#and his confidence gives her that push to 'grow up' mentally

[luvvixu]

mind over matter pt. 1

synopsis: witness how your marriage was bound to fall apart with you on the front seat and your husband gojo had missed the show—now, he gotta figure out the story on his own.

tags: arrange marriage au, husband!gojo, mean!gojo, mention of blood, miscarriage, strong languages, some unsettling scenarios, emotional trauma, read at your own risk

a/n: y'all, im back after ghosting this page for way too lonh cuz im on my process of taking psychology. yep! this random bitch is up for being a psychologist despite her mental health place amidst the fluctuating status. and you know what's crazy? my sanity is slowly decomposing! all thanks to that one mf and one chapter in which im not going to name about (gege and jjk chapter 261)

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it all started when he started caring for you.

after being inside an arranged marriage for like five years, satoru was confident with himself that he doesn't need a wife to console his woes as he is perfectly capable all by himself.

to say the least, the start of your marriage was a definition of an absolute disaster. clearly, you and satoru were like a magnet in the same pole, it can never collide despite how many efforts you push on both magnets.

from fights, misunderstanding, up to almost divorce after you caught him kissing another girl when you decided to give him a visit during his mission.

you were hurt, yes. but you would always tell yourself that neither of you want this marriage, so being hurt when there's no even love is called invalid. yet, you can't still help it but to feel somewhat jealous because he was supposed to be your husband—but oh well.

your family begged you to stay as it was for the peace of mind and safety of your clan. you snorted sarcastically as you wondered if they ever cared for your personal peace of mind and safety also.

nevertheless, you still stay inside this loveless marriage and maintain the gojo surname. you forgive him even though he's not explaining himself nor asking for your forgiveness.

as for satoru, he's aware that he's being a dick to you. his reason is that this marriage was his least priority as it was a hindrance for him. so basically and truth may hurt, he thinks you're only a hindrance and a distraction from the higher ups.

there were times where he would bury himself with work so he doesn't have to go to his original home and breathe the same air as you.

there were also times where he spent almost two months without seeing you or even communicating with you. it was like you didn't exist in his life nor he doesn't have a wife!

although, he is not that cruel to the point that he would slam the fact in your face. no, he's just leaving his presence until you feel it yourself that he doesn't want you.

his shenanigans would continue for almost a year until that night occurred.

that night when it was your wedding anniversary and he came home very late after fighting some annoying curse. he took a swearing underneath his breath when the stinky smell of curse blood hit his nose.

scrunching up as he was about to proceed to his own room (despite being married, you two sleep in a separate room) to clean up when he saw you up by the garden. you are currently watching how your little seedlings grow into beautiful flowers swaying along the air with a calm look on your face.

your husband broke the silence by asking you what are you doing this late. in which you replied that you couldn't sleep as you slowly looked at him.

satoru watched your face, it did not even flinch with any kind of emotion—nothing, just nothing. you're basically acting like a robot to him, and he hates it.

"i'll prepare a warm bath for you." you mumbled, standing on your feet and was about to leave when he grabbed your arm.

"i heard what happened earlier." satoru said slowly, as if he's being careful on his words which was very out of character for him.

"really? great." detaching from his hold, you left him no chance and instantly left.

"y/n." the man followed you until both of you reached the bathroom. you paid him no attention and just did the usual things you do, prepare him a bath.

"talk to me, please." his tone becomes soft, pleading. turning the water on, you refused to turn around, you refused to make physical contact with him, you refused to let him see the tears brimming in your eyes.

"go on. say what you want to say. i'm listening." you mentally curse yourself for almost stuttering. satoru looked at you, eyes finally unveiling an emotion. he aches to hold you for some reason but to think that he doesn't want to upset you even further, he stops. all he can do is watch you serve him.

"do you want to keep it?" he asked quietly, his ocean blue eyes dropping on your stomach. getting uncomfortable, you tried to hide it.

splash, splash, splash, you did not answer him.

"i said, do you want to keep it?" satoru asked once again. this time, his voice was a bit louder than before.

"i don't know. do you want to?" you asked him back the question, quietly.

your husband went quiet. having a child is not part of your plan but you have to because that's your purpose of marrying him, to bear an heir. now, satoru was asking you nicely if you want to keep it when in the first place, it should happen this way.

"how many months?"

"two."

"and you didn't tell me?"

"do you want to know?"

"of course i want to know. that's literally my child in there." he pointed to your belly with a slight frustration on his face.

you did not say anything back, just continuing your duties as his wife—wife on papers. satoru was growing upset, tired, even angry at you. where was the talkative and fierce look that you have? where's the harshness in your voice? why do you look so vulnerable now?

"you can take a bath now. i'll be downstairs to prepare you dinner."

"y/n, wait—"

*slam*

before satoru could even stop you, you already left, leaving him in all silence. the husband heaves a deep sigh within him as he recollects the events prior to this day. he remembers how he acted when he discovered to ijichi that you went to the hospital and went back home with a pregnancy result in your pocket.

satoru remembers almost getting killed by the special curse when the news caught him totally off guard. you two only have intercourse when both are drunk after coming home from shoko's birthday and that's it. you also told him that you were on pills so he's relieved. but how?

what if—

no, no, no. you wouldn't. you wouldn't do that to him. you are his little loyal wife and even though both of you aren't on good terms, he trusted your loyalty…or was he? were you?

everything was so messed up that he couldn't think of anything even after taking a shower and now he's on his way downstairs to eat dinner. once he was in the kitchen, he saw you almost absentmindedly cutting the vegetables.

satoru took a seat, quietly. he was watching you as your back was facing him. his six eyes weren't dumb to notice how much weight you are slowly losing. unconsciously, satoru was clutching his fists tightly.

"i bought you your favorite milk tea. it's in the fridge, you can drink it later." your voice seemingly dropped him from his daze. satoru looked at you once more, only to find out that you're still not facing him back.

"o…okay, thanks."

minutes later, you place a plate of curry in front of him. satoru noticed that there's only one plate on the table, which was his.

"where's your meal?"

"i already ate." oh right, it was literally midnight now. you should be asleep by now, yet here you are, serving your husband. also, why does it seem like satoru was hoping to eat dinner with you? it is unusual, to be honest.

for your five years of marriage, you two would only eat together for formal matters. but with a simple domestic setting like this, there's no way a peace would occur if the two of you shared a table and a meal.

while he is eating, satoru watches you grab the said milk tea from the fridge and place it in front of him. "just leave the dishes on the sink. i'll wash them later." and with that, you left the dining room.

the food was great, it was very delicious. satoru can't deny that you're great at cooking, and you really have a specialty when it comes to curry like this. but why does this meal taste bitter? perhaps, was it because of the taste of his conscience? he doesn't know.

the six eyes ate in silence. he was planning to talk to you later about everything. but anyway, satoru has been eyeing the milk tea you bought for him. now this wasn't unusual. everytime you would go out, you would always buy him some of his favorites, mostly food.

like there's a time where you bought him his favorite mochi, crepe cakes, churros, ice creams—basically every dessert or food stalls you happened to pass by. it warms his heart, though. there's also a time where he anticipated what kind of sweet delicacy you would give him next.

anyway, satoru finished eating his meal. he was drinking the milk tea you gave to him while searching for you. he saw you sitting on the same spot when he first saw you this evening, by the patio of your garden. silently, satoru took a seat beside you with a mindful distance between you two.

"can we talk?" he started. in which you reply with a soft hum. satoru finds himself gulping, he sets aside his drink first before mimicking your posture—wrapping his arms on his folded legs.

"so um, since there's a baby now…i'd like to discuss this matter with you, properly. i was thinking about…moving you in one of the jujustu high's dorms." satoru nibbles the straw of the sugary drink, absentmindedly.

"it's for safety measures, since i'm not always at home and the risk will be doubled by now. but if you're inside the campus, a lot of sorcerers would be able to protect you." he added.

"okay." you did not even question him or even argue with him, you just simply agree without a second thought.

the man could feel himself gulping, the bitterness increasing despite the sweet liquid he was drinking. he's starting to get uncomfortable the way you are currently acting.

also, come to think of it, you agreed to temporarily live in jujustu high—does that mean you are keeping the baby? satoru couldn't help but to finally ask you.

"d…does that mean—"

"the baby has nothing to do with us. i'm not that cruel to take its life." before satoru could beat you, you already beat him.

"when will i be moving out?"

satoru gulped the growing rare anxiousness down to his throat. "probably next week. give me some time to deliver this news to the higher ups." you just mumbled an okay as your response.

"y/n, are you really sure about this?" the man couldn't really pinpoint your decision. although you made it explicit, he still couldn't comprehend you.

"i'm okay with anything. it's just you who didn't. also, if you are planning to ask me about keeping the child once again, go ask yourself instead. your decision is my decision." you replied.

satoru made a mental note that your voice sounds more tired than before. it kinda ignited something that he was not used to feeling before as literally a man-god himself who's full of pride.

"i'll be resting now. have a good night." he did not stop you, in fact, he thinks it's for the better. satoru could only follow you by his gaze as you enter your own room.

yes, your own room. the two of you did not share the same room. you two couldn't even bear to eat together, what more on sleeping together. this is not what satoru meant when he asked you to talk. but oh well, guess he should also call this a night. with that, satoru retreated to his own room and slept.

fast forward, you moved to jujutsu high and started teaching as a history teacher in a world full of related curses(suggested by satoru) since you're an alumni at this school like your husband. you like that idea too since it's a great way to distract yourself from everything.

currently, you are watching your third year students train themselves along with the second years and the first years. it was quite a good sight since all of them have a nice and strong potential as a sorcerer.

suddenly, one of your husband's students came to you with a big smile on his face. that must be yuuji, the vessel for the infamous king of curses. you always adored him, he's a good kid. but you couldn't help but to be saddened by the fact that he was literally carrying a big burden over his life.

"y/n sensei, good afternoon!" he waved at you before taking a seat nearby you. behind him, you saw his two other friends—your husband's students too.

"oi, you're being too loud." megumi scolded his friend. he was worried that yuuji's loudness was too much for your situation, your pregnancy.

"it's fine, megumi." you just chuckled. "i have some extra chocolate bars here, you three can have it." the trio thanked you happily, while you just smiled in return.

"by the way, we have a question for you, y/n sensei." yuuji said, munching on the chocolate. you asked him to shoot the question but he suddenly hesitated, looking at his two friends for support.

when he received the support he needed, he took a deep breath. "y/n sensei, we were wondering about your husband a-and…" yuuji trailed off. you already know what he meant, so you didn't wait for him any further.

"oh, i suppose you are curious because you haven't seen my husband even though i technically lived here?" the smile still lingers on your face as you watch them nod their heads.

there's something that you forgot to mention to them, they don't know that their teacher is your husband and the father of your child. you were prepared for a situation like this, though.

megumi on the other hand, could've known this beforehand since satoru took care of him during his childhood. then your marriage came through and your husband was already taking care of megumi, but it was kept a secret to everyone—including him.

stroking your six months belly, a recent hobby of yours when you want to seek some comfort. "he was a busy man. most of his job requires being out of town. but he never fails to shower me with love by making sure that we still communicate despite his busy schedule."

"lately, we've barely talked. yet, he promised me that he will finish all of his jobs and tasks before going home to me. probably that's when our child is about to be born." you sigh just to justify this facade.

the students seem to believe your story. although you're quite worried that they might tell this to gojo and your cover will be blown. you planned to talk about this to him, anyway.

"that must've been hard, y/n sensei." nobara mumbles out of sympathy. she was worried for you and your child due to the absence of your husband.

if only they knew that your experience was much harder.

"you could always come to us, y/n sensei. we will not hesitate to help you and your child." beaming brightly as the other two agreed, you really adore yuuji. the amount of softness he gave to you is something that your future child would like to possess.

"thank you, you three. now, you all better go back to training. i will be heading to shoko since i promised to visit her." watching as the three wave their good-byes to you, you couldn't help but to feel an urge to protect them at all cost. probably due to your maternal instinct but whatever, you just hoped they would stay safe.

another fast forward, you are on your way towards shoko's office to spend your free time. knocking softly on her wooden door, shoko opens the door with a smile on her face.

"how's my little mama doing?" she engulfed you with a hug, which you returned warmly.

"good. the morning sickness did not attack me today, thank goodness." you said as you took a seat on her sofa.

shoko also commented that she was happy too. as mentioned before, stroking your six month old baby bump is a must on a daily basis. you are now used with a thought and feeling of a growing child inside you.

"and how're you and dickhead gojo?" shoko changes the topic.

"we were just fine like i have said before."

your friend heave the deepest sigh you've ever known. "just fine? y/n, do you want me to say the like i have said before too?"

"sho, ever since we knew that we're having a baby, we really tried our best to be compatible with each other. but we just couldn't." it's true, on the exact tomorrow of that eventful night wherein gojo discovers your pregnancy, he tried to make it up to you by lessening the sparkling arguments, making sure you are well feeded, and even showering you with things your eyes would have landed on.

you are delighted, of course. even though he absolutely fails his duty as your husband, at least he's trying his best to be a good father for your child. you appreciate him for that and also start to open your heart and pour a little more trust to him.

however, you are not dumb to notice the faint smell of a female's perfume and lipstick stain on his neck whenever he's with you. your heart slowly closes once again and your little more trust shatters.

once you saw yourself crying silently—feeling betrayed and angry for yourself on trusting him shortly after that. guess old habits never die, you are crying about something you've already expected. self-blaming is an understatement for letting your guard absolutely down.

gojo's still a jerk even though you had his baby. i should've expected this. having a baby doesn't mean he's going to change for me.

"we both tried, sho—we both tried. but we just couldn't." your voice dropped its tone once more. you still felt bitter even if it happened way back like two months ago.

"or he just couldn't." she snorted sarcastically.

you both knew she's right, gojo just couldn't. for years of being married, you unfortunately learned how to love a man like him who doesn't even give a one shit about you. tragic. very fucking tragic. if only you could see yourself directly, you would laugh at her nonstop.

"maybe this marriage is meant to be loveless—"

*slam!*

"yo shoko, i need—oh…" the door suddenly bursts open as it reveals your hot issue for today and probably for the rest, your husband gojo. you could tell that he was also surprised (but he shouldn't be) to see you here in shoko's infirmary.

"learn to fucking knock, gojo." shoko hissed at the white haired male.

"oh sorry. am i interrupting something?" he asked, looking at everything but you. he refused to spare you even a small glance, which you kinda do the same.

"you're not. now what do you need?" shoko was the one who answered him.

before gojo could even open his mouth , you already excused yourself. "i'll be taking my leave now. thanks for the check up, shoko." and then you left, leaving shoko and gojo with an awkward silence.

"aren't you going to talk about your business or maybe you want me to kick you out?" shoko sarcastically made a comment.

"right…" satoru cleared up his throat. for some reason, he doesn't know why he's suddenly getting iffy.

"ho…how's the child doing?"

"you have to be fucking kidding me." shoko groaned loudly. somehow, she expected this, but she couldn't believe that she would actually encounter this.

"y/n was just right there moments ago and you didn't even bother to ask her that yourself?!" the doctor could feel herself getting really annoyed. the truth may hurt but she's getting annoyed by the two of you.

fight here, ignore there—ignore there, fight here.

"bet she told you that we're not on good terms even though we really tried to work it out. yet, you're seemingly acting clueless." satoru snorted sarcastically. he's not dumb that you're telling stories to your friend, shoko.

the doctor rolled her eyes. she was this close from smashing his old friend's face to the wall to wake him up and stop being an idiot. "every fucking time, gojo. but that should not be an excuse to not talk to her. you two are still married for god's sake, and now, there's even a child along the way. i can see how much effort y/n has put in your marriage, you must do the same."

"don't you dare to compare her efforts to mine, you know nothing." he growls.

"but i sure know how shitty you are."

something inside satoru snaps. "why are you being angry at me?! you've been like this since we got married. always defending y/n, but what about me?! i have been your friend since highschool and you just met that girl! wouldn't it be unfair to side with someone whom you just met?!"

"you're asking me that when you have six eyes and yet, you can't see how much she suffers from you?!”

“but what about me? am i not suffering too?!”

how did we get here? things are getting pretty out of hand. two friends getting fired up because of a marriage that was about to fall apart. one being inside the marriage while the other one has the eye inside the marriage.

both shoko and gojo have their own sides but it all leads back to one thing, you are involved.

“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage. everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”

“just want, what? end your marriage by divorcing her?”

the moment the last syllables escaped her lips, she already knew the answer.

“fucking gojo.” shoko mumbles under her breath. “if you want to fix your life, you better not act dumb.”

satoru was still caught silent. his wide eyes trailed on the floor and unable to move. shoko saw how she hit the point. sighing over herself, she motioned the door. “get out, gojo. if you're gonna rethink your life choices, do it in your home with your wife.”

and with that, without a word, satoru left her clinic feeling heavy and defeated.

along the hallway, he saw you. satoru saw you looking at him with horror in your eyes—for the first time in one month, you finally looked him in the eyes, but it's filled with fear and tears.

“y/n, i—” just like what he had done before he left shoko's clinic, you left without saying a word.

satoru felt everything become hazy, his knees were trembling, his six eyes were stinging, his lips were turning white on how hard he bites them. the man shuddered in disappointment, you must have heard everything.

his feet act on their own and chases you, holding you by the wrist. but it was torn away immediately after you forcefully snatched it back. while doing so, satoru didn't fail to notice the hot tears streaming on your pale face, in which you immediately wiped it out.

“y/n, i-it’s not what you think. i…” as much as satoru would like you to hear himself, he hasn't gotten the words. he was left stuck by his own thoughts and self-doubt that he puts himself into shame.

meanwhile, you thought you could've just walked away from the scene. but from the moment you hear shoko and satoru exchange heated words, it gets you glued to the floor and unable to move. despite her clinic being semi-soundproof, you hear everything. even if you're not there in the room physically, you seemingly know everything.

