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#the reader experience and affect the impact of the prose on the emotions.
mejomonster · 9 months
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Sometimes I feel like I write really... simple? Which isn't a bad thing. Just sometimes rereading my stuff feels like I'm reading a fairy tale (ignoring the actual Faerie Stories I write galore lol)
#rant#mejo writing#like. i get it? part of it is i lean toward simpler words because i want as MANY people to understand what i mean as possible#and im used to tutoring a lot of people of varying vocabulary and the simpler more understandable words the BETTER when#trying to teach math frankly. and then also when i speak in french or chinese i likewise lean toward more common words#since im more certain im expressing myself in the way i intend. whereas if i use specialized chinese words theres a higher risk i say#something i didnt mean. and in general i just notice a lot of things i got used to in french grammar i...#oddly ended up integrating into how i write english. which is absolutely bizarre to me. and tjen since reading more chinesr#ive really adapted to more SHORT sentences just focusing on making my point.#and then of course. my biggest style influences are haruki murakami and edgar allan poe.#i dont pick as perfect words as poe (unfortunately). but i like the idea of prose written as if its poetry. with thought put into#the length of sentences and SINGLE WORDS as sentences. and cut off sentences. and alliteration. to control#the reader experience and affect the impact of the prose on the emotions.#and then murakami lol. murakami??? my favorite short story he wrote is The Kangaroo Communique#which i think explains a LOT about why the fuck i write the way i do#have you ever read his stories in The Elephant Vanishes???#its like this... the ideas and words and settings are ordinary. but the experience is emotional and surreal and magical and it swallows you#inside the narrator's head.#and you truly have no idea what objective reality in the story is. only what the character narrating is Claiming to experience (and they#might be lying about themselves and whete their attention is too).#and i LOVE it. i love it i love it. it FEELS like being in my mind. so i try to write that way.#and i almost feel like when the prose is simpler words... its more like how a general person may think things#(at least how i do. with simple understandable explanation) and so its easier to suck the reader into the#narration pov's mind#and get them to feel what the character feels and notice what the charqcter avoids. and feel reality of the story#becoming as warped and unreliable as the narrator.
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mediaevalmusereads · 4 months
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Foster. By Claire Keegan. Grove Press, 2022.
Rating: 4.5/5 stars
Genre: literary fiction, short story
Series: N/A
Summary: A small girl is sent to live with foster parents on a farm in rural Ireland, without knowing when she will return home. In the strangers' house, she finds a warmth and affection she has not known before and slowly begins to blossom in their care. And then a secret is revealed and suddenly, she realizes how fragile her idyll is.
***Full review below.***
Content Warnings: use of the g-slur
Overview: I decided to pick k up this book after seeing it on a YouTuber's best books of 2023. I was in a lit fic mood, and the high praise got me interested. Overall, I enjoyed this story, and though I wish certain things had been pushed a little more, it was a quiet, understated little narrative that I no doubt will be mulling over for a while. For those reasons, this book gets 4.5 stars from me.
WRITING: Keegan's prose is incredibly descriptive yet understated and reticent at the same time. The author manages to hide little details in every sentence that reveal how her narrator views the world, and yet, she never outright says much (either because the narrator is a child with limited understanding or because Keegan is making a point about silence or both). Personally, I found this style incredibly effective; not only does it do a masterful job of "showing" over "telling," but it allows the reader to do a little brain work and interpret the story for themselves. It also does much to capture big, emotional sentiment that can't be voiced directly, and the narrator says as much at one point.
This style does, however, mean that it can be easy to miss some things. Whether or not this style works for you will probably depend on how forthright you like your books; for me, I think it withheld just the right amount, and even though I doubtless missed some things, it doesn't necessarily bother me. It just means I want to go back and read again.
PLOT: The plot of this story follows a young unnamed girl who is sent to live with her distance relatives, the Kinsellas. The narrator comes from a large, poor family in rural Ireland, and the understanding is that she is being sent away because A.) the mother is pregnant again, and B.) the family is struggling to care for all the children. While living with the Kinsellas, the girl is cared for in a way that reveals the degree of neglect she experiences at home, and over time, she forms a bond with the Kinsellas, who come to love her as their own.
This story was touching and, by the end, left me quite emotional. Through the little details we can see how the girl's home life is lacking - she is taken aback by little luxuries such as a hot bath, clean floors, etc. and all this doesn't so much criticize the poor family so much as it filled me with an incredible amount of pity and sadness.
The bond that formed between the girl and the Kinsellas was heart-warming and became especially impactful once we learn of the Kinsellas' past. Knowing that they eventually would be parted filled me with some degree of dread, but mostly, it just made me appreciate their short time together and left me wishing they could have stayed together forever.
If I had any criticism, I would say that I kind of wish there was more in this story to drive home the neglect or the sense of safety and care at the Kinsellas; but in all fairness, something so overt would probably go against Keegan's style. My personal tastes tend to go towards things that are a little more blatant in their messaging, but this doesn't mean Keegan did anything wrong at the level of craft.
CHARACTERS: Our unnamed female narrator is not much of a character in her own right, but is mostly notable for being a filter or lens through which the story is told. Her most defining feature is that she comes from poverty and is thus unused to little luxuries, including hot baths, refrigeration, and even love and affection from her guardians. I honestly didn't mind this because the narrative was so short; if Foster had been a novel, it might have been a problem, but for the purposes of this story, the narrator is just as complex (or not) as she needs to be.
The Kinsellas are also fairly simple folk and show a quiet kindness that I could feel through the page. I loved that they treated the narrator as their own child and that they opened their hearts so fully to her. I also loved that the husband and wife seemed to genuinely love each other so that the whole household felt like a safe, loving environment - a stark contrast to the home where our narrator comes from.
Side characters were fine and did the jobs they needed to do. The narrator's father wasn't overly mean or abusive, but it was clear he was somewhat neglectful or at least reluctant to connect with his children emotionally. Various neighbors or acquaintances did enough to reveal to the reader that there was something going on with the Kinsellas, and they didn't overwhelm the narrative. The narrator's mother also felt warm and kind but overwhelmed, which created some interesting tension with the father.
TL;DR: Foster is a touching short story about the bond that forms between a neglected girl and a childless couple in rural Ireland. With a reserved writing style that manages to pull back the curtain just enough, the effect is a melancholy gut punch that showcases just how wonderful and fragile a peaceful, loving home is.
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literategoblin · 1 year
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4/52 "I'm Glad My Mom Died" by Jennette McCurdy
Autobiographies have never been a genera I found myself reaching for or logging in my TBR, I'm not sure why that is exactly. But when I saw this was coming out, with a title like that and by an actress I remember watching on TV myself as a child it seemed as good a time as any to give them a try. And wow, what a ride it was. Jennette recounts her experiences with her abusive mother throughout early childhood as well as her experiences as a child actor and the ways that has affected her life. She also delves into her experiences with eating disorders, romance, depression, and a number of other things. I was shocked at how much I resonated with her experiences with certain things throughout the book. The prose is written a delivered in a quick, blunt, but flavorful style that really moves thing along. It feels so much like a conversation, but almost always like a natural one. It is emotional, impactful, and very often deeply relatable despite the extremely heavy subject matter. This book deals with serious issues, anorexia, bulimia, alcoholism, child abuse, mental health, depression, among other things. The book is marketed as "impressively funny" and perhaps to a different person, it is. But I didn't really resonate with the humor, I suspect that is more of a personal taste issue than an issue with the writing or delivery, but all the same I found the book to mostly have a serious tone panning to sarcasm or exasperation when it needed to. But the tone selected fits the subject matter remarkably well, making the 304 pages feel like they are flying by. The formatting also helps with this. With the book being split into 91 "chapters" or sections with some being only a single page long. While an odd choice at first it really grew on me by the end. Jumping from moment to moment as we move down a timeline to the modern day. The abrupt transitions do a good job of adding a little extra impact to certain scenes, though I admit a few take away from what was being developed in the section before. Moving on a little too fast for the material to really set in or develop with the reader. All in all however. This was a very enjoyable read, if you're in a place where you can handle a heavy and emotional book, I can very sincerely recommend it. I can see how the chosen style might not resonate with some people, and I can also see how someone who hasn't been affected by some of the things in the book may have trouble relating to Jennette, I think if you have experiences even vaguely adjacent to hers, you will find a very powerful experience in these pages.
"I yearn to know the people I love deeply and intimately—without context, without boxes—and I yearn for them to know me that way, too.” 4.5/5
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blazephoenix13 · 26 days
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Exploring the Depths of Trauma: Understanding and Healing
Understanding Trauma: A Complex Journey
Trauma is a deeply intricate phenomenon that affects individuals on profound levels, often leaving lasting imprints on their emotional and psychological well-being. It transcends mere physical injuries, delving into the realms of the mind, where its impact can be pervasive and enduring. From the subtle nuances of everyday stressors to the harrowing experiences of abuse and violence, trauma manifests in myriad forms, each with its unique set of challenges and repercussions.
The Resilience of the Human Spirit
Despite the darkness that trauma may cast upon one's life, there exists an innate resilience within the human spirit that strives to overcome adversity. "Invisible Tears" by Iram Gilani intricately captures this resilience, offering a poignant portrayal of individuals grappling with the aftermath of trauma. Through the raw authenticity of Gilani's prose, readers are invited to embark on a journey of introspection, empathy, and ultimately, healing.
Unveiling "Invisible Tears": A Literary Masterpiece
"Invisible Tears" delves deep into the intricacies of human suffering, exploring the multifaceted nature of trauma with a delicate yet unflinching gaze. Through the lens of Gilani's narrative, readers are transported into the lives of characters whose struggles resonate on a profoundly human level. From the haunting echoes of past traumas to the glimmers of hope that illuminate their darkest moments, the novel offers a nuanced exploration of the human condition.
Healing Through Connection and Understanding
At its core, "Invisible Tears" is a testament to the transformative power of connection and understanding. Through the bonds forged between characters and the empathy that permeates every page, Gilani reminds us of the importance of compassion in navigating the complexities of trauma. As readers immerse themselves in the narrative, they are not merely passive observers but active participants in a journey of healing and redemption.
