#and by that I mean aro/ace erasure | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

disconnected-dragon · 8 months

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Riverdale’s finale is tonight. What an end of an era. The swan song of a modern masterpiece. The final tearing out of a thorn in one’s side.

But most importantly—

THE FINAL END OF ALLO JUGHEAD OH PRAISE THE LORD WE ARE SO BACK

#riverdale #so long and thanks for all the fish #and by that I mean aro/ace erasure #jughead jones #he will finally be back in his original state #his tag will eventually be flushed or b*ghead and jero*nica and j*rchie #ohhhhh what a HAPPY HAPPY DAY

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redysetdare · 21 days

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One thing I've noticed about the erasure of aspec identities is that it's eerily familiar to the erasure of non-binary identities. Often times Aspec identities are viewed as Blank slates to slap other identities on top of - similar to non-binary identities.

A character uses strictly they/them and people will say "Okay but I'm going to use he/him or she/her because x looks like a boy/girl to me" A character strictly states they are not interested in romance and people will say "okay but I'm going to call them a lesbian/gay/any other sexuality because obviously they must be interested in x even though they said they weren't interested at all."

"I can ignore this characters canonical non-binary identity because people can headcanon whatever they want and I headcanon them as cis instead! no this isn't erasure!!! it's fiction it doesn't hurt anyone! pronouns don't equal gender anyways!!!"

"I can ignore this characters canonical aspec identity because people can ship/headcanon whatever they want and I headcanon this character as allo/not aspec instead! no this isn't erasure!!! it's fiction it doesn't hurt anyone! aspecs can still date and have sex anyways!!!"

idk as someone who is both nonbinary and aroace I'm having a sense of déjà vu.

#text #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #non-binary #nonbinary #non binary #I'm noticing similarities in these arguments #idk if it means anything or the connection #i just know it's all recycled bs and it is all just as bad and frustrating #just the way they find loop holes and how they try to use those to justify their erasure #without caring to actually learn the complexities of what they are talking about #this is not the first time these arguments have been used #it will unfortunately not be the last #we must target the core of these half-baked arguments if we are ever to be free from this hell

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waterberry-strawmelon · 30 days

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just gonna go ahead and say this in advance—

if Riz does indeed come out in junior year, and he says, “I’m ace” or “I’m asexual” when referring specifically to his lack of romantic attraction, aromantic people are allowed to be upset about it.

#because yes of course some people irl say ace to mean both bc that’s how they personally identify #but in fictional media the distinction is necessary. especially with how few canonically aromantic characters even exist in ANY mainstream/#popular media.#I assure you I’m not invalidating anyone who is ace and they mean that to include lack of romantic attraction.#But to look at this from a MEDIA PERSPECTIVE its irresponsible to do this w/out clarification that they also know the word aromantic exists #because otherwise that’s just a conflation of asexual and aromantic without any nuance #and an erasure of aromantic people who are not asexual.#Plus—name a single fucking time a character in mainstream/popular media has said the word aromantic.#Because I can name several instances where they say asexual. But I can’t think of ONE where they say aro or aromantic.#(Maybe that Isaac kid does in season 2 of Heartstopper? But I haven’t seen it so I’m not 100% sure.)#anyways.#the way this fucking fandom—and ANY fandom with a canon aro character—discusses the aromantic spectrum #is blatantly just to remove their own personal guilt for shipping that character with other characters and erasing their orientation.#because yes aromanticism IS a spectrum!! But when people talk about fabriz and say ‘he can still be ace!’ (Which is aro erasure) or #‘he can still be aro!’ They never SHOW riz still being aro or having any kind of complex relationship with romance.#I’m angry and I’m allowed to be.#I get that a ship you liked may be hard to let go of or something #But I’d be much less mad if all the fabriz fans said ‘yeah I know Riz is aro in canon and he and Fabian would never get together.#I just like to imagine it sometimes in fiction/fanon!’ Then that would be a WHOLE different conversation #Because then they’d at least be acknowledging that riz doesn’t feel romance in canon. That fabriz is something that actively #Goes against the canon characterization of one of those characters—and that’s fine. Just fucking ACKNOWLEDGE IT.#But most of these people either WANT fabriz to be canon/believe it WILL BE canon #OR I guess feel uncomfortable confronting the fact that they ARE erasing riz’s aromanticism so they don’t even acknowledge it at all.#fhjy #fantasy high #d20 #dimension 20 #riz gukgak #aromantic riz gukgak #fhsy

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picturebird · 1 month

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Some Asexual/Aromantic Reminders for Fandom

1. There is no justification for thinking “I like this character better when they’re not aro/ ace.”

Aces/aros aren’t better when they’re allos.

