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#and how he's lived his whole life as a liar
henry-thats-unsafe · 1 month
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im so fucking normal about chrisker guys im so fucking normal
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cvpidsb0ws · 1 year
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❛HEART.❜ | shuntaro chishiya x gn!reader
genre: fluff woohoo (i think) <333
warnings: swearing, obsessive chishiya (with his biscuits and u), and that's all probably!!!! 😊😊
sypnosis: you help a man with white hair in a white hoodie pick out the best cookies there is while he helps you during solitary confinement.
author's note: SEND REQUESTSSSSSSSSSSSS !not proofread! *LIKE ALWAYS*
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shuntaro chishiya stood out, like a ruby shining bright the most amongst diamonds. he stayed still, as his eyes continued to wander the grey walls of the room. he watched every person one by one, thinking of everything that could happen with them; from every impossibility to every possibility. and soon enough, his eyes stopped on you.
he couldn't help but feel time slowing by. his vision blurred and his irises grew when he focused on you as you threw your head back, laughing at a joke one of your groupmates said. your smile was of the upmost warmth that lit up the whole room of dullness. the sounds drowned in his ears, and the only thing he could hear was your laugh. he was taken aback, a blush blossoming on his pale cheeks, and he quickly shook his head to get out of this kind of trance.
then suddenly, time went back to normal. the sounds faded back in, and he unfocused on you.
he strided - slowly, yet surely. he watched every move of yours. and his feet were leading him to you, but then everyone was instructed to get into their cells. he would see you again after the first round. he was more than sure of it.
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once the round was over, chishiya immediately went on his way to find you. and he was relieved when he caught sight of that wretched smile of yours that made his ears catch the slightest tint of pink. even though, he was distracted by you, he was distracted by his rumbling stomach more, so he went to where they kept the snacks.
his eyes were scanning every shelf for something worth tasting, but he didn't find anything at all. however he heard a voice; one that was dripping of silks, milk, and honey. it was all too sweet for him
"you should try these cookies. they taste the best out of everything else, i promise! and it will change your. fucking. life."
as he looked to the side, he saw you with that stupid warm smile of yours, offering him a pack of cookies, and he didn't hesitate in taking them at all.
"i disagree with that statement. i don't think a single biscuit can change how i live my-" chishiya stammered, tasting the cookies. and he didn't waste time into shooting another one into his mouth. wow.
"i told you, dumbass!"
"maybe you're somewhat right . . ." he agreed with hesitancy, dragging out the sentence as a sign for you to give your name.
"(name). and your name is?" curious, you asked.
"give me a reason why i should tell you." chishiya remarked, and it left you pouting your lips, which he found adorable.
"okay then! hello 'give me a reason why i should tell you'!"
"it's chishiya." he couldn't control himself as he shook his head, letting out a quiet chuckle.
"okay, that's a bit better, don't you think?" you concluded with a toothy smile.
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chishiya was quick to go to a corner just to sit back and watch as if the world was crumbling in the palm of his hand. he found it surprising you were one to trust aramaki urami and her group of doubters and liars. you weren't safe there, and he knew. uh-oh.
he saw them lie to one man just because he did something they didn't trust, painting him in the dark light of being the jack of hearts. all said his symbol was a spade, except for one. except for you. he gritted his teeth as you said the truth about his symbol, and all eyes turned to you.
how could you be so stupidly brave?
when your back was turned, you were already being talked about, and he knew what was going to happen. then it was finally your turn, and they did lie. your symbol happened to be a heart. although, everyone else said it was a diamond.
chishiya waited for you to pass by him. once you did, he suddenly grabbed your wrist and pulled you closer to him - he didn't expect you to be too light, he pulled you too hard that you slammed right into his chest.
neither of you truly minded.
he whispered a word in your ear. a word, a small one at that, one that will either cost or save your life depending if you believe him or not.
"heart."
your eyes looked up at his eyes; a hurricane of emotions swirling all at once. and his tight grip on your wrist disappeared when he forcefully let you go. you didn't say anything, you just stared and he just stared too. until a smirk appeared tugging at his lips.
his infamous cheshire-cat smirk.
and that was engraved on your mind as you entered your cell. everything. everything about him. him. shuntaro chishiya.
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he waited, and waited, and waited. what was taking you so long? him caring too much for a stranger, such as you, had him clutching at the chains of insanity. i mean, for all he knew, you could actually be the jack of hearts, marking all of his suspicions wrong.
and why was his heart beating so so so fast? him saving you was a hit or miss. it was either you believed him or not. if you did, then he would be satisfied. but if you didn't, then he would blame it on your stupidity.
but then, he saw that smile of yours again bouncing across the dark walls of the room; light in a treacherous sea of darkness. you didn't deserve to be in this world at all, he thought.
chishiya was stuck to his place when you approached him. he was starstruck, to say the least. he swallowed his nervousness, and breathed out.
"you believed me."
"yes, i did."
from there on, you two were stuck to each other's side. until the game. even after the game. you both stayed together. both of you promising that you'll go back to the normal world. together. as friends who met in a world of life and death.
but shuntaro chishiya didn't want to be just friends.
and you wanted more too.
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radiocrypt-id · 3 months
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The bad kids haven't really looked too closely at the Rat Grinders (meta wise I know it's a commentary on different play styles and how shitty xp farming is and how op players/parties can become by doing the bare minimum if they put in the time while everyone else plays the damn game) but I find the split perspective problems absolutely fascinating. I can't wait for the Bad Kids to look at the Rat Grinders with envy and anger that the Rat Grinders got to live a normal highschool life without all this insane danger and experience being a teenager without it being the end of the world for them. Right now they just hate the Rat Grinders energy and are matching it back (which is a very high school thing to do. To have beef with a whole other group of kids and not even know why but you'll die on this hill because they started shit first)
Because to the Rat Grinders, from a purely outside perspective, the Bad Kids are fucking monarchs of the school, right? They skipped classes, ran around town, fought people, got arrested, hung out with a big devil? Every new staff member came at their recommendation? One of them has both her dads working at the school?? The destroyed school property, got teachers killed, straight murdered the coach? These fucking kids run around and are apparently scott-free? because the principal liked their chaos enough to let it go and help them avoid the police? To the Rat Grinders, the Bad Kids are untouchable. They're exempt from the law. They're liars, cheats and need to be humbled. It's unfair. From everyone elses perspective, it really does look like the Bad Kids have been given crazy favourtism.
Meanwhile, all of the Bad Kids have died at least once. They've been irreparably changed and are in a constant state of fight or flight. They assume everything is dangerous and anyone might be an enemy because for two goddamn years that was the exact case! They couldn't trust any adult first year! Literally anyone could have been infected with Kalina second year! who knows what happened with the Night Yord but I fucking bet they had issues with Yorbies pretending to be helpful just to kill them! Everyone, for two years, has been out to get them! They can't even sleep! And now they have to grind so hard or they fail. Adaine has a seemingly full time job after school basically every day because she literally can't afford to live? Fabian has taken on the most physically strenuous classes and sport one dude could and has dreams of also being a social legend because he's fucking lonely in that big house and he just wants to fill it. If anyone in the party fails or dies Riz is shit out of luck and wont ever get into a university? He so desperately wants his friends with him so he's working over time and ignoring his limits to make up for his party members not caring about the future. Fig is going through the strangest arc I've ever seen in my life? she's hard avoidant and taking three classes, so a 250% work load, because she's desperate to fill her time so she can't think about all the other work she has to do that if she ignores too long could crush her under the debt of her band from her label, or how alone she feels without her girlfriend around. Gorgug is so desperate to prove himself that he's doing four years of school work in one, trying to play catch up and also prove himself at the same time, he's taking it all so seriously but also is so fucking tired. And Kristen. Mother fucking Kristen "hey girlie" applebees. Expected to dedicate her life to a god with no direction, with the weight of failure being her gods death, while also being in school and also at your friends insistence needing to run for student body president and getting your priorities so mixed up and being completely left behind by her peers who didn't have to rework their entire world view and understanding of life in the span of a few months every few months.
The Bad Kids are in a terrible place. They're suffering. I want them to just say it out loud, to stop pretending they have it handled and are fine. I want Riz and Adaine to yell at the party to get their shit together. I want Fabian to tell someone how alone and abandoned her feels. I want Kristen to scream at Cassandra that she agrees, that it's not fair, she's just a kid, how could she be enough all on her own with no help? It sucks a god can only rely on a child, for both the god and child! They're both suffering from this arrangement! Neither is happy! I want Gorgug to beat the shit out of Porter with his inventions and rage at the same time, to make the best shit and use it in the most stunning way anyone has ever seen. I want Fig to finally get some freaking help, to have her teachers and parents reach out in a meaningful way and stop telling her to figure it out alone because clearly the pressure is too much for her to handle and she's drowning. I want someone, anyone, to look at the Bad Kids and tell them to stop. To help them. But I know it wont be that easy. I know it'll be the Rat Grinders yelling at how unfair it is the Bad kids get everything while they're on the sidelines that'll get under the Bad Kids skin and they'll yell about how awesome they are and that they didn't ask for any of this shit to happen to them and to fuck off. I know it's gonna get so much worse before it gets better. I know they'll figure it out and that it'll be a painful road there.
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princessbrunette · 26 days
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babydaddy!jj would be so soft l!! I think even if you guys weren’t officially together, he’d insist on you too living together. yanno… to save money and support each other and totally not so he can you underneath him anytime you need to unwind
݁٬ ࣪ ، ◟🧁 ✧
oooofff jj eventually moving you in together, ‘for the babies sake’. but its because he’s obviously head over heels for you still (as are you, but you’re still being stubborn) and he just wants to prove himself. he can’t believe he got you to agree to it, but when you do — he does everything he can to make your life easier.
thinking specifically about him picking up double shifts at his linecook job to make you a little extra money, coming home at night when the babies in bed asleep and you’re in the kitchen cleaning up in your little night gown :( he’s all greasy in that white tshirt and backwards cap, looking too good for your liking as he leans against the kitchen island making conversation with you.
“she been alright with the whole teething thing?” he watches you as you continue to wipe down the surfaces, doing everything in your power to not look at him.
“mhm. a little bit of fussing today but i think it’s settling down.” you answer and he nods, fixing his hat as he rounds the counter slowly.
“and uh, what about you? you all good? any stress you wanna tell me about?” he looms over you and you freeze up a little for a second before continuing to wipe the same spot over and over.
“uh… i’m good.” it comes out in a whisper and he smirks.
“thats bull.” he nearly laughs and you turn to look up at him, all guilty and doe eyed. “look, this is why i moved in with you, right? i’mma take all that stress away, mama. just let me.” his eyes dart between yours and you stare unsurely.
“…really?”
“mmmhm.” he hums, low in his throat. “you forget that i know you. inside out. you tellin’ me you’d say no to some head right now? ‘cus… i’on know ‘bout you but i missed having my head b’tween this pretty mamas thighs.”
you let out a shaky breath, one you didn’t know you was holding.
“jay.” you warn in a whine and he places his hands on your hips, massaging the skin you didn’t even know felt sore and tired until he did.
“c’mon. how ‘bout i get you creamin’ on these fingers, i make you a little snack, and then you get some good sleep. m’not workin’ tomorrow so… i got the mornin’ shift at home. you can sleep in.” his eyes dart between yours and you feel your knees nearly buckle if it wasn’t for him holding you. your eyes fill with tears and you nod, unable to even speak at the sheer amount of relief you felt.
“yeah? aw don’t cry. told you m’here to help you. not a liar, not last time i checked anyway.” he chuckles, leading you to the bedroom.
݁٬ ࣪ ، ◟🧁 ✧
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merakiui · 30 days
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ex-husband floyd thoughts...
in which you're living alone with your daughter. it's been two years since everything, and you're all settled. it took a while to truly feel secure and stable, and you received lots of help from family and friends. surprisingly (or maybe not), floyd's twin brother was one of the first to extend a helping hand. it's mostly thanks to him that you were able to have enough money to pay the first few months of rent at your new apartment. but now you're back on your feet, and things have never been better.
your daughter didn't understand it when you told her she'd be living with you from now on. awkwardly, you tried to explain that papa couldn't come with because he was getting involved with some bad people, and that was dangerous. your daughter didn't understand or believe you. it was difficult. you know how much she adored her papa and how much he adored her. but this is for the best. this is safe.
following the divorce, your daughter started saying strange things. things like "i saw papa today and he made me a yummy lunch!" you tell her this can't be; that was the babysitter, not floyd. besides, the dishes are clean and everything is stocked as it normally is. there's no evidence floyd could have been here. furthermore, he doesn't even have a key and your daughter isn't tall enough to reach the doorknob to let him in. your daughter calls you a liar and storms off most days because you refuse to believe her stories. that's all they are, really. she's just missing her papa.
you told floyd you had no problems letting him see her so long as he cleaned up his act and stopped getting involved with delinquents. seeing as it's been two years and floyd's still running from people, you (as a parent) have a responsibility to keep your daughter safe. and you know it's terrible for her and floyd, but this is the best option you can think of. the safest option.
floyd thinks that's bullshit because he can protect you and his daughter plenty, but then he gets it. you never liked the shadows that accompanied his surname. he understands. but he thinks it's awfully unfair of you to just cut him out of your life when he promised you he'd change and do better and be better. :/
he sees how hard you work, how rough it gets when you haven't been paid yet. he has jade send you money because he knows you don't want to see him, and most of the time you accept it. but sometimes it's sent back, accompanied with a note thanking him for his generosity and that you can manage by yourself. again, floyd knows this is bullshit.
his shrimpy works so hard. :( you deserve a break.
so when you're sleeping every night, he pays your apartment a visit. you've started sleeping on the couch most nights, with the tv still on, your work spread out on the coffee table, your daughter tucked away in her bed... it's hard being a single parent, isn't it? why don't you stop being stubborn and let him back into your life? floyd will take good care of you. he always has, hasn't he?
he carries you to bed and tucks you in, cleans up the room, stacks your books, prepares a meal for you to heat up tomorrow at work, etc. and how do you respond to his kindness? you go and change the locks without saying anything.
so next time floyd thinks he has no choice but to be drastic. so next time floyd will make sure you understand that there is no life worth living if it's not you and him together. as a pair. as a whole. you might be frightened when he wakes you up in the middle of the night to drag you back to his home (to your home) and you might continue to be scared of him when he confines you to the basement, but this is for your own good. think of your daughter! she deserves to grow up with both parents. at the very least, be good for her sake.
floyd tells your daughter that you're in perpetual timeout because you've been bad and she believes him. after all, it was you who refused to let her spend more time with her papa. that's a very bad thing to do!
floyd brings you your meals, carries you to the bath, bathes you, dresses you... you scowl at him the entire time, call him crazy, tell him to get away from your daughter, refuse to eat, fight him every time he tries to undress you for the bath. he smiles, eerily patient, and simply says, "i'm willing to letcha see her once you've cleaned up your act. you can do that, can'tcha?"
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kisses4choso · 10 months
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#USELESS CONFESSIONS
SYNOPSIS: your boyfriend finally reveals his secret identity, spider-man, but you've known for months ATSV CHARACTERS: hobie, miles, & miguel WARNINGS: cursing, still can't write hobie's accent, (ooc?), est. relationship, nicknames in hobie’s cause he’s british duh! NOTE: LONG, not proofread…
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“i’m not playin’, sweetheart, i swear it," HOBIE stated, noticeably a little confused at your reaction-- or lack thereof.
you shrugged, placed a brief kiss on his lips, and proceeded to play with his lip ring, “i’m not kidding either, we’re cool.”
and while hobie truly did love sharing kisses with you, he didn't think it was the best time for a make-out session.
“jus’ listen, yeah?” he pulled away from you just a bit, leaning his head back against the couch in your living room.
he didn’t mean to make a big deal out of this. the most he had done to prepare was trying to guess every reaction you could possibly give him.
just in case maybe you’d dump him for your own safety, or cried and asked him not to risk his life.
even then, he wasn’t sure what he’d do. but that’s how it was with hobie, everything was in the moment, and he was sure he’d think of something. but right then, his mind was utterly blank.
you smiled, an attempt at consoling your obviously distraught lover, “i really do believe you, hobie.”
but even as the genius he was, he hadn’t prepared for this.
a moment of silence passed between the two of you as he thought, his hands opting to caress your sides as you hid your face in his neck. his lips brushed against your ear, an action that made you jolt, “…for real?”
you peered up at him, “yeah, i’ve kinda known this whole time.”
you felt him tense under you, his hands stuttering before ultimately just stopping their movements and circling your waist.
pulling back to look at his face, his expression was surprising, it was odd for you to catch hobie off guard. his eyebrows were lifted and his mouth was slightly agape, allowing you a peek of his new tongue piercing.
