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selfproclaimedunicorn · 1 month

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director’s cut on aldreda’s childhood/emotional development!

This has activated something in my brain that’s probably gonna see me writing a full lore novel about Aldreda & (my version) of Dance Era House Farwynd, like, I’m literally typing this up on a google doc just for my own ease of answering, I have no idea how long this is going to be lmao. Anyway, I’m gonna start off with a couple things that definitely need to be known as the baseline & then I’ll move on from there with wherever the wind takes me.

The baseline of knowledge we need to go forward is this: Aldreda is the only girl out of 21 children, she watched her number of siblings slowly dwindle starting from the time she was 4 until she was 26, she is one of only 2 kids her dad’s rock wife/Ironborn wife had.

There’s not really any way to sugar coat either of Aldreda’s parents. They both suck in their own way. Their relationship was never good. but it’s definitely in shambles now. They are the source of a lot of Aldreda being the way she is, they aren’t all of it (we’ll get to the rest of it) but they are a big, big foundational part.

Alfric Farwynd, the Lord Reaver of Lonely Light is the archetypical Ironborn lord. He’s what everyone wants to be, but he’s so far away from every other noble house in the Iron Islands that he just kind of gets ignored a lot of the time & has unchecked power over his lonely little island. He has 3 salt wives, one of which he kidnapped/married before he even got married to his arranged islander wife. He spent his entire youth raiding & pillaging & he probably has an army of bastard kids he doesn’t know about amongst the thralls of other Ironborn houses & his own castle & even on the mainland if any women got left behind. This guy sucks, he saw a vat of “respect women juice” & dumped it into the ocean so no one could drink it. He doesn’t care about his wives, he barely cares about his daughter, & the only reason he doesn’t have any more kids is because his wives started getting menopausal & his dick stopped working when he was in his mid 60s (RIP Alfric Farwynd, you would have loved viagra). The only person who will ever live up to his expectations is himself, and he was the measuring stick he held up to his sons. He constantly criticized them & they never were exactly how he wanted by virtue of being their own people instead of extensions of himself like he wanted; they were sons though & they met his expectations better than Aldreda ever did. Especially after they died, when they could stop disappointing him & he could project whatever prowesses & perfections onto them he wanted (this was especially true of the ones who died in the cradle & didn’t even get tainted memories of their “failings”). Aldreda kind of wasn’t even a neat party trick to parade around, she was mostly ignored & if asked he'd really only be able to say “she's one of my kids, man, I don’t know. She has my eyes, I like that.” He was cold & distant & critical, & he loves his brothers in his own way but he’s not really “dad material” because he’s too caught up in the toxic pseudo-viking machismo of the Iron Islands. As a little girl, Aldreda was terrified of him, and even as an adult in her late 20s she kind of still is; but she covers that up by performing the same kind of toxic attitudes Alfric has & lashing out within the parameters of Ironborn Manliness As Filtered Through The Lense Of A Woman Victimized By It.

Lady Melusine Myre is…not mentally okay. She is resentful, she is full of grief, & she doesn’t know where to put any of it. She only had 2 children: Ronas & Aldreda. Her son died in the cradle before her daughter was even born, her husband blamed her for his death, & when he finally came back to her she had a daughter & he never came back. She blames the salt wives for her husband being Like This & harbors resentment for those 3 women who don’t even want to be there & each son they give her husband; she doesn’t celebrate when those boys & men die though, because how can she? Their mothers mourn like she does & she understands that pain at least. She has never been her husband’s first choice, & really he probably wouldn’t have been hers, but she was promised the story of “being a noble reaver’s rock wife, his real wife he can only have one of who will give him sons & carry on the family line & he’ll like you more than all those silly mainland wives he takes. It is a good thing for your husband to have those, by the way, it means he is prosperous & rich & can take care of that many wives & all their kids!” She tells herself she’s okay with it, but she isn’t. She wants love & closeness & intimacy, but she hasn’t gotten that a day in her adult life since she got shipped off to Lonely Light away from the other Iron Islands to marry The Absolute Most Ironborn Man There Is Currently. She doesn’t have a partner, she lost her son, she got abandoned but still has to live with the man who did that to her, so she uses her only kid to fill her emotional needs. Like, Lady Melusine’s boundaries with Aldreda are paper fucking thin, they basically aren’t there. Aldreda is her mom’s therapist, she has to live up to her standards that change every day, & she has never had a moment of privacy with that woman. “It doesn’t matter that you started puberty, I’m your mother & I don’t need to knock to come into your room.”/“It doesn’t matter that you’re a grown woman now, I’m your mother & I’m going to rant at you about some slight against me while you’re taking a bath or getting changed.” And in return for this fucky, laborious emotional incest, Aldreda’s payment is “I will support you doing your gender weird stuff & back you up now that you’re the only claimant to Lonely Light,” & yes that is tied to how much Lady Melusine loves her daughter, but it’s also got a small undercurrent of “if you want to replace all your dead brothers, that is my revenge against everyone who I think has wronged me when you succeed.”

So Aldreda has this just really intense parental situation while living in an incredibly isolated & insular court. Growing up her friends were either her half brothers, or the children of her father’s raiders, or some thrall’s kid: vast power & age imbalances. Aldreda’s oldest brother was 25 when she was born, & she was 20 when her youngest brother was born.

Her favorite person was her older brother Orwen (who was 20 when he died, & Aldreda was 13 when that happened). She looked up to him & wanted to be like him, at least in some respects, & he took care of her. Aldreda wasn’t just “his annoying little sister,” he taught her to fight & brought her little trinkets back from raids & told her cool stories about how badass he was during said raids. Orwen was great, but, like, also one of his best friends was their Open-Secret-Serial-Predator-To-Tween-And-Teen-Girls cousin, Westley. Orwen kept Aldreda safe from him, he warned her to not spend time with him alone & in turn told Westley to leave her alone, but Aldreda was still being nurtured in an environment where people were just kind of lowkey okay with what was going on & really only cared to protect her.

Her childhood was never that idyllic, but when she was super little she tried really hard to convince herself it was. She was 4 the first time one of her brothers died, then there were 2 more a year later, & then things were okay until she was 9 & 1 more died; little baby Aldreda didn’t really get it but she knew that there were stories about House Farwynd skinchanging into seals & so she just got it in her head that early to decide that’s what happened with her brothers. “Sure, Winfirth/Faren & Edgard/Theon are gone, but they aren’t gone gone! They’re seals now! I went down to the rookery & picked the one(s) I think is him/them!” And she never stopped doing that. Because yes, her parents suck & her dad only kind of loves them & her mom wants her to not love her half-brothers, but they’re her brothers & she loves them. She grieves & mourns for the short time she allows herself by going pure copium & deciding “this seal is my brother & he will get to live on as that animal for another 15 or so years, maybe 25 if we don’t set him loose!” & then she moves on (or at least convinces herself she does) because she doesn’t want to be like her parents. Except she is. She has turned Orwen into a saint in her memory, she has built her dead brothers up in her mind to act as the voice of her own self-doubt & self-criticism; and she is full of grief that she’s choking on & doesn’t know what to do with. She can’t let it out though, so it eats at her from the inside until she does something either to herself or someone else to let it out with sex or violence (like, she was fully carrying on an affair with the thrall who used to be Orwen’s salt wife for a good 5 years & was just like “this is a normal thing to do”).

When she lost 3 brothers in one fell swoop at 13 (favorite included), she decided “I am a girl, but I’m a son, y’know? Daughter but in a boy type way” & cut her hair short & started trying to live up to the persona Lord Alfric wanted of his sons & joined her cousin’s crew to go on raids. Except Orwen was dead & there was no one to save Aldreda from Westley, his men weren’t going to stop him from grooming her & making her attachment styles even worse (because he threatened them). She’s been fixated on him since she was 13/14 & it was a “positive” fixation until she was 26, then he showed his true colors of just being blindly ambitious & also a little bit delusional but she can’t stop being fixated on him because that’s over a decade of being manipulated & abused & thinking they were star crossed lovers & that “when he says the time is right I'm going to give him my maidenhead.” She still romanticizes what happened to her before remembering all the harm she learned he did & then it turns into the most (justifiably) hateful & violent fixation known to man: it's still a fixation though.

She's not her mother or her father, she's something entirely separate & wholly worse: their daughter who never stopped being a sad, traumatized teenage girl in the middle of being emotionally abused & manipulated.

#asks #oc: aldreda farwynd

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mixelation · 1 year

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I’m rereading plasticity and now I really want to see tori freeing herself and maybe another Akatsuki member from some kind of prison using a seal made of food. Could she use blood? Yes, but yogurt would absolutely be funnier

here u go :) kisame pov because why not

Later, Itachi would say of the matter: It was foolish of us to accept food from them.

For now, Itachi was passed out face down in the storage room of a small ship. His arms had been pulled back into an awkward position, then tied behind him. They’d tied his feet too.

Kisame found his hands and feet were also bound, although their captors had done him the grace of dumping him on his side. His head hurt and he felt woozy, like his limbs were made of lead. He let his eyelids slide close again, fighting off his body’s demands to pass out and demanding his brain figure out what to do.

It was lucky they hadn’t outright killed them, Kisame supposed. They had stripped him and Itachi of their cloaks and weapons, leaving his arms bare. God knew what they’d done with Samehada.

The air was heavy in here, from poor circulation. The musty scent of leafy greens turning old lingered, mixing with the smell of sea salt. Kisame laid among stacks of wooden crates, some of which must be food stores. There was the sound of shuffling movement behind him.

Tori, he thought, and then didn’t have the energy to crane his head and look.

Kisame did not think their captors had anticipated any of them waking any time soon. But Kisame was a large man with an atypical biochemistry, and he worked poisons off faster than most. Tori was… her own special brand of being a bit of a freak.

“I might be dead,” she announced into the air. “Kisame, Itachi, are either of you dead?”

Her voice hurt his head.

“I’m alive,” he managed. “Give me a moment.”

He needed a lot of moments. He concentrated on the rocking of the boat, on the movement of the sea outside. Their captors weren’t used to restraining ninja– they hadn’t tied his hands in a way that he couldn’t form hand signs. They were awkward, but the untying jutsu was basic kiddy stuff.

Unfortunately, Kisame’s chakra was feeling strange. The poison had messed it up somehow, or messed up his body’s ability to mold it. That was an uncommon but not unheard of side-effect, Kisame knew, although he couldn’t put any names of poisons to this side-effect. It would fast with the other effects of poison.

It took him four tries, but he eventually got it. By the time he’d very laboriously sat up, Tori had already freed her hands and was picking at the rope around her ankles. Evidently they had not bothered to tie her particularly well.

That was fair, Kisame thought. Tori was really obviously a soft civilian woman. He wouldn’t have bothered retraining her at all.

(This would, of course, be a huge mistake.)

Tori stood up, wincing and grabbing for one of the wooden crates to steady herself. So, she was doing much better than him. How embarrassing.

“What do we do?” she asked, voice low, as she kneeled over Itachi and checked for a pulse.

She glanced over at Kisame, face obviously hopeful he was just going to stand up and kick down the door. And maybe he would. In a few hours. Tomorrow, maybe. Not now, though.

“I’m not even sure I can stand,” Kisame answered dully. “We’ll wait it out.”

He watched her pick apart Itachi’s ties and then awkwardly roll him over. Itachi didn’t so much as grunt, well and truly passed out. Then she leaned back against another stack of crates and closed her eyes.

A long time passed, during which Kisame did not feel even slightly better. None of the crew came to check on them, nor did they hear so much as footsteps outside the room. The boat rocked gently along.

“If someone came in,” Tori said, shifting against the crate, “could you overpower them?”

“Maybe,” Kisame answered. Gods, I hope so, he thought. Their captors might retaliate if one walked in to find they were awake and had freed themselves. On the other hand, if he could fight, this would be a very convenient way of escaping.

Kisame attempted to stand. He failed. It was very embarrassing.

His attempt was so pathetic that Tori seemed to decide she now needed to be the one in charge of escaping. She stood much more gracefully, which is to say, she had to use the crate to hoist herself up but didn’t fall on her ass. She then teetered around the cramped little room, peering into crates and occasionally pushing one out of the way with great effort.

“Oh,” she gasped in delight at the contents of one crate. “My old friend!”

She held up… a sausage. It was one of those dried ones that could be kept at room temperature and traveled well, with a fuzzy white casing.

“Thi must have been here a while,” Tori babbled, poking around in the crate. “The Penicillium fungus is really overgrown.”

“Is it okay to eat, then?” Kisme asked dully. They weren’t really part of Water Country cuisine and he did not like the idea of eating “overgrown” fungus. But maybe food would help him feel better.

“Oh yeah, totally fine,” Tori told him. She turned it over in her hands, face thoughtful in a way that did not bode well for anyone on the boat.

“Don’t do anything insane,” Kisame told her. He needed to remind Itachi of this frequently, although he hoped Tori was more likely to listen to advice than Itachi.

“I wouldn’t,” she defended, and then proceeded to do something so insane it would give Itachi a run for his money.

Turned out, Tori spent a lot of time making seals with increasingly weird chakra sources.

“It takes way more math than I anticipated,” Tori said, pressing excess sausage fungus into the floorboards with her fingers. “I think if I studied more math, I could use my parameter estimates to come up with a standard formula for adjustments…”

Kisame had no idea what she was talking about. Kisame had read his fair share of jutsu development scrolls, and none of them touched on even half the things Tori was rambling about. All he understood was that Tori had a solution for not being able to mold chakra, which was literally only useful to ninja in Kisame’s current position.

He did roll Itachi's body out of the way when she asked, and then emptied some smaller crates. Every movement was a struggle, but he did think he felt slightly better.

When she was done, Tori knocked over the largest stack of crates, creating a horrible number of loud noises. Then she sat on a crate facing the door, crossing her legs at the knee. Kisame rolled his eyes at her dramatics, then crouched behind a crate, right at Itachi’s side to cover him if Tori fucked this up.

Predictably, crew members came running. Kisame could hear them arguing on the other side of the door, followed by the mechanical sound of the bar over the door sliding out. The door was flung open, revealing four crew members with weapons raised.

“Hello there,” Tori greeted. She sounded unfairly perky given how bad Kisame knew she felt.

When no ninja immediately jumped out to ambush them, two of the men stepped cautiously into the room and then immediately collapsed, their bodies not even twitching. The seal Tori had drawn on the floor in white fungus hadn’t looked like much of anything, and civilians weren’t used to looking for traps like that.

The other two men, still in the little corridor outside, were too shocked by the abrupt loss of their crewmates to react. Tori hopped to her feet and threw one of the little crates at them.

Even a civilian could dodge something thrown by Tori, who was not fast or strong by any standards. But the space was small, and dodging wouldn’t have helped anyway: the seal on the crate activated, and a pink barrier blossomed around them, trapping them in place.

“Did you actually make it pink?” Kisame wondered out loud as he stood. Yes, he was starting to feel better.

“I like pink,” Tori told him as he hefted Itachi’s limp form over his shoulders. Itachi actually let out a sad, tiny moan. Good. Even a half-dead Itachi could genjutsu the shit out of people.

The floor seal had only been good for one shot, and Tori carefully stepped over the bodies and then squeezed her way around the barrier. She was carrying two more little crates with her, making the squeezing very awkward. There was a narrow and very steep staircase at the end of the corridor, and Tori climbed it with much enthusiasm and several near-falls as the crates kept her off-balance.

Under more normal circumstances, Kisaame would make her let him go first. But she seemed like she was having fun, and he felt like shit. Bending to pick up one of the dead men’s swords reignited his headache to such an extent he thought for a moment he’d vomit.

There was an explosion up above, followed by a lot of screaming.

Still feeling like absolute shit, Kisame moved slowly with Itachi over his shoulders. They encountered no one, which was good because apparently Tori hadn’t considered she might have to cover for Kisame and Itachi during her brilliant escape plan. He didn't think Tori ever worried about needing to prevent violence happening to any member of Akatsuki but herself.

They encountered no one because Tori had sealed herself alone in the bridge with one of her barriers, and the crew was busy hitting it uselessly with weapons while Tori did whatever the fuck she was doing inside.

“Hey,” Kisame said, slapping the pads of his fingers gently against Itachi’s face. “Wake up.”

Itachi let out an inarticulate groan. Alright then, no genjutsu to make the crew surrender and then sail the ship for them.

Kisame carefully put Itachi down and experimentally swung his stolen sword. It was kind of shit, but it would do. He stepped out into the open.

“Hey there,” he greeted, flashing his teeth.

He could use some light exercise.

xXx

“Just make some clones,” Tori said, sitting cross-legged in the captain’s chair and looking increasingly frustrated with Kisame. At the foot of the chair was a stack of papers she’d drawn seals on in blood and then not had a chance to use.

