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themountainsays · 2 years

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This is runaway Mirabel anon and I finished an outline I don't know if I can write it but I thought you would at least like to see it. Sorry for the length.

1) Chapter 1

a. Starts with Mirabel running away calling herself a failure. At some point some clothes gets ripped and she gets some cuts enough to bleed and loses her glasses.

b. The family realizes she is missing a go looking for her panicked. They find some of clothes parts covered by blood and later a jaguar with one of those bloody cloth pieces in its mouth and as well her broken glasses. They assume her dead Pepa’s lighting kills the jaguar.

c. Mirabel half blind manages to get to a road she find a truck and gets into the back as it drives off and she falls asleep.

d. The family recovers the cloth and glasses and returns home and mourns the lose of Mirabel Abuela says “this is my fault” the adults realize how they failed Mirabel and are determined to honor her memory and treat the remaining kids better.

e. Mirabel is woken up by the truck drivers and they ask who she is and she says Mirabel and doesn’t give anything else they take her to the police who start looking for family and give her to the orphanage run by the nuns until they do they never find anyone.

2) Chapter 2

a. Mirabel grows up in the orphanage at first she struggles and considers running away again but a nun helps her feel that someone cares for her over the years she makes some friends including a police officer who found her who latter became a professor at a local college she begins to help with some of the younger children nuns recommend she becomes a teacher.

b. Life goes on Bruno returns to help in this difficult time and stays Pepa has Antonio and the children grow up in a less controlling environment they still remember and mourn Mirabel but they have successfully gotten over it some point at around 20 years of age Abuela brings up the possibility of her dating Mariano she says no and brings up Dolores loves him. That works out over the years and things goes on for a few years until Isabela comes out than they try to set her up with women.

c. Mirabel wakes up hungover after graduating and gets a knock at her door a her teacher and friend tells her he found a job for her as a teacher in a small town and was able to get it for her she’s excited and than learns it’s in Encanto she doesn’t want to tell him her story since he knew her for a long time and thinks everyone will be angry if she knew where she came from so she takes the job her friend pulled strings for her to get.

3) Chapter 3

a. Mirabel arrives in Encanto one night and teaches the next day Antonio is in her class and after some shenanigans with the animals they start to get along

b. The family is talking about Isabela’s lack of girlfriend bringing up Dolores and Marino and the fact that there currently aren’t any more women who like women for her to date. Antonio comes home and the conversation brings gets to school and he calls his teacher Mirabel the mood darkens as everyone remembers her and Pepa gets a cloud but is saved when Dolores says it’s rude to call adults by first names he explains she doesn’t have a last name and goes on about how wonderful she is the family realizes they haven’t meet the new teacher so go off to introduce themselves Isabela brings a pot which she’ll grow a plant in as a gift. Antonio stays behind to do homework.

c. Mirabel is grading school work family shows up she is at first cold but after some pleasantries someone asks about her lack of a last name. She tells the story of her life leaving out details. She hears thunder and sees rain pouring and assumes that her family is angry at her and braces herself. She than gets embraced by Julieta who is crying into shoulder she notices everyone else is crying minus Marino who is comforting Dolores Pepa also has a cloud. Are they collect themselves they explain what happened. Mirabel is about to tell them but out of fear of their anger doesn’t they leave and Mirabel realizes that they’ve improved and wishes she could get closer.

d. The next day as Antonio is getting ready for school is aunt gives him a second lunch and tells him to give it Mirabel.

4) Chapter 4

a. Mirabel gets lunches sent by Julieta every day which she loves since it reminds her of her old life as well as other things Isabela and others shows up sometimes to deliver the sometime.

b. At some point the family invites her over for dinner she at first evades but later decides to go after she runs out of excuses and her desire to get closer and eat her mother’s food.

c. She shows up and Casita being a magic house recognizes her and is happy to see family doesn’t put it together

d. They get talking Mirabel doesn’t drink much even if she normally would as to keep her from spilling information at some point she brings up having had a girlfriend in the past she thinks there gonna hate her but everyone eyes widen a bit and then glance at Isabela

e. Isabela offers to walk Mirabel home there is no reason but she accepts and Isabela tries to flirt on the way home and asks her out she doesn’t give a clear answer

5) Chapter 5

a. Mirabel thinks about Isabela’s offer a part of her wants to accept since Isa is pretty and seems nice and she’s disgusted by herself for her feelings towards her sister but is worried that she’ll have to explain why if she was said no or that they’ll hate her so she convinces herself she can say just and get close and get close to the family as a friend and not break any hearts or fall in love.

b. Isabela after a day goes and asks again and Mirabel says yes and Isabela makes plans to take her on a date.

c. Isabela is preparing for her date the rest of the family is giving advice and being overbearing they all want it to go good.

d. They go out on a lunch date and walk around town Mirabel intends to make sure they don’t click but forgets and gets captivated after a while they go back to casita someone makes the joke about staying forever gives kiss on cheek

e. Mirabel realizes that the date went to well but brushes it off “this relationship won’t work it’s not like any of my other ones did"

6) Chapter 6

a. A few months pass and things are going great Isabela is happy Mirabel acts odd by Isabela assumes a mix of shy and catholic guilt at some point she gets Mirabel’s birthday which is the anniversary of the day her sister went missing. An artisan fair is coming to town, and she decides to take her on a date to the fair.

b. Mirabel gets ready for her date she is wondering why this relationship is going well and starts to think of Isabela but tells herself she doesn’t love her like that she just wants to get close with her sister and family she heads off on her date.

c. They walk along the fair looking at the stalls and things they can get Isabela offers to buy Mirabel almost anything she looks at since Mirabel is a teacher and not making much especially since she is trying to save they go around buy a lot little things and see a show at some point they get something to from a stall it comes with Alcohol Mirabel doesn’t want to drink so Isabela drinks both of theirs.

d. This turns out to be a bad idea since Isa is a light weight and gets drunk. So Mirabel decides to take her back home this proves to be more difficult than expected as she doesn’t want to go back and thinks she’s fine Mirabel convinces her by telling her she wants go on a walk and she agrees so they go on a walk around the town Mirabel needs hold her to keep her steady Isabela is very flirty and is hugging Mirabel. At some point they arrive at a point and Isabela stops and starts crying it’s the anniversary of Mirabel going missing and something reminded her of it. She says she’s a horrible person and sister since she failed her sister and Mirabel tries to comfort her but when that doesn’t work she just holds her and lets her cry while being racked with guilt and scared to tell her the truth eventually Isabela calms down and Mirabel starts taking her back Isabela tries to get Mirabel to spend the night with her either at Mirabel’s house or hers. Mirabel realizes what she is trying to do and is freaked out by the fact that this is her sister and that she wants to say yes. She tells her no because she is drunk and she even if they weren’t related she wouldn’t take advantage of someone drunk and tells her they aren’t married so even if she was sober she wouldn’t do it. She eventually drops Mirabel off at home and goes home concerned about her feelings.

e. Isabela wakes up hungover and goes downstairs she learns from Dolores some of what happened including that Mirabel said she wouldn’t spend the night with her since the weren’t married. Abuela approves of that and makes comments about how some others didn’t do that looking at Pepa & Felix and Dolores & Mariano who play innocent while Julieta & Agustin pretend they aren’t there Isabela is now thinking of one thing marriage.

7) Chapter 7

a. Mirabel is panicking about her feelings and is wondering what she should do because she is in love with Isabela.

b. Isabela talks to the family about marrying Mirabel which they all approve of they had been trying to essentially adopt Mirabel for a while now and her marrying into the family would complete their efforts so they all give their blessings and start coming up with a plan.

c. Mirabel is still panicking but comes up with a plan she is going to try and slowly end the relationship and end with as little hard feelings as possible if that fails she would leave town when the school year ends and send a letter explaining what happened she knows the family would hate her but hated before so she’ll do what she did than and runaway. She than goes to Casita for dinner which she normally does. Julieta usually goes all out whenever Mirabel visits but this time she’s out done herself than Isabela starts talking like she’s giving a speech and Mirabel's heart drops she knows what’s happening than Isabela gets on one knee and pulls out a small box and asks Mirabel to marry her.

d. Isabela is on one knee holding the ring looking into Mirabel’s eyes and notices Mirabel’s crying than Mirabel says no she can’t and being with her was a bad idea. Isabela’s heart breaks and everyone is in shock the weather goes crazy due to Pepa and Mirabel seeing Isabela’s pain says that it’s her own fault and she loves Isabela and wants to marry her but can’t when Isabela and everyone else asks why not she hesitates before yelling out “Because I'm your sister”

8) Chapter 8

a. Everyone goes quite and Mirabel explains everything and why she did and what her plans where she apologizes and says she'll go back home and leave town once the school year ends. Julieta runs up and hugs her crying about how she missed her, apologies for failing her and telling she should stay . She is followed closely by Agustin and the rest of the original adults who all apologize and tell her to stay. Abuela goes up and apologizes for what she did and admits fault and tells her she’ll support Mirabel in whatever she wants to year. Isabela walks up and hugs her and tells her she’ll support her and help her however she wants whether as the sister she failed to be or something more and askes again making it clear she’ll support and love Mirabel no matter what she says the adults all give the same response of support and love and she accepts.

b. They all embrace and celebrate and reunite with Mirabel asking questions about other things and showing everyone how she can hold her alcohol better than Isabela and brings up she is not as opposed to spending nights before marriage as she let on. Abuela intervenes saying while she overjoyed to have Mirabel back that Mirabel will have to live in her house until the wedding everyone protests but she says one the moral not before marriage argument and they don’t have a room for her to which everyone volunteers to room with Mirabel and Isabela promises to be good, and lastly she says while they are willing to accept Mirabel marrying her sister everyone else probably won’t so they’ll have to keep it a secret and her randomly moving in before the wedding would be suspicious. They all reluctantly agree and Abuela softens saying that they aren’t gonna waste any time in planning the wedding and begins talking about plans

c. The next 2 months go by both incredibly fast and unbearably slow wedding preparations are made Mirabel’s stuff move houses and she spends more time at Casita her old teacher who got Mirabel the job arrives he hears some information about Mirabel’s disappearance and puts two and two together he considers asking directly but decides against Mirabel is smart enough to have heard and put it together and honest enough to tell the family this is confirmed when he talks to Mirabel and she says she and the family know about it and think it’s an interesting coincidence (wink) he is fine as long as they all know he isn’t gonna get in the way of Mirabel’s happiness especially after how hard her life has been. The wedding happens Mirabel now officially for legal purposes gets the name Madrigal and everything is happy.

Ahhh anon this is all perfect, omg you have to write it 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

#if you want to ofc!!#u have my suppport uwu #madrigalcest #isamira #shipcest #ahh

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theviruseye · 6 months

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Selfish Stories Rock- A Selfish Reading of “Kids at War”

Depending on who’s asked, an author who writes themselves into their stories is either egotistical and self important, or a mega genius with high emotional intelligence. To be honest, I think it’s a little bit of both. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, not at all. And one might be thinking, “dude, is that really what you took from that entire lecture?” And maybe they might have a point. Charles Hatfield, author of “Hand of Fire: The Comics Art of Jack Kirby” and various other works does an amazing job of explaining the connections of Jack Kirby’s comics with the various things surrounding his life. Overall, the main thing that could be taken away from the lecture is that comics, at least the state that they are in today, would not exist without war. Propaganda, pain, escapism, boyhood; it's not even a debate that Kirby, maybe the most influential person in comic history, made his comics to reflect on his feelings of nostalgia for his discomforting childhood. As Hatfield puts it, “We share our books to our children, continuing to be children, even when they're adults. An unorthodox way of teaching kids to grow up” (Hatfeild). Kirby made stories such as The Newsboy Legion, Boy Commandos, Boy Explorers, Boy’s Ranch just to name a few. While they can be seen as stories written for little boys, and they most certainly are, I feel like there’s more to it. These stories are clearly love letters from

Jack Kirby to his boy self. They are a romanticization of his rough street kid childhood. He’s crafted an aesthetic around his memories of being a rambunctious and ratty boy. These types of comics are what he probably would've wanted to read as a child, but there was nothing like that around at the time for his childhood self to open up and get lost in its pages. They are completely self indulgent, and I love every aspect of that unrestrained story telling. Their wacky and often violent elements are so incredibly boyish and obscene at times. I personally can relate to this type of self indulgence that he put out in his art. At age eleven, I decided that I would become a comic artist. I didn’t care how long it would take, or how much work I would need to put in. All I knew was that I wanted to... no had to be a storyteller. Now that I’m older and my art skills are more developed, I think I can say that eleven year old kid me would be incredibly proud of my current art skills and comic planning drafts. Similarly to Kirby, the type of art and stories that I want to make aren’t really for anyone else but my adolescent self. Like I said before, Kirby was likely making those comics somewhat to be marketed to children, but he also put most of himself into his stories for his own happiness. There’s something so fulfilling about reading a story where the ragtag team of punk kids beat the big bad with the power of friendship and pummeling them into the ground. Because deep down, everyone has that little boy in them who wants to leave the real world for a bit an fantasize about a place where they’re the big dogs.

- Isabella Valenzuela, The Unveiled Egos

#submissionVIRUSeye #VIRUSeye

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angel-shaw · 2 years

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OKAY SO I LIED

Angel is up first 💖 Cuz I said so >:)

These are my headcanons/OC’s for the Redacted ASMR listeners (Warning there is a lot, I tried to dumb it down a bit but still lol)

Angle <3

Name: Leo Evans Gender: gender fluid(bio fem) Pronouns: he/she/they depending on their mood

If they ever have kids Angle would be happy to have their kid(s) to call them mom. They see it as a title rather than a gendered term. I think rather than Mrs. or Mr. they would use Mx. :)

Angle is the oldest out of 4 kids. They have 2 young brothers and 1 younger sister.

Angle helped raise their siblings because their parents worked a lot. Leading them to resort to quick and easy, cheep meals to feed them and their siblings. They started working when they where 13 by just mowing grass in the summer/spring/fall gardening whenever they could and shoveling driveways in the winter. Their siblings would pitch in and they made it into a game.

They learned not to relay on their parents promises to hang out or spend quality time with any of their siblings because they 99% of the time they got called in or had an emergency. So they spent a lot of time trying to make it up to their siblings, making it a point to never lie to them or brake their promises to them.

They never hated their parents because they loved them they where just busy working to get bills payed and get food on the table. Angle wanted to take some stress off of their parents so they asked them to teach them to do taxes and stuff so they could do it well they finally either spent sometime with their siblings or slept. They also started shopping for groceries and clothes for them and their siblings.

They had a relatively small budget for food and stuff so they got a lot of cheap stuff and relied heavily on the food they got from the school. Saving up any left overs for new clothes or some presents for their siblings.

Well they only got very little for any Hollidays they wanted to make each one special for the others. That’s when they got into decorating and stuff.

They tried to never shoplift but their younger brother (who is the second oldest) would take hygiene products, as he noticed they were getting low so his sibling wouldn’t have to worry about management into the budget. They didn’t realize this until later on (adults) because they were too focused on everything else.

They tried to keep up with school and their homework but found it hard in between taking care of and helping their siblings. They where unfortunate in the teachers department for a wile so they got more stressed by that. “You can’t just not do your homework! It’s important and you will fail without it!” “Sr. all due respect I’m trying I help my siblings with theirs and-“ “Do it well they are sleeping! You need to get it done period! The next time you don’t turn in your homework when it’s due its detention Evans!” Also stuff like “You have free time. You need to use that to study and do your work. Your just being lazy.” So they always felt a need to work themselves to the point of exhaustion. (Their siblings tried the best they could to help but they where also just kids)

They considered dropping out to get a job but their brother (3rd oldest) helped them out.

Once they graduated they got a full time job.They worked at an office job where they handled financial stuff at first. They moved out to their own apartment but made sure to stop by and help out their siblings with anything they needed. Especially when they where sick.

Their apartment was all most always messy and they never eat anything other than cheap stuff or things from their friends. The oldest brother learned how to cook decent meals and their parents job raises so they could afforded some better things. They stoped by for food a lot because they where invited. Their siblings helped them clean their apartment a few different times and never judged them for it.

They had two really close friends in high school that also helped them out. They understood that they had problems with control and stuff so they always listened and didn’t get upset at any fits they had.( got some real one 🙏)

They have a few different ex’s Michael is one obviously. They had an ex-named John, Ethan, and Justin. Those are the ones that lasted longer than 2 months, they had others but their siblings always cut them off quick(and for good reason)

They started dating Justin is high school and he used them for their body which made their gender dysphoria extremely bad. They had it before, but were still coming to terms with it. He wrecked their self-confidence and it took them a wile to fix it. He cheated on them with a girl in their Science class. That was the final straw for their sister and she made them brake up with the dushbag. They dated for almost a year.

Them came Ethan who love bomed them. This was after he found out Justin had cheated on them and said his girlfriend cheated on him and was abusive as well.(he was lying). Whenever he wanted something and he didn’t get his way he started saying that they where started to act like his ex. They dated for 6 mouths before he slipped up and said it in front of their siblings and got kicked out real quick.

