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sannie4luv · 2 months

Text

Make You Mine

Pairing: Sugar daddy! Seonghwa x f!reader

Warnings: rough sex, unprotected sex (the crowd boos), oral sex (m&f receiving), degradation, daddy kink, age gap (seonghwas 38 & reader is 23), squirting, seonghwa smokes.

Word count: 8k

Summary: after losing your job money had been tight, you weren’t sure how you were gonna make ends meet. Until your friend suggests something that catches your eye.

Being a camgirl.

"Fuck! SHIT!!" You screamed as you jumped out of bed as soon as you saw the digital clock that sat next to your bed, and to your demise. You over slept again. Even after your boss clearly stated that if you were late again you would be fired. "Okay, it's 7:30 and work starts at 8:00, I definitely got this. No sweat at all!"

Except you definitely didn't have it. Even after throwing on your clothes and doing your hair and makeup as quick as you could, you still managed to be 5 minutes late. And your boss Mingi had clearly told you that if you were even a minute late again that you would be fired.

"I thought I told you that next time you were late you would be fired, so tell me Y/N why are you late yet again? And don't give me that "I overslept and my alarm didn't go off bullshit." he says while making quotation marks with his fingers.

Mingi wasn't always like this though, he actually used to be a pretty great boss until he asked you out and you ultimately rejected him. Having not taken the rejection well he was out for blood, and made sure that your work environment was an absolute living hell.

"Please Mingi give me one more chance I promise I won't be late again, I really need this job." You begged and pleaded but alas they fell upon deaf ears. "No Y/N i'm done with you being late all the time so you can kiss your job goodbye. Get out of my office and pack your shit before I have to have security come do it for you. You better be out of this god damn building in 10 minutes." Mingi said with his gritted teeth, clearly he wasn't fucking around this time.

Pretty much scared out of your mind you got up and left his office and headed to your desk to collect your things with tears welling up in your eyes. "Fucking hell Y/N how could you be so reckless and fucking stupid." You whispered to yourself has you collected your belongings from your desk. You could feel everyone's eyes on you, since everyone knew about you rejecting Mingis offer they saw this coming.

After collecting your things you left your office that had been your workplace for the last 6 months and ultimately you were jobless yet again. It wasn't that you weren't good at keeping a job, you did your job very well. It's just you were very unlucky when it came to any job, it seemed like you could never catch a break. Whether it be asshole bosses, harsh work environments, stalker customers, or bitchy receptionists.

At this point you didn't know what to do anymore, because you indefinitely needed a job. Your rent was already high enough even though you had one of the shittiest apartments in Seoul, you were very behind on your bills, and you could barely afford to feed yourself. What the hell were you gonna do now?

So you did what you know best and called up your childhood best friend Yeosang, since he always knew what to do in a situation like this. You took out your phone and dialed his shops number since you figured he didn't have his cell phone on him. "KYS Motors this is Yeosang speaking how may I help you?" Yeosang spoke on the other line. "Yeosangggg it's Y/N" you said with a whiny voice. Yeosang could tell something was up since it sounded like you had just finished crying. "What's up princess? What's wrong?" Yeosang said adding the nickname he always called you ever since you guys were younger. "I just got fired and I don't know what to do, help me please." You said as you walked down the busy streets of Seoul whilst crying into the phone. "Come down to the bike shop, I'll see you when you get here princess." Yeosang said then the call disconnected. You weren't too far from his bike shop but since you had no car or money to take the bus you were resorted to walking everywhere. And walking around with this heavy box that had all your things in it was making your arms tired and the heels on your feet were killing you. "God dammit fuck this stupid ass box and fuck these heels." You said as you went to a near by trash can and tossed the box along with the heels away, there wasn't anything important in the box and the heels were hand me downs from your mother. After this you stomped away angrily down to KYS Motors.

Yeosang heard the door chime as he looked over he noticed your disheveled and barefoot figure. "Hey princess, did you forget to wear shoes this mornin?" Yeosang said with a chuckle. "No you dumbass I was just tired of those heels so I tossed them in the trash on my way over here. But that's not even important right now, I need a fucking job." You said frantically, you didn't wanna straight up ask Yeosang to hire you but you didn't know what else to do. "Are you hinting at you want me to give you a job?" Yeosang said with a raised eyebrow, "if so it's not gonna happen." He said as he walked over to the bike he was working on before you got here.

"Please Yeosang it'll only be for a little bit until I can find a new one. I don't care what it is I just need to make enough to pay my bills and rent. Please Yeosang I won't ask for anything from you ever again." You said as you bowed in front of him, you hated begging more than anything but you were desperate at this point.

"Ugh fine. But it's not permanent, I already have too many people working for me already. You can work here for max 3 months and then you have to find somewhere else okay? I'll let just let you clean up around the shop, will that work?" Yeosang said with a sigh, it's not that he didn't wanna hire you or help you out. It's just he had a very strict rule about not hiring close family and friends.

"Yes thank you so much Yeosang! thank you thank you thank you!" You said excitedly and hugged him from behind and planted a kiss on his cheek since he was still slumped over the bike. "Yeah, yeah. Be here tomorrow at 10:30, make sure you’re here on time. I'll see you tomorrow princess." Yeosang said has he continued to work on the bike and waved at you as you walked out the door and back to your apartment.

As you walked down the streets of Seoul your phone began to ring, taking it out the caller ID read 'PARK HANA' you decided to answer since she rarely ever gets time to call you. "What's up Hana?" You said as you brought the phone to your ear. "Y/NNNNN are you busy right now?" Hana said clearly sounding like she was bored. "Not really no, just heading home because I got fired from my job." This made Hana’s ears perk up, "What??? What do you mean you got fired from your job? Was it because of that bitch of a boss Mingi?" Hana said into the phone, "Bingo." You stated. "Can you meet me at the cafe near your apartment? I miss you." Hana asked and honestly you just wanted to go home because today was already rough to begin with, lost in your thoughts. You noticed you still didn't have on shoes, "Uh, yeah I just have to run home really quick. I'll meet you there in 15?" You asked Hana. "Yeah be there in 15!" You said as you sprinted towards your apartment building

After grabbing shoes and changing your clothes into more comfortable ones you headed to the cafe that was just a few places down from your apartment building. Upon opening the door you accidentally bump into a tall man with black hair "oh sorry I didn't mean to bump into you." You said as nicely as you could to the very handsome looking man. "Oh that's okay I didn't see you there sweetheart." He said with a dimply smile and pushed passed you to leave the cafe. Upon walking into the cafe you catch Hana waving to you in the Corner of the shop. "HANA!!" You said as you hugged her tightly, it had been forever since you saw her since she was mostly working. "Y/N! It's so nice to see you! I can't believe you lost your job I'm so sorry!" Hana said as you both sat down in the booth. "Yeah it's a fucking lot right now, he made my life living fucking hell there just because I was the first person that wasn't interested in fucking him. I mean I'm not saying he's not attractive, but he has a complete shit personality and this stupid superiority complex. Honestly I'm not that mad that he fired me now, now I don't have to deal with his bitch ass anymore." You said as your rested your head in your hand, "Well what are you gonna do about a job now?" Hana said sipping her drink that she managed to get before you got here. "Yeosangs letting me help clean up his shop for 3 months just to keep me stable until I find another job. You know how he is about not wanting to hire close family and friends. But it's only gonna be enough for my basic needs, ugh back to the completely broke life I go." You said as you rubbed your face in annoyance. Hana suddenly perked up thinking back to something she saw on the internet earlier that week. "Wait a minute I have an idea... why don't you try being a camgirl!" She said while slapping both of her hands on the table. You looked at her in complete horror and tried to figure out if she actually said that or if you just thought it. "Did you just ask me to try being a camgirl??" You said looking at her with a shocked look on your face. "Yes! You can make fucking bank from it! You're hot I bet the money would come rolling in, in no time!" She said to you. "Hana prostitution is illegal, if I wanted to do that I might as well go join a brothel." You said with a dead panned look on her face. You definitely weren't being persuaded. "Oh my god Y/N it's not prostitution, just think about it! You never know what might happen!" She said to you, "ugh I don't know Hana this seems so... dirty." You said back to her still not convinced. "I'm just saying, these top cam girls pull in THOUSANDS a month. It wouldn't hurt to try. But anyway, I gotta cut this short, Seonghwa just texted me that somethings up at the warehouse. I'll see you later Y/N!" She said rushing out of the cafe.

You sat there in silence by yourself for a bit contemplating what Hana had said. Of course this seemed so dirty and lewd but... desperate times call for desperate measures maybe?

Today was your first day starting work at Yeosangs shop and you made sure that you wouldn't sleep in this time. You set 3 alarms on your alarm clock, and 5 on your cell phone. You jumped up and began to get ready, still thinking about what Hana said to you yesterday.

I mean there was no way that you were even considering this right? You weren't that kind of person. I mean sure you were confident in yourself but like, not this much. But on the other hand you could make a lot of money from it? "God dammit just shut up" you said to yourself as you brushed your teeth trying to get the thought out of your head. After brushing your teeth you looked at the time on your phone "okay we're doing great it's just now 9:30, I have an entire hour until I have to be at work."

You went into your closet and threw on just a regular t-shirt and jeans, you figured Yeosang would give you a work uniform when you got there this morning. You slipped on your shoes, grabbed a jacket and your purse and headed out the door. You decided you were gonna grab a coffee from the cafe this morning since you had extra time.

You walked to the cafe and you once again bumped into someone while trying to get into the door. You looked up and realized it's the same man from before "hm he must come here quite often." You thought to yourself. "Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to bump into you!" You said as you held your hands up in your defense. "Oh I bumped into you yesterday didn't I? Sorry about that again pretty girl." He said with a sultry voice.

You were flustered at the nickname he just gave you, "I-it's okay! It's my fault! I should really watch where I'm going!" You said quickly, he cocked an eyebrow at you and smiled. He thought you were pretty cute.

"What's your name beautiful?" He asked you as you two stepped aside to let other people get into the cafe. "U-uh my name is Y/N! It's very nice to meet you!" You said as you held a hand out for him to shake it, instead he took your hand into his and gave it a soft kiss. Oh my god you felt like you were about to melt.

"What a beautiful name for such a beautiful girl. I'm San, it's nice to meet you sweetheart." He said with a smirk and a wink. Your heart nearly jumped out of your chest at that moment. "Thank you! That's a really nice name!" You nearly face palmed at what you just said, really Y/N? "That's a really nice name?" That's the best you can do!??, "haha thank you cutie, well this was nice but I gotta get going. I'll see you around okay?" He said as he patted your shoulder and left.

You couldn't believe that just happened, in the midst of you being flustered you almost forgot about work. "SHIT!" You said as you pulled out your phone quickly unlocking it to look at the time. You let out a sigh of relief noticing that it's only 9:55, you still had plenty of time to grab your coffee before you head to KYS Motors.

After you grabbed your coffee you started your walk over to the bike shop, and you had to admit that you were super fucking nervous. What if Yeosang was super critical of you on your first day? What if he fired you for not cleaning something right? Shit you were really anxious now. Your nerves only got worse when you reached his shop. "You got this Y/N just calm down." You said to yourself to try to hype you up.

"Hey princess! You're early, I'm proud of you." Yeosang said as he unlocked the front door to let you in. The shop wasn't open just yet, it didn't open until 10:45 but he wanted you here early just so he could go over what your duties were. "Yeah well I can't fuck this up I really need this job." You said to him and took a sip of your coffee.

"Well first things first you need a uniform." Yeosang said with a sly smirk on his face as he went to the back to grab your uniform. When he comes back you're greeted with the ugliest jumpsuit you've ever seen in your life. You immediately wanted to argue, but you really needed the job so you just held your tongue. "It's great!" You said enthusiastically, Yeosang could clearly tell you were lying. "Haha I'm just fucking with you, here wear this." He said as he tossed you a grey polo shirt with his shops logo printed on the side.

"Oh thank god." You sighed a sigh of relief as you went to the bathroom to change into your work shirt. "Not bad princess, now you look like you belong." He said slightly rubbing your shoulders to get rid of some of your nerves. "Hey it's okay, don't be nervous. What I'm asking you to do is really easy." Yeosang said as he lead you around the shop stating what your duties would be. It didn't seem hard at all, all of them were really simple tasks.

After a few hours you seemed to get the hang of everything you were supposed to do, so much even you already finished all the work Yeosang had tasked you with. So ultimately you asked him what else there was for you to do and he looked back at you with a stunned look on his face.

"You already finished everything? Um, let me go check it out." Yeosang said getting up from his seat in front of the bike he was working on and began to walk around to the places in which he tasked you to clean. Everything was spotless and perfect. He couldn't believe it. "Well everything looks great, I don't really have anything else for you to do today so you can just go on home if you want." Yeosang said scratching the back of his neck.

"No Yeosang pleaseeee give me something else to do, that apartment is so boring and I need the money." You said tugging on his jumpsuit sleeve. He sighed, giving into you like he always did. "Ugh fine, you see this page? These are all the customers whos bikes are ready for pick up, their name and phone number and what bike they had is all right there. Call them and let them know that they're ready whenever the can come get them." You looked Down at the paper and there was only 3 people whos bikes were ready.

After calling the first two you went to call the 3rd and you noticed something interesting about it. "Choi, San." Read the name, you couldn't help but think back to the San you met this morning. You wondered if it was the same guy. "Oh no that's silly, San is a super popular name. That can't be him."

Well, turns out. It was him. "Hey pretty girl I didn't expect to see you again, you stalkin' me or somethin'?" He said with a Dimpled smirk on his face, making your cheeks blush a bright red. "N-no! I just started working here today I-I didn't know!" You said in your defense. "Haha it's okay cutie I'm just joking around, can I have the keys?" He said with that stupid grin on his face. God he was so hot.

You went over to the cork board that housed all the bike keys, skimming until you found his you grabbed it and handed it to him. "Thanks beautiful I'll see you around." He said with a wink. Good thing you were wearing black pants because you were a fucking waterfall right now.

"You know him?" Yeosang said while wiping his hands that were riddled with oil on a towel. "Um, I bumped into him at the cafe near my apartment yesterday and today and it just turns out that he comes here to get his bike maintenance done." You said still blushing. "Yeah he's a pretty good customer, he's been coming here for a few years now along with his brother." Yeosang said to you. "Oh that's really cool."

You said to him. "Yeah, anyway. I don't have anything else for you to do and we close in about 30 minutes so you can just head on home. Don't worry I'll still pay you for the whole day." Yeosang said as he grabbed your shoulder playfully. "Okay thank you for this again Yeosang, I'll see you tomorrow morning!" You said while grabbing your things and heading out the door.

The walk to your apartment was only about 10 minutes so you made it here pretty quick. Upon coming inside you kicked your shoes off at your front door and trudged your way to the bedroom and flopped on your bed. Work wasn't hard at all it's just you were on your feet all day. You rolled over and stared at the ceiling, you couldn't stop thinking about San. You couldn't believe all the things he said to you today. Every little nickname made your heart flutter.

You slapped your hands on your face and tried to get him off your mind. You grabbed your laptop and just absentmindedly went to one of the 'illegal' sites to watch one of your favorite shows. Hoping that would get you to stop thinking about the black haired handsome man. Upon entering the website you were greeted with these obvious porn ads, one in particular caught your eye. It read 'diamondgirlsxxx.com' , your curiosity got the best of you and you clicked the ad.

You were immediately greeted with tons of girls on live touching themselves. You blushed and shut your laptop extremely quick. But it didn't stay like that for long since you were pretty curious about all this stuff. You decided to click on one of the random girls, you watched in awe. You couldn't believe how confident and empowering she looked. You wondered if you could look like that too... "fuck it." You whispered to yourself and went over to the 'create account' button.

After putting all your information in you had to decide on a username. You went with "Luv4Kitty" you cringed at the name but it's the best you could come up with. You couldn't believe you just did that, the first thing you did is call up Hana to tell her the news.

"Hey Y/N what's up?" Hana asked into the phone, "I- Uh I wanna try being a camgirl." You said quickly and Hana could hardly tell what you said but she made it out pretty well. "Oh my god are you serious! Yes bitch yes! You know what we have to do right?" She said and you could hear the devious grin on her face. "What?" You said excitedly. "We have to go shopping." She said with a sly smirk. Oh god what have you gotten yourself into.

"Shopping?? Hana you know I can't afford that, I can barely afford to live in the first place." You said with a groan cursing your broke self. "Oh don't worry about it, I got this. Meet me in front of your apartment In 15 minutes." Hana said as she hung up. You didn't understand what she meant by what she said. You just trusted her judgement and started to get ready.

You ended up just switching your shirt to a classic tee since you were still in your work uniform. You decided to just stick with the jeans. You grabbed your purse and keys and walked down to the front of the building where you were supposed to meet Hana. You scrolled through your phone until you heard a honk which indicated Hana was here.

You noticed it wasn't her car though, she rolled down the window and smirked at you. "Get in bitch we're going shopping." She said as she flashed a black card and your eyes went wide. You couldn't help but notice the handsome man sitting in the drivers seat smoking a cigarette

"Hana what the fuck? Who's card is that? Because I know it's not yours." You said as you rolled your eyes getting into the backseat of the car. "It's my brothers and this is him by the way." She motioned to the man sitting in the drivers seat. He gave you a small wave and a smile. "Hana what the fuck do you mean it's your brothers?? We can't spend HIS money on ME. That's so disrespectful."

You said frantically because you knew damn well you don't need to be in anyone's debt. Especially not someone you didn't knows debt. "It's really okay, Hwa is rich as hell. As long as you let him watch your streams he's more than happy to contribute to the cause." She said with a devious smile on her face

"I uh- well I really thank you a lot Hwa?" You said Hana’s nickname for him since she failed to tell you his real name. You sent her a glare because you didn't wanna sound informal. "Haha no problem darling, and my names Seonghwa but Hwa will be just fine." He said while flicking the cigarette ashes out the window. You blushed at his forward ness. "Make sure you pick something pretty for me okay?" He said and this only made you blush 10 times harder.

