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#and them still having the same names is also seems to be why they aren't allowed to literally grow and be aged up at all
box-dwelling · 2 days
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I'm gonna be completely honest when I say that the thing that really really rubbed me the wrong way about the toshiro situation is the way he treats fallin in comparison to Laios. I'm not saying that Laios wasn't doing a considerable number of microagressions against him, he absolutely was. And Toshiro is right to be exhausted and furious about that. But the thing that gets me is how fucking similar the toudens are.
I do not care about him "getting in the way of farcille" I ship it but honestly when he was first introduced I really liked him and was out here shipping him too. I don't have any issue with the proposal, which is a clearly stated cultural difference. The fight scene is heartrenching for any autistic person to watch but also, he isn't exactly doing ok right there. He's in a very rough traumatised place, I get why he would lash out.
The thing that gets me is how so many of the characteristics he demonises in Laios he romanticises in Fallin and as an autistic person that feels really gross? Given these are mostly autisitic traits. It's an interesting complexity to him in a vacuum but outside of it, where autistic women are so often erased and the quirky manic pixie dream girl concept is so fetishised while having overlap with neurodivergent people it feels very uncomfortable.
Truthfully we never see Fallin do the same microagressions which may be a reason Toshiro didn't lash out at her and could see them in a more postive light. But she still seems to call him Shuro which isn't his name and her and laios are so similar that I feel like she likely had a similar reaction just, because he had feelings for her, it didn't seem as unwanted. Again that's an interesting and sympathetic thing within a vacuum but outside of it it makes me uncomfortable for the same reason I think it would be completely reasonable for someone who has had to deal with racial microagressions all their life to dislike Laios because of it
I'm not saying there is not racism isn't a part of the backlash, but I really did want to clarify exactly what made me start to dislike him. There is very good reasons for a lot of his actions towards Laios, but I'm never going to be able to see someone saying a gender they aren't attracted to showing autistic traits is annoying and a gender they are attractive to showing them is cute and not be made uncomfortable with that.
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space-specs · 1 year
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Dick Grayson 🤝 Roy Harper
Sidekicks successfully able to move beyond their mentor and more well-known for their own individual vigilante identity now.
Stephanie Brown 🤝 Bart Allen
Original heroes that carried a couple legacy names before going back to their own unique hero names.
Tim Drake 🤝 Conner Kent
Stuck in the same name retelling the same stories and unable to fully grow as a character because DC can't seem to give them their own unique identities that would allow them to move on past this narrow idea of their characters.
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charmedreincarnation · 6 months
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When I say that this journey is real, and our struggles are not in vain, I am shouting it from the rooftops. A month ago, I woke up with my dream life. Obsessed with the "void state", I woke up one day being the same person but with an entirely new life. All because I chose it.
Your efforts aren't going unnoticed. The universe is always on your side. You are the universe. It's been a month, and I still feel overwhelmed with joy and wonder every single day.
I was once poor and battling depression, a reality many can relate to. But we found the law because we knew we deserved more. You can be ordinary, flawed, even unkind, but you can choose to transform and have it all. And I did just that. My parents, who were illegal immigrants working underpaid jobs, are now wealthy and respected figures. My last name alone garners recognition, and I am a socialite earning money just by being me.
I used to live in an attic infested with cockroaches. Now, I reside in a four-story mansion, complete with exotic cars, house help, cooks, drivers - all treated and compensated fairly. We also own three other houses across the United States.
I was once insecure, severely underweight, and bullied. Today, not only am I stunningly beautiful, but I am also praised for my fashion sense. I was once a dull person, but now I am radiant with positivity.
I attended an underfunded school where I was bullied, and teachers lacked resources to intervene. Now, I study at a prestigious private school that assures my entry into an Ivy League university. Finally, I am respected and appreciated.
I was lonely and uninteresting. Now, I am vibrant with a close-knit group of friends and a man who seems straight out of a Wattpad story. He's perfect, and he's mine.
This transformation happened overnight. And I've been on this journey since 2020. But how??? I surrendered to my imagination!
The void was overwhelming, but now I can easily navigate it. I was tired of giving my power away. So, I gave in to myself, to my dreams. I knew I deserved it. Even if I didn't believe it at times, I made the choice. If you desire something, it's already yours. It's done.
I didn't have a list or anything of my desires, just a vision of happiness. I didn't know what it looked like, but I knew how it felt. Now, I embody that feeling every day. My life is a series of plot twists. It's not perfect, but my worst days now are what I once prayed for. That old life? POOF It's gone. All I have is now, and I'm living it to the fullest.
My advice?
Stop seeking proof. If you're looking for proof, you'll never manifest your dreams because the only thing that needs to change is self. Doubt is a reflection of your disbelief in yourself. When I surrendered to my imagination, it didn't matter who was lying or telling the truth, because I had my truth. The burden of proof lies within you. It's called the law of assumption. You might harbor some doubt, but you must have faith like the devout. They believe without proof. You can too! We all can! Believe in yourself, and the universe will conspire in your favor!!!!
I agree! Your words resonated with me a lot. Faith, particularly self-faith, is such an important tool in shaping our realities. The ability to trust ourselves, our desires, and our potential is essential in manifesting our dream life, and it’s only so beautiful to slowly see yourself give yourself all your trust when you’ve never even liked yourself.
You're spot on about the issue of seeking confirmation from others. It's an unnecessary hurdle that we give ourselves but it’s human nature. Our truths and dreams should not be validated by anyone else but us. As you said, why should it matter if someone lied or told the truth? We are the creators of our own lives and thus, the only validation we need comes from within.
And I wholeheartedly agree with your point about deservingness. We don't have to earn our desires or prove ourselves worthy of them. If we want something, that desire alone makes us deserving of it.
More importantly I am very proud and happy for you !!!! You’re a testament of what our own imagination can do for us and I hope you only keep getting happier and happier <3!!!!
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0luv9 · 1 month
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forlorn || mattheo riddle
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Summary: based on this request.
Beware: angst, fluff, slightly aged-up characters, Hufflepuff reader, sweet reader, she/her pronouns used, mostly in second person, jealousy, mistreatment, a little bit of blood, slightly commanding(?) and intimidating Mattheo.
Words: 7.8k (not beta read)
Note: I am sorry luv, I don't think I did justice to the request. I also apologize for taking so long. I still hope you like it, even if it's just a bit. @cat-loves-music
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Mattheo Riddle, son of Voldemort, or Tom Riddle if you will—for a more humane approach. But then, there's no humanity in the way he's treated. Always an outsider, always a monster.
There is wealth to his name; after all, he is the only living heir of Salazar Slytherin. However, his blood is corrupt, shunned by the very people who kissed the steps his baby feet took. Looked down on by the blood supremacists and not accepted by the other side, the "good side."
Even he was tired of the same sob story. He doesn't even need to introduce himself; they already have a preconceived image of him in their minds. He could try to fix his image in an ideal world, but even then, what would he say?
'Hello, everyone, I'm Mattheo Riddle, son of the man who once threatened your lives. Please welcome me with warm hands.'
Too cliché? Yes, but it's true and the only truth he knew.
Riddle didn't even know why the name Riddle was cursed and didn't know what his father did that made everyone's hate transcend generations. What made their hatred justified and his hate a crime? He didn't know until it was too late.
Mattheo was raised by the only living relative of his, his mother's aunt—the one who died recently. The one who kept all this hidden away from him hid all the Hogwarts' letters, raised him like her own, and protected him until her last breath. She loved him but all within the vicinity of the manor. He didn't know the world that existed beyond those walls.
He knew about the world outside only through the books she'd let him read. He thought it would feel liberating to step off the lavish floors onto the rich earth. It was everything but that.
"But Nona, why can't I go outside?" he remembers asking that silly question when he was about nine. What he wouldn't do to get that naivety back.
"Because, my dear, there are people out there who wouldn't like you. There are bad people outside ready to punish you," he also remembers crying when she told him that. He didn't understand why people would hate him. He just wanted to try the chocolate frogs he read about.
He just wanted to talk to all the different animals out there, the same way he could talk to the garden snakes.
"But I didn't do anything wrong, Nona. Tell them that I'm a good boy. I can even give them some of my toys. Will they like me then?" If only it were that easy. His Nona cried for the first time in front of him then, looking at all the toys he had set onto her lap, looking at her with teary eyes, pleading, "I didn't do anything wrong, Nona, I promise."
Mattheo didn't understand her tears back then, but now as he stands all alone, those same tears fall out his eyes. It's useless. "They'll know that someday, moon pie. You aren't wrong. They'll know." They'll know? What a fucking joke.
Mattheo tries to enjoy the view in front of him, you know. But how can he? When his batchmates are out there partying and enjoying life, he's been a lone wolf all his life. Yet in moments like this, he seems to forget his old ways of existing.
There's not much he can do anyway; he's not needed anywhere. In fact, they all want him gone. Finding beauty in small things is hard when misery clings to him. There's self-loathing in the way he thinks about the night and himself. There's nothing positive he can say.
You'd think that he must've gotten used to it all by now. No, he hasn't; it only got worse. At least little Mattheo held hope that people would understand someday or the other. Every bit of hope was destroyed by the very people who would've feared him had his father been alive. In moments like this, he wished he could see the man, live as the son they paint him as.
He'd have someone to lean onto then, someone to call his own. At least his father would've loved him. But this last bit of consolidation too was stolen away from him when he got to know that he was a backup plan for his father. Mattheo Riddle was not supposed to exist. His father wanted to live on forever; he was the last option the so-called Dark Lord had, to produce an heir and have them further his cause, and control his life as Tom lived on his last lifeline.
But all of it died with him. Mattheo promised himself that he would never be the man they all expected him to be, the man they wanted to point fingers at. So, he stayed in line. But then he thinks, sometimes, maybe, what if—you know?
He simply stares up at the brightly lit sky, it's a shame that he's the only one out there to appreciate the scenic beauty because he's physically and mentally incapable of appreciating anything, you can't blame him now, can you?
Cold breeze in mid-August, how fucking ridiculous just like this life of his, so unlike his peers, who were out there partying and having the time of their lives, the music vibrating through the walls was like salt on wounds. He'd like to drink a few and chat with his friends but then again, he hasn't got any. And it's the bitter truth that he's not welcome there, he'd be greeted with nasty looks if he tried to enter any such party, they'd all glance his way like the ominous thing he is. It's times like this when he really contemplates it.
Mattheo looks down from the height he's on, no one would care anyway, the fall will kill him, might just give it an actual try unlike those previous attempts- he's been a coward all his life, never ready to face the extremes of life but he has nothing to protect at the moment, he's come far too long, life was never going to be worth it.
He climbs over the railing onto the brick ledge, sitting down for a moment, to take it all in for the last time ever. Mattheo remembers all the whispers that followed him, the suspicious looks passed along the way, those words of disdain- at the same time the thoughts of a happy life enter his mind, it all feels unattainable, in fact, he's so far gone he can't even picture joy, all he sees is bright colours when he thinks of a happy life.
Mattheo had desperately sought relief all his life, but the pain only worsened with time, it's only reasonable to want to end this feeling of hopelessness. The weight of his family's legacy feels heavy on his shoulders. He slouches over and looks down once again, sighing as his eyes shift to the ring on his finger, the other Gaunt ring, he slowly removes it- a pathetic heir he is, he doesn't deserve it, couldn't live up to the name, disappointing both sides of the world.
Maybe they should have destroyed this along with his father's ring but apparently, his dear sweet Nona thought he could change their fate, change the course of history, change the Gaunt legacy for the better, fuck- he couldn't even try and change people's perception about him. Even in this sense, he's nothing like his predecessors, incapable of leaving a mark, of changing the world, be it for the better or the worse. He's just fucking worthless- he fiddles with the ring as he shifts a bit closer to the edge, ready to let go of it.
"Nice ring," he turns around startled, "Mattheo, isn't it?" not Riddle? He hadn't heard his own name in a long time, no one had directly addressed him in years let alone called him by his first name. It all feels foreign, he simply nods not knowing what to say. "Do you mind if I join you?" you don't wait for a response though and carefully bend and climb through the gaps between the two rails, settling down beside him. "Hi, I'm-" he doesn't hear it, he's too focused on your face, you were dolled up, for the party he thinks, but then why are you here of all places? Was this some kind of prank? He steals a glance back at the entrance and the seemingly empty hallway, to see if anyone is waiting for a reaction.
"You know you shouldn't sit so close to the edge, you might fall down," you grab his forearm urging him to move back, your hand feels warm on his skin, it feels unnatural, his hands are always cold. Even though it's on him for a couple of seconds he can't help the multiple emotions going on about in his mind and before he can sort them out, his mouth decides to act on its own, "Why aren't you at the party?" "Oh-" you look disappointed, and he apologises right away, not wanting to upset the only person who had the decency to talk to him, "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked," he's quick to defend himself, it's a natural response after all but you only seemed amused, "No, it quite alright, I was just surprised by your voice-" "Is it that bad?" "Gosh no! It's just not what I expected, quite rough, it's nice," you are quick to shut him up, "And about your question, I am annoyed at my friends forcing me to try more drinks and all, I just came up here to relax."
"I can leave if you'd like," you add on as an afterthought, but you really didn't want to go, it was the only place with some peace, unlike the loud corridors and dorms, where you were mad at your friends and were in no mood for a party. "No, it's quite alright, I was just surprised," he tries to lighten the mood, repeating your words jokingly, it works, you laugh and properly look at him instead of the waters ahead.
"Haha so funny," you say in a monotonous voice, trying to act like you didn't just laugh but you can't contain your smile, and he finds it quite beautiful. You look down at the ring between the two of you, "it's a beautiful ring I must say," You compliment it again since he hadn't acknowledged it before. Mattheo thanked you quietly trying to think of a response that might not make you run away from him.
It's been only a few minutes and you've said more nice things to him than he has ever heard in his whole life, it's quite ridiculous when he thinks about it, seemingly you find it quite easy to compliment him. He stays quiet not knowing how to take a compliment, but you don't let the silence continue, you look around trying to find something to talk about and soon enough you start talking and he's glad, "You know about those plants right there?" you point to the shrubs at some distance from the castle walls. Mattheo shakes his head unable to recall if he had seen them before. "It's alright but now that you know, you have something to look forward to this upcoming month!" you smile yet again, cheerful that you have something to share.
"What's special about them?" "It's not the plant itself but the fireflies that live there!" Mattheo tries hard to keep up with your energy and pace, "Why aren't they out now? They aren't migratory, are they?" "That's what makes it special unlike fireflies that are present throughout the summer, these ones light up only for the last week of August," "I'll look forward to it," "You should! I missed it last year and then everyone thought I was lying when I mentioned it." Mattheo frowns, "No one knows about them? Not even the professors?" "The professors would know but it wasn't that serious that I'd take it up to them," Mattheo finds it difficult to relate, he always would let everyone know that he was in the right if the facts favour him because no way in hell would he let anyone see him in the wrong light, he couldn't bear to be in the wrong.
And it slips out his mouth, "I would've argued till they knew I was right," "I don't like arguing though, reminds me of my parents, they parted ways because they argued a lot, so I try to avoid it myself," his lips purse trying to think of an appropriate response, "Anyway, you are in Slytherin right?" it wasn't a question, you just knew, "I'm in Hufflepuff, nice to meet you!" you turn towards him and extend your hand with a smile, he can't help but mirror your smile, "Nice to meet you indeed." Your hand feels soft in his, he was finding it hard to let go but you pull your hand back almost instantly- remembering something, "OH right I forgot, do you like chocolates?" Mattheo was quite taken aback by your energetic self, it was infectious, "Of course you do, it's a silly question, I mean who doesn't like chocolate-" you stop midway and fix him with a scrutinising look, "Unless you are some heartless monster-" "Nah I like chocolate alright," "Good good."
You fish through your jacket's pocket and pull out two chocolate bars, "It's muggle chocolate," you place one in his hand, "Muggle? I've never had muggle candy," Mattheo inspects the small sweet in his hand, "You are missing out then!" you chuckle as you take the wrapper off yours, "I'll eat it tomorrow, thank you," He pockets it and looks ahead with a small smile, tonight's beautiful now that he looks at it.
"You are a muggle born then?" Mattheo can't help but want to know more, because how dare his fucking father go after your lot, "Yep, I was surprised you know? To receive the letter, I thought it was some prank but of course, after a few days I realised how real it was, couldn't have been happier, to be away from home." It's funny because all Mattheo wants to do is go back to the gloomy old mansion and here you were saying the opposite, the stark difference between the two of you was obvious to him.
You ramble on and he listens, it's nothing but enjoyable to listen to mundane stories being narrated with such interest, he finds himself smiling a bit too much, to the point where his face hurts but he doesn't care because you are quite the lovely company to be around.
