine!” Mammon waves his hand dismissively. “Besides, it’s been a while since either of us hung out with Fido.” "Hey!! I told you not to call me Fido!" Simeon pats Luke on the back in comfort while he smiles at Mammon and MC. "I don't see why Luke can't go with you." The elder angel takes out a small pouch and gives a fair amount of grimm to MC, who pockets it. "That's for anything Luke may want, I trust you two to bring him to Purgatory Hall before dinner."
"Aye aye!" MC and Mammon both do small salutes before Mammon drags Luke to the direction of the market, a yelp of surprise coming from the young blond as he tries to get Mammon to wait for MC, who shoots Simeon a smile before following them.
Getting to the market, MC meets Luke and Mammon in front of a "exotic ingredients" stall, which was really just cooking and baking ingredients from the human world and the Celestial Realm imported to the Devildom, which makes them a bit more expensive then Devildom ingredients.
"Oi! Human, do ya think we can get some of this stuff from the human world? You haven't made anythin' from the human world in a while!"
"Yea! I missed your cooking, it definitely beats Solomon's cooking." Luke adds on.
"Sure, I'm guessing Lucifer wouldn't mind if I spent a little extra for this." MC muses, letting Mammon put some human world ingredients in the basket and paying for it with some of the money Lucifer gave them from groceries.
After a bit more grocery hunting, they make their way to the flower shop, which had dozens of flowers on sale upon entering. Along with flowers all arranged by color, they offered garden and flower books near the back, most of them were planting guide books, but others were just flower fact books.
A book on one of the lower shelves caught Luke’s attention. The front covered had the title of “Flower Symbolism: A Guide to What Your Flowers Mean!”
“Oh cool!”
“What’d you find, Luke?” MC asks.
Mammon and MC peek over the young blond’s shoulder and read the title. Mammon raises an eyebrow.
“Eh? Flower symbolism? Isn’t that the thing where flowers can mean different things?”
“Yea!” Luke smiles, opening the book and flipping to a random page.
“Orange gerberas often symbolism warmth, enthusiasm and energy, which is in line with its bright color.” Luke quotes from the book. He flips to another page, one about sunflowers.
“Sunflowers are known to mean adoration and devotion, and their symbolism with the sun makes the name rather fitting.” He quotes again.
“Huh, never thought this’d be a thing, guess it makes sense though.” Mammon hums as Luke goes to the counter to buy it.
While MC and Luke were at the register, Mammon had an idea. A corny one, but an idea nonetheless.
“Mammon?” MC calls out, snapping the second eldest out of his thoughts.
“H-Huh? Yea?”
“You coming?”
“Uh..” Mammon looks at the book Luke was holding in his arms. Buying flowers for these two wouldn’t be the worst idea, right?
“I’ll meet ya out in a couple minutes, still wanna have a quick walk round.” Mammon says.
“Oh, okay! We’ll just be outside the shop!”
MC and Luke leave the shop and Mammon is quick to use the money he earned from his side hustles to buy bouquet of sunflowers for MC and orange gerberas for Luke, and he couldn’t help but get excited at the idea of giving them flowers, but he couldn’t help but be a bit nervous.
He eventually got outside and sees MC and Luke with some crows on the steps below. He felt like a proud father watching his crows make noises of affection when Luke and MC pet them.
He makes his way down, and MC was first to spot him. They greet him with a smile and Luke looks up and waves before returning to petting the crow he was before.
“Hey Mammon, all done?”
“Yep..”
The crows perch themselves on Mammon’s shoulders while he leans down to Luke’s level and gives him the bouquet of orange gerberas.
“Here, got ya this.”
Luke looks at him with wide, surprised eyes but he eventually takes it with a giggle, understanding what it meant.
“Thanks Mammon!”
Mammon smiles and pats him on the head, something that nowadays doesn’t really bother Luke if it’s the second born, and stands up. The Avatar of Greed faces MC with a blushing, bashful expression, unable to look them straight in the eyes.
“H-Here.. Got ya this..” He stumbles, holding out the bouquet of flowers for MC to take.
MC was clearly not expecting this, and Mammon feared that MC didn’t like them, but after a moment of silence, they take the bouquet with a smile, squeezing Mammon’s hand in appreciation.
“Thank you, Mams..”
“D-Don’t mention it..”
Mammon lets out a major sigh of relief when MC wasn’t looking, talking to Luke about the plans going forward.
They decided to get the last groceries and then MC and Mammon would take Luke back to Purgatory Hall.
Mammon couldn’t help but grin as Luke happily showed Simeon the flowers the second born got him alongside the book about flower symbolism.
A few days later, Mammon was planning on going to his favourite human’s room to check on them, but he was pleasantly surprised when he saw MC had set up a whole system of artificial light so they can grow properly, since the Devildom doesn’t really have a sun.
“Oh, hi Mammon!”
Mammon yelps in a bit of surprise as MC caught him staring.
