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thewulf · 3 months

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You Can Let It Go || Sirius Black

Summary: Request - So I kinda have a personal request. It’s loosely based off Matilda by harry styles. Basically the reader didn’t have a BAD childhood, just not normal. Like for example (of course she thinks its all normal as that is what they grew up with) ... Read Rest Here

A/N: Thank you so much for the request @loving-and-dreaming! I really hope you like it. This was tough to write initially but super fluffy and loving at the end. A good old hurt/comfort!

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Word Count: 4.5k +

TW: Talks of abuse, abusive parents, crying

“What about you?” Lily’s soft voice broke you out of the dream world you’d been in for the last few moments. They were talking about their childhood’s and all the fun things they did. Lily and her family always went down to the French seashore every summer for holiday. Remus and his brother would always go to camps around London while their parents worked away. James got to go to America almost every year to hang out with his uncle who was working at MACUSA. Even Sirius got to travel the world on his fathers dime. You didn’t really have anything. Your parents didn’t do things like that for you and your older sister.

“Hmm?” You hummed, not exactly sure what the group was talking about anymore as you thought about your past. As you looked up you locked eyes with the boy you’d had a crush on for years, Sirius, who was watching you with curiosity dancing in his iris’s. All eyes were on you.

She smiled, “What was your favorite snack from childhood? I think we’re the only two here who grew up with muggle parents.” Playfully, she bumped your shoulder with hers, “Can you believe they’ve never had a proper biscuit from Tesco before?” She smirked looking at all the confused faces around her.

You nodded your head lightly, “I never really got any of those growing up. Dad always said they were for special occasions only.” Speaking nonchalantly, you found Lily giving you a somewhat confused look. Her eyebrows stitched together as she tried to gauge the comment for what it was, were you being serious?

“Biscuits?” She was a little perplexed. She’d always had them on hand. All her friends always seemed too also. It was fairly common to have them always stocked up in a British household. You never knew when you’d want a biscuit with your tea.

Humming and nodding your head you didn’t see the guys watching the interaction unfold with curiosity in their own faces. You’d made some off putting comments about your childhood to your friends in the past. Comments you never really thought twice about. Sirius started picking up on your not so normal childhood after fifth year when you came back to school looking a little paler, a little skinner and much more exhausted than he was used to seeing from you. He tried to pry, to figure out if you were okay but you just shrugged him off time and time again. You were okay. It was just home. You didn’t get to eat at home like you did at Hogwarts, but you never thought anything of it. Hogwarts was the exception. What family could put out feasts on a daily basis like the kitchens did here?

“Mum never really bought us snacks. When she did dad always locked them away, anyway.” You laughed softly not realizing how weird that statement was. You thought it was normal to have almost all of your cabinets under lock and key. It’s not like your parents ever let you spend the night outside of the house to actually see how other Brit’s lived. No, sleepovers weren’t allowed. Mum always told you it was for your safety but you were starting to think she was lying a bit to you.

“Locked them away?” James’ normally happy face quickly turned down into a frown as he processed what you actually said. See, Sirius had come to him last year more than concerned over how you came back to school. James then started picking up on the weird things you said. How you never went on holiday, how your first time out of London was to go to Hogwarts, how you never had a damn sweet even when you got good grades.

An uncomfortable smile brushed across your expression as you ignored the looks of distress on their face as you continued, “Yeah. Dad always complained that me and my sister went through them too quick. We cost them too much money. So, we’d have to earn them.”

Lily shook her head in disbelief, “You had to earn food?”

“Only snacks!” You countered quickly after finally picking up on the tension the conversation was bringing, “We just had to do our chores for the week and then dad would let us pick out a pack of whatever we wanted.” It didn’t sound that good out loud you realized after you said it. None of this sounded quite right now that you said it out loud.

“Love,” Remus spoke up, “You know that’s not okay right?”

You shrugged, “It got us to do our chores, no?” It was a justification, and you knew it. Maybe it was a little weird to hold food privileges over your head like that. But what did you know? They were your parents after all. Who were you to question them. It wasn’t like they hit you or anything. More so just seemed perpetually irritated with both you and your muggle sister.

This time Sirius spoke up, “And if you didn’t do your chores?” He didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. He was trying to get you to understand how not normal your childhood seemed to be. How maybe just maybe your parents weren’t looking out for you as they should’ve been. He was more than concerned. And now that he’s finally broken free from his own Godforsaken family maybe he could help you with yours.

See, Sirius Black really liked you. Really, really liked you. But you’d never be able to figure that out as he hid his feelings for you under a tight lock and key. James, Remus, and Peter didn’t even seem to have a clue. Not that they should’ve known, he hid it well. Hid it for your sake. He’d decided long ago that your heart was better suited for somebody not as fucked up as him. He didn’t think he could give you what you deserved. He was broken and had far too much baggage for you.

Instead of trying to pursue you he went the opposite route. He decided to pursue every other girl he found remotely attractive at Hogwarts. A distraction from you. And boy was it quite the distraction.

Biting your lip, you didn’t know if you wanted to admit what did happen if you skipped your daily chores. It only happened once. You missed the car home from school once and had to walk, never dreaming of calling your mum or dad. You completely spaced on cleaning the toilet and your mum wasn’t very pleased once she got home.

Sighing you decided to just tell them. The look in Sirius’ face let you know he was not going to let it go, “It only happened once…” You trailed off feeling a little embarrassed to admit that your mum really did hold food back as a punishment. It just dawned on you how messed up that was. She literally didn’t feed you because you didn’t scrub a toilet on time… damn, that was messed up.

Sirius eyebrows rose as he waited for you to continue. When you didn’t he chose his next words carefully, “What happened love?”

An attempt to laugh it off came out, “Well, mum always said I could stand to lose a few kilo’s…” You looked away quickly from him and down to your hands in your lap. Embarrassment of what you just admitted washing over you rapidly. It’s almost as if you could feel the anxiety rising in your chest as you reminded yourself to breathe in and out.

Lily gave your arm a squeeze, “She literally didn’t feed you?” Nothing but concern was in her eyes as she bore them right into your own.

“It only happened once.” You repeated more to yourself than to them. Because the more you thought about it the more you realized just how fucked your entire childhood was.

Being so wrapped up in your own mind you didn’t hear Sirius get up from the table. A gentle hand on your back made you jump. Turning your head up to him he gave you a soft smile, “Take a walk with me?” He held his hand out for you to take. You didn’t really want to take a walk with him. You wanted to run back to your dorm and bury yourself underneath the covers for the next week in shame. Hide away from your problems.

In your hesitation he softened his expression knowing exactly why you were acting this way. He too was in utter denial at just how messed up his home situation was until James sat him down. He knew it was embarrassing and completely out of your control. He knew you didn’t want five sets of eyes watching you as you finally learned and processed just how neglectful your parents were. It was hard. Impossible even. Something he wished he could take from you.

“If you want to, love.” He continued holding his hand out to you.

Giving him a quick nod, you placed your hand in his gingerly, “Yeah, of course.” You got up from the bench with the help of Sirius. Not daring to turn back around at your friends you followed behind Sirius as he walked out of the Great Hall holding his hand tightly over yours. You missed the saddened looks from your friends as you disappeared behind the doors.

He only dropped your hand when you started to pull away from him, “Are you alright?” Sirius asked quietly making sure the students passing by couldn’t hear in on the conversation between the two of you.

You nodded your head quickly, “I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” It might’ve been a little bit of a white lie, but you didn’t want him worrying about you. No, Sirius had a million other problems, and you didn’t want to add to his own stresses.

A sad look crossed his own features now. Slowing down he pulled you to sit down on the bench just inside the courtyard, “Love, you can talk to me. You know that right? I… I’ve gone through the same bloody abusive things you have. I didn’t… couldn’t admit that it was happening to me. It wasn’t until Prongs forced a hand last year and it finally clicked. I had to get out of there. I… we’re worried about you. You came back to school not looking like your usual happy self two years in a row. I… we just need to know if you’re alright.”

Your eyebrows creased together listening to him, “Abusive?” The word came out as a whisper. Were your parents abusive? They didn’t hit you. They never struck you or your sister. But abuse didn’t just come in the form of physical punishment. Were they mentally abusive to you? Could you really have gone your whole life so clueless to their antics?

He nodded with that same grim look on his face, “You told me a few days ago how your dad was always medicated and slept his life away. When he wasn’t high he was yelling at you and your sister… you have to know that’s not okay darling. That’s not a normal functioning thing a loving parent would do.”

Letting out the breath you were holding your eyes slowly found his. Of course, you knew Sirius would never judge you, but that little tinge of embarrassment was making your heart race, “Oh… wow.” Was all that came to your mind. Because wow. You thought you had a decent childhood. Really, it never seemed that awful. There were always things you wanted. And you got all the love you needed from your sister. But damn this was a lot for you to comprehend all at once.

Sirius let you sit there and think before gently giving your hand a squeeze. He just wanted you to know he was there for you. He’d always be there for you. It broke his heart that somebody could want to hurt you. You of all people. So, kind. So gracious. The patience of a saint. Smartest girl he’d ever met. And yet you were so humble about it all. You were the whole package. Everything Sirius wanted and everything he knew he couldn’t have.

“Is your sister okay?” He asked as he ran a comforting hand up and down your arm.

Your stomach twisted in knots as you thought about just how much she went through when you weren’t there. How much did she hide? She’s the one that basically forced you out of the house as soon as you got the letter from Hogwarts all those years ago. A horrifying realization set in. She forced you out to help you. To get you away from the people you thought loved you. She sacrificed her own wellbeing so you could go off and be away for ten months of the year. She was looking out for you. She was always protecting you.

“She’s at uni now.” Your voice was shaky as you spoke to him. Naturally, your older sister would do that. She’d do anything to protect you, “Has a flat with some friends. She… should be okay.”

“Good.” A quick nod came from the beautiful raven haired boy sitting next to you.

“Yeah,” Looking back down at your hands you continued, “I think I need to write her a letter.”

It felt shameful to finally understand what you’d went through as a child. Had you really been that clueless? Had your sister protected you from the worst of it? The twisting and turning inside your body only made you feel worse. Insignificant. Dumb.

“She’d probably like that.” He agreed with you. He didn’t want to push you to talk but his heart was slowly crumbling into a million pieces seeing you so despondent and confused. He wanted nothing more than to wrap you up in his arms and tell you how truly beautiful he found you. He wanted to be the one to build you up like James had done for him the previous summer. He wanted you to be free. Be the woman he knew you could be.

Humming in agreement it felt like your head was about to explode. What were you supposed to say to him? Why couldn’t you even look at him? Did your parents really hate you that much? Why didn’t you notice this at the time?

Sirius watched as he saw the turmoil flash across your expression. You were thinking hard about this, too hard. See, Sirius knew you well. Better than you might’ve known yourself. From the moment he knew he liked you he decided he’d watch after you. He knew your tells. Your anxieties. The things that kept you up at night. He’d made himself your very best friend. Little did he know he’d made you fall in love with him at the same time. Just like you, he hadn’t a clue of how you felt for him.

“Darling, you know you don’t have to go back there right?” He whispered while brushing stray hair away from your face. A shiver ripped down your spine at the gentlest touch from the most handsome boy you knew. It felt intimate the way he was both touching and looking at you.

Your eyes went wide at the comment. Could you really not go back there? They were only muggles. It’s not like they could find you if you just… disappeared. And if Sirius could get away from his powerful family in the wizarding world, why couldn’t you sneak away from them?