"I- yes sir!" You said quickly. Seonghwa smirking at your reaction. "So uh, where are we going?" You asked as your scratched the back of your neck nervously. "We're going to the mall duhhh, we gotta get you some cute lingerie to wear! I've seen what underwear you have and they are just not gonna cut it sweetheart." She said with a smirk. "Hana can we please not talk about my underwear in front of your brother."

"Why not? He's gonna see you naked anyway." She said shrugging her shoulders. You couldn't help but notice Seonghwa blush at Hana’s words. "Hana can you please shut up." You said with gritted teeth. It was your first time meeting him and she was already embarrassing you. "Yeah Hana, be nice!" Seonghwa said and he slightly hit Hana in the back of the head. "Don't hit me you fucking geezer." She said slapping his arm.

"We're here guys." Seonghwa said as he pulled into the malls parking lot, you weren't gonna lie. You were super nervous about this whole thing, of course you weren't a stranger to touching yourself or having sex, you had done it plenty of times. But you had never done it on camera for several people to see.

You got out of the car and began walking towards the mall, Seonghwa could tell you were nervous. He thought it was adorable, he let Hana get ahead of you two so he could wrap his arm around your shoulders and pull you close. "Don't be nervous pretty girl, you'll look perfect in anything you wear." He whispered into your ear. This made you shiver and tremble with want. "Oh thank you." You said to him as you tried to hide your blushing face.

You both caught up to Hana and followed her to the first store. Of course it was Victoria's Secret. Almost immediately your nerves came back and you started to panic. There were so many beautiful options and you had never owned this kind of lingerie before. "Why don't you pick some out Hana? I'm not really good at this kind of thing." You said as you twiddled your thumbs.

"No problem, I'm perfect at this kind of thing." She said with a wicked grin and immediately started grabbing every piece of lingerie she thought was cute and in your size. Your eyes went wide at the prices of some of these. You couldn't believe people would spend this much money on underwear alone. "Okay here go try these on, I think these will be perfect." She said handing you about 3 sets of lingerie.

Once you got into the dressing room you began to feel nervous again. But that all went away after you tried on the first set. It was a beautiful emerald green color endorsed with lace and ribbons. It fit you perfectly and you couldn't deny that you looked absolutely stunning in it.

"What do you think of this one Hana?" You asked her since Seonghwa wasn't allowed back here per their rules. "Oh my god!! You look so fucking hot Y/N! We definitely have to get that one! Go try on the rest!!" She said excitedly. You were glad that she thought it looked amazing as well.

The second set you tried on was a cute baby pink, the bra being lace that was lined with Rhinestones across the top of your breasts. The bottom featured a lace pink skirt that was attached to a white pair of silk panties. You thought this one was beautiful as well, although you felt more cute rather than sexy. Not that that was a bad thing though.

"Okay what about this one?" You asked Hana again. "oh my fucking god bitch you are so hot!!! definitely a yes!!" She said to you. The confidence you were gaining from this felt invigorating. You couldn't get enough of it.

The third and final set Hana picked out was a royal blue. It was a full lace body suit that dipped down all the way under your belly button in the middle. This one you truly felt sexy in. This was probably your favorite of the three.

"I think this one has to be my favorite Hana I look so hot!" You said as you stepped out to show her and her eyes went wide. "We are so getting that you look amazing! Also, Hwa picked one out for you. He gave it to me for you to try on." She said as she handed you another set of lingerie.

The one Seonghwa picked was gorgeous, it was a lilac silk body suit with lace lined around the top of your breasts and it also featured a long purple sheer robe that had the same lace lining on the ends of the sleeves. You were surprised that he didn't pick something way more revealing. You felt the most beautiful in this one.

"Well?" You asked Hana as you stepped out of the dressing room for the last time, "holy shit Y/N you look so gorgeous, I can't believe he picked that one? You'd think he'd pick something more revealing." Hana had thought the same as you. "We're definitely getting all of these, this should definitely be enough to get you started. Once you get into it more we'll come back and buy you more!" She said as she pushed you back into the dressing room.

You got dressed and walked out with all the lingerie in hand and found Seonghwa waiting for you both outside the dressing rooms just scrolling on his phone. "Hm I'm surprised you stayed here the whole time, don't you think it's kinda boring?" You asked him teasingly. Hana had wandered off somewhere to look for her some things as well.

You were pretty tired so you decided to sit down next to him. "How could I get bored when I know a pretty girl is trying on lingerie for me?" He said with a wink. This alone made you blush. You couldn't help but feel yourself getting riled up at the thought of him. You wondered what other kinds of things he would say to you.

You felt yourself get some courage and whispered in his ear, "how about I let you take it off of me tonight?" You said as you slightly bit his earlobe. It was your turn to make him blush and he felt himself harden at the thought of taking off the lingerie off of you.

"I might have to take you up on that offer baby." He said in a husky voice. God you couldn't wait to get home now.

After your interaction with Seonghwa you couldn't wait to get home, you two exchanged numbers while still in Victoria's Secret away from Hana. Little did you know this was completely set up by Hana in an attempt to get Seonghwa off her ass. Not only did she help you but she finally had someone to set her brother up with.

He had been so strict and annoying lately when it came to the 'fake' family business and he would not shut up. This was her attempt at getting him to let off some steam. It couldn't have worked out any better. Of course you didn't know that though.

After walking around the mall for awhile your feet began to hurt and you grew tired, since you barley had any rest after work that day. And you couldn't wait to get a chance to be alone with Seonghwa in the seclusion of your apartment. "Hey, it's getting pretty late why don't we head home?" You said to Hana and Seonghwa.

Seonghwa smirked at you causing you to blush. He knew exactly what you were pulling here. "Yeah you're right, I'm pretty exhausted as well. Let's get going." Hana said with a yawn and you all headed back towards the entrance of the mall.

Hana offered to let you sit up front so she could lay down in the back seat. You told her that you didn't mind to sit in the back but yet she wouldn't budge and here you were sitting right next to Seonghwa as Hana softly snored in the back seat.

"I had fun with you tonight pretty girl, I hope you enjoy everything you got." Seonghwa said with a sultry voice. God you wanted to take him right then and there. "I-I did! Thank you so much again, I don't know how I can ever repay you." You said to him with a blush on your face. You guys approached a stop light and he leaned over the center console of the car.

"You can repay me with that pretty pussy of yours later baby." He said as he kissed your neck. You suddenly felt a deep pulse between your legs. Your face grew red again as the stop light turned green and you all headed towards your apartment building.

Upon arriving at the front you noticed Hana was still asleep so Seonghwa pulled you in one last time to whisper in your ear. "I gotta drop her off and then I'll head over baby. Put that purple one on just for me and sit pretty for me okay?" He said with a kiss on your cheek. "O-okay I'll see you in a bit Hwa." You said as you stepped out of the car and walked into your apartment building.

You went in your apartment and immediately began to get ready. You hadn't hooked up with anyone in awhile just cause there hadn't been anyone that was really worth hooking up with. So you had a lot of preparations to do.

You figured you had maybe an hour to get ready for him so you jumped in the shower and began washing off the reminiscences of your day. You couldn't get your mind of Seonghwa. He had made you feel so warm today. You couldn't wait to see what else he'd make you feel.

After you washed your body and your hair you went back to your room and towel dried your hair, put on some lotion and some light perfume. You didn't wanna seem like you were trying too hard. But you wanted to put in some effort in looking nice for him.

You pulled out the purple set he picked out and put it on. You looked at yourself in the mirror, you felt so beautiful in this. It was definitely your favorite now. You wondered what people would think of it once you started streaming. Would other people find you beautiful in it or would they think you're trying too hard?

You're knocked out of your thoughts when you hear a knock at your door. You texted Seonghwa your apartment number once you exited the car so you knew it had to be him. You could feel yourself getting nervous. "Pull it together Y/N you got this." You said as you headed towards the door.

You opened the door to reveal Seonghwa himself, he had changed from his jeans and leather jacket into a pair of joggers and a hoodie. God he looked even more sexy than before?! How was that possible?

His jaw dropped once he saw you, since he wasn't allowed back in the changing area of the store he never saw what the lingerie looked like on you. God you looked so fucking beautiful he couldn't take his eyes off you. He couldn't wait to get in there and take it off.

"Hey there pretty girl, god you look so fucking hot I can barely contain myself." He said as he backed you into your apartment. Your eyes glanced down to see he was already sporting a semi. The thought of it made you blush.

"Then don't. Show me what you can do old man." You whispered in his ear. This made the hair stand up on the back of his neck and he couldn't hold himself back anymore. "Who the fuck you calling an old man princess?" He said as he smashed your guys' lips together. "Only thing you’re gonna be calling me is daddy, do I make myself clear princess?" He said as he pulled your hair back to kiss up your neck. This action alone made you shiver.

"Yes sir." You said with a moan. "Good girl. Now, show me what that pretty little mouth can do baby." He said as he shoved you to your knees. You're then met with quite the bulge in front of your face. If he looked huge through his sweatpants then you couldn't imagine what he looked like with nothing on. The thought alone made you clench your thighs tightly. Rubbing them together to get some kind of friction.

"Didn't I just tell you to get that mouth of yours to work princess? Or am I gonna have to do it myself?" He said as he grabbed on to the base of your hair and pulled you up to look at him. "N-no daddy I'm sorry." You winced as he held you by your hair. "Good girl, now get to it." He said as he set you back down on your knees.

You pulled down his sweatpants only to be met with a huge tent in his boxers right in front of your face. Yep, this man was definitely huge. Your mouth watered at the sight of it. You gave his tip a small kiss through his black boxers. This made him shutter. "F-fuck baby pull em down please, need you so bad." He said breaking his rough facade for a mere second.

You pulled down his boxers and was met with his monster of a cock. He was definitely bigger than the other men you had been with, you wondered how this was even gonna fit in the first place. You got to work on his dick, grabbing it at the base and slowly stroking it. Getting a little more confident you sucked his tip into your mouth slowly while looking up at him with big doe eyes.

"Fuck baby go deeper please." He said as he grabbed your hair and pushed you down further causing you to gag a bit. You did as you were told and began sucking him off completely. "Fuck yeah princess that's it. That's a good girl." He said as he held your bobbing head.

You grew more confident and put him all the way to the back of your throat. You grew more needy the more you heard his moans, you didn't wanna stop. He felt so good in your mouth you felt like you were getting high off it. The feeling only made you slick the body suit even more.

It had been months since you had sex so you could probably cum from sucking his dick alone. It only made you go faster. "Fuck baby stop I'm gonna cum, I don't wanna cum in your mouth." Seonghwa said as he pulled his dick out of your mouth. He pulled you up by your neck and kissed you deeply. Slipping his tongue in your mouth and tasting himself.

"You want me to eat that pretty pussy baby?" He whispered as he left little hickies on your neck which you would surely need to cover tomorrow. "Please daddy.." you whimpered out as the pool of slick in your body suit was beginning to be too much to bare. You wanted to fuck him so bad.

"Lay on the bed for me pretty girl." He said as he gently pushed you onto the bed. He couldn't get over how hot and fucked out you already were and he hadn't even done anything yet. "Goddamn princess, sucking my cock turned you on that much? Pussys practically dripping for me. Fuck you're so beautiful." He said as he slowly rubbed your clit through the body suit and pressed a small kiss on it.

"F-fuck Seonghwa please." You whispered out feeling yourself get even wetter from his actions. "Don't worry baby Daddy's gonna take good care of you." He said as took off your sheer robe and pulled the straps of the body suit down over your shoulders and took it off. He almost came at the sight of you. You were even more beautiful than he imagined.

"God princess you're perfect. Lookin' so pretty for me." He said as he fondled your boobs. God everything about you was perfect he couldn't get enough of it. "Please touch me Seonghwa please." You whimpered out as you couldn't take his teasing anymore. "No problem baby. I got you." He kissed down from your neck, to your navel, and finally to the place you needed him most.

"Please, I need you so bad." You whimpered out to him hoping to god he'd do something soon. "I got you baby don't worry." He said and gave your clit a kiss, you shuddered out a moan and gripped your hands in his hair. He licked a long strip from your entrance all the way back up to your clit. "Fuck baby you taste amazing." He said and delved back into your pussy.

"F-fuck Hwa oh my god." You said as you gripped his hair even tighter. Seonghwa began to grind his hard erection into the bed just to get some kind of friction. He kept licking at your wet heat and dipping his tongue in your entrance every once in a while. You tasted amazing, if he could have this every day he would be in heaven.

You began to feel the knot in your core tighten. You knew it wouldn't take you long to cum since it had been so long since you had, had sex. But you damn sure weren't complaining. "Hwa I'm close" you moaned out to him. "Oh yeah princess? Want me to make you cum all over my face baby?" He said to you.

"Fuck yes please daddy make me cum." You said gripping his hair even tighter. Seonghwa began to work you like a starved man, you suddenly felt an urge like you had to pee. Immediately you wanted him to stop, you didn't think he'd want you squirting all over his face. "Seonghwa s-stop i feel funny." You moaned out but he didn't stop. Suddenly the knot in your stomach broke and you ended up squirting all over his face.

You sat up terrified because you were so embarrassed that just happened. "Oh my god I'm so sorry I promise I didn't mean to-" you were cut off by Seonghwa smashing his lips into yours and pushing you back into the bed. "Never fucking apologize for that baby that was fucking amazing. I'd let you squirt on my face again but god damn I need to fuck you right now."

He said as he pushed you back on to the bed and he began undressing himself completely, you nearly moaned at seeing his completely naked body. Despite him being a few years away from 40, god damn he looked fucking good. You could tell he did a lot to keep up his physique. God you needed him inside you immediately.

He crawled onto the bed and on top of you and pulled you into a deep kiss. "You ready pretty girl?" He said as he poked your entrance with his hard cock. "I- I don't know if it'll fit." You moaned out as he rubbed his tip on your clit. "Don't worry baby I'm gonna make it fit." He said as he began to push into your entrance.

Your eyes rolled in the back of your head and you threw your head back with a moan. "Oh fuck Seonghwa!" You moaned out which only made him push the entirety of his dick inside you, you almost came right then and there.

"F-fuck baby it's so tight." He said as he stilled inside so you could get used to him. "Please move, I can't take it, move please." You said as you glided your fingernails along his back. This made him shudder with pleasure.

"You got it princess." He said as he began moving back in forth. You felt so warm and wet he knew he wouldn't last long. Here he was in his late 30's and he was about to cum like he was a virgin all over again. Although it had been a few years since he was last with a woman. So he cut himself a bit of slack.

"Fuck me just like that oh my god." You moaning out your obscenities only made him fuck you even harder. He pushed your legs up to your chest and locked his arms around them trapping you. He began Pounding into you so fast you saw your self seeing white. You were definitely about to cum.

"F-fuck Seonghwa I'm gonna cum." You said as you wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your face in his shoulder. "That's it baby cum for me. Fucking squirt all over me baby. Come on do it for me." He grunted in your ear and that's all you needed to hear. You let out a ear splitting moan and gushed all over his abdomen.

You fell back on to the bed as he continued to fuck you through your orgasm. "Fuck princess I'm gonna cum, you gonna let me cum inside you?" He said roughly in your ear. "Fuck please Hwa, cum inside me." The second you said that you felt his cock twitch. A few seconds later you felt him filling you up. The feeling was almost addictive.

"Fuck pretty girl take it all. God damn you're so fucking hot." He said as he pulled you in for a deep kiss as he was still cumming inside you. After he had finished he laid on top of you for a bit while he was still inside. He stroked your hair as you tried to catch your breath.

"Still think I'm an old man princess?" He said as he kissed your cheek. "Absolutely not, that was amazing Hwa." You said as you kissed him softly. He finally pulled out of you and you felt his cum dripping from within you. It felt nice but it also felt disgusting. "Let me get you cleaned up baby I'll be right back." Seonghwa said as he went into the bathroom to get you a warm washcloth.

After he cleaned you and himself up you both found yourselves laying in the embrace of eachother. You didn't want the night to end. "Will you stay with me tonight Seonghwa?" You said as you traced shapes along his chest, slightly dozing off in the process.

"If that's what you want baby." He said as he kissed your forehead. You nodded and after a bit he heard soft snores coming from you. God you were so cute he couldn't get enough of you. He was definitely going to have to thank his sister for making this happen.

"Goodnight beautiful." He said as he drifted off to sleep himself. Ending the night in the most perfect way possible.

A/N: heyyy this will be two parts but I can’t promise when the next part will come out so wait patiently for it !! Ty!!

#ateez smut #hongjoong smut #seonghwa smut #yunho smut #yeosang smut #san smut #mingi smut #wooyoung smut #jongho smut #smut

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pyjamacryptid · 10 months

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I’m not sure how I got here but I’ve been thinking about the intimacy and devotion of washing another’s hair, the hair of someone you care for (how unconditional a gesture it is) and I then thought of Merlin doing it for Arthur.

It’s not in the job description (a lot of what Merlin does for Arthur is not in the job description) and it’s unlikely something that started his first day as Arthur’s servant. Nor the second or the 20th or by the 6th month. Arthur may be a prince, a prattish one at that, but when it comes to his baths he only expects of Merlin what he expects of any manservant - call for the tub, draw the water, lay out a towel, place fresh clothes close by and so on. But, naturally, he’s also a prince that commands the knights and with training comes injuries. Perhaps an arm was dislocated and he’s on strict orders from Gaius not to utilise it, and definitely not to reach above his head. Later that same day Arthur sits in the bath and realises too late he can’t tend to his own hair. But he doesn’t call Merlin over from where he’s making the bed. He tries to do it himself. He’s still got one working arm, after all.