Muggle-born, the same year as him, Hufflepuff, living with your mom- it's not the best back home he gathers that much. You were angry at your friends and were going to hold a grudge if they didn't apologise. He learned a lot about you in that one hour and learned a few things about him as well, he didn't know he had jokes like that OR you were just too kind to laugh at his bad quips, whatever it was he was grateful because you didn't make him feel bad or like a burden. Mattheo was glad that you were the talkative one and that you didn't expect him to share anything if he wasn't comfortable, also the fact that he didn't want to send you running away by talking more about himself.
He admires the fond smile you wear when you talk, the stars reflect a bit too brightly in your eyes, and he inhales breathing in your scent, it's surreal, the moment. Mattheo didn't quite think properly until you left, wishing him a good night, "it was nice spending time with you, Mattheo!" He wonders if you knew how much it meant to him.
...
He finds out your name the next day and sees you everywhere, it's annoying because he was tired since he couldn't sleep thinking all night about you and now he has to see your face again. Now that he knows you, he can't seem to avoid you, earlier it was easy to be blind but now, everything else seems like a blind spot but you. Or maybe it's that his head is not hanging low, avoiding looking up at people.
Mattheo got over the irritation rather quickly, discreetly looking at you, eyes following every movement of yours. But you don't look at him once, he was just like any other guy to you, the realisation both hurts and feels nice, knowing that you don't demonise him but also the fact that he's no one special either. And maybe, he can live with that.
He notices the large number of people you keep around, you are never alone, always surrounded by a group and you are always the one talking, you are clearly popular. How had he not noticed you before? But then again he knew no one in the school apart from the professors, he never tried to get to know anyone because of course his fate wouldn't allow that.
Mattheo seeks out the solace of the library to keep you out of his mind for a while but the plan doesn't seem to work when he finds the chocolate you gave him in his bag. He simply sighs, knowing that there is no escape, unwarps the sweet and pops it into his mouth, shutting his eyes, and recalls your sweet smile. Warmth takes over his body, it feels nice like this, he has to talk to you once again because that can't be the only interaction he has with you, not when it's all he can think about. He breathes out slowly, staring down at the wrapper and mindlessly reading the information on the back, his jaw tightens as he realizes his stupid pathetic feelings. Mattheo puts the wrapper in his quill case and tries to study with a head full of you.
...
Okay, now it was really starting to bother him, he practically couldn't keep his eyes off you, it's like a spell had charmed him in. He wasn't even trying to be discreet at this point, he downright stared at you from a distance, it was creepy, he was aware of that but he couldn't bring himself to give a damn. Mattheo doesn't like this new feeling you've instilled in him, it's sweet and it's fucking uncomfortable. He finds it extremely difficult to get rid of you from his thoughts, so he gives up on trying and lets his mind go on autopilot.
The way you talked to him without any judgement in your eyes that day, the images of you repeated over and over again in his mind. Even when he sees you with someone else he can't help but think you are in front of him telling him a story, with those animated expressions of yours, but then seconds later he comes to his senses and sees the smile that's not directed at him, the one you gave to everyone, him too. He thinks it was your pity, that made you talk to him. He didn't feel like he was burdening you then but now when he thinks of approaching you, he knows he'd be burdening you. Your life looks no different, every day is full of joy, and you aren't smiling any less.
Why would you talk to him of all people? Perhaps, you only talked to him that day because you needed a change of scenery and not because you wanted to, he's wrong in thinking that but he's also deluded. It's the only way he keeps himself at peace, to not see meaning in your words, to not long for your company.
But he's a Riddle after all, some things just run in your blood, he has his eyes set on you and he finds it difficult to look away. New dream of his, and he'd like to have it, no matter how unattainable it feels. Yet he hasn't got a clue, it's all too new, and he doesn't know what to do, he'd like to have a plan but what would the plan even say? Go and talk to her? Yeah, like he's about to embarrass himself in front of her.
...
Your eyes stretch at the sight of him sitting in the library, alone but not in some deserted corner, he had claimed the whole couch in the centre of the room, sitting right in the middle, reading a book leaning back, a frown on his face. He looked intimidating, and to be honest, you were scared of him, the little beer in you that night had given you the courage to approach him, maybe your fate was too kind to let you find him that night but now your nerves were on fire.
It was no secret to you that he had been staring at you the past couple of weeks, but you couldn't understand the look on his face, his jaw was always clenched, eyes narrowed, and not a hint of emotion on his face. Was he mad at you? Was he the planning on-
No. You didn't like to think about it, you didn't want him to be the man they paint him as, he's just a boy, your age, maybe that's another reason why you hadn't approached him. Staying away because you were scared that they'd be right, you'd rather delve into what ifs than actually be heartbroken, your imagination brought you bliss.
But would it really be your mind if it would let you just forget it? You think and think, getting worked up over every little interaction you've had with him. How could he be evil? He talked to you so nicely the other day, even- even though you were a muggle-born, a mud blood. But when you see how he looks at you, you can't help but feel scared.
It really was an intimidating sight, your courage wore thin but you had made up your mind. You approach him cautiously, as you greet him, you start feeling jittery and flushed, "Hey Mattheo."
Mattheo jerked his head up as he heard your voice, surprised, caught off guard in fact, he didn't trust his words just yet so he simply nodded at you, acknowledging your presence, closing the book and setting it aside, all his attention on you. "I came here to study and noticed you," you look around bashfully before continuing, "I just wanted to ask you if you liked the chocolate I gave you the other day, you know the one with dark brown wrapper-" "Yeah I did," He stops you from rambling on, not that he had any problem with it but you clearly seemed nervous, he just wanted to ease your nerves, "Right so-" you quickly pull out a small pack of the chocolate from your sling bag placing it beside him, straightening up, "I'll go then, enjoy-" you are quick to turn away from him, cursing yourself in your mind, blaming yourself for making things more awkward than they already were.
Mattheo stops you in your tracks as he calls you by your name, you turn around, and he speaks in that cold voice of his, "You said you were here to study right?" you nod timidly, clutching onto the straps of your bag, he leans back and with a flick of his wrist, a table and chair are summoned in front of him, "then study," he motions to the chair opposite of him.
You were quite taken aback, you stood there for a bit before actually registering his words, and you quietly sat down, you didn't have it in you to disobey him, he was Mattheo Riddle for fucks sake, he looked and sounded like someone who doesn't take no for an answer.
A small smile tugged at his lips as he watched you carefully sit down, looking down, not meeting his gaze, he couldn't believe it, you obliged his wishes? Mattheo leaned back fully, arms folding as he watched you, brown eyes capturing each detail, amusement crawled over his face as he watched you pull out multiple books all at once, various colourful stationery items sprawled out all over the table. You looked pretty like this, stray strands of hair framing your face, lips pursed in concentration. He knew how creepy he was being, so he opened his book again and tried to read but he simply couldn't not when you were sitting in front of him, he relished your presence and this was so unlike the others, every time he had looked at you- you had been surrounded by people, so it was a sight to behold, only for him to admire. So he did, in secret, glancing up at you, every few seconds.
It's been two hours and not once did he get bored of looking at you, a small smile lingered on his face as you closed your books and looked up at him, "How's that book?" you nod towards the book in his hand- the one he was supposed to be reading, "Good, good" he bites the inside of cheek as he lies through his teeth, "Got everything done?" he sets his book aside, fixing you with a soft stare, "Yes, I just wanted to revise a bit, I forget stuff easily if I don't revise regularly," you tilt your head a bit, his eyes were much softer now, and it made your heart flutter a bit, feeling a lot more comfortable than before, so you do what you usually do when you are comfortable- talk.
"By the way, did you study for the upcoming herbology test?" And before he could answer, you pulled out a piece of paper from your bag, "This is like the holy grail, a senior gave it to me last year, it has all the specifics, of recognising plants and how to make generalised guesses about their uses-" you speak in a hushed voice, slightly leaning over the table, eyes wide as you shared your little secret, "you can have it, I have it memorised haha" You bless him with that pretty smile of yours, pushing the paper towards him, you don't let him refuse the offer and start talking about something else, he gives you a small smile, and it makes your insides turn into mush, you bite your lip trying to contain your smile, eyes shy as you start fiddling with your hands on your lap.
You talked for hours, he was much more open this time, and the conversation flowed smoothly between the two of you, it was you who mostly did the talking but he didn't seem to mind he looked more than pleased, he didn't like talking much, it seemed, so you filled in the gaps, made it look so effortless like it was easy talking to him, maybe it was easy for you but to him, it made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. You two stopped only when the librarian came in and told you it was curfew time, your eyes widened as you turned to look back at him, an amused smile on your face, both of you got up, walking beside each other, not uttering a word till you were out of the librarian's stern gaze.
"I made you miss dinner-" your eyes widened further as soon as the two of you got out, stepping into the empty hallway, "it's alright, I don't mind," you playfully rolled your eyes at him, he chuckled at your antics, "yeah sure, but your stomach would, but- we can sneak into the kitchens, you know, sneak some food out," you wiggle your eyebrows at him with a sheepish grin on your face, he scoffs in disbelief, a fond smile gracing his face, "something tells me, this isn't your first time sneaking around."
"No, it's not," you chuckle a bit before continuing, "So, are you coming or not?" you purse your lips, looking up at him with doe eyes and he questions your motives right then because there's no way you didn't have a clue about what you were doing, "would be an idiot to say no," he muttered under his breath shaking his head, "I didn't catch that-", "Yes, I am."
You give him a pleased smile, you looked so happy at that moment, he was rooted in his position as you started walking ahead of him, he had to look away to catch his breath, "Merlin" he exhaled, a hand reaching over to his chest to soothe his loud thumping heart, and in that moment he knew he was a goner.
"Mattheo-?" you turned around since you didn't hear him walk with you but soon he rushed to your side the moment you looked back, you gave him another smile as he walked beside you, he looked straight ahead then, you needed to stop doing that because no fucking way- would he be able to let go of you.
You lead him to the kitchen, both of you cautious, well just you- he was having the time of his life, getting a detention would be worth it, just a small price to pay. Mattheo repeatedly stole glances here and there, the moment you entered the kitchen, you grabbed his arm and pulled his painfully slow self in, "gosh- you sure do walk slow," you glare at him, but there's no malice in your eyes, instead they are just amused, you roll your eyes when he just shrugs in response, moving over to the tables. Mattheo just looked at you with fond eyes, he was just trying to buy more time with you by walking slowly and he didn't feel one bit guilty about it, he felt a bit too proud. 
You sigh dramatically before returning to him with a small tray in your hands, "I didn't find anything else, apart from these blueberry muffins," your eyes wander around once more trying to see if you missed something, "usually there's still stuff left, that's weird- oh well, at least we have these," you give him a small defeated smile, setting the tray on the table, shrugging as you felt that muffins weren't worth the effort of sneaking around and that you only troubled him further. Mattheo saw through you and he hated that you were feeling that way, "didn't I mention this to you? I love muffins, especially the blueberry ones." he gave you a small smile, picking up the muffin, taking a bite, "yeah, that's good, way better than the dry vegetable and chicken pies they make." He didn't look at you as he said that, but you smiled, realising what he was trying to do, you wanted to cry, why was he being so considerate? You were now beginning to go down a spiral, of all the times you thought of him in the wrong light, how dare you even think like that? 
Mattheo caught you staring and it was hard for him to control the heat that rose to his cheeks, he cleared his throat, "What? You don't like these? Well, guess they are all for me-" he teased, taking the tray in his hand and started walking away, "Hey! No-" you rushed after him with an amused smile, "I want one too," and the tray was shoved back into your hands, "better not eat all of them, yeah?" he gave you a small cheeky wink, leaning against the table, finishing the muffin in his hand. 
Mattheo offered to walk you back to your dorm, he didn't have to insist much, after all, you wanted to spend time with him too, you easily agreed after a couple of tries. You two walked in comfortable silence, as you neared the Hufflepuff dormitory, you were thinking about how you'd part ways, overthinking about what would be appropriate and in the mix of it, you just gave him an awkward side hug, squeezing his arm a bit before mumbling a quick "goodnight" and rushing in. 
He couldn't believe his eyes, were you blushing? No way, he must be imagining things. Mattheo could still feel your warm touch lingering on his side, the scene playing over and over again in his mind, he wanted to scream out of excitement- he was getting cuteness aggression, had to be it, his fists clenched at his side as he stared at the door, for god knows how long, if he could- he would've squeezed you into a bone-crushing hug, but you were quick, left him speechless. 
He walked back to the Slytherin dorm without any trouble, he closed the door behind himself and leaned back against it, he was pretty sure his skin was burning with all the warmth that was flowing through his veins. Merlin, he was embarrassing! Mattheo sighed contently, a big smile on his face as he replayed the whole day, your smile- 
...
The next few days, you guys didn't talk at all, he was back to staring and this time, when you did catch him in the act, instead of pretending you didn't see him, you gave him a knowing smile and a wave. Lingering looks, and subtle greetings, were sweet, Mattheo was now on a new high, he couldn't get enough. But for some reason, he maintained his distance, he stuck to looking at you from afar, it felt comfortable this way, not wanting to taint your reputation by talking to you in front of others, he'd talk to you if it was only you but you were never alone. 
Mattheo starts seeing life for what it is, when he looks at the trees outside, the castle in its entirety, he feels like he is seeing it for the first time. How had he missed this? He finds himself back at the astronomy tower, he looks at the lake ahead, it was a sight to behold, and he is starting to appreciate the view, these days he didn't care about much, you were all he could think about and you were more than pleasant, it was as if the grey lens of his life was replaced with a coloured one, and it would be foolish to credit anyone else but you for it, and he was fucking grateful for it. The reason he was here was, that it was the end of August, and the fireflies you so damn wished to see would be out tonight, he came here just in the hope that he'll get to see you alone. 
He was zoning out when some movement near the edge of the lake caught his eye, it was you- with a few of your friends, his smile faltered the moment he saw some blonde Hufflepuff dude pull you to his side, slinging a hand over your shoulder, you all walked towards the shrubs and didn't have to wait long before the fireflies lit up and started raising above the shrubs. He was about to leave, he was mad for some reason, really pissed- but then he took another look at you. You were standing a bit behind your friends, who had all their attention on the flies ahead, you seemed sad, looking down, messing with the soil beneath your shoe, hands in your jacket. Mattheo could make out the pout on your face, the deflated shoulders, you then turned to look right where he was, and he felt his breath catch in his throat.
Your posture straightened immediately, the pretty smile returning to your face as you looked up at the astronomy tower balcony, having spotted him, you waved at him. Mattheo nodded, forearms on the railing as he leaned forward, a smile gracing his features, the anger leaving him. You excitedly pointed at the sky, and he nodded, you turned back around when your friend called you and he couldn't look away, he was staring at you till you left, Mattheo started feeling the warmth creep up to him when he saw you making an effort to steal back glances at him. He felt seen, fucking special- 
...
Mattheo still hadn't talked to you, he couldn't catch you alone really, it was starting to get to him, he longed to hear your voice, hear you talk to him- and yet, he didn't have it in him to approach you in front of others, it would ruin you, you thrived in the company of others, he couldn't snatch that away from you. Maybe if he was a bit more selfish, he'd do it, snatch you away from others, have you all to himself but he wasn't about that life, it was something his father would do, he's sure of it, go after what he wants, not caring what others would think- 
Mattheo feels like passing out when you deliberately look at him just to give him a shy smile, a flushed look on your face. He walks away because he cannot handle looking at you, the urge is too strong, to just take you into his arms, he walks out to the empty hallway, a hand over his chest- it had become a subconscious habit of his, whenever you gave him that smile, the one that felt like it was just reserved for him, yeah that one, he felt like he was in heaven, you sent his heart rate through the roof when you did that, it borderline hurt him since he couldn't do much to satiate this feeling. 
The longing was etched into his eyes when he looked at you, one thing he realised was, that when he had his head up, no one dared to look his way, he was enjoying that power for some reason, it filled his veins with something dark, he liked seeing people look down instead of him looking down, it felt fucking nice, and it felt even better when the only person that did look at him, was you. People averted their eyes when he entered the room, choosing to ignore his presence but the fear was very much evident, so he knew they didn't see him staring at you but at this point, he really couldn't bring himself to make an active effort to look away even if someone noticed. 
It was no lie, that Mattheo wasn't up to date with all the gossip and news, he just lived life passively but now that he was out there more, he couldn't help but hear the words that fell onto his ears, Yule Ball, huh. WAIT- ball dance? That meant having a date, who were you going with? Fuck his mind was rambling shit to him, he could not let someone else take you to a fucking dance as their date, no, he wouldn't let that happen. He had to get to you before someone else did, it was nighttime, and tomorrow's the weekend, approaching you will be the first thing he'll do after he wakes up, he has to plan shit out, you know, make it special and heartfelt, you deserved nothing less.
