#and i responded with 'why should i feel silly for experiencing true emotion?'. and that's just really guided me since i said it. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

forever-rogue · 3 years

Note

116 and 139 from the prompt list with Bucky please

Prompts used:

116. “I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”

139. “I thought you were a dream come true.”

A/N: Hello friends! I’m so glad to be writing for Bucky again. I hope you all enjoy! 🥺

Pairing: Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: none

MASTERLIST

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Bucky paused as he started at the brass 314 just above the top of the door to your apartment. The delicate gold threading of his vibranium arm glinted in the bright, artificial lighting of the hallway, causing him to pause for a moment as he contemplated walking away and never coming back. But no; that wasn’t him anymore, he wasn’t going to continually run away and lock himself up and shut everyone out in the process. The time for that was over, despite how hopeless it seemed at times.

Besides all of the hesitations and reservations he experienced, you’d never once made him feel small or insignificant or like he was just that Bucky. You’d always managed to see him for who he was, and slowly, over time he worked to shed the layers of worry and fear and let you see him, the real him. The seemingly ever present gloves had come off, followed by his jacket, and every other little barrier he had put up over the years. When he’d first told you who he was, who he really was, he’d watched your face flicker through a series of emotions before a smile tugged on the corners of your mouth and you’d responded with a simple okay. Then you told him everything about yourself; trust wasn’t easy, you’d reminded him that day, and it was a two way street. If he allowed himself to be vulnerable enough to open up to you, you would do the same.

It was hard to believe that it had been almost four months. In some ways it felt like no time had passed at all, and in other ways he felt like he’d known you for eons. He’d abhorred the concept of online dating, but for once, he was glad he had listened to Sam and Dr. Raynor and hadn’t deleted his profile on the spot. He had been ready to give up until he received the simple notification that you had matched with him and messaged him. Everything after that felt surprisingly...easy. You had proven to be a beacon of bright, brilliant sunlight in the seemingly endless storm. Not that he had told you that...not in those specific words anyway, but he had a lot of other tells that you picked up on.

As soon as he slipped back into reality and he prepared himself to knock, the door opened and he found you beaming at him.

“Hi James,” his expression softened and any lingering doubt he had about staying was washed away as he held out a bouquet of your favorite flowers. Wide doe eyes met his and suddenly all he could think about was the fact that he really, really wanted to kiss you then and there, but he would save that for later if he felt bold enough to steal a kiss or two, “they’re beautiful! What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion,” he insisted, stuffing his hands into his pocket as was customary, offering a shrug of his shoulders, “I saw them when I was walking over and I thought you’d like them.”

“I love them,” you promised, a gentle hand on his forearm as you pulled him inside, “come on. And no hands in pockets! Not around me anyways.”

“Right,” he reminded himself with a light grimace as he stepped in and closed the door before shucking off his jacket and hanging it on your coat rack. Your apartment was small, not much bigger than his, but much more homey - he always enjoyed the warmth and comfort it provided. The whole place smelled delicious, and judging from the small mountain of dishes in the sink, he could see that you had been working away for some time. An odd, warm, sensation bubbled him in stomach as he trailed after you, noting the music you had on in the background. He made a mental note to ask you about the artist later as he was still getting a grip on what was popular...Sam wouldn’t let go of that one.

“Beer?” you nodded in the direction of the fridge as he sauntered over and made quick work of grabbing two bottles out. He set one down for you before studying you intently as you stirred the pot of pasta sauce. You’d noticed that about him, he was quiet, and aloof, always analyzing everything. But you relished into it too - when silence fell over the both of you it was never awkward or uncomfortable. You turned to him, a smile on your face as you raised an eyebrow at him, “what? Is there something on my face?”

“N-no,” he answered quickly as he took a swig of what he already deemed as liquid courage, “it’s just...how did you know I was at the door?”

You snorted at his question, barely able to contain a fit of giggles as it was his turn to raise his eyebrows at you. But god, did he love hearing that laugh; even if you thought it was a silly question, it was worth it just to hear your amusement, “really? That’s what you want to know?”

“Yeah,” he grinned back at you, “out with it.”

“Well,” you clinked the neck of your bottle against his before taking a long drink, “you’re always early, never more than ten minutes, but always at least five, from our planned time. You have a particular walk, not loud but not soft...just you. I dunno, but it’s distinct. It wasn’t hard to figure out. Plus I heard you and then you didn't knock, so I had to make sure you weren’t having some sort of ...panic out there. And maybe I was just really excited to see you.”

“Excited to see me?” he was incredulous. He wasn’t sure when someone had last told him that.

“I’m always excited to see you, James,” you couldn’t stop yourself from reaching over and gently putting your hand on his cheek. And he practically keened into your touch, eyes fluttering closed at the tenderness so you openly displayed, “oh! I almost forgot, will you grab a vase for the flowers so I can get them in water?”

“Of course,” he agreed. Of course he was ready to do almost anything for you, “one more question.”

“Shoot.”

“Why don’t you call me Bucky?” he kept his gaze trained on the vase as he pulled it from the cabinet and filled it with water. For some reason he was almost nervous to hear your answer.

“You told me that only your family or friends called you Bucky,” you reminded him as he answered with a simple nod, “so I figured it was something earned, something that I should only call you if you trusted me enough to know you in such an intimate manner. I-I didn’t want to overstep your boundaries either. W-would you like it? If I called you Bucky?”

His throat felt tight and his heart constricted as he listened to your words. For once it wasn't a cloying, negative feeling but one he...enjoyed. How very odd. A silence fell over the kitchen as he arranged the flowers in their new home and you finished dinner. For the briefest second did you think you’d said something wrong, but after he set the flowers on the dining table, he turned to and nodded, a slow, sure thing, “yes. Please - call me Bucky.”

“Bucky,” you repeated softly, grinning from ear to ear to as you pulled out the loaf of bread to prep to throw into the oven to turn into garlic bread, “my Bucky.”

The singular use of the possessive might have been lost on you, but it most definitely wasn’t lost on James Buchanan Barnes. He gripped the edge of the table so tightly, he was surprised it didn’t break. Collecting himself for a moment, he came back over to you and offered to take the garlic and press to assist you in your little venture.

You were quick to playfully swat his hand away before nudging your hip with his, “I’ve got it. You go ahead and start getting plates and stuff ready.”

“Come on, I can totally help,” he insisted as you brandished the press at him, “how hard is it? You’ve done everything!”

“Nuh huh,” you insisted, “remember the first we had dinner at yours? You almost burnt the kitchen down because you didn’t pay attention. Not happening - I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”

“I-I do not suck,” his mouth ran dry as he gaped at you like a fish out of water. How easily the words had spilled from your mouth, without a second thought, without hesitation. He wondered if you’d even realized what you said, “I...umm-”

“Oh,” it was then that realization hit you and your face felt warmer than it ever had, “Bucky, I didn’t...I didn’t mean to say that...out loud. I’m sorry, please don’t...I’m sorry. I don’t want to seem too forward.”

‘Y-you love me?” a dark pink flush rose in his cheeks as you chose your next words carefully. You didn’t want to lie to him and backtrack on your declaration, but you didn’t want to drive him away either. Instead you settled on a small squeak and a slight nod, “I can’t even remember the last time someone told me that. Or the last time I felt that for someone else too. It’s been a long time.”

“Things haven’t exactly been easy or normal for you, Bucky,” you laughed lightly as he came closer and left only a minuscule amount of space between your bodies. You could practically feel the heat radiating off his body as it took every fiber of your being not to throw yourself at him then and there, “but you deserve kindness and love as much as anyone else, if not more so. You are a good man Bucky, despite what some people want to believe and despite what your mind tells you sometimes. The last few months with you have been...the most wonderful. You’ve made me so happy. I hope to be able to give you even a fraction of that in return.”

“You have made me happier than I thought I deserved to be,” he admitted as it became your turn to take a step closer. If you leaned in now, your lips would almost brush his. And god, you wanted to kiss him - until you were breathless, until it was the only thing you knew. The two of you had taken it slow, upon requests from both of you - Bucky for the obvious reasons and you after a very rough break up. It hadn’t been much more than sweet kisses and honeyed whispers, but he meant so much to you. You liked how things were progressing, but you couldn’t deny you would always take more, however much he was willing to give you, “when I first saw and met you, I thought you were a dream come true. Like you really couldn’t be real, or even like me, but here you are."

“I don’t really plan on going anywhere,” you promised, inching that much closer, your face almost touching his, “I hope you’re not either. Because I kind of...really like you.”

“M-may I kiss you?” he brought his hand to your face while his vibranium arm settled on your waist. It was an odd tango, one he was still trying to work out to see what felt right, normal. It had been a long, long, time since he’d held someone this way. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you carded a hand through his hair, playing with a particularly wild bit at the nape. You wanted nothing more than this, than him. It was such a simple act, and yet so saccharine and intimate when it was the two of you. It was an act of trust, an act of intimacy, and so much more.

“Please,” you beamed him before he closed the distance and kissed you. And this time, he really kissed you, like you were the only thing sustaining him, the only thing he wanted or needed - a fresh breath of life. Plush lips were delicate and soft again yours, but hungry and yearning as though nothing could ever be enough. When you chanced a breath of air, you nuzzled your nose against his and softly whispered his name, “Bucky.”

“I don’t know if I can say it yet,” he swallowed thickly as you knew immediately what he was indicating. You cupped his cheek before tracing over his features, “I…”

“I know,” you promised as you met his eyes. They were so soft and gentle; this was perhaps the most relaxed you’d seen him. At your words he seemed to melt into your touch as a soft sigh escaped him, “I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’m all in.”

“Me too,” he promised, “me too.”

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#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier

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peach-the-owl · 3 years

Note

Anon from before with the amnesia request. You can do the normal (retrograde) amnesia if you'd prefer doing that ^^

Since I don’t feel confident enough in myself to do your previous suggestion we'll stick with this… I regret nothing! Time for some emotional torture!

*Sigh* I can never decide if I want to just summarize these or do mini stories/story building… Oh well

Memory Lose

Child of the Nein (Mighty Nein & Child!Reader)

Retrograde amnesia: The loss of existing, previously made memories. This type of amnesia tends to affect recently formed memories first. Older memories, such as memories from childhood, are usually affected more slowly. Causes include but aren’t limited to head injuries, lack of oxygen, stress and trauma

Jester

You open your eyes, staring at the bright blue sky. Did you fall asleep? No that doesn’t sound right, where were you, what happened? You rub your head, noticing it felt extremely sore, and stretch yourself out. You’re suddenly lifted into the air and pulled into a hug by a strange blue woman, now you weren’t one to deny a hug but you were a little worried your caretaker might not like the idea.

"I’m so happy you’re okay. Don’t scare me like that." The woman says. You look at her confused and after a moment she copies your expression. "(Y/n)? What’s wrong?"

"I didn’t mean to scare you miss, but how do you know my name? Who are you?" You ask, you don’t remember meeting her yet she knew who you were, strange. She looks at you with concern and gives a nervous sounding laugh.

"Don’t be silly (y/n), you know me." You just tilt your head at her genuinely confused. The woman’s smile drops completely as she reaches forward, her hand giving off a greenish glow and placing it on your head. Instinctually you close your eyes, the magic flowing through you helping relieve the soreness in your head. "How’s that?" She asks once she’s done her spell.

"The soreness is all gone! Thank you miss…" you trail off, still unsure of her name, but something did feel more familiar about her. This poor lady in front of you looked like she was about to cry, now you felt really bad for her. "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad." You reach out for her and she responds by picking you up and holding you close to her, something about this felt really familiar and you wanted to know why. "It’s okay, mama. It’ll be okay." The words just slipped out so naturally, you didn’t even bother to argue it.

"That’s right! I am your mama. Don’t you worry, we'll fix this, I promise." She looks at you with hopeful eyes and you give her a small smile, surely there was a reason you were here, one you couldn’t remember but were willing to regain the memories of. With this lady, because she refused to tell you her name saying she wants you to remember it on your own, and her friends help you slowly start to place the missing pieces back together.

Nott

You snap your eyes open to unfamiliar terrain and immediately jump into a defensive stance. Darting your eyes this way and that, trying to figure out where you were and what was happening. A tall woman walks into the room and stares at you, was she a threat? She looked like a threat so you hiss at her, she responds with a confused look and approaches you. Panicked you pat yourself down, your hand landing on your dagger and you throw it at the woman with another loud hiss.

"Okay, okay, okay." She holds her arms up and backs out of the room, victory way yours, for now. You scurry around the room, looking for a way out or a place to hide, especially when you hear more commotion outside the doorway. You quickly duck into a corner and hide yourself from view, watching, waiting for whoever was outside to leave. Another figure enters the room, this one a lot shorter, they also had more goblin features so you hoped they weren’t as big a threat.

"(Y/n) I know you’re still in here, it’s okay to come out. We just want to know why you tried to attack Yasha." You cautiously step out of your hiding spot, looking very confused but still defensive. Who was (y/n)? Who was Yasha? Should you be concerned about this? The other goblin looks over at you about to say something but upon seeing your confusion, her smile drops and she looks at you with worry. "Are you okay?"

"Who-who are you talking about? I don’t know you." You found it strange how non-hostile this lady was, goblin or not people usually start pushing you around due to your smaller then average size, but not her, it was so strange yet somehow familiar. Her expression drops more after hearing your words and she takes a quick swig from her flask before sitting on the bed, patting the spot next to her for you. You still approach with caution, unsure if this was some sort of trap and sit down next to her.

"You do know me, I’m Nott and your name is (y/n), that’s the name I gave you anyway, we escaped together from a cruel clan of goblins." She starts, looking at you. You tilt your head at her, it sounded vaguely familiar to you so you nod and let her continue. "We’ve been traveling together for quite a while and made more friends then we could’ve imagined…" She continues on like this for a while, recalling different moments you’ve experienced together. The more you ran these moments in your head the more you were able to remember on your own. Not all the pieces came back right away but it was enough for you to trust her and meet with the rest of the group to help continue recovering the rest of your missing memories.

Caleb

You stretch and yawn, feeling sore in the head but maybe you just bumped it on the table again. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes you look around and realize your not in your house, that’s odd you don’t remember leaving for a trip anywhere. There’s a purr coming from beside you making you look over at the pretty kitty staring at you, they looked familiar but you don’t remember meeting a cat like him before, but who were you to refuse cuddling a cute kitty. After a moment the cat wiggles out of your grip and walks across the room pausing at the door and looking at you as if waiting for you to follow. Curious as ever you decide to follow them, there was just something about this cat that you trusted, letting it lead you around until they stop in front of a man who was deeply invested in a book. You pick up the cat and tug the mans coat, when he doesn’t budge you tug a little harder.

"Excuse me mister, is this your kitty?" You ask, giving the cat gentle pats on the head. He looks up from his book and over at you, first he looks confused then it turns to relief before shifting into concern. You tilt your head slightly at this. "Is something wrong mister?"

"Do you not recognize me?" He’s voice was quiet and full of worry. You shake your head and place the cat on the ground who walks up to the man and begins to purr and rub against him. He picks up the cat and looks deep in thought for a moment. "What is the last thing you remember?"

"Oh! Ummm, my mama and papa were getting ready to meet a guest for the night and they told me to go play in my room so I wouldn’t break something by accident. But now I’m here." You explain, then a thought comes to mind. "Wait, are you the person my mama and papa are supposed to meet?" He stares at you a moment before going deep into thought again.

"(Y/n), that memory of yours was over 5 years ago," he starts, sounding as calm as possible. You look at him confused, how could that have been so long ago when it only felt like it happened yesterday. "You’ve been traveling with me ever since then. Not long ago we were ambushed, you’d gotten yourself injured as a result, I see now there was more damage to you then what we first thought. I didn't… I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you." He continues, kneeling down and placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, a look of guilt and shame on his face by the end. You didn’t want it to be true but there was something you couldn’t quite shake, that deep down you knew he was telling you the truth. You reach forward and try to comfort him by wrapping your arms around him in a hug, it seems to help a little as he returns the gesture.

"Maybe I don’t remember what you’re talking about, but I trust you." He brightens up a little more at your words. "So what happens now?" You question.

"Now," he stands up and offers you his hand. "We can work together to bring your memories back, if you’d like. Be aware it will take some time." It was more of an offer then anything but you give him another smile and a nod as you place your hand in his. It took some time a patience, but you manage to regain your memories back, even a few you had well forgotten about long ago.

Caduceus

Your head was pounding even before you opened your eyes, have a look around you knew you weren’t in your room or at home for that matter. Slowly you get up and have a better look around, trying to orientate where you were and what was happening. Soon enough you hear a door opening and look over at the firbolg that entered the room, he didn’t look like anyone from your family and yet he reminded you of your father, strange.

"I’m so glad to you’re awake. You really had me worried." He pauses a second and takes a good look at you, his relief turning to worry. "Are you okay? You don’t… you look like you don’t know who I am."

"Well, umm, you do have something familiar about you, I just don’t know what it is right now. I’m sorry." You lower your head sadly. Why was he so familiar? Did something happen and you'd forgotten about it?

"There’s no need to be sorry." He shushes you calmly, kneeling down and placing a hand on your head, you wince a little from the pain but it quickly disappears thanks to his healing magic, slowly you look up at him again. "What happened to cause your memory lose isn’t your fault, none of use could’ve known this would be the outcome." So it was memory loss. It was a bit difficult to wrap your head around but your mother always told you to trust in your instincts and let nature guide the way and you certainly felt a strong sense of trust from him.

"Can, umm… is there a way to fix it?" You give him a curious look. He smiles at you kindly, giving a gentle pat on your arm.

"I don't have means to give your memories back right away, but if your willing to give it time and patience they should be able to return on their own." He explains to you.

"What if I don’t like it? What I remember I mean." You ask, quickly adding the last part so it’d, hopefully make more sense.

"I couldn’t say for sure. I don’t know everything you’ve seen before we met, but I do know we share a lot of good memories together." You could tell he was being genuine with you but not saying everything, maybe as a way to encourage you to regain the missing memories, who knew. You think it over a bit before finally agreeing, there was a reason you were here instead of home with your family, a reason you might not like but learning the truth would be better then living in the unknown, and no matter how painful it might be you had someone to help you through it.

Fjord

The first thing you notice when you gain consciousness is the splitting pain in your head, you could smell the blood and place a hand over the wound wincing. The second thing you notice is the lack of sound, no waves crashing or ship bells tolling to set sail. Finally when you open your eyes you find yourself laying on your side in some grass, you try to survey your surroundings but the pain was preventing you from thinking clearly so you instead roll on your back with a groan.

"(Y/n)!" You vaguely recognize the voice calling you but can’t pinpoint it, soon a half-orc comes into view. "You’re bleeding, here let’s take care of that wound." He lifts you up into his arms without another word and carries you over to two other strangers who help patch up the wound on your head. Something wasn’t adding up to you how did these people know who you were if you didn’t know them? It was strange yet you also felt like you knew them. Maybe that wound had something to do with this? You just weren’t sure, but you didn’t want to cause any concern with these people so you figured you’ll try to solve this mystery on your own. While you were able to start putting a few of the missing pieces together, your charade didn’t last long, as much as you played off everything as normal, after a day everyone was catching on that something wasn’t quite right.

"You sure you’re feeling well (y/n)? You don’t seem quite like yourself." You look over at the half-orc as he approaches you, you hadn’t quite gotten everyone’s names yet.

"I'm uhhh, yeah. I'm fine, F-Fjord?" You we’re trying so hard to sound confident but you slipped and it came out more as a question. No surprise he picks up on this and gives you an odd look before he lets out a sigh and kneels down to match your height.

"I thought we worked on this stubbornness of yours and you’d be more honest with me about your problems." He says matter-of-factly, you slightly turn away from him with a nervous scratch at your arm.

"I… I don't know what your talking about." He gives you another look like he didn’t believe you. "No, I mean it, I really don’t know what you’re talking about. I can’t remember much of anything. I didn’t want to bother anyone so I’ve been trying to figure things out by myself but it hasn’t done a lot." You admit sheepishly, feeling guilty now for not saying something earlier.

"You don’t remember…" He trails off, taking in a breath. "Well, you’ve been very brave to go so far on your own, but you’re not alone anymore. I’m here to help you, and I want to help you so don’t think I’ll take no for an answer." He puts on a confident face for you and as embarrassed as you were about hiding it before you can’t help but give him a smile and nod.

Beau

There was a ringing in your ears like voices in your head as you take in a few deep breaths to calm yourself. Where were you, and why were you wearing such a odd outfit, surely your parents didn’t approve of this, although try as you might you never could impress them. You shake your head, that was right they sent you away because they wanted to "help" your behaviour, but you don’t remember changing or being out in the middle of nowhere.

"Hey, you doing alright? You were hit pretty hard." The ringing stops as you turn to see a woman standing over you, her expression looking disinterested but her eyes held worry. Getting a good look at her you could see she was wearing an outfit similar to yours, making you realize that you were in fact sporting attire from the Cobalt Soul. This just gave you more questions then answers.

"I feel fine, mostly, but… you said I got hit?" This was awful, you hated being left clueless and if your sudden theory was correct you were missing more to this picture then you’d like.

"Yeah… do you not remember that?" She stared at you with growing concern. You rub your head with a groan, guess that answers that question.

"No, I don’t, and there’s probably a bunch of other things I can’t recall." You say more annoyed then anything. The woman raises an eyebrow at you but says nothing, waiting for you to explain. "You talk like we know each other but I can't remember who you are. I should be panicking over talking to a stranger, but at the same time I feel like I should know you and it’s bothering me." You explain as best you can. She stares blankly at you for a moment, letting your words sink in.

"You do always hate being left in the dark." She mutters more to herself. "Alright, well…" she trails off a bit and lets out a sigh. "I don’t really know what to say or do about this, the best I can suggest is getting Jester or Caduceus to look at you and see if they can fix it. If not then I guess all we can do is hope your memories come back on their own." For as calm as she sounded you could see genuine worry and even a bit of fear in her eyes.

"Hope?" You cross your arms and give her a determined look. "You say that as if there’s a chance I’m not going to remember, and if you really know me you should know I don’t give up until I find my answers." The comers of her mouth slowly curve into a smile at this and she lets out a soft chuckle, walking up to you and giving you a pat on the back. The two of you proceed to strut your way over to the others to fill them in on your situation and get started on brining your memories back.

Yasha

You open your eyes and instantly something feels off, you can’t quite place what it is but it just feels off. You stretch and yawn while trying to figure out what felt so off. Lets see the last thing you can remember was practice for… that’s it! Wasn’t your trial today? You get up quickly, this ritual was too important to the tribe to be late. You hurry down some stairs, thinking little of your different surroundings and step outside, taking in the fresh open air. No one else from the tribe was around, maybe you woke up earlier then you thought, you survey your surroundings just to be sure you weren’t missing anything when a someone approaches you. The woman in question didn’t look to be from your tribe but there was something very familiar about her you couldn’t quite place. Before you can say anything the woman wraps her arms around you and pulls you into an embrace.

"I was so worried, they attacked from nowhere… there was so much blood… I-I-I'm just happy you’re alright." Her voice quivered a little, you couldn’t make sense of what she was saying. An attack? You don’t remember the tribe being attacked. But she sounded to genuine it was hard not to believe her, like there was a fuzzy memory in the back of your mind to confirm it.

"Umm, thank you for the concern but…" You trail off a little, she pulls away and looks at you confused and worried, you felt bad but you had to ask. "I uhhh, I don’t mean to be rude miss, but can you tell me where I am and who you are?" Her expression drops more and she looks away slightly, you can see the tears running down her face as she takes several deep breaths.

"It’s me, Yasha. I-I’ve been taking care of you for… well for a long time now. Don’t you remember me?" She sounded so heartbroken, you can’t help but give her another hug which she returns.