Kisame felt a little bad about intervening. It was a jerk move to steal a comrade’s fight. He just hadn’t even considered what Tori did was fighting.

He also felt bad he’d killed them all. Not because he felt bad about killing people who’d poisoned and imprisoned him, but because they needed more people to man the boat and get back to land.

“I, um, can’t,” Kisame said. “The poison…”

Tori looked incredibly unimpressed.

Itachi was sitting leaning against the wall, barely conscious. “Foolish,” he breathed out.

“Shut up, Itachi,” Tori said.

#fic: plasticity #my writing

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whatsyourcolor · 7 months

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I hate to info dump but here we go:

1.Kougami picked Akane up ALL ON HIS OWN..Not because someone ordered him to.Remember Garcia told him how he can’t imagine Kougami being responsible for another person?Coming to pick her up was Kougami’s way of mending things.Apologising to the only person he thinks deserves his apology and taking responsibility for his past behaviour by saying sorry.It’s a massive step for him.This is why Akane brushed off his apology.They caught up on the car as well.

2.The reason Akane wasn’t expecting him is most certainly because he works for foreign affairs.Akane was still an MWPSB employee so she probably thought it’d be Mika or the new inspectors.Also that should tell you something that despite being from a competing ministry he’s able to pick her up.He had to have pulled a lot of strings,request and beg tons of people.

3.Kougami made MULTIPLE requests to visit Akane.They were denied except that one time when he managed to get an approval.He didn’t back out of visiting her because it would be a waste of time.Again that’s a big deal because only Mika who’s the chief inspector had online access to Akane.

4.During the visit he put his back on the door because stooping down to her level would be awkward which makes sense?She’s 5’4” and he’s 6” so it would be uncomfortable to stare through a small window in that height for him so idk what’s wrong with that.He said Frederica/Ginoza thought it would be better for him not to visit her also he didn’t bring any souvenirs because he didn’t know what she liked.There wasn’t a lot of time I am sure.Solitary confinement is solitary for a reason.

5.I am not sure if Frederica is keeping in contact with Tenzing.I should hope so.She better make Kougami call her as well.I am not sure why Kougami would be thinking about Akane while he’s fighting MWPSB enforcers either.

Here’s the thing I think a few people are disappointed that their headcanon doesn’t match the Kougami in canon anymore (which I am sure is sad).But spreading misinformation to make people see Kougami the negative way is turning other people off.My advise is take everything people say with a grain of salt.Some people are helbent on spreading negativity because things didn’t go the way they wanted.

if you are up for it buy the books and run them through a translation or pay a translator to translate.Make up your own mind.

Hi,

Since I haven't read the novels about S3 because I don't speak Japanese, I can't answer to any of those points. Not since @cleverwolfpoetry used to translate the novels, do I know anything of the novels. The only think I know is that the writers said shinkane is platonic and what I got from Providence and Sinners of the System. Other people have read the novels and give their opinion about them. Maybe they're spreading misinformation; I have no idea. But you're right, a grain of salt doesn't hurt.

I don't know if there's a current hate campaign against Kogami (there's always been, though. I remember people crapping on him when he told Akane to kill Makishima), but people are going to hate who they're going to hate. One thing I'll never do is ship Homura and Akane. Or Kogami and Frederica. For me it'll always be Akane and Kogami and I don't care what the writers say. Cleverwolf's translations gave me enough material to deduce that this attempt to bring down shinkane (or to take it out of its ambiguity) is part of the "remodeling" of Psycho-Pass from a philosophical and psychological anime to a more action and plot driven franchise for a different target audience.

Heck, it's all in Makishima's last monologue: "Everyone is alone. Everyone is empty. People no longer have need of others. You can always find a spare for any replacement. Any relationship can be replaced."

Psycho-Pass is about the most human of things: relationships. (And yes, human nature, violence, free will, rationality vs animality, etc). So the writers can say whatever the hell they want, but Akane is not replaceable for Kogami and neither is Kogami for her (remember the All Star novel where holos of all the dead people are tormenting Akane and telling her Ko is dead and she's like "No, that person can't be dead"? I love how Sibyl, Kamui and Togane know Akane is deeply in love with Kogami and they try to use that against her all the time.

At the end of the day, despite the castes the system creates, the human bond will break those chains. The purest-hued young woman falling for a heartbroken criminal is just too delicious a dynamic to ignore.

Also, where the heck are all of you reading the novels? Is anyone sharing the translations somewhere?

#psycho-pass #akane tsunemori #psycho pass #kogami shinya #sinners of the system #shinkane #psycho-pass 3 #psycho pass providence #tsunemori akane #first inspector

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jamieedlund · 2 years

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I absolutely love the au you have built! I just recently got into this fandom and I loved seeing this!

Just wanted to ask some questions:

1. Have you ever thought of writing a fic for this au??

2. What would the other characters reactions be to finding out callum freed aaravos and even ran away with him? I really wanna know rayla and his brother's reactions maybe even the other elves reactions to his actions.

3. I genuinely want to know your thoughts on canon callum, his writing, his story, his actions, his lore, his magic?

4. Do you think there's ever a chance of seeing any part of your au in canon? Specially with the new season.

5. What are your thoughts on rayllum? Would their canon relationship have any affects in your au?

6. Would callum and aaravos remain fugitives in the future of your au or will that change?

7. Do you think there's a character that would for whatever reason join callum and aaravos?

8. Is there anyone who would secretly be happy for callum and aavravos? Or even secretly support them maybe even help them and tell them about whats going on?

9. When, and why did you create this au?

10. Will we get more backstory and lore for your au in the future?

11. Since callum is human he would eventually die right? What would aaravos do then?

12. What are your thoughts on the theory that callum is a half elf? Or even aaravos son?

13. What is your favorite tdp theory regarding these two?

14. If you could have rewritten s3 or even the whole show what would you have changed?

Sorry about asking so many questions!! I just really wanna know your thoughts on these 😭

⚠(WARNING!!! READING. AN UNGODLY AMOUNT OF READING)⚠ Hello hello~ Welcome to (what is essentially hell for me) BUT OTHERWISE PROBABLY A GOOD TIME FOR YOU maybe hopefully ヾ(•ω•`)o

First of all, thank you so much, I’m super glad that you found my chaotic somewhat ugly doodles to your liking! Laughs in i also enjoy genshin quite a lot and I really like childe as well!

ALRIGHT ON TO THE QUESTIONS SO BUCKLE UP, BUDDY! Because I’m about to do something that only a few people would ever get through - R A N T i MEAN ansWERINg questions. Please, and this is very important, take my answers with a grain…no…A GIGANTIC OCEAN WORTH OF SALT. I’m but a commoner who loves Callum and Aaravos a little bit too much. Also due to the nature of tumblr ask limiting me to only 10-30 images(?)…in this arguably somewhat of an argumentative essay…So um SORRY for the lack of illustrations and that I tried my best to answer as clearly as I could. With that being said…Bust out the popcorn and enjoy!🍿🍿🍿

1. Have you ever thought of writing a fic for this au??

I’m not the biggest fan of writing or reading for that matters (hahah which is ironic because I have to somewhat write a script for this) BUT! I did have all of the outlines of the plot planned out. I’m only good at writing dynamics - aka relationships between people. I still need the canon explanation on a lot of things because there is no way in hell I’ll get the magic system right UNLESS THEY SHOW IT TO ME JESUS FRICKIN CHRIST-

So yea, no written fanfic but there is an existing script, several comic drafts with some missing lore that I hope the show will reveal~ I dub their story ‘Masters of the Primals’ and here’s a sketch of one of the covers~

I hope you like it. I think they’re very cute together…

Oh I’ve actually written a draft abt this so I can either dump all the ugly sketches in your face— or tell you about it… Let’s do both because only the most obscure of my followers have the patience for my shenanigoogles anyways.

So! Due to the fact that we saw the mirror is now placed in a regular room within the castle (in ss4 trailer) chances are the whole situation you’re looking at here

probably took place within the walls of A REGULAR ROOM OF THE CASTLE. Therefore if Aaravos’s return did trigger some sort of ancient alarm and the place was swarmed, Ezran and Soren would be the first to know of this incident. The way I see it… it was shown in ss4 that Callum has been brooding and upset for 2 years ever since Rayla left. So in the brief moments that Ezran got to see his brother with Aaravos, Callum was smiling and genuinely being the happiest that he has ever seen for the first time IN FOREVER (when he tried to introduce Aaravos to Ezran and explained himself with whatever the truth relating to this man is) was enough proof for him.

Ezran would probably be the first, and quickest to trust in Callum’s heart. I think he would definitely yell at his brother to get his ass out of the kingdom and pursue his own happiness and that he will see him later (maybe when Aaravos told Callum to stay with Ezran, nudged him forward but instead Callum hugged his brother goodbye, then grabbed the man’s hand and and booked it before all hell break lose)

Soren’s reaction might be the most fun and one that I’ve also written a script for. He would at first, definitely be on the elves side because well…Aaravos is evil and dangerous is all that he’s told. So he might have been neutralized either frozen in place or sent flying when Aaravos impulsively protected Callum from being harm. Later him and Rayla would definitely try to hunt Callum down believing that Aaravos somehow - brainwashed or manipulated Callum into running off and doing evil with him (which there is no proof of btw they’re REALLY JUST ASSUMING that they’re doing bad things because of Aaravos’s history lol.) Callum will always opt to tell the truth, what he did know about Aaravos, how he manipulated Viren and how he was the caterpillar bug thingy that Soren saw before. This, of course, would reasonably anger Soren. As for Rayla, well she has all the reasons to destroy Aaravos because that’s all she’s told about him, and considering she now know he did played a role in the previous war via what the elves had told her...it’s not like she would think otherwise.

So they fight.

I dub this the ‘Callum kicking literally everybody’s ass’ - The Arc.

Aaravos would help but I think my boy got it cover. Callum on the other hand…he’s just so done with hearing the same thing over and over: Aaravos is evil; he’ll devour your soul; he’s going to take over the worlddd. Which to him sounded a bit much considering all they have been doing ever since running away was LITERALLY FIXING THE ELVES AND DRAGON’S PROBLEMS like fighting op bandits, quieting the cold wars that probably exist somewhere in Xadia, helping to restore the magic back to the dying lands, etc ALL OF THIS WHILST BEING HUNTED DOWN BY THE SYSTEM ITSELF BECAUSE ??? AARAVOS IS EVIL HE’S A CRIMINAL HE MUST BE STOPPED etc etc. Note that it might have been months when Rayla and Soren finally caught up to these two, which gave Callum plenty of time to learn combat tactics and creative ways to use his power with both his and Aaravos’s massive brains combined.

So in short, Callum is just done. He’s done perpetuating the broken system. A system, which by the way, if you remember, condemned Rayla’s parents thinking they ran away WHEN THEY HAD THE TOOL TO FIND OUT IF THAT WAS TRUE OR NOT BY USING THE SAME SPELL CALLUM DID AT THE STORM SPIRE A system that believed Amaya deserved death without giving her a chance to trial because — war and discrimination??? (Janai had to begged for her life and even then she’s still treated by the ruling class as a “pet”) A system that sent assassins to murder knowing that it will PROBABLY perpetuate the cycle of violence, with the person who ATTEMPTED THIS ACT aka the dragon queen btw don’t forget this, literally sent Callum and Ez’s dad to his grave, took a nap and woke up acting like this was what she wanted ALL ALONG (face palming so hard at the writing for this) AND FINALLY, a system where, from the start, knowingly half-heartedly helped human via the act of the unicorns giving the human primal stones itself (check the wiki for this I’m sure this is canon somehow) is a cruel joke disguises as an act of kindness, in my opinion anyway. I can say one thing for certain, if there is no need for dark magic, it wouldn’t have existed. No one would need it because well—they can already do primal magic. SO SOMETHING along the line of HOW primal magic was used and WHO used the primal magic AND WHAT was it used for, must have not been LIFE-SAVING due to the fact that the human poems recalled their town being attacked by dragons and the ancient dark mage recall tales of famine and plagues. A system that has been looking down on humanity since the dawn of their existence.

But this isn’t to say the humans didn’t do anything wrong either, as the show constantly trying to shove the fact that human mages and dark magic = bad at our faces lols. However…I wanna talk about something else... King Harrow’s bad kingdom management choices. It wasn’t dark magic that’s at fault. IT WAS HARROW(not entirely but for the main conflict of the show it's definitely his fault) — which i will dissect more in the later answer about Callum. But for now all I will say this: DARK MAGIC ISN’T THE BAD GUY HERE. Callum woke up to the truth when he met Aaravos and realized that he can’t choose between two ambiguously terrible systems…so he decided to leave them both! He recognizes that there are countless of people who still rely and are living some what happy and peaceful lives within these systems, therefore him and Aaravos running away to just be themselves, to live their own lives, to be happy was the best course of action to take.

I think that the comic draft about their fights sorta already explained how the other elves and dragons see this scandalous(lol) event : Aaravos scheming something terrible with the human mage. Some of them probably think Callum got manipulated or brainwashed, others immediately condemned him because PREJUDICE~ Human’s always gotta be human~ and what not. That’s all I can say regarding to this aspect of the story. Bonus content, how Aaravos feels about his student’s friends comic draft:

3. I genuinely want to know your thoughts on canon callum, his writing, his story, his actions, his lore, his magic?

oH BOY, here is the part where I warned you about. Take whatever I’m about to say with a massive amount of salt. I’ve had people asking this and then unfollowed me for my very infuriating take on him.

I genuinely, sincerely , without a shadow of a doubt, believe that the writers do not love him as a character. Let me give you all the evidence to why (spare my soul I TRIED to sit through all of the seasons to list out moment that he is on screen which included time stamps, episode number and the season I cited along with my thoughts on each of them… God knows if I miss anything because I just can’t stand the way they write him)

(click here if you wanna read all of them because I refuse to put any of you through this kind of hell, if your browser warns you about opening it just open it anyways I swear I'm not out here to steal your info lol)

If you came back from the link and still disagree with me then, idk what else to tell you. This will fall on your deaf ears I suppose… But if you understand, with or without reading my notes, I hope it’s been clear to you how he is the prime example of a wasted main character FROM THE START. He’s under written at worst… semi-mediocre at best. You will surely get it when I say he’s only written….purely to save Rayla, to make her character looks good and or other characters around him look good. His role in the story, is arguably, even more important than “the dragon prince” himself because CALLUM IS THE SOLUTION, THE ANSWER TO THE MAIN CONFLICT OF THE SHOW: M A G I C(the conflict between primal and dark magic ; or human vs magical creatures. Depends on how you look at it.)

And yet… a massive disservice was done to him. It makes no sense from both the lore and the importance of the story stand point that they would treat his character like this. I love him, I love who he has and surely still has the potential to be. I think I made this very clear in the examples that I’ve given but I’ll spell it out again here (given that maybe I’ve probably completely spiraled into insanity while watching the show again purely for that purpose…)

ABOUT HIS WRITINGS, STORY, ACTION AND LORE:

As someone whose mother was lost because of his own father’s bad choice as a ruler(and I’d argue that he understood this very well that it wasn’t dark magic. IT’S HIS STEP DAD) he could and would have become someone who’s sensitive to the truth. That dark magic is JUST, A, TOOL. A very dangerous, powerful one but A TOOL, NONETHELESS. It’s something someone willingly choose. It is a contract. You lose a bit of yourself in exchange for your desire. It was Harrow’s choice to help the neighbor when his kingdom barely had enough to get by. It was again his choice, not Viren’s, not dark magic’s “temptation”, HIS CHOICE to kill the titan. It was HIS choice that led to Sarai’s death. Then it WAS AGAIN, his choice to kill the dragon king. From Callum’s perspective, he should have seen it this way a long time ago. But the thing that was wasted about this, was even when he knew all of this, he still made an effort to love Harrow, because his love for his mother is greater than his hatred for Harrow’s mistakes. UNTIL WHATEVER TRANSPIRED IN EPISODE 1-3 in season one. He would have stood up to his father with vigor when this man again decided to be selfish AGAIN, wanting to die instead of staying alive at all cost for his very young son, and then would still risked his life fighting and protect him rather than running away because that’s just the type of person CALLUM IS. Not whatever the hell that went down in the show… I will fight for this version of him till the day I die. Make his flaw recklessness instead of cowardice. Make him love everyone as best as he can, not just his romantic interest. That is what I see in Callum, and sadly not what I’ve gotten.

