#and this week its like my vagina is making up for lost time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

triplesilverstar · 5 months

Text

Sand, it just gets everywhere

Rating: 18+

Pairing: Vash X F!Reader

CW: Fluff and Smut, Established Relationship, Pre-Canon, Flirting, Bad Flirting, Vaginal Fingering, Nipple Play, Biting, Scars, Scar Worship, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Penis In Vagina Sex, Hand Jobs, sand, Vash regretting his decisions

Word count: Roughly 8K words

A/N: Part 16 of the series. This Fic also has a special place in my heart as it allowed me to connect with two of my closet friends online, ShinTin and Creamson. They are awesome and amazing people. Plus the fact this whole fic started out as a tiny blurb about Snipes not wanting to get sand in her bits.

“Sunshine, are you sure we’re going the right way?” You try to keep the whine out of your voice, but after this long of traveling together there’s no way he didn’t hear the undertones as they left your throat. While you didn’t often question Vash on his sense of direction, both of you were usually in the next town after almost two days of walking across the desert planet, or at least whenever he’d suggest walking instead of taking a bus.

“I’m sure, Mayfly. We should be there in the morning.” He’s far better at hiding the exasperation is his voice at your question, giving you the side eye. “If it wasn’t for your terrible sense of direction you’d know that.” Oh he is never going to let that go.

“It’s not my fault I spent almost all my adult life connected to a network that provided navigational points for me to follow when traveling! How long are you going to hold that over my head?” Shoulders slumping and a scowl on your face as you trudged along beside him, the two of you had left the previous town in a hurry after you’d overheard the local sheriff talking about chasing Vash out of town due to his name. You’d never hold it against your depressed ray of sunshine but you’d been hoping for more than two nights after traveling for almost two weeks to catch and cash in a bounty.

“Until you manage to walk around a town without getting lost.” You let out a noise of pain and a long exhale at that low blow, he had tried to teach you to navigate, but you just found yourself turned around too easily. “It makes me wonder how you ever found any bounties you were actually looking for.”

“Before you I never put any real effort in. Just sort of ran into them and caught whoever it was. Made catching Brilliance Dynamite Neon and like half the Bad lads gang really awkward.” Smiling at him a shit eating grin on your face “now with you, we can actually ya know, track.” He’s giving you the side eye, a frown marring his features.

“Are you telling me, everytime we ran into each other was just a random encounter?” You can’t tell if he sounds angry with you or just upset.

“Oh no. You were a whole different case, I wanted to nail you to the wall so I hired people to keep me on track when I was looking for you.” You snort, and at the brief flash of something across his face start to worry.

“Nail me to the wall, huh?” Oh no. This better not be the start of another bad pick up line war. “Well Mayfly, as of late I do wanna make like a hammer and nail you all the time.” A long groan escapes your lips, eyes shut and head tilted back. You are really not in the mood to play today.

“No pick up lines! I can only take so much, and the desert is currently the limit!” You hear him chuckle leaning closer to your body and giving it a light bump.

“Is it a pick up line when it’s the truth?” You snort in response, but lean into him as his arm snakes its way around your waist. Or at least attempts to with your backpack on, so it’s more around the small of your back and butt if anything.

“Guess not.” Glancing at him he’s got a grin on his face now looking out towards the horizon and the slowly but surely descending sun, catching your eyes he gives his eyebrows a raise. “What are you really after?” You question, tone teasing.

“I was thinking, maybe when we stop for tonight we have a little fun?” You have to smile at his question, he’s certainly come a far way from stammering out an answer and blushing dark enough to make a rose jealous when asked if he wanted a hand job.

“Oh yea? What’d you have in mind, Sunshine?”

“I was thinking of you on your back, with me pounding into you.” You gawf at his words, that’s a terrible idea. You are not going to have sex and get a pounding out in the desert.

“Oh, I don't think so. Not in the sand.” His grin falls at that.

“Why not?” His voice is skeptical, like he doesn’t see an issue as to why you wouldn’t want to have sex in the desert.

“Because my pretty plant man, you seem to be forgetting something.” You’re glancing at him from the corner of your eye, narrowed in annoyance from the fact you have to spell out your reasoning. “I produce my own lubrication and you know what sand does to things that are wet? They stick to it.” Reaching down you press your hand to the one he has on your hip, squeezing his fingers.

“So?” His eyebrows are raised, a small grin dancing across his face.

“So, I'm telling you I don’t want sand in there. It’d be more than uncomfortable, and do you want to feel sand against your cock while inside me?” You're frowning at him now as well even if your tone is light, at the edge of laughter “it’s not happening. I’m more than happy to get down on my knees and suck you off though.” At that offer you wiggle your eyebrows at him, you do enjoy your oral.

“What if we put down a blanket?” He’s humming while he thinks, and you have to laugh at his suggestion.

“No. Still sand around.” Another laugh from you while he hums, fingers tapping against your hip.

“Blanket and my jacket under us?” Slipping his hand from your hip he gives your butt cheek a playful tap before sliding back to its previous location.

“Your jacket is still not enough of a barrier between my lady parts and sand, blanket or not.” His playfulness is making you grin, and the feeling of his hand briefly on your butt is putting a warmth in your core. Such a small action from him and you feel your body start to respond. Being in love sure has increased your libido.

“Well what if I was on the bottom?” That has you thinking for a moment, a blanket, his jacket and him? That could work, and the warmth in your core is spreading at the thought of him being under you. Humming you turn and smile at him, all teeth, nose crinkled.

“I agree on the condition that if once we’re going and I feel sand, I’m done. You won’t even get to use my hand to help relieve the pressure. I’ll leave taking care of that problem all up to you .” You want it clear your firm on this stance long before either of you is planning to get started that you want an out if sand appears, and the idea of him having to get himself off while you watch does do things to your own head. Maybe you’ll suggest it one night, just watching one another as they work themselves to completion. Oh or another idea, giving directions to the other on what they want them to do to themselves.

Sighing dramatically like it’s the end of the world he glances at you and smiles giving himself away “If that’s what it takes to make love to my beautiful Mayfly then I agree.”

“It’s in the desert, ain’t no makin love about it.” You snort, leaning closer to him “When you make love to me it’s all about emotions and sensual stuff, lots and lots of eye contact. I’m going to be too worried about getting sand in my pussy to be thinking about how much I love you, Sunshine.” At that a chuckle leaves him, pulling his hand away from your hip and stopping your walking to turn and face him.

“Ah” he’s cupping your cheek, and leaning forward to press a feather light kiss to the tip of your nose. “You love me, Mayfly?” You roll your eyes at that and press a mock punch to his shoulder.

“I tell you all the time ya dork” At his words you’re also smiling, not willing to pull away from his hand on your face or him just yet. Instead you reach up with one of your own free hands, thumb rubbing just under the edge of his sunglasses and against his beauty mark. “But since you’re acting so surprised and cute about it” using your other hand you reach up and move the hand he has against your face so it’s hovering just over your lips “I” a soft kiss pressed to the palm of his gloved hand. “Love” you press a second light kiss to where the fabric of his glove meets his ring finger, grinning at him. Before pushing his thumb into your mouth, giving it a light suck while your tongue teases the pad of the digit, pulling off with a pop. “You.” Eyes flicking up to his face you have to try and keep yourself from roaring with laughter, his own eyes are blown wide behind his sunglasses. A look of shock painted across his face, and a beautiful shade of crimson painting his cheeks and neck.

“I, ugh… I” he’s a stuttering mess in front of you, and you’re glad your mouth is hidden behind his hand because you have no doubt that there’s shit eating grin across it. You watch his throat bob and see the twitch of his jaw, knowing he’s counting his breaths trying to calm himself down. “I think we should get going, Mayfly.” His words come out as a squeak and you do laugh this time.

“Sure thing, Sunshine. We’ve got a little ways to go before we set up camp anyway based on how high the sun still is.” Releasing his hand and stepping away from him as you begin to start to continue to walk in the direction you’d both been going. The sound of rushing steps greets your ears, turning your head to see a still blushing Vash catch up and matching your pace. It’s making you snicker, watching him as he keeps trying to peek at you struggling to be discreet about it. “You know you’re allowed to look at me” a smirk fully in place as you keep walking.

“It’s not that” a shake of his head and he has your full curiosity now “I just don’t think you know how much you affect me sometimes.” Voice full of affection, making no move to try and hide his observation of you this time, and you find yourself raising your eyebrows at him. Unsure where he’s going with this because the fact you can leave him a furiously blushing, unable to speak mess, is a pretty clear indication how much you affect him. “I mean. Sure you leave me speechless when we flirt” that soft smile is across his face, the real one that isn’t the mask he puts on for other people. It makes your heart feel ecstatic in your chest as he keeps speaking. “It’s everything else too. You’re easy to talk to, sometimes about the most mundane things, like the color someone painted the inside of a saloon. It’s the way you listen to, you hear what I have to say and just seem to know when I need you to answer or just listen to me. Moments like that I know I have your full attention, and it’s been a long time since I've felt that.” Voice wistful you find one of your hands reaching out to intertwine your fingers with his, while you walk and talk.

“Or when we’re being chased out of a town” that sounds pretty familiar, even if you did leave before it could happen this time “not once have you ever blamed me for it. I know where we’re dating, some things are supposed to go hand in hand. It just means so much so glancing at my side and to see you there, right beside me. And when I feel like everything is crashing down around me, you make some stupid joke that pulls me out of that spiral, or you just hold me and let me break.” He’s pulling your hand up and gently caressing the finger joints not covered by your gloves with his lips, being careful as he slows his steps but keeps walking. “I guess what I'm trying to say is you affect me in so many little ways, that should be so routine, but to me they're anything but.” After that little speech, you don’t need a mirror to know you’re the one turning red, you can feel your face and ears entirely ablaze. “I love you too, my Mayfly.”

“Well Vash, you sure know how to make a girls heart race” lowering your hand, you can see the gleam in his eye at your words. Joy reflected in those blue eyes at being able to get such a response from you, but you need a bit of a reprieve from how much this is making your heart race in your chest. “That or you really really wanna make sure you get in my pants tonight.”

“Damnit, Mayfly, I was being serious” he drops your hand to make a motion like he’s asking the universe for help “you’re incorrigible sometimes you know that.” That pulls a laugh from you, reaching to hook your arm around his waist under his coat so there’s less fabric between your hand and his skin. Pressing your mouth to his clothed shoulder and leaning against him, steps uneven in the sand.

“I know Vash, I know. I didn’t mean to break the moment, but you were going to make me cry, and you know me.” He’s looking at you a little suspicious but throws his arm over your shoulders pulling you tighter into his body but still in a loose embrace. “I only know how to ugly cry.” He’s groaning, turning his head somewhat to nuzzle your hair with his nose before turning to look back at the horizon, as the two of you have been walking the sun is getting closer to going down. A rock formation not too far off in the distance.

“Let’s stop at that formation up ahead. I think we’re both a little too distracted to really focus on where we’re going.” You have to agree. Between the words you’ve said to each other you’re both clearly no longer in a hurry to get much farther today, even if it means you might spend another night sleeping in the dunes you don’t mind. As much as you might want a bed, that want will never overtake your need to be by Vash’s side. Need. Been a long time since you thought of being beside a person as a need. You feel a drop or two of liquid pass your eyes, and if he notices he doesn’t say anything, just keeps moving forward towards where you’ll both be camping tonight. “I hope all this seriousness hasn’t derailed my plan of us having fun tonight?”

That hauls you back to early and you wiggle your eyebrows at him again, sliding your hand down to pinch his butt, making him give a little yelp and jump “Oh yea. The only thing you need to worry about derailing this caboose tonight is sand on the tracks.”

“Did you just refer to yourself as a caboose ? I mean your butt isn’t that big Mayfly” After his little jump he went for a little bit of payback, letting his fingers trail along the nap of your neck.

“I was going with the rail theme, but I guess you missed that part” you shiver a bit glad you’re almost to the rocks, hoping he doesn’t comment on the blush on your cheeks this time. At the rate you’re going you are tempted to just drop to your knees then and there and start working on sucking his cock, like what you thought he was going to ask for in the first place. Going for a bit of your own payback you push the hem of his shirt up, letting your fingers creep along his skin enjoying the shake you feel from his body.

“Well if it’s a rail theme. Am I your conductor? Because I’m ready to bring you into the station” You snort your head leaning back and he takes advantage to drag his fingers along the front of your throat making you moan at the sensation.

“I guess so, because all you seem to have right now is tunnel vision” chuckling himself he dips forward to press an awkward kiss to your neck. More of a sloppy peck if anything but you still enjoy it. The embers that had been flicking in your core are starting to reignite, as you reach the edge of the rock formation. Disentangling from each other to have a quick look around. Finding a good spot you find yourself dropping your bags and setting up for the night, dusk approaching as you finish off a few meal blocks between the two of you. Telling Vash sexy times can wait till you eat, continuing to tease each other, so that when you are done, sitting side by side. You can feel the dampness dripping from your core, the bulge in Vash’s pants quite visible to your eye.

Sitting there you lean more into Vash, cheek pressed against his collarbone so you’re looking up at the bottom of his chin, letting your knee fall over and hit his own. The shadow of a smile on his face as he tilts his head to look down at you. “Hi.” It’s funny how out of breath he sounds, like he’s after running a ile instead of having finished eating a little while ago.

“Hi” you murmur back to him, turning your head so more of the skin of your face is in contact with his body. Slowly dragging your hand across your own leg then his, tracing patterns into his thigh before gliding it across his hip and starting up his chest, a soft whimper from low in Vash’s throat, at you denying any sort of touch where he wants it most right now. “Do you want something baby?” Tone teasing your hand is still moving upwards, towards one of his pecs, rubbing soft circles into the muscle.

“You know I do” not giving you a chance to respond to him, both of his hands move to pull you into his lap, manhandling your body so both of your legs are over his forcing you to straddle him. Shocked at the sudden movement your hands are flailing, grabbing whatever part of him that you can to steady yourself, resulting in one hand cupping the back of his head the other tangled in the collar of his coat. Using your hips to take control of your movements Vash is pressing you hard against him, grinding your body against his providing the friction he wanted to his crotch. “That’s better” you do have to admit whenever he takes charge it does make your core pulse with a delicious heat.

While it’s a bit of an awkward angle because of the way you’re both situated in the sand the contact does feel nice, the occasional rubbing of fabric against your lower lips causing you to twitch in his hold. With Vash taking control of the grinding you smirk, choosing to focus your attention elsewhere planting your hands on both of his shoulders and digging your fingers into the fabric pulling a hiss of pleasure from him. Leaning forward to start trailing a path of quick pecks along his neck, down to the edge of his shirt, once there you drag your tongue back up the skin and blow on it. You’re rewarded with a shudder from him, a hitch in his command of your hips against him, before his fingers dig in harder against your hips trying to pull you even tighter against him.

A soft moan drawn from your lips and pausing your movements, cunt fluttering from the sensations and your underwear is damp inside your pants. You go back to his neck, using your teeth and dragging them down his pulse point, rewarded with a low growl from somewhere deep inside him this time. You don’t stop at the fabric this time, using your pearly whites to drag the tight fabric down to reveal more of his pale skin along the hollow of his throat. Darting forward to press an open mouth kiss to the area, hands at the base of his skull drawing it back to give you a better angle. “Such a good girl you are Mayfly” with more of his skin exposed you hum letting the sensitive skin under your lips feel the pressure, while he groans from it. A harsh suck and he’s jerking his hands pulling your core against his own even harder, making you throb. “Keep doing things like that and I might cum in my pants.”

Happy with how long you’ve been sucking on his neck you pull away, thumbs keeping the fabric from rolling back up and hiding the blooming red breaking out against his neck. “Maybe that’s what I want, then I don’t have to worry about getting sand in your favorite part of me” you’re back to placing soft kisses along the skin of his neck, this time trailing up along his jaw and to the point of his chin. Enjoying the feeling of his quick exhales against your face, he’s panting hard, the occasional grunt sounding wonderful to your ears.