They hadn’t dated in a few years and met John after they moved out. They met him at work and they hit it off. It went well for a while till one day he come home (their apartment they where letting him stay in FOR FREE) drunk for the 3rd and started yelling and throwing things. They left the apartment and walked to their parents house to cry in their siblings arms (poor baby) They went back in the morning with their their brother(the older one) and he was still their, still drunk. They had amused he would be passed out but nooo of course he wasn’t. Which is why their brother instead to walk them home. He put himself between them and ended up getting hit in the face with a bottle. They snapped and knocked him out (work it bitch) . They checked on their brother and called the police,after explaining what happened they where just told to be more careful and to next time call the police when the throwing started so it could get stoped before it got worse than it was. Safe to say that he was not welcome back and they broke up. Sadly he didn’t want to let them go and started begging for them to take him back. They went to HR. But they where useless so they quit and changed jobs. They changed the locks on their apartment and their friend stayed over for awhile. (15 months)

Said friend was Michael who they had met though their other friend. He offered to stay over and help them out for a wile. He slept on the couch for the first few weeks. He helped them get their mental state to a better place and respected it when they came out to him. That’s when they started dateing. He put his arms on their shoulders and told them he cared for them and that they didn’t have to worry anymore. They asked if they could kiss him and he said yes. It evolved from there and they where together for almost 1 and a half years. They had a really heathy relationship and ended up adopting their cat Sweetie when her mom got hit by a car and was left calling out for her mom. Michael had a huge sweet spots for cats, and of course they did to. Sweetie obviously favored Michael, of course she loved them too but she always came when michael called. They broke up on decent terms.(Fell out of love and he wanted to figure himself out.) It still hurt but it wasn’t anything like their other relationships. They had gotten an apartment together so he helped them find a new and in a safe area (away from their ex who still tried to win they back sometimes) They left Sweetie with him when they moved out. They talked on occasion about the cat but both agreed they should probably keep their distance.

The day they met David they walked into a home where store cuz they needed ✨light bulbs✨ and that’s when they saw David. They thought he was cute and grabbed what they needed (+ a little eye candy) and head for the self checkout. They put the bag in their car and went across town to get gas cuz it was ✨cheaper✨ as they where filling their tank they where watching YouTube and an add popped up for a game they had been wanting in a store right across the street. Of course they went to go check it out. They walked in and started looking for it. They noticed David again when they went to check out (they had gotten the game and a new cover for their switch cuz it had Link on it). They knew they saw in at the hardware store and still thought he was cute. But of course a few warnings went off because they where raised to be careful and they raised their siblings that way to. They where going to go home but they started to feel hungry and remembered about the fast food joint relatively close to their apartment and decided to go their for lunch. Then BOOM 💥 A wild David appeared! They said fuck it and made a move. You know where it went from their.

They told David a lot about their childhood but left out a lot of the sad stuff because they still where early in the relationship and they didn’t want to overwhelm him. ( cough cough-you can blame a certain ex for that) of course they told him about their cat and Michael. They mentioned they had other exes to but tried not going into a lot of detail. Of course David found out eventually. (Later on I think.) When John saw them with David outside and he ran up to them smothering them. Of course they tried to push him off, panicking, and David very quickly stepped in and pulled him off of them. Their ex tried to say they where his and David almost growled at him. Once they got away from the bitch David was going to ask who the hell he was but saw that his Angle was close to tears and shaking. He took them home and they told him what happened between them. Of course he was concerned and asked why they hadn’t told him. (He was calm here and wasn’t upset like the jealousy video) (that video made me cry by the way.) They told him they thought he stoped and they just wanted to forget about him. David understand and comforted them. (I WANT HIM OMG T^T)

So I have seen a lot of the Pups AU and I am engulfed by it. So for a little bit of context David and Angle had 2 kids Gabriel who was their first Kido and Natalie the second one

I absolutely love them and I want to add a few things myself - go check it out it is truly amazing 🥰 such amazingness

So because Angle is biologically a female for my OC they gave birth (I would like to say that this makes their identity no less valid and if you think trans people (specifically trans FTM, can’t give birth because it makes them “not a man “or “proves they are a woman “) get the fuck out please and thank you 🥰)

I said up at the top that I think Leo would use the term mom more as a role than gendered thing :) so somethings here include mom as a title they use :)

I think they had a C-section for Gabriel and he had some problems at birth. He was born with pneumonia and had to be care for in the hospital for a wile ( my brother was born pre-mature and with pneumonia so this is a little bit of a personal insert. My brother is fine btw it ok :D )

This of course worried David and Leo both but Gabriel was ok after getting the proper treatment, with Magic the recovery process was a lot easier to. When they finally got to bring him home the others where all over him. Of course everyone respected boundaries and didn’t push for Leo or David to let them hold or say hi or anything. About a week after they came home they invited Ash,babe,Milo,sweetheart,Sam,Darlin and Marie to come over a met/hold Gabriel for the first time. It was really sweet and Leo took a much needed rest with David as Darlin( this will make more sense when I post theirs lol) and Marie feed/held him.

When Gabriel first started going to school Angle was really worried, obviously, just nerves and Christian help with that because he was also a Parent and his kid was all ready in school. When Natalie was born she did not have any health problems and they could come home a lot sooner. Leo took a lot of videos of Gabriel and Natalie when they were babies and continue to as they grow up because they are adorable and want them to be able to look back at it. (Also because David never got to know his mom and only knew her though story’s and pictures,they wanted to make sure that if anything happened to them their kids would have something)

Also Leo is super protective of their kids. They got called to the school once because Natalie’s skirt was “to short” and she was in a tank top. And when I say Leo went off on the teacher that said that and the vice principal, I mean they had both of them almost trembling. After that they tried calling David. Ya no that didn’t work ether. Turns out he’s also protective and won’t stand for bigotry.

When Natalie was in middle school after her powers had manifested she was being picked on by some older kids. Well normally she wouldn’t take it she was tired and just wanted to go to lunch. A freelancer, a water elemental and a air elemental were the ones picking on her. A fire elemental that was her age stepped in and told them to go away. The freelancer started arguing with the fire elemental and she started to heat up (no fault of her own) and this is when the water and air elemental got the bright idea to poor freezing water on the two girls. Natalie noticed and went into defensive mode pushing the girl out of the way and tackling the water elemental. The freelancer then decided to use fire and ended up burning Natalie‘s side Natalie shifted to protect the other fire elemental girl. Darlin’s kid gave Natalie their gym clothes and her and the fire elemental girl where taken into the office. Angel was called along with the other girls father. Angel was told that her daughter had been fighting and needed to come be picked up they we’re told nothing about the severe burn on Natalies side. She of course want to the school and was on the phone with David when they spotted the fire elementals father outside of the office and she asked. It ended up being Damien who was their with Gavin because of course Damien was upset that his daughter had been fighting, but was concerned because she never got into a five before. So Gavin went with him after he got the call. They talked and what Damien was told was that his daughter had gotten into a fight with another girl in her grade and burned her. Of course this worried Leo because they were told nothing about their daughter being burned. When they were allowed into the office to speak to the kids Angel immediately went out to Natalie and asked what happened and if she was ok. Natalie said she was fine and immediately started defending the girl, saying that she had defended her and she wasn’t the one to burn her. Gavin offered to heal her and Leo thanked him repeatedly. After hearing the full story all of them where upset. Damien‘s daughter was really worried because she thought she did something wrong. Leo quickly assured her that she did nothing wrong and thanked her for trying to help her daughter. Leo then told her daughter to go out in the hall with Damien’s daughter and to plug her ears because “Mommy’s gonna be really loud for a minute ok?” They proceeded to tear the principal the vice principal a new one they told them if something like this ever happened again that they would no longer have a job. they apologize to Damien and Gavin for the misunderstanding and they exchange phone numbers. When David found out he was pissed. So that’s all I have Angle I’m tired and I’m not gonna proof read this rn,I’ll do it tomorrow and edit any mistakes, if you notice any please point them out kindly :) thank you and I have you enjoyed I probably will make a few short one shots about Angle and their ex’s and David :) I

#redacted asmr #redacted angel #redacted davey #redacted david shaw #oc tag #redacted darlin #redacted sam #redacted marie #redacted gavin #redacted damien

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reidjumpers · 3 years

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silver platter

Spencer Reid x Reader

Warning/Includes: none! Spencer being happy

Summary: Spencer meeting your family for the first time

Note: this idea pop up out of nowhere. he is truly every in law's dream dare i say.

There was a line of dust flour across your face, Spencer noticed. There was laughter and pure happiness hanging in the air. It made him both fuzzy and dizzy, an odd combination that he couldn’t really tell why it was there in the first place.

When you had told him that your parents invited him to join your family gathering, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go. He had met your parents two times in total throughout his life before, once as a federal agent and a coworker and once as a good friend of yours. It would be his third now, and for most, they wouldn’t be as nervous as he would be when the prospect popped up for the third time.

But this time, he would face your parents as a man who loved you with all of his heart, a man who proudly called himself your boyfriend over and over.

You had warned him this morning that while he had met your parents twice, he hadn’t met the rest of your extended family before. A harmless warning that you had come from a big family with aunts who love to pester new people with a bunch of questions and cousins who love to poke some fun here and there. You had warned him, with the most serious look you could muster that did nothing to him but made him want to laugh at the way you tiptoe to make yourself look taller, nose scrunched adorably, that while your family are good, they could be draining.

Spencer had just smiled. Placing a chaste kiss to your forehead in order to mask his own unnerving nervousness brewing at the pit of his stomach. It was endearing that when it should be him who worried about this whole ordeal of meeting your whole extended family for the first time, it was you who took all the downfall and stressing out about his own comfort. He kissed you again, to reassure you that it would be fine, while gently tucking away his own worry so you don’t have to worry about anything else.

His worry and nervousness almost immediately melted away when he entered your parents’ threshold. Your mother smiled and lit up brighter than a Christmas tree when she spotted you hand-in-hand with him. Spencer’s eyes widened in both surprise and delight as your mother embraced him like he was one of her own, welcoming you and ushered you both inside.

It was hard for his nervousness or any unpleasant feeling to grow inside. All of them are lovely people who had loved you twice as much, and consequently, had extended their love for him too with a wide welcoming arm. It was hard for him not to fall into the warmth of a familial love when he saw you surrounded by it, a bright smile on your face as you reminisced childhood stories with your cousins, or letting out defensive screeches when your mother pulled out an old photo album.

You were such a cute kid, he thought, and an even cuter adult now.

He found himself bombarded with innocents, endearing questions from your aunts. It was hard for him not to smile and laugh, as they ask about his favorite food and insist on knowing his input on their cooking. He found himself cackling at the game of wild play tag your nieces and nephews conduct, engaged in a really competitive monopoly game with your cousins, and had a nice small talk with your siblings. It made him crave to have a family of his own.

From the corner of his eyes, he caught you smiling at him as he sat in the middle of the living room. Your nieces and nephews surrounded him like he was the center of the universe, eyes wide with anticipation and excitement as he hung his magic trick in the air. A loud, excited squeal broke as he pulled a string of cards from behind your niece’s ear, and a loud clap and booming laughter coming from the adults made his heart swell.

When he sat and watched you moving around the kitchen with your sister and your cousins, talking animatedly and eagerly about trying a recipe you had always wanted to try, he wondered why he had to be worried in the first place. He sat down at the kitchen counter, tried his best to ignore the whiff smell of freshly baked cookies waiting to cool off in the counter and barely registering your brother slipped into the empty seat next to him, when he was so busy thinking that he was sitting there as no one but a boy who loved you with all of his heart.

When the day finally set and the night slowly came, the excitement had worn out a little bit. The little kids now had ushered into empty rooms, asleep, and tired from running around for the whole day. He found himself sitting in the living room with your father pressing a drink into his hand.

Spencer glanced into the brandy on his hand, bracing himself for the stern talk coming from your father. He remembered Morgan had mentioned it once to him in a teasing manner when he revealed he’d visited your family for the weekend that some fathers are protective and unkind to boyfriends.

“I’m glad that Y/N is coming with you,” your father instead started the conversation with an easy opening like that. Spencer glanced up from his drink with a barely concealed surprise, didn’t expecting such a statement coming when he had been preparing himself for another.

Spencer took a small sip into his drink to ground himself. “It’s honestly an honor that you invited me.”

Your father smiled. He remembered him as a really good man, although barely talked to strangers, but he didn’t make himself look unwelcome or cold to him when he first met him. You had mentioned to him that it took a while for him to warm up to new people, and Spencer couldn’t blame him for the fact that he did take his time too.

“You’re a really good man, Spencer. And if my child were to date any man, I am glad that it’s you.”

Spencer took a sharp breath, gently fiddled with his glass to calm down his erratic heart. Your father had just handed him his approval like it was nothing. A big trust and honor that most probably would work their ass off to have, handed to him on a silver platter.

“I promise I’ll protect Y/N with all my life, Sir.”

“You know Y/N doesn’t need a protection,” your father cocked an eyebrow, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Y/N has always been a fierce and strong child who can handle themselves. If anything, they just need a reminder not to carry the burden of the world alone. You just have to convince them to share the weight with you.”

He nodded, agreeing. Then the conversation flowed like a river after that. He talked about his mother and your father talked about his job and some wild stories coming from it. You emerged from the kitchen fifteen minutes into the conversation, blinking when you spotted him laughing together in an easy conversation with your father, and smiled.

The clock had struck midnight when he found himself laying on your childhood bed in your old room, staring into the ceiling littered with constellation stickers that were haphazardly put. It had been a long day and the exhaustion from the day slowly catching up to him.

“Hey,” you said, whispering as you nuzzled closer to him. There was a line of dust flour across your face, Spencer noticed. And you smelled like cinnamon.

“Hi,” he whispered, shifting closer to you. Although the day had been well-spent in his humble opinion, he couldn’t help but to notice he was mostly away from you and now he is aching to be with you.

And bless your heart, you understand him without a word needed to be said. You moved yourself close to him, hand easily snaking around his torso as your head found its way to the crook his neck. “How was your day?”

“Lovely,” Spencer answered quickly. “I teach Lily some of my magic tricks.”

You huffed at the mention of your niece, frowning at the fact he was so deliberately sharing his magic trick he guarded from anyone but your niece, apparently. Spencer ducked down to kiss your forehead, smiling when you drew a half-hearted pattern on his chest.

“What were you talking about with dad, by the way?”

Spencer’s mind flew to the conversation that he had earlier, his mind replayed the conversation over and over. He smiled as he pulled you closer to him, squeezing your figure slightly. “Nothing. Just an honor handed to me on a silver platter.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds #cm #cm fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #mgg #matthew gray gubler #criminal minds fluff

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gicaarts · 3 years

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My take on @tamak0's draw this in your style on Instagram!

I wanted to make something a bit different from the other posts I saw so I made Luca and Alberto as sea monsters! It was written on the rules that changes on the characters were allowed so I hope that is ok 🥺

That's the situation: it's a sunny day, Alberto is on work break, the underdogs decide to hang out together and get themselves some gelato, they sit on a bench to do some small talk, but suddenly the sky starts leaking, it's nothing but a sudden summer rain, drizzle is all that falls from the sky, but it's enough water to soak their ice cream cones, luckily Giulia now has the habit of carrying an umbrella around with her since she's pretty much going to get in contact with water a lot because of her aquatic friends. Luca doesn't have one though, so he tries his best to protect his gelato from the water with his own hand while they wait for the rain to go away. Meanwhile, Alberto keeps talking about his countless stories as a lifeguard and how he's "kind of an expert" on his job saving people from drowning and teaching little kids how to swim. Poor kitty right there in the corner wasn't having fun at all though, it left its shelter just to take a closer look on the strange and flashy sea monsters but ended up getting taken by the rain and started running as fast as it could before getting completely drenched, the cat ran so fast that the underdogs only noticed it a few seconds before the cat completely disappeared from the place, they all laughed at the situation as soon as they lost sight of it

They are 16-17 in here cause I honestly have no idea of how I would picture them as adults, that's why their designs are kinda lazy too, I sort of had to do this in a rush cause the challenge's end line is almost here so I didn't have exactly enough time to think of better designs, but I guess these ones are enough to get by, I'll definitely change their designs in the future tho, but I've always pictured teen Giulia with long hair in a low ponytail, that's for sure, so I'm glad I had the chance to draw her like this!

I am still very happy with how this came out though, trees and backgrounds are usually my weak spot but surprisingly they were a lot of fun to work on and I'm very proud of how they turned out! I am really satisfied with the colors as well, I love how colorful it looks! I also played around with different colors for shading and it actually looks better than I expected, especially the shading of Giulia's skin!

I like the final result very much so I hope you like it too! 🥺

#luca #alberto #giulia #pixar luca #luca pixar #luca paguro #alberto scorfano #giulia marcovaldo #luca x alberto #luberto #luca movie #luca 2021 #drawn with krita #draw this in your style #dtiys instagram #dtiys #my art #luca fanart #underdogs

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furiousgoldfish · 3 years

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All lies of abusive parents are self serving. Don’t believe me? Watch this:

“You’re stupid, worthless, waste of space!” There’s no reason to say any of this to a child, if the child was actually struggling with learning or finishing tasks it would be something to soothe them over, and work on it together, not a reason to attack. So why do they do it? To convince themselves they’re actually smarter and more important than the child, which they are not. They repeat it just to convince themselves the child isn’t beating them in every avenue of hunanity. Which the child usually does effortlessly since the parents are trash.