But his heart nearly broke when he overheard two Slytherin guys talking about you. The way one of them talked about you made his blood boil, his jaw clenched tight, nails drawing blood from his palms as they dug into his coarse skin, "I told you not to ask her out, plenty of guys tried and guess what? She rejected them all." the guy who was being talked to only scoffed angrily, "She's a fucking slut, that's what she is, leading people on-" the other boy just stopped him and Mattheo exhaled, a bit relieved because if it wasn't for him, Mattheo would've smacked the guy and pushed him to the fucking wall, "dude, come on, that's not true, all she did was smile at you when you gave her your seat, she's a nice girl," these guys were in the fifth year, he recognised that much, "sure, whatever," the guy walked away to his room, making sure to loudly slam the door behind him. 
Mattheo then gets up and walks towards the guy left behind, the one who stood up for you, when he stands in front of him, he sees the dude cower into the seat, Mattheo tries to speak in a polite voice but the anger is still radiating off him, his irritated stare didn't help either, "she doesn't have a date, yeah?" his hands were behind his back, over one another, the blood still fresh, "who-o?" the guy stutters out, looking around for help but no one was there- "You know who," he fixes him with a glare, before uttering your name out loud, "no no, she doesn't, rejected them all." Mattheo then nods at him and leans back, then finally he walks back to his room, allowing the guy to catch his breath. 
Mattheo feels relief wash over him as he lets the information sink in, okay good, you didn't have a date but then again, why were you rejecting them all? What if you reject him as well? Yeah, he couldn't handle that wound, he'd fucking die, he contemplates whether he should ask you or not but he's done fucking waiting, waiting for his fate to fuck things over, if things are going to be fucked, he'll be the one to do it. 
...
Mattheo puts on a black shirt and black pants, not caring to tuck his shirt in, the cold metal ring stings him as he puts it on, the feeling is grounding, he's doing something his dad would've done and for some reason that doesn't feel half as bad, he feels like himself, it was like something had possessed him, the confidence was unwavering, even as he stepped out into the crowded hallway, hands in his pockets, looking ahead, people parted, giving him space and Merlin, did that feel fucking powerful. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows as he approached the room you'd be in, you always were there on the weekends, with your friends and he didn't think before he stepped into the room, heads turning towards him in shock, even yours but the shock on your face was soon replaced with a smile, quietly waving at him and that right there, fed right into his ego.
He walked over to you in a few quick strides, eyes zeroed in on you, nothing else mattered at that moment, "Can I talk to you?" To say you were surprised would be an understatement, you were ecstatic, you've wanted this for so long, to talk to him in front of others, you never knew if you should because he might've felt uncomfortable, "Yes ofcourse, what is it?" you nod, a smile still on your face, "Alone," his voice was cold, "oh yeah, sure-" you step towards him, thinking he'd lead you somewhere private but he stayed rooted in his place, eyes never leaving yours, he stayed quiet for a bit, taking in your whole self, the bright clothes you were dressed in, the equally bright smile on your face. Then he looked over your head, to the shocked faces of your friends, "Alone." It came out as an order, he couldn't care less. 
Mattheo liked this newfound authority, he also relished in the fact that you were being so compliant as if you wanted this to happen and he couldn't be more glad, "Guys, I'll be back, you can go ahead, don't worry," you explained, seeing their hesitance, his unwavering gaze was back on you, brown eyes were intense. The apprehensive group slowly emptied the room and just went the last person was out, Mattheo muttered something under his breath, and the door slammed shut, locking itself. 
Mattheo cursed that pretty smile of yours before smiling back, "You have a date? For the ball?" you lowered your eyes to the ground at the question, a shy look grazing your features as you shook your head, the more he looked at you, the more positive he got. "Good."  He finally pulled his hands out of his pocket and suddenly there was a bouquet of your favourite flowers in his hand and a velvet box, he wordlessly handed them to you, your eyes were wide, full of amusement, face warm, you noticed how the lights around you got dimmer, the small mock firefly charms that floated in the air, you didn't have a clue on how he was doing all this without his wand but you couldn't bring yourself to think of it, not when you had him standing in front you, in all his glory, about to ask you to the ball, gosh you felt like you were on cloud nine, the guy you were waiting for had actually approached you? You had to be dreaming. 
Then out of nowhere, you hear your favourite song but on strings, you look down at the box curiously- "It's the muggle chocolate you were talking about, the one you said was hard to get your hands on," he shrugged nonchalantly, as if it was no big deal but in reality, he was finding the courage to finally tell you what he was feeling, ask you out. Your brows pinched together, as you noticed that all of it was a muggle, even the flower arrangement- the song, how did he do all of this? You looked up at him with an amused look. "No questions please," he breathed out like he was out of breath, you then smiled at him gratefully, and he quickly averted his eyes, his hand subconsciously reaching over to his chest, "Oh Merlin," he exhaled quietly, not being able to look back at you. 
He then slowly gathered the courage to look back at you, you were just looking at him patiently, the smile still on your face, Mattheo cleared his throat before opening up, "I have never been the one to be graceful but I want to this properly." he inhaled sharply before continuing, "Ever since that night, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, I think I've gone mad honestly," He lets out a dry chuckle shaking his head, looking into your eyes, "I think I've taken a liking to you, your voice, your smile-" and then he interrupts himself, forgetting the little speech he prepared as he watches your smile widen at his words, "yeah that, more of that please," and that makes you blush, the genuine interest in his eyes, the way admiration shines in his eyes, you are so close to him, that you can hear his heart thumping loudly, "I'd like to have the honour of taking you to the ball," then he says your name quietly, "would you like be my date?" 
"Yes yes!" you couldn't be more excited, you are quick to throw your arms around him, and all the worries leave his body as soon as he is subjected to your embrace, he closes his eyes, pulling you closer, finding everything comfortable in your grip. His heartstrings thrum at the moment, it was embarrassing how quickly you got him flustered but he didn't seem to mind it. He whispered a small "thank you," before hugging you tighter, you just giggled into his chest and Merlin, did he feel like he had just won the lottery.
...
<<prev work: this love || mattheo riddle
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entry41 · 2 months
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// major warning for murder, discrimination, and murder amongst transgender youth
im trying to find the part where the three girls, all older than them, are charged for murder? or are those girls not going to have to deal with any sort of represcussions???
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is this going to be another case of "let's keep these people's identities private!!" or what. are we ignoring the fact that those girls bashed nex's head against the bathroom floor meanwhile nobody helped before, during, or after the situation??? because the media did the same thing with brianna ghey, they refused to release information on her killers until what, a year later? why are we working so hard to protect persecutors but not the ones being persecuted?
there are so many things wrong with this situation, let's start with the fact that an ambulance wasn't called upon nex being found? those three girls had quite literally banged their head against the bathroom floor NUMEROUS times, where was your sense of urgency upon finding a SOPHOMORE, A HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT WHO IS NO OLDER THAN 16, beaten on the bathroom floor??
we are talking about a 16 year old, somebody with a whole life ahead of them. nex had so much to live for and now their blood is on your hands and i hope that you feel guilty. i don't even think enraged is the word i am looking for in this situation, it's a feeling far beyond rage.
as a society we truly need to do better because jfc. i have to live my life in fear everyday, so do my friends, the people i love, and thousands of others - we aren't scary, we are scared.
rest well, nex, they will never forget your name ❤️
adding onto this post because i still have so much to say: nex was no different from you and i, they took interest in the same things we do. nex liked the walking dead, minecraft, and their cat, zeus. but now nex won't be able to partake in the things they love because of how f'ed up society is. the fact that america is perfectly fine with murdering innocent people on a daily basis truly tells you all you need to know. we are fighting a war we will never win because people refuse to accept the fact that trans folk just want to live their lives, almost like everybody else!!
i read in a reblog that nex was twospirit and i just wanted to add that, sorry if it seemed as if i was trying to leave that out, i wasn't aware. that doesn't change anything though and my point still stands.
we are not scary, we are scared.
2/25/24: please read what @youareprobablywrong said in the reblogs, it also includes ways to actually take charge and help prevent future events like this
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mageofminge · 2 months
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REMINDER TO BOYCOTT EUROVISION
Here's a quick run down of everything they've done + why you should boycott
Despite banning Russia for its actions in the Russia-Ukraine war, Israel is still in the contest (despite committing war crimes, attacking Gaza with genocidal intent etc)
"But Hamas attacked first on Oct.7" - Then why is Israel also bombing southern Lebanon if Hezbollah and the Lebanese government aren't involved?????
Israel often uses ESC as a platform for propaganda
One key example is their promotions for their 2019 broadcast, where they tried to turn attention away from the occupation and portray the country as a liberal haven of democracy, with the lines "... it's a land of war and occupation. But we have so much more than that!" and pointing out its the only place in the middle east where "gays are hugging in the street". (as if the rest of the Levant INCLUDING PALESTINE isn't actually relatively chill when it comes to gay rights)
Another example is them sending an Ethiopian Jewish singer to perform a song called "Set me Free" the same year they stormed Al-Aqsa during Ramadan, which seemed to be very intentionally trying to shift the narrative away from Israel as a colonial occupier, and more as a persecuted people who have finally found safety
As well as the issues with Israel as a competitor, ESC is SPONSORED by MoroccanOil, an Israeli company (ik the name is misleading, but speaking as a Moroccan Israel just really loves to steal our culture while treating our people they stole like shit [I could go on an entire rant ab this but I won't])
So what this means is we can't just boycott this year and then forget about it the next. Until Israeli presence is completely removed from EUROVISION, your views and your money will be funnelled to support an Apartheid regime. I already know people who are still watching Eurovision despite not supporting the occupation, because they love the artists and the spectacle. But no spectacle is worth supporting an Apartheid regime. The best way we can help the Palestinians is by making Israel a pariah state, and pressuring politicians to cut all their funding. That way they won't be able to put down uprisings and maintain the brutal police state they have - at which point they can only resolve the conflict peacefully and end occupation, or find themselves in the throw of a violent revolution. It was these strategies that ultimately helped end the apartheid regime in South Africa, and it is these strategies which can help end Israeli apartheid.
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leah-lover · 22 days
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Arrogance. Alexia putellas x reader.
Let me know if you want a part 2.
You loved winning more than anything or anyone in the entire world and that was your biggest flaw. Brought up in the US soccer system, you were taught that winning is everything. You had set the precedent of joining the US women's national team as early as 17 years old which had never been done before. You were smart both academically and tactically. You graduated high school early, went to college early and proceeded to win the national championship all 4 years.
Your life always took the back seat to winning. You didn't have many friends. You didn't go out or party. You trained hard, you took care of your body, and followed a strict fitness routine. You were overall the best in your generation.
Being labeled as the best of your generation got into your head early in your life. Your strict regime made it hard for you to make friends and your cockiness and pride didn't help either. You were friendly but nobody ever dared to become your friend.
After college you moved on to the NWSL in which you won MVP , rookie of the year, and the championship in your first and second year. You had also won the world but at the same time. However, winning didn't fill the gap in your life that it once did. You didn't have to prove yourself anymore, you were renowned in the whole world as the best, everybody wanted to be you but no one wanted to be with you not long term at least. You were notorious for hooking up with people but you didn't want them to stay over for breakfast
As the years went on the international competition got harder. You were still the best but an upcoming Spaniard was raining on your parade. You were both head to head in matchies, a few tackles landing you warnings and yellow cards, and in awards. Both having very good stats you are head to head for the ballon d'or which she won that year.
You didn't talk to each other much. You can recall talking one or twice to each other . but you talked about one another a lot. The media seemed to spit you both against one another. You started hating each other in real life.
This summer your contract with Seattle fc came to its end and you chose not to renew. Offers were flying by but the one that caught your attention was Barcelona's offer.
They were willing to spend 1 million dollars on you. It was a precedent. No club had ever paid this much for a transfer. Thrie offer sticked your ego so much you accepted.
You have been playing at Barcelona for almost a season, scoring a hatrick at every game. Your relationship with your teammates didn't change. You were still space out.
The most important relationship was with your captain. Your rivalry with her was the second headline out of the b transfer. But you didn't pay her or the rivalry any attention.
Tonight you have achieved something you wanted to do for a long time. You have won the champion’s league. The locker room was celebrating the win and chanting your name. While everybody was dancing Alexia came to approached you and said “ congrats and thank u american”
“ no need capi.” you responded.
The flight back was fun, people were singing and dancing but the only thing you thought about was alexia. Her smell, her hand on your shoulder, her being thankful for you. You found yourself looking over to her from time to time. You weren't like this, you didn't day dream about people especially not the captain.
The celebration party took place in a bar. You were a few dink in when you looked over to you right yo find Alexia nursing a flute filled with champagne.
“Why aren't you dancing?” She asked.
“ I am not the type plus i am pretty sure y'all hate me.”
“And why is that “
“Don't know just a feeling.”
After that I went outside. I didn't smoke much but the nerves Alexia was giving me deserved some nicotine. As soon as I lit the cigarette I felt her hazel eyes glaring at me.
“ These things are gonna kill you, you know.”
“ I want to die young plus nobody would give a shit.”
“ I would give a shit if the most important person in my club was killing herself because she can't man up enough to talk to people. You hide behind your accomplishments. But you are just a normal girl just like any of us. You need people beside you.”
“ You are wrong about me. I am not scared of talking to people; they just would never understand me. I am a control freak. I don't like to give it up. People tend to hate that about me ” I say as I take the last puff of my cigarette. My eyes don't leave hers and the tension is through the roof.
“ I like to lose control from time to time.”
“ Capitana please don't play with me”
“ Currently I am not playing with you. Let me make you a deal. You go inside, have some fun and I will let you do what you want with the information you just heard.”
“ Why are you doing this?”
“ I don't know, I just care, I guess.
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channelinglament · 1 year
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Sksjdjjkskskskskksk
I know I should be focusing more on reqs, but I had to take this off my mind skskksskks (btw I'm rn in the underground belobog part of story) (I kinda called it SAHSR as in self aware hsr)
☆•°Self-Aware Honkai Star Rail°•☆
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Tw: no proofread, mentioned drowning(but it didn't happen), war, hate, religious themes, self awareness, kinda ooc, grammar mistakes because I am typing this at 12AM instead of sleeping, isolation
So, you know how in the beginning we play as Kafka? Yeah, I'm pretty sure she felt your presence. At first she was kinda weirded out, and was on guard. Who knows what you would do to her, while controlling her?
Oh look, you're helping her.. Hmm, maybe you aren't that bad after all. Still on guard, but thankful. With you she seems to fight more faster and is more efficient.
Same goes with Silver Wolf. They don't seem to mind your presence that much.
You even helped them to pick a trailblazer! But after picking them, you left Kafka and Silver Wolf. They didn't really mind it. They have been doing good without you, so it should be fine!
Meanwhile, the trailblazer is confused. First, they don't remember anything except their own name(or the name you gave them), then Kafka leaves and someone is watching over them. Oh how confusing and strange. But they caught early on that you're helping them. You're not an enemy.
During their "adventures" trailblazer starts thinking of you as a family. Kinda annoying since you control their body most the time (unless it's a cutscene) but you're cool nonetheless. They see you as a safespace.
Meanwhile March 7th and Dan Heng don't understand what is happening. Who is controlling them? Why after they met trailblazer? Why are you controlling them?
I think March would, just like the trailblazer, like you and find you annoying at the same time. Dan Heng would stay on guard (but also see you as safe space/nice person to hang with). Not as much on guard as when you first...met but still. It'll take him time to get off guard. The more time you spend with them, the more familiar they are with you, the more they like you.
Why annoyed, you may ask? Well, imagine you want to.. for example fight, but someone controls your movement and does it instead of you. Or goes the other way (aka exploring) instead of the path you've originally chosen.
They certainly would like when you make them stronger. No matter who is on your team, they'll like it (I mean, who wouldn't?)
But.. sometimes, even if they like you, they get tired of always being on the team. Thank you, yes, but they need to rest too. They mostly rest when you're offline, since..time kinda stops there. But when you're online? damnnn they walk and fight so much.. (I fr walk everywhere to find enemies to fight, so uhh, if you're like me, they would be tired and maybe annoyed at it)
I think some characters would even hate you. It doesn't apply to the main trio btw, they'll always like you. The reason some may hate you is that they have so much stuff to do, yet you choose them to walk around and fight all day. They're even supposed to be here! (For example, using Herta when fighting someone in Belobog)
If they could, they would scold you. But sadly game doesn't allow that.
It only appears in normal, self aware circumstances. Aka a normal self aware. Some like you, some hate you. You just kinda exist. (That one strange friend/sibling, y'know?)
But what if they would see you as a God? Something divine? Like in SAGAU?
Well, you're doomed, what can I say?
Everyone would want to be in your team. Oh, poor Gacha system.
They would hate it tbh. While in just self aware some would avoid you on purpose (aka busy characters), here? Where everyone sees you as a divine being? Oh dear..
Imagine several people trying to come through a single door, all at the same time? Yeahhh that's what happens. The standard and limited banner would literally fist fight while trying to get "home" to you. So don't be surprised if nobody comes home, at all.
