#and we were friends through all high school so there's plenty of other little memories in my head too

[eri-blogs-life]

Stumbled across a high school friends blog and Twitter recently and she looks like she's doing well for herself and man it made me weirdly... nostalgic, but not for high school. Rather i felt this weird nostalgia for that feeling i had in high school of wanted to get to know her and a couple other people better. And like, i wish back then I'd taken more social risks and spent time with those folks in high school i thought were so cool and wanted to get to know better, but i cant make that bond now. We've both moved on, neither of us are those high schoolers who were friends but wanted to get to know each other better. Idk, it's a weird feeling i don't know how to elaborate on. But anyway I'm glad she's doing well (at least as far as an online presence can show how well someone is doing, obvs people do usually try and put their best foot forward on social media)

#i also definitely had a crush on her in high school #but so the big moment i remember #and we were friends through all high school so there's plenty of other little memories in my head too #but the one big one I'll never forget is i opened up to her about me feeling like i was strange for a way my brain worked #and she told me that everyone did that to some degree she thinks. and i... simultaneously felt a relief in that #and also felt even more embarrassed about just the mere prospect of opening up to anyone ever #we were just walking through the hall having run an errand after school for some project we were both working on #i think it was the prom outfits showcase fundraiser? doesn't matter what it was #and just that one hallway #and that one bit of our conversation #have been stuck in my memory for like 11 years now #also i have a photo of us at graduation which is a real nice photo #and we used to hang out with a little friend group in the graphics room before school started and that was fun #she and hannah would talk homestuck a lot during those days #and after high school i finally sat down and read a bunch of homestuck #and messaged her on Facebook when some kind of big hs news dropped saying id caught up and asking her opinion on the latest trailer or we #and she expressed she wasn't really into homestuck anymore and hadnt read it for awhile #and i had basically just read it to have an excuse to talk to her lmao #also her twitter bio said she was using she/her and he/him pronouns lately and like i stuck with just she here for simplicity but like #hell yeah dude. trans solidarity. i am glad he also found ways to be more comfortable in his body and presentation since high school #speaking of presentation from what Twitter scrolling i did her fashion game is on point. like real bowling alley in the 90s or clown vibes #love it #anyway i said my piece. im off to sleep way too late. hope y'all are sleeping well #eri blogs life

[seravphs]

losing faith —

ੈ♡˳·˖✶ — SUNA x FEM READER

You and Suna reminisce on your adulthoods.

wc — 1k

tags — angst about everything but each other, Suna and you comfort each other

"What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Kita's getting married," you both say in perfect unison.

That breaks the awkward tension of Suna finding you crying your eyes out at a random bar in Hyogo. He sits down at your booth as if you haven't been zero contact with each other for five years.

"Didn't you have a crush on him in high school?"

"Suna, honest to god, what is wrong with you?" You snap.

He lifts his hands defensively. "Well, didn't you?"

"Even if I did, why would you ask me that right after we acknowledged that he's getting married?"

Suna makes a face like he's suddenly come face to face with his own insensitivity and doesn't like it. You suppose it's an easy slip up for him. He was always easygoing, even in high school, and he seems like the type to be able to pick up right where he left off. You wouldn't know, since you haven't talked to him, but you can imagine him acting like nothing's changed.

"It's fine," you tell him before he can apologize. "I don't have a crush on him anymore."

He makes a doubtful face. "You were really obsessed with him in high school. Remember when you made me sneak chocolates into his locker?"

"That was more than ten years ago," you laugh, secretly touched he remembers. You're warmed by the memory of him actually agreeing to do it, even though he got caught. "I'm over it."

"So what's this about?"

"I guess I'm just a little sad about marriage in general. Kita's always been the best of us, you know-"

"Understatement," he snorts.

"I feel like I'm behind."

"Oh, me too. In general, right?"

"I just broke up with my ex."

He gives you a piercing look. It makes you uncomfortable, like he's forcibly trying to peel back the layers of all the ways you've changed since he's last seen you.

"There's plenty of fish in the sea. You're a pretty girl, what are you worried about? You'll find someone eventually."

It's too soon after just meeting him again to tell him what you really think, that you're broken. That you're unlovable. That you just passed your thirtieth birthday, and you haven't been able to keep a partner for more than two years. Instead, you redirect the conversation towards him.

"What about you? What are you trying to distract yourself from?"

"Got scouted for the national team again," Suna says.

"Fuck you."

Halfway through lifting his glass to his lips, he gives you an affronted look. "What for?"

"You tried to make me feel like we were comrades! Whole time I'm crying about my wasted life and you're at the pinnacle of success for you career. Fuck you for making me feel like you understood."

You're half joking, half not. It sucks to scroll past your Instagram feed and see Atsumu jetting across the world or Osamu's third restaurant opening while you can't figure out what you're going to make for dinner that night. Suna's life is also a sore spot for you, in that way. It's hard not to compare yourself to them.

Suna rolls his eyes. "If you let me finish, I was going to say that I'm thinking about turning it down."

You're too shocked to remember you're thirty, not thirteen. You reach across the table and slap Suna across the shoulder lately, like the old friends you could have been if you kept in touch. Or like the friends you had been, the specter of the past reanimating itself through you.

"You can't! You've always wanted to play on the national team. Suna, that's your dream! Do you know how many people would kill for that opportunity?"

"Mama really wants grandkids," he says, playing with the napkin on the table. "I want to give her that before she goes. She wants to see me settle down with a nice girl, and I can't do that if I spend all my time on the court."

"But your career..."

Adulthood feels like heartbreak after heartbreak. Not just yours, but Suna's too. Every story you hear from your friends feels personal, because it is. Those same sorrows will come for you soon enough. They come for everyone.

The worst of it is knowing that you aren't special. That every single generation has experienced this pain. That your misery is monotonous and tedious and overdone. It doesn't mean anything. It's just painful for the sake of it.

"You don't have to give up on nationals," you say. "Is there nothing else you can do?"

Even saying the words, you feel awkward and stupid. You're sure Suna has already calculated every possible scenario that would let him keep playing. He loves the sport more than you can understand, after all.

"I'm kinda resigned to it, honestly," he says, so you immediately think he's lying and he's actually not resigned to at all. "It was going to happen eventually."

"Me too," you tell him. You've felt this way for a while, aching for the dreams that were once in the palm of your teenage hand, and are now impossibly out of reach. "I've been feeling this way for a while."

"Yeah," Suna agrees, a wry twist to his smile. "See, I knew we understood each other."

"It's a shame," he says, his head lolling against the cheap plastic of the table. You want to tell him to get up, that his hair will get sticky with the residue of the cheap beer every other miserable bastard has spilled here. How many other sob stories have been shared over this table? "I was just starting to feel like I was getting somewhere in life."

You had felt that way, too. Potential is always, in the end, just an empty promise. The older you get, the more you can feel all of the different futures you could've had slipping away from you.

Suna clinks his glass against yours, even though he can barely keep his head up now.

"Cheers to what could have been."

#sera writes #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintarou x reader #suna x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #suna angst #hq angst

[positivelyholland]

We need more of Maverick x daughter!reader 🥺🥺

Plagued by the Past

pairing: pete "maverick" mitchell x daughter!reader

genre: all angst 

warnings: borderline child neglect, death of a parent, school bullies, mention of a plane accident