“Nobody will ever want you, nobody will hire you, you can’t do anything, you’re lazy, incompentent slob! ” Now if any of that was true, it would firstly reflect bad on the parents. If they ‘raised’ a kid so badly the kid can’t do anything and is even unexploitable by capitalism, they should feel ashamed of themselves. Yet thats not what they’re saying, and they’re usually not saying it to a kid who can’t do anything, it would be extremely cruel to say this to a disabled kid and very obviously evil (not unheard of, tho) no, they say this to the children who already work hard and try their best, and they make a point of repeating this and going overboard to find all or any mistakes. Why? To prevent escape. If their smart, capable and hardworking child realizes the truth, they will plan and achieve to escape and live by their own means. Brainwashing to keep a child trapped at home is extremely self serving, if not explicitly evil.

“You are so disgusting, you should feel ashamed of yourself! Don’t you feel any pity for your poor parent?! You’re heartless and cruel and want me to suffer! ” Other than being a huge projection, lets just look at what picture this framing paints. Apparently what we have here is a parent (?) who Is suffering (?) because their CHILD isn’t taking pity on them. This tells the child that the parent is depending on them, parent’s happiness is depending on them, they have to think about what the parent wants and needs or they’re HURTING the parent. Except, this is parentification, and the reality is reversed. Of course the parent isn’t depending on the child to look after them and make them happy. Does the child own a house? A job? Resources? Food? Emotional maturity to comfort their grown up ass? Did the child concieve them? No. The parent has, or is supposed to have all that, and responsibility to look after the kid. So why are they acting like the kid is the actual parent here and actively causing SUFFERING by not caretaking enough? Because they’re spoiled narcissistic adults who think actual children should neglect themselves, on top of being neglected by parents, and cater to their needs instead. It does not get more gross and seld serving than that. Maybe find a fucking therapist or person your age to ‘take pity’. Heaven knows you never took pity on your own child.

“Nobody will ever love you like I do!” If this was true, they would never say it, for obvious reasons of ‘scaring the child that they would never experience actual love from another person’, do you think anyone who loves the child would ever want them to live in that fear? No, this is a self serving lie and it means ‘if you ever leave I want you to be scared that you will never be loved again’ and if that gives you cold chills, it should. Downright psychopatic shit. Cruel emotional manipulation for the sake of sabotaging possible escape. And if they say it, they already know you will want to escape, they know they’re treating you bad enough for you to want to get the hell away. Healthy way would be simply treating you with respect, care and love so you wouldn’t have to escape, but apparently thats just too much to ask.

“You have to listen to me/obey what I say. I’m your parent and it is the law/bible/you’re freeloader and have to deserve to eat here.” If that was true we wouldn’t even bother having children being raised by parents, we’d simply chuck them to the nearest factory, prison or what have you, and have them work until they deserve to eat or die. This however, is ILLEGAL and also a reason for humanity not to even exist. By whose authority do we not have children fed, clothed and housed, regardless of wether they’re providing labor? They’re not workers, they’re not even fully developed, and you want them to work or DIE? There is no animal, no creature on this planet who does this to their children. Every parent in animal kingdom cares for their child, teaches them how to get along in the world and NEVER expects the child to pay back, or work for them, or sustain them, because its STUPID and UNNATURAL and completely out of this world. If you consider children freeloaders or source of free labour or think at any point they’re unworthy of food, roof, clothes, society, support, happiness, just get a fucking robot and call it a day. You don’t need or deserve a kid. Legally kids don’t owe their parents free labour. Not even chores. All responsibility of caretaking and giving falls to the parent, and they’ve CHOSEN THIS. The child chose nothing. They don’t need to pay for their own food because this is your fault, not theirs. It’s on you to keep them healthy, happy, teach them how to survive and thrive and support them to be happy in this world. They do not owe you a thing.

#child abuse #abusive parents #self serving lies #narcissistic parents #psychological abuse #emotional abuse #abuse #brainwashing children #grooming children #misrepresenting facts #misrepresenting law #crimes against children #trauma #cptsd #ptsd

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writings-of-a-hufflepuff · 3 years

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How Longingly I Look Upon You

Fandom: The Mandalorian

Collection/Series: Western AU- Putting Down Roots

Pairing: Sheriff Din Djarin x Female Teacher Reader

Writer: @writings-of-a-hufflepuff aka @hufflepuffing-all-day-long

Rating: G

Warnings: N/A

Summary: Valentine’s Day is a holiday you love, for it’s celebration of tenderness and appreciation. It matters very little that you never have a partner to share it with. This Valentine’s Day the Sheriff offers an opportunity, a potential, something you never thought he’d do.

Notes: This took me way too long to finish thanks to work, but I hope it was worth the nearly 2 month wait!

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Mando’a Translations:

Ba’vodu - Aunt/uncle Cyar’ika - darling/sweetheart (with Paz, i’m using this informally in a way you’d call your friends babe or love as a term of endearment but non-romantic) Ne shab’rud’ni - don’t fuck with me Cyare - beloved, loved Mesh’la - beautiful Cabur’ika - Lit. Little Guardian, but Din’s term of endearment for reader after ‘Never Mess With a School Teacher’ because she is a true guardian of her kids. Mandokarla - having the ‘right stuff’ basically being truly mandalorian in spirit.

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Valentine’s day was a holiday you actually quite enjoyed. It was a day to celebrate love, whether Eros, romantic love, Agape, unconditional love, Philia, affectionate love, or even Philautia, self-love. For you it had always been a day to celebrate the people in your life and while certainly you’d never had a suitor or a courtship during Valentine’s day, that hadn’t mattered so much. You filled your life with love for your family, even if they were now gone, love for your friends, and love for your students. It mattered very little in the end, Valentine’s day was a day for love in all its forms and for you, it was a joy. A joy to teach your students about the day, about the significance, to watch them create cards for their families, and see the red faces and giggling laughter when one of your students braved the walk across the classroom to hand a gift to another. Rather than dwell on what was missing, you chose to focus on all the joy that the day brought.

Today was no different, you had gone into your school house the day before. Spent your Sunday afternoon hanging red and pink bunting, crafty paper hearts and cupids. You wanted every holiday for your children to be worthwhile, to feel like a special day and part of that was decoration. The school house looked like a Valentine’s dream and the lessons for the day were to centre around the same theme. You would cover the history of Valentine’s day and St Valentine, work on mathematical problems in a Valentine’s context, create Valentine’s cards and write stories about great romances and read some of the best love poems that great poets had produced.

You had even gone with a colour scheme of red and pink for your outfit that day, despite your mother often saying you shouldn’t mix the two. Your dress was neatly ironed, almost gaudy in its Valentine’s nature, but fun. Your mother would have no doubt said that the lace and frills, the large puff sleeves, were all a bit much. Much too gaudy for you, a simple school teacher to wear. You wore it anyway because that was how you wanted it. Gaudy, happy, joyful, and overly extravagant for a day teaching. It was flattering, following your silhouette and grazing the ground gently. You had placed little delicate pink flower pins in your hair, surrounding your high updo. You had even rouged your cheeks, something which you rarely did anymore, usually much too busy.

You’re at the schoolhouse door smoothing down your skirts when you see the first of your childrens making their way down the main street. Lunch pails are flying behind them, skirts and ribbons whistling in the wind as they run. You greet each of your children with a bright smile and a ‘Happy Valentine’s day!’, like clockwork, as part of their routine they hang their coats, scarves and hats on the coat hooks by the door and settle into their seats, pulling out slates, books, pencils and chalk. They begin to chat amongst themselves as they wait for you and the lesson to begin. You had them well trained and so allowed them the time to chat knowing they’d listen up the moment you called for it.

Little Grogu is the last to arrive, running on little legs beside Din who always walks him to school in the morning before beginning his day as Sheriff. The little boy wraps his arms around your legs in greeting before wandering in with a wave to his father. While he can speak and you’ve witnessed it more and more, he is generally mute, preferring to use other forms of communication. You’ve noticed this little quirk of his, but don’t mind. If he would rather not speak that’s fine, so long as he’s progressing in his school work then you have little to worry about.

“Happy Valentine’s day, Din.” You tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ears, a little nervous to wish him a happy Valentine’s Day, oddly enough. All these months of knowing him and he still makes you nervous, not in a bad way. It had gotten worse since that kiss in the school house, the nerves of wanting him but not being sure if that kiss had truly meant more to him causing you to become shy when near him. You feel completely and utterly safe with Din, yet at the same time feel that bubble of excitement and nerves in your stomach, that roiling sensation you’ve not felt since you were a child with a crush. You wanted him to see you as more than just Grogu’s teacher but as a woman, an unmarried woman, a woman he could potentially see himself with. A future wife. While he’d expressed interest in courting you that day, nothing had happened since whether he’d changed his mind or the busyness of life had taken over, you weren't sure. You had never thought much on the prospect of marriage, despite your mother’s many warnings, you had simply not cared all that much. You had decided to live your life on your terms, as much as possible, but Din...Din was a man you could see yourself marrying.

It had grown over the months of knowing him from an objective enjoyment of his features, an acceptance that he was an incredibly handsome man and kind as well, into what you could only describe as longing. The beginnings of something greater, something akin to love. Din was everything you could ever want in a prospective husband, prospective father of your future children. He was handsome, so much so that you were ashamed of the thoughts that on occasion, usually in the quiet of the night, ran through your mind. He was kind and caring, a surprisingly gentle man despite his broad shoulders, large hands, and more violent profession. Ex-bounty hunters weren’t known for their softness and yet that was the only way to describe how he treated you and the children. He was gentle in voice, never raising it around you, never shouting or yelling, he chose his words carefully. He was soft in the way that he allowed the children to sit in his lap as he told stories or helped them down from trees when they got stuck. He was kind in that he was always caring for you, whether making sure you were given adult company during the school day or ensuring you ate after a long day without stopping. He was protective, but not overbearing. Kind and soft, but not weak. He would make a wonderful husband, that is something you were utterly sure of and you knew that you were not the only unmarried woman in town who’d turned their gaze to him.

So it made you nervous to wish him a happy Valentine’s day because on a day of love, he was someone you wanted to celebrate and yet found yourself too nervous to do so. It wasn’t becoming, it wasn’t ladylike to take that first step, that first plunge into the unknown world that was love. Despite that spontaneous and daring kiss you found yourself thinking of your mother and shying away from making another attempt. Your mother, God rest her soul, had always made it a notable detail, a finer point in the plan of your life. You would be approached by a man, not the other way around, and you would ultimately make the decision as to whether you wished to be courted by him with the intent to marry or whether you did not. Despite breaking tradition in the way you taught your children, this was something you didn’t have the courage for. Not again. While Din had expressed interest in you all those months back, the time between had seen nothing but his usual friendly behaviour. It made you conscious of your behaviour and the risk of getting hurt. If Din had an interest in you as a potential spouse, a riddur as he told you once, then he would have to make the next move.

Now standing before you with one hand behind his back and the other holding his hat by his stomach he looked infinitely more nervous than you expected for simply dropping off Grogu to school. There was a hint of red to his cheeks, the tips of his ears, his deep brown eyes darted around, from the floor to your own, before looking over your shoulder. You hadn’t truly seen him like this, this nervousness was unusual for him and you could have sworn he’d combed his hair with some pomade, an attempt to neaten the unruly dark curls that you thought were quite dashing on him.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Miss Y/N,” You frown at the formality, confused as to why he isn’t calling you cabur’ika like he usually does. The formality of calling you miss had dissolved almost the moment you met him and it was strange coming from his lips after so much familiarity between you. He has only ever called you miss when talking to the children about you.

For Din, he has never felt quite as nervous as in this moment. Perhaps it’s the time that’s elapsed that does it. When he kissed you he meant it, he meant his intent to court you, but his job had become busier over the months after...and in truth, he had doubts about his worth. He was unsure if he was truly enough for you. He felt ungentlemanly, improper, too rough. For months he’d been struggling with whether or not he was good enough for you, he knew you wanted to be courted by him, but was it the right thing for you? After months of soul searching, a healthy dose of want and longing every time he saw you with the children or whenever you smiled at him, he’d decided that it was your choice to make. He wanted to be with you and maybe he wasn’t damn good enough, maybe he wasn’t the man that should get to be with you, but if you wanted him then he wasn’t strong enough or selfless enough to or cold enough to do anything but love you.

“I...I have something for you, it ain’t much but I…well…” The flush to his cheeks grows deeper, a bright beaming red that screams against his bronzed skin. From behind his back he pulls his arm, hand outstretched towards you. He knows there’s a subtle shake to his arm, nerves at bearing his heart open, however, subtly, racing through his blood. More adrenaline than he’s felt anywhere but in a gunfight.

There, clutched tight between the fingers of his left hand is a beautifully bound book, green leather cover and gilded words, tucked between the pages you can see an envelope just peeking out at the top. You gently take it from his hands with your left, the meaning of that burned into your memory from lessons with your mother. To give and receive a gift with the left hand is to recognise and accept an active interest in oneself. The weight of it has your heart pounding in your chest, almost violently so against your ribs. You read the cover, ‘The Complete Poetical Works of Walt Whitman’, the tears gather in your eyes before you have any time or thought to stop them. There’s a blind panic that fills Din’s chest, like the blaring of a ship’s foghorn in his mind, at the sight of tears collecting in your eyes. There’s a moment of genuine fear, that he’s somehow messed up, that he’s caused you to become upset.

Walt Whitman was the poet you used to read with your father every evening after he finished a long day of work, his works are some of your favourite, some of the most important to you, but you’ve never been one to spend money on yourself. You often spend your wage, what little of it you have, on items for the school, books for the children, a globe, an anatomical skeleton. You have a small copy of his works, old and worn, some pages missing. This book means more to you than you think Din knows. Afterall, Walt Whiteman is a well known poet and books are one of the few perfectly acceptable gifts to give to a woman that you are not married or engaged to. It was presumptuous to assume that the gift had any added meaning behind it. Foolish your late mother might have even said in her damning indictment of romance.

“How did you know?” You clutch the book tight to your chest, heart aching with happiness and longing, that this man had given this to you, on Valentine’s of all days. It brings burning heat to your cheeks, a stutter to your heart, a dryness to your mouth. This is a step that you had dreamed, hoped of, that move towards something more. This was confirmation that he meant it all those months back, that he intended to court you and hadn’t had a change of heart.

“You...he’s the poet you mention the most when you’re teaching the little ones, cabur’ika” You realise what this is, what this all means. He isn’t just a kind sheriff or your friend, he’s an unmarried eligible man showing you that he’s paid attention to you, that he’s interested. There’s a shift, a shift from the easy friendship to a new undercurrent of tension at the unspoken understanding between the two of you, at the prospect of courtship that he’s extending towards you. It’s not a marriage proposal, it’s not marriage, but it’s an offer to begin on the road towards that. It is confirmation that the kiss you’d shared hadn’t been a mistake, a whim, something fleeting and insubstantial.

It makes your heart flutter in your chest at the prospect that Din Djarin is putting his foot forward, extending a possibility, an opportunity, a potential future. That out of all the unmarried women in town Din was actively showing interest in you. He could have picked any number of beautiful, intelligent, eligible women to show interest in, to potentially court, but he’d chosen you. The weight is added at the prospect that he’s not just offering you a marriage, but a family, because little Grogu is part of his world, part of his life and you would never want anything less.

“Thank you, Din...I...Thank you.” You feel a little lost for words, they’re stuck in your throat, knowing that there are so many things you wish to say but so many things you can’t say.

“I should leave you to your teaching, Miss Y/N. I…” There’s a pause as he thinks over the words in his mind, and stops himself. Din is a fool for you, that he is certain, but the last thing he wants at that moment is to make a larger fool out of himself. So he places his hat back atop his head and says, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

You watch as he says a sweet goodbye to Grogu, kneeling briefly on the ground to touch his forehead to the boy’s before reminding him to ‘be good’ for you.

The envelope is a temptation, sticking out from the top of the book, it calls for you to open it in that instant. But, you don’t, smiling at Din as he walks down the street towards the sheriff’s office, you turn back to head inside, Grogu walking with you to his seat, ready for you to teach the class. Despite the nagging desire to see what letter, what words lie in that envelope, you place the book atop of your desk and begin your day of teaching. You attempt to put the letter to the back of your mind, to keep the thoughts of being courted by Din at bay so that you can effectively teach, but you know you are distracted.

The children are just as unfocused as you, the day goes both fast and slow with dramatics abound. Jonah receives at least 5 love letters, Grogu catches a frog for little Mary-Beth and your entire class takes time to gift you with a drawing by themselves of you and the entire class.

Despite a whole class to distract you, you find it hard to teach, your eyes drifting back to your desk. That unassuming little envelope poking out from beneath the pages of a little poetry book that means more to your soul than you can possibly put into any sort of words. You find yourself thinking ahead, of the future, of Din. If he did indeed wish to court you, to go down that path of potential and intended marriage, then he was truly to be part of your future, he and Grogu.