Empowering Through Awareness and Advocacy
Beyond its literary merits, "Invisible Tears" serves as a catalyst for greater awareness and advocacy surrounding issues of trauma and mental health. By shedding light on the often-overlooked struggles of survivors, Gilani ignites a dialogue that is both timely and necessary. Through her evocative storytelling, she challenges societal norms and stigmas, paving the way for greater empathy, understanding, and support for those affected by trauma.
Conclusion: Navigating the Path to Healing
In conclusion, "Invisible Tears" stands as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of storytelling. Through its poignant narrative and profound insights, it offers a beacon of hope for those navigating the tumultuous waters of trauma. As readers embark on their own journey of self-discovery and healing, they are reminded that even in the darkest of times, there exists the possibility of redemption, renewal, and ultimately, healing.
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katelydonvarleyauthor · 2 months
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Capturing the Spirit of Family: 'Papa and Eva and Me' by Kate Lydon Varley
In a world where everything is constantly changing and unpredictable, our families remain reliable sources of support, affection, and strength. Kate Lydon Varley's delightful book, "Papa and Eva and Me," takes us on a mesmerizing journey into the intricate and heartwarming world of family life. The book beautifully captures the enduring power of love that shapes our lives and molds our identities, reminding us of the importance of treasuring and cherishing our loved ones.
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In "Papa and Eva and Me," the author has beautifully crafted a tribute to her grandparents, Papa and Eva. The story is interwoven with heartwarming and tear-jerking anecdotes that bring to life the characters of Papa and Eva, who are the central figures in the narrative. The author has used her exceptional storytelling skills to create a vivid and authentic portrayal of her grandparents, imbuing their essence with warmth, humor, and a sense of captivating and endearing genuineness.
Papa, with his larger-than-life personality and zest for life, emerges as a central figure in the narrative, regaling readers with colorful tales and timeless wisdom. From his humble beginnings as the fifth son in an Italian immigrant family to his later years spent nurturing his own grandchildren, Papa's journey is a testament to the power of love, resilience, and determination.
Eva, Papa's devoted wife and partner, complements his exuberance with her quiet strength and unwavering support. As the backbone of the family, Eva's nurturing presence serves as a source of comfort and stability, grounding the narrative with her gentle wisdom and unconditional love.
One of the most compelling aspects of "Papa and Eva and Me" is its exploration of the complex dynamics that define family relationships. Through Varley's evocative prose, readers are invited to reflect on their own family experiences, from the laughter and joy of shared moments to the challenges and conflicts that inevitably arise. In doing so, Varley captures the universal truths that bind us together as families, celebrating the resilience, love, and unwavering support that sustain us through life's ups and downs.
But "Papa and Eva and Me" is not just a reflection on the past—it is also a celebration of the present and a call to action for readers to cherish the moments they share with their loved ones. Through Varley's vivid descriptions and heartfelt reflections, readers are reminded of the importance of gratitude, forgiveness, and compassion in nurturing strong and resilient family bonds.
The book titled "Papa and Eva and Me" is a beautiful celebration of love that stands the test of time, distance, and obstacles. Through her personal experiences, the author takes the readers on an introspective journey, where they get to explore the deep and lasting impact that family can have on our lives. With a captivating narrative, Varley's words paint a vivid picture of love's profound, transformative power and how it can shape our thoughts and actions. This book is a must-read for anyone who wants to experience the magic of love and family bonds.
The novel "Papa and Eva and Me" is a captivating journey that transports readers into an enchanting world where love transcends all boundaries and family forms the foundation of existence. The author, Varley, has masterfully crafted a deeply authentic and vulnerable narrative, drawing readers into a rich tapestry of cherished childhood memories and poignant moments of adulthood. With every page, the story resonates with powerful emotions, inviting its readers to laugh, cry, and contemplate their own experiences of family with newfound clarity and depth.
At the end of it all, "Papa and Eva and Me" is an enthralling and deeply moving exploration of the unbreakable ties that bind families together. With its masterful storytelling, authentic and relatable characters, and poignant reflections, Varley effortlessly invites readers on a journey to appreciate the timelessness of familial bonds and the value of every moment we spend with those we love. This book is an absolute must-read for anyone who has ever experienced the transformative power of love. It serves as a touching reminder of the indomitable strength of the human spirit and the limitless capacity of the heart to love and be loved in return.
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852-between-the-pages · 4 months
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“Maps for Lost Lovers” by Nadeem Aslam – An Epitome of Love, Loss and Clash of Cultures.
Rating: ★★★★☆ (4/5)
Nadeem Aslam's “Maps for Lost Lovers” is a stunning and emotionally charged novel that explores love, loss, and the clash of cultures within an immigrant community. With lyrical prose and a deep understanding of human nature, Aslam presents a poignant and thought-provoking narrative that delves into the complexities of identity, tradition, and the search for belonging.
Set in the fictional town of Dasht-e-Tanhaii, the story revolves around the disappearance of Jugnu and Chanda, a young couple who have chosen to pursue a forbidden love outside the confines of their arranged marriages. As the community grapples with the mystery of their disappearance, Aslam expertly weaves together multiple storylines, providing a glimpse into the lives of various characters affected by the tragedy.
One of the novel's most compelling aspects is Aslam's ability to depict the immigrant experience with great depth and sensitivity. He explores the challenges faced by Pakistani immigrants as they navigate their cultural heritage while existing within a different societal context. Aslam delves into the tension between tradition and modernity, capturing the struggles of individuals torn between their desire for freedom and the expectations placed upon them by their families and communities.
The characters in Maps for Lost Lovers are beautifully crafted and profoundly human. Aslam provides readers with intimate portraits of their inner lives, their hopes, and their fears. Each character grapples with their own personal demons, and their journeys are marked by love, betrayal, and the consequences of secrets. Through their stories, Aslam illuminates larger themes of family dynamics, honor, and the clash between personal desires and societal expectations.
Aslam's attention to detail and his ability to evoke sensory experiences bring the setting and its inhabitants to life. The author's writing style is both evocative and introspective, making the reading experience immersive and emotionally resonant. The novel does not shy away from depicting the harsh realities of life, and as a result, it can be emotionally challenging for readers. However, it is precisely through these difficult themes that Aslam shines a light on the complexities of human relationships and the impact of societal expectations on individuals.
In Maps for Lost Lovers, Nadeem Aslam has created a masterful work of literature that transcends cultural boundaries. Through his storytelling prowess and deep empathy for his characters, he delivers a powerful exploration of love, loss, and the intricacies of cultural and personal identity. Readers who appreciate richly layered narratives and the exploration of complex social issues will find this book deeply fulfilling.
It is a profoundly moving and thought-provoking novel that leaves a lasting impact on its readers. Aslam's ability to navigate the complexities of human emotions and the clash of cultures is commendable, making this book a must-read for those seeking a profound and introspective literary experience.
Asia Rahman Khan Lodhi [Consul Press at the Consulate General of Pakistan, Hong Kong (SAR) & Macau (SAR)]
Note: This review is based on the original publication of "Maps for Lost Lovers" and not any subsequent editions or adaptations. The views/ ideas in the book are purely of the book’s author and are not necessarily endorsed by the book reviewer.
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ereviewsach · 5 months
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Klara and the Sun
Klara and the Sun: Exploring the Depths of Human Connection
In the realm of contemporary literature, few authors possess the ability to captivate readers with their words quite like Kazuo Ishiguro. With his latest masterpiece, "Klara and the Sun," Ishiguro weaves a mesmerizing tale that delves deep into the complexities of human emotions, the power of love, and the enigmatic potential of artificial intelligence. In this article, we will explore the key themes of the novel, the intricacies of Ishiguro's writing style, and the profound impact this book has on its readers.
The Allure of Ishiguro's Prose
Ishiguro's writing style is nothing short of breathtaking. His prose, elegant and evocative, transports readers into the minds and hearts of his characters. In "Klara and the Sun," Ishiguro masterfully uses descriptive language and vivid imagery to paint a rich and immersive world. With each turn of the page, readers are effortlessly drawn into Klara's journey, experiencing her hopes, fears, and desires as if they were their own.
Exploring the Themes of Love and Connection
At its core, "Klara and the Sun" is a story about love and connection. Klara, an Artificial Friend designed to provide companionship, embarks on a poignant journey to understand the intricacies of human emotions. As she forms a unique bond with Josie, a young girl suffering from a mysterious illness, Klara learns about sacrifice, empathy, and the transformative power of love.
Throughout the novel, Ishiguro raises profound questions about the nature of love and the lengths we are willing to go to protect those we care about. Klara's unwavering loyalty and her unwavering belief in the power of the sun serve as powerful metaphors for the resilience of the human spirit. Through Klara's perspective, readers are invited to reflect on their own capacity for love and the bonds that connect us all.
AI and the Human Experience
One of the central themes in "Klara and the Sun" is the exploration of artificial intelligence and its impact on human existence. Ishiguro deftly examines the complexities of AI through Klara's unique perspective, offering readers a nuanced understanding of the ethical and philosophical implications of advanced technology.
The novel prompts readers to ponder the blurred boundaries between human and machine, raising questions about the nature of consciousness, free will, and the essence of being human. Ishiguro's narrative prompts us to examine our own relationship with technology, forcing us to confront the potential consequences of a world increasingly dependent on artificial intelligence.
FAQ
1. Who is Klara and what makes her unique?
Klara is an Artificial Friend, an AI companion created to provide companionship to individuals, especially children. What sets Klara apart is her ability to perceive and understand human emotions, enabling her to develop deep connections with those around her.
2. How does Ishiguro explore the theme of love in the novel?
Ishiguro delves into the complexities of love by presenting various forms of affection throughout the story. From Klara's unwavering devotion to Josie to the bond between parents and children, Ishiguro showcases the transformative power of love and the profound impact it has on our lives.
3. What are some of the ethical questions raised in the book regarding artificial intelligence?
"Klara and the Sun" raises thought-provoking questions about the nature of consciousness, the limits of AI, and the potential consequences of creating intelligent machines. Ishiguro prompts readers to consider the ethical implications of advanced technology and the responsibility we have as creators and users of AI.
