#and you truly have no idea what objective reality in the story is. only what the character narrating is Claiming to experience (and they | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

iamthat-iam · 2 months

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Real vs Unreal 🤯

Jade has been in the LOA community for over a year now. It opened her up to many different possibilities, such as shifting to the MCU (Marvel Universe) where she is a superhero with super strength, super speed, and the ability to fly.

Everyday when she wakes up, and before she goes to bed, she does an intense visualization of this reality. Each time she does it, her "current reality" seems to disappear, until she opens her eyes. She knows that she's so close yet so far from shifting there! She decides to go on Tumblr and ask for advice.

She comes across some intriguing ND posts that say "You must collapse the duality between physical vs imagination and real vs unreal" and "All experiences are the same, no matter the label. Seeing a car in a 'daydream' is no different than seeing one 'in real life.'"

This seems to be different than what she learned from LOA, with the existence of a 3D/4D and 'fulfilling your imagination until it shows up in the physical.' She sends a blogger a question out of curiosity.

"Hi! I know that this is not a shifting blog, but I wanted clarification on a few things. For over a year now, I've been trying to shift to the Marvel Universe, where I'm a superhero with powers. Everyday I do a visualization where I am experiencing these things. I just saw your post that says all experiences are the same, and how seeing something in imagination is the same as real life. Does this mean the whole time I was visualizing myself in that reality, I was already experiencing that? It was real? I also want to know how imagination and physical are the same. Thank you." She inquired.

The blogger responds with, "Yes you already experienced it. The reason why there's no physical vs imagination is because your awareness, your true nature, is present during all appearances that come and go. We've just labelled certain appearances real or not real based on certain ideas we picked up through life. For example, many people think that experiences are only real when you are awake and you seem to be living through the 5 senses. They were also taught that things like fairies, dragons, supernatural abilities aren't real, so when they hear stories about people experiencing those things, it's a huge shock for them. But in reality, nothing is objectively real or unreal, all experiences are possible for awareness. You (as awareness, THAT, or " ") are the ONLY thing that is truly real. As the ultimate authority, only you can decide what is "true" for you or not."

Jade decides to take some time to really think about what this blogger said. Everything they said is a complete 180 from what Jade thought she knew about life and how reality works. So that means this entire time, she was already in the MCU? And the MCU is apparently just as real as what Jade calls "real life?" That is truly an interesting concept to ponder! The one thing that has Jade stumped, however, is the fact that she opens her eyes and continues to see her old life. She goes back to the blogger to ask about this.

"That's really interesting how I already experienced being in the MCU! So this technically means I can tell someone I "shifted" there, and they couldn't accuse me of lying? Also, I'm a bit confused on why whenever I open my eyes after visualizing, I still see my old life," She questioned the blogger.

"To answer your first question, no, they can't accuse you of 'lying' because that was a valid experience for you. The idea that you have to experience "shifting symptoms" or enter the void state to "experience another world" is limiting, and creates a barrier between you and whatever you want to experience. This is no disrespect to that community, if they want to "shift" or "enter the void state" to experience things, that is totally up to them. But ND is about not labelling experiences, and not treating them as if they are separate from you. All experiences are yours. It's natural for you, as an omnipotent being, to experience whatever you want instantly. As for why your "old life" continues to appear, there is no old life. There's no experience A turning into experience B, it's all nothingness. You said you visualized being in the MCU, have you noticed that the "old life" seems to disappear and you're totally focused on the visualization? That's because the "old life" never was in the first place!" The blogger explained.

That response made everything click for Jade. She finally feels free enough to experience the MCU universe or any other universe whenever she wants! "Thank you so much! This was very helpful and empowering!" She thanked the blogger.

And so Jade became the superhero she always wanted to be.

#non dualism #nondualism #consciousness #awareness #self realization #self

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scribefindegil · 7 months

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Some thoughts on unreliable narrators as I procrastinate on writing several tricky scenes with unreliable narrators:

Every narrator is unreliable. Just like there's no such thing as 'objectivity' in journalism or academia, there's no such thing as a truly reliable narrator. The narrator's viewpoint is limited, they're shaped by their culture and personality and experiences, they overlook things and make assumptions. It's all a matter of degree. But usually we talk about "unreliable narrators" when the gap between what the narrator says and what the reader/author believes to be true is prominent enough to be narratively significant.

Where is the gap?

Unreliable narrators are not all duplicitous. In fact, many are telling the truth as they understand it. But some are not! This is by no way a comprehensive taxonomy of narrators, and even within a single story there are likely to be shifts and overlaps, but here are some Types I find helpful to consider:

Oblivious The reader doesn't get crucial information because the narrator simply was not paying attention. Maybe they were missing context. Maybe they were bored. Maybe they were distracted by a hot girl (Gideon I love you). Alternatively, the reader gets clearly false information (especially about how other characters are thinking or feeling) that the narrator wholeheartedly believes to be true (Breq I love you).

Repressed You the reader can tell that what the narrator's telling you they think/feel and what they actually think/feel are not the same, but the narrator themself has no idea. For narrators that lack self-awareness and don't understand why they do the things they do or for narrators that are really good at not looking at things that make them uncomfortable.

Liar (internal) The "Sure, you keep telling yourself that, buddy" version, where the narrator is on some level aware that they're lying to themself but doubles down on it anyway. Tends to involve a lot of rationalizing or misdirection. It's very common for a character to have a realization about something important partway through a story (that The System is corrupt, that they're in love with their best friend, that their actions are actually more self-serving than altruistic, etc) that makes them switch between Repressed (passive internal conflict) and Liar (active internal conflict). Or, you know, they might have a realization and not immediately start lying to themself about it, but where's the fun in that?

Liar (external) Usually shows up in first-person stories or in-universe writing, since it requires the narrator to be aware that they have an audience and be attempting to intentionally mislead them. In this case, there is a deliberate disconnect between what the narrator's understanding of events and the account of it they're giving for the purpose of spin or deception.

Coerced This is where the gap comes from an external factor, usually magic or sci-fi nonsense that messes with a character's mind and changes their perception of themself and/or reality, (eg they can't talk/think about a certain subject, they've had their memories altered, etc). It's a different flavor than the other sorts of unreliability and can overlap with any of the others depending of how aware the character is of what's been done to them.

How Obvious Is The Gap?

Another thing to consider is at what point, and to what extent, a reader becomes aware that a narrator is unreliable. Is it clear from the beginning? Is it played as a reveal? Is is a slow dawning realization? Is it something that you could overlook on a first readthrough that only becomes obvious once you put the pieces together? All of these can be effective, but it's good to know going in. If you want the narrator's unreliable nature to be a reveal (that is, there's a point where the reader realizes that they're lying and that recontextualizes the whole story), you're going to approach it differently than if you want your readers to be screaming about the dramatic irony from the beginning. If your point is that the reader shouldn't actually know how much of what the narrator's telling them is true, that's going to look very different than a story about a narrator who has an on-page realization about one of the big things they've been lying to themself about and has to navigate the consequences.

#writing #posts that are just me rubber-ducking at myself because i don't want to actually write the Hard Things #(one fic that's just All Repression All The Time with shades of Liar (internal) and one scene that's. um.#coerced dramatic-irony-horror slide from repression to liar while screaming)

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buckttommy · 12 days

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JACK! I am deeply curious to know where YOU stand/fall on the poll you posted?

Objectively speaking? Yes, they have endgame potential.

But a lot—and I mean A LOT—of work would have to go into moving that potential from a theoretical possibility to a genuine reality. Some of that work has already been done, what with Tim being intentional about developing a love interest for Buck that's not segmented away from the rest of the firefam, but that's the easy part tbh. They'd still have to 1) establish Tommy's character as a character unto himself, 2) define Buck and Tommy's relationship outside of the shadow of Buck and Eddie's relationship, 3) introduce a character that would be Eddie's endgame (because that's something you'd have to consider now that you're intentionally severing this will-they-won't-they bond between Buck and Eddie), and 4) convince the audience that these are the two endgame ships they should be rooting for without making them feel like they're being convinced, because that would blow the whole thing up in their faces instantly... all in a limited amount of time (9-1-1 isn't going to last forever).

So. Yeah. A lot of work.

All that to say, it's not impossible. I have a tentative idea for how it could work (a thought exercise, if-not-this-then-that)—what kind of character would need to be introduced for Eddie, what kind of archetypes would need to be in place for Tommy + Female Character, what kind of plots and tropes would need to unfold on-screen in order to not just neutralize the die-hard fans, but sway their opinions toward these two ships, etc. all by taking into account 9-1-1's existing and brand new audiences. But the writers/Tim would really need to sit with the decision and decide whether or not it's worth the effort to establish TWO endgame ships for their most popular characters when said characters are already six seasons deep into an accidental marriage with each other.