Arthur only knows how to command things be done. He doesn’t know how to ask for things. He doesn’t yet know that asking isn’t weakness.

But he can’t hide his struggling from Merlin, who’s more mother hen than manservant.

“Here, let me,” he says, suddenly behind Arthur, “before you lose all the bathwater and your arm, both.”

“I don’t need your help, Merlin.”

“Of course not, sire. Now, pass me the hair oil.”

“Excuse me, who is it that gives the orders here?”

“You, sire. The hair oil.”

“…”

“Thank you. Right, hold still. I said hold still—“

After, Arthur will wonder why he ever thought Merlin would be anything but gentle. After, Arthur will wonder when his eyes closed and why they feel a little wet, especially as Merlin took great care to catch anything before it fell in Arthur’s face.

Over time, a stool begins to sit beside the bath, whenever it’s drawn. Over time, Arthur will notice Merlin’s fingers never grow any less gentle (even when he knows his manservant is angry with him). Over time, Arthur will want to ask why Merlin added washing his hair to his list of jobs indefinitely, long after his arm healed, but is afraid he’ll only prompt Merlin to stop because it’s not a job at all. Over time, Arthur will wonder what oils Merlin uses on his own hair, if he has access to hair oil at all, and how his cropped hair might feel to touch.

#is this a ficlet #idk how I got here #or where this came from #listen the devotion of washing hair got to me alright #merthur #bbc merlin #merlin #merlin x arthur #merlin emrys #arthur pendragon #Merthur fic #ficlet #fanfic #merlin ficlet #merthur headcanon #ren writes #IDK WHAT THIS IS JUST TAKE IT (yeets this at the Merthur fandom and skedaddles)

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dedalvs · 6 months

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Hello there! I was wondering if you could possibly translate this quote: (I know it's a different fandom, but I was wondering if you could translate it anyways. I think it would be neat to see it in High Valyrian.)... "Not all who wander are lost."

So listen… I know this wasn't the intent, and I know that you're kind of standing in for tons of people from my past, but like… When people ask to have something translated, do they really not give any thought to the grammatical complexity of what they're asking for? And 100% this is not just you, but like… Embedded clauses, relative clauses, counterfactuals…

Something I didn't realize till I started creating languages for a living is translation is my least favorite part of language creation—and it's what I spend the most time doing.

Okay, so, "Not all who wander are lost". Good lord. First, there's "lost", which has a literal and metaphorical meaning in English. Absolutely no idea if this would translate in High Valyrian, and I'm pretty sure I don't have a word for "lost", and I don't even know how to go about creating one. Spanish perdido essentially comes from "wasted" or "squandered". We know where English "lost" came from. There actually is a word for "to lose" in HV, but it's to lose a battle. Doesn't make sense to use it here. So I'm going with something that kind of evokes that mists that surround destroyed Valyria and use the locative of "fog", so to be sambrarra "in the fog" means "to be lost".

I also don't (or didn't) have a word for "wander", but I made a derivation based on one of my favorite words, elēnagon, which means to oscillate or swerve. Jorelēnagon now means "to wander". Seems to fit.

And that was the easy part. A relative clause is something like "The dragon that I saw is big". "Whoever I saw is big" also features a kind of relative clause—an indefinite relative clause. These things are absolute murder to create. But no. It's not just that. It's a modified indefinite relative, because it's not "Whoever wanders is lost", it's "All who wander are lost". BUT IT'S NOT JUST THAT. It's negated on top of that. NE. GA. TED. And not just in the usual way: It's the Mothra fumbling quantifier that's negated. It's not whoever wanders. It's not all who wander. It's NOT ALL who wander. This is like my nightmare—being asked to translate something like this. This is giving me flashbacks to season 1 of House of the Dragon when they asked me to translated "Would that it were", as if that was some reasonable thing for a human being to say in any language ever.

Anyway, if you type "indefinite relative clause" into my High Valyrian grammar, you come up with nothing, because I always forget to write down how the hell I decided to do them. I think because I have both relative adjectives and pronouns that I can just use the damn pronouns by themselves. God. "Not all…" Are you kidding me?! You know High Valyrian has a whole collective number to handle "all", right? What, do I just negate that? Will the meaning be the same as a negated quantifier?! Like it's [[not all] who wander], right? And you can bracket like that because they're all separate words. But what if "all who" is one word? What then?! BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT IS!

(By the way I just added a sentence to my grammar that includes the phrase "indefinite relative clause" so I can search for it. It's not like this wasn't written up, but I honestly probably forgot what the term was when I wrote the section the first time and I never revisited it.)

Okay. I'm calm and cool. So. Returning to the translation. There are two types of relative pronouns: One that refers to people or things, and another that refers to concepts or ideas or places. We're talking about people here, so we need the first one. And we need it in the collective. That's lȳr. Leaving the negation aside, this can be translated fairly easily:

Jorelēnus lȳr sambrarra ilza.

Okay, that's "All who wander are lost". I chose the aorist subjunctive for the relative because it's like "anyone who may wander"; I think it makes sense. Lȳr is grammatically singular, so it triggers third person singular agreement in both verbs. Since we're using ilagon as a locative copula here, I think (think) the present tense makes the most sense. So that is "All who wander are lost".

Now how the flarking frump do you say "not all" when "all who" is lȳr?!

So since lȳr is a pronoun it can be modified with an adjective, which would like like this:

Jorelēnus dōre lȳr sambrarra ilza.

But the problem with that is I don't think it gives us the intended meaning. I think that means "None who wander are lost", and that's not what the intended meaning is at all. It is basically "Some people who wander are indeed lost—perhaps many of them—but some of those who are wandering are not, in fact, lost". This is also why you can't negate the matrix verb. That would mean "Anyone that might be wandering is not lost"—again, not the intended meaning. This is the crux of the whole translation: Negating the quantifier and not what the quantifier is modifying.

For that reason, the only thing I can think to do is to go to a much more prolix, and, frankly, un-Valyrian-like expression. This would mean taking the relative pronoun out of the collective, putting it back in the singular, adding in a quantifier, and negating it. That would be this:

Jorelēnus dōre tolvie lȳ sambrarra ilza.

Is that it? I honestly don't know. It is a translation; I'm not sure if it's the best translation. Another possibility is to re-translate it and say "A few who may wander are not lost". That would look like this:

Jorelēnusy lȳn sambrarra ilosy daor.

The pronoun is now in the paucal, which triggers plural agreement on both verbs. (And, by the way, thank goodness sambrarra is a noun phrase; it doesn't have to agree with anything!) And this is, basically, "A few who may wander are not lost".

I feel like the second translation is better maybe…? It feels more Valyrianesque. But I'm not 100% sure it conveys the same sense.

Anyway, I started translating this a little over two hours ago. That's what this takes. That's how long something this complex takes. Granted, it didn't have my full attention at all times, because I was watching Booksmart, but this was my second time watching it, so I didn't have to give the movie my undivided attention (though it had been a few years; there were bits I didn't remember). But yeah. Translation. My god. Like…why. Creating languages is fun. Translation is work. (And if it's not work, you're doing it wrong. Mic drop; soap box kicked.)

#conlang #language #valyrian #high valyrian #valyrian grammar #grammar #high valyrian grammar #translation #asoiaf #grrm #hbo #hotd #house of the dragon #got #game of thrones #all the flipping tags #booksmart

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lycheeloving · 4 months

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Another multiverse yandere!Bruce fic, with special guest the Flash! It kind of got away from me and Bruce isn't even in this a lot... but I still love it tbh

again, i imagine this being at a time where you've been with Bruce for some time and have mostly accepted that you won't be getting away from him

Once again warning for typical yandere stuff, kidnapping, implied past noncon, minors dni. Oh and gn reader!

You're in the Batcave, sitting on Bruce's lap while he's typing away on his Batcomputer, researching something. He's in full Batman costume, which is hard and uncomfortable to sit on, but at least you're only sitting there and "warming him up" (as he puts it), instead of cockwarming him. Gotta be grateful for the little things. Actually, it's more like he's warming you up, because the suit must be warmer than what you're wearing (which isn't a lot), but, whatever, same difference.

At some point he pushes you off, stands up, growls out a "Don't touch anything, I'll be back soon," and proceeds to rush out of the cave in the Batmobile. Did he just leave you alone in the cave? Right next to all of his gadgets and the supercomputer?? You consider trying to contact the outside world for a second before coming to the conclusion that this must be a test, no way is he leaving you here alone if there's actually a way for you to get help! Probably.

Right as you've decided not to touch anything, the screen starts flashing with: "Incoming Video Call: Batman". What? Is he seriously calling you now? He's definitely trying to trick you into touching something, just so he'll have an excuse to punish you. No way are you falling for that! You're absolutely not going to push the button that would accept the call, even though it's glowing so enticingly... Also, what if he really needs your help (even though you have no clue what you could do to help Batman) and will punish you for not answering? Or better yet, he's seriously injured and you'll get to watch him die. That thought gets you to accept the video call.

...That's not Batman.

You stare at the guy who called you, and he's staring right back at you, seemingly just as confused as you are. Is that the Flash?? Isn't he supposed to be dead?

"...You're not Batman," he mumbles mostly to himself, then starts talking a bit louder. "I mean, I guess you could be Batman? I just was expecting you to look like more like my Batman. Not that he's my Batman, just, the Batman from my universe, I mean. Sorry. Are you Batman? You could totally be Batman, and just not be wearing the suit at the moment!"

"...I'm not ...Batman, he's... out, right now. You're the Flash, right? How are you- Why did it say Batman was calling? Wait, what do you mean by your universe??" This is too much information for you to process at the same time.

"Oh! Um, I'm from a parallel universe! Bruce somehow got his computer to be able to contact people in other universes and I'm pretty sure he built a portal thing, too... Anyways, I'm in the Batcave right now because Bruce is still on his way back and sent me ahead to call you, or, well, your Batman, to 'save some time', but I guess that was useless because Batman isn't here..." He stops rambling for a second, before adding: "Also I'm beginning to think Bruce just wanted to get rid of me, nothing we're doing currently is that time sensitive, and-"

"Wait, back up, did you say portal?" You cut him off before he can start monologuing again, sniffing an opportunity for escape. "Hypothetically, if someone were to go through that portal, could they stay in the other universe indefinitely, or would the universe or the person that went through the portal start falling apart or something...?"

"I don't think there's any issues with staying in a parallel universe! It's pretty cool, actually, the-" He stops himself from saying anything else. "Wait, who are you? I probably shouldn't be telling you all this. Are you, like, in a relationship with Bats? I mean, who else could get into the cave. And you're not wearing villain-who-broke-into-Batmans-lair clothes... or sidekick clothes..." He mumbles the last part to himself.

You can't stop staring at him. Just who is this guy? In spite of the weirdness of the situation it's actually really refreshing to be able to talk to someone who isn't completely stoic all the time (and hasn't kidnapped you). "I guess relationship is the most accurate? I mean, being kidnapped, locked up and kept as a fucktoy is a type of relationship, right?"

You say it as nonchalantly as possible, watching for his reaction to see if he thinks kidnapping people is normal, but it's looking good for you, because he's gaping like a fish out of water. "Y- Youre- by Batman? Bruce? That's- I don't-" He stutters, before awkwardly chuckling. "Ohhh, you're joking, right? You got me good, I almost believed you... Ha ha..." He doesn't seem entirely convinced.

You stare at him unblinkingly. What must his Batman be like for him not to believe you? Certainly nicer than yours. "Look, believe whatever you want, but could you do me a favor and open that portal? Bruce said he'd be back soon and I'd rather not be here when that happens, because he told me not to touch anything and instead of listening to him I answered your video call. He'll be super mad at me. Oh and this is the only real chance of escape I've ever gotten so I'd like to take it, please."

Something about the way you said it must have convinced him to believe you, as he mutters a quiet "...Alright," and before you can blink, he skids to a halt behind you through the already opened portal. Well, at least there's no doubt about him being the Flash, that was fast!

"Whew, that portal thing was harder to activate than I thought!" Thank god for super speed, you didn't even realize he was struggling with it. "So, um, what now? Do you just... come with me to the other Batcave?"

You look at him with stars in your eyes. Is this what it's like to be rescued by a superhero? You could cry, are you actually going to escape? No, not yet, you might trust him, but what about the other Batman in his universe?

"Sorry, just, are you sure your Batman isn't, like, secretly evil? Not keeping anyone locked up in his stupid manor?" He shakes his head vigorously. "I'm sure! He wouldn't- I know him, he would never even think about kidnapping anyone! And I definitely would know if there was someone locked in his manor, I've run through every room in his place way too often as to not have noticed someone trapped in there. He's a good guy, just, kind of stoic. And he hates fun. But he wouldn't hurt a fly! You know, unless it's an evil fly that needs to be stopped..."

Hm. Yeah, your Batman definitely hurts you sometimes and you're 99% sure you're not a supervillain or otherwise evil. "That sounds... convincing enough." You remember your shock bracelet and gesture towards it. "Um, could you please take this off of me first, before we go? It shocks me as soon as it detects that I've left the manor, and I don't want to find out if a parallel universe manor counts..."

He tries his best not to look as shocked as he feels while he inspects it carefully, then goes: "Um, wait a second, let me just-". He disappears and reappears in a flash. "So, I checked to see if maybe there's a manual for this thing somewhere, but I couldn't find anything. So I went through the entire manor, and guess what else I didn't find... Alfred!!" You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. "I guess that's what made your Batman so unhinged, sometimes I think Alfred is the only thing left standing between Batman and utter darkness..." This Alfred guy must be a total ray of sunshine then, you can't wait to meet him.

"So, what are we going to do about the shock bracelet, then? I'd rather not be in pain the entire time, but if you can't get it off that's still fine, as long as I can come with you..." "Oh, um, let me just-" Again, faster than you can blink he does something and the bracelet falls away from your wrist. Unfortunately, right as it hits the floor, an alarm goes off in the cave. Shit. You both grimace at each other, you should have know that the bracelet would send some kind of signal to Bruce as soon as it's no longer connected to you.

"Can you somehow disable his portal-making machine so he can't immediately follow us? Because I think we should leave right now, he's probably on his way back already!" You immediately go through the portal, not wanting to wait any longer. Even if Bruce can follow you, you'll have people protecting you on the other side. You think you can hear the Batmobile returning. Shit.

"Yeah, I should be able to-" You close your eyes and when you open them again, the portal to your universe is gone. A weight falls off your shoulders. "I messed with some wires on the other side, which closed the portal, but I was able to get back here just in time before it fully closed. He shouldn't be able to follow us. At least not immediately, he probably knows how to fix it, but this should buy us some time."

"Thank you so much. And I'm glad you made it back, I wouldn't want you to end up like the other Flash..." You sigh in relief. "The- What? What happened to the other Flash??" "Oh! Um, he's dead." You grimace sheepishly. "Sorry, that must be weird to hear."

His face goes pale. "You know what? I'm not even gonna ask what happened to him. I don't want to know. No, wait, I do want to know, how did he- No, don't tell me, whatever I say, do not tell me what happened to him."

You go to respond, but are interrupted by a sudden, loud: "Flash! Who is that?"

You flinch at the sound of his voice and turn around to face him. The Batman. Bruce Wayne. He only sounds like that when he's really angry. Your entire body screams at you to run and hide, or better yet, to apologize and beg. You've learned that hiding from him is pointless. He always finds you, and it only makes things worse. You freeze and stare at him with wide eyes, while he eyes you suspiciously. It's not him, you remind yourself. It's not him. He just looks the same.

He stops looking at you and turns to Flash instead. "You were supposed to contact the other Batman, not kidnap some terrified civilian." The Flash looks insulted for a second, before responding with an indignant: "Actually, I'm not the one who kidnapped them!". Batman narrows his eyes, then sighs. "Just explain why you thought it was a good idea to let a stranger into the Batcave."

You take half a step behind Flash before he begins explaining. "Turns out your other Batman kept them locked up! Your source for information and help is a kidnapper! Why are you even working with that guy? Did you know?" To his credit, Batman actually looks guilty after hearing that. "I didn't know, but I have to admit, I didn't look into him as much as I could have. Should have. Usually I look into every single detail of someone's life before working with them, but him looking and acting exactly like me must have made me lower my guard. It won't happen again, I assure you." He looks at you apologetically. Well, as apologetic as the Batman can look, which isn't very much, mostly he just looks stoic. But still, not an expression you've ever seen on your Batman, nor something he would ever say. You calm down a bit. This guy won't hurt you.

"So, um, is there anything we can do to stop him from following us?" You speak up quietly. "I mean, Flash messed with his portal machine or whatever it's called, but that won't stop him forever! He's obsessed with me, he won't just give up!" You start panicking again, maybe you were wrong to think you could ever be free.

"We'll think of something, I promise. We'll keep you safe. You have the whole Justice League on your side." The Flash nods in agreement to Batmans statement. You tentatively start feeling hopeful again, even if this doesn't work out, you'll at least have gotten a taste of freedom.

#sorry for the abrupt ending and also if some of this doesn't make sense 🙏#wait no I'll stop apologizing for my writing. Hope you have as much fun reading as I had writing this!!#yandere batman #batman x reader #yandere batfam #yandere #x reader #reader insert #yandere dc #lycheewritings #yandere!batman #yandere bruce wayne #yandere!bruce wayne #bruce wayne x reader #dark!bruce wayne #dark!batman #dark bruce wayne #dark batman

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mollymagician · 1 year

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I’m sitting here hurting my own feelings today, thinking about retired!Dream feeling more and more afraid that’s he’s not going to be able to cut it, and Hob knowing this but not knowing what to do.