4. How does Ishiguro's writing style contribute to the overall impact of the novel?
Ishiguro's elegant prose, characterized by its lyrical beauty and emotional depth, immerses readers in the world of "Klara and the Sun." His precise and evocative descriptions allow readers to feel the emotions and experiences of the characters, enhancing their connection to the story and its themes.
5. What sets "Klara and the Sun" apart from Ishiguro's previous works?
While Ishiguro's previous works have often explored similar themes of love, memory, and identity, "Klara and the Sun" offers a fresh perspective through the lens of artificial intelligence. This novel pushes the boundaries of Ishiguro's storytelling, blending science fiction elements with his trademark introspective and character-driven narrative style.
Conclusion
In "Klara and the Sun," Kazuo Ishiguro once again proves his mastery as a storyteller. Through his eloquent prose and profound exploration of themes, Ishiguro invites readers to reflect on the nature of love, the complexities of human connection, and the potential consequences of technological advancements
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anangkaaa · 6 months
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Traces of riots 98 wounds in literature: Professional Perspective of Denny Ja
In Indonesian history, the 98 riots were one of the most historic moments and had a big impact on this nation. The riots that occurred in 1998 not only left physical wounds for the victims, but also in -depth and difficult to forget. Many literary works later emerged as a form of expressions of the wound. In this paper, it will be discussed how Denny JA, a professional in the field of literature, traces the wound of riots 98 in his works.    Denny JA, or better known as a writer, poet, and social activist, is one of the Indonesian literary figures who has contributed a lot in raising social issues through his work. In his journey as a professional in the field of literature, Denny JA often traces the traces of the riots in his writing. He considers that literature is the right media to express personal feelings and experiences, including wounds and trauma caused by the event.    In his poems, Denny Ja often describes the suffering and destruction that occurs during the riots 98. He uses strong and emotional language to convey deep messages. For example, in a poem titled “Wound”, Denny Ja wrote:    “Traces of riots wounds 98  Still felt in the heart  Destruction of hope and dreams  Leaving an unleassed marks “    These words show how deep the wounds felt by the victims of the riots 98. Denny Ja through literature tries to remind us all of their suffering, and the importance of not forgetting this dark history.    In addition to poetry, Denny Ja also traces the riots wounds 98 in the form of prose. One famous example is his novel entitled “collapse”. This novel tells the story of a fictional figure who is a victim directly from the riots 98. In this novel, Denny Ja described the details of the violence and chaos that occurred at that time, and its impact on the life of the main character.    Through these literary works, Denny Ja not only wants to describe the 98 riots, but also wants to invite the reader to reflect and take lessons from this event. He believes that literature has the power to change perception and affect the human mind. By bringing back the wound and trauma caused by the 98 riots, Denny Ja hopes that we all will not repeat the same mistakes in the future.    In conclusion, Denny Ja’s works are a reflection of the traces of the 98 riots in Indonesian literature. He used strong and emotional language to describe the suffering and destruction that occurred at that time. Through poetry and prose, Denny Ja invites us not to forget this dark history, and take lessons so as not to repeat mistakes in the future. Literature, through Denny Ja’s works, becomes a strong means to voice personal feelings and experiences, and embrace and treat wounds and trauma caused by riots 98.    In his closing, Denny Ja through his works invites all of us to maintain national peace and unity. He reminded that the 98 riots were not only felt in history, but also in our hearts. By respecting history and learning from the past, we can build a better future, without having to repeat the same mistakes.
Check more: trace the riot wound traces 98 in literature: Professional Perspective of Denny JA
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heartitout-posts · 1 year
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Writing yourself into self-care
What is writing for self-care?
Writing as a part of self-care is a way to express yourself! Through writing, you can reflect on your emotions and thoughts by cataloguing them. One way to do this is to use specific prompts, questions, or activities to practice self-writing with an underlying goal or objective. You can also journal and write your thoughts down without any prompt. The medium we use to write can also vary from pen and paper to digital forms of written communication. There is no right way to practice writing as a self-care exercise. Writing helps improve and maintain your emotional & mental well being and it can be a subjective experience for each of us! 
Why writing?
Multiple studies have been undertaken to understand the impact of writing on an individual's perceived stress, productivity & academic performance. The results show significant improvement in individuals who have practiced writing for self-care. Many therapists might also recommend writing as an intervention. It is a simple yet useful tool as it requires minimal resources, is highly accessible and available and is paced differently for each of us. Writing provides for a means of catharsis or a method to vent one's deepest feelings & emotions. 
In innumerable writing pieces from the past, it is evident that pen and paper were used as a means to cope with internal & external environments. Be it Anne Frank's diary during the Holocaust or Jane Austen's critique on social norms, their writings are not just literature; they add value to the readers and of course, to the writers themselves. 
Different Writing Techniques
Journaling
Journaling often involves recording significant activities and experiences in one’s life, along with our thoughts and feelings about these events. It becomes an account of personal history and can help the writer understand and improve on the various aspects of their life. This can be used as an umbrella form of writing, which can then include other forms of writing.
Creative writing
Creative writing takes the shape of prose, poetry, fiction or nonfiction; anything that stimulates your imagination! This form of writing has been part of our culture in the form of folklore and fables which serve many purposes. Some look to invoke inspiration, while others create a sense of reflection & introspection. You can use this form of writing to let your imagination break free from reality or to express your perspective in a creative manner. 
Expressive writing
This technique involves openly expressing thoughts, feelings & emotions on one's significant stressors throughout their life. The focus here is exclusively on the situations triggering specific actions or feelings, leading to stress. This writing method can help manage stress and identify the underlying cause and triggers for stress.
Gratitude writing
This method of writing is specifically for penning down thoughts on what they one is grateful for. The aim is to focus on the positive aspects of life, things or people we are thankful to have. This technique can help you develop a positive outlook, while enhancing & maintaining healthy self-esteem.
Affirmation 
One can think of affirmation writing as a manifestation of a person’s wishes, motivation, intentions & expectations. This writing tool helps pave the way to change deeply rooted ideologies and bring a fresh, new perspective to the writer. Using this technique, you can initiate change, both mentally and behaviorally.
Which form of writing should you choose?
It is first important to note that the list above is not exhaustive. If these writing techniques do not seem to work for you, feel free to explore more. You must first recognize the overall goal you have set for yourself. Based on the goal, you can choose one or a combination of writing tools to support your self-care routine. When in doubt, do reach out and ask for help! If any of the exercises seem to affect you negatively, pause and seek professional help if needed.
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deanhisnippleisout · 2 years
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dta besties, looking for answers in the replies/tags as a very informal survey re dean. under the cut for late book 1 spoilers reasons
either the first time or on a reread, after the brownie bite, did you read dean as someone with a disability? if not, how do you personally classify his condition caused by the injury and illness? how do you define what a disability is? do you yourself have any disabilities?
just trying to understand how different life experiences & understanding of living with a disability might influence how someone would describe what’s happening with dean from that point on.
had a lot of good chats today unpacking how reads of dean are influenced when you have disabilities/chronic health conditions, and how that shaped our enjoyment of dta. just looking for a few more points of view.
i might elaborate on my thoughts if i get any feedback lmao but for now i’m sleeby. been thinking about dta dean all day (even more than usual somehow) and as someone who currently has a similar physical condition, i’m curious how that might be affecting my opinion/emotions. unforch my illness didn’t involve getting a gnarly animal bite, conversing with deities and kissing an alternate version of my best friend/current only friend because i think I have to seal a magical deal. tooth infections are a little less interesting (although i’m sure sep’s prose could change that)
*edit* just adding because i don't think i was clear the first time, i'm not willing to engage in any ableist discussions around this. if someone doesn't read dean as disabled at all after these kinds of discussions, that isn't the kind of discourse i want to platform.
i'm hoping to be able to collate points of view about the semantics of the classification the word disability, to gain some knowledge i don't personally have. most people aren’t maliciously ableist about this, and ideally in the future, discussing how impactful dean being disabled has been to me and many others, will help all dta fans have a better understanding & a richer reader experience together.
thanks!
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framecaught · 3 years
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Transmedia Storytelling: A Perspective on the Homestuck Epilogues
First of all, thank you for reading my first post! I created this blog to document some of my research for a directed study project. I’ll be looking at Homestuck from an interdisciplinary lens but focusing especially on its formal artistic qualities and place in art history. The blog will contain various points of analysis which I develop over the course of the project. For my first piece of writing, I wanted to tackle (from a new perspective) what I view as a complicating factor in the controversy surrounding the Homestuck Epilogues.
Rather than critiquing the Epilogues’ content or making a judgement about their overall quality, I want to explore a specific criticism which has been echoed time and time again by fans. In an article for the online journal WWAC, Homestuck fan-writer Masha Zhdanova sums up this criticism:
“No matter how much members of the creative team insist that their extension to the Homestuck line of work is no more official than fanwork, if it’s hosted on Homestuck.com, promoted by Homestuck’s official social media accounts, and endorsed by the original creator, I think it’s a little more official than a fanfic with thirty hits on AO3.”
Between attacks on the Epilogues’ themes, treatment of characters, and even prose-quality, fans have frequently referenced the issue of endorsement and canonicity as summarized above. Although the Epilogues and Homestuck’s other successors (including Homestuck^2 and the Friendsims) attempt to tackle themes of canonicity within their narratives, critics of the Epilogues contend that this philosophical provocation falls flat. While the creators argue that the works should form a venue for productively questioning canonicity, fans point to issues of capital and call the works disingenuous. In Episode 52 of the Perfectly Generic Podcast Andrew Hussie explains that, to him, the Epilogues are “heavily implied to be a piece of bridge-media, which is clearly detached from the previous narrative, and conceptually ‘optional’ by its presentation, which allows it to also function as an off-ramp for those inclined to believe the first seven acts of Homestuck were perfectly sufficient.” As Zhdanova paraphrases, a critical view posits that this “optional” reading is impossible. The company ethos and production of capital inherent to the Epilogue’s release—their promotion, their monetization—renders their “fanfic” backdrop completely moot, if not insulting.