“Siri… they’re my parents…” A groan of frustration finally bubbled to the surface as you really thought about it. They were your parents yes, but did they love you? Did they want the best for you? Did they even want you home? Was that why it was so easy to convince them to let you go to Hogwarts? You wouldn’t be their responsibility anymore?

“I can’t just… I can’t…” Not being able to find the words you desperately wanted to say left you giving your own head a squeeze in frustration. Why was this so difficult?

He took your hands that covering your face in his own and pulled them away gently. He didn’t want you hurting yourself as your life just got rocked upside down. He knew it’d take time for you to fully come to terms with what the hell was going on.

“You can. You can let it go. You can let them go.” He answered you softy. His eyes scanned the surrounding area to make sure nobody was close before continuing, “You have us. Lily. Me. We’d do anything for you love. You know the Potter’s have a room for you already. Mia and Fleamont love you!”

You shook your head rapidly, “I can’t do that Siri! I’ll be nothing but a burden.” Hot tears welled up in the corner of your eyes. Trying to blink them back only let them fall down your face instead, “I can’t be a burden Sirius.” Your voice wobbled as you tried to calm down, take a breath. But even you knew that wasn’t going to happen.

Not having any of it he quickly wiped your tears away before taking your chin in his hands, “Please stop saying you can’t. You can. I know you can. You don’t deserve whatever they’re doing to you darling. You deserve the world and so much more.”

The look he was giving you only made more tears fall. Trying your hardest to keep them in you finally just gave up. You were going to cry like a little baby in front of him. The walls you put up were crumbling down with a simple touch and his look.

He wrapped you in his arms and pulled you into his chest. Pulling the Gryffindor robe around your head to shield you from any looks that’d be coming your way. He didn’t want anybody to see you hurt and broken. He wanted to protect you. To make you feel whole again.

He let you cry it out over the better part of five minutes not giving a damn that your tears were soaking through his clothing. He only pulled you tighter and closer after each small sob wracked your fragile body. He ran a comforting hand up and down your back as you clinked to him.

He whispered, “It’s okay love. We’ll figure it out. We always do.” Over and over again trying to reassure you but damn was it hard seeing the girl he loved so upset.

After he felt the sobs wind down and the tears dry up he knew he had to get you back to that dorm to clean you up. Help you feel refreshed and somewhat like a human once more.

Gently, he pulled you away from his chest. And if his heart wasn’t already shattered it surly was now by the look on your face. Layers of distrust and hurt clouded your eyes as you finally really processed how messed up your life outside of Hogwarts really was.

“Come on love. Let’s get you back to the common room, yeah?” He whispered into your ear trying his best not to startle you.

“Alright.” You wiped the stray tears that kept falling away.

He didn’t give you much of a choice after that and for that you were immensely grateful. He took control of the situation, something you needed more than you knew. Pulling you into his side he took his house robe off, draping it over you instead so none of the other students could see your face that had been so clearly crying. He had to protect you from the terrible gossips from Hufflepuff that wouldn’t shut up about it for weeks. The last thing you needed was for some asshole Slytherin to make a joke in class at your expense. He knew how the students here operated.

He mumbled the password to the Fat Lady making sure you were covered entirely. She too was a terrible gossip. He pulled you right into the men’s shared restrooms not giving a shit if another boy was in there, he’d shoo them out and lock the door behind them. Perks of everybody being afraid of the Marauders for their pranks. Fortunately for the both of you nobody was there.

Sirius motioned for you to sit down at the bench near the faucets. Before you knew what he was up to he came back over with a wet rag and a sad expression still adorned, “I’m going to wipe down your cheeks if that’s okay with you love?”

“Please?” It came out as more of whisper as you didn’t trust your voice not to waver at the moment. You didn’t trust that you weren’t going to break down into another fresh set of tears at the way he was so delicately caring for you. You always knew he was the sweetest boy, but you didn’t know quite how far his kindness extended. He was going above and beyond, and it wasn’t lost on you. It only made your heart beat a little bit fast as he delicately wiped down your salt stained cheeks with a lukewarm rag. He was treating you as if you were the finest dish of China that would crack under any sort of pressure.

“You deserve so much more darling.” He spoke as he continued cleaning up mess you’d made on your face.

You didn’t want to argue but you didn’t exactly feel the same way. Why did you deserve more? Why was he saying these things?

“I don’t think so Siri. I think I got dealt the cards I deserve.” You couldn’t look at him. Your eyes were turned down to look at your feet.

He wanted to curse your parents. He wanted to curse himself. He didn’t understand how somebody like you could think so lowly of themselves. How couldn’t you see how amazing you really were?

He let out a strangled sigh in frustration at himself for not building you up. He’d been too damn caught up distracting himself from you that he didn’t do the one thing he swore he would, protect you.

“Love, look at me.” He stayed squatting so your face was at his level. He put the rag down on the bench next to you, “Please?”

And who were you to deny such a gentle request from him. You bit your cheek as your eyes locked with his once more.

“I’m not lying or kidding or joking around when I say that you deserve so much more.” He cupped your face in his hands. Taking a deep breath, he knew this was the moment when all those feelings were about to spill out. He’d hidden them for his sake, but you needed to hear them now, “You are the kindest, sweetest, most patient woman I know. I want to spend time with you love. I get excited when I get to sit next to you in class. I look forward to every breakfast, lunch, and dinner because I get to sit next to you. You make my days so much brighter. It’s you, love. You helped piece me back together without even knowing it. It’s you that I want to spend the most time with. You’ve made me the best person that I could be. You.” He spoke slowly making sure that you heard every single word.

Your heart was racing beyond measure at his impassioned speech, “Siri…”

He shook his head placing a soft finger over your mouth, “You are one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I’d be a fool not to tell you how much I adore you. How much I love you…” He paused seeing your eyes go wide. He threw it out there, the L word. But fuck it. He knew he loved you. You needed to know just how much, “I love you darling. With my whole heart. I love you and I’m in love with you. So deeply.”

More tears fell at that. So many more fell. He didn’t pressure you to say a word as he cleaned wiped them away the more they fell. He’d sit here for hours if that’s what you needed. He’d come to realize he’d do anything for you. He loved you. He was madly in love with you.

Between the tears and the cries, you managed to confess the same, “I love you too. So much Siri.”

You launched yourself into his arms knocking him over leaving the two of you on the restroom floor. Thank heavens they get cleaned more often than not. Your saddened tears turned to ones of happiness as the feeling of dread was being overtaken by that of love. His love had done this for you. He had done it for you. He really did love you.

Wrapping you in his arms he stood with ease while also holding onto you. He didn’t want you lying on the men’s restroom floor. No matter how elated he was that you’d just confessed that you loved him right on back.

Once your feet were back on solid ground he wasted no time in holding your face in his hands, “I’m going to kiss you now.”

Smiling for the first time that day all your brain could think was, “Yes, please.”

That was all he needed to hear before he met his lips with yours. He delicately wrapped a hand around the nape of your neck to support you. He smiled into the kiss feeling how needy you already seemed to be.

You ran your hands all along his chest as you deepened the kiss showing him just how badly you wanted him. Needed him at the moment. Your hands ran through his locks of hair eliciting the hottest moan you’d ever heard. Smiling yourself, you knew you’d be doing that often in the future.

He snaked his other hand around your waist pulling you flush with his own body. Opening your mouth, you let out a soft whimper of pleasure feeling him so tightly pressed against you. Without breaking the kiss, he pushed you on the wall. Not giving you a single millimeter of space between the two of your bodies.

Your head swam with nothing but raunchy thoughts of him. Oh, how your mind was on cloud nine. It was only when he needed a breath he pulled away. Still his face was only mere centimeters from yours as the two of you panted for the sweet oxygen you’d deprived yourselves of.

“That was…” You spoke after a moment of simply staring into his beautiful pupil blown brown eyes. Your eyes scanned his face spotting the light blush on his cheeks, the freckles that seemed to be more prominent under the flush. He was so beautiful. More handsome than anybody you knew or had ever seen. And he was yours. He loved you and you loved him.

“Bloody hell, love.” He smiled before wrapping you up in yet another mind shattering kiss. Surely, you could get used to this, “You are everything and more. I love you darling.” He whispered before picking you right back up in his arms. All you could do was squeal and giggle with delight letting him take you to wherever he wanted.

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patrophthia · 9 months

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make you mine | sirius black

⇢ now playing ‘get up’: track 1

pairing: sirius black x reader

wc: 1.7k

genre: angst (maybe)?, one sided pining but not really, shy!reader, maybe OOC sirius

summary: it’s hard having crushes, it’s even harder when you’re someone who’s on the shyer side crushing on someone as popular as sirius black; good things lily evans has it in herself to play a little bit of matchmaker!

Opposite attracts. That’s what they say. And for the most part you believe it’s true. Take magnets for example: the same forces repels whilst the opposite poles pulls each other in.

You believe that it’s true once again when you realise that you might just be very attracted to someone who was quite literally the opposite of who you are.

“So who is it?” Lily asks, sitting down besides you. “Don’t feed me the whole ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about spiel’ you’ve been more smiley lately, who is it?”

You actually hate Lily Evan (well . . . It’s debatable, she’s your best friend after all). “It’s no one important.”

“It’s not?” She says slowly, as if she was testing out the words. “Is it a crush or a boyfriend?”

“Crush. No more questions.”

“Is it one of James’ friends?” She asks, pushing at your buttons. “Is it Sirius?” A gasp. “Seriously? Him of all people?”

Okay now you do actually hate Lily Evans. “It’s not that big of a deal,” you mumble, avoiding her eyes. “It’s a small crush, it'll go away.”

“It better.” Despite her words, her green eyes lights up, excited by the prospect of your love life. “How long has this ‘small crush’ been going on? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“A week maybe?” You lay your head on your table. “Didn’t tell you because I knew you’d act like this.”

“Like what?” She feigns a pout. “Judging you for your horrid taste in men? Let’s be honest here, it’d be a hassle to date Black.”

“You say that as if Sirius would ever date me.”

“Now why would you say that?” Lily frowns now, pushing her red hair back behind her ears. “Sirius is a huge red flag, yeah, but he’d be lucky if he ever lands you.”

You know she means well, but in truth; you’d be the lucky one if you landed Sirius Black of all people. “Does he even know my name?”

“He—” Lily pauses, “—I think he does.” She then sighs exasperatedly. “But even if he doesn’t, what does it matter? It just means that you’d have new ground to cover when you go out with him.”

“You expect me to talk about what my name is on my date with Sirius? —if I even land a date with Sirius.” You say incredulously.

“Not just your name,” Lily says. “It’s just one of the many conversations you could have on your date with him. And on that other matter, it’ll be easy for you to land a date on Sirius, he’s Sirius for Merlin’s sake.”

“He’s Sirius, Lils. Not a playboy,” you mumble. “I doubt he’d go out with someone who’s not even half as good looking as him.”

Lily grumbles, reaching over to pinch at your sides. “Are you really saying that about yourself? HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELF, Yn?”

Overly supportive, that’s what your best friend is and despite her other annoying traits —like knowing you so well she was able to tell that you had a crush on her boyfriend’s best friend in a split second, you know she means well.

“It’s not just about looks, Lils.”

“Hey! You’re the one who brought looks into this conversation,” she argues. “And if it’s not just about looks, Sirius will still be lucky to have you because you’re annoyingly fun to be around. So just— ask him out, Yn. The worst he can do is say no.”

Yes, the worst he can do is say no. But that single no would be enough to ruin your entire week. So you’d settle for just admiring him from afar.

Except —well, Lily has other things planned.