This is why I say that Buddie is only thing that makes sense. It's the only ending that does the characters and their journeys justice, sure, but it's so much more than that. There are layers—complicated and tangled layers—that would cost (literally!) more money to untangle than it would to just say "thank you" to the writing gods for hand-delivering an endgame ship on a silver platter and just going with the flow. You know? Yes, Buddie makes the most sense narratively. Of course, it does. But technically? It truly does not get much better than this.

You don't have to like it. You know? You don't have to like Buddie at all. But you have to recognize that this is the dynamic that most shows dream of—accidental or not. How they started—what was intended for their relationship—doesn't even matter now. What matters is where they are, and where they are is at a crossroads where they can either go with the flow, or do a complete overhaul that would run the risk of shattering everything. And, I have to give credit where credit is due—if anyone could pull this off, the 9-1-1 writers could. They are incredibly strong and skilled at what they do. But Tim et. al. need to make a choice, and they need to make it now, because if they wait too much longer, the story is going to start to drag. It's going to start to feel lazy. People aren't going to be satisfied with the "Buck and Eddie are getting their shit together so they can be ready for each other" excuse forever.

Now. Me personally? I'm in it for the long-haul. I love Buck and Eddie, I love Buddie, so whatever happens, I'm here for it. I've already said a thousand times over that their relationship could go canon at any point, even in the final episode (though I want there to be at least two seasons of them together before the show ends), and I would be completely satisfied with that. But we're rapidly approaching the point of no return, wherein Tim etc. need to make a firm decision and stick with it. If they've decided Buddie? Great. Good. Can't wait to see it. But if they've decided on something else, they're the ones that need to get their shit together and kick it into high gear quickly.

TBH.

But anyways.

#hmm #i'm going to stop talking now. lol #as you can see #i've thought about this. in great detail. lol. but anyways.#tv: 911 #jack answers mail

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shewholovestoread · 3 months

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Story of Kunning Palace - Jiang Xue Ning - Part 2

Part is here

NING'S ALLIANCES AND INFLUENCE - FIRST AND SECOND LIFE:

The one thing that stayed consistent with both 'lives' was Ning's ability to cultivate relationships with people around her. There is something about her that draws people to her.

In the first life, she had Zhou Yinzhi and You Fangyin. Zhou Yinzhi was never truly trustworthy, always more interested in furthering his own ambition and keeping his neck safe. The only reason he stayed loyal to Ning was because her ambition far outpaced his own. You Fangyin's loyalty was purer, she stayed by Ning's side even at the cost of her own life and safety.

In the second life, things are very different, with Ning trying to actively make changes and in doing so, she won over and also changed so many people she came into contact with.

There was of course You Fangyin, who remained steadfast as ever. But her relationship with Yan Lin matured. She was open and upfront that while she cared immensely for him, she was not in love with him and he took it well. (I'll do a deep dive on the relationships in a separate post) Same with Shen Zhi Yi, she went from someone who actively harassed Ning in life 1 to becoming one of her staunchest supporters and protected her in the court (true love and probably the healthiest of all her potential suitors). Then we have Xie Wei, who probably underwent the greatest amount of growth. And finally Zhang Zhe and with him, she actively tried to undo the mistakes of her past.

NING'S PERSONALITY:

One of the aspects that I loved about Ning is that, whether it was life 1 or 2, she was very clear when it came to her objective. She pursues her goal with a single-minded focus and is capable of thinking ten steps ahead while keeping track of possible obstacles. In the novel, we have access to her thoughts quite a bit of it is just inner monologue) and they’re great insight into her character and her growth through the story.

Her arc in life 1 is a great example of just how dedicated she in when she sets her mind on something. Think about it, she becomes the empress with all of the cards stacked against her, with no backing at all, it was all her own doing. That is admirable and impressive.

Ning thinks that in life 1, she was too clever for her own good and all she wants to do in life 2, is stay under the radar and live a boring life. In most other stories, there would have been a perceivable shift in her thinking, like she would be more noble after being humbled in her first life, and that’s just not the case. She is still very much the same person, capable of being just as callous and cruel as she used to be. This aspect is more clear in the books because we have access to her thoughts. I was concerned about how they would pull this off in the show, but thankfully they did a great job.

She remains cunning and conniving throughout the story, it’s just that she chooses to focus her considerable mental resources to protect she comes to care about. And she is single-minded in that regard as well, even willing to put her life on the line if it means that she can save them (when she was willing to whisk away Shen Zhi Yi, while fully aware of what it would cost her.)

CONCLUSION:

Was Ning “evil” in her first life? She did what everyone around her was doing and continued to do throughout the narrative with the Xue family vying for control of the court, Xie Wei with his own vengeful vendetta among others. Are her actions somehow more heinous because she dared to be ambitious and work to make that ambition a reality?

Under that hardened shell was someone who was deeply hurt and let down by all those around her, it is any surprise then that she would want a modicum of control over the course of her own life? We have this idea in our heads that people, specifically women, should be kind to the people around them and I reject that idea. Ning didn’t have to be kind and if she did, who should she be kind to, her useless family, the people who mocked her or the women who tried to trip her up?

Ning tells us that, in the previous life, she reached the zenith of power by using people indiscriminately and she very clearly views this in a negative light. But I don't think that's necessarily true.

Let's review shall we, the person she dumped most callously was Yan Lin. After he loses his family and is exiled, Ning tries to convince Shen Lang to bring him back, in fact, this was something she always intended to do.

We can assume (like in life 2) that she actively took care of and protected You Fangyin which is why she stayed by her side. I think Fangyin is an inherently decent person, if she found Ning being genuinely evil (like the Xue family) I don't think she would have stuck around.

When she realised that she was at the end of her rope in life 1, she chose to sacrifice herself to save Zhang Zhe's life. She didn't need to do that. If she was truly as callous as she thought she was, she would not have spared another thought for him.

I think that Ning is her own greatest critic. Taking into account, the setting of the story, Ning sees her ambition as dishonourable. Women are meant to work behind the scenes and not make too much noise. Power struggle within the harem? Perfectly fine, because that is a woman's space. But the wider society? How dare a woman have ambitions beyond marriage and children! While Ning is fairly progressive, she's not immune to the subconscious social prejudices of her time.

It is no surprise then that Ning thinks she was evil but as the viewer/reader, we know that she’s far from that. She’s not the conventional, dull, do-gooder female lead we usually get. Instead, in Ning, we have a nuanced and complicated female protagonist who takes back the reins of her life. She is calculating and manipulative but she is also capable of being incredibly selfless. She uses her skills to protect her loved ones but also does not shy away from using those same skills to take down people who would do her and hers harm.

#the story of kunning palace #cdrama #sokp #jiang xuening #bai lu #palace romance #xie wei #shen zhiyi #you fangyin #character meta #character breakdown #kunning palace #chinese drama #chinese dramas

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bettsfic · 11 months

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I feel like I need to write faster so that I can one day be published. Like, I need to have already written x amount of books to improve my craft. Now I can work on a big project that I can hopefully query later. But I’m still at the practice stages and it feels like I’m being too slow to get to my dream. And I truly hate calling my “practice” projects practice projects because it feels like they aren’t valid when I do. But it has been recommended to me to start off practicing before I do my more complex story ideas. I’m trying not to rush my writing but it feels like that’s the only way to reach my goal. I truly feel like the slowest writer: spending months on outlining and over a year on first drafts. How can I be a professional one day if this is my process?

i answered a similar question about feeling the pressure to write a lot in this post, where i offer my own publishing timeline.

the thing is, there's no such thing as practice projects. the concept of practice implies an eventual performance. a performance is temporal. it can only happen in the moment, like a sport or a concert. it can be recorded for posterity, but the actual reality of it happens in a present that can't be recreated.

poetry, prose, and art are all eternal things. when words are printed to paper, they become a tangible object. there is no single moment you're working toward. and because of that, there's no practice. there's only drafting and revision. that's all writing is and can ever be. no one gets better at writing. you can only get more patient with your process, and find more familiarity in the agony of the unknown.

getting a book published isn't the birth of your story; it's the death of it. it's its final resting place. the life of a story happens while you're writing it. everyone who reads it thereafter is only experiencing what is to you a memory.

so publishing is wildly overrated. just last year i won a grant with a story that hasn't been, and will probably never be, published. two weeks ago i got accepted into a prestigious residency with an excerpt of a story that wasn't (at the time of applying) published. i got accepted into a PhD program on a writing sample that was published, but the publication folded and now no one can access that story anymore. i signed an agent with a short story collection that got a lot of interest but nobody wanted to pick it up.

i just finished a novel i'm pretty confident will sell sometime in the next decade, but that's not what i set out to do with it. i set out to experiment with something, not thinking i'd ever publish it and so the stakes were very low. all i did was follow a small idea around and ask it questions like an annoying kid whose curiosity can never be satisfied. and around the 75k mark i thought: oh, this is the thing.

but the 6ish novels before that will never see the light of day. those weren't practice novels. they're novels that either have no place in the current market for whatever reason, or they're novels that aren't yet doing the work i want them to do, and i don't know how to tackle a revision. i've had to write 3 million words to get to the 30k or so words i've formally published. those 3 million words weren't practice projects. they were the real deal. but sometimes the resting place of a story is a locked drawer.

that can be sad. devastating. but you're allowed to be sad about work that doesn't reach your initial ambitions. there are no practice projects, but you can practice coping with all the complicated and uncomfortable emotions of the creative process. you can practice facing your fear of failure, which over time will get smaller and smaller as you continue to set goals and fail to reach them. eventually you'll succeed, but that success probably won't look like what you think it does.

honor your interests, your process, the next page, next sentence, next word. pursue what's right in front of you and forget the rest.

