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hoaxriot · 2 months

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fix it ; remus lupin

pairing: remus lupin x reader | 0.8k words plot: remus would never hurt you but he's not himself when full moon hits prompt: "fix it." "I can't." authors note: It's short and simple, hope you like it.

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The lights hurt in your eyes, your head felt heavy. Voices rumbled around you, a buzz of something you couldn’t make out, no words formed in your head. You lifted your arm, desperate to shield your eyes from the unbearable light.

“Y/N!” Lily’s sweet voice sounded next to you, your body came back to itself. You felt less out of it by the minute.

“You’re awake, James, get Pomfrey.” Footsteps retreated and Madam Pomfrey was by your side in a minute. Her warm hand touched your forehead, you scrunch your nose in discomfort.

“How are you feeling, darling?” You breathed out and sat up with her help. Suddenly, there was a burning feeling on your face, your hand reaching up to make out what it was. Something had slashed the skin.

“Don’t, you’ll only get it dirty.” Pomfrey said, a cup of medicine in her hand.

You frowned and looked at your friends, their faces showed you enough. Something happened, something to your face, something so bad that they kept looking at you with those pitting looks on their faces.

“I’ll be right back.” Madam Pomfrey excused herself.

The liquid tasted bitter but you downed it with a sour look on your face.

“So, what the fuck is up with my face?” You asked. Sirius shifted his legs in discomfort and James looked away. You turned to your boyfriend, who sat in his chair, slumped.

“Remus, love-” he released his head from his hands and turned to you, his eyes widened as his orbs locked with yours. He bit his lip, an effort to not cry, you knew that much.

Madam Pomfrey returned with an object in her hands. “I’m sorry, dear.” She said before handing you a mirror, your heart plummeted in your chest, a cold feeling washed over you as you raised the mirror to look at yourself.

“Fix it, please.” Remus almost whispered, but the nurse heard him bright and clear. She shook her head with a sorry look on her face.

"I can't."

Remus jumped to his feet, a hand brushed over his tired face. “Please, I beg of you.” His lips released a shaken breath.

“I-I-I..She can’t..Just look at her. Please.” You stared at yourself, in disbelief.

There were three big slashes across your forehead all the way down to your cheek. They stung and they looked deep red but you didn’t mind half as much as Remus did- It was him, it clicked after a few moments and you put the mirror down. That’s why he was so distraught, because he had hurt you while he fought through the full moon last night.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Lupin, there’s nothing I can do about scars. I’m very sorry, Miss Y/LN.”

You just nodded before she took the mirror from your hands and retreated to her desk. Your friends didn’t speak, too ashamed to look you in the eyes.

“It’s not that bad, actually.” You said. Their heads turned to you, eyes wide. “Not so bad?” Remus spoke, his hands in his lap. “Dove, I did-”I know and I knew this could happen when I came with you last night.”

You reached for his hand, he was reluctant to give it to you. His glossy eyes found yours, his thumb stroked your hand as he tried not to break into sobs. “The wolf is not you, Remus.”

He peeked at you, his lips trembled. You took a breath and spoke once again.

“You would never hurt me like this, you’re not the wolf.” His head lowered itself to your intertwined hands before he burst into tears, his body shook with each cry. Your friends had taken that as a sign and excused themselves.

“I’m so sorry-s-s-so sorry, my love..I-I- never wanted, wanted to hurt y-y-you.” He bawled as you scooted closer, your hands embraced him in a hug while he sobbed in your arms.

“I know.” You tried. He took some breaths and calmed down, his shoulders still shook and his eyes were puffy. You reached your hand to his face and wiped his tears. “You crybaby.” You gave him a small smile, which did sting and clasped his hand in yours again.

“I look rather badass now, I'd say.” His eyebrows rushed up and he huffed in displeasure. “You’re all beaten up because of me and you think that’s badass?” You nudged his shoulder and a small chuckle left you.

“I mean, you do, so that makes me badass as well.” He shook his head and gave you a small smile, his teeth not showing. “I'm a badass?” You had to laugh out loud as you nodded your head “So very badass, but you’re rather pretty, no matter the scars or not.” He leaned into your hand and a tear left his eyes. “I love you.”

You connected your lips with his as he rested his forehead against yours. “I love you too, Remus.”