“you didn’t think i’d stop to question how sometimes you’d come in through my window… that’s on the second floor, when there are no stairs?”
a small laugh escaped his lips, and he dropped his head on your shoulder, “hell, i didn’t even think ‘bout that.”
“i know, bee.”
“a detective, eh? how long?” he searched your eyes curiously, a pretty smile playing on his lips as he stared, and you would have absolutely kissed him if it weren’t for the situation.
“a few months ago when you got a weird alarm on your weird watch, then ditched me randomly during our movie marathon and came back all bloodied up and sweaty.”
he exhaled a shaky breath of relief; out of everything that could have happened thanks to his confession, he thought this was definitely a great outcome — you sitting pretty on his lap, teasing the hell out of him for thinking he was slick.
really, it couldn’t get much better than that in his eyes.
“‘nd you didn’t say anything?”
you smiled, relishing in hobie’s surprise. you had also noticed his weirdly inhuman senses, his ability to predict bad events, or the way he noticed your presence without you saying a word. “one, i knew you’d tell me eventually. two, it was fun.”
you remembered the times he’d catch something before it hit you, or save you from a nasty fall, answering your suspicions with, “i jus’ got a feeling,” or his cheesy go-to “jus’ my heart’s instinct to protect you, y’know?”
and while the second one was cute and all, you knew from the beginning that hobie was hiding something, you just needed time to figure out what and why.
on the other hand, hobie was convinced he was an amazing liar.
he didn’t realize he had a habit of playing with his rings or breaking eye contact when he had to come up with a quick lie, but of course you would notice it.
either way, he had been testing the waters for a while and he was sure he’d be okay with any answer you gave him, but he couldn’t lie and say this wasn’t the best one.
“yeah? had fun?” he asked, poking at your sides and watching your smile fall. he always found himself amused at how easily your body would give him reactions.
what he did realize was you enjoyed playing with him in the same way, “you just fuckin’ love bein’ a tease, huh?”
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“what? how?” MILES is suddenly panicked, if you figured him out, did that mean he was too obvious? did his enemies know too? his classmates? teachers? his parents?
god, he sure hoped not.
he had taken every precaution to make sure he was being as discreet as possible, and he didn’t even know how you came to find out.
he tried his best to hide it, especially from you. he knew the dangers he took on as a hero, but for a while he thought it was best not to involve you too.
he wouldn’t, couldn’t, have some freak use you to get to him. he couldn’t risk putting you in danger.
but there he was, sitting at his desk as you laid on his bed, looking through his collection of comics. the guilt of the white lies he had been telling you was eating him up, so he spontaneously confessed.
he expected you to cry or run out of his room, maybe even laugh at him in disbelief.
but he didn’t think you’d just hum, flipping through yet another one of his limited edition comics.
“your mom let me in once to drop off your backpack, and i saw your mask just laying on your desk.”
and even though he had just admitted to you what he did on those days no one knew of his whereabouts, he acted as if you were accusing him of a felony, “what if i was just a big fan?”
you looked up from the comic to find miles staring at you intently, genuinely awaiting your answer. you sighed, thinking of another situation that had revealed him to you.
“two months ago, i went to look for you at your dorm so we could watch spider-man win that big fight right in front of our school on the news. your window was left open but your phone was lying on your bed, and i know you don’t go anywhere without it.”
he looked down at his shoes, a wave of embarrassment suddenly crashing against him as he realized he had been lying for no reason at all.
“plus, i saw that spider-man wore those really nice— suspiciously clean— jordan’s you always wear.”
he must’ve looked like an absolute fool.
“oh.”
you couldn’t help but laugh at the cute pout that adorned your boyfriend’s lips, so you decided to push his buttons just a little more.
“then a few weeks ago you saw my spiderman keychain and started asking all kinds of questions about what i think of him. or well, you, i guess.”
he sighed deeply, rubbing his temples as if he were experiencing a severe headache. but that’s practically what it felt like, to think he was making a once in a lifetime revelation only to be brushed off.
“alright, i got it, i got it,” he put his hands up in mock surrender, “was i that obvious?”
and you couldn’t help but lie to him just this once, only because he looked disappointed that not only had you spoiled the surprise, you had also apparently been waiting to pull up receipts on him.
in other words, he looked like a kicked kitten.
“not obvious at all.”
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“what?” was all MIGUEL could think to say. he knew you were undoubtedly intelligent, it was one of his favorite things about you. well, not so much then. and hey, he was smart too. he could one-hundred percent, no doubt, outsmart you.
or so he thought.
“i said, i know. i’ve known for a while now.”
he said nothing, instead he chose to simply look at you, confusion evident in the crinkle of his eyes and the twist of his mouth.
“can you at least… explain?” he mumbled, heart stopping just a little when you rolled your eyes, and he genuinely couldn’t tell if it was adoration or humiliation that he felt in that moment.
you looked at him from your side of the bed, “do i need to?”
and his pride couldn’t be more crushed, but he needed to know what his mistake had been. surely, he had slipped up and told you before while drunk or something.
he wasn’t obvious. at all.
“you’re usually a jealous guy,” you said, and he immediately responded with a groan. he hated when you called him out on it, plus, what did that have to do with anything?
“what?” you asked, “am i lying?”
“just go on.”
you laughed, but ultimately decided to go along with him, “but when i’d rant about how great spider-man was, it wasn’t an issue.”
“is that really all you’ve got?” he asked, bothered by your restraint. he wanted to know more but at the same time he felt compelled to keep himself in the dark. maybe it would save him some dignity.
“i also noticed you leaving in the middle of the night sometimes,” you said, pausing for a moment. when you had seen the bruises he’d wake up with the next morning, you could have sworn your heart dropped.
the first couple of times it happened, you thought the worst of him. you thought that he’d spent the night at some stranger’s house, doing god knows what, but when he’d come back with ugly cuts and dirt smeared all over him, you ruled that out.
“and sometimes you’d have crazy fast reflexes.”
he narrowed his eyes at that, arms crossed over his chest defensively, “i train a lot.”
“that’s another thing, your physique is the exact same as spider-man’s,” you told him, and of course you of all people would know. you’d probably recognize miguel by his silhouette alone, not that it was hard to. he was six foot nine, far above the average human. everything about him was big, from his abnormal stature to his presence.
and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t stare at his back enough to recognize every curve and dimple it held.
so when you saw spider-man face to face, looking down at everyone and exuding that same overwhelming existence, you were bound to notice the similarities.
he huffed, pacing around the room in a state of… half astonishment, half distress?
it was hard to tell when he was muttering more than a few curses to himself.
“miguel, c’mon, i’d say your fangs are enough of a giveaway,” and he glared at you for that, his shoulders slumping as if the humiliation of everything had taken over him.
“dios mío, can’t you at least act surprised?”
“go ahead and tell me again. i’ll pretend.”
and although his eyes had been closed, he could definitely feel the way you were grinning. ear to ear, probably, enjoying the power you held over him in the moment.
he turned his body completely away from you, dramatic, sure, but what would he be if not a prideful bastard?
you definitely would never let him live this down.
“this was a mistake, i take everything back.”
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hobiebrownhobiebrownhobiebrown...
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theabysss · 7 months
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Salvation
pairing: sagau!Dottore x Reader
summary: When you die, the whole world collapses for Dottore, but maybe there is still hope?
warnings/tags: gn!Reader, religious + cult themes, description of the execution, description of injuries.
word count: 2.7 k~
note: I'm here again after all this time. (ーー;)ノ Brought you some Dottore, enjoy. Maybe there will be a second part, but I don't promise anything.
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Scarlet blood spurts out and a severed head rolls down. Empty eye sockets are directed to the heavens, a happy smile frozen on your face, anticipating the end of torment, now sealed on your face with an eternal mask. Dottore feels his fingertips go numb, he stares blankly at your head and hair, matted with blood. The mechanical heart, which has never failed before, either skips beats or beats quickly.
His ears feel like they are filled with cotton and he hears no sound, the emptiness fills his heart drop by drop, leaving no space for anything else. What is this feeling called? Dottore tries to distract himself from the picture before his eyes and frantically tries to remember the right word, but his thoughts move slowly like flies stuck in honey. A flash of insight and a bitter taste appears in his mouth. Despair. A drop of blood runs down his chin; he didn’t notice when he bit his lip with his teeth. It seems that only ten seconds have passed since the execution, but to Dottore they seem like an eternity.
Out of the corner of his eye, he notices tears running down the Tsaritsa’s face. There is no trace left of her usually cold personality. The harbingers look no better, for each of them there has long been no one left more important than you, and to lose you like that was terrible. More painful than the worst wound they received in life.
The one whom the archons call the Creator begins their speech with an unpleasant grin, full of self-satisfaction. They talks about the impostor and how proud they are of their dear followers for capturing you for him. He is sick of looking at the other archons; the proud appearance of Morax and the other archons makes him rage. It spreads like hot lava from the heart to the hands, convulsively clenching in impatience, the desire to strangle this ancient reptile overwhelms Dottore.
Your most loyal follower huh? The fool who fell for the fake sent by Celestia. He was the first to accept this abomination without doubting it even for a second. You were so different, your auras were completely different. A liar or a pathetic fool, whichever was true, Morax was disgusting.
When the fake finishes their incredibly pathetic speech, it will be their turn: Tsaritsa, the harbingers, the ordinary Fatui, they will all have to lose their lives.
Mentally, Dottore estimates the distance to the platform where Celestia’s puppet stands. Even though his delusion had been taken away just like the rest of the harbingers, that didn't mean he was going to give up. Dottore runs his tongue over teeth, checking their sharpness and squints with satisfaction, feeling the salty taste of blood appearing in his mouth. There is nothing worse than an animal driven into a corner, knowing that there is no chance of salvation, but still intending to resist.
When he is led past the platform to the guillotine, he will take the chance and take revenge. Although it would be more correct to call this the restoration of justice. You were innocent, You were their god.
When the fake solemnly spreads his hands and orders the executions to continue, the sky of Teyvat darkens, anyone could feel the fury of the elements. Dottore exhales in amazement, drops of your blood slowly rising into the air and changing their color from red to gold. The crackling of electricity, the smell of burning, strong gusts of wind, the temperature drops lower every second, plants are spreading across the entire area, bright and screaming about their toxicity, the earth trembles underfoot, on the horizon he can see the sea rising in waves, each of which is higher than the previous ones, threatening to flood the whole harbor.
The fake looks at what is happening in shock, but does not have time to say a single word. Lightning falls from the sky and strikes Celestia's puppet, one after the other in an endless stream, they follow each other. Dottore's heart is filled with gloomy triumph and at the same time unbearable bitterness. If Teyvat could have intervened directly, why didn’t he save you, their Creator? Why didn't the world prevent your death? Or was it your desire to reveal the truth only when nothing will it be impossible to fix it, leaving them all with eternal regret?
When the lightning stops falling from the sky, the fake turns into a smoking piece of charred flesh. The Archons look in surprise at the one they praised as the Creator, understanding slowly appears on their faces. One by one they helplessly turn their heads towards your body. Morax is the first to fall to his knees in front of your head, Dottore sees how his fingers tremble as he hesitates to touch your blood-stained cheek.
Tsaritsa looks contemptuously at each of these traitors. Dottore knows that now she would with great pleasure impale each of the archons on ice spikes if only the shackles did not block her powers.
In a half-strangled voice, Morax orders the Millelith to release all of them.
After being released, Dottore and the rest of the harbingers follow Tsaritsa as she goes to the archons and… your body. Standing next to it is unbearably painful, his eyes cling to every scratch on your face, his heart falls into a cold empty hole, now that he can clearly see your empty eye sockets.
As far as he knew, the Electro Archon was to blame for this; he would have broken every bone in her hands, and then lowered her into a vat of acid and watched as her flesh peeled off from the bones.
Tsaritsa's voice is cold and gloomy when she speaks to the rest of the archons.
"There is no punishment that can atone for your sin and death will not be your salvation. You will live the rest of your eternity in pain, I promise you all that."
A drop of your golden blood slowly moves in the air, Dottore follows their movement with his eyes. Was there a chance to save you, why did everything turn out that way? Why he, Tsaritsa and the other harbingers turned out to be so weak and useless? They too were sinners, those who did not save and they will bear this sin until the end of their lives.
Dottore could still feel the remnants of your aura, faintly, but he could, and he closed his eyes, absorbing this feeling, which was soon to dissipate. Or not? Dottore's eyes widened, an arrow of hope piercing his heart. Your spirit was still here, weak, fading, still existing, attached to drops of golden blood.
"The Creator has not left us yet, his spirit is still here."
The face of Tsaritsa and the other archons lit up with faint hope, their gazes were directed at him, all-consuming, unwavering attention emanated from them, however, such a gaze was directed at Dottore from everyone who was present in the square.
"Collect all the blood, not a single drop should be lost; the soul of the Creator is attached to it. I can try to save Their Grace, but we must act quickly before their spirit dissipates."
Dottore is determined. He will succeed, he cannot fail, he will not make mistakes, just not in such an important matter as this. Despite the mental pep talk he gave himself, Dottore's palms become treacherously cold and he begins to nervously tap a rhythm with his fingers on his thigh.
He needed a workplace, his laboratories would be ideal, but he was not sure that your spirit would survive the trip to Snezhnaya. He had to act quickly, Dottore could feel the grains of time slipping through his fingers.
When he and the clones find themselves in the silence of the temporary laboratory provided by Qixing, Dottore allows himself only one nervous sigh before taking control of his emotions. The time for all the emotions will come later, when he successfully returns life to you.
He begins to give instructions to the clones, who are preparing everything necessary for Dottore's most important work. It’s good that he managed to drive out all the traitors of the archons and other personalities who tried to be present, even Tsaritsa, nothing should distract him, the price of a mistake is too great.
The punishment of the archons was temporarily postponed, Tsaritsa said that when you become alive again, you yourself will determine the punishment for these traitors. It's when, not if. Now the whole seven had to destroy Celestia, which had committed the unforgivable.
Your headless body lying on the operating table looked foreign, wrong of all places, you should never have ended up here. You should have enjoyed the balls held in your honor, the gifts offered to you by your followers.
To begin with, it was worth understanding whether it made sense to try to restore your human shell or was it already in a completely unusable state? A severed head is a big obstacle to the restoration of your body, but Dottore had no guarantee that your soul could take root in a synthetic body, and the ability to create it in a short time, so there was only one possibility left. It was necessary to attach your head back to the body, check the body for damage to internal organs and, if there were any, heal them. Before you begin the process of returning your soul to the mortal coil.
The test results showed, although not the most comforting results, but everything was not so bad, of course, with the exception of the severed head. General severe exhaustion of the body, which will be corrected by the correct diet after your resurrection, which will definitely be successful. It couldn't fail. After all, if he failed, would there be any point in his existence, in the existence of nations, in Teyvat? Without you, nothing made sense.
Dottore shakes his head, driving away bad thoughts and returns to work. In order for the head to subsequently work as it should, each nerve and blood vessel had to be connected correctly. Painstaking work that requires a lot of patience, well, Dottore never complained about its lack.
Hour after hour, the clock ticked peacefully in the background, measuring time, while Dottore and his clones painstakingly put everything back together as it was originally. The last batch of stitches signals the end of such a complex operation. The muscles of his back ached in protest against the same position for hours. Dottore looked at his work satisfactorily, touching the stitches and then immediately pursed his lips in regret. This is not how it was supposed to be. He walked over to the table and gave himself an injection that instantly banished any fatigue and made his mind crystal clear again. In a day he will definitely feel very bad when the kickback comes, but you were definitely worth it. In fact, if he were now offered to give his life in exchange for yours, he would agree without hesitation.
It was time to start the second stage, it was necessary to do something with your eyes. Unfortunately, all he could offer you now were temporary prosthetics, not as advanced as those he and the clones used. He will definitely replace them later with better ones.
One of the many things he regretted was that he didn't get to see your eyes, they should have been gorgeous. In legends they were described as unearthly, as if entire constellations and the endless night sky were reflected in them.
As gently as possible, Dottore cleaned your eye holes from dirt and blood, carefully stretched the wires to the back lobe of the brain, to which the optic nerves are attached, and finally inserted the prostheses. Dentures you should never have. The color looked inappropriate, too artificial, alien, wrong, Dottore swallowed dryly. He sits down on a chair nearby and wearily hides his face in his hands. Fatigue, not physical, but moral, covers him in a wave and the heaviness in his chest does not allow him to breathe. He knows that it will only disappear when you take your breath and your heart beats again.