ABOUT HIS POWER The bit about him getting his magic was anti climatic and pisses me off to no end because of the execution (again this was in the link, see my notes on season 2) I won’t say more here but here’s the summary: The one Callum condemned should have been the image of his step father due to all the bad choices that he’s made, and then swiftly turn his back on the thing that saves him his pride (the fact that the show and Harrow refused to acknowledge that dark magic really did saved thousands of lives when he couldn’t); knowingly shackling his very young son Ezran to the throne which he DELIBERATELY SAID before hand: a child is freer than a king. Yea, real good of ya Harrow. Towards the dark mage version of himself, he should have been more gentle, understanding and kind. He wouldn’t make the same mistake as Harrow by completely becoming ungrateful to it. He would bargain for his soul, vowing that he will be a little kinder to himself and hope that it can give him a chance. He couldn’t go on living if he’s not himself anymore. This would have made the story infinitely more interesting because the show HAD THE CHANCE TO SHOW US THAT DARK MAGIC CAN BE FORGIVING(and in canon it…kinda is??? Because Callum was able to just noped out of getting corrupted so forgiving is in its nature…SO WHY IS IT BEING RIDICULE WHEN IT LITERALLY HELPED HIM SAVED HIS FRIEND’S LIFE BRUH) with the dark Callum slowly closes his eyes and fade away as Callum hugged him; dropping the key that was all dark magic runes into the abyss. THAT. is how you reject something like dark magic. THAT is how you are worthy of being the FIRST EVER HUMAN TO CHANEL THE PRIMAL - because YOU UNDERSTOOD THE TRUE NATURE OF DARK MAGIC: that it’s not EVIL. Not all the preachy prejudicial crap that transpired in that episode… It didn’t feel earned and it didn’t feel natural. To his character and to the story and I want to cry.

4. Do you think there's ever a chance of seeing any part of your au in canon? Specially with the new season.

I doubt it aha. With what they did to Callum and what I’ve seen so far with the new season derailing his character into “angst” instead of … letting him embrace his non-traditional masculinity and going all in on the “moe” aspect of his character…BUT THEY DIDN’T! SO it might just go down a typical angsty good vs evil generic writing… I’ve said this before but if they made my plot a reality I would literally eat dirt 🤣 and not just “oh Aaravos is using Callum so he took him as a student” no no no~ I mean e x a c t l y how it transpired in my writings. THEN I’ll eat dirt :)))

5. What are your thoughts on rayllum? Would their canon relationship have any affects in your au?

One of the other aspect I want people to take with another mountain of salt. I’ll answer in the shortest way possible though because it will take another essay for me to get through my thoughts. I’ll give you one word: Chemistry. I didn’t feel any chemistry between them from the moment they met till the moment they became a couple. (A friendly reminder that season 1-3 took place in only a month or a month and a half…maybe two months if you count the official comic. So their “romance” formed a little after …. two…weeks… yep I checked… and “fell apart” after like a month and a half…) Chemistry, is what you feel instantly. You can’t…make it happen, it just…happens. I think Aaravos said it best in the comic draft below: “If you had to force love, it’s probably shit.” 🙂 There is this innate compatibility within the characters themselves that makes their interaction explosive with emotions…and these two…has non... They are, in some ways sorta…good friends…? but take their first interaction for example! The first nice thing Callum expressed towards Rayla without fear was: YOU SWEPT THE LEG! She doesn’t understand this sentiment, her reaction wasn’t amused, it was this angry, somewhat confused look. Later on when he’s happy finding out that he’s a mage, she’s just annoyed, not finding this bubbly carefree somewhat loud personality charming. I get that this is when they first met and there is still barriers here and there… but like I said, it’s about the chemistry ; something that’s supposed to happen instantaneously. There are countless more times like this… when there is a chance for some sort of reaction to happen; but it just… did not? Then it did a 180 in ss3 for…the sake of shipping…huh..??? So to me at least, their chemistry has already failed.

For how this affects my own writings, take a look at these drafts:

In a valentine comic draft that I had right here (Callum is taking a look at some magical candied roses being sold at the market on the day of love)

Callum: head empty, only master. Didn’t even think twice about anything else🤣

and this lunar new year draft right here (they’re waiting for the fireworks to start)

You can’t tell me this isn’t good advice, also I stole this from “how I met your mother” the chemistry and timing talk.

Or refer to the previous draft in question 2 when Aaravos talked about Rayla

You can clearly see that Aaravos ACKNOWLEDGED his student’s relationship, whilst Callum seems somewhat dismissive of it. I do it this way because:

like it or not…that is still what happened in the canon;

Maybe a good thing because if Callum had decided to run away with Aaravos, a labeled WAR CRIMINAL, changing his perspective on what he believed in either about life or relationship, shouldn’t be a far fetch development either. I wrote about it in detail via this post. I think that he would slowly learn that he is super happy without the involvement of a romantic partner, thus he’s able to be more understanding to Rayla’s leaving him. Or maybe it’s Aaravos who helped him understand why she left and even be the reason for why he’s so emotionally stable and matured.

IN SHORT: Callum doesn’t think about or even wants to think about his romantic life when he’s with Aaravos. His reply whenever his master mentions Rayla (which doesn’t really come up that often) would always be: “I’ll deal with it when it comes to it!” My man Aaravos on the other hand… he’s literally just vibing. Touching grass, doing magic, getting mentally healthier and being happy. He’s still the biggest bastard that Callum has ever known though, so that won’t change any time soon 🙂

6. Would callum and aaravos remain fugitives in the future of your au or will that change?

No spoilers~ They might be still “considered” fugitives is all I’m saying! I hope you will get to see the result for yourself!

7. Do you think there's a character that would for whatever reason join callum and aaravos?

At one point…I felt like Claudia would? Mainly because I wrote a whole arc for Callum v Claudia which the focus would be Aaravos past mistakes (or “mistakes”, represented by whatever Claudia became) vs his aspiration (his present, his hope, his student - Callum) But then even if Callum successfully repelled the corruption out of Claudia, they would probably just leave her with Ezran or Amaya because these two are incredibly selfish when it comes to their bond. They’re too used to being alone together and they would rather keep it that way. WHICH IS UNDERSTANDABLE considering how literally everyone just wants to hunt them down.

Mayyybe with the exception being Zym??? Since Ez can’t leave the throne to go with Callum, Zym decided to accompanied them to sorta like being his eyes cough and keep tabs on Aaravos. That it’d make an interesting plot line. Plus it’s the most powerful elven mage, the first and probably most powerful human mage, and the most powerful dragon in the world… What a scary trio. Also…Aaravos big feeling times with Zym and Callum just trying to hold it together in the background is subjectively, a very fun and good story. Forgiveness, innocence, prejudice, love, redemption. All in one package.

8. Is there anyone who would secretly be happy for callum and aavravos? Or even secretly support them maybe even help them and tell them about whats going on?

Ezran. 100% Ezran. It’s …it’s Ezran… He took one look at his brother and went: yep yea you are CLEARLY HAPPIER WITH HIM BRO, GO FOR IT. RUN! BE FREE!

Amaya and Janai (mostly Amaya) Also um I wrote a fun plot line that Amaya and Janai pursued them thinking that Aaravos kidnapped Callum, caught them just chilling in a tavern and Aaravos proceeded to defeat a very angry Janai with a big spoon (or what people commonly call a ladle…curtesy of Callum panicking and tossing it to him…The man just went with it and WON lol) Meanwhile Callum successfully bested Amaya without hurting her thus convincing her that his master is indeed, helping him grow as a person. Amaya also witness them just being happy and caring for each other after battling them so she sorta understood. Janai … is still pissed at Aaravos of course but considering who he slayed um . . . I’m giving this one to Aaravos… — I guess they became sort of an ally??? Janai just begrudgingly became neutral but tbh these two are really trying to be the best aunties to Callum. After a bit of fighting, they would probably be on their side. They might meet up sometimes to exchange information and what not. Aaravos refuses to meet Janai again because he doesn’t have the patience to deal with her anger like the bastard that he is. But he does agree that she has every right to feel that way about him. He’s just not down to deal with it all over again. He might do this tho:

Please wonderstorm let them make a deeznuts joke i stg it's gonna be iconic.

S O R E N After getting his butt kicked twice by Aaravos (in the castle) and Callum (when he finally caught up with them) The next time they bump into each other, Soren would try and have a talk with Callum. I think the things he were angry the most about again was: it's exactly because his dad was a terrible person that Aaravos made him worse, while Callum’s aspiration is simply to be free with his master. At the end of the day, Aaravos is more of an enabler than anything good or bad. There is this whole jealousy within Soren that “why couldn’t you pointed my father to the right path” and “I know it’s not your fault but I’m still very upset that you’re such an enabler” towards Aaravos and also to Callum who in his eyes, he saw lucked out when it comes to receiving guidance from older figures. He would still apologize to them for feeling that way though when THIS glorious resolution kick in:

Justice for Soren's apology being received in the worst way possible in ss3

That wise man being Aaravos, of course :)) He is a good teacher when it matters. Needless to say after all of this this, Soren is 100% on his side. Even in non canon, my boy Soren still had a very good character arc. Some other allies might includes the people they helped on the way either in the earthblood elves domain or the tidebound elves place, possibly even Neolandia of all places. There was a side plot I wrote that Kasef was alive and that Callum helped him regain his humanity then sent him back to his kingdom to reunite with his dad. But I might scrap it if they declare that Kasef is really dead (rip Kasef you had potential my man. I understood you).

9. When, and why did you create this au?

I had this thought at the back of my mind while crawling my way through season 2 in 2018…2019?? (don’t get me wrong…but to me the show’s writing is so…horrendous…However… I got nothing better to watch so…might…as…well) and that thought being: What if…Aaravos…and Callum just…run away from this terrible plot… And then I proceeded smiling to myself thinking about all the fun things I could have done with their characters. That kinda saved my sanity and kept me powered through the entire show somehow. I didn’t executed it until last year(2021) though… I think I have the worst case of “I don’t like the canon and the fandom is a bit too much so I will forget about this until no further notice.”

10. Will we get more backstory and lore for your au in the future?

I think this post already contains the most of the lore(or spoilers for the lore) that I haven’t released out into the wild yet. But most definitely! I will continue making art about these two as long as the canon doesn’t do anything that will collapse the potential of them being amazing together. I’m a huge believer in not supporting content that doesn’t make me happy… so until then! More stories are sure to come ♥

11. Since callum is human he would eventually die right? What would aaravos do then?

Haha this is more of a spoiler for my plot so I’m leaving you with this : I’m sure at one point Callum realizes that he IS going to have to leave Aaravos one day, whether he likes it or not. This then resulting in him visiting any nearby library wherever it is that they are currently in when he has the time. Using “wanted to learn new things” as a cover up, what he’s really after is a way to either prolong his life (in a safe and legal way) so that he can be together with Aaravos for as long as he could; or to cut Aaravos life span down because to no one’s surprise, out-living everyone around him has indeed took a big toll on Aaravos mental health. Think of it sorta like his side quest~ He doesn’t want to ask his master about it because… Callum knows Aaravos wanted him to live a normal, happy natural human life, what are the chances that he will give him an answer. Aaravos is so used to loss and war and people around him dying, so he had already accepted this ever since he decided to become Callum’s master.

The real question is… do you really think Callum can give up on his master that easily? 😊 and cough* yknow do you think Aaravos truly wants to give up Callum like this lol

12. What are your thoughts on the theory that callum is a half elf? Or even aaravos son?

According to a friend of mine, the writers had already dismissed the theory that Callum is Aaravos’ son. However…they didn’t say anything about them NOT being related… and I pray to god that they’re not because

Callum being part elf GREATLY UNDERMINES his own character arc, and over all is a very bad writing decision(not that it was good in the first place aaaa) With all the things I said in the bit for how I feel about Callum, making him be “born” special is a disgrace to the one thing that stood out about him: being the first human to have ever connected to the primals (albeit executed sorta poorly…) I strongly feel that Callum should have the agency to, at least, represent the fact that he earns his power for who he is as a person and not for his heritage. I see some might say well yea doesn’t matter if he’s a half or quarter or has elven blood in him, it’s who he is as a person — well to that I say why not just make him a regular human being from the start to REALLY hammer down the point? “Well that’s world-breaking cause it’s the rule that human can’t do magic” I hear some of you saying— There is already a plausible explanation right there.

It was Aaravos’s key that guided him through the darkness, provided that Callum has proven himself to be capable of understanding things for what they really are (which I have spoken of before…and not in anyway shape or form like what the canon made him said in that scene lol). No need to add something to make it feel like it’s not breaking the law (like yeaaa ofc he can do it he has elven blood aha)…because…it…wasn’t…breaking the law in the first place… *Laughs in Aaravos is the law* 2. Aaravos should keep his penis to himself that’s all I’m saying hahaha no okay. In all seriousness… I don’t think Aaravos should be romantically or sexually involved. I think it’s great to not shackle a character to the idea that only romantic and or sexual love will make them more interesting, likeable, relatable or …human? Because the truth is…I love not being able to put Aaravos in a box, whether it’s his sexuality or moral standard. I think he deserves to keep that alluring part of his character for himself. It would be more precious if his perception of “love” as “being worship and remembered” has never been challenged until he met Callum. The change from worshipping love to just simple yet somewhat multi-layers platonic love is the best thing I would argue they should give him. No more clichés “villain” upset because of romantic love and romantic love is all there is. Make him unique! Make him special! I also think as someone who frowns upon forced control, I’d rather think he views his affection (if he ever developed one) as some sort of imprisonment to the people around him due to him almost always out living them. He’d rather not lay something that personal, even if its for the sake of manipulation, on the table. I think this weirdly humanize him since it might also be a type of selfishness that’s unique to him. “I’m selfish. My feelings are my own, that’s just how I like it.” something along that line.

I think it’s infinitely more precious that they’re not related because it really highlights that love isn’t necessarily fraternal nor romantic to be just as amazing and heart warming. Love can just. Exist.

13. What is your favorite tdp theory regarding these two?

I… like them being master and student and that’s it hahah!!! I have been told that some people had already thought of this as well…but by then I hadn’t really seen it being noticed by the majority of the fandom. I worry about sounding arrogant or condescending sometimes but … it’s because I haven’t seen it being written in a way that gave me joy that I’m resulted to making my own food… HAHAH I’M SORRY I HOPE THAT MAKE SENSE? AGAIN I’M VERY WORRIED ABOUT SOUNDING LIKE AN ASSHOLE lol my favorite is what I wrote ashiadkljfdskl

14. If you could have rewritten s3 or even the whole show what would you have changed?

I haven’t thought of it this way at all because I think the problems has already taken roots from the first season…(evidentially enough I’ve pointed it out in a massive word vomit relating to my boy Callum’s writing alone) I like to leave the canon material alone, as I know a lot of people really really enjoyed it. I unfortunately… did not…AND THAT’S OKAY!

At the end of the day, it’s still just a kid show… But I’d like to think that if we keep accepting mediocrity, we will never truly get anything good. I think this show has the potential to be something so much more, most of my anger (and maybe hatred) comes from the fact that I do genuinely love the world building and I do love Callum and Aaravos… I hope I’ve somehow managed to convey that to you <3

To end this on a somewhat light-hearted note, I would like to leave you and anyone who has made it this far, a canon fact: Did you know that on the key of Aaravos, the sky primal and the star primal are on the opposite side of each other? I see this as they’re always keeping each other in balance and that makes me happy~

Sorry for any grammar mistakes I've made I'm sure there are tons of them.

#about them #ask jamie #tdp #really #long post #aaravos #callum #the dragon prince #i hope some of you made it through #sincerely #i love you all #but this took life years outta me to make #thanks for reading #very tempted to tag this with deez nuts joke #good bye

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tleeaves · 5 months

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back again with homeopathy, first off super glad you're able to empower yourself and find what can be helpful to you! unfortunately right now i've been reminded of something and it's pissing me off so if you're not feeling up to a trauma dump please stop reading here!

basically i just have memories of feeling helpless and not enough and being told 'oh take this' when i really didn't have the spoons to be thinking about my body and if i bruised myself playing sport or had a scratchy throat or whatever and it's just. i've tried. for my birds, for whatever actually matters to me, but sometimes it's just a huge fucking mystery with adults in my life throwing random compounds at whatever and no one teaching it to me in bite sized ways or allowing me to mess up with it even though they did?? and i can't keep going through this with my guinea fowls, i need to find some way to either reclaim it or just leave it the fuck alone i swear it's like a cult and some people (including professionals in the field) get defensive if you ever mention something like antibiotics, i'm a fan of doing whatever works and it's generally going to involve a mix of ideas from different sources

so i can't really leave it the fuck alone and still value indigenous wisdom and still be connected to what's left of my asian roots but i can't be part of this toxic system (which i always forget exists til something outright reminds me of it) full of paranoia and inventing things to feel like were wrong with me as a kid even though i was so healthy then and i am now (and i'm learning to be grateful for it). anyway idk if you find this interesting, i feel like me with this is a bit like you with religion. but you see how some people used something good with amazing potential (holistic healing) to just cause so much hurt and i'm ready. to figure out better. but it has to be baby steps, even just reading books is gonna trigger me so like. i'm at a weird crossroads where i think the path forward is gonna involve a whole lot more gentleness than I've ever seen but perhaps is at the core of any kind of healing with nature and its substances yknow

Sorry that it's taken me so long to answer. What I have might be brief because it's on my phone rather than my laptop (taking a bit of a writing holiday this Christmas), but I think I know what you mean. It's as you said, like me with religion, seeing the cult-like behaviour of some individuals, not really being made to feel welcome in a space, and not having it feel for me the way it does for others.