"I’m really sorry, but I don’t remember." You say quietly, her grip tightens a little and you swear you can hear soft sobs coming from her. "Maybe… maybe that's why things don’t feel right�� but you are familiar. I can’t really say why but I feel like I know you." You continue. She pulls away enough to look you in the eyes, a glimmer of hope sparkling in them.

"I could help you get them back. We have some friends that are really good at this kind of thing. They can help." She suggests, gently placing a hand on you cheek, you lean into her touch and give a small nod. It was clear now that things weren’t quite as you originally thought but you were willing regain everything you’d lost and move forward to a new future, your new destiny.

Molly

Everything hurt and you sigh, had you done something to anger Ms. Wolona again? You really hoped not. Sitting up you’re in for a shock when you don’t recognize anything around you. A lavender tiefling walks into the room, and there’s this feeling of familiarity about him you can’t quite place, you don’t remember meeting him, yet you couldn’t shake the thought that you knew him somehow. He looks relived to see you but his expression drops slightly at your confusion.

"You look surprised to see me, I know I’m always quite the looker but you know me." He says nonchalantly, you caught a slight hint of concern in his voice. You weren’t sure what to say or do, you’ve been told countless times not to talk to strangers otherwise punishment wouldn’t be far. Apparently your silence doesn’t sit well with the tiefling, his brows furrowing at you. "Come now (y/n), this isn’t the time for games." His tone was lower and more serious now, and he slow reaches a hand out towards you. You start to panic, knowing whenever you upset someone Ms. Wolona would have to punish you for bad behaviour.

"Imsorryimsorryimsorry! Please don’t hurt me, I promise I’ll be good." You sputter out, throwing your arms over your head and cowering. It gets deafeningly quiet for a moment as you wait for something to happen. The only sound in the room being your beep breathes, wait… no those weren’t your breaths you were hearing. Slowly, cautiously you lift your head slightly and see the staring wide eyed at you, looking just as, if not more so panicked they you.

"No nonononon, not you, not you." You hear him faintly mutter. Before you can wonder what he was talking about he’s out of the room, shouting something down the hall. Now you were really confused but also filled with fear, was he getting Ms. Wolona? After what feels like forever you get an unexpected answer when a different tiefling enters the room, she offers a friendly smile.

"Hi, do you remember me?" She asks. You just shake your head, she lets out a saddened sigh. "Well, would you like to?" Magic sparks to life in her hands and you flinch away. "I’m not going to hurt you, I promise. I want to help you." You stare at her for a moment before you give a slow nod. One part of you was telling you that doing this would get you in a lot of trouble, but another part of you felt like you could trust this, thinking about it after all that first tiefling you met looked so familiar and before he’d run out you could see the pain and fear in his eyes for you. As scared as you felt, you wanted to make it better, so with a deep breath you hesitantly reach forward…

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icecreamsundayonajulyafternoon · 3 years

Text

A/N: this is also on my ao3: homoeroticmicrowave as a part of my resident evil oneshots (I take requests) For context the reader is a part of Chris’s team and Jill is also there for the mission. Jill and the reader and Chris and the reader are platonic but you can interpret their relationships however you wish. As for the plot of this to sum it up Donna and you basically decided you loved each other and went through a whole little mission that I couldn’t be bothered to write in order to try to escape from everything that wanted to harm you both only to end up dying. I swear I’ll write happier things that aren’t angsty soon.

You lay there with Donna, shot in the snow blood easing the cold that had been so bitter to you. Donna gasped through breathless chuckles as she held your hand. Red bubbles around your teeth as you grinned shamelessly. You have her hand a little squeeze letting her know you were doing this together.

You got out. Maybe you didn’t make it far but you still got to see what it was like there together. You didn’t exchange any magnificent words worth writing in history books nor did you accomplish anything noble and noteworthy but you carved your admittedly short life together in a place that demanded you die in anger and fear without a trace of love.

You had felt remorse for all of the years you could have spent together but it wasn’t worth thinking of when you were so short on time. You would both smile as you went for you were finally together and that in itself was an accomplishment you could be proud of.

Your team surely cursed you for leaving them for a woman who you were supposed to despise and take down. But you did your job didn’t you really, she was down and so were you and while you wished that this segment of the mission had been a failure you didn’t want to soil the moment where you got to hold your hand and watch a sky that finally seemed peaceful.

You felt comfort in knowing your lover was with you as you went.

Your head turned towards her.

You should be scared.

Your visions fading.

You smiled.

‘Beautiful.’

Jill found your body and she screamed in pure rage. She was so hopelessly furious. She was angry at you for being so careless and stupid as to betray people you had known and cared for all for some woman who ultimately got you killed. Angry at the woman who you had chosen over everything and everyone else. Angry at the woman who you had abandoned the world for because she had let you. Angry because she hadn’t been able to save you. Angry at the world around her for allowing this to happen. Angry because she had left you alone in the mission and now she had lost you forever. Angry as you had left her to live.

When Chris made it back without Ethan he felt so rough as he had to tell Mia that her husband wasn’t coming back. All he wanted to do was kick off his shoes and clothes and flop onto his bed. He took a seat next to Jill who’s face held a certain melancholia that he thought his own might reflect. He asked her if she was okay but she didn’t utter a word in response. His eyes wondered round his squad but he couldn’t find your face.

Chris looked at Jill in confusion as he asked where you up were. Jill couldn’t answer him. She couldn’t handle answering him. She hadn’t even processed yet alone accepted what had happened. She didn’t want to give him an answer. She didn’t want to accept that it was true. ”Jill, where are they” a cruel thought that she must have just not heard him teased his mind.

Jill grit her teeth and tried to focus on anything but Chris. Tried to block him out of her vision. Tried to tune his voice out with aimless thoughts. But he was still there and he wasn’t going away. She had to respond. She didn’t have a choice. “They’re not coming” her words seemed vague in the part of Chris’s mind that feigned a lack of recognition as to what her words meant. He denied the obvious meaning that flared and burned his buried happiness that he had managed to scavenge despite so many tragedies until it was charred.

Jill’s eyes were wide with an intensity she hadn’t shown in so long as words that didn’t fit her spilled from her mouth “They’re dead Chris I found their body they’re dead it’s in a bag over there if you really want to see it so badly”

Chris stared blankly at Jill an immediate drop in his facial expression as he turned his head away from her. He didn’t want to listen to her. He wanted to get mad. He wanted to argue. But he was tired. He was so, so tired and he didn’t want to be tired anymore.

When given opportunity to he doused himself in alcohol, smearing it all through his liver until he was sure he would pass out or die. He wouldn’t die though. He never did.

He never visited your grave. Never payed any real respects to you. Never brought any flowers or conversed with any of his fellow grieving. Never spoke of you to anyone. He simply went on as if you had never existed. You haunted him nonetheless. When he was so close to sleep but not quite there his thoughts twisted and bent so that you could reach them. Your face convulsing into a sick scream as he preached his sorrow and repented for how he hadn’t been able to get to you. You danced with all of his other ghosts that paraded in his misfortune and woes. Your face now a picture of horror to him. Your very name brought an unspeakable agony.

He was never a crier and he didn’t cry for your death and he went on for a week without a single tear and he had no intention of spilling any.

And then his fucking pen ran out.

He had been writing out paperwork by hand because the internet crashed and he couldn’t wait for it to be fixed as he needed to get through it all quickly with an efficiency that he had been expected to achieve. But then his pen ran out midway through writing it and he should have just got up and grabbed a new one but he didn’t think and he started pressing harder and scribbling but no ink came out it just left indents in the paper and in a moment of unfiltered frustration he slashed his paper with the pen and then the fucking ink came out and now his work was ruined because he was an idiot and why did he even do that.

Then he was crying. He was curled up like a toddler on the floor crying over a fucking pen in a red, burning frustration and misery. Then did he really start mourning you. Your name now blasting across his mind as he thought of what your corpse must have looked like. How your pretty face must be ruined with rot. How he hadn’t even thought of you during the mission and had just assumed you were okay. How he had been so cold as to not even turn up to your grave at any point besides the funeral that work had required him to go to. It was always about work with him. Did he even have a personality outside of that? Was he even a person outside of that? All he was was his work and he couldn’t even do that right. He couldn’t even keep his squad alive. He truly was a waste of a person. He couldn’t keep anyone alive but himself and he wasn’t sure he wanted to even do that.

He slammed his hand down on his tiled floor and he screamed a momentous scream. He hated himself so much. He hated being alive so much. He hated everyone dying on him so much. He cradled himself as the tears just kept coming and coming and if anyone saw him like this they’d think he was a complete pussy and if not it would only be because they’d be mesmerised by the fact that he was actually capable of experiencing emotion.

He was so overcome by his deep and endless grief that he fell asleep right there on his cold floor. Nobody was left to love him. Nobody was left but him.

He dreamed of happier times with happier people and a happier him. He wanted to stay in that fantasy forever even if it was all make believe and childish. He wanted to be childish for once. Hell he wanted to be a child again. He wanted to be able to be vulnerable again and feel unconditionally loved again. He wanted to be able to take that love for granted. He wanted to be able to be young again and do stupid things that kids do. He wanted to wake up and start over with no memories of the future and brush his reality off as a silly little nightmare that could be kissed away.

He didn’t want to be hurt anymore.

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dreamingabouttaron · 4 years

Text

The Assistant Part 29

You looked down at the small shiny blue and white invitation that sat neatly in your hands. As you slowly traced your fingers over the bumpy white letters, you held tightly onto your breath. Your mind was racing. You had arrived at United Agents that morning to find a letter addressed to you sitting neatly on your desk. You had eagerly opening it to find an invitation to the Cannes premiere of Rocketman inside alongside a handwritten letter from Taron personally asking you to come along. It felt like time had stopped. You didn’t know what to do. You hadn’t seen or spoken to Taron in months. Would it even be a good idea to go?

James looked over at you from his desk, he noticed the frozen state that you were in. “Is that your invitation?” He asked quietly, clearly knowing what you were looking at. You looked up at him slowly, still holding tightly on to the piece of card. “Are you going to go?”

You released a breath that you didn’t realise you had been holding. “I… I don’t know.”

James got up from his desk and dragged his chair over to yours. “I’m going to be honest with you and I’m saying this because I love and care about you. I think you should go. I think it would be good for you to see him. If worse comes to the worst Lindy and I are going to be there with Taron doing press so I can keep an eye on things.”

You gently placed the piece of card onto the desk and looked back over the letter Taron had written for you. You ran your fingers over his hand writing. You pictured him sat there writing it out over and over. You thought back to the voicemail he had left you a few weeks ago. You felt guilty for not responding but you didn’t know what to say. You still had feelings for him. You still craved him. But you knew you could be toxic together. Would it really be a good idea to drag the past back up again?

“Megs..” James placed his warm hand on yours. “Be real with me for a moment. Do you still have feelings for him?” You looked into his eyes and he didn’t need a vocal answer. The answer was written all over your face. “and I think we have our answer.” James climbed up from his chair and dragged it back over to his desk. “I’m taking you shopping this weekend. We’re going to find you the most perfect dress.”

That weekend you met James in Central London; you trailed around a number of different boutique shops until you finally found the ‘most perfect dress’ for the premiere. The days flew by and before you knew it, you were getting ready in your hotel room in Cannes. You had been arguing with yourself for days, was this really the right thing to do? You didn’t know what had come over you. You felt so stupid. What if he was with someone else? What if he was only inviting you because you worked for him? If you saw him, what would you even say to him? A million questions ran through your head, they had kept you up at night making the room spin.

You took one last glance at yourself in the mirror before you left your room. You were dressed in a floor length light blue chiffon dress. You had accessorised with a silver bag and silver heels. The blue in your dress made the blue in your eyes stand out. You had to admit, you looked good. You left your room and climbed into the back of a waiting car. You had been in constant contact with James, he was giving you little updates and kept checking in with how you were doing. You were so thankful for his support.

When you arrived at the premiere, you were blown away with the scale of it. You hadn’t experienced anything like this. You felt like a fish out of water. It was incredibly overwhelming. You made your way straight up the red carpet and straight into the building, ignoring the craziness of the red carpet. You quickly took your place in the cinema and waited for everyone else to arrive. As the room started to fill up, your eye got caught when you noticed Tina and Guy walking in to find their seats. As they scanned the rows for their places, Tina noticed you. You felt your breath hitch. You smiled gently towards her and she waved warmly back. You wanted to run over and hug her. You wanted her comforting ways. You wanted her to tell you everything was going to be okay. You were starting to feel a little silly when you felt your phone vibrate in your lap. You looked down to see a text from Tina. I’m so happy to see you. I’ll find you and give you a hug after the film. Tina x

You felt a wave of relief wash over your body. Something so simple made everything feel better. You quickly typed a reply as the rest of the room filled up. You watched as the rest of the cast and crew found their seats. You felt more and more anxious as you waited for Taron to enter the room. You weren’t sitting anywhere near the front of the screen but just being in the same room as him filled you with a cocktail of emotions. And that’s when you noticed him. You clocked James and Lindy following closely behind a rather sharp looking Taron. He looked incredible. You felt your heart beating as everyone in the room clapped and cheered as the last of the cast and crew took their seats.

The film itself was a masterpiece. You couldn’t have been any prouder of Taron. You could finally see why he was so busy and so stressed when you were together. As you watched the scenes play out, you thought back to the filming process and the stress and arguments it caused. It brought back so many memories of Taron singing the songs on repeats for months and months. You felt overwhelmed with emotion just thinking about it, it brought tears to your eyes. When the film finished, you made a beeline back to the hotel where you were going to meet James before you made your way to the after party. You wanted to compose yourself in case you saw Taron.

A few hours and drinks later, you were standing with James at the bar. You were so relieved that he was there with you. You couldn’t have done this on your own. The party was in full swing, the drinks were flowing, the dance floor was packed and the music was incredibly loud. Everyone was having a wonderful time. You were in the middle of a conversation with James when you followed his eye line to a group of men all laughing and shouting. The group parted and that’s when you saw him. Taron.

A rush of emotions hit you, it was like you couldn’t breathe. Could this really be happening. Were you really here? You knew you were standing, but you couldn’t feel anything. You couldn’t feel your hands, legs or anything for that matter. All you could feel was your heart. It was beating, so fast you thought the whole world could hear it. Everything was so bright. Memories came flashing back. You pictured the first time you met him. You walked into United Agents and there he was. The way he looked at you and smiled. They say in the few seconds you can see a persons true feeling towards you. That’s where it all began. A friendship and love. A love that you had never felt before. You tried to calm yourself down, slowly, taking deep breaths until your breathing was back to normal and the room was no longer spinning.

The room seemed to go silent. Time seemed to stand still. There he was. Not quite right in front of you, but the other side of the room. Which quickly felt a lot smaller than it actually was. Everything was happening in slow motion. Yes, it was highly cliché; but the moment you laid eyes on him you felt something inside you shift. There was something about Taron that just...shook you. He just stood there, laughing and joking with his friends holding a beer, typical, but god did he look good in that grey velvet suit jacket.

You felt like you were staring at him for an awfully long time but you didn’t care. That’s when he noticed you, but you still couldn’t look away. His whole face softened when he saw you. Now you were just two people in a crowded room staring at each other. From an outsider’s perspective it probably looked a little weird. Then he did something, something you thought if you saw in person again it would break you. He smiled at you. A wonderful, bright smile.

Do something, you kept repeating in your head over and over again. Move. Smile. Look away. Anything, just stop staring.

You managed a little wave of your hand causing his smile to grow even more. He got pulled back into his conversation with his friends. That’s when everything came rushing back into focus. The room you were in, the people, the flashing lights, the thumping music. You could hear James calling your name beside you, but you couldn’t open your mouth to respond. You wanted to leave, you needed to get out but you couldn’t move.

You watched as Taron excused himself from his group and slowly made his way through the crowd over to you. James reached out for your hand and gave it a little squeeze before he melted into the crowd giving you time alone.

Taron stopped in front of you. You both stood staring at each other for a moment. You felt the whole atmosphere shift. There he was. You took in his features. Still exactly the same. Still the man you fell in love with.

“Hey.” He finally managed to say.

“Hey. You smiled back.

“Wow look at you. You look like a star. You’re a vision in blue.” Taron said as his eyes scanned you and your body.

“Oh, I do?” You gulped and ran your hands nervously over your frame. You felt your cheeks growing red hot.

“Hey, you came!” He said with a slight frown on his forehead. It was as if he suddenly realised you were actually stood there in front of him.

“I wasn’t sure if I should come…” You whispered in response.

‘I’m very glad you decided to come.” He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. You both just stood there examining each other. You just wanted to reach out and touch him. You wanted to make sure this wasn’t a dream.

“Megan..I.. um.. I would really like to talk to you. Alone.” He said as he leant down and spoke quietly into your ear. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but would you come up to my room with me? I think it’s the only place we’ll get some privacy.”

You hesitate before nodding and following him through the crowds. The music getting quieter and quieter as you walk away. You were glad, it allowed your thoughts to form. You wanted to be as switched on as you could for this conversation. You wanted to be open and honest, you didn’t want to hold anything back.

When you arrived at Taron’s room he shut the door behind you, leaving you both completely alone for the first time in months. Now stand in front of Taron, neither of you saying a word. Both of you building up the courage. Minutes seemed to pass, still, no one said a word.

“H-how have you been since…” Taron finally broke the silence but trailed off not knowing how to finish his sentence.

“Since that night?” You snapped. “Oh, I’ve been great. You know, it's not like I’ve spent every day for the last four months wondering what the hell happened. Wondering what I did wrong. Wondering what I could have done to have saved us.” You didn’t mean to be sarcastic and petty but yet you couldn't help it, it just came out that way.

“I’m sorry.” He bowed his head in defeat looking down at his feet.

Silence once again fell between the two of you. Moving away from Taron, you walk towards the sofa and sat down.

“Megan, I know me saying ‘I’m sorry’ didn't mean anything to you then and probably means even less now, but I really am sorry. For everything. Hurting you was something I never wanted to do.” A rush of emotions ran through you, your anger was gone. Despite everything that had happened you didn’t hate Taron, you didn’t really know how to hate him. “But, why?” He asked, his voice was barely a whisper.

“Why what?” You questioned.

“Why did you end things. D-did I do something wrong? Was there someone else…”

“No! God no, to both.” You replied quickly.

“Then why?”

“I-I” You didn’t know what to say. “I felt like we were spending more time apart than together and when we were together it was as if we were on two separate planets. We weren’t connecting at all. All we did was argue and kiss and make up. Our work schedules were just crazy and that just torn us apart even more. I thought it would be best to give you the chance to find someone who would be home when you would be. You deserve someone who you can have spontaneous dates with, someone who you could fall asleep next to every night, not every couple of months. So I decided to let you go.”

“You really are stupid you know that.” He said raising an eyebrow and laughing at your comment. “Was there any particular reason you thought I was unhappy?”

You thought for a moment before replying. “Not exactly.” You shook your head.

“Did I ever actually say that you being away with work so much was ever an issue for me?”

Once again you paused and thought about what he asked. You both knew the answers. “No.”

“But regardless, you took it upon yourself to decide what I wanted from a relationship.”

“I told you, you deserved better than what I was able to give you at the time.”

The energy in the room seemed to shift. You watched as he took a moment to take in your words. “Did you know that I wrote down all of the things you ever said that touched my heart, and when I recently read them back after all this time they still touch my heart” Taron said as he sat down on the bed keeping his distance from you. The distance between you was charged with energy. You watched as he took his phone out of his pocket to find what he was looking for. You watched his finger scroll as he read what was on his phone. He then suddenly stopped and looked at you with his wonderful wide eyes.

“Megan. You’re on my mind, constantly” he shot at you. You furrowed your brows and frowned, not knowing what to reply. “If I’m happy it’s because of you, if I’m mad it’s because of you, everything I feel is because of you. But lately I’ve been more... sad? mad? I don’t know, but I know it makes me feel twisted inside.” You watched as tears started to fall from Taron’s eyes. You could see him struggling to identify the emotions he had been bottling up within himself. It pained you to see him like this. The sight brought tears to your eyes too.

“Do you remember our first ‘date’, you took me to that restaurant that had just opened around the corner from where I used to live…” You allowed the words to fall out of your mouth as you wiped your tears away.

“Yeah,” he paused, his face changed suddenly, a huge smile growing across his face as he remembered, “You wore that pink dress, you looked absolutely beautiful. That night I just knew you were the one.”

You felt your cheeks flush with heat, you loved that he still remembers so much about it even after all this time. You placed your head in your hands as you felt the emotions of the day catching up with you. Without any words Taron simply stood up and went over to where you were sitting. He kneeled in front of the sofa and leaned forward to hug your waist. You were both practically a sniffling and snotty mess. You held each other tightly. Touching for the first time in months. Holding each other. Comforting each other. Allowing yourselves to be there for the other person.

After some time when you both finally felt like there were no more tears left in your bodies, Taron came up from where he was almost cradling you. He cracked a reassuring smile and wiped your tear-filled face with his sleeve. He kept his eyes on you. He drew circles on your knee with his delicate hands. The movements felt soothing.

“Sorry. Everything just sort of hit me. You and me, us. Everything leading up to the break up. I just don’t want you to feel like I’m holding you back or anything. I get that you would want to move on at some point. That you have to move on.” Your voice still sounded a bit shaky and not as convincing as you’d hope for.

“You think this is what I truly want? Don’t you know me at all?” Taron looked hurt while saying this. You just shrugged while not knowing what to say. But then again here he was looking at you with those beautiful deep eyes. The same eyes you’d fallen in love with.

“I never wanted this Megan. Never. I just went along with this because that’s what I thought you wanted. You seemed so determined about it. I thought you were tired of me. I thought maybe you didn’t love me anymore.”

You were almost crying again while vigorously shaking your head at his words. You had let him believe that you didn’t love him. You moved out of the chair and slid onto his lap to wrap your arms around him in a bone crushing hug. His warmth engulfed you. In your mind you tried to hug away the last couple of months. If only it was that easy.

“I left because I love you too much Taron. I had to. The way you made me feel scared me so much. I was scared so many times that you would leave me for someone else. Someone better. I felt like I didn’t deserve you or your love. Like I wasn’t worthy of it.”

“Oh God Megan! No! I’m so sorry! I know I fucked this up from the very the beginning. I sure managed to royally screw us over didn't I?” He shakes his head.

“Hey, no ones perfect, even you.” You joke, even throwing him a wink teasing him and he laughs. You are so surprised at how all of a sudden you are so comfortable with him.

Taron cautiously reaches out and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, then gently caressing your cheek. It's like muscle memory kicks in and you automatically lean into his hand, closing your eyes enjoying his touch.

“I miss you, so much.” Your eyes dart open looking directly into his, god how you missed his eyes. You could hear the hurt and emotion in his voice. Feeling his body heat radiating off of him, you notice how close you had become with your bodies practically pressed against each other.

“I miss you too.” Responding with just as much emotion. As soon as the word left your mouth, Taron reached his other hand around your waist pulling you closer. Taron looked at you and you felt the world still around the two of you. His hands now came up and rested on each side of your face. His hands caressing your face, you leaned into the touch. He looked as if searching for something. Ever so slowly he leaned forward. You could feel his breath as he came closer. Your lips collided. His soft lips on yours. Your body knew exactly how to respond having a mind of its own. You reach your arms up around his neck, your fingers glide through the short hairs on the back of his head. It was like no time had passed. You fit perfectly together. You had to pull away to catch your breath. You couldn’t help yourself from smiling at Taron who looked just as flustered as you. He let out a breathy chuckle still holding you close to him as if you could disappear at any time.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” You don't reply with words, you just pull his lips back down to yours. Both of his hands, now around your waist, they grip you harder. Like he never wants to let you got. You secretly hope he wouldn’t.

