#and when i called today because my benefits are almost up they told me THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE

[montanabohemian]

soooooo this afternoon i found out some devastating news about my current financial situation and am basically screwed. if ANYONE can help me out with rent and some recent medical and vehicle emergency bills, i would so greatly appreciate it. (or just sharing this helps i guess i don't know.)

paypal

#mutual aid #mutual aid request #donations #donation request #basically i've been receiving unemployment and was told one thing way back in july *BY UNEMPLOYMENT* #and when i called today because my benefits are almost up they told me THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE #so for six months i was operating on one set of instructions only to find out at the end of those six months that it was bogus so i'm fucke #like super fucked #so absolutely fucked #i know it's the end of the year / new year / holidays and nO ONE is financially able to help but i just need to put it out there #ALSO IF ANYONE HAS ANY LEADS ON ANY FUCKING JOBS #I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE THAT #cuz i've been applying for jobs like crazy and FUCKING NOTHING #happy new year TO ME #(like i knew this new year was gonna suck but WOW COULD IT SUCK EVEN WORSE SINCE IMMA BOUT TO BE HOMELESS WHEEEEEEEEEE) #(i'm literally still so mad after that phone call and gurl was AWFUL and like 'welp nothing i can do you're on your own') #(and i'm sitting there (after being on hold for well over an hour) going YEAH BUT THIS IS *YOUR* SCREW UP. NOT. MINE.) #(anyway i feel like walking into traffic for real cuz what's the point) #(YES I'M ALLOWED TO BE UPSET AND SCARED OKAY) #signal boost #aid #signal b00st #happy new year

[its-time-to-write]

Jamie tartt friends with benefits would be very fun! I love how you write Jamie it’s so so incredibly lovely

I wrote this bc I’m mad about old men trying to tell me how to do my job.

soft hands hit the jagged ground

It starts off as a joke, really. 

You’re both at the same party and arguing about who’s the better kisser, when suddenly your lips are on Jamie’s and neither of you are quite sure who made the first move. 

You don’t talk much, just enough to say that this competition extends to other physical activities and to order a car, so a few hours later you collapse exhausted on the bed in your flat. 

“Fuck,” Jamie gasps. 

“Fuck,” you agree. 

“We’ve got to do this again sometime,” he says, hand on his stomach as he stares up at the ceiling. 

“Give me ten minutes,” you reply. “Can’t let my twenties go to waste now, can I?”

So yeah, it’s like a thing. 

It’s not a romantic thing, that’s for sure.

It’s a “we just won a match” thing, or a “I had a shit day at work” thing, or “I need to blow off steam and can’t be bothered to pick up a stranger at the club” thing. 

No, romance does not factor in. This is strictly a friendship-type deal. 

It’s great, because neither of you actually has time for a relationship, and hookups are so hit or miss. And besides, you’ve never been extremely thrilled at the idea of some random person knowing where you live. And Jamie’s a little worried that someone will try to steal his jerseys. 

(Not worried enough, apparently, because you manage to make off with one from his Man City days.)

You both swore that neither of you would catch feelings and maybe that would have been true except for the evening Jamie called you and said, “Can I come over?” in a voice you’ve never heard before. 

You’ve barely hung up the phone when he’s knocking at your door, dressed in a suit and actual dress shoes, not trainers, hands leaving your body only for a moment to shut the door and turn the lock. 

He kisses you like he’s got all the time in the world, all slow and hungry.

He touches you almost like you’re someone else, and you’d think it’s strange except you can’t think of anything other than the fact that his body is pressed against yours and he’s holding you like it means something. 

You don’t say anything until you’re walking back to your room wrapped in a towel, water bottles in hand. 

“What was that about?” you ask, handing him his water. 

Jamie barely lifts his head. He decides not to play dumb, to be a little bit truthful. He’s not sure why, maybe because he’s still coming down and his brain doesn’t work proper. 

“Me and the lads were at a funeral today. For Ms. Welton’s dad. Made me feel all fuckin’… strange and shit. Dunno.” He takes a sip of his water and you settle in the bed next to him. 

You nod and say, “Makes sense.” It does. Funerals are fucking strange. The last one you went to had you feeling weird for a month so yeah, you get it. 

You’re both silent for a while longer when Jamie blurts out, “I told Keeley I still loved her,” and then you’re silent again, but it’s a different kind of quiet. The kind where you can practically hear the words oh shit hanging in the air. 

A couple things click into place where they probably shouldn’t, and so you take your cues from Jamie and say what’s on your mind as you blurt out, “Is that who you were thinking of?”

Jamie goes completely still, which is also strange because he’s never still. Always tapping or shifting around or something. 

“Right,” you say, far too brightly. It’s fine, after all. “I understand. Yeah, no, makes sense.”

You’re not sure what else to say after that so you kind of just sit there and wait for Jamie to move again. He does, sits up enough to grab his knickers from where he dropped them off the side of your bed, slide them on, and say, “Better get going. It’s getting late.”

“Yeah,” you say halfheartedly, suddenly very, very tired. It’s doesn’t escape your notice that Jamie doesn’t meet your eyes the entire time he collects his clothes and heads out the door. 

You manage to get up and fish a new pair of underwear from one drawer and a sleep shirt from another, and it’s not until you’re back in your bed that you realize it’s Jamie’s 51 kit. 

But you’re too tired to get up and change so you just leave it and pass out. 

—

You wake up the next morning with way too many emotions to consider, so you let yourself buy a coffee from the shop instead of making one at home. You get an extra shot of espresso to block out the great big warning bells firing in your head. 

You’re not-so-blissfully unaware of the fact that Jamie’s on the other side of town having a similar morning. One that involves going to Nelson Road early to sneak in some extra cardio so he can work off whatever feelings still linger from last night. 

For a brief moment, he considers going to Dr. Sharon. But no, there’s no need for that because it’s all straightforward, innit? He’s a little fucked from the funeral and telling Keeley he loves her, and all he needs is one more good fuck and then it’s all out of his system. 

Except whenever he thinks about your face of all body parts, his chest gets all squeezy. And worse. 

So maybe it’s not so straightforward. 

He does fucking love Keeley, right? He’d take a bullet for her, and he misses talking to her every day. He scrunches up his face and imagines kissing her, nothing too wild, and it doesn’t make his chest tighten. 

That’s a good thing. 

Right?

—

By the time you get home from work, you’ve decided that it’s fine. It’s weird that he was thinking about someone else, but it doesn’t mean anything. Honestly, you two are just messing around until one of you decides to get into a relationship. So yeah, it’s all good. It’s not like you’d date him anyway. 

You’ve been pushing away thoughts like that for years, you’re not about to let them surface now. 

—

Jamie does not particularly want to talk to Dr. Sharon about this. He wants to talk to Keeley, except last time he tried that she walked him all the way to the therapist’s office and left him there. 

He thinks maybe Ted would be good, except he’s not sure Ted would know how to deal with Jamie’s whole “friends with benefits” situation. 

Beard probably would, except his relationship with Jane is one step away from psychotic, so Jamie thinks that he’ll talk to Sam because Sam is smart and probably won’t judge him. 

It works out, actually, because he’s going over to Sam’s for a sleepover since they have an out-of-town match the next day, and need to be up early. Jamie hates waking up early so Sam promised to make sure he wouldn’t press the snooze button on his alarm. 

So yeah, now he’s in Sam’s car (a fucking Tesla, all eco-friendly and shit) and they’re talking about training and brand deals and Jamie asks if Sam’s got a girl, but Sam just blushes and says I don’t know, not anymore before turning the question on Jamie. 

Jamie sighs and puts his face in his hands. “Let’s wait till we ain’t in your fucking car, yeah? It’s too fucking long to say here.”

Sam obliges and just turns up the radio for next eight minutes it takes to get to his house. 

Jamie hauls his bag into Sam’s flat and down on the guest room floor before taking a deep fucking breath. 

Right. He can do this. 

He makes his way to the kitchen where Sam’s pulling something out of a crock pot and Jamie is a little envious of his ability to cook so well for himself. 

Sam is oblivious to Jamie’s internal monologue as he says, “Alright, this girl. Tell me about her.”’

Jamie takes another breath and then the words just come spilling out. 

“I’ve known her since we were fucking…fifteen or some shit and like, we’ve always been friends. But lately it’s been like, what’s the word, friends with benefits? Where we have sex but aren’t dating. It’s been alright, mostly, except yesterday I told Keeley I loved her and things got all fucked up in me head.”

“How so?” Sam prods encouragingly. 

“It’s like…” Jamie pauses. What is it like? “Thinking about kissing Keeley didn’t make me all tingly or nothing. Dunno, felt- wrong. But I think of her face-” he groans. “Shit, man, me heart started pounding like mad. I’ve seen her naked, and it’s her face that gets me. I mean, what the fuck is that?”

Sam’s face is doing some weird contortionist movement, trying to hide his expression, so Jamie says, “Fucking hell man, spit it out before you break something,” and Sam says, 

“I don’t think you love Keeley.”

That makes Jamie mad. Of course he loves Keeley. He’d do anything for Keeley. 

Sam must see it written in his face because he hurries on. “I don’t mean that you don’t have love for her. I mean that you do not seem to love her romantically. It would seem to me you like this other girl.”

Well shit. That’s exactly what Jamie was afraid of. Leave it to Sam to get to the heart of the problem in five minutes, only this leaves him with another problem:

He’s spent the last nine years pretending like he had only friendly feelings toward you. Innocent, like. 

He can’t let all that pretending go to waste now. 

—

You don’t see each other for a week which is fine, because you had decided way beforehand not to meet up until the next weekend. You were finishing a major project at work and he was wrapping up a killer week at training. Hence, Friday night was the night to blow off all that steam.

You’ve successfully squashed any feelings for Jamie. They’re gone, buried deep down once again and you will not let them come back up.

And yet, you’ve put on a pink set under your shirt and sweat shorts, with a little more makeup than you’d gone to work with. Maybe the whole Keeley thing is lingering in your head a little more than you thought.

Whatever. Doesn’t matter.

You grab your keys and head out the door to Jamie’s house.

—

Jamie’s already texted you to let you know the door’s open, so you slip in and turn the lock behind you. The foyer is lit with a dim glow from upstairs.

“Jamie?” you call softly, “You here?”

There’s no response, so you pad up the stairs, stopping only to drop your keys on top of the table in the hall.

“Jamie?”  you say again, peering into his bedroom. Ah. So that’s where the light’s coming from. 

Jamie jumps from where he’s been bending over a candle. “Shit, you scared me. Didn’t hear you fucking come in.”

You smile tentatively, unsure what to say. Jamie shakes out the match and crosses over to the ensuite to drop it into the sink. He comes back out again and dips you into a kiss.

He says, “Nice shirt,” with his lips still against yours, and it’s only then that you remember you’ve put on his old kit, the one you stole the second time you went home with him.

You grin and kiss him again, waiting to be on your own two feet again so you can slide a hand under his sweatshirt. Neither of you have worn anything particularly amazing because it’s what’s underneath that counts, isn’t it?

Jamie’s thinking something similar because he starts backing you up to the bed as you fumble to slip shirts over heads and pants down on the floor. He traces an appreciative palm over a pink flower appliqué, and then you push the last traces of doubt as he hooks a finger under your waistband.

—

“What’s with all the candles?” you ask, when it’s dark enough to be considered nighttime but the clock says it’s technically morning.

“Setting the mood,” Jamie replies, voice gravely and just a little bit raw.

“Hmm,” you say. “Glad you didn’t burn the house down.”

Jamie’s been pressing kisses up your bare arm and you can feel him grin at that. “Psh. I’m an adult now. I’m fuckin’ responsible.”

“Sure,” you chuckle, then shiver as Jamie’s mouth has found its way to a spot behind your ear. “You ready to go again?”

“No,” Jamie replies between kisses, “What makes you think that?”

“Just a hunch,” you say as you roll on top of him. You trace his lower lip with your thumb, and he takes that opportunity to his it. And to run his knuckles up your sides.

“Fucker,” you hiss. “That tickles.”

He smirks, a real one, with his eyes all heavy-lidded and the barest hint of his teeth gleaming in the candlelight. 

“Yeah?” he whispers. “What about this? Does this tickle?”

He actually fucking dances his fingertips up your sides as you gasp and try to get off of him. He’s not having it, because he rolls you over and continues tickling you as if you hadn’t just been fucking fifteen minutes ago. 

You’re laughing and half-heartedly pushing at him and it’s so ridiculous that you stop trying to get him away and instead press as much of your skin against his as you can. 

He’s whispering in your ear, a combination of crude jokes and compliments, the kind that makes a blush bloom from your chest all the way to the tips of your ears.

God fucking damn it, he’s going to be the death of you, but you can’t make yourself stop smiling.

He’s still murmuring in your ear and he’s saying something about how fucking gorgeous you look, how fucking beautiful you’d look on the side of the pitch with his number on or as his date to some event and how everyone would be jealous because you’re so fucking hot, but you belong with him and he’s the one who gets to see you last thing at night and first thing in the morning.

It’s so utterly ridiculous.

He’s only saying it because he’s so far gone.

It’s so. Utterly. Ridiculous.

“Jamie, we can’t date,” you say between giggles.

He pauses to ask “Why not?” and the remnants of your laughter die in your throat. Oh shit. One good look at his face tells you he’s not joking. 

“Jamie,” you say again, this time more seriously, “Jamie, we really can’t date. That’s not how this works. You’re supposed to date a model or an actress or something, and I’m supposed to date, like, an accountant. Or a lawyer.”

“Why?” Jamie asks, accent thick as it’s ever been. 

“Because,” you reply. “I’m not really the trophy-girlfriend type. And… we’ve been friends pretty much forever. It’d mess everything up when we break up.” He’s still on top of you, propping himself up on his elbows so he can see your face. You want to point out that this is a conversation that probably requires clothing, but you don’t actually want that so you stay silent.

“What if we didn’t break up?” he suggests. 

You bark out a short laugh. “It doesn’t work like that. You can’t just choose not to break up.”

“Can,” he responds.

“Can’t,” you counter. 

“Don’t be Roy Kent,” he says.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” you reply. “And anyway, I’m way sexier than him. And less scratchy.”

“You fucking like when I tell you what to do,” he says. 

You make a face. “I like it when it’s sexy. This is not sexy. This is sad and stupid, and we promised we wouldn’t have this conversation.”

“You promised,” Jamie reminds you. “I just didn’t disagree.”

He’s not wrong.

“Fine,” you say, pushing him a little so he’ll get off you. 

You sit up and wrap the sheets around your chest, pulling your knees close. “You told me less than a week ago that you were still in love with Keeley, and now you want me to date you? I love you, but you’re just getting your wires crossed because we’re having sex.”

Jamie shoots up, mouth open and you realize what you just said. 

“Shit, not like that, I mean as a friend, not- not as- I don’t know, I didn’t mean to say that,” you stutter out.

“I love Keeley as a friend,” Jamie says. “Talked to Sam about it, and he says I don’t know how to tell the difference between a friend and fucking romance. He said I’m fucking in love with you, not her, and he’s fucking right.”

You’d say that sounds like the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard, except you’ve known Jamie for nine years and yeah, that sounds like something he’d do.

“Right,” you say slowly, “and you just now started feeling this way?”

He hesitates before deciding fuck it. “Nah. I think- I’ve been pretending like I didn’t since we were like, fuckin’ sixteen, probably. Didn’t want to screw it up though, did I?”

You shake your head before saying, “No, I guess not.”

“And anyway, us being together is that different from what we do now,” he continues. “Dating just means we can like, hold hands.”

You laugh and ask, “Is that the only thing that’s going to change?” but you can feel your resolve softening. Jamie can feel it too.

“Nah,” he says, feeling confident to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “I can tell you that I love you. And kiss you just because. And get me mum off my back about never making a move on you.”

You say, “Hmm,” as if you’re considering it, but he knows you’ve already made your decision by the way you reach for him with both hands with a smile beginning to bloom across your face.

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

[scekrex]

It's me, yes it's me! I know you were all waiting for me! :DD

Yes, yes, it's an another crack fic, yippeecayay, mfers 🤠 Adam and reader arguing about something, might be something stupid or something serious, obviously they still love each other but both of them are insanely stubborn so neither wants to admit they are wrong. The reader goes to cool off, he meets up with a friend and start to just vent his frustration to them when lo and behold, Adam shows up to... Well "apologise" in his own unique way and it's basically him just seeing the location where reader is (They're sharing their locations, Adam's heart cannot handle anymore stress with reader going missing even if for a few minutes), showing up with his badass axe guitar and strumming it, going "I love you bitch... I ain't ever gon' stop loving you... Biiitch", reader's friend just looks at him with the biggest "Really? You actually LOVE him?" and reader just looks back at them with the goofiest grin: "We'll, he's dumb and overly stupid, but he's my dumb and overly stupid man" shrugging his shoulders and goes to Adam to kiss him, just to then smack him and then kiss him again 👀

Babes, I once again have to say that I love your crack prompts, at this point these r the air that keeps me alive bc holy fuck they make me laugh every fucking time.

Do you even

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, fighting (not physically but verbally), slightly cracky

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

“Adam, just shut the fuck up for a second, would you?” you exclaimed harshly as you massaged your temples in order to try and keep calm.

He had been ranting about his bitchy band mate who had ditched him last minute before an important gig and you had enough of it. Ever since the both of you had woken up in the morning all Adam had been talking about was ‘how fucking done he is with that bastard’ and ‘how fucking dare that whore to ditch him last minute because he was the fucking Adam and the fucking Adam wasn't someone you'd ditch to fuck some random - and ugly, his words not yours - bbl bitch'. “Just shut the fuck up for a couple seconds okay? I get it, that fucker ditched ya, it was shitty of him, but for the love of God, stop acting like a motherfucking child and get the fuck over it.”

The brunette's hands were on his hips as he shot you a venomous look, “Well, if you would care you wouldn't mind me bitching about something that meant a whole fucking lot to me.” You couldn't help the huff that escaped you as you closed the gap between the both of you, your index finger aggressively tapping his chest as you looked up at him. Because what the actual fuck? You cared, you cared a lot and usually you didn't mind it when he was bitching about something, but you've had a headache all day and Adam wasn't being helpful with his constant talking. You couldn't even bring yourself to feel sorry for snapping at him, you had told him that you weren't feeling well today and yet he had strictly ignored that just for his own benefit. “You know what? Fuck you, Adam. You can suck my fucking dick for saying that. I fucking care, okay? Any ordinary bitch would've left you by now but I fucking didn't because I love you, for heaven's sake. So quit the motherfucking attitude already,” there was truly no way for you to swallow all the anger that was seething inside of you and you really couldn't care less. “I’m out of here, fucking call me when you decided to quit acting like a goddamn manchild,” and with that you grabbed your phones and keys and rushed out the apartment.

Once the door was shut you broke down entirely. Yes, you and Adam had different options on some things, nothing major though, but fighting like that? That was a thing that had never happened before, not when you started dating and especially not after you married him. Fighting with Adam felt exhausting, you hated how your heart hurt - it almost felt like physical pain. So you did the only logical thing and unlocked your phone to call your best friend.

Arlo was someone you could always count on and that was proven one more time when the man had pulled up to the park in no time - that's where you had asked him to meet you - and he came in company of milkshakes. He handed you the cup as he sat down on the bench next to you. “So, you finally figured out that Adam is a huge bitch huh?” that earned Arlo a glare. Yes, you were mad at your husband, but that was no reason to insult the man you loved so dearly. “Quit it, I'm not breaking up with him because of one single fight,” you mumbled as you took a sip of your milkshake, realizing Arlo had managed to get you your favorite flavor. That brightened the mood at least a little. “Look Y/N, I'm all for love ‘n’ shit, but Adam, seriously? I mean you of all people should know how big his ego is and he just proved this by ignoring your well-being,” the blonde continued to rant about your husband and while Adam's ego was huge, his love for you was bigger.

He didn't let outsiders notice the ways he looked at you during gigs, he made it seem casual when his wing wrapped around your shoulder when you two walked through the streets like it was a thing people casually did - they didn't. Touching the wings of another angel, let alone use your wings to shield someone was a big deal due to the wings being hypersensitive. He always remembered what you liked and what you disliked, no matter what you were talking about. He knew and respected a lot of things when it came to you, things he didn't even tolerate when it came to others. He loved you and while for strangers eyes it wasn't visible, it was everything to you.

“Arlo, I didn't fucking call you so that you can tell me what a shitty husband I have, he loves me and I love him, he cares and just because we had one fight in six thousand years won't make me throw this relationship away so you either shut it or you leave, that's up to you,” you snapped at the blonde angel next to you and it seemed to do the job because Arlo closed his lips around the straw of his own milkshake and seemingly swallowed all the hatred he hold for Adam. You knew Arlo was trying to cheer you up, but he was doing a shitty job at that. Down talking your husband wasn't something you would let slide wordlessly. Because when Adam wanted, he was very much able and willing to serve you the world on a golden platter. He had risked a lot for you already and you were aware he would do it all again.

-

In the meantime Adam was still at your apartment. The second you had slammed the door shut behind you he realized how badly he had fucked up. There had always been different options on certain things, that was fine though. Usually you guys were able to talk it out and find a solution that made both of you happy, you never had a fucking fight in over six thousand years and now the fight had been intense enough to result in you leaving.

He had fucked up badly and he knew it.

But he couldn't just wait for you to come back. In the name of the almighty lord above, Adam wasn't even sure if you'd come home for the night. What if you were to stay with a friend until tomorrow, maybe even longer? No, he needed to solve this now. So he did the first thing that came to his mind and checked your location.

When you two had just started dating he had been losing you a lot, mainly because whenever you saw something that you liked or that you thought he might like you were running off to get that thing. So the two of you had agreed to constantly share your location with each other and ever since then that had never changed, these days it was a simple habit. The little icon on the map was pinned on the park. Good, that wasn't too far.

So the man grabbed his guitar and left to apologize.

-

Arlo’s eyes scanned the park for a moment, then he groaned quietly, “Speaking of the devil.” You turned your head to look over to where your blonde homie was looking at and couldn't help but roll your eyes.

Adam was walking straight towards you.

He had his guitar in his hand as he confidently walked across the park just to stop in front of the bench you and Arlo were sitting on. You weren't the only one annoyed by Adam's presence, the blonde angel next to you was just as pleased to see the leader of the exorcists as you were and he let Adam feel that they didn't want him there. “The fuck you think you're doing?” Arlo hissed at the brunette who was simply ignoring that they were even there. He sighed as you looked at you, something in his mimic told you he was sorry but you weren't able to see the guilt in his eyes due to his stupid mask. Fuck, he really couldn't leave that thing at home for just one day, could he?

Adam adjusted the guitar in his hands, made sure his fingers were placed on the right strings and then he started to play a kinda shitty sounding tune - knowing Adam it was shitty on purpose, there was no way he'd accidentally play bad. “I love you, bitch,” he spoke the words more than he sang them but it definitely made your lips twitch up in a grin. Arlo shot you a critical look, they were having none of it. “I ain't ever gon’ stop loving you,” there was a pause, then he finished, “Bitch.”

And that made you full on chuckle, the glimpse of hope that was suddenly visible through Adam's expression showed you that he knew he had fucked up, that he was sorry. And maybe he would apologize properly once the two of you were back at your apartment. “You’re not gonna simply forgive him with that sad excuse of an apology, right?” Arlo asked in shock as you got up and took a step forward to be able to wrap your arms around the first man's waist. “You ain't ever gonna stop loving me, huh?” you asked teasingly as your finger poked him in his side which made him flinch a little. “Dude, Y/N, he fucking overstepped boundaries and you just gonna forget and forgive because he pulled out his shitty guitar and played two chords?” Arlo complained and stepped up to the both of you, they seemed genuinely furious about it. “The fuck’s your problem man, this ain't your fight, this is our thing to deal with,” the brunette growled at them but they didn't care. To be honest, they never cared about anything Adam said or did to them, no matter if it was something positive or negative. “You’re seriously telling me you love that guy?”