Why does appropriating the “aesthetic trappings” [1] of AO3 strike such a chord with critics, though? What’s wrong with the Epilogue creators profiting from their work? Other officially endorsed “post-canon” materials, including the Paradox Space comics, Hiveswap and Friendsim games, have not inspired such virulent opposition. The issue comes down to the association between the AO3 layout and the separation from canon. The Epilogues ask us to read them as “tales of dubious authenticity,” but critics assert that this reading makes no sense in the context of their distribution. It’s not exactly the endorsement or monetization that prevents a “dubious” reading, though. After all, Hiveswap is also endorsed and monetized, yet fans have no problem labeling it as “dubiously canon.” So what is it about the Epilogues’ presentation that seems so incongruous with their premise as “dubious” texts?
I’ve come to understand this issue through the lens of transmedia storytelling. First conceptualized by Henry Jenkins, “transmedia storytelling” involves the production of distinct stories, contained within the same universe, across different media platforms. [2] This allows consumers to pick and choose stories across their favorite media outlets, since each story is self-contained, but superfans can still consume All The Content for a greater experience. The Marvel franchise with its comics, movies, TV shows, and other ephemera, is a great example of the transmedia phenomenon.
How does Homestuck fit into this theory? In an excellent article [3] for the Convergence journal, Kevin Veale lays out a taxonomy for Homestuck’s role in new media frameworks. Rather than dispersing different stories across multiple media platforms, Homestuck combines the “aesthetic trappings” of many media forms into one massive outlet: the Homestuck website [4]. It’s almost like the inverse of transmedia storytelling. Veale describes this type of storytelling as “transmodal.” He further defines Homestuck’s storytelling as “metamedia,” meaning that it manipulates the reader’s expectations of certain media forms to change the reading experience. So, despite its multimedia aspects, Homestuck structures itself around one monolith distribution channel (the website), the importance of which directly feeds into what we know as “upd8 culture.” The Homestuck website itself, as a “frame” which encapsulates Homestuck and the other MS Paint Adventures, takes on a nostalgic quality; the familiar grey background and adblocks become inextricably linked with the production of the main, “canon” narrative.
Homestuck itself—the main narrative—is a transmodal venture. However, as of writing this post, the Homestuck franchise has taken a leap into transmedia waters, starting with the Paradox Space comics and continuing with Hiveswap, the Friendsims, and Homestuck^2. All four of these examples fit the definition of transmedia ventures: they contain distinct stories still set in the Homestuck universe and are distributed through fundamentally separate media channels from the main comic. Which is to say, crucially, none of them are hosted on the Homestuck website.
This is where I think the issue arises for the Epilogues. The Epilogues, from what I can tell, aimed to present themselves as a transmedia venture rather than a transmodal one. Firstly, they try to act as a “bridge-media,” or self-contained story. They can be read as a continuation of Homestuck, but can also be separated or ignored. Secondly, they take on a distinct format (prose). Hussie notes in PGP Ep. 52 that the Epilogues were originally only meant to be published in print, functioning as a “cursed tome.” In short, they were intended as a transmedia venture: a self contained story, distributed through a separate medium (prose) and separate media channel (print), to be embraced or discarded by consumers at their whim.
Instead, when the Epilogues were released through the main Homestuck website, readers couldn’t help but interpret them as part of Homestuck’s long transmodal history. Rather than interacting with a new distribution channel, readers returned to the same nostalgic old grey website. The AO3 formatting gag makes no real difference to readers, as Homestuck patently appropriates the aesthetics of other platforms all throughout its main narrative. This issue of distribution (print versus website), which in turn produces either a transmedia or transmodal reading, is the crux of the criticism I mentioned before. Despite the creators’ protests, readers failed to see any “question” of canonicity because the Epilogues fit perfectly into the comic’s preexisting transmodal framework, supported even further by the nostalgia of the website’s very layout. The Epilogues read as a transmodal contribution to Homestuck’s main channel rather than a post-canon, transmedia narrative (like Paradox Space or the Friendsims) as they were intended. This created a profound dissonance between the fans’ experiences and the creators’ intentions.
How things might have turned out differently if the Epilogues really had been released solely as “cursed tomes,” the world will never know. In PGP, Hussie cites the importance of making content freely accessible on the website as a reason for the online release, which is certainly a valid consideration. Even though the print format offers a much clearer conceptual standpoint as a transmedia “bridge-story” [5], issues of capital and accessibility may still have come to the forefront of discussion. As it stands, though, I think the mix-up between transmedia and transmodal distribution was a key factor in the harsh criticism the Epilogues sparked.
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[1] I love this term, “aesthetic trappings”, which Masha Zhdanova uses, so I’ve overused it to some degree in my post.
[2] Henry Jenkins, Convergence Culture: Where Old and New Media Collide, 2007: pg. 98. You can also find a description of transmedia storytelling on his blog.
[3] Veale, Kevin. “‘Friendship Isn’t an Emotion Fucknuts’: Manipulating Affective Materiality to Shape the Experience of Homestuck’s Story.” Convergence: The International Journal of Research into New Media Technologies 25, no. 5–6 (December 2019): 1027–43. https://doi.org/10.1177/1354856517714954.
[4] Although the Homestuck website shifted branding from mspaintadventures.com to homestuck.com before the Epilogues’ release and has shifted its aesthetic somewhat (re: banners and ads), I treat the core “website” as the same location in my post
[5] Hussie points to numerous fascinating experiences which might have arisen from the print distribution. He describes a tome as “something which maddeningly beckons, due to whatever insanity it surely contains, but also something which causes feelings of trepidation” and references the sheer size of the book and “stark presentation of the black and white covers” as elements which produce this trepidation. The ability to physically experience (through touch) the length of the Epilogues and the impact of the book cover were lost in the online format. Although the Epilogues have been released in their intended book format now, the printed novel still won’t be a “first reading experience” for most fans. 
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eyreguide · 4 years
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A recap of the Brontë2020 Virtual Conference
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On Friday the very first virtual Brontë conference was held and included a program of various talks and presentations by people knowledgeable on many different aspects of the Brontës. And reader, I had a wonderful time.  
This post is just a brief overview of the event, with some commentary on the different topics and comments that were discussed and that I found interesting. This conference was held as a way to help support the amazing Brontë Parsonage in Haworth as they are going through a difficult time with the impact of Covid-19. If you are able, please donate whatever you can to the Parsonage by visiting this site. Help them reach their goal!
I live in the United States so I wasn’t able to attend all the panels - I decided to make my first one the discussion with Sandy Welch (screenwriter of the 2006 Jane Eyre adaptation) which was 5 am my time! I was so excited to hear what Sandy had to say about writing Jane Eyre that I was wide awake by the time her panel started.
Special Guest: Sandy Welch
First off, I didn’t realize Welch had also written the screenplay for North and South (one of my absolute favorite period dramas!) so I was pretty much in awe of her talent, even though the 2006 Jane Eyre isn’t exactly my favorite. If you read through my reviews of all the adaptations here. I have a few issues with the scenes after the failed wedding where Jane and Rochester are on her bed. And also I felt like the dialogue and added scenes did not always feel true to the novel. But Welch talked about her approach to adapting Jane Eyre and I agreed with all of her comments. Jane is a modern woman in that she is making her own way in the world, and that her thoughts and prose in the book are direct and clear to the reader. And Welch was glad to give more time to the conversations between Jane and Rochester so that the humor and intelligence that connects them shines through. The emotions were allowed to develop and we can see how Rochester changes with Jane.  
There was some discussion about the character of Rochester and how the audience needs to see that they deserve each other and are equals. So you see more of Rochester’s vulnerabilities and emotions in this adaptation. It’s important to remember too that Charlotte made Bertha irredeemable so that Rochester could not make his situation better, but he tried his best to take care of her.  
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A question from the audience did bring up that scene where Jane must say goodbye to Rochester and they end up on her bed - I was very keen to know what Welch would say. She acknowledged that it was a bold choice, but there is that sensuality in the book, and Rochester wants to “impress” himself on Jane, and throughout the novel, Jane is very passionate. It seemed natural to Welch to have that shown on screen. It’s a bit of artistic license that still doesn’t sit easily with me, but I am glad to know the thought process was grounded in trying to take a realistic approach to how that scene would develop.
Another question also asked about the addition of the twins and the doubles theme in the adaptation. Welch included that to give Jane an opportunity to participate in the conversation around her since she is intelligent and able to hold her own. And to show that not all of the people in Rochester’s party are horrible. It also gives a little foreshadowing to the call across the moors between Jane and Rochester near the end.
The last topic I want to mention is when someone asked what the difference was between approaching Margaret Hale’s character (from North and South) and Jane Eyre. Welch worked to make Margaret more sympathetic and Thornton a little less so, so that they were equals in the story - much like Jane and Rochester already are.
A Day in the Life of the Parsonage
I was very excited about this next panel, where Ann Dindsdale, the collections manager of the Parsonage, and Rebecca Yorke, the communications manager, talk about what it is like to manage the Parsonage day to day. It made me long to be able to work there myself! Just think how lovely it would be to be up early in the morning at the house, preparing for the visitors that day.
On my last visit to the Parsonage, I was able to take the VIP tour (which I talked about here) and I have to say seeing a glimpse of the place behind the scenes and led by a knowledgeable docent was amazing. They do wonderful work there!
The two talked about the work that goes into maintaining the house - especially during the month-long closure in January where they clean every book and check every piece of furniture! When asked how they decide what to display, Ann said she puts out “what she likes” (lucky!) but it was also good to rotate everything regularly.  
The Parsonage feels it is important for guests to “engage with the Parsonage” - a wonderful way to describe how the guests are made to feel when they visit - as a part of the experience. And with social distancing right now due to the pandemic, visiting the Parsonage couldn’t be a more personal and intimate experience. I so wish I could make the trip across the pond right now and visit!
Author Roundtable: The Brontës, the 21st Century and Us
This was a fascinating panel with talented authors. I’ve read some of their books so I’ll link to my review of their work when possible. The panel was moderated by Rowan Coleman (The Vanished Bride) and included Finola Austin (Brontës’ Mistress), Syrie James (The Secret Diaries of Charlotte Brontë), Sarah Shoemaker (Mr. Rochester), Julie Cohen (Spirited), Lucy Powrie (The Paper Hearts Society) and Nikita Gil (a well-known poet, although unfortunately I am unfamiliar with her work.  