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hoaxriot · 2 months

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Sunday; James Potter 📺

summary: you spend a lazy sunday evening with your boyfriend, James.

word count: 1.5K

warnings: beefy!james, fem!r, established relationship, lots and lots of fluff, mentions of eating

note: BEEFY JAMES 🩷🩷 a second part (or prequel?) to this fic is up now <3

The telly hums gently beside the trickling rain outside, lulling you into a swath of late-afternoon drowsiness. The cooking competition that once effortlessly held your attention is now fuzzy at the edges, the challenges blurring together into a mess of commentary. Beneath you, the sofa seems to swallow you further and further into its enticing comfort.

Distantly, you register the sound of the lock clicking in the front door, and then the push of it falling inward. Your eyes close heavily and startle open again and again, an endless fight against sleep that you’re probably losing.

Thankfully, your boyfriend traipses into the room at that very moment, giving you a reason to turn your head and shake some of the sleep from your person.

He’d popped to the gym while you vegged on the couch, and by the looks of it he’d chanced a trail run. His ebony hair sits in slick curls, dampened with rain. The old shirt he’d thrown on is tacky over his chest and shoulders, likely absorbed with an assortment of rain and sweat. It shouldn’t make him as handsome as it does.

As he tosses his gym bag to the floor, you push yourself up the sofa cushions feebly.

“How’s my gym rat?” you ask sweetly, with a tang of teasing at the corners of your mouth. James is all smiles, leaning into the silly nickname you like so much.

“Hiya, lovey,” he sighs in response, finally settling from his long trek home. He’ll run off to shower in a moment, but for now he moves to lean over the sofa back, aiming to get a good look at you. “Miss me?”

“Mm.” James kisses you once, twice, then leans just far enough away so he can see you. “Terribly.”

“Mm,” he mimics your hum as he leans in for a third kiss, and then two more to your chin. “Same for me. Couldn’t stop thinking of my lovely girlfriend, all warm and dry and falling asleep to the telly.”

“I was not falling asleep,” you insist, even as your eyes droop faintly, dry from so much screen-time.

James lets you have this, though he smiles soft and knowing as he kneads his calloused fingers into the juncture of your neck and shoulder. You sit silently like that for minutes, your forehead meeting his lips in a moment of lucky structure.

“D’you need to shower?” you eventually broach.

“Hmph,” James sighs, “yea.”

Bringing a gentle hand up, he encourages your head back, displacing it to the couch once more. As if you couldn’t possibly do that yourself. It’s a simple thing, an unnecessary thing, but one that James happily does without hesitation.

“Don’t move an inch, love. Back in a tick.”

James disappears, and defying his words—though you know he was exaggerating—you shuffle to spread yourself fully over the sofa.

The shower starts, and the chefs on the screen are up for elimination. You pay hazy attention to who wins, distracted by the muffled water lapping into the tub in the bathroom, and the rain still coming down outside.

Before you know it, you’re slipping under the blanket of sleep, your mind taking each evening apartment noise for its strange sofa dreams.

When you wake later, it’s significantly darker outside, and the apartment is fragrant with dinner-smells. The television is playing an antique auction show quietly. You haul up and off the couch, stumbling into the kitchen where James is working.

“Hello, boyfriend,” you greet sluggishly, still wiping sleep from your eyes. A faint headache lingers that only a sofa-nap causes, so you sally up to the cabinet to start a glass of water.

James, presiding over a simmering pan of mystery sauce, preens over his shoulder at you.

“Lovely girlfriend,” he returns. “How was your nap?”

Unsure of your answer, you hum noncommittally. James glances down at you in amusement as you settle against the counter beside the stove, facing him.

“Weird dreams,” you say as a means of explanation.

“Oh, yea?” James sets his ladle down carefully and crosses his arms. You watch his arms tense against his short black sleeves, and then trace his jaw up to watch his damp hair fall over his forehead. You nod distractedly to his question.

James borrows your water glass for a quick swallow, and you pretend to be inconvenienced. You’re sure he only takes it because it’s yours and he’s been compelled to share everything with you since you started dating—maybe even before that.

Handing the glass back and retrieving his utensil, he asks, “Was I in any?”

The answer is typically yes, and today is no different.

“Mm, I think so, yea.” You squint at the ceiling, dredging your warped dreams back to the front of your mind. “We were trying to swim but we had to get a turtle back to its owner first, and then I think the owner was Bobby Flay.”

You’re laughing at the absurdity as you recall the story, and James sends you amused little glances as he stirs.

