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curatorofvibes · 1 year

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Venus-Saturn (Blooming)

NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO REPOST, PLEASE GIVE CREDIT.

Artwork by Nalyk1010

The title of this playlist is, “Learning To Love Me… again” with the theme of a single flower in a garden going through a full bloom, albeit late, it’s happening nonetheless. To me, this single flower is a representation of the listener of this playlist. The tears shed throughout this journey by the listener is the water needed for the flower to grow. The sunlight is represented by the listener finally seeing their worth and deciding to choose healing and to no longer hide who they really are. The beauty of a garden, in my opinion, is that it is never finished. It goes through cycles of birth, death, and renewal, proving that there is always space and opportunity to change and grow. Through the gentle, nurturing hands of the gardener, this process is handled with care and grace. My hope is that the listener of this playlist and reader of this post, cares for themselves as a gardener would care for their garden.

Now time to explore this 2h and 33min garden. I hope you all enjoy!

The way I picture this playlist coming to life is from the setting of a garden, the home of this single flower being introduced and so to do that, I used the song, “Garden (Say It Like Dat)” by SZA. To me this song in terms of this playlist represents insecurity and dependence on others for love and validation instead of looking within yourself and growing your self-love. With SZA using the words, “Need you…”during the first few lines of the song and, “I need your support now.” but most especially, “Hope you never find out who I really am, ‘cause you’ll never love me.” …

Going into the next song, “12:21” by Yana Perrault, the realization of probably never finding love or being loved for who you truly are hits with the line, “Will I ever find love and a name that feels familiar.” You can’t help but want to speed up the process of finding love, “I wish I had all of the answers.” Like dang, why can’t I just jump to the solution of what it takes to be loved. I also used this song as a representation of rushing to find the one because you feel like you’re running out of time, “And I wish the world wasn’t ending. We don’t have forever, ain’t getting no younger. Girl, keep it together.” …

Moving onto the song, “You Should Know Where I’m Coming From” by BANKS, you start thinking, “Maybe I’m the problem?”, “Maybe I’m just too hard to please.”, “Maybe I’m just better off alone for eternity.”, “Maybe finding true love in this lifetime just wasn’t meant for me.” Still, you can’t help but crave love. So you isolate yourself (the song “People Watching” by Conan Gray is a representation of this self-isolation and yearning) and the days when you choose to do the opposite, you try to fake it so that you can try to feel something, but you end up feeling like a “Liability”…

When you get to the song, “OverHeated” by Billie Eilish it goes from feeling like a “Liability” to feeling judged for who you are, most especially for your looks. You feel like all eyes are on you. You start comparing yourself to others and even you yourself start judging those who fit the beauty standard out of anger for not feeling like you fit in. It all becomes kind of overwhelming and you just wish to escape it, wish it didn’t exist. Have you ever thought of it from the perspective of, they’re not judging you, but you’re judging yourself? Be kind to yourself, give yourself grace. There’s a quote by Zen Shin that I feel is applicable here, “A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.”

Eventually you learn that, “Tears Dry On Their Own” and hey, flowers do need water to grow. You’re growing. You’re healing. It feels like the lyrics from the song, “Lilith” by LUX AGAPE, “I started feeling without shame. I know now I was always free. I was always pure energy.”...

While the self-love journey is beginning, you can’t help but still have some doubts creep back in about love from others because of what you’ve already endured and what you fear when it comes to the topic. I used the song, “Dangerous” by Asiah to start off the representation of those doubts pertaining to this playlist. You think that, “It’s dangerous to love. It’s dangerous to trust.” And, “I’ve been building up a wall that I can’t break.” Allowing someone the opportunity to see the real you and not knowing how it’s going to end can feel dangerous. It’s the fear of the desired unknown.

The song after “Dangerous” is, “Peur d’aimer” by Franglish. This song is asking why do you fear love? In representation of this playlist it’s asking the flower to confront its fears by asking itself the questions that may seem tough, but necessary to learn how they ended up in the position that they are in now, and how can they heal and grow from it. It is also asking the flower to decide what it is they want out of love and to believe that it is possible and out there waiting to meet you halfway. Break down that wall and allow yourself to be vulnerable.

Then we get to the song “Sunflower” by Tamino and Angèle. From Verse 1, “Down by the banks, a sunflower blooms. Reaching into the clouds, ever young and ever-growing. Defying the hardest winds’ blowing.” To, “Taken up by devotion.” And from the last few lines of this song, “Now I water the ground in which she stands and shield her from every storm.” To me, this song is representing the strength of the flower to bloom in spite of their fears and doubts. I know Tamino is probably singing about watering and protecting another flower, but in this playlist I’m choosing to use those last few lines as a representation of the flower watering and protecting itself.

The song, “I’m Old Fashioned” by Ilene Woods was slipped into this playlist specifically for Venus-Saturn natives. When I think about this natal aspect in a chart, I think of someone desiring a traditional love and what would be described as having old fashioned values when it comes to love.

To describe a shift in perspective I used the song, “Angles” by Mick Jenkins, Noname, and Xavier Omär. This is the beginning of starting to see all that you’ve been through from a different lens. Rather than being hard on yourself about the heartbreak that you’ve endured and the lack of self-love that you once had, you see it in the light of, I needed this to happen in order to bloom. “Had to get to know myself before I claimed I loved me. Nobody else, just for myself, got more myself just for me. Growing everyday, I'm growing everyday.” I feel like the song, “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande is the most perfect song from beginning to end of a representation of that shift in perspective. Most people would probably bash their ex’s and never see a past relationship or friendship in the light of: I needed to go through that heartbreak or encounter that person to help the process of learning to love me. Throughout the song Ariana is thanking her ex’s for everything that they’ve taught her and put her through because it led her onto the path of meeting someone else (spoiler alert: herself) and recognizing how remarkable that person is.

The song, “Flower (In Full Bloom)” by Luna Li and Dreamer Isioma represents the transition into really boosting yourself up and taking back your power. With lyrics such as, “You don’t own me.”, “When I think about all the things that I can do, I know I will go on thriving without you. ‘Cause I’m in touch with my heart and body too.”, “I don’t got nothing to prove.” Remember when I brought up flowers needing water to grow, this song points that out with this line, “What’s the point of planting flowers when there’s no rain?” ...

Soon we get to the song, “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus and this song in my opinion is similar to “thank u, next” because we see Miley choosing to not despise and hate what she’s been through with lyrics such as, “No remorse, no regret. I forgive every word you said.” We see her, just like Ariana, coming to the realization that hey, I’m here for me, and I’ve been here all along. I forgive myself for the negative and self-destructive thoughts I once identified with. I can change those thoughts and beliefs, I no longer have to be that person. I also don’t need to depend on someone else to be myself and do the things that I want to do, “I can buy myself flowers. Write my name in the sand. Talk to myself for hours, say things you don’t understand. I can take myself dancing. And I can hold my own hand. Yeah, I can love me better than you can.” Try giving yourself the same grace that you would give to your own child. This quote by Michelle K. displays this sort of grace, “I treat myself like I would my daughter. I brush her hair, wash her laundry, tuck her in goodnight. Most importantly, I feed her. I do not punish her. I do not berate her, leave tears staining her face. I do not leave her alone. I know she deserves more. I know I deserve more.” I feel like this is when the self-love portion of this playlist has reached its strongest. I also would like to add that you’re the only one who hears your thoughts and has to live with them, so you might as well make it a beautiful and comforting place to be.

To cap off this playlist it ends with the song, “Late Bloomer” by Mereba. Even though all of the other flowers in the garden bloomed before you, you still made it! You’re still here! Forget a specified time to grow, what matters is that you still bloomed despite all that you’ve been through. Everything that you’ve been through was essential in the process of you becoming this healed, beautiful, radiant flower full of self-love, self-worth, and self-validation. You know now that you are able to be loved for the real you. It starts with you choosing to love being yourself and accepting love from others. At the end of the day, “Late bloomers still rise.” ...

I also would like to share these two posts on Venus-Saturn aspects that I liked reading. The first link can be found by clicking the word, “Venus” and the second link can be found by clicking the word, “Saturn”.

“The little flower which has bloomed once, blooms forever.” - Neville Goddard

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shadowglens · 1 year

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:3c mental health for grimhild

jumbo ask meme

🌳 Compare your OC to themself from 10 years ago. How has their mental state changed since then, how have they aged and grown up? Would they say they’re in a better place than they were back then or do they need help? What advice would they give their younger self? What advice would their younger self give to them now?

ten years is but a blink in the eyes of an immortal god, but surprisingly so much has changed for grimhild. a decade ago she was stuck fighting a losing war with freyr on vanaheim, a war they’d been fighting for centuries. she was tired and had little hope that they would ever truly beat odin and his war dogs, but at least she was free. she had been in worse places, for sure, but was definitely in a bit of a stagnant, unmotivated point in her life ten years ago.

now, so much has changed. so much has changed. freya is in grimhild’s life again, odin is dead, ragnarok has come and gone, freyr has died and come back to her, she has a daughter katla, she has more people around her then she’s had since her childhood. it’s all a bit overwhelming, honestly, but in a good way. grimhild is in a more difficult place with her powers after ressurecting freyr, but she also has more hope than she’s ever had, so it’s a small price to pay. parenthood and freedom and peace are all such foreign, wonderful things for her. if she had to give herself advice, she would tell herself the same thing she’s been saying for centuries - hope is not a waste, even if it hurts sometimes.

🍏 Does your OC have any triggers? What is the history behind these triggers and are they related to any disorders or mental illnesses? In what ways does your OC react to being triggered?

not really. grimhild will definitely start to tunnel vision if she ever sees heimdall or thor in person, but that’s less of a trigger and more the fact that they each killed one of her parents. grief is a long, rotting thing for gods.

🥝 What does a bad mental health day look like for your OC? Walk us through it with them. What kind of things can help them out of this slump and what kinds of things comfort them when they start to feel like this?

grimhild gets angry and cold and more likely to snap at you. anger is definitely one of the main tells that she’s Not Doing Well - she gets angry at herself for feeling hopeless, angry at others for noticing, angry at the world for making her this way. she also tends to isolate herself a lot out of shame after the anger has burned through. the best way for her to drag herself out of a slump is to talk to her loved ones about it, even if it makes her feel like a burden.

🍐 What is your OC’s mentality? Are they overall positive? Negative? A bit of both? Describe their thought patterns and reasoning behind their choice making!

she’s a fairly pragmatic person more than anything. when she was younger grimhild was definitely more of a pessimist, but spending so much time with freyr after the aesir-vanir war resulted in a lot of his optimism bleeding through to her. she is a blunt person by nature and won’t sugar coat a situation, but she does have a sickly kind of hope deep in her gut that fights with the more prominent, practical side of her. she wants to see the best in people and hope for a better future, but it’s hard for her to overlook the reality of any given situation. she’s getting better about it though.

💚 Talk about some of the traumatic events in your OC’s life. These events can be ones that have happened to them or a loved one. These events can be minor or major.

oh man. grimhild has lived for a long time and seen a lot of horrors, which is another reason why she’s so blunt and pragmatic. she doesn’t remember the death of her mother, never even knew her mother, but the retelling of it haunts her even so. she does remember her father’s death though, remembers the sight of thor tearing his beautiful green-red wings clean from his back, remembers his scream as he was scorched with lightening, remembers watching his corpse tumble from sky above asgard.

one other prominent, traumatic memory was freyr being burned by odin and the aesir. she remembers watching his charred body tumble through the portal, remembers the sight of his melted skin and burned-away hair and the blackened mess of his feet and legs. most of all, she remembers the heat of his body as she flew him to the healers, and the way he screamed in agony for two days as the healers pieced him back together. grimhild will never forget that day for as long as she lives.

#oc tag #denerims #ch: grimhild #gow spoilers #gore tw #(for that last one? kind of? idk just to be safe)#thank you emily for indulging me!!!!!! these were some good ones for grida

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maskfree · 1 month

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My parents are hardcore people pleasers though I can't blame them coz that's how they survived when they were young. Life was hard back then. They needed to please the upper class just so they could work for them or, in turn, receive help from these rich people. They grew up needing and eventually, wanting for the rich's validation. Unfortunately, this is something that's still prevalent to this day to anyone economically unstable.

My parents worked hard to get out of poverty. Actually, both of them were each other's first cousins. Their relationship was a taboo that they had to marry in some place far away from our hometown. My grandparents were against it but maybe love is just that unstoppable once you experience it. Personally, I never did but I get the picture.

To be honest, I don't really mind them being cousins. They sort of thought that's the problem that I'm keeping from them. In reality, them being people pleasers is what's traumatizing me more as an autistic. Whenever they try to please other people, my mom would cook so much. Sometimes I pity her coz she's tiring herself out for the benefit of someone else. She doesn't deny that it's a toxic behavior she got from our grandparents. I love her and I feel for her but the more I do things for her, the more I won't be able to leave room for myself. My siblings and I would help her. I don't really mind helping her but what I hated the most in this situations is that both her and my dad would want us to attend those parties where they are invited to. It's nothing for my other siblings. But for me, as a late-diagnosed autistic with PTSD, it was deeply overwhelming. I don't really like attention. I don't like being asked and be required to respond in front of a crowd for their entertainment in order to support my parents' image.

Apart from my experiences at school, these gatherings were traumatizing to me every time even if it's with our relatives. And so, as I get older, I would often decline joining them. Because of this, they would tell me how different I am with my siblings. They would shame me for not being sociable and would compare me to my cousins or other kids my age who are sociable.. that this or that person is better than I am. It really depressed me and back then, I blamed myself for being incapable. Like why am I incapable of these things that seem normal or easy to them? I hated myself. The old me had very low self-esteem, who didn't know what I deserve. Well, until now, I still suffer from low self-esteem. It has become my default growing up this way. While it's okay if they genuinely like to people please, I just wish that they keep it to themselves and not involve me. They have very little idea of how stressful it is for me... That they'd rather shame or guilt-trip me for not joining them. They make me regret existing. This isn't the kind of life I desire, not too accepting nor nurturing.

At the very least, it helps that I'm now aware of why I felt those intense emotions back then. I've always longed for this clarity. And now that it's given to me - this knowledge and self-awareness - I never expected that I'll be experiencing some sort of grief. Grief for the old me, who didn't know any better, who always gets shamed for being different. The old me, who felt extremely bad about myself with no one to guide me patiently and gently. The old and present me, who still has no one within my circle to understand me. Grief for the present and future me, who would forever have a hard time navigating this world designed for neurotypicals.

It may be terrible as it sounds but other autistics' experiences being shared have given me a somewhat sense of relief that I'm not alone in experiencing this. That it's not entirely our fault. Truly, misery loves company. Though one thing I hope is that things would be better for anyone with disability in the future. One day, I wish every single one of us won't regret being born into this world. Though for now, let me regret it.

#actually autistic #autism #maskfreethoughts #autistic burnout #ptsd #trauma #masking

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in-the-red-notebook · 2 months

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Moyra Davey Response

I found Moyra Daveys notes on photograohy to resonate with me more than many of the other texts I have read regarding photographic theory, her cinical standpoint in writing rung true to my own current outlooks. For the past few months I've felt very stuck in my photographic work, much like Davey, who wrote, "my production of photographs has dwindled to a trickle, I've grown melancholic and ambivalent about photography." She later stated, “Writer’s block has a legitimacy. There’s nothing comparable for artists, no common designation for similar stoppage, and with this symbolic deficiency comes a shame implying a failure of the will, lassitude, impotence.” I feel like I am searching for some kind of resurgance in inspiration for photography.

I could not find who stated this quote Davey included in her writing, but to me, it was intertwined with this feeling of stuckness. There's a perspective that suggests, "The less doctored, the less patently crafted, the more naive, the better a photograph is likely to be." This innate desire to capture every moment, fueled by the accessibility of technology, has become synonymous with existence. I think that a lot of unexpected beauty can come from this excessive documentation, when filtered through a lot of interesting material can be born from this. It makes me think of Penelope Umbrico’s Sun series, in which Umbrico compilled hundreds of sunset photos found from flickr. It’s this extreme level of care in order to not forget, such as Barthes’ excessive note taking. Lisa Models perspective speaks on why the snapshot has such allure, “We are all so overwhelmed by culture that it is a relief to see something which is done directly, without any intention of being good or bad, done only because one wants to do it."

This made me think about the current pervasive influence of social media that perpetuates this culture of constant sharing. It allows a space for the snapshot to thrive while promoting this need for your existence to be recognized by others. However, it has evolved beyond mere updates on our lives; it feeds into this “dopamine addiction” (burst of dopamine signals importance, makes action easier to repeat w/o thinking, forms habit). On top of this, there exists a stark contrast between these attention grabbing images and the profound pain being experienced in the current state of the world. This dichotomy has led me to feel a sense of paralization that makes much work feel menial. I feel as though making meaningful art has been extremely difficult at this time, tying back into this artistic block Davey speaks of.

I found this jaw bone on a train track.

Sophie Nelson

#sophie

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xvioletxdinsmorex · 8 months

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@saintescassiel Cassiel had been out on a stroll, attempting to desensitize himself to the world he’d only recently become a fresh part of. Everything here was greatly overwhelming at first, so different from how it once appeared from the heavens. It was much like seeing the sun shine in from a window compared to going outside midday after being in the dark. Every sound, every scent, every emotion was vastly exaggerated to him here- and the near palpable deal of excitement he perceived from nearby was no exception. He trailed it to a rather ordinary looking store, or more specifically from someone inside it, who practically reeked with an elation so contagious that it formed a smile over Cassiel’s own lips. After a moment of reasoning, he decided to peruse the shop for a bit while he was around. "Greetings." Cassiel’s hand raised, palm open and fingers pressed together in his own formal wave to the witch. He looked instantly intrigued by the masses of old items that were presumably for sale, some of which he even vaguely recognized. The entire room smelled stale, but in a pleasant way; like history. His focus was precluded by the feeling of a secondary, smaller life form in the space that had gone previously unnoticed until his senses adjusted to the environment. He turned to observe the petit creature, his brows furrowing slightly over a pitiful gaze. This odd familiar, he wrongly assumed, was a rather sorry excuse for a wolf. Such a shame how the once majestic canids had fallen so far from their original grace. With a strong will to not openly cringe at the visage of the 'dog', Cassiel instead offered it a brief pursed-lipped smirk before averting his attention back to the eager shopkeeper. "Forgive me," He shook his head with a soft chuckle, "I'm- not from around here. What is this 'Ven-mo'? Some new form of magical currency?"

Violet watched the man as he looked around and then seemed to inspect Wednesday who was gnawing on the corner of a box. Normally she'd shoo the dog away from the box but Wednesday had been really good while Violet had been moving things, so if she chewed on one box Violet didn't see the harm with that.

When the man asked what Venmo was she couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. Clearly he was some sort of supernatural, and maybe if she was more open with using her magic she'd be able to tell what he was, but even most supernatural people had kept up to date with the changing world, but of course, that was the key word there; most. There were plenty who weren't as up to date with the changing world and she was sure that made it more difficult to keep hidden- so mark that as a good reason for them to have come out.

Not that she was keeping a list or anything- but of course she kind of was.

"Oh ah," she paused and turned to look at him a little more head on. "It's not magical, it's electronic," she explained as she pulled her phone out of her back pocket and took a step towards him. "Here, if you have a phone, you download the app and then connect your banking details," she explained as she showed him the app on her phone. "You do have a bank account- right?"

#saintescassiel #Cassiel #Interactions: Cassiel #//moved to this account! :D

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arcadejohn127-9 · 3 years

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Can we get the brothers and undatables being at one of Diavolos parties and a nobles starts telling MC that The brothers and undatables don’t really care about them. They start telling them that they are just Diavolos pawn and Lilliths replacement. BTW I love your writing it’s honestly some of my favorite pieces in the fandom.

Some of-of your f-favourite pieces in the fandom??!! Um Chile anyways- OMG!! Y'all are too sweet to me!!! Thank you so much!

I'm not going to lie, I got shocked when I saw another requested this as I just finished writing section for this ask but my brain is dumb and really focused on one sentence and read it utterly wrong

Part 2 - ending

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"ah, so you're the human I've been hearing so much about."

You turned around to see a Noble, you bowed at him with a smile.

"oh- hello, who are you? If the human you've been hearing about is (Y/N) then Yep! That's me!"

"splendid! I'm so glad I finally get to meet you, I've heard so much from Diavolo and news sources, you wouldn't mind humouring me for a dance and talk?"

"it'll be my honour." You took his arm, letting him guide you to the dance floor.

You could feel the brothers eyes on you, watching closely to how you rested your hands on the demons shoulder. All of them slowly stalking as you two danced.

"what is it like being a human in the Devildom?"

"scary...at first but now I feel like it's my home! I really can't imagine being anywhere else."

"free housings, connections to the most powerful beings in this realm and outside, pacts with the the 7 brothers and having them do anything you desire."

"I mean- I guess? It's nothing like that or that I'm using them, it's a long story - I love them all very much."

"you may not be using them but they're definitely using you, we're demons after all and there is nothing more precious to us than a soul likes yours."

You were suddenly pulled through the crowd, his dancing becoming quicker and sharp as if sensing the brothers watching him.

"don't you realize you're just the princes pawn? A small piece of a puzzle of his 'plans' - do you really think a demon of his importance would really care about bringing peace?! It's all but a ruse and you're just helping him fulfil it."

"that's not true! Diavolo is a kind and thoughtful man, he wants peace and I will be a stepping stone for that to happen - after all I am a link to all three realms."

"human with demon pacts and ancestral connections to both the brothers and angels - how is it being the ancestor to Lilith? I heard she was a real doll but such a shame she risked it all for some moral, have they ever compared you two?"

"how do you know about my ancestor? They've- never properly made a comparison and I'm sure they mean it in an affectionate way-!"

"don't you ever feel like a replacement? I heard since the discovery they've treated you even better, that can't be a coincidence."