“O-Oh.. H-Hey.” He stammers, trying to play it cool. “Do you like the flowers I got you..?”
“Yeah, I really do..”
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skitskatdacat63 · 3 months
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Mark Alan, Count of Queanbeyan
+ explanation & lore
Okay first I'll explain the drawing itself, and then go into Mark's lore a bit, so stay with me!!!
First of all, yep. Mark with long hair. When I first conceptualized how he'd look in this au, I just genuinely could not imagine him with the typical long curly wig. And that irked me, bcs its just sooooooo historically inaccurate for him to have had short hair, no wig. I sketched him and Jense out as chibis, I drew Mark with short hair, and literally wrote "haha wow he looks so bad with long hair!!" Hello, can I take back that statement? It's actually shocking how good he looks???? Maybe it's a testament to my skill that I could make this work. But I did! And man, shameful to admit, but this might be my best portrait ever 😭😭 Funny tho, guy I've barely drawn, and never as detailed as this, ends up being one of my favs. Mark, you bastard!!
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^ lmao as you can see, I tried out a more Seb type wig and then realized ahhhhh nah, he needs a different style. And it worked so, yay!!! I've thought a lot recently, "man it would suck back then if you looked shitty in a wig" and I rescind that. I'm telling you, you think a man would look bad in a wig? I say think again, you're just not conceptualizing the right type of wig for him.
Also wow, its crazy thst I can finally actually visually see what he would look like next to others like Seb and Fernando in this au. Hehehe look at them!!! The boys!!!! Just need Jense :,)
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Anyways, I digress, some lore notes about Mark since I don't think I've really talked about him in this au on main much.
He is, of course, Seb's closest servant. His Groom of the Bedchamber(yes that term makes me feel rabid.) He's actually also based on a real guy, whom was described as the Emperor's "favorite" and despite not technically having very important positions, he had a lot of influence because of his closeness and connection with the Emperor. So, yeah, I think that's gives a pretty good pic of Mark in this au :)
He's actually pretty satisfied with his role, but he does feel a bitter and jealous when interacting with others like Jenson and Fernando. Because Mark doesn't have a title, well not in the same way. He's a count, not a King, not a Prince. Yes he's nobility, but not in the same way. And he's satisfied being under Seb, because that's what Mark was raised to do, take care of and keep Seb in line. But often realizes he's never going to be on par with him, not in the same way Fernando can, even if he's Seb's closest confidant.
To build on that. He's very satisfied with his role, and even continues to be satisfied when Fernando comes into the picture. Fernando and Seb don't get along, Mark is always going to be the closest to Seb, always going to know him the best, take care of him the best. But he realizes, he would never get to marry Seb, he's not ranked high enough for that. He was raised to do what's best for the Emperor, he's never going to be able to compete with Seb the same way Fernando can. He really wants Seb and Fernando to succeed! To grow closer! But it still really hurts sometimes.
His closest friend, other than Seb, is Jenson of course(and eventually Fernando, after they stop growling at each other like they're Seb's dogs.) But he does get bitter about Jenson sometimes. Jenson is a prince, who had some great performances in battle. But eventually got tired of that lifestyle, and "retired" to being part of Seb's court. Mark can't really understand that. How do you throw that level of prestige and freedom away. How do you just become the Emperor's servant, when that was never what you were born for. But also, I think Jense definitely uplifts him, they just get along so well, and Jense truly cares for him, no other motives :)
LOL sorry I realize how depressing this sounds 😭 I think all of the above is just Mark at his most bitter, but he's genuinely pretty happy. Think of the whole "not bad for a number 2 driver thing", that's him in this AU. He knows his station, and god damn it, he's gonna be the best, most loyal groom there ever was!! He just cares for Seb so deeply, and it truly is his life path to serve him. Seb cares for him too, feels like he can always rely on him and always be reassured by him and his eternal presence in Seb's life. It's nice to have someone you can always fall back on. Sometimes literally. Yes he makes Mark carry him to bed.
Not to stray away from just Mark, but aaaaahhh the Martian in this AU. Just Mark having to put up with Seb's brattiness all the time, and care for him all the time :) He's so tired of catching Seb naked tho...Seb please put clothes on, this is not befitting of your station. Seb takes Mark with him everywhere, and they share the same bed on trips. Mark is always the first Seb goes to to ask his opinion. I said earlier that Mark feels like he cannot challenge Seb in the same way Fernando can, but Seb really wants him to honestly! He loves hearing Mark's thoughts and opinions. Mark is widely known as Seb's favorite, and is often seen as the second authority in the palace and in the court.
As for Webbonso? I think they really dislike each other in the beginning just because the roles that they're in. They both feel like they're pitted against each other, and ir doesn't help that Seb loves to tease them and often favor one in front of the other(he later realizes how shitty this is, and tries to rectify it, because he never intended to make them actually jealous, he just loves being bratty.) Eventually they realize they're in extremely similar situations(both beholden to and stuck eternally with the Emperor), and find comfort in each other in that.