Gays aren’t better when they’re straight.

What that really says: “I don’t like asexuality. I don’t like aromantics.” No matter how you dress it up.

I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain why this is wrong. No character is better when you make them less special.

2. Saying “asexuals can have sex” is a huge oversimplification. When aces have sex it doesn’t make them allosexual, they don’t feel the same things. It doesn’t mean they even enjoy sex. It doesn’t mean they can have sex with a partner. It doesn’t mean they can do it more than once. And it doesn’t mean they have “fixed” themselves and can now love properly.

When bisexuals have sex with someone of the opposite gender it doesn’t make them straight. It doesn’t mean they “fixed” their homosexuality.

3. Erasure can happen in cannon and head cannon. You don’t have to be a professional to participate in it. When social media is flooded with images of an asexual character in sexual situations with no acknowledgement of asexuality, it’s impossible to see the asexuality through it. Maybe it’s not erased, it’s buried in an avalanche.

4. I can name five canonical Aro or Ace characters. The rest are allosexual. In every movie, book, tv show, and comic that’s ever been written. Throughout all of time.

Sherlock Holmes (original novels) who is constantly paired non platonically with Irene Adler or John Watson in his incarnations. No hate on those ships, just pointing out an example.

SpongeBob SquarePants who is asexual because real life sea sponges are asexual.

Rafael Santiago (Shadowhunter Chronicles) who was portrayed in the books as cold and indifferent to people’s feelings.

Isaac (Heartstopper) whose entire story is about being Asexual.

Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) who actually has a personality, a backstory, goals outside of being accepted as asexual, a dynamic story arc, and complex relationships with friends/enemies that are actually fun to watch. Honestly the best ace/aro rep I’ve ever seen: a guy with no interest in sex who actually has a sense of humor!

When the ratio is a million: 5, it’s not ridiculous for aces and aros to ask people to ship someone else as allosexual. Literally anyone else. This can’t possibly be the only option.

5. Creators have a history of not defending asexual/aromantic characters. They don’t fight to make sure people respect their sexuality. It’s always better for business and social media trends to encourage shipping. Sex sells. Romance too. They may be the authority on a character, that doesn’t mean they’re an authority on aces/aros.

6. You can’t show a visual of someone being asexual or aromantic. Not in the same way you can show two girls kissing or men getting married. You can show platonic relationships, but that doesn’t prove the absence of attraction. All fan art with ace/aro people requires context. It’s not hard to scribble a note here or put in a tag or something. It’s also super sweet to see in a post.

7. Shipping and fandom should be about fun. Fun for everyone. Ship freely and kindly.

#asexuality #aromantic #Alastor #hazbin alastor #Hazbin hotel #sherlock holmes #Rafael Santiago #isaac heartstopper #heartstopper #spongebon squarepants #shipping #fandom #Sherlock #the shadowhunter chronicles

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penguinsfly · 2 months

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I unfortunately saw something I didn't want to see and that was my last straw. I'm fucking doing this.

Let's establish this first. Alastor is stated in the show to be asexual that is not up to discussion. He is also very heavily implied in the same conversation to be aromatic. 'An Ace in the hole' being used in context of him being with Charlie is also implying his aromanticism.

VIDEO

If that's not enough then here is Viv speaking about his romantic orientation. It's pretty clear despite the fact that afterwards she said it's okay to headcanon whatever (it's not but I will get o that later) that he is written purely as an aro ace character.

On top of that going by Alastor's interaction with Angel from the pilot and the first episode it is clear that he is sex repulsed. Not only that but on the fandom website he is stated to be touch averse with two sources which you can check out on the website.

Hazbin hotel wiki, Alastor page

Now we established that Alastor is canonically Asexual, Aromantic, Sex Repulsed and Touch Averse

As I also am all of the above I'll try to explain everything to the best of my ability as simply as I can.

Aromanticism and Asexuality.

I'm probably targeting the audience that knows those terms but regardless I will explain it anyway.

Aromantic - people that experience little to no romantic attraction towards any gender

Asexual - people that experience little to no sexual attraction towards any gender.

Little to no

Asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums in which people can feel certain attractions towards people but those attractions are less occurring or are defined by personal connection.

Diagram from AVEN website

However some people are at the end of the spectrum, they never felt attraction and that's valid. Alastor was stated to be aroace he wasn't written as demi or as gray he was written as aroace as in the end of the spectrum. His repulsion and not giving shit about romance or sex speaks for itself.

Representation

I do understand that everyone wants to be represented but it's so important to understand that aroace people are one of the most underrepresented queer groups in the media.