#writing advice #process

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leventart-den · 6 months

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Interactive ZoSan fanfic. Ch.01

AN:

Hello dear Straw Hearts!

So here we begin our journey with the first chapter of the interactive ZoSan fanfic. Please remember that I am not a writer and English is not my native language. But I will try and I hope we all have fun. I have some ideas but your choices are what decide where the story goes. In the vote, you chose that our story will take place in the canonical One Piece setting. But since I have not yet seen many events and am not familiar with all the characters (I only just met Brook in the anime at the time of writing this but I happily spoiled some things for myself so I know roughly Sanji's story), my vision may conflict with canon. There may also be spoilers here, so be careful. This first chapter is just setting up the scene.

If you prefer to read on AO3, then the first chapter is here.

This is also beta-readed by wonderful @dad-cahoon ! Thank you so much for your help!

So, without further ado, buckle up and let our journey begin!👀

***

-= My 4am Sun =-

Ch.01 "Distraction and consequences"

Sanji really thinks that Zoro will be the end of him one day. One way or the other. He's such a distraction. And he doesn't even know about it. And Sanji would never tell him. His sword work is blinding. Every time it catches the light and the glare hurts his eyes and Sanji hates it. He hates how it makes him freeze and silently demands “look at me.”

Look at me.

Look.

And Sanji looks.

Because he can't not.

And he stares.

Because no one really knows but Sanji loves.

He loves endlessly all the big and small things in this world that he finds beautiful. And now he loves how the 4am sun embraces the swordsman and grazes the steel of his swords. It stole the breath away from him in the same way it did on that momentous day when Zoro took a blow from Mihawk with his arms open and his gaze determined. Something shifted in him that day. Something sparkled and he treasures it still, keeps safe deep in his heart. Sanji will never admit it but Zoro became someone special to him that day. Someone he looked up to and strived to become in some way. Zoro was strong, passionate, and a man of his word. He was ready to follow his dream no matter what. Sanji was the same in some parts. Objectively speaking he was strong and passionate himself, but he always lacked self confidence. He always sought so much less of himself. Although It was always compensated for by him trying his best. And actually doing his best no matter what circumstances he was in (no, we are not talking about his weakness for women in this house). But nevertheless, Sanji was almost always blind to his own achievements. He never praised himself, even a little, and took the praise of others as if it was the biggest treasure. He never thought of himself as deserving anything good but still he dreamed of kindness and love and friendship..

And he always wanted to be friends with Zoro. And after all these years, he kind of thought they were. Even though from an outsider's view their friendship looked more like hatred, in reality it was just rivalry and they both loved it, at least Sanji thought Zoro liked it too.

Sanji enjoyed their bickering and fights, he truly did. But there were times when he could get tired of it. In those moments he really wished they could have a “calm” friendship. Sanji tried from time to time to guide their relationship in that direction, but Zoro never got the message. It always ended up with sharp jokes, insults, or fights and every time Sanji–with an inner sigh–followed Zoro's lead.

But also Zoro sometimes surprised Sanji by looking weirdly happy, or even proud when seeing the cook coming to the fight scene. It really throws Sanji off every time because he doesn't know what to think of it. It is too weird. And other times Sanji thinks that Zoro may even care for him. Like that time on the sea train when Zoro screamed at him to not go along further and wait for them because it was too dangerous. Of course it was turned into a joke in the end, but nevertheless. And if Sanji would be honest it drives him crazy every time. Every time he thinks they may have their “ordinary friendship” moment, Zoro snatched it away as fast as his swordwork. And once again Sanji sighs and goes along. Although to be fair, Sanji himself often starts the fight or bites first so he has nothing to complain about, really. Right?

Right.

So, he's completely okay with not having a normal friendship with the stupid mosshead.

It's only fair, he thinks. And dives down at the last moment, barely avoiding a killing blow from the enemy. It's a really bad idea to be distracted right now, in the middle of the battle on the deck of their ship. Sanji was actually starting to feel tired, and not only him, judging by the way others were fighting. The attack happened suddenly, late at night. A huge ship appeared as if out of nowhere, fortunately Zoro, who was on watch, quickly raised everyone. Their opponents were fast and tiring. And there were many of them. Although the entire attack was strange, as if they had a specific goal unknown to the Straw Hat Pirates. And their captain hasn't even shown up yet. They were also terribly silent, making the atmosphere of the battle sickeningly depressing and oppressive. Sanji and everyone else were used to the fact that their opponents were usually loud, demanding attention to their person, no matter how deadly, the atmosphere was almost always like a chicken coop fight. Noisy, bright and reckless. That's probably why Luffy loved these moments so much. He had a lot of fun, of course, when the situation wasn't life-threatening for his nakama. But now even their captain looked out of place.

Suddenly, Sanji felt a long-forgotten but familiar chill running down his back. That kind of dark anxiety that cannot be explained because there is no reason for it.. But nevertheless, something inside begins to scream heart-rendingly, “run!”

And perhaps Sanji would have run, if in the next moment he had not felt a firm push of someone's palm to his back. Everything around seemed to freeze for a moment, for one painful heartbeat. The place where palm touched felt numb, but after a moment there was a tingling spreading throughout his body along with an increasing ringing in his ears. His head started to hurt. For a second he thought something had snapped inside him and a terrible heat exploded. He couldn't even scream.

He took a breath.

And blinked.

And time seemed to rush forward again, drowning him in a cacophony of sounds

He felt confused. What just happened? Where was he? What was he doing?… Why is it so light already?

He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a familiar voice next to him.

"Hey Sanji! I'm terribly hungry, can you cook something? No, not something, meat! A lot of meat!" Luffy slapped him on the shoulder as he passed by, making him step forward from the force of the impact. He shouldn't have though. Of course, their captain was many times stronger than any of them, but such a movement should not have moved Sanji so easily. He almost lost his balance. He felt shaken.

He blinked again, gritting his teeth and realizing that there was no cigarette in his mouth. He couldn't light a new one though. Not now, when his hands are shaking so much, hastily hidden in his pockets.

He looked around. Everyone went in different directions. The battle was over, they were moving away from the smoking ship of the unknown pirates behind them. Judging by the sun, it was now about eight in the morning. He lost time.

He lost time.

Sanji swallowed nervously. He should think about something else. He can't spiral now. He can't fall apart. Not here where everyone can see him. He must be just tired... There is no reason to worry and especially no reason to give others reasons to worry. It sounded stupid even in his own head, but he has no choice but to persuade himself like this at such moments. He has a lot of practice. He just needs to hold on a little longer.

And he will.

He always does.

He exhaled, glad that Luffy did not wait for his answer and apparently did not notice his confusion. He will think about everything later, but now he needs to get to breakfast. Everyone is probably terribly exhausted and needs to replenish their strength. Sanji would make them the best breakfast he could. Something from rice. And not at all because the stupid Marimo loves rice dishes. Again. Sanji will never admit it, but he loves to surprise that stupid swordsman. He feels it as a small victory and grins proudly every time he sees that he likes his food.

He thought to himself as he walked to the kitchen and desperately tried to ignore the trembling which threatened to take over all of him. Nervousness was creeping through his entire body and as soon as the door to his personal temple slammed shut, hiding Sanji from prying eyes, he leaned against it wearily, hastily taking out a new cigarette and lighting it. It took him several attempts before a small flame touched the tobacco tip. He took a drag and exhaled, closing his eyes and resting the back of his head on the wooden surface.

He lost time. A few hours. What happened at that time? Has he passed out? Is he even awake now? No, no. He can't go there. He will drive himself crazy. He can't afford it. He must trust his crew. If he's passed out and it's a dream, they'll wake him up. If not, then to hell with it. Whatever happened during the lost time is not so important if no one asked him about it.

As if in mockery, the hand mark on his back reminded him of itself with an already familiar numbness, as if someone else's palm was still touching him. It was disgusting.

"Fuck." His hand hit the wall before he even thought about what he was doing. He desperately tried to convince himself that everything was okay, but the truth is that he is scared to the guts. Sanji takes a breath and relaxes the fingers that he hadn’t noticed he had clenched into a fist.

Okay…

Okay.

Breakfast.