“Sirius, this is Yn,” Lily says with a sly smile, “Yn, this Sirius. Remember his name, I know he has a forgettable face.” That little—

“Hi Sirius.” Is all you say to him, nothing more, nothing less; he doesn’t need to know about how he’s been plaguing your mind all week. “You don’t have a forgettable face, don’t worry about it.”

Sirius is kind enough to laugh it off, smiling fondly at you. You like him, you think— no, you know, you do. “I don’t even know why Evans is introducing me to you, I know you, Yn. We’re in the same classes, I’ve known you for the last seven years of my life.”

“I know you too, Sirius.” You gulp, trying to think of something else to say. What was wrong with you today? You’re normally a little more talkative than this. It's something odd about Sirius that makes you feel this way though, maybe it’s because of how sickeningly handsome he is. Yeah, that’s it. Blame it on his handsomeness. “I’ve always known you too.”

“Mhmm,” Lily hums —maybe a little bit too delightfully. “So tell me Sirius, I’m a bit curious here. What do you look for in a significant other?”

Is she— really doing this? Right now?

Sirius chuckles, playing it cool. “Are you hitting on me right now, Evans? Is prongs not enough for you?”

Lily scoffs, rolling her eyes. “You wish. I’m just asking because I wanted to know what it takes for the notorious Sirius Black to finally settle down.”

Sirius mulls it over for a second. “I guess I’m looking for someone loud (not you), funny (you at times), understanding (you guess), and kind (you could only hope you are).” He glances at you, then adds. “It wouldn’t hurt if they were pretty too.”

If that’s what it takes for Sirius Black to settle down, maybe it was time for you to start working on those traits. You need to start taking the initiative because even though you might seem super shy, you’re convinced (been convinced by Lily) that it’ll only take you a minute to make Sirius Black yours.

So, throughout the next hour of you, Lily, and the Marauder’s little hang out session, you try to be more vocal. Talk more, making yourself heard as much as possible despite hating the attention that came with it.

You crack jokes, here and there; a few funny enough to earn a pity laugh from Lily until you give up completely. Maybe comedy wasn’t your strongest suit.

You try your best to offer advice when Peter confides his problems with the group, only to realise a few minutes too late that it was better to listen than to say. How understanding could you be if you weren’t even listening to the explanation in the first place?

And as for being kind? Everybody could always be a little bit kinder, that’s not excluding you.

Maybe you weren’t really fit to be the one Sirius Black settles down for. Maybe it’ll take more than a minute to make Sirius Black yours, maybe it won’t even happen at all.

You need to take a breather, you think. You excuse yourself from the group, startling Lily slightly as she begins drifting off on James’ shoulder. You take a deep breath the second you find yourself alone. Letting yourself reiterate your situation.

You like Sirius Black. Terrible so. You don’t know why you do. You just know that you like seeing him pass by you in the hallways, like seeing him live his life as the popular guy from Gryffindor, like seeing him smile fondly at you when Lily introduces you to him, likes hearing him say that he knows you, he knows you and what you horribly like most: is hearing him say that it wouldn’t hurt if his significant other was pretty as he looked at you.

It’s sick. It’s sickeningly twisted how such words—mere actions could have such an effect on you. If only you weren’t so shy around him, maybe then you could tell him just how much liked him. How much it ached you to yearn for him as much as you did despite knowing nothing about him past his pretty face.

“Is it okay if I join you?” It is sick how he finds it in himself to seek you out at a time like this. You nod, and he leans against a wall close by. “Are you okay? You seem different today.”

You’re quiet for a moment, you then turn to him slowly. “How so?”

“You’re louder, I’ve never seen you speak so much in the last seven years I’ve known you. You also made jokes which were weird since you’ve always been the one for snarky comments.” And when you furrow your brows at him, he explains himself. “I overhear them sometimes when you mock the Professors. I guess. . . You’re just not the you I know today, is something wrong?”

You blink slowly, processing the words. Sirius noticed those things about you? “I guess I’m just tired.”

“You’re loud when you’re tired?” He says with a sly smirk. “Are you sure you’re not just trying to impress me?”

And if you were? “No.”

Sirius frowns playfully. “Awh, and here I thought I finally had my chance with you.”

“What?” You’re pretty sure your brain is short circuiting because there is no way that this conversation is real. Nope. Not at all.

Sirius chuckles at you, finding you more than just adorable. “I fancy you, Yn. I’ve fancied you for a while now, I just didn’t want to say anything because I knew you were shy about these things so I waited for you to take the first move. But it’s been months and I’m getting tired of waiting so I asked Evans to introduce us tonight just in case you didn’t know who I was but you still wouldn’t take the hint.”

“When will you take the hint and make me yours, Yn?”

You feel as though your heart was in your throat, staring at Sirius who has patiently waited for you all this time. And you wondered if he’d wait even longer if you asked him to. “Sirius,” you say first, his name feeling foreign in your mouth. It’s both so familiar and new at the same time. “Sirius, I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he responds carefully. “I just need to know if you feel the same. A nod. A kiss. Anything. Anything to mark me as yours, I will take it.”

You don’t say anything and he tries to be okay with it, he tries to give you time. You’re not like him, you don’t think like he does, your thoughts differ from his and he thinks that’s why he likes you so much. He likes you so much because opposite attracts, and you are different from him enough for him to feel drawn to you.

“Sirius,” you say finally.

Sirius watches you with bated breath, “yes?”

“Let me take you out on a date,” you say first; Sirius waits for you to say more, of course he does, he’ll wait for you even if it’s all he’ll ever do. “And then I promise to make you mine. Does that sound okay?”

Sirius nods. Of course he nods. Who was he to ever deny you anything?

— from bee: 1/4 of our four boys down! super shy is probably my least fav track on the ep but is still super addictive to listen to

#— series: get up #sirius black x you #sirius black angst #sirius black fanfic #sirius black fluff #sirius black x reader #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x female reader #sirius black x yn #sirius black x oc

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veryberryjelly · 7 months

Text

letters & headstones

pairing : wolfstar x reader

🎃 - exploring a graveyard

👻 - " are you scared ? "

𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞

it wasn't an intentional visit.

the three of you had been walking back from a pub night with all of your friends and before you could even comprehend the way remus was leading you and sirius, you were being pulled through the gates of a cemetery.

one you passed on your way to work every day.

and one you avoided every time you walked past it.

cemeteries freaked you out to no end.

the fact that you could walk over dead people didnt sit right with you.

but it was a tradition remus and sirius had created a while ago and you wanted to be apart of it.

every october they'd go to the graveyard where remus' mother was buried.

remus would lay down new flowers, clean up her headstone, and would leave a letter amongst the flowers.

one that detailed all the important things going on in his life so she could know he was okay.

you felt lucky to be a part of this tradition.

as you stepped in time with your boys, a twig underneath one of their shoes snapping made you jump slightly, causing a slight laugh to slip from sirius' lips.

" are you scared ? " riser teased, a smile settling on both his and remus' lips now.

" no, got my big strong boys to protect me " you tightened your grip on both of their arms, your head resting against the top of remus' arm.

he pressed a short kiss onto of your head before coming to a stop among the rows of stones above the ground. you loosened your arm from his, giving his hand a soft squeeze before letting him go.

sirius had given you a short brief as to how this normally goes.

sirius usually left remus to talk to his mum on his own instead of intruding, he was just there for moral support.

and you were happy to be there for his moral support as well.

you kept your arm locked around sirius', both of you watching as remus pulled away all of the dead flowers and weeds from her headstone.

it was quite an intimate thing to watch.

while remus was well aware both you and sirius were watching him, he was more focused on setting down the flowers and the letter.

the letter that entailed everything that had gone on in the past year, himself and sirius finally making their move on you, the three of you moving into a place that was for all of you, and the savings he had started building up to put towards your futures, no matter what that looked like.

after a few minute, he stood from the floor and returned to you and sirius, pressing a short kiss onto each of your lips before taking your hand.

" c'mon, let's get out of here before you get too scared " he teased causing you to lightly hit his arm.

and when sirius laughed too he got the same treatment.

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hoaxriot · 8 months

Text

FOR THE FIRST TIME

pairings. sirius black x fem!reader

synopsis. years had passed and your daughter was at hogwarts. your husband was out and had not showed himself yet.

notes. this is part two coney island! i also put a name for the kid but you can imagine any other name or gender i just chose this so it would be easier to write. this follows the scenes of the movie in the shrieking shack. idk why i wrote most of the scene but i felt it was important and some things are a bit different.

it had been years since your friends were murdered by one of your best friends and your husband was put in askaban for it. of course, years since you had given birth to your only kid, your daughter— celeste. she had become your entire world after she was born.

you continued to live with remus after because you still needed that help and he was glad to do it. his dream became true and he had became uncle moony.

celeste’s first words were moony and he was thrilled about it, soon after she turned one you moved back home but he was still around. life had started to become better as celeste grew up, everything was okay again. you still missed your friends dearly but after celeste you knew you could not stay in bed all day, she made you happy.

when your daughter started to grow you knew she was a wizard which made you happy. time came around where she could finally understand that other families had a father around and she didn’t.

the right age, you sat her down and explained to her in the best way possible with remus to help.

then it was time for celeste to go to hogwarts and you to become a professor. ever since then, life had been better. your daughter was sorted into gryffindor and she had found herself friends, she was happy so you were too. of course, one of her friends were harry potter which made you happy but he had not know you even though his father was your best friend.

just days before now, you had learned the truth about who killed your friends and who was framed because of remus lupin. that’s how you found yourself running into the whomping willow like you had done multiple times before.

your daughter was in there, you knew of it. you watched as remus shoved the door open and yell a spell. you ran in behind him to see your husband, sirius black on the floor with remus pointing his wand at him. you looked up to see your daughter standing beside hermione with fear struck in her eyes.

moving your eyes back to your husband who was being pulled up by remus into a hug, “i found him!” you heard sirius say causing a frown to come upon your lips. sirius had not noticed you standing behind remus.

“let’s kill him.” sirius said pulling away from the hug, you still stood frozen behind remus. too in shock, your husband was in front of you while your kid was a few feet away from you. sirius was older just like you, he has a beard and he still wore his askaban clothing.

hermione started to yell at remus causing him to turn towards the girl, then sirius saw you. it didn’t feel real the way you stood in front him, you looked the same as you did the night he got taken away. sirius has waited for this moment since then, he saw you look towards the kids. confused he sees you meeting eye contact with one that looked like him and you. was that—

he got distracted by remus and his anger. remus told him to wait after he started to yell.

“i did my waiting! twelve years of it… in askaban!” sirius yelled in desperation causing tears to evade your eyesight and your daughter to flinch.

remus gave his wand to sirius, “very well, kill him. but wait one more minute. harry has the right to know why.” the potter boy started to yell at sirius and remus blaming him for the death of his parents. he had every right to, he didn’t know. then professor snape came in. harry then yelled a spell and he went flying. celeste scrambled back against the wall causing you to look at her in sadness, this must’ve been so confusing for her.

then somehow sirius got rons rat from him and turned him back to what he truly was, peter pettigrew. they dragged him from the hole in the wall, pushing him into the middle of the room. sirius grabbed your hand and pushed you behind him a bit.

of course, peter tried to play nice in some way but he was failing miserably. he also failed at trying to get his way. now you were walking behind the granger girl with your daughter as she held onto your hand tightly. she always thought she would run straight into her father’s arms but neither of you did.

once you climbed out of the whomping willow, sirius put ron down and celeste dragged you away.

“mom, why didn’t you hug dad?” she questioned letting go of your hand facing you, you smiled sweetly at her.