“We’re lovely for doing as much. Did we get to swim for our troubles?”

“Nope,” you say disappointedly, “the dream changed to something else after that. I don’t remember what.”

James forces a frown that you think is meant to be lighthearted.

“Rubbish,” he curses. “Day ruined.”

Despite his dramatics, James’ free hand snakes over your torso, slipping under your thick sweater to soothe the skin of your hip. You smile contentedly, headache already ebbing away from the water and his hands and the promise of dinner very soon.

“Was your shower very pleasant?”

“So pleasant,” James agrees immediately, and you can imagine the simple pleasure of hot water on rain-wet hair. It makes you run your palm up his bicep, soaking in his warm skin, his clean clothes.

“Mm. I’m glad.”

A moment later, James steps away to fish a spoon from the silverware drawer. Returning, he dips it into his stew and offers it to your mouth.

“Taste,” he says, but you’re already closing your lips around it. You’d thought it was some kind of pasta sauce, but it’s significantly more rich and spicy than expected. It’s good.

“Curry?” you guess. James nods happily. “I like.”

Giving it his own taste-test, James seems to be happy with the flavor, too. A few more stirs for good measure and then he’s flipping the burner off and thwacking the spoon over the pan to rid any excess.

He moves around like a trained professional, removing the pan from the heat and wiping his hands on a kitchen towel. Competence is always sexy, but James has a way of amping it up further, twisting the metaphorical knife of affection you’ve taken for him.

There’s no arrogance in what he does, despite how good he is at it. He’d brag for days on end about his prowess in the gym, or on the field, but there’s a dexterity he has at home, too, that he doesn’t seem interested in flaunting. It’s the happiest you see him, when he’s practicing this genius of domesticity, and it makes your chest ache.

“Thank you, Jamie,” you muster sweetly, as he ferries your bowl and his to the living room. You reclaim your place on the sofa, and James settles in beside you.

You eat in a fuzzy silence, not really paying attention to anything in particular, just enjoying the food and the company.

“Good?” James ensures, glancing at you. You hum around a bite, enthusiastic. “Not too hot, you’re sure?”

“It’s perfect,” you tell him, calf pressing against his. “I was so hungry.”

“I bet,” he agrees.

Lapsing back into silence, you both pay haphazard attention to the TV once more. When your bowl is empty, you place it beside James’ and ease back into his waiting arms thoughtlessly. It’s like pinging from one good thing to the next—out of the meadow and into the clouds. You sigh.

“I love Sundays.”

James hums his agreement, the sensation shivering up your back. He follows with a press of his mouth, just over your temple.

“Love you, dear.”

The nickname makes your lips lift. James only calls you dear every so often, when he’s feeling truly, undeniably sappy.

You tilt your head up to catch his eye, watching his expression soften the same way yours does. Twisting in his hold, you press a kiss to his strong chin, his aquiline nose—reach up to fix his glasses, just because he’ll let you.

James strokes your back like a harp, and your humming is the music. You know you’ll go to work tomorrow, and you’ll miss him all day, but for now time feels doused in molasses. The apartment—James and you included—is swimming in the thick, sweet flood of your idle words and touches, as it will be tomorrow night, as it was the night before. It’s enough to make the long weeks worthwhile.

“Love you, too, Jamie,” you say, and then it’s him lulling you to sleep instead of the cooking channel.

thank you for reading! 🏹

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hoaxriot · 2 months

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WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW

pairings. sirius black x fem!reader

summary. you and sirius became friends that were soon best friends, everyone saw the love between you two— they truly saw how in love the two of you were, except you didn’t.

notes. this is a muggle au! very much a lottt of fluff:))

sirius black was truly your best friend, he was your other half. he fit you so well, as you fit him. it was an instant click between the two of you, you guys shared so many of the same interests and so much more.

over the past years, he has gotten very comfortable with you, more than he was with his other friends— which have accepted you with open arms. they loved you, you had such an angelic personality to them. somehow always having a smile on your face, making them laugh until their stomachs hurt.

which was happening right now, you had busted your ass walking into the living room where an annual hangout session was happening with the group. you stuck your middle finger up as sirius helped you up, they were used to it— you falling, you were very clumsy.

finding your way in between sirius legs as he sat on the couch, you on the floor as everyone’s laugh died down.

sirius hand’s quickly fell into your hair as a conversation started to flow, soon enough he was braiding a piece of your hair. remus who was sitting beside him, caught on very quickly. he lightly chuckled catching the other’s attention.