There was no doubt in your mind that you’d accept such a proposition, that you wanted him in your future. Din was your friend, something that had taken very little time in truth. From the moment you’d met him and his son, he’d managed easily to worm his way into your affections without even a thought to do so. He was kind, competent, caring. He was good with children. Respected you, your intelligence and your authority in your classroom. While he happily joined you to tell stories to the children he would always defer to you and respect your right to dictate what happened inside your school house. He helped when you needed it, but never jumped so eagerly to help that he took over when you did not need it. While he was certainly quiet, had a temper hidden beneath it all and a danger to him that you’d seen on the few occasions he felt the town or it’s occupants were in danger, he had never made you feel anything but safe and secure. He had proven himself competent the moment he stepped into town, arranging your school house to be built and demanding the respect of every inhabitant. He had done more for you in the months you’d known him than anyone else had done in years.

He, in truth, captured your attention unlike any other person you’d ever met. You had always had an abstract desire for love, marriage, a family. But, no one had ever caught your attention, no man had ever been thought of as a potential father to your children or life companion. Din from the start had you take notice, you couldn’t quite comprehend the idea that he wanted to potentially marry you of all people.

He had his fair share of admirers, in a small town like your own, he was the man that stood out the most and one of the most handsome. He had a lot of eyes on him at all times and you assumed that he knew it, some were less subtle and ladylike than others. You knew he’d received a few propositions, something your mother would have been horrified at, but he’d yet to accept a single offer. To receive one from him, meant that out of all the people lined up outside the sheriff’s office begging for his attention, he’d chosen you. Something which excited you.

It’s on your lunch break, the children running around outside, that you finally have time to pull the envelope from its resting place between pages of inked words and sit with it. When you retrieved it from between pages of poetry, you had found yourself faced with little dried and pressed flowers between the pages of Walt Whitman’s works. A little additional that made a smile crawl across your lips. You’re sitting on the front steps, watching the kids play, one eye on them, the other on the unassuming letter in your hands. Grogu has come to join you, toddling up the steps on little legs before plonking himself down next to you, leaning his chubby cheek into your arm.

“Shall we see what your buir has written, mm?” You ask the little boy, he grins up at you at the mention of his father, he’s missing a couple of his baby teeth right at the front and the gap adds to the sheer adorable nature of the boy. You don’t know how much he knows, but Grogu has always seemed to know more than he let on, to understand the world around him better than most. There was always an intelligence behind those big eyes that made you think he knew more than either you or Din.

The envelope is unassuming, just a cream coloured piece of paper, neat cursive writing along the front spelling out your name. You’ve never seen Din’s handwriting before and it speaks of someone who received a decent education, hours of being drilled on the correct way to hold a dip pen, how to form each letter. There’s a hesitation to the writing that speaks of someone who hasn’t had reason to write in a while, a little judder to the letters. You trace a fingertip over your name, how it looks in his hand, black ink stark against cream paper. It looks pretty when he’s writing it, you think.

You turn over the envelope and slide a finger underneath the lip of it, careful to open it and not tear the paper in your haste. You glance up briefly at the sound of a yell, seeing that Jerome is fine and just laughing with the others, red in the face from receiving a kiss to the cheek, you turn your gaze to the folded letter that you pull from it’s confines.

It takes everything within you to keep your composure as you read the letter. There is a girlish part of you that wishes to giddily squeal, throw the page into the air and run around in circles to express the sudden burst of energy that fills you. Instead, you sit there calmly, fingers and hands shaking as your eyes dart across the page following each line, hungry for the next.

Dearest cabur’ika, Y/N,

In truth I do not know how to write this letter to you, but it felt less forward and presumptuous to put my thoughts onto paper than to speak them to you clearly and in the open where the town gossip would get involved. I do not want you to feel forced to return my affections or embarrassed by them. While we’ve shared a kiss and i’ve expressed my intent towards you in the past, it has always been private, quiet and anything but bold. It has always left room for doubt, uncertainty and movement. You deserve surety.

I have never been nor will I ever be a poet or a writer. I am a former bounty hunter, a sheriff, a mandalorian. I was raised to fight, to defend, not to write poetry or put down my thoughts and feelings into prose. I apologise if this letter is less than you dreamed of. If it fails to live up to lofty expectations or childhood dreams.

I wish to make it plain and clear to you that I find you to be beautiful. Not just in form, or face, but in soul. You are a protector, a guardian, a caregiver and teacher. From the moment I met you you treated myself and my son with a kindness that I doubt I will ever forget. You have enchanted me in body, soul and mind. When I kissed you in the schoolhouse it was not on a whim, nor was it a false promise. I had and have every intent to court you, to one day marry you. I apologise that I have been distant or allowed room for doubt to grow.

I am eager to see but a glimpse of you in the day, to make you smile or offer you some respite. I am eager to hear your voice even as you talk about topics I have no interest in. I am eager to be in your presence, to see the kindness with which you treat each of your children and the sweetness of your smile, the fierceness of your nature when called upon to protect your class. In the words of Walt Whitman, ‘you do not know how longingly I look upon you’.You are mandokarla, built with the soul of a warrior, the kindness of a mother, and the mind of a teacher. Perhaps my words are too strong or forward, perhaps you do not share my feelings, but I wish to lay my intentions at your feet. I do not wish to presume you return these feelings, perhaps that kiss was a moment of weakness, perhaps your feelings have changed. But I cannot in good conscience go on as we have.

I wish to step out with you, I wish to court you for the town to see, to one day marry you. If you ever allowed me such an opportunity I think I might be the luckiest of men, to have you join me in equal partnership as my riddur. To wake each morning to your smile, to raise our children and Grogu with you. To help you at your weakest and stand and watch you at your strongest. I long to build a life with you.

I ask, will you allow me the great honour of courting you?

If you do not feel the same then I shall end my pursuit, I shall respect your feelings or lack thereof and we shall be friends, as we have been. But, please, consider my words. I would be blessed if you ever saw me worthy of you, you would not just be an excellent riddur, but a loving buir to Grogu. If I did not feel seriously about you I would not make this offer. But, the choice is yours and I shall respect it no matter what your decisions may be.

Yours with love and affection,

Din Djarin

The shake to your breath comes from a good dose of shock and giddiness that collide together inside of your chest like two wagons that haven’t been watching where they were going. It’s not a proposal, but it is a proposal at the same time. There is a giddiness that fills you knowing that Din wishes to step out with you, that he wishes to show the town his intention to one day marry you, that he has affection past that of friendship for you. It’s the giddiness that comes from returned affections, shared interest, you no longer feel as if you are the only one gazing at the other, that your feelings are unrequited. It feels as if all that worry, all that doubt had been for naught, simply a foolish girlish thing to do. How had you ever doubted his intentions towards you?

“Miss, it’s time for history…” It’s Annie standing in front of you, hands on her hips to remind you that you need to call the children in, that has you hastily folding the letter and pocketing it, picking Grogu up and resting him on your hip as you rise. You, as most teachers, do not have the time to be giddy or dwell on love confessions during the school day.

The day drags on in its last moments. Your desire to return home, to write a carefully crafted response, to find some sort of gift in addition, has you counting the seconds, minutes, and hours as they slowly tick by. Your children can tell you are unfocused and they become incredibly distracted as a result, but despite this you can’t find it in yourself to be frustrated or irritated, not today of all days when your patience with them has been extended by your supernaturally good mood.

When Din collects Grogu at the end of the day you give him your sweetest smile and thank him earnestly for the letter. He isn’t sure what it means. It’s not an outright rejection or acceptance and despite the burning desire in his chest to receive an answer, he knows how to be patient, tipping his hat at you and offering to walk you home as a gentleman does.

It isn’t unusual for Din to walk you home after the school day ends, even on nights where you stay late at school he often comes back with Grogu to walk you as the dark sets in. He has never been anything but a gentleman when it comes to making sure you get home safe even in a small town where very little happens and you know everyone. Still, you’ve always appreciated the gesture and you do now, even if wrapping your arm through his and walking side by side takes on a new tension, a new feeling.

There’s a little thought in the back of your mind, niggling, that you can’t quite get rid of. The thought that this is what your little family could look like if all goes well. That you, with your arm wrapped through Din’s, hands in the crook of his elbow, and him, with Grogu on his hip, little arms wrapped around his neck, could easily be a future image of a family. Not just the Sheriff, a single father, walking the school teacher home because he’s polite and gentlemanly.

“Thank you again, for the letter and the poetry book. I...you don’t understand how much it all means to me, Din. I...I want to respond properly, take my time….I.” The air is cold, as it always is in early February, but your entire body feels warm as you try to explain that you’re not rejecting his offer. You don’t want him to doubt for a second that you intend to say yes, but it doesn’t feel right to say it. There’s a desire to take your time, to write a heartfelt reply, to ensure that the time he took for you, you take in return.

“You ain’t gotta tell me right away. It’s okay to take your time, mesh’la.” The reassurance has your shoulders dropping, a sense of relief, the removal of pressure. Any fear you had that Din would grow impatient dissipates and you're reminded once more of how safe you feel with him. Both physically and emotionally. He is a calming, solid presence. There is nothing fickle or finicky about Din and that is a relief when so much of your social world is confusing to navigate.

“Thank you.” You tell him earnestly, drawing closer to him as you walk. Your side pressed fully into his, hip to hip, arm to arm. You cannot truly comprehend Din Djarin, the many elements that make him a better man than most, but you don’t think you have to fully comprehend him to enjoy being around him, to find comfort in him. Perhaps it will take years for you to fully understand who he is, but you like to believe you’ll get the time to do so. To learn him just as well as he seems to have learnt you.

Your home isn’t particularly large. When you first came to town the Mayor had informed you that the post of teacher came with a small lodging. It was small; a separate bedroom off of the main living area, a water closet out in the back garden, enough room in the kitchen and living area for your tub to be placed in front of the fire when you need to wash. It was, however, homey, something Din had admired from the first.

You ensured that blankets and pillows, knick knacks and trinkets covered the space. That it felt like a lived space, a place filled with love and warmth.

He’s reluctant to leave you when he reaches the top step to your door. There’s a part of him that rarely wants to part from you, that enjoys your company even if it’s silent. You are comforting and familiar, he feels like he can be himself around you. There’s an implicit trust between the two of you. He trusts you with his son, he trusts you with his safety and protection, he trusts you with himself and even his heart, something he has protected ever since the death of his parents at the hands of bandits and thieves. He would be happy so long as he is in your presence and it is that fact that makes him certain about his decision to propose courtship, there is no one he would rather spend the rest of his days with. Terrifying, overwhelming, massive, but he can sense how entirely worth it it will be.

“Goo-”

“Hav-”

The two of you go to say goodnight at the same time, stopping short and laughing under your breath. You tug at the fabric of your skirt and shift, feeling a wave of embarrassment at talking over each other, an odd feeling when neither have done anything to be embarrassed of.

Grogu shifts on his father’s hip, leaning forward a hand reaching out to wave at you. You begin to smile, waving back at the little boy, your smile only grows wider when the usually mute boy giggles out “Goodnigh’!” at you with a large smile on his face.

The boy manages to break the tension with a simple word and smile, once again you wonder if he knows more than he lets on. That this six year old is, perhaps, wise beyond his years.

“Goodnight, Grogu. Goodnight, Din.”

“Goodnight, cabur’ika” There is a pause from Din as if he wishes to say something, before stopping himself, turning and walking down your stairs. You wait there at your door, watching him leave until your eyes can no longer follow his figure as he disappears around a corner and out of sight.

Your home feels empty, unusually so, with their presence gone, but you decide to put your energy and longing into a response. The first part is your famous spiced cookies. You know that Mandalorians prize spiced foods highly, a cultural aspect that your teacher Atin’a Caivass had shared with you as a child.

The recipe was hers, one thing she gifted you, shared with you, and entrusted to you. So you get to work, mixing together flour, butter, sugar, egg. Adding spices that are one of the little luxuries you deign to spend a little extra on. They’re the sort of cookies that have a lovely mixture of sweetness and kick, they hit you in the back of the throat just enough to make your mouth tingle. The coco powder in them balances out the heat nicely,

Once the cookies are on the side cooling you hunt out your letter writing items. You haven’t had reason to write a letter since the passing of your parents many years ago. But, you know, in your organised way, where your things are. You collect your writing paper, envelopes, dip pen, ink. You find out your sealing wax, the stamps you haven’t used in years. You lay out each item on your kitchen table with care, feel a thrill go through you that you haven’t felt in years. You always enjoyed writing letters, taking your time to put thoughts and feelings into words onto paper.

You take up your pen, dip the metal nib into black ink and bring the tip to cream, clean, fresh paper and begin to write.

Dearest Sheriff Djarin, Din.

There are few words in the expanse of the dictionary that could truly describe how I felt upon reading your letter. Ever since the kiss we shared I had worried, doubted. I was scared that perhaps you had changed your mind, decided that I was not worth your time, that I was not of interest anymore. When to me you had only become further ingrained in my dreams and wants. I was scared that I had made a terrible fool of myself.

To know that those feelings are returned, that you can see a life and a future with me means the world, it means everything. Grogu and you have become an inextricable part of my life, a part I would never wish to do without. You and that sweet boy make my soul sing and as Walt Whitman once aptly put ‘I am to see to it that I do not lose you’.

You enchant me and thrill me to no end and perhaps that is not ladylike to say, perhaps I should write a quick acceptance of your offer and leave it at that, but I feel that such honest and open words should be returned in kind. I adore you.

I adore the crinkle in your brow, the blinding smile when you drop your guard. I adore the kind, gentle nature you have around children, the ease with which you cause them to smile and laugh. I adore the respect you have for me, the respect you have for my authority in the classroom. I adore the curls of your hair, the hook of your nose, the patchy beard that grows on your jaw. I find there is very little I do not adore about you, Din Djarin and that is both a terrifying concept and one that I too adore.

There was a time I thought little on marriage. I was told I should marry, but what of it? Why would I? You have, for the first time, made me truly desire marriage, a husband, children, a life of pure domesticity and family.

To put it plainly, and I hope my feelings are not off putting or too forward, I would be glad, happy, ecstatic to one day call myself your wife and to call you my husband, my riddur.

You asked if I would allow you to court me and my answer is yes, a hundred, a thousand times yes. I would love nothing more than to step out with you, to hang on your arm and begin to take steps towards a life together.

I wish to make it equally as clear that Grogu matters to me. That I understand that he is part of this, part of you, and that I would never wish for you to part from each other. If you one day saw me as worthy of becoming his mother then I would take that responsibility on with pride and with love. He is a little angel, he captured my heart from the very first day I met him, even with his mischief and I would never wish to part with the two of you or come between your aliit, only to join it. I understand that he is as much your son, your child, as any child born of your own blood.

I accept your offer of courtship and I knowingly enter into it, and all that it entails.

All my love and affection,

Y/N Y/L/N

You wait for the ink to dry, in the meantime you take some muslin and begin to wrap the cookies carefully in the fabric. The twine you wrap around you knot into a bow. Redoing it multiple times until you're happy with its shape. There’s no real need for a knot of twine to be perfect, but you want it to look perfect, to be perfect, for him.

The ink of your letter is dry and you’re careful as you go through the motions of folding the pages, slipping them into a crisp envelope and weighing down the lip. You’re selective in your choice of wax and seal, careful as you melt the wax, pour it and stamp it. There’s a quiet calm about it all, sealing your words behind wax and paper. Knowing that the next time they’re revealed the one person they’re meant for will be reading them.

You place the times together on the side with care, ready to be collected in the morning as you leave for the school house. You take a few moments to think about when it would be best to deliver them, deciding that as much as it pains you to wait, the evening, after school, is better than the morning. It would simply distract you more, you have little time to do it, and the evening gives you that time to talk, to enjoy the change in your relationship.

You go to sleep that night with thoughts of Din’s smile, the one he gives whenever he tells a story to your class, soft, gentle, filled with contentment. Thoughts of the way his hair curls over his ears and his neck moves as he swallows. Thoughts of how he had come into your little mining town of Navarro and shaken everything up in the best sort of way, put to right all the wrongs, solved problems and brought forth solutions.

When you wake the next morning you’re extra particular about what you choose to wear, how your pins look in your hair and how much rouge is on your cheeks. You know, deep down, that Din could care less about the way your hair is pinned or how much rouge is on your cheeks, but it’s something to occupy your hands and mind in the morning before you get to the school house. Once you’re teaching you know you’ll have little time to worry or think about the response you intend to pass on to Din at the Sheriff’s office that evening, but in the meantime you busy yourself with your daily routine.

The day seems to drag, your smile and good morning to Din as he drops Grogu off for school is filled with tension and unspoken words. Your lessons seem to take forever to teach and where you’d normally be enthused you find yourself more eager for the day to end than anything else.

Paz is the one to come by and collect Grogu at the end of the day. The large man had settled into town as the deputy not a month into Din’s stint as sheriff. You knew that Paz and Din were close, practically brothers, having grown up together in the covert and that had been the main reason for you warming to him so quickly. Without Din’s presence you would have likely shied away from Paz. He was large, if you’d thought Din was broad shouldered, then he had nothing on Paz, who was a veritable giant. His size and his resting scowl made him intimidating, but his interactions with the children and women of town showed his character instantly. Like another Mandalorian you knew he’d been gentle and sweet, respectful, despite his size and intimidating demeanor. You liked Paz, even if he seemed to enjoy embarrassing you around his brother.