summary: your dads been through a lot, but you still can't help but wish he'd pay a little attention to you

~~~~~~~~~~~

As you walk down the hall of your high school, you see the same scene play out before you for what feels like the hundredth time. Kids whispering and giggling as you pass them, snickering and pointing behind your back. 

You know what they're saying without even hearing the words. It's always the same.

"There she goes, little miss no one wants her, not even her dad."

Growing up with your father was tough. He was always gone, always flying. You spent most of your childhood in various military bases around the world, always the new kid in school. 

You never really had any friends, except for your dad's friends, who were all pilots. They would always tell you stories about your father, about how he was the best pilot they had ever seen. 

You were proud of him, but at the same time, you were angry. Angry that he was never around, angry that he never talked about your mother, angry that he seemed to care more about flying than he did about you.

It's been years since your dad, Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, was the hotshot pilot that everyone idolized. But his legend lives on, and you're the living reminder of his past glory. You try to ignore the whispers and the stares, but sometimes it feels like you're drowning in them.

You never really knew your mom. She died when you were just a baby, and your dad never talked about her much. He was always so distant, so lost in his own world of planes and flying. 

You remember how he used to take you up with him sometimes, how you'd feel weightless and free as you soared through the clouds. But those moments were rare, and fleeting, and now they're just memories.

It wasn't until you were older that you realized why he was so distant. It was because he was still grieving for your mother. He had loved her deeply, and her death had broken him. 

He didn't know how to cope with it, so he threw himself into his work, into flying. But you were his daughter, and he loved you too, even if he didn't know how to show it.

Your dad's never been the same since the accident. You were too young to remember it, but you've heard the stories. How he pushed his plane too hard, how he lost control, how he crashed and burned. How he came back broken, physically and mentally, and how he's never really recovered

He's still a pilot, of course. He still flies for the Navy, still takes to the skies in his F/A-18. 

But it's not the same. 

You can see it in his eyes, the way they're always distant and haunted. You can hear it in his voice, the way it's always clipped and cold. You can feel it in his touch, the way he's always pulling away, always keeping you at arm's length.

You don't blame him, not really. You know he's been through hell and back, and that he's carrying a burden that most people can't even imagine. But it still hurts, the way he shuts you out, the way he never talks to you, the way he's never there when you need him.

You try to fill the void with other things. You're a good student, and you have plenty of friends, and you're involved in all sorts of extracurricular activities. But nothing can replace the love of a parent, especially when that parent is Pete Mitchell.

Sometimes, when you're alone in your room at night, you imagine what it would be like to have a different dad. 

A dad who's there for you, who hugs you and tells you he loves you, who helps you with your homework and cheers you on at your games. A dad who's not haunted by his past, who's not weighed down by his own guilt and pain.

But then you remember who your dad is, and you feel guilty for even thinking such a thing. You know he loves you, in his own way. You know he's proud of you, even if he never says it. You know he's doing the best he can, even if it's not enough.

And so you keep walking down the hall, shoulders hunched, head down. You try to block out the whispers and the stares, the constant reminder of who your dad is, who you are. 

You try to be strong, like your dad, but sometimes it feels like you're just pretending.

Sometimes, you wish you could just fly away.

#maverick x daughter!reader #maverick x reader #pete mitchell x daughter!reader #pete maverick mitchell #x daughter!reader #mitchell!reader #positively holland #top gun maverick #pete mitchell x reader

[miela]

Shattered Memories • Chapter III: A Sense of Reunion II • {Peter Parker x Stark!Reader}

Chapter Genre: Angst (???) Chapter Warnings: Mentions of Substance Abuse Masterlist

↪ divider by firefly-graphics

VIDEO LOG #20 / 10 JUNE 2026

Hey (Y/N),

 It’s me, Peter.

It’s been almost two years since you have forgotten about me. And to be honest, these two years have been absolutely hell without you. I got a redo on life as most people wish for but be careful what you wish for I guess. I have a new life and it’s okay. I have friends from school but they’ll never compare to you, Celina, Ned, and MJ. I have two jobs and they pay okay. It helps with rent. I’m still out there being Spiderman, I haven’t heard anything about you though which I guess is understandable. I hope you’re doing okay.

I miss you….I miss you so much. In times like these, I know I could always turn to you, lay my head on your shoulder, and cry…you would rub my back, kiss the top of my head, and tell me that everything is going to be okay...because we had each other. I feel like I took those moments for granted even though I know I didn’t. I just really miss you. 

I hope one day…I could be in your arms again. I love you so much.

[END RECORDING]

I know who you are. 

It rang and echoed in Peter's head after you said it. His heart didn’t know what it wanted to do; stop and explode or race and explode. He looked at you with an expression he could only imagine was a mix of shock and anticipation. How long did you know? Is that why you came to find him? Because you remembered him? There were so many things he wanted to say, ask and do.

But before he could even react, your words knocked his cathedral of hope down to the ground just as quickly as it was built up.

"But I don't remember you."

And there it was. The catch. His heart dropped.

Of course, it wouldn’t have been that easy for him. Even though five years went by and that was more than plenty of time for you to figure it out with what little information you had, Strange’s spell was thorough and very effective. Peter wasn’t sure if he wanted to scream or cry or to crawl in a dark hole and whither away. He didn’t even know how to respond. How was he supposed to explain everything to you? How was he supposed to explain his reasoning for not following through with his promise five years ago?

He just looked at you dumbfounded.

You pressed your lips together and nodded slowly at his response of silence. “When going through the Avenger files, I saw your file. Funny how I recognized everyone else but I didn’t recognize you. Even funnier that we were partners in justice and crime fighting and I didn’t even remember your face. So I did a month-long deep dive.”

Peter never took his eyes off of you and you never took your eyes off of him. He could tell you were getting serious although your expression was still pretty relaxed. On the other hand, he could feel his jaw clench from his nerves making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

“I asked around. I asked Sam, Bucky, Dr. Cho, Ned, MJ, Celina…anyone who has a connection to you and none of them know who you are. Well, MJ and Ned said you come into the coffee shop a lot, but they don’t know you. See, memories can be erased from people, but not from algorithms. We went to the same high school, both were in the academic decathlon with MJ, and we had almost all the same classes together. We were both Avengers, we were a duo team because we have the same powers, I remember every single mission, Hell, I remember fighting you,” you continued with emotion in your voice that Peter could only guess was frustration. “But I don’t remember…you.”

Peter decided he wanted to scream. He wanted to scream and then tell you everything, but he had his reasons for not telling you.

“For five years I’ve been dreaming of this guy. I call him the Faceless Boy. I have dreamt of him every single night since that day five years ago. The dreams are more than dreams, more than that dream-walking shit Celina talks about. These dreams are memories with someone who is so foreign to me.” You walked over by him slowly and stopped when you were about three feet away and you looked up into his eyes. “When I snuck through your window today, I expected a different response from you after webbing me to the wall.”

Peter gulped slightly.

“You talked to me like you knew who I was. A long-time friend that you haven’t seen in a while and one you weren’t expecting to see for an even longer while. And then when we shook hands…?” You chewed on your lip nervously, almost like you were afraid to say the next bit. “For five years, I’ve had this hole in my chest, as if something was carved out of my life when it wasn’t supposed to be. I’ve tried to fill it with anything and everything and I failed every single time. So tell me why when we shook hands I never felt it so whole before. A simple handshake from a boy from Queens filled my emptiness like he was the missing puzzle piece.”

Peter’s heart raced as you spoke and looked at him with a desperation for answers, but he couldn’t speak. He didn’t know how to respond as you searched his dark eyes for answers. He didn’t want to lie to you but…he also didn’t want to tell you the truth. The truth is what is keeping you safe and what is keeping you sane. 

“I know you feel it right now,” you said. “The pull.”

The pheromonal connection.

Peter could feel it, He didn’t stop feeling it since he sensed you in his apartment, especially after the handshake. His senses were in a frenzy, he could only imagine how yours were, especially when you couldn’t even remember who he was to you. He pressed his lips together. 

“So tell me, Peter Parker,” you started again. “What happened?”

Peter looked deeply into your eyes and slowly brought his hand up to your cheek and gently caressed it before laying his hand on it. You leaned your face into his touch and closed your eyes. His senses instantly focused on you. Your breath hitched as you opened your eyes again to look up at his dark ones.

He wanted to tell you everything so badly. He wanted to tell you how he knew you like the back of his hand. He wanted to tell you that he knew your favorite things and that you couldn’t cook to save your life, and that you loved to dance and you did ballet since you were a child. He wanted to tell you how in high school you would viscerally defend him every time Flash Thompson opened his mouth and called Peter “Penis Parker” and how when you found out Flash’s real name you started using it just to piss him off and shut him up. He wanted to tell you about how MJ didn’t like him at first because she was afraid that the same situation that happened with him and Liz would happen to you. He wanted to tell you how you and Ned would constantly bicker over who was the coolest character in Star Wars and that everyone thought your favorite anime was Chainsaw Man but he knew it was actually Sailor Moon (and that you constantly argued that Usagi would floor Goku anytime any day and any era). He wanted to tell you everything about yourself and your memories until his jaw hurt from talking too much.

But everything in him told him not to.

“(Y/N)...” he began. “I-”

Before he could finish his sentence your eyes blinked rapidly and your brows furrowed before you winced and hissed. You held your head as you let out a noise of pain and Peter instantly pulled back. 

“(Y/N)? (Y/N)! Are you okay? What’s happening?!” Peter panicked.

After a moment you looked up at him catching your breath softly. “Yeah….yeah. I’m fine. Like I said before. Stark Stress.”

Peter called total bullshit on that. 

“What were we talking about?” You asked softly to no one in particular.

Peter looked at you wide eyes filled with confusion and concern. 

“Uh…” he searched his scatterbrain for something to say. “The…uh…Avenger Files? You were going to tell me why you were going through the Avenger files, yeah…mhm…”

You looked at him with a knowing expression. “Parker, I remember everything I said. It was a rhetorical question.”

“Oh…!” Peter squeaked. 

You rubbed your temples and smiled up at him. “You won’t tell me anything. That’s fine I won't force you. Whatever you did, you did it for good reason.” You leaned back on the table. “I’ll figure it out anyway. Just promise you’ll be honest with me when I ask about something.”

Peter nodded. “Y-yeah! Yeah, sure, yeah I’ll be …uh….I’ll be honest.”

“Great!” you clapped your hands together. “Now down to business. I didn’t just drag you here to interrogate you.” You turned to the table to avoid his gaze.

You were deflecting the situation. Peter knows because you tend to do that when you have felt like you came off too strong in a situation and your way of reacting was to pretend like it was nothing big in hopes that the other person would follow suit. At this moment, Peter was glad you did, because he would’ve done it if you didn’t. Especially when those Stark Stress Migraines seemed more like Parker Stress ones. Both times you guys made contact you had a strong reaction. It scared him and he wanted to know why. He wished he could have asked Strange about this, but Strange didn’t remember him and probably wouldn’t even remember the spell. 

He guessed that was his big sign to keep his distance from you. 

Later, he was taken back home in time for him to go out patrolling once more. He swung across the veins of New York City as he thought about the events that happened.

Today was a really strange day.

After your whole interrogation, you told him about your plans for the NAI and the scholarship that Tony had left for him. 

 “My dad had an actual internship and scholarship set aside for you but obviously it was meant for MIT. I changed it up a bit for your sake. So your last five years will be compensated and paid off tuition-wise and the rest of your time in school will be paid in full. You will also have an internship opportunity whenever you’re ready for it. It will be a summer internship so you can have full focus on it without any distractions, or you could do it during winter break. Whatever works for you.” You pointed at the holographic screens respectively. 

Peter looked at the holograms in shock. Tony was planning on doing all of this for him. He shouldn’t be surprised but he was…and was touched by it. And you modifying it to fit his needs made it all the more… meaningful. He did remember Tony offering him a grant when he first came to visit him but he thought he wasn’t serious about it and was using it for code to add to the stark internship.  

He almost didn’t take it, but you insisted. 

 “Parker, this was something my dad set in place years ago. Consider it a token of gratitude. He would want this for you.” you explained. “But I won't force it on you if you really don’t want it.”

Peter sighed when he stopped on a building to think. He hated keeping the truth from you, and he hated that you were suffering all this time because of your migraines. He remembered your big reaction to both times that he touched you. 

It was hurting you. 

He wondered if it would be the same for Ned, Celina, and MJ. Would they have a splitting headache if he got close to any of them too? The whole point of this stupid spell was to protect the ones he cared about, not cause them pain. 

He really, really hated magic.

He sighed and sat down at the edge of the building. He thought about what you went through in the past years without him. He had hoped that you would have been living your best life without worry, but instead, you were dreaming about him without knowing who he was, and he had to sit there and not tell you that it was him that you were dreaming about. 