Tilting his head forward, away from your hands, his eyes are shining and fluttering unfocused as he stares at you “As much as I like your pussy, and how it feels wrapped around me, it is far from being my favorite part of you Mayfly.” His words send another pulse of heat to your core, almost a moment of calm before the storm as you both stare into one another's eyes. Even his movement of your hips against his has slowed, before your mouths are colliding, teeth hitting teeth clashing together before you adjust in the searing kiss. Hearing a whine you have no idea which one of you made it, and you don’t care too caught up in the feeling of his lips against yours. As you pull apart slightly you bite into his lower lip, just hard enough to get his attention as to what you want from him before he’s opening his mouth, both of you engaging in another kiss. Sweeping your tongue into his mouth, pressing against the sharp canines and the rest of his front teeth, the feel of the slightly longer teeth making you shudder. While you haven’t explored it yet, you think you’re starting to get a bit of a biting kink because of those two ivories in his skull, feeling more fluid seep from inside you. At this point your underwear is drenched. Pulling away you’re both taking deep lungfuls of air, panting and gasping against one another, Vash having slowed the rolling of your hips.

“Ready to move onto the next step handsome, from what I can feel your pants should be feeling pretty tight, pretty uncomfortable.” Nails dragging along the nape of his neck while he’s staring at you, a goofy grin painted across both your faces. The sun had set in the distance since the two of you started, the sky darkening just enough for the first few stars to become visible and you shiver, but not from the cold. Releasing his hold on your hips you push back away from him onto the balls of your feet, a little unsteady in your haze of lust shaking your head to reorient yourself. In that time Vash has unfurled the blanket he sometimes uses during the night and removed his jacket zipping it up and placing it atop the blanket before throwing you an apperceptive glance. Watching him, you see him give you a once over before looking past your shoulder at some, causing you to turn. All you can see are the rock formations, too thin to do anything with but lean against.

The press of a warm body behind you and two hands reaching up to cup your breasts brings your attention back to Vash. “Do you trust me Mayfly?” His mouth is right next to your ear, nosing along the shell of it while he waits for your answer, kneading your chest through the fabric of your shirt and bra.

“Of course I do, Sunshine.” Humming he sinks his teeth into your ear and you almost howl, pussy clenching hard around nothing. Yea you can tick that biting kink off on the list, damn, you were not expecting to almost have an orgasm from that. With him behind you, you reach your hands behind you to feel his hips and slide those hands back to give his ass a squeeze. Once your ear is released from his mouth he’s soothing the bite with the tip of his tongue, hands moving to slide your own jacket off your shoulders and tossing it atop both of your bags. Hands on your hips again and turning you to face him, slowly pushing you to step backwards until you feel the rock against your back. His mouth is seeking yours again, eyes closing you let him have control, just sliding your hands along his chest and resting against his pecs, slight circular motions pressing against him. A quick squeeze to one of your breasts and you moan mouth opening slightly, Vash pressing his advantage to slip his tongue into your wet cavern this time. One of his hands is trailing down your stomach feather light, until he reaches the belt of your cargo pants undoing the buckle one handed, fumbling a little before getting it out of the way and unbuttoning your pants, forcing the zipper down.

With some of the layers of fabric no longer a barrier his hand is quick to press inside, feeling your drenched underwear and finally breaking the kiss. “You said no sand right? That means being pressed up against a rock is fine right?” You don’t get a chance to answer in earnest before he’s pushing the fabric of your pants down to the midpoint of your thighs and lifting you up enough to rest what might be a third of your ass on a thin natural ledge formed in the rock. You don’t feel any sand pressing into the soft skin so you let him continue, body humming at the thought of what he might have planned for you. At this height his face is perfectly aligned with your chest, raising an eyebrow at him curious as to what he’s going to do.

His hands are tracing patterns into the bare skin of your thighs, the occasional pinch making you moan, your body is unsure what sensation to follow. With the chilled touch from his prosthetic occasional darting to your front while it palms your skin, or the blazing heat radiating from his flesh one pressing lower against your fabric covered core. This time you do know where the whine you hear comes from, your own throat, with his fingers this close your pussy is going mad, even the flicker of a touch is making you clench wanting to pull something into your core. “Please baby, I need more” and you do, you want to feel more of him against your skin and the teasing touch is nowhere near enough, ignoring the pressure of your hands on his shoulders unsure what it is you want him to do. His eyes are hazy as they look at you and he starts to lean down, and you feel a tremor of apprehension in your body.

The blond locks between your legs are making you sigh at the sight alone, moaning when you feel his warm breath against the soaked fabric covering the folds of your pussy, watching him, you clench as his head moves forward. And upwards, a much harsher whine passing your lips as the neglection of your desperate cunt, his hands still teasing the skin around the area. He’s got a mischievous grin as he looks up, taking a page from your own actions earlier and using his teeth to pull your shirt up, the look in his eyes sending another round of liquid from your pussy. Pausing in his path you watch his nose twitch, eyes flicking downwards, and his prosthetic is flicking your covered center making your head arch back in surprise. Humming reaches your ears and his head starts moving upwards again, his fabric filled mouth lined up with the bottom portion of your bra, flesh hand moving to hold it up. Why not do that in the first place? “Be a good girl, Mayfly, and hold this for me” Ah, that’s why.

Hand tentatively reaching for the bunched fabric you hook the edge with your fingers, rewarded with a brief kiss against your digits. “Just a little higher, I wanna be able to see both of those cups, my pretty lady.” Having an idea what he’s planning, and hopefully it’s not another misdirection this time, you take your other hand and with the edge of your shirt in both roll the remaining fabric of your shirt up so there’s a line of fabric at the top of your breasts. This time you do shiver at the cold feeling your nipples start to pebble from the difference in temperature. “Such a good girl, knowing what I was looking for, Mayfly. Think you deserve a reward?”

Smiling and nodding you freeze, remember he probably can’t see your face right now “Only if it’s not more teasing” you whisper out into the night. A chuckle is your answer before his mouth is pressed against your breastbone, just above the fabric making up the center of your bra, soft against the rarely seen skin outside a hotel room.

“Did you know your scars gleam in the moonlight, Mayfly?” That makes you pause, ignoring the cold for a moment as his mouth trails along the top of the fabric, mouthing the skin along the way. “They almost seem like rivers of silver, I know you don’t like them, but I love them” he punctuates the words by using his nose to move the fabric covering one of your nipples out of the way before catching the air hardened nub in his mouth and sucking hard. Back arching from the sensation and pressing your chest harder against his mouth, him humming around the skin, tongue flicking away and enjoying the feeling of your warm flesh under his hands and mouth. Once he’s satisfied with the condition of the first one, Vash pulls away with a hard pop making you hiss and clench. “You must be so wet Mayfly, even from up here I can smell you. Smell how desperate you are for more.” His words leave your swallowing hard, and the truth is you are desperate to cum at this point, your body feeling strung out.

Vash uses his mouth again to push the fabric out of the way and begins to start the same treatment from the first nipple onto your second. Or at least so it seems before giving it a hard bite forcing you to actually howl from the pain this time, his tongue quickly working to sooth the inflamed flesh. Panting hard and a few tears pin pricking your eyes from the pain, you honestly hadn’t been expecting that. He’s swirling his tongue against the nub in his mouth and rewards your patience at long last, pulling the fabric sticking to your cunt away and easily sliding a digit from his prosthetic into your core. This time your hiss is more one of pleasure then pain, finally having something in your slick channel to clench around, voice just audible you keep panting the words “thank you, thank you” over and over while he keeps sucking away and pumping the lone digit into your fluttering walls.

After a while, he ups his ministrations, adding a second finger that leaves you moaning and he pulls away from your breast again and leans back to survey his work. Both breasts are covered in blooming hickies, the results making his cock throb in his pants, he needs to make you cum before he moves you both to the blanket and his jacket, knowing he won’t last long with how riled up he is. Glancing at your face and taking in the slight sheen on your skin he smiles, you're wrecked from his touches and he loves it, loves how he’s learned how to make your body sing. The only body he’s ever wanted to know so intimately and most likely the only one he ever will, he knows you’re the one he was meant to find in this wide universe.

“Doing ok there Mayfly?” His voice is soft in your ear after leaning closer to you again, a kiss placed on your face beside where his hot breath is making you shudder. Core clenching delectably around the two fingers scissoring you open, still aware of the other hand tracing random patterns into your thigh, dancing along the pale skin.

“Yea, feeling pretty good baby” you still have your shirt balled up in your hands, not because you’re afraid of dropping them, there were no rules put in place tonight. No you keep them up because with the spit he left on both nipples the cool night air is making you shiver adding to the mismatch of sensations passing through your body. The movement of his fingers is speeding up, and you close your eyes briefly taking a deep breath. Upon re-opening them you find Vash staring at you, a look of adoration on his face like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s laid his eyes on. Pressing his lips to yours again, unhurried you moan, a third finger slipping in to massage your walls feeling that coil inside of you being pulled even tighter, the warmth searing hot. He doesn’t kiss you for long, having to lean up against the rock and stretch to reach your lips, the whole reason he placed you on the rock was to try and keep himself from hunching down to play with your pussy and breasts in the first place.

Your hips are starting to jerk following the movement of his fingers as they plunge in and out of you, chasing that high. “Do you wanna cum?” You nod at his question, eyes shut and breathing through clenched teeth, his fingers picking up speed. “Then cum on my fingers Mayfly, I’ll help you” the hand tracing patterns in your thigh is suddenly gone, the rough pad of his thumb dipping into you quickly before pulling away. A light pressure placed against your clit, using your own juices to lubricate his touch to your sensitive skin. It doesn’t take long, with the motions of his fingers against your core and bud before your back is arching again, pussy clenching hard around his now stilled fingers inside you, finally cumming a soft exhale of his name as that coil inside you snaps. Slumping forward Vash catches you against his body, letting you catch your breath while your mind slowly comes down from your high. Feeling the last twitch of your inner walls he gently removes his fingers from you, the fluid on them making his metal fingers gleam in the moonlight.

Once you start coming back to yourself and leaning back, he catches your eye as you adjust your bra and shirt to hang correctly, as he holds his hand up, the result of your release clear in front of your eyes for you to see. Starting to make a show of licking his digits clean, and holding eye contact while he does. A long pitiful whine escapes your throat, core clenching again as that dwindling flame starts up inside you again. Pink tip making a great show of scooping your juices off his fingers, once he’s happy with how clean they are and leaving you a whining panting mess he places his hands on your hips again to help you slide off the rock shelf. Once your feet are on the ground you’re reaching for him, tasting yourself on his tongue and moaning, hand palming at his hard cock still tucked away inside his pants. Pulling away you grin widely at him “ready to take this bad boy out and give him some relief?” You keep palming at him waiting for his answer, feeling him jerk against your hands hot even through his pants.

“Only if you are Mayfly” it seems since earlier in the evening he’s understood more of your apprehension about being down in the sand, giving you a final out. But at this point with how good you feel from his actions so far tonight, you want to feel him inside you, mess in the desert be damned. You nod, a brief kiss pressed to the corner of his lips, hooking the fingers of your hand with his while he leads you back to the blanket and his jacket. You slip both your gloves and toss them to join your jacket, watching as they land in the center. Vash has sat down on top of his coat, working on undoing his belt and pants to allow him to slide them with his underwear down his legs until his cock springs out. The head is red and weeping, clearly showing how neglected it’s been so far tonight and throbbing with need.

Once his attention is back on your body, you make a show of dragging your hands down your chest, giving your covered chest a squeeze on the way down to the hem of your shirt, pulling it up just enough so we can watch your fingers dance across the skin there while he wraps his hand around his cock, giving it slow measured pumps. Slowly walking closer to him, you wiggle your hips at him watching the slow swallow in his throat. Standing at his feet you let your hands glide along the top of your underwear, moving to your sides and finally hooking the fabric with your fingers to push it down, moaning long and loud as the cold night air nips at your wet lips. Letting your pants and underwear drop down around your ankles you drop to your knees between Vash’s legs, rubbing your hands along his clothed legs up to where you can touch bare skin to skin.

Wrapping a hand around his cock after pushing his hand you hear a sigh from him, pumping him in measured motions, base to tip, and back down, twisting along the way. “Please Mayfly” his voice is husky in his request and you won’t tease him too much, the need to feel him deep in your pussy is too strong to ignore. A final pump with the palm of your hand gracing his tip, a glob of precum beading at the slit. Adjusting your legs so your straddling him, tapping your clit with his head you let out a shaky moan, and he’s placing his hands on your hips again. Catching his eye, he gives you a perceptive nod, an indication he’s ready, and hand serving as a guide you press his head just past your entrance. With your first orgasm behind you and all the fluid dripping between you it’s an easy glide, and you slowly start to move your hips, gently taking more and more of him inside you.

Even as worked open as you are, once at the halfway point of his cock past your entrance you moan, the stretch of your walls at the edge between pain and pleasure. While your favorite thing when riding him is to just drop your hips and let gravity force his length into your channel, you don’t want that tonight. Wanting to savor that delicious stretch as you clench around him, keeping your movements shallow as you move up and down his length. Humming low in your throat you catch his eye, the tip of his tongue caught between his teeth watching you “like what you see~?” teasing him with a circular movement of your hips.

“I do” he grunts hips raising a little to slide just a bit deeper inside your slick walls “you feel so good.” You keep your pace slow, allowing both of you to relish the joint sensation, still working to take all of him inside you but you’re nearly there now. Pulling one of his hands from your hips, the flesh one, you make sure he’s watching as you pull his glove off, tossing it aside, placing his index and middle finger in your mouth and sucking on them. Hips thrashing and groaning, he slides the last of his length inside you making you both moan, your own hips following his as they drop back to keep him inside you. His tip kissing the deepest part of you, drawing another moan from you and around his fingers, flicking your tongue against the rough pads. Releasing his hand, which he replaces on your hip again you exhale long and low focusing on the feeling inside you, muscles fluttering around his throbbing cock inside you. Once you’ve adjusted to how full you feel, you start moving, grinding your hips in soft circles, Vash panting under you head thrown back. “I’m…” his words are slurred “I’m not… gonna la-...st Mayfly” the words a struggle for him to get out.

“Do you want me to speed up?” his head is shaking in the negative, clearly trying to hold off his orgasm wanting to draw out how long he’s going to be inside your tight heat.

“So good” in response to his words you do keep the same pace adding in a shallow rise and drop of your hips, cock sliding in and out of you causing your walls to flutter at the sensation. At how desperate he’s getting you smirk, leaning forward to let his jerking hips occasionally pressing the fine blond hairs at his base against your clit, clenching harder around him. Dropping your hands to his middle you start bunching the fabric up, pushing it along his skin until you have an unobstructed view of his chest and pecs a happy hum passing your lips while you keep riding him. There’s a red hue across his chest, a sign of his arousal and you let your hands dance across his skin, fingering the metal rod connecting his two pecs. A hard bucks makes you smile, looking into his blown out eyes, so hazy and unfocused, and still trying to hold his orgasm off.

“You can finish at anytime baby” he’s still shaking his head in the negative, forcing you to raise an eyebrow at him, the flush across his face making you tighten even more and you start to increase the pace of your movements. The sudden movement making him almost thrash, cock throbbing in your cunt in time to the fluttering of his heartbeat, but he’s still trying to hold himself back, a line of sweat slowly dripping down your back. Taking matters into your own hands, literally, you start to palm his pecs, pinching the sensitive skin there and pressing one of your thumbs into the scar where his missing nipple should have been. He’s panting even harder now, hips positioning against yours and his hands pulling your own up and down, finally riding that edge, and you realize the sneak was holding off, wanting you to finish with him. The flames in your core are burning you, a bubbling in your stomach making you want to cross that finish line, but you want him to reach his peak, you can work your own completion after his.