But some may cooperate, and you may get more 5☆ or 4☆! Basically characters you wanted.
Those on your team would be proud! Mostly if the main trio are still there. Some would be envious of trailblazer. You're always with them, even if they're not on your team.(how could you?!)
Kafka and Silverwofl would be devastated. I'm pretty sure Silverwolf could possibly destroy the gacha system and come home. Only her (and maybe Kafka)
People in Belobog would hate the lore and everything game makes them do what they do. They're so happy they met you! You're here to save them! They don't want to fight you, so please don't be mad at them.
Honestly, if you were to get isekai'ed into hsr, I would recommend to the normal au.
The ones who hate you would just tell you off and never interact again, while your family/friends would hang out with you. Plus you could help a lot in Astral Express!
Maybe get Himeko and Mr.Yang some tea? Or help Pom Pom with whatever he needs?
If you get into the Worshipping Lunatics au..? I feel sorry for you.. You would never rest-
Whether you choose to stay at Astrak Express, or Herta's *I forgot the name* or whatever, they are all ready to wage war against each other. And if you decided to stay somewhere, that means you clearly favor them and their place more! Those who were chosen are happy/smug. While other try to improve their place/copy the place you've chosen to make you reconsider and stay with them.
The amount of gifts.. try to not drown okay?
They might even all agree to keep you in one place. Lock you in there and hope you won't be mad at them.
That's all for now
(Gotta work on reqs now or in the morning, they're still open btw)
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torhues · 1 year
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osamu miya.
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"what do you think is the right way to ask someone out?" osamu's sudden question draws out your attention from your english assignment.
you take a moment to think, and while he thinks you're sorting out the most appropriate answers to his question, you're lost looking the answer to just one question that's plaguing your mind : should you tell him, or not?
"uh, who is it for?" you settle with the conclusion that he's asking that question out of curiosity. after all, you both are at an age where romance gradually becomes an integral parts of almost everyone's life.
out of all the years that you've known osamu— which is for around seven years for now— there has been only one time when you've seen him pursuing someone, and that was your best friend in middle school; and like the good friend you were, you helped the two of them confess to each other. you would walk to school and back, watching them holding hands, make plans without you because they were dating and it was understandable. you didn't mind, not at all, for you weren't in love with him at that point.
looking back now, you wonder if things would've turned out different if you hadn't helped your friend, or if you had realised your feelings a bit earlier. back then, you found it amusing to watch two people in love act like idiots, not knowing it'd all come back to you with a much larger impact.
"someone i like," he replies in his classic monotonous voice, as if he couldn't care less about not telling you who he has a crush on. it's exactly how it was back in middle school. had it not been for your friend, you wouldn't have known she was the one osamu had been planning to ask out all along. "goes to the same university as us, might even be in your biochem class,"
and your mind traces over the image of every single person in your class, crossing out the names that don't seem to fit osamu's taste in romantic partners. it's not the first time you're doing this. in fact, you've gotten used to figuring out whether he would be interested in someone just by looking at them. it's something you've learnt as you got better at hiding your feelings.
you've known him long enough to know who he might date yet still, couldn't bring yourself to believe that you could possibly have a chance with him.
"well, i can't tell you if i don't know the person," something about you makes osamu believe that you're a cupid. you're good at reading people, welcoming, albeit not so good at reaching out to strangers, but you are likeable, more than likeable, actually.
he has seen you set people up, including himself, and excluding yourself. the reason why you're not interested in pursuing someone anymore is beyond his comprehension. you have your fair share of knowledge about relationships, have dated a couple of guys before giving up altogether. it's not like your relationships didn't work, but it always seemed as if you were better off without them.
even while dating, it looks like your eyes are looking for someone else while being in someone's arms.
he sighs, putting down his phone. "just tell me what you like, people aren't much different after all,"
"uh, well, i hate public confessions and people who confess through calls and texts," which stands true for most the people out there. public confessions are more of a show off and confessing through texts is just, not enough. "also, i like to stay at home or be at some cafe so like, arcades, amusement parks and places like those aren't up to my liking either,"
you notice the smile on his face, along with the dreamy eyes and make him look prettier than he already is. frankly, the idea of osamu doing everything you like to ask someone else out hurts more than it should. you're probably not the only persons with those likes and dislikes. you know you should be happy for him and the person he likes because in the end, osamu is everything you, or anyone, could ask for.
"what about flowers? lilacs?" he asks, getting back to his phone.
"what are you doing, congratulating someone on their graduation?" his lips instantly curve into a frown, and you know in his head, he's snickering about how he is not the best when it comes to picking flowers, and that you shouldn't make fun of him for this. "i'd say tulips, they're a better gifts for first dates and confessions,"
one day, back in first year of university, osamu asked you why you don't seek relationships anymore. thinking about it now, you never gave him an absolute answer.
on some days, the answer would be academics, other days, it would be sadness looming over your shoulders after watching your ex with someone else. sometimes, you would excuse it by saying it's a waste of time and when asked when you're drunk, you'd say it's because you already have someone in mind, someone who can't be yours, no matter how much you try.
on some days, you wonder if osamu ever thinks about all the answers, or excuses, you gave to his question. there are times when the worlds makes compels you to believe that osamu likes you back, but then you realise that if he did, he wouldn't have asked out others all this time. you did drop hints regarding your feelings for him, and he failed to catch on for he for too busy looking at everyone except you.
"i wonder why you don't date anymore," the question arises again, flooding all the memories back into your head.
"i did have someone i liked, but he likes someone else," and you realise you can't lie to him anymore. "so, i gave up," osamu finds it amusing how you say those words with a smile, and he finds it despairing knowing that now, you've simply learnt to live with pain while pretending to be okay.
he shoots you a comforting smile, "i hope that wouldn't be the case for me,"
"me too," and you smile back.
he gets off your bed, picking up his jacket while offering soft apologies for the state your bed is in because of him. sometimes, you feel like there should be a warning for everyone who dates him : caution, this man doesn't know how to keep the bed clean. there are nights when you go to sleep thinking about how you're probably the only one who can keep up with this habit of his, and then wake up realising that it wasn't a problem to anyone it now so, it wouldn't be in future either.
it's like oscillating between the possibility and impossibility of him and you, caressing your little heart with false hope.
"ah, what should i say while confessing?" he shoots another question, making you snicker in annoyance.
"c'mon 'samu, you're not asking someone out for the first time,"
"just tell me,"
and you allow yourself to get lost in thoughts again. for a brief second, you consider telling him to not confess. the reason? your feelings, but again, you and him aren't meant to be together in the first place. it's just like how the saying goes— cupids must not fall in love— and you did the forbidden, knowing it would hurt you ten folds more every time you tie his threads with someone that's not you.
"i don't know, just give the flowers and ask if they'd like to go out with you or something," he chimes a faint thank you before leaving your room, and then your apartment. this time, you don't walk up to the door to see him off, neither do you wish him good luck, and surprisingly, osamu doesn't seem to notice your minute absence either.
it's fine, you tell yourself, one of you has to start getting accustomed to the other's absence. while the process has already begun for you, you hope osamu gets used to it as well. you need him to stop reaching you out for relationship advices because you don't know how long you can compose yourself before shattering once again. you try to distract yourself with essays due next month or even further, reading chapters that haven't been taught in class, reading research papers; just anything that can keep your mind off osamu.
you don't want to think about him, or what he's doing. maybe, he's buying the flowers, making preparations or calling his crush and asking them to meet him at their favourite place. even better if his crush confessed while he has been preparing a proposal of his own, it would be cinematic. you don't want to think about him at all, but the more you try, the deeper he engraves inside your mind.
the evening rolls by with you still sitting at your study desk with a bunch of papers lying around a not one complete work. there are rain splatters on your windows and you hope the off-season showers haven't ruined his confession. you can't wish for the other person to like him back, so you just wish for his happiness; whatever makes him happy, even if it means pushing him away.
and when you manage to drag yourself to the kitchen to grab something to eat and make yourself feel better, the sound of your doorbell hits your ears. the rain hits harder, you muster up the energy to walk up to the door.
there's osamu standing with a love sick smile and slightly wet hair, along with rain splatters on his shirt, and the bouquet of tulips in his hand. "will you go out with me?"
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notafunkiller · 9 months
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you were mine just yesterday - co-written with @marvelouslizzie
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Summary: It's been a while since your break up with Bucky happened, but you're still not over him. You try to move on, go out, and have fun with your friend, Steve, but you end up in the same bar you two went to often. It also just happens that Bucky is there too, with Natasha by his side. It doesn't take long for you two to end up getting into old habits.
Pairing: exes!Bucky Barnes x female reader
Word count: 10.7K
Warnings: 18+, second chance romance, teasing, dirty talk and pet names, language, jealousy, fingering, nipples play, oral séx (the reader receiving), choking, clit play, metal arm, no condom (but they are both clean and the reader is on birth control), aftercare, alcohol (but she is not even tipsy), death mention, no mention of y/n.
Bucky Barnes Masterlist
Please, do not repost or translate without my permission! I really hope you’ll enjoy it, I can’t wait to read what you think.
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The screams he hears when he opens the door and holds it so Natasha can get inside first already make him regret agreeing to this. He absolutely hates crowded places, but at the same time the food is great here, and it's literally one street away from his apartment, he can suck it up a little.
“Come on, I'm starving.”
Bucky looks around, trying to spot anything and anyone that could be suspicious, but everything seems fine.
“You can't relax even for a second, can you?”
He rolls his eyes, but right before he can comment something sarcastic in return, he hears it... your laugh, followed by a strong smell of cherries, and he immediately looks toward the bar. There you are: dressed in a lovely shirt and your favorite pair of pants, with a huge smile on your face. You look out of this world but you aren't alone, no. His stomach aches at the sight of you sharing drinks with his fucking best friend as if nothing else matters.
“Bucky?” Natasha's voice isn't enough to make him tear his eyes off you. “Hey! You said you're starving.”
“What the fuck is this?”
Bucky’s voice doesn’t go unheard by Steve.
“Oh shit,” he mumbles. “Bucky is here with Natasha.”
The moment you hear Natasha’s name you feel like someone punched you in the guts. You instantly start looking around and it doesn’t take long until you finally see them together, standing there and looking for a place. Bucky with Natasha… Why doesn’t that surprise you? A better question: Why does it hurt that much to hear it? You should have expected this.
“We should go and say hi. They're staring.”
“Is this a fucking joke?” Bucky finally looks at Natasha with a deep frown. “Did you know this?”
“Know what?”
He finds it hard to speak as if something was stuck in his throat. “About... them.”
“I didn’t know they would be here.”
Bucky seems like he doesn’t know what to do. He's trying his best not to have a breakdown right then, because how could this happen to him?
“Maybe we should leave,” you say to Steve, feeling uncomfortable already. You are in no mood to watch Bucky and Natasha together. But when you make a move to stand up, Steve gently touches your hand to stop you.
“You can’t run away from him forever.” He’s right. You can’t. You don’t feel like facing them today, but you shouldn’t be the one running either. You slowly sit back down, feeling grateful that you aren’t alone.
“Can you suck it up a little, Barnes? I won’t act like I didn’t see them just because you can’t face your ex, who, by the way, is still our friend.” Natasha rolls her eyes at him, hiding her smirk and starts to walk toward the bar. “Plus, they look like they’re having fun.”
You notice Steve smiling, but you have no idea why. When you see Natasha coming toward you and Bucky following her like a puppy, you understand and try to fake a smile, too, before taking a big sip from your drink.
“Hi. What a coincidence, nice to see you here.” Natasha leans in to kiss Steve on the cheek, then you after you let the glass on the table.
“Hi,” you force the word out of your mouth as nicely as you can. It’s not that you dislike Natasha. On the contrary, you find her a smart, well-traveled, obviously, woman. You liked her opinions in most of the conversations you had, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t jealous of her when she’s around Bucky because of the same reasons.
“So nice to see you, Natasha.” Steve keeps the conversation going. “Bucky!” He tilts his head just a little to see him behind Natasha.
You don't dare to look, though. Your hands are already sweating. Seeing him so close would make your state even worse.
“Steve.” You close your eyes instinctively at the sound of his voice, but you open them when he mentions your name too.
“Hi.”
“What are you having? This looks sooo tasty.” Natasha has always been good at making conversation regardless of her feelings, and you never wished more than then to be like that too.
“Oh.” Steve casually stirs his drink with the cocktail pick. “It’s a cherry cocktail but it’s not on the menu.”
“Of course.” Bucky steps aside from behind Natasha and comes closer to you with a serious, unreadable expression. “The famous cherry cocktail.” His tone is dripping in sarcasm as he leans in and, without any warning, he takes Steve's glass and downs it in three seconds. “Less flavor than usual.”
You don't realize the death glare you're giving Bucky until you feel Steve's hand on your skin, probably trying to calm you down. You can’t believe his audacity. This is the man who broke your heart and left you and he thinks he can just come here and act like this? Hell no!
Bucky's eyes fall to your arm and leans in again, placing the empty glass down and taking two cherries from the cherries glass.
“It’s fine,” Steve says in a way that is extra calm.
“Yeah, it is fine.” You find yourself agreeing immediately. “I can get them to make you a better one.”
“Well, I am curious now.” Natasha gives you a warm smile. “Or do we interrupt something?”
“I can order you one, as well, if you want.” You offer with a fake smile on your face, ignoring her implication. You can feel Bucky’s gaze on you even though you aren’t looking in his direction.
“No need. Come on, Nat. I’m starving.”
Nat…
“You sure?” You are only looking at Natasha and ignoring Bucky. “I can talk to the bartender and he can bring you the cocktail. He’s a good friend, he wouldn’t mind.”
Bucky puffs, shaking his head.
“You okay, Buck?” Steve can't help but ask.
“Yeah, are you okay?” You try to look as casual as possible.
“If I weren't, would you offer me a drink made by your good friend, too?” His eyes and voice don't tell you much. He asks you this in the most casual way possible. Even Natasha looks surprised.
“I think you need something stronger.” Your eyes are wandering to Natasha for a second. “Since you already tried it and didn’t like the cherry cocktail that much.”
He shrugs, not denying what you said despite it being a huge lie. Then he smirks and looks at Natasha and Steve. “I assume you don't mind us joining you, right? I'm starving.”
Of course he doesn’t ask you. He knows your answer and still decides to do this. Okay, if that’s what he wants…
Steve turns his head to you, asking you indirectly if this is okay, and you nod, trying not to look affected. Especially when he sits next to you with Natasha on his left.
You instinctively move away from him and closer to Steve.
Bucky starts to take off his jacket as he speaks. “I'm not gonna eat you, you know?”
“Hmm?” You give him a look.
“I'm not into human meat, don't worry.” He takes off his gloves. Your eyes immediately fall to his hands and you feel the sadness spread inside you. It’s so overwhelming to be around him, yet you don’t want to give him the pleasure of seeing how hard this is for you.
“I’m aware. I’m just more comfortable like this.” You reach for your drink and take a sip, turning your attention to Steve. “Should I order a new one for you or would you rather drink something else?”
Bucky puffs. “He can order for himself. He is over 100 years old, doll.”
You ignore Bucky’s comment and look over to Natasha. “Do you wanna try the cocktail, Natasha?”
She hesitates, looking at you and at Bucky, and you try not to roll your eyes.
“Do you have any suggestions with strawberries? I love strawberries.” She points to Steve. "He does, too."
 “I’m more of a cherry girl, but we can ask my friend. I’m sure he has some good suggestions.”
“Such a close friend”
“Yeah.” You ignore Bucky and raise your hand. The bartender gives you a smile before coming closer.
“Hey. Is everything alright?”
“Everything is fantastic. I just need another one of these.” You raise your nearly empty glass. “And Natasha wants to ask for your recommendations for a drink with strawberries.” You point at her while saying her name.
He gives a few options and both Steve and her agree on one.
“What about you?”
Bucky looks at him bored. “A burger: chicken, extra pickles, please.”
“Any drinks?”
“Your cheapest beer will do.” You respond instead of Bucky, and he immediately gives you a questioning look and lifts his eyebrow. But he doesn’t seem to care, and the bartender just nods and leaves.
 “So,” Natasha starts. “For how long have you two been hanging out?”
Steve looks at Bucky. “We never stopped hanging out.”
“Why would you?” Natasha winks at you, and Bucky feels he is going crazy. Many images of you and Steve laughing, walking together, even kissing take over his mind.
“Exactly.” You smile in response.
“What about you two?” Steve asks with a mischievous smile on his face.
“What about us?” Bucky asks immediately, giving Steve a hard look. “Do you want to gossip with the ladies present?”
 “That never stopped you before.” You didn’t intend to say it out loud, but it’s already out there.
Bucky's head instantly turns to you. “What?”
“I said that never stopped you before.” It’s too late to back out so you decide to go for it. Bucky usually doesn’t care who is around. He says what he wants to say when he wants to say it. So your presence shouldn’t stop him.