And I'm not here to scream about how I want my fav character to be just like me I don't care for it I'm way too confident in my orientation to rely on that however I'm tired of explaining to people what asexuality and aromanticism is just to receive 'are you sure' or 'you'll change your mind' or 'its not real' or the community favourite 'you'll find the right person' no I won't I'm not looking thank you very much (I just smile and nod to be polite and I'm sick of it).

'Harmless' buts like: 'He might be on the spectrum', 'AroAce people can still feel attraction' hurt the final outcome for all the people on the spectrum not only strictly aroaces because it allows people to write one shots with 'Demi Alastor' that falls in love in 2000 words because he is 'demi' (spoiler alert: they don't understand what that label means). It's just a cover, an opening, sneaky way to disregard his orientation, feel good about themselves and move on. Newsflash there is no moving on for aroace people it's our life.

Shipping

Shipping is just harmless fun right? Usually yes but not in this case. In the same way its not okay to ship gay characters with genders they are not attracted to.

It's erasure and since there is much less people identifying on aro/ace spectrums then there is gay or bi people our voices are being silenced. Not to mention that gay people received support from entire LGBTQIA+ community over the years in contrast to aro/ace specs who to this day are told that we are 'not queer enough' or 'not oppressed enough' often by other queer people.

And finally... FINALLY we get cannon Aro/Ace character that is clearly not interested in romance and sex. Character that beats stereotypes of boring and timid aro/ace people and what's the first people do? They ship him. Alastor's storyline provides so many points to be explored like 'what is his backstory', ' what's about his deal', ' how does he fit in in the found family trope' , 'does he care about hotel guests' yet people choose to write about the only thing that he is not interested in. As a heavily repulsed person that used to be horrified about the fact that I'll have to fall in love with somebody at some point before I found out what aro/ace is I find it repulsive and trust me he would too.

But Viv said it's okay!

Its the same point once again. What if Viv said that it's okay to ship gay Angel with woman. She doesn't have authority to say shit like that.

Queerplatonic relationships

I can't tell you not to do it I don't think he would be necessary interested in it but for fuck sake do your research and try to understand what queerplatonic means before you use it as a cover to shamelessly ship him. Respect the fact that he is sex repulsed and touch averse and you're fine.

Why can't you just avoid it?

First of all I shouldn't have to. Alastor's orientation should be respected in the fandom like any other orientation is. Second of all I've tried. I tried to only look up AroAce Alastor tag I've blocked over 80 people on tumblr alone (I just counted) to avoid to see anything that could trigger me and I'm not talking about slightly shippy posts or fanarts I'm talking about full blown disregard towards his orientation. Guess what it didn't work!

Archive of our own where do I start. I've used this website for over a decade and I could probably count days I didn't go there on my fingers. I'm fluent in AO3 I know which tags I should block. I know how to skim thorough the summary and tags to see if I'm interested. I've seen shit I'm a shipper I've been on ao3 for ten years but never had to mentally prepare myself to face queerphobia as I click on the tab.

Just use aro/ace Alastor tag.

I do and let me tell you people can't tag for shit or they just pretend to be clueless at this point. Besides see this?

there is more ff with Alastor/reader (disgusting) than there is Alastor with his canon orientation and to play the devils advocate for arophobic people there is more Angel/Alastor then his stated in the show sexuality. I understand that fandom goes back before the show was aired but Viv confirmed his orientation back then too.

Summary

I could go on and on bout different issues and maybe I will in the future but I'm not wasting anymore of this weekend on it. I'm ready to answer any questions as long as they are respectful.

I'm aware that he is a fictional character, it doesn't affect him in any way whatsoever but it does affect aromantic and asexual people keep it in mind.

If there are any mistakes grammar related I'm not sorry I'm fluent in English (not my first language) but I took 3h nap in between and I'm sleep deprived.

Have a nice day.

#alastor #aroace alastor #hazbin hotel #aromantic #asexual #aromantic alastor #asexual alastor

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vroomvroomwee · 4 months

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I don't know if I'm the only one, but after season two I've noticed a horrible rise of aphobia in the Good Omens fandom. Just to clarify it's not the cast and crew's fault for this, nor is it the result of A and C "finally" kissing on screen (a kiss does NOT mean they aren't aspec despite what many people are saying)

There's simply been a staggering amount of fans, posts, comments not necessarily about hate towards headcannoning the two as aro or ace, so much as there has been a rampant wave of erasure happening. And yes aphobia doesn't just mean outright insults and hate crimes, it also comes in the form of dismission and inconsideration. Of acting like ace and aro identities are a disgrace or something inferior. Like aspec people are unimportant and something to be pitied.