Yep that's right...the palace is honestly one big polycule djkfkglg. But I hope thay explains Mark in this AU well enougg???? All you need to know: Seb's long-suffering servant.
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froggibus · 1 year
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Kiss It Better - Mercy, Kiriko, Lucio & Baptiste
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Includes: Kiriko, Mercy, Lucio and Baptiste
Genre: NSFW
Summary: how your support S/O reacts to you getting nipple piercings + them kissing it better
CW: NSFW, nipple play, other suggestive actions, reader has (relatively fresh) nipple piercings
gee i wonder what this could possibly be inspired by lol. i tried to make this gn! reader but there's a chance some f! pronouns slipped in so that's my bad :( also this was originally gonna be ALL the supports and just basic hcs but i got carried away and wrote WAY too much...still tempted to do Zen, Brig, Moira and (especially) Ana tho...anyways enjoy <3
also!!! you shouldn't have anyone touch/lick your piercings for a while after you get them done but we're gonna pretend for the sake of this story <3 definitely not me projecting my frustration into fics
————
Baptiste
It’s been a while since you’ve last seen your boyfriend, with his inability to stay in one place and all. Still, the last thing he expected when he entered your apartment was to see you, shirtless, with a hot compress on your chest. 
“Babe?” He drops his bag by the door and slams it behind him, hurrying to your side. “What happened? Are you hurt?”
You’re so excited by his presence that you completely forget about your piercings, leaping up from your spot on the couch to wrap your arms around him. You tug him close to your chest, wrinkling the Hawaiian print fabric of his shirt. 
He hugs you back, drawing you closer to his scent of cologne and pina coladas. You sigh—he must have been in the Caribbean recently. 
He squeezes you slightly, enjoying the feeling of you in the arms. His chest presses against your sensitive nipples, causing you to flinch back from him and clutch your chest. 
“Y/n? What’s wrong?”
You sit back on the couch, reaching for the hot compress. “I-I just got my nipples pierced and they’re a little sensitive.”
“You—what?” His eyes practically bug out of his head, and the Haitian medic immediately drops to his knees in front of you. He reaches for the hot pack, “let me see.”
You let him take it from you, slowly moving your arms to reveal your swollen nipples and the studded jewellery within them. You swear he’s going to faint for a second when he sees. 
“Is-is something wrong?” You ask. 
“Y/n, I’m a doctor—don’t ask me if something’s wrong with you sticking a metal bar through your nipples.”
You laugh at his words, “touché?”
“Still,” he mumbles, hovering his fingers over your left one. “They’re very pretty, baby.”
Butterflies erupt in your stomach at his words, and you try to control your breathing while he touches you gently. You bite your lip at his touch, looking into his eyes while he does it. 
“Is it sore?” 
“A little,” you admit, “it’s worse when there’s pressure.”
He cracks a smile, “want me to kiss it better?”
“Please?”
“It would be my pleasure.”
 He winks at you, moving so that his mouth is level with your right nipple. He blows cool air on it, laughing at the way your breath catches in your throat. 
He attaches his mouth to it gently, leaving wet kisses all over your breast. “How does that feel?”
“G-good,” you mumble. 
He moves to the left side now, planting a kiss over top of the piercing. You whimper and clench your thighs together, tangling your hands in Bap’s hair. 
He pulls back suddenly, moving his hands down to your hips. He presses a soft kiss to your lips. “Is it better now?”
“I guess so,” you tease. 
“Oh, so you want to play it like that? Cause I can make you feel much better.”
Kiriko
Kiriko squeezes your hand, practically kicking her feet in glee while the piercer dabs your nipples with rubbing alcohol. “They’re gonna look so good!”
“Y-yeah!” You say, trying not to pale when the piercer pulls out the needle. 
She tells you to take a deep breath in, and as you breathe out, there’s a sharp pain in your nipple. You squeeze your girlfriend’s hand and suck in a breath. 
“Done!” She announces, dabbing your nipple with a wet wipe to get the blood off. “Wanna go take a look?”
You step off of the table slowly, your knees still wobbling and your head spinning. You step in front of the mirror and almost squeal in joy. Your nipples are adorned with two cute bars, a jewel on each end matching Kiriko’s fox spirit.
“I love them,” you announce. 
Your girlfriend steps behind you, wrapping her hands around your waist and settling her chin on your shoulder. She grins, her sharp canines reflecting in the light. Her eyes practically light up when she sees the colour of the jewels. 
“Do you like them?”
She beams, her smile much more innocent than her thoughts, “I love them.” 
You put your top back on and go up to the front to pay for your piercing before following your girlfriend to her bike. You slide on behind her, wrapping your hands around your waist and being careful not to rub your new piercings against her back. 
