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#and being a man doesn't make me any less vulnerable
darling-valentine · 23 days
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every now and then I remember that time my transfem friend and I were talking about her trauma and her transition and suddenly she said "but yeah you didn't go through any of that because trans men don't get harassed or bullied and have it overall easier" and I just felt so deeply upset at how she just assumed all the pain I went through couldn't exist because I somehow had it easier. I didn't even say anything because I didn't want her to think I was angry at her, because if I do then suddenly I'm an Angry Man that's exaggerating
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babyleostuff · 4 months
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when their strong independent s/o suddenly wants to be babied | ot13
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❥ seungcheol 
oh, he’d love that. as much of a baby as he is, cheol adores taking care of people that he loves, especially you, and especially because you’re never the one to lean on others or ask for help. so the second he notices you’re a lot more touchy and that your gaze follows him everywhere, his arms are wrapped around you in an instant, and he’s asking if you need any food, water, more pillows, or if the TV is too loud, while running his hand gently through your hair. he would never tell you this, but he’d be so thankful to you that you trusted him enough to let your guard down around him and allow yourself to depend on him a bit more sometimes (if it was his way, he’d like you to be a bit less independent, because he knows how tiresome it sometimes is, but nonetheless, cheol would always be there for you).
❥ jeonghan 
he’s already babying you, even when you're being your cold and independent self. he doesn’t care that you want to open that jar, he’s going to take it out of your hands and do it himself. you’re sitting on the couch while watching a movie with a popcorn bowl separating you? no problem, jeonghan moves it out of the way and pulls you down, so you could rest on his chest, while he’s throwing a blanket around you. he doesn’t do that because he thinks you’re incapable of taking care of yourself - he knows you can, but he doesn’t want you to feel like you can’t depend on him. besides, when he notices how exhausted you are but still doesn't want to depend on someone else, it makes him angry. so, be as independent as you wish, jeonghan is still going to baby the shit out of you. 
❥ joshua
same as jeonghan, you’re already getting that princess treatment, darling. but unlike hannie, joshua does that unconsciously - he doesn’t pay attention to the way he pets your hair whenever you succeed in something, how he grabs your waist to move you out of the way, so that he could reach for that plate, or how he always made sure you’d walk on the inner side of the sidewalk. he knew you were an independent, strong person, but he wouldn’t let you carry all of your burdens yourself, and he’d try to help you in any way he could to make it a bit easier for you. whenever you got a bit more baby around him, joshua would activate his physical touch and cling to you like a koala, because he knew how much, deep down, you enjoyed his clingy, and puppy like side.
❥ jun 
give him a second, because he’s freaking out. will turn into the fluffiest fluffball to ever fluff, because he wants nothing more than to make you happy when you’re in need of a bit more love and comfort. but before smothering you with his kisses and cuddles, jun makes sure you’re feeling fine mentally and physically - he sits you down, takes your hands in his, and when you assure him that you just need to be taken care of for a bit, he goes into teddy bear mode. He loves it when you depend on him, when you snuggle a bit closer to him in search for warmth, when you follow him around everywhere, when you link your pinky fingers when you’re out for a stroll. 
❥ hoshi 
giggling and kicking his feet. this man lives for taking care of you, even if his methods are sometimes a bit questionable. he loves your independent side, soonyoung finds it so cool that you are able to take such good care of yourself, but it makes him sulk sometimes, because “why don’t you depend on me a bit more?” so, whenever you are in baby mode, he tries to make the most of it - hug the shit out of you, follow you wherever he can, squish your cheeks, and call you corny pet names that would usually make you puke. but he would also be a bit more protective over you whenever you let your guard down like that, because he knew you were extra vulnerable in times like these. so, he’d bundle the both of you into a blanket burrito, and hide you from the world for a while. 
❥ wonwoo 
silently screaming, crying, throwing up. you are just as independent as he is, and sometimes he worries that you don’t consider him someone you can depend on or lean on. that’s why moments like these - when you are a bit more clingy and touchy, when you play with his hair a lot more, when you come waddling into his room with a blanket around you to sit beside him and watch him game - it reassures him that he does a good job as a boyfriend, and he tries his best to comfort you, without making you feel like you’re being weak for letting your guard for a bit. the biggest reward for him was when you fell asleep next to him while he was reading you a book in bed. 
❥ woozi 
in the past, woozi was a bit insecure about being the caregiver - he wasn’t sure he was the person you needed to baby you, or give you extra comfort and love. but after you made multiple threats, and changed his password to his studio, he kind of got the idea that yes, he was the person you needed. woozi secretly loved how you leaned on him from time to time, it gave him a peace of mind that you could rest a bit in his presence, and let go of your strong persona, and just be your adorable, little self. he always kept extra blankets in his studio in case you came pouting and asking for cuddles, so he could always have something to wrap around you and keep you warm. 
❥ dk 
endless cuddles incoming. once he notices that you want to be taken care of and babied, there is no way he’s going to let go of you. even if you’d want to get up for a glass of water, worry not, your puppy of a boyfriend would be right behind you, his (buff) arms wrapped securely around your waist, just in case you tried to get away from him. but he’d also understand that you usually acted like this when you were emotionally and physically tired, so he would make sure to talk to you, and comfort you in any way you needed (even though you insisted that cuddles were enough, he knew you were silently asking for a couple of kisses, and for him to sing to you, so you could finally rest without worry). 
❥ mingyu 
puppy nr. 2. the second he’d see you following him with a pout on your face, he’d know it was his time to put on his best husband act, and baby the shit out of you. he’d lift you up without saying anything (giggling in his mingoo giggles), carry you to the kitchen, place you on the counter, stand between your legs, playfully peck your lips, and get ready to make you your favourite ramyeon. mingyu would make a total fool out of himself just to make you laugh, because to him, as long as you were happy and smiling, it was all that mattered. after eating, he’d bundle you up in the most oversized hoodie he owned, wrap you up in a blanket, and put on a scary movie, just so he could cuddle you really, really, really close (his eyes were closed for the whole duration of the movie). 
❥ minghao 
cue in heart eyes. hao’s acts of service or physical touch were always low-key - you always knew he was there for you, but he didn’t push his love into other people’s faces. but, when you needed to be babied, when you needed that extra warmth and comfort form your boyfriend, minghao was always more happy than to turn into your personal teddy bear. he loved how independent you were, it made him so proud that you could take care of yourself, but at the same time it made him worry that you were draining yourself too much. that’s why when you needed to be babied, YOU WERE BABIED. whatever you’d ask for, he’d do it in an instant, no questions asked - it could be the most stupid thing and he’d do it with a smile on his face. 
❥ seungkwan 
mom mode activated. at first he’d get a bit worried that you were acting a lot more baby with him, letting him hug you without side eyeing him, or letting him squish your cheeks without you throwing a tantrum. but after he’d catch on to what was going on, seungkwan would make you sit at the dinner table while frantically looking through the cabinets searching for your favourite ramyeon. after making you some food, and not burning the house down, he’d take you out on a walk around the neighbourhood, your arms linked, while he rambled about all of the funny stuff that happened during practice, to take your mind off of your worries. when you were in baby mode, you and him were like two magnets - you could not be separated, and even if you were, you immediately found your way back to each other.     
❥ vernon 
first of all, it would make him feel so appreciated that you turned to him when you needed to be babied. vernon didn’t get to be the caregiver often, but whenever he’d notice that you needed a bit more comfort and love than usual, he’d try his best, because he wanted to be someone you could always depend on. you’d either do something very calming and relaxing like cuddle under a blanket and watch a movie, or if you were feeling more bold, you’d bake (which with vernon means one thing - a disaster). whatever you decided to do, vernon made sure to always stay by your side, his hand on you hip, because you in baby mode also required him to include a bit more of physical touch, which to be honest he was very grateful for, because usually he was too shy to initiate it himself.  
❥ chan 
he’s been waiting for this. i believe chan thrives off of being the caretaker, so he’d be prepared and ready - pillows stacked up on your bed, comforters to keep you warm, all of your favourite snacks and movies, and his arms to keep you close to his body through the whole night. because he didn’t get to baby you often, he’d make the most out of the times that it happened, and it would honestly make him so so happy that even though you’re this strong and independent person, you still allowed him to take care of you from time to time. he’d finally be able to thank you for all of the times that you had taken care of him.
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rillian4e · 6 months
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Are they dominant or submissive in bed?
ft& Childe, Wriothesley, Scaramouche, Neuvillette
Childe: For him, being the dominant one in bed is something he loves. Childe prefers being the one on top, doing the work while you lay there all pretty, taking it like the obedient girl he made you for him. That doesn't mean that he doesn't let you be the dominant one on occasion, he likes a challenge, be it testing his own limits or that of his partner. But most nights he is far too impatient for that, instead indulging his desires and rashiving you for himself. "Archons... you and your body—drives me crazy," whispering into your ear as he moaned shamelessly, before long releasing his fluids deep into your needy pussy. "Fuck—one more, baby, yeah?" one more would turn into two and then you both would lose count, knowing it would never really end up as only one more.
Wriothesley: As for the Duke of the fortress of Meropide, he is similiar to Childe except he is a patient man, he would let you be the dominant one, watching you struggle and end up pleading for him to help you which eventually turns into full-blown rough sex with him, just what you both needed. Wriothesley would adore taunting you when you try being dominant, it's in his nature to tease and all the more if it's his sweet lover, trying to switch things up in the bedroom. Most times it ends up with him, releasing his pent-up frustration on you, you gladly take it all—enjoying the way his fat length rams into your hole, the wet and squelcing noises filling his office. "Mm...are you close? Yes? Well, hold it, sweetheart. You don't deserve to cum yet, you need to earn it." Purposefully teasing you even as tears fill your eyes, the way he was pinching your nipples harshly not helping in the slightest.
Scaramouche: The dominant one. Nothing else needs to be said here, he doesn't like feeling vulnerable and having you be in charge, just feels so wrong to him. Due to him being a puppet, his stamina is insane and he isn't easy to please, so he would much rather be in control. He would have you spread out, legs wide open as he smirked at the sight of your pussy clenching around nothing. Normally he would tease you and make you beg but when he gets too impatient, he would simply enter you without any warning, adoring the way you moan in pain and pleasure at the stretch. "fuck...you're so tight—loosen up a little, will you?" His words wouldn't get any less mean, your fucked out expression only making him more turned on, his desire to make you break deepening.
Neuvillette: Sweetest man ever. He is fine with anything you want, you want to be on top? Your wish is his comman. You want him to be in charge? Of course. He would do anything for you, no matter how unreasonable of a request. You have him wrapped around your little finger, and you love it. Even when he has you in a mating press, ravishing your body and using you for his pleasure—which you absolutely love when he does. But on a typical day after completing the long piles of paperwork, he considers it a reward to have you bent over his desk, his big, fat cock fucking into your dripping cunt, that's the sweetest reward he could get. "You feel so warm...I didn't know I needed this, maybe I should have you as my reward like this more often, hm?" His sweet praises were music to your ears, telling you about how good you were doing for him. His soft groans and hot breath on your neck makes you all the more needy for him.
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audisive · 3 months
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♪ PRETTY WHEN YOU CRY.  sad girl alternative
౨ৎ simon 'ghost' riley | reader
synopsis: you've had a bad day, simon's there to fix it.
tags: comfort, crying, self-indulgent, fluff
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  Your head laid on the skin of his arm, your face pushed into the comfort of his chest. The sharp edges of your earrings – your favorite ones, he recalls – sank and dug into his skin meanly, but he couldn't care less. As disgusting as it sounds, it could not compare to the way his heart ached to protect your own when he hears you take sharp inhales just to exhale with a sob, sniffles occasionally there to accompany your weeping. It was anything but his priority with the way his arms tightened around you and the way he'd hoped it would be enough to ease your worries and take your pain away; pass it onto him if you must. Anything to make you feel better.