“I heard you the first time. I was waiting for additional explanation.”
“Oh, good. I thought your hearing was getting worse for a sec.” You just look into his eyes. “You always say what you wanna say. So why would us being present stop you now?”
“My senses are perfect, thank you for your concern. Natasha and I are hanging out, too, obviously.”
Your bartender comes back with the drinks and that stops the conversation. He puts your drinks by one by, saving Bucky’s beer for the last.
“We’re out of our cheapest one so I brought the second cheapest. I hope that’s okay.”
 “I'll survive,” Bucky murmurs.
“Your burger is coming up in five minutes.” And with that remark, he leaves you four alone.
“This tastes amazing,” Steve smiles, squeezing your hand, and Natasha immediately agrees.
“Yeah.”
“Glad you like it.”
“Want to try it, Bucky?” She asks him with an innocent smile, which makes your blood boil.
Bucky shakes his head and drinks from his bottle. “Ah, this tastes too expensive.”
“You’ll survive,” you whisper, imitating his tone.
“Oh, I will.” He gives you the most charming smile you've seen in a while and takes your glass to take a sip.
“Will you stop drinking other people’s drinks without asking them?” You can’t hide how done you are with his entitled ass.
 “You'll survive, I'm sure.” He mocks you without a care in the world. You can feel the tension increasing, but you have no idea what to do. You can’t control your reactions, and he keeps pushing you.
“Oh, I will, but…” You move closer to him just a little. “If you need… you know… some help you can have a drink on me.”
 “Hmm.” He chuckles and moves closer, too immediately catching on to what you meant. “Don't worry about it, I am sure Nat would cover me.”
“I am sure she would.” You smile back, fighting the urge to roll your eyes and break the glass into tiny pieces, so you just put your drink in front of him. No way you are gonna keep drinking that.
“Hey, Adam!” The bartender looks at you from a bit far away. “Same drink, please.” He winks first and then nods.
Bucky frowns and downs the drink, trying to look unaffected. “You had no problems sharing drinks with me before.”
“Now I’m more careful about what I put into my body.”
Steve tries to mask his laugh by fake coughing, but you notice anyway. So Bucky must do it, too.
“I can see that. You don't mind sharing drinks with my best friend now.” He gives you a bitter smile for the first time in ages. The way he emphasized the word drinks makes you wonder what’s running through his mind.
Adam comes back with his burger and side dish, and you feel your mouth water. “Enjoy and let me know if you want anything else.”
Bucky takes a big bite from his burger as you reach out to his fries and take a couple without a care. If he can freely drink your cocktail, you can steal some of his fries.
Natasha and Steve look at you surprised.
“What are you doing?” Bucky asks, chewing loudly on purpose.
“Taking some of your fries.”
“Thought we don't share drinks and food anymore. We moved on from that. We passed that stage.”
You remark his and Natasha's closeness again and feel your blood boil.
“So it’s okay for you to do it, but it’s a problem when I do it?” Yet you take another fry and put it inside your mouth, looking directly into his eyes. You want him to know this is not about fries or sharing stuff.
Bucky's surprise is visible all over his face. He's simply speechless even after Adam brings you your drink and you give him a forced smile.
“Thanks, Adam,” You say like everything is fine. “I will use the restroom. Would you keep an eye on my drink for me, Steve?”
And you leave without waiting for an answer.
You go to the restroom, lock your door and sit down. You just need a minute alone because all of this is too much for you. Seeing him with Natasha tonight is hard enough, but he keeps challenging you. He acts like nothing is changed, but everything changed when he decided to walk away. Even though you don’t wanna admit it, your feelings for him are still there and they’re making everything harder.
You take a couple of deep breaths and remind yourself this was going to happen one day. It just happened to be today and you can get through it. You’ll be fine.
You get up, unlock the door and just wash your hands, splashing some water on your neck, too, before you look at yourself in the mirror. At least you are looking alright.
You jump when you hear the door opening and turn around just to see Bucky locking the door again.
“This is the ladies’ room!”
He looks at you as if he can't understand what you're saying.
“I said this is the ladies-”
“I heard you the first time. What the fuck do you think you're doing?”
You puff. “I should be the one asking that question.”
“I am not here sharing drinks with your best friend, am I?” He walks toward you.
“No, you are here with Nat.”
Bucky washes his hands in response, not understanding how you can compare Nat with Steve. You are here on a date with his best friend.
“Have fun with Nat and stay away from my drinks.” You leave the ladies’ room, but he’s right behind you.
“I wasn't finished with you.”
“That sounds like a you-problem. I have a drink that’s waiting for me.”
“Just be honest and say Steve is waiting for you.”
“Just like Nat is waiting for you.” You look like you are tired of this conversation already when you snap.
“Are you having fun, doll? Are we bothering you? Did you want to enjoy your date all alone?”
You make a face when you hear the word date. So that’s why he was acting like that. He thinks you are on a date with Steve. “What I do with my life is none of your concern! Just go and enjoy your own date.”
“None of my concern, right?” His calm facade is finally falling. “You are on a fucking date with my best friend!”
“Oh, so that’s why you decided to be an ass? Because you think Steve picked up the toy you threw away?”
When he gets so close to you, you feel like you're suffocating. “Careful.”
“Or what?”
“You forgot what happens?”
“Oh,” you say in a mocking tone. The audacity he has! “Well, too bad you don’t get to do that anymore.”
“Does he do that?” He closes his eyes, still too close to you. “Do you let him touch you? Is this why he isn't around?”
You raise your hand instantly, wanting to slap him right there for crossing a line, but you manage to control yourself, remembering his past. You see him closing his eyes instinctively and you sigh. You might be mad at him, but you wouldn't hurt him like this. He is not a bad person… And you don’t wanna bring his trauma back.
You take a deep breath and retreat your hand.
“Maybe he isn’t around because you are an ass, did you consider that?”
“Why him?” He opens his eyes. “I would take all of your slaps instead of living through this.”
He sounds so weak, and tired, and sad. There is a part inside you that gets angrier because he thinks so low of you, but there is another part that understands and wants to assure him you would never do that to him.
“Why him what? I’m not dating your best friend, Bucky. Pull your head out of your ass!”
He freezes. He really freezes and lets out a deep, deep breath as if he's been holding it for a long time. His forehead drops until it meets yours, and you gasp surprised.
“I was going insane, baby. I felt like my life was just...”
You take a step back, not letting yourself enjoy his touch or his baby. “It doesn’t change the fact that you are here with Nat.”
“What about Nat?”
“What about Nat?” You repeat his question. “Did you forget she’s waiting for you? Or the fact that you suddenly left me? Me not dating Steve changes nothing. So stop calling me baby or doll or whatever charming pet name you come up with.”
Bucky laughs humorlessly as he shakes his head. “You think I'm really with Nat? You think I could ever replace you? That I'd even try?”
“Then why the fuck did you leave me?” You are so close to shouting, but you still don’t want people to hear you. Your eyes are getting filled with tears.
 “Why do you think, huh? Do I look happy to you? You think I'd leave you to date Romanoff?”
 “Why not? She’s perfect!”
Bucky looks at you dumb-faced. “For who? For what? Why do you...”
“For you! You two are a perfect match!” You take a breath, trying to contain your emotions. You don’t want to cry in front of him.
He is instantly touching your arms again, making you shiver. “Why would you say that?”
“Because even if you aren’t dating now, you will realize how perfect she is for you eventually. So go back inside. Don’t let her wait.” You sniffle, your head is slightly shaking because of all the emotions you are holding back.
His flesh hand grabs your chin and you feel his hot lips on top of yours before you can react.
The way he kisses you makes you wanna cry even more. It reminds you of everything you tried so hard to forget yet never managed to…
Even though you want to give in, you take a step back. You can’t handle another heartbreak.
“Don’t…” The tears start to fall down. “Just don’t.”
“Do you not want me?” His eyes are teary, too, and there is nothing to hide anymore. But he can't ask this, he can't do this to you. He is unfair. He left you, he broke it off. He...
“Do you have any idea how much you hurt me?” You try to dry your tears with the back of your hand. “You can’t just come back, kiss me and expect everything to be fixed!”
 “I am so fucking sorry, baby. I wasn't trying to hurt you.” He stops himself and sighs. “I really don't deserve you. I keep making you cry.”
“Saying sorry isn’t enough, Bucky. What did you think would happen when you left me? Did you think it wouldn’t break my heart? Is this what you want to hear? That you broke my heart when you left me? Here! I’m heartbroken because of you. Happy now? Can we go back inside now?”
“I just wanted...” He shakes his head, wiping off his tears. “Let's just get inside.”
“What did you want Bucky? Tell me. What did you wanna hear?”
“I'm not worth it, that's fucking clear. I am sorry for this whole mess I brought into your life.”
“Don’t ever say that!” You angrily point your finger at him. “You know how much I think you deserve. This is solely about you leaving me. You made that decision, remember? I opened my heart to you and you left me! Don’t make me feel guilty about getting hurt.”
 “Don’t you realize how dangerous it is?” He says desperately, looking you in the eye. “I would get you killed... we all would...”
“Really? Is that why you left me?” It angers you more than you imagined. This is probably the worst reason he could give you. Like you were safe before meeting him. As if he didn’t save your life.
“Bucky?”
You jump when you hear Natasha.
“What?” He snaps, looking at her. There is nothing in his eyes that can be even close to desire, you notice.
“Are you gonna come back or should we leave and let you cry for the rest of the night?”
“No, Nat, we're leaving.”
You grab Bucky’s arm and drag him out despite the shocked look on Natasha’s face, and Bucky just lets you.
“Pay the check. He's gonna transfer you the money for our order later,” you say casually while half of the restaurant looks at you.
Steve throws him his leather jacket without hiding his smirk, and Bucky catches it, giving him a typical Bucky look without saying anything.
“Where are we going?” Bucky finally asks when you’re outside and you let go of his arm.
“Your place obviously. Did you walk or took the motor like a lazy ass?”
Bucky rolls his eyes and puts on his jacket. “I walked.”
“Fine. So we are walking back to your place then.” You wait for him to move as he laughs and shakes his head.
“What?”
“You said that when we met too.”
You roll your eyes. He’s always been a stubborn ass. You remember him insisting the serum will do its job and he’ll heal faster, but you couldn’t just let him bleed, so you had to drag him to your place. “Just walk.”
“Bossy.”
“If I remember correctly, you said that when we met.” You don’t wait for him and just start to walk, trying not to think about what he said.
You miss his huge grin and his boyish look, but you hear his footsteps. He reaches your side in no time. “I missed you.”
You close your eyes for a second and try really hard not to say you missed him too. “I can’t do this again, Bucky. I can’t get my heart broken for the second time.” You sound like you are in pain.
He nods. “I didn't even think you’d want that.”
“I just don’t understand what you are trying to do.”
“You deserve to know the truth and the context, so you can stay away from us for good.”
You huff, but you don’t say anything. You two walk in silence for a while and luckily it doesn’t take more than five minutes to arrive at his place.
You get to his door and the familiarity is killing you. So many memories come to your mind and you're not even inside yet.
When you finally step in, it's like time has not passed: the TV, the couch... except for the sheet. The sheet is back on the floor.
“Are you sleeping on the ground again?”
Bucky sighs, taking off his shoes. “Can we ignore that? Let's focus on your questions. Do you want a glass of water?”
“Answer my question while pouring me a glass of water then.”
“The man who almost killed you when we met?” He opens the fridge and takes out the water bottle before directly handing it to you. “He's a part of the new wave of Hydra.”
You look at him, feeling completely confused. You don’t even notice the water bottle.
Hydra?
 “They might know about you...” He bites his bottom lip entirely, showing his frustration. “We managed to take a few down. They are careless as fuck, so young and dumb.” He just puts down the bottle on the kitchen counter.
 “You… left me… because you think they are after me because of you?”
Bucky looks away. “Does it matter?”
“Isn’t that why I am here? Because you wanted me to know the truth. So just tell me. Is that why you left me?”
“He knew your name, where you work, your family.” Bucky pauses, trying to control his anger. “He knew we were together. I have no idea how because you know... you know I never let my guard down. And what if they’d have gotten you? What if they do? You need to stay away from me, us.”
He can’t believe Steve or the rest thought it’s okay to continue to be around you.
“So you decided to leave me alone, be a more vulnerable target. Good job Bucky! Very well done!” You start to clap. “You are the dumbest person I have ever met.”
“Do you honestly think I left you unprotected?” Bucky puffs, as if he can't believe you'd ever think that.
“Then why did you have to leave? What was the point, huh? If they already knew all that stuff about me… about us… What the fuck was the point?”
“What if they kidnap you or kill you just have me back?”
You sigh. “You know that’s always a possibility in our world right?”
He hesitates before speaking. “What if they trigger me?”
You take a frustrated deep breath. There is no way they can do that again. No way! But if he thinks that, then it means he doesn’t trust himself or his skills. Again. “You accepted the defeat already.”
Bucky snaps immediately. “Do you not understand I could kill you? I could kill you and not even...” He closes his eyes unable to look at you as he speaks. He could not recognize you. He could make you suffer in the worst possible ways if you were his target.
“This is why I said you accepted the defeat already!”
 “I could kill you...” Bucky repeats so shaken.
 “You wouldn’t.” You’ve never been more sure in your life.
 “How do you know that? I almost killed everyone...”
 “You didn’t kill Steve.”
Bucky gets closer again, shocked by how calmly you talk about his worst nightmare. “I can't risk that. I cannot risk your life.”
 “So you would rather leave me alone and heartbroken.”
 “Yes.” His answer comes instantly. “If you're alive, that's-”
 “And go back to sleeping on the ground!”
“It's not like I sleep much anyway.” The way he says it... like it's not a big deal at all amazes you.
“You know what bothers me about all of this? Something I didn’t think you would do...”
“What?”
“You took my choice away.”
Bucky is shaking when he hears you, completely taken aback.
 “Instead of telling me about all the risks, you decided on your own. I would never do that to you.”
“I dreamed about this. I... I saw you,” he pauses. “I was choking you."
 “Not something you didn’t do before.” Your response comes instantly, without much thinking because the tension is killing you and you want to lighten the mood a little. “Choking, I mean.”
And he smiles. You make him smile and it feels like you won the lottery. “You quite liked that.”
“You did, too.”
“I did, you were very pretty.”
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
Bucky sighs, not knowing what to say. “I'm sorry for putting you through all of this.”
“There’s something else you should also apologize about.”
“What?”
“For taking my choice away...”
“I am sorry for that,” he says instantly. “But I don't regret it. I made the right choice.”
“If you don’t regret it, we don’t have anything to talk about. I don’t need your sorry.” If he doesn’t regret it, what’s the point of this conversation?
“Your life is worth everything to me." His voice is so soft as he speaks.
“I understand that, but it doesn’t make it any better.”
“I am sorry for not telling you." He keeps apologizing.
“You don’t regret it, though. So… I don’t know where to go from here. Maybe I should go.”
He tries to hide his disappointment. He's being unfair and he knows it. “If that is what you want... let me grab the hamlets and I can give you a ride.”
“I don’t need a ride.” You don’t want to be that close to him on his motorcycle. You can handle yourself. You wish things were different, that he had told you the truth. You would have to make him see things from your perspective, but he didn’t share anything with you. He pushed you away completely.
“No fucking way.” Bucky shakes his head. “You should know this by now.”
“You’re not my boyfriend anymore so you don’t have a say.”
“No,” he simply responds.
“The sooner you accept that you have no say in my life anymore the better.” He can’t keep acting like he’s a part of your life. You understand his fear, his good intentions, but he refuses to see the whole picture. You’re not safe either way and he still protects you. He could have done it and still be by your side.
Bucky comes even closer to you. “It's not safe. Did you not hear me until now?”
“So dropping me off is somehow safer? Do you ever hear yourself? You told me you left me because my life was in danger and you don’t regret breaking my heart. And now you wanna drop me home and make me a target again? Is sleeping on the ground killing your brain cells too?”
“I have a fucking metal arm.” He raises his left arm. “I didn't mean just Hydra's dumb men. I mean normal dumb men too.”
“I did not forget that you have a metal arm, but you did since you broke up with me. And you apparently also forgot that I can handle dumb men all by myself. You chose this! You had your reasons, I get it, but you can’t just come back whenever you feel like it, okay? You can’t go all passive-aggressive like you did to Steve because I am on a date. You can’t offer to drop me off. If you’d decided to get out of my life, stand by that choice. Since you don’t regret it, it shouldn’t be that hard.” With every sentence, your anger is rising. You don’t realize you say the words like you’re spitting them out.
“I did not mean it like that.” He ignores the comment about how you can handle yourself because there are limits to that. “I regret not being with you, deciding that for you if that's what you mean, but I don't regret making this choice for your own good. And you would have gotten bored of me anyway. I have too much baggage, too. You shouldn't have to deal with this shit."
