#and talk shakespeare with someone else who ALSO thinks it's ridiculous that anyone says 'he couldn't

[beholdthemem]

In between getting things done up at my grandparents' house, we've been talking with Granddad and occasionally learning some unexpected tidbits about family history. Like, I already knew both Granddad's father and stepmom were extremely involved in union work- the first time they met was in a UAW office!- but I did not quite realize to what extent.

"We had people come and visit a lot, and sometimes they'd stay for quite a while. There was one guy, when I was about seven, who stayed with us for some time- it wasn't until years later that I learned that was Roy Reuther, and Dad and Mom were hiding him because Henry Ford wanted him dead."

#personal #there is a photo somewhere of granddad as a little kid alongside my great grandparents- apparently this was at some kind of union related #event in atlantic city? huh. i never knew. #based on the information we've gotten from the doctors and tasha's friend the retired oncologist #it seems like things are early enough along that we have time to close accounts/whatever and spend time with granddad #but the locations of tumors mean don't get your hopes up. #it's... strange. #i know we're incredibly lucky to have been given enough time that we can do this *with* granddad and ask #how he wants things done- which cloud storage service to transfer his photos to #how he does the banking and how he'd like us to do it #insurance etc #we didn't get that with mom. it looked like she was doing better until suddenly she wasn't #and then in three days she was gone leaving us to sort out everything we hadn't had a chance to ask her opinion on #so i KNOW from *first hand experience* how uniquely lucky we are to have this opportunity #...but oh it feels so strange to listen to granddad give input on which funeral home would be best #and discuss at what point in time to take him off the car insurance #im still recording our conversations #i know i shouldn't but i like being able to listen back to what he has to say #and talk shakespeare with someone else who ALSO thinks it's ridiculous that anyone says 'he couldn't #POSSIBLY have written those plays himself he wasn't EDUCATED enough-' #there's a lot of happy things and sad things #it's all just... very bittersweet i guess.

[forthegothicheroine]

How other great detectives would solve the Chesapeake Ripper murders

A series I do sometimes.  For the purpose of this post, I will be assuming Hannibal does not have protagonist protection.  I will also do my best not to assume that any of these detectives have protagonist armor, either.

Columbo: Columbo is immediately suspicious when Hannibal says that he “transferred his passion for anatomy into the culinary arts.”  When Hannibal talks about his hobby of collecting news clippings about church collapses, Columbo knows for sure that only a serial killer would do that.  He keeps needling at Hannibal, being incessantly polite, asking a series of innocuous questions, mentioning that his wife has been urging him to go to therapy and can Hannibal tell him anything about that process?  Hannibal can tell he’s smarter than he seems, but doesn’t realize just how smart.  He’s also smart enough to finally come to arrest Hannibal with a full squad of burly guys with guns.  Columbo is also very sweet to Abigail and they write letters to each other after the case is over.

Phryne Fisher:  Phryne has an absolutely marvelous time investigating this case.  Hannibal takes her on dates to the opera and fine wine tastings and they have amazing sex.  She also almost has sex with Will Graham, but when he collapses on a chair and beings talking about all the troubles he’s been going through, including encephalitis symptoms, she ends up driving him to the hospital instead.  Between Will’s testimony about how Hannibal has been misleading him about his symptoms and her own secret swiping of keys, she becomes suspicious and investigates the murder house.  When Hannibal catches her, he promises that her death display will be the most beautiful one yet.  She shoots him non-fatally and he gets arrested.  (She may also be arrested for breaking and entering, but Hannibal can’t exactly claim stand-your-ground when he has a basement freezer full of body parts.)  Phryne also possibly sleeps with Alanna.

Sam Spade: I’ll be real here, Sam Spade is probably going to die.  His primary method is deliberately antagonizing people into giving him money, and Hannibal would absolutely put him in his ‘rude people’ recipe cards.  If Spade was clever, he left a dead man’s switch with Effie, and she goes to the police with the evidence folder when Spade’s body is found posed like a statue of a bird.

Sam Vimes: The moment Sam meets Hannibal he mentally classifies him as a vampire, even though he is not technically a vampire.  Hannibal keeps ‘forgetting’ and offering Sam food and drink with alcohol, talking about how harm reduction is much more viable than complete abstinence and generally trying to manipulate him into falling back down the addiction hole.  Sam gets brittle and suspicious in response.  Hannibal drugs him and tries to hypnotize him into believing he saw another character do the murders, but the Inner Watchman in Sam’s head comes to the rescue again and he slams Hannibal over the head with the nearest heavy art object.  Sybil still afterwards insists that Sam go to therapy to deal with his rage.

L: L wastes time going on dates with Hannibal and trying to trick him into implicating himself despite already having plenty of evidence, and Hannibal kills him and puts his head in a candy store.

Poirot: When Poirot attends dinner at one of Hannibal’s parties, he knows as soon as the meat touches his palette that it isn’t really rabbit.  He does his best to hide the fact that he isn’t eating, and whispers to Hastings to do the same.  When he finally has caught Hannibal in enough lies, he accuses him of murder while in a room with him, Will, Alanna, Abigail, Chilton, Able and Jack.  With so many witnesses, Hannibal maintains his cool and says that he’ll call his lawyer and see everyone in court.  When they actually investigate his house and find the human body freezer, Poirot faints.

Philip Marlowe: Every time Marlowe tries to bother Hannibal, the local cops drag him into the station and berate him for hassling a rich person.  He has long conversations with Hannibal when he does get him alone about great literature and the morality of Shakespeare characters.  Hannibal drugs him and tries to convince him he witnessed somebody else commit the murders, but Marlowe is so used to being drugged and seeing ridiculous things that he doesn’t trust any drug trip memories.  He is eventually able to catch Hannibal in the process of cleaning up after a murder, and both shoot each other.  Both survive and Hannibal gets arrested, but Hannibal taunts Marlowe that he will go the rest of his life never meeting anyone who understands him as well as he did.  Marlowe sadly agrees.

Dale Cooper: If Cooper does solve this case, it will take at least a season and a half.  It will be based less on evidence and more on Hannibal having dark energy and his name coming up when Cooper picks it out of a bag of ice cubes with initials carved onto them.  Abigail finally breaks down and confesses everything that’s happened to Cooper, and he tells her she’s not an evil person.  He and Hannibal shoot each other; both survive.  Hannibal goes to jail but continues to influence other people to commit murders from within jail.  Cooper ends up in a coma, and when he wakes up, he reports visions of a feathered stag telling him that he should look for new hair gel.

Kinsey Milhone: Kinsey inherently distrusts smug rich people, and no rich person is smugger than Hannibal.  She spends a lot of time talking to Abigail about their mutual family issues and becomes suspicious of how much her answers seem to have been worded ahead of time by Hannibal.  She tracks him and manages to find him while he’s in the process of cutting someone up.  They attack each other, and it’s pretty much a coin flip as to who survives.  If it’s Kinsey, the resulting story is called C is for Cannibal.

Miss Marple: Miss Marple thinks Hannibal dresses in such a lovely fashion, and he’s so sweet to invite her over for a glass of sherry.  She doesn’t attempt to look around his house or catch him in the act of murder or do anything dangerous, she just compares notes about what’s being said by him, Will and Abigail, and unravels a web of lies to find some definite conclusions.  Jack Crawford and the entire FBI are humiliated that a nosy old lady sitting in her living room figured everything out before they did.

#great detectives series

[ruzek-halstead]

meet me in the afterglow: first date

request from @felicitysmoaksx: i would like to see a continuation of the “i’m so stressed out during finals that i show up to the exam in my onesie and you tell me i look cute” university au. maybe like their first date?

read the original fic here

-

Luke and Julie ended up at a 24-hour diner a few minutes off campus. There was a light wind blowing through Julie's curls, and she was glad her onesie was so warm and fuzzy. Luke seemed perfectly at ease in his sleeve tank, but then again, she could feel his warm skin every time her wrist knocked against his arm. Her hand was still loosely clasped in his. She expected it to be slightly awkward; she had just met Luke and this was unlike anything she had ever done before. In her past four years of studies, she didn't have much time for a social life, much less a boyfriend. But there was no way she could've turned down his invite after the entirety of the situation.

When they reached the exterior of the diner, Julie spotted various empty booths. There were a few students who were quite obviously studying, what with their textbooks and highlighters strewn around the table, but it was generally quite empty. Even though it was relatively empty, Julie was still hit with a wave of anxiety with being seen in this onesie by everyone in the diner. It was dumb, she knew that; she had completed her exam in front of people with this onesie and even walked across campus with it. But for some reason, she couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling. When Luke moved forward to open the door, he stumbled back and realized Julie had stopped walking. Their intertwined hands pulled him to a stop. He noticed Julie's worried eyes and moved closer, ducking his own head to catch her gaze. "Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay?" God, Julie wanted to scream. This is not how their first date was supposed to be going. "This is going to sound weird," Julie laughed nervously. "But I'm feeling super self-conscious about this onesie right about now." Luke's facial features softened, and he stepped even closer. He let go of her hand to bring it up close to her face; Julie's breath hitched and he stopped his movements. "Julie, believe me when I say this, you look stunning in that onesie. Honestly, I’m too distracted with your beauty to even notice anymore.” Her brain was short-circuiting and no words were coming to mind. His green gaze was so captivating, she couldn't look away. But they were standing outside the diner and she had to do something. His hand that stopped mid-air dropped back down, outlining her arm through the onesie to intertwine their pinkies. Julie felt her knees begin to shake. She swallowed hard. “Well, I am pretty hungry.” That was the most her incapacitated brain could come up with currently, but the comment sent a brightening smile to Luke’s lips. “Great,” he added, once again pulling open the front door. Julie took a deep breath to regain her confidence. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought; it only mattered how she felt. And if she was being honest, she felt pretty damn good after hearing what Luke had to say. There was a sign at the front saying ‘seat yourself’ so Julie slid into a widow booth. Luke slid in across from her, his vibrant smile still on full display. It had been quite some time since Julie went on a first date. It was also pretty obvious that she was out of her element, but Luke seemed perfectly okay with taking the lead. “So, what’s your major, Julie?” He waited until their waitress came over to hand them menus and bring two glasses of water to ask his question. He was casually perusing the menu, but inside, he was dying to know more about this mysterious girl. “You mentioned something about an Evidence course?” Julie glanced up from her menu with a soft smile. She hadn't really gotten a chance to celebrate the fact that she was officially finished her major, (however, she couldn't think of a better way to celebrate than a date with an incredibly cute and caring guy). "I was in Criminology. That was my last exam ever, actually." Luke's eyes widened comically, a large grin spreading over his face. "Congratulations, that's amazing!" He cheered, reaching over to softly squeeze her wrist. "Wow, I should be taking you out to a five course meal — not this." Julie's eyes snapped up to meet his. He was grinning and he looked confident, but Julie could see the underlying insecurity beneath. It was intriguing to see, given how comfortable he had been since they'd met. "This is perfect," she replied evenly, meeting his eye with assurance. Luke matched her smile. The waitress came back to take their order, smiling knowingly at the adorable couple. Luke ordered a chocolate milkshake with a cheeseburger and fries, while Julie also ordered a chocolate milkshake and a chicken caesar wrap with sweet potato fries. “Perfect. I’ll put that order in right away and it’ll be out soon,” their waitress assured them with a bright smile. “What about you?” Julie asked, straw between her lips. She didn’t miss the way Luke’s eyes flickered down for a nanosecond; it gave her all the confidence in the world. “Your major?” Luke took a moment longer to reply (yes, he was composing himself, what about it?). “I’m actually a music major.” Julie’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Oh, really?” “Yeah. I was just taking that course as a filler,” he explained. “That was my final exam too.” Julie’s face lit up in excitement. “Doesn’t it feel great?” “Unbelievable,” he chuckled. “A little scary because what the hell am I supposed to do now?” Julie’s smile dimmed a bit. She was in the same boat and she had been avoiding thinking about it for as long as possible. However, she was still young and there was always the possibility of going back to school (although, her current outfit and mental stability would argue against that). “But we’re not going to think about that right now,” she replied with a coy smile. Luke opened his mouth to rebut, but he was instead distracted by the mouthwatering scent of their food arriving. He was mesmerized, but Julie was straight up emotional about it; she truly thought she might cry. “Oh God,” she mumbled, her senses completely overloaded. “It’s been so long since I’ve had proper food. Does coffee count as a food?” Luke was already shoving fries into his mouth. “Definitely not,” he replied through a full mouth. It definitely wasn’t first date etiquette but Julie was so hungry, she couldn’t be bothered to notice. Not that she cared anyway, she was quickly gnawing down her wrap, nearly forgetting to breathe. Once Julie was satisfied that her hunger was appropriately satiated and she could finally multi-task again, she took a sip of her milkshake and turned her attention to Luke once again. “So, music. How’d you get into it?” Luke was momentarily surprised at the question, but he was more than happy to speak about it. Music was everything to him; he could talk about it all day. “Honestly, it kind of just happened. A cousin of mine used to have a guitar and we taught ourselves to play.” “Are you any good?” Julie meant it to come out teasingly, but it really ended up sounding more flirty than anything. “Maybe you should find out.” Luke very easily matched her tone and Julie found herself sweating before him. “How do you propose I do that?” Well, she may as well continue with the ruse. She had leaned forward in the booth, resting her chin in her hand. “Lucky for you, I have a band.” Julie’s brain immediately stopped all function. He was attractive, he had amazing biceps, he was sweet and respectable and he was in a band? “You — you’re in a band?” Julie cringed at the obvious fumble in her words. He can’t just drop that on her and expect her to be okay though. An unconscious smile spread across his features. “My best friends and I are in a band. We try to play gigs whenever we can; you know, exposure.” “Oh — you play gigs,” Julie swallowed. God, her throat was dry. “Does that mean you have original songs?” Luke nodded again; he looked so excited. “My band calls me the Shakespeare of songwriting. Can’t help myself.” Julie’s brain started screaming at her again: HE WRITES SONGS. Julie grabbed her glass of water and drained it halfway. “That’s awesome. Uh — so, are you the guitarist?” “Lead guitarist,” he smirked with pride. “I’m also the lead singer.” Julie squeezed her water glass so tight, her knuckles turned white. Luke’s eyes dropped to her hand and his smirk only widened. He was full-on torturing her now and he knew it. “How the hell are you even real?” Julie was never known for her subtlety. Luke should know that by now since she basically went off on him in the exam room already anyway. He wasn’t, however, expecting that random question. His eyebrows rose in surprise, but Julie didn’t elaborate. Instead, she seemed to be almost glaring at him. He laughed, a hint of nervousness in his tone. “Excuse me?” “You’re a guitar player in a band, you write songs and you sing them. You’re ridiculously sweet and kind and I haven’t seen any red flags yet, which is literally unbelievable nowadays. You’re somehow interested in me and you’re ridiculously hot. There must be something else going on here because there is no way in hell that this is real.” Luke could only blink at her. He took a moment to mull over his next words before he relayed them with a frown. “If you’re impressed by my kindness, which should just be basic human behaviour, then men clearly need to do better.” Julie bit her lip as she sighed. “Sorry. That was a lot. I just mean—” Luke interrupted. “You seem to be really surprised that someone like me could be interested in you and I just don’t understand,” he explained, brows furrowed together. “What you and I see is clearly different. I see someone intelligent and dedicated enough to her studies to block out everything else and get it done. I see someone beautiful, no matter what they're wearing. I see someone who doesn't think as highly of themselves as they should because I've only known you a few hours and that's enough for me to know that I want you in my life." Now it was Julie's turn to blink. "Sorry," Luke popped out a smirk, "That was a lot." "Listen," Julie breathed, openly avoiding eye contact as she started her explanation. "I'm not, nor have I ever been, that successful in the dating department. This," she motioned between her and Luke, "Has never happened to me before and I'm not entirely sure how to handle it. So, I'm sorry if I'm butchering this." Luke instantly reached forward to grab her hand. "You're not." "Are you sure?" She laughed nervously. "I've given you more than one reason tonight to think I'm certifiably insane." Luke looked up from their conjoined hands with an earnest smile. "I hate to break it to you, but it's going to take a lot more than that to drive me away." Julie considered it for a moment. "You know what, I'm okay with that." "Good," he laughed. He stood up from the booth. "I'll be right back." Julie took this opportunity to momentarily reflect. In the span of twenty-four hours, she had gone through a range of emotions like something she'd never experienced before. But she had successfully completed her exams, and thus, completed her major. She could now take a break from school and decide how she wanted to proceed. Somehow the worst week of her life ended up as one of the best. Luke returned a few moments lately, shoving his wallet back into his back pocket. "Alright, we're all squared away. You ready to go?" Julie nodded with a smile, easily following him outside. "Thanks for the meal, Luke. I needed it." "Of course." He was unable to lose the grin from his face. "Hey, is it alright if I get your number?" Julie almost tripped over herself in taking out her cellphone from the pocket of her onesie. They exchanged phone numbers with a smile. "I live just around the corner over there," Julie motioned with her index finger. "But tonight was great, and I had a lot of fun." Luke's eyebrows furrowed together. "Oh, that's great. But I'm walking you home." "You don't need to do that," she replied automatically. "I want to." Well, Julie couldn't dispute that. Luke once again reached for her hand and Julie led the way. She knew it would be an exceptionally short walk, but he kept the conversation going for all of it. It felt like he couldn't get enough of talking to her and it seriously made Julie's heart squeeze with affection. When they reached the doorstep of Julie's building, she turned to him with nervous eyes. "I would love to take you out again," Luke murmured quietly. The energy around them had suddenly changed and Julie was hyper aware of his thumb stroking her palm. "I would love to see your band," she replied, because honestly, she still hadn't gotten that image out of her head. An immediate grin broke out on Luke's face. "Then it's decided," his eyes softened once again as he took a step down. "Get some sleep, Julie. Celebrate your achievements by forty-seven hours of sleep." "You know what?" Julie threw her head back in a laugh. "I think I just might." His eyes were sparkling as he observed her laughing. It was the best sight he'd seen in ages. Julie could see his hesitation and decided he'd done enough already (especially through her multiple freak-outs over the course of the day). With his small step down, he was finally at her height. She took a small step forward and pulled him closer with a soft hand of the back of his neck. She met his wide eyes as she moved closer and pulled a smile as she pressed her lips dangerously close to his lips. She kept her hand where it was and only moved back to glance in his eyes. His own hand slid behind her back and she savoured every moment of his touch. No words were needed. All they needed was the mere presence of each other. Julie finally pulled away, throwing a shy smile in his direction. "Goodnight, Luke." He was grinning the widest she'd seen since they met. "Goodnight, Julie."

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #juke #juke fics #jatp fics #juke au #jatp au #luke patterson #julie molina #julie x luke #luke x julie

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

do you think zuko treated mai fairly? i mean... why didn't he trust her to tell her his deepest thoughts when he abandoned her in the fire nation? i know he loved her but i don't understand why he didn't just tell her instead of hurting her unnecessarily. they're cute but i find it so hard to get past this, i would be so hurt if my bf didn't tell me something so important. and then mai just. forgives zuko so easily even after he locked her in a cell still not trusting her. mai deserves better :(

It’s kind of funny you ask this, because I lowkey have a lot of feelings about the phrase “x deserved better than y”. For one, I’m always cautious around it, because in the A:TLA fandom I’ve seen it thrown around in two main ways:

“Katara deserved better than Aang!” followed by the most ridiculous slander labelling Aang as abusive, toxic, manipulative, etc. (Funnily enough, though, a lot of those people will also go and ship T.aang. Like T.aang is an Excellent ship, do not get me wrong, but it’s clear they just say ‘Katara deserved better’ because they hate K.ataang and don’t necessarily care one way or the other about Aang.)

“Zuko deserved better than Mai!” followed by the most obnoxious bullshit also labelling Mai as abusive, toxic, manipulative, etc. and even - I kid you not - saying she’s “too ugly” for Zuko. At worst, racist; at best, shallow. (And again, funnily enough, a lot of them will then ship M.ailee, again proving they don’t really care one way or another about Mai, they just hate M.aiko.)

Now, I’m not getting into the K.ataang vs Z.utara vs M.aiko ship wars, lmao, but those are the two primary ways that rhetoric is used. It’s kind of embarrassing, tbh, how fandom tends to use the phrase to discredit pairings and demonize characters instead of… you know. Moving on with their lives, lol.

But your ask fascinates me, anon, because you bring up the point of Zuko not trusting Mai, thus leading to the conclusion of “Mai deserves better than Zuko.” Which is interesting, because as I just mentioned, for most people who follow the “x deserves better than y” phrase, it tends to be used the other way around!

Firstly, however, I want to say that you don’t have to ship Maiko. You can read my explanation and walk away still feeling exactly the same way about Mai and Zuko’s relationship (love it, hate it, indifferent to it, all that jazz), and that’s totally okay! But I’m going to do my best to explain what’s off with the rhetoric of “x deserves better than y,” specifically regarding Maiko. My thesis, as it were?

It’s not about “deserve.”

Disclaimer: This obviously does not refer to genuinely unhealthy/abusive relationships. I shouldn’t have to say that, but we all know how Tumblr is. I digress.

Love isn’t about “deserve.” At first glance, that’s kind of a confusing take, isn’t it? Don’t we all “deserve” someone who will respect us, appreciate us, and treat us well? Of course we do! But those are just qualities of any healthy relationship. When I say that love isn’t about “deserve,” I mean that love can’t be simplified quite so easily. Here is a definition of “deserve”:

“do something or have or show qualities worthy of (reward or punishment)”

How do we make ourselves “worthy” of love? I (an optimist) don’t think we do. Love isn’t about worthiness; I believe we are all “worthy” of love simply by existing. Instead, I argue that love is about openness. It’s not about if we “deserve” love or not, but rather if we allow ourselves to be open to it.

All of this is to say that it’s not about whether or not Mai “deserves” or “deserves better than” Zuko; it’s that she is open to receive love from him, and he from her. She wants to love and be loved by Zuko. No one else. She says it to Azula herself: “I love Zuko more than I fear you.” Mai chooses Zuko, full stop, just as Zuko chose her by a) doing everything in his power to keep her out of his betrayal of the Fire Nation (why would he risk putting a death sentence on her head, too?) and b) reuniting with her happily at the end of the show (i.e. he didn’t brush her off; he smiles his widest smile in the entire show during that scene!). So it’s not about “deserve.” It’s about these two kids loving and finding love in one another. A Shakespeare quote is particularly relevant here:

“Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.” (Twelfth Night – Act 3, Scene 1)

We are all looking for love, be it romantic or platonic or anything in-between, and there is no better feeling than we receive love even when we feel we don’t “deserve” it. Mai is willing to work with Zuko to make their relationship work despite his mistakes, because it’s not about if he “deserves” her, but because she knows he is willing to grow and improve (and she is, too).

Also, within the series of A:TLA (specifically towards the middle-end of Book 3), it can be concluded that Zuko believes that he is no longer “worthy” of Mai’s love. That he doesn’t “deserve” her love because of how he abandoned her (and she is the only thing about the Fire Nation he regrets leaving behind). Mai disagrees with him. She is open to a relationship with Zuko because she loves him for an infinite number of reasons (one being that he does what is right, including going against the Fire Nation, even if she did not at first understand). When Zuko realizes this by the time the finale comes around, they reconcile in a tender embrace.

And what reason are we ever given to doubt Mai regarding whether or not she “deserves” better than Zuko? Mai is perfectly aware of her own worth. She breaks up with Zuko in “The Beach” because his behavior is inexcusable and she knows that she doesn’t have to put up with it. Even in the comics, which are handled poorly, I don’t entirely hate the Maiko breakup because again, Mai knows that she does not have to be responsible for Zuko’s well-being. She loves him, she loves him so much, and she tries to help him, but she is not his therapist. So again, why should we doubt Mai? Going back to the A:TLA finale - Mai knows what she “deserves” and what she doesn’t. She knows what she will and what she won’t put up with. And after everything, she is still open to a relationship with Zuko. Because love isn’t about “deserve,” and it never has been.

To address your other questions:

why didn’t he trust her to tell her his deepest thoughts when he abandoned her in the fire nation? i know he loved her but i don’t understand why he didn’t just tell her instead of hurting her unnecessarily.

You almost answer your question yourself, anon. “[H]is deepest thoughts”? Who tells anyone their “deepest thoughts”? We actually talked about this in my Shakespeare class (I know, right? lmao). A very common trope in Shakespeare’s tragedies is a lack of communication. We all read Romeo and Juliet and Othello and were like “dude, if they had just talked to each other, none of those bad things would have happened!!” (and thus those tragedies might have been comedies).

My professor agreed with us. Then he asked, well, why do you think Shakespeare doesn’t have anyone communicate?

One brave soul said, “That’d be too easy.”

Which is… almost right. Perhaps, narratively, it would be too easy. The plays would definitely be resolved much faster. But the truth? It’s too hard. People don’t communicate clearly in real life. They hide certain things because they’re embarrassed, they’re ashamed, they’re afraid. Even couples who’ve been together for years will admit that they don’t tell each other everything, for whatever reason. People are imperfect, and thus their relationships are, too.

(Slightly amusing sidebar: Macbeth and Lady Macbeth are actually an example of a perfect couple, because Macbeth confides everything to Lady Macbeth in Act 1. And, well, we all know how that went down[hill], lmao.)

So why didn’t Zuko tell Mai the truth when he was leaving the Fire Nation? He was afraid! He says it himself in “The Boiling Rock”: “Everyone in the Fire Nation thinks I’m a traitor. I couldn’t drag her into it.” Zuko is afraid of what might happen to Mai! He knows the Fire Nation now has a price on his head - why would he wish that on Mai? It’s bad enough that she’s the (former) girlfriend of a traitor! How much worse might it have been for her if she’d been associated with him after he’d threatened the Fire Lord’s life*? I’m not saying this to excuse Zuko’s decision, because perhaps Mai would have agreed to join him (although we cannot conclude this with total certainty), and I certainly think breaking up by text letter was a pretty crappy way to go about it, but all the same, he was trying to protect her. When Mai realizes this, what does she do?