It was best to just stay away from you all. Like it was intended five years ago.

He needed a distraction. He remembered one of his friends from school mentioning a party at his Fraternity House this weekend that Peter initially said no to going to. But after today he could use it. He took out his phone and called him.

“Parker,” Harry Osborn, chimed. “What’s up, my guy?”

“Hey Harry,” Peter greeted. “I changed my mind, I do wanna go to that party tomorrow.”

To say you were a mess was an understatement. 

You didn’t seem it though. You were working with Nika on the list of foundations and non-profit organizations that would be attending the charity gala that you were hosting in a month. You’re first act of Philanthropy would be donating at least one billion dollars each year to different organizations and you wanted it to be a well-rounded event but you were distracted by the recent ones that happened.

Nika could tell.

“(Y/N),” she said, folding her hands in her lap. “Are you okay? Did that Avenger boy do something to you?”

“Huh? What? No,” You replied a little defensively. “He’s harmless.”

“Then why do you seem so upset?” She asked with concern in her tone. “You were fine earlier.”

You sighed and rubbed your temples with your fingers gently as you closed your eyes. “Migraine,” you responded, only giving part of the problem. 

She sighed knowing that you weren’t telling her everything. “I’m going to talk to you as a friend.”

You looked at the redhead expectantly.

“You haven’t had much of a life since…well…since I first met you four years ago.”

You met Nika Eyrewolfe, back in the recovery center. She was in for substance abuse herself. Since then you guys have been great friends and been a good support for each other. When you found out that she had no place to call home or anything to her name, you got her a job at Stark Industries before she was promoted to your assistant. She’s done nothing but a great job at it. She has been with you most days since you became CEO. So to say the girl knew your life and schedule like her life depended on it was an understatement.

“You’ve worked yourself so much that your headaches are getting worse and worse,” she continued. “The only person you hang out with is Morgan, who’s ten years old. You haven’t made time for Celina, Ned, and MJ in forever. But you had time to get Avenger Boy.”

“He has a name,” You retorted. “Peter. Peter Parker.”

“That’s nice,” Nika replied sarcastically. “And who is Peter Parker to you exactly?”

That’s the problem. I don’t know, you thought.

All you know is that he was the cutest guy you have ever seen in your entire life. His brown curls were soft and silky on his head. His eyes looked tired but they were soft and kind. He had boyish features that only added to his softness. And his smile. God, that smile. It lit up his whole face. His black tee shirt hugged his muscles nicely, and his dark denim jeans hugged his thighs and legs in just the right way. You had to catch yourself from staring at him too long before it got really weird.

You stayed silent and leaned your head on the back of your chair.

“Exactly,” Nika stated. “Nothing. So, you should make time for your friends. I’ll clear your calendar this weekend.”

The thing was that Peter wasn’t “nothing” to you, he was definitely a big something. You were at least eighty percent sure he was the faceless boy from your dreams. And when he touched you…? You couldn’t ignore that no matter how much you tried. The way his hand was so heartbreakingly gentle on your skin as all your worries faded away for a small moment before the splitting headache came again. It’s not like you could tell Nika any of this.

But she was right about one thing. It had been a while since you hung out with your friends. You kept in touch with them in the group chat, but it wasn’t the same as seeing them. 

“Okay,” you gave her a small smile. “Thank you, Nika. What would I be without you?”

“I dunno, probably insane.”

You snorted in response.

Maybe it would be good for you to step away from everything for a little bit. Especially with how crazy your day was. You especially wanted to pretend this day never happened, crawl into the void, and scream until your voice was gone. You deserved to relax for a moment and maybe next time you make the impulsive decision to climb into the window of someone you think you know but you don’t…

You won’t.

~

tags: @riordanness @chrisevans-realwife @peterdarlingg

#peter parker x stark!daughter #peter parker x stark!reader #peter parker x silk!reader #spiderman #peter parker x avenger!reader #tom holland #peter parker #marvel #mcu #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #spiderman x reader #spiderman x y/n #peter parker x you #tom holland fic #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fanfiction #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker angst #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #peter parker x afab!reader #tom holland x y/n #spiderman homecoming #spiderman far from home #spiderman no way home #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman x you #mcu marvel avengers

[hyenahunt]

Obbligato: Epilogue - 3

Writer: Akira

Season: Winter

Characters: Ibara, Tatsumi, HiMERU, Nagisa, Hiyori, Jun

Proofreading: Remi + 310mc (JP) & Skyress (ENG)

Translation: Peace & hyenahunt

Hiyori: Someone like Jun-kun grew up with such an embittered childhood, and yet he could be transformed into such a "warrior of love" — You are the very reason for that.

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Ibara: Alright everyone, thank you so much for your patience! We've finished writing up a tidy little script, so please do give it a once over!

Tatsumi: Thank you. The truth is rather difficult to speak of, so a script is necessary.

Ibara: Isn't it just! Trust me, so long as everyone plays their part in my script as they should, then this shall be a resounding success!

HiMERU: —HiMERU can hear the cynicism dripping from your words.

Is everything all in the palm of your hand?

Ibara: A-ha-ha! ☆ It would be wonderful if everyone did as they were tasked this time around!

It isn't as if I have a grudge against any one of you either, after all!

I’d rather not hurt nor humiliate any of you right now. I won't gain a single thing in doing so.

HiMERU: —No, HiMERU doesn't think you meant any ill will by it.

Though you aren't kind either. Should you only treat others as if they were pieces on a board, HiMERU believes you will face severe retribution.

Ibara: I've already been facing that plenty, thank you very much!

I don’t know how you perceive me, but you should know that my plans have always gone astray somehow; there's always some snag or hitch that keeps it from going accordingly!

Just what am I doing wrong? I'd thought everything through, and yet it never went smoothly!

Oh, I should have never picked up His Excellency or His Highness in the first place! They're unmanageable!

Nagisa: ... Ibara, do I trouble you?

Ibara: I'm surprised you only ask so now! It feels as if I'm tossed and tugged around by you far too often in my memories, Your Excellency, especially as of late!

Nagisa: ... Sorry.

Ibara: Well, it isn’t something you need to concern yourself with. The benefits I've gained in working with everyone in Eden outweighs the headaches you've all given me.

Ibara: Rather, I'll simply account for whatever toil and trouble comes for the next scheme.

The same can be said about what happened at Reimei Academy. Though I failed to control everything and caused its ruin instead, so long as I don’t make the same mistake twice, I will remain as the Ibara Saegusa you are all familiar with.

Nagisa: ... It feels as if you're making the same mistakes as before, however.

Ibara: Don't interrupt me with needless remarks!

I worked behind the scenes of everything that happened at Reimei Academy, which kept me from having a good idea of the situation as it developed...

But no, not anymore. I have been involved with COMP from the very beginning, ensuring that I have complete control over the situation at any given moment for my own benefit.

Tatsumi: My, how greedy. Though perhaps I should be a little more so myself.

HiMERU: ... HiMERU does not wish to see you become similar to the Deputy Director, Tatsumi.

Hiyori: Fufu. Tatsumi-kun, you're never one to reject anyone, instead only ever accepting them for who they are. That is both your greatest quality, and your greatest flaw.

It’s because you accept and love just about everyone that everyone comes to love you.

But you know, each and every person has their limit, yes? If you try to accept beyond that limit, you'll only hit your breaking point and fall apart again.

Tatsumi: Thank you for the advice, Tomoe-san. I'll take it to heart.

Hiyori: No need to thank me. I'm terribly fond of you, as well.

Tatsumi: I don't believe we spoke to one another at school, though.

Hiyori: Ibara prepared a script in which I claim to have paid you visits at the hospital, befriended you from there and became fast friends, you see.

Though that's a beautiful and yet completely fabricated story with no basis in reality — I would truly like to befriend you all the same.

Hiyori: I've heard so much about you from Jun-kun. That's why long before I met you, you'd already earned my respect and love.

Hiyori: Jun-kun was a true menace with it, especially in the days when we first met. Any chance he got, he'd be going on about Tatsumi-senpai, Tatsumi-senpai, Tatsumi-senpai — why, I've heard about you ad nauseam.

Hiyori: ...You see, Jun-kun dearly regrets that he wasn't able to stop you from falling to ruin.

That in the time that the two of you grew apart to the point of rarely talking, you had been thrust into the very depths of despair. Jun-kun has grieved that, all this time.

Tatsumi: ......

Hiyori: That's why, even if it's not quite compensation for those regrets, he would risk even his own life to devote himself to me. So that he may put every effort into loving me, this time without looking the other way.

Hiyori: Someone like Jun-kun grew up with such an embittered childhood, and yet he could be transformed into such a "warrior of love" — You are the very reason for that. And so I've always thought that surely, you must be someone incredible.

Tatsumi: I don't believe I did anything in particular to influence Jun-san, though. Rather, all we did was drink tea and chat about trivial things with one another.

Hiyori: To Jun-kun, who lived in a waking hell, that must have been his one and only salvation.

You've had a greater impact beyond what you've always believed of yourself.

And Jun-kun is the very proof of that.

Jun: ......

Hiyori: Look at him now. How he'd detested the very thought of COMP, a plan intended to boost the image of the school that had tormented him so much with its system, and yet —

Jun: ......

Hiyori: He's reading the script in intent silence, and warming up so that he may boost the quality of his performance by even the slightest degree.

He’s such a diligent, earnest boy, don’t you think?

In order to perform as everyone wishes, he's pushed away his own misgivings. He strives to improve himself, all so that he may bring our fans even a single ounce more of delight.

Tatsumi: Yes, Jun-san certainly is splendid.

No matter how the world fell apart around him, he alone stayed the same.

Tatsumi: I should have reached out to him, rather than speak so patronizingly about what I thought I knew — I should have followed his example.

Tatsumi: I should have asked about his way of life and learned from it, so that I would be able to become even slightly better of a person than I was before; but it's far too late for such regrets.

I became an idol so that I could find a place to belong. A rather impure motivation, wouldn't you say?

Tatsumi: But Jun-san... More than I, more than anyone else, is walking that path with pure, genuine intentions.

I have a deep respect for him. Though he may have been scorned for being the son of a failure, I believe Jun-san must be the person who won most of all at Reimei Academy.

He is the only one who didn't lose a single thing. That is why even now he shines so brightly, glittering with all that he has gained.

Tatsumi: Ah, how envious I am.

[ ☆ ]

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#enstars #ensemble stars #enstars translation #hyenahunttl #s: obbligato #tatsumi kazehaya #himeru #ibara saegusa #nagisa ran #jun sazanami #hiyori tomoe

[satninroses]

Drunken Care | A.B x Reader

(A/N): First Austin request :-), Supa cute!! Hope you enjoy :-))

Summary: Austin takes care of drunk reader.

Pairing: Austin Butler x Fem! Reader

Word count: 1,083

Warnings: Drunk reader, throwing up, swearing, mentions of sadness.

The party had started somewhere at 4:00 P.M. At this point, it was almost 1:00 in the morning ad there were still plenty of people at his house.

You knew Austin from childhood. You were close friends from elementary to high school. He left about a year after your senior year to pursue a career in acting and you supported him all through it. Both of you stayed in touch after everything and talked practically everyday.

When he invited you to the party, you were eager to see how he was after all these years of chatting through the internet. You wanted to envelope him in a tight hug as if he was the one thing grounding you to this Earth.

When you arrived, Austin had pushed his way through the sea of bodies to get to you. This made your heart so happy. You had missed him so much that you couldn’t stop the cascade of happy tears from falling down your face.

You had spent the whole night chatting and catching up with eachother, reliving childhood memories, embarrassing moments, and so much more.

During your conversations, he would be invited to a toast in his name and to his accomplishments. You think there may have been 9 or 10 toasts. You really couldn’t remember at this point. All the drinks entering your system wound you up and unraveled you into a drunk girl.

You sat on his couch staring at your phone, which was upside down and backwards, waiting for him to get back from grabbing a few snacks. While he had drunk to his toasts, he could obviously handle his alcohol better than you could.

“Hey (Y/N). You doing ok?” He placed his hand on the small of your back to get your attention. You sluggishly turned your head to gaze into his pretty eyes. How were they so pretty? How was he so pretty?

You felt tears well up in your eyes at the sight of him. “Oh Austin! I mmmisssed youu! I didn’t know what I was gunna do without you!” You dug your head into the crook of his shoulder and let yourself cry.

“Oh, it’s ok! I’m here now, ok? Don’t cry, I’m right here.” He pat your back reassuringly and laid a small kiss on your forehead. He stood you up to walk you outside for some fresh air. This proved to be a challenge. Your foot- brain coordination was not on point due to your intoxication. You stumbled a bit before finally gripping his shirt and the wall. “Where are we going,” you slurred.

“I’m just gonna take you outside for some air. Is that ok?” He continued to lead you out onto his back deck in hope of calming you down a little bit. You finally reached the back door and he unlocked it. You stepped out into the slightly chilly June night.

An extreme wave a nausea hit you like a cinder block. Your knees hit the ground and your hands rushed to cover your mouth.

“(Y/N)! Hold still i’ll get your a bucket or something!” Before Austin had the chance to stand up and go search for something to catch your puke, it was too late.

You let out that days meals in a painful manner. You were absolutely humiliated. While throwing up did somewhat sober you up, you were still to far gone to stand on your own and clean it. “Oh god. Ok, stay here! It’s gonna be ok. Can you try and make it to that lawn chair for me?” You nodded slowly has to not upset your head more.