“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage.”

“everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”

“y/n,” satoru called your name. his tone was very far from you used to. you grow accustomed to him saying your name venomously, but now it seems like he's saying your name delicately and vulnerable…and satoru hates being vulnerable.

“i know what you're thinking. i accidentally eavesdropped but i didn't t hear everything.” you internally praise yourself for being a great actress. you thank yourself for not stuttering and not sounding so dejected.

but you lied. you're a terrible liar. you heard everything. you heard every single thing that escaped his lips during his argument inside your friend's office. and you feel like dying, his words hurt you so much more than any deadly curses.

“have you eaten already? do you want me to prepare you for a bath?” satoru couldn't understand why the heck you still care for your wife duties when your husband, him, just broke your heart not so long ago?

you're acting absolutely strange in his eyes and he hates it. he hates how you would just bury or bottle your emotions. you're creating a facade and a labyrinth where you keep it by yourself.

“y/n, it's not time for anything. let's just talk please.” you hate it how he sounds like he's begging, but satoru never begs.

“let’s go to my room. let's talk this out—”

“gojo sensei! yaga sensei was looking for y—oh…” yuuji trailed his tracks when he saw you and satoru together.

“dummy! why do you just yell like that?!” megumi bonked his friend's head for interrupting your talk.

wearing your mask again, you smiled at the duo then brushed yourself away from the scene. satoru couldn't stop you any further, you're already away from him.

either way, satoru does the same, he wore his mask just like you. smiling at his students, he let them navigate the way towards yaga and deal with all of his shits so he would have time and talk to you properly this time.

meanwhile, yuuji and megumi were dismissed after they had done their task. nudging his black haired friend, yuuji pointed out things earlier.

“hey, fushiguro. is it just me or did i just see y/n sensei…crying?” he questioned. megumi remained silent because even saw that you were crying—they’re also not dumb to notice the burst energy somewhere inside your body.

“whether she is or not, it's none of our business.” megumi replied.

“i know. but i couldn't help but to feel really worried about her. you know crying can be bad, especially when you're pregnant, that could stress her out.” yuuji surprisingly knows how pregnancy somehow works. but they both know he's right again. they're worried about you and your baby, so they both take a mental note to visit you later.

as you slam the door behind you, a silent sob escapes your lips as you slide your back behind the wooden frame. along with the sound of your cries, was also the sound of your heart breaking.

for some reason, the facade you just put up there early makes you suffocate. it burns your eyes and it makes you shudder in pain. the hyperventilating noise escapes from your lips while you clutch the handful of fabrics of your blouse.

“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage.”

“everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”

god, that feeling burns! his words keep on burning in your head, engraving the letters piece by piece. those words are not too cruel, it's a little far from what you had heard before. but it came out directly from your husband's mouth, the father of your baby.

maybe, you think you acted this way because of your hormones. but nonetheless, he's like blaming you for all of his misfortunes and that made you recall your past arguments with him before.

it was like a collection of puzzles coming up together, picturing a clear image; you were just a distraction, he wanted nothing to do with you, you were just a burden, he wanted to dissolve this marriage, you would never be his, he wanted to be free from you.

you put your hand on your baby bump, stroking it ever so gently. you swore to yourself that you would never let anyone harm your baby, you would never let this marriage harm your baby, you would never let satoru harm your baby, you never let yourself harm your baby. that's for sure.

because as the clock ticks, time passes. and as the time passes, more tears flow to your cheeks along with blood on your legs.

[part 2 is out now — ©luvvixu2024]

#gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #jjk satoru #satoru gojo #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #fanfic #anime #luvvixu #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk angst #angst #gojo satoru angst #satoru angst #satoru x reader

[coldhndss]

Tulip 2/2 ft. Isagi. Y

You slumped back onto your bed, photo frame still in hand. 

You had always expected it to end like this anyways. Your selfishness always took precedence over other people’s feelings, especially those who cared most about you. 

You found yourself unable to cry. 

Regret reverberated throughout your entire body, and what ate away at you most was that you knew Yoichi would be blaming your mistakes on him.

All you wanted was to apologise. You used to take it as a privilege, never imagining he would stray so far from your grasp.

Maybe a nap would wash it all away.

Until you woke up, that was.

You wake abruptly to the sudden sound of knocking. 

Checking your phone, you find that 2 hours have passed. 

“Coming!” You call out, looking in the mirror to tidy yourself up before opening the door. You notice that your cheeks were streaked with dried tears.

He crosses your mind, but you quickly dismiss even the mere idea of him being there. After all you’ve done, do you really think he’ll give you even a thought? 

He wouldn’t come to see you first thing after being inside a training facility for months. He’d definitely visit people who actually care for him.

Your heart beats heavily within the confines of your body.

You reach for the doorknob, twist it, and open it.

Surely the person knocking on your door in the middle of the day right after you woke up from the specific time slot that you allocated for sleep every afternoon, wouldn’t be him. 

Though, he was always particular about not hindering you or interrupting your free time, always making sure he had an idea of the times that you’re busy, or how you were feeling before approaching you.

Surely, it wasn’t:

“Yoichi..?”

No, no this isn’t him. He looks completely different from what you remember. He looks.. taller? He’s standing with confidence and his entire demeanor is different..

Though..

“Hey, y/n..” 

But his smile is exactly as you remember. 

The way the corners of his lips curve upwards, and as lets out a joyful, yet awkward laugh stringing along with his words. The way he gets too nervous to maintain direct eye-contact, and glances towards the wall or the floor after greeting you.

The way he looks back up at you timidly, seeking validation. 

It was all the same.

“Listen uh, I’m really sorry for.. everything” He spoke with a soft, sympathetic tone. 

You were not about to let this opportunity go, you refused to lose him again. Cupping his face in your hands and looking him straight in his eyes, you said “Don’t apologise. I don’t want you blaming yourself for my mistakes anymore”.

He reaches for your forearms with both hands and gently holds them as your hands remain on his face. You feel the heat of his cheeks in the palm of your hands as he looks downwards in embarrassment. 

Inching closer, he rests his forehead on your head and exhales softly.

“I just don’t want to disappoint you. I want to live up to what you expect of me, y/n.” He coyly responded.

“Yoichi, that’s not something you need to worry about. We’re not kids anymore, that stuff doesn’t matter” You paused and took a slow deep breath. You can finally get it off your chest.

“Yet, I’m sorry for ignoring you before you left, I don’t even want to imagine the way I made you felt. I.. I was so selfish..” You shuffled your feet, embarrassed. Your face began to heat up, and before you knew it, a tear dropped down your right cheek. 

You lifted a hand to wipe it, but Yoichi had beaten you to it. 

“That’s not true. I was in the wrong from the moment I hesitated to tell you about everything”. He wiped your tear with his thumb before tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. 

He smiled; “This entire time, I was preparing what to say to you, and yet, you still managed to stump me”. Yoichi clasped his arms around you tightly yet gently and held you close. The grasp of his body felt different to before, and his newfound confidence brought you closure. He held you in his arms as he rested his head in the crook of your neck. Your heart resounded within your chest with every beat becoming louder and bearing more pressure.

Your arms remained by your side.

Giving in was not something you were prepared to do. Not in your current mindset.

The way he had changed so much, yet so little.. It made you think;

Maybe it is okay to change. To leave my bad habits behind and stop finding new ways to run away from my problems. To take a page out of Yoichi’s book, and finally leave my wrongs in the past.

You eventually gave in and wrapped your arms around his back, squeezing as tightly as you were able to. Without him, you would’ve been stuck in a loop of your congested mind, continuously likening every one of your lies with the truths of someone else. 

“y/n..?” He suddenly spoke.

“Yeah?”

“Um.. you’re squeezing me a bit too tight” He chuckled.

“..Sorry”

#ISAGIIIIII #so basically the y/n of this story is a girl who runs away from her problems #she's meant to be weak minded and that's why she sleeps to forget or convinces herself that she's right and isagi is wrong #and I thought that would rlly bring out isagis kind qualities yk #wanted them to shine #its like since she grew up with him #she thought that they'd both stay the same #but turns out isagi matured and she was the one who didn't #and his confidence gives her that push to 'grow up' mentally #OVERANALYSINGGG #blue lock #isagi yoichi #writing #blue lock x reader #bllk #isagi x reader #fluff #angst #angst with a happy ending #also its called tulip because his smile reminds her of yellow tulips #which are said to signify happiness and cheerfulness #just a little detail I wanted to add #anyways byeee #coldhandsss

[fictionalmenobsessor]

CW: !!!NSFW MDNI!!!, afab reader, fluff, angst, smut, grinding, fingering, cowgirl, unprotected sex (just because it’s allowed in here, doesn’t mean you don’t wrap before you tap guys), p in v, missionary, bulge kink, breeding kink, a squint of creampie, baby trapping, Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley being an absolute daddy (mentally and physically).

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this is part 2, to part one 😘

song for the chapter: Leave Me Lonely - Ariana Grande

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ex-husband?!Simon, who eventually convinces you to let him come inside to talk once he finds out that your daughter isn’t home, and is actually at her grandparents for the night.

ex-husband?!Simon, who listens to all of your concerns when you are on the couch together; holding your hand in his with devoted eyes, thinking to himself that you were as beautiful as the day he lost you, possibly even more so.

ex-husband?!Simon, who rubs his thumb up and down the back of your palm trying to soothe you as you choke up into tears.

ex-husband?!Simon, who brings you into his lap, engulfing you in a hug with his big burly arms. stroking your hair as you sobbed into his shoulder, letting all of the pain you’ve accumulated wash over you in one fell swoop.

ex-husband?!Simon, who brings your head back so you can see him after you’ve calmed down. wiping away the tears and snot on your face, before giving you a kiss on the forehead.

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ex-husband?!Simon, who presses back when you suddenly kiss him, cupping both sides of your face with his calloused hands; tugging down on your lip with his teeth to force his tongue through.

ex-husband?!Simon, who ran his hands up and down your body, before landing on your hips. gently squeezing the soft, plush fat surrounding them as he brought you higher up on his lap.

ex-husband?!Simon, who lets out a string of groans as you start to rock your hips over the growing bulge beneath your thinly clothed cunt; slick and throbbing, you try to soothe the increasingly hot ache between your thighs.

ex-husband?!Simon, who hikes up the lacy hem of your nightdress, and roughly tugs aside your panties, like they shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

ex-husband?!Simon, who glides the pad of his thumb over the pearly nub on your clit, going in motions that has you writhing and begging for him to at least use one finger against your velvet walls.

ex-husband?!Simon, who eventually gives in, gliding his ring finger into your sopping cunt, watching the way your juices collected on the silver band.

ex-husband?!Simon, who pulled out his digit before you reached your impending orgasm, because according to him:

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“The only thing that you’re going to be coming on is my cock. Okay, sweetheart?”

You fumbled with his belt buckle, your mind still fogged from the rejection of what you desperately craved. No needed.

He lifted his hips so you could tug down his jeans and boxers. His strained cock hit his lower abdomen, angry red tip leaking with beads of pre-cum.

With your panties still pushed to the side haphazardly, you grab ahold of Simon’s broad shoulders for stability; watching as he grabs his thick, leaky cock and align himself with your entrance.

Slowly sinking down, you fold your bottom lip into your mouth to force back a moan, teeth digging into the flesh severely. As much as you loved. Love? No. Loved, Simon, you couldn’t let him know that he still had an effect on you after all this time.

After a few moments of adjusting to his size, pussy fluttering around him to accommodate his size you started to roll your hips, gathering a rhythm that left you both short for air.

Gaining a bit more confidence, you bounce up and down on his cock. Simon’s dick hitting the gummy bundle of nerves tucked away inside you that made your toes curl; thighs trembling as your orgasm attempts to wash over you.

A deep, desperate groan echoed through your ears, “Fuck." He panted, pawing at your ass, "I've missed this pretty pussy so much. And I bet she's missed me too, yeah?"

Nodding your head feverously, you tried to focus on the euphoria you were about to experience in the horizon. Just as you were teetering on the edge, he must've felt a change; grabbing your hips, he flipped you over, denying your orgasm once more.

"You fucking asshole!" You seethed, hitting him on the chest.

"Don't." He snatched your wrists, flashing you a harsh glare. "Now you're going to behave and come on my cock when I tell you to, because I can stop all of this in a heartbeat."

In all honesty, you would’ve done anything for him. With a small nod of your head, he hoisted your legs over his shoulders, burying his throbbing cock deeper into your velvet walls; desperate with the need to come, he clenched his jaw and started his onslaught. He wasn't done with you; not yet.

Pursuing fuller strokes, he looked down at your lower abdomen, waiting to see the bump of his tip on the outside of your precious, fertile, vacant womb.

Your jaw slacked from being stuffed full of his cock. A distorted whine clawed up your throat as your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

“Good girl, you’re takin’ my cock s’well.” He smirked, now looking back up at you, and driving his hips faster. Your heels dug into his shoulders, pussy clenching him like a vice.

“Please, Si.” You whispered, clinging onto his chest like you clung onto your destined euphoria.

“Please wha’?” He mocked, looking down at you condescendingly; mixing his strokes with either quick and short jabs, or long and heavy thrusts. Only because he wanted to be an asshole and make you choke on your words as you tried to answer him.

You tried to form sentences, you really did, but it only came out as incomprehensible garble.

Pulling yourself together, you forced out, “Please let me cum, Si.”

“It’s cute y’think y’had a choice.” He teased. His pelvis snapped up faster, turning the coil in your stomach faster in doing so.

"Please, Si. I-" You cut yourself by an annoyed whine; not wanting to hold on any longer, and release the overstimulation consuming your body, "-I can't anymore."

"S’okay." He mumbled, stroking a piece of hair out of your face, looking into your teary, glistening cockdrunk eyes. “Cum aroun’ my cock jus’ like that. I’ve got you.”

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ex-husband?!Simon, who promises to pump your pussy full of his milky seed; fucking it inside your womb over, and over again, to ensure you’re round with all of his future kids.

──────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────

please don’t be too harsh this is my first time writing smut which is why it took so long to post 😔

#simon ghost x you #afab reader #writers on tumblr #ghost cod #ghost call of duty #cod mwii #cod mw2 #task force 141 #tf 141 #simon riley #exhusband #angst #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #call of duty #cod imagines #smut #part two #tw nswf #nswf post

[rroseselavyyy]

then, could i request: Yoongi and yn go to the beach, she's wearing a small bikini, Yoongi can't resist her tits and starts touching them (in front of all the people there). pinching nipples, sucking, fondling...untill the both of them are so horny that they just fuck right there in front of everyone? if its way too kinky I could tone it down a bit? haha

honeysuckle - myg

pairing: yoongi x female reader

warnings: smut, breast play, exhibitionism, unprotected s*x

a/n: here is your request dear anon :) I hope you like it! 🩷🥹

His eyes lingered on your bikini top as he tried to hide his fascination with your barely covered tits. You were reading a fashion magazine under your sunglasses as he applied sunscreen to your legs, his fingers inadvertently digging into the flesh of your thighs. There were drops of water from your wet hair dripping down onto your breasts and Yoongi wanted to look away but the sight was too captivating.

Things like this were not supposed to turn him on.

Nevertheless, Yoongi knew it was impossible for him not to give in to his animal nature when you asked him to put sunscreen on your breasts.

His hands felt gentle on your skin, massaging your breasts with great care until you let out a trembling whimper. As his touches grew bolder, his eyes found yours as if to ask your permission.

Yoongi realized you were as eager as he was by the way you tugged at his hair, eyes closed and panting heavily. He made you lie on your back while he crawled on top of you. Soft kisses on your nipples became much more aggressive as if he was sucking the milk from them. The thought of it alone sent blood rushing to his cock as the mental images of you feeding his baby with your beautiful tits flashed through his mind.

You bit your lower lip to muffle your moans as his wet kisses traced a path between your collarbones to your jawline. His hands found their way to the swell of your breasts, squeezing them shamelessly.

"Baby, do you feel it?" Yoongi brought your hand to his growing bulge as if you two were in your own bedroom and not on a beach where anyone could walk in on you. "I'm so horny for you."

You were not like this at the beginning of your relationship with Yoongi, on the contrary, you would freak out the moment he laid his hands on you in public. But you seemed far from feeling ashamed when he whispered sweet nothings in your ear, making your body tremble in the summer breeze.

Your mother was right in everything she told you about him. He had been a bad influence on you.

"Don't you think it's hot?" You looked at him under your lashes, your mind too dizzy to make out any of his words as his fingers skilfully toyed with the hem of your bikini bottoms. As he smiled confidently over your lips, the sight of his wet hair and sunkissed cheeks made your pussy ache with desire. "I mean, the risk of getting caught?"

You almost cried as he pulled the bottom of your bikini aside and teased you with his middle and index fingers. "It's okay beautiful, I've got you." Your sand covered legs brushed against his in a delicious way as he pushed his wet shorts down far enough to get his dick out. "Let me take care of you."

Yoongi planted wet kisses on your cheek as he slid the head of his cock into your pussy, which was already soaking wet with the evidence of how much you wanted him. It didn't seem like getting caught by someone was on your plate, considering he was ready to explode when he felt your heavenly walls fluttering around him.

You kissed each other to muffle the sound of your moans. Even though you were making love in a public place, keeping the sounds of the declaration of your love to yourselves was your way of maintaining a kind of privacy.

His hips picked up a pace that made you see stars. As your body spasmed with an intense orgasm, your legs were wrapped around his waist as if you didn't want to let him go. Soon his cum filled you to the brim and then you felt the familiar sensation of his embrace, his arms wrapped around your form in a way that made you feel at home.

"You're a freak of nature, you know that right?" You played with the hair at the back of his neck as you teased him with a weary smile on your lips. He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as you recovered from your orgasm, his chest heaving from your earlier activity. "And you love me for that."