Oh, the things he'd be willing to but could not do to instead receive a painfully unfunny joke from you in the place of your sobs. He settles on wiping the tears off your face, knowing how it makes you feel when it dries and sticks to your skin uncomfortably. The small droplets were everywhere and increased with every passing minute, but he took the time to wipe them off one by one. Had you not been in agony, you would've been in awe at the way this gigantically scary man was being so gentle with you; it was one of the best reminders of how his heart belonged to you and how well he'd taken care of your own.
Simon holds you forever – at least that's what it feels like – and whispers sweet nothings into your ear to distract you, even just for a little bit. "'S fine," he reassures you, each word filled with promise and not an ounce of doubt. "You'll be okay, y'hear me? I got you." It's warm, and he still faintly smells of gun powder, mixed with the well-used cologne you'd bought him for his birthday last year. You don't pay any mind to the smell of tobacco lingering; you know it's not his.
You've long since learned – all thanks to him – to refrain from apologizing for your show of vulnerability and emotions. It leaves you guilty, still, eating you up at night with the knowledge of his uneasiness when it comes to emotions, but for him, nothing's better than learning to get over his fears with his one and only love. Love always makes us do things we don't want to, right?
His arms found the way to wrap themselves around you heavily like a weighted blanket hours ago and have continued to stay. It serves as a comfort for you, along with his words. In his sweater, his arms, his bed, his room. He's all you can see and all you can feel, but you're not complaining, and neither is he.
You calm down after a moment, letting your breathing grow steady while the wet spots of tears in his sweater dried up. Simon Riley hates to see you cry, but damn it if he can't be the one to comfort you.
"There's m' pretty girl," he whispers in that charmingly rough yet gentle voice of his, looking down at the way your lashes glisten with salty little tears when you find the strength to press your cheek to his chest instead of burying your face in the warm surface. "Feelin' better now, sweets?" He's so terribly sweet to and with you that you think you might cry again just because. You barely even nod, but you know he notices; he always does.
"Y'wanna talk about it?" His hand plants itself onto your back; it gives you a sense of stability. Everything about him is so large in a way that engulfs you whole, and it would terrify any sane person. Perhaps you aren't, not anymore, but you found the warmth and comfort of your home in him. He kisses your forehead without so much as a pause when you shake your head. "A'right, we'll jus' stay here, then."
And stay, you do, cuddled up against him. It doesn't take long before all the crying takes its toll on you, your head starts to hurt, and your eyelids start to give up. Before you know it, you're pulled into the deep depths of unconsciousness. It's too early into the night; you've skipped two meals, and you've worked yourself near death. You know full well that you'll wake up with a raging headache after crying yourself to sleep, too. You'll wake up too early in the morning; your muscles will be sore, and you're still starving. You might as well pass out immediately after waking up.
Still, you sleep at ease and without worry. Why would you not? Simon will be there to fix it. ♡
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  divider by @cafekitsune !
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walpu · 2 months
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hey, hey, I don't know how many times I've read your post "pre-relationship" especially aventurine part (omg i love how you write abt him 😭). I wonder how it will be once they are in a relationship and the kissing part please :3 thank u and have a nice day!
THANK YOUUUUU
Hope you'll enjoy this post too💛💛💛
being in a relationship with Aventurine
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characters - Aventurine notes - gn!reader, fluff, hurt/comfort (do I even write something other that hurt/comfort for him lmao), no beta
can be seen as a part 2 of this post but it can stan on it's own as well
Aventurine
It would take quite some time for Aventurine to move from the pre-relationship stage with you. Will dance around the subject, throwing hints and flirty remarks but as for making an actual move? Oof.
Would cling to your side and shamelessly say something like "aww, can't get enough of me? people may think we're dating <З unless that's what you want them to think haha"
Pathetic. /affectionally.
But seriously, he really wants to be sure that you like him before making a move. That you like him, not his money, not the idea of him. At least that's what he tells himself. And while this is part of the reason, the actual thing is that he's simply... confused. He's already more vulnerable around you than he ever was around anyone else. And dating means being even more vulnerable.
While he yearns for this genuine connection he's also a scared of it. Tim Kreider wrote the line "If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known" about him actually. Source: trust me bro.
It would take some time for him to get used to being in relationship. In the previous post I've mentioned that he, most likely, had some short flings in the past. I seriously doubt that he ever had any serious relationship before you though. It's so new to him. At first it would seem like nothing has changed between the two of you at all. Surprisingly, it looks like he even became a bit more distant.
Aventurine doesn't want to attract any unwanted attention to your relationship since it will only endanger you. Plus he doesn't want to overwhelm you. Plus he doesn't want to overwhelm himself. Plus he is scared shitless.
He can't help but feel that he looses everything he holds dear. After all, it's been like that for all of his life. And he simply can't loose you.
Mini spoiler for his leaked character story, but there is a moment there when he looks at the aventurine stone Diamond gave him and he realizes that despite the fact that he worked so hard for it, now that he has it, it holds no real value since it doesn't fill the emptiness inside of him. Logically, he knows that this won't happen with you. He loves you too much. But there's this subconscious fear inside of him that he's just so messed up inside that he simply would not be able to love you like you deserve.
Be patient with him, this mans doesn't know what he's doing. Don't give up on him and he'll crawl to your side, holding onto you for dear life.
Once he will calm down a bit, he'll make it up for all those times when you were the one reaching out to him. Texts you, calls you, arranges spontaneous dates.
In the beginning of relationship would spoil you with expensive gifts. He knows what it's like to have nothing so he doesn't want you to ever feel this way. And the best way to prevent it? To make sure that you will have anything and everything. Maybe it's a subconscious way to bribe you. Maybe. Not like he realizes it himself.
Once he'll feel more stable and more confident, his gift giving tendencies will get less overwhelming. He still like giving you gifts but now he picks and chooses. His sugar darling deserves only the best, after all.
Acts all clingy, playful and unserious but actually listens to your every word and is ready to fulfil your every need.
Is actually very caring. Shows his care by pestering you and easing you tho.
If you feel down, will sit stay by your side. May randomly start tickling you, if you're ticklish. If not, will find another way to touch you in a playful and somewhat annoying way. After you cheer up a bit, Aven will put his chin on your shoulder and hugs your waist, softly asking what happen and why is his dearest darling seems sad.
As for kisses. Aven will loooove covering your face with butterfly kisses. And not only your face. Will randomly grab your hand and kiss your knuckles and fingertips. If you've made a mistake of exposing your shoulder then be ready for it to be kissed endlessly.
Adores kissing those parts of your body that are usually covered with clothes. It feels fore intimate for him.
And if you have freckles or/and beauty marks. Oh well. Will trace them with his fingertips, connecting them with some invisible lines and sometimes gasp playfully, saying that he found his constellation. Just a silly little guy being a silly little guy.
So touch-starved it's unreal.
Has very mixed feeling about his tattoo being kissed. Would feel... weirs if you would kiss it during your casual cuddling session. He exposes it for the world to see, yes. But still, when it attracts attention of someone who knows the meaning behind it... Makes him a bit tense, it catches him off-guard. However, if you kiss it after a lovemaking session or when he shares some painful memories with you, he will feel reassured.
Will slowly start crawling out of his shell when he's with you. Before he only shared some brief memories of his past with you, now he'll start slowly opening up about other, much more painful stuff.
It still happens randomly and out of the blue. He remembers something, he tenses up. But now, instead of repressing this feelings, he shares them with you.
Don't push him too talk, he'll slowly open up on his own.
Loves waking up next to you. Especially if you're still asleep. Seeing the sun shining on your face fills him with love and tenderness. Only with you by his side he feels truly safe.
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hyperlexichypatia · 3 months
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This post reminded me of it, but my partner has observed that in contemporary gender discourse, maleness is so linked to adulthood and femaleness is so linked to childhood, that there are no "boys" or "women," only "men" and "girls."
This isn't exactly new -- for as long as patriarchy has existed, women have been infantilized, and "adult woman" has been treated as something of an oxymoron. Hegemonic beauty standards for women emphasize youthfulness, if not actual neoteny, and older women are considered "too old" to be attractive without ever quite being old enough to make their own decisions. There may be cultural allowances for the occasional older "wise woman," but a "wise woman" is always dangerously close to being a madwoman, or a witch. No matter how wise a woman is, she is never quite a rational agent. As Hanna K put it, "as a woman you're always either too young or too old for things, because the perfect age is when you're a man."
But the framing of underage boys as "men" has shifted, depending on popular conceptualizations of childhood and gender roles. Sometimes children of any gender are essentially feminized and grouped with women (the entire framing of "women and children" as a category). In the U.S. in the 21st century, the rise of men's rights and aggressively sexist ideology has correlated with an increased emphasis on little boys as "men" -- thus slogans like "Teach your son to be a man before his teacher teaches him to be a woman."
Of course, thanks to ageism and patriarchy (which literally means, not "rule by men," but "rule by fathers"), boys don't get any of the social benefits of being considered "men." They don't get to vote, make their own medical decisions, or have any of their own adult rights. They might have a little more childhood freedom than girls, if they're presumed to be sturdier and less vulnerable to "predators," but, for the most part, being considered "men" as young boys doesn't really get boys any more access to adult rights. What it does get them is aggressively gender-policed, often with violence. A little boy being "a man" means that he's not allowed to wear colors, have feelings, or experience the developmental stages of childhood.
This shifts in young adulthood, as boys forced into the role of "manhood" become actual men. As I've written about, I believe the trend of considering young adults "children" is harmful to everyone, but primarily to young women, young queer and trans people, and young disabled people. Abled, cisgender, heterosexual young men are rarely denied the rights and autonomy of adulthood due to "brain maturity."
What's particularly interesting is that, because transphobes misgender trans people as their birth-assigned genders, they constantly frame trans girls as "men" and trans men as "girls." A 10 year old trans girl on her elementary school soccer team is a "MAN using MAN STRENGTH on helpless GIRLS," while a 40 year old trans man is a "Poor confused little girl." Anyone assigned male at birth is born a scary, intimidating adult, while anyone female assigned at birth never becomes old enough to make xyr own decisions.
Feminist responses have also really fluctuated. Occasionally, feminists have played into the idea of little boys as "men," especially in trans-exclusionary rhetoric, or in one notorious case where members of a women's separatist compound were warned about "a man" who turned out to be a 6-month-old infant. There's periodic discourse around "Empowering our girls" or "Raising our boys with gentle masculinity," but for the most part, my problem with mainstream feminist rhetoric in general is that it tends to frame children solely as a labor imposed on women by men, not as subjects (and specifically, as an oppressed class) at all.
Second-wave feminists pushed back hard on calling adult women "girls" -- but they didn't necessarily view "women" as capable of autonomous decision-making, either. Adult women were women, but they might still need to be protected from their own false consciousness. As laws in the U.S., around medical privacy and autonomy, like HIPAA, started more firmly linking the concepts of autonomy with legal adulthood, and fixing the age of majority at 18, third-wave feminists embraced referring to women as "girls." Sometimes this was in an intentionally empowering way ("girl power," "girl boss"), which also served to shield women (mostly white, mostly bourgeois/wealthy) from criticism of their participation in racism and capitalism. But it also served to reinforce the narrative of women as "girls" needing to be protected from "men" (and their own choices).
I'm still hoping for a feminist politic that is pro-child, pro-youth, pro-disability, pro-autonomy, pro-equality, that rejects the infantilization of women, the adultification of boys, the objectification of children, the misgendering of trans people, and the imposition of gender roles.
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daisybvck · 4 months
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𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙩 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨
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𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 : Bucky Barnes x reader
𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 : Your superior agent Bucky Barnes just wants the best for you, right ?
𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 : 18+, smut, Bucky Barnes as a fucking whole, dubcon/noncon, cockwarming, manipulation, praise
₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊
Bucky had invented a way to manipulate you into fucking him. And honestly; he was pretty proud of himself. When he approached you last week and offered some one-on-one training, you jumped at the chance. No one else is able to perform domain expansions like him, who were you to turn down additional support? You'd do anything to get ahead in your training, and the better you were, the better help you'd be in the field
You were grateful, albeit a little confused when he didn't invite you out to go into the compound gym Instead, he drove you to his apartment.