“Hey there, Little One!” You watch Paz crouch down, arms open as the little boy barrels towards him as fast as his little legs can go. Grogu absolutely adored Paz, he was his uncle, his ba’vodu, and the little boy loved being swung about, hefted to and fro by the giant man. It was the tenderness with which Paz always encompassed Grogu in his arms, lifting him gently to his shoulders, that reminded you of the soul inside Paz. The cover of his book was intimidating, scary, tough, the face of a mercenary and bounty hunter, but his inner pages, his soul was just as soft as Din, just as caring. You were happy to call Paz a friend.

“Hello, Paz”, You smile up at the man, Grogu now sat about his shoulders, arms wrapped around the top of his head with a little smile. The man in question smiles down at you, “Good evenin’, cyar’ika”, You smile wider at the familiar endearment, happy to see your friend even if the nerves from your impending visit to Din buzz in your stomach and chest.

“Is Din working late?”

“Yeah, the kid’ll be at mine for the night, Din’s working the graveyard shift so to speak.” You’re, in truth, glad that Paz is watching Grogu for the night, that Din is working late. It gives you the privacy to give your response, without either the watchful eyes of a child or any other sort of audience.

“Well, have a good night, Paz”

“Not as good as yours i’m sure” It’s said with that teasing glint that Paz often gets in his eye and a smirk that twists the shape of his beard. It causes a sort of panic to fill you, at the thought that Paz knows, that he knows what’s going on even if it’s completely believable and acceptable that Din would tell his brother about his intentions towards you. Your body feels warm all of a sudden and you're sure there’s a look of panic in your eyes because Paz’s glint softens down to something kind and gentle as he nods a goodnight to you and walks away.

You force yourself to go about your normal routine, spending a few hours at the school house marking books, organising the next day’s lessons, tidying up and generally making sure you were ready for all your children the following morning. You may spend a little too much time rearranging the items on your desk and sharpening pencils that don’t really need to be sharpened.

It’s as the sun begins to dip low in the February sky, and people begin to light lamps in their houses or, for those with enough money, turn on their electric lights that you finally decide enough is enough and grab the parcel and letter from your desk. You march with a strange sort of determination, that hides the mess of emotions you are inside, across the street and to the Sheriff’s Office. It doesn’t matter that Din had already shared his feelings with you, you were still nervous of his reaction, had you responded well enough? Was it romantic enough? Would something in your letter be off putting for him? Was it too forward? Not clear enough?

He is leaning back in his chair, legs crossed on top of his desk, heels of his boots digging into the wood of the table. The warm light from various gas lamps bounces across Din’s features, accentuates the sharpness of his cheek bones, the curve of his hawkish nose, the shadow from the brim of his hat.

His chair makes a sharp screech across the floorboards as he rushes to stand at the sight of you, feet falling to the floor as he bounces to them. The hat is swept off his head, politely removed to show the curls of his hair as he, dare you say nervously, tugs at his waistcoat and checks his attire. It’s somewhat relaxing, the endearing nerves with which he greets you, the quick attempt to perfect himself, to show you the best of him, even if you would have happily been greeted by him even if he were covered head to toe in mud.

“Cabur’ika…” He’s a little breathless and it causes a flush to reach his cheeks. He’s embarrassed that he sounds like a school aged kid, that he isn’t standing before you behaving like a man, an adult. But, you take the breath out of him. You’re frazzled looking after a long day teaching, the hair of your up-do frizzy and falling out in places, chalk across your cheeks and skirt, wrinkles in your clothes that he was sure weren’t there that morning, but you still looking breathtaking, you still make his heart jump a beat.

“Din…” You’re breathless yourself, it feels like your nerves have a hand around your throat, a tight grip keeping the breath from leaving your lungs. You fumble a little as you step towards him, tripping on a loose floorboard but catching yourself. Your hands nearly drop the precious cargo they’re carrying and you clutch tighter in response.

“I...uh...Here.” You had the parcel and letter to him, as he reaches for the envelope first you panickedly say, “The parcel! Open...open the parcel first?” He can see the nerves in you, the way you twist your fingers and bite at your bottom lip, in an effort to ease them he nods with a smile and puts the envelope on his desk, focusing on the package of muslin and string.

He’s careful as he opens it on his desk, pulling apart the perfect bow you’d tied and unravelling the package with careful hands. His fingers are too delicate in that moment for such large hands, for hands that have choked men unconscious and lassoed bounties, that have held guns. It’s odd for him, how easily he has fitted into the domesticity of town, odd, but not unwelcome.

The wrappings fall away and he’s greeted by the sight of warm brown cookies, irregularly shaped, although somewhat circular. They’re delicious looking, but what gets him the most is the smell, it reminds him of winter nights in the covert, of his adopted parents and warm cookies and milk, spices that he’s almost forgotten about. He should really ask before grabbing one and tucking in, but he can’t resist the urge to find out if the spices are the ones he remembers from his childhood.

The cookie is moist and soft as it crumbles away easily onto his tongue, he can’t resist closing his eyes at the taste. He recognises the spices, the taste taking him back to fond memories and warmth, a familial bond between him and those who had taken him in, protected him, given him a purpose, a life. He finishes the whole thing without really realising it.

You watch on, anxious to see if he likes them. It had been a risk, spicing the cookies, you hoped the significance to his culture was a good thing and not bad. You found yourself second guessing your decision as his brow furrowed, eyes closing, but then he took the next bite, and the next, until the cookie was no more and Din’s chocolate coloured eyes opened and blinked over at you with the lightest sheen of tears.

“How did you know?”

“I...I had a mandalorian teacher, remember? She...she always liked spiced cookies, I…are they okay? Was...should I not have?” You feel the worry bounce through you, at the thought that you’d crossed some invisible line, some sort of boundary not meant to be crossed.

“No, no! They’re lovely, thank you. They...they remind me of home, Mesh’la.” He’s quick to reassure you, a warm hand reaching out to give one of your own a quick squeeze, just long enough to comfort you, but no longer than appropriate.

You watch him turn back to the envelope, picking it up with care before glancing between the seal and you, eyes darting back and forth as if he is unsure if he is allowed to open it, to read it. “Open it.” You force the words from your throat, nervous for him to read your words, your thoughts and feelings put to paper, but knowing that the relief once he has done so will outweigh your current anxiety.

You stand and watch, a lump in your throat, your hands twisting into your skirt as he opens the envelope. A careful finger pulling the seal free and gently easing the pages of your letter from it’s confines. You wait and you watch, eyes intent on his features as his own carefully trace across the curvature of your words.

He can feel his heart pounding in his ears, feel the tears well in his eyes as he reads further throughout your letter. It is not just your open acceptance of his offer that has his emotions rising within his chest, but the clear admiration of him and the openness with which you accept his son. Grogu was his child, you were right, as much as any child of his own blood would be, and he had, in truth, stupidly worried that you might not accept the boy as your own. Your excitement at the prospect of one day being a mother to him causes his heart to ache in the best sort of way.

Din was purposeful as he placed the letter down and strode up to you, the toes of his boots touching the hem of your skirt. He invades your personal space in a way that sets your skin aflame, yet it is not uncomfortable. You welcome his presence as much as it causes your heart to beat rapidly and your throat to swallow.

“May I kiss you?” He asks, his voice soft and gentle, the southern twang just under the surface. He’s so close you can feel the warmth from his skin. You nod, letting out a shaky breath as his hands come up to cup your cheeks. So large they enclose you so well, make you feel secure even as your heart tries to stutter out of your chest. It matters little that you’ve kissed before, that was quick, this was slow, your attention undivided, your thoughts completely encapsulated by him and his entire being. His hands are warm against your cheeks, thumbs brushing back and forth in gentle strokes as he gages your reaction, eyes focused on your own. He’s slow as he moves forward, as if giving you time to back out, to pull away, but you don’t.

He tastes like spices and sugar, the cookie lingering on his tongue long after it had melted away. He is soft, but not so gentle, the gentle, delicate nature of your last kiss is replaced by depth of emotion, passion and fire. His lips firm against yours, a large hand cupping the back of your neck to pull you closer, while the other falls to your waist. His beard scratches against your skin pleasantly and you think you could happily grow used to this. You think little of propriety, of politeness, when you open your lips to his and meld yourselves closer together, think little of it as you clutch at his shoulders and breathe him in, as your fingers come up to tangle in those chocolate curls and tug incessantly, as his tongue tangles with your own. There is no fear of it going too far, of Din pushing you for more, of demanding more because you both know the lines that must not be crossed, because you trust him implicitly and because you know he respects you enough to not risk your reputation or livelihood for something carnal or baser, even if he desires it. Even if you desire it.

The lack of fear is what allows you to get swept up in the kiss, in the feeling of his hands and lips on you, the warmth of his skin, the smell of his soap. It allows you to forget that the world outside exists, that you are not in your own private world, but in the easily accessible space that is the Sheriff’s Office.

The spell is broken by the sound of the door slamming open and heavy, booted footfalls on the floorboards. You pull apart with a gasp and Din is quick to stand in front of you, as if to protect you from view, scowling at his deputy in the doorway. Not even the little boy on Paz’s shoulder can take the frustration from Din, he is frustrated at the interruption, embarrassed for you, that you were caught in a compromising position, and irritated by the smirk that’s heavy on Vizsla’s lips.

Paz hadn’t meant to interrupt, in truth he hadn’t expected to find you there, lips locked to his brother, but Grogu was being fussy. Refusing to eat his dinner and then outright refusing to be put to bed. Paz had decided the kid just needed to see his buir, he hadn’t expected Din to be...in the middle of something.

“Am I interrupting something, Djarin?” He’s teasing and he feels a little sorry when he sees how embarrassed you look, but it’s worth it for the glare he gets from Din. His smirk widens as Din practically growls at him, teeth clenched tight.

“Vizsla, don’t make me shove my boot where the sun don’t shine. Ne shab’rud’ni.” He softens a little at Grogu grinning at the two of you, but he still wishes the interruption had never come. He knows it was inevitable, he has a young son, the chances of romance going uninterrupted are slim, still…

“We’ll be outside, Vod. Don’t take too long” Paz says it, still with that smirk attached to his face. He’s gracious enough to give Din a little more time with you, before demanding the man take his son home and tuck him in bed.

The door closes softly behind him, the moment he’s out of sight Din turns back to you, sighing out an apology, “I’m sorry, cyare…”

He presses his forehead to your own, hands smoothing across your waist and back in gentle motions. As if trying to soothe the embarrassment from you, bring you back to a sense of peace that had since been disrupted.

You push your forehead back into his and nudge his nose with your own, “Don’t be. He’s your son.” You mean it. As embarrassing as being interrupted is, as frustrating as it may be, you understand. His son is massively important, and he’s young, there are bound to be interruptions. It’s okay.

“So, we’re really doin’ this, huh? Haven’t changed your mind yet, Mesh’la?”

“Not at all…” You press forward, a soft, sweet little kiss to lips before pulling back, “You should go...Grogu needs you. Wish him a goodnight for me?” You pull away slowly, untangling yourself from his arms despite your own reluctance. You want to stay there, warm and safe forever, but Grogu needs his father and you do not have the heart to deprive him.

“Always.”

Din doesn’t want to leave you, but you make the decision for him, grabbing his hat and carefully plopping in atop his head before ushering him out the door. You watch as he takes Grogu from Paz, putting the boy onto his shoulders and walking with the man down the street.

He can’t help but look back.

------------------------------

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#din djarin x reader #din djarin / reader #din djarin #the mandalorian #the mandalorian reader insert #reader insert #readerinsert #western au #putting down roots #din djarinxreader #din djarin/reader #female reader #female identifying reader

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shotokimchi · 3 years

Text

Summer Breeze

Pairing: Sugawara x Fem!Reader

Summary: Sugawara decided to take a break from his teaching duties and decided to go on a vacation but he didn't expect to meet the love of his life.

Warning: Time skip spoilers or smthng, ANGST, fluff and implied smut

"Please don't go Sugawara sensei!" The little boy started to cry while hugging his teacher's leg, Sugawara looked at him with loving eyes and patted his head. "I'm not leaving any of you, i'll be away just for a month!" The small boy whined and his grip tightened on Sugawara's leg, the substitute teacher tried her best to calm the kid down and gave an apologetic look. "I'll take care of them Sugawara-san, you can pack your things." They both bowed and Sugawara made his way towards his desk. After collecting his notebooks and documents, he grabbed the keys of his car and started to drive towards his apartment.

Sugawara loved his job, there wasn't a day that he wanted to quit but lately, he just wanted to get some fresh ocean air and see new things so he booked a flight to Turkey - İzmir. The country was popular with its foods, touristic destinations, and kindhearted people.

Opening the door to his apartment Sugawara made his way towards his bedroom, he found his suitcase and started to pack. After everything was organized, it was time for a cup of creamy coffee, he made his way towards the small kitchen and waited for the milk to heat up, then his phone started to buzz on the counter. It was one of his close friends 'Daichi Sawamura' a small smile formed on his face and he answered with a soft "Hello?" He heard his friend sigh "Are you ready to leave Suga, do you need help?" He was grateful for the friends he had "No, thank you Daichi I'm ready." Daichi huffed and smiled "Asahi and I'll come to get you tomorrow, ok?" After talking about this and that Sugawara leaned on the kitchen counter and started to think about his vacation. He was a grown man yet, even the thought of flying abroad gave him butterflies.

"Are you ready to go?" Asahi smiled while fastening his seatbelt, Sugawara nodded and his eyes met Daichi's on the rear mirror. "Let's go then." After driving for 50 minutes, they finally saw the big airport. Sugawara's heart started to beat faster, there wasn't any particular reason, he was excited. He checked his luggage and approached the lady to learn the number of his flight gate. "A flight to Turkey - İzmir, right sir?" He gave a warm smile and nodded "Here you go." He thanked the lady and made his way to his friends, Daichi patted his back and Asahi gave him a soft smile "Don't worry about us Sugawara, you deserved this vacation, enjoy it to the fullest." He nodded "Don't worry Asahi-san I will be safe." The trio smiled at each other and Sugawara walked towards the gates while waving at his friends.

(Time skip cuz I don't wanna waste time with the whole transportation thing)

"Here's your card sir room 505, hope you enjoy your stay here!" He bowed and thanked the receptionist and waited for the elevator, the hotel was clean and bright. He carefully opened the door and a room with light grey walls and white furniture welcomed him the room was neat and smelled like soap, he immediately made his way towards the shower and took a pair of clean clothes. He took off his wrinkly clothes and let the warm water hit his pale skin. He never felt so relaxed and so far away from everything else. Usually, he was a social butterfly but being away from the air of the busy city and the crowd was refreshing. When he was done, he wrapped a towel around his waist, he was currently at a district called 'Alaçatı' he wanted to explore the streets so he quickly put on a shirt and a pair of shorts with white flip-flops. He quickly grabbed his wallet, a map, cellphone, the room's card and quickly made his way towards the reception.

The streets were small and every single building was so cute painted with either blue, pink or white. There were small shops here and there, the time flew by with tasting the foods and looking for souvenirs for his friends. Then he came across a small grocery store and saw the shiny red apples, they looked so tasty and he reached one without thinking but his hand touched a small one. He lifted his head and his hazel eyes met with shy e/c ones. There was a woman, standing in a beautiful white dress, hair flowing with the wind, cheeks tinted with a little bit of pink. Sugawara got nervous and bowed "I'm sorry, please go ahead." He smiled and the woman turned her head to the apples and slowly picked them one by one, Sugawara watched her small form and his eyes caught the cute beach hat with a small daisy attached to it. Her eyes met with his again and he noticed that he was staring the whole time, his cheeks started to burn and before he can apologize, the woman raised her hand and made her way towards to the cashier. Sugawara raised his eyebrow and waited for the woman, she paid for the apples and approached him with two small paper bags and offered one to him. His eyes widened "Oh, you didn't have to pay, that was so rude of me!" He bowed and just when he was about to mutter his apologies again, he heard her soft giggles. "It's okay." Her eyes were soft and shiny, despite being shy her eyes looked excited and filled with happiness. "I noticed an accent, are you perhaps a tourist?" Sugawara quickly nodded and smiled "Yeah, I came from Japan! Oh, please let me carry those paper bags." He carefully took the bags from her hands and both of them started to walk randomly.

"Oh, I always wanted to see Japan!" The woman smiled and looked at the sky. "My name is Y/n by the way." He smiled "Koushi Sugawara, I'm 27 and I came here for a break, I'm a teacher." Her eyes sparkled with interest "A teacher huh, that's amazing. I always loved kids. I'm 24 and I'm interested in music." He hummed while taking an apple, just when he was about to take a bite, he remembered that he needed to was it "You don't need to wash those, people usually sell the things they raise themselves, it doesn't have weird chemicals on it trust me." She giggled and Sugawara scratched the back of his neck "Ah, I see. So do you play any instruments?" She nodded and an excited look formed on her face, Sugawara smiled at her reactions and paid attention to the conversation. Despite being an adult she was so pure and enthusiastic it was pretty cute. "How long are you gonna stay here Mr.Sugawara?" She asked and he shook his head "Please, just call me Sugawara. I'm staying here for a month." Her eyes sparkled "I'm happy for you! Alaçatı is the perfect place to get your mind off of things, maybe I'll play my violin for you sometime! Oh... Sorry if I'm pestering you." He quickly shook his head "No of course not, I'm actually quite happy that I found someone to talk to, if it's okay with you I'd like to exchange numbers."