For a full five minutes, you sat on the chair and stared at the vomit in embarrassment. “I threw up on his porch. What kind of friend am I?” You began to sob again. “What if he thinks I’m gross and rude?” A hand touches your back.

“I don’t think anything but the world of you. You’re just a little drunk, and we’re gonna get you back on your feet, ok?” Austin went around the chair and kneeled in front of you. In one of his hands were two Ibuprofen and a few crackers. In the other hand was a glass of ice water. “Take these, munch on these crackers, and sip on the water ok?”

You took the pills and swallowed them. You had taken a few more sips of water. He held an outstretched hand towards you. With your free hand, you grabbed it and walked with him back into the home and upstairs. He led you to a large master bedroom. He sat you on the bed. “Stay here, ok? I need to run downstairs.”

You sat alone in silence again for a few more minutes. He returned upstairs with your purse, phone, and a sweatshirt.

“I told everyone to head home. Said some goodbyes. I brought you this in case you wanted to change into something more comfortable. You can use the bathroom right here if you want.”

At this point, you were more sober than you were 20 minutes ago. Still not completely sober. You stripped off your dress and heels as well as your bra. You slipped the sweatshirt on over yourself. You grabbed a pair of his shorts from the laundry basket in the corner of the bathroom.

You walked back into the room and sat on the bed.

“Everything ok?”

“Yeah. I’m really sorry that I threw up on your porch.”

“It’s ok. Accidents happen.”

You smile at him and give him a hug. He wrapped his arms around your torso comfortingly. After some time, you let him go and stared at him.

“Do you want me to take the guest room?”

“No it’s ok. You can sleep in here. I’d prefer it too. That way in case you aren’t feeling well I can help you out.”

You laid your back down on the bed and let out a long exhale. “Thank you Austin.”

He smiles again and offers you a sweet kiss on the forehead. before laying beside you. “Anything for you (Y/N).”

You both maneuvered your way under the covers where you fell asleep next to Austin. While being one of your most embarrassing moments, you were glad to be with him again. That was all that mattered.

#austin butler #austin butler x reader #elvis 2022 #satninroses

[alexissara]

15 Years Of Love

Today marks my 15 year anniversary with my Fiancé. It means officially half of my life has been with them. I'm 30 years old now and when I was 15 we started dating. I was a freshmen in high school, I wasn't out, I casually might have said I was bi but I had not yet come to realize that I was ace, a lesbian, a trans woman, or polyamarous at the time. Nor had he realized he was trans masc gender fucky pansexual polyamarous sexy little goblin. They and I did not have the most clear start, as teens we both did and said plenty of things we wished we never said or did to one another. Still in 15 years we've every year become more of ourselves and as a consequence fallen more in love.

It is wild to think how radically different we both are from where we started and how our love and selves have bloomed. Being with someone as long as we have clearly shapes you. This kind of love is the kind of love where you become the same kind of weirdos in so many ways but we're still also very different people. We have so many layers of inside jokes, so many shared memories, so much life experience that it is impossible to really decipher us if you were a fly on the wall. It is such a joyful life to be able to live as silly as fucking possible together. We are two halves of a whole without being monogamous or dependent on one another, we date separately and both have very long term committed relationships with amazing women that aren't ending any time soon. It's like a Soul Mates AU if they weren't hyper monogamous where somehow we were meant to each other.

Our love story is funny too, we were enemies to lovers over a mutual crush. At the time they didn't know they liked girls and I didn't know I was a girl but we both had a crush on a mutual bi friend of ours. We met at a Japanese cultural festival both wanting to learn more about the culture sure but also both wanting to spend time with our crush. Neither of us particularly liked each other and in fact they gave advice to my crush that going on one date with me didn't mean we were dating and she didn't owe me shit. Which is so true, very true and also very funny in retrospect. We add each other on myspace, I had been pretty in my depression era we talk and talk from time to time about our mutual crush and about random stuff. I decide to ask him out and he says yes. From that showing of What Happens In Vegas, a movie which is a time capsule for sure we started dating.

While our goals and ambitions have shifted radically to this day my Fiancé inspires me in my art. Even back then I knew I wanted to tell stories and they were an apple of my eye always making me want to tell more. They always supported me in making art and telling stories and acting and everything I did and I always supported them in drawing and crafting and aiming for whatever goals they wanted. Our hearts and spirits always longed for making the world better in whatever ways we could and it's something we still do together.

While we may no longer be teens caught between Emo and Scene we still get to radically be ourselves together, to express ourselves how we want and encourage each other to explore ourselves, challenge our ideas about the world and expand what we know. At the end of this year we plan on leaving our home for the whole of our relationship Texas thanks to anti trans, anti LGBT and racist laws popping up left and right. While this anniversary is huge for us the future looks so exciting with us hopefully finally leaving this hell hole behind and entering a new era of our lives with hopefully more community, love and exciting discovery along the way.

I don't know where I would be without my Fiancé, they got me through all the worst times in my life, their a part of my DNA. I feel so incredibly lucky to have had 15 years with the worlds most sweet little gender monster. This love is always going to be worth fighting for to me and I hope I can tell so many more new stories that honor the love they've given me in my life.

[If you want me to spoil my gender gremlin consider giving me money on Patreon or Ko-fi ]

#anniversary #15 year anniversary #gay #queer romance #queer love #trans t4t #T4T #t4t love #Lesbian #RL romance #Romance #RL #Life

[thespiceyoops]

Better Than Boarding School

Chapter 8

Series Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female Harrington Reader

Series Summary: When a particularly destructive year of partying leaves your parents threatening to ship you off to a fancy boarding school your Aunt and Uncle save the day by offering to take you in and let you spend your final year of high school at Hawkins High with your cousin Steve. Much to the poor boys dismay you immediately gravitate towards Eddie Munson and his band of misfits. What could possibly go wrong!

A/N: Smut's here! Took a bit but I'm surprisingly proud of myself and really enjoyed writing this chapter, hope you enjoy!

CW: Smut! Oral (f-receiving) - We starting slow

Series Status: In Progress

Word Count: 4.8K

The little clock in the dash blinks 9:03 as he finally pulls into a parking lot in a small town about an hour outside of Hawkins, there is a small crowd milling around outside a grungy looking bar and you can hear a thumping beat already from where the van is parked. You cock an eyebrow at Eddie curiously as he jumps out, pulling your door open with a flourish and a bow. 

“Uh sorry to have to tell you this Munson but my fake ID was confiscated when my parents shipped me out here.” You cock an eyebrow at him, slightly worried he may actually have been banking on you being able to get in with it. 

“Don’t worry, I know a guy” He grins, slipping an arm around your waist and leading you to the entrance. You don’t exactly feel out of place here, you’d snuck into plenty of bars before but it had been a long several months since your last real outing and the memory of waking up surrounded by paramedics and your screaming parents sent a small shiver up your neck. Eddie's hand squeezes your hip and you look up to see him looking down at you, concern lining his face. “We don't have to go if you're uncomfortable” He says softly, stopping you both a few feet away from the crowd to face you. 

“No no, it’s not that.” You reassure him, shaking your head with a laugh “I just haven’t been to an actual bar in a while. The last time was kinda what got me sent out here. Little too much booze and too little supervision” 

“Well luckily we aren’t here for the booze and I am more than happy to supervise” You giggle at that and lean into him, pressing a quick peck to his lips and let him lead you towards the door. 

The bouncer looks down dubiously as you both approach, clearly not in the mood to bicker with a pair of clearly underage kids but his lips pull into a wide grin when he recognizes the shaggy haired Eddie, pulling him into a bear hug and pushing the both of you through with a loving promise to kick his ass if you go anywhere near the bar. Once inside Eddie is greeted by several more individuals, all of whom share his style and eagerly drag the both of you towards a booth to the side of the stage.  

“May I introduce you to Mik, Lance and Alexa, of Eroded Casket.” Eddie announces once you’ve settled into your seats

“Wait…” You frown, your brows knitting in a confusion as the group break into laughter

“Yep” Eddie grins, slapping the back of the taller man folded into the seat beside him. “Nearly beat the crap out of each other over the names at Battle of the Bands a couple years back. Luckily neither of us were any good and failed out immediately, we’ve been great friends ever since” 

“He just says that's ‘cause we sneak him into bars” The girl across from you grins, reaching out to shake your hand, her ring adorned fingers rattling against yours. “Though we’ve never had the pleasure of sneaking such a cute girl in with him before” 

“Not sure if I should be flattered or worried about his lack of game” You grin with a taunting side eye at Eddie, Alexa erupts into giggles as the boy rolls his eyes and gives your hip a playful pinch. The shorter man beside Alexa checks a beaten up pocket watch and jabs a finger at the stage area. 

“Looks like we’re on '' Alexa yelps and scoots out of the booth to scamper backstage. 

“So we’re here to watch your band's evil twin perform?” You smirk 

“Pretty much!” His grin falters a little “Is that ok? I figured ‘cause I ruined the last party for you I should bring you to an even better one.” 

“Hmm presumptuous of you to assume YOU ruined that party and even bolder to assume this beats a Hawkins-famous Harrington houseparty” You hold his gaze with a glare for just long enough to see a spark of anxiety alight in his eyes before letting a grin over take your cheeks “you would however be correct…. On the second one at least” 

He laughs in relief as the band takes their place on the stage, you don’t have anything to compare them to but you can only assume they are a very different type of band than their name-cousin when Alexa reveals a beautiful violin, absolutely stealing the spotlight with her bobbing auburn locks and swinging hips, her violin perfectly mixing with the taller mans guitar and vocals, occasionally she takes a verse, her singing voice surprisingly gruff for her angelic appearance. To say you’re hooked is an understatement and you realise you had completely tuned out your date when he waves a hand in your face with a laugh. 

“Come back Spacegirl” He grins as you turn back to him, sputtering apologies “Maybe this wasn’t the best idea for a date, though it wouldn’t be the first time I lost to them.”

“Can you blame me? Damn girl’s a siren when she’s up there.” You flop back in your seat throwing a dramatic arm over your face in defeat, peeking out under your elbow to see Eddie gazing at you with eyes full of laughter. “What about you? She ever catch Eddie Munson under her spell?” You ask, hoping it didn’t sound jealous or accusatory, he just lets out a puff of a laugh glancing over at the woman on stage. 

“Can’t lie I did have a bit of a school boy crush on her when they demolished us in the semi-finals last year.” Your heart tilts a little, you obviously couldn’t blame him, she was everything you found attractive in a girl but something about the way his eyes lingered on her prancing form stirred an uncomfortable possessiveness deep in your chest causing you to wrinkle your nose slightly. You quickly drop your face back into a neutral smile when he turns back to face you, his eyes dark and uncharacteristically serious “but that doesn’t hold a candle to the siren’s song you’ve caught me in” 

Your breath catches in your throat under the weight of his gaze, there’s a raw admission burning in the depths of those black pits that swallows the witty quip you had prepared to shoot back and drowns your senses until you’re aware of nothing but him. 

A sudden burst of feedback from the stage drags you back to the surface with a gasping breath you didn’t realise you were holding, Eddie smirks, placing a cheeky kiss to the tip of your nose before turning back to the band, hooting a friendly taunt at the guitarist who’d managed to step on his own cord. You reel your focus back in, desperately trying to slow your thundering heart rate with a chuckle, leaning into the man beside you just as a waitress sets two drinks in front of the two of you.

“Oh, we didn’t order these.” You pipe up confused 

“Courtesy of the band, Sugar” The young lady chirps sweetly, you look up in time to see Alexa sending you a wink. You take a quick sip of the drink feeling the smokey bite of liquor and grin over at Eddie who is shaking his head in mock-exasperation. 

“She really is out to get me” He groans “First she kicks my bands ass now she’s trying to snake my date” 

“You were the one who brought me here” You jab with a teasing grin as he sips his drink “How do the consequences of your decisions taste there?” 

“Altogether too sober” He grimaces, glaring at his drink. You frown and sniff the glass in his hand, the distinctly boozeless scent of cola hits your senses and you’re overcome with giggles as he shakes his head at the woman grinning at him now from the stage. “Damn harpy knows I’ve gotta drive you home tonight.” 

“Well at least she knows you are the one taking me home” You grin, downing the rest of your drink 

“Damn right I am” He growls, suddenly snatching you out of the booth, pulling a yelp from your throat and half carrying you onto the dance floor. You plant your feet unsteadily, the liquor tickling your senses and making the room dance around you for a moment. You feel Eddie's strong hand pressed supportively to your lower back and let him lead in a not quite-slow dance, the music a touch too fast and intense for a romantic sway he has you in. You catch Alexa’s eye over his shoulder and she shoots you another grin and a wink, having apparently gotten what she actually wanted, clearly taking great joy in Eddie’s jealousy. You can’t help the giddy laugh that escapes you and grip tight to Eddie's shirt, twisting the black fabric in your fingers and pulling him into a deep kiss, feeling his fingers clench tightly around your waist and his breath stutter into a needy groan. You smirk and break away as the music picks up, swaying into the beat and throwing your hands up, grinning in a mockery of innocence at the boy now shaking his head in playful exasperation. He takes a dramatically deep breath and joins you as you dance, meeting your body with his own and allowing himself to be lost in the music beside you. You hadn’t expected the strict metal head to have much interest in anything other than head banging but looking at the way he moves against you is captivating, he’d discarded his heavy jacket on the bench and the flannel is now tied around his slender waist, the chain swinging around his neck gleaming in the stage lights. Your breath catches as your gaze travels up his body, watching the muscles strain in his pale neck as he tilts his head back, spilling his long, curly hair back across his shoulders, eye’s fluttering under heavy lids as he lets himself relax into the music. Your mouth is dry as the desert and you have to actively remind yourself that there are other people in the direct vicinity to stop yourself from jumping the man in front of you with the absolutely primal desire that is blazing through your veins. You swallow heavily, caging your need and distracting yourself by focusing on your own movements, letting the music soak into your skin and dissipate your thoughts. Somewhere between seconds and hours the band finally concludes their performance, shouting a breathless goodbye and exiting the stage, you can see Eddie glancing nervously at his watch and make your parting words to the band quick and sweet before the two of you head for the door. 