Just, how wildly alien life as a human is, like the wall of sensory overwhelm that people who are suddenly immersed in a new country feel but magnified by several thousand orders of magnitude. Dream knows he has to push through it, but he doesn’t know how. And Hob knows that he’s not enough, that Dream can’t do it for him, for Hob, as much as they both wish he could. He has to do it for himself.

Hob’s taken to waking in the night and going to ferret Dream out in whatever corner of the flat he’s burrowed (usually curled up on the floor behind the couch, staring out the window into whatever he can see of the night sky…occasionally the bathroom…once-memorably- the closet.) Hob sits quietly and waits patiently, until Dream comes back from wherever his mind is attempting to go. And Hob asks him, “So, old stranger. Do you still wish to live?”

At first, he gets no response. He doesn’t really expect one, but he tries not to feel how crushing it still is. Feels it anyway.

He keeps asking. Every day, he asks.

He asks the day Dream leaves the flat for the first time, wrapped in a borrowed sweater (it stays indefinitely borrowed) and a human-contact-repelling glare.

He asks the day Dream finally speaks three (rasping, stilted, but real) sentences in a row, which Hob declared the new record to beat and insists is a cause for celebratory pizza.

He asks the day he finds Dream standing in the kitchen, transfixed, reaching out for the heat and flicker of the little candle left burning in the colored glass holder on the counter. (He stares at Hob the same way as he hovers over him in the bathroom, smearing burn gel on Dream’s burnt fingertip.)

He asks again the day Dream actually asks to eat, for the first time.

He asks again, the day Dream tells him that he’s added ‘being alone in the night’ to his tally of things he hates.

He would have asked, he knows, the day that he wakes to find Dream plastered against him in his bed, wearing that expression again, as though Hob were a fire being seen by eyes that had never really seen a flame. He would have asked that day, but Dream is already there, whispering “Ask me” against his forehead. Too quick by half, this one.

“H-hullo, old Stranger,” he whispers back, like a secret. “Do you still wish to live?” And Dream smiles.

“Death’s a mug’s game,” he says, and kisses him.

#Dreamling #retired dream au #morpheus x hob #the sandman netflix #hob gadling #dream of the endless #dream x hob #my writing

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littlemissthunderstorms · 7 months

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just some lover pt.2

alex turner x reader

aaah its definitely been awaited, here it is, i hope you enjoy! read part one if you haven’t.

p.s. i added two songs for this story, i also included markers near the end of where to start them. it’s obviously optional but i highly recommend listening to them at the right moments because i feel it adds to the emotion

———

‘alex was the one who recommended you’

“what?” you were in a state of disbelief for a moment, brows furrowed. it took you a beat to even grasp and process what it meant, what it could mean. you weren’t quite sure where to start.

you stared nick down. even though the situation was shocking, you believed him. o’malley wasn’t much for pranks like this. your palms gathered a thin layer of sweat, fingers fidgeting with your rings. you stuttered, “why would he do that?”

nick flashed you a knowing look, you know why. your face softened, eyes shimmering under the ember lighting the streetlamp emitted. oh.

the possibilities of his simple request left you all too hopeful, it was the first true glimmer of hope since you and alex separated, sparking in you like a match in a room that had been dark for much too long. your heart soared as your mind raced.

why would alex purposefully recommend you to follow them around on tour if he was over you? doubtfully, you tried to scan your mind for any reason he would’ve wanted you around that doesn’t involve him wanting you back. “wha- what if he did it because he just wants me to make good money? what if he just wants to be friends?”

nick shrugged. “it’s a possibility. but not a high one.” noticing how doubtful you looked, he took a step closer to you. “look, i’m not saying this indefinitely means something, but i’ve seen the way he’s been acting ever since you two have been apart, it’s just not right. it felt like the right thing to tell you.”

a small gust of wind blew through the quiet sidewalk. you shivered in your jacket. noticing your silence, nick spoke up again. “one of our friends is hosting a party later. you should come, we’ve all missed ya.” you returned his soft smile.

———

thirty minutes later and you and nick were making your way through the door, music thumping as the crowd chatted and danced, small fairy lights twinkling across the walls. nicks offer left you hesitant, but you decided it was good to get out of the house for something other than work.

you usually weren’t much for parties when you were younger. you preferred staying home painting or reading, and while you still felt the same from time to time, parties were for the most part nicer in your adulthood.

when you met alex, he introduced you to people who genuinely liked you for who you were, and loved talking to you. this made gatherings much more enjoyable, being able to talk and party with genuinely cool people was much better than being ignored at highschool parties by people your friends talked to.

immediately upon walking through the door, you didn’t recognize anyone there. one of nicks friends pulled him into conversation, offering him drinks and such, which left you alone. you wandered into the crowd some more, hoping to find someone you knew.

as your gaze wandered across the crowd, your heart sunk. you definitely knew the man your eyes laid upon. there, up against the far back wall was alex. it wasn’t necessarily him that made your heart drop, but the girl next to him. your stomach twisted as you watched how she batted her eyes, her palm resting on his chest as she leaned a little too close to his face when she spoke. you couldn’t quite read alex’s face for cigarette smoke had clouded the corner.

nauseated, you turned around and started making your way out through the crowd. it was clear you didn’t belong here anymore. you just wanted to leave. there must’ve been some misunderstanding, it’d left you all too hopeful. no more of this, you thought.

———

two or so weeks had passed. spring was becoming ever so present in the way the leaves started to adorn the trees in vibrant greens, the air now humid and warm. rain pattered on the large, foggy cafe window next to you as your face knitted in concentration at your laptop screen, your friend across from you not ceasing her rambling.

“are you alright?” she questioned mid sentence, taking another sip of her coffee. you sighed, back thumping against the chair as you slumped into it. “yeah, i’m just.. stressed. the bands tour manager emailed me again, i’ve got less than a week to decide if i want to take the offer.” you stared at the email in your inbox, as if staring at it for long enough would help you make a decision.

“well… let’s look at the pros and cons.” she started. “pros, it pays a lot more than your current job and you would have the

opportunity to travel more.”

you crossed your arms. “con, i would see my ex everyday.”

“pros, your ex is the one who recommended you for the job, which has to mean something.”

“cons, it was probably some grand misunderstanding, and it would be insanely awkward seeing him almost everyday.” your friend looked even more annoyed.

“but the money.”

you slumped your head down onto the table.

there were plenty of reasons in your over anxious mind you shouldn’t take the job, but all of them somehow tied back to alex, which you thought was stupid. i mean, why not accept a job that’s ultimately much more suitable for you, and offers more money? besides, the mystery of the boys recommendation lingered, you were aching to see what unfolded upon the acceptance of the offer.

redirecting your attention to your laptop, you clicked ‘new email’, flashing a grin at your friend.

———

it was now a month later, spring was in full bloom and it was the first show of the tour in your hometown. since you took the job, you had only met with the tour manager as well as a few of the other crew members. nick, being one of your good friends, had known you took the job, and was much too ecstatic. knowing he knew, you assumed the rest of the band did too.

even with this in mind, it still felt so stalker-ish knowing you hadn’t spoken a word to alex since the breakup and you were now bound to follow his band around the world on their tour. though you were still mindful of the fact that he had originally put in the request for you to practically follow him around. so, you were in fact, not a stalker.

as this storm of anxiety and reasoning swirled your mind, you wandered backstage, gathering your equipment for the show that took place in an hour or so. the area was desolate, most of the crew was unpacking vans outside and getting things organized for the openers.

as you set down the hefty bag of photography equipment, one of the rather sharp rods sticking out scraped your arm, sending crimson seeping out of a small, but deep wound.

shit. what a fucking stupid way to get hurt.

you held your arm, cheeks flushed as you hissed in pain. “are you alright?” a familiar voice boomed behind you.

you whipped your head around. of course, alex fucking turner. it was almost comedic, like it was out of a movie. of all people, it had to be alex who rounded that corner and saw you hurt. you almost laughed, then you felt like crying, then maybe throwing up.

he looked good, too good standing there in his crisp black t-shirt that hugged his arms ever so deliciously. his hair was all gelled, the sides slicked back with a messy curly quiff laying atop.

you started to get quite flustered, gulping before you spoke. you definitely stared much too long. “no- i um, no.” the boy seemed almost equally flustered, trying to keep his demeanor calm as he neared you. he chuckled. “yeah, doesn’t look like it.”

you were dumbfounded, unsure how to speak. “yikes, looks painful.” you nodded, afraid to speak in worries that you would stutter, or even worse, say something stupid like ‘hey remember when we were lovers and we broke up but now i’m the photographer for your band?’

you took a deep breath, really trying not to think thoughts. the tension was palpable, dodging unspoken words and feelings. alex’s eyes were cautious not to meet with yours. “i’m gonna go get the first aid kit, i saw it earlier.” he flashed you a smile and darted off, leaving you a flustered mess.

one thing led to another and you were now sat down in a fold out chair with alex on his knees in front of you. his brows knitted in concentration as he cradled your arm, gently tending to the wound and wrapping gauze around it. “getting your med degree?” you joked, smiling down at him.

a slight blush creeped upon his cheeks. alex noticed how nervous and giggly you were, finding it a bit adorable as he rolled his eyes, smiling as he shook his head. “nope, i just know my way around a basic first aid kit.” his smile lingered long after, ember eyes flashing up at you in a second, quickly darting back down.

his little comment evoked a similar bittersweet memory. this time, the roles were reversed, you were tending to alex, for one of his guitar strings had snapped and popped out of the bridge pin, leaving a rather deep scratch on his hand. you remembered how he teased you for wrapping his whole hand in gauze, all for a scratch. you’d told him that if he really wanted professional care, he should’ve gone to the hospital. you remembered him shaking his head, telling you he wouldn’t want it any other way.

the flashback left your heart a bit heavy, your hands shaky as alex finished up. the silence was almost bitter, tense. the boy noticed your tremors, subtly sliding his hand down your arm as to brush your fingers with his ever so softly when he pulled away. it was so discrete you could’ve missed it in a blink but sure enough, he’d done it, whether purposefully or not you weren’t sure.

“all done,” he nodded to the bandage. you mustered a grateful smile, fingertips grazing the gauze as so to examine it. once you looked back at alex, his gaze was much darker, more complex, like the sky before a storm. his demeanor shifted, mouth opening and chest rising as to speak but a voice interrupted.

“alex! we need to make sure the earpieces are working, cmon,” a member from the crew called out. he looked back to you, nodding and flashing you a sweet little smile before scrambling off.

you exhaled, noticing how your fingers still tingled from his touch.

———

it was about halfway into the show, all was well. you were having a good time chatting a bit with the other photographers and getting to know more of the crew. the show was electric, the lighting and atmosphere making for the coolest shots. alex even flashed you a little smile when he saw you in front of the stage, making your stomach swirl.

after a quick break, you joined one of your good friends from the crew on the side of the stage with your camera. you clicked a few cool shots of jamie during pretty visitors, loving how the stage lights bathed him in an eerie red.

someone nudged you, catching you a bit off guard. you turned, stomach dropping. it was the girl from the party, the one who’d been all over alex. she only looked at you once she felt your gaze. “sorry,” she shrugged, not a drop of sympathy, or really any emotion at all as she apologized. ‘i bet you are,’ you thought. you didn’t even respond, flashing her a quick smile before you immediately refocused your attention on your camera.

was she his girlfriend? i mean, she was all touchy with him at the party and now she’s backstage at his show? it would be a crazy coincidence for her not to be romantically affiliated with him in any way. this plagued your mood for the rest of the show. you hated the jealousy that coursed through you, it made you feel pathetic. alex wasn’t yours anymore, you kept reminding yourself.

———

two weeks had passed in quite a whirlwind. nothing too eventful had happened, the interactions from your old lover had been sparse. you’d bump into him talking to matt or someone, greet them, and then scurry off. you weren’t getting any answers, any hints from alex. being quite shy yourself, you weren’t confrontational enough to ask him yourself, leaving you longing for any clue from him whatsoever.

what annoyed you even more was his supposed ‘girlfriend.’ catching a mere glimpse of her made you forget what the word feminism even meant. a few nights ago, you’d accidentally bumped into her backstage, being nice and mumbling a genuine apology despite your emotions towards her. the girl glanced at you with the most utterly dissatisfied expression, ignoring you and strutting off, her white heels clacking on the ground. it made your blood boil, clearly she wasn’t much for kindness.

nick didn’t seem to like her much either, says alex’s publicist set them up to ‘promote the album’ or some bullshit. he’d also informed you she was some model from california who co hosted a gossip talk show, which is why she’d be leaving tomorrow, to go back to la. thank god.

now, you and the band resided in london for a week or so, playing three shows throughout that time. nick had invited you to a quaint little jazz bar that wasn’t far from the hotel, apparently the band and a few other friends were going.

different this time- cornelia murr

as you walked in, your senses were immediately delighted. the ever so melodic symphony of jazz filled the cozy atmosphere, warm lamps casting soft, dim light throughout the space. it was adorable, a perfect contrast to the foggy downpour. you eventually caught eye of the boys, eyes shimmering in the light as you walked over to greet them.

everyone looked pleased to see you, even alex, you noticed. his dark gaze lingered, melting over you like honey. he sat on the end of the circle booth, leaving the only free spot next to him. a bit flustered, you slid in right beside the boy, thighs brushing ever so slightly. he looked absolutely to die for, clad in a black turtleneck, his quiff so perfectly messy. he smelled divine too, like musk with notes of amber and wood.

you felt so warm sitting next to him, butterflies swirling your stomach. as the night went on, they didn’t cease. a soft ‘accidental’ brush of the hand, a lingering touch on the waist when he moved to get past you at the bar, it wasn’t enough. you wanted his hands in your hair, his warm body pressed against yours, yet you weren’t willing to admit that to yourself. so when he smiled at you and whispered, “you look nice,” you could no longer ignore the immense need you had for him, the way his ember eyes were all soft, strands of hair falling over his forehead. still, you remained composed, thanking him and redirecting your attention to your drink.

a mixture of emotions muddled your mind. you were lovesick, all over again. just like the first time you’d met him, his hair all short and face all flustered when he tried to flirt with you at that party years ago. now, you gripped your martini glass, looking back at him with the same gaze, that same eager, loving gaze he once adored you with. that same gaze he held when you gave him his number, the way he smiled at you while he added your contact into his phone almost immediately. he was so sweet that night, so eager to get to know you and it made you feel so warm inside, so appreciated. your heart sank, tears threatening to gloss your eyes.

you could barely handle the way your heart tugged, the warmth of the bar suddenly becoming stuffy and claustrophobic. you pressed your tongue against the inside of your cheek, fiddling with the napkin before you. you thought about how devastated you would be if just a year ago you knew the situation you were in with alex now. the glimmer of hope that resided in your eager heart now dulled. you were starting to believe this would go nowhere. god, you couldn’t believe how foolish you were.

noticing a tear drop onto the napkin directly below you, you quickly excused yourself, sniffling and mumbling something about needing some fresh air. once outside, you slumped against the bricks and let the tears trickle down your face in steady streams. the weather fit your mood, london fog settling over the tops of buildings, light, crisp rain falling in tandem with your tears.

you sighed, almost laughing at how absurd it all was. you felt so stupid, thinking he truly wanted you back, thinking he was calling you back to him. no, surely dreams and hopes plagued your mind, sickening your poor heart with optimism.

you wiped your tears, noticing how mascara stained your fingertips in streaks and flakes of ivory black. the door to the bar suddenly swung open, startling you a bit. alex peeked out, worrisome eyes gazing back at your teary ones. he made his way over to you, hands stuffed in his pockets. “i just wanted to see if you were okay,” he stated, voice soft as he studied your face.

talk by hozier

you weren’t quite sure how to respond, the tears a dead giveaway to your emotions. you just shrugged. his eyes looked dark, complex. if you could see beyond them you might see a ship struggling amidst a stormy sea, thunder booming down across the choppy cerulean waves. if he was the ship in the storm, you were standing at the shore, waiting for a note in a glass bottle, something, anything.

“i guess i just confused myself,” you uttered, voice wavering. alex looked hurt, as if the words spoken were a hit toward him, a dagger shoved in his heart. “how so?” he questioned.

“it’s stupid.”

“please, you can tell me.”

you shook your head. “i guess-“ you looked down, studying the old cobblestones you stood upon. “i think i just got too hopeful.” you felt sick to your stomach, gulping to put your shaky voice at ease.

he stepped towards you, whispering your name. “look at me, please.” you did so, his eyes twinkling back at yours, strands of damp hair sticking to his forehead. “i’m confused too.” you furrowed your eyebrows. he continued. “i’m confused to why i just lost the love of my life.” his face was now mere inches away from yours. he spoke like he was almost mad, voice laced with emotion, barely above a whisper.

your heart hammered in your ears, the tumultuous swirl of thoughts being ignored momentarily, focusing on nothing but his voice, his eyes, the way his hand now lightly held your chin. “i’m confused to why she’s been in front of me all this time and i haven’t fucking done a thing. i’m confused to why i’m looking at her crying before me right now, how i let this happen.”

your breath hitched. he continued to speak. “i’m confused to why i haven’t told her i still love her, that i never once stopped.” he laced his fingertips in your hair, warm hand cradling your face. you were at a loss for words, no ability to string words together in a sentence that could possibly begin to convey how you felt.

so instead, you pressed your lips to his.