The conversation was dense and thought-provoking. The authors touched on many topics and ideas beginning with how each author felt about the Brontës’ work. Their books are about identity and who we are as people - we can live by their ideals, said Lucy. Sarah said that women are still not equal to men in how they are treated today and she loves how Jane does not hesitate to tell Rochester that she does not think him handsome - it’s an unconventional answer, the unexpected one, and it shows how they are opening up to each other and on their way to being equals. Syrie is fascinated by the almost mythical story they lived in their little place in the world. And how you can feel their rage against patriarchal societies in their work. Nikita pointed out that patriarchy erases the role of women, but the Brontës have endured in spite of that.
In their approach to writing stories that revolve around the Brontës and their work, they try to be as reverential as possible and stick to the facts because so much of their lives are known, and their stories can be very autobiographical.  
Julie talked about how we read the Brontës to find out about ourselves. With Villette especially there is a sense with Lucy Snowe that she is hiding a part of herself from the reader and people can relate to that.
The talk ended with thoughts on publishing bias - how women may not need to publish under pseudonyms today, but there is still a bias against what a woman writes and against race, sexuality, and many other things. We as readers need to show that we are interested in reading about a variety of lives and experiences.
In Conversation with Adam Nagaitis
Adam Nagaitis played Branwell Brontë in the film To Walk Invisible and talked with the organizers about his role. They opened by asking him trivia questions about Branwell to see how much he remembered from his research. Adam mentioned that he is still in touch with the actresses who played his sisters which I think is wonderful. They seem to all have gotten along very well.  
Adam read all the classic works on Branwell to prepare, but he also dived into documentaries on alcoholism and it’s gruesome realities to understand Branwell better. Branwell wasn’t mature enough to deal with the vicissitudes in his life - with his relationship with Lydia he was excessive and consumed. He thought that turned her off from him, and that started a cycle where he blamed himself for the failed relationship and his failures in his art.  
Because he was always surrounded by the people who knew him best, he was always reminded of his failure. Adam’s approach was very sympathetic to Branwell and tried to understand him mentally. Adam also talked about how he felt Branwell was never free as an artist. He always needed to work for the family or money but he could have been a brilliant newspaper satirist - something that might have been more along with his interests since he made wonderful biting cartoons.
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In Conversation with Sally Wainwright
The last panel of the conference was a talk with Sally Wainwright - the writer and director of the superb Brontë biopic To Walk Invisible. Sally was approached to write this back in 2010 but she didn’t have time until 2016 which coincided with Charlotte’s bicentenary. It was a tough shoot for her as she felt she didn’t get all the shots she wanted, but the set was fantastic. They recreated the Parsonage as accurately as they could, resulting in a place that is bleaker and more isolated than the actual Parsonage today.  
Sally also mentioned something that I found interesting - that she felt like the “Victorian” speak that people use today in period dramas probably didn’t really exist. We have constructed people in our period drama adaptations to speak in a particular way. And that the inclusion of curse words in her program showed that the characters were very like us - of course Branwell would curse and say the F-word.  
Her approach to adapting the story was always to show it as realistically as possible and she wanted to show how the family was an interdependent team. For people who felt that Branwell was featured too much in the story - it’s important to remember that he was the leader of their gang as children and that when they were older, living with an addict affected their work as can be seen in The Tenant of Wildfell Hall and Wuthering Heights.  
And speaking of Tenant of Wildfell Hall, apparently, Sally is working on a screenplay for the story, although it is on the backburner at the moment. She is having a hard time empathizing with Helen - especially because it is difficult today to empathize with a character who behaves in a certain way solely because of their religious beliefs. I do hope we get to see her adaptation of Anne’s work someday soon though!
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yurimother · 4 years
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LGBTQ Light Novel Review - Bloom Into You: Regarding Saeki Sayaka Vol. 1
*Contains minor spoilers for Bloom Into You*
I have always said that Bloom Into You is a little bit too popular and awarded more praise than the typical and trope-filled story deserves. However, fame and success have their benefits, and thanks to the series’ popularity, we are gifted with the phenomenal light novel spin-off Bloom Into You: Regarding Saeki Sayaka. This wondrous collaboration between the original creator, Nio Nakatani, and famed Yuri author Iruma Hitoma (Adachi and Shimamura) takes the very best elements of Bloom Into You, namely side character Sayaka and her experiences with LGBT identity and life and puts them front and center. The result is a beautiful and important coming of age story about a young woman discovering her sexuality. A story that not only escapes the common traps of the Yuri genre but utilizes and subverts them with flawless execution.
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The first volume in the Regarding Saeki Sayaka light novel trilogy revolves around the titular character before the events of the main series. The entire book is narrated from Sayaka’s first-person perspective and told in the past tense, with Sayaka occasionally giving brief retrospective insights to contextualize her experiences. This presentation excellently frames the story, giving valuable analysis to its events, heck, Sayaka can probably do my job better than I could. The ex post facto storytelling also pairs nicely with the dramatic irony present in the story, provided that the reader has read the manga or seen the anime. On that point, while the light novel effectively stands on its own legs, reading it as a companion piece and prologue to Bloom Into You will significantly increase the book’s impact.
The first of the volume’s two parts, Year 5 Group 3, paints a portrait of childhood Sayaka. She is serious and mature for her age, often pushing herself to be the best in every area, both academic and extracurricular. However, she has apparent social deficiencies, remaining distant at best, and hostile at worst to others. She is surprised, annoyed, and challenged when a student in her swim class attempts to bond with her. The girl displays a strong affinity for Sayaka and, although at their age describing their connection as romantic or sexual feels inaccurate, she clearly yearns for a bond beyond friendship.
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Frustrated by the girl’s advances and erratic personality, Sayaka angrily tells her to be more serious. Determined to win Sayaka’s affection, the girl attempts to mimic Sayaka’s mature demeanor. This act subconsciously implants the idea in Sayaka’s head that people must change themselves to suit the ones they desire, a lesson which later proves dangerous for her. Soon after, Sayaka begins experiencing strange feelings for the girl, which further her frustration. The confused Sayaka attempts to explain away her emotions, “I mean, the person next to me was a girl, and so was I.” However, after a sexually charged moment in the pool, the fearful Sayaka runs away and quits her swimming class.
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This first chapter effectively lays the foundation for Sayaka’s sexual awakening and foreshadows some of the situations in which she will later find herself. Although Iruma’s prose, and Jan Cash and Vincent Castaneda’s translation’ is expressive and beautiful, capturing Sayaka’s inner voice superbly, there are a few flaws. The service described, including details about the locker room and the girls’ swimsuits, is incredibly awkward, especially considering the elementary school-aged characters. The climactic moment between the two, while appropriately dramatic, is undercut by this exploitation and its inherently ridiculous nature. Thankfully the second half of the book, Class 2-C, Tomosumi Girls’ Academy, lacks the off-putting elements of the first and perfectly sets Sayaka up as the character we know and love from the original series.
As Sayaka enters middle school, she becomes slightly less rigid and strict than she was as an elementary schooler. Instead, she is an excellent reflection of the girl seen in the original series, a serious and driven person but reliably kindhearted. She joins the choir club, where she meets Yuzuki Chie, referred to almost exclusively as “Senpai.” Followers of the original will quickly come to recognize this character as Sayaka’s ex-girlfriend, briefly seen in the manga and anime. Yuzuki confesses her love for Sayaka, leaving the latter to ponder the implications of dating her.
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The sequence which follows this confession is nothing short of masterful. A once again conflicted Sayaka struggles to comprehend the possibility of dating Yuzuki. She thinks of the potential relationship as both one between two individuals and as a romance between two people who are both women. In the end, she decides that, although she does not yet love her senpai, she wants to try dating. Their relationship is full of adolescent naivetés and fluttering emotions.
Sayaka lacks a reference to healthy love and relationships, so, just as the girl from her swimming class did, she changes to become a figure that Yuzuki can love, telling her what she wants to hear and doing what will make her happy. For example, although Sayaka does not enjoy novels, she visits a bookstore, which turns out to be the Koito family’s, to buy and read one of Yuzuki’s favorite books. Eventually, their relationship escalates, and Sayaka admits that she has fallen in love with her partner. However, after moving up to high school, Yuzuki begins to pull away from Sayaka.
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Their ultimate showdown and break up is reminiscent of Class S literary themes, with Yuzuki claiming the relationship was play, acting out, and mimicking fiction’s prevailing narrative of romance. However, now that they are nearly adults, and as they are both women, the “play” is no longer appropriate. Sayaka, however, does not feel the same way, and herein lies Regarding Saeki Sayaka’s pure brilliance. Iruma subtly and expertly hides small lines and hints to this difference throughout the book. Yuzuki speaks mostly in romantic clichés as if imitating romance movies or books, “Senpai often speaks like she’s in a story.” However, Sayaka shows genuine commitment and devotion to her partner, working (foolishly) to change herself for Yuzuki and occasionally thinking of their future together, once wondering if they would be together when they were old ladies.
Their actions contradict each other’s so much because Sayaka, the girl who strived to be mature and act like an adult from an early age, does not see the relationship between two girls as immature or a game. To her, it was a very genuine experience that helped lead her to her ultimate revelation and the light novel’s amazing final lines, “I accepted it. It wasn’t understanding or resignation, just acceptance. Of myself, and of the fact that I could only love girls.” Here both the author and the character have openly rejected the S era ideas that love between women is fleeting and childish, Sayaka comes to see herself as a gay woman (although she sadly does not employ this specific terminology). Here the book elevates itself past the original series and embraces the more modern and queerer era of Yuri.
Iruma Hitoma has done the impossible, taking a good Yuri story and transforming it into a great one, rewarding readers with a thoughtful and nuanced experience detailing a young woman’s confusion and strife as she discovers her identity. It is by no means perfect, as all the side characters are thin and underdeveloped, yet they do not need to be. This story is exclusively Sayaka’s, and the others exist only to serve the amazing development and growth gracefully communicated in this stunning light novel.