Saves his ass from Azula and utters one of the most iconic lines in the entire series.

*Also, a kind of interesting parallel presents itself between Zuko and Hamlet here, lmao. One interpretation of Hamlet’s “get thee to a nunnery!” scene with Ophelia is reading it as him trying to cut ties with her in the cruelest way possible so she wouldn’t try to follow him and possibly get hurt as he killed Claudius (aka regicide, the highest crime in Denmark). While it’s arguable that Zuko isn’t quite so perceptive, lmao, there is the possibility that Zuko thought breaking up with Mai in such a callous way would help prevent her from remaining attached to him and thus getting mixed up in his mess (killing the Fire Lord, aka the A:TLA equivalent of regicide, the highest crime in the Fire Nation). Just something to ponder!

and then mai just. forgives zuko so easily even after he locked her in a cell still not trusting her.

I don’t know if I’d call her forgiveness “easy.” Making the decision to betray Azula? That’s hard. Mai was signing herself up for a death sentence, because Azula doesn’t take prisoners (Aang can testify to this, lmao). If Ty Lee hadn’t been there, Mai almost certainly would have died. So yeah. I wouldn’t call her forgiveness “easy,” anon. I think it’s one of the scariest choices she ever made.

Of course, one can argue that Mai’s true forgiveness of Zuko actually came later, which I don’t necessarily disagree with. I think Mai’s initial instinct was to trust Zuko because she knows him better than perhaps anyone (thus she realizes he wouldn’t walk away from the Fire Nation without true cause), hence her betrayal of Azula. When she survived because of Ty Lee’s chi-blocking (since honestly, Mai probably didn’t think she’d get that far) and was ultimately imprisoned, I bet she had plenty of time to think about Zuko and her relationship with him. Working on that presumption, again, I don’t think I’d call her forgiveness “easy,” because she likely took several days if not weeks to process everything.

Also, you say Zuko doesn’t trust her because a) he didn’t inform her of what he was doing when he left the Fire Nation and b) he locked her in a cell at the Boiling Rock. I understand that perspective, but again, I go back to this line: “Everyone in the Fire Nation thinks I’m a traitor. I couldn’t drag her into it.” Does that sound like someone who doesn’t trust Mai? I think the better description is that Zuko feared for Mai, as I mentioned earlier. Did he lock her in a cell because he thought she’d betray him, or because he thought it was the last thing he could do to protect her when everything went to shit as he, Sokka, Suki, and etc. were all escaping from prison? Could it have been a little bit of both? We can’t say for sure, of course, but given how happy Zuko was around Mai in “Nightmares and Daydreams,” I think his love for her ultimately outweighed his worries about Mai’s ties to Azula, which leads me to conclude his locking her in a cell was less about distrust and more a final, last-ditch attempt at keeping her out of his mess.

Plus, Zuko has issues. Mai knows this. She loves him all the same for it. As I said earlier, she is open to giving love to and receiving love from Zuko. I think it’s a bit of a discredit to Mai’s character to assume she forgave him easily. And besides! She told him herself: “But don’t ever break up with me again.” Mai implicitly tells him hey, don’t pull that BS again, and Zuko gives her an embarrassed smile before they hold each other in a gentle, loving embrace. It’s not a direct statement, and maybe that puts some people off from it, but Mai is firmly implying that she wants him to trust her more, and Zuko acknowledges this (and he’s rightfully a little embarrassed that he kept her out of it, since hindsight is 20/20 and he now understands she probably would have gone with him; do remember, of course, that he had no way of knowing that initially).

do you think zuko treated mai fairly?

Well, how do we define “fairly”? I guess the short answer is no, he didn’t, but what other choice did he believe he had at the time? Answer: none. It was either keep Mai out of it and guarantee her safety or drag Mai into it (which Zuko likely saw as a selfish option, i.e. what right did he have to pull his girlfriend into treason just because he didn’t want to lose her company?) and risk losing her. As viewers, we know there’s more to the situation than that, but Zuko doesn’t have our luxury. So his decision to keep Mai out of it and thus try to protect her? I would call that a “fair” assessment, yes.

And besides, anon:

“The course of true love never did run smooth.” (A Midsummer Night’s Dream - Act 1, Scene 1)

Mai and Zuko chose each other. Who are we to deny them their happiness?

#yes i WILL quote shakespeare 24/7 and what about it? #maiko #mai #zuko #avatar the last airbender #atla meta #atla #atla mai #atla zuko #atla analysis #the boiling rock #amy answers #amy analyzes #anon #adding line break after i post btw!!

[jiminrings]

honestly i could talk w band!hobi abt numbers all day, like i wouldn't even mind. what are ur thoughts on 27 hobi? i think they a bad bitch. also UM might i request a drabble abt like a film major! yn (that is very enthusiastic abt films and the aesthetics + cinematography and whatnot) w like,,, a theatre kid?? any of ot7 works fine and it's all good if u can't or don't want to! thankyouu 💜

muse of mine

pairing: namjoon x y/n

wordcount: 4k

glimpse: namjoon’s always been a little sensitive to feedback whether it’s positive or negative, y/n’s an endearing type of talker, and smuggled snacks to the theater haven’t ever tasted this sweet :D // gif from pinterest!

notes: i kinda switched it up a lil bit and made them more established in their respective fields bc my mind went berserk on this concept!!! also this is mayhaps my oNLY piece that’s just pure fluff

“27? The number? Hmm. That sounds... sexy.” - band!hobi

this been’s bugging you for the past half hour

this whole experience feels oddly familiar

you’ve been in this theater for half an hour so far to watch this play!!

lmao ur gonna admit RIGHT off the bat that theatre’s definitely not it for you

your slight unfondness for it is deeply-rooted back to university and for four years, you’ve consistently taken dumps on theatre kids even if it’s under your breath

alright it’s possible that you don’t hATE the actual people ( only some of them ;D ) themselves but rather this whole type of cockiness and the “i’m a direct descendant of shakespeare himself. trust me bro. on god” energy that they always seem to exhude

but realistically, maybe this deep-rooted hate stemmed from seokjin

he was the guy you’d share the exact same elective class with him for two straight whole semesters and you’ve been seatmates from time to time

homie took foreign language as an elective?????

the language is korean?????????????????

“wait b-but i — aren’t you — n-no but i really???”

that’s what you first sputtered to him in realization when he took his seat beside you

the two of you have only ever shown each other notes bc the other was dozing off and the occasional sharing of gummy bears that’s already pre-opened to not make any noise

but for some reason, it’s only dawned in you why seokjin’s a god in this class and he answers your questions without even looking at his notes by hALFWAY through the whole semester of foreign language

one day, u are gonna find a way to bodyslam yourself and never recover from it ever again

“mhmm. don’t sweat it, sweetheart. i personally think it’s very don quixote of me to y’know, take something as impractical and amusing as this.”

you snort at his choice of words because honestly!! you barely remember don quixote and jin’s use of it as an adjective jigs up a refresher course on your brain

who was he again?? 

was he the donkey

.. or are you thinking about shrek again because of your film analysis

you sWEAR there was a donkey in that story

it’s good fun to talk with jin even if he keeps sliding bourgeoisie words here and there and you’re a lil confused with all these references that he makes but that’s okay !!!

atleast even him saying it in a long-winded way that he was like someone from the merchant of somewhere, you know now that he pretty-pleased and charmed his way to the registrar for him to take korean as an elective

...

two weeks later, jin sits next to you in class 

in ACTUAL non-elective, non-native language he already speaks class

now that you’re squinting a bit more, jin does look a little uh?? different

his hair that was once a hybrid of lavender and peach and pink and then blonde was now wholly black and it’s probably his original hair color because it matches with those eyebrows of his!!!

his combo of a black bomber jacket with a silk button-up underneath honestly SLAPS and it makes you forget how he used to exclusively wear only knitted shirts and argyle-patterned cardigans

you have ur jaw dropped because you totally would’ve fallen for seokjin jAW-FIRST 

— if only he didn’t strike you as the brother type when he smacked the back of your head because you were falling asleep on class again and uhhh you mUst be forgetting that the two of you were sitting in front

you had no time to reevaluate whether you should develop a crush for him or not 

he’s immediately slapping his hands on his knees, looking at you so intensely before pointing a finger at you with so much conviction, and then scoffing to himself

“switched majors to film. theatre was gonna be the death of me!!! y/n, if you even think about trying to switch to that cheap, amazon-ordered quill and tanning lights for stage lighting major, you’re absolutely dEAD to me-”

you’ve never had a conversation this striking nor long with jin but you genuinely have no complaints at all

seokjin talks pure shit about theatre and theatre junkies and everything in between for the WHOLE day 

trails beside you for every single class you had, which was convenient because he can then sweet-talk his way again (if anybody even dared to question him) that he’s just newly-switched 

sat with you for lunch and him not eating because he just needS to tell you all about it and you trying not to choke on your pasta as you try to reply to him

followed you back hOME and decided to crash the night there

yeah, that. your unfondness for theatre’s rooted on that one

uh-huh safe to say that you’ve become best friends with jin ever since that day

you’re a sponge for your friends and jin’s the closest one you have, so it was only natural that you soak up his distastes and whatnot

not to brag but aha :D

you add salt to the water while you boil pasta so u may be a little bit of a masterchef or somewhat, no big deal :D

he’s absorbed your fascination for all kinds of lights and fixtures that he has about seven different nightlights in the form of squishies or neon and everything else on his bedside table, in which he turns all of them on at night

fun fact: he’s capable of sleeping in the dark

jin’s the whole reason for your stance on this

he’s adamant about his points and you’ve graduated uni four years ago!!!

which is why you DON’T get why jin would give you a scented black envelope, with “don’t come to this” scribbled in gold at the front, carrying a single ticket to this play with a sticky note saying “don’t watch this at 7 pm, wearing your boss lady year-end award show type of clothes, sitting at the ninth row from the back and two seats from your right.”

because of course!! what the hell did he expect you to do? NOT come to this play at 7 pm wearing your boss lady year-end award show type of clothes then sitting at the ninth row from the back, two seats from the right???

OF COURSE YOU WOULD

your goal in life is to do exactly the opposite of what jin tells you. there’s literally nothing else in life you’d want to fulfill

he’s made it quite easy for you to spite him and although you wouldn’t admit it.,,.,., you may be a little petty ok

he’s the even bigger goof out of the two of you and you can never have the final say!! it’s always him and his wit and yOU being the dunce

it’s a lil sus that jin’s basically ASKING for it with his instructions but whatever

whatever it is, this is finally your chance to enact the final say and you’re gonna pull ALL the stops

all you know about theater-goers is that they dress fancy and wear these mini binoculars and that’s about it

there’s not even one film you know that you see anyone in the audience wearing a worn-in cardigan or even a puffer jacket even if the theater’s mad cold

all the people bring are scarves and shawls???? thee thinnest version of a blanket that won’t warm them up against the frigid airconditioning

that whole dress code sounds ridiculous!!! great please ring out this thousand-dollar dress im gonna wear to the theater thank u

you’re a little worried that you’re not gonna blend into the crowd, but after some digging about the invitation, formal wear is most definitely recommended

it’s an exclusive invite-only play which would be later released to the general public later on so yeah the situation dOES call for a gown thank u very much

also how could you forget that jin explicitly told you not to wear this type of attire

if you’re being humble right now, which you always normally are, even if that jUST sounded boastful talking about how you’re humble all the time —

you do look pretty breath-taking :-)

even when the doors weren’t opened and everyone’s just collectively loitering outside the hall, you’d feel glances at you

the sweet security guard did a double-take at you and mumbled a “very very nice evening to you, miss :D” instead of his normal “enjoy the show!” to the other patrons before you

you’re gonna soak all the silent compliments up and try to remember all of them before writing them on your journal later hee-hee

your midnight blue satin dress that’s floor-length and off-shoulder is dEFINITELY in your favor :D

your dress still glimmers even if the spotlight isn’t on you and you wish you weren’t shy to ask a random stranger to take a picture of you

going on self-timer isn’t ideal either when there’s like a hundred other people in the room

they probably wouldn’t even care if you took a picture of yourself!!! but in your head they probably think that you’re laughable so you’d rather not.. do that

the theater’s dark as hell if that wasn’t established

it is literally pitch black in the room and the ushers at each row holding the flashlights that are meant to guide the patrons aren’t exactly helpful

big kudos to them though,, must take a lot of self-control to not wave their lights like it was a rave :D

a flashlight tHAT bright?? whew pls is this what ships feel in the night

the last time you were in a rave, your thirty minutes of fun was cut short when seokjin immediately got hammered and wouldn’t stop throwing a fit if you didn’t drive him home that instant

his energy seemed to compelling everyone that he’s managed to somehow suck the energy out of a WHOLE rave so you took him home for everyone’s enjoyment :(((( except yours apparently

you’re trying hard to focus on the play that’s happening because for the past twenty minutes, all you’ve done is zone out randomly with ideas all of a sudden 

you NEED to listen

....

uh-huh...

UH-HUH......

wait this is actually.. good

you find plays hard to follow and absolutely boring when you don’t immerse yourself in a run-down PRIOR to watching it in order to get

it’s the same analogy as reading the plot of a movie on wikipedia before watching the movie at the cinema.... absolutely useless

it sucks out the fun from something you weren’t supposed to know

watching plays is two hours of you being confused, going home to read the plot and only understand it by tHEN, and never coming to the theater again because you’d waste your money.... watching something cluelessly in the theater..... for a plot you’d grasp at home

but no

because this one

actually this one that you’re watching...

it’s not bad

it’s nice, actually.

within two minutes, you managed to grasp that it’s a story about a never-ending spring between these two lovers

there’s something about the whole setting of it actually that just sucks you in

in some plays, the outfits would seem so forced even in the given context that it reminds you of uh a particular superhero movie

and yes ur aware that stage makeup has to be enhanced so that people all the way to the back row would see

but there’s just something in this scene that’s laid out right-now that actually gets you in awe

it’s of the couple in the back of their pick-up truck and everything about it seems so natural

the background straight up looks like what it’d be if you were to go outside

the guy’s arm around her shoulder seems so natural and in nature that it doesn’t feel like a random cue in the script

the girl twinkles and it doesn’t even feel like a forced type of laugh you’d cue in attempt to warm the audience’s hearts

it’s of a plot where the the guy eventually falls out of love with the girl, while girl gets even more smitten with the guy at the same time

it’s what you take from the past ten minutes that you watch in dead silence, and you don’t even remember in the back of your head that you’re supposed to hate plays

“no way.”

you mumble in disbelief under your breath, head shaking profusely

is your mind playing tricks on you???

you’ve got too used to seokjin sitting beside you that you immediately turn to your right, whispering out your concerns 

“is it just me or is she wearing a different shade of pink?”

you don’t even buffer for one second when you ask the stranger beside you

you’re so concerned that you’re looking at him intently while waiting for his answer that could either console or despair you, a random theater-goer that’s too noisy with her questions for her own good

it’s absolutely dARK as fuck in the theater but after awhile your eyes adjusted slightly

and the first thing you look at after the stage is him

him as in the dude in your right that you just asked all of a sudden

you could only see his silhouette and the faintest features of his face along with his well-dressed suit but god

... you are totally not lying if you say that even the barest silhouette of him doesn’t look handsome

you’re expecting him to tell you off for being so noisy but instead, he’s the one who takes you by surprise

“how did you notice that?” 

:O

“oh my god!” you exclaim almost too loudly that you yourself even jolts, the guy even making you duck with him slightly for a brief second, “im sO sorry!! am i accidentally spoiling it out for you?”

the guy blinks twice, lips slightly parted before shaking his head no

“no, no... this is the first screening — i mean uh, how would you know that?”

oh boy

you’re adjusting yourself on your seat, bum now warm as you try to explain and not be nervous because what if you just made a wrong assumption about this play and you’re sitting next to a goddamn tHEATRE BUFF???

“well i —uh, uhm what’s your name?” you’re flustered and the FIRST thing you ask is what was his name.,.,,

he seems equally as flustered before he adjusts his glasses, “o-oh uhm i’m namjoon...?”

alright! handsome guy is namjoon!

“you see, namjoon — okay it might just be in my head, but i tHINK it looks deeper with the light somehow. but uh...? the spotlight’s not following her and — is it just me or without the light, her sweater looks brown?”

you’re squinting and if u squint even more, maybe your contacts would just crumple by then

hold on a second

“brown, like — oh my gOD LIKE-”

namjoon puts a hand over his mouth before you could even gasp, hand reaching out for your forearm even before you manage to grasp his shoulder to take it in realization

was it under your nose the whole time??

“... fall.”

:D

holy fucking shit

namjoon looks positively euphoric looking at your face of realization, his once-heavy chest about the whole scene becoming completely devoid of weight

“exactly!!”

his confirmation makes you inwardly squeal, grinning as you point at him and the stage back and forth

“i think this is the first play i’ve become ever interested in watching.”

okay what now

his ears perk up at that, your first sentence that you’ve said after your pink sweater that looks like spring also looks brown like fall in certain scene because of the lighting realization

“it is?”

he takes the chance to look at you as best as he could, trying to play his squinting as cool as he can

namjoon’s far sighted and the glasses he’s wearing are nOT up to date with his current grade bc he’s pretty sure his eyesight’s worsened the past month

he can’t make you out wholly, but he does know that you’re pretty

his eyes don’t linger on you because of the snacks you’re fishing from your purse while you talk that are absolutely illegal in this theater house lmao

but instead, his gaze lingers on you because you’re so pretty

the minimal light that’s bouncing off the stage is enough for him to see a faint outline of your features, highlighting your smiles just right and your dress to glint underneath

“mhmm. i actually hate plays,” suddenly, you’re not scared if namjoon happens to be some sort of theatre buff and you’re offending him because honestly, you feel at ease. “crunch?” you’re holding out the mini bar of chocolate out to him, one he politely declines to because his eyes are bulging out the next second

“you do????”

his genuine reaction indulges you, making you grin ultimately that you put off eating snacks for now to focus on him

“yeah! this is my hate outfit :D”

namjoon giggles as if it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard

you automatically scoot closer because this time, it’s yOUR turn to shush him

this is totally for just the reason of talking more discreetly and not distracting anyone and is totally not an excuse to be closer to the next guy and touch shoulders with him then get a whiff of cologne because it’s rare for a guy to be handsome and aLSO smell good

your eyes get used to the darkness and eventually, you could make out features of namjoon beside you

he has the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen

and the way he looks at you makes you feel safe and even your height difference is visible with how probably lonG his torso is compared to yours, his gaze doesn’t make you feel small

namjoon’s still (unsurprisingly) far-sighted and ur so close that he’s a lil cross-eyed 

fuck it he’s gonna go to ophthalmologist FIRST thing in the morning tomorrow

“then why are you here?”

“my friend seokjin,” you lean back upon realizing the original reason why you’re here, the situation being so ironic that you puff out a smile

your friend’s named seokjin?

cool :D kim seokjin is namjoon’s of his favorite directors eVER!!

second best for him actually though.,., no one could quite compare to his first

your explanation makes him cackle several times, a swell of pride recounting why you hate (it’ll be past tense probably after this one) theatre 

“what about you?”

you turn the question to him, making his dimples disappear effectively that you think you’ve just spooked him

“i uh, well i always wanted to see a story that went like this, so i’m here.”

“you’re a critic? oh god. please don’t tell me you heard all my mumbles.”

no this is even WORSE

namjoon’s not a theatre buff

HE’S A CRITIC????????????

god im coming up

“don’t worry, i also think that the drapings must probably be dirty.”

he breaks out into a smile recounting how you were talking to yourself earlier, a snort escaping him involuntarily 

“RIGHT??? it’s like how do you even clean them?? do they fit in washing machines or-”

my god he’s such a nice guy!!!

in fact, he’s everything you want in a guy

you’ve went through atleast twelve facets of emotions for the past hour and you’re not even dating!!!!!!!

“my thoughts exactly!! and if it’s by hand, how do you even scrub the entirety of it?? or wring the water out??”

namjoon KNOWS exactly what’s up :’)

“is there even a clothesline that’d bEAR the weight??”

the two of you are so happy that you just look at each other laughing, a moment in time before namjoon nudges you to lean back because the ending’s happening

you don’t even question him how he’d know that it’s the ending and not just another opening to a new scene, just listening to him

you’re so happy

the play made you happy but namjoon made you even happier :-)

“if you are a critic, you should probably open up your review with this chatty play-hating girl beside you, then at the end, close it off with how she loves it.”

it’s the parting conversation as you realize and holy fuck you are nOT ready for it

you r gonna drag this out for as long as you could <3

......

and namjoon wants in too <3

“noted. if i was a playwright, i’d even make you the lead. which detail should i include? offering me wrapper-covered rice crispy snacks, or asking how you’d watch it while going thru the bathroom?”

this feels so natural

as natural as the couple in the play you’ve just finished watching :))

“you’re hilarious,” you’re not even the slightest bit annoyed and your restrained smile tells him all about it

yea you may have brought in snacks illegally but you aRE gathering your trash up as you’re a decent human being

namjoon wishes you’d pick up after yourself slowly, standing up from his seat as he has the plan of picking up trash that isn’t even his

“what name should i put then?”

you’re silent and oh god he thinks you found his company stupid and would definitely not give him your name

you’re not ignoring him though!!!

his words are still stuck in your head, realizing it lately with his “which detail should i include?”

“me wanting to turn this into a film, actually.”

you test the words out on your tongue, nodding to yourself after a few seconds that you seem so sure of it

“yeah. i wanna make it into a film.”

the lights turn on after being dim for so long, namjoon’s eyes going wide trying to digest what you’ve just said

“w-what?

.....

no fucking way

HOLY FUCKING SHIT SWFRWFBWRHGBRBVWRV SWBHJSDB SHJAVBHGJDS BWHRGHBSVWBGRH

namjoon’s malfunctioning as he’s looking at you from eye to eye, bottom lip trembling while he’s so keen at pointing at you

“y-you’re miss y/n!!”

....

right

oH RIGHT

he’s a fan of yours??

namjoon’s fanning his face because he’s about to literally burst into tears

how could he nOT???

how could he not be emotional when all along, he’s been talking to his number one favorite director????

you and your films are the absolute gems of his life namjoon’s not even kidding

your films were world-renowned for being so natural and sentimental without loading too much into it!!!! you’re known for being so humble through the multiple back-to-back awards and praise you get!!!! 

he cannot calm the fUCK down when you’re rubbing circles on his back

“you w-want to turn my play into a film?”

oh my gOD

you’re fumbling for the envelope and it’s only nOW that you realize that it’s not from seokjin in the first place

spring day a play by kim namjoon an invite for director y/n y/l/n

“it’s you!!!!”

“no it’s YOU!!”

jin’s plan worked alright :D

he’s just FOUR rows behind you lmao

it was just two weeks ago when yoongi, the executive producer of his film that he was directing, let it slip that he was co-financing a play

he met yoongi some semesters later after he became close with you, and he’s aLSO converted yoongi into hating theatre then he fit right in to your little posse of theatre kid-hating film students

that gave jin the laugh of his laugh and yoongi was not joking at all

“no, no. i’m telling you man. it’s different! i even have the script that i’ll let you read.”

and holy shit it IS different

if you see a couple tears on the last seven pages of yoongi’s copy of spring day’s script then mind yo oWN fucking business

then two weeks later, here he is :D

jin managed to also convert you to love theatre even IF it is namjoon’s play that did all the work

( also coincidentally found you a future boyfriend because he’s tired of seeing you alone and the closest you’d get to having someone is projecting your yearning into writing the scripts for the films you’d make )

he’s also secretly co-financed the whole play along with yoongi and he’ll drop that bomb later on lmao

“and that must mean i looked like a total FOOL beside you oh my god im so sorry!!”

namjoon panics at that, about to cry when another realization hits him when he’s about to put his head on his hands

“then that means the friend who gave you the ticket was-”

SEOKJIN VBFHSBVHSFBVSFHDVBSJFV SFJVJSFVSJVSSV SSV V FS FSV SFBVRBVRSVSWVGU

he cries to your shoulder and you never expected to be hugging and consoling someone you’ve just met two hours ago, a more than fond smile on your face he takes advantage of when he sneaks in the chance to ask you

“do you mean that?”

“now why would i lie to the playwright who’s been listening to me talk shit, then theorizing, then crying for the past hour?”

it’s true though

namjoon’s seen it all

he’s still handsome as ever even when he sniffles, his dimples on display when you return his question

“now did you mean it? writing me into your play?”

why are you even ASKING

:D

he’s the biggest fan of u

namjoon’s made notes of your work, dedicated scripts to your movies, and he’s thinking about how it’s not yet hitting you how your whole epiphany about the pink sweater turning brown on his play,,, was entirely inspired from you and your affinity for lighting in your films

he thinks it’s still a little early to kiss you on the cheek even if you’ve already hugged, instead settling on pinching your cheek with satisfaction present in all corners

“you’ve always been my muse.”

#feedback pls and thank you :D I WAS SCREAMING THE WHOLE TIME I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW I NEED TO SLEEP #namjoon #kim namjoon #namjoon imagine #namjoon imagines #namjoon oneshot #namjoon oneshots #namjoon x y/n #namjoon x reader #namjoon fluff #namjoon au #namjoon fluff imagine #namjoon fluff imagines #namjoon fic #namjoon fics #namjoon fic recs #namjoon scenario #bts namjoon imagine

[vampirecatboy]

haha ok this is going to be a lot but :3c

Kira:(5,18,20,27,31,39,40) / Rhys:(4,12,28,35,37) /Murdoch:(6,14,23 but circus troupe, 32 previous to merrow transformation, 38) / Petra:(any question you feel like answering for him? c:)

oh hell yeah buckle up

Kira:

What was their childhood fear?