Your blood went cold as your heart collapsed into your stomach. Your eyes glancing to the brothers In the distance. You knew he wasn't right but apart of you was scared. After all, he knew so much that you didn't think anyone outside of your social circle would know. How did he know all this?

"we went through something really traumatic together, it was bound to make us closer-"

"just admit it, you know you're being use but you just won't accept it because you're scared of facing and truth and being left - is there something unpleasant waiting for you in the human world? Is that why you're so willing to be preyed upon?"

"it's not like that..."

He suddenly dipped you, you clutched to his shoulder as tears glazed your eyes.

"isn't it? Can you confidently say it isn't?"

"yes.." your voice came out shaky and distant, you wanted to be confident but you couldn't.

"they don't care about you, all they want is to use you, make it easier on yourself and leave, run as fast as you can and never come back to the devildom."

Lucifer:

He was the first to reach you after your dance with the Noble

He twirled you so you would face him

"what did he say to you? You're crying."

"it's nothing..."

He opened his mouth to press on but he saw you grit your teeth

Glaring at the dance floor as you two stepped to the music

"If he threatened you then I'll handle him, it's no issue for me to do so."

You just shook your head

"stop being so overprotective, I know you don't actually like having to look after me, just stop forcing yourself."

"That's not true, I look after you because I care about you, it's become more than a duty."

You just clicked your tongue, pushing yourself away from him, disappearing into the crowd

Mammon:

Mammon held your hand, hugging you from behind as you two swayed

"You don't look too happy, are you overwhelmed?"

"I am now that you're here."

Which wasn't a lie, you felt so conflicted and betrayed, having him around just made you want to cry

He frowned, spinning you around

"oi, what's that all about? If I did something you gotta be honest with me,I swear I didn't steal nothing."

"I'd prefer it if you did, then being mad at you wouldn't feel so horrible."

He raised a brow

He was completely confused on why you were acting like this

"Was it that noble guy? Did he say something to you? I swear when I find him-"

You shook your head, moving away from him

"You're not going to do anything, you're a coward - just stop pestering me."

You felt awful but you didn't do anything to fix it, just running away from the shocked demon

Levithan:

"You here to take a break? Join you, I will."

He pointed to the empty spot smiling at himself for his Yoda voice

You wanted to feel bad but right now you were extremely upset

"Yeah, I do, I don't want to be around anyone right now."

"I get that but Lucifer said someone's has to be with you but I don't blame you for not wanting me to do it-"

You snarled

"can you not make this about you?! I just don't wanna deal with anymore demons!"

You shuffled closer into yourself, eyes subconsciously finding the noble you talked to

Levi followed your gaze, his Insecure angst turning into annoyance

"That noble did something....it's okay to speak up, we can go to prince-"

"go away! I don't want to keep hearing you pretend to care about me!"

He was stunned

You suddenly stood up and trudged away from Levi, seeking out the bathroom

Satan:

You ducked away from the crowd of demons

Sticking close to the wall as you clutched your arms

The nobles clawing at your mind as you stared to the side

"Did you enjoy the dancing? You look tired, I know a good hiding spot."

"Where is it?"

"I'll take you there-"

He went to grab your shoulder but you just shrugged him away

Not daring to look at him

"just tell me where it is, I'll get there on my own just fine."

Satan turned his head, trying to get a better look at your expression

But you just stepped away from him

"if you're not going to tell me I'm going to go find it myself-"

He grabbed your wrist, cutting you off

"Was it that noble? What did he say to you?"

His anger flared as he glared at the noble

You Yanked your wrist away, frowning

"wouldn't you like to know?! Just let me- just let me breathe-!"

He paused, inhaling a deep breath

You took that moment to run off, wanting to escape the situation

Asmodeus:

"oh (Y/N)~!! I'm so glad you're finally free, when I saw that guy dancing with you I got so jealous, I thought you were going to give me all your dances?"

He playfully pouted whilst holding your hands

When he saw you weren't smiling his chipper mood immediately dropped

You moved away from him, Unable to pull your thoughts together

"what's wrong..? Did he say something?"

You shook your head

Should you tell him? But what if they treat you different?

What if it really is all a fake?

"I just need to get some air."

"oh! I'll come with you!"

He springed up, grabbing your hand once again

You threw yourself back in panick

"NO-! I mean- no thank you."

You quickly dashed to the nearest balcony ignoring the murmurs in the ballroom

Beezlebub:

You bumped into one of the many buffet tables

Avoiding an active ballroom wasn't easy

"you're not dancing anymore? Want to sit with me?"

You jumped, somehow surprised Beel was at a buffet table

"no....I'm good, I'm going to the dorm."

"Already? Do you need me to walk you home? It's pretty late."

You shook your head

You wanted to chew him out for being so kind of you

Your overwhelming emotions rising as you tried to stay dismissive

"Just tell the Brothers I'm leaving, I think I'm going to head back home."

Beel raised a brow

You looked away from his confused expression

"my real home, I need to leave the Devildom."

"you're upset from your dance with the noble, we can talk about instead of you leaving-"

"I need a break."

You repeated, your voice becoming irritated and cold

You held back your frustration and left the party

Belphegor:

"Are you leaving?"

You yelped, knocking your hand on the main door

You just wanted to slip out of the party but it seems you'd have to confront one of the brothers

Belphegor yawned, rubbing his eye

He was sleeping in the coat closet until you woke him up by your footsteps

"yes- I'm tired of this party."

"I'm tired aswell, let's go together, I'm ready to sleep."

He shuffled out of the closet but you put your hands out Infront of you

"go sleep in the palace, I don't want to be around you or-or any of you-!"

"Was it that noble? I felt jealous when I saw you two dancing together but now it seems I shouldn't of, he said something to you, didn't he? What did he say?"

You didn't even realize he saw you or was awake when that happened

You backed up until you bumped into the door

Belphegor cornered you

Wanting his questions answered but you just shoved him back

"leave me alone-! I know you're just see me as an replacement!"

You slammed the door after you and sprinted back to the dorms

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

"I see you're expanding your circle, I'm glad- why do you look so upset?"

"it's nothing, my Lord-"

You both stopped

You haven't referred to him like that since the beginning of the exchange program

He leaned down to get a better look at you, eyes darting over the conflicted and slightly Horrified expression

Both of your gazes landed on the noble

"What did he say to you? If he made you uncomfortable or threatened you, I'll deal with this-"

He tried to give you a comforting pat on the shoulder but you pushed your body away

"Quit it! Stop trying to act like you care."

You were sure if people saw your interaction they'd be glaring at you

Thinking of your audacity

But Diavolo was worried about you

He knew that Nobel has hurt you

"I do care for you, we all do - please tell me what happened."

You covered your ears, tears pricking your eyes

You shook your head and ran away

Needing space to figure out your thoughts and your emotions

Barbatos:

You trudged past Everyone, growing irritated with yourself

Were you really going to believe that guy? But it seemed to make sense

If it wasn't right then why did you feel this way?

"here, you look as if you need it."

He hands you a handkerchief

You took it slowly, looking at him with distrust

You frowned as he just smiled at you patiently

"why do you even care? Is it because of the prince?"

"I'm simply helping because I desire to, it seems Someone is causing an issue with you."

"Don't you know everything? You should know exactly what's wrong....you don't have to keep acting all vague in hopes it'll throw me off, I know you all are-"

He tilted his head, eyes squinting with an almost annoyed expression

"nevermind....Just leave me alone."

"I will but it is best to remind you that the Noble you're trusting Is not the type of man you want to be around, he is using you not the other way round."

Your froze

Unsure how to respond, you clutched the handkerchief as you gritted your teeth

You quickly ran off not wanting to confront your emotions

Solomon:

Isn't this Fun? I've even made a few pacts whilst here-"

"why are we even here? Do you ever feel like we're not actually wanted? Just being used?"

Your eyes flickered between Diavolo and the noble

Rubbing your arm as you tried to soothe yourself

Solomon followed your eyes

Clicking his tongue

"I see, that nobles gotten to your head, don't fear my apprentice, I'll fix this."

He rolled up his sleeves but you just grabbed his arm

You felt stupid for thinking you two could be on the same thought process

Was it really just the Nobel Getting to you???

But what you're feeling feels so real and so genuine - this feeling of just being a pawn or a replacement to them

"No...it's silly to think we'd be on the same page, they have much more history with you meanwhile all I have is being their sister's ancestor."

You walked off leaving the wizard to mewl over your words

You didn't stay to find out what would happen now that Solomon knew the gist of what the Nobel said to you

Simeon:

As you charged away from the party you suddenly bumped into Someone

Simeon grabbed your arms as he steadied you

But that's when he noticed your teary eyes

"Oh, what's wrong? You look upset."

"I want to leave this party."

You frowned, holding his arms whilst he held you

You glanced at the demons on the dance floor

"Are you sure? The brothers will be upset with your sudden disappearance-"

You huffed

Pushing yourself away from Simeon as. got ready to just leave by yourself

"if you don't take me back then I'll just go myself."

He was caught off by your sudden change in mood

Realizing something really harsh must of happened he grabbed your hands and wiped under your eye

"Wipe your tears, I'm sure Luke will be thrilled to see you in purgatory hall."

And just like that he walked you out of ball

A few shouts from the brothers rang in your eyes but you just sped up your pace

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #gamingclubpresident #aracadejohn217 9 #obey me mc #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me beezlebub #obey me belphegor #obey me demon brothers #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me levithan #obey me luficer #obey me imagine #obey me x reader

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floralseokjin · 3 years

Text

⤑ made-up love song x (m).

Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher, never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago, and you’re unable to remember the last time you dated. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire.

Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…

pairing; kim seokjin x reader au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, romance, happy ending, jin has stubble lmao, smut; morning sex, oral sex (f receiving), soft sex, spooning, jin has a thing for boobs this saturday morn, everything gets so fluffy words; 6,243

↪︎ chapter index

chapters; i • ii • iii • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue (+ drabbles)

When you heard the doorbell ring twenty-five minutes later you were up off the sofa in seconds, heart thrumming against your ribcage as you rushed towards the entryway, a nervous kind of excitement flurrying inside your stomach. Yanking the door open, you were unable to keep the smile from your face as you saw Seokjin stood in front of you. He was dressed in sweatpants and a baggy white t-shirt which was slightly creased. His hair must have been freshly washed, soft and fluffy on top of his head, but it looked like he hadn’t shaved in a while, hints of stubble growing along his upper lip and along his jawline.

“Hi.” You were grinning by now.

“Hi,” he murmured softly, stepping forward. Immediately you found yourself in his embrace, the familiar scent of his laundry detergent welcoming. You wrapped your arms around his middle, pressing the side of your face to his chest. You felt still, relaxed for the first time in days.

Kissing the top of your head as he pulled away, he took your hands and let out a small chuckle. “I was halfway here when I realised I still had my slippers on.”

You looked down at his feet, giggling as you spotted the blue slip ons. Linking your fingers with his, you gently tugged him forward. “Do you want head to the living room?”

He nodded, letting you lead the way, and you paused by the kitchen, turning back. “Want something to drink?”

“Water, if it isn’t any trouble.” He asked. Classic Seokjin, you thought to yourself, leaving him to sit, too polite for no reason. When you came back, handing him the drinking glass he smiled and said his thanks. You sat next to him watching him take a sip and lean over to place the glass on the coffee table. You didn’t know where to start, you had so much to say, but it seemed like he had been thinking his piece over in the car ride here.

Exhaling, he turned to you with a serious expression. “Just before you say what you need to, I want to apologise.” He paused, seeing if you would let him continue, when you didn’t object he reached for your hand. “I’m really sorry for the way I acted Sunday. It was unacceptable and I’m really embarrassed you had to see me like that.” He sighed then, “I was just so... I was so mad that Nana turned up and spoke to you like she did. I let all my frustrations regarding Arin take over too.” He was staring you straight in the eyes, eager to make you see how sincere he was. “I never meant to compare you both and I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.”

“Everyone gets angry, Seokjin. Don’t feel embarrassed because of that,” you told him. “It was just jarring to see. Plus it was all so overwhelming.” He nodded in understanding and you smiled and squeezed his hand. “I appreciate your apology regarding the comparisons though.” What was done was done, but he sounded regretful. “Have you spoken to Nana since?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, averting his gaze for a split second. He sounded remorseful. “I saw her yesterday afternoon. She wanted to be with Arin this weekend so I finished work early and drove her there. Nana…” He stopped himself and started again. “I know why she was so hurt over everything. We talked it out a little. Barely touched the surface but things are headed in the right direction. I apologised to her.”

“That’s good to hear,” you said. There was no good only apologising to you. Nana deserved an apology just as much, maybe even more. You were glad they’d managed to be civil and you hoped it was a step in the right direction.

“I know Arin missed school but I called Principal Jung.” Seokjin was eager to explain himself. “I didn’t go into details of course, but he said it was okay.”

“That’s fine,” you chuckled quietly. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. It was only one day.” How cute. You didn’t take your job that seriously. At least the mystery was solved though. You had stressed over nothing. He wanted nothing more than for Arin to see her mother, regardless of what his relationship with Nana was like. This extra weekend together meant a lot to not only Arin and Nana, but him too. Harsh words had been shared in frustration and anger, but he hadn’t lost sight of what mattered the most – his daughter.

“I’m glad you talked to Nana,” you smiled, unsure how to voice all your thoughts. What mattered was he’d seen the error of his ways, and hopefully Nana had too.

He nodded sternly. “I was out of order that day.”

You grew serious too, hesitating before you said his name. You knew you had to ask him, knew you had to have this conversation, but it didn’t stop you from feeling slightly afraid. “Seokjin, why didn’t you tell her about us?”

He closed his eyes briefly, shame written all over his face, and he let go of your hand to run a hand through his hair. It draped across his forehead instantly. “I made a mistake.” He was looking straight into your eyes again, chocolate irises pooling with genuine regret. “At first I didn’t know what would happen between us. It was all brand new for me – for you. Letting Nana know was the last thing on my mind, but as things got more serious, I just…” He faltered, gaze falling to his lap. “I didn’t want to burst the bubble. I was so happy. I didn’t want anything to potentially ruin it.

“It was stupid, considering Arin could tell her at any moment. I just wasn’t thinking, I was being selfish. I understand why Nana was so hurt. I would feel the same if I found out Arin had been spending time with a man I didn’t know.” He exhaled deeply. “I took it all to heart because deep down I knew I’d done wrong.”

You appreciated his honesty. “We were definitely in a bubble. I never even thought to ask if you’d let her know. I –”

“It’s not your fault.” He was quick to tell you. “It was my responsibility and I didn’t want to do it. I regret it now and I’ve told her that. I’m sorry to you too, it wasn’t my intention to keep you a secret.”

You were quiet then, unsure what to say. You still had questions, still had things you needed to understand and as if he read your mind, he placed a gentle hand on your knee, tilting his head to watch you. “Y/N, is there anything else you want to know?”

Your fingers picked at your pyjama pants, heart beating rapidly. There was one important thing you needed the answer to, it was a dumb question, you were nearly positive, but yet you knew you needed to ask it.

“Anything you want to ask, I’ll be 100% honest with you.” He gently nudged, sensing your reluctance.

“T-this may seem stupid,” you began, finding courage. He was Seokjin, your Seokjin, he wouldn’t judge you. However, you hoped what you had to say wouldn’t hurt him. He waited patiently for you to continue. You held his gaze. “You’re not just looking for a mother figure for Arin, are you?”

His forehead crinkled in confusion, his hand leaving your knee as he processed your words. “What do you mean?”

You felt a wave of panic. “I know it sounds stupid, but I just need to know if you like me for me.”

He watched you carefully, brow line now creasing in concern. “Of course I like you for you.” And then he took your hand, lacing his warm fingers between yours. You could see the concentration on his face as he tried to find a way to word his thoughts. “I’m not looking for a mother figure, I never was. Yes, I’d love it if Arin saw her mother every day, but I’m not trying to recreate it elsewhere. I was wrong to compare you both. Nana loves Arin, I know that, she’s trying her best, and you’re…,” he took a breath, “I would never expect you to take on all that responsibility. You’re my girlfriend, I would never intentionally put all that pressure on to you.

“Y/N, I’m Arin’s father,” he continued when you didn’t reply. “She means the world to me, so knowing that she adores you makes me happy, as does knowing you adore her. I always thought dating in my position would be really hard – that’s why I never did it. Having to trust someone that much to potentially let them into my daughter’s life, that was such a frightening thought. But it wasn’t with you.” His eyes were wide, pleading as he tried to make you see. As he spoke he used his other hand to cup the side of your face, you softened into his touch.

“There were other worries too,” he continued to confess. “I thought nobody would want a divorced dad as a boyfriend. It’s fine, I understand it’s not everyone’s ideal, but with you it was never a problem. You accepted me and what my life involved and I’m not going to lie, that made me fall for you even harder but I wasn’t using you because I wanted some sort of permanent mother figure in Arin’s life. That’s absurd and it makes me really sad to know I potentially made you feel that way.”

Your chest felt lighter hearing those words. Nothing like the tight, anxious mess you had felt all week. It was good to know your worst fears weren’t true. Your doubts, even though valid, hadn’t been needed. You believed every word he said.

He lowered his hand from your face, sensing you were about to speak, and instead clutched the hands laced together in your lap. “Hearing those things you said to Nana, it made me… It overwhelmed me. Made me think that you’d been expecting too much of me this whole time, or like maybe you’d been searching for something I had no clue about.” You admitted.

You hadn’t liked being used as a weapon. It had made you feel horrifically guilty. You told him just as much, being as frank as you possibly could because he needed to hear it.

“I understand,” he nodded. “I promise I’ll never do it again. All I can give you is my word.”

“And I’ll believe it.” You told him, needing him to know something else as well. “Seokjin, I really do care about Arin. I’m beyond touched that she’s accepted me into her life but my place will always be different.”

Seokjin frowned at that. “You are still an amazing person in her life though. She’s become so much happier these past few months and I can’t deny it and say that’s not partially down to you, even if it’s just a fraction of the reason.”

You opened your mouth to disagree with him, he was being too nice, giving you too much credit, but he wasn’t having any of it. “No, Y/N. You need to hear these things. You make Arin happy too, and I think that’s a beautiful thing.” He felt you relax, smiling when he noticed you do the same. “I fell for you because of many reasons, and yes, one of them was because of how you treat Arin, but it’s not the only one.” His voice was soft as he began to make a list. You couldn’t help but giggle. “You’re sweet, caring, funny, beautiful – inside and out.”

“You’re a real charmer, hm,” you teased.

He chuckled, but grew serious once again, giving your hand a squeeze. “You could have anybody but you chose me, the man whose life is overtaken by work and is struggling to be an OK dad.”

“Seokjin, you’re an amazing father,” you scoffed. If he expected you to listen then he needed to as well. “You work so hard and you’re constantly exhausted but that doesn’t stop you from being one of the best fathers I know. You need to give yourself more credit.”

“Thanks,” he said, plump lips tugging up into a half-smile. You really wanted to kiss him, it had been long enough, so you leaned forward, pressing your mouth to his. Gentle and chaste. When you pulled back he was smiling harder. You couldn’t help but join him.

One of his hands lifted, weaving into your hair as he brought your face to his chest, the hand holding yours letting go so he could wrap his arm around your middle, holding you to him. You were both silent, content for a moment as you listened to his heart beat steadily. It comforted you, let you know that everything was okay.

“I’m sorry if I put pressure on you,” he murmured, chin resting against your hair. “It’s just when the three of us are together it feels so right. It feels natural and I love that.”

“I love it too,” you agreed, your face still pressed into his chest, your palm too. “But Nana is her mother and I don’t ever want to take her place.” You paused, slowly pulling away to look at him. “I want to make my own place. And I don’t know if that means being a stepmom so soon, but it’s definitely moving in that direction.” You’d had enough time to think about everything. You were more than serious about him. “I want a future with you, Seokjin. A future with you and Arin. You both mean a lot to me.”

His mouth slowly spread into a grin, he looked and sounded unbelievably happy. “Do you mean that?”

“Of course. I spent these past few days thinking really hard about us and what we were – what we are. I’m serious about us, and I hope you are too.”

He pulled you into another hug, kissing your forehead. “I most definitely am, but we’ll take it at your pace,” he assured, “and Arin’s pace.”

“And your pace,” you added, moving your head back to look at him, hands resting on his shoulders. “Nana’s too. She needs to be involved because no matter what, she’s still a part of your life.”

It wasn’t about just you and Seokjin, you understood that now, and so did he. “I agree. I really think yesterday was a turning point for me and her. I want our relationship to be better for not just Arin, but you too. I hate that you had to witness all that.”

“It’s okay, Seokjin. Please don’t beat yourself up about it.” He needed to let it go and move forward. You had already.

“Listen, I, er, I’m…” He hesitated, serious once again. “I’m sorry for not telling you why we divorced.”

Oh. In your happiness you’d actually forgotten about that. You waited for him to continue, wanting to hear what he had to say because it had been the source of some of your hurt. You rubbed his shoulders, wanting to encourage him as he struggled to find the words.

“It’s complicated,” he started. “…Finding out Nana had been cheating on me was what triggered the divorce, but it had been over long before then. It’s… difficult to admit this out loud but for the longest time I was embarrassed. I couldn’t believe that she’d cheated on me – it was an ego thing. I didn’t care because I no longer loved her but at the same time it was mortifying and it made me very bitter.

“I didn’t tell you because you’d trusted me with your own story. I learned how cheating had affected you and my situation was completely different. I don’t know,” he sighed, unsure if he was making any sense. “I regret it now because I should have told you.”

“I understand why you didn’t,” you said simply, attempting to process the huge chunk of information you’d just been given. “But I think, regardless of our different circumstances it still affected you in some way. There’s no right or wrong way to deal with being cheated on.” It had obviously left its mark if he was still bringing it up nearly three years later.