Your head is buzzing with a combination of adrenaline and a touch of booze as you dance towards Eddie’s van beside him, his arm around your waist in a loose tether in case your heeled boots betray your balance. Humming what you remember of the last song that was played, you bring your date's arm above you to spin yourself in a very awkward circle, Eddie's laugh only spurring your chaotic movements until your toe catches a crack and you’re sent pitching forward. You are grateful for how predictable the misfortune was as his arm slips around you to stop your descent but let out a yelp as he doesn’t stop at simply righting you but throws you into a princess-carry with a loud laugh. 

“Oh come on I’m not THAT drunk” You grumble in a false pout 

“Could have fooled me with that near-nose dive” 

“Just testing your reflexes, just had to make sure there really wasn’t any booze in that cola of yours before you get behind the wheel” you giggle, throwing your arms around his shoulders and nuzzling into his neck. You brush your lips over lips over his collarbone and grin as you feel him straighten slightly, you can feel his heartbeat picking up where you’re pressed against his chest and can almost hear the mental fight going on between his fear of Steve’s wrath and the inevitable pull in his pants.

“Careful there” he warns with the hint of a smirk, his cheeks turning a delightful shade of pink as he shifts you slightly to pop open the passenger seat door and gently place you on the seat. You hum innocently, trailing your fingertips along the back of his neck as you kick your shoes off, pulling your feet under you on the seat before catching his eye with a playful grin. 

“Wait, what’s that on your key?” You exclaim suddenly, startling him and causing him to hold up his keys in confusion. In one quick movement you swipe the keys from his fingers and launch yourself into the back of the van, kneeling on the mattress with a wicked grin. Eddie sputters for half a second before clambering into the front of the vehicle, swiping at where you hold out the keys tauntingly. 

“Come on, what are you doing? We need to go home.” He laughs, trying to sound serious while also trying to tuck his long limbs into the vehicle, clearly not used to entering from that particular angle. 

“Nope. Don’t wanna go yet” you giggle, twirling the keys on your index with an innocent tilt of your head.

“I have to get you back before midnight or Steve’ll turn ME in a pumpkin” he huffs

“Then you’re going to have to hurry and get these keys back” You narrow your eyes at him mischievously, dangling the keys precariously on the tip of your finger over your cleavage. 

“Oh my god, you’re killing me” He groans, hanging his head and shaking his long hair in exasperation as you send him the most innocent look you can muster, biting your lip to keep from breaking out into a grin. Suddenly his head snaps up and you suck in a breath as the dark hunger radiating from his eyes goes straight to the burning heat between your legs, a sly smirk tugging at his lips as he leans back and shuts the door behind him. In a quick movement he’s launched himself over the seats and is crouching over you, the sudden motion causing you to drop the keys like you’d taunted, the cold metal making you gasp as it hits your sensitive skin. 

“Guess I’ll have to get those keys back” he growls, one hand encircling your waist, the other drags his index finger gently down your throat, your breath catching at the feeling of his calloused finger trailing down your chest. 

“Guess you w-will” Your tease comes out as a breathless whine, earning a grin from the boy as he kneels around you, your hands coming to rest on his thighs as he confines yours between them. You almost whine again when his fingers lift off the warm skin of your chest but lean into him as it comes up under your jaw, his thumb caressing your cheek as he pulls you into a hungry kiss. You deepen it almost immediately, parting your mouth and running your tongue over his bottom lip, wordlessly requesting entry which he eagerly gives with a breathy moan. Your hands work their way up his thighs, finding their way under his shirt and along the band of his boxers peeking up out of his jeans, you feel him shudder against you which only encourages you, tugging at his belt eagerly. His hand quickly snatches yours away, chuckling against your lips and clucking his tongue at you. 

“We’ll save that for later Doll, not nearly enough time for that and tonight is about you.” You gasp as he wraps one hand around both your wrists, pulling them above your head and laying you down gently on the mattress, his other hand slipping under the bunched fabric of your shirt and over the exposed flesh of your sides while he sucks and nips along your chin as you moan and squirm below him. He leans over you, one knee slotted between your legs, just barely out of reach of your aching centre, you buck your hips involuntarily pulling a chuckle from him. 

“E-Eddie” you gasp, breathing heavily, lust dripping from the way you moan his name.

“Yeah baby?” He murmurs between kisses across your chest “what do you want?”

“Please touch me, I need you to touch me” You gasp as his fingers dip dangerously along the bottom of your bra, your shirt riding up and exposing your midriff to the chilled air. 

“Since you ask so nicely” He growls, his long fingers sliding up over the lace of your bra and his knee pressing deliciously against your now-soaked panties, the delicious friction pulling a lewd moan from your lips as he works your breast gently. You arch into his touch, a breathy moan escaping your lips as your head falls back giving him unobstructed access to the soft skin of your neck. He eagerly takes advantage and presses his lips to the bare skin, dragging his teeth and tongue along the taught muscle, a string of breathless praises and curses falling from his lips.

“Fuck, the sounds you make are perfect, I’ll make you feel so fucking good baby” 

His lips begin to trail agonisingly slow down your chest as you ride his thigh, the friction taking off some of the edge as your arousal builds dangerously fast, the coil of hot tension twisting in your belly. Your hands strain in his grasp, still held tight above your head as he pins you beneath him, his free hand massaging your breast over your bra as he sucks a deep purple mark just below the neck of your shirt. Finally he releases your hands, bringing his to the hem of your shirt and looking up through his lashes with a wordless request, you nod eagerly, desperate to feel him everywhere. He makes quick work of your shirt and bra, slipping them over your head and leaning back, admiring your form, naked from the waist up in the back of his van, moonlight streaming in through the front window and painting you like the marble sculptures he could barely remember from his history textbooks. This time however there were no pen marks or scratched paper obscuring the view, just soft, perfect skin. You begin to grow warm under his gaze, his eyes taking in the curves of your chest with a deep hunger, you shiver slightly but whether it’s from the nerves or the chill the absence of his body on yours has left you don’t have long to question as he leans back down, reverently tracing his fingers over your collar bone, down between the valley of your breasts, across the soft plane of your stomach, stopping just shy of the lip of your skirt and teasing a desperate whine from your throat, his touch trailing fire across your sensitive skin. He leans down slowly, both hands cradling your breasts, his soft curls cascade over your chest as he kisses the plush skin and hums deep in his throat before flicking out his tongue across your nipple, a gasp escaping your parted lips as your hands grip the loose blankets below you. 

“You can touch me now” he chuckles, his words sending electricity through your veins as your hands fly up to his shoulders, caressing and kneading the muscles of his upper back. You paw desperately at the fabric of his shirt, pulling it up as he brings his arms up to allow you to rid him of the obstructing fabric. As soon as you fling it away he brings his body down on top of you, the feeling of skin on skin driving you absolutely wild. Clearly it has the same effect on Eddie as he moans on top, his hands roaming across every inch of skin he can find, his lips sloppy and desperate against yours as he presses his thigh between your legs. The pressure in your belly is increasing with every second, your breathing growing uneven and Eddie can tell you’re getting close. Suddenly the feeling of denim against your pussy disappears and you whine in desperate frustration, your eyes flying open to try to figure out what is wrong only to meet his blown out pupils and heavy panting. 

“Can I-can I taste you?” He asks, the question nearly sending you over the edge on its own. 

“God yes, please” you gasp, a wave of need causing you to arch into him, trying to chase your release. He grins wide before moving down your body at an agonisingly slow pace, placing kisses down your chest, capturing each of your nipples briefly in his warm mouth, swirling his tongue around each bud before moving lower, delicate pecks scattering your stomach and hips. His hands which had been keeping up with his mouth suddenly skip over your skirt and you almost protest until you feel them begin sliding up your thighs, his long fingers caressing the soft meat under the leather skirt, teasing it higher until it is bunched around your waist. His fingers slide slowly up the sides of your hips, dipping playfully under the band of your underwear, moans and gasps falling from your lips. Suddenly you feel them being pulled down your legs as the cold air hits the wetness between your thighs, you shiver and look down as Eddie meets your eyes, stuffing the panties in his back pocket with a wink. 

“I’m taking these” he winks as you blush and roll your eyes, trying your best to look nonchalant. Whatever witty response you were ready to reply with is stolen the moment his breath hits your aching cunt, in an instant he is on his stomach, your legs draped over his shoulders with fingers pressed firmly into the meat of your thighs as he dives in like a man starved. Teasing forgotten he swipes a strip up your slit, gathering your slick on his tongue with a desperate moan, his fingers gripping your thighs so tight you hope they’ll leave a bruise, you’ll be thinking about this moment in the dark of your room for a long time. The feeling of his tongue dancing around your aching opening sends waves of pleasure through your body, his nose brushing infuriatingly delicately over your clit. 

“M-more Eddie, please” You whine, writhing and bucking your hips up into him, you feel him grin against your skin, groaning at the sound of his name on your lips. You bite back a yelp as you feel his fingers press into your aching folds, swirling around the entrance as his tongue continues its assault on your clit. As he presses his long digit into your opening your hands fly into his hair, tugging harshly in your overwhelming need, the sensation undone something in the boy between your legs, a growl ripping from his throat as he presses his fingers in all the way, the cool metal of his rings halting against you sending shock waves of pleasure into your core, the coil in your belly tightening almost unbearably. His fingers fuck into you relentlessly, his mouth working the sensitive area around your opening deliciously and somewhere at the edge of your pleasure-addled consciousness you can feel him grinding hard into the mattress, his own pleasure at going down on you bringing him just as close to edge as you.

“Oh my god Eddie!” You moan, writhing under his strong hands, one hand laced into his thick curls, the other kneading your breast. You catch his eye as he glances up at you and your breath hitches, his eyes dark with desire, pupils blown out black in the dim moonlight, an expression of absolute worship on his face as he sucks on your clit. “O-oh Eddie!” You gasp, the sight pushing you to the very edge, you can feel your release building as you buck against him, fucking yourself on his fingers, chanting his name like a prayer. His grip on your thigh suddenly tightens and you feel him convulse, a gasping moan escaping him and you realise he’s cumming, cumming from just going down on you? Oh god, the thought is enough to send you screaming over the edge after him, shock waves of pleasure coursing through your body as your vision nearly goes white with ecstasy. 

As you slowly regain your senses, coming down from that incredible high you feel Eddie shuffle up the mattress to lay beside you, arms snaking around you to pull you into his chest, the both of you shaking and breathing heavily, soaking in the presence of each other in the warm after glow. 

“That was…” He starts, pressing his face into your messy hair 

“Fucking incredible” You finish for him, heaving your exhausted limbs over him, feeling his sweat soaked skin against your own and relishing in it. 

“Sorry I uh… well yeah” He chuckles, shifting his hips to avoid you leaning on the now damp denim. A blush creeping over his cheeks, only slightly embarrassed. 

“Don’t be, It was actually pretty hot. Does a lot for a girl's ego you know.” You smirk, hooking your leg over his hip and pulling him flush against you, sucking in a breath as the cooling wet spot hits your sensitive pussy. He barks a laugh, bucking his hips into you a little playfully. A moan escapes you, somehow already ready to go again, god what was this boy doing to you. His breathing deepens and you angle your head up, his hot breath fanning across your lips as you roll your hips over his again. 

*Beep, Beep Beep* 

You both freeze, confused for a second before you can see horror flash over Eddie's face, his already pale skin going whiter as he looks at the flashing screen on his watch, realising the, now very late, time. 

In a wild commotion of laughter and whirling limbs as you both scramble to get decent, trying to help each other get into your respective clothes, desperately trying to keep yourselves from throwing caution to the wind and tearing them back off. A small panic ensues when Eddie realises he can’t find the keys but the faint imprint of them on your ass as you lean over to search behind the car seat sends you both into a fit of laughter and he is able to locate them quickly in the ruffled blankets of the mattress when you had been laying. Finally you’re both clicking the seat belts into place and are flying down the highway, giggling and stealing glances at each other as you pull your hands through your hair, trying to tame the wild sex-hair, helping pull a couple knots out of Eddie’s long locks and making yourselves look somewhat presentable. The whole way home Eddies hand never leaves your thigh, his thumb tracing small designs into the soft flesh, etching the moment into his memory; you’re pressed up against him, smelling of sex and him, humming along with the music, your fingers delicately carding through his hair, soft apologies when a strand pulls. God he never wants the moment to end.  