Reluctantly you did let go. Words got caught in your throat, you had so much you wanted to say so much you wanted to ask. Almost like he could read your mind, Taron brushed the tip of his nose against your placing one quick kiss on your lips.

“Well that was something.” He whispered.

You agreed with him with a wide smile on your face. Both out of breath. The two of you couldn’t hold back a small laugh. You leaned forward and rested your forehead on his. Your hands wandered to his back and neck drawing all kinds of shapes.

“Seems like we just wasted several months of our lives.” You hummed silently feeling content.

“I think we did!” You could feel Taron’s chest vibrate from a laugh. You leaned into him wanting to be closer if that was humanly possible. This feeling right here was everything. “I love you” He whispered.

You let out a deep sigh and leaned into kiss him once more. You weren’t planning on stoping anytime soon, not that he would let you. You weren’t going anywhere. You belonged right here with him. You knew it was still incredibly early but you knew things were on the way up. You could feel it. The spark was back in your eyes and you couldn’t wait to see what was going to happen next.

Tag List -

@primaba11erina @hitmeonmytspot @fuseburner @autumnslovex @tiffleen @y0ungandfuckingdumb @huathmoon94

A/N -

Thank you everyone for your love and support. I am very saddened to say that I have one more part left of this wonderful journey. I can not thank you all enough for all the kind words I have received. I will be opening up a request box soon, so if anyone has any requests or one shots they would like written I’m all ears! I hope you have a wonderful week x

#taron egerton #taron egerton fanfic #taron x reader #taron fanfiction #taron egerton imagine #taron egerton fanfiction #taron egerton drabble #Taron X You #Fanfiction #TheAssistant

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fluffy-lee · 4 years

Text

Not Alone in London

Tom Holland x reader

PLATONIC

Warnings: mentions of anxiety and swearing.

Y/a = your age

Summary: Y/n is an actress, best known for Marvel/ Avengers movies. While on press tour for the latest movie, she finds herself alone in London, much to her dismay. Enter Tom Holland.

You had arrived in London two days ago, doing press for Marvel. Your jet lag had begun to wear off and you were finished with your interviews for the day. This trip in particular was different. You were alone. Of course, you had your team with you, and you loved them, but it wasn’t the same as having your mom or someone else with you. Being in another county, as much as you loved it, was still pretty intense, no matter how many times you’ve done it.

You were walking down the hall on your way to grab a tea when you saw Harry Holland walk out in front of you.

“Oh, excuse me. Y/n! Hi! ...Are you alright?” Harry asked. He had a concerned expression on his face.

“Oh it’s okay, and I’m okay. Thank you, Harry. It’s so nice to see you!” You said giving him a hug.

It felt so nice to be with someone familiar and you knew what it meant for him to be here. Tom was here as well. You felt excitement bubble up in your chest. You loved Tom and had grown very close to him from Marvel and press tours. You had been told that you were getting the last of the interviews of the tour and everyone else had gone home. This was your last stop before you too could go home. It had been nearly a week since you had seen Sebastian, Evans, Downey, Scarlet, or anyone from the cast. You barely got to say goodbye due to the hectic schedules and it was hard on you to be ripped away from your family so suddenly. You had been experiencing so much anxiety. You thought you had it under control, but it returned toward the end of this tour.

“Tom’s in there. He should be wrapping in a bit, if you’d like to wait for him. I have to leave now, but I hope to see you again while you’re in town.” Harry said with a smile.

You gave him a hug and he hurried off. You awkwardly stood in the hallway waiting for Tom. His interview took longer than you expected, so you slid down the wall and sat on the floor.

A bunch of people started to leave the room carrying equipment and stuff. You could hear Tom’s voice, chatting away. You couldn’t hear exactly what he was saying, but you could still tell he was being so polite and funny, like always. Tom finally walked out of the room and gasped when he saw you and you quickly stood up and launched in his arms. He picked you up and hugged you tightly.

“Aww, sweet girl! What are you doing here?” Tom asked, still holding you.

You felt as if you were going to cry right then and there. Your anxiety had been through the roof and you couldn’t stand it much longer. Tom felt you shudder and set you down, observing your teary eyes.

“I think you and I should go get some water or something.” He said, pulling you into the catering room and shutting the door.

He poured you a glass of water and handed it to you, before pouring one for himself. Tom had seemed to go into a protective mode you hadn’t really seen him in before. He hadn’t had to. Now, he had concern in his eyes, but also determination.

“Y/n, do you mind telling me what’s wrong?” He asked, placing a hand on your shoulder.

You proceeded to pour your heart out to him about all that had been going on. You didn’t mean to dump all of your emotions on him, but you just had to get it off your chest.

“I’m so sorry… I don’t mean to be dramatic. It’s just been hard for me.” You explained, dabbing your eyes with a tissue. You didn’t want your interview makeup to run down your face.

“Darling, do not apologize.” Tom scolded, leaning down to your height.

You nodded.

“How long are you in London?” Tom asked.

“Four more days before I go home. I should ask you the same question, haha. I went to the movies a few weeks ago, and I saw your name on three posters!” You gushed. The tears had stopped flowing.

“It is true that I’ve been very busy.” Tom laughed. “I’m home for a few weeks, thankfully. Where are you staying?”

“In a hotel down the street from here.”

“With who?” He asked.

You almost didn’t want to answer. You knew he wasn’t going to like it.

“...Myself.”

“Y/N!”

“I’m y/a, you know.” You mumbled, looking at your feet.

“Uhuh, yeah.” Tom smirked, clicking his tongue. He found it endearing how you thought you were so big and bad now. “You mean you like to be grown up and alone?”

“I thought I would...but no, not with my anxiety.” You answered.

“Y/n, if I ask your mother, would you like to come stay with me in Kingston? I have a guest room and my parents’ house is literally right down the street.” Tom kindly offered.

“Tom, are you serious? You do NOT have to do this.”

“Oh hush! It’s you, Y/n! I insist. I’d love to have you. My family loves you as well.” Tom insisted.

“Okay.. This is actually really, really great. Thank you so much, Tom.” You hugged him tightly.

“Of course, darling. I still have to call your mother though.” Tom said, extending his hand for your phone.

“Tooom. I’m y/a now!” You whined.

“Haha! Like that means anything. Yous a baby!” He teased, ruffling your hair, making you blush.

You let Tom talk to your mom and of course she was okay with it. She felt much better about you staying with people you knew instead of being cooped up in a hotel by yourself. Tom drove you to the hotel to get your stuff. You had to be very quick and sneaky because you did not feel like dealing with paparazzi. You finally got into his car and he made his way to his place.

“You want the aux oooor?” Tom asked, handing you the cord.

“Nah, I’d rather hear what you listen to.” You said. You didn’t really know what music he liked, or even if he liked American music, so you let him play his own.

He listened to quite a variety of music. Lots of rap that he knew every word to. You’d giggle at his raping, but his singing… you were blown away. You were surprised he even sang in front of you, because he’s very self conscious about his singing voice. It was really good. His driving is good, but he had a few questionable moments. You weren’t about to try to give him any advice, but almost called him out a few times. You finally did one time and he insisted that’s how they all drove in the UK.

“Tom, that some bullshit.” You joked, making Tom laugh and blush.

…

“Here we are!” Tom swung open his door to his apartment and it was very nice, and surprisingly clean. There were a few things tossed about the countertops and what not. It was obvious that he travels a lot and doesn’t get much time to spend at home. You felt a bit awkward, even though you knew Tom really well, and of course trusted him. You wanted him to be able to relax and not worry about entertaining you.

“Chill, Y/n!” Tom chuckled. “You’re welcome here. I don’t like being by myself either.”

You relaxed a lot and felt very at home with him. You both had such a good friendship. You were very happy to be able to spend some one-on-one time without constant interruptions and time limits due to schedules.

…

You and Tom ended up on the couch, watching a movie. You were both tired from the travels over the last few weeks. You laid on one end and he laid on the other. His legs reached over to your side, barely, but yours weren’t long enough to reach to his. You thought of a silly idea, to hopefully bring out some of you two’s shared playfulness.

You looked over at Tom, the blanket pulled up to his chest, texting on his phone and glancing up at the movie every once in a while. You then looked back down at his foot that was next to you, with his Spider-Man tattoo on the bottom of it. You smirked before tracing your finger all over the tattoo, causing him to giggle and jerk his foot.

“Y/n, no!” Tom giggled, looking over his phone at you.

“Oh! Sorry, I was just looking at your tattoo!” You said innocently. You wondered if he’d retaliate and tickle you back, but you didn't think he actually would.

“That tickled me.” Tom said quietly, and really cutely, before focusing back on the movie.

You smirked to yourself and went back to “tracing” his tattoo. He laughed and yanked his foot away, sitting up.

“Y/n!” Tom exclaimed. He had a goofy smile on his face, like he knew what you were up to.

“Why do you keep freaking out? I’m just admiring your tattoo!” You said mischievously. You loved playing around with Tom. He really is a sweetheart and likes to joke around quite often.

“Oh reaaally? Because I think you're trying to get me to tickle you.” Tom smirked, raising his distinctive fluffy eyebrow that he has never been able to tame.

You blushed a dark pink, and didn’t really know how to respond. His comment made you very flustered.

“Wow, you’re blushing so much! Now I HAVE to tickle you!” He teased, crawling over you.

You began giggling nervously and pushing at his chest with the blanket.

“Tom Holland! D-Don’t tickle!” You squealed.

He paused for a moment, chuckling, before ripping the blanket away from you and immediately digging all ten digits into your tummy.

“Tickletickletickletickletickle!” He teased in his accent.

You absolutely lost it, thrashing and laughing.

He mocked your laughter, making you laugh even harder and blush even more. You tried to grab his hands but he was too fast and strong.

“Stop trying to fight me!” Tom laughed, now squeezing your hips.

You were in hysterics. His hands squeezing your hips tickled so bad, and every move you made only made it worse… but you HAD to move! It tickled too much not to.

“I think you’re laughing way too much, Y/n! If you keep laughing, I’m going to tickle under your arms!” He threatened with a devious grin.

You covered your mouth with your hands, trying your hardest to muffle your laughter. Tom began tickling your sides and you broke out into loud laughter, shoving at his hands.

“That’s it! I warned you!” He exclaimed, shooting his fingers into your underarms. “Kitchy kitchy kitchy!”

You laughter fell in and out of silent laughter and you collapsed, unable to move. If you moved, it would tickle even more and you couldn’t stand it.

Tom looked down at you, chuckling. “You’re super ticklish, Y/n! I mean, it really blows me away.”

He stopped tickling under your arms, letting you breathe. Then he started squeezing your thighs and you began wiggling around again, your laughter escalating.

“Tom, I cahahan’t! Stahahahaaaa!” You exclaimed through your laughter.

“Oh alright… I’ll just tickle your ribs. I know you’re super ticklish there! Sebastian tickles you there all the time and you absolutely lose it!’

You gasped. “Nonononooo I’m not even ticklish there!” You knew that comment just got you in trouble, but you may have said it on purpose.

“Not ticklish on your ribs? Are you sure? Because I think I remember that if I do this, you start giggling like mad.” He teased, using his index finger to wiggle the middle of your right ribs.

You squeaked and began pushing at him again.

“Oi oi oi.. How dare you push at me when I’m tickling you!” Tom growled. He then grabbed your wrists and pinned your arms above your head. He used his free hand to shake your left ribs.

Your laughter turned into adorable squeaky giggles. The way his fingertips vibrated into your ribs tickled like crazy.

“Does that tickle?” He asked sweetly, chuckling at you. Of course he knew it tickled bad, but he wanted to make you say it.

“YEHEHEHEEESSS!”

“Okay okay! Hahaha I think you’ve had enough.” Tom said. He could tell because you were about to turn purple.

Just as he stopped tickling your ribs, he used his free hand to pin your wrists down more securely. “I almost forgot!” He said, pushing your shirt up a bit so he could blow a raspberry on your tummy.

He blew a huge raspberry, shaking his head, making you scream and then fall into silent laughter. He stopped and looked up at your red face.

“I think you can take one more. What do you think?”

“I cahahan’t!” You squealed.

“Y/n.. You can do anything!” He said with a squinty smile. He then blew another fat raspberry that tickled even more than the first one, your belly laughter filling the room.

He ceased his tickle attack and fell back to his side of the couch. You caught your breath and drank some water while he focused on the movie with a sly smirk. You rolled your eyes at him and smiled, butterflies swarming around in your stomach.

“Tom..?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Um, I think I actually really needed that, so thank you.. And thank you again for rescuing me from having to be alone.” You said quietly, blushing because you actually just thanked him for tickling you.

“Aww haha, anytime Y/n/n. I love you, darling! I’d never let you have to be alone.” He said, sitting up and ruffling your hair, making you smile.

“I love you more!”

“Oh no way! Not possible!”

You both fell asleep on the couch during the movie a few minutes later. You were both tired from hysterical laughing as well as interviews and jet lag. You both related to each other, being young people in the industry, and you especially looked up to him. You spent the rest of your time in London with Tom and his family. He and his brothers absolutely loved showing you around real London culture. You had an amazing trip after all, and you and Tom became even closer than before.

#mcu tickle #tom holland tickle #marvel tickle fic #marvel tickle

154 notes · View notes

writingpaperghost · 3 years

Text

The Power of Our Bonds Will Persevere! (Chapter 4)

Chapter 4: To Live Free, or Die It’s All the Same

And we’re back! I also ended up going ahead and finishing this fic, so that’s great!

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28124817/chapters/74744853

Asahi sat on the bench, stewing on Starry’s words for what felt like months, unsure of what exactly to do with it. Her brothers were still asking around, although she could probably just call them. After all, it would be much easier if all three of them found this alien who supposedly knew about the Terrible Fights, then they’d just have to relay the information to KPaRS. Not to mention, the three of them could make sure no one forgot anything.

Still, somehow Asahi wasn’t sure if she wanted to call her brothers and do this with them. As much as she trusted them and as much as she loved them, for some reason she couldn’t help but feel like she should just go now and find this alien. She didn’t exactly have a lot to go off of and they really didn’t know how much time they had… But then again, her brothers could keep asking around and maybe find out something else about the Terrible Fights.

Besides, if they were so worried about her helping fight, then she could at least help them gather information. That would be nice and safe and helpful. It wasn’t exactly like they were here at this exact moment to stop her.

Of course, it wasn’t exactly like Starry gave her an address, just the knowledge that there was an alien around here who might know something helpful. Starry said the town he lived in wasn’t far from Kurokita, which at least narrowed down the area. Right, well, to the train, she supposed. She’d just start with the closest town.

By the time she arrived in the nearest town, she was surprised that her brothers’ hadn’t finished their investigating and started calling or texting her, wondering where she was. Maybe they were still asking around? Or maybe they just hadn’t realized that she wasn’t back at KPaRS? Maybe they just decided to give her some space…? Well, she supposed it didn’t matter too much, she had work to do.

She recognized this town as the one that she’d first met Akimitsu in, reminding her of how he helped her realize just what she could do with the Kaiju Crystals. She glanced around, trying to decide how to start her search.

If I were a centuries old alien hiding amongst humans, where would I be?

Come to think of it, how did someone pretend to be human for so long? Wouldn’t someone notice that you didn’t age or seemed to never die? Maybe they just lived as the town cryptid or something. She wondered how Saki did it, she lived amongst humans for so long… Then again, it seemed like Saki only interacted with people for intellectual conversation and not really friendship.

Maybe she could just try asking someone? Like, ask them if they knew of someone here who seemed to be really old or something? That might work, she supposed, though there was a chance that the alien moved enough or something that no one would have thought it odd.

…Maybe she should have gotten Katsumi and Isami.

But it was too late for that now, even if she did let them know where she was and tell them to come help her, she’d still have to wait a bit and try to search on her own. So what to do, what to do? Well, she supposed she ought to do something other than stand around, at least, not that she was really sure what else to do.

Starting to wonder the town, she wondered if maybe she should be talking to the people who she passed by. Judging by their looks, she thought that they might realize that she isn’t from the town, but if they did, they didn’t say anything. Like any town, some parts were all close together, other parts weren’t. She was reaching a part of the town where houses and buildings were more spread out, meaning she seemed to be walking past less and less people.

A breeze starts to pick up, still not strong, but enough that Asahi could tell that it grew. The branches of the trees swayed ever so slightly more, just enough that they moved but not enough to move much else. She paused her walking, taking a moment to watch the trees.

What was she doing? Obviously, she was trying to find this alien, this person who might be able to tell them something about the monsters that attacked the city. That’s what she kept telling herself, some justification for all this but… Why was she finding herself doing it alone? Hadn’t she always preferred to be with her brothers? Well that was true, and she was simply doing it alone because she wanted to show her brothers that she could be helpful, that they didn’t have to worry about her. She still liked to do things with her brothers, she still wanted to know that they had her back, that if she ever needed them they’d be there… But she also knew that she didn’t always need them. She could do things on her own, not just things like this, like finding someone and talking to them.

She was Ultrawoman Grigio, after all. She could fight monsters and aliens and whatever else on her own. She’d done it here, she’d discovered a use of her powers that she’d probably have never thought to try and gained powers she most likely never would have otherwise. She’d met a lot of people she wouldn’t have met had she not found herself in this world, and really she’d love to meet more. There were so many interesting people, both human and not. KPaRS alone had so many people who were all so different and interesting, Tomomi, Chikako, Rin, Jun, Katsuhito, everyone. Not to mentions the others she met, Musashi – Cosmos, Mirai, Rei and Hyuga, and even Mr. Juggler…

Smiling to herself, she realized something that hadn’t quite registered with her until then. All the interesting people she’d met… They were really just the tip of the iceberg, there were so many other people in just her own world, let along another like this one. They’d all have their own experiences and everything. So many interesting people… And she’d probably only ever meet a few of them, but really, she felt like she was lucky to have even met the ones she has already.

…Not that any of that helped her with her current problem. She still had to figure out how to find the alien she was looking for. Standing there in the breeze, Asahi still hadn’t figured out what she should do.

“Are you lost, miss?” Asahi jumped slightly, startled from the voice. She hadn’t heard anyone walk up to her, nor had she seen the man, but she supposed she hadn’t exactly been paying attention, either. Turning to the source of the voice, she saw a man who seemed to be regarding her in a concerned manner. There wasn’t anything particularly unusual about him, at least not at first glance. Dark hair cut relatively short, a plain shirt and jeans. The most remarkable part of his whole appearance was the jacket he wore, which she quickly realized was patterned after her – or rather, Grigio. Still, despite his more or less ordinary appearance, there was something about him that just… Just didn’t seem right, but Asahi couldn’t really figure out what.

“I, uh, well not exactly,” She responded, which wasn’t a lie, precisely. Yes, she didn’t actually know where she was or where she might be heading. She didn’t know where she needed to head at all. Which, by virtue of not knowing where she was going in the first place, meant that she hadn’t really gotten lost. She was just wandering, like Mr. Gai claimed to do, but on a much, much, smaller scale.

The man gave her a curious look at her answer, she supposed she shouldn’t be surprised. The answer she provided was rather vague, not really something that you’d expect to hear from really anyone. “Are you lost?” is a yes or no question, after all. Not a “Not exactly” question.

Shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, done in such a relaxed manner that Asahi concluded he was less bugged by his answer than she initially thought, the man hummed. She couldn’t tell if it was in confusion or what, but he most certainly hummed, though it was quiet. “Quite a tricky question, then,” He noted, “Lost or not? Maybe you have no where to be, maybe you have everywhere to be, maybe you’re right where you need to be.”

Asahi squints, as though there might be some hidden meaning to what he said. She didn’t really get it, the first part made some sense, but then he kept going and lost her. She’d certainly decided she wasn’t lost, so she knew the answer to that. But the rest of it was a bit odd, she didn’t really know what to say.

Frowning slightly, the man shrugs, taking her silence and confused expression in stride, “I guess neither of us would know the answer to that,” He paused for a moment, before continuing, “So what brings you here?”

And of course, it’s all come full circle back to the problem that had led to her coming here in the first place. It was decision that she was beginning to second guess, were she being completely honest. Her solo search was a bit silly, really, when she kept in mind that she had little to go off. She could be searching all day and still be far, far away from the person she was searching for. But she couldn’t exactly say that she was searching for an alien who experienced The Terrible Fights. Not that she was going to lie to this guy, either.

“Er well,” She began, “I’m looking for someone. I just… don’t really know where he is. Or who he is.” Hearing it out loud, it was painfully obvious to Asahi just how silly and crazy her entire plan to find the alien was. The man, to his credit, managed to rein in his surprise and/or amusement at her response. No, the only real emotion she could manage to figure out from him was amusement. About what, exactly, she could only speculate, though it was most likely also from her response.

“That’s… quite the search you’re on,” The man whistled, though there was something in his eyes. It was hard to explain, but it seemed like he was intrigued, or at least that was the best guess Asahi could hazard. He continued, seemingly unphased by how odd her search really was, “So little to go off of… I can’t imagine you’re having much luck.”

She didn’t immediately know how to respond. The most logical response would be to simply nod her head and agree, because it was little to go off of and she wasn’t having much luck. Somehow, though, she could bring herself to do that, at least not on it’s own. While it would be so easy to just give in, to give up and go tell her brothers, to get their help, she knew she couldn’t do that. She had to show them, she was to keep searching and find this alien.

It was just a bit debatable about how possible it was.

“You’re not wrong,” She said, “I… I just really need to find this person. I need his help.”

With a small smile, the man nodded, “Oh, I get it. Need the help of someone you barely know, probably for reasons completely beyond and outside of your control.” He laughed a little, “It’s a pain but it ends up happening more often than the average person would think.”

Nodding weakly, Asahi responded, “Yep…”

His smile, small as it was, formed into an equally small frown, “Well certainly you have at least a bit to go off of.”

“Well… Sort of,” She said, “I know that he lived through a very specific event… Uh, but that’s about it.” She was beginning to wonder if she should stop saying so much to this person. He was a stranger, after all, and she really couldn’t just come out and say just what this alien she was looking for was.

“A very specific event, huh?” The man echoed, “Well, maybe I can help you find him? I know pretty much everyone in this town. Not that I can think of many who went through any events that no on else around here has.”

It was nice of him to offer to help her, but she wasn’t really sure how much she could really tell him. After all, if she said, ‘oh, he’s an alien who lived through The Terrible Fights’ it would probably raise some eyebrows. So that was a no-go, at least as far as the exact details were.

“It’s uh, nice of you to offer,” She responded, “But you really don’t have to, I’m sure I can manage on my own.”

Frowning, the man quickly asked, “Are you sure?”

Chances are the guy wouldn’t even be able to help her anyway. “Yeah, I’m sure,” She smiles, an act so simple and easy to her that it was already making her feel at least a little better.

Though the man didn’t seem entirely convinced, though perhaps a part of that was just concern, he nodded, “If you say so, at least wandering around here you’re less likely to get caught up in a monster attack than in the city.” He took a breath, looking up at the sky for a moment. Muttering under his breath, almost too quiet for Asahi to hear, he grumbled, “For now, at least.”

Before she could think much about what he said, or about her own response, Asahi asked, “What do you mean, for now?” His head snapped to look at her, surprise across his face. He must not have expected for her to be able to hear him. “What makes you think that the monsters will show up any place that they haven’t before?”

The man regarded her for a moment, before noting, “You heard that, huh?” He sighed, closing his eyes while doing so. He seemed… a bit tired, or something, judging by the way his shoulders moved. “It’s not that I expect the normal monsters to just change on their own or anything but…”

“But…?” Asahi wasn’t sure why she wanted to know so badly. Maybe it was because of how strange this man was, even if she still couldn’t really place it.

“Those monsters that showed up earlier… They won’t give the others a choice.” He let out a bitter laugh, like someone who was resigned to something. “The monsters will go after cities first, they know they have the most people, then the smaller towns and villages are next. Unless those Ultras can stop the two, then that’s that.”