But that's okay... Right?
He probably has tools and things here he needs to get before he heads out. Although you've never actually seen him use anything besides that blunt butterfly knife. That's okay too, just because he doesn't use any other weapon isn't to say he doesn't have others. It's the only logical explanation as to why you were in his apartment right now. He was finding a spare tool just for you!
Alas, that suspicion was dashed as you watched Bucky remove his tie, calmly. Before you could ask what he was doing, he tied the silk accessory around your neck. You would have objected; but you were just totally lost for words at what was happening. When there was a secure knot around your neck, he tugged you closer to him.
₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊
Please remove your clothes... Slowly." he demanded. He backed away to form a gap between you both. He wanted to see you do as you were instructed and enjoy the display. He began unbuttoning the top button his dress shirt.
"I don't_"
"Speak up if you have something to say he interjected, insulting your whispering tone. You couldn't help it. Your throat practically closed all on its own.
"I don't- why are you- how is this going to help?" you stuttered. His vision sharpened in on you. The stuttering displeased him, immensely. “I'm just not sure how removing our clothes is going to make me a better sorcerer.”
"Are you questioning me?"
"No! I just-" you choked as you found yourself being dragged closer to the blonde man before you once again.
He looked down sternly into your eyes, his lips in a tight line as he planned his next words. You knew he was preparing to chew you out. But what he was actually doing was attempting to come up with a plausible lie to manipulate you into thinking this is acceptable conduct from a superior.
"The avengers are all about endurance. Whoever has the weakest will to go on, less energy to fight, will lose. This is to help you. But if you're too selfish-” he trailed off, knowing the idle threat of removing the opportunity from you would have you at his beck and call.
“I’m not selfish! 'm sorry Bucky, just didn't understand!”
“Please... Please help me. I'm so grateful, promise." you whimpered pathetically. You even began to remove your clothing for him, just as he'd asked. Better late than never, he supposes.
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He joins you in continuing to take off more articles of clothing. He's satisfied with the speed you find yourself naked. While shirtless, he pauses to inspect your body.
He has waited an awfully long time to see you like this. In this vulnerable, intimate state. And you're too dense to realise it's all a rouse. But he'll never tell, and he's sure you'll keep it secret too. God forbid any of the others discover his sick little plan. If you're both careful, both smart about this, you could probably do this forever. You feel a little embarrassed under his harsh gaze, using your arms to cover whatever intimate areas as best you can.
He tuts once and shakes his head.
"Don't do that. You have a fine body, beautiful in fact." he admits. You don't really want to uncover yourself, but you do as he asks regardless. He raises his index finger, whistling as he spins it through the air. You obey his speechless command and spin around. You're unsure if he wants you to do a 360° or 180°.
"Stop." he speaks while your back is facing him.
He comes up behind you, palming his hands over the flesh of your right cheek. He knows you're only doing it because you're uncomfortable, but he's revelling in the way you're squirming around under his touch.
Has it been a while for you, perhaps? Just as it had been quite some time for him? You yip as you feel his palm collide with your soft flesh.
"I want you to remove my trousers and underwear for me.” he informs you. You're spun around to be facing him, and soon he's pressing down on your shoulders, indicating that he wants you on your knees. He doesn't mind that you are fumbling and taking too long. He knows this is a lot for you to handle out of the blue. He can see in the way your whole body shakes that you're terrified, but he'll be gentle with you - mostly.
Finally his member springs free and thumps against his chiselled body. Even he cracks a little smile on that serious expression when he notices your eyes bulge in fascination. The little patches of drool forming in the corner of your mouth don't go unnoticed either.
It's so pretty. The prettiest you've ever seen. If Nanami didn't know any better, he'd thinking you were falling in love. He couldn't believe you were genuinely salivating over his dick like this. What else were you meant to do?
The tip was pink and pretty, the type of pink that makes you feel giddy. The head wasn't particularly large, but the slit was delectable, too. A gorgeous hole that you wanted nothing more than to tease with your tongue. And it was already leaking for you. So pearly and drippy. The length was admirable, too. It was a just perfect girth; and not too veiny. Two distinct veins ran along the underside his his length.
You couldn't take it anymore. You had to have it, to taste it. But before you could swallow him up, he yanked on your makeshift leash and tugged you away from his erection.
"Not today.
"But-"
"This is business, not pleasure, remember?" he reminded you. You nodded, dumbly. How could you be so stupid? It was so amusing to him. His sweet, naïve girl. “When I sit down, you're going to sink yourself down onto me." he instructed. You squinted at him in confusion, it seemed like an over explanatory way of saying he wanted to have sex with you.
"You want me to ride you." It's a statement, not a question. Because that is what it sounds like he wants, but he shakes his head. What a silly girl you are. There's more to life than fucking.
"I just want your cunt wrapped around me."
Your knees were either side of his thighs as your pussy enveloped his desperate, wanting cock. It shocked you that Bucky was such a gentle kisser, very sweet and tender. Even as he moved from your lips to other parts of your body, he was never rough with you. Featherlight kisses worked down to your neck, your shoulders, and eventually the soft flesh of your breasts.
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This is the extent of your encounter, this is all you'd been doing with him for the last half an hour. His lips and wet tongue felt perfect around your protruding nipples; but now it was nowhere near close to enough. You were so full, full of him, and yet there was no relief. His cock head was nuzzled snuggly in your cunt. It would be so easy for him to fuck up into you, granting both the release you desperately craved. But he had forbade it. He stilled your attempt at riding him by digging his fingers into your hips and slamming you back down in place.
"Sit still for me sweetheart.?
"'s too hard! Too hard Bucky!"
It was embarrassing. Wriggling around in his lap like a desperate virgin. It was out of your control now. Your cunt was soaking wet because of him and he could feel the way your sopping walls clenched around him. Even he has to admit that he can barely hold himself back anymore.
"You're never going to reach my level if you can't endure.
A little pathetic aren't you, hm?" he taunts. It's mean an unnecessary, but it's all part of a larger scheme. If you feel like you've failed, you'll be desperate to do it again and prove him wrong. And he can keep up this charade for as long as he can get away with.
"I- I can't! James please, I can't wait any longer. Fuck me! I need it, need it s'bad!" you are nearly screaming as you beg and plead with him to make your dreams a reality. He hushes you as he repositions himself ever so slightly. He needs to get a more comfortable angle if he wants you to see what he's truly capable of. Bucky kisses the shell of your ear a few times and coos. He's going to make it better, he's going to make you feel better.
"So obedient for me angel, aren't you?" he whispers to you, bouncing you lightly on the length of his cock. It's not enough, you know it and he knows it. He's just getting started. He picks up the pace as he aligns his mouth to whisper into your ear once again. "You're such a good girl when you're begging for cock. the vibrations of his voice traverse directly into your ear and make you shudder. He grunts harshly as his whispering results in your cunt clamping him in a vice grip once again.
"Wanna be a good girl... Wanna be a good agent!" you explain. He shushes you again and praises you for your determination. His thumbs are put to use when tears spill from your eyes; the pleasure of his cock finally pleasing you feeling so heavenly and so intense all in one.
"Good girls... Good agents can endure their training”
“Good girls aren't desperate to get fucked by their superiors." he hums. He does feel a little guilty. He's chastising you for no good reason, after all. He wanted
this just as much as you did - if not more so, in fact. But the way you sniffle at his words dashes any guilt he felt.
You really are a good girl.
“sorry B-Bucky. I'II do- I'II do better n-next time!”
“Promise!" you stutter, hoping to get your point across.
You know you're understood when his index finger and thumb find your chin, tilting your face to his. His lips meet yours in another sweet, delicate kiss.
"Ah, yes." he begins, "Clever girl. Next time."
435 notes · View notes
secretwritingspot · 5 months
Text
Sleepless Nights - Rough Ending
Pairing: OPLA Sanji x Reader
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Rating/Content Warnings: R/X/18+, whatever you wanna call it this is FILTH. Reader is stated a woman in this (AFAB + words like "women" and "girl" used) so keep that in mind if it messes with dysphoria at all for you, and feminine descriptors are used. Maybe some somnophilia if you squint (since the whole premise is being fucked to sleep lmfao) but other than that it's pretty straightforward rough smut. Oh and unprotected sex. Wrap it before you tap it, freaks <3
Summary: the "rough" ending to Sleepless Nights, Sanji puts the reader to sleep...less gently.
Disclaimer(s): ...a little soft OKAY HEAR ME OUT- sex-wise, absolutely rough and filthy. As promised. However this is Sanji we're talking about, inventor of romance and only man ever. So there are a few soft bits (esp. at the end) but trust me, it's still plenty rough. You'll see.
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"...I'll put you to sleep, love, on one condition," He coos, his voice a mix of sympathy and amusement as he strokes your cheek with a smirk.
"Anything."
You don't even think before speaking, desperate to sleep, to be touched, to be able to think clearly again once the fog of arousal and exhaustion clears from your mind.
And, well...hearing you say that to him in that breathy, desperate sort of voice- it does things to him.
He chuckles and grabs your chin lightly, touch firm despite its gentleness, and tilts your head up to look at him, leaning closer to study your face. He loves that you're this vulnerable in the moment. How he's got a clear advantage. His eyes sparkle as he leans in close to you, voice low and demanding.
"I'm in charge. If I tell you to jump, you ask how high. Got it?"
Your face flushes a brilliant pink at his words and your lips part softly in surprise, eyes widening a fraction as you look at him. He really- he wants- him? Despite your embarrassment, something about his gaze demands eye contact, and you can't make yourself look away. You swallow thickly, searching his face for any sign of joking and finding none. Slightly dazed, you nod your head.
His smirk only grows at the response as he seems to relish this moment. The way it feels when you're so vulnerable and trusting, the way your pretty eyes meet his, it's perfect.
He's going to enjoy this.
He leans forward until he's only inches from your face, his breath hot on your skin as he speaks with a whisper.
"Good. Be a good girl and get on the counter. Now."
Your skin only flushes further as you nod, not really able to do anything other than agree. Sanji is usually so...Sanji - doting, gentle, a bit of a pushover - but this, this is not that. This Sanji is practiced and precise, put together, in charge. This Sanji has no reservations about giving you what you want, fucking you so hard you pass out.
The unexpected sternness of it flicks a sort of switch in your brain and you obey instinctively, hopping up onto the kitchen counter behind you and looking to Sanji with wide eyes and a warm flush, as if waiting for him to tell you what to do next.
He watches you, grinning as you willingly hop up onto the counter. You look so soft and adorable. So innocent. He'll fix that.
"Spread your legs." He commands, leaning in close and taking a deep breath, the scent of your skin spreading throughout his every pore. His tone is low and husky, voice taking on a slightly more intimidating timbre. "Keep your arms by your sides," He instructs, slowly running his hand along your side and down to your hip, where it takes a firm grip.
You gasp softly when he doesn't even wait for you to comply, instead gripping your thighs firmly and pushing them open himself so he can stand between your legs. His tone leaves no room for debate and you find that your hands stay at your sides instinctively, firmly planted on the counter. He really didn't think you'd be the type to follow directions, but it's a pleasant surprise. The new position is better for access to you in every sense, but it also provides him with a better view. With your legs spread like that he can see your panties- soft, white lace. He nearly groans at the sight, because of course the most innocent fucking person on board would wear lace, of course you would.
He's never been happier about a cliche in his life.
He lets his eyes wander with a smirk, the blatant heat of his gaze making you flush in a mix of embarrassment and lust. He can't help but admire you, his grin growing a little wider and his eyes narrowing as he takes in the sight.
"So innocent," He mutters teasingly, "and yet..."
Your breath hitches sharply when he leans forward and traces two of his fingers over the moist patch of your panties teasingly, amused at how wet you already are. You can't do much else but grip the edge of the counter tightly, knuckles white as you try to keep your hands at your sides and to yourself like he instructed.
He won't deny that he finds your struggle entertaining, trailing his fingers all the way up your body from your panties, up between your breasts, over your throat, and eventually to your face, grabbing your jaw firmly.