And I think it's mainly due to new fans joining the fandom who only joined because they heard about two "men" kissing. Now, I too love my fair share of queer rep in media, but when someone is new to the fandom, the least they could do is research. Research the book, research past posts, research the fandom itself and what people generally stand for, instead of barging in and acting like the place is there only for them and demanding a thousand more kisses in season 3 with several sex scenes (yes I've come across a dozen of those people by now. No they were not joking)

The more fans the merrier because the show is incredible and beautiful and lovely and everyone should be able to watch it, but please for the love of God have respect for other fans.

And that's why I think it's so important for other fans to call this behaviour out, because guess what? A and C are supernatural entities with no concept of gender or sexuality, at least not one that aligns with that of humans, and they're STILL up for interpretation just as they've always been. As much as people love their own headcannons and want them to be respected they should also give that same courtesy to others (even though you might "not like it" but that's another conversation entirely)

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immortalarizona · 8 months

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listen. I have never watched Riverdale and never will. but that doesn’t mean I’m not sO FUCKING PISSED at the polycule ending.

I’m not mad about the polyamory (I would like to stress this point for anyone who wants to come after me for this post), I’m mad that Jughead Jones, one of, like, the two aroace characters in media people have actually maybe heard of (the other being Yelena Belova) is part of this romantic, sexual relationship.

he’s ace!!!

he’s aro!!!

and it fucking stings that the writers thought it was okay to erase that aroace rep when there’s next to none for us to begin with.

fuck your amatonormativity and fuck your queer erasure. we aspecs deserve better.

#“bUt aRi aTtrAcTioN iSn’T aCtiOn!!1! hE cOuLd sTiLL bE aRoAcE iN riVeRdaLe!1!11”#yeah I’m aware of that but I HIGHLY DOUBT THAT WAS WHAT THE WRITERS WERE GOING FOR #and do you fucking think your average allo is gonna read it that way even if it was???#also tbh I Do Not trust allo writers to tell that kind of story without perpetuatinflg erasure #can’t have shit in detroit I guess #tw aphobia #asexual #aromantic #aroace #riverdale #riverdale finale #aroace jughead #anti riverdale #fuck amatonormativity

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alacetor-the-duckies-deer · 2 months

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Me, aro/ace: God i wish there was more aro/ace content of Alastor with MY specific headcannon

T̴̨̡̮͇̳̠͓̺͇̟͌̽̌͊h̸̢͇̯̘̣̳͉̼̭̙̜̫̭̩̉̈̈́ͅę̶̛̝͍̙̙̬̝̘̞̰̂̂̈́͊͑̇̄̓̈́̅̃̕ͅm̶̢̻̽ͅ: yeah God it's so fucking disgusting to ship Alastor with ANYONE it's so acephobic, it's ERASURE ITS insulting to the community when canon is RIGHT THERE EXISTING-

Me: actually you know what. I wanna see that deer bent over Lucifer's office desk ass UP tail OUT getting all that adacity fucked outta him good. I want him quivering, I want him shaking. I want Lucifer's dick the only thing keeping him from sliding off the desk. Fuck you.

I mean, I DO want to see my brand of aro/ace content [Example], QPT duckideer for the win, but the dichotomy of man and all that, I'm CREATING it my damn self like an ADULT. And, you know, because we have to keep saying it I guess. Ace people can fuck. We're not barbie dolls.

#alastor hazbin hotel #alastor altruist #duckiedeer #radioapple #radiostatic #asexual alastor #a prisma post

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convolutedblasphemy · 2 months

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What I mean when I say we're too nice to allos is that everytime I see aphobia, ace erasure, a complete disregard for our boundaries around sex & romance and hostility towards the fact that some of us need filters, tags and accomodations, there's aces and aros in the comments trying to appeal to the expectations of allos and seem likable to them. It's like people are subconsciously attempting to prove they're "one of the good ones". "I'm aro/ace but don't worry, I'm sex/romance-favorable and I'm not like the ones where you need to watch what you say so they don't get uncomfortable and I'll validate your lifestyle whenever I can."

And I don't fault them for it, it's an easy trap to fall into when you consider how shitty the alienation you have to deal with from allos already is, especially if you're sex-repulsed or romance-repulsed. You're already being excluded enough and it's easy to feel like every post you make about your experiences and struggles needs a sex-positivity disclaimer or an "aces / aros can have sex & date!!!" disclaimer so people will lower their pitchforks around you and acknowledge you're not trying to threaten the way other people live out their sexuality & relationships. It's easy to believe you're taking up too much space by wanting your boundaries to be respected in friend groups and public spaces that are supposed to be inclusive. I've been there.