Dottore was never particularly religious in his youth, he was interested in the story of the creation of the world and definitely admired you, but there was never any real reverence in his feelings then. Everything gradually began to change when he joined Fatui. Every year he learned more and more about you and his devotion to you only grew, gradually completely capturing his heart until there was nothing left in him except you.
All the humanity that was in him, no matter how little it was, was intended only for you. All his achievements were dedicated to you. He all belonged to you, only you. And at the moment there was nothing he could want more than to see you alive. The same desire burned with a passionate flame in the eyes of his clones standing nearby.
The last stage is the most important. Dottore carefully inserts a needle into your vein and begins to pour your blood back into your body. He feels your spirit waver, as if you doesn’t want to return.
He looks over your body; bright blue veins stand out on your pale skin, there are various bruises and scratches on your body, which he, of course, treated, but to his regret the healing was not instantaneous. This picture breaks him into fragments, leaving a cold emptiness instead of his mechanical heart, his inability to correct what happened. Was there any point in all his knowledge that he had been collecting for centuries if now it was almost completely useless at the most important moment of his life. All that Dottore can do now is pray, pray to you, to the elements, to Teyvat. Please come back, please, please, please…
He knew it was a selfish desire, this world wasn't worthy of you, they weren't worthy of you, not after what happened. But hope, a feeling that had not come to him for a very long time since the time of the academy, flared up in his soul. The last drops of blood poured back into your body and deathly silence fell in the laboratory. Those few seconds when nothing happened seemed like an eternity, frightening, cold, hopeless to Dottore. The claws of the unknown tore his heart apart, did he succeed? Would you like to return?
Your trembling breath and wide-open eyes bring Dottore into a state close to euphoric. You were alive again, relief fills him and makes him dizzy with happiness. He feels something wet rolling down his cheek and wipes it away in confusion. A tear. A lot of time had passed since the last time he cried, and he had definitely never had tears of happiness until that moment. Well, you always made him feel an unusual amount of different emotions.
When you go into a coughing fit, one of the clones instantly brings you a mug of water and looks at your face with concern. You take a few greedy sips, and then turn your confused gaze on him, gradually filling with fear. Dottore's heart clenches unpleasantly, this is not how you were supposed to look at him. Not what he wants and not how it should be.
You try to say something, but again break into a cough. Dottore instantly approaches, he wants… to console you, to assure you that you are safe, but the words lie like dead weight on his tongue. He carefully reaches out to your hand, but freezes millimeters from your skin. He felt confused, useless. You will probably be uncomfortable with the touches of a sinner like him.
You carefully peer into his face, by the way your gaze moves along the features of his face, it seems to him that you are looking for an answer to some very important question for you. And after a few moments, the answer seems to satisfy you, a relieved sigh escapes your lips and you reach out with your hand to his, carefully placing your hand in his.
Dottore swallows dryly, warmth rising up his arm from where you touch.
"Everything will be fine, Your Grace. Now everything will be fine, I promise."
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Reblogs, comments, are always greatly appreciated! ヽ(o^ ^o)ノ
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phthalomushroom · 2 months
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The Family (5)
last next
pairings: modern!mafia!aemondxreader
summary: You had left Kings Landing and the Targaryen family four years ago. Now back and living with your old roommate you realize that the life you had thought you escaped had seemingly been waiting for you. But will the family really let you go? Will the people you left behind forgive you? Can you forget the past and look to the future?
warnings: language, mentions of trauma, stalking, mention of injury
word count: 1.8K
note: I am so sorry for the late post, the words were just not wording and I needed more time to figure out what I wanted to be said. But I finished this chapter and I hope you all enjoy!
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Baela and you had split up only a couple of hours ago. She had gotten a call and had needed to leave right away. You had asked what was going on but she assured you everything was fine before leaving.
You still had some errands to do, which lead you across the city to the East side. By the time you finished it had gotten pretty late. Most of the stores were closed and the taxi services were no longer in commission. You looked at your phone to see when the next train was, seeing that you needed to make it fifteen blocks in order to catch the last train for the red line. You began walking, taking in the cool evening air when you had an odd, gut feeling that something wasn’t right.
The streets were a little too quiet, which was never the case during this time. Usually there would be groups of people out walking, people on their balconies laughing but tonight there was just…quiet. You took a look over your shoulder to try and ease your thoughts only to see the man Daemon had mentioned earlier following you.
You looked forward, picking up the pace as you turned the corner. You thought that maybe it was a coincidence but that would be impossible. There were no coincidences in this city, you of all people should know that. 
You were made keenly aware that you were nowhere near your apartment nor the train station and there was no way you were going to end up in a subway possibly cornered. You were up on the East side, a side that you didn’t venture much on your own, meaning you were very unfamiliar with it. This was supposed to be a safe part of the city since the rich and high class lived here, there  was no way something would happen to you.
Clearly not, as the footsteps behind you got louder, making you instinctually speed up. 
This shouldn’t be happening, Daemon should have intervened by now. Unless that whole conversation was just to get under your skin, to throw you off. 
What a prick. 
However as much as Daemon was a prick you weren’t willing to find out if he was a liar.
You had grabbed your mace out of your bag, your body going into autopilot as your senses tried to assess how close this man was getting to you. You took a turn ending up on a familiar cobblestone street and realized exactly where you could go. You turned down another corner, heading for the brownstone at the end of the street. 
You took the stairs two at a time, repeatedly knocking on the door quickly as you watched from the corner of your eye as the man continued to approach. 
The heavy wooden door opened to reveal a shirtless and very confused Aemond Targaryen. 
“What-”
You wrapped your arms around him, pushing your way inside as you pushed him up against the wall and out of view of the street, kicking the door shut. You peaked through the side window, moving the curtain to see the man that was following you get picked up by a black Audi before speeding away. 
“Happy to see you too.”
You looked up to see Aemond smirking at you. You quickly pulled away, taking a couple steps back as you shoved your mace back in your bag. “Your guard dog take the night off?”
Aemond’s eyebrows furrowed, noting what was just in your hand. “Huh?”
“Someone was following me. I thought Daemon was on protection detail.”
His face twisted before he grabbed your hand, taking you up the stairs of the foyer and into the kitchen. He grabbed his phone off the kitchen island.
He started scrolling through contacts. “Help yourself to anything you want, I have to make a call.”
“I think I’ll just go-”
“Sit.”
You instinctively took a seat at the island, watching him walk around the corner to where his office was. You rolled your eyes at yourself, right back here and right back into your old ways. 
You set your shopping bags on the ground and put your coat over your chair heading over to the oven where something was simmering. It looked like Aemond had just finished making some mac n’ cheese.
He did say help yourself.
You grabbed a bowl from the shelf and supplied some golden crescents to your bowl. You had just sat down and taken a forkful to your mouth when Aemond came back in, with a shirt on, as he tied up his hair into a low bun.
He looked kinda pretty as a few of the shorter strands framed his face. 
He smirked, noting you had been staring. “Eating my food already.”
You blinked, looking away. “You said help yourself.”
“Indeed I did.” He grabbed a bowl, joining you across the island.
It was silent for a while, both of you eating your portions. It felt… normal. Like old times, a chill went down your spine at that. You needed to change that.
“Everything okay?”
Aemond’s face darkened. “It will be.”
“Is Daemon-”
“He’s being taken care of by the family doctor.”
You nodded. “The same one who stitched me up?”
His eyes met yours before quickly looking at the counter, he cleared his throat. “Yeah.”
You put your fork down, sitting back in your chair crossing your arms. “I’m going to need an explanation.”
He mirrored your stance, leaning back against the counter. “I don’t think that's a good idea.”
You started getting up. “Then I’m leaving.”
“No.” He reached over the counter to grab your hand. 
You looked up at him. “You were a real asshole the last time we spoke, you know that right?”
He let out a sigh, letting your hand go. “I know. I… I didn’t expect to see you and I was drunk.”
“You never acted like that while you were drunk before.”
“That’s because I dated you.”
You felt your face heat up at that. “Maybe you shouldn’t make it a habit. You're a bit of a mean drunk.”
He let out a small chuckle. “I wasn’t that bad.”
“You were rude.”
“I was flirting.”
“You’re engaged.”
He frowned. “I know.”
“We’re going to have to talk about it. At least to make peace.”
His eyes softened. “I-I can’t.”
You moved to grab your stuff as you made your way to the door. More secrets, more difficulties. You needed the whole truth or nothing and you were beginning to grow tired of being the only one who wanted to have a peaceful life. 
“It’s the Lannisters.”
Your feet stopped moving, you almost dropped your things. You slowly turned towards him. “You said they were gone.”
“They were but- but things got complicated. I am going to take care of it.”
“What happened, Aemond?”
“You came back, you weren’t supposed to come back and then everything got more complicated and then Alys-”
“Slow down.” You couldn’t make sense of anything he was trying to say.
He was breathing quickly and his words were beginning to jumble to the point where understanding him was impossible. Tears looked like they were ready to spill from his eyes. You dropped your stuff, walking over to him and taking his face in your hands. 
You forced him to look at you. “Breathe, Aemond.”
You moved your hands down so they were rubbing up and down his arms. “You need to breathe.”
He leaned forward, putting his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. 
Then another. 
You closed your eyes, leaning into him and the familiar sage scent that he got from using his body wash. Despite the years, despite the pain, despite everything you still missed him. He was your everything when you were a teen, he was the only family you had at one point and now, being this close to him, you wondered how you had gone so long without him.
But he was engaged, and as much as you wanted to be selfish you just couldn’t do it. 
You pulled away, taking a step back from him. “The Lannisters are back?”
He seemed disappointed. 
He nodded, rubbing his face. “They’ve been back for a couple months now.”
“You should have told me.”
He shook his head. “No, I don’t want you involved in this again.”
“Aemond I am involved in this, I mean I was being followed home. Daemon got hurt. It’s like five years ago all over again.”
“No it's not.” He came towards you taking your hands and rubbing his thumb in a circle on the back of your hand. “I’m not going to let that night happen again. I’m not gonna lose you, do you understand me?”
He was looking intensely into your eyes, then his gaze moved to your lips. You hadn’t realized he had gotten so close.
“Aemond.” You breathed. Your head began to spin as if you were drunk, your thoughts going quiet as your body started to move closer to his as if you were magnets destined to meet again. 
“I’ve missed you so much.” He leaned down, his breath fanning your face.
“Aemond.” The noise you made was a mixture of a whimper and a plea as Aemond leaned closer meeting your lips with his.
He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer as his tongue invaded your mouth. You snaked your hands up into his hair, pulling the strands from the bun he wore. He moaned, pulling you impossibly closer as he nipped your lower lip. You felt like you were on fire, as your teeth clashed, the kiss becoming more hungry. 
More desperate. 
Suddenly his phone rang, causing the two of you to jump apart, finally being brought back to reality. He took his phone out of his back pocket, glancing at the caller ID.
“I have to take this.” 
You nodded.
“You aren’t leaving tonight,” he said. “You can stay in my room, I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“Don’t you still have a guest room?”
His face turned red. “Not anymore.”
He turned, heading towards his office as he answered his phone, closing the door behind him.
You made your way upstairs, heading past where you remembered the guest room to be. Against your better judgment you peered inside to see the room that used to house a queen sized bed now be filled with boxes of all kinds of things. 
You crept inside, looking into one of the closer boxes. You knew you shouldn't be snooping but after everything that happened tonight you thought fuck it. 
You reached into one of the opened boxes pulling out a small onesie. One that was meant for a baby.
Your heart felt like it shattered.
Yeah, maybe you should have minded your business.
Tag List: @dixie-elocin @liannafae @toodlesxcuddles @watercolorskyy @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @namelesslosers @tssf-imagines @xcharlottemikaelsonx @yourbane @beary-rambles @a-beaverhausen @lightblindingme
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saetoshi · 1 year
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contrary to popular belief, nagi seishiro does not enjoy being home alone. (nor does he look forward to being home alone.)
at least, not after you moved in with him.
he thinks it’s a bit funny, actually, how he managed to live his whole life without you around only to feel empty when you’re gone. (or maybe he’s just too sleepy to think properly.)
he groggily reaches for his phone. his eyes widen when he realizes it’s not even eight a.m. yet.
his eyes droop as he sends you a text to check if you arrived at the train station. he frowns a bit when you tell him you’re on your way to your parent’s house.
he’d secretly hoped that there were no trains going out, and that your only option would be to head back home to him. (he’d also hoped that would’ve meant you’d cuddle him all day long.)
he hates it when you’re not home. he hates it so much.
he can’t sleep properly when you’re gone. (a bold faced lie, you’d told him when he first whined to you about it.)
he pouts at the picture of you in the screen, finger hovering over the call button. he doesn’t think about it for too long before deciding to call you.
the line doesn’t ring for long before you pick up. he doesn’t even let you say something first.
“when are you coming home?”
his face softens when he hears your laughter through the phone.
“sei,” you sigh, “i just left.”
he huffs, “‘s not what i asked.”
“i’ll be back tomorrow.”
he groans. you laugh. (he doesn’t find it funny. in fact, it just makes him miss you more.)
“seishiro,” you start, “it’s just one day.”
“‘s too long.” he pouts.
“you’ll be fine,” you comfort.
“what if i’m not?”
“then call reo,” you offer, “he’ll help you out.”
“he solves things with money,” he sniffles, “you solve things with love.”
you snort, “i only do that because we’ve got no money.”
he laughs softly, “ouch.”
there’s a brief pause.
nagi yawns, “i miss you.”
he can practically see your chest puff out with satisfaction.
“do you, now?” a small smile blooms on his face when he hears your smug tone.
“yeah,” he yawns again, “miss you a lot.”
“well,” your voice sounds gentle, “i miss you a lot too.”
“we can go to that place you wanted when you get back.” (he’s yawning an awful lot by now.)
he hears you hum in agreement. his eyes start drooping.
“we can play this game i got too,” his voice is laced with sleepiness.
“you’re getting awfully chatty,” you yawn.
he drowsily hums, “don’ wanna hang up.”
“sei,” your voice sounds soothing, “you’re clearly half-asleep.”
“no ‘m not.”
“seishiro.”
he yawns, “can’t sleep without you.”
“liar,” he can hear the smile on your lips, “you’re falling asleep right now.”
there’s a pause after that. you call his name, he quietly grunts in response.
“i’ll tell you what,” you sigh, “i’m gonna stay with you until you fall asleep.”
“promise?” his voice is groggy.
“i promise.”
his eyes are fully closed by now, and he’s barely even conscious. still, a smile makes its way to his face when he hears your soft humming through the phone.
there’s only one thing on his mind as he drifts to sleep: he can’t wait for you to get home.
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kneelingshadowsalome · 9 months
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Hi! If you're still taking requests I'd love request a drabble about the moment when Konig and Reader first noticed each other and what they thought/felt during that moment based on your "Just Friends" fic.
Btw I love your work and oh my god, it's perfection, absolutely amazing. Super excited to read chapter 3&4 (no rush take your time!!)
Thabj you!!!
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Even Demons are Lonely
Wordcount: 3.8 k
Summary: König sees reader for the first time. Soon, the promise to never touch someone as lovely as her turns into a vow to never leave her side.
Tags/warnings: F!Reader, König POV, Just Friends universe. Angst, twisted & fluffy feelings, pining, obsessive behavior, stalking, panty stealing, mentions of past trauma, abuse and patricide, yandere!König falling in love (=being delusional). Mild sexual and violent themes. 
A/N: I did take my time with this one... 🩷 And it's only König POV, but I hope you enjoy! 💋
"Abashed the Devil stood, and felt how awful goodness is, and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely – saw, and pined His loss..."
– John Milton, Paradise Lost
Purgatory.
That's the word that stuck to him when he was learning English at school, simply because it was an accurate definition of how he felt.
Adults used to say there is heaven and hell, and then this world, the world of humans, somewhere in between. They said he would go to heaven after he died and that bad people would go to hell.
They were all liars because hell already existed here on Earth. He had lived there ever since he was born.
The first memories of the cutting are shallow and pale, like they happened to some other boy. With every hit and cut and every cry, the sounds turned muddy until he was mute too, until all he could hear was mother's crying and Papa's roaring. The old man always got more mad when people cried and cowered. 
That's when he knew he would someday do something about bad people, that crying and cowering and begging wasn't going to help. It was the birth hour of hope and heaven. He dreamed of killing his father, killing his "friends", killing everyone who looked at him like he was a freak. 