You weren't giving Arlo the satisfaction of attention, instead you pulled Adam's mask up so that the LED face was resting on top of his head and the horns of it were near his neck. “I want a proper apology once we get home, if I don't get that, I'll find some other place to crash at for the night, am I clear?” you explained how it would go, all the playfulness was gone, there wasn't a smirk on your lips anymore and your eyes told Adam that you were serious about it, “And then I'd like to talk it out so that we can find a solution in case that shit should ever happen again.” The leader of the exorcists was quick to nod, followed by a loud and clear, “Yes, sir.” And for the moment that was enough. Enough to lean in and kiss him. Adam melted against your lips immediately, a small moan managed to slip past his lips. But the kiss ended as abrupt as it had started and Adam felt your hand on the back of his head, the mask caught most of the hit but he still felt it, “You fucking idiot.” That made said idiot grin one of his stupidly cocky grins, “Maybe, but at least I'm your idiot.” This time it was him who started the kiss, his wing quickly came up to block the view for Arlo, who was watching the two of you a little too intensive for Adam's liking.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #adam x male reader #male reader #adam x y/n #adam x reader #adam x you

[judesmoonbeauty]

Fairytale Final Assessment 1st Anniversary SE: Jude Jazza's POV Chapter 2 ཐིཋྀ

Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do NOT post my translations elsewhere.

Translation notes are marked with *** Alternate translation is marked with/// Hour Glass Banners Credit: @/natimiles ཐིཋྀ

I glared at Kate at a distance where the tips of our noses touched.

(Ha…….Really, not good.)

(Her eyes.)

Despite being pinned down and being shown the overwhelming difference in power, Kate’s eyes never gave up.

She glared at me too straight on, with a glow in them. 

(……Ah, something like this happened before.)

She was kidnapped on my birthday, and had collapsed because she didn’t leak any information about me.

When I saw her injured, my core went completely cold. 

FLASH BACK TO HIS BD STORY

Jude: As ya said, I'm threatenin’ ya now.

Jude: But ...... I could snap your neck in an instant. Besides, the people I'm dealin’ with won't even hesitate.

Jude: If you're aware that you're being pushed away, I'm sure a smart young lady would know what to do.

Kate: I would have stayed out of it if I could have.......

Jude: But?

Kate: Every time we go on a mission together or escape from a predicament, I realize various things and change.

Kate: I don't mind that kind of change in myself.

FLASH BACK ENDS

I don't remember being kind to her or taking care of her carefully.

There have been times when she looked at death.

She has learned so much that she can no longer be called a “naive young lady.”

Despite this, she is a brazen woman with annoying eyes who maintains her clean side even when she knows of dirty maliciousness.

(I know I like this girl.)

(It’s interesting to see the fighting spirit that comes from her, but…)

(If I don't kick her out now... one day...she’ll die.)

(Then, why don't I draw the line here?)

I put my hand around Kate’s neck and squeeze it tighter than I did that day.

Kate: …..Ts…….ah.

Jude: I told ya before that when your carotid artery is constricted, ya instantly can't breathe.

Jude: Are ya scared? Is it painful?

Jude: If you're going to give up here, I'll make it easy for ya, but what are ya goin’ to do?

Kate: Oh……ugh.

Jude: I can't hear anything. Could ya speak more clearly?

When I applied more force and tried to knock Kate unconscious, Kate’s arm suddenly pushed me away.

Kate: Cough….cough……

Jude: Ha, you’re so powerful.

Kate: Again, please!

Jude: ………

(This girl, really?)

After that, Kate kept coming back to fight again and again.

Perhaps Ellis couldn't bear to see it, and suggested another game, 

Even so, I still ate many episodes…..***

Kate: …….

Jude: Ha, ya look exhausted.

Jude: There's no need for me to sign the consent form. Why don't ya give up quietly and pack your things?

Kate: There's still time until today ends.

Kate: I won't give up until you sign it.

Ellis: Kate…..

(She really is a stubborn woman. There's no end to it.)

It's not that I didn't imagine this would happen.

Jude: I don't want to be with ya forever. Let's go settle the matter. 

Kate: This is the port where you manage the logistics depot, right Jude?

Jude: As ya know, we rent our warehouses to others with interest.

Jude: There was a man there who was making a living doin’ bad business.

Kate: I'm sure... something like that happened before, right?

Kate: He was using Jude's warehouse for human trafficking...a man with a bowler hat!

Ellis: That's when Kate was with Jude for the first time.

Jude: What a good memory!

Kate: I was attacked and almost killed, so even though I hate it, I will never forget it.

Kate: So, since you brought me here, you're trying to make me do something, right?

Jude: There’s a guy who has done something similar to that man in the bowler hat.

Jude: He’s got some classified documents hidden somewhere in a warehouse up ahead.

Jude: Get me those classified documents and then we'll talk. 

Kate: I’ll find the classified documents that’ll benefit you, Jude.

Kate: If I find them, will you sign it?

Jude: That’s what I’m sayin’.

Jude: I’m not patient, I’ll only wait until midnight.

Kate: I understand. Your promise is absolute.

Ellis: Kate, so you want me to follow you?

Kate: Thank you, Ellis. But this is my game, and I'll do my best on my own.

With that said, Kate ran away from the scene.

Ellis: A guy doing bad business in a warehouse who is hiding classified documents. Just like the one I killed yesterday……..

Ellis: Jude, no way!

Jude: No, of course not. There is no such person or classified document anywhere.

Jude: She’s gonna keep looking for something that's not there, and at midnight, I'm gonna call it a night.

Ellis: It's like Cinderella in bad taste.

Jude: The best fairy tale mistake.

Lighting a cigarette, I inhale the smoke deeply into my lungs, and exhale.

(Now she’s washed her hands from Crown with this.)***

(This is a happy ending. It's a lukewarm happy ending that suits her.)

He tossed the shortened cigarette to the ground and stomped it down with his foot.

The on-site supervisor came running towards me, the color of his complexion changed.

Supervisor: Mr. Jude, why are you here? I’ve been trying to contact you! 

Jude: What happened?

Supervisor: You remember that guy you sent to the lab for illegal human trafficking here before.

Ellis: Is that.….that's the guy in the bowler hat who Kate was talking about earlier, isn't it?

Supervisor: That man escaped from the lab and attacked a weapons store. He killed the clerk and stole a gun...

Supervisor: As he was escaping he said he was going to kill Jude Jazza!

Jude: ………

Supervisor: The man's goal is revenge against you. Please run away and hide yourself quickly…..

FLASH BACK

Jude: We had a contract that said you couldn't buy or sell humans, right?

Bowler Hat Man: I'm hoping you'll let me off the hook there.

Bowler Hat Man: Well, even poor people can sell at a good price.

Bowler Hat Man: It'll line your pockets and clean up this docklands cesspool that is the Port of London.

Jude: ……….

Bowler Hat Man: You, who love other people's misfortune and money, will let me off the hook, won't you?

Bowler Hat Man: If you agree, your lover will be returned to you unharmed.

FLASHBACK ENDS

(He’s seen Kate’s face.）

Jude:…..Damn, how bad can her luck be?

Supervisor: Oh, hey, Mr. Jude, where are you going?

Ellis: Jude!

Running through the bay, I opened the doors of the warehouses with a fine-tooth comb.

(……Where the hell is she?)

Then I heard a noise in one of the warehouses.

When I opened the door to the warehouse, I found-

[Previous] [Bitter End] [Premium End] [Master List]

***HELP! I could not t/l this line to save my life! It’s a simple sentence (?), but it literally said he was consuming editions. I managed to t/l it into “episodes” after a lot of research. I believe he is implying that because Kate keeps coming back to spar with him, he is comparing each fight to an episode and consuming it as his win and her loss??

*** 足 denotes leg or foot. 洗 denotes cleansed, scoured, wash. So, I decided to nix leg/foot and use hands as an alt since westerners are more familiar with that term.

#ikemen villains #Ikemen villains translations #ikevil #ikevil translations #jude jazza #ikevil jude #ikemen jude #ikemen jude jazza #cybird translations #ikevil spoilers #ikevil jp #ikevil jp spoilers #Jude Jazza POV

[lisbeth-kk]

May Prompts

It's the day of the Fall in the Sherlock fandom...needless to say that today's prompt is fall...

The Luckiest Girl in the world (chapter 4)

Summary: Rosie starts to interact with her uncle in earnest, much to Sherlock and John's delight. Mycroft is not that amused...

Four Years Old

Shortly after our seaside visit, things were set in motion by the British Government, aka Mycroft Holmes. Papers were signed, and a few months before my fourth birthday, I was Sherlock’s legal daughter. My Papa. God, how I love him. Just as much as I love Dad. And the adoption came with more benefits. I got an uncle and two grandparents as well.

My uncle Myc, as I call him, which he wrinkled his nose at in the beginning, is a complex man. Like his younger brother, but also different. The walls around him are thicker and not as easily penetrable as Papa’s. Gaining access to Mycroft Holmes’s heart, is no easy feat. Only a handful of people have managed it, and I’m the last one in line. Walls can indeed fall.

Dad told me how Papa constantly bickered, argued and fought with his brother, but Dad knew there was love there. Uncle Myc did anything in his power to keep Papa safe, and later Dad and me.

When I started to really interact with my uncle, Papa apparently had the time of his life, because at the age of barely four, I had no idea who Mycroft Holmes really was, or what he was capable of. I just saw a pompous man, always dressed in a three-piece suit, and carrying an umbrella. The latter spurred my brain, not to mention my tongue, into action.

“Why do you always have that parasol with you?” I asked and pointed at his umbrella.

Papa rumbled and Dad chuckled. It was Papa who had told me the name of the item. 

“It’s an umbrella, Rosamund,” he said stiffly and glared daggers at his brother, fully knowing who had “taught” me the name.

I didn’t care what the damn thing was called, but stared stubbornly at him and waved a hand, as Papa used to do when he didn’t want to be troubled with trifles.

“Why?” I asked sternly, lifting my chin in challenge.

“Oh, John. That surely is the spitting image of what you looked like when you turned his offer down in that garage all those years ago,” I heard Papa say.

I had no idea what he was talking about, and didn’t bother asking, so I continued staring my uncle straight in the eyes, daring him to deny me an answer. 

“You got your stubbornness from your dad,” Papa always says.

Uncle Myc cleared his throat and sat down on the sofa, before he explained some nonsense, I didn’t believe for a second. How the British weather is unpredictable, that he sometimes needed it for support if his leg should, for some reason, give way. At that point Papa and Dad snorted in unison and I rolled my eyes. That got me a tiny hint of a smile. It probably reminded him of his brother when he was my age.

“When you’re old enough, I will take you to the shop that makes these, and let you choose your very own,” he offered in a tone that was supposed to be friendly, but his lack of training in that area, made it sound more like a threat.

***

“Did you see his face, John,” Papa laughed when everyone had left my birthday party.

Dad giggled and was almost unable to answer, clinging to Papa’s arm like it was the only thing preventing him from falling.

“I did! Please tell me he still got surveillance cameras in the flat,” Dad said breathlessly and looked up at Papa with a pleading expression.

Papa bent down and kissed his forehead, and whispered something I couldn’t discern. It clearly contained something sentimental, because Dad cupped Papa’s face and murmured “love you”, before they started laughing again.

The reason for this silly behaviour had everything to do with Nana’s gift. It was an umbrella. Light green, with yellow flowers, green plants, and a white bird with a large beak on the rim. That in itself, wasn’t what got my fathers into a fit of giggles, but rather my outburst after I’d thanked Nana for it.

“Look, uncle Myc! I got one too. Just like yours. “

Also available on AO3

Tags in the replies.

#mayprompts2024 #may 4: fall #sherlock fandom #rosie watson #sherlock #john watson #bbc sherlock #johnlock #sherlock fanfic #ao3 fanfic

[adambja]

If you literally tried the void but didn't work for you I got you covered bestie 😭

I am working on a tape that will be released soon by the 25th of October it will be available for everyone to buy

This tape literally has everything self-concept but different from the main self-concept tape I sell it gives you the ability to change and control SELF to control and have a life altering experience without the void 😭!!!! This will be totally crazy to everyone here who doesn't really manifest normally or has problem to have that ability to do all this within only 3 days of listening to the tape lmaooo even you will have the ability to reprogram your subconscious mind with your thoughts instantly what i mean is not normal programming 😭😭😭😭!!!

This benefit I am working on (still testing its safety) it makes your brain create new fully developed neurons in your brain to have these beliefs and assumptions and it kills all the opposite neurons that has opposite beliefs/assumptions/feelings 😭😭

I said it before and I am gonna say it again I am a neurologist I studied neuroscience for almost 3 years and finally I am using it to increase the ability of the subconscious mind in a safe way like yes the subconscious mind already has that ability but you don't know it because since you were growing up you were literally told about the things your body can and can't do which is all wrong cause all of this can change since nothing is really real 😭!!! I am so proud of myself and the fact that until now this benefit is actually safe and it's working on me and other people even like on the long-term period is crazyyyyyy - for almost a month (the longest period) I am testing it i made the first version in 3 days during New York Fashion Week and I called one of my professors to help me because I needed to know if it's safe or not and it is safe he was like "you should try it I am sure it works pretty well if you are the one who worked on it I can't forget what you did when I was teaching you and send me a copy of the benefits and the other things you added if you really want to be sure I will check it and send you an email about all the things I noticed" and he sent it to me on October 9th and ma'am he gave me more ideas to add and he asked me if he can buy it and all of this is crazy and if he can use that early version until I make the full one 😭😭!!!!

Bitches I never thought it's that big of a deal making tapes 😭😭😭!!!!

And that's what I used my knowledge in

You literally can change people with only your thoughts and it's instant it's not complected at all simple easy even the reality itself! Your assumptions change instantly and it's effective from the first thought you don't have to think 9337873637 times to get anything you want

You already have it when you think once that's it

It will be a long ass tape I will have 3 versions a 1h and 30 mins tape - a 2 hours tape - a 2h and 30 mins one

Also the subconscious mind is 90% finished the only reason I didn't send it to anyone who bought it is because I am thinking of more affs and more benefits to add

Finally the results of the void experience will be released today all of them cause I already scheduled all of the days to be posted on October 17th which is today this was like days ago so yeah 🫡 I didn't forget

Update: it's still not available but you can buy it and I will send it to you when it's ready

#law of assumption #loa #neville goddard #loassumption #self concept #void success #loa success #self development #success stories loa #self esteem #non dualism

[brianwashere]

So, hear me out. A male reader that is Roy‘s teenage brother. Roy and Jason started dating a few months ago (bcs JayRoy gives me life) and Jason starts hanging out at Roy‘s home more often and is initially really cold to reader (because it‘s Jason, he needs his time). But eventually he really warms up to reader and becomes almost a paternal figure? Just maybe? For me? Please?

-🌱

You are so real for that 🌱.

Have this as a little post op treat! I hope it went well and your happy with it!

**I do not own any characters or part of the franchise from DC**

Pairing: teen!male!reader x platonic!father figure!Jason

Genre: family? Found family?

Summary: go to req

Tw: cussing

Your older brother didn’t have many partners. Serious partners. A few flings, some one night stands, nothing permanent. So when Jason showed up you expected it to be just like that

So when he never even recognized your presence—and when he did he was an asshole—you expected it to just blow over and have him gone in a week max.

The one week mark was 3 weeks ago.

“So…what’s the deal with Jason?” You asked Roy one morning after they’d been together for about a month.

“The…deal?” He asked, confused.

“Well is he like—friends with benefits? A quick fling? One night stand that’s happened 15 times? A booty call?” You suggest, Roy’s face getting more sour with every label you throw out.

“What?” He pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly irritated.

“He’s just been spending more time here and I just thought maybe you shouldn’t sleep here with your fling—“ Roy cut you off.

“He’s not a fling!” Roy yelled.

His tone surprised you. Sure he yelled at you sometimes, but never over something as small as this.

“Jeez man, ok. Calm down…” You muttered.

Your older brother ran a hand down his face.

“He’s my boyfriend. Not friend’s with benefits. Not a one night stand. Not a fling. Not a hooker. He’s my boyfriend.” Roy explained in a clipped tone.

You just blinked at him.

‘Seriously?’

“Mkay…” You said skeptically, grabbing your backpack for school.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

You and your best friend, Matty, walked out of school together. You two always walked as far as you could together before you had to go separate ways.

“—No that’s what I was telling him because what if they actually want that and just don’t know how to tell him.” You explain to them.

“Yeah, yeah, I get your point.” Matty agreed. “On the topic of relationships…” they started, laughing some.

“How’s your brother and that asshole going? He gone yet?” They teased.

“No! No! No! You’ll never believe it—hold on. Today. This morning. Roy told me they were like—an actual relationship. Like. Boyfriends.” You spoke quickly, still in shock at your stupid brother and his stupid boyfriend.

“No fucking way.” Matty barked a laugh, shoving you slightly.

“Yup.” You smiled at their reaction and pushed back against them.

“It’s just so fucking annoying. Jason’s such an asshole. He’s so—so mean. Roy can do better. I know he can!” You groaned in annoyance.

“Hey man, I’m sure it’s not actually permanent. Just give it time, they’re bound to split eventually.” Matty advised.

“Yeah yeah…” You sighed as the split in paths approached. “Anyway…bye Matty! See you tonight? Street race, right?”

“Yeah man! I’ll pick you up at 8:00.” Matty confirmed.

“How gentlemanly of you.” You teased, walking off towards your apartment.

Matty rolled their eyes and waved.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

You walked inside and your eyes were assaulted by the image of your brother and Jason cuddled on top of the couch in the living room. Cuddled was the PG version of it. They were more like cramming each other’s tongues down their throats.

You grimaced and made a face like someone shoved a lemon slice in your mouth. Even that would be a more pleasurable experience than this.

You started to walk off when Roy finally noticed you and shoved Jason off because Jason was keen on ignoring you. He gave you a look when Roy’s attention was turned to you.

“Hey, how was school?” Roy was breathless and had disheveled.

“You have spit on your chin.” You deadpanned, walking to your room.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

You were sitting on the couch, waiting for Matty to pick you up when Jason walked into the living room. You glanced at him then returned to scrolling on your phone.

That was until Jason slumped down on the other side of the couch.

You side eyed him but didn’t say anything. He put his feet on the coffee table.

“Take your feet off the table.” You instructed.

Jason glanced at you and then at the table.

“Yours are on the table.” He pointed out.

“I live here. You don’t.” You said simply, not looking up from your phone.

“Where are you going?” Jason asked, sounding only half interested.

“Why do you care? Thought you’d be face sucking my brother right now.” You spit back.

“We did. Lots. Passionately. He’s showering right now.” Jason gave in too much detail for you.

“Surprised you’re not in there with him.” You snipped back.

“Is it a street race?” Jason asked.

That made you look at him, curious.

“How’d you know?” You asked, eyeing him.

“You’re dressed like it. And Roy told me you sneak out to them a lot.”

“S’not sneaking out…I’m not exactly keeping it a secret…” That was half a lie, you never brought it up and would definitely try to hide it if you could but Roy just knows.

“You didn’t hear this from me. But, south Blüdhaven has some pretty good races. And the pigs don’t care enough to pull you over there.” His advice seemed so random you had to pause and process the information he just spewed out of his mouth. “You‘ll probably have to watch for that Nightwing dickhead though. He’s got a real thing for setting ‘troubled teens’ on the right path.” Jason’s mouth quirked slightly when he said this. Almost in something akin to…fondness?

“Ok…” Matty texted you saying they were there and to “hurry your ass up.” You sighed and stood up, walking out of the door.

‘That was strange…an interaction with Jason that wasn’t outwardly hostile.’

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

A week or so later you were sitting on the couch again. Roy was gunna be gone for a week or so, “doing something important,” he’d said.

The handle to the door jiggled and you raised your eyebrows at it. You heard the very recognizable sound of a key unlocking the door and waited for Roy to walk in.

To your utmost surprise and dismay, Jason walked through the door. Alone.

“Get a jacket on, we’re going out.” Was all he said.

“What, he’s just giving you a key now—?” You started, angry at Roy for giving some guy a key to where you live.

“Get a jacket on, we’re going out.” He stated again. His voice was firmer this time, irritation singeing the edges.

You paused, contemplating this. You were bored out of your mind. You sighed and stood up, grabbing a jacket and walking out the door with Jason, who locked the door. With his own key.

You looked around the parking garage.

“Where’s your car?” You asked, looking around at the selection of cars.

“I don’t have a car.” Jason stated plainly as he walked away from you.

“Oh, what? So we’re just gunna call a cab?” You sighed, annoyed.

“Nope.” You failed to hide your excitement when Jason walked up to a motorcycle.

“You—you own a bike!?” You exclaimed. He nodded.

“Wear this.” He tossed you a helmet. It collided with your chest with a thunk. You caught it then spun it around, examining it. The helmet was black,—at least you think it was…at one point— coupled with numerous scratches and several stickers that had scuff marks to match.

You pulled the helmet onto your head and clicked the chin strap together.

“How’s it look?” You asked rhetorically. Jason knocked you on the head.

“Too loose. Here.” He reached towards the chin strap but you shoved him away.

“I can do it myself, dumbass.” You grumbled, fumbling with the strap to tighten it.

“Well I’m sorry for trying to keep your head from splattering all over the pavement.” He quipped sarcastically. “Roy wouldn’t like that very much.”

You scoffed.

“And you would?” You pressed him. Half joking, but also not surprised if he said yes.

Jason rolled his eyes.

“You remind me of my brother.”

At this you were at a loss. You didn’t know whether that was good or bad and you weren’t about to ask. You just kept your voice and face neutral. Not that it would’ve mattered; he couldn’t see through the helmet visor.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

The night was filled with high speed driving and greasy diner food. You learned that Jason wasn’t such a bad guy. He even payed for your meal. When he took you home it was probably 1:00 am.

“Get good sleep tonight.” Jason was leaning on his bike with his hands in his pockets.

“That a threat?” You teased, tossing him the helmet.

“It can be if you don’t listen.” He responded, smiling slightly.

“Yeah ok. Goodnight, fuckface.” You said with no real malice in your voice.

“Night, asshole.” He responded with a tone equal to yours. “Yell if you’re getting murdered.” He added

“Mhmm.” You hummed, already walking up the stairs.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Bonus:

When Roy came home he wasn’t expecting much. Maybe a few dirty dishes, some clothes laying around. He knew you could take care of yourself and therefore didn’t need to have someone checking in on you. But that didn’t stop him for asking Jason to pop in every couple of days. Mainly to try and get his brother and partner to at least tolerate each other.

So when he heard two different voices shouting angrily from inside the apartment his mind jumped to the worst. He unlocked the door and mentally braced himself as he pushed it open.

“—OH YOU DUMB BITCH! LOOK AT THE EXIT! RUN AWAY!”

Roy was met with you and Jason sprawled out on the couch, watching a horror movie, shoving your faces with snacks, and yelling at the protagonist. It was an unexpected but not unwelcome sight.

“I’m just saying I would totally survive! Don’t you think I could survive?” You asked Jason.

“Oh you could totally survive! He’s slow as hell!” Jason responded enthusiastically while shoveling popcorn into his mouth.

You two hadn’t so much as glanced at Roy and he cleared his throat to get your attention.

“Oh hey, Roy.” You greeted, eyes still glued to the tv.

“Hey, babe.” Jason acknowledged.

Roy just sighed, smiling despite his annoyance.

“I’m gunna go unpack.” He said, kissing Jason’s head as he passed by.

“We were thinking Chinese for dinner!” Jason called.

“‘We’ who the fuck is ‘we’? I wanted Vietnamese!” You argued.

“Shut up. I’m paying, I get to choose.” Jason responded, shoving you off the couch with his foot.

Roy just rolled his eyes at the banter and headed towards his room.

#fanfic #fanfic writing #male reader #dc fanfic #jason todd #jason todd x male reader #jason todd x roy harper #jayroy #JayRoy x male reader #Jason Todd x teen reader #Roy Harper x brother reader #Roy Harper x male reader #brother reader #x brother reader #dc x male teen reader #dc x teen reader #dc x reader #Jason Todd x male teen reader #roy harper #roy Harper x male teen reader

[goldengrecha]

Today I'm thinking about manga versions of Maxie and Archie, because it's something... I even dont have words for it. Like. Holy fucking shit.