But you're not and you deserve to feel comfortable as long as you respect the rules that other people put on their spaces. You deserve to be respected and you deserve to have your identity be respected. And you deserve to be mad when people repeatedly walk all over you and your struggles. And you don't have to get into a de-escalation mindset every time they do. You have nothing to prove. You have nothing to justify. You have nothing to apologize for just because you're aro/ace. And they're not gonna take us seriously if we keep acting like we do.

#asexual #asexuality #aroace #aromantic #aro #ace #sex repulsed #sex favorable #ace community #aphobia

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lying-on-floors · 5 months

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Just because a character is aro/ace does not mean they can't form close bonds, or have romantic partners, or have sex.

Aro/ace is an identification, but it's also a spectrum.

Aromantic is an identity and spectrum. Some aromantic people feel no romance and have no desire for the intimacy that comes with romantic relationships. Other aromantic people may feel the desire for the intimacy that romance brings, but have never felt romantic feelings, or they have, but they can't distinguish between platonic feelings and romantic feelings. Some aromantic people may only feel romance once they've formed a close bond with another person. Some aromantic people, like myself, have not really felt romance but has a desire to and hopes that, one day, they can find someone, who is patient and loving and willing, to help them figure it out. And some aromantic people fluctuate, from feeling romance to not feeling it, at all.

Asexuality is an identity and spectrum. Some asexual people are touch averse and have no desire for sexual activites, alone or with others. Other asexual people may feel the desire for sexual activities but have no attraction to another person. Some asexual people are attracted to someone but just don't care for sex. Some asexual people do feel attraction and is okay with having sex with another person but they have no desire to be touched by their partner. Some asexual people may fluctuate, from feeling attraction to not feeling any. And some asexual people only feel attraction once they've formed a close bond with that person.

There are so many more identities within the aro/ace spectrum but these are just a few, and just because someone is aromantic, does not mean they're asexual and vice versa. Sometimes, someone is both aromantic and asexual but that does not invalidate them or their experiences.

So, you can headcanon whatever you like about a canonically aro/ace character, but PLEASE do not erase their aro/ace identity all together.

I would like to clarify that this post is not specifically about zolu, and I have no problem with people going against popular headcanons, it just got me thinking about aro/ace erasuer, which as an aro/ace person, truly effects me and I just, hate to see it. I would also like to add, I understand Luffy isn't canonically aro/ace, it's a popular headcanon, it just reminded me of my feelings on aro/ace erasure. If you look at my profile, this post has been in my head for a little while. Sorry for any misconceptions. /Gen

#aromantic #asexual #lesbian #nonbinary #queer #headcanon #this was inspired by #zolu #and the #one piece #fandom #but it stands for all #aro/ace #characters

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evamaury · 2 months

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RANT!!

i hate that the one time aro/ace stuff is being recognized as an orientation is to excuse aro/ace erasure by saying that aroace ppl can still date and what not

like… yeah we can… but the character is clearly repulsed 😭 whenever something is implied for a characters sexuality, everyone immediately says it’s canon unless the implication is that the character is aromantic/ asexual repulsed istg

usually ppl say that talking abt this sorta stuff is pointless because the fandom will just do whatever they want anyway, and you’re right, but that doesn’t mean that i’m not allowed to feel upset?? like let me speak my truth girl

i can literally go on a whole tangent with how i feel abt everything just in relation to this. aro/ace ppl have had such bad and minimal representation for like ever so it just feels so invalidating seeing a once in a life time occurrence of an aro/ace character being a thing just to be dwindled down into an allonormative character all under the guise of “aro/ace ppl can still date / have sex!” like, obviously, but you’re missing the point.

tbh, i feel like we just need more aro/ace repulsed characters in general just because romantic and sexual relationships are so normalized and just EVERYWHERE.

like i would love demi, grey, aego characters and so on but the world is just not ready for characters lacking/ not feeling romance and sexual feelings yet so baby steps i suppose

also before anyone comes at me for “invalidating” aspec ppl im literally asexual and cupioromantic myself sooo 🤓

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor aroace #cupioromantic

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ziptie-bouquet · 11 months

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I hate that people view polyamory and aromanticism as completely opposed things. We surprisingly have so much in common:

We deconstruct amatonormativity from different perspectives that are both very enriching.

We suffer from laws and advantages given only to mono married couples, and that aren't granted to us too.

And also:

Polyam aros exist!

There is so much erasure regarding polyam/ace/aro people within the queer community, and something that everybody disregards is the different meaning relationships can have for aros and how that mingles well with polyamory.