“i wanted to, badly. things were a bit difficult down there.” the both of you laughed lightly. your smiled dropped when you saw sirius making his way to the two of you. celeste noticed your expression and before she could say or do anything you took off in a jog to jump into sirius’s arms.

sirius caught you with a large smile as he wrapped his arms around your waist, clinging onto, all the years he missed with you. you still had the same vanilla smell to you, the same grip you always had on him when the two of you hugged.

there was just one thing different— the kid watching you, the kid who immediately ran into your arms and stayed with you until now. you could feel sirius lose his grip on your jacket, you knew what he was looking at so you pulled away still holding onto his arm.

“c’mere.” you said to him as you pulled his arm towards celeste, you felt her nervousness so you smiled at her.

“sirius, this is celeste,” you saw his smile grow at the name, he had brought the name up one time when you two were talking about kids, “celeste, this is sirius… your father, as you know.” you spoke looking at her, she was quiet which scared sirius until she threw herself into him, very hardly causing him to let out a small ‘hmph.’

nonetheless, he hugged her back. you smiled at the interaction. he then heard her start to cry, your smile dropped a bit but you knew she was just like you and cried at overwhelming times. sirius then brought his hand to her head rubbing it comfortingly. at that action, she gripped onto him harder.

sirius opened his eyes to see your eyes filled with tears, he laughed a bit also knowing how you were, crying when you were happy. celeste heard him and pulled away to see you as a tear fell down your cheek.

“mum!” she laughed at you making you gasp playfully, “don’t mum me, you’re crying too.” you spoke pointing at her tear covered face. she then copied your playful gasp.

“don’t mind me, i just met my dad.” celeste joked causing sirius to laugh, she had humor just like him which made him smile as he laughed. he moved to stand beside you wrapping his arm around your waist.

“let’s go home,” he whispered into your ear but then you were distracted by each other again when remus started to transform causing the moment to be ruined.

that night was only a few nights ago, but now you were sitting in the noble house of black on the floor around the coffee table playing a game with celeste and sirius.

games had become something you and celeste did every night she was home, sirius was more than glad to be apart of that.

he finally had what he has always wanted, you— his wife. a kid who loved him and who he loved, giving her a life he had never once had. he was free and happy.

#marauders #marauder era #sirius black #sirius black x female reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #james potter #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #sirius black x oc

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hotchfiles · 4 months

Note

hello i love your writing so much and! i saw the prompts on your list and i just

omg.

i could barely choose.

but

18 with marauders era sirius 👀👀

please and thank you🙏🙏🙏

send me one of my boys + a prompt

sirius + reader ⋆ feeling hot all over the place after the kiss ) #)'?&)%+#

"you're blushing, mon trésor." his voice merely a whisper, his lips still so close to yours you can feel the warmth from him inhaling and exhaling so smoothly, so effortlessly, his hands on your waist, his forehead glued to yours.

and oh, you were blushing, you were panting, that wasn't your first kiss by any means but you've been flirting with sirius for months now, glancing at each other at parties, and you always having an extra hair tie on your wrist for when he started to seem bothered by his strands attaching to his face when he began to sweat, and you would gently go through his hair and tie it up for him, and he would thank you with the most beautiful smile, a chaste kiss to your forehead, a few french praise words you were sure he learnt only to make girls like you melt for him. and it worked, you were indeed melting, "no, i'm so not!" you replied, hands to your cheeks and you looked away from him, the blushing was obvious but you still denied it, you didn't want to seem silly, or too eager, and you definitely didn't want him to know how hot only that kiss made you feel, or how you had to mentally keep yourself from moaning or how you felt like crossing your thighs (or entangling them around his waist). because that was sirius black, he was cool, he was brilliant, he had girls sometimes literally falling for him, but he was selective of who deserved his attention, and he was just so gorgeous and you didn't want him to see you as some weird fangirl of sorts. "oh, you are, you are all adorably red, my dear." you feel his fingers pull your chin so you can look up to him once more, finding a smile you think you never got from him, it seemed almost shy. and eyes sparkling just like the star he was named after, sincerity pouring from them. "it's a'ight, you didn't catch it but i got shivers all over." that earns him a giggle from you as you begin to feel more at ease knowing you weren't the only one feeling more than just the touch of the lips, that he too was as elated as you were. and in honesty, he really was, as the flirting progressed he couldn't stop himself from thinking about kissing you, and he knew you wanted it too, it wasn't an insecurity thing, no, sirius wasn't the type, his targets were always certain, only this time it felt like he was the target, the victim, his heart hit with the biggest arrow cupid could find, so he enjoyed the flirting a little longer, the glancing, the lingering of your fingers on his when you accidentally touched him, the tenderness of how you showed him you cared in such little acts. he wanted the kiss to be special too, meaningful, the panting and the blushing and how hard you gripped to his waist was a delightful bonus, so he waited until the perfect day came, the sky the bluest he's ever seen, but still with enough beautiful white clouds to look at and wonder what they looked like. a past time you told him you had as a kid in some silly conversation you thought he wouldn't remember. but he did remember, as he remembers all you've ever talked about, as he'll remember the way you gasped for air after he pulled away from your first kiss, as he'll remember the shivers that went down his spine in the most delicious way and how he felt like he was at the top of the world. and he hopes you'll remember it too. but if you don't, that's ok too, he intends to keep getting you hot and bothered for him for as long as you let him.

#first of all crying at the compliment just gotta say that ok #second of all i dont know how to write in a linear timeline apparently #im insane and sirius is cute and charming #sirius black x you #sirius black imagine #sirius black scenario #sirius black x reader #sirius black x oc #sirius x you #sirius x reader #sirius x y/n #lari writes blurbs

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whorediaries-09 · 4 months

Note

Hey!! Could you do one where Sirius and reader were dating during hogwarts but they broke up after harry was born but they were already his godparents. After James and Lily die, Sirius doesn’t go to Azkaban so they have to reunite to take care and raise Harry.

hi love, thank you for sending in the request. it's a great idea, and could have been longer than what i have written to be honest, but i was running short on time. i still hope you like it <3

maroon;

pairing- sirius black x reader warning(s)- hurt/comfort, drinking, alludes to sexual assault. (let me know if i should add more) a/n- i wanted to write a fic using this song for so long. anon i love you cause i have the perfect opportunity to do that now 👯‍♂️

the slut club

and I wake with your memory over me that's a real fucking legacy to leave,

you're sure you can still hear his ringing distinctive laughter through the photograph. the photograph you hold has faded away its brightest hue, along with the smile of james potter and his heartbeat. you cradle his almost doppelgänger on your knee if it wasn't for his bright emerald eyes. he sucks on his thumb, while brandishing a twig in thin air. (after you had successfully convinced him it was a wand)

'honey, look, it's your papa,' you say, flashing his father's picture on his eyeline. you wonder if he recalls his features as his grubby fingers grab at the photograph. you wonder if you'd had to introduce his father to him if he weren't dead.

the doorknob clicks. the footsteps knocking on the floor are similar but it still sends a wave of coldness through your veins. your jaw tightens.

'i'm so sorry i'm late,' he says running his fingers through his hair. he picks up harry, and places a chaste kiss on his chubby cheek. you get up from the sofa.

'it's okay sirius, he's my godson too,' you say, loosening your tightened jaw. you crack your knuckles.

'buddy where'd you get this...twig?' you hear sirius ask harry. he flashes him a half toothed grin, shoving the twig in his ear.

'hey, hey no,' sirius scrunches his face in pain. you suppress a smile, throwing your coat over your shoulders.

'i convinced him it's a wand. he saw me using it to turn down the blinds and yeah, you know he's just like his father, stubborn,'

'you seen moony?' you ask. remus was the only person you could confide in at that moment. somethings seemed to be overwhelming. swallowing it up would seem like a great idea, but it wasn't. not in the long run. the run hadn't even started and you felt like your joints were rusted, lungs exhausted and heart beating too slowly. perhaps it was the after effects of a lorn tragedy. your breathing palpitated with the way sirius' gray eyes ran over your body.

'he's sulking as usual,' he replied, his mood suddenly in the halt of a shift.

'home?' you ask, your feet jittery.

'hm,'

you're not sure whether it's a tone of disapproval or jealousy. the latter seems dimensionally impossible, so you disapparate, to lupin's house.

*******

your eyes are torn of sleep, the half moon shining stark against the dark sky. the stillness of the night enveloped you, an uncomfortable warmth surrounding you. the night seemed stuffy, a prison of your thoughts. it was as if a weight of restlessness settled upon your bones, your mind and body battling to fall into a slumber. the darkness thundered a dance of troubled thoughts, which instead of providing solace was a battle against the dreams that awaited you on the other spectrum of sleep.

it's thud against your door. is it the wind? you search for your wand, and slowly whisper,

'lumos,'

the tip of your light enlightens into a beautiful solemn blue. you curl your toes, walking down the hallway. your voice is sore, dry and cracked when you speak, pressing your ear against the wood of the door.

'wh-who is it?'

'it's me, sirius.'

your hand wraps itself around the doorknob as your turn it, around, unlocking the door. it's not the first time he showed up at your house in the middle of the night. last time, when he came in he was drunk and red-eyed, searching for a bestowed comfort. while it wouldn't have mattered if it was someone else, it felt so wrong back then. he'd hugged you tight, your ribs almost breaking from the pressure. it made you reminisce of the days when he'd hug you, whispering i love you's in your ear. it made you reminisce of the days when he'd tickle you and you'd laugh till your ribs hurt. you remembered how he'd reeked of alcohol and tobacco, so unlike yet like him.

he stands there before you, his nose dripping blood, tears staining his cheeks. you stare at him hollow-eyed, your heart bleeding with an urge to hold him. but it seems like you're stuck, as if your blood is frozen, your senses too numb. he stammers, walking towards you. he smells like a flowery scent infused with the stench of beer. his words are broken when he speaks into your hair, his arms dropping on your body.

your lips are dry as your arms close around his shaking body.

'who did this to you?' you whisper. you feel his heartbeat beating against yours. his slows it's pace and yours picks up the pace as he lets the cruel words out of his mouth, offering you a broken story.

'this-this girl, she groped me when i was dancing with her. i thought it was by mistake a-at first, but-'

he breaks down, his sobs shattering every shard of your broken heart.

'it's fine, we'll get you a warm bath,' you whisper, slowly running your fingers down his spine. it's as if by instinct, or maybe old habit, you kiss his shoulder.

'i-i miss you.' he says.

'i'm right here,'

'no, i miss us.'

'sirius?'

he looks at you with an utmost expression of genuine love and it scares you. his gray eyes almost absorb your soul. it's as if your heart beats maniacally against your ribcage, while he captivates you. he feels like the perfect muse for your poems. he feels like the last bite of your cornetto. he feels like home.

he feels like he's yours.

you're scared. maybe the incarnations were roses after all.

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astraeaalstroemeria · 9 months

Text

Sirius Black Masterlist by Astraea

Rules & Navigation | Wizarding World Masterlist

Sirius Black

He was famous with women in Hogwarts in his youth and he slept with every one of them. But to him, those were just flings and no strings attached. When he truly falls in love with someone, he truly loves them and will do anything to prove his loyalty and love to them, and them only.

i can serenade and gently play on your heart strings (one-shot) (soon...)

ohh! my wifeyyy, where are you? (one-shot) (soon...)

it's not inside me to forget her (part-one) (all; soon..)

↳ while she's been away, living day-to-day was tough (part-two)

↳ it's just like seeing her for the first time again (part three) (final)

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fredsbetch · 2 months

Text

Hi, I recently started a James Potter fanfic called ‘Begin Again’. I upload as often as I can on Wattpad. My account is @/Jamesbetch.