#bts smut #bts x reader #yoongi x reader #yoongi smut #min yoongi smut #min yoongi #yoongi fanfiction #bts fanfic #yoongi #rroseselavyyyasks #rroseselavyyyrequestedfics

[deadmeat666]

BIRDS' NEST hoshiumi x top male reader x hinata

warnings. threesome, blowjob, fellatio, unmentioned size differences, facesitting, slight subtop reader, messy ejaculation, ass so fat your neck feels like a twig

a/n. a long one from big boy al' this time??? unbelievable.

"Quit it." The two words seemed simple enough to be spoken properly, but you only managed to sneer it out due to it being cut off earlier by the two boys that had seemed to claim their territory on either sides of your cock.

Despite the well divided quote-on-quote "land" they had been given, it didn't seem to stop them thrashing and going for each other's throat.

You had already made a mental note to yourself; if either of them pisses you off you would surely pull back in your cock into the comfy confinement or your underwear. Maybe if you were feeling a little sadistic; force them to get along with eachother and watch them work hard for you to pull it out again.

"We can't exactly get the full of you since. . . you only have one cock." Hoshiumi mustered up a complain with a pout, resting his cheek against your cock while Hinata's glare bored a hole into his head, pushing Hoshiumi's head off your cock. That surely earned a snarl from him.

"Just make do." You shrugged it off. You were practically feeling lazy tonight, so you were expecting the boys to treat themselves on your cock instead of you, a man having to pleasure both of them by yourself like a mother bird feeding her children. You can't just grow another dick, can you? Oh how you wished you could.

"Quit with the useless talk. I choose dibs on the cock" Hinata confidently said before managing to deepthroat you in a single try, letting out a muffled 'Mmf!' once he felt your cock digging at his throat. Precum dripping down his throat, all hot and sticky. Hinata had taken it upon himself— he will have your cum dripping down from his mouth and nostrils by the end of the night.

Hoshiumi let out a jealous huff, obviously not satisfied how unfair this whole thing was. He crawled his way so that his whispering voice can reach your ears.

"This is so. . . unfair!" he grumbled through gritted teeth "C'mon, big guy. I at least have to get something, yeah? Don't you feel bad for lil' old me?" He said the last sentence in a cutesy manner and gesture, slowly tracing circles on your abdomen. But he knew that no matter what he do— or even Hinata, you'd always give in.

". . .I do have a face." You looked at him expectantly as you finished the sentence. Getting what you were hinting at, he enthusiastically plopped himself down onto your face, clearly not aware that if he even tried to do it harder, your neck would surely break. Slowly, he had start to relax himself, letting his weight fall onto your face, or head at this point. Your head was slowly sinking into the pillow every second, and you could feel a slight pop inside your neck.

Hoshiumi was not the only one enjoying himself, Hoshiumi taking his place on your face was already too much. Not too mention the fact your entire view was blocked. You couldn't exactly see what Hinata was doing, except you know he's absolutely gobbling down on you from the way your cock will be met of cold air hitting your wet cock before eventually feeling the hotness of his mouth.

What a sight to behold it was. Two famous athletes of Japan, absolutely melting on your body like pornstars instead- why haven't they chosen that career path instead? But there was one thing nobody could deny; You were the luckiest man on the earth.

You greedily gripped on Hoshiumi's thighs, hard enough to leave red, raging marks of your fingers as a sign that you were the one that did it to him, and bury your face deeper, consume his ass, every last strings of dignity leaving you, as the wet sounds of you devouring him and Hinata going down on you was stuffed into your ears and head.

"O-Oh! W-why so..hmph~..sudden?" he whimpered, gripping onto your hair that only resulted into you burying your face deeper. He caged his thighs around your head and let out a pitiful whine and his hand struggle to find a source of support to hold on to. His dick, shaking and shivering, leaked cum that dripped down onto your chest like raindrops, creating a puddle on your pecs that slowly trailed down to the sheets below.

On the other hand, Hinata wasn't having it easy on you either. With mouth basically vacuuming the entirety of your cock; pair of innocent doll eyes wasn't able to find yours with the presence of another man on your face- he opted to close his eyes instead. There was no need for them if they couldn't feast on your pleasured face as he sucked you off. Hinata had completely gone autopilot mode, keeping his fragile mind at bay but it'd surely break into pieces once you finally release your load of life into his tiny mouth.

With every second passed, you felt like losing yourself like celestial heaven had come down upon a sinful man such as you, embracing you.

You were running short on breaths as Hoshiumi quickened his grinding on your face, creating pleasurable frictions that sent shocks through him. Hinata clawed on your thighs and forced himself to deepthroat your cock, pushing out an audible squeak from him when he felt your cum flood into his passage.

Simultaneously, Hoshiumi ejaculated a loud and powerful orgasm that spurted out like a water fountain. From his own chest, to yours, to Hinata's hair and face, the milky liquid stained itself like a shower.

Looks like you managed to kill two birds with just a stone.

woe, bottoms be upon ye. ill be hibernating in my coffin after this.

#DEADMEAT WRITES #top male reader #top amab reader #amab reader #haikyuu smut #seme male reader

[nickeverdeen]

can u do hcs where five finds female!reader whose powers are very related to the four elements? When he finds her, she's very scared of herself because she accidentally caused a neighborhood to suffer an earthquake, so since that, five takes her under his wings and begins to help her understand her power. (like for example, he figures that her powers are very emotional related. And he starts to be her mentor, helping her control her powers so she doesn't cause a storm when she's sad or angry, or so she can't start burning things when she's panicking, for example)

Five finding female!reader whose powers are related to the four elements and he mentors her

Five stumbles upon you during one of his time jumps, witnessing you accidentally causing an earthquake with your elemental powers

At first, you are terrified of Five, mistaking him for someone from the government coming to take you away

Seeing the fear and confusion in your eyes, Five decides to approach you and offer his help instead

Five becomes a mentor figure to you, teaching you about your powers and helping you understand their nature

Five realizes that your powers are closely tied to your emotions, and he starts to teach you how to control them

Five teaches you techniques to regulate your emotions, preventing you powers from spiraling out of control

Together, you identify triggers that exacerbate your powers, such as anger, fear, or panic

Five helps you learn how to control your powers, starting with simple exercises and gradually increasing the difficulty

You spend hours practicing in secluded areas, away from prying eyes, to avoid causing any more accidents

Five is patient and persistent in his teaching, never giving up on you even when progress is slow

Over time, you learn to trust Five, knowing that he genuinely wants to help you

As you spend more time together, you and Five confide in each other, sharing your fears, doubts, and hopes for the future

Five provides emotional support for you - well he’s trying to - and helping you navigate the challenges of mastering your powers

You both establish a routine for training sessions, setting aside specific times and locations to practice your powers

Five encourages you to experiment with different techniques and approaches to control your powers, finding what works best for you

When you make mistakes or experiences setbacks, Five helps you learn from them and move forward

Five introduces “his student” to the theory behind elemental powers, teaching you about the elements and their influence on the world

You develop a rigorous training regimen to strengthen your control over your powers, incorporating physical, mental, and emotional exercises

Five simulates high-pressure situations to help you practice controlling your powers in stressful environments

Over time, your control over your powers improves, and you gains confidence in your abilities

Five encourages you to push your limits and explore the full extent of your powers, under controlled conditions

As mentor and mentee, you and Five learn from each other’s strengths and weaknesses, growing together in the process

Through your training sessions, together you both discovers new abilities and facets of your elemental powers

Five helps you fine-tune your control over specific elements, focusing on mastering one element at a time

You practice controlling your powers in different environments, from urban settings to natural landscapes, adapting to various challenges

Five teaches you how to navigate public spaces without drawing attention to your powers, blending in seamlessly with your surroundings

You maintain strict secrecy and discretion about your powers, avoiding unnecessary attention and scrutiny

Five creates safe spaces for you to practice your powers without fear of judgment or harm

Five teaches you techniques to conceal your powers from prying eyes, such as masking your energy signature or creating illusions

Five helps you overcome your fear of your own powers, showing you that you have the strength and resilience to control them

Five occasionally pushes you out of your comfort zone to help you grow and expand your abilities

In addition to mastering your powers, Five teaches you basic self-defense techniques to protect yourself in dangerous situations

You delve into the intricacies of energy flow and manipulation, exploring your unique connection to the elements

Five helps you harness elemental energy to enhance your physical abilities, such as agility, strength, and resilience

You discuss the environmental impact of your powers and how to minimize their footprint on the world around you

Five teaches you the importance of balance and harmony in using your powers, avoiding extremes and finding equilibrium

Five shares stories and lore about the elements, drawing from his own experiences and knowledge of the world

You experiment with combining different elements to create powerful synergies and effects

Five teaches you how to project and manipulate elemental auras to enhance your presence and influence

You practice creating elemental shields and barriers for protection and defense against external threats

Five helps you enhance your physical abilities using elemental energy, such as increasing your speed, agility, and endurance

You delve into the realms of the elements, exploring hidden pockets of elemental energy and phenomena

Five introduces you to elemental spirits and entities, teaching you about their nature and significance

You practice channeling elemental forces through rituals and meditative techniques, deepening your connection to the elements

You both discuss strategies for navigating elemental crises and disasters, from earthquakes and floods to wildfires and storms

Five shares knowledge about elemental deities and gods worshipped by ancient civilizations, exploring their mythology and symbolism just to understand this all a bit better

Five teaches you how to assess the environmental impact of your powers and take proactive measures to mitigate potential harm

Both of you explore the possibility of collaborating with elemental beings and entities to amplify your powers and influence

You work towards mastering elemental mastery, achieving complete control and mastery over the elements and their manifestations

Five encourages you to unlock your full elemental potential, pushing you to explore new frontiers and push the boundaries of your abilities

You both delve into your elemental legacy, exploring your ancestral connections to the elements and unlocking dormant powers within your lineage

Five helps you realize your elemental destiny, embracing your role as a guardian of the elements and a champion of balance in the world

Together, you and Five forge a new elemental legacy, leaving your mark on the world and shaping the course of elemental history for generations to come

#request #headcanons #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves #tuafivexreader #five tua #tua headcanon #tua five #tua x reader #tua #tua fanfic #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves x you #number five x reader #five x reader #five hargreaves x you #five hargreaves x reader #number five #five x y/n

[danikamariewrites]

hii i really love ur fics, ur so good at writing🤍🤍🤍🤍 I wanted to ask if i could request one where it’s cassian x reader and they’re in a lowkey relationship bc reader is rhysands sister. one day reader gets so turned on by watching cassian and forgets to shut her mental shields. Both feyre and rhysand hears every dirty thought ab what she wants cassian to do and rhys gets surprised and pissed and just literally wants to die😭😭👀

Personal Thoughts

Cassian x reader

A/n: thank you anon! I hope you like this

Warnings: slightly suggestive and some blood/violence

As you stretch by yourself as you watch Cassian and Azriel spar. You look to the other side of the room and see your brother and Feyre stretching together. You smile at how cute they are together. You hope one day you and Cassian will be like that.

Your relationship is still so new. You’ve only been dating for a few months now but you’re infatuated with each other. No one else knows and you two want to keep it that way for a while. Rhys can get a little to over protective of you and the rest of this family is so gods damn nosy. Honestly it’s a miracle no one knows yet.

Out of the corner of your eye you see Cassian staring at you. Mother forbid you take your eyes off of him for more than two seconds. You roll your eyes at him and he send you a small smirk as he slowly takes his shit off.

Cassian flexes and picks up his sword, spinning it a few times before taking a defensive stance in front of Azriel. Azriel forces Cassian to pivot. He flares his wings and his back muscles flex. You didn’t even know he could do that.

And his ass! His ass is so gods damned perfect you just want to squeeze it. You stare absentmindedly taking in the fight. All you can think about is your date last night. He took you out to dinner at a fancy restaurant and when you got home he absolutely ravished you.

His head was between your legs for what felt like hours. And he took his time exploring every inch of you. When you two were done Cassian drew a bath for the two of you. He treats you like the princess you are and shows you nothing but respect. Cassian truly is a gentleman which you think a lot of people over look.

As you keep going through your memories you feel a familiar presence. It’s Rhysand looking at your memories with you. Shit.

Before you can push him out Rhys pulls back. You look over at him and his face is crimson with anger. Clearly he didn’t take into account how happy you were with Cassian. And how dare he look into your personal thoughts without permission! He always asks.

Rhys runs at Cassian tackling him to the ground and pinning him. Azriel jumps back, confused by the situation unfolding in front of him. “Rhys what the hell-“ he’s cut off by Rhys’ fist. A crunching sounding from his nose.

You jump up and tackle Rhys off of Cassian. “Those were my private thoughts! What the fuck is wrong with you?” You scream in your brothers face. “I wish I could burn my eyes after seeing that shit!” “Oh grow up you big baby!” You start to fight Rhys. His mistake is that he doesn’t take you seriously and you land a few good punches before Cassian picks you up and pins your arms.

Azriel holds Rhys back while Feyre stands to the side with her hands held out in both directions. Rhys gives Cassian a death glare. “Are you serious? My sister?” You look at Cassian and he goes slightly pale. “While you were intruding did you not feel my happiness? All the joy he brings me?”

Rhys’ jaw works as he tries to hold in his anger. “Rhysand.” Feyre says sternly. “Apologize to your sister. That was so wrong.” His face softens when he looks at her. You can tell they’re speaking mind-to-mind the way his expression changes.

“Look again Rhys.” You snap. You let him in and show him the overwhelming joy of being with Cassian. The love that he gives you everyday. Cassian lets go of you, confident you won’t try to beat your brother again. “Cassian,” his head snaps toward Rhys, “if you hurt her I’m going to kill you.” He nods, “I would never do that. I love her too much.”

You stand there stunned, looking up at his bloody face. “I love you too.” The words just flow from your mouth without even thinking. You hadn’t said that to each other yet. You smile at him and rise to kiss his cheek. Cassian smiles back at you, reaching out to hold your hand.

You hear Rhys make a fake puking sound. “Hey I don’t do that to you and Feyre.” “Feyre’s not your sister.” You stick your tongue at him. “I’m happy for you two.” Feyre says with a smile. “And don’t listen to your brother, he’ll come around soon.”

“I’m sorry.” Rhys says in your mind. “Yeah, yeah just don’t do it again or I’ll snap your wrists.” “Ouch. Are you this violent with Cassian?”

Azriel, Rhys, and Feyre head inside and you turn to Cassian. “Oh baby, your nose. Let’s get you cleaned up.” Cassian rubbed at the dried blood caked in his nose, “I’m fine sweetheart. You don’t have to take care of me.” You roll your eyes and pull him toward the door. “You’re taking a bath. And I’ll even rub your shoulders like you like.” Your tone slightly teasing.

Cassian kisses the top of your head. “You know now that I’m thinking about it, I’m so sore from training and Rhys beating me up. I might need more than a shoulder rub.” He smirks at you.

#acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar reader fic #acotar reader imagine #acotar imagine #cassian acotar #cassian x reader #cassian x you #cassian imagine #Cassian blurb #cassian fluff #cassian fanfic

[sakuraharuno156]

Why Sakura Haruno is literally the best written character in Naruto - a rant.

She is the epitome of Narutos meaning.

So, main question is, what is Naruto about? On most surfaces level - about fox-boy having adventures, but that's not why most of us fell in love with the story. Below fox-boy, was fighting against your odds, learning, failing, getting back up, trying and becoming stronger, and most importantly about this quote:

"You dont have to be born a genius, you can become one".

This is what Naruto was about.

Arc with Haku and Zabuza? Find someone worth fighting for and become stronger for that person.

Chunnin exams? Naruto gives his all against Neji, to prove him, that you don't have to be born special, you can become special.

3rd Hokage vs Orochimaru - will of fire, that pushes you to protect your family, will keep the village alive.

Naruto vs Gaara - you can be hated and ignored all your life for your weakness, but if you keep trying people will notice you.

And so on and do forth.

But then we learned that Naruto was born to hokage and an Uzumaki. He got shit ton of chakra and a LITERAL beast in him to protect him. He was born great and to be great.

He failed his own narrative.

Menwhile Sakura was born a civilian, a noone, no magic eyes, no beast to help, no clan to learn from, nothing. She was an annoying girl with no aspiration. Thats it. Everything else she has is just her hard work and dedication. She become stronger than most of people "born great", just by trying to help people she cares about.

She is everything Naruto was set-up to be.

Is she a perfect person? No. And this is exactly what makes her a perfect character.

She's is flawed, she's sometimes emotional, she's not always confident and not always THE BEST BECAUSE PLOT.

SHE IS THE MOST HUMAN AND THE MOST INSPIRING.

And its annoying af when people dont understand her character, because that shows they didn't understand the story AT ALL.

She did her best and made mistakes but grown because of them.

Oh i was weak and couldn't protect my friends when they needed me? I'll do my best now, and try to be better next time.

She didn't give up and decided "well I'm weak so I'll stay that way". She trained under the strongest kunoichi of her time, who was beating her till she was unconscious and had many of her bones broken, because "Tsunade can heal her later".

Sakura from beginning would just give up, because 1) why bother when she can be pretty and 2) it hurts and takes time so it's easier to give up.

But she has grown.

AND THE WORST OF ALL IS that she gets shit for everything Naruto is praised for.

Naruto is understanding Sasuke and wants him to be back - great friend.

Sakura does the same (she understands him even more in first part- she is the only one who know that Sasuke is about to leave the village)- delusional SIMP (even when it was stated in manga that she didn't want him to herself, she wanted to safe him).

Naruto throws himself into fight he has no chance in to be a distraction - WOW SO SMART. HE IS GREAT.

Sakura does the same - weak. Delusional.

Naruto is always getting help during fights - he wins by himself.