His touch on your face is unexpectedly harsh, though you can tell it's calculated just enough to not hurt you, and he tilts your head back towards him slowly, his other replacing the first to tease you over your panties.
"Such a cute little thing you are..." He whispers, leaning in close so you can feel the heat of his breath on your face as he speaks.
"Open." He commands lowly, tightening his grip on your jaw just just enough to make a point.
Your eyes widen in surprise but you obey, opening your mouth. He wastes no time before harshly pushing two of his fingers past your lips, pressing down on your tongue in little circles. He's a gentleman, after all- he's not going to try to open you up without something to lubricate his fingers better.
He grins as you open, and he can't help but admire at your willingness to trust. You're truly just a good girl beneath that innocent exterior. Your mouth feels so soft and inviting. Your face shows such innocence even now, but your eyes betray you as he slides his fingers into your mouth, and he can see the raw lust in your eyes. He can't help but smirk at you, how perfect you look like this, all doe-eyed and obedient. He's going to enjoy this, his words a pleased hiss.
"God, just like that, sweetheart. Look at you, so eager to drool all over my fingers. Christ, you're perfect."
You whine at the vulgar words, flushing a pretty pink that extends to your ears. The sound is muffled but he can feel your throat vibrate around his fingers and good god, that's hot.
There's no warning before he pushes you flat onto your back until it's flush with the counter, the movement firm and quick and almost harsh if it weren't for the hand he places behind your head protectively to keep you from hitting the counter too hard.
"Good girl. So, so good. Stay right there, sweetheart," He murmurs softly, his lips close to your ear as he speaks in a soft, gentle voice.
It's a dizzying contrast from his actions.
As soon as you're laid out on the counter, flat on your back with your legs spread, Sanji's grin grows wider. His other hand, the one that was holding your head in place, moves down towards your chest.
You gasp in surprise when he pushes you down and immediately starts to grasp at your tits, so desperate he doesn't even take your shirt off, groping you through the fabric. His other hand, the one with his fingers still in your mouth, pulls out to shove your panties out of the way frantically and run his now wet fingers up your slit. The sudden feeling makes you gasp and you grasp tightly at his shoulder.
He can't help but groan softly at the feeling, clearly enjoying the sensation of your nails pressing into his shoulders, the suit stopping them from digging in too much.
"Christ, the wetness, sweetheart. You're so wet," he whispers, moving his hand up your shirt to start pulling it up, his other hand still on your neck to keep you pinned down.
As if the filthy words weren't enough on their own, he's purring them directly into your ear, nipping at the lobe and your neck as if he can't help himself, a hidden sort of desperation you're sure matches yours, even if he won't show it.
"Sanji-"
You can't do much else but whine, face going pink as your eyes squeeze shut. Your breath hitches in your throat and his teeth are everywhere- finding your ear, your neck, your jaw while his other hand doesn't hesitate before shoving two of his fingers into you. He grips your neck just a little bit tighter to keep you in place as he starts to whisper into your ear again, his tone low and hushed.
"Does it feel good, love?" He asks in a quiet growl, his tone low and predatory. He keeps moving his hand along your body, the other setting a harsh pace of thrusting into you, no buildup as he hammers his fingers insistently into your sweet spot.
"Tell me how it feels."
"Perfe- ah- perfect, Sanji, it's-"
You ramble in response, words interrupted by gasps as you cling to his shoulder, fists clenching and unclenching on repeat as you try to process all the sensations he's forcing out of you.
"Feels- feels s' good-"
"Is that right, sweetheart? You like the way this feels?" He asks, his voice now low, a harsh whisper, tone dripping with lust as his fingers thrust insistently into you. He leans down and nips at your neck again, harder this time, before whispering into your ear again. "Christ, you're a loud one, aren't you? I have other tricks up my sleeve, too. Would you like to see them?"
You can't do much else but nod with a whimper, eyes squeezed shut as you cling to him. Everything feels intense and heady and your lower belly feels like it's on fire. Ordinarily you would flush pink with embarrassment when he mentions being loud, but you're too overwhelmed to focus on it much right now.
With his wandering hand, he grabs your chin and tilts your head back to look at him, expression wild and predatory as he leans closer.
"Good girl. Then stay with me, sweetheart. Until I'm done with you."
You nod your head wordlessly as he pulls his fingers out of you to unbuckle his belt, chuckling darkly in amusement at the way the loss makes you whine, clinging to his shirt needily.
That's another thing about this he likes, he's decided- there's a strange power in having you like this, completely bare and exposed save for a thin t-shirt while he's fully clothed, suit still pristine.
"Aww, what's the matter, sweetheart? Did you not want me to pull out?"
He coos, his smirk growing wider as you cling to him, his fingers running softly along your neck once again. "So cute. I guess that's my fault. Don't worry love, I'll fill you back up real soon."
"Please-"
Your voice is somewhere between a whine and a sob at this point, squeezing your eyes shut. Your breath comes in rushed gasps and your words aren't much better, quick and desperate.
"Sanji please, I need you to- please-"
He grins when you beg, finding it so adorable. You're such a sweetheart, and when a woman like you ask so nicely it's hard to say no. Besides, he's been eager for this moment since the first second he laid eyes on you.
"What do you need, sweet thing? Use your words."
You don't even hesitate this time, tripping over your words immediately. You need this, need him, need sleep, need something you can't even place anymore until all you know is that you need.
"Fuck me, Sanji, please just- please."
You beg, words an almost incoherent mumble. You're too far gone to care that you're begging, that it's needy, that you sound pathetic right now. You just need him to get on with it, give you what you want. And god, is he more than happy to, shoving his trousers down past his thighs as quickly as he can physically manage.
"God, you're such a sweetheart." He groans in response, his grip on your chin tightening as his eyes roll back at the words, and he leans in close to press his lips against yours, his free hand still holding you down as he kisses you.
It's rough and desperate and messy, all teeth and lips and tongue, biting and nipping and sucking like he's curious, shoving his tongue into your mouth like he's exploring- all of it with a sort of feverish fervor that betrays that you're not the only needy one here.
"I'm going to destroy you..." He promises as he pulls away, biting at your bottom lip one last time as he lines up and pushes himself into you.
"Ah-!"
It's one, fluid moment- no pauses to adjust, no time, no slow prep or sweet words like you'd expect from someone like Sanji. It steals the breath from your lungs and cuts you off with a strangled gasp, the sudden stretch making you whimper as you cling to him, nails digging into his forearms through the fabric of his suit as you desperately try to ground yourself.
"God yes, love, you're so tight, and those noises..."
He groans into your lips, fingers stroking along your neck gently as he speaks, despite the power behind his touch still holding you down. He looks down at you lovingly as he leans in to peck your lips softly, a small moment of the gentleness you're accustomed to from him.
"You're amazing, sweetheart. Beautiful. You're mine. You know that, right?"
You nod your head emphatically as even his sweet words aren't interrupting the rough pace that he fucks into you, still mumbling praises and mindless babbling pleasure as his cock bullies your insides.
"Yo-urs, yours, always yours, promise-"
You gasp when his hand suddenly goes to push you back down until you're lying flat on the counter, giving him a better angle to pull out experimentally before pistoning his hips back into you, hard.
"That's a good girl. You're mine, angel. Completely. Do you understand? I own you." He murmurs softly, his grip tightening slightly on your neck.
You just nod, seeing stars from the angle, the immediate speed and harshness to his pace- this is the last thing you'd ever expect from him, but it's exactly what you need, you need him to keep going until your brain leaks out from your ears and you finally, finally pass out and get the rest you need.
He slows his movements to a halt with a sudden look of concern on his face, both hands moving to cup your cheeks and wipe away the wetness there - when had you started crying?
"Hey hey hey, love, are you okay? I need you to stay with me, sweetheart. I need you to stay conscious for me."
He starts to worry that he's doing too much, pushing you too far. He needs to make sure you're still coherent enough after this to tell him what you're thinking.
Needs to know you're still okay.
Still, as well-intentioned as his actions are, they're the opposite of helpful. You whine pitifully when he slows down, new tears of desperation starting to prick at the corners of your eyes.
He's so damn thoughtful, and it's perfect, and you love that he stops to ask, but right now it's so frustrating you just want to scream.
"No- nonono please, Sanji please, please keep going, 'm okay, please-"
Your words are a rambling whine, begging as you blink your eyes back open to look up at him, big and pleading as you try to make him understand how desperate you are for this.
"Wan' you to knock me out, Sanji, please. Put me to sleep."
As soon as he sees the fresh tears his expression softens, pouting at you with adoring concern and stroking your cheeks softly with the pads of his thumbs.
"You're sure?" He asks gently, voice intentionally soft and whisper-quiet. "Are you completely sure that's what you want, sweet thing? I'd hate to hurt you more than you can take."
In the small moment of respite, you feel a soft smile blossom on your face at his words.
Just the phrasing of it - "more than you can take" - it's an acknowledgement. An acknowledgement that even like this, he knows how strong you are. Knows that, to an extent, you can take being hurt. Maybe not all he could give you, maybe not all the time, but the acknowledgement of your toughness is there and it makes something warm flutter in your chest.
"I can take a lot more than you'd think," you reassure him eventually, a soft whisper that's all the answer Sanji needs.
Though the words aren't exact, the meaning is obvious- 'I can take it'. You truly want him to fuck you unconscious, make sure you sleep soundly for at least the next 12 hours.
The trust in it makes his heart swell and his lips pull back into a smile, starting to understand what it is you so desperately want. He's not going to do any damage, would outright refuse to do anything that might seriously hurt you, but if you want it rough then that's what you'll get.
"Alright, sweetheart," he reassures softly, his hands wiping the last stray tears from your cheeks before they resume their initial position, holding you down with one on your hip and one on your throat. "You'll be out soon. Just close your eyes, angel."
You nod your head, shooting him a quick look of thankfulness before closing your eyes, letting him hold you down as he sets a punishing pace with his hips, drilling into you as hard as he can manage. Fresh tears trail down your face as you grasp at his suit, whimpers getting more breathy and desperate by the second as you babble.
"Sa-sanji-"
"Oh, sweetheart. So fucking gorgeous when you cry..." He whispers in a harsh growl, voice dripping with lust as he continues on his pace, holding you down while he pounds you into submission.
With his other hand, he reaches down to toy with your clit, swiping quick circles over the bundle of nerves. It feels like he's shooting lightning directly into your veins and it's not long before you cry out, digging your nails into his suit jacket as you tighten around him. It's like nothing he's ever felt before, perfect in every way as you come around him. He keeps pounding into you, both to chase his own release and because he intends on keeping his promise- he's not stopping until you pass out.
"Oh god, sweetheart, you're about to make me lose it." He groans, a desperate and almost animalistic sound that betrays how close he is.
Everything comes to you in waves as your mind starts going blurry around the edges. You know that you finished, that Sanji keeps going, whispering something to you (you're too far gone to have any idea what, but the assumption of how filthy it probably is is enough), but he's still going, not just with his thrusts but with his fingers abusing your core and suddenly you're coming around him again, or at least you think you are.
You're not sure of much at all anymore.
The past 48 hours all seem to hit you at once, exhaustion like nothing you've ever felt before. Your mind clears to an almost normal state and then fizzles out again in waves, coming back for a few seconds only to fade before you can catch it enough to put together a coherent thought. You're not sure if you're still making noise at this point, but if you are you're sure it's completely gibberish, nothing but teary babbling.
"There it is, sweetheart. You've got nothing left in you now, do you? That's a good girl. You're so perfect, love." He coos sweetly, almost apologetically as he comforts you through his continued abuse of your cunt, now desperately chasing his own relief.
"So beautiful," He murmurs quietly, almost to himself, nuzzling his lips into your throat in a show of tender desperation as he continues his praise like it's an instinct.
The last things you remember feeling are him nuzzling the side of your neck as his hips twitch and falter in their rhythm, and then an explosive warmth. Warmth flooding every inch of your insides as he stalls and stays inside you while he finishes. Wether it's overstimulation or some odd kind of comfort it's that that does you in, and everything goes hazy as the world around you fades to black.