Sinking your teeth into the muscle around his remaining nipple, he hisses, feeling impossibly hard inside you, tongue rubbing the indents left in his skin and now flicking his hardening nub. “Mayfly~” your orgasm is chasing your heels, so you suck, hard against his skin, feeling his back arch, hands digging into your hips hard enough to leave bruises you can already feel forming. His thick hot seed, spurting inside your core as he cums, painting your insides white, and it pulls your second orgasm from you, blisteringly tight as your pussy milks him length for all he’s worth drawing any remaining cum from his ball in weaker spurts.

Head resting against his chest, a line of drool connecting your mouth to his nipple making his shiver from the liquid against his skin. Slowly coming back to your senses as you both breath deeply, releasing the hold on your hips, his hands slide up your back pressing against the fabric enclosed skin. “That, felt so good Mayfly.” His post nut clarity making him laugh “I can’t believe you bit my nipple.”

“Did you like it at least?” you giggle, body feeling lax against him and you enjoy the sensation of him softening inside you. Fingers tracing along the metal cable fused along his skin, listening to his heartbeat.

“I did. Might be something else for us to explore.” He’s sighing, one hand reaching up to tangle in your hair, rubbing against your scalp. “We should clean up. I don’t really want a cum stain on my jacket, as much as it would make for an interesting story.” You snort, pushing yourself up into a seating position still straddling him, before placing your hands beside him and pushing upwards to your feet.

Once standing you can feel your mixed fluids pouring down your thighs, checking your pants and underwear to make sure there isn’t any sand in them before pulling them back up. You’re not a stranger to fluid stuck between your legs, and Vash did say you should be in the next town by morning, even with the distracted delay from the evening you should still be there tomorrow to clean your skin better. Yourself taken care, you turn to see Vash pulling his pants back up around his post sex chub, making you grin. Checking his jacket before pulling it back on, seemingly happy that there aren’t any stains on the red fabric.

Grabbing the blanket he walks closer to you, hand reaching to cup your face and you lean up to close the distance for a soft kiss. “Lets cuddle, I’m feeling pretty tired Mayfly.” Settling so he’s leaning against your bags, he pats his chest invitingly, so you settle between his legs again and rest your cheek against his chest above his heart beat. Arms wrapping around one another. “Thanks for entertaining the idea, this was fun.” You only hum, exhausting nipping at your skull and for the first night in a long time you don’t bother with a watch through the night. Content in each other's arms.

The next morning, after getting on your way Vash having stated you should be in town by mid afternoon you both start walking. You notice on occasion Vash stops, gives a small shudder, and then continues on his way. By mid morning you can’t take it anymore, the discomfort he’s trying to hide showing on his face. “What’s wrong Sunshine?” you snicker at the glare he sends you.

Pausing once more, no longer trying to be discreet he tried to pull his pants away from his butt “I think I have sand in my butt crack” you roar with laughter, leaning on your knees at how despondent he sounds. “This isn’t funny Mayfly” trying to chastise you while he keeps pulling “it’s really uncomfortable. I keep feeling the grains moving around.”

It’s the last straw and you fall over in the sand, laughing too hard to keep yourself upright, tears pricking your eyes. “And you wonder why I said I didn’t want sand in my lady parts” you continue to laugh before he’s pulling you up. As you both keep walking, another peal of laughter leaves you “Why didn't you just fuck me against the rock?” It’s like a lightbulb goes off above his head, and leaves him grumbling all the way to town about how next time he’ll take your advice when he wants to have sex in the desert. “Once we get to town, I'll help you clean up my Sunshine.” Once in town, he’s red in the face, trying to wave it off as heat exhaustion, only you know better as he tries once more to pull his clothes away from his butt.

Back to Masterlist for the series

#vash the stampede x reader smut #vash the stampede x reader #vash the stampede #vash smut #trigun stampede #trigun #twink writes #Bullets Bandits Ghosts & Typhoons #tristamp #trigun smut #trigun stampede smut

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starswallowingsea · 2 years

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It's book review time! This time for a book I actually finished like a month ago and completely forgot to do my review until now!

So I read the Lost Apothecary by Sarah Penner back in August. I got it through Book of the Month because nothing in July (when I signed up) particularly called out to me and this book has been on my TBR for a while so I took a chance on it.

Overall it was... kinda meh. It reads easy enough and I finished it in a week but I wish there had just been more to it.

My overall rating was 3.5/5 stars and I'll get into the details under the cut.

So this book is one of those split historical/modern perspectives books, similar to the Paris Orphan but not done quite as well in my opinion (and a lot of other people's opinions too). The concept is there, an apothecary that helped women kill their abusive spouses or men in their lives, which certainly existed (side note: if that is what interested you about this novel, I would highly recommend the first season of the podcast Criminalia, which was all about lady poisoners and each episode includes a cocktail recipe to go with the story. Anyway,) and are important to study, but the modern perspective was lacking.

I'm in the minority that didn't really mind Caroline, but I kind of interpreted her as being raised in like an Evangelical household where the decisions she says she made with regards to her husband (such as not going to grad school, taking a job she didn't want just for the stability, etc) made more sense? But then towards the end her husband shows up and it just makes everything very, very weird. He admits to drinking some of her essential oils on purpose to get her attention because he thought she was going to leave him for cheating on her (no fucking shit dude). If she wasn't already preparing the divorce papers when you cheated on her with one of your office workers, then she definitely would after you intentionally poisoned yourself and almost died.

The past segment of the book also felt somewhat weak. I understand that it had to take place before the invention of poison detection in forensic analysis during autopsies started getting better and more accurate, but other than that it didn't feel like Penner utilized the setting to its fullest extent. Also the twelve year old character thought her vagina was haunted by the ghost of her old master and nobody explained the concept of periods to her? Why. They kinda just brushed it off as "all girls and women bleed once every lunar cycle" but never explained that it was natural to her.

Finally, my biggest gripe with the book was the absolutely insane focus on pregnancy. It feels like all the characters except the child are obsessed with having children. The old lady who runs the apothecary laments how her lover had forced her to have a miscarriage (which at first I didn't mind as a motivation for her, but then), one of her customers comes in and wants to kill her husband's lover so he'll sleep with her and get her pregnant and she can have children, and the most egregious example of all, the modern character, as her husband was being taken to the hospital, thinks that one of the emergency responder's making a remark about keeping essential oils out of reach of children is an attack on her for not having children. Girly, it's just a statement of fact. You shouldn't keep essential oils within reach of children or they will eat it and die.

I think towards the end Penner was trying to go for some sort of magical realism or just in general actual magic in the setting but it was not very well executed. The only real sign of it was the 12yo girl character believed that magic could save the little hole in the wall apothecary and brewed some "potions" to keep them alive in dire situations and she chugged it before jumping from a bridge into the Thames, which certainly the impact into the cold water should have killed her almost instantly and we have not been led to believe she knows how to swim either. At the end we see that she survived and hinted in the one piece of writing about her that survived to the 21st century that she believed the potion protected her on that day. Yeah. If she wanted to add that little hint of magic, I wish it had more of an influence on the plot and more of a presence in the book or was just left out entirely.

Anyway, it's an easy read. If you need something quick to read and get out of a slump, it'll do that. It's not awful but it's certainly odd and could have done more with the connections between modern and historical instead of just some random tourist coming across one of the old bottles in the river on a vacation away from her cheating husband. It's not the worst book I've ever read but it's also not worth writing home about because it was so good. It's average. It's so unfortunate that it has such a beautiful cover and such a mid-tier story.

#shay speaks #book reviews #bookblr #the lost apothecary #i had most of these thoughts written down in the bad books book club discord from when i was still reading it #link is in my carrd if you'd like to come join us!

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lindsaywesker · 2 years

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Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to Too Much Information Tuesday!

In 1950, the population of Cancún, Mexico was five.

Coca-Cola never patented their secret formula because doing so would require them to publicly disclose the ingredients.

The average three-hour baseball game only has about 18 minutes of game action.

To replace energy after a workout, most sports supplements are no more effective than a burger.

Your lips touch when you say the word "separate" but don't touch when you say the word "together".

Netflix picked up 'Stranger Things' after it was rejected by 15 networks.

There are more bacteria in your armpit than there are people in the world.

There is one divorce in the US every 36 seconds.

The Hawaiian Pizza was invented by a Greek in Canada.

Newspapers correct fewer than 2% of their mistakes.

When Czechoslovakia split, the Czech Republic and Slovakia split their national anthem as well. Each country got one verse.

Uncle Phil's law firm on ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’ is called Firth, Wynn and Meyer, inspired by the band Earth, Wind & Fire.

At its peak, Pablo Escobar's cartel earned about $420 million a week and controlled 80% of the worldwide cocaine market.

In the Marvel Universe, Wakanda is the most advanced civilization on Earth.

Pakistan is an acronym that stands for Punjab, Afghania, Kashmir, and Indus-Sind. The ‘stan’ suffix means ‘land’.

There's one character owned by both Marvel and DC Comics named Access. His sole purpose is to keep their universes separate.

You're more likely to catch a cold by holding hands with someone than by kissing them.

French pubic lice are known as ‘papillons d'amour’, butterflies of love.

The most borrowed book from the Houses of Parliament library is called 'How Parliament Works'.

The word ‘nothing’ was Elizabethan slang for ‘vagina’. The title of Shakespeare's play ‘Much Ado About Nothing’ is actually a double entendre.

Sandwiches "taste better" when they're made by someone else. When you make your own, you anticipate its taste and become less hungry for it.

In 1939, the New York Times predicted that the television would fail because the average American family would not have enough time to sit around and watch it.

Some American jails now dress inmates in black and white jumpsuits because the TV show ‘Orange Is The New Black’ has made orange ones too cool.

‘Il y a une couille dans le potage’ (there is a testicle in the soup) is French slang for 'there is a major problem'.

Stanford researchers estimate that if you haven’t tried sushi by the time you’re 39 years old, there’s a 95% chance you never will.

In ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’, there is a wall carving of R2D2 and C3P0 behind the ark.

Almost half of American adults think dinosaurs and humans co-existed.

“Eton, a sort of Hogwarts for wankers.” (Jonathan Pie, September 19, 2022)

In New York City, women can legally go topless wherever men can legally go topless.

John Lennon and George Harrison once took a multi-bus trip across Liverpool to visit a stranger who could teach them the chord B7.

A 2019 survey found that 30% of millennials feel they have a better shot at landing a date with an A-list celebrity than ever owning a home.

When a male llama tries to make a move on a female llama, she'll spit on him if she's not feeling it.

Before electricity, theatres would use heated calcium oxide (commonly known as ‘quicklime’) to illuminate their stages. This is where the phrase "in the limelight" comes from.

In 1800, the average age of an American was 16, today it is 38.

60% of millennials earning more than $100,000 say they're living “paycheck to paycheck”.

The Ryungyong Hotel in Pyongyang, North Korea is 105 floors tall; making it the tallest unoccupied building in the world.

The average American spends about $70,000 on takeout and delivery in their lifetime.

Pixar accidentally deleted ‘Toy Story 2’ halfway through making it.

In Texas, it's illegal for a person to own or use more than six dildos.

During an orgasm, the brain releases so much dopamine that a brain scan resembles that of someone on heroin.

In a survey of 68,000 women from 180 countries, 88.9% said that kindness is the most important trait when it comes to choosing a partner.

Want to feel old? Ethan Nwaneri was born in ‘the queue’.

Okay, that’s enough information for one day. Have a tremendous and tumultuous Tuesday! I love you all.

#mixcloud #mi soul #dj #music #lockdown #new blog #coronavirus #books #democracy #brexit #cronyism #election #tuesdaymotivation #autumm

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queen-of-desire · 1 day

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Part 3

I couldnt say a word and i feel dizzy. No one ever touched me down there before him and it feels so good. I moan when he puts his finger out of me, in the backround i hear the bell ring … its 9 am, math class starting, fuck. „You should go to your class Ela“ he said and takes a step back. „Bit i dont want to go to class“ does this words really came out of my mouth ? Hes looking at me, i can see that his dick is hard when i was looking down, i mean i wasnt looking for his dick i dont know. He smirkes again, fuck stop doinkng this, „well you are a really bad little gurl i think ela“ he puts his hand next to my head against the wall leaning against me again, we are very very close, „but ela i am really not the right man for a sweet little girl like you, my thoughts are very dark you know“ hes wispering now. „I want you to do those dark things to me please“ my voice breaks while saying this words out loud finally. His eyes are getting dark again. „You dont really want that, little virgin“ thats the moment when he got realy suprised look bc my hand is on his pants rubbing his dick a bit, and hes hugh, oh god hes gonna destroy me. He took a step back, sitting down his office chair „okay ela then show me your body and take your clothes off“

I am so turned on by this

So i took off my short skirt, my shirt , hes watching me the hole process, „now the pantys you wont need them again today, give it to me“ i do what he said „ good girl, now i show you how a dick really looks like and you gonna suck it for me, can you do that ?“ i nod while he opens his zipper , pushes his pants down and put down his penis „down on you knees now“ he forced his dick in my mouth and it tastes so hood i feel so naughty while doing this but im also afraid of the moment he stopt pushing in my mouth bc that means the moment of truth is there „go to the couch and open your legs ela i will be sooft bc its your first time okay“ i am feeling safe but a bit ashamed that thus is now going to happen, my legs are closed yet when climbes on top of me. „This is going to hurt really bad it always does okay“ „okay do it“ i feel his big dick on my entrance pushing in slowly and hes right omg it hurts i want to scream stop but it has to be done, he pushes harder inside bc ges not even half inside me yet, oh god, „push faster i want it to end please, a tear is running through my face „i love to see you suffer ela“ he said when he roughly pushed his whole dick in me, i feel stabbed… hes starting to move and fucking me and i starting to love the pain and the shame „oh your such a tight little pussy you know that“ he moans to my ear getting louder and so it hoes on for some more minutes and suddely i think hes coming inside me. i feel so dirty right now i cant even tell „you were a very good girl im so proud of you“ he told me while his cum is dripping out of me, my vagina is burning like hell but it feels so good at the same time. „i feel so good“ i said while i m trying to stand up but he pushes me back down „listen ela we are not ready yet“ „i dont understand“ my heart was beating again, hes so hot and standing there clothing his self again while im still naked „listen men are not only fucking pussys, sex us a lot more dirty stuff and for now we have one hole left thats still virgin“ i started to understand and had to swallow, dies he mean…? Im feeling hot again. „you dont have to be afraid of it okay, im not fucking your ass today but you habe to be prepared for this, which is the reason we should start stretching your hole“ his words rushing trough my head, i want that, im so lost omg, „..but i..“ „Turn around on the couch, on your knees“ „no i..“ „Turn. Around. Ela.“ I doing what he said, week knees „head down, ass up, hands on your ass, spread it for me little girl, are you my little slut?“ im so ashamed and turned on that this is happending, i follow his descriptions, my face is very red „yes mr davis“ my cunt is dripping when he puts one finger inside to make it wet, it hurts but im moaning, he spits on my buthole and starts pushing his finger inside, spreading it „your so tight, we have to change that my little slut“ he starts fucking my ass with his finger and i couldnt control myself anymore „sh sh you habe to be quiet, im right back“ hes not inside me anymore but in the next moment i fell something hard pushing ahaigst my entrance „what..“ „its a plug, youll wear it till i put it out in the evening, unterstand?“ „Yes sir“ he throve it side me burning like hell. „I want you to fuck my ass and come in it, and i want you to slap me sir“ „oh baby no, i cant do that bc you are allready late to your class, so now clean your bleeding pussy and take on your shirt and skirt, ill keep your pantys and you can habe it back when your a good girl, maybe later, see you in the last lesson today“

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authorxxxxx · 1 year

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Innocence - Undressed

My First Time

It was a cold winter day, a week before Christmas break. I had skipped class for the first time to meet up with my then boyfriend, Cody. I would’ve had second period, however, Cody’s parents wouldn’t be home so he thought it would be perfect for us.