In the beginning, of course, they're confront each other - that's the classic, they're rivals after all, standing for different things and all that things. They're different. They're opposites. They're still strongly exist in each other lives, because of their conflict.

But then

This happens. And this IS beginning of the end, because of course they're working together - and at the moment it looks like it is only for benefits for their goals, nothing else. They will destroy each other when they will get to finish.

They're fucking irritating(/pos), it almost feels like they're drawn to each other, in any scenario, their destiny is to meet, to exist in each other lives. None of them exist alone (and when one of them do exist alone, it means that something went terribly wrong).

AND THEN THINGS JUST GO EVEN WORSE (/pos)

This panel. I don't know where to start.

Do I need start with that they're realizing they work together perfectly? Do I start with that this making them thinking they needed to work together from the beginning? Do I start with that two men, who, up until this point, was fighting with each other and conflicting, hating each other, founded in each other the best partner they ever could have? Do I start with that they're probably the best persons in each other lives?

It is already very emotional (at least for me), but with how story goes on, they're connecting more and more, becoming even more emotionally fucked up.

AND THEN THERE IS EMERALD ARC???? CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT EMERALD ARC???????

There is so much going on in emerald arc I barely can find words for describing my emotions.

This is the fucking tragedy. Because, what do you mean, they're put in situation where is only one of them can leave alive for some more time? (Remember how I said that if only ONE if them exist it means that some shit is going to happen something going to go really terrible. It either them both exist or them both don't).

What do you mean Archie is literally killed Maxie, just for chance of living a little longer?

And this is tragedy, because Archie, in the end, loses again. And now, not only he does lose in literal sense - he didn't achieve his goal, after all. He loses everything he had - his team, his life, and most importantly, he loses his only friend. He is all alone now.

Ah yeah can we talk about

This?

It's just one phrase. It has so much in it.

Not only he calls Maxie friend, not only he confess that Maxie probably the only one person which Archie was thinking as a friend, but also like.

Consider this: this isn't oras archie yet. This version of archie is cold, closed and gloomy, genuinely intimidating person. He doesn't care about his team members, it is kind of okay for him to use them as tools (which, ironically, shows even in this interaction with Maxie: after all, Archie still killed him for a chance of living a bit longer. And Archie acknowledging that he betrayed Maxie. He betrayed his only one friend). He is a cold person, but it almost seems like Maxie managed to warm him up a bit, just a little bit. This is actually incredible and, again, endlessly emotional, and I still can't stress this enough. Holy fucking shit.

Just imagine Archie at this point. Imagine, because, the best person in his life always was his rival. His rival, and maybe, even friend.

And I told about this before, but can we talk about that in distorted world they became one? It's just so symbolic. Like, Archie and Maxie from beginning were opposites, they was supporting opposite things, their goals was completely opposite. But they can't choose only one of this, because everything around them is a combination of different, sometimes opposite things. Like even the land and water in Hoenn! Exactly this combination of land and water create Hoenn as we know it, and how they know it. And they, people, who choosed only one of these things, in the end, became the one themselves - isn't this ironic? Isn't this funny? Isn't it symbolic in some way? (I also fucking love how this fusion explain in some way why when oras hits, Maxie is more like original Archie, and Archie more like original Maxie. They had explored each other minds I'm sure of it)

And finally, ORAS, part that I love the most.

Not only they both was given chance of living again, but this is literally their peak. They're working together again - and by that I mean they're working perfectly together.

They even acknowledge it themselves:

And this is so good in contrast with Ruby and Sapphire arc - back then, they too, realized and started to think they're work perfectly together, but it still was mixed with some evil fucked up shit, but here? They're working together because they (ironically), have the same goal. And they're helping each other.

They're working together perfectly, this is so good for them. And no evil bullshit this time! It's actually best versions of them in some way - because they're working together, for sake both of humanity and pokemon. They working towards happiness and safety for everyone, not choosing and prioritizing only one of them.

And they're talking to each other as if they was old friends, partners, every one of their interactions shines with this somewhat warm feeling. This is so good for them. I would even dare to say that ORAS part was the happiest moments in their lives.

And.. Then end of ORAS hits.

And, again, as classic already, it's a small panel, but how much here is.

First of all, can I point that Archie died two times, and both times he was thinking of Maxie in some way?

And both times is some kind of emotional moment for Archie: first time, he calls Maxie friend (he doesn't call him by name, but. He obviously talking about him COME ON), and second time he ask Maxie, if he would want to work together again, if they will have chance to do so. I just love seeing this progression, how Maxie became more and more dear person for Archie as time goes on, how he became more attached to him. And Maxie does too!

It is such an incredible moment filled with so much emotions, with so much sense. I love how Archie doesn't even say his question fully, but Maxie still understands him. Of course he does, because, I'm sure, even if Archie didn't ask this, Maxie still would think of it. I'm sure if none of them said this, they still would understand this wish to work together again that they both have. At this point, they are incredibly connected together, and they have only each other.

I also love this moment, because when Archie died first time, he was told that, if he will continue like this, he will end up all alone. And Archie agrees to that: he answer in the way that he is already accepted that he is alone now, and he doesn't even have Maxie by his side (I still can't get over that he really highlighted him in this speech holy fucking shit). BUT then, when he appears next time, he appears as ORAS self, and his ORAS self is very different from what he was, not only as a person, but his motivation is different, too.

He changed in some way. And he ISN'T alone, because now, Maxie is by his side again. And I can't stop thinking about how happy it probably made Archie.

And even dying, he is calm, because he isn't alone. He have Maxie by his side. His only friend.

#pokemon #pokemon special #hardenshipping #i can't stress them enough #somebody tell Archie you dont call people you killed your friends #i cant stop think about their cold and warmth symbolism #and that Maxie probably really warmed Archie up in some way #they're both fucking IDIOTS #They need to kiss #they make me feel emotions #im traumatized by them /pos #*screams into the void* #they invented love they invented fucked up relarionships they invented true friendship they invented «holy fuck whats wrong with you both» #dont seperate them they will bite #they have so little moments but all of them hit you with fucking car #and then process to make bloody mess from your brain #sorry for my bad english btw i cant fucking write words

[tsukishumai]

Love Galore

pairing: kuroo tetsuro x f!reader x bokuto koutsro

chapter summary: an introspective view of the story's events from the beginning — through the eyes of Akaashi Keiji

wc: 19.2k+ [jfc i really am so sorry]

a/n: thank you to those that have stuck by me and this story, despite my hiatus. i truly appreciate every single person that's ever read a single word of LG, or left lovely messages/comments, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much. i worked on this chapter, little by little every day, and i promise i never stopped thinking about you guys. i kept thinking it was done, but apparently i had a lot to say haha. this still isn't the end, but please enjoy the chapter, i've worked really hard on it and i hope you like it :) your love and support mean the world to me, xoxo

Masterlist

chapter 14 ✧ souffle pancakes

Akaashi doesn’t say much, but he sees it all. 

It was a habit that he’s had for as long as he could remember, practically born with. Practically second nature, it seems, for him to keep a keen and sharp eye on his surroundings, making mental notes until it’s all piled up and cluttered into his brain. He’s been called many things in his short life. Observant. Perspective. Attentive. Psychic. Genius. Creepy. 

Akaashi prefers to just be called Keiji. 

Most of the time, he thinks it’s a blessing.  

When he was younger, he’d impress all the old ladies in his neighborhood with his mindless comments.

Have you lost weight?

That’s a new jacket isn’t it, oba-san?

Oh, that must be a different perfume you’re wearing today.

Comments that sounded adorable coming from a child, when all the others in his age range could barely notice if they were even wearing matching shoes. 

Sometimes, he’s thankful. It was what got him so far in the sport he loved, after all. His ability to see things others usually just brush to the side — how an opponent grits his teeth and flexes his jaw right before he jumps up for the spike, or the directions their eyes tend to flicker to right before they pass the ball. How the twitch of their lip meant anger and annoyance, or the restless running around the court showing impatience. 

Akaashi sees it all – each bit of information sorted into the compartments in his mind, saving it for when he needs to make his move. This wasn’t something inherent – it was a skill he only learned with time, through trials and errors until his mind became a well-oiled machine. Eventually, it’d become difficult for anyone to escape the sharpness of Akaashi’s eyes, and it’s a skill he’s always used to his own benefit. 

If that player’s angry, it will be easy to bait him. If he’s impatient, then it’s just a matter of time before he makes a mistake. And Akaashi will be right there waiting. 

It was easily applicable outside of the court as well.

In the hallways of school, he’d learned to ignore the giggles and whispers in his wake. Making friends was simple, almost effortless. An off-handed comment about someone’s new haircut, bringing his classmates snacks and drinks as if he had just accidentally bought too much at the convenience store – not a single person thinking twice at the fact that he’d miraculously gotten all their favorites. 

Akaashi was the guy that would notice if you were wearing different nail polish, or if the charms on your backpack were different, would note if you’ve started a new sport or were talking about that new drama just a little bit more often – and he’d say a something that could be compliment, with only a few words at best, but it was enough for you to note that he was paying attention. 

In his second year of junior high, he’d even become quite the hot topic among the girls in his class, because somehow he could always tell who had a crush on who. They’d flock around his desk like vultures, picking at whatever bits and scraps they could get from his carcass until he had no choice but to throw them a bone. 

If you get this bread for Yagi-kun, he’ll really like it. 

Arakawa-san told me he likes girls with short hair. 

Toku-san studies in the library on Wednesdays, you should bring him a drink.

The boys would try to act like they’re not interested in the commotion that always seemed to surround Akaashi. Gossip? That’s for the girls – not something for boys to partake in. But it was only a matter of time before they’d come running to Akaashi for a “psychic reading”, never wanting to admit that all they really wanted was a bit of guidance. 

They’d come running back to him, tittering and snickering whenever his advice would work. Suddenly, he was seen as a genius, a guru – as much as any preteen boy could actually be.

It was easy, really – a person’s body language can often tell you much more than words could ever manage to say, and Akaashi had always been an avid reader. He’d try to tell them as much, try to teach his friends what to look for and where, but alas the ability had still been dubbed a ‘gift’.

But sometimes, it can be a curse. 

For a long while, there were only two kinds of people in Akaashi’s life: those that wanted to use him for his talents, and those that seemed to resent him for it. 

It was actually comical how fast it is for some to turn their backs. Flipping around on him like a switch, taking all the brightness with them and leaving Akaashi alone in the dark. 

He had learned – the hard way – that most people actually quite hated the notion of being perceived. It strikes them with a sense of anxiety that was unfamiliar – not exactly fear, but something akin to uneasiness. The constant feeling of eyes on your back was enough to drive anyone crazy, even more so when you’re meant to be somewhere safe. 

It’s not as if Akaashi was doing it on purpose. Sometimes, he wasn’t even aware he was doing anything at all. He wasn’t watching anyone specifically, but was it his fault if certain things caught his attention? Was it wrong for him to be observant of his surroundings? His classmates were part of his environment, it was only natural for them to be part of his observations as well. It was nothing personal, it was just a habit.

It was difficult to explain as such when a boy from his class called him a stalker for knowing he was in the soccer club, because how else could Akaashi have known? He hardly knew Akaashi. Even though Akaashi pointed out the grass stains on his socks and the pair of cleats peeking out of his bag, the boy still threatened Akaashi to stay far away. 

It was even harder for him to calm the angry girl from two classes over – the one that happened to always eat at the lunch table next to his in the cafeteria. He froze when she stormed up to him, tossing a baby blue hair clip on his table. Steam was billowing out from her eyes, saying she’d only ever spoken a grand total of six words to him, so how the hell does he know her favorite color? Never mind the fact that her earrings, her phone case, her jacket, her thermos, and her bento are all that same color. It was an educated guess, one that was clearly correct if her angry reaction was enough to go by. 

It was frustrating, honestly. Did she even know how pathetic his own classmate looked, sniffing around Akaashi and asking how he should approach the cute girl from class 2-C? Was it really wrong for Akaashi to suggest getting her a hair clip in the same color? What difference did it make whether he figured out random stuff about her or not? 

But the scowl she threw in his direction had almost successfully masked the panic that swept through her eyes. But Akaashi had seen it. 

She was afraid. Of him.

She had called him names then, names he had heard before. Weirdo. Stalker. Creep. Names that never bothered him in the past, but coupled with the look of fright on this girl's face – whose favorite color he knew, but name remained foreign – all of it sounded much harsher than he ever remembered. Especially when she dumped the rest of her milk on the top of his head. 

After that incident, there was a sort of shift in public opinion on Akaashi. The whispers that followed him down the hall no longer mingled with soft giggles and smiles. They were whispers behind narrowed eyes and scowling faces, disapproving frowns upon any lips that would say his name.

Some friends stood by his side, half-heartedly defending him in a way that told him they didn’t actually care – they just wanted to stay on his good side. Nosy busybodies that only shielded him from the wary stares so they could keep asking him for his advice on whether he thought Dairiki-kun like girls with bangs or without.

It was one of the few times Akaashi had really, truly felt pathetic. His life was sitting in the sweaty palms of his peers, and a single wrong move will have him crushed by their grubby little fingers. It was infuriating, suffocating – having to think twice, thrice, four times before Akaashi could even say a single word. 

But they had already decided on the box they would put Akaashi in, and he could do nothing more than sit still. Sit still and ignore the sneers and scowls from people that he used to call friends. Stay quiet when the boys of his class would shove him around the halls calling him freak. Look the other way when he’d come back to his desk and his things were destroyed. Ignore the pang in his chest when he ate his lunches alone in the library. 

At the turn of his adolescence – his first year of high school – Akaashi decided that things needed to change. 

Fukurodani Academy was a different setting – different classes, different halls, different people.

He would be a different Akaashi Keiji. No longer putting himself out there, or offering his observations to anyone who would listen. He would just keep to himself, and not let anyone close enough to contain him again.

Then he met Bokuto Kotaro. 

The boy was simplistic in nature. Kind and bright, with a horde of people that always followed him around wherever he went. Dozens of eyes constantly tracked his every move without fail, and Bokuto happened to be the type of person that thrived in such an environment. Though, despite being interested in the same sport, Akaashi never felt the need to become a part of his entourage. He was exactly the kind of guy Akaashi wanted – needed –  to avoid. 

But some things are simply not up to him. Each morning, he managed to mask the slight surprise on his face each time he walked into the volleyball team’s gym, and found that Bokuto was already there. And had probably been there for who knows how long. When Akaashi joined this team, he fully expected to always be the first to show up, and last to leave the gym each day, just as it was at his previous school. 

Yet, there Bokuto was, every morning without fail, nothing but his grunts and the echoes of the ball spiking on the ground filling the gym. Every morning, he’d greet Akaashi with too much energy, the corners of his lips never dropping despite the fact that Akaashi never responded with anything other than a silent nod. 

For a little while, that was all they had. A silent agreement to work together on the sport they loved, to be a team on the court, and strictly teammates off of it. Nothing more, nothing less. Bokuto continued being his charming self, scoring victories and basking in adoration as he was wont to do. Akaashi stood content to the side, satisfied with the joy of knowing his serves were in the capable hands of such an ace. 

Akaashi should have known that it was only a matter of time until Bokuto would flip everything around. 

They had been alone in the gym for at least an hour at that time, while the rest of Fukurodani Volleyball Club had gone home at an actual reasonable hour. The sun was already slipping past the horizon, taking with it the last tendrils of the day’s light. Bokuto had begged Akaashi to stay a little longer and help with his spikes, as usual. And Akaashi was quick to agree, as usual. 

What was unusual was the way Bokuto kept glancing at Akaashi from the corner of his eye, and Akaashi wanted to laugh at Bokuto’s pathetic excuse of being discreet.

“What is it?” Akaashi asked, uncharacteristically breaking the silence. 

Bokuto jumped, startled that Akaashi noticed him watching. It took a second for Bokuto to gather himself, absentmindedly bouncing the volleyball on the gleaming gym floor, face scrunched in a way that Akaashi had only seen while Bokuto was on the court.

“I wanted to ask you something,” Bokuto opened with those words, bouncing the ball one last time before catching it tightly in his hands. Akaashi’s silence was the only indicator of an agreement, and Bokuto took this as his cue to continue. 

“Why do you hold back?” 

There were many things Akaashi thought Bokuto might have asked. This one wasn’t even really on the list. Akaashi had forgotten what it felt like to be caught so off guard, unable to do anything but stand stupidly as his mind buffered. Bokuto’s pupils moved imperceptibly quickly, raking themselves all over Akaashi. 

“I’m not sure what you mean,” Akaashi replied carefully, his shoulders rigid, nervously clasping his hands in front of him.

Bokuto frowned a little deeper, resting the volleyball now between his arm and his hip. “You don’t have to lie, Akaashi. I can tell you’re not… I see how you watch everything, but you always catch yourself before doing anything. It’s like you’re scared or… or – I don’t know! But you are, you’re holding back! I can just tell.”

It took all of Akaashi’s willpower not to let his jaw hang loose, only allowing himself to blink slowly. He dug through his mind, searching through every crevice for any memory of someone being able to read him like this. He went out of his way to be invisible, yet the overly cheerful, happy go lucky, sunshine ace of the volleyball team had somehow managed to still see right through him. 

“So why?” Bokuto prodded again, and his tone could easily be confused as haughty, but Akaashi knew better. Akaashi continues to study Bokuto, the poor boy fidgeting under Akaashi’s frigid stare. But he doesn’t move, doesn’t back away. His weight shifted from one foot to the other, but he still waited for an answer

“It’s a long story,” Akaashi said quietly, turning around to walk towards the volleyball cart. 

He hoped that would be the end of it, that Bokuto would take the hint and leave him alone. But before he could take more than three steps toward the cart, it clattered loudly and rolled away with the momentum of the volleyball that just landed into it from across the gym. 

Akaashi turns back to Bokuto, a single eyebrow raised incredulously at Bokuto’s now empty hands. A corner of Bokuto’s mouth lifts devilishly, and he offers Akaashi nothing but a shrug of his shoulders.

“I’ve got a bit of time,” Bokuto rests his hands on his hips, shifting all his weight onto one leg. Akaashi wanted to laugh, wanted to cry, and wanted to ask Bokuto why he even cared. He was happy with how things were right now, and there was no need for him to do anything drastic. 

Even as the thought passed through his mind, Akaashi could feel no truth behind it. And one look at Bokuto told him that he was not winning this round. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, and heaved out a sigh.

“If I don’t hold myself back, then people tend to get intimidated,” Akaashi offered, and that was as much as he was willing to expand on at this moment. “And when people are scared of you… that’s when you find out how nasty they can actually be.” 

“So what? You’re scared?” Bokuto asked, and Akaashi scoffed because of course he wouldn’t understand. Everyone loved Bokuto, and even those that didn’t still held some sort of respect for him. He was the ace of the volleyball team, and he was the school’s heartthrob. What the hell would he know about being shunned and isolated?

Akaashi opened his mouth to say something snarky, the words burning up his throat and on to the tip of his tongue. Except when his lips parted, it wasn’t his voice that came out.

“If you hold yourself back because of random, faceless people, then aren’t you letting them win?” Bokuto interrupted Akaashi before he could speak, as if he knew that if he let the setter say whatever he was about to say, then the conversation would take a dive into the worst. “I hate losing, Akaashi.”

“What does me losing have anything to do with you?” Akaashi asked.

“Because we’re partners now. I got your back, and if you lose, I lose,” Bokuto smiled this time, and Akaashi’s chest felt a little bit lighter, “Like I said, I hate losing. So don’t make me into a loser, okay? Or it’s gonna be a problem.”

Bokuto brushes past Akaashi as he finishes speaking, hands resting on the back of his head as he walks the distance across the gym and to the volleyball cart. Akaashi’s eyes followed him in awe, a sudden fluttering in his heart and stomach as the ace digs out a new volleyball and bounces it twice onto the hardwood floors.

“We’ve only done eighty serves,” Bokuto changes the topic seamlessly, continuing on as if he hadn’t rendered Akaashi speechless, “We gotta do at least twenty more before Yamiji-san comes back to kick us out.” 

Akaashi felt his feet move, his arms positioning themselves to receive, his body running around the gym until sweat dripped on the floor all around him. But his thoughts were elsewhere, plagued with memories of a past that had apparently silenced him into a pathetic existence. He’d thought this path would be better, make him feel like he belonged.

Maybe for a while, he convinced himself that it did, satisfied with existing as a shadow on the wall. He hadn’t anticipated Fukurodani's golden-eyed Adonis to shatter the illusion with so much ease, Akaashi wonders how he ever fooled himself into believing it in the first place. 

They didn’t say a single word to each other for the rest of their practice. Or on the walk home. Or at morning practice the next day. Bokuto didn’t speak to Akaashi until the middle of their afternoon practice, when Akaashi had received every single one of Konoha’s spikes and gave Bokuto elegant, risky serves that had everyone on the other side of the net scrambling on their feet. 

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Bokuto exclaimed while pumping his fist, giving Akaashi a pat on the back that made the setter jerk forward two steps, “Keep that up, Akaashi!”

Akaashi rubbed the back of his neck, tilting his head slightly to the side. That’s when he noticed the thumbs up Bokuto had thrown you from across the court, and the relieved smile you returned as you flipped the numbers on the scoreboard. You and Bokuto held each other’s gazes for a moment longer, and Akaashi felt like he’d eavesdropped on an entire conversation. 

You shivered slightly when Bokuto broke away, as if Akaashi’s icy stare washed over your entire body. Then you turned your head unnaturally quick and met Akaashi’s stare dead on, making him jolt. You offered him a small wave and half a grin, but before he could respond, Bokuto was dragging him back into the game. 

After practice, Akaashi found Bokuto waiting for him by the gates of the school. He flew into an immediate tirade about the bad grade he got on his exam, and how the cafeteria ran out of katsu before he could get there. You showed up in the middle of Bokuro’s story, and the three of you started walking in sync towards the direction of Akaashi’s house, your voice mingling with Bokuto’s as you offered your own tidbits of the day. Akaashi didn’t question how you both knew where he lived, or why he was suddenly flanked by the two chattiest students in Fukurodani. But if Akaashi had known that was how it would all begin, then he might have cherished that moment a little bit more. 

He never really spoke to you during his initial months in the club, which isn’t saying much as he didn’t speak to anyone. You were nice enough – always asked him how he was doing, berating the older ones whenever they’d give him a hard time, giving him reassuring smiles whenever he got scolded for messing up. The perfect example of a manager; your only fault being the nonsensical hearts in your eyes whenever they happened to land on Bokuto. 

You tried to hide it desperately, but there was no hiding the affection in your smiles whenever they were directed toward Bokuto. It was obvious, painfully so, and it bewildered Akaashi that Bokuto still had not noticed. He can at least assume Yukie and Kaori knew, if the worried glances they threw at each other behind your back were of any indication. But if they or anyone else on the team were aware of your feelings, they respected your efforts enough to keep their thoughts to themselves. 

He couldn’t blame you, not in the slightest. Not when Akaashi’s own heart skipped a beat or two during the night of that initial confrontation, and suddenly he himself was enamored by the ace – wanted to give him the best serves, set up the best plays, win him all the games. When Bokuto was on the court, then it was natural law of the universe for Akaashi to use every skill in his arsenal to make sure he shines. Akaashi did not choose for it to be this way, it simply is.

Perhaps that was how it was for you as well, Akaashi thought. Sometimes, the most painful part about love is having no choice, the complete loss of control. Akaashi could see it; the groan after each stolen glance, shaking him off when his hug made your face too hot,  how you would slap your cheeks whenever you caught yourself staring, like a desperate attempt to break yourself out of some wretched spell.

If Akaashi was being honest, he hated seeing you that way. It didn’t take long for you to become someone precious to him, maybe even quicker than it took for Bokuto. Bokuto infuriated Akaashi as easily as he amazed him, each day a toss up on whether he admired him or wanted to strangle him.

But you brought Akaashi comfort, and a sense of understanding he’d never experienced from a friend. Sure, technically it was your job to assist the team, but he could tell that everything you did truly came from your heart. You were kind and selfless, the type of person that would give someone the very shirt off your back but still spit venom at anyone that spoke ill of your friends. 