He still wasn’t convinced. “But Nana was right, that’s why I got so angry. I couldn’t admit it to myself, not until this week. By sleeping with someone else she gave me a way out. I didn’t want to be the one who ended it because that would mean I was the reason for Arin’s broken home. To ease my conscience I could blame the breakdown of our marriage on her.”

“Seokjin, that doesn’t make you a terrible human being. You need to let all that go,” you told him gently. “At the time you did what you thought was best for Arin. You thought by staying together it would give her a better life but it doesn’t work like that and you’ve realised that now.”

You didn’t want to stick your nose in business that wasn’t yours, but you understood what had happened. By staying together they had become increasingly bitter towards one another and the result was still ongoing. There had been a lot of hurt and that would take some time getting over.

You noticed the slight nod he gave you, a silent agreement. The sooner he accepted his mistakes the easier it would be to forgive himself. “I still should have you,” he whispered.

“That’s not important anymore,” you insisted.

“It is.” He clutched your waist, his eyes glassy. “You shared so much with me about how you got hurt, and I kept something big from you.”

You gave him a reassuring smile. “Well, I know now.” You weren’t going to hold it against him, it had obviously been playing on his mind the entirety of your relationship. “That’s all that matters.”

He relented, kissing you softly, just once, unable to help himself. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking too these past few days. I talked to my therapist. It’s been a while. I’ve just been so happy I didn’t need to until…” Trailing off he gave an embarrassed shrug.

“That’s good you got back in contact with her.” He hadn’t actually spoken about his therapist since your first date and you’d never thought much about it, but it was great that he knew to seek help when he needed it.

“We talked a couple of times about everything. It was helpful.” He rubbed your back with a soothing hand. “I really am sorry my relationship with Nana is like this. There’s a lot of bitterness and hurt left over from all the years we stayed together. Maybe the truth is we should have never gotten married in the first place. We brought out the worst in one another until in the end it turned to hate, but I can’t regret it because she gave me my world.”

“Maybe realising all this is the next step for some type of closure,” you offered. He and Nana couldn’t keep this up. They needed to get along for Arin’s sake. They had to try and salvage some type of relationship if they wanted to continue co-parenting their daughter – their world.

“I think you’re right,” he agreed. “Now that everything is out in the open I feel so much better.”

“I’m glad.” You leaned in to kiss his cheek.

“So,” he hummed, sounding a lot more like himself, “where do we go from here?”

“I think we just carry on from where we left off.” As far as you were concerned everything had been resolved. All your questions and worries had been answered. You were both on the same page now and you could move on together. “When I was waiting for you to come back with that salad.”

“Sounds perfect.” He laughed, wasting no time with kissing you, properly this time, cupping your face to bring you closer. You settled in his lap soon after, his lips soft and warm, each glide of your tongues making you realise that all you wanted to do was be with him. Always.

“There is one change I’d like to make though,” he murmured, pulling away gradually, kisses becoming gentle pecks until he had the will power to stop completely. “I was going to wait until I took you to Paris, but maybe grand gestures don’t mean shit after I thought I’d lost you.”

Your heart flipped inside your chest just from the look he was giving you, the sheer determination in his eyes, and the way he cupped your face firmly. You thought you knew what was coming.

“I love you.”

You were still speechless for a moment though, but it was okay because he was still busy confessing.

“I know it may seem too fast and I don’t want to scare you away but I’ve fallen head over heels in love with you these past few months. I can’t remember what my life was like before you appeared in it.”

“I love you, too,” you gushed, coming to. “Of course you wouldn’t scare me away. Everything you just said, I feel exactly the same way.”

“Really?”

“Yes!” You exclaimed.

“It’s not too fast?”

“Not at all,” you shook your head. You’d been worried it was at first, but you’d been upset and scared. Now everything was clear. “Actually, there’s no such thing because I’m in this 110%.”

He chuckled then, brow line crinkling in the middle. “That sure?”

“Mhmm,” you nodded enthusiastically, hands holding the back of your neck. “Thank you for reversing into my car.”

That made him snort. “It’s no problem at all, but,” he leaned forward, tone serious, “I hate to break it to you, I’m in 1010%.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, ignoring his goofiness to kiss him again. Although this time there was something you couldn’t ignore any longer. “Oh my god,” you complained, itching your lips.

“What?” He was very obviously concerned.

“Your stubble keeps pricking me!” You whined. “What is going on?” You cupped his face, getting a better look at the situation. He did look rather handsome with stubble, you admit, but you’d keep that to yourself. “A few days without me and you forget to shave.”

He raised a dark eyebrow. “Isn’t that a thing? When you think you’ve lost the woman of your dreams you have to start growing out a beard, right?”

You snorted lightly. “You’d be there for years trying to grow out that thing.”

He tutted. “Rude.”

“But what, say that again? I’m the woman of your dreams?” You teased, pressing for more.

“I take it back now,” he scoffed.

“You can’t! You’ve said it now.”

“Shush,” he laughed. “Come here.” He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. “Stop talking and let me love you.”

It took a single press of his lips for you to listen.

You were slow and still sleepy when you awoke the next morning, gradually coming to, your eyes still closed. It was raining, you could hear the soft patter of it against the window as you became more aware, but you found it didn’t hinder the good mood you’d woken up in. Why would it?

Finally opening your eyes, although with effort, a soft focus Seokjin came into view, already awake and leaning over you slightly. He smiled when you saw him, a hand caressing your hip. “Good morning, beautiful.”

You smiled back, rolling into the side of his body, making the most of your sleepy state – and your boyfriend’s warmth. “How long have you been awake?” You asked with a small yawn.

You didn’t actually remember falling asleep last night. After you’d made up (and you were done with all that kissing), you’d asked him to stay over. You’d laid in bed, wrapped up in one another as you talked about anything and everything before your eyes had started to get heavy, Seokjin’s voice and your own sounding distant in no time. And now you were here.

“A few minutes,” he murmured, morning voice always an octave lower. It never stopped being sexy. You tangled your legs in his as he laid back down and realised his were now bare – he must have gotten too warm in the middle of the night.

He cupped your face, wanting you to look at him. “I was using the time to admire you.”

“Cheesy as always,” you chuckled.

“Of course,” he agreed easily, leaning in to rub his nose against yours. “I woke up and thought last night might have been a dream.”

“It wasn’t,” you whispered, getting lost in his eyes for a moment.

“I love you.”

With a soft groan you rolled onto your back. “Not fair, I was about to say that.”

“Too bad,” he laughed, that deep morning chuckle you loved, wrapping his arm around your middle as he kissed your cheek. “You snooze you lose.”

“I wasn’t snoozing.”

“You were – and snoring. I heard you.” He was trailing kisses along your jaw now.

“You didn’t!” You exclaimed. That was something you definitely did not do. “I don’t snore, take that back!”

You attempted to wriggle out of his hold but he wasn’t having any of it, both of his hands beginning to tickle your sides. “Seokjin!” You shrieked, starting to thrust your legs but he rolled on top of you, caging your body easily.

He stilled all movement and looked down, having way too much fun teasing you. “What?”

Before you could even think to reply he was kissing you. Somewhere along the way last night you’d gotten used to the stubble, quite liking the tingle across your lips now, so you didn’t gripe this morning. Holding your face he trailed wet kisses down your throat, teeth gently sinking into your collarbone. You let out a gasp, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pushed against his body, eager for more of his mouth.

His hands soon began roaming your body, slipping under your pyjama shirt to caress your skin. His fingers delicately traced the underside of your breasts, lifting his head up to kiss your mouth once before he spoke his request. “Can I see you?”

You smiled and nodded, watching as he started to undo the buttons with expertise. When you were fully revealed he looked at you with a grin. “Woah,” he stated simply.

“You’re acting like you’ve never seen them before,” you giggled.

“I don’t know, I’m pretty sure they’ve gotten bigger.” He mused, weighing your breasts in his hands.

You snorted, mouth dropping open when he captured one of your nipples between his lips. His used his hand to palm the other breast, pinching the nipple with his fingers and you moaned, arching into his touch. Against your crotch you could feel him growing hard – rapidly.

“Take this off,” you urged, tugging at his t-shirt. Your need for him was rising too, breathing becoming unsteady as Seokjin kneeled upright and ripped the piece of clothing off. You sat up, running your hands across the muscular swell of his chest. “Yup,” you nodded to yourself, “definitely gotten bigger.”

He chuckled quietly – shyly almost, and helped you take your shirt off, kissing across your shoulder as he eased you back against the pillows. Next, he got you out of your pyjama bottoms, kissing his way back up your stomach and between the valley of your breasts as his hand slid between your legs, rubbing you above your underwear. Squirming, warmth flooding you as his mouth found yours, your tongues mashing together in haste, your arms wrapped around him, holding him tight.

He slipped his hand inside your panties and loved what he found. “You’re so wet, honey,” he murmured, playfulness in his tone as he circled your clit with the pad of finger. His touch was so light it was unbearable and you whined, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

He circled your entrance next but didn’t enter, collecting your arousal to rub your clit again. You dug your foot into the mattress, raising your hips to get more. His dick was fully erect now, pressing into your thigh, but he was in no rush, fully devoted when it came to pleasuring you. Dragging your underwear down your thighs, you helped push them off entirely, reaching for him and pulling him into a kiss, although he didn’t stay at your mouth long, kissing across your chest and down your stomach until he met his destination.

He didn’t get very far though, his hot breath making you wriggle about, thighs clamping around his head. “It tickles.”

“Tickles?” He repeated in amusement, nosing your inner thigh. He kissed your bikini line, ignoring your feeble giggles. “I’m not trying to tickle you.”

You held your breath as he placed a testing kiss against your centre, willing yourself not to squirm, but Seokjin took it slow, easing you into it, because your body had suddenly decided to turn hypersensitive in his absence. He continued to kiss your core, his tongue coming out to wash against you too, and soon enough you got used to the sensation.

“Good?” He asked against your clit, the vibrations making you flutter.

You nodded in reply, fingers of both hands reaching to tangle in his hair. He gave you a quick smile and then started to flick his tongue against the bundle of nerves rapidly, making your hips rise in shock as a moan drew from your throat. He gave you no time to recover, sucking on your clit now as he hummed in satisfaction. Body with a mind of its own, you spread your thighs, wanting to feel him even better.

He got the hint, using his hands to plant your feet on his shoulders, legs bent at the knee to open you up even wider for him. He continued to suck you softly, the tip of his tongue flicking back and forth at the same time, the stimulation so glorious you were sure you had tears in your eyes.

“Oh God, Seokjin,” you moaned as he pulled away abruptly, your head falling back against the pillow. You had been moments away from coming, you were almost positive.

He moaned himself as he licked a strip up your centre, pushing your knees higher up your body, exposing your clit even more so this time when he rolled it between his lips your hips jerked around uncontrollably, the pleasure too much. You felt him ease off but begged him not to stop, sounding possessed. “No, don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

He continued, his eyes on you as he made your legs tremble and you dug your toes into his shoulders, clutching at his hair. “You gonna cum, baby?” He husked. You whined in reply, hips rolling into his face with desperateness. “Give it to me then.” He told you, once again suctioning his lips to your clit.

Your eyes clenched shut as you concentrated on his tongue, panting loudly as the muscles in your gut tightened. Your release hit you seconds later, lifting your hips up with one last burst of energy as he continued to work his tongue against your thrumming clit, your orgasm crashing through you in waves as you cried out. It was amazing, almost euphoric if you wanted to be dramatic (you did), your whole body satisfied and warm.

Seokjin tried to ride it out as long as possible, but soon you grew sensitive, your hands detaching themselves from his hair to fall limply to your side, chest rising and falling deeply as you tried to catch your breath. He wrapped his fingers around your ankles delicately and placed your legs down on the bed before hovering over your body. He was just as out of breath, your arousal smeared across his mouth and chin, and you kissed him greedily, wanting nothing more. You could feel him rutting against you, attempting to gain just a little bit of relief, and taking pity on him you cupped his erection over his underwear, giving him a squeeze. He groaned at the sensation, breaking away from your mouth.

You started to rub him as best you could as he kneeled between your legs, watching your hand at work. He chuckled in disbelief. “You have me so hard, shit.”

“That is my area of expertise,” you gloated, pulling his dick out of his boxer shorts. You ran your fist up and down it a few times, revelling in the smooth skin, thumb circling the head that was beading with precum.

His patience was crazy this morning, enjoying the way you touched him so much he leaned in to kiss you again, panting quietly against your lips as you sped up your movements, dragging your thumb across his slit in a bid to spread his arousal. He hissed, jerking into your hand, and you just about lost it. You wanted him, no, needed him inside you. Right this instant.

You looked him deep in the eyes, your noses practically touching as you gave him a squeeze. “Make love to me, Seokjin.”

He broke then, unable to deny you or himself any longer. His underwear was gone in a flash, thick cock bobbing as he guided you onto your side, fitting in beside you perfectly. He wrapped his hand around your calf, lifting your leg over his to spread you out a little and then he angled the head of his cock at your entrance, kissing your shoulder as he slowly began to push inside you.

You closed your eyes as you felt the drag, both of you groaning as he continued to fill you, his hand pushing one of your butt cheeks up a little so he could successfully bottom out. You stayed like that for a while, kissing one another, one of his arms hooked underneath your neck, hand cupping your chin, the other caressing your body, tracing across your stomach before softly cupping your breasts. The sensation had you sighing sweetly, pushing back into him and he couldn’t hold off any longer.

He thrusted slowly, practically all the way out just to push back in, filling you up over and over. It was glorious, his rhythm eliciting moan after moan, especially as he played with your chest, rolling your hardened nipples between his fingers. You could hear yourself, how wet you were, and you rolled yourself onto your side more, pushing your ass into him in a bid to get more.

He got the message, speeding up as you reached behind and ran your fingers through his hair. He loved that, grunting as he spoke against your ear, “A little faster, baby?”

All you could do was nod and respond with a garbled noise from somewhere deep within your throat, Seokjin’s thrusts gaining momentum as he started to pound against your ass, his laboured breathing blowing hot air against your cheek. One of his hands dug into the round of your ass, his teeth sinking into your shoulder as he growled softly, thrusts purposeful, unrelenting.

“Let me see your pretty face,” he panted after a few moments, pulling you into him and cupping your jaw. You twisted yourself, half flat to his sweaty chest as you spread your legs too, letting him thrust up into you. Your breasts jiggled with the force of his movements, his tongue pushing into your mouth, kiss sloppy and everything good.

His breathing got heavier, his movements turning slightly sloppy as he adjusted your body once again so he could kiss and caress your breasts instead. A hand played with the left one as his mouth licked and sucked the right, grunts falling from his lips now as he quickly lost himself. His thrusts got harder and his teeth grazed against your nipple. When you cried out, he loved that, squeezing your boob roughly, tearing another sound from your throat as your walls clamped around him, gripping him for all he was worth.

You knew he was done for when he sought your mouth again, chuckling huskily as you pecked kisses against his plump lips. You felt his dick pulse, thrusts messy as he chased his end, and then he stilled, groaning as his orgasm hit and he started spilling warmth inside of you.

He wrapped his arms around you tightly once it was over, hugging you to his body with even more kisses, both of you panting softly, enjoying the come down. In fact, you didn’t want it to end. Gradually falling soft, he stayed buried inside you and made no attempts to slip out. If anything, he was damn determined to stay there for as long as possible it seemed.

“I love you,” you told him sweetly, sweeping some of his hair out of his eyes, still engulfed by his heat.

He smiled, practically goofy, still drunk off your lovemaking. “I love you too, of course.”

And then it was back to kissing.

You had a week’s worth to catch up on, and an entirety more to look forward to.

*BONUS*

You (10:25am) Seokjin came over last night, we talked it out and made up 😊

Soojung (10:29am) Finally! ILY and I’m so happy for you best friend! But thanks for the heads up, I’ll be giving the house a wide berth this weekend See you Monday 😘

Written 2020 - 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

#seokjin fanfic #bts fanfic #bts smut #seokjin smut #fic:mls #floralseokjin:writings

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satorinnie · 3 years

Text

- dark phoenix. | prologue

+ gojo satoru x sorcerer!reader

+ synopsis: in the search for what’ll free her from the grasps of a curse, y/n finds herself entangled with the lives of gojo satoru and three jujutsu students that might very well be either her benediction, or damnation.

+ notes: this is a story that i slightly started writing in wattpad and i decided to shorten the story and post it on tumblr instead. if you know most of my series than you’ll know i focus more on main plot than romance; this fic is no different. so before you start, know that although it will contain romance between the reader and gojo, it will be inferior to the main story plot.

+ will contain manga spoilers about geto suguru

+ taglist: open

+ answered asks: #series ; dark phoenix

2009

Blood.

It coated the ground you walked on, bathing the end of your kimono in its dark tint as you made your way through a village in disarray. Just a gaze of the debris and dead bodies was enough to resemble a Renaissance tragedy painting right in front of your eyes; it's as if you could hear their cry of mercy. It's a sight you don't mind seeing. It was up to society's probing eyes to decide whether that was fortunate or unfortunate. Nonetheless, you may have had a sinking feeling since ripped bodies and dead children did not elicit a sense of dread from you.

Time and experience sure as hell managed to mold you into the perfect human being.

Nonetheless, what you are witnessing now was trivial compared to all other matters you have seen and experienced.

The metallic smell of blood was quite heavy in the air, and it just managed to catch your attention as the scent that lingered in the air with it was making you realize what exactly you stepped into.

Sorcerers.

The answer that appears to be at the root of every single disaster you've witnessed. Finally taking a good look at your surroundings, it bemused you that it took you this long to form an answer. Even if you weren't there to see this in action, you could feel the events that occurred from beginning to end. It was also painfully clear that this was the work of a special-grade sorcerer; no average shaman had this much power. The person had the scent of their cursed energy practically strewn throughout the landscape.

It disturbed your state of mind.

It was overwhelming.

You hated it.

Did you miss coming back home to sights like these? No, you didn’t.

It was a shame that souls of the dead were unfortunate enough to play a role in these nauseating incidents caused by disgusting beings like curses and power-hungry false deities (that’s what you liked to call the rotten hearts who assumed themselves to be gods).

You peered up at the still intact sakura trees, which were shedding their old, worn-out skin in the form of powder pink blooms, their petals settling on your traditional black kasa.

You wore an amused smile on your face, feeling like you were standing under the sole solitary place in the depths of hell. Perhaps the guilty shaman felt the same way when he looked over at his masterpiece with pink petals adding a soft little touch.

What a lovely feeling it must’ve been; to be proud of your own work, or even yourself.

It’s a feeling you never knew, a foreign one; for only the gods knew the heavy burdens and regrets you carried on your shoulders. Your clear skin bears more scars than humanly possible.

Despite how much you’ve tried to strip yourself away of the world you belonged in, wishing to erase your existence from the old tales of history, the jujutsu world has always found a way to reel you back in with its sharp claws. It has always been a chaotic reality.

Nonetheless,you embraced that reality, for it was the one you were unfortunate enough to grow up in. You spend your days surrounded by your own kind, and despite your overall dislike for them, there were always exceptions along the road. You encountered quite a few people who attempted to emancipate themselves from the system by rioting bravely. They were seen as villainous by the blind jujutsu society, but you always recognized them as the true hero of the story.

It’s been long since you met another, the little flicker of hope within you was on the verge of going out. Perhaps this specific shaman could light it again. “Hm, Geto Suguru. Perhaps you’ll join my name in the history books.” You whispered into the silent breeze, the same amused smile still on your face.

So, did you really miss being back home? Maybe. Who knows?

“This is the ninth one; you have one more to collect Y/n. It’s almost over.”

You were currently inside the Ise Grand Shrine, having your usual scheduled conversation with the head priestess Fujino Akemi; the woman whose family guided you for decades. She had her dark brown locks tied neatly into a bun and face bare from any makeup. She, like her entire family, was a natural beauty. Fujino's grin could brighten whatever room she entered, and even your dark emotions were lifted when she smiled with her dimples showing. She was your lone confidante when it came to your tale and objective.

A curse so cryptic that it required the intervention of the most powerful priests to be lifted, and even that took time. It's a hassle, forcing you to acquire ten stones dispersed over seven continents; it's a literal treasure hunt. Each stone you found was linked to another, and Fujino provided you the locations by delving into the cursed energy housed in the stones. It would generally offer an area, and if you were lucky, a specific country. Fortunately, the more data you collect, the more accurate the results.

“When will it show the next one's location?”

“Give or take a month. Don’t worry, this is the last one.” Fujino Akemi offered you a gentle smile as she moved the Herkimer diamond to place it with the other stones. She stretched her arms over her head as she got comfortable in her seat with a glass of tea in her right. “How do you feel about your return?”

“It astounds me how nothing manages to change over time. I even found another village slaughtered to death; exactly like last time.” You sighed, twisting your neck to relieve the tension. “Another one? How recent did it seem?”

“So recent that I already know the name of the guilty sorcerer.” You grumbled. “Mind telling me who?” Fujino sat straighter with her legs crossed, her usual serious expression adorning her face.

“Geto Suguru. The sorcerer you told me about before my arrival.”

She tensed at the sound of his name, the reality that a foe she got to meet was now an enemy of the system. “That’s unfortunate.” She released a heavy breath, “He was a very promising sorcerer, second next to Gojo Satoru. I’m sure he’ll be devastated when he hears the news.”

“Whatever, he should’ve picked better friends.” You sipped your tea. You didn't care about what was going on in the jujutsu world; it wasn't your business to begin with; the only thing on your mind was your goal and completing it as fast as possible. Moreover, why should you be sympathetic to a system that has subjected you to both mental and physical torment? For what it's worth, they deserved to have their principles and beliefs destroyed and trampled on because that's the only way things would begin to change. And, in some sick twisted manner, you thought Geto Suguru was a ray of hope in the darkness.