She practically drags you back to the apartment and shoves you onto the couch. “Take it off,” she commands, tugging on the hem of your shirt. “I wanna look at them some more.”
You laugh at her antics but pull your t-shirt over your head nonetheless. She melts at the sight, sitting on her hands to retrain herself from touching them. 
“Satisfied?” You raise an eyebrow. 
“Does it still hurt? Or does it feel good?”
You shrug, “it’s throbbing but it’s not too bad.” 
“Aw babes, want me to kiss it better?”
Her words fluster you, forcing you to look away from her while you nod your head yes. She’s ecstatic that she even gets to touch them, licking her lips at the thought. 
She slowly moves in, being careful not to graze her teeth on your sore nipple while she plants a hot kiss to it. You moan at her touch, throwing your head back. She moves to the other side now, repeating her actions and laughing at the way you curl your toes and kick your feet. 
“Don’t worry baby,” she mumbles into your chest, “I'll make you all better.” 
Lucio
It’s been over a month since the last time you saw your boyfriend. He went on tour at the beginning of the fall, and you’ve only seen him occasionally since then. You weren’t really expecting him back for another month, so when he showed up at your door you were shocked to say the least. 
“Babe?” You ask. 
He doesn’t even greet you, instead holding up a news article on his holopad for you to read. Partner of infamous DJ Lucio seen with nipple piercings. 
You rub the back of your neck, your skin suddenly feeling hot. You honestly forgot that he didn’t know about your piercings, and that stupid headline followed by a picture of you in a tank top with your piercings poking through didn’t help. 
“I—yeah, I was waiting til you came to tell you,” you sigh and welcome him into your apartment. 
“Can I—can I see them?”
You laugh, “I mean, duh.”
You tug at the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head carefully to not catch on your piercings. Lucio’s jaw drops when he sees the silver bar adorned with green jewels going through your nipples. 
“So…do you like them?”
He reaches out and cups one of your boobs, hands cold on your sensitive skin. “They look really good,” he admits, “really, really good.”
“Well, I’m glad you think so,” you grin. “But tell me you didn’t fly all the way here because of piercings?”
“Hey, I thought you might need my help healing and all!”
You wrap your arms around his shoulders and pull him in for a kiss. “Yeah? And how do you suppose you can help with that?”
He kisses you again, “maybe I could kiss them better?”
The thought would be ridiculous if it wasn’t so hot. You know your boyfriend could probably heal you in a few seconds, but the thought of him putting his warm mouth over your aching nipples sent heat straight to your crotch. 
He kisses down to your jaw before working his way down your neck, sucking marks into the sensitive skin. You arch your back with every kiss, whimpering for your boyfriend. 
Finally, his mouth reaches the spot where you really want it, and the minute his tongue brushes against the throbbing piercing, you’re in heaven. You moan and tug at his hair, begging for more. He laughs, the vibrations rumbling through you. 
He moves his mouth to the other side, flicking his tongue across it as gently as he can before placing his mouth over it. “How does it feel, baby?”
“Good,” you whimper, “really good.”
“Are you healed now?” 
“I-I think you need to do it a few more times,” you joke. 
“Anything for you.”
Mercy
When you came home from your appointment and told your girlfriend about your new piercings, she was horrified to say the least. 
“You let someone stick a needle inside of you? There of all places?”
It wasn’t until you actually lifted up your shirt to show her the piercings going through your cute nipples, that she almost dies. You just look so cute. 
“How are they?” She asks, still in awe over the jewellery. 
You lean back on the cot in her office, propping yourself up on your hands. “They hurt a bit if I’m being honest.” 
Angela gives you a disapproving look, reaching a gloved hand out to brush over the top. “Does that hurt?”
Her fingers just barely brush the tip of your left nipple, but it’s enough to send shivers up your spine and slick to your panties. 
“N-no,” you whimper. 
“I can’t believe you’d let someone do this,” she shakes her head. 
“Is that bad, Angie?”
She sighs and moves her hand to brush over the right side, “any pain now?”
You moan when her dainty fingers dance across your chest and squeeze your eyes shut from the pleasure. 
“Does it feel good?” She asks lowly, rubbing her finger across it again. 
“Y-yes!”
She pulls her gloves off and starts to gently rub over your nipples. You throw your head back, squirming at the feeling of her soft skin on yours. 
She accidentally touches the bar, sending a sharp pain through your left nipple. You flinch, immediately moving your hand to cup your boob. 
“Oh, honey,” she coos, eyebrows knit together in concern, “did that hurt?”
You nod slowly, sucking in a breath through your teeth. “They're really sensitive right now.”
“My poor baby. Need me to kiss it better?”
You raise an eyebrow at the blonde. “What?”
“Want me to kiss it better?”
You consider the thought for a second—Angie’s warm mouth on your swollen nipple, warming up the cool metal bars. It sounds like heaven. 
You shake your head and move your hand away from your nipples, watching her carefully. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and leans in slowly, warm breath fanning across your chest. 