Sakura gets bit of help from Chiyo (even when Chiyo stated herself that Sakura didn't need her) - WELL SHE DID NOTHING, IT WAS CHIYOS FIGHT.

Naruto is rude to everyone, BUT GROWS FROM IT- he was just a kid, that doesn't matter. He is a different person now.

Sakura was rude to someone, qpologies and grows from it - ITS UNFORGETTABLE. SHES A B*TCH.

What you all expected her to do?

- She is weak! - she became strong. BUT NOT AS STRONG AS THE STRONGEST, so its shit.

- She's rude to Naruto and made fun of a orphan - she was one of first people who cared about Naruto and opened a clinic for children's mental health - BUT WHEN SHE WAS 12 SHE SAID BAD THING SO STILL A B*TCH.

- She couldn't help Naruto and Sasuke in forests of death - she became a healer - BUT SHE DIDN'T HEAL EVERYONE EVERYTIME.

- She is useless - she isn't, she saved many people (including Naruto), and was especially useful during pain invasion - BUT WHEN NOONE COULD DO A THING AGAINST PAIN SHE COULDN'T ALSO SO SHES TRASH.

She gets trashed for things other people do and noone even bats an eye.

- But she punched Naruto! - so did Guy to Lee but you love them both and their relationship.

I've never seen someone call guy "abusive".

- But she was mean to Naruto! - so was everyone else, but I've never seen them risk their life to safe Naruto or his dream.

- But she only cares about Sasuke - no, no she doesn't, she cares for MANY PEOPLE like Naruto, Shikamaru ect. She even takes Naruto's side against Sasuke.

She also did many shitty things, don't get me wrong (like fight against Ino, I think she needed this to bloom, but it was indeed shit behavior), but so did everyone else.

Example - Naruto:

TALKING LIKE THAT TO A CHILD WHO LOST ALMOST EVERYTHING????? UNFORGETTABLE. RIGHT? Right?

About people like Sasuke, Gaara, Hinata, Neji, 3rd Hokage ect. I'm not going to talk because it will be material for whole different posts and it's already getting too long.

In summary:

You all are just Nejis from chunnin exams.

"Either you are born perfect or die a failure."

You all are just villagers form beginning of the series.

"WELL SOMEONE DID A BAD THINGS AT THE BEGINNING AND WAS WEAK SO I HATE THEM"

You all didn't understand Naruto as a story at all.

She is a perfect character form Naruto's definition - a noone who became important.

#anti studio pierrot #pro sakura #pro sakura haruno #pro sakura uchiha #naruto #pro naruto manga #naruto manga #haruno sakura #sakura haruno #anti sakura haters #pro sasusaku #sasusaku

[slocumjoe]

Do you have any random headcanons about any of the comapnions that you want to get off your chest?

Oh, 100%. A lot of this is mostly inter-personal headcanons, how they react to each other. Very found-family based, heavily pushing my "Hancock and Danse become besties" agenda. Less based on the individual. Oh, and follows the "all move to Sanctuary" thing, so people who don't like that might not buy in to this.

Companion Headcanon Grab-bag

Cait; Really confused about her sexuality internally. Has changed her mind on her labels so many times. Is she gay? Bi? Pan? Straight? Ace? Sex-repulsed? Hypersexual? She likes sex sometimes and other times she hates the concept. What's her type of person, if any? What does she want out of a relationship? Just sex? What would she need in a partner? Tries to not think about it, so damn confusing. Just follows her whims. Would get on great with an elder queer person, really needs some guidance there. Also, has a fear of monkeys, apes, etc. Jangle toys and those cymbal monkeys. Fucking horrifying.

Codsworth; Babies the other companions like a mom. Putters around the bunkhouse making sure Piper eats something before she's out the door, cleaning up after Hancock's midnight snack, picking MacCready's coat off the back of a chair, hovering to block Danse's view of the coffee pot as Nick adds honey and sugar for him specifically. It's one house with a dozen adults of questionable emotional and mental stability. It's a robot butler's Olympics. Outside of the others...has spent two centuries trying to kill one single radroach. Its the same one, he's sure of it. It lives under the bridge and appears only under a full moon. It is his mortal enemy.

Curie; The most intimidating girl in the bunkhouse, not Cait. Because Curie doesn't put up with any bullshit. You look pale, come here and let—come here and let her feel your forehead. Too hot, you're taking the day off. She'll make you some tea—no, Danse, she doesn't care if that one joint on your Power Armor is bugging you. Bed. Does she need to go get Nick? She'll get Nick. Excellent! What kind of tea would you like? Curie is very sweet and caring, but she’s a hardass when it comes to the health of her compatriots. And you can't just...refuse. Maybe you could, but...no one's ever tried. Even Gage gives up once she smiles and tilts her head, but narrows her eyes. Fucking Gage.

Danse; You can tell he's feeling under the weather, be it mental or physical, if he hides from Curie. Danse ends up getting on pretty well with Hancock, Nick, Cait, and Preston once he's better from BB. Hancock reminds him a lot of Cutler, in some ways. Cait reminds him of many Initiates, hotheaded and eager but lost on their place in the world. Nick mentors him on the synth thing, and he and Preston are very similar. Once he's mostly adjusted from everything, adopts a...questionable wardrobe, things he would have worn in the Brotherhood if not for the uniform. Adores gaudy, odd-patterned shirts, bright colors.

Deacon; After the Institute is dealt with, by any means, and he has something of a support group with Sole and the others...goes back to Deacon. Its hard, it takes a lot of time, but he stops the home-grown identity crisis. He grows his hair out again, gets a charming grey-red stubble. Still likes costumes and such, but he tries to stay the one person, not fake anything. Again, very difficult. But he tries. Has an odd kinship with X6-88. X6-88 tries to figure out his identity, Deacon tries to relearn his. Also gets along better with Danse and Hancock, understands the "who am I" thing. But the real pals? Deacon and Jun Long. Jun's hype man. Gets what he went through; University Point was destroyed long after Deacon left, but that was still his home. And losing his son...Deacon respects that Jun kept chugging. Tries to help him regain his confidence.

Gage; This is a domesticated Gage, as much as Gage can be domesticated. Always has a horrific story that he likes to pepper into conversations. Deacon tries to one-up him, but Gage always wins, partially because Gage is telling the whole-ass truth. Never says anything about himself, though. Socially hovers around Longfellow, really curious about all of his stories. But Gage keeps his distance far, faaaar from everyone else. Marcy Long swung a folding chair at him, his first day visiting Sanctuary. Thinks little of Preston at first, but the moment he notices that they're almost the same person, just on the other side of the coin, has a crisis. Catches himself not criticizing Preston at one point, when he could have, and has to start a fistfight with him to feel better. Gets along great with Shaun and other local kids, who are into his raider stories. Marcy keeps hunting him for sport, though, so he only has a few minutes to talk before a rake goes for the other eye.

Hancock; Opinion of Danse does a complete flip the very second Danse apologizes. Hancock rubbed it all in his face, took schadenfreude in it. Then Danse's mental health dissolved into goo, and it stopped being funny. And then Hancock felt like fucking shit when the racist technofacist was the bigger man who felt terrible looking back on everything. It took time for their relationship to go from hostile, to civil, to friendly, but Hancock is basically a sphinx cat that wants to drape himself over Danse and cuddle all day. Danse, for his part, is grateful that Hancock could forgive him at all. Also, considers MacCready a brother, no exaggeration. Bobby is his little brother, Duncan is his nephew, blood be damned. It's good for him, after what happened with McDonough. Still refuses to process that. He never was on good terms with him, anyway, but...nope, not thinking about it. Doesn't do chems around Duncan, knows Bobby is iffy about it.

MacCready; Really didn't want to introduce Hancock to Duncan, for fear of Duncan having some...lingering memories about Ghouls. Nope. Duncan loves Uncle John to the moon and back. If Hancock isn't hugging on Danse, he's hugging on Duncan. Also befriends Jun, though he feels some guilt at his baby having survived. MacCready spends a lot of his downtime trying to educate himself, reads. Does those school workbooks if he can find them. Is really entertained by the notes left from the students using them, then gets miserable when he thinks about what happened to them. Incredible at any accuracy-based game. Don't challenge this man to ping-pong.

Nick; Resident therapist. Has, in earnest, considered installing a confessions box in the bunkhouse. Just when he thinks he's heard the worst of their lives, Hancock will remember that his brother buried him alive, or Piper mentions that her dad kept twitching at the funeral as they burned him, or Gage says one sentence about an ex-boyfriend. Then he reminds himself, yeah, these kids are Traumatized with a capital T. Wishes he could drink. Has a list of people to check on in order of priority, every week. Preston is first, Gage is last. Both reasons being, both have so many issues, but won't talk about them. Bangs his head on a wall when he notices this. Sits with Codsworth some afternoons and they share a private nervous breakdown. Has considered getting a gen 3 body, but...he'd want a custom, not someone else's, like Curie's situation. And not like OG Nick, either. Himself. Whatever that looks like.

Piper; Not over her parents dying and never will be. She was 14 when her dad died. Mom died giving birth to Nat. Had to be a mom, and then a mom and a dad, when she herself was a kid, still. Clings to the newspaper because it was all she had, her only power as a little girl alone in the Commonwealth with a toddler. Things get easier, but never less painful. Relocating to Sanctuary made things a bit better, especially since McDonough couldn't threaten to throw them out anymore. Jumped and screamed in place when she was proven right about him. Stopped when she noticed Hancock upset. Continued when she was out of his view, but quieter. Befriends everyone to some extent, but Gage. Gage has some...irritating opinions on the press, chief being, "Hey, you got everyone to kill each other, sounds like. What, that weren't the goal?"

No. What kind of name is Porter, anyway? Ugh.

Preston; So much pent up anger and frustration. Will never let it out. The restraint it takes to keep from maiming Gage like a fucking alligator could hold up the Prydwen if made a physical force. Very confused on what Gage thinks of him, though. Seems to change daily. But hey, he's always down to throw Gage out of a window. 10/10 way to spend an afternoon, eagerly looking forward to next time. Goes drinking with Danse often. Keeps an eye on Nick, sends Sturges his way if he starts making odd noises when he moves. Tries to keep some distance from the others. He lost people he thought family on Quincy...and some them, they didn't die. That was the bitterest thing of all, that they lived before anyone else.

X6-88; Has an interest in art but loathe to act on it. Very attached to his coat. Had a father figure in the Institute, was his personal servant. That man was killed by a rogue synth. X6-88 joined the courser program after the funeral. Protective of Shaun, ends up being popular with his child friends/classmates, who are all curious about the tall, dark man who doesn't speak much but holds Shaun's hand. Privately, X6-88 considered himself a child, young, once. Shaun is literally a child synth. That has to be confusing, being the ghost of dead man, made for his living parent. Dislikes Gage the most, dislikes Piper and Danse the least. Learns to respect Preston, even if he disagrees on his philosophies; at least someone on the top was trying to restore the world, even if it wasn't quite working. Has a fondness for sour apple candy.

#fo4 #fallout 4 #paladin danse #preston garvey #piper wright #nick valentine #x6-88 #robert joseph maccready #companions react #porter gage #codsworth

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Wildest dreams, pt. 29

Summary: Reunited, Paul and Y/N make a decision that's long-overdue: to get married.

Warnings: angst, fluff, sexual innuendos, swearing, talking about death, mental health issues and suicide

Wildest Dreams Masterlist

————————————

There are many things life had taken from Y/N – her mother, serotonin, confidence, it had stolen her friends for over a decade and in doing so, it had taken her soulmate from her long enough to take away her will to live and now it wants to steal her future too.

All she wanted seemed so far out of reach that there was absolutely no part of her heart that wanted to keep fighting. It was undeniable that Y/N gave up, too tired to give a shit about anything other than her father who was still living in La Push in the same house she grew up in.

Last thing Y/N expected was to run into a man she claimed to detest, much less to lose herself in his chocolate brown eyes and cocky smile that held the breath of life she was searching for.

Paul is all she needed that day, even if she didn’t know it back then.

Today is different.

Her hair is curled, lightly pulled back with a few locks framing her round face. Inhaling sharply, she holds her breath as Emily helps lace up Y/N’s corset. It’s not something Y/N really wanted for her wedding dress, but it defines her curves perfectly in the way she knows Paul will struggle to keep his hands to himself and she loves teasing him. It’s nothing compared to the lacy panties she bought for the occasion, red just as Paul adores. Stifling a laugh at the thought, Y/N exhales loudly as if to release all that troubled her before.

“That was an interestingly loud breath”, Bella notes with a soft smile.

Bella carefully unwraps the elegant, gift-wrapped box, revealing a stunning pair of blue sapphire earrings that gleam in the soft light. The rich, deep blue of the sapphires is breathtaking, reminiscent of the evening sky. Each earring dangles gracefully from a platinum stud, exuding an air of luxury and sophistication. The sapphires themselves are an exquisite shade of blue, akin to the rarest sapphires Y/N would imagine are found only in the most prestigious of collections of royals that once were. The hue is vibrant yet subtle, evoking a sense of calm and tranquility. As the light catches them, it seems to dance across the surface, creating an illusion of stars twinkling within. Surrounding the sapphires are clusters of dazzling diamonds, their brilliance enhancing the allure of the deep blue gemstones. The diamonds are meticulously set, forming a delicate halo around each sapphire.

Gasping at the sight, Y/N’s eyes widen as Bella’s smile grows.

“Something new and blue”, she exclaims. “Jacob said you always likes sapphires but never really wanted to spend much money on yourself, so Edward and I decided it would be a fitting wedding gift.”

“I”, placing a hand on her chest, Y/N swallows thickly. “It’s too much! I can’t-“

“You can”, Bella insists. “Honestly, this is timid compared to what the rest of the family got for your wedding.”

Raising her eyebrows at Bella's words, Y/N coughs as she nearly chokes on her saliva. "Timid?" she manages to say, her voice a mix of surprise and amusement. She glances at the earrings, utterly dazzled by their beauty. To her, they are anything but timid. Each sapphire seems to hold a universe within. “These are breathtaking! I think the earrings would be enough of a gift for the whole family. There’s no need for anything else.”

“Jasper and Alice literally bought you a whole collection of gala dresses by a famous designer he saw you looking at on Tiktok”, Renesmee chuckles. “You’re kind of stuck with a lot of megalomaniacs in gift giving.”

With shaky hands, Y/N accepts the earrings, carefully putting them on. Giving herself a good look in the mirror, she bites her lower lip to stop the grin threatening to spread across her face. She loves them, but it still doesn’t feel right accepting such an expensive present.

As she looked at the earrings, she couldn’t believe the girl looking back at her in the mirror. Off-the-shoulder sleeves delicately frame her collarbones while the neckline plunges into a gentle V, revealing a light cleavage without being overly revealing. A tasteful slit graces the front of the gown, starting mid-thigh, yet another reason she hopes would get Paul sweating. Pearls embellish the bodice and cascade down the flowy skirt. Each pearl seems to catch the light, reflecting a gentle, ethereal glow.

It might not be the dress she envisioned getting married in, but it’s perfect for her. She’ll have to thank Alice and Esme on their help finding a dress so quickly and especially thank Claire and Leah for convincing her the dress will be perfect for her.

“Are you alright?” Daisy asks quietly. “If this is happening a little too quickly for you, no one will mind delaying it for a few more weeks.”

Shaking her head, Y/N forces a small smile. She might not have a few more weeks.

“It’s long overdue.” Turning to face Daisy, she takes her hand gently. “I wish I did this years ago. We could have done so much more if I knew our time together was limited.”

Pressing her lips in a thin line, Daisy nods. “Getting married is just a party to commemorate what you two already have. There’s not a soul who’d contest your love. Paul adores you and not in a ‘she’s my imprint’ kind of way, more like ‘she put the sun in the sky’ kind of a way.”

Nodding, Y/N holds back tears. “I know”, she whispers, her voice a delicate quiver of emotion. “Ah, Alice will murder you if I ruin my makeup!”

“Me? What did I do?!”

“You’re the one making me cry”, Y/N chuckles, her laughter laced with a hint of sentiment, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

In a split second, Alice appears beside Y/N with a stern look on her face. “Did I hear a sniffle?”

A mischievous smile plays on Daisy's lips as she exchanges a knowing glance with Y/N before they both burst out laughing.

“It’s not funny!” Alice protests, her stern facade giving way to a subtle grin. But even she can't resist the contagious laughter that fills the room.

Leaning on a tree with his hands tucked in his dress pants, Paul’s eyes are focused on the windows of his home.

“Hoping to catch a glimpse of the bride?” Jared teases, a playful glint in his eyes.

“He wouldn’t dare, because Y/N would kill him”, Embry remarks, a smile tugging at his lips.

Sighing, Paul rubs his temples in exasperation as Jacob chimes in. “She’d probably torture him first and then kill him. For funsies.”

“Actually”, Embry rubs his chin, “she would! And she’s a damn doctor! Probably knows how to keep a person alive long enough to inflict as much pain as humanly possible!”

“We’re not human”, Jared points out. “It’s probably longer for us.”

Shaking his head fondly, Paul looks to his brothers with a smirk. “You’ll get us caught. If you plan on hanging out here, be quiet so I can see my soon-to-be wife.”

“Ooooh, someone’s nervous!” Quill joins the group, grinning mischievously.

“More like clingy”, Jacob chuckles. “He’s missing Y/N.”

“He literally saw her this morning”, Quill states matter-of-factly.

Paul refused to part with Y/N ever since he came home because the mere thought of leaving her side felt like tearing more and more layers of his sanity. The moment he stepped into the house, Y/N wrapped herself around him so tightly that his heart trembled with the outpour of love she gave him. Instead of being angry at his cowardice, as she should be, Y/N bandaged his bleeding wounds and held him close for the entire weekend. The same night, he asked her to have a wedding soon and she didn’t hesitate.