You shake your head, absolutely crushed by his words. How can he think he’s so hard to love? How can he… “If lying to yourself helps with sleeping at night, go for it, but that’s not the truth.”
Bucky sits down on the couch. “You cannot deny I am right.” He sighs. “Let me call you an Uber at least.”
“You want me to lie and I can’t do that, Bucky. You were the love of my life. I would never get bored of you.” You don’t know why you are saying all this. You thought and think about him constantly. He wasn’t just your boyfriend, he became your best friend.
You can see the surprise and happiness all over his face right away. He's glowing.
“You were mine, too, I hope you know that.”
“I didn’t. Not until now.” You bite your lip, trying to hold back your tears. It’s just so hard.
“I wish things could be different, but I promise I'll keep protecting you.”
That makes something inside you snap. “It could’ve been different! But you chose this!” Your anger is suddenly pouring out. “I don’t want your protection. You are either in my life or out of it. There’s no in-between. Do you understand me?”
“No.”
“God, I hate you so much! I hate how stubborn and stupid you are! I hate that you never listen to me! I fucking hate how you make me feel!”
Bucky stands up. “Do you think this is easy for me? Do you think I don't want to talk and hold you and make love to you? Do you think it's easy, huh? No! But someone has to make these decisions! I won’t let you die because you're stubborn.” He's so red and angry. “I am not worth it.”
 “For fuck’s sake! I’ve had enough of this, okay? One second you tell me you have to stay away and another that you wanna make love to me. You treat me like shit and then kiss me! Why do you do that, huh? Why?” You don’t wait for a response, letting out everything you have been holding in. “I don’t fucking care if it’s easy or not. You know why? It wasn’t my decision. YOU DIDN’T LET ME CHOOSE YOU. So if you are suffering that’s on you, pal. My suffering is on you, too. Now get out of my way. I wanna go home.” You try to breathe and control your anger again, but it feels impossible.
“What do you want me to do? Risk your life?”
“I want you to get out of my way and stay away from me. I���m done with talking, arguing, and crying.”
“You won't see me.” He looks away as he promises you that, and you feel like crying more than ever. That's it? “But you have to promise me you won't see the others.”
“The others?”
“Natasha, Steve, Sam. We are all the problem.”
“Oh, hell no. Fuck no! No!” You point your finger at him, angrily. “You don’t get to decide shit anymore. Especially not about my life. You are done with making choices for me!”
“Did you not hear what I told you tonight? They should know better. I will have a discussion with them about it too. They are so stupid-"
“I don’t fucking care. Should I spell it out for you? Would that make it easier for you to understand? I DON’T FUCKING CARE! You don’t want to be in my life, fine. Your decision, but them… I’m not giving up on anyone.”
“Why are you so fucking stubborn? We are talking about death and life.”
“I made that choice the day we met, okay? When you fucking saved me. I’m way passed that point. They are my friends, too, and they will stay that way. This conversation is over.”
“I'll call you an Uber.” He murmurs, knowing continuing this would not a wise decision. He expected more from Steve at least. He knew how dangerous this is. At least Sam and Natasha seemed to understand.
You’re surprised when you see him suddenly giving you a funny look. “What?”
“I can't believe you really thought I could be with Natasha like that.”
Of course this would come and bite you in the ass!
 “I always thought you two would be a good match.” That was always on the back of your mind, thinking if they gave it a chance it would work amazingly. She is beautiful, powerful, lethal… and Bucky deserves the best. Seeing them together double hurt.
He gasps as if he can’t believe this. “What?”
“Why are you so surprised?”
“We were together and you thought I could ever replace you with her?” He sounds hurt and confused at the same time.
 “Yeah. I was sure that would happen one day.”
He stares at you completely blank for a while and you don't know what he's thinking. You were honest.
“And you say I gave up on us? You thought I am gonna-”
“It doesn’t matter, Bucky, okay?”
It does, actually, very much, but you’re so tired and hurt and simply without energy.
“Fuck it.”
You don't expect him to take you by the back of your neck and kiss you, surprising you for the second time on the same night. You don’t understand why this set him off or what he’s trying to do. All you can think of is how much you missed this.
He whimpers when he realizes you don't reject him and licks your bottom lip.
You wanna cry. You wanna hit him. You wanna push him away, but you also want to keep kissing him. You hate how conflicted you are feeling.
He closes his eyes, letting you go. “I don't know why I...”
You know how that sentence would end. You don’t need to hear it. He doesn’t know why he can’t stay away from you.
“So you are really that dumb.”
He stares at your lips. “Fuck, maybe I am.”
 “You definitely are, but I am dumber.”
You grab him by the collar and kiss him again. He doesn't hesitate to open his mouth and let your tongue find his, his hands grabbing your ass and bringing you so close that you feel his hard-on.
“Fuck.”
Everything feels overwhelmingly familiar and you missed this so much. You missed his lips, his taste, his touch, his smell… You grab his face with both of your hands and kiss him however you want, however you need.
“No one can replace you, alright?”
“Then what is the point of all this?” His face is still between your hands. “You want us to live in agony for the rest of our lives?”
“I just want to keep you safe, baby.” He kisses your palms. “I really don't want to risk your life. I couldn't survive!” He's haunted by that image of you dying, him killing you… He wouldn't be able to move on with his life.
“But I don’t wanna live like this.”
“How do you want to live?” He finally asks.
“I wanna be with you, Bucky, but you don’t let me. You don’t let me have you. You don’t let me move on. How am I supposed to live like this?”
 “You want someone else?”
 Seriously?
“I said all of those things and that’s what you heard?”
“I heard you, but it's all a mess. I am a mess. I would understand.” His tone is ice cold. He's so frustrating.
You grab his face with one of your hands again and force him to look you in the eye. “Would you really understand?” You question because you are damn sure he wouldn’t. “You would rather have me forgetting all about you and moving on than being with me?”
He seems to think intensely for a couple of seconds, contemplating, imagining different scenarios. You can feel his jaw clenching and you bite your lip.
“You know there is no turning back then, right?”
You don’t understand what he means. “Turning back from what?”
He kisses you as if that is the only answer he can give you. And kisses you. And kisses you until you feel the salty taste of his tears.
Your heart breaks seeing him like this. So vulnerable and tormented. You break the kiss, look at his face, and you feel yourself tearing up.
 “You're so fucking stubborn, baby.”
 “So are you.”
Bucky smiles, kissing away a few tears on your cheeks. “Can I have you?”
“You gotta work for that.”
That doesn’t seem to deter him. “Yeah? Good, I love working.”
“Yeah? Because it’s not gonna be easy.”
Bucky smiles sadly. “When do I like it easy?”
“I mean it, Bucky. You have to earn my trust back.”
He takes a step back. “And I mean it, I'm here to prove that. I know what a hard and long process it is, and I would never leave you alone again unless you are tired of me. I will protect you with my life, I promise.”
You can’t believe the switch he made. Finally!
“Good. Now come and kiss me because I missed you.” You finally admit it out loud. He’s being vulnerable, so can you, but he hesitates a little.
There’s something in his eyes, maybe it’s the willingness to do anything to earn your trust back, including holding back and waiting, but you don’t want to wait.
“I said gaining my trust will take time. I didn’t say I wanna wait, Bucky.”
“What's the difference?” He’s reluctant, not wanting to make another mistake.
“The difference is I am horny.” It’s been too long. You can’t hold back anymore.
A playful smirk takes all over his face as he comes closer to you. “Are you now? And what can I do about it?”
“I don’t know. What can you do?” You dare him like you don’t know all the things he can do.
“Depends.” His hands grab your neck softly.
“On what?” It’s astonishing how easy it is to fall back into habits.
“On the limits you want to set.”
“You know my limits.”
He looks at you surprised. “But do you trust me with this?”
“My trust issues aren’t over this, and you know it.” He always knew when and where to stop. Never made you feel unsafe. Your only problems are the way he left you and how his actions hurt you.
“Intimacy means a lot of trust,” he says but brings his hands down to your shirt anyway.
 “I know. If you didn’t turn into someone else during the time we were apart, I trust you with this.”
“I don't have protection.”
You give him a look. “If you don’t wanna do it that’s fine.”
He snorts, literally ripping your shirt in half, buttons flying everywhere. “Yeah, I totally don't.”
His actions don’t surprise you. You are used to him ripping your clothes. You just look at your teared-away shirt, amused.
“Sounded like many excuses to me.”
“Do you not see my fucking erection?”
You look down, smiling. “Oh, I do see it.” It’s not something you can ignore.
“You lied to me,” he says in a low voice, taking off your bra in a couple of seconds using his flesh hand.
“About what?”
“About Steve. You wanted to drive me crazy.”
“I didn’t say anything about Steve.”
Bucky raises his eyes from your boobs to your face. “You let me think you are dating him.”
“You assumed I was dating him because we were out together and he was trying my favorite cocktail.” You start to unbuckle his belt, incapable to wait any longer. You missed him and his cock so much you are aching. “Take off your shirt.”
Bucky groans in annoyance. “Don't remind me. You made it for him.” He sounds like a jealous kid. “Take it off yourself.”
 “Yeah, I was gonna make it for Nat, too.” You finally unbutton his pants and push them down without paying much attention.
Bucky laughs, tilting his head.
“What is so funny?”
He takes off his shirt. “Your voice is getting higher when you're angry.”
“And?” You raise an eyebrow, challenging him to continue.
“Did Nat piss you off or something?” He unbuttons your pants, too, as he asks.
“You piss me off.”
Bucky smiles. “You tend to say that a lot. Nat doesn't think that.”
“What does she think?”
He pulls down your panties and you're surprised a little. You expected him to rip them.
“I guess I don't piss her off.”
You grab his face and make him look at you. “I bet you are on your best behavior around her.”
Bucky bites his lip. “Maybe I am.”
“Now who is lying?” You grip a little harder.
“I don't know, doll. Who is lying?” He moans.
“You enjoy it, don’t you? Seeing me like this? Getting me all worked up?”
You feel his hands on your hips all of a sudden. “You're getting flushed when you're worked up. So beautiful.” He leans in, trying to kiss you, but you don’t let him. You push him back. “Couch or bed?”
“Couch, it's closer unless you want the bed.”
“If you fucked anyone on that couch, I’m not even going close to it.” You look at him in the eye while saying that. It makes your skin crawl.
He grabs your face. “If you think I did this, maybe we shouldn't do anything.”
“What? We weren’t together.”
“I see.” His voice is so low that you barely catch it. What you said goes both ways.
“Don’t go all grumpy and jealous again. I didn’t fuck anyone.”
He puffs relieved. “I'm not grumpy.” He kisses you desperately, though, lifting you at the same time until you wrap your legs around him, and carries you to the couch.
He sits down and his hands drop to his sides, letting you find a good position on his lap.
You push him on his back while trying to make yourself comfortable. “Lay down.”
 “I can't reach your tits from there.”
“Just lay down. You are gonna like this.”
He leaves a kiss on both of your breasts before doing what you said, waiting eagerly. You move closer and closer under your pussy is right above his face. He doesn't say anything, and quickly pulls you completely down as if you'd have changed your mind any second if he hadn't done it. You lose your balance for a second but quickly grab the arm of the chair for support.
His tongue is everywhere for a while before stopping on your clit directly. He teases you, though, licking around it, and you can't stand it. You move your hips, trying to get his tongue right where you need it, and he chuckles, sending small vibrations to your clit.
“Just stop teasing me,” you say impatiently. There’s no time for games.
You don't understand what he murmurs, but you feel his tongue finally on your clit at the same time he gets a finger inside you. That gets a loud moan out of you.
“It wasn’t that hard, was it?” You complain while he pumps his finger in and out.
You feel Bucky's vibranium hand making its way to your chest, and you gasp at the cold touch right on your nipple.
 “You always find a way to do what you want to do.” But you aren’t complaining. It feels really good.
He adds a second finger inside you just when you finish your sentence.
“Oh, fuck you!” You say after moaning loudly. He’s definitely doing this on purpose.
He doesn't hesitate to move his fingers in a fast pace, opposite to the way he is using his tongue, which you know he does on purpose. Old habits...
“Just lick it properly if you don’t want me to torture you later.”
He pinches your nipple in response.
“Just stick your tongue out.” You move yourself a little bit away from his mouth.
He opens his eyes instantly and frowns. “What are you doing?”
 “Taking matters into my own hands.”
His eyes glow and he immediately opens his mouth, sticking his tongue out eagerly. Then you grab his hair and lower yourself onto his mouth, gently riding it.
Bucky moans, keeping his tongue as flat as he can. He can literally die like this and he'd be the happiest man on earth.
You slowly pick up your pace, listening to your body and the need to come grows when he moans just because you tug on his hair a little harder.
His fingers start to move again, surprising you since you're the one riding his face.
It makes your knees shake; it becomes harder to move for a second.
“Oh fuck.” You curse loudly. “I’m gonna- come.”
He whimpers in approval and adds a third finger out of nowhere. You can’t say anything. The only thing you can do is moan while riding his tongue. Bucky keeps the same pace, squeezing your breast at some point until you finish all dizzy.
You take deep breaths, still holding onto the arm of the couch. Then he grabs your hips, lifts you up and you find yourself on your back. You yelp because of his sudden move. He kisses you before you can say anything and spreads your legs at the same time. You feel the wet tip of his cock right at your entrance and you moan, giving him access to deepen the kiss while raising your hips slightly so you can feel more of him.
“That was so good. I missed you so much.”
You stare at his wet chin and cheeks and smile. Your face is now wet, too, but you don't care as you kiss him again. You kiss him until you feel breathless. Then you look at him, still high from your orgasm.
“I think I should’ve been the one to say that.”
“I missed you so much.” He repeats as he pushes inside you,
“Oh fuck.” It feels so good, even better than you remembered. “I missed you, too!” You sound breathless.
“I fucked my fist a thousand times thinking about you.” Hearing that turns you on even more.
“Yeah?” So you weren’t alone because you thought about him. Only him. “I imagined my dildo was your cock like a thousand times, too.”
Bucky's thrusts are finally getting faster. “Yeah? Was it good?”
“Some great some underwhelming orgasms. Yours?” You wanna know so badly.
“Nothing can compare to your pussy.”
“Not even another pussy?” You want to push him, so you don’t hold back your question.
He grabs your face. “I'm inside yours right now and you wanna talk about other women?”
“You know what I want to hear.” And it’s definitely not other women.
Bucky's eyes soften a little as he kisses your nose. “I haven't been with anyone else. And no pussy can compare to yours. No one can compare to you, stubborn little baby.”
You don’t feel any shame when a loud moan escapes your lips. That’s exactly what you wanted to hear.
“Harder?”
“Whatever you want.” It’s like your mind suddenly switched off.
Bucky brings his vibranium hand to your mouth. “Suck then.”
You don’t say anything, you just wrap your lips around his finger and start sucking.
“Good girl.” He starts thrusting a little harder, enjoying the way you look so out of your mind. “My good girl, taking my cock so well. Did you miss it so much?”
You wanna say something, but your mouth is occupied. So you moan instead.
“A fucking sight.” He groans, taking his thumb out of your mouth despite your protests. “Never letting you go.”
“Oh, you finally made up your mind,” you say in a mocking tone.
“Gonna choke you with my cock next and we'll… fuck! see if you'll mock me then, too.”
“You can choke me now, you know.”
Bucky brings his flesh hand to your neck instantly and you frown. As much as you enjoy him finally slowly returning to his own habits, he's still being careful.
“Really?” Your eyebrow raises automatically.
“What?”
“If you’re gonna hold back, maybe we shouldn’t do this.”
He sighs. “It's been a while, I don't want to hurt you.”
“Can you even hurt me?”
Bucky stops mid-thrust and raises his eyebrow. “What?”
“I think you might be getting old. Or maybe the serum is wearing off.”
You didn't expect him to bite it so quickly, but he does, grabbing your thighs and finally fucking you harder. “Gonna make you scream.”
“You are definitely getting old.,” you say half breathless.
“I won't make you bleed, baby. We can go harder than this after you get used to having sex with me constantly again.”
“I meant your memory.” He’s going really fast and it makes it harder to speak. “You forgot what I asked for.”
“Want me to choke you?” He moans, realizing what you mean. “Beg for it.”
“Just choke me, old man.”
He says something, but you don't understand what, and when you feel the cold metal on your neck, you don't even care. You close your eyes in pleasure.
“Like this? Is this what you want?”
“Yeah.” The words barely leave your lips. It feels amazing.
“No dildo can replace my cock, can it?”
“No.” You shake your head. “Nothing can.”
“No other man, either, right?” You feel his wet kiss on your neck. “No other super soldier. Not Steve.”
“Steve?” You can’t believe he’s actually asking this. Is he that jealous?
“No one else.”
You grab him by the hair and force him to look at you while you speak. “I don’t want anyone else. Do you hear me?”