Homoeopathy and holistic healing I tend to take with a grain of salt. I know of folks personally who refuse a lot of other medical practices and things like antibiotics, preferring everything to be natural. I can understand even that drive, though it's not for me (if I rejected a lot of modern medicine and healthcare, I wouldn't be here to answer your ask right now). If anything, I see herbalism and the ways the knowledge can be used for one's health as supplemental. It's an extra if you need to bolster your health, if your immunity is low, if you have some bodily problem or discomfort that plain old painkillers can't always quite fix. Sometimes it's just a thing I think speeds the recovery process. But it would not be my first nor only answer to everything. And that's where I think you might be coming from. Because there are folks who believe so firmly in it that it's their only answer, but that makes teaching it also difficult.

And then from there, I fully understand that its difficult for you to learn or get into something that has been a source of frustration for so long. I just hope that one day you find your peace with it, in whatever form that comes 💛

#I did herbalism research for a few months #so remember I am no expert on. like. anything.#but I hope my answer is something of a comfort or affirmation #(maybe just a reminder)#take care lovely!

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paperstarzz · 7 months

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West End vs Broadway CATCF Ultimate Showdown

I’m gonna pit the two musicals together and see who comes out on top

Almost Nearly Perfect vs Willy Wonka! Willy Wonka!

I like both of these songs and think they are both good at exposition dumping although they are on two different subjects. I think I’m going to go with Willy Wonka! Willy Wonka! Because I like the way it sets up Charlie to be a bit more than what he’s usually shown to be.

A Letter from Charlie Bucket

Very similar song between both versions. I think I have to go Broadway again even though he has two lines for his mother because his father was cut, but I still like it better.

More of Him to Love

For the third in a row I’m going Broadway but don’t expect the streak to last. There’s just something I like about this Augustus better than in the West End version.

When Veruca Says

West end, of course. There’s just something so British about Veruca Salt and I love this song.

The Double Bubble Duchess vs The Queen of Pop

I have affectionately nicknamed The Double Bubble Duchess the “autism song”. It took awhile to grow on me but I like it a lot better than Queen of Pop.

It’s Teavee Time! vs What could Possibly go Wrong?

What do you think the answer is? The British didn’t have the balls to write What Could Possibly go Wrong, their loss. 10/10

If Your Father Were Here vs If your Mother Were Here

If Your Mother Were Here is just, slightly better even though the song makes less sense than it does in the broadway version.

Doncha Pinch me Charlie vs I’ve got a Golden Ticket

Don’t have a strong opinion on either, both are good.

It Must be Believed to be Seen

Ah, the villain song. I gotta go West End on this one, I love it.

Strike that, Reverse it

Going West End again, I love the way Hodge interacts with the children.

Simply Second Nature vs Pure Imagination*

Going Pure Imagination here, it where it’s supposed to be and it’s just better than Simply Second Nature.

Auf Wiedersehen Augustus Gloop

Virtually the same, no opinion. Both are good.

Juicy! vs When Willy met Oompa

I don’t like either but I have to default the point to Juicy because it’s actually about Violet??

Verucas Nutcracker Suite

‘Nother point for Broadway here, it’s more thematic. Also absolutely metal, tearing a child limb from limb on live stage.

Vidiots

Hodge is iconic, again point to West End.

Pure Imagination vs The View from Here

Don’t particularly care, but I’m going to go The View From Here.

Surprisingly Broadway wins, although the West End soundtrack is longer and has songs I like but nothing to compare to. Until I tallied it up I was actually under the impression that I liked the West end one better, so this was a nice surprise.

What do you guys think?

#catcf west end #catcf broadway #catcf musical

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dearweirdme · 1 year

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Hello there again! It's me again. I know you're bombarded with asks right now, and I feel sorry for ranting to you. You don't need to reply to me. I would totally understand. Strangers dumping their own emotional baggage to you can be emotionally inordinate. I admire your patience. Please bear with me a little longer. You don't need to read nor respond to this. Please don't ever feel obligated.

I will just share something to you today. I saw Tae's photos from the Celine party and Naomi's birthday. Not one in those photos did we see him smile genuinely. Do you think the issue took a toll on him? I feel like something's really off with all this. We still don't have the answer now, and we may not get the answer in the future. Not to judge him based on the photos shared, but he looked bothered or something. He even looked skinnier to me. I was debating with myself whether it was just due to his hair or make-up, but really, his face looked thinner.

Also, the media is acting kinda sus. Suddenly, they've been writing captions including Jennie. Vogue even mistook Lisa for Jennie. What the hell is going on? Could the PR theories be correct? This feels like a kdrama right now. I can't wait to see how this story unfolds.

I'm so happy to see Tae, though. I just really hope he's doing okay. I want him to go back to Korea now and be with Jungkook and Yeontan. I want him to stay away and take a rest for as long as he needs. This is all a mess and he's about to do his solo work soon. Ugh!

I hope you're doing okay, too. Thank you for being my emotional sounding board. Have a nice day!

Hi anon!

I am indeed being bombarded with asks. Aside from that, my live is being very lively at the moment. Work, kid, weddings, etc... are kicking my ass a bit. Yesterday I started feeling guilty for not being able to answer everyones asks as quickly as i'd like, but after sleeping on it I feel... this is my blog, I can deal with it as suits me best... so any anons still waiting... have a bit of patience with me :).

Tae's pic's did not concern me at all. I feel it's just his serious-model-Tae-face. Those pics were taking for marketing-purposes only, I'm sure Tae enjoyed the event inbetween taking some promotional shots. Park Bogum is with him, that to me is a good thing.

Media are always sus. We've long past the times when journalists actually went out to gather information. In this time of pr-teams and socialmedia, 'journalists' have become textwriters who base their articles on company-issued statements, social-media trends, and a bit of online research. So I always take those things with a grain of salt, and with my knowledge of how media works in mind (I myself work in marketing, and have a background in journalism).

Seeing how things play out in media right now, to me this absolutely falls in the pr-categorie. I would stil have fallen in that categorie if I thought Taennie was real.

There are rumors of Jk leavinf SK soon, either to Europe or US I believe, but it's all stuff I've read somewhere else. So could be that we won't see them together for a while still. They are both working hard though, and have had a lot of time together the last few months. This is their time to work hard.

Enjoy your day!

#anon #taekook #i'm slowly working through my asks people #bear with me #not really sure why all of a sudden I'm getting so much?#more people think it might be pr?

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abyssalzones · 1 year

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🍕🍀🎹 FOR ANYONE (everyone) IN EV YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT!!!!! id love to hear abt them all but do so only if youre in an infodumping mood don't force yerself <:)

Yasha you of all people should know that I am Always in an info-dumping mood. VERY LONG POST UNDER THE READ MORE

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

ROSE CUBBAGE: I'm fairly certain I've answered this before (feel free to dig through my OC tag to find a series of other asks that I went into depth with a little while ago) but I think Rose would love any type of food that is a sweet/savory combination. Foliaverds don't have strong "sweet" flavor receptors, being hyper-carnivorous, but the sugars you'd see in fruit do get across to their palette more or less. See this dialogue from the outline of a chapter:

DOMINO: Domino is extremely picky about her food, something unusual for her species- who are usually content as filter-feeders, snacking on whatever bacteria and small animals (or even bits of dead animals- they aren't picky) make themselves at home in the caverns of Yxin, either colonizing the rocks or floating aimlessly through the densely-chemically-populated air- but she has an odd taste for salts. Odd, because that stuff is considered pretty acidic and foul to most moeboids. Keep an eye on her or else you'll lose track of your table salt.

VENUS: As with most Ikarians, Venus's diet consists mainly of insects. However, he normally has a very subdued appetite due to... multiple things. Their samefoods mostly consist of cold (or just not hot) things that don't have a very strong smell: frozen crickets, protein chips, dried fruit, and (expensively) tenjarian-tempered yogurt that's supposed to be digestible for every species, but most think it tastes... awful. Venus loves it, for some reason.

GILLS KVN: Herbal tea and pain pills. Well- that'd be the answer early on, anyway. He starts eating more regularly with time and feeling a little more comfortable actually getting out of his lab to visit the kitchen, and as per usual for his species, mostly favors raw seafood. He prefers animals with shells, though, since overly-mushy textures bother him immensely. As for his favorite favorite, I think he'd enjoy a bowl of south Kaaleran noodles (thin, dried parasitic eels native to Kaalera's coasts, cleaned and fermented with starch. Add steamed veggies, whatever eggs you have on hand, and plenty of spices), which is notoriously too hot for most species to handle.

SPARKPLUG: I elaborated on this a little before, similar to Rose, but I think Sparks is partial to sweets! Sweet for his species, anyway. He loves the kinds of tangy, metallic preserved pastries native to his home planet, recipes carried down and altered by his family for generations, across planets. I'm lazy so I'm just going to steal what I already wrote:

Pie is a universal concept.

NORA ACTON: Peanut butter + banana + bacon sandwich. Simple, very filling. I like to think she only realized this after moving out and trying to figure out how to feed herself in her academy days.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

Going to give you a catch-all answer for this to start with: the conceit of the comic, and subsequently most of the crew, was that it was originally a cast of Starbound OCs! That obviously has changed, but it's still in their roots. As for specifics...

-Rose was sort of her own thing, a position of leader and captain that needed to be filled- and she only really came into her own later in terms of development, inspired by characters like Alyx Vance or Ellen Ripley in particular- and my own personal experiences, actually. I think in a lot of ways Rose is closest to me.

-Venus's inspiration is weirdly difficult to pin. Taako from TAZ, maybe? A little bit of the Rito from when I played BOTW? He's kind of his own character, really.

-Gills, however, was definitely strongly inspired by Ford Pines. I feel like it's a little obvious sometimes. Then, a little later, characters like Spock, or Kim Kitsuragi.

-Sparkplug... draw your own conclusions based on the information above, particularly his dynamic with Gills. His arc, however, was also strongly influenced by my own ongoing struggles with chronic fatigue.

-Domino is inspired by a whole host of fictional characters, ranging from Lupin to Max from sam & max to Shiraishi from golden kamuy, but the most important part is that she was originally an OC created by my friend Addy, who I've known since the comic was in its baby stages. That part of who she is is extremely important to her core as a character.

-Nora is kind of like... a fusion of Sam Raimi era Peter Parker and inspector Zenigata from Lupin III. But british. and butch.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

ROSE CUBBAGE: Worrying. Creating collages, actually, but those mostly consist of future plans and secret obsessive corkboards. She used to enjoy biking, and still has her bike from when she was an older teenager sitting around on the station, despite not using it much.

DOMINO: Stealing things to create "art" in her room. I think she'd love to branch out and create more multi-media type stuff, but she's mostly motivated by boredom.

VENUS: Between you and me, I think they write fanfic. Something he would no doubt label as extremely cringe and keep very close to his chest, but fun to kick back and knock out a couple hundred words on every once in a while. They mostly tinker with robotics, though that's less of a hobby and more the main thing he does around the station, so it can get a little boring. I think they could put effort into making video games if they really felt up to it, but they struggle with seeing the point in it. Creative passion projects are embarrassing, after all- from his perspective.

GILLS KVN: Aside from reading, I'm not so sure Gills has any hobbies to begin with. He spends most of his time working on projects in the lab, which while he might consider it fun, it's still ultimately work. I think he would really benefit from taking up something like terrariums or aquariums, maybe some casual gardening. That, and cooking- which is really another form of chemistry, if you think about it.

SPARKPLUG: Another damn workaholic. However, Sparks enjoys music as a hobby immensely, and is rarely far from a stringed instrument, such as his retractable banjo. When the joints in his hands get tired or locked up, I think he'd enjoy getting outside and doing a little nature-watching. Does that count as a hobby? It does now.

NORA ACTON: Nora is definitely the most visually artistic of the crew, something that she's never considered for a career but definitely enjoys as a hobby. She mostly does environmental art, studying things from nature and her surroundings- a fun practice for someone with such a photographic memory. Similarly, I think she loves using her camera, even if it's mostly something she picked up for work.

#lab notes #oc tag #THANK YOU YASHA

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flyingflosser09 · 2 years

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Cursed / Armando Salazar x OC / Chapter 26

“Here you go, miss.”

This time, I’m fully prepared when the two dimwitted pirates dump a bucket of salt water on me. However, not before contemplating whether or not it will actually work, considering my injuries are internal – a broken back. In those five minutes, I’ve finally learned their names. Murtogg and Mullroy.

But like all the times the ocean healed my wounds, it did the trick and I found myself sitting up a few minutes later.

That was one of the worst injuries I’ve had so far, and that says a lot. It’s not the pain of hitting the deck that left me traumatized, but rather the feeling of not being able to feel anything below my neck. I was completely paralyzed and vulnerable, unable to run to Armando and forced to watch him leave.

And he took Henry with him.

For leverage perhaps? I don’t know, but I hope he won’t hurt him. He knows that I care for Henry.

All I know is, the Trident is the only thing that can save us all now, the Spanish officers, Armando, Henry, even the pirates. And we have to find it quick.

The sun is slowly rising, its golden rays leaking over the rocky hills and revealing the true nature of the island we sailed on. My jaw drops when the light reflects on millions and millions of crystals and gemstones littered all over the land, glittering like the stars in the night sky. It’s a perfect reflection of the heavens.

The pirates around me have gone silent in awe of what they see. Even Murtogg and Mullroy don’t ruin the moment with some dim question or comment.

But the moment ends when Carina, Jack, and Barbosa make their way to the deck. The former two begins climbing down the Pearl to start the search for the Trident, however, the latter stops at me.

“Ready to receive your heritage, Miss Samira?”

I know what he really wants to ask: Am I ready to give him what’s rightfully mine?

But the situation now is more dire than my concern over a power-hungry captain. Fed up with his constant pressure, I decide to make a deal of my own. “How about an accord?”

Oh, how they love that word.

Barbosa’s eyes – blue like Carina’s underneath all that redness – narrow at me. “I’m listening.”

“I will give you everything you asked for on two conditions. One; we break all the curses of the ocean first, and two, you promise to take Henry and Carina to Port Royal, alive and in one piece.” As I doubt either of them would want to sail with a crew of former cursed Spanish officers. I can formerly introduce Armando to my best friend another time.

Barbosa goes silent as he considers my conditions, almost making me roll my eyes. Honestly, it’s two, very simple terms with no grey areas. A yes or no would suffice.

At last, he says, “We have an accord, missy.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Without waiting for him, I begin the climb down the Pearl to catch up with Jack and Carina.

The four of us make our way across the rocky surface of the island. There are no trees or any other plant in sight, only hills encrusted with shiny rocks and gems. Sapphires, diamonds, emerald, every gem under the sun is right here. I’m glad no one has found this place yet. Imagine the damage they’d do if they see all this.

Carina walks ahead with her journal in hand, heading for a rocky pedestal with a ruby at its top. Unlike the other stones, it’s dim and lifeless, and I hardly would’ve seen it if Carina didn’t know to look for it.

We stop at the pedestal and study the stone.

“Why is it not glowing?” Carina wonders out loud, searching her journal for answers.

Barbosa opens his hand to reveal a ruby fragment in his palm. “Finish it, Carina.”

“The missing star,” she mutters as he hands it to her. “For my father.”

“Aye, do it for him.”

In that brief exchange between them, I thought I saw the captain’s demeanor change. Gone is the greedy glint in his eyes when he thinks about the Trident and gone is the hard exterior he carries on his expression. I’m baffled to find him looking at Carina with the softest look I’ve ever seen in his eyes – the same blue and Carina’s.

And that’s when I realize, he is her father.

I’ve said it many times before, I’m not daft. They both know a lot about the stars, they’re both driven to their goals, and their eyes…they’re a dead giveaway.