You hoped Suguru wouldn’t mind being painted as the villain in the books by your side, cause you sure as hell wouldn’t mind it; a little company would be good.

+ @rafzaha @quirklessidiots-trashdump @persephoonne @imkumichan @ackeruser @sidehub

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ultimateluckystudent-writes · 3 years

Text

Restraint

Summary: You and Nagito's flirtations are sickening. Izuru still sees himself as a cure. As per usual, he only makes things worse.

Word count: 5.2k

Content Warnings: Uneven Power Dynamics, Under-Negotiated Kink, Possible Dubcon, Dom/Sub, Spanking, Bondage, Choking, Mentions of Sickness, Degradation, Slut Shaming, Sex As 'Punishment', Slight Breeding Kink, Orgasm Denial, Female Reader, She/Her Pronouns

General Themes/Tags: Despair!Era, Despair!Reader, Sub!Reader, Sub!Nagito, Dom!Izuru, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism

Ao3 Link

A/N: Reader is a slut and Komaeda's a freak what can I say... also I'm sorry for doing this before requests but no I'm not I'm busy writing smut <3

Izuru found that there was indeed a certain kind of beauty to the handiwork of his knots. The candy-apple red rope, the color of the ruined sky, the color of his chemically altered eyes, the color of her nails, the color of despair, looked rather fetching when tied around Nagito’s pale wrists. His green-blue veins ran under it, visible through his sickly, translucent pale skin. Izuru could smell the cancerous cells on his breath alone. Just like a dog! A voice in his head that sounded just like hers sounded. Just like a dog, his own voice repeated.

“Enoshima tells me that your… indecision and cowardice..." Izuru droned as he circled around the uncomfortable, between the wooden chair Nagito was bound to and the edge of bed (Y/N) sat on. Unlike the rest of the ‘rooms’ the rest of the Despair were afforded in their base, which were really much more like modified holding cells, Izuru’s room was fitted with a regular queen-sized bed with threadbare sheets. He didn’t mind the sheets, but he wouldn’t have minded staying in a holding cell like the rest of them either. He wouldn’t have minded any of it.

“Has affected the operations of all of the Despair.” He glowered down at them, the shadows on his face looming even darker from their seated positions. Izuru caught her hands fidgeting in her lap, and how Nagito’s ever-twitching leg began to bounce even faster. “How pathetic.” He said of both their actions and reactions. The woman flinched visibly. Nagito’s leg stilled. “You are both acting like children. Simpering after each other expends so much of your time that you’ve managed to become even more useless to us than before as you fail to complete assigned tasks.” He crossed the room to stand right in front of (Y/N). Though all of his steps were light- in the way only the Ultimate Assassin, or Spy, or Ninja, and or the countless other multitudes of titles he fit aptly could be- or rather, perhaps because of this, both of their throats bobbed with a heavy swallow.

“Therefore,” His voice was quiet, but in the otherwise silent room, his two captives could hear him clearly. He placed his hand on her cheek. It was such a foreign movement from him, so calm, so sudden, that she almost gasped from it alone. It was much warmer than she expected. She realized as he stood over her, his well-fitted suit accentuating the already sharp angles of his perfect posture, his clothes heavy with the smoky scent of the fires blazing outside, his eyes indecipherable, that he was so much warmer than she expected. He thought idly that he could name every muscle in her face that tensed under his fingers. “You have been left to my discretion.”

“Ah, of course!” Nagito finally gushed, breaking the tension between the other two at once. Both of their heads snapped to look at the shaking, beaming man. He seemed to be enamoured with simply the prospect. His arms twitched and pulled at his bonds, but he had no intention of attempting escape. He merely forgot in his excitement that he could not hold himself. “I see no fate fitting more for my dearest- to be left to the hands of the Ultimate Hope- to be graced with Kamukura-sama’s presence, his touch-” He uttered a little moan, his eyes fluttering for just a bit. “For him to have already tied me up like the pathetic little vermin I am… He could truly do as he wishes with us...” Nobody in the room was surprised at his reaction, however, (Y/N) was a bit amused that he had shown his true colors as a fanatic quite so quickly. “Whatever despair he induces can only be overcome by the hope you two inspire by nearly being around me!” His eyes finally seemed to focus back onto his lover. They seemed to warm just by looking at her, a detail that sent an unfamiliar rush through her. If he had looked at her before, she had only just noticed, and was still unused to such… vulnerability nowadays. She quickly looked away. “I can only imagine what you must be feeli-”

“Enough.” Izuru finally snapped. Nagito silenced at once. He immediately schooled his expression into one of subtle pleasure. His naturally heavy-lidded eyes seemed almost heated in the particular situation. “This inane drivel is precisely the sorts of issues we’ve been having,” Izuru finally brought up his other hand, which contained an identical rope to the one wrapped around Nagito’s wrist like the perfect present. “And you’ve done little to end it.”

(Y/N) found that she had trouble looking at the red of Izuru’s eyes or the rope in his hands. Both cultivated more of the sickening feeling in her gut, the overwhelming dread that conjured images of Izuru idly pressing his foot down onto her fingers holding the edge of a cliff, supporting both her and Nagito’s weight. It felt like bile rising in her throat, only creeping further as she caught glances of either. As Izuru held the rope in front of her face, a wordless taunt, she refused to break her gaze. She wanted to rot in the feeling.

“Turn.” Izuru ordered. She knew at once it would be the first of many tonight. Though she had watched Izuru carefully as he bound Nagito, it was nothing compared to how despair-inducing it was to feel her miniscule chances of escaping reduce to less than nothing. Her breathing grew heavier as she felt those sure hands tie one knot, then two, then three, until she purposefully lost count of how many loops there were around her wrists. Every time his knuckles brushed against her arms, her pulse points, she wondered more and more if it was truly an accident. She had never known the Ultimate Hope to be capable of accidents. When he finished, the silence rang heavy in her ears. She had foolishly half-expected to hear praise, to hear the words ‘good girl’ fall from his lips.

“Pathetic.” He repeated instead, sending both her and Nagito’s teeth deeper into their own lips. She felt it deeply, kneeling on the bed, her back to the man she knew held her life in his hands, the man she cared for so deeply privy to every little thing that would be done to her without being able to do anything. The feeling in her stomach had begun to sink lower and lower, though it felt much more heated. She was a fool, but not a naive one. Izuru always knew what he was doing, including what tone he was setting. She felt her own legs begin to shake. “I’m sure by now the two of you understand where this is going. Bend over.”

She obliged like it was second nature. She obeyed like it might as well have been her own thoughts asking. She bent over and stuck her ass up and face into the mattress, right in front of Izuru, with a speed that surprised most of the room. Izuru, however, remained unfazed. He almost seemed to expect it. Her whole body felt hot, displayed like this for Izuru and subsequently Nagito. She knew he could see her panties he could see below her short skirt. She’d taken to wearing much skimpier clothes recently, especially when she began her… affair with Nagito. Despite herself, she wondered if he enjoyed them. He wouldn’t have been the first. She liked it when it was hard for people to touch her without coming in contact with her skin.

“Let this serve as a reminder to the both of you.” Izuru said behind her. She wondered how much closer he’d have to get to feel the vibrations of his deep voice. “None of you have any room for affection in you. You wouldn’t be with our association if you could. You saw how easily she bent over for me. You’re nothing special, Komaeda, she would take it from anyone if she could.” He paused. She didn’t even get to wonder why before her head was grabbed and roughly turned to the side so she was looking directly at Komaeda. His face was flushing, beginning to turn the red color of so many things around him, giving into the situation. Though his mouth was slightly agape as he took the scene before him, he seemed to be at a complete loss for words. She’d never seen him like this before. “Do you see how aroused he is at this? How eager he was for me? He’s much the same. You two are, for lack of a better word, whores. Easy-” He didn’t get to finish his sentence, as both of the other two released small moans at his words. (Y/N) thighs clenched as she tried her hardest not to back her eager body back up against him. Nagito rocked his own back and forth, attempting to find friction against his growing erection. Izuru sighed. “Precisely.”

With no other warning, he shoved her panties down her hips. A string of her slick connected them for just a second, quickly severed with no regard from Izuru. Nagito stopped rocking. He stared, mouth agape, at her now exposed pussy. She couldn’t even tell him to stop looking. She didn’t want him to stop looking. Behind her, she heard the familiar sound of a belt unbuckling. Once again, instinct took over, and she spread her legs further for him. The fabric of his pants and underwear rustled as he pulled them down just enough to pull his cock out and stroke it.

“Wow.” Nagito muttered, looking all for the world like he didn’t even realize he was doing it. “Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow- t- to bear witness to this- to-”

“You will speak only when spoken to from here on out, Komaeda.” Izuru said without even looking up at him. Nagito swallowed hard. Behind his chair, he pulled ever so slightly at his restraints. Izuru rubbed the head of his cock up and down her lips, spreading her slick around. (Y/N)’s head finally dropped back down, looking away from Nagito, as she tried hard to not let any more noises escape her. Even if she knew Izuru could feel her desperate arousal in her heavy breathing, the way she wiggled and pressed into him, her fingers trembling in front of him, she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of letting it consciously escape her mouth.

“Be honest, (L/N)...” Izuru’s words were so gentle and soft that she knew at once that whatever sharp insult he would throw at her would make up for it. “Tell Komaeda about every Remnant’s cock and fingers you’ve had in your pussy.” She gasped at once, her eyes widening, but as the focus fell heavy on what she would say next, denial escaped hers. She could feel Komaeda’s eyes on her, but she couldn’t even bring herself to look into his eyes. Guilt and shame that she had never felt about her previous dalliances before were searing in her stomach. “Not to mention the people you’ve taken on the outside.” All the while, his cock continued to move back and forth over her hole, never pressing any further. Teasing her, seeing how much she could take. “How many?” He asked rhetorically. “Two dozen? More?”

The enticing idea that it was Izuru’s cock didn’t escape her. It was one of the many details that had made her so wet so quickly. She couldn’t believe that someone so singularly powerful and superhuman was even giving her thought. She couldn’t believe that he had taken the time to notice how big of a slut she was. Nagito wasn’t alone in his obsession with Izuru, she was merely better at hiding it.

“What does it matter?” She spat. A cruel smirk that only Nagito could see crossed her face. “Angry they got to me before you d-” She was interrupted as Izuru’s swift hand came down to firmly squeeze the sides of her throat, literally choking her on her words. Her labored, raspy breathing echoed through the room at once. Next to them, Nagito whimpered, but continued to bite his tongue. Under furrowed brows, his eyes flicked quickly between Izuru’s unyielding face and his hand around her throat. Nonetheless, his smile remained on his face.

“You’re actually less insufferable when you’re just moaning.” Izuru noted. Her eyes rolled back into her head, but she couldn’t do much else. The press of those sure hands was incessant. “I might begin to see why you seem so eager to be reduced to that state so often.” He lowered his mouth by her ear, but his voice was just loud enough to let Nagito hear. “I wouldn’t recommend boring or annoying me. We wouldn’t want me to push you too far past your limits, would we?” His vice-like grip only tightened. Though she could still breathe a bit, every second he held her was a second she became closer and closer to melting like putty in his hands. Beside them, Nagito groaned, deep in his throat, at the idea of pushing her past her limits. Too many thoughts were beginning to swirl in his head, and not having anything or anyone touching him to quell it was only making it worse. Kamukura finally released her. She took a deep breath in and coughed a bit. Izuru’s focus went back to her now soaking pussy.

“Now, as I was saying, the only difference between Komaeda and all of your previous conquests is how… inexperienced he is. That, and his crumbling mental state, means he’s developed quite an obsession with you. Isn’t that right, Komaeda?”

“Yes!” Komaeda practically barked, words bursting out of him like a damn. “Yes, yes, I would devote my body to her so willingly- she’s extraordinary, the- the idea of touching her? The idea of her wanting me,” he rambled, drool finally beginning to spill out of his lips in his practically cross-eyed fervor. His chest heaved with his panting. “Oh, it fills me with such an incredible feeling!” He cried. “I selfishly desire her every day, every moment-”

“Enough.” Izuru sighed. Nagito’s lips couldn’t even shut this time. He moaned once more at the sight and his ideas, hips rocking quickly. “You like the attention. It shows. Look how easy it is for me to take her.” At once, his cock stopped teasing her, and finally sunk in. She yelped loudly at the sudden, intense feeling as Izuru quickly and completely filled her. Her walls squeezed around him, beckoning him to stay as his cock kissed the deepest parts of her. Between the look on her face and Izuru’s hands on his lover’s hips, Nagito couldn’t contain himself anymore.

“What an amazing opportunity this is! What a once-in-a-lifetime chance,” he panted. “To watch hope himself and my love together so intimately… ah, you must think I’m so perverted.” Despite his tone, Nagito’s face remained stuck in a blissed out expression, belaying his enjoyment at his self-degradation. “To be enjoying this so… I’m filthy...” He moaned. There was a pause, for just a moment. His tone changed slightly, but it so happened that Nagito was trapped in a room with the only two people in the world who would be able to tell. “Though… some might call it perverted for you to be doing this at all, Kamukura-sama.”

“Are you... insulting me, Komaeda?” Though he didn’t look back over at Nagito, Izuru punctuated his words with his first thrusts into (Y/N). Her noises were muffled by the mattress, and though the tension in the room eased a bit with it, it still hung heavily above her head between the two men.

“Lowly scum like me? Insult you? I would never dream of it, Kamukura-sama.” Nagito smiled cheerfully. Despite his words, the look that he gave Izuru was not with his usual reverence. Izuru’s own eyes narrowed, rolling the emphasis on his words over in his head. With no other words, Izuru’s hands gripped (Y/N)’s hips tighter until the whites of his knuckles were visible and he was sure there would be bruises the next morning.

"Let me make myself clear. This is only for my relief." He punctuated his words with a particularly rough, deep thrust. A broken keen spilled forth as he bottomed her out. "Both from the constant whining and drivel from the two of you... but yes, also sexually." He tangled his hand in her hair. "Unfortunately, my body is that of a teenager’s. It... is filled with hormones that make my body want to breed." He pulled a bit on her hair. She moaned gutturally, fighting with herself to arch into and out of the feeling. His eyes flicked up to meet Komaeda's. "Komaeda, you would not believe how... exquisite she feels... how warm and inviting she is..." Izuru’s lip twitched into the ghost of a smirk. Nagito didn't miss it, he didn’t miss anything. His eyes eagerly drank in every detail of the two of them entwined.

"St- stop talking about m- me like I'm n- not here." She managed, gasping around every other word. Izuru hummed, like he was considering her words, before shoving her head back down harshly into the mattress. His other hand came down in a ruthless slap to her ass, making her gasp, both for air and in surprise. Her hands clenched around nothing behind her back.

"I've got no need to differentiate how I talk to your face from behind your back." Though his face did not change, his tone held a bit of smugness. It was the only indication that what had left her a panting, moaning mess had any effect on him, besides the slight dampness to his brow. "And this is not so much about you as it is about Komaeda." Once more, his tone carried more of his annoyance than usual. "He is incessant. Obsessive. Possessive. And over all a hindrance to the operations of the Despair in his pathetic desire. I was hoping tonight would see a folly to that… but he’s as worked up over you as ever.”

For a second, (Y/N) and Nagito caught each other’s eyes. Arousal that made her clit throb washed through her as she took in the look in his eye. She had never known Nagito to be possessive, as Izuru had claimed. In fact, he often turned down situations that might lead to being in her presence, citing that she deserved better. However, the completely captivated and hungry look would have made anyone feel like they were his. Even without his words or touch, she felt marked as his. Her noises grew even louder. The pride in his eyes, like she was a beloved toy he was showing off, was almost too much.

Izuru didn’t miss this. All at once, he stopped moving, though he was still buried deep inside her. She whined wordlessly, causing him to deliver another hard slap to her ass. She whimpered quietly at it, clenching around his cock, but said nothing else.

“If you’d like to look at each other so badly, so be it.” His voice was even angrier now. If she didn’t know any better, she would say that it almost sounded like Izuru was growing frustrated with the two of them. She couldn’t tell why though. Izuru finally removed his tie and jacket. Most of his clothes remained on, as the motion was not taxing to him in the slightest, but he felt a bit hot under the collar now. He figured it had to do with her body heat. She was very warm.

He pulled out of her and wordlessly picked her up to turn her and face her towards Nagito. She silently thanked the fact that her hands were tied up for once, since it meant it would be hard to pick her head up and look at him constantly. But as Izuru sunk into her once more, one hand gripped the rope binding her hands and the other her shoulder. He leaned down to speak to her.

“Seems you’re lucky as well.” He murmured to her. Her eyes were wide in surprise. Even as Izuru spoke to her, both of their gazes remained fixated on Nagito. She could feel his hot breath on the shell of her ear. It made her shiver as he held her close. “I’m not so bored I feel the need to hold you by the hair.” He considered her for a moment. Her hands were pressed up against his firm stomach. He felt so solid and tall and imposing behind her. Though he was ruthless and unforgiving in his motions, she also knew he could have done much, much worse had he wanted to. The way he took control of her so quickly, so unquestionably so, was what she had been craving from someone every time she had been with someone else.

She finally realized what he was doing. He was showing both of them that she didn’t need to seek another person to give her what she wanted- didn’t need to seek Nagito to give her what she wanted- because he, and only he, could give it to her.

At once, Izuru picked up speed again. She cried out, her fingers scrabbling at the buttons of his shirt, pulling him close, pulling him closer. The sudden roughness made her cry out, the noises broken by each slam of his hips against hers. She could feel the smooth fabric of his pants, still on him, every time he buried himself in her. His hair began to fall down from behind her, brushing her shoulders and sides, tickling her with their silky softness. For a moment, the mischievous thought of pulling it crossed her mind, before she remembered once more that she was tied up at his mercy.

Her eyes focused on Nagito. He was moaning and mumbling to himself, looking lovestruck and animalistic with his wild eyes and hair. She couldn’t quite hear him over her own noises and Izuru’s breathing by her ear. He was leaning forward as much as he could, taking everything in raptly. She could see his erection pressing hard against his jeans, but he seemed to have completely forgotten about it, at least for a bit.

“Fuck!” She hissed, shutting her eyes tight just to get a bit of respite from the onslaught of pleasure she’d been feeling. “Fuck, fuck, fuck yes!”

“Make use of that mouth without foul language. Tell me, is this pleasurable to you?” Izuru asked, but the gentle, dangerous voice he was affecting was strained now. She squeezed her thighs together, in an unconscious attempt to receive friction on her clit, but she was rewarded instead with a quiet moan from Izuru.

“Y- Yes, Kamukura-sama!” You nodded weakly. In the greatest surprise of your night, you heard him laugh for just a second behind you. Quietly, more of a snicker than anything, but a laugh nonetheless. It was a low, smug noise.

“Mmm. Now admit to both of us, that even with me fucking you right now, you’d rather have Komaeda’s cock.” He demanded, making Nagito’s hips jerk up. “Isn’t that right?”

“Yes! It- It is!” You longed desperately to reach out to Nagito, just to feel him, just to touch him, but you were beginning to understand the true reason Izuru had tied both of your hands behind your back.

“Then say it.”

“I’d rather have your cock, Komae- ah- Komaeda-kun!” She practically shouted. Izuru began slamming into her harder when she’d gotten to saying Komaeda’s name. The irony didn’t escape her, that although it was Nagito’s name she was crying, it was Izuru that was making her feel that way. Nagito was always hard to read, but although she couldn’t tell exactly what he was thinking about, he was enamoured nonetheless.

“I think we’re well past the point of formalities, (Y/N).” Her first name sounded heavenly on his lips. “Go ahead and try again.”

“I want y- you, Nagito!”

“Yes, yes, yes, yes!” Nagito was panting and squirming almost more than she was. It seemed he’d found a rhythm grinding up against his own pants and thighs. His eyes rolled up. “A- again, please, please, please!” He begged, knowing that he was taking a risk by speaking once more. She opened her mouth, but all that fell from it was a squeal as Izuru spanked her with the hand previously holding the rope.

“I made myself clear, Nagito.” Izuru practically purred as he spanked her again and again. She jumped with every one, but she loved the sting regardless. Each one made her feel a little more used, a little more worthless as anything but a toy for the two men. Nagito didn’t like seeing her hurting, but it pleased something deeply sadistic in him, and he wasn’t the one doing it. The friction was barely enough, but he was getting close.

“I- Izuru! Please, please, please…” She pleaded, beginning to rock herself back against his cock sloppily, not in time with his thrusts.

“Hold still.” He practically growled, smacking her once more before digging his fingers back into her waist. She almost couldn’t take it anymore.

“Izuru, please, my- my clit- please, please!”

“Would you like me to touch you properly so you can finish?” Izuru practically purred. She nodded, noises like sobs escaping her mouth. Izuru laughed once more. The hand on her shoulders let go, sending her falling back into the mattress, before he was gathering her hair and pulling her head up once more. “Stupid little girl. You really thought I had no punishment in store for you?” He continued to slam into her, leaving her too mindless to even respond. He was all-encompassing- she could smell him, feel him around and in her, hear only his voice- but all she could see was Nagito, practically on the edge of his seat, getting off to her abuse. “You really think you’re going to cum? How pathetic. You two are suited for each other. If you’re going to cum you’re going to cum from my cock alone. But as much of a dumb slut as you are, I don’t really think you can do that, so you’ll just take it while I finish inside you. After all, my body still wants you bred.”

“W- Wait!” You choked out. Although the smallest part of you that still retained thought worried about what he was saying, the louder part had flooded with a fresh wave of pleasure and arousal at his words. He made no move to pause, but you didn’t have anything else to say. In front of you, you could tell Nagito was close as well, beginning to heave breaths that sounded like laughs. He was sweating, heated by the jacket he was still wearing, but it seemed like the least of his concerns. His noises were high, breathy, and pleading. More than anything he wanted to touch, to feel anything but the confines of his own jeans, but instead he watched helplessly as another man threatened to finish inside his beloved.