“what?” james questioned, remus jerked his head to sirius, you couldn’t see what he was pointing at but sirius did who was now tying a hair tie at the end of the braid. he always has at least two on his wrist, one for him in case his hair annoys him and one for you.

you were very confused when james told you to turn around but nonetheless, you did. he let out an ‘aww’ making sirius reply with a “fuck you.”

“woah, sirius.” you looked up at him, you knew what the fuss was about, you knew the feeling of sirius braiding your hair.

“yeah. woah, sirius. it’s cute is all i’m saying.” james said at sirius’ mean glare. you laughed at the two leaning back between sirius’ legs.

the rest of the night, sirius hands were on your shoulders as your hands caressed his skin.

the next week, the group couldn’t hang out at james’s house because he had the flu so you were lying in your bed— bored as hell. wondering if you could call sirius to come over but figured this was a rare friday night where he could go out.

groaning as you stood up deciding to make brownies, walking through the small hallway of your apartment, into the kitchen you began to grab everything you needed.

after setting everything on the counter, before you could open the box you heard knocking and then the door trying to be opened. “love!” you heard sirius muffled voice.

“let me in!” he continued to yell your name as you walked towards your front door, “hold on!” you yelled back, finally opening the door you saw sirius holding flowers with a bright smile, his hair was wet and a small cut was on his face.

“sirius, bloody hell. what happened to you?” you grabbed his free arm and dragged him into the house, pulling him into your home and into the kitchen.

he smiled leaning against the counter as you started digging through all of your cabinets, grabbing things. you stood in front of him with a worried look as he held out the flowers out for you.

you grabbed them and put them on the counter, he gasped, “you need to put them in water.”

“they can wait,” you spoke grabbing both of his arms and turning him as you now leaned against the counter putting yourself on it, pulling him in between your legs. his hands finding them on the outside of your thighs.

you started to work on the cut that laid on his cheekbone, “sirius, what happened? why do you reek of beer?” questioning him as your eyes found his for a split second, he winced as you rubbed his cut.

“just some bar fight, the cracked a bottle over my head.” he answered so simply like it was nothing, you scoffed finishing his cut. setting the napkin by your side, you felt his hand lightly rubbing your thighs.

you pushed him softly so you could jump off the counter, you grabbed the flowers and a vase, filling it with water and placing the flower in it.

“love,” he lightly said as you turned around and leaned against the counter. “what?”

“are you angry with me?” he asked, you laughed at him as you shook your head, “why would i? you just worry me sometimes.” you answered him, he tilted his head but said nothing.

“so… brownies?” you cut the silence and he smiled, “unless you plan to go off to another bar and get into a fight.” he laughed but grabbed your hand to drag you close to him.

“brownies sound better.” he said grabbing the box and opening it.

the two of you began to bake the brownies, as you mixed the batter, sirius dipped his finger into it and dragged it on your nose.

“sirius!” you laughed leaning away from him, he chuckled as you wiped your nose, not getting everything, sirius wiped the rest of it. you froze realizing how close he was to you and him staring into your eyes.

you stared back, your eyes betraying you and flickering to his lips. clearing you throat you went back to mixing the batter as he stood beside you.

later, the two of you were laying on the couch waiting for them to be done. you were talking about your newest painting you had done, he wanted to see it but you weren’t finished.

“so what? i sit and watch you nearly every time you paint, now i can’t see an unfinished one?” he said, you laughed, “yeah.” you spoke, lucky for you, the timer went off and the brownies were done. you stood up and grabbed them out of the oven, setting them on the top to let them cool. sirius was quick to put his hand out.

you slapped it with yours, “idiot, it’s hot!” you said looking up at him, he was leaning his head over your shoulder so he was practically in your face, again. he was smiling at you, and his eyes flickered to your lips. you had to be losing your mind. he smirked, not his usual sweet smile with you, before backing away.

blinking quite a few times as you turned back towards the brownies, “can you, um, hand me a knife?” you asked him, he got it for you so you started to cut the them.

after letting them cool sirius put the sweets on a plate, without saying anything he started to walk through your home. without questioning, you followed him and there he was lying on your bed already clicking on your remote and snacking.

you laughed, making your way to the bed and laying beside him. “delicious brownies we made.” he spoke with his mouth full.