However, I choose not to say anything for now as Carina places the fragment onto the ruby. The moment it’s become whole again, it lights up and a line of red, glowy light connects it with four other stars a few yards off. To my surprise, the form the same constellation we’ve been following through the storm earlier.

But as soon as the pattern is complete, I feel a force expanding within me, stirring in my chest before spreading to the rest of my body. I gasp as every inch of me comes alive, filling me with so much power and clarity, I can almost see the horizon up close and feel every living creature swimming beneath the waters.

“Samira are you –” Carina begins to ask but never finishes that sentence.

The next thing we know, the island is quaking and shaking beneath our feet. Behind us, the ocean rumbles as waves roll sideways instead of toward the land. My breath hitch in my throat when the sea begins to part, watery walls forming left and right to clear a path to the bottom of the ocean.

But when I look down, the ground beneath us is cracking.

“Brace yourselves!” I cry just before the land gives away, sending us falling.

I only have enough time to shove Barbosa backwards before following Jack and Carina down the steep slope – not because he wants the power of the ocean for himself, but rather because he’s Carina’s father and clearly, she doesn’t know it. If we survive this, there will be a chance for him to tell her.

The slide downward is anything but enjoyable. My arms enclose my face to protect it from damage as rocks and corals grate the back of my attire to shreds, eventually even scraping by shoulders and back.

Below me, Jack and Carina are screaming all the way down, not having the best of luck either on the journey. Even worse, Carina is wearing a dress that keeps getting caught on every obstacle in the way. Despite the agonizing pain I’m experiencing, I’m grateful that I’m still wearing the cabin boy clothes I used to sword fight in.

When we reach the end of the slope, I’m relived to feel myself falling onto the cool, soft sand at the ocean floor. But it doesn’t help to muffle the agonizing gasp that escapes me when I try standing up. I imagine my back is probably scraped raw and red, no doubt bleeding like my elbows and hands.

Come to think about it, ever since this journey started, I’m either constantly falling to my death, or getting myself grated like cheese.

Pushing myself up, I take a moment to gawk at our surroundings. We are literally at the bottom of the ocean. Watery walls tower far above us to the surface, where the sky is turning orange in the early dawn. I slowly turn in circles to admire the coral and reef, ranging from every color under the sun, to the schools of fish passing by in the wall.

It’s so beautiful, I can’t help but laugh.

Reaching out, I dip my hand into the wall and feel the saltwater travel up my arm to heal the wounds in my back. A few curious fish swim up to me and against my hand, and, to my shock, even a whale passes by elegantly, its fin poking through the wall right above my head.

“Amazing,” I breathe, smiling uncontrollably as I run my hand over the fish’s spine.

By now, Carina and Jack have found their feet and are also drinking in the magnificence of this place.

“Poseidon’s tomb,” Jack says as we face the path through the corals and rocks.

“The Trident is here,” I say to no one in particular as a certain pull tells me to venture deeper. “I can feel it. Follow me.”

…

Above the tomb, the Silent Mary keeps close to the island.

The whole crew is gathered on the deck with Henry in Magda’s hold, as Salazar paces in rage.

Why didn’t Samira return to the Mary when he told her to. That way, she’d be here right now and not in the hands of the pirates still.

There are no words to explain what the Capitán felt when he saw her fall from the mast. He could feel the impact she made with the deck all the way from the helm and hear the sickening crack that came after it. And when she didn’t come running at him right away, he knew. He knew.

She was badly hurt this time.

Now, he knows water can heal her, but seeing that happen to the woman he loves, he can’t forget it. What if something like that happens to her after her curse is broken? Water won’t heal her anymore. She’ll be vulnerable to everything.

And this fills him with even more anger. He blames Jack Sparrow from the very start, cursing the day he was born. He will have his revenge and kill the Sparrow for everything he’s taken from him, and once the pirate is dead, he will be free to pursue life with Samira.

And that’s where the boy comes in.

Ghosts can’t walk on land, but the boy can. The plan is simple: he will possess the boy, enter the tomb of Poseidon, and kill Jack Sparrow. And once he’s mortal once more, he will personally walk up that island to take what’s his: Samira. And he won’t leave a single man – pirate – alive to tell the tale, this time.

“Capitán , you know the danger. Don’t do it,” Lesaro tries changing his mind about possessing Henry.

“We have no choice,” says Santos as Salazar keeps pacing, “Jack is on land going for the Trident. The pirates have Samira. Both are on land.”

Lesaro nearly flinches at the mentioning of Samira’s name, admitting to himself that he’d too possess a living soul to get her back. But this is madness, and Salazar knows it. “Capitán , there must be another way. Once you possess the living, there is no coming back. You will be trapped in his body forever.”

Henry’s eyes widen at the mentioning of that.

“The Trident will set me free!” Armando barks at the Lieutenant, losing more patience by the second.

“But what if it kills Samira?”

As soon as he said that, Salazar, along with every officer on the Mary, stills. Turning around slowly to face Lesaro, he says gravely, “What makes you think breaking the curse will kill her?”

“Because…” Lesaro hesitates, “…she is the daughter of Poseidon.”

“You believe the lies the pirate told?” He is fuming by now. But Armando has to admit, even he pondered that possibility the day before. He just can’t believe it coming from a pirate.

“Capitán , think about it,” the Lieutenant remains calm despite Salazar’s fury, “the Trident controls the ocean and its curses. If she is indeed the daughter of Poseidon, won’t she lose her power at the cost of our freedom? And I don’t even want to think it but…what if we lose her.”

The conflict between Armando’s head and heart makes it impossible to think rationally. Unable to make a decision, he finds himself trapped between the outcomes of each scenario.

Risk the woman he love’s life for his freedom, or spend an eternity cursed for her live.

Love or freedom?

Freedom or love?

The more conflict he feels, the angrier he gets. But as the rage begins clouding his judgement, it all just…disappears. He knows what he has to do.

Turning to the boy, he says darkly, “Time to kill a sparrow.”

#armando salazar #armando #salazar #pirates of the caribbean: dead men tell no tales #pirates of the caribbean #potc dmtnt #potc #dmtnt #jack sparrow #henry turner

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justanisabelakinnie · 2 years

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So I watched CinemaSins’ “Everything Wrong With Encanto in 17 Minutes or Less” video and...

Someone please tell me it’s satire before I absolutely rip into this bitch(although knowing me, I’ll probably do it anyway.).

#encanto #cinemasins #cinemasins salt #cinemasins is legitimately funny sometimes but this video was just irritating #it's hard to tell whether he's being serious sarcastic or both and if he's just bad at one the other or both #especially when he brings up good points like how the family mistreats mirabel and also how mirabel sarcastically apologizes to isabela #which not a lot of people do #as well as how the townsfolk are idiots who blame bruno for their own shortcomings #but then he jokes about a teenaged bruno bringing a girl home and camilo being hated by the entire village #as well as brings up the typical why didn't dolores tell fact #AND FUCKING CALLS PEPA JULIETA AND MISSPELLS SOME OF THE CHARACTERS' NAMES #i just can't with this shit #in their raya video they also ask would you rather have nine one-inch dicks or one nine-inch dick #the answer is neither but still ew gross and unnecessarily pandering to lonely fapping teenage boys #i was practically rolling my eyes at every sin since it was like he wasn't even thinking them through #and was just saying shit to either sound smart be funny or have his cake and eat it too by being satire #while also trying to bring up serious points #like no jeremy how about your ass simply boards an airplane and dumps your computer and mic out the window and into the open sea #never to be seen or heard from again #that seems like a nifty solution to this inconvenient problem #like #literally

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pan-fangirl-345 · 3 years

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Promise Me You Won't Fall In Love

Summary: You and Tsukishima have been friends since you were kids, and you made a promise not to fall in love with each other. But of course, everything's fine and great until someone (both of you) fucked up and caught feelings.

TW: swearing, mutual pining, unrequited love (it is requited later), minor harassment (not a lot), and there is some derogatory talk from an extra that doesn't even have a name (Kei puts him in his place, I promise).

A/N: So this wasn't requested, but I've been thinking about this one a lot recently and I wanted to do something with it, hence this.

Note: Anything in italics is a memory! Well, not all of it, but the longer sections. Most of the time the one or two word-er things are simply emphasized, that kind of thing.

"Tsukishima, your girlfriend's here to see you!" Sugawara told the middle blocker, and he turned to see you leaning against the wall near Yachi and Kiyoko, laughing at something they were saying to you.

"She's not my girlfriend," Kei muttered, walking over.

"Kei! I knew you'd be here," you said, digging through your bag. "One of the girls in my class wanted me to give this to you."

You handed him a bright pink envelope with black sparkly writing on the front, his name scrawled in almost perfect handwriting.

"Another love letter?" he asked, taking it.

"Probably, I've stopped asking. It makes them think that we're together," you told him, crossing your arms.

Kei sighed, opening the letter with little fanfare.

He scanned through it quickly, rolling his eyes.

One thing he had noticed was that the letters he had been getting were really sucky poetry and fancy words. They knew nothing about him worthwhile and he was pretty sure they just wanted to check off the 'I have a boyfriend' box on their high school checklists.

Kei made a noise of disgust and walked over to the nearest trash can, dumping the letter in.

"I'm assuming that's another no?" you asked, smirking at him, already knowing the answer.

He nodded, ignoring the smirk on your face.

You, Tadashi, and Kei had all been friends since middle school. Kei had known you longer, since you lived in the same neighborhood, but you had kind of adopted Tadashi when you had heard about him being bullied, hence why Kei and you were actual friends now. Tadashi was the link between the two of you that had stuck. Being forced to make conversation as some of the only kids in the neighborhood had simply made you acquaintances.

"If you knew I was going to say no then why would you give me the letter?" Kei asked.

"Because I'm hoping you'll broaden your horizons," you offered, waving your hand dismissively. "Besides, it sends the wrong message if I just throw them away without giving them to you. Not to mention, a lot of the girls don't like me to begin with because I'm one of the few people you can tolerate for more than a few minutes at the time. You've never had a girlfriend, Kei, even if they aren't girlfriend material, couldn't you at least make a few more friends?"

"I can barely deal with you and Tadashi, I don't need anymore friends," Kei told you, and you laughed.

"Keep telling yourself that Kei. I'll see you guys later, alright?"

Tadashi and Kei nodded, watching you leave before they rejoined practice.

"Are you sure she isn't your girlfriend, Tsukishima?" Sugawara asked, watching the blocker with mild interest.

Despite being second years now, their former upperclassmen were showing up more as tournament season drew closer. Though Kei also suspected that they were being nostalgic and that they missed their underclassmen's chaos.

"I'm sure," he assured the former setter. "Why?"

"Nothing, just a hunch," he murmured.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Guys, do you ever wonder how many people see you on the side of the street and think, 'Wow, they are the most beautiful person I have ever seen'?" you asked, as you hung upside down on the monkey bars.

"I think the blood is going to your head, (Y/F/N)," Tadashi teased.

"No, I'm serious," you said, turning to look at him. "I was thinking, earlier, about how Kei keeps getting all these love letters, and it made me wonder how many people see me as attractive, but never say anything. I don't think it's very many," you admitted, "but I wonder if they are out there."

Tadashi sighed, putting his hands on his forehead in an exasperated manner.

"(Y/F/N)," he said, sounding almost breathless, "just because Kei is getting letters doesn't mean that people don't find you attractive."

"I'm not saying people don't find me attractive," you said, swinging yourself up onto the bars again. "I know someone in the world must have standards that low, but just because they find me attractive doesn't mean they would date me."

"Why are we talking about this?" Kei asked, annoyance riddling his tone.

"Technically Tadashi and I were talking about it," you told him. "You were simply listening to the conversation."

"That doesn't tell me why this is the topic of conversation," he countered.

"I'm just saying! Kei keeps getting all these letters, and it makes me wonder if these girls actually think that they're in love with him. Attraction is really just a release of chemicals in the brain from when we were simply a species trying to survive. But that's not love," you said.

"So what's love to you?" Tadashi asked, curious.

"I think real, true love is when you see something that reminds you of them and you smile, even without realizing it. I think it's when it hurts to see them hurt, but you stay by them instead of seeking revenge, knowing they need you in the moment. I think it's the little inside jokes that mean nothing to people around you, but it's everything to you. I think it's knowing that there are plenty of people that are better than you out there, but wanting to stick around to be better for that person, to prove that you're worth it.

"I think it's seeing all the broken pieces, and loving them all anyway. It's remembering the little things. It's being able to sit in complete silence and know what the other is saying just because of the way their eyes crinkle. It's knowing that they have the power to break off new pieces, and trusting that they won't. It's when . . . instead of breaking pieces of yourself so that they can handle you, you stay whole. If they choke, you know it's not love, not really.

"It's knowing that you can stand on your own two feet, but leaning on them anyway. It's knowing that you are your own person, but wanting to share it with someone anyway. It's feeling free and wild, but content to stay still, because you trust them. For me, I feel like love is knowing that someone would read with me on a window seat, watching it rain, but they would also drive just a little too fast down older roads with the windows down so we can pretend, just for a moment, that we're in a shitty music video."

You smiled as you turned yourself upside down on the monkey bars again.

"I think it's kind of like what we have, but more romantic."

"You've been reading too much fanfiction," Kei muttered.

"Maybe," you admitted. "But maybe that's because I want to be able to spew romantic bullshit like that when I finally find a guy that likes me for me. I realize that, realistically, I'll probably never feel like that. Or at least, I won't feel it enough to put it into words like that. Fantasy never lives up to reality after all. But it's a nice thought."

"So, you don't think you'll ever find something like that?" Tadashi asked.

"I think that I'll either end up married to a man that was good enough, or on my own with no social life except you and Kei. I'll rely on work to keep me entertained."

Kei snorted.

"What's so funny you overly salted French fry?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

"If I ever think you're marrying a man that's just 'good enough', I'll say 'I object!' at the wedding," he told you.

"Oh yeah?" you asked, smiling. "And why's that?"

"Because you deserve more than that," he said, looking you in the eye. "(Y/F/N), you are not the kind of girl that should end up with 'good enough'. You're too . . . free for that. Although, maybe independent is a better word. You would wither with just 'good enough', and that's not something I'm willing to let happen."

"Aw, so you do care about me," you cooed, swinging yourself upright onto the bars. "And don't worry Kei, we both know that Tadashi and I will never let you settle with 'good enough' either."

"What about me?" Tadashi squawked, and you laughed.

"Come 'Dashi," you chided, "we all know that you won't end up with 'good enough' even if you try."

His cheeks went pink and you laughed again.

Kei, as much as he pretended otherwise, really loved seeing you and Tadashi laugh like this. It reminded him that there were people who didn't see just the bastard act that he threw up to protect himself.

He loved the way your dimple appeared when you gave Tadashi that real smile, not the smirk or the grin you gave people. He loved seeing Tadashi carefree and not hiding behind his hand when he laughed or smiled.

He loved being able to sit and watch the two of you interact, but know that he could pop into the conversation whenever.

"Kei, that look on your face is kind of creepy," you teased, sliding to the ground to ruffle his hair, a small way of telling him you didn't mean it. "What's it for?"

"Nothing," he muttered, hoping to the heavens that his ears weren't turning pink, though they probably were.

"Come on Tsukki," Tadashi said, giving him a look, "we've all been friends for years. We know you better than that."

"I'm just glad is all," he murmured.

"Glad for what?" you asked, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, leaning over them to look at his face.

"You. Tadashi. You know, my friends," he confessed.

Damn it! His ears were definitely pink.

But he didn't shove you off.

Most people assumed that Kei was a jerk all the time, and while that might have been true for anyone else, you and Tadashi were the exceptions to his rule.

You and Tadashi had been friends with him for almost your whole lives, and both of you had been there during the brother debacle.

You and Kei had lived in the same neighborhood for years, and had been a part of more than a few conversations that had been forced by social convention, and your mother had been good friends with his in high school, though they had lost touch after that.

You had noticed Tadashi being bullied in class and had stepped in, defending him and deciding that he was more worth your time than the other kids.

Which led you to Kei, when you found out that he had helped Tadashi on the playground, even if that had never been his original intention.

The three of you had become a trio of sorts in your later years, though your reputations weren't the most . . . innocent.

Kei had always had a sharp tongue and a quicker wit, and his irritation seemed to have no limits.

You were on level with him, though you were much harder to set off than he was.

Tadashi never really provoked, but he watched as the two of you eviscerated anyone that insulted him.

Kei was ruthless with people who made comments on you and/or Tadashi, never giving them a chance to get another word in, though they had often tried, simply making themselves seem more like idiots.

On the other hand, you tended to let people hang themselves with their own tongues, before using that quick wit and sharp tongue to gut them like the pigs that they were.