He soon learned that this was not what people associated with heaven at all. He learned that there was a word for people like him, for phantoms who were morbidly interested in death and decay.
Ghoul.
A grave robber and a corpse feaster he was not, but neither was he going to pretend that some people didn't deserve to be gutted. If being normal meant he should just play along and pretend that there was justice in this world, then he was happy to be morbid. A little ghoul boy who grew up in hell, who dreamed of heaven, who slipped behind the thin veil between the worlds when he was four, who learned how to make the knives dance while everyone around him suffered.
He learned to cry and beg before he learned to speak, but when the words finally started to make sense to him, he had no use for them. No one wanted to talk to him, so he settled to observe. Life was a film reel running by, and words were useless when all he wanted to do was roar. There was a growing, gaping maw inside him, shrieking and spitting blood while he was without a voice.
It took a while to make Papa cry and beg. But he begged, eventually. In his last words, he tried to hide behind a woman’s skirt. 
"Don't do this to your mother," was a plea that didn't ignite mercy: it drove him off the ledge. Looking at the horrible excuse for a man squirming at his feet made him realize he should've released his mother from this demon years ago. He was too weak, and he vowed to himself, to the whole world, that he would never be weak again.
………………
Sometimes, a glimpse of true heaven can be seen on a clear summer's day when the sun shines, when bees are buzzing and a beautiful voice sings a love song on the radio. Beautiful, peaceful things only add to his suffering. They are simply evidence gathered – examples of everything he will never have. 
The air clots inside his mask with a brew of old sweat and acrid gunpowder. It's usually enriched by a hot desert wind or the stench of dust and emissions, a city's rotten core. It would feel odd to be met with a fresh breeze or the smell of rust and smoke than have them dampened by the baggy mask. He's certain that it would only be painful to feel the full brunt of the world on his naked face again. His enemies can't see him when he kills them, so they can't haunt him either.
He is the only ghoul here. He is the one who haunts.
He's learned to let love and peace go. He came here to reap; that's his job. Ghouls cannot love or be loved. They are supposed to get rid of the plague, do what normal people can't do, what good people deem hideous and wrong.
People have always been alien to him: they both know something he cannot seem to decode and are unaware of the constant presence of the Maw. He has to feed it in order to not be swallowed by it himself. It helps with the constant yelling for a while. 
His father was the first demon to be punished, but he has learned that all demons are liars when they beg. They don't know what real hell is like. That's why he didn't give mercy to his father, and that's why he doesn't give mercy to them, either. It's not hell, it's not heaven, so he must be in a limbo state in between. 
That's why he calls this place purgatory. 
………………
He sees a woman under the sun one day.
The sheer sight of her sitting there on her little blanket spread over the grass, dressed in a pure white dress is like a torturing dream from above. It stops him in his tracks like there is suddenly an invisible wall in front of him, forcing him to halt.
His heart is pounding, but that's not new. His heart is always tight and racing, and that's why it's better to have a heavy gun in his hands than hold onto nothing at all; it's better to do something than do nothing at all. The only thing that calms the endless roil inside him is work; when there's no work, it helps to go outdoors, somewhere between the shadows between thick trees.
Trees are better than people...
But they're not better than a woman like her.
He knows his mind plays tricks sometimes with females. That is why at first he thinks that the creature before him is not from this world either. How could someone like her even end up here? There are few ladies in the base, and none of them have picnics; none of them look like angels.
She looks up at the sky, at the single cloud drifting across the cerulean blue that hurts his eyes. Sun shines on her exposed throat, her stare is dreamy as she basks in the warmth and raises an apple to her lips. 
He stops breathing as she takes a bite, fearing it might stain the beautiful white dress from how juicy it is. The runaway apple juice drips down her chin, but she catches it with her finger, then sweeps the sweet taste of it back into her mouth. 
Her lips hug the finger gently as she savors the treat, and his breath returns to him, heavy and with a pang, like someone just punched him between the lungs.
She can't be human... 
He wonders if she's even real. 
He's hungry, but the need to devour this woman turns into a need to worship her before he can even decipher what is happening to him. He would grovel at her feet if that's what it took to get her to feed him some of that fruit. His mind goes numb from the need to march there and hug her. Just hold her, so close that he forgets what it is to breathe.
He knows she would only scream, and it's good he's been walking in the shade. It's good that she can't see him unless she turns her head. Because she must be an angel, and angels have no business with ghouls. 
He should go and leave her be... Mortals he can want, humans he can torture, but a celestial being he could never touch. The wind carries a whiff of apple juice to his nose; it overrides the stench of sweat and gun oil and smoke. 
And then the angel turns her head. 
It's Judgment Day, but she doesn't condemn him. She blinks a few times, lashes fluttering like he's another sun, the dreaded black sun, and she can't bear to look directly at him. But there's no disgust, no uneasiness, there's no fear. There's only shyness and the smallest smile. 
The pain inside his gut turns into a brutal stab, pure suffering. He hasn't hoped for anything for a long, long time. Now hope bleeds into his stomach with golden tingles, like those rays of sun that caress her skin.
He thought good things would feel… well, good, but to his horror, they feel painful too. She's painfully sweet. Even the demon inside him falls silent, the only demon he cannot destroy. It's finally quiet, as it should be. Everything in him bows to this greater power of Her. 
But she can't be real... His mind is sick and has finally conjured up the most beautiful thing he can never, ever have. He's been called a freak, he's been called a dumb ugly giant, he's been called so many things, but he's not stupid enough to think that the creature hugged by the golden aura of light is meant for him. 
So he squares his shoulders and pushes through the invisible wall, back behind the veil, back to where he belongs, and leaves the heavenly apparition in the sun.
………………
The next time he sees her is after a mission and inside the base. 
He brings mud and blood inside after a few rainy days spent in the mountains. He's so soaked that not even the 3-hour flight managed to dry all the dirt. She's waiting for him, or that's how it feels like when she gives him a small, relieved smile and starts to clean the mess he and every other operator leave behind.
His angel is not only a celestial visage but a cleaner.
She keeps the building that houses people who destroy life, clean. She scrubs the filth killers like him bring inside the cold, dead compound built on what used to be a forest full of birds, life, and wind through the trees. 
No one thanks this girl as she humbly dusts a table or mops the floor. No one understands that she's a saint for coming to the purgatory and making it a more decent place for the demons and ghouls to live. And she's relieved every time he comes back unharmed. She's happy to see he's alive. There's someone waiting for him. And not just someone, not just anyone, but an angel.
It's unbelievable how no one has claimed her yet. She has no one to keep her safe, and it makes his hands twitch. If he was her protector, she would never have to work again.
She's not like the rest of them: she doesn't turn her gaze away when he flicks a knife out. She likes to watch him make them dance. It's a ritual that makes him invincible on the battlefield. He used to do it every morning before school to stay safe – there were no angels back then to keep him alive.
He almost stops the first time he sees her watching how he goes through the rite. 
No, look away, little angel... You're not supposed to see this; this is a death dance, it's filthy, demonic magic.
But she's not afraid of his blades or the way he weaves his spell of protection. The girl follows his moves entranced. Her eyes shine, and he nearly drops the blade – he hasn't dropped a knife since he was ten – because there's hunger in her stare. Not as fathomless as his, but deep enough for him to recognize it. 
His angel is lonely and trapped too. 
He completes the dance, returns the knife to his pocket, and looks back, straight back.
She doesn't look away. She doesn't wince or lean back, no: she leans forward, and he can see it, the way her pulse flutters on her neck, the way her mouth opens even more, how a tiny pink tongue sweeps across her lips as she looks back into the jaws of damnation. It takes him a while to realize his angel must be wet, just from seeing how good he is with a knife. The notion doesn't only make his cock jolt; it throws him headfirst into the abyss. 
You'll never get rid of me now, the demon growls before he can choke him silent.
Her wet eyes, her wet, promising lips belong in a realm of madness. She's not filthy; his angel could never be filthy. But she's seducing him, which means she might seduce other men too. 
Has someone claimed her already…? 
What if she has a lover? Do they make her legs shake, do they make her mew?
Who does he have to kill?
………………
He breaks into her room that night. 
He only meant to stand watch and see if someone creeps to her in the cover of darkness. He thinks about different ways to kill her lover as he waits near her door. Should he just strangle them when they enter her room? Make her an offering, let her know she could have a far more powerful male if she wants?
No, he must use a knife... She will get wet if he uses a knife.
But no one appears: he is the only shadow in the dark hall, and after midnight, he decides to take a look at his innocent, sleeping angel. Just one look.
Her domain is full of softness, and he has to take a few deep breaths before he continues. Her world is so different from his that he nearly turns back and closes the door to paradise. But then her breathing calls to him, causing him to take a few steps. She sleeps with her window open, likes to listen to the sound of night birds before she falls asleep – just like he does…
The demon is awake in an instant and grabs him by the throat. 
No. 
Don’t look. If you look, she will steal your soul.
He freezes before he reaches her bed. His gaze sweeps her room instead, and the demon pants at the sight. Her dresses are laid out on a clothing rack: they salute him like a row of colorful flowers. Flowing and singing like a river, they hit him with a breeze made of life and all things good. 
She has a little armchair filled with cushions, and there's more softness and beauty everywhere he looks; he can see it even in the darkness of the night. Her delicate perfume that follows him as he follows her around the base lingers in the air and mixes with the distant birdsong and moonlight that shift the curtains in her room.
There's art on her walls, lively houseplants on the window sill, she has collected a cavalcade of cute little things on top of her drawer: nail polish and sea shells and beeswax candles and a piece of driftwood, a bottle of that perfume she uses, decorative lights above it all, placed around a small mirror. 
He wants all of that. 
He wants light and living things and greenery – he never had plants at home – he wants softness and cute little items, he wants to listen if the seashell still roars with the crashing waves were he to bring it to his ear. His mama always told him seashells remember the ocean because it used to be their home…
He wants her to light a honeyed candle and give him a bite of that apple, catch the juice as it runs down his scarred chin, or better yet, kiss it away before it falls. He wants to taste what's between her thighs. She must taste like honey and heaven.
One of the drawers is open, and from it, a torrent of cute little underthings is spilling out; they almost cascade on the floor. In different colors, too, and his hand reaches out and takes one before he can even think. He steals it like it's candy, then turns around with a stiff back and shoulders heavy from the sin he just committed.
He's about to go to the door, but her soft breathing calls him back. He tries to calm the demon - the girl can't steal anything: there's nothing left to steal. He has no soul, so he doesn't have to fear her either. 
Taking a few steps, he takes the peek he shouldn't take because it will only prolong his sentence in purgatory. Little does the demon know that he would suffer eternally for one little glimpse… 
She's not cocooned inside her blanket as he thought she would be. He thought he would find her coiled into a fetal position, curled into safety, but instead, she's sleeping on her back, arms spread next to her face, looking like she just fell from heaven and is feeling a little dizzy from the fall. She's calm and innocent as the moonlight brushes her cheek, her face free from all worry.
Why is she so cute, why is she so sweet? 
She has no right. She should be up in heaven.
He almost crawls on top of her right then and there, because blinding want is nothing compared to this. He wants to breathe her, breathe with her, hold her gently, and have her smile at him when she wakes up. He doesn't want to ruin her… He just wants a taste, see if an angel would like to have a demon worship her. If his worship would mean anything, if it had any power to persuade her to like him... 
He would never kneel before anyone, but he would kneel before her. In spirit, he is on his knees, and the only thing that makes him suffer is the fear that she might not want him, a ruined temple haunted by old, hateful spirits.
The madness was right. Apparently, there was a soul to steal, a tiny broken mosaic piece left, for the angel has it now. She owns what's left of him, the haunted temple is hers if she would ever want to come visit. He would restrain all those monsters so that she can walk freely and explore all the things buried under the rubble.
Her underwear burns his palm like a flower on fire. He only then realizes that there are no actual flowers in her room. He wonders if she would give him a kiss if he were to bring her one. Or two. Or an entire bouquet…
The demon inside cuts him with a searing blade – stupid idiot – she doesn't want to kiss your mauled face or love your ghouls. There's no treasure hidden inside that filthy rubble, there's only shit and blood and festering vomit. Better to just take her right now, see how tight she is, how wide her eyes go when a proper man comes to assert his will and authority. The demon tells him to at least ruin that cute thing in his hand and throw it on the table. Imagine her shocked little face when she wakes up…
Tears brim, and the maw of hell laughs with a roar of raging fire. He forces both down with a swallow and a wrench that shuts his heart.
There's no way she would ever let a man like him inside her. He's a sickness; no, he's an entire plague. He could try to make love to her, and she would only cry and bleed to death.
The smooth place between her brows gains a wrinkle as if she can hear his thoughts but doesn't agree with them. A little whimper escapes her nose, her head nods on the pillow; it looks like an attempt to hide while you're tied and cannot move. 
Pretty angel is having a nightmare, and it's no wonder. Of course she can sense she's being visited by a monster. 
He turns to leave, and notices another colorful thing on the floor: her underwear, and not clean. She's slipped out of it before bed: his angel is naked under that blanket. His angel sleeps naked…
He wonders if she has touched herself before sleep. Not with feverish, stern hands, like he does, but softly, under that blanket, with her features melting into pleasure as she comes with sighs and a series of desperate little whimpers. 
His blood turns to hellfire as he drops the underwear he's holding. It falls right next to the intoxicating thing he picks up instead. Taking a deep inhale, he can finally smell her. Not just her perfume, but her. She smells of an angel and a woman, raw, perfect woman, and he knows he's lost. This is worse than any dream or demon; this is worse than anything ever before. There's no going back now. 
Her scent calls to him, those hands frame her face in a gesture of surrender. She smiled at him on that day under the sun, and she smiled at him today.
What if he's spent enough time in hell? What if it's possible to have a taste of heaven?
He can't help but wonder if his angel wants this too... 
“Engel,” he whispers into the night.
It takes only a second before she whimpers again. It's an answer, it's a yes, and his heart is full of tiny needles; they pinch him with terrible love and hope. The wrinkle has smoothed out, and his angel is smiling very, very softly. 
She's calling for him. How could he refuse?
His angel is full of light as he makes his decision. He whispers his apology, only in his mind and only in German, trusting that angels must know every language in the world. He asks for her forgiveness for all the things he's about to do to her. Then he promises he will come for her, that she doesn't need to worry: she has a guardian now and always will. She will be forever safe with him by her side. He will drive even her nightmares away.
Then he returns to his room so different from hers, returns to the realm of death and worships the thing he just stole, spraying it with hot, white love - the only thing inside him that can be called pure, the color of angels. It's only a matter of time before he gets to worship her in the flesh, unite with her, the soul who forgave his sins and slipped him the key to heaven.
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When The World Is Crashing Down [Chapter 5: Turn Off The Lights And Turn Off The Shyness]
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Series summary: Your family is House Celtigar, one of Rhaenyra’s wealthiest allies. In the aftermath of Rook’s Rest, Aemond unknowingly conscripts you to save his brother’s life. Now you are in the liar of the enemy, but your loyalties are quickly shifting…
Chapter warnings: Language, warfare, Otto being the worst (per usual), violence, serious injury, cryptic Helaena prophecies, alcoholism/addiction, references to sexual content including noncon (18+), dragons, demented flirting, a late-night surprise, Larys Strong returns. 😞
Series title is a lyric from: “7 Minutes In Heaven” by Fall Out Boy.
Chapter title is a lyric from: “Of All The Gin Joints In All The World” by Fall Out Boy.
Word count: 6.3k.
Link to chapter list: HERE.
Taglist (more in comments): @tinykryptonitewerewolf @lauraneedstochill @not-a-glad-gladiator @daenysx @babyblue711 @arcielee @at-a-rax-ia @bhanclegane @jvpit3rs @padfooteyes @marvelescvpe @travelingmypassion @darkenchantress @yeahright0h @poohxlove @trifoliumviridi @bloodyflowerrr @fan-goddess @devynsficrecs @flowerpotmage @thelittleswanao3 @seabasscevans @hiraethrhapsody @libroparaiso @echos-muses @st-eve-barnes @chattylurker @lm-txles @vagharnaur @moonlightfoxx @storiumemporium @insabecs @heliosscribbles @beautifulsweetschaos @namelesslosers @partnerincrime0 @burningcoffeetimetravel-fics @marbles-posts @imsolence @maidmerrymint @backyardfolklore @nimaharchive @anxiousdaemon @under-the-aspen-tree @amiraisgoingthruit @dd122004dd @randomdragonfires @jetblack4real @joliettes
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The sun would burn him, but moonlight is kind. You’re on the balcony of Aegon’s bedchamber, two chairs, two cups of wine, another full pitcher on the table between you, a glass bottle of warm rose oil like amber, like gold, freckled with curled ruby petals. You’re dressed in your usual attire, simple designs and neutral colors, greys and creams and dusky pinks; tonight your gown is a flat, inky blue that matches the night sky. Aegon is wearing his unpretentious cotton trousers—stained with splotches of pomegranate juice, his recompense before you allowed him the wine—and a tiny braid in his shaggy, silver hair.