To have you in his corner, Akaashi couldn’t even begin to explain how much it saved him. He’d been drowning in the middle of an ocean, nearly overpowered by turbulent waves when Bokuto had given him a boat, and you’d given him an oar. As long as he remained with the two of you, then Akaashi thought he could get himself through it all. 

So whenever he would watch you watch Bokuto flex his muscles to the girls cheering in the stands during a game, watch you gripping your clipboard so hard your knuckles turned white, he may feel... a little bit more than annoyed. And whenever Bokuto would then openly flirt with some of those girls after the game, Akaashi could admit that he might even feel a little bit upset.

Because how could he not see the way you look at him, how you smile when he says your name, how you trail after him like a lovesick puppy? At this point, Akaashi’s been friends with the two of you for months, won and lost countless games, gone to training camps, spent more time with each other than with your own families. And the entire time, Akaashi had to work very hard to act like he didn’t notice your feelings. How could Bokuto still be so ignorant? 

It really bothered him a lot more than he cared to admit, and it surprised him. Akaashi never expected to care about you the way he does, but there it was. Maybe it was this comfortable closeness between you that propelled Akaashi to act so boldly, in a way he couldn’t bring himself to in a long time. 

At the end of one of these unsavory games, while Bokuto busied himself with trying to get the number of a cheerleader in the stand, Akaashi scanned the court for a second, stopping only when his eyes landed on you. You were comparing your notes with the coach, and Akaashi waited until you finished speaking and Yamiji-san stalked off to scold someone else before he approached. 

“Keiji! There you are, I wanted to talk to about your receives in the first set, you –”

“Are you ever going to tell him?” Akaashi asked, not even registering what you were saying. You might have been irritated at his interruption if you hadn’t been confused by the seemingly random question he just threw at your face.

“What? Tell who what?” 

“Bokuto,” Akaashi crossed his arms and straightened his back, “Are you ever going to tell him how you feel?”

You blinked at him once, the only indication that you heard what Akaashi said. He stood facing you, and the seconds seemed to stretch as you did nothing but stare back. The cacophony of sounds that usually bounced along the walls of the gym suddenly sounded muffled and dull. Your lips twitched slightly before they spread into a rehearsed grin, your face slipping easily into a mask of casual indifference.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Keiji,” you answered him softly, shaking your head. 

“Come on, Y/N,” Akaashi groaned, “You know exactly –”

“No, I really don’t,” you said almost pleadingly, your eyes darting around the gym, a mixture of sadness and relief in them when you see Bokuto still showing off to the girls that descended from the bleachers. You look back at Akaashi, brows furrowed as you said, “I don’t know what would make you even think that. Bokuto’s my best friend – that’s it. God, Akaashi, you should really be careful about what you say. If someone heard you, they might have gotten the wrong idea.”

You shot him another hard look – almost a glare, and one that he could read very well, that told him you knew he knew you were lying, that said please, just play along – before you made an excuse of gathering up all the other players for the bus back to school. 

Akaashi’s feet felt stuck to the ground, an achingly familiar helplessness sluicing through him as you walked away. He couldn’t even bring himself to move until Bokuto threw an arm around his shoulder to drag him out, finally done with his flirting and ready to go home. 

You were already seated on the bus when Bokuto and Akaashi finally deigned to board. The seat beside you was occupied by a chattering Yukie, who refused to move despite Bokuto’s complaints of always being the one that sits next to you. You laughed sheepishly and yelled claims of ‘manager bonding’ and doing everything you could to avoid meeting Akaashi’s eye. 

That was the tone of your relationship for the next few weeks. An awkward tension that no one else seemed to notice but you and him. You didn’t treat him any differently – you still greeted him with a smile, walked home together everyday, still messed with him during practice. You still asked him about his day, and told him about yours and Akaashi almost could have convinced himself that nothing was wrong. 

But everything you did started to feel like an act. Disingenuous, like a robot following a set program. You stopped sitting next to Bokuto at lunch, started walking to classes with your other friends instead. Your eyes started flicking to Akaashi whenever you felt you laughed too loudly at Bokuto’s jokes, and you latched yourself to the other players, throwing everyone off kilter. 

You were going out of your way to prove a point that only Akaashi could understand, and even when Bokuto himself had pointed out your strange behavior, you simply brushed him off. There was a sense of insecurity that Akaashi knew he instilled in your actions, and it brought a twinge of regret that he never wanted to feel when it came to you. 

Akaashi had been pouring over how to remedy the situation for days when an olive branch came in the form of Bokuto’s new girlfriend. 

She was a girl from another school, and he met her after one of their games. She came over to their side of the court and congratulated Bokuto for thoroughly defeating her team. She was very pretty and he liked her smile, so Bokuto had asked her out, and she was very quick to say yes. She was waiting for him one day after practicing, standing patiently at the entrance gates with a bag of homemade cookies in her hand. 

Bokuto was so excited as he ran out of the gym to meet her, sparing one minute to ask Akaashi to let you know where he’d gone. Akaashi supposed it was a little comforting to know that Bokuto genuinely cared about you, even if it was encased with his own selfishness. 

Akaashi waited until the rest of the volleyball club had emptied the gym before he made his way into the equipment room. He could hear your sniffling before he even opened the door, his heart slowly crumbling when he walked in on you crouched behind the volleyball cart. 

You sat on the floor, hugging your knees to your chest. Your forehead rested against your knees, and your quiet sobs filled the tiny room. You didn’t bother to look up as Akaashi approached, and fought his own tears as your shoulders shook with every breath. 

He kneeled in front of you quietly, silently debating with himself before he placed a tender hand on your shoulder. You continued to cry, taking uneven, shaky breaths. You didn’t move from your position, and Akaashi briefly wondered if you’d even registered his presence. 

“Did he leave?” You asked suddenly, voice thick and hoarse.

“Yes,” Akaashi answered. 

Slowly, you lifted your head to face him. Your eyes were puffed and swollen, eyes rimmed with red and cheeks stained with tears. Snot dribbled down your nose disgracefully, and there was a sorry attempt on your part to wipe away the evidence of your heartbreak. The sleeves you’d worn your heart on were now soaked with salty tears, and you couldn’t control the tremble of your lips. 

Akaashi didn’t know what else to do other than wrap his arms around you. The position was awkward and he’s pretty sure he’d actually never hugged you before. He felt you stiffen for a second, almost making him pull back. But then you buried your face into the crook of his neck and cried. Akaashi could feel his shirt begin to soak, but he pulled you tighter against him. 

He had no idea how long he held you for, but he stayed there in that smelly old equipment room and he held you until his knees ached and you had no more tears left to give. 

Neither of you spoke once you were done, giving him a sad smile as you pulled away. He didn’t offer one back, but he helped you up to your feet and kept an arm around your shoulder as you both walked out silently. Akaashi knew there was nothing he could say to soothe the pain, and you didn’t look like you wanted to say a single word about it anyway. 

He simply walked home with you as usual, taking the long way around to ensure you both end up walking by your favorite takoyaki stand. He spent the money he was saving in his wallet for a rainy day, and bought you all the food you could eat. He had even gotten your favorite popsicle from the convenience store by your house, and though you still remained silent, he was happy to see you eat everything he gave you. 

By the time Akaashi dropped you off at your front door, the tears were long gone and the moon was high in the sky. You turned to Akaashi, nervously fiddling with your fingers as you tried to find the words. Akaashi smiled to himself, and reached out to pat his hand lightly on the top of your head.

“It’ll be okay,” he said, hoping you’d believe him. The lonely smile you gave him tells him you don’t, but you hug each other one last time anyway before saying your goodbyes.

Akaashi remembered the first time you and Bokuto successfully broke through his brick walls. Broke might have been too gentle of a word for it though – smashed through might be better. It was at the start of his second season with Fukurodani, and he was still riding the high of an amazing first year. He was ready for an even better year, ready to try out his new skills at the first practice match Yamiji-san had arranged with a school the team had never played with before. 

Then a familiar voice called his name from the other side of the court. A few familiar faces from a life he was desperate to forget peered at him through the net, chuckling and laughing and asking him where the hell he’s been for the past year? Akaashi froze – completely and pathetically froze. It was only after six missed serves and accidentally smacking Bokuto in the back of the head with a ball did Yamiji-san finally tire of his antics and benched him for the rest of the game. 

Akaashi ran to the locker rooms as soon as practice was over. He didn’t acknowledge his old classmates, didn’t even pretend to be polite or engage in empty pleasantries. Instead, he hid in one of the shower stalls until the rest of the team left and he was absolutely sure there would be no one left to see him leave. 

But when he exited the stall, there you were. Standing next to Bokuto in a locker room he was absolutely sure you weren’t allowed to be in, with your hands on your hip and brows etched in concern. The two of you cornered him, and barricaded him until he fessed up about what the hell just happened on that court. Akaashi was a resilient man, but even he could do nothing against you two. 

So he told you everything – from his ‘guru’ days to the milk dumping incident to the isolation and bullying – everything. He didn’t stop speaking for what felt like hours, but neither you nor Bokuto interrupted him once, allowing him to regurgitate everything he’d been holding in for years. 

When he was done, he wasn’t sure what he expected. Pity, or sympathy or something like that. But, no. Instead, when he looked at the faces of his two best friends, all he saw was anger. Clenched fists, tight jaws, fire burning in eyes – anger. And it made him happy. Whatever happened in his past didn’t matter, because here, he had two people who were willing to get angry on his behalf. 

He thought he couldn’t get any closer to you than he was at that moment. But he was wrong.

Walking away from your doorstep, Akaashi knew the bond between the two of you was solidified after this – having already seen each other at your worst, taking turns being each other’s salvation. You become more than his friend, you were his sister. Sister in pain, sister in darkness, sister in light. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for you, and you for him. 

Thinking back, the sobbing was probably a bit of an overreaction. A little dramatic considering Bokuto had broken up with that girl not even three weeks later. He was crying and moaning about it for about ten minutes until you promised to take him to his favorite yakiniku spot, and he never thought about that girl again. 

Things would go back to normal for a little while – the three of you acting as reckless teenagers do when they had free reign over the streets of Tokyo. Sitting in cafes sharing one drink for four hours, getting scolded by the coach for staying in the gym too long, laughing and arguing over the most ridiculous reasons that Bokuto turned emo. 

Until Bokuto meets his next girlfriend. Then your heart breaks into a million pieces, and Akaashi tries to hold you together. Then Bokuto breaks up with his girlfriend, and comes running back with crocodile tears in his eyes. You’d catch him again with open arms, and things are alright for a little while until the ugly cycle starts over again. 

Akaashi tried not to let himself wonder why you allowed yourself to accept this – allow Bokuto to put you through it over and over again. He told himself that he didn’t really care, it wasn’t any of his business. Whether you told Bokuto your true feelings or not was your prerogative, and Akaashi wouldn’t do anything but respect your decisions. Even if the decision seemed borderline masochistic. 

Akaashi is forced to simply brush off his irritation at his best friend, because Bokuto was so painfully unaware of what he’d been doing. And if Bokuto was too stupid to see what was right in front of his eyes, then Akaashi was not interested in being the one to enlighten him. 

Ultimately, Akaashi does what he does best – keep his mouth shut and his thoughts to himself. He would listen to every single complaint Bokuto would have about his girlfriends, but he never dared offer his own opinions. He allowed you to drag him to whatever random activity would keep your mind off your own issues, but he never outwardly acknowledged the hurt you always tried to hide. 

And as horrible it is to say, the girls never lasted very long. A month, maybe two at the most. Hardly enough time for Akaashi to memorize any names, as cruel as that sounded. Soon enough, they would complain about his training schedule, or whine about how he hangs out with his friends a bit too much, and that was all it took for Bokuto to cut it off. Bokuto’s priorities always remained the same, and that at least was something Akaashi happily gave him credit for. 

By the time college rolled around, you had even started dating. No one else had ever successfully managed to ensnare your attention for more than five minutes, but Akaashi appreciated seeing you try. Though he admits it was rather amusing to see Bokuto so fervently talk shit about any person you had even a remote interest in, and maybe a little bit more than satisfying to see Bokuto finally be the one on the other side. 

Bokuto, surprisingly, never actually brought any of his girlfriends around. He talked about them, and on occasion, he would invite them to some of his games, but that was it. It was odd, because Bokuto had always struck Akaashi as the type that wanted his partner cheering for him at every opportunity they could get, and would want to hear their voice screaming his name from the stands. But on the rare occasion he actually allowed any of them to come watch him, Bokuto was quick to usher them out of the gym before anyone could even introduce themselves.

It bewildered Akaashi to no end. Was it because he was ashamed?Akaashi’s met at least two girlfriends, and Bokuto’s gone on double dates with Konoha and Washio. Was he hiding his girlfriends from you?

Did he finally get a taste of his own medicine when he saw you kiss that guy in your psych class? Was Bokuto trying to spare you the pain? Akaashi didn’t really want to think of the implications if that statement were true. 

Well, out of sight, out of mind was a set up that worked for him very well.

And more importantly, it worked well enough for you. Worked for Bokuto as well, apparently. He didn’t want to see any of your flings, and you were better off not seeing any of his. A nauseating song and dance that only the two of you knew the steps for. Neither of you were willing to be each other's partner, satisfied to let the opportunity suspend in the air between you, yet never reaching out to take it. 

But hey, if you’re fine with it, then Akaashi could work with this. He could live with this.

That was until Hikari came along. 

Akaashi was honestly a little surprised – Hikari wasn’t typically the type of woman that Bokuto would tangle himself with. That wasn’t to say anything about her looks, or her personality – she was very much Bokuto’s type. But she had already been an essential part of at least one aspect of his life before they started dating, and it was unusual for Bokuto to allow a relationship to transpire with someone so close – the manager of his team, at that. Bokuto always dated outside the proximity of his circle; someone that went to another school, or one that he met at the gym, or sat next to him in one of his classes. 

Never anyone too close. Never anyone that would matter if he lost them. 

But apparently, Hikari was a woman on a mission. Akaashi knew it from the first time he met her, could see it in the wolfish gleam in her eyes as she watched Bokuto from across the room.

He was a little taken aback, but not all that shocked when you came home from that party, practically giving him a heart attack when you burst through the front door and stormed directly to the couch. You didn’t spare him a glance before you face planted onto the cushions, buried your face into the decorative pillows he’d spent two hours picking, and let out the most ungodly scream he’d ever heard. 

You didn’t have to tell him what happened; Akaashi could easily guess. 

“What’s wrong with you?” he still asked slowly, afraid any sudden movements might cause you to lunge. 

“I wish I knew,” your voice was muffled, not bothering to lift your head from the pillow. 

A nagging voice in his head told him he should have stayed at that party, to be your emotional support at the very least if nothing else. He mentally kicked himself, glaring at the laptop he sat in front of, and the blinking document of his unfinished part in the group project he was meant to present to his group mates in the morning. As if the assignment was responsible for his failure. 

You’d be safe if he left, he reasoned with himself. The volleyball team was full of idiots, but they were all good guys. Besides, Bokuto was there and there wasn’t a single chance in hell anything bad would happen to you while he was around. And if Bokuto was too drunk, then Kuroo at least would make sure you all got home safely.  He’d even set himself up on the dining room table so he could see you walk through the front door with his own two eyes. 

Because he had fully expected you to walk through those doors with Bokuto in tow like you’ve done dozens of times, and the fact that you arrived in the dead of night alone was enough to make Akaashi’s blood pressure rise. 

He stood from his chair and walked the few short steps to the fridge. He opened the freezer door, pushing through packets of frozen meat until he found the cream puff flavored ice cream that you had to special order online. He grabs the pint and two spoons before he makes his way to the couch. 

You didn’t move when he pushed your leg to the side, sitting on the opposite side of the sofa. You didn’t move when he nudged your calves with his knuckles and asked you to sit up before you suffocated. So he just leaned back, tossing the lid of the ice cream pint onto the coffee table before digging in. 

It’d been two bites of ice cream and one minute later when you slowly maneuver yourself to sit up. Akaashi tried to pretend not to notice you, but it was impossible when you snatched the extra spoon and the entire pint out of his hand in one fluid motion.

“Jesus, watch out for my fingers,” he mumbled, smirking at the glare you shot his way. But you only held the fake contempt until the first spoon of your favorite dessert hit your lips – then you were sighing and leaning your head against Akaashi’s shoulder.

He patted a hand on your knee, reaching over for a scoop of ice cream and chuckling when you blocked his spoon with yours. You tried to hide the ice cream from him, but his arms were long, and he easily snatched the pint back. 

“Hey!” you cried out, and Akaashi quickly conceded before you really took out a finger. 

“How’d you get home?” Akaashi asked, lifting his feet to rest them on the coffee table and leaning his head against yours.

“Kuroo walked me home,” you replied quietly.

“Good.”

Neither of you said another word as you let the quiet of the evening envelope you, not a single sound save for the occasional clashing of spoons when you both reached for another bite. He could feel you slowly ease beside him, the tension in your body melting away with each passing minute.

When the ice cream was finished, the empty pint decorated your table, along with two spoons haphazardly tossed, surrounded by splotches of melted cream that was sure to be a pain to clean. Your breathing was steady, and the time on the clock read ‘Akaashi is going to be exhausted in the morning’. 

He didn’t care, though. You hadn’t moved or spoken in a while now, and Akaashi was convinced you were already asleep. He already prepared himself to spend the night on the couch, your head on his shoulder and his body twisted in a way that was sure to make his back ache the next day. 

He was just seconds away from giving into sleep’s lovely tug when you broke the silence. 

“I saw him with…” you said, fiddling with the hem of your shirt and clearing your throat, “It was Hikari.”

Akaashi sighed, reaching a hand up to pat your head. 

“Are you okay?” he asked again, a pitiful question that he’s repeated to you countless times.

He waited for your usual answer – vehement denial that anything could be possibly wrong, an airy dismissal of his concerns, and a change in conversation so effortless, it almost makes Akaashi forget what he was saying to you in the first place.

This time, though – this time, a weighted silence followed his question, and you looped an arm around his, hugging him firmly.

“Not really,” you admitted softly. 

It was the first time Akaashi had ever heard you confess your heartache. It was always something that was unspoken, and seeing your crumpled face made Akaashi regret ever keeping things that way. He turned fully to wrap himself around you gently, and you gave yourself to his embrace. He’d only heard a sniffle or two, but he could feel the moisture slowly seeping into his t-shirt. It was a feeling that was achingly familiar. 

“Come on, now. Didn’t we say crying over boys was… I think your words were ‘so fucking embarrassing’,” Akaashi mumbled into your hair, smiling when he felt you chuckle against him. His stomach turned at the inadequacy of his words, but he had no idea what else to offer, so he simply offered himself. “I’m here for you, okay? Always.”

You pulled back for a moment to give him a watery smile. Akaashi wiped at your tear stained cheeks.

“Literally, your snot is dripping down to your mouth, and it’s disgusting.” 

Your laughter warmed Akaashi’s cheeks, smacking him on the shoulder before you stood up. You said nothing else as you stalked off into the darkness of your bedroom, not bothering to turn on any lights before shutting the door. 

A myriad of emotions swirled through Akaashi as he remained seated on the couch. Was there more that he could have said? Could have done? If he had stayed at the party, would he have been able to stop this from happening? Was it even any of his business to stop it? 

But Akaashi knows himself, and knows he would have said nothing if he saw Bokuto sneak away with Hikari. He would have done nothing except perhaps usher you to the other side of the house, using whatever means to keep you distracted. Even if he was there, all he could have done was spare you the knowledge of it – at least for one night. 

He couldn’t help but feel as if he failed you then – to be a good friend, a brother. Or maybe he’s failed you for years. You’d never see it that way, could never even fathom the notion of his failure, and somehow that thought bothers Akaashi more. 

Akaashi stood up and stalked to his own room. He shut the door and collapsed onto his bed, hatred pumping from his heart through his veins as he drifted off to sleep. 

It was that lingering hate he could still feel churning in his gut when he awoke the next morning that spurred him out of bed and scurrying into the living room. He had every intention of starting the day as a new man – one who didn’t allow his cowardice consume him, didn’t place the comfort of his wellbeing over the needs of those he loved. 

Those were the thoughts that ran through his mind, but his momentum halted instantly when he rounded the corner of the hallway, and saw you standing in the genkan. You looked like you had just rolled out of bed yourself, eyes swollen and still wearing the clothes from last night. Your hand rested on the doorknob, the front door wide open.

You turned to him as he approached, and gave him an almost pleading look. Akaashi only had to wonder why you were distressed for two seconds before Bokuto barrelled through the doorway, way too loudly and looking much too bright for the hour. 

Akaashi has seen this dance before. He’s seen it so many times, the sequence of it already playing out in his mind like a familiar melody. Bokuto comes in with a plan that sounded equal parts ridiculous and exhausting, dragging you out without even asking. Akkashi scoffed as you tried and failed to ward off Bokuto with pathetic excuses, but as usual he was having none of it. And both you and Akaashi knew better than to think you could win against Bokuto Kotaro. 

He stood aside while you flurried around the apartment like a blizzard storm, fighting the frown at how Bokuto stood in the foyer with his hands on his hips, a satisfied and smug look on his face. Bokuto turned to Akaashi as if he’d just noticed him for the first time, slapping him on the shoulder before asking, “Akaashi! Why do I feel like I didn’t even see you at all last night?”

It was an effort not to lift a hand and smack Bokuto in the back of the head right then and there. But thankfully, you came rushing out of your bedroom, hastily grabbing a pair of shoes from the genkan. You shot him one last apologetic glance, and you were out the door before he could even bid you goodbye. 

And there he stood – alone in the foyer of his own apartment, feeling like nothing more than a fly on the wall. 

A glance at the clock was the only thing that could have set him in motion, already running ten minutes later than he wanted to start his day. From the tornado named Bokuto that just passed, and the flurry in which Akaashi himself now dashed around, it seemed the apartment was destined to be chaotic. 

He was impatiently tapping his fingers on the kitchen counter, glaring at his coffee machine as if his sheer will would somehow make the brew drip faster, when there was another knock on the door. 

The day was already filled with chaos, but apparently also surprises, because the last person he expected to see on the other side of the threshold was Kuroo Tetsuro. 

The two boys blinked at each other for a second, Kuroo looking just as confused as Akaashi as to why he came to visit in the first place. Kuroo shifted his weight from one foot to the other with his hands tucked in his front pockets, offered Akaashi a nervous smile and a lukewarm attempt at small talk before finally asking if you were still asleep inside. 

Akaashi sighed as he delivered the unfortunate news that not only were you already awake, but were currently being dragged no doubt halfway across the city by none other than Kuroo’s very own roommate. 

“Do you guys not communicate or something,” Akaashi asked blandly, and Kuroo just shrugged.

“He wasn’t there when I got home last night, and he wasn’t there when I woke up this morning. What do you want from me?” 

Akaashi rolled his eyes, but he still widened the door for Kuroo to slip through, who only smiled at him sheepishly as he entered the apartment. Akaashi asked if he wanted some coffee, and Kuroo graciously accepted, slipping back into the easy, laid-back attitude that he’d always been known to wear. 

Content to leave Kuroo to his own devices, Akaashi darted back into his room to quickly change. When he emerged eight minutes later, fully clothed and his backpack dangling from his shoulder, Kuroo was filling up his thermos with coffee while Akaashi’s already sat waiting for him at the counter. 

Akaashi nodded his head in thanks, Kuroo handing him his cup as the two walked out of the apartment in tandem. He didn't say anything when Kuroo remained in step with him, chattering about his classes as they embarked on the twenty minute walk to campus. Didn’t even consider that it was a weekend, and Kuroo likely didn’t even have to head in this direction so early at all. 

Kuroo stayed with Akaashi as far as the library entrance, the latter almost entering the building before he finally had the frame of mind to wonder, “Wait, so why’d you stop by the apartment today?” Akaashi looked over his shoulder and adjusted his bag a bit higher, “Sorry, I was too distracted by… everything. Did you need something?”