It is a James Potter x OC. And it’s about the golden quartet (AKA Harry, Ron, Hermione, and my OC Luke (Harry’s younger brother)) traveling back in time, meeting their parents, attending Hogwarts in the 70’s and having to defeat Voldemort all over again while also saving others from death and/or betrayal.

I also started a Sirius Black fanfic called ‘The Return of Time’. I also upload on Wattpad.

It is a Sirius Black x OC. And it has a similar plot to my James Potter fanfic although it is not the same! In this story, it is just my OC, Lucerys (AKA Sirius’ and OC’s son) traveling back in time, meeting his parents, creating friendships, saving friendships, saving people from death and betrayal, and having to defeat Voldemort again with his parents and co.

I have tagged both stories down below and I would greatly appreciate it if you all would give it a read, comment, and vote on my stories. Thank you. :))

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lixzey · 6 months

Text

golden

in which sirius black's heart is held captive by certain ocean-eyed redhead.

sirius black x oc

sirius black x marigold evans

coming soon!

@helens3amstuff @gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @tchalamss @lilmaymayy @ashlynnmalfoy @crazycat-ladys-blog @michakune @mxltifxnd0m @spencerr3idd @dangelnleif @sthkate @ferrjulie @imnotoverlyobsessive

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shadowbriar · 1 year

Text

Sirius Black - Sweet Rubbish

Pairing : (F/M) || Sirius Black x Reader Word Count : 5.2k Warning : I don’t know, nothing I suppose. Synopsis : Their game of love hate pretend has to put to halt as Sirius gazed into the crystal ball. Notes : Post number 1 for my 7-days post celebration. If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕

“Divination is rubbish.”

Sirius whines as he drags his feet to the class, spiteful mumbles escaping his lips with every step closer to the dreadful lesson. He loathes Divination class, to say the least. Other than the fact that the Professor always rambles about nonsense Sirius could never comprehend, sharing the hour with her irks him to the bone.

“Just because your pea-sized brain couldn't compute the knowledge given does not mean the class is rubbish, Black.”

Sirius sent dagger eyes at the girl who now walks past him with her head held high. There is no unit in this entire universe that could measure the level of hatred he has for her. She's the bane to his existence. Not a day passed without him seeing her face and wanting to take out his wand to mess her beautifully combed hair or to hex her to trip from her graceful walk. Pity she is the way that she is. He would have admitted she's magnetising if she wasn't.

“Didn't your parents ever teach you that it is improper to reply to someone when they weren't talking to you in the first place?”

“You were yelling for the whole corridor to hear, I was only doing it out of pity from the lack of feedback. Even your friends look like they've had enough of your moans.” She replies, stopping her pace to turn at him with an unamused smile “You're not denying your pea-sized brain, then?”

“My brain isn't pea-sized, it's huge! Humongous even!”

“Of course it is.”

With another toxic laced smile, she turns away and continues her journey to the class. A complete contrast to the sulking boy, she seems to be in her best mood today. Divination has always been one of the many classes she excels at. She has a clever mind and witty brain, complementing her charming personality. Just another trait of hers Sirius detests.

“One way or another I will rip off that ever so brilliant smile off of her face.”

James scoffs, “Right, mate.”

“What was that?” Sirius turns to his friends, looking incredibly offended at the unamused expressions his friends were showing “Why don’t any of you ever believe it when I express my despise to that girl?”

“Because you’re all bark and no bite, Pads.” Remus chimes “You’ve hated her since you first laid eyes on her yet you never did anything. You even got mad at Wormy for accidentally pranking her back in 3rd year.”

“Indeed,” Nods Peter, looking rather pissed at the flashback of Sirius’ overdramatic anger at him a couple years back “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re secretly in love with her.”

“Me? In love with her?” He asks with a bewildered expression “I’d rather drown by the Black Lake than to ever imagine being in love with her.”

“If you say so, Pads.” James says, patting on his best friends’ shoulder as if he understands the underlying message Sirius was implying “If you say so.”

—-

Sirius stares blankly at the Professor’s face. His mind wanders elsewhere, completely detached to his surroundings. From the corner of his eyes, he could see her sitting just a few tables below him on the right. Her posture was straight as always, complete focus and attention poured to the lesson taught. Her house coloured headband glimmers under the light of the class, enhancing the beauty of her hair. Sirius has imagined running his finger through the soft strands of her hair every once in a while, wondering what scent her shampoo would be but he would rather be jinxed with the cruciatus curse than to ever admit it aloud.

He doesn’t love her. No, love is the complete opposite of the emotions he holds for her. Sirius hates her, loathes her in fact. He couldn’t pinpoint the fundamental reasoning behind his strong abhorrence for her, he just does. Perhaps the fact that she’s too good at everything, or that she’s genuinely loved by everyone including his best friends, or that she’s simply too perfect of a girl to ever be real.

Perhaps the idea of someone being too perfect that he couldn’t ever dream of being deserving of her, makes him hate her.

“This is horse shit.” James mumbles. The bespectacled boy then turns to the thick textbook laying on their table, skipping through the pages to find any interesting rituals they could do to fill in the time “Pads, do you want to see your future?”

Sirius glanced at James, confusion filling in his eyes, “What do you mean?”

“This,” James points at a spell on the Crystal Ball reading chapter “Looks a lot more fun than whatever mambo-jumbo the professor’s talking about, doesn't it?”

“Looks like another lark, that is.”

James rolled his eyes, “Shut up and stare at the ball. I’ll say the spell and you tell me what you see, alright?”

Sirius huffs, clearly wanting no part but hearing the Professor’s lecture for another minute would certainly burst his brain out. Reluctantly, he stares at the crystal ball with a hand supporting his chin. A small frown decorating his face. James’ whisper of the spell begins to enter his eardrums, making the slightest flame of intrigue and curiosity spark in his chest.

The once cleared crystal ball now turns cloudy, some kind of mist begins to pollute the inside of it. Sirius brows furrow, completely taken aback by the effect happening. He certainly didn’t expect James’ mispronunciation of the latin spell to work, yet here they are.

“What do you see?” James asked.

“Nothing yet,” He answers “Just some ugly grey fog.”

“Look harder!”

“I’m trying!”

And as if on cue, Sirius begins to see some sort of vision. He wasn’t even sure if it was truly happening or was his brain just playing tricks with him, but either way the grey mist now turns into shapes, slowly forming what seems to be a ceremonial venue. There were chairs lining up in front of him with flowers decorating them. He was wearing a suit, the most elegant suit he’s ever worn and there have been plenty of dress robes he’s worn in his life yet nothing compares to the grandeur of the one he’s wearing at the moment. He looks to his side, noticing the mists that now become James, Remus, Peter, and Regulus standing a couple metres away from him.

His gaze now averted to where the rose petaled aisle ends. A woman was standing with her bouquet of flowers in her hand. Her beautiful silk dress sweeps the floor as she takes the first steps closer to him. Her face was still blurred, as if the mist was still trying to craft the person’s face. A small smile now tugs on the corner of Sirius’ lips, feeling proud and content of the setting he’s in. Whoever this person is, it pleases Sirius to know that the crystal ball predicted a pleasant romance in his future.

The vision felt real now as Sirius’ heart began to palpitate, feeling the warmth of her gloved hands as it reached for his. His smile grows wider, cheeks warm from the fulfilment. It no longer feels like he was watching a prophecy, no, it feels more like he was in the scene, slowly occupying the body that is now reciting the vows the priest was saying. The feeling only gets more intense as he finally shares the kiss with his bride. He swears he could feel her soft lips on his, the hint of cherry from her lip gloss and her warm heavy breathing on his skin. It feels too real to be just a forecast.

After what seems to be the shortest forever, they finally pull away. She was smiling, her warm eyes gazing back at him with love and admiration. Her features were soft, much more beautiful than how he always thought now that he no longer had to deny the beauty of his wife. She giggles, calling his name

“Sirius!” James silently yelled, nudging his best friend with an annoyed expression “You completely ignored me for the last five minutes!”

Sirius blinks, trying to comprehend his reality.

“You were gone,” His best friend continued “What happened? What did you see?”

The raven haired boy cleared his throat, “Nothing. I– Uh– I saw nothing.”

“Bullshit, you definitely saw something.” James scoffs “Your cheeks are red!”

“I didn’t see anything, alright!” Sirius defends with more persistence “Must be because of your shitty pronunciation or something, I don’t know!”

James frowns, muttering his confusion on how his spell fails when it wasn’t the most tongue-twisting one he’s done before. Sure he wasn’t the most brilliant out of them four with charms, but he was still better than most and nailing a spell in the first trial wasn’t a new thing for James. He wanted to argue more about the hunch he has that Sirius was lying but the boy looks like he’s seen a ghost. Perhaps the spell did work and the vision Sirius had was just something he’s not ready to talk about. Whatever it is, James has made it his mission to find out, be it today or tomorrow.

—-

The next couple of days the strange behaviour Sirius tries his best to hide is becoming more and more visible. He would skip his meals and turn the other way when she was around. Even when she was busy with her group of friends and completely unaware of his presence, Sirius would still avoid her like the plague. He would exchange seats in classes he shares with her, occupying the furthest spot from her and blocking his view physically from her.

And such action didn’t go unnoticed for too long.

“Have you been sick or did the dementors kidnap you, Black?” She mused, taking a seat opposite of him and next to Remus “I haven’t seen you lately.”

Sirius gulps, completely frozen in his seat.

“Morning, Love.” Remus greets her “He’s been avoiding everyone, don’t take it personally.”

“Has he? Here I thought I was a special someone to be receiving such treatment.”

“He’s been acting strange since divination class,” James says as he swallowed the bits of food in his mouth “We were fooling around and tried to read his future through the crystal ball and– Oof! What was that for?”

James yelped at the sudden nudge to his rib. Sirius glares at him, sending him a death threat.

“Really? I thought you said Divination is rubbish, Sirius.” She teased, her playful smile decorating her face “What did you see? Anything interesting?”

Sirius lowers his gaze to his plate of food, not daring to spend another second staring at her face. His skin feels warm, like the temperature somehow raised a couple degrees and he’s the only one boiled.

The lack of response from him somehow twisted a knife she didn’t know was stabbing her heart. It was evident that he was avoiding her, for whatever reason he might have. His silent treatment now only proves the effort he’s made to keep his distance that she so hard convinced herself was nothing more than a mere illusion. Sirius, as loud and apparent as his claims of vexation for her all these years, still holds a soft spot and that their love-hate relationship was nothing more than a silly game of pretend. Perhaps she was wrong all along.

“Well, I’ve got to go,” She fakes a chirpy persona, taking his mute to be her cue to leave “I’ll see you gentlemen around.”

As if a splinter’s been taken off of his toe, Sirius lets out a relieved sigh once she leaves their table. The audible huff made his friends raise their brows high, completely lost at the charade he’s playing. The two would always bicker, picking fights and arguments over the slightest most trivial matters that more often than not the boys would wish that they could hex the two with some stunning spell. Yet for the first time in their lives, they’re left wondering why Sirius would zip his mouth shut in her presence.

“What?” Sirius asks, noticing the questioning eyes glued on him.

“Do you really expect us to look past the fact that you didn’t spare her a word for the first time in your life?” Peter asks, fully suspicious of his friend’s antics “Are you ill, Padfoot?”

James whines, “Come on, mate, tell us what you saw on that crystal ball.”

“I saw nothing, Prongs.” Sirius says with a more stern tone “And I’m not ill, Wormy.”

“Well you’re certainly not straight in the head.”

“Oh yeah, Moony? And what makes you say that?”

Remus shrugs, “You’ve been acting strange for days and now that she’s here you’re completely ignoring her. Did she break your heart or something?”