We had only been dating for two weeks and before that, Cody had another girlfriend, Billy. Before that, he had been with two other girls. Cody was only two years older than me, in his Senior year, with the sexual appetite like Mr.Grey. He was taller than me, athletic build with washboard abs, and dark blonde hair with a military haircut. He had the lightest blue eyes that you could get lost in. Stare into his eyes for too long and you may just lose yourself in them.

The night before, I had shaved my vagina for the first time because three weeks prior , Cody had told me I was hairy and needed to do something about it. Cadets had finished for the evening and Cody had asked me if I wanted a ride home. Then he was with Billy. But I couldn’t resist. Before dropping me off, Cody had parked his car a few blocks from my place. I had only kissed one other person in like the 8th grade so I didn’t really know what was going on. Cody unbuckled his seat belt then reached over to unbuckle mine. My first thought was, why does he have no scent? Usually guys smell good or wear some form of perfume. Their own scent girls can’t get over and want to steal your sweater because it smells like them; kind of scent. However, Cody was allergic to perfumes and many other things, so I don’t think I’d be stealing any of his sweaters anytime soon.

Just as Cody took my seat belt off, he intensely kissed me. I was stunned and before I could say anything, he was kissing me again. I felt my vagina get warm and tingle as I leaned into him more, kissing him back. He caressed the side of my face to my breasts. I could feel myself getting turned on and my panties wet. I had never experienced that feeling before and it felt good. As Cody’s hand worked its way from my breasts to my belt, I stopped him and said, “Wait! What about Billy? Isn’t she your girlfriend?” He responded back, “Yes, but I’m leaving her, I want you.” As he began to unbuckle my belt and kiss my neck, I couldn’t resist though I knew it was wrong. His lips went from kissing my neck making their way back to my lips. Kissing me intensely as his fingers slid under my panties. Touching me, sliding his fingers back and forth on my wet clit. When his lips left mine, I had let out multiple moans telling him not to stop. “Keep going, Oh Oh OoooH, I think I’m going to cum”, I moaned. He whispers in my ear, “Cum for me, cum on my fingers”, and so I did. As I grasped onto his shoulders, thrusting my hips more onto his fingers, the sensation was intense, I could see stars in my eyes and then I had my first orgasm.

Panting, I rested my head on his shoulder as he took his hand out of my panties and I began to buckle up my pants. I sat back into the passenger seat all flushed, trying to process the orgasm I just had and then I remembered that he still had a girlfriend. Cody looked over at me and asked, “So how did that feel?” I blurted out, “Amazing!”, with a huge smile and blushed cheeks.

Before I could even ask the question, “So what is this?” Cody stated that he had a suggestion for me, if I could shave before we had sex. I blurted out, “What about Billy?” He responded, “I’m going to break up with her at school tomorrow.” Was that supposed to make me feel good? That he was choosing me? Cause if so, I felt the complete opposite. I felt sick to my stomach, I had become The Other Woman before I even lost my virginity. But he was so good looking, he wanted me, and that orgasm…

Driving the few blocks to my house was pretty quiet, Cody pulled over a few houses down so my parents didn’t see me getting out of a boys car. Before I got out, Cody leaned over, kissed me on the cheek and said he’d come see me after school the next day.

The next day, Cody called me after fourth period to tell me he was not far from my school and wanted to come pick me up so we could talk. I could feel my stomach sink and my mind race. What did he want to talk about? Did he break up with Billy? Did he change his mind or did he tell her that he cheated on her with me? So many thoughts were running through my mind while I waited for Cody to pick me up. As Cody drove up to the front of my school, my heart began to race, I could feel myself sweating but I also felt a little turned-on. Thinking about the night before was making me flushed in the chest. I had to tell myself to take deep breaths before I got into the car. As I got into the car, before I could put my seatbelt on, Cody gently grabbed both sides of my face and kissed me like they do in the movies. I could feel that warm tingle again. For a moment, I forgot about everything.

As Cody pulls away he says, “I broke up with Billy today”, “oh, are you okay?” I responded back. “Ya, it wasn’t working out anyways, besides I want to be with you”, he said. I had that stunned look on my face again. Why am I so awkward? I kept thinking. Cody giggled at my facial expression, started driving and said he was going to take us somewhere private. Cody pulled into an empty parking lot behind the YMCA, unbuckled his seatbelt and told me to get into the back seat with him. Staring into his eyes, wondering why he wanted me, Cody stared back into mine and asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. “Yes, yes I will be your girlfriend,” I gleefully said. Cody had a grin from ear to ear, moving closer to me he placed his hand softly behind my neck while gripping some of my hair. He looked deep into my eyes then kissed me passionately. We began to makeout intensely, caressing each other's bodies. Cody’s hands began caressing my breasts, working his hands down to my hips where he picked me up to straddle him. I could instantly feel his hard boner as I thrusted my hips into him, kissing him deeply. It was so hot my panties were soaked. As Cody started to kiss my neck, he lightly bit my ear and gave me this tingling sensation and shivers all over my body. He could feel I was turned on, his hands on my hips thrusting me into his boner more while gently moving his lips from my neck down my collar bone to my breasts. OMG. It felt so good. Too good. As Cody started to unbutton my blouse, moving my bra over to lightly suck my nipples. I had let out a moan, thrusting into him deeper while running my fingers through his hair.

Then it hit me! “Wait!! Stop!! I’m a virgin!!” I yelled. I pulled away as I began to blush and feared I had ruined the mood. Cody smiled while giggling, saying he knew I was a virgin. How?! My unshaved vagina gave it away. He seemed to be more turned on by the thought of me never having sex before; his hands were running all over my body while thrusting into me. We continued to make out as I dry humped his hard boner. We weren’t even having sex and the windows were all fogged up as if we were. It was so steamy, reminiscing about it turns me on.

The rush of young love, the intensity you feel towards one another, exploring each other’s bodies for the first time, and finding unconvential/ secret places to explore each other sexually without the interruption of parents. Ya… It was fucking hot, like Fifty Shades of Grey hot with more nudity.

However, we didn’t have sex that night. I told Cody I wanted to wait and so he did…. For two weeks. Which brings you back to where we started. The day I lost my virginity. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t ready for my first time. I wanted to wait till I was at least in love or married. I wore a purity ring for christ sakes! But that was not how Cody rolled.. He didn’t want to wait any longer, insinuating that he would leave and that he doesn’t not have sex in a relationship. I remember feeling worried that he would break up with me. My first relationship ever and I get dumped two weeks later? Every girl's worst nightmare.

Cody had picked me up at school after first period to drive me over to his place, which was out of town. I had never been more nervous in my life. I didn’t know what to expect, except for what I’ve seen in movies or porn. I was pretty quiet for most of the drive. I was wearing my winter boots and jacket over my white lace dress. With a white bra and panties to match. I had decided to curl my hair and wear red lipstick. I thought white was fitting for the occasion… ;)

As we pulled up to his big country house, with a swimming pool, hot tub and fifty acres of land; my heart began to race. Once Cody parked the car, he got out first and came over to open my door for me. He takes my hand to guide me, at first I thought we were going into the house, but instead we were headed to the garage. Cody opens the door, we walk in and there’s a mattress on the floor, a sex playlist on the stereo, candles lit and lube on the bed. It wasn’t my first wish to have sex for my first time in a garage but it’s not like I was going to tell him and hurt his feelings. He said it was so we could have more privacy in case I’m loud or his parents come home early. So I went along with it.

Cody takes my coat off and walks me over to the mattress on the floor and tells me to just relax. I stayed quiet thinking he must know what he’s doing considering he’s been with three other girls before me. As he begins to kiss my neck from behind and unzipping my dress I couldn’t help but think about the other girls he has probably done this for. I thought my first time would be special and I’d feel special. With my dress falling to the floor, I could feel Cody’s hands running all over my body while taking my bra off. He begins to french kiss me while running his hand down my panties and began to rub my clit. I moaned. His kisses made their way to my breasts, lightly licking and sucking my nipples. God I love my nipples and breasts being played with, something I didn’t know until that moment.

I started taking Cody’s belt off, unbuckling his pants, letting them drop to the floor. He stopped rubbing my clit for a moment to take his shirt off. Ugh he was so hot, the abs and bubble butt ass. He took my hand and grabbed his cock between his boxers then whispered in my ear, “My cock is so hard, I want you.” I had never seen a penis before nor had I touched one, but it sure turned me on. As I lay on my back, Cody gets on top of me to kiss me, then my neck to my breasts. I lightly moan as he continues to kiss down my body to my panties, he could even wait to take them off and he started licking my pussy right through my underwear. I moaned again and again until he ripped my panties off, spread my legs and started to lick my pussy more. I started to moan louder. It felt so good, I never thought I’d love a guy going down on me. He had spread my vagina lips apart to suck my clit even deeper and my screams of ecstasy got louder. Throwing my legs over his shoulder, my hands running through his hair, thrusting my pussy more into his face, he looks up at me with those big blue eyes, paused and said, “cum for me baby, cum all over my face,” as he continues to lick my wet pussy, I orgasmed in his mouth. When he came up for air, he french kissed me while saying my pussy tastes so good and that he loved that I took his advice; my vagina was hairless. Again, it wasn’t the most romantic setting, but at least he was trying, right?

Cody took off his boxers, kissed me again and asked if I was ready; “uh huh,” I responded. He proceeded to put on a ONE branded condom and he begins to have sex with me, I cry out not in ecstasy but pain. He whispers, “That’s your cherry popping.” I could feel tears running down the sides of my face as he kept going, letting out a loud moan as came inside the condom. That's it? That’s what sex is? That fucking hurt, I thought to myself. Cody hands me a towel and directs me to the shower. I get into the shower to notice blood everywhere. I started to cry silently in the shower not sure if that was normal or not. Or if he noticed the blood too, I hoped not.

Once I got out of the shower and got dressed, Cody said he would drive me back to school. The ride was once again quiet and it felt like the molding of his penis was inside my vagina. As I stared out the window, I felt different. Not bad but different.

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devil666lovesblog · 2 years

Text

The return of Jessica

When I wrote the Love and Passion of Jessica I intended her to be my real girlfriend, but as luck would have it she went to Tuen Mun from MK to meet me then she lost her smartphone; and we were out of luck to have sex together. Also my parents returned from Shenzhen to HK a little bit too early before I met her, I wrote that just to denote my unfulfilled love and sexual desire for what she saw herself as an undeserved woman. I can imagine how nervous she became when she take a bus to go to Tuen Mun to meet me and make real passionate sex all day and all night long when we both forgot the passage of time.

I imagined that she saw me in the LRT terminus in Tuen Mun somewhere then she embraced me and ran to kiss me. We forgot the time and passionately devoured each other for our first kiss, the world melted down besides ours on the LRT platform. And we returned to our senses. She held my hand like a shy girl held a guy’s hand for the first time. While we were heading toward my apartment suddenly my parents called and said they are almost there, I said I am outside home eating breakfast implying that I would return “a little later”. That is the moment to prove Jessica made the right choice of choosing me to have sex over other guys, I said: Would you like to “eat breakfast” with me? She looked at me with a small glimpse then she said yes with a nervous tone, expecting something real exciting to happen.

I now have to find an alternative place to have sex with her. So we ate breakfast like a lover with our hands held together, I paid for her then said: I treated you for breakfast and how shall you repay me (with your holes which are already itchy). She got it and said: Master, I am at your disposal, I will be your sex doll and do whatever you like.

I replied: I will fuck you in the toilet for the Disabled, and until you satisfied all my needs I won’t let you go.

Do you have a condom along with you?

Did you want to be my girlfriend? Are you dying to have sex with me.

Yes, I am. A sex doll.

You use your holes and mouth to pay for your breakfast. The breakfast with your mouth in above is finished, now I had breakfast with your other mouth. Is it mouthwatering for my seeds inside?

Yes, I would let you shoot everything inside me.

And I will not let you clean off my precious sperms when it is dripping from your tightly hole. Your sole purpose of existence now is to make my dick happy, and you are no more valuable than the simulator to my dickhead. You had to swallow everything, understand?

Understood.

You came here to fuck me so I would abuse your sexually for the sake of ejaculating or urinating to your unworthy hole. I would use NO protection and whatever happened is your responsibility. But if your holes gave me an excellent experience then I may consider to have sex continuously with you once twice every week, then maybe a few nights out when we had sex in a love hotel, then maybe we could cohabit together. And before that, you are just one of my many SEX SLAVE. Your little walking womb, understand?

Yes.

My mother almost interrupted me when me and Jessica are ready to have sex in a Disable toilet. I tell her that I am eating breakfast with a girl visiting me from afar and they have the keys to the apartment and I will return home later. My mother said: Be safe. That is exactly the opposite of what I did with Jessica, I lost count with the number of cum inside her hole in above and the more sensitive hole in below. She did exactly as I demand and she never had so many cum swallowed in both of her holes. To give her an unforgettable experience after she dressed up and prepared to leave I suddenly pull down her pants and put a hot and wet iron right into her exhaust channel of solid waste then fucking it with all my might. She complained slightly: You like it here? Your anus is tight and it is still a virgin, I am taking its virginity of the price of your breakfast (when her vagina are used to fuck with other guys) and I am going to explode right inside. Did you like it in your ass?

She delayed a little then answered affirmatively: Yes, my master. Rip me apart. Of course, then I fuck her other hole for half hour. It is like taking a girl’s virginity except it is tighter than the real hole,and the insulting factor multiplex my pleasure to no end. After I finished with her anus she cleaned up my dick with her mouth, I said: Don’t make me cum and we had enough. So she is not making my cum. We dressed up then we left, she left her phone number….etc and called me whatever she wanted her womb filled with my sperms. Of course, with no protection whatsoever. She calls me as her honey and I call her SP.

What I wrote in above doesn’t happen, she never reached me that day; and this ONS soon dragged into a love relationship after countless online conservation in FB and Google+, she even asked me what would happen if I impregnated her: I said you will be my wife then. This time she touched again: She said, can I have you for tonight as my husband?

Ah, I see: You want me to cum inside you, and stick my HUGH “chocolate bar” inside your “pleasure palace”.

yes….es….es.

I won’t use any protection since it is you who wants my sperms all inside you. Understand?

Yes, I will be your obident little sex slave all night long. You can take my front and blow it up from the inside, you can turn me inside out and my body is all yours.

What about the other hole?

“You want it in there too.”

I am your HUSBAND tonight and every part of your body is a tool for our sexual pleasure.

I shall clean it thoroughly to serve you and only you. I never use it to serve any other guy when you love me the most. You fuck and kill me and do whatever I wish.

I DEFINITELY would fuck all your holes inside out and outside in in ways you can barely imagine. You met me at the 59X bus terminus at 3pm, it shall arrive no later than 3:30. You are free until the next day?

I asked the boss for three day off. You can do me for days and nights?

Why not, take your contraceptive pills. When I shoot in your mouth you eat it with grateful attitude, when I fulfill the hunger of your container for man-made pleasure liquid you need to thank me with more orgasm. Got it?

Got it.

See you there.

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misscarolineshelby · 3 years

Text

Roommates – Part Sixteen

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words:1,876

Warning: Fluff, Smut

Note: This plays in 2020. It’s all fiction and not based on Cillian’s real life and family.

A week had passed since you told Cillian that you loved him and, whilst you were strongly under the influence of pain medication, you remembered it.

You had, in fact, developed strong feelings for him and whilst the words left your lips accidentally when you were drowsy and half asleep, you were somewhat disappointed by the fact that he didn’t say anything.

Of course, he didn’t share the same feelings for you, you knew that much. You’ve been friends for so many years that you could hardly be surprised that he liked you as a friend and for sex, but nothing else. But, what you had expected was that he would say something, anything at all, even if it was simply confirming what you already knew.