Taking another drag from his cigarette and exhaling through his nose, Sanji determinedly headed to the countertop, gathering the necessary ingredients as he went. After washing his hands, he took out a cutting board and a knife, forcing his hands to stop shaking, feeling the pressure in the back of his head starting to build up again. It made his ears ring disgustingly. He ignored it, clenching the cigarette between his teeth and starting to chop the vegetables. He will do what he should do. For what he became a member of this crew. Sanji would not allow himself to be a burden or a problem for this team. For his team, he corrected himself. Because he's part of it. He should not forget or deny it, even if at times he considers himself unworthy.

His knife made the first “knock”, cutting through the vegetables and connecting with the board.

It sounded oddly muffled.

He blinked.

Sanji watched dumbfoundedly as something was burning in a frying pan. He choked on his breath, dropping the extinguished cigarette from his mouth and hurried to turn off the heat, putting the frying pan aside. Feeling the world shift from the sudden movement, he hurried to grab the countertop to steady himself. A cold shiver ran through his body, his heart was pounding wildly, and his bones and muscles ached as if he had just taken a severe beating. Sanji sucked in a raspy breath, watching with incomprehension as dark blood dripped onto the surface of his precious kitchen, staining it. He touched his face, feeling the warm stickiness running down his lips and chin.

This was wrong.

He never bled out of the blue.

Sanji heard laughter coming from somewhere outside and winced. He hurried to the sink, washing the blood from his face and then wiped the countertop with a napkin, tossing it in the trash and throwing the scraps on top.

He almost sank to the floor after that, but kept himself on his feet, making an incomprehensible quiet whining sound through his teeth, full of anger and something deeply painful.

He felt weak.

Again.

He didn't understand what was happening or why.

He will be a burden to them.

He did not want that.

Fucking hell.

He didn't want it.

His eyes stung, but he took a breath. He must stop.

Breakfast.

He looked around the kitchen. Everything was ready, all that remained was to set the table.

Whatever happened to him during the lost time, his body apparently continued to work. That was good.

A small mercy.

He took another breath and lit another cigarette. His body ached, but felt calmer. It felt as if it was healing. Maybe it was.

Okay.

He will set the table, get through breakfast and then decide what to do.

He's not weak. Not anymore. He can handle it.

Sanji felt something was torn somewhere in his body, he felt cold. He spat the blood into the sink and washed it off with water.

He'll get through this, damn it.

TBC.

====================================

If you made it to the poll you probably read the chapter, so thank you for that!

It's time to decide where the story will go next! Keep in mind that some choices may lead to similar results just in a different way.

#sanji #zosan #zoro #one piece #black leg sanji #roronoa zoro #vinsmoke sanji #sanji is not a vinsmoke #ZoSan fanfic “My 4am Sun”#Leventart interactive fanfic #sanji angst #zosan angst #zosan fanfic #mention of blood #hurt Sanji #Sanji whump #4am sun meaning will be explained #if I missed any important tags let me know

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the-bjd-community-confess · 1 month

Text

TW: Sexualization of (fictional) minors discussion/CSA mentions

Mod: Batch post 2 to help people avoid the topic if needed.

1. Idc, people who don’t dress and photograph YOSDs like children are creepy af. If you’re dressing your YOSD in lingerie that’s weird as hell and gross.

~Anonymous

2. "child sex sells" what the fuck is wrong with you? shut the fuck up. touch grass. see light. no the hell it does not. can you be fucking normal for five goddamn minutes? god just delete tumblr and get the fuck away from this and all other hobbies you are the worst sort of human being and i hope you get the help you desperately need because you are seeing child abuse in everything and that, i promise you, is a freakass problem to have. why are you like this???

~Anonymous

3. did NOT want to read the vomitous take of "ch*ld s*x sells" on the doll blog today!!!

~Anonymous

4. fandoms full of """child abuse"""

hi mod it's me again, i'm sorry in advance but this fucking topic makes me actually furious and as long as the most sheltered infants on earth continue to submit brain-dead takes on this subject, i'm going to keep showing up in your dms. CW for discussion of actual abuse, hard subjects in general, etc.

(i would put the read more here) [Mod: I hope you don't mind this format instead Anon, this confession deserves its own post but I want to shield readers from the topic if possible with the batchposting 💜]

ok but that's just it, as a fucking csa survivor, most of the "fandoms full of CSA" literally! have none of that! whatsoever! in any capacity! you shitty godforsaken little heathens call sfw romance between two fictional teenagers in a tv show incest-coded, you call grown ass-adults in animated works "child-coded" and justify that as the same as goddamn ABUSE OF REAL LIFE HUMAN BEINGS, and you doxx creators and send them death threats and clog up report lines for real life actual human victims about your fictional bullshit. you are the worst and i want you and anyone who reads this and feels offended by this description to know that you are helping no one and annoying everyone.

do you know what real victims are victimized by? not fiction. not any fiction. not inanimate objects! literally write a story about fictional children being victimized for the plot, and it will not hurt me. if it hurts you, fair! stop reading it. go outside. your Personal Discomfort is not you being abused. learn the fucking difference perhaps! it will not make me... do you have any idea how hard it is to talk about this without getting so extremely goddamn personal? do you have any idea how much it sucks to have to have this discussion over and over and over? do you realize that roughly 10 years ago everyone with a braincell agreed on this point and it's only the last decade that people have been so radicalized to think that wrongthink is real? no, of course not, because most of the people who believe that fiction and reality are 1:1 in how one affects the other have no practical experience with any of the subjects upon which they have the audacity to speak.

listen. i am not going to go into my upbringing. i am not going to tell you what it was like to be raised in a household like mine where actual abuse was genuinely normalized. all i will say is that i was raised in a culture where this sort of abuse was normal and certain types of relationships between adults and minors were considered... sanctioned by the powers that be. are you picking up what i'm laying down? do not talk to me about your good intentions. the fucking argument that fictional content, drawings and toys and all that other inconsequential shit, that it's tantamount to a crime? buddy. bestie! amigo! compadre! that's the same logic that was used to make sure my upbringing was as sheltered and controlled as possible so that the "corrupting influences" of the outside world didn't give us the "wrong ideas". like i truly don't know how you did it but you've reinvented the toxic mindset i grew up hearing! and you are completely blind to it. boggles my fucking brain.

i just want to shake the people who say this shit with a straight face. "wow so violent op maybe you're the toxic one" yeah boy i'm toxic i've been in therapy for most of my life and will continue to be until i am dead. the fucking DRAWING CARTOON PORN IS INDOCTRINATING MINORS WRITING StORIES WHERE BAD THINGS HAPPEN IS THE SAME AS HARMING A REAL HUMAN crowd are just the same religious wrongthink crowd with a more recent birth-year and a rainbow hat. "anyone can say anything online i don't believe you" cool i don't give a shit. how do you want me to prove it, doxxing myself? you wanna see the fucking recordings anon? think before you speak. first time for everything.

i like this hobby. i enjoy my dumb little dolls and their stupid little faces, i enjoy the peace in changing their style and redoing their faceups, i enjoy being able to represent a diversity of appearances, identities, to make everyone queer and slutty because i'm making up for the lost time in my life where that was not on the table for me. i do Not fucking relish seeing the braindead anti arguments creeping into this hobby and shitting up another thing that myself and other survivors would like to enjoy in peace and quiet.

so let me tell you, from the bottom of my heart, even though no one who needs to hear it will bother to listen to the words of a survivor because it goes against your superiority complex against those nasty fiction enjoyers:

shut the fuck up.

sincerely, god, everyone, and especially survivors of CSA and other abuse against minors.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #Community Confessions

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caesarflickermans · 3 months

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What appeals to you about Virgilia's character? What is your favorite part of her character?

Virgilia came to me during and in the aftermath of a family dispute that was rather minor in and of itself. It was a raw but not new moment — head on floor, tears in eyes, hands on ears. I'll leave that girl with the privacy she deserves, but it's an emotion turned image as a bystander, encapsulating my family dynamics in an eye-opening moment how they shaped my life as a minor and an adult.

I've written Virgilia very specific in the dynamics she has lived through and the dynamics she is living in; many women have walked a similar journey — whether it is their family, their partners (past or present) or any other close figure, whereupon the way they have been treated was abusive in all varieties of what abusiveness can entail; some of these sexist, some not. Living in such environments is the real experience of the frog in water beginning to boil. A deep fog of normalcy that surrounds us and turns us blind to reality. I've not been born into boiling water, but I was young enough whereupon there exists only a brief before.

Virgilia's journey is a representative, an accumulation of, and therefore a very extreme and intense image of many such lived realities. It's what came first to me about this character, and what made her so interesting to explore further. I've toyed with the idea of Snow's wife prior, somehow always having been a younger version and a second wife, who had been more akin to a femme fatale trope, and ultimately much more liveless and stereotyped because of it. Needless to say, those versions never stuck.