That more of less made sense and lined up with what they knew about the Terrible Fights and the two monsters’ connection to them. But there was one thing that stood out to her, something she couldn’t ignore. “How do you know that?”

He looked at her, eyes widening ever so slightly, “I, uh, well I read about the Terrible Fights in a book, you know.” He responded rather quickly, “So I guess I’m just putting two and two together.”

Somehow, Asahi really doubted it was that simple. But it wasn’t like she got a chance to ask much more. Right as she began to ask, a roar echoed across the town, startling both herself and the man. She was certain she’d heard that roar before somewhere, but she wasn’t sure. She was more focused on the fact that that was clearly a kaiju’s roar, which meant there was a Kaiju here. She’d have no choice but to deal with it if it came close to the town.

Both of them turned towards the direction that they’d heard the roar from. Off towards a hill outside the town, the ground moved and rumbled as something emerged. There was too much dust and rubble from the still emerging Kaiju to make out much – if any – of it’s appearance.

The man appeared surprised, presumably from the monster’s appearance. “Horo!” He called out before running off. Except, instead of running in the opposite direction, like one might expect someone to do when a monster appears, he ran in the direction of the Kaiju. Still, judging by his reaction, perhaps the shock wasn’t simply from the appearance of a monster as it was the appearance of this monster. Once way or another, it seemed the man was familiar with this Kaiju.

Yet the question remained. Why?

By the time she’d process what had happened, the man was already almost out of her sight. She didn’t have much more time to really think about anything, so she did what she figured was probably the most logical thing to do. Follow after the man. The man she’d just met. Who was running towards a monster. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t exactly the most logical course of action.

“Wait up!” She called out, though if the man heard her he paid her no mind. He ran towards the Kaiju, still obscured by the dust and debris, she chased after, hoping for some kind of answers.

She followed him to the base of the mountain, where the monster’s appearance became clear. It had emerged from the mountain and now all the dust had settled, a pile of rocks and trees at it’s feet. Now that she could see it, Asahi realized why the roar of the monster had sounded familiar. She’d seen this Kaiju before, in Ayaka. While Aizen had been the one to use it at first, she more associated it’s use with Saki.

Peering down at the man, Horoboros opened his mouth, like he was about to roar. Instead, though, the sound that Horoboros made was more akin to a whimper. As he lowered itself down to the man’s height, the man raised his hand, which Horoboros fondly nuzzled.

“Hey, Horo,” The man spoke softly, “It’s been a while.”

Asahi wasn’t sure if she should say anything. It felt like she was intruding on something, though she couldn’t explain why exactly that feeling had come to her. One way or another, Horoboros and the man clearly knew each other. Had it been with someone other than a Kaiju, it would be a conventionally heartwarming scene. As it were, it was still rather sweet, but there was also a tension in the air, one that in part came from having a giant monster appear.

Horoboros grumbles something, clearly careful not to be too loud. Despite the fact that monsters didn’t generally speak a language understandable by humans, the man chuckled. “I know, I missed you too,” Though he sounded a bit happy with is words, there was still a hint of concern, “I just wished we could have seen each other again for better reasons. But you’ve been awoken, you won’t be the first… And I just don’t know what to do now.”

“Um,” While she felt a bit odd speaking up, Asahi couldn’t help but say something. She knew there was more to this than what she could tell. If she was lucky, then maybe this man actually could help her. “Just who are you, sir? Can you… Can you understand Horoboros?”

The man turned his head to look at her while Horoboros looked in her direction. “Ah, well… My name is Nobuyuki and as for Horoboros…” The man, Nobuyuki, trailed off, pausing in thought. Horoboros nuzzles at him again, a content purring sound coming from his throat. “…I can understand him.”

If Nobuyuki could understand Horoboros, then could he understand other Kaijus? It would make sense, but at the same time, she could understand having a sort of understanding with a Kaiju. Though she thought that in this case, it may be different.

“Why has Horoboros woken up so suddenly? Does it have something to do with those two monsters?” Does it have something to do with The Terrible Fights remained unasked. Asahi was doing everything in her power not to get too hopeful. After all, if Nobuyuki could understand Kaijus, then he could be the alien that helped during The Terrible Fights.

Examining her for a moment, Nobuyuki sighed, “Unfortunately, yes,” Horoboros made a sad sound, “With Petrellator and Drabestia’s return, they’ve awoken many sleeping monsters, to force them to attack humans. Like The Terrible Fights of the past, it will be humans versus monsters and only one will be allowed to survive.”

Asahi bit her lip at that, she didn’t want the fate of humans to come down to the eradication of Kaijus. That wasn’t a choice anyone should have to make, one species for another, not when they could certainly live together. Not to mention, it would be hard for humans to survive against monsters, due to the size difference. With Kenshin to worry about as well, there was no guarantee that her and her brothers would be able to stop them.

“But it can be stopped, can’t it? The Terrible Fights were stopped, the humans managed to communicate with the monsters and they didn’t have to fight.” It was the most she could hope, that the solution of the past would work for the present. It couldn’t be that so much had changed that it wouldn’t work.

Nobuyuki pursed his lips, “Well, it certainly worked in the past… But I don’t believe it will work this time…”

“Why not?” Using all the self-control she had not to yell. She didn’t understand why everything had to be so complicated! Why couldn’t it just be as simple to have an easy solution that they could do?

Horoboros made a sad sound as Nobuyuki frowned, then sighed before responding, “Someone is aiding the two, presumably whoever woke them up. Whatever they’ve done have made the monsters unreasonable. When they first appeared I went to one nearby… I was lucky to make it out of there…” He shook his head, “I’m afraid there is nothing we can do, this time.”

The way he spoke… The revelation of just who she was talking to hit Asahi like a brick, “You’re… You’re an alien. You were the one who talked with the monsters during The Terrible Fights.”

With an almost bitter laugh, Nobuyuki responded, “Indeed I am, to all of that.” He seemed so resigned, “But I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do, this time.” It was hard to understand why he seemed so willing to give up. Surely there was something they could do, surely there was some other option here.

It felt like Asahi was grasping at straws as her mind whirled, trying to find a solution. “If… If we find the person who is making the monsters angry and defeat them, then would you be able to talk with the monsters?” She had a feeling that Kenshin was behind it, it would certainly make sense, as well as her and her brothers’ arrival here coinciding with Petrellator and Drabestia’s appearance.

“I suppose,” He considered, “Though I doubt whoever would be so easily defeated by… Unless…”

His head snapped up and he eyed Asahi for a moment, “You’re an Ultra,” It wasn’t so much a question as an observation. In response, she just nodded, figuring there was no point in pretending otherwise. He gave a small smile, “That’s why you want to find a way…” He glances down at his own jacket, which was, after all, patterned after Grigio. He grimaced but said nothing.

Continuing, Nobuyuki seemed to be slightly more hopeful than before, “If you could defeat whoever is enraging the Kaijus, then I could talk to them and make peace. But unlike last time, where Petrellator and Drabestia went to sleep, they won’t this time. They’ll have to be defeated first, not to mention I doubt whoever’s aiding them will appear until they have to.”

“Then my brothers and I will have to stop them,” Nobuyuki smiled at her response while Horoboros let out a content purr. “And then everything will be fine.”

“Good luck, then, Ultrawoman Grigio,”

Grinning, Asahi’s responds, “My name is Asahi, it’s a bit easier to say than Grigio.”

“Right,” Nobuyuki nods, “Asahi. Good luck, to both you and your brothers.”

Asahi left Nobuyuki and Horoboros at the mountain, sending a quick text Fuyuko about Horoboros. After all, she wouldn’t want anyone mistake Horoboros for a danger. Then she sent a text to her brothers, letting them know what she’d found who they were looking for and she’d explain back at KPaRS’ base.

By the time she’d arrived, the sun was already starting to set. Setting foot into the main room, Katsumi and Isami immediately rushed over. “You’re back,” Katsumi noted, his tone outwardly calm, but knowing him he’d probably been worrying. She felt a bit bad.

Isami, on the other hand, did not conceal his concern quite so well, “You should have told us you were going off somewhere!”

Okay, so maybe she felt more than a bit bad, but she’d be darned if she let her brothers know just how much. “I wasn’t sure it led anywhere, so I thought it would be best that you two keep looking,” It wasn’t like they didn’t always leave her behind, anyway. Ayaka never really got monsters, their Earth barely saw them until Aizen began to use the Gyro and Crystals to summon them. Even now, there really wasn’t any reason for someone to stay there at all time, so long as thing were going as they usually were, no outside force like Kenshin involved.

But they never viewed it as leaving her behind, they viewed it as keeping her safe. Like if a monster did show up, she’d need their help. While it was true that she was better as acting as support for someone, or at least having some kind of teammate to help her, she could certainly take care of herself, especially now that she had her Kaijus to help her. They weren’t really protecting her from anything, they were just making sure she wouldn’t end up in danger at all. Except even that didn’t work, if the incident where Ultra Dark Killer tried to kidnap her was any indication (Especially given he had succeeded, even with Zero around to try to protect her. Maybe both his and her brothers’ problems were simply they tried too hard to protect her instead of… Well instead of something else.)

“Anyway!” She said, looking past her brothers to the members of KPaRS, “I found the alien who can speak to monsters.” With that, Asahi recounted Nobuyuki and what he’d told her, as well as her guess that Kenshin was ultimately behind all this.

“That would make sense,” Matsuoka noted, “Though that still presents a problem.”

Katsumi’s eyes narrowed, “Defeating Petrellator and Drabestia,”

Crossing their arms, Rin responded, “Though it appears that after your fight with them today, Drabestia is injured, which should help you in fighting the two of them.”

“But we don’t really know what Petrellator is capable of, either.” Isami sighed.

Not knowing what their opponent was capable of wasn’t the only problem, though, even if Katsumi and Isami didn’t seem to want to admit it, was that the two were still injured from their fights earlier. While it didn’t seem to be too bad, there was no guarantee that they’d be able to do much fighting tomorrow. They might have been able to convince KPaRS earlier, but they were clearly worse for wear at this point.

Katsumi was doing the best to pretend he was fine, but judging by the way he winced when he moved his arms, he’d gotten hurt a bit. Isami was doing a worse job, clearly tired and having more bruises visible, especially when his sleeves got hiked up. Since Asahi spent pretty much the entire fight away from anything that could really hurt her, she was the best off. Depending on how recovered the two were when Petrellator and Drabestia made there next appearance, she might have to shoulder more of the fighting.

While that was fine by her, she was certain her brothers wouldn’t be happy about it.

With a wry smile, Matsuoka finally said, “There’s not much we can do about that,” He glanced to the three siblings, then back to the rest of KPaRS, “For now, let’s just get some rest. We’ve done what we can, for now.”

Everyone nodded, but Asahi found herself not heading to the rooms that KPaRS was providing, but to the roof. She glanced at the sky, with the sun now set and the stars out and about, twinkling. She wasn’t particularly tired, despite all that had happened today. So instead, she decided she’d watch the sky, wondering about what lay beyond.

There was so much past this Earth, past any one Earth. After all, that was where Saki and her brothers had come from, somewhere in space. She’d never asked much about it, or about the original Rosso and Blu – it was partly because Saki didn’t seem to like to talk about it, partly because she’d never cared to dwell on something so far in the past. Now she regretted it, though. There didn’t seem to be anyone left to carry the story of the three, except for when they arrived on Earth.

She’d always wonder what it was like to travel the stars like that. She wondered what it was like to travel around even just the Earth. Both Katsumi and Isami got to go to places so far from home, got to see places that were so different from Ayaka. The closest Asahi has had is here in Kurokita and that was simply because it was another world, one filled with Kaijus so much that they were simply a fact of life.

Ah, those stars there reminded her of something… There, it looked like… The Makoto Crystal, that’s it. The stars made the shape of the Makoto Crystal when her brothers’ and her were using it to become Gruebe. It made her feel a bit… A bit sad, though she couldn’t exactly explain why.

With a yawn, the excitement of the day seemed to be finally wearing off, leaving Asahi to get up and decide to go to bed. Who knows when those monsters might appear again, they needed to be ready. She knew that they’d be able to do it, to defeat the two monsters, but they weren’t going to be able to if they were tired, especially since she was the only one who wasn’t particularly hurt, right now.

#ultraman #ultraman rb #asahi mintao #ultrawoman grigio #my writing #the power of our bonds will persevere!#waiting at the end of the road is happiness

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ephemerlskies · 4 years

Text

arcadia | part two (final)

⇢ pairing: taehyung x reader

⇢ genre: angst, the teeniest bit of fluff, exes to lovers, more angst

⇢ word count: 3.6k

⇢ warnings: lots n lots of arguing; swearing; one (1) racist white guy who says racist white guy things;

⇢ summary: fate. destiny. karma. whatever you rationalized in your mind, it brought you here. face to face with your ex-lover, longing for something you'd been missing for the several months since you two parted ways. seeing him once again stirred up questions mutually wondered by the both of you. why and how did it happen? why did it end so suddenly? is this really the end?

╰ episode index: 01 | 02

“Can I kiss you?”

It all came rushing back and it wasn’t calm in the slightest. It swept you away like a tsunami and as the waters fled back to the sea all that remained were the ruins of the past. Everything that was built still there, but shattered into pieces. Broken enough to be unrecognizable and how unsettling it was to gaze upon that. So now you were faced with this strange disposition towards what the next step would be. You could run away, find somewhere else to call home, and it would be easy. Or you could stay, and spend every waking hour re-puzzling and reconstructing all that was once standing so tall which would be difficult but the most rewarding. And if it weren’t for that damn tsunami, you wouldn’t have to face this decision at all.

“Taehyung…” You couldn’t bring yourself to say no, but you were internally pleading he would get the hint.

“But you love me back?” He spoke with such longing and it was absolutely heartbreaking. He ran his fingers along your cheek with hope it would sway you to say yes, for once maybe you’d give him the upper hand.

“Stop,” Get a grip, you know what you’re doing, “Tae I’m serious, no.” It took more strength than you expected to back away from him.

The anger rose again, “No, you can’t.” He stepped back when you stepped back, but his stride was driven by frustration and yours was driven by fear. “You’re so mean, you always do this! You know how you feel, you know how you make me feel and you’re hurting me all over again. I don’t believe it was because I was too young because… fuck that! I loved you so much. I loved you so much that I wanted to give up everything for you and I don’t care how that sounds, I just loved you. I still love you.”

“God, you’re acting like a child!” Your voice was loud, you wanted him to hear you, finally. And you weren’t going to let fear be the reason to hold back anymore.

“Yeah, right.” He scoffed, “And you’re acting like you don’t have anything to say.”

“You know what, fine! Yes, I ran away. I was scared and I didn’t know how to handle this. Us. I- I was so afraid of losing you. I was afraid and I told myself it was because I was holding you back but it wasn’t all that.” You caught your breath, as you found this release to be an accumulation of all your emotions from the six month since everything ended.

You needed to pause, and from the stunned and disbelieving look painted upon Taehyung’s face, he needed to wrap his mind around this. Or brace himself for what is about to come.

It was midnight. Already?

You were never one to be insecure or jealous and the fact that you have been mulling over how many girls he probably talked to tonight made you more frustrated with yourself than him. You knew it was wrong. These are just small anxieties that will pass. As much as you really wished you could convince yourself that was true, saying it over and over again didn’t seem to stop or even slow down these worries. Even mindlessly watching the t.v. was not aiding in the slightest as it usually did.

Eventually, you had to call. Just once.

No.

Yes.

No, don’t be that girlfriend.

What if he needs me?

And what if he doesn’t…

“God, get a grip.” You immediately purged your mind of that thought, and of course you did as your specialty was avoiding anything that caused the slightest bit of inner turmoil.

So, you settled on your sister. You called, and she picked up, and you did everything in your power to prolong that conversation while at the same time doing everything in your power to not bring up Taehyung.

“So how’s Taehyung?” She finally asked. The dreaded question that functioned as another light conversation starter, but you knew it was going to open a flood of emotions. The only response she received was a long, heavy sigh.

You cried, then cried harder.

“Fuck, did something happen? Y/n please, talk to me.”

With her soft words, you knew you could open to her over anything that seemed over dramatic or silly or insignificant. “Um,” you took a deep breath and did the most to stabilize your voice, “okay so I never wanted to be the girl that was jealous. I love Tae and I know he loves me but-“

You paused, afraid of actually speaking these fears into existence. Your hands wouldn’t stop shaking and you were convinced you could see your heart beating outside of your chest.

“I just, I feel like I’m losing him.”

Her silence signified you to elaborate on this wild apprehension.

“I mean, he’s young. Not like much younger than me, but there’s still that difference. I’m starting to notice it more and more, you know?” You paused again, now grabbing a tissue to blow your nose, “And I know I probably sound crazy and stupid but I’ve never felt like this for someone. I feel like I depend on him so much. He makes me so happy it’s fucking terrifying!”

“You’re scared of loving him too much” Your sister was beyond puzzled by that, though she did understand that love could be treacherous. Though, she never questioned your relationship with Taehyung and that was true, “Hun, you guys are like ‘that’ couple.”

“What does that even mean,” you laugh at the absurdity of her comment.

“I don’t know, I just can’t imagine Taehyung to even see another girl as a girl. Well I mean he sees girls but he just… He’s like an old man.”

“I get you’re trying to help but you’re just confusing me even more.” Your eyes began to dry and your hands steadied out. Your sister never really had a way with words, however you could always understand exactly what she was trying to say. So, you played dumb because you needed her to reaffirm it one more time.

“Well you know what I mean, okay! I’ve never met a man who was so oblivious to women who throw themselves at him.” She exclaimed, now a bit more aggressively. You could tell she was desperately trying to convince you of his loyalty.

“I don’t doubt that he’d never cheat. I know he wouldn’t, it’s not about that.” You responded, “I feel like I’m not good enough. I feel like every time he goes out he discovers a new part of himself and he grows, and I want him to grow! But, the more and more that he changes, I feel like he’ll start to drift away from me. He’ll grow, but he’ll grow apart from me. And I love him. And at some point I will continue to love him and he will continue to grow apart from me. What if some day I won’t be enough to satisfy him? I know that’s how things work!” You anxiety grew angrier, “It’s happened before.”

“So, that’s where this is coming from.” Your sister sighed, recalling the way Father hurt both of you and your mother. “Y/n, two things: one, our father was an idiot. He was stupid, and obviously Taehyung isn’t stupid and he’s not our father. And two, just because it happened once, doesn’t mean it will happen with every man.”

At this comment, you scoffed. It is a bit unbelievable to hear that not all men are manipulative and neglectful having gone through abandonment from your own father. Ever since then, you’ve done your best to withdraw from any possibility of disappointment though that meant you missed out on quite a lot.

“I know, I know how that sounds, but I think you should wait, or communicate, but just don’t overreact about this. I truly believe - no - I know he’s head over heels for you and that is not going to change. Just trust that he wouldn’t hurt you.” She reasoned, and when she said it, it sounded right. It sounded like something that made sense but when you look at him, all that rationality begins to fade.

“And-“ she paused, accounting for the years of learning your behavior when discussing your father she proceeded with caution, “you can’t compare everyone to our father. He’s not worth it.”

You were about to protest; you wanted so badly to prove that she was wrong and that he didn’t still take up an unhealthy amount of space in your thoughts. But, you couldn’t bring yourself to because you knew she was right.

“I’m going to bed, but thank you. Really, thank you for listening.” You tried your best to sound settled, and you wanted to believe that all the good and reassurance she spoke tonight was the truth. “I love you.”

“Love you too, hun. Goodnight”

With that, you decided it would be best to do the reasonable thing for once and sleep this off. You checked your phone one last time.

2:15 a.m.

The door opened, and you felt his warm body lie next to yours.

And you couldn’t help but wonder how much longer he would be next to you.

“Tae. I’m really not trying to put the ‘I’m older card’.”

“Yeah,” He sighed, “but you’re about to.” He knew you all too well.

“I’ve experienced something like this!” Your throat tightened, but you pushed through. “It just seemed so good. And it was good! You were so good and you have your life that was ready to be lived. I was afraid one day you wouldn’t want me to be apart of that! And I know, okay, I know I was afraid and I was a coward for not believing in us but, shit! I was terrified, Tae! I depended on you so much to the point where if I didn’t hear from you I’d go insane. And when I tried to call I felt like I was holding you back from living your life! And I had no right to do that and I was..” You chocked out a sob but continued, “I was miserable, I hated feeling like that - again.”

Taehyung was left without words. He kept attempting to construct a response but his mind was blank. All this was unknown to him until now and he couldn’t for the life of him convey how badly he wished you told him this from the beginning.

“It wasn’t healthy, Tae. I wasn’t healthy.” You curled your hair behind your ear as your eyes shifted from the floor to the gazebo post, and back to the floor. “Part of me really hates this. Admitting this, it’s hard.”

“Y/n…” He looked absolutely dumbfounded. “I’m not your father.” He was also staring at the floor.

“No, I know that. I know.”

“So then why couldn’t you just tell me?” His attention returned back to you.

“What would that accomplish?” You laughed in exasperation, crossing your arms and turning around the look back at the lake. You continued, but softer, “All that would do is make you feel guilty which would make me feel guilty and there would just be a build up of resentment which would just lead to us breaking up.”

“You know,” he also spoke gently but with conviction, “just because you were ready to give up, doesn’t mean I was.”

You stared blankly at him, a mix of guilt and regret beginning to muster in your heart. Were you the tsunami?

"Wrong."

"What?" You questioned sternly with unwavering eyes.

Taehyung's head tilted down, a smug grin resting comfortably on his face. He knew what this did to you and he relished in your frustration.

"You're wrong. You sound dumb too." He stated with a casual shrug.

Was he really choosing now out of all times to let his asshole tendencies to shine through?

"You- you’re an ass, Tae." Your face felt hot, and you knew your cheeks were involuntarily glowing red. As you began to turn away from the boy and flip your hair dramatically to spite him, he gripped your shoulders firmly.

"Stop saying that." He paused, his grin soon morphing into a smile of warmth, "Stop self-deprecating like that when it's so fucking far from the truth."

The rain padded down on the roof of the gazebo, filling each momentary silence with a bit of serenity. The only thing anchoring you to reality was the sound of the raindrops.

"What are you-"

"God, you're so frustrating.” Taehyung held on tighter, and he wanted you to listen, “You're so talented and passionate in ways that you can't see but it's so blinding to me. Why can’t you see how smart you are?" His tone was aggressive as if he was trying to convince you of this. As if he’d been trying to convince you of this for a long time, "Look at yourself. You are doing exactly what I could never do. You're chasing your dream and even though you fail. Like, you fail. A lot."

"Okay, fuck I get it I suck." You furrow your eyebrows and attempt to pull away from his grasp.

"No. You fail because of that mindset that you 'suck'. It's your lack of confidence that holds you back. You focus on all your failures and forget about all the amazing things you've done." He didn't let go, he promised himself a long time ago he would never let go.

"Okay fine. I'm scared." You felt your tears welling up, and that same lump in your throat swell when you fought back tears. "What if I'm not good enough?" You spoke quietly, the slightest quiver traced in your words.

"You put yourself through grad school working two shitty jobs while at the same time being a kick ass intern at Park's law firm. You're in school now and on the path to getting your master's degree in law school." He moved his hands to cup your cheeks, forcing you to look into his eyes.

"I mean yeah but..." You started, feeling your heart flutter. When did his eyes start glowing so brightly?

"No 'buts'. You're a badass. You intimidate me and that's why I'm so tough with you. God, can't you see how amazing you are? You inspire me every day to get my lazy ass out of bed and go to class. Your persistence, your energy literally infects me with inspiration to be like you. If I could be half the perso-" You had to do it. You had to release everything you felt piling up in your heart. You had to kiss him.

You didn't expect to be here, under an old, filthy gazebo, kissing the man who just last week told you he thought you were a pretentious square. And yet, here you were. Doing exactly that.