That was five days ago. The entire pack and Cullen clan worked hard on preparing a beach wedding in the midst of rainy season, but today they’ve lucked out with grey skies but no rain in sight. Paul’s a little worried Y/N will be cold with the wind so close to the shore, but he’s more than happy to have her in his arms the whole time if need be. The very thought of being her warmth brings comfort – her favorite blanket as she once called him.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of watching her”, Paul admits, tenderness palpable in his voice. His eyes soften as they lock onto the windows of their home, praying Y/N will come closer and smile at him. He bites his lip as he suddenly catches a glimpse of white only for his hopes to disappear by Rosalie’s grinning as she swiftly closes the blinds.

Growling lowly, he rolls his eyes, frustration mingling with impatience. “I hate her.”

“She’s not so bad once you get used to her”, Jacob shrugs. “If anything, she’s probably your biggest ally in the family.”

“Doesn’t do me much good when Y/N has made her decision.”

Embry scoffs, “She can still change her mind.”

“Would you want her to”, Quill asks, genuinely confused by their discussion.

“Yes”, Paul exclaims.

“It wouldn’t be Y/N anymore”, Quill reminds them. “She’d be just another Cullen.”

“That’s not true”, Jacob retorts. “Bella is proof.”

“Bella is an exception. I think Y/N understands that!”

Anger quickly spreads through Paul, pulsing in his veins. This is one of the most important days of his life, and his brothers decided to start an argument over a very sore subject.

Quickly approaching, Sam and Seth seem annoyed by their brothers.

“If you’re here to pester me too, I’m not in the mood”; Paul remarks bitterly.

“I was coming to find you because the girls are ready to leave, but if you want to stand here like idiots, arguing about something you have no right to judge, be my guest!” Sam turns on his heel, leaving immediately.

Putting his hands in his front pockets, Seth purses his lips, lifting his eyebrows. “So, if anyone is wondering what side I’m on- “

“We’re not”, Quill and Embry exclaim before heading toward the beach. Shrugging, Jared taps Paul’s shoulder before leaving, not adding any more burdens of opinion on his back.

Looking at Seth, Paul sighs. “Say it.”

“What?”

“What you were going to say. I’m a grown man, I can handle whatever your opinion is.”

Scratching the back of his neck, Seth smiles awkwardly. “I’d want her to live too. If it was my imprint, I’d do what I need to in order to ensure she lives. She can spend an eternity hating me, but at least I’d argue with her instead of her ghost.”

“Y/N explicitly said no”, Paul sighs. “How would I be a good husband to her if I can’t even respect her decisions?”

“You’d be a good husband by having an alive wife.”

“We should go”; Jacob nods toward the trees. “Can’t tell the girls to leave before we get there. Alice specifically said to text once you’re on the beach.”

Chuckling, Paul nods. Sending a quick glance at the bedroom window, his smile becomes a shit-eating grin as he catches Y/N peeking out to see him. She must have heard his voice.

“I love you”, he mouths, hoping she understands.

Paul didn’t walk; he ran to the beach. If his presence at the beach is the ONLY way Alice would allow him to see Y/N again, he wasn’t about to prolong his torture.

Smiling ear from ear, he feels his heartbeat pick up pace as he stares at the trees, waiting for Y/N to appear. He barely saw her through the window, but Paul knows she’ll take his breath away like she always does. It was enough for Y/N to exist for Paul’s knees to tremble – the simple things had him begging for mercy. The way she bites her lower lip tests his self-control far too often and her smile causes so many skipped heartbeats that he's certain she’d have him on medication if she had even the slightest inkling of the way she made him feel.

“You seem nervous”, Sam raises a brow. “I can hear it”, he chuckles.

Shaking his head, Paul grins. “I’m not. I just can’t wait to call her my wife.”

Paul can't help but smile, remembering her shy peek from the window. Y/N misses him too, he can feel it. He can almost feel her presence, as if she's close, her warmth wrapping around him even before she appears.

The wind carries the scent of the ocean, mixing with the subtle fragrance of lilies Alice shipped in from who knows where. It made Y/N happy to see them, and that was enough for Paul to like the Pixie Cullen a lot more.

The wind picks up. Paul can almost taste the ocean salt carried in the air. If he were a poet, he’d say his love for Y/N is measured by the amount of salt found in the ocean, but he doesn’t deem the comparison worthy of the true depths his love possesses. There are no earthly words that can ever describe the way Paul’s entire being is comprised of love for this one woman – the woman who once hated him, who had still given him a chance to show her his true self. Despite his fears, Y/N fell in love with his soul, the good and the bad – the only one who truly accepted both parts.

As the seconds tick by, each heartbeat resounds in his ears. Maybe he is nervous – what if she changes her mind and runs for the hills? He wouldn’t blame her. God knows he’s less than deserving of a woman as good as Y/N, but she makes him want to work toward being worth the effort she puts into their relationship.

“What’s taking them so long?” Jared grumbles, his impatience evident in the creases of his forehead.

“You were mocking Paul for being imprint-obsessed minutes ago and now you’re the one whining,” Embry mocks. “Can you seriously not be away from them for a few hours?”

“I can”, Jared remarks. “I just don’t want to.”

Furrowing his eyebrows, Paul turns to Jacob. “You did send the text, right?”

“Yes.”

“Did Alice text back or anything?” Paul continues, anxiety starting to creep into his voice. “They should have gotten here by now.”

Edward moves closer, his eyes carrying concern Paul instantly recognizes.

“What do you hear”, Paul raises his eyebrows. “Are they running late?” But he knows that wouldn’t warrant the frozen look on Edward’s face. “Tell me.”

“I don’t hear anything”, Edward states stiffly. “Not a single sound or thought.”

Swallowing thickly, Jacob starts walking backwards toward the house. “I’ll check on them.”

Snorting in disbelief, Paul follows after with haste. “I’m not waiting here.”

Edward joins their walk back, and so does everyone else. “It could be just Bella trying to bring an element of surprise to the ceremony.”

“If that’s her idea of surprise, it would be seriously fucked up”, Embry scowls.

“We’d feel if something was wrong”, Quill tries to lighten the mood, but even he’s sweating as anxiety wraps itself around his throat.

“It’s probably nothing to worry about”, Jasper’s words come with a wave of relief to the pack, adding to Paul’s annoyance.

“Do not manipulate me into worrying less.”

“I’m trying to keep everyone at ease so you don’t lose control on your wedding day”, Jasper responds. “It’s the last thing Y/N would want today.”

“I don’t think you telling Paul what Y/N would want is a good idea right now”, Emmett advises. Tension in the air thickens, mirroring the palpable worry and anticipation as they thread back to the house, each step heavier with a sense of foreboding.

A sudden, blood-curdling scream fills the air. It’s a sound filled with pure terror, an agonizing cry that pierces through the coastal breeze, freezing the pack and Cullens in their tracks as the scream echoes in their ears, leaving them momentarily paralyzed.

Paul's eyes widen, and his body goes rigid, every nerve electrified with a surge of adrenaline. His heart, which was racing before, seems to have doubled its pace. The dread in the pit of his stomach morphs into a gnawing anxiety that threatens to consume him.

"I know that scream," Paul gasps out, his voice laced with disbelief and a rising horror.

Jacob, too, is stricken, his expression a mask of terror mingled with urgency. The color drains from his face, replaced by a pallor of fear. He turns sharply toward the direction of the scream, his instincts screaming at him to move.

Without a second thought, they all run, their instincts taking over.

"Y/N," Paul whispers under his breath, a prayer escaping his lips.

Each step is a sprint, heartbeats thundering in their ears as they race toward the source of the scream. The Cullens have already gone far ahead. Dread tightens its grip on them, a suffocating force that urges them to move faster, to get to Y/N as soon as possible.

Paul's mind races, a thousand thoughts colliding. He pushes himself harder, the fear for his soon-to-be wife taking over his senses. He considers shifting for a moment, but he can’t…He can’t risk not being human if she needs him.

The forest feels oppressive, the trees closing in around them like silent witnesses to their desperation. Yet, the sound of Y/N’s scream echoes through the woods, a beacon of urgency.

Paul's chest tightens, a dreadful realization settling in. The possibilities race through his mind, each one more terrifying than the last. His breaths come in short, rapid bursts, every step heavier than the last, weighted with the dread of what they might find.

Tags: @notperfect-justme @sucker4seresin @ahoyyharrington @b-tchymoon​ @squiddaloo​ @abbiesxox​ @kellyashcroft​  @the-chaotic-cow​​ @xxxjaexxx​​ @captainrogers-19​​ @bexloxl​​ @llovergirlll​​ @adaydreamaway08​​ @sunsetevergreen​​ @volturiwolf​​ @twihard08​​ @galacticstxrdust​​ @sorrow-and-bliss​​ @ireadthensuetheauthors​​ @missxmarvelous​​ @locokoca​​ @unstablekay​​ @makhaia​​ @venusdelaroix​​ @avadakadabra93​​ @tearsforhan​​ @a-marie-a​​ @lendeluxe​​ @seagulls-corner​​ @jdbxws​​ @konigslilslut​​ @rottenstyx​​ @itsmytimetoodream​​ @dreamerwasfound​​ @convolutings​​  @thingfromlove​​ @jennyamanda8​​ @havecourage-darling​​ @luvr-exe​​ @alittlejudgemental​​ @turningtoclown​​ @emptydoorsandpaintedwindows​​ @marvelmenarebeautiful​​ @bringmethe-world​​ @alitaar​​ @sugasthreedollarkookie​​ @chloe-skywalker​​ @heyheyheyggg​​ @feral-ratatattat-king​​ @queereddie​​ @fandomrulesall-blog​​ @queenotaku27​​ @dcgoddess​​ @lilac-crowns-blog​​ @small-town-wayward-daughter​​ @yourqueentp​​ @boreddemigodd​​ @chaosgoblinreblogsthings​​ @felinegrate​​ @lunajay33​​ @gtfoana​​ @hpboysslut2707​​ @tpwk-harry-styles​​ @amberpanda99​​ @let-love-bleeds-red​​ @mo-s-blog​​​ @nj01​​ @myheadsinanotherworld​​ @problematicpastry​​ @witchybabel

A/N: Genuinely don't know if the tags are working again. I have no clue what Tumblr did to the blog tagging with the new text editor, but it's definitely off somehow. Let me know if you received a notification if you come across the post.

PART 30

#twilight #paul lahote angst #paul lahote #paul lahote x reader #paul lahote series #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote fic #paul lahote fanfic #twilight fanfiction #twilight fandom #twilight saga #twilight fic #jacob black #jasper hale #the cullens

[padfootdaredmetoo]

HEYYYYY LOVE!!!! I hope you’re doing well. I don’t k ow if your taking request at the moment but I was hoping to give you the idea of like a Grace parallel and what I mean by that basically is tommy x daughter! Reader where like Tommy’s and graces relationship, y/n would be like in school or simply waking down the streets of small heath and she meets this boy who is taken with her and they grow to like eachother and stuff, you could chooses if tommy knows abt them or he finds out later (after the love interest betrayal) and then y/n finds out that he’s the the son of Luca, Alice, or one of sabinis men and was tasked at cuddling up to “the tommy Shelby’s daughter” and hoping to get info on her. Y/n finding out being absolutely crushed, tommy finds out either through a meeting with the love intrests fathers (Luca, Allie, or Sabini) boasting abt their son tricking his daughter or whatever, tommy absolutely fucking livid, finds y/n bawling her eyes out, tommy can’t help but think of Grace while he comforts his girl. And BTW the love interest has feeling for y/n and feels horrible for what he did so he definitely grovels up to you to decide if y/n gets back together with him or not

Dear Anon,

Sorry this took forever. I have no idea what the quality is with my current mental state. It's pretty angsty, more Lizzie x Tommy than I thought there would be but once I start with them I can't help myself.

Warnings: Heart break, peaky typical violence & themes, abandonment from a parent, learning to accept a new potential parent, underage drinking, soft comfort dad Tommy

I really hope you like it <3

Looking up from the pages of your book to sneak a look one last time, you realized the boy's eyes were locked on to you. A blush covered your cheeks and you looked back at your book in embarrassment. You said a silent prayer that he would just move along, and take no notice. But he moved across the busy street to where you were sitting. 

Being surrounded by strong men your whole life, combined with your mind always being tucked away in various novels, gave you very high expectations as to how men should act around you. This being said it was rare that someone would be able to earn a double take or a moment's glance. 

An odd feeling washed over you as you saw him coming toward you. He had a sense of confidence that radiated into his gaze making it feel almost predatory. Like he was sizing you up to see how much of a challenge you were going to be. 

You kept these feelings at the front of your mind all too aware of what consequences the world suffferes at the hands of weak men. Either he had the brains and awareness to back up his seemingly confident nature, or he was just arrogant and you would climb the steps into the betting shop and forget about him altogether. 

“Good morning,” He said with a bright smile. 

“Morning.” You smiled tensely. 

“What are you reading ?” He nodded to the book in your lap and lit a cigarette. You watch how he easily leaned against the railing. Looking down at you with big brown eyes. 

His questions started and he eventually took a seat next to you on the steps. An hour or so passed by and you were enamored by the challenge his conversations brought you. Gave you a chance to execute your opinions and be to be awarded praise for it brought a thick blush to your cheeks.

“Can I ask you out for dinner later?” He asked you, the was a boyish nervousness that put you at ease over the situation, you paused thinking about what you would say to your father. “If not a date, then as an opportunity to finish this conversation.” 

“Well for the sake of pushing the augment further… I could make some time tonight.” 

“Busy schedule then? Hope I’m not taking you away from a lover?” 

You only responded with a laugh that earned you another charming smile. 

“I’m Leonardo by the way.” He held out his hand and you shook it, giving him your first name.

“Pleasure to meet you.” He kept hold of your hand placing a kiss on the back of your hand. Redness seemed to be permanently etched onto the skin of your cheeks at this point. He only looked at you in adoration before taking a step onto the street. 

“Meet me at the Stag & Hound around 7?” 

“I’ll try to make it -” You were about to explain that it might not be possible for you to get approval that late in the evening. Not to mention that pub was outside of the usual Peaky-owned area. Just a bit out of bounds.

“I understand” He gave you a nod and walked down the street. Conflict rose over your body and you thought about your family, they’d done much, much, much worse than sneaking out for a date by your age. What harm could be done? It was a public place, it wouldn't be too late…. 

_______________________________________________

One date turned into many, and it wasn't long before he’d kissed you. Down by the cut, the moon shone brightly above the two of you. He’d slipped a necklace around your neck, wanting to give you something that said you were his. It was a silver locket with a small purple flower inside. Same flowers you’d pointed out on your first date. 

The attention to detail made your heart pound. You kissed him till you didn't feel like kissing anymore. You’d snuck back into your makeshift bedroom at Watery lane. All thoughts of longing for your proper room at Arrow house were pushed from your mind. Thoughts were swirling in your head about Leo. 

Once you’d gotten washed up for bed you laid there looking at the peeling wallpaper on the ceiling. This room used to be your father's, he insisted you take it while he stayed in the apartment next to this one. 

Putting space between you and Lizzie. 

You sighed knowing that eventually, you would have to endure the pain her presence brought you. She wasn’t what you wanted in a mother, well, you really just wanted your mother or no mother at all. 

She was long gone, a space that was vacant was easier to ignore. Your father provided you everything you needed, and if there were things a girl would only want to ask her mother, you went to Polly. Seeing your mother's place at the table filled with someone else, just made you have to realize all over again that it wasn't enough for her. 

How long would it be before Lizzie understood them? Saw the flaws and difficulties your father possessed. She would learn, she was smart enough, so there was no point in getting attached. 

If anything you were slightly grateful that it had put enough space between you and your father’s watchful eyes. Gave you a chance to take your relationship with Leo at your own pace. 

You didn’t sleep at all that night. Kept up by the conflict of your family, you suddenly realized that you had dodged all of Leo’s questions about them. 

Politics, history, mostly books - but never family. You were enjoying the separation from your last name, just a girl getting to know a boy. Nothing complicated about it, you tried to think of a way to learn more about his family without giving yours up. 

Suddenly a worry grew in your stomach, what if all this was too good to be true?

______________________________

Your thoughts haunted you, weighing heavily on your shoulders. You sat eating toast with Polly at the table. 

“I was thinking of planning an outing on Friday? All the ladies out for an evening.” Polly commented pulling you away from watching the milk swirl in your cup of tea. 

“All of the ladies including Lizzie?” You sighed, tired of the feelings wrapped in your mind. You weren't angry at anyone, not anyone but yourself. 

“I know its difficult, but you should give her a chance - We can -” 

“I can’t talk about this right now.” Tears prickled in your eyes and you quickly went out the front door. Cold air encompasses you helping you come back to reality. You would pay for walking out on Polly like that later. You decided that going for a walk was worth it. 

Your feet carried you well out of peaky territory, looking around you started to realize you’d never been around this part of the city before. You saw a cafe and went in for a coffee hoping they would have a phone you could use. You decided you’d call Esme, knowing she would be able to pick you up and give you advice.  It was a small shop, practically empty which struck you as odd. Mid-morning places like this were normally packed. Men were sitting around a round table at the back of the deli and you approached the counter. 

“Morning, A coffee please.” You placed a coin into the man's hand and he gave you a nod.

“He’s taking his time. Says she’s flighty.” One of the men spoke in a hushed voice. 

“Well, we haven't got forever eh? Need to get as much information about the Shelbys as possible. Not a lot of time left before we have to strike.” 

You realized that it was best to not ask to use the phone. 

“Well, I still don’t know what a teenage girl would know about such things anyway? All this is just a grand scheme to get the boy laid.” Another man piped up. 

“With a gypsy whore? Disgusting, don’t know why you hate your child.” A slapping sound rang out and you resisted the urge to run away. 