Obviously, I'm not saying that every aro is polyam, but the strict and restricted understanding of relationships by people outside of those circles masks the reality of people who are both!

Aroallos exist and can engage with multiple sexual partners at a time. People can love in more ways than friendships or romance, that's why we have QPRs or terms like alterous or exteramo attractions. The aro spectrum is very vast, and there are a lot of different experiences that can make people identify as aro and polyam. Our definition of relationships, even with just platonic attraction, can be incompatible with traditional mono romantic relationships, too. There are so many possibilities and so much close mindedness around it.

Just keep an open mind if you're not concerned by this. Remember to include us at pride. We're queer and fight with you against heteronormativity!

#aro #aromantic #aromanticism #lgbtqia+#arospec #lgbtq #lgbt #polyam #polyamourous #polyamory #alloaro #aroallo

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xxlovelynovaxx · 2 months

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Screenshot:

Cool, cool, I guess I'm using you, as an intersex transneufemmasc gender nonconforming person who experiences transmisogyny, because you're such a pick me that OTHER TRANSMASCS EXPERIENCING TRANSMISOGYNY IS ABOUT YOU. I guess every single gnc AND gender conforming non-passing transmasc talking about having experienced transmisogyny is actually just fucking tokenizing you personally.

Oh, and "I'm so transmisogyny exempt that I was transmisogynistically attacked but it was misdirected and didn't hurt me (I can't admit it hurt me. I'll be attacked by my own community if I admit it hurt me. I'm not allowed to have feelings about this or I'm one of the bad ones. Being a man and expressing being upset at marginalization is (trans) misogynistic) like??? Hello???

You're so terrified of being wounded that you're taking knives already in you and twisting them around and around and around!

Like at best, you personally managed to shrug it off because of having a good support system (extremely uncommon for all trans people but especially groups struggling with erasure), having other identity privilege (in which case congrats on ignoring the lived realities of more marginalized transmascs than you), or whatever.

At worst, you're actively suppressing trauma or similar which is not healthy and in fact often leads to harmful and toxic behavior like???

I want to feel for this person, because I truly understand where the urge to do this comes from. You get told over and over and over that you are a nonmarginalized ally in your own community and you don't want to hurt the people you care about so you shove down all the pain so far that it cuts off the nerve and you become numb to it and you present yourself as a good little sacrificial lamb privileged man who knows his place and grovel for scraps from a tiny vocal minority of a community who are petty bullies who never grew out of their pick-me and mean-gender phases.

(Note, I'm only specifically targeting patterns of behavior with that statement, which is gender-neutral on purpose. Trans people of all genders are guilty of this shit.)

And listen, I know I'm an outlier as an intersex person, as someone who is both transfem and transmasc, as someone who is ambiguous in every sense of the word. But just fucking. LISTEN to people. People are the most reliable narrators on their own experiences with marginalization! Transfems are not the authority on what non-transfems experience, just as transmascs are not the authority on what non+transmascs experience!

CRIPES, it's almost as if marginalized people don't hold the sole knowledge and authority even of bigotry that primarily targets them! It's almost as if bigotry isn't neat and clean and is in fact based in, idk, NOT respecting people's actual identities?! It's almost as if the person bleeding at the end of the day is the target and victim of any kind of bigotry?!

Fuck, man. I'm tired of this shit. The disabled community in general does it. The neurodivergent community does it. The autism community does it. The ADHD community does it. The personality disorder community does it. The mobility disability community does it. The chronic illness community does it. The cognitive/intellectual disability community does it. The plural community does it. The traumagenic community does it. The endogenic community does it. The dissociative disorder community does it. The general queer community and general trans community does it. The transfem community does it. The transmasc community does it. The nonbinary community does it. The ace community does it. The aro community does it. The lesbian community does it. The gay community does it. On and on and on and on and ON.

Your identity makes you an authority on your own lived experiences. Your time in a community, if you listen and learn, can often make you at least a reasonably reliable authority on broader experiences within that community - though only if the community itself is diverse in terms of other identities, and you are aware of the privileges and marginalizations you hold and how they are intersectional, and make an effort to make space for people who are comparatively marginalized to you.

And as this post demonstrates, there's a reason for that paragraph of caveats. You will always have more authority to say "this marginalized identity DOES struggle with this" than "this marginalized identity DOESN'T struggle with this". Because the thing, is, the former is saying "at least some of us face this". The latter is saying "none of us do, and if anyone says they do they're either lying or their experiences don't count and are not worth mentioning". If you say "none of us face this (or if any of us do it doesn't matter)", you're probably not fucking listening.