———

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR READING!! this is the last part, but i’ll probably write a little epilogue type thingy. hope you enjoyed my loves, sleep tight.

taglist (let me know if you want to be added/removed)- @ultragirrl @inmyownfantasywrld @almluv @raven-ql @ohladymoon @yourstartreatment @missbabyjay @andulina567 @blair-s-world @rentsturner @indierockgirrl @kittyrob0t @kennedy-brooke

#Spotify #alex turner #alex turner x reader #arctic monkeys #humbug #alex turner fluff #alex turner one shot #suck it and see #tlsp #alex turner smut #alex turner fanfic

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shayyprasad · 6 months

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make it up to you | peter parker

summary: peter forgets a special day, and now he's gotta make it up.

you'd barely gotten any sleep last night, that's how excited you were for this. today was your's and peter's anniversary, and you simply couldn't wait. the moment your alarm went off, you were smiling.

despite the fact you'd gone to bed extra late last night, because you were finishing up peter's gift, you didn't have any problems waking up. you brushed your teeth first, deciding to take a quick shower after.

you didn't normally dress up, but today was an exception. you also weren't a dress type of girl, but today was an exception for that, too. adding some makeup, (including eyeliner because that was a must), you declared yourself ready.

you were bouncing on you toes, on the verge of squealing. peter had promised that there was something waiting for you.

and you loved suprises.

"ms. y/n," friday spoke, "your father is asking if you'd like a ride to school."

"um... sure! tell him i'll be right there, okay? thanks!"

you grabbed your backpack, swinging it over you shoulder before exiting your room and getting in the elevator.

"hey, peanut," he smiled, kissing the top of your head. "whatcha all dressed up for? a boy?" he asked, very well knowing you already had a boyfriend, wiggling his eyebrows.

you rolled your eyes, "no! well, yes. it's me and peter's anniversary."

"two years right? gotta hand it to him."

"what?"

"well, as your father, i must say that dealing with you certainly isn't the easiest."

"hey!" you frowned, swatting him.

"and i'm guessing the gift is for him, too?"

"yes! wanna see?"

"sure," he said, taking the object out of the bag. you blushed deeply, waiting for him to say something.

"it's a scrapbook," you said quietly.

in it were your's and peter's most intimate moment, ones where love was fulling the the frame. some were taken by peter, and some by you. there was an assortment, in no particular order, and stickers and doodles decorated the sides, filling up the spaces.

"wow, peanut," he said, looking up, "this is really sweet, how long did it take?"

"you shrugged, 2-3."

"hours? that's it?"

"...months."

he gaped, "pepper never did anything like this for me!" to friday he said, "hey, fri, tell pep we need to have a talk."

"ew! dad!"

"come on, i got somewhere to be, sweet-pea."

"where?"

"i dunno, just some lame meeting."

"hey... daddy?" you asked, after getting settled in the car.

"uh-huh?"

"you think... you think he'll like it?"

"he'd be stupid not to."

you nodded wordlessly, and the rest of the ride there was in silence, not a uncomfortable one. after a bit, the car stopped and you got out.

"have a good day," tony winked.

"you, too."

"and please, for the love of god, don't get off in the janitor's closet."

you rolled your eyes, "same goes to you and pep."

"i got a whole damn tower, i'll find better places than that."

"okay, gross. bye, now," you waved as he drove off (definitely over the speed limit.)

you felt giddy as you walked over to peter's locker, and he greeted you with a kiss. "hey, angel."

"hi, peter!"

"what's this?"

"your gift!"

"for- for... what?"

your heart indefinitely broke.

"oh. y-you don't-?"

he held the baggie tightly, brows furrowed.

you shook your head, "it's our anniversary."

"oh, right. oh. i k-knew that- i-i have a, um, a gift for, too! i just... i forgot it! yeah. yeah! at home! in- in my bedroom... in the closet... that- that's, yeah. yep."

"you forgot," you deadpanned.

"no! well, yes. i'm so sorry, i was patrolling late, and it slipped my mind-"

"it's okay. i get it," you shrugged, trying to brush it off. "spider-man comes first, right?"

it was silly to admit, but you hoped that he'd noticed that you'd dressed up. was it a silly thing to get excited about?

"no, i-"

"it's fine. you had to patrol. that's not on you. i guess... i dunno. i thought maybe that you'd... never-mind. i'll see you later. bye, peter."

"aw, y/n, babe-"

but you were already gone.

you felt so immensely guilty, was it really fair to blame it on him? maybe not.

maybe.

it certainly didn't feel right. he was out saving lives, what was this compared to that? you'd probably started this stupid fight (could you even call it that?) over nothing.

but on the other hand, peter had a responsibility to your relationship. it's not that you really even cared about the gift, because you didn't, it's because you cared about his love. just him remembering. he'd made a promise when you found out, that spider-man wouldn't get in the way of things.

this was a big deal to you, and you weren't being petty, just disappointed.

oh, well. too late to do anything about it now.

you sighed again, deciding to deal with it later.

soon enough, the entire day had gone by, and you were waiting outside for happy to pick you up. all day, peter had been avoiding you. you weren't stupid. you could see ned and peter whispering to each other when they thought you weren't looking.

you hadn't meant to avoid peter, either, but it was currently to awkward to clear the air.

what a great anniversary.

"hi, uncle happy," you said, not trying to hide the glum tone in your voice.

"hey- woah, there. you okay?"

"yep."

"tony said it was your anniversary. 2 years, right?"

you let out a frustrated scream, making happy flinch.

"jeezus christ, don't distract the driver!"

"it sucked! today sucked! i was so excited and then it just turned out to be one sucky mess! he said he had a suprise! and he forgot everything! sucky. everything fucking sucks."

"first, you're lucky steve isn't here. and second, do you wanna talk about it? and not just say a word that has the root word of 'suck,' y/n?"

"he forgot," you shrugged.

"peter? peter forgot?"

"yeah."

"look, i'll be honest. that doesn't seem like peter. i don't think he'd ever intentionally do anything to hurt you, y/n. you know that, yeah? that kid is head over heels for you. but, hey, i don't want you beating yourself up over it. go to school tomorrow, talk it out, and go from there. it's easy; you love him, he loves you. if that's enough, it'll carry you through."

you inhaled, "yeah. yeah, okay. you're right. i-i'll talk to him!"

"see, you got the right idea. communication is key."

"thanks, uncle happy, you're the best."

"i know."

so you went home, and stressed about what you were going to say. then forgot about it. stressed some more. stress ate while stressing. forgot again. napped. stressed. drafted hundreds of texts you were to nervous to send. forgot one more time. did homework and forgot. read.

and you were still reading.

you jumped slightly when you heard tapping on the window, knowing it was probably peter (since he was the only one who ever showed up at your window announced) and went over to unlock it.

"um, hi, peter," you stammered out, but he wasted no time grabbed you and swinging. you screamed. obviously.

is he kidnapping me? he's gonna kill me for this? no, wait, he's too nice. hiring someone to?

and then you weren't in the air anymore, now you were on... a roof? as you looked around, you took in the sight of fairy lights all around, making you do a double take. you blinked and noticed a picnic blanket, with several foods layed out.

suddenly, all the anger you had at him for kidnapping you dissipated.

"is this... is this for me?"

"no, it's for my other girlfriend. i just got the two of you mixed up." you shot him a glare and he quickly apologized.

"do you, uh, like it? i wanted to give you something special. because you derserve it. a-and i'm a shit boyfriend who can't even treat his girlfriend right. i-i'm so sorry, angel. i didn't mean to forget, this was important to me, too. i just- i- it got in the way, spider-man did. i know i promised you that it wouldn't and i was trying so hard to make sure it wouldn't, and... and i broke my promise.

"there isn't an excuse for that, i know. i'm taking responsibility for it. but- but i love you. and i want to make it up to you."

there were so many things you wanted to say, so you settled for this; "you love me?"

he blushed, "yeah. a lot. y-you don't have to say it back, and i don't want to pressure you, but i just... i wanted you to know."

you were smiling so damn hard as you kissed him, short and sweet. "i love you, too. a lot. and i'm not mad. i- i thought you'd be mad at me, honestly."

"what? why?" his brows furrowed.

"because... i was being selfish? it's not fair of me to ask you to put us in front of the world."

"you weren't being selfish, and y/n, you are my world. this is the least i can do, you should be able to have a boyfriend that can do the bare minimum," which caused you to laugh.

"bare minimum, parker? you are the sole reason that us girls have such high expectations."

peter looked confused, and bless him, but you didn't bother to elaborate. "how about we enjoy that date, huh?"

"okay," he grinned, kissing you again, "and by the way, i did notice you dressed up. you look nice in that. not that you wouldn't look nice in anything else, i'm just saying-"

"gods, i love you."

#spiderman #tom holland x reader #tom holland #peter parker #fluff #light angst

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canmom · 4 months

Text

The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere, 000-012

Or, what if that mural was the heart of a web serial.

I'm reading The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere, thanks largely to the enthusiasm of @azdoine and @lukore on my dash over the last few months.

This is absolutely not gonna be a liveblog in the level of detail of the great Umineko liveblog project. Rather I'm gonna be aiming at something like the comics comints series or those occasional posts on anime. Or indeed what I wrote about Worth The Candle last year. I must create a robot whose purpose is to watch to see if I start writing detailed plot summaries and hit me with a stick labelled 'remember you have a job now'.

That outta the way, let's talk flower!

youtube

No, not that flower!

I will start with an anecdote. When I was at university, I ended up attending a talk by court alchemist senescence researcher Aubrey de Grey, who at that time did not yet have a 'sexual harassment allegations' section on his Wikipedia page. The main thing that struck me at the time was his rather spectacularly long beard. But I did listen to his talk about ending aging.

de Grey's schtick is that he, like many people in the transhumanist milieu, believes that medical technology is on the cusp of being able to prevent aging sufficiently well to prolong human lifespans more or less indefinitely. He believes that the different processes of aging can be understood in terms of various forms of accumulating cellular 'damage', and that these will begin to be addressed within present human lifespans, buying time for further advancements - so that (paraphrasing from memory) 'the first immortals have already been born'. He has some pretty graphs to demonstrate this point.

At that talk, one of the audience members asked de Grey the (in my view) very obvious question about whether access to this technology would be distributed unevenly, creating in effect an immortal ruling class. de Grey scoffed at this, saying he always gets this question, and basically he didn't think it would be a big deal. I forget his exact words, but he seemed to assume the tech would trickle down sooner or later, and this was no reason not to pursue it.

I'm sure de Grey is just as tired of being reminded of how unbalanced access to medical technology is in our current world, or the differences in average life expectancy between countries.

So, I was very strongly reminded of de Grey as The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere laid out its major thematic concerns and characters. I was also put in mind of many online arguments in the transhumanist milieu about whether it would be a good thing, in principle, to end death.

In particular, of course, comes to mind transhumanist Nick Bostrom's short story The Fable of the Dragon-Tyrant, in which death is likened to a huge dragon that demands to be fed trains full of humans every day. In the story, humanity's scientists secretly build a giant gun to kill the dragon. Naturally, despite all the doubters and naysayers who foolishly feel obliged to justify the existence of the dragon, the gun works. Bostrom's imagery is incredibly heavy-handed (particularly the trains à la Auschwitz), but just in case you didn't get it, he also spells out the moral explicit at the end: basically, every day not spent putting resources to abolishing death is adding up more and more bodies to the pile of people who don't get to be immortal.

So far, Flower seems to be shaping up to be a critical intervention into that milieu, with a much more grounded view of death and a much stronger model of society - admittedly not a high bar but it's going good so far!

At the time of writing this commentary, I have read the prologue and first two six-chapter arcs, namely Mankind's Shining Future (1-6) and Pilgrimage to the Deep (7-12).

the general shape of things

We are introduced - from the perspective of sardonic, introverted Su, who is going to be the protagonist of our time loop - to a group of brilliant young medical wizards, who have just been invited to visit the headquarters of a secret society whose mission is precisely to abolish death. Su's grandfather was some kind of controversial luminary who was expelled this organisation, and he also did something to her, which is giving her some kind of ulterior motive to find her way into this society.

We know pretty much from the outset that this is a time loop scenario: Su has been explicitly given the opportunity to replay the scenario in the hopes of find an alternative outcome, by some kind of presently mysterious parties. This first part is the 'control' loop, i.e. probably more or less how things went down 'originally'.

I believe Umineko is an explicit inspiration for this story, and the influence is pretty evident. But parallels with the Locked Tomb series, especially Gideon the Ninth, are also quite noticeable. @lukore spoke of it as the STEM to Locked Tomb's humanities, and I can already kinda see it, although we haven't got into the real meat of the scenario yet. This story began serialisation four years ago, making the two works roughly contemporary. The latest chapter was published in the last couple of weeks - no idea if I've arrived just in time for the ending!

Stylistically, it's generally pretty heavy on dialogue and long asides. The characters are a bunch of mega nerds who love to have big philosophical and political discussions, but their dynamics are well enough realised and their dynamics clear enough that it can double up as naturalistic characterisation. So far, the discussions have been interesting to read.

Below I'm going to make some notes and comments on various elements of the setting and story. In a followup post (because it got too long) I'm going to talk a lot about entropy. Perhaps you will find this interesting!

the world

The first few chapters are dedicated pretty hard to exposition. We find ourselves in a distant-future setting - one in which it seems reality has totally collapsed and then been rebuilt using magic, creating a somewhat oddball universe which lacks things like the element iron, and also electromagnetism. This seems like it would have pretty severe implications for just about everything!

However, the 'ironworkers' have, after producing a series of trial and error 'lower planes' that didn't quite get it right, landed on a fairly close approximation of how things used to be on the old world. Though by 'fairly close approximation' I mean like... it's a bowl-shaped world and the sun and stars are artificial lanterns. But still, there are humans, and they seem to work more or less like we're used to humans working, apart from the whole 'magic' thing.

So, an alt-physics setting. Praise Aealacreatrananda, I love that shit.

While electromagnetism might be out, the more abstract physical principles like thermodynamics still apply, and the humans of this universe have managed to find analogues to a number of things in our world. Instead of computers, they have 'logic engines' which run on magic. Horses seem to have made it in, so we get delightful blends of historical and futuristic concepts like a self-driving computer-controlled horse-drawn carriage taxi.

The biggest difference is of course that in this setting, magic - more on that in a bit - has solved most medical problems and humans routinely live to around 500. The setting is ostensibly a semi-post-scarcity one, although a form of money exists in 'luxury debt', which can be exchanged for things like taxi rides, café food and trips on the space elevator.

Politically, we are told that the world has enjoyed a few hundred years of general peace, broken in living memory by a revolution which put an end to a regime of magical secrecy. There are lots of countries, and an alliance overseeing them.

There's a few other oddities in this world. Something called a 'prosognostic event' can happen if you see someone who has the same face as you, and whatever this is, it's bad enough news that everyone is constantly reminded to veil their faces in public and there's some kind of infant 'distinction treatment' to mitigate the risk. Given that, in the regular world, nothing particularly bad would happen if you ran into a long-lost identical twin, it suggest there is probably something a little fucky about how humans work in this world!

There's evidently a fair bit of effort put into the worldbuilding of fictional countries and historical periods. The important elements seem to be roughly along the lines of:

our world is currently in what they call the 'old kingdoms' period, which is poorly remembered;

next up comes an 'imperial' period of high transhumanist shenanigans in which society was ruled by 'gerontocrats' who got exclusive access to the longevity treatment, but this all somehow led to a huge disaster which destroyed og earth;

the survivors built the Mimikos where humanity currently lives using magic and created some kind of huge iron spike that holds the universe together; there was subsequently a 'fundamentalist' period in which a strict cutoff point was put on human lifespans and a lot of the wackier magic was banned;

now we're onto a new era of openness following a small revolution, while the major political structures remain largely intact.

Writing a far-future setting is hard, because trying to deal with the weight of history without the story getting bogged down with worldbuilding details is a fiddly line to walk. The Dying Earth series of Jack Vance might be a relevant point of comparison. Vance leaves the historical details vague - there are endless old kingdoms and strange artefacts and micro-societies for Cugel and co. to stumble on. Far more important than the specifics of history is establishing the vibe of a world that's seen an unimaginable amount of events layered on top of each other and is honestly a bit tired.

Flower makes things a bit more concrete and generally manages to make this work decently well. I do appreciate the asides where Su talks about, for example, the different architectural styles that layer up to make a place, or the way a technique has been refined. It establishes both that Su is the kind of person to notice this sort of thing, and also helps the world feel lived-in.

the names

The story doesn't do a lot with language. The story is written in English, and the narration will occasionally make reference to how things are phrased (e.g. how divination predates the suffix -mancy). We can probably make the standard assumption that this is all translated from $future_language, with the notional translator making a suitable substitution of whatever linguistic forms exist in that language.

The characters are named in a variety of languages. Our main character's full name is Utsushikome of Fusai. We're told that this is "an old name from Kutuy, and means something like 'mysterious child'" - so Kutuyan is one of the languages spoken in this world. It's blatantly got the same phonotactics as Japanese, and indeed if I search up 'Utsushikome', I find an obscure historical figure called Utsushikome-no-Mikoto, wife of the Emperor Kōgen; she has no article on English Wikipedia, but she does have a brief one on Japanese wiki. Just as Su says about Kutuyan, 'Utsushikome' is written 欝色謎 in Japanese, but it relies on archaic readings of those characters and wouldn't read that way in modern Japanese. We could perhaps assume a good old translation convention is in effect where Kutuyan is replaced with Japanese.

A lot of characters have Greek names, as do various setting elements. One exception is Kamrusepa, or Kam, who is named for an ancient goddess of medicine worshipped by the Hittites and Luwians. I know basically fuck all about Hittites and Luwians but it's a cool little nod to mythology, and it won't be the only one!