Izuru finally began making quiet grunts of his own right in her ear. They were deep and animalistic, something she never thought she would hear from Izuru. However, as he began nearing his edge, his noises only grew more similar in desperation to that of the other two. For just a moment, all three could be heard finding their own pleasure, before Nagito threw his head back with a sobbing noise and climaxed first, emptying into his own underwear. He wished desperately that he was the one in her, even alongside Izuru.

The other two now took their own turn watching Nagito as he finished, their eyes focused on his trembling, his white locks falling back, the way he rutted into the air in his desperation. Izuru’s orgasm took even him by surprise as he watched, and he seated himself in her fully with a loud groan as he filled her up even more. Her noises now sounded broken and pathetic, pleasure overriding her thought process as she let him empty within her without fuss. When he was sure the last of it was inside her, he finally pulled out and set her carefully down on the bed. She didn’t even complain about the loss, since she could still feel his seed dripping out of her twitching core.

She felt his hands on her wrists, which she had grown accustomed to, before realizing that he was undoing his knots. In a couple of tugs, his work came undone, and he laid the rope down next to her. She still couldn’t find the energy to sit up. He then moved around her and to Nagito, still recovering from his own orgasm. Nagito smiled weakly at him. Izuru took Nagito’s hair into his hands, but didn’t pull.

“Clean me up.” He ordered. Nagito seemed shocked, but didn’t waste time. He wrapped his lips around Izuru’s cock, still slick with his cum and her natural lubricant, and began to lick it clean. He moaned and his eyes fluttered shut like it was the most wonderful thing he had ever tasted. Izuru’s nose wrinkled a bit from overstimulation. Nagito’s pink lips moved back and forth hypnotically over Izuru, until finally, he tugged him off with a ‘pop’. He nodded curtly, and tucked himself back away in his pants. Nagito licked his lips, from which drool had begun to escape him again. Izuru moved behind the chair and undid Nagito’s knots before going to redress in his tie and jacket. “Clean up your mess.”

He turned slightly away from the two, listening as Nagito quickly got to the bed, he assumed to tend to her. He looked back when he finished, realizing she was moaning once more. Instead of attempting to help her sit up or speaking to her, Nagito was kneeling between her legs, lips around her pussy, eyes dutifully closed and hands behind his back. Izuru quickly leaned over and grabbed Nagito by the collar of his shirt, pulling him away from his task.

“I told you she’s not to cum.” Izuru growled. “You’ve already gone against my wishes by finishing yourself-”

“My sincerest apologies, Kamu- Izuru.” Nagito’s head was bowed respectfully. “I truly meant only to help put your seed back into her.” His eyes flicked up to meet Izuru’s. They were not filled with the subservience his posture suggested, but instead flickered with his own machinations. “Who better to be filled with your cum than her? The despair of breeding her during such a time means nothing compared to the hope your progeny would bring! If I’m blessed with the taste of the aftermath of your intimate act in the process... well, that’s just my luck.” He practically giggled. “I suppose I’d merely gotten used to not using my hands.” Despite his mad words, Izuru expected something of the sort from him. He sighed, and let go of his collar.

“I’m leaving now. I expect not to see either of you in my room when I return. Let this be the last time we must have this… discussion.” Izuru said, making his way to the door. “Next time,” He paused in the frame. “I won’t be so kind.” With one last nod to the two of them, he shut the door behind him.

*****

A/N: I'm not sorry, except that this is my first time writing something like this w/ three characters so I know it jumps around a lot but eh here you are! Love, love

#nagito komaeda #izuru kamukura #nagito x reader #izuru x reader #danganronpa #dr2 #restraint #bunnywrites

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bitch-for-bo · 3 years

Text

Forever (Kageyama x chubby reader) (possessive Kageyama)

POST TIMESKIP

Kageyama is possessive. Rightfully so though, every where you went you attracted, no, demanded attention. You were beautiful, inside and out. And many days Kageyama wondered just how he was lucky enough to have been the one to catch your attention. You were his world, his angel, and whenever someone else tried to entertain the thought of being with you, he wasn't happy.

So sometimes he needed to show you that he belonged to you, and that you belonged to him.

ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS ALLOWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You watched as his chest rose and fell steadily with exertion. The sweat on his forehead was clearly visible and you could tell that his body was beginning to grow exhausted. You loved seeing this, everything about him when he was like this oozed power, from the way he stood, with his feet planted firmly with his muscular arms extended above him, to the look of overwhelming concentration on his face.

Your fiancé only got like this when he was playing volleyball, or when he was making love to you. It wasn’t something that he allowed others to see, saving it exclusively for his volleyball team and his loving partner. No one else got to see him like this because while it was when he was most concentrated, it was also when he was most vulnerable. When he played volleyball, he wore his feelings on his sleeve. It was as if he was trying so hard to control his physical state, that his emotions were left completely exposed.

Most days, this kind of passion on his face and in his movements, had the ability to take your breath away, and today was no different. The way that he practically glided across the court reminded you of a panther. You looked away, you could feel your body heating up as you watched Tobio play and the last thing you needed was to get aroused. You were here today to watch his practice and be a supportive girlfriend, nothing more nothing less.

Of course, the only person on the all-Japan team that knew you were Tobio’s partner, was Hinata, Kageyama’s volleyball partner and best friend (Besides you of course). Seeing as they were best friends, Tobio hadn’t been able to keep you a secret for very long. It had only been a month into the two of you dating when Hinata had finally figured it out, and you reckoned that you would’ve been found out slightly faster if it was anyone other than Hinata.

Seeing as only Hinata knew, Tobio had asked you to keep the PDA to a minimum. It’s not that he was embarrassed to be with you, very much the opposite. He felt that if his teammates knew of your existence, your beauty and naturally charismatic personality would draw them in much closer than he would allow any of them to be. You had decided to oblige because while it was sometimes fun to rile Tobio up, you really didn’t want to deal with his possessive side at the moment.

As soon as you had calmed down slightly, you looked back to the court to find that all of the players were now laying on the gym floor stretching. You decided that it would probably be okay if you walked down the bleachers and waited near the gym doors, it’s not like you were going to disturb the already-over-practice.

As you walked down the stairs, your eyes caught Hinata’s, who was currently leaning onto Kageyama as he sat on the gym floor, assisting him as he stretched.

“Look! It’s Y/N!” he shouted, one of his hands leaving Kageyama’s back as he reached up and waved to you, a bright smile taking over his face.

You smiled and waved back, hoping that his comment wasn’t loud enough to draw the attention of either the coaches or the other players. You really didn’t need the extra attention or even possibly a scolding.

Down on the court, Kageyama reached up behind him to swat Hinata on the back of the head, causing the redhead to let out a surprised yelp and glare down at his friend.

“Shh,” Kageyama hissed, “I don’t want anyone knowing about my relationship you dumbass.” His voice was hushed yet didn’t lack his usual biting tone.

“Why?” Hinata asked, his curiosity causing him to completely forget about the fact that Kageyama had just hit him. “They would love Y/N!” He beamed.

The first time that Hinata had met you, he could think nothing other than the thought that Kageyama had struck the lottery with you. You were everything that anyone could ever want. You had a sweet, patient personality (necessary to deal with Yama’s awkwardness and mood swings), you were incredibly smart, and to top it all off, you were one of the most gorgeous women that Hinata had ever seen.

Hinata remembered exactly what you were wearing the first time that he’d met you. It was during the summertime, it was actually at the wedding of one of Hinata and Kageyama’s mutual friends. Hinata could remember how Kageyama had reacted when they found out that each quest was encouraged to bring a plus one. He had been shocked that Kageyama had been so calm about the situation, usually, his best friend would freak out at the thought of having to plan out having a guest with him. As soon as Kageyama had simply agreed with the plus-one invitation, Hinata had known something was up, and pretty soon, Kageyama told him about you and told him that he’d be able to meet you at the wedding.

It was a summer wedding and it was outdoors. You had chosen to wear a very simple, light lilac summer dress. You were always careful when you went to weddings to follow the proper etiquette, not wearing a color too close to white, matching the dress with nude heels that were no higher than 2 inches. Unfortunately, you had never been a small woman so even in 2-inch heels you ended up towering over the bride. Luckily, you only saw her when Kageyama went to greet his friend and congratulate him.

It had been almost sunset when Hinata had met you, and with all of the times that he himself had been compared to the sun, he couldn’t help but see you as the purest definition of the star. The way that the orange-pink sky lit up your face as Kageyama introduced you to him, nearly left him breathless. That along with the way that your light, flowy dress hugged and accentuated your breasts and hips, managed to make Hinata develop a blinding crush on you (much to his dismay).

Thankfully, over time, Hinata realized that while you were incredibly beautiful and kind, he saw you as nothing more than a friend as well as the girlfriend of his best friend (although sometimes he would still find himself slightly jealous that Kageyama had managed to snatch you for himself).

Kageyama just pushed Hinata off of him and stood up.

“That’s the problem.” he whisper-shouted at the redhead. He didn’t want any of his teammates to notice you, you were his to view and his only.

“Ahhh…” Hinata nodded, knowing all too well of Kageyama’s possessive tendencies. A smug look came over his face as he hurried to catch up to Kageyama, who was walking towards you on the side of the court. “Your stingy side is showing Kageyama.”

Kageyama just rolled his eyes as he finally came to stand in front of you.

He smiled down at you, a light blush painting his face as he tried to regain his cool. He couldn’t help but get a little starstruck each time he saw you. You were so so stunning that he almost had to pinch himself to remind himself that this wasn’t a dream, that you were really his.

And the same went for you. To you, everything about Tobio was perfect and nothing had more rewarding to you than watching your fiance go from the awkward, stumbling 21-year-old he was when you had met him to the brilliant man that stood before you. Over the last 3 years, you’d had the honor of getting to watch your boyfriend truly flourish.

“Hey,” you said, grinning up at your boyfriend, careful to deny the urge to jump into his arms and hug his sweaty form.

He just grinned right back at you, his blush only growing as he fought his own urges to lean down and take a kiss from you.

“Hey,” he replied, “Thank you for coming, I know it must’ve been boring for you.”

“What?” you scoffed, your eyes widening at the ridiculous statement. “I love watching you play.” The genuine excitement in your voice made Kageyama blush even harder.

“Aww, what about me Y/N don’t tell me you were only focusing on stupid Kageyama!” Hinata whined, slinging one of his arms up and around your shoulders.

“Of course not, you did great Hinata” You complimented, knowing that Hinata was probably the only other player that you could complement without Tobio getting fussy.

Hinata picked your hand up, inspecting your engagement ring.

“Really is a shame you’re wasting your life on this idiot though.” he tutted, before giving you a quick kiss on the side of the head and running back onto the court.

“Ignore him.” Tobio scowled, earning a light giggled from you.

“You know I usually do.” You assured. “So, when will you be home?” you asked quietly, making sure that no one could possibly hear.

“Well I think the team wanted to go out tonight...so…”

You nodded, the whole team had been working so hard lately, they deserved some off time.

“Okay baby,” You smiled, “since you’re going out with friends, I might call my girlfriends up and have a night out myself.”

Kageyama nodded. He loved how easy going you were. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have you.

“Be careful and have fun.”

“You too,” you said. He gave you one last love-filled glance before turning and going back onto the court, probably on his way to the locker rooms.

You turned and left, fishing your phone out to call your friends.

**************************

The music at the club was loud, and the flashing lights were almost intense enough to give you a headache. It was also almost overwhelmingly hot in the club as well, which had led you and your friends to take a break. You all had decided to cool down, so you went and ordered a couple of rounds from the bar.

Seeing as you had been at the club for at least 30 minutes already (and did some pregaming before) you and your friends were a bit more than tipsy. Still, you didn’t have work tomorrow and Kageyama didn’t have practice so both of you were going to be able to sleep in as long as you like.

Right after you had put your order in with the bartender you looked towards the entrance of the club, your jaw hitting the floor in surprise.

“Oh my god…” you gasped, how unlucky was this?

“What?” your friend asked, her eyes trying to follow yours across the club.

“Look” you replied, pointing your finger towards the entrance where nearly all of the all-japan team members stood.

“Damnnn... “your friend gasped, “too bad you have a fiance bitch…”

You scoffed, pushing her into the side of the bar. Your eyes went straight back to the entrance, scanning the men as you looked for a familiar stoic face.

“You idiot! That is my fiance. That’s him and his team!” You couldn’t help but laugh a little at your friend who just gaped at you.

“You never told me he had hot friends! I hate you!”

You just laughed. You really wanted to approach your fiance and greet him, but you also knew that without the distraction of practice, it was more likely for some of his other teammates to see you. So you settled with turning your back to the team, hoping that Hinata hadn’t seen you because you knew that if the rambunctious redhead caught sight of you, he would definitely approach you.

For the next couple of minutes, you tried to form a plan on how you could avoid the team, it was a fairly large club so you were pretty sure that it was possible for both of your groups to co-party without crossing paths.

Little to your knowledge, Hinata had already caught sight of you and snuck away from Kageyama and the team so he could greet you. He would tell Kageyama that you were at the club after he said hi to you, otherwise, Kageyama wouldn't allow him to draw any possible attention to you.

You were still trying to think of all of the possible problems with your plan whenever you felt a strong arm wrap around your shoulders. You quickly turned towards the arm with your fist raised, ready to put a handsy bastard in his place.

“Woah! Hey there!”

“Hinata!” you scowled. As soon as you saw him, all of your hope of having a stress free night disappeared. You wondered how he could be so reckless, how dare he blatantly walk up to you!

“Sorry!” He said smiling, his arm unhooking itself from around your body as he leaned against the bar, trying to kind of block you from the team. Despite what you and Kageyama thought, he wasn’t a complete idiot.

“It’s fine… it’s not like I was going to be able to avoid you anyways..” you sighed, resting your chin against your palm in a pout.

“Wait,” Hinata said, “you already knew that we were here? I thought I was doing you a favor by telling you.”

You smiled at the sweet sentiment, before nodding.

“Yeah, I saw you guys when you came in.”

Hinata nodded. Of course, you had noticed, you never failed to impress him with your observation skills. God knows that if you hadn't had good observation skills, you never would’ve realized that Kageyama was flirting with you when the two of you had met.

The bartender came back and set the screwdriver that you’d ordered in front of you. You nodded in thanks before taking a large sip.

“What’re you gonna do?” He asked, yanking the beverage away from you and stealing a bigger than polite gulp.

“We can avoid each other as long as I and my friends stay at the opposite side of the dancefloor and stuff.” You said, swatting at the back of his head as he went in for another drink.

“Ahh,” he said, taking two more gulps and finishing the drink. “Well, good luck!” He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek before walking away from the bar, most likely to go back to his teammates before suspicions rose.

You simply flipped him off as he left, but before you could order a new drink, a new hand wrapped around your arm.

“Hey Y/N let’s go back to dancing!” Your friend said, trying to drag you to the dancefloor. You glanced towards Kageyama’s group, noticing that they had kind of dispersed, some of them staying at the side tables, others heading to the bar, and a few headed towards the dancefloor.

You decided that you liked those odds, and it was probably okay for you to relax a little.

You and your friends returned to dancing, trying to stay towards the middle of the floor. It might seem a little counterintuitive, but being in the middle of the dancefloor meant it was easier to blend in and become just another body in the mass.

At least something about this night was going right, the music the club was playing was probably the best mix you’d heard playing in there in the last couple of visits. Your group was having the times of their lives as you focused on having fun and moving to the music. You could feel the stresses of the week melting away with the music and alcohol when suddenly, a pair of electric blue eyes met yours.

You stopped moving, you couldn’t tell if your heart was beating because of the dancing or if it was the striking look of your fiance looking at you from across the club.

Kageyama must’ve gone home when you weren’t there and changed. He was dressed simply in a dark blue button-down and black slacks but you couldn’t help the shiver that ran through your spine as your body grew hot.

You could tell from the look on his handsome face that he wanted to approach you, but before he could take a step, one of his teammates, a man nearly as tall as Kageyama with bleached blonde hair, slapped him to the shoulder before starting to talk to him about something.

Kageyama broke eye contact with you, turning his face to talk to Atsumu. But neither his heart nor his mind was in the conversation as he couldn’t help but try and sneak glances back out across the club, searching for the figure of his fiance.

After only a couple of seconds of searching, his eyes found you once again and he had to stop himself from letting out a groan.

You were intentionally swinging your hips in the most inviting ways possible, making sure to give Kageyama a nice show. The security of him being across the club meant that you could behave like this and have it be completely within the rules. After all, none of his teammates were watching you dance, only him.

You could feel Tobio’s eyes on your ass as you swing your hips around to the song playing over the club. Since your back was facing your boyfriend, he wasn’t able to see the teasing smirk on your lips as you ground your hips in a circle.

Your body was heating up more and more by the second, you could almost feel his body beneath you as you drew circles with your hips, throwing your head slightly back and rolling it around, exposing the flesh of your neck for his viewing pleasure.

Kageyama was barely keeping a grip on himself as Atsumu continued to talk to him, the blonde had pulled Kageyama into a conversation with him and Kiyoomi, not knowing anything of the battle occurring between Kageyama and his beautiful girlfriend (whom the team still didn’t know existed).

He was having trouble focusing as you danced. He knew that you were acting this way just to tease him, and he also saw that purely by coincidence, you were wearing one of his favorite dresses. The way that the dark red dress hugged your figure was enough to drive him crazy. Even from his position across the club, he could see the way that your breasts and ass were on perfect display, as well as the soft bounce of your thighs as you continued to move.

His legs were twitching with the urge to go and shield you from everyone else in the club. He knew that you didn’t mind people watching you dance, but he did and he could already see several male glances glued to your body. But despite how much he hated all of those men staring at you, he couldn’t blame them. You were almost ethereal in the way that you commanded attention with your movements. Your confidence oozed out of you, attracting and drawing the attention of almost everyone within a 10-foot radius.

He almost growled as he saw you wink at him before shaking your ass at him, he knew that you were aware that he couldn’t approach you and obviously you were having great fun making him miserable.

He felt himself getting hard, and he knew that he needed to stop watching. Hopefully, if he stopped watching, you would stop dancing like that.

He shot one last glance your way, a glance that said ‘you’ll get your punishment later’ and made you clench your thighs.

You just laughed as he turned away. You knew that it was mean to act like this, but you just couldn't help it. Plus, no harm no foul.

“Y/N!” You head a shout behind you, turning to find Hinata. “Dance with me Y/N!” he asked his eyes like an excited child.

You only laughed in response, before stepping towards him and beginning to dance (much more innocently)

You and Shoyou danced for at least ten minutes, just having fun and laughing. Seeing as Kageyama rarely danced, you were grateful that he had such an energy-filled best friend. After a couple of more songs, you both decided that it was once again time for a drink break, and went to the bar together.

After demanding it of him, Hinata bought you a drink to make up for the one he had stolen earlier but as soon as the bartender set it down in front of Hinata, a hand popped out and stole it before you had the chance to claim it.

“So Shoyou, this is where you’ve been sneakin’ off all night?”

You glanced around Hinata to see the blonde that was talking to Kageyama earlier. Hinata gave a small awkward laugh, his eyes glancing to yours apologetically.

“Hey, Atusumu..”

“So….” Atsumu drawled, walking around Shoyou to get a better look at you, “this yer girlfriend Shoyou?” You could feel his eyes glancing down your body, causing your face to heat up and embarrassment begin to rear its ugly head.

Atsumu really was quite handsome, you thought. You couldn’t help but get a little flustered as he eyed you hungrily.

“Haha,” Hinata chuckled nervously, his hand resting itself protectively on your upper back. “No, just a friend.”

“Just a friend….whatta relief thought I was gonna have to steal your girl from ya…”

It was your turn to laugh nervously as Atsumu leaned across the bar to order a drink.

Atsumu was glad that you weren’t Shoyou’s girlfriend. Ever since the first time Hinata had snuck away from them, he had seen the redhead approach you, and ever since then, you had been caught in the crosshairs of his sight.

He couldn’t help but admire you from across the club, the way that your dress complimented your plush body was something that he’d been practically drooling over all night. He could only imagine how soft you were underneath the lovely material, he’d noticed the way that as you had walked to the bar with Hinata, the dress had slipped slightly up your thighs, exposing the supple curve of your legs.

With as flattering as the attention from the blonde setter, you knew that you needed to leave. Your plan to avoid the team had clearly failed and you had decided just to take the loss and call it a night.

“Well,” you said, stepping away from the bar to make your quick escape, “I’m going to go to the bathroom real quick.” It wasn’t completely a lie, you were actually going to go to the bathroom, you were just gonna leave the club right after.

“Promise to come right back?” Atsumu grinned, leaning slightly closer to you.

“How about this,” you drawled back, deciding that the best way to get him off your back at the moment would be to lie your ass off and promise to meet him later, “I’m here with my friend right now, I’m gonna make sure that she has a good time before I worry about myself, so, why don’t you try to find me in about an hour, then maybe you’ll have a chance.” You had leaned towards Atsumu as well until the two of you were only inches apart.

“Deal,” he said, his hands itching to attach to your waist, you were so close…

“See ya then” you smirked, throwing him a wink before sauntering off to the bathroom. As soon as the door closed behind you, you let out the breath that you’d been holding.

‘Fuck’ you thought, ‘ Kageyama is not going to be happy.’

But it’s not like you had a choice. In fact, you thought that you had handled the situation pretty well. Hopefully, Atsumu would get drunk and forget about the whole ordeal.

Once you’d regained yourself, you pulled out your phone and called your friends to tell them that you were going to head home. They whined a little but eventually understood that you’d made up your mind.

Now all that was left was to sneak out without looking super unnatural.

***************************

“Yeah, that’s her,” Atsumu said cockily to the table, causing Kageyama to clench his fists in an attempt to calm himself.