She smiled and gave him a nod "Sure, let's keep in touch!" After walking on the small streets, a comfortable silence filled the air. "Do you live here or are you here for vacation too Y/n?" Her smile disappeared and her lips formed a thin line but she quickly recovered and shook her head "No, I don't live here I came here for... fresh air, yeah." Sugawara realized the hesitance in her tone and decided not to pester her "Oh I see, how long are you gonna be here?" She looked at the paper bag in her hands and smiled "Well as long as I'm alive." His eyes widened in shock and their eyes met, then she burst out laughing "Pftt- That was so dramatic right, you should see your face right now!" Was she serious or joking, he couldn't understand but since she was laughing he decided to go along with it and started to laugh "Yeah, you scared me for a second." She tried to calm down her giggles and apologized "Sorry, sorry!" Then she started to cough heavily and Sugawara lightly patted her back "Oh! Would you like some water Y/n?" She waved her hands and shook her head but her coughs got heavier and Sugawara started to panic, just when he was about to suggest something else to help, she interwined her fingers with his and started to take deep breaths, his ears started to get red but he tried to keep his cool. It looked like she was exercising, her forehead was slightly sweating so he took out a handkerchief and wiped the sweat, a small smile appeared on her lips and she opened her eyes. Her eyes met with worried hazel orbs "Y/n, are you okay?" She nodded "It's just a small cold, don't worry!" Her cheery attitude managed to convince him but there was a feeling that bothered Sugawara. "You need to rest, please let me walk you home this is a small place after all." He gave her a charming small and her heart fluttered in her chest, how can she refuse him? "But i don't want you to get tired, you are here for a break." He shook his head and grinned "Well, you are my tour guide now so you need to feel better." She gave him a surprised look and Sugawara rubbed the back of his neck "I think this is all fate, wanting the same apple then exchanging numbers and all... why don't we enjoy our time here together?" Sugawara's eyes glinted with hope and Y/n couldn't do anything besides nodding. He gave her a wide grin "Yaaaay, then lead me to your house, Ms.Y/n!"

"Thank you for walking me home Sugawara, would you like some lemonade? It's pretty hot." He nodded and took off his shoes. She led him to her open kitchen, there was a small kitchen island and white cupboards with a grey sink. The house was small but surprisingly refreshing "Oh the inner design is pretty." He complimented and Y/n walked towards the fridge, grabbing a jug of fresh lemonade then a plate filled with some tasty sugar cookies. "Please have some, it will cool you down." He thanked her for the food, then the sweet liquid hit his tongue, leaving a fresh aroma. "Wow, it really is refreshing!" She gave him a toothy smile and grabbed a cookie "Open up Mr.Sugawara." His eyes widened and the poor man choked on his lemonade, Y/n gave a hearty laugh and watched the poor man desperately trying to compose himself. His cheeks were a deep shade of red, just like the apples. "Omg, you really are choking!" She patted his back and tried to contain her giggles from escaping her mouth but failed. When Sugawara finally managed to compose himself, he started to chuckle. "Sorry for startling you, sensei." He cleared his throat and started to fan his face, with his hand "Please stop that." She chuckled and nodded "Ok, ok enough teasing."

------------- (Timeskip)

"Oh, she seems like a nice person." Daichi's voice echoed through the hotel room, Sugawara was currently on a facetime call with his friends, Asahi and Daichi. He was telling them about the events that occurred this morning. "Yeah, she is actually I was-" just when he was about to speak a notification popped up on his screen and he saw your name "She texted me!" Suddenly he snatched the immobilized phone on his desk "Calm down Sugawara!" Daichi and Asahi started to laugh, all of a sudden he started to feel like a high school boy. He read the text aloud for his friends to hear

Y/n: Good evening Sugawara! Would you like to accompany me to the beach tomorrow? The water is so clean and shiny here.

"I think you should go." Asahi voiced his opinion and Daichi nodded "Of course I'm gonna go!" They both chuckled and Sugawara's fingers started to type a fast reply

Sugawara: Sure, that would be great! I'll pick you up from your house at 10:00 am!

"Yeah that reply is good, be a gentleman." He rolled his eyes and puffed his cheeks "I'm always a gentleman, Daichi!" then a message from you got his attention and he shushed his friends

Y/n: No no! You don't need to pick me up, let's meet at the bus stop at 10!

Sugawara: Ok, see you tomorrow. Don't forget to bring your sunscreen!

He slapped his forehead and his friends laughed at his motherly behaviour "Way to go Sugawara!" His cheeks reddened and he shouted, "Awh shut up!" This only made his friend laugh louder than before.

Y/n: Haha, ok mom!

"She knows!" At this point, Daichi was rolling on the floor with his phone in his hand and Asahi was busy with wiping his tears. Sugawara never wanted to disappear so badly in his life before...

------------- (Timeskip)

"Sugawara, over here!" He saw Y/n waving at him, her baby blue dress flowing with the breeze and a pair of sunglasses on her eyes. Her signature smile was plastered on her cute face, smiling he made his way towards the bus stop "Good morning, were you waiting for me?" She shook her head "Nope, i just got here... Oh! I almost forgot." He gave her a questioning look and she dived her hand into the beach bag. "Aha found it!" She took out a sunscreen bottle and started to apply it to her face then she squeezed the bottle and collected the sunscreen on her pointer finger and walked towards Sugawara. Without saying anything, she started to apply it on his face and Sugawara's cheeks reddened. "What are you-" She giggled and replied, "You told me to bring some remember?" He averted his eyes and stared at the rocks under his feet, his motherly behavior's gonna be the end of him. "Uh... Yeah, I forgot about that." He closed his eyes and let you do your work on his face, your delicate and cool fingers felt good on his skin, he gave a sigh of bliss. Then a voice interrupted the romantic aura "You are such a cute wife, young lady." An old woman approached them and smiled at Y/n, her eyes widened and she smiled. Sugawara immediately waved his hands "No no-" Then he felt her hand squeeze his. "Shh, just play along Mr.Sugawara, she's just an old lady." Then she continued to apply the sunscreen on his cheeks "Thank you." She thanked the old lady and they started to chat, Sugawara admired her soft futures while she talked with the old lady. "You two remind me of my husband and myself when we were younger." Y/n let out a small 'aww' "It may sound cheesy but we were so in love with each other, sadly he passed away a year ago." Sugawara bowed "Sorry for your loss." Y/n nodded and did the same, the old lady smiled "Always take care of each other, i lost my mom and my dad but losing the love of my life was the hardest." They both listened to her intently and 5 minutes later the bus arrived. "Let's go! Sugawara." He nodded and took the bags.

They found a seat on the front and sat next to each other. "The lady was so sweet." Y/n muttered and he nodded, confirming her statement. "Losing your lover must be really painful huh, Sugawara?" He hummed and locked eyes with her "Have you ever been in love before Y/n?" She looked at the window, admiring the surroundings, then she turned towards him and smiled "No, what about you?" Sugawara rubbed his chin and started to think, yes there were times when he admired Kiyoko but other than that, he never fell in love. "Well there was someone i admired when i was in high school but she got married with our teammate." Y/n hummed and smirked "So you were a simp?" He sulked like a child "What? No!" She laughed "I'm just teasing you, don't worry."

They arrived and found a comfortable spot for sunbathing, Sugawara's phone rang and he got up "I'll be back" he smiled at the girl and she nodded. He walked towards the sea and looked at the caller ID 'Nishinoya' he sighed and answered "Your timing is terrible, Nishinoya." Nishinoya's hearty laugh echoed "How are you doing Sugawara-san, i heard you leaving Japan for a vacation?" He hummed "Yes, can I call you later? I made a friend and she's waiting for me." Noya gasped "You found a girl, way to go Sugawara-san!" His cheeks started heating up "It's not like that! We are just keeping each other company, so how is the world tour going?" Noya started to let out some excited noises "I'm at Brazil, you need to see these hot chicks!" Sugawara pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed "You never change do you?" Noya laughed "What can i say? Oh! Don't make your 'friend' wait and let me know about the details, later!" Just when Sugawara was about the open his mouth, Nishinoya ended the call and he made his way towards your spot. "Sorry Y/n, my friend called..." His voice weakened and he saw you applying some sunscreen on your legs, your dress was off and the white bikini with small cherries on it suited you well. He quickly cleared his throat and took off his shirt. "Woah..." Your voice got his attention and he saw you staring at him "O-oh, sorry." He averted his eyes "I was a volleyball player at school and after quitting, i started to work out didn't wanted to lose my form." Your eyes sparkled with interest "You never told me that you were a volleyball player, i love volleyball!" Suddenly he felt shy "Oh, really?" You hummed and patted the empty spot in front of you "Come on, sit. Let me apply some sunscreen on your back." He fidgeted shyly and nodded, when he felt your small hand on his back he twitched "Are they cold?" He shook his head and you started to apply the sunscreen while admiring his back, it was pale like snow and slim but the muscles were visible. "What about your back?" You closed the lid "While you were talking with the phone a lady helped me with it, don't worry." You got up started to walk towards the sea and didn't notices his eyes lingering on your back. "Come on Sugawara!" He smiled and jogged up to you, you dipped your feet into the water and flinched "Gosh, it's so cold!" Then Sugawara smirked at you and started to do grabby hands "Oh, really?" You arched a brow "What are you doing?" Suddenly he picked you up bridal style and slowly got into the water "Sugawara, please no!" You shouted then started to swing your legs and grabbed his shoulders, he gave a hearty laugh "Too late." and dropped you, the cold water sent shivers down your spine. "I'm gonna make you pay!" Then a water fight break out between you two, both of you were laughing like little kids and having the time of your life.

It has been a long time since Sugawara had this kind of fun, you were always teasing him and being playful and that made his day. This vacation was the best one he had so far, he finally forgot about his teaching duties and focused on himself.

-------------

After two weeks of swimming, shopping and eating all kinds of food. You decided to invite Sugawara for dinner, during these two weeks you had the best time in your life and developed a crush on him. His smile, caring personality, hazel eyes every single thing about him captivated you but you didn't want to confess anything bc in the end, he needed to leave and even if he stayed, you knew your relationship wouldn't last long. After getting rid of the dark thoughts you started to type a quick invitation.

Y/n: Hey Sugawara! Would you like to have dinner at my place?

-------------

Sugawara was laying on his bed staring at the ceiling, his head was messy with a lot of thoughts and all of his thoughts revolved around one person 'Y/n' these 2 weeks have been the most exciting period of his life. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, he didn't want to rush things just then his phone dinged and he took it from his nightstand

*A message from Y/n*

A smile appeared on his features and his eyes sparkled with excitement, it was a dinner invitation and his heart skipped a beat. He quickly texted a reply

Sugawara: Of course! I'll be there at 8:00 pm

------------- (Timeskip)

*Ding dong* "He's here!" You quickly checked yourself on the mirror and ran towards the door. Your hands were sweating uncontrollably but you didn't care. When your small hand turned the doorknob your eyes met with his dazzling smile. "Good evening." He had a bouquet of daisies in his hands and he shyly handed it to you, you smiled "Please come in." He nodded and took started to take off his shoes "Thank you for the flowers, they are breathtaking." You guided him towards your front yard "I'm glad you like them."

The front yard was decorated with some yellow lights then his eyes met with a small table for two. There were cushions on the grass and a small pergola covered with vines. Sugawara admired the garden with wide eyes "This is my first time seeing your garden up close." You hummed "Please have a seat, I grilled some fresh salmon." His eyes sparkled with hunger and he speed-walked towards the chair. You giggled and served him some salad with delicious appetizers, "This is delicious, Y/n." Your cheeks reddened "Oh, I'm glad you like it." then you ate in silence, the atmosphere was different tonight, normally you two like to tease each other and chat for hours but tonight both of you were feeling kinda nervous. "Excuse me Y/n, I need to use the bathroom real quick." You nodded and gave him a small smile.

--------

When Sugawara made it to the bathroom, he leaned his back to the door and closed his eyes. He started to take deep breaths and tried to calm his racing heart "Come on Sugawara, get it together." He walked towards the sink and splashed his face with some cold water, then he grabbed a towel and dried his hands just when he was about to join you again he saw the open drawer there were some documents hanging from it. He arched a brow "It's her privacy but they are gonna fall." Then he walked towards the drawer and grabbed the documents "Here we go-" His heart stopped beating and hazel eyes widened.

Patient name: Y/n L/n

Age: 24

The reason for the test: Lung cancer

Test Results: Soft tissue lesions were found in the right and left lung. Tumors have reached a dangerous size.

"Lung what..." His hands were shaking, everything was meaningless, dangerous size? Were you hiding it from him, how long, were you in pain? He squeezed the documents and dashed towards the garden.

---------

"Y/N!" Sugawara's loud voice alerted you, standing from your seat you saw him running towards you with tears in his eyes "Sugawara what-" His arms enveloped you in a tight embrace and he started to tremble then... You felt his tears on your shoulder "Sugawara are you okay?" Your voice was laced with worry. His hands clawed on your t-shirt and your arms wrapped around his waist "It's okay I'm here I'm not going anywhere." He clenched his teeth "How can you say that?!" Your eyes widened "What?" His puffy eyes finally met yours "How can i believe you, why didn't you tell me you were sick, what if you disappear?!" A horrified look appeared on your face "H-how did you find out?" His vacation was supposed to be filled with happy memories and yet he managed to find out, you felt terrible "Sugawara you weren't supposed to see that document." Your eyes glistened with tears. "This is what you care about, Y/n why didn't you tell me?!" You tried to hold the tears back but it didn't work, they started to run down your face. "I... I just wanted to fill these 3 weeks with happy memories." He squeezed his eyes shut and pulled you in again, this time squeezing even harder than before. "When did you learn about it?" You buried your face in his neck and returned the hug "4 months ago, that's why i came here in the first place. The doctor said i should leave the city and get some fresh air." The tears started to fall from his eyes again "Y/n, cant you have surgery?" You shook your head and tried to lighten the mood "No the tumors on my lungs are too big but hey, my lungs keep getting better and better Sugawara, don't worry everything is going to be alright." Reality dawned on him, hard. He only got 2 weeks then he needed to leave and return to his job. "No, i can't leave you here Y/n how can i return to Japan..." You squeezed your eyes shut it's now or never... "Hey, Sugawara?" He gave out a weak hum and you continued "I like you." A desperate sob came out of his mouth and he nodded "I like you too."

--------

"Sugawara..." He collected the pillows on her "Are you comfortable?" She nodded and pulled him in a kiss, they were currently in her room. After the sentimental moment, Sugawara didn't want to leave her alone and she gladly accepted. He gently take off his shirt and tugged at hers "May i?" She covered her face with her arm and nodded, he smiled and pecked her lips "Let me see your eyes Y/n." She hesitantly lowered her arm and met with his gorgeous hazel eyes. "I can stop if you don't want to." She shook her head and caressed his cheek "Don't stop, i want to feel you...sensei. That's what they call you at Japan right? Sensei..." His breath hitched in his throat and hungry eyes started to devour her form "Don't do that." He warned her "Do what?" He started to leave open-mouthed kisses on her neck "Don't call me sensei." He took her shirt off and her legs wrapped around his waist "Please teach me, Kōshi Sensei." And hearing his first name fall from her lips made him lose his composure, her lips welcomed his hot tongue with enthusiasm "Kōshi-" She mumbled, her hands found the back of his head and started to massage his scalp a satisfied moan fell from his lips "I love you Y/n."

--------

The sun attacked the grey head's face and he turned towards the other side to protect his face then his nose touched something soft. Opening his eyes, hazel orbs met with her cute features. She was sleeping soundly and a caring smile crossed his lips. Peppering her face with small kisses alerted her and she slowly opened her eyes with a small moan. "Good morning." Sugawara said with a hushed tone. A smile appeared on her face and her arms wrapped around his neck "Morning, Kōshi." Hearing his name made his stomach churn in a good way, then he continued to pepper her face with kisses. All of a sudden she started to giggle and that made Sugawara giggle as well "What are you laughing at?" She tried to stop her giggles but failed "Your kisses tickles." Then his hands started to dance on her exposed stomach and she squeaked "Kōshi, no it tickles!"

Both of them were breathing heavily "I won." Sugawara laughed and plopped on his back, Y/n was trying to recover from all the tickling. Then she straightened up and turned towards her lover "Hey, lets take a bath I'll prepare it for us." Sugawara's cheeks started to heat up and he squeaked "Together...?" She turned towards him and grinned "Yeah."