“gross.” you said grabbing your own, “oh! stop, let’s watch this.” you said seeing a movie you’ve been wanting to watch, so sirius stopped and started playing the movie.

after way more brownies the two of you should’ve eaten, sirius was curled into your side as your fingers played with his hair. the movie was nearly finished and you were almost falling asleep.

sirius moved away from you, looking towards him he began to stretch his whole body. his shirt rode up slowly and your eyes trailed above his pants, you squeezed your eyes shut shocked at yourself.

“you okay, love?” sirius said, opening your eyes to see him watching you.

“perfect!” your voice was all high with the one word making him laugh in confusion.

you sat up in the bed as he did, “you sure?” he leaned closer, what the actual fuck. your mind was going everywhere. without thinking, you leaned in too.

sirius leaned in all the way, capturing your lips with his. at first, you were into much of a shock you didn’t kiss back. sirius pulled away as soon as he realized you weren’t kissing him back.

“fuck— i didn- i don’t know—“ he began to trip over his words, you smiled as you watched him freak out, one of your hands grabbed his neck and pulled him in, kissing him— harder than you expected too.

he kissed back immediately, grabbing your face with his hands. the kiss got messier as you two realized— you were kissing your best friend and you liked him. by the looks of it, he liked you too.

his hands traveled down to your waist, grabbing you and putting you on his lap as he leaned against the headboard. his hands found back at on your cheeks as one of yours was in his hair.

the both of you pulled away for air, he leaned his forehead against yours with heavy breathing.

“holy fuck.” you let out with a small laugh, he laughed also.

the two of you stayed there for a few moments before sirius brought up staying the night, saying how remus (who he lived with) was having someone over. you of course said yes as you got off of his lap.

“you know where your extra clothes are.” you said as he stood up and walked towards your dresser where he had his own drawer seeing how he stayed over so much.

you were already in your pajamas so you got under your covers grabbing another brownie from your nightstand as sirius went into the bathroom.

he came back as quickly as he went in, quickly he found his way on your stomach as your hands went onto his head scratching it. you put on a random movie as he wrapped his arm around your waist.

after thirty minutes of the movie playing you both fell asleep.

ever since that night, sirius had stayed the night for a whole week until the next hangout where james sent an address for everyone to meet up.

you were currently getting ready in your bathroom playing music as sirius sat on the closed toilet watching you do your hair singing along to the fleetwood mac song.

after almost an hour, you were done and walking out the door with sirius hand in hand. your car was in the shop and all there was, was sirius’ bike. you had ridden with him countless times. the first time you felt like you were going to pass out from being so scared but after a few minutes, it was fun.

sirius handed you the extra helmet for you, putting it on and getting on the bike, sirius took off.

when arriving, sirius grabbed your hand as quickly as he could and started searching for your friends. the address where james told y’all to go was just a field full of hundreds of people holding something in their hands.

“there’s rem.” you pointed out your friend, now seeing the others. you started to make your way towards them, dragging sirius behind you.

“sirius, there you are.” remus said getting everyone’s attention, “i’ve began to think you ran away.” he said, pointing out how his best friend hadn’t been home in a week.

“sorry, lad. been at her house.” sirius pointed at you with his free hand, you shrugged with a smile.

“whatever, on with it!” james handed the two of you whatever the others were holding. taking it in your hands confused, looking up at sirius with furrowed eyebrows but all he did was shrug.

“alright, follow me!” james yelled as he opened up the thing, everyone watched him with confusion but did what he did. you looked up at him seeing what it finally was behind him, “sirius, look.” you nudged his arm, he looked down at you than following your eyes.

“woah.” he simply said, “i know, right?” you said looking at him.

everyone had followed james’ instructions, “okay, now just have whoever light it.” he said, sirius put his down and lit yours and it began to float up. it was beautiful with everyone’s flying up too.

you then did sirius’, after everyone did theres, they were watching it— except sirius, he was watching you.

“this is beautiful.” you noted, looking at sirius but he was watching you. he smiled down at you.

“i really wanna kiss you, love.” he whispered, not saying anything you kissed him.

“oh my fucking god!” marlene randomly yelled, everyone turned towards her, then turning to see what she was yelling over. everyone gasped or yelled in suprised at the sight of you and sirius kissing.

james and remus began to whistle, you and sirius pulled away and flicked them off with a smile.

“finally.” lily spoke walking towards you, “took you two long enough.” she said as the boys walked towards sirius and the girls to you.