***

You did tell your sister about it and, whilst you were surprised by the feelings you had so suddenly developed for your long-time friend, she wasn’t surprised at all.

She saw it coming as soon as she found out that you were sleeping with each other and she believed that you always had some sort of feelings for him.

In the same vein, she was sure that he felt the same about you and was probably reluctant to tell you and, with that in mind, you continued on as usual and acted as if nothing had happened.

You weren’t willing to give up your friendship and the amazing sex you have for maybes and thought that, if your sister was right, he would come around eventually, at least so you hoped.

***

Then, another week had passed and nothing had changed. At least so you thought.

Cillian asked you whether you wanted to travel to Cork with him to see his parents now that Ireland, once again, came out of lockdown and visits to family were permitted provided that you had a permit.

‘I don’t think I can Cillian. Only spouses’ you said, pointing to the pamphlet he had printed out from the Irish Covid Information website.

‘Well, we are living together, you can pretend to be my girlfriend if the police pulls us over’ he chuckled, before pleading with you.

‘You just want me to drive, don’t you’ you then said and he nodded. He hated driving long distances and it didn’t help that he had only gotten his drivers licence five years ago and failed his driving test three times when he moved back to Dublin.

‘I suppose it’s safer if I drive…so yes, I am coming’ you said somewhat amused.

‘Should I ask Ma to prepare two or one room for us?’ Cillian then asked and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

‘Your mother is strictly catholic and I suppose that the answer to your question depends on what you are willing to reveal to her about our little arrangement’ you joked and, of course, Cillian hadn’t even thought that far.

‘Two bedrooms’ he then confirmed before picking up the phone to let his mother know that you would be coming with him.

***

Three days later, you hit the road for the three-and-a-half-hour drive to Cork after you both had received a negative COVID test result which you took as a precaution.

As usual, Cillian’s mother was excited about the visit and you were excited too. You hadn’t seen her for about 18 months and the last time you saw her she had cooked you and your fiancé a lovely a meal.

Things were different then and you talked about your wedding and all the plans you were having in the future.

There was no pandemic to worry about and you weren’t aware of your fiancé’s indiscretions at the time while Cillian was still happily dating your somewhat crazy friend.

Now, your engagement had ended but your friendship with Cillian had evolved into something else entirely.

***

After a smooth three-and-a-half-hour drive, you pulled up in front of Cillian’s parents’ house.

They both greeted you with excitement and told you to come in quickly as it was raining.

Cillian’s father quickly carried your small suitcase to one of the guestrooms while Cillian placed his into the other. There wasn’t much space in the house and, whilst the house had four bedrooms, the corridors were rather narrow and the living area was small.

‘It’s so good to see you Y/N’ Cillian’s mum said before offering you a cup of tea which you gladly accepted.

‘The last time you visited Cork was under better circumstances, but I hope you will enjoy it nonetheless’ she then said and you thanked her for her hospitality.

You had always gotten along well with Cillian’s mother and Cillian was simply happy to see his parents again after such a long time, even if it meant that his siblings couldn’t visit them at the same time as him due to the visitation limits imposed.

As you were sitting on the sofa with Cillian’s mother you soon noticed that Cillian was gone and so did his mother.

‘He better not be stealing food’ she then huffed out sternly and, sure enough, Cillian had found the freshly baked scones in the kitchen and couldn’t resist.

‘But they are so good Ma’ you heard him argue as his mum told him to get out of the kitchen and leave the scones alone, which made you laugh.

‘He will never change’ you chuckled and his mother nodded in agreement.

‘No, he won’t’ she then said before informing you that she had made a roast for dinner.

***

After dinner and a few glasses of wine with Cillian’s parents, they headed to bed at around 8.30pm as usual, leaving you and Cillian to watch TV in the living room.

You were quick to spread your legs out over Cillian’s laps, getting yourself more comfortable but being vary that his parents might walk in on you.

But, Cillian seemed to think that, once they went to bed, they would pretty much go to sleep right away and proceeded to pull you onto his lap.

‘I missed this today’ he said before he caressed your face and kissed you gently.

‘Me too’ you then giggled before returning the kiss rather quickly.

‘Do you want to go to my bedroom or yours?’ he then winked and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

‘Your parents are in the house Cillian’ you then said and, just as you did, you heard some footsteps in the hallway behind you.

You quickly jumped off Cillian’s lap and sat on the lounge like a well-behaved schoolgirl as his mother walked by to get a glass of water while Cillian covered up his erection, poking against the denim of his jeans, with a cushion.

‘Night Ma’ he then said and she couldn’t help but laugh before saying ‘good night’ again.

‘I am not going to have sex at your parents house’ you then huffed out quietly when his mother had left.

‘Alright, let’s go for drive then’ he suggested.

‘A drive? And how will you explain this to your mother tomorrow?’ you laughed and Cillian suggested to tell her that you forgot some toiletries and he drove to the shop to get them.

‘Supermarket closes in 30 minutes, let’s go’ he said and you couldn’t really say no to him.

***

Ten minutes later you arrived at a secluded area near the beach and you could just tell that Cillian had been there before.

‘Is this where you used to take your girlfriends when you were at high school and snatched your parents’ combi even though you didn’t have a driver’s licence?’ you asked, having heard about these stories from his brother before.

‘Yeah, it’s a good spot, nice and quiet’ Cillian winked as he reclined his seat and you quickly stripped down to your bra and panties.

‘Oh my god Cillian I feel like an 18-year-old again, sneaking out of the house to make out’ you laughed and, just before you could protest, Cillian reached inside your panties and slowly stroked your mound.

‘Just that, this time, it will actually be worth your while’ Cillian smirked as he ran his forefinger between the crease of your pussy and noticed the moistness which had already built there.

‘Hmm yes, it will be Cillian’ you moaned as he was rubbing your clit with his left hand and with his right hand was caressing your breasts.

You were quick to release his hard cock from his jeans as well and began jerking him in time with his clitoral stimulation and the heat inside the car was palpable.

‘So naughty…what if we get caught?’ you huffed out, knowing that Cillian had a kink for semi-public sex.

‘It’s worth the risk’ he groaned and, before long, you were gazing up from the seat with that wanton look in your eyes, pulling Cillian closer and uttering cues while he fingered your pussy and mouthed your firm nipples with his welcoming mouth.

‘I need you inside me Cillian’ you moaned as you were welcoming two fingers into your waiting slit and could not be distracted, even by the crackling sounds outside and the sound of the radio.

‘Come on then’ Cillian groaned as you continued to stroke him and, just as he invited you to take what you needed so badly, you let go off his cock and climbed on top of him.

He pressed the head of his cock against your awaiting pussy and you slowly sank down on him.

‘Oh god yes fuck’ you moaned as his cock disappeared into your tight vagina, expanding your love tunnel while he met your lips with his. Your mouths parted and your tongues communicated the instant of union as Cillian’s cock drove slowly into your warm pussy. You were lost in their unity while your reality transformed around them.

‘You feel so fucking good’ Cillian groaned as you were moving in perfect motion with Cillian’s penetration and your thighs were even perforated with the moisture that was coming out of your pussy.

Your rocking continued and you were now joining orally with diatribes as Cillian’s cock bottomed out again and again inside you. ‘Fuck’ you uttered as his big balls pressed against your bottom.

Your warm tunnel was wide for his cock and your eyes were fixed on the mechanistic ramming of Cillian’s body in its hedonistic role.

‘I am cumming…fuck’ you moaned with the ever fastening in and out rhythms that Cillian was delivering to your womanhood. Cillian too was groaning and you put a hand underneath his balls while he pounded you and the car shook.

With your screams and loss of control inside erotic orgasm, Cillian too lost control and filled your cavity with his warm seed.

‘Fuck, Y/N, I love…’ Cillian began to say but, just as he did, there was a nock on the window of the car on the driver’s side next to Cillian, interrupting what he was about to say.

‘Please lower your window…’ a man said from outside and you could see some flashing lights behind where the car was parked.

Tag List:

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@peaky-cillian @queenyshelby

@severewobblerlightdragon @ysmmsy @midnightmystic

#cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x reader

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chrisevansmaid · 3 years

Text

Virginal

Summary: You go to a beach town in search of losing your virginity. The server at dinner is extra cute but it's also young Chris evans.

*this pic is from chris’s twitter*

MUST BE 18+!!!!

I see everyone saying this, so 18+ pleaseeeee. Begoneeeee youngins

Pairing: Chris Evans x female!reader, Young!Chris Evans x minor!reader, (Name inserted but you can switch it to yours)

Word Count: 3393

Perspective: Reader

Warnings: SMUTTT, p in v, mentions of smoking weed / dab pen, oral sex (female receiving), FLUFF AND ANGST, high sex, lowkey rough sex, dirty talk, degrading dirty talk, EXPLICIT sexual content, age gap, minor having sex with non-minor (17F with 20M),

Authors note:

FIRST FIC YAY!!!!!! Don't be mean pls <3.

I’m really bad at tenses so if it keeps switching from present to past tense sorry. The only grammar corrector I’m using is grammarly so if something doesn’t make sense oopsie, I’m too lazy from spending a while on this fic to go anal and analyze every sentence for errors.

Okay so… I’m a pisces which basically means I can never stop daydreaming. Also the backstory is lowkey gonna be my backstory lol. This is how I wished I lost my virginity plus make it Chris evans.

*THIS IS NOT BASED OFF OF CHRIS ITS FULLY FROM MY IMAGINATION*

Idk I'm bored and it's summer so I have nothing to do. YES THIS IS ABOUT A MINOR BUT IN MY STATE THE AGE OF CONSENT IS 16 SO CHILL.

18+ PLEASE STOP READING NOW IF YOU ARE A MINOR

So I’m a virgin. Not because I am a prude or anything, but it never worked. I like to self diagnose so my conclusion is I have vaginismus. That is basically rolled into my cervix/vagina clenches up whenever I try to have sex so no dick fits in and if anything does fit it's incredibly painful. It's not a matter of being turned on cus I could have Niagara Falls in my panties and it still wouldn’t work, trust me. Even being fingered was awful and I’ve been fingered like 10 times and none of them were enjoyable. My sister says I’m just really tight. Idk. I can finger myself and it's good-ish, I mean how far up can you reach with your own hand?

But I’ve had enough of being a virgin and I just want someone to blow my back out. Preferably some sexy older guy. And because I’m sick and tired of having an untapped pussy I’ve devised a plan. I am going to the beach in a week or so and I am going to find the guy who I had my first kiss with and have him fuck me. Or some other hot guy I meet. But to make sure my inhibitions are lowered and my vagina doesn’t clench from nerves I am gonna get a little high before.

1 week later.

My mom, stepdad, and I arrive at the beach and it is so pretty. I love this beach. It brings back so many good memories. I am rooming with my childhood friend, Sarah, and she knows I want to get fucked. We’ve snuck out before and we are so excited for this week. I take a picture of the beach and put it on my Snapchat story with my location tagged. This will let my first kiss know I’m near him so he can hit me up to fuck me.

The day goes by kinda slow because all I could think of was walking up and down the boardwalk trolling for hot men. Finally, night comes and all the families that are at the beach go to dinner. I was kinda bored but then our server came. He was something else.

“Hi my name’s Chris and I’ll be your server tonight.” Ugh. Even his voice made my whole body warm up. His greenish blue eyes stared into my soul as he took my order. His dirty blonde hair was perfectly quaffed and the way his black shirt hugged his biceps was absolutely sinful. Okay yes, he was probably in his early twenties but who said I was ageist. If anything an older man would know how to fuck a woman better than any stupid high school senior that I would meet.

I got up to go to the bathroom and saw Chris on my way. We locked eyes and didn't break contact until I went into the bathroom. As I stepped out of the bathroom I saw him again. It looked like he was waiting for me. His body was leaned up against the wall across from the bathroom I had just exited. He stopped me and said “Call me.” and handed me a piece of paper. Before I had a chance to say anything he turned and I was watching his perfect ass walk away.

I went back to the table as if nothing happened. I don’t think anyone noticed my uncontrollable smile. Throughout the dinner, I could not tear my eyes away from our sexy server. I think Sarah noticed but I was gonna tell her about it when my parents weren’t right there. We finished dinner and all went back to the beach house. When we got back I told Sarah and she was so shook. We were racking our brains on what I should text Chris. I didn’t want to come off too strong but also I wanted this man to fuck me. So we settled on:

“Hey”

Yes. I know it's lame but he’s older defffffinitely older and I can’t act too young. Ugh, I am so scared of his response it's absolutely killing me. Sarah, two other girls that came to the beach, and I decide to go out for ice cream. At least ice cream would take my mind off waiting for a response. As we wait in line I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I pull it out and it’s Chris.

“I thought I told you to call me” His response is very bold but for some reason, it only intrigues you more. Immensely more. I show Sarah and she smiles.

“Guess who’s getting her wish tonight.”

“Oh my god,” I respond. “What do I say?” I am literally so scared that he will think I’m too young or too much of a child.

“Um, don’t say anything. Call him.” Sarah says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Do I actually call him? I’m literally getting the worst knots in my stomach and now I have to shit and I’m literally so nervous over a phone call. I am not a spontaneous person. AT ALL.

“Okay, I’m gonna call him.” I say to Sarah after literally pondering this for 5 minutes.

Oh god. This is so scary. I tell Sarah to get me a vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles and I step out of the line. I go to the walkway near the ice cream shop away from the crowd so I can hear better. I dial his number and put the phone to my ear.

It rings like 3 times and he picks up.

“Hey.” He says and his voice is even sexier than I remember.

“Hey.” I literally didn’t know what to say and I am pacing up and down the sidewalk.

“So you must be the hot girl I gave my number to.”

“And you must be the sexy server.” Some wave of confidence came over me and that was the best response I could come up with.

“So what’s your name?”

“Olivia and if I remember correctly, your name is...” I paused to let him fill in the blank

“Chris.”

“Chris, that's right.” I wanted to come off like I didn’t hang onto every word he said and so I played it off like his name wasn’t already filling my fantasies.

“So Liv, when am I gonna see you again?” He asks and this caught me a little off guard that he would jump straight to the point but I guess why prolong the inevitable.

“I don’t know, when are you free?”

“Can I pick you up tonight around 12?” Ugh yes. My plan was filling out nicely.

“Sounds great.” I mean what else am I supposed to say?

“Send me where you’ll be and I’ll pick you up then.” His assertive tone was a panty fucking dropper.

“Okay. See you then Chris.” I’ve picked up from my previous male experiences that if you say a guy's name he’ll be more inclined to fuck you. I mean I totally pulled that out of my ass but I wanted to sound like a confident vixen, not some 17 year old virgin.

“Bye Liv.” The way he made up a nickname for me had me reddening in my cheeks and warming in my core. I say bye and hang up. As soon as the call ends I’m running back to Sarah and telling her every little detail. Okay, I really needed to get back home and shit.

Sarah, the other girls, and I go back to the house and hang out for like an hour, and then it’s 11 and all the parents are asleep. I need to start preparing. So I take a phat shit and then shower even though I showered before dinner but I need to wash off my nervous sweats. I shave everywhere and when I get out I lotion my entire body, put on my sexy lingerie, and douse myself with perfume. I do my makeup but it’s simple and of course waterproof. I text Chris the address of the beach house but tell him to pick me up a couple houses down. I tell Sarah she needs to sneak out with me so if we get caught I can pretend me and her were just hanging outside the house. Sarah and I sneak out the back and bring her cart. I take a couple hits to calm myself down because god forbid I tense up before he can get his dick in. It's like 11:55. God my stomach is in knots.

It’s 12. ‘Oh god’ I think to myself. I see a white range rover pull up at the end of the block. I say bye to Sarah and walk to the car. I see his face. Oh, fuck still sexy. I open his car door and jump into the passenger seat.