However, as I wrap up this review, I cannot help but think of how much easier Sayaka’s experience would have been, how much clarity she may have had, and the pain she could have avoided, had she learned about LGBTQ identities and experiences before her tribulations. It is so essential for the young to see positive representation of all peoples in both fiction and reality as they grow up, and perhaps ironically, Bloom Into You: Regarding Saeki Sayaka Volume 1 has joined the elite ranks of titles which can positively impact the lives of its readers. It contains a wonderful, authentic, and grounded story of coming to terms with one’s sexuality. This light novel is an absolute must-read, even if you are not a fan of the original series, and I cannot wait for its continuation, especially as the upcoming third volume hints at a tale about a happy Sayaka and her girlfriend.
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Ratings: Story – 10 Characters – 9 LGBTQ – 9 Sexual Content – 4 Final – 9
Order Bloom Into You: Regarding Saeki Sayaka here: https://amzn.to/31QgIaR
Review copy provided by Seven Seas Entertainment @sevenseasentertainment​
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mediaeval-muse · 4 years
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Book Review
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Not Quite A Husband. By Sherry Thomas. New York: Bantam, 2009.
Rating: 1.5/5 stars
Genre: historical romance
Part of a Series? Yes, Marsdens #2
Summary: Their marriage lasted only slightly longer than the honeymoon—to no one’s surprise, not even Bryony Asquith’s. A man as talented, handsome, and sought after by society as Leo Marsden couldn't possibly want to spend his entire life with a woman who rebelled against propriety by becoming a doctor. Why, then, three years after their annulment and half a world away, does he track her down at her clinic in the remotest corner of India? Leo has no reason to think Bryony could ever forgive him for the way he treated her, but he won’t rest until he’s delivered an urgent message from her sister—and fulfilled his duty by escorting her safely back to England. But as they risk their lives for each other on the journey home, will the biggest danger be the treacherous war around them—or their rekindling passion?
***Full review under the cut.***
Content/Trigger Warnings: dubious consent, infidelity, blood, animal death
Overview: I originally picked this book up because it was on Bustle’s list of feminist romances. I had some success with this list before - I adored The Suffragette Scandal and had a lot of respect for The Raven Prince, so the story of a female doctor defying societal expectations sounded up my alley. Unfortunately, that was the only thing I liked about this book. In general, Not Quite A Husband is not written with a strong sense of direction, and I don’t think it qualifies as “feminist” due to the lack of clear consent during some of the intimate scenes. I didn’t give this book zero or one star because I did like Bryony as a doctor, and her personality was different than a lot of romance heroines I’ve read, but on the whole, I found this book very difficult to enjoy.
Writing: Thomas’ prose is rather plain. While I don’t think romances need to have high brow, poetic, literary prose, I do think they still need to evoke the setting and emotion in order to immerse the reader in the story. While Thomas did have some phrases that did so, much of the book felt like a list of facts or telling rather than showing. The prose didn’t linger on emotional of physical sensations, so the emotional moments didn’t feel weighty and the intimate moments felt robotic. While we get flashbacks so we can see where characters are coming from, we are mostly told rather than shown how characters are feeling in the current moment. For example: “Shame. Self-loathing. Frustration They churned in him, enough to drown him outright” (p. 146). While the hydraulic imagery is nice, I don’t exactly *feel* the hero’s anguish in this passage. Nothing of his inner monologue or POV builds on the feeling of being overwhelmed or unsettled, especially since the scene promptly moves on to dialogue and some exposition.
The scenes themselves also felt awkwardly structured. Thomas had the tendency to end a scene and move on to the next section without giving the reader a sense of purpose or closure. For example, there is one scene where the characters take a break from traveling; our heroine thinks about the region and how she doesn’t want to leave the hero. She becomes overheated, so she fans herself, and our hero speaks to her about the weather. The scene ends with him thinking how beautiful she is. To me, these scenes felt awkward because they didn’t revolve around a milestone in the relationship or reveal much about the characters. The characters don’t discuss the heroine’s feelings about parting, nor does she contemplate how her desire to remain with him are complicated, and we already know the hero is attracted to the heroine at this point, so nothing new is revealed. It just felt like a scene that went nowhere and was just inserted to fill space.
Along similar lines, I think the flashbacks cut in at awkward times. Flashbacks are set apart from the main narrative of this book by italics, and frequently, these italics would interrupt the flow of a scene. I like flashbacks when they are done with a sense of purpose, informing the present action in ways that make the story richer. To me, it felt like flashbacks were inserted randomly in this book.
Plot: This book primarily follows our heroine, Bryony, as she and her ex-husband, Leo, travel back to England from India. Bryony’s sister has asked Leo to track Bryony down because their father is ill, and Leo agrees. The summary on the back of the book suggests that India is a war torn, or that the geography itself is threatening. While we do get some of that, I don’t think the travel narrative was all that exciting. The characters travel, it’s hot, they stop and instruct their guides/staff to make food, and they make puppy eyes at each other while thinking about their pasts. There wasn’t really a feeling of suspense because scenes didn’t build on one another - they just sort of happened, and there were few (if any) external forces that kept Bryony and Leo apart. As a result, I found the travel plot rather dull.
I also don’t think the travel narrative made for a good frame regarding the characters’ backstories. This book makes clear that it’s awkward for Bryony and Leo to travel together because they used to be married, but some event caused them to obtain an annulment and separate. On top of that, Bryony and Leo used to be childhood friends, and both have exciting lives as a doctor and a mathematics professor. None of this backstory seemed to be enriched by the travel narrative - characters weren’t prompted to speak or contemplate their pasts based on events happening in the present, so it felt like things were brought up randomly and for no other purpose than there was nothing else to do. For example, Leo brings out a chess board at one point and the two play a game, but it doesn’t prompt much discussion other than “I didn’t know you played” and “usually men won’t play with a woman who is better than they are.” I wanted to know more - is Bryony a calculating person? Is this a commentary on her life as a doctor/how men underestimate her? I didn’t get the sense that it was, and so many scenes felt empty because the travel narrative and the backstories didn’t line up. Granted, it could have been done differently; characters could have found the journey so boring that they have little else to do but ruminate on their thoughts, but because the writing didn’t evoke the feeling of boredom, I didn’t get the impression that this was the case.
About 2/3 through the book, our protagonists get caught up in one of the uprisings of 1897 in the Swat Valley. Things get a little more interesting from here, but in my opinion, the groundwork wasn’t laid very well to make the uprisings seem like a threat from the get go. I would have liked to have seen Bryony thinking more about how she wants to help people in such a conflict-torn area, or maybe more talk from the Indian characters about how the conflict has affected them. At the very least, I think the conflict could have been built up as the characters travelled, perhaps by them talking more about what they’ve heard about the area as well as the politics involved. Granted, the premise itself is complicated, as we’re following two British characters as they travel through India (there’s some colonial stuff there to untangle), but though I didn’t get the sense that India was being especially exoticized, I also didn’t get the sense that the setting was very important, either. Bryony and Leo could have been in any other location and I don’t think the basic narrative would have changed.
Characters: Bryony, our heroine, is a competent female physician with an aloof personality that is interpreted as cold. For the most part, I liked that Bryony didn’t fit the mold of romance heroines with more whimsical or warm personalities. It made for a different kind of reading experience. However, I don’t think enough was done to show Bryony as a complex character. Her coldness is connected to her childhood trauma and failed marriage, which could have been handled well if we were able to get inside Bryony’s head more. Because of the telling (as opposed to showing), it was hard to determine exactly how the past impacted Bryony in the present. I also would have liked to see Bryony in her job as a physician more, showing off her competence and connecting with patients to show that she’s not truly cold, she just shows emotion differently.
Leo, our hero, is somewhat bland. He’s apparently a mathematics genius, but he barely ever talks or thinks about math. He is shown to be good at running a household and handling logistics, as he plans the whole trip out of India and took care of staff and scheduling while married to Bryony. I wish he had more of an interest or background in using those skills (perhaps by running a business), and that these skills complemented Bryony’s more so that their relationship felt more complimentary. Instead, it seems to get brought up at random, so Leo’s defining characteristic seems to be that he’s attractive.
Bryony and Leo don’t get much interaction with secondary characters for a good chunk of the book. Bryony’s sister and father are like ghostly specters, heard but not seen until 2/3 through the story. The same is true of Leo’s family in that they are apparently very important to Leo, but we are told rather than shown that. By far the strangest choice regarding characters was the fact that during the entire trip out of India, Bryony and Leo are accompanied by a number of guides and staff, but I can’t recall a single line of direct speech from any of them. Given that barely anything happens on this trip, I thought it could have been an interesting opportunity for Indian characters to talk about their lives, or, at the very least, start building a sense of dread or suspense about the ongoing conflicts in the area. Having silent companions felt awkward because, well, we’re in India, but there are few interactions with Indian characters. They’re just there to be hired hands. 
Other: I was not a fan of the romance in this book for one reason: neither character seemed to think it was important to get consent before engaging in sexual activities. I’m not saying that all intimate scenes need an explicit “can we have sex?” “Yes” exchange; what I mean is that I want it to be clear that when characters engage in such activity, it’s because they both want to do so. In Bryony and Leo’s case, there were many scenes where consent was unclear. The first time they have sex, Leo is delirious with fever and he just grabs her and penetrates her without thinking. Bryony goes along with it, but I was still very uncomfortable. Bryony likewise goes to Leo’s tent and starts having sex with him while he is asleep. Later, some flashbacks tell us that Leo used to have sex with Bryony despite her showing clear signs of not wanting to do so, and it got to the point where he would start having sex with her while she was asleep, so Bryony would lock her door at night. I hated this so much. I think the point was to show that Leo was trying to make Bryony less cold towards him, but it honestly felt like rape.
In addition to the dubious consent, I couldn’t quite get on board with the characters’ reasons for wanting to be with each other. It seemed that Leo was in love with Bryony in part because he idolized her when they were children, and in part because he wanted to bring her out of her shell. It would have been ok if Bryony’s flaws were actually flaws, and if he had used methods other than what I described above. Bryony, by contrast, just seemed to like Leo because he is attractive. The book states multiple times that she didn’t notice Leo that much as a child, and she only married him because she hoped his popularity would lend her credibility as a female doctor. They ultimately decide to love one another once they have a near-death experience, so all the real growth happens in the last 1/3 of the book.