I don't think it was "getting lost" because he wouldn't go wandering around so much if he was scared of getting lost. I think he was really nervous around his siblings' friends, because they were all so much older than him and bigger than him, plus they were like that candy-sweet, cloying level of nice to him that really rubbed him the wrong way. They babied him basically and it made him very uncomfortable, so whenever Aoife or Teague had friends over he would either hide in the woods or his room if it was cold/rainy.

If they could live or visit anywhere, where would they go?

I'll skip over "home" because that's obvious I think. I think he would want to go somewhere secluded and remote, like a cabin in the woods, or a lighthouse. He's never actually been able to discern anything from a map so there aren't cities he wants to see, but he would like to see Inverness someday.

What did they dream of “growing up” to be?

I have a line I've never been able use in any one shot, where he says "I wanted to be cool and sexy when I grew up, and I think I've checked both those boxes." In all seriousness, he wanted to be an adventurer like his mom, an expert archer like Nikita, and he wanted to study the plants that grew around his home.

Have they achieved any of their childhood dreams? Are they still trying? Have those dreams changed?

He's achieved all of them, surpassed the one about studying plants because he's seen so much beyond his home. Unfortunately, becoming an adventurer came at a cost. He hasn't been able to stop since he was sixteen. His dreams have changed. He only has one now, and it's to see his family again.

Who are they when they aren’t with the party?

That's a tough one. When he's not with the party he's either alone, or with one of his love interests, and even between those he's different. When he's alone, he gets kind of spacey and in his own head, because there's no one else to interact with, and he probably won't choose to interact with anyone. When he's with a love interest, he gets very affectionate, and typically matches their energy and behavior. It's sort of like unconscious masking. Sometimes I refer to him in my head as a "sexual chameleon" but it's not just levels of sexuality he mimics. He'll work with whatever they give him in all fields.

If someone could tell them anything about the future they asked, would they want to know? Would they ask?

He absolutely would want to know, but I don't think he'd ask because he'd be afraid of the answer. He wants to know if he'll ever get home, he wants to know how things turn out with Rhys (he might not believe the answer he would get lol), and he wants to know if he'll survive the prophecy he's a part of.

What sets them free?

A sky full of fluffy white clouds, the weight of his crystal pendant around his neck, the first chill in autumn, the warm embrace of a lover, the sound of an arrow hitting its target, his father's shepherd's pie

Rhys:

Who was their childhood hero?

If I knew more about the character I'd say Long John Silver from Treasure Island because pirate. Otherwise, it's his dad. When he was young, he was the type who dreamed of getting married and starting a family, because he saw how his dad was with his wife, and how he was with him and Elsie and Erin, and thought "I want to be like him." (and now Cat's in the Cradle is stuck in my head lol)

What were their favorite hobbies as a teen?

He was a shy little bookworm who loved to read. He used to get in trouble in elementary school because he would read during class when he should've been paying attention. There was a point when he was a teenager and doing his apprenticeship with the book binder that he considered writing for a living.

If they could change their class(es), would they? To what?

I don't think so, he likes being a rogue, but.... he's always been a little envious of people with magic. He'd stay a rogue, but that insult spell that Kira used to k.o. him was pretty cool...

What do they see in the dark?

The things he's hiding from.

What is their sleep/trance like?

He's a sleeper, and he's a deep one. There's a reason he doesn't take naps anymore, he'd wake up after four hours completely disoriented and feeling pretty much dead. He'll occasionally have nightmares, not really triggered by anything, just when his subconscious is like "Hey, fuck you :)" All that being said, lately he's been sleeping less, not for any emotional reason, it's just that the sparse times the cat wakes up have been late at night, and shh don't tell his sisters but especially don't tell Kira, but he loves that cat to death and he's happy to see him awake because that means Kira is actually sleeping. Also sometimes the cat will make a little noise at him and his icy heart melts.

Murdoch:

Did they grow up with siblings? What were those relationships like?

Murdoch is the super spoiled only child of Shiloh and Rosemary Heffernan. That being said he had a lot of friends growing up, so he was never lonely. His moms let him have a lot of sleepovers because they knew it would be good for him to socialize and learn how to cooperate with others.

What does their midday meal look like? One big meal? Lots of snacks throughout the day?

I don't think he really gets lunch breaks so much as someone else will run over to concessions and get him something to snack on when he's not performing. Minor spoiler for my follow up to Kira's disaster threesome (or something he'll actually do in a session, we'll see), but I was thinking a day or two after that night, Kira gets a candy apple or something from concessions and brings it to Murdoch which is unintentionally a very sweet gesture.

What is their role in the party? Not just their class on a meta level, but among the individuals who make up the party?

He's the idiot brother with a heart of gold. I said a while ago, before he was part of the circus in canon, that he dumbs himself down and plays the fool so he'll seem less scary? Like he's got the eyes and the teeth and the deathly pallor, he feels he has to make up for that with how he acts, so he seems less threatening.

Do they have any expectations of how they might die?

He always felt he would die young, and part of him hoped it would be in some poetic way. Killed by a lover, or for love, in some pretty bloodless fashion, like with poison or through, well, drowning. Idk if we have Shakespeare in universe, but to put it in a way that I think fully encapsulates his feelings: he read Hamlet and hoped to die like Ophelia.

Do they remember their dreams?

Not often. That's one thing that didn't really change after he died. His dreams while he sleeps are pretty scattered and strange, things that are so ridiculous and nonsensical that unless it really scares or arouses him, it fades within minutes.

Petra:

Did they grow up with siblings? What were those relationships like?

I chose this one for Petra because I had this sudden vision of him having a twin sister (Renate, pronounced reh-NA-tuh, Renny for short) who he's really close with, as twins typically are. They both got into all kinds of mischief together. Renny I think became an urban druid, she and Petra both developed an affinity with the environment. In Petra that looked like parkour and and a crossbow, and in Renny that looked like talking to pigeons and (eventually) shapechanging into them. They still live together, their parents actually gave them the house and moved out to the countryside when they felt the city had gotten too fast for them. And one other thing, they've both got the same purple eyes.

#i spent so long on this and it was so much fun #my boys my boys my booooyyssss #dnd tag

[goose-books]

goose-books productions: a 2020 review

view the image in higher quality here! (open the image in a new tab to zoom in.) thank you to my dearest @yvesdot for the template

transcripts and month-by-month details under the cut! for reference, you can find my projects here :-) overall, new and old followers, thank you for another good year over here! [holds your hand] [holds your hand] [holds your hand] [holds your h

january

i spent late 2019-early 2020 working on 2019’s nano project, quark, aka the speculative fiction thing about new york city and prophets and dissections of the chosen one trope and gay people. quark is my second-oldest project (five years!), but it’s also probably the most ambitious, so it’s been... difficult to wrangle into place, and i didn’t end up finishing a first draft. oh, well.

enjoy a snippet that is devastatingly emblematic of everything about quark. the tone. the homoerotic tension. the ensemble cast all talking over each other. the fact that caelum has spent pretty much this entire scene crying. fun autopsy report meeting.

Marble stares at the notebook in Shade’s hands. Or maybe he’s staring at Shade’s hands. Dawn feels a little voyeuristic, so she does what she does and says a dumb and unrelated thing: “Augustus, I think this pizza-on-the-floor thing is hurting my ass.”

Augustus flutters his hands. “Sometimes nonconformity is painful.”

“At least we’re originals,” Caelum mumbles into his sleeve.

“Exactly,” Augustus says.

“True originality doesn’t exist,” Marble says.

“Oh,” Shade deadpans, “it’s going to be a fun autopsy report meeting.”

It isn’t.

february

in january i stressed myself out trying to make the plot of quark work. so in february, i decided to take some time and write something Entirely For Fun. like, entirely for fun, no rules. and. my god. how do i explain the project i started calling “third eye for the bad guy.”

it was an unholy mashup of many of my past hyperfixations, including the gone series, a tale of two cities, warrior cats, and the left hand of darkness. one of the characters was a canon scalie and one was a canon fictionkinnie. it centered around a polycule of wannabe-evil-overlord high schoolers. i only wrote like three chapters but i was lost in the sauce for all of february and then i just… like… wiped it from my mind and moved on? somehow??? one character was a werewolf and that literally wasn’t relevant at ALL

I.

Someone was going to die on these steps.

This had been Ivy Lee Palomo’s thought last year during the all-school photo, and it rose in her mind again now. The one hundred marble stairs leading up to the great double doors of Saint Constantine Academy were the school’s pride and glory, steep as the mountain, sharp as the blade under Ivy Lee’s skirt. With the cutting wind and snow glazing the stone more often than not, with the freshmen wild and wired on their first day of their first year, it was really only a matter of time before someone slipped and cracked their fucking head open.

It wasn’t going to be her. Not when she had Doc Martens and reflexes like an electric coil. Still. Ivy Lee didn’t want to watch someone die. She didn’t get along with dead people.

march

in march, i got back to the project i’d started in 2019 - AMT, my podcast! it’s a shakespeare retelling set in a modern high school; this excerpt is funnier and also more unnerving in context. (double, double, toil and trouble...)

INDRAJIT: What the hell are you doing?

[PAUSE.]

DEE (like she’s lying): Making pasta.

[ALL THREE OF THEM LAUGH.]

NONA: That’s right.

MORA: We have the keys to Mab’s office.

DEE: We’re using her stove.

NONA: To make pasta.

DEE: Do you want some?

[A TENSE PAUSE.]

INDRAJIT: No.

april

and darkling rears its head! all of my other projects have existed for at least a year; darkling (specfic king lear retelling) is... special. it was conceived in april, when i started hyperfixating on king lear, and i still managed to write an absolutely ridiculous amount of content for it. it was like the power of hyperfixation let me speedrun the entire process. which. okay.

iv: control

They say Cressida Stayer was nine years old when she turned her hair to gold. They laid her down in bed blonde, and the next morning, the waves cascading down her shoulders were solid metal, glinting harshly in the sunlight, weighing her down, creating that odd head-cocked expression she still wears now. Nine years old. Two or three years before most people develop enough magic skills to dye a single curl. Much less transfigure their hair into precious metal.

People also say Leovald Stayer’s immediate reaction was to hack it off her head and melt it down for cash. But generally they say that part a lot quieter.

may

in may i wrote AMT episode 15, by which i mean that in may there was a day when i sat in my room with the door shut for literally five straight hours listening to the same three songs on loop as i wrote the climax of one of the plotlines of AMT. so. that sure was… a day.

ISAAC: Do you want… do you want someone to drive you home? Hawk, you’re worrying me -

HAWK (almost cutting him off): Don’t. Don’t say that. I’m here to help. With your… thing.

ISAAC (quietly): I… don’t know if you should be here to see this.

HAWK (a little louder, more audibly upset): Well - what else am I going to do? Go home and - and have my dads talk at me and - and not be able to answer them? Because I can’t? I can’t. I don’t know what to say.

[PAUSE.]

ISAAC (V.O.): I wonder if this is what he feels like, on the outside, looking in at me. Watching someone else hurting. Helpless and afraid.

He still fits perfectly in my arms. I rest my chin on top of his head and pull him close to me, like I can stop him from shaking, like I can stop anything from happening the way I know it’s going to. I bury my face in his hair. He smells so familiar. He’s so warm.

God, Hawk. I love you so much. You shouldn’t be here to see this. Something bad’s gonna happen. And you’re not the kind of person who belongs in a tragedy.

june

okay, honestly, i should talk about “night shift” here, because in june i wrote a whole short story in one night (and then foamed over it for a week), but i am still in the process of submitting it places! so i am terrified to put even a sentence of it online. instead: the other thing i did this month was to finish AMT! (sixteen episodes and somewhere around 175k, iirc, but don’t quote me.) these lines are the opener to the final episode!

RAHMA (V.O.): The combined series of sophomore year disasters stretched through November. It’s June now. It’s taken me… a long time to get this all put together. I was going to make a vlog about it, initially - well, calling it a vlog sounds frivolous. I was going to make a video recounting the whole deal. All of it. From when I kissed Avery Fairchilde to the very last night. I scripted dozens of drafts; I put together dozens of bullet-pointed lists of what to cover… and it was never enough. Because Avery and I weren’t the only ones involved. Even if I was only focused on the two of us, it wasn’t just the two of us.

So… I gathered up everyone else. The whole town of Ellisburg is still talking about the week the town went crazy, but it wasn’t just a week. There was a lot leading up to it. And I think if anyone’s going to talk about it, it should be us. The people who lived it. So here we are. The most ambitious Rahma Ashiq production of all time - at least so far.

july

every july i pause whatever else i’m doing to celebrate the birthday of aurum & argentate, twins from my oldest and dearest WIP The Mortal Realm. july fifteenth! mark your calendars. they’re princes, though argentate would really rather not be; you can read the full birthday piece here.

“Do you… plan to get dressed?” A bit of the usual humor crept back into Aurum’s voice. “Although if you want to speak to the kingdom in your underthings, by all means, you have my full support.”

Argentate scrubbed at his face. He wasn’t dressed, no, but the usual malaise hung over his shoulders like a cloak. Guilt. Nerves. The sick sense that he hadn’t done something he was supposed to. The numb knowledge that it was too late to change a thing.

“I meant to,” he said. “Get dressed, I mean.” The rest went unsaid: I have just been sitting here. On the floor. Thinking about how I should get dressed.

“Ah,” Aurum said, extending his hand. “The traditional route. We’ll save the nude speeches for the future, then.”

Argentate took his hand, stumbling a little as Aurum pulled him to his feet. He steadied himself on the closest wall, taking a few deep breaths. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. His hands found their way to the cross, again and again.

august

this summer, i wrote an entire draft of Valentine Van Velt is Dead, AKA “holden caulfield goes to exposure therapy,” AKA the weird little personal side project i keep tucked into my coat. interesting features include second-person narration from a narrator who doesn’t like the main character all that much. so reading it is kind of like the book wants to kill you? with an added dash of general melancholy.

You used to live here. That’s the thing that’s got you feeling so off.

You didn’t recognize your old house. I mean, you kind of did. You remembered that the road was on a hill. That hill felt like a goddamn forty-five degree angle when you were a kid. But if you didn’t have the address written down you wouldn’t have known it at all. It would have been just another little suburban house in rows of perfect little towns that make your skin crawl.

So now you’re in this diner looking out a gross smudgy window trying to block out the elevator music pumping through the speakers in the ceiling or whatever. I don’t know how speakers work. You’re trying to tune that shit out. The waitress comes over and catches you by surprise so you just point at some coffee thing on the menu so she’ll go away. For the record: you don’t drink coffee.

There’s a public library across the street. A little square building. You probably used to go there. The lady comes over and thunks your coffee on the table and gives you a kind of look, like she wants to know what in the goddamn hell you think you’re doing here and not at school. You sip your coffee and look out the window until she leaves you alone again. And then you spit it back into the cup because, for the record: you don’t drink coffee.

september

i spent september and october prepping for nano, so i was mostly working on darkling...

It’s late spring; still, at this time of night, on a rooftop, there’s a chill. The wind plays with the end of Ruby’s coat, with her hair. She hands the bottle off to Jasper, stares up at the fogged-over sky, wishes she were lying in Dany’s arms in Dany’s bed instead of here. Wishes, even, that Dany were the one on the roof with her. At least then they’d be cold together. At least then she wouldn’t have to imagine what Dany would say; she could just listen, and watch Dany’s flashing smile and her flinty eyes.

(She cuddles. This is another thing Dany does that Dany probably shouldn’t do, based on everything about Dany; it’s not like rattlesnakes cuddle. But Dany likes to nuzzle into Ruby’s side and rest her head on Ruby’s collarbones and toss an arm over Ruby’s chest, and hold her down like she’s worried she’ll float off somewhere. She’ll card her fingers through Ruby’s hair and hum. Even though they could get caught, even though she’s probably got better places to be - Dany cuddles.)

Ruby imagines it, momentarily, both of them on the roof together, sprawled like horrifyingly beautiful gargoyles, sharp teeth flashing, blood running hot. Up here - it’d be like they ruled the world.

But whatever. Jasper’s fun. He’s hot. He’s got a sharp tongue in a lot more ways than one. And she likes when he lets the mask down. She likes seeing the soft bits underneath. She wants to sink her teeth and nails into them so hard she draws blood. Masks don’t bleed. Ruby would know; that’s why she is what she is.

october

...though i was also in creative writing class in school, and thus ended up writing a bunch of poems of varying quality (my teacher had a real thing for poetry) and also one darklingverse short story where rory and cressida hold hands! which you can find here.

Lorelai Rory Flowers is afraid of thunder.

This is a bit of an embarrassing thing to admit, as they’re seventeen (“at least seventeen,” they like to tell people, “maybe two hundred, who’s to say?”) and generally wise beyond their years, or whatever it is that adults say about kids with too much psychological baggage. Being afraid of thunder is not a very wise-beyond-one’s-years trait. And yet the state of affairs remains: loud noises make Rory want to melt into the earth. Back when they still went to school, even the fire alarm sent them scuttling under their desk to hide.

Right now, in the elevator, all they can do is shrink into their sweater.

They haven’t let go of Cressida’s hand yet.

november

and then november of course was nano which was an adventure all the way through. (opening tumblr on the fifth day of nano to find out about d*stiel... was something.)

“Apologize to me. Or get out of my house.”

Gracen’s voice is very, very low. For a moment she thinks he hasn’t heard her at all. Then he spins, eyes blazing. “What did you say?”

Gracen watches her own chest heave. She pushes herself up off the desk, stands with the effort of pushing a mountain off of her back. Leovald is six-foot-four. Gracen is six-foot-two. In her heels, in the heels she must wear to be a professional woman, to be a lady - they are the same height.

Gracen wipes her nose. When she lowers her arm, there’s a streak of blood across the back of her hand. Fire shivers in her chest; her heart rings in her ears; her voice could cut steel.

“I said,” she says, low, slow, volume building, “apologize to me. Or get. Out. Of. My. House.”

december

and finally, the poem i posted this year! it’s called the beast sonnet, and you can find it in its own post over here (with commentary! how sexy.)

i kill the beast and drop down to my knees, my blade stained dark with blood of stygian hue, and for a moment these scarred hands shake free, and hold a world unfurled for me anew. but once-mourned victims, victors, vices find; fear winged me; now its absence strips me bare. my sword now dulls, my legs, my voice, my mind; the beast, pried from my throat, leaves no skill there. and still i hear it laugh, O DEVOTEE— O CHILD DEAR, NO GLORY WITHOUT ME.

i was quite productive this year; i have to think it was because i was avoiding things... the peak of my productivity happened over the summer and in november, AKA, college app hell. (almost done with the last applications! pray for me.)

a general breakdown of what occupied me this year:

(no, i don’t know why the “various other things” category ended up so large... i blame all the one-off projects i wrote a single page for, and also whatever the fuck happened in february. yes, i do know why it looks hideous; it’s because each of my WIPs has a theme color

thank you once again for spending some time at goose-books dot gov this year! what to expect for next year: well, i very much hope i can produce AMT... also hoping to get darkling ready for beta readers, so keep your eyes out!

#max.txt #and that's a wrap!!! what a goddamn year. #okay. breath in. tags: #quark tag #third eye tag #(i think there are like. two posts in that one?) #amt tag #darkling tag #tmr tag #vvvid tag #wow that was a lot of text. if you read all this... [blows you a kiss] thank you! #max actually writes #year in review

[ambersky0319]

Dumb idea from a tired Rayne: Logan, who doesn't want to date Roman, keeps telling him "___ and then maybe I'll date you" so later you have Roman looking practically like a fucking clown as he tries to recite Shakespeare in full garbwhile also trying to speak in a perfect accents with the mind palace looking like a galaxy, only for Roman to find out after while he was practicing his brother and Deceit asked Logan out and he said yes, and he tried to tell Roman but he refused to listen.

This doesn’t have a happy ending, but it’s also not a bad ending?

Ships : One-sided Logince, Platonic Logince, Romantic Intruloceit

Warnings : Leading people on, miscommunication, let me know if there's anything else that I should add!

Masterpost 

----------------------------------------

It wasn't that Logan didn't like Roman. He did, in complete honesty, Logan loved spending time with Roman, he loved being Roman's friend. But that's where it ended.

Being Roman's friend.

So when Roman confessed that he had feelings for Logan, he didn't know what to do. How do you reject someone, and then say it's because he just got into a relationship with said someone's brother and his partner?

But that's the thing. Logan tried to say that. But every time he got near the answer 'no' Roman would fall into another round of rambling that lasted anywhere between five to twenty minutes. It got to the point that Logan just... Gave up on trying to outright reject him.

Instead, he started giving Roman impossible tasks to do.

He didn't expect it to backfire so terribly on him though.

Logan sighed loudly as he collapsed onto the couch within the dark commons, right by Deceit who set his book down to console his annoyed boyfriend. Remus was nowhere to be found, probably in the Imagination. Logan just wished he could cuddle them both right now, that would surely cheer him up.

Deceit gently pulled him into his arms, pressing soft kisses to his temple as he started to massage Logan, slowly drawing circles on his back. Logan made a soft, strangled noise as he curled closer to Deceit.

"What's happened now?" Deceit hummed. He and Remus knew of Logan's predicament, and both knowing how well Roman took rejection, weren't able to give Logan any ideas on how to tell Roman that he wasn't interested, not without letting their own relationship slip.

"He- He actually learned Latin and performed not five, but ten original poems! And! He actually changed his sash to that awful gray that he hates!" Logan let his head fall into Deceit's neck, huffing and shaking his head.

"I told him that he needs to perform an entire Shakespeare play all by himself looking like Pennywise using time-accurate accents and in garb and that the entire mind palace must look like a galaxy."

Deceit began threading his fingers through Logan's hair. "What are you going to do if he actually succeeds in this one?"

"Honestly?" Deceit hummed in confirmation. "I have no fucking clue."

Silence filled the dark commons for a long while. Logan was far less tense now but refused to move out of Deceit's lap. Not that Deceit minded. But then Deceit broke the comforting quiet.

"Remus and I were talking earlier, about maybe to put a stop to this we just... All come out."

Logan shifted only slightly, frowning against Deceit's neck. "I thought that's what we were trying to avoid?"

"Well, we've been dating for what, four months now? And Roman has been doing this for about three. No matter how the others react, we'll stay together, and Roman can work on moving on and accepting that you aren't interested." Deceit continued to run his fingers through Logan's hair, no knots remained but he knew it was helping Logan relax. "We're ready to come out. If you aren't though, that's fine, and Remus and I can always help you come up with something-"

Before Deceit could finish, there was a crash as the Imagination door slammed open, and Remus came stumbling down the stairs cursing up a storm.

"Remus?" Logan asked hesitantly when Remus started to tug at his hair and pace. Remus barely glanced at them.

"I fucked up, guys I fucked up royally- Roman's pissed, he's so incredibly pissed oh my god, guys-"

"Hey, hey, Remus," Logan shifted out of Deceit's arms a bit for the first time in quite a while. "Come sit down, and maybe explain what happened?"

Remus did, settling down on Deceit's other side and welcoming the embrace from both Logan and Deceit. He then went on to explain how Roman had unconsciously wandered into Remus's part of the Imagination, where Remus had been talking with Hope about Deceit and Logan, getting suggestions from Hope on how to handle the situation if Logan didn't want to tell anyone yet. He described how Roman now knew that they were all together, and how he looked so incredibly heartbroken but also so pissed, and Remus wasn't able to tell if it was at Remus and Deceit, or Logan.

Once he was done, Logan groaned loudly, head falling back to hide in Deceit's shoulder. He said something, but it was muffled by Deceit's shirt. Remus clung to Logan, burrowing his face in Logan's hair. "Maybe we can just give Roman amnesia, y'know, and no one will know!"

"I don't think giving your brother a concussion is a good idea, Remus."

"At least it's an idea!"

Logan shook his head, taking a deep breath. "No, I'm going to have to talk with him. But... but I think I'll talk to Roman tomorrow. Hopefully he'll be willing to listen, I doubt he will be right now."

"You sure, Lo?"

Logan nodded, moving so he could press a light kiss to Remus's cheek. "I just really want to spend time with you both. And maybe this'll be safer."

"Alright..."

-

The next morning, Logan rose up in front of Roman's room. It was too early for Patton or Virgil to be awake, but Roman often got up around the same time as Logan. He knocked lightly on the door, and it took a minute and Logan was just about to knock again when he heard a lock click and the door slowly opened. Logan bit his lip as he felt his heart figuratively break at the sight before him, Roman with irritated eyes and hair so tangled one brush would never be able to help tame it. He looked so pale, too, and he wobbled slightly in place as he processed just who was at his door.

When it finally caught up to him that it was Logan, Roman attempted to shut the door. But Logan stuck his foot out to stop it. "We really need to talk-"

"I don't want to see you, Logan."

"Please, Roman?"

". . ."

"I just want to explain things. You don't need to actually respond, but you need to hear me out. And then, if you no longer want to be friends, then I'll just leave you alone from now on. I won't even take long, I just need five minutes."

Roman hesitated, before sighing in defeat and he sulked back into his room, letting Logan enter. He sat on the bed and just stared at Logan. "Five minutes. Go."

Logan took a deep breath. "First, I wanted to apologize. It was wrong of me to lead you on like I did, getting your hopes up that I might reciprocate your feelings when in fact I wasn't only not interested, but was seeing other sides.

"Next, the only reason why I kept doing that is because any time I tried to tell you no, or that I wasn't interested, you would cut me off, or refuse to listen. I tried each and every time to get you to listen and I failed, so I gave you more and more ridiculous tasks thinking you would eventually give up. And then you didn't. And I just had no idea what to do, because I still wanted to be frends, I love being friends with you, but I don't like you how you like me and I just- I'm um, I'm just really sorry, Roman."

Logan held his breath as he watched Roman for any reaction, holding Roman's gaze. Roman took in a shuddering breath, before glancing to the side, frown tugging at his lips.

"And you were with my brother and Deceit the entire time...?"

"... Yes."