“Hey.” I say

“Hey, Liv.” He says back. Him saying that little nickname he gave me is so much hotter in person. So so so much hotter. I think he knows what it does to me because his lips curl into a smirk. “Let’s go for a drive.” Chris says.

“Okay, I’m down.” I say back and kinda rethinking saying ‘I’m down’ because he is definitely rethinking how old I am.

We start driving around and talking and thank god the radio is on to fill any silence there could be. It’s on the country station and him liking country music is literally another added bonus. Then When it Rains it Pours comes on and I say “Omg I love this song.”

“Really?” He says back. “I’ve never met a girl as pretty as you that actually likes country music.”

“Are you kidding? I love country music.” I say back not noting he just called me pretty. We mindlessly chat for like 20 minutes and Chris pulls the car into an empty parking lot that overlooks the whole beach town.

“This is so pretty.” I say in awe of the gorgeous view. I can see from the corner of my eye that Chris is just looking at me.

“Not as good as my view.” He says back in a soft tone that has me melting to the floor of the car. I look back at him and we sit in silence just staring into each other's eyes. I glance at his lips and they look so kissable. They are the perfect amount of plump without being too big. When I look back to his eyes he is still staring at me. His lips almost form a smile and he grabs and cheek and kisses me. It’s even better than each and every one of my fantasies. I grab the back of his neck and kiss him even harder back. Before I know it the kiss gets more rushed and Chris is running his hands along the curve of my back. Our lips are crashing into each others with fervor like no other. He pulls me into his lap and he ruts his hips upward. He takes his left hand and moves the seat back and starts kissing down my neck. His lips leave little bite marks and he reaches my bosoms. He pulls my tank top down and pulls my breasts out of my bra and sucks on my right nipple as he pinches the left. Soft mewls leave my lips and he stops to look at me and the rush of cold air sends goosebumps across my skin. He leans up and kisses my neck and leaves marks all the way to my ear lobe and whispers “Before I fuck you until you can’t remember your name, How old are you?”

Forming words is harder than I imagined so between pants I say back “17.”

“Perfect” he whispers back while still biting my neck. “Come here” he says as he opens the door. I hop off him and outside the car and see the tent forming in his pants. He picks me up and wraps my legs around him and pins me against the car door. He bites my lip and I can’t imagine anything better than this moment. While still mounted on his he opens the door to the backseat and lays me down. He gets on top of me and shuts the door behind him. He ruts against my core and his jeans rub against the soft fabric of my athletic shorts. Although my mind is completely fixed on his engorged cock a thought forms in my mind. What if he thinks I’ve done this before? What If I’m so bad he doesn’t even speak to me again? These thoughts completely cloud my mind and Chris notices.

“What's wrong?” he says as he pulls away. I glance at his bitten lips and pant trying to form words.

“Nothing just, I... I’m a virgin.” I blurt out. I am so scared I ruined the moment but his expression only intensifies.

“Oh well we just can’t have that now can we?” He says back and his lust blown pupils grow darker and he kisses me with such intensity my thoughts completely leave my mind. I could get drunk off the taste of him. Chris breaks the kiss and rips off his shirt showing his perfectly chiseled abs. I felt them through the cotton but seeing them right in front of my eyes makes my mouth open. My lips peak into a smile and he picks me up and places my back closer to the car door. He rips off my shorts and starts kissing down my neck to my navel and I run my fingers through his hair. My chest rises and falls quicker as his lips reach my red lace covered mound. His teeth grab the waistband and he pulls off my panties.

He inhales and says “So sweet.” His husky voice vibrating against my core. His kisses dance around my thighs. As more sounds leave my mouth Chris bites my skin. His hands hold my legs open as he licks down my folds. His tongue flickers across my clit leaving me trembling. I had never felt this way from anyone ever. My fingers run through his short dirty blonde hair and my nails dig into his scalp leaving crescent shaped indents. He slips his middle finger through my folds as he sucks on my clit. His fingers curl up hitting a spot I never knew existed. A feeling in my stomach starts intensifying and spreading through my entire body and I tremble in euphoria. Chris finger fucks me through my first ever orgasm. I shut my eyes tightly and when I open them Chris is staring right at me. I grab the hair on the nape of his neck and pull him back up to kiss me. I can taste myself still on his tongue as the material of his jeans rubs against my sensitive bud. His fingers pinch my nipples as he slips his tongue between my lips. I reach down and feel his throbbing cock through his pants. As I rub with the palm of my hand, throaty moans leave his mouth. Nothing was stronger than my desire to be fucked raw by this sex god. I pulled away from the kiss and say as I stare deep into his eyes “Fuck me Chris.” My words are efficacious to him.

He licked his lips like an animal locked onto his prey. “Don’t have to ask me twice.” He pulls down his jeans and takes his cock out of his boxers. I have seen a dick before but never that big. My mouth almost dropped to the floor. He pulled a condom out of the back of the seat and wrapped it around his cock. He pumped his dick a few times before running the head along my sodden folds. “You ready?” I had never been more ready for anything in my entire life. Unable to form words I nodded my head. Chris pushes his cock into me slowly. I gasped at the feeling. I wasn’t as tight as I usually was but it still stung. Each inch stung a little more until he bottomed out into me. He stilled. His breath was hot on my ear as our breathing synced. I gasped again as he pulled his hips back. I reached down and pulled him back into me.

“Don’t hold back.” I said. I wanted this to be as enjoyable for him as it was for me. Chris pulled out and thrust back into me again. The groans that left this throat made my pussy clench around him. He picks up his pace and pain turns into pleasure. My legs wrap around his thighs and I’m pulling him into me.

“You dirty little slut. So needy.” He whispered into my ear. The sound that escaped my lips drew him deeper in like a moth to a flame. Chris drives his cock into me faster so that all you can hear is breathy moans and the lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin. Chris moves his hand to my throat and squeezes. I try to moan but they catch in my throat and I look back at Chris. His mouth is agape and he is staring deep into my eyes. He thrusts so deep my eyes roll back and I have to shut them. He grabs my chin and pulls my face to meet his. “Look at me. Don’t look away. I want to see your face as I make you cum on my dick.” His cock is hitting places he didn’t even reach when fingering me. Another orgasm rips through me and my body trembles harder this time. Chris fucks me through my orgasm and just as I regained my mental awareness I could feel another one coming on. Chris squeezes harder on my neck as he sucks on my hardened nipples. He bites my skin and takes his hand from my neck and reaches between our sweaty writhing bodies and pinches my clit. A guttural moan leaves my throat as another excruciatingly intense orgasm takes over my entire body. I can tell Chris isn’t far behind because his thrusts become sporadic and he puts all his body weight into his last thrust and stills. The noises he makes me wish he was still fucking me. He leans down to meet my lips once again but this time it is slower and more gingerly. He pulls his dick out and lays down on top of me.

We catch our breaths and I say. “Wow, that was.. fuck.”

Chris softly laughs and says “Who knew a 17 year old could have me in the palm of their hand.”

“Who knew a however-old-you-are would take my virginity.” I say with a smile on my face.

“I’m 20, I probably should have told you earlier.” He says looking a little guilty.

“Don’t worry it would have only turned me on more.” I laugh back and our lips join in a soft kiss.

Chris and I look at the dashboard and see it's 1:30 am. “Shit I should probably get home before my friend worries too much.” I say looking back at Chris and he nods. We sit up and reach down for our clothes. I reach for my underwear and Chris snatches it from my hands.

“These are mine now.” Chris smirks.

“Fine.” I put on my shorts and pull my top back on. Sadly Chris covers his humongous biceps with his shirt. I lean in and meet Chris with a kiss. We get back into our respective seats and Chris looks at me with a dumb smile.

“Why are you staring at me?” I say with a giggle.

“Oh, nothing.” Chris says and his smile only looks more like a 6 year old who just stole a cookie before dinner. I mean technically he did just steal something but that's beside the point. Chris puts the car back into drive and turns around to back up.

As he drives me home there's more small talk but then he asks “How long will you be in town?”

“A week,” I say. Chris’s dumb smile returns. “Okay, what's that smile for?”

Chris looks at me and says “I’m just excited to fuck you every night this week.”

#chris evans #cevans #firstfanfic #yay #excited #chris evans fanfc #chris evans x reader #young chris evans #chris evans x female reader #chris evans smut #chris evans fluff #chris evans imagine #smut #fluff #beach #stranger smut

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wwilloww · 4 years

Text

you’ve got a friend in me | knj

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Smut

Rating: Explicit

WC: 3k

Summary: Your best friend and roommate proposes an interesting idea to decrease both of your stress levels.

Warnings: Super awkward conversation. Cockwarming. Cockwarming that turns into sex. A sprinkling of dirty talk. Cumshot. Cum eating. Cuddling.

A/N: Thank you to @kinktae for the title and to @ot7always for thirsting with me the other night and inspiring this story into being. Also this piece was written with two glasses of wine and is largely unedited. So proceed at your own risk of grammatical errors.

|| masterlist ||

©wwilloww Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without my permission.

YOU’VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME

You and your roommate had come to a very strange arrangement.

It had developed out of the strangest of circumstances. Two broken hearts. Finals approaching. Namjoon had lost his anxiety medication. You had been working so hard on your latest piece of research that you had ended up neglecting your entire social life.

“I think you should just put it in,” you stand, hands on your hips in the kitchen.

Namjoon is shirking in the doorframe.

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“You were the one who suggested it.”

Namjoon’s eyes widen. “I didn’t mean it!” he defends.

“You can’t just suggest putting your penis in my vagina and think I’ll take it as a joke! You know I take these matters very seriously!”

“Please don’t call it that,” he grimaces. “And yeah, you’re right, you do. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“But you did.”

Fifteen minutes later you were sprawled on your back in Namjoon’s bed with the man himself straddling your waist.

“You could at least take your shirt off,” you suggest. He tugs it off in one go and you make a note to ask him later how he did it so gracefully. “The whole point is literally skin on skin contact.”

He starts to align himself with you before you place a hand on his chest, stopping him.

“Lube, darling.”

“Why?”

“Do you think vaginas are just walking lube machines? It takes work to get all oiled up and ready to go au naturel and I don’t see you doing any of that kind of mechanical labor.”

Namjoon shrugs off of you, grunting as he leans over to the bedside drawer, grabbing an opaque bottle. He squeezes some of the liquid onto his hand and then, eyes darting up to you, very quickly strokes himself to spread the lube thickly and evenly.

Averting his eyes from you, he lines himself up and pushes in. Joon is big and because you haven’t had any preparation you wince just a little when he finally bottoms out.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” you say, wiggling your hips to adjust. “Just, you’re really big. Give me a minute.”

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, doing your best to relax around him. It takes a minute, but you succeed, and finally, a gentle warmth begins to blossom out from your abdomen. When you open your eyes again Namjoon is holding himself as far away from you as possible, his arms trembling with the effort.

“This is supposed to be very good for our relationship, too,” you say, matter-of-factly, as if your best friend hasn’t just shoved his monster dick in your cunt as an act of platonic anxiety management. You take your hand and run it up his arm, beckoning him closer to you.

He feels so snug against you, his weight resting on top of you, suppressing any thought of strangeness or distraction or what you’re supposed to be doing. As you settle into the delightful comfort that is Namjoon, a yawn ripples through your body.

“Am I boring you?” Namjoon gapes. “My dick is in your--your hole, and you’re yawning?”

“Joonie!” you scold. “Unless you want me to be fucking you--like really, genuinely fucking you--I’m going to relax! And you should be as well!”

Needless to say, the first time didn’t go very well.

Two weeks later you are both done with your final projects for the semester and had journeyed out to your favorite pub, O'Reilly’s, for what was probably one too many beers and four too many tequila shots.

“I don’t think we did it right,” Namjoon blurts out as you traipse down the moonlit sidewalk, taking turns swinging around the streetlights.

“Whatcha mean?” you ask, twirling around a pole.

Namjoon laughs and steadies you as you wobble off balance, dizzy from spinning around so many times.

“The, ah, peen, vajayjay cuddle sitch.”

“Cockwarming. It’s called cockwarming, you dumbass.”

“I just mean to say I think we did it all wrong. I should be spooning you rather than on top of you. Like, for the extra cuddles.”

You search his face before speaking slowly. “Is this your way of trying to get me in bed with you?”

“Wha--no! I just genuinely think we did it wrong the first time and owe it to ourselves to try it again. And--” he grins at you. “It would make me feel reaaaaally good.” Your face flushes at his words, but you don’t say anything. “Please, just let me put it in for fifteen minutes.” He does his best impression of puppy dog eyes. “You yourself! You yourself told me that it was good for my health. Hm? Whatcha say to that?”

You laugh. “I don’t know, Joonie.”

He becomes serious. “If you really don’t want to, I won’t push you. Just say the word.”

You bite your lip, considering, even though you already know what you want. You just need to decide what’s right. “Okay,” you say sheepishly, surprised by how shy you feel in the face of your best friend.

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

You peek over your phone at Namjoon as he strips down to his birthday suit as you lay popped up on his pillows.

“Aren’t you going to take your clothes off?” he says, standing fully nude at the foot of the bed. Your eyes trail down his planed chest, trying not to linger too long on the supple definition of his pecs, or the way his skin seems to glow beneath the dim light--and definitely not trying to dawdle on the way his cock is already standing at attention, a thick vein tracking up the underside. You gulp. There’s definitely something to looking at it, that makes you want him in you now.

For cuddling purposes, of course.

“Ah, yeah,” you say, hurriedly undressing and tossing your clothes off to the side of his bed.

“Lube?”

“Um, I think I’ll be okay.”

Namjoon raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything. You flop on your side, presenting your ass to him and he plops down on the bed, shuffling over until he’s pressed against you. You can feel his fingertips fluttering above the skin of your hip.

“It’s okay,” you say softly. “You can touch me.”

His hand comes down on your waist, pressing lightly into you. It’s the simplest of touches and yet it sends goosebumps prickling all the way up your spine.

“And you’re sure you’re okay with this?” Namjoon asks, always the one to be overly clear, even in bed.

“More than okay.” You push your ass back just enough to signal your green light.

You imagine that behind you he’s got his lip caught between his teeth in the way he does when he’s thinking too hard, that he’s looking down at you, hand wrapped around his own cock as he presses up against your pussy.

The sensation of his head spreading through your lips has you biting your tongue, doing your best not to react.

“Relax,” he murmurs in your ear, the hand on your waist coming to brush up and down your side. “Ready?

“Mhmm.”

And with that he’s pushing into you, this particular position leaving you tighter than you were last time. He slides in slowly and you relish in the feeling of his cock head gripping against the ridges of your walls. Finally, he’s fully inside you.

“Ouch,” you grumble, his hip bone pressing uncomfortably into you.

He shifts, his hands on your hips, trying to get you comfortable. But instead of easing the sharp pain, the feeling of his cock shifting within you sends a surprising wave of pleasure through you and you moan. You freeze, clapping a hand over your mouth as if the action could wind back time and erase the lewd utterance that had just slipped through your lips.

“Did you--did you just moan?” Namjoon says astoundedly against your back. You say nothing. “Did you like that?”

“No?” you squeak out, your voice breaking underneath the lie.

Namjoon laughs, a big and belly-full laugh, one that spreads through his whole body. He’s shaking against you, causing his cock to rub delightfully within you, circling rhythmically against your walls. A small squeak of frustration and pleasure forces its way out of your throat.

“Oh my god,” Namjoon says, still cackling. “You like it! You like my cock!”

Even in your compromised position, you manage to cross your arms and pout.

“You keep moving, you dumbo, how do you expect me to react?!”

Why were you so damn sensitive to him today?

“I didn’t expect you to fucking moan like I was making love to you or something!”

As his laughter rolls through him, you can’t help but feel the pleasure build within your cunt, a warmth growing and spreading through your abdomen. It was not only the fact that his cock was pressed deliciously within you, filling you out in a way you had never been filled before, but it was the sensation of his joy, rippling through him, and pressed right up against your back. As much as you wanted to push it away, your years of friendship made it impossible to deny how good it felt to have him here, inside you and so joyously laughing.