Kuroo chuckled almost guiltily, a crooked smile on his lips. He rubbed at the back of his neck, looking everywhere but at Akaashi as if he was debating whether he wanted to tell him the truth. 

“Oh, ha,” Kuroo breathed out, shaking his head slightly, “No, I was just – I mean, y/n looked pretty out of it last night. And I was about to,” Kuroo cleared his throat and adjusted his shirt, “I was heading to that cafe – you know, the one in front of that seven eleven? – and I thought I’d check in to see if she was alive.”

Akaashi’s eyes softened in understanding, pressing his lips into a thin line and nodding his head once as he turned to face Kuroo fully and offered him half a smile.

“Thanks for taking her home last night, by the way,” said Akaashi, “She’s lucky you were still at the party.”

Kuroo let out a breathy laugh and shook his head. He takes a strap of his own backpack off his shoulder and flips it to the front, holding it against his chest as he hastily pulls open the zipper.

“Yeah, it was just good timing,” Kuroo replied while he continued to dig through his backpack. He eventually pulls out a few red packets and hands them to Akaashi, “Here. It’s red ginseng. I’m not sure how long you’re planning to be here, but it should help you get through the day.” 

Akaashi examined the red packets in his hand, almost pouting with appreciation to Kuroo. But when he lifted his head, Kuroo was already walking across the courtyard.

“Make sure to give one of those to y/n when you see her!” He yelled over his shoulder, waving at Akaashi one last time before taking off. 

Akaashi did eat the red ginseng, and it did help him get through the seven hours he had spent in the library that day. And he never thought twice about Kuroo’s impromptu visit to his apartment that morning, nor did he think twice about being escorted to the library despite the cafe Kuroo mentioned being on the complete opposite side of campus. 

Because that was just Kuroo – Akaashi had never known him to be any other way. The very definition of all bark no bite, the kind of man that would tease you relentlessly for a stain on your pants, then take you to a store to buy you a new pair. 

Though Kuroo may have been closer to Bokuto, Akaashi had a tremendous amount of respect for the man, and would probably even go so far as to say Kuroo was also one of his closest friends. 

And when Hikari started to prove herself a new fixture, and Bokuto’s absence became more frequent, Akaashi was appreciative of Kuroo’s steady presence – still showing up to the study sessions, and coming over to watch volleyball games on Akaashi’s “much nicer TV”, and grabbing hot ramen and a cold beer after a particularly stressful test. 

He was acting as the Kuroo Tetsuro he’d always been, and it was that semblance of normalcy that Kuroo effortlessly provided, without anyone asking him to, nor any expectations from anyone else – like a lighthouse in the middle of a raging storm, Akaashi knows it was Kuroo that brought them safely to harbor. 

Because Akaashi was waiting for it. Ever since that day you had come home from your outing with Bokuto, dragging your feet through the door, looking like someone had just ripped the world out from beneath your feet, he had been waiting. For the other shoe to drop, for the inevitable descent into madness - at least your version of it. 

He felt prepared for it in a way, felt ready. He was no longer going to pretend to believe your fake smiles and reassurances that you were fine while you locked yourself in your room days at a time, and he wasn’t going to let you throw yourself so hard into your studies that you forget to eat. 

Akaashi felt things would be different this time around. He’d make sure of it. So he waited for the moment your mask would fall, and prepared himself to catch the pieces.

But the moment never came. 

Don’t misunderstand. It’s not as if Akaashi wanted to see you have a mental breakdown for the eighth time in as many years, and he certainly didn’t want to watch you retreat into a shell of yourself as you attempt to reconcile your new reality with your broken fantasies. 

Akaashi can see it in your face sometimes, even though you try your hardest to hide it. The exhaustion beneath your red-rimmed eyes, the very slight downturn of your lips when you thought no one was paying attention, and the tiredness in your slumped shoulders, as if you’ve been carrying a mountain on your shoulders. 

Still, you always made sure to take care of everybody, and you did it for so long. Akaashi didn’t want to admit to being part of the guilty party, but he had just been as willing to take everything you gave, and believed when you said you needed nothing in return. 

It was shameful, and a little bit more than selfish, but a small part of him wanted this chance. To prove himself a worthy friend, that he could take care of the people that mattered to him the most. He almost hated himself for it, for using your suffering as an opening, but he wanted to make up for all the lost opportunities, for the pain his silence might have caused. 

It was his turn to take care of you, and he was ready to do a damn good job.

Except, you were fine. 

He was thankful, if not a little thrown off by the lack of a depressive episode. But thankful, nonetheless. 

More than thankful, though, he was curious. Bokuto was becoming increasingly absent, flaking on plans and ignoring phone calls. Akaashi had never seen him be so serious about a girl, and even he was feeling annoyed about being left in the proverbial dust. Akaashi had imagined you’d be a little more… upset.

He hadn’t noticed any particular changes. Your routine hardly deviated, aside from the occasional dinners or drinks at the bar with him and Kuroo – if you were not in class you were at work, if you weren’t at work you were home, and if you weren’t home you were in class. For a short while, Akaashi felt like he had been living with a ghost, just going through the motions until the sun set and rose again for the new day. 

Sometimes, though, he’d find you on the balcony, sitting on the matching chairs Bokuto’s sisters bought for you when the two of you had first moved in. A mug of coffee or tea would be in your hands, the liquid looking as if it had long gone cold. You wouldn’t acknowledge Akaashi whenever he’d step outside to join you. Say nothing as he sits in the vacant seat beside you, staring only out into the blinking lights of the city. 

When you were this way, Akaashi knew better than to try and bother you to speak. Your mind was eons away, in a world where Akaashi had never been and would never get to see. So he settled himself to sit beside you silently, until you were ready to climb back down from wherever you wandered off to.   

But even those days became few and far in between. 

It was something that confused him, like he’d been following a trail of crumbs laid before him, yet had no idea where it would lead him to. 

That was, until he walked up to Study room 201 for the usual Tuesday evening session. On a normal day he would simply barge into the room without a thought as to who was already in there or if they were in the middle of anything important. But there was a tug in his chest that halted him in front of the narrow, rectangular window cut-out of the sliding door. He was still as he peeked through the glass, and something clicked so loudly in his brain, his eardrums nearly burst. 

Because Study Room 201 was already a mess of textbooks and papers, prohibited snacks and drinks littered the conference table, and Kuroo Tetsuro was sitting next to you. 

You were leaning over as you read something on his laptop screen, and Kuroo slightly leaned back to give you some room. Your eyes were roving over the screen quickly, faster than any normal person should be reading. Then you frowned at something, your finger pointing at certain spots as you explained his mistakes. 

It seemed like you were ripping into Kuroo’s essay or project or whatever it was he was having you read over, your mouth running off into a seemingly endless tangent of all the things he could have done differently. If it was Akaashi in that situation, his head would probably feel so hot from how irritating your voice surely would have sounded in his ears. He might have shoved you away altogether. 

Yet, there was Kuroo Tetsuro, sitting in the seat Akaashi had only ever seen one other person sit in, staring at you as he tried but failed desperately to hide the smile on his face. You turned just as Kuroo’s smile bubbled into a chuckle, and you smacked your pen so hard on his head, Akaashi was afraid he might start bleeding. 

Kuroo’s chuckle turned into complete laughter, loud and obnoxious and infectious, it was only a matter of seconds until you dissolved into a fit of giggles yourself. 

Neither of you paid him much attention when Akaashi finally decided to open the door. In fact, it seemed as if you hadn’t noticed him at all, despite nearly slamming the door in his haste to enter. Akaashi settled into the seat across from you, as he’s always done, and a small part of him wondered if Kuroo might move back into his usual seat beside him now that Akaashi has entered the picture.

He didn’t. He simply smiled at Akaashi and asked him if he’d like a turn to criticize his work. Of course, Akaashi agreed and thoroughly enjoyed tearing down Kuroo’s perfectly good thesis if only because it made both of you laugh. 

Akaashi felt incredibly stupid for not seeing it before, and now that he has, he doesn’t understand how he could have possibly missed it. He stared at the man beside you now, sneaking grapes onto your laptop to get you to eat and wordlessly walking down the hall to fill your water bottle and filling in the seat Akaashi never braved to fill, and the revelations pour over him like a waterfall, loud and rumbling and serene all at once. 

He’s glad it was Kuroo. 

It was a little painful, though. Not a heartbreak, nor a pang of jealousy, but there was an ache that took hold in his body all the same. And he hated that selfish part of him that was hurt – wishing it was him that could have helped you heal.

But it wasn’t him, and he’s glad it was Kuroo. 

Whatever sort of pain or shame or guilt that he was torturing himself with was quickly eased away by the sound of your muffled laughter through the apartment walls during late night phone calls, the color that was beginning to return to your cheeks, and the light that had finally returned in your eyes.

In those following months, you stopped locking yourself in your room, stopped losing yourself in the city lights on that cold, empty balcony. And more than once has Akaashi come home to find you and Kuroo splayed across the living room, either giggling over something playing on the TV screen with beer cans littered across his coffee table, or sitting beside each other in comfortable silence while you both worked or studied.

One way or another, Akaashi would get roped into whatever it was you were doing with Kuroo. And he’ll complain, berate you two for wasting his time on nonsense and tomfoolery, but it was those moments that provided him with a sharp clarity, like he finally has all the pieces he needed for this puzzle. 

Akaashi may have been just a man on the outside looking in, but the picture that Kuroo had built with you – for you – was more beautiful and warm than Akaashi had ever thought to imagine. And whether you realized it or not, you now went about your days with a permanent smile on your lips and a lightness in the air about you that Akaashi had not felt in years. 

It had filled him with something he didn’t even know he had been missing, as if his lungs were finally taking their first gulp of air after so long underwater. The brightness you started to exude felt as warm and refreshing as summer’s first rays of sun, and Akaashi finally lets himself relax. 

Because Kuroo – that son of a bitch, Akaashi could kiss him in the mouth – he had taken the pieces of you that were scattered across the dirty floor, and he’s put together every single shard until you were nearly whole again. He had breathed an entirely new life into you, a mosaic of all the things you thought you couldn’t handle, brought back to make you stronger. You were almost unrecognizable. 

But people don’t change so easily, and some habits are ingrained into your bones. Akaashi could already see the beginnings of it. The self-doubt, the fear, overthinking your every word and action. Often, Akaashi felt as if he could hear your thoughts from across the room, his throat constricting as they wrapped around him like a noose. 

He didn’t want things to be the same, he told himself. Things were going to be different this time. He’d said it like a mantra over and over again, and now was the time for him to put his money where his mouth was. 

And one day, Akaashi was in the kitchen making his usual cup of coffee, you came bouncing – no, literally, you were bouncing – out of your room with just about the goofiest smile he’d ever seen on your face, and it was all the push he needed to step over the line.

He allowed himself that bit of courage, something he’d spent years shoving to the back of his mind, smothered by his own hands.

“Excited for your date?”

“It’s not a date!”

“Would it be so bad if it was?I mean look at you, you’re smiling like an idiot.” 

For one, glorious, precious second, Akaashi thought that things would finally work out. The gears started spinning your head, and even though you glared at him, Akaashi could already see a sparkle in your eye, and a hint of smile you tried to hide.

“You know what, Keiji, I’m getting sick of you –”

And it only took three knocks for everything to come toppling down. 

The not-so-serendipitous entrance of Bokuto Koutaro was usually accepted with open arms, and an exasperated sigh that wasn’t actually exasperated but a little excited to see what he’s got planned for the day.

But that day, the sight of his streaked hair made Akaashi’s stomach drop to the floor, and hearing the way he spoke to you only made Akaashi see red. 

He almost didn’t register the slam of his front door, the blood roaring in his ears too loudly for him to hear your heated exchange. He couldn’t even bring himself to feel sorry for his best friend, pouting like a child whose favorite toy was just ripped from his hand. 

Akaashi knew, deep down somewhere in a dusty corner of his heart, that Bokuto didn’t mean any harm. He might have even thought he came here with the best of intentions, that maybe he was trying to be a good friend. And maybe that’s what irritates Akaashi even more, the complete lack of self-awareness, and the obliviousness to those around him – perfectly content with staying inside his own Bokuto-powered bubble. 

Irritated, yes. Still, Akaashi couldn’t bring himself to be truly vexed. Not when Bokuto looked just as confused and distraught. Akaashi didn't know what he was thinking, or perhaps he wasn’t even thinking at all, but he couldn’t stop himself. But the worst part of it was, he didn’t want to. Because you were finally letting yourself be happy, and he wasn’t going to let Bokuto ruin it. 

“She’s finally moving on. You shouldn’t do anything to mess that up.”

“Just leave it alone, Bokuto-san. Before anyone gets hurt.”

By the time he was finished, the flames of anger Akaashi felt just moments prior had completely died, and he was left with nothing but a taste of smoke and ash on his tongue. He spoke the words a lot more calmly than he felt, a familiar sense of sympathy creeping over his heart yet again.

Because the look on Bokuto’s face was one Akaashi had seen before, but never on him. A mix of shock and confusion, topped off with a hint of anguish and regret. It looked sad enough on you, but on Bokuto, it was heartbreaking.

So he truly didn’t know. Akaashi’s not sure if it made him feel better or worse. He just knew he was finished with this game, and although he couldn’t really understand the gravity of what he’d just done, he didn’t regret it. When Bokuto silently nodded and left his apartment, he felt only relief.

There was an eerie calm that settled in the wake of Bokuto’s departure. You came back from your date-not-date with Kuroo in infinitely better spirits than when you left, back to skipping around the apartment while humming a tune only you could hear, and the morning’s debacle was already long forgotten. 

Kuroo, unsurprisingly, became quite determined to attach himself to your hip, with a new sense of comfort and a different sort of tension that Akaashi didn’t feel like addressing. It seemed the encounter with Bokuto had added fuel to more than one fire, and if Kuroo was trying to hide his feelings before, he wasn’t bothering to do so now. Akaashi’s caught the way Kuroo looks at you more than once, and it’s even given him butterflies more than he cared to admit. 

Bokuto eventually apologized, and he’d even started bringing Hikari around more. She really was a sweet girl, clearly putting in the effort to get to know Bokuto’s friends. She even desperately tried to ignore Bokuto’s longing looks at a certain blossoming couple, and Akaashi wished he had the capacity to care just a little bit more about the poor girl Bokuto dragged into the tangled web of his heart. 

Alas, he was too busy preparing for the storm.

Akaashi had always been an overthinker. It’s in his nature, something inherent in him that he could never shake no matter how hard he tried. Or it could be the result of his younger days hiding behind his fear, maybe it was something he never actually got over. Akaashi doesn’t know. He doesn’t think he knows much of anything these days. 

His useless mind was only searching for ways he could have prevented this. If he pushed you about your feelings earlier, would you have ended up with Bokuto instead of Kuroo? Would it have been the two of you laughing and dancing, pouring honey in each others’ ear in a crowded room like no one was watching? 

If not for Akaashi, would Bokuto have ever even realized you were in love with him? Were it not for him, would it have eaten away at Bokuto’s very heart until he attacked his own best friend? Akaashi should have kept his mouth shut. If he did, then maybe you might have actually allowed yourself to enjoy being with Kuroo, to let him romance you in the way he’s been aching to do, to let yourself fall in the way you’ve been afraid to for so long. 

And if he did, then maybe he wouldn’t have found Bokuto’s white-knuckled fists gripping Kuroo’s shirt in the middle of a stunned crowd, drenched in sticky alcohol and hair in disarray while you were crying in the corner. Hikari wouldn’t have been sobbing in the back of a dirty taxi, fighting the bile rising in her throat from the betrayal of the one meant to love her most.

He wouldn’t have had to drag you home, too stunned into silence to fight him. He was thankful for that, because he knows that if you had seen the look on Kuroo’s face as everyone he loved left him soaked, eyes stinging, and alone… Akaashi would have deserved that punch you’d throw in his face. 

There were a plethora of things he wished he said, things he could have done. They played through his mind like an endless reel of maybes and what ifs and would haves over and over again as if determined to drive him insane.

He’s not sure what to do now. He’s not sure if he should even do anything. He was tired, he hadn't eaten in at least twenty seven hours, and when he looked in the mirror that morning, he cringed at the deep purple color that encircled his eyes. 

The coffee maker beeped loudly, and Akaashi mindlessly grabbed his mug from the cabinet. His eyes were unfocused, relying on his muscle memory to grab the oat milk creamer from the fridge and mixing in his preferred amount of sugar. 

The morning was calm, a stark contrast from the evening before, and Akaashi’s been awake for a lot longer than he’d care to admit. He stirred his spoon in circles, watching the whorls of milk blend into inky water. This was his fourth cup. Four times he’s brewed a fresh pot, hoping to have one ready for you once you step out of your room. Four times the coffee had turned cold, and he watched it swirl against the steel of his sink as he poured it down the drain. Four times he’s walked to the counter to brew a fresh pot again. 

He winced when he took a sip, coffee burning his tongue, like one last insult to his injuries. By now, he’s already used up more than half the bag of coffee beans you brought home from work just the other day. He hated being wasteful. He hated drinking more than one cup before he could even eat his breakfast. He hated waiting for you alone with nothing but the sugar granules littering his dining table to keep him company. 

He hated the silence in his apartment. He hated the 53 missed calls on his phone from Kuroo and Bokuto. He hated that he was the one who sent Bokuto into a downward spiral. He hated every single face that did nothing but gawked with their phones out while two men – who had never so much as raised their voices at each other  – looked like they were two seconds away from ripping each other's throat out.  

He hated everything.

But he would still do it all over again. Let the fire he had unknowingly started burn their slate clean. If it means peace, if it means freedom from the cage they built around themselves… then he’d do it all over again, for his friends. 

And once it grows cold, Akaashi will brew another pitcher of coffee. He will make himself another cup. 

And he will sit in this chair, and he will wait until he sees you walking out that door. 

The sun was nearing its peak when you finally woke up. 

You cursed yourself for forgetting to draw all your curtains last night, and you squinted against the harsh rays of sun now beating down on your face.

It was an effort to open your eyes. There was crust lining your waterline, stinging your lashes when you tried to flutter them open. Your lids still felt heavy and swollen, and you barely won the battle of keeping them open. 

Your head was throbbing, so loudly that it was the only thing you could hear. You dig into your temples with the heel of your palm, groaning as you positioned yourself to sit up. You run your hands along the rumpled sheets until your fingers hit something hard. You dig through a little more, closing your eyes and bracing yourself as you grab your phone. 

Dead. Only a black screen stared back, no matter how many times you pressed the buttons. You tossed the phone back on the mattress just as you flopped yourself back down, the both of you landing on the sheets like a useless brick.

You should probably charge the damn thing, but you couldn’t bring yourself to disturb the morning’s peace just yet. You doubt you’d find another moment of it the second you get out of this bed. 

Instead, you bury your fingers into your own hair, twisting your body around until your face is buried in your pillow, and you fight the urge to scream into it, too worried that the extra strain might actually cause you to hurl your guts out.  

Not yet. 

You burrowed even deeper into your sheets, wrapping the blankets around yourself until you were nothing more than a cocoon of self-preservation. Because you weren’t ready to face it. The betrayal you were unknowingly the center of, the years of friendship that was splintered in a matter of seconds, the broken hearts of the people you cherished the most. You weren’t ready to face any of it. Not yet.

As if the cowardly admission was some sort of key, memories began to flood through wide open gates in your head, soaking you all over again with sticky alcohol and salty tears. You tried to push it back, tried to cover yourself, like holding an umbrella in a hurricane. But the waves of memory overpowered you, knocking you off your feet each time you remembered Kuroo’s wide-eyed, vacant look as he watched Akaashi haul you away. 

Kuroo. 

Tetsuro.

Even a mere whisper of his name still sends shocks through your nerves, makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand straight. The thought of him consumed you so easily, so wholly, like he was a blanket of calm that smothered all your raging thoughts until there was only him. Everything about him made you so dizzy, light headed and out of breath.

Every time you hear his voice, so rich and creamy, it coats all over you like something luxurious on your skin. Forcing yourself to pretend that you’re not breathing in his scent whenever he’s near, pretend that cedar and smoke and warm amber don’t haunt your dreams – it was a tremendous effort on your part to keep yourself sane, to keep yourself from free-falling into the rabbit hole that was Kuroo Tetsuro. 

But last night… You could have dreamt all you wanted about what it would be like to have him look at you with shaky breaths and dilated pupils and ask if he could kiss you, and it still wouldn’t have amounted to anything close to actually having him in front of you. It made you want to laugh almost as much as it made you want to cry, because of course Kuroo Tetsuro could make reality surpass fantasy. 

You wished the memories could have stopped there, that your night ended with the only kiss that has ever made you feel like you were in the clouds.

But fate was almost as cruel as life. 

It was difficult to explain how it felt, for everything to finally click into place while also spiraling into confusion. 

You understood with painful clarity why Hikari hated you, why she acted like you were a pebble in her shoe, and looked at you as if your very existence was an eyesore. You remembered that fight with Bokuto, and the tension that never went away even after the two of you reconciled – all the times Bokuto’s mood would plummet at the mere mention Kuroo, each time you ignored the frustrated glances he threw towards the both of you, hoping you were simply imagining things.

Because what reason could Bokuto possibly have to act that way? You thought about it over and over, and could never come up with an adequate conclusion. 

Now, your willful ignorance has finally come to pay its retribution, a sort of cosmic joke that you were sure some powers above found absolutely hilarious – because Bokuto Kotaro was in love with you. In love. With you. Has been, apparently, for … you didn’t even want to think of how long, couldn’t comprehend the implication of his confession.

A confession that you vividly remember praying for, words that your heart has longed for and ached to hear. Cried for in the silent void of your bedroom, hoped for in your fractured soul, because for so long, you waited, even just for a sliver for a chance for Bokuto to actually see you as more than a friend, more than just the overbearing manager who followed him to college. 

It almost kills you to know that he was waiting for the same thing. 

For a moment, you envisioned it. The life you could have had with Bokuto – walking around campus tucked beneath his arm, registering for classes that fit each other’s schedule, wearing his jersey when you watch his games. Maybe you would have joined the team as a manager, and there wouldn’t have been a second you wouldn’t spend together. Bokuto probably wouldn’t have even waited for the first year to end before convincing you to move in with him. The apartment would have been small, but he wouldn’t ever miss a single dinner together. 

Every morning, you’d wake up to an empty bedroom, but by the time you prepared two steaming mugs of coffee, Bokuto would have already returned from his morning run. He’d kiss you and embrace you, and you’d get ready for the day together, leave your home together, and come home together.

Grief is peppered through every thought like weeds, mourning for the time lost and each memory that never happened. It would have been a beautiful life together. It would have been filled with love, laughter, and happiness so bright, just imagining it made your eyes burn. 

The smell of fresh coffee permeated through the musty, stale air of your bedroom. You could almost see the trail of the scent wafting through the open seams of your door, snaking through the smog until it wrapped around you like a warm embrace. It beckoned you like a familiar friend, so enticing that it actually spurred you to sit back up. 

Suddenly, you felt your stomach grumble and the dryness in your mouth felt like ash, as if the smell of arabica beans was that first fallen domino that had all your issues tumbling into each other. You ignored the rush of nausea churning in your stomach that had nothing to do with the amount of alcohol you drank last night, and swung your legs over the side of your bed, feet absently shuffling against the wooden floor until they found your slippers. 

You stifled a groan as you stood, and dragged your feet across the room slowly. You snatched the thin robe you kept hung over your computer chair, and wrapped it tightly around your body, taking a deep breath as you closed your fingers around the door knob and twisted it open. 

You nearly choked on the wave of aroma that rushed at you so fast, you might have thought you were stepping into an actual roastery instead of your own living room. You half expected to see Akaashi standing over a heated pan, vigorously stirring beans until they turned brown – or however the hell one would roast coffee, you seriously had no idea. 

Instead, you found him standing in front of the coffee maker you bought for him two Christmases ago, hands on his hips and foot tapping on the floor. The machine was bubbling and hissing as the coffee dripped slowly into the pot, and the counter was an abhorrent mess that you’ve quite literally never seen Akaashi make in the entire time you’ve lived with him. 