Having a marginalized identity also doesn't make you a reliable authority on what other identities do or don't experience, are or aren't harmed by, what they can and can't reclaim, the levels of violence and hate they face, the struggles that directly result from their identity (so, not just ones that come from external bigotry), and so on.

I dunno. I face danger from both transmisogyny and transandromisia daily. I have actual physical traits that are demonized or otherwise used to abuse me in common with both trans men and trans women. Most of these occurred without hormonal or surgical treatment; those that were made more prominent or occurred due to gender affirming care also straddle that line. I live in a barely red-violet area in an increasingly fascist state. I'm profoundly disabled and am unable to move, for more reasons than just money alone at this point. I'm sick and getting sicker because of abusive and ableist doctors. I have no energy left to fight. I may never be able to receive treatment for my most severe disabilities because my specific manifestation of the combination of MCAS, POTS, chronic pain, and likely ME/CFS eliminates MOST treatment options for those and my other disabilities. I'm also fat, am dealing with ongoing severe trauma from multiple sources, and am considered as "mad" and "stupid" (cognitive disabilities) as I am considered "crippled". I live far below the poverty line supporting myself and my partner on a single SSI income and a tiny stipend - one which still reduces my SNAP benefits to $23 per MONTH.

Like, I'm fighting the intersection of a half dozen different marginalizations. I'm out here LIVING the theory you're arguing about. I don't have time for people "well ackshually"-ing my real, ongoing trauma and oppression. I don't have the energy to hold understanding and compassion for people actively feeding into erasure of that!

Oh, and aside from intersex people, AMAB transmascs who face transmisogyny exist, asshole (@ the screenshot). Not that assigned gender actually is a reliable indicator of whether or not someone experiences transmisogyny either, but since people like them typically mean "AFAB trans person" when they say transmasc and "AMAB trans person" when they say transfem, it's worth noting. But that IS, btw, what people mean when they say tma/tme reduces people to their genitals. At least, their infant genitalia. Because sure, maybe a few people acknowledge that bottom surgery exists or tokenize intersex people to defend their use of it. But in common use, "tma" is only ever extended to people who are AMAB (or "AMAB-adjacent" if intersex, which itself is massively intersexist) and "trans enough" (which usually means being a womanhood or "femme enough", and only begrudgingly allows even transfem butches, let alone AMAB nonbinary people, into the term).

That's without even getting into how, even if some trans people MAY be LESS LIKELY to experience transmisogyny, none are truly ever "exempt". None of us sicko genderfreaks (in cis people's eyes) will ever be safe from transmisogyny for as long as it still exists.

I'm just. Exhausted, y'know?

#transandrophobia

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slothyykittee · 3 months

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As an aro (and potentially ace) person, and an Internet veteran since Rage comics, "Forever alone" captions and Nyan cat were still new and funny, I'm putting my take on this.

You cannot stop the Internet from doing whatever it wants to fictional characters. Period. The Hazbin Hotel fandom is no exception.

Back then, 4chan made this thing called "The Rules of the Internet" if I remember correctly. Its definitely a joke, since its way too long. However, there's some truth to it, such as the Rule 34 of that chart. It says

"If it exists, there's porn of it. No exceptions."

Everything, from living things to non-living, there will be sexual content of it in the Internet.

So it's absurd to try to control an entire fandom to adhere to things, even the creators themselves can't and all they can do is tell their fandoms to behave.

It's not surprising for me when I see fans ship/make smut of an aroace person. I have already seen queer identities of fictional characters being undermined by fandoms all the time, so at this point this is just fandom doing what fandom does.

Nevertheless, giving the ability to erase fictional queer identities to fans is stupid if you think about it. If fandom has such ability, then every single fictional queer identity since the dawn of humanity has been erased, as we know there are queerphobic fans.

In my opinion, I will give this ability to the creators of the Media. Like I said, you can't control fans, all we can to do is tell them what they're doing is wrong, and hope some fans will listen. Creators, however, can actually change the character's identity. They're the ones who created these characters after all.

If Alastor's aroace identity ended up being changed by Vivzie herself, this is where its applicable to say that AroAce/Queer erasure is happening.

Here's a note, though: Aroace is a spectrum, please don't assume that every person on the aroace spectrum is romance/sex repulsed. Sure, Alastor is, but doesn't mean other aroace characters are. This is a reminder to allos.

So in conclusion: You can't stop fandoms from doing their thing, even if you are the creator. Fortunately, though, people tend to only believe attributes of a character if the creator is the one giving such attributes. So you can rest assured that the character identity will (or may) stay.