The emotional and mental effects of abuse are so often incorporated with the (sexual) violence faced, and while Virgilia is, too, a victim of sexual abuse, it was a very conscious decision to highlight the former in her journey. Abuse resulting in violence is at the centre of conversations surrounding the topic. From help centres to fictional representations, to me, being abused meant facing physical violence or the threat thereof. To this day, I don't identify with the term. In creating this character, I wanted it to be a story that has the emotional abuse at its forefront. Whereupon a sense of normalcy could grasp one much more easily because physical brutality is absent from one's life — then it's not real, right?

The Virgilia we meet at the start of SSLWR is an idealistic girl who dreams about her idealistic future life with a husband falling in love with her. It's an image taught to her by her family — the very same people who have raised expectations upon her on who to be. Her dreams would be vastly different if given the chance to live a self-determined life, and it is her family and the obligation she feels for them that colour her ideas of the marriage with Snow. Any kind of alarm bells have been taught for her not to ring.

The Virgilia right before she meets Plutarch is not that different. She has learned to survive in this life and has understood what her role and its expectations truly mean. Her love for Snow is both true and not true. She has found a role within the confides of this mansion, and she is playing it for as long as she possibly can. Some part of her, deep down, has a sense of this being wrongful, but it's the ever presence of her circumstances that she cannot realise the extent of those wrongs in this situation.

Plutarch is more than a love interest. He is a source of knowledge she has been craving that has been denied to her. He is patience embodied; allowing her time to develop thoughts and words to articulate herself. He views her not as an object, but an equal he respects and share his ideals with, both to voice his thoughts in her presence and consider her replies — granting them a place to grow and influence him in return. The relationship with him is vital not only in emancipation, but in showing that her ideals of the world — Virgilia is a romantic at heart — are not wrong in and of itself: It is the outside (her family, her husband) that twisted them into something rotten.

I am excited for what the future for Virgilia holds. I want the journey to be reflective of the people it is meant to reflect, which means that the path ahead is a difficult one. We left Virgilia in SSLWR in a moment where she developed her own agency as a vital step of this journey. We will see more of that — of Virgilia acting herself and doing rebellious acts for herself. But I explicitly did not want this character to shed all the past abuse she has faced. It is not realistic, nor a rewarding journey. I wanted her to retain her softness, her dream-like idea of the world, and the grievances she has faced and still faces. I want to see a character who overcomes her past while being shaped by it.

All of that is my favourite aspect of her character. It's her journey; and it's how and why this journey exists that is very close to my heart. Thinking about her, writing from her perspective, and walking this journey with her has aided in my own process of grappling with the past. I hope her story appeals to people from all walks of life, but I especially hope it gives air to those who need it.

#inbox #anon #she smelled like white roses #virgilia snow

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zv5x · 2 years

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What would Edward do if his darling (after he brings her home) is genuinely scared of him? Like she doesn’t fight him or any, just is in shock and cries because she doesn’t want to get hurt. What would he do to calm her down and transition his darling into ‘Stockholm Syndrome’?

Yan!Riddler • Terrified!Reader

warning for delusional and abusive mindsets, use of the yandere trope, toxic relationships, hostage situations, long term psychological abuse, Stockholm Syndrome/trauma bonding, restraining / "training"

❔In the situation where the object of his obsession shows terror because of him, rather than anger or resentment, the delusions he holds regarding his darling will only worsen. His original idea is that his darling is scared, alone and confused. He believes firmly that they need his love to operate, instead of believing in the reality that the situation highlights quite the opposite. He expects that his darling is just as needy and obsessive as he is, and a darling that is terrified of his image will be labeled as "shy" or "doe-like" rather than what they actually are expressing. The views and opinions of Edward's darling are not looked over, if not completely irrelevant. His nihilistic outlook on Gotham city life completely overtakes his ideas of psychological mercy, and will gladly force his darling into sessions of physical affecion because he believes his darling is scared of the city rather than of himself. In his eyes, you have no reason to be afraid anymore, but he still respects that you're being "careful when faced with someone you don't know". Whether that be because he thinks you're staying loyal for him, your soulmate, or because he thinks you're simply scared around any person who crawls in the city is up for minor debate.

💚 When it truly solidifies in Edward's mind that you're scared of him, however that realization makes its way past his defensive walls, he'll be disheartened to say the least. Though, he'll put it on his own shoulders to fix you. He'll spend his time scanning newspapers, looking for articles highlighting the worst of Gotham before looking for articles regarding himself or Batman. Helping you is at the forefront of his mind, and Edward will show you the dire situation at hand in the form of his very own presentation. Subway assaults, robbery's, domestic violence commited against women and children, he'll cut out snippets describing such and paste them all in a neatly organized notebook. On the contrary, he'll have stories prepared of how he's helped with the cleaning of this mess. Does the exploitation of women upset you? He's picked off a few politicians who did just that, so that's a few less women who have to worry now. Constantly looking over your shoulder because of robberies or general villains? You must know, he's followed you home ever since he first met you. Anyone who's thought to do something like that to you was completely shooed off or killed on the spot, so you didn't have to risk getting harmed. By the end of the night, he'll expect you to be thanking him in whatever way you see fit. Even staying silent will be enough for him, crying too. You're silent because you're shocked a citygoer could be so kind, or, you're crying tears of complete joy.

❔As a way to get you used to his company, Edward will force you into cuddle sessions of various types. Holding you in his lap, laying his head in yours, or anything else similar are all on the table for him. He'll give you the sweetest smile he can conjure up, just to see if that'll be enough to comfort you. As touched starved as he assumes you to be, you surely wouldn't mind if he gives you what you've been deprived of for so long right? Of course not. Regardless of whether or not you tremble in his touch, he'll equate it to a mother trying to soothe a crying baby rather than a hostage terrified of the possible concept of their demise.

The television echoed gently, on the lowest volume possible to allow for a gentle sleep. Your eyes slowly crept over to your side, focusing on one man sound asleep right next to you. He was in more of a sitting position, head laid back with a notebook left open on his stretched out legs. Edward had fallen asleep working again. The chain attached to your ankle rattled as it pulled against the edge of the bed. For a reason you did not yet recognize, you wanted to get closer to him. Immediately at the sound of the chain however, Edward's eyes fluttered open. You frowned at how light of a sleeper he happened to be, now feeling guilt at the fact you seemed to awaken him.

"Angel?" He yawned, letting his eyes fully adjust to his surroundings. Immediately suspicious considering the chain being what woke him up, Edward squinted at you. "Got somewhere to be?" His tone was laced with suspicion, like a police investigator interrogating a clearly guilty suspect. You shook your head, a genuine response on your end. The only sound was the hum of the television and the occasional light rattling of your chain. It didn't bother you nearly as much as it did when you first came. Now that you were looking at the situation with a clearer head, devoid of the fear you once had, you could see that despite everything he was clearly trying his best. Still, you couldn't help the slight shivers that crept up your spine whenever that man said your name, or anything for that matter. It was still there, there was no doubt about that. However, it was considerably less prominent.

You turned to him, surprising him with a smile. A grin spread across your face was the last thing Edward was expecting, and he couldn't help but smile back at the sight. Was this a sign you were finally coming around? Would the days pinning you against the bed screaming at you to stop struggling against him finally meet their end? He hoped so with every inch of his being, as punishing you for your fear of him wasn't something he wanted to do. From what he's heard however, to train someone you need to correct their behavior immediately. If Edward doesn't wish for you to be afraid of him, then the only reasonable option was for him to reprimand any repulsion or terror you externalize. All those hours poured into the research of such psychology was not wasted thankfully, as you seemed to finally be getting the message he was so desperately trying to give you.

"I don't think there's any place I'd rather be than here." Was all you said, forever sealing your fate and solidifying you never being able to walk the city streets again.

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deathbypixelz · 28 days

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I had a bit of a revelation today and wanted to share. As it deals with my experience as a woman, I'm going to preface with this: Trans women are women, and this post isn't for anyone who disagrees with that.

Also wanted to say I know pronouns don’t directly correlate with gender. “She/her” doesn’t only mean “woman”, etc etc.

With that out of the way, I wanted to talk about why I, a cis woman, prefer strangers to call me “he/him” and friends/family/etc. to call me “she/her”.

--- ---

Depending on who you are and how close we are, I either use she/her or he/him. If we know each other, and/or you’re queer as well, use she/her for me. If I don’t know you and you’re not queer in some way, I’d prefer if you use he/him. Seems arbitrary, and I guess on an objective level it is, but I wanted to share my thoughts on why I feel that way. Emphasis on feel: this is my personal experience and it has no bearing on anyone else’s.

As a kid, I had a moment when I looked away from my shows and books where the boys and men have emotions, go on journeys, and have character arcs, while the girls and women sit in the back without real emotion, only follow the men on journeys or don’t have journeys at all, and don’t grow as people, and realized “I’m also a person, like the boys are”. The flat, non-people who also happened to be women were who I’d been taught to associate with, but they weren’t like me, because I was a person. Now, I was working within the bounds of a very limited child’s understanding at the time. Obviously we’re all people, but only the men in those stories were allowed to be people. When women were people, I thought “she’s acting like a man”. Maybe the text even outright framed it that way. In reality, they were just given the traits of a person, which I’d been conditioned to associate with “man-ness”.