For a moment, everything was good. You've finally acted upon countless sleepless nights of pining over him. The times you've cried and Taehyung, despite being a bit crude, listened to you whine for hours. You pulled away, dreading that expected 'I don't feel that way about you' speel. But as you were, he pulled you back in, closer.

His arms slipped around your waist, and he held you against him. It was warm, even in the winter. And it was safe, even with the enigmatic and terrifying future that awaited you.

"I've waited so long for you to do that." Taehyung whispered against your lips.

You immediately responded to this with a sharp elbow in his side, "You know the guy is the one who's supposed to make the first move, idiot!"

"And yet, here you are. Kissing me. You kissed me. Besides, you were never one to abide by tradition." He teased and as you were beginning to protest he pressed his lips against yours once again. The words you were about to say faded away. Fading into something of a feeling rather than a thought. A feeling of pure love.

“I thought you-“

“You were wrong, y/n. Yeah, I went out a lot but that has nothing to do with why I changed. I changed because of so many reasons, you being one of them! Probably the biggest reason, if I’m being honest.” His arms were still just as expressive as his voice. With every word he said, he spoke with his entire body and you aren’t sure why but you really love that about him.

“Well-“

“No, y/n, you don’t understand how much you meant to me,” he interrupted, becoming more eager to speak, “maybe I didn’t show it well enough or the ways I tried to didn’t translate but god, I loved you so much.” He wiped the tears from his eyes, and proceeded with strength. You turned back around, and every time he says he loves you, you always find yourself holding on tighter.

“I was such a piece of shit when I was a kid. I was abrasive and stubborn and cold. But when I met you, I don’t know, you were so kind and thoughtful and loud. Admittedly I thought you were annoying at first,” he paused and smiled, recollecting all the ridiculous things you would say to him. He didn’t catch when it happened, but one day he found himself waiting for you to tell him any and every ridiculous thing you wanted because he grew to love it, “but that’s because I was so closed off to the idea of allowing someone to care for me. But once I did, and once you showed me that I could also be that person for someone else, I did everything I could to be good. I wanted to be good for you and for everyone. But you made me want to.”

Now, though your eyes remained full of tears, you were fighting back a smile. And you began to replay every moment you shared with this man. “I didn’t know that.” Was all you could mutter.

“Yeah well, maybe we just sucked at talking back then.” He laughed, “But that’s the thing, sweetheart, things do change. But that doesn’t mean they will change in a way that will make two people incompatible. You assumed it wouldn’t work out even though I tried to become someone that you could count on. I assumed I could just go on without addressing anything that troubled me or you because I didn’t know how to approach that. We both fucked up because we couldn’t realize that let alone admit to either of these things.”

“That we can agree on.” You commented with dismay. It stung to look back at the way you handled everything.

“But for god’s sake, we loved each other! And I know that if we stuck it out for just a little bit longer things would have worked out, but instead you-“ He paused, evaluating how to phrase his thoughts, “you just left. And that broke me.”

“I guess... it was a presumptuous of me to give up.” You thought to yourself what a pathetic piece of sentiment that was to a man who you love telling you how you ripped his heart form his chest. Say something else, anything, “I’m sorry.” Again, pathetic. “But you’re right. We’ve changed. And I wonder, quite a lot, if those changes would have strengthened us.” You offered a light smile, “Maybe I do regret it.”

“Maybe?” Taehyung teased.

“Fine, definitely. I definitely regret it.”

“Do you remember the first time we met?” He stepped closer, and you allowed him to. Your eyes invited him to be close with you once again, and be gladly accepted that offer.

“Of course, art class. It was my pre-req and it was your major. And it just so happens that we were in the same class.” You looked at his eyes, which were staring right back at you, and you couldn’t deny how warm it made your cheeks feel.

“Yes, that’s the first time you met me, but that’s not the first time I met you.” Once again, you two were centimeters apart and aching to be in one another’s arms.

Taehyung heard a loud bang, and an angry voice soon followed.

“What the fuck?!”

He turned his head to discover that voice was coming from you. “How obnoxious.” He mumbled to himself as he turned back to his sketches. Being that it was the library and the one universally known rule was to be quiet, he found your loud exclamation rude. Of course, the second he gains some mobility in inspiration for his new art project he is interrupted by some loudmouth stranger.

“What’s your problem?” You question, eyebrows furrowed in attempt to make yourself look much tougher than you actually were. Taehyung’s attention was yet again stolen from his artwork by your loud voice.

“What? She was the one that was in my way, who cares. She should go back to her own country anyway.” The random man spat these hateful towards you and a Latina freshman trying to mask her puffy eyes. She was trying to be strong, but you could tell she was afraid.

“What the fuck did you just say?” You narrowed your eyes in complete disgust, and now clenched your hand in a fit of rage. You felt the heat rise to your face and every limb of your body was shaking in anger.

“I said that Mexican girl needs to get out of my country.” He spoke with such contempt it made your blood boil.

You, with your incessant need to put people in their place when needed, and it was definitely needed now, decided the only way to do so was with a swift knee to his crotch. You grasped both his shoulders, thanking god he wasn’t too tall, and kneed up as hard as humanly possible. In hindsight, there might have been a more sophisticated way in which to deal with racists like that man, but in all fairness, that was nothing but deserved. Not to mention you didn’t regret it in the slightest.

“Oh fuck, you BITCH!” He screamed as he fell to the floor, clutching himself and nearing tears. This extremely unflattering position he was in now made up for the loss of focus for Taehyung.

“Oh shit, we should get out of here.” You tried your best to hold back from laughing at this moron who was now groveling on the floor, but your efforts failed as laughter kept spilling from you and the other girl’s mouths. You grabbed the freshmen’s hand and ran a good distance from the vicinity of the library.

Taehyung eyebrows were raised and he as well was holding his laugh in the back of his throat. As much as he wanted to tell you to shut up at first, there was something about you that struck him. The way you carried yourself and your passion to be kind drew him in. Everything about you demanded his attention and he couldn’t quite tell whether it was because you were so annoying or enchanting. Nevertheless, his eyes didn’t leave you until you vanished from his vision. And he wondered if he’d ever see you again.

You laughed out of pure embarrassment, “Oh wow, okay that was your first encounter with me?”

“Hey at least I wasn’t the guy that got kicked in the nuts by you.” He joined you in laughter. “Plus, it was pretty hot.”

“Yeah well he deserved it.”

And there you were, laughing, reminiscing in old memories as if nothing had changed. Even after everything, after things really did change, you and Taehyung cannot help but share these moments of pure enjoyment. You and him, existing together and it feels like nothing in the world could change that.

You both realized this, and stood silently. Your eyes were locked onto each other’s and were both waiting for something to happen. But nothing did, and you waited. He began to look as uneasy as you felt. Was he going to leave now? Is that it? Is this closure? Is this how it finally ends? Can you accept that this was how it was supposed to turn out?

And with that last question ringing in your head, you knew. You were utterly and entirely unsatisfied with the way your story ended, so you chose to start it again. This time, you were not afraid, and you didn’t want to run away. With this sudden discharge of courage, you stepped towards him until there was no space left between you and Taehyung.

You leaned in close to his face and he was breathing just as heavily as you were. You felt both your hearts synchronized like everything was meant to feel that way.

“Can I kiss you?”

He flashed that same old boxy smile, and nodded eagerly.

And you kissed.

And you knew now, things have changed for the better.

#bts #bangtan #bts fanfic #BTS v #bts taehyung #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #taehyung x reader #taehyung fanfic #exes to lovers #bts tae x reader #taehyung exes to lovers #kim taehyung #bts angst #bts fluff #bts series

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geeky-diary · 4 years

Text

Valentine's Day Box

Happy Valentine’s Day! I offer you this fanfiction!

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As pedestrians walked across the Pont des Arts, two boxes sat on a bench in the middle of the bridge. The red box was for Ladybug, and the black one was for Chat Noir. For Valentine’s day, the citizens of Paris had decided to leave out boxes and fill them with cards to show their love for the two heroes. Honestly, Marinette thought it was a little much. Neither of them needed to receive a card to know how cherished they were. Yet, she had still gone to the boxes with a card in hand.

“I’m only here to show my appreciation to Chat Noir.” She whispered, “I’m not doing this because I have feelings for him.” She knew she was lying. At the very least, it was a half-lie. Ever since that day, when she battled Loveater and Miracle Queen, she had been trying to get over her feelings for Adrien. All she wanted was for him to be happy. If dating Kagami made him happy, then she didn’t want to interfere in their relationship. But it was hard moving on. Every time she saw him, She would force a smile while her chest painfully thumped. She would see aspects of him in other men.

It was mostly in Chat Noir. Initially, she believed the two boys couldn’t have been remotely similar. The more she observed, the less Adrien constricted her heart, she saw that they had quite a bit in common. They were both very playful, the same teasing and silly jokes. They were both naive, like little children experiencing everything for the first time. And they always had her back, her only allies when the world turned against her. Once she noticed those traits, a crush on the partner started to grow. She didn’t know if it was for him or if it was the aspects of Adrien she saw in him.

So she told herself that it was a half-lie. Because her muddled heart didn’t know what the truth was.

The bluenette shook her musings away before she completely fell into the dark abyss of her emotions. She marched up to the lone bench and slid her card into the black box. Having finished her task, she went back home. She had to get ready for her date this evening. One she was hoping would help resolve heer turmoil.

----------------------------------------------------

He knew this was a bad idea. Even Plagg had warned him against it. Yet he still stood on the Pont des Arts, a card clutched in his hand.

“You’re doing this for closure.” He said to himself, “So that you can finally move on.” But was that the truth?

Recently, Adrien had been trying to overcome his feelings for Ladybug. If she didn’t want to be in a relationship with him, then why should he continue to pursue one. He couldn’t bear the grief anymore.

However, in the time apart, he had only managed to confuse his own heart. The more he got to know Kagami, the more his fondness for her grew. He believed his affections for Kagami might have been as strong as those for Ladybug. But then there were times he could only see her as a friend. He still cared for her, but in the same way he did for Marinette.

Although, there were times when he thought Marinette could have been more than just a friend. That, maybe, his feelings for her were closer to what he felt for Ladybug. It might have been because the two were similar. They both had the same caring nature, always lending a hand to those who needed it most. Neither would bow down to those who wished to cause chaos, whether it be Lila or Hawkmoth. And, on the rarest of occasions, the same bravery that shined in his lady’s eyes could be found in Marinette’s as well.

Was it the same feeling, though? Was he just trying to find Ladybug in those he knew? Had he really come for closure? Or was it an excuse to lose himself in his adoration for Ladybug?

Whatever the truth was, Adrien couldn’t decipher it.

Taking a deep breath, he chose not to worry too much over his problems. Hee stepped towards the red box and pushed his card in. Then he walked off the bridge and got into his chauffeur’s car. This might be the night where all of his woes come to an end.

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As the city lights illuminated all of Paris, the Place des Vosges was shrouded in darkness. The only source of light came from the candles that Marinette brought. Each was placed on a corner of the blanket spread across the ground. A basket once full of food was now placed off to the side. She laid on the cover as Luka softly strummed his guitar. It was a lovely melody, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. She couldn’t have imagined a more romantic date than their night picnic. Everything was absolutely perfect.

So why did it all feel so wrong?

Every time the two hung out, Luka had managed to ease her mind. She had never been more relaxed than when she was with him. She didn’t feel the need to hide around him. That she could let all of her walls fade away and reveal her true self to him. So she had asked him out, hoping to clear her mind. She wanted to know if she could actually have a relationship with him. Maybe, he could help her move on from Adrien.

But as she listened to his music, she took notice of her heartbeat. It was steady, never once was there a pitch in speed. It was the same steadiness that would be accompanied by thoughts of her friends. It wasn’t the pounding she experienced whenever she would think of Adrien or even Chat Noir. All the times she interacted with Luka, her heart would stay the same pace. On some occasions, the speed would increase, but they were very brief. The infatuation she held for Luka couldn’t compare to those she held for Adrien.

With that, guilt clouded over the girl. Luka cared for her and seemed like he wanted to be more than just friends. And she had asked him out so that she could use him to get over Adrien. That wasn’t fair to him. He didn’t deserve to be treated that way. This date now had left a sour taste in her mouth, she couldn’t go on with it.

“Luka,” She murmured, catching the boys’ attention. “I’m sorry, but this isn’t right.”

He didn’t respond, with no signs of anger or sadness. As Marinette sat back up from the ground, she stared directly into his eyes.

“It’s just that, well, I feel like I haven’t been honest with you. I have feelings for someone else. But he seems to be interested in one of my friends, so I’ve been trying to let go of my feelings for him. And I’m using you as a way to move on and that just not rig-.”

“It’s fine, Marinette,” Luka finally spoke. He reached out and tenderly grabbed her hand, trying to comfort her from her negative thoughts. “I understand. It can be hard to get over someone you care for.”

She was so relieved by his words to know that he wasn’t upset by what she had done. She didn’t want to lose him as a friend. She thanked him with a hug, and he returned the gesture.

“Adrien is one lucky guy,”

“Why do you say that?” Marinette pulled back and gave him a curious look.

“Anyone would be lucky to have someone as amazing as you love them.” Then Luka got up and strolled out of the park, leaving one blushing Marinette behind.

----------------------------------------------------

Flower petals littered across the floor, while the restaurant had placed a vase with a single rose each of it’s tables. The lights were dimmed to make for a more romantic setting. Everyone was well dressed this evening, wearing only their most elegant clothes. Adrien table faced the window, able to see all the couples that walked past. He and Kagami had just finished their deserts, casual chatting until the check came. They had been having a great time together. Everything had gone smoothly.

As he stared at Kagami, though, all he could wonder was why it this whole night had felt off. He cared a lot about her. Be it her fierceness during battle or her blunt demeanor, there was not a side to her that he disliked. They both had so much in common, he found it easy to confide his grievances with her. They should have been perfect together.

And yet, all he could do was picture another girl on the other end of the table. One with the brightest bluebell eyes and who wore their hair in two pigtails. He could almost see her face, but the image was just out of reach. He was so pathetic, dreaming about Ladybug while on a date with another girl. He was hopeless. Maybe he just needed some time to truly get over the superheroine. What he did know was that he wasn’t ready to start dating. Then he couldn’t continue to lead Kagami on. Though he didn’t want to hurt her.

“Kagami,” He said, gazing down at his empty plate.

“Yes, Adrien.” She quickly replied.

“Listen, I want you to know that I like you a lot. But right now, I don’t think I’m ready to date someone else.”

She stayed silent, her stern exterior not giving away any emotions. The longer the silence held, the more nervous Adrien became.

“It’s just that, well, I still have some unresolved feelings for another girl and I don’t think it’s fair to ask you out and sit here thinking-”

“Did I ask out the wrong girl?” Kagami suddenly cut him off, predicting the end of his sentence. A small smile crossed face as she got out of her chair and walked to his side of the table. Grasping his shoulder, she leaned down to look him straight in the eye. “I don’t want you to have any moments you regret with me.”

She gave him a kiss on the cheek, her last words breathing across the surface. “I hope you’re able to satisfy Marinette. I’ll see you at fencing practice.” Then, she strode out of the restaurant, leaving behind a very confused Adrien.

It wasn’t long until the boy found himself back on the Pont des Arts. At that moment, though, he was no longer Adrien. He had transformed into Chat Noir, to make sure no one could identify him as he took his Valentine’s day box. He wasn’t the only one on that bridge, as he recognized the other figure.

“Ladybug?”

The girl turned around, her beautiful eyes shining under the lamplight. He really wished she wasn’t here. He had wanted to be alone for the rest of the night to ponder over his relationships. He didn’t need to get distracted over her radiance.

“Did you come here to pick up your box too?” She asked, appearing quite joyful to see him.

He nodded, stepping up to the bench where the box rested. Ladybug's box was overflowing with cards with bouquets of roses surrounding the exterior that one could barely tell that it was red. Meanwhile, his box was not empty, but nowhere near full either. He wasn’t surprised by the lack of cards. The people adored Ladybug more than they did him, so it only seemed fitting that she would get the most.

Ladybug must not have liked the number of gifts he received as she plucked a rose from one of her bouquets and handed it to him. While it was not meant to be a romantic gesture, he could help but think of it as so. He accepted the rose, his cheeks tinted red under his mask.

As she went back and tried to pick up her box, the current of wind flew by and carried one of her cards away. It was the card Chat Noir had given her. Before it could get too far away, she jumped up and grabbed it. Landing back on the bridge, she took her time reading the contents contained within. He had hoped she had liked what he had written. And apparently, she did like it as a blushed formed on her face.

“Sooo, what’s it say?” Chat Noir already knew what it said, but he didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to tease her.

“Nothing!” The superheroine replied defensively.

“Ah, come on. Not just anything can make you blush, Bugaboo. Whatever that card says must be very special.”

“I’m not going to tell you what’s written on this card unless you can tell me what’s on one of yours.”

“Alright.” His hand dove into the black box and pulled a single card. He glanced down at the name and was shocked, nearly dropping the card in the process. Knowing who wrote it, he carefully read the words.

Dear Chat Noir,

I know that most people see Ladybug as the most important hero in Paris, but she wouldn’t be able to save the day so many times without your help. No one is as confident or charming in battle as you are. I hope everyone will be able to see how important you indeed are.

Love, Marinette

He beamed at her words, wishing to thank her personally. He looked back towards Ladybug, her flushed face changed into one of dread.

“That must have been some letter.” She shyly uttered. Her usual confidence was gone, but he couldn’t figure out why.

“It’s just from a good friend.” He didn’t have the energy to lie tonight. “When we first met, I thought she hated me. But now, I think she’s just shy.”

“Adrien.” The words jolted through him like a lightning bolt. How could Ladybug know? There was no way she could have figured out his identity from a few words about the person who wrote the note. Unless she knew who wrote it. But he hadn’t shown her the name written. The only way she could know was if she wrote the note.

“Marinette.”

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This couldn’t be happening! There was no way that Chat Noir was really Adrien! She had to be wrong. But he had answered with her name, it had to be him. And now he knew it was her too.

As the two just stared at one another, shocked to silence by their own discoveries, Ladybug thought of the letter he had written.

Dear Ladybug,

Ever since you’ve come to Paris, you have continued to show the people your compassion and bravery every day. There is no one the people adore more than you. I hope you continue to shine for the world as the heroine we need.

Love, Adrien

She had started to develop feelings for Chat Noir, but now they were worthless as well. For he was Adrien, and she had wanted to move past him for the happiness of others.

She couldn’t believe it had been him the entire time and she hadn’t noticed. When she hadn’t been able to talk to him at school, he had still been by her side the whole time. He would flirt with her behind a mask, seeing her in a way that no one else could. She was embarrassed by the lack of foresight.

She almost ran off the bridge, until Chat Noir, or Adrien, started to laugh. It was loud and boisterous, a sound made after a funny story. Though, she wouldn’t have classified this as a funny story.

“Why are you laughing?”

“I’m sorry M’lady, it’s just you’re both so similar that I can’t believe I couldn’t connect the dots sooner.” His little fit slowly ceased as he reached out and held her hand with his own. “You’re both clever, fearless in the face of danger, and are kind to almost everyone you meet.”

“Oh, yeah,” She let out a little chuck herself. “Well, you’re both completely silly, naive, and always have the back for those you care for.”

The two teens giggled at their answers. Marinette was actually glad about who Chat Noir was. Even if it was dangerous to know each other’s identities, it could only make the two grow closer.

“So, which side of me do you like more Bugaboo? Because for me, I’m completely enamored with both of you.”

Her heart stilled at his words. In her joy, she had almost forgotten that there were people outside of their little moment. People that he cared for.

“That’s not true.” She solemnly responded.

“Aw, come on, mask or not you’re still the same person. Of course, I’d love both sides of you.”

“But what about Kagami?”

Finally, understand, Adrien let out a long breath as he tucked a small bit of hair behind her ear. His thumb tenderly swiped across her cheek as his gorgeous green eyes gazed into her own.

“Tonight, I told Kagami that I still had feelings for you. Ya’ know what she said, she hoped I could satisfy you.”

She was amazed by Kagami’s words. Before, she had been so resolute in not giving up Adrien to anyone, not even her. Why now did she suddenly change? Was it because of what he had said? Or was it because she valued their friendship so much that she was willing to let him go for her as well? Whatever the reason, she was glad to have been given Kagami’s blessing.

She leaned forward, their noses an inch apart with only a few more between their lips.

“Funny, Luka had said something similar tonight as well.”

“Oh yeah, and what was that?”

“That you were a lucky guy to have someone like me loving you.”

“Which side of me.” It didn’t matter how she answered, his next action would be the same. But, she gave him the most honest answer she could.

“Both.”

Instantly, their lips connected. It was a moment of pure bliss for the two, finally able to convey the feelings that had been bottled up for so long. Both tried to put as much passion into the kiss as they could, never wanting this moment to end.

Both of their nights had ended the same way. With peace of mind, finally able to know the truth behind their own feelings. On the Pont des Arts, their first Valentine’s day together came to an end.

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A/N: I know it’s really late by the time I’m posting this, but I was too busy with school work this week to write this sooner. Plus, I’ve been working on a different story for a while so this one was kinda last minute. This one was kinda difficult to write, mostly Luka and Kagami. I didn’t want them to be written OOC, but I don’t know if I accomplished that. I wanted to make them understanding and not villains because their not. Anyway, I hope y’all enjoyed this story!

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #Kagami Tsurugi #luka couffaine #ladybug #chat noir #adrinette #ladynoir #marichat #ladrien #slight angst #fluffy ending #ml season 3 #fanfic #fanfiction #my fanfiction #valentines day #identity reveal

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lvmosity · 4 years

Text

deadly secrets | draco malfoy [prologue]

pairing: draco malfoy x pureblood!slytherin!reader

genre: romance, angst (well an attempt)

word count: 2.2k

plot: some secrets are better off not being kept, but what if some secrets are better left unsaid? especially when they are deadly.

warnings: none as of now

a/n: this will possibly be a long fic, possibly one with 20 parts or so depending on how much i write in one part. the idea i have for this story is just something that popped up in my head whilst also reading draco fics lmao; i guess i got inspired and created my own ideas. let’s just hope i’m decent enough at writing it out, i haven’t wrote in years! so yeah, i’ll be rusty for the first few chapters so have faith in me readers! i hope it’s interesting enough for you to stay till the end hehe

please read!: this story will be set at chamber of secrets and as it progresses, the characters will age and so on, meaning we’re following the saga except i add my own twist into it. so in this chapter, the characters will be 12. sadly, draco won’t be mentioned yet but will appear in the next chapter. anyhoo stay tuned ♡

It was early in the morning that you had arrived at Kings Cross Station with your childhood best friend, Hermione, along with her parents which were twenty minutes away from your neighbourhood. Hermione was set to leave today to head back to ‘boarding school’ apparently, at least that’s what she told you a few months ago. She struck you with the news of her sudden change to a new school. A boarding school really? Out of all the local schools where some are known to be ‘the best to ensure a child’s successful future’ she chose a boring, drabby school that lies in a location of god-knows-where and goes by the name of ‘hoggywart’ or something weird.

You vividly remember her rushing into class squealing and grabbed you by the shoulders, jumping up and down. Being startled and slightly grumpy seeing someone so energetic on an early Monday morning, you calmed her down so you could find out what bizarre breakfast she had that made her so crazy. Hermione squeals once more before pulling out a thick, yellow-tainted letter out of her coat pocket. “I’m going to a new school!” you remember feeling so devastated hearing those words as it wasn’t what you were expecting to hear.

You wished for the last few months of your final year at primary school to be full of joy, excitement, adventure and other happy words that can be associated with it before you move up to your first year of secondary school. Unfortunately, it was going to be different once Hermione told you she was moving.