Tadashi had little confidence on his own, and he tended to be more affected by words than you or Kei, so most of the time he let you and Kei handle people, but every once in a while, he would be set off.

Nothing was scarier than Tadashi getting pissed. He was rarely ever confrontational, but when something set him off, it was terrifying. He got really quiet, and he never raised his voice. There was a quiet kind of fury that radiated from him when he got like that, and if you and Kei used your words to eviscerate, Tadashi used his to give someone hypothermia. He would make them get colder and colder before their brains tricked them into thinking they were too hot, and then ended them.

All three of you were terrifying in your own ways, but that didn't mean you were like that all the time.

Kei wasn't an asshole all the time, and he enjoyed receiving hugs and other types of physical affection, he was just shit at reciprocating it and letting others see that more 'vulnerable side of him', as he put it. He was better at fixing problems logically. He helped you and Tadashi study, or sometimes bought gifts to make you both feel better, little things that still made your days.

Tadashi was someone who might not be confrontational, but he was very good about getting you and Kei out of your heads when something did hit a chink in your respective armors. He knew that both you and Kei were more affected by what people said than most people were led to believe. He was also a very good listener.

You were the giver of physical affection when the boys needed it. Kei tended to need it more than Tadashi, since Tadashi had his moms who were more than willing to give hugs. Kei didn't like his mother thinking anything was wrong, and he didn't completely trust his brother anymore, so physical contact was kept to a minimum.

Tadashi was okay with giving Kei affection, but most of the time, when it came to Kei, you were the one he went to.

You had asked him once, why he always came to you.

"I sometimes think Tadashi puts me up on a pedestal," he had admitted. "He knows me, and he's my friend, but sometimes it feels like I can't disappoint him. I don't feel that way with you. Besides, your short enough that hugging you feels better. Plus, Tadashi is all bones."

"We're glad for you too Kei," you told him, leaning your chin on his shoulder.

Tadashi nodded, taking a seat beside Kei.

Kei's heart clenched, like it often did when he was reminded that he really did have great friends, and his ears got hotter.

"Alright, enough of the mushy stuff," he muttered, trying to wave you and Tadashi away.

"Come on Kei," you whined softly, gently bumping your head with his, "we all know that you have a heart! Don't be that way, it's just us."

Kei made a small noise, and you laughed, releasing him so that you could sit on his other side, peering up into his face with your adorable fucking doe eyes.

"You know you don't have to pretend with us," you murmured, leaning on his shoulder, taking his hand.

"Yeah, we've all been friends for long enough Tsukki," Tadashi agreed, leaning his head on Kei's other shoulder.

"I hate you both," he muttered, trying to hide his face in his hands.

"Nuh uh," you said, pulling away to pull his hands from his face, sounding like a child. "No hiding from us."

You took his hand again, and for a while, all three of you just sat there, enjoying each other's company.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Tsukishima! You're girlfriend is here again," Suga said, gesturing to where you were walking through the doors of the gym, laughing with Yachi.

"Again, she's not my girlfriend," Kei muttered.

He remembered, suddenly, about the promise you had both made when you were middle school and boys were starting to notice girls and vice versa.

"Kei and (Y/F/N) would make such a cute couple when they're older," your mother had told his, smiling as you both chatted at a neighborhood barbeque, being two of the only children there that could hold an intelligent conversation.

At that point, you and Kei were more than acquaintances, but you weren't exactly friends yet either.

Neither mother had realized that you and Kei had overheard, and when Kei had glanced at you, your nose was wrinkled like it did when you were grossed out by something, your expression mirroring his.

"Promise me something Kei," you had said, turning your attention back to him. "Promise me that you won't ever fall in love with me."

"Why not? I mean, I won't, but I want a reason," he had said, arms crossed as he looked at you.

"Because we're friends," you had said, like it had been the simplest thing in the world. "And because if we ended up falling in love and dating that means Tadashi would feel left out all the time and I won't let that happen. So promise me."

"I promise not to fall in love with you if you promise not to fall in love with me," he had offered.

"Deal," you had told him, offering him your hand to shake on it.

"Ah, Kei, there you are!" you said, smiling at him. "There's another letter. Based on the amount of hearts on it, another confession."

"Keep it," he muttered, pushing your hand away when you went to hand him the letter.

"Kei, I don't want to carry around another one of your love letters," you said, wrinkling your nose. "These aren't for me, and they make me sick, so please, for the sake of our friendship, take the damn thing off my hands so I can wash them."

He sighed, a pained sound that had you laughing, and took the letter, slipping it into his bag, wondering if the girls at school would ever take a hint that he wasn't interested.

"Why is Tsukishima so popular with the girls?" Hinata wondered out loud. "His personality is so crappy."

"And I don't think I've ever heard him say a nice thing to anyone," Kageyama added.

"That's because you guys are irritating to Kei," you interrupted, turning to them, arms crossed and hip cocked out to the side. "Most of the time, he's helpful and respectful. You two just aren't the kind of people he would voluntarily hang out with."

"Rude," Hinata cried, then pouted, "but true."

"The only people Kei really rips into are people he doesn't like, doesn't respect, people who disrespect Tadashi or me, or people who betray his trust. You two are options one and two."

"He just seems like an unfeeling asshole, even after three years of knowing him."

"I think it's the opposite actually," you told them.

Kei could feel your eyes on the back of his head, either unaware that he could hear you or uncaring that he was listening.

"I think he feels all of it, at one hundred and twenty percent. He just acts like that to avoid getting hurt in most cases. In your case though, he really does just not like you. Or, more accurately, he doesn't like that you two are so clearly passionate about something when he gets scared of something hurting him if he cares too much. Like Tadashi told you once, Hinata, if Kei didn't at least like volleyball, he wouldn't be here. Just think about it," you told them.

"(Y/F/N)!" Tadashi called. "We're still studying at your place right?"

"Yeah, just like always," you assured him. "Kei, you still have the spare key, just let yourselves in."

He nodded, spinning the ball in his hands as he watched you walk away.

"Tsukishima, are you one hundred percent sure that she isn't your girlfriend?" Suga asked, eyebrows raised at him.

"Three hundred percent sure," Tsukishima grunted as he served the ball.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why do you never accept any of the confessions, Kei?" you asked, looking at him from over the top of your textbook.

Your head was hanging off the side of your bed and your socked feet were crossed at the ankles, resting on your wall.

Kei's neck hurt just looking at you, but he didn't say anything to you about moving.

"Because they aren't my type," Kei muttered, checking his notes before writing down an answer on his paper.

"What is your type?" you inquired, rolling onto your stomach, setting you book to the side. "Because I don't think I've ever seen you take an interest in a girl." You frowned, then added, "Romantic interest I mean."

Kei wondered what other interest you had thought he might get out of that, but he decided not to question it. Despite knowing you for years, and being as close to you as he was, you still managed to be somewhat of a mystery to him.

"Does it matter?" he asked.

"Yes, because I want to be able to set you up when you decide you're ready for a relationship!" you said. "Tadashi and I would make great wingmen. Well, wingman and wingwoman, but you know what I mean."

Kei actually turned to look at you at that one.

"You're serious," he muttered, noting the look on your face.

"Yes! Unless you don't think you're going to want a romantic relationship, which is completely okay too. I just want you to be happy is all."

"You know what makes me happy?" Kei asked, pausing to let you answer, but instead you stayed quiet, watching him with those damn doe eyes. "Getting my homework done and not having to deal with confessions from girls that don't know the first thing about me."

Kei heard your small chuckle, and as he went back to his homework, he found himself smiling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kei had always known that, objectively, you were very pretty (he had heard enough from his classmates over the years to have it verified), but sometimes you did something, and he would realize all over again.

Today you had laughed a little harder as he ripped into someone, and you had given him one of those dimpled smiles that he adored so much, and he had stood there blinking for a moment before he cooled his expression again.

Kei didn't really understand why he got so mad when someone flirted with you in the hallways, or when you came to cheer the team on during games.

He had always assumed that it was merely because you were such good friends, but then he had realized that no one else got that mad, they didn't feel the same painful burning in the pit of their stomachs at seeing you with another guy.

Asking Suga had done absolutely nothing, the setter had merely suggested that Kei was jealous, which was absolute bullshit, and he wasn't desperate enough to contact Bokuto or Kuroo yet, though he might be at the point of asking Akaashi.

He would know if he liked you the way that the older setter was implying. He would know if he was in love with you.

Right?

Kei could worry about that later, right now he was more interested in getting that guy's hand off your shoulder and away from your neck.

"(Y/F/N)," Kei called, striding over, back straight. "The game's about to start, we've got to go."

"Kei!" you chirped, smiling at him, moving to his side immediately, giving the guy that had been bugging you a sugar sweet (and utterly fake) smile over your shoulder. "See you around never, hopefully!"

Kei pressed his lips together to hide his smile, letting you wrap your hand around his.

"Was that guy bothering you?"

"A little, but you got there just in time," you told him, your hand tightening it's grip for a moment before you let him go. "Thanks for always having the most amazing timing Kei!"

"Yeah, whatever," he told you, bumping your shoulder with his.

"Seriously, what is it with the girls that hang around with us and wandering off?" Daichi asked when you walked into the gym with Kei.

"Sorry guys! I just wanted to buy a key chain," you said, holding it up, grinning. "It's not my fault that athletes can't take no for an answer! Sometimes I think your on-court determination bleeds over into everyday life."

There were some nods, and Kei watched as the guy that had been bothering you stepped onto the other side of the court.

He followed the guy's eyes to you, where you were laughing at something Kageyama said.

Did- Did that moron just lick his lips at you?

Kei felt that burning sensation in his stomach again.

Kei didn't realize that he had been glaring until he heard your voice right next to him.

"Anyway, good luck guys!" you told them, affectionately ruffling Tadashi's hair, hip-checking Kei on your way into the stands, flashing him that damned dimpled grin over your shoulder.

"Hey, Blondie!" the guy called. "You, Glasses! I'm talkin' to you!"

Kei turned to see the guy from earlier smirking at him.

"Dude, your girl is so hot!" he said.

Kei felt the entirety of Karasuno tense behind him as they realized what was going on.

"Yeah, she is," Kei agreed.

"Think you'd be willin' to share her with me? I promise I'd take good care of her."

"Oh shit," someone muttered, and Kei saw red for a moment before he got himself under control.

"Is your ass jealous about the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?" Kei asked, putting his hand on his hip.

Using insults like that was never really his thing, but he was really pissed right now.

"Hey, Tsukki," Tadashi said quietly, "you might not want to-"

"What did you just say to me?" the guy asked.

"Hey, Kei!" you called from the stands, waving at him to catch his attention. "Leave the smack talk for when you actually win! Block his spike down his throat for me, alright?"

He nodded, giving you a grin that had you giving him one right back.

"God forbid if she was a guy and they were on the same team," Suga muttered, and the others nodded.

"Alright, time for the game to start," Daichi said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kei did as you asked: he blocked every single spike that the guy tried to send over the net, and Kei could already tell that the guy was pissed at the end of the first set.

He was spiking more and more aggressively, which was screwing up aim to the point where Kei didn't even really need to block.

"Go Karasuno!" you cheered, smiling at the team from the stands.

Kei, every time he felt his anger getting out of control, looked to you in the stands to calm down.

Finally, the scumbag was so out of control that he was switched out with another wing spiker.

From there, the game was easy.

By the end of it, Kei hadn't even needed to look for you in the stands. Not only had he memorized where you were, but no one else on that team pissed him off as much as that scumbag did.

As soon as the ball landed on the other side of the court, and it was called, you were running down from the stands, running for him.

"Kei! You were so great!" you cheered, wrapping your arms around his neck, jumping at him.

He wrapped his arms around your waist to keep the both of you from falling over, and he buried his face in your neck as he set you down.

"Oh my gosh, Kei that was so amazing! I think that's the best you've played all season! Seriously! Some of those blocked looked like they would've ripped my arms off, that was so cool!" you gushed, holding onto his forearms.

Kei nodded, giving Tadashi a look over your shoulder for a moment, letting him know that it was okay for him to go on ahead.

"Thanks for blocking the slime ball for me Kei!" you said, smiling up at him. "And what did he say to you that got you so pissed off? I haven't seen you that mad in forever!"

"It was nothing," he told you, "it was stupid."

"Are you sure?" you inquired, looking up at him.

"Yeah, I'm sure the team will tell you about it later."

"Alright, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay," you told him, "'cause you looked really pissed. I haven't seen you that pissed off since that one guy tried to make Tadashi cry."

"I don't like it when people make you uncomfortable like that," Kei said. "It really pisses me off."

"Is that why you kept looking at me during the game?" you asked, and Kei wondered if any other girl would've been so honest with him about something like this, or if it as just the fact that you had both spent so much time together growing up. "I noticed that you always looked at me whenever you had the chance."

Kei nodded, gesturing with his head towards the doors, so that he could catch up with the team and talk with you at the same time.

"Yeah, that was one of the reasons. It kept me focused on the scumbag's spikes, and it calmed me down enough so that I didn't punch him whenever we were across the net from each other."

"I kinda wish that you had, but I also know that it would've gotten you ejected from the game, which is not something I want to happen. Anyway, thanks Kei," you told him, smiling up at him.

"Yeah, always," he said, putting his hand on your head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was when you were over at his house Sunday morning when he realized that he might need to call Kuroo and Bokuto.

You, Kei, and Tadashi had had a sleepover, but Tadashi had left early to spend some time with his moms, so Kei had woken up to you with a hand on his chest and his arm numb from where it was pillowing your head.

The three of you had been sitting on Kei's bed watching a movie, but Tadashi had tipped over sometime near the halfway marker, and Kei had fallen asleep not long after that, so he could only assume that you had fallen asleep sometime after Tadashi had left this morning.

Kei turned on his side slowly, not wanting to wake you up, wrapping an arm around your waist softly.

He toyed with your hair, twisting it in his fingers gently, brushing it behind your ear, threading his fingers through it.

He wasn't ready to get up for the day yet, so he laid there with you, wondering how it would be ten years in the future.

Would your hair be longer? Would you cut it shorter? Would you dye it? Would you have kids by then?

That last one had made him pause.

He had always known that short of you dying or some huge falling out, Kei was in no way going to be able to get rid of you or Tadashi, but he had never even considered dating you, let alone anything beyond that.

So why was he wondering what your kids would look like? Why was he wondering how many you would want, if any? Why was he questioning how many stray animals you might bring home after work?

He sounded like every lovesick fool that got his heart broken in those weird movies that Tadashi liked to watch.

Kei glanced down at your face, and he suddenly found himself unable to think of a reality where he didn't wake up like this for the rest of his life.

When had he stopped seeing you as his little sister, or the annoying female friend that all of his classmates admired? When had he started seeing you as someone he could fall in love with, if he hadn't already?

But even with this new revelation, he couldn't bring himself to pull away from you.

Kei loved it when you both bickered like you hated each other, and he loved when you were able to throw back any insulting thing he said to you. He loved being able to have real conversations with you, but he also liked just sitting quietly with you.

This though, this was by far his favorite thing, seeing all the stress gone from your body, seeing your face without any kind of mask on, he adore seeing the calm serenity that came with sleep.

"Mm, Kei?" you asked sleepily, glancing at him. "What time is it?"

"Still early," he murmured, tucking you into his chest again. "Go back to sleep."

"M'kay," you said, nuzzling in close.

Kei waited for a minute before he grabbed his phone and his glasses from the side table, texting Kuroo.

Normally, he would've talked to Tadashi, but Kei didn't want to drag him into anything until he knew for sure, just in case he was wrong.

Kei: I have a question for you

Kuroo: What's up Tsukki-poo?

Kei: First, don't call me that

Kei: Secondly, and this is completely hypothetical, but how do you know when you love someone?

Kuroo: Aww, is my little kouhai in love with someone? How cute!

Kei made a face, taking a deep breath and glancing at you quickly before he turned his attention back to his phone.

Kei: Just answer the question

Kuroo: We're talking hypothetically?

Kei: Yeah

Kuroo: Can't you use the internet for this stuff? Why ask me? Why not ask Freckles? Or the pretty setter on your team?