He couldn’t believe that he’d been so careless in letting you out of his sight. He couldn’t believe that he was so unlucky that his teammate made a move on you…..well….. He could believe that. With as enrapturing as you were, it was impossible for someone not to try and approach you. He was just unhappy that it had to be Atsumu.

The blonde had come sauntering back to the area that the team had been inhabiting and had begun to brag about the promise that you’d made him. Of course, at first, Kageyama hadn’t known that it was you who Miya was talking about, but soon Hinata had timidly whispered in his ear, just what the situation was. Kageyama couldn’t even be mad at Hinata, after all, he knew that the over-exuberant spiker couldn’t help it.

The team had only seen you briefly, you were walking into the crowd, trying to get to the exit. As soon as you had ducked into the mass of people, thankfully, none of them could see you leave the building.

After you’d disappeared, a couple of members of the team made comments on your body, congratulating or teasing Atsumu over what they deemed to be a hopeless endeavor, telling him that he didn’t stand a chance.

All of the comments made Kageyama livid, but at the same time, it made him feel totally victorious that he was the one who would get to go home to you later. He didn’t like the way that they were talking about you, and soon the possessive side of him couldn’t stand to stay and listen.

He and a couple of the guys went over to the bar and got a couple of drinks, all of them thankful to be away from the more rambunctious members of the team who were still either conversing at the table or springing around on the dancefloor.

As he sipped his drink, Kageyama couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to you. That dress was truly one of his favorites. The way that you looked in it never failed to distract him, and when he’d seen you in it earlier, he’d almost forgotten how to breathe.

He couldn’t wait to go home to you. He wondered if you had already showered and gone to bed yet, it was a shame that he wasn’t the one to strip that dress off of you, but he was hoping that you’d replaced it with one of his shirts, or even nothing at all.

He set his drink down. He couldn’t hold himself back any longer, he needed to see you, to hold you.

He passed back by the team on his way out, coming up with some lame excuse of feeling too tired to continue the night, getting teased by Bokuto that he was secretly taking someone home, which wasn’t completely off base.

As he walked out of the club into the cool night air, he thought of how you had been dancing earlier, the way that your eyes had flitted to his before you would expose your neck to him, or how you would drag your fingers down your sides, outlining your perfect shape for him as you danced.

‘ Fuck’ he thought, ‘I’m hard.’

He hailed a cab, eager to get home to you. Soon, he was opening the door to your apartment and walking inside. He quickly removed his shoes, eager to find you and wrap you in an embrace. But halfway down the hallway to your bedroom, he stopped.

“Fuuuuckkk….” he heard the high pitched moan drift out of the closed door, the sound going straight to his dick as he anticipated the sight awaiting him. Your moans continued to grace his ears as he slowly peeked in the door, avoiding making any noise so that he could watch you silently.

He found you with your back to him, kneeling on the bed as you pressed a vibrator against yourself. You had shed all of your clothes, leaving your skin bare to his eyes, every goosebump and shiver completely visible to his hungry gaze.

He silently approached you, working his belt off of his hips as he walked. When he got close enough to you, he cleared his throat appreciatively, his dick hardening when your head dropped back to look at him.

God, you looked so good for him. Your eyes were watering and from where he stood, he had the perfect view of your pretty tits as well as a view of the little pink toy vibrating against your already soaked pussy.

Suddenly, your mouth dropped open and another string of moans came out. Kageyama raised his hand to your cheek, his gentle fingers caressing your face, carefully pushing the sweaty wisps of hair that were sticking to your temples. His heart lurched as you looked up at him, your teary eyes filled with love. He looked right back down at you in adoration, not believing how lucky he was that he was yours.

“How long did you have to wait for me baby?” he asked his voice calm despite the furious blush gracing his face.

“....not long…” you whimpered, your insides twisting as your fiance slowly leaned down to join his lips with yours. You almost cried into the kiss, the warm feeling of his mouth against yours making the last couple of hours of torture completely worth it.

“You looked so sexy tonight baby.” Kageyama praised as he leaned away, allowing you to catch your breath after the searing kiss. He sat on the edge of the bed before running his hand down your body from your breasts to your naval before wrapping around your hand that was currently holding the vibrator.

He took the toy away from you, making you whine pathetically at the loss of contact.

“ Shhh… ” He hushed you, pressing a quick kiss to your lips as he stood up again. “I’m gonna fill you up so good, but first I want you to suck me for a bit” He unbuttoned his slacks before letting them drop to the floor.

Your eyes hungrily made their way across his powerful thighs, your mouth practically watering at the sight of the thick muscle that laid underneath his dark boxer briefs. You looked up at Kageyama, moaned lightly as he began to work on unbuttoning his shirt with his long, graceful fingers.

You wanted those fingers inside of you, you thought, keening at the mental image of getting stretched out by Tobio before he filled you with his cock.

You quickly sunk down to your knees and pulled his underwear down his thighs, biting your lower lip almost painfully as his hardening dick popped out. You drooled at the sight, Kageyama had to of had one of, if not the prettiest cocks in the world. The way that the hot appendage stood proudly, long and thick with a gorgeous vein running halfway up the length put art to shame. The slight upward curve made him fit perfectly in your hand, made it perfect for rocking into your fist as you got him off.

“ Please …” he whispered, and that was all it took for you to eagerly wrap your lips around his cock, your hand twisting gently at the base.

“ Shit ,” Kageyama grunted, throwing his head back at the sudden sensation of the warmth of your mouth surrounding him. He threaded his fingers into your hair as he gently guided your head down onto his cock.

“You take me so good,” he mumbled, his praises going straight to your clit as you moaned out around his dick, your fingernails raking down the fronts of his thighs as you gripped onto the muscles.

You were slowly building your pace up, going from giving the tip of his cock small, hot licks, to taking him as far down your throat as you could muster.

Kageyama was putty beneath your fingertips, his whole body felt like it was on fire as you worked him just like he liked to be worked. He could feel himself starting to lose his control over himself as the overwhelming urge to fuck you silly started to creep up his spine.

“Fuck baby,” he breathed as you swallowed him into your throat again, relaxing around the thickness as best as you could, he knew that he was close, “ keep going, baby… .”

Your pussy only clenched harder at his encouraging words as you quickened your pace, trying desperately to make him cum. One of your hands left his thighs to lightly grip his balls, the light touch pushing him that much nearer to the ledge.

“ Ooh fuck….. Please….wanna cum in your pussy baby” he moaned, his fingers sweeping the hair across your forehead as he looked down at you with blown-out pupils.

All you had to do was nod before Kageyama pulled his cock out of your mouth and hoisted you up onto the bed. He leaned over you, claiming your lips in a searing embrace as he ran the tip of his cock against your pussy, making you moan at the feeling of his pulsing cock against your lips.

“ Please Tobio …” you begged, your legs wrapping around his hips in an attempt to pull him inside of you.

After pumping his cock a couple of times in his hand, Kageyama lined himself up with your opening, before easing himself in.

All it took was feeling your tight walls wrapped around him for him to lose himself, his hot cum spurting into you as he buried his face into your neck, licking and sucking at the flesh as he gently rode out his high, careful not to thrust into you too hard seeing as you hadn’t been properly stretched.

“ Tobio ….” you breathed, the feeling of his seed inside of you making you yearn for him to breed you that much stronger. “ Please...fuck me Tobio… ”

“ Shhh… ” he soothed, trying to pull out of you as carefully as possible, groaning at the lewd squelch that your pussy made.

He crawled down your body until his face was level with your cunt, his fingers spreading the lips of your pussy apart as he inspected the sight of his cum leaking out of your hole, groaning at the incredibly sexy display.

Timidly, his tongue poked out of his mouth and prodded at your clit, pulling a high pitched whine from your lungs as your fists gripped the sheets underneath you.

Kageyama wrapped his mouth around your clit, sucking the little bud into his mouth as his fingers began to prepare you, scooping his cum up and fucking it back into you.

“So good for me baby…. You’re being so good for me aren’t you?”

“ Yes!” you cried, your hips trying to grind down onto the digits that were fucking into your dripping cunt far too slow for your liking. “Please give me your cock.”

Tobio decided to indulge you, crawling back up your body and realigning himself with you.

“Fuck, you’re so tight baby.” he groaned, his hips slowly pushing into you until he bottomed out.

You were being reduced to a whimpering mess with the feeling of being so completely full of your boyfriend. You wrapped your arms around his back, your chest pressing against his as he began to thrust into you with slow, calculated movements.

“ Please …” you sighed, your hips bucking desperately as you tried to coax him to go faster.

As Kageyama stared down at your blissed-out face, he could only thank god that you were his. After seeing how his teammates ogled over you, how much you were desired, he could help but feel like the luckiest man alive as he buried himself deeper into you, your walls clenching deliciously around him.

“ Fuck baby… . No one else can fuck you like this but me….” He groaned, his hips beginning to snap in and out of you a little bit faster.

You almost cried at the change in pace as you nodded and babbled out, “ yes, you fuck me so good, only you… ”

Tobio continued to thrust into you, whispering praises and compliments into your ear as he pounded into you, telling you how good you felt around him, how lucky he was to have you all to himself.

He could feel your end approaching as he reached down and began to circle your clit, taking the small bud between his thumb and index finger and rolling it, causing your eyes to roll back into your head.

“Fuck! Tobio!” you cried, your fingers digging into his shoulders, “...m’ gonna cum…”

Kageyama’s head rested in the crook of his neck as his thrust quickened even further, he could feel his second high rising within him as well.

With a few more thrusts of his hips, he had you crying as you came on his cock, milking his second load of the night into you.

Kageyama stayed inside of you even after you both came down from your highs. You keened in the feeling of being stuffed full of his cum, his cock acting as a stopper to keep any of it from leaking out.

If you had your way, he would never pull out, you would never have to let go of this full feeling.

“Wanna stay in you forever.” He mumbled against your skin, his cock twitching as small aftershocks rocked through your pussy, surprising him with small squeezes every few seconds.

“Ok.” you giggled, wrapping your arms around him happily.

He let himself indulge for a few minutes before deciding that he wanted to inspect his work, he went back down to be eye level with your pussy, once again groaning at the sight of his cum along with your juices seeping out of your puffy hole.

“ No please. .” you gasped in surprise as his fingers started shoveling the cum back into your hole, pressing against the spongey texture of your g-spot with every thrust.

“Come on baby….” he encouraged, his fingers going from 0 to 100 as he mercilessly finger fucked you. “Give me one more orgasm, K?”

You nodded, there were tears in your eyes and your thighs were twitching as the sting of overstimulation took over your pussy. You knew that Kageyama would never push you too far, you knew that he only wanted to make you feel good.

Your second orgasm took you by surprise, the high ripping through your body as you began to convulse against your fiance’s fingers.

“Tobio!” you squealed, your hands flying down to his wrists, trying to stop the digits from continuing to fuck you through your high, you could feel yourself creaming all over the sheets and his teeth bit into your thighs.

“ Good girl ….” he growled as he replaced his fingers with his tongue, lapping up your juices as your body went limp against the bed. He pulled away, his chin glistening with your cum as he smiled adoringly down at you.

After a moment’s rest, he climbed off of the bed, leaning over and lifting you into his arms. He carried you to the bathroom and sat you down on top of the counter before retreating to the shower to turn it on.

When he returned to you, he wrapped his arms around your waist, enjoying the feeling of your plush, orgasm-rocked body against him.

“You did so well for me…..” he whispered into your skin, “I love you so much…”

You mewled at his words, your nose nestling against his hair as your own arms returned the gesture of wrapping around him.

Once the shower warmed up, he put both of you under the steady flow, the hot droplets relaxing you as you melted back against his chest while he contently washed your body.

Tobio looked down at you.

“You know all of my teammates wanted to take you home tonight…”

You hummed in response, only half-listening to your fiance as you continued to bask in your post-orgasm glow.

“I almost had to tell that you belong to me,” he continued, running his fingers across your body, lathering soap against your skin.

You hummed again.

“Tell me who you belong to baby,” he whispered, turning you around in his arms.

You looked up at him with a sweet smile on your face, your fingers coming up to thread through his soft wet hair. You leaned up and placed a sweet kiss against his jawline before resting your head into his chest, hearing the gentle thudding of his heartbeat.

“Tobio Kageyama,” you stated, “I am completely yours.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

#haikyuu smut #haikyuu x chubby reader #haikyuuxreader #haikyuu 18+#kageyama #tobio x y/n #kageyama tobio

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shihalyfie · 3 years

Text

The Kaiser wasn’t very good at being a villain (and that’s the point, actually)

Ken’s journey of redemption is generally well-documented overall, and it was explicit enough in the series that there’s only so much you really need to explain it, but due to the blurred boundary of what was supernatural influence from the Dark Seed and what was Ken’s own emotional problems wreaking havoc, it’s somewhat more difficult to bridge that gap between the Kaiser and Ken, and how they can be the same person.

The easiest way to understand it comes from both directions. One is that Ken, even in his normal element, is much more assertive than he’s often given credit for -- it’s just that the Kaiser is a (fragile) manifestation of that very carefully cultivated to channel that in all of the wrong directions. The other has to do with the fact that the Kaiser is actually really terrible at being a villain, and the persona itself is very fragile and difficult for him to maintain.

Rewatching the first half of 02 shows multiple indications that, for all he seemed to be the stereotype “evil genius”, Ken was forcing himself into the mold. He was never cut out for it from day one. Even from the beginning, Ken’s actual nature as a lonely and inherently kind eleven-year-old child was tearing apart at the Kaiser persona, and the fateful episode 21 was not so much a single turning point for him as much as it was the last straw in a series of things tumbling down for him.

Before we continue: While all of the meta on this blog is only possible thanks to support and input from a handful of friends (whose names will not be disclosed on account of privacy requests), this one in particular arose from a long and extensive discussion with said friends that I am extremely grateful for. As always, I hope I was able to convey your points well.

Well, firstly, it’s important to understand that, much like nearly any other character in this series, Ken’s surface demeanor is a bit deceptive. The Crest of Kindness has the original Japanese name of yasashisa (優しさ), which has a secondary meaning of “gentleness” (lost in translation, but still apparent with the bubble metaphor in 02 episode 23). That also ties into the secondary meaning of “kind” -- it’s not just about being naturally “soft”, but actively choosing to be gentle with others even when you’re theoretically capable of not doing so. (For those of you who have seen Appmon, the entire point of that series was about what it means to consciously and deliberately choose to be kind, and, in fact, quite a few parallels could be made between Ken and Haru...)

The contrast between Daisuke and Ken goes far beyond just the surface. Daisuke’s surface demeanor is abrasive, but he’s not actually very good at being assertive until push comes to shove, and he otherwise tends to bend easily to others or get overwhelmed; in contrast, Ken has a more polite demeanor and for the most part seems non-confrontational, but has much stronger control of his emotions and is more easily able to be assertive than Daisuke is. (Of course, both of them share the common point of being like-minded when it’s something that really matters, but Ken is much better at imposing his will and getting what he wants done before Daisuke ever gets to that point, which is what fuels the whole punchline of Daisuke and Ken’s Shopping Carol.)

So, the point is: Daisuke is kind out of instinct and just “naturally” being so, but Ken is kind because he consciously believes in treating others well and not causing conflict, and not causing pain to others.

That’s not to say that Ken’s behavior is out of suppression or anything! It’s not a case like Takeru, who’s trying to push complicated emotions down while pretending they’re not boiling under the surface, nor is he like Hikari, who’s compulsively pressing her emotions down out of a desire not to burden others. Rather, even as early as 02 episode 26, he’s very straightforward about what his issue is and what he thinks about it. Ken’s “shyness” during the latter half of 02 is largely due to shame and hesitation from not knowing the other 02 kids well, but as the series goes on and as we go into post-02 material, he indicates that he’s perfectly wiling to be vocal about what he thinks without necessarily fighting any compulsion to suppress it. For someone who claims he doesn’t know much about his own heart, he arguably seems to have the best grip on understanding himself compared to a lot of this cast!

So in essence, the main take-home here is that Ken is theoretically capable of being strong-willed and assertive, and is very good at choosing when he wants to be assertive and when he wants to hold back. And he likes seeing people get along, and he wants everyone to be happy, and he doesn’t like seeing people be hurt or hurting others, and under normal circumstances, Ken has very good control of his emotions for the most part and quite a lot of self-awareness. That’s why Ken is the one to get the unique designation of this Crest; everyone in this cast can be said to be generous and supportive of others in some form, but there’s a difference between being a “natural” doormat who defers to others by default (Daisuke being a very good indicator of how this kind of mentality has a flip side of lack of self-esteem and high insecurity, and Tamers’s Takato being a good indication of how “being deferential” doesn’t necessarily preclude you from having tendencies towards selfishness or cowardice), versus choosing to be kind by understanding everything and still being gentle out of a belief that it’s the right thing to do (again: see Shinkai Haru). And it’s why Wormmon says in the 02 episode 23 flashback that Ken’s kindness can be used against him; being “kind” in this way requires a lot of mental fortitude, strength, and guts, all of which are things that could easily be very bad things when applied in the wrong direction.

This means that all the Dark Seed really needed to do in order to turn him into the Kaiser...was make him lose grip on that self-control.

Actually, Ken says it himself in less-than-subtle words in Spring 2003:

…It was revenge. But who was this revenge against? Did I want to triumph over the ones who made fun of me? The ones who looked down on me and used me? But… In the end, it was revenge against myself. I couldn’t do anything but deny the kind of human being that I was.

So in other words, the Kaiser persona was, effectively, a self-loathing eleven-year-old boy throwing a massive tantrum. A lot of the Kaiser’s actions in the first half of 02 are honestly rather petty -- he’s basically upset at the kids spoiling his holiday in 02 episode 6, he attempts torturing Daisuke out of a petty grudge over a soccer sliding tackle in 02 episode 8, and everything to do with expanding his territory and eventually (hopefully?) becoming ruler of the Digital World is frankly very sloppy. For all he’s said to be a genius, his genius only seems to extend to book smarts, and his “tactical planning abilities” never really expand beyond that of a soccer field sort of affair; his way of locking down control on other things is basically just “brainwash it harder” or “whip it harder” and applying harder brute force instead of doing something in the long-term like, say, trying to rule with charisma and recruiting allies.

(Again, bringing Appmon back into this, seeing Cloud in action will give you a much better example of a charismatic human villain who’s actually competent at his job. Or, heck, you can even look back at Savers’s Kurata, who at least was savvy enough to pull strings with people in powerful positions. Or even the Kaiser’s predecessor Saiba Neo from V-Tamer, who may have been openly sadistic but still had the sense to align himself with background power. Really, compared to all of these folks, the Kaiser is downright pathetic.)

Remembering that Ken fell into the Kaiser persona partially as a desperate attempt to become a “perfect person” like Osamu, Ken “imitated” Osamu’s cruelty to him because he felt that was how he could improve himself to become a “strong” person better than him. But the irony here is that Osamu’s “cruelty” was something that he himself never liked, and mainly came from lashing out at Ken due to feeling like he had a lack of control over his own life. So Osamu was never happy in that position, and Ken, who is indirectly pointed out via the bubble metaphor to be even more fundamentally inclined towards gentleness, is probably even more miserable.

Because everything Ken does as the Kaiser is “unfocused lashing out at everyone”, the Kaiser has less control over his emotions than Ken normally would. Takeru manages to emotionally pin him to a corner by confronting him with enough assertion in 02 episode 19 (this is before he punches him), and correctly points out that the Kaiser isn’t capable of winning with words (i.e. ideologically) and resorts to violence as the first thing he can think of. You’d think that if the Kaiser were actually someone with the self-confidence to consider the other Chosen Children beneath him, he wouldn’t even bother giving them the time of day, but Takeru just happening to be a little assertive is enough to make him lose his composure and start falling apart, and a lot of his shaken “insects!” yelling comes from him seeming pretty desperate to cling onto that rather than being all that confident about his natural superiority over anyone. 02 episode 20 establishes that he’s getting himself in over his head by tampering with the powers of darkness he can’t control, and while, on a plot level, it means that he’s misjudged his own capabilities, on a metaphorical level, it corresponds to the fact that even Ken himself is incapable of getting himself out of the emotional abyss he’s in.

And on the flip side, one of the biggest “tells” that Ken is still miserable during all of this is 02 episode 9, where he’s seen ruminating on the “glory” he’s getting in the real world despite having just decided to leave it all behind. The episode prior, after all, had been called “The Digimon Kaiser’s Loneliness”. The media is using him like some kind of “hot topic”, his parents’ affection (in his mind) is shallow and based only on his achievements, and he has no friends (how much of a role Akiyama Ryou played in his childhood is unclear, but either way, he’s no longer around now). With no emotional support coming from any direction in the real world, he’s resorting to at least trying to have some “fun” in what he perceives to be a “game”, and yet he’s still not having fun at all.

If you look carefully at a lot of the Kaiser’s actions during the first half of the series, one thing you’ll notice is that there are multiple indications that he’s not quite up to par to being as sadistic as you’d think he’d be. Recalling that we learn in 02 episodes 20-21 that the Kaiser is under the impression that the Digital World is like a game that he can “reset” and the Digimon in it not real living beings, it has interesting implications of the fact that he’s actually very hesitant to physically harm other human beings -- he certainly likes emotionally toying with them, but even when he’s trying to take petty revenge on Daisuke in 02 episode 8, he goes out of his way to set up a trap with Bakemon to torture him rather than, well, actually using the kids as hostages. That’s a hell of a lot of work to do, but he instead uses this extremely roundabout way to get them out of the picture in a somewhat less harmful way, risking having them escape (which is exactly what happens).