Bucky smiles. “I don't hear you. Can you repeat it?”
“You bastard!” You smack his chest with a big smile.
“Bastard?” Bucky laughs, slowing his thrusts.
“Old bastard.” You laugh with him.
“Fuck, I'm gonna make your ass red.”
“Make me come first,” you say in a challenging tone.
He squeezes the sides of your neck a little harder than before and the pressure makes you dizzy in the best way. “You're so wet for me. So fucking wet and perfect for my cock.”
Your mouth opens but nothing comes out. No words, not even moan. Bucky smiles when he feels your whole body trembling and a few of his hair strands fall all over his face. His flesh hand goes to your clit, circling it a couple of times in the middle of your orgasm.
“Oh my fucking god…” You murmur. It’s like your whole body is electrocuted.
“Can you take my come, baby?” He asks squeezing your neck a little more. “Gonna give it to you. Gonna...”
“Yes, please.” It is like a whisper, but you know he can hear you. “Please.”
That's all it takes for him to come. And come. And come. A lot, you can feel it filling you and probably dripping out on the couch because there's so much come. You kiss his forehead and hair, anything you can, still feeling out of this world. It's like you could fly.
You missed this... Feeling like being one with him. Sharing this high. It feels you with all kinds of emotions.
“God, I missed this.”.
“Of course you did.” You giggle.
“Did you not?” He fishes once again before bringing his head to your boobs and licking all over them.
“Fuckkk.” Your laugh turns into moaning. You want to push your breasts more into his mouth. “You have no idea how much I missed you.”
He sucks your right nipple in return. “Ihm.”
“If you keep sucking it I might come again.”
Bucky sucks even more, bringing his vibranium to your other breast.
“Move your hand on my clit,” you say after moaning loudly.
He does it quickly, making sure to tickle you before finally touching your clit. You giggle first, then moan when you feel his mouth sucking on your nipple while his fingers work on your clit. You close your eyes and let yourself enjoy this double stimulation.
“So soft.” You can barely understand what he says while still sucking. You take a sharp breath when your legs start to tremble. He's enjoying every single whimper of yours as he keeps moving his mouth and hand at the same time.
You love hearing the sounds he makes while sucking on your nipple. You run your hands through his hair and enjoy your high to the fullest until it feels too much. You grab his hair and move his mouth away from you.
“That’s… that’s… enough.”
“Why?” He sounds like a little kid.
“I’m… sensitive.”
Bucky takes his mouth off immediately with a pop and kisses you as an apology. You tremble under his touch once again, sighing right after it.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” It’s obvious that you don’t mind. You sound content and satisfied.
He completely gets out of you too while licking his finger. “Gonna get you a towel and a glass of water. And a blanket.”
“Why a blanket?” You look at him confused while Bucky stands up hesitatingly
“For you...”
“Did you sell your bed or something? Are we sleeping here?” You joke.
“I was gonna make you some fries...”
“Fries?” You straighten up a little, surprised.
“Yep. I think I have some pickles, too.”
“Okay.” A warm smile spreads on your face. This is the Bucky you remember. He smiles, too, and goes to the bathroom probably, but you hear his chuckle anyway.
*
“Come on, one more.” You try to force the fry inside his mouth, but he's a stubborn man.
“They are for you, baby. Eat!”
“If they are for me, I decide what happens to them and I want you to eat one more.”
Bucky rolls his eyes but takes the fry anyway. “Happy?”
“Very.” You take another fry and start chewing. “You know we should talk, right?”
“Well aware, yes.”
“Are we gonna or…” You’re hesitant because it feels good to be like this with Bucky after a long time, but you also know you should be talking and sorting things out.
“I was waiting for you to start.”
“The problem is I don’t know what to say.” Or where to begin. You feel like you’ve already said everything. Or better yet, you screamed it to his face.
“What do you want to know?”
“Are we trying again or are you gonna say this was a mistake?” It’s at the back of your mind. The fear of him leaving again…
“This could never be a mistake, love. I was simply trying to protect you the best way I knew. I will protect you.” He sounds genuine, but it doesn’t change how you feel.
“If you leave me again, it doesn’t matter why, you won’t have another chance.” Your tone is more serious than before. You want him to understand this. You can’t keep playing this back-and-forth game over and over again. You don’t believe in second chances, but this is an exception. The only exception you are ever willing to make because you understand his intentions, how his mind works, how his trauma still hits him. Dealing with Hydra again is a scary thing. You can’t imagine how he felt when he found out.
He looks at you so proud. “I know. I am lucky I got another chance in the first place. I am not even worth it.”
“Stop with the self-degrading talk, will you? I can’t stand it.” You always hated the way he talked about himself. He’s worth everything.
“But it's the truth.”
“I can’t believe you went back where you started the moment you left me. The self-degrading talk, sleeping on the floor…” It bothers you so much, like it’s somehow your fault, but you know it isn’t.
Bucky closes his eyes. He's not proud of it, but there is nothing he could have done to control it. “I am a lost case, I know.”
“Bucky,” you say in a surprisingly firm tone, and he opens his eyes back. “You’re worth everything, but you gotta believe it yourself first. I can’t magically make you see how wonderful you are. I don’t have that kind of power.”
 “Sometimes I feel it, but sometimes... there are some really hard days, you know?” He sighs. “The past I had, my Winter Soldier past, too, the mess... it's hard to believe I deserve some kind of peace, but I'm trying.”
You know he is.
“You are a wonderful person, especially when you are not an asshole who thinks he knows the best for everyone.”
“I'm a super soldier, remember? I'm used to making these kinds of decisions.” He gives you a small guilty smile.
“You know what soldiers are meant to do right?” You quickly continue without waiting for an answer. “It’s definitely not making decisions.”
“No?”
“No. Good soldiers follow orders.”
He smiles. “I'm a bad one, don't you know? The worst soldier.”
“Until further notice you are not allowed to make decisions.”
“It's not that simple.”
“No, it’s pretty simple. Don’t tire that beautiful head of yours. It’s not meant to make decisions anyway.” You try to sound like a 40s husband on purpose.
Bucky's head snaps to you. “You sound like my grandfather.”
“So you are familiar how this works.” You finally give him a smile.
“I'm gonna take care of you. No one will hurt you.” He still doesn’t get it, so you decide to explain.
“You will do whatever I say until I trust you to make your own decisions.” Your voice is firm. You don’t like it, to be honest, because you know this is super hard, especially for someone like him... giving away the control knowing everything he's been through, but what choice do you have?
Bucky frowns. “What does that mean?”
“It means if you want me back, you will let me decide on things for a while. You took my choice away and made us both suffer. Letting me decide is how you earn my trust back.”
His stomach aches. “I don't feel... what does that mean? There are many things, I can't just...”
You can see the panic so clearly and you realize how this must have sounded. “Calm down, Bucky. I don’t mean everything. Just things about our relationship.”
“Your safety is off the table,” he says without hesitation, and you’re surprised he doesn’t protest about something else. “You can decide on everything else.”
“Nope. That’s what got us here.” You sound calm.
“You don't understand the level of the danger.” His voice is trembling. “Everything but your safety.”
“You fucking left me over this, Bucky!” You raise your voice a little because what if he finds another Hydra member and tries to leave you again? “How can I trust you and accept this? How can I know you won’t do it again and say it is for my safety?”
“Conditions. Name them all, I am up for it, but I cannot play around with this. I couldn’t sleep for weeks because of it. Please... I need to be in control just in this aspect. I need to protect you.”
You think for a second. “You talk to me first. That’s the condition.”
Bucky leans in and steals your fry, agreeing happily immediately. “Done.”
“And you need to respect my decisions. Even if you don’t like them. I don’t like yours all the time, but…”
“When did I not respect your decisions? I think you are very bright and rational, usually.”
“When you didn’t even ask me and took a decision for me.” You look into his eyes daringly.
“Would you have stayed away from me? And I said usually.”
“I wouldn’t and it would be my decision.” He can’t use this against you.
“Why?”
“I could hide, I could act like we aren’t together, I could act like I hate you, but I can’t stay away.”
“We could never act.” He kisses your forehead.
“Fine. We could only see each other in secret then.” That was another possibility.
He smiles like what you said reminds him of something. “When can we have a date?”
“Tomorrow?”
“I hope you won't change your mind.” He grabs your head and you squeeze it.
“I won’t ever change my mind about you.”
You kiss him before placing the plate on the coffee table and resting your head on his chest where it feels like home.
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wildmelon · 8 months
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well, it finally happened, a big cc creator told me not to put their cc in my sim dumps... it's a creator i couldn't find tou for at the time (and still can't now, just tried for research purposes) so i went with common sense rules like "don't include cc that's in early access" and "don't paywall other ppl's cc" which i obviously would never do. i did change the dl to appease them, but...
i'm feeling torn between wanting to be considerate/understanding and absolute irritation at what this community has become, especially in light of the absurd influx of brand new cc creators who aren't part of the community paywalling their very first posts. i'm thinking about the text post that was going around recently that said something like "imagine if the simblr community was actually collaborative and we shared creations openly" instead of this for-profit entity it's become.
this creator's been nothing but polite so i don't want to seem like i'm after them but they're also making so much money monthly off cc that you'd think it'd be ok to use that cc. bc literally what else is a sim dump. i use a bunch of cc and it's included in the download for convenience, then people put the cc in their own game and everything is exactly the same from there-- your name on the file, your name on the cas preview.
except, of course, the downloader didn't visit your page in the first place, so you missed out on another potential patron/click (never mind the fact that the creators i use for sim dumps are intentionally bigger so people are more likely to already have the cc/know who the creator is, so you probably didn't miss out anyway).
the other thing is that anyone who won't let their cc be used in sim dumps must understand that if everyone else followed that rule, sharing sims with each other would pretty quickly become way too tedious and that entire way of engaging with the community would fall apart. how can you justify a rule that would unquestionably harm the community if every creator followed it? it's both unsustainable and ungenerous.
the bottom line is we need to reconsider how we approach creations made for this game. if you're a creator and your goal is not for your creation to be used, shared, and enjoyed, why are you even making cc? (& money is not a good answer 😀)
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noellefan101 · 2 months
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Too Scared to Let Go(To Lose You)
Characters; Lynette, Navia, Xiao, Scaramouche, Lyney, Kaeya, La Signora x gn Reader
Summary; they wont let go of you, no matter what. They can't protect you from harm when they aren't there, so they hold you close to ensure you're there. they've already lost so much.
Warnings; angst, maybe a little bit yandere,
Notes; i did the obvious like xiao, scara, signora and stuff but if i make a part two ill maybe put someone like barbara or nilou in, but that would just be them having intrusive thoughts... probably. will add diluc and venti there as well dont worry, love you
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Lynette
She always thinks that you're going to die at some point, get kidnapped or just straight up leave, these thoughts come up once every week or so. But when your out and about or just working late, her thoughts run faster than ever. Of course she has lyney and the rest of the house, but she's just gotten so used to being with both lyney and you now that it doesnt quite feel the same. So her solution is often to hug you as tight as she can when sleeping, hoping you wont disappear in the morning.
And of course you try and help her as much as you possibly can, reassuring her that you wont leave and that youll find a way to get back to her no matter what happens when out and about, but that sometimes just doesnt cut it.
She doesnt cry often, but when she does its a lot, tears streaming down her face for an hour or two, and even longer if you, Lyney and Freminet aren't there with her.
Navia
She cant let go of you in the morning, it was always like that, but it had gotten so much worse after the loss of her two beloved bodyguards. She often mumbles in her sleep about you and how she wants you to stay. Something along the lines of:
“no… no, don’t go, stay… please!! Just stay with me!”
“please stay… stay with me… where did you go… no, come back, please…”’
“[name]… please stay with me… please… just stay…”
You have to wake her up when it seems like she’s panicking and try your best to comfort her, but sometimes she just doesn’t get any sleep because she wants to make sure you don’t disappear while she is asleep. She is of course the same shining Navia when around other people like the Traveler and Paimon, but everyone can see that she doesn’t want to let go of you at all, fearing you’ll vanish if you leave her line of sight for even just a second, its like you’re glued to her.
If people ever see you, they know for a fact that Navia is also there, no matter what. Oh, you want to go over and wish your friend a happy birthday, well she can carry a gift for them with her so you don’t have to. You wanted to cook something but is missing one singular ingredient, you can you go get it together, don’t worry she isn’t putting back anything for it (she totally is, and has multiple offers and such she should be taking a look at rn).
Xiao
He says he shouldn’t be near you all the time, but doesn’t let go when you make him give in to his desires. He’ll hurt you, and you know that, so why are you still here with him. Wait, no, he isn’t trying to make you go away, please don’t, ever. He just cares about you enough to not want you getting hurt because of his karmic debt, he loves you too much to let that happen. But the thought of you leaving him fills his mind more than the karmic debt at times, he dreads it, the fact that you’ll leave eventually, he doesn’t care if its by choice or fate, just don’t. please, please, please don’t leave, just stay with him, please.
He doesn’t want to let go, but feels he needs to, you tell him its fine yet he feels like it isn’t. it feels like he’s hurting you every second of being with you, yet he doesn’t try to let go, he doesn’t even give the thought a chance. you say you’re fine, yet he feels like you’re not. He
feels like hes hurting you, he’s hurting more because of it. But then why does it hurt more without you, why, oh why. What have you done to him, just what did you do that made him so addicted to you. Swear you’ll never leave him ever, and he will do the same, as long as you’re here with him he swears he wont hurt you, he’ll break the karma in half for you, he’ll do anything. Just don’t leave him, please don’t.
Scaramouche
Everyone would say he’s too cocky, confident, and mean. But that’s all because he doesn’t let them see the vulnerable side of him, the leftovers of Kunikusuhi, the side he only shows to you. He shows you they way he cries at the mere thought you could leave him one day, he sobs in your chest as you comfort him and let him focus and anything but the nightmares haunting his being. He wont ever be like that with anyone that isn’t you, he doesn’t give a shit about them they can do whatever, but you have to stay.
He doesn’t care about all the others as long as you don’t leave him too, he doesn’t care about anything other than you. So please, please don’t leave him, ever, he would watch the world burn over and over again as long as he has you.
If you ever told anyone that the 6th harbinger, scaramouche, cries at night just because you left to go get a glass of water, they would call you crazy, say he’s never cried in his life that you must have seen things. But you know its true, and he does too, even if he doesn’t like to admit it. He knows you wont go, you always say you wont, but he just cant let himself to believe you, not when he’s been lied to so many times. He worries too much about you and he knows that, but how could he not, he loves you, and will never let you leave him because you love him too, right?
Lyney
Although he may be the confident, charming and romantic magician Lyney everyday in public, when he finally lets go of the role at home he’s nowhere near that. He cries just because he wanted to see you and he finally did, he worries about not being able to save you someday. He’s a worrywart to say the least
If you were gone for too long, whether on a mission from father or anything else really, he would not be calm at all until you come back. he would only be rather calm after he got a letter from you or in one of his shows where he put too many layers of masks on to hide it. he wants to think that your ok, just as Lynette say you are, you're strong. but he still cant help but worry,and he ends up panicked and stressed, without sleep, too tired to think sbout anything else other than you. dont leave him, he wouldnt survive without you.
That's why you cant leave him. hell lose his mind, and destroy everything around him in the process. he cant let you leave, so please, please don't. his heart is already fragile, it beats only for you now, so don't leave. don't leave. don't... please... please don't, he cant handle that. so, please, don't leave him, ever. stay right here with him, forever.
Kaeya
He doesnt remember his birth parents, he hates them but a little bit, but mostly because they left him, he cant handle thinking about them. and it only made his pain worse when he lost the people he called his family once again, so he cant afford to lose anything else, not when he feels completely at home once again. you are his home now, his family, and his joy. so don't leave or he might lose his mind and start ruining himself from the inside and out.
He loves you, a lot, you're his reason to continue in life. so if he ever sees you leave he would cry, even if all you are doing is leaving his office after giving him his lunch, he would shed a tear at the sight. his heart is fragile ok? He can't bear to lose his life once again, not after his parents left, not after his adoptive family left too.
Don't go, stay, stay right here with him and everything will be fine. i will all be fine, you trust him after all, and he won't let anyone touch you, let alone hurt you. you're safe here with him, don't worry about them, worry about him. you've got him wrapped around your finger without even knowing, you could want a certain sweet from Inazuma and he'll get it as fast as possible. you can get anything you want, ok? The only condition is that you stay right here with him, and only him.
La Signora
She swore she wasn’t going to fall for anyone after her first lover died, so why did she fall for you, how did she fall for you. Honestly you don’t know and she doesn’t either, she doesn’t know how you were able to melt her ice cold heart back to normal, even if only around you and you only, if anyone else is around it freezes back quicker than lightning can strike. She thought she wasn’t able to love again after he died, but you proved her wrong, so you can’t leave too. She cant deal with the death of her lover once again, so don’t leave her, ever.