“No, no she didn’t.” Sirius fidgets, tapping on his cheek as he looks at Remus accusingly “Say, when you call her ‘Love’, do you just– You know, casually call girls that or do you mean it like.. I don’t know.. Like my Love kind of thing?”

Remus turned to James with a baffled expression while Peter now had his jaw hang low. The three boys are now whisked deeper into the maze, trying to decipher Sirius’ true intention. He was never as cryptic and never held secrets from the boys before, always been the most open and true to others yet he’s acting like a completely different person now.

“Oh Merlin, is that what you see?” James asks with a shocked tone “Moony and her? Did you see them snog each other?”

“What? No!”

“That wouldn’t make sense, Prongs. If Moony was snogging her then it should be Moony who’s seeing the prophecy, not Padfoot.” Peter comments, slowly understanding the riddle as the smirk grows on his face “Did you see your future with her, Pads?”

Sirius cheeks heat up, shaking his head vigorously, “No.”

“You totally did, you tosser!” Remus points out with a victorious smile “You actually saw a future with her, didn’t you?!”

Sirius buries his face to his palm, trying to cover his now crimson face.

“You are so pathetic, Pads.” James laughed, completely entertained by the sight in front of him “All these years expressing your disdain for her only to have the universe pairing you two all along.”

“I don’t know Prongs, he’s always been in love with her for me.” Remus pours more salt “He’s just too embarrassed to admit it.”

Peter chuckles, circling his arm around Sirius’ shoulder to make him come out of his shell, “So what exactly did you see, Padfoot?”

—-

Coming clean to the boys only made Sirius more conscious. They have been acting as persisting bees in his head, lecturing him non stop and urging him to let go of the cat and mouse game and just come forward with his feelings. Crystal gazing is one of the most conceivable forms of divination, as Remus notes, yet the chance of the prophecy being false was never zero. No kind of divination is 100% false proof and Sirius still couldn’t tell if the vision he saw was a true prediction of his future or was it just a manifestation of his deep desire for her.

And if all this hype was caused by the latter, Sirius wouldn’t know how to survive from the heartbreak.

So now he finds himself walking to the other side of the castle, taking small steps as he climbs the stairs to the Divination class. He has to see the prophecy once more, make sure that the spell James uttered that day was right and that the crystal ball was truly predicting his future with her. He needs to know that his head wasn’t playing tricks with him just because he’s been turning deaf to what his heart has been yearning for all these years.

Coming inside the class, Sirius' pace was put to halt when he spotted her, sitting on her usual table as she gazed into the crystal ball. She looks up to him, probably hearing the sound of the creaking wooden floor when he enters and flashes him a smile, looking surprised to see him yet appreciative at the same time.

“Sirius,” She calls with a pleasant tone “What a surprise.”

He gulps, “I– Uh, I think I left my textbook here.”

“Did you? I think the Professor stacks the left textbooks on that corner, perhaps you’ll find yours there.” She points at a cupboard, seemingly buying the lie Sirius came up with.

“What are you doing here?”

“Crystal gazing.” She answers “Would you like to join?”

Sirius hesitated but found himself sitting next to her, heart pounding loud inside his chest from the close space. Sure it wasn’t the first time they sat next to each other, but it certainly is the first time they’re together with no other soul present. This is the first time they act civil, if not friendly, to each other. This is the first time, after seeing their wedding prophecy, they’re at each other’s company.

“Should we see yours or my prophecy?”

“Yours.” Sirius answers.

“You’d like to see mine?”

“Can we do that?” He asks, completely oblivious of the topic “When I tried it with James he couldn’t see my prophecy.”

“Well, I am not James, am I?”

Sirius smiles.

“Put your hand just above the ball.. Yeah, just like that,” She instructed him, utterly unaware of the nervous havoc Sirius was feeling when she touched his hand and positioned it above the ball “Are you ready?”

He nods.

She begins to cast the spell, something similar to the one James uttered but this one was lengthier. Like she knew a different, more advanced, spell to use for their fortune telling ritual. Sirius' eyes now travels from her to the crystal ball, trying to see what her prophecy would be.

The clear ball slowly turns misty, just like when he did the gazing with James. He could see the Great Hall forming, with its long tables now exchanged with seats filled with who seemed to be graduating students. He could see her, sitting among these students with her eyes glued to the podium where he was shaking Dumbledore’s hand. He could see himself, jogging back to the empty seat next to her with a big bright smile, pulling her close to his embrace once he reached her and sealing her lips with his.

The vision was short. Much shorter than the one he saw with James but the intensity was just the same. He could practically feel her lips on his, the pressure of her body as he pulled her close, and the sweet scent of her perfume that he has just now learned much lighter than a fine spring breeze. It was too real to ever just be a vision.

He looks up to her, noticing her lack of expression, “You don’t look disgusted.”

“Why would I be disgusted?”

“I kissed you,” Sirius says with an unsure tone “You saw that too, didn’t you? Or was that just me?”

She narrows her eyes, “What are you talking about?”

Sirius turns pale, gulping at the fact that he just blurted out what he saw.

He opens his mouth, only to close it again in the lack of words. His brain stopped functioning at the very time he needed to explain something to her. His blood turns cold, scared to death that he’s making it awkward between them but before he could actually pass out, she lets out a heartfelt laughter.

“Merlin, you’re so pale right now!” She says between her laughter “I’m only joking, Black. I know.”

He raised an eyebrow, “You know?”

“Yeah, I know.” She affirms with a nod, resting her hand under her chin as she watches him intently “This isn’t the first prophecy I have that involves you in it.”

“It wasn’t?”

“Nope. I had one too many about you, if I’m being honest.”

“Did you?”

“Yes,” She answers with a smile “Are you going to continue with your two worded question? I mean it’s cute, but certainly out of character from the typical Sirius Black.”

Sirius’ cheeks turn red, turning silent this time.

The glee from her face waters down fast, noticing the silence she’s caused between them. If he didn’t know better, Sirius would’ve sworn that he saw a glimmer of disappointment and heartbreak in her eyes, but why would she feel such feelings, right?

“I– Uh– I just remembered I have this thing to do,” She says abruptly as she she stood from her seat, evidently trying to flee from the situation and packing her belongings “I hope you’ll find your textbook, Sirius.”

And with that, she left.

—-

To say that he feels horrible from how their encounter ended would be an understatement. Something about her departure feels off, like he just did a grave mistake he wasn’t sure what about. The way her smile dilutes and the dimmed glint of spark in her eyes as she left haunts him.

He tries to recall the last moments before disaster strikes. He couldn’t look past the strangeness of how she called him cute one moment and bolted out the door the next. What went wrong?

“Someone’s pinching your bird,” James coos.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, “Meaning?”

“We just saw Lucius asking your girl for a Hogsmeade date.” Remus adds, taking a seat next to him “She didn’t say yes, though. Wait, did she or did she not? I’m not sure, we left before she could give an answer but I’m betting she said no.”

“I bet 5 galleons she said yes.”

“Wormtail!” Sirius says with a pure betrayed expression “I thought you were on my side!”

“I was, but you’re slacking mate.” Peter reasoned with a shrug “Whatever issue you think you have with her is certainly more important to you than the prophecy you’ve seen before your own eyes. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“I’m with Wormy,” James nods “I bet she says yes to ugly snobby Lucius.”

Sirius lets out a gasp, completely surprised at his friends’ betrayal.

“You know what, maybe you’re right. Maybe she said yes.”

“Moony!”

Remus shrugs.

“She said no.” Sirius says with confidence, firmly “She said no, you wanna know why? Because she too saw her prophecies with me. Yeah, prophecies, meaning multiple times. Loads of times. She saw her future with me so she would not say yes to Lucius’ invite.”

The boys look at each other, confused and surprised at the new information dropped.

“I don’t know mate, it seems like she said yes.”

Sirius turns his sight to the direction James was pointing at. There they were, her and Lucius entering the Great Hall with what seems to be the most intriguing conversation ever. She was smiling, her cheeks red from all the laughter. Her eyes were glued on Lucius, as if no one else were present in the room, as if Sirius wasn’t in the room.

Jealousy was never in his dictionary but for the first time in his life, Sirius has never ever wanted to pluck someone and hex them to disintegrate until now. Exactly what can a guy as arrogant and grim as Lucius say to make her laugh like that? No one should deserve to see her bright smile and hear her melodious laughter. No one but him.

“Better work your way soon, Padfoot.” Remus comments “Or else your vision would turn into nothing more than a mere fantasy.”

—-

“Wait, wait!” Sirius shouts as he runs, trying to catch her before she vanishes again “Wait!”

She turns, looking surprised to see the boy with sweat laced skin coming to her. His hair was dishevelled, not that Sirius ever combed it neatly, but much more messy than the usual. He looks as if he’s run through every corner of the castle, trying to find her.

And in reality, he did.

“Black,” She calls, hands folding in front of her chest “Can I help you?”

“Yes,” He nods, catching his breath “Tell me you did not say yes to Lucius’ invite.”

She blinks, looking completely appalled at his request.

“My friends told me Lucius asked you for a date. Please tell me you said no to him.”

A frown forms on her face, “Why do you care what I said to him?”

“Well you’re my future, aren’t you? Of course I care about what you said to him.” Sirius reasoned “Now will you please release me from this torment and just say that you said no to him.”

She stares at him as if he’s grown an extra head. Sirius could feel his feet cold, shrinking down under her gaze. There’s nothing he wished he could do more than to read her mind right now. Something went wrong that day, Sirius knows it he can feel it, he just doesn’t know what it is and he fears that it would only be the gasoline to the supposedly budding romance between her and others.

“I don’t get you, Sirius.” She begins with a disappointed tone “First you act like you didn’t want me to be your future and yet now that someone asks me to be their date, you suddenly want me? How is that fair?”

“Wait, what?” He asked, appalled “When did I ever say I don’t want you to be my future?”

“You’ve been ignoring me ever since you saw that prophecy with James, whatever it may be about, and you went silent when I told you that I know about our prophecies.” She reasoned, her nostrils flaring from the vexation she could finally burst in “It's pretty clear to me that you don’t want me to be in your future.”

“You– You think I was avoiding you because I didn’t want you to be my future?”

“I don’t know, do you have any better explanation than that?”

“Yes,” He answers, only to shake his head the next minute “I mean, no, but–”

Sirius runs his hand through his hair, looking visibly frustrated at the misunderstanding they somehow got entangled in. He looks at her, who's still waiting for his explanation, and flashes her a sad smile. He was never good with words, not at crucial moments like this, but he knew that if he didn’t try tonight, he might as well say goodbye to the prophecies that have turned into the dreams he’s seeing every night in his sleep now.

“Do you even remember when we started to be so hostile to each other?” He asks gently.

She shakes her head, unsure on where the conversation is being directed to.

“I don’t either but I’ve always known why I could never be friendly with you.”

She gulps, asking with a voice barely above a whisper, “Why?”

“Because I don’t believe that someone as perfect as you exists in this world. I just can’t.” He confessed, a shameful smile shown on his face “I just couldn’t believe that someone as smart, as lovely, and as beautiful as you is real and I don’t think anyone is deserving of that. Even for someone as narcissistic as I am.”

“As you are?”

“Especially as I am.” He repeats “And I thought, if I couldn’t love you I should just hate you. Maybe that would water down the affection I have for you over the years and I have been doing just fine with denying my feelings for you until James stupidly made me gaze into that stupid crystal and I saw it. I saw us.”

Her facial expression softens, yielding to the sweet words he’s uttering, “What did you see?”

“I saw you walking down the aisle.”

She smiles.