“I look like your house’s sigil,” Aegon says as he massages rose oil onto his forearms, his palms moving in large sloppy circles over a patchwork of scar tissue; you would do a better job, but he says he wants to learn how to care for his wounds on his own. His dragon ring—gold wings, jade eyes—gleams in the cool, ghostly moonshine. His words are teasing, but his tone is dark, troubled, weary. “Some red, some white. All ugly.”
You smile. You aren’t agreeing, just playing along. “Our motto is better than our flag.”
“I might have been inebriated during that lesson.”
“Perpetual Resurrection.”
Aegon looks at you, confounded. “Quite the mouthful.”
“Crabs molt throughout their lifetime. They crack their own skins open and climb out. If they get stuck, they die. If they get attacked before their new shell hardens, they die. But if they live…they’re a brand new version of themselves. Larger, wiser, more powerful.”
“Spiders,” Aegon says. “You’re trying to placate me with some rousing metaphor about what are essentially aquatic spiders.”
“They’re tasty too,” you say, grinning. “Especially when their shells are still soft. The cooks would serve them fried and us kids would sit around the table ripping the legs free and throwing them at each other.”
“What, you can eat the crab whole?!”
“Yes. Once the faces are cut off and the organs scooped out.”
He pretends to be repulsed by you. “Harrowing. Revolting. This is why Targaryens have always refused to breed with your kind.”
It’s funny, but it isn’t, because it’s a little too close to what you’re both thinking. Under the moonlight, you watch Aegon with the words caged behind your teeth: What do you want most? Who are you in your bones? Where would we be if the world wasn’t crashing down around us?
He slathers rose oil on his scarred right cheek—carelessly, distractedly—and accidentally pokes himself in the eye. “Ow.”
You ask: “Why do you want to do that yourself now?”
“To prove I can. To feel ever so slightly less like an invalid.” He takes a swig of his wine and gazes out over the nightscape ocean, stars in the sky, stars reflected on waves. “I am a study in irony. I spent my whole life waiting for it to be over. I poisoned myself, wasted years, resisted any semblance of usefulness. And now I finally have things I want to accomplish, I finally have reasons to live…and I’m trapped in the flesh of some pathetic, deformed, calamitously weak stranger.” He shakes his head, despondent, still not looking at you. “I can have a body that works. I can have a soul. But I can’t have both at the same time. It’s so fucking unfair.”
“I like you exactly as you are. Body and soul.”
“Everything I own, everything I’m given…” He stares down at his palms, open and empty. “It is destroyed, gets killed, goes mad. I ruin causes. I ruin people. I couldn’t do that to you.”
“I think I’m going to be ruined either way. I’d rather you be the one responsible.”
“Angel,” he says, low and serious. And now his gaze comes back to meet yours. “Who are you supposed to marry?”
You don’t want to tell him. You don’t want it to be true. Your voice is a whisper, almost lost in the night wind. “Cregan Stark.”
His eyes shoot wide, not just startled but terrified. “Stark?!”
You nod miserably. “My father took me and my sisters to Winterfell as part of a trade mission. Cregan decided he wanted me. I never encouraged it, I never desired it, I swear I didn’t—”
“No, I believe you,” Aegon says. He swallows a gulp of wine noisily, his hand shaking. “You were right. I can’t touch him. I can’t stop it. Not unless I win.”
“You don’t want the Iron Throne,” you tell Aegon, already knowing it’s true.
He snorts, a harsh derisive sound. “Who would?”
“Lots of people, I think. But not you or Rhaenyra.”
This intrigues him. “She doesn’t want it either?”
“Not from what I’ve seen and heard. Or, at least, she didn’t until Luke was killed. It changed her. I’m still not convinced she wants to be the queen, but she wants vengeance. And absolute power is a sure path to it.” And so the suffering continues, it goes around and around like a wheel, it is a debt that is never satisfied but only spread like plague.
“I don’t understand why Aemond did that,” Aegon says. His words are hushed, like he’s never spoken them to anyone but you and never will. “When he returned from Storm’s End, I held a feast for him. I had to, someone had to, someone had to pretend it was a victory instead of a murder. But it didn’t make any sense. Arrax was an inconvenience, not a threat. Luke was far more valuable as a hostage than a corpse. Aemond has always been the disciplined brother, the strategic one. I won’t claim to be clever. But I can’t find any strategy in what happened there.”
“Aemond has a temper. He is haunted, I believe. He is not above reckless fury.”
“No, evidently not.” Aegon sighs and rakes his fingers through his hair; again, his dragon ring glints under the moonlight, silver reflected off gold. “I’ll try to win,” he says. “For my family. For you.” Then he smirks, a grim attempt at humor. “Though I pity Cregan Stark for the paradise I will deprive him of.”
You do not return Aegon’s smile. “Don’t have too much pity for him. I have no expertise and I’m scared to death of it. I’d probably end up hiding under his bed, gripping the legs for dear life. He’d have to drag me out and tie me down.”
Aegon is alarmed; his storm-blue eyes are now focused, seeking. He is aware that he has wandered into a quagmire. He treads carefully. “When you say no expertise, you mean…none at all?”
“None.”
“But what about all of those anatomically-correct cock illustrations in your medical books?”
Another joke you can’t bring yourself to laugh at. You drink your wine to stop your lips from quivering, smooth the silk of your gown with a trembling hand. You see it no matter where you look: the pool of red on Theodora’s bedsheets, the dawning and inescapable realization on her face. This is her life now. This will always be her life.
Aegon says gently: “You have no expectation of pleasure.”
“It seems…inherently violent. For the woman. Even if it isn’t meant to be. Being overpowered, being invaded. The man decides when and how it happens. The woman endures.”
Aegon stares at you—biting his full lower lip, deeply somber—but doesn’t speak. He gives you the impression of someone with so many thoughts swimming around in his skull he is struggling to choose just one.
You smile dimly. “I’m sorry. I’ve made you sad.”
“I’m, um…” Aegon pauses to collect himself; he drains his wine cup and sets it back on the table. He is uncharacteristically cautious, like he thinks one unwise word will break the spell of whatever exists between you, this temptation, this need. “I’m saddened by the fact that you think of it that way. Because it doesn’t have to be…distasteful. Frightening. Coerced. It shouldn’t be, in fact.”
“I suppose I’ll find out if the Blacks win this war and Cregan Stark comes to claim me.”
Again, Aegon is exceptionally circumspect. “You’ve never wanted any man?”
“No. Never. Not in that way. Until…” You look at him, willing him to understand. I want you, but I’m so goddamn afraid to. I’m afraid of this world, I’m afraid there’s no hope left in it.
Slowly, Aegon smiles, soft and warm. And without any grasping, animalistic greed, he reaches over to rest a palm on your thigh, night-dark silk draped over skin that doesn’t flinch away from him, doesn’t even have to fight the instinct to. You place a hand on his. Your fingertips trace the gold wings of the green-eyed dragon ring he never takes off. And it is sealed like a covenant under the stars, this allegiance that neither of you could begin to explain to anyone else.
Footsteps are coming through Aegon’s bedchamber, heavy and purposeful. Otto Hightower appears in the balcony doorway. He fills the space like storm clouds flood a clear sky, like blood saturates linen. “You’re getting fat,” he tells Aegon gruffly.
“You’re getting ever more wrinkly and close to the afterlife.”
Otto glances to where Aegon’s hand still rests on your thigh and snaps: “If you’re well enough for that, perhaps you would deign to join us in the council chamber. You could shock everyone by actually acting like a king.”
Then he’s gone, taking those last echoes of the moment with him.
~~~~~~~~~~
“They know she’s here,” Larys Strong says. His audience is gathered around the table: Otto, Criston, Daeron, Grand Maester Orwyle, Tyland Lannister, Jasper Wylde, the knights of the Kingsguard, Aegon slumped way down in his seat and you beside him feeling his forehead worriedly for fever. Because Aegon and Daeron are in attendance, the council chamber is one chair short. Aemond has elected to be the person to stand; he lurks, severe and silent, in a corner of the room half-lit by torchlight. Daeron is dressed in a vibrant teal, Aegon in black; Aemond wears green, dark and brooding like envy.
Criston Cole asks: “How is that possible?”
Otto sighs irritably, rubbing his forehead. “We have spies. I’m sure Rhaenyra does as well.”
“Someone apparently glimpsed the prince regent…um…” Larys searches for the diplomatic word. “Escorting her through the streets of King’s Landing.”
“Dragging is what he did,” Aegon says, glaring at Aemond. “Abducting. Attacking. Imprisoning.” Aemond, arms crossed over his chest, studies his boots and pretends not to have heard him.
Larys continues: “The Blacks don’t believe that she is here of her own volition.”
Otto’s eyes narrow. “What, they think we’ve detained her as some sort of…healer? Hostage?”
“No, my lord,” Larys says, hesitantly, awkwardly. “They don’t imagine the king’s motivations to be that honorable.”
Otto is losing his patience. “Meaning?”
Larys toys with his restless, rodentlike hands. “They think she is being…violated.”
A stilted, scandalized hush falls over the table. “Good,” Aegon says, invoking gasps and gapes. “If Green supporters believe her to be my captive, they won’t harm her. And if the Blacks think she is being held here against her will, she would be safe with them as well. No matter who wins, she is not in danger.”
“That is hardly beneficial for your own reputation, Your Grace,” Tyland Lannister says.
Aegon grins beneath cold eyes; he shows his teeth like a wolf, like a dragon. “Was my reputation so pristine to begin with, Lord Lannister?”
“No, perhaps not,” Tyland mumbles. Still, he should not have said it aloud. Otto huffs another sigh and rolls his eyes.
“So you intend to keep a Celtigar daughter in your service?” Otto says to Aegon.
“I have no doubts concerning her loyalty.”
Larys adds: “My lord, I must say, I cannot see a tactical advantage in her saving the king’s life if she retains any loyalty to Rhaenyra’s cause.”
“Then why save him at all? Why bother? He was lying there half-dead, soon to be properly dead, and she brought him back practically singlehandedly. Why?”
“Mercy,” Aemond says quietly from the corner, and everyone turns to look at him. “Many people have none of it. She perhaps has too much. And now they have grown…” He gestures vaguely, perhaps bashfully. “Attached to each other.”
Jasper Wylde is dismayed. “But the king has a wife.”
Daeron snickers. “Yes, and that has always proved to be such a deterrent in the past.”
“Daeron,” Aegon cautions mildly.
The youngest Targaryen brother obediently sobers and shows the palms of his hands in contrition. “My apologies.” He hides his face with a slurp of his wine cup.
“And what about Cregan Stark?!” Otto exclaims. “You’d encourage his outrage, his Northerner savagery? Seven hells, he thinks you’re spending your days raping his betrothed, do you imagine that will not invoke fiercer wrath, put all of us at greater risk?!”
“Lord Stark was never a reachable ally to our cause, in my estimation,” Larys says calmly.
“That’s not the point, Larys! The point is—!”
“I can offer you something in return for the heightened danger you have assumed,” you interrupt, and these men stare at you as if suddenly remembering that you are here in the room with them, not a phantom or a myth or a cautionary tale but someone real. Aegon glances over, one eyebrow raised on his drawn, perspiring face. He doesn’t know what you’re going to say either.
Otto peers menacingly across the table. “What could you possibly have to barter with? The king is well enough now. He will live with or without you.”
“I have information. I know the workings of Rhaenyra’s council in the leadup to Rook’s Rest.”
“You attended her council meetings?”
“No, but I spent evenings with my father and brothers as they discussed them.”
Otto sits back in his chair, pondering you. After a moment, he nods. “Go on then.”
“I want one concession before I reveal what I know.”
“Besides being permitted indefinite room and board in the Red Keep, which you are in no way entitled to?”
“Not negotiable,” Aegon says.
Otto chuckles, humorless, incredulous, shaking his head. “Fucking insane. Alright. What is it you want, girl?”
“If any member of House Celtigar is taken captive, I want them to be given the opportunity to swear fealty to King Aegon and receive a full pardon for their sins. If they refuse, they are to go to the Night’s Watch, not the scaffold.”
“That’s your price? That’s it?”
“Yes.”
Otto is amused. “Nothing for you? No gold, no land?”
“No.” The prospect hadn’t even occurred to you.
“Not very self-serving. So unlike a Celtigar.” Otto grins, not kindly at all. “Your terms are accepted.”
You begin. “The Greens possess great wealth, now split for safekeeping between Oldtown, Casterly Rock, and the Iron Bank of Braavos. But Rhaenyra’s funds are far more finite. My father has enriched her coffers in part with taxes placed upon houses of the Crownlands. You are always seeking new allies, people you can turn from her side to yours, Corlys Velaryon, the Dragonseeds. Thus far, you have been unsuccessful.” Otto frowns, but he is listening. “I know there are families who have compelling grievances concerning my father’s taxes. Families who have become disenchanted with Rhaenyra’s leadership…or lack thereof, they might say. Rosby, Stokeworth, Cave, Langward, Bourney, Boggs, Hardy, Chyttering. Probably others as well now. They occupy a tactically significant position, being so near to Dragonstone and Driftmark. And I believe if you wrote to them, they would answer.”
“I’ll send ravens,” Otto says. He marvels at you, like a puzzlingly strange creature, a luminescent fang-toothed fish from the depths of the ocean, a direwolf from beyond the Wall. “You don’t want your side to win this war?”
“I want the killing to stop. For both sides.”
“Well, you won’t get that. The bitch will never surrender. That hope died with little Luke Strong.” Otto glowers bitterly at where Aemond stands in the shadowy corner, but he addresses you. “That is your impression as well? She was entertaining the possibility of a truce before he died at Storm’s End?”
You steal a glimpse of Aemond, and you are struck by an unexpected stab of sympathy for him, compassion that feels like a betrayal of your knowledge of the torture he had planned for you. But what is there to say but the truth? “Rhaenyra was considering it very seriously. She and Daemon quarreled over the subject.”
“Of course they did.” Otto looks at Criston, then back to Aemond. “When are you leaving?”
“Soon,” Criston answers for the prince regent. “Very soon.”
“Not soon enough,” Otto spits like venom, and everyone else averts their eyes.
“My lord,” Larys intercedes. “There is one more matter to discuss, and I believe it will be of great interest to His Grace the king.”
Aegon is struggling to concentrate. He blinks groggily at the Master of Whisperers, his brow creased with pain. You smooth his damp, white-blond hair back from his face, threading his braid through your fingertips; you refill his wine cup and give it to him. When Aegon lifts it to his lips, his hands shake so badly he spills scarlet beads like blood down his chin. He wipes them away with his sleeve. Grand Maester Orwyle offers him a small glass bottle of milk of the poppy, but Aegon refuses it.
“Is he alright?” Daeron mutters to you.
“He’s fine. He’s tired, that’s all.”
“Waste no time, Lord Larys,” Aegon says. “I fear Grandsire’s ire has exhausted me. He’s more ferocious than a dragon. We should find a saddle that fits, perhaps Criston could ride him to the Riverlands.”
“Keep guzzling wine, I’m sure that will improve your condition,” Otto bites back.
Larys continues: “It concerns Rook’s Rest.”
Now he has everyone’s attention. “What about Rook’s Rest?” Aegon says. Instinctively, he’s begun twisting the golden dragon ring on his left hand.
“I received word one hour ago that the Blacks have retaken it.”
“What?!” Otto shouts; the rest of the table is in uproar. Criston stands and goes to conspire with Aemond in the corner of the council chamber, urgent indecipherable whispers.
“Sunfyre,” Aegon says frantically. “I have to go to him, I have to get him out—”
“He is already gone, Your Grace,” Larys replies.
“Gone…?”
“Lord Walys Mooton went down to the beach to slay the dragon once his men had taken the castle. He was burned alive.”
“Perfect,” Daeron says, beaming radiantly.