Roman closed his eyes for a moment, processing everything that Logan had said. When it seemed that he finally did, he exhaled slowly, still not looking at Logan.

"I'm still mad, Logan, I'm still hurt. But... But I don't want to not have you in my life. I still want you around. It wouldn't be the same with you gone- and I- fuck, Logan, I'm sorry for not listening... I should have, this all could've been avoided." Roman held his head in his hands. "Just... can, can we come back to this in a few days?"

Logan nodded hastily. Roman glanced at him for a moment before looking back down at the floor. "I'll see you later, Logan."

Logan hugged himself as he left Roman's room, summoning a water bottle for him before he left. God, this wasn't how he wanted things to turn out...

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[wreckofawriter]

I Don't Love

Pairing: Sirius Black x reader

Word count: 7,392 (Woah)

Warnings: Alochal, smoking, talk of sex.

Request: Hiii! Could I request a Sirius x reader imagine where the reader is like the girl version of Sirius. She wears her own leather jacket, and she’s basically a heartbreaker. Like Sirius, she doesn’t really believe in love, she believes in lust and attraction. Until She meets Sirius and starts falling for him and she’s super confused bc she’s never felt love before and Sirius starts falling for her and he’s confused cus of the same reason and it’s just super cute and fluffy 🥺

A/n: A few things: Number one. I am so incredibly sorry that this took me like 2 weeks to write. I had some pretty shitty crap go down and it just sorta fucked with me and I couldnt write. Number two. This is a little less fluffy than I wanted it to be but it still has a fluff ending. And Number three. To all the people who have sent me requests. I am going to start writing regularly again now so, I will probally have one out at the end of the week and another out around sunday or monday. Thank you so much for you patience.

    You had officially decided that there were two types of boys in this world. One would scream and yell at you when they realized you were only in it for one night, while the other would beg for a chance that you were never willing to give. 

               Conor had opted for the latter.

“Y/n, please” He begged, his eyes were wide and pleading, he was desperate. Desperate for you to stay, he just wanted a chance. 

    You sighed taking a large swig of your coffee, it was too early for this shit. “Conor how many times am I going to have to tell you, it was a one time thing.” your voice was monotone, as if you were bored, which was quite honestly the case. Have the same conversation over and over again tended to do that to a person. 

    “Please y/n, I swear you wont regret it. Just one date.” The Huffelpuff begged, he gasped your hand in attempts to gain your attention. He did not succeed. 

    You let out a stiffened groan, the conversation had become increasingly frustrating, the fact that most of the school was listening in on the exchange of words definitely didn't help. “Conor,” you spoke slowly, praying that he could get the information you were about to give him though his thick skull. “Friday night was fun.” you watched his features brighten, his sky blue eyes filling with momentary hope. “But that's all it was, Friday night and fun, so please leave me alone, you're giving me a headache.” 

    You heard the gasps and felt the glares, Conor was popular, he was also nice, and from what you heard extremely sweet. So as he slunk away from you head hung, tail between his legs, you could feel a good dozen people glaring daggers into your back.

    “Note to self: dont fuck popular people.” You mumbled quietly knowing you would never follow through with the rule. 

 You looked back down at your eggs rolling your eyes when you heard an all too familiar voice shriek in rage. 

    You along with everyone else in the hall turned to a furious Marlen Mckinnion who was practically dragging a smirking Sirius Black from his seat. 

    “You son of a bitch!” She shrieked, tears of fury and sadness leaking from her cheeks. 

    “Well my mother is a bitch.” He shrugged a cheeky grin pulling his lips apart. 

    She shrieked again, making you grimace. 

You tunned out of her pathetic argument and opted your attention to the book resting at the bottom of your bag. You were about a chapter in before you got sidetracked by Marleens redicoulsly high pitched blubbers. 

“How could you!” she sobbed behind you. God she was so loud. “You knew how I felt and you still fucked another girl!” 

You weren't sure why but this sentence made you snort. You attempted to muffle the giggles slowly evolving to laughter, but they poured passed your lips like an overflowing sink. Those close to you gave you angered looks, but you didn't care, you received enough of those already. It didn't take long for Marleen, to halt her reckless cries and turned to you with a fiery rage. 

She left Black standing where he was, her attention now focused purely on you. 

“What do you think is so funny y/l/n?” She hissed tears still sliding down her flushed cheeks, her mascara  trying her face into an angry blackened mess. 

You snorted once again “I'm sorry.” You wheezed out unable to contain your laughter, “I don't mean to offend you or anything,” You lied not even bothering to trap your giggles anymore. “It's just…” You burst into another fit.

The hall had gone quite, they wanted to see what was going to happen almost as much as you did. “You're telling me you actually believe that he cares what you felt?” 

He face flashed with surprise, you heard a few fellow Slytherins and even a couple Ravenclaws let out short bursts of laughter.

“How dare you!” She screamed, her voice shaky, hands bawled at her side.

“Look, it's nothing personal.” You shrugged calmly, "It's just ridiculous for you to overreact every time he sleeps with someone else. What did you expect?" You could feel hundreds of pairs of eyes on you, they were thirsting for chaos, something about the way Marleens face twisted at you words made it seem like there was a strong chance of their thirst being quenched. 

"Maybe I expected him to actually give a shit about somebody for once in his miserable life!" She yelled turning around to see the dark haired boy biting his lips to keep in a laugh. "For him to actually love me the way I loved him." 

You scoffed rolling your eyes, "You don't actually believe you were in love do you?" 

"Of course I do." She hissed back tears still leaking from her blackened eyes, she had now taken a few steps toward you 

"Love is bullshit. And if you belive you were actually in love with Black after sucking his dick once, than you just as stupid as you look." You smiled sickly sweet at the girl as she began towards you, her wand suddenly clenched in her right fist. 

"You worthless WHORE!" Her voice rang clear through the hall.

You didn't move, you didn't even flinch because the second she raised her wand it was flying from her hand landing in Avery's, who then muttered a spell that froze her feet into the ground. 

You sent him a cheeky smile and a wink before gathering your things and standing from your bench. You stood in front of the girl, just out of her reach. She was shrieking and crying and over all just a mess. 

"Salazar, your pathetic." You murmured in disgust. 

She yelled something at you couldn't understand, not that you cared to, you were pretty sure it involved the words slut and whore multiple times. 

"Well I best be off" you smiled, "As said in Shakespeare's Coriolanus, Act 2 Scene one, 'More of your conversation would infect my brain.'" And with that you turned on your heel and left the room, green robes billowing neatly behind you. 

A few days past, and as much as you tried to hide it, your world collapsed. Of course this had nothing to do with Marleen or any of her prideful, idiotic friends, this didn't have anything to do with school at all.

It had to deal with your home. You had officially decided that being pure blood sucked. Your whole life had been planned out for you and you didn't want to do even one thing on the pre planned timeline of your life. 

The first thing directly after graduation was marriage. 

You had been attempting to put this one off the longest, you were definitely not the type to settle down and start a family. In fact the idea made you gag. You didn't even like the commitment of a date, let alone of a marriage certificate. 

So when you mother sent you a letter containing a list of names. Your heart sunk to the floor. 

The top of the letter read, "My dearest daughter, as you know you are set to be married soon after graduation. Many young men have asked for your hand, me and your father picked the best of the best for you to choose from. I hope all is going well." And then a list of 11 names, some you had never heard of and some, you sat next to during your meals or studied with after class. 

The thought of marrying any of them made you feel empty inside. You didn't love any of them and you weren't sure you would ever be able to love any of them. 

But you said it yourself, love is bullshit.

This fact didn't stop you from being pushed into a dark hole by your mother's words. She wanted an answer by Christmas break, and hell, you hadn't been able to make a stable decision since you received the letter. 

It started with a party after Slytherin beat Hufflepuff in quidditch. That also happened to be the day you were sent a reminder of your impending doom. So alcohol solved all of your problems for a couple hours and you woke up in the bed of a Ravenclaw you didn't recognize. 

The next day you had an exam you failed which resulted in a mental breakdown that left you dehydrated with a migraine. 

You had downed seven Advils and passed out on your bed by eight. 

The next day your headache had progressed, you had taken an absurd amount of medication to ease the pain that day, you ended up in the locker rooms with a Gryffindor beater.

And now here you were already a quarter bottle deep of firewhisky staring at the list of names scrawled neatly on the tear stained parchment gripped tightly in your hand. 

You glared down at the grounds so far below you, wondering what it would be like if you just jumped. You wondered who, if anyone, would actually care. You wondered if Marleen and her bitchy friends would laugh, you wondered if, some would say you deserved it. They probably would. 

This brought a bubbly giggle to your lips, before the bottle you were holding drowned them. 

You glanced back down at the list. So far you had crossed out two names you would never marry even with a wand held to your neck. 

One was Lestrange, the other Malfoy. The thought of their hands touching you, lips on yours, made you gag. 

You glanced back down at the list circling your current top choice, you would have to do some research on the names you didn't recognize, they must go to a different school. 

You brought the cool glass of the bottle back to your lips, sighing slightly at the burning taste it brought with it. 

You let a few more tears slide down your  cheeks, one dripping lazily off your chin, you watched it disappear into the dark grounds below. For just a second it shimmered in the moonlight appearing to be a drop of pure silver, before it disappeared into the night.

You let out a heart broken sob before letting the stars see the bottom of your bottle. 

Just then you heard a short cough. 

You turned to see Sirius Black, he was adorned in a pair of black ripped jeans a queen t-shirt matched with his signature black leather jacket.

You glanced down at your own appearance, black skinny jeans, tares in each knee, white t-shirt that read "Fuck Off" in black letters and of course your signature black leather jacket. 

He so seemed to be eyeing your appearance. Yiu suspicions were confirmed when he spoke, "I see you've copied my style y/l/n." 

"You wish," you laughed, "I'm pretty sure your the one copying my style." 

He rolled his eyes before walking to your side and staring down at the shimmering of midnight dew on frosted grass. 

"What is Sirius Black doing alone up in the astronomy tower at night?" You asked curiously, offering him your bottle which he took, downing a quick swig, grimacing slightly. 

"I could ask you the same." He huffed glancing at you, taking in the wetness of your cheeks and red tinge in your eyes. 

"Well I asked first." You pointed out before glancing at him as he brought the bottle back to his lips. 

Sirius shrugged passing the liquor back to you. "I guess I just needed some alone time." 

"Guess I ruined that, didn't I." You smirked lazily. 

"Nah," Sirius sighed waving your comment away with his hand, "I didn't have a fire whiskey anyway." His smile was dopey, his hair drooping in front of his stormy grey eyes. 

You let out a giggle, taking another swig from the bottle. 

"So why are you up here." He asked teasingly. 

You grimaced taking another sip. 

Sirius waited for a response for a minute but as he watched you avoid his gaze he realised you weren't going to answer. He sighed sadly, "Come on, you gotta be drowning something with that shit." He motioned to the bottle your lips were closed around. 

You chuckled lazily, "Myself I guess." 

He let out a snort, something you've never seen him do, you simply assumed it was the alcohol getting to him.

Sirius glanced at your paper and before you could whip the list away he gasped.

"Why is my brother on your list!?" He asked in alarm. 

You said nothing feeling tears reach your eyes, the last thing you wanted was someone you barely knew knowing what was slowly tearing you apart. 

"And why is his name circled!?" 

You cringed tears pricking your eyes, Sirius glanced at you, flushing a bit at your glassy eyes, you weren't one to show emotions, seeing you smile alone was a rare opportunity, that was if you only counted sincere grins, not deadly smirks. But crying, he couldn't recall seeing you crying or hearing of you crying from anyone, he figured that you had about the emotional range of a teaspoon. 

But here you were tears sliding solemnly down your cheeks, moonlight causing the drops to shimmer like rare gems. 

"Is this some sick kill list or something?" 

No response, just tears, leaking silently from your deep y/e/c eyes. 

"Because if you mess with him I swear-" 

A choked laugh escaped you crimson lips, your tongue swiping some lipstick from them. "I'm not going to hurt you brother." You then handed him the note and turned, your back facing the window you were gazing from and sliding to the floor. 

Above you Sirius eyes widened as he read the note left by your mother before processing the list below. 

He glanced down at you, your mascara was leaking slightly from the corner of your eyes, your hair was a bit tangled, your hand wrapped around the neck of your bottle as you brought it to your lips, leaving a bit of deep red lipstick on its rim. He recognized the look on your face. It was completely vacant, despite the tears, no emotion lived in your features. 

Your eyes blank and staring, mouth a straight line, not turning up or down. Your whole face was simply empty. Sirius remembered seeing that face in his mirror after he received a letter from home. And he knew that you felt how you looked. Empty.

He sighed, sliding to the floor beside you. Your long black nails came to your face furiously wiping at the tears on your cheek, refusing to meet his eye. 

"I know this doesn't matter to you but 11 guys wanting to marry you is pretty good." Sirius shrugged attempting to lighten your mood

You emitted what was either a sob or a laugh, he couldn't tell, "There were more, my mom cut out the ones that she didn't think were 'acceptable'" you made air quotes with your hands. 

"Damn." The Gryffindor huffed, "What does the circle around Regs name mean?" He asked he didn't want to push you but he had to know. Because for some reason, he didn't want it to mean what he thought it did. 

You fidgeted with the end of your jacket, leaning your head back against the rock wall behind you. "He's my top choice." You mumbled, blushing a bit, another thing that Sirius had never seen you do, even when your sex life became everyone's life. 

Sirius cringed, feeling dread soak into his bones and fill him to the brim, the idea of the y/h/c in front of him marrying his younger brother made him sick. "W-why?" He stumbled lightly over his words as they seemed to get caught in his throat. 

You finally met his eyes, they seemed to swirl with different shades of grey like a hurricane with a black eye. 

"I don't know." You voice was rough, sounded like it was a tap away from breaking, "Hes nice, polite, attractive. He's not a complete perv." 

Sirius now wore a sly smirk, the corners of his lips curving up neatly, "You think Regulus is attractive?" 

You rolled your eyes, "Yes, of course I do, jawline like that don't grow on trees." 

Sirius let out a barking laugh, you could feel his shoulder shake beside you. 

You exhaled loudly rolling your eyes again before handing the bottle to Sirius. He glanced at the almost empty bottle than back at you eyebrows raised in a silent question. 

You shrugged, "High tolerance." 

"You know that isn't good right?" 

"No Black," you drawled sarcastically, "I'm as stupid as you are."

He smacked his hand to his chest and mimicked a shocked expression you felt your eyes roll instinctively in their sockets. 

He dropped the act and chuckled finishing off the bottle with a final swig. "So if you think my brothers hot, where does that leave me?" 

"God Black, don't you think your head is big enough already?" You inquired, raising an eyebrow. 

"Humor me." He smiled pulling out a pack of smokes. 

You took a cigarette, holding it out for him to light, "Fine, yes you are extremely attractive." 

He flashed a set of pearly straight teeth, the warm orange light from his lighter reflecting from them as he lit the smoke you held out to him. 

"How bout me?" You asked after taking a huff and watching as the smoke from your exhale trailed away. 

Sirisu hummed in confusion.

"You know, humor me, how attractive am I?" You asked nonchalantly.

Sirius suddenly felt color rise to his cheeks, he hoped you would blame it on the alcohol. The truth was no girls really asked him what he thought. Well that's a lie, they ask if he thought they were pretty all the time. Asked if he thought they were good enough. But never like this. They all cared, they would burst into tears if he answered wrong. They would hate him for an answer and love him for another. 

But not you. You didn't care in the slightest. He could have said he would have rather fucked a lizard than you and you would have shrugged and continued with the conversation. And something about that made Sirius flush. 

"Well? Don't tell me I'm that bad." You giggled, although your tolerance was high, the alcohol was definitely getting to you. 

Sirius quickly gained back his charms, "My dear y/n, trust me you are gorgeous." 

"Thank you." You smiled suggestively adding a wink that made Sirius stomach fill with wings. 

There was a long pause, the sound of crickets and small frogs chirping faint in your ears. Smoke drifted from the room as a crisp chill filled the air. 

Finally Sirius spoke, "So your really gonna marry my brother?" 

You cringed at the word marry scratching at your wrist nervously, "I guess so. What other choice do I have?" 

"You could leave." Sirius muttered putting out his cigarette on the wall behind him. 

"No I can't." You all but whispered.

"Yes you can y/n, no offense but your parents are assholes, you don't need them."

"No Sirius!" You yelled voice loud and echoing off the open room, "I can't." Your voice had dropped once again, your words almost inaudible."I can't." You repeated face once again empty of emotion. He watched in horror as you put your smoke out on your own skin. He could hear it sizzle in protest for just a moment before the small orange glow disappeared. 

"Why?" He asked annoyed, "What are you scared?" 

"Yes!" You shouted. Sirius' eyes widened in surprise and for a brief moment fear as you turned toward him in anger. "You wanna know why I can't leave? Because last time I tried to leave I almost died!"

Sirius eyes filled with guilt. His annoyed look turning to one of pity. 

"You think I haven't tried to leave? I have! The second my mom mentioned marriage I packed my bags! But when my mother and father caught me trying to sneak out they used two of three of the unforgivable curses on me to get me to stay!"

Sirius winced, feeling the pain from far away memories returning to him. 

"So I can't leave. They'll kill me. I know they will." 

Sirius said nothing. He simply sat staring straight ahead. You expected him to say some inspirational bullshit or just tell you to go for it, but he didn't. He just handed you another cigarette and lit it for you. 

Your face had been sucked of all signs emotion except for one tear rolling slowly down you right cheek. It had cooled from the midnight air and now felt like a drop of ice slowly melting down your warm cheeks. 

You could feel the alcohol slowly affecting you as if it was finally catching up with you. You could feel the rational parts of yourself drift away and just then it was occurring to you that you had been irrational since the long haired boy walked in. You turned towards him, head fuzzy, stomach buzzing, and he turned to you. 

Your eyes locked grey staring into y/e/c as y/e/c stared into grey. You blinked twice, attempting to make a decision. All you could think about was how empty you felt. How much you wanted to feel something. Sirius could do that. He could make you feel something. Something. 

Your lips connected with his sloppily, your nose bumping his, as you dropped your smoke, hands connecting with his hair as he fought for dominance in your mouth. You didn't taste anything but fire whiskey and cigarettes, nothing different than what you tasted of. His tongue explored your mouth as Sirius pulled you onto his lap. You felt his hands roam your body enjoying they pressure they held on your hips as his lips passed down your neck. Seconds before your memory fade to black, you remembered thinking how much different Sirius' hands felt on your skin than anyone else. 

You woke to a familiar sight. Well by familiar you mean unfamiliar, but unfamiliar had become familiar to you. You could feel a warm arm wrapped around your bare waist, your head pounding behind your eyes as a bare chest pressed to your back. 

You could also hear whispers. They were hushed and quick, you could only make out a few words.

"How did he-" a pause of mumbles 

"That's so-" more incoherent words, "I mean what about the…" the murmurs sunk to low for your ears to pick up. 

You opened your eyes slowly opened, you turned to see three boys who you recognized immediately staring at you. They all flushed realizing you were awake but before they could speak you brought your finger to your mouth. 

"Be quiet." You hissed dangerously, wincing at the sudden stab behind your head. 

They all nodded slowly, wide eyes trading for confused ones. You slowly slipped from the bed, doing everything in your power to not wake the boy sleeping next to you. 

You let out a sigh of relief hearing Sirius snore quietly, something you found yourself thinking was adorable. You turned to see the three boys staring at you in awe, shot them a smirk as you gathered your clothes sliding on your panties and bra. You could feel their eyes follow you around the room, honestly you didn't mind in the slightest. 

You turned after grabbing your jeans they were all bright red, James smirking as the other two refused to meet your eye. You felt your lips twitch into a wolfish grin. 

"Enjoy it while you can boys, this will be the last time you see it." 

James let out a hearty laugh as Peter looked away Remus blushing amazingly red. 

"Except you." You pointed at the werewolf "You might see this again." You winked as he sputtered for words.

You slid on your t-shirt snatching your jacket from the ground. "Hopefully I'll see some of you again very soon." you winked, eyes locked with Remus as he grew impossibly warmer. 

You then walked promptly from the dorm room, earning a few glances, but you didn't care, you walked swiftly to your own common room, muttering the password and entering. A few first years looked up before whispering to each other. You rolled your eyes heading to your dorm. You were greeted by a pissed off pair of deep brown eyes adorned in yellow robes.

"You said you would study with me this morning!" Harper scrolled you. 

"I can still study!" You fought back, calling on to your bed.

"Please." Your friend scoffed, "Your hung over and what ever boy you got back from fucking is going to wake up and look for you." 

You laughed, "Please." 

"They always look for you because your too pussy to tell them you only wanted to get laid."

"Trust me this guy is not going to look for me." You assured her as you stood rummaging through your things for something to dull the pain in your head. 

"They always look." Harper said with a roll of her eyes.

"This guy won't." You promised tossing back some advils you found.

"Is he dead?" She asked sarcastically. 

"No." 

"Then he'll look for you." She stated matter of factly. 

"Look its Sirius Black he's not going to look for anyone." You sighed, and for some reason this realization brought you nothing but pain. The idea of him not caring hurt. But you weren't sure why. It's not like you cared. 

"You slept with Black?" Harper gasped.

"Yes" you rolled your eyes, "Half the school has done it, it's not that big of an accomplishment." 

Harper let out a magnificent laugh, "That's true. Now come on, if you can study, let's study." 

It was in your firm belief that Sirius would not look for you, talk to you or even mention you, but boy did you wish he would. As you walked down to the library you found your self craning your neck to catch a glimpse of his glossy black hair or his dashing grin. But you saw no such thing, he didn't care. You reminded yourself, and neither do you.

You had run into the younger Black brother though. He had greeted you and Harper politely despite the Hufflepuffs half-blood status. He had even carried the books you had been struggling with for you. He walked you to the library sharing a small conversation before heading to breakfast.

"Are you gonna choose him?" Harper asked, "He gives off like a mysterious, proper sorta vibe."

You darkened slightly at the memory of choosing your betrothed, making Harper regret her decision on topics of decisions, mumbling an apology. 

You waved her off, "I don't know." Your awnser was honest, you had no fucking clue. 

"Well, I think Black is a pretty good choice, he's nice, he's polite, not to mention really hot." She shrugged attempting to lighten the mood. 

"Yeah he is." You hummed thinking of a different Black. 

Harper didn't miss the distance your eyes held. Something was up with you. Not just the shit with your family but something else. 

But before she could ask a booming voice called out your name. 

Both girls turned to meet eyes with four boys. Two hanging back slightly as the other two headed straight towards your table. 

"They always look." Harper mumbled beside you, but you couldn't hear her over the rushing in your ears. Your heart began to speed as the pair of grey eyes you had looked for this morning shined brightly at you. 

"Yes, Black?" You asked casually as if you didn't feel like suddenly throwing up. 

"Left quite early this morning." He sneered playfully plopping into the chair next to you. 

"Well your snoring woke me." You lied turning back to your work attempting to ignore the pressure his stare held on you. 

"Also gave the boys quite a show." He shrugged, "Didn't know you were into Remus." 

You ignored Harpers confused glance and Remus' flushing face behind you. 

"Please." You scoffed, "We all know I'm flirty by nature." 

Sirius felt his heart squeezed, he really didn't mean anything to you. Who cares you didn't mean anything to him. "I guess we do." He huffed feeling suddenly overwhelmly sad. He glanced up at you, your y/h/c hair framing your soft face, y/e/c eyes glinting your pretty pink lips pulled to a lopsided grin. God how he wanted to feel them against his skin again. 

"Is there a reason for your visit?" You asked impatiently, not liking the queasy feeling that his presence gave you. 

"Oh, umm y-yes." Siriua stumbled on his words. "I have your jacket." He shoved the leather jacket he was holding at you. "I think you have mine." 

You flushed, "Oh, sorry, it's in my room. I can go get it I'd you-" 

"Its fine." Sirius assured you, placing his hand on your shoulder. The touch felt electric, like a spark that will set off a bomb. Sirius eyes roamed you landing on the dark marks he left on the open skin on your neck. You bathed in crimson when you noticed where his eyes lingered. 

"Sirius!" James voice brought him back to reality. The boy removed his hand from your shoulder and snapped his eyes back to your own. 

"I'm, I'm sorry." He stuttered scratching the back of his neck. 

"It's fine." You smiled weakly. 

"So um I'll, I'll just go." He tumbled banging his knee as he stood, he swore as James let out a barking laugh. 

"Wait what about your jacket?" Harper called after him.

"Just bring it to me whenever." He spoke hurriedly, he needed to get out of there. 

You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding when he exited the room. 

Harper looked at your eyebrows raised.

"What?" You asked attempting to turn your attention back to your essay. 

"You're blushing." She pointed out, "You never blush." 

"I am not blushing." You huffed angrily even though you could feel your face glow. 

"Yeah sure." Harper drawled eyeing you skeptically.

"I'm not!" You exclaimed.

"Totally." She said narrowing her eyes. 

"Stop saying it like that!" You shouted.

"Like what." 

You let out a frustrated whimper grabbing your things and heading for the doors. "I was not blushing!" You added quickly before retreating to your common room, cheeks still burning. 

The next week was weird, it was like someone had flipped a switch to make you like everyone else. 

Suddenly you became awkward and clumsy, you blushed and stuttered when you were nervous. It was all so strange and awkward and it was all because of him. 

Sirius Blafk had done something to you. You didn't know what it was and you did not care for it in the slightest. Every Time you saw him you hated the way you looked. You suddenly began to wonder if your makeup was too dark or if your hair was too messy. When you passed him in the hall, you felt your throat close and your stomach do flips. 

In charms you couldn't focus anymore. He was alway right across from you laughing with his friends and playing pranks on Snape. You were now constantly biting your long nails, something you had never done before, you had begun to find your mind wandering subjects you didn't want it to. It was if you had lost all control of your thoughts. And you had. 