“ha ha!” you faked a laugh, “seriously?” you said looking towards remus who was giving james a twenty.

“what? it was getting hard on figuring out when you two were going to get together so we made a bet.” james shrugged putting the money in his pocket. you and sirius rolled your eyes.

the rest of the night, the group was walking around the city instead of sitting inside. you and sirius were walking in the middle of everyone, his arm was around your shoulders as your arm was around his waist.

james finally found the destination, a park. it was near midnight so no one was there and he quickly ran towards the slides as everyone started to run towards places on the set.

you and sirius went to the swings, lightly rocking. your hand was on the chains as your head leaned against your hand looking at him, he was thinking hard.

“what’s going on?” you broke his thoughts, he turned towards you.

“hmm, just wondering if i should ask you to be my girlfriend right now or not.” he spoke so casually you almost missed what he actually said.

“what?” you snapped your head towards him, he laughed at the shock on your face. “you heard me.” he said.

“and well?” you said with a smirk, “eh, i don’t know.” he shrugged, you knew he was joking because he was trying so hard not to smile.

“well than..” you looked away, then standing up and making your way in front of him.

“sirius black. will you be my boyfriend?” you said trying not to smile too hard, it was not working, you were grinning ear to ear. he chuckled, pretending to think.

“yea, yes i will.” he answered making you lean down and kiss him again. smiling into the kiss as his hands went to your neck.

“oi! we are at a children’s playground!” james yelled causing lily to hit his head, “ow!” he whispered yelled.

“fuck off, we’ll be leaving then.” sirius said standing up and grabbing your hand.

“have fun!” marlene yelled, you looked over your shoulder to seeing her wink. you laughed looking forward again.

“home?” sirius asked, you smiled hearing him call your home his. you nodded untangling your hands and hooking your arm in his.

#marauders era #sirius black x you #sirius black #sirius black x female reader #sirius black x reader #marauders #james potter #lily evans #remus lupin #marlene mckinnon #peter pettigrew #mary mcdonald #marauder era

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hoaxriot · 2 months

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thank you sm omggg🤍🤍

CAUSE YOU WEREN’T MINE TO LOSE

pairings. james potter x fem!reader.

summary. every year james went away to hogwarts while you went to a different wizard school, but every summer it was you two. until he brought home a girl.

summer was finally here, you were back home and the air was crisp, the warmth was just right. one thing was different but you didn’t know it yet. your mother yelled for you to remember dinner with the potter’s, which of course you already knew.

getting in the shower washing off the smell of your school and getting ready quickly since you arrived home later than usually. your mom yelled for you from downstairs, you groaned as you looked for clothes in your closet since, most were still in your bags.

once you did, you quickly changed and made your way downstairs.

“took you long.” your father said in a joking tone, you smiled at him following your mom out the door and across the street. since the two of your families knew each other since before you were born, your mother walked into the house without knocking. she held a bouquet of flowers as she yelled for euphemia making her yell back where she was in the living room. there was more commotion then usual making you confused.

the three of you made your way into the room where many people were sitted, you noticed sirius, remus, and peter sitting on the floor. then you noticed james sitting beside a red head, very close causing a pit in your stomach to form. more girls sitting around the floor.

usually, when sirius saw you he would hug you but he didn’t which made you even more nervous.

“i’ve met these boy’s but whose this lovely girl?” your mom questions looking at the girl, at her words you look towards james who was now avoiding looking into your eyes, usually when you walked into the door he jumped right up and hugged you.

your eyes snapped away when the redhead began to speak, “i’m lily, lovely to meet you!” she looked at all of you, you tried your best to smile but it wasn’t true. sirius was staring at you, the two of you became very close so you told him about you and james, he now regrets not sending you a letter at the true heartbreak on your face. he knew he should’ve but he was so torn between the two of you.

euphemia always went all out with the get togethers, but today was different. all of james’ friends were here, even lily’s since this year they had become a full group now that the two groups had come together because lily and james were dating.

she called everyone to follow her into the backyard where a long table was sitting in the grass, decorations all over the table. you follow your parents, usually sitting by james and the others but it was different. you watched as all of his friends fell into a group sitting by each other, even sitting far away from one another they were still having conversations.

this was the first time you felt out of place at the potters.

lunch went by slow for you, it felt like hours had passed but only one had. finally, everyone dispersed, your mother and father kissed your head as they followed the other parents, you quickly walked away towards the field in their backyard full of flowers where you and james had spent times together.

your throat had suddenly felt tight and an all too well feeling in your eyes, luckily everyone was too focused on whatever to come to you so letting the tears fall you took a deep breath with your eyes closed, head tilting back just a little to feel the summer breeze hit your rosy cheeks.

too focused on your thoughts, you didn’t hear the footsteps approaching. you quietly gasped seeing someone from the corner of your eye, scared that it was james but relieved to see sirius. he sadly smiled at you.