“Lord Mooton’s men fled for their lives, and when they returned, Sunfyre had disappeared. He could not be found anywhere in the vicinity of Rook’s Rest. Moreover, his footprints in the sand stopped abruptly. Which means he must have departed—”
“Into the water…?” Tyland Lannister says, perplexed.
“No,” Larys corrects him. “Into the sky.”
“Sunfyre is flying again?” Aegon asks, his face childlike, astonished.
“That’s impossible,” Criston says. “His wing was broken, I saw it.”
Larys drums his fingers on the tabletop. “I cannot conceive of any other explanation.”
“Then he’ll find me.” Aegon smiles. Sweat snakes down his temples; his face is white, bloodless, barren like the moon. “When Sunfyre is ready, he’ll find me and we’ll be together again.”
“Oh, thank the gods,” Otto exhales. “The Old, the New, that ghastly Drowned one…” He waves a hand at you. “And do you have any to add, Lady Celtigar? Some crab deity your traitorous people worship?”
“I regret to disappoint you, my lord. To my knowledge we have none.”
“Three useable dragons,” Otto says, mostly to himself. “Three is good. With three, we have a chance. And if I can recruit Vermithor or Silverwing…”
“I should go with you when you and Criston march north,” Daeron tells Aemond.
“No,” Aemond returns immediately.
“If you’re going after Daemon, you could use me,” Daeron insists. “Tessarion and I can help.”
“You are needed in the Reach with Lord Ormund Hightower.”
“You just want him all to yourself,” Daeron realizes, exasperated. “You want to be able to say that you were the person to neutralize the Blacks’ greatest asset, that you won the war—!”
Criston says: “He’s not going on some suicide mission chasing Daemon and Caraxes all over the Riverlands. He’s staying with me and the army. He’s using Vhagar logically, responsibly. Right, Aemond?”
“Of course,” Aemond answers, entirely toneless.
Otto whirls to Aegon. “And when will you be able to fight again? Soon, I hope. Surely the culmination of your existence is not one single instance of utility before lapsing back into being some drunken, idiot degenerate.”
In reply, Aegon moans and crumples to the floor. Grand Maester Orwyle and the men of the Kingsguard rush to him, but Criston gets there first; when you cannot rouse the king, Criston throws him over one shoulder—increasingly difficult with each pound Aegon gains, softness and health that you consider a great victory—and ferries him back to bed. As you follow after them, you hesitate in the doorway of the council chamber. Now that Criston is gone, Otto has crossed the room and pinned Aemond to the wall. His large hands, heavy with rings, are pressed to Aemond’s chest; his face is snarling, wicked, callous.
“You have to fix this. You have to end it.”
“I know,” Aemond replies softly.
“Everything that’s happened is your fault.”
“I know,” Aemond says again, then rips free from Otto’s grasp and flees the room.
~~~~~~~~~~
Two days later, Criston leads his army out of the city. They will meet reinforcements on the road between the capital and the Riverlands. There is infantry on foot and cavalry on horses; above them in a blue sky cluttered with vast, cottony clouds are Aemond and Vhagar. As they head north, Daeron and Tessarion fly south towards the Reach to rejoin Ormund Hightower and his men. In Winterfell, Cregan Stark is receiving word of where (and with whom) his betrothed currently resides. At Harrenhal, Daemon and Nettles are kindling rumors like dry wood in a fire. On Dragonstone, Rhaenyra is nursing her rage and paranoia like a hungry child, like a wounded man who has milk of the poppy poured down his throat. And you remain static here in King’s Landing, anchored, steadfast, something immoveable like the ocean or the shore it meets.
You can see Aegon’s bedchamber windows from the beach. You keep glancing up at them, though you know he won’t be there; the sunlight is too harsh today, the potential damage to his skin too great. In a month, he may be able to venture outside as he used to. In two or three, he might be able to fight again. He might be able to kill more than just one errant Norcross boy who dared to touch you.
“Helaena wouldn’t come down to join us?” you ask Autumn. You’re walking with her in the surf, the hems of your held aloft so the froth of the waves can wash over your ankles. Perhaps ten yards away and out of earshot, Alicent is kneeling in the sand and playing with Jaehaera and Maelor. They are her great comfort now; they are not the only purpose she has left, but they are the kindest. Their tiny hands are preoccupied with building a sandcastle and adorning it with seashells, pebbles, shards of driftwood, strings of seaweed like green ribbons. You’ve started to notice how much Jaehaera resembles Aegon, his murky blue eyes and his high cheekbones and his gentleness that no one else seems to recognize. You’ve started to see him everywhere you look.
Autumn shrugs, her face apologetic. Her hair is more than just copper in the afternoon daylight; it is fire, it is blood. “I really tried. You know how she is.”
“I’ll visit her afterwards.”
“She unnerves me,” Autumn says, stroking her round belly and shuddering. She earns her keep here by helping to look after Helaena, Jaehaera, and Maelor. Aegon treats Autumn the same way he treats his wife and children, which is to say he generally ignores her; on the rare occasion he is subjected to her presence for more than a fleeting moment, he becomes uneasy, irritable. Autumn does not appear to be offended. She says this is the best job she’s ever had. “She’s always muttering the strangest things. Caterpillars and crabs and dragons and only the gods know what else. Yesterday she told me not to dance with the half-year queen. What the fuck does that mean?”
“Helaena’s a bit different,” you admit.
“She’s inbred, that’s what she is. I can’t imagine what those kids are going to grow up to be like. A brother and sister for parents? It’s a wonder they don’t have feathers or tails.” Autumn taps the swell of her belly. “At least this one—if it’s a Targaryen after all—has had its bloodline thoroughly diluted.”
You watch her standing there in the fiery late-afternoon light, this body that has comforted, consoled, satisfied, suffered, known so many men. “What does it feel like?” you ask quietly.
“What? Being with child?”
“No, the…um…the act that led to it.”
“Oh, yes.” Autumn stretches with her hands on the small of her back and smiles vaguely, nostalgically. “That’s the strange thing. It can feel like heaven or hell or nothing at all. If the man knows what he’s doing, and cares enough to try, he can make it better for you.”
“Better how?”
She furrows her brow, shoots you a skeptical sideways glance. She is aware that you are inexperienced, but the extent of your blind spots continuously shock her. It occurs to you that perhaps naivety is a privilege; some cannot recall a time before they were acquainted with truths of the world that others consider forbidden. “You know. He’ll use his hands or his mouth to get you ready. Or better yet, both at once.”
“Ready,” you repeat, not understanding.
“Well, you see…” Autumn takes a moment to decide how best to explain. “Men change when they are aroused, yes? Women do the same. It takes longer, and it is not always so obvious. But it is vital. The more ready you are, the more comfortably he will fit inside you.”
“And what if he doesn’t get you ready? If he doesn’t have the skill, or he doesn’t believe it’s necessary, or he doesn’t even know that’s something women require?” Or he just wants to hurt you. He just wants to watch you bleed like something he goes into the woods to kill and gut and devour.
Autumn smirks cynically. “That depends.”
“On what?”
“The sizes involved. Some men are bigger than others, and women have different dimensions as well. Couples can be well-matched or not. Sometimes it isn’t too bad. Sometimes it feels like you’re being ripped apart. And that doesn’t necessarily stop after the first time either.”
“And you can’t say no.”
“You can say no all you want. But he doesn’t have to listen.”
You peer out over Blackwater Bay, sunbeams flashing on wave crests and gulls swooping in the reddening sky. But you don’t really see it. What you see are fingerprints of dirt or ash on your thighs, snow in your hair, books laden with dust, fur coats and evergreen trees, rust-stains of blood on bedsheets.
“I’ve heard that Lord Stark is a very large man,” Autumn nudges. She knows, everyone knows.
“He’s massive,” you say forlornly. “He’s taller than Aemond and twice as broad.”
“The king isn’t so big,” she says, pretending that the thought has just popped into her mind, as if she hasn’t noticed the way you and Aegon look at each other, speak to each other, find excuses to touch each other.
“No,” you agree in a whisper.
“And he’s not a brute. I can’t fairly speak to his skill, I never had him anywhere close to sober. But he has no appetite for women’s pain. That’s a valuable gem in a man, it’s like stumbling across a ruby or a pearl.”
You nod; but you don’t want to think about Autumn lying with Aegon. You don’t want to think about the child they might share. In a world so dark, it seems cruel to begrudge people creating life where none existed before. But when you picture Aegon touching someone else, that darkness seeps in through your skin like rain soaks the earth and can’t find its way out. “We’re going to the library together tomorrow, aren’t we?”
Autumn groans. “Did I agree to that? I don’t believe I did.”
She did not, this is true; you badgered, she deflected. “You’ll enjoy it.”
“I am illiterate.”
“I told you. I’ll teach you how to read.”
“Why would I want to stare at ink marks in a book all day when I could be outside in the sunshine listening to the ocean and herding inbred little freaks like sheep?”
“Because books can take you anywhere,” you say.
“I like where I am. I’ve never seen anyplace better.”
“Okay, Autumn,” you concede, smiling. “I’ll ask again tomorrow. Hopefully you’ll change your mind.”
“Say hello to Helaena for me,” she says, meandering back towards Alicent and the children. Her footprints in the sand are erased when the gurgling waves roll over them. “Maybe one of those fancy books can help you translate lunacy into the Common Tongue.”
Upstairs in her bedchamber, Helaena is standing in front of an open window. It doesn’t offer a view of the ocean; it is positioned over a courtyard of sandstone and chatting courtiers. Helaena does not seem to hear them. She gazes out into the sunset, celestial rage on her impassive face.
“He’s leaving soon,” she says, not turning to look at you.
“Who, Helaena? Aemond? He left days ago. He’s already gone, he’s on his way to the Riverlands. But he’ll be back soon.” You don’t know if that’s true—it probably isn’t, in fact—but you’re certain that Helaena misses him. Her children do too; he is more of a father to them than Aegon has ever been, not in body but in soul.
She only repeats: “He’s leaving soon.”
“Helaena, what—?”
“He’ll leave you. Then you’ll leave him. He’ll make you.”
At last, and very slowly, she revolves like the stripe of shadow across a sundial. In her cupped palms is a butterfly, shimmering gold wings and spiderlike black legs. It takes flight, flutters aimlessly through the vermillion air, escapes out the open window.
~~~~~~~~~~
A peculiar twist of fate: his palm on your forehead, his whispers through your hair. Now he is the one who has stolen into your bed when the moon and stars hang high in the darkness outside. There is a noise somewhere beyond him, disembodied and hazy, that reminds you of torrential rain: omnipresent, thunderous.
“Angel,” Aegon is saying. “Wake up. Please wake up. I have to go.”
Go? Go where? You murmur, still half-asleep: “You can’t leave.” He isn’t strong enough yet. He can’t fight, he can’t run.
“I have to. They’re here.”
“Who…?”
The answer comes from the sounds that you are only now awake enough to understand: screaming, pounding boots, slamming doors, the ravenous crackling of fire, the shrieking of dragons. You have learned all of their unearthly voices. That’s not Vhagar or Tessarion or Sunfyre or Dreamfyre… It flashes by your windows, a comet of gold and flames.
You bolt out of bed. “Rhaenyra—?!”
“Rhaenyra, Syrax, Daemon, Caraxes.”
Daemon shouldn’t be here. He should be losing battles to Aemond and Criston. “But he’s at Harrenhal!”
“Not anymore.” Aegon takes your hand and pulls you out into the hallway, the hem of your nightgown billowing around your legs, his short silver hair flying behind him. There are servants and guards rushing by you, weeping, shouting, searching for places to hide. Grand Maester Orwyle ambles towards the rookery to send out ravens. Several rooms away, you can hear Helaena wailing and Autumn trying to soothe her. Larys Strong intercepts Aegon and gives him a hooded cloak; Aegon yanks it over his bare, mutilated chest, whimpering as the rapid movement strains the red-and-ivory disarray of scar tissue that used to be his skin. “You have everything?” he asks Larys hoarsely. You notice now that the Master of Whisperers has a satchel slung over one shoulder.
“Yes, Your Grace. Milk of the poppy, rose oil, the crown.”
“Wine?”
Larys produces a bottle. Aegon gulps down half of it, then passes the rest to you. You hesitate before finishing the wine, red like the sigil of House Celtigar, like fire, like blood. “They are closing all roads out of the city,” Larys tells Aegon, speaking swiftly. “King’s Landing will be taken. We will surrender. We cannot fight a dragon, let alone two.”
“Aemond and Criston—?”
“Daemon must have outflanked them.”
Aegon grabs your hand again and does not let go as he trails Larys through corridors and down claustrophobically tight spiral staircases. “The roads are blocked,” Aegon explains to you breathlessly. “But there are secret passageways beneath the castle. I know them. Larys knows them. Daemon probably knows them too, but he has other places to be.”
And through a window of a staircase, you see him: Caraxes spiraled around the apex of the Tower of the Hand, screaming fire into the sky before descending the length of the tower towards the hoards of hysterical courtiers fleeing below, his claws jostling loose bricks that rain down on them.
The bottom of the stairwell opens up into a large, dusty, dirt-floored chamber with stone tunnels leading in every direction like spokes of a wheel. Alicent is there, sobbing wildly, and so is Otto. Otto is telling Jaehaera that she must be a brave little girl and go with Sir Willis Fell. Alicent is giving little Maelor over to Sir Rickard Thorne, your once-alleged-kinfolk. The child is panicked and crying, flushed face and white hair. Aegon glances at the scene and then keeps moving, towing you along with him.
“Princess Jaehaera will go to Storm’s End,” Larys says. “Prince Maelor will go to Oldtown. They face execution if they stay. We must risk smuggling them out of the city.”
“What about Aegon?” you ask as the three of you hasten into a corridor thick with cobwebs and illuminated by torchlight. The stone ceiling is arched and perhaps seven feet tall; faintly, you can still hear the muffled turmoil of King’s Landing falling to Rhaenyra and Daemon.
“I’m going Dragonstone.” And it does not elude you that he didn’t say we. “If Rhaenyra is here, that likely means Dragonstone is vacant. I will go to the Crownlands families that you believe to be willing to betray her and beg them for support. I will take Dragonstone and prepare a counterassault from there. Hopefully Sunfyre will find me. Hopefully I’m not killed on the way.”
“Okay,” you say. “I’m going too.”
“You’re staying in King’s Landing.”
“No.” You stop dead, wrenching your hand out of Aegon’s. “No, what if you get hurt, or sick, or what if you get really bad again—?!”
“Listen!” he shouts with dire intensity, his eyes wide and pleading in the torchlight. “I can’t protect you. I can’t even protect myself. There could be bandits on the road, there could be Black soldiers, there could be animals, there could be fucking anything. I can’t take you with me. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get to Dragonstone. But I know if I stay here Rhaenyra will murder me. I don’t have a choice. I have one option, and it’s not good. But you’ll be safe in King’s Landing.”
“Aegon, no—”
“The Blacks don’t think you’re here by choice. They think I’ve imprisoned you. Tell them that’s what happened and they will welcome you back. Your family will protect you.”
“Aegon, please don’t—”
His palm on your cheek, his braid coming unraveled in his hair. “You will wait out the war with them. And when it’s over I’ll find you.” Tears glistening in his eyes, his voice going soft and tender. “If I’m still alive, I’ll find you. I swear to all the gods I will.”
He’s leaving. He’s really leaving. “What can I do?” you ask, your words strangled; your throat is burning, your eyes wet. “What can I do to help you?”
And you expect him to say things you already know: Don’t tell anyone where I’ve gone. Don’t tell anyone what you’ve heard in the Greens’ council meetings. Instead, Aegon grins as he says: “Try to get one of your three superfluous sisters to seduce Cregan Stark.”
You laugh, the sound echoing off ancient, filthy stones.
“My mother and Otto are waiting for you. You will be with them when they are taken to Rhaenyra. They are high-ranking prisoners of war, they will be spared the brutality of the Black soldiers and so will you. They will corroborate that you were my captive.”
“I understand.”
“I have to go now,” Aegon says like an apology, swiping tears from your face with his thumbs. He breaks away from you and follows Larys Strong down the tunnel. They are shadows under the torchlight, cloaks and whispers.
“Aegon,” you call after him, and he stops. I never told you what I wanted. I never told you what I feel for you. “What if I never see you again?”
You don’t know what you want him to do or say. There’s nothing that could make this right. But he soars back to you, takes you roughly and desperately, buries his hands in your hair and kisses you deeply, tasting like wine and heat and the smoke filling the world outside. He means for it to be quick, but he can’t stop. His tongue darts between your lips, his hips press to yours, you arch into him wanting more, infinitely more.