You took the paper cup and exited the cafe trying to look as normal as possible. Once out of view from the shop window you ran as fast, dodging cars, prams, and old ladies. You dropped your coffee into the hands of a sad-looking man sitting on a street corner. Happy the hot liquid was no longer slowing you down. 

You got in the door and slammed the door shut. Twisting the many cold locks with your fingers. You knew that you needed to move up to your room, try to hide all this away. But your lungs had already collapsed, tears streaming down your cheeks. Your sobs choked you as you realized what had happened. 

Your happy escape had been a trap the whole time. He never cared about you. How stupid could you be, people didn't like you. Let alone love you. You were complicated, needy, and too loud. Your own mother left you abandoned, how on earth did you forget that people naturally disliked you? They would stay until you slipped up too much, got too comfortable, or said too much. Just like her they would pack up and leave.

Hands found you patting over your body trying to see if you were hurt.

You didn't have enough sense to realize the person gripping your arms telling you to breathe was Lizzie. 

Her pale fingers pressed against the top of your chest, her other hand holding your arm. She pushed into your chest telling you when to breathe eventually helping you stop hyperventilating. You wanted to push her away, but your arms were heavy, her embrace to inviting to fight. 

“Whatever happened we can fix it yeah?” She looked into your eyes and you nodded like a frightened child. She guided you up the stairs to the kitchen. She pulled a blanket from the couch and tucked it around your shoulders placing a glass of whiskey in front of you. 

You were slowly coming back, aware enough to give her a suspicious look. 

“You're in shock, it will help.” She nodded at the glass and you tried to shoot it back, coughing at the way it burned. 

“Now tell me what this boy did and we can decide if it's worth telling your father” 

“How do you know it's a boy” you sniffled. 

“You only cry like that when your hearts breaking, plus you've got hickeys covering your neck.” You fought the urge to puke knowing who put them there. 

“Leo- I was at a cafe, he - god they just wanted information about dad. He -” You started crying again and Lizzie made her choice moving towards the phone. Your sobs prevented you from listening to what she’d said. Her arms found your shoulders and you were grateful for the comfort she tried to give you. 

Knowing you were undeserving of her kindness brought on a fresh wave of hot guilt. Your father tore through the house and she gave him a strange look as he approached. His composure softened slightly. 

Lizzie got up and met him in the doorway. 

“She’s just got her heart broken for the first time, be soft with her. Softer than you were with me.” She patted his shoulder before moving to another part of the house. 

Suddenly you wondered what she meant by that comment. You thought to ask about it later, everything was pushed from your mind as your father's eyes met your eyes. 

Shame swallowed you up and you tried not to cry again. His arms came around you and you leaned against him, desperate to be protected by his presence. 

“I swear I didn't know. I - tried to be careful. I never talked about any of you. I never even told him my last name. Just books and history - stuff like that.” 

“Mhmm” He listened waiting for you to get it all out. 

“Polly wanted me to spend time with Lizzie I got angry. Wasn't paying attention to where I was going. Stopped into a deli to get coffee - was going to call for a ride home.” You whispered into his shirt collar, unable to raise your voice. “There were men there, talking about how I was flighty. Gypsy Whore - how Leo had to take his time with me.” Tommy’s arms tightened around you enough to crush you. 

“I swear I didn't tell him anything.” 

“What did you give him?” His voice was dark and had a tone you didn't understand. 

“I-I” You stuttered not understanding his question. Until the realization hit you. “We- didn’t erm- didn’t give him that.” Your throat was uncomfortably tight with discomfort. Tommy let out a sigh. 

“But he put his hands on you.” you felt his fingers brush the skin of your neck and you leaned over his arm to puke onto the kitchen floor. 

“Fuck” He sighed, holding your hair back.

“Just - calm down.” He soothed at the tears returned. “I’ll handle this yeah?” 

You nodded against his chest for a moment. 

_________________

Anger pulsed through his veins as his daughter sat half curled into his arms on a kitchen bench. Neck marked up by a boy - a soon-to-be-dead boy. 

He held her as she cried resisting the pull of old memories pooling in his own stomach. Without his consent, her face made its way into the center of his mind. Grace. 

He hated that his daughter had to know this pain all on top of the constant nagging pain he knew followed her around. The pain of being born to a person who didn't want you. 

But he wanted her, more than anything in his life. Anything he could dream up the only thing he wanted was her happiness. Reason for keeping Lizzie hidden away for so long. 

“Your mother. She’d sold the family out, got the whole family locked up for a year.” He cleared his throat. “Left us for an American.” 

He watched her stiffen, raise her head to look him in the eyes, unbelieving. Seeing her hurt even more caused all his own pain to unravel as if these events were happening again in front of him. She knew Grace had left but not the extent of the damage she had created for the family.

“Doesn't matter though, because we did everything right, eh? Loved these people the best we could. They made their choices because they are troubled people.” He watched her try to grapple with the concept.

“Nothings wrong with you, they were just caught up in their own shite. In too deep to see how extraordinary you are. Pray for them, eh? The best thing in the world was in their hands and they fucked it all up.” His words hit her hard and she leaned into his chest with a different type of tears sliding down her face. 

The pain he didn't know she felt. When Grace left she was only 4 years old. He figured she’d moved on knowing that his family loved her. He remembered sleeping next to her that whole year. Listening to her cry out for her mother, Polly, and the family. How Polly refused to let her go for hours once released as if she had your cries ringing in her ears the whole time she was locked up. How you managed to keep the family around, he knew you were the reason they had forgiven him. Suddenly the issue with Lizzie took on a whole new light. 

“Can I leave you here with Lizzie while I go sort this?” 

“Erm- yeah.” 

“She cares for you.” He said and she nodded, but he could tell she wasn't sure about the situation. Expect nothing and never be disappointed. Something he would have to handle later. 

He got up placing a kiss to the top of her head and carefully avoided the puke on the floor. 

He found Lizzie sitting on the bottom step of the staircase smoking a cigarette. She looked up at him and his heart lurched at how lucky he was to have the two of them. 

“Please stay with her. If anything happens to her -” 

“I can handle it, Tommy.” She said quickly. He handed her a gun from his coat pocket. 

“I’ll send Polly and the girls' ‘round. Going to go get the boys gathered up.” 

“Be careful.” 

“Always am.” He leaned down and gave her a kiss. Wishing more than anything he had more time to talk to the two of them. Clear up whatever mess Grace had hanging over his daughter's head. 

He stepped out the front door and let the pure hatred and rage finally radiate through him. 

_______________

Lizzie came up as you tried to clean up the mess you’d made on the floor. She helped you and made you some toast, insisting it would help your stomach settle. 

You sat across from her and finally started to ask the questions that had been nagging at you. 

“What are your intentions with my dad?” You asked as seriously as you could with your face swollen and a thick voice raw from crying. 

“That’s a good question.” You watched her think on it for a few moments. “I’ve known him a long time. Fell for him once when we were younger. I suppose - ” 

“He broke your heart.” 

“A few times.” 

“Why do you come back to him then?” 

“The bastard always finds a way of making things alright again.” Her eyes turned apologetic when she realized what she’d said. 

“You want to stay with him?” 

“He’s your dad before he’ll be my anything.” She said seriously.

“I’ve got a temper. I don't handle things easily.” She gave you a questioning look. “My room gets messy and I won’t let the maids clean it. I didn't like the roast you made.” 

“No roast, I’ll keep that in mind.” 

“I understand if these are deal breakers. It’s not an easy house to live in.” You looked at her to observe her reaction. 

“There’s nothing wrong with you. Things like that aren't enough to send me away.” She said softly. 

“I like you a lot, but if you leave.” You shook your head trying to prevent more tears from spilling. 

“Not going to leave, unless you want me gone.” She reached across the table and squeezed your hand. Just then you heard the front door open and Lizzie moved to the entry of the kitchen with a gun in hand. You realized then that she was properly invested in you. Enough to potentially shoot someone to keep you safe. 

Polly made an appearance and Lizzie let out a long breath of relief. She didn't waste time saying anything, just pushed past her to tackle you into an embrace. Her tears made her chest heave. 

“I'm okay.” You choked about before crying again. 

Ada started on dinner while Esme poured herself a glass of whiskey. Looking at you with frightened eyes. 

“God I almost had a heart attack. Made it sound like the boy had beaten you.” She shot back the liquid and Polly made a cross-motion over her chest. 

“Well, before it all went tits up, was he any good?” Esme asked you causing Ada to throw a stale dinner roll at her head in outrage. 

“Girls just got her heart broken, almost died and you're concerned with the quality of lovemaking!” Ada swore at her but Esme only laughed. 

“What! Look at her!” She gestured to you throwing the bun back at Ada. “First of many my darling don’t get hung up on it.” 

“God that’s the truth,” Polly said running a hand through your tangled hair. 

“New rule you want to date someone he needs to meet us, yeah?” You nodded knowing that was the best option. 

“But don’t worry, we won’t tell your da till your ready. Want her to get some action before she’d married off.” 

“Esme! Jesus! No one's marrying her off.” Ada stressed.

“Oi, honest assumption. You lot had me married off.” 

“Do you regret it?” 

“Being subjected to your attitude problem and the never-ending nonsense the rest of you cook up?” She laughed and grabbed your hand. “Never.” 

 “This is nice being all together,” Lizzie said placing a bottle of wine on the table. 

You looked at Lizzie and gave her a smile. They let you stay up with them, drinking wine and hearing all the tales of lost love and betrayal that they had experienced. Eventually, everyone was tired, and you were certainly starting to feel the sleepless nights creeping in on you. 

“Let’s get you to bed,” Lizzie told you and they all laughed as you struggled to stand up. You and Lizzie walked next door and she watched you flop down on their bed. The necklace thumped against your chest and you realized you’d forgotten to take it off. 

You sat up, head spinning trying to undo the necklace. Lizzie quickly helped you, then untied your shoes, and you laid next to her. Giggling about various stories, you attempted to explain exactly how much it meant to love someone the size of the moon. Your hand not leaving her stomach. 

“Lizzie?” Your father's voice rang out and the sound of the front door closed. 

“Just pretend to be asleep.” She whispered as she got up and went out to the living room, shutting the door behind her. 

“Are you alright?” You heard her ask softly. 

“Everything sorted. Boys all came home.” His voice was cold and it contrasted harshly against the warm tone of the late evening. “How is she.?” 

“Don’t be mad -” Lizzie started. 

“What the fuck-” 

“She had a bit to drink - Not her fault, she was just enjoying all of us and  Polly was there and Esme kept pouring her glasses. Said she was trying to get her started enough to fall asleep without remembering what happened. I didn’t think it was my place-” She rambled on but you heard your father chuckle. “Really don’t be mad with her, it’s my fault.” 

“Tonight is an exception. After that, it's as much your place as anyone. Don’t want her to drink like I used to.” You heard him let out a loud sigh. 

“She’s very smart.” Lizzie mused. “Just spent the last 45 minutes next to me trying to explain the solar system and the moon’s relevance in something or other. What it actually means to love someone the size of the moon.” 

“She’s the best of us. Can’t believe - fuck.” 

“Hey, she promised. The next boy has to meet us before taking her out.” 

“No, no more boys ever again. Not enough security checks in the world.” You heard the strain in his voice and hated the pain you had caused him. You slipped out of the bedroom, against Lizzies warning look to sit on the floor next to his leg. Resting your head against his knee. His hand found its way to the top of your head. 

“No drinking and no boys.” He said absently looking at the ceiling. 

“Well, what about men then?” You said cheekily the wine removing all common sense. His face twisted up and Lizzie let out a loud laugh. “I’m joking! Joking!” You felt him relax next to you. 

You used to sit like this when you were little, no living room was ever big enough for all your family. You never had a problem with the floor. Lizzie sat tucked into his side and you enjoyed her presence. Someone to laugh at your cheekiness. You thought of her attempts to keep you safe, from a potential intruder and from your father’s anger. 

“Lizzie. Have you-?” you mumbled, happiness swelling in your chest.

“Uh-” She responded awkwardly falling under your father’s gaze. You suddenly realized that this may not have been what she’d wanted. You tried to think of something to save her. 

“Polly’s -hmm - erm - We’re going to have a baby.” She fumbled but looked at him in a way that you hoped you’d experience with another person one day. His hand ran across her stomach.

“Going to name her Ruby -” You let out a yawn. Self-aware enough to let them have a moment. You got up on shaky legs, enjoying the way your mind swayed. How easily words could fall from your lips. 

“Love all three of you.” You kissed their cheeks before making your way to the second bedroom. 

You thought about thinking of all the twists and turns of the day, of your whole life, but decided to just enjoy the warmth in your bones and the relaxed state of your body. 

_____________________________________

“BREAKFAST IS READY!” John’s voice rang out and it felt like a gunshot tearing through your brain. 

“John! She’s been through enough!” Esme scolded. Suddenly the night's events caught up with you. Everything with Leo, how everyone tried to cheer you up, Polly realizing Lizzie was pregnant. You pinched the bridge of your nose. 

Esme opened the door and let out a soft laugh. She helped get you out the door, stepping onto the street she handed you her sunglasses. You looked around sight landing on an unexpected face. 

“Hey! Wait I just want to -” He backed off with his hands up and you realized that Esme had pulled a dagger from… somewhere? 

“Look, just stay away? Alright.” You said reasonably, keeping as much dignity as you could. 

“I didn’t want to - alright they made me - and God I really like you. Please just.” 

“If you’d really liked me you would have gone to my father. Tried to protect me, and yourself.” You said calmly wondering how you were managing to make it up as you went along. “Your family tried to kill mine. I don't think it’s an issue we can work on.” 

You watched his world crumble and fall apart. You knew that it wouldn't last that long, things would pass. 

“Good luck.” You said to him before walking with Esme close to your side. You made it in the door. It wasn't hard to push down the tears watching your family start to tease you over the hangover you had. You sat next to Lizzie placing your head on her shoulder. 

Polly soon appeared with a bowl of oatmeal and a cup of tea. You looked at the feast laid out on the table and were eternally grateful for something easy to eat. 

“Back at the start here, I want to thank all of you for all your hard work, every step of the way. Look at where we are now.” Your father paused for a moment. “Lizzie’s expecting.” There was a mess of hollering, and you realized that wasn't the only bit of news. A ring was on her finger. “Planning a wedding in the spring.”

You weren't ready for excitement so you just kept hold of her arm, hoping it was enough. 

________________________________

Her and Lizzie bonded over the wedding planning. You realized how much she cared about your opinions. Letting you read to the baby in her stomach before bed each night. 

Tommy kept a closer eye on her, asking her about her school friends. Forever afraid of the conversations they would have to have before the next boy came along. 

He was grateful for the family around her. He wasn't hurt by the ever-growing list of inside jokes and constant laughter that filled his house. His girls got along, and you had a mum that wanted to give you the world. 

Ruby was born and it was three against one, but he didn't mind all that much. Lots of pink, lots of crying and feelings. More love than he could have imagined. The way they all wanted to sit with him. Listening to you go on about your school drama while Ruby was content resting on his shoulder. Lizzie was next to him offering wisdom he didn't understand. 

No matter how late he came home, Lizzie would wake up insisting on taking some attention for herself. 

Eventually, the time came. A boy entered her world again. It was painful to watch her have to learn how to trust. Endless fights and attempts to push him away made Tommy’s head spin. But he had to give it to the kid. He never let her go to bed upset. Calling on the phone for hours trying to make it right. Sneaking in through her balcony door like he wouldn’t notice. Listening to the boy reason with her, and how much he cared. Tommy made a point of not publicly liking him. Wanted to make it hard on the kid, make sure he knew he would have to work hard his whole life. Ensure his daughter was treated well. 

She was because he was a good guy? Or because he knew that Esme told him that they would collectively dismember him under a full moon, saying she’d cast a spell that would cause his skin to peel off if he ever endangered her, he wasn't sure. But he didn't care. 

#tommy shelby #Thomas Shelby #Lizzie stark #Lizzie shelby #Shelby family x reader #Tommy shelby & daughter #peaky blinders oneshot #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders request #peaky blinders #tommy shelby imagine

[orcasoul]

Reckless

Summery: Joel and reader are paired up as patrol partners. Both have suppressed feelings for each other. He's frustrated with her sometimes impulsive actions and she's fed up of his coldness towards her. After an almost fatal encounter during a supply search they both admit their feelings for one another.

Warning's: Swearing, angst, infected attack, age gap (reader is in her late 30's and Joel is in his late 50's), Use of Y/N.

"Stay close and don't do anything reckless!" Joel turned to you and gave you a look that left no room for arguments. You rolled your eyes and in a mocking voice replied "Yes sir," with a salute. Joel rolled his eyes in return before turning away. You can't help the smirk growing across your face, knowing how much it bugs him when you do that. But you can understand why he felt the need to say it. You wouldn't admit he was right when he accused you of acting before thinking sometimes, but there are times when risks are worth taking and you'd never willingly put yourself in a risky situation if you weren't confident you could handle it. You and Joel have been patrol partners for two months now, since you happened to stumble across Jackson on your way to..... nowhere, really. You were just existing at that point and so close to giving up until you were fortunate enough to cross paths with one of Jackson's patrol groups, and were welcomed into the community. They'd given you a purpose again so you took your patrols very seriously, wanting to do all you could to serve your community and prove yourself as a valuable member of Jackson.

At first your patrols with Joel were a little awkward. The man hardly spoke, unless it was to give you orders, or to voice his displeasure of being "stuck with a kid" on patrol. Kid! I guess to a grumpy 56 year old dinosaur a 37 year old is a kid, you once scoffed mentally. "I'm not here to babysit. I'm here to show you the ropes so you can do your part efficiently, got it?" Joel gruffed at you from his horse on your first patrol. "Good thing I don't need a babysitter then," you snapped back, glaring at him. Joel huffed and rolled his eyes. "Look you'd better be able to handle yourself out here because you're not my problem and I'm not gonna make you my problem, Okay?" "Jesus Christ" You muttered to yourself. You now spoke louder so he could hear you. "If I couldn't handle myself I'd have been dead a long time ago. I don't need a protector and you and I know damn well I wouldn't be assigned to patrol if the council didn't deem me capable. So how about we just get on with the task at hand, eh?"