“Did you open up some sort of… cafe in our apartment that I wasn’t aware of,” You tried to keep your voice light and playful, but the words scratched at your throat, and they came out sounding tired and rough.

Akaashi could have broken his neck with the speed he turned around, shooting an arm out to catch himself on the counter when his momentum threatened to hurtle his body too far. He regarded you with wide, tired eyes, coffee staining his shirt in four different places, and you had a strange feeling that if you reached up and tried to run your fingers through his hair, you would find a bird’s egg nestled somewhere deep within. He looked – and you were putting this nicely – like absolute shit. 

You tried to smile, and his gaze immediately softened, lips coming together into a tight line. And you regretted any previous thoughts you might have had about the malnourished vibe he was putting down., because the pathetic way he looked at you definitely said that you looked about a million times worse. 

“I thought I’d give it a try,” he said softly, crossing his arms as he leaned against the counter, “It can’t be that hard, can it? Especially with an experienced barista in the vicinity.”

You clicked your tongue, and gave Akaashi a mocking glare, “You wouldn’t be able to afford my skills and services.”

Akaashi brought a finger up to his lip in faux-thought, and you felt your heart flutter when he opened his arms wide, “I can pay with warm, comforting, and gentle embraces?”

You shook your head, and your slippers slapped against the wooden floor as you hurriedly made your way across the room and crashed into Akaashi’s arms.

“Can’t you be normal and just call it a hug?” Your voice was muffled against his chest, “Who the hell calls it an embrace these days?”

He pulled you against him even tighter, “Literary geniuses, that’s who.”

A chuckle softly escaped from your lips and vibrated against Akaashi’s chest, and it felt like a tether had been snapped. Even more giggles tumbled out, and the fact that Akaashi was not laughing somehow made it even more funnier – made what funnier, you actually had no idea, though at this point you could hear how unhinged your laughter actually sounded. But you couldn’t hold it back, and you laughed until your belly ached, and tears formed on the corners of your eyes. 

You laughed until the laughter felt like acid burning up your throat, and the tightness of it made it difficult to breathe. The tears that pooled in your eyes now flowed freely down your cheeks, and there was no stopping it then, not when you choked out a sob, clutched at the fabric of Akaashi’s shirt and cried. While Akaashi rested one hand on the back of your head, and stroked small circles around your back with the other, you wept and you cried. Cried and cried and cried. 

Whatever restraint you’d been keeping against your heart was undone by the strength of Akaashi’s arms around you, and knowing that he was there to hold you together… it was enough to have you falling apart.

You don’t know how long the two of you stood in that kitchen for. It could have been a few minutes. It could have been a few hours. Akaashi didn’t falter, didn’t move a single inch. Through each shuddering sob, every heaving gasp for air, Akaashi had stayed. He waited until the shaking subsided, and your breathing evened out, and there was not a single tear left to cry. 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed before you peeled yourself away from his embrace, wiping your entire face with the sleeve of your robe. You backed another step, and Akaashi met your swollen, red eyes with his own sunken, tired ones. He tried to smile at you, and tried extremely hard to seem like he wasn’t uncomfortable in his soaked shirt.

“Go change out of that thing,” you said by way of apology, cringing at the mess you’d left behind, “Please.”

For a second, you thought Akaashi might have argued with you. But then his eyes switched from you to the hallway then back again, before he nodded and darted to the direction of his bedroom. You breathed out a laugh and walked to the counter, grabbing a towel from beside the sink and wiping away the coffee grounds that dirtied your usually-immaculate kitchen. 

You were sweeping up the stray flecks that littered the floor when Akaashi came barrelling back into the kitchen. Before he said a single word, he snatched the broom violently from your hand.

“Hey, I was –”

You couldn’t finish your sentence, not when Akaashi practically shoves you into a seat at the dining table. 

“Stay,” he pointed a finger at you, and you quickly swallowed back the snarky comment you were prepared to throw out. Your eyes just silently followed Akaashi as he fussed around the kitchen, mopping the rest of the floor and shaking his head at you when he realized you’d already cleaned the counters. 

He grabbed your favorite mug – drying on the dish rack like it had just been washed after use – then turned to make you a cup of coffee. But when he touched the top of his fingers to the glass body of the pitcher, he frowned. Deeply. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“The coffee got cold again,” he grumbled, making you shoot out of your seat and scramble towards him when he yanked the decanter off the hot plate and headed to the sink.

“Stop!” you practically screeched, just barely making it in time to grip his wrist before he could fully pour the contents down the drain. “What the hell are you doing?” 

Akaashi just stared. “It’s cold now.”

“So?!” you looked at him like the roles have now been completely reversed, “We can just microwave it or something. You don’t need to throw the whole thing out.” You tried to pry the pitcher out of Akaashi’s hand, but he clutched on tightly.

“I wanted you to have fresh coffee,” he said simply, and you gaped. You looked at him for a second longer before your eyes flick back to the counter that you just cleaned up, and realization washed over you like a gentle shower. 

“Did you –” you paused for a second, unsure of how you were going to deal with this situation, “Have you been making a new pot of coffee each time it went cold?” 

Akaashi opened his mouth as if to speak, but quickly clamped his lips down to press them into a thin line. You managed to grab the pitcher from Akaashi with no resistance, and rushed to place it back into its proper place on the machine. In your peripherals, you could see a crinkled bag, folded in half and tucked in a corner behind the coffee maker. 

“Is that…” you mumbled to yourself before quickly snatching the nearly empty bag from its hiding place, “Keiji!”

He winced slightly when you presented him with the evidence, coffee beans flying astray when you shake the bag in Akaashi’s face.

“I just got this bag, Keiji!” you groaned, lamenting the gallons of your favorite roast undoubtedly swirling through the drainpipes of Tokyo by now. You peeked into the bag, frowning when you saw that only about a fourth of the bag had been saved, “Now I have to wait until next month for the cafe to give me a free one.”

“I wanted you to have –”

“Fresh coffee. I got it,”  you sighed, placing two hands on each of Akaashi’s shoulders. Again, he showed no resistance when  you pushed him backwards and sat him on your empty chair. He opened his mouth to argue when you grabbed two mugs and poured in the cold coffee, but the glare you shot him was enough to make him shut it. You ignored his searing gaze as it trailed after your every movement, ignored it burning holes in your back while you microwaved the two mugs of coffee, ignored the burn in your throat at the pathetic way he watched you place one mug in front of him, and held the other as you took the empty seat across from him.

You gestured silently to the mug of coffee.

“Drink,” you ordered, and the word made Akaashi instantly grab the handle, “There’s only room for one mental breakdown in this apartment at a time. And I call dibs for today, okay?”

Akaashi couldn’t stop the laughter that broke free, and you couldn’t help but smile at the exasperated way he shook his head. When the two of you lifted your mugs, your eyes met for just a moment, and the smile you shared with your best friend might have been enough to heal your heart. 

Then, you took a sip of the coffee, and the moment the dark liquid hit your tongue, you had to fight the cringe, and pretend that the way he burnt this batch didn’t break your heart all over again.

“That’s…” you begin, searching for the words. You coughed instead of finishing your sentence.

Akaashi simply sighed. He reached a hand in his pocket, and pulled out his phone.

“What are you doing?” you asked, watching him slowly slide his fingers up and down the screen. 

He gives you a pointed look. “What’s it look like? I’m getting breakfast delivered.”

The sun looked just about ready to set by the time you and Akaashi decided to settle down. Empty take out boxes were piled in the proper compartments of the trash bin, and neither of you have bothered to clean up the crumbs all over the table. 

Breakfast had passed by silently, the both of you just content to be in each other’s presence, still sniffling as you shoved entire forkfuls of souffle pancakes from your favorite bakery. You shrieked with delight when you recognized the logo on the bag Akaashi retrieved from the delivery man. You didn’t even scold him for the insane delivery fee he probably had to pay for them to bring it all the way here. 

You just crushed him in a tight hug and accepted his kindness with a kiss on the cheek. He sighed in the way you imagined an older brother would about his annoying little sister, despite you being an entire year older. It made you chuckle, especially when he let you break his very strict “no eating in the living room” rule. 

If Akaashi had any questions or concerns about the events that transpired last night, he mercifully kept them all to himself. After breakfast, he dug out the kotatsu blanket from the storage closet, and – after screeching to Akaashi that he was banned from making any beverages for at least a month – you brewed some of his favorite green tea.

You laid under that kotatsu with Akaashi for hours, sipping on tea that had long turned lukewarm, talking about things that were of neither importance or relevance. You wasted away the entire day, it seemed, if the setting sun and ombre skies out the windows were of any indication. 

Akaashi sat across from you, his back leaning against the foot of the couch. The kotatsu blanket reached up to his waist, and his head lolled lazily to the side as he scrolled mindlessly through his phone. You’d long thrown propriety out the window, though it never is in the room when you’re with Akaashi. You managed to snuggle yourself completely under the kotatsu table, the blanket skirt covering your body while using your seat cushion as a pillow. 

Akaashi had gone through tremendous effort to make this day feel as casual as last week’s Sunday morning. You had a niggling feeling that if you let him, then Akaashi would be very content in keeping you inside this bubble of safety and comfort that he’s curated specifically for you. He’d keep the problems that were waiting past these four walls at bay for as long as he possibly could. This, you knew without a shred of doubt. 

It was a kindness that you held closely to your heart. One that you knew was the type of kindness that didn’t boast, but wrapped itself around you gently and held you against its chest. The longer you looked at Akaashi, rubbing his finger against his nose and eyes glued to the screen, the more your heart swelled with that affection he generously poured into your cup. 

And you knew that because he’s loved you enough to create this bubble, you had to love him enough to pop yourself both out of it. 

“Keiji,” your voice felt hoarse from the silence, the words scratching at your throat, “Was I really that blind?”

Akaashi stilled almost imperceptibly, if you hadn’t known him for years, you probably would have missed it. He clicks the button on the side of his phone, and he gently places the black device on the table. He shuffles to move his seat cushion from beneath him and tosses it to the side, settling himself beneath the blanket before laying down to face you. 

“You weren’t blind, y/n.”

He said it so gently, probably worried that if he spoke any louder, then you would shatter. It softens your heart as much as it sends a spike of irritation through you.

“Dumb, then? Oblivious? Stupid? Naive? Either way you spin it, it still comes down to my faults, my…” your voice cracks, the traitorous thing, and you stopped to clear your throat, “What word would you use, then, Keiji?”

“Young. Afraid. Hurt,” He says with a lot more force and clarity than you expected, each word striking directly into your heart, “A whole lot of other words before stupid, actually. An entire dictionary’s worth.”

You wanted to wipe that look off his face, really. Eyes misting his usual blue to a foggy gray, and failing to stop his wretched mouth from quivering. How many more people in your life were you going to hurt? You felt pathetic.

You stay silent for a moment before starting, “Bokuto… he must have also been in a lot of pain,” you sighed, turning to supine and training your eyes to the popcorned ceiling, “Everything’s so… fucked up. And it’s all because of me and my stupid ignorance and –”

“Please, stop saying that,” Akaashi groaned loudly, balling a fist into his own hair. 

Exasperation floods through you like a tidal wave, it crashes through you viciously and your body shoots itself up into a sitting position before you could even think. You couldn’t hold back the glare at Akaashi before asking him with a bite, “Well, what do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know,” Akaashi answers with a growl, maneuvering himself up to face you, his fists landing helplessly on the table, “but please, stop saying stuff like that, not when–” Akaashi sighed, bring two fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “I knew about everything for… a long time.”

You shrugged carelessly as you replied, “Well, yeah. I know I never actually told you, but I thought you figured it out after… the equipment room incident.”

Akaashi pursed his lips together. “Oh, I did. But I wasn’t talking about just you.”

Your eyebrows lifted, opting to stay silent. Akaashi nibbled at his bottom lip in hesitancy, allowing him the time to process through whatever he clearly wanted to say. You brace yourself when you see him taking a slow, deep breath.

“With you, it was… so fucking obvious. And it wasn’t just because you followed him around, or laughed obnoxiously loud at his dumb jokes. If anybody looked at you for longer than five seconds, they’d see it on your face – clear as day. You looked at him like… I don’t know. Like he made all the flowers bloom, or painted the sunset with your favorite colors or something poetic like that.”

“That sounded pretty poetic to me,” you laugh, though it sounded hollow and despondent in its attempt to hide the gut punch Akaashi’s words delivered. Akaashi smiled ruefully, but he continued. 

“My point is – you never had to tell me. I knew it. You knew it. We all knew it. Your feelings were never the big secret you thought it was. Bokuto might have been the only person in this world that never picked up on it. And actually, there was a point in time when I genuinely thought he was ignoring them on purpose. Fuck, maybe he did. I never really figured it out. I don’t really think he ever did either. Because with Bokuto…”

Akaashi took the deep breath you’ve been holding the entire time he spoke, and he looked directly at you this time as he spoke.

“I knew he loved you. He loved you, maybe a bit more than he knew what to do with. God, if you only saw how he’d glare at any guy that tried to even look at you. They were ridiculous – hilariously vicious. He always did it behind your back, but it was about as subtle as a flashing neon sign. I don’t know how you never caught him.You followed him around, sure, but he made sure he kept you by his side, never letting you stray too far from him. Because if you weren’t next to him, then he was… lost. It’s stupid but– yeah, I think I knew he loved you, even before he knew it himself. And I could have told him. Should have told him. It would have been easy, quick – ‘Bokuto, Y/N is in love with you’. And he would have gone running. Well, nevermind. It might have taken him a couple days, but when it hit him… I don’t think anything in the world could have stopped him.”

Silver streaks on Akaashi’s face matched the warm tears that trickled down your own, and you tried to catch his gaze but at this point, he stared fixedly down at his lap. 

“Keiji…” you called out to him, somehow wrangling his name through the tightness of your throat, because you need him to look at you. Needed him to see that you didn’t blame him, would never even think to. But he doesn’t meet your eyes. Instead, he barrels on. 

“But I didn’t. Obviously. I kept my mouth shut, and just watched you two bumble around like idiots. It was, believe it or not, torturous for me. For the longest time, I kept my nose out of your business, because I know what it’s like to… Ahh,” He bows his head, and covers his eyes with the palm of his hand. It took a moment before he wiped his hand away and continued, “I did try once, though. With you. And I felt so completely iced out afterwards, I remembered exactly why I kept out of it for so long.”

He must have sensed the rebuttal at the tip of your tongue, but he interrupts you before you could even start.

“I’m not telling you this to make you feel guilty. I’m telling you this because… I was afraid too. I was scared that if I had kept pushing, then you would have pulled away from me completely. I was scared that Bokuto would think I was overstepping my boundaries. I was scared that it would work out, and the two of you would phase me out of your lives. I was scared it wouldn’t work out, and everything would be…”

His voice trailed off, so you softly finished for him, “Fucked up?”

He finally, finally looked at you then. You reached across the table and held his hand in yours. You felt him stiffen for a second before turning his hand and curling his own fingers around yours. A giggle of relief spills from your lips, and it elicits a chuckle from Akaashi, and the sound blooms within you.

“You guys are my best friends,” Akaashi said, his grip on you tightening just a fraction, “And I saw what you were putting each other through. I was watching it all happen in front of my own eyes. I should have done something more, right? If I had tried harder with you, if I just talked to Bokuto, if I bothered even just a little bit more to get over my shit and helped my friends…  Then this never would have happened. And Kuroo… God, Kuroo. He didn’t need me to do a damn thing, he just loved you but still I managed to fuck things up for him and –”

“Shut up!”

Akaashi started a little at your sudden outburst, but it achieved the desired effect. He blinked at you once, then twice. You almost felt a twinge of guilt at your lack of patience, considering all that Akaashi was beginning to unpack in front of you. But weren’t you the one that called dibs on the mental breakdown today? If he thought you were just going to sit there and listen to his blasphemy, then he’s sorely mistaken.

“Don’t you even try to blame any of it on yourself, Keiji,” you spat out, irritated, “How could you even say something so convoluted? How could you even think such a –”

“It’s true, isn’t it?” Akaashi interrupts you fervently, as if desperate to get you to listen to him, “I let my fears hold me back, instead of facing it for the people that mattered to me. I’m just a coward.”

“No, Keiji. You’re not a coward. You…” You let out a heavy breath, all the sharpness in your tone now softening at Akaashi’s deep set frown, “Do you even have any idea how much you saved me? Even though things were… unspoken between us, I knew you understood me. Without me ever having to say a single word, you understood me. And you never judged me or tried to tell me I was wrong. You just… you just held my hand. No matter what happened, good or bad, if I looked to my side, I knew I would see you there. Do you think you’re the only person that notices the little things? I felt your support, and I felt your love. Even when you didn’t say it out loud.”

“But–”

“No more buts, I really don’t want to hear it. You weren’t the one responsible for us,” your eyes were hard, providing no room for arguments, “You were just a kid. What could you have even done? You saw how stubborn I was being! Do you really think I would have listened? You were young, and afraid, and didn’t know any –”

Too late. The words flew out of your mouth quickly, you didn’t even think twice about it. Your guard was down, and you knew that was the most dangerous thing around Akaashi Keiji. Because too slowly did you realize the trap he laid out in front of you. And as the words slipped past your lips, you realized you were already too late. Akaashi was already looking at you with that smug grin.

“It’s not the same, and you know it.”

“No, it’s not,” He chuckled at you as if you weren’t staring daggers at his soul right now, “But if you can afford me that much grace, then I think you owe the same to yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. You won’t meet a single person that doesn’t have any regrets. But you can’t let those feelings define you. Only improve you. I know you’re feeling… a lot of shit right now that I probably can’t even begin to process. But it’s what you do with those feelings that matter.” He propped an elbow on the table, and rested his chin in the palm of his halls. “Are you gonna let it keep you down?”

You felt a little stunned, and though Akaashi’s words were simple, you could feel them find their mark. Hot tears pricked at the corner of your eyes yet again, and you didn’t look away from Akaashi as you let them fall. Still, you crossed your arms indignantly and pouted. “I can’t help but feel like I fell for some dirty trick.”

Akaashi laughed this time, waving his hand to beckon you closer to him. You begrudgingly moved from your spot, ignoring the ache in all your joints from your lack of movement, and crawled to sit beside Akaashi. He lifted the kotatsu skirt for you to settle under before wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “Dirty trick or not, as long as it gets the point across.”

“I understand, Keiji. I do, but still,” you sighed, leaning your head against his shoulder, “It’s difficult not to feel foolish.”

“I know,” Akaashi said as he laid his cheek against your crown, “I know. Fools in love, right?”

You didn’t know what to say, so you chose not to say anything. The lull in conversation allowed you the time to process his words, closing your eyes to feel everything you’d been avoiding the entire day. With a deep inhale, and a slow exhale, you silently search for the strength to let it all go. 

A buzz on the table catches your attention. Akaashi makes a point to ignore the notification, even more so when it buzzes again. 

The sight of his phone only served to remind you of your own, sitting dead and silent somewhere in the corner of your room for the entire day, of the calls that went straight to voicemail, of the messages that are unanswered – of the two men on the other side of line, waiting to see which way their world is about turn. 

“Have you heard from…” 

Akaashi lets out a snort through his nose. “Oh, yes, I have. I’m probably dead for ignoring all the calls and texts. But I needed to make sure you were alright before I answered anything.”

You chuckle, moving out of Akaashi’s one-armed embrace and sitting up to face him fully. “I love you, Keiji. I’d pick you if you were in love with me too, you know. What do you say? Wanna throw a towel in the ring?”

Akaashi laughed, loud and brash and genuine, and for the first time that day, you actually believed that everything will be alright. “I love you too, y/n. But I’d rather die.”

You nudged him hard with your elbow before standing up, leaving Akaashi to rub the sore spot while you stretched out your sore limbs. “I guess it’s time to stop hiding now, right?”

“Yeah…” Akaashi trails off, and you wait for him to ask the question you could see had been brewing in his mind for hours, “What are you gonna do?”

The question shoots a pang of loneliness through you. Because no matter what decision you make, everything will change. Your friendships will not walk away unscathed, and there will never be going back to the way things were. This was irrefutable, and that thought alone should terrify you, should make you want to scramble back on your knees and beg the gods to turn back time. Yet, it doesn’t. 

No, instead you’re filled with a sense of clarity that you’re not sure you’ve ever felt before. It pained you to know that you’ll hurt the people that matter to you the most, but not as much as it would pain you to know that you weren’t being true to yourself. 

It was time for you to choose your own happiness.

“Nothing’s changed for me, Keiji. I’ve always known what I was gonna do. Whether this truth came out or stayed hidden forever… my answer is going to be the same.” You smiled sadly as you spoke to Akaashi, and he offered nothing but an understanding nod, “From now on, for me, it’s always going to be him.”

✧: @kawaii-angelanne @boosyboo9206 @theglitterypages @rntrsuna @vinsmouke @chi-anpan @jinadamsel @kowalsqq @arcorjoan @galaxyfloater3

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#kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo x you #bokuto x reader #bokuto kotaro x reader #kuroo x y/n #kuroo x female reader #bokuto x y/n #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #hq kuroo #hq bokuto #kuroo fic #bokuto fic #akaashi keiji #kuroo tetsuro #bokuto kotaro #bokuto x you

[lowkeyerror]

Messy

Natasha Romanoff x Reader, Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: Angst, Ambiguous Ending

Requested by: @wandalovermcu

Summary: You and Natasha are engaged and it should be the best thing to happen to your relationship. However, it is quite the opposite. When Natasha starts to become distant, her best friend Wanda has no problem stepping up in her place. Needless to say things get complicated.

Masterlist

You used to be sure that you loved Natasha. She was your ideal partner. She was everything you wanted in life. However, you no longer knew that version of Natasha.

Usually, an engagement only strengthens the existing relationship. This wasn't the case. It seemed as though you got engaged and everything went awry.

Natasha had all of a sudden become a stranger to you. She hardly paid any attention to you. She hardly took you out anymore, she rarely came home, and she hadn't called you beautiful in what felt like forever.

This should've made you spiral into a hole of depression, but it didn't. Wanda wouldn't allow it.

Wanda was Natasha's best friend, but lately she had felt like more than that to you. Everytime Natasha let you down, Wanda was there to pick you up.

You weren't stupid. It was clear to you that Wanda had cared about you deeply, but where did that leave Natasha. This entire situation was messy.

It felt like a classic love story. Two best friends and a girl in between. Someone was going to end up hurt. Natasha was your fiancé, but she wasn't the same woman you had fallen in love with.

Wanda… she was everything Natasha used to be and more. You were tired of giving Natasha chances. You had given her the benefit of the doubt more times than you could imagine.

If this was how the engagement was going, you couldn't picture a happy marriage.

So one day, you sat on the couch waiting for Natasha to come home. Your head was in your hands and tears were streaming down your face. Sobs racked your body as the reality of the situation finally set in.

When Natasha came home, she noticed you immediately.

" Baby, what's wrong?"

She tried to touch you, but you moved out of her reach.

" Natasha, I can't do this anymore."

The woman was confused," What?"

You slid the ring off of your finger and held it in your fist," This isn't working. We aren't working."

" Baby, what are you talking about? I love you," now Natasha was panicking, scrambling to try to fix this.

" I don't believe you any more Nat. The moment we got engaged, it's like you stopped trying with me."

You don't think you've ever seen Natasha cry until today," I'm sorry, I- I can fix this. I can fix us, I- just please don't leave."

You leave the ring on the couch as you stand up. Natasha moves to try to stop you," Y/n, wait. I-"

You place one last gentle kiss on her cheek, then walk out of the door.

When you get into your car, you let your instincts take over. When you parked, you were at Wanda's house.

You got out of the car, legs feeling heavier than they ever had before. You rang the doorbell and waited for an answer.

When Wanda opened the door, she already knew what happened. A simple text from her best friend had told her everything she needed to know. She pulled you into a hug and you sobbed against her shirt.

" I've got you," the storm of emotions in Wanda's head was violent.

The woman that she loved was in need. Her best friend needed her too. The decision may have been too easy, especially with you in her arms currently.

There wasn't much you could say that Wanda didn't already know. She was almost a part of the relationship as much as you and Natasha.