And in 02 episode 19, when Takeru confronts him and he ends up whipping him, you can hear a slight “...gh?” in the Japanese audio for a split second right after that, meaning that the Kaiser is, for some reason, having a hard time dealing with the fact that he just hit Takeru, and he does a very poor job defending himself against Takeru punching him out despite ostensibly being trained in judo. (Seriously, if you watch the animation of the scene, he’s just lying there while Takeru repeatedly punches the hell out of him, because he’s so out of it.) Regarding the Digimon, he’s convinced himself that they’re not living beings, but regarding the human Chosen Children, who undeniably are, no matter how much he might look down on them, he has a suspiciously hard time harming them as much as he could...

On top of that, one interesting question that might come up to one rewatching the first half of 02 is the strange “contradiction” of why the Kaiser ostensibly seems to hate Wormmon so much, calling him an unworthy idea of a partner in 02 episodes 10 and 19, and yet does remarkably little to get Wormmon away from him or off his case (he hates Wormmon calling him “Ken-chan”, yet doesn’t really try very hard to stop him). He could have easily locked Wormmon away in a cage or something if he really wanted to -- actually, there’s the question, why doesn’t he slap an Evil Ring on him? Because in the end, Wormmon is the only emotional support he’s really getting, and so it’s likely he unconsciously doesn’t want to lose that. Recalling that Digimon are fundamentally linked to the inner self, the Kaiser rejecting Wormmon for being “weak” is analogous to Ken rejecting his own self for being “weak” and “not perfect” -- which means that the fact he still keeps Wormmon around is analogous to the fact that Ken hasn’t really been able to bring himself to completely let his fundamental nature go. And, hence, it’s why he gets so initially incensed at Wormmon’s “betrayal” at 02 episode 10 (and yet still keeps him around despite that), and is ultimately emotionally destroyed by his death in 02 episode 21.

Although, actually, if you look carefully at 02 episode 21, it’s not quite Wormmon’s death that necessarily does it -- the turning point where he sheds the Kaiser persona is right before that (and in case you have any doubts, the animation puts highlights in his eyes for the first time in the series right at that point). Wormmon’s death is the first major consequence of his actions that he has to deal with, but what actually brought Ken back to his senses was his own realization that Digimon are living beings, that his actions have had permanent effects this whole time, and that he can’t take back anything he’d done.

Remember that 02 is a series that is largely about moving on and accepting that you can’t change the past, and that you have to move forward regardless of that. Ken’s fall into sadism was only possible by driving him into extremely deep-seated denial -- he was already starting to face the potential reality of Digimon being real, existing beings in the real world an episode prior. He says, outright, in 02 episode 21, that part of the reason he came to the Digital World to do all of this was escapism -- and, presumably, under the idea that any mistake he made could be rolled back and redone, unlike Osamu’s death. But the Digital World is not a place you can reset like a game, Ken will have to live with the consequences of his actions again, and moreover, every single one of the actions he’d been convincing himself were relatively meaningless had caused severe and permanent harm, and the entire thing overwhelms him.

It’s also important to point out that this was probably where the Dark Seed had to work a lot of magic to get Ken to embrace this kind of denial so easily -- after all, it’s established in the final quarter of the series that it does have a tangible impact on personality and puts a damper on one’s ability to feel empathy. In the flashback in 02 episode 23, regardless of whether Ken considered the Digital World to be a “game” or “able to be reversed” or not, he clearly still didn’t care and treated those around him with proper kindness (even if he did consider it to be all of that, it probably wouldn’t have been entirely unlike how a lot of us have a hard time picking rude choices in video games). It’s a very complicated chain reaction of events that allowed this to be even possible, and it was so against his fundamental nature that once the denial broke and Ken reached his limit, he wasn’t able to do it anymore. The Chosen Children’s main role in 02 episode 21 was really just cleaning up the massive mess he’d made in the form of Chimeramon, but as far as the whole thing about the Kaiser’s persona completely falling apart and Ken being forced to confront his own self goes, that was pretty much all Ken and Wormmon, in a series of dominoes that had already been collapsing for episodes on end.

The following episodes have Ken treat the 02 team with a certain amount of detachment, and this is often construed by a handful of people as being reflective of Ken being standoffish of some sort. The fact that Daisuke and Ken are often promoted in franchise materials as “rivals” mainly due to them being in the “protagonist and right-hand-man” position such characters are in might tempt you to think that way, but they are most definitely not!! (Considering that even saying that Taichi and Yamato fit that mold is a bit questionable, and neither Ruki nor Jian quite fulfill the expectations of the role in regards to the genre-subverting Tamers, Frontier, which is explicitly said to be deliberately written to be conventional, is probably the first proper execution of this trope in the form of Takuya and Kouji.) Ken’s detachment from the group at this time in the series is something he actually gives the reason for quite directly: he believes it’s his fault and doesn’t want to burden them with what he considers to be his job, and in the end Daisuke ultimately breaks through to him and they become completely normal friends who get along. “Rival” what?

Ken is, at worst, distant during this point of the series, but he’s actually very straightforward about what he wants and intends to do; it’s just that he’s being a bit blunt about it because he’s still drowning in his shame and not sure how to approach them. (Also, consider the fact he was rather lacking in friends or a support group before all of this; he doesn’t have a lot of experience in socializing, either.) So he keeps everyone at arm’s length, and the reason he comes off as so standoffish is because he’s so assertive! He directly and bluntly makes some very strong remarks about how he believes everyone else shouldn’t be getting involved! Again, when left to his own devices and not being manipulated into by a supernatural evil seed into multiple levels of denial, Ken is very in control of what he wants and thinks, and is even very open about speaking his mind.

That’s even when they’re not good decisions, mind you. Ken starts off the climax of 02 episode 26 being very firm about wanting to suicidally throw himself into the reactor in order to stop it, and 02 episode 30 has him consider himself a burden to the team after the fallout with Iori and try to stay out of it despite them very badly needing his presence, which Daisuke (of all people!) rightfully calls him out for being childish about. But he also listens to reason very quickly and acknowledges the others’ point very easily, with Daisuke reminding him in 02 episode 26 that his suicidal recklessness is actually pretty self-centered and short-sighted of him, since it’ll prevent him from doing anything else to take responsibility for his actions going forward, and Miyako, uh, slapping him in 02 episode 30. (But he comes quietly right away as if acknowledging his own idiocy, and never holds it against her thereafter.)

Nevertheless, the point is: you can see that this kind of assertiveness is the same kind of assertiveness he had as the Kaiser, just channeled in a different direction and for a different purpose. But as the Kaiser, he was angrily lashing out at anything and everything and stepping on anything he could just so he could have a show of power; once he comes back to his senses, he reserves that force for it being something he consciously believes is the right thing to do (regardless of whether it’s actually the right thing to do or not).

Because of the fact Ken spends a lot of the last quarter of 02 suffering and parsing a lot of trauma, a lot of people have tended to pin him as constantly sad and being a soft crybaby, but that couldn’t be further from the truth! Despite all the emotional pain he goes through, Ken has a hell of a ton of strength through all of this -- he even flings a well-aimed quip at Oikawa in 02 episode 44 despite being in a completely helpless situation, and in 02 episode 45 he himself is the one who volunteers to open the gate to the Dark Ocean, despite knowing exactly what it entails. That takes a lot of guts, and all things considered, his recovery from being the Kaiser spans only four months and is altogether incredibly fast given what he went through -- it did not take long for him to regain his bearings and get himself back on track. Again, it’s the same kind of “assertiveness” and capacity for action that fuels what the Kaiser did, just better controlled and in a direction Ken knows he actually wants.

This is also why I tend to object to insinuations that Ken would be overly touchy about or traumatized by the mere discussion of him being the Kaiser in the aftermath of 02, because the series itself, multiple times, portrayed him as being very able to talk about his experiences bluntly and honestly, at worst maybe considering it a bit of an awkward topic. He has no problems admitting that it was a thing that happened, especially if it involves discussing it as part of taking responsibility or preventing further damage -- it’s just that he of course doesn’t enjoy it either, and is equally as open about the shame he feels as a result. All of the times Ken loses his composure in the latter half of 02 involve either physical pain being inflicted on him, or a lot more actively vicious invocation of his memories and insecurities, and even then he gets himself back on his feet with a rather prompt amount of speed. Poorly timed of a statement as it may have been, Miyako is not incorrect when she says in 02 episode 31 that he has a certain amount of natural resilience that he carried from being the Kaiser.

All the way back in 02 episode 9, shortly after it was revealed to the group that Ken was the Kaiser, Iori, Hikari, and Takeru all label Ken as someone who doesn’t look like someone who could do something so horrible, and Hikari even says that his smile looks “gentle” (note that this is yasashisou, a word derived from the same root word used for his Crest). So in other words, even all three of them were able to catch on to his actual nature betraying himself even during that awful period of time. It’s still poking through, all things considered.

But we as the audience know he’s putting on that face for the camera, and his eyes are still as dead-eyed as they are for the first half of the series, and when Miyako accidentally makes him laugh during the Christmas party in 02 episode 38, it’s very much framed as probably the first time Ken has been this genuinely happy in a long while. He was never able to be this happy even when “satisfying” himself by stepping on others as the Kaiser.

And that’s why it’s so extremely unlikely that Ken will ever be able to lapse back into the Kaiser persona after the events of 02, even with the Dark Seed technically still inside his neck. He wasn’t enjoying it anyway; the Kaiser persona wasn’t a habit that he fell into out of emotional suppression or even catharsis, but rather him forcing himself into a role he was never comfortable in to begin with. He was never truly satisfied with anything he was getting out of it, and moreover, it took the combination of supernatural influence and a hell of a lot of denial to allow it to get that far in the first place, because of how far against his fundamental nature that was. (Again, for those of you who have seen Appmon: think about what it would take to get Haru to embrace sadism.) Even Osamu wasn’t enjoying being cold; being kind and living your life with positivity is a lot more fulfilling and fun, anyway.

In 02 episode 48, Ken describes the influence of the Seed as “horrible” in retrospect; even if it didn’t involve physical pain and exhaustion the way it did for the Dark Seed children, the entire experience sucked even back then. And while Ken theorizes about the Dark Seed’s influence being countered by the power of love earlier in the episode, when you look at the whole of 02, it’s not just his family’s love -- Ken now has the emotional support of his family, and Wormmon, and his newfound friends, and that’s giving him all of the fulfillment he wanted that putting on a front of sadism wasn’t giving him, and he doesn’t really need anything else anymore.

02 itself is very much about the fact that it’s not a bad thing to rely on the support of others to be happy; the Ken and Kaiser are undoubtedly the same person, but the latter’s existence requires a very specific lineup of events and factors to happen, and one of the massive parts behind that was a severe lack of emotional support or anyone who properly understood him. And by the end of the series, Ken has more than enough strength of heart to accept everything that’s happened and move on, and to stop reaching out to denial and clinging onto the past, and he has emotional support and understanding from a whole new group of friends that thoroughly understand everything he did and went through, and wholeheartedly accept and love him anyway.

He is never going to have a gaping hole in his life like that again.

#digimon #digimon adventure 02 #ichijouji ken #ken ichijouji #shihameta

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 3 years

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IOTA Reviews: Mega Leech

Like every cartoon ever made, today's episode is the environmental episode. We all know how high-quality those tend to be, right?

Let's get into the twelfth (chronologically the tenth) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Mega Leech.

We start off with the shyest girl in Marinette's class, Mylene, mentally preparing herself for a protest with her boyfriend, tough guy with a soft side, Ivan.

Wow, real subtle foreshadowing there, writers.

The thing Mylene and Ivan are protesting is something called the “Oxygen Project” by Mayor Andre Bourgeois, which will supposedly create fresh air for Paris. To be fair, this isn't just a random character trait they slapped onto Mylene like what we've seen with other episodes this season to justify their new Akuma forms. Back in the Season 2 episode “Reverser”, a major plotpoint for the final act was that Andre was about to approve a project that would send trash into space, which Mylene and Ivan were protesting at, before the titular Akuma threatened to send the trash back to the Earth. This show can get weird at times.

Even though they're the only two protesters, Andre still has Officer Roger Raincomprix take them into custody. To his credit, Roger does try to resolve things diplomatically, and is very hesitant to take them to his car (even though they aren't handcuffed and there's no divider), he only does so when his job is threatened by Andre. And let's get the obvious joke out of the way now because there's going to be a lot of moments like this.

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Marinette sees the event from her house, and after running late to school resulting in a brief moment of Unfunny Marinette Slapstick, tells the class what's going on. Surprisingly, instead of ignoring the whole situation like every other episode she's been in, Ms. Bustier decides to actually be a teacher for once and calls Roger. She says that she'll supervise their protest while the rest of the class comes with her.

Back at the park, Andre is about to chop a tree down with a chainsaw, but is soon called out by Ms Bustier. Mylene calls out Andre for the obviously not eco-friendly project, but he soon plays an ad for the Oxygen Project.

Huh. So this is how Druidia's canned air business took off.

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To be fair, this is actually a funny scene, as it does feel like an over the top commercial you'd see, especially the kind that gets promoted by a politician. Of course, this funny joke is soon followed yet another reminder that Marinette likes Adrien, because the writers assume the audience will forget if they aren't bashed over the head with this knowledge every episode.

And as usual, Adrien ignores Marinette's odd behavior around him, but that's more because he's distracted by the ad, because he was told it was for perfume (did the oxygen line not give away the purpose of the commercial?). Quick question: Why is Gabriel taking part in this? Why is a fashion designer being commissioned to create a bottle for a government-sanctioned project? Does he just invest in random projects and hopes they'll go under so he can akumatize someone? As for Mylene, her classmates are naturally confused as to why she is opposed to this project if it's good for the environment. Her response is something that can ironically be used to criticize this very show when talking about the Oxygen Project.

We then get a moment where, of course, Chloe is the one to say she doesn't care about trees despite having no real prominence in this episode. Seriously, this is the only line she gets and it's to remind the audience how much of an irredeemable monster she is.

Oh my God, Astruc, why don't you just say she's a climate change denier while you're at it, seeing how you already view them as criminals? You clearly want to throw every negative character trait and label at her, don't you? If you're so crazy about hating her, why not make Chloe Captain Planet villain levels of evil?

Marintte points out the obvious flaw in Andre's plan to stop pollution by selling air in plastic bottles that can easily pollute the ocean, which gives the Mayor a lot of bad press, and even though she's the one to say this, Mylene still shames her for ignoring her attempts to get people to protest because she was busy. Yes, the show is seriously trying to blame Marinette for not doing enough to help the environment on top of her various other responsibilities like PROTECTING THE CITY OF PARIS ON A DAILY BASIS.

The families of the kids come to support the protest, and Andre tries to call Gabriel for help, but he basically tells him to figure it out himself, supporting my earlier theory in the process. He transforms into Shadowmoth and sends an Akuma and an Amok to Andre. This transforms him into Malediktator again and and gives him a Sentimonster ally, the titular Mega Leech.

Mega Leech is another example of a Sentimonster with a simple design but a really interesting set of powers. As soon as its summoned, Malediktator jumps into his mouth and summons an army of minature clones of himself (making me wonder why they didn't call the Sentimonster “Micromanager”) to jump into the ears of civilians and control them directly like Plankton in that one episode of SpongeBob. It's a pretty terrifying concept and a really clever extension of Malediktator's mind control powers.

Adrien transforms into Cat Noir and tries fighting off the Malediktator clones, but obviously gets overwhelmed by their sheer numbers. Marinette soon pretends to be possessed by a Malediktator clone to get Mylene to run away while she transforms, once again summoning her Lucky Charm as soon as she meets up with Cat Noir because the animators really want to show off the new suit. She uses the Lucky Charm, a single ice skate, to break the mayoral sash around one of the Malediktator clones and frees the Akuma and Amok, but Mega Leech is still around, along with the brainwashed civilians. She and Cat Noir realize that the Akumas and Amoks must have multiplied when Malediktator cloned himself. Ladybug tells Cat Noir to distract the Malediktator clones (the latter actually acknowledging how he always has to do that)

Ladybug meets up with Mylene in the sewer where she had escaped to earlier, only to find the girl crying. Ladybug offers Mylene the Mouse Miraculous, but she turns her down because of how scared she is. Unlike when they tried to do the same thing by having Zoe doubt herself in “Queen Banana”, this scene makes sense because Mylene has consistently been shown to be a very timid person. It feels much more believable to see this from her. Granted, it's undermined by Ladybug saying that Mylene is already like a superhero because of her protesting for a good cause. I get she's trying to reassure her, but the whole environmental lesson is kind of muddled by saying Marinette doesn't care about the environment because of how busy she was FIGHTING CRIME. Thankfully, the lesson is more about bravery being able to move onward in spite of fear.

Nevertheless, this still motivates Mylene to take the Mouse Miraculous and transforms into Polymouse.

And boy, is it bad. I'm not trying to body shame Mylene here, I'm glad they didn't try and slim her down either, but I'm really not a fan of the color scheme for the suit. With the use of pink and white, it looks way too similar to Pigella.

I get that they were trying to make Mylene look like a mouse, but I'm just really not a fan of the white gloves and boots. They stick out compared to Pigella, where they actually blended in with the color scheme. Then there's the actual suit itself. Why give the suit a hood if you're going to make it yet another skintight jumpsuit? At least with Carapace, they had more armor to help him resemble a turtle, but there's no excuse here. And finally, the hair. How can you take a girl with a very vibrant hairstyle, make it pink when transforming, cover it up, and then call it a day? There are just so many questionable design choices here. I don't think it's as laughably bad as Shadowmoth's suit, but it's really one of the weakest hero suits to be introduced recently.

I'd give my thoughts on how to improve it, but thankfully one of my anons gave their own ideas for a redesign.

Thank you to whoever sent this in. You certainly get character design better than some of the animators on this show, and that's saying a lot given they're supposedly better than the ones at Pixar.

Ladybug gives Polymouse the ice skate to use as a makeshift flail with her weapon, a jump rope, while she fights the Maledikator clones. Polymouse uses her power, Multitude, which turns her into a swarm of miniature clones to take on the horde of Malediktator clones and free the brainwashed civilians. Ladybug meets up with Cat Noir, but big surprise, Cat Noir gets brainwashed by a Malediktator clone. Sure, Polymouse frees him from the control, but I'm surprised Ladybug isn't more used to this happening by now.

Ladybug then gathers several temp heroes to help them out. She gives Kagami the Dragon Miraculous to become Ryuko, Nino the Turtle to become Carapace, Max the Horse to become Pegasus, and she gives back the Bee Miraculous to the super amazing Zoe so she can once again become the world's greatest superhero, Vesperia. There’s a brief joke where Cat Noir rushes to join the team pose, which could be seen as foreshadowing for future events, and if it is, good job, writers.

Pegasus uses his Voyage to teleport Vesperia above Mega Leech, where she uses her Venom on the Sentimonster, while Ryuko uses her Wind Dragon to gather all the scattered Akumas and Amoks freed by Polymouse for Carapace to trap in his Shelter. Ladybug purifies all the Akumas and Amoks, gives Andre a Magical Charm, tells him to rethink the Oxygen Project, and the heroes leave where Ladybug takes back all their Miraculous.

Back at the park, Andre decides to plant more trees in what's obviously not a desperate attempt to save his reputation. He may say he's doing the right thing, but I doubt investors will be happy that the project's being aborted just like that. We get one more hilarious moment where Marinette stutters around Adrien, who soon goes home and gets sent to his room by his father (because we just needed an Angstdrien Depreste scene this episode for some reason), who fidgets with his ring and stares ominously as the episode ends. And in case you live under a rock, this reignited a certain fan theory I'll be talking about in another post.

Overall, I thought this was a pretty decent episode. The environmentalism subplot was pretty standard for episodes like this, with how the antagonist is a rich asshole who doesn't see how he's harming the environment, and gets his mind changed by a hopeful youth. I'm glad Andre isn't Captain Planet villain levels of evil here, though I am glad the episode acknowledges that there's no single solution to stopping pollution, and that there needs to be more unity if we need to help the planet's situation.

While it had a bumpy first act, things really started to get interesting as soon as the action started. Questionable design aside, I thought Polymouse (who didn't even name herself in the episode) had a good first outing with the use of her powers coupled with the use of the Lucky Charm. The first act with Mylene really showcased her character and her courage in the face of adversity well. Part of me kind of wishes we could have seen her interact with Ivan while she was transformed, but then again, he was still brainwashed I think.

The other heroes honestly felt shoehorned in during the climax. I get that they helped gather all the Akumas and Amoks, but there was really no buildup to them appearing like in other episodes with multiple heroes.

The one major problem I have is how the episode tries to blame Marinette for not being as kind as Mylene because she didn't know about the protest, even though, as I have stated multiple times, SHE ROUTINELY SAVES PARIS EVERY EPISODE. I think that counts as saving the planet.

This episode had some flaws, but it was still pretty enjoyable, and it was one of the better episodes this season so far.

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kallypsowrites · 3 years

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How do people justify Leigh writing the crows and the Nikolai duology? I say the duology because it came after tgt which people write that off as because it was early work/writing. How can you reconcile that she wrote something so praised and went on to write nikolais story? You can’t say she doesn’t understand what she is doing. You can certainly hate the direction she takes things but it’s weird to me how people lay down their lives for soc and in the same breath say she doesn’t know how story works. I guess what I’m trying to ask is what did she do that is so right with soc that she didn’t elsewhere? If she doesn’t understand story, something fundamental, wouldn’t all her works carry these messes? (I hope this doesn’t come off accusatory I’m just fascinated by these discussions and in particular how I never see any criticism of soc in fact it’s universally praised as peak excellence while tgt + nikolais story gets shredded)

I'm actually trying to answer asks so here we go.

This is a great question anon! What DOES make the six of Crows duology so much better than Leigh's other work in the Grishaverse? How could she go from the Crows duology (a tightly written, interesting, character driven fantasy) to the Nikolai duology (which, while I haven't read it, seems like a mess when it comes to character, world building and plot).