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When you wake up the next morning-
(actually, you wake up at 2 in the afternoon)
-it's not in your bed.
But for what it's worth, it's not on the counter, either. And it's warm. The space between your legs suspiciously clean, the sheets tucked up to your shoulders, your hair distinctly less greasy than you remember it being.
When you wake up the next morning, there's Advil and a glass of water on the nightstand, a pair of your lounge clothes folded neatly on a chair by the desk. One of your stuffed animals has been (lovingly) kidnapped from your room, and now rests right next to you in this bed that is not yours, the only other occupying force on the nightstand a scribbled note that you're sure is emphatically apologetic for leaving you. The sheets are far too expensive and the pillow smells like cologne.
It's the best sleep you've had in your life.
713 notes · View notes
drdemonprince · 12 days
Note
The article regarding about annoying queer people sparked a by now long forgotten memory.
When I went to my first pride I snuck out secretly and thus was there after the parade. Most people were already some form of drunk or high(didn't know that at the time, I was 15 and naive beyond hope)
That was also the first time I saw puppies ever. In retrospect I must have stared and seemed like one of those annoying "no kink at pride" puriteens. They probably just wanted to allow themselves a small joke but what happened in praxis was, that a grown, white man in only puppy mask and boxers crawled up to me, stood up, started sniffing my breasts and when I started panicking and running away he run after me and everyone else watched and laughed. I think I screamed for help or cryed to please leave me be and was ignored but I can't remember much past the fear.
To them it was probably a small joke but to me it set me back for years. I didn't go to pride in that city ever again and took years to move past "no kink at pride" opinions, an opinion I didn't even have before that.
I felt incredibly isolated and wearing a small rainbow bracelet and cutting my hair took so much bravery. And it earned a lot of backlash too?
So often I see coloured hair and pins as this cutesy cringe thing of no consequence, but for me it resulted in hours upon of arguments and insults. It was worth it, because it helped me built my own identity apart from my families bigotry, but it sure wasn't fun or cutesy. Ultimately it led me to becoming brave enough to actually discover who I am and start making connections with the wider queer community.
Thankfully I had no social media accounts or I would have had some truly stupid arguments.
What I'm saying is, yes young queers can be annoying and it can be tiring to deal with them but being an asshole and vilifying them isn't the solution.
Making fun of teenagers doesn't make yourself more valid and doesn't give you the status of being an old experienced queer.
I'm saying teenagers here but the fun thing about queer people is that we can discover ourselves at any point in time. So it's less teenagers and more people newly discovering themselves as queer.
I get how annoying they can be very well now, doing voluntary work at pride does that.
Do many of those we consider annoying queers hold some harmful opinions? Yeah sure. (The amount of white queers, teens or adults, not dealing with systemic oppression beyond their own is staggering and they more than deserve to be called out. Just to be very clear, when I talk about annoying behaviour I do NOT mean microagressions or discrimination in any way)
But annoying behaviour is not synonymous to that and maybe we should all just start being less mean in public spaces? I get how satisfying it can be to get a hit tweet via a bitchy twitter reply now, but quite honestly I am more ashamed of that now than when I was running around in hoodies and short hair being painfully naive.
Because then I wasn't being mean to anyone. I had some stupid takes sure but no outlet. On twitter I was making fun of people to validate my own queer-ness. (Personally I think I was covering up for the fact that I was afraid the queer people I worked so hard to be part of wouldn't consider me one of their own. So I worked hard to show how I'm not one of "those queers".)
Either way, thanks for reading all this and thank you for sharing the article because it is something I strongly agree with. Just let people be annoying without making fun of them for it. It doesn't need to be a big deal.
Thank you for this wonderful, vulnerable, honest message about your slow path to self-acceptance in the face of a lot of barriers, anon. I'm glad that despite everything you've found your way.
Yeah, I think queer people have many reasons to feel terrified at the rising "no kink at pride" discourse, but sometimes when we lash out at puriteens we sound a bit like the childfree people who say that they hate kids?? Like, we're blaming literal children for an ideology of protecting "The Family" that has been foisted upon us.
I'm guilty of it. I was HAUNTED by the social pressure to get married and pregnant and raise a bunch of kids. It caused me massive dysphoria and didn't jibe with my queer identity. But I rebelled against it for far too long by saying that I hated kids.
It was not the kids' fault! It was the ideological specter of The Family as an institution that isolates and attacks all nonconformity and 'deviant' sexuality! Me being an asshole to children was not gonna set me free, kids were even more disinfranchised than I was!! I don't think I was ever overtly cruel to children, just kind of aloof and freaked out by them, but I definitely *did* say some numbskulled shit to my friends with kids a few times. Completely missing how disempowered mothers (and it was usually mothers) are in society BECAUSE of these same forces .
And I think something similar is going on here. Queer people are tired of having "Family Friendliness" shoved down our throats by corporations and conservatives, and so then we lash out... at young queer people. it's fine to have 18+ areas and events; It's very, very important to me that spaces like Furfest have them. But that's not the same thing as claiming young people have no space in our community as a whole. And I do think we need to erode the barriers between the adult and child worlds in a whole lot of ways, and reorient our attitudes toward nudity, sexuality, roleplaying, etc in public life. but that also doesn't mean a pup should run you out of a pride parade actually fucking sexually harassing you.
It feels great to be able to talk about this stuff! Thanks for your message.
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something that makes sokka extremely adhd relatable is that he's constantly looking for his Thing, the one Thing he's good at or useful for that makes up for any failings or flaws or ways he just can't measure up to others. at the beginning of the show he defines himself by being the oldest boy in the village & best warrior, but then he gets his ass kicked by zuko and suki and sees aang's raw power and he can't exactly think fighting is his special skill anymore. but he still thinks he has to be defined by fighting ('man of the house' daddy issues) so he calls himself the guy with the boomerang bc that's turned out to be his most useful and versatile and unique weapon, the one that other people can't outclass him at (after all, it's his most successful attack in his fight with zuko). when he loses it in "avatar day" he explicitly says it's like losing a key part of his identity and the moment katara goes "hey you're good at solving mysteries" he's like "yeah! i'm a detective! that's my new thing! and gets a new set of objects to signify it ("i believe in the power of stuff"). but detective sokka doesn't last bc throughout the entire episode he and katara are pretty equally matched in detective skills and he gets his boomerang back anyway. failed experiment.
and throughout all of this, he's figured out that people find his insistance on getting them fed & his grumpy comments funny and so he begins defining himself as the meat and sarcasm guy, and when he's a tough spot in "bitter work", bargaining with the universe to get him help, he offers that up as all he's got to give. it's obviously a Joke that he immediately asks for meat after telling the universe he'll give it up but it's also pretty indicative of how much he clings to these identities. it's all he's got (he thinks), of COURSE he can't actually give it up. they stuck that boy in a hole for 22 minutes and it revealed so much about how he sees himself.
at some point (likely around "the library" when he takes initiative to come up with a fire nation invasion plan) he also becomes the plan guy, the idea guy, and the gaang find themselves looking to him for leadership. this is perhaps the closest to fully encompassing sokka that any of his "[blank] guy" labels get, since coming up with plans involves planning when and how to fight (boomerang guy) & how to get everyone fed (meat), and people not following his plans is a major source of frustration (sarcasm).
this all culminates in "sokka's master", where the show finally names the underlying insecurity driving this quest - that he's a nonbender. katara being the last waterbender meant she was in danger and that keeping her safe was top priority, and even though hakoda and kya wouldn't have played favorites sokka probably felt a little like the unfavorite child for not being special like her. he lacks an ability, and believes his life has less value bc of it. almost like somebody with a disability and internalized ableism
(interesting, one of the people who most consistently mocks sokka for being a nonbender is toph, early on. toph has a lot of internalized ableism herself, a fear of vulnerability bc she doesn't want to perceived as weak like her parents thought she was. her bending is her disability aid, the thing that allows her to be stronger than people think, so she dismisses a nonbender until she learns better.)
piandao's response to sokka's lack of self-worth is not to train him to be great at one thing, but to introduce him to a variety of different arts, show him that his value lies not in having any one skill but in his capacity to learn and grow. there's no single thing that makes him worthy. it isn't even the combination of all of them that makes him worthy. he simply is worthy.
and i don't know if this is a unique narrative in fiction or anything but it really means a lot to me that sokka doesn't have One Thing that "makes up" for him not being a bender. he's of course extremely skilled and prodigious at many things he does in the show but there's no one savant talent that "justifies" him being in the group and i feel like so many disability narratives - especially for kids - go that route and i really appreciate that atla doesn't and simply says people are valuable because they are valuable, not because of their special abilities
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xo-cod · 7 months
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omg more soft Simon pls😭💗 maybe sth with a highly sensitive reader sfw or nsfw whatever works for u... luv ur blog💖
thank you sm lovie :") this is sfw! sorry i got to this so late 😩🤍
dangerous love
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"don't make me say it. i can't say the words"
rolling your eyes, you sit on the lap of your beloved lieutenant. the usual firm and stoic ghost has been left at the door, here he's become so affectionate and clingy, the way you adored it. here, he's simon. his calloused hands are wandering, trying to memorise every part on your skin. even though every nook and cranny is burned into his memory, mapped out exactly where and how to caress your body to get you into a whimpering mess.
"i think that's a lie, i think you can say those words simon riley" accentuating his name elicits a small groan from his lips, how he adores it when you take charge and command him. it brings a side of him he doesn't usually feel safe to show others. but you're so different. so warm and comforting, it just naturally comes out, spilling everywhere before he can even comprehend
you're so close to him, your fingers running though his blonde soft hair scratching gently on his scalp. and he relishes in it, his eyes closing out of habit. he can't help but rock underneath you, hoping you'd forget and immerse yourself in pleasure only he can provide you
but tonight, you were on a mission. and certainly not one to settle for any less so you move back but he grumbles a little, his hold on your waist tightening so that you're back close to him. he can't help but breathe in your sweet smell, practically trembling underneath you. like you're simultaneously not enough but yet overriding his senses.
"iloveyou" he mumbles in your neck, breath tickling your chest. it makes you giggle softly, gently pushing him back. your hands lace with his bigger ones, shaking your head as you gaze down at your half sleepy man
"try again, sir" you whisper, your arms around his neck. his eyes darken with lust at the word, instantly thinking about how many ways he could have you. but you don't relent. he knows what you want and maybe it's the fact that he's so tired that all his walls are down or the fact that he's so in love with you, he can't help but give you what you want
simon leans his forehead against your own, the sweetest of smiles pulling on his lips. his hands come to hold yours, his thumb rubbing comforting circles around your knuckles. he breathes you in a little, not used to being so open and vulnerable about his feelings like this. not used to having someone care for him so deeply, not thinking that he could've ever received such a thing in this painful life.
"i love you, with everything in me. i never thought i could feel this way, that it was even bloody possible..." he breaks off, gently chuckling at the predicament he was in. how for years he swore of love, swore off from ever pursuing a relationship in this life. he didn't grow up with adoring parents that showed him what love meant, he couldn't possibly drag someone else deep down in the depths of his pain and misery of his past. the same thing he was running from.
how nobody could hold a candle to him but you managed to light a whole fire deep in his soul. the embers burning more bright and intense than he could've ever imagined. you truly tilted his world on its axis but he didn't care. for once in his life, he was reckless. and he loved it, for it landed him you.
