Okay but Jimbei is like, an old pirate. Joining the Strawhats is basically his retirement job. He’s like “ugh man I’ve been doing all this political maneuvering for decades it’s so exhausting” and Luffy pops up like “wow lame wanna join my Funtime crew instead? I’ll let you punch whoever you want” and Jimbei’s like yeah. I do want that actually.
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Dick in Gotham handling a hostage situation at a local university. Some villain crashed a party in the student apartments and has the whole building locked down. Dick is in there with Damian, and they finally make it to the floor where the bad guy is and they’re having this big tense stand off before the final fight…
and then one of the college students who this guy had huddled in the corner grabs a chair and just fucking clocks this guy. He hits him over the head so hard that the chair breaks and the guy COLLAPSES. Dick is like . Oh??
And then the student turns around (with a truly unhinged glint in his eye) and Dick recognizes him and realizes OH . Oh this is Tim’s boyfriend. That’s the crazy guy who recruited us to go beat up cultists with him. Yeah we didn’t even need to come he had that handled actually
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making up a guy to get mad at can actually be really lovely and rewarding like for example i was feeling understimulated so i crafted an alternate world where moby dick was super popular on tumblr and the most popular ship from moby dick was ahab x humanized whaleboy merguy moby dick who was always drawn as like a skinny little white guy with white hair and sharp teeth and sort of unusual eyes like maybe with black scleras or something. and it was literally inescapable and people made like hannigram aus where will was ahab and hannibal was moby dick and people also made human!boatless!modern! aus of ahab x moby dick where they were just like normal guys as well. and the moby dick fandom all thought they were so cool and countercultural because melville's unfinished novella billy budd was also really popular and the billy budd fans were at odds with the moby dick fans because billy budd fans described it as like a heartfelt queer story in comparison to moby dick being toxic and soulless (because ahab was trying to kill moby dick in canon) and moby dick fans described billy budd as basically steven universe but none of this ended up mattering because in four years the meteors came and all life on earth was lost
if you are reading this please donate to $trextalents on cashapp; he is a disabled fx artist active in my city’s horror scene who is in a bad situation and needs financial aid. if you cannot donate, please reblog my pinned post with more information. the world of this post is not real, but logan is.
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Bruce: *Watching the news* -a group of two adults, four teenagers and a child were seen wreaking havoc and destruction in-
Bruce: *Feeling a headache coming* Please don't say Gotham, please don't say Gotham. Please don't say they are children, please don't say they are my children
News: -Central city authorities have not yet discovered their identities but are working for-
Bruce: *Completely relieved* Not my circus, not my monkeys.
*Batkids appearing at the bottom of the screen*
Tim: Okay, I don't want to scare anyone but there is an 80% chance this thing will explode.
Dick: Considering everything we did today, this actually seems pretty minor to me.
Jason: Only 80%? Did you hear that, NOT TODAY, SATAN!!
Damian: *Talking on the phone before hanging up and turning to Jason* Satan says he's very offended and would never bother dealing with people like you, Todd.
Duke: I have some questions about the monster trucks we sunk.
Steph: You're talking about the monster trucks we sunk in Gotham harbor? or the monster trucks we crashed in Metropolis?
Duke: I don't remember crashing monster trucks in Metropolis.
Tim: Of course not, you were too busy trying to stop the fire you started a few streets down.
Duke: Oh yes, I remember that. My mistake.
Damian: Honestly Thomas, I would expect this elderly behavior from Grayson, not you.
Dick: *Gasp* Elderly behavior?? Lil'D I'm not that old, plus you're supposed to be on my side!!
Jason: Sorry Dickhead, but demon brat is right.
Cass: *Appearing out of nowhere and pointing at the abandoned building behind they* Boom
Steph: What?
*the building explodes*
Cass: 🙂👍
Dick: Oh my god, Bruce is going to kill us. Run, guys, run.
Jason: You heard the man. WITHDRAWAL!!
*The transmission is cut off*
Bruce: ...
Bruce: *In collapse* My circus, my monkeys. My circus, my monkeys.
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The Bat-Adoption Papers are literal Magic Contracts
So! In the Deified Batman AU (the AU where the Belief of the peoples of Gotham accidentally Ascended Batman to minor godhood), the Bat Adoption Papers would be a fun concept.
Batman is a God of The Night, Fear, and Protection. Specifically, the protection of Children, which is one of his biggest motivators. Meaning, it's a big part of his Divine Domain.
So when he, a God of Protection and Children, adopts his own Child? It's kind of a big deal.
His Adoption Papers basically become Magical Contracts that claim Dick to him as his own Son, basically turning Dick into a Demigod by the fact that he is the Son of a God.
Then each time Batman adopts a kid, they become a Demigod as well. Maybe after enough time, and after they forge their own Identities, they could become Minor Gods of their own? Idk, fun idea
Why do I bring this up?
Well, when Danny eventually joins the JLA, and runs into Batman, all he sees in a God of the Night, who takes one look at him, and then pulls out a Magical Binding Contract from his Belt.
Needless to say, he books it.
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