Later on, this subconscious association came back to bite me. For a time, I thought I was a demigirl or some variation thereof, because I didn’t fully identify with the definition of “woman” I’d been taught. I viscerally hate the idea of children/childbearing, I only very rarely wear makeup (and even then “it’s not the kind women wear”), I don’t dress in traditionally feminine ways, etc. And, well, I’m a person with her own thoughts and dreams and wants and fears. I simply don’t fit into that incredibly narrow, reductive, and specific cisheteronormative definition. I never have. So, at the time, I thought “I must not be a woman then.”

But using she/they and calling myself a demigirl didn’t feel right either. This was frustrating, because I wanted a name to call myself by. And “woman” was right for me… just not this society’s definition. After a lot of thinking I realized I had a different definition of woman, and so that settled that. I am a woman. Just not the kind we (90s/early 00s babies) were taught about.

I did want to say though: Defining “woman” is, I believe, impossible. As is defining “man”. Or any other gender. If you ask me, at the end of the day it’s an attempt to describe something that’s so subjective and variable and ethereal there’s almost no use trying. It’s just a “you know it when you see it” thing. Or I guess “you know it when you feel it”. I can’t truly define the cisheteronormative woman, and I can’t define my own version of woman, but I do know they’re not equivalent in the slightest.

So how does this relate to my two sets of pronouns? Well, when someone knows me, or when a stranger is also queer and thus I can trust already has a different understanding of these things, I can also trust they’re using she/her for me in a way that at least somewhat aligns with how I use it for myself. I use it to refer to my personal definition of “woman”.

But, when a non-queer stranger refers to me, “he/him” feels more appropriate. Because to my ears, a non-queer stranger’s “she/her” refers to a definition of woman that is simply not what I am. And when we must work within the incredibly limiting cishet binary, the cishet “he/him” is actually closer to my “she/her” than the cishet “she/her” is.

It’s like translating languages, if I must compare it to something. There is no true equivalent in “the cisheteronormative language” to my she/her. “He/him” is what comes closest.

For an example: I don’t put my pronouns out there when I’m playing video games, because I’m concerned about opening myself up to harassment; “she/her” in that environment often means “someone to pick on”. That’s less true nowadays than it used to be, thank fuck, but it’s still a concern of mine. By leaving myself undefined, the average cishet male gamer will assume and call me “he/him”, thus treating me as an equal. Because I am. We’re both people. “He/him” is the closest equivalent in his “language” to what my pronouns “actually” are.

…I don’t really know how to conclude this little essay. But I wanted to share, because I’ve never seen anyone talk about this sort of pronoun usage, and I figured it might help someone out there figure things out.

And once again: this is all my personal experience and view of things. You can disagree on every point, and that’s fine. That’s your truth. This is mine.

Gender is made up, pronouns are just words, do whatever you want forever.

#not art #lgbtq #queer

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true-blue-megamind · 2 years

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FAN THEORY SOMETIME EVENTUALLY: Hal is NOT Megamind’s Greatest Enemy

I’m back! Real life is consuming massive amounts of my time, so I’m afraid these Fan Theory Thursday posts have become sporadic. I'll try to write them as often as possible. Special thanks to Dalniente for suggesting this topic and sharing his fan theory! You rock! Please note: while fascinating, this blog article is going to get dark. IF DEPRESSION IS A TRIGGER, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! This post may also leave you with an uncontrollable urge to hug a certain blue super-genius. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Finally, if you are that single strange individual who has been reading these posts for over a year without actually watching the movie… Well, I’ve probably given away nearly everything already, but nonetheless: SPOILER WARNING!

It’s clear to any fan of this wonderful DreamWorks film that Megamind has been through a lot. Not only was our favorite blue hero ostracized, bullied, and raised in prison, but we see him facing yet more hardships during the narrative. In fact, according to one fan theory, although his triumph over Titan is the primary story arc, the super-stalker is not the greatest foe Megamind faces.

It all begins with the blue man’s emotional turmoil. As I’ve mentioned previously in Megamind’s Psychology, the film’s protagonist seems nearly obsessed, at least during the first half of the story, with both his presumed evil nature and the idea of destiny. In fact, it appears that this has led him to construct his entire self-identity around supervillainy—something that only changes when his preconceived notions do. Such a drastic alteration, however, is often painful, and this one was no different.

Megamind, at the beginning of the film, obviously feels that fighting a nemesis provided his only reason for existing. This is because Metroman unwittingly offered mental engagement as well as something to work toward. More specifically, their fights were a perfect excuse for Megamind to invent, plot, and challenge his own brain. Without this, the blue man feels unfulfilled and purposeless. He clearly states that fact while he and Minion discuss creating a new hero. The thing is that, as Dal suggested in the Evil Lair Discord, losing his former adversary doesn’t merely leave him without an objective, but also disrupts the very stability of his existence.

“He wants his life back,” Dal explained. “Literally, he says this: his goal with the infuser gun was to get his life back to the way it was ‘when the world was perfect and rosy.’”

The problem, of course, is that this is easier said than done. Megamind feels like a ship adrift in the ocean with no compass or destination, and like many of us would in those circumstances, he falls into making some bad decisions. Those choices only make his predicament worse. After losing the his excuse for the battles and inventions that gave his life meaning, Megamind begins a relationship with Roxanne under a false identity, has a massive argument with his only friend, Minion, and chooses the worst possible person to imbue with superpowers. (You can read more about what might have led to that particular misstep in Why Did Megamind Choose Hal.) All of this ends badly.

Let’s look at the argument first. Not only does the blue man likely feel terrible for hurting his friend—there is ample evidence that he does care about Minion—but, following their fight, his henchfish walks out, presumably for good. This is significant because it further destabilizes Megamind’s reality. Minion was far more than a, well, minion.

“It was Megamind and Minion against the world,” Dal said, describing that incident. “And now it is just Megamind.”

It must have been hard enough to be an isolated refugee from a destroyed planet, but without his only friend, the blue alien is truly alone. That loneliness further increases when Roxanne, the only other person to have positive interactions with Megamind during the film, rejects him.

This remains true even though Roxanne Ritchi’s feelings in that moment were both justifiable and reasonable. Upon discovering that the man she’d fallen in love with has been lying about his identity and is, in fact, the same supervillain who regularly kidnapped her, the woman feels understandably shocked, betrayed, and upset. However, it appears likely that that may not have been the way Megamind saw things. Once again, Dal offered some insights

“Roxanne is furious with him, and reacted to his feelings for her with something I read as shock and some incredulity, but which I think Megamind would be way more likely to read as disgust,” he stated. “She insinuates that she thinks he is truly evil, which he would be very willing to believe, at this point.”

Heartbreak is never easy, but when it follows on the heels of other personal hardships it can be even more devastating. The blue man’s emotional response to this final blow is beautifully portrayed in his shattered expression and a single hopeless word: “no.” This is because Megamind truly doesn’t believe she would ever be with him. (He states later on that, being the bad guy, he can never “get the girl.”) This is precisely why he found it impossible to reveal his true identity to his date—although, to his credit, it appeared he was attempting to summon the courage to do so before his disguise failed. He believed that the only way he can have even a taste of romance is by pretending to be someone else.

Add to all of this the setback in the blue man’s emotional growth and it’s not difficult to see why he might be so strongly affected. As mentioned in an earlier post, The Warden, there is evidence that Megamind was pushed into supervillainy from a young age. Thanks to his interactions with Roxanne and a little initial reevaluation of his life, he had started to believe that perhaps he actually could be good until everything fell apart. As a result, his journey to heroism stalls and, had his integrity or will been less strong, he might have abandoned it permanently.

When the cumulative impact of these events is considered from a psychological standpoint, it is frankly amazing that Megamind’s melancholy is not even more severe. He has essentially lost his job, so to speak, his sense of purpose, his best friend, and the girl of his dreams all in a short period of time. As Dal expressed it: “as far as he knows, he has lost everything.” Considering that, when this occurred, he was already emotionally scarred by being orphaned, bullied, and raised in incarceration, the man’s resilience is certainly noteworthy. However, that doesn’t mean he was immune; far from it. Dal pointed out how one scene, following his breakup, illustrates exactly how bad Megamind’s emotional state had become.

“When he gets back to the Evil Lair, he has not slept. Minion is still gone… And [Megamind] does not sleep. He gears up to fight Titan in an untested battle suit, and says that line about: ‘It's time to go down in style.’”

At first glance, viewers might assume that the blue man is referring to Titan going down, or perhaps to himself inevitably losing the battle and returning to jail, but Dal suggested that the statement may hide a darker meaning. Megamind might, on some level, intend for this battle to be his last. It’s possible that what he really means is that he wants to go out with a proverbial bang.

That’s right. Megamind, at this point in the movie, has developed situational depression, perhaps even passive suicidal ideation. He has hit rock-bottom, he feels his life has crumbled into pieces, and his actions have become reckless.