"but there you were, you little minx. and i've fallen for you y/n l/n, more than you think. more than i even bloody know" his voice is soft as he nears the end of his confession, kissing the tip of your nose. there's really nothing more he could think of, he was a man of few words so action was always his number one thing. no words could do it justice. but he'd show you, again and again. so that even if you had a sliver of doubt all of was expelled, he'd make sure of that
"i love you too si..." you whisper, tenderly holding his stubbled face between your palms. your thumbs rub soft circles on the apples of his cheeks, giving into him. you couldn't help it, he was so addicting. your arms go behind his neck, pulling him towards you desperately. and he did the same, his arms tightening around your waist as if you'd disappear right before him. like he couldn't handle the fact that there could possibly be any sort of distance between you both, he pulls you with his strong arms close to his front.
as you got lost in the feeling of him, a surety had rose, lodged deep in his throat. his hands hold you as if you'll slip through his fingers, deepening the kiss as though your lips were the sweetest of drugs. that it'll be you always, for as long as you will let him. for as long as you'll have him
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cannebady · 2 months
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The worst thing by far about all the fuckin' fur was how hot it was when he'd get properly nervous. It was mostly annoying, Husk thought, because he never used to get this fuckin' nervous, but these days he feels like he sweats through his fur at least every other day.
It's a byproduct of exposure to Angel Dust, he thinks (and fuck is the spider aptly named). Initially, it was anger that got him heated, being subjected to the spider trampling on his painstakingly constructed boundaries, then it was the realization that under the performance, Anthony was a spitfire with a vulnerable streak a mile wide and legs even longer. In other words, Husk's fuckin type, both topside and in Hell.
Which brings him to now; sweating through his fuckin bowtie as he paces outside Angel's room, hands so damp that the fuckin' paper wrapped around the stupid bouquet that he couldn't not buy for a certain leggy demon was getting damp and who the fuck wanted to open their door to see a sweaty, anxious, drunk failure of an overlord handing them damp shitty flowers?
Probably not the prettiest guy Husk has ever laid eyes on. His best guy, even if only in his own head.
But he'd heard Angel and Vaggie talking about her plans for her anniversary with Charlie and how much Charlie loves getting flowers. Angel's eyes had sparked up a bit, mentioning that he used to bring those home for his mother and sister, back when he'd been alive, but hadn't ever received any.
Husk knew how to spot a weak spot, and Angel was projecting to anyone paying attention, "I'm a hopeless romantic that would burst into heart shaped confetti if someone gave me flowers" and the thought hadn't left Husk's mind since.
So on his way back to the hotel, when he'd spotted a white and blush bouquet that reminded him of fur he wanted to dig his claws into and-
Well.
So he bought the stupid fuckin' flowers and now he's being a big fuckin' coward again as he's still pacing and sweating and definitely not knocking on the door and saying, "You deserve only the best, baby", and handing the (sweaty, damp, probably embarrassing) bouquet to the guy he spends every waking moment thinking about.
It's not that he even expects anything to come of it. He has nothing to offer besides a well mixed drink and an ear to bend, so he hasn't got any expectations, he just thinks that maybe someone should make Angel feel a bit less like he exists only in service to others. And sure, maybe in his drunkest flights of fancy lately he thought that maybe, just maybe, he could be the kind of guy to get a gift like Angel and care for it. Care for him.
Stupid.
He should just leave the flowers against the door.
Yeah.
But as he drops them against the door, cringing at the sweaty paw stain against the soft pink paper, the door moves inward and there he is.
Nine feet of the most gorgeous man Husk's ever been so close to, ever been lucky enough to be close to, staring at him with wide eyes and fuck, he's gotta get out of here.
"I-" he starts, but his coward voices fucks off to parts unknown, leaving only his rapid breathing and the distant sounds of the Pride ring to fill the space.
"Heya Husky," Angel says, sounded a little breathless himself.
Don't think about that.
"What's all this?" he finishes and is staring right at Husk as he tries to figure out an explanation that doesn't turn him into a pathetic creep with a hopeless crush. Fuck he's too old for this.
"Saw 'em, thought you might like' em," he settles on. True, but vague.
Coward.
"Ya got me flowers, Whiskers?" Angel says, voice a bit high, tight. His eyes are blown wide, and his mouth is open a little, like he can't get enough air in and Husk understands because he stopped breathing himself the moment the door opened.
He doesn't respond right away. Husk's been a gambling man since before Hell. Maybe this is worth gambling in, because Angel looks about a second from collapsing in his own doorway and there are only so many things that could mean.
He stands, pressing the bouquet into Angel's second set of hands, damn the fuckin' sweat and anxiety. The only way forward is though and it's the only honest way to go.
"You deserve beautiful things, sweetheart." he says, channeling a man he once was, that had the right words and tone to make someone look his way, to make them feel seen.
Those mismatched eyes go huge and glassy, and Husk is about a quarter of the way to a panic attack before he's pulled into the tightest hug he's ever experienced.
"Ya can't say things like that and expect me not ta squeeze ya, Husky," Angel murmurs into his neck, sets of arms wrapping Husk up entirely, fingers dug into his fur (he hopes he isn't too sweaty, hopes he's nice to touch).
"You deserve to hear nice things too," he whispers, and his voice is low and strained, fuckin' obviously besotted.
He feels all those lanky limbs tremble a bit (oh fuckin', Christ his knees are weak, I did that, fuck), before he decides to give into his impulse to drag his claws through that fluffy hair that's always falling into Angel's (gorgeous, incomparable, hypnotizing) eyes.
"Husk," Angel nearly whines, breathing going a bit funny at that and Husk decides to roll the dice one last time.
"Fuck it. Can I kiss you, Legs?" he says, aiming for sexy and ending up closer to desperate.
There's a shit starting grin creeping across that beautiful face when he pulls back to wait for Angel's response.
"I dunno Husky, can you?" Angel snarks and oh fuck him (literally, figuratively, any fuckin' way).
"Brat," he breathes before he pulls down to align their mouths and oh fuckin' fuck that's good.
Angel's lips are syrupy soft and sweet, tasting of vanilla and peaches and all of the good things pieces of shit like Husk shouldn't get to taste. He makes a perfect huffing whine right into Husk's mouth and he has to pull back before he loses his composure entirely.
He wants Angel, wants to show him what it's like to have someone only aim to please him, and he will, he thinks. Just not yet.
He cups the side of Angel's face, giving him one last kiss before pulling back.
Angel's eyes are half lidded and he looks like every wet dream Husk's ever had. This isn't Angel Dust, the porn star. This is Anthony, and he's fuckin' perfect.
He reaches down and tangles his claws with one of Angel's hands, rubbing a thumb along a soft cheek bone.
"Have dinner with me," he says.
"Ya wanna have dinner," Angel says, "after a kiss like that?"
"I want to do a whole lot more," he replies because he knows Angel wants to hear it and, fuck it, he wants Angel to know it. "But I want to do this right. So, dinner tomorrow?"
Angel is looking at him like he's trying to solve a very difficult riddle. It goes on long enough that he wonders if he should apologize for overstepping. Fuck knows he's not in his right mind (how could he be, standing so close to Angel like this).
But then it's like the sun breaks through and he gets one of those rare, fuckin' stunning, smiles.
"Yeah, I'll have dinner with ya, kitten," he says, breathless and playful.
"Alright then, it's a date," he says, just so that Angel knows what he's offering (so he knows it's being accepted), "Wear something nice. I ain't takin' you to any kinda dive." Because he wants that to be clear too.
He can be a gentleman, when he's fucked to be.
"Oh," Angel says and he's blushing high up on his cheeks and Husk can fucking feel the heat of it.
He raises up onto his toes to kiss one of those honeyed blushes, before bestowing another kiss to the back of the hand he's still holding.
"Goodnight, sweetheart," he says before forcing himself to walk away (lest he never leave at all).
He only looks back once he's ready to turn the corner down the hallway, and sees Angel brushing his cheek where Husk's lips had been and cradling the flowers to his chest as gently as he does with Fat Nuggets.
Maybe Husk's onto something here. Maybe caring for (loving, because that's what it is whether he's ready to name it or not) Angel is something he'll be good at. Fuck knows the spider makes it easy.
If he weren't a very jaded, former overlord he'd be skipping back to his room on a fuckin' cloud.
As it is, there's just a little pep in his step, like some of the weight of the world's been lifted from his shoulders.
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oncomingnight · 8 months
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Salvatore ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.! "My diehard, My weakness."
-Yandere! Male Model x Reader 。゚❃ུ۪
Hello everyone, I apologize for my absence but I'm finally able to write and put something out for all of you! I hope you enjoy and never hesitate in reaching out to me, I'm here to listen.
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Yassine was signed with the most highly renowned modeling agency that was in the industry. His appearance was completely entrancing, capable of stunning any person that had the privilege of seeing him in person. Everything that had contributed to his 'mysterious' demeanor was absolutely divine and could fill any person with envy. His brown bushy brows, beauty marks scattered over his body & face, dark brown circles as his irises, soft tufts of darkly colored hair, light pink plump lips, arms & hands filled with veins and a height startling to the human eye.
Despite his capability of looking like the most unapproachable man alive, he's incredibly tender-hearted and altruistic. The feeling of his muscular arms being wrapped around your waist in a comforting manner is the best form of reassurance you could ever receive. Yassine quite obviously adores you and he could never go an hour without going on about how devoted he is to you.
Traveling is something he enjoys an incredible amount, especially with you, and only you. He'll show you his favorite areas and'll make sure you're having the best time you could ever have with him. The amount of money he spends on you will act as a concern to you but Yassine doesn't mind, the two of you have different mindsets. Why should he categorize the amount of money he spends on you as a negative? It isn't something malicious when it's in favor of you.
Yassine is incredibly protective of you and he isn't afraid to act on that aspect of him. Someone could be poking fun at you in a non-hurtful manner but he'll still be quick to tell them to cut it out .
"Aye, watch it." "Wanna say that one more time?"
He's been in his fair share of fights and they've all been over you. If he's in an argument with someone else and they bring you up, they're leaving the function with several broken bones. Yassine couldn't care less if he's in a public space, if someone wants to try him and bring up his biggest weakness, he's going to stoop low. He's immensely stubborn and will defend his actions when you question him on how quick he is to fight. "He deserved it and you know it, شہزادی", he says as you clean up the bloody cut above his tatted knuckles.
Whenever he's being interviewed for magazines or podcasts, he'll always mention you or find a way to do so. The delicate manner in which he speaks about you is so endearing, making anyone interviewing him stare in admiration.
When Yassine has to travel for a casting, you're always going with him. He finds great pride in being able to properly take care of you and show you the depths of his love. He will be the first one there when you're in need of any type of assistance, all you need his him and all he needs is you.
He is all about intimacy and showing you just how vulnerable he's willing to be when it comes to you. When the two of you are having an intimate conversation, he's all about eye contact. "Hey, look at me, baby. I'll do anything for you to realize just how much you mean to me. I worship you, you know that?"
His hands are always on you no matter the time of day. It doesn't matter if you're wearing an outfit that covers your entire body, leaving everything to the imagination, his hands are going to be squeezing and rubbing you because he's not the best at containing himself. His ringed fingers being placed onto your thigh, rubbing them back and forth as he murmurs something along the lines of, "So goddamn beautiful" ,and, "you know how much I love this dress."
Wherever the two of you go, you're always seated on his lap. In his defense, it's comfortable and do you really think they clean these publicly used chairs?
Yassine loves taking you out on little trips that include doing things you deeply enjoy. He'll take you on a road trip that's filled with country roads and farm fields, laughing when you point to an area and call out, "look, there's horses!" He enjoys taking you shopping and purchasing items that you've spoken about wanting. Do you want clothing made with fine fabric? You got it. Do you want perfectly curated cosmetics? You got it. Do you simply want cute little trinkets that'll go on your bookshelf? You got it.
Lingerie? Oh, he's buying that anyway.
There's nothing he loves more than going on a little getaway trip and seeing the beauties of a certain country with you. He cherishes being able to cuddle up all close to you in your shared Airbnb , nuzzling his head into your neck, kissing your jugular and whining when you try to get up for any reason.
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rubra-wav · 2 months
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[ Entry #10 ] What it would be like actually dating Vox hcs
A/N I love Vox, but the reality of it is that he'd be terrible for a lot of reasons and I'm not gonna sugarcoat it in here like at all.
Me when theoretically very complex but ultimately still extremely problematic character: *foaming at mouth*
I love him.. but God I also hate him... but I also love hi-
This is a long one jfc.