I'll run down a list of characters and my comments about them in a bit. But many are named after gods or other mythological figures.

the magic

Most of the divergences come from magic existing. Certain humans are 'arcanists', who are able to use the 'Power', which is a magic system with a highly computational flavour. Thanks to Su's expositional asides, we know that an incantation is something like a short program written in cuneiform with the ability to gather information, perform maths, and manipulate particles. An example we are given is a spell called "entropy-denying", which is the following string of cuneiform:

"…(𒌍𒌷𒀭)(𒌍𒁁𒀭)𒅥𒌈𒆜𒈣𒂠, 𒋢𒀀𒅆𒌫𒃶,𒈬𒊹."

We're told that spells always start with phrases ending in 𒀭, and end in 𒊹. Beyond that, I'm not sure how far the author has actually worked out the syntax of this magic system - probably not in too much detail! Seems like the kind of thing it's better to leave vague, but also she seems like kind of nerd who would (positive). It's conceptually a reasonable magic system for a world where more or less realistic physics applies.

The use of unusual scripts for a magic system isn't that unusual - the old European occultists who wrote the [Lesser] Key of Solomon loved to write on their magic circles in Hebrew, and in modern times we could mention Yoko Taro's signature use of the Celestial Alphabet for example - but the specific use of cuneiform here seems like it might be a little more significant, because a little later in the story the characters encounter a mural depicting The Epic of Gilgamesh, which of course was recorded on cuneiform tablets. Remains to be seen exactly what these allusions will mean!

The magic system is divided into various disciplines defined by the different ways they approach doing magic, with the disciplines breaking down broadly along the same lines as the modern scientific disciplines. For example, our protagonist is a thanatomancer ("necromancer" having become unfashionable), which is the discipline dealing with death; she's specifically an entropic thanatomancer, distinguished by their framework viewing death as the cessation of processes.

Magic relies on an energy that they refer to as 'eris' (unknown relation to the Greek goddess of strife and discord). We are told that eris must be carefully apportioned across the elements of a spell or shit blows up, that it can be stored, and it accumulates gradually enough that you don't want to be wasteful with it, but so far given little information about where it comes from.

Magic in this story generally seems to act as a kind of 'sufficiently advanced technology'. It's very rules-based, and used for a lot of mundane ends like operating computers or transport. Advancement in magic is something like a combination of basic research and software development. But the thing that makes it a magic system and not merely alt-physics is that it's at least a little bit personal: it must be invoked by an individual, and only certain people can operate the magic. We're told a little about how wizards are privileged in some societies, indoctrinated in social utility in others, and expected to be inconspicuous in the present setting. It's not clear yet if you need some kind of special innate capacity to do the magic, or if it's just a matter of skill issue.

With one exception, our main characters are a gaggle of wizards, and exceptionally skilled students at that. They're at an elite institution, carrying high expectations, even if they are themselves fairly dismissive of the pomp and ceremony. They have grandiose plans: Kamrusepa in particular is the main voice of the 'death should be abolished' current.

the cast

We're entering a cloistered environment with high political stakes hanging off of it. Even if I hadn't already heard it described as a murder mystery, it would feel like someone will probably be murdered at some point, so lets round up our future suspects.

Su (Utsushikome) is our protagonist and first-person POV. She's telling this story in the first past tense, with a style calling to mind verbal narration; she'll occasionally allude to future events so we know for sure narrator!Su knows more than present!Su. She's got a sardonic streak and she likes long depressing antijokes, especially if the punchline is suicide. She will happily tell us she's a liar - so maybe her narration isn't entirely reliable, huh.

Su is more than a little judgemental; she doesn't particularly like a lot of her classmates, or people in general, and generally the first thing she'll tell you about a character is how well she gets on with them. She introduces the theme of 'wow death sucks' in the first paragraph, but she is, at least at this point, pessimistic that anyone will manage to do anything about it for good.

Her magical specialisation is entropic thanatomancy, roughly making processes go again after they working coherently.

Her name is a reference to an obscure Japanese empress, as discussed above.

Ran is Su's bestie from the same home country. She is generally pretty on the level. She likes romance novels and she is pretty sharp at analysing them. She will cheerfully team up with Su to do a bit or bait someone else when an argument gets going.

Her magical specialisation is Divination, which is sort of a more fundamental layer of magic, about gathering information by any means. In medicine it's super advanced diagnostics.

Her name is too short to pin down to a specific allusion. Could be one of a couple of disciple of Confucius such as Ran Geng, or a Norse goddess of the sea.

Kam (Kamrusepa) is the de facto class prez and spotlight lover. She's hardcore ideological, the story's main voice of the de Grey/Bostrom death-abolishing concept so far - I think she straight up calls someone a 'deathist' at some point. She loves to tell everyone what she thinks about everything, and getting the last word.

Her magical specialisation is Chronomancy, so time magic. It's described as secretive and byzantine, but also it can do stuff like (locally?) rewind time for about five minutes. No doubt it has something to do with the time loop.

As mentioned above, she's named after a fairly obscure ancient deity of healing and magic.

Theo (Theodoros) is a fairly minor character. He's scatterbrained and easily flustered, he has a similar background to our protagonist, and he's not great with people. His name is shared with a number of ancient Greek figures, so it's hard to narrow it down to one allusion. I don't think his magic school has been mentioned.

Ptolema is a cheery outgoing one, someone who Su dismisses as an airhead. And she is at least easy to bait into saying something ill-considered. Her specialisation is applying magic to surgery. As a character, she tends to act as a bit of a foil to the others. Bit of a valley girl thing going on.

'Ptolema' is presumably a feminised version of the renowned Greek philosopher Ptolemy.

Seth is the jock to Ptolema's prep, and our goth protag Su doesn't particularly like him either. ...lol maybe that's too flippant, I may be misapplying these US high school stereotypes. To be a little more precise then, he's pretty casual in demeanour, flirty, likes to play the clown. He specialises in Assistive Biomancy, which revolves around accelerating natural healing processes.

Seth is named for either the Egyptian god (domain: deserts, violence and foreigners) or an Abrahamic figure, the third son of Adam and Eve granted by God after the whole Caim killing Abel thing.

Ophelia is someone Su describes as 'traditionally feminine' - soft-spoken, demure etc. (Gender in this world appears to be constructed along broadly similar lines to ours). Indeed we get a fairly extended description of her appearance. Her specialisation is Alienist Biomancy, which means introducing foreign elements to healing (not entirely sure how that differs from the Golemancy mentioned later).

Ophelia is of course a major character in Shakespeare's Hamlet, best known for going mad and dying in a river.

Fang is the only nonbinary member of the class, noted as the most academically successful. They're not on the expedition, but the characters discuss them a little in their absence, so maybe they'll show up later. It seems like they have a bit of a rebellious streak. Their magical specialisation is not mentioned.

Fang is a regular ol' English word, but I gave it a search all the same and found there's an ancient Chinese alchemist of that name. She is the oldest recorded woman to do an alchemy in China, said to know how to turn mercury into silver.

Lilith is the teenaged prodigy in computers logic engines, and Mehit is her mother who accompanies her on the trip. They've got a big Maria and Rosa (of Umineko) dynamic going on, with Mehit constantly scolding Lilith and trying to get her to obey social norms, though in contrast to Maria, Lilith is a lot more standoffish and condescending to the rest of the gang. Lilith specialises in 'Golemancy', which means basically medical robotics - prosthetic limbs and such. She spends most of her time fiddling with her phone logic engine, and will generally tell anyone who talks to her that they're an idiot. Sort of a zoomer stereotype.

Lilith is named for the Abrahamic figure, the disobedient first wife of Adam who was banished and, according to some Jewish traditions, subsequently became a demon who attacks women at night. There may be some connection between Lilith and the lioness-headed Mesopotamian chimeric monster Lamashtu, which I mention because Mehit is an Egyptian and Nubian lion goddess.

'Golemancy' is probably playing on the popular fantasy idea of a 'golem' as a kind of magic robot, but given the Jewish allusion in Lilith's name here, I do wonder a little bit if it's going to touch on the Jewish stories of the Golem which inspired it - a protective figure with a specific religious dimension.

There are some other characters but they're not part of the main party on their way to the function, so I won't say much about them just yet. Also it's entirely possible I went and forgot an entire classmate or something, big whoops if so.

the events

In true Umineko tradition, the beginning of the story narrates in great detail how the protagonists make their way to the place where the plot is going to happen.

To be fair, there's a lot of groundwork to be laid here, and the characters' discussions do a lot to lay out the concerns of the story and sketch out the setting, not to mention establish the major character relations. A murder mystery takes a certain amount of setup after all! There's plenty of sci-fi colour to be had in the 'aetherbridge', which is a kind of space elevator that lifts you up to a high altitude teleporter network. (It's technically not teleportation but 'transposition', since teleportation magic also exists in the story, with different restrictions! But close enough for government work.)

They go to a huge space citadel, which is kind of a transport hub; some cloak and dagger shit happens to hide the route they must take to the mysterious secret organisation. They find a strange room with a missing floor and a mural of the Epic of Gilgamesh, albeit modified to render it cyclic. What does it meeaaaan?

The idea of a secret society of rationalists is one that dates back to the dawn of ratfic, in HPMOR. It was kinda dumb then, but it works a lot better here, where we're approaching the wizard circle from outside. The phrase 'Great Work' has already been dropped. I love that kind of alchemical shit so I'm well into finding out what these wizards are plotting.

the dying

A lot of the discussions revolve around the mechanics of death. Essentially the big problem for living forever is information decay. Simple cancers can be thwarted fairly easily with the magic techniques available, but more subtle genetic slippages start to emerge after the first few hundred years; later, after roughly the 500 year mark, a form of dementia becomes inevitable. It's this dementia in particular that the characters set their sights on curing.

One thing that is interesting to me is that, contra a lot of fantasy that deals with necromancy (notably the Locked Tomb series), there appears to be no notion of a soul in this world whatsoever. The body is all that there is. Indeed, despite all the occult allusions in the character names, there is very little in the way of religion for that matter. Even the 'fundamentalism' is about an idea of human biological continuity that shouldn't be messed with too much.

Su distinguishes three schools of thought on death, namely 'traditional', 'transformative' and 'entropic'. The 'traditional' form attempts to restore limited function - classic skeleton shit. 'Transformative' sees death as a process and uses dead tissues together with living in healing. Su's 'entropic' school broadens this 'process' view to consider death as any kind of loss of order - a flame going out as much as an organism dying. At the outset of the story, Su has discovered a 'negentropic' means to restore life to an organism, which she considers promising, even if for now it only works for fifteen minutes.

This is an interesting perspective, but the devil is in the details. Because processes such as life or flames, necessarily, result in a continuous increase in the thermodynamic entropy of the universe. And yet this idea of death-as-loss-of-order does make a kind of sense, at a certain level of abstraction.

Elaborating on this got rather too long for this post, and I think it can stand alone, so I'm going to extract it to a followup post.

the comments

As is probably evident by the length of this post, I am very intrigued by The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere. The setting is compelling, and it seems like it's got the willingness to bite at the chewy questions it raises instead of acting like it has all the answers, which is I think one of the most crucial elements for this kind of scifi. I like how unabashed it is at having its characters straight-up debate shit.

Of course, this all depends where they go with it. There's so many ways it could be headed at this point. I hear where it's going is 'dark yuri' and 'Umineko-inspired murder mystery', so that should be really juicy fun, but I do end up wondering what space that will leave to address the core theme it's laid out in these first few chapters.

Overall, if this and Worth the Candle are what modern ratfic is like, the genre is honestly in pretty good shape! Of course, I am reading very selectively. But this is scratching the itch of 'the thing I want out of science fiction', so I'm excited to see where the next 133 chapters will take me.

Though all that said, I ended up writing this post all day instead of reading any other chapters or working, so I may need to rein it in a bit.

#fiction #web serials #the flower that bloomed nowhere #tftbn #sff

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spanishskulduggery · 5 months

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Adjective Placement in Spanish Overview

With regards to adjective placement, I know I linked that bigger post I made about what the placement of adjectives generally mean but I'll give a very brief overview and if anyone has any specific questions please let me know.

IN GENERAL for like 70-ish percent of the time, adjectives go behind the noun in Spanish. These are your basic everyday adjectives that just describe nouns; el gato negro "the black cat", la mujer alta "the tall woman", los datos importantes "the important data", las tormentas peligrosas "the dangerous storms"

And again, IN GENERAL, if an adjective precedes the noun it is as if you bolded or italicized the adjective. It makes the adjective really stand out because of how out of the ordinary it is. It's very commonly used in poetry, writing, or for hyperbole:

La cruel realidad = The cruel reality La fea verdad = The ugly truth Mis sinceras disculpas = My sincere apologies Mi más sentido pésame = My most heartfelt condolences/regrets

If you were looking at it more poetically you could think of "blue sky"... el cielo azul "the blue sky" is everyday Spanish, very typical. Saying el azul cielo "the blue sky" draws the eye to azul making it seem like "blue" is the most important or noteworthy thing about it

You typically see this kind of construction in everyday Spanish with expressions of gratitude, grief, horror, deep love, or any very strong emotions or when you're trying to make an impact

(More below)

Note: This will impact certain aspects of grammar, such as the nouns that are actually feminine but take a general masculine article such as el agua, el arma, el hada, el hambre, el águila etc.

As an example:

El hada madrina = Fairy Godmother La buena hada = The good fairy

To further explain this rule - el hada is written with a masculine article. This is because it has its vocal stress on the first syllable and begins with A- or HA- [where H is silent]; and treating it as feminine would cause the sounds to run together, so the el adds a kind of phonetic break to preserve the sound; but in plural it will be las hadas "fairies/fey"

A word like this would still retain its normal functions as a feminine word, thus el agua bendita "holy water", el águila calva "bald eagle", el ave rapaz "bird of prey", and then in this case el hada madrina "fairy godmother"

By adding a separate word in front, you interrupt that la + A/HA construction and create a hiatus in the sounds already... so you can then treat it like a normal feminine noun, la buena hada "the good fairy"

You might also see this with grande "big" and its other form gran "great/large", el águila grande "the big eagle" vs. la gran águila "the great eagle"

Moving aside from the normal grammar, we now enter the exceptions. First - determiners.

There are a handful of adjectives that are known as determiners which come before the noun and they provide an important function in communicating things like number, possession, and location

The most common determiners include:

Definite articles [el, la, los, las]

Indefinite articles [un, una, unos, unas]

Possessives [mi, tu, su, nuestro/a, vuestro/a]

Demonstratives [este/esta, ese/esa/, aquel/aquella]

Interrogatives [qué, cuál/cuáles, cuánto/a] (Also work as exclamatory determiners which just means ¡! instead of ¿?)

Cardinal numbers [uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco etc]

Ordinal numbers [primer/primera, segundo/a, tercer/tercera, cuarto/a, quinto/a, etc]

There are also a few determiners of quantity such as mucho/a "a lot/many/much", todo/a "all/every", cada "each", vario/a "various/many", poco/a "few/less", tal "such", tan "so much" / tanto/a "so many", algún/alguna and ningún/ninguna etc.

And it will generally apply to más and menos "more" and "less", and sometimes mejor/peor "better/worse"

Note: With possessives is that there are two forms depending on adjective placement:

mi amigo/a = my friend mis amigos / amigas = my friends un amigo mío = a friend of mine una amiga mía = a friend of mine [f] unos amigos míos = a few friends of mine unas amigas mías = a few friends [f] of mine

All the pronouns have their own version of this possessive pattern

mi(s) and mío/a, tu(s) and tuyo/a, su(s) and suyo/a, and then nuestro/a and vuestro/a are the same but the adjective placement is different

As an example - nuestro país "our country" vs. el país nuestro "the country of ours", or nuestros familiares "our family members" vs. unos familiares nuestros "some family members of ours"

A common religious example - Nuestra Señora "Our Lady" and then el padrenuestro "the Our Father prayer"

The possessives that come after the noun are usually translated as "of mine/yours/his/hers/ours" etc.

You can also see a few determiners/adjectives in different places in a phrase like - un viejo amigo mío "an old friend of mine" vs. mi viejo amigo "my old friend"

As mentioned in the very beginning there are a handful of exceptions

Most notably:

viejo/a = old / elderly

antiguo/a = ancient, old / antique, old

mismo/a = same / self

gran = great, grand grande = large

And includes propio/a "own / appropriate", as well as bueno/a "good" or malo/a "bad". I discussed a lot of these in more depth in the previous posts and in the one linked above

In many cases the exact meaning is different, even if it's slight - such as el hotel grande "the big hotel" vs. el Gran Hotel "the Grand Hotel"

bueno/a and malo/a are generally either "good" and "kind", or "bad" and "unkind", though the meanings can kind of blur together... as something like la buena hada "the good fairy" isn't so far off from el hada buena "the nice fairy"

When places before though bueno/a turns to buen + masculine, and malo/a turns to mal + masculine

As an example - un buen augurio "good omen", un mal presagio "a bad omen/portent"

.....but in feminine it looks like you'd expect: buena suerte "good luck" vs. mala suerte

Similarly, and one I didn't include the first time is cualquier/cualquiera

cualquier persona = any person una persona cualquiera = an ordinary person

cualquier in front - regardless of gender - means "any", literally "whichever"

cualquiera in back comes out as "ordinary" or colloquially "any old" [such as un beso cualquiera "an ordinary kiss" / "any old kiss"], or in the case of people it could be like "a person of dubious/unknown background" sort of like "they could be anyone"...