Sugawara knocked on the bathroom door and heard a faint 'Come in.' Then slowly turned the doorknob the see Y/n taking off her undergarments. She gave him a genuine smile and got in "Come, Kōshi." He shyly smiled back and joined her in the bathtub, Y/n leaned her back on his chest and let out a blissful sigh. After enjoying the warmth of the water in comfortable silence, he tightened his hold on her waist. "Y/n, what can i do for you?" It was hushed like a whisper but he wanted her to hear it and she did. "Hmm, what do you mean by that?" He leaned his head on hers "Please, i don't care how much it costs if there's a way for your sickness let me-" She turned her head and locked eyes with him, she was smiling but it was almost sad. "You being here with me is enough, i told you im getting better Kōshi." Even tho she said that she was getting better, Kōshi didn't want to risk it, the thought of her getting even sicker or passing away brought tears in his eyes. "Are you sure Y/n? Maybe we can-" She shook her head and cut him off "No, i want both of us to enjoy this vacation together, you're going to leave after 2 weeks am i wrong?" His heart broke, he completely forgot about the fact that he was going to leave "No! I'm not gonna leave Y/n." She sighed and pecked his cheek "You're a teacher, you need to be on duty. We'll see each other in summer again." He shook his head and hugged her even tighter "I don't want to go, i cant wait till summer! Can't you come with me? We'll rent a house for you and it can be far away from the city?" She gave him a sad smiled and turned fully to face him, she sat on his legs and started to play with his cheeks "I can't come with you, i need to stay here. Also, my doctor is here." No matter what he said, she declined. "Let's fill these remaining weeks with good memories, we'll see each other again right?" He nodded with tears in his eyes and they sealed the promise with a sweet kiss.

--------

Two weeks passed by with them spending time together and each passing day, Sugawara fell more for her. The thought of leaving made him shake with sadness. Tonight was his last night in Turkey and they were currently sitting on the sand of the empty beach, enjoying each other's presence, then Y/n turned to her bag "I have a surprise for you." Sugawara raised a brow and smiled "Oh, really?" Then he saw a violin in her small hands, his eyes sparkled with happiness "You'll be playing for me?" He asked with excitement and she nodded, smiling. She got up and stared at the sea, Sugawara's eyes watched his lover carefully. She was beautiful and breathtaking in every way. Then she took a deep breath and an angelic melody reached his ears. Both of their hearts were beating like crazy, the piece was slow and sentimental. It almost sounded like a goodbye and the next thing he saw was the blurry image of her, he was tearing up. He just wanted to take her with him, find a solution and live happily together but the reality was cruel. Her delicate fingers danced on the strings and the other one gripped the bow softly. Creating a soft melody dance in the air. He listened to the captivating melody in silence and let the tears flow down.

"Did you like it K-" she turned to see him with red cheeks and teary eyes and sat next to him quickly wiping his tears away with her thumbs. "It was beautiful Y/n..." her arms lopped around his neck and enveloped him in a hug. They sat in silence and her fingers danced in his grey locks. He inhaled her sweet scent end let it calm him down. "You'll come to the airport tomorrow, right?" He asked with a shaky voice, pecking his cheek she squeezed his hand and flashed him the most beautiful smile "Of course! And don't worry I'll text you daily." He pouted in a childish manner "You better." that made her giggle she leaned towards him and their foreheads met "Next summer will be better Kōshi I'll fully recover, i promise." her eyes opened and admired his face "Just be healthy, we can always go on a vacation."

------------- (Timeskip)

Sugawara gripped his luggage, he was gripping it like his life depended on it his knuckles turned white and his heart was aching. He turned towards the love of his life and he saw the tears in her eyes. A quiet sob was heard from her lips and he enveloped her in a tight hug, her hands gripped his shirt and she buried her face on his chest. "Text me every day, every hour, every minute." She only hiccupped and nodded then whispered "I will..." He cupped her face with his palms and wiped her tears but he couldn't do anything for his own tears and let them flow "Take care of yourself, don't catch a cold, consume protein and vitamins also drink a lot of water, no alcohol and don't forget to-" She giggled "Don't you worry Kōshi I'm not a child, you take care of yourself too." He rubbed their noses together and placed a loving kiss on her lips. "I love you so much Y/n." She hugged him for the last time and inhaled his calming scent. "I love you, Kōshi." He checked his watch and gave her a sad look, she nodded and smiled. He started to walk towards the gates, his steps were heavy they almost screamed at him not to go. His heart was having a hard time beating and his eyes blurred with tears then he heard her beautiful voice "Kōshi!" he instantly turned and saw her waving her hands in the air "Have a safe flight, i love you so much, I'll be waiting for you!" He smiled with tears in his eyes then waved his hands in the air "When you get better, I'll take you to Japan!" she gave him a thumbs up and continued to wave, he laughed and walked to his gate with a smile on his face.

------------- (Timeskip)

His friends came to welcome him, they were expecting a happy and energetic Sugawara but instead they saw a guy with puffy and red eyes, his eyes looked empty and sad. They both ran up to him "Sugawara, what happened?!" He broke down and started to sob uncontrollably, Asahi grabbed his luggage and Daichi led him to his car, then Sugawara started to tell them about his lover's sickness between loud sobs and they couldn't do anything but listen to him with sad looks on their faces. Daichi was driving and Sugawara was sitting at the front. Asahi was at the back then he leaned forward and touched the grey head's shoulder with a comforting manner. "Is there something we can do, Sugawara?" Daichi asked with a small glint of hope in his eyes, Asahi nodded and added "Yeah, if the problem is money we can collect it together." Sugawara shook his head and the tears continued to flow from his eyes. "No, apparently the tumors are too big and she wouldn't survive." He cupped his face with his hands, they tried everything to cheer him up but failed. "I'm sorry for dropping the mood." He apologized between sobs and Daichi turned to him with a frown on his face "You are our best friend, your pain is our pain, don't you ever say that." Asahi let out a sound of approval and voiced his opinion "I'm actually happy that you shared your problem with us." He looked at his friends and tried to give them a smile but it looked more like a grimace.

-----------

He finally got home and ran to the shower, after taking a quick one he immediately opened his phone and saw a message from you, his heart pounded

Y/n: When you get home, please text me!

A sigh of relief left his lips and instead of texting he found your name on his contacts and pressed the call button, after three rings you opened with an energetic tone "Kōshi! Are you home?" Your beautiful voice ringed in his ears "Yeah." his voice cracked and you stayed silent for a while "Y/n?" He heard her sigh "Kōshi you didn't cry, did you?" He cleared his throat and tried to compose himself, he didn't want to make you sad. "N-no, i just fell asleep on the way home and i guess it wore me out." He let out a fake laugh and tried to ease her worry "Oh, don't you dare feel sad ok?" She raised her voice in a scolding tone and he smiled "You too, stay positive." You hummed and both of you listened to each others breathing in silence "Then, since you just came I'll hang up so you can clean and organize your stuff." he let out a small 'okay' "I love you Kōshi, call you later." He smiled "I love you too." then she hung up.

------------

Days, weeks and months passed by with late-night phone calls and facetimes. You told him that you were getting better and better and reassured him saying you were eating all of your meals and going on early walks. Both of you even started to make plans for the summer and you promised him to play your violin for him. Everything was going to be okay, relief washed over him.

Sugawara just came back from his works and decided to give you a call, you loved hearing about his day and it always made his day. There was a small smile on his face, he pressed 'call' and waited to hear your voice, after a couple of rings the ringing stopped and he thought you picked "Hey Y/n! I-" then a monotone voice cut him off "The person your calling is busy now, please try again later." It got on voicemail and he furrowed his brows. Hanging up he sent a quick text.

Sugawara: Just came back from work, call me when you're back!

Multiple scenarios started to appear on his head and he shooed them away, you were okay just busy. At the end of the day, you always call him back and listen to his day while working on your new violin piece. He walked towards the bathroom and decided to clean himself up. Then after getting clean he decided to eat dinner and quickly fixed up some edible stuff. During his time in Turkey, you cooked him multiple dishes and he loved every single one of them. He missed your cooking and his thoughts started to get cloudy with your memories again. He searched for his phone and looked at his text, it was still on delivered. A frown appeared on his face and he tried calling you again.

"The person your calling is busy now, please try again later."

An hour

Again.

"The person your calling is busy now, please try again later."

Two hours

Again.

"The person your calling is busy now, please try again later."

Three hours.

Again

"The person your calling is busy now, please try again later."

Panic started to rise in him and he quickly called Daichi, after listening to his friend's worries Daichi pursed his lips and started to think. "Maybe she went to see her friends?" Tears started to form in Sugawara's eyes and she shook his head "No Daichi, she always texts or calls me before going somewhere!" Daichi didn't want to be pessimistic after hearing his friend's shaky breaths and tried his best to calm him down "Okay Sugawara, take a deep breath everything is gonna be fine, want me to come over?" Sugawara replied with a 'yes please' then hung up. He walked towards his bedroom and plopped on the bed with his phone in his hand, he looked at the multiple delivered texts:

Sugawara: Y/n where are you?

Sugawara: Y/n please call me

Sugawara: I'm trying to reach you for hours, you are worrying me

Sugawara: Y/n please

He sobbed and prayed for your wellbeing, his hand clenched the phone and waited for his friend to come, he didn't know what to do... Then an idea popped up in his head, he dashed towards the living room and found his laptop sitting on the table. Opening it, he quickly looked at the plane tickets and found a flight to Turkey at 5 in the morning without thinking twice, he quickly booked a ticket and started to pack his things. He quickly called the school principal and wanted an emergency leave luckily, the principal wasn't heartless.

*Ding dong* he dashed towards the door and his eyes met with a worried Daichi "Suga, you okay?" Sugawara quickly nodded his head and led him towards his living room "What the-" clothes were everywhere, there was an open suitcase sitting on the floor with a laptop next to it. "What are you doing, Sugawara?" He turned towards his friends "I'm flying to Turkey this morning, i already asked for permission from the principal." Daichi's eyes widened "Sugawara arent you making rushed decisions, are you sure they are good for you?" Sugawara furrowed his bros "Daichi, i need to see her as soon as possible." Sugawara was a grown man so there wasn't much his friends could do. "Maybe you should wait for a bit, what if she's busy?" Sugawara shook his head "She never goes somewhere far away without letting me know." Daichi averted his eyes to the floor and prayed *I hope she's alright...* Then his eyes looked at Sugawara, there was no trace of his old energetic friend.

------------

*Beep beep beep* He quickly got up from his bed and grabbed his suitcase. He got his car's keys and started to drive towards the airport. His heart was beating like crazy, then the car came to a stop with the red light and he quickly grabbed his phone, sending Daichi a quick text.

Sugawara: On my way to the airport, be back soon.

After driving for nearly an hour he parked his car somewhere safe and walked towards the security, the security greeted him "Good morning, sir." He nodded and greeted back. Then he speed-walked to grab his ticket and while waiting for the lady to give him his ticket, he sent a text, to you.

Sugawara: I'm coming, love.

The lady handed the ticket with a small smile on her face and he snatched it like a cat then dashed towards the gates. "Dear Turkey passengers, this is the last call. Please go to gate 107." His eyes looked for the gate and hazel eyes spotted the number '107' not paying attention to his surroundings he quickly made his way towards the gate and waited for the check-in.

------------- (Timeskip)

After his plane landed, he quickly called for an uber and gave him your address. His eyes looked at the surroundings and his heart filled with nostalgia a couple of months ago, he was here with you hugging and crying while driving to the airport. "I'm coming Y/n."

"Hope you have a good day sir." The uber dropped him of, his eyes looked the small house and his heart pounded in his ears, he quickly walked towards the front door and ring the bell. He tapped his foot and scratched the back of his neck, then he ringed again. His heartbeat quickened and a lump formed in his throat just then... *click* His eyes widened and just when he was about to attack you with a hug a middle-aged woman came to his view. "Hello, is Y/n here?" He asked with a panicked expression, the woman gave him a weird look and a young woman appeared behind her "Oh, how can we help you?" Her voice was weak and filled with sadness. "My name is Sugawara Kōshi I'm looking for Y/n L/n, I'm her lover." The young woman's eyes widened and she opened the door "Please... Come inside."

She led him towards Y/n's living room and the memories came crashing back at him. The woman quickly poured him a cup of tea and sat down, the middle-aged woman looked at him with silence. The young lady opened her mouth "I'm Y/n's aunt, and this is my mother, we are here because..." Sugawara gripped the mug in his hands and prayed but "Y/n, she passed away." Her sobs filled the room and Y/n grandma started to wipe her own tears while muttering her prayers. The world stopped; her voice, her smile, her tears, her scent, her laugh, pout... Everything started to appear before his eyes and he couldn't process it, she can't be gone. She was right here, she texted him yesterday morning. This cant be true, he placed the mug on the small table and caged his head with his hands "My Y/n..." His tears dripped on his knees her aunt and grandmother looked at him with sad eyes and let him mourn for the loss of his lover. "C-can i please see her room?" He tried to speak between hiccups and her aunt nodded he slowly climbed up the stairs and opened the door to her room, her scent filled his nose and his knees wobbled he walked up to her bed and took one of the pillows. Pressing is to his nose, her scent made its way to his lungs but her warmth was absent. He poured his feelings out and started to cry his loud sobs filled the room and her aunt closed the door to let him be. "You told me you were getting better..." His runny nose made it hard for him to breathe but he didn't care, he looked at the bed and remembered the mornings he had with you. When you looked at him through your half-lidded eyes and gave him a sleepy smile, when you spent the night in each other's presence, when you sat on top of him and had tickle fights... He wanted to wake up from this nightmare and wanted to see you laying beside him, greeting him with a soft 'Good morning.' But no... The room smelled like you, then where were you? After staying in your room for twenty minutes he walked down the stairs and saw your aunt sitting on the couch with some papers in her hands, when she felt his presence he motioned for him to come "Please have a seat." He obeyed and sat down, facing her. "This is for you..." She hold out some papers and he took it, the moment he realized what it was, tears came back. Music notes were everywhere, it was a piece for him... The piece had a small note at the end 'For my Kōshi' then her signature at the bottom. Her aunt cleared her throat "Her sickness, got worse. She told us she was feeling great, turns out she was just trying to be optimistic about it..." Sugawara's heart was shattered into pieces after all this time you were just trying to look happy and healthy because you didn't want him to feel sad. He felt so disgusted with himself he was so selfish while you were having a conflict with those tumors he was just being selfish, he gripped the piece and pressed it on his chest, then he looked at the name of the piece and all he could hear was your laughter playing on and on in his mind.

Piece: Summer Breeze

#sugawara kōshi #sugawara x reader #sugawara angst #haikyuu sugawara #haikyuu!!#koshi x reader #koshi sugawara x reader #koshi sugawara #sugawara scenario #sugawara fluff #sugawara fic #sugawara drabble

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space-dragon-ace · 2 years

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My ipad is being a doodoo head so you can get a traditional drawing

Meet Isabelle! An oc I made just on a whim (we stan that) (I seem to have a thing for having oc's with a really long fringe thing)

Isabelle is from a family who has dedicated their lives to Mondstadt and her people. Each member of the family helped Mondstadt is various ways, from being knights, to being healers, to devoting themselves to the church.

Isabelle had chosen, from a young age, to devote herself to the church. She's passionate and driven, she loves her job and she loves the people around her. While she may get a little too exited about history (Both that of Mondstadt and her family) she often knows when to quiet down and dissolve into the background.

Isabelle is a healer, she's passionate about it too. (wait I'm realising this is my second healer oc...) She prefers to use magic over science. She thinks it's 'easier' to heal through magic, but her peers often cite it as the hardest way to heal someone. She obviously has a natural gift for healing

Her vision is a family heirloom and has been passed down for generations, though, Isabelle is the first to revive her vision in the last four generations. The original holder of Isabelle's vision was Molin. Not much is known about them, but the stories tell that Molin was dedicated to Mondstadt at a time the Lawerence clan ruled. While Vanessa is the main story to come out of that period, rumour has it that Molin helped the people of Mondstadt stay on their feet. Upon Molin's death they gave their vision to their child and thus began the tradition of passing it down.

Isabelle was young when she first saw the vision, though she didn't see it again until she was a teenager. Isabelle's parents never anticipated that she'd light the vision again. Her family saw it as a payment for the generations of good deeds her family has done

Isabelle prides herself in being a sister, and is never caught tardy for meetings and practice. She's taken it upon herself to be 'Rosaria's worst nightmare' meaning she just drags Rosaria out on her morning walks and puts on a cute face when she wants Rosaria to come to choir practice and sermons

(I said she wouldn't be complicated but alas... here we are lmao) (I hope this makes sense, I haven't reread it and its 1am)

1 - I adore her look. Especially the little heart under her eye, is it a tattoo? Or just make-up art she has to put on every morning and renew every few hours? And the skirt is great! I have no idea what they are called in English, but I love these kinda skirts the most.

2 - Her backstory is super interesting, we love a good history nerd. Would she teach young children or even adults about history? Like, kids who's parents have to work get brought in some sort of daycare in the church, and Isabelle is teaching them all about history when she's on duty watching them. Passed down Vision is something not used often enough. Sure we all have cool ideas as to how and when an OC gets a Vision, but...a Vision that was already there coming back to life? What could be the reason? Especially when it's this long since it was last seen active.

3 - It's so fun what an RP can bring, isn't it? I mean...two marriages and a new OC! What happens next?!

#- Cloud

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star-anise · 4 years

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Hey! I recently discovered and devoured the Wild Magic series at my local library, and the romance that developed at the end of the series was actually very upsetting to me. Not only was the age gap huge, the power dynamic was one of a student and her mentor, which felt v wrong to me. I read these at a much older then intended age, and I’m curious to get the perspective on this of someone who read them at the “right” age. Was this gross at 10? How do you feel upon reflection?

When I was 10, I thought it was FABULOUS MAGICAL ID CANDY and would have been upset if the series ended any other way.