However, that wasn’t the only irritating part as it was the fact that she left you all alone to attend the school you both promised to go and graduate together. You had to force yourself to interact with others and make new friends when you started in your new school the last September.

Nevertheless, during the twenty-minute car ride to the station, you and Hermione had closely bonded for old times sake and it made you realise how lonely it was without her since she switched to a new school. You haven’t been in contact with her since then due to the multiple failed attempts at contacting her by sending letters that you concluded your longterm friendship was over as Hermione wasn’t sending letters back.

That was until she came back for the holidays and knocked on your doorstep. once you opened it, Hermione teared up at the sight of you and whined at you “Why didn’t you try to contact me?”

After explaining what had happened, the sadness faded from her face as she burst out of laughter and responded “You were supposed to owl me silly!” of course, when you heard her statement, you gave a confused look. You weren’t sure if she meant a real live animal was to be sent to her or what but you shrugged it off and stepped aside to let her inside your house so you both could catch up on lost time.

‘It probably was another saying for ‘mail me’ that she took up in her school.’ assuring yourself.

Throughout the winter holidays, she started saying phrases and words such as “Merlin!” or that she would pass up on hanging out because she had to do some ‘reading up on Herbology’. The more you spent time with her, the more you realised this girl was talking absolute nonsense and something was off about her. You figured it would be the school she was attending that caused her abnormal behaviour. But being the nice friend that you are, you offending her was the last thing you’d do so you didn’t dare try to bring it up.

but the day that Hermione was set to leave and board the train back to her school, was the day your suspicions of her became true.

●●●

You had witnessed something horrific, something that would possibly haunt you for the rest of your life. Witnessing Hermione run full speed with the cart full of her suitcases towards the pillar and had completely morphed into it was an image you’ll never get out of your head.

It’s understandable when people say children have such creative minds with the sorts they come up with for entertainment, but will people really believe a twelve-year-old who kept trying to explain that she had seen her best friend become one with a brick wall? Yeah, they’d think it was best to leave the child alone.

Yet surprisingly, your parents reacted differently. Your parents instantly believed you and begged you to share any evidence that made you come up with a bold statement. You had brought up the multiple scenarios that have occurred in the past; her abnormal behaviour, the words and phrases she’d spill out and the most bizarre one being you seeing Hermione hold a stick and doing motions with it the other day. Thus with that, your parents realised that everything was coming together.

“Y/N, Hermione’s a witch.”

A witch? Surely your parents are the crazy ones now. You can tell the differences between fact and false and witches existing on earth was obviously not true.

“What--”

“Listen to me dear, your best friend is a witch and what you have explained to us is true about Hermione.” Your mother kneels, putting both of her hands on your shoulders and stares deep into your eyes. You were starting to feel uncomfortable under her stare as well as feeling intimidated by the tension filling the atmosphere. You gulped.

“How do you know if it’s the truth mum?”

Your mother bites her lips, turning her head to the side to look at your father. both of them look unsure on how to respond but then you noticed it was like they were more scared to do so. Your father gives a shaky sigh and it was his turn to kneel and make you face him.

“Your mother and I... we’re also the same...”

Silence fills the room once again, not one daring to speak up, it was just multiple serious looks being exchanged between the family. That is until:

“...and so are you Y/N.”

You won’t lie and say it wasn’t terrifying hearing your own heartbeat fast. It was basically the only thing you could hear in the room due to how deadly quiet it was after what your father had declared to you. The words continued to echo throughout your ears. All your life you have been living like a normal child, your childhood being the most enjoyable experience as you were the only child in your family. Up until now, your parents have spoilt you with so much care, love and attention that you didn’t care for another younger or older sibling. Instead, you considered Hermione as your only sister more than best friends as you both grew up together.

Unfortunately, that has quickly come to a halt once you realised you were living your life as a lie. You’re not a normal girl anymore and your life was going to change from now on.

“What do you mean I’m the same? That can’t be true, I’m not like Hermione!” you yelled, pushing your mother’s hands away and stepped back. “Don’t lie to me!” you were experiencing variations of emotions at this moment, you weren’t sure if you should feel angry or upset, or possibly a hint of happiness that you and Hermione are similar?

Your mother sighed, standing up and dusted the dirt off her pants, your father also following her actions. Both of them took a seat at the dining table, facing you.

“It’s a secret we’ve been keeping from you since you were born,” your mother revealed. You slowly make your way towards the table to also take a seat in front of them. You had to know the reason as to why you have only just been told today. “You was born as a pureblood witch, your father and I share the same blood.”

“A pureblood?”

“It means every one of your descendant family members was born as wizards and witches, not one is a muggle.” your father added onto your mother’s explanation. “Muggles are non-wizard people. We made you pretend to live as one--”

“And why did you? Do you realise all this time I’ve been living my life as a lie and that I actually have something unique in me? Do you realise I’ve been seeing my best friend as a freak when I’m also the same? Do you--”

Your father slammed his hands on to the table, immediately shutting you up.“ENOUGH!” he roared, your mother jumped as her eyes widened in shock. “There’s a reason why we kept this a secret from you Y/N and you should be thankful that we did.”

“Thankful? for what exactly?” You scoffed earning a stern look from your mother. Sighing, your father sits back down as your mother strokes his arm in an attempt to calm him down. You figured you weren’t going to get an answer from your parents soon as the both of them stayed silent once more. Bowing your head down in defeat, you asked one more question in hopes that this will be answered but it was overclouded by a higher percentage of doubt.

“Why did you keep it as a secret?” you whispered. Still looking down, you fidgeted with your hands nervous for what is about to come.

"It’s best that you don’t know Y/N... maybe when the time is right, you’ll soon find out... and we hope it will be from us.” your father forces a small smile, his eyes clouded with guilt and sadness as he’s forced to make up an excuse and hopes you will accept it as an answer and move on. You slowly nodded and give up on asking more questions as it will only end up in more lies and excuses.

But what will it mean for you from now on? Now that you discovered your true blood and the powerful abilities you hold as a witch – well not powerful yet as you’re a novice in the magical world – will your life continue to be the same or will it change for the better or the worse?

Whilst your mind was zooming with thoughts and questions, you didn’t seem to notice that your parents were heavily discussing something. Pulling out of your thoughts, you could see them facing you with a serious look.

“Y/N, your father and I have been discussing your future...” your mother said, one of her hands slowly moving to lie on top of her husband’s hands. Giving a short but warm smile, she continues her sentence, “and we both decided to let you attend Hermione's school.”

Eyes widening, you felt an enormous surge of happiness rushing inside you. your face beamed with excitement as you jumped out of your seat and rushed to the other side of the table to hug your parents. “Oh thank you, thank you!” your parents laughed in response and you pulled away to shower them with more gratefulness.

“But promise us one thing dear...please stay safe,” your mother pleaded with you, turning her head to stare at you with a slightly distressed look but also supporting a small smile. anticipating for an answer, your father added onto her words, “Please...we beg of you.”

Holding both of their hands, you smiled.

“Always.”

●●●

The next morning arrived and you couldn’t wait to start a new day, not as a normal twelve-year-old who wore girly pyjamas to bed, but as a witch. Yes, you were finally going to live your life as one. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t going to be so bad and weird like you initially thought when you discovered the truth for the first time. Maybe learning spells and wearing a pointy, black hat like the ones you read in books might not be bad too.

You skipped your way to the dining room to eat breakfast, sitting in your usual seat once you entered the room and waited for your mother to bring the food around. Except your parents were already seated and there were no plates and cutlery set on the table.

Instead, a mysterious, very thick and old looking letter laid in front of them. wait–that’s the same letter you saw in hermione’s hands on that very day she told you she was moving to a new school.

“Is that...”

Your parents nodded, your father pushing the letter towards you while you strode over to rip it open.

You pulled the piece of paper out and to your surprise; it wasn’t like any normal letters you see in your father’s hands. Instead of the usual white paper, this one appeared to look and feel old and roughed up like it was soaked in coffee for a long time. Your eyes landed on the first few sentences before seeing your very own name addressed on it, seeing it made your heart skipped a beat. however, the next sentence was what really got you breathless:

‘We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.’

●●●

final a/n: please let me know what you think of it so far! i’m open to any feedback and constructive criticisms as well as any mistakes on my writing. i’m also open to any questions you have that might have confused you or needed more explanation on. thank you!

edited 16.02: fixed writing errors! hopefully all of them hehe

#draco #draco malfoy #draco x reader #draco x you #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x you #draco fanfic #draco imagine #draco scenario #harry potter #harry potter fanfic

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theroseofdiane · 3 years

Text

A Story of La Lechuza: A Demon in the Night

The clock strikes two. Two in the morning, that is. I lay nuzzled up against the glowing screen accompanying me in my bed. Oh, the love I feel! Not for the electronic, but the voice that emits from it. Some 900 miles away, a man who I adore yet have never met speaks to me through the speakers of my cellular device. This is another one of our nightly chats before falling into slumber, comforted by the connection revolution has provided us through our phones. Tonight our discussion took a turn from our routine teasing towards eeriness. Somehow, it evades me now, we began talking of mythical nonsense that instilled fear in me that evening. He told me the Texan tale of the La Lechuza, an owl with the face of a witch. I won’t enlighten you on its contents. Needless to say, after a quick Google search, I was quite frightened. The superstitious soul that I am, it took me a bit to calm down. I kept feverishly glancing out the window as the night progressed, and my Texan lover and I continued to converse. Then, I heard a loud noise.

“Elario!” I cried, “The driveway alarm went off.” Laughter from the other end.

“Calm down.” He tells me, without any soothing words to back up his instruction. Agitated, I decide to stand watch at the window to see if any vehicle traversed up the hill into my line of sight.

Reader, let me explain. I live on the border of Indiana and Ohio, where the valleys rise the highest. The hill I am situated on entails poor cell service, lack of neighbors, and much wilderness on all sides. A loud “Beep!” typically announces the sound of a vehicle beginning the trek up our long, windy driveway. After talk of demons at nearly three in the morning, and a stranger encroaching on my sleeping family; I was panicked. As I stood at the window still, no headlights shone through the wood. No sound of engine broke the silence--just Elario’s faint voice asking of my whereabouts. “Hold on!” I would say to him, lingering at the window. With a sigh and shake of the head towards my ludicrousness, I crept back into my now cold blankets and curled around the warmth of my phone. After ridding my thoughts of demons and murderers, I listened to the calming tones of Elario’s breath and soon fell into slumber.

The next night, I was again on the phone with Elario, the boy I love yet have never met. Call me naive, reader, I don’t mind. But tell me, what is the harm of enjoying the virtual company of this stranger? I see none, besides the implications of sharing personal information, which I say in that case, beware! Well, tonight as we chatted, the La Lechuza was brought up once more. Yet, this time I wasn’t nearly as afraid. I mentioned that I am superstitious, but I forgot to add that I am also of the faith. Some prayers entailed last evenings terrors, and I called on the help of God to get me through the night. This evening Elario and I are discussing the trials of our day, and suddenly it has gotten very late in the evening once again. I lay there, musing over my love, when suddenly an unfamiliar noise pierces the air. I listen, just to be sure I heard right.

“Hoot, hoot.”

I furrowed my brows, straining my neck to lift an ear.

“Hoot, hoot.”

I could hardly believe what I heard! Was this she, the evil Lechuza, right outside my window? I had never heard the hoot of an owl in the flesh before this moment!

“Elario!” I exclaimed, “I hear the hoot of an owl just outside.” Yet again, he laughs.

“No way,” he responds, and listens for himself. Sure enough, the hooting continues.

Yet this time, it seemed as if God prevailed. I felt no fear, simply wonder. I had experienced spiritual warfare in my life, but never now had it presented itself so plainly. Here, now, the devil was preying on me and my child-like fears. So blatantly was he seen, so clearly could I discern the cause, and now he became a laughing stock between the two of us.

“I cannot believe this!” I laughed, and fell asleep soon after, untroubled.

The next night, Elario and I were, of course, conversing on the phone. I prepared for bed, and told Eli to quiet himself as to not wake my sleeping family while I made my way upstairs towards my room. I settled into bed, getting into a comfortable position to spend the next few hours being kept awake by Elario and his teasing. Yet the moment I looked towards the screen, a big black box appeared. It was embossed, “CALL FAILED”. Confused, I attempted to call him once more. And again. Then one more time... but to no avail. I checked my internet, and my connection was stagnant. How odd was this! As soon as I nestled into my bed, the call gave out and my cellular connection dissipated. Oh, the tribulations of relying on electronics! However, the allegoric personage that I am, I knew this could be of no coincidence. I assumed such could only be the interference of God, and accepted it as such. That night Elario and I did not stay on the phone, and I communicated via text that things should continue on that way. Crestfallen and agitated, he sent me a series of conflicting texts voicing his emotions, which I soon silenced in order to fall asleep. Yet sleep did not come. I tossed and turned restlessly in my bed, seeking every angle I could lay to invoke sleep--but to no avail. Soon, the inklings of paranoia began seeping in. The feeling of being watched--I felt as if spirits were traversing outside my house, trying to find a spiritual door that could grant them access. But there was one spirit I felt who had already infiltrated. I felt as if something paced outside my very door, a creature waiting to be granted entry by a barrier that anxiety would soon destroy. I imagined a lion waiting to come and feed on my carcass, which, mind you--is often how the devil is depicted. Rallying my wits, I crept out of bed to use the restroom. And there, sitting on the toilet, I looked up to the heavens and began to pray.

“Heavenly Father,” I said, in a mere whisper, “please be with me tonight...” And from there I began forming every kind of defense I could think. Giant warring angels, a wall of thorns surrounding my property (which, had been soaked with the blood of the lamb), and none other but the Holy Spirit’s protection in my room. As I said all of this, I shook violently. As to why I trembled so, I knew not. But once I finished my prayer, the shaking ceased. Peace overcame me. Suddenly, all was still. I sensed no lion traversing my halls. I felt no lingering eyes peering through the window, no demonic whisper startling the air. I crept back into bed, and was soon able to sleep with ease.

The next morning I awoke to a series of texts from Elario. First anger, then want. Then, he informed me that the broken connection was not because it was God’s will, but because it was the plot of the devil to separate two God-loving individuals. I pondered the thought, and believed it must be true. Why would God bring us into each others lives, two people some 900 miles away, only to separate us by severing a phone call? We continued our nightly calls since, and still do.

Reader, this experience I endured may seem silly, and perhaps it is. I must admit, my fears are often irrational. But this is a mere example of the plots of the devil. I recently established my faith with God, and prior to this monumental change in my life, he would terrify me daily, and without mercy. He used to plague my life, and now he tries to scare me with owls and mythical tales since he knows no other way to attack me. He preys now on any moment of weakness he can use to his advantage. But this is simply to remind you, reader, that he is always watching and looking for a moment of infirmity. Do not be like I, and become unreasonably fearful. Spiritual warfare exists; trust in God.

#christian #religion #spiritualwarfare #prayer #power #lesson #tale #wisdom #short story #spiritual warfare #shortstory #prayer warrior

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baratheonstarks · 5 years

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the sweetest storm

ao3 link prompt: marry me now (axg week 2019) summary: five years after sailing west of westeros, arya finds herself in storm’s end, with an important question to ask.

It had been five years since she left Westeros. Five years since she slayed the Night King, since Jon was banished beyond the wall, since her brother was elected King of the Six Kingdoms and her sister crowned Queen in the North.

She’d seen sights beyond her wildest dreams, met people unlike anyone she’d ever met before, experienced things she never even knew existed. Now, the world seemed so much bigger than before. No longer was she confined by the simplistic views of the Lords and Ladies of Westeros. No longer was she stuck playing their silly little games, or living by the standards they’d set, or fighting for her life at every turn.

It was different now, the world Arya Stark lived in. She had her own form of power, her own set of rules and her own destiny to fulfill. Her life was her own and nobody could take that from her.

Five years of discovering the world and discovering herself as a result. She remembered who she was before - before her father and her mother were taken from her, before the Night came to Winterfell, and the dragons came to King’s Landing. She knew who she was now and who she wanted to be another five years from now. She felt like she’d found her peace, finally. As far as she knew, Westeros had found peace too.

Now, she was finally on her way back home.

It was in Essos, where she was planning on sailing back to King’s Landing, when something changed. It was the plan she informed Sansa of in the last raven she’d sent just a day ago. But then she heard of a ship bound for the Stormlands. She couldn’t ignore the way her heart almost stopped in her chest when she realised how close she was to him.

The Stark vessel headed for King’s Landing as planned. Arya wasn’t on board.

Storm’s End earned its’ reputation.

When she arrived, the hail was falling harshly from the sky, the strong wind inescapable, and the thunder deafening.

Arya sought shelter at the first inn she stumbled across.

She knew she could go straight to him, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t admit it, not even to herself, probably never to him, but she was scared of what she would find. It had been so long since she last saw him. Would he even care to see her?

Of course he will, she thought to herself. He’d never turn you away.

More than anything, she just wanted to know that he was alright. The last time they properly spoke, he’d confessed his love for her and asked her to be his wife. She broke his heart in two that day. When they next saw each other at King’s Landing, it was at the council meeting. They didn’t get a chance to speak then and neither of them fought to initiate a conversation before they went their separate ways.

They never said goodbye.

Arya had spent many lonely nights wondering if he regretted that as much as she did.

She was tucked away in the corner of the inn, sipping on her ale, when her attention was drawn to two young women approaching the table opposite her.

“I don’t know whether I believe it,” one of the girls said as she sat. She didn’t appear much younger than Arya herself, but she was much taller with her golden hair in a braid that fell down her back. Her friend seemed a bit younger again, with her slightly darker hair styled the same way. From their almost identical attire, Arya immediately assumed they were tavern girls or maids.

“I didn’t at first - you know they say he’s refused to marry ever since he became a Lord,” the other girl responded. “This Lady of his must be a true beauty to change his mind.”

“So you think it’s true then?”

“Some of the girls were cleaning in the dining hall this morning,” the girl nodded. “Heard his advisors organising the arrival of Lord Baratheon’s betrothed.”

Arya’s heart sunk. He was… he was getting married. Gendry was getting married.

It wasn’t as if there was another Lord Baratheon for it to be. He was the only one now, the head of his house, the Lord Paramount of the Stormlands.

Of course he would get married; it had been five years since their last meeting, she had been a fool to think…

She didn’t know what she had thought. She didn’t know why she had come here to him instead of back to her family. She suddenly felt very, very stupid. This wasn’t some silly song Sansa would sing as a child, still an innocent so hopeful of pure true love.

This was the real world.

He was a Lord now and a Lord needed heirs. If anything, the fact it had taken this long for a betrothal should have been surprising.

She didn’t stick around for the rest of the conversation, instead heading up to her room for the night.

Even as she lay in bed hours later, she couldn’t stop thinking about what to do. Now, she really wasn’t sure if he would want to see her. He’d obviously moved on and perhaps it was selfish of her to come back into his life like this. Perhaps seeing her again would complicate his life in a way he didn’t deserve to have it complicated.

She had told him all those years ago that any Lady would be lucky to have him, so how could she possibly be angry with him for doing as she had told him to?

But there was still a part of her that needed to see him. Needed to know that he was happy and well and safe.

Was he a good Lord? Did the people like him? Did he have the right advisors surrounding him? Had there been threats from those who may not have been too pleased about a low-born bastard being named their new Lord liege?

She’d always managed to push those thoughts away during her travels, however it was impossible to do so now she knew how near he was. Eventually, somehow, she managed to exhaust herself enough to drift off to sleep.

It was barely past sunrise the next morning when she arrived at the gates of Storm’s End. The tall tower caught her eye immediately and she found herself quietly impressed with the fortress before her. To think of Gendry ruling land like this was quite funny - she could only wish she’d been there to see his face when he himself had first seen his castle.

She saw a few guards outside the castle gates, only one of them noticing her as she slowly approached on horseback. It would have been easy for her to sneak it without anyone at all noticing, but she wanted to at least try and do this the proper way for Gendry’s sake. So, she’d decided to play nice and put his guards to the test. Her first test of how safe he was here.

“Can I help you there, girl?” One of the guards questioned as he stepped forward, eyebrow raised. His tone was as condescending as she’d expected it to be.

“I’m here to see Lord Baratheon,” she replied, her face and voice void of any emotion or hint of her intentions. The men simply laughed arrogantly.

“Lord Baratheon is busy,” another of the men practically spat at her.

“He’ll stop being busy when you tell him I’m here,” she smiled in mock politeness. It was amusing to her, how these men wouldn’t take her seriously. She could kill them all in seconds and they were talking down to her as if she was nothing.

“And who are you, hm?” The first guard spoke up again. “Lord Gendry is a very busy man. He doesn’t have time for common whores trying their luck, so try somewhere else.”

“Luckily for you, I’m feeling kind today,” Arya smiled again. “So, I’ll allow you a few hours to decide how you’ll explain this conversation to your Lord before I rip your tongue from your mouth.”

Without another word, she turned on her horse and rode away.

Of course, she managed to sneak past the very same guards just minutes later. It was no fun, far too easy. Why did nobody know how to get decent bloody guards?

Once she was within the castle grounds, she spent some time just observing the smallfolk working there. They all seemed busy, most of them looked healthy, and there didn’t seem to be any sort of fear or tension. It seemed a fairly happy place actually - and Arya knew how the Lord could affect his people. These people didn’t seem to live in fear, which meant they didn’t fear him, but they way they worked gave Arya the impression that they respected his authority.

It made Arya genuinely smile.

She noticed some children happily running around the grounds and couldn’t help but the pang in her chest as she was reminded of her own childhood. The Starks were happy like this once, in fact this place reminded her a lot of the Winterfell she grew up in.

She wondered what Winterfell was like now and her heart ached for her home. She would have to write to her sister as soon as she could.

It was a familiar voice that brought her back to where she was - Ser Davos. Arya remembered him from the Battle of Winterfell; he was a trusted advisor of Jon’s and she knew he’d helped Gendry more than a few times, so it was no surprise to see him here. He was talking to one of the stupid bloody guards.

“And this common girl, what did she look like?” Ser Davos asked. Arya knew he was a fairly clever man and he would probably remember what she looked like - even if the image of her in his head was surrounded in darkness and flames and the dead.

“Small thing, dark hair,” the guard said. “Threatened to rip out tongues.”

“Where did she go?”

“Just rode off the way she came,” the guard shrugged.

“Get back to the gates - if the girl returns, you let her in and send for me immediately. You understand?”

Arya was already halfway up the tower’s grand staircase before they’d even finished their conversation. She didn’t know where he could be, but she guessed his chambers would be a fairly good place to start at this early hour.

Nobody noticed her as she followed some servant girls, who had handfuls of bed linen and towels. It didn’t take her long to reach the Lord’s chambers, which were situated almost right at the top of the tower.

The servant girl knocked lightly on the door but got no response, so let herself in. The girl had only been in there a few minutes - lighting the fire and running a bath for her Lord, Arya assumed - when Arya heard his voice.

For the first time in five years, she heard Gendry’s voice. And it was utterly pathetic how happy it made her.

He was talking to the maid - of course he’d be the kind of Lord to make polite small talk as someone ran his bath, Arya thought. The young girl appeared at the door again a few minutes later, a massive grin on her face and a rosy blush across her cheeks.

Arya had a feeling the girl didn’t mind running her Lord’s morning baths.

Once the girl was gone, Arya stepped forward to open the door and let it shut loudly enough behind her so that he would hear it.

“Alaynna?” His voice called as he came around the corner. Arya had to hold back a smirk as he froze in his step.

He looked at her as if he’d seen a ghost. Arya let her eyes fall over him; he looked different. His hair had grown out again, like it had been when they’d first met all those years ago, but tidier now. A bit more styled and proper.

He looked cleaner too, in comparison to how his skin used to be covered in soot and dirt almost permanently. He didn’t have a shirt on and his top half was almost exactly how she remembered from their night together.