And then you run into what I would consider "collocations" which is another word for a set noun or expression

There are some words/expressions that have the adjective in a specific place and you can't really change it or it sounds weird, so you sort of have to learn them as specific units to remember:

las bellas artes = fine arts [lit. "beautiful arts"]

(de) mala muerte = "backwater", "poor / middle of nowhere", a place of ill repute or somewhere very remote or inconsequential [lit. "of a bad death"]

a corto plazo = short-term

a largo plazo = long-term

(en) alta mar = (on) the high seas

alta calidad = high quality

baja calidad = low quality

Blancanieves = Snow White (the character/fairlytale)

la mala hierba, las malas hierbas = weeds [lit. "bad grasses"; plants that grow without you wanting them to or that grow in bad places etc]

los bajos fondos = criminal underworld [lit. "the low depths"]

el más allá = "the great beyond", "the afterlife" [lit. "the more over there/beyond"]

buen/mal augurio = good/bad omen buen/mal presagio = good/bad omen

buena/mala suerte = good/bad luck

...Also includes all the greetings like buen día / buenos días or buenas noches etc. they're all considered set phrases

There are also many collocations that use adjectives in their normal place that also can't be separated such as los frutos secos "nuts", or el vino tinto/banco "red/white wine" etc.

A collocation just means that they are treating multiple words as set phrases or a singular unit

And again, some history/geographical terms will have these as well:

la Gran Muralla China = Great Wall of China

la Primera Guerra Mundial = First World War

la Segunda Guerra Mundial = Second World War

el Sacro Imperio Romano = Holy Roman Empire

la Antigua Grecia = Ancient Greece

el Antiguo Egipto = Ancient Egypt (el) Alto Egipto = Upper Egypt (el) Bajo Egipto = Lower Egypt

Nueva York = New York

Nueva Zelanda = New Zealand

Nuevo México = New Mexico

Nueva Escocia = Nova Scotia [lit. "New Scotland"]

la Gran Manzana = the Big Apple [aka "New York"]

Buenos Aires

There are many such terms

#spanish #langblr #spanish language #learning spanish #spanish grammar #learn spanish #long post #spanish vocabulary #vocabulario

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mimisempai · 3 months

Text

Better than anyone else

Summary

Returning to the bookshop after fiercely defending Crowley, Aziraphale doesn't expect such a passionate welcome.

Notes

50 Types of Kisses - Writing Prompts

Kiss #9: A kiss that lasts so long, they are sharing each other’s breaths

On Ao3

Rating T - 642 words

"But Mr. Fell, you could do so much better."

"Oh, yes? Like who?"

Mr. Brown stood in front of him and answered directly, "Well, me, since you seem to like men with red hair."

Seeing the bookseller continue to advance without so much as a glance at him, Mr. Brown caught up with him and grabbed Aziraphale's arm, forcing him to stop before adding, "Mr. Fell, you deserve so much better than this... than this punk!"

Annoyance turned to anger as the angel replied, hammering his finger on the annoying Mr. Brown's chest, "This punk, as you call him, has saved my life more times than you can count. He's the only person I trust who really knows me. He doesn't love an idea he has of me, but who I really am. I'm not better than him, and one thing's for sure: he's a million times better than you.

The angel was so angry with the red-haired, mustachioed man that he almost spat out the last words as he continued, "Don't even think of talking to me if it doesn't concern the shopkeepers' association!"

As he left the flabbergasted man behind and opened the bookshop door, Aziraphale sighed, releasing some of the tension, though still angry on Crowley's behalf.

How could that idiot dare?

He shut the door behind him and turned the small "Closed" sign outward.

No sooner had he taken a few steps than he found himself pressed against one of the bookshop columns, Crowley's lips covering his own.

Aziraphale, though surprised by the welcome, didn't take long to actively participate in the kiss, instinctively wrapping his arms around the demon's waist. Then he parted his lips and allowed Crowley's tongue to enter his mouth in an electrifying, frenzied motion. Soon, the angel forgot everything that wasn't Crowley as the kiss lasted almost indefinitely, as each time the demon sensed the angel's attempt to pull away, he held him close and continued the kiss, to the point where they almost forgot to breathe.

Aziraphale didn't even know how much time had passed since Crowley had started kissing her, and it wasn't until they both felt they couldn't go on without breathing that Crowley slowly pulled away, just enough for them to catch their breath.

They were now forehead to forehead, out of breath, and Aziraphale swallowed several times before he could speak, "Wow... Crowley... not that I didn't love every second of it, but is there any particular reason for such a greeting? "

Crowley replied, panting, "I...heard you talking to that idiot...and even...while it's not the first time I've heard you defend me, it's the first time I've seen you do it with such fierceness."

Aziraphale replied softly, "I will always defend you, Crowley.... I meant every word."

Crowley didn't reply and pressed his lips to Aziraphale's once more in a kiss that, though filled with the same passion, was soft and slow, with none of the urgency of the previous one.

A little later, when they parted again to catch their breath, Crowley's hand slid down the Angel's arm and, intertwining their fingers, he said to Aziraphale as he pulled him toward the door, "Come with me, Angel."

"Where?"

"To Paris, to eat crepes, because this moment deserves to be celebrated in a special way."

The angel's eyes lit up as he replied, following the demon, "See, that's what I said, for that alone you're a million times better than anyone else."

Crowley replied with a pout, "Just because of the crepes?"

Aziraphale shook his head, planted a kiss on the demon's cheek, and replied, "No, just because you're you."

Crowley didn't have to do anything special to be a million times better than anyone else to Aziraphale.

He just had to be.

Crowley, the demon who has loved him since the dawn of time.

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story 🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable kisses series : here

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here

Divider by @firefly-graphics

#good omens #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable boyfriends #aziraphale #crowley #good omens fanfiction #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #50 kisses

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heejayy · 1 year

Text

Shuri U. || Focus

Warning • none

Genre • fluff

Pairing • Professor Shuri x black fem! Student Reader

Disclaimer: I don’t know shit about Biochemistry so bare with me

“Make sure you guys study and please email me any questions you have about the exam over the weekend because I will not be able to answer them the day off.” While your professor spoke to her students that barely listened you internally panicked. You panicked because you didn’t know what the hell was going on, you thought it was a bright idea to go back to school learn after earning your degree in English Literature. You wanted to try something new and out of all things you chose to major in biochemistry.

You glanced up at your professor as she watched her last class leave without even acknowledging her. Yeah she could be tough but she was sweet the least they could do is tell her bye.

Before you could get your thoughts together your mouth started moving “ Professor Udaku?” She gave you a warm smile as you made your way over to her.

“Yes? Can I help you with something?” She said almost too eagerly.

“Um yes…” you said unsurely you had a question but you didn’t want to sound stupid or like your weren’t paying attention. So you panicked like an idiot “I- uh um never mind.”

Her face fell as she watched you hurriedly leave her class room.

“Damn it I should’ve just asked her.”

You sat in the library trying to hold back tears of frustration. You’ve been staring at this question for the past forty-five minutes trying to figure out the answer but you’ve come up with nothing. Further frustrated you slammed your notebook close along with the text book.

You roughly wiped your eyes trying to get rid of the tears before they spilled.

“Having trouble?” You jolt from hearing a voice come from behind you. You sniffled clearing your throat before looking around. It was your professor, great she’s now seen you cry.

“No I-I’m fine thank you though” ignoring your rejection for help she pulled out a seat besides opening your book looking at your work. She whispered the overly highlighted question to herself giving it a thought.

“Ahh ok so explain why enzyme catalyzed reactions are generally more responsive to changes in temperature than are analogous chemical reactions which do not involve enzymes” you sniffle side eyeing her waiting on her to answer her own question.

“Professor i obviously don’t know what the answer is” she chuckled at your bluntness.

She slid her chair closer while also pulling your text book to her. You caught a whiff of her perfume and you were mesmerized. It wrong to be attracted to your teacher but my god.

“Ms. Y/l/n are you listening? ” You perked up at your name nodding lying knowing for a fact you weren’t.

“Ok so unlike uncatalyzed chemical reactions, in which heat can be added or reduced indefinitely, to push a reaction-“ she lost you.

Your mind started to wonder after the second sentence. You knew you should be focusing on the work but you couldn’t. You were staring at her curly hair, along with her well manicured nails, and her unbuttoned shirt- her shirt wasn’t unbuttoned that low in class. You would know you were staring.

“Earth to y/n?!” You blink out of you trance looking at her.

“I’m sorry I-“

“Who recommended you my class?” She abruptly asked cutting you off.

“One of my friends Riri, you might know her” she shook her head letting out a soft chuckle like she knew exactly who you were talking about.

“Listen I don’t doubt your intelligence but I think you need a bit more tutoring, ya know some special attention unlike some of my other students” god you loved the way her accent rolled off her tongue, it was so sexy.

While she mumbled something about tutoring she took your pencil from your hands writing down something in your notebook.

“Here’s my number-“

“Professor i already have it you gave it out in open house” she shook her head.

“This is my personal number, contact me if you need any more help but for now I have to go, I have a meeting to attend” she slid her chair back standing up straightening her suit.

“We’ll get you to pass one way or another” she winked at you before smoothly walking away.

God she’s so hot you thought.

“Wait what did she mean by that?” You furrowed your eyebrows whispering to your self.

A/n: what do you guys think Shuri meant 👀

Focus Pt2. Fluff ver.

Focus Pt2. Smut Ver.

Shuri Masterlist

©heejayy 2023 — any reposts or translations of my works outside of tumblr are strictly prohibited unless granted permission 🤍

#ask heejayy #shuri imagine #professor shuri #shuri x reader #shuri x black!fem reader #shuri udaku #marvel #mcu #shuri x you #lesbian #shuri black panther #shuri x black!reader #x black reader #shuri x y/n

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bratshaws · 6 months

Text

through the hourglass.311 brb x oc

a/n: OH BOY, stuff will be answered in the coming chapters (comments and reblogs are super welcome and encouraged!)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none uwu

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

/267/268/269/270/271/272/273/274/275/276/277/278/279/280/281/282/283/284/285/286/287/288/289/290/291/292/293/294/295/296/297/298/299/300/301

/302/303/304/305/306/307/308/309/310

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @novastories @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix @lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @louisahale @leobabbyyy @booklover2sblog @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12

@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @fanboyswhore9 @jesfreedark @katiemcrae @lilmonstrjedi @hobiismyhopeu @teacupsandtopgun @insominac23 @gh0stsgoodgirl @mygyn @chavivaelisheva @kmc1989 @enchantingharmonyalpaca @callsign-magnolia

The soft glow of morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting a warm embrace over the room. Beatrice relished these moments of quiet solitude before the demands of the day unfolded. She sat up in bed, the oversized shirt enveloping her like a comforting cocoon,a cocoon that smelled like Rooster.

A faint smile played on her lips as she surveyed the room, the remnants of Rooster's presence embedded in every corner: a framed photo captured a candid moment of them laughing on a lazy Sunday afternoon, one of the first pictures they took together after getting married.

A half-empty bottle of cologne stood proudly on top of the bathroom sink, its scent lingering in the air like a trace of his essence. Next to it was a small shaving cream and razor, she always made sure to check if it was standing still on the little stand.

Beatrice swung her legs off the bed, the cool floor meeting the warmth of her bare feet. She padded over to the bathroom, the door creaking softly as she pushed it open. The sight of Rooster's toothbrush next to hers brought a soft smile to her face. She reached for her toothpaste, and looked back at the shower stall.

The shower curtain hung loosely, the scent of his preferred body wash lingering in the air even with him being gone for almost a month now. A single towel on the hook, his favorite, was there, clean, of course because…he could come back earlier. She spits the toothpaste off and rubs her eyes before going back to the bedroom.

A gentle breeze rustled the leaves of the nearby trees as she opened the curtains, the sky was that shade of pastel pink and baby lilac she adored so much.

As she stood by the window, a soft ping echoed through the room. Beatrice turned to see her phone lighting up with a message. She knew it was a text from Rooster, a simple "Good morning, love" accompanied by a heart emoji was seen when she picked it up. She couldn't help but smile, typing back a response, “Good night to you,handsome.”

Roos (06:01)

Wish me luck? We’ll leave in a few hours to do the mission.

Beatrice's fingers danced over the phone's screen as she crafted her response.

Bea (06:03)

Luck is on your side, always, Roos. Come back to me safely.

She hit send, her eyes lingering on the screen as if the words could magically reach him faster. The anticipation of each mission never lessened, and the distance between them during these times seemed to stretch indefinitely. She took a deep breath, reminding herself of the routine she'd cultivated to manage the ache of his absence.

With a glance at the clock, she realized she had a few hours before her own mission started. Soon the kids would wake up and she’d have t– there was someone downstairs. She pauses, going immediately still as she hears something falling on the ground. Beatrice headed downstairs, with Jolene right behind her, why wasn’t Eleanor barking if there was an intruder???

Oh my god.

What if they hurt Eleanor??

She grabs an umbrella on the way down, the sudden ‘i must protect my cubs’ feeling came strong and Beatrice chewed on her lower lip. Beatrice felt a knot forming in her stomach. The soft padding of her footsteps on the hardwood floor seemed to echo in the otherwise silent house. As she reached the bottom of the staircase, she hesitated for a moment, listening intently.

Another sound, a muffled clatter, reached her ears, and her instincts kicked in. She moved quietly, taking measured steps towards the kitchen. The familiar scent of coffee lingered in the air, but it was accompanied by an unfamiliar presence. Beatrice's mind raced through the possibilities, each one more unsettling than the last.

She hated being anxious.

Beatrice tightened her grip on the umbrella, her pulse quickening with each step. As she entered the kitchen, her eyes widened at the sight before her. Shells stood there, a sheepish grin on her face, holding a bag of spilled groceries.

"Shells! What the hell are you doing here?" Beatrice exclaimed, a mix of relief and irritation flooding her.

Shells looked up, eyes widening at the sight of Beatrice wielding an umbrella like a weapon. "Whoa, Bea, it's just me! Easy with the umbrella!"

Beatrice blinked, realizing the absurdity of her defensive stance. She lowered the umbrella,furrowing her brows "Shells, you scared the life out of me! Why didn't you just ring the doorbell?"

Shells chuckled nervously, scratching the back of her head. "Uh, I didn't want to wake the kids. You know how they nap."

“Yeah! Because it's six in the morning Shells!”

Shells flashed an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Bea. I didn't think you'd go all ninja warrior on me. I was just trying to surprise you."

Beatrice took a deep breath, the adrenaline slowly subsiding. "Surprise me? At six in the morning with an uninvited entrance? What happened to 'hey, I'm coming over'?"

Shells shrugged, still grinning. "I thought it'd be more fun this way. Besides, I brought breakfast."

Beatrice looked at the spilled groceries and sighed. "Breakfast is on the floor, Shells."

"Yeah, about that..." Shells crouched down to collect the fallen items, her sheepish expression turning into a grin again. "I may have tripped on your welcome mat. It's more of a trip hazard than I thought."

Beatrice rolled her eyes, her initial fear giving way to annoyance. "Breakfast is not supposed to be a surprise attack, Shells. And since when do you bring groceries?"

Shells straightened up, holding the bag triumphantly. "Since today! I figured I'd treat you to a surprise breakfast. You know, to lighten the mood with Rooster away on a mission."

Beatrice sighed, her irritation softening into a smile. Shells, despite her unconventional entrance, meant well. "Well, thanks for the thought, but I hope you brought more than what's on the floor."

Shells grinned, pointing at the bag. "Fear not, babes. I've got eggs, bacon, and all the essentials for a breakfast feast. I'll even clean up the mess. Consider it an apology for the unintentional scare."

Beatrice couldn't help but laugh at Shells' antics. "You're lucky I didn't hit you with the umbrella.” she says, nodding at the closed accessory, “Also,since when do you cook?"

Shells feigned offense, placing a hand over her heart. "Bea, I'm wounded! I'll have you know that I've been watching cooking shows lately. I'm practically a culinary genius now."

"Cooking shows make you a genius? Well, if you say so. Just don't burn down my kitchen."

Shells mock saluted. "No promises, but I'll do my best, Captain."

As they set about salvaging the groceries and preparing breakfast, the tension that had gripped Beatrice began to ease. The early morning scare morphed into a lighthearted exchange, and Shells' infectious energy had a way of melting away anxieties.

"So, spill it, Shells. What's the real reason for this surprise breakfast?" Beatrice asked, sitting on her chair with her eyes noticing Eleanor chewing on a nice treat outside, “Also,did you give Eleanor a treat so she didn’t bark?”

“Yep."

Beatrice raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing on her lips. "Well, that’s fine–”

Shells nodded, her expression turning serious. "I also lost sleep and couldn’t really call aunt Penny so.”

“Oh."

“Yeah…”

“...You..never complained about nightmares.”

Shells sighed, her gaze dropping to the pan as she cooked. "It's just... I had a rough night. Couldn't shake them off, you know?"

“Care to share, or is it classified information?"

Shells chuckled, but it held a touch of vulnerability. "Maybe a bit classified, but you know how it is. The usual stuff."

Beatrice nodded, sympathy etched across her features. "Yeah, I get it. Is it…does it have to do with your m-."

“Nah I never dream about her.”Shells glanced up,lips pursed “She’s dead so, what do I care? No this one was…I guess it’s the overall stress, you know? With the bar and all.”

"I'm sorry you had a rough night. Stress does crazy things to our minds, especially when you're dealing with a lot."

"Yeah," Shells replied, the sizzle of bacon filling the air as she focused on the cooking. "I just needed a change of scenery, you know? And what better way to change things up than surprising you with breakfast?"

Beatrice smiled, appreciating Shells' attempt to lighten the mood. "Well, I appreciate the effort. And for the record, you're not allowed to lose sleep over nightmares without telling me. We're in this together, remember?"

Shells grinned, flipping the bacon with practiced ease. "Got it, babes. No more solo missions into the realm of bad dreams. I'll inform you in advance next time."

As the aroma of breakfast filled the kitchen, Shells set the table with a mismatched collection of plates and utensils. Beatrice couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude for her friend's spontaneous gesture. In the midst of the chaos surrounding Rooster's mission and the uncertainties with Mark and Miranda, Shells' presence brought a much-needed moment of peace.