It gets worse once it’s revealed that Bryony’s coldness stems from the fact that she caught Leo cheating during their engagement. Leo insists it was only one time, and I think that was done sincerely. I honestly wouldn’t have minded a plot where a hero has to gain his love interest’s trust back after such a thing. Where this went wrong for me is that Leo seemed to blame Bryony for the affair by saying she should have stopped him or called off the wedding, and instead of proving to her that he is sorry, he simply focuses on how much pain he is in. Granted, Leo does say that he did wrong and there was no excuse, but I didn’t see him as a kind, considerate enough lover to believe that he had learned or that he was putting Bryony’s well being ahead of his own desires.
Overall, I was disappointed in this book. Not only was the prose and structure rather  lackluster, but the dubious consent was enough to put me off, and I’m still not sure if the author meant to portray Indians rebelling against the British as bad or just a thrilling adventure.
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its-a-writer-thing · 5 years
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The Advantages of First Person – And When to Use It
The perspective you use in a story can have greater weight and influence than three extra characters. Among the range to choose from, First Person is one of the strongest. It can shape the entire tone of the book, enhance character development, and more thoroughly immerse your reader in the story. It also serves to help writers overcome their own pitfalls and instead turn these into strengths.
Should you use First Person perspective? When is it most advantageous? We’ll discuss that below, in the 5 biggest strengths and uses of First Person perspective.
To help make this point, I’ll be referencing Behind Closed Doors: Trusting The Unseen by L. S. Andersson. It’s a first-person tale of struggle, betrayal, fighting for your life, and gaining your freedom. Not only is it a great book, but it’s a prime example of the strength of First Person perspective, when done right.  
First-Person Perspective Helps:
Character Voice Reign
The key to successfully leveraging First Person is to immerse the prose in the character’s voice. It’s not the writer simply painting the scene – it’s the main character describing things as would be logical to their personality and current focus.
If you’re not excellent at writing descriptions, but prefer to channel the overall mood of a scene, then First Person excels in this department.
It also gives you freedom to play with different writing styles. While one character may quickly pick up on the look in someone’s eye, the next may be distracted by another detail. This allows you to disguise foreshadowing.
In Behind Closed Doors: Trusting The Unseen, the author uses this to define Rebecca’s past experiences and how she approaches the world. Rebecca is prone to noting tics or tells in someone’s expressions, or how they move around her. As someone who has been a prisoner in more ways than one, she’s quick to notice exits and how claustrophobic an area tends to be. In a Third Person perspective, other details may have been worthy of noting, but in Rebecca’s First Person look, we see what’s important to her. In doing so, it reveals more about her character.
Subtle Character Development
The development of a character’s voice can be more telling than the pure events themselves.
In Behind Closed Doors, early on, we see Rebecca’s voice leaning toward long sentences spliced with contradicting thoughts. She thinks of nuances in length and often makes excuses before even confirming her opinion. She tries to see all angles of the situation, even as they are damaging to her. She twists herself in knots - in the prose as in her own thinking - and that’s what helps keep her a victim.
However, as the story progresses, she’s faced with do-or-die choices. At these points, the prose and her state of mind quicken and become crisper. With each situation she faces, this ‘final decision’ portion becomes tighter, with less questioning, less reminiscing, less apologies, and less sympathy for her abusers. This serves as subtle character development. Rebecca is learning from her experiences. Rebecca is becoming more fed up with the things she’s subjected to. Rebecca is learning to stand on her own feet and make no apologies about doing so.
Thanks to First Person perspective, we are not only viewing, but also feeling Rebecca’s character development. The very way she thinks is changing from beneath her – and beneath us as well – which affects the choices she makes. Rebecca of Chapter 2 would not have acted like Rebecca of the last chapter, because, as we can see in the prose itself – she’s a changed person.
Make it Personal
Referring to the character as he/she/they will inevitably place a barrier between the reader and the character themselves – in the most basic sense, because you have a narrator there. This can be lessened to a degree with a Third Person Limited, but nonetheless exists.
In Behind Closed Doors, the story of Rebecca is raw and personal. It follows her journey through abuse, neglect, and betrayal on many levels until her point of hope and self-reliance. Third Person perspective may have been suitable to tell the events, but First Person threw us right into the thick of it. Just as we refer to ourselves as “I” and “me,” we’re better able to immerse ourselves as the very character saying “I” and “me” in the prose.
When you’re hoping to drive home a point more thoroughly, First Person lets you dig right into the characters’ brain and do this. This is best for stories with otherwise unsympathetic characters, for more emotional stories, or for stories where nuances play a heavy role. When you can’t afford the reader missing the finer details, First Person is best.  
Smooth Gaps in Memory
Perhaps you don’t excel at writing transition scenes. Perhaps you’re writing a real life account and don’t have all the connecting information. First Person POV can help you smooth out gaps in memory.
It’s natural for people to forget information that isn’t immediately pertinent. In Third Person perspective, the writer is expected to be aware of these details, whereas in First Person, it’s more natural for this information to have escaped the main character’s mind, especially after time has passed.
In Behind Closed Doors, the story spans many years in Rebecca’s journey for freedom and self-empowerment, with numerous catalytic events propelling her from one to the next. In First Person, the burden lies on the main character to tell her story as she deems fit. She’s not recounting her entire life, but a collection of events that directly led to where she is now. As such, she sticks to the high points – the crucial points.
As such, readers are more forgiving and the transitions are more organic. If you’re looking to tell a specific story, or a large story that needs to be condensed, then First Person allows you to do so more smoothly.
Keep Up Hope
When writing a rather grim or disheartening tale, First Person perspective allows you to reinforce that the speaker is still alive – and still trudging along. It’s a light at the end of the tunnel, subtly reminding readers that hope still exists; after all, if the main character is telling the story, then they must have reached a point where they can tell the story.
In Behind Closed Doors Rebecca is telling her story to a trusted companion at a (currently) undetermined point. The First Person perspective gives us a steady view that she is somehow going to journey beyond her poor circumstances. It also gives the character an opportunity to reflect on the events and drive home the nuances of what we’re witnessing.
When you’re writing a story that needs to keep a note of hope up throughout the grimmer happenings, First Person is a subtle but impactful way to ensure this.
Conclusion
For your next story, or your current one, would it be better told in First Person?
If you’re interested in seeing this done well, want to read a fantastic story of struggle and triumph, and also support a fellow self-published author, check out Behind Closed Doors: Trusting The Unseen by L S Andersson.
Also check out her site, AnamMara.com, where she’s spearheading a project to help abused women find their voice and gain their own independence financially. Proceeds from the book will contribute to making this project a reality.
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hardlyfatal · 5 years
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gary’s writing workshop: lesson 4: showing vs. telling
The main way a writer tells, rather than shows, is when they inform the reader that the narrator is experiencing an emotion or sensing something instead of describing it; or they describe it, but with mundane and bland words that communicate how the character feels without without any effective emotional impact.
Everything we perceive is sensed somehow; that’s how organisms acquire information. Our primary sense is vision, then hearing, then touch. Smell and taste are not so often the bearers of important information, but but when they are, they can have an enormous impact.
And most of the things we perceive spark an emotion of some sort. Humans are very binary creatures; we tend to define things as present vs. absent. If we like something, we want it all the time, and its presence feels good and its absence  feels bad. If we dislike something, we don’t want it, ever, and its presence makes us feel bad, and its absence good.
I know this seems elementary, but stick with me.
Within the umbrella terms of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are myriad terms you can use to elaborate. The awesomest thing about the English language that, since it’s basically half-a-dozen other languages stacked under a raincoat trying to pass themselves off as a single cohesive tongue, we have multiple vocabularies from which to pick an incredibly precise word or phrase in describing what we mean. Germanic, Latinate, Greek, even Norse-- all have contributed a fantastic array of adjectives and adjectival phrases so if exactly what we mean cannot be found in one, there’s a good chance we can find it in one of the others.
With this at our fingertips, why are people not punching up their narrative and bringing their stories to life, to make their prose spring into our mind’s eye? Why are so many stories delivered with so little hint to how things feel to the characters? Because writers simply haven’t been taught how.
The way to make an impact, to bring the reader along with the character, is to describe how the sense, and the emotion attached to it, manifests in the character.
This issue is another Battle of the Balance, because if you show every emotion instead of telling them, you’ll have an endless mess of a story describing people with each nerve ending a-quiver the entire time. That’s exhausting, and will drive away readers. Heck, you’ll drive yourself away – it’s just too laborious.
But by the same token, you need to bring the reader along with the characters as they bumble their way through life, seething with all the messy emotions and feelings inherent in simply existing. If you skimp on this, you will miss opportunities to connect the reader to the characters, to make the reader care about what happens. If you don’t use words that emotionally affect the reader, they’re left feeling like they’re reading a police report instead of a fictional narrative. We don’t want just the facts, ma’am. We want to experience it along with the characters.
So how do you achieve this balance? It’s very situation-dependent.
When to do it:
You have to train yourself to understand and see when a moment – not necessarily an entire scene – will be an emotional one. Just walking into a room isn’t emotional… unless the room is particularly shabby or grand in a way that evokes emotion in the character, or perhaps someone inside the room is a pleasant (or unpleasant) surprise to them. Discoveries, which are often plot points and thus important, are moments that might elicit emotion in the narrative character, and thus could benefit from some showing.
I’m sure you know this already, and take care to include descriptions where pertinent and needed. But are you showing these moments, or are you telling them?
When you describe how something looks, don’t just say it’s lovely; how is it lovely?
From Desperado, the moment Brienne sees Jaime through the jailhouse window:
Then a face appeared on the other side of the glass, and Brienne reeled back with a little scream before she recognized it: those piercing green eyes, that granite-hewn jaw, those sculpted lips, the busted nose that kept him handsome instead of edging into prettiness…
And when Brienne looks at him, does she just flatly recognize he’s handsome, or does his handsomeness elicit some emotional or physical reaction in her?