“when?” you simply questioned, he knew. “beginning of this year, she started to like him after years of him chasing after her.” he explained, your eyebrows furrowed as he spoke.

you let out a scoff with a little laugh, “chasing after her?” sirius winced, he was so beyond fucked, james never spoke about lily when he was on break because he was so focused on you.

feeling the sun peak through your curtains you opened your eyes fully opened, you smiled seeing james sleeping, he was snoring softly. he was beyond beautiful at any time of the day. you brought a hand to his face softly brushing the curls off of his face. he hummed in content at the feeling of your hands.

“morning,” he groggily spoke, you absolutely melted at his morning voice. “morning.” you replied. the sheets were tangled in between you as he tightened his hands around your waist bringing you closer to him, in-fact bringing you to lay on top of him. you lightly laughed as he kissed your neck.

“all these years he came home on break, sneaking out of his own house to come into my room. he went back to school and chased her?” gods, you wanted to hate her but she was everything, she was sweet and beautiful. he wanted to hug you hearing your voice crack as you spoke.

you laughed at yourself, cancelling so many plans your friends had invited to you over breaks for him, stupid james potter.

letting out a breath as you wiped the tears off your cheeks, “i’m so stupid.” you muttered, sirius heard you making him sigh. you turned around and began to walk away. he called your name as he followed you around the house, you did not want to face your parents or his. sirius calling your name caught everyone’s attention. they all watched as sirius followed you, disappearing around the house. james quickly followed leaving everyone making lily confused, leaving everyone confused on what happened.

sirius heard james so he stopped and let him follow you out of the yard.

he continued to call your name but you continued to walk away from him, he finally caught up to you grabbing your wrist.

“baby—“

“do not call me that!” you yelled at him yanking your wrist from his grip, “you do not get to call me that anymore.” the tears kept falling, there was no stopping that. james had tears in his eyes, it was a mess.

“please, just listen to me.” he begged, you scoffed. “no you listen to me, you chased after her for years!” realization struck him, sirius slipped and told you.

“you- what the hell was i too you, james?” desperation filled your voice, “i love you! an— and. god!” you groaned turning your head away. “i was never yours, but you were mine. all the time. while i was away, i was yours— writing to you, thinking about you, calling you, everything! while you were chasing her!” your voice rose in anger.

james had finally let the tears fall, he never knew it would ever come to this. you guys had been best friends since birth, literally. two weeks after you were born, he was. sharing birthdays growing up because the two of you wanted to share it. then he fell in love with you, and you fell in love with him.

now everything was crushed, your friendship and your relationship, he was losing you— he could see it in your eyes.

“i am so stupid.” whispering to yourself, again. luckily he didn’t hear you.

“just, enjoy your friends, james.” you spoke quietly as you turned away and james was so heartbroken he let you walk away, he watched you walk up the stairs to your porch and disappear into your home.

you immediately walked up your stairs and fell onto your bed, sobbing. not even ten minutes had passed when your mother realized you were gone, and she went back home to find you. she walked up the stairs quickly seeing your door open and the sounds of your sobs, her shoulders sunk seeing her daughter like this.

“sweetie.” she whispered sitting on your bed putting her hand on your shoulder.

“i thought he loved me back.” you spoke between sobs, you knew she knew because she was your mom. even though you didn’t tell her this one thing, she knew. the nights he snuck into your room or watching the two of you from the potters kitchen window.

“oh, my sweet girl.” she slid her shoes off and wrapped her arms around you letting you cry. soon enough, your father came home sensing something was wrong when his wife didn’t come home, he saw the two of you but let you be.

almost an hour had pass when the tears stopped, your mom wiped your cheeks and kissed it. “go take a warm bath and i’ll cook your favorite dinner.” she smiled as her hands were on your face, nodding softly the two of you got off of your bed.

later that night, you laid in your bed thinking.

james was never yours to lose.

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