Cw: Nsfw - no smut but strong themes, discussion of toxic relationships, manipulation, discussion of emotionally abusive/controlling behaviour, insecure aa toxic cis man behaviour, suggestive at one point
Someone asked me what I thought he'd be like with a yes-man reader so here it is
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The worst out of the way first
The thing about Vox is that he's got a fuckton of baggage and bad traits that need desperate management, and they would sure as hell not be being managed by him on his own choice.
As his partner, you would NOT be able to be a pushover or shy away from any kind of confrontation about actions that have upset you because if Vox had a partner like this? He'd become the absolute worst version of himself in your relationship because you would not be calling him out or enforcing boundaries with him.
- He's insecure, and it's in the worst way possible.
And not in the 'aw he just needs to be loved and then he'll be healed' way. I'm talking in the 'toxic, refuses to remedy his own behaviours, becomes very emotionally abusive abt it if you don't pull up your boots and confront him abt it and make sure he actually does shit about it' way.
The fanfic community likes to portray him as a victim in the relationship with Val, and while it's true Val is certainly worse for obvious/overt reasons - He's still not just a victim in that situation. He's also terrible.
Just for reasons that are less overt and are thus overshadowed a lot. Acknowledging that doesn't make the shit Val (at least seemingly thus far. Vox side-stepped the drink being thrown pretty fast and seems accustomed to violent tantrums) does to him any less terrible, it's just the truth he's not a poor defenceless victim in that. (Vox literally goes to try use his mind control power on Val the second he seems like he's gonna damage their image then throws his lowest earners under the bus.)
- In the beginning if you aren't giving him attention at all times, do something that reminds him of Valentino even slightly, or if you do something that he just mildly doesn't like; then he will be passive aggressive or straight up aggressive as absolute fucking hell.
The second he feels slighted even a little bit, he's going to be so pissy.
- And he can't communicate for absolute shit. He thinks you are doing shit on purpose to piss him off or hurt him. This is due to his relationship with Val, but it's not him being a sad sob story kind of thing (not all around at least), he will be awful to you if you allow him to ever be just a victim who can do no wrong.
- He will project all his bs heavily onto you in the beginning with complete self awareness and no thought given to managing his own shit.
If you ask what's wrong when he's acting up he probably would be the type of bitch to go 'nothing's wrong' and will then proceed to ruminate upon it until he ends up exploding about it later on. Or, maybe he'll even do the 'you know what you've done' type of shit.
- He would probably expect you to be a mind reader and when you inevitably aren't aware of wtf is happening because he hates being emotionally vulnerable at all and can't describe what's going on properly for himself, he will be an absolute bitch about it. (Carried here from my other hc that he has a bunch of self-imposed toxic masculinity he needs to deconstruct)
- If you call him out, he will likely try to convince you he's not doing it.
- He'll become increasingly more self-aware of his behaviour you are aware of and will just be even worse because he hates that you could see something about him he doesn't want you to see.
Basically, he feels embarrassed as fuck about it, and cannot apologise because that's humiliating as all hell to him, so instead of turning inwards and dealing with his crap he then proceeds to consciously project shit onto you even when he knows he's in the wrong.
He'd rather argue the wrong point and behaviour than admit he's capable of making mistakes.
He will probably also try to hypnotise you into forgetting anything he thinks is undesirable you know about him too.
- You will need to actually teach him real consequences for his actions, but also need to be assuring him that you aren't going to do shit like Val would have or leave him for someone else and shit like that simultaneously.
He needs to essentially be taught consequences, boundaries, healthy relationship behaviour, etc. From absolute scratch. I would literally pay for this cunts therapy atp istg.
- And this is gonna be an absolute fucking nightmare because again, he doesn't want to admit that he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing and that he's in the wrong. All that interferes with his image he wants to put out at all times in your relationship with him.
He's got masks on masks. Even one for your relationship. The second that cracks in any regard, he's gonna be rushing to compensate for that, and if that doesn't work, he's gonna be pissed and most likely end up pushing that onto you.
- Speaking of image. I mentioned this in a fic, but he'd most likely be extremely controlling over your freedom to disclose your relationship, too. If he thought you would look poor as a partner for his reputation (ie. Low status, bad reputation), he'd most likely never want to publicly reveal your relationship no matter how much he loves you - he'd likely hide this completely behind you having privacy but if you say you want people to know anyway he's going to slowly become more and more overtly pissy about it.
And, if you are openly known to be in a relationship, he will be wanting to control your own image as well.
If you step one foot out of line of what he deems perfect, good lord he will be an absolute nightmare.
- Also mentioned in another post, but he would absolutely also watch you through cameras you don't know are there. Same as what he's seen doing with Val.
- He's got practically zero qualms in the beginning of your relationship with violating your privacy or boundaries if he thinks he'll get away with it/that you won't find out about it. This also likely goes for things like checking your texts, calls, and search history without permission.
- The possibility that he'd try to interfere with your personal relationships if he thought they would try drag you away from him or if they take up a lot of your attention is also pretty present.
He's an incredibly jealous person (as seen by him seeming jealous of Angel with Val of all people), so the second he sees you giving someone else positive attention? He's gonna be fucking furious.
- Again, you could not be a pushover in your relationship with him because he'd be absolutely awful. You'd have to basically be reality checking him every three seconds - it's NOT for the faint of heart and even if you're incredibly patient you will probably be going insane from it at points.
Implying you can actually get him to change tho he would become a lot better - he's gonna be fighting you on practically everything because the second he feels out of control of a situation or himself he's gonna be freaking out.
He will probably be straight up terrified if it seems like you are making him 'change', even if it's for the better and will ultimately ALSO benefit him too.
The SECOND he feels out of control of a situation in any way, he will be terrible.
- Also, if you manage to push him on the path to behaviour management this cunt will be looking smug and proud of himself as all hell the second he even slightly does what you ask and will be a bitch if you don't rain down praise on him for it. 💀
- He's so positive attention motivated it's actually pathetic lmao
With that out of the way - the slightly better/good other stuff
- Vox works fucking nightmare hours with his position in hell, and he hates not being able to be around you much so he's almost always trying to make it up to you.
- He'll be on calls with you or texting you most hours of the day (even when he probably should not be) because he's honestly clingy as hell.
If you don't like having a million notifications from someone blowing up your phone with random shit then you are not going to like being apart from him because he is chronically on his phone.
- Another thing is the gifts.
If you want a sugar daddy aa boyfriend? This is the man for you because my God will he shower you with the most expensive gifts you have ever received. New phones, cars, jewellery, clothes, so on so on.
It's bad if you don't like consumerism and want to keep devices even if newer ones come out because the second something new comes out he's getting it for you - even before it becomes publicly available to the rest of hell, it's in your hands. He wants the best stuff and only the best stuff for you. How would that make him look if his partner didn't have all the best stuff? To you and also others
- Also, the second you mention you actually want or need something? It's there right in front of you. Bro has personal delivery drones, and it will be there in under 15 minutes delivered to you or someone's getting shot.
- I've seen a few people imply gift giving is his primary love language, and it's certainly up there, but I personally think that it's more likely acts of service.
This man never does anything for anyone unless it's to keep things from being annoying to him, self gain, or damaging his image. So for him to do things for you that he knows you want from him even if he doesnt particularly want to? He is well and truly in love with you, and that would be how he'd let you know that even if he isn't self-aware of it, lmao.
He doesn't like being told to do things, but he's really good at picking up on what people want usually (unless he's being delulu) so if he notices something or you mention stuff off-hand? He'll try to do it/get it/whatever it is for you.
Material things are just material things. He's rich, it doesn't mean that much to drop thousands for him. Him actually doing things for you, though? Even if it doesn't benefit him at all? That's something else entirely.
Will be annoying asf if you don't thank him enough for it, though. Ie. "Well, you're welcome then." While pouting at you.
- As for spending time with him:
I believe he constantly wants to be alone with you and only with you when he actually has time to do so, so he only wants dates to be one-on-ond most of the time.
There aren't exactly limits upon that, though, like at all.
He's absolutely rich and has ridiculous privileges so you could be on comfy home dates where you two just stay in and cuddle after eating dinner, or seeing concerts/watching movies/etc exclusively where they are not available to just anyone, or something fucking ridiculous like eating a fancy dinner at a custom designed restaurant just for dates under a goddamn aquarium (very likely ngl)
The second he gets to show off his power, he's gonna do it with a smug grin.
- He's also extremely big on physical touch but would never admit it. I already go over this in another entry, but he's gonna have a hand on you at all times (hand on your waist, hip or shoulder, purposely brushing against you more then he logically has to be, etc)
Brief mentions of sexual stuff here
I feel like he'd love someone big on physical touch - both in a sexual way but also especially in a non-sexual way.
He's not used to getting someone cuddling him or holding his hands or literally just touching him at all without some underlying ulterior motive, so he'd probably just melt into your touch.
Also I'll link the post bc there's further takes on this in it but they are ✨️sus✨️
- He would be extremely protective of you- this can absolutely become one of the blue sections really easily- but if you're in a relationship he's gonna be constantly concerned about your safety and whether you are at risk.
I mean, you're in hell. Just about anyone could turn out to be some maniac (ironic he would think that 🤨)
Anyways, point is, you'd be safe from any other maniacs. He would give you the best security and protection probably in hell.
Another thing is that he's gonna be super paranoid at all times about whether you're safe or not. Which would probably get honestly annoying rather than endearing at a point. 💀
- Even though he's really against revealing his more vulnerable parts and what he doesn't think are desirable of himself, he's absolutely craving emotional security with someone.
So when you get him passed that? He's gonna be so goddamn clingy - even more then before lmao.
Ending note
He's an absolute nightmare who's high maintenance asf and could become extremely abusive emotionally, but he really also needs to be romanced properly for that to actually get better by a partner who won't take his bs and knows how to take him down a peg and put him in his place when he's being awful.
And definitely therapy.
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The fact that I think all this and know how much an awful person he is and still love him this much as a character has gotta indicate some sort of insanity/j
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room-surprise · 3 months
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Hey! Fun question, how do you think an in-canon kabumisu confession would go? People keep portraying mithrun as blunt and straightforward about their relationship, but would he be scared to tell kabru in the chance that he'd say no and leave? Is the desire to just be in a relationship with kabru, or is the desire of not wanting to scare him off greater than that? I'm so starved on the lack of post-canon kabumisu content, they make me go crazy
As usual, I'll try not to go into TOO much detail because then I won't be motivated to write fic about it... and I AM planning to write a post-canon Kabumisu fic anon, so don't worry. I'll get there eventually :3
They make me go crazy too 😔
I think Mithrun's a complicated guy with complicated emotions. Even when he was "empty" in the dungeon he actually showed a lot of feelings - smug satisfaction, annoyance, anger, even a little bit of subtle happiness.
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So while I DO think he will still be blunt in general, I also think it's a mistake to assume that means he doesn't feel things and won't have anxieties and insecurities just like any other person.
Mithrun used to be WILDLY insecure, and jealous, and paranoid. He just stopped caring about anything, but if, like the end of the manga suggests, he is going to try to START caring again, he will then start to have feelings, too.
I think Mithrun is intensely aware of his own "undesirability", that's one of the reasons he's BEEN so depressed. Most of his self-worth before the dungeon hinged on being "better" than his brother, and better than other people. Then he looses that (or maybe he was never actually better at all!), so what does he have left? And now his youth is gone too, he's middle-aged and lost his "best years" to depression. He's disabled, he's scarred, he's a bastard that nobody wants.
It's a pretty huge fall from "most eligible bachelor in the empire"!
So I think no, he won't just bluntly tell Kabru that he likes him. It will take Mithrun awhile to realize how he feels, and once he does, he'll be afraid to reach out, so he's going to do what I call "playing silly little elf games". He's going to try and flirt via writing letters and sending gifts, to hint that he likes Kabru.
Luckily for Mithrun, Kabru also knows how to play Silly Little Elf Games (he's an Olympic champion), so he picks up the signals and starts reciprocating, though he's also uncertain and worried that he's misunderstanding. Captain Mithrun couldn't be flirting with him, could he? But... what if he is?