“I mean if you keep moving like that you might as well just fuck me!” you say in one final show of frustration.

The arm Namjoon has wrapped around your waist tenses and falls still. You squeeze your eyes shut. Fuck.

And then. And then his cock fucking twitches. You gasp, your cunt clenching involuntarily, wrapping tightly around his length. A shiver shoots up your spine as you instinctively push back on him, taking him even deeper into you. Now, your ass is pressed flush against his pelvis.

Namjoon‘s hand tightens around your waist, the other one slipping beneath your body to wrap around your ribcage and pull your torso flush against his. The two of you are clinging to each other, pressed together as tightly as humanly possible. You bite your lip; your cunt continues to throb around Namjoon, desperate to pull him even deeper, desperate to find some kind of--really, any kind of-- satisfaction.

Wrapped up in his arms, you can almost grasp onto that sense of security and comfort the two of you had set out to find together. It’s there, singing on the edge of your consciousness. But any semblance of peace is split by a desire for more, for him to move against you, to allow your bodies to map each other out in pleasure, for him to fuck you.

As if he’s read your mind, his hips begin to slide backward ever so slowly, as if he means to leave the warmth of your cunt. With the speed of light, you reach your hand behind you, bringing it to his hip. Gripping it--hard--you push him back into you.

“Please,” you whisper.

Namjoon stutters beneath your touch. Your voice is filled with need, a note threading through the sweetness of the sound, urging him forward. Even as your begging turns him to putty, his cock hardens at the thought of you wanting him. Of you needing him. So he grips your hip and twines his other hand up to press between your breasts and drives into you.

The force with which he’s just rammed into you shudders through your entire body. It brushes against something so deep in you, you’re not sure if it hurts or if it’s the best thing you’ve ever felt. The whine that comes out of you splits through the stale air of the bedroom and Namjoon curses at the sound.

“God, you’re so tight,” Namjoon hisses. He nuzzles his head against your neck. When you push back against him, rotating your hips in a circle, his teeth find the skin of your shoulder. He bites down into the skin.

Namjoon is big. As he begins to push in and out of you, his head drags against the slick ridges of your walls, almost as if he barely fits. Your breath comes in pants and gasps as each new sensation rips through you, driving you closer to your own release.

“Joonie, please, harder,” you gasp. He punctuates your question with a particularly strong thrust. “More.”

Namjoon slips the arm he’s got beneath you down to your waist. Now both of his hands are on your hips and he draws his cock out of you slowly until only the head is resting at your entrance. You whine, trying to move your hips in search of any kind of friction, but his tight grip on your hips holds you in place.

“Please!” you gasp, squirming. He chuckles into your ear and the sound goes right through you.

“When you stop squirming, I’ll fuck you.”

You fall limp against his hold, desperate for him. He waits for what seems like forever as you feel the tension in your belly begin to recede.

Your breath is rammed out of you as he snaps his pelvis into your ass so hard you know there’ll be a bruise there tomorrow. He fucks into you, his hips driving with more power. But it’s the grip he has on your hips that makes all the difference. He moves you like a doll to his own will. He maneuvers you at just the right angle that the both of you are gasping in pleasure, his pace unrelenting.

You’ve never come from just vaginal penetration alone, but if he keeps doing this, you think you just might, the force of his thrusts rocketing through your entire body. Still, you reach down, slipping your fingers between your dripping folds, finding your clit. You build up a slow pace, circling around the hardened bud as he continues to ravage your pussy.

The combination of your hand and his cock has you tipping over the edge in less than a minute, the dual stimulation unleashing streams of pleasure you’d never known before. You throw your head back, your mouth stretched in a silent “oh.”

Namjoon lifts his head to press his cheek against yours, the sweat of your skin sticking the two of you together. He can hear the way your breath comes out, ragged and in tatters. And still, he never falters.

At this point he is chasing his own pleasure. His pace slows slightly as he circles his hips against your ass, relishing in the way your cunt spasms around him, flooding him with warmth and the delicious drip of your cum.

As you regain your senses, the feeling of his cock drawing through your sensitive folds is overwhelming.

“Too much,” you gasp, the sensation sending sparks through your body.

“Can you take it for just a bit longer?” he gasps.

You close your eyes, taking in a deep breath. “Yes,” you breathe, finding pleasure in the overwhelm and wanting to see him come undone for you. His thrusts have become fast and sloppy, losing some of the power and replacing it with speed. You can hear him whining against you, the sound so need-filled and wanton that you can’t help but clench around his length again.

You reach back, your hand brushing up against his side so softly and delicately. It’s this that has him squeezing his eyes shut and attempting to hold back the stampede of his orgasm.

“It’s okay, you can let go,” you say. “I wanna see you cum for me.”

His hips stutter to a full stop. He pulls out of you and you whine at the loss of him as he comes to kneel over you, one thigh on either side of your hips.

You watch as his head tips back, his lip caught between his teeth. Somehow the crease between his brow is the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen. His hand works over his cock with quick, practiced strokes. You want to memorize the way his wrist twitches, the way his fingers quickly circle his head, or the flex of his forearm when he tightens his grip as he nears the base of his cock.

“I-I’m cumming,” he groans. You look back up to his eyes, now open and looking down on you, unfocused as he takes in your bare body spread before him. He’d never thought he’d have you like this, but now that he does, he’s not sure how he’ll ever go back.

“Cum on me,” you command. “I want it, Joonie.”

With a groan, Namjoon grips his cock tighter and sends spurt after spurt onto the softness of your stomach, some of it landing directly in your belly button.

He collapses onto the bed next to you, sprawled out and panting. You gaze over at him lovingly, stretching out your hand to brush the sweat-soaked hair out of his eyes. You stay like that for a minute, him panting, you just watching him, before you come to your senses.

“I wouldn’t call that relaxing, but it definitely made me feel better,” you joke.

Namjoon pushes you gently, a grin spreading across his face.

“I should probably go, uh, wash up,” you finally say, sitting up on your elbows.

“Stay?” Namjoon flops on his side, fluttering his eyelashes in a poor attempt at begging. “Please?”

“If I’m being honest, I really don’t want to fall asleep with your cum in my belly button,” you laugh.

Namjoon leans over the bed to grab something before rolling back to you--and over you-- somewhat crushing you in the process. With his weight resting on your legs he looks up at you, his gaze intense as he dips his head down to your belly button, lapping up the cum that’s come to collect in the valley of your stomach.

Heat floods your cunt as you watch the white release rest on his pink tongue before he closes his mouth and swallows. You gulp.

When he’s done, he takes the t-shirt he’d grabbed and gently wipes you down, his movements gentle and

“You’ll stay?”

“I’ll stay. Just tonight.”

“Just tonight.”

Namjoon grins at you, his dimples showing, before he pulls you against his torso in a position now all too familiar to you.

|| masterlist ||

#ksmutclub #btsgoldnet #btswriterscollective #bangtanarmynet #hyunglinenetwork #namjoon smut #rm smut #knj smut #smut #fanfic #bts fic #rm #namjoon #knj #bts #bts ff #bts smut #friends to lovers #spooning

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stories-about-cheating-women · 3 years

Text

Reddit gf leaves dead bedroom

Going to write this while it’s still etched in my mind, just gonna be straight up honest here. I’m writing this for masturbation material so it’s gonna be pretty explicit. Fair warning, this is long.

Small bit of context. Boyfriend has low test levels. Refused for nearly 5 years to change it, I haven’t had an orgasm in two years and after getting desperate I asked if I could see other men. Matched with this guy on bumble and met up with him a few times, got a small crush on him and I wanted him to have sex with me badly so as soon as we swapped STD test results we went for it. In short.

It was incredible. Like it was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had and by far my best sexual experience.

Before getting into this I talked to the bumble guy and told him my situation so he’s aware, he told me tonight he knows I’ve only had sex with one man and I’m in a serious relationship etc and if I want to back out or just watch a movie we can do that. I said no, I was determined to follow through. I was actually a little offended that he was talking to me like I was innocent so I began to feel up his crotch and I straddled him.

We went at it for a few minutes before he put his hands on my ass and picked me up, taking me in his arms and walking me to the bedroom. I loved it, I felt like a princess as he held me, it was borderline romantic. He put me down on the bed and began to stroke my thighs as we made out further, it wasn’t long until we were both wearing nothing but our underwear. He ran his fingers gently over my boobs and grinned, I pushed his hands off playfully and told him to take his pants off. He was quick to comply.

Now I’d seen photos of his dick before but seeing it in person was something else, it was very, VERY intimidating to say the least. He said he’s a bit over 8 inches and that’s certainly believable, his thickness was what scared me the most, he was almost as thick as my wrist. He looked at me quizzically so I quickly took my bra off and crawled over the mattress towards him. Hopefully I didn’t appear to be too awkward as I started to jack him off, my boyfriend is about 5 inches so that’s what I’m primarily used to and working with a penis this size was a real process. This guy was also uncut so that was another new toolset I had to work with.

I put my mouth over his dick and slowly began to blow him. I don’t think I did a great job as I was out of practice, nervous and I wasn’t used to deal with one that thick but he seemed to enjoy himself regardless. I couldn’t get it very far down but I kept flicking my tongue on the tip while slowly moving up and down until I had about half of it in my mouth and judging by his moans, it was much appreciated.

After about 5 minutes of that he put his hands on my face, kissed me and moved my body so I was on my back looking up at him. He looked at me questioningly and I nodded as he began to pull my panties down my legs and removed them from my body. He smiled at me reassuringly before gently slipping a finger inside me, by this point I was very wet and knew I could take more so I told him as much. He put two fingers in then three, he started to move his fingers around and I just weakly smiled and closed my eyes as I took in the feeling. He continued with that for a few minutes, stretching me out with his finger to prepare me. After a while I heard him open a plastic container, he began to coat his hands in lube. The aching feeling I had when I felt the coldness of the lube on his fingers enter me was indescribable, my mouth was actually watering as he worked away to coat my insides with it. Once he pulled his hands from me and began to apply lube to himself, that’s when I really started to get nervous, the reality of the situation finally hitting me. I was about to let a man I’d known for a few weeks fuck me. I was honestly pretty tempted to back down but I couldn’t find the words, I stayed quiet and he got back on the bed and positioned himself over me. I brushed my thoughts aside and began to make out with him again.

As we were kissing I began to feel tugging feeling on my clit, his hands were still all over my hips feeling me up so I realised that had to be his dick pressed against my crotch. It felt so wrong but so good too, I felt like I was doing something wrong and it was a huge turn on.

After a few minutes of kissing and groping he pulled away, I smiled and shakily said I was ready. He kissed me softly once more before putting a hand on his penis and pushing it inside me. I don’t know why but I shivered slightly when he entered me, I wasn’t cold at all but it just happened. He started slow, barely putting the tip in to gauge how I’d react, I smiled and he pushed a bit more before stopping, after that I lost patience, wrapped my hands round his neck and pulled his face to mine, driving his dick into me in the process. He pushed a little more and I felt my vagina stretch to accommodate him, he was fully in, as far as he could go. I had a mini panic attack and took several deep breaths as I adjusted. Having him in me was quite the experience. It was... tight, not painful thankfully but very tight. I panicked a little but he pressed a hand gently over my mouth before I could say anything and told me just to be still for a couple of minutes. We did that and it was surprisingly intimate. We didn’t kiss, we just looked each other in the eye as his dick sat motionless inside me.

After what felt like forever but was probably only a few minutes he looked at me with a cute little smile and asked me if I was okay, I sorta nodded and he asked me again more assertively and I told him I was. He called me a “good girl” which drove me nuts for some reasons, he began to slowly move out, the head of his penis stopped right at the entrance to my vagina, we smirked at each other for a moment before he pushed himself back inside me with a sigh.

As he thrusted into me gently I stretched my arm down the length of our bodies and began to softly stroke his balls as he began to pick up the pace, it felt incredible. Before long I lost my focus and just gave into the moment, wrapping my legs around him as I did my best to just hold on. I’m pretty awkward with noises so I usually try and stay quiet beyond some soft moaning but with this I was pretty much panting as he worked on me. It felt incredible. I enjoy sex but I’m usually more of an oral kinda girl but this was just so much better. I don’t know if it was due to his size or the length of time since I’d last gotten laid but I felt everything so much more here. It was quite literally orgasmic.

He also kept deliberately making his dick twitch while it was in me and oh my god it feels so good, it’s only a minor physical sensation but there was something so nice about it that just sets me off and really gets me going.

Now as I said, I’m not much of a moaner but the warmth, sensation and the moment got to me. I wasn’t conscious, not really, I was just there as he was laying into me. I made noises I never knew I could make without trying to make them. I think I even giggled at one point, there wasn’t anything funny going on I was just so high on emotions and lost control of my inhibitions and let loose.

Soon enough I felt a warmth began to fester in my feet before working its way up my legs, I giggled slightly and shivered again as I had my first orgasm of the night. It was lovely, in that moment I felt so close to him and honestly it’s the happiest I’ve felt in a good while, it was very liberating to just be there with another person so close to me and feel that good.

The emotions definitely were there as I actually started to cry after cumming. I think it was a mixture of pleasure and feeling overwhelmed. I’d never kissed another man let alone this and I felt guilty that had just orgasmed to another man thrusting inside me. I kept thinking about my boyfriend and how he would feel if he knew about this, I know I had his permission but still it was a lot to process. I’d always assumed we’d be happily married by now, not him being at home and me being in a strange man’s bed. Life’s weird. The worst part was as guilty as I felt my priority was still what I had in front of me and the event at hand, I’d come here for sex and that’s what I needed.

He told me we could stop if I wanted to but I just shook my head and asked him if we could please continue. He wiped some tears from my cheek and started to kiss me passionately, cuddling me as he pressed his weight onto me, pushing me down into the mattress. I just pressed my face to his neck and closed my eyes as I felt his dick begin to move about inside of me once more. What followed next was the longest orgasm I’ve ever experienced. I don’t know how long it was exactly but it was damn close to 10 minutes of fairly consistent pleasure. It was honestly so good I thought I might faint. It was blissful.

Before long my sighs were met with his, his pace intensified and lost its tempo as he got more wild and he began to pretty much thrash about inside me, he was literally pounding me me so hard he had to hold my shoulders to stop me from hitting my head against the backboard. He growled slightly in my ear as he came inside me, it felt great. His cock kept twitching uncontrollably and I fucking loved it. To me having a guy cum inside you is one of the highest praises you can get.

Afterwards he went out to pick us up some food, when he got back we ate and chatted before deciding to go for another round. This time I rode him on the couch until we both came. I’m no longer intimidated by his size, I definitely couldn’t take it without being warmed up but I now know I can take it and at quite a pace. I’m actually quite proud of myself for taking such a big dick without much struggle, definitely underestimated myself on that front.

It’s been a few hours since our last session and surprisingly, I’m not too sore, there wasn’t any blood and other than a little discomfort early on I was fine. I have quite a deep vagina and I practised with toys around his size beforehand so I was pretty well prepared for it. He’s asleep right now and I’m just in his bed watching Netflix with subtitles on, hopefully we can go another round or two in the morning before I go home.

This has definitely been a fun short term things and I definitely plan on doing this again. Long term I really don’t know what I want, I just know I can’t stay in a sexless relationship anymore. I talked with this guy about all of this and he’s obviously willing to fuck me as much as I want him too so I can at least get laid but the reality is I’m not happy in my relationship. I thought I was but I’m just not. I love my boyfriend so much but just from doing this I developed a connection with this guy that I haven’t had with my boyfriend in literal years. He’s not willing to put in any effort for our sex life so it’s just become my sex life and I have to do what I need to do.

Anyway, that’s my confession I guess Feel free to PM me if you want to chat! Just don’t be too weird please.