She presses a gentle, wet kiss to your sore nipple. Blue eyes meet yours as she moves to the other side, repeating the action. She smiles at you when you moan, kissing it again. 
She pulls back, cupping your cheek. “How are they now?”
“Much better.”
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fefairys · 3 months
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I just read up to the breakup with Meenah and Vriska and fuck, i really dislike that whole situation. Got any thoughts you wanna ramble about regarding that?
OKAY I FINALLY GOT HERE IN MY REREAD.
god yes everything involving meenah and (vriska) and the vriska (vriska) confrontation is extremely fascinating to me. mostly because i resonate with a lot of it so hard it hurts. long ass post below. i got very personal lol what can i say. i vriska.
(vriska) goes into people-pleasing mode when she and meenah are alone. it actually reminds me of how she would sometimes act with kanaya. the vulnerability, mainly. but like. its a little different. with kanaya it was more like 'youre the only bitch around here i respect, but im still better than everyone else. i want you to like me but i dont NEED you to! (<-lie)' but with meenah its like 'you are the only person i have and so i have to be good for you so you dont leave me.'
she backs down super easily with meenah. sometimes she does argue for herself, but ultimately she always ends up deferring to meenah. she wants to agree with everything she says. wants her to like her:
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^ she doesnt want to say the carnival looks fun until she's gotten meenah's approval. she has to be cool for meenah.
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her suggestion gets shot down and she immediately sides with meenah. oh yeah i didnt want to do that anyway in fact i hate horses!
it's tricky, because of some of it seems like actual Character Development, and her getting over some shit. and i definitely think these thinks dont have to be mutually exclusive. she can be realizing things about herself and moving on from them while at the same time falling into habits that are equally unhealthy for a person.
she realizes she used to care way too much about stuff and tries to counter it by not caring at all. she realizes she used to push people around to much and counters it by becoming a pushover herself. this is sickeningly relatable to me.
the scene where meenah convinces her to get a tattoo is a good example of this.
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she realizes that a long-held opinion she had is actually kind of bullshit, and that she cared way too much about it for no reason. good job, vriska!
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but then she pretty much leaves the actual decision of it up to meenah! she asks meenah to tell her what to do instead of thinking for herself. she justifies it by agreeing that she loves pirate stuff anyway! shes trying to make up for a lifetime of bossing people around by asking someone else to boss her around. and she convinces herself that this is making her happy! and i mean it definitely is, in a way. it feels good to feel liked by someone. to have the approval of someone you look up to. it is making her happy. but is that... good for her? i dont know! it doesn't feel good to me.
this stuff is hitting me extremely close to home on this reread because i like JUST came upon the revolution that i kinda did this? not to this extreme polarity, but it still resonates.
i was (kind of am still, it's in my nature) a very bossy and controlling person, and i lost an entire circle of friends because they were rightfully tired of me telling them what to do and being so self-righteous all the time. so when trying to make new friends after that, i turned on people-pleaser mode. and i'm kind of still stuck there and trying to strike a balance between being a doormat people-pleaser and being a huge bitch that wants everyone to behave how *i* want them to. it is a hard balance to strike. its hard knowing when i should stand up and say something and when i should let something go, so most often i let things go. and OFTENTIMES i live to regret it. "i should have said something" is something i've been finding myself thinking A LOT in recent months...
and its tricky, because it feels good when people i respect say they approve of me. i feel happy that someone likes me. but sometimes that has come at the cost of sacrificing parts of myself. and it can feel good in the moment, to feel connected to someone like that, but then one day you wake up full of dread because you dont know who the fuck you are anymore. (vriska) didn't really ever get to that point, or, she never voiced it. vriska points out that shes become an entirely different person, but she does it in a way that uhhh fucking sucks lol! and is not helpful, because vriska's not exactly doing great, herself! she shows off her hypocrisy DELICIOUSLY in this scene.
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she calls (vriska) selfish for.... being dead, essentially. and she justifies all her own selfish actions with it being "for the greater good," just as she always has. this is par for the course with vriska
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^ i looooove this part right here where she sidesteps the fact that she did in fact plan to go fight jack but john punched her in the face to stop her. "different shit happened!" (i actually made the exact same decisions as you, but an outside force changed things and now i feel superior to you because i got a serendipitous opportunity that you didnt)
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this whole conversation hits hard with me. it literally sounds similar to conversations ive had with myself! it's hard to not want to side with (vriska) i mean she does feel like the more reasonable one in this conversation and has had more time to think and reflect on herself, and vriska is being a fucking asshole about it, but like, i don't think either of them is exactly Right?