So she did what she thought was right. She brought you into the house and let you cry until you couldn't cry anymore.

When you stopped, there was only one thing on your mind. An intrusive thought that had been lying dormant until this very moment.

" I'm fragile right now. Possibly more fragile than I have ever been in my life. I'm also confused because there are so many things that I'm feeling, but it's not fair that I keep this from you. I think I love you."

If Wanda head wasn't such a mess, she would've thought harder about what she was doing. If you weren't on the brink of emotional collapse, maybe you wouldn't have said anything.

The 'if' statements didn't matter when Wanda kissed you. There was greed behind her movements. She wanted this, she wanted you.

She had been there for you every moment Natasha failed. Wanda loved her best friend, but she was the furthest thing from Wanda's mind as she began pulling your shirt over your head.

Neither of you stopped. Not when Wanda carried you to the bed, not when she opened her bedside drawer, and definitely not when your back arched off of her bed.

When the morning came, you thought you'd feel regret instantly. However, it didn't come until you looked at your phone. Dozens of missed calls and texts from your fiancée. Ex-Fiancée.

Wanda was sleeping peacefully beside you. Against your better judgement, you carefully climbed out of the bed to call Natasha.

You exited the bedroom and took a seat at the top of the stairs.

She answered on the first ring. Natasha didn't let you speak," Have dinner with me?"

" Natasha, I-"

" I'm not asking you to take me back, just please hear me out. It's just dinner, and then you don't ever have to hear from me again."

Your hand combed through your hair," Fine, dinner at the Italian place on 3rd. 7, don't be late."

" So you're back together that quick," Wanda's voice rings out from behind you.

" It's not like that," you try to reason with her.

" Get out," she says calmly.

You try to protest, but she doesn't care," GET OUT."

You quickly make your way down the stairs and out of the front door. All you can do is get in your car and lean your head against the steering wheel.

This was all too complicated. You started the car and just drove around the city. So many convoluted thoughts swimming through your mind.

Wanda and Natasha. You had probably ruined their friendship last night. You shouldn't have gone to Wanda's. You didn't regret going, everything you told her was true.

The way she made you feel was real.

You tried reaching Wanda, but all of your messages were left unopened. The calls were sent directly to voicemail. You left a few, but you doubted that she would listen to them.

Time moves a little weird after days like these. Most of the day had gone by when you finally decided to head over to the spot you'd meet Natasha at.

She was there waiting when you pulled up. You both looked like hell. The table was already ready, so all you had to do was go in and sit.

You weren't hungry. All you ordered was water. The tension between both of you was new. It was unfamiliar, neither of you knew how to navigate it.

Part of you didn't even want to try. It was in the silence that it was easy for you to tell that you didn't love her anymore. Not like you had before. The inability to care enough to make an effort spoke for itself.

" I don't have anything to say, that I didn't tell you yesterday," you finally broke the silence.

" I never wanted to lose you," Natasha countered.

You chuckled," I never thought you would."

" I love you, and I'm sorry I did this to us."

You looked at her," I just don't love you like I used to."

It was hard to say. The woman that you once thought you'd spend your whole life with no longer held your heart.

She went to speak, but then your phone rang. It was Wanda.

You answered instantly. Sounds of slamming cabinets and glasses clinking could be heard from over the phone," I… really don get it? Why, canny we be together? We'll always be together, we'll always be together. Dang dang shoopity shoop papa. Do you like grease?"

" You're drunk."

" Pssssh, no. I've only had 1,2,3… what comes after 3 again," she giggled into the phone.

You sigh," I'm on my way."

You stand abruptly from your spot. Natasha looks defeated as she stays seated. You kiss the top of her head one last time.

" In another world," you whisper against her scalp, before heading out of the restaurant.

The front door was unlocked when you got to Wanda's. You followed the sound of music to her kitchen. There you found her dancing with a mess of baking materials on the island.

" Wanda," you yelled over the music, and she turned towards you.

A bright smile on her face. She marched over and planted a kiss on your lips," Y/n, oh my goodness. You are so beautiful, my love. Dance with me."

" Happy drunk," you whispered to yourself.

" Come on," she tried to pull, but almost ended up slipping. Luckily, you had a tight grip on her waist.

You tried to hold in your laughter," What if we went to bed?"

She gasped," We already did last night. Are you coming back for round 2 ?"

You shake your head," Ask me that in the morning. For now, I mean just sleeping."

She pouts, "But I'm not tired."

You raise an eyebrow," I think as soon as your head hits the pillow, you'll be out."

She tilts her head to the side," Out of what?"

You laugh and instead of trying to reason with the woman, you resort to different tactics. By different tactics, you mean throwing her over your shoulder and carrying her upstairs.

She giggles as you gently place her on the bed. Her eyes already begin to flutter the moment you put her down.

" I thought you weren't tired?"

She lets her eyes close and flips you off," M'not just resting my eyes."

You go to respond, but she's already out. You make your way back down the stairs, cleaning up the mess she had made in the kitchen. By the time you finish washing the dishes, you're tired, too.

You hope Wanda doesn't mind as you freshen up and slip on some of her sweats and a t-shirt. As much as you'd love to sleep in bed next to her, you settle for the couch downstairs.

When you opened your eyes the next morning, you had a perfect view of Wanda. She was staring at you with a blank expression.

" Sorry, I called in the middle of your date," she spoke apprehensively.

Though your body was groggy, your mind was wide awake. You slowly sat up to have this conversation with Wanda," It wasn't a date. Natasha and I barely even spoke to each other. I told you when I first came over that I was confused. After our night together, things were a little clearer. At dinner with Natasha, I was certain something changed."

" So, what are you saying?"

You looked deeply into her eyes," I'm saying that there is something here between us that I want to explore but..."

" But what about Natasha?" Wanda finished your thought.

The question weighed heavy over the two of you," Natasha is your best friend, and she needs you right now. Arguably more than I need you."

She sighed," This fucking sucks."

" I know," you grabbed a hold of one of her hands. Her head fell onto your shoulder.

" Wait for me?"

It felt like you should be the one saying it rather than her. All you could do was kiss the top of her head.

" However long it takes."

#wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x reader #lowkeyerror

[conclush]

Did she ever loved me?

pairing . ִ ་ ˖ ʿ ִֶָ ׄ Angelina Jolie x Fem!Reader

summary . ִ ་ ˖ ʿ ִֶָ ׄ you couldn't take it anymore that angelina kept you secret from her family after her divorce that's why you had finally made a decision for the both of you.

warnings . ִ ་ ˖ ʿ ִֶָ ׄ angst, mention of harassment

an: I know I said I'll be taking a break but I still can't stop myself from writing but I'm currently feeling better.

masterlist

„ seriously angelina you're always not showing up to our dates!” you yelled sternly at the tall woman infront of you and she furrowed her brows.

„ you know my job and my kids are important to me y/n so yes I have to not be there!” she scoff at you so you did the same thing as her but with pure anger.

You've both been always fight like this after angelina's divorce with brad when you both had started dating angelina told you to keep you're relationship for the sake of her and her kids you first understoodly her it must've have been hard for the kids to be apart with their father so you agreed on it.

Months went by until things changed whenever you both had a pleasure in her house she would immediately told you to leave because her kids might see you but you told her that she should told you about her kids she would make a short sorry and some excuse that you almost hated about her.

You can't keep this anymore you thought if she ever love me then why do we have to secret ourselves? Does she even love me?

„ Angie I understand that you but when will you tell them though? I mean we've been dating for 5 months then you would just either call me to come over to your house to have sex or you would pull me away or you just got drunk and take me with you where you would just fuck me there and there and after that you would just throw me out. We don't even go into dates anymore because again you wouldn't want people knowing about us.....I feel just like a fuck toy angie!....a booty call for you.” you finally confessed to her and you let out a tear fall down you're cheeks as she stare at you blankly you thought there was never love in her eyes.

Angelina sigh at herself the putting her hands to her hair before looking at you while you crossed your arms.

„ look babe I know but I'll tell them soon ok?, I promise.” you shook your head disagreed at her promising.

Now you carefully stare at her calmly before letting out a breath.

„ no angie don't make a promise to me anymore.” she thought for a moment before giving you a nod she walk into you as you tried to avoid her eyes because if you did you would broke.

„ I'll be back if these finally calmed.” she kissed your forehead before leaving you onto your bed.

You finally let out a cry this is so hard that you couldn't take it anymore you didn't even know if you both are dating or just friends with benefits it's like a game that never ends she would tell you that she was going to tell the others soon but it will never happen because you couldn't even feel it.

As you finally have relax yourself from the breaking heart of yours you made your way to your bed you could feel your own eyes being red and puffy as you sat down to the other side of your bed you're eyes began to blurry again you gave the air a shaky sigh and brushing your own tears with your hands.

Before you could lied down your phone ring meaning someone had texted you but you just stare at you phone for awhile you were thinking if it was angelina you let out a shaky breath before picking up your phone from the nightstand.

You saw it was a very close friend of yours before you could reply to his text you immediately got a little bit of a shock.

Brian✨

Hey y/n/n how are you?

You know I just got invited to a party and I was hoping if you would like to get drinks🥂?

You

I don't bry I don't think I'm feeling good today.

Brian✨

Why are you hurt? Are you sick? Do you want me to come over to your house?

You smile at his worries for you but you thought that you might indeed need a drink.

You

No I'm alright ty for the worries tho but you know I should come over to.

Brian✨

Oh ok then I'll pick you up then so expect some handsome guy over at your doorstep😉.

You

Ok old man, will do!

After your texting with Brian you finally close your phone feeling a little bit better you made your way to your closet and choose a casual dress.

You and Brian had met in highschool he was smart and you were athletic one he was the class president of your classroom and at that time you would play volleyball with your teammates what you didn't know that Brian has been eyes for you for many years.

You both would always talk at some point you were the first one who talk to him you both had a lot of common things but when you had turn into college he told you that his parents wants him to study him abroad to be honest you were upset that your friend needs to go but you told him it was fine and that you should see each other in the future he totally agreed on you.

Many years went by after you finally graduated you start to work your butt for long hours your dream was to be a lawyer to right the law at some point when you met one of your new workers back then you were shock to see who it was, It was Brian. Alot of things changed about him his taller now and not wearing a glasses anymore which made him more handsome.

After you had finally encountered him again you both stay connect to each other he was the first one to ask your number you friendly gave him to it his attitude change also too.

Now you're here sitting alone waiting for Brian to come up with a drinks in his hands let's say that you had drank alot of alcohol that had maybe made you a little bit tipsy.

You let out a hiccup as you look around you this is what you need for now no Angelina jolie, no arguments just this, drink.

As you continued to hiccup you felt a rough hand through your waist you slowly turn to who it was, some weirdo old drunk man trying again to flirt on you but you immediately took his hand off from you're waist and before you could stand up he holds your wrist roughly that could leave a bruise.

„ hey pretty why don't we and you're perfect body of yours enjoy? Wouldn't you like that?” you tried to push him away but his hand was stopping you from doing it.

You might have drank a lot but that could never make you drunk enough.

„ fuck off you old shit and get the fucking hell off me!” you hissed at the pain his giving you before you could let go you felt a hard smack across your cheeks that made you fell from the couch.

„ you need to learn some respect beautiful you don't want me to fucking hurt you!” your hand made their way to your cheek that has been slap.

He was about to hit you again but soonly got punch across the face from someone the man stumble and fell from the ground and a mess in the table which you didn't even care at this point but you were thankfull to whoever it was.

You slowly look up to see Brian with pure anger on his eyes his wrist began to became red at the same time he gave the old man a stern look as he was about to get up the securities were here.

All you could hear is the old man yelling to the both of you brian cupped you're cheeks making you to look at him and that's when you saw some sparkling in his eyes.

He gave you his handkerchief and you excuse yourself at the restroom he even ask he he should go with you you just refuse him and immediately running off to the restroom.

You lock the door and you turn to water you put the both of your hands in the sides of the sink you look at yourself in the mirror with shame, disgust and regret.

You heard your name being called outside it was Brian checking for you if you were ok as you got out from the room and nodding at him you were still holding his handkerchief tightly he took your hands to him and rub it gently.

„ hey don't worry everything is going to be ok alright good thing is that the securities believe me that that man had tried to harass you they immediately threw him out, I'm so sorry if I wasn't there early I could have protect you.” he calmly said you stare at him before giving him a sad smile.

„ it's fine really I guess today is just really bad day for me.” you both finally sat down at the couch but not the same place where the mess happened.

You look down at you're fingers fidgeting it as Brian was about to take a drink but soon stop himself he could see you, he was hurt that these happened because of him all he wanted for the both of you is to enjoy and finally tell you something very important.

„ Did you broke up?” he slowly said as you put your head on his shoulder and shaking your head.

„ I don't know bry, it's been hard for me it really has for the both of us... I don't even know if she ever loved me..I don't know if I should break up with her it's just been hard for the both of us.” you look at nothing while Brian look at you worriedly.

He already had known that you and angelina had been dating for months but he promised that we would never ever told anyone about your relationship it was still a good thing because even how bad your relationship is Brian kept his promise, and you were glad he did.

„ look y/n/n, love is never kind; love is confusion and pain and abandonment. It's every single nightmare your mind has been plagued by. And yes, it can unmake you in ways you never thought were possible, but love— it will remind you what it's like to be a human.” he gently rubs your scalp as you tried to observe his words.

Until it hit you, you finally had a choice that should have been chosen for the past months.

Brian took you to your home he ask is you ever wanted for him to stay so he could take care of you but you just happily refused him and after you said your goodbyes you didn't expect for you to find out that angelina is sitting on your couch with jealousy and some...shame in her eyes?

She slowly look up to who it was, you were finally home she waited for you for many hours she even thought that you had left the house and currently staying at a friend's house.

„ you're finally home I've been waiting for you.....so who was it that dropped you off?” you avoid her eyes onto but you could feel her eyes are burning through your back you could feel it.

„ just a close friend of mine nothing more.” she hummed in response she know you had gotten into a party but she at least you were out with your friends that she know but that guy who just dropped you off she has never seen him in her entire life.

Angelina tried to stopped herself from asking more knowing that it could lead to a huge argument again.

Now you turn your head towards and meeting her beautiful eyes you could finally look at her with a blankly expression.

When she felt that this tension is familiar she couldn't help but stare at you nervously.

„ you're breaking up with me aren't you?” you smile at her bitterly and nodding at her direction.

„ I guess this is it. I'm really so so sorry y/n for how I treated you— you definitely deserve so much better and I'm so sorry that I didn't gave you that a partner should does... I'm sorry that I made you think that you're just a booty call. But I just want for us to remain friends.”

„ Angelina I've always known that you're kids and you're career is important for you but I glad that we both learned our lesson and I don't think there's anything I need to forgive you for Angie, I understand that you're still going through impossible with your divorce so I respect your decision and I'd still love to still be a friend of yours.”

Finally the big boat from your chest has finally sink you don't feel anymore unless some ease and peace.

You both gave each other a sad smile and Angelina pulled you onto her arms and you both hug each other before saying you're final goodbyes.

Years went by and it's been 3 years later when Angelina is currently sitting in the church watching you from the distance finally getting married to Brian finally who made you realized what truly love is and that made her realized of how much of a mistake by letting you go.

But inside of her was happy for you but in her heart she would have a special place for you.

an: thena hc is currently on a process!

#angelina jolie x reader #angelina jolie #angelina jolie x you #angelina jolie imagine #angelina jolie x fem reader #maleficent x reader #maleficent #thena imagine #thena x reader #thena eternals #thena goddess of war #thenamesh #lisa rowe x reader #lisa rowe #elise clifton ward x reader #elise clifton ward #lara croft #lara croft angelina jolie #marvel #marvel imagine #mcu fandom #mcu imagine #mcu x reader #new marvel movies #the avengers #lesbian #gxg #angst

[finnlongman]

All right, time to talk about the Maines. I apologise that this is so delayed -- I've had terrible pain-related brain fog lately, but today I can at least think, even if I'm typing this from bed because sitting up at a desk is Bad.

A couple of weeks back, a friend sent me this AskHistorians question:

This is very much my area of expertise, but I don't use Reddit, so I said I'd answer it here, for the benefit of @llwhn (and anyone else who is interested).

First of all, context: I published an article about the seven Maines in Cambrian Medieval Celtic Studies 83 last year, which is one of the only pieces of research published on the topic in recent years. Unfortunately, I can't share this article online due to the copyright restrictions of the journal, but it's my research there that I'm drawing on. The Maines are a complicated bunch -- although we're told there are seven of them, they actually number between six and eight in any given list, and their names vary noticeably.

To show how much they vary, let me show you the table I produced for my CMCS article:

As we can see here, there’s considerable variation in a) how many of them there are, b) what their names are, and c) what order the names are in. This last point might not seem important, but it’s going to come up later.

Now that we’ve had a chance to appreciate that the ‘seven’ Maines are a far more complicated bunch than they appear, let’s get down to the specifics of your question. You wanted to know whether Maine Cotagaib-Uile’s epithet is implying that he’s nonbinary (or perhaps intersex?), especially as it talks about inheriting traits from both parents. This is a really interesting question, and not one I’d thought about before – surprising, since I also work on queer readings of medieval Irish texts. Having thought about it for a while, I don’t think that’s what’s being suggested here, but let’s look at it in more depth.

‘Cotagaib-Uile’ is probably the epithet to have received the most attention of those in this list, although given how little has been published about the seven Maines, that isn’t saying too much. This is interesting, because as you can see, it’s not in all of the lists, and some of the omissions are significant.

Quick Maine backstory: in some traditions, we’re told that the Maines originally had different names, and were renamed because of a prophecy Medb was given that her son Maine would kill Conchobar. She had no sons called Maine, so she renamed all of them (and one of them ends up killing a Conchobar, but not the one she wanted dead). This story is found in Cath Boinde / Ferchuitred Medba, as well as in a couple of manuscript fragments by itself; the first four columns of the table above show the lists of names given there.

In fact, let’s have another table, this time showing the ‘original’ names of the Maines and the epithets they were given when renamed, according to these four manuscripts:

Yep. As we can see, these manuscripts can’t agree on anything, which is funny, since they’re all versions of the same text. It just goes to show what a complicated question the Maines’ epithets offer. The fact that Cotagaib-Uile isn’t in this list is interesting, though, because some scholars have attributed quite a lot of importance to this name.

Introducing: Sir John Rhys. John Rhys was the Jesus Professor of Celtic at Oxford in the 19th century, and yet despite this distinguished academic background, managed to write a lot of absolute nonsense. That’s the 19th century for you! Rhys has the dubious honour of at least being creative in his wildly unsupported arguments; I love the confidence with which he’ll assert “this undoubtedly means X” when there is definitely a great deal of doubt and in fact it almost definitely doesn’t mean X.

Rhys is, however, one of the only people apart from me to have spent much time looking at the names of the Maines, so I was forced to consider his arguments for a while when I was writing this article. As we’ve seen above, there are often more than seven Maines, and Rhys, who had a theory that the “secht Maine” represented the days of the week (“sechtmain”), was keen to understand why there might be eight of them. He said that the epithet ‘Condagaib-Uile’ should be read as suggesting that this Maine ‘contained or comprehended all the others’. In this way, he’s functioning as a ‘superlative eighth’ to the seven – all the others are contained within him, just as sometimes triads give three examples of something and then a fourth that’s better than all of them.

But that’s not what the explanation given in Táin Bó Cúailnge suggests it means, is it? Now, I’ll note that Faraday’s translation is pretty old, and I wouldn’t generally use it. However, I pulled out Cecile O’Rahilly’s translation of the same line, and it’s pretty similar:

‘Their names are Maine Máthramail, Maine Aithremail, Maine Mórgor, Maine Mingor, Maine Mo Epirt, who is also called Maine Milscothach, Maine Andóe and Maine Cotageib Uile—he it is who has inherited the appearance of his mother and his father and the dignity of them both’

Cóir Anmann, a treatise on names, gives an explanation that seems to encompass Rhys's interpretation while saying the same thing as TBC:

‘who includes them all’, ‘i.e. had the appearance of his mother and father. For he was like them both’ (trans. Sharon Arbuthnot)

It's clear that even when Cotagaib-Uile is referring to "them all", it's not quite in the manner that Rhys argued, so his interpretation isn't particularly convincing. (He also attributed a lot of important to Cotagaib-Uile being the last in the list, which we can see very clearly from the table above is not always or even mostly the case.)

Instead, it definitely seems to be the “appearance” of both mother and father that the text claims Maine has inherited. Let’s look closer at that, because we don’t want to be misled by translations. Faraday uses ‘form’ instead; the difference there is negligible, but it might be significant, if we’re trying to read into this regarding gender and bodies.

The Irish word in TBC is ‘cruth’ meaning form, shape, appearance; beauty of form, shapeliness. It does refer to physical appearance, but it doesn’t seem to be a particularly gendered term referring to physical traits. There is no evidence, for example, that this is implying an intersex body containing both male and female traits. The simplest way to read this is just “he looks like both his parents”, which is a normal thing to say about somebody.

Moreover, it’s worth considering this name in the context of two of the other Maines in the list:

Aithremail, ‘like his father’, ‘i.e. he was like his father, i.e. like Ailill son of Máta’ Máithremail, ‘like his mother’, ‘i.e. he was like his mother, i.e. like Medb daughter of Eochaid’ (again from Cóir Anmann, translated by Sharon Arbuthnot)

If one brother takes after their father, one takes after their mother, then suggesting that a third brother might take after both of them doesn’t seem like a particularly loaded statement.

Indeed, if it was a loaded statement, we would expect these Significantly Gendered Traits to show up somewhere else. After all, Maine Mingar and Maine Mórgar get a whole story in which the “duty” (gar) of their names is positioned as central – that’s Táin Bó Regamain. So we might think there was a story in which taking after Medb or Ailill was significant, but there’s certainly no surviving story in which that happens.

That doesn’t mean there never was a story in which that aspect of their epithets was emphasised, but although Maine Mathremail and Maine Athremail are present in every list (a rarity among the Maines), I’m not aware that they ever get to take a starring role in any text that survives today. Likewise, there isn't a story in which Cotagaib-Uile’s superlative or combinatory nature is foregrounded.

All of that is a very long winded way of saying that I don’t think they are implying anything about this Maine’s gender: I think they’re simply saying that he has inherited traits from both Medb and Ailill. Since Medb is notorious for behaving in an “unwomanly” manner by trying to lead armies into war and so on (something some medieval authors were not impressed by), this also probably isn’t suggesting any of those traits were especially feminine.

But. That doesn’t mean this epithet, and the textual explanation given for it, doesn’t create space for a nonbinary reading of Maine. I’m all in favour of exploring queer possibilities regardless of the authors’ intentions. I think it would be challenging to argue for a trans reading overall simply because Maine Cotagaib-Uile does nothing else in the text except be included in this list, and therefore has no personality or behaviours to draw on, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t choose, in your own creative or exploratory works, to explore nonbinary possibilities.

Moreover, although I don’t think this Maine is being portrayed as ambiguously gendered on purpose, Táin Bó Cúailnge is not a text where gender binaries are neatly demarcated and always maintained. Crucially, Cú Chulainn himself is a deeply ambiguous figure whose masculinity is constantly questioned, undermined, and problematised by those around him, and his own behaviour challenges their assumptions and their definitions of 'man'.

As people who follow me here know, I have an article which will be available in the next month or two about the ambiguities of Cú Chulainn’s gender and what this says about TBC as a text. I tend towards a transmasculine reading, and suggest one in this article, but that’s certainly not the only possibility. The value of queer and gender theory is that once you start dismantling assumptions about gender in this story, you can have a lot of fun looking at how it’s actually being constructed, rather than just how we assume it’s being constructed.

So I definitely think there’s potential for exploring more facets of gender in TBC than the ones that have already been discussed (by me or by others). And perhaps looking at epithets like this and what they tell us about personalities, appearances, and gender would be a good place to start – because clearly, medieval authors didn’t think it remarkable that a son could inherit the appearance or nature of his mother, or neither Maine Mathremail nor Maine Cotagaib-Uile would have the epithets that they do.

tl;dr: This passage in Táin Bó Cúailnge is probably not implying that the character in question is nonbinary, but there is lots of space for queer readings of this text.