Kei: The internet would tell me I have cancer, not that I might be in love with someone

Kei: Secondly, as for the setter comment, I'm assuming you mean Suga

Kei: Thirdly, he would go tell Tadashi, and then the possible love interest, and I don't want to deal with any of those things

Kei: So, please, for the sake of my sanity, just answer the question

Kuroo: Alright, alright. Jeesh. Hypothetically, if you were in love with someone you might start noticing their presence more

Kuroo: It would feel almost like you have a compass where the needle points to them, and you can't turn it off. You notice the little things more than normal, and you know them. I mean, really know them. They feel almost like a part of you

Kuroo: Seeing them hurt hurts you. You constantly feel the need to make sure that they're okay. Even the little things that kind of annoy you are a huge part of what you love about them

Kuroo: You find yourself smiling at them, even when they're doing something completely mundane, and you could recognize their voice in a crowd. Suddenly, they went from just another person, to someone that you could find in a crowd, even if they blend in enough that they normally fade into the background

Kuroo: Hypothetically speaking, of course

Kei was surprised by how much his mentor was able to type out in such a short amount of time, but in the end, he was most surprised by how much it lined up with what you had told him earlier. The basics were the same, and Kei sighed, realizing what this meant for him.

Kei: How to I make it stop?

Kei: Hypothetically

Kuroo: When I figure that out, I'll let you know

Kei blinked at that, then sighed again.

Kei: Thanks, Kuroo-san.

Kuroo: Sure thing Skinny, let me know how it goes

Kuroo: Hypothetically, of course

Kei couldn't help but chuckle softly, and he set his phone aside, wondering whether this was going to change anything, and how long he had been in love with you.

He had always noticed the little things about you, it was just a part of him being perceptive, and he had grown up with you, so he automatically knew you better than 80 percent of the people you went to school with.

But he was more in tune with your presence than even Tadashi was. And he had always managed to pick your voice out in a crowd.

He glanced down at you, and suddenly, instead of being worried about if he was in love you, he was more worried about whether you loved him back or not.

Kei debated texting Tadashi, but he decided that it could wait, and he wanted to enjoy this time with you unhindered.

Kei knew that he was never going to say anything unless he was sure you felt the same way about him.

For one thing, you were nice enough that it was entirely possible that you would date him just because you were too nice to say no. For another thing, he wasn't the kind of guy to make a move if he thought it wouldn't lead to a win. Not to mention, that if you he did ask you out and you said no, that might make things awkward in the friend group, and Kei didn't want that to happen.

He had gone this long, right? What was a few more weeks?

But, of course, things didn't go the way that Kei wanted them to.

As the end of a semester approached, as well as the end of the year, projects piled on, as did speeches and tests.

Kei had always done well academically, and he wasn't as stressed as some of the other people he knew, like Hinata and Kageyama.

You seemed to be feeling the pressure too, even though Kei knew that you were going to be getting some of the higher grades in class, just like always.

You were freaking out more than usual, and Kei realized that he needed to do something if he didn't want you to overwork yourself.

He found you on the swings at the park by your house.

He had gone over to make sure that you had eaten something, but your mother had told him that you had gone out earlier, and that she didn't know where you were.

"Hey," he said, announcing his presence as he settled beside you.

"Hey Kei," you replied, staring at the ground in front of you like it held the key to the universe.

"Are you okay?"

"No," you admitted. "I'm so nervous and freaked out that I can't eat anything. I have that weird mineral deficiency so drinking water just makes me really dizzy and I almost passed out when I stood up at the end of the day and there's nothing I can do about it! Not to mention that, once again, I got stuck with the morons that aren't going to do anything to help me with the project so I'm stuck doing everything by myself. For some of my classes, that's okay, I can just tell the teacher that they didn't help, but for some of them they're going to give me that bullshit lecture about working together. I have no idea what to do my speech about for that one class, and I have so many back to back tests that I think I might forget everything!"

Kei let you ramble, watching the way your hands moved around, trying to communicate the stress and anger and nerves that you were experiencing all at once.

He watched the way yours eyes widened and squeezed shut to add extra emphasis. He watched the way you glanced over at him to make sure that he was still paying attention, to make sure that you weren't annoying him, the way you smiled a little bit whenever you noticed that he was watching you and that you weren't annoying him by talking.

Somehow, you started talking about the constant love letters that he was getting.

"I mean, I get that some girls feel the need to have a boyfriend," you said, rolling your eyes, "but I have bigger things to worry about than their attraction to you, you know? One girl gave me a letter the other day, and I was so tired that I didn't realize what it was, and I started to read it and I was caught between wanting to laugh, cry, and hurl all at the same time."

Kei perked up at that.

"It made me kinda sad too," you admitted, your voice quieting. "I mean, it must really suck for you, getting all these letters claiming that they love you when they don't even know that first thing about who you are. I mean, it was hilarious that she even thought that you were interested in getting a girlfriend, and it was sickening how many times she used the words 'hot', 'sexy', and 'unadulteratedly handsome' to describe you."

Kei knew he made a face at that, with the way you laughed, before you continued, your voice even quieter than it had been, "But it made me sad to think that you keep having to read these things. They claim that they love you, that they want to be with you, and they don't even know who you are. Not in a way that matters at least. I don't know, it was just kind of depressing I guess."

You glanced at him, turning to face him.

"I hope you don't mind, but I started throwing them away. I'm getting sick and tired of being their carrier pigeon, and I really hate thinking about you having to deal with them all the time. If they want to confess they can find another way to do it."

"I don't mind, at all," he assured you, and you smiled at him.

But then your smiled faded into something similar to a frown.

"Hey, Kei?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember that promise we made when we were kids?"

"How could I forget? You never shut up about it during middle school," he teased.

"I broke that promise," you whispered. "That was one of the reasons that those letters made me so upset. As someone who has loved you, really loved you, for longer than they've known about you, it made me sick to read some of the things they said. I know that that makes me sound like some kind of possessive bitch, but it's true."

Kei stared at you, wondering if he had just heard that right.

You were in love with him? And had been for more than three years?

Kei felt like the breath had been knocked out of him.

"What's with the face Kei?" you asked. "I thought you knew already."

Kei didn't think that his eyes could get any wider than they were at that moment.

"Y-You . . . I-I what?"

"Come on Kei, you had to have noticed by now," you said, looking more concerned by the second. "I mean, it's not like I act the same way around everyone else that I do around you."

Kei let his brain process the things that you were telling him before he managed to squeak out, "You mean, like a friend thing right?"

You bit your lip, checking his face for something, fiddling with your fingers in your lap.

"No, Kei," you said finally. "I mean like, I want to be your girlfriend kind of love."

You weren't looking at him now, and he was worried you were taking this the wrong way. He didn't want this to end in a misunderstanding so he sighed dramatically.

"So, you're telling me that I could have confessed months ago and avoided the entire overthinking part of my recent internal panic?" he asked, watching the way your brows furrowed with confusion, the way your head whipped up when you finally realized what he was saying to you.

"A-Are you saying that the feeling is mutual?" you asked, eyes wide as you both looked at each other.

"Yes, you dumbass," he teased, smiling softly at you. "I broke that promise too, so it's okay, since we both broke it."

Now you were the one staring at him in disbelief.

Then you were off your swing and pacing in front of them, waving your hands around like a madwoman.

"Holy shit, you love me back," you muttered, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye every few seconds, like you were worried he would disappear. "I-I don't know what to do from here. I never thought that I would get this far. Is . . . is this where we talk about whether we want this to be a serious thing?" you asked. "Is this where we agree that we love each other but we pretend like nothing's changed? What am I supposed to do in this situation?"

"For one thing," Kei said, standing so that he could wrap his hands around your wrists, gently making you look at him. "You could calm down and let me get a word or two in before you make yourself black out."

You nodded, taking a deep breath.

"For another," he continued, "you and I should go back to your house. Your mom is worried sick about you, and you need to eat something before you pass out. We can have a serious talk about what this means once you aren't in danger of passing out from exhaustion or malnutrition."

"Okay, but only because I know that you're going to make me do it anyway," you told him, making him laugh.

You both walked in silence for a while before you asked, "When did you realize?"

"A few months ago," he admitted. "I think I've always known, but that guy- the slimeball that I blocked- got on my nerves enough that I knew it wasn't some platonic 'protect a friend' thing. I started seeing it more and more after that. I talked to Kuroo-san about it when I was nearly 100 percent sure, and that solidified it for me I guess, that night you and Tadashi stayed over and we watched that horrid slasher film. I woke up and you were right there by my side, and suddenly I couldn't imagine waking up any other way."

"That really was a horrible movie," you muttered. "I didn't think you were going to be the cheesy one today, but then again, you are always surprising me. And you didn't think to tell me?"

"I was worried it would make things awkward, and I didn't want to say something and be wrong, you know? Besides, you can't say anything. How long have you known?"

"Do you remember the summer before our third year in middle school and we all stayed at my grandparents' camp for three weeks?"

"That long? We were- what?- twelve?"

"Yeah. I remember that there was a thunderstorm the first night we were there, and I got up in the middle of the night because I couldn't sleep, so I stood on the deck, in a tank top and shorts because I wanted to. I don't even remember how long I had been out there when you wandered out. I remember calling you a dumbass because 'What if I was a murderer?' and you just called me short.

"We both stood there for a few minutes, and when I shivered, you wrapped your arms around my waist from behind me, pressing your chest to my back and calling me an idiot for wearing something so light in the middle of a thunderstorm. Instead of doing the sensible thing and getting a blanket or a jacket, you just hugged me and stood there with me until I couldn't stand it and we went inside."

Kei remembered that. He had seen you standing out on the deck when the lightning had flashed, and he had been worried when you weren't in your room, so he had gone out to check on you.

You had looked so happy, standing there in the rain, listening to the thunder crash in the distance.

He had wanted to stay with you, so he had.

It was one of the first times he had decided that he didn't care what it looked like, he cared for you, and he was going to show it somehow.

Kei slipped his hand into yours, interlacing your fingers together.

You glanced at him, but you didn't say anything, just squeezed his hand and walked with him.

When you both got back to your house, you grabbed a plate of food and plopped down at your desk in your room.

Kei lounged on your bed while you ate, watching you flip through a textbook and scribble notes in between bites of food.

When you pushed the plate to the side, your turned to face him.

"So."

You both locked eyes and chuckled.

"I already told you what I wanted out of this," you told him, shrugging. "I'm fine with whatever we decide, but that's my best case scenario ending for this."

"You make this sound like a business meeting," he teased, watching you stand up to move next to him on your bed.

"What do you want from this, Kei?" you asked, glancing down at your lap.

"I want you to be my girlfriend," he admitted. "I want to glare at guys that think they even have a chance with you. I want to kiss you for good luck before a game, all that sappy shit that everyone says that I wouldn't be into."

You smiled, laughing a little breathlessly for a moment before you comprehended everything he said.

"All of it?" you asked, turning those damned doe eyes on him again.

"All of it," he confirmed.

You chuckled softly, taking his hand again.

"Good. Me too."

"Good," he replied, pressing a quick kiss to your temple.

You giggled, something that made Kei stop for a moment, because you weren't the type of girl to giggle, at anything.

He smiled softly at you, and he wondered how much shit he was going to get from his team with you around, but he realized that it wasn't anything he needed to worry about yet.

Then he remembered something else.

"Hey, do you want to cause a little chaos?" Kei asked you.

"How so?"

"Remember how I said I talked to Kuroo-san?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, he wanted me to let him know how it went," Kei admitted. "I have him, Bokuto, Akaashi, Lev, and Hinata in a discord group chat. I want to try something, if you're okay with it."

"What do you have in mind?" you asked, arching an eyebrow, a smirk on your lips that said you were up for almost anything.

Skinny: img.jpg

Skinny: Thanks Kuroo-san

five people are typing...

Kei laughed, leaning over to show you the chaos that had ensued when he had sent the group chat the photo of you kissing his cheek.

You giggled at the many exclamation points and question marks, snickering at Kuroo's reply.

"I love you," you told him, kissing his cheek again.

"I love you too," he said, ignoring the calls that were coming through on his phone as he leaned over to cup your face in his hands.

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gffa · 2 years

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avoid-avoidance replied:

hey, I know you get bothered by random asshats about star wars stuff sometimes so feel free to ignore this question for any reason, but I’m curious: do you have any thoughts you feel like sharing re: what makes Whiny Brat Anakin appeal to many fans when quite a few of the same fans vehemently reject kylo ren? at a glance, it does kind of seem like disney tried to clumsily replicate “all the stuff people liked about anakin/vader”, except they tried to cram the “bratty tantrums” and the “cool evil villainy” into one life stage as opposed to having one follow the other

I’ve been turning this over in my head for a week and have had a bit of a tough time trying to figure out how to approach it, because I feel like any answer I could put forth will have a dozen different answers and/or exceptions from different people. You have those who like Anakin and Kylo, you have those who like Kylo but not Anakin, you have those who like Anakin but not Kylo, you have those who don’t like either Anakin or Kylo, you have those who like one and are indifferent to the other, etc. Then you have Hayden!Anakin vs Matt!Anakin and people having various levels of affection for either/both, etc. etc. Any commentary I do is going to miss huge swathes of people who have different viewpoints, motivations, and preferences, so just dump the whole salt shaker over this post rather than just a grain of salt, pretty much. 😂 I think a lot of it comes down to that it took awhile for a lot of fans to warm up to whiny brat Anakin, that there are still huge chunks of fandom who hate the character for being a brat (especially if you go into more traditionally dudebro-dominated spaces), that TCW warmed a lot of people up to the character, made him more likeable and/or sympathetic, that they had hours and hours and hours to spend with the character, instead of just the movies. I think it’s a storm of different things--we never really see Ben Solo much before he becomes Kylo Ren, so there’s not much time to develop investment in his character as a sympathetic one (though, let’s be clear, there’s a huge fandom that finds him sympathetic and is invested in Ben Solo over Kylo Ren, though, I don’t find a lot of it is in the vein of being a fan of Whiny Brat Ben Solo, the way there are Whiny Brat Anakin Skywalker fans, but that might just be my lack of having sequels brain/not being in that part of fandom a ton), but also the way Kylo’s character was presented really pissed off a lot of people. That the female lead of the story became completely wrapped up in his story, that the other leads of color were pushed aside for another straight white dude character, etc. For a lot of people, a lot of the potential enjoyment of a character (whether in a more serious way or as a failboat) gets undercut when you look at a story and see characters of color being shoved to the side for him. I feel like there was some enjoyment of Kylo as a tantrum-throwing failboat when TFA was all we had--that one video of all the Skywalker men throwing tantrums and yelling was a fandom classic, for example--but then the movies took him very seriously, contrasted against the way Anakin was portrayed in some pretty hilariously bratty ways (which was deliberate, GL has said more than once that Anakin was a whiny, bratty teenager), and so there’s more fun brattiness to work with. Basically, I think it’s that Anakin did get a similar reaction when he first came out, but then TCW made people like the prequels more, people started focusing on the sympathetic aspects of Anakin’s character (in the movies and TCW), there was more time spent with the character (dozens of hours now instead of just a handful), and some fans started enjoying the hilarity of the character and it caught on with more fans. With Kylo, we don’t have much time with the character comparatively, he doesn’t get nearly as much time on-screen as a brat, he took up the space that other fan-favorite characters (of color, too) could have occupied, he didn’t have as sympathetic a backstory like Anakin’s childhood as a slave, his character arc came out at the same time as a rising wave of fascism in the world and the parallels struck a lot of people really badly, and the sequels get a lot of flak for not having a plan. Will Kylo one day follow a similar path as Anakin’s character did with fandom? It’s not out of the realm of possibility. But I feel like Disney doesn’t do “I do what I want” as much as Lucas did, when he was like, “I’m going to make an animated show based on the prequels, whether you guys like the prequels or not.”, so I’m not putting money on it. He was a popular character in parts of fandom, so maybe they’ll have a prequel-to-the-sequels series where we spend time with him and get a more sympathetic look into his character, but it doesn’t feel like that’s going to happen any time soon. And when you have all of the other stuff added in, I think the people who are interested in the character are interested in him more seriously and the people who hate the character aren’t at all interested in softening him up and the people who are on the fence aren’t touching the character with a ten foot pole.

#meta #this post is specifically focusing on people who like whiny brat anakin but don't like whiny brat kylo #different permutations of liking/not liking the characters (or HOW one likes the characters) are not the focus

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breelandwalker · 2 years

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Hi Bree,

I just found your blog and absolutely love it. I've been interested in witchcraft and wiccan beliefs and practices for some time now, and I've reached a point in my life where I want and need something new and something to hold onto. Something with meaning. I apologize that this isn't a more concise question, but I was just wondering what advice you have for someone just starting out. Be that personal advice or just places with sound information that I can go to for learning. I don't have any specific area that I'm most interested in, I just want to lean the basics of the history and what is involved and elaborate my research and practice based on what calls out to me. I've done a little research, but a lot of what I've found contradicts something I've read elsewhere or heard from someone, so I wanted to reach out before delving too far into doing my own research.

I hope you're doing good and I appreciate any and all help you can offer! :3

Hello, witchling! I have lots of stuff linked on my blog that I think might help you out.