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markpellegrinoimagines · 2 years

Text

Chained Love pt 2

I would like to apologize for how long its been since I posted an imagine or drabble...I've been working on a spn fanifc novel over in fanfiction.net called Forbidden Feathers, its a sister fic that goes across all 15 seasons. I'm currently writing season 1.

Anywho enjoy part 2 to chained Love.

Warnings: smutty goodness, hint of breeding kink, mentioned brothers doing shotty things, protective future mama bear.

^#&@^&@

3rd pov.

It's been several months since the deal between Y/n and lucifer, the one she lost, not that she was going to complain. It's been the most relaxed few months she's ever had. No self hate for all the lives she's taking. No dirty abandoned buildings, and especially zero half brothers who decide every aspect of your life just because you were born with a vagina.

Lucifer was actually quite attentive, he has his moments but a quick roll in the sheets was enough to calm him down. Although it never stops at just round 1. His angelic stamina keeping him going for hours until all his rage, anger or whatever is he was feeling in the moment has run its course.

He even let's her hunt the few times she's needed some air, a ghost hunt here and there nothing wrong in her mind with putting an angry spirit to rest.

Lucifer first saw the little Winchester as a means to escape whether it be the Winchester boys or even boredom but as time passed he found himself enjoying her presence. She is a feisty and rebellious spirit that got him going even over the smallest things. He watched her eat a burger yesterday and had to physically restrain himself from hauling her off to their room.

Lucifer pov.

My eyes rove lazily across the words on the page In front of me. Y/N had insisted on a library being within the place they would hide out. Of course he'd never admit to enjoying relaxing in there with a random book while she was busy elsewhere in the home. 'Stupid girl...making me wait on her, what's taking her so long..she was supposed to be out of the shower by now and paying attention to me.'

His feet refruse to stay still, his shoe tapping against the edge of the arm rest of the recliner he was laying across.

'I can't take this anymore' standing from the couch I make my way out into the small foyer of the home, looking for any sign of her being done. Nothing had changed in the last hour so with a rustle of feathers I find myself in the bathroom. Right in front of her.

There is no sound of running water, not the sink and definitely no shower. I gaze upon her confusion, her hair was drenched so she hadn't lied about bathing.

But her eyes were downcast, she was slouched on the toilette her shoulders sagging. Her hands were clutched around some device as tears leaked down her cheeks. But he feels no sadness from her soul intact she felt lighter...more pure...

'She has been crying, yet she isn't sad...?'

Her eyes snap up to meet my own as a timid smile crawls across her face, "Luci...I'm pregnant." The statement was blunt and thrown right out into the open, no hesitation.

Y/n pov.

I look upon at lucifer allowing him to process. I had gotten the yest last week during once of my ghost hunts. I'd been nauseous all week leading up to it, and I don't think he'd realized but Lucifer had started to becoming increasingly protective.

I knew I couldn't try to hide it from him and even knowing how dangerous this was going to be I refused to keep it from him. I knew what my brothers had done, even though they all had tried to hide it from me knowing I wouldn't approve. They had convinced that government lady to abort Lucifers child.

Stealing away Lucifers chance at a family who wouldn't hate him. I refused to do that to him again. So I sat and waited for him to respond. I didn't expect for a familiar heat to enter his eyes nor the sudden pressure of his lips on mine. I barely had a chance to breathe with the fierceness of his kissing. Bruising my lips and marking them for his own.

His hands run up my legs starting at my ankles and then spreading across my thighs. I have to bite back the moan in my throat as his lips trail down my neck. The searing cold of his skin leaving a trail of goosebumps everywhere he touched.

He hooks his hands under my legs and swiftly lifts my from the toilet seat. With a rustle of feathers and the feeling of being weightless for only a moment, the soft fabric of our bed caresses my back as he settles his weight above me on our red satin sheets.

3rd pov.

When he had heard her say those words he couldn't explain the sudden urge to have her under him. He was surprised by how his body heated up almost immediately at the thought of her carrying his child.

He felt that he definitely say he was happy at the news, it was another chance for himself. But what surprised him was the small hint of worry that actually wiggled into his heart at the thought of the little Winchester possibly not surviving or being injured from the process. He had become quite fond of her after all.

Pushing those thoughts away for later he looks down at the human under him. She was smiling up at him with a faraway dazed look. It was one of the things that drew him to her. She held no judgment. For almost anything. Hell he saw her help a ghoul of all things recently. She was one of a kind.

In that moment gazing down at her. Her (h/l) (h/c) hair contrasting again the (s/c) of her face he decided he'd do everything in his power to keep her at his side. Along side the life growing within her.

Within moments their lips meet again frenzied with lust, her towel is ripped sway and with a snap of fingers lucifer is left bare. They waist no time in foreplay.

With a sharp thrust lucifer is buried to the hilt. He buried his face into her neck, arms braced on either side of her caging her body underneath his own. Shielding her from the outside world as his hips snap into hers.

The pace is deep and thourough. She can feel every inch spear her open and spread her open with delicious euphoria.

Her moans echo in the room harmonious with his own grunts and growls. His deep voice grumbling broken enochian into her ear. Claiming her as his own.

The room is filled with the orchestra of their lust as the shadow of his wings spread out taking up the space above them.

"Fuck...touch them.." his growl is broken and filled with arousal. His need was beginning to become painful in how badly he wanted to claim her.

Her hand fly up the the shadowed mass. Burying her fingers into it as she is thrown off the cliff of her own orgasm. Her fingers clenched down on his feathers and with a strangled moan he buried himself deep finding his own end.

They lay there together. Y/n catching her breath as Lucifer clutches her possessively to his chest.

"Lucifer...my brothers can never find out about this...I refuse to let anything happen to this baby...you deserve to raise it and have it be there with you." He stares down at his little human in awe. She was willing to go against her family to make him happy.

Nuzzling into her hair and pulling his wings and the bed sheets in close around her he wispers unto her ear.

"Nothing will ever take either of you away form me, I won't allow it..your mine."

^#&@&

I know it's not what anyone was expecting, but holy shit I've been obsessed with overprotective daddy luci lately.

@waddles03 @scarecrowandmrking @sirlsplayland @lucifer-in-leather @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @lucifers-perfect-angel @cracked-treetopper-angel @wheresurmoose @w0lfx @blakechaos08 @blackswan90265

#mark pellegrino #lucifer #supernatural #spn #lucifer one shot #supernatural lucifer

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honeyandbloodpoetry · 3 years

Text

Gender Thoughts Pt 1 and 2

The first time I put a binder on, a little under a week ago, I felt euphoric. Ever since I hit puberty very early on, I felt uncomfortable with my breasts. They never felt right on me, and even though I’ve come to love them sometimes, they still don’t always feel like they match up. I hated how people always looked at them, pointed out how much they showed in low cut shirts when I never even noticed they were--or even wanted them to. They were just there. I liked the way low cut shirts feel and look on me, I just can’t help these giant sacks of flesh that sit on my chest.

Except...now I can! I ran my hands over my smooth chest, feeling bright. I looked into the mirror, and felt something warm wash over me. I put on my new masculine clothes, letting my partner clip on my new suspenders. I realized that I was shaking as I looked at myself again… I looked like a boy. I felt like a boy. Like a man. And I liked it. I wanted it. Admitting that to myself was like coming home.

I remember being in sixth grade, walking around the track for my civil air patrol class. I had been slotted in with the rest of the girls, the boys walking ahead of us. I remember feeling uncomfortable being shoved in with only girls, and looking at the gaggle of boys ahead. The exact thought that whispered in my brain was “I wish I was a boy. I want to be like them, with them.” I never forgot that moment, and how strange it made me feel. How it was easier to shake that thought away, and dismiss those feelings. Except they never really left, did they?

I remember sitting on my bed, crying with my best friend kneeling in front of me. I remember telling her how I didn’t like feeling like a woman all the time. That I wished I could be a black shadow, monstrous, androdynous. Specifically like Venom. She took my hand, did my makeup all in black and helped me pick out the perfect black outfit to achieve that dark, gothic look. I was so incredibly happy and validated. But I still felt like something was missing.

I remember going into an Adam and Eve for laugh, not expecting much since I am an asexual with a low libido. I remember seeing packers and feeling my chest tighten. I never liked my genitalia--I had wished for a cloaca or something akin to that, but since that was biologically impossible for a human… I sometimes wished I had the opposite of a vagina. I frequently imagined what it would be like to have a penis. I frequently lamented the fact that I didn’t have one. I took the box up to the counter to ask some questions, my dress swishing as I went. The cashier told me it was for trans people only, and a girl like me couldn’t have it. She didn’t know what asexuality was, and had tried polyamory once but decided it was bad when her girlfriend kissed her boyfriend. I was upset, disheartened, and left the store empty handed feeling frustrated and lost.

I remember finally cutting the long, curly locks that had frustrated and imprisoned me for so long. Seeing all of my hair fall to the floor, staring into the mirror as the barber buzzed the back of my head… It made me want to cry tears of joy. It was the first time in my entire life that I had looked at my hair and was happy. The first time I could look in the mirror and feel like myself. Then I remember wanting to go shorter, and my barber encouraging me to keep it a little longer so I didn’t look manly, so I could still be soft and feminine. The way my stomach dropped and the sick feeling in my chest only increased when he began to make fun of the gay men who came down the street near his favorite restaurant. I never saw that barber again. I instead found a nice local place down the road from my apartment, where the kind lady cut it all off without question, other than “Why?” and accepted my warm “It makes me happy. It makes me feel beautiful.”

But wearing that binder for the first time? It was as if a beam of light had funneled its way directly into my heart. I felt like a handsome man, with just a little bit of striking man boob, and it felt so right. My partner called me a dashing boy and my heart began to race. I still feel his hand tracing my jawline as he called me handsome, and the butterflies it sent up through my belly, even after more than eleven years.

I love my partner--he identifies as agender and primarily masculine, and has been on the lookout for a good pair of size thirteen shoes to wear with a dress. They also wear joggers and flip flops and graphic tees and can’t seem to stop talking about the ocean and outer space. They’re probably one of my biggest inspirations for finding myself, and being authentically me.

I’m not super sure who or what I am right now. I’m still figuring that out, but I’m pretty sure I’m somewhere between agender and genderfluid. I feel like me more than anything else, but all pronouns make me feel good. I feel like all of them and none of them at once, but I swing between wanting to be feminine and masculine pretty strongly, though I enjoy being masculine most of all--even when I’m wearing dresses and pink. I feel like a beautiful person in a dress or a button down, no matter what gender I feel like today or tomorrow.

I am me. And I am one dashing boy, and one beautiful girl.

4 July 2021

XXX

Since first writing this little essay, I’ve been doing a lot more examination of my gender. I have come to the conclusion that I am transmasc and nonbinary, and am shaky on the title of genderfluid. I am feeling less and less like a woman--if anything, occasionally adjacent to a woman rather than actually being one. I love feeling like and presenting as a man. I have my first appointment with a gender services doctor at my local community clinic for consultation on starting hrt testosterone. I am planning to start with low dose first, and see how I feel.

I am still unsure of my exact identity, but I have found great euphoria with being and presenting as a man. I love being a man and everything that entails. I have loved myself like never before. Being with my partner is amazing, and he has been endlessly supportive--even recounting little things they had noticed throughout the years. One of the funniest being that I only ever referred to my body parts--my belly, hands, hair, genitalia--with masculine pronouns. I always seemed to see my body as male even if I had a certain sort of dissonance from it.

Coming out has been difficult. I have had both positive and negative experiences from it. I have been told going on testosterone would be self harm, and that I can’t be something I’m not. I’ve had coworkers I trusted out me without my permission. But I have also had positive affirmation, polite questions, and discussions. I am terrified to tell my mother and her boyfriend--I have no idea how they will react and am terrified that I will be disrespected and disowned.

But I am prepared to do whatever it takes to be my happiest and most authentic self.

I have been binding a lot more often, wearing sports bras for long shifts at work, and occasionally going without either when I feel like letting my man boobs hang free. I’ve had the delightful experience of going to a men’s big and tall store and finally wearing pants. I grew up as a fat girl and felt as if I had to perform high femininity to be taken seriously and be treated well--and had been told by someone I trusted that I was too fat to wear pants, which I heavily internalized. So I had completely cast them away in favor of dresses and skirts, bows and gaudy jewelry. Realizing that I could wear pants was...totally wild. That I could be comfortable and look good in pants and shorts, and that it didn’t matter what people did or thought of me was life changing. Maybe I’ll feel like being feminine again someday, but right now this masculinity and masculine clothing, with perhaps the added spice of funky earrings, feels like home.

I also grew up autistic and with PCOS, both which I think have affected my gender identity. Being autistic, I truly struggled to connect to others socially, and especially to understand societal norms. Being a proper woman felt like I was making up for everything else I was lacking--I may have been awkward, semi-verbal and weird with no friends, but at least I was cute and girlish. I never connected to womanhood though, and always felt out of place no matter how hard I tried. With PCOS, I had heightened testosterone, which meant wider breasts and shoulders, a lack of periods, and excessive body hair. I recall the endocrinologist asking high school age me if I had excessive body hair around my stomach, breasts, etc. and my mother jumping to say no I didn’t...even though I did. I remember suddenly feeling very self aware and ashamed of something completely natural, and even something I started to enjoy. I started shaving my entire body then.

I even remember being in middle school, and thinking nothing of my hairy legs. In fact, I loved my body hair and how it felt. A rude girl began making fun of me though, tutting her tongue as she cooed, “Aw, does your mommy not let you shave?” Among other things, all throughout many years of severe bullying and abuse. I remember feeling ashamed, but not knowing why, and immediately shaving my legs, covering them in nicks from my shaky and unsteady hands, that same night.

So many things set me back in my gender expression. So many things contributed to me willful ignorance and denial. I remember wanting to be butch, and everyone in my life laughing at me and saying I was too soft for that. That sweet, sharp ache in my chest. I remember going to a salad bar with my mother, wearing a button up and telling her I wanted to wear some more boyish clothes around that same time--I had already told her that I was bi sometime earlier. I remember her lip curling, looking uncomfortable, and telling me that I better not become one of those boy girls. My late father was very vocal in denouncing homosexuality and specifically men loving men--something which always sat horribly wrong with me on a deeper level.

I think I might ending up being a trans man. I am still unsure and figuring myself out, but I struggle greatly with the autistic need for sameness vs. the trans need for change. My sapphic love of women has always been very important to me, and fully becoming a man rather than genderfluid is scary for that very reason. I am still navigating my identity and what it means to me and my reality--but no matter what, being a man, being masculine is integral to who I am.

I was called a “sir” at a job interview for the first time the other day, and nearly began to bawl from sheer joy. The gender euphoria from that and so many moments is worth so much more to me than the years of suffering and ignorance and my ongoing struggles with dysphoria. I finally got a packer and have had help from my partner in learning to position it properly--I am thinking of cutting my hair even shorter. I have almost perfected a pretty basic tie tying skill. Okay, not really, but I’m getting there. I feel deep inside that even though my father loved me, he would not like who and what I am. Still, I wear the last watch he ever wore, and hope to be a good man like him--and to learn from the toxic parts of him to be an even better man.

I am very excited to start hrt. I am terrified of hair loss and vaginal atrophy, but I look forward to so much more. I cannot wait for bottom growth and body hair, for the voice drop that will hopefully get me misgendered less. I have always felt disconnected from my voice and look forward to getting to know it better as it changes with me. I look forward to meeting with new facial hair. Working out and growing muscle. I just look forward to my second puberty and becoming more like myself. I look forward to navigating and exploring my gender even further, both with loved ones, support groups, and myself.

More than anything, I am just happy to be me.

25 August 2021

#transmasc #ftm #ftx #gender #genderqueer #transgender #trans #lgbt #lgbtq #trans man #nonbinary #genderfluid #poets of tumblr #spilled thoughts #gender expression #low dose t #hrt

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