I think Six of Crows succeeds precisely because its a very contained story. Bigger does not always equal better. Sometimes bigger means giving yourself too many toys to play with and it can be overwhelming. Smaller means that you can take more time to reaaallly dig into the material you have.

There are three things that Six of Crows does right that the other books don't:

1. A magic system with limits. The Grishaverse is playing with a lot of world building powers. Six of Crows, on the other hand, doesn't. Only a couple of it's characters are Grisha and even then, only Nina was trained as a Grisha. This means most of our characters can't pull a magic deus ex machina out of nowhere and they aren't OP. The only thing that DOES make them OP is Jurda Parem, which has its own problem of being highly addictive and does a number on Nina. There are some problems with the world if you have read the other Grishaverse books (like human amplifiers suddenly being super common), but over all she keeps the magic system simple and doesn't have it cheapen the plot.

2. Character driven. The characters are at the heart of Six of Crows. The heist is important, yes, but its all about the characters and their relationships. The plot is small stuff compared to the Grishaverse. There we're dealing with war and world bending conflicts. Not a bunch of crazy kids trying to make money and survive. And that means we can focus more on individual arcs and such. Also, because of this:

3. Moral ambiguity. Because there's more room for character arcs, we also have more room for moral ambiguity. Characters are allowed to be selfish. They're allowed to do bad things. And the books aren't trying to convey some MORAL lesson. No one is coming out of the closet with a broom to shame us from liking Kaz because the text frames him as one of the protagonists (even if he's not heroic). The grisha trilogy, on the other hand, gets very stuck in the archetypal roles it assigns the characters. Alina is the hero. Aleksander is the villain. Characters' moralities are decided by whether or not they side with the "good guys" or "bad guys". There is no such dichotomy in Six of Crows. There are neutral people, bad people and worse people.

I honestly am amazed the series were written by the same woman. I think she grew since the first trilogy for sure. But then how did she go back and write the Nikolai duology if she improved so much? Simple. Because instead of telling her own story with the Nikolai duology, she set out to try to "fix" the problems with the original. Only she was fixing the wrong problems and retconning material from the book rather than just moving on. The Nikolai Duology is weighed down by the problems of the original trilogy while Six of Crows is allowed to be its own thing.

That said, Six of Crows has problems. Leigh cheats on POV a lot. In order to mislead the audience she'll hold back info that the POV character would FOR SURE know because she needs to get her twist. She's also sometimes a little too explicit about what the characters are feeling. As if she is afraid of us interpreting it "wrong" so she has to spell it out extremely clearly.

But these are the types of problems I can ignore well enough. Six of Crows is kind of a diamond in the rough for me. But it all warrants discussion.

#shadow and bone #sab meta #sab salt #six of crows #leigh bardugo critical #asks

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xxiaoyang · 4 years

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lucid | xiaojun (m)

xiaojun has one too many secrets, one of them proving much harder to hide

words: 4.5k

warnings/tags: smut, dom!reader, sub!xiaojun, virgin!xiaojun, build up, masturbation, handjobs, feelings, comfort, xiaojun is kinda baby

a/n: i have no idea what to tag this it’s just me not being able to shut up about dejun but enjoy~

to you, it was pretty obvious you had a thing for xiaojun. or at least you thought it was, but the boy seemed entirely oblivious to it. which thinking about it was probably for the best. xiaojun was most passionate about his music and performing and you'd never want to jeopardize that, even if you did stand a chance. so you kept your feelings at bay, as much as you could working beside the beautiful man. you did your job and helped him do his, and that's how it was.

xiaojun was naturally friendly and developing a friendship with him came easily, the two of you being comfortable enough with one another to go past something strictly business. and that comfort helped with your job, being one of the staff who helps with styling and makeup. makeup artist was your primary role, so you spent a lot of days being up close and personal, which was probably no good for your health, but was the closest you could get to your deeper desires. you had learned to be content with that.

what you failed to pick up on was that xiaojun harbored feelings of his own. the not-so-subtle stares, the fond eyes he held for you. the way he hung on every word when you spoke and how he reveled in your speech when you shared tiny details about yourself with him.

xiaojun thought and felt similarly to you, thinking that it wouldn't be the best idea to get involved, but also that you wouldn't want a guy like him. he didn't think anything was really wrong with him, but when he compared himself to the other guys, he felt like he wasn't enough. to be frank, he felt too inexperienced.

to xiaojun, you were so smart, insightful, always ready to help and so capable. you weren't that far from his age, but still he couldn't help but look up to you. you were all of those things without even being condescending, only ever lifting the people around you up and encouraging them. which is probably why xiaojun's brain felt so liberated to let it get this far. he just hoped you'd never catch on to his lingering eyes and you could just stay like this, as his kind noona, as his friend.

but of course, secrets can only stay hidden for so long.

okay, so maybe xiaojun had a little problem on his hands. in his humble opinion, he'd say a pretty decent sized problem, but a problem nonetheless. and he only had maybe five minutes to solve it before he had to get his makeup done. by you. he could not let you see him like this.

he didn't mean to get this way, usually he was good at controlling his urges and suppressing any feelings that accompanied them, but when you showed up to the studio for the day, he never stood a chance. you had decided to wear a dress today. different from your usual loose fitting pants and tops, this dress was more form fitting, hugging your torso and allowing his eager eyes to take in the curve of your chest all the way down to your hips where it was a little more flared to reveal your pretty legs.

fuck, this wasn't helping. xiaojun threw himself back against the wall and held his face in his hands, feeling disappointed with himself that he'd think such lewd things about you, and as a result, be sporting a very noticeable hard on in his pants right now.

he had already been in here for ten minutes, excusing himself almost immediately upon your arrival and retreating to a single person dressing room to try to calm himself down. but it wasn’t going away, and he only had a few minutes before he needed to get ready for the shoot. where he'd have to be next to you. with you looking at him with your pretty big eyes and leaning over to apply his makeup and your soft touches on his jaw when you hold his face steady, and your skin peeking out from the lower neckline of the dress and nope. he couldn't go out there like this. it wasn't even going down, how was he going to face you?

xiaojun felt the frustration filling him rapidly, panic joining the flood to his senses, and he knew there was only one way to get rid of this in time. and it made him feel sick. he hated that the idea even entered his brain. he was normally too shy to even participate in conversation that was remotely sexual in nature, never mind do something so dirty where anyone could see him. was he really about to jerk off in a dressing room? he glanced at the time on his phone. he had enough time to bust one out.

but it wasn't that easy. even as hard and aching as he was, he was hesitant with his touches, trying to keep from making any sounds that would allude to what was going on in here. more than that, he couldn't stop thinking of you. thinking of your warm voice and even warmer eyes and how disgusted you would probably be with him if you knew what he was doing. he was disgusted with himself. he felt like such a pervert doing this without your knowledge. he imagined the disappointment in your eyes if you ever found out and it made him want to cry. tears were already welling up out of frustration and shame and he couldn't keep going.

xiaojun kneeled down on the ground hunched over with his head in his hands, probably looking as disgraceful as he felt. he tried his best not to cry, but thought maybe if he did it would kill his boner. he didn't want you to see his eyes and ask what was wrong, though, so he just tried to calm himself and breathe.

in his concentration he hadn't realized he'd been there for more than five minutes, already being past the time he needed to start getting his makeup done. he didn't notice your soft footsteps approaching the door. he didn't even notice your careful knocks on the door or the click of the doorknob twisting and revealing his pitiful form to you.

it had been a while since xiaojun had literally ran away earlier. you’d walked into the set and greeted the rest of the boys, and before you could even get to xiaojun he was booking it to the dressing rooms. figuring that he just needed some space, you paid little mind to it, growing increasingly concerned only when you saw the time tick by on the clock, every other member already made up and ready for the shoot. you decided at this point it was okay to look for him and at least see what was going on and try to get him back to start the day. you never in your wildest dreams expected to walk in on what you were seeing now.

xiaojun was all but crumpled on the floor, his face buried in his palms, his shoulders shaky, and his pants down to his knees on the floor. you couldn't stop your eyes from wandering south and that's when you saw the tent in his gray briefs, a large wet spot spread over the front. he still hadn't noticed your presence, and you were thankful cause you were sure the look on your face was absolutely ridiculous.

your heart felt like it was in your ass and you were hit with three overwhelming desires. the first, to rush to his side and try to comfort him and find out what's wrong. the second, to close the door and find a room of your own cause you were definitely soaking your panties now. and the third and most prominent, you wanted to help him relieve his problem.

you did none of those as you now had the attention of xiaojun, who nearly jumped out of his skin when he looked up and saw you in the doorway, his heart two beats shy of a heart attack. he gaped at you, floundering for the words to say as he just curled into a ball and did his best to hide himself. when you said and did nothing, he swallowed thickly and said the only thing his brain could muster.

"noona, i'm so sorry, it's not what it looks like."

if he was on the verge of crying before, now he felt like he was going to break down. tears stung at his eyes as he watched your face, blurry through his tears. he fucked up. he fucked everything up. xiaojun let his head fall between his knees and hugged them close to his chest, trying to soothe himself and also astral project to a place where he hadn't just been caught like this, by you.

you snapped out of your stupor at the sound of his voice breaking into a small sob, jumping into action, closing and locking the door behind you and carefully approaching him on the floor. to hell with the shoot. they could do all the other boys first. right now, you had to figure out what happened here.

you kneeled a few inches away from xiaojun, a tentative hand coming to rest on his elbow, you figured that was the safest spot. you moved it to his knee when he didn't respond to your touch and decided to break the ice.

"junie, what's the matter?" you tried to sound as soft and neutral as possible. he cried harder at your words and you felt your heart clench with sadness. you had decided that you hated seeing xiaojun cry more than anything in the world. and you needed to make it to stop.

you tested the waters and put your hands on his shoulders, gently rubbing them in an attempt to calm him. "hey, it's okay. you don't have to say anything if you don't want to, but is there anything i can do to make you feel better?"

of course, you were still so kind to him, even when he was being a creep like this. he didn't deserve it. he didn't deserve your help. but he was so humiliated he couldn't move. he didn't know what to do. he wanted to come clean just so he could rid himself of these burdensome feelings and at least know he was honest. maybe you would understand. you were always so understanding. he whined and shook his head miserably.

you were glad to at least get a response from him, now wondering if your presence was unwanted. you decided to push a little further and if he didn't budge, you would leave. pretend you never saw anything.

"no, you don't want me to help? do you want me to leave you alone?"

you were being so patient and now he was just being rude. he huffed and shook his head faster, hoping you'd accept his nonverbal responses.

you understood that he didn't want you to leave, he just needed some time, so you carried on caressing his shoulders.

"can you tell me what happened?"

honestly, you had a pretty good idea, if the still present bulge in his briefs was any indication, but you weren't sure how he ended up like this. he was already upset before he’d noticed you walked in on him, so it couldn't just be embarrassment. you wanted to hear it from him.

xiaojun let out a shaky breath, no longer crying and just recovering from the sobs that left him. he knew he had to explain himself. he realized that letting you make your own story would probably feel worse to him than even your worst reaction to the truth. so he steadied his breathing and lifted his head, still covered by his hands. he wasn't ready to see you yet.

"i don't want you to get mad at me, but i’ll understand if you do."

okay, now you were really confused. why would you be mad at him... for being caught jerking off? clearly something was wrong beforehand, but you still walked in on him. shouldn't he be upset over that? you stayed silent and squeezed his shoulder, silently telling him to continue.

he rubbed at his eyes and sighed. this is it. there's no going back from here. he's going to tell you the truth and everything will be different. at best, you'll pretend that it doesn't bother you and just be mildly uncomfortable around him and at worst, you'll be repulsed by him and avoid working with him in the future. maybe even quit working for the group. he pushed down those thoughts. he owed you the truth.

his voice sounded foreign to him when he started speaking, hoarse and small to his own ears. he peeled his hands from his face but kept his head down, not wanting to see the look on your face as he poured himself out to you.

"i'm really sorry, noona. i didn't mean to. i didn't want to do this, i just couldn't control it. i thought it would go away on its own and when it didn't i tried to make it go away and it still didn't and i just felt so awful cause i thought such dirty things about you. i just can't help it. i..." he hesitated, unsure whether it was weird to include this but figuring if he's gone this far, he should bare it all and let you decide with the whole truth.

"i just like you a lot. you're so good to me and you're so beautiful and i couldn't stop my mind from wandering but i know it's wrong and i understand if you never want to talk to me again. i just don't want you to think of me like this."

your head felt numb. you had stopped your small motions on his shoulders, needing all your focus to comprehend his words. he was like this... because of you? he liked you?

your heartbeat increased to a steady hum, vibrating in your chest at his confession. there was so much to unpack, and much you'd have to address later, but for now the boy you had such strong feelings for needed your help, and needed to be relieved from his guilt.

without speaking you placed a hand on his jaw, raising his head to look into his eyes. they were red and puffy and he looked so pitiful yet so pretty. you were sure you'd started daydreaming in the studio and this was all fabricated in your mind. but the way xiaojun was searching your eyes was real, and the way he leaned into your touch, now realizing you had been stroking his cheek this whole time, was very real.

you wanted to take it slow, to comfort him and tell him it was okay, but you were still vaguely aware of the passing of time and knew you didn't have much of it. you needed to get your hands on him - now.

"can i help you?"

was he hearing that right? did you mean what he thought you meant? not only had you not gotten upset with him, but you wanted to help him. does that mean you feel the same? or at least want him in the same way?

as if reading his mind, you nodded, a small smile spreading over your delicate pink lips.

you realized he needed a little more assurance before you could go on. "i like you too, junie, a lot. i never wanted to act on it, but i can't help it either. and i'd really like to help you, if that's okay." your eyes flicked down to his problem.

surely he was imagining this. you hand combing through his bangs brought him down to earth and he could only nod. he didn't even just want you at this point. he needed you.

"let me make it better, junie." the nickname rolling off your tongue and sending a shiver down his spine.

you leaned in slowly, eyes on his lips before fluttering closed as you hovered barely an inch away from him, his hot breath grazing your skin.

to your surprise, he closed the gap and pressed his lips against yours, desperation flowing through him. you led him in moving your lips, deepening the kiss and relishing how soft his were. heat rushed through you and you felt greed rising up in you. you wanted more. you needed to taste him.

poking at his lips with your tongue you pushed into his mouth, his lips instantly parting for you with a gasp, and you licked at his tongue with your own.

xiaojun's breathing picked up and you knew he was still feeling it. he wanted this just as much. deciding to be forward you push one of his legs down by his knee, letting your hand slowly crawl up his thigh.

he struggled to keep up with your kiss, your tongue twirling hypnotically around his, freezing when he felt your hand on his thigh. panic took over his senses once again, realizing he had left out one minor detail. he was a virgin.

"n-noona."

you pulled yourself from him reluctantly, looking back into his eyes that were angled with worry. "what's wrong? is it too much?"

he straightened against the wall and shook his head, trying to look confident. he need to look a little less pathetic when he said this.

"i've... i've never done this before." he fascinated himself with the sleeves of his hoodie.

your heart started rolling around in your chest. could he be any sweeter? you felt bad for a second, wanting his first time to be a little nicer than just some quick handjob in a dressing room, but more than anything you wanted to make him feel good.

"that's okay. i'll just use my hands and if you want me to stop at any point i will." you tried not to sound patronizing.

he shook his head again, a pout taking over his face this time. "don't want you to stop. i want you. i just don't know what to do." he blushed.

you had to giggle at how adorable he could be even in a situation like this, taking his face in your hands and pecking his pouted lip. "it's okay, you don't have to do anything. let me take care of you."

your smooth voice melted him to his core, fully surrendering to you and your touch. he trusted you. he wanted you to do whatever you wanted to him. he just nodded and threw his head back against the wall.

you glanced at your phone, already being way past the time he needed to be ready by. what's five more minutes going to do? not wanting to be interrupted, you sent a text to kun, asking him for a few more minutes to talk to xiaojun and to have everyone else go before him. he replied in seconds, apparently having been worried and told you he'd do what he could and to try to hurry and get him back out quickly.

you couldn't tell if he was suspicious from his text alone, so you threw your cares with your phone somewhere on the floor and went back to the beautiful boy in front of you. the same boy who had just admitted his feelings for you and the fact that he was hard because of you.

returning to kneel in front of him, you placed one more quick kiss on his lips and smoothed your hands down his chest to his hips then his thighs, straightening his legs on either side of you. his face and neck were flushed and he barely held eye contact, feeling shy under your gaze. you were drinking up the sight, saving a mental image for later.

without wasting any more time, you palmed him over his briefs, his dick still straining under the material.

"this must be hurting, hm?" you gave him a few experimental strokes through the fabric and he whimpered, nodding frantically at you.

before continuing, you decided not to do this on the floor, your bare knees also starting to go numb on the cold tile, and pulled him to stand. "come on, let's get you on the couch." you helped him pull his pants off over his feet so he didn't trip on them and laid him across the futon.

he looked nervous, fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie, looking so small and fragile under you like this. it ignited a flame in you that you’d yet to place, saving the thought for later to pay attention to the boy beneath you.

you held his eyes as you hooked your fingertips under his briefs, pulling them down his thighs slowly, then letting them trail down his torso to his now bared lower half. his dick stood tall against his stomach, tip an angry red and glistening with precum. you weren’t sure what to expect, but he was bigger than you thought he would be. of course, his dick was just as pretty as him.

"such a big boy" you cooed, not sure where the tone came from but continuing as xiaojun seemed to twitch when you spoke. he turned his head from you.

“noona, don’t tease me.” he sounded so small. you rubbed his thigh and smiled.

“i‘m not. you’re just so cute, so tall and hard for me.” he let out a whine.

you curl your fingers around his length, finally feeling him under your touch, already intoxicated by his warmth and velvety skin. wiping your thumb over his tip, you collect his precum and spread it over his head, earning a loud moan from him.

“as much as i want to hear those pretty noises, you gotta keep it down so no one hears us, okay, baby?”

xiaojun felt warmth pour through his chest. he never knew how much he wanted to hear you call him that. he wanted to be your baby. he nodded and brought his sleeved wrist to his mouth, his other hand gripping his hoodie.

you started pumping him in a steady rhythm, not wanting to make him wait any longer but trying to make it as enjoyable as possible. he was squirming under you doing his best to keep quiet, small moans and breaths escaping anyway. he never knew how good it could feel with your hands bringing him there. he was half convinced he’d never be able to be fully satisfied with his own hand again.

your free hand came to scratch at his inner thigh, making him shiver under you. “tell me, what were you thinking of that had you so worked up?”

he gulped, barely coherent but still finding the words, “was your dress. thinking about your... breasts,” he whispered the word, “wanted to touch them, suck on them, have them all over me.” he was panting, his words having a clear effect on both of you. fuck, he was so hot.

“mm, i would love that, baby. maybe next time, somewhere more private.” you both laughed airily.

you wanted to stay here and pleasure him all day, ignoring your responsibilities in favor of earning pretty sounds from your pretty boy. but you knew you couldn’t be much longer, hoping this would be enough for xiaojun and that you’d have another, better time with him soon.

with that you picked up speed, twisting around his head and paying special attention to the edges, occasionally running you finger over his leaking hole and pulling sharp gasps from him.

maybe it was because it was his first time with someone else, or because he’d been hard for so long, or just because it’s you, but the coil in him was tightening embarrassingly fast. you felt so good.

you could tell he was getting close with his moans increasing in pitch, barely held back by his hand over his mouth. he looked like an angel. he didn’t even look real. but you knew this was because not even your mind could produce something so divine. you wanted to see him let go for you, because of you. with that goal in mind you pumped even faster, making sure the most friction was around his head.

he felt himself falling hard, barely able to control himself under your ministrations. it was so much. his moans bounced off the walls of the small room back to his ears, making him wince. he knew she shouldn’t be so loud but couldn’t stop.

“it’s okay, baby, let go.”

he whimpered, entire body shaking as he was nearing the edge. he wondered if he could find a way to stop time and have more of you to himself, but he was grateful for this for now.

your hand moved up his abdomen, lifting the hoodie up to his chin and putting his torso on full display. you eyed his chest hungrily, flicking a finger over one of his pink buds and drawing a small cry from him. so sensitive. tucking the fabric under his chin, you brought your second hand to his center to cup his balls, gently thumbing at them and learning what he liked best.

between that new sensation and the twisting motion you were using, he was going crazy. you worked him so well, he was surprised he’d even held out this long. almost on cue, he felt the heat pool and he knew he was at his end.

“noona, oh my god,” he was almost thrashing in your hold now, “gonna cum.”

he held off for a few more seconds, unsure if it was okay to just let go like this, but with one particular twist of your wrist, he was sent spiraling over the edge.

“cumming!” his hips bucked into your fist, strings of cum shooting impressively far up his chest, painting him in white.

you let him set the pace with his thrusts as you milked him through, watching his face for a tell of when it was too much. he whined and jerked in your hand and you let him go, dipping a finger in a streak of cum on his tummy and bringing it to your lips to taste.

xiaojun’s eyes blew wide at that, sitting up and putting a hand on your wrist to stop you, but having been too late.

“sweetest thing i’ve ever tasted.”

the tips of his ears burned red and he let himself slump back on the couch. “thank you, noona. i’m sorry you had to find me like that.”

you went to run a hand through his hair but decided against it, wanting him to look somewhat composed when you went back out there.

“don’t be. i’ll admit, i never imagined i’d confess to you under those circumstances, but i can’t say i mind.”

he giggled, and like that the sweet boy you knew was back, smiling and stretching out his arm for your hand.

you held his for a moment before jumping up at the sound of knocking on the door. you didn’t have to wait long to figure out who it was, kun’s stern tone piercing through the wood, “if you brats are finished, we have some work to do!”

biting back a laugh, you and xiaojun rushed to fix yourselves, him pulling you back by the hand to press his lips to yours. “thank you, noona.” you just smiled.

“of course.”

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