like, vriska has a bit of a point that (vriska) doesnt seem to notice that she's gone people-pleaser mode. but (vriska) thinks this is what happiness is. she despises her old self who was obsessed with inserting herself into everything and feeling the need to be The Best and prove herself as such, to catastrophic outcomes. so of course she wants to separate herself from that as much as possible and strive to become the opposite of it. someone who doesnt care about shit, and who lets other people make decisions for her instead of her making the decisions for everyone against their will. i think (vriska) was on the right track, but just couldn't really... Get There without the right support. and meenah was definitely not the right support.
but anyways like. vriska yelling at (vriska) at how disgusted she is with her is so sickeningly similar to me, looking back and realizing that i used to like.. stand up for myself more. if someone said some shit i didnt like i TOLD them i had a problem. i didn't let people push me around. and i think god, what happened to me? i became a weak loser that bends to peoples idea of what i should be instead of being myself. am i really happy?
but its not like i was better off before, either. vriska still isn't right. yeah i didnt let people boss me around, because i bossed THEM around. when i told people i had a problem with them i was MEAN about it. i said rude shit unnecessarily. i made everything about me and didn't care about what other people thought.
my past self and my "current" self (maybe like, my 'a few months ago self' i like to think im working through it but im still having trouble lol) are disgusted with each other. im disgusted that i used to straight up bully people all the time, and past me is disgusted that i seemed to have stopped having convictions, that i let other people decide who i should be, etc.
neither of them are really happy, but (vriska) sure seems a lot kinder, at least. she's made progress, but in a way that benefits other people more than it does herself.
also i love vriska saying "what happened to not letting shit get to you because you always knew you were better than the one slinging it" that is such utter bullshit. she is ALWAYS letting stuff get to her. all of her god damn actions are because she lets stuff get to her. everything she does is to prove herself. the cycle of revenge shit?? yeah totally didn't let it get to you. thats why you killed aradia and blinded terezi. because you were just so totally better than them and not letting it get to you. this stuff:
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yeah. letting it roll off your back. lol
anyways back to meenah and (vriska)
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meenah recognizes this vulnerability in (vriska) and it scares her. she does the whole "im abandoning you... for your own good..." thing, which... sucks! as you said, this whole situation just fucken sucks, man.
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(vriska) basically admits that at this point, without meenah, she's lost. she let meenah mold her into what she wanted, and to lose her would be to lose herself.
but i mean i don't think there was another way this could've gone. (vriska) was essentially meenah's rebound after aranea (and vriska is her rebound after (vriska) lol) and it's just.. ALL bad. its just... everyone here has such deep personal issues that they cant help but let effect each other, yknow? meenah realizes that her issues are effecting (vriska) and thinks that removing herself from the situation is best. maybe it is? it turns out okay for (vriska) in the end, at least. as "okay" as she can possibly get, i guess.
i don't know. there's a lot here! it all just hurts and sucks. teens, man. how it is.
this is just my (very personal, frankly) interpretation of the events, idk. i think i said a lot here without actually saying anything all that substantial, as i feel like i tend to do. i just resonate with vriska really hard, what and you gave me an opportunity to ramble about it lol
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quincywillows · 3 months
Text
a scattered and overall supportive review of percy jackson season 1
let me just say first of all, it's extremely fun to be enthused about a tv show like this again. the adaptation isn't perfect, but it's a lot of fun, and you can tell there's plenty of heart and good intention behind what they're doing. i'm very much enjoying tuning in every couple of episodes and catching up -- and avoiding the relentless commentary of the internet while i do so lol.
but now it's time for MY commentary!! to preface, i was a huge fan of the books when i was younger, am a stalwart long-term advocate of the original five books as some of the best children's lit of our lifetime, but i also enjoyed the films a decade ago for what they were and think people (including cough rick cough) are way too harsh about them. justice for logan lerman. anyway
i'm not going to do like a play-by-play, but in summary, here are my takeaways from the first season -- what i thought worked, what did not, and things i'm optimistic about going into the future seasons.
the good
for an adaptation of the original series (which, to be fair, i have not reread in years), i felt this was honest and faithful. there were tweaks, obviously, but none that took me too out of it or felt irredeemable. there was a lot to like about this show, so i want to start right from the top with my highest highs.
the worldbuilding / production design. i absolutely loved getting to see how they imagined certain iconic characters, locations, and sequences from the books. it was so exciting to get to see camp halfblood for the first time on screen (at least, in this adaption) -- that moment in episode two definitely felt like a turning point where we picked up from the somewhat laggy pilot episode. i especially loved the design of mount olympus, aspects of the underworld (hades and his upside down castle were baller, though how did percy and grover get up there lol; and i absolutely loved the choice for asphodel and the ghosts being rooted like trees, i never would've thought of that myself but it was so chilling and unique... just wish i could see it better through the terrible lighting, but we'll come back to that), and of course, camp. even down to the small details, like the camp beads... it's just very cool to see it come to life.