Joel turned back around on his horse, letting out an annoyed mumble. The truth was he'd already made you his "problem" and he didn't like it one bit! He'd caught the odd glimpses of you when you'd first arrived at Jackson and was immediately struck, not only by how beautiful you are but also by the look of disbelief written across your face. A feeling he knew all too well. Shock and awe, that a place like this could exist. A piece of heaven in a hellish world, he'd once described it, and if this was heaven then you must be an angel. After a few brief chats with you (well actually Tommy and Maria did most of the talking while he mostly just sat and listened to how sweet and genuine you came across) he knew then that you were different to other women he had known. There was just something about you. It was ridiculous! He hadn't felt this way about a woman in over twenty years, and he sure as hell wasn't going to start acting like a love-struck teenager at 56. So he decided it was best to push down any feelings he had developing and keep you at arms length.

And that's what he did. He barely spoke to you and quickly shut down any conversation you tried to strike up with him. After a few weeks he'd noticed you'd stopped trying. A part of him felt that maybe he was being too harsh and probably came across as an asshole but he couldn't allow himself to get too close to you. The more people you care for, the more you have to lose, besides it's not like someone as sweet and beautiful as her would be interested in a middle aged grump, he'd keep reminding himself when he felt like letting you in. So he did what he does best; He built a wall and hid behind it. At first Joel's stand-offish attitude irked you but you thought if you were going to be partners you'd at least try to get him to loosen up. Maybe he just needs me to take the first step and initiate the conversations, you mused. But after a few weeks of trying and being met with short answers and gruffs you realised you weren't going to get anywhere with him, so you just accepted the silence that mostly accompanied your patrols.

You tried to convince yourself that it didn't bother you but truthfully it did. And you knew why, even if you refused to think about the reason too much, trying to distract yourself whenever your thoughts went "there". You were attracted to him, had been since you met him. Even though he didn't speak much, something in his eyes and the way he looked at you ignited a desire and a need for this quiet, but extremely handsome man. You wondered if he was like this with everyone. He had a good twenty years on you so maybe he'd just seen a lot more horrors than you. Horrors that have no doubt moulded him into this brooding entity of a man. He also seemed to have had a lot more encounters with infected than you have, if the rumours were anything to go by, and they were probably true otherwise he wouldn't be alive now. So giving his experience you decided to mostly follow his orders while on patrol. Better safe than sorry, eh?

Today's patrol was going to be somewhat different than the usual checking and resetting of traps and scanning the area for trouble. You'd both been sent out to a small town about four miles to the east of Jackson, to a veterinary surgery to pick up some medical equipment that had been hidden away by the last patrol group, their bags being to full to take them at the time. You loved Jackson's animal's and since veterinary equipment and supplies were always in short supply this was like hitting the jackpot! Upon arriving you both dismount your horses and tie them up in an overgrown wooded area not far behind the building. Joel quickly sneaked around the building as you followed suit, guns at the ready for any kind of trouble. Peering in through the once glass glass entrance doors it appears the building is empty. "Let's go," you say with confidence as you begin to walk through the door frame, only to be roughly pulled back by Joel's calloused hand on your upper arm.

"What the fuck you doing, Joel?" you scold him as you rip your arm out of his grasp. "What the fuck are you doing?" He shot back angrily. "Just because it's quiet here it doesn't mean there's no infected further inside the building. I'm going first." As he brushes passed you, you can smell hints of sandlewood, earth and something.... Joel like. Damn it, does he have to smell so good? You shake your head to try and rid yourself of the intrusive thought. You hated that whenever he got too close you felt a rush of heat to your core and your heart would beat faster. Sure, you'd known from the moment you'd met him that he's the most handsome man you've ever seen, but you never imagined in a million years he'd be interested in someone so much younger than himself. Not when there were plenty of women his age in Jackson literally fawning all over him every Friday night at the Tipsy Bison.

So for the most part you'd just try to ignore your feelings and focus on your patrol duties with him. Even though sometimes you got the feeling he saw you as a hindrance, sometimes you felt like he hated you, you weren't about to let that get in the way of doing your job. And today is no different. You follow Joel quietly into the surgery, your senses on high alert, looking in every direction. As you pass the front desk you notice leaflets about pet insurance with the most adorable cat and dogs pictures on them, covered in 20 years of dust and mould. You smile sadly, imagining what this place would have been like in it's heyday and how you would have loved to work in a place like this. Focus, you idiot!" you mentally scold yourself, snapping your attention back to the present moment. You follow Joel down the darkened corridor of the building, the only light coming through the windows of rooms with open doors, just enough to see clearly.

Both of your heads scan from left to right as you make your way past the doors, some open, some closed. You'd both been instructed to go to the operating theatre at the back, push the grey cabinet from the wall and you'd find the supplies hidden in a hole behind it. You both approach the theatre slowly and silently. Once you were sure you were alone you closed the door and shrugged off your backpack, dropping it to the floor, as did Joel. "I got this," you say to Joel before he can walk over to the cabinet. As you pushed the cabinet the high pitched sound of metal scraping across the floor made you clench your teeth. To you it was like nails on a chalk board! But that sound was nothing compared to the sound that came next and it made your blood freeze. "SCREECH!" "SCREECH!" "SCREECH!", all at the same time. BANG! BANG! BANG! Both of your heads snap to the rattling door, then back to each other.

"Shit!" Joel cursed. "Hurry, fill the bags and hide." Looking around the large theatre it's evident that there aren't many things to hide behind, just some operating tables and crates. You only manage to fill the bags half full before the door bursts open, slamming against the wall. Joel grabbed your hand and pulled you behind an operating table with him, communicating with his eyes that everything will be okay. He brings a finger to his lips, silently telling you to be quiet. You hadn't realised just how hard you'd been breathing, as your rapid heartbeat had filled your ears with the sound of rushing blood. You take slow, quiet breaths, desperately trying to calm your nerves. You both pull your knives out. Guns are loud and clickers are abnormally fast. If there were only two of them you could take one each, but it's just your luck that there are three of the fuckers, making it too risky to fire your guns. Joel throws his head over his shoulder, gesturing for you to follow, the both of you taking agonisingly slow, crouched steps around the table.

After a series of deafening screeches and clicks, the three clickers began to clumsily stagger around the room, scanning for whatever had caused the noise. As you follow Joel across the room you suddenly realise the backpacks have been left behind. You gently pull on Joel's arm to get his attention and point to the backpacks. Joel looks to where you are pointing but he shakes his head 'no'. The supplies are important, yes, but all that matters to him in this moment is getting you to safety. He can see the silent protest in your eyes and he knows just how stubborn and impulsive you can be. Before you can begin to crawl back to the bags Joel roughly grabs your wrist, pulling you closer "Leave them," his words are barely a whisper. Frustration bubbles within you, leading to anger. You hate having to leave such valuable and needed equipment behind just because these rotting bastards chose now of all times to turn up!

They must have turned up not long after you and Joel entered the building because the previous patrol would have put them down or at least warned you two before hand. Great fucking timing! You think to yourself, sarcastically. You roll your eyes and reluctantly nod, following Joel's lead. He seems so confident in this moment that you wonder how many times he's had to do this in the past, and for the first time since your patrols began you're grateful to have him with you. As you cautiously sneak behind Joel across the room you can't help but notice how broad his shoulders are and you find your gaze heading lower to his ass, his thick thighs, the sliver of skin between his jeans and jacket, now visible because he's crouching..... now's not the time, you quietly chastise yourself.

It's becoming more difficult to navigate the room with these fuckers aimlessly wandering around, and every click and shrill screech makes you freeze for a few moments. Joel seems to sense your unease and he gentle reaches back to take your hand in his. This is the gentlest he's ever touched you, and the sensation of his warm, big hand engulfing yours has your heart racing and butterflies flitting in your tummy. The concern and care he's showing you now is a stark contrast to the usual treatment he gives you.

Joel's heart is in his throat! The door is so close, yet so far. Gripping your shaking hand he slowly leads the way to the open door. As you both approach it he stops and pulls you in front of him to go first, then turning, he grabs the door, slowly moving it so it doesn't make a sound and pulls it ajar. He stand up, shaking out his aching legs one after the other. He turns to you as you stand, brings his hand up to cup your cheek, and whispers "you okay?" You can feel your cheeks heating up at his touch, his intense gaze boring right into the depths of you. Nervously you nod, trying to calm your breaths. It's not the infected that has you breathing heavily this time. Joel's hand slips from your cheek, down your arm and into your hand, linking his fingers through yours. Quietly you both make your way to the entrance doors, the sounds of clicking becoming more distant.

Once outside Joel breathes a sigh of relief while sheathing his knife. This could have ended badly, so badly. Weather you like it or not he has taken on the responsibility to always keep you safe and he would never have forgiven himself if he'd let you get infected or killed. He's pulled from his pensive state when you stop suddenly, releasing his hand. He hates the emptiness he feels in his palm, now that your soft warm touch has abandoned him. "Joel," you mutter as he turns to look at you in confusion. "We can't just leave everything behind. We can't go home empty handed," "Forget it," Joel replied with finality. "We're not going back. I barely got you out of there in one piece." It wasn't lost on you that he'd said you instead of us and it brought a warmth to your heart to know he cared about your safety somewhat. "We wouldn't have stood a chance in there but I'm sure we could handle them from out here. We just have to lure th-" "no!" he cut you off sharply. If he'd been with any other partner they would have dispatched those clickers quickly but he's not going to risk your life.

You huff and narrow your eyes at him. "So what? We just leave them behind because of a few... obstacles? They're too important. we need them." Joel shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Look, I'll come back with some of the others in a few days. We'll get rid of the infected and grab the supplies," " But they're all over the floor in clear sight. What if raiders come back through here and take them before you can return?" you ask with your hands on your hips and irritation in your voice. "Well then.... they take them," Joel snorted. "Let's get to the horses," he orderd before walking away from you. Sighing, you reluctantly follow, but not before throwing a glance over your shoulder and silently cursing those damned infected for ruining this golden opportunity. Golden opportunity, you thought. Yeah, this is a golden opportunity and how many of them do we get these days? After a few more moments of deliberation you decided it's worth the risk. "Fuck it," you muttered to yourself, slowing your pace behind Joel. He was already quite a way in front of you but you wanted a bit more distance between you two so he wouldn't notice you walking back.

When enough time had passed you slowly turn and make your way back to the surgery. Part of you feels foolish for doing this but damn it, Jackson needs these supplies and you're not going to fail them. You understand it's risky to take on clickers, especially alone but now you have the upper hand. You quickly form a plan as you near the building, grabbing a brick off the ground to use as a distraction. As you cautiously re-enter the surgery you draw your pistol, taking the safety off. Creeping stealthily down the dark corridor, the clicking becomes louder, making you tremble and your adrenaline spike. You silently open the door on your left, doing a quick check to make sure it's empty. A brick to the window will make for a pretty good distraction. Leaving the door wide open you slink to the theatre door, opening it as quietly as you can while trying to keep your breathing calm. The clickers are now almost motionless, swaying like jellyfish in the ocean, with no purpose or goal. You carefully retreat backwards, placing every step as delicately as you can to avoid making any noise, until you are in front of the other door. With your gun ready in one hand you lift the other hand holding the brick, take a deep breath, pray to any god that might be listening, and throw!

Joel knew it didn't make sense to leave the supplies behind and you were probably right to say you could both handle them now that you're outside, having space as an advantage, but in the two months you've been patrolling together you've never come as close to death as you did today and he won't lose another person he cares for, not now, not ever! The more he thought about it, the more he realised that pushing you away doesn't change how he feels about you. He hoped these feelings would fade away over time but if anything, he cares for you now more than ever and today has proven to him just how much you mean to him. Shit, he inwardly groaned while shaking his head. What the hell do i do about this? After a few more moments lost in his thoughts it dawned on him that he can't hear your footsteps behind him anymore.

Spinning on his heel his eyes frantically search the surrounding area for you but you're nowhere to be seen. His heart feels like it's about to bust through his rib cage as fear grips him with an unrelenting force. Before he can call your name the sounds of smashing glass and inhuman screams fill the once silent air. "Y/N!!" Joel screams your name so loudly his throat feels like it's on fire and he makes a desperate sprint for the surgery. A series of shots ring out as he nears the building. Now matter how fast he's running, it feels like he can't get to you fast enough, all the while imagining the worst. Charging through the foyer he hears clicker screeches mixed with your own screams. The sound of your screams absorb deep into his being, fuelling the same fury he felt when he learned what the fireflies were planning to do with Ellie. He rounded the corner of the front desk to the corridor and the world slowed down when he took in the sight of you pinned under a clicker, desperately pushing at it's neck to keep it's face from yours with one hand, and wildly flinging your other arm above your head in a blind search for your knife that is just out of reach.

All rational and deliberate thought abandoned Joel's mind and a primal need to protect possessed him. He lunged toward the clicker, knife drawn, and plunged it deep into it's decaying skull. The horrid, clawing monster became limp and silent before being lifted and thrown aside like a rag doll. In it's place was Joel, bloody knife pointing downwards, heaving deep breaths and looking at you with a mixture of anger and terror. You've never seen such raw emotion etched onto his face before and you were sure you were in for it now. "Joel," you rasped, relief mixed with trepidation. Still trembling from the encounter, you slowly sit up while staring at Joel wide eyed. You braced yourself for the angry admonishment you knew you deserved, but to your surprise Joel dropped to his knees in front of you, his knife clanging as it hit the tiled floor. "Are you hurt?! Are you bit?!, Are you okay?!" The words came tumbling from his lips a hundred miles an hour as his hands wondered from your face to your neck, to your shoulders, to your arms, to your legs and finally your torso.

You can only stare at him in bewilderment, noticing the tears glossing over his eyes and how his entire body is shaking. You place your palms over his trembling hands to try and calm him. "I'm okay Joel, really," you reassure him in a gentle tone. He looks down at your hands placed on his and realises he's holding tightly onto your waist. Embarrassed, he swiftly drops his hands, clears his throat and stands up. He offers his hand to pull you up, which you gingerly accept. You stand, looking up into his dark eyes that now seem to want to tell you... something. No words are spoken for what feels like forever. You break the silence first. "Guess we can get our backpacks now," you whisper nervously, your arms and legs still shaking from the adrenaline that hasn't quite left your system. Joel stands as still as a statue, his face now emotionless and it was unnerving to say the least. You're used to him being grumpy and irritable, you're used to seeing him confident and meticulous, but this was something else, and you don't know how to even speak to him right now. It's almost as if he's not even there, as if he's in a trance!

You swallow the lump in your throat as you head towards the theatre, glancing at the bodies of the other two clickers you managed to shoot in the next room. After filling the backpacks with all of the medical equipment, you rise to find Joel standing in the doorway, still staring but now he looks furious. "Um... here you go," you murmured as you walked over to him and held out his backpack. Joel snatched it from your grasp, causing you to flinch slightly, and stormed outside. "Shit," you mutter under your breath and follow him outside with your head hanging low in shame. The walk to the horses was unbearably quiet, the air thick with tension and unspoken words. You know you had just fucked up, big time! He'll probably never patrol with you again after this.

At least one good thing has come of this. You have the supplies, so maybe it wasn't all bad. "Hey, Joel?" you utter his name shyly as you reach the horses saddles. Joel stops, slightly turns his head to the side, huffs and mounts his horse. Blinking back tears you mount your horse and gently kick it's sides to make it move, making sure to keep a few paces behind Joel's horse. The silence is deafening. With nothing else to occupy your mind it replays that almost fatal encounter over and over again. If Joel hadn't have got there when he did you'd be dead now, that's for certain. You had been so sure you could handle them yourself, but once again Joel was proven right; You don't think before you act, and this time you almost paid the ultimate price. But the worst part for you was that you'd put Joel in danger. If he had died because of your actions you'd never be able to live with yourself. Guilt begins to gnaw at you, an oppressive and gut wrenching sensation that just grows stronger the more you think about it.

You could have gotten him killed and now you're responsible for this strange.... episode he's having. Unable to suffer the crippling guilt and uneasy silence any longer, you sidle up beside Joel. He's still looking dead ahead, unwilling to acknowledge your presence. "Hey," you clear your throat, awkwardly. "Thanks for saving me back there." Joel just tensed his jaw and nodded ever so slightly. "I'm sorry about what happened. Can we talk for a minute?-" "No," Joel snapped. "Joel," you say quietly. "I said no." Joel kicked his horse to make it move faster. You glare at him and sigh in frustration at his stubbornness. For god's sake, I'm trying to apologise and he's being a dick, you bitterly think. You pull on the reigns, bringing your horse to a sudden stop and dismount. Joel quickly stops his horse and turns to face you. "What the hell are you doing?" he asked in exasperation. "I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me," you reply with your arms crossed over your chest, chin held high.

"We're not doing this now. Get back on the horse Y/N." "Not until you talk to me!" you yell at him, frustration seeping through your words. Joel could feel his anger flare and before he could think, he jumped off his horse and stormed over to where you stood defiantly. "You wanna talk? Fine. What the fuck where you doing, going back in there by yourself?!" He roared. "You got a fucking death wish, or something?!" His hands are balled into fists at his sides, chest heaving with angry breaths and his face turning red. You've never seen him this angry before. It was confusing that he'd show this level of care over your well being when most of the time you could swear he hated you. "I'm sorry," you sigh. "I didn't think it through-" "No, you didn't, as usual!" Joel retorted. Okay you'll give him that one. "I just didn't want to fail the community. These supplies are important-" "More important than your life?" Joel asked, his words laced with frustration. "Well... maybe... yeah," you spoke quietly.