“Arya,” he eventually managed to breath her name after a few seconds of silence. “What are you...How are you here?”

“Well, your guards are complete idiots so it wasn’t difficult,” she smirked, knowing full well what he meant. Gods, she’d missed him more than she thought.

“That’s not what I meant,” Gendry shook his head, finally walking towards her as if her speaking had made him realise she was actually there. “It’s been years since we last met and now you’re standing in my chambers as if it’s only been days.”

“Is that a problem?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No, of course not,” Gendry laughed. “Are you well?”

“Yes,” Arya responded. “I just wanted to see you.”

“Really?” His eyes practically lit up, the exact way they had when he’d asked her to be his wife. His eyes hadn’t changed at all and she could still read him like a book. “I’m so glad. Gods, Arya, I’m so glad you’re here.”

Arya smiled, closing the gap between them a bit more. “I wasn’t sure you would want to speak to me. After everything that happened-”

“It doesn't matter,” Gendry interrupted her, reaching for her glove-covered hands. “All that matters is that you’re here. You’re actually here."

“I’m here,” she repeated his words with a grin.

They stood so close together now and all she wanted to do was kiss him, just like she had the night of the battle. She wanted to be with him again, to hold him, taste him, feel him. She wanted him and she had forgotten just how much.

But that want was impossible to ignore now, the way he was looking at her as if this moment with her was all he’d been waiting for the past five years. She was completely lost in his eyes, as blue as the sky and as deep as the ocean.

Then the door swung open.

“Oh - forgive me, my Lord. Lady Arya.”

They pulled away from each other almost instantly as Davos entered. Gendry moved to his bed to quickly put on a shirt and Arya spun round to face Davos with a polite smile.

“Ser Davos,” Arya greeted the older man.

“Apologies for the intrusion, which I can see is all a bit unnecessary now,” Davos explained.

“How do you mean?” Gendry asked.

“Well, I was going to tell you of my suspicions that a particular Stark was sneaking around the castle grounds. You appear to already be aware of that, lad.”

He had some things to tend to throughout the morning, despite his insistence that he could cancel, he was obviously a good Lord and she convinced him to carry on with his duties.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she’d shrugged nonchalantly, but he didn’t look at all convinced.“I promise.”

She watched him all morning, going about his work as if he’d been doing it his whole life. She could barely believe this was the same man she’d travelled the Riverlands with all that time ago, but that felt like a different life now.

He was the same man though, he was still Gendry. The way he’d look at her when important men were talking to him, the way his lips quirked as he tried to stop himself from smiling when he realised she was looking back.

“You like it here?” She asked him as he let her into his solar, letting her eyes gaze around the room. Like most of the castle, it was decked out in the Baratheon house colours, black with flashes of gold and carvings of stags.

“I’m used to it now,” he shrugged, the softest smile on his face telling her that he wasn’t always so used to it.

She turned her back to him and her eyes fell to the table, which was covered in books and scrolls. “Do I get to meet her?”

“Who?”

“Your bride,” she said, gliding her hands over one of the scrolls. It was only his name signed on the bottom of the page that made her realise it was his handwriting - tidy, and proper, and so unlike him.

“My what!?” His voice was laced with shock, and when she turned back around, the horrified look on his face only matched. Did he not want her to know he was to have a wife?

“You don’t have to pretend. I know about the betrothal,” She smiled, masking the selfish sadness she felt rising again at the thought of him with another. “I’m happy for you, truly.”

“Betrothal,” he dragged the word out, his eyebrows furrowed together in that confused frown she had missed so dearly. “What betrothal?”

“Yours.”

“Arya, I’m not betrothed.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but her breath got stuck in her throat - she knew liars. He wasn’t one. “You’re not?”

“No, absolutely not,” He let out a laugh, shaking his head as he stepped closer to her. “Why would you think that?”

“I-” she looked down, scolding herself for jumping to conclusions. “I overheard some girls talking at the inn. Guess they were mistaken.”

“I’m an unmarried Lord,” He rolled his eyes, as it was obvious it wasn’t the first time he’d had to correct someone about his marital status. “People have been talking since the day I got here.”

She frowned. He’d been a Lord for years, he’d been here for years. He must have had plenty of offers. “It’s been five years.”

“So?”

“So why haven’t you married?”

“Because the only woman I’ve ever wanted to marry pissed off to the middle of nowhere.”

His words were gentle, his voice barely above a whisper. She wasn’t sure when he’d moved so close to her, but she could feel his breath against her skin.

“Gendry, I-”

“I love you. Nothing’s changed. I love you.”

Arya didn’t hesitate then, reaching up to cup his face and pull him towards her, the way she had done all those years ago. She pressed her lips to his, her heart skipping a beat as she felt his arms snake around her waist.

If there had been anything left unsaid between them - in the Riverlands, at Winterfell, around the Dragonpit - it was said with the kiss. He was right, nothing had changed, not really.

No matter how long they had been apart, it was always the same. They always knew. She thought perhaps it was time for her to tell him so.

“I love you too. Always have.”

He leaned down and recaptured her lips again and Arya felt as though her heart was about to burst, it was beating so hard against her chest.

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”

“I think I have some idea actually,” she bit her lip, and let her eyes flutter closed as he loving pressed his forehead against hers. It felt so right, the way he held her in his arms. “I regretted it, how we left things between us. I regretted not saying goodbye to you.”

“None of that matters now.”

“You weren’t angry with me?” She asked as her hands slid up from his arms to rest against his shoulders.

“Angry with you?” He raised his eyebrows in surprise, not saying anything else for a moment but he laughed. “Thought I was meant to be the stupid one here, my Lady.”

My lady. He really was a proper Lord now, she thought.

“I’m serious, my Lord,” she mocked, letting her lips curl into a teasing smirk.

“Don’t call me that," he smirked. “I could never be angry with you,” he breathed against her neck, though Arya was far too distracted by the feeling to respond. “It was selfish of me to ask you to marry me like that.”

“It wasn’t selfish.”

Arya forced herself to pull back from his peppered kisses, giving him a tiny shove, and he moved to look at her curiously.

"It was too soon, you weren’t ready then,” Gendry shook his head, and she didn’t necessarily disagree.

“Well if the offer still stands, I’d quite like it if you would marry me now.”

He just stared at her for a moment, seemingly in shock, as if her words weren’t quite reaching his brain. She had to stop herself from laughing, biting down on her lip.

“So, will you marry me?”

She assumed his answer was a yes, judging by how quickly she found herself sat atop the table, all those important scrolls and old books pushed to the solar floor; her legs hooked around his waist as he kissed her with more love and passion than she ever thought possible.

Arya found it quite amusing to think those serving girls at the Inn had technically been right, after all; Lord Baratheon’s betrothed had arrived in Storm’s End. Though, she was his betrothed for just a week before they stood in the Godswood to become husband and wife.

Talk of the first Baratheon - and Stark, they would both point out every time - heir in years came just a month later and those rumours were to be believed. Less than a year into the marriage, as thunder and lighting shook Storm’s End, Arya and Gendry could hear nothing but the piercing cries of their first daughter. The sweetest storm there ever was.

#gendrya #gendrya positivity #gendrya fic #arya x gendry #axgweek #my writing #super self indulgent tbh #but i'll give my kids the happy ending they deserved

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johnnyprofane1 · 4 years

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How to Get Diagnosed #ActuallyAutistic in Just 26 Years

First off, this is not a poor-me story.This is a journey to #AutisticJoy story…

I’m a singer/songwriter, pretend Rock Star with a decent following… after at least 5 other careers.

I’m also #ActuallyAutistic. Or my fave hashtag… #AutisticAF.

Two most frequent private-message questions I get?

Not about lyrics, my guitar playing, or even my mohawk…

1. Could I be autistic?

2. Should I get a diagnosis?

Well, here’s my way-long, way-detailed, way genuinely autistic answer…

I was born in 1953. Long before autism or Asperger’s were widely discussed in medicine or popular culture. More or less, just beginning in the 70s.

At least by 1957, at 4, I knew I was “different.” Family and neighbor kids told me so.

A lot.

In kindergarten, a teacher reported I was unusually creative, but “stayed to myself.” After 2nd grade intelligence testing, I was tagged “gifted.”

But my behavior was “odd.” Solitary. Formal in speech, a know-it-all. “Insensitive to context,” liked talking and playing in class. “Inattentive” to lessons.

I had one close friend at a time… In fact, only one I remember in all of primary school. In 4th & 5th grade. Jeff.

Wonder what he’s been up to the last 56 years…

My intelligence: uneven. My reading skills were off the chart, but verbal learning, most of education at the time, was difficult for me. Math tested high, but I was so impulsive on quizzes, I needed remedial classes.

Tests were a silly game to me. It was fun to be the first-one-done. I couldn’t have cared less about grades. I’m a process-, not results-oriented guy.

And most glaring? I was disliked, even hated, by schoolmates, cousins, perhaps even parents.

I was a target for mockery, hate speech, bullying, physical and sexual attack, and later molestation. And universal disappointment: “You’re not living up to your potential.”

A history of dozens of jobs, dozens of relocations, lost years in a cult, lost years in badly matched relationships…

And honestly? A history of causing great pain to others. Inadvertently perhaps, but not always. Then circling back to the couple of decades in what most would label a “cult…”

Something was just not right with this picture.

I first sought diagnosis at 17 following suicide attempt #1 in 1970. The experience was horrific.

I felt badgered by the therapist, “I know you have a secret you want to tell me.” I wanted so badly to please her. But had no idea what I was feeling, much less why.

As still happens under great stress, I temporarily lost language ability. I became mute. Which has several times been interpreted as “resistance,” “guardedness,” or even “passive aggression” by “helping” professionals.

I didn’t try therapy again until my first year in grad school, 1980. The psychiatrist summarily dismissed me without a plan when I didn’t respond to imipramine (an anti-depressant)– possibly I pissed him off. I seem to have a talent for stepping on therapist toes.

But in 1991, I entered the mental health system and essentially never left. Every new psychiatrist, psychologist, therapeutic social worker confidently diagnosed me… with something entirely different.

Between 1991 and 2016, I was diagnosed with adjustment disorder, major depression, type II Bipolarity, rapid cycling bipolarity, malingering, borderline personality disorder, dissociative disorder NOS (including discussion of multiplicity), PTSD….

There have been additional discussions of various anxiety disorders (especially social anxiety), attention deficit, schizophrenia, TIAs, stroke damage…

Pretty sure I’m leaving a few out.

With each new diagnosis, each and every professional confidently told me he or she had nailed it.

This time…

And they could help.

I was medicated accordingly with imipramine, Prozac and all the modern SSRIs, Welbutrin, Effexor, Lithium, depakote, tegretol, gabapentin, klonapin, lorazepam, respirdal, the occasional syringe of haldol, provigil and other narcolepsy drugs, sleep aids, supplements like fish oil, more I’ve forgotten….

And offered suggestions of Abilify, Seroquel, other anti-psychotics, electro-shock (ECT)…

As well as therapies including Jungian, supportive, interpersonal, analytical, psychodynamic, cognitive, task-centered, solution focused, dialectical behavior, cognitive behavioral…

I was myself a counselor from 2001 to 2011. Strange, but true.

Not one of these interventions helped me materially.

Not one.

And I experienced some very concerning side effects: tics, emotional numbness, difficulty thinking, feeling like a stranger in a strange mind. I totally gave up on treatment and medication in 2011. Bouts of suicidality ensued.

A very few friends and one wife threw the term autistic around over the years, but I never followed up. It seemed so unlikely. I was so bright. So articulate. Even somewhat successful… for a few months at a time.

And without conscious awareness, I had become adept at hiding the fact I was actually dysfunctional… perhaps the majority of the time.

Plus, I could pass for “normal” by masking… when not under stress. I learned by junior high to practice my favorite classmates’ neurotypical behavior in the bathroom mirror. Hide stimming, meltdowns, panic attacks, the total autistic burnouts lasting sometimes months, years…

In 2011, the intimacy of the most successful relationship of my life forced me to look inwardly as deeply as I could in order to avoid losing my third wife. (We are still together, deeply in love, but live in separate houses a few hundred feet apart. She needs breaks from my intensity. I find even her company exhausting after a few hours.)

My now-third wife had a family member with “high-functioning” autism, what we used to call Asperger’s (and what we now call, simply, autism). Watching this young boy negotiate his world was like watching myself in a magnifying mirror.

We had so many behaviors in common. Mine were just somewhat better disguised. With my wife’s encouragement in 2012, I began reading articles, books, online forums…

In 2016, when we separated briefly, I finally re-entered therapy. This time, I contacted various experts in adult autism through Indiana University’s Indiana Institute For Disabilities Community (IIDC).

Bingo.

Every symptom…Explained.

Every “flaw” in my character… traced back to this pervasive developmental diagnosis.

I am making progress in a kind of task-oriented counseling. Working on strategies to accommodate characteristics that just ain’t gonna change…

But the key gifts that external, credible diagnosis gave me:

Accepting I really am different, with very different needs from neurotypical folks.

Providing for those needs, as I discovered them. For instance, understanding my “special interests” are not hobbies. They are central to my survival. My job.

Reducing stimulation, sensory & social. Accepting I will have few intimate relationships in my life and becoming cautious about “friendships,” only those few folks who take the long, long journey to know and like me. After a lifetime naively assuming each new stranger was a new friend, my motto became, “Don’t like me? Don’t hang.”

Spending unashamed time… alone. I have a radical need for autonomy, while simultaneous difficulty managing independence when any other human is present. As much as I crave intimacy, I must manage my time with humans. Say less than 5 minutes with a stranger before anxiety or panic sets in, maybe 2 hours with my wife. Which brings me to…

Over the last few years, I’ve not only experienced reduction in anxiety, depression, suicidality, dissociation, night terrors, meltdowns, panic… I’ve come to realize my natural state.

Finding love. My neurotypical wife and I respect, admire, encourage, and desire one another. Pretty much a first for me.

Autistic joy.

Not disease…

Joy.

When I’m creating words or music, walking alone in Nature, watering my garden, cooking, fermenting pickles, making bread, decorating, yard sale-ing, reading, loving my pets, meditating, even shaving…

I’m in the flow.

There is no time. There is no space. No surroundings. No memory. No pain. Just lizard-warming-in-the-sun…

Joy.

Everything that restricts that joy? Gotta go. Good riddance…

So, diagnosis?

Yeah.

That’s my story.

And this time, I’m sticking to it.

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treatian · 4 years

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The Chronicles of the Dark One: The Dark Curse

Chapter 34: In the Meantime

It wasn't the best time for people to come seeking deals from him. Winter was coming on. It wasn't quite freezing yet, it was still only Fall in the village, but the mountain was already cold. He was already experiencing high winds and occasional bouts of snow that usually chased people away from his domain, making them question just how much they wanted to talk to him. So when he heard a knock on his door, he was almost eager to answer, just to see just who had braved the cold to speak with him.

In the foyer, he waved his hand, and the front door opened automatically on not one, not two, but three visitors. A very tall blonde woman, flanked by two shorter women of similar face. Obviously sisters. The two sisters on the outside were shivering from the cold, they huddled around their third sister who didn't seem overly bothered by it. They stood as a united force, clutching their hands together in a death grip. Fear. But not permanent fear. As they stood there before him he observed as one squeezed their hand and the grip loosened ever so slightly. A sisterly acknowledgement that they were there for one another and to have no fear and-

The Seer was talking in his head. The Dark Ones were stirring too, sharing information he hadn't caught before. The sisters were far from ordinary. And the one in the middle…she was far from weak.

"Well, well, well, what do I have here but the three beauties of…Arendelle?! My what a long way you've come. And, oh! Princesses, I believe. Well, in that case, what an honor to make your acquaintance," he pronounced, dropping into a deep bow.

"How could you know that?" one of the girls asked, a smile suddenly curling over her face.

"Well, you're the ones who have come to see me and come such a long way for a reason, of course! You must know then that it is my job to know all. Otherwise you wouldn't have come."

There it was. A squeeze. The one who had smiled, her intrigue disappeared as her sister squeezed her hand but not out of fear or calming. It was a warning. And if the looks on the girl's faces were any indication, they could tell the difference. What interesting dynamics at play.

"Yes, um…thank-thank you for seeing us Mister Rumpels-Dark One…Sir!"

"Mister, Mister, Mister, Sir, Sir, Sir…tell me, what have I done to earn such monikers."

"Oh!" the girl gasped with wide eyes. "Well…we were just…I was just-"

"My sister was just trying to be polite-"

"No need to respond, Dearie," he informed the older sister. "'Twas a rhetorical question." Another squeeze and this time…magic. Not only through the middle girl, where he sensed it the most, but through all the sisters, though he could sense the gift wasn't in the two on the side, it was something else. There, on their wrists…three ribbons. One for each. They'd flared with magic when they'd squeezed one another's hands. How interesting...

"Now, why don't you step into my domain and tell me all about your problems," he waved them in, and the moment they were inside, he let the door close behind them with a bang that made them jump and gasp…and squeeze. And there it was again, that small bit of magic. He turned on his heel and led them into the Great Room.

"Oh, Sir-Dark One, it's really my problem, not theirs!" one of the girls cried out behind him as they followed.

"Ingrid, don't be silly! We're sisters. Your problems are our problems. We want to help you! Let us!"

"You see, Mist-Si-Dark One, when we were children, we learned that our sister as born with ice powers!" the other one responded. "She can make ice and snow when she wants."

"But also when I don't want to, I can't control myself."

"Right, which is why we're here! We need your help-"

"I need your help to stop them. So I can live with my sisters and in my Kingdom in peace without fear they'll discover who I am-"

"What," he corrected quickly as he took a seat at the other end of the table and left them standing there opposite him.

"Excuse me?" the middle girl, Ingrid, the future Queen of Arendelle, questioned.

"What you are…not who you are," he corrected. He'd already heard enough to know what was going on. Ice powers. Very specific, only teaching her more would tell him for sure, but if he had to guess, she was a genuine Elemental; those capable of controlling only one of the four magical elements, but controlling it with such force that they were in fact stronger than those who could deal in all four. Other Dark One's had dealt with Elementals prior to him but he'd only ever seen one other in his life, also from Arendelle, also with the ability to create and harness ice…perhaps a family member? How many generations back had that girl been?

"Sir, our sister is no monster, if that's what you're implying!"

"Who said anything about a monster?" he questioned. In fact, the one he'd known before was quite in control of her powers, and most Elementals did eventually learn to control them out of necessity. So long as they learned to embrace their powers and not run terrified from them, most Elementals could live out their days peacefully with few ever really knowing what they were. But, he supposed, the difference between who and what…it was a simple mistake to make.

"What she is would be far more than that. Perhaps you are but too young to understand that what we are influences who we are and who we will become. There is no shame in understanding ourselves completely."

"You see Ingrid!" the smiling sister commented, squeezing her sister's hand again. "It's just as we've said. We don't have to be here, we can help you learn to love yourself."

"I don't care!" Ingrid insisted, squeezing both their hands. The ribbons flared. He wondered, did they know what they had before him. "Gerta, Helga…I just want these powers gone! I just want to be normal! Can you help me do that, Dark One?" she asked suddenly, turning her head and fixing her stare upon him so that he had to fight back a shudder. A woman of ice indeed.

"Perhaps…" The Seer wasn't just whispering now, she was screaming, showing him flashes in his head of a world he didn't know yet but had seen in other visions.

A wall of ice.

A mirror imbued with magic.

Villian.

Victim.

Curse.

A feeling of death, murder.

"You shall try. Kill the spares. Spare your family. Try you shall."

Sisters. But not these three. A bond preserved…through the ribbons on their wrists.

"Only when the time is right."

"Ice powers, you say?" he shouted from the other side of the table.

"And snow," Ingrid finished for him.

"My, my, how intriguing. And such a rare gift. Why would you ever want to give it up? Perhaps I could interest you in lessons instead?" Lessons would certainly allow him to identify her gifts more completely, perhaps even tell him why the Seer in his mind was painting her as blackness when she wore so much white. Not to mention it might help him learn how to better guide Regina who had to be the priority-

"Kill the spares, spare your family!" the Seer shouted.

It was all very intriguing, but that especially deserved a look. If she was a danger to Baelfire…he wasn't about to go through all this trouble just to put his son at risk again.

"No," she refused outright. "I want to stop them. We heard that you were the greatest collector of magic in all the Land. You must have something that can help."

"Well, of course, I do, dearie," he was quick to remark. In fact, he had exactly the things that she would be needing. But watching as the sisters continued their hand-holding…he couldn't for the life of him understand why she was here. To get rid of powers such as her own was drastic when she needed only to master the art of control, something he was certain at least one sister wanted to help her with. He sat forward. "The thing I don't understand is why you need me when you already have all the help you could possibly ask for."

"What do you mean?" she questioned. An innocent question. Truly innocent. This girl, she hadn't a clue what she possessed. It seemed that in addition to her powers she was also the proud owner of ignorance and had no desire, it seemed to want to rid herself of that. She'd rather displace her own powers than be brought into the light? He wasn't about to lose a couple of his prized possessions over ignorance.

He moved to get up, but instead of taking his time to walk to them, he simply appeared behind them, a demonstration of what control of power could do. Perhaps she'd be impressed by it. Maybe even changed.

"True love comes in many forms," he pointed out. "But the sisterly bond... Oh!" he moved to the other side. "Worth its weight in magic."

"My powers are too strong. I need something to control them," Ingrid insisted yet again. Now, there was a stubborn woman if he'd ever met one.

"Well, if you insist. Just remember," he explained as he leaned against his table to watch the girls. "Love is free. But all magic comes with a price!"

From a drawer in his workshop, he called forth a pair of pale blue gloves. He'd gotten them in a hasty deal with a witch who had a hobby of carving wood. In his opinion, they were the only thing that she'd ever done that had any value for she'd placed on them a neutrality spell. They would cancel any magic they came into contact with, much the way the cloak he'd given dear Granny worked.

"These gloves can help you conceal your powers," he explained as he presented them to her.

"And stop them?" Ingrid pressed.

He let out a little laugh. Clever enough to catch on to a simple turn of phrase but too ignorant to take the time to learn about herself. He supposed that made her simply average—an awful thing considering the power inside of her.

"Well, only if you believe it." Elementals were known for conjuring their magic with the use of their emotions, but they often learned first to channel it through their hands. Gloves, and her continued belief in her own ignorance, should take care of most of the problem. But not all. "Faith can be powerful. But for those who lack it, well, sometimes another solution is required…"

He turned his attention and thus their own to a special urn that he'd only acquired recently. He'd practically throttled the man who brought it to him once he learned what it could do. It captured magic. Contained it in the most uncomfortable of ways. All magic. Including his own. Which was perhaps why he preferred to keep it in this room, far away from his own laboratory where he did most of his work, lest he accidentally find it opened and himself inside it. He'd rather face the hells of Pandora's Box.

"Think of this as your fail-safe," he explained, carefully picking it up off of its pedestal. He had a mortar and pestle that was of little use to him he could put in its place. "If things get too chilly, simply pop the top and in you go. All your powers will be contained, and all of the Realms shall be safe from you. Problem solved," he concluded, offering it to them.

Ingrid nodded, a small smile twitching in her cheeks even as her sisters exchanged a disapproving glance behind her back.

Their bond broke as Ingrid stepped forward, ready to take them from him, and he fought to roll his eyes. Someone stepping up to take his possessions without properly concluding their deal was something that happened all too often. Fortunately, he happened to love this part of the process.

"I don't know how you do things in Arendelle, dearie, but here a deal requires an exchange of goods," he stated, pulling the urn away from her. "What I want is…uh…" he feigned looking about them as he left the urn on the table. But there was nothing to consider. He'd had his eye on something that he wanted from the moment they came in. It was the first thing the Seer had zeroed in on when he'd seen them. He didn't know why they were important, not yet, but he doubted it was a custom in Arendelle to wear yellow ribbons on one's wrist. He also doubted it was an accident that they'd all worn them the same day. The ribbons meant something, not only to them but to the future. He had to know what.