For starters, you can check out my Advice For Beginner Witches tag. That's where I keep all the posts with practical tips and advice for newer witches, or witches who might want a fresh perspective.

I also have a post listing dozens of podcast episodes dealing with witchcraft and witches in a historical context, which I'm updating whenever I find new content. If you like your learning in an audio context, that might be something to try. I also highly recommend BS-Free Witchcraft, hosted by the fabulous @traegorn, since you have a particular interest in Wicca. Trae has lots of good information on the modern witchcraft movement, minus a lot of the usual bullshit. I also have a show called Hex Positive that examines modern witchcraft from a more secular angle. Both shows can be found on your favorite podcatcher or on the Nerd and Tie Podcast Network site. (We also have a Discord server, feel free to join us!)

I understand what you mean about encountering contradictory information. That's something that happens to every witch. Lots of so-called foundational texts are older books that may have some good information, but they also have outdated or problematic views on things like gender, history, and cultural appropriation.

The best thing you can do to help mitigate that confusion is to do your due diligence. If a new piece of information conflicts with something you already know, look further into it. Try to find a mundane academic source that talks about the same subject. If a witchy source says, "Dump mugwort in your tea to see visions," look up mugwort in a book on botanicals or herbal medicine to see if this is safe. (The answer is, "Not always, and there really needs to be warning label on mugwort for pregnant people or folks with allergies.")

I highly recommend Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler and The Triumph of the Moon by Ronald Hutton if you want a good thorough overview of modern witchcraft. Both are books (TOMES, really) on the history of the modern witchcraft and pagan movements, but Adler writes from the pagan perspective while Hutton writes from the view of an outside observer and historian.

Also, if you're hearing things from people on the internet and their ideas are conflicting, that's just something you'll need to get used to. Everyone's practice looks a little different and yours certainly will too. A lot of modern witchcraft carries some degree of Your Mileage May Vary. Just take things with a grain of salt and when in doubt, fact-check.

Oh and one more thing - don't believe anything you hear or read that directly cites Margaret Murray or talks about an "unbroken line" or secret surviving goddess cults or touts Wicca as an ancient religion. Anything that talks about "the Burning Times" or claims that millions of actual witches died during the heyday of witch trials is also suspect. All of this is revisionist history that either ignores or greatly embellishes the historical record.

Also, don't believe anyone who tells you that you "must" do this or that or believe such-and-such in order to be a "real witch." There is no prerequisite, no exam to pass, no mold to cram yourself into. You are a witch because you choose to be one, and you are a real witch from the moment you set your foot to the path, even before you cast a single spell, and you will continue to be one unless and until you decide to leave it.

Hope this helps! My inbox is always open for questions. Happy Witching!

#backseatofdeansimpala-05 #I also have three books available if you're interested in such things...#witchcraft #witchblr #baby witch #Advice for Beginner Witches #beginner witchcraft #Bree answers your inquiries

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spenciebabie · 3 years

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Thank you! Okay so I thought maybe you and Spencer could be playing a drinking game and he has to take a body shot (i so hope you know what i mean). So he does it and then begins to kiss your stomach and it ends with eating you out?🙊 I hope this is understandable, english is not my first language 😂😅

Oop, this one got long!

He was always so nervous around you, so you thought drinking might loosen him up. Even then it still took a while. But you were determined.

Sharing a hotel room was something you dreaded and looked forward to in equal measure.

Spending all of that time around Spencer was sort of enthralling, getting to see how he behaved when he was on his own, in his pajamas, sleepy first thing when he woke up. It was all a little more than your heart could take really. Having harbored a crush on him since pretty much your first day, all of that time never really helped. What did sort of help, was the way he never really took to you. He always seemed to avoid spending time alone with you if he could help it, even when you shared a room. He’d come back late, or get up early, usually pinning it on how distracting the case was.

But now that the case was over, you had one more night before the jet took off first thing in the morning. So he couldn’t really avoid you.

Hatching a plan you headed to a nearby store on the way back the hotel, grabbing tequila, salt, and lime. Waltzing into your shared room with confidence and determination to see Spencer sitting on his bed reading.

“Hey pretty boy” you greet him and he just responds with a tight lipped smile.

“Why don’t you put down that book for a few minutes and talk to me?” you ask, sitting on the edge of his bed, his eyebrows knit together in confusion for a minute before his expression softens.

“Are you sure?” he asks, placing his book on the nightstand, avoiding your gaze.

“Yeah I’m sure, you need to relax. I even got us something to help unwind” you giggle, dumping the contents of the bag onto the bedspread, and his eyes almost bulge out of his head.

“Is that- Are we allowed to drink?” he picks up the bottle to read the label as you take out a small pen knife to cut up the lime into segments.

“We’re adults Spence, what Hotch doesn’t know wont hurt him. And besides, I feel like we never get to hang out like this, just the two of us?” you test the waters and he seems to bite his lip, holding something back.

You hand him a wedge of the lime, and he holds it awkwardly in his hand awaiting further instructions, so you grab the salt and lean in licking a small stripe along the back of his hand like it’s no big deal. Pretending you don’t see the way it makes him tense. You sprinkle some of the salt along the stripe and pass him the opened bottle.

“You lick the salt, take the shot, and then the lime? Okay?” you ask and he doesn’t speak he just nods. Licking along the part of his hand you’d licked, downing a swig from the bottle and wincing just a little before sucking on the wedge of lime.

“Jesus” he gasps, “that tastes like gasoline” he shakes his head, ruffling the messy curls on top of it and you can’t help but watch.

“Yeah, that’s sort of the idea. My turn” you take the bottle from his hand and grab a wedge of lime when an idea hits you, stretching out one of your hands to Spencer you just say “Lick?” and he looks startled before he leans in and swipes his tongue across your hand, pouring some salt over it.

Then you proceed to take your own shot, stifling the little wince that overcomes you too.

It doesn’t take long before the alcohol hits both of you, nothing too harsh, just enough to have you softening a little.

“Why don’t we?” you ask unprompted, and he just looks at you confused.

“Sorry! Why don’t we hang out, just us two?” you pull your bottom lip between your teeth while you wait for a response, but he shakes his head.

“I’m gonna need a lot more of that before I can answer that question” he says in a sort of nervous chuckle as he points to the bottle of tequila. And for the first time you might actually know what’s going on inside Spencer Reid’s head. So you use it to your advantage.

“Have you ever done a body shot Spence?” you ask with a grin, and he looks puzzled.

“I don’t even know what that is”

You think on it for a minute before lying down on the bed, fingers steadily working on the buttons of your blouse.

“Wh- what are you doing?” he rushes out, covering his eyes and you giggle at him.

“I figured it would be easier to show you, experience is the best teacher don’t you think? If you’re okay with that of course?” you reach a hand out to land on his knee softly and his hands finally lower so that he can see you.

You’re splayed out on the bed with your blouse hanging open on either side of your torso, exposing your bra and the expanse of your stomach. His breath hitches at the sight and your suspicions are confirmed.

“It’s basically the same as what we just did, but instead you take the shot off of, well, me?”

“Are you sure?” he breathes, his chest rising and falling rapidly

“Mhmm, I want you to” you reassure him and he nods,

“Okay, what do I do?” he looks over your exposed skin like its the most spectacular thing he’s ever seen.

“You can pour the tequila into my bellybutton, and then lick along my stomach for the salt, and then I’ll hold the lime for you? Okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I can manage that” he says, following your instructions to the letter.

Then he’s leaning down over you, licking the salt off of your skin before taking the shot from your bellybutton. You delight in the feeling of his tongue and his lips against your bare skin and you have a thought. Taking the lime and placing it between your teeth as you wait for him to look for it.

He lingers along your stomach for just a second too long before he’s coming up for air, trailing up along your body to look for the lime and finding it balancing in your own mouth. He doesn’t even think twice, digging his teeth into the flesh and pulling it out of your mouth only to spit it out. And then he’s diving back in, crashing his lips to yours. You can taste everything on his tongue as it slides against your own and he moans into your mouth.

When you finally pull apart his eyes are half-lidded and his lips are pink and swollen.

“We don’t hang out because I’ve been afraid I was gonna do that since your first day” he breathes, his chest heaving as his eyes search your own.

“Well I’ve wanted you to do that since my first day” you smile up at him and he returns it right away.

“Well I’ve wanted to do a lot more than just that if we’re telling the truth here” he smirks, and there’s a newfound confidence to him now.

“What ‘more’ are we talking about here?” you ask, suddenly nervous and excited at the prospect that the night might not end here.

He silently trails down your body, littering kisses all along your exposed torso, making his way down to your skirt only to push it up your thighs. Further and further until he could see your panties. And then his head was diving in between your legs, licking swiftly up the soaked cotton of your underwear as you gasp.

He comes up for just a second to look at you.

“I think it might be easier to show you, experience is the best teacher, don’t you think?”

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #blurb #blurbs #imagine #anon #answered

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headheartbellarke · 3 years

Text

DISTRACTED | Charlie Gillespie

Requested by anon: “5 times reader (girlfriend) is almost distracted by a shirtless Charlie and one time she actually is.” PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x fem!reader WORDS: 1.6k WARNING(s): some charlie thirst, what’s new ;) SUMMARY: 4 times Y/N is almost distracted by her shirtless boyfriend and 1 time she actually is.

You pride yourself over the fact that you never get distracted, no matter what. But sometimes, just sometimes, you can’t help it.

Especially when your boyfriend looks like that.

You sigh, running a hand through your hair. Your eyes feel as if they are burning, and the ever-persistent headache of yours seems to be particularly intense today.

Yet, pushing all that tiredness away, you keep typing, typing, typing. The deadline for your essay that carries twenty per cent of your grade of your final year of college is tomorrow, and you’ve still got three hundred words to write.

Three hundred words does not seem like a lot on any other day, but after three cups of coffee and seven hours of staring at your laptop screen, it feels like death. The fact that you seem to be in a rut right now doesn’t help, either.

You scrounge around your brain, trying to pull ideas from each fold, but it’s useless. Maybe it’s the exhaustion, or maybe it’s because of your boyfriend, Charlie, who has currently resorted to painting your toenails after not getting any sort of attention from you for the past few hours.

Ever since lockdown started, you and your boyfriend have been living together in your shared apartment in Toronto. You two have been planning to move in together for a while, but his work and your college always seemed to be obstacles. But this lockdown gave you both the perfect opportunity – plus, it was time, too. You two have been dating for more than four years – although, you’ve had a crush on him for as long as you can remember, but the intensity of it was realized only in the moment when he kissed you after an amazing prom together – you guys went together because you were best friends and loved being around each other more than anything. But the fact that there could be something more, something hidden in years of friendship seemed unlikely to the both of you before that day.

“Done.” He says, proudly. Your eyes leave your screen to look at the beautiful emerald colour on your toenails. You smile at him, and say, “That’s gorgeous, Char. Where’d you find it?”

He shrugs, a lopsided smile on his face. “It was in the bottom of your bag.”

You nod. “Right. I bought it the day before my last offline exam ended. I forgot.”

He smiles. “Now, will you pay me some attention?”

You purse your lips and pretend to be thinking. “Hmm… tempting, but no. I still have to get this done.”

He groans, dramatically. “You have been ignoring me for past hundred hours!”

You chuckle, ruffling his hair. “You’re so dramatic. It’s only been half a day. Now, go away. I need to finish this.”

He groans, again, and you wonder if he’s finally given up.

Instead, he rolls off the bed, and stands taller, leaning against the doorframe. “Y/N?”

You hum in question, as he makes a show out of taking off his T-shirt.

You bite your lip and remember how long it has been since you’ve run your hands on his chest. But you know that he’s doing this on purpose, to get a fraction of your attention. He knows and is proud of the fact that he has a hold over you, and the fact that even after four years, he still gives you butterflies over the slightest of smiles.

So, instead of giving in, you crawl under your covers with your laptop and decide to work there, as you suddenly gain inspiration, and thank yourself for not being distracted by your boyfriend’s absolutely beautiful body.

“Oh, come on!”

The second time hit happens, it’s a Tuesday morning, and you’re giving an exam. Your laptop is in front of you, the face of your teacher and classmates filling your screen, as the sound of your pen scratching against your answer sheet fills the room.

You bite the end of your pen, pondering over a question when you suddenly hear your boyfriend’s voice. You look up, and notice him, shirtless, and talking on the phone to someone.

“Yeah, I mean, we could do that…” He says, and your eyes trail across his back, as he stares out the window on the wall opposite to you.

“No, Mom, we’re not gonna drive to Canada. I’m not that crazy!” He exclaims, and you arch your neck to get a better view of him, and the sweatpants hanging low on his hips.

“Sure, I can ask Y/N…” He says, and you quickly avert your eyes back to your paper, just in time to hear your teacher call out your name.

“Y/N? What are you looking at?” She asks, and you adjust your headphones, clearing your throat.

“I thought someone was at the door. Sorry, Ms. Harrington.” You’re painfully aware of the warmth spreading through your cheeks, and as she nods, you start writing again.

You hear Charlie whisper a ‘sorry’, and you smile at him – he thinks that the reason your teacher just called you out is because he was going to ask you something.

You don’t correct him – his ego doesn’t need to know the fact that you were almost distracted.

Just one more question, you think. One more question, and you’re done with this semester.

But your mind is wandering, and the fact that you still have thirty minutes left doesn’t help. When this exam started, you thought that you wouldn’t be able to finish it in time and wrote as fast as you could, but now there’s plenty of time and just one, tiny answer left.

You rest your elbows on your desk and check on your classmates. Everyone is frantically scribbling, and you smile evilly at the fact that you’re not one of them right now.

“Honey? You have a minute?”

You hear Charlie from behind you. You nod, and say, “I’m listening.” You don’t turn back, since you have to keep an eye on your teacher. (She is knitting right now, for some reason.)

“You wanna go somewhere for the holidays?” He says, his raspy morning voice causing goosebumps to appear on your skin.

“I’m not sure… I mean we just came back from Maui last month – do you think it’s wise to go somewhere again?”

“Well, we’ll maintain social distancing, and use masks.”

“I’m not sure…”

“Come on, it’s our fifth anniversary!”

You finally look at him, and your breath catches in your throat. He’s shirtless, as usual. You mentally curse him as you think that you need to add ‘no being shirtless for no reason’ to your household rules. (Currently, you have three: one, no disturbing the other while working; two, following the chore chart; three, no spilling coffee or red wine on the white living room rug.) (The last one has occurred more times than one might expect.)

You focus on keeping your eyes trained on his, but you still struggle to form words. “I – not a wise idea…”

He grins, understanding the situation, as you avert your eyes back to your paper.

“Please, baby?”

You know he’s pouting.

“Fine.” You say, just to get him off your back.

“You’re the best!” He presses a kiss to your cheek and is instantly gone. As your mind still tries to hold on to the frayed strings of the warmth and the smell of his presence, you pray that your classmates didn’t notice the interaction.

You smile at Charlie’s mother, who is talking animatedly on your phone.

“Then, I told Meg to get some sugar, but she bought salt instead, and to top that, she dumped the entire bowl into my batter! Now, it tastes like absolute shit!” She glares at Megan, Charlie’s sister, who smiles sheepishly from behind her.

You laugh. “Like brother, like sister.”

“You know it.” She says, her French accent thick.

“So, I was thinking… Maybe, after the holidays, we could fly back to Dieppe? It’s not like we’re gonna go to college any time soon, so –”

“Yes, please! I miss you guys so much. You know, last night –”

She starts to say something else, but your boyfriend is doing push ups in front of you, and it’s really, really, really hard to focus, especially when his body is glistening under the afternoon sun.

He seems to feel your gaze, and sharply turns towards you, while you quickly look back to his mother.

“–but the point is, I miss you two.” She finishes, while Megan nods. “Me too, sis. It’s so boring here without you two.”

You smile and can feel warmth in your stomach. “Of course. I miss you guys, too. Charlie’s so boring.”

“Hey!”

+1.

You exhale and close the lid of your laptop. “I’m done!” You yell, and Charlie instantly appears at the door, and runs towards the bed you’re currently seated on, and jumps atop.

“Finally! I missed you!” He says, wrapping an arm around your torso, pulling you closer.

“I missed you too, baby. But now I’m done with all my assignments, so I’m all yours for the next two weeks!” You sit on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He grins, and your eyes avert to his chest, but this time, you let yourself be distracted, because after weeks of sleep deprivation and pure torture, you deserve this.

You smile, connecting your lips, and run your hands on his chest. He smiles against the kiss, and you whisper, “I love you so much.”

“And I love you so much.”

as always feedback and reblogs are highly appreciated!

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