(I will go into Kabru's feelings at a later date anon i promise.)
I think the thing that will ultimately push Mithrun to act is the fear that he'll miss his chance. Mithrun realizes Kabru is a limited time deal that he can only enjoy for the next 60-something years, and he wants every minute of that time for himself, no matter how much it will someday hurt to lose Kabru.
And he also knows that Kabru is very handsome and charming, and he can't expect Kabru to wait for Mithrun to get himself figured out. Someone else will swoop in and snatch that man up, so Mithrun has to hurry.
ALL OF THAT SAID... I think their confession is a lot less of a confession, and much more "we have both been picking up these signals of interest for months/years, and finally one of us pushes it a little bit further than we've ever pushed it before and we acknowledge the unspoken thing that has been growing between us."
Maybe it's a hand resting on someone's leg, or a gentle touch on the arm. Maybe it's leaning in so their shoulders touch. Maybe it's looking into each other's eyes a little bit longer than normal.
Probably it involves both of them admitting "Spending time with you makes me happier than anything else in the world. Whenever we're apart all I think about is when I'm going to see you again. I spend hours composing letters to you in my mind. I want us to spend our days together, no matter what shape that takes."
It's very vulnerable and scary for both of them, and I think they're both DEEPLY relieved after they finally get it out, and they don't get rejected. They know each other so well, and they're so good at reading people - they both thought that the other might feel the same way, but it's so scary to take that leap of faith and hope that they're right.
And just for the record, I think that Kabru worries about if Mithrun will be interested in sex or not, because sex is something that matters to Kabru, but what if Mithrun just doesn't have any desire for it?
And so before they get into a relationship Kabru has a long hard think about it, and decides that even if they never have sex, he wants to be in a romantic relationship with Mithrun anyway, because just being around him makes him feel happy, and understood, and like he isn't alone anymore. There's someone who sees him as he is, all the good and the bad, and says "I love you anyway."
And Kabru decides that he's willing to just jerk off for the rest of his life if that's the price of this relationship that he wants.
Luckily for Kabru, I think Mithrun does want to have sex with him, but I like to think that Kabru thinks through all the possibilities and decides that no matter what they end up doing together, being with Mithrun is worth it.
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watermelonlovershigh · 10 months
Note
can we have a scenario with Harry where the R is on her period and throwing up and harrys just trying his best to comfort her 😫🥺🥺
AN: i hope i did your request justice. luckily i've never had to experience throwing up from my period so i don't know how it's exactly like. so i just hope its kinda sorta accurate in how i describe the cramps making reader feel and get sick. also whoever requested this, please let me know what you think. feedback is really important for us writers.
This story contains: fluff, period leaking (kinda), being sick (puking) due to period cramps, comfort
{ boyfriendrry - soft!harry - think of fine line harry era - harry is not famous in this story }
word count- 2,173
While staying the night at your boyfriend Harry's house, you get your period and then end up getting sick due to painful period cramps.
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You've known Harry for about two years. For most of those two years you were just friends. But about a month ago you finally confessed your harboring feelings for each other and now you're officially a thing. A couple. Dating more or less.
Yes you both were scared that if something happened with your relationship that your friendship would be over, but you just had to have a little bit of faith. Faith that no matter what happened your friendship comes first and foremost.
Now because this relationship is fairly new, Harry hasn't seen you at your most vulnerable states yet. Most vulnerable states as in when you're crying or sick or even the ups and downs you go through with your period. Well besides sex because you're both impatient, horny people. Because when you two were just friends, you were mainly friends within a friend group. Meaning you weren't like the closest friends ever.
Though over time you became closer as just friends and that's how you both realized you had feelings for each other. Still, Harry had yet to see you at your low points. But tonight that all changes.
Tonight, you were planning to spend the night at Harry's house. You've spent most nights at his house since becoming girlfriend and boyfriend if you're being honest. You just love the comfort Harry and his home brings to you.
Now unlike most nights that you stay over, you told Harry beforehand that you weren't in the mood for sex. You're not sure why but you had this pit feeling in your stomach that was secretly warning you of what's to come and that made you not want sex tonight.
You even told him if he'd rather you not come over because you didn't want sex to just tell you. But Harry just laughed through the phone and said that was ridiculous. That of course he still wants you to stay over. He doesn't just want to see you because of the sex. He loves you more than that.
The night started off well. Harry had ordered some chinese take-out and you both ate the delicious food while watching a romcom on his sofa. Eventually after you finished eating, you ended up cuddling into one another on the couch with a big fluffy blanket over top of you. That is until you felt the all too familiar feeling of your period starting. "Fuck," you hissed out.
"What?" Harry questioned quickly from his position as the big spoon behind you.
Going to stand up, you replied, "Um, think I started my period." At this point you knew there wasn't any way to hide the fact your period just started because you were staying the night at his house for fucks sake.
Harry had a frown on his face and goes to let you know, "Oh, well that's alright. I have some pad and tampons under my bathroom sink. Keep'um there for things like this." God, you're about ready to marry this man on the spot. His thoughtfulness is killing you.
You nodded your head and said shyly, "Okay, thank you. I'll be right back." You rushed off to the bathroom before you leaked too much in your panties and finally made it in time to collect the products you needed. Harry even bought the good brands too. Bless his heart.
After inserting a tampon and using a pad for extra protection, you were good to go. Except you realized just how tired you were now. It was nearly eleven at night anyways. So when you made it back down the stairs to Harry's living room where he had paused the movie to wait on you, you asked nervously, "Can, um, we just go to bed? I'm kinda tired now."
Without any thought, Harry stood up from the sofa and said, "Yeah, of course. Is everythin' alright with your period though. Need anythin' else?" If he doesn't stop being so nice you will be getting married tomorrow.
You shook your head, "No, I mean, yes I'm okay. Caught it right in time so I didn't leak through my clothes, thankfully. And my cramps usually start a few hours after I start. So I'm not in any pain right now. Just sleepy."
Harry turned the tv off and grabbed your hand to hold while walking up the stairs with you. "Good, but let me know if that changes. Don't be afraid to wake me up, okay. I won't mind." he commented.
A few moments later you were cuddled up in bed and ready to sleep. Your periods always made you extremely tired. Physically and mentally. Then not even five minutes into your cozy cuddles, you were asleep.
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As your eyes glance over at Harry's alarm clock you can see the time now is four am. You were sleeping peacefully until you started getting your first wave of period cramps. To hopefully will them away, you take some deep breaths and lay in a fetal position to try and fall back asleep. But you quickly realize that's not going to happen.
Now if you were at your house, you'd go take some medicine to help with your period cramps but beings that you're at your boyfriend's house, you didn't want to risk waking him up. Though he told you he wanted you to wake him if you needed anything, you just couldn't find it in you to do that.
I mean you're not necessarily embarrassed you got your period at Harry's house because he is a grown, mature man that knows women get periods. But it's more so about you being in such a vulnerable position in front of him for the first time. To your luck though, the period and the cramps were not even the worst of your worries right now. It's the creeping nausea that's blooming in your stomach.
You don't always get sick on your periods but you do more often than most you'd say. Like every three period cycles. And it's mostly from the cramps getting so bad that they make you feel and get sick. Oh how you wish on anything that this months period wouldn't be one of the months you get sick on your period. Especially not on a night you're staying at Harry's house.
As you continue to lay in bed beside a sleeping Harry, your cramps get worse and your nausea also gets worse. To the point you know you must get out of bed if you don't want to be sick all over his bed and floor. So you scramble to remove yourself from Harry's duvet and scurry over to his bathroom that's to the right of his room. But due to the room being pitch black, you accidently knock something off the night stand on your side of the bed which in turn wakes Harry up.
At this point you don't care that you've knocked something over nor do you care if it woke Harry up. All that you care about is not being sick on the floor. When you make it inside the bathroom, you flip the light switch on and run over to the toilet. Luckily you have a moment to prepare yourself for what's to come so you reach back to collect your messy hair out of your face and kneel down on the cold, hard floor.
Back in the bedroom, Harry is sat up very confused as to what's going on. The only thing he can assume is that you felt yourself starting to leak and ran to go change your products out. But when he hears your first dry heave, he knows that's not the case. He jumps out of bed and rushes to the bathroom so he can help you in any way he can.
"Hey, hey," Harry coos while finally reaching your kneeled body, "shhh, it's alright. Let it out, y/n. Your tummy will feel so much better." And just like that, after multiple harsh dry heaves, you begin to actually throw up. Which isn't pleasant and especially not pleasant when you ate chinese food for dinner.
Harry replaces your hand with his so he's now the one holding your hair back. You're in so much pain that you barely register he's in the bathroom with you. All you know is that your uterus feels like it's being kicked and punched repeatedly and you're so nauseous because of that.
You throw up for what feels like minutes until you finally catch a break. With his free hand, Harry collects some toilet paper and dabs it around your mouth and nose. Then he tosses it in the toilet and reaches up to flush the nasty contents. You whisper out an embarrassed, "Thank you."
"No need to thank me, love. Hate seein' you like this. Is it your period that's making you sick? Or the chinese? Because if it's the chinese food then I should be a little worried since we ate the same thing." Harry replies.
"No um, forgot to mention but um, sometimes on my periods my cramps get so bad that it makes me get sick. Sorry you're having to see me like this. I know I probably look and smell gross. You can go back to bed if you want."
Biting back, Harry responds, "Hey, y/n, it's totally fine. I understand periods are painful for women. And if it makes you sick then that's alright. But I will do everythin' in my power to help you not feel sick anymore. And I am not leavin' you in here by yourself. I don't care that you're sick in front of me. We are in a relationship so it was gonna happen eventually anyways, right? Now do you still feel like you're going to throw up?"
You answer hoarsely, "Kinda, but if i had some medicine I think that would stop it. It's just my cramps hurt so bad I can barely move."
"Alright," Harry softly speaks, "stay here and let me get you some medicine." He stands up on cracking knees and searches through his medicine cabinet a few feet away. "Okay, here is some zofran for your nausea and here is some pain pills for your period cramps. Let me grab you a cup of water."
After filling a paper cup full of water and collecting the medicine, Harry comes back over to you and kneels down on the hard bathroom floor beside your body. He hands them to you and with shaky hands you take the cup of water and swallow down the pills. Then he grabs the now empty cup back from you and tosses it into the trash can beside the toilet.
Being patient with you, Harry doesn't suggest going back to bed until you feel ready enough to do so. He just sits beside you and gently grazes his fingers up and down your back. Once the zofran has kicked in, you don't feel sick anymore. You just feel achy and slightly gross.
Breaking the silence, you ask, "Can I take a shower and then go back to sleep? I feel all gross but also so tired again."
"Of course you can, baby. Let me get you a towel and an extra pair of clothes from your bag, okay." Harry gets up to do just that and you stand up realizing you need to use the toilet as well. But you'll wait until he returns with your stuff.
When Harry does return with your stuff, he gives your forehead a kiss and says, "Take your time, y/n. I'll be in bed waiting on you. Call for me if you need anythin''." And with that, he leaves and you're finally left alone to use the bathroom and shower.
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When you re-enter Harry's bedroom after your shower, you expect to see him fast asleep again. But no, he's propped up in bed watching Friends on the television that hangs on the wall in front of his bed. He turns his head towards you with a sleepy smile on his face. "How was your shower? All good?"
You nod and answer while climbing back into bed beside him. "Mhm, it was good. And um, thank you for taking care of me tonight. Really appreciate it."
"Awe, baby," Harry coos, turning the tv off and helping you move closer to him, "no need to thank me. It kills me to know you sometimes have to deal with your periods side effects alone. I love taking care of you." With your head now on his chest, he tilts his head down to peck your forehead with a kiss and questions, "Is your tummy feelin' better now? Not nauseous anymore?"
Tiredly, you shake your head no against his chest and whisper, "Just slight cramping but nothing like it was before. The medicine is working. Love you."
Knowing you're not in excruciating pain anymore, sleep starts to take over Harry's body too again. But not before he can mutter out an, "I love you, too."
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