You hug her in the night as she cries a little, mad at you for leaving her in her dream, but still not mad at you, as her anger is mostly to the world for doing this to her. But don’t worry, she’ll fall asleep eventually as she always does, she does need her beauty sleep after all. But that doesn’t mean she’ll wake up and easily let go again or just get out of bed, she’s stubborn and want you all for herself a little longer. She makes you talk a little as you carefully brush her hair like she taught you to do, and she relaxes a bit when you tell her you love her while kissing her head.
As long as you promise you wont leave her, and keep that promise, she’ll love you forever, she cant bare to see you go out the door even if its just for groceries, someone else can do that don’t worry. Just come and relax with her in a bath, she can wash your hair and you can wash hers. She’ll take care of you like you take care of her, just don’t leave, please. If you ever left her alone for too long she would freak out, she does everything with you, baths, shopping, paperwork even, so she cant bear to be left alone for longer than 30 minutes or she’ll panic. So don’t leave her please, please, please don’t, she’ll even beg for you to not leave her, just stay here with her.
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Thank u for reading this, i know this took a long time and I havent posted things these few like weeks I think but I may have writers block(idk why I say it like that) and this was made over like a few months actually heh, luv ya
You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts
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mossy123302 · 6 days
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Since it seems we're changing, or head cannoning how Tallulah is found and adopted by Missa and Philza.
I'd like to think Missa found her....
Missa decided to make a quick visit to his family before going back to his travels.
Missa, who decided he wanted to explore the island a bit more, having ideas and plans to make his rollercoaster ideas. He couldn't help himself but revisit the adoption center to reminisce when he met Philza again and this very same place that united him and Phil to become parents to their mighty warrior, Chayanne.
And suddenly, Missa perks up when he hears faint shuffling from above. He's nervous now, but also worried... because surely there aren't any mobs in this lit place, because sure, it's abandoned but no mobs haven't spawned here. So...does this mean there is one more egg?
With that in mind, Missa quickly hurried to dig up some dirt and use them to help him get up to the attic where he finds another egg...and bless his heart, Missa couldn't just leave the egg behind. Missa being so gentle and careful as he approaches the egg, introducing himself and wondering why this egg was left in the attic and not with the other eggs on the first day of adoption.
Regardless, the egg was here and Missa will be damned that he'd leave this egg on their own. The egg still being alive is a shock and a miracle, and Missa wasn't going to test the luck any further, surely this may be a sign from the Gods that Missa was meant to find her on this night. So Missa carefully picked the egg up and headed home, and quietly telling stories to the egg, as he makes his way home, and telling the egg that she will love this new home..
A father with beautiful wings that resemble the night sky, a name feared by others and a big brother that resembles an ancient warrior of the past and strikes fear to anyone who remembers.
Whether Philza was awake to meet Missa one last time and be introduced to a new egg. Or not, therefore Missa leaving a small note and a new child in Philza's care...
Tallulah, their niña, whose heart is full of love and wishing to share it, the same way her dad, Missa had done for her.
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birbs89 · 28 days
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cool things and interesting stuff I saw in the new spooky month episode and just me obsessing over it lol
WARNING!: major spoilers for the new spooky month episode
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I really liked Father Gregor because honestly his design is cool in my opinion and I liked that even though he's a priest who in other shows I've seen are almost always made as good and flawless people but in spooky month Father Gregor still has his flaws especial his flaw with how fast he went to blaming Skid and Pump for being the ones who caused Moloch to be freed (there kinda at fault but c'mon their kids)
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also Moloch has to have my FAVORITE design for a demon I've seen in media I love how he has the hooves like one's that goats have since how much goats are associated with demons, I adore the furnace type of thing seen on his stomach, and I like how his hands and claws look
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and also because Moloch created in my personal the funniest scene in the episode when he panics when his name is revealed to Father Gregor by Pump
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also some things about Moloch possession it seems that he can just posses anyone he decides to posses and that he can also posses and control multiple people at a time and when he is not possessing a body he is either in his demon form or in a liquid form
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final thing about Moloch is that I kinda feel bad for him for some reason (I think it's just because of how sad Skid and Pump were when seeing that Father Gregor killed him)
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also feel incredibly bad for Dexters mom poor girl had to experience the loss of her son and then be lured and killed by the same demon who was the reason her son died
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also can we PLEASE give Lila a break poor girl is going through actual hell
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Pumps eyes seem to only be blue when he's in a very dark area
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and I think from the implications and things Father Gregor said I think Skids father is dead maybe dying sometime when he was in the cult
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love how Ignacio just without a second thought shoots Moloch and I think the scene is a reference to Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 specificality the Garbage Day scene since he shoots Moloch right after putting down a garbage can
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also speaking of Ignacio I think he might have been an ex cult member since the picture frame where he's holding the birthday cake I think that might be Skids dad also holding the cake with him and if he is a ex cult member it explains why he's boarded up and barricaded his house since they might have tried to kill him in the past
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father of the year award goes to John (also Jack) because of how caring this man is to comforting Skid and Pump when they start thinking they aren't good enough and are a problem to their parents and of how much a good father he was to his daughter
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love every scene we got with Patty during this episode (also she's very pretty :])
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also thought this guy with the briefcase was a reference to Doug from the Fnaf movie lol
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also it's revealed in the ending of the episode seen on the NewGrounds version of the episode that the two thief's and the Candy Dealer are apart of the cult so I guess I was right about them having something to do with the cult in my theory
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also we get to see the spider monster we saw in a sketch Sr Pelo posted (can't find and if I did couldn't add it since image limit:[) I think it might be the main villain of the next episode and It seems to be in some way connected with the mannequin/Skids dad from the mannequin theory (if it's cannon idk) since at the end of the episode the spider picks the mannequin up and looks at it
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we get to see the The Eyes of the Universe in this episode and I was right in my theory that he was located under the cults mansion since we see the cultist take Father Gregor their to be sacrificed in the end of the episode
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also Roy seems to be losing it at this point
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tac-bat · 11 months
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You know what I love? I love that the valley twins aren’t carbon copies from each other!!!
and you might be wondering, well how exactly? I’ll show you!!!!! (Because I’ve spent way to much time staring at them, also this post is very long) (and i use old concept art names to refer to them as such, its just what i'm used to, they aren't cannon)
Body types
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different body types! Sah (spike hair) has more wide shoulders than Mekh (flat hair). And because of this, Sah has the most slay snatched waist I’ve ever seen JEBEJVDHE even mekh's waist isint as snatched
Prosthetic's
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If you don’t already know (and I don’t blame you) the twins have prosthetic arms on where their eyes are missing. (They’re practically invisible in their cutscene, and even their pin doesn’t have them, I hate it.) anyways they both have different patterns!
Mekh’s, is more detailed, has a shoulder decoration and generally more to it.
And Sahs’ is more simple, it gets the job done. I feel like from the look on their prosthetic's alone you can get an idea of their tastes :3
Another quick think but it also seems Mekh’s uniform is sleeveless on the side of where their prosthetic is! Sah has both of their sleeves. I wonder why?
Gloves
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Even their gloves are different! Sah’s glove (left) for their prosthetic is thumbless, the other fingerless. When both of Mekh’s (left) gloves are fingerless!
A detail i'm not sure off, but it also seems like the gloves on both twins prosthetic's are bunched up more compare to the gloves on their live arms.
Sticks
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I noticed this on my recent eden trip that the sticks the twins hold when you complete the constellation are different too!! Mekh's stick on the ends have more width, and Sah’s is more consistent with width. Which is just— so fucking cool!! They have their own sticks!!!!! They’re not just copy and paste!!!!!!!!
Stances
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this isint leaked, this was a wip from their orbit gift animation by Ari Flesch from his artstation account (who made the animation) which i've linked.
Anyways different stances!!! Mekh has their feet together when Sah doesn't! You can also see what I mean about the ends of their sticks having different width's much clearer!!!
Sah’s Cracked Mask
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My fav detail is Sah’s mask (also not in the pin and invisible in cutscenes), they have a crack over their eye when Mekh doesn’t! This small detail has gave me so many evil ideas on how they got it and it makes me wonder HOW it even happened. :3
Cutscene Details
OH BOY CUTSCENE TIME, HERE'S THINGS IVE NOTICED!!
Sah seems to hold their paddle backwards when Mekh doesn’t. But Sah still ends up in the same position as Mekh despite that! (maybe to one up, who knows) But that show's that even here, their animations weren't just copy pasted, there's DIFFERENCES!!
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Mekh is faster than Sah, and even shows Mekh being the first to leap up and land when approaching the player, when Sah is just starting to land in the 2nd image. This makes the timing of it intentional!!
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okay i think thats it thats all i can remember atm!! Ofc there’s so much more, but this post is more focused on the details that can be missed by normal folks. So I thought I share the ones that might be interesting to see that you might’ve not known about.
but yes, thank you to the folks of tgc in charge of their character design's and animation's for not giving the twins the copy paste treatment. Thank you for making them have their own quirks, their own personalities, and their own differences!!!!
Thank you for making them their own person!
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anyaeras · 7 months
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Fucked up day || Wandnat
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Paring Wanda x Natasha x Reader
Summary || Wanda and Natasha got a little carried away this Friday the 13th, but they did it in the name of love hmm?
Warnings || smut ,, AFAB!reader (They/them pronouns) ,, dom!wanda ,, dom!GP!Natasha ,, sub!reader ,, cunnalingus ,, d!v sex ,, light bondage ,, murder mentions ,, dark!plot ideas ,, slight mommy!kink ,, (a little degrading, if you squint) ,, manipulation concepts
Twitter Masterlist
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Friday the 13th Was all a joke to you, a stupid day that everybody wanted to act absurd, especially this Friday the 13th as it was in October approaching Halloween, you on the other hand had decided to have a quiet evening, until the news came on.
Reporting that multiple suspicious murders have taken place in your nearby city, no idea who the suspected killer is and it seems that they were still loose.
Clearly that's a little unsettling as a serial killer on the loose nearby isn't the most comforting feeling, yet it must be a whole Nother Friday the 13th prank that has gone way too far.
Now around 8:30 at night long after the sun had set, the cold brisk of the fall evening had settled, in the kitchen y/n was preparing a late dinner, simple really cutting up a few vegetables for the dish just than their phone with off.
'Unknown caller ID' the name read thinking nothing of it y/n let it go to voice mail, yet moments after the number called again.
Curiosity, overpowered ignorance, with that y/n picked up their cell.
"Do you like scary movies?" A strange male sounding voice asked over the line, leaving y/n with a shiver.
"Umm not really, I don't watch them a lot" y/n replied not thinking to much about it as none of this seemed familiar.
"What a shame, I wanted to know what's your favorite scary movie?" The raspy voice asked and that's when it hit her, the movies with the stabbing, that's what the line was from.
"Haha very funny, trying to prank me with a line from a movie" y/n said clearly not impressed before hanging up, a huge horror movie mistake.
Then again it was just a joke, going on continuing, making their meal, the sound of the front door opening, caught them off guard.
"Hello? Can I help you?" Y/n voice shouted threw the house.
"Yes sure you can y/n." The same raspy voice from over the phone now was heard throughout their house.
"This isn't funny what is this a sick joke to you?!" Y/n shouted now finally a bit uneasy with the whole situation, especially because I had no idea who would come into their house.
Y/n felt something or should they say someone quickly grab them pulling them backwards, kicking and screaming to get loose yet someone in a ghost face mask also now stood in front of them.
"every good screen movie always has two killers" the ghost face in front said.
Y/n was manhandled into a chair tied down in merely seconds.
"See y/n all these killing tonight were for you, we did it for you." The ghostface behind y/n explained
"What do you mean you did this for me? You killed innocent people?!" Y/n shouted out now confused and disgusted.
A phone was pulled from the front ghostfaces pocket, showing y/n each person who was killed, each one in someway had a relationship to y/n and they knew it.
"Y-you kill my friends? W-why?" Managing to stutter out words, almost frozen in a form of shock.
"They weren't your friends, especially not him!" the first ghost face was clearly becoming impatient as they should the photo of y/n's boyfriends slashed body, causing y/n to gasp, a few tears falling down their face.
"You're sick!"
"We aren't sick, we are protecting you, he would've just hurt you honey, we will protect you" at that point the slasher in front took off their mask, revealing themself
"Natasha?" Y/n gasped seeing the fiery redhead under the mask
"W-who's that-" now asking referring to the other masked murderer confused if one of them was Natasha, then who could the other one be?
Removing the mask, a shimmering Burnett was revealed
"Wanda? Why? Why me? Are you both going to kill me now?" They asked the two once masked murders who giggled in response to said question.
"Of course not silly, we did it all to save you, we wouldn't want to hurt you dear" Wanda spoke softly her knife touching y/n face gently.
"S-so what exactly do you want with me" clearly y/n was still confused on why their friends caused all these killings when the only reasoning they gave y/n was they killed them was to 'save you'
Natasha took her turn moving closer so that she could grab y/n's jaw forcing them to look up at her.
"Y/n, Wanda and I want all of you детка. You are ours" Natasha spoke soft words in a harsh tone
"SO YOU KILLED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE, ARE YOU GUYS DUMB WHAT IF YOU GET CAUGHT?" Y/n shouted finding the whole situation absolutely absurd.
"Are you going to turn us in?" Natasha's face held the same signature smirk, each word was taunting to the person tied in the chair.
"No they wouldn't turn us in, they don't wanna lose us" Wanda joined in on the teasing, giving y/n a quick kiss
Y/n couldn't help but enjoy the kiss, as much as they didn't want to due to the circumstances, y/n did have a tiny crush on the two women.
"That's pathetic y/n, you didn't even pull away" Wanda laughed clearly y/n wanted them even after they killed, and tied them up, and both older women knew that would be the outcome, that's why they did it.
"Guys I- umm" y/n being flustered made Natasha laugh, now taking a kiss herself from the tied up y/n.
"It's okay to want us детка" Wanda spoke softly brushing some of y/n's loose hair out of their face.
"But I shouldn't-" quickly y/n's words were hushed by the two other women who wanted to ruin the innocent one who was tied to a chair.
Natasha was getting fed up with y/n going back and forth and finally took things into her own hands. Swiftly moving to kiss now down y/n's neck, making them gasp at the feeling.
"T-Tasha" y/n's words were breathy as the redhead kept kissing on them
"Darling it seems you're a little trapped, would you like us to stop?" Wanda asked softly yet she was serious, for being a bit crazy, she was still caring and didn't want to do anything to harm y/n. Natasha also pulled away for a moment looking up at y/n for their consent yet when y/n whined for them to keep going the knew it was free game.
Natasha moved back into sucking non y/n's neck while Wanda dropped to her knees between y/n's legs.
"Can mommy taste you honey?" The name caught y/n off guard yet they still nodded giving Wanda the go, now as the witch moved y/n's pants to the floor, along with their panties she almost went feral just at the site.
"Fuck" the one tied to the chair huffed out biting their lip as Wanda got to work, having fun working y/n up
"Look at you, all tied up for us" Natasha teased as Wanda was a bit busy.
Natasha moved to grope y/n's body even more, slowly bringing them over the edge.
"Let go for us моя ангел" the redhead coaxed them over the edge, forcing y/n into their first orgasm.
Wanda lifted her head to forcefully kiss y/n, making them taste themself on her cherry colored lips. As Wanda held the kids her hands moved behind the chair, untying y/n's arms, so that the Burnett could reposition the once tied up y/n, now pushing them onto all fours, Natasha stood behind, while Wanda moved to stand in front.
"Can we use you pretty one?" Wanda bent down asking softly, yet her words were far from innocent, yet with y/n's brain already being fuzzy they were quick to nod along.
Natasha undid her jeans, pulling out her dick, finding a way to line up with y/n's cunt, slowly sliding into them making y/n moan out loudly, which Wanda countered by forcing y/n's mouth onto her cunt, giving the Burnett pleasure each time y/n moaned, Tasha on the other hand was railing y/n from behind as her dick was covered now in y/n's slick juices, making it easier for her to move in and out, which was causing y/n to scream moving closer to their second climax's.
"F-fuck I-I'm close" y/n groaned out, making Natasha thrust harder, as she herself was rather close.
"Make mommy cum and you can cum y/n" Wanda ordered making y/n work even harder at eating out Wanda, focusing on her clit more than before until the women's legs were shaking as she let go her orgasm left, prominent on y/n's face.
"Go on дорогой let go" Wanda whispered as Natasha also let her seed fill y/n, which was the finally push, making y/n shake as she orgasmed loudly.
"You did so good baby" Natasha whispered pulling out slowly, still using her arms to help support y/n, as it was clear they couldn't stand on their own.
"So so good for us, but детка, we have got to get out of here" Wanda explained now lifting y/n, supporting their weight, as Natasha grabbed keys, they were ready to skip town due to the early nights activities but as well as taking y/n far far away from this fucked up town, on the fucked up day....
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