Sirius found himself in a similar situation. Suddenly your image planted itself into his brain and your voice rang in your ears. He saw you everywhere. The more he tried to get you away from him, the closer you became. He had become moody, everything would make him feel something, every little thing made him fight with an emotion, he wasn't accustomed to so much ... feeling. It was like someone had turned into a fourteen year old girl. It was terrible. To make things worse you were always with someone else, something that made him feel unexplainable fury. Every Time he saw you giggle with Avery or smile at Diggory his heart would clench, pausing slightly before he continued on, his mood soured. To make things worse Regulus never seemed to leave your side. He was carrying your books to class, sitting with you at meals, studying with you in the library. Why did Regulus get to do all that? Why did his little brother get to bathe in the light of your smile so often? That wasn't fair.

The rest of the marauders had noticed the long haired boys sudden mood changes. They had first though he had just had a bad day, but when a day stretched to a week, they had grown concerned. Remus was of course the first to identify the cause, with James lost in emerald eyes, and Peter busy being about as observant as a brick wall, it was pretty much his obligation to do so. He noticed the way Sirius's eyes lingered on you, how he soaked in your form as you passed in the corridor. He saw how Sirius would glare at boys you spoke to, specifically his little brother who seemed to be near you at all times. It didn't take the young werewolf long to put two and two together. Upon his new discovery, he began to pay more and more attention to you. 

He noticed how you avoided Sirius at all costs, he saw the way you blushed when Sirius laughed around you. He also caught you staring across the charms room at the long haired boy when he wasn't paying attention. Everything you did confused him. Because while Sirius seemed head over heels, you either hated him or loved him. It was hard to tell. 

But it wasn't for Harper. She knew you were in love with the older Black brother the second he walked into that library. You didn't even have to do anything. You simply looked at him and she could tell. It was like some alarm going off in her head, telling her what was up. When Harpet first realized this, she attempted to tell herself that she was wrong, it was silly, you didn't 'love'. But then she watched as you blushed and watched and avoided, and she knew you were deep in it. Harper was terrified to bring it up with you. She knew that in a way you already knew, but if she brought it up, made you truly realize, things could get ugly. 

But she couldn't wait any longer. You had to see what was in front of you or you would only get hurt. 

So now the burnet Hufflepuff, paced nervously in your dorm waiting for you to come in. She had a plan in her head, but it still didn't change the fact that she was a nervous wreck. 

Most people would constantly tease their friend if they believed them to be in love, but with you love wasn't an option, you had obligations, not feelings. In fact, you didn't even believe in love. You treated it like some superstition. It wasn't real to you. Not like she could blame you, you were going to be forced to marry some guy you definitely didn't want to at age 17, your parents the same way, and their parents and their parents and their parents. It was a never ending cycle of loveless life. 

Harpers frantic thoughts were interrupted by a loud thump. The girl turned to see you ditching your bag on the floor and huffing to your bed. You fell on to your mattress blankets ripping slightly like someone had tossed a pebble into a smooth lake.

"You okay?" Harper asked cautiously. 

You sat up meeting the pair of green eye scanning you in concern. "Marleen is such a bitch." You stated beginning to pick at your nails. 

"Can't disagree with that." Harper chuckled, "What she do now?" 

"She said I was Sirius 'sloppy seconds' which makes literatly 0 sense. And now she's pinning after him again." You seethed angrily.

"You're in love with him aren't you?" 

Harper's plan just crashed through the window. 

"What?!" You exclaimed."In love? With who? Black!? Never!" 

"Y/n/n, it's not a bad thing to be in love." Harper spoke calmly attempting to soothe your fury. 

"I'm not in love! Love is bullshit!" You had how risen from the bed, your hand clenched into fists beside you.

"Y/n I see the way you look at him I'm not blind! You love him! You get all flustered and weird around him, and I know you know what's going on, you just are too scared to admit it." 

"I'm not scared of shit. I know who I am and what I feel and I'm going to tell you this one time. I. Don't. Love." 

"Everyone loves y/n!" Harper heaved, her eyes desperate for you to understand. How could you not see what was in front of you. But she knew you were blinded by fear. Fear of what most craved. 

"What the hell would you know about love?!" Your voice echoed off the stone walls of the small room, reminding Harper of a jail cell. 

"Clearly more than you!" She huffed back anger sewn delicately into each word she spoke. 

"You will never know more than me you worthless HALFBLOOD!" You spat the last word of your damaging sentence as if it were a bitter taste you were attempting to ride your tongue of. 

Harpera eyes flashed with fear. Not fear of some asshole who you had to kick the shot out of, not of Malfoy, not of one of one of the  boys who had suddenly become aggressive in there chase after you. But fear oif you. She was afraid of you.

The fear left her eyes and was replaced by fury and disgust in a second. Harper walk straight to you practically shaking with rage and she slapped you across your face. You gasped head turning from the impact of her hand. When you turned back she was already practically out of the door. You felt tears slip from your eyes and you shrunk to the floor clutching your cheek. 

It wasn't the pain that hurt. Well it was but it wasn't the pain from the slap. It was the pain that the look in Harpers eyes sent through you. It was the pain from the momentarily fear that ripped through her. It was the pain of you realizing you had just lost your only true friend. 

Your body shook with sobs, the force of your tears making breaths hard to gather. Suddenly the door to your dormitory burst open. 

"Holy shit y/n/n."

You could hardly hear the voice over the echo of your own sobs. But soon a pair of arms wrapped slowly around you lifting you slowly from the floor. You buried your face into the cloak of the boy who now held you in his arms. You took a sharp breath of alcohol and smoke, with an undertone of chocolate.

(Well fuck I hit the word limit. Click THIS for Ending.)

Taglist

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#sirius black imagines #sirius black x oc #sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius black x marlene mckinnon #sirius black x remus lupin #regulus black imagines #regulus black x reader #remus lupin imagines #remus lupin x oc #remus lupin x reader #sirius balck x you #marauders imagines #marauders au #marauders era #marauders roleplay #harry potter imagine #harry potter #harry potter imagines #harry potter au #remus x sirius #remus #draco imagines #draco x reader #draco malfoy imagines #draco x oc #draco malfoy x reader #fred weasley imagines

[tinyshe]

Pure, Unalloyed Evil Masked as a Pandemic Analysis by Mike Whitney

“Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” William Shakespeare, The Tempest

Mike Yeadon is a soft-spoken microbiologist and a former vice-president of allergy and respiratory research at Pfizer. He spent 32 years working for large pharmaceutical companies and is a leading expert on viral respiratory infections.

He is also a man on a mission, and his mission is to inform as many people as possible about the elite powerbrokers that are using the pandemic as a smokescreen to conceal their real objectives. Here’s Yeadon in a recent interview:1

“If you wanted to depopulate a significant portion of the world, and to do it in a way that wouldn’t require destruction of the environment with nuclear weapons, or poisoning everyone with anthrax or something, and you wanted plausible deniability, whilst you had a multi-year infectious disease crisis; I don’t think you could come up with a better plan of work than what seems to be in front of me.

I can’t say that’s what they’re going to do, but I cannot think of a benign explanation for why they are doing it.”

“Depopulation?” Who said anything about depopulation? Isn’t it a bit of a stretch to go from a mass vaccination campaign to allegations of a conspiracy to “depopulate a significant portion of the world?” Indeed, it is, but Yeadon has done extensive research on the matter and provides compelling evidence that such a diabolical objective may, in fact, be the goal.

Humans Are Capable of Unimaginable Viciousness and Cruelty

Moreover, it is not for lack of proof that people are not persuaded that Yeadon is right, but something more fundamental; the inability to grasp that men are capable of almost-unimaginable viciousness and cruelty. Here’s Yeadon again:2

“It’s become absolutely clear to me, even when I talk to intelligent people, friends, acquaintances … and they can tell I’m telling them something important, but they get to the point [where I say] ‘your government is lying to you in a way that could lead to your death and that of your children,’ and they can’t begin to engage with it.

And I think maybe 10% of them understand what I said, and 90% of those blank their understanding of it because it is too difficult. And my concern is, we are going to lose this, because people will not deal with the possibility that anyone is so evil …

But I remind you of what happened in Russia in the 20th century, what happened in 1933 to 1945, what happened in, you know, Southeast Asia in some of the most awful times in the post-war era. And, what happened in China with Mao and so on … We’ve only got to look back two or three generations. All around us there are people who are as bad as the people doing this.

They’re all around us. So, I say to folks, the only thing that really marks this one out, is its scale. But actually, this is probably less bloody, it’s less personal, isn’t it? The people who are steering this … it’s going to be much easier for them. They don’t have to shoot anyone in the face.

They don’t have to beat someone to death with a baseball bat, or freeze them, starve them, make them work until they die. All of those things did happen two or three generations back … That’s how close we are. And all I’m saying is, some shifts like that are happening again, but now they are using molecular biology.”

People ‘Cannot Imagine Anything so Demonic’

He’s right, isn’t he? Whereas, a great many people know that the government, the media and the public health officials have been lying to them about everything from the efficacy of masks, social distancing and lockdowns, to the life-threatening dangers of experimental vaccines, they still refuse to believe that the people orchestrating this operation might be pushing them inexorably toward infertility or an early death.

They cannot imagine anything so demonic, so they stick their heads in the sand and pretend not to see what is going on right beneath their noses. It’s called “denial” and it is only strengthening the position of the puppet masters that are operating behind the scenes. Here’s more from Yeadon:3

“… In the last year I have realized that my government and its advisers are lying in the faces of the British people about everything to do with this coronavirus. Absolutely everything. It’s a fallacy this idea of asymptomatic transmission and that you don’t have symptoms, but you are a source of a virus.

That lockdowns work, that masks have a protective value obviously for you or someone else, and that variants are scary things and we even need to close international borders in case some of these nasty foreign variants get in.”

Many readers may have noticed that this interview appeared on a small Christian website called Lifesite News. Why is that? Shouldn’t the informed observations of a former Pfizer vice president appear on the front pages of The New York Times or The Washington Post? Wouldn’t you expect the big cable news channels to run a hot-button interview like this as their headline story?

Of course not. No one expects that, because everyone knows that the media honchos reflexively quash any story that doesn’t support the “official narrative,” that is, that COVID is the most contagious and lethal virus of all time, which requires a new authoritarian political structure and the wholesale evisceration of civil liberties.

No One Is Allowed to Refute the Official Propaganda

Isn’t that the underlying storyline of the last year? COVID skeptics and naysayers, like Yeadon, are not allowed to refute the official propaganda or debate the issue on a public forum. They’re effectively banned from the MSM and consigned to the outer reaches of the Internet where only a scattered few will read what they have to say. Here’s more:4

“Everything I have told you, every single one of those things is demonstrably false. But our entire national policy is based on these all being broadly right, but they are all wrong. But what I would like to do is talk about immune escape because I think that’s probably going to be the end game for this whole event, which I think is probably a conspiracy.

Last year I thought it was what I called ‘convergent opportunism.’ That is, a bunch of different stakeholder groups have managed to pounce on a world in chaos to push us in a particular direction. So, it looked like it was kind of linked, but I was prepared to say it was just convergence.

I [now] think that’s naïve. There is no question in my mind that very significant powerbrokers around the world have either planned to take advantage of the next pandemic or created the pandemic. One of those two things is true because the reason it must be true is that dozens and dozens of governments are all saying the same lies and doing the same inefficacious things that demonstrably cost lives.”

Let’s pause for a minute, and ask ourselves why a modest, self-effacing microbiologist who operated in the shadows for his entire professional career has thrust himself into the limelight when he knows, for certain, he will either be ridiculed, smeared, discredited, dragged through the mud or killed.

In fact, he openly admits that he fears for his safety and assumes that he could be “removed” (“assassinated”) by his enemies. So, why is he doing this? Why is he risking life and limb to get the word out about vaccines?

A Moral Obligation to Warn People

It’s because he feels a moral obligation to warn people about the danger they face. Yeadon is not an attention-seeking narcissist. In fact, he’d rather vanish from public life altogether.

But he’s not going to do that because he’s selflessly committed to doing his duty by sounding the alarm about a malign strategy that may well lead to the suffering and death of literally tens of millions of people. That’s why he’s doing it, because he’s an honorable man with a strong sense of decency. Remember decency? Here’s more:5

“You can see that I am desperately trying not to say that it is a conspiracy, because I have no direct evidence that it is a conspiracy. Personally, all my instincts are shouting that it’s a conspiracy as a human being, but as a scientist, I can’t point to the smoking gun that says they made this up on purpose.”

Many of us who have followed events closely for the last year and have searched the internet for alternate points of view are equally convinced that it is a conspiracy, just as Russiagate was a conspiracy. And while we might not have conclusive, rock-solid proof of criminal activity, there is voluminous circumstantial evidence to support the claim.

By definition, a “conspiracy” is “an evil, unlawful, treacherous, or surreptitious plan formulated in secret by two or more persons.”6 What is taking place presently across the western world meets that basic definition.

Just as the contents of this article meet the basic definition of a “conspiracy theory,” which is “an attempt to explain harmful or tragic events as the result of the actions of a small powerful group. Such explanations reject the accepted narrative surrounding those events; indeed, the official version may be seen as further proof of the conspiracy.”7

We make no attempt to deny that this is a conspiracy theory, any more than we deny that senior-level officials at the FBI, CIA, DOJ and U.S. State Department were involved in a covert operation aimed at convincing the American people that Donald Trump was a Russian agent.

That was a conspiracy theory that was later proven to be a fact. We expect that the facts about the COVID operation will eventually emerge, acquitting us on that account as well. Here’s more from Yeadon:8

“I think the end game is going to be, ‘everyone receives a vaccine’ … Everyone on the planet is going to find themselves persuaded, cajoled, not quite mandated, hemmed-in to take a jab.

When they do that every single individual on the planet will have a name, or unique digital ID and a health status flag which will be ‘vaccinated,’ or not … and whoever possesses that, sort of single database, operable centrally, applicable everywhere to control, to provide as it were, a privilege, you can either cross this particular threshold or conduct this particular transaction or not depending on [what] the controllers of that one human population database decide.

And I think that’s what this is all about because once you’ve got that, we become playthings and the world can be as the controllers of that database want it.”

Mass Vaccination a Pathway to Absolute Social Control

So mass vaccination is actually the pathway to absolute social control by technocratic elites accountable to no one? Are we there yet? Pretty close, I’d say. Here’s more:9

“And they are talking the same sort of future script which is, ‘We don’t want you to move around because of these pesky ‘variants’ — (but) ‘don’t worry, there will be ‘top-up’ vaccines that will cope with the potential escapees.’ They’re all saying this when it is obviously nonsense.”

Is he right? Is the variant hobgoblin now being invoked to prolong the restrictions, intensify the paranoia and pave the way for endless rounds of mass vaccination? Judge for yourself, but here’s a sampling of articles that appeared in recent news that will help you decide:

1. Reuters — South African Variant Can ‘Break Through’ Pfizer Vaccine, Israeli study says10

“The coronavirus variant discovered in South Africa can ‘break through’ Pfizer/BioNTech’s COVID-19 vaccine to some extent, a real-world data study in Israel found, though its prevalence in the country is low and the research has not been peer reviewed …

We found a disproportionately higher rate of the South African variant among people vaccinated with a second dose, compared to the unvaccinated group. This means that the South African variant is able, to some extent, to break through the vaccine’s protection,” said Tel Aviv University’s Adi Stern. (So, according to the article — the vaccine doesn’t work.)

2. The New York Times — Rise of Variants in Europe Shows How Dangerous the Virus Can Be11

“Europe, the epicenter of the coronavirus pandemic last spring, has once again swelled with new cases, which are inundating some local hospitals and driving a worrisome global surge of Covid-19.

But this time, the threat is different: The rise in new cases is being propelled by a coronavirus variant first seen in Britain and known as B.1.1.7. The variant is not only more contagious than last year’s virus, but also deadlier.

The variant is now spreading in at least 114 countries. Nowhere, though, are its devastating effects as visible as in Europe, where thousands are dying each day and countries’ already-battered economies are once again being hit by new restrictions on daily life …

Vaccines will eventually defeat the variants, scientists say. [So, they don’t work now??] And stringent restrictions can drive down cases of B.1.1.7. [So, don’t leave your home.] …

‘We’ve seen in so many countries how quickly it can become dominant,’ said Lone Simonsen, a professor and director of the PandemiX Center at Roskilde University in Denmark.

‘And when it dominates, it takes so much more effort to maintain epidemic control than was needed with the old variant.’” [In other words, we are effectively dealing with a different pathogen that requires a different antidote. It’s an admission that the current crop of vaccines doesn’t work.]

3. Cell — SARS-CoV-2 Variants B.1.351 and P.1 Escape From Neutralizing Antibodies12

“… our findings indicate that the B.1.351 and P.1 variants might be able to spread in convalescent patients or BNT162b2-vaccinated individuals and thus constitute an elevated threat to human health.

Containment of these variants by non-pharmaceutic interventions is an important task.” [Note — In other words, the new vaccines don’t work against the new COVID strains, so we might need to preserve the onerous lockdown restrictions forever.]

How can people read this fearmongering bunkum and not see that it is designed to terrify and manipulate the masses into sheeplike compliance?

Variant Being Used to Fuel COVID Hysteria

There’s no denying that the variant is being used to fuel the COVID hysteria and perpetuate the repressive social restrictions. So, the question we should be asking ourselves is whether we can trust what we are being told by the media and the public health officials?

And the answer is “No,” we cannot trust them. They have repeatedly misled the public on all manner of topics including masks, asymptomatic transmission, immunity, infection fatality rate, social distancing and now variants. According to Sunetra Gupta, who is professor of theoretical epidemiology in the Department of Zoology at the University of Oxford, and a Royal Society Wolfson Research Fellow:13

“… some of these variants could be more transmissible, but the truth is … even with a marginal increase in transmissibility … that does not have much of a material effect or difference in how we deal with the virus. In other words, the surge of the virus cannot be ascribed to a new variant …

The other question is are these variants more virulent, and the truth is we don’t know, but it is unlikely because the data don’t seem to say so despite the scary headlines … Pathogens tend to evolve toward lower virulence … because that maximizes their transmissibility … It is much more probable that these strains will not be materially so different that we would have to alter our policies.”

So, according to Gupta, even if the new strains of COVID are more transmissible, it is highly unlikely that they are more lethal. Here’s more on the topic from diagnostic pathologist Dr. Clare Craig, who provides a more technical explanation:14

“SARS-CoV-2 genetic sequence has ~30,000 letters. Alterations in a handful of letters will not change it’s shape much — if it did it wouldn’t function properly anyway. Fear mongering about immune escape is not needed and is irresponsible especially when no evidence to support the claims.”

In essence, Craig is saying the same thing we said earlier, that the slight mutations to the infection will not impact the immune reaction of people who already had the virus. Thus, the current crop of “variants” should not be a cause for alarm. If you have already had COVID or if you already have prior immunity due to previous exposure to similar infections, (SARS, for example) the new strain should not be a problem.

It should also not be a problem if the new vaccines provide the type of broad-based immunity that one should expect of them. Again, the mutations represent only the slightest change in the composition of the pathogen (less than 1%), which means that — if the vaccines don’t work — they are, in effect, useless.

Media Misstating Science to Terrify the Public

Here’s a longer explanation that some readers might find overly technical and perhaps tedious, but it’s worth wading through in order to see that the media is deliberately misstating the science to terrify the public. This excerpt is from an article by Yeadon. Here’s what he said:15

“The idea is planted in people’s mind that this virus is mutating in such a way as to evade prior immunity. This is completely unfounded, certainly as regards immunity … (that is) gained naturally, after repelling the virus … It’s important to appreciate that upon infection, the human immune system cuts up an infectious agent into short pieces.

Each of these short pieces of protein are presented to other cells in the immune system, like an identity parade … These have a range of functions. Some make antibodies & others are programmed to kill cells infected by the virus, recognized by displaying on their surface signals that tell the body that they’ve been invaded.

In almost all cases … this smart adaptive system overcomes the infection. Crucially … this event leaves you with many different kinds of long-lived ‘memory’ cells which, if you’re infected again, rapidly wipe out any attempt at reinfection.

So, you won’t again be made ill by the same virus, and because the virus is simply not permitted to replicate, you are also no longer able to participate in transmission … The general ‘direction of travel’ (for viruses) is to become less injurious but easier to transmit, eventually joining the other 40 or so viruses which cause what we collectively term ‘the common cold.’

What generally doesn’t happen is for mutants to become more lethal to the hosts (us). But the key point I wanted to get across is just how large SARS-COV-2 is. I recall it’s of the order of 30,000 letters of genetic code which, when translated, make around 10,000 amino acids in several viral proteins.

Now you can see that the kinds of numbers of changes in the letters of the genetic code are truly tiny in comparison with the whole. 30 letter changes might be roughly 0.1% of the virus’s code. In other words, 99.9% of that code is not different from the so-called Wuhan strain.

Similarly, the changes in the protein translated from those letter code alterations are overwhelmed by the vast majority of the unchanged protein sequences. So your immune system, recognizing as it does perhaps dozens of short pieces … will not be fooled by a couple of small changes to a tiny fraction of these.

No: your immune system knows immediately that this is an invader it’s seen before, and has no difficulty whatsoever in dealing with it swiftly & without symptoms. So, it’s a scientifically invalid …

… even if mutations did change a couple of these, the majority of the pieces … of the mutated virus will still be unchanged & recognized by the vaccine-immune system or the virus-infected immune system & a prompt, vigorous response will still protect you.”

Why Are Public Health Officials and the Media Lying?

Let’s summarize: We have presented the informed views of three reputable scientists all of who explicitly refute the idea that the so called “variants:”

Are more lethal

Have the potential to reinfect people who have already had COVID

Have mutated enough to reinfect people who have already been vaccinated (unless, of course) the vaccine does not provide broad-based immunity to begin with (which is possible since Phase 3 long-term trials were never conducted).

So, why are the public health officials and the media lying about this matter, which is fairly clear-cut and uncontroversial? That is the question.

Yeadon concludes that there is something flagrantly diabolical about their denial. He thinks they are lying in order to dupe more people into getting injected with a substance that will either render them infertile, cause them great bodily harm or kill them outright. Take your pick. Here’s more:16

“The eugenicists have got hold of the levers of power and this is a really artful way of getting you to line-up and receive some unspecified thing that will damage you. I have no idea what it will actually be, but it won’t be a vaccine because you don’t need one. And it won’t kill you on the end of the needle because you would spot that.

It could be something that will produce normal pathology, it will be at various times between vaccination and the event, it will be plausibly deniable because there will be something else going on in the world at that time, in the context of which your demise, or that of your children will look normal.

That’s what I would do if I wanted to get rid of 90 or 95% of the world’s population. And I think that’s what they’re doing.”

“The eugenicists have got hold of the levers of power?” Has Yeadon gone mad?

Has the pressure of the global pandemic pushed him off the deep end or is he “on to something” big, something that no one even dares to even think about; a plan so dark and sinister that its implementation would constitute the most grievous and coldblooded crime against humanity of all time; the injection of billions of people with a toxic elixir whose spike protein dramatically compromises their immune systems clearing the way for agonizing widespread suffering followed by mountains of carnage?

There are others, however, who see a connection between the current vaccination campaign and “the eugenicists.” In fact, Dr. Joseph Mercola points to the link between the lead developer of the AstraZeneca vaccine, Adrian Hill, and the Eugenics movement. According to Mercola:

“Hill gave a lecture at the Galton Institute (which was known as the U.K. Eugenics Society) in 2008 for its 100-year anniversary. As noted in Webb’s article:17

‘Arguably most troubling of all is the direct link of the vaccine’s lead developers to the Wellcome Trust and, in the case of Adrian Hill, the Galton Institute, two groups with longstanding ties to the UK eugenics movement.

The latter organization, named for the ‘father of eugenics’ Francis Galton, is the renamed U.K. Eugenics Society, a group notorious for over a century for its promotion of racist pseudoscience and efforts to ‘improve racial stock’ by reducing the population of those deemed inferior.

The ties of Adrian Hill to the Galton Institute should raise obvious concerns given the push to make the Oxford-AstraZeneca vaccine he developed with [Sarah] Gilbert the vaccine of choice for the developing world, particularly countries in Latin America, South and Southeast Asia, and Africa, the very areas where the Galton Institute’s past members have called for reducing population growth …

Emeritus professor of molecular genetics at the Galton Institute and one of its officers is none other than David J. Galton, whose work includes ‘Eugenics: The Future of Human Life in the 21st Century.’

David Galton has written that the Human Genome Mapping Project… had ‘enormously increased … the scope for eugenics … because of the development of a very powerful technology for the manipulation of DNA.’

This new ‘wider definition of eugenics,’ Galton has said, ‘would cover methods of regulating population numbers as well as improving genome quality by selective artificial insemination by donor, gene therapy or gene manipulation of germ-line cells.’ In expanding on this new definition, Galton is neutral as to ‘whether some methods should be made compulsory by the state, or left entirely to the personal choice of the individual.

… The Wellcome Centre regularly cofunds the research and development of vaccines and birth control methods with … a foundation (name withheld) that actively and admittedly engages in population and reproductive control in Africa and South Asia by, among other things, prioritizing the widespread distribution of injectable long-acting reversible contraceptives (LARCs).

The Wellcome Trust has also directly funded studies that sought to develop methods to ‘improve uptake’ of LARCs in places such as rural Rwanda…’ LARCs afford women in the Global South ‘the least choice possible short of actual sterilization.’

Some LARCs can render women infertile for as long as five years, and, as Levich argues, they ‘leave far more control in the hands of providers, and less in the hands of women, than condoms, oral contraceptives, or traditional methods.’

… Slightly modified and rebranded as Jadelle, the dangerous drug was promoted in Africa … Formerly named the Sterilization League for Human Betterment, EngenderHealth’s original mission, inspired by racial eugenics, was to ‘improve the biological stock of the human race.’”

Does Eugenics Factor Into the mRNA Vaccine?