The clock flashes 11:59 as the pair scramble up to the front door of the Harrington's, all breathless giggles and ruffled clothes. Steve greets you with a stern look that would impress his own father and a tight “Cutting it close there Munson” 

“He wasn’t the one that kept us late” You grin, wiggling your eyebrows at your already scowling cousin as Eddie puts you protectively in front of him with a nervous grin, the enjoyment of messing with King Steve tempered by the fact that he knows his approval actually means something if he’s going to keep seeing you. You expect a much more volatile reaction but Steve just shakes his head with a roll of his eyes and cocks his head to usher you inside. 

“I do not want details.” He groans, going to shut the door behind you but before he can you sneak by him and grab Eddie by the jacket lapels, pressing a sloppy, giggly kiss to his lips, his brain going fuzzy as he has to fight himself to keeps his hands from grabbing you in wildly indecent ways. You finally break away with a gasp and turn on your heels, darting past Steve. 

“See you for our next date” 

Eddie stands in a daze, watching your form retreat into the warm interior with a goofy grin and a mumbled “Yeah” before realising Steve is still staring at him, a teasing grin replacing the scowl as he chuckles. 

“God you’ve got it bad” Before closing the door, leaving Eddie alone on the dark porch. His step is light and giddy as he makes his way back to his van, stopping more than once to throw a glance over his shoulder at the dim light emanating from the guest room window, fighting the urge to climb the lattice and continue the date where they had left off. No, he tells himself every time he feels his self control slipping, there will be plenty of time for that later.

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

#eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x harrington!reader #eddie stranger things #fanfiction #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson x fem!reader smut #eddie munson smut #Smut #Fanfiction smut

[kittylover776]

In times like these, I wish The Princess Switch fandom (if there is one) would be much bigger than it is.

If you happen look past the fact that it’s a cheesy rom-com Hallmark Christmas trilogy, and dig a little deeper into it, you’ll see that there’s plenty of lore and backstory to explore that people tend to overlook/miss.

For example: It’s obvious that Margaret’s parents passed away when she was young, perhaps around her teenage years, although we don’t know exactly WHEN they passed, and if they died around the same time. I can only assume Mrs. Donatelli had to take on the role as a mother-figure and raise Margaret all on her own, which could also explain the close bond the two share.

Fiona’s life wasn’t so easy either. With her mother constantly away, and her father possibly neglectful towards her, she was half the time sent to boarding school with only Peter Maxwell to keep her company. As she gets older, she starts putting a wall around herself as to prevent from getting hurt, all the while keeping up a façade to not let anyone see past her, not even Margaret. Fiona even states that she’s the only family she has left, and although she tried to steal the throne from her cousin, deep down she truly cares for her, something you see a bit more in the third movie.

As for Stacy, Kevin, and Olivia…well, they’re also an important factor too.

Kevin and Stacy grew up together, having met back in high school and got each other through college, to eventually opening up a bakery. They had been best friends for years, and there was nothing they wouldn’t do for each other.

Even after Olivia was born.

It’s been implied that Olivia’s mother Karen had left when she was really young, meaning that Kev could had met her when he was still in college, but most likely never married. They had only known each other for at least two years at most before Liv was born, and wasn’t exactly expecting anything serious down the road (at least, Karen didn’t).

When Karen became pregnant, however, Kevin was ecstatic to become a father, and was hoping they could officially tie the knot in order to make it official, which his girlfriend refused, stating what they already had was good enough, and that no marriage certificate would make a difference.

Of course, Stacy had been skeptical about it, concerned if Kevin was making the right choice, to which he assured her he was, and that things would be fine.

Things however, were not exactly fine. After Olivia was born, her mother was not exactly the most involved parent, running off on day-trips and being uncomfortable with just holding her daughter, which you would guess left Kevin to do most of the work, and for a while, he did, assuming Karen wasn’t exactly used to motherhood just yet, and that she would get used to it.

Two years later however…that’s when he decided to draw the line.

Kevin had talked to her about being in their daughter’s life, stating that if she wanted to be involved, she had to put in the work. Things escalated quickly, to the point where Karen finally admits this wasn’t the life she wanted, and she didn’t want to be tied down by a family.

Later that night, Karen had left without saying a word, taking her belongings with her and leaving almost nothing behind.

If Olivia retains any memories of her mother, I’m not sure, but chances are Stacy was probably the closest thing she even had to one growing up, most likely having more memories of her than her own mother.

Now with Stacy, her backstory is a bit more vague. It was mentioned growing up, her father had taught her how to bake, which is probably what inspired her to open up a bake shop with Kevin as she got older. She had also dated a man named Paul 4 years until they broke things off.

Now, I’m not saying couples couldn’t be in long-term relationships until they’re ready for marriage, but perhaps the fact that their relationship failed in the first place was because it wasn’t as strong as either of them believed. Of course they were comfortable around each other, and I’m sure they did love one another, but perhaps there was a string of doubt in their minds that prevented them from taking their relationship to the next level, instead dragging it on and on (which could’ve resulted in Paul cheating on Stacy, also explaining Olivia’s “The man that broke your heart.” comment).

These are all the theories I can come up with at the moment. I may make some adjustments to them in the future (Kev and Stacy’s especially, since I’m still developing them), but they’re at least better than nothing.

I’m also in the works of developing an origin story for Frank and Donatelli, so you may see something about them eventually.

Anyways, thanks for coming to my Ted-Talk. 😁

#the princess switch head-cannons #Margaret Delacourt #Stacy DeNovo #Kevin Richards #Olivia Richards #Fiona Pembroke #the princess switch

[fizzingwizard]

Funny little thought.

From the time I was six till I was about fifteen, my family was entrenched in evangelicalism. From age 10, I started going to the school at my church, which meant I was inundated with religion six out of seven days a week. Only Saturday was free of it. And some days I would get religious lessons at school, go home, then go back to church, which was the school, for evening youth group and stuff. Looking back it just feels like a lot, but.

Somehow I still wiggled out of that mindset and I think a lot of my peers did too, tbh. After all, church is where I learned what different sex acts were and about homosexuality. Not from people saying how evil they were - of course there were plenty of adults doing that, but the kids were all totally unconcerned and eager to shock other kids with what they knew hahaha.

Anyway, there's lots I could talk about, but what I was thinking about today was pretty innocent effect of being required to think of religion and only religion as a valuable pursuit for such a big chunk of childhood. It was about music. I was allowed to read and watch anything that was age appropriate, regardless of whether it was "Christian" enough. My parents would have objected if there had been sex or homosexuality (or rather if they'd known there was those things >_>;), but for the most part it wasn't hard to keep those things private.

Music was different because I played it in my room. On a stereo. Without headphones x'D I did have an mp3 player which I took with my on walks, but the things I liked to dance in my room. Not conducive to wearing headphones. So I would blast music pretty much constantly when I was home. And my options for acceptable music were pretty much: secular music my parents had grown up with and couldn't see anything unacceptable in it, or Christian Contemporary Music (CCM).

Well, I didn't hate my parents' favorite bands, but they weren't very now. So my favorite musicians were artists no one but my best friend had ever heard of. He and I would belt their songs whenever we felt like it, so just imagine two nerdy kids biking up and down the road screeching "JESUS IS THE WAY THE TRUTH THE LIGHT" off-key because we keep going in and out of each other's ear shot xP

These were some of my favorite artists:

Point of Grace

Third Day

Avalon

Rachael Lampa

Casting Crowns

MercyMe

Skillet

Steven Curtis Chapman

ZoeGirl

Rebecca St James

Mark Schultz

V*enna

And so many more that I've forgotten. And I loved them whole-heartedly. I just went through the wikis for some early 2000s WOW Music CDs and literally my heart clenched with nostalgia seeing some of the song titles and artist names that I haven't thought about in so long. It brought back an era of my life that I feel so out of touch with now. It's not that I miss it exactly, but I suppose I miss that naivete and security I had at that age, which was mostly due to being a kid with a pretty decent childhood. It's similar nostalgia that I feel when I think back on high school, or non-school memories before that.

Music gets so wrapped up with memory that no matter what, I can't dislike these CCM artists. Nor can I forget about them. I still listen to a few favorites, especially songs by Point of Grace, which seems like such a weird group to become the favorite of a 10 year old, but me and my best friend were obsessed, like obsessed with them at that age. Bought ever album and knew all the words.

When I listen to those CCM songs now, as an adult, a lot of them don't hold up. We used to get told that "Christian content usually falls short when it's literature or movies, but music is equal to secular stuff." I don't think that's 100% wrong, but it's certainly not as clear a success story as we were told it was. My main beef is with the female artists, many of whom just leaned in so much on purity and abstinence, even while some of them pandered a lot to secular audiences. But it's not just the themes but the lyrics and music itself. V*enna, which as far as I know had only one CD, is just some of the worst music. I liked their album as a kid, but when I listened to it a while back I was just cringing. Really amateurish, so no wonder it didn't go far.

But there's a lot of fun to be had with CCM too, like Audio Adrenaline's rock cover of Little Drummer Boy which still splits my ear drums while making me ask "Why?" And there's the nonsensical conundrum of groups like Skillet or Creed, which some fans who only knew their secular stuff are stunned to learn they were included in Christian music stores. Or Jump5, a tween bobby group which sang about God, made money by putting tracks in Disney movies, and overall existed to make money.

Speaking of money. When I was fourteen, our youth group decided to start a band and I was a vocalist. The band only had one performance. You know why? The pastor at my church LEAPT on the idea because he thought we would get famous and... make lots of money for the church...?? Honestly, we were VERY amateurish, the lead singer I think was decent but very much did not want to be in the band long term, the musicians were so-so, and I was definitely so-so. But the pastor got involved and pressed us to be amazing and to have an amazing band name which I can't remember anymore and well we just flopped. None of us were into the idea but him. If he hadn't gotten dollar signs in his eyes we might've had a bit of fun, which was the only intention. But this was a pastor who was bent on his plan to make the church a mega-church and becime famous for his Idk pastor skills or whatever.

Back to music. So I do still love those artists from my childhood, regardless of how good they are objectively. But I got to wondering, what kind of music would I have been a fan of at that age (early teens) if I hadn't felt like secular stuff was off limits? I did somehow become a fan of Avril Lavigne and I am not even sure how that happened. One year my dad bought me Hilary Duff's first CD, which told me that he had no idea what my music tastes were or that we didn't even pay for the channel her shows were on so I didn't know who she was :P (But I appreciated the effort at bonding lol) That's much cleaner than Avril, at least.

Aside from Avril, I think I probably would have been a My Chemical Romance girl. Honestly, I probably would've been annoying into them if I found them at the right age. But I never heard "Helena" until this year. Fall Out Boy maybe, Green Day? Snow Patrol, Pink, Bjork, Nightwish are some groups I became fans of later, once I was out of the church. Best friend introduced me to Vienna Teng and Tori Amos. I like rock and metal now, but as a teen I didn't much, and I'm trying to think what was popular when I was in high school. I would go to the movies and not recognize any of the songs in them haha.

I just had the funny thought that I could have been so different as a teenager if I'd listened to different music... I bet I'd have been more emo or something lol. Idk, the groups that pop into my mind seem emo.

super nostalgia now whoa

/conversation with teenage fizz haha

#fizz's life #music

[jaxdaerthe]

Well, hello. I might as well have an introduction. I am Jarlaxle of Bregan D’Aerthe

You may know me as the opportunist mercenary who palled around with Artemis Entreri for a while on the surface of Toril, but it is a little more complicated than that.

I remember such adventures as I would have had if I remained on Toril, and not just through the books of that Salvatore person. They are like half memories, half dreams (which are fascinating and sometimes terrifying experiences, I shall have you humans know; now that I am here it seems Reverie is not as consistent as it once was). My personal lived experience of Toril shattered with a High Ritual in Menzoberranzan around-

Hmm, accuracy with numbers does not appeal to me here, so I will give timing on context. Young Drizzt was in school and Zaknafein was bored enough to be spending time with me when we all were cast out of Toril through some Cataclysm or another. We found our way elsewhere.

Earth is rather spider-free by comparison, so having made some resident friends, we are delighting in more blasphemy than I ever thought possible! While some spiders are hardly bothersome at all, it is a relief to be able to rid yourself of their presence if it sets you too on edge.

Hello to you all. This site is a delight, moreso than the other social medias I have found, as there are some good stories and art here. Myself is my weakness and there is plenty of delightful art here. Unless you count Zaknafein, which this site lacks too much in favor of Artemis; I adore Artemis, of course, but he has moved on to other things so I do not see him as often as I would like.