“And I was there.” He continues “As the groom, if that wasn’t clear in the first place.”

A laughter broke from her lips, easing Sirius’ mind that he could finally diffuse the tension.

“You were beautiful in white.” He adds, eyes full of love and affection “And I can’t wait to finally be on that day so please, for the sake of my pathetic tottering heart, please tell me that you said no to Lucius.”

She begins to sniffle as the beads of tears that were decorating her tears started to fall. Her eyes were still glued on him, watching him as if he was the one thing she ever asked the universe to give and have finally been granted of it. Her shoulders were relaxed yet no matter how beautiful the sight he’s seeing right now, Sirius still couldn’t find peace until she gave him her assurance.

“Please tell me those are happy tears and not because you said yes to Lucius.”

“Oh, bloody hell, can we please stop talking about him? You’re ruining our moment!”

“Well I can’t really enjoy our moment with the possibility of you going on a date with someone else still hanging now, can I?!”

“Are we seriously arguing right now?”

“I don’t want to but it just feels so natural to argue with you.” Sirius huffs “So did you or did you not agree to his date, woman?”

“I did not.” She finally says, mirroring his exasperated expression “Happy now?”

“Very.”

“Doesn’t seem like it.”

“You are very annoying, do you know that?” Sirius asks, his brows still furrow in irritation.

“No, not really. Must have slipped off my mind, just like every other million times you utter it.” She says with her hands now resting on her hips “Is that all?”

Sirius raised an eyebrow, “How do you mean?”

“Well did you look for me just to ask if I said yes to Lucius? Or do you have something else you wanted to do with me other than confessing your, as you claim, pathetic tottering heart?”

Sirius opens his mouth, taking full offence at her mocking of his confession, but her question birthed a new urge in his heart. He’s confessed to her and she has accepted it, so it seems, would it be proper for him now to ask for a kiss? Would it be a proper time for him to ask for them to seal their future romantic endeavours?

His cheeks begin to turn rosy at the thought of finally kissing her. The emotions from the prophecies start to fill his chest, now feeling much less satisfying than how they used to. With her standing in front of him now and giving him the same heart eyes, the image of them kissing now could barely mean a thing as the possibility that such a pleasant gesture could happen any time soon. And he prays to whoever deity up there that it would happen sooner than later.

“So? Do you really just want to confess?” She asks, giving him hints now that she too wanted the delightful image to come to reality “Oh, for Merlin’s sake, Sirius, don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet now.”

“You just never know when to shut up, do you?”

With that, Sirius takes his bold steps to her, finally sealing their lips together. He could feel his soul bursting in flames, melting into one with her. He never knew that he was so deprived of such fortune until he finally tastes her, until he finally feels his body pressed into his, until he finally has her.

“Do you still think Divination’s rubbish now?”

“Still rubbish,” He answers between their kisses “Sweet rubbish.”

#sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius black imagines #sirius black scenario #sirius black scenarios #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fanfic #sirius black oneshot #sirius black fluff #sirius black angst #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x oc

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thewulf · 10 months

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My Favorite Girl || Sirius Black

Summary: Sirius Black(if you don't mind) or Aaron Hotchner with a new girl that has a cochlear implant. At some point it could be damaged and they learned sign to surprise her!

A/N:I didn’t specify which sign language since all I know is ASL (American Sign Language) and after some reading I’ve learned that BSL (British Sign Language) is completely different! Almost as if they were two different languages which is fascinating. So, I didn’t want to butcher that! Also, we’re selectively ignoring the ‘muggle devices don’t work at Hogwarts’ rule, this does. Hope you enjoy. Very fluffy and extra sweet. As always, thank you for the requests!

Pairing: Sirius Black x Y/N

Word Count: 4.5k +

“What’s got you so nervous love?” Your mum wrapped her arms around your sunken shoulders. She’d spotted you sitting down at the edge of your bed just staring at the wardrobe looking rather glum. It wasn’t like you at all. You were the happy go lucky twelve-year-old that just got her letter to go to Hogwarts only a month ago. Your parents had known. A wizard came to explain that you were born a witch and what it all entailed. How the magical world existed and how you were now a part of it.

It was great and all until you the night before you were leaving for Kings Cross Station, to the Hogwarts Express for the first time. A witch came to collect you and your mom taking you to Diagon Alley. She was a representative from Hogwarts that helped guide first year muggle born students through the transition between the muggle world and the wizarding one. You understood when she handed you the list of things you needed. Half the supply list looked foreign, the books especially. What was transfiguration? Did potions really mean making potions? It was all too much all at once for you.

You knew you’d be going in far behind. There were other first years who grew up with magic like it was nothing. They were used to it, there was no novelty to it anymore. Not only did you have to overcome that, but you also had to overcome being the weirdo with a hearing impairment. The wizard that came when you were a baby even offered a healer to come take a look. The healer tried but said there wasn’t much that could be done. Magic can only go so far.

You’d grown up nearly deaf until you were able to get scheduled for surgery. You and your family had learned sign language to compensate until you got your cochlear implant surgically installed. After that you’d learned how to communicate through speech once you could finally hear. It was like learning an entirely new world. You loved it. How magical it really was to hear.

“Hello!” An overly excited black-haired boy smiled and waved as you sat across from him after getting sorted into Gryffindor. You weren’t sure if that was the best house, but it seemed like a decent one from the rumblings you’d heard on the train, “I’m Sirius. Sirius Black.” The long-haired boy named Sirius stuck his hand out for you to shake. How proper you noted.

You shook his hand gently while introducing yourself, “Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N.” You spoke quietly, unsure of the entire situation. How was it that yesterday you were sitting on the couch with your mum and dad in the muggle world and now tonight you were here? It was blowing your already overstimulated mind.

“It’s nice to meet you Y/N. How brilliant is this all?” He gestured to the magnificence of the ceiling of the Great Hall decked out in candles not even noticing your implant. It was impossible to see already due to the small size of it, especially when your hair was down like it currently was. Maybe you really didn’t have much to worry about. Maybe you could just be a normal first year like the rest of them.

You nodded excitedly suddenly so much less afraid, “It’s wonderful. I’ve never seen anything quite like it.” Your eyes scanned above you at the hundreds of candles that flickered above everyone, “Won’t the wax melt on us though?”

His eyes studied you as you fully took in its magnificence. He laughed at your innocent question, “Muggle born? They’re enchanted, it won’t drip on us.” He asked with genuine curiosity. Sirius had quite literally never met a muggle born witch. His parents forbade it. And they reigned supreme in every aspect of his miserable pure blood life.

You nodded suddenly a little afraid after heading the warnings from the witch who took you Diagon Alley. She told you there was a pecking order. Pure bloods were the cream of the crop. Half-bloods got some respect. And muggle borns were… less than desirable to the elite pure bloods. It also didn’t help that there wasn’t that many of you to begin with. It was far more likely for a witch or wizard to come from a wizarding family. You were already the small minority. The anomaly with a defect. How fun. Poor little British girl.

“Yes, I’m a muggle born.”

He grinned ear to ear, “Well, I’m going to show you everything I know. It may not be much but it’s something.”

“Really?” You leaned closer to him. He felt warm. He radiated warmth. His smile drew you right in. Sirius Black. You had a feeling you wouldn’t be forgetting that name for a long while. If not ever.

He nodded his head quickly, “Absolutely. You’ve got my word Y/N.” He wanted nothing more than to make friends. To fit in. Because he knew he was in for it the next time he saw his parents. He wasn’t too thrilled for the letter he was bound to receive in the next few days. An utter disappointment he was sure. He was a pure blood. He should’ve been in Slytherin. But that damn sorting hat had other plans.

Before you could respond a brown-haired boy with crooked glasses slid onto the bench next to Sirius, “Hi! I’m James!” He gleefully smiled taking in the other first years around him.

The rest was history. You fell into quick friendship with the girls of year one after the first few nights in the dormitories. Particularly Lily and Marlene. The three of you formed a trio quickly. It quickly felt like a big sleepover every night.

You’d also fallen into fast friendship with boys in your year too. Lily couldn’t stand them after James had taken a particular liking to her and never seemed to stop pestering her. Dorcas and Marlene thought boys were beneath them and never have them a chance leaving just you to form the friendship. If you weren’t with the girls you were with the boys. You couldn’t believe how nervous you were before getting to Hogwarts. Everything felt so easy and far too much fun for it be school. How lucky you felt.

“What’s that?” Sirius poked the top of your ear. Ah, it was about time one of them spotted the device on your ears. It’s been nearly two months into your first school year before he noticed. You’d gotten lazy and pulled your hair into a bun.

You found a rhythm with everybody. You’d grown close to Lily quickly, other than the boys that was of course. The girls knew about it within the first night. It wasn’t very easy to hide the device when you had to take it off and make sure it was charged. They were incredible with it all. They even learned basic signs so that they could talk with you if they needed to once you took them off. They made it easy, and you truly couldn’t be more grateful.

“It helps me hear.” You set down the quill that you were using to write your essay with. Potions, you had to write a damn essay on the history of some potions master. How dreadful. Slughorn claimed it’d give you all a newfound respect for the great art of potions making.

Sirius sat down across from you at the library table. Normally, he’d never be caught dead here. But he knew it was a Tuesday at six o’clock and you always did homework at the library then. He’d figured it out after a few months of getting to know you. Figuring out your structured routine quickly.

He genuinely liked you. You were far too sweet for the horrors of the wizarding world and the wretched pure bloods Slytherin. He’d tried his best to shield you from it. You didn’t deserve the snide looks and comments you’d received. Hell, no muggle born deserved it. But he could still see the saddened expression on your face when a Slytherin boy would yell ‘filthy mud blood’ across the square right at you. He saw the hurt that crossed your features before you bravely put up a wall trying to ignore it. If there was one thing he knew within the first few months of knowing you was that he’s never felt so protective over anybody. Not even his own brother. It’s like he was bound to meet you. Bound to shield you from the hatred you didn’t deserve.

“You’re hard of hearing?” He didn’t realize how goofy he sounded using such mature language as a twelve-year-old until he saw your goofy expression making fun of him. You were cock eyed and wondering why in the hell he sounded like your grandpa. You’d both laughed quietly not wanting to get kicked out by the ornery old librarian.

You nodded slowly, “Always have been. Birth defect not even magic can fix.” You sighed wishing that you’d have been the exception. But no. Your ears were too damn deformed to get to work right. Magic couldn’t create a new cochlea. It could only attempt to fix what was there. So, it was muggle medicine you needed. It was muggle medicine you got.

He got up from his seat quickly plopping down in one next to you. He leaned over inspecting the apparatus that fit right to your ear, “It’s muggle?” He asked curious about the whole thing. Why hadn’t you told him? Had he not made you feel like a friend? Were you embarrassed?

You nodded careful not to hit him as you turned your head back away from his view, “Yeah. It’s called a cochlear implant. Uses vibrations or something to help me hear.”

He nodded moving away from your ear. Giving you your personal space back, “Makes you look cool.” Sirius nudged your shoulder seeing your unease surrounding the conversation. If there was one thing he was a pro at it was picking up emotion. Coming from such an emotionless family he had to know how to read anything. Pick up on anything. It was his only survival mechanism he learned in such a soulless upbringing. He noticed how you stiffened up when he asked about it. How you got seemingly uncomfortable within an instant like he’d just found out your deepest darkest secret.

You laughed softly, “Hardly, I’d say.”

He shook his head, “Trust me. It’s wicked. Makes you look part robot.”

You shook your head with a bright smile across it. You didn’t know what he was doing but you sure did enjoy it, “Is that really a good thing?”