“I do not think Megamind cares a whole lot, in that moment, whether he comes back from this fight at all,” Dal explained. “I think he is desperate and angry and upset and self-destructive… But also, he does not actually want to die. This is an important distinction. He wouldn't mind being dead but he does not want to die; he wants his life back.”

This fan theory makes sense. Keep in mind that re-establishing the status quo was, after all, the entire reason for creating the Infuser Gun in the first place. What the former villain really wanted in that scene was to return a sense of stability, order, and purpose to his existence. This may also be why, when everything else falls apart, Megamind appears to fixate on his battle with Titan.

“We see this in the way he interacts with Titan,” Dal stated. “He waits for HOURS before going to see wtf is up. He is dismayed to realize how far sideways his ‘turn Hal into a hero’ plan has gone, and he pulls out all the stops in goading Titan into fighting after all. He does not stop to think about whether this is a bad idea—he does not care. Titan is the one shot he has at restoring some sense of familiarity to the world… And he gets what he's looking for! He is so relieved to finally lose. Finally, for a few bright seconds, the world makes sense.”

That brief moment of emotional and mental clarity is also what jolts Megamind into action when he realizes Titan is homicidal. After reveling in a feeling of renewed purpose, the blue man suddenly realizes that his life can still have stability. That completely changes his outlook.

“At this point I think he is probably back to wanting to live, because this is where he finally displays some self-preservation. He felt okay for like three whole seconds and a fight; it's enough to get him into a less awful head space and into survival mode,” Dal said.

When Titan begins destroying Metro City, it pushes Megamind to overcome his internal struggles because he sees that the problem is much larger than its immediate effects on himself. This is important for three reasons: it reconnects Megamind with the world around him, proves that despite being a supervillain he possesses empathy, and provides him with a new purpose. All at once, the blue man understands that his reason for living doesn’t have to come solely from having a nemesis; it can be something bigger and more meaningful than that.

Thus Megamind defeats his greatest enemy: depression. The fact that he has to face this particular monster during the course of the narrative makes the former villain both more realistic and more impressive. It’s relatively easy to fight another person compared to battling darkness within yourself, and actually conquering the latter takes enormous strength of character. Yet Megamind does exactly that, becoming a better man and building a better life as a result. It serves to offer a message of hope to others fighting the same foe. The inclusion of such a deep and mature theme in this animated film is simply one more reason why it is one of the greatest things DreamWorks has ever produced. Little wonder that so many, even among adults, are devoted fans of this amazing movie.

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renegade--soul498 · 2 years

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I've already seen the story of A Plague Tale Requiem thanks to gameplays on YouTube and God...this game was certainly a journey and an experience.

Without spoilers: the game truly touched my heart, took it out, squeezed it, did whatever the fuck it wanted with it, and left me with what was left. It was a journey full of hope, fear, deception, beauty, comradeship, friendship, love, faith... It tells the experience of war, how it affects you, the burden of surviving and living with scars, the burden of choice and dealing with the consequences of those choices, the importance of letting go... Honestly, A Plague Tale Requiem was worth all the months of waiting.

Now with spoilers from here on...

From beginning to end, I had this sense of calm before the storm. This is an era (Middle Ages) where life doesn't go as we want or expect it to; people are ruthless, careless, greedy, and selfish, so they'll do whatever is in their reach to get their objective.

I believe the Macula is just what Lucas and Amicia said by the end: punishment for all the dark deeds of humanity back then; and we see this in Hugo's reaction to all of it. He tries to prevent conflict, to save others, to protect the ones he cares about. We can see it right away in Chapter I when the beekeepers find Tonin and he tries to save him, he hates that people can be cruel to each other. Still, the Macula is difficult to handle as it's connected to his feelings as well, and he's just a five-year-old who's getting used to the world around him: he doesn't get ahold of his emotions. And throughout the game he never does, because in the end that's his drive, how he feels about the world he's learning to love. (Sincerely, it's the first time I've thought so much about the study of a child character but Hugo was the "perfect" representation of innocence in a cruel world, and how that innocence increasingly becomes darker and stained).

Moving on to Amicia... I believe by the end most of us get the idea that she's just traumatized by all the fighting she had to endure, how she was thrown into fighting without wanting to just to survive and protect. The contrast between Innocence and Requiem is palpable: Amicia is not a cold stranger anymore, but she's assuming her role as big sister, protective and lenient, comprehensive and understanding, playful but careful to Hugo's wishes, games, and attitudes. It's amazing and incredible how wholesome she is in the best moments, and how deadly she can be when backed against the wall. She fights because she thinks it's the only choice she has, because if she doesn't fight, she'll die and everyone she cares for will die as well. As Hugo said in the last chapter, it's the only thing that keeps her going; as Vaudin said when they first met, it's her flame – her wrath. And because that goes unchecked, it affects her mentally and psychologically in a way that doesn't let her really rest, which is what they all want in the end: rest from all the fighting, the running away, the deception, the lies, and cruelty of the world. (I also believe that this might speak of how we as people fight for what we want everyday but sometimes we just have to take a break from everything because we're not invincible? Amicia's character is something really beautiful once you get her journey).

In the end, Requiem is a call for mercy, it's the end of innocence, the assumption of responsibility, the death of hope, the care of trust, the importance of family and bonds. It's truly a masterpiece that grasps the reality of war and life well: not always things will go your way, and you have to live with those things whether you like it or not, and sometimes sacrifices must be made for the sake of others.

Getting out of the seriousness, and getting really biased: I truly want Requiem to get nominated for Game Of The Year, it deserved it. I said it before: I don't care if it doesn't win, I want it to at least be nominated. The De Rune's story is beautifully tragic but I enjoyed it thoroughly, it was worth all the months of wait. I hope it doesn't go under the radar like Innocence and I hope it goes around more because this story deserves to be known all around.

#a plague tale #a plague tale requiem #a plague tale: requiem #amicia de rune #hugo de rune #my thoughts #my opinion

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thinkingandthonking · 7 days

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"Reality is Subjective"

To me this is a big "gateway" into spirituality stuff. The first idea I struggled with and rejected the most, but also opens up the most interesting things!

It's easier when broken into chunks. Would love to hear your thoughts on them or additions to this!

#1 Our entire experience of reality is from our own limited senses and perspectives * We only see through light that reflects into our eyes, and reaches the brain. * We only hear through the sounds that vibrate our eardrums, and how our brain interprets those vibrations. * We only physically feel our own skin or nerves, and the way they react to and interpret other objects - we don't actually feel them.

Essentially, our entire experience of reality, from birth to death, goes through the translation that is our body and mind. We can never experience anything outside of ourselves, without some "part of us" influencing the experience, some conditioning, bias, or biology.

"But reality still exists outside of that! If something happens in reality, it still happens to everyone's subjective experience, no?" I thought...

What helped this click for me first was Stoicism, and the preamble in Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (another gateway drug...)

#2 An allegory of Stoic philosophy, paraphrased:

Two different, unrelated men live in a large building. The building burns down. In an objective "reality", that affects them both the same way. A burnt down residence.

Internally, one man mourns. "This is a tragedy." he thinks, and it is. All of his belongings and attachments gone, something he feels devastated by, something he might never recover from.

The other man, a stoic/religious/maybe even delusional person, thinks "This is God's / Nature’s / Logos’s / Karma’s will. It is all in their plan. This is a challenge to overcome and grow from." - And if he believes and feels it truly, then to his experience of the event, it is. There is no grief or suffering here. Or at least, it is miniscule. Detached.

In the "objective" reality, they both have similar next steps to do. Recover, move on, find a new residence or rebuild, get the things they need or want back somehow. The struggle is inevitable for both.

One will do it under a tremendous psychological and emotional burden, in constant suffering. One will do it matter-of-factly, just another part of his life dictated by forces outside of his control.

Is this not what religion, faith, spirituality or philosophy all about? The easing of suffering, being more aligned with reality as it is? The house is BURNED, it's already reality. Is SUFFERING inherent to that though, or at least to such an extreme degree?

Or can some people walk out of that experience grateful for what they still have, and others walk out of it in permanent despair?

And is one really lying to himself more than the other? Or do they both just have belief systems and emotions that dictate what is "really happening" for them? Just subjective perspectives.

#3 Whether reality as a whole is subjective or not is irrelevant Either one is just a belief, an interpretation. How would we know? The point is that our experience of things is what really matters to us, and that is more malleable than we believe! In the way that we experience life, it might be that perceiving reality as subjective is the easier, healthier, happier way to live.

A focus on your actions and capabilities rather than on results outside your control, events caused by outside forces. Use whatever technique or philosophy you can to make you accept this, and you'll be more at peace. Life becomes simpler, more enjoyable. We can still act to change things, we just don't have to victimize ourselves to do it.