What was I so afraid of? you think dizzily. How could I be afraid of anything with him?
“Your Grace,” Larys appeals regretfully. “Please. We don’t have much time.”
Aegon twists off his dragon ring—gold wings, jade eyes—and slips it onto your left hand. And you’re still staring down at it, mystified, as Aegon disentangles himself from you and vanishes into the darkness.
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Text
Call It What You Want | Spencer Reid
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader (singer!reader)
Summary: You lost your reputation, but you gained something so much better.
Warning/s: angst, fluff later on, hostage situation, online bullying, hate comments, stalking, reader has a stalker, famous reader, mentions of guns and knives (light use too), marriage, pregnancy, about babies and birth, in this the song is referred to as Y/N's song (that's not true of course), pet names (pretty boy, gorgeous, love...), also skipped a few parts of the song (sorry)
Author's note: So reader basically entered her Reputation era, but with a happy ending. That's it.
Y/N - your name
Y/L/N - your last name
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My castle crumbled overnight
I brought a knife to a gunfight
They took the crown, but it's alright
All the liars are calling me one
Nobody's heard from me for months
I'm doing better than I ever was
The cold breeze of the night in the middle of the giant city as you walked perhaps wasn't doing doing you any favors at all. The coat that you wore wasn't really doing its job. It was supposed to keep you warm during the nights out like this one, but it was anything but. You felt yourself crossing your arms in hopes to pull your coat tighter to yourself so you could gain some warmth, but sadly it wasn't working.
With a disappointed, quiet sigh you swang the bag you had in front of yourself hunting for your keys as you walked along the secured parking lot. You passed a whole lot of cars as you continued to trash through your bad, but not one of those cars was yours.
After what felt like an eternity, you finally reached your car, the sound of your keychain juggling as you tried to get a hold of the key properly.
The whole time you were walking over to your car you felt an overwhelming sensation of the feeling that something, or rather someone, was following your every step. Panic was drowning you as you tried to get into your car as fast as you possibly could.
However, once you finally managed to put the key in due to your shaking hands, you felt a hand covering your mouth. The last thing you heard was your own terrified scream before you drifted into unconsciousness.
°
The coldness of the uncomfortable chair send a million of shivers down your spine. Your head was pounding so much that it started to be unbearable. At that moment you tried to bring your palm onto the side of your head, but you couldn't move your hands. At that moment you noticed the tight rope with which you were tied up in a chair.
You felt a sense of panic wash over you as you pulled against the ropes, but it was no use. It wasn't working like you hoped it would.
Suddenly, though, you heard a sound that you were sure would haunt you forever if you ever got out of there. The laugh of the person that took you hostage.
"Don't worry, my love," The vile man smiled at you. "Now you can finally be mine forever."
It sickened you.
The way he approached you, the way he slowly reached out to you to place his hand on your cheek as he talked to you. You felt like you could throw up at the sight of it alone.
"How- how did you..." your voice trembled as you spoke, trying to hold your ground, but to no use. "Why did you do this?"
"I've been watching you for a while, gorgeous," He said, rubbing circles against your cheek. "You are simply gorgeous, I just had to have a pretty thing like you."
You were terrified because at that moment you realized that it was over. You were never getting out of this. Your stalker would make your life a living hell just because of the way you looked and the fact that you did what you loved since you were a child.
He slowly let go of your cheek as he stepped back, not once breaking the eye contact with you. You couldn't help but let one tear slide down your cheek. It was over for you.
And just as you began to drown in your own sorrows, the door of the basement in which he held you were broken down.
"FBI!" Someone yelled out, the flash of the lights that filled the room were too bright, you couldn't see the FBI agents that entered. "Don't move!"
The guns were held up, surrounding your stalker who was, thankfully, weaponless.
Your head was hurting you even worse than it did before because of the flashing lights, but you had never felt a bigger sense of relief washing over you than at the moment when they forcefully entered and you felt someone moving to you.
"Are you okay, miss?" You turned your head slowly, in fear that your head was going to ache even more. The last thing that you wanted was to faint now.
"Y-Yes," You barely whispered to the man who was untying you as fast as he possibly could. "Thank you."
"Reid!" You heard another man shout, his voice ringing with authority. "Get her our of here now."
Perhaps you were still frozen from the shock, but you didn't know exactly how you suddenly got outside. You were sat down as the paramedics checked over you. Your head was still spinning and everything was hurting you, but it could've been worse.
At that moment, Spencer stood aside watching over you silently. He couldn't help himself. He simply couldn't help but to admire you as the paramedics did their job.
"What's up with you, pretty boy?" Derek came over to him, his voice hinting that he was really for teasing. "You have a crush on our singer, huh?"
"W-What? No, of course not." Spencer felt himself flush and Derek stared to laugh at the genius.
"Really?" Morgan mockingly put his hand on his chest to express that he didn't believe anything that came out of Spencer's mouth. "Because, if I'm being honest, pretty boy, your staring kind of gave it away."
Spencer was growing more red as the seconds passed. He kept quiet up until Derek stopped laughing and looked at him.
"You should ask her out." He suggested.
"I don't know." Spencer whispered so quietly that Morgan almost didn't catch it.
Before Morgan could say anything else the voice of one of the paramedics announced that you were free to go, and Spencer felt himself suddenly walk over to you without even realizing it as Morgan continued to watch with amusement.
"Hey."
You turned around at the sound of Spencer's voice and Spencer felt like his breath was knocked out of his lungs. Your eyes were sparkling brighter than the stars that covered the cold night sky and he felt himself getting flushed again.
"Am... I- I was wondering i-if you would like me t-to take you home." Spencer stuttered a bit as you made eye contact with him, listening to him speaking."
You smiled at him, he was truly, utterly gorgeous. "That's really sweet, but I don't want to bother you."
"Please, it would be a pleasure to make sure you come home safe."
And so, after a while, you accepted his request and made a promise in front of the door of your apartment to keep in touch with the FBI agent who saved your life and will continue to save your life for as long as there is air in his lungs and the stars in his eyes.
'Cause my baby's fit like a daydream
Walkin' with his head down, I'm the one he's walkin' to
So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to
My baby's fly like a jet stream
High above the whole scene, loves me like I'm brand new
So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to
After all that happened to you with your stalker that was now put into prison, you decided to dissappear from the public eye for a while. You yearned for a break that was much needed. But with the break that you publicly announced and a promise to dissappear for a while you had to be more careful.
The trips to the simple places like grocery stores were yet another opportunity to dress up so no one could possibly recognize you. At that time, the number of the baseball caps, and a whole bunch of oversized hoodies, seemed to drastically increase and it continued to do so.
But there was a minor slip-up after 6 months since you disappeared.
It was a surprisingly quiet night. Spencer returned from the case earlier and you decided to take a walk around the town after visiting a local coffee shop.
You were so wrapped up in each other, soaking up every moment you had with each other. Sharing a whole lot of stolen kisses, looks, his hand nested itself on your shoulders, sharing laughter and smiles, eyes spanking. They were full of happiness and utter joy every time you were with him.
What neither of you expected was for Penelope practically tearing down the whole conference room, almost breaking down the door the next day just so she could get to Spencer.
Spencer was sitting at his chair, looking over the files along with everyone else when he found himself being startled as he watched Penelope waving the newest copy of today's newspaper as she practically screamed in excitement.
He was rather confused by her suddenly excitement even though it wasn't unusual for her. But once he saw her slamming the newspaper in the middle of the desk he felt himself getting pale.
Spencer and you made a cover of today's news. The headline, written in overly dramatic big letters with the fine print, read "AFTER 6 MONTH SHE MADE AN APPERCEIVE! FAMOUS SINGER Y/N Y/L/N SEEN WITH A MYSTERIOUS STRANGER!!"
Just below the headline there was a picture of him and you from the night before. His arm was placed over your shoulders, bringing you closer to warm you up and keep you safe. His face was somehow, somewhat, covered by his hair because of the wind that couldn't be contained that night. Your hand was holding his that was slang over your shoulders. Your smile was radiant, your eyes shining as you kept your gaze on him. He couldn't help but smile a little at the photo.
"Explain yourself now, Spencer Reid!" Penelope shrieked, her voice getting higher each second. "What the hell are you doing with freaking Y/N Y/L/N!!"
He started stuttering so much, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation, but his nerves got the best of him. Suddenly, he felt a hand slapping his back sending him forward a bit as Morgan laughed.
"Good for you, pretty boy." Morgan smiled at him, teasingly. "Good for you."
All my flowers grew back as thorns
Windows boarded up after the storm
He built a fire just to keep me warm
All the drama queens taking swings
All the jokers dressin' up as kings
They fade to nothin' when I look at him
Pretty soon a year had passed since the hostage situation which included you being in danger.
A year since you met Spencer, a year of nothing but love and happiness.
Spencer opened the door of his apartment and held it like that so you could get into the apartment before him.
You stepped into the apartment, shaking the snowflakes that stuck to your head on this, quite cold, night in late November. You stood still for a moment, admiring Spencer as he removed his purple scarf before quickly lighting up the fire in the fireplace so that the warmth could spread around your home.
However, you noticed the slight change in his demeanor as you sat yourselfs on the couch near the fireplace. You, however, decided to not say anything because you knew that he would say what he wanted to once he was ready. You didn't want to put more pressure on him, but the plain fact that he was nervous made you extremely so, too.
Finally, Spencer took a deep breath before he turned to you.
"I know that this might seem sudden," Spencer started as he shyly looked into your concerned eyes that watched him talk carefully. "But I feel like I know you for longer than a year. I feel like I've known you my whole life. You complete me in every possible way one person can complete another. You bring immense joy in my life every single day. You show me that life and even people can be good every single day and I believe you despite all of the horrible things I see every day."
You were deeply touched by his confessed, but you were slightly confused because you could quite figure out as to why he was saying all of this to you right now.
"I can't imagine not waking up to you every moment," Spencer confessed, looking longingly into your eyes and you found yourself surprised when the sudden realization that he didn't stutter once drained on you. "I can't imagine seeing you every day, listening to your voice and admiring everything that you do."
Suddenly, he stood up and slowly lowered himself on one knee in front of you. He held out a small box in his hand before he continued to speak. You felt like you couldn't breathe once you realized what was about to happen, what was already happening.
"I simply can not imagine my life without you in it," Spencer continued as tears gathered in your eyes. "Will you make me the happiest man on this planet and marry me?"
"Yes!" You spoke up after you had gotten over your frozen state of shock. "Yes, of course I'll marry you, Spence!" You said, voice full of love as he slipped a beautiful ring onto your finger.
As you sat there by the fire, you knew that you had found the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. The snow continued to fall outside, but you knew that nothing could beat the warm feeling in the apartment and in your heart.
And I know I make the same mistakes every time
Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right
I did one thing right
I'm laughin' with my lover, makin' forts under covers
Trust him like a brother, yeah, you know I did one thing right
Starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night
Two years flashes by to fast for you to keep up it seemed like.
Spencer and you got married as fast as you possibly could. You love each other more than anything and you were ready so you figured why not do it immediately. The life had been a bliss. And just when it seemed like it couldn't be better you found out that you were pregnant.
Spencer was overjoyed. He always wanted to have children, he always wanted to be a father. And now he could do it with the person he most loved, admired and cared for. He truly felt like passing out the moment he found out. And he did, but would always deny it with a blush glued to his face every time Morgan brought it up to tease him.
The moment your water broke all hell broke loose. Luckily, Spencer was at home so the only thing you had to do was to grab your hospital bag, keys and head to the car. You were 100% prepared for this.
However, you always felt like the moment it happened and it was finally time to go to the hospital you would be the one who would go into a panicked frenzy. So it was safe to say that you were genuinely surprised that once Spencer and you managed to stumble into the car and were on your way, you were the one who had the role of comforting the one who was in panic. Spencer was gripping the wheel so tightly you were scared that he would break it. It would be rather amusing if you weren't in so much pain already.
But after hours of labor and excruciating following hours of birth once you felt limp against the mattress, still holding onto Spencer's hand which you gripped so hard, but he never once complained, bless his heart, everything truly was worth it once you heard the loud yet at the same time soft cries of your baby girl.
Now, as you laid in the bed in another hospital room you couldn't move your eyes away from the sweet sight of Spencer sleeping in the chair right next to your bed with your baby girl in his arms. It was truly the sweetest sight you had ever witnessed. Spencer's messy hair was spread everywhere as his arms tightened around your little bundle of joy, but not to tightly to hurt her. The moment he got her in his arms, he wouldn't let her go. You guessed that he was afraid thay something unexpected would happen even though you gave your best to reassure him.
After hours of sleeping once you woke up, you could fall back asleep for some reason. Not that you complained.
You heard the door open and you turned your head that was still pressed against the pillow on the bed at the direction of the door. It was JJ, trying to enter as quietly as she possibly could while carrying a few cups of coffee.
"How are you, mama?" She whispered softly as he took a seat on another chair on the other side of your bed.
"Still a bit sore, but fine." You gave her a small smile that she softly returned. "I'm just so glad that this happened." You confessed quietly as you looked at JJ.
"I made a lot of mistakes in my life," You said as she listened to your every word. "But having our daughter with him... I know that I did one thing right."
I want to wear his initial
On a chain 'round my neck, chain 'round my neck
Not because he owns me
But 'cause he really knows me
Which is more than they can say, I
I recall late November
Holdin' my breath, slowly I said
"You don't need to save me
But would you run away with me?"
Yes (would you run away?)
A few months later another headline was released in many newspapers and magazines. There were a bunch of articles all over internet, too.
The newest addition of the People's magazine was laying on Penelope's dest by her screens. Derek soon enough entered the room with a curious look.
"Hey, baby girl," He greeted as he pressed a kiss on Penelope's cheek, looking over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of the newest addition of the magazine. "What are you up to?"
"Why hello handsome," she greeted with a smile before she brought the attention back to the magazine. "Look who made the cover."
And sure enough, on the front cover of the magazine, at the very top, there was a headline written with big, capital letters saying: Y/N Y/L/N MARRIED!? THE MUSIC STAR WAS SEEN WITH HER HUSBAND AND HER BABY OUT ON THE WALK FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!!"
Below the dramatic headline there was a picture of Spencer and you holding hands, dressed in warm clothes as you walked around the city on a cold, snowy November night. In front of you there was a stroller in which your daughter, Annie, was in. Your hand was quite visible along with the ring that was clearly a weeding ring. Spencer had his arm around your shoulder, showcasing his ring as well.
On the bottom of the cover there were some other news that were in slightly smaller font. You also released the new song after a long while. The song was called "Call It What You Want" and it said to turn the page 13 for the full lyrics and Derek did just that.
Penelope couldn't help but to let out a screech after she practically showed the magazine in his face. And just as Derek finished reading the lyrics to the song he couldn't help but to smile.
"Good for you, pretty boy," Derek pointed out, happily. "Good for you."
"Give me the magazine back," Penelope excitedly ordered him. "I'm gonna frame this now."
My baby's fit like a daydream
Walkin' with his head down, I'm the one he's walkin' to
(Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it)
So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to
My baby's fly like a jet stream
High above the whole scene, loves me like I'm brand new
(Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it)
So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to
Call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want
To
->
->
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ddejavvu · 2 years
Note
U wanted more perv!eddie I shall deliver ok so perv!stepbro!eddie x innocent reader where she comes to him with a problem ‘down there’ ;))
today is multiverse monday! send me any au you can think of :)
this post is 18+ (and so are its characters) and dark, minors dni.
"Eddie," You peer cautiously into his room, your fingers wrapped around the doorway, "I need help."
"Help?" He echoes from where he's sprawled over his mattress thumbing through a lewd magazine, "Whatcha need help with, princess?"
"I.. I feel funny." You admit, your hands crossing over your abdomen, "Down there."
Eddie's brows skyrocket, practically disappearing into his hairline. He'd be a dirty liar if he says he's never thought about you while fucking his fist before, desperately wishing the friction his fingers provided was coming from your cunt instead. But he doesn't want to take advantage of you, he knows you're less-than-experienced with sex, having lived a sheltered life.
"Alright," He gestures to the end of his bed, "Have a seat, sweetheart. Tell me what's wrong."
You perch on your calves, your thighs pressed tightly together beneath you. Your legs are bent at the knee, and it gives Eddie the perfect view of you squirming slightly in your spot, no doubt rutting against whatever friction you can find in your jeans.
He looks away, cheeks flushed.
"'Feels funny down there," You explain again, "Feels nice when I do this." To punctuate your statement you give a little wiggle, and Eddie feels the movement through the mattress.