So, how does “eugenics” factor into the creation and distribution of the mRNA vaccine? Is there a link or are we grasping at straws? We can’t answer that question, but a recent article by Mathew Ehret at Off-Guardian provides a few interesting clues. Here’s what he said:18

“The fact that the organizations promoting the rise of this eugenics policy throughout Nazi Germany and North America included such powerhouses as the Rockefeller Foundation, the Wellcome Trust and the Human Sterilization League for Human Betterment … which have all taken leading roles in the World Health Organization over recent decades is more than a little concerning.

The fact that these eugenics organizations simply re-branded themselves after WWII and are now implicated in modern RNA vaccine development alongside the Galton Institute (formerly British Eugenics Association), Oxford’s AstraZeneca, Pfizer and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation should give any serious thinker pause as we consider what patterns of history we are willing to tolerate repeating in our presently precarious age.”

We’ll end this piece with an excerpt from a 2010 article by Andrew Gavin Marshall at Global Research, who presciently noted that:19

“Eugenics is about the social organization and control of humanity … (particularly) population control …

The ideas of Malthus, and later Herbert Spencer and Charles Darwin were remolded into branding an elite ideology of ‘Social Darwinism,’ which was ‘the notion that in the struggle to survive in a harsh world, many humans were not only less worthy, many were actually destined to wither away as a rite of progress. To preserve the weak and the needy was, in essence, an unnatural act.’

This theory simply justified the immense wealth, power and domination of a small elite over the rest of humanity, as that elite saw themselves as the only truly intelligent beings worthy of holding such power and privilege.

Francis Galton later coined the term “eugenics” to describe this emerging field. His followers believed that the ‘genetically unfit’ ‘would have to be wiped away,’ using tactics such as ‘segregation, deportation, castration, marriage prohibition, compulsory sterilization, passive euthanasia — and ultimately extermination’ …

Sir Julian Huxley was also a life trustee of the British Eugenics Society from 1925, and its President from 1959-62 … ‘Huxley believed that eugenics would one day be seen as the way forward for the human race,’ and that, ‘A catastrophic event may be needed for evolution to move at an accelerated pace’ … It is much the same with ideas whose time has not yet come; they must survive periods when they are not generally welcome.

The 21st-century technologies are so powerful that they can spawn whole new classes of accidents and abuses. Most dangerously, for the first time, these accidents and abuses are widely within the reach of individuals or small groups.

They will not require large facilities or rare raw materials. Knowledge alone will enable the use of them … I think it is no exaggeration to say we are on the cusp of the further perfection of extreme evil, an evil whose possibility spreads well beyond that which weapons of mass destruction bequeathed to the nation-states, on to a surprising and terrible empowerment of extreme individuals.

… Due to improved techniques the elite will have greater control over the masses; and because human work will no longer be necessary the masses will be superfluous, a useless burden on the system.

If the elite is ruthless they may simply decide to exterminate the mass of humanity. If they are humane they may use propaganda or other psychological or biological techniques to reduce the birth rate until the mass of humanity becomes extinct, leaving the world to the elite …

A horrifying vision indeed; but one which builds upon the ideas of Huxley, Russell and Brzezinski, who envisioned a people who — through biological and psychological means – are made to love their own servitude. Huxley saw the emergence of a world in which humanity, still a wild animal, is domesticated; where only the elite remain wild and have freedom to make decisions, while the masses are domesticated like pets.

Huxley opined that, ‘Men and women will grow up to love their servitude and will never dream of revolution. There seems to be no good reason why a thoroughly scientific dictatorship should ever be overthrown.’”

We must ask ourselves whether the current mass vaccination campaign is a science-based effort to relieve sickness and disease or a fast-track to a dark and frightening dystopia conjured up by evil men seeking to tighten their grip on all humanity?

SOURCE

[dreamsafterhours]

college boyfriend!markhyuk au series: II (donghyuk’s pathway)

a universe in which roommates!markhyuk meet each other's s/o in class

markhyuk are roommates, my/n and dy/n are roommates, mark and dy/n take classes together and so do donghyuk and my/n — how will their fates intertwine?

genre: fluff pairings: platonic!mark+dy/n format: dotpoint AU universe: non idol, college best friend warning: a lil swearing (best get used to it lol)

masterlist

or click here to continue your friendship with paediatrics!haechan!

I ⇤ | II | ⇥ III

II: relationship consolidation.. it’s platonic i swear

the fellowship continues (mark + dy/n)

so the month that follows your first meeting

is full of

a mixture of crackheadedness and tortured artist vibes

a lot of it is sending lit memes and other shit to each other at 2am when u have an 8am the next morning and yelling at each other for keeping u up so late but then laughing again at whatever the ridiculous punchline was

“to quote shakespeare’s hamlet, act v, scene ii, line 270: no”

/deep inhale/ /unhinged laughter/

that’s your inside joke for a whole two weeks mark couldn’t get the numbers right the first few times uwu poor confused thing but he got it after a while so good on him

in the second class after the first day, you try your best to find in him the crowd of people lining up to go into the lecture theatre but you can’t and it’s almost time to go in and—

oop you’re getting swept by the current of the masses

you still try to look for him even then

and luckily your attempts pay off !bc you do see him further up the stairs

,, but he’s

,.talking to another person, sitting in a seat on the end of the row 

slightly disappointed that you can’t sit together and get to know him better and hopefully become friends but !! still optimistic that you’ll just make new friends

you file into an empty seat near his row a little further down the stairs from where he was sitting

you take out your materials and start to go over your notes from the day before when

someone plops himself down on the seat next to you

you look up and before you can smile in greeting, you recognise

it’s mark!!

he says “heyyy” in that rlly soft voice idk if you’ve seen the vid of him going ʰᶦ but that’s the voice he uses here

and you’re like “oh hi! wait i thought i saw you sitting over there” pointing behind u

and he’s like “oh i just met a friend and i was saving his girlfriend’s seat haha.. she just arrived so they kicked me out and i saw u and !!yeah”

and u nod at him like “nice nice i thought you ditched me” jokingly ofc

“no no i was actually trying to find you but.. you’re too short”

“i’m what”

/whispers/ “i’m sorry omg don’t kill me pls”

/stands up straighter to assert dominance/ “say that again, marcus. say that again”

ajsagdfo cuties

“ok then should we meet somewhere before the lectures”

so you decide on the benches outside the building as Your Spot™

the lecture’s just an introduction to the first text in the syllabus bc . second class

and so there’s quite a bit of note taking,, naturally

mark forgets what the prof says before he can write it down and this particular prof, you learn, is prone to talking fast and then switching the lecture slides before anyone can write anything important down

poor mark is doing a lot of looking up at the slides and then down at his notebook and :(((

so r u but u seem to have better memory than him so u either have the lecture slides up if you’re a typer with your notes or manage to write your notes and still listen to the prof if you’re a writer idk yalls preferences so

meanwhile mark whispers under his breath,, half to himself

“what” don’t we all,, mark.. don’t we all

and he does that a few times so you look over and he’s written barely anything so at that point he’s almost just resorted to listening to the prof and not taking notes at all

then he seems to catch himself and he starts writing down whatever key terms the prof is spewing and you realise

kid’s blanking out lmfao

so you tell him you’ll send your notes over to him after class and he’s like !! R U SURE im so sorry im not used to this sPEED and i can’t put my hand up and ask him to slow down someone else has to do that

and u just nod and tell him it’s all g

so class ends and you wave goodbye (confirming to meet at the benches next week too) to go to your tutorial class that happens to be right after the lecture and so does he,,

and this is your thought process for the next five or so minutes:

there’s only one exit so surely he’s only going outside and not the same way as me

oh look he’s going the same way as me.. i’m sure he’s just going to another building ooh that’s a pretty cool tree

hey we can walk to our next classes together and then split up where we have to go in different directions

is he turning left or right left or right i’m going left left or right left or—wait oh cool

ah there’s a bunch of classes in this building too surely he’s on a different floor. see he’s going up the stairs—wait he’s going up the stairs.. so am i..,,,

nah surely he’s going up another floor

wait if he’s going up another floor.. why isn’t he going on the elevator

does he have a fear of enclosed spaces

does he have childhood trauma in an elevator

maybe he keeps fit by climbing stairs

lol this is my floor, be funny if..

hang on a second

HANG ON A SECOND

“HANG ON A SECOND” that wasn’t one of your thoughts btw that was. out loud

very loud

and he turns around, startled at your voice again

looking up from his phone and eyes getting wider than they were in their initial reaction

“wHAT THE—WAIT HOLD UP HOLD UP HOLD UP—”

he’s giggling at this point bc it’s so funny to him

“HOLD—YOU’RE?? in this tute too??”

“are we??—”

“—in the same class?” yall say that in unison bc that’s the proliferation of a Wholesome Friendship™ right there

u laugh bc wow this is my new best friend

“this is crazyyy”

“yeah what the f..” he highkey cuts himself off bc i mean day 2 guys

but then you

“exactly what the fuck...”

lmfao he knows then that it’s ok to swear with you

n e ways

y’all keep talking until your tutor arrives and lets you in the class

ofc you sit next to each other in the tute as well

you have a great time and class ends quicker than you thought bc you’re having fun and that’s always gewd

so the next few weeks u’re just vibing with each other

walking to class together after ur lectures

walking each other to other classes

studying together in the library in your spare time catching up on content and exploring ideas discussed in tutes for your shakespearean sonnets class

"o romeo, romeo, wherefore were thou and juliet teenage dumbfucks”

he couldn’t stop laughing at that for three days straight

“t..teENAGE /wheeze/ dUMBFUCKS HAHAHAHAHA”

getting pretty close basically

sharing hobbies and music tastes (u find out he plays guitar and it’s the biggest possession he brought into his dorm from his house and listens to frank ocean and john mayer a lot, watches fullmetal alchemist)

sometimes you’ll come to meet him at the benches full on catwalking down the path with your airpods in and resting bitch face on listening to some dope shit while the crowd parts for you and he’s just like O.O

how is she friends with me

he thinks you’re so cool it’s cute

but he’s also alr convinced himself that you’re so out of his league he highkey won’t dare try and make a move

n e ways

he sees ur airpods and he’s like “aren’t you afraid you’re gonna lose them one day”

and you just look at him and go “do i look like a fool, marcus”

he laughs so hard at that

complaining to you abt his roommate in real time over text like

marcus the fool 🤡: “dude he’s whining at me to ‘play with him’ i don’t want to play with him”

marcus the fool 🤡: “now he’s getting jealous of u”

marcus the fool 🤡: “he asks who u think u r”

you: “tell him i would fight him”

marcus the fool 🤡: “he says u won’t win”

you: “bet”

marcus the fool 🤡: “i told him u don’t need to fight for my attention bc uve alr got it”

marcus the fool 🤡: “now he’s fake crying”

marcus the fool 🤡: “he’s telling me to leave the house and leave the kids”

you: “am i a homewrecker now”

marcus the fool 🤡: “he calls u a homewrecker”

you: “tell him i’ll kiss it better”

one day like a month or so into your friendship

you rush to the benches with that look on your face that says you’re about to murder someone which usually disappears when you see him and take out your airpods bc rbf

so he ,, approaches with caution ,,, easy does it,,

yes he’s wondering if it’s your time of month

ngl it åctually was which makes things worse

t e n t a t i v e l y he asks on the way into the lecture theatre

“hey dy/n u ok?? u look.. ok nvm”

bc u lowkey glared at him but u didn’t mean to i swear u just looked at him but u were alr in a bad mood

so ure like “sorry yes i’m fine i didn’t have my coffee today so i may be a bit cranky”

“what happened? u sleep in or smth”

“yeah i slept at 4 last night”

“wHY did u do that”

“idK but i was running late just now and the line at the cafe was so long i stood in line for five minutes and i said nop class is abt to start”

“oh okey”

this keeps bugging him all throughout the lecture

so he turns to u when the lecture is over and he’s like

“u have another lecture next right”

“yes marcus i have another lecture that you’re taking with me”

“come ditch with me i’ll shout u a coffee”

“what really”

“for sure, we can catch up on the lecture in the library tonight”

and you remember that you’d made plans with your roommate my/n to go to the library that night anyway so you agree and let him know

so he’s like “oh rlly? can i bring my roomie along too he probs doesn’t have other plans anyway i hear they’re doing some kind of project so he better not be going anywhere” with a lil frown uwu angery mark

“sure don’t see why not. we’ll all study together”

“nice i’ll let him know”

“cool”

cool

u see where i’m going with this

waggles eyebrows

wink wink nudge nudge

click here to continue your friendship with paediatrics!haechan!

I ⇤ | II | ⇥ III

#dreamwritersnet #neohours #neowriters #nct au #markhyuck au #nct 127 au #nct dream au #nct x reader #markhyuck x reader #nct 127 x reader #nct dream x reader #mark x reader #haechan x reader #donghyuck x reader #Mark AU #haechan au #donghyuck au #nct college #nct college au #eng lit mark #paediatrics haechan

[isthisthingeven0n]

missed opportunity : d.d

brief summary: you’re a popular british youtuber and attend vidcon where you meet the vlogsquad. however, one member is missing and becomes jealous he missed the chance to meet you.

word count: 1.7k requested: yes, by anonymous :) warnings: none that I’m aware of 

* masterlistin’ 

You couldn’t quite comprehend it all, even now as the plane began to descend. In your head, you thought this would be enough time to really come to terms with what was about to happen, but your anxiety surrounding it refused to cease.

“You feeling alright?” Turning your head, your manager slides his blind down and places his hand on yours. You give him a small nod as you rest back in the chair, pulling the blind back up.

Looking outside, you could already tell it was going to be vastly different from home. Here it looked warm, there wasn’t a misleading blue sky where warmth was going to be absent. It looked like something out of a movie, a story you couldn’t believe to be a part of.

Arriving at the hotel with your luggage, you watched through various Instagram stories, checked your mentions to see excited tweets about you finally visiting America. You smiled as you responded to a few tweets before you started filming the welcome pack from Vidcon. 

“I still can’t get over the fact I’m actually in the US.” You collapse down on the bed, looking over at your manager and best friend. 

They both share a look before smiling. “You’ve come a long way, girl.” Your best friend tells you as she collapses down beside you on your bed. “Do you know your schedule?” She asks and you nod.

In all honesty, you learnt your schedule as soon as it came out. Vidcon was an enormous event, and you hadn’t expected to be a big name at the event, but it turns out you were more popular than you could’ve anticipated. You saw your name amongst those you once watched and admired, the sorts that were classed as ‘big’ YouTubers. Seeing your name alongside theirs, it was a surreal feeling, to say the least. 

As you arrive at the venue, you hear someone call your name. You turn your head to smile and wave, only to be approached by a series of fans. You laugh lightly, taking photos and signing things for them before security steps in, escorting you away. “It was lovely to meet you all!” You call out to them as you glance back, seeing them all taking photos or filming you. 

“It might be best if you take the back routes, Miss Y/l/n.” The security guard tells you as you walk with him along with your friend and manager. “These kinda events get rowdy quickly. We want to ensure our guests and visitors remain safe at all times.” He explains and you nod, listening as he directs you backstage where a series of YouTubers will be.

“We’ll catch you later, Y/n.” Your friend tells you as she and your manager begin to wander off, having the freedom to explore, but also record for your vlog.

Taking a deep breath, you walk into the space with a smile on your face. As you look around, most people are already in conversation with one another. You knew most of the creators have been countless times, and many are already friends. 

You pull out your phone as you make your way over to the food and drink, immediately noticing some Yorkshire tea which you’ve been craving. “I guess you really do live up the stereotype.” You turn to see Carly standing beside you with a smile on her face.

A small laugh escapes your lips as you nod. “Well, jetlags getting me hard and tea is my saviour. I think I smuggled a few tea bags in my bra today just in case.” You joke with her (but also you were deadly serious) and she laughs along with you. “I’m Y/n, by the way.” 

“Carly, I love your content. We didn’t know you were coming until we saw you on the Instagram page last week.” She explains and you nod along, squeezing the tea bag before you pour milk into the cup. 

“Yeah, I had a crazy last-minute cancellation that would’ve crossed over when Vidcon was, but because of it here I am.” You tell her with a smile. “So you’re part of the vlogsquad right?” 

She nods and motions to the group of people spread out across one sofa. Most of them you recognise from various videos and social media, but amongst them, the main figure isn’t there. “Most of us are here, David couldn’t make it as he had other commitments.” 

You follow alongside Carly as she introduces you to a series of them, and you sit down with your tea. “Do you really drink like twelve cups of tea a day?” Scott asks you with a laugh.

���Erm, sometimes?” You reply with a smile. “Like if I’m really tired I will, but I’m one of those who will drink tea in the hottest of weathers which isn’t often in England but hey ho.” You sip at your tea, feeling the heat of the mug spreading across your face. 

“God, David will be so jealous he’s not here to meet you.” Jason pipes up and you raise an eyebrow to him, watching as everyone shoots him a look.

Shuffling in your seat, you lean forward. “And why would that be, Jason?” You question, watching as he half laughs realising he said something he clearly shouldn’t have. 

“He’s always wanted you to be in the vlog.” Jason states, only telling you half the truth behind it. 

“How long are you here for?” Kristen speaks up, diverting the conversation from potentially embarrassing David despite him not even being there. 

“Only for the event. I’ve got a flight straight back to London and then I’m off to Paris with Bumble.” You tell them and you can see the disappointment. “Why? Did you guys wanna film some stuff?” 

Everyone looks around, nodding in response to you. “We’ve all seen your videos and honestly you’re naturally funny. Plus you’re British.” Carly states and you shrug your shoulders.

“I mean, I haven’t got any plans between panels and my meet and greet?” You ask them and a few nod. 

Within an hour, you’ve become friends with a few members of the vlogsquad. You stay close with Carly and Erin who help guide you around the venue between panels. 

As the evening draws closer, your jetlag worsens. You continue filming for your vlog, and feature in various other ones all at once. “God I need a shot.” You comment under your breath, not thinking much of it when you hear Scott rise to his feet. 

“Okay, mini party in my hotel room.” He calls out, and a few cheers as your eyes widen. “You called it, Y/n.” He chuckles and you laugh lightly, unintentionally being the cause of a party with the vlogsquad. 

*

The majority of your weekend was spent hanging out and filming with the vlogsquad. It was a surprise you hadn’t anticipated, but you loved their energy. You could tell David was missing, especially as you watched Zane get ridiculously drunk and try to walk through walls. 

As you finished up at your last panel, you knew you would have to head back to pack your bags. You met up with your manager who kept his schedule close to hand. “Okay, last panel officially done. That gives us twelve hours until our flight back to rainy ol London.” He deeply sighs. You know he’s loved being in the sun, even if it’s for work, he can’t get enough. 

“Great.” You half-heartedly respond. 

“Everything okay?” He asks, stopping you in your tracks as you shrug. “Well, that obviously means no. Come on.”

“I just, I like it here a lot. The people are great. And the content I got, amazing.” You say with a light laugh, glancing back to see Scott talking with Jeff. 

“You’ll come back, Y/n.” Your manager reassures you as you nod, following him.

Scott turns his head, noticing you leave. “David really did miss out on this weekend.” He sighs and Jeff nods along. “The girl he likes finally in town, and he can’t even meet her.” 

“That’s some Shakespeare shit.” Jeff comments as they wander backstage as Scott prepares for his final performance of the weekend. 

*

Walking into David’s house, Carly, Erin and Jason hold up Starbucks with a cheer. They smile as they spot David spread out across the sofa, his brows knitted together as he stares at his laptop screen. “How was Chicago, Dave?” Erin asks as she passes David a drink which he gladly accepts.

He takes a sip before pulling a face, passing it back. “It was good. I saw some of your posts from Vidcon.” He speaks softly, not wanting to make it more obvious than it was. “I saw Y/n was there.” He trails off, looking up to see the three of them exchanging a knowing glance.

“Yeah, she was.” Jason comments. “You’d of really liked her.” He adds, making David sigh to himself. 

“She headed home already?” David questions, knowing the answer will already be yes much to his disappointment. 

Deep down he knew you were just another person in the same industry as him. But there was something about you, the quirks you had that left him in awe of you. He wished he could meet you, bring you into a video like most people. Yet, you’re over five thousand miles away. 

“She flew home this morning, probably still in the air.” Carly tells David softly, giving him a small smile. “But she did say she’d love to be in the vlog when she next visits.” 

David lifts his head up, cocking an eyebrow to Carly. “She said that?” He asks like an excited child, talking about his crush. 

“Yeah, she said she’s going to try come over next month I think she said?” Carly questions, looking to Erin who nods. 

“Yeah, next month.” Erin confirms and David smiles to himself. “You going to DM her?” 

Looking over his shoulder, David can feel his cheeks heating up. “I might.” He says coyly. It has been a long time since he’s been on the field, having a crush on someone since Liza. “Do you think she’ll reply?” 

Carly scoffs lightly, rolling her eyes. “David, of course, she will!” 

“Okay okay.” David holds his hands up defensively before he reaches for his phone and goes to twitter. 

Taking a deep breath, he begins to write you out a message and sending it before anyone else can see. “You sent it?” Jason questions, peering over.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll just wait ten hours til she replies,” David says with a laugh, trying to hide his excitement about finally messaging you, even if you don’t reply. 

#david dobrik #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik fluff #david dobrik angst #vlogsquad #vlogsquad imagine #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik imagines #vlogsquad fluff #vlogsquad imagines #vlogsquad angst #vlog squad imagine #vlog squad imagines #vlog squad fluff #vlog squad angst #vlog squad x reader #vlogsquad x reader

[ilovereadingandilovebreathing]

Inside, Outside, Upside Down

A/N: I loved Dan Howell’s coming out video, but in like a painful, “same, dude” kind of way for a lot of it. You’ll see some similarities and likely unintentional references. I guess this is kind of an update to the college AU. *throws my emotions like confetti and runs*

•Takes place during Pride month•

Characters: Roman, Patton, Virgil (Platonic Royality and Prinxiety)

⚠️WARNINGS⚠️: internalized biphobia, negative self talk, crying, little bit of crude talk about penises, cussing, body horror mentions, religious topics

••••

Roman scrolled listlessly through his Twitter feed, his heart doing somersaults at the constant colors filtering across his screen. So much positivity. So much love for and within the community, and yet he felt so much pain. So much isolation. The bright colors seemed a bitter, ironic contrast to how Roman felt, and he quietly turned off his phone, laying his arm over his eyes and taking a deep breath.

“The last time you napped in the late afternoon, you didn’t sleep until 3am. Please don’t do that to me again.”

Roman started a bit at the sudden noise, but he moved his arm up enough to roll his eyes at Virgil as he leaned over the back of their shared couch. “Not sleeping. Just resting. Contemplating.”

“Contemplating?....”

“Dinner.”

“Fair.” Virgil went around the couch and curled up in their worn arm chair, pulling out his phone and scrolling languidly. “You decided whether or not you’re coming to Pride with us?”

Something stabbed painfully at Roman’s chest.

[[MORE]]

“Mmm not yet. Not sure how busy I’ll be around then.”

“It’s in a few days, Roman.”

“I know, but summer professors can be sneaky bastards sometimes.”

“You’re taking P.E.”

“And Advanced Shakespearean Studies!”

“Yeah whatever. You know you’re too good at that shit to worry.” Virgil chuckled and grinned wickedly. “I hope your professor properly expounds on all the homoeroticism.”

“He doesn’t have to. It’s pretty obvious.” Roman laughed a bit. “Shakespeare isn’t exactly known for subtly. He’s the king of dick jokes.”

“It’s a well-earned title, but honestly, dicks are an easy target. They can be pretty hilarious.”

Roman rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t know.”

“I thought you were bi?”

Roman froze. “I am....but that doesn’t mean I’ve...you know....”

“Been with a guy.”

“Right. Kind of self-preservation when you’re from a town like mine and in the social media age.”

“That sucks. Sorry to hear it.”

“It is what it is, I suppose.”

They lapsed into silence, uncomfortable for Roman, but Virgil didn’t seem to notice as he focused on his phone.

Suddenly, Virgil spoke up, “If you’re worried about someone exposing you or something, I totally won’t judge if you sit out on Pride. I don’t think Logan is going because of all the stimuli and stuff, so you could hang out with him.”

“Oh, yeah. That’d be fine.” Roman replied, slinging his arm back over his eyes.

“Hey, you okay?” The hint of worry in Virgil’s tone wasn’t lost on Roman.

“Why do you ask?”

“Your arm. Do you have a headache?”

“Not literally. Metaphorically, that might be a good name to give it.”

“Oh. Something’s bothering you, then?”

“Yes, but why do you care?”

There’s silence for a moment, and then Virgil quietly implored, “don’t do this, Roman.”

“Do what?” Roman uncovered an eye to peer at Virgil, curious and perhaps even challenging him.

“Isolate yourself. Push us- Push me away.” Virgil’s tone was laced with bitterness, and he sighed. “You did it when your Grandma was sick. You do it when exams are stressing you out. I get the need for alone time, but isolating yourself when you need support is...can be dangerous.”

Roman scoffed and rolled to face the back of the couch. “It’s not like you’re any better. You’re not exactly Mr. Open with your emotions.”

“But I go to a therapist, and I know you don’t. I talk to you guys when I need to, but for the most part, my stuff is just....in my head.” Virgil sighed. “Roman...if you don’t want to talk, I understand, and that’s okay, but if you do want to talk, I am listening, open, and willing to hear what you have to say.”

Virgil’s voice had become small and tapered, and a pang of guilt sliced through Roman’s chest. It was true, Roman had avoided going to therapy for fear of digging up things that he...wasn’t quite ready to deal with yet, but Virgil swore by therapy; he had even brought them some resources he believed would help their home dynamic. Virgil was using his version of one of the scripted conversation starters from the “Communication is Key” pamphlet currently stacked under their coffee table, and, despite how patronized Roman often felt with these approaches, Roman decided for once he could humor Virgil, even if just a bit.