Life will always shoot arrows your way, why should you shoot yourself too if it doesn’t even really help? (The Second Arrow parable) The chinese proverb of the farmer & the missing horse ("Maybe so, maybe not" or "The Maybe Story") explores this to. Our interpretation is what matters.

There are probably many other "chunks" to this idea or ways to consider it, especially when getting into Self-inquiry and Non-duality (what IS subjectivity? What is the border between self and world? What is really happening here and now?)...

If you have your own take on this, would love to hear it!

#blog #spirituality #meditation #consciousness #philosophy #journal #Processing-it-all #Processing2 #Reality #Subjectivity #Stoicism

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archduchessofnowhere · 1 year

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What is the most historically accurate film of Sisi you have seen?

Can you rank all of them you have seen from most historically accurate to least?

what one is your favorite?

thank you!

Hello! One of my major goals (?) on this blog is to make an Ultimate Tier List of Sisi Adaptations, but I still haven't been able to. But here is an overview of the media that I've watched so far, ranked for most "accurate" to the least:

Sisi (2009): By far the most historically accurate Sisi portrayal that exists. I've already talked about it a bit the other day, but this mini series covers from Elisabeth's engagement until her coronation as Queen of Hungary, and includes important events such as her daughter's death in 1857, the Italian War of 1859, Elisabeth's illness and departure to Madeira, the abuse her son Rudolf suffered in hands of his tutor and her intervention to stop it, among other things. We even get as a side plot her brother-in-law Maximilian and his ill-fated adventure. It is clear that the writers knew the history they were adapting, and put care in having as much historical moments as posible. Which incidentally is also the series biggest weakness: it's too short for the amount of events it covers. The pacing is too rushed and many of the story lines are not properly developed. It is not entirely accurate either: the writers couldn't (or didn't want to) get away of the romantic myth and put great emphasis in Elisabeth's marriage as a great love story (weirdly this didn't stop them from romanticizing her friendship with Andrássy either). I pity that this wasn't a full series because it had the potential to be a great show.

Elisabeth das musical (1992-): my favorite piece of media about Elisabeth ever. I also already talked about it but for a musical whose argument is that the assassin of Empress Elisabeth is trapped in a loop in the afterlife in which he forever must tell her story while he's judged for his crime this is a surprisingly accurate and nuanced take of her life. While a bit outdated now (the idea that archduchess Sophie was an evil mother-in-law or that Sisi and her father had a close relationship have been disproved for a while, for example), I think this musical actually got her personality, or better, it got that we can't truly know her: she was a complex person, she was full of contradictions, she was human.

Sissi Trilogy (1955-1957): a classic is a classic. A heavily romanticized take on the early life of the empress, these movies are not particularly accurate, but they're fun to watch nonetheless (except the third one. The third one is a bad movie, fight me)

Sisi (2021-): I'm weirdly fond of this show, I'm sorry. Like I know that objectively is a very trashy, poorly written attempt at a historical drama, and yet I can't help but finding it fun to watch. And for all its flaws (which are PLENTY, and I complained a lot about them here), at least it tried to do something different with some of the characters. I vaguely remember someone saying that RTL is like the CW of Germany, so following the comparison I would say that this show is kinda like Reign: a hot mess that you either love to hate, or you learn to love with time.

The Empress (2022-): my deep dislikeness for this show is no secret to my followers. In fact I owe them a review, which I begun but never finished, because every time I enter the doc I'm reminded of how much of a disappointment this series was for me, and I don't want to keep writing (I will eventually I promise it). This series has all the problems of the 2021 Sisi series and none of its redeming qualities. If you go through my livebloging tag you'll find what I disliked, but to put it short: this series is so disconnected of reality that can't be enjoyed as a historical drama, but it is so poorly written that can't be enjoyed as a piece of fiction either. It's just not fun to watch at all.

The King Steps Out (1936): The only time in history that the USA attempted to make a Sisi movie, and yes it ranks even lower than The Empress that's how inaccurate this is. This was an adaptation of an operetta (that would end up being the basis for the first Sissi movie), and other than "emperor is expected to marry his cousin but end ups falling for her sister instead" the story has nothing to do with history. I also just didn't like this movie at all.

Not Sisi Media But Features Sisi As A Character:

Ludwig II (2012): I LOVE Hannah Herzsprung's Elisabeth. She gave us a Sisi we never saw before: the friend. She is Ludwig's friend and wants the best for him but this doesn't stop her from criticizing him; she loves him but also loves her little sister and is FURIOUS when Ludwig dumps Sophie. To me this is one of the most loving takes of her that exists, and for that I adore it.

Ludwig (1973): THE BEST enigmatic and mature Elisabeth, period. Romy is sublime, every one of her scene feels like a master class in acting. I don't rank her over Hannah's Elisabeth because I don't like much the plot they gave her (they turned her friendship with Ludwig into a sort-of-romance and she also mistreats Sophie), but in terms of acting this is by far the best performance.

Mayerling (1936): Elisabeth appears only for one scene played by a woman that looks nothing like her only to give love advice (???) to Mary Vetsera and then leaves. An absolutely boring and forgettable portrayal, I don't know why they even bothered including her (also fyi this movie is bad).

Ludwig II (1955): literally who is this woman. She's Elisabeth in name only, they stripped away everything that made her interesting and turned her into a cardboard cutout romantic interest for Ludwig II (who's straight here LOL). Worst Elisabeth that I've seen so far hands down (btw this movie is also bad minus some scenes).

Special Mention:

L'aigle à deux têtes (1948): This isn't a Sisi movie nor features Sisi at all, but the character of the Queen is clearly inspired in Elisabeth. Here we follow the widow Queen of a fictional kingdom and an anarchist that attempts to kill her but ends up being protected by her. It's the adaptation of a play and it shows: the action happens in closed spaces and it's made up mostly of dialogues. It is a psychological movie (and also an enemies to lovers romance lol), and it may be boring for some since it's mainly just characters talking, but personally I loved it.

#asks #sisi (2009)#elisabeth das musical #sissi trilogy #sisi (2021)#the empress (2022)#the king steps out (1936)#ludwig ii (2012)#ludwig (1973)#mayerling (1936)#ludwig ii (1955)#l'aigle à deux têtes (1948)

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finallysafeawakepowerful · 26 days

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You kill the old story and version. You choose how to perceive everything and how to be and who you are.

"We speak of Issac the blind man. You are the blind man because you don't see your objective with your body or senses - you perceive it in your mind and you bring it so close you feel its real." Your perception and ideas in your head even control your senses

So take the idea you want to embody, see it in your minds eye, and live from it. Embody it and assume you already it and lose yourself in it and live only from it. You so completely rub out the old in your minds eye that there's nothing you can point to and claim "that's where I left it, that's where I buried it."

A complete transformation of consciousness rubs out all evidence that anything other THAN THIS ever existed in this world, not even in the grave.

Surrender yourself to your ideal with such awareness of its reality that you begin to live the life of the ideal and no longer own or identify with what was prior. (Trying to become, trying to attain.)

- Neville Goddard

There’s nothing to experience … BUT the ideal. [All evidence of anything else is rubbed out. All evidence of anything else cannot even be found. You can’t even SEE from it; there’s nothing TO SEE. You can’t even THINK/IMAGINE from it. You can’t even live from an old life. You can’t even find the door (in many mansions) to enter that old life again, or see from that mind again. You cannot experience anything BUT the ideal. There is no life to see and experience but the ideal. The old isn’t in your view through your mind or 2d eyes creation. You’ve almost stepped into a new world] ……. Just give it to yourself. You have to let go of what was prior. It’s time to let it go. Stop gripping onto the old story. Rewire your entire being.

NOTHING EXISTS BUT THE IDEAL. THERES NOTHING TO EXPERIENCE BUT THE IDEAL.

You can't be anyone BUT the ideal. You are LIVING the ideal and SEEING from the ideal only, experiencing it. How does the ideal think? What do people say to the ideal? What do you (imagine) people think about the ideal? What does the ideal SEE when looking at their circumstances? SEE that only. IMAGINE that only. THINK AS THOUGH, LIVE as though.

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING EXISTS BUT the ideal. Walk ONLY as the IDEAL, as it’s the ONLY possible option TO live from.. bc its TRUE, ACTUAL reality experiencing BEING SEEN FROM, STANDING ON HARVEST GROUND.. true ground you are standing on… it’s where you truly are in the 4th dimensional plane + 3D + seeing from 2D; therefor where you truly are out of millions of probabilies. Shift entirely you feel the surge of confidence and power within you as you are NOW the ideal, forever and cannot experience anything BUT the ideal and can never go back. It's the only thing possible for you bc it's your true reality experiencing… It's the only thing you can even see from, experience from. It's the only thing OF existence to experience and be from, to form. You cannot find the door to an old life. You cannot hop into the mind and body of another life. WHICH world are you truly in? what are you maintaining in the 4th dimensional plane?

What is the silent whisper you’re telling yourself? Be honest.

#thoughts #neville goddard #law of assumption blog #top #babe

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