the casting. i wasn't sure about some of the casting when the news was breaking, but i'm very happy to have been pleasantly surprised all around (and have majorly avoided people bitching about every single thing). there wasn't any role where i felt like someone was horribly miscast, and you could tell that everyone involved really wanted to be there and committed. i thought the casting of the gods was especially inspired at times. some of the highlights for me personally:
adam copeland as ares. i had no idea he was apparently a wrestler turned actor until my sister told me, but i thought he was absolutely spectacular. very charismatic, with just the right amount of cringefail that ares needed. i found him thoroughly enjoyable in all his scenes.
lance reddick as zeus. having just played horizon zero dawn recently, oh my lorde was this an inspired choice. he was absolutely brilliant. i'm so so sad about his passing, i don't know how they're going to recapture his performance, but i have faith now that they'll find a way.
timothy omundson as hephaestus. i love that they took a softer, more mad scientist approach to his role than like ugly basement blacksmith vibes... i just thought it was really refreshing. his scene with annabeth, where we got so much humanity from him in such a short span of time, was one of my favorite scenes of the season.
jason mantzoukas as dionysus. i mean. what else can be said. obvious choice, but he was so fun lol. i hope they give him more to do next season.
other standouts beyond the main youth cast for me were jay duplass as hades (his brief appearance in 107 was thoroughly enjoyable) and dior goodjohn as clarisse (she was by far the acting standout of the first couple episodes to me). also very happy to see jessica kennedy parker and sinclair from the 100 get work, lol.
walker as percy jackson. it was really wonderful watching walker grow as an actor even just through the first eight episodes. the difference from 101 to 108 is almost night and day. you can tell how much he cares about the project and percy as a character, and he upped his game with every episode. i cannot wait to see what he turns out in the coming seasons. to be fair, i thought all of the youth cast did a decent job, and i'm giving them a lot of leeway and room to grow since they are literally child actors -- it takes time to hone your craft, and im optimistic they're all going to do a great job as the series goes on. but walker was, definitively and thankfully as the protagonist, the standout.
charlie bushnell as luke. i was so excited when i heard he got cast because i loved him in diary of a future president, and he did not disappoint. i kind of wish he had more to do, but all of that was forgiven in the finale when he had his final confrontation with percy. oh, the acting popped off then -- i can't wait for him to get to chew up the scenery more in the coming seasons.
grover and percy's friendship. it was so sweet to see this come alive, and i thought walker and aryan had excellent natural chemistry together. they were so endearing, and i really believed their friendship basically from the start (them swapping their sandwich fillings is a tiny detail from the pilot that has stuck with me since; i just loved that choice so much). they definitely provided a lot of my favorite moments in the season, and i think evoked the most genuine "aw wow" moments from me.
percy's relationship with sally. since sally was, understandably, absent from the original novel, it was awesome to get the flashbacks here that allowed us to more deeply understand their bond. i thought walker and virginia did a great job with this, and the young actor who played little percy also did a surprisingly great job (he was actually one of the stronger youth actors in the pilot imo lol). you totally understood why percy was doing everything he was, because that mother-son bond felt believable. big shout-out to the absolutely baller line "i am sally jackson's son." one of the first writing moments where i was like oh snap!
the music. a good score really can't be understated, and this one did not disappoint. did just what it needed to do. i also loved the closing title sequence and the art direction there with the epic music -- just such a nice touch that i'm so glad they included.
some of the writing. i'll get more into some of my qualms with the writing below, but there were definitely some great moments that deserve their flowers. i thought they did a great job weaving in some early themes without being heavy-handed about it (percy having to define who he is for himself, mostly). there were some genuinely funny moments that made me laugh out loud, including "i am impertinent," annabeth's "i'm multitalented," and the entire exchange on the road side when the trio to ares are like no... we're fine... ahaha bye... oh and percy trying to drive the taxi out of the garage at the casino was absolutely hysterical.
pivotal scenes hitting their mark. when the show needed to deliver, i thought they really delivered. i absolutely loved the staging and acting in the final luke and percy confrontation -- the lighting of the fireworks was such a cinematic touch. percy's arrival at olympus and scene with zeus was also a big standout. i loved a lot of the st. louis arch episode, and thought the hephaestus golden chair sequence was really well done. overall, the episodes i thought were strongest were without a doubt 104, 105, and 108.
expansion where expansion was welcome. one of my favorite aspects of the series is how it's giving more nuance to the monsters and "villains" of the books. i loved that we got a little more motivation for alecto beyond evil -- that she clearly wanted to accomplish her own mission and retrieve the helm, whether out of loyalty or fear. i loved how medusa got much more depth and humanity, that we're sort of reexamining the fairness of how myths are told rather than just taking it all at face value. i'm really looking forward to seeing how that continues in the next seasons.