Brienne took another step back; it was unsafe to be too close to him, for reasons of propriety and sanity and possibly a few other things she hadn’t words for.
“Don’t go,” he said, barely audible through the glass. “Stay and talk to me. It’s so dull in here.”
And then he smiled at her, and Brienne’s heart seized in her chest.
What is shown by the second snippet’s content is particularly important to the purpose of our discussion today. When people are emotional, whether in a positive or negative way, they experience physiological changes. Angry people often narrow their eyes and clench their fists; nervous people might have restless energy or dry mouths and throats.
When an emotionally-fraught moment comes up in your story – indeed, every time a character feels an emotion – go through the five senses. What physical sensation does the emotion cause in their body? What does it look like outwardly? How does it sound and feel? Sometimes even taste and smell can come into it, depending on the emotion.
Here’s the main thing to remember: to show instead of tell, you need to keep a baseline awareness of senses and sensory input going at all times. Whenever a character feels something, think about the situation. Will showing bring a visceral understanding of the moment to the reader? Or will it bog down the narrative because it’s just not that important?
How to do it:
1. Word choice. Have your thesaurus (or thesaurus.com) handy at all times, and instead of the mundane word or phrase you might have chosen, pick a synonym that means basically the same thing, but evokes more of a sensory experience or gives more of a hint of what the person is thinking. In the passage below, where I’ve punched up basically the same thing with more evocative language, I’ve indented instances.
Note: sometimes this means replacing a single word with a phrase, instead. But this not only results in a higher word count – usually a good thing – but often in more elaborate syntax and punctuation, so make sure your line editing/betaing is on point when you do it, to avoid errors. If you have an uncertain grasp of grammar and punctuation, and you don’t have access to a good editor, maybe just stick to straight substitution, word-for-word, instead of expanding from the single adjective to an adjectival phrase, etc.
2. Formatting. With punctuation, emphasis (italics, etc.), paragraph breaks, and pauses, the way you present the words can punch up the emotion and show what’s happening, rather than merely telling. This can be especially effective in dialogue, to indicate pauses as the speaker gathers their thoughts, or stumbles over their words, stammers with nervousness, pauses for impact.
3. Elaboration. Don’t be so concise all the time! Expand on concepts, pinpoint what it is about a situation that’s making the character feel as they do. Give us motivation, contemplation, snippets of history that lead the person to choices and actions and things they say.
Example
Below are two versions of the scene from Desperado where Brienne saves Jaime from hanging by marrying him. It’s not the entire scene, just the pivotal moment where she announces her intention to marry one of the men. The first version is what I published, a version that ‘shows’ what’s happening for peak effectiveness. In the second version, I revised it to ‘tell’ instead.
Note how, in the ‘showing’ version, the word choices make it more visceral, the elaboration spends more time on the emotions Brienne is feeling as well as providing insight to her personality and values and even providing a bit of her history, and the formatting enhances the knowledge that she’s agitated and nervous and struggling.
Original ‘Showing’ Version (word count: 860)
It was time. She had to speak.
It was time.
Now, Brienne.
Now. Now!
“N-no!” she made herself shout. “I invoke the rule of court that commutes a man’s sentence if a woman marries him.”
Judge Baelish’s face contorted in frustration. “What rule of court is this?” he demanded.
Sickeningly aware that the eye of every person in the room was on her, easily hearing the excited whispers coming from all around, Brienne strode forward. She shouldered aside the crowd and thrust the paper in the judge’s face. Baelish snatched it from her hand, his pale eyes darting over it, and a slow flush started at his collar, spreading upward until his entire face was an angry red.
“If you want to see the law book, I’m sure we can… find it and bring it to you,” Brienne told him.
She looked back over the crowd for Sam Tarly. He was there, halfway to the back, bouncing on tiptoes to see over taller persons in front of him, and when he heard her, he waved his arms and shouted, “Yes! I’ve got it!”
“Bring it,” Judge Baelish commanded.
Sam bustled forward and held it out; Sheriff Clegane took it and slapped it onto the judge’s outstretched palm. Baelish opened it to where a slip of paper marked the page, and ran a fingertip down the page until he found the pertinent section. His eyes narrowed as he read, more and more until they were hardly open at all.
Then he lifted his head and shut the book in quick, jerky movements before handing it back to Clegane. Sam took the book back and receded into the crowd.
“Very well. Miss—” he began, his voice glacial.
“Tarth. Brienne Tarth.”
“—Miss Tarth, which of these gentlemen will be your new husband?”
Brienne’s breath sawed in and out of her chest, her lungs heaving so hard they ached. How could she do this?
She thought of who would be left behind, devastated, vulnerable, if he died. Their suffering would be on her conscience for the rest of her life.
How could she not?
She croaked a name, but it was incomprehensible. She licked her lips, swallowed. It didn’t help. She sucked in more air and tried again, louder.
“Jaime Lannister.”
The man in question had hung his head when convicted, not expecting anything but a march to the noose, the very image of dejection. His head snapped up, now, and the dead expression faded from his eyes, replaced by a wild hope. Brienne could only meet his gaze for a second before she flinched away from the force of it.
Behind her, the ballroom had gone absolutely silent for a few seconds that felt like hours. Then, in a rush, everyone started speaking at once. Brienne was sure she could hear Sansa’s voice exclaiming her name.
“I’m sorry,” she said to Jon, her eyes filling with tears. She was the worst friend in the world, the worst person, a liar and a schemer. She didn’t deserve his comprehension, or his forgiveness, but she couldn’t keep from speaking, from trying, anyway. “I’m so sorry, Jon. But his children… they don’t have anyone else. They don’t have anyone. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
His eyes were wide, shocked. There had been confusion on his face at first, but it settled into resignation and a sort of exhausted acceptance.
“I understand,” he said wearily. “I don’t blame you.”
Sheriff Clegane unlocked Jaime’s handcuffs. Jaime rubbed his wrists almost absently; his focus was on Brienne, his sharp green eyes not moving from her for a second. She felt profoundly uncomfortable to be the recipient of such attention, but she couldn’t look away, and she couldn’t stop crying.
“Dry your tears, Miss Tarth,” said the judge in his oily tone. “It’s your wedding day.”
Brienne clamped her eyes shut and took a few deep breaths, reaching inward for the fortitude which had gotten her through losing her mother and Galladon, which had kept her going when they’d had that bad year a while back and thought they’d have to sell the ranch. She had lived through all of that. She’d live through this, too.
When she opened her eyes, they were dry. Her face was hot, and she knew she was still flushed from crying and likely uglier than she’d ever been in her life. It felt like she should be even more ugly, now, her act of treachery in choosing Jaime instead of Jon showing as a physical mark, a scarlet letter like in that book she’d once read, branded on her cheek to warn others away from her perfidy.
“I’m ready,” she said, her voice flat. An unnatural calm had fallen over her. She’d made her choice; now she had to live with it. A brush against her sleeve alerted her that her betrothed had stepped up beside her. She glanced at him, noting that he was very nearly her match in height. That was something, she supposed.
He opened his mouth to speak.
“Later,” she said. “Let’s… just get this over with.”
He blinked, then nodded. Brienne turned to face forward.
And married him.
Revised ‘Telling��� Version (word count: 550)
Brienne was scared and hesitant to speak, but she made herself do it.
“No!” she shouted. “I invoke the rule of court that commutes a man’s sentence if a woman marries him.”
Judge Baelish looked angry. “What rule of court is this?” he demanded.
Knowing that the eye of every person in the room was on her, hearing the whispers coming from all around, Brienne pushed through the crowd and handed the paper to the judge. Baelish looked it over and turned red in fury.
“If you want to see the law book, I’m sure we can find it and bring it to you,” Brienne told him.
She looked back over the crowd for Sam Tarly. When he heard her, he waved his arms and shouted, “Yes! I’ve got it!”
“Bring it,” Judge Baelish commanded.
Sam came forward and held it out; Sheriff Clegane took it and gave it to the judge. Baelish opened it to where a slip of paper marked the page, reading the pertinent section with narrowed eyes.
Then he slammed the book shut and handed it back to Clegane. Sam took the book and stepped back.
“Very well. Miss—” he began in a cold tone.
“Tarth. Brienne Tarth.”
“—Miss Tarth, which of these gentlemen will be your new husband?”
Brienne felt like she couldn’t breathe. How could she do this?
She thought of who would be left behind if he died. Their suffering would be on her conscience for the rest of her life.
How could she not?
She said a name, but it was incomprehensible. She took a deep breath and tried again.
“Jaime Lannister.”
The man in question had hung his head when convicted, not expecting anything but execution. His head came up, now, and he looked very hopeful. Brienne could only manage to look at him for a moment.
Behind her, the ballroom had gone quiet. Then everyone started speaking at once. Brienne was sure she could hear Sansa’s voice calling her name.
“I’m sorry,” she said to Jon, starting to cry. She felt like a terrible person. She didn’t deserve anything from him but she tried anyway. “I’m so sorry, Jon. But his children don’t have anyone else. I’m sorry.”
He looked shocked. There had been confusion on his face at first, but then it turned to tired acceptance.
“I understand,” he said, seeming tired. “I don’t blame you.”
Sheriff Clegane unlocked Jaime’s handcuffs. Jaime rubbed his wrists while staring at Brienne. She felt strange to have him watch her like that, but she couldn’t look away, and she couldn’t stop crying.
“Dry your tears, Miss Tarth,” said the judge. “It’s your wedding day.”
Brienne closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to steady herself. She’d been through a lot in the past few years. She’d live through this, too.
She soon opened her eyes again.
“I’m ready,” she said calmly. She’d made her choice; now she had to live with it. Jaime came to stand at her side and she noticed they were almost the same height. At least they had that in common.
He opened his mouth to speak.
“Later,” she said. “Let’s just get this over with.”
He nodded, and Brienne turned to face forward.
And married him.
Homework
Take the most emotional moment you’ve ever written and evaluate it for showing vs. telling. Do a side-by-side revision of it, as I did above, marking either where you’ve done well in showing or where you’ve done poorly by telling. Where you’ve done poorly by telling, revise what you have to improve it according to the three methods: better word choice, formatting, and elaboration.
© 2019 to me
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