Now that I’m older? I still understand why the relationship works for these people in this culture, but the age gap is genuinely bad optics and teaches kids some bad lessons, like, “It’s definitely great for teenagers to date people twice their ages!”.

But at the same time, if you gave me the series to rewrite (for example, if anyone wanted to hire me to help create a TV adaptation!), I wouldn’t take Daine and Numair’s romance out, personally; I’d change it to make it more appropriate, both altering their respective ages, giving Daine more development and maturity, than I think you could get away with in 1990s YA, and giving them some time without the student/teacher roles before the romance happens.

Part of why teenagers in our culture are so vulnerable is that there’s an extreme dichotomy between “you are a NAIVE AND INNOCENT CHILDLING you do NOT get to make your own choices” where kids can go right up to 18 having never made any important choices for themselves–not their hobbies, not their studies, not their forms of relaxation, not their friends. They’ve never had a haircut their parents disapproved of, and suddenly they’re shipped off to university with total autonomy. Or, before 18, most kids in most places do not have the right to learn anything more about sex than their parents want them taught; if their parents refuse permission to sex ed in school, they might not know anything about sex. And then they turn 18 and they lose most of the legal protections keeping them safe from predators and it’s open season.

That’s a really bad disconnect. It takes a lot of practice to learn things like “disagreeing with people without completely losing your shit” or “telling someone you love who wants something from you that you don’t want to give it to them” or “telling people vulnerable things about yourself and having that respected”. Those are the fundamental building blocks that make relationships safe, that let you add more reactive chemicals like romance and sex without it all blowing up.

Tortall is in its way this dream of an adolescence where you get to start doing meaningful work right away. In other series, Kel and Alanna chose to pursue knighthood at ten years old, and Neal is like this ~super late entry~ at 14. Pages leave “school” and become squires doing fieldwork at 14, usually. Meanwhile, I knew what I wanted to do when I was 12, and I spent the next twelve years jumping through academic hoops that only vaguely related to that before I could even get close to the kind of work that I wanted to do (and am now doing). I feel like there’s got to be some reasonable middle ground between “Let’s send 14-year-olds into battle!” and “You may begin acting like an adult at age 25″.

A big part of the difference between Daine and actual teenagers is that she’s been functionally treated by everyone in the cast as… if not an adult, then a fully autonomous adolescent who answers for herself. She gets to make all the important decisions about where she lives and what work she does. She’s had authority over fully grown adults since she was like… 13? 14? And all the other adults have completely backed her up in that. The adults around her know she’s young and learning and a little unsteady on her feet, so they provide her education and emotional support and financial resources and social support.

Of course, as a 10 year old, I then thought it totally reasonable that *I* should be able to function as a mini-adult, and that… is not actually realistic, both because I hadn’t had nearly the same enculturation that would prepare me to make those decisions, and everyone else in our society is not really equipped to handle Adolescents With Jobs.

I’ve held back from writing my dissertation on How I Would Change The Immortals (for example, if someone wanted me to adapt it for TV…) right now, because I have some thoughts on what a more accurate and healthy portrayal of teenage development should be.

Because while kids in our world do need protection as they mature, that maturation cannot just be this purity culture “YOU CAN HAVE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ONLY ABOUT SOMEONE WITHIN TWELVE MONTHS OF YOUR OWN AGE” bullshit. Some of the purity police literally say that acknowledging that teens have sexual thoughts is “sexualizing minors”, as if human sexuality literally only springs into being when kids have passed some magical age.

The truth is the absolute opposite: Kids need safe ways of exploring themselves and their sexuality. A complete absence of things like dating people within a few years of themselves or reading a wide variety of stories about relationships, both good and bad, doesn’t generally protect them; it atrophies their ability to make critical judgments and decisions. Kids need to be encouraged to experiment in whatever way is comfortable for them, and then ask themselves questions like, “How does this make me feel? Do I like this? What don’t I like about it? What would I change if I could? Do I want to do more of this, or stop? What else would I rather do instead?”

This could be anything from an aroace teenager reading books about romance and going, “Yeah, that does not at all sound appealing to me” to a teenager having a crush on their teacher and learning how to handle those emotions in a way that makes it easier for them to have a crush on someone who’s actually a dating possibility, to teenagers actually–gasp!–deciding that a certain kind of sex (including a certain emotional connection and physical aspect) sounds really cool and they’d really like to try it if they can find a safe and willing partner. They might even learn about how to do that safely and find someone willing and appropriate and try it out! And that’s a process that should be supported by not having to lie to adults about what they’re doing, and by proper sex education, birth control, and medical care.

And then when you’re an adult, when you have actual mastery and ability to decide between several different viable life paths… you actually can re-negotiate a few relationships. Relationships can go from adult-child to adult-adult. You’re not nearly as vulnerable. And in that place, there are a lot more possibilities open.

#relationship age gap #child abuse tw #csa tw #fandom purity culture #tortall #staranise original #long post

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ominouslyqueer · 4 years

Text

The doll was a bit of an oddity among the daycare employees. The kids loved it, which in and of itself could be considered odd, but then again kids will latch on to the weirdest, creepiest things with ease, their minds not yet filled with horror stories about dolls with sunken eyes and faded skin, who seem to stare as you walk around the room. They just saw a vessel to play, and its looks didn't really factor in too much, especially at that age. Kids are going to be kids, and so they don't notice when the employees avoid touching the doll, or being in the same room if they can help it.

It's of little surprise that the employees are not so welcoming to the doll. If it weren't for the fact that the kids adored it (and that had led to several talks about sharing when that love caused conflicts on whose turn it was), they'd have chucked it a long time ago.A few of the oldest employees remembered when it arrived, in its own box among the several that came from the big, old house up on the hill.

Apparently it was passed down from one child to the next, until family line died out and it was left sitting on an empty bed, found by a distant cousin who came to collect their inheritance. The toys were boxed up, the more antique ones sold, and the rest sent to the local daycare where they could be enjoyed once more. Most were a hit, but the doll was special, seeming to connect with every child in a way that drove many to tears when they had to leave her at the end of the day. Another factor that led the employees to do little beyond sitting her in her designated corner during cleanup before doing their best to ignore her completely.

Of course, there would have to be more to explain their feelings for the doll, that for many only barely fell below true fear. The doll possessed many qualities about it, watching eyes, an uneasy grin, hair that no matter what would always end up back in the neat, tight braid. But this was not enough to unsettle them, no, that would be what happened during the night. Because no matter what the doll underwent during the day, the rough play causing lost arms or legs, chunks or hair or even once the button eyes, by the following morning she would once more be in her pristine, creepy glory. At one point they had tried to take her from the building, but again she had appeared, the employee who had taken her home confused and unwilling to even touch her again after that.

They had been worried for the kids, keeping an eye out for anything strange. They had come to the conclusion that some form of spirit was present, and the more religious ones worried that it could be demonic. At one point they had tried an exorcism even, but the same things kept occurring anyways.

The kids didn't notice anything amiss, just continuing to play with her until her fabric skin was worn right through and her stuffing spread across the floor, only to wind up all in one piece the next morning. She never seemed to do anything to the kids themselves, and no parent ever complained of nightmares or whatever other influences such a presence may have had. So, the majority of them decided that whatever was present was simply benign, and for whatever reason wished to spend their eternity with the chaos that is a room full of toddlers. The few who truly feared her managed to ignore her, though their hands were never far from any religious or spiritual items for protection.

That day hadn't been unusual in any way. The kids arrived, bringing with them their endless energy and desire for play. There were laughs, cries, tears, snacks, a single full-on breakdown from a particularly upset kid, and a thoroughly exhausted set of employees by the time the kids went home. That day had had a senior employee and two juniors, who were waved away by their superior when time to clean up. He enjoyed the calmness that followed the storm of children leaving the building, and cleaning was always more of a ritual than a chore. He wouldn't do it every night, but at least once a week he would take the chance to simply go about his duties alone, taking the time and care that showed just how long he had been doing this.

He was one of the oldest employees there, having arrived just after the infamous doll herself. He had quickly become a favorite, always calm and collected around the kids, but always quick with a smile or a joke for anyone who wanted to hear it. He had had many opportunities to rise above his role as caretaker, but he liked his job, and so he stayed put. He'd even met his wife here, one of the kids' mothers who laughed at even the worst of his jokes. It had helped that her daughter had loved him already from meeting with him each day. Now, she was entering college, and he was where he always was.

Slowly but surely, he makes his way through the small building. He cleans up the kitchen, the bathroom and the lobby, picking his way through the building as he wipes up spills and puts away books and toys. He clears up the yard outside, making sure the fence is still latched tightly shut. Once a child had managed to slip through, and it had been a stressful half hour before he had been found, playing under a tree calmly with the doll. He told them she had said to stay put before he ran further, and so he did. That itself had caused some more worries and weird feelings about the toy, but since it seemed she had been helpful overall, nothing more was said.

He enters the toy room last, always the final part of his cleaning routine. Immediately his eyes are drawn to her. She made it through the day mostly intact, the only flaw a small rip in her left leg. He cleans up the other toys, before moving to her, delicately picking up the small bits of stuffing that had fallen to the floor before lifting her too. He sits at the desk, the only adult-sized piece of furniture in the room, and sits her down on top of it so she's facing him. Carefully, he starts poking the stuffing back into her leg, a soft smile on his face as he does.

"It wasn't too bad again today. This bunch seem to be learning for the most part to be more careful."

For a moment his words just hang in the air, only silence answering him. He doesn't worry though, content to wait as he continues his work. It's about half a minute later when, between one blink and the next, there's a woman leaning on the desk besides him. She's tall, though barely taller than he is, a fact that he pointed out to her countless times. At first glance she seemed solid, but he knew how to catch the slight wavering of her form, as though her hold on this plane was slightly wavering.

He didn't look up, focusing still on making sure that all the pieces were returned to their proper place, but he knew if he did he'd be met with a smiling face and sparkling brown eyes that seemed far too alive to be a part of the spirit they were attached to. A small laugh rings out from beside him, and he lets his smile broaden until its a full grin.

"Well they always do once they've been here long enough. I've no doubt you have some influence in that."

Her voice is warm, matching her gaze as he finally turns to meet it. Her hair is in the usual braid, the silvering brown curling down her back. She's about fifty, dressed in jeans and a flowery blouse that flows around her, moved by a wind he cannot feel. She is lit from within with a blue glow, the only thing that truly marks her as otherworldly. Still, he is surprised at just how human she looks, and that thought lets him return his eyes to the work at hand.

"Well someone needs to teach them. Not everything in this world is as forgiving as you are when they play too roughly." He reaches into the drawer beside him, where his faithful sewing kit lays waiting. He picks a needle and thread, and begins sewing shut the small tear. Any trace of it will be gone by morning of course, but he hopes that doing this will at least help at reducing the amount of energy required to make that happen.

She lays a hand on his shoulder, though as always he barely feels the touch. Still, he doesn't hesitate to cover it with his own, feeling as though at any second his hand will fall through hers. It holds steady though, and they smile at each other.

"You are always so good to them, a fact that I have always loved. David seems to have especially been taken with you this year, the boy follows you around like a lost duckling. I'm pretty sure he's trying to copy your every move."

"Well I don't mind it much, he's a nice kid. It helps that he's never been too rough with you, or any of the other toys." Taking back his hand, he quickly finishes off the stitches, tying the red thread tight. He makes sure the doll is still stable in its sitting position, before standing up, moving to lean besides her. It makes talking easier, and even if he excuses it with complaints about stiff knees from sitting too long, he likes being able to talk to her again face-to-face.

"Well you can't hold it against them if they cause a few tears or scrapes, be it on us or themselves. They're kids, they are going to learn the way they learn most things, through clumsy and dedicated experiments with the world and all that's in it." She laughs, the sound floating throughout the room. "Do you remember that one girl, Emma? She was so curious about how everything was built, and every piece that went into it. I thought you were going to cry when you found her after she'd pulled every piece of me apart. I think that was the sternest you've ever been with anyone."

"Well I certainly didn't want that happening again, though I know you don't mind. It was more just letting her know that she shouldn't do that with other people's possessions that being upset with her for doing it at all." He shrugged. "I spoke with her parents too, and they were sure to supply her with a surplus of toys specifically to pull apart to keep her happy."

"Of course you did, I'm not surprised."

He feels his face heat up at her words, as well as the overwhelmingly soft look on her face. She reaches a hand up to cup his cheek, and even if it's barely there he leans into it.

"You always did your best to make sure everyone was happy and safe."

Pulling the hand away after a moment, she seems content to simply sit in silence, the two of them just enjoying being together. It is only when he is once again reminded of the constant question in his mind that he finds himself speaking once more, the calm night giving him the push that he'd needed to give voice to it.

"Why have you stayed, all these years? It takes so much of your energy to fix yourself almost every night, and at times you seem so tired that it is hard to watch. So... why?"

She doesn't answer right away, though his question clearly doesn't surprise her. She seems to mull over his words, picking the right ones to say in response. Finally, she sighs, the sound happy and calm as she meets his eyes once more.

"The children... they feel so strongly, you know? The happiness, sadness, anger, fear, it's all so new to them so when it happens it encompasses all that they are. Either the world is wonderful, or it's terrifying, and there's no in between. The way that they love is exactly that." She runs a hand through her hair, the few that had fallen free from her braid tangling slightly around her fingers.

"They love with everything that they are, and even if that love comes with tears and worn through holes and lost eyes I find that I can't just leave it behind. I was broken when Alison and I found out children weren't in our future, but being around the kids here, it helps. It's fixing the hole that's existed within me for as long as I can remember. Maybe one day it will be enough, and I will be able to move on. But for now... I find I don't want to go."

She seems lost in thought for a time, and he just leaves her to it, his own mind taking in all she had told him. He's drawn out of it when she nudges him in the side, the melancholy look that had taken over her face while she spoke replaced with the usual soft smile.

"Of course, you being here helps." She ruffles his hair, despite his half-hearted protests. "It always has, you know that."

"Doesn't hurt to hear it though." He jokes, pushing the wayward curls back into some form of order.

She grins, though it fades after a moment and she seems to hesitate. When the words do come, he's surprised by the trepidation that lines her tone, as though she is unsure whether she wants to know the answer.

"Erik, I feel like I should ask you the same thing. You have a life, unlike some, and there are so many things you could be doing with it. I know you love the children here as much as I do, but to stay here for all these years? Why?" Her voice wavers near the end, and though they do not fall he can see her eyes are bright with tears. He quickly reaches for her hand, enfolding it in between his as he ducks his head to catch her gaze from where she had averted it. It's only when she's looking at him that he answers, trying to fill his voice with all the love he felt for her in that moment.

"Well, part of it is as you said. I love the kids, and everyone here, they make my days so full of joy and laughter. But," He pauses, making sure she's listening. "A big part of why I came here in the first place is you, you know. I chose to make my life here because you wanted to stay."

She opens her mouth, undoubtedly to protest, but he lifts a hand to stop her.

"That doesn't mean I was forced to, or that you are holding me back from the life I could have had. I love it here, and I love you, and I chose to make my life into what it is now. Maybe I could be somewhere else, doing something that isn't this. But even if that would have made me happy, it doesn't change the fact that I am already so happy here, with you, and with the kids." He sighs, looking down at their joined hands. "Maisie and I talked long and hard about all of this, you know that. The finances are stable and Bea is nice and happy at her school. Especially now that she's all grown, I love the time that I spend here, the kids fill my life with purpose, and the fact that you're here too just makes that purpose even greater."

Now the tears do fall, slightly glowing as they roll down her cheeks, and she lets go of his hands only to throw her arms around him. He welcomes the embrace, happy to just let her cry.

Though she had had no children of her own, no one to give the doll that had been given to her by her own mother, she had doted on him growing up. His mother and her were closer than sisters, though not related by blood, and he had grown up running through the old halls of the house up on the hill. When she had passed, he had been heartbroken, which was made worse when he discovered that the doll that had meant the world to her had just been given away by the distant cousin who now owned the home.

He had worked hard to track it down, but when he had found her he had learned of how happy she made the kids. So, instead of taking her away, he decided instead to stay. It had only taken a week for him to discover she wasn't actually gone, having nearly passed out from shock when she first appeared to him one night when he was the only one left in the building. However, that shock quickly turned to joy, and having discovered the true passion he felt towards his new life's path, he had settled quite happily into the routine they had held for the past few decades.

He was as unwilling to leave her as she was to leave the kids, and it wouldn't shock him if when his time came, he joined her until the both of them could move on together. He had discussed the matter with his dear Maisie, and she had simply laughed, telling him she'd known that from the moment he had told her about the truth of the doll. Quite a remarkable woman, his wife, and he couldn't wait until the time came when he could finally introduce the two of them, even if it wasn't in this world. For now, Maisie seemed content to simply hear his stories, knowing that the time would come when she could speak to the remarkable woman who was such a major part of his life.

Now though, he simply holds her, in the quiet hours of the night when no one else was near. Curling her braid around his fingers, the way he had as a child, he murmurs a few words more, barely enough to be heard but ringing with their sincerity all the same.

"You're stuck with me, Aunt Helena. Forever and always."

#my writing #based on a reddit prompt #me #story #writing prompt #of course i had to put subtle lesbians in there #dolls #short story #ghost #fiction

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