the decent
percy and annabeth. to be fair, i think my issue with this is more on the fan reaction than the show itself. i think the show is doing a decent, if somewhat awkwardly paced job, of building their friendship and offering small little hints of what could blossom in the future in classic youth awkward ways -- unexpected hugs, banter, etc. i think walker and leah are both doing a good job, and i look forward to seeing how it develops. but my god, people on the internet are really jumping the shark so hard here. i can't handle seeing more "uwu percy is in love" posts when it's like. y'all. THEY ARE 12. THEY JUST MET. LET THEM ORGANICALLY BECOME FRIENDS FIRST... i just hope the creators don't feed into that and also jump the shark. like yes, we all know where this is going, but can't we enjoy the actual journey to get there instead of forcing what isn't there yet? in any case, on the positive side, some of the moments between them i really enjoyed: the conversation on the train when grover was asleep, the hephaestus chair sequence, annabeth giving him her camp beads before going to olympus (that was a slay... that was a legendary slow burn start moment worth hyping up), the way percy smiled at her in their last scene... that's the good stuff. let's not rush through what we're getting folks. the water is fine.
lin manuel as hermes. here is the thing. i thought lin did a good job. i thought his casting was apt, and fun, and he did a great balance of hermes charisma and like, a darker edge. it's just... the thing about lin manuel is that he's lin manuel. and this is coming from someone who likes him, but it's like he shows up on screen and i'm just like. hey it's lin manuel. it's a bit of a "takes you out of the moment" stunt casting, but i'm not mad about it. i wouldn't call it a bad thing. hopefully it'll wear off (though i doubt it). i guess i'm just deciding that hermes is just lin manuel, which honestly, would kind of track.
the youth acting. mentioned this above, but again, some of that early delivery was rough. but i am giving a lot of grace, and i think they've already improved plenty in the first eight episodes. i felt the same way about shadowhunters back in the day when i thought kat mcnmara was hard to watch in season 1, but by season 3 she was my absolute favorite cast member and came so far. i have no doubt these kiddos will do the same. so very much looking forward to that.
the not so great
the pacing. this was definitely the weakest part of the story writing wise. it wasn't irredeemable, but it did hinder the first half of the show (which didn't lock in for me until about 104, when the stakes truly shot up at st. louis). and that also affected how dynamics and plot points were able to unravel. the biggest victim of this...
the luke reveal. from the start, i was worried about this. since luke was only really in episode 2, i had doubts about whether the reveal of his betrayal would be at all satisfying or earned. i don't know that i can speak on it for sure, since i knew what was going to happen as someone who read the books, but i still feel we should have gotten more of those luke-and-percy-bonding scenes and convos earlier in the series rather than tacked onto the finale as flashbacks. it worked there, but i think it could've been better. thankfully, all of that didn't hinder the delivery of the finale confrontation, which as i said, was a standout moment for me.
the fight scenes. with rare exception, i was pretty underwhelmed with many of the monster battles and confrontations this season. given that's such a huge gimmick of the novels, i hope they're able to revisit and polish up the pacing of these in the future... i just felt that scenes like the museum clash with dodds were so rushed and anticlimactic. or not even confrontations at all, like the scene with crusty. we got a bit more of this at the back half of the season, in the sword fights with ares and luke, but i wanted more of that epic feeling throughout. i'm hoping it's maybe just a budget concern and that it'll improve in the coming seasons -- especially as the bosses get bigger and the stakes get higher -- but i'm not sure i'm optimistic just yet.
some of the dialogue. it was... wooden, to say the least. i think the worst moments of this were when they were trying to force Kid Bants -- which just felt stilted in the earlier episodes -- and whenever they were explaining greek myths point blank to the audience. there were moments it worked, but many where it didn't, and i hope they flesh out how to better info dump in the future episodes. i didn't mind the change of having percy be more familiar with the myths and thus more aware, but they could afford to finesse how they relay that information to us in the audience without basically reading from wikipedia in percy's voice.
the ugly
oh my god i can't see. i can't SEE. this show went to the teen wolf academy of employing one lightbulb and it's actually criminal. there were so many scenes where i really wanted to see what was happening because the stakes were high or the scenery was so pivotal -- the entry into the underworld for the first time, the vastness of medusa's basement of stone, THE FIELDS OF ASPHODEL -- but the lighting was so god awful i legitimately couldn't see a thing. in asphodel i literally could barely see the trio's expressions, it was that bad / flat. the audience is smart, we understand it's dark out. we can suspend our disbelief so you can add some visibility to this thing. i was turning up my brightness constantly but it wouldn't go any higher. please, disney execs, rick, anyone -- GET ANOTHER LIGHTBULB. i'm losing key immersive aspects of the show to this and it's a bummer. when they were walking through waterland for the first time and annabeth was like "wow can you believe this craftsmanship" i was like i don't know, girl, I CAN'T SEE ANY OF IT. begging on my knees that they fix this next season.
well, that ended up longer than expected, but oh my gods it is so nice to be writing paragraphs about a tv show again. all in all, i'd say 7.5/10 from me in this first season. there's so much to be keen for here, and i'm really happy with how it's going so far.
friends and fellow demigods, what did we all think?
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