"These lovely ribbons! All three!"

Immediately the girls turned to their wrists and looked them over.

"Our ribbons?" Ingrid questioned as the other two girls looked at one another with wide eyes. Sentiment…that was what he saw. "But they're just silly little things we've worn since we were children," Ingrid explained. It wasn't much to go on for a normal man, but for one who had been around for far longer than a normal man should and understood he was a monster as Ingrid feared she'd become, he'd gotten just enough information. They were precious. And precious objects could sometimes absorb that sentiment he saw in their eyes.

"Sometimes, with enough love, ordinary objects can come to possess their own special kind of magic," he explained, purposefully getting up and moving about the table so she could see the urn and the gloves before her. A very clear choice with no obstacles but her own in her way.

"Ingrid, no," he heard one of the sisters urge.

"We can't give them up. It's not right," the other agreed.

"I-i-it's just a symbol," Ingrid stuttered. "It's not strong enough. I need something that will guarantee that I never hurt anyone again." Again…how lucky was he. Hurting others could be excellent motivation for the right individual. Perhaps the murder the Seer now rambled on about in his mind. "Like he said, a fail-safe."

"We are your fail-safe, Ingrid," one of the girls stressed.

Oh, but how unlucky was he that these girls seemed…particularly bonded. It was a questionable deal, he knew that much, but the monster inside of him didn't particularly care if the deal was good or bad, all that mattered was making it! And if he allowed them to talk much longer…there would be none.

"Do we have a deal?" he questioned, bursting back into their conversation quickly. Ingrid looked back and forth between her sisters and then finally at the ribbon on her wrist.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, reaching down to undo the bow. "It's not enough."

The sisters may have disagreed with their sister, but at her motion, they listened and followed through. They removed their own ribbons and offered them to him as well.

"Deal, deal, deal," he chimed as he held them in his hand, then stepped aside and allowed Ingrid to swoop in and take her prizes. Oh, she didn't waste time, she handed the urn to her sister and quickly put the gloves on her own hands as though they were her salvation. Yes…that would solve most of the problem. As for the last little bit.

"Careful with that urn, dearie!" he called out to the redhead who held it now. "Opening it accidentally could have…undesirable consequences." The sisters looked at each other with wide eyes before the blonde on the right gave a tug on her sister's arms.

"Let's go," she urged. They were gone in the blink of an eye.

#Rumbelle #Rumple #rumpelstiltskin #The Snow Queen #Frozen #Ouat #ouat fanfic #fanfic

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kirkwoodsdgfhj-blog · 4 years

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Many folks are familiar with the idea

you tend to attract. It really is a simple concept: energy flows where attention goes. This entire world is about energy and the 'Law of Attraction' says that how you extend your energy (or thoughts) is exactly what the Universe will connect with and respond to.

I find this to be true for me, in big things and in small. There are a few tricks, to be sure (like patience and positivity at all times) but sometimes, things just click into place without too much effort. Here is an example from my own life.

After a series of consultations, I am originally scheduled for major surgery in late March of this year. I wonder aloud (at the time of scheduling) if perhaps the surgery might be moved up and am told, bisexual threesome very politely, that that will happen around the same time wee fairy folks cross the seas from Ireland and ride around on white unicorns granting wishes and handing out winning lottery tickets. Umm. Safe to say the date will be late March. And that is okay: but I still imagine the date as being one month earlier (somehow I feel that the surgery should be complete by the full moon of March, which is also my 50th birthday). In my mind, I see my bed next to a window, beside the bathroom and in an empty ward. (This was after the hospital staff offered me a semi-private room for a mere 160.00 a night: no, thanks!) In my vision, the nurses and doctors are all heaven sent and the hospital itself is as quiet as a morgue. (Ooops...poor descriptive choice, but you catch my meaning, right?). I also wish for rain as somehow, being in the hospital begs for cozy, rainy days. So I picture all of these things, feel the gratitude (as in: it would be soooooooooo nice), and then let it go. It is just the way I would prefer, if I had my say, for this whole episode to pan out...but after I think about it, desire it and appreciate it, I forget about it. Release it.

Here's what happens.

About one month ago, the phone rings and I am offered a new surgery date (I guess the wee folk have arrived) which is exactly one month to the day prior to the original one. I yell "but that's only a week away!!". They laugh. I agree to the new date. And smile.

I think about the surgery and understand the risks. But I am not worried or afraid. It is almost surreal, the way I feel - I send out love and well-being to the nurses and to the surgeon who will perform my surgery. I send out thanks and serenity to everyone involved and I feel no fear, no doubt and no trepidation. I know that my recovery will be swift and relatively easy, which is not normally the case with this type of surgery. But somehow, I know.

So now we are at the day of surgery. I am as cool as a cucumber. I feel good; I feel funny. I joke about everything with everyone. They seem to like it. I am wheeled into surgery, check out the big lights overhead and marvel at all the people in the room who are bustling about, preparing this and checking that: I find it humbling that they are all here for me. Wow. I watch my anesthesiologist setting me up like he wants to fly me: arms outstretched on either side and miles of tubes snaking around and into my arms. I am intensely interested. The next instant, out go the lights and I am intensely gone. I am as gone as I'll ever be. Well. Almost.

Sometime later, I am conscious of someone yelling at me and slapping my arm. I am in the recovery room. They are telling me to breathe and I think, how silly, I am breathing. I mean, how obvious is that? But then I am gone...until I hear the voices once more begging me to breathe. I open my eyes for a second, try very hard to stay awake and fail. This process goes on for a few hours until they have managed to keep me breathing for awhile and are fairly confident that I will continue to do so. And off I go to my ward. Even in my befuddled state, I realize as we enter that I am in a room with only two spots. Not a ward: a semi-private room. The other bed is empty. They roll me to the space by the window. With a view of the mountains, no less. And right next to the bathroom. The lights glow against a solid sheet of rain. Ahh. Cozy. And poof! I am gone again.

During the next few days, while I am sort of sleep-awake, I learn the events of my actual surgery. My surgeon dubs it the 'Operation from Hell'...it took twice as long as normal, I lost most of my blood and then I stopped breathing. Quite the drama! The nurses are lovely and kind (they comment how oddly quiet the 2nd floor is...very unusual, they say) and I have a total of four doctors come to see me on a regular basis. They seem sent straight from heaven, all of them.

So, as you can see, all of the aspects of my vision came to pass: my surgery was moved up one month, I got my bed by the window, my semi-private room, my own private bathroom, it rained the whole time, the hospital was strangely vacant, the nurses were spectacular and I received extra care and attention from more wonderful doctors than I had ever expected.

Most importantly, I saw only swift and sure recovery for myself, which is exactly what is happening. I am home and feeling almost back to normal after only 10 days when the usual recovery period is between 4 to 6 weeks, minimum. Whatever might have happened between my going into the hospital and coming out of it hadn't really concerned me. I had not focused on the negative, therefore, when the negative happened, it had no ownership of me as I had not fed it or encouraged it or even acknowledged it. It had no hold on me or my life path.

Many folks call the Law of Attraction 'manifesting'. I would be one of them. I know that whatever is paid attention to, both good and bad, will draw that thing or experience or situation to you. There are three steps in manifesting. The first is to decide what it is you want and why. If this desire is in line with positive and progressive results, the faster it will be drawn. (If your desire is a questionable one, for example, desiring to draw a certain person into your life, manifestation either will not work or will backfire on you, for any such manipulation interferes with the free will of another.) The second step is to really feel it: see yourself doing/experiencing/living your desire...feel it in your gut and in your heart. REALLY WANT/FEEL IT, even if for only a moment (strong emotions give life and energy to your desire). The third step is to let it go - imagine your wish is contained within a big, fat balloon. As long as you keep holding the string, the Universe cannot interact with the balloon (your desire). You must let it go.

I wanted to share my experience with you as evidence that maintaining a positive attitude and practicing the simple steps outlined above truly holds the capability of manifesting your desires. All you need is an open mind, pure and clear intentions, a little imagination and the ability to release and not rehash your desires or wishes (that would be like pulling the balloon back down to the ground, where it would be...well, grounded). And you will realize that you have more power and control over your life than you could have ever believed possible. You might also realize that you are part of the 'bigger picture' and are connected to something much more evolved and magickal than you'd ever imagined.

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leswansong · 5 years

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Chapter Fourteen - Adrinette April - Notes for You

Day 14 - The Valentine

Read it on A03? –> [ Click Here ]

AN: All links to poems can be found at the end

February 1st, the start of a new month and the last of winter, the snow had melted away living any trace of the white Christmas she experienced at the start of the winter months.

She stepped out of the warm bakery, her home into the cold morning air, she couldn’t wait until spring when the morning air warmed up enough to where she didn’t have to be bundled up in a million layers just to head to her high school that sat just across the street, she tugged at her pastel pink scarf wrapping it tighter around her neck trying to keep the morning frost at bay, her feet stomped heavily up the concrete steps towards the large green wooden gate, she could still smell the fresh bread pouring out of the smokestacks of the bakery as she got further into the school, then again she could always smell home reminding her that it was never was far away.

The courtyard was crowded with other students, it was suffocating, she never really liked crowds it was a fear she developed at a young age when she lost her Parents at Mall during Christmas, it had left her scared for a significantly long time terrified to step out into public area’s in case it happened again. She bobbed and weaved around the courtyard heading towards the locker room, she needed to grab a few books before class, she hoped Alya was already waiting for her, the two had some homework to go over before their morning classes began, Marinette had been silly had left it to the last minute for the 800th time.

The locker room was practically empty, only a handful of students remained, she quickly pushed aside her fears and went to her locker, her mind was elsewhere and didn’t register the white envelope sitting neatly on the top shelf, it was only when she needed to grab her Science book and accidentally knocked it off. She placed her books down and gently picked it off the floor, reading her name written carefully on the envelope, she gently opened it, a single white card sat inside, there was no fancy design on the front so it wasn’t store bought, it was just… white. She opened it reading and rereading the words written on the card stock, the words had been written in the most careful handwriting as if the author had spent hours beforehand practising making sure not a letter was out of place.

I can’t say I love you. But it’s hidden deep inside of me.

I can’t say I need you. But it hurts every time you leave me.

I wish that I could express what really is true.

More and more I find myself hiding the way I feel for you.

A thousand words cannot be written in a single card so 13 more shall follow leading to one special day…

- Your secret Valentine

A poem, predictable but it was cute, she placed the card back in the envelope and picked up her books, she needed to speak to Alya. She tripped up the stairs several times trying to get to class before the bell, she had a good thing going for the past week and a half, she had been on time for almost all of her classes and she was cutting it close, the letter had thrown her timing off, she barreled into the classroom meer seconds before the bell.

“And she’s safe!” Alya cheered as Marinette made her way over to her old seat.

“Sorry Nino, I need my old spot back for this morning, you can have Adrien for this morning, Thanks!”

Nino barely had time to protest when Marinette sat down in the wooden seat, he let out a sigh and reluctantly sat down in her seat, grumbling something beyond her hearing.

“What's this about?” Alya whispered, careful not to tip Miss Bustier off to their conversation.

Marinette opened her French Literature book sliding Alya the Envelope.

“Read,” she whispered back.

She watched out of the corner of her eye as her friend opened the card, silently reading the words on the page.

“Secret Admirer?”

“Seems like it…”

“We are so finding out who they are.”

“There are over 100 people in this school.”

“Well, you’re not wrong.”

“It will take forever to find out who.”

“Luckily your admirer is planing 13 more notes.”

Marinette didn’t know how to respond so she stayed silent focused on the chalkboard.

——====+====——

“He likes you…”

“What?”

“He likes you.” Kagami said again in a much clearer voice, “You didn’t know?”

Marinette stared back at Him then at the anonymous Valentine’s letter in her hands, Marinette had suspected that the letter had been written by someone she knew but she never suspected it was Adrien, she opened it rereading the words carefully written on the page.

The words had been committed to her memory, they weren’t originally a quick google search proved that but it didn’t demean the emotions they were trying to convey. She studied the cursive handwriting, it didn’t seem like Adrien’s, his was messy so he could get his idea’s and thoughts out quickly and he normally didn’t write in cursive but that didn’t mean he didn’t write it, she wasn’t a handwriting expert its just she had never seen it so… neat and she couldn’t get past it.

“He mentioned liking someone,” Kagami continued, “I didn’t think… I thought he was just saying it to be kind, It didn’t cross my mind that he was being honest.”

Marinette looked up over to her, a single tear slowly fell down her cheek before a determined look spread across her face.

“Why does he like you?”

“I… I…”

“What makes you better?” Kagami was almost yelling, “Why does he find you more interesting more than me.”

“I… I don’t know. I really don’t know…”

“He’ll be mine…” Kagami angrily muttered before storming off.

Marinette stood in place still in shock at the outburst. Her eyes stayed focus on the door Kagami had left through, her mind replaying everything she had said.

“Marinette?”

She looked up at him, his face was full of concern, “Adrien…”

“Are you okay? Kagami she seemed-“

“Angry?”

“Yeah,” he motioned to sit down next to her, Marinette nodded her head, “Did you want to talk about it?”

“You probably should ask her,” she snapped back.

“I…”

“It’s okay, just a little in shock at her outburst, sorry.”

“What was it about?”

“This silly little card,” she said trying to downplay it, “she thought you wrote it but stormed off before I could tell her that it didn’t match your handwriting.”

She watched his face, watching for something to tell her she was right and Kagami was wrong, but it gave nothing away as he looked down at the card.

“May I?” he asked reaching for the card.

She shrugged, “Sure,” and handed the small white rectangle card over to him.

He carefully inspected the letter, he mouthed the words as he read, she was now pretty sure he wasn’t the one who placed it in her locker that morning.

“Hmm… I don’t know, Good luck trying to find out who,” he handed her back the card.

——====+====——

Saturday and Sunday weekends, her favourite days of the week, days to relax, to design and to spend time with her parents. She was a little surprised not to see two cardboard letters show up on her doorstep, she was disheartened, she was actually looking forward to the little notes with the silly little poems so when Sunday came to an end she reluctantly sent Alya a text.

-_-_-_-

A+ Blogger

No sign of Secret

Maybe he’s given up

That sucks

I was rooting for him

you seem to have miss placed your trust Al

he was probably just going to lead me on…

bet he didn’t think 13 days in advance

-_-_-_-

Marinette slowly walked into school heading towards her locker to dump her extra layers and spare books, lunch was a boring affair she was about ready to turn and walk back home, her locker door squeaked as she opened it, her eyes fell upon a single white envelope, maybe she was wrong maybe this guy was more determined than she thought, she inspected the envelope again, her name neatly written on the front again it was slightly different, handwritten. She opened it, the same rectangular letter, but different words. She read them again, the words singsonged in her head, she knew what was happening, she was falling but she couldn’t be, she loved Chat, how could she fall for random letters on rectangular pieces of paper.

You have come into my life

And it changed with a blink of an eye

You have blown the roof

To let me see the blue sky.

I can praise you for a whole day

But my love for you so great

That I need many days to say.

You could be the one,

the one I’ll stay with till I die.

You are the greatest in every way,

and I’m not telling a lie.

Out of every person in the world,

you are the best.

In every location on the planet,

from the North East South and West.

You are so beautiful,

even from afar,

please stay the same,

you’re perfect just the way you are.

I love your laugh and your smile.

While your voice is all I ask for,

It can make me so happy to hear.

You’re simply everything I adore.

There’s nothing I would change.

You’re just perfect for me too.

I do not see any flaws.

There’s nothing left for me to do.

Three poems for you to make up for the weekend

-Your Secret Valentine

She slowly pushed the paper back in the white envelope and let out a sigh, she needed to get her thoughts together and school was most defiantly not the place for that she turned to leave but collided with a body.

“Oh no, I’m… So sorry,” she fell to her knees to pick up the books they had dropped.

“Marinette it’s fine.”

She looked up and a wave of relief washed over her, “Adrien… I didn’t realise it was you, sorry, I should have been looking.”

“It's okay I’m used to you crashing into my life.”

“Very funny, I… I have to go.”

“But class,” he protested.

“I… I just need to go.”

She waved goodbye and headed to the nearest secluded area to transform, the red spotted suit was covering her body in seconds, she leapt onto the nearest rooftop and ran, she tried to stick to shadows, she didn’t want to cause panic among the streets below. Her mind ran over the words on the paper again and then over everything she loved about her partner, she had plans for valentines day, but the small voice in her head asked her if she was going to follow through with it if she was brave enough to tell him how she felt. The person, her secret admirer was telling her even if… she laughed, he was braver than she was, she was pretty sure it was a boy but to be honest she wasn’t sure. Their words rang in her head, "I can’t say I love you. But it’s hidden deep inside of me,” the words that had started her down this rocky path, who were they and how had they managed such an impossible feat in such a small about of time with such little effort, many had tried before, the simple little Valentine’s card, she had had several appear in her locker over the years, each with their own cheesy pickup line or poem, none of them were original and usually gave themselves away in a matter of hours, this one… puzzled her. They were playing it close to their chest not letting anything away.

Wooing her, this was stage one of his plan, then… then slowly tell her about himself, and by the end she would have 14 letters, 14 letters that would tell her exactly how he felt, she had almost caught him on day one, he panicked, he was afraid to admit it so he had hidden for two days unsure of his plans, missing some important steps in his plans but he could quickly adjust, it was easy to make it seem like it was actually part of the plan it just meant some things had to be shifted around.

Kagami had thrown him for a loop, he hadn’t known she had felt that way about him, keeping it hidden just like Chloe. Marinette had blinded him to the other girls around him, he failed to noticed blushed kissed checks thinking that it was just the makeup or the instructor pushing them a little too far never that they liked him more than a friend, he felt horrible… Kagami was a friend, a good one at that, although he didn’t really know much about her, she was good at fencing, she had a lot of pressure from her family to succeed, he knew little about her family, only having met her mother briefly. Maybe it was the rose he gave her a while ago when he had felt lost and confused around Marinette.

And here he was again circling back around to Marinette. He was saddened that he wasn’t a poet using others to author his feelings towards her, it felt like a cop out, that he wasn’t being 100% honest but he and Plagg agreed that the horrible attempts of original poetry that now sat hidden among his other books upstairs should remain confined to the pages they had first been written on and he should never try poetry again, Plagg had made it clear that if he had to read another word of Adrien’s failed attempts that the small Kwami wouldn’t hesitate to destroy half of Paris. Adrien had saved pages upon pages of other poets works, it was hard to narrow them down into 14 letters, they all said what he wanted to tell her, he tried to avoid the longer ones, his calligraphy practice wouldn’t hold out for that long, his fingers hurt only after a few words but it was all worth it for her, his sweet Marinette. He stared back at the slowly flowering Rose, the florist had assured him it would bloom on Valentine’s day, it wasn’t a red rose but a delicate pink, the colour had caught his eye when he passed it on the street, it now sat among two other roses, red and white, love and purity, they were in bloom and would reach full in a few days. A poem had caught his eye, it had led him to buy them adding them into his ever-growing plan, he couldn’t help but wonder over to them breathing in their sweet scent, he had forgotten how many times he had done so. He stared back at the slowly flowering Rose, the florist had assured him it would bloom on Valentine’s day, it wasn’t a red rose nor a pink, the colour had caught his eye when he passed it on the street, it sat among two other roses, red and pink, love and friendship, they were in bloom and would reach full in a few days. A poem had caught his eye, it had led him to buy them adding them into his ever-growing plan, he couldn’t help but wonder over to them breathing in their sweet scent, he had forgotten how many times he had done so.

He returned back to his computer with a heavy heart, he needed to narrow down what poem he was going to use for tomorrow.

There it sat, her white envelope waiting to be opened, she almost tore it out of the envelope.

If I Thought

If I thought for just one moment that this would be my last breath,

I'd tell you I'll love you forever, even beyond death.

If I thought for just one moment that your face would be the last I'd see,

I'd take a million pictures and save them just for me.

If I thought for just one moment that your voice would be the last I'd hear,

I'd listen attentively and promise not to shed a tear.

If I thought for just one moment that your touch would be the last I'd feel,

I'd embrace you and know that this has all been real.

If I thought for just one moment that my heart would beat its last beat,

I'd thank the Lord for allowing us to meet

-Dana Schwartz

You’ve probably figured that the words I use aren’t my own, I tried to write an original for you but it couldn’t compare

-Your Secret Valentine

She pressed her back on the locker next to her's as she read.

“Lover boy’s still keeping the charade?” Alya asked.

Marinette nodded her head as she continued to read.

“So you’re really going to get 14 of these?”

“I guess so…”

“Let me see.”

Marinette handed her the rectangle card.

“Loverboy has it bad.”

There was no denying it the boy really did have it bad, Marinette almost felt sorry about being in love with Chat, and even more so as she returned to her locker each day to find a new letter within, Alya had lamented to her that her investigation into the boy had dried up with absolutely no information to aid her, but still the small white envelopes came, sometimes they would be there in the morning waiting for her before class, somedays it would show up after lunch others she would have to wait until the end of the day to read. The 14th was approaching quick it was 4 days away, Marinette had 10 envelopes safely tucked away in her diary at home and she was patiently waiting for number 11 to join them, she opened her locker and spied it sitting neatly in her messy locker, it was the first thing she grabbed not caring about the books she would need for class and opened it.

I have heard your request but that comes at a cost: losing one poem that I had reserved for you…

‘His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,

His hair is as dark as a blackboard.

I wish he was mine, he’s really divine,

The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.’

-Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

This poem tells you two things about me but can you guess what?

-Your secret Valentine

Her eyes grew wide as she raced off to find Alya, calling her name in the bricked hallways.

“Alya!”

“Woah, calm down.”

Marinette pushed the card into her best friends hand.

“Read,” she commanded and her friend obliged.

“Well, this most certainly helps… How many days-“

“4, you have 4.”

“That's all the time I need,” Alya replied snapping a photo of the card before handing it back to Marinette.

Her best friend had purposely left her out on her plans to find who was leaving the cards as to not ruin the fun for her, Marinette didn’t want to know who was behind the cards unless they wanted her to but it didn’t stop her curiosity, occasionally listening in to some of Alya’s theories none of them helped much as she seemed to throw things at the wall to see if they would stick. Marinette didn’t have to commit this poem to memory, she had loved the Harry Potter books when she was younger, Ginny had written it about Harry however there was still the question of why this was today's poem, "This poem tells you two things about me but can you guess what?” Two things, it wouldn’t be the simple Black hair and Green eyes, although one of the features could be, but the second… She highly doubted it was the divine part everything so far had indicated that he wasn’t narcissistic and the last line was completely out of the question, so that left the ones above, just two little lines that gave almost nothing away.

The puzzle had stuck with her all day she stared down at the card exhaustedly, theories had come and all had been debunked, her copy of chamber of secrets sat on her desk, the poem was on page 178 but the number had no meaning behind it, she let out a frustrated groan and hit her head against her desk.

“Maybe you’re looking too far into it Marinette,” The Red Kwami softly offered.

“So he’s trying to tell me he likes Harry Potter, everyone likes Harry Potter,” she responded bluntly.

“And quite a lot of people have black hair or green eyes, he didn’t say anything about it being groundbreaking,” Tikki snapped back sarcastically.

“Sorry Tikki…”

“I understand. Are you going to do anything for Chat on Valentine's day?” She asked changing the subject.

“Maybe, I’m… Still a little unsure Tikki.”

“Just follow your heart it’ll lead you down the right path.”

She smiled at her Kwami, “Thank you Tikki. You always know what to say,"

To Be continued tomorrow

If I Thought - [ x ] Other Poems - [ x ]

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