They sat down to eat, the bacon crispy, the eggs perfectly scrambled, and the toast buttered to perfection. Shells raised her fork in a mock salute. "To surprise breakfasts and conquering the nightmares."

Beatrice clinked her fork against Shells', a smile playing on her lips. "To unexpected rescues and facing the unknown together."

Was he surprised the mission was a success?

No.

Was he surprised that Mark was acting weird?

Also no.

The adrenaline that had fueled their dogfight began to ebb away, leaving them with the tangible weight of fatigue. Rooster, standing by his jet, surveyed the tarmac as ground crews worked efficiently to refuel and inspect the fighter planes.

Mark lingered nearby, his posture tense and shoulders squared. Rooster observed him discreetly, noting the way other pilots seemed to avoid direct interaction with him. It was as if an invisible barrier surrounded Mark, isolating him from the everyone else.

Rooster decided to approach, his steps deliberate and his expression neutral. As he neared, Mark glanced up, meeting Rooster's gaze with a guarded look.

"Good work out there, Mark," Rooster acknowledged, his tone even. "The mission was a success."

Mark's response was a curt nod, his eyes flitting away. "Just doing my part."

Rooster furrowed his brow. "Is there something on your mind, Mark?"

Mark hesitated, his jaw tight. "Nothing, sir. Just focused on the mission, that's all."

Rooster regarded him for a moment, weighing the words. "Mark, we're a team. If there's anything you need to talk about—"

"I appreciate the sentiment, Rooster, but I've got it under control," Mark interjected, his tone firm. "No need to worry."

Rooster's gaze lingered, a sense of unease settling in. He decided to press further, despite Mark's resistance. "I've noticed some tension among the recruits. Is everything okay on your end?"

Mark's eyes narrowed, a flicker of defensiveness crossing his face. "Recruits come and go. It's the nature of the job."

Oh.

Rooster’s eyes darkened immediately.

“...How so,Mark?”

Mark's jaw tightened, and a hint of frustration flashed in his eyes. "They're inexperienced. They slow us down. We have to pick up the slack, cover for their mistakes. It's like babysitting sometimes."

Rooster's expression remained steady, though the tension in the air thickened. "Well Mark, they're part of the squadron. We work as a team, and that means supporting each other, especially when someone is still learning the ropes."

Mark scoffed, a bitter edge to his voice. "Supporting them doesn't mean coddling them, Rooster. We have a standard to uphold, and if they can't meet it, they shouldn't be here."

"Training and mentoring are part of leadership, Mark. It's not about lowering standards but helping others rise to meet them. That's how we become a stronger, more cohesive unit."

Mark's gaze hardened, the resentment beneath the surface becoming more apparent. "Maybe some of us don't have the luxury of time for mentorship, Rooster. Maybe some of us have more pressing matters to attend to."

Rooster's eyes narrowed slightly. "What are you getting at, Mark?"

Mark hesitated, as if contemplating whether to reveal more. “I-I…” Roosted flicked his eyebrow and the other pilot gulped, all the bravado disappearing, “Just…the breach and all,we are all…o-on edge.”

Rooster regarded Mark with a scrutinizing gaze. The mention of the breach seemed to hang heavily between them, an unspoken understanding that there might be more beneath the surface.

Rooster decided to tread carefully, not wanting to escalate the tension further.

"The breach has everyone on edge, Mark. I get that," Rooster replied, his voice measured. "But we don’t go letting your anger out on the recruits." he knew it wasn’t that, he knew what McAllister told him was true.

Mark's shoulders tensed, and for a moment, it seemed like he might say something more. However, he bit back the words, his expression hardening once again. "Okay,uh, thank you, Rooster."

“Mhm.”

“A-Are you going to talk to Vice-Admiral Simpson?”

“I might.” Rooster whispered, “He has to know about the mission,right?”

Mark shifted uncomfortably, a glimmer of uncertainty in his eyes. "I suppose. But I'm sure he's already aware of everything. We did accomplish the mission, after all."

"Accomplishing the mission is part of the job, Mark. But I'm also concerned about the internal dynamics within the squadron. We need trust and cohesion to operate effectively."

Mark's jaw clenched, the frustration evident. "I'm doing my job, Rooster. Don't question my dedication."

"I'm not questioning your dedication, Mark. I'm questioning your approach. We need unity, especially now with the breach. If there's something you're not telling me, I need to know."

Mark's eyes flashed with a mix of anger and reluctance. "I told you, Rooster. I've got it under control."

Rooster's expression remained steadfast. "I'll take that as a temporary answer. But if whatever you're dealing with starts affecting the squadron, it becomes my concern."

With that, Rooster turned away, leaving Mark standing with a storm of emotions brewing within him.

He had to figure this shit out.

Now.

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw x named reader #tgm oc #tgm fic #tgm fanfiction

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zorosprincess · 16 hours

Text

When vs If

PAIRING - Oikawa Tooru x Reader WC - 3.1K GENRE - Angst SYNOPSIS - You said 'if', when did it stop being 'when'?

PREV PART | MASTERLIST | NEXT PART

You had convinced yourself that you were overreacting. Nothing was wrong. You were being paranoid based off of past experiences. You had convinced yourself, or he had convinced you. You were imagining it when you thought he was acting like something had been bothering him.

You were only being insecure every time you asked, just to make sure, when he was acting like something was wrong, when he swore nothing was wrong and he was just tired. "Are you going to break up with me?"

Tooru had convinced you that you were overreacting when he always replied with the same answer. "Of course not baby, you're never going to get rid of me. I'm here to annoy you for the rest of our lives."

He convinced you to ignore the gut feeling you had about it. Just three days ago, when you were driving to look at apartments, he brought up just building yourselves a house, just like how you wanted to. Told you that eventually, when you moved cities, it could become a summer vacation home and they could build another to raise your kids in.

He convinced you when he talked to his family, telling his nephew about how you were an addition to the family. When his family praised you for taking care of him.

You always took care of him. More than he asked.

You packed him lunches and made breakfasts and dinners. You made sure the laundry was done and tried to clean. You made sure to remind him to take care of himself too, to not overstress himself the exact way you did.

Every time you crashed down and thought that maybe your love was overbearing, that you didn't get the same reciprocation. Every time you asked "are you going to break up with me," he assured you that he wouldn't. He'd pepper your cheeks with kisses and hold you while you sniffled back your tears.

Ending college was hard. There were so many unknowns. Finishing up the last project of the year was infinitely harder. You were way past your deadline for it but you had an indefinite extension. The only limit was the one you put on yourself, getting it in by the end of summer.

The concern of where you would live the next year only added to it. You and Tooru's original decision of no roommates had morphed into him slowly trying to push the idea of sharing a space. A last resort, he called it.

You worked two jobs trying to prepare to move, trying to avoid the stress of thinking about it. To make sure that you had enough money for the new place. So once you got there, there would be no more worries.

Today was the end to a long week. Sunday. Your last shift until the next Monday. You'd agreed with T0oru to take the whole week off to pack your house and move into a storage unit. You were both supposed to crash at Makki and Mattsun's until you'd heard back from the complex you were putting an application into tomorrow.

You were off by 3pm, your boss having let you off early so that you could go home and start packing. You'd lost track of time since then, a show playing in the background as you packed all the clothes that you wouldn't need for the next three weeks (just to be sure).

It was almost 8 before you decided on a small break. Almost 8 until you realized that you hadn't heard from Tooru all day. The only thing bringing this to your attention now, was his name finally popping up on your phone

He was supposed to be off at 8:30. Just 30 more minutes before he would be coming home and you could make your official plan about how to tackle the upcoming week and everything else moving forward.

He'd sent you a snapchat with a filter on, little horns coming out of his brown curls and a silly look on his face, tongue poking out at you. You'd laughed and sent one back quickly. Silly pictures sent back and forth and only a small bit of conversation as you waited for him to be finished at work. 'How was your day today?' 'Long.' 'Yeah, me too. I'm so exhausted.'

It was finally time for him to be off, you could tell by the way that the scenery behind him changed from inside the gym to the open sky of the parking lot. You decided to ask if he wanted to get the food you'd been craving.

From y/n <3: How do you feel about getting pizza when you come home?

That was when the dreaded text came in. The worst thing you could say to an overthinker.

From Royal Pain <3: Okay. I just want to talk to you about something first.

Your heart stopped in your chest. Sudden pressure, tightness winding from your heart and consuming your lungs.

From y/n <3: About what? Should I be anxious?

He took too long to open it and the bubbling anxiety forced you to hit call on his number. You were greeted with the rumble of his car engine when he picked up. "Should I be anxious?" You repeated the question out loud and he sighed.

"No, no sorry." He apologizes and sighs again. "I know that was suck wording, I just wanted to sit down and have a conversation about some things."

You could hear the tightness in your voice, like your anxiety circled each word as you spoke. "Okay, what things?"

"Love, I'm gonna be home in like 5 minutes and we'll talk."

Your legs moved on their own accord, lifting you off of your shared bed and taking you downstairs as he spoke, your need to pace arising. Pace to get out all the anxiety that built inside you.

You didn't want to push him. "Okay, I love you, Tooru."

"Love you too, I'll be right there."

You found yourself in the garage, carried by your feet subconsciously. You'd tucked yourself safely into the little corner of the couch you and your roommates had kept in there. Brought your knees to your chest and covered yourself in a blanket.

You were trying to will your anxiety to stop. He promised he wasn't leaving. He just wants to talk.

"What are you doing out here?" Tooru asked when he found you after looking through the house. "I thought you'd be in our room."

"I had anxiety and just kinda ended up here." You mumbled and he nodded in return. You waited for him to sit next to you. He didn't. He stayed standing. "Tooru, can you please tell me what's up?"

He took a deep sigh before starting. "There's a few things that have been bothering me about our relationship and I just want to try and talk them out before I keep bottling them up. Before they get so bad that they aren't fixable anymore."

You felt the anxiety building up even more and you winced. You had been doing something wrong. Like always. And then there was a quick rush of anger.

He had said 'keep bottling them up.'

He had sat there and convinced you that you'd been imagining it. He had convinced you that the gut feeling you had about something being wrong with him was fucking incorrect.

You wanted to scream. All you did was whisper. "Okay."

He listed out his reasons and you tried to stay quiet. You tried to listen. To look at him. But every time you looked at him you could see him breaking your heart a million times. You couldn't hold the contract for very long.

You were trying to not cry. You were trying to explain yourself when he said there was something you did. You were apologizing. Apologies formed in the frame of: 'I'm sorry.' 'I didn't realize I-' 'I did it because..."

You never got to finish your reasons with another "I'm sorry if I hurt you." You were trying to get there but he always cut you off.

"I don't get why you have to argue with me." He exclaimed the last time he cuts you off. You pause. Was that what you were doing? Had you been arguing? "I'm just trying to tell you what's wrong so we can fix it."

"I'm not trying to argue!" You defended yourself. "I was just explaining why I did it so you could see where I was coming from." You wiped your palms against your cheeks in frustration, trying desperately to keep the tears back.

"It's easier to fix if we get where the other is coming from, we can find somewhere to meet in the middle." You whimpered at the eyeroll you knew he'd done subconsciously. "Please, this is hard for me. It feels like you're breaking up with me."

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, shaking out some of his curls. "I'm not breaking up with you. I told you that." The words should have been comforting, but something about them made you more on edge. The tone in which he said them. Exasperation.

"Yeah," you scoffed, your anger getting a hold on you a little more, trying to protect yourself, "you also told me, repeatedly, that nothing was wrong." His eyes snapped back to you but you quickly looked away. The second that he looked at you softly, you would do anything he asked. You would lose yourself. Lose your will to fight for yourself to be heard.

"Now here you are, telling me that you were lying to me." You could feel a tear escape and you quickly brushed it away before he could take it in. "How do I know you were telling the truth every time you said you weren't going to leave me?" It was harsh but it was the truth you needed to say.

"Why don't you believe me? Huh?" He was raising his voice, something he rarely did, especially at you. "Is it trust issues or what?" He spit the words out, like they tasted bad on his tongue and you could see him fling his arms in the air from the corner of your eye.

"You are always 'your tone of voice' and 'your body language says'... God! Can you not just believe me!" He ended it with a groan. Frustration or annoyance, you couldn't tell, maybe it was a mix of both.

"I'm sorry, I just pick up on the way you act and underlying tones, it's a bad habit, I'm trying to stop." You were trying to drag your eyes back to him. He was looking down at you, standing instead of sitting on the couch with you, shaking his head at your responses.

"You can't just believe me? I don't get your whole thing about tone and whatever. But if we get married one day-"

You cut him off quickly, your full attention going to look at his face, to see if he realized what he'd done. "What do you mean 'if'?"

"What?" Genuine confusion crossed his face as he looked back at you, confused at the wide-eyes look across your own face as you looked up at him. You knew that terror was visibly seeping into each of your features.

"You said, 'if we get married one day'."

"Yeah." He shrugged his shoulders in indifference. "And?"

"When did that become 'if'?" You asked the voice quietly, your voice barely rising to an audible level. You were afraid of the response. "Its always been 'when we get married', 'when we have kids', 'when'." He sighed and bit his lip out of what you assumed was his own nerves. "It's always been 'when' for me and I thought it was too. So when did 'when' become 'if'?"

"I don't know." He took a step back away from you, turning his body slightly away from you. It didn't go unnoticed by you. "A couple months ago?"

You scoffed in disbelief. A couple months. He'd been lying to you for a couple months. "Okay," you whispered, "you wanna know why I read into tone and body language?" You asked the question and he only rolled his eyes again. You didn't care, you kept talking.

"You just stepped away from me when you were talking about that. When you were talking about mentally changing the way you thought about us being together long term, you physically put distance between us. How am I supposed to take that?"

"You're not supposed to take it any way!" He exclaimed. "I got tired of standing without moving."

"Okay, why do you have to be standing, you can't put yourself on the same level as me. You have to be on a different level, to have all the control in this conversation. Like you've decided how this conversation ends."

"Oh my god!" He shouted, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Stop fucking reading into everything!" He shook his head like he couldn't believe that he had to deal with this. to deal with me.

"You want to talk about body language? Then what the hell does it mean that you can't seem to look at me this entire conversation when all I've been doing is looking at you!"

"That I'm worried if I look at you I'll cry. That I don't want to cry because I know you need this off your chest and you'll blame yourself and stop if I cry." That if you look at him, at Oikawa Tooru, the man you decided was the love of your life, then you would see what you saw the very first day you met him and he gave you that saccharine smile. You would see him breaking you into a million pieces.

"Please just sit down." You whispered, begging him.

"Seriously?" He scoffed but collapsed on the other end of the couch. He sat closer the the front edge of the couch and leaned far back into the seat, a position that screamed about how he didn't care. "This is really better for you?"

You winced at the harshness of his tone. The condescension seeping through his words. He thought you were being ridiculous and he was making it clear. You hated it, but it was better than him standing and physically looking down at you.

"Yes." He sighs and shakes his head but stays silent. "Let's just talk through this and we can fix it. We can find a compromise." You swallowed hard trying to explain. You were trying the 'I'm going to stop doing...' It was fine for a little while. Until you started to ask for things in return too.

"I will try to stop raising my voice, I just need you to tell me I am. I don't realize it a lot, we have different views on yelling. I need you to tell me."

"I do!" He was rolling his eyes but staring straight ahead, no longer at you. "I say, 'why are we yelling?' is that not telling you that you're yelling?"

"That's not what I mean, I can't tell you why, I don't understand it, but it doesn't click for me. It makes me think you're talking down to me and I know you don't mean to. I just need you to tell me 'y/n you are yelling right now'."

He puffed air out of his nose, hands running through his hair again. "That doesn't fucking make sense. I don't understand how your brain works." You could feel the tightening in your chest becoming overwhelming. You didn't understand it either. "Whatever. Fine."

"Could you help me around the house too? I know I've been slacking on some of the chores like groceries and laundry, but I need help. You only ever get groceries if I'm already going and even then, sometimes you don't come. And I always do your laundry too but you only ever do yours unless I ask you specifically."

They were small things to you, things you didn't mind doing, but you knew you needed help. And if you were attempting to change for him you needed something back. Something to help you ease up on your stress.

It went on for a little longer, what you thought were minor requests being met with annoyance and hesitation. Until he stopped responding all together. It was like you could see it happening, him disengaging, the gears slowing down in his head as they settled on a solution.

"Please talk to me." You begged for it. You couldn't let him get caught in his head. "Don't go quiet. Tell me what you're thinking." Your voice was quiet and wet, tears threatening to spill more than they already had. "I know you're getting in your head. I can see it happening."

He shook his head softly, no eye roll paired with it this time, no irritation at you. He was staring blankly at the wall in front of you both, his fingers rubbing into his temple. "I'm trying to decide if this is even worth it."

You froze in place, your body turning into a statue, watching your world crumbling around you. "What?"

"I don't know if this is worth it." He said it plainly. It was just a fact. No emotions attached to it. You were pretty sure that you could physically feel your heart tearing in your chest. "Is this even something worth fixing? Is it worth the effort?"

"What do you mean?" You squeaked out the words. This had to be a nightmare. You were sure of it. "Of course it's worth it to try. It's us. Years of us, of course it's worth trying." You were sure you would wake up in the morning and it would have never happened.

"Tooru, look at me please." He turned his head slowly, an apologetic look in his eyes. You would wake up and this would've been a scene your anxiety created in your head. "Tooru, are you breaking up with me?" You would open your eyes and still be waiting for him to come home from work.

His eyes looked glossy, but he nodded his head. "I'm so sorry."

All of the times you thought about it. All the times you had thought 'if he breaks up with me,' you had never thought 'when he breaks up with me'.

a/n thanks for coming to the free therapy of fictionalizing my irl breakup experiences. and yes. this was the actual way it happened

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