Consistency is impossible here, but I like a good scroll now and again, so maybe you all shall see more of me. Happy to be about!

#Jarlaxle #jarlaxle baenre #bregan d'aerthe #zaknafein do'urden #Zaknafein #Kimmuriel #Yvonnel #Gromph #gromph baenre

[jasperfei2]

Old friends

PhinFei fanfic!!

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*warning*

This will be a lot different from the HxH canon world, and this is my first fic so it may not be written super well.

It was a hot august day in York New city, though people were still bustling the streets, and you could hear car horns from miles away.

Up in a tall apartment building lived a short man named Feitan Portor, age 28 and five years out of university, he was looking to become a business owner, his dream was to have his own company.

He worked hard in mathematics and all kinds of science to become an astronaut, since it was year 2450, everything was super futuristic but even with all of the technology no one has ever flown out of this galaxy.

It was Feitan’s goal to do that.

The short man was in his apartment room, sitting calmly at his desk to do work on his computer, not feeling energized at all even though having three cups of coffee and a fourth one on the go.

He typed pretty fast on the computer, not even having to look at keys to do so.

His head perked up a little when he heard his phone buzzing but it was all the way over on his bed.

‘why didn’t I just leave the phone beside me…?’

He sighs and reached over to grab it while his body was half off his work chair, he managed to grab his phone right before falling to his demise on the wooden ground.

He answered and puts the phone up to his ear, using his shoulder to keep it up while typing on his computer still.

“Hello?”

“Uh, hey Feitan, it’s me Phinks.” The other person on the line said.

Feitan stopped typing and then grabbed his phone, feeling a bit surprised.

“Oh, hey there, we have not called in a long time…usually when you do something bad has happened.”

“Well…nothing bad happened, don’t worry, I was calling to say that I’m gonna be visiting the city and I was wondering if you’d like to hangout?”

Feitan knew he’d say that.

They were best friends through elementary school and all the way out of high school, they practically hung out every day, staying over at each other’s house and playing video games or listening to some music.

“Hangout?” Feitan asked, with his quiet, whispery voice.

“Yeah, we haven’t done it in awhile, y’know? I wanna catch up on a few things.”

Feitan leaned back in his seat, staying quiet for an extra moment, thinking.

He guessed he should say yes to the other’s request, it wouldn’t hurt to hang out at all, and the thought of catching up on things with him made him kinda happy.

“Yeah, that sounds good, we can hangout on the weekend if you want…I will not be busy.” Feitan nods, but knowing the other couldn’t see his nods.

Phinks was on his porch while talking to him, standing up and watching the rain.

“Seriously? Great! I’m gonna be flying in on Friday at noon, then I’ll have to fly out Monday morning.”

Phinks, age 27, lived all the way out in Oregon, living in a small town in the forest mountains, he was definitely an outside kind of man, going fishing every other weekend, same with hunting, though he worked a few jobs, he works as a mechanic engineer for cars, working in a calm auto shop, his second job was something else revolving around cars, which was a Body Shop and he worked there for plenty of years now, being the manager as well.

He also owned a few horses, using them to get around in the large land of forests, he usually ride them without any tack on, and the horses just knew the way home or knew all of the trail rides by memory.

“And hey you’re still dating that guy right?” Phinks asked a bit loudly…

Feitan frowns a bit at the other man’s voice.

“No, we broke up like two years ago, Phinks.” He said in a quiet manner.

“Oh is that right? Can’t believe I didn’t know that.”

Feitan slowly closed his computer.

“Yeah, uh, it was…hard, left me here to raise a kid, and not a single ounce of child support.” The short man mumbled.

Him and his ex boyfriend got a kid because they thought they would would eventually get married and have a life together, but Feitan was wrong, a few years into their relationship he learnt that the man wanted nothing to do with him and flat out cheated on him and left.

Feitan wouldn’t want to use the word ‘stuck’ but he was left with his daughter, Lin, she was only four years old, but even though she knew she only had one parent she was a really happy kid, she went to school, having a bunch of friends, she went on field trips, and her all time favourite thing in the world was having a father-daughter date with Feitan, he usually took her shopping, or go out to a restaurant, also to go eat ice cream, but sometimes they wouldn’t even go out and spend money, he would take her out to the city park and just walk around.

Though Feitan got too many comments asking if he was Lin’s older brother, he guessed people said that because he was just short…

Phinks stayed silent on the other line, but he finally began to speak.

“You have a kid?! Damn I know nothing about you now, man.”

Feitan let out a heartfelt chuckle.

“Yeah, sudden News flash is it not?”

“Definitely is, I do not see you as a father, but whatever.” Phinks laughed a bit.

“Well, anywho, I should get going, I’m gonna get flooded with calls of people who didn’t get their car fixed in time, I’ll text you what flight gate I’m in, I’ll also text you when I land.” He said more calmly now.

Feitan looked out his window and nods.

“Sounds good, talk to later Phinks.” He smiled a bit and then hung up, immediately looking up at the ceiling and smiling more.

He contained all his excitement during the call but he couldn’t help to let it out now, he was gonna see an old friend…

Friday, at 11:30 PM, place: airport

Feitan had got up in the morning to get a shower, do his normal skin care routine and get a little dressed up.

He was nervously waiting in the airport, glancing at at everyone who walked out of the gate, he didn’t know why he felt so nervous, he was going to see an old friend who he shared everything with.

He checked the time one last time before he lifted his head up and saw Phinks walk out of the gate, looking around for the short man, though he spotted him and they locked eyes.

Phinks stood there for a moment before hurrying over to him.

“Hey.” He smiled softly, looking down at him.

Feitan looked up at him and only did a half smile, though he was happy.

“Hey.” He said back, but before he could say anything else, Phinks grabbed him and pulled him a hug, a very sincere one.

Feitan was shocked and didn’t expect it but he slowly hugged back, sighing.

He could feel all of his tension in his body just wash away,

“This is new…I thought you didn’t like hugs.”

Phinks chuckled a bit and hugged him a bit tighter.

“Hm, well you have an exception.” He said quietly.

Feitan laughed quietly before letting go.

“Ok— ok, you are suffocating me.” He patted the others arm.

Phinks noticed he was hugging him pretty tight he he let go.

“Oh I’m sorry— I’m used to hugging normal sized people.”

Feitan raised a brow. “You did not just say that.” He crossed his arms.

The taller man let out a boisterous laugh.

“Hell yeah I did! I’ve been wanting to say that for years.” He leaned back a little.

Feitan just rolled his eyes and looked away.

“You are as annoying as a remember…” He mumbles.

“Yeah is that right? At least I wasn’t as annoying as you were back in the day, always picking at me.”

“You deserved it.”

“Whatever…well, how’s life in the city? Busy I bet.” Phinks said and readjusted the back pack on his back.

“It is, really overwhelming sometimes but y’know…how was you flight by the way?” Feitan asked.

“Ugh, it was awful, I was sitting next to a really annoying couple who couldn’t get their hands off each other, and we had to land the plane multiple times because of weather…longest ten hours of my life.”

Feitan let out a little laugh, nodding.

“Yeah I know what you are talking about it, I had a two day delay when I moved here like five years ago then a kid sat behind me and kicked my chair the whole flight.”

“God yeah I hate that, I would just stand up and yell at the parents or some shit.”

“I almost did that but the mom did get the kid to stop.” Feitan let out a soft sigh, looking back at Phinks. “Anywho, uh c’mon, I will drive you to my place.” He said and started to walk to the exit.

Phinks nods and didn’t hesitate to follow him, he still had a small smile on his face.

.

.

.5:30 PM, Only a few hours have passed.

Feitan had made Phinks supper but he then said that will be the last time he will do so.

Phinks didn’t mind, he liked making his own suppers anyways.

Feitan had made soup and he was drinking it, though he heard a knock on the door which made him put his spoon down

“Oh that must be Lin.” He stood up and quickly walked to the door, to open it and let his daughter in.

Lin smiled brightly as she walked in. “Hi dad!” She exclaimed happily and slipped her bag off her back.

“We had the funnest school trip! We went to the zoo and—“

She noticed Phinks sitting at the table, she has never seen him before.

“Who’s the man at the table, dad?” She asked, stepping closer to Feitan

Feitan shook his head a bit and puts his hand on his shoulder.

“That’s Phinks, an old friend. Phinks, meet Lin, Lin meet Phinks.”

Phinks leaned back in his chair and just waved, he never really knew what to do around little kids, he wasn’t ‘scared’ of them, he just avoided them.

“Hi little person.” He said.

Lin sheepishly waved back and almost hid behind Feitan.

Feitan chuckled and looked at her.

“Do not worry, he may look really scary but he’s not.”

“Oh, ok.” Lin said and nods.

“Here— come sit at the table with us, we’re having your favourite soup.” Feitan said and he walks to the table with her, helping her up on the chair.

“Oh and tomorrow, I am gonna be busy so I am gonna drop you off at grandma’s house, ok? She said she wanted to bake cookies with you.” He said.

Lin smiled again and nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah! I love baking with grandma!” She grabbed her soup bowl and started eating some.

“Yeah I know you do.”

Phinks stayed pretty silent, watching them, but mostly Feitan, he kinda forgot how nice the other looked, it made him feel a little more nervous now, and now he couldn’t get his eyes off of him, but once he noticed the other looked at him, he immediately turned his head, looking somewhere else, feeling kinda flustered and awkward.

His mind was racing a bit….did he have feelings for Feitan?

#hunter x hunter #feitan portor #feitan #hxh #fanfic #friends #lovers #phinfei #phinks #phinks magcub #long fic #first fic

[nolifenicole96]

In 27 years I’ve never once been in love. Never had a boyfriend. Never really had a real first date. I’ve gone through life alone for 27 years and I am tired. Don’t get me wrong, there have been plenty of guys I’ve been interested in but it just always seemed they were never into me. And the ones that were into me I didn’t feel a spark. They didn’t make me laugh and I didn’t find them attractive.

I thought I was in love when I was around 4/5. We’d known each other since kindercare and our families hung out all the time. I’m not sure what it was about Mikey. Maybe it was because we always ended up in the same class. Or maybe it was because whenever I was with him it was just fun. We were kids so nothing could get too complicated. Once I moved I thought those feelings would go away but they have always lingered. Sometimes I think about him. But I remember how happy he is with his girlfriend of 10+ years and the house they just bought together and I know he’s doing just fine without me in his life.

I thought I felt like I was in love again when I was in middle school. Specifically 6th grade. In world history I sat next non other that Frank. He was your typical emo/skater kid. We got along. Had plenty in common. And even went to the same after school program so we saw each other pretty often. We were so close in fact that in became a running joke in our class that we were dating. Now my memory gets fuzzy but if I know myself I have a feeling I would have gotten red in the face and then super defensive even though I would have loved nothing more than to be dating him. But I panic and think that that is the last thing frank wants is to be attached to me like that. Did that stop me from walking right up to him on Valentine’s Day in front of the whole class and giving him a Valentin I made for him? No. No it didn’t. Because I may have been stupid but I was no coward. But all that got me was a few “hi’s” in the hallways for the next 2 years of middle school as we hardly saw each other. We didn’t speak at all by the time we got to high school we’re eventually he left half way through for personal reasons. And with his untimely death a few years back I will never get the chance to tell him how much he meant to me even if he didn’t feel the same way about me.

And then there was Josh. As much as I would like to paint him as the bad guy I just can’t. The older I get, the more I realize I’m just a coward and if anything I used him in the end. It wasn’t love. It never was. At first it was a challenge. He had ever girl in middle school falling at his feet and I was willing to walk right up to him and tell him that “mustache” looks ugly and should shave. We both saw each other as a challenge. What he didn’t realize though was no matter how much sweet talking he did, it wasn’t going to get him any dirty pictures. I had an idea of what romance, relationships and love where and what we had wasn’t that. It scared me. He realized very fast that I wasn’t putting out so my phone eventually went silent. Then we got a little older. He said he thought of us as friends and I tried to believe him. But it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that he would only try and talk to me when he was in between girlfriends. So when I moved I thought I would finally let him go. But I was wrong. I had just come back to visit for the holidays and had also just got the news that one of my close friends had just died in a car accident on her way to see her family. I spent that whole trip with either a drink in my had or just sleeping. It’s like I wasn’t really there. But I was. And while I was I got a text from non other than Josh himself asking if I wanted to see a movie. For context he also knew this friend so in my mind he was asking so he could check up on me. I was wrong. Once I was in that car I knew I was wrong because he mentions about 2 minutes in that he broke up with his girlfriend. My stomach dropped and I didn’t know if it was from anticipation or disappointment. Needless to say we didn’t watch the movie. But even in my drunken stupper of that trip I knew better then to sleep with him. So came home with some dignity. After I got home I was bombarded with text after text of “when can I see you next” or “I can come to where you live now” or “we can make this work I swear”. I never once answered. I had a man telling me everything I always wanted to hear and I ran from it. Maybe it was because I knew I didn’t love him. Or because it would never really work. But either way I was a coward. So Josh for that I’m sorry.

I’ve had moments were I liked someone since. But they never amounted to anything. Mostly because I never said anything. And the one time it did since Josh it felt like a punch to the gut. Nothing hurts more then when that person knows how closed off you are, finally gets you to open up, only for them to just fuck you (and not that great if I might add) then say deuces.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. I suck at online dating. I have truly seen too much dateline. I’m getting to a point where I just think maybe I’m ugly on the outside and inside as well.

#dear dairy #writing #creative writing #dating #relationship