He nodded, “I say so. And that’s really all that matters.” Giving you that signature Sirius grin you looked at him curiously. He was so different than any of the other twelve-year-old boys his age. It made you wonder about him. Wonder what his story was.

“Sure Sirius. That’s all that matters.” You shook your head as laughter bubbled out of you. He always got you smiling and laughing. A pro at turning any situation right around.

“Hey, you said it.” He tossed you a wink before ruffling your hair and running off. As quickly as you’d grown in your friendship with Lily your friendship was exploding with Sirius. The two of you were tied at the hip.

Your first year ended with you not wanting to get off the train at Kings Cross. You gave each of the boys and girls the biggest hugs before finding your parents. Promising to write them throughout the summer. You made sure to give Sirius the longest hug of them all. He was your comfort. The one you ran to when you needed help. A bond had formed your first year with the boy. A bond that you’d hoped could never be broken.

Fourth year was brutal. The Slytherins went all in on the bullying. Especially his cousins. You were now the filthy deaf mud blood freak. They targeted your implant because of course they did. They were bullies. Mean, evil people that picked on you because it bothered Sirius deeply. You seemed to be the things that got him worked up the most. Unlucky for you that you became their prime target of harassment. Lucky for you that Sirius was now essentially your bodyguard.

It bothered him so much he launched a full-on assault on the Slytherin common room and dormitories. The marauders, as they now called themselves, left you out of this one knowing you would tell them it was a step too far. Even Remus didn’t think it was too far. Not after the nasty insults he’d heard thrown at you earlier in the day. They’d seen you like a sister now. That protective nature was spread across all the boys. When you were hurt, they were hurt. And they weren’t the kind to stand by. Not these boys.

So, they snuck in using Polyjuice Potion, rigged the place with exploding dye and waited. They sat outside the hallway grinning ear to ear when they saw the entire dormitory explode out the dungeon door. Each person coated in hundreds of different colors. Unfortunately for them the dye wouldn’t wash off for a week. Not that the marauders cared. Not after they hurt you. Remus only felt a twinge of guilt for the Slytherin’s who didn’t partake as they were just casualties of the bigger picture.

You eyed the marauders the next morning after seeing almost all of the Slytherins coated in dye. Sirius only tossed you a wink before turning back to James. That was all the confirmation you needed. Even if you didn’t necessarily approve of the prank you knew you were loved by them. Those boys loved you dearly and you loved them just as much. It was moments like those that made you feel more than lucky with the friends you’d found here. You’d never cease to count your blessings.

Seventh year didn’t start out too wonderful for you. You’d woken up in the middle of the night having to use the restroom. Without much thought you’d taken the implant and placed it on your ear. You knew better than to take it off the charger when it wasn’t fully charged. The damn thing malfunctioned when it didn’t get its way. Muggle medicine wasn’t the most reliable at times.

What you didn’t expect was for the thing to completely break. A loud noise pieced your ear before you heard nothing at all. Shit. One side seemed to be working but the other was dead silent.

You turned on the running water only to hear muffled silence. Fuck. This couldn’t be happening right now. You walked down to the common room to take a better look at the device without waking any of the girls up. You sighed when you read the clock on the wall, five in the morning. This is just what you wanted to be dealing with at this hour.

You broke down into a soft cry feeling overwhelmed by the situation. Why now? Why after years of never having a problem with the usually amazing device did it decide it wanted to malfunction. You let a few tears fall before patting you face dry. You needed to focus. How could you fix the transmitter? You pulled it off the top of your ear along with the processor and microphone to make sure everything was working right. The only problem was it looked like everything was working right. All the usual lights were on. You felt the inevitable headache coming on strong from the sudden imbalance in hearing.

Panic began to bubble in your chest. Was something wrong with the device that was implanted in your ear? More tears fell as you let the anxiety of the situation consume you. You still had your other ear that seemed to be working fine. But nothing sounded right. Everything was muffled.

“Hey,” You felt a cold hand clamp down on your shoulder sending you nearly flying off the common room couch.

“Jesus Sirius.” You gasped unsure of how you actually sounded. Everything was muffled and hard to hear. It’s like you could hear but you couldn’t decipher without the other ear working. You saw his lips moving but you could vaguely make out what he saying to you. Trying to read lips was difficult with such low light coming from the always glowing lanterns that were scattered about the common room.

Even more panic began to rise as you realized you really couldn’t hear that well without the device working. Shit. You’d have to go home and have a muggle doctor look at it. You doubt any magic would work on a vibrational contraption.

Sirius saw your red laced eyes and the recent tear streaks that went down your saddened face. His expression downturned at the sight. He’d always loved you. But it wasn’t until recently that he realized he was devastatingly in love with you too. For the last seven years you’d been at his side, like James, through thick and thin. Even though you weren’t an official Marauder he’d considered you one. He made sure the guys included you in on everything. Even if it pissed James off. Sirius didn’t care. He simply adored you.

You didn’t give a damn about his name, Black. You’d started Hogwarts too naïve to know how scandalous it was that he was sorted into Gryffindor with the group of first years. It wasn’t until Remus gave you the run down about the sacred eight families that you realized how shocking the entire thing was. It didn’t deter you though. You’d treated him all the same. And he loved it. You kept him grounded. Even through the myriad of women he went through, you always were there for him. You always would be. Even if you couldn’t have him as a boyfriend you decided a long time ago you’d always be his best friend. No matter how hard it could get. And it got hard. Specifically, when all you wanted was for him to hold you in his arms, but he was hung up on another girl. That was heartbreaking.

You pointed to you ear and then the pieces you were holding in your hand. You mouthed, ‘I can’t hear you.’ You didn’t want to speak. It didn’t sound right. You couldn’t tell if you were whispering or yelling. The loss of hearing disrupted your reality significantly.

He turned his head unable to read your lips. He grinned ear to ear knowing he could try and communicate with you through sign language. Ever since you’d shown him the cochlear implant your first year he’d slowly learned. He was determined to learn sign language. Especially since you told him it was your first language. The one you were most comfortable in. You never needed to use it though, so he’d kept it in his back pocket.

Before he could respond though you’d already written on the back of an old flyer sitting on the coffee table reading, ‘It broke. I can’t hear.’ You pointed to the pieces of the device in your hand.

He nodded walking over to you slowly. It was now or never. He went for it. He signed, “Can I look?” He was probably going to sound like a child communicating knowing he never actually practiced with anyone. He never told a soul. Not Peter, Remus, or James. It was his little secret. Something he wanted to keep to himself. Between the two of you. Something special the two of you could share.

You nodded just in sheer shock from witnessing him communicating through his hands. You handed him the pieces, not that he had a bloody clue what he was looking at before looking up to you.

You were wearing a small smile. The pools of tears that were there moments ago had seemed to vanish in an instant, “When did you learn?” You asked back hoping he’d be able to read as well as he was able to speak it.

Should he tell you? He knew if he did that he’d be crossing the line. That friendship line that he’d been teetering with you for the last school year. It wasn’t his fault he was so blind before. But he felt too late. Like you’d both go off and do your own thing and never see one another again. You only had seventh year left. That was it and then you were off. It didn’t seem possible to him. He didn’t want to hurt you. That was the last thing he wanted to do.

That’s how he knew he loved you deeply. He’d rather not pursue you in the chance that it could hurt you. He was usually the selfish one. This was perhaps the least selfish thing he’d ever done. And it hurt him, his lack of action. He was always the doer. He never waited. He got what he wanted. But you? You were worth the wait. Even if he had to wait another twenty years. He’d do it. He loved you. Loved you so hard.

But on the other hand, what if he was hurting you by not telling you? What if he just needed to make it your decision? He was tired of playing it coy and distracting himself with meaningless dates and disappointing one-night stands. He let his hands move without thinking much more, “First Year.”

Your mouth dropped just slightly as you registered his words, “Really?” You asked after a moment of consideration.

He nodded his head minutely at the state of shock on your face. Shock turned to gratitude. Gratitude turned to more tears rolling down your face. Happy tears. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back for you.

It was hard just being his best friend. Even though you’d decided so long ago you’d always be there. It was so difficult always hearing him go on and on about damn near every girl within a grade of the group. You’d have to sit there and listen about how he’d impress them to get them into bed. It hurt but you’d learned to ignore it. It was Sirius. That was all. He was your friend and nothing more. You could wish and pray and hope all you’d liked but it never seemed like it could happen.

But this? This was beyond your wildest imagination. He’d went out of his way to learn sign language… for you? You knew it wasn’t easy. You spent countless nights crying when you were growing up because you couldn’t understand it. But he’d learned it. Just for you. Only you. That was love.

The tears that spilled now weren’t of the frustrated kind from earlier but of that overwhelming sense of love. Of such a divine happiness you didn’t think you’d ever receive. But here you were eyeing Sirius with all the love in your heart. He’d learned a damn language for you.

He walked over quickly brushing the tears away from your face. Taking a step back he signed, “What’s wrong?” Before engulfing you in the warmest hug you’d probably ever received outside your mum. You’d completely melted into him feeling his all-encompassing warmth. And for a moment you’d forgotten about the broken implant. You just felt so euphoric.

You shook your head wiping away the last bout of happy tears, “Nothing. Thank you.” You signed back at him. You wanted that hug again. That warmth. You wanted him.

“You’re my best friend. My favorite girl.” He didn’t really know how to go further but you nodded in understanding. You’d realized he’d do just about anything for you. Best friend. God how you wished it could be boyfriend though.

This time you’d pulled him back into that hug. Giving him a big squeeze. You were surely going to go over the deep end if he didn’t reel you back in quickly. It wasn’t often that you’d let your emotions get the best of you. But when you felt and heard that painful noise and then nothing it sent you into a spiral of emotion.

After you let him go he rubbed your shoulder gently, “Let’s go talk to…” he trailed off not sure how to continue. He mouthed ‘McGonagall’ hoping you’d get what he was talking about. You nodded in quick agreement. If there was anybody who would know what the hell to do it was her.

“Thank you.” You signed once more before the two of you went to go wake the older witch.

His smile could really change the trajectory of any day. You savored that beautiful grin that rarely came out so fully. Instead of responding he simply wrapped you back into him for the third time in as many minutes.

This time he held you for so much longer though. Held you tightly in his arms almost afraid to let you go. He felt so fucking dumb for not realizing what he had right in front of him. How incredible you were to him throughout the years. How you were his person. James was his best friend for forever. You were his person though. You were it.

He rubbed a gentle hand down your back utilizing the height difference to his advantage. He smiled warmly when he saw the visceral reaction you had from him touching you. You seemed to simply soften into his embrace. He’d certainly make a note of that. He was very much enjoying the position he’d found himself in with you. Holding you tightly to his chest.

He was always so bold but the thought of kissing you seemed to paralyze him. He’d have to take it slow just for his sake. He didn’t want to make a complete fool of himself. Sirius knew that you wouldn’t give a damn if he did though. You’d seen him though it all. Been there with him though everything. Every high you experienced with him and every low you comforted him. He couldn’t say the same was reciprocated and he wanted to slap himself for that. It was a miracle you hadn’t given up on him truly. He’d never fail to count his lucky stars.

After the lengthy embrace he pulled apart. Brushing the straggling hair out of your face he nodded to the Head of Gryffindors chambers at the base of the stairs.

Sirius offered you a hand for comfort still holding onto the small devices ready to explain and translate for you to McGonagall. Happily accepting his offer, you placed your much smaller hand in his. The way he looked at you sent a shiver down your spine. You knew he loved you in that very moment. You knew you were in for a very exciting lifetime with just that look alone. Oh, how you couldn’t bloody wait.

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