#ramblings #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #vivziepop #aro #aroace #ace #fandom #fandom things #fandom wank #fandom issue #aromantic #asexual #aromantic asexual #vivziepop critical #hazbin hotel critical

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archivomeow · 1 month

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shipping aroaces + yelena belova 🏹 ♠️

!! reminder !! this is in no way to start drama, hate or anything, this is just me trying to explain, so read it, then give feedback, but be respectful or as respectful as you can be in the moment, i will be blocking trolls or people who claim aspec to be fake or those who cuss me out or are just plainly rude.

so i see this a lot… “but aros can date so i can ship this character!!!!”

and that is true, in some cases.

the thing i feel like people miss the most is:

being aromantic is a label, it mean no romantic attraction. but if a person is arospec, aka on the aromantic spectrum they can experience it (rarely / under certain circumstances etc.)

if you are aromantic, that doesn’t mean you can’t date, you obviously can, but not all aros chose to do so and both are just as valid.

aromantic as a term can be used as an umbrella term, a demiromantic can call themselves aro.

so while aros, just like all people can date and can choose to not date that doesn’t mean you get to throw that excuse around, same thing goes for QPRs but i will talk about that some other time.

i see allos throw around this excuse with Yelena Belova mainly, she is an aroace character, she has never shown interest in dating and has shown repulsion to sex. SO HOW COME YALL WRITE HER AND SHE SUDDENLY LIKES BOTH??? because well yk “aros can date” “aces can have sex”…

while both are true it literally takes away from her identity??? she is openly repulsed by sex and uninterested in romance AND THAT IS OKAY.

she doesn’t need to date, she doesn’t need a qpr either.

the only reason she is put in romantic/sexual situations is because people thirst over Florence (she is beautiful), you can write fics about her other many roles & leave the only aroace character she has played ALONE.

she is only put in QPRs by allos, because they want her to be a lesbian (even though she clearly states she is not a lesbian in the comics), so they say it’s a qpr and they get their way. she isn’t attracted to women. if the mcu will make her anything it is straight, as SHE IS NOT ATTRACTED TO WOMEN (hopefully aroace tho)…

and to aroaces who purposely disregard her preferences which are clear, idk what to say, it’s a shame that yall are so deep into amatonormativity.

++ just to add to all this “the comics aren’t the mcu”, imagine if there was an openly lesbian character and everyone just ignored it, they’re being shipped with a man, smut of them and men is created, so then the lesbian community tried to educate them, they try to explain that it is erasure and everyone just uses that argument. feels shit doesn’t it???

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sukunasbabygirl · 1 year

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I didn’t want to say this because I felt really bad over being to pushy but I realised that with this it’s okay to be pushy.

What I’m talking about is the erasure of Hunter’s bisexuality.

I know that a lot of people may not have noticed it and aren’t aware of the bi flag pictured on Hunter’s stitched shirt. It’s easily missed, and I get that! But I also think that some people are just openly ignoring it, which is deeply frustrating.

I myself am guilty of calling it ‘implied bisexuality’ because I was scared people would argue that it’s not been verbally confirmed. However, when Eda’s box had the bi flag on it, I’m pretty sure that most people accepted that as Bi Eda being canon, and those who didn’t had to put on the clown makeup because it later got verbally confirmed. Luz also has a bi flag on her hat too!

With this in mind, Hunter should be accepted as a canonically bi character. The crew wouldn’t just put a bi flag on his shirt for no reason if we look at the previous two examples. Side note that with headcanons such as Aro/Ace/Aroace Hunter, that’s fine as he can still be bi with those labels!! But headcanoning Hunter as gay for example while being aware of this bi confirmation and actively ignoring it… that’s biphobia.

The negative part of me thinks the ignorance to Hunter being bi may also stem from how bi men are treated in general (I am a bi man myself and oh boy… it isn’t good) but that’s a topic for a whole other day.

Also I’m aware one argument is that he also put the Japan flag on that shirt so obviously he has no clue what those flags mean. Maybe Hunter just likes anime and/or thinks Japan is cool, or maybe he just thought the flag was neat etc etc, but the crew wouldn’t put a pride flag for no reason, and we see the lesbian and bi flag in the scrapbook later on so it’s safe to assume Hunter is familiar with the flags.

I think another argument is the flag colours are off but… yeah that’s still the bi flag. They wouldn’t use those colours in that order, even if the purple is way lighter, accidentally. That was intentional.

Please if you see this post all I’m asking is you do acknowledge Hunter’s canon bisexuality and stop making excuses to erase it. Please.

#the owl house #toh #hunter toh #hunter noceda #hunter wittebane #hunter deamonne #i think these are the main hunter tags #also reminder that Dana herself is bisexual so the fact there’s a quite a few bi characters makes sense OKWKWW

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