[kahran042]

HUGE batch of incorrect JCGTL quotes!

Deborah: You look just like I did at your age. Kiera: Please don't say that, Mom. (Source: A Goofy Movie)

Jonas: To prove you are the real Kiera, tell me something only the real Kiera would know! What did I write in your birthday card two years ago?! WORD. FOR. WORD. Kiera: Jonas, there's no way I would remember that. Jonas (hurt): I remember! (Source: Adventure Time)

Kiera: Strength isn’t your strength. Adorable cuteness is. Courtney: Can I use it to control others? Kiera: Um… yeah, sure! Just be righteous about it. (Source: Adventure Time)

Mark: Well, no rest for the sexy. Connor: That’s not the expression. (Source: Adventure Time)

Morgan: Uh, maybe we should hold hands? Lydia: … Morgan: For safety. Lydia: You’re absolutely right. (Source: Adventure Time)

Connor: (screams) Morgan: What was that?! Connor: I just thought about my anxieties and it's like my mind hand touched a hot memory stove. (Source: Adventure Time)

Brad: I'm responsible! Jonas: Me too! Brad: That's a lie! Jonas: It is a lie. And I take full responsibility for it. (Source: Adventure Time)

Adrian: If anyone tries to hurt Kiera, I will kill them. (Source: Adventure Time)

Chloe (to Justin): If at first you don't succeed, blame Mark. (Source: Animaniacs)

Jessica: Do you know who I am?! Jonas: Why, did you forget? (Source: Animaniacs)

Principal Mazlish: Students of Foxwood High School, I stand before you, because if I was behind you, you couldn’t see me. (Source: Animaniacs)

Connor: This coffee is nothing but hot bean juice! Morgan: That's what all coffee is. Connor: How could a member of my own family say something so horrible? (Source: Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Mark: Are you calling me a liar? Connor: No, I'm calling you an optimist, which is basically the same thing. (Source: Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Nate: Why are you all looking at me? Jonas: You're the idea guy. Nate: So I'm the only one who can ever come up with a plan? That's a lot of pressure. Chloe: You're also the complaining guy. Nate: That part, I don't mind. (Source: Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Connor: A cup of your best hot water with brown grit in it - unless, of course, by some miracle, your coffee shop has started selling coffee. (Source: Blackadder)

Jonas: Mess with us, and you will be mildly inconvenienced! (Source: Bob's Burgers)

Connor: as Morgan goes through his stuff Oh, no. I don’t mind. Go through all my dresser drawers if you want. Morgan: I knew you would understand! Connor: Stay away from my dresser. Morgan: But you said- Connor: I was being sarcastic. (Source: Doug)

Kiera (seeing Chloe's house for the first time): Wow. What an ugly little house. Chloe: Oh, yeah, it's not that palace of domestic abuse you live in. (Source: Family Guy)

Brad: I hope we put in enough baking soda. Kiera: 150 teaspoons should be plenty. Jonas: … "Teaspoons"? I didn’t know it was… teaspoons. Kiera: What did you think "TSP” stood for? Jonas: Uh…ten square pounds? (Source: Hey Arnold!)

Chloe: Connor's acting a little strange today. Morgan: Today? He’s strange every day. (Source: Hey Arnold!)

Jonas: The six of us are really good friends. We never get sick of one another’s insufferable personalities and irritating faces. (Source: Paper Mario: Color Splash)

Dorothy: If all the other kids jumped off a cliff, would you do it too? Brad: If that's all they were going to talk about afterwards, yeah. (Source: Recess)

Samantha: Thanks for driving me, Jonas. You're the sweetest big brother a kid could ask for. Jonas: And you're the annoying pet monkey I wish I never got! (Source: Recess)

Chloe: They'll listen to me when I introduce them to my good friend, Madam Fist! (Source: Recess)

Donna: crying Jonas: What's wrong, Mom? Are you picturing my future again? (Source: The Fairly Oddparents)

Mark (to Nick and Jared): You two don't do anything halfway, do you? Nick: Nope. We're two halves of a whole idiot. (Source: The Fairly Oddparents)

Jonas: If Kiera sees this, she's going to think I'm an idiot! Brad: And that would be news to her how? (Source: The Fairly Oddparents)

Brad: I feel like I'm doomed. Jonas: Well, you've lived a good life. Brad: I'm fifteen. Jonas: I said good, not long. (Source: The Fairly Oddparents)

Morgan: What are you doing? Connor: You mean with my life, or right now? Because the answer to both is nothing. (Source: The Fairly Oddparents)

Stephen: My dreams were shattered years ago. Adrian: How many years ago? Stephen: How old are you? Adrian: … (Source: The Fairly Oddparents)

Richard: I married the smart one! Monica: I married the… well, he's cute, right? (Source: The Fairly Oddparents)

Jonas: We got you, we got you, we got you! Nate: That’s not proper grammar! (Source: Tiny Toon Adventures)

Nate (about Chloe): That girl is the coolest dude I've ever met! (Source: Tumblr)

Jonas: Samantha asked me to hold her ice cream without eating any and I was like, I love you kid but some lessons you have to learn the hard way. (Source: Twitter)

#incorrect quotes #jonas corbin's guide to life #my ocs #long post #really long post #don't press the keep reading unless you have time to spare

[bryan-damage]

I once knew this guy who learned how to play Dungeons & Dragons in prison. He was an old friend of Charlie Inferno and a year or two after I graduated high school I talked to Charlie about starting a D&D group and he invited this guy, I'll call him Grag, and at the time Grag had never played so we went through the process of teaching him the basics and played maybe one session.

I don't recall how much time passed between sessions but at one point Grag and this other guy, he was also in the group, they ended up going on a crime spree. The local newspaper, this paper that ran for our little town of 13,000 residents, someone got it into their head to do a weekly column called "Crime of the Week", detailing the most interesting or worst local crimes reported by the local PD. Grag and this other guy discovered the Crime of the Week column and made it their mission to dominate the column so basically they ended up committing several months worth of burglary and vandalism before the police finally caught up to them. Evidently they were pretty successful at consistently getting their crimes published.

The other guy left town, spent some time living on the other side of the state, and vanished into the ether. Grag decided he didn't want to leave so he did his time in the state penitentiary. He'd spent plenty of time at juvenile corrections centers while growing up so I guess he figured it wouldn't be a big deal.

When he got out, he knew how to play D&D because he had gotten to know a guy who had recreated all of the rulebooks and tables and shit on piles of notebook paper, evidently just from memory.

Grag was a fucked up guy, though. He was weirdly obsessed with anuses. He was always talking about buttholes and feces and anal sex and coined the term "butt trunk" to describe an anal prolapse. I played in a D&D game with Grag for almost a year once and I'm not exaggerating when I say the guy was obsessed, because not a single session went by without butthole talk. One of the other members of the group was his cousin who we let DM once and he sent us to the Elemental Plane of Butt.

I don't miss any of that nonsense.

#bryan damage #grag the horrible #dungeons and dragons #prison #charlie inferno

[xanonymouscatharsisx]

Cw: depression, PTSD,

I don't know if I can share some of the recent details that bring this into my mind so fiercely that I can't shake it. PTSD is a trip, man.

What do you do when you know the why? Does it help? Does it hurt? I... Still don't know. What about the family secret? How does that affect everyone?

Part of my current situation leaves me trying to navigate what some of my limitations are, and how to work either with them to push them a little bit, or within them. For this, I feel like it's much more related to my ADHD.

Now, diagnosis for ADHD is pricey, and I'm broke af, so being able to get assessed is an obstacle, and I don't feel like I want to ask my doctor for meds unless I know for sure I need them. It makes me feel icky. But the nice thing is that I finally have the words to put to different... I mean, I'll call them problems for lack of a better word.

I've always had a hard time cleaning, or emptying the dishwasher, or getting distracted with something else. I've learned a lot about executive dysfunction in the last couple years, which I thought was mostly an effect of my depression, since it's so highly correlated. But other things, like object permanence, also seem to have a pretty high impact on me. The amount of times I lose my phone, or a pencil on my desk, or something else I may have even placed in a spot, just because I can't see it is astounding. I tend to leave specific cupboards in my kitchen open just to help remind me "hey you have food in here." Not even joking. Whenever I can own a house and have windowed cupboards is my dream, so that I can SEE things I need.

The thing is, I am so conflicted about a lot of this. Like, yay, I'm learning about things that are impacting my everyday life, many of them in a way that is negative, but I ... I also feel I shouldn't have to.

This sounds weird even in my head so bear with me.

I feel like had there been a little more compassion when I was a kid and into my teenage years, we could have had this figured out. I could have been learning coping mechanisms and hacks to be able to make things work for me. And it would have been easier to form those pathways in the brain.

Instead, I'm an adult, with depression severe enough that it has messed with my memory. This is part of why I'm unsure how reliable a narrator I am through all of this, and it's possible my reading of things is wrong, but I know I came out of it not unscathed. And while there are whole swaths of time I don't remember, like much of high school is a blur now, there are many that are seared into my memory.

I don't really know a good way to explain this. There is plenty from high school I remember. Some of it is good, some of it is bad, there's even some neutral things I remember. But there are definitely things I just plain can't remember, and the reason I credit my depression with this is mostly due to losing two friends within a year to su*cide and the following grief. After the second friend, there are a few weeks I just have no memory of, and it wasn't that long ago in the grand scheme of things.

Now, what does this have to do with... Well, anything?

Right now, I feel like I am very stuck in the grieving process. I very much see how I was failed, especially when it comes to this. I can also see at least some of the why, and I'll get to that a little bit later.

As I have said, I have always had a difficult time with cleaning or emptying the dishwasher, and plenty of other things. The cleaning my room was what put so much stress and tension on my relationship with my mom.

I don't remember any particular time, because there were just so many, and PTSD flashbacks do this thing where it kinda just blends them all together for me, playing back bits and pieces, but the one thing that never changed was how I felt in those moments. How I felt, I never had the words for, but I do now.

I felt powerless, ignored, confused, scared. And most of the reason for this was always the same lines from my mom.

"What is wrong with you?"

"I don't know."

"That's not a good enough answer!"

I was a teenager in many cases, and in some a child. Let me just ask, how the hell was I supposed to know what was wrong with me?

My mom labelled me a pathological liar because I wouldn't do what she'd tell me to do but didn't know why. Most of the time if it was something like the dishwasher, I just legitimately forgot, because I would be in my room, doing any number of things. I don't see the kitchen, I don't see the dishwasher, I forget. But if I was in the kitchen and was given a visual queue, maybe the dishwasher is slightly open, I'd remember.

My mom would openly talk about this in front of me, too. Not to like, my friends, but to family, and her friends, and if I was in the room, she wouldn't stop. I remember feeling so... Just wrong about it. How can you lie if you really don't know the answer? I didn't feel how I felt when I knew other people were lying, either on tv or in person. I just... Didn't know.

Being able to recognize these things for what they are... It's been incredibly difficult for me. Because the damage cannot be undone. While healing can happen, it's still an incredibly painful process.

Part of the reason this hurts so much is because I can kind of see some of the patterns of the why. Why I was failed.

Because that was the best she knew.

This one is hard to reckon with. It feels in a way like I'm letting her off the hook. But it also feels like I'm pointing the finger at her in a way that blames her again for putting the onus of breaking the cycle on me.

This is part of why I don't want this tied to my identity, but also for other people's identity. Because my mom was also abused, but not necessarily in the same ways.

I don't know a lot of the details about her childhood. I know certain stories like they would sneak out into the woods to make candy over a fire, I know her parents, my grandparents, were alcoholics. I know for sure at least one "family secret" that is awful as well, and we definitely have family that had been through the residential school system, but she was not one of them.

By the time I was born, there was not anywhere near the understanding we have of certain things that we do now. Mostly psychological, but I grew up in a time when it was believed only boys could have autism or ADHD or ADD or Asperger's (and yes I know the history of that name, but I'm just trying to give a little but more understanding to this time.) We didn't have anything like #MeToo to embolden people who had been SA'd to speak up, everything was just hush hush. Domestic violence... Gonna be honest here, I don't remember how much of an understanding I had of it then, but even now we still have problems understanding and there was a hell of a lot less learning about the victims and survivors side.

I don't exactly want to let my mom off the hook. While I agree, things that happened to her may well be much more horrific than what happened to me, but that doesn't mean any of it was any less damaging. She took a lot out on me and my sibling, also adopted.

I'm going to be honest though, I'm not sure knowing the why is helping me. When I look back and can recognize the places she could have done better, and broken the cycle of trauma, it feels unfair that the onus was put on me that young but with no help.

I shouldn't say "no help," exactly like that, I guess. At some point in me being a teenager, I guess I was being a super evil teen girl but I don't remember more than just not being able to clean something, I was threatened with being brought to someone like it was a shameful thing. Because that's how it was seen in those days, and for decades before. And yet, I was never actually taken to anyone to actually figure out what was wrong, so my mom just continued with the "pathological liar" story.

I will say, I don't believe now that therapy is shameful in any way, and the fact that I was made to feel dirty about even the thought of it also makes me angry since it just feels like another way I was failed. I'm in therapy now, and I'm pretty sure it's part of the reason I'm still alive to even try to tell this story.

I wish things could have been different. I wish I had a handle on life, or felt like I could figure it out. And to see the reasons I don't, and the many ways I've been failed and that the slack is left to me to pick up, it hurts. It's overwhelming. And if I'm going to be honest I don't know if I'm going to make it, but I'm trying super hard.

#mature #abuse