Besides, Roman knew perfectly well that he was hiding and intentionally so, but he also knew that his roommates, especially Patton, got upset when he hid himself away when he was struggling, but it was summer and Pride, and Roman didn’t know which was worse: the guilt of bringing his friends down or drowning in his own thoughts. Considering the second was a metaphorical death, Roman decided to bite the bullet and take the plunge.

“I’m sorry I upset you.” Roman took a deep breath to keep himself steady, doing his best to remember the scripted reply to what Virgil had said. “No, I’m not fine...I do need to talk, but I’m hesitant. I want to talk, I think, but I don’t know how to talk about it, really. It all seems so ridiculous.”

“That’s off script.” Virgil quipped not unkindly, peering at Roman over his phone. “You can verbally process, if you need to. Talk therapy. Just let out whatever comes to mind, coherent or not.”

“You mean rant.”

“That’s the layman’s term, yeah.”

Roman exhaled through his nose and sat up, legs crossed and forearms resting on his calves. He stared at the carpet for a few minutes, getting his thoughts together as best as he could before getting in to it.

“As sucky as it is....I think Pride is my problem.”

“Yeah? Why?”

“Because I’m closeted.” Roman said it as if the connection should have been obvious.

“So...you’re jealous?”

“I mean, yeah, if you want to be blunt about it.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“So...is jealous all you feel?”

“...No.”

“Is jealous not the root of your issue, then?”

“.....”

“Roman?”

“...No.”

“What is, then?”

“I don’t know.”

“You said you feel more than just jealous. How else do you feel?”

Roman gasped when he realized his hand was gripping his shirt, over his heart. “....Hurt...”

“And?”

“...Sad...”

“And?”

“...Overwhelmed.”

“Why?”

“Because...” Roman erupted into a rough, humorless laugh; he crooked his arms in his lap and rested his forehead against his palms, his hair falling forward to hide his face. “...I don’t know. I just...do. God, I can’t get in to this right now.”

“In to what? Why can’t you?”

“Because it hurts.”

“What hurts?”

“Pride.”

“And?”

“And?”

“It’s not just Pride. It’s something else. What is it, Roman? You can tell me. I promise I won’t judge.”

“....It’s not so simple.”

“What’s not?”

“Everything.”

“You gotta be more specific.”

“Everything around being Bi in my life. My sexuality, my life....my past. It’s not as clean and easy as yours. You got to come out to your mom and grandma.”

“Yeah, after years of hating and questioning myself-“

“Well, I’m still doing that.”

There is a beat of silence.

“God, Roman. I’m sorry-”

“Don’t. Stop. I don’t want your pity. Or anyone’s pity. I don’t need it.” Roman scoffed and caught himself; he squeezed his hands, pulling lightly at his roots as he fought himself to keep control. “Sorry. I’m glad you care, but it’s just...it’s so hard to talk about.”

“You don’t have to.”

“But I need to!” Roman’s head shot up; his eyes were glistening, tinged a pale pink. “I need to talk about it so badly. So badly it feels like it’s...like it’s eating at me from the inside. It’s clawing at me, my heart, my brain, my organs. It’s like an evil little creature or a disease or something that’s eating away at me constantly. I have to talk about it because if I don’t I’ll keep stewing in it like I am now, but if I do talk about it, it’s like getting cancerous tumor removed, but I’m awake during the operation. It’s killing me, but the thought of getting it out scares me even more than dying because who knows what the side effects could be!” Roman was openly crying now, tears trailing down his cheeks as he stared at Virgil, all but verbally pleading for him to listen, to care.

Virgil was frozen, unsure how to proceed now that Roman so clearly wanted to talk but was so unwilling to continue. Plus, touching was a no-go that day, and Roman clearly needed someone to help ground him.

Thankfully for them both, Patton’s afternoon class had ended, so their cheery yet paternally inclined roommate breezed through the front door before either could react.

“Happy Monday, Roomies!” Patton rounded the couch to head to his room, but he stopped short when he finally registered the mood of the room, looking from Virgil to the sniffling Roman before dropping his bag on the coffee table to run to Roman’s side. Roman resisted being drawn into Patton’s embrace, but he allowed Patton to take his hand, the other smiling sadly as he tenderly plucked a tissue from the box on their end table and wiped the tears from Roman’s cheeks. “Not so happy Monday, huh?” Patton muttered.

Virgil shook his head. “Ro, are you done?”

“Yes...or, no....I just-I don’t know. It’s just so hard.”

“What’s hard, baby?” Patton cut in, tone low and soothing which only made Roman cry harder.

“Talking about...everything.”

Patton looked to Virgil for elaboration, but the other shook his head. “Remember, more specific. The past?”

“I....I just....it’s just not...not good.”

“Why does Pride make you think of your past?”

“Because...I can’t be part of it.” Roman hiccuped over a sob. “I’m not out to anyone at home, and I’m so scared they’ll find out somehow, but...I’m so so tired of being scared. I’m so tired of having to hide a whole part of myself because someone decided it me wrong for me to be my whole self. I’m so tired of remembering how shitty things are back home.”

“I’m so sorry, Ro.” Patton rubbed the back of Roman’s hand with his thumb, his other hand on Roman’s knee. “We’ve definitely taken our families’ ultimate openness to us fore-granted.” There was an implication there, of shared pain and questioning and heartache, but Virgil and Patton had both been at that stage before, and they knew Roman didn’t want to hear their sad stories that ultimately ended happy. That wasn’t how Roman saw his story ending just then.

“...Hey...” Roman’s tone was lighter, slightly manic around the edges as he hiccuped and let out an off-kilter laugh. “You guys ever heard of ‘pray the gay away?’”

Patton and Virgil both cringed

“Of course.” Virgil replied with a humorless laugh of his own. “It’s kind of a politically incorrect meme now, though.”

“Yeah...it doesn’t work.” Roman suddenly sobered. “I tried. So many times. I begged God to take it back, but, like Lady Gaga said, He doesn’t make mistakes. Or really, He doesn’t do take-backsies.” Roman giggled, but it quickly melted into cries again.

“Holy shit, Ro.” Virgil’s jaw worked painfully, and he gripped the thick arm of his chair.

“Yeah, my family is that type. The ‘not-friendly-to-LGBT-kids’ type.” Roman’s voice shuddered. “Or to LGBT anyone. I never told any of them, especially not my parents...” Roman’s voice caught and lowered to a whisper. “...I never even told my grandmother. I was so scared that it would shatter everything we have. I love her so much, but I just...didn’t know how she would react. And I couldn’t handle...if she rejected me.” Roman was openly sobbing, and he opened his arms for Patton to comfort him which the latter took on more than willingly.

Patton held Roman to his chest, one hand on the back of his head and the other holding him close. Patton rocked them both carefully, and after a minute or two, he spoke softly in Roman’s ear.

“Roman, you are so beautiful and wonderful just as you are, no matter what anyone says. Logan, Virgil, and I love you so much, and I know your grandmother does to.” Patton held on tighter when Roman cried roughly. “It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to wonder and to question. Please know that we love you and are here if you need us to be. You don’t have to go through this alone, lovebug. You’re not alone.” Roman just continued to cry in Patton’s arms, feeling safe yet free when surrounded by Patton’s comfort.

Eventually, Roman cried himself out. He still gripped Patton like a lifeline, reaching out to pluck tissues from the box Patton had moved in front of them. He stayed propped against Patton after the tears had slowed, staring at the ceiling and pondering what he should say because he knew he needed to be the one to speak.

“Thank you.”

Rough, quiet, but a good start.

“Thank you both for listening. I’m sorry all of that flooded out of me; it’s just been bottled for too long, I suppose.”

“We’re here for you, Ro.” Virgil responded, wiping at his own eyes; he had since pulled a leg into the recliner and had his arms pulling it close, like a security item. “Just let us know when you need it and what we can do. You have to know by now-” Virgil took a deep breath, steadying and lowering his voice from where it had risen. “I hope you know that you don’t have to do anything alone.”

“I know. In my mind I do. It’s just so hard...I struggle to understand that people love and care about me, you know? After so many years of being forgotten and dropped by people...it’s just hard to ask for help without feeling like a burden.”

“You’re not a burden.” Patton squeezed him tight, resting his cheek against Roman’s head and rocking them a bit. “But you’re definitely carrying one, and it’s okay to let other people help you carry it. Loads become lighter when they’re shared.”

“Nice metaphor.” Roman blows his nose and sighs, sitting up out of Patton’s arms. “I’m so tired. Being honest is exhausting.”

“And not sleeping.” Virgil adds with an eye roll. “I can hear you bumping around at night.”

“You shouldn’t be awake at all hours, either, Captain Insomnia.”

“You just contradicted your own point; I have a medical reason for not sleeping.”

“Okay, kids.” Patton cut in gently, laying his hand in Roman’s arm. “Someone needs a nap.” Patton stood and pulled Roman up despite the others’ protest. “Just a short one. I’ll time it and wake you up so you can sleep tonight, okay? I’ll walk you up for dinner. Don’t worry.” Patton gave Roman a light push toward his bedroom.

“Hey, Ro.” Virgil spoke up, looking at his phone again to break to seriousness of the moment. “I can totally skip out on Pride and hang out with you. We can have our own, private little celebration here. No social media involved.”

“Oooo a party!” Patton wiggles excitedly in place. “A just us party sounds fun! We can decorate the whole apartment! I can even come up with some games! Yeah let’s do it! We can skip out on big Pride this year.”

Roman paused and turned part of the way around, glancing over the pair shyly. “I don’t want you two missing out on celebrating on my account. Please, go. I’ll be fine.”

“But I want to stay in. It might rain that day, and sometimes the huge crowd can be...overwhelming.” Virgil really put effort into his denial, but Roman rolled his eyes.

“It’s your choice. If you want to party, I won’t be upset or offended. It’s not like I’ve ever been to Pride before to know what I’m missing.” Roman grimaced at the accidental guilt trip, but the other two seemed unperturbed.

“It’s fun, but we can have our own fun tailored to what we like and want out of Pride.” Patton smiled and shooed Roman toward his room. “Go sleep. Don’t worry about any of it.”

Roman sighed and trudged toward his room, rubbing his eyes and stifling a yawn as he went.

Once Roman’s door was closed, Virgil turned to Patton. “We’re actually doing this Pride party, right? Because there’s no way in hell I can go knowing that he’s going to be sitting here alone with all those shitty thoughts in his head.”

“Absolutely!” Patton grinned and flopped back onto the couch. “That means Lo won’t have to be alone, either. He always acts like he doesn’t care, but I know he’d like to be involved if he could, especially since he just figured out he’s Asexual and all.”

Virgil nodded. “We don’t have long to party plan.”

“Let’s get to it, then! We can order take out from Roman’s favorite place tonight.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Virgil moved to the couch, and the pair spent the hours before and after dinner conspiring to put together a memorable Pride party for their friends.

Spoiler: it was a great time.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfic #thomas sanders fic #thomas sanders fanfic #tsfanfics #mine

[twinkletoes-rp]

6, 7, 19, 20, 30, 31, 32, 39, 40, 41, 43, 44, 45, 51 (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

Fanfiction Questions meme

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Oh, geez... I’ve been involved in so many fandoms, LOL. I don’t really know if I can/should name them all. I’ll give you the ones (ONLY OTPs - doesn’t mean I don’t ship other things, too) I can think of off the top of my head.

Kiba/Hinata (Naruto), Fakir/Ahiru (Princess Tutu), Stiles/Derek (Teen Wolf), Kirito/Lisbeth (Sword Art Online), Harry/Hermione (Harry Potter), Goku/Bulma (Dragon Ball), Yusuke/Botan (Yu Yu Hakusho), Todoroki/Izuku (BNHA), (better!)Bakugo/Uraraka (BNHA), Toph/Aang (ATLA), and Adrien/Marinette (Miraculous Ladybug)!

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

(This isn’t meant to be hate on the ships I name! I just don’t ship them, that’s all! Ship and let ship! ;))

Naruto/Sasuke (Naruto), Kirito/Asuna (Sword Art Online), Ron/Hermione (Harry Potter), Harry/Ginny (Harry Potter), Goku/Chichi (Dragon Ball), Yusuke/Keiko (Yu Yu Hakusho), Bakugo/Izuku (BNHA), and Aang/Katara (ATLA).

19. Is there a ship (in your current fandom) which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

I’m not sure I have a ‘current fandom’ since I live for, like, everything at once, but maybe technically Naruto would be it?

In that case (again, no offense to anyone - and removing the ‘I wish I could get behind’ part ‘cause I do not), NaruSasu. I just...don’t get it? At all? Maybe it’s the ‘what could have been’s or whatever, but when you just take the series at face value, that relationship is...really icky, at least to me, and that’s putting it lightly. It’s so damn unhealthy, especially for poor Naruto. They were never even friends, Sasuke always treated him like shit, and yet...?! *throws hands at half+ of OG series and virtually all of Shippuden* IDK, man. Something’s weird there, and I don’t like it. Can’t support that. Naruto deserves better, damn it. (*casually links her Naruto AU fic where he DOES get better (in more ways than one), TYVM*)

20. Any ships (in your current fandom) which you surprised yourself by liking?

Going with Naruto again, so. Hmm... I guess maybe Kankuro/Tenten? I didn’t even know that was a ship until a friend showed me a really good fic, and I was hooked! lol.

Another might be KakaObi, but only in AUs where Obito survives the cave in and gets out with Kakashi and Rin and recovers, continuing to be the sweetheart he is instead of the ass he turned out to be in canon. Because he, too, deserved better, damn it!

Another is one I might have made up, not sure (mostly in the context of my Naruto AU, NGL), lol: Karin/Shikamaru! It makes sense and there are lots of compelling reasons when you break it down! You know, 'cause Shikamaru would need (or probs at least prefer) someone on his smarts level, and she's a genius, too, just in a different way. And once she mellows out, Karin's really cool, and (in my AU) she grows to eventually adore Naruto (actually fights to defend/protect him in the Pein arc!), and anyone who loves Naruto is good in Shikamaru's book! lol. Plus, she can tell him when he has his genius brain twisted in too many directions, tell him he's being an idiot and help him figure things out in her different way. lol. IDK, I like it!

30. What inspires you to write?

I just...love writing?? I’ve wanted to be an author since I was 8-9 years old, started writing when I was 11, and I’ve been writing ever since! I’m 27 now! I’ve had a few dry spells, ofc, but I always end up coming back! I just feel like writing is in my blood (partly because, I like to joke, my last name is the title of one of Shakespeare’s plays, haha)!

Pretty much anything can inspire me to write, though. I’ll see a pretty flower and be like “OOH, that flower could feature perfectly in this chapter in this way!” and then write 1k about that! lol. Or I could read a review of one of my new chapters and end up thinking of something I’d never considered before and then write almost 3k on that alone (looking at you, middle section of Ch 6 of my Naruto AU, lol)!

Basically, if it sparks joy, I’m gonna write something! X’D

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

Nicest?? Hmm... I mean, I’ve had a lot of things said about my writing... Not sure I can really narrow it down? lol.

I guess the nicest things I’ve ever been told are when I make people cry (espec multiple times!) and actually feel the emotions the characters are feeling, that the characters and their development feel so real that it’s like they’re real people instead of fictional/they’re written so much better than the creator himself wrote them. (Been getting those a lot on my Naruto AU, actually. lol.)

32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

I tend to prefer silence while I write, but sometimes, my house is loud and people keep breaking my concentration (house of 5, lots of animals, not the quietest, lol), I sometimes listen to music. I usually prefer instrumental, and then usually Naruto or Wolf’s Rain (sometimes Princess Tutu, too) instrumental tracks. The Naruto one I like best also has rain sounds mixed in, which is great because I love the sound of rain! Woo! (Here’s a link to that one if anyone else wants in on this! ;))

39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?

Emotions and getting into the nitty-gritty stuff therein. As an extremely visual, emotional writer, I’ve always been able to feel the emotions of the characters pretty much exactly how they’re feeling it in the moment and then put it on paper. I also make people cry a lot with my writing and get them to feel what the characters do, so that’s awesome! It’s always my goal to get my readers to feel things because then I feel like they’ve really connected with the story and characters I’ve written!

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

Transitions are dicks. Sometimes I struggle ‘cause it’s been, like, two seconds or five hours, and I don’t know how to show that, lol. If I can, espec with the last one, I just fade to black. lol.

Also, sometimes I feel like I use the same sentence structure a lot, mostly the ‘..., but...’ format (at least lately). It’s really annoying, and I worry my readers notice and get annoyed/think I suck because of it. lol.

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

“All the ways I say ‘I love you’” by Leonardo_Charles_BlueWood_21 (Fandom: Ninjago)

“Paradise Lost” by AnchoredTether (Fandom: Voltron Legendary Defender (Zootopia-esque dark AU))

“where my armor ends” by dalniente (Fandom: She-Ra Princesses of Power)

“of cats and curses” by faerialchemist (Fandom: She-Ra Princesses of Power x Fruits Basket crossover)

“Mischief is its Own Reward” by dalniente (Fandom: Megamind)

43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

I don’t really read Naruto fanfic too much anymore, so like...I guess, technically, another main fandom of mine right now is Fruits Basket, so: without a doubt, @kyosohmastan ! They’re my absolute favorite Fruits Basket fanfic author! Everyone’s so in character, the writing is so sweet and feelsy, steamy when it needs to be, and I really love the writing itself - it’s just so well done and beautiful and I die happily when they post a new fic or chapter? Ahhh! Plus, they’re just so nice and talented in so many ways, we have the same opinions on certain things (like Kakeru Manabe is Too Much(TM) for us, haha, no offense to those who like him! lol.), and I just really, really feel blessed to know and read their fics! Love them so! <3

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

I’m not sure which ship this is talking about? Hmm... But a ship I definitely think (have always thought) needs more attention is Kirito/Lisbeth from Sword Art Online! It’s so slept on, and that is a damn fucking shame because they’re so healthy and sweet and have so much more amazing potential than they’re given credit for (way freaking more than the actual canon couple, just sayin’, no offense to anyone who likes the pairing)! I have written a good few metas (and a fanfic) on the subject (some/most of which are on my Lisbeth RP blog, actually, lol)! If anyone wants to discuss/RP/anything involving this ship, please let me know! Would love it!

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

I’m not sure I have a favorite fic. But one that I always come back to (all of her (mostly G1) My Little Pony fics, actually - first found them when I was, like, 12, and have kept rereading over and over through the years, haha) is A Mother in Her Eyes by LoveLikeElena on FFN. It takes place in the author’s own MLP universe, but I love said universe so much, and her takes on the characters are amazing and so sweet! I love her look at the serious subjects that follow the characters through her ongong MLP series! <3

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

Fanfic readers have become really, really lazy. No one reviews anymore, maybe leave a kudos here and there if you’re lucky (I have a major love-hate (more hate) relationship with kudos...), and it’s so, so, so discouraging to us writers! I wish they knew how it felt, to be honest, espec the ones you know are reading, but just...don’t comment. It’s ridiculously disheartening to work so hard on something for days, weeks, even months or years on something, only to get basically nothing in return. It’s like posting into the void, and it sucks ass. It’s part of what made me quit writing for a good few years, actually, and I’m so sad to see that it’s still a thing. I comment on everything I read because I know how it feels and how much it hurt! It hurts like hell, especially because I remember how it used to be just 6-8 years ago when everyone commented! I desperately pray the fanfic/content consuming world fixes that really soon or we might lose some really amazing writers! Please, even an emoji or keyboard smash! I don’t care, I’ll take anything (and I know I’m not the only one)! <3

#answer #dancibayo

[imagitory]

Review: The Lion King (2019) [spoilers]

NAAAAAANTS IGONYAMA BAGITI BABA -- !

Ahem. So...I just got back from seeing the new Lion King remake, and I guess it’s time to talk about it. For those of you who wish to avoid spoilers... *exhales heavily* how do I say this kindly, um -- you don’t need to go see this. Like, really, you don’t. Not to rain on anyone’s parade, but you would miss absolutely nothing watching the original instead of this one, and honestly, I think it’s fair to say you’ll have much more fun watching the original too. As much as I haven’t loved Disney’s line of recent remakes, I at least found something in most of the films I saw that I could praise, but with this one? I don’t recall ever being so utterly bored sitting in a movie theater in my life.

If you would like a more detailed opinion, here’s a cut!

The Good!

+For once, Disney decided to hire a cast full of singers that don’t require autotune, including Donald Glover, Billy Eichner, and of course Beyonce, as well as quite a few lovely people in the chorus like Brown Lidiwe Mkhize (who sang The Circle of Life). Even some of the performers with weaker singing voices like John Oliver were able to hold their own well enough.

+The voice acting overall wasn’t bad. I’ll have to leave it at that, though, since this is supposed to be the positive section.

+The Circle of Life and Can You Feel the Love Tonight? were well-performed, though I will be getting to other issues I had with them later.

+Zazu was actually given a bit more pathos rather than just exclusively being comic relief. He not only tries to protect Nala and Simba from the hyenas, but he also rushes to go get the lionesses when Simba’s in trouble, makes a distraction for Nala so she doesn’t get caught by Scar, and even helps a little more in the final battle. I won’t act like he was an improvement on the orginal exactly, as the best compromise would’ve been to have him be both funny and supportive, but at least there was an attempt to give him some depth.

+As much as I’ll critique the animation further down, I will give the animators credit for its realism. A lot of hard work was obviously put in, and it shows.

The Not-So-Good...

+The number one problem with this movie is, as I feared, the animation. I can respect that this is my opinion and many others might find some charm in how “real” everything looks, but I’m sorry -- musicals =/= realistic . Musicals are supposed to be over-the-top. They are supposed to be theatrical. Hell, even the Broadway production of The Lion King understood that to tell this story without animated lions, you had to treat it like a folktale. The story was never about lions -- it was a human story told with lions. The ideas of family -- responsibility -- duty -- leadership -- grief -- hope -- these are human values. The Lion King was inspired by Shakespeare’s Hamlet. It also has ripples of the Moses story, given that it revolves around someone running away from their home and responsibility, only to realize their true calling and go back to save their people. And you know something? I am positive that the filmmakers knew full well how ridiculous these National-Geographic-esque animated creatures would look suddenly bursting into song -- that’s why they tried at every single opportunity to depict the musical sequences in wide, impersonal shots that barely correspond to the rhythm or mood of the song at all. Unless it’s The Circle of Life, which is literally a shot-for-shot recreation of the original sequence accompanied by a song sung by none of the characters on screen, the only way that these supposedly “realistic” creatures could communicate energy or emotion during the song sequences was by running and climbing things. And in the end, it just looks lazy and dull. There’s no energy in either the shots or the editing. Hakuna Matata and I Just Can’t Wait to Be King suffer the most because of this, as those songs were so dependent on bright colors, spontaneity, and enthusiasm, but none of the songs are done justice with this animation.

+Another issue with the animation is in the characters themselves. As realistic as it looks in the textures of the fur and the way the animals move, it is utterly lifeless in practice. I swear to God, there are points where these animals looked stuffed, they’re so blank and hollow. You know those live action movies, like Cats and Dogs, where they would have real dogs and cats play the characters and then just “fix” their mouths with post-production CGI to make it look like they’re talking, even if their eyes and faces still end up looking so blank that it never looks like they’re saying what’s coming out of their mouths? THAT’S THE ENTIRE MOVIE. It didn’t matter how good the voice acting was, because it was invalidated by the lack of expression of the characters who were supposedly saying the lines. The only character in this movie who seemed to have any emotion in his eyes was Scar, and that was because his animated model was apparently given permission to narrow his eyes more, presumably to look more “eeeeeviiiiiiil~.” Even the hyenas were just given hollow black eyes that only ever looked alien and inhuman most of the time (clearly to remind you that they’re the bad guys) -- there were no emotions other than “mwehehehe we’re gonna eat you” on their faces the entire movie. But yeah, think of all the really emotional scenes in this movie. Think of Mufasa seeing Simba hanging on that tree -- the fear in his face as Simba almost loses his grip on the branch -- the pain and fear in Simba’s expression when Mufasa puts him up on a small ledge, only to get yanked backward by the wildebeest and disappear from view -- the struggle in Mufasa’s body language as he tries to climb up the edge of the gorge -- the betrayal and horror in Mufasa’s expression when Scar reveals his true colors -- the desperation, disbelief, horror, and grief in Simba’s face when he finds his father and screams at the open air for help. ...Yeah. Now imagine all of those scenes being acted out by EMOTIONLESS PUPPETS. That’s even what Mufasa looks like when he’s thrown backwards off the cliff -- a puppet. A scene that has left people in tears almost made me snort with laughter because of how bad it looked!

+The animation’s realism also, as others pointed out when the trailers first came out, made it very difficult to pick out individual characters. When Nala grew up, there wasn’t even a way to tell that she was the youngest of the lionesses -- they all looked like clones of each other. There’s a bit where one of the hyenas (I guess he’s supposed to be Banzai, but I guess he’s been renamed something else?) confuses Scar for Mufasa at a distance and I almost burst out laughing because it was like the movie characters themselves even realized how identical all of the lions look. Simba’s face “turning into Mufasa’s” in the water had no emotional impact at all because you could barely tell that anything had just happened.

+Geezus, and I thought that Beauty and the Beast took too many ideas from the original? Oh boy. This movie took so much from the original, it was like the filmmakers copied something they found on the Internet for a school assignment and then added and switched around a couple of lines just so they wouldn’t be accused of plagiarism. There were quite a few points while watching this where I was going, “Oooookay, and this is where Simba sees a lizard. ...Yup, there it is. He’s gonna try to roar twice. ...Yup, and...yup. And on the third try, he’s going to roar loud enough for it to echo, and we’ll cut to the top of the gorge. ...Called it. And wildebeest in three, two, one...” Now, of course, knowing what’s going to happen shouldn’t reduce suspense -- if anything, when something suspenseful is done well, it doesn’t matter if you know what happens, because now you’re excited to see those things happen. But in this? How could I be excited when they recycled almost every joke, almost every shot, almost every scene, only with half the energy and sincerity? Even Beauty and the Beast tried to throw in some twists now and again, even if I didn’t end up liking most of them...the only things I can think of in regards to “changes” were some extra scenes that didn’t add much of anything, such as Scar leaning even more into his “Claudius” role and trying to court Simba’s mother Sarabi. Oh, and on that note...