For further reading on the seven Maines and the meaning of their epithets, you might enjoy my CMCS article; there’s a link on my website, which is also where I will also upload the article about Cú Chulainn and gender as soon as it’s available.

I hope this has been useful/informative, and I’m sorry it took me so long to get to it!

#6-8 assorted maines #tain bo cuailnge #the tain #the seven maines #medieval irish #ulster cycle #ask historians

[kidney9-9]

Not Today Mister - Chapter 16

hi hope you enjoy this update!

Aizawa x Reader Warnings: Cursing, low self asteem Aizawa

-

Aizawa felt horrible for how he treated you, and angry at Hizashi for keeping it a secret for so long. He wondered why you liked him, he felt odd thinking about it because he viewed himself so unlikable. Unable to be viewed as something good, even though he was a hero and a teacher.

His self-esteem was so low.

Hizashi knew about this and even warned you about it too. Hizashi knew what Aizawa was thinking whenever he looked at him, because of the strange expression on his face. He hoped that his friend was doing okay though and stuck beside him. He hoped that he did the right thing by telling him the truth, but he wasn’t sure what would happen to you. He felt a bit guilty because he promised to be your friend, and went against you in some way, even if it would benefit you two.

“Shouta…” Hizashi spoke up. His friend glanced at him for a moment, considering him and then looked away again.

“Shouta don’t feel like that. It’s okay. She probably moved past it already.” Hizashi said, tilting his head.

“No, she probably hates me now and wonders why she even liked me!” Aizawa responded, sighing deeply.

“Stop it, you don’t know what she thinks.” Hizashi replied.

“Well, neither do you.” Aizawa retorted smartly.

“I know her better than you do, she’s a good person and one that I think is perfect for you. She’s sweet, kind, considerate and she can take care of herself. Isn’t that perfect?” Hizashi gave him a half smile, hoping for Aizawa to smile back, but knew he wouldn’t.

It took him a while to respond, as he was considering his words, “Yeah, actually. She sounds great, better even for a person like me. Why don’t you date her? You’re a better person than me in all kinds of ways, Hiz.”

Hizashi ducked his head, embarrassed by the nickname, “C’mon. You don’t just say that. You’re usually snarky as hell, what’s wrong?”

“Her. I don’t even know her and she’s making me feel this way, I’m thinking about things I gave up in this life. Is it worth it to try?” It took almost everything in him to admit this.

“Shouta! Of course, it’s worth a try. Just try it, a date with her one time and see if you like her, if you enjoy the date. Talk to her first, obviously… I mean, you need to tell her that I told you or I guess I could tell her too, but she might freak out.”

“Freak out? Why would she freak out?” Aizawa was confused.

Hizashi chuckled, “She really likes you and she made a plan to hide from you because of her feelings, why wouldn’t she freak out?”

Somehow that made Aizawa smile lightly, making Hizashi’s eyes widen in surprise. “That’s cute.” Aizawa mumbled.

“Cute? Oh, c’mon now please just go talk to her and ask her out on a date!” Hizashi groaned, slapping his hand on the couch.

“But what if she actually doesn’t like me? If she realizes I’m a screwed up 30 something year old, with no hopes or dreams in his life?” Aizawa responded, sighing as he put his hand on his face.

Hizashi’s mouth fell open, “Shouta.” He grounded his jaw, showing how angry and frustrated he was.

“You are not what you’re describing. You’re my best friend who has accomplished so much in life. You’re a pro hero, for god’s sake. An awesome teacher! You pulled through life even through the hardest times, even when Oboro died, it was you who pulled me out of my own head, and it’s you who would do it again. You are amazing, Shouta. Don’t fucking tell me you think you’re nothing? Because you’re everything you could be. She sees that, Shouta. She understands it. I’ve told her some of your ups and downs and she would support every part of you. I know it.” Hizashi got out, emotionally.

Aizawa stared at him in shock, “Hizashi…” He trailed off. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything. Shut up, get off your ask and go talk to her, moron.” Hizashi rolled his eyes.

Aizawa chuckled in shock, “You’ve never called me that before, you must really think she’s the one for me.”

“I’ll call you that again if you say something that stupid again, got it?” Hizashi raised his eyebrows at him.

“I think I prefer this Hizashi, instead of the screaming dumbass one.” Aizawa said, smile still on his face.

“Shut up.” Hizashi smiled back.

“God, that’s so much better than the other you.” Aizawa chuckled.

“Are you going to go talk to her?” Hizashi brought up.

“Well… yeah, have to now that my best friend’s telling me to.” Aizawa said back.

“Good, finally listening to me.” Hizashi laughed.

Aizawa rolled his eyes, “Not going to happen again for a long time.”

“Got it, man. The last time you listened to me was when I gave you your hero name. See how great that turned out.” Hizashi smirked, rolling his eyes.

“Hm, so you think this is really going to work out and be ‘great’?” Aizawa asked, raising his eyebrows at Hizashi.

“Of course, I do. I know it’s going to be great. That’s just who I am, the great man who knows great things.” Hizashi laughed.

“I’m being serious here. What if I screw up? What if we actually don’t like each other?” Aizawa voiced his concerns.

“You won’t know until you try, man. I think it’ll go well because you and her have good compatibility. I think you should at least try and figure it out because you won’t know if you don’t try.” Hizashi reasoned.

“I guess you’re kind of right. Don’t tell anyone I ever said that.” Aizawa said, shaking his head at him.

“Don’t tell anyone what?” Nemuri popped into the room, surprising the two of them.

“Ah! Nothing, nothing at all!” Hizashi spoke up loudly, causing Aizawa to lean away from him and get up from the couch.

“I’m going back to sleep!” He announced, walking over to his sleeping bag while Nemuri and Hizashi chuckled about it in the background.

#aizawa x reader #aizawa x you #mha x reader #bnha x reader #thank you for reading!

[yeommiedocs]

Emergency - Yugyeom (M)

Summary: Your friend with benefits doesn’t answer his phone so you decide to visit him.

Rating: Mature - smut

warnings/tags: idol!Yugyeom x female reader, friends-with-benefits, face riding

Word count: 0.9K

As you woke up you couldn't help but feel extremely horny. You looked to your right and read 10:30am on your alarm clock. Not wanting to be up this early you figuratively punched yourself and got up to take a cold shower. This did nothing but make you irritated so you picked up your phone to text Yugyeom.

You'd started your friends with benefits relationship two months ago and things were going strong, him calling when he needed you and vice versa. After 5 minutes of him not texting back you called him. By the third ring he hadn't answered and you were desperate at that point and decided to go over to his place and use your "in case of an emergency" key. 

Yugyeom had warned you not to use the key whenever you wanted to come over and to only use it when the situation was life or death. You could've just used your toys and you would've gotten to the same end-goal, orgasm. But you wanted and craved him; his aura, his smell, his dick. So you took a taxi twenty minutes to his house and unlocked the door. Nothing was heard, not even Dalkyum barking so you assumed he was staying over at Yugyeom's parents house.

This made your sneak up on Yugyeom especially easy and you walked toward his bedroom on your tippy toes just in case. Once you reached his room and peeked around the doorframe you saw Yugyeom sleeping peacefully. Hating to wake him from his slumber, you walked over to the bed and lightly sat on it. No matter how lightly you thought you sat on it, he was startled awake as if 10 lb. rocks were slammed next to him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked without opening his eyes well enough to clearly see you. 

"I'm horny and you weren't answering my text or call" you whine.

"That doesn't mean to just come over I told you the key is for-"

"emergencies" you both chanted, Yugyeom seriously while you were sarcastic.

"come on just this one time I used it for a non emergency, it won't happen again"

"so…?”

"Do you have a schedule today?"

"No" he said curtly.

"Good cause I wanna ride your face"

He rolled his eyes and said "why would I let you ride my face after waking me up this early." 

"Come on I have work at 1 and it's already 11:30"

"Beg for it and I might let you"

You pussy throbbed as you watched Yugyeom take off his shirt and pants. "Please Yugyeom, let me ride your face please " you pathetically begged. He was very much into making you beg for anything you wanted him to do to you. You knew that he was going to agree because he liked eating you out as much as you liked being eaten out.

He chuckled and was getting turned on so he allowed you to position your clothed pussy over his face. He breathed your scent in and almost came from that alone. He started to lap at your clit through your underwear and did it so expertly that you didn't understand how he had been asleep a few minutes ago. 

His hair was very messy but fluffy and you took the chance to pull at his hair and gauge his reaction this early in the morning, as you two hadn't ever hooked up this early in the morning. He groaned and moved your panties to have access to you with no fabric between his lips and your pussy. He started sucking on your clit and tongue fucking your hole.

You quickly got up and took your underwear all the way off and sat back on his face this time pressing your center on his mouth directly instead of him leading you there. “You taste so good” he spoke into your pussy and the vibration from his talking was driving you crazy. He started to hum which had you on the verge of coming in the beginning. Yugyeom knew how you got with vibrations on your clit so you knew he was doing it on purpose. You grabbed onto his hair again and pulled whenever he had you feel so good with his sucking on your clit and probing with his tongue as if he was digging for gold in your pussy.

"I'm gonna come" you said as your vision became blurred.

He entered a finger inside you while continuing to suck and lap at your clit wanting nothing more than to watch you come on his tongue. "Come for me baby" he groaned as he jerked himself a couple of times and then continued to rub on your ass and hips. Your hearing was distant, vision went completely blank, and you couldn't control your actions and you came on his tongue the hardest you had ever come before.

"Does that feel good?" he asked as he was still moving his fingers inside of your pussy. Yugyeom slowed his movements and then came to a stop, removing his finger, causing you to mewl. You swung your left leg over to the side to get off of him. You obviously knew that he was suffering while you felt good but you had work to get to work and it was 12 by the time you were able to catch your breath and rest for a couple of minutes. As you went in the bathroom, you knew that he was probably going to try and sneak into the shower with you for a quickie. That was fine with you though, as long as it was actually quick.

#yugyeom #yugyeom smut #got7 #got7 smut #yugyeom scenario

[im-yn-suckers]

cupids arrows; karma kicked her in the butt

pairing- not exactly enemies to lovers but along those lines. idol niki x idol fem reader park y/n (jays baby sister) (debuts in gg)

warnings- fake friends, idk how kpop auditions work so bear with me, light swearing, lmk what else

wow, proofread this time

synopsis- flashback as jay's younger sister in school, you and your friend decided to audition for hybe at the age of 14. when you pass and she doesn't, you get selected to join a survival show. when your and the one member younger than you debut and you don't, you are announced as the 8th member of enhypen. how does getting cheated on benefit the fact that you and niki aren't very fond of each other?

chapter one; karma kicked her in the butt

masterlist -> next

"we should audition!!" you screamed as you showed your friend, I-jun, your phone screen. displaying the announcement from hybe saying they're looking for people to audition for their new girl group.

''sure. why not? after school on monday we'll go" she said from her spot on your bed. she was sleeping over and it was a friday night. enhypen just debuted and everyone at school called you 'not-so-famous park kid'. how motivating.

you texted your boyfriend telling him all about it. he was the best boyfriend ever.

~

monday after school, you and I-jun walk over to the hybe building and wait in line. there was a crowd of about 40 when you two got there. the line got to about 100 people by the time it was I-jun's turn.

"Hello! my name is Hwang I-jun. i am 14 years old and hope to be able to work with you in the future." she introduced herself to the judges and began to sand a song in english, korean and danced. her vocals were good, they were stable but her dancing was something she could work on. she wasn't bad, but her vocals were very shaky when dancing.

"next!"

"hello, I am park y/n. i am 14 years old and i hope to become and idol just like my older brother." your vocals were like honey and your rap was so good. you had precision in your dance and nothing was wrong.

the other people lined up did their auditions and the judges went to the waiting room. they announced who passed the first audition.

"Ae-sol, Kim. Jin-sol Park, Y/n Park, Sook Lim, and, Eun Jung! Please fill out this form and give we will update you on when the next audition is within the next week or so. otherwise, you may go home! thank you!" you stood with your mouth open in shock and you felt I-jun's eyes on you.

"good job y/n. you did good, i should have practiced like you told me too. i guess i was just being a shit-head" she said, almost forcing herself to.

on the walk home, you were still in disbelief. you enjoyed the evening breeze and walked I-jun home. she was never that rude.

''don't you think one famous kid is enough? like why two? to brag? i mean, he's not that famous. he'll probably flop and end up disbanding" she was obviously jealous that you passed and she didn't. it was uncalled for and unnecessary for her to say that about jay

"i don't know but anyway, see you tomorrow at school. study for bio!" you dropped her off at her house and facetimed jay on the way home. he made you feel safe. despite his tight schedule, he always responded to your texts and calls. he was the best big brother and you wouldn't trade him for the world

"hey kiddo! how are you?" his voice was comforting and warm

"hey, im ok. how about you? how's life being famous and all?''

"its alright. have you done anything today? you don't usually call out of random like this"

"yeah, i wanted to tell you that me and I-jun auditioned for the new girl group audition at hybe. i passed the first audition, she didn't and she sounded really mad"

"now way! congrats! kind sucks that I-jun didn't. if shes being mean to you, tell me because i'll beat up anybody who hurts you. heh"

"Y/N!!!! wassup!! you passed the first audition? thats awesome!" jake was shouting in the background while all the members gathered around to talk to you.

"niki, are you going to say hi or something?" sunoo asked in his motherly tone, almost a whisper

"nah, tell her im sleeping" he rolled his eyes and walked upstairs.

"well, i gotta go jay. I'm home and i don't want you to hear mom and dad's 'happy' shouts"

"ok, bye kiddo! text me before and after the next audition! eat and drink water before i sneak out of here and force feed you"

"ok, bye jay! love you!"

"love you too kiddo" you hung up and walked inside.

"sweetheart! how'd it go? oh, i mean. welcome home honey."

"hi mom. i passed the first audition but I-jun didn't."

"oh. honey. i'm sorry. it'll be okay"

"don't be sorry, she said rude things about jay. karma kicked her in the butt" maybe she deserved it. you went up to your room and went to sleep. you had a bio exam tomorrow after all.

tuesday morning arrives and your phone is blowing up. tons of classmates congratulating you and a handful being rude.

after the bio exam, you had lunch. to avoid any interactions, you went to study hall. finally, peace and quiet. you checked your email and saw that hybe had sent an email confirming the next audition.

you texted jay, knowing there was a possibility he was busy. after school, you felt the buzz you were waiting for, in your backpack

jay big bro <3: hey kiddo! sorry i responded so late, i had dance practice. im so proud of you! you'll definitely pass. love you kiddo!

your shoulders dropped with relief when you saw jays contact on the screen of your phone.

~

the day of the audition came and you texted jay before you entered the building.

y/n: hey jay! i know you're probably busy being famous and all but i'm about to go in for the second audition. wish me luck! love you!

jay big bro<3: hey kiddo! good luck! i love you too! im so proud of you!

his reassurance was all you needed to push you into the doors of the audition.

after about two hours of evaluations, singing, rapping, and dancing, they announced who would go on the survival show.

"The participant who will be competing in "My High School Dream' is, Y/n Park!!! congratulations y/n." you were in shock and you couldn't believe it.

your first instinct was to text jay about it.

y/n: i did it!!! i made it! im going to be on 'My High School Dream'!!!!

jay big bro <3: hold up

he facetimed you and started shouting random things.

"guys! come here! y/n passed!"

the guys *unnecessary* shouts were all you heard. luckily you were at the park, sitting on the swings.

"congrats y/n -_-" of course. niki wasn't happy for you.

"thanks niki." all you heard was a sarcastic 'uh-huh' before jay came back after all the guys congratulating you

"i told you you'd make it! congrats kiddo. i love you so much. did anyone else make it?"

"thanks, i love you too. no, it was just me but they told me there would be 12 other girls competing to make one group."

"it'll be ok, kiddo. where are you?"

"im at the park. i was going to head over to Hyu- a friends house after you hung up"

"oh? who's that?"

"just a friend, uh. yeh"

"ooookaaaay. be safe. love you kiddo"

"love you too jay. i will"

your shoulders went up after accidentally telling jay about your boyfriend. he was the only one who didn't know about Hyun.

little did you know, jay texted your parents and told them to buy a cake quickly. he also mentioned Hyun. they told him who he was but that didn't matter.

when you got to Hyun's house, you greeted his parents and told him the news. he was so happy for you and after about half an hour. you walked home excitedly, unknown of what was waiting at home.

"SURPRISE!!!!! WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU! WE LOVE YOU!" they were waiting at the door of your house with a cake and banner in their hands.

"thanks mom and dad. i love you too"

you ate cake and celebrated. you received an email telling you where/when to go. school wasn't the easiest, but you made it for the week you had left before leaving.

taglist- send an ask or comment to be added

#enhypen fluff #im-yn-suckers #enhypen niki #enhypen fanfiction #niki ff #nishimura riki #nishimura niki x reader #niki fanfic #enha niki #niki x reader

[k-llama-llama]

Two Little Lines

Monsta X AU: 8th member

Zoey x Monsta X

A ‘maybe’ causes a lot of stress.

A/N:  Hey all! Thanks for your patience and if anyone else was affected by the massive storm, I hope you’re all staying safe

Requests are CLOSED…but your feedback is still super important to me.

Masterlist and other Follow Me links in bio!

“I think I’m going to pass out,”

“Okay, you’re being a little bit dramatic.” Zoey rubbed Seungcheol’s back. He’d been sitting on the side of the bathtub for twenty minutes, threatening to pass out.

To be entirely fair, her forced calm was mostly for her benefit, and she was absolutely freaking out on the inside.

“You’re 100% sure?” He asked for the eighth time. “You didn’t miscount or something?”

Zoey shook her head. “I have an app. It does all the counting for me.”

“Oh my god.”

“Once again, let’s just take some deep breaths.”

He sat up suddenly, nearly toppling over and into the tub. “How are you so calm? You might be pregnant, Zo. This is serious.”

She sighed. He was right, of course, and she 

“I know it is. But we don’t know for sure yet.”

When she’d woken up that morning without getting her period, she had finally decided to clue Seungcheol int

o the worries that had been on her mind for almost a week. She was rarely late for her period, and she had never skipped one. But here she was, eight days late. And it wouldn’t have been that big of a cause for concern if she wasn’t sexually active (and very proud of it). 

However, Seungcheol was taking the news of the possibility of her pregnancy with no small amount of shock.

“I feel dizzy again,” He declared.

“Well, stop it,” Zoey sighed. “We have to do a test, so we don’t know—”

A knock sounded at the door.

Seungcheol sat up straight. “Did you order food?”

“No,” Zoey scoffed. “It’s Changkyun. Come in!”

They heard the beeping of the key pad.

“Zo, I really don’t feel like entertaining right now. We need to get a test and take care of this.” Seungcheol stood, his legs looking shakier than Zoey would have liked. “How the hell are you so calm right now?”

Zoey shrugged, not really sure of the answer herself. “I don’t know. There’s no point stressing about something that isn’t confirmed yet.”

“You guys here!” Changkyun’s voice called from their living room.

Zoey hurried out of the bathroom, Seungcheol stumbling along behind her.

Changkyun was unpacking a plastic bag onto their kitchen counter, his hair tied up in a messy ponytail thing on top of his head. He was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, with his mask still pulled up over his face. Overall, he looked like someone who hadn’t planned on leaving their house.

“I got chocolate and stuff too,” He was saying, “Because I don’t really know the protocol for all of this.”

“Protocol for what?” Seungcheol asked, still not sure why Zoey had invited him over on a day like today.

Changkyun pulled a little pink box out of the bag, chucking across the counter to Zoey. “Pregnancy, obviously.”

Seungcheol glared at his girlfriend. “You told him?”

Zoey paused from opening the box (that Seungcheol now realized contained a pregnancy test), and looked up at him with wide eyes. “Umm…yes? We needed a pregnancy test.”

“But he—” Seungcheol froze. “When did you call him?”

“Like an hour ago. But I was kind of expecting it since she’d been freaking out about missing her period.” Changkyun turned to rumage through their fridge.

Seungcheol dropped onto one of the kitchen stools. “You told him before you told me?”

“He was kind of just along for the ride,” Zoey gave him an apologetic look. “I always let him know when I get my period and stuff. He’s my bestie.”

Unwilling to criticze his annoying but possible-pregnant girlfriend, Seungcheol turned to Changkyun. “I hate you.”

Unbothered, Changkyun continued to grab some snacks and a carton of juice.

“Great. Well, you two sort that out and I’m going to go….do this.” Zoey actually looked a little nervous as she retreated to the bathroom.

Seungcheol sat their in silence, contemplating all of his life choices as his girlfriend’s groupmate began toasting a bagel in their toaster.

Taking a swig right out of the carton, Changkyun studied him. “You know if she’s pregant Shownu’s going to kill you right?”

Seungcheol smacked his face into his hands. “You think I don’t know that?”

“And Kihyun….he’ll probably bring you back to life just to kill you again.”

Seungcheol screamed into his hands.

“Are you scaring my boyfriend?” Zoey emerged from the bathroom, going to wrap her arms around Seungcheol’s slumped soldiers.

Seungcheol grappled for her hands. “What did the test say? Am I going to die?”

Zoey gave a curious look. “That’s…not what the test does. But no, we have to wait fifteen minutes.”

Seungcheol groaned and hid his face.

“What did you do to him?” Zoey demanded, glaring at Changkyun. “He’s worse than when you arrived.”

“I just prepared him for the realities of what is going to happen if you’re pregnant,” Chankgyun suddenly clapped his hands. “Oh my god…when Wonho finds out?”

Seungcheol actually squeaked.

“It’ll be fine,” Zoey rubbed his back. “But you need to eat something, because I’m scared you’ll pass out. Kyun, give him half of your bagel.”

Changkyun froze with the bagel halfway to his mouth. “But I made this.”

“With my food,” She countered, snapping her fingers. “Let’s go.”

With a dirty look Changkyun passed the bagel over, where Seungcheol gratefully took a bite.

Zoey sighed. She would be the first to admit that this wasn’t ideal, especially she would be the person most affected by the outcome. However, being able to focus on keeping Seungcheol from fainting and Changkyun from stealing all of their food was a welcome distraction.

She didn’t even want to think about what would happen if that test came back positive. She’d never really been a planner, but she was so aware that a positive result would derail her life, at least temporarily. 

“I would be a very cool uncle,” Changkyun’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “Out of like twenty possible options, I will definitely be the favourite,”

“Twenty options,” Seungcheol mumbled, no doubt still thinking about having to tell Monsta X.

Zoey patted his back. “Perk up. We don’t know anything for sure yet.” She was half speaking to him, and half reassuring herself.

They passed the next ten minutes in a tense silence, broken only by Changkyun’s random comments (he was going to buy the baby a little microphone), and Seungcheol’s stressed mumblings.

When the time was up, Zoey returned to the bathroom, almost dreading the result.

“One line is no, two lines is yes,” She chanted under her breath, praying for one line.

She barely picked it up when two people barrelled into her back.

“What does it say?” Seungcheol demanded, reaching for the test.

Changkyun leaned over her shoulder. “What does one line mean?”

Zoey took a deep breath, the stress leaving her body. “It means no.”

“No?”

“I’m not pregnant.”

 Seungcheol let out a whoop and smacked a kiss onto her mouth. “I freaking love you.”

Zoey laughed. “That was stressful. Let’s not do that again.”

He shook his head quickly. “We’re never having sex again.”

“Ew,” Changkyun stepped out of the doorway so that they could leave the bathroom. Seungcheol skipped towards the kitchen.

Disposing of the test, Zoey followed after him, before she was yanked into a crushing hug.

“You good, Zo?” Changkyun squeezed her.

“Yeah,” She squeezed him back. “That was a lot.”

“You know I was just joking right? I could see that you were stressing,” He let her go.

“I know,” She nodded. “Thanks for being here.”

“Anytime,” He punched her lightly in the arm. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

“I love everybody!” Seungcheol shouted.

#kpop au #kpop imagines #kpop female addition #monsta x imagines #monsta x au #imagines #imagine #au #kpop #fic