Joel blinked and snapped his head back in stunned silence at your words. He didn't expect you to ever say that. "What do you mean 'yeah'?" he cried in disbelief. "The animals are vital to Jackson. Everyone depends on them for food, clothing, transport. So maybe it was worth risking my life. At the time it seemed like the right thing to do. I just hate myself for putting you in danger. I'm really sorry Joel." Your voice trembled slightly on the last few words. Joel couldn't believe what he was hearing! "I don't care about me, I'm furious with you for putting yourself in danger. What if I had been a few seconds later? You be fucking dead now!" "I know," you looked down at your feet, feeling like a child who'd broken their parents' favourite ornament after being told to leave it alone. "I just can't believe how god damn stupid you are!" Your head snapped up like a pissed off cobra as he spat those words out at you. Here you are apologising and he goes and calls you stupid, oh hell no! Your cheeks burn in anger as the blood in your veins begins to boil. "Excuse me?! I've just apologised and accepted all your criticisms, but don't you dare call me stupid!" Now it's your turn to curl your fists.

"What else am I supposed to think when you do shit like that? You almost died!" Your guilt is now being burned away by anger, filling you with a need to defend yourself. "What do you care if I died anyway?" You throw your hands up in indignation. "Yeah I made the wrong decision, but it was mine to make. Don't pretend that you care all of a sudden. Most of the time you fucking hate me!" Joel's eyes widen at your accusation. "Y...You think I hate you?" He asks, taken aback. "Well....yeah," you reply as though it should have been obvious. "I mean in two months you've only ever spoken to me to order me about. You won't even speak to me when I pass you in town. So what am I supposed to think?" "I don't hate you!" Joel can barely contain his vexation at this point. "Christ do you realise what it would do to me if I lost you?" He stopped suddenly, realising what he had just let slip. He could see the astonishment on your face and knowing there's no turning back now, he continued, his voice calm but hesitant, "I don't hate you. I hate how I feel about you."

His confession was the last thing you had expected. After a few moments you collected yourself and walked closer to Joel so that you were looking up into his eyes. "And what do you feel?" you asked softly, while searching his rich brown eyes. The want and longing he feels for you is now abundantly evident in his gaze but he's unsure of what to do next. He was determined to keep his distance, so if he ever lost you it wouldn't hurt as much. But distant or not he almost did lose you and it was excruciating! He realised now he'd wasted enough time trying to push you away and he doesn't want to do that anymore, especially not now with the way you are looking at him. You delicately bring your hands to his chest and repeat the question. "Joel, what do you fe-" before you can finish his lips crash onto yours, his hands grabbing your waist to pull you against his body.

You return the kiss eagerly, wrapping your arms around his back, opening your mouth to allow his tongue to caress yours. His hands tenderly wander up your back, one staying there while the other gently cups your cheek. After several more seconds he pulls away from your lips, guiding your head to the crook of his neck. "Fuck Y/N, I can't lose you, not you," he breathes the words into your ear. You smile deliriously into his neck, hoping this isn't a dream. You dreamed about having him for so long, but never once thought it would ever happen. "So you don't hate me, then?" You grin as you look up at him and rub your nose against his. Joel looks into your eyes adoringly and chuckles, "Of course not." "Then why have you been acting so cold towards me?" you enquire with genuine confusion. "I just didn't want to feel... anything for you. I was afraid to." You've never heard Joel speak with such vulnerability and it made your heart swell for him. "I've lost too many people and I thought pushing you away was for the best. But I can see now that it's the stupidest thing I've ever done. And I never even thought you would feel the same way about me. God, I can't believe how much time I've wasted when I should have just been honest with you."

The sincerity of his words has your head swimming and you kiss him again, hungrily. The tickly feel of his beard, his strong arms wrapping around you, the warmth of him as you press against his chest has you yearning for more of him. "I really like you Joel," you pant as you pull away. "I really like you too, darling," Joel replied just as breathless as you. His southern drawl on the word darling made your knees feel weak! "So let's not waste any more time. Meet me for a drink at the Tipsy Bison later? "Definitely," he answers while placing a quick peck on your nose. "I'm sorry for calling you stupid. You're not. I shouldn't have said that, I was just afraid." "It's okay." you reassure him. "And I promise, I won't take risks like that anymore." "Good, cause next time I'll kill you myself." Joel teases. You roll your eyes playfully and salute, "yes sir." Joel shakes his head and laughs under his breath, causing a giggle to leave you and he knows now he'll be enjoying the sound of your laughter for a long time to come. You both return to your horses and mount to begin the journey back home side by side. This time the silence is comfortable and cozy, filled with soft glances and gentle smiles.

#pedro pascal #joel miller imagine #joel miller fic

[abouttofillhisshoes]

💄💋 for mpind matty !!! (also hi big love i hope ur doing well <33)

Hiii jaye my baby, i know for a fact u should probs be sleeping its like three in the morning over there..

(lipstick) What does your character think of their face? Do they wear makeup/have a skincare routine?

he's a confident person overall, so his face just fuels that ever growing ego of his. Matty is a bit insecure about his teeth, but you assure him it adds to his appearance rather than take away, a sense of relief washing over him as you gaze lovingly, taking in every feature. He does wear makeup!! Loves to match the colors to whatever you're putting on and giggling as you try and snatch the palette back from him, holding it just out of reach. His makeup is stuff you've bought him or gifted to him, so when you do finally go shopping for his own products, he goes absolutely mental, trying it all the testers and samples like he'd never seen lipstick in his life. You eventually walk out, having spent an absurd about of money on massive palettes filled with all sorts of different colors and glittery shades, Matty so giddy to try them out he can barely contain himself Skincare was never a big thing for matty, his acne basically disappearing once he hit 17, his clear skin the stuff of models. He watches you put all these creams and serums on your face and doesn't understand why, even if you explain it to him a million times.

(kiss) Is your character a good kisser? Have they kissed anyone before? What was their first kiss like compared to their last?

okay okay theres a bunch of info on this so here goes nothing: mpind matty's first kiss was a girl in his year 8 history lesson. She basically just asked if he would kiss her and he did, behind the bus stop after school. It was weird and uncomfortable, he recalls to you on a particularly quiet night on your sitting room sofa, chuckling as he speaks. Matty is a skilled kisser, but not in the way you would think. he likes to build up, touching different parts of your body to get you excited, wanting, before finally pressing his lips to yours. Like a sort of game of who-caves-first. His role is always driven by the way you react to him. You're particularly harsh and aggressive? He gives in and lets you push him against a wall, feeling you up, groping everywhere he can reach, desperate to feel you. You take to fisting his hair as your teeth clash, both your lipsticks smudging obscenely. You're a bit calmer? He takes over, grabbing you by the hips and pressing you flush to his body, letting you feel every inch of him against your thigh. Drinking in the soft gasps you let out like they'd save him if he got enough, hot skin against skin as the world blurs around you.

#lena speaks #mpind matty #matty healy #matty healy fanfiction

[yansimstorythatiwillnotworkon]

Taro Yamada

I think there's a lot wrong with Taro, starting with him as a character. He is entirely bland. He looks bland, acts bland, and his character is all over the place.

For instance- if he sees a body, he will run away, not even bothering to bring Osana with him, despite his love interests doing that for him. Additionally, nothing about him says that he would bother running up to an armed, masked killer and rip the mask off. Not only would I doubt that Taro would do that as a person, but I believe that any lonely coward would simply run away.

One thing that I'd like to do to make his character more interesting is to give him a goal, a hobby, or a particular liking. This in my story will be books. Or, more precisely, the stories he hears in books. Growing up reading them, he has an attachment to them and strives (internally) to become someone great someday.

Of course, he's since grown out of super hero's, but his mind is still impressionable enough to be convinced to do something unique and meaningful with his life. That's why I think that each rival should push him towards doing something with his life. Additionally, him being so open to exploring could explain why he would be so willing to get with anyone who confesses to him (so long as he's known them for more than a day).

I won't put all of my ideas right here, but they'll be underneath the cut instead.

With Osana, I feel like he always internally felt held back by her attitude. By no means does he think that she's a bad person, but part of him always felt obligated to listen to her constant bullying. This kept him from trying a lot of things as a child, and although he's grown out of such anxieties now, properly talking with her about how she acted after she confesses could help motivate him to try the things he never did as a child alongside Osana.

The club leaders (Amai, Kizana, Oka and Asu) would push him to follow their careers. I imagine that baking could be a simple but fulfilling career for him, acting could let out his inner child's wishes to act out what he can't actually be in real life. I'm not entirely sure what he would do in an Occult Club of all things, but I'm sure it could feed into his habit of reading. Maybe he could become some sort of theorist? With Asu, I'm sure getting in shape could help him be more confident whenever he tries to be heroic.

If I could trust Mida to pick a less flirtatious and illegal relationship with Taro, I'd say she could motivate him to become a teacher like her.

The medical field pays well and you have the potential to help many people. Not only could Muja help Taro learn this, but he would also love to have such a well-off job.

I'm sure Hanako's clinginess and paranoia kept Taro from doing many things - much like Osana, but maybe with her help, he could become a splendid family man? Maybe he'd work well with children. (Don't worry, I by no means want Hanako to be Clingy to "keep her brother to herself." I'll explain the details in a later post.)

Megami could certainly motivate him to become a detective. After surviving such a possibly traumatic event, there's no way you wouldn't want to learn how to point out and investigate things like this to avoid other incidents.

Additionally, all of these hopes could make Taro's mental health deteriorate by the end of the game. If you had these continous hopeful thoughts being shot down plus possible losing the chance to ve in romantic relationships with outstanding people only to figure out that it was because of some psychopath you bumped into once, I'm sure you'd lose yourself as well (depending on how much damage is truly done). This could all pile into a bad ending where Taro "eliminates" Aishi for potentially ruining his life- and even better partnering with Info-Chan possibly.

#Art #YanSim #Yandere Simulator #YanSim Story #Yandere #Mentions of rivals #Rivals #Taro #Yamada #Taro Yamada

[smolwritingchick]

Individually, what do you think each member will say about Jennie’s positive impact on them?

Overall, it’s her encouragement for the boys. She is not afraid to be vocal about them. The love and support she has for these 7 men will be known loud and proud! 💜 it’s a start for these answers!

For RM, Jennie definitely made sure to make him stop calling himself ugly during the first few years of debut. Helped him learn from past mistakes and to be more mindful of his wording (since the Dope chapter). Being there for him during interviews in America and giving him media training for America. They’ll have a special signal for each other if they need help in interviews and just knowing she won’t let the American media fluster him would boost his public speaking and confidence for their interviews in English.

With Jin, watching Jennie grow up with Bangtan since the trainee days would make him feel like a proud big brother. I feel like he’d learn to be even more protective and understanding as he lived with her in the dorm, thinking of her as a little sister/daughter figure. Also, she was vocal about his talent in singing and would boost his confidence in singing and dancing when she stayed late with him to practice. Cooking and baking in the dorm wouldn’t be a hassle at times because she would assist him and make it fun with her playlists in the background and silly banter

With Yoongi, because of Jennie, I believe his naps would be even more relaxing since they nap together a lot. His work ethic seems to increase even more when she visits his studio to watch him work as she would vibe with him a lot. She would be a strong support system along with Bangtan for him regarding his mental health too

With Hobi, Jennie would remind him who tf he is and how amazing he is as she gave him pep talks regarding negativity on him. She would remind him a lot about how loved he is and reassuring him that his work in BTS is appreciated. They’d share a lot of time dancing together and she’d teach him a lot of dances from America, expanding his knowledge.

With Jimin, helping him make some genuine friends! She will introduce him to nonfamous friends of hers that she trusts and won’t use them for clout or film every single interaction they have for some likes. Also the constant encouragement and cheering up whenever he beats himself up for making mistakes while performing.

With Taehyung, her constant reminder of how lucky she is to have a friend like him in her life. And that he has soared from being the secret member of Bangtan. Also her enthusiasm and support over him acting and modeling. He’d bring up how he was hesitant to take the K-Drama role but she gave him that extra push to take a chance on it.

With Jungkook, she taught him how to love romantically and experienced a lot of firsts with her regarding their relationship. And every single experience he has shared with her has been beautiful as he’d mention how love can be a journey but this journey with Jennie has been a fun one. Definitely being even more chivalrous thanks to her. Also she’d get him to be fluent in English and helped him be less shy

#answered #anon

[deepspacedukat]

Icing

I’m actually really nervous about this one! I didn’t intend for a challenge fic to be the way I debuted Kollos on his own, but here we are! I did the same thing with Jorik, and that turned out alright. ANYWAY. This is the first time Kollos has taken center stage, so I hope you’ll all enjoy my mature Pointy Boi’s debut! 💖 It should be stated up front that this is an AU of his multi-chapter fic (that I haven’t posted yet 😅) which will be Kollos x OFC. This was just an experiment, albeit a fun one! Anyway, enjoy!

Day 11: Cinnamon Bun (coming on a pregnant belly)

SoC prompt list here. SoC Masterlist here. Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Kollos (OC) x Reader

[A/N: This is smut, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Interspecies sex, Human/Vulcan sex, dirty talk, breeding kink, pregnancy kink, possessive language, cinnamon bun, coming on a pregnant belly, oral sex (female receiving).

~*~

“Adun, please, I need you.” The plea came from far above his seeking lips, but he wouldn’t be swayed. Not just yet.

“You’ll have me, ashaya. Be patient just a few moments more,” Kollos replied as his unrelentingly slow kisses up her thighs stirred his wife into a desperate fog.

Through their bond, he could feel her affection for him mingling seamlessly with her desire. He was fortunate enough to have a mate with a sex drive that was a match for his own, and she was even more amorous now that she was carrying his child. It was his responsibility and honor to attend to her pleasure, especially during this time.

Reaching up, Kollos carefully caressed his wife’s swollen belly, moaning hungrily against the soft skin of her upper thigh. She’d already come twice while riding his face, but he intended to give her much more than that.

The former minister slid out from beneath her and helped her lay on her back, making sure she was properly supported and comfortable. She was a vision spread open for him like this. Surrounded and luxuriating in a veritable pile of pillows atop their bed, Kollos’s heavily pregnant wife reached her arms out for her husband. He grasped one of her hands as he knelt between her spread legs, looking down at her in awe.

He would never get used to this. When his ex-wife was pregnant, he hadn’t been allowed to explore the primal urges that swirled within him. Their marriage was no more than a political alliance between their families. The intimacy they had shared was no more than perfunctory performance of a perceived duty - to have a productive union and appear to be a true family. Despite their marriage, they had never completely confided in one another. Outside of Kollos’s instances of pon farr and the conception of their child, there was almost no intimate contact between them. Such an exploration of what it meant to have a pregnant mate would not have been welcome.

He could indulge those particular urges now, though. The desire to hold his lover, to feel the life they had created together growing within her, to prove that he was a worthy mate by tending to her pleasure throughout her pregnancy and beyond...she had made it clear that she was open to all of that and more. This second marriage was a love match. Kollos and his new wife were undeniably compatible, both physically and mentally. The necessary attraction had been there from the beginning, and now he could truly experience what a marriage should be.

“Look at you. You are already full of me, yet still you beg for me to fuck you,” he crooned. A fierce possessiveness roared within him as the tip of his lok brushed through her soaked folds, prompting him to lift her legs carefully in his grasp. He probed their bond to check that she wasn’t in any discomfort, and when none could be found, he began pushing relentlessly forward, splitting her open on his length. “My beautiful, accommodating wife. You take me so well.”

“Kollos, p-please,” she called out, covering his hands with hers where they gripped her thighs. “Please...Please, I need you!”

“You have me.” His promise was accompanied by his lips on her one of her calves. The soft, tight warmth of his mate around him made Kollos groan as he began moving in slow, deliberate thrusts. Bracing her legs on his broad chest, he reached between her legs and gradually began stirring her passion further with swirling circles over her clit. “You will always have me.”

Her fingernails dug into his skin as she clung to him, and Kollos let out a deep, rumbling growl as he began to lose his composure. Leaning into this sort of savage desire meant that he’d have to spend a little longer meditating tonight, but that was a sacrifice he was more than willing to make if this lovemaking brought his spouse pleasure. It was the least he could do to make sure that she was comfortable and satisfied while she was carrying their child.

He’d promised when they were married that she would want for nothing, and to date, he was proud to be able to say that he had kept that promise. He had demonstrated himself to be a capable provider, and he was happy to continue to do so for her. She deserved the best, after all, and although he was no longer a member of the Vulcan High Command, he still wished to give his mate the best life possible - that included as many orgasms as she could ever desire.

As she cried out for the third and fourth times that night, Kollos felt his own end approaching. Close to completely unhinged with desire, he coaxed her through a fifth peak and pulled out. Standing quickly on the bed, he fisted his lok, roaring as his pleasure gushed through his fingers and splattered on his wife’s stomach. His seed dripped down the sides of her rounded belly while he moaned above her.

Mine. Mine, mine, mine! The word repeated over and over like a drumbeat in his head, his heart, and even in the core of his katra. Easing himself back down onto the bed beside his wife, he found his lips immediately claimed by hers.

He still had to clean his spend off of her, and soon a desire that began somewhere in the post-orgasmic haze thrummed between them until they were both ravenous with desire yet again: his tongue would make a suitable and efficient tool to do the job.

Kollos was more than happy to fulfill that desire.

~*~*~

Vulcan Words:

Adun = husband

ashaya = beloved

~*~

Taglist:

@android-boyfriends @attention-bajoranworkers @bigblissandlove1 @darkmattervibes @emilie786 @horta-in-charge @live-logs-and-proper @slutty-slutty-vulcans @starrynightgardens @toebeans-mcgee

#deepspacedukat fic #Former Minister Kollos of Vulcan #Kollos x Reader #SoC 2023 #soc day 11