+...The original movie was about an hour and a half long. This one was two hours. You want to know how they stretched that run-time out? Largely by adding in extended nature sequences. Perhaps if you really like the “realistic” animation, you might enjoy the gratuity of it, but some of them just got ridiculous. Remember how in the original, Scar caught a mouse and kind of taunted it? Now we get almost a whole minute just watching the mouse running around and doing nothing before Scar even shows up. Remember how we got a short, smooth transition from Pride Rock to Rafiki’s tree with a rainfall and soothing music? Have one that’s twice as long and is devoid of any of the epic, solemn atmosphere. Remember how we got a cute little giggle when Timon and Pumbaa sang The Lion Sleeps Tonight, only for it to get interrupted by Nala’s arrival? Now that song is treated like a full musical number with lots of danc -- sorry, walking around aimlessly, because it’d be stupid if animals actually danced or something. Remember how Simba collapses into some leaves, which sets loose some dust which in a ten-second-long cut scene is blown through the wind into Rafiki’s hand? Now it lasts almost two whole minutes and involves a tuft of Simba’s fur landing in a river, being picked up by a bird, becoming stuffing in a nest, being tossed out of the nest, being accidentally eaten by a giraffe, being shat out by that giraffe, being picked up by a dung beetle -- OH, COME ON. NOW YOU’RE JUST SEARCHING FOR EXCUSES TO DRAG THIS MOVIE OUT.

+I love James Earl Jones, but he should not have reprised his role as Mufasa. I’m sorry, but the man is 88 years old now, and he just sounded so tired. He didn’t show even half of the energy and enthusiasm he had playing the part the first time. If he was Simba’s grandfather, that’d be one thing, but he’s not. Half of what makes Mufasa’s death so tragic is how alive and young he seemed and how close his bond was with his friends Rafiki and Zazu and his family Simba and Sarabi, but thanks to Jones’s low-key performance and the lack of emotion in Mufasa’s animation, all of that is lost.

+Just like with Jafar in the recent Aladdin remake, this movie tries to give Scar some depth, but the halfhearted attempt only serves to take away what made Scar a great villain in the first place -- namely, his dry wit, ruthlessness, talent for manipulation, dynamic attitude, arrogance, immaturity, and most of all passion. Combine this not-deliciously-evil-but-definitely-not-sympathetic characterization with such bland animation that neither conveys energy or intrigue, and we’re once again left with a very forgettable, uninteresting villain. Come on, Disney, you used to be so good at writing villains -- just because you’re trying to make a more “realistic” story doesn’t mean your villain can’t crack a smile every-so-often, geezus!

+If Sarabi was chasing off hyenas with the lionesses, how in the world did she and the lionesses get back to Pride Rock fast enough for them to be lounging around when Simba came to get Nala? Scar and Simba’s interaction isn’t nearly long enough to encompass Sarabi finishing up with the hyenas and returning home. This is a problem that comes from how much this remake copies from the original -- because it wants so many scenes to play out identically to the original, it gives any subtle line changes the writers do make the potential to create plot holes.

+Oh yeah, and the joke of Simba pouncing on Zazu really doesn’t work if we see Simba getting ready the entire time and Zazu makes it easy for Simba by spinning around in circles looking at nothing. One would think Zazu was trying to let Simba pounce on him.

+There’s no kind way to put this -- Timon and Pumbaa were just flat-out INSUFFERABLE in this. Not only were their deliveries of lines from the original movie pretty awful, but they also added in a bunch of new, often fourth-wall-breaking jokes that just made me hide my face in my hands and groan. In Hakuna Matata in particular, they act offended by Simba not being more excited when they first say the phrase, ruin the joke of Pumbaa farting by having him say it and Pumbaa then being upset that Timon didn’t interrupt him, AND give Simba a hard time for continuing the song until it fades out by saying that Simba’s “gained 400 pounds” since they started it! This isn’t even touching on how TERRIBLE Seth Rogen was as Pumbaa while singing -- like, I know that’s supposed to be part of the joke, but Ernie Sabella was “a bad singer” by being over-the-top, not by being off-pitch and painful to listen to! Not to mention that Sabella packed so much more characterization into his line deliveries -- the chasm of quality between Sabella and Rogen’s performances all the more highlighted to me the difference between an actor and a voice actor. You can’t just get away with speaking your lines in an ordinary voice when you’re voice acting -- you need to emote solely with your voice, as your face is not doing any of the work, and with animation this emotionless and bland, one really needed to have given 120% in their voice work for it to be even passable. (And honestly, none of the actors stood out well performance-wise...not that they should have to singlehandedly bear the burden of depicting their characters’ emotions just with their voices: this is an animated movie, not a radio drama!) As if breaking the fourth wall for no reason, telling bad jokes, and singing poorly wasn’t enough, Timon and Pumbaa also come across as infinitely more selfish and mean-spirited. They say they’re outcasts, and yet there’s a whole friggin’ community of animals in their jungle home. Simba actually hears Timon and Pumbaa selfishly decide to “keep him” because having a creature bigger than them around might help them out. Timon flat-out tells Simba to only look after himself and no one else. Whereas in the original film, Timon and Pumbaa almost raise Simba like adopted parents, having fun with him and genuinely showing concern for him -- here, Timon and Pumbaa act more like a pair of frat boys who adopted the “new kid” in college and induct him into their friend circle, even though, yeah, Simba first meets them as a cub and they’re already adults. Rather than just laugh at the thought of “royal dead guys watching them” for a quick moment, they openly roar with laughter at Simba, dragging it out even when it’s very clear Simba is hurt by their amusement and not even bothering to apologize. At least in the original, Simba acted like it was funny and then left abruptly, but here? Simba never laughed or showed any amusement, so it came across as Timon and Pumbaa bullying him. Oh yeah, and speaking of bullying, remember how there was that one-off pop culture reference where Pumbaa gets mad at being called a pig? Now that’s been replaced with Pumbaa saying he doesn’t like bullies -- seems like that would’ve been a lovely thing to set up earlier, maybe to give that line some emotional pay-off, but nope! There’s no joke AND there’s no point. But you want to know what made me hate these two beyond reason in this movie? You want to know what finally pushed me over the edge? They broke the fourth wall beyond repair by -- rather than randomly putting on a hula skirt and dancing goofily, because of course we’re a SERIOUS animated movie, one that’s so REAL -- singing Be Our Guest from Beauty and the Beast, French accent and all. ...Excuse me for a minute. *buries her face into a pillow and screams in rage*

+By the way, those other animals who live in the jungle Timon and Pumbaa are from and therefore invalidate their assertion of being “outcasts”? Completely pointless. They don’t even come with Timon and Pumbaa and fight for the Pridelands! You could have cut them completely and lost nothing.

+As much as Hakuna Matata was the most irritating of the numbers, I Just Can’t Wait to Be King and especially Be Prepared were just pathetic. I Just Can’t Wait to Be King largely suffered, again, due to the “realism” of the animation, but the slow editing and even the vocals slowed the whole sequence down and sucked out any energy or excitement from the piece. I’ll give credit to Nala and Simba’s voice actors for their vocal quality, but there was still none of the spontaneity and recklessness in their voices that the song requires, so it just came across as Disney karaoke, rather than anything professional. But Be Prepared was easily the worst of the lot. It would be a challenge to try to evoke the level of dread and demented thrill you get from the original song sequence, but here, the filmmakers didn’t even try. Not only do we only get part of the song, but Scar’s voice actor Chitwetel Ejiofor barely sings a word of it and brings none of the dynamic, power-hungry, conniving, almost hypnotic mania that’s supposed to define Scar in that moment. He’s mostly just shouting like an old man yelling at a kid to get off his lawn -- there’s no attempt at persuasion or temptation in his voice at all. And just like in most of the other musical numbers, the only way Scar’s character model can emote during his song is to climb on things. Even in songs that were performed well, there were notable problems. The Circle of Life was basically animated on autopilot, replicating every single shot without taking any time to show any genuine emotion anywhere, whether when Zazu and Rafiki greeted Mufasa or when Simba sneezed away the dust in his face...and Can You Feel the Love Tonight? Haha, yeah, right -- more like “Can You Feel the Love in the Mid-Afternoon”! It was absolutely comical, hearing them sing “tonight” when the entire sequence was done in daylight!

+I’ve always liked The Lion King, but...wow, after seeing this remake and how much they tried to lean into the “hyenas as outsiders” idea in this, I have to acknowledge that there are some uncomfortable elements to this story. In the original, we solely focus on Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed with other hyenas in the background, so them being outside the Pridelands could just be seen as the case of a few bad apples, rather than it being an indictment on an entire group. But here, in this version, Shenzi is depicted more seriously as the leader of all the hyenas and it’s established that the war between lions and hyenas has gone on for a long time. Basically this movie turns Shenzi into Zira from The Lion King 2...and yeah, that makes it so that the hyenas -- as the outsiders -- should theoretically be slightly sympathetic, right? You know, to show that it’s wrong to cast others out because they look or act different from you? Nope! Nope, they’re all just evil! They’re manifestations of greed and hunger with no potential for redemption whatsoever. They’re not like our good, pale-colored lionesses who all look the same -- they’re dirty, and conniving, and they seek to creep out of the shadows and leech on everything the lions hold dear. I could very, very easily see how some vile, disgusting people could embrace such a narrative in this current climate, seeing themselves in the lions trying to “take their land back” from the shadowy, evil hoard of creatures who have come from outside to tear down their way of life. I can’t act like this adaptation added something that wasn’t at all in the original movie, as, let’s be honest, it plagiarized most of it...but perhaps because of how they reused this story and in some cases leaned into some elements of that story, this remake has very, very bad timing in when it was released. Those elements of the story probably wouldn’t have been read into it back in the 90′s, given the relative stability of the political landscape, but now? Now I could see how people could read it that way. It’d be like trying to make a movie like Independence Day, where national monuments get blown up, right after 9/11.

Looking back on what I just saw, I’m still absolutely stunned. Never before have I felt like my time has been more wasted than when I decided to sit down and watch this movie. I’ve tried to find shreds of praise, but whenever I try, it feels like I’m grasping at straws, only to fall back into a big pool of “blah.” I have never been so bored by a movie in my life -- and if there’s anything Disney, and especially Disney musicals, should never be, it’s boring. I would still say Maleficent makes me the most angry of Disney’s recent remakes, considering that that one openly insulted the original it was based off and this one is just clearly so up the original’s ass that it’s obnoxious...but this one was easily the biggest disappointment. I went in with almost no expectations, and yet still came out disappointed in the result. That, I think, says a lot. I could see someone who simply wants to see some cute animals and ride a bit on the nostalgia train enjoying this...but forgive me, but that bar is way too low. Disney is capable of doing so much better -- the true Lion King, the 1994 classic that broke records and surpassed all audience expectation, is more than enough evidence of that.

Overall Grade: D-

#the lion king (2019) #the lion king #disney #the lion king spoilers #opinion #oh boy here i go #reviews #disney remakes #remakes

[wolfpawn]

Once Bitten Twice Shy Chapter 2

Previous Chapter

Chapter Summary - Tom Hiddleston, meet Paige Winters. 

Tag, @wolfsmom1

anyone else who wishes to be added to the tags, just ask :)

Tom sighed. It was the day of another invitation to the Cumberbatch’s for dinner with them and a few other friends. He hated these things, he always seemed to be the only one without a partner and as much as he loved the relaxed atmosphere of speaking to his friends and meeting new people in a private setting, he hated that he was perpetually the only one that was there alone.

Ever since his disastrous last attempt at a relationship that led to worldwide ridicule and even a song to add insult to injury, he didn’t want anything to do with certain types of woman and as much as it hurt, he did like the feeling of having someone by his side in bed at night, someone to come home to, leaving him in the depressing situation of being wary of trying to have another relationship. Everyone he met seemed to either be in a relationship or outside the age range deemed suitable to a man his age these days. He felt incredibly lonely and having other people’s happiness thrown into his face or questions regarding his lack of a partner was not exactly how he wished to spend an evening.

He thought through different excuses he could give for not going. Rehearsing, for his new play? No, he had used that before. Feeling ill? No, that was inviting bad karma. Tired? That would not really be acceptable though and he knew it. He couldn’t even pretend that he had not received the invite, Ben had asked him face to face. There was no escaping it without insulting one of his closest friends and he knew it. Sighing, he went to get a shower and see what to wear, wishing he had not been caught to go to it.

As he fixed his hair to not allow it to look so utterly wild and made sure his glasses were clean before putting them on, Tom sighed and grabbed his jacket. “Here I go, Boy.” Bobby snorted from his crate, relaxing after the jog he had joined Tom on earlier. “Wish me luck, who knows, I might not be the only lone stag tonight, there’s no harm in hoping, is there?” He was doubtful but there was a chance, however small.

*

“You’re late,” Ben commented as Tom walked in the door of his friend’s home.

“You said eight.” He checked his watch. “Two minutes past, really, are you holding that against me?”

Ben chuckled before embracing his friend. “How are you?”

“Tired.”

“I love theatre productions, but they are exhausting, both to do and the run-up.”

“I am, really, Zawe and Charlie are wonderful people, they really are and I loved working with them but it is draining,” Tom confessed. “How about you?”

“Nothing much really, being a father and a husband mostly of late, getting organised for future work, spending time with Mum and Dad, it’s all really family stuff for the most part. This is the first real chance I have had to actually see people outside of that in a bit so needless to say, that’s why I couldn’t listen to excuses for you not to be here. You missed the last two and that’s not right.”

“I literally was out of the country for one of them.” Tom’s tone was slightly defensive. “Besides, I am the only one to ever turn up to these things alone, I am awkward to seat in it all.”

“Well, Paige will be glad you’re here, she has been the only one here alone the last two times.”

“Paige?” Tom frowned before recalling the name. “Paige Winters, the author, right?”

“That’s her. Sophie was finally able to convince her to actually come to one. She used to come before. You may have seen her at the wedding, I’m not sure. She’s something else.”

“I don’t recall her to see but I recall you mentioning her. I thought you said something about Sophie helping her with her wedding?”

Ben’s face fell slightly. “Yeah, don’t mention that. She came home a day early from dealing with a discussion to do with making “Time to Fly” into the movie in LA, that one with Gerard Butler, yeah, that. She walks in, and there’s her fiance, Derek, fucking another woman in the bed she paid for, in the house she paid for and then to add insult to injury, the fucker tried to sue her because she was paying his college course and cancelled the payments after and he thought she should continue to do so for some unknown fucking reason.”

Tom tried to process what he just heard. He simply nodded slightly and decided to say nothing on it as there was nothing he could say. “How long ago was that? That movie is in cinemas now I thought.”

“About two years ago. Yes, we went with her to see it at the premiere. Not as good as the book, but hey, they rarely are, right?”

Tom nodded slightly, grateful to at least have someone else there that was not shoving a happy partnership in his face, however sad it was that it was because of the reasons it was. A thought suddenly occurred to him. “You’re not trying to set us up, are you?”

“You, and Paige? That would be an exercise in futility if there ever was one.” Tom’s brow furrowed at the manner in which Ben scoffed at the mere thought of such a thing. “Paige seems to think that her experience with one utter shitbag is enough to last her a lifetime, she’s not the least bit interested in another relationship, so no, no one is playing matchmaker tonight.”

Relieved that he was not going to be embarrassed or made feel awkward by someone who had the idea of something more, Tom relaxed considerably. “Well, who else is here?”

As it turned out, there were three other couples there, Robert Rinder, who Tom knew from Ben’s wedding, and his partner, Sophie’s bridesmaid Rhian and her husband, Patrick, who he had met a few times and Gerard, another of Sophie’s work friends, and his wife Joanne. Relieved, Tom noticed that in fact, Paige was alone also. The manner that the table was set, she was on his left with the table’s corner between them, Ben to his right. She assisted Sophie with the food, and according to Ben and Sophie with the cooking, as Ben’s veganism did not lend well to the cooking of some of the parts of the meal. When commended by the hosts for her assistance, she merely shrugged and stated it was no issue, she was doing nothing during the day anyway, merely browsing shops. Not wanting too much attention on herself, Paige simply took the praise and said nothing as she drank a large gulp of wine and gave a polite smile.

The talk was pleasant through the meal, Robert telling them of shows he was having to do, leaving the table laughing more than once at the madness he was forced to oversee. Sophie and Gerard explained to Ben what they had planned for a show, it was interesting to listen to it all. Tom was asked what was on the cards for him now.

“A play, in Harold Pinter’s, one of his, Betrayal,” He explained. There seemed to be a momentary pause at the table, with everyone knowing Paige in some manner and Derek’s actions, they seemed to all wish to say something or look at her but they decided against it. “So that will be exciting.” He decided to continue as though there was nothing in what he said that could be construed in any other manner.

“I always found his work boring on paper, perhaps the play will be better,” Ben commented.

“The same can be said for most plays, in all fairness. Often the actions required to animate it are not written so it lends sterility to it. In books, you are not writing for it to be seen physically, but in the mind’s eye, so you add more actions in the writing.” Paige added. The table nodded in agreement. “But yes, of Pinter’s works, it’s not his finest. But that is probably because it is written by an adulterer from the perspective of the one of whom is being cheated on, so his thoughts are not truly in line with that of the one he is attempting to be.”

“You’re biased,” Gerard dismissed, having known Paige through Sophie for a few years. “You compare most things to Shakespeare and Yeats.”

“It’s not my fault there are better playwrights.” She shrugged. “We are all compared to our contemporaries, as well as the greats before us, regardless of our field. How many times have you two been compared, even in the same films though you both have different acting styles.” She indicated to Tom and Ben, who both nodded.

Tom studied her for a moment, realising that as much as he had met this woman from time to time, as well as heard her referenced more than once, and paid little heed to her. He had heard her partner at the wedding reception in the bathroom complaining about not being able to do something more “entertaining”, that he had to be at a “stuffy wedding”. He had, by extension, assumed that though Paige was happy to be there for her friend, by being with a man of such a character and seeming happy with him, she had been of a similar opinion. The manner in which she spoke was far more educated than he had thought her to be before. Feeling a pang of slight guilt at dismissing her previously, he remained silent and waited for the conversation to alter to someone else, which it did soon after.

The rest of the evening was incredibly pleasant. Tom listened more than once to Paige speak and realised just how intelligent and well-read she was. Wanting to get to know her better since Ben swore her to be an incredibly trustworthy confidente for Sophie and by extension himself, as well as a wonderful friend. In a world filled with so many pretenders and such for people in his position, a true friend was always something he wished for. He had a select few friends, that circle had not seemed to grow much since he rose to fame. There were a few people he thought he could trust, he was wrong, sadly. Paige and her pleasant demeanour and interests were something he would like to see more of.

He assisted Ben in cleaning since most of their friends had left already. He felt it a good idea to assist as he usually did. “So?” Tom raised his head to look at his friend as he spoke. “Did you enjoy the evening?”

“More than I thought I would,” Tom confessed. “Thank you.”

“I worry about you sometimes.” Ben looked Tom in the eye as he spoke. “I know you don’t need babysitting, and I am definitely not the one to do it if you need it but as your friend, I think you don’t socialise as much as you should. I know you suffer from the same as us, trust issues. But that’s why we only allow certain people here. I mean, Gerard, Rob, their partners, Paige, we could admit anything to them, same as with you, and it stays with them.”

“It’s good to actually not have to worry about talking for a change.” Tom acknowledged.

“It’s a rare occurrence these days.” Ben looked at the dishes. “I better bring these into the kitchen.”

“I’ll get these, you grab the other lot.” Tom took a pile of plates and made for the kitchen, pausing for a moment when he heard Sophie talking inside.

For a moment, he had thought he was the only one to remain behind, but the voice to answer his friend’s wife told him he was wrong. “Thanks for helping today.”

“You didn’t give me much of a choice.” Paige scoffed.

“I asked were you busy.”

“No, you did that ‘are you busy?’ in a way that says bar dying, you need to get here now.”

“You said you were just shopping.”

“It was an important shop.”

Sophie laughed. “Dare I ask?”

“I was in Ann Summers, looking at toys.”

“For goodness sake, Paige.” Sophie laughed more. “I thought you were not interested in relationships these days.”

“I’m not, hence purchasing other ways to get an itch scratched.”

“You are so vulgar, sometimes. I don’t even know what to say to that.”

“I’m not apologising for it.” It was clear from her tone, Paige was unashamed to declare her actions.

“Get a guy, it’s far more fun than that, he’s also some company.”

“How about I get a toy and a dog, that seems to cover those bases? Dogs don’t cheat. Look, Soph, I tried after Derek, I told you that, but all the decent guys are taken.”

“Not all of them could possibly be, it’s mathematically impossible.”

“Well, I sure as Hell can’t find them and if I’m honest, I am better off this way.”

Tom didn’t know Paige well enough to say he could tell how good a liar she was, but the manner in which she declared her being “better off” was by no means convincing. Not wanting to wait any longer for fear that Ben would arrive and think him eavesdropping, something he would try not to admit to himself he was actually doing, while also waiting to rescue a clearly less than happy to be discussing her personal life Paige from Sophie’s concern, he walked in nonchalantly into the room. “Where do I put these?”

For a moment, it was clear the women were wondering how much he had been privy to of their conversation but with him acting as though nothing was out of place, Sophie moved some dishes out of the way and indicated for him to put them there. “Thank you, Tom.”

“Of course, anytime. I could hardly walk off and not assist after you lovely ladies did so much to make it a pleasant evening.”

“I think he’s trying to charm you,” Paige teased to Sophie as she walked over to the plates to rinse them before placing them in the dishwasher. “Ben will have to be careful.”

Seeing that she was clearly jesting, Tom chuckled, “Guilty, you caught me.”

“Don’t encourage her,” Sophie warned. “Have we all the napkins?”

Tom frowned as he tried to recall whether he had seen anymore. “I think so but I cannot say for certain. I can check if you’d like?”

“No, you’ve done enough, I’ll check.” Sophie walked out of the room without a second thought.

“Thank you, for the food, I mean.” Tom didn’t know what to say to Paige and did not want her worrying over a strained silence.

“It was their dinner, not mine.”

“But Sophie said you helped. I know Ben’s attempts at cooking, you did us all a great service.”

Paige snorted as she tried and failed to prevent herself from laughing. “He makes some nice food….for rabbits.” Tom laughed in response. “It’s great to see them though. I try to avoid these things. I think Sophie is trying to mother me slightly, force me into human interaction.”

“Well, a writer is probably prone to forgetting society sometimes, I would imagine.”

“Not really.” Paige shook her head slightly for a moment before pausing. “Okay, on occasion….fine, a lot. Yes. I went one week once without seeing anyone bar the Tesco delivery guy. But in my defence, I was finishing a book, so I did need to concentrate.”

“I could well imagine. I am the same learning scripts. It’s half the reason I got Bobby, it forces me out of the house.” The confused look she gave him reminded him she had no idea who Bobby was. “My dog, Bobby’s my dog.”

“Ah, that makes sense. It’s also not a bad idea. You can’t ignore society if you have to walk him.”

A silence fell over them again for a moment before Tom thought of something. “Listen, I know this sounds odd and to be honest, probably not a topic you wish to discuss, considering, but for this play, I play Robert and I know I may sound like an utter fruit and nut case but I have never been cheated on, thankfully.”

“Lucky you.”

“Yes, thankfully. But I want to get it right. You stated earlier that performance is required to bring a role to life in plays, how Pinter could not get it a hundred per cent right because he does not know the perspective. I cannot give that experience to this role and I was wondering if...fuck this sounds so peculiar, I am sorry, please, forget I said anything.” Tom could not believe what he had just attempted to ask of her.

“No, it makes sense. I mean, you are a great actor because you invest yourself into roles. You have brought weak roles to prominence. I remember watching ‘I Saw the Light’, the film was not the strongest but you nailed it, a hundred and ten per cent.” She paused for a moment and thought to herself. “Yeah, if you’re asking what I think you’re asking, the answer’s yes. You can pick my brain over it.”

Tom could not believe she both understood what he was asking but his reason for doing so. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Well, it is quite late right now, so how about we meet up and discuss it soon? Nothing untoward, we can meet in a cafe or something?”

Paige’s face scrunched slightly in dislike.“I am not a fan of public appearances. I know that sounds weird but with the movie and everything, I just...I don’t want to be tabloid fodder.”

“I completely understand. Perhaps we could discuss this at mine? I can make you something...I swear I am a better cook than Ben.”

“That wouldn’t be hard, milk and cornflakes would make you seem gourmet in comparison.” Tom snorted in response. “Well then,” she took out her phone. “What’s your number so we can arrange this?” Tom gave it to her and a moment later, his phone starting vibrating in his pocket. He took it out and looked at it to see it was an unknown number. Looking back at Paige, he realised she had dialled him. “So now, you have mine and I have yours.”

“An efficient woman.”

“You have no idea.” She smirked before her phone beeped. “Oh dear, I better go.” She declared as she read the message to just come through.

“Everything alright?”

“My friend’s daughter is sick and she’s asking me to help her with it.” She went to walk out the door. “Text or call and we will arrange to discuss that matter.” With a small smile, she turned and left to explain to Sophie and Ben that she was leaving.

A moment later, Ben walked into the room looking at Tom. “What happened here?”

“Nothing, I was talking to Paige for a minute, then she got a text about her friend’s daughter and rushed off.”

Satisfied that Tom had not caused Paige to flee and that their stories matched, he placed the dishes in the dishwasher, making a comment that Paige was a bigger person than he was to help with that child before talking to Tom about other matters, not expanding on it in any way.

#Once Bitten Twice Shy #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fic #chapter 2