"Shit, baby." He runs a hand over his face, "You can't- listen, you gotta understand: this is big."
"Big?"
"Big." He confirms, daring to look you in the eyes and finding concern in them, "'S not a bad thing. It's just.. maybe it's not the kind of thing you want to come to me for."
"Oh." You look crestfallen, and Eddie swears he feels his heart crack. He's doing this for your own good, he can't take your trust in him and warp it for his own advantage!
But then you stand, striding sadly towards the door, "'M sorry, Eds. Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just-" You hesitate, and Eddie glances up at you.
"You just what, honey?"
"It gets better when I think about you." You admit, your cheeks flushed as your thighs squeeze, "'Feels like I got a whole lotta butterflies down there, 'n more when you're around."
He nearly breaks. He can feel his cock tighten his boxers, the fabric strained against his hard-on. Your voice is sugary sweet and oh-so-naive, and he feels sick for the way his body reacts to it.
"Sweetheart," He starts, "You.. that means you're getting excited." He supplies lamely, the word horny sounding like a crime towards you, "That's normal, uh- your body's supposed to do that."
"So why are you upset?" You step cautiously towards the bed again, "Is it me?"
"No, it's-" Yes, it's you. It's you and your intoxicating voice, your irresistible touch, your adorable features. It's you. "It's not you, princess. I just don't think it would be very nice of me to help you out with this."
You don't seem to understand the severity of the situation, and your brows dip into a frown. Your lower lip wobbles, and Eddie feels a tug at his heartstrings, because he's supposed to always be there for you. He's supposed to be the one you can count on for anything, anything except this. Guilt gnaws at his chest at the thought of taking advantage of your naivety, and somehow he manages to wrestle with his lust enough to console you and send you away.
"I'll- I'll tell you how to fix it," He offers, covering his eyes with his hand to avoid staring you up and down.
"You know how to fix it?" Your eyes light up, not that he can see, and he hears you giggle softly, "Thanks, Eddie."
"Mhm," He whines pathetically, "'Course sweetheart. What you gotta do, is- fuck," He hisses, "You gotta touch yourself. Down there. Start with one finger."
"One finger.. inside?" Your eyes go wide in fear, and Eddie's stomach flips.
"Yeah," He continues, "If one is too easy, try two. Don't, uh- Don't go any further than two. Go easy on yourself."
"Thank you, Eddie," You gush, rushing forwards to press a kiss to his burning cheek, "'Love you!"
"Love you too," He mumbles bashfully after you as you race back to your room, intent on 'fixing your problem', griping to himself in the now-silence of his bedroom, "'Better get into heaven for that shit."
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Text
.⋆。Make Him Better Looking。⋆.
Sam Winchester x plus size reader
Truth serum plus hidden feelings and a major amount of lust for your best friend is bound to end well
Warnings: truth serum, reader is hornee, implied smut, size kink, Sam is taller than the reader, explicit thoughts, mutual pining, mentions of a hunt
WC: 1.1k
Minors DNI
Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library
Tumblr media
Falling in love with Sam had been easy- not only was he stupidly handsome with those big hazel puppy dog eyes and a killer body, but he was kind and he was smart. He loved with his whole soul and would do anything for anyone, even after all the shit he had been through. 
What hadn’t been easy, however, was just how horny you got every time you even thought of the giant hunter let alone be around him. If he was tracing lines in a book to keep his place, you thought about what his fingers would feel like inside of you. If he was working out, you wondered if he would make those same noises in bed. And worst of all was when he was talking animatedly about something, his entire body came alive with passion and excitement. His eyes sparkled and his smile was always huge. And yet all you could think about was having his face between your thick thighs, talking into your cunt as he feasted. 
Needless to say, you had absolutely destroyed your scant collection of toys and taken more cold showers than warm. Eventually, you had to reach your breaking point.
It had been a witch hunt in Arkansas that went slightly wrong. People all around town were suddenly compelled to tell everyone around them their darkest secrets, ruining their lives in the process. It was a pretty simple cut and dry witch who had some vendetta against liars so she was forcing everyone to tell the truth. You and Jody picked up the hunt as some kind of demented girl’s trip and it mostly went off without a hitch. At least until the witch got you with a truth spell right before the sheriff dropped her.
You had arrived back home with your mouth practically sewn shut in an attempt to keep yourself from telling the boys your innermost thoughts until the spell wore off (which Jody assured you that it would be a couple days at most). Claire and Alex already had their fun asking you questions that you could no longer lie in response to, leading to them learning why there’s a bottle of deluded bleach and air freshener in the back of the Impala and the ‘no tequila after midnight’ rule. 
Dean quickly discovered your ailment after you bluntly told him that his new orange flannel and grown out hair made him look like an oversized carrot, and he was determined to break you. But unfortunately for him, you were a hell of a lot smarter than him and could find ways to easily distract him.
You and Dean sat across from each other at the library table, eyes locked to each other as you both desperately tried not to blink. A game born out of desperation not to reveal your darkest secrets and childish rivalry but with a month’s worth of laundry on the line, the game was a matter of life or death. Your eyes burned as you struggled to keep them open but you refused to back down now, especially when Dean’s face had begun to turn red with the strain, you knew he was close to breaking.
Then, disaster struck. Right as his eyelids began to twitch with the need to blink, Sam walked into the library wearing a tight white shirt and grey sweatpants and obviously not wearing briefs. Immediately your mouth went dry as your concentration was broken. You didn’t even hear Dean cheer that he won, you just kept looking at his  brother who was now browsing the many shelves for something to read.
Dean rubbed at his eyes while glancing at his younger brother before sarcastically remarking. “Looking good Sammy.” Sam responded with a scoff, returning to his search and letting you get a glimpse of his perky backside.
The words tumbled from your lips before you could stop them, spilling out of your dirty mind like an unstoppable river. “Goddamn, how about you bring that perfect ass over here and I’ll tell you how I can make you look even better.” Everyone froze, including you, and then you opened your mouth again. “You’d look hotter with me sitting on your face.”
Silence settled over the bunker, your veins filled with dread. “Oh god please ignore that I said that- well actually, I don’t want you to ignore it. I really do want to sit on your face but right now I really want to throw myself off a cliff. So I think I’m gonna go do that. Have a nice life boys.” You went to slip from your chair but suddenly your wide hips were pinned to the edge of the table but two huge hands.
Sam loomed over you, his eyes dark with lust as he smirked down at you. “Now why would you go and do that when we could test your little theory.” Your breath caught in your throat. He dipped down, bringing his face to yours until you were close enough to feel his breath on your lips. 
“I-“ You stammered. Wetness pooled between your thighs as he stepped even closer, pressing his hardening cock to your soft body. 
“Oh what is it baby? Can’t speak anymore? Don’t worry, you won’t be able to stop making sounds when my mouth is on your cunt.” He growled into your ear.
Neither you nor Sam noticed when Dean sprung to his feet and ran off into the depths of the bunker to escape the very obvious tension on the brink of exploding between you. Your fingers tentatively curled into his shirt, making his smile grow. “That’s a good girl, now how about you go to my room and get undressed. I wanna see if you get even more beautiful when you’re on top of me.” 
——————
Sam had always found you incredibly intoxicating but even more so now. You were dead asleep on his chest, your breaths even as you slumbered on. Sam took pride in your exhaustion considering he was the cause. He gently stroked the soft skin of your hip, tracing over the texture of your stretch marks delicately as to not wake you. 
You sighed in your sleep, nuzzling closer to his bare chest. He kissed the top of your head and with a great amount of care, slipped from your hold. You stirred only for a moment before settling once more. He dressed quietly and slipped out of his room.
The smell of freshly brewed coffee wafted from the kitchen drawing him in like a siren. “Morning.” He muttered as he wandered in, shooting his brother a glance. Dean nodded at him from his place at the small table, drinking his coffee silently.
As Sam poured two mugs of the bitter drink, he spoke again. “She was right, you know.” Dean hummed and looked up at him curiously. “I do look better when she sits on my face.”
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revel-inbluehues · 4 months
Text
This is very much an essay. Consider this my praise for s2ep9. I'll fangirl in another post.
Xie Lian acknowledged that he's never seen Hua Cheng angry, but he approached him without any fear or worry. Even after he was unexpectedly paralysed, he still didn't doubt the fact that HC would never hurt. While he was confused and nervous, he still trusted HC with his life, despite having been out into a paralysis, and doesn't doubt HC's intentions for even a second.
Hua Cheng is angrier than we've ever seen him. He wasn't fazed at all by anything in season 1 except when XL mentioned being hurt or was hurt. He had, in the previous episodes, watched as the love of his existence discredit himself and hold back his tears. Even earlier, HC had accidently hurt him. Now, he gets to vent the anger at himself for his helplessness, anger at the Lang Qianqiu for his ignorance and anger at Qi Rong for his schemes. He is angry and one of the many people who hurt and mocked XL was in front of him. With every insult against XL, HC only gets angrier.
For the next part, I'd like to mention that LQQ in his daruma form is adorable and I laughed when he jumped out like a pokeball.
Onto the more serious look, LQQ is angry as well, but a lot more confused and the donghua team did a great job at expressing. He shifted between denial, confusion, reassurance and anger as he battles the words between XL and QR, and the donghua team did brilliantly to express this. The music was appropriately dramatic. It feels sharp, more like battle music, and paused and played at the right moments to increase the drama. He'd rather trust the man he thinks murdered his whole family rather than face the possibility that he condemned the wrong person and he lived a large portion of his life based on a lie, hating a person who might not have deserved and letting the men who did commit the murder get away with it (to some extent). Even Prince Anle was honoured as a friend of the king in death rather than a traitor to the nation.
Speaking of XL's words to LQQ, the fact that he yelled against QR's words the moment he could talk was a testament to his nerves and desperation and a shock to both LQQ and QR. It is an absolutely absurd situation from LQQ's view. He's watching a man argue that he was the guilty party behind the murders when normally, people would be trying to blame each other and prove themselves innocent. It's very obvious the XL is hiding something but LQQ chooses not to chase the answers and settles with XL's story because if it isn't true, then he would have to reevaluate the past few centuries and face the reality that his personal feelings blinded him to the facts, not that anyone can quite blame him for it. Meanwhile, Qi Rong is shocked because, from his view, a random man showed up and called him a liar, despite him very much telling the truth, or what he believes to be the truth.
When Xie Lian is talking about his second demotion, I love how they cut to HC, softer now that he was looking XL. HC knows exactly why his 'heart was uncertain' but he is also clearly hoping that part of it was because XL missed Wu Ming and he mourned him. The implications is something that novel readers can see and cry about; XL's second shackle was his own punishment for getting Wu Ming killed and it was sign that he did care for Wu Ming, the nameless ghost, his last believer. However, HC doesn't know that. He can only hope that he occupied a modicum of XL's heart but never think of asking because he's afraid of the answer. His love may be unconditional, but rejection would hurt and meaning nothing to XL would be a painful existence for him. In a single frame, I see the love, hope and adoration that HC has for XL.
There are a lot of good Hualian scenes in this episode. There is a lot more casual touches, where Xie Lian is trying to calm HC down and HC is too angry to be panicking about it. The irony is absolutely not lost when QR asks about who'd worship XL and make statues of him while HC, XL's most devoted follower who carved thousands of statues of him, was standing right there.
XL takes every one of QR's insults with a smile because he genuinely isn't offended. It's hard to be insulted by children's jabs after everything he went through. To him, it isn't a big deal, while HC was only getting progressively angrier at QR for insulting him. The moment QR insulted HC, however, was when XL instantly turned to violence, striking before he could fully finish. It wasn't that big of an insult, calling HC blind, but it was enough of a transgression that XL slapped him like a fly. To XL, HC quickly became someone he cared for, respected and wanted by his side, for what was probably the first time in forever. It only makes sense for XL to be viciously protective of the first person that he cared for on a personal level rather than 'the world should be protected' stance. Meanwhile, HC was genuinely surprised by XL's actions. While he would protect XL against everything, he was never expecting that protection returned but HC, in his insecurity and devotion, does not fully understand the fact that, while true devotion can be one-sided, true love can't be. XL does care deeply for HC, a fact that he hasn't comprehended yet.
Even when Hua Cheng blocks Feng Xin with E-Ming, he is extremely gentle. He knows that all of this is going to hurt XL but it needed to happen and Hua Cheng was there to catch. It was also fascinating to see Lang Qianqiu realise that he won't be able to stop Xie Lian from killing Qi Rong if it came down to it and there was a true worry that he might never find out the truth if Xie Lian got through him. On the other hand, Xie Lian was truly desperate; this was a secret he buried, and faced 100 years in a coffin to ensure that it stayed buried. Now, without much of a warning, all of it was coming out and Xie Lian is panicking.
One of my favourite parts in this episode is Qi Rong himself. His voice actor did a brilliant job at portraying the wild, manic and immature personality of Qi Rong. He is somewhat intelligent; you can't survive 800 years without some serious planning, and he did plot the gilded banquet along with other skirmishes everywhere else. However, he is childish and arrogant in a way that the other ghosts aren't. He's powerful enough to stand above other ghosts and too weak to stand as equals with the calamities, so despite his attempt to escape his mediocrity compared to certain others (e.g., Xie Lian and Hua Cheng) failed. His immaturity shines through in the animation. He is the most animated and restless character so far, moving constantly and expressing himself in his limbs a lot more than others. It makes him feel a lot less composed than the others, and his actions cement that. He crawls around, he holds his knees, and he gets red in the face when people don't respond to his riling. It gives a much more maniachal yet silly vision of him. While it doesn't make him a completely terrifying presence like White No-Face, he does make people weary with his antics. He is definitely one of the characters that I hate as people but love as character. I think Qi Rong was the part where the entire donghua team truly and absolutely outdid themselves, even though I do think they do an amazing job every day.
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blueteller · 4 months
Text
Cale's Super Rock Villa Has a Deeper Meaning
So, I was re-reading the Caro Kingdom fight against the White Star recently (around chapter 450) since it's a super underrated fight… so much stuff I forgot from that part. Like, Mary actually using a dead mana sword?? That's so freaking cool!!
Anyway, the reason I bring it up is because there's an important detail about KRS's past there, which I totally missed before!
As Choi Han attacks the White Star in TCF Chapter 453, he recalls a flashback from CJS's life:
After struggling at work with Kim Rok Soo when he first entered the company, he headed home right away after finishing work for a while after he got used to the work. There were colleagues who wanted him to join them after work because he was a friendly guy, but he always declined and headed to his own place. Only Kim Rok Soo and the team leader knew the reason he had to go straight home. Honestly speaking, his home wasn't much. The company that was located in Seoul was located around the central border of the destroyed area and the still somewhat intact area and Choi Jung Soo's house was around there as well. His house was a small one bedroom in a building that was barely maintaining its shape as a villa. The building looked old like the buildings in a movie about the apocalypse he wanted before the world changed, but the people living inside were happy.
GUYS. DID YOU CATCH THAT? KRS LIVED IN A VILLA!!
And old, crumbling villa where he owned only one bedroom – but that's not the freaking point!!
First of all – KRS liked Super Rock Villa so much because it reminded him of his old home! That's just so sweet. He's such a sentimental guy...! 😭
But that's not what I want to focus on. Yes, there were the Henituse villa and the Harris Village as well, but... Super Rock Villa is different. As something that Cale inherited, by himself, it represents something more than merely a house to live in.
Think about it: the state of the two villas Cale lived in... it's like an allegory to his previous life VS his new life!
In his old life, he lived among the very people he protected, but he kept distance from them. It wasn't a physical distance – since he was living in the same building as them – but he didn't make any friends with his neighbors. Just like with his co-workers, KRS enjoyed their happiness from the sidelines... because KRS was cursed and doing his best to stay away in order to protect them 💔
But! BUT! In his new life, when he got Super Rock villa, not only was it in pristine condition – in contract to the old one which was falling apart – but the first thing he did, was fill it with living beings!!
...Sure, he also did that stupid in-denial internal monologue how he's doing it because he wants them to protect him. But we all know Cale is a shameless liar by this point; even to himself. ...Especially to himself.
So basically: Cale did that because he WANTED TO LIVE AMONG HAPPY PEOPLE AGAIN
Except this time – he was a part of that family!!
The whole Wind Island's test of fear later re-affirms the idea completely. Cale's biggest fear is the Super Rock villa being empty. The happy home meant for friends and family becoming their grave.
The Super Rock Villa is so much MORE to Cale than merely a cool rich house to live